#will do my very best not to post in a lame attempt at getting people to see this...

[bedforddanes75]

ok well (cowboys 😔😔) this sucks Just shoot me tbh. good god

[oweninadaydream]

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 || 𝐂𝐇.𝟐

summary : Jake cannot stop thinking about him. Jake cannot stop thinking about the first time he saw him. Jake cannot stop hating himself for what he is doing.

pairing : Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x male!character

word count : 2.5k

contains : allusions to sex, emotional distress, religious trauma, self-deprecating thoughts and yeah, basically the same warnings from part 1 haha.

a/n : Gif by @tay-swifts. Okay so rn for me it's 2:45 am so please ignore any incoherence or mistakes or if it's not as good as part 1. I hope yall don't hate me for not posting in so long, this is my attempt to go back into writing :)

“Seventy-nine. Down. Eighty. Down. Eighty-one. Down-” Maverick’s voice resonated inside the squad’s ear canal as he counted the number of push-ups they had done so far. This time they only had to do 100, but the heat and tiredness from all those previous hours spent in the air made the seemingly easy exercise a hellish torture. The concrete floor splattered with sweat drops falling from their foreheads was burning hot and their hands were begging to cease contact with the ground. All those physical stimuli did not possess enough power to distract Hangman from the million thoughts that flooded his mind ; the characteristic dullness of the exercise had sent him into a tortuous crisis full of some memories he didn’t want to relive and some others he wanted to relive so desperately that the realization that it was in fact impossible hurt him more than any wound acquired in the battlefield. 

After pushing his body back up from push-up number 92, he closed his eyes for a second and that was enough for a film-like reminiscence to start playing inside his head.

Speed. 100. 110. 120. 150. The tight grip to the steering wheel. Quick shallow breaths. Accelerated palpitations. Those were just some of the symptoms that showed his unnerved emotional state. Taking a right exit, he found himself entering the mysterious city of L.A ; coming from a Texan town, Los Angeles seemed like the capital of the unruly. Don't get him wrong, he has always been a menace himself, but big cities had always made him feel strangely small. 

He had no clue where he was going, but that's the thing about spontaneously bolting from base at 11 pm on a Friday. Hangman had no explicit motives to feel trapped within his routine; in fact, he thrived under strict organization (one of the many reasons why he decided to join the army), so what the hell was he doing? That was a question that was going to be left unanswered for now, so the next best thing was to find a distraction from the everlasting anger flooding his system.

He quickly realized that he had driven to a neighborhood full of pubs and bars decorated in colorful lights and full of people queuing to get in and have a drink or two, perhaps dance or make out too. His eyes also took in the many flags that hung from all of the buildings of the street; he recognized the gay flag but the rest, he could not tell what they represented. While staring at a pink, purple and blue one, he got blinded by a very powerful blue light, which made him stop abruptly. After it had dimmed down, he turned his head to identify where the light was coming from.

“Mon Ange” he mumbled to himself. His tired gaze revitalized at the hypnotic sight. If he had to be completely honest, he knew the reason why he fled the scene earlier that night. The truth was that he felt stuck, unable to move forward in life; something was missing but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was and the enigma was driving the pilot crazy. He was 35 and having an identity crisis, how lame was that? Looking at the people waiting to enter ‘Mon Ange’, he noticed that everyone was dressing so eccentrically, smiling so brightly and chatting so loudly; he was obviously not part of their community but, could a night in this place so out of character for him relax his mind enough to see things in a different light? He would get in, order a drink and head out, that’s it. Spending time in a place that was filled with strangers who did not have any type of expectations or preconceived ideas of him sounded nice enough to make the move.

The odor of alcohol and sweat flooded Jake’s nostrils as soon as he stepped in the club. The wide circle-shaped  room was packed to the brim but there was an upper floor with less people. The songs playing were not his style so he could not recognize the artists ; after scanning the place, he found the bartender. He got served pretty quickly and he could tell that his face card had made that happen. He did not find it in himself to order a fancy drink, so he settled for a beer. 

Looking for the bathroom, he stumbled with a semi-open door. Assuming it to be the toilet's entrance, he stepped into the dark room. He instinctively patted the wall in search of the switch, but there was not one to be found. Moans and other sounds Jake was no stranger to found their way to his ears, making him jump back and leave the room. Back in the hall, he was breathing unevenly, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

“How ya doin’, handsome? Too crowded for a pretty thing like you?” A decently buff (but not bigger than him), hairy man was leaning “seductively” towards him as he spoke. Jake felt pure disgust and indignation pooling in the lower part of his stomach ; he could see how his presence in a place with such characteristics could lead up to certain conclusions but, approaching him like that was so out of line. The stranger’s gaze made him feel like a piece of meat and he was momentarily struck with the thought of whether he had ever made a girl feel similarly.

“Fuck off, asshole. Fuck around and find out.” Jake pushed him away so he could escape the situation he found himself in. His harsh frown warned the other man to stay away unless he wanted to leave the place with a black eye. After making it out of those suffocating halls, he decided to leave ; this whole idea had been pure foolery motivated by how lost he was feeling in life.  

Searching frantically for the exit door, his eyes landed on a couple shamelessly flirting and exchanging caresses of all kinds. The sparks in their eyes seemed genuine and that made the pilot sigh in a longing manner. Jake shook his head in order to try to slow down the speeding and confusing thoughts running though his mind. Suddenly, an entrancing voice started directing its words at him. He had been so focused on the couple by the bar that he didn’t process what the handsome- handsome?- stranger was trying to tell him. It couldn’t be anything good, based on his concerned facial expressions that Jake could barely make up because of the lighting of the room.

“Sorry, what?” he mumbled while finally setting his confused and dissociated gaze on the other man.

“I’m (Y/N), I saw you walking down the hallway back there and you seemed…” he hesitated, trying to find the best adjective to describe it. “distressed. Just wanted to make sure that you were ok. You’re not from around here, are you? And if I’m correct, you’re by yourself. This place can be overwhelming when you come for the first time”

Jake could feel the way his eyes widened at the words of the man standing in front of him. (Y/N)’s smile invited him to open up, to share the deepest and darkest parts of himself; but the pilot was no fool and quickly activated his protective shields again. He began to excuse himself after clearing his throat, lowering his voice an octave unconsciously “Thank man but I just entered because I had a problem with my car and it was the only place open at this time and I need to go back to my…”

“Calm down hahaha, I am not the police, don’t have to justify yourself. As to the car thing, the manager that runs this place knows a thing or two about cars. Is the dark green one yours?” Jake nodded, dumbstruck by the casual nature of this encounter “Fabio will help you for sure. If you want I can go look for him and you’ll be on your way in no time” Another grin took possession of the younger man’s lips.

Jake’s cheeks began to change colors into a pretty obvious red. He had created a lie that he could not follow with; how was he supposed to get out of that very uncomfortable moment? Fuck, fuck, fuck “I, eh…” It was not very often that Seresin ran out of things to say; his squad wouldn’t let him hear the end of it if they were witnesses to this pathetic scene.

“Look I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing here but it’s okay, alright? We don’t know each other so I cannot snitch to anyone about you being here; not that I would if we did know each other. Here” he looked in his black bag and took out a water bottle “I sneak these all the time, they’re expensive as fuck in here” a smirk accompanied the confession, giving Jake the sensation of being his partner in crime.

He took the drink and chugged it down in an instant “Thanks for everything you’ve done for me tonight, really appreciate it. I don’t think I’ll come round here any time soon but I owe you big-time”

“How about you tell me your name?” a playful but still innocent gaze stole Jake’s breath away. Fuck, how rude had he been? He hadn’t introduced himself back in the club and this person had gotten out of their way to help him. His southern heart shrinked at such an impolite act; this was definitely not meemaw approved but at the end of the day, none of this whole night was.

“Excuse me, Jake Seresin”

“Nice to meet you, Jake Seresin” he chuckled. “Well, I guess this is where we part ways, isn’t it? And don’t worry, you don’t actually owe me anything.”

“There must be something I can do. Where I’m from, you show your gratitude to the people who’ve helped you yknow”

“Here” as if it were the most natural thing, M/N took the blonde’s hand and wrote down his number. “If you’re ever in trouble again or you just want to chat, here’s my number. And don’t worry, no second intentions or anything included, just think you’re cool and could use a friend round here” he clarified after taking a look at Jake’s conflicted face. Despite the alarm in his head stating very loudly that he had to get out of there as soon as possible, he let the other man take his hand in his for a second too long. Jake was no shy person but the questionable tension in that moment crossed a very clear line that had been established many years ago and was irremovable now. Breaking their little bubble, Jake nervously searched for his car keys as he thanked M/N and wished him a great night.

While driving away, the rear-view mirror captured M/N’s image, framing his still figure in the small reflecting surface for Jake to stare at, making him ignore the clearly red light and almost crash with a grey truck whose driver shouted every single insult under the sun at him. But the lieutenant could not care any less, his worries laid elsewhere. What the fuck had happened tonight? He found himself desperately trying to make some sense of his decision-making process-

“HANGMAN” 

Startled at the mention of his name in such a shrill manner, Jake regained control of his body and mind which had traveled to the past for quite a while, for he could not recall when they had stopped training and had gotten inside, taking turns to shower in the base’s facilities. “The day you stop annoying me, Rooster, hell will freeze over” he grumpily murmured, but with no real meanness behind his words.

“You’ve been acting very strangely, Hangman, and not in your usual weird way” Bradley narrowed his eyes as if it would allow him to access Jake's deepest thoughts that were apparently holding him hostage. After Jake had rolled his eyes and dropped some sarcastic comments about his “stupid ass moustache”, he decided he would let it slide, for now. “Anyway, you’re comin’ tonight, aren’t you?”

“Nah, gotta do some paperwork and prepare for tomorrow’s session” he discarded the offer quickly.

“C’mon don’t be such a pussy, man” another of his coworkers commented from nearby.

The way he slammed the locker’s door provoked a loud bang that made everyone turn their heads to see what was going on in that part of the locker room “Who the fuck has said that shit? I ain’t gonna let you live, motherfucker” and just like a bull ready to kill, only seeing red, he started to search for the idiot who had decided to speak and make a comment he definitely did not need to hear at the moment “don't hide now, who.was.it?”

“Hey Jake, calm down man, it was just a joke, what the hell? “Rooster questioned, absolutely puzzled at his mate’s reaction; it was just common locker room jargon, they often teased each other or said something dumb about their dicks or something like that, and Jake would often reply with a laugh or an equally offensive response so, something was definitely wrong with the normally nonchalant Hangman.

Shrugging off the hand Roosted had placed on his shoulder to ground him, Jake picked his bag and stormed off huffing and cursing under his breath. After having reached his car, his forehead was pressed against the steering wheel and his eyes were shut closed; breath for 3 seconds, hold it in for 4 seconds and exhale for 7 seconds. This was a technique he learnt when he was young to repress any anxiety or panic attack that tried to break the controlled facade he showed his family, the church, his superiors and his friends. A frustrated groan escaped Jake’s sealed lips, a clear sign of all that pent up frustration.

His phone buzzing caught his attention and decided to take a look. The three messages appearing in the lock screen where all from the only person who could make him feel okay again but also, this person was the one who had triggered this chaos  he had so carefully repressed in order to create the perfect persona; a masculine, chill guy who walked through life as if he had everything under control, when in reality he was a 36 year old full of pain and doubts that the church, his family and the army had made sure to reinforce. 

Texts from M/N:

M/N : hey, you forgot your sweatshirt at my place

M/N : are you going to Mon Ange next saturday? I can hand it to you then. Yknow, that day’s theme is cowboys and I’d kill to see you even with just a fake cowboy hat 

M/N: you can teach me how the Two Step thing works ;) no pressure tho, as always <3

Jake S. : wouldn’t miss it for the world, get your boots ready.

This was like being stuck in a car with no brakes and Jake had decided to try and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasted.

[obsidianpen]

Question: there’s been a lot of talk online and sometimes on your blog about Greyana, they’ve been accused of plagiarism, using AI, and bots.

(Sorry, this isn’t a name and shame on them, nor do I want to put you in the hot seat so you can delete the ask if you don’t want to answer.) ❤️

I was wondering what exactly you knew/heard about the author or if you have any experiences with them? Or if this is just lore floating around in the fandom???

oh no, put me in the hot seat, I’m here for it at this point.

So. I hadn’t heard of greyana until, months ago, some anons on here asked me how I felt about the writer who was allegedly using AI and stealing from my fic, and others, to make their own. I kind of laughed it off then, but then someone sent me the link to Invictus so I checked to see. I read a chapter or so (skipping to when hermione met Tom because that feels like a good measure for a tomione fic) and honestly, I was not impressed. But I also wasn’t sure it was AI, as I know nothing about what AI sounds like. So I just thought, eh, it’s just a bad fanfic, but whatever, to each their own. Moved on. And that may have been the end of it.

however.

I could not escape this fucking fic! I kept seeing it everywhere. Recc’d in these various pockets of the internet. I was in a tomine fb group for a hot minute and i swear a gushing invictus review came up every few days. And every time i thought, am i just lame? Do I not get it? And I’d look at that fic for a minute again and think nope, it’s still not good. Whatever, people can like what they want. Moved on.

however.

I kept hearing shit. Being sent reddit posts where users that were probably bots would praise invictus and compare it to blood and gold and blast my work all in the same sentence. And ugggh did that irk me! You can praise a story without tearing others down! But people usually defended me on Reddit, which was so nice, so I always let it go.

however! it just never ended. I have a TikTok I don’t post on but when I’d get on there it was endless posts about and by greyana. Which, again, fine, people can post what they want. But then one day I changed my username to obsidianpen and I stopped seeing those posts. I thought, how refreshing. But it was because she blocked me. I have never once interacted with her. I’ve never even made a post on TikTok and my account is private. She’s blocked almost every tomione writer. Now why would she do that?

then, most recently, that Reddit post attempting to accuse me of using AI in 2017 lmao. The post was removed but very likely it was greyana.

so, that’s my ‘history’. I’ve never interacted with her and haven’t talked openly about her and her writing until now. Because I am firmly a ‘dont like don’t read’ person. But that’s not what’s happening here. Based on all the evidence (oh - they also posted an ungodly amount of words in a super short time frame apparently, which is also suspicious), greyana is, at best, a super pushy mediocre writer who uses bots and tears down other writers in the fandom. At worst, and which is very likely, she does all the above as well as steals work from others and use AI, then plays the victim when they’re called out.

phew! That was a lot. But there you have it, that’s my experience.

[dagbert-endless]

with all due disrespect (which is all of it), I hate art I I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art I hate art!!!!! So here's my ocs but woe, picrews be upon ye

For context, the story is that these 5 were all at the same endowed school (St. Claire's) until one of them transferred to Bloor's in the 4th book.

In order from CotRK OC I made first to newest OC:

link to picrew

Starting with Tanya! Her endowment was to feel other people's emotions, which was toooootally not a ripoff of Gabe's lmfao. So I used the Springhole Superpower Generator and now her endowment is that she can detect when someone is (intentionally) lying. It's not the best power, but there's worse coming up so she's pretty mid as an ally.

Tanya is a basic bitch. She's a cheerful girl and incredibly fucking stupid, but also incredibly fucking optimistic.

At 12, Tanya's the youngest endowed at St. Claire's but average at Bloor's.

