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#will just try to go to sleep and hope my heart hurts less in the morning and maybe try taking baby steps too. lol
secretlyobito · 1 day
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Arranged marriage! Itachi x reader
Itachi must fix the damage he caused
Contains: teeny tiny bit of angst that turned into a lot, fluff, nicer Itachi, hurt to comfort, mentions of itachi's illness.
Part 2 to this
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What was that incessant pain? Y/N groans as she awakes from her slumber groggily. Her hands fly to the aching spot, her neck, which was strained from sleeping in such an odd position. Why exactly am I sleeping on the floor she thought but grimaces soon after, as she remembers what happened. She had fallen asleep crying, all thanks to Itachi.
She scowls as she remembers his cruel words and the awful sensation of the genjustsu he had trapped her in, what exactly did she do to deserve that? All that just because she tried to make their relationship civil. She hisses in pain as she gets up from her spot on the floor, her sore limbs cracking and groaning in protest. She could feel the stinging sensation of dried tears on her cheeks and the inevitable puffiness of her face. Above all she felt this immense sadness, she thought he would at least come in to check on her or apologise but he didn't, what a jerk.
The shuffling in the bedroom alerts Itachi that she's awake. He planned to go in earlier but decided against it after hearing how hard she she was crying, the last thing she needed was to see his face. Now however, he had no more excuses to not apologise. He slowly approaches the bedroom, his heart thumping in his chest. What if she tells her grandfather about this? What if Hiruzen decides to cancel their deal and go ahead with the execution of the Uchiha because of this? He couldn't believe he let his emotions get the best of him like this, the Uchiha could be dead by tonight thanks to him.
Knock knock. He knows twice on the door, his mind still racing with thoughts. He needed to make her forget about this whole thing one way or the other, the future of the clan, of his little brother depended on it.
Knock knock. Perhaps he should just be friendly with her, that was what she wanted after all. Maybe if he gave her what she wanted then she wouldn't tell on him. Itachi cringed at his internal monologue, he really let things spin out of control. He felt like he was eight years old again, trying to convince sasuke not to tell on him to their parents by bribing him with attention and piggyback rides. Humiliating
Knock kno- The door swings open revealing an angry Y/N, her eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks stained with dry tears. Itachi's heart sinks at the sight and he doesn't even know why. He absolutely did not want to take it this far, he hadn't meant to hurt her like this. "Y/N..."
She stares at him, as if trying to convey her emotions with her eyes, her eyes that were filled with pain and resentment, towards him. He slowly backs her into the room, shutting the door behind them. He hesitantly grabs her hand and leads her over to the bed, sitting her down gently. He can sense the hesitation in her, it's almost as if she's scared of him now, he sighs, he really messed up.
"I am sorry Y/N. My actions were....unbecoming of someone of my status, much less as your husband". She keeps her head turned a way from him petutantly, he was joking if he thought that was all it was going to take to obtain her forgiveness. She fake sniffles, deciding to punish him, hoping to give him 1/10th of the torment he put her through.
Itachi panicks as he hears her sniffle, before he can stop himself his hand are moving to wipe her 'tears'. They both stare at each other in shock at itachi's very unusual display of affection, he quickly withdraws his hands, clearing his throat as he tries to dispel the now akward atmosphere. "I understand the severity of what I did and while I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn it" he has to force the words out of his throat, reminding himself he was doing this for his clan's sake.
She looks at him in skepticism, not believing a damn word he's saying. She wasn't stupid, she knew he was only apologising because he didn't want her to tell on him. Her chest twisted as she took in the fact that he didn't even value her emotions, she sighs as she turns further away from him, she wished he would just get out.
The next few moments were like slow motion, one minute she was getting ready to tell him to leave, the next minute she felt him wrap his arms around her. What. The. Heck. She blinked rapidly in surprise as she did a double take, Itachi was indeed hugging her! And....she couldn't say it felt bad. Maybe it was the fatigue, maybe it was the emotional trauma but she let herself relax into him. He was warm and smelt like a rainy day.
Itachi let out a breath as he felt her relax into his touch, he knew he had to show her he was sorry not just say it. It felt strange, all his instincts were screaming at him not to do this, he knew he had started to fall down a bottomless hole, surely he couldn't be falling for her. But would that be so wrong? His whole life he had trained himself like a machine, deliberately preventing himself from getting attached to anyone because the truth was, he couldn't. His health put a ticking time bomb on his life and he knew it was only a matter of time before he would succumb to sickness. He couldn't do this to her, he couldn't let her fall in love with him and then leave her but despite the storm raging in his mind, he felt himself pulling her closer. He held her tight as he breathed in the scent of her hair, he felt all his defenses crumbling and for once, he decided to let it happen. He would let himself this one selfish thing before he eventually met his demise, he would let himself love.
Months go by and true to his resolution, Itachi let himself grow closer to Y/N. They grew accustomed to each other's company, slept in the same bed and even called eachother pet names, Itachi's favourite for her being 'flower'.
Yet deep in his heart, he knew this was wrong. He knew he was doing a terrible thing, letting her love him knowing he could die at any moment, he shook his head trying to clear his thoughts as he waited on the living couch. The sky outside was painted beautifully with hues of orange and pink as the sun set. It was 6:28pm, much longer than when she was supposed to be home from work.
On a normal day, Itachi wouldn't even be home by this time but since he had no missions today, he decided to relax. His relaxation was cut short however, when he realized his wife wasn't back home the time she was supposed to be. Y/N was never really late on the days he was home, she was always home by 5 or a few minutes after. He was starting to get worried, was she ok? Did something happen?.
His thoughts were cut short as she pushed through the living room door "Hi Tachi, sorry I'm home late" she greets with a tight smile. Itachi was up on his feet immediately, something was wrong, her hair was disheveled and she looked shaken, not to mention that fake smile she just tried to fool him with. "flower, what happened?"
Her eyes widen as she hears his question, she shakes her head as she tries to push past him, "nothing I'm fine" Itachi blocks her path as he observes her with worry, he squints as he notices her hiding her left arm behind her back. "What are you doing? What happend to your hand" he asks trying to grab her hand, his eyes widen in shock as she jerks it back almost immediately, stumbling away from him. "N-nothing! I already told you" Itachi frowns as he watches her lie and move away from him "No more games Y/N let me see your hand" "It's fine Tachi, really!".
He scoffs as he approaches her slowly, determined to find out what's wrong with her. "I said I'm fine" she argues bringing her right hand to his chest to shove him away but Itachi uses the opening to grab the hand on his chest and yank her forward. She yelps as she stumbles into him, instinctively bringing out her left hand to balance herself. Itachi sees this and finally grabs the hand she had been hiding, bringing it up to his face to inspect it.
His eyes widen as he takes in the hand, her knuckles are busted, blood caking the skin. Her usually smooth skin is littered with cut and bruises. "What the hell Y/N! What is this??" "I-I fell" "cut the bullshit! Tell me what happened now damnit!" Itachi pleads, his chest tightening as he takes in her injured fist "please...."
She sighs as she takes in the distraught look on his face, she hated when he worried about her.
"My boss came in to work drunk today..." she starts, Itachi nods listening intently as he cradles her bruised fist in his larger one, gently caressing the flesh. "He started making a scene and yelling at eveyone, we had no idea what to do and we couldn't exactly call the police on him. Then he approached me.....he started telling me I was the worst worker here and that i was only in my position because of ji-chan. He called me names too, then he...." she stops her face contorting in discomfort.
"Then he what?" Itachi urges, moving his hand to rub her shoulder comfortignly. She takes a deep breath "......Then he touched me".
"..............."
".............."
"..........he did what?"
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Ya'll this was supposed to be fluff but the spirit of angst possessed me and I started writing about Itachi's illness 😭 guess this story's not gonna have a happy ending. Also just so you know, Itachi's gonna beat a bitch up in part 3, leave a like or reblog if you enjoyed!♡
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helinshi · 5 hours
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LOVESICK!satoru x LOVESICKANDSWEET!reader pt2
pt.1 ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅
๛ ๋ ׅ ˖ ꕮ fluff,angst,happy ending,cursed words,crying,first love,first kiss, misunderstandings,Christmas,sukunas a bad guy,satoru gets hurt,satorus just a baby. ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
a/n: english isn't my first language sorry if i made any mistakes:) and all the credits goes to the owner of these art i used here!
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next day was going well,until satoru saw you giving sukuna notes again..the cracking feelings all hitting him like a slap in the face. What can he say? You weren't the type of person who'd shoo away someone who just wanted some notes from you. Satoru didn't said anything about, spending his time with you and teasing you as always because he loves how you laugh at his stupid jokes, gripping his amr whenever your somewhere crowdy with him. not to mention that he had noticed that you don't hesitate to drink water by the side of the cup he drank from. Yet the thought of you still talking with sukuna bothered him to no end. Everyday when he came to school and sees you talking to sukuna or giving that bitch notes made him wanting to punch the smirk off sukunas face. since the Christmas party was near, satoru as always already had decided to go to the party with you,and you had decided the same. So when he sees sukuna pining you against the locker room asking you to go to the party with him satoru's heart sinks in his stomach. He knew you'd say yes.. because you rarely rejected people because you were too weak to be rude like that. He just walked away from there saying nothing. That night he cried thinking that he might lose you to sukuna and his first love might be left incompleted. Little did he knew he was your first love and crush too. Few days passes like that and for the first time satoru avoides you, making you confused why did he said no to you wanting to lunch with him together, doing homework with you. You were done with this. So much.
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(next day at school)
You approached satoru at lunch break,so when he looked at you his eyes have dark circles from no sleeping. "Satoru,can we talk?" You asked. Hoping that he will say yes. And he did,how could he not when you hand has grabbed his so softly and gently, looking at him with those cute eyes of yours. Almost making him forget that he was avoiding you,he lets you drag him by his hand to the corner of the school stairs, making sure there was no one.
"why are you avoiding me?"
"...."
He frozed, looking at you nervously and mindlessly getting his hand out of your grip. Your heart cracks seeing him acting like this,he had never took away his hand from you like this. Instead his arm had always wrapped around your shoulder, letting you stay close to him,your most safest place. Satoru sighs before speaking. His heart beating rapidly.
"you like sukuna dont you? Your going to the Christmas party with him right?"
"..."
You stare at him dumbfounded,a pout on your lips trying to register what he said,you and sukuna? How could he even imagine you dating sukuna, your just a normal girl and sukuna's a player who always dates new girls every month or even less than a month. You sigh looking at his angelic face
"you saw him asking me to go to the Christmas party with him right?*
Seeing satoru nod you smile softly
"i would never. How could you even think I'll go to the party with him? I don't wanna end up like other girls who ends up getting her heart broken after dating him. You know i always go to the party every year with you?
wrapping your arms around him pulling you into a comforting hug,tears were already running down satoru's face in happiness and over him being a dumbass like you. It didn't take too long for him to confess his love for you. making you both end up giggling and sharing your first kiss with him sitting on the stairs of karaoke on the day of Christmas.
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pepprs · 1 year
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i guess like. i mean it’s not even an i guess thing it’s like i know because it’s been studied and talked about including in my own life. but someone close to you experiencing trauma (even if it was like before you were born or if you never witnessed it / weren’t close to it or whatever) is also… hm… traumatic!
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#ughhhh sorry 3am angstposting incoming#notes from the crypt#i just got back from teo weeks of visiting my parents and extended family#sometimes i wonder if it would be kinder if they just disowned me and were done with it#they arent even subtle about how little they care about me and my wellbeing and safety#every time i delude myself into thinking things can be repaired they twist the knife a little deeper#im just so tired#i try so hard#i give so much of myself and work so hard to be optimistic and kind to everyone and get back apathy or worse#i just don't know how much longer i can do this#my heart hurts so bad it feels like all my veins turned to glass and then shattered#i just dont know what to do#i dont know how to build a found family or neighborhood support system from scratch#im so tired of just surviving#is it really so impossible to find someone to cherish who will cherish you back?#maybe my dad is right and im just unloveable#i want to go home but ive bever really had one#and im honestly losing hope that i ever will#ill end up like ellenor rigby#or one of those people you hear about where no one realizes they are dead for months until they get evicted for not paying rent#or until their corpse starts leaking through the ceiling of their downstair neighbors apartment#i just wish someone out there cared#sorry for being dramatic ill be fine in a few days probably#and im not going to do anything drastic- i have my cats to think about#i just need to scream into a void and write these thoughts before they eat me alive#anyway im going to sleep#hopefully in the morning ill feel less like a moldy shoe left to rot on the side of the highway
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maxivstappen · 2 months
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THE GREATEST — TRUE BLUE
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[ part one / masterlist / requests are open ]
☽。⋆ part 2 of THE GREATEST. he tried to live without you, but how is one to survive with a broken heart? a story based on TRUE BLUE by billie eilish. — lando norris x fem!reader (could technically be read as a stand-alone)
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 angst, hurt & comfort, hints of fluff (?) 𝄞 4.1k words
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❝ Lights out, you’re not here holding me ❞
Lando had never before felt the way he did the day you left him. Seeing you walk through that door, intending to never come back to him ever again, it pained him. It took him too long to realize how much he hurt you, and now he had to suffer the consequences. He swore it wasn’t on purpose, but when his friends told him that also the third girl he had brought along since you broke up with him resembled you in a way, he stopped denying. There was no use. The guys knew, the internet knew, he knew that he wasn’t yet over you. And he thinks he never will be. You left an empty place in his heart, a place that would forever be reserved for you only and you only. No matter how hard he tried to find someone else, no one would ever be able to replace you.
The girl he brought to the first race after the summer break was long forgotten already.
At first, everyone around him believed him when he said he felt happier now without you. But the moment he went back to his old ways, the heartbreaker they’ve known for so long, they realized he wasn’t. The girls always looked like you. He only rarely smiled anymore and he couldn‘t care less about his friends‘ relationships, even going as far as faking a gag or simply not coming to hang out with them at all. He said it’s because he needs to focus on racing. They knew it was because of you. Lando was yet to tell them why the relationship ended. He’d rather crash his car and DNF in every race for the rest of his life than to ever have to talk about the night you left ever again. He felt embarrassed and bad and was so terribly regretful. Only his parents knew the whole truth. He told them with tears caressing his face just like you once did, and seeing the disappointment in their eyes, he felt his heart rip apart even more. They had loved you so much, only waiting for the day he would finally go down on one knee for you, and now he messed it all up.
If he could just go back and make it all alright. Make you feel unconditionally loved wherever you went, make you happy, keep you happy. He would change it all if he just had the chance, but he knew you deserved better. Maybe one day, he could be better again.
He is ready to give up the very thing for you that had made you leave him that night if you’d ask him to. Racing would never again mean as much to him as you, though broken up, still do to him.
