#will he kill you? it depends on what you do / and also what species you are tbh

[bcneheaded]

Something I don't talk about enough and kinda gloss over a lot because Artemis is like... friendly... amiable.... personable and stuff yea.... is the fact that he is, in fact, what is essentially a 'retired bad guy'. That shop he runs? His retirement plan. He's old and tired and is done fighting and being mindlessly hateful and angry about everything that's ever happened to him. Now he's chiller and trying to just move on with his shit. Is he still murderously angry about it? ......yes.... is he just calmer outwardly and of a more sound mind? Also yes.

Does that mean he's a good guy now...? absolutely not. Is he still a bad guy? nah... not really. But that like trope of the merchant/tavern keeper being unexpectedly a little stupidly OP and despite being 'retired' still can and absolutely will rock your shit if you test him? Yeah... he do be like that...

[civetfish]

Was gonna wait to post this outside of ko-fi until I posted the corresponding part of my fic BUT since that's on hold for a hot second I might as well do it now!

So much yapping under the cut because I can't help myself lol (Mostly just a stream of consciousness, so its kind of a word salad)

I like to think that colors can change in brightness, mix with others, and appear in certain areas/patterns to give a bit of complexity to the use of colors for communication.

Top left is pretty straightforward- yellow is fear. It's the full body "puffed up cat" kind of fear where it's the ony emotion being processed. A lingering anxiousness would be shown more like a general yellow centered around the chest, while the rest of their body remains the same color. Feelings like a slight nervousness (Like handling a delicate object with big crab-claws, for example) would be shown through a "rippling" wave of yellow overtop of whatever colors are already present, originating from the chest or hands. ((link) this is pretty close to what I imagine (If the link doesn't work, skip to about 2:10) Spooky ocean warning! though if you're seeing this post in the first place I assume you're probably fine with it )

Green is analytical - He does this a few times in-game, and it's what makes the most sense to me. I also like to think it's the reasoning behind a lot of the Architect's... well, architecture. Green is a really predominant color in all of the architect structures / data hubs / machines / etc., so in cultural sense it would make sense for the Architects to be using the color representing their core values. The light blue around his sides is amusement/joy. (I put a little bit of this into my first chapter iirc) This is also based pretty closely to what we see in-game. (I.e. the little wave he does back at Robin, it's silly and playful and I love it sm)

The gray/dull tones (bottom left) are just that- the "muting/dulling" of whatever color it's applied to. The Architect who kind of killed his entire species is a little depressed if you can believe it! A muted blue (indigo, rather than light blue) would be melancholy, and the yellow tint in there is stress/dread. A completely dim gray Architect is basically completely numb, which is distinct from the typical "resting color" that Architects have when not feeling any emotion in particular at a given moment.

Dark blue (Or indigo, bottom right) is sadness. It could also be read as a sense of longing or wistfulnes, or a lot of other nuanced feelings depending on other colors or context clues.

And of course magenta (bottom middle) and that coral-ish color are love, more or less. It's a sense of fondness and deep affection, though Al-an himself is probably under the impression it's more like a loyalty and protectiveness; I don't think he has any real experience with love considering what we know about the network.

The coral color in the center of his chest is something I'll dive into more when I get that chapter out, but I think of it as a flush/heat, like an Architect blush. Orange is added to colors to increase the intensity of the emotion underneath, such as the inclusion with magenta to mean flustered or to red to mean a more heated rage. An embarassed architect would be fully orange, possibly leaning a bit towards pink, red or yellow depending on the specific situation.

For an "emotionless peak of innovation and efficiency" I am determined to shove SO many feelings into this shrimp horse. This stream of word spaghetti will eventually get rewritten into a basic color code.

[karniss-bg3]

The Tragedy of Faith

So between tumblr and twitter I've read various takes on Kar'niss and what draws people to him. For some it's the monster fucking appeal, for others it's the desire to fix a clearly broken individual. There are in-betweens and of course this is subjective and depends on the person. Act 2 spoilers ahead. Where my personal interest comes from is how good Larian communicated the tragedy of faith and what a cult can do to a person. Kar'niss is a creature that has been broken by not one God, but two. Lolth broke him physically, the Absolute broke him mentally. His entire identity has been lost to a deity to the point he raises her in his speech. Referring to her as "Majesty" and "Queen", two terms you don't really hear anyone else address her as, he has elevated her to his final savior and leader. He also often refers to himself as "we" and "us", cementing him as part of the hive mind rather than holding any individuality of his own. When he does refer to himself as "I", it's mostly to show further loyalty to the Absolute, to maintain a position of importance in his fractured mind. Cults are notorious for targeting the most vulnerable in society as they are the easiest to mold and manipulate to their doctrine. The fact that goblins are one of the main races that fall to the Absolute's influence is telling in that regard, as they are often dismissed by the other races. Kar'niss was ripe for the picking, an easy target to lure into her arms. No doubt he was found shortly after Lolth twisted him into a drider and banished him, he didn't stand a chance.

Not even taking those elements into account, Kar'niss came from a society that is infamous for cruelty and violence, especially toward males of their species. Drow greatest hits include, but are not limited to: -Killing their young if they are not aesthetically pleasing enough. In other words, ugly. -Sacrificing every third born son to Lolth.

-If a male finds the favor of two competing females, it often doesn't end well for the male. The rival woman will kill the male and chuck his dead body into his opponents bedchambers, just for the sake of being petty.

-Love and emotions of any sort are in short supply, if not outright unseen as a general rule. The nature of drow to backstab and seek to rise in the ranks makes it near impossible to be anything other than fierce and domineering.

With these things in mind, it's easy to assume that Kar'niss had a turbulent upbringing and likely suffered untold abuse from many around him. It's not to say that good or reasonable drow don't exist, it's just not commonplace in a Lolthite society. Unfortunately, the game doesn't give us a great deal to go on as far as his past. What little he reveals only happens after he's dead, and even then its really a cliffs notes version. What we do know is that his devotion is intense and unwavering. He's willing to die for the Absolute because in his mind the Absolute are the only ones who care about him. We even see fellow followers talk down to him, dismiss him, and verbally eye-roll the guy. To them, his fanaticism is over the top and they follow the same God he does.

All told, this leads me to the conclusion that Kar'niss has never, or rarely, known true compassion in his entire life. He's been used as a puppet for one deity or another, and likely mocked or cast aside even when he did everything right. It doesn't surprise me that there are folks who desire a romance option, or barring that a side venture to break him free of the Absolute's hold. We don't know if Kar'niss did terrible things in his past, or where his moral compass sits as his entire personality revolves around God. But I'd love to know, and I crave more background on him in one form or another.