Tanya is one of two Good kids, so between this and her age she isn't close friends with any of the other ocs. She looks up to Annie, but Annie isn't interested in a twerp like her.

If Tanya moved to the King's city, it would be because her parents divorced and she followed her mom when she moved away. At Bloor's, she'd be in Drama but wouldn't be very good at it.

Tanya's impact on the canon story would be the most minimal. She'd get along well with the other Good kids, but lacks the power to change anything to come.

link to picrew

Second oc is Isadore. I made him when I was a kid and thought you could use moonlight to start fires the way you can with sunlight, so his endowment was manipulating moonlight and he used that to set stuff on fire. By 2020 I knew you could not actually do that. Instead, I opted to keep the endowment of "moonlight manipulation" but he starts fires the way any other person would, with matches.

Today, Isadore... isn't much different to his 2020 counterpart. The general idea behind his endowment is that it's actually pretty lame. He glows and at night he can move moonlight like it's something physical to wave around like a flashlight. His only use is saving the money on buying a real flashlight.

He is extremely nocturnal, and in the daytime he's always falling asleep somewhere. At St. Claire's, he is failing his classes and relies on his friends to keep him educated enough to not get held back (it is not working). At night, he stops feeling so drowsy and can actually Do Things. Unfortunately, most of the other kids are sleeping. One stays up late and one wakes up early to hang out with him, otherwise he misses out on most of what goes on between the endowed.

If Isadore transferred to Bloor's, it would be after he failed his entire grade and his parents decide to throw him in a different school as a weak attempt to fix it. At Bloor's, he'd be in Art. He'd be a decent artist, but only when he can do the project at night and turn it in the next morning. Otherwise, his paintings are all aimless squiggles where he passed out and let the paintbrush roll away.

Isadore's impact on the canon story would also be pretty minimal. He'd sit with the Evil endowed but not get to hang out with any of them very often.

no picrew link because I forced myself to draw this and I'm not wasting all the time I spent to not post it

This is Garnet. He's an oc that I revamped in 2020 to be a CotRK oc, but he wasn't originally a CotRK oc. So he was fandomless -> CotRK -> fandomless -> CotRK.

Garnet's the ""leader"" of the evil endowed at St. Claire's, in that he's one starting most of the beef and telling the other four what to do. His beef with the good kids is part them foiling his plots and part personal beef with one of the good kids not in this post.

Garnet's a shapeshifter. Because he needs to eat more to have the energy to shift (idea "stolen" from B lmao) + he stays up late, he doesn't often do much actual shifting. He can, but it's taxing the more he does it.

Garnet's family has an interest in "collecting" magical objects, and have been for many years. None of the kids are allowed to use any of them until they graduate school, so Garnet doesn't get access to them at any point.

A moderate amount of conflict, at either school, comes from Garnet deciding to steal from other people and the good side putting a stop to it.

If Garnet transferred to Bloor's, it'd be because his parents dragged him to the city while hunting for something mystical and probably not real. His parents only send him to Bloor's because of their Drama department; Garnet's siblings all go to normal school.

Of all my ocs, Garnet would have the biggest impact on the story. He'd be an antagonistic klepto whose shifting powers aid the Bloors well. Despite it, evil would still lose and his family would leave after the final battle.

Picrew link

Moving on to OCs I created just this year in a previous failed attempt to make CotRK ocs from scratch, it's Aneira (Ann/Annie for short).

Her endowment is control over ice, snow, and cold.

Annie and Azalea used to be girlfriends, and I'll elaborate on that later, but Annie is still bitter about the breakup and often targets both Aza and anyone Aza dates.

Unlike Garnet and Finley, Annie doesn't care about Isadore enough to stay awake to talk to him. She's a snob about endowments, if you don't have a powerful one she isn't interested in you at all. As a result, whichever side has the greatest amount of "impressive" endowments is the one she sides with. At both schools, it's the evil side.

If Annie moved to the City, it'd be because her parents found a nicer home their current one (probably in the Heights) and they moved. She would be in Music and be decent at it.

Her impact on the story would be minimal, though it's likely she'd delay things with a heavy blizzard or two if she got pissed enough.

by this point I'm sick of picrew so here's a quick shitty doodle from like May

Last but not least, Azalea.

This roll gave Aza her powers, but tbh talking about her with B is how she got fleshed out.

Azalea is a good kid. She's never killed anyone and doesn't wish to. If need be, she'll drain energy until someone passes out, but she won't hurt them.

Her endowment works by touch, and as a result she covers most of her body in clothing. Annie's the kind of girlfriend that clings like your tongue to ice, so it infuriated her that she couldn't kiss Aza for very long before getting drowsy, that she couldn't hold Aza's hand without someone wearing gloves, etc and she initiated the breakup.

Aza dresses like an edgelord, but she's really just a poser. She's quite nice and kindhearted and firmly on the good side.

If Aza moved to the City, it'd be because one of her parents had to relocate for their job. At Bloor's, she'd be in Music but only kinda meh at it.

She'd help the good side as much as she could, but ultimately nothing changes too drastically.

[andrew-thy-accursed]

hello to my favouriteee black metal artist on tumblr ( artist as in like, art artist not music artist lolol )

just took a peak at the posts about your blog on that sub and holy fuck do the people commenting on it sound like total losers lolol! some of them sound straight up thirteen… or people who just never matured, i suppose… anyways, sorry you had to turn off your anon for the time being but it was probably for the best as to just let this storm of losers from reddit blow over… those comments from the person who posted you saying your art is not even good is so delusional, i have people who i dislike but that i can very much still admit that they make good things like art or music! sure, they can dislike you and what you do on here but saying your art is not good is just a straight up lie! anyone with eyes can see that your art is beyond amazing and you clearly have so much talent in the art field… also what the hell was with them constantly calling you “ girlie ” and “ girl ” ? they want to call other people cringe but seemingly cannot read their own comments where they type like a young teen attempting to be sassy…

i honestly cannot believe they have not posted anything from my blog on there yet, they seem to love posting fanfiction about band members! hello blackmetalcringe reddit users, post all about me on there if you would like to! my black metal fanfiction blog is @world0fmadness and i will be completely unbothered by you losers! i would actually love to see what little quips you guys can come up with and what names you think will hurt me the most

but yeah, sending love and hugs to you! fuck ‘em right up the ass with a sword because they will never be as awesome as you are <3

Hiiiii, thank you so much,,

And yeah they do. Sometimes I wonder if it's just other teenagers insulting each other and adults because it's behavior that's just like the mean girls who would go to my highschool..."you can't sit with us" type shit yk?

With regard to the art comments...if I don't like someone I tend to not even touch that with a 30 ft pole...because I know I'm skilled at art!! And their comments on me being "shit" does nothing but hurt other artists who are just as skilled or less skilled! Like damn!! The girlie thing I just think was mean girl behavior because what else could it be 😭 unless that OP knew I was trans bc if so then we're gonna have transphobia (which is typical) 😂 But I try to even give people who hate me some benefit of the doubt/good faith because if I can't even approach someone else's hostility with good faith I can't ask for that faith back. (In my experience, but it's something I gotta get better on lol)

And if you do get posted I wish you luck lol 😂😂 I get death threats and SH threats in my inbox from time to time and i delete them right off the bat because it's not even any fun!! Like just the old "Kys" that's all you got??? Not even gonna make it fun and detailed? Lame if you ask me

thank you for the hugs and support though I really appreciate the love 😭🖤🤲

[entre-isaac]

I am so tired of AI, already.

I’m sure that I’m just beating a dead horse by ranting about this. I’m not very active on here, so I am sorry if this has already been talked about a million times by people far better spoken and well known than me. But I wasn’t sure of a better outlet for my frustrations than here.

AI is so fucking disgusting. It’s so ugly. It’s lame. It’s lazy. It’s harmful.

(In case it needs said, I’m referring specifically to AI ‘art’ and media, not useful functions for AI like GPS or search engines, etc.)

I know it’s petty and useless, but any time I come across a single AI-generated post on here, TikTok, Facebook, etc, I report and block the posts. They make me irrationally angry. Especially when they aren’t labeled as AI. Especially when the gullible and uninformed commenters are none the wiser, usually older generations who aren’t aware of what AI even is, but sometimes they’re even fooling younger audiences.

I can’t express the rage I feel when I see some ugly ass fucked up looking ‘baby bat’ and see the comments flooded with old people going ‘isn’t our creator just wonderful,’ and ‘all of god’s creations are beautiful.’ bitch that isn’t ‘god’s’ creation, that’s a computer’s best attempt at mimicking reality.

And don’t even get me started on all those goddamn filters on tiktok, or the ‘what if ___ was a dark fantasy animation.’

I wish people would stop using it. I know they never will. I know that the world we’re entering is an AI- centric future. It breaks my heart thinking about much harder it’s going to be for new artists to gain the attention and credit they deserve, when it’s already hard enough now while AI is still new and evolving. I know we can’t be far off from the first AI-only developed feature film or show.

For now, all we can do is resist. Don’t interact with AI content — not even to call it out or protest. Negative engagement is still engagement. It still boosts the accounts posting the AI bullshit. Just block the accounts, report them if they aren’t properly labeling things as AI or if they’re stealing from existing real artists. Don’t use the stupid ass TikTok filters that turn you into the shittiest possible ‘anime’ character or ‘Disney’ character. They literally all look stupid and the result is never anything shocking. This includes those dumbass meme posts where they input ridiculous things into chatgpt and share the results. They’re still profiting off of AI, even if it’s just for jokes.

[dark-elf-writes]

I have never consumed any ff7 media outside what you’ve talked about so here are my assumptions and thoughts on your au built around my very very very limited knowledge (pt 1):

Turks are a thing here. Is this like a post apocalyptic world where only Turkish people survived?

Or is this like a human classification type deal? Or a group?

Local small blond child is being raised by the best Turk. Is he the best at being Turkish or the best at being good? Very important. Ik one Turkish person and I hate them (derogatory x100) so this will affect my opinion of this man (?)

What tf is mako

Why is it in this child’s eyes

Are they mermaids? Have I missed their mermaid tails in fanart? Mako mermaid powers?

Is it magic? Fantasy crack? Secret government shit you shoot up in a back alley for a power up?

There’s a person (?) named Reno that’s probably rly fun to piss off

If angels exist here did Jesus? Did this Jesus have a sword?

Why does this Vincent person need to be tricked out of a box? Is he a cat perhaps?

Why is a blond child setting things on fire to wake someone up? A little extreme but it has spirit.

And why is the person in need of being woken up sleeping in a box? I’m not positive this Vincent isn’t a cat. Are Turks cats? Cat-boys?

The box was a coffin. A little dramatic considering he clearly isn’t dead. Like just get an eye mask fr.

He a vampire or some shit? Did they make him a vampire because he’s Turkish? Did they put him in a box because he’s Turkish? That’s rude

Oh there was a lock

If a tiny blond could break it I’m not convinced this Turkish cat couldn’t do it too

Whoever this hojo mf is I hope they know I’m watching their ass and am in full support of their murder

Who’s chaos and why are they in the Turkish cats head? Is this a naruto situation? Are they paying rent? Is this why Vincent was locked in a coffin?

Is shinra the government or something? An organization? The group of this hojo mf

There’s aliens now?

The alien is wrecking the world AGAIN? As in once the first timeline and now here? Or they wrecked it once already and are coming back for fun?? Do aliens not have anything better to do. So fucking lame.

If I saw an alien trying to wreck my plants shit I’d simply say “that’s loser behavior” and leave.

They’d be so stunned by my confidence they’d just have to stop

Ff7 is frankly just wild trying to explain to someone in general but in the broadest of strokes I can say that the Turks are basically spies/assassins/what have you for the evil uber corporation (Shinra) that is fucking up the planet. Mako is in essence the lifeblood of the planet that said evil corporation make into “renewable energy” (its not and is in fact just trying to heal the planet from the fucked up alien (JENOVA) thousands of years ago before he was banished to the timeout pit and unfortunately unearthed by you guessed it the evil corporation) and makes the very few people who don’t like die immediately insanely strong/fast/etc while also making their eyes glow. It’s weird to see on a child basically only seen by Shinras elite fighting force (SOLDIERs) and therefore worth mentioning a lot. Vincent was technically dead or at least was very much hardcore attempted murdered before being experimented on getting Chaos and a hand full of other murderous entities shoved inside of him by Hojo (evil scientist for evil company) who is basically the reason the alien was able to fuck shit up so bad in canon/the first time around in this au by implanting her cells into his unborn son. Vincent chose a coffin for a guilt/depression nap after he did and didn’t die a la a certain cat.

That’s the barest of bones not going into the whole eco terrorism weird soul bond mommy issues memory/identity theft and the cat robot… or the clones… or

Also the mind control there’s a lot of that too

Yeah it’s a lot.

[phxntomsdusk]

So you're sirenbrainrot

okay so i didn’t expect this question to ever come up but yes, i was sirenbrainrot. i’ve attempted to put all of that behind me because i am insanely ashamed for my past on that account.

i had interacted with nsfw on that account, talked to people about it, without realizing how fucked up it was for a minor to be invading adult spaces like that.

i know i can make plenty of excuses about this, and i don’t think i can avoid the truth further, so i might as well say everything as to why i had done that before but why i’ve changed now.

when using that account i had been going through an extremely rough time mentally. i had been recovering and thinking through some shit that had happened in a previous relationship related to sexual assault and manipulation.

through this i realized im hypersexual yet asexual. its tough for me to deal with and i dislike myself for it. i thought the best way to deal with this was simply by voicing my thoughts, maybe if i got everything out there and read stuff it would make me feel better. but it didn’t.

i had brought down people with me and ruined many friendships i had gained, and i am taking full blame for that. i was a minor invading adults spaces simply because i didn’t know how to properly express what i was feeling, and thought that would be the best way out of it.

after the entire abby situation, i had spoken with a close friend of mine on it, and wanted to change myself for the better. one of my coping mechanisms is writing, which is why i love publishing in tumblr and wattpad, it gives me a place to express this.

i had completely stopped interacting with nsfw posts and reading any, since i’ve found that i didn’t actually enjoy it, i just enjoyed the thought of having something to distract my brain from everything that had been going on.

like i said it’s a bunch of lame and dumb excuses, but i am genuinely different from how i was on that account.

nsfw makes me uncomfortable and i hate that i’ve found myself falling back into that cycle of talking to adults about it, simply because i want to feel validated for what has happened in the past.

my hypersexuality is something i struggle to talk about and struggle to find ways to cope, meaning i would just indulge in that stuff for hours on end hoping to get my “fix” and feel better about myself.

i don’t want anyone to pity me for my feelings or think i’m being not genuine, because i truly mean it when i say i’m sorry and i’ve changed.

sirenbrainrot is not who i want to be anymore. sirenbrainrot was me invading the safe spaces of those who made it clear they didn’t want minors in their space.

i had hurt people and i feel horrible about it every day, i would love to reach out and apologize but i know no matter what i did what i had done, and there is no excuses.

i could sit here and say i’m only a kid and don’t know any better, but i do. the only thing that prompted me to act this way was personal issues i wasn’t voicing properly, and ended up making things so much worse for everyone who had been involved in that account.

i’ve done my best to put that past me and try to turn a new leaf, if you will. i strictly read and write sfw, i’ve voiced my thoughts and struggles with close trusted friends, and i’ve taken time to truly think over my actions.

i’m truly sorry for those who i’ve made uncomfortable, i’m sorry for people who i invaded on the siren account, just know i’m very different now and i stand by that.