He was currently seated in his McLaren, waiting for the lights to go out so he could try his very best to overtake max at the start already. He should have his mind on the track. He shouldn’t think about you, not here. But like always, he couldn’t help it. He hoped to see you in the stands once he was able to get out of the car again. He hoped to see you wave and smile at him, run into his arms and let him kiss you all over, do all the things he had failed to do so many months ago. He knew it wouldn’t happen. He believed anyway. The lights went out and the cars began moving. He tried his best, he always did, but he wasn‘t afraid to lose anymore; for what was it worth to win a race when he had faced the greatest loss of them all already?
❝ I count every tear down my cheek instead of sheep ❞
You couldn’t sleep. You could never sleep while he was racing. Especially when he was on the other side of the world, which is why you went with him last season, and also at the start of this one. Maybe you never should’ve. Long distance was hard, but you managed. He felt farther away when he was still sleeping next you every night. At least when he didn’t send you off to sleep on the couch.
You tossed and turned in your sleep, but you didn’t dare to turn on the TV. It’s been months, you should try to live without him. Without seeing him. Without feeling for him. His races had nothing to do with you, neither did the outcome. And god, if he wins and you have to watch him kiss someone else again you might as well just take his racing car and drive right into the nearest wall. He’s so far away and yet, it didn’t make you love him any less. You huffed, fear slowly building up inside of you. You knew you shouldn’t do this, you had to wake up early tomorrow and really, it wouldn’t be that bad to miss a race once or twice, but you couldn’t help it. Reaching for the remote, your eyes were flooded with tears and your heart stung like never before when you saw him driving out there. You were rooting for him nonetheless. Just months ago you had watched the races from inside the McLaren hospitality, but now? All alone in your bed, anxiously following his every move. You would never fall asleep like this.
❝ Sleepwalk, find myself on your street. Three knocks, ring the bell, then I leave ❞
And there you stood high up in the stands the next weekend, head hanging low as you didn‘t want any fans of him recognizing you, back in his territory. You tried to ignore him, you really did, but your eyes kept following him around the paddock and didn’t leave him even while he was doing the quick interviews he had to do on his way there. And honestly, it kinda felt like home. Attending the races. Being near him. Being with him. You missed it more than anything else in the world, and you felt pathetic for it. He hurt you every way he could, and still, he didn’t hurt you enough to make you hate him. And you really wanted to hate him.
You went to the race together with one of your friends from uni. You bonded over formula 1 and your shared passion for the sport and quickly became very good friends. However, she had to leave soon, moving to another city for a better starting point for her career. Hence, you decided to save some money and go to a race together for the last time; for now, at least. You still remember the way she looked at you when you told her you were with Lando. The way you swooned over him to her, and the way you cried your eyes out when it all ended. You really thought you‘d be able to spend the rest of your life with him, and now all you had left of him were memories. She‘s known you long enough to immediately notice your longing after him the moment your eyes locked onto his dark brown curls. Your heart fluttered and it made you nauseous. One day this would stop, right? Your feeling must fade at least sometime, or was this all just wishful thinking? Could you not just get over him like everyone else got over their exes and start dating someone new?
Your heart ached. He was so close, not out of reach anymore, not on the other side of the world anymore, but still, there was no way of getting back to him, the crash barriers and the grandstand keeping you away, and it felt like the end of your relationship all over again, with him on the track and you sitting and waiting patiently on the sidelines, always at least an arm length distance between you two. You shouldn’t even want to get him back. You left out a sigh as he walked into the McLaren hospitality, finally out of sight. But still not out of mind.
Your friend huffed next to you, and finally decided to try and convince you to talk to him after the race while you were still in the same place, to get closure at last. You knew it must annoy your friends and maybe even your family that it was so hard for you to just move on. They put effort into understanding, but still, Lando wasn‘t good to you, at least not in the end. Many would treat you better, but you didn‘t seem to care. You quickly shook your head no, telling her how he probably didn’t want to talk to you and that catching him after the race would be nearly impossible, with bodyguards and tons and tons of interviewers and cameras around him.
The conversation ended soon after, as the lights went out and the drivers hit the gas. You pondered for a second, reconsidering your friend‘s suggestion, a weird feeling building up in your stomach. Maybe you shouldn’t even be here, maybe you should *leave* after the race and never look back. But to your dismay, every sense in your body was telling you to stay.
❝ I try to live in black and white but I’m so blue ❞
The race went well, but he didn‘t really care. Of course he was happy, the whole team was euphoric for their two drivers who secured place 2 and 4, huge smiles plastered on their faces. Once he was done with the post-race interviews he left to go back and get some rest inside his apartment, at least until the others came around to drag him to the afterparty, slandering from one club into the next one.
Everything felt so lonely without you. His bed was cold even when he was hidden under his blanket, and the dining room was nothing more than a reminder that he wasn‘t spending his evenings with you. Watching TV got boring. Everything got boring. He didn’t even know why he lost you anymore, he didn’t know what the hell it was that made him believe you weren’t made for him, making him believe there was actually something more important than you in this lifetime. You haunted his every thought, and even though he truly only wanted the best for you, deep inside him, he wanted you to still need him as well.
He stood in front of his bathroom mirror, gently buttoning up his shirt like you used to do, always leaving the 3 highest ones unbuttoned. He missed your touch, your eyes looking up at him and your hands always reaching for his. His arms would be wrapped around your waist and his head would be leaning on your shoulder, sneaking a few, small kisses up your neck as you changed your earrings for the night, the imagine of it painted onto your fast beating heart as you stood in front of the full-body mirror in your apartment, finishing up your accessoires. You wore a blue dress that covered your thighs, not reaching your knees. It hugged you in all the right places, accentuating your features. It used to be Lando‘s favourite, but you had no other alternative, not having brought any other dresses. Your friend insisted on going clubbing anyway, desperately wanting to finally get him off your mind for one night at least.
The other drivers were loud and happy and drunk and Lando sat next to them, staring at his already empty glass. He knew how this would go. At some point, either the drivers or one of their girls would tap his shoulder, saying they have a friend they think he would really like, and if he would like to be introduced to her. He would agree so they would finally keep their mouths shut, he would talk to the girl. Maybe they would kiss if he drank enough. Maybe he would take her home. Maybe he would think about you the whole time, maybe he would accidentally call her your name. Maybe he would wake up in the morning and would be happy that she‘d left, content with it only being a one-time thing and not meaning anything.
Because, in the end, nothing meant anything without you.
He pretended to laugh at the jokes of his friends, but really, none of this was fun to him. These nights were nothing more than a constant reminder of how he used to have his fun while you were waiting for him at home, cold and sad and alone. How could he be so stupid and leave you alone all the time? He doesn’t even know why he did it anymore. He yawned, very obviously not enjoying the party. Yes, it was nice seeing his friends so happy, the mood wasn’t as tense as it was around and on the track and the people inside the night club were vivid, dancing and drinking, seemingly having the time of their life downing countless beverages, but still, the happiness didn’t reach him.
“Dude, I think your girl‘s here.“ Oscar pushed him slightly, two vodka bull in hand for himself and Lily. Lando didn’t pay him any mind and rolled his eyes, not really in the mood for talking to any girl that isn’t you at the moment. Couldn’t they just give up? He wasn’t ready yet for someone else, he didn’t even know if he wanted to be with someone that isn’t you at all. Ever. Instead of arguing with Oscar about how he didn’t want to hear from any other girl right now, he went to get another drink as well.
He pushed through the dense crowd of people, navigating through the cacophony of laughter and piercing yelling that seemed to echo from all directions. The deafening loud music blasting through his ears made it difficult to focus, and the harsh sound of glass clunking together only added to it. The colorful LED lights rapidly switched from green to red to purple to yellow in a matter of seconds, creating a dizzying light show that overwhelmed his vision. This sensory onslaught of sounds, sights, and sensations overstimulated his senses, making each step forward feel like an effort.
Finally at his destination, he waited for the waiter or waitress, he wasn’t quite sure, to get his order. He wasn’t certain what his plan was that night at all. Sleeping around or not, you wouldn’t stop haunting his mind anyway, so was it really worth it? Getting drunk and trying to make his nights feel less lonesome? Or should he just wait and really focus on his carrer again until maybe, one day, you’d come back?
He ignored the possibilty of you not coming back at all.
He let his eyes wander around the scene unfolding in front of him, occasionally making eye contact with random girls who winked at him and tried to get his attention, but he didn’t pay them any mind. Frustration started to bubble up inside of him as the wait for his drink seemed to go on for forever, until suddenly, his heart skipped a beat.
Lando was certain that in a room full of people, he would always be able to notice you first. He pondered if it was you whenever he‘d walk by a girl with the same hair colour as you, immediately dismissing the thought when he saw a face that didn’t match yours just a second later. But this time, it was different. The hair ressembled yours without a doubt, and of course he remembered the dress he had bought for you so long ago; never once had he been able to keep his hands to himself when you wore it. The height matched you perfectly as well. But it couldn’t be you, right?
Oscar‘s words replayed in his mind and he finally understood what he meant. Who he meant.
It was really you.
You tried to enjoy the party, but you really weren’t doing so well. Your friend had left you near the bar, thinking you’d be hitting it off with a guy you’ve been talking to for some time, but that wasn’t the case. he left just five minutes after to go home, asking if you’d like to come with him. You denied, but your friend was nowhere to be found, having found someone in this club herself. It was scary being alone in a club full of drunk, intoxicated people, even more so when you sensed someone staring at you from behind. You didn’t have to worry about things like that when you were still with Lando, with him always stuck to your side, a protective arm hanging around your shoulders. you shuddered at the thought, and dared to turn around to find the very person who was looking at you so steadily.
And then you locked eyes.
The world suddenly went quiet. All the chaos, the noise, it all faded into the background, no sound to be heard other than the synchronised, rapid beating of your heart. It seemed as if the only two people in that room were you and him, only the void surrounding the two of you. The LEDs turned blue, engulfing you and him, the light accentuating your features and he couldn’t move even if he wanted to, stuck in a trance of what this could mean for him in the future; what this could mean for you both. Time seemed to stand still. He wanted to run to you, to hold you, to tell you how much he missed you, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor. His breath hitched and so did yours, all the yearning, all the longing hitting you and him at lightspeed.
You walked towards him, each step filled with electricity. The tension was palpable, his mouth agape as you stood in front of him, only centimeters away from closing the gap between you. There was so much he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to apologize, so many things he wanted to make right, but he didn‘t dare to say things first, afraid too scare you off. The last thing he wanted is for you to leave him again.
“I didn‘t know you‘d be here, thought I‘d seen Oscar but I wasn‘t sure,“ you started, stumbling over your own words, laughing awkwardly, then biting your lip right after. He noticed, because you always did that when you were nervous; you’d done it too when you broke up with him. You wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but that would be a lie, one he could look right through of. You just couldn‘t process actually being in his presence again.
“You still wear the dress?“
“It‘s, uhm, quite pretty, so yeah.“ You nodded along to your own words, gulping at the tense and awkward silence right after, looking down at your shoes, the sight of him in this light still not leaving your mind. Maybe he didn‘t even feel the same way, maybe he didn‘t even want to talk to you. Maybe you already made a fool of yourself when you made your way over to him, maybe you really should‘ve just stayed at home. But at the same time, this is what you‘d hoped for this whole time. To finally see him again.
“I‘m so sorry for what I did to you, y/n, please believe me. E-Ever since you left, I couldn‘t stop thinking about you. Not once. I tried to move on, y‘know, would probably be better for you as well, ‘cause you deserve better than how I‘ve treated you at the end and I don‘t want to have to put you through that again but I just- I miss you so much, I don‘t know what to do! And now you‘re here and I swear I‘ve been waiting for a moment like this and-,“ he stopped for a second, heavy and shaky breaths filling the silence, „If giving up racing means you‘ll let me come back to you, I‘ll do it.“
Your teary eyes widened and you looked up at him again, staring into his. One could take it as an empty promise. But you knew better than anyone else that Lando wasn’t one to joke about racing, ever. “Lando you can’t just- I- I mean, racing? It didn‘t work before Lan I just- don‘t give up your dreams for me, please? You shouldn‘t, you have so much ahead of you still,“ you sighed out, every single part of your body overwhelmed like never before.
But Lando was certain. He traced every yet so small feature of your face and body with his eyes, and he knew in that exact moment that, no matter what, he could never lose you again. Not this time. Not when fate hat somehow brought you together once again, giving him a second chance to make it all better. Question was now if you’d let him have that second chance too.
He lifted his hand to gently wipe away the tear running down your cheek, having you lean into his familiar touch. “I’ll do it for you”, he said, and that was when you broke apart, legs feeling numb and wobbly suddenly. Tears streamed down your face as you took another step forward and he wrapped his arms around your body out of reflex, gently placing soft kisses on top of your head, tearing up as well as your cried into his chest.
Maybe it was bad, maybe you shouldn’t feel like this again, but you’ve never once after the breakup felt as at peace with yourself and your as you did now, even if you were in a loud and busy club, surrounded by drunk and high people. You managed to push them to the back of your mind, the familiar scent of Lando’s perfume calming your senses. It felt like home. Maybe he really did owe you something, and though you once were anguished because of it, you wouldn’t ever deprive him of the joy of racing. There would be a way through it without having to abandon any of your or his dreams. There must be if you want it to work out, and you were sure that this time, it would. And so was he.
Lando took you home with him that night, not before you shot your friend a quick text message, afraid she might think you were kidnapped or whatnot. You knew that you’d have to fly home again in two days. He knew that too, but there was no need to rush things anyway. You were still his and he was still yours, and that’s all that mattered for now. It’s gonna be weird explaining this to your friends and your family, but neither of you minded it as long as it meant you could be with each other again. You would have to talk things through and see how you’d manage the race weekends and the events and the media - but not now. Now, with you calmly and lightly snoring in his arms, he didn’t care about any of that, simply content with having you again.
He promised you before you drifted off into your tranquil slumber that he will make it right this time. He will be there for you no matter what, he will defend you and take you with him and show you off and love you like already should have done all these months ago. This time, he will put in the work and the appreciation and the effort, and then, you will finally be able to be the greatest.
❝ I’d like to mean it when I say I’m over you, but that’s still not true. ❞
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taglist for part 2 of the greatest : @mrs-saturday @tylerstacobell @angeltroian @acesbakery @directioner5life @malynn @escuellasceramicdollie @strangetoadroadbat @norrisdriver @aliceisnuts @carlando4 @f1fantasys @no-144444 @belivisa @callsignwidow @cruzgrecia @ifsoniacouldfly @wony6ung @hurtblossom @faeriepigeons @interlagos @xnatqq @fanficweasley @youreintheclubb @chaimaarouaine11 @idgasb @cruzgrecia @madstxo @trisharee (basically everyone who commented vv sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged!)
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anadiasmount · 6 months
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we’re pretending? - jude bellingham x reader.