I've spent too much time thinking about different paths that could happen in-game. I also understand it's incredibly unlikely he'll ever become a companion. The sheer amount of time and resources needed to give a character a satisfying arc is likely more than Larian can do with other constraints, but maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised. So Kar'niss lovers, platonic, romantic, or everything in-between...I gotchu fam. We stan the spooder bby. Someone get that man a blanket and a nice mug of hot cocoa. And a cult de-programming kit, one of those would be good.

[litnerdwrites]

Did Jack Barlow Know? If so, who else knew and how?

Okay, so hear me out! We know this likely means that either Andarna is linked to this mysterious weapon. We don't know if means she knows where to find it/activate it, if she is the weapon, or if a rider that bonded her species of dragon was what wiped them out. Either way, it's safe to say that it all relates back to her in some way.

We also know that Jack Barlow was a Venin before he crossed the parapet, right? And in Kaori's classes, he was very interested in Tairn. Then, during Threshing, his number one goal was to kill Andarna (which isn't smart given where he was). Also, by the end of Iron Flame, he was somehow controlling Baide. Not, seemingly, dissimilar to how Varrash described influencing a dragon instead of allowing it to influence you.

His interest in Tairn is most likely because he wanted to bond a powerful dragon for the Venin to use, or for him to control. He wanted to influence Tairn the way he did Baide, maybe even syphon power from him, and by proxy, Sgaeyl.

He was also weirdly obsessed with Killing Andarna during Threshing, which, at the time, just could be attributed to arrogance, disrespectfulness and self-centredness, which was on brand for him. But now that we know what he is, and what he was doing all along, it's safe to say there could be other Venin in the wards.

There's so much speculation regarding Violet's potential Venin heritage, from either her mother or father's side. Lilith's rank and position means that she and Violet's dad had been close to the hatching grounds for a while. Violet's father specifically was researching Feathertails, and he died one or two years before the start of the book, when Violet was about 18. What else happened when Violet was 18? Andarna. She hatched when Violet was 18, possibly before her father even died.

Who's to say how many other Venin there are within the Wards. There are likely to even be a couple, like VIolet's dad, that were within a four hour flight radius to said wards. If Volet's dad felt Andarna hatch, then any other near by Venin could have too. Going back to his research for a moment, it's worth mentioning, how would he be able to study Feathertail effectively? The only way for there to be information about them in his research that isn't common knowledge, is either, a) he had access to very restricted texts (like the King's personal collection), which seems unlikely, or b) to have seen a feathertail.

If nothing else, I think Andarna knows something of the research he did. Perhaps he even met her for himself. When Varrish was questioning Violet about it, Tairn confirms that he doesn't know about it, but Andarna? The author makes a point to tell us that she went silent. Not that she wasn't there, or grew uninterested, or even went to sleep. She was there, she was listening, but she didn't respond.

By now, I think it's safe to say that she knows something. Throughout the books, Andarna drops hints to her secrets, without outright saying them, or lying about them. She prefers lying by omission, which, towards the end of the first book, Tairn points out to her, can be just as bad. It still seems to be her preferred method of secret keeping, though. Like how she's not like the other juveniles, or how she'd be the head of her own den, all indicating that she really isn't. She's a whole other species, and already the head of her own den.

I think Andarna knows something about the Venin, and about Violet's dad, in which case, it's possible he also knew, somehow, that Andarna would chose Violet. I'm not sure how likely that would be, and would depend on how much Andarna knows of this research.

However, I'm confident that she's the key to stopping the Venin in one form or the other. I also think that, somehow, the Venin knows this too. Either through Violet's dad, who may or may not have had contact with Andarna, or knew of her, at the very least, or through another Venin in Basgaith.

So, finally, going back to Jack Fucking Barlow, the root of this discussion, did he know about all of this? We know he was sent to destroy the wards, but was hellbent on killing Andarna during Threshing.

Powerful dragons can tell what a hatchlings colour will be, before they mature. Is it possible that powerful Venin can too? If there was a Venin near the wards, powerful enough, would they be able to tell as well? It's possible that a Venin inside the wards reported back to a higher rank, about Andarna's hatching, or that a Sage or General to learn about the dragon hatchlings through other Venin, or people like Violet's dad.

If they did, then they could Know what Andarna is. They'd know how she's different, how she's the key to stopping them, and perhaps even the key to their victory. Could it be that the Venin sent Jack to, not only destroy the wards, but to kill Andarna before she became a threat? If the higher ups amongst Venin didn't know, then did Jack figure it out on his own, and do it to earn The Sage's approval? Based on how desperate they are to capture Violet for The Sage, they seem pretty obsessed with proving themselves. Jack might have wanted to become a strong rider to gain the acknowledgment or promotion from The Sage, and later decided to kill Andarna while he was at it.

It's possible that that's the reason that The Sage wants Violet so badly. If you can't beat them, join them. Or have them join you by turning the love of their life into a monster, and using him to kidnap or manipulate them into joining your cause because they're the biggest threat to you and your kind. Perhaps they want her to manipulate Andarna the way Jack did with Baide or Varrish claimed to do with Solas, since it was Andarna, or her kind, that ended the war 600 years ago.

[pepplemint]

Like okay imagine you are a human child growing up with a vampire mother. You don't know any other humans like you - not because humans don't exist, but because they're all locked up. And although your mother is keeping you hidden, the majority of society is just vampires. Then one day you find out the truth - the vampires are in fact eating (from) the humans, and they would probably eat you too, given the chance. This is a horror movie scenario -

But! The vampires technically don't have a choice in this - human blood is the only thing they can eat. There's not enough humans that would willingly give up blood, so they have to "farm" them just so that they can survive. Some of them even try their best to care for the humans - like your mom, and some humans like their vampire caretakers. They've never even lived without a vampire to care for them, so they might not even know how to! Sure, there's also the bad apples, those who only see humans as food and nothing more, but isn't there always?

Nonetheless - both good and bad are draining humans of their lifeforce and taking away their freedom, that is a fact. The kid decides that because of the circumstances making them the only one capable of it, they need to save the other humans and get far away from the vampires. ...Also they have a magical vampire killing m20 bazooka 👍 So up against individual vampires they are way overpowered, really. They kill vampires like slicing through butter.

The issue here is too complex to say that anyone is wrong. Both sides are doing what they're doing not out of pleasure, but to be able to survive and feel safe. There is no possible middle ground. Vampires live, at the cost of humanity being enslaved and milked for blood. Or humans get to live (safely), but the vampires starve.