[shzmluvrs]

I had the request screenshotted, but I lost it in my gallery after deleting a bunch of stuff for storage space and can't find it, sooo... my fault, shawty😗.

~ Star✨️

Unexceptable

(but not for the reasons you think, don't trip)

Prompt: Study date turned movie night? I think, yes. Except, obviously, it's not a date. You guys have established that within yourselves multiple times over the period of being assigned this project. So then, why does it feel like a date? And why didn't you think about doing the unthinkable before you did it? Why would you- Oh, nevermind, he liked it.

Timeline: Post S!:FOTG

TW/Content:⚡️These bitches gay. Good for them. Good for them⚡️Cursing⚡️Mentions of struggle/confusion with identity and sexuality⚡️Mentions of death (in a jokey way, you'll see/be able to tell the context, don't worry)⚡️Billy being maybe slightly OOC?? But also maybe not

Reader: Male! He/Him/His Pronouns! LGBTQ+!

Requested By: @bansheecries

Back To Master List

Before the teacher could even call your name, your hand shot up into the air. She stared at you behind her glasses, unsure of whether or not she should bother before inevitably doing so.

"Yes, (Y/N)?"

"Can I work by myself?"

Normally, the sudden attention of all of your peers would make you want to gag and recluse. But, you were willing to ignore it this time, seeing as working with some random classmate you didn't even get to pick seemed a lot worse.

"Well, honey, it's a group project. You can't do all of that work on your own."

'Oh, yes, the hell I can...' Was your thought to her innocent attempt at persuasion. On top of the anxiety working with a stranger caused you, you also knew that if you were stuck off with the wrong people, you'd most likely end up doing all of the work anyway. And get a lower percentage of the credit.

Screw that.

"It's fine, I just really wanna work on my own." You attempted twice, and the teacher still wouldn't buy it as she offered up a compromise.

"How about you just work with a partner, instead? There isn't enough to make equal groups of four, anyway, so... uhh..." She scanned down her list of student's names, stopping when she was satisfied with her choice.

"Billy Batson. You two can work together!"

You couldn't and didn't even look in his direction, not wanting to see whatever reaction it was that he had to this bit of information. You also refused to look in order to hide your own response, absolutely sure your body would just rat you out with the glowing red of your cheeks or the nervous shake of your hands.

Although, you supposed that this was what you deserved for being picky in the first place. Now left with the unavoidable predicament of working with your year long hallway crush, you figured you might as well make the best of it. Besides, you didn't even know if he was...

If he was part of...

He didn't even give off that vibe if you were honest with yourself. And you couldn't draw on whether or not he'd, at the very least, even be an ally. What would crush you is if he wasn't. And what would kill you is if he was in the community and just not into you.

So your "best of it" was essentially just getting free, extra eye-candy, at the low, low price of doing some lame school project.

What could go wrong?

"Now, class, I want you all to really focus on working through this over your weekend! It's due Monday afternoon, and not a minute later, so I don't wanna hear any 'Oh, I didn't have the time...!' excuses!"

"Hey..."

You practically jumped out of your seat at the sudden greeting, not even processing that it was Billy's voice until you looked up to meet his emerald eyes.

God, had he always been that tall?

"Yeah, what's up?" Was your painfully played off "nonchalant" response, as if you weren't literally scrambling to gather your loose items together and hold eye contact at the same time.

"I know we could just do this online, or whatever, but I've never really been good at the whole research thing... so, d'you wanna just hang and do it at my place?"

You could only stare, like a deer caught in headlights at his invitation that had ceased any movements you were making to a full stop while the class continued to chatter in their boisterous cliques and groups.

"Huh...?"

"The project." Billy clarified, hoping he wasn't being too quiet for you to hear. He was aware of his tendency to pose as a little distant. Maybe even shy. But with you, he hoped to possibly strive for some sort of friendship outside of his siblings and goddesses (a.k.a. Anthea, unknowingly to the average citizen, of course). He was never around in a single place long enough to actually form a connection, and now that he had been, he figured being partnered up with one person rather than thrusted into a group seemed to be more his speed.

Plus, Billy was intrigued with you enough as it is, always catching your eyes staring into his before you'd quickly look away. Or whenever you'd pass him, there'd be a sudden tension he couldn't place that was gone just as fast it came. Weird, at first, which was what anyone would think. But later on, as spoken...

Intriguing.

"Oh, yeah. Sure, I can do that." You nodded, flushing away any previous anxieties while Billy's lips pulled into the tiniest of smiles.

"Cool. Just meet me outside when school let's out, we'll just walk."

And with that, he was heading back towards his desk, leaving you to anticipate the future events of this afternoon.

The bell rang. Last period...

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

It came and went, all thirty minutes of your eighth period class spent with your heart pounding outside against your ribcage and your palms sweating. You would've wiped the denim from your jeans away if it were possible, given how many times you'd run your hands against them. You couldn't even focus on the lesson, repeating in your head all of the things you could and should say and do.

Reminding yourself to act "normal" whatever that truly meant. It was times like these you struggled the most with being at peace with your identity. Technically, you were out. But it wasn't like everyone knew that, nor cared. And for those who did care, it was usually in a negative aspect that left you feeling isolated and abnormal.

But at the same time... you could be thinking about this all too deeply. It was just a harmless crush, and you knew nothing was likely to come of it. You relaxed yourself as you walked through the halls of Fawcett Central, knowing that whatever was meant to happen would. And that it wouldn't happen if you couldn't handle it.

Deep breaths. In, and out...

"Oh, so you're definitely (Y/N)...!"

You were taken aback by such a statement. Was it... obvious? Then again, who else would you be? But still-

"'Sup." You greeted with a head nod, the boy coated in blue returning it with an excited grin and a knowing point. You recognized him but couldn't place his name. A frequent target of the fraternal Breyer twins, the kid who was friends with superheroes, has a whole YouTube account dedicated to The Human Powerstorm...

"Y'know, Billy's been talking about you non-stop, and honeslty... I thought you'd be-"

"Shut up, Freddy..." Billy demanded though his teeth, sending his brother a nudge to the side.

Oh, there it is. That was his name.

. . .wait, what? Thought you'd be what...?!

"What, dude?! I was just gonna say I thought he'd be taller."

Oh, okay.

"We're the same height." Billy grumbled once more, rolling his eyes while you continued to stare. He stated a fact you didn't even realize, always having just assumed Billy was taller than you. But you supposed, now with the both of you standing, you were about the same height. Ideal for hugging.

You shook your head at the last thought, an intrusive one that made you grow hot at just the thought. Instead, you played it off as amusement, adding a shrug and a chuckle along with as you spoke up.

"It's fine, dude. It could be worse. We could be getting mistaken for sixth graders."

There was a pause in the air, the brothers staring until Freddy's smirk grew into a genuine (and... unique) laugh.

"I like this guy!" Was his announcement, throwing an arm around your shoulders. "I totally get why you two got paired up, now."

"Right..."

Billy seemed a little less than enthusiastic about the statement, but only because he'd wished Freddy would remove his arm from around you. He didn't know you like that, and he was already praying things wouldn't be awkward. Especially with his family.

Not that... Billy himself knew you that well, either. Regardless, he stared daggers and was only back to feeling content when Freddy finally dropped it and turned the conversation to the both of you rather than simply bombarding you with a million different questions.

Not that you minded, simply enjoying the walk to their house and seeing this as an opportunity to make new friends, get closer to more people. Certain people. Plus, Freddy's constant sly jokes eased your nerves, making it easy for you to use them as a launchpad in talking to Billy. He was happy to reciprocate whenever he could, but still remained somewhat reserved.

Neither you nor Freddy could truly place why, exactly. But it didn't last long as you approached their large home, yourself gazing up at it while the brothers entered ahead.

"Fair warning, my siblings are... I dunno, they're insane. So just, like... ignore them." Was Billy's slightly ominous warning, which left you to laugh in the slightest in understanding.

"Sure thing."

Your one instructed task to ignore his family was something you failed at almost instantly. How could you when one was cushions deep into the couch, yelling at his switch? Another hurriedly sweeping piles of confetti under a rug in hopes for her mess not to be seen. Two more arguing who gets to pick the next song while Freddy was quick to join the chaos, wandering in between them as if he were the true mediator of the bunch.

And then, the oldest two adults in the house, which you assumed had to be the parents, came into view in hopes to reorganize the child-ridden living room. The perfect chance for Billy to slip you by and upstairs to his room. No one noticing, no one stopping the two of you and causing a scene about the whole ordeal...

"C'mon, let's go." The brunette whispered, eagerly letting you walk ahead as if he were almost trying to push you up the steps.

"Oh, hey, kiddo! How was school?"

"Billy, who's your friend?"

Shit.

"Oh, he's-... We're just partners for a school thing, it's...not a big deal."

Rosa didn't believe that not one bit. Well, the school project made total sense, but the way she watched her son fidget around you nervously and refused to make eye contact, for fear of showing off the red glow of his cheeks, made it evident his feelings resided in hopes of being much more than "school partners".

Victor, on the other hand, thought nothing of it. Elated at the fact that such a partnership could breed new grounds for a potential friendship outside of someone already living in the house. He just needed to instill some much needed confidence and encouragement into his son, and all would be well.

"Ah! I remember those days...!" Victor sighed fondly. "You boys just let me know if you need any help. I happen to know my way around a marker and some glitter, courtesy of Darla."

"Dad, no, please..." Billy began, Darla peaking her head from around the corner of the den at the mention of her name.

"It's just research, we'll be fine."

"I actually... don't mind glitter..." You spoke up with a smile, already amused with the dynamics going on around you. But a quick glance in Billy's direction made you shrug, his joking glare meeting your (E/C) eyes, causing your opinion to change.

"But just research is fine, too."

"Of course." Victor nodded, turning and gesturing towards the boy in blue. He had regretfully gotten himself in the middle of Pedro and Mary's playlist argument, trying his very hardest to play "Keep Away" with the iPod held high above his head and waving it around wildly to avoid snatches and grabs. It was only when he heard his name that he paused, Mary taking the opportunity to yank the device away as he stared.

"Freddy is the one you go to for that. Or Mary, but I think she's busy."

"Well, good thing he has me." Billy retorted, a murmur that was laced with irritation and yet still caused the heat to rise to your cheeks. If you were already this flustered at simple and more than likely meaningless words and slight glances, you didn't have a clue as to how you were going to make it through the next couple of hours.

But, you weren't really left with much of an option, Rosa swift to intervene as she ushered you two away and up the stairs.

"Why don't you two just go on and get started. I'll just check on you later and bring snacks or something, okay? Okay, have fun!"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Though Billy thought "fun" was near impossible given the circumstances, he wasn't shocked at the fact that your presence was making this all a little more bearable.

A lot more bearable, quickly discovering and admiring how efficient you were with your half of the project. Researching and rewording information seemed to be an ease for you, so much so that you were even able to multitask. Holding an entire conversation with Billy about something completely unrelated while leaving him to focus on the more visually appealing, creative bit of the presentation.

Of course, bliss would never last for as long as he'd hoped, Freddy consistently trying to barge in and join in on the bonding or offering uneeded advice. To both of you, on what should go where and what should be said about your school project. And to Billy, separately, his brother having already assumed the most intense of interests you could have in another person; a crush.

Or when Rosa would pop her head in, ever so curious as to what the two of you were up to, seeing if you were hungry and whatnot. As well as to shoot Billy knowing glances and encouraging thumbs up.

He would brush away the both of them, further amusing you and raising your hopes up in the matter that maybe Billy wasn't just eyecandy. That maybe you really did have a chance, if you played your cards just right. But, you also figured maybe right now wasn't the time. The circumstances incorrect.

'Just work on being his friend, first.' You thought. 'Don't blow it before you even have a chance.'

Even with such self-instruction, it was still hard. Hard to just want to be Billy's friend when everything that happened between the two of you insinuated more. At least, that's what you thought whenever your hands would lightly brush up against one another's. Sharing a pencil and notebook, or simply just because you were sat too close to one another.

Or when when one of you would enthusiastically keep the side conversation going, and then hurriedly look away to avoid such intense eye contact. Shy, the both of you, even though there was seemingly no reason to be. You even found it endearing when Billy would go through the trouble to kick Freddy and Rosa out of the room, away from the scene. Rejecting their offers of snacks or help, just for him to turn around and ask/say things like, "Are you hungry? I could get you something real quick." "Oh, don't worry, I can do that, you don't have to..." right afterwards.

"What, is that a band or something?" Was his next question. Although, this one wasn't as endearing and silly, or grounds for a new topic. No, this one... this one shocked you. Visibly.

"No, it's not a band!" You exclaimed through a chuckle of disbelief. "It's a movie! You've...never seen 'Stand By Me'?"

"No...?" He answered, more in tone of a question while your jaw dropped further to the ground, if possible.

"Never??"

"...Should I have?"

You disregarded it, the both of you now chuckling awkwardly seeing as he wouldn't be able to understand your reference anyway. And yet, you were curious to know what he had seen. Maybe you two would have a familiar favorite in common. Prerequisite for a friendship to thrive, of course. Totally not you just wanting to know everything about him.

"IT?"

"It, what?"

"No, the movie." You laughed. "IT."

Billy looked away, thinking for a moment and then answering the moment his green eyes shifted back to you.

"Didn't that just come out not that long ago?"

"What? Dude- No." You sighed. "First of all, it dropped in 2017, so no, it didn't just come out. And second, I'm talking about the original one. You know, Jonathan Brandis, all of them..."

"I don't... keep up... who?" Billy stammered, urging you to explain a little deeper.

"Seth Green... Tim Curry... these are well-known people, man."

Apparently not, silence clouding over the two of you as Billy shrugged lazily, smiling to himself, wishing he had a clue what you were talking about. Although he enjoyed hearing you ramble, he wished he could participate a little more. Harder than he thought, realizing he never spent much time on pop culture until, what...? Late fifteen?

He couldn't be blamed for that, could he? He was new to this. He only had three years of experience being an actual, semi-normsl teenager!

"Okay, fine, whatever." You huffed, mocking offense to his uncultured ways. "There's no way you haven't seen 'Breakfast Club', though."

"Uh, way." He sassed with another awkward chuckle, leaving your eyes to go wide in incredulity. "What is that? Do they have a club where they talk about breakfast? Like-"

"No, it's about-... Oh my god, bro, do you live under a rock?"

Sharing a loud laugh, both at his words and the ridiculousness of not having seen (in your opinion) such a masterpiece, you threw more to the table in rapid fire. Lightning round.

"Back To The Future."

"Nah."

"Gremlins."

"Mm-mm."

"Honey, I Shrunk The Kids."

"Sounds lame."

"Ignoring that. E.T."

"That's the one with the kids and the bikes, right? With that alien?"

"Yes!" You hissed in excitement. But seconds after, it struck you. You had to be sure...

"Wait, was it on Netflix?"

"Yeah."

You huffed. E.T. was not on Netflix.

"That's 'Stranger Things', Billy..."

"Nuh-uh." He shook his head. "Mary and Freddy are watching that together, and I refuse to give in to the hype. It wasn't a show, either. It was a movie."

"Earth to Echo..." You sighed, and he nodded quickly, giving an excited point and a smile in your direction.

"Yeah, that's it!"

"Dude..." You trailed, pinching the bridge of your nose before throwing out one last suggestion. He had to have seen this one.