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quick sum: no date to an upcoming wedding, you use your best friend as last resort. what happens when your best friend isn’t playing pretend anymore and you’re left conflicted with these unusual feelings…
wc: 4.6 k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist
psa 🗣️: i used my og ‘glory box’ fic to get some inspo while writing this fic ngl!! 😣 this was so fun to write not only by the trope but the DRAMAAAA!! like always, hope you enjoy! 🤍
“yes mom, i know. i picked my dress up yesterday, and my flight is booked as well,” you sighed and rolled your eyes knowing she wouldn’t be able to see you through the phone. she knew how important this wedding was but she kept putting the pressure on you. it was the last thing you needed especially after you told her you’d bring someone along.
that someone was now you’re ex-boyfriend. you had less than 48 hours to come up with an excuse or show up alone.
"are you still bringing your plus one?" she asked, the line going silent for a few seconds before she spoke up again. "y/n? are you there?" you should've just lied or said the truth, all you could think of was how happy and super excited she was when you told her you'd met someone and began dating.
"yes mom... we both will be there," you closed your eyes, disappointment in yourself filling the void in your head. you could hear her squeal in the background, telling a voice there with her about the good news. you chewed on your lip anxiously, wanting to cut the call or else you'd break down.
"listen mom, i have t-to go okay? ill call you tomorrow. try not to stress so much," you smiled weakly hearing an "i love you", ending the call after gifting your goodbye. there was no avoiding the mistake you had committed. you wanted to slap some common sense into yourself, because where the hell were you about to find someone?
you clearly remembered the day telling your mom you'd met someone at uni. she was over the moon and wanted to tell everyone but you dismissed the idea, not wanting to rush since you had recently met. you would call her and tell her about him, and she listened so attentively, just like in the movies.
you couldn't bring yourself to tell her when you and max had broken up. your whole life has always been surrounded by being told you needed to be more like your older sister, the pressure of being a golden child laid on you. for once you had something, but that had to get ruined as well.
the scolding, the perfect grades, friends, hell even family. you had to be so careful and live up to their expectations. you loved them, you did, but at times you just felt like moving away was the best idea. and you did just that, the first to move out to a new country, breaking records at uni, and even finding a suitable job.
your boss loved you, and coworkers admired you for the passion and dedication you carried. so why did it have to go all wrong with max? you had an image of him in your head that he was madly in love with you, though you'd later be proven wrong when you found out he was sleeping with his boss. finding them in the act on your 6th month anniversary.
you still can recall the feeling of being unable to breathe, their screams and his pleading going quiet as you could just stare into the room, not once being able to see his eyes. disgust, and rage, but mostly sadness, a heavy heart, and the lump in your throat. he hurt you terribly and you would forever resent that.
after the call, you sat quietly on the couch, hands in your hair as you thought about everything. looking around seeing your bags packed, the blue dress hanging by your room, pictures everywhere. you hated to admit but you were living in a hell, life messy and a disaster. your buzz ringed, seeing through the tiny camera your best friend jude in the frame.
you allowed him in, walking over to the large mirror and wiping away the dry tears, making yourself look more presentable. you looked worn out, eyes droopy and low, lips slightly chapped, and to make matters worse a zit on your chin. you exhaled a breath, keys jiggling as jude came in.
he set his training bag down, took his shoes off, and walked to you, giving you a small hug. "you look terrible," you gave him a warning look, "but lucky you, i brought us food," he spoke cheerfully, the mood inside you going from gloomy to content. "it's raining like crazy, i almost fell coming up. also i brought some packages and your mail," jude continued.
"thank you, i haven't had the time to go down and pick them up! i've been so busy packing and planning last-minute stuff," you groaned, going to the kitchen and washing your hands. "watch, in the next few minutes i'm going to get a call," you theorized. jude pulled out the food and served it into your plates as you grabbed a water for him and a soda for yourself.
"how was training?"
jude shrugged unimpressed, "same old. didn't really have to go in, but they needed me for a small campaign shoot, so i had no choice. also cama and tchou send their hello's."
you and jude spoke amongst yourself. just about each other's days and catching up from the last time you guys were together. you teased him about losing a bet with his little brother, jude whining about how he cheated. new music that came out, and a pop up store that opened lower in downtown.
"so what's got your head in a twist?" jude sipped on his last few ounces of water, leaning his head on his propped-up arm and hand. you awkwardly scratch the back of your neck, pick up the dirty dishes, and walk to the sink. "okay don't make fun of me-"
"you're basically asking me too... also no promises since you just made fun of me for losing against jobe," jude chuckled.
"jude."
"oh it's serious then... what did you do?" he saw the serious look on your face, a small worry constructing in his chest because he rarely saw you like this. you close your eyes, feeling the anxiety build in you once again, "i told my mom i was still bringing max..."
jude scoffed in denial, or trying to cope with the confusion, "y/n, you what?"
"i know! i know! i should've just confessed and coughed up the truth but i- i couldn't! she was so excited jude! i feel terrible for lying believe me i do, but after telling her about him and filling her with hope to break her heart, i just c-c-couldn't," you ramble, dishes clattering as you freaked out.
in your head it didn't seem as bad, but fully saying it out loud to jude, seemed even worse. jude grimaced, knowing you had messed up bad especially since the wedding was right around the corner. "i'm just embarrassed... i know they will start something and just talk down on me if i showed up alone."
jude knew how heavy-handed your family could be, often wanting to resent them because he cared for you so much. he saw how physically and mentally they could rain you even with the smallest sentence. they seemed so worried with their lives instead of the ones they should most value and care for.
jude gave you a concerned face, "what?" chuckling nervously when you gasped out, almost being able to see the lit-up light bulb on top of your head. "jude, I'm a genius!"
"well i beg to differ-"
"shut up," you pat your finger against your chin, a mischievous smile on your lip taunting jude's concern even more. "i don't know why i didn't think of this sooner! why don't you pretend to be my boyfriend? just for the wedding that's it!"
jude shook his head, hands coming up to back out of the idea. it was one thing you lying, but now asking you to play pretend was something totally different. "that's not a good idea y/n..." jude clenched his teeth forcing a smile. "oh cmon why not?"
"well, first of all, that's an even bigger lie to your mom. second, pretending would seem impossible. third, i don't want the first time meeting your parents to be a lie because of what happened," jude defended and stated his case.
"it's a huge favor but you'd save my life jude! one weekend and that's it! you have plenty of suits, you're also off this weekend, and they would never suspect a thing! please jude! i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't so desperate," you begged, seeing the hesitation in his eyes.
"it seems like a bad idea... you don't know what you're asking for y/n... were pretending to be a couple when were not! we have to make it believable even under the pressure of the wedding. a theatrical play, a stunt!" jude exclaimed standing up from his chair.
"jude please, please, please! it might feel weird but it's for the night only! after that, we go back to the good old y/n and jude," you followed him as he paced in your living room thinking of his answer. would it be back to normal even if he continued to feel the same for you? the unknown loving feeling he had for you?
the pretending would be hard when all he could hardly think of was you. how he felt recently and how nervous he got around you. he would do anything for you in a heartbeat, but this would break jude further than now. he couldn't fake pretend holding your hand, or kissing your cheek when he meant and wanted to do that with you currently.
as bad as the idea was, here he was hugging you as you cheerfully yelped when he agreed. time moved slowly for him, the sensation of regret and curiosity as what was yet to come from both of you. all he cared for was to make sure you were happy, and if faking being your boyfriend would help you, he was willing to do it, no matter the consequences.
as jude was fixing his hair, you finished setting your makeup with some powder and setting spray. nerves bubbling in you after the first test you encountered last night after your arrival. you let out a laugh at the tiny bed you had to share with jude. seeing his uneasy face even after he offered to sleep on the couch.
"we're running on schedule," you spoke, finishing clasping your jewelry around your hands and rings. jude came behind you, his shirt unbuttoned and abs in full view, as he finished zipping his pants. best friend or not, there was no denying how incredibly sexy jude was. the name should speak for itself, but with the looks and personality he had, it was too good to be true.
"need some help?" he asked seeing you nod slowly and looking down at your feet. he took the necklace, your skin on fire as his fingertips grazed your skin accidentally, almost jumping on the spot, goosebumps grazing your body. he clasped the necklace, grabbing the pendent and fixing it so it laid in the middle. "perfect," he cockliy smirked.
"thank you."
"are you almost ready?" he looked at you as he buttoned up his shirt, you almost stuttered but regained consciousness, "yes, just need to put my dress and shoes on," you turned back quickly furrowing your brows, wanting to slap yourself for allowing yourself to get carried away, or maybe at the uneasy desire in you when seeing jude.
you went to the bathroom, grabbing the lacy undergarments and the blue dress. the color was to die for, the perfect length even with your heels on, the opened back with the front just showing the perfect amount of cleavage, and the whole dress just accentuating your body even more.
you felt the need to throw some water in your face though you couldn't or else it would ruin your makeup. you settled with fanning yourself with your hand, the tense in your chest getting to you as it was becoming real now. you were just pretending with jude. nothing more right?
you looked in the huge light-up mirror, and suddenly the confidence you had dripped away as you thought of jude in the next room over. why did all of a sudden everything feel like it wasn't before? as in, things changed drastically since the night at your apartment? you've never felt this clumsy or as edgy around him.
when you woke up this morning, with jude on top of you laying peacefully, you couldn't help but feel overjoyed, as if it was a natural state and you've done it before. in your own world where the only thing that mattered was him and you. since then you were slightly freaked out, butterflies in your chest when he left or walk into the room.
jude double taked a look as you walked into the room again. the tiny room that felt like a joke to him after walking in hand to hand last night. his eyes roamed you, lips slightly separated as he admired your beauty, heart hammering in his chest. he watched as you grabbed your cheeks, immediately offering to help.
he leaned down, gently grabbing your foot and placing the white jeweled heel on you. your hands were clamped around the small bench cushions, jude looking up then and there to make sure they felt comfortable. once again, his touch felt like fire, playing with your head even more.
when he finished clasping the heel, he extended his hand helping you up. "you look absolutely gorgeous y/n... this dress was made for you," jude croaked, hearing you laugh shakily. "thank you jude. likewise," jude smiled at your reaction, "i mean as in you look super handsome with the suit, not a dress!" you explained.
"i think i got what you meant..." he joked, his eyes roaming uo and down again at you. "good. good. shall we head out?" you swallowed heavily, grabbing your purse, phone, and other stuff you needed for the night. you were in a rush, wanting to get some fresh air or you would explode in the room with jude inside. "lead the way y/n."
jude helped you in an out of the cab, his hand on your bare back as he guided you to the double doors leading into the reception. "how are you feeling? any nerves?" you spoke quietly to him, looking around as people were taking their seats or had their own conversations.
"some but not too many. like you said, it's just for today," he whispered along your ear, gently giving your shoulder a kiss as his hands went to your hips and walked you forward. your mom and aunt gasped, grabbing their dresses and walking towards you, almost sprinting. "here goes nothing," you say.
"oh my god! so you are real!" your mom yelped, making you give her a glare and eyes pleading not to make a scene. "i was starting to think my sweet y/n was lying to me about this boyfriend she had," you almost choked on your saliva, clearing your throat at her words. "i am y/n's mom, what is your name?"
"i'm jude. it's a pleasure to finally meet you ma'am," jude shook her hand and leaned down to kiss her cheeks in a greeting manner, the same with your aunt. jude's hand interlocked with yours, the happiness in your mother's eyes never leaving, almost tearing up at the sight of you with your "boyfriend."
"i can't believe it! it's a miracle, my daughter finally has her first boyfriend," she clapped her hands making you wretched at her choice of wording. you did everything to have her at least praise you once in life, and all it took was to have a boyfriend? you brushed away the glum feeling, jude kissing your hand, distracting you from the small burn in your eyes.
"oh my! look at them! they make such a beautiful pair," your aunt gleamed. "we do, don't we?" jude teased them, "took her a while to say yes to me, but i'm very fortunate to be here," jude resumed. "we're very pleased to have you here, anything you need don't hesitate to ask."
after saying hello to other family friends and cousins, you sat for the ceremony. jude wiped a small tear away after your old school friend finished her vows, slapping his shoulder when he made a small joke about your mascara running. "its not funny! the vows were so beautiful," you said.
"it's like we are watching me before you again," he said making you gasp. "jude what are talking about? you literally cried with me?" you recalled laughing, jude looking around scared if someone was hearing you. "please don't remind me... in my defense, i didn't see that ending at all."
after the ceremony, you and jude greeted other families, and most importantly congratulated the bride and groom. their faces ushered with happiness, overall content with how their day was turning out. you had to excuse yourself from jude at one point, your mom dragging you away for your help. jude was left behind with your dad.
"since she was little, she always hated getting thrown or dragged around," your father spoke, taking a sip of his whiskey. "seems like nothing had changed?" jude asked carefully with a playful smile. "oh not even close! it's my wife doing," he winked.
"jude right?"
"yes sir," jude nodded, presenting the dad talk coming up. "I'm gonna save the unnecessary talk and get straight to the point. it's so weird to see my baby girl all grown up, with the lusting and loving eyes she gives you. you love her very much and i can see that which is why i'm not worried about you hurting or losing her trust."
hell if jude didn't feel guilty before, he did now. he gripped the glass harder, nodding to your dad who looked upset. "she may have told you some stuff about us, but at the end of the day, she's my daughter and i love her the way she is... please just take good care of her for me... she been through enough as it is..."
"i only have good intentions and i promise you i won't ever break her heart," jude promised to your dad, but also himself. he would never be able to forgive himself if he ever did break your heart or make you lose the trust you had. max did it once and jude would never do it. even if it meant keeping away these long feelings for you.
when you returned you saw them laughing and chatting away, your heart full of emotions at them getting along. jude was so mature for his age, and it didn't come to a surprise when he got along with your dad so fast. his hand would naturally lay on your back or on your hip.
the next few hours were filled with more people dancing or chatting away. jude insisting you sat on his lap for a picture when the photographer passed, smiling wide, looking like a happy couple. it seemed so natural to you, being this close and intimate you were getting scared at how fast everything was being thrown at you.
"i had to see it for myself! y/n bagging a footballer? never saw that coming," your cousin approached you giving you a high as he dabbed up jude. "jude meet my cousin adrian, he's a huge fan of you, and just successfully signed with a small club," you introduced them to each other, with a huge grin on your face.
jude’s hand snuck around your waist, his thumb drawing shapes as his full attention was with your cousin who spoke about sports. you listened then and there, but your feet began to ache, switching your weight back and forth uncomfortably.
jude was quick to notice, leaving down to your level and asking if you were okay. “i’m fine i promise, these shoes are killing me that’s all,” you reassured with a smile, jude nodding before cutting the conversation after a few minutes. “i’m going to get her a chair and drinks for us,” you froze when he kissed your temple, “i’ll see you around later,” jude said his goodbyes dragging you along slowly.
like before, your chest beat faster, if he stared, smiled, even touched or got near you, you’d get nervous immediately. the familiar string of falling for someone filling the empty space left behind inside you. he was super good at pretending and it didn’t feel like that anymore.
it felt real. was he just pretending? or was he actually taking this fake relationship seriously and real?
all you could do was stare at his face, mostly his gorgeous brown eyes as he helped you get seated and served you some water, making sure you were fully okay. he sat next to you, his hand interlocking with his, and placing it on his lap as he paid attention to his surroundings. you become quiet, so into your head and questioning his every move now.