And we could apply it to the world in an even larger metaphor or take it at face value, doesn't really matter. Humans and vampires might look alike, might be just as smart and good with words and have similar needs, but ultimately one of them living is dependent on the other suffering. So can you possibly say that one deserves to live more than the other? That one has more of a right to hurt the other to protect their own species?

Anyway yes this is about Trigun. And how Millions Knives maybe wasn't right but he sure also wasn't wrong

[uncharismatic-fauna]

A Tip for the Blacktip Reef Shark

One of many species referred to as blacktip sharks, Carcharhinus melanopterus is a member of the requiem shark genus. It is a popular attraction at aquariums around the world, but in the wild they are found only on the coral reefs of the Indian and Pacific ocean, particularly around the coasts of eastern Africa, southern Asia, and Oceania. They prefer shallow, warm waters, although they can be found at depths of up to 75m (246 ft).

The blacktip reef shark is named for the tip of its dorsal fin, which is black. They are otherwise typical of sharks, with a torpedo-shaped body and wide, broad fins. Adults are brownish grey on top and lighter on the bottom, while juveniles are more yellow. Individuals can grow up to 1.8 m (6 ft) long, and there is no difference in size between males and females. However, the two sexes are easily distinguished by a pair of claspers located just beneath the male's pelvic fins.

Throughout their range, C. melanopterus may be encountered alone or in lose social groups, with little discrimination for sex or age. They generally stay in the same area, patrolling a range of less than 0.55 km2 (0.21 sq mi), the smallest of any shark species. They do most of their hunting at night, although they can be active early in the morning or late in the afternoon. Blacktip reef sharks regularly feed on a variety of prey, including fish, squid, octopi, cuttlefish, mantis shrimp, and smaller sharks and rays. However, smaller individuals may themselves fall prey to groupers, grey reef sharks, or tiger sharks. Due to their poor vision, some blacktip reef sharks may attack humans, but only as a case of mistaken identity; when approached directly, individuals are more likely to swim away than fight.

The mating season can vary widely across C. melanopterus' range. Around Oceania, populations mate only once a year between January and February, or November and March. Off the coast of East Africa females only reproduce every other year, and in the Indian Ocean they reproduce twice a year. When they are receptive, females spin in a slow, downward spiral while releasing pheromones to attract a mate. Once he finds her, the pair swim in sync for a period before he initiates mating. Afterwards, the female may gestate for anywhere from 7-11 months, depending on her region. Following this period, she gives birth to 2-5 live young, who are immedietly independent. Males typically take 4 years to reach maturity, while females take 7 years; both sexes can live up to 12 years in the wild.

Conservation status: The blacktip reef shark is listed as Vulnerable by the IUCN. It's primary threats are fishing, as individuals are killed either as by-catch or intentially for their fins, skin, and teeth. They are also threatened by habitat loss.

If you like what I do, consider buying me a ko-fi!

Photos

Tim Calver

Alastair Freeman

Doug Finney

[rottenpumpkin13]

The idea if Sephiroth having a sibling is sickening.

So you know how Female lions will eat her cubs if they don't seem themselves worthy of being a mother to spare the child from themselves?

I think that's exactly what would happen to Sephiroth if he got a sibling.

That or if he became a father.

Not Necessarily eat his kids or sibling. I think he'd just kill them to spare them from him.

Of course I also love when people depict him as someone who will change for his sibling/child. Cause it brings the softer side of himself he was never able to show.

I mean.. with Jenova’s track record of being hungry, I don’t think this is a wild thought tbh. Though I lean toward the hc that he’d thrive with any type of family, based on what canon shows about him feeling alone, searching for his origins, wanting to belong, being loyal to his friends, etc. That’s why I feel like if he had a sibling, child, partner—whatever—he’d be fiercely loyal and would sacrifice everything for them, even if it meant killing himself.

Pre-Nibelheim Sephiroth, at least to me, wasn’t violent by nature. His violence came from his duties and what he was trained to do as a SOLDIER. But after Nibelheim, yeah, he’s willingly violent, thanks to Jenova, anger, his goals, and everything he became after coming back from the dead.

What you’re saying definitely makes more sense with that version of Sephiroth, especially if we’re talking about Jenova as Sephiroth. We don’t know exactly what Jenova’s species is like or how they treat their kids, but being parasitic implies they might cannibalize or eat their offspring depending on the circumstances—survival needs, competition, whatever. So it’s not that crazy to think Sephiroth could kill his own offspring (I heard you, kill not eat) if it fit his needs.

Although I'm keeping my hc that he'd be loyal to his children/sibling regardless 😭 💚 he needs a family ok

[ebonyslasher]

Spicy Alphabet: Jason Voorhees

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Such a sweetheart. He's eager to clean up after. It's a bit sloppy at first but he gets the hang of it. Tucking you into the bed and laying right beside you when he's done to cuddle. He does everything out of love and necessity. Of course you won't be able to move after THAT session. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's quite proud of his torso, it's a powerhouse. His torso is the one thing he'll allow himself to look happily at in the mirror. Those abs and back muscles were a blessing.

You? He doesn't have one. Everything about you is a blessing from God to him. There hasn't been an inch of your body he's neglected. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This may sound strange, but it depends on your relationship development.

Married? Cream pies oozing out of you every time.

Engaged? Cum shots on different body parts.

Even if you can't physically get pregnant, Jason feels like creampie always equals possible pregnancy. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There's nothing dirty about this pure man. How dare you! Until he kills……then he's pretty messy.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not experienced at all. Pretty sure he grew up evangelical Christian. They don't like even kissing until you get married. He's awkward, uncomfortable, and shy. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Let's avoid laughing until he gets super comfortable with sex. He might think you're making fun of him. Once he's more confident in himself, he'll also laugh at the weird sounds and awkward transitions.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

His pubic hair has its own ecosystem. You swear you could discover some new animal species in there. He'll groom if you ask him, or even let you trim him yourself. But if you like the ecosystem, be ready to become an ecologist ���

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Exceptionally romantic. There are times where it gets so overwhelming, it makes you cry. That and the incredible orgasms he gives you. Actually, you can't tell which reason made you cry the most.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Nah. He will just come to you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As long as it's gentle, he's into BDSM elements. Mostly bondage and you dominating him. Big scary guy likes to be put in his place, figuratively, by his small, cute s/o. It helps him unwind from his killing sprees. Once married, he will have the strongest urge for breeding.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