"Goonies."

"Okay, now you're just making stuff up." Billy smirked, turning his attention back to the laptop while noises you couldn't even name if you wanted to left your lips.

"...!! You're literally wearing a shirt for it! Like, deadass merch on your body, right now."

Billy looked down, tugging at his gray T-shirt and looking almost shocked to see the word 'Goonies' written in its iconic font.

"I... just liked the pattern, man. I didn't know it was a movie."

And when he looked back up to meet your narrowed eyes, filled with a sudden determination he could recognize from the many times Freddy or Darla possessed the exact same look... he knew he was in for it.

"Unexceptable."

The laptop was whisked away from his arms into yours, your fingers expertly moving at a fast pace to Google, typing in a website you used to pirate watch movies for free. He watched, intrigued when you typed in the name of the movie on his shirt and hit play.

"What about the project?"

"Trust me, your knowledge on some of the greatest teen films of all time is much more important than some random facts on ancient Greece."

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

You were right, Billy found, having thoroughly enjoyed 'Goonies'. As well as 'Karate Kid', 'Super 8', and right now, half of 'Weird Science'. He also noticed another fact, one of which he voiced to you under the light of the computer screen. The only light in the room, minus some coming from the hallway through the cracked door, seeing as the sun had gone down.

"You're really into the whole... eighties scene, huh?"

"Eighties, nineties, early two-thousands..." You trailed, your eyes glued to the screen as Billy's returned.

"I fuck with it." Billy nodded in approval.

"You'd better." You scoffed, playfully nudging him with your shoulder. "These are literal works of art, I don't know how you missed them."

"I wasn't alive when half- No, all of these came out, (N/N)."

You felt the heat rise from your chest to your cheeks at a sudden nickname he had given you. It was the one thing that had finally brought you out of your nostalgic trance, seeing how nighttime plagued the room and how close you two had remained for so much time. Reminiscing on moments that had happened mere hours ago during the other movies. Deep dive talks, laughter, even more light touches you fought yourself to ignore.

Even now, your leg pressed up against his. Should you move it? Had it always been there? Maybe you shouldn't move it if it's been there the whole time. It'd be sudden and weird. Or maybe your leg up against his was already weird, and he was just being polite about it, not saying anything.

Oh shit. You hadn't said anything, either.

"Yeah, well, neither was I, and I still found a way."

"That's 'cause you're weird."

Your head whipped towards him at such a nonchalant statement, and though your brain was screaming at you to play it off in some way...

...Ignore it, act like you didn't hear it, take it as a joke...

"In a good way." He added swiftly, meeting your eyes that were full of offense, but now softening into flatterment while all that left you was a small, "Oh." sound.

"I like being aro- Hanging out with you. You're-... It's cool. Like, I like you, y'know?"

Billy fixing his words to sound more... "acceptable" didn't at all change the meaning of them. Not when his tone was filled with complete adulation for you. When he could barely push it out in more than a whispered volume, and certainly not when his eyes were blown as they scanned each and every feature on your face. Not shamelessly, though. It was more of a subconscious act that he couldn't help, now that he was finally given the chance under less than preferred lighting.

You couldn't miss any such signals if you tried.

"I like you, too." You responded, your lips curving into a tiny smile with attempts to find the words that matched his own. To convey everything you wanted to tell him and more, because you knew "I like you" just isn't enough. It was too vague, too... simple. It could mean everything, but it could also mean nothing. And, natrually, you wanted it to mean something.

Something like...

. . .

Something like not regret, even though that's what you felt immediately after you had pushed your lips onto his. If anything, you hadn't thought you could scramble away from someone faster while seated in a chair (at least, not without falling on the floor) until you did it successfully, just now. Regret festered into shame in mere seconds, and word-vomit was coming up, and out of your throat before you could stop it.

"Fuck, dude. Shit, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I-... I mean, I do, but it wasn't- I should've...asked? I don't know, I just, I-..."

"No, no, no, it's fine, don't worry about it."

'Don't worry about it? Was that a gold thing or a bad thing? As in, just forget it ever happened? Impossible, nope. This whole thing is ruined forever, there is no "forget about it," that's. . . Or like, as in it was cool and he wanted it...? Or, at least, liked it, I don't know. Oh my god, I'm gonna kill my-'

Billy clearing his throat brought you out of your head, and back into the deafening silence that caved over the two of you. Torture, really, the only word you could find to describe the whole ordeal until you found yourself apologizing again.

"Billy, I'm sorry that I-... Y'know..."

"I told you, it's fine." He shrugged, having not even taken his eyes off of the screen. Not... the best sign, although it became clear he had more to say as he looked down into his lap.

"I've, um... never been kissed before. So I just..." He laughed. "Was I any good?"

"You... What?"

Well, now you were just hopelessly lost, aside from being a hopeless romantic. Billy could practically sense the cogs turning in your head, from one, "Did I just steal his first kiss?" cog, to the "Wait, he's gay, too?!" cog, to the-

"You knew??!" Billy laughed at your exclamation, watching as you covered your face and shook your head in full embarrassment. Your repetition of the words going muffled by your palms.

"Oh my fucking god, you knew..."

"If it makes you feel any better," Billy started, gently prying your hands away in order to see you. Or to show off those stupid adorable dimples he had whenever he smiled. Probably both. "Not right away."

"When'd you clock it?" You asked, curiosity getting the better of you as he moved himself so that he was back to being as close as possible to you.

"Right after 'Super 8'."

"Damn."

You thought you would've relaxed by now, free of the feelings, free of the closet, and the emotional turmoil that came with both. But with Billy's palm against the side of your face, bringing you in for more light pecks, you thought that maybe you'd slip into a heart attack or grow faint with how dizzy you were.

"OH MY GOD?!"

Scratch all that. It was now all back to panic and stress again as the two of you actually fell out of your seats this time trying to get away from each other, quickly looking towards the door to find Freddy's eyes near bulging out of his skull while Rosa struggled to keep her mouth covered with her hand. Hiding a wide grin.

"SORRY, sorry, our bad, we'll just-!" Victor stammered, throwing his hand up in an awkward wave, trying his best to shut the door with his wife and Freddy in the way.

"We just wanted to check in, carry on...!"

"We didn't see anything!" Rosa nearly squealed, having clearly seen everything as Pedro was quick and last to add, "You're gay, too?!"

The slam of the door triggered your burst into laughter, Billy struggling to pull himself together.

"Dude, you-..." Your gut laughs cut you off, practically gasping for air in between each giggle while he could only shake his head, glaring at the floor.

"I'm gonna kill my-"

──────────── •⚡️• ────────────

Idk bout y'all, but I love this fr. Like... I kinda sorta maybe based it off of a friend's experience (not to a T, I actually changed up a lot), but I still think that makes it all the more genuine.

Plus, a lot of the writing/thoughts are thoughts I've had my damnself dealing with my own sexuality and identity and whatnot (I'm Bisexual and Polyamorous), so it really just...

I'm proud. Of myself, of this imagine, of you all out there who are proud to be who you are, and I want you to know that you aren't alone. Because even if you only have one person on this planet who supports and loves you, just know that it's me (and Moon, ofc, so that's technically two).

DMs are always open, happy pride month, and I love you all so, so much🫶🏽💞.

~ Star✨️🏳️‍🌈

Back to Master List

[faroreswinds]

More Totk thoughts below

Found two other memories so far. Memory number 9 first, then memory number 5.

Memory number 9 is when Sonia is murdered by Ganondorf. Honestly, these two naive young women thought they could attempt to handle something alone? Wtf were they thinking? Zelda also somehow now has some control over her time powers. 

Learning that Puppet Ganon is disguised as Zelda really ruins the rest of the game. The present time tries to “trick” the player into thinking Zelda might have gone evil. Of course, unless you are like 5, no would buy this BS. But if you get this memory before doing the “main” story, you are really gimping yourself out of a cohesive narrative. 

Number 5 is Rauru’s sister, Minaru, info-dumping about how Secret Stones amplify power, how she can separate her own body from her spirit, and that people can become dragons if you swallow the secret stones.

Again, this is pretty easy to figure out because the “Light” dragon has golden hair and the Master Sword. But even if you didn’t catch that, this basically tells you that Zelda became a dragon. They are really bad at telling stories. 

I went and did the Goron temple. Thematically, it was actually super cool. The build up isn’t as special as the Rito one, but first you fight Yunobo, who is possessed. This is super easy but still kinda fun storywise. Then, surprise! Another boss fight! Very bold to put part of the dungeon boss BEFORE the dungeon but it worked. Another easy boss. Like the Rito boss, this one is more spectacle more than anything.

And I gotta say, the Gorons that are possessed by the gloom rocks were really unsettling. When I approached Goron City, two possessed Gorons just suddenly got up and approached me. I actually kinda freaked for a moment. That was more unsettling than the entire Depths ever was. 

Thankfully they weren’t aggressive, but they had text boxes over their heads that said “Hey, come here”. And every ounce of my body said “No thanks, I chose life”. 

Another cool, thematic dungeon, and a huge step up from the Rito Dungeon. It actually made me think about the layout like dungeons of old, and had a cool mine cart system. I also liked how it is in the ruins of an ancient Goron City. 

One thing I also enjoy about these dungeons is that they exist organically in the world, unlike BotW, which were separate maps that required a loading screen and were mechanical monstrosities. It’s kinda a shame you can’t just do them when you find them, like the OG LoZ, but nonetheless these are closer to what I want from future Zelda games.

That all said, the dungeon was still subpar. Too easy to skip the labyrinth of mine cart rails. Just climb and Ascend everywhere. You are given just given the map right away, so you are never lost for a moment. Lame. 

The boss was a Gohma variant, and also stupid easy. To be honest, the best boss in the game so far is an overworld boss called Flux Construct III. I can gush about that boss for hours, but I won’t in this post. These story bosses are for literal babies. 

Also, Yunobo is just as annoying as Tulin. Please, I beg of you, shut up and let me fight. I also hate how you need to be near the Sages to activate their powers. And the A button is shared with other uses so sometimes when you go to pick something up you accidently just activate a Sage. Terrible button design. 

And for some reason, the Sage tells you the exact same story of the Imprisoning War. Almost word for word, with the same cutscene. Wtf? Why repeat what we already know? Is there no dynamic story telling? 

I’m also annoyed that these past sages have no face or name. They are literal nobodies. 

I did find Vah Rudania’s helmet armor piece, and if you put it on the Yunobo spirit will also the Sage helmet too. It’s a cool touch that I appreciate. 

It also kinda confirms my theory that the Sheikah tech was inspired by the Zonai tech. 

Again, Link has just no reaction to anything around him. Worse 3D Link of all time.

So... oops, I accidently found the start of the Sage of Spirit’s temple by diving into the storm cloud over Faron. I didn’t know that it would trigger a story thing. Urg... I might have ruined the flow of the story even more. 

“Link.... Zelda’s chosen protector.... Link.... Zelda’s chosen protector.... Link.... Zelda’s” Holy crap, please stop talking, I am BEGGING you. 

I’m going to not do this temple right away. I’ll save it for later. 

[adultswim2021]

!!!EMERGENCY POST!!!

Sometimes I forget to cover a thing, so I add the phrase “EMERGENCY POST” to the top of the post to indicate that. So, without further adude:

Tim & Eric Nite Live #1: “Delicious Pizza” | November 6, 2007 - 10:00PM | S01E01 Aired on superdeluxe.com

Folks, I messed up. While this blog was always meant to be more about the proper television content of the Adult Swim original comedy ecosphere, I was planning to at least touch on some of the web-only content. While covering it in-depth wasn’t going to be a requirement I could work with, I was, however, planning to make an exception for Tim & Eric Nite Live. But I didn’t think about formally making sure I wasn’t gonna miss it until it was too late. I falsely remembered that the series started sometime midway through season two, rather than a few weeks before season two. I’m so sorry. But, being a spin-off somewhat of Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! I’ve decided to count this, and I’ve decided to do a brief run of posts catching up with this series so I can weave the few remaining 2007 episodes where they actually belong on the timeline. 

Tim and Eric Nite Live is an achievement. It’s one of the funniest things they’ve ever done. How can two Pennsylvanians, such a universally reviled demographic of people, be so goddamn effortlessly funny? It boggles my mind.

This is basically a public access show for the internet. It’s clearly influenced by their own love of public access shows. A lot of people from Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job showed up to participate in this. You had Richard Dunn, showing up to get shaved (sometimes played by the real Richard Dunn, but briefly and absurdly played by Zach “big time” Galifianakis” for a brief stretch), You had David Liebe Hart performing music and interjecting way too much from the sidelines (which yields some of the show’s funniest moments, nearly derailing the fabricated trainwreck into a real one). 

This one opens up with a wonderfully elaborate intro sequence, which makes the show seem like an attempt at a slick news-magazine show. What we get instead is an endless small-talk segment that is clearly paid advertisement for Papa John’s Pizza. To clarify: they aren’t actually getting paid by Papa John’s they are just doing their goddamn best to sincerely sell the idea that they might be. They are so good at laying it on thick. Tim decreeing “I’ve never seen anything like this” regarding the Papa John's website is hysterical.  

Other memorable moments: Tim backhandedly insulting We Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which was actually being advertised on the front page of Super Deluxe’s web page. I’ve done a very poor job of approximating what it might have looked like if you were watching this web broadcast on the front page of the site. It’s on top of this write-up. I tell you, streaming this show was hellish at the time. I remember sitting through entire episodes of the show and just watching all of my friends comment on it in an AIM chatroom while it buffered endlessly for me, so I only got to see a few snippets here and there as it aired live. 

It really was live, too. They took Skype calls from fans, and treated them poorly. My favorite call is a cute girl named Kate who DLH immediately starts hitting on (he nearly gives her his phone number only to be cut off by Tim & Eric). She refers to “Jayne and Wan” Skyler which prompts an immediate hang-up from Tim, incensed that she got the names wrong. 

Another memorable bit is DJ Doug Pound presenting the mostly lame Tim & Eric cover song contest. This bit ends with Doug very sillily walking into the camera as he leaves, causing a huge disruption in our visual experience of the show. Tim scolds him for doing an extra bit of comedy that the show did not need. 

It’s important to note: Tim & Eric eventually released higher-quality versions of these that are in roughly DVD quality. From what I can tell they are uncut but with one exception: this first episode is missing around a minute’s worth of footage towards the beginning. My guess is that their own high-quality archive of the stream failed, but since they had the opening sequence as a pre-recorded video they just stitched that to the front of their incomplete archive. If you find the lower-quality version online, it has a SuperDeluxe network bug in the corner. This is the more complete version. I made a composite version a long time ago but I don’t know if I have it handy anymore. If I find it, maybe I’ll throw it up online sometime?

[qnewsau]

Lucy Lawless says they 'keep trying' to reboot Xena

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/lucy-lawless-says-they-keep-trying-to-reboot-xena/

Lucy Lawless says they 'keep trying' to reboot Xena

Lucy Lawless has spoken about the multiple unsuccessful attempts over the years to reboot her 90s hit series Xena: Warrior Princess.

The New Zealand actress became a global star playing the lesbian icon in the fantasy series from 1995 to 2001.

In a new interview ahead of a trip to Australia this week, Lucy has weighed in on a possible return of the character to TV.

“They keep trying and it keeps foundering at the last step for various reasons,” Lucy told news.com.au.