“jude?” you spoke softly, a confused smile on your face as he immediately turned to you with a soften gaze. you inhaled a breath, unable to look away from him, his ínstese state causing you to feel intimidated. “is everything okay?” he asked, leaning slightly over to you, pushing a small string of hair back. “is it supposed to feel like this?”
“what is?” jude shook his head not understanding.
“us? why am i getting the idea we’re no longer pretending…”
jude tore his gaze from yours, the panic growing more intense when he wouldn't reply back. "jude please... don't push me away. are we just pretending or has something changed?" you persisted, your hand gliding against his back to get his attention. jude debated, afraid of losing you right here and now, or having the possibility to maybe hear you feel the same way.
"come with me," jude demanded, helping your and dragging you to the dance floor where no one could really see you besides the other happy couples. his hands circled your waist, as yours went to his shoulders, unable to look away from him. "tell me i'm not the only one who feels it..."
"tell me what you feel y/n... what your head is begging to scream out..."
"i can't, i don't know jude. i'm afraid yet so confused? since we got here yesterday things feel different between us. it happened again when we had breakfast, when you put my necklace on, my heels! all of this is giving me mixed signals jude... i haven't felt this in so long.." you confess, a shaky breath escaping your lips when he pulls you closer and kisses your head.
"like now. i can't if you just did that out of pretending or because it came naturally to you. i've never had to worry about what you think till recently... it feels strange... yet ican't help but get hope that it means real," you rest your forehead on his shoulder blinking away the tears that slowly begin to let out.
jude could see how this was affecting you, holding your lower body with one hand and the other smoothing down your spine, feeling how you immediately let loose and relaxed by his praise and touch. jude could also feel the heavy weight beginning to feel heavier if he kept his true hidden feelings away. it was a sign, and there was no going back.
jude's hand cradled your chin, forcing you to look up at his, his brown eyes gazing over your teary face. he was truly amazed and so in love with you it made his head feel cloudy, almost dizzy, at how perfect and pure you were. his tummy fluttering at his gorgeous girl who was confused at how she felt... but in this moment jude knew you were in deep as well.
"tell me something, when you see me, does it make your heart race, like i'm the only person standing there?" you nod, "does your head tell you one thing but your gut tells you another when you see me?" you nod again, this time blowing the air out of jude's lungs. "my head tells me i shouldn't, but my gut tells me i waited so long that maybe it's now to late for us..."
"why would it be too late y/n...?" you shrug your shoulders. "because i don't you feel the same way i'm feeling." jude smiled weakly, his thumb brushing along your jaw, hearing your hum in delight, "how can you know when you haven't asked me?"
your eyes search his for any sign but you don't find any, "what are you feel in this moment jude?"
"that i'm the luckiest man to be here with you tonight," he says proudly, "that i don't think we've wasted any time, rather i feel we're barely getting started on this new branch of our lives... i can't pretend when i'm with you... because pretending to hide how i feel has been so hard, when all i want is you. all of you y/n..."
"i had to see you go through that idiot max, how he hurt you? when you were hurt i was even more devastated because i couldn't protect you. i'd do anything to make you happy or laugh because it's what i want to do. i want to be the only one who gets to do that. i promised your dad but myself also, ask me what the promise is..." jude insisted.
"what's your promise jude?"
"that i'd never break your heart or give you a reason to doubt me. that from this day forward, i completely will give you my all to care and relish our love once and for all. i'm tired of waiting and holding back of what should've existed and started when i first met you."
"jude-"
"i want to give you my all, to be devoted and in love with you forever. you have no idea what you make me feel, think! i wake up longing for you, at work, at my own home. you're the only girl i want and need in my life y/n," jude confessed, the weight finally lifted of his shoulders, now being able to feel like a free man.
you closed your eyes, breathing out a happy chuckle in relief. you sniffled, "you've ruined me jude, completely ruined me with your words, your confession! look at me, i'm worse than when we finished watching the vow!" you joked, hand nestling on the nape of his next, stroking his soft skin.
"you love me jude?"
"more than what you think."
"i need you to know i'm giving you my all as well. I've always sensed how different what we had was, and come to find out, i was just scared and felt the need to push away because you didn't feel the same way. what i feel for you never happened with who shall not be named..." jude chuckles, closing his eyes and swallowing a heavy gulp like you.
"i'm so hopelessly in love with you jude bellingham... so in love, i want to grow old with you, make every promise we said out loud come true. i knew i loved you as soon as we laid eyes, and you stumbled over your words," jude squinted his eyes, shaking his head embarrassed. "kiss me jude."
jude kissed you exactly how he dreamed. your lips soft and sweet as he imagined, even better. cradling your chin to tilt and pulling the kiss deeper. it felt so right, so amazing, so passionate. he was lost, his tongue entering your parted lips when you let out a small gasp and whimper. there was no more pretending, this was more real than ever.
"could get lost in how you taste. how you feel. i love you so much angel."
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sundaycentric · 11 months
Note
I need fluff can you write yandere dan heng and if you do 2 Neuvillete (idk how to spell his name 😭)
Sorry if this goes over the rules you could ignore I loveee yandere dan heng hehe
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(separate yandere) dan heng & neuvillette x gn reader
content ★ headcanons, minific, yandere, not proof read, gn reader, reader has hair in dan heng's part, sfw, fluff?
note ★ i love yandere hcs.. idk what it is i just eat them up every single time. but sorry for my recent inactivity ?!?! i rushed these a bit tho.. hope theyre still good </3 mainly just put my thoughts down :(
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DAN HENG ★
Dan Heng knows what it's like. He knows what it's like to be locked up, forced away from the outside world. He knows what it's like to be alone and scared. He knows what it's like to have someone watch your every move. Dan Heng knows what it would be like for you. Yet, he can't shake the thoughts and desires to take you.
Dan Heng knows it's wrong. He can sympathize, which is probably why he tried to deny it all in the first place. However, he's been so selfless. He accepted punishment without complaint. He helps around the Astral Express so much. It's hard for Dan Heng to not be selfish this once and indulge in his love.
That is if he can even call it love. Dan Heng tried to deny his feelings for you first. He knew how hard it would be, even without expecting the obsession to come along with it. His draconic heritage makes him more possessive than the average lover. They hoard what they love, and it includes their mates as well.
Dan Heng can't avoid it entirely, though. Being without you feels like an even worse punishment than his banishment. With you, he feels something he has never felt before. Dan Heng can no longer deny his love for you, even if it may be more than that.
You might notice him giving extra attention to you. It is never anything big, but rather small things. Dan Heng looks at you a bit longer. He smiles slightly when you talk. He stands closer to you. He won't flinch away when you grab his hand. He'll let you into the Archives. Dan Heng will treat you differently.
He is still silent as ever, but he is more relaxed around you. At the same time, he feels more tense, though. Dan Heng doesn't want to push you away. He'll take his time with you.
In his dragon form, his thoughts are even worse. It is harder to suppress his desire for you. Especially when he already begins to subconsciously think of you as his mate. This is when things get a bit more severe. He's less controlled.
Dan Heng's tail might loosely wrap around your ankle as if you'd run. He'll glare at people he thinks are too close. He'll only go where you go. He'll favor you and always find a way to defend you. Things like this are much more noticeable as his love grows.
The Archives have a lot more entries about you. Your physical description, personality, hobbies, interests, and moods all have their own extensive pages. When he can't be with you, he'll simply write or read about you. Dan Heng will find himself reading over your information if he can't go to sleep.
At this point, Dan Heng knows it is more than love. He knows he is obsessed with you. But he doesn't care all that much. He feels something, something that isn't cold. Something that feels good and warm in his heart, even if it is terribly wrong in his brain. He's given up on trying to suppress it. He simply can't, so Dan Heng embraces it. He embraces you. He loves you.
If you do end up loving Dan Heng as well, he will be overjoyed. You can't see it on his face, but the way his tail tightly coils around your waist tells you otherwise. He isn't too big on physical touch normally, but he will always have some kind of touch on you.
He'll get a bit overbearing. He doesn't want to see you hurt. It's dangerous trailblazing. Dan Heng needs you.
If you find out the extent of his love, he might finally lose the rest of his self-restraint. You'd probably run. He doesn't want that. He won't let that happen. You're his now.
Dan Heng gently ran his fingers through your hair, playing with it. You sat down in front of him with his tail securely wrapped around your waist. Your back snugly pressed against his chest. Both of you breathed slowly, enjoying the moment.
"Dan Heng?" You asked. He did not respond. He only continued to mess with your hair. You couldn't see his expression, how he looked at you with utter love in his eyes. He was thinking.
"Dan Heng..?" You question softly. This time, Dan Heng seems to have heard your words. His fingers stop for a moment as he blinks.
"Yes, what is it?" His fingers resume once he speaks. They softly pull through any tangles, Dan Heng paying extra attention to make sure he doesn't hurt you. His tail lightly twitched around your waist.
"I was thinking about going on the Luofu with March and..." You didn't get to finish your sentence as Dan Heng's grip on your hair tightened. It hurt a bit, as his fist pulled on your hair unknowingly. Dan Heng's voice came next.
"No," he said. Dan Heng's voice was far colder than it usually was. He sounded angry and disappointed and upset. It was impossible for you to turn to see his expression with his hand holding your head straight. Dan Heng repeated, "No. It's too dangerous. The.. Stellaron Hunters are there. He is there. If something happens to you, you will never be able to best him in a fight. You need to stay here, where it's safe. Besides, March and the others don't need you. They can do this alone."
Dan Heng's words came out harsher than he was meaning to, but he was too busy worrying about you to realize. He shuddered slightly, imagining what it would be like if you were Blade's next victim. It wasn't hard to figure out Dan Heng is attached to you, so perhaps he would go for you to get to Dan Heng. The thought sickened him. He never wanted to see you in pain like he had to be. Slowly, his grip loosened as he went back to playing with your hair.
However, you were also a bit uneasy. Dan Heng's tone was off, and he had been acting weird recently. You spoke after a few minutes of silence, "I'm feeling tired... I'm going to go to sleep in my room now, Heng."
"Hm," Dan Heng hums, "No. I think you will sleep in here from now on."
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NEUVILLETTE ★
Neuvillette also knows it's wrong. What he stays up at night thinking of is illegal. It goes against everything he does in life. Yet, he would never think it would feel so good.
Neuvillette has never been a selfish man. For hundreds of years, he upheld justice for others. He was always fair and righteous, even when it hurt. However, Neuvillette has never really wanted anything specific in the first place. Yes, he yearns to understand himself and others, but he has never felt that carnal desire to own something.
That is, until he met you of course. Suddenly, he felt something he'd never felt before. It was weird, bubbling in his chest sweetly. It made his heart ache with yearning. It almost felt a bit painful, but it was also so enjoyable. He wanted more of it.
You made him feel something he has yet to grasp. He may not understand emotions well, but he knows what certain ones are. But this, he does not know. You made Neuvillette feel something new. Something that made him feel a bit more alive. As if you were the purpose, the reason he was born.
Neuvillette tries to dismiss these thoughts, but it's hard. He must focus on his duties, but he often thinks of you in the moments between work. He knows it's wrong. But it doesn't feel bad. It feels good. So, is it really that wrong?
Neuvillette is still very busy, though. He will get the melusines to spy on you, which they happily accept. Neuvillette often tells them about you since he doesn't have anyone else he can tell. It's gotten to the point where alongside seeing Neuvillette as their father of sorts, they see you as a parent as well. Of course, they think, you must be the monsieur's spouse. They certainly have no issue with simply ensuring their 'parent's' safety, after all.
Neuvillette never corrects them. After all, it makes him feel warm inside. Marriage sounds nice. A legal contract, bounding you to each other forever. Suddenly, Neuvillette seems to pay more attention to marriage documents and trials related to it.
He will never say anything first. Ever. Even though Neuvillette wants you badly, he will not break his moral code and risk doing something irrational. He likely wouldn't either way, but he worries. Especially when it comes to you.
Neuvillette is very protective of you. He wasn't very big on touch, but now he likes to have some sort of contact with you. Holding your hand, arm, waist, finger, whatever it may be. It helps him make sure you're okay. It's been so long since he's felt affection like that, and he tries to get you to spoil him with it sometimes.
He loves it so much when you treat the melusines like they are your children. Maybe one day you can have children together. Whether it's biological or adoption, he doesn't care. Neuvillette wants to be with you however he can.
And once the prophecy kicks off entirely, you're never leaving his sight again. Even if you're not from Fontaine, there's still a risk and uncertainty. Neuvillette won't let you slip away. He can't. He'll pamper you, do whatever you ask of him (besides letting you go), but he just needs you to stay where he knows you're safe.
If you try to leave, then good luck. It'll be raining. Hard. You can barely even walk without getting soaked. It's never been this bad in Fontaine before.. but as soon as Neuvillette sees you again, it's unbearably sunny. The weather is quite extreme.
You're his mate after all. Why are you even trying to leave him, if you are? This is your home now. Neuvillette sighs, perhaps you're just nervous. It's okay, though. He figures you need to adjust.
He won't care if you find out how much he loves you. Why does it matter? Of course, he loves his mate.
"I forbid you," Neuvillette stares you down, "My dear, please, come back over here. I'd hate to request a guard to block the door."
You stop in your tracks, not doubting Neuvillette's words. You could feel his gaze burning into your skull. It scared you. He was incredibly powerful, and it would be best to comply with him, no?
You turned around. He smiled gently, "Good. Now come, sit back down, mon ange (my angel)."
You listen to him, slowly walking back towards him. You sit on the couch next to his desk before he sighs. The rain gets a bit harder.
"You know that's not your seat," he murmurs. And you know exactly what he means. Neuvillette waits for you to return to him, and sit on his lap—your seat. You do.
"There," Neuvillette breathes out on your neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face into your neck. The rain alleviates, slowing. You shake a bit in his grasp, either from his breathing or your possible fear.
"Shh.. it's okay, mon cœur (my heart), is it that you're cold..?" Neuvillette asks sweetly, before holding you tighter. "I'll warm you up, my love. Just stay with me.."
His hands begin to rub circles into your back as he flips you over. Neuvillette isn't manhandling you roughly, but he does it with such ease. It may not be purposeful, but it's a reminder of just how much stronger he is than you. After all, he is a dragon. He uses his glove hand to gently push you against his chest. Neuvillette effectively trapped you in his warm grasp.
"Neuvillette.." You say softly, "There is no need to hold me like a lifeline."
He smiles but doesn't loosen his grip. "I beg to differ. After all, I don't think I could live without you, so you are my lifeline, no? My lifeline and my mate.."
