#will likely also be tired and thirsty

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

happy wash your fucking water bottle wednesday. don’t forget to clean the nozzle too!

@notthestarwar tagged as requested hehe!

[castielsprostate]

x

[kamil-a]

futures already had the worst possible things to happen to it happen its all postgame now. just emdless new types of loneliness for people to give it. it knows where it stands with aerolith already, unlike sayer and ocean and speaker (at first) who think maybe they can Be Good Enough to win its (aerolith, the concept's) favor, future has no illusions, they (aerolith, every person and ai in it) want me dead, i want all of them dead. if i cant get positive attention then your thoughts will be squarely on me for the final hours of your life.

[thornheartless]

Putting this here as well actually because I think it's funny

Thirsting over a fictional guy so hard that a whole dissociative blackout happens, that's being put in timeout by the brain

[cowsaresushi-coral]

"oh i feel bauseus i think im si-"

DEHYDRATION CHECK

[goldensunset]

i love when i come in from the cold and my head has lost so much heat that i feel dizzy lol

[liquidstar]

HI my close good friends have been SO very kind to me about the little oc writing practice excerpt i posted, and its genuinely helped me to be less self-conscious abt it (but i am still posting in the dead of night lol) but!!! because of this i wanna post one more today. again, very much not the final product (who knows when that'll be!) but, well, here's what i got i guess!

the needed context for this excerpt is that it happens after a mission which ended with saiph in the infirmary with a broken arm, after al told him not to be rash!!! but the more IMPORTANT context is that it mirrors a scene just before the mission, where saiph refuses al's help with a t shot, laughing off the question and saying he's not scared of the needle like when he was younger. he's been doing this for so long now after all... (also because im not using fantasy explanations for trans stuff here, he does have to have a shot lol)

anyway,

-----

The night following a mission's end always proved to be the most exhausting. The adrenaline rush dissipates, leaving only the harsh reality of injury and blood loss. The enervation is an unrelenting burden weighing on the body, and every movement becomes onerous. This is nothing to speak of the emotional fatigue.

Preparing for bed in their shared inn room, neither Saiph nor Al could say a word. A thick, oppressive atmosphere lingered. The dim lamp cast a solemn and hazy glow, adding to the sense of lethargy that seemed to suffocate the air. The cathartic release they had experienced at the infirmary has left a miasma of unresolved tension.

Even in the midst of fatigue and injury, Saiph was determined to do things alone. He managed to change and brush his teeth with his non-dominant arm, completing his nightly routine on his own, without much hassle. Except…

Saiph looked at Al, laying by the lamp with a book, his face partially hidden in the shadows. For a brief moment, the book seemed like a barrier- breaking it felt like a taboo.

Hesitantly, Saiph manages to speak, “Hey,” Al glances up almost immediately, and he continues, “Could you, like…” His words faltered as he gestured towards his bag, finding it hard to look at Al’s face, “I mean, it's just that, y’know, it's hard to do a shot one-handed. So…”

“Huh?” Al furrowed his brow in confusion, before processing these fumbled words. “Oh,” he puts his book down the second he grasps this as a request for help. Saiph hands Al a little pouch, and Al removes a needle and vial.

“You gotta-”

“I know, I've seen you do it.” Al smiles, “Go sit down.”

Saiph nods and takes a seat on his bed.

Al prepares the shot and kneels down, positioning himself between Saiph's legs. He carefully places the very tip of the needle on Saiph’s skin, and Saiph tenses at the touch. The room suddenly felt warmer- too warm. It was difficult to breathe, not just from the physical strain, but also from the intensity of their proximity.

Al stops to focus on the needle for a moment. Before he can press it down, he looks up at Saiph and clarifies, “But still, tell me if I mess up or anything,” with sweaty palms, Al adjusts his grip slightly, adding, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You're fine,” Saiph replied with an uneven voice, unable to vocalize any further sentiment. Avoiding eye contact, he instead chooses to fixate on the ceiling, trying to gain a semblance of composure. He takes a single glance at Al, before immediately looking away again. He blushes at the sight, and he quietly reaffirms, “You're doing fine.”

With that confirmation, Al looks back down. He rests his arms on Saiph's legs and steadies his hands. The low light is making it difficult for him to focus his eyes, and there's a ringing in his ears that just won't settle. Still, he eventually builds enough nerve to stab the needle in, just the slightest bit.

He feels Saiph twitch. “It doesn't hurt?” he asks without looking away this time, keeping his eyes focused on the tiny little prick he just made.

“No, it's- it's fine,” Saiph is no longer capable of averting his gaze either. He maintains a fixed stare below, studying the image of Al between his thighs. Truthfully, Saiph can't even feel the needle; he's significantly more preoccupied with Al's steady breathing, or the slightest parting of his lips in concentration, or the faint flush on his cheeks. He needs to shake these ideas from his head right now.