“The thing is, you have to reboot it in a way that honours the old but is entirely new.

“If you can’t do it as well as or better than the original, then you can’t do it at all, really. You can’t do a lame version because it’ll just flop.”

The closest Xena came to returning was back in 2015, when it was reported US network NBC was developing a reboot.

At the time, the producer in charge, Javier Grillo-Marxuach, promised that Xena and Gabrielle would be depicted as a lesbian couple – not just subtext – if the show returned.

But by 2017, it was confirmed that particular reboot was sadly dead.

‘You should be so lucky to have that problem’

Lucy Lawless says that if the show did come back, she knows what type of role she’d want.

“Perhaps Hera? Or maybe, was it Labyrinth or was it The Never Ending Story where there’s the lady that’s made out of all the trash?” she said.

“Just some character role, but it would have to be either super characterful or super pivotal. There has to be something vital about it. I’m not there to play someone’s wife.”

The New Zealand actress went on to say she’s forever baffled by people who don’t want to known for one of their previous roles.

“To hear about actors wanting to get away from a role, I just felt like almost that was a cliché. You should be so lucky to have that problem,” she said.

“So many actors struggle their whole lives and never get a role that achieves this sort of household recognition.

“That sets you up for all kinds of other things. Whether you want to admit it or not, there’s benefits to that. So I’m very grateful.”

Lucy Lawless directs new documentary

Lucy Lawless is coming to Sydney this week for the Aussie premiere of her new project Never Look Away.

The film premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in January and is screening at SXSW Sydney this week.

It’s a powerful documentary film on the life of gutsy Kiwi-born CNN photojournalist Margaret Moth, who blazed a trail as a war correspondent.

“I had no intention of directing. But when I received this email out of the blue saying, ‘do you want to make a film about my best friend Margaret Moth?’, my mind cast back to when she was shot [by a sniper in Sarajevo in 1992]. The whole country was riveted,” she said.

“I’d never ever wanted to direct before. It was as if Margaret picked me and booted me through the directing door. Now it’s all I want to do.”

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[boombambaby]

Fun fact, I’ve always loved ENG but I only got the idea to write for Kuzco last year around Halloween when I was challenged to cosplay him for a friends costume party.

Story time below the cut! (Be warned, it’s long for literally no reason. Excuse the trip down memory lame.)

Before that I had been writing for Castiel from Supernatural (talk about complete opposites in terms of character) and I was having a very tough time with him. Literally no one wanted to write with me, and everyone i reached out to turned me down thinking I only wanted to write a certain thing/ship, which was ridiculous. Plus I had a bad experience with another writer that nearly ruined it for me, so I was 🤏 that close to ending my roleplaying run from 2005 when I decided to give Kuzco a shot.

I thought the fandom would be jumping, from how many other Disney folk were out there (on other sites like RP.me, Twitter etc) but I was completely wrong. It was SUPER lonely, but I had muse and was determined to give this character the college try. I was still in the throes of getting used to a job that is VERY mentally taxing and challenging for a number of reasons, so Kuzco was a fantastic break from RL that I truly needed.

I started just writing. First on Twitter, where I met Micah (from The Emperor’s New Podcast), and then on RP.me where I made a couple friends— and I just posted goofy IC statuses and drabbles since I was still barely writing with anyone at the time. Joined a few groups on Discord, but it was mainly drabbles and determination that kept me going. Still VERY lonely.

I was getting somewhat discouraged again from lack of action in the fandom, before I made a tumblr. There were no fics, everyone had a lot of nostalgia from seeing my Kuzco around but didn’t know how to interact, and it was just very quiet. I had never roleplayer on tumblr before because I always thought it too confusing, and when I first made this account in an attempt to learn, roleplay for Disney or otherwise seemed totally DEAD here too. Then I had a few people kind of reject me here because I didn’t know what I was doing, and it started to get old, fast.

I was pretty close to quitting again and hanging up my writing robes for good— when someone asked me for advice on Twitter and said they were too shy to post headcanons.

I’ve always been a FIRM believer in roleplay being an escape from RL, and thinking that everyone should try it at least once and never be afraid to put themselves out there. Post your headcanons or ideas, post your fan art— enjoy the character, who cares if everyone likes your opinions or not?! If you want to write, WRITE! And I basically told them that, and that I’d love to read their headcanons for their characters someday!

This was a fan account that followed me, and I generally don’t interact with fan accounts toooo much, but I’m usually pretty nice in that I’ll give everyone a chance— including fans! Cause why not, right?

Little did I know that person would end up being my AWESOME Malina, who I write with here, and who is hands down one of the most impressive writers I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with in my whole roleplaying ‘career’. She’s a native Spanish speaker and had been learning English at the time for a DOCTORATE, and when I requested a Malina here (on a whim) she made the account for me to practice learning the language and to post the HCs she’s always had after the advice I gave her!

She’s probably the only reason I’m still here and writing at all, in such a dead fandom and has easily become one of my best roleplaying/online friends. Truly an amazing writer, and an awesome and highly inspirational person.

Between her love for Malina, the few writers who gave me a chance here and kept me going, and the other accounts that post about the show/movie so often like theemperorsnewfanblog, wekissedandyousaidwow, kuzcoskingdom, Micah from The Emperor’s New Podcast, the couple of writers on Ao3— and the fans and friends I’ve met along the way— this fandom feels like a close knit community of like minded folks, and I’m honestly just so happy to have all of us here and posting ideas/headcanons/ fanart, drabbles ANYTHING, regardless of how many posts there actually are.

Thank you all SO much for helping to keep this fandom alive.

I’d love to see more ENG/ENS writers, especially characters from the show like Guaka, Yatta, Ramon, etc. But I adore each and every one of the people currently helping to keep the fandom alive and I’m thrilled to be here and writing for a character I’ve always loved so much with so many new Disney muses despite all odds.

And thank you to all of the roleplay accounts here who have given me a chance, and taught me the ins and outs of Tumblr RP and made writing here so much fun. Let’s keep lifting each other up and writing these amazing characters we’ve all grown up with so much love for.

Steps off the over emotional for no reason soap box. Ahem.

wish there were way more fans of the emperor's new school, on this site but also in general. Where r the fanfictions, the character analyses, the YouTube review videos, the ship wars, the cosplayers the crossovers etc. Outside of like 5 people on this site there is nothing. Join our fandom y'all I'm begging it's lonely out here 😭😭

[billconrad]

The People We Want to Read About

    In this beautiful world, there are certain people with exceptional knowledge, and we enjoy reading books by them or about them. They could be astronauts, doctors with a revolutionary weight loss theory, famous people, or famous parents. Side note. Did Linda Carter ever write a book? She probably has some marvelous stories.

    For those without an exciting aspect, creating something that readers enjoy requires hard work. This effort might involve writing five outstanding books or learning about spiders. Other authors had fate intervened. I watched a YouTube video today about a man that climbed up the side of a multi-story building to save a baby. He could probably get a fantastic book deal.

    Tragically, there are awful people, and we want to know all about their bad choices. Do they consciously decide to be evil one day? Are they completely unaware of how badly the world perceives them? What was their true motivation for hurting so many people? Why did they claim to be innocent when it was so clear they were guilty?

    Then there are those people who we wish would write a book. What happens in Area 51? Are there aliens living there? What happened to Jimmy Hoffa? Could he still be alive? That guy at work who always smiles. What is his secret? Is he faking it? That lady that just walked past me. Why did she smile at me? That is certainly worth at least three books. Yet, these deep secrets somehow remain out of the printed word.

    Readers enjoy books with exceptional knowledge and characters or larger-than-life people. This is one of the many sparks that make life worth living, and authors take these works to reach new heights.

    Yeah, I got none of that. Here are my four best (worth writing about) life experiences: I went scuba diving off the coast of San Diego during an earthquake. The sand moved off the seabed, and there was a strange dunk-dunk-dunk sound above me. Only a few (I suspect less than 20) people have been diving during an earthquake. I bet more people have been in outer space.

    I climbed a rock face at the Gunks in New York. Even though 100 climbers do this daily, I considered this achievement a top-five highlight. I passed my second Electrical Engineering course on the first try. Finally, I went skydiving, got dizzy, and wanted to barf. Never again.

    Of course, there are typical experiences (that many people do and are not worthy of writing about), such as getting married to a fantastic woman and having a wonderful daughter.

    It appears that my experiences have not been too exciting, but please do not misinterpret my words as unfavorable. On the contrary, I enjoy living and appreciate every day I am privileged to be alive.

    My health is good, my family is typical, my friends are regular, and my chosen profession is not adventurous. I grew up in San Diego with wonderful parents and a fantastic sister. I have never been in jail, never been in a major traffic accident, never gotten into a major fight, and I attempt to be a pleasant person. I live where there is low crime and have uneventful neighbors.

    My point is that very few readers would purchase my autobiography. In fact, you have just read everything. Presenting Bill, the average guy.

    You might be tempted to think, “Hey, you have not hit your stride. You can still do something great.” I enjoy my boring life and have no desire for fame. I never want to post a YouTube video, do something newsworthy, or act in a movie.

    In some ways, it is easier to be a normal writer doing normal things. Readers are not expecting something great. Hey, you won four Olympic skiing medals and wrote a book about painting flowers? Lame. You lived through the great depression, fought in Iwo Jima, built a successful business, and your book is about raising chickens? One-star review.

    Understanding who we are and what is in store for us is good. Yet that is not for everybody. I often see posts on the Facebook group, Writers Helping Writers about people writing their autobiographies. I find many of these people are trying to create something enormous out of their everyday life. Often, I write the constructive comment, “What is your hook? What would make me want to read your book?” For some reason, they do not have a strong reply.

    I understand that many of these people had awful childhoods or traumatic experiences. However, most of these soon-to-be writers have nothing exceptional to offer readers besides a desperate need for fame. I guess it is sad that many people want to be recognized and loved by people they have never met. I am fortunate that I do not fall into this category.

    What I have on my side are some fundamental life experiences. I use this limited knowledge to create stories that are realistic and plausible. I hope readers will relate to my down-to-earth concepts and tangible stories.

    However, my lack of significant life experiences limits me. For example, I have never been to Japan, and it would be challenging to write a Japanese scene. Yet, in my first book, the main character grew up in Russia. I researched Russia for hours to make her background believable. Hopefully, there were not too many flaws.

    What about the aliens in my second book? That is a perfect example of something that I do not know of. But, of course, no (earth) reader has any knowledge either.

    What will my writing future hold? I will keep doing my best with what I have. But what would happen if I were part of something huge to me and people wanted to read about it? Well, at least I now have the basic skills to write an autobiography.

    You’re the best -Bill

    May 13, 2023

    Hey book lovers, I published three! Please check them out.

    Interviewing Immortality is a psychological thriller about a 500-year-old woman who forces a disgraced author to interview her.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival is a drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties is a classic spy novel about two hunters discovering that government communications are being recorded and the ensuing FBI investigation.

    These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

[starshapedkookie]

At the End of the Day

summary: You and Jungkook have been best friends for 8 years, going through absolute hell and back together. After senior year of high school, you and Jungkook began a tradition of taking annual vacations together during the summer months. This summer is no different, with you and Jungkook celebrating graduating college just a couple months prior. You're set to move to NYC after the summer, with you and Jungkook soaking in the sun and as many moments as you can together. You'd think nothing could ever tear your friendship apart with him, but when you've sat on the beach for too many days in a row watching him surf, you can't help but wonder - when did your best friend get so hot?

➢ pairing: jungkook x female reader

➢ genre: high school friends to lovers, ex-baseball player jungkook, beach/vacation au, fluff, smut, a little angst

➢ warnings: language, angst, use of edibles, drinking, graphic depictions of smut (fingering, fem. receiving oral, light choking, dom-ish(?) jungkook, protected sex, obscene use of term baby) also i know that in the little mood board i created, the girl is a teeny white girl & i don't want to alienate any of my poc readers at all - i just thought these pics fit the vibe so take them with a grain of salt 😊

➢ word count: 13.3 k

➢ mini playlist: at the end of the day by wallows, satellite, late night talking, carolina by harry styles, no angel by beyonce, ICE (we should do drugs) by labrinth, unusual you by britney spears

posting this in honor of BTS' 9th anniversary. i think i will be sad about their hiatus for the next few days, but i know amazing things are coming for them. bts has saved me more than anyone could imagine - and this story feels like a love letter to jungkook. i hope you all enjoy.

∞

You’re secretly watching him through your sunglasses, bottom lip tucked between your teeth in your observation. The sun’s rays are hot and you should probably reapply your sunscreen, but you can’t budge in your chair. From this distance, he probably thinks your eyes are still focused on the open book in your lap but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

You’re not exactly sure when Jeon Jungkook became so sexy. It was definitely a slow burn of growth and puberty overtime, still shocked that your best friend of 8 years looked like this now. Muscles covering his body; leaned out and defined just enough. His hair cut immaculately after a few rough stints of trying to grow it long the last two years of college. Multiple piercings in his ears and you can’t even get started on the eyebrow and lip piercing he’s gotten in the last six months. Tattoos—god his fucking tattoos—covering the entirety of his right arm; shoulder to hand. The only thing that remained the same about him was his goofy personality and lame attempts he called jokes. 

When you had first met Jungkook, he was 15 and you were 14, only a few months younger than him. High school orientation is where you met to be exact. Perhaps out of privilege, both of you ended up at the same private high school—nationally ranked for its academics and sports. It’s not hard to guess what you were there for and what he was there. Jungkook was one of the shyest people you had ever met at the time. You’d later find out that he was scouted by the high school’s baseball coaches to join the program. He was skinny like a tree branch, had a black bowl cut, and a nose too big for his face. You don’t know exactly why the two of you ended up becoming best friends but either way, you were grateful that he was in your life. 

It’s just now, your friend just happens to be insanely hot and more confident than ever. Like you’ve said, you’re not sure when this transformation happened or how you were able to ignore it for so long, but goddamn—

You quickly shift your gaze away from Jungkook as he begins to make his way back to your chairs from the water. Your focus goes back to the pages of your book—a contemporary beach romance—very fitting for your vacation to the beach this year. Jungkook makes his appearance as you’re adjusting your sunglasses, setting down his surfboard on the sand with a thump—a hobby he’s picked up in the last couple years. 

You bring a hand up to further block the sun as you smile up at him, “How’s the water?” You ask. 

A playful smirk slowly spreads across his face and you soon regret your words when he leans over you, shaking his head of hair like a dog. 

“Jungkook! Quit it!” You yelp at him when the cold water its your skin, holding your book out to protect its precious pages. He laughs, clearly proud of himself—you having to make a conscious effort to ignore how his abdominals contract with each suck in of his breath. 

“It’s alright, waves are pretty easy today,” he says running a hand through his wet hair to get his bangs out of his face.

“Just be careful out there, please,” you tell him like it’s a warning. 

“Yeah yeah, I know,” he pauses as he takes a long drink of water. “How’s the book?” He asks as he sits down in the chair beside you, throwing on his pair of sunglasses. 

You gulp, almost not even hearing his question. 

“It’s cute,” you say, book marking your page and setting it down on the towel that’s between you two, “Kind of repetitive though.” 

He nods once before looking away from you, outstretched beneath the sun, “All the books you read are the same,” he chuckles, shoving his feet into the sand. 

You narrow your eyes at him even though he can’t see you behind your shades, “I’d beg to differ,” you tell him, “Just because I like romances with happy endings doesn’t mean they’re all the same,” you defend yourself. 