If you are okay with it, on a bed near the lake. The moonlight shines down on you both, exposing the glisten of sweat on skin.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your existence is enough to turn him on. But he gets especially hard when you take charge and take care of him, doting on him like the loving spouse you are.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that will hurt you. Also, anything that he finds degrading for the both of you like; scat, piss play, or spitting 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves to give, give, givvvvvvvveeeee!! Oh, you'll be screaming in pleasure when he goes down. His tongue and the amount of saliva he produces makes you feel like you're sitting in his heavenly water. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Scared to go rough, so he's slow and sensual. Later on, he'll allow some rough moments, but they are very quick. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Would rather have a full love making session. Quickies remind him of the teens who he kills for having pre-marital sex. There's no love in the action to him. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

No. He'll try something new for you. But he has his hard limits.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Although he's a powerhouse, he delivers so much emotion through his movements during lovemaking. He can last 2-3 good rounds before he's tapped out. He needs to emotionally recover.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Sex toys? He's neutral. It depends on what it's being used for. He likes using them on you more than on himself. With bondage (and other related items) , he would rather be on the receiving end.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is not unfair! He'll give you what you want. He's a sucker for you 💕. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Moderately loud. He grunts a lot. Sometimes whimpers. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You were teaching him how to tie knots one day with some colorful rope you ordered. His hands were used as a demonstration. After running through various techniques, you noticed his arousal poking out. That's when you both discovered he likes being tied up.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Anaconda. Not kidding. He's soda can thick, 10.5 inches long. He has a small curve to the left.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Low, on his own. You're the deciding factor on how high his sex drive is. He tries to match you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sometimes he will quickly fall into slumber after caring for you. Other times, he's energized by the session. So he'll go out and check the camp.

[flickering-nightfall]

So, your Infinity Train crossover got me to watch the show, and... woah. Woah. I would love to know if you had any more ideas, blurbs, thoughts, anything about that crossover, because now I can't get enough of imagining the viciously murderous cat and accidentally-fratricidal robot on the train.

I'm glad you liked Infinity Train too! (and thank you!) More on the crossover... I gotta admit I haven't thought of much other than the initial "haha what if" idea. Maybe I can speculate though:

Spoilers ahead!

There were many hilarious and thoughtful takes on how Pebbles could possibly end up on the train, in the notes of the initial post. I joked that it'd just tear a hole through his structure, but there are more (and less) sane options than that.

Since we only see human passengers on the train, a lot of people would probably mistake Pebbles and Arti as denizens. Simon and Grace would probably not take to them having numbers well. I feel like they'd most likely think it was a trick, but it could shake up their perspective too.

Man humans look kind of similar to ancients maybe. That doesn't mean much to Arti - and I think humans look dissimilar enough from scavs to be spared by her wrath. But to Pebbles...

Also, iterators haven't communicated with another civilization-era sapient species in a quite a while probably. Some interesting stuff can come out of that.

How many migraines do you think Pebbles gets from trying to figure out what the hell is up with denizens? Or the train itself? I feel like he'd have an aneurysm if he had to interact with Alan Dracula. If he goes home and tries to tell the others what happened without any proof, they'd think he'd had a rot-induced fever dream.

Numbers are dependent on how close a passenger is to solving their problem. Arti, having already killed the scav chieftain, according to Rain World has hit the point of no return. So her body is completely wrapped up in numbers. But like Amelia, with enough time and determination it might be possible. The main problem is... Arti has to want to fix her problem first. The setup for her to do that is there. She's with Pebbles, so she has less of a reason to go off on a rampage unless she's being threatened. The lack of scavs wouldn't stop her from resorting to violence at this point, but the pure strangeness and unfamiliarity of her surroundings should at least baffle her into a different mental state.

I think in order to get an exit, Arti needs to make peace with herself. She must acknowledge what she has become, and to truly believe that she needs to change. It has little to do with the death of her children at that point. She needs to escape the self-perpetuating circle of violence.

Pebbles' number is much smaller (but still huge) because he's entrenched in rage and isolation and frustration on a massive timescale, but we see him eventually come to a resolution in Rivulet's campaign. How would the train define his problem though? It could be his anger at Moon and Suns, blaming them for his current state (even if Suns is partially at fault). It could be his tendency to close himself off, his refusal to talk to others or accept help. It could be his denial, believing he can handle and fix everything by himself. It could be his overall arrogance or ego. There's a lot of options there. Ultimately I think whatever brings him to think similarly to how he does in Rivulet's campaign would do the trick.

The sad thing is that Pebbles would probably be better off staying on the train too. I'm not sure if he'd be affected by the rot there, but he'd at least he could (literally) get out of his own head. And he has no choice but to touch grass interact with new people and situations. But to deny his exit would be to deny responsibility for what he's done. If he's really gotten better, that means he knows he can't run away anymore.

If Pebbles went to the train without Arti there's a chance he'd get killed or ghom'd two days into the trip. We are assuming his puppet is capable of walking for this AU, but also I do not think he knows how to walk. Good luck pink guy!

On the flipside. Pebbles could... probably take over the train even more than Amelia ever did, especially as a (bio)mechanical being himself. The only thing that could limit him are taboos maybe. Any iterator could do this, really. Lots of potential paths with that one.

Something something, One-One and iterators both solving people's big problems with varying amounts of success, and both engineering weird organisms...

...does a RW character that gets ghom'd return to the great cycle? Their soul gets devoured, or their life essence, it's not clear. I guess which one could determine what happens. But also they are in another universe where there is probably no cycle. Are ghoms a triple affirmative? Is crossdimensional travel? The latter wouldn't fit the "portable and generally applicable" part but still. This is a whole rabbit hole and a half, isn't it!

The train is dangerous and all, but that just makes Rain World characters a hilarious fit for it. Like this is just their daily life. Honestly I think their home world is more dangerous than the train, just in less wacky ways.

Lastly: I haven't even touched upon what introducing other characters could do for this narrative, or how they would react. So many possibilities!

If anyone wants to do more with this, please feel free!