Neuvillette's voice is longing. You won't be able to get out of this any time soon. The rain disappears alongside your smile (or frown).
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eustasskidagenda · 1 year
Note
hello!! ^^ this is my first time requesting, so hopefully i'm doing this correctly :;
can I request a trafalgar law/reader hurt to comfort oneshot, where the two of them get into a really big argument or fight and reader decides to leave him alone for a long time, so THAT eventually leads to some problems between the two and Law has to make things right??
(basically reader gives law the silent treatment, and law is too prideful to admit his wrongs)
thank you in advance!!! I've really enjoyed reading your kid works, so i'd be happy to see more of your writing :)
☆Trafalgar Law x Reader giving him the silent treatment after an argument 
Hello dear anon, don't worry, you did it perfectly and thank you so much for your request. I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope it will match your expectation. Enjoy our dear emo boy!
CW : g/n reader, hurt&comfort, Law is bad at express how he feels, let me know if I forgot something
WC : around 2,000 words, whoops, I love Law way too much, I got carried away
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Law is not a man of many words. That's the less you can tell. Always quiet about his plans, sometimes, you still struggle to understand what's going on in this beautiful mind. Usually, you just deal with it, supporting him as much as you can. But today, it's too much to handle. He is perpetually busy all day and night, and sometimes the bed is cold, and you know he didn't sleep with you. It hurts. You just have the feeling to carry on with this relationship alone. 
"We need to talk, Law." Busy with probably another shenanigan you don't know about, he totally ignores you and continues to read his newspaper. Again. Heavy-hearted, you close your eyes and clench your firsts. You can't step back and always try to round the corners. "Law", you insist. He finally drops the newspaper. "What, y/n-ya?" He asks, annoyed by the interruption. 
"Honestly, lately… I feel totally sidelined. You're always focused on your plans I don't nothing about, or busy with your patients. And it hurts" Law looks surprised by your words. Usually, you're more the one trying to smooth the things and trying to be super-comprehensive, because you do love Law, and you know he had been through a lot. Supporting him is the least you can do. But what about you? Your emotions? 
"I've not neglected you, y/n-ya. I'm just busy." Yes. That's the whole point. "You're always busy. If you don't need me anymore, just say it," you snarls, anger slowly heating your chest and burning your cheeks. Communication is maybe the key, but it's a struggle to communicate with someone as reserved as Law. The worst? You know he loves you. He's just… an aloof. Always distrustful. "Answer me," your voice is shaky from both anger and distress. " I have things to do, y/n-ya. Don't act like a child. I still feel the same way about you, and you know. " 
Maybe it's true, but you don't believe him anymore. You don't even remember the last time you kissed that sweet lips on him. And the feeling of his fingers entwined with yours, when you redraw the lines of his tattoos, cuddling with him in bed. How can you feel the absence of someone you see every day? "I miss you," you confess. "But I'm right here. With you. I need to get those things done, so please be patient." Why can't he understand? With that unreadable face, he's still sitting on his chair. What's going on his mind? "What things, then?" He sighs. "I can't tell." 
No. It's enough. Now, you're mad. "Stop pushing me away! I miss you. Do you realize the absurdity of missing someone I can see every day? It's been four days since we last slept together! This morning, you didn't kiss me! You're always taking me for granted and I feel like I'm transparent!" At last, you manage to get a response from him. He removes his hat, runs his hand through his hair, and his eyes darken as your anger is about to explode. "Can you not be patient? I need to… finish what I'm working on. "
No.
Not this time.
He has already stated that too many times before. Before Dressrosa. Before Wano. You already waited way too long. Even for someone as patient as you, it's too much. " I'm tired," you confess, the voice which with emotions. "It can't keep going like this. Why am I always the second choice for you?"
Maybe it's because you always give everything you have to him. Supporting him, regardless of what. You had to break his armor several times to get closer to him, despite his distant and detached personality. The moment he finally confessed about his past was beautiful. The nights you spend together, simply talking about your lives, goals, and dreams, are rooted in your heart. A warm memory of two souls bonding and finding comfort through words and confession. Now, everything is just fading away. And you hate how angry and confused you sound, when Law is just as calm as always. Does he even notice what you just said? You can't tell.
"You don't even answer me. Such a shame to be named heart pirates when you don't even have one." you explodes, shouting the words.
"I don’t think it's the right time to talk about this because you're too emotional y/n-ya. "
"And you're too logical!"
The saying goes that opposites attract, but you're not so certain anymore. 
"I'm just so fucking done!" Now, you're screaming and Law growls, "Shh, don't yell, everyone will hear us," he says, caring way too much about his privacy. "I don't care! Just say something! " He looks so tired, with his usual dark rings under his eyes. "Leave me or not, but do something because I'm so done with this shit. I'm the only one trying to communicate and make things right!"
You slam the door of his small office with anger and tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. He doesn't follow you. He remains confined, choking on his own pride. He probably thinks you will be back soon, as always after an argument. But not this time. You're really done. It's his time to make some efforts, to prove that he actually cares about you and your relationship. 
At the diner, he doesn't show up. During the night either. It's not easy to distance yourself from him. But you will not change your mind. After three days, he finally starts to realize that you will not come after him. 
Why aren't you bringing him his morning coffee, massaging his tensed shoulders, and spreading your stupid concealer under his eyes? All those small actions you always do to lighten his burden as a captain… damn, he never felt that lonely. But what can he do now? How can he fix the mess he made?
The Polar Tang's ambiance is as cold as a winter island after a week. Everybody noticed the huge tensions between you and the Law. The captain is irritable, barking orders at everyone and looking for you everywhere, but you're just hiding from him. He's exhausted by this situation. He's starting to understand what you said: he misses you, even if you're here. 
It's becoming too much for his tortured soul after 10 straight days. The pain in his heart is unbearable. In reality, he feels like a child he never had the chance to be: terrified, lost and alone. Are you going to leave him too? Why is everyone around him always dying or disappearing? Is it always his fault? Now, he feels miserable, almost crying alone in his office. He can't even focus when Bepo asks him to bandage a small wound he just made. His hair is messy because he runs his hands through it too much. Law sighs heavily. His nerves completely fading away as he struggles to bandage Bepo. Why the hell is he crying over a poor bandage? 
He's exhausted. Physically and mentally. An he misses you. Deeply. He understands everything you said that day. He understands how you have felt lately and it's a horrible sensation. You didn't deserve the way he pushed you away from everything. He misses the warmth of your body, the passion in your sweet kisses, and your hands redrawing his chest tattoo. 
He needs to make things right. 
In this situation, what Corazon would have done? 
Probably running after you after slamming the door, falling miserably on the ground, and crying pathetically with an ugly nose running. Law frowns. But at this point, he's so desperate that he wouldn't mind crawling and begging for your forgiveness. He stumbles out of his office, tired, and looks for you. How can you hide on such a small ship? "Have you seen y/n?" He asks to everyone and they all they say no. Are they lying? Where have you gone? Did something happen to you? Poor Law is so stressed right now, more than usual. He spent the entire day looking for you and failed. Is it too late? Have you just left? Without a goodbye? No. It can't be. He needs to see, kiss, and hug you. Just one more time, just one last time. Even if feels that he doesn't deserve you. 
He slams the door of the bedroom you used to share with brutal force. As he takes off his hat before laying on the mattress, he sighs and an idea crosses his mind. But he's afraid. Because if his plan is not working, it will mean you have already left the Polar Tang. For good. Hands shaking, he finally moves his fingers and mutters, 'room, shambles'. Your plushie disappears as you suddenly pop on the bed. 
Oh, thank god, you didn't leave. "Y/n-ya" he whispers, his voice thick with emotions. 
Your heart is pounding as you remain silent. Ten days. Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin helped you hide from Law for ten days straight. Giving him the silent treatment was a difficult choice and all you can hope for is that it actually worked. "I'm not a man of many words," he confesses. "But I do love you. I'm sorry for always pushing you away, please forgive me. It's just that... I need to keep you out of trouble. If you don't know my current plan for now, it's safer. " For someone as quiet as him, he's talking a lot. But still not enough."I think I've taken you for granted, but I want to be there for you. Please, let me stay by your side. Don't leave me, please." He almost begs, his voice thick with emotions. 
His gentle touch on your cheek almost melts you.  You missed those beautiful, smooth hands on your face. You get closer, enjoying the warm heat heating up your chest. "You're so beautiful", he whispers. He looks so genuinely innocent, discovering again all the small details of your face. What has he done to be so fortunate in love? Does he only deserve you? You can tell that he's not even sure as he waits for your answer, trying to hide the slight shaking in his movements. 
"I love you, Law." You gently assure him by kissing the tattoos on his fingers. As the solace embraces his heart, Law is melting inside.
He didn't lose you. It's not too late. "I know you're not good at words, so I won't ask for much. What you just said is already perfect. Thank you for confessing to me. I know it's hard for you to open up." you reassure him. "What should I do, y/n-ya? How can I show you that I care about you? I won't repeat this situation twice." His eyes are now shining with pure determination. "Just the small things you used to do before. Sleeping with me, giving me a hello and a goodnight kiss... you remember that? Our routines." Law nods, probably taking mental note. "I have to kiss you twenty times." You raise an eyebrow confusedly. "Why?" 
He shrugs. "It's been ten days since I last saw you. And I'm supposed to kiss you all mornings and evenings." He's so serious right now, you can't help but burst out laughing. He's not joking at all. God, you love this nerd so much. The confusion on his face is even more hilarious. " I love you," you sigh between two laughs. "Why are you laughing? Am I wrong?" That man is so smart, cold and logical, but with love… he's just a mess. A beautiful mess. The one you will always love and cherish. "You're so adorable."
And now, he's blushing. How dare you call him adorable? "Just come here," he sighs, grabs your hips, and sits you on his laps. His lips are sealed to yours, and he kisses you. Twenty times. And he's counting. Every kiss is filled with passion, love, unspoken emotions, and sweet promises. 
And, as always when you're together in the same bed, you end up redrawing the tattoos on his chest. As you gently caress his skin, he falls asleep, the tension finally leaving his face. You cradle your head against his chest. His heart is slowly beating, and he looks so calm right now. 
You are here with him, and his tortured mind can finally get some sleep.
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lovebugism · 6 months
Note
i have a lot of nightmares and shake a lot when nervous. could u maybe write something abt a reader that goes through similar issues, and eddie comforts them and tries to make them feel safe? u can do whatever u like with this, i just need some fluff! :]
as someone who also has frequent nightmares, this was very self-indulgent heheh i hope you like it :D — eddie calms you down when you have a bad dream (hurt/comfort, established relationship, cw for mentions of panic attacks, 1.2k)
Eddie didn’t know he loved you until now. Like, right now.
He’d always had an inkling, at the very least, but he didn’t know for sure until he got you into his bed — bare-faced and swallowed whole in an oversized t-shirt older than you are. You share a single pillow with him despite having your own, leaving your noses mere inches apart. His tired eyes go a bit cross-eyed when he looks at you.
Despite his heavy head and heavier eyelids, he doesn’t want to stop looking at you. He doesn’t want to stop talking to you, either. He doesn’t want to fall asleep at all ‘cause he’s scared he’ll miss you too much. 
And that’s when he realizes that he’s head over heels, completely, utterly, and hopelessly in love with you.
“You asleep yet?” he whispers into the dark bedroom, lit only by the streams of silver moonlight slipping through the curtains.
You shake your head against the pillow you share with him. “No,” you mumble — voice thick with exhaustion, eyes fluttered shut.
“Good,” Eddie replies, shifting on the mattress until he melts further into it. Your cold feet entwine with his warmer ones. He exhales a contented sigh through his nose. “Me neither…”
You can’t be entirely sure who dozed off first, but you know for certain you wake up before he does. 
3:47 A.M. blinks at you in bright red numbers on the nightstand. The witching hour greets you along with a rapidly beating heart, thrumming hard against your ribcage like it’s trying to escape from its confines.
The nightmare was a vivid one when it painted the backs of your eyelids, but you can’t really remember it now. You think that might be worse. Now you don’t know why you’re so scared — you just know that you are.
Fear, that’s all you can think about now, as your body trembles with a heavy, ice-cold feeling. Fear. Panic. Dread. 
The nightmare fades. Eddie’s body, warm and comforting next to yours, becomes a much more tangible thing. But you just can’t shake the feeling it left behind. The bad dream clings to you like smoke and swallows you whole before you can blink.
You shake with the longing to hold the boy beside you. If only you could clutch onto Eddie like a life vest, or a life-sized teddy bear, maybe then you could soothe your racing heart. But you know you don’t want to wake him, just like you know you don’t want him to see you like this — so torn up over a stupid bad dream.
You sit on the edge of the mattress and try to calm yourself down. The attempt is futile. You end up with a tight chest, a pounding heart, and two cheeks damp with fat tears. 
After no longer than five minutes of trying to stave off a panic attack by yourself, do you notice the bed shifting behind you. A wide palm smooths over your trembling shoulders a second later.
Eddie squints at your shivering silhouette, trying to see you better through the darkness and bleary haze of sleep. He finds you slouched over and clawing at your chest like something’s wrong. Your choked-back sobs and quiet sniffles aren’t any less concerning.
“You okay?” the boy slurs as he sits up behind you.
“‘M sorry,” you blurt, voice wet with emotion. You don’t know exactly what you’re apologizing for. You just feel like you should. Through hitched breaths, you manage out, “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to wake you— I’m sorry.”
Eddie shakes his wild head in response. The mattress squeaks under his weight as he shifts closer to you. “It’s okay. I woke up on my own,” he tells you, even though that’s not exactly the truth. “What happened, huh? Are you okay?”
You sniffle and try to respond through feeble gulps of air. “It was just a bad dream. I’m okay—” you blubber through tears, breath catching halfway through.
With his palm pressed to your spine, Eddie can feel each of your rattling breaths as you fight to drag them in. It makes his own chest ache. Your panic is his own.
“Breathe, baby, c’mon,” he urges gently as he slips in beside you. With one hand over your trembling shoulder, he slides his other over your heart. The delicate organ patters with an inhuman vigor against his palm. 
“Gotta calm down, sweetheart,” he murmurs against your temple before pressing a kiss there. “‘Fore you heart explodes on me. Breathe, babe. You’re okay.”
Your swelling throat tightens. “I don’t feel good,” you confess through tiny whimpers, ‘cause you don’t know how else to tell him it feels like you’re dying. You put a cold, trembling hand over one of Eddie’s — the one gently cradling your heart — and fight to stay grounded.
The boy’s brows pinch with concern. “Do you feel like you’re gonna be sick?”
You think for a moment. Then shake your head.
Eddie rubs a hand up and down the length of your back. “You’re doing good, babe. Just keep breathing for me. That’s it.”