He glances at you, a smile playing on his lips, “Sure.” 

“Fuck you Jeon, when’s the last time you’ve even read a book?” You challenge, “The last textbook you ever had to read in college?” 

He makes a hum in not-so deep thought, “Probably,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes with a laugh escaping your lips. Though Jungkook doesn’t voice it, he likes hearing you laugh. “This reminds me of the first trip we took,” he adds in. 

You hum in agreement, a small smile forming across your face. 

Both of you then lay in silence as you pick up your book again, soaking up the sun and sound of waves crashing a few hundred yards away from you. Silence is never awkward between you two. It hasn’t been for years at this point. You enjoy his company enough that there’s no need to talk to each other constantly. You know everything about him and he knows everything about you—minus the minuscule crush you’ve developed for him overtime. It’s innocent really; Jungkook was your best friend, funny, attractive, and you talk to him nearly everyday. It would be abnormal if you didn’t feel a twinge of something beyond friendship with him occasionally. 

At least, if you tell yourself that enough; you’d hope it would be true. 

As you peak at him again over your sunglasses, he’s closed his eyes in relaxation, and you begin to think about the journey that’s led you to this very moment. 

After you and Jungkook made it through high school, both of you happened to receive scholarships to the same university in the city. You on a nearly full-ride academic scholarship and him on baseball scholarship. Though right before both of you shipped yourselves off to university, you two decided to take an unplanned long, beach weekend trip back to his home in Busan. It took quite a bit of convincing for your parents to ultimately let you go on a trip with just Jungkook alone. Though after Mr. and Mrs. Jeon explained that they had two extra bedrooms in their beach house and you two were ensured you had to check in with whatever you decided to do, your parents caved. You’re not even sure you and Jungkook would call it a vacation now, but at the time, it was so fun. So fun in fact that both of you decided after that trip, you two would continue to take summer trips together after the school year ended. 

Throughout your semesters at university, both of you worked part-time jobs despite your busy schedules to save up for your trips. Jungkook usually worked more hours in the Fall, given his baseball schedule in the Spring was more demanding. Yet you two somehow always made it work. The year after freshman year, the two of you went to Seoraken National Park for five days, hiking and taking multiple dips in the hot springs. After sophomore year, you both decided to save a little more and fly to Tokyo, though staying in the absolute most-dirt cheap hotel you could possibly find. 

It’s after this summer where Jungkook’s life completely fell apart—every time you look at the scar on his knee, a chill is still sent down your spine. You remember the day so vividly—an open scrimmage in the Fall with the rival university in the city. Of course, you went to support Jungkook with your roommate Lisa, excited to see Jungkook officially play as captain—an unheard of accomplishment for a junior on the team. You’ll never forget the scream he yelled out as soon as he slid into the home plate, the opposing catchers cleat getting twisted up under Jungkook’s knee. He rolled onto his side, clutching his leg in agonizing pain as the crowd watched in shock. 

Jungkook had torn his ACL and MCL, as well as multiple smaller ligaments and muscles in the surrounding area of his right knee. In a fucking scrimmage, he would say through anger, frustration, and tears. The injury was career ending and that was the only time you’d ever seen Jungkook cry in your years of friendship. Jungkook had gone from someone who was expecting to be drafted in the first or second round, to someone who had lost their baseball scholarship and a fucked up knee for the rest of his life. Jungkook almost didn’t even finish school after that, though through the pressure of his parents and you, he walked across the graduation stage with you less than two months ago. You were proud him, star baseball player or not, though you know it’s something he still struggles with to this day even if he doesn’t voice it. 

After Jungkook’s knee had healed through physical therapy and other treatments, he ended up working more hours and working with little league teams in the city for extra money. By the end of the Spring semester, both of you had saved up enough money to where it was feasible to pretty much go wherever you wanted. You settled on flying to Europe, doing a two week excursion that was exhausting—but worth every penny you spent. There had been some squabble on that trip between the two of you and a third party, but the last thing you wanted was to think about that. 

Now you’re sat on Jeju Island with him, enjoying every moment you can get with your best friend before your life changes forever. Through countless hours of working, volunteering, and two internships, you had landed a dream job of being an editor in New York City. You weren’t due to move until the Fall, but the prospect of not seeing your friends and family made you extremely sad. It’s also why you’ve realized that whatever feelings you’ve harbored for Jungkook, must be kept secret deep within your body. It wasn’t reasonable to act upon them when you would be leaving—you wouldn’t ruin your friendship and leave Jungkook here in that way. 

“Earth to Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice knocks you out of your long reverie. You hadn’t even read a full page of your book as it’s still on the page you folded in the corner earlier. 

“W-what? Sorry,” you snap out of it, turning to him as you put your sunglasses on your head. 

“I said do you wanna head up soon? Make some dinner? Watch a movie tonight or something?” He asks. Your heart strings pull at the domesticity and you’re nodding before you even speak. 

“Yeah,” your expression is soft, “Though you’re in charge of the cooking tonight. I’ve done it the past two nights,” you warn him. 

He smirks, digging around his beach bag for his t-shirt to pull on, “Fine. Only if I get to pick the movie we watch.”

“Hey! That’s not fair!” You pout. After he pulls his shirt on—which you’re thankful for—he reaches over to pinch your thigh in retaliation. You jerk in reaction, “Asshole.” 

He laughs again, both of you beginning to pack up your things. Though you don’t voice it, you love hearing his laugh. 

∞

Jungkook prepares a small array of yummy dishes—tteokbokki, a chicken stir fry, cucumber salad, and of course a side of kimchi. Neither one of you had been to the store since you two arrived to the island on Sunday, so there wasn’t much else to work with now on Friday. You make a mental note to create a new list and go again tomorrow, still having another week of your two week trip. The cottage AirBnB was small but had everything you two needed for the vacation. A kitchen, dining room, living room with a pullout couch (that wasn’t being utilized), a bedroom with a king bed which even had a small balcony that overlooked the beach. You definitely lucked out in terms of booking the AirBnB on the quieter side of the island, having most of the beach to yourselves the last few days. 

“Excuse me?” You’re laughing as you look at Jungkook dumbfounded from his words. 

His mouth turns up in the right corner as he smiles, “You heard me,” he remarks, “We should do drugs.” 

He carries on his task of drying the pan he used for the stir fry, looking at you with a kink in his pierced eyebrow. You narrow your eyes at him, leaning against the counter as you watch him, fighting your own smile. 

“And where are you going to find drugs on this island?” You say pointedly. 

“Sweetheart, you know I have connections,” he retorts back, putting the pan back into his respectful cabinet. If there was another thing that Jungkook did to turn you on; his cleanliness. He was the most organized man you had ever met—unsure if he was actually part of the male species given the track record of your other guy friends. He was cleaner and more organized than you most of the time. 

“You’re ridiculous Jeon,” your roll your eyes, “Can I trust said drugs?” 

His smirk spreads even wider, knowing that he’s got you now. 

“Of course, Yoongi wouldn’t sell me anything sketchy,” he says quickly leaving the kitchen. You have no idea who this Yoongi guy is, but you go along with it. You cross your arms as you lean against the counter, your eyes drifting off to the beautiful sunset over the water. You felt lucky to spend your time like this with Jungkook. He quickly comes back, a plastic bag in hand. 

“What is it?” You ask him curiously. 

“It’s a chocolate chip cookie edible,” he pauses, holding up the bag as he observes it, “Think of it as a two for one; dessert and a high.” 

You let out a laugh through your nose, grabbing the bag from him as you inspect it from the outside. As with any edible, it looks just like a normal cookie. You purse your lips, thinking about it for a moment. You hadn’t got high in awhile—since right before graduation actually. You and your roommates shared a nasty bong, with Lisa ultimately keeping it after you all moved out. You and Jungkook had your fair share of getting high together, whether it be at parties at the baseball house or his apartment on Sundays with his roommate Taehyung. 

You open the bag, sniffing it as Jungkook watches you, clearly amused. You break off a small piece of the cookie, plopping it into your mouth knowing it will take at least an hour for you to start to feel the effects of it. It tastes good, although there’s still that tinge of THC that never goes away fully with baked edibles. 

You walk up to Jungkook, shoving the bag into his chest, “I’m going to shower,” you announce. He nods, biting his lip as you walk away from him, his throat feeling slightly clogged. He watches your frame as you disappear into the bathroom, calling after you quickly. 

“Don’t use all the hot water!” He says from the kitchen, digging in the bag to take out his own piece of the cookie. Maybe this would help him clear his head from you. 

∞

You’re giggling uncontrollably as you scroll through your phone, small cackles coming from you lips occasionally. 

“Y/N stop! Give me that!” Jungkook reaches over, attempting to take your phone away from you, but his own laughter taking control. 

You and Jungkook had decided to forgo the movie, opting to enjoy the balcony attached to the bedroom. It was well past 10 PM now, the sun fully set and a couple small candles and the lamps from the bedroom the only light sources. For whatever reason, both of you had been on a path of looking at old pictures of each other, you hysterically laughing at one of them from high school when both of you decided to go to the school dance together as friends. You were mainly laughing at the way he styled his hair, even then at 16 you thought it was ridiculous. 

“I don’t even know why you still have that picture,” he mutters in defeat on his side of the couch. 

You furrow your eyebrows at him as you push his leg with your foot. He’s sat up, right leg underneath him, head resting on his hand as he looks at you. You’re laying on your back, legs outstretched over his lap. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” You push, “I think I have every known picture of you thanks to your brother.” 

It’s the truth—you had more baby pictures of Jungkook on your phone than you did of yourself. He was just too damn cute and awkward. You and Jungkook’s older brother had a good relationship throughout the years, Junghyun, always making sure to send you gems of your best friend when he found them. They looked similar, though Jungkook pulled more features from his dad, including the big eyes and big nose, whereas Junghyun looked more like their mother. 

“God I can’t stand him,” he groans running a hand through his freshly dried and showered hair. He’s wearing a pair of sweatshorts and a t-shirt, his tattoos disappearing in the darkness. You’re wearing a tank top and sweatpants, feeling much better since your shower, even better since your high has kicked in. 

“This was a good idea,” you completely change the subject, not even really sure of your own words. 

He smiles at you, “I’m full of good ideas Y/N.” 

His smile make your heart thump, unable to keep your mind from going there. Your intrusive thoughts only took over when you were intoxicated. You stare at his lips a little too long before you look at your phone to change the song playing lowly from Jungkook’s bluetooth speaker. 

The thing about being friends with someone of the opposite species for so long—it’s that your friends could barely hold themselves from being shitheads sometimes. It was sophomore year—right before Jungkook’s accident—when you were at one of the many baseball parties you attended throughout college. While you were drunk, you knew that succumbing to truth or dare was your own doing. You should have seen it coming from a mile away when a mutual friend and teammate of Jungkook’s—Park Jimin—dared you to kiss him. If you had been more sober, you probably would have just taken the bitch cup and moved on with your life. Though being drunk and a little too curious after your years of friendship with Jungkook, you turned to him and pressed your lips against his. He—along with the entire group seemed taken aback at your actions—hearing whoops and ooo’s during the kiss.

Neither you nor Jungkook spoke about that after the party. It was almost as if it had never happened. It didn’t bother you too much given you were drunk and being silly. It was a brief kiss, no tongue, but enough to satiate your curiosity. At least at that point in time. Now, your curiosity was getting the best of you in other feats—though you’ve sworn to yourself you wouldn’t ever cross that line. 

“Do you ever think about life in like, ten years?” Jungkook suddenly asks, his gaze off to the distance over the balcony. From the cottage, you could faintly hear waves still crashing. 

“Hm,” you mumble, “I guess? I don’t know…” 

He looks over at you, “I do,” he says simply. 

“What does the Jeon Jungkook think about then?” You press, deciding to sit up some on the couch. You grab a pillow to support your back as you settle against the armrest of the couch. 

“I think about being married, having kids, that sorta thing,” his voice is low, yet serious. Through your hazy gaze, you bite your lip nervously.

“That’s very adult of you,” you try to lighten the mood with a giggle. He doesn’t laugh, only returning a fainted smile. 

“Do you not?” He looks away from you sounding rushed and little nervous, picking at loose skin along his cuticles. 

You suddenly feel a lump form in your throat, pulse uneasy, anxiety rises in your veins. Of course you did. 

“I mean yeah,” you offer weakly, “I guess I’ve just always been more concerned with the present,” you tell him honestly. 

He nods, fully understanding—it’s how he used to think too until his accident. He never truly had to put much thought into his future until that day on the field changed his entire life. His future was set and then suddenly it wasn’t. Now, he worries about his future everyday and where life is going to take him. He thought he was going to play professional ball until his thirties, making enough money that he’d never have to worry about a real job. Turns out, life had other things in store for Jungkook. And with you leaving thousands of miles away; his life really wasn’t panning out how he thought. 

“I like the idea of marriage you know?” He says with a hidden adoration in his tone. You find yourself softly smiling at him. “Like just having that one person for you, sharing a life together, does that sound stupid?” he exhales heavily after his question. 

You quickly shake your head, “Not at all,” you say pulling your legs to sit criss-cross, “We’ll all get there one day.. I feel like our paths are set for us.” 

He shrugs, feeling a little pessimistic, “I don’t know,” he breathes heavily, “I thought everything was going to work out a certain way… but I don’t know anymore,” he sounds defeated and sad. You look at him concerned, though you’re sure he’s just spitting high word vomit. You know a lot about Jungkook, but you’ve never heard him speak of such things—except during his relationship with Park Chaeyoung. 

Chaeyoung was Jungkook’s first serious relationship in the time span you’d known him. They met at the end of sophomore year, but only officially began dating at the beginning of junior year. While Chaeyoung was beautiful and smart enough to make you feel insecure, you weren’t her biggest fan. She kept her distance from you and you don’t know if you could exactly blame her. You were Jungkook’s best friend who happened to be a female. You want to say if you were in her shoes that you wouldn’t care who was Jungkook’s best friend, but you’re not sure could 100% say that. 

You first realized that Chaeyoung wasn’t particularly fond of you when you met Jungkook at the hospital after his accident; waiting to confirm his surgery date and time. Even though Jungkook didn’t want you to go, you were the one that actually ended up leaving to not make Chaeyoung uncomfortable. Throughout the rest of junior year, tension built between you and Chaeyoung, and some distance grew between you and Jungkook. You’re sure that she never knew about the kiss you two had shared the year before; she would have freaked the hell out. 

Jungkook was in love with Chaeyoung though. He fell hard and he fell fast—giving all of his love and extra time to her. You can vividly remember him talking about how he thought she could be the one. He was a hopeless romantic at heart but it’s when Chaeyoung told him he couldn’t go on the Europe trip you two had been planning for months that he finally stood up to her. It didn’t go over well, with her jealously taking over to the point where he broke it off with her a couple weeks before you two departed. 

You thought that the trip was going to be good for him to get his mind off her but when they were consistently communicating behind your back, that’s when arguments throughout the two week trip conspired between you and Jungkook. Finally, with four days left of your trip, he decided to stop contact with her and everything between you two only went up again from there. 

Though right here, right now; you can’t help but think his words are about Chaeyoung. You knew that they were acquaintances this past school year and always cordial when they saw each other. You suddenly feel insecure in the dim light, but you plaster a fake smile on your face to rid your mind of Jungkook and his ex.