[banamine-bananime]

one thing that always perplexes me is how often i see takes on tucker where the work positions him as a great dad*, fluent in sangheili language and culture, and most of all, a great diplomat.

i'm not here to yuck anyone's yum and i, too, am absolutely transfixed and enraptured by this man's oscillation between "my one purpose in life is to constantly test the human limits of Annoyingness" and "sudden, shocking extreme competence with no warning" like a little Newton's cradle. like, i just spent 7000 words indulging myself in thinking about a version of tucker that listens a lot more to the "do whatever you gotta to protect the people you love and do what you think is right regardless of what people think" cartoon angel on his shoulder and less to the "that sounds hard i just wanna mouth off, jerk off, fuck off, and negg church" devil. i cannot throw stones and clearly i think that's a fun and valid interpretation of how his character could evolve. but evolve is the keyword there and it baffles me when this gets treated as the fact of how he immediately snapped into being as soon as he had junior, you know?

like. obviously tucker ended up doing some massively impressive shit as an ambassador in sandtrap. but that's because he wasn't being an ambassador, he was being The Final Girl in il/ct's slasher flick. getting trapped in a beseiged temple is, traghilariously, the best thing that could have happened for him in terms of being good at that job. if tucker were a pathfinder character he would have 18s in "dealing with your life suddenly being taken over by ancient alien religion bullshit", "surviving crazy shit through sheer spite and the adrenaline rush of pissing off whatever asshole has made it their life's mission to kill you this time", and "being the only person who knows what fucked up shit is going on while the rest of the bgc ignore you". he would have a 2 in "saying things that make people want to kill you LESS". de-escalation is not in this man's skillset. he cannot even handle being normal about human women. appreciating the intricacies of sangheili culture and politics, human culture and politics, and sangheili-human relations?

Tucker: People learn English all the time, it aren't that hard.

Church: Maybe you should try learning his language.

Tucker: Fuck that, we got here first, and that makes this a colony. Those're the rules, dude. Earth colony, Earth language.

Church: Tucker there's thousands of languages spoken on Earth.

Tucker: Hyeah, but only one that kicks ass. And that's the one we're teaching. English 101, remedial kick-ass.

i know this is pre-junior and doubtlessly, he is more interested in this stuff after junior (because junior's life does depend on sangheili politics and human-alien relations) and MUST be less dense about it after HAVING to do it as a job. like by osmosis at the very least something must have permeated his brain. but the gap between this^ and "knowledgeable enough to be an asset in this career, one people need at least one relevant degree for" is, uh, bigger than a few months between leaving blood gulch and being sent out to the field

sometimes i think about what a fucking trip it would be to be on the UNSC diplomatic team with tucker LMAO can you imagine how unpopular he must have been. a bunch of polisci and IR nerds like fists clenched shaking like leaves trying to restrain the urge to give this guy a swirlie because he cannot stop sounding like a fucking family guy episode while you're trying to, like, convince the warrior queen of some isolated Sangheili heretical sect to ally with the Swords of Sangheilios and the species they've been dead set on annihlating for decades. and also you know he's only an ambassador as like the weirdest most fucked up variation of a nepo baby. nepo forced interspecies religious incubator. the token chestburster virgin mary hire. the simultaneous Hatred for this guy making your job hell, the impotent rage of knowing that it is, actually, important that he be there for Symbolic reasons, and feeling sympathetic to him. you know part of why he's Like This is literally just because he's 20 and should be at the club but has had the year from hell and didn't ask for this. it's easy to forget that because he doesn't complain about any of the actually bad things that happened and just rolls with whatever crazy shit comes his way. complaining is reserved for being an annoying little bitch about petty shit.

ANYWAYS i'm not saying stop having fun with very competent versions of tucker. we're all just here to have fun. i just like what a weird combo of competent and disaster he is, as i interpret him, and i, personally, am incapable of interpreting him as being actually very good at his job as ambassador

*the only two options are not "bad dad" and "great dad". having an alien parasite non-consensually implanted in you by a manipulative fraudster to force his own involvement in a prophecy - oh and also their species is trying to exterminate yours - and going, "well, this baby didn't choose this, they're just a baby, and you know what? my baby. i love this baby unreservedly and unconditionally, fuck you." shows a capacity for love and forgiveness that's frankly fucking insane, both in the good-impressive way and the what-is-going-on-in-your-brain-and-how-did-this-kind-of-decision-making-not-get-you-killed-yet way. and tucker very clearly loves junior a lot and does his best - which, i want to reiterate, is absolutely wild considering the circumstances - but he wasn't ready for a kid, is bad at accepting responsibility especially for others, and the way that Things Never Stop Happening in his life mean he is really not very present. and it's not JUST because of things happening outside of his control - there were periods after season 8 and after season 13 he probably could have permanently reunited with junior and didn't.

[szaryherbatnik]

This is the shit i wrote about kremy last night. Dislaimer this is very self indulgent and i do mention myself here but yeah. This is for the two people that wanted to read it mwah! Another disclaimer this is just a 4am ramble and i doubt its anything more than a summary of a bunch of episodes. Obviously, spoilers for ouaw ahead, especially the last few eps.

Hello yes it is me the leader of Kremy nation welcome to the party the room is empty there is no party just me and my thoughts about one Kremy Lecroux.

I think I have to point out at the beginning that being suicidal in Avantris, in the world of D&D in general, is completely different to being suicidal here, in our reality. We have religion, we have beliefs, sure. But no matter how much we believe in those things, there’s no concrete proof of the existence of the afterlife. Of any kind of an afterlife. We don’t know what comes next. Now, in D&D, afterlife is tangible. It’s a very real thing that exists. I’m not an expert, I don’t know most things about D&D but from my humble understanding, after a person dies, their souls go on a journey to an afterlife. One of a few possibilities. To my knowledge, your afterlife depends on what you did as a living being, similarly to how we view heaven and hell etc. So although it was a bit shocking to me that Kremy pointed out just how spiritual he is in episode 45, it makes total sense. 

Here’s another part where I wish I knew more about D&D. Kremy is a warlock, warlocks have patrons. Patrons provide those whom they teach with magical abilities, and also a form of protection. I don’t think it’s a general rule that patrons have something to do with the afterlife, but Kremy’s patron, Baron Samedi, does. And he’s a proper figure in voodoo religion here on our planet. Referencing Kremy in episode 45, the Baron wants to ensure a good afterlife for his warlocks. A “fun” afterlife, a “party of skeletons”. Kremy talks fondly of him, why wouldn’t he, and at some points he even repeats the phrase “the Baron provides” when he’s particularly blessed with magic (fanfic flashbacks). In the episode 45 speech, Kremy at some point says:

“When I die, I want to have a good time too.”

“Too” as in… he wants to have as much fun as the Baron and those who are already partying in the afterlife or as much fun as he’s having while being alive. I will come back to this. So Kremy being spiritual is not weird, the afterlife is real, magic is real, when Kremy dies, and fulfills certain conditions, he will be provided with a cool afterlife. Great. Wait, what was that about conditions?

This is where I’ll jump into introducing another character. Remy Garou. Bastard man who I hope suffers a painful death but he won’t because he’s canonically alive for at least 15 years after the events of Once Upon a Witchlight. Remy Garou is on the top of the list of top ten evil exes. He’s the one that introduced Kremy to magic, to the Baron. In fact, we got a quite detailed description of Kremy meeting Remy for the first time (yes I’m aware they sound like weird twins but they’re really not they’re not even the same species).