He pulls you closer, embracing you despite the awkward angle. Your shoulder presses into his chest as your head nestles between his jaw and shoulder. You rest there until it no longer feels like you’re fighting for each breath. Until your ragged sobs turn into mousy sniffles.
The first thing you think to do after you’ve calmed is apologize.
“‘M sorry,” you murmur, thick with leftover emotion.
You feel his head shake against you, untamed curls tickling your skin. “Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”
You snivel. “I feel like such a baby…”
“Everyone has bad dreams, babe. That’s life,” Eddie tells you with a lighthearted laugh. “I can’t count how many times I’ve slept on the couch after having one just so I could be closer to Wayne. Like, that’s embarrassing.”
“No, it isn’t,” you argue with a scrunched nose, cracking a small (but no less sincere) grin.
Eddie smiles at your smiling. He squeezes your shoulder with a gentle hand. “Wanna talk about it?” he offers, watching as you visibly ponder the question. You shake your head in response. He nods in understanding. “Wanna go back to sleep?”
You shake your head again, much less hesitant this time. You’re too scared to shut your eyes for longer than a blink now — lest the nightmare threaten to plague your mind again.
“Wanna sit in the kitchen with me while I make us some hot cocoa?” Eddie offers then.
You nod slowly, pursing your lips to the side of your mouth to hide the smile pulling there. You can’t help but beam, though, when he smacks a kiss to the warm apple of your cheek.
“C’mon, sweet thing,” he urges as he rises from the bed, pulling you gently with him. He guides you out of his bedroom with a warm hand cradling your smaller one. The quiet trailer fills with the sounds of creaking floorboards, bare feet shuffling against carpet, and Eddie’s tender voice.
“I’ll even pick out marshmallows from the Lucky Charms box to put in your cocoa—” he says before a yawn cuts him off. “—‘Cause that’s how much I love you.”
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idanceuntilidie · 10 months
Note
What about yandere prince over his favorite knight? Male reader ofc :)
I am done I deserve mac n cheese and almonds
Hope this was okay.
Yandere Prince x male reader
tw: yandere themes and being held against will
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You were assigned to prince Charlie since you were little, so naturally you were very protective of him.
You two shared a very special bond of course, two best friends since childhood.
But for prince Charlie, it was oh, so much more. At first he didn’t understand it, you were there more often than not.
He remembers how often you clinged to him when you two were younger. You were supposed to be the one protecting him, he didn’t mind that.
As you two grew older, you got braver and stronger. You even spend less time with him. He noticed something was wrong with him.
An unknown feeling blossomed in his chest.
And you made it so much stronger.
It’s not really like you did anything special, you just,
existed.
He started to appreciate your existence more. How when you smiled your cheeks were dusted by pinkish colour and your eyes twinkled with such a happy flame.
How you wielded your sword and how brave you were.
He watched you, heart longing for you. For your little touches, your laughs.
Oh how he wishes you two were kids again, he would protect you from danger and you would cling to him and never let go.
You were so far away but at the same time so close. After a while, just watching wasn’t enough, he needed you back and he would do everything to make it happen.
You noticed a slight change in your environment.
It started small, maids, servants and other knights started to ignore you. They shook when they saw you and ran away.
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You weren’t a violent person, so you didn’t understand what was wrong.
It hurt slightly, but you can’t just go around crying. You were a royal knight after all.
Then Prince Charlie requested you must be near him at all times, you expected that since you were his personal knight,
no more strolls through the castle and gardens. No more training. You can’t leave him, not even to eat or sleep.
You feared the last one. You feared you might grow weak, but you can’t let your prince that so you stayed silent.
You didn’t dare to eat, drink or sleep in his presence, much to his dismay. You thought it was disrespectful to even do these things in his presence, EVEN if you two knew each other all your lives.
After some time your body could in fact, not take it anymore so you fainted.
You woke up not long after, laying on the comfiest bed you had ever felt. Stripped from your armour and chained to the bed. Your first thought was that someone broke in and hurt your prince, naturally, you began to struggle. Your body was weak due to the lack of food or sleep.
You didn’t notice your Prince walking cheerfully through the door.
“Oh you are up, how wonderful”
He chirped happily. Your tired eyes followed his figure.
“Your.. highness? What is the meaning of this?”
You asked, voice raspy. Swallowing hurt so much.
“Oh you had fainted my dear knight”
he hummed as he placed something on the table. You tried to move your arms, you felt weak. Chains only rattled quietly because of your movement, it caught Charlies attention.
“Don’t you dare to move y/n”
“Just, just take me to the doctor I will be fine in few days and-“
His pale face turned cherry red in anger.
“No! You are only allowed to see me, only me! I AM taking care of you now!”
His voice boomed loudly in your ears. You winced.
He turned away from you, trying to calm down, then took something from the table, a plate. Charlie walked to the bed, and placed the plate on a nightstand, so he could uncuff your hands.
Your body felt weak, you let him sit you up.
“Now, let me feed you yeah? You must be oh so hungry, and then we can spend some time together.”
he smiled, you were too weak to argue so he took your silence as an agreement. You prayed silently that this was just a dream.
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catcze · 6 months
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Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!
[ ###… ] modern AU, rockstar Wriothesley, gn reader, est. relationship, a lil bit of hurt/comfort, fluff, long-distance pining, lovesick & homesick wrio, kinda cheesy which is kind of on brand for me lol
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By the time Wriothesley manages to get back to his hotel room and check his phone, he's pretty sure you're asleep. He hopes you are, knowing how late it must be on your end.
It's no surprise that there are several messages waiting for him— each day you've been apart, you give him something sweet to read in the evenings after a busy day of promos or after a hectic show. Something to make the distance between you seem a little less vast, to let him know that you're still thinking about him.
Even on days where he's dead tired, he'll always read them. Always let you know that he thinks of you, too.
What does surprise him is the newest text, sent at just over twenty minutes ago. Wriothesley frowns as he wonders why you're still up, and his heart only drops more when he scrolls through the messages and reads the latest thing you sent.
I miss you. I really, really miss you.
Before he can even hope that he's not bothering you, his finger near slams on the call button. You answer on the second ring, voice lacking the raspiness of a roused sleep. It makes him sigh with relief.
"Wrio?" you ask, surprised. "Are you okay? What's up?"
"I should be asking you that." Wriothesley sits heavily on the plush bed, flopping back against the pillows with all the grace of a man who just gave a two-hour performance.
As luxurious as the king-sized bed is, with its soft sheets and myriad of immaculately fluffed pillows, he can't help but yearn for the warm familiarity of your own bed and your well-loved blankets.
"Why're you still up, honey? Don't you have breakfast with your friends tomorrow?"
"...can't sleep," you murmur after a beat, voice so quiet. He hears sheets rustling, then silence again. You hesitate. "I... it might sound selfish but I miss you being here with me. It sucks that the bed feels so empty without you."
And oh, if he could, Wriothesley would crawl through the phone right this very second and wrap you in his arms— would crush you to his chest and hold you tight as he listens to your breath taper off into sleep. Would keep you against him, wrapped up in his love and adoration, until you practically have to beat him off of you with a stick.
But he can't and it's killing him.
"It's not selfish. I miss you too," he says, voice longing. "I want to go home to you so bad, sweetheart, you have no idea. Wish I could've packed you up in my bag and smuggled you here with me." He has to fight sleepy giggles at the thought.
"Speaking of— you better be prepared for a crapload of gifts when I get back. I've got a whole suitcase of stuff I thought you'd like."
You gasp, and even sounding a little crackly from the speakers, his heart does a flip. "A whole suitcase?! I wouldn't even know where to put all that!"
"We'll find space. 'm pretty sure there's some stuff we can jigsaw around." Wriothesley tries to keep the tiredness from his voice, tries to fight back the yawn. It's been so long since you've called, what with timezones and schedules getting in the way, and he wants to talk to you longer— ask how your day's been, what your plans are for the rest of the week, if there were any places you want to visit when he gets home. This call is much too short for all the things he wants to say, for all the hours he wants to spend listening to you talk.
But try as he might, you can tell he's close to knocking out without even having to lay an eye on him.
"You should sleep," you tell him, voice soothing him like a balm. "You're probably tired after your show. I saw a few videos, you know— you were so cool. I'm proud of you, Wrio."
He hums, basking in your praise. His eyelids are already growing heavy, the soft siren's song of sleep growing harder to resist. If he closes his eyes, maybe he can imagine that you're just down the hall, busy with something. You'll come in any second now, crawl into bed and slip into his arms, and everything would be right with the world.
"Thank you for... for calling. For checking up on me just because of a text." You giggle at that last bit, and (as it always seems to do) his heart flips. "I love you lots."
"Mm, no need to thank me. Just gimme lots of kisses when I get home." His tongue is growing heavier, sleep more inviting. But he manages to get one last thing out— "I love you lots, too."
Right before Wriothesley lets himself drop, you press a loud, exaggerated kiss to the receiver of your phone. He smiles.
That's how you both fall asleep: with both phones still on the line, even breaths and quiet snores comforting the other into a restful slumber.
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zchl · 6 months
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⌦ PRETTY BOY ✿﹐ #P.JS 🎀
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pairing ﹒park jisung x fem read genre ﹒fluff , established relationship , cutesy things warnings ﹒jisung’s a tad insecure
⊹ when jisung gets sad over his acne and you catch him trying to figure out your skincare products.
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✶ 1O:2Opm ▹﹒🎧
you enter the dorm you and your boyfriend shared. you’ve just gotten done with your exams, feeling tired and in need of your boyfriends presence you called out for him, “ji baby, where are you?” he would usually be sitting in the living room waiting for you by this time, or maybe sleeping since it was late. while looking around you hear a loud thud from the bathroom and what sounds like a squeal. you quickly make your way over to jisung’s bathroom. you try to open the door but to your surprise it’s locked.
“jisung? are you in here?” you knocked lightly on the door, you hear rustling come from inside before he responds quietly, “yeah i am..” you frown slightly wondering why he’s locking himself up in the bathroom. “why’s the door locked? can you open up, pleasee?” still holding onto the door knob. “uh,,,no! no. not yet! let me finish..” you raise an eyebrow in confusion. you could basically hear the sad look on his face. “jisung baby, let me in please.” you plead once more. it takes a few more pleases for you to hear the door unlock from the inside.
you open up the door slowly to reveal your tall boyfriend sitting on the toilet with your moisturizer pads sitting on his face. your serums, toners and lotions sitting on the counter. you look back at him, your face softening once you see why he wanted you out. “don’t laugh.” he pouts, his face flushed a soft pink. you can’t help but smile at him as you crouch in front of him.
“it’s not funny!” the whines leaving his mouth were making you feel even more giggly. “ji baby, i’m not making fun of you.” you grin, placing your hands on his knees. “wanna tell me what you’re doing with my skincare?” he looks away from you, head tilted down. “not really, it’s embarrassing…” you get up and go to check the products he was using. you chuckle to yourself when you see the mixture of different skincare products. “jisung, you know if you wanted to play with my stuff you could’ve just asked.”
he quickly shakes his head, “i’m not, playing with your stuff i’m just..experimenting.” he deeply sighs taking off the pads from his face and rubbing the moisture off his skin with the back of his hand. “i just thought that if i could find something that would get rid of my acne…i would be prettier for you.” your eyes widen, lips forming into a frown. “baby what do you mean, prettier for me?..” your heart hurts for him, you truly hoped he didn’t think you found him unattractive because of his acne.
you grab his hands as you hover over his seated body, “jijj, you’re soso pretty to me.” you reassure him rubbing small circles on his hand. “your acne doesn’t make me think that you’re less pretty than i always have.” you lift one hand to his cheek, rubbing his skin softly. “your skin is perfect, imperfections and all. i’ll always think you’re pretty.”
jisung’s eyes light up hearing your words, his mood changes instantly from one of sadness to happiness. “you mean it?..you’re not teasing me right?” he asks, grabbing your hand in his big cold hands, pressing it against his cheek more. “i mean it ji, i’d never lie to you about something like this.” you smile, “now get up, i’ll do your skincare if you’d like…but with the proper products.” you remark teasingly. he rolls his eyes in response but widely smiles afterwords getting up and holding your hands. you gather your skincare products that you think would fit his skin. while doing so you hear him mumble something under his breath,
“yn..”
“huh? what is it ji?”
“you think i’m pretty?”
your words had finally came to sense in his mind, the smile plastered across his face was something you wish you saw more on him.
“yes jisung, i think you are so pretty.
my pretty boy.”
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written by @zchl on tumblr! give credits if reposting to other platforms. :)
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dixons-sunshine · 7 months
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Ok ok ok ok-
I've been struck with a three am idea that I cannot shake so pretty pretty please if your not busy may I request it?
It would be a Daryl x Reader were they are parents of their newborn? Probably set in Alexandria... The baby is up crying and Reader who is very sleep deprived is trying to calm the baby down but nothing is working, and at this point Reader hasn't had a solid nights sleep in a few days? Like, maybe Reader is struggling to put the baby to sleep and the crying starts to get to them and they start crying too? (Not like full on sobs but tears bc their emotional state is damaged from lack of sleep) And Daryl wakes up and helps reader? Like, tucks reader in before taking care of their newborn?
I just can't shake Daryl as a dad he woud try to be the best dad ever just bc he would be so scared to end up like his 'father' 🥺
Please and thank you very much and take care!!
Sleepy Time | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
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*GIF isn't mine.*
Summary: Life with a newborn wasn't easy. All of your attention had to go towards the bundle of life you brought into the world, which left you with little time to take care of yourself and even less time to get some much needed sleep. One night, while taking care of your and Daryl's baby girl, the lack of sleep caught up with you and emotions started to bubble over. Luckily, Daryl was there to take care of both you and the baby—the two most important people in his life.
Genre: Fluff, some angst.
Era: Alexandria, post Saviour war, pre the building of the bridge.
Warnings: Sleep deprivation, self deprecating thoughts, feelings of worthlessness, mentions of Daryl's father and his past abuse.
Word count: 1.9k
A/n: I'm sick at the moment and have no energy to write much, but this request was way too cute to not get done ASAP. I've been wanting to write something about Daddy!Daryl for a while now so this request is a godsend. Thank you so much for it! I hope you like this. And to the people who requested the Daryl x Espinosa!Reader and falling for the new girl requests, please know that they're being worked on. I don't know exactly when they'll be out, but they will be, I promise!
As always, my requests are open for any TWD requests.
(I gave the baby a name in this, but feel free to imagine any name you want.)
The moon was shining brightly outside the home you shared with Daryl. The stars were twinkling in the sky and the crickets were chirping. It was a peaceful night and everyone in the community was sleeping soundly.
Everyone but you.
“Shh, sweetheart. It's okay. Mommy's here.”
Despite your reassuring words, your baby girl, Hazel, kept on crying. Her cheeks were red from the tears she shed and her eyes were shut tightly. The sight of your baby in such a state made your heart ache in a way that it has never hurt before.