“Don’t sound so doom and gloom Jungkookie,” you push yourself up and over to him, trying to make him feel better. You sit on your knees up next to him, pinching his left cheek between your fingers. He giggles but you don’t stop, pinching from his cheek to his chin, to his ear. 

“Y/N I swear to god—“ are his last threatening words that you should have taken seriously because it’s not long until you find yourself being tickled to death by him. 

“Jungkook! Stop!” You laugh, trying to fight yourself away from him, but his grip is too strong as he keeps you in place against the couch. You’re kicking your legs to try to get away from him as he attacks your side with his own chuckles filling up the space. To any outsider listening in, it probably sounds like a fucked up murderer situation.

You don’t even realize what’s happened until you open your eyes fully, Jungkook pinning your wrists down, his body hovering on top of yours. He’s stood with one leg on the ground, his bad knee resting between your legs on the couch. It feels like the world has stopped as you stare into each other’s eyes, your breath hitching in your throat. Jungkook has to make a conscious effort to not stare at your cleavage rising up and down as you breath in and out heavily. 

“I-I might go to bed soon,” you say nervously, breaking eye contact with him to unraveling yourself from his grip. He rises as you do to give you space, wiping his hands on his shorts. 

He nods, “Me too,” is all he says. 

You leave the balcony to go brush your teeth and change into your pajamas. Jungkook stays behind to blow out the candles and turn off his speaker, feeling a heaviness between you two now. As he turns the bed down, his own hands are clammy, his high waring off faster than he would like. Both of you had no issue sharing the king bed when you booked the AirBnB a couple months ago, but now he’s fully regretting that decision. When Jungkook comes back from the kitchen with two glasses of water for you both, he finds you already climbing into bed in your cute matching, purple PJ set. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him as he hands you the glass. You take a sip, feeling cotton mouth arise from the edible. 

He climbs into bed soon after, turning off the lamp on his side of the bed encasing both of you in pure darkness. 

“Goodnight Y/N,” are his last words that evening. 

“Night Jungkook,” you say weakly as you’re facing away from him on your side. While you two have already made invisible boundaries when sharing the bed this past week, you make more of a conscious effort than ever to keep space between you two as you both drift off into sleep. 

∞

It’s been a few days since your edible escapades with Jungkook. Both of you have seemingly moved on from the conversations had, the tension that had built up subsiding over the next few days. Now you two are back again at the beach in your normal routine. Jungkook’s just go out in the water from surfing and you’re laying on your tummy, starting the second book of your vacation. You decided to go with something different for you—a thriller about a writer brought in by another author’s husband to finish her books for her as she lies in a coma. Weird. 

You know Jungkook’s back from the water when you feel water droplets scatter across your back. You look up from your book to find Jungkook sat down on his towel beside you, rubbing his right knee. 

“You okay?” You ask him with concern. His major surgery scar is still less than two years old, therefore it’s still quite white and reflective in the sunlight. 

He glances over to you before nodding, “Yeah I’m good, it’s just kind of stiff from surfing on it so much.” 

You can’t help but feel an extreme amount of sadness when you watch him massage his skin. Your resting your chin on your hand as you study him carefully. From the moment you met Jungkook, baseball was his complete identity. It’s why people came up to him even if he didn’t want the attention. It’s what taught him discipline and hard work ethic. It’s what made him happy. The fact it was taken away from him so quickly terrifies you. You can’t even imagine the internal battles he’s had ever since that fateful day. 

“Swim with me?” He suddenly asks. 

Through the top of your sunglasses you glare at him, a groan leaving your mouth, “Jungkook you know how much I hate swimming in the ocean.” 

He rolls his eyes at the dramatics, “Y/N there aren’t sharks in this part of the ocean,” he laughs. 

You close your book not wanting to lose your place, “You don’t know that!” You retort. 

He laughs again, this time ruffling your hair slightly, “I’ll protect you…” he trails off, a small pout crossing his features, “Plus it’ll make this feel better,” he’s referring to his knee. 

Ugh, he really knew how to convince you. 

You then agree, both getting up at the same time. You adjust your bikini to which Jungkook stares shamelessly. Your skin goes hot and you pretend you don’t see him doing so. You walk side by side to the water, a yelp leaving your lips when you feel how cold it is. 

“Fuck Jungkook! It’s cold!” You whine as he continues his descent deeper. You’ve stopped at where the water hits your ankles, he’s at his knees. 

“C’mon princess,” he whines back and the nickname gives you butterflies, “I’ll drag your ass in here if you don’t move woman!” 

“Ugh,” you spit, “I’m coming,” you slowly walk towards him as he continues to walk deeper until he’s about to his chest, finally letting himself float against the waves after he gets over where they break. 

“Y/N,” he says threateningly as you’ve stopped where the water hits your waist.

“Jungkook,” you respond but suddenly your heart sinks when he dips his body below water, disappearing beneath the surface. Your eyes widen as you look around paranoid. You know exactly what he’s up to. Though you’re expecting it, you have no time to brace yourself when Jungkook has suddenly grabbed your leg, pulling you beneath the water. You’re screaming, bubbles escaping your mouth until you reach the surface. 

Jungkook has broken the water only a few inches from you as he laughs loudly, tipping his head bad. You push water towards his face, anger filling your body. 

“Fuck you Jungkook!” You yell, his continuous laughter pissing you off even more. 

You launch at him in the water, hiking yourself up onto his back as punishment. You wrap your legs around his torso and he adjusts you comfortably. If he was going to protect you, he really was going to protect you. 

“I really hate you sometimes,” you mutter into his ear, his back rumbling against your chest as he chuckles. 

“You love me,” he retorts. 

You really do. 

“See this isn’t too bad,” he then says looking over his shoulder to meet your gaze. 

“We’re sitting ducks Jungkook,” you mumble, eyes looking around the water, still slightly paranoid. There’s a few other people in the water and a couple surfers which makes you feel a little better. 

“It’s okay to get out of your comfort zone you know,” he raises a brow when you climb off his back, deciding to swim close in front of him. Both of you float with only a few inches between you two, water at your chests. 

“Mhm,” you say sarcastically, “That’s what they all say before they’ve gotten their leg bit off,” you move your arms around to keep you wading. Thankfully it didn’t take long to get used to the chilly water. 

He bites his lip as he watches you with an amused expression. You push away the way it makes you feel. 

“You know that’s why I wanted to be your friend right?” 

You furrow your eyebrows, moving to float on your back. Jungkook being the gentlemen he is, he ends up beside you, his arms giving your back some support in the water as you float. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him. 

You can’t see his expression as you’ve closed your eyes, the sun too bright to keep them open. His fingertips graze your skin every few seconds and you swear it feels like electricity running through your spine. 

“You’ve always been the one to get me out of my comfort zone,” he points out like it’s obvious—though you’ve never had an inkling of this. 

You open one eye at him in a squint, his face a lot closer to yours than you expected, “I don’t think so,” you laugh a little awkwardly as you give up on floating, settling back to your normal swimming position with him in front of you. 

“I wouldn’t lie Y/N,” he laughs in return, “You’ve known me for a long time, you know how fucking weird I used to be.” 

“Hey you weren’t weird,” you defend him, “Just a little awkward and going through puberty.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Fucking weird,” he repeats, “I just mean I’ve never had a friend that’s always pushed me to do things I normally wouldn’t do. Hell just the vacations we’ve taken together is just one example,” he pauses, his next words cutting him a little deep, “I feel like you’re the reason I ever had a life outside of baseball.” 

You bite your lip under the water as you don’t break his heavy eye contact. You’d never realize Jungkook thought that highly of you. It makes you feel giddy on the inside, but also a little sad that you were never that confident in your abilities as a friend. If anything, you thought Jungkook brought you out of your shell more. 

“I’m just a small part of your life Jungkook,” is what you settle on. 

They way his face falls doesn’t go unnoticed, “Trust me,” he pauses beginning a swim back to shore for you to follow him, “You’re a pretty big part Y/N.” 

∞

It’s now Friday, which means you and Jungkook only have one and a half days left of your trip. The thought makes you sad, though you know that it’s not like you wouldn’t be seeing Jungkook afterwards. He lives in the same neighborhood as you for chrissakes. But given the loom of your impending move in a couple months, you couldn’t help but feel a finality of your life here coming soon. 

You and Jungkook had gone out a couple times since being here, though neither of you had fully committed to getting too drunk. You had a feeling though that tonight you were ready to full let loose. Jungkook complimented you as soon as you were ready to leave, sending heat through your body. You were wearing a white two piece set—a small bralette type top with a matching mini-skirt that wrapped around your waist nicely. Your strappy heels gave you some height to Jungkook and you’re sure to any other tourist, you two looked like a couple. 

Jungkook looked absolutely ravishing, the familiar lump of the past couple weeks forming when you laid eyes on him. He was dressed in an extravagant short sleeve button that was a yellow and white along with white pants to tie everything in. You almost laughed one, being you’re 99% sure the shirt is Fendi—how the hell did he afford that?—and two, you’re not sure you’d seen him in anything in sweatpants and t-shirts since graduation. Even then, it took you and Taehyung a lot of convincing for Jungkook to wear dress pants under his cap and gown. 

You and Jungkook had ate dinner at a local sushi bar, getting a couple drinks there to pregame your evening. You don’t know how Jungkook ate and drank so much and keep the figure he had. It had to be genetics; there’s no other way. 

It was now a little past 9 and both of you were feeling drunk—a good drunk—a happy drunk. The bar you two were at was partially outside, with a dance floor and good drinks. You and Jungkook are talking to a couple who also happen to be on vacation. 

“Honeymooning is fun for sure,” the woman says, her words a little slurred, “Are you two honeymooning too?” 

Both you and Jungkook begin to stutter, shaking your heads awkwardly, mumbling your words together. 

“We’re not together,” you manage to get out as you lean against the bar for stability. Jungkook’s stood behind you, his chest touching your shoulder as his arm sits behind your frame protectively. 

The new husband’s eyes widen, “Could’ve fooled me,” he says, “Right honey?” 

“I agree Joon,” she eyes you up and down, clearly shameless as she does so. “Let’s go dance baby!” She suddenly exclaims. The couple—Namjoon and Camille—bid their farewells to you and Jungkook, leaving you two alone again at the bar. 

You suddenly feel a little awkward under the strangers gaze, looking up and over at Jungkook. He’s giving them a straight smile before his eyes watch them walk away, an amused expression filling his eyes as he begins to laugh. 

“You want another drink, honey?” He suddenly asks through a joke and you crack a smile, turning around to playfully push him. You catch a whiff of his scent as you stare at him intently, trying to ignore the deep stir of heat in your tummy. His gaze his vibrant as you take his sunglasses tucked from his shirt and place them over your eyes. 

“If you’re paying Jeon,” you smile at him wickedly. 

Jungkook orders both of you tequila shots, both of your faces scrunching up when you bite the lime for some relief. You have chills running down your spine, trying your best to keep the contents down. 

“We’re going to be hurting tomorrow,” you say, sliding the shot glass back towards the bartender. 

“I don’t even want to think about it,” he groans, suddenly reaching out to grab his phone. It’s buzzing in his hand, “It’s Junghyun,” he looks at you, “I’ll be right back?” 

You nod, telling him you’d be right here. You watch as he walks away from you, a deep exhale escaping you. You’re intoxicated again—intrusive thoughts taking over your brain. You reminiscence over the last two weeks with Jungkook here. He makes you so incredibly happy and you’re sure that if you let yourself, you’d fall deeply in love with him—more than you already are. You’ve been through thick and thin together. You can’t let yourself go there though—it couldn’t happen. The friendship you two had between each other was too important to you. You’re not even sure Jungkook could even feel these feelings towards you. For all you know, he was just talking about his shitty ex the other day. 

Your thoughts are interrupted when suddenly a man appears in front of you. A man that’s not Jungkook. He’s leaning his elbows on the bar as he waits for the bartender to take his order. He gives you a glance and you stare shamelessly. He’s quite attractive, that’s for damn sure. 

“You want a drink sweetheart?” He suddenly asks, the pet name not sounding as good as it does coming from your best friend. 

You find your voice over the music, “I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him knowing if you drink anymore, you’d be crossing the line of fun drunk to a miserable blackout. 

He nods respecting what you’ve said, ordering two shots of whiskey for himself. You look around the bar trying to find Jungkook. It’s loud and crowded, but you haven’t been able to spot him in that ridiculous yellow shirt. You wonder what Junghyun needed that’s taking so long. 

“What’s your name?” The strangers asks you as he turns his body to face yours completely. 

You lean towards him some to save your voice, “Y/N,” you tell him. 

A charming smile spreads across his face, “Well miss Y/N, why is a beautiful girl at this bar alone?” 

You’ve dealt with many men of this caliber, so his words don’t creep you out much. Internally you applaud him for using the term beautiful, and not the typical hot or pretty. 

“I’m not alone,” you tell him. He looks around the area you both are, your point not withstanding, “What’s your name?” You change the subject. 

He downs his second shot of whiskey, “Jackson. It’s nice to meet you,” he offers his hand graciously and you shake it in return. 

“Well Jackson,” you pause, feeling that tequila shot getting to you, “Why are you here at this bar alone?” 

He laughs, raising an eyebrow at you, “I’m not alone either,” he retorts. 

You nod slowly, a small smile spreading across your lips. Again, your eyes do another dance around the bar to spot Jungkook to no avail. 

“Do you want to dance with me Miss Y/N?” He suddenly asks taking you completely off guard. You open your mouth then close it, only to open it again to say nothing. You should say no. You know in your heart you should say no. However with no sign of Jungkook and this Jackson guy seeming like a normal guy, you felt no guilt when you take his hand for him to take you to the dance floor. 

The bar has great club and house music playing, making dancing an easy feat. Jackson is a great dancer, finding the rhythm to the songs easily as the DJ switches them rapidly. You find yourself comfortable with him, resting your hands lazily on his shoulders as he guides you through the motions. Maybe you’re too drunk, or you’re just relaxed, but you feel good in this moment. It reminds you of being a college freshman with Lisa, when you two would go to sweaty frat and baseball parties, dancing the night away with water bottles filled with cheap vodka. 

The tide between you and Jackson folds when you turn around, unknowingly pressing your back to his chest. You both are swaying in the changing lights, his arms resting on your waist protectively, his head resting on your left shoulder. You’ve always been a decent dancer too, Jackson finding it impressive as you keep up with each other. When you find a hand gripping at Jackson’s hair pulling him closer to you, it’s when reality hits, time freezing in that very moment. You’ve opened your eyes after sometime, across the bar Jungkook walks in, his eyes finding yours instantaneously. His lips part, a painful expression crossing his features. He watches you only for a moment, his heels turning himself around to leave you be, heart feeling like someone’s crucifying it. 

You suddenly panic, creating immediate space between you and Jackson. You turn around and lean up to his ear. 

“I’m sorry, I really have to go—“ you tell him in a rush. He’s clearly confused but before you can listen to whatever he has to say, your feet pick you up to the path Jungkook must have taken to get out of here. It’s difficult to get through the crowd of people, especially in your heels and drunkenly, but you manage. 

When you go to the outsider area of the bar, you don’t spot him. Shit, you think, where did he go? You start to panic, reaching for your phone out of your purse. You quickly scroll to his name, hitting the call button. You groan with an eye-roll—of course he isn’t going to fucking answer you. 