And wow. That first meeting was gay as shit. I don’t even want to talk about it, I can only mention that Kremy has a type when it comes to men. Whatever toxic romance these two had doesn’t matter (ALTHOUGH I WISH I KNEW MORE ABOUT IT), the important part now is that Remy is not a cool guy and he will murder Kremy and his friends if they don’t pay the money they owe him. Except. He won’t kill them. This is the condition that I previously mentioned. In the episode 45 speech Kremy said that he will only be granted his dream afterlife if he’s on good terms with all the other warlocks the Baron is the patron of. Remy has power over Kremy in this situation of debt, instead of being murdered, sent away to the realms above or beyond, Kremy and the Krew will be turned into uh… weird swamp creatures and they will forever live in constant pain. Not cool. 

AND IN A WEIRD TURN OF EVENTS THAT INCLUDE A MUSHROOM TRIP.

Kremy lost his memory of Remy. He exchanged the memory of their first meeting for a vision, he didn’t know the memory would be lost. Remy’s existence was entirely erased from the minds of Kremy, and the entire Krew. They still remember the debt, just not the consequences. Kremy now doesn’t know that if he fails to pay the debt, he will fail to fulfill the conditions of getting into his dream afterlife. And that’s when the suicidal thoughts really kicked in. 

No that wasn’t the first time I clocked Kremy as suicidal or depressed. The first time I noticed something was clearly wrong was when they stood outside of Bavlorna’s hut, when they were so high up, they could only see a sea of clouds spreading out beside them. And in that moment Kremy mentioned that when he stands in high places, he gets this weird desire to jump, just an intrusive thought. He said he would never do it, but he feels like he wants to. He named this “the call of the void”. Naturally I thought “yeah of course I think of that when I’m high above ground” but both Frost and Gricko said that no, they never think of that. And that it’s a weird thing to think. Oh okay. And they never spoke of it again. From that point on I was kind of on a lookout for more signs of the void calling. I hear it everyday, apparently Kremy does too. I have this gaydar thing for depressed people apparently.

And when Kremy forgot about the consequences of his debt, when he forgot that his afterlife would be taken away, the void started screaming. It was almost instant, the way he started saying that hey, he might as well just drown, he might as well just get thrown off the shelf, he might as well get eaten by a beaver. Why not, just let this be over. It got so intense to the point that he got called out on it, but hey, it’s Once Upon a Witchlight and serious moments don’t last long in less significant situations. Without the fear of not being able to go to the Baron’s skeleton party, Kremy just wants to die.

This answers the question previously stated. When Kremy dies, he wants to have a good time too. Because he’s not having a good time being alive. 

I fear people will either say “Nooooo that’s not true Kremy loves Gideon! Why would he want to die! He doesn’t want to die, he has so much to live for! Like Gideon!” or “Yeah Kremy sucks he doesn’t love his friends he’s a shitty guy he doesn’t truly love anything I don’t like Kremy”. (I don’t actually think that I’m just so goddamn paranoid it’s embarrassing.) That’s not how it works. You can love someone and something and still want to be dead. I don’t think he’s just sad, obviously it goes deeper. It’s not basic trauma, this goes far beyond Kremy’s want to be a different person, to be cooler, more dapper, more elegant, richer. Yes, Kremy is quite paranoid and I doubt he fully believes in who he created himself to be (obviously obviously obviously) but he does, from a technical point of view, have things and people to live for. But that’s not how it works. 

In my love for Kremy, in a way of begging for my own happiness, I hope he will have a good time being alive. I hope I will too. I love tragedy in fiction, Kremy’s writing is brilliant and I should be thanking Richie every second of my pathetic life for creating Kremy. But I can’t detach myself from Kremy emotionally, I want him to be happy. 

but i also want him to suffer just a bit more so i can squeeze every single fact about his life and mind out of him eeheheheheheheheheheeh okay its 4am goodnight

[aboxthecolourofheartache]

box- youve got me interested in trigun but alas i have no idea what it is, pls help me understand

Oh god, my sincerest apologies ^^;;;

Trigun is a space Western and a thinly veiled allegory. It’s about a pair of twins, Knives Georg and Belts Georg, who are ideological opposites (except when they aren’t; they’re both extremists). This would be fine, except they are also insanely powerful interdimensional biological generators/space angels, making their conflict one between essentially minor gods. So they make their trauma Everybody’s Problem. One of them (Knives Georg) has set himself up as a cult leader with the intent of obliterating the human race because humans keep other, less independent, interdimensional biological generators/space angels captive as tools somewhere between Star Trek replicators and batteries. He gives this several goes, first by sabotaging humanity’s fleet of spaceships and crashing everyone onto a barren planet without resources in a painfully obvious reference to the expulsion from Eden/fall from Heaven, then by making his brother blow up a city, and lastly by stealing as many of the dependent generator angels as he can and trying to kill humanity via depravation and war crimes. His brother (Belts Georg) is a pacifist gunman who has internalized his trauma differently and does not want to obliterate humanity. In fact, he wants to stop his brother doing that, so he makes multiple badly-planned attempts to end the conflict until one of them sticks. He also lives on the run as a reviled, hated outlaw and a legend after Knives Georg made him blow up a city. The story is one long, intense interrogation of pacifism as an ideal, the consequences of taking or sparing lives, and answers the age-old questions: if nuclear bombs were sentient and afraid of exploding, could/would they love us? And: what would a traumatized angel do with a gun?

Come for the aesthetic, stay for the blatant biblical references and the gut-wrenching tragedy.

And yes, there are, in fact, three guns. One’s a species of Colt (.45 Long Colt?? I do not remember off the top of my head) or the bastard offspring of a Colt and a cinder block, the other is a prosthetic arm, and the last one is a flesh arm that’s actually a biblically inaccurate angelic energy-missile launcher. (OR they are two matching Colts and a spiritual bazooka with a bonus prosthetic arm gun. Depends on the version. As of now, Stampede (2023) only has two guns. The third is much anticipated.)

There are three versions of the story, too. The manga (personally my canon of choice, explains nothing and yeets events at you, incomprehensible fight scenes, emotionally devastating in ways the other two cannot even begin to touch), the 1998 anime (very good, made while the manga was still being written, has its own thing going on, suffers terribly from 1990s anime-itis aka bizarre sexism), and the 2023 anime (very good, mix-and-match canon that turns the timeline into pretzels, suffers from 12-episodes-long-itis with too much happening and not enough time to explore things).