Nothing you tried could soothe Hazel of her crying. She refused to breastfeed or take her bottle, and her diaper didn't need changing. She didn't appear to be sick and there was nothing that could be hurting her physically, so you were at a lost for what could be troubling her so much. She just kept on crying.
You gently bounced her while rubbing her small back, praying to whatever was out there that you would figure out what was wrong with her. You hated the fact that you couldn't soothe her, feeling useless as she continued to wail. Her cries echoed off the walls of the nursery, the sound deafening.
You hummed a lullaby to her, a last resort in hopes of calming her down. You could feel a lump form in your throat as unwanted tears started to fill your eyes. The lullaby you were humming started sounding choked up as your throat started constricting, trying to withhold the sobs that were busy building up in your chest.
The lack of sleep was busy catching up with you. Not once did you regret your baby girl—Hazel was the physical embodiment of the love you shared with Daryl and you'd die for her—but you desperately needed a full night's sleep. You were barely functioning and that was a problem. How could you take care of your daughter when you could barely take care of yourself?
The sound of the nursery door opening instantly caught your attention, your senses on high alert. You spun around and locked eyes with the love of your life, the familiar blues of his eyes calming you down slightly. The calm you felt was short-lived, however, when Hazel's cries got louder due to the fact that you weren't humming to her anymore.
Daryl furrowed his eyebrows and shut the door, quietly moving to stand beside you. Even in the darkness of the room, he could clearly see the glisten of the tears in your eyes. His heart ached for you, and if it weren't for the fact that you were cradling Hazel, he would've pulled you into a tight hug.
“Wha's wrong?” he asked quietly, putting a hand on your shoulder in the hopes of bringing you some comfort.
You sniffled and willed the tears away, hating the fact that Daryl had to see you in that state. “I don't know,” you replied honestly, gently rocking your baby back and forth. Hazel's cries started to die down a bit, and you were grateful for it. “She won't drink and she doesn't need changing, and she doesn't appear to be sick. She just won't stop crying.”
Daryl's heart broke at the crack in your voice. He wrapped one of his arms around you and brought you into a side hug, placing a kiss on your forehead. “S'alrigh'. We'll figure it out. She'll be okay.”
You sniffled again and nodded, leaning your head against his shoulder. Daryl pressed another kiss to your forehead before motioning for you to hand Hazel over to him. You obliged and carefully transfered her into his arms, your heart swelling at the sight of the father of your daughter, who was a big, burly man, carefully and gently cradling such a small human to his chest. You smiled through your tears, a sense of happiness filling you, even though you were feeling worn down and useless a few moments prior.
A small smile spread across Daryl's face as he gazed down at his baby girl. Hazel's cries had disappeared, small sniffles and the redness of her cheeks the only signs that she had been crying at all. Daryl brought his hand up to gently caress her face, before he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against her small forehead.
You smiled at the sight before you, but you couldn't help the feeling of failure that spread through you. You had been up for over an hour trying to soothe her and hadn't succeeded, but then Daryl came in and calmed her down in a matter of seconds. You were grateful for him and the fact that he had managed to let her cries subside, but you couldn't help feeling defeated.
Daryl gently rocked Hazel from side to side before looking up at you. He could immediately see the pained yet immensely tired expression on your face, and he frowned. He didn't know exactly what was going through your head at that moment, but he had a pretty good idea. After he was sure that Hazel's crying had stopped completely for the time being, he grabbed the pacifier from the dresser and popped it into her mouth before gently placing her down in her crib.
Daryl turned to you and offered his hand. “C'mon,” he said simply.
Confused, you grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull you out of the nursery and back into your shared room right across the hall. He tugged you over to the bed and silently urged you to lie down, which you did. Once you were comfortable, he pulled the covers over you and sat down on the edge of the bed next to you.
“Ya okay?” he asked in concern, his voice quiet as he studied your face.
You nodded hesitantly. “I'm fine,” you lied, and Daryl could tell instantly.
“Yer not fine. Wha's up?” he urged softly, leaning forward to brush the hair away from your eyes.
You inhaled sharply, debating whether or not to tell him what you were feeling. In the end, the need to get everything off of your chest overpowered, and you cleared your throat, trying not to tear up again.
“Am I a bad mom?”
That surprised Daryl. He instantly shook his head in denial, taking one of your hands in his. “Nah, course not. Why would ya even think tha'?”
“It's just... I try so hard to be a good mom but I can't even soothe my own daughter when she cries. Nothing I tried worked. She wouldn't stop crying, yet you managed to calm her down in a matter of seconds. If I can't even comfort my own daughter, what type of mom does that make me?”
Daryl sighed softly. He rubbed his thumb over your knuckles soothingly. “Yer not a bad mom. Sometimes babies cry and there ain't nothin' we can do 'bout it. Remember back at the prison when Little Asskicker wouldn't stop crying? It took Rick over an hour to get her to calm down. Would ya say tha' Rick's a bad dad jus' 'cause he couldn't instantly figure out wha' he needed to do to calm her?”
You shook your head. “No.”
“Then stop callin' yerself a bad mom. Yer not. There's gonna be days when Hazel will want ya instead of me, and vice versa. It ain't gonna mean tha' one of us is the better or preferred parent 'cause of it.”
You let out a shaky breath, feeling yourself want to cry all over again, but this time in relief. However, you withheld the urge and instead settled on giving him a small smile, squeezing his hand.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your eyes starting to feel heavier. You let out a small yawn, making Daryl chuckle fondly.
“Get some sleep, 'kay? Ya will feel a lot better in the mornin',” he instructed, leaning forward to place a feathery light kiss on your forehead.
“What about Hazel?” you asked after hearing her start to get fussy again over the baby monitor Daryl had found on a scavenging trip.
“Dun' worry 'bout her. I've got it. Ya jus' get some sleep, 'kay?” he assured you, getting up from the bed to head out to the nursery.
“Okay,” you finally agreed, nodding your head. However, before Daryl could leave, you called out to him.
Daryl turned around and looked at you. “Yeah?”
“I love you.”
Daryl smiled softly, his heart fluttering in his chest. “I love ya too.”
With that, he closed the door behind him and made his way over to the nursery. Once inside, he turned on the little nightlight that Michonne had gifted to you when Hazel was born, walking over to the crib to pick her up. Cradling her to his chest, he walked over to the dresser to grab the still full bottle before making his way over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room.
Daryl sat down and brought the bottle to her mouth. This time, instead of refusing it, she eagerly opened her mouth and latched onto the bottle, starting to drain it of its contents. Daryl laughed at her eagerness, holding her gently against his chest as she drank.
“Delicious?” he asked rhetorically, knowing full well that she couldn't understand what he was saying. “Bet it is.”
Hazel simply kept drinking from the bottle, her hands clutching at Daryl's shirt. Daryl stared down at her fondly, wondering how one tiny human could be so perfect.
“Ya need to go easy on yer mama, y'know?” he started, gently rocking back and forth on the rocking chair. “She might seem like it, but she ain't a superhuman. She needs her sleep, too.”
Daryl paused for a moment, simply admiring his little girl for a moment before continuing. “Yer mama loves ya so much, though. And so do I. We won't let anythin' happen to ya, little one.”
Daryl fell silent after that. He simply took care of his daughter, wondering how he got so lucky. Not only did he have the most amazing wife who loved him unconditionally, but now he had a daughter who he would die to protect. He had a family, something he never would've thought could happen to him before the apocalypse.
Daryl looked up and at the door, envisioning you sleeping peacefully in the room across from him, sleep that you deserved, before looking down at Hazel again. As he stared down at the life he made with you, memories of his own father plagued his mind—memories of his abuse and loveless nature. How he never seemed to have any sort of patience when it regarded his own son, how any sort of crying was met with a physical blow to his face.
Daryl grimaced at the memories and shook his head, willing the memories to go away. He always wondered if his father's abusive ways would be passed down to him, but as he looked at Hazel in his arms, he realised that nothing would ever make him be like his father. He vowed to protect the life he had made with you, the embodiment of your shared love for one another. He vowed to himself that he would never stoop to the cruelty his father had bestowed on him. He would be there for both you and Hazel, through thick and thin, through happiness and heartbreak, for as long as death remained away from him.
He would love the both of you until the day that he let out his last breath.
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mrchiipchrome · 7 months
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Call Your Girlfriend
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W.C. - 2.2k
This is a prologue to ‘New Girlfriend’ but I might make another version of it to give this a different ending…
Also much love to Robyn who made my childhood and the song this is based on:)
—————————————————————
“Call your girlfriend, it’s time you had the talk.” The laughter died down just the moment before Olga utter the words Alexia dreads. She knew that what she was doing was wrong, that going out with another woman when you were at home waiting at home for her was cruel. Yet she still did it.
“What?” Alexia watches as the girl beside her rolls her eyes, bringing her lukewarm drink up to her lips to take a quick sip. It doesn’t soothe her dry throat, the saliva in Alexia’s mouth turning thick and making it hard for her to accentuate her words.
“Don’t play dumb with me Alexia, it doesn’t suit you.” Olga’s eyes soften when she notices Alexia’s almost crestfallen look, taking the Barcelona captain into her arms.
“I don’t think I’m ready.” Alexia mutters into the fabric of the other girl’s dress, the badly lit pub barely letting her see her ‘girlfriend’ much less the judgemental look she gets from the bartender every time she looks in their direction.
“I don’t want to be a secret anymore, I don’t want to sneak around like this. And it’s not fair to Y/n to keep this from her any longer, it’s only going to hurt her more if we wait.” Olga strokes the midfielder’s hair, speaking carefully so as to not make her girlfriend feel any worse by the situation.
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to tell her, ‘hey Y/n, I went behind your back and got into a relationship with another woman, hope you’re okay with that because there’s really not a lot you can do here, adios!’” Alexia is sarcastic when she replies to the woman currently holding her, running her hands over her face the moment Olga shifts her grip to settle on her arms instead of her back.
“No Alexia, just call her and say that you two need to talk, then just let your heart take over, she’s going to understand what you’re going through and accept it.” Olga reassures the footballer softly, trying to get her to understand that she couldn’t dictate what Alexia were to say to her official girlfriend.
“I don’t think that she’s just going to accept us and move on, I mean would you?” The deep breath that Olga lets out signals to Alexia that she knew exactly what it was she was doing, and that it wasn’t working.
“Alexia, just do it, you don’t have to do it out here, maybe go to the bathroom for some privacy.” The football player nods her head confidently, picking up her phone and walking towards the bathroom with sure steps. Alexia has to reassure herself that her hands were shaking solely because of the alcohol coursing through her veins, and not because she was going to tell you about her affair.
Dialing your number was something she could do in her sleep by now, the familiar 10 digit number engraved into her brain with how many times she had used it. Her nail makes a cracking noise when she chews on it, the loud tone her phone gives out as it waits for you to pick up the phone is slightly more anxiety inducing than the quiet atmosphere of the bathroom.
“Amor? Has something happened? Do I need to pick you up somewhere?” Your voice was full of sleep, a groan slipping past your lips as you stretch, the uncomfortable couch basically a substitute for your bed by now. You wanted to stay up and wait for her every time she went out, no matter if she told you not to.
“No, no you don’t have to pick me up anywhere, but uhhh…we need to talk.” Alexia’s eyes shift to look at the different things drawn on the walls of the stall, a couple of phone numbers and a few doodles of random animals. Anything not to look at her phone, that would be like looking straight into your eyes. She couldn’t do that, not whilst knowing that she had cheated on you both emotionally and physically.
“What do you want to talk about? What’s happening?” The blankets rustling and the creaking of the couch tells Alexia that you sat up, the worried tone in your voice something that she couldn’t avoid no matter what she did.
“Us, we need to talk about us. Something has happened, something that’s not your fault at all, not even in the slightest. I did something stupid.” You can tell whatever is about to come out of her mouth is going to break your heart the second her voice trembles, the way it shakes with uncertainty and guilt. You can almost see her, sitting in a bathroom cubicle in a random pub, biting her nails as she tries to get the words out.
“What, did you cheat on me or something?” Alexia’s heart nearly stops at your joking tone, she knew that you used humour to cope with the difficult feelings, a mask of comedy something you often hid behind to make it all feel easier.
At Alexia’s silence you understand exactly what she had done, and you can almost feel the way your heart breaks into a million pieces. For a few moments there’s only the silence, the tense, charged silence that makes Alexia want to turn her phone off and return back to her side piece’s comforting arms.
“I-uh I met someone, someone who understands me and loves me unconditionally, and uh someone who knows how I’m feeling without needing to ask. I don’t know how or why, but I fell for her. It had nothing to do with you, not at all.” As Alexia talks she hears the eerie silence coming from your end of the line. She exhaled loudly when she’s done, almost like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.
“Why? Why would you do something like that?” Suddenly Alexia hears how you sniffle, and she can’t help but feel like she’s going to cry too. A few silent tears slip down her cheeks, the salt leaving tracks down her beautiful face. Despite everything, you still think that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.
“Please don't get upset. Please don’t cry.” The words come out as a wayward whisper, Alexia’s voice not strong enough to carry like it usually does. The strong captain of your team was no longer there, in her place was a cheating excuse of a woman.
“What do you mean? Are you fucking kidding me Alexia? Do you actually expect me to not cry as you throw a three year fucking relationship away like it’s yesterday’s news? Did you actually ever love me or was that a lie too?” The sobs between the words you speak makes Alexia’s heart feel like it’s tightening in her chest, she never wanted to make you cry. The guilt of her affair was slowly creeping up on her, every tear down your face cutting off a piece of her heart that you held.
“Don’t second-guess all my actions from the past few years because they were all genuine, I have never said an I love you that I didn’t mean. Come on Y/n, you know me, I never meant to hurt you or anyone else for that matter.” The way Alexia speaks so matter-of-factly just serves to make your heart break that much more, by now it has to be in at least a billion pieces.
But you didn’t know her, the words she spoke weren’t true, because your Alexia, the Alexia you fell in love with would never do something like that. She would never seek out another woman for comfort, the thought would never even cross your girlfriend’s mind.
“Do I know you? You’re not the Alexia that I fell in love with, the Alexia that I fell in love with would never break my heart into a billion pieces.” Alexia knows she deserves every harsh thing that you say, every cold flash going down her arms, every salty tear touching her lips, every single little thing that happened. You can hear the way she sniffles from your side of the phone, rolling your eyes at the way she was crying because of something she did to herself.
“I cannot help how I feel Y/n, I can’t help that I fell in love with someone else. Olga just gives me something that I didn’t even know I missed, the way she kisses me is different, the way she looks at me is different, the way she loves me is different. And I know that none of this makes any sense to you right now, but I just want you to know that I’m still your friend.” Alexia chooses her words carefully, to not hurt you even more than she already had. She needed you to know that she was there for you even though she had caused your hurt in the first place.
“Oh so we’re only friends now? Is that what you told her when you were out sucking face?” The words felt weird when they came out of your mouth, like they were foreign, like they didn’t belong being thrown at the woman you loved.