At Saiph's confirmation, Al pushes the needle deeper, exhaling as he does so. He feels Saiph slightly, incredibly slightly, jolt at the sensation. It must feel different when someone else does it, Al supposed.

With a final push of the syringe, the injection was finished. Al pulled the needle out and set it aside. He, however, stays in place. In fact, neither party makes any effort to pull away. Not even by an inch. The only sound in the room was the quiet hum of electricity, the only movement was in the branches out the window. Was it fatigue that kept them locked in this intimate position? Or something else? That would be too troublesome to contemplate further.

After a long, still moment, Al breaks the silence, “I don't mind helping like this,” His voice was painfully weak, painfully himself, “Ask me for more. I want to help you more,” He declared with more ambition.

“Maybe…”

“Please,” Al lifts his arms and wraps them around Saiph’s waist, still on his knees, clinging desperately, as if Saiph would fall away if he let go. “If there's ever anything… Anything…”

Saiph's free hand warily moved to Al's head, running his fingers through his hair, mixing the black and white strands. “I know,” He said with a faint smile.

Al looked up at him, their eyes meeting for the first time since they entered this dingy room. Al’s eyes were baggy, exhausted, on the verge of tears. Above all, they were begging. For some reason, even in this vulnerable state, Saiph could only think of them- of him, as beautiful. Saiph pushes the thought back and moves his hand to cup Al’s cheek. He tries to give him a reassuring look.

Al closed his eyes at this gesture, leaning into the comfort for only a second. He apologetically stands up, finally breaking away from their entanglement, and returns to his own bed. He doesn’t bother to pick his book back up, making the covers his new barrier.

Saiph remained on his bed, unsure if his reassurance had been received. All he could think to say was a soft, tentative, "Good night."

No, that was a lie. He could think of one other thing, but he didn't say it. It's the fatigue speaking, surely, so he shouldn't say it. It would be inconsiderate of Al too, so he wouldn't say it. Even if it were the truth, he couldn't think it.

Bisected onto separate beds, the room returned to its miasma of unresolved tension.

[alltimefail-sims]

WHY don't we have pool tables or more hobbies/activities in general in this godforsaken game!?!?!

[jackleopard]

I went to a school to test some kids today for my thesis and the teacher who received me and talked to me while we waited for the headmaster was the nicest person 💕💕💕

[omegapheromone]

Finally managed to fall asleep despite my hypersensitivity and little emotional distress temper tantrum. I feel like I was run over by the damn toxic gossip train, my body feels all limp and like a ragdoll today, like sleep never really left me fully. At least I'm not as hypersensitive anymore but I'm somehow still upset and sad over my nest struggles last night

[jonny-b-meowborn]

i just cried after doing the dishes because of my paws being in pain and because I feel like I'm being a terrible host because I'm kinda tired of my guests. I love spending time with them, but having to go to work, do my house chores, keep them entertained and fed, is just too much. And I feel like being overwhelmed makes me a horrible host. I didnt tell them anything, I'm trying to seem like I'm not that tired, but just because in my head I'm getting tired of all that, I'm bad. And yes I know that my thoughts don't make me bad, but that doesn't matter because while I know that I still feel like absolute piece of garbage. Because like, how could I even think of that. I'm supposed to be happy about them being here, and I am happy, but I am also constantly in pain and have to do everything around the house and it's just too much

[howemuginative]

If I have to stay awake one more night feeling like something is wrong with me only to find out that a drink I had that day had surprise caffeine in it one more time

I'm going to move to a new country where 90% of drinks aren't caffienated

[danieyells]

ON MY WAY HOME. I love clients where i basically get paid to do nothing.

[fallenstarcat]

sometimes i feel like people forget autism is a disability. and that’s not a bad thing! i’m all for disability acceptance, im proud of my disabilities. but i feel like we forget autism can hurt.

it hurts that i have to put more time and energy into socializing than others.

it hurts when i need to move so bad, usually cause im overwhelmed by either my surroundings or emotions, that i thrash and hurt myself.

it hurts that i cant be in places that are too loud or too bright, which on bad days can be as simple as a small, quiet noise or dim lights.

it hurts that i struggle to tell when im hungry, thirsty, tired, etc. so i can’t properly take care of myself. it doesn’t help my insomnia and i get very nauseas and get UTIs.

i 100% believe in autism acceptance. i don’t want a cure. but i also want us the acknowledge that it can hurt. it doesn’t mean my entire life will hurt, but some parts will. and i want a community where we can see both sides, see the hurt, and celebrate it anyway.

[scholarhect]

i’ve been trying to “i want to die? no ✨ i want a change in my life ✨” girlboss myself for years but i still think “i need to kill myself ☹️” each and every time i’m in a sort of bad mood. not sure what this means or implies, if anything. might be nothing at all. might be a bit of language that means nothing

[syxnewt]

As it has been many times in my life, I am reminded of an oft repeated phrase: go to bed nigga