[sonicasura]

I rewatched Firebreather the other night and can say without a doubt that Duncan Rosenblatt wouldn't have fun if dropped in the Kaiju No. 8 universe.

For those who don't know Firebreather movie, it's essentially about a 16 year old half human/kaiju teenage boy trying to live his life despite his father, Belloc, being King of the Kaiju and secret government organization that kills monster keeping a close eye on him. His mother, Margaret, made a deal with them so her son can have a semi-normal yet safe life. (I haven't read the comic version.)

Duncan pretty much has a no kill code involving both species. He does his absolute best to avoid killing the kaiju that attacked him(movie wise) and really doesn't want to take his dad's role as king. The former might be broken if Duncan gets stranded in KN8.

All the Kaiju there are much different than what he's used to with most acting closer to an animalistic invading species. The closest nonhuman person he can find solace in is Kafka Hibino since we know how No. 9 and No.10 are like. Although Duncan doesn't know that.

Depending on where he lands, it could take awhile to just bump into Kafka. A dangerous amount of time as Duncan's kaiju heritage is more noticeable in human form. It's not hard to spot the eeriely scale like pattern across his orange skin such as his forehead. 👇

His eyes also turn yellow and become slits under enough stress, a signal that he's about to go into kaiju form. Duncan gonna need to hide his face since it's still recognizable despite the horns, wilder hair, alongside sharper teeth. The Defense Force will be after him in seconds once they spot our young half kaiju.

Least worst one for Duncan to run into is Hoshina Soshiro as the vice captain can be reasoned with. (I'm going with people unaware of Kafka's secret in the DF.) Duncan may have to avoid being sliced and diced first.

Like with my RE Leon imagine, he allows to be taken in by the Defense Force if apprehended by Hoshina. Not the first time he was under military supervision so it's something Duncan can personally handle. He'll probably end up in Hoshina's care too. Definitely gonna be an alternate version where Kafka finds him but I haven't planned that out yet.

What do you guys think?

[pillowspace]

Sort of a dumb hypothetical I've been spinning my wheels about, but how might have things gone differently if Moon or Eclipse was the injured god Y/N found? That'd might change some lore stuff to explain how and why, I was just thinking about it after the new chapter and meeting Eclipse and wondered what a role-swap would be like

Moon would depend on some things. Is it Sun who's banished from the Mortal Realm, or is Moon still the one banished? Let's say he is still banished. That adds an extra layer of panic, because he has ended up in the realm he's not allowed to be in with no memory of how he got there, and he's frightened that if he does go back home, he'll be severely punished or possibly even killed by the higher gods when they find out. He is filled with anxiety after he wakes up, but also...

He missed this.

He looks around the woods with familiar awe, fascinated by the Mortal Realm's wilderness.

There is an issue here though. If Moon doesn't know what realm travel object got him here, then... he doesn't know how to get back on his own. It certainly wasn't his own pendant, it doesn't work. Moon is hostile towards Y/N at first, but once he tones it down, he convinces Y/N to send a prayer out for Sun to find him. Aaand that's how you could've gotten both blorbos in only the first act.

Let's move onto Eclipse now. Eclipseee... uhhh. For reasons, being trapped in the Mortal Realm could literally kill him, so I'm going to remove a rule to make this work. He is MASSIVE, with legs as tall as you are. He is not getting in your cart, and you wouldn't be able to lift him anyway. So instead, you go home, and return with health supplies. With how ABSOLUTELY STRANGE his body is, uou're unsure if it even helps, but you try to help him right there in the woods. After that, you go into town and pay to borrow a carriage so that you can get him safe into the indoors of your shed. You unfortunately do just have to lie down blankets on the floor and lie him there, as you don't have much else to offer. When he wakes up... now this may be a shock, but he does not threaten you. Not at all. He has gone through too much at the hands of other gods to be frightened by a species he never had much respect for anyway. You are terrified by his presence, but he is grateful, and does you no harm. You know how Sun is stubbornly trying to keep the life debt just a regular debt? Yeah, Eclipse doesn't do that. He immediately seals it into a life debt, pretty much having you own him. This is BIZARRE to you, but Eclipse has been so lonely that he'll literally take company in the form of a life debt, something that any other god would be horrified by. It's honestly a little sad. You refuse to use this life debt, but that's fine. All Eclipse wants is for you to keep him, and I am unsure if he'd even want to return home. There is something important back home, which puts him at a dilemma, but... this one bit of comfort... maybe it's more worth it to stay. TLDR: something is a little wrong with Eclipse

But let's put this into the other angle. Let's put the rules back into a canon state of things. The longer he stays in the Mortal Realm, the sicker and more in agony he becomes. You have to try your hardest to find the realm travel object he used before it's too late. There comes a point where he can no longer even stand, and while you regrettably have to take a break, you mutter reassurances to him that he basks in. If you do get the object to him in time, he'll take it, hesitate, then ask if you'd like to go with him.

There is a bit of lore that contradicts with all of this by the way, so that detail's being ignored. I'm putting us in an AU

[midnightsunnyday]

Random Headcanons About The World of Obey Me!:

Possible trigger warnings: mentions of self-harm and child birth.

Angels and demons don't age physically like humans, obviously. 100 years is roughly about one human year and so on. Lucifer, for example, existed before the beginnings of humanity and even time itself. Take that as you will.

Demons can't die. Technically. They can be injured, feel pain, even get sick, but they cannot experience "true death" as they will always regenerate themselves, regardless of the amount of time it takes to do so. However, during periods of intense physical trauma, they can return to what they call "the darkness before." It was once that Beelzebub experienced such a place after being seriously injured while protecting one of his brothers. When asked to describe it, the only answer he could give was simply, "boring."

That being said, there are ways to kill a demon, permanently, but doing so would require rather ancient and powerful magic, as well as finding a way to remove them from the cycle of creation itself. And the more powerful the demon, the harder it is to do. Demons like Barbatos, in this case, are virtually unkillable.

There are some demons who suffer through what is known as "cessation sickness." Symptoms include extreme fatigue, depression, migraines, bouts of forgetfulness, apeirophobia, and self-harm.

Children's television and interactive media in the Devildom is a bit more "eerie" than that of the human world. Think of Candle Cove or Fun with Amanda type of programs on the regular. What a human child or adult might see as disturbing is downright hilarious to a demon child. Speaking of children...