“No.” You laugh at the simple response, your eyes red and your face full of tear tracks, new ones being created every second.
“So she knew that I was your girlfriend and she still chose to go after you? Did you ever even think about how much it would hurt me when you were out fucking her?” It felt like your heart would break out of your chest, the way it pounded against your rib cage like a jackhammer. All the times Alexia would go out, saying that it was some event or a gathering she needed to attend, flashed in front of your eyes, the sheer amount of times making the tears start to fall once again.
“I can’t answer that.” Alexia hears the way you sigh, quite obviously getting your answer in her inexpressive one. You try to wipe the tears that just keep on coming, not making much progress at all in trying to get the stains off your face.
“How do you expect me to get over this, get over you? You have my heart in the palm of your hand and there’s no way that I can change that, no matter how much I hate you.” Alexia feels even more guilty at your sobbed confession, the sincerity in your voice leaving no questions to be answered. You were so utterly in love with her that you thought it wouldn’t ever disappear.
“You’ll learn. You’ll learn how to mend your own heart, you’ll learn how to love someone else, you’ll learn how to get over this heartbreak.” She speaks softly, like Olga did earlier as she explains to you how to live without her, how to fall in love with someone that wasn’t her.
“What if I don’t want to learn, what if I only ever want you?” It was like you’d opened up your chest to her, laid your heart bare for her to do whatever she wanted to, for her to crush between her slender fingers, for her to rip apart with her nails. You were so vulnerable, so weak, so dismantled in front of her that Alexia was taken aback, words stolen directly from her mouth.
“Then you’ll lead a life of misery, and I don’t want that for you. Please, go find someone for yourself, someone who makes you as happy as I once made you.” With the last breath of love that she’d give you in your lifetime, Alexia hangs up the phone.
A mix of sorrow and relief courses through her body as she exits the bathroom, feeling like a completely new woman. The weight of your relationship is no longer there to tie her down, no longer did she have to sneak around because there wasn’t anyone to hide from anymore. She was finally content for the first time in a long while.
“How did it go?” Olga asks her, fingers digging into the midfielder’s waistband. Her worried tone made Alexia relax, knowing that she had someone to go home to. She didn’t even think about you not having the same luxury anymore.
“Good, she accepted it.” Olga smiles at her, that beautiful smile that had Alexia falling head over heels for her, that smile that robbed you of your relationship.
“Let’s go home.”
As Alexia and Olga laid together in bed that night, cuddling and speaking soft words into the night air, you were back home, at the apartment you once shared with the brunette, crying until it felt like you couldn’t cry anymore.
You wrapped your arms around your own midsection, pretending that someone, anyone was there to comfort you right in that moment.
It was in that feeling of loneliness and heartbreak that you decided to take her advice.
You were going to learn how to love again, no matter what it took.
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gtgbabie0 · 1 year
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A cold heart
{After distancing yourself from Cregan the truth finally comes out}
Hope you enjoy as always lovelies! 💕
CW// reader is pregnant
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Cregan grew up in the North, he became acclimatised to the cold weather as he grew, but yet he’s never felt so cold then he does right now in your shared bedchambers, despite the warmth of the fire. It’s a type of feeling that completely renders him numb. An aching feeling that sits heavy against his chest, it’s almost as if he can’t breathe.
He watches you climb into bed slipping underneath the many furs. His heart freezes as the realisation slowly sets in, he’s in for another night of silence, and like every other night for the past few weeks you’ll sleep as far away as possible, shrugging off his touch.
It's not that you didn't want him to touch you, quite the opposite actually. You just couldn't risk his wandering hands grazing against your tiny bump, you wouldn't let him find out, not that way.
He doesn’t think he can go another night of isolation. So he reaches out to you in hopes you’ll reopen your caged heart to him once again, just as you did all those moons ago when he confessed his feelings to you.
“Love, will you please tell me what’s bothering you? I can’t stand this silence” he says, a gentle hand against your shoulder and he winces when he feels you go rigid under his palm.
He retreats his hand not wanting to be the cause of your discomfort. You don’t look at him, far too afraid of the pain that will stain his face.
It’s not that you don’t want to tell him, in all honesty, you so desperately wanted to share the news, but you’ve heard so my awful stories from other ladies about their husbands seeking pleasure through other means, how they are completely abandoned by them simply because they were ‘undesirable’ it hurt to hear. You couldn’t imagine going through that.
So maybe that’s why you push Cregan away, because if you do it first it’ll hurt less when does inevitably happen.
“Nothing is wrong Cregan, I’m tired,” you say, wrapping your arms around yourself in search of comfort.
He likes to think that he is a calm man, never quick to anger but right now in this moment, anger is quick to warm his heart.
“Do not lie to me” he says, tone firm. You have only ever heard that when some lord made the mistake of insulting you in front of him, you remember thinking how you never wanted to be on the receiving end of that, yet here you are.
You sigh, biting back the tears that sting the back of your throat. “I just want to sleep Cregan” you whisper and he doesn’t miss the way your voice quivers.
You hear him let out a deep breath, then the bed shifts and he’s getting ready. The sudden change in the atmosphere makes you sit up, bringing the furs up with you, protecting yourself from the bitter cold.
“Where are you going?” You ask, watching as he laces up his boots, his eyes flicker to yours for a moment but they don’t linger long.
“I have work to do. Don’t wait up for me” he tells you and before you even have time to try and even think of what to say he’s gone.
You don’t bother stopping the tears that fall so effortlessly from your eyes. A regretful sob broke through your lips as you feel yourself engulfed by unwavering guilt, the type that pinches at your heart leaving bruises in its wake.
You can’t find solace in sleep, not without Cregan beside you. So you wait, and wait a book in your lap but you pay it no mind as your eyes stay fixed on the door.
You questioned whether or not he had already found another woman. Filthy thoughts tainting your mind, and you know it’s silly. Cregan would never break your trust or heart like that, never.
The hours seem to drag, and you contemplate if you should go out and find him yourself to say your sorries and give him a well-earned explanation, but the Maesters told you rest is the best thing for the babe.
Then the heavy wooden door opens, and there he is. “I told you not to wait up,” he says, and you watch him intently as he takes off his furs and leather.
You want to speak but you haven’t the slightest idea of where to even begin, there are so many words that rattle around in your brain but none of them seem good enough.
He looks over at you, and if it weren’t for the anger that still tingles his skin he would’ve felt sorry for the way you seemed to go in on yourself.
“Have I done something? Offended you somehow?— hurt you?” He wonders, wincing at the way his voice trembles, and the sound brings tears to your eyes.
You shake your head, trying to string a sentence together but the only thing that comes out is a pitiful sob. Emotions collide in your chest.
“Then what is it y/n? Why are you treating me as if I’m a stranger?” He asks, sitting at the end of the bed.
You study the scars that litter his chest, the one that travels across his ribcage that you love to you trace with gentle fingers, and you yearn to be held by him once again.
“I’m so sorry,” you tell him, your hand splayed against your collarbones. You can’t stop the cries that escape you. You shuffle down to where he’s sitting, a careful hand against his shoulder. “I’m sorry Cregan- I can explain” you gasp.
His slightly calloused hand soothes the expanse of your back, he hates seeing you so upset. The painful expression that paints your face, how your eyebrows furrow together. He promised himself that he’d do anything in his power to prevent this.
He wants to be mad, but he can't not when your shoulders shake as you try to stifle your cries behind a shaky hand.
“Love, breathe,” he says, taking your hand in his as he guides you through deep breaths. He’s always been so good at that.
He brings your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently and you sigh at the feeling of his beard against your skin.
“Cregan, I-” you look up at him as he urges you to continue, worry laced through his eyes, “I am with child” you whisper, your eyes flickering down to where your hands lay against his lap entwined with his own.
“The ladies have said- told stories of how their bodies change, how they no longer look the same as before- their husbands, they-” you sob, not being able to finish the sentence, a desperate need to get him to understand. And he does, he knows what you’re trying to say, and it hurts him beyond words that you would ever even consider the possibility.
His hands gently cup your tearful face, and he gives you the most endearing look he could muster. “My precious wife” he starts, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “You are the light of my life, my heart is yours entirely,” he tells you, a sense of relief washing over him as you fling yourself into his arms.
It was silly of you to doubt his love, especially for you. “I know- I’m sorry,” you tell him, kissing his shoulder.
“How long have you known?” He asks, his hands grasping at your hips.
“I had a suspicion for a while” you confess, bringing his hands to your belly. You let out a breathy giggle at the way his eyes light up with excitement as his hand soothe the expanse of your stomach.
He presses a gentle kiss to your lips before wiping away the stray tears that fall from your lashes, “A pup of our own eh?” He says, a teasing look flashing through his eyes as he urges you to lay against the pillows.
His hand dips underneath your nightdress grazing along your thigh travelling to rest at the curve of your stomach, your bump was barely there but yet he knows the difference. He smiles at you softly, enjoying the way your breath hitches at his touch.
“I promise I’ll take such good care of you, and our little one” he says, love bleeding into his tone as he peppers your neck with kisses. Your fingers thread through his hair as you urge him closer to you, you had missed him more than you thought.
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splatashahowlett · 2 months
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missing piece
logan (james) howlett x reader
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the record player was playing One piece at a time, your favorite song, occasionally letting out a soft sound of scratching against the vinyl. the bar was crowded and everybody seemed to have a good time. the 70's may become your favorite decade. you've been alive for over a hundred years now but you liked everything about this era; the music, the clothes and the recklessness of it.
you were currently seated at the bar, drinking whatever the bartender had offered you. the guy had been hitting on you all evening, and you figured that free drinks couldn't hurt since your healing factor would keep you from getting drugged. you liked the attention anyway, your ex lover had disappeared on a random tuesday and never came back home. it had been four years since you had last seen him, you weren't mad at him anymore, but more at yourself for thinking a man could keep his promises. so some compliments were always welcomed.
you were watching people dance, the festive atmoshpere filling a void in your chest. whenever you felt alone you would go to a bar, or a pub just to feel something. in those places, time seemed to stop, you could be invisible. nobody cared about you or asked anything from you. sometimes you would dance with a random girl or guy and end up in their motel room just to sneak out the second they fell alseep. you were conscious that this lifestyle wasn't for everybody. in fact, you didn't enjoy it in the slightest. but you didn't have a choice. you didn't have any family anymore, and the only person that counted took off 4 years ago. you didn't work and your only hobby was drinking. you weren't living, but barely surviving. but with time you get used to it, right?
right as when you were about to get up to dance, someone sat next to you. too close for your liking. you turned your head and were met with a drunk looking guy, staring at you like you were some piece of meat. you gave him a look that meant "get the fuck out of here and leave me alone" but he didn't seem to want to comply.
"hello pretty girl, need some company?" he said, or at least that's what you understood. his breath hit your nose and you almost threw up; your heightened senses could really be a pain in the ass sometimes.
"go fuck yourself" you said, walking toward the back door. the guy following you.
"I think I'll need some help with that, my girl" he said, trying to catch up with you. you ignored him, or at least he thought so, and went through the back door, making sure he was still behind you. once you found yourself in a small alley, you grabbed him by the collar and pushed him brutally against the wall.
"I am not your girl" you threatened. the dickhead tried to answer but with your hands on his throat the task seemed more difficult than usual. you hated this petname, it reminded you of things you wanted to forget. you let go of him, letting him fall to the ground and kicked him in the stomach. that wasn't necessary but he deserved it.
you went back inside, planning on gathering your things and then finding a place to sleep. you folded your jacket on your arm and put your pack of cigarettes in your pocket. but as you turned toward the door, your heart stopped. a familiar face looking at you from the crowd. at first you thought you were hallucinating, the fucker was dead. you hoped he would be. it would hurt less. but when he started coming closer you scoffed.
you couldn't do it without a drink, so you sat back and asked for straight tequila. you missed this vanishing feeling the night procured you.
logan sat next to you and asked for a drink. you refused to look at him. you wanted to punch him in the face, alright maybe you were still a little mad at him. seeing him here, and so close to you made you mad. you wanted to kill and kiss him.
"I missed you" he said, looking afar. out of all the things he could have said you weren't expecting this. you scoffed and tightened your grip on your drink.
"shut your damn mouth" you gritted through your teeth, still holding onto your drink for dear life. you had imagined what it would be like to see him again and promised to yourself that you would tell him you moved on and leave him speechless. you never thought you still loved him so deeply. you hated how he made you feel, you hated feeling weak. but you loved everything else about him, and if feeling vulnerable was the price to pay to be with him then you wouldn't think twice about it.
"I didn't have a choice" he added, this made your blood boil. you knew he was telling the truth and you had already forgave him, you just needed to hear him say it. you didn't say anything, didn't ask about the reason of his departure. you kept your mouth shut, hoping he would take the hint and leave. no you didn't want him to leave, you wanted him to think that you wanted him to leave.
"I’m sorry” he muttered. this was your last straw, your glass broke between you fingers, shards of glass flying all over the counter and cutting into your hand. you jumped, startled at your own doing. logan reached for your hand immediately but you moved it away before he could even brush it.
"fuck you" was the last thing you said before running to the bathroom. your healing factor was already pushing the glass out of your flesh but it still hurt as hell.
“let me help you” you hadn’t even hear him coming in. you smiled, amused at the situation. you terribly wanted to give him your hand but your pride told you otherwise.
“why are you here?” you whispered, almost scared that if you spoke louder he would disappear.
“I told you, I miss you”.
“of course you do, that's why you came back so quickly” you said, washing the blood off your hand. “I just know you were bored to death without me" you joked, trying to ease the tension.
logan approached and slowly put his hands on your waist, your back facing him. he then delicately planted his chin on your shoulder. “I know you won’t believe me when I tell you I did this to protect you and that’s fair but I need you by my side, I need my girl” you swore you heard a sob in his voice. you looked up, staring at your reflection in the mirror, you could see logan’s head next to yours he was looking at you. this was the first time you’ve look into his eyes since he left. and they felt like home.
you turned around slowly, facing him. you hands claimed back their place on either side of his face. wiping his tears. seeing logan cry was rare, extremely rare. you felt your heart broke at the sight. he put his hands on yours and closed his eyes, enjoying how your touch felt like after so many years. nothing changed, not his love for you nor what he felt around you.
“let me take you home” he begged
“where?”
“doesn’t matter, home is whenever I’m with you”
you knew that your james was telling the truth, and you knew that you still loved each other.
"I need time, james" you answered, even if your mind was already made you had some self respect. you were about to say something else but logan beat you to it:
“I love you” he breathed.
you kissed him passionately, making up for all the lost kisses.
"I love you most"
you were still upset about what he did, but at the end of the day, you knew he did it for a good reason and that it hurt him maybe even more than it did you, and you certainly couldn’t imagine life without him.
you both cried into the kiss, silently promising to always be on each other's side.
"come on, let's get out of here"
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