Demons, at least during certain occasions, are infertile. An immortal species has no need to consistently repopulate itself, after all. Yet every hundred years or so, demons do experience what is basically a mating season. The season lasts for only a moon, making the window to concieve very short. During this time, demons who are interested in baring children will build mating dens and perform certain rituals for their partners. Said experience is also very physically demanding and can take multiple, multiple attempts. Concieving a child, let alone bringing one to term, is not only rare but when successful, warrants a celebration that can last for days.

Demons who wish not to perform in said actions are offered alternatives. Substances that extinguish the need to mate are available during the season. It goes without saying that Lord Diavolo, Barbatos, Mephistophles, other royals, as well as the rest of the brothers, have found said alternatives mandatory...for obvious reasons.

Demon anatomy is...weird. Depending on the demon, there usually isn't one set amount of organs or parts, which makes Anatomy 101 even more confusing. Leviathan, for example, has three hearts (being kinda like a fish has its benefits).

When Diavolo closed the portals between realms, some demons were caught off from their main source of substance: human flesh and souls. Some either adapted, finding new ways to procure their energy, or went insane and needed to be exposed of (the incubi/ sucubi species were hit the hardest by this). Survival of the fittest is quite literal in the Devildom.

Demons weren't always like the ones you see now. Primordial demons were much more terrifying and closer to the ones most humans envision when they think of a devil. Most demons are capable of reverting to said forms, yet only under extreme circumstances.

Some may ask why exactly demons and angels look so close to mortals in appearance. One reason is that maintaining such a simple, bipedal form is easier for everyday mobility. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to walk through a door with hundreds of appendages or enjoy an iced latte when you're several stories tall or even hold a simple conversation without driving the person you're attempting to converse with into madness. Another reason is hunting, at least for demons. Luring in human prey is easier when they don't immediately run away screaming. And if you're one of "those types," mating. Let's just say things get messy and downright impossible when one partner doesn't have the proper biology.

Demons, for the most part, were always destructive, insatiable, and chaotic evil creatures. This began to change when certain primordial demons bred with other demons close in "emotional capacity" and created clans. Those clans eventually became kingdoms, and those who rule them now sit atop the hierarchy of the nine circles of hell. Lord Diavolo's ancestry, for example, leads back to the very beginnings of the Devildom and have stood there for eons.

The avatars are merely a physical representation of the sin that already exists within humans. They do not cause humans to sin just by merely being near them, though they can influence a sin if it's already there. Because of this, avatars are very good at sensing their sins and tend to be drawn to places that hold them the most. It's why Mammon and Asmodeus particularly love nightclubs.

Mammon tried his hand in the human stock exchange once and was found to be so good at it that he nearly collapsed the world economy. There's a reason Lucifer forbids Mammon from interfering with any human related trade or commerce.

Lucifer doesn't particularly care for most of his human created depictions in art or media. Satan also holds a slight gripe as well.

Lucifer, Belphegor, and Asmodeus have the ability to mimic voices. Asmodeus for...obvious reasons, Belphegor for more malicious purposes, and Lucifer only on rare occasions. Though when he's really spiteful, he'll use it to mimic MCs voice to draw Mammon out of hiding.

The brothers wonder how Belphegor, despite never seeming to work or...do much of anything, tends to have an ample amount of Grimm. Being known as the "demon of invention" has its perks. Along with being able to enter other's dreams, he can also influence those to pursue in certain endeavors that are bound to fail and lead nowhere (rather silly to bet on dreams with the avatar of sloth, huh)? When they inevitably do fail, Belphegor offers them a simple deal: a reasonable fee for the eternal, continuous, autonomous ownership of their soul. Most, of course, pay.

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Say Hi to the Spotted Hyena

The spotted hyena is also known, perhaps most famously, as the laughing hyena (Crocuta crocuta). This species once ranged throughout Eurasia, but following the end of the Ice Age was restricted to sub-Saharan Africa. Today they can be found in many types of dry, open habitat, including savannah, semi-desert, and mountain forests. At times, the spotted hyena may also enter urban areas in search of food.

Unlike other hyenas, Crocuta crotuta is a predator, not a scavenger. They most commonly prey on wildebeast, but they may also hunt zebra, gazelles, Cape buffalo, and warthog. In addition, desperate times may cause packs to hunt on more dangerous prey such as young hippopotamus, giraffe, and rhinoceros. Spotted hyenas have incredible endurance, reaching speeds of 60 km/hr (37 mph); a single chase can last over 24 km (14 miles). When live prey is scarce, the laughing hyena can also turn to carrion, as well as snakes and ostrich eggs. In turn, this species may be killed by lions, though this may be motivated more by competition than prey drive.

Spotted hyena females are typically larger than males, weighing 44.5–67.6 kg (98–149 lb) to the males' 40.5–69.2 kg (89.3–153 lb). The height range for both sexes lies between 70–91.5 cm (27.6–36.0 in). In addition, female laughing hyena are somewhat famous for their masculinated genetalia; the clitoris is enlarged, resembling a penis, and is accompanied by sacs filled with fibrous tissue that resemble a scrotum. As the name implies, the coat is light brown with darker spots over most of the body. Because the species has such a wide diet, it has was is considered to be the strongest in relation to size of any mammal. The bite force is stronger than that of a brown bear, and can exert a force of 4,500 newtons-- enough to crush bone.

The laughing hyena is a highly social animal, and individuals live in communities up to 80 strong; size largely depends on prey availability and whether or not the group migrates. A clan territory can be anywhere from 40 km (24 mi) to 1000 (621mi) squared. Females dominate the males, and a pack is usually led by a matriarch. Hierarchies are strictly enforced, and positions are primarily inherited through birth and transferred through death. In addition, one's rank is maintained and recognized through social alliances and their contributions to the clan rather than size or dominance displays. The entirety of the clan comes together most often when defending a territory, gathering at the communal den, or at a kill; however, these kills are more commonly produced from smaller offshoots of the clan.

Crocuta crotuta can breed year-round, though mating is at its peak during the wet season from April to June. Members of both sexes pair indiscriminately with multiple mates, both within their clan and without. To offer himself, the male performs a mating ritual in which he lowers himself to the ground before the female, and retreats if any aggression is shown. Once impregnated, the female carries for about 110 days before giving birth to two cubs-- three is fairly rare. Weaning takes another 14 to 18 months, during which time cubs learn to hunt and defend the clan, as well as establish their place in the social hierarchy. Sootted hyenas reach maturity at about 3 years old, and can live an average of 12 years in the wild, though individuals as old as 25 have been recorded.

Conservation status: The spotted hyena has been determined Least Concern by the IUCN. However, outside protected areas the population is declining due to deforestation and hunting as a nuisance species.

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Photos

Augusto Bila

Elise Pianegonda

Evie Davidian

Art Wolfe