You’re not completely sure he’s not in the bar anymore, but you chance it, leaving the bar alone. Thankfully the streets are well lit and there are plenty of people around to make you feel safe. You’re typing him a mean text as you walk back towards your cottage, ready to curse him out when you see him. That is, until you actually see him—then your mind goes blank. 

Jungkook’s sat on the curb of a small, local convenient store eating what seems to be an ice cream sandwich. You’ve got to be fucking kidding. 

“Jungkook!” You nearly exclaim, “What the hell are you doing?” You approach him, stumbling slightly in your heels. 

He quickly notices how unstable you are, standing up to steady you, “You okay Y/N?” 

You push him off you, “No the fuck I’m not okay,” you spit at him, “You just left me there?” You’re drunk and frustrated, that’s all you know. 

“Here,” he offers the rest of his ice cream sandwich. You can’t resist him and you take it, eating it in two bites. He watches you carefully before saying, “Sorry, I just thought you were preoccupied.” 

You throw away the paper wrapper, looking at him like he’s crazy. 

“Are you for real Jungkook?” You press, not caring if you’re bringing attention to the two of you as people pass by. He shoves his hands into his pockets, exhaling heavily. 

“You want to go home?” He asks with straight lips. You cross your arms over your chest angrily, what the hell was his problem? 

“Do you want to go home?” You ask him in retaliation. 

He only looks a you a brief moment before nodded slowly. This conversation is seriously sobering you up faster than anything has ever before and nothing productive has even be said. 

He turns around, “C’mon,” he says. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him confused as he’s widened his stance, as if he’s ready for you to plow over him. 

“Hop on Y/N,” he says, “And don’t even try to fight me on this. I know your feet are killing you.” 

He wants to piggy back you home. You stay put, hands playing with each other awkwardly staring at his back. He glances over his shoulder and says your name again. 

“B-but your k-knee Jungkook,” you say hesitantly. You knew Jungkook weight lifted and did enough cardio for him to live until he was 105, but the last thing you wanted was for him to injure himself again, especially because of you.

“It’s fine Y/N, I promise,” he says, “I just want to get you home.” 

As you brace yourself on his shoulders, you try to jump as light as possible to lessen the blow to his body. He catches you gracefully, adjusting your knees in his hands. And home is where you two go. 

∞

After you two walk into the threshold of the cottage—you insisting on walking the last little bit of the way—a parable tension that could be cut with a knife has settled between you two. You tried your best to talk to him on the way back, but his answers were short and uninterested. You only had remnants of your drunkenness left inside you and if anything, you were tightening back up, even angrier than when you left the bar. 

Jungkook’s about to walk into your shared bedroom before you call after him. 

“Wait Jungkook!” You say. He stops in his tracks, turning to look at you. His face is unreadable in the dim lights of the cottage. “What the fuck happened back there?” You ask him as you take off your heels, leaving them by the couch. 

“It’s nothing Y/N,” he brushes you off, turning around to continue his path to the bedroom. Of course you follow him; he expected it. 

“Jungkook, come onnn,” you press, “Are you that pissed that I was dancing with someone else?” You can’t hide your anger and frustration if you tried. This wasn’t fair to you. He had paraded girls throughout college— parading Chaeyoung for a year and a half in front of you—and you never said anything about it no matter how much it bothered you. 

“Y/N it’s fine, can we just,” he pauses as he looks over at you, “Just drop it?” He’s taking off his rings and bracelets, your lip tucked between your teeth. 

You make an unsatisfied noise, stepping closer to him, “No we fucking can’t. What’s your problem Jungkook?” 

He leans on the dresser with both hands, his muscle definition showing through his shirt as he tenses up. His jaw clenches as he closes his eyes in deep reverie. You watch him carefully, knowing you probably should tread lightly given he’s pissed. But you know what? You’re pissed too. He can’t act like that with no explanation—that’s not fair to you. 

“Junghyun called me about you, you know,” are his first words as he looks over to you. 

“M-me?” You stutter, confusion lacing your tone. 

He pushes himself off the dresser, though he keeps distance between you two. He suddenly runs a frustrated grip through his hair, messing it up slightly. 

“You know, since you’re moving halfway across the fucking globe,” he sounds bitter, though deep dejection is mainly what you hear. You moving had been a sensitive topic with him ever since the interview stage happened with you months ago. It hurt you to speak about it with Jungkook the most. The thought of leaving him crushed both of you which is why neither of you had brought it up these past two weeks. 

“He was asking me if I had done it yet,” he laughs sarcastically, “Of fucking course he was.” 

You’re more confused than ever and you say his name in a whisper, but he continues. 

“You know the other day when you said that you were only a small part of my life, that’s when it really hit me,” he pauses, “You really don’t know how much you fucking mean to me Y/N. You’ve been my best friend for so long, been there with me through so much of my bullshit—my accident, losing my scholarship, losing my fucking life—“ he inhales deeply and you suddenly feel dizzy, unsure of where this conversation has turned.

“—And now I’m fucking losing you and I can’t even be honest with you because it doesn’t matter,” his voice breaks off as he looks at his feet. You start to panic, a roller coaster of emotions pulsing through you. 

You step towards him hesitantly, “Jungkook you can always be honest with me,” you grab his forearm, “I’m your best friend for fucksakes—stop with the hysterics and just tell me what’s wrong,” you plead with him. If your words weren’t enough, your eyes were giving a show. 

His bottom lip trembles as he meets your gaze. You have adrenaline running through you as he moves to rest his hands on your waist, gripping the skin tight. 

“I love you Y/N,” he says letting out a deep breath before he can second guess himself. 

“I know,” you tell him, “Jungkook you know I love you too.. you’re scaring me—“

“No Y/N,” he shakes his head, “I’m in love with you—like fucking crazy about you Y/N.” 

His words take your breath away, stumbling slightly as you can’t believe the words he’s saying. He’s what? Jungkook’s in love with you? You part your lips, unable to form sentences, shaking your head stunned 

“You don’t have to say anything,” he looks down, his forehead brushing yours, “But I couldn’t let you move without telling you—I don’t know how long it’s been but it just happened one day and I haven’t stopped since.” 

“Jungkook,” you finally whisper after some silence, your palms finding solace on his broad chest, “I-I don’t know what to say,” you pause looking up through your lashes. You feel like you could cry from the up and down of your emotions. 

You both stare at each other, unsure of who is going to make the next move. You decide that it will be you. 

“B-but when we talked the other night about the future and stuff… I thought you were talking about Chaeyoung,” you admit, feeling a little dumb now that this secret has been spilled. 

Jungkook lets out a laugh, unsure he heard you correctly, “Y/N—what, no, I haven’t spoken to Chaeyoung in months at this point,” he pauses, his strong hands gripping your forearms gently, “I was talking about you.. it’s always been you.”

There’s a silence that falls; a war raging in your head as you go through as many memories as you can with Jungkook. He’s been there for you at any moment you’ve needed him and vice versa. You couldn’t imagine a life without him and right now—you’ve finally decided in allowing yourself to be honest. 

“Y/N I know this is unfair since you’re leaving but—“

“I love you too Jungkook,” you interrupt him to which he responds with a mellow what, “I know that I’m in love with you Jungkook—I have for some time now, I just didn’t want to admit it.. I-I was scared and I didn’t know how to bring it up, fuck I’m sorry—“

You’re suddenly cut off with Jungkook’s lips covering yours. You instantly melt into his lips as your eyes close, your hands finding their way around his neck to pull him down to you. After a few moments, he pulls away from you, rubbing his nose against yours. 

“Is this real?” He asks, a small smile playing on his lips; all anxiousness leaving your body at once. You return a small smile, nodding in his delicate hold. 

“Real,” you whisper back, chasing after his lips once again. 

This time when your lips meet his, it’s more aggressive from each side, pouring out all frustration and built up pining over the years into it. His tongue opens your mouth wider and you sigh into him, tangling your fingers into his soft hair. His hands slither down from your waist to over your ass, pressing your hips into his. 

You’d never thought kissing someone could feel this good. Your entire body feels aflame as you both discover each others mouths piece by piece. Jungkook’s walked you backwards against the wall, holding you up against it firmly as you both continue to kiss each other feverishly. You rest your head against the wall as his lips move from yours to your neck, your breathing intensifying as he kisses and nips gently. 

“Jungkook,” you breathe heavily, as he places a kiss on your exposed shoulder, moving the flimsily strap to your top down. You get bolder with your own actions, maneuvering your hands underneath his shirt feeling his muscles tense under your touch. 

His lips find yours again, “I wanted this for so long Y/N,” he mumbles against your skin as you pull him taut to you. “Remember sophomore year? When you kissed me for that dare?” 

“Mhm,” you murmur in response as his hand experimentally trails its way up to cup your left breast, “How could I forget?” You tell him through a slight whine when he squeezes you through the thin material of your top. 

He smirks against your lips, tugging on your bottom lip ever so slightly, “I was so happy when you didn’t drink that bitch cup,” he admits. You can’t help but giggle at his words, one of your hands resting on the back of his neck to hold him close to you, “And this is much better than that.” 

You nip at his mouth again, “I agree,” you pause, your other hand playing with the buttons on his shirt, “Can I take this off?” You ask through your lashes; your voice soft and patient. 

Jungkook emits deep groan from his throat, “Is this okay with you?” He suddenly asks. 

You immediately nod, “Yes, yes, of course,” you begin your slow assault at his shirt buttons, undoing them one at a time. 

He kisses your forehead, “Okay… I just,” he pauses, “I’m just a little nervous,” he admits as he grapples at your waist again, pulling you flush against him. He’s got a growing bulge in his pants, making your squeeze your thighs together. 

“Why are you nervous?” You gaze at him with stars in your eyes, finding everything about him endearing and so lovable. 

He rests his forehead against yours, “I don’t know I’ve just thought about this for forever,” he pauses, “I want you to feel safe.” 

You smile sweetly at him, “I always feel safe with you Jungkook,” you tell him reassuringly. You lean forward, placing a kiss on his exposed chest when you finally undo the last button. You waste no time pushing the fabric off his golden skin, tattoos and all on fully display. 

“When did you get so hot?” You pout in between his kisses along your neck and collarbone. He chuckles into your skin, his hands now exploring both of your breasts through the fabric. 

“I’ve been wondering the same with you,” he kisses right between your cleavage, his fingers finding the zipper at the back of your top. 

“Please—“ your breath hitches when the cold air makes your nipples taut as he drags your shirt away, “Have you seen yourself?” You’ve barely finish your sentence until Jungkook’s lips are wrapping around your right nipple, sucking and teething at the sensitive. 

“Have you seen yourself Y/N?” He mumbles into your skin, paying attention to your left nipple now. “My pretty girl,” he breathes out pulling away from you, sending a fire through your veins. He grabs your hands and pulls you towards the bed not too far from the wall. 

You straddle him as you reconnect your lips together, rutting against him as your hips grind down. A shiver of pleasure runs through you, a subtle moan vanishing in his mouth. 

“Fuck,” he says, “Do that again, I like hearing you.” 

You chuckle, kissing near his ear, “Make me,” you challenge. Jungkook bites his lip, the grip on your hips tightening. 

Being as competitive as he is—it’s a challenge he’s willing to accept. 

Jungkook is suddenly flipping you two over, settling between your thighs, tits shaking as you readjust yourself. You spread your legs a little so he can sit comfortably on his knees between you, his bulge more prominent than ever, straining in his white pants. Your mouth literally waters as his hands push up your skirt, exposing your skimpy little lace thong that’s barely covering your cunt at this point. 

“Goddamn,” he gulps at the sight, his eyes flicking to yours quickly as your chest rises up and down in anticipation. You’re already so turned on—so wet just for him. If it was any other guy, you’d probably feel embarrassed but you were telling them truth when you said you felt safe with him. 

His tattooed hand slides down to your inner thigh, a couple of his fingers running over your clothed heat. Your hips cant outwards as he does this a couple times before he decides to ultimately pull your panties off, leaving them strung across the room somewhere. 

You hold his gaze as he spits onto his fingertips, now finding your bare pussy exposed for him in all its glory. He doesn’t waste time in dipping a finger inside you to test the waters. When your mouth falls open, he takes it as a good sign when you start to beg him for more. 

“Jungkook please,” you push out your hips, trying to get the most of one finger though it’s no use. “I need more,” you whine. 

He leans down, placing a kiss to your lips, “I know baby, I know,” you gasp when he adds in another finger, a steady strong of moans escaping you when he begins a gentle rhythm in and out of you. It’s torture the way it feels so so good, yet it’s still leaving you wanting more. 

He gets a hold of your right leg, holding it up slightly so he can penetrate deeper inside with his fingers, his thumb rubbing up against the hood of your clit. 

“Hold yourself open for me baby,” he says to which you obey, holding onto the side of your leg just as he was, “Good girl,” he praises you, which creates even more slick arousal. 

From here, he takes one of his hands to pull your clitoral hood open, using his other to circle your bud and enter your pussy in alternating motions. 

“Ah, shit—“ your hips jerk against him when you begin to feel yourself start to climb that hill to an orgasm. Your continuously moaning was sending him mad and your glistening cunt was a full invitation for him. 

He shifts his weight, his lips meeting your center to which your back arches off the mattress, a strained whine from you as he flicks his tongue over your clit. It’s obscene the way he gives you head—it’s hot and messy, little to no friction as he goes from focus on your hole with both his fingers and mouth, to sucking heavily on your clit. You could feel yourself dripping on the sheets underneath you, the wetness making Jungkook involuntarily push his cock into the mattress. 

“Jungkook—I’m gonna come,” you manage through your tight breaths. 

“Yeah baby?” He muses against you, the vibration of his voice sending a shockwave through your already swollen clit. You nod desperately into the bed, holding his head down with your left hand as your hips chase to meet his movements. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” chants fall from your lips when you feel yourself tip over the edge, falling heavily into an orgasm that overtakes your entire body. You don’t even care if you’re loud as you moan and rile beneath him, your pussy clenching around his fingers before he pulls them out to watch your cunt clench around nothing. 

“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he marvels as you come down from your high, your body clearly relaxed now as you find time to catch your breath. You lean up on your elbows as he meets you halfway to kiss you again. He tastes like you as he tongues the inside of your mouth carefully. 

You scoot your body down some, hands finding the front of his pants. You can tell he’s big just by running your hand over his cock through the clothes. He inhales a sharp intake of breath when you squeeze him a little. You break your kiss to focus on getting him out of the fabric, unzipping and unbuttoning his pants quickly. You take notice of his white Calvin Kleins as he helps you push them down past his ankles. 

In a rush, you tug down the front of his boxers—breath hitching in the back of your throat. He was big—the biggest you’ve ever seen—thick and long between his muscular set of thighs. 

You whine when you take him in, never experiencing a want for someone so badly in your entire life. 

“Can I please suck it?” You whisper, your words sounding like sweet saccharine to his ears. As tempting as that sounds for him, he wasn’t sure how long he would last with you, and he needed to be inside of your pussy when he came.

“Not right now baby,” he says firm in his tone, “I want to be inside you so bad,” he sounds just as desperate as you feel. 

You nod quickly as you begin to take your skirt off since it’s still the last piece of clothing on you. Jungkook’s hands stop you quickly.

“No, no,” he chuckles, “Gonna fuck you in this pretty skirt,” he places a zealous kiss on your lips one more time before he suddenly gets up hurrying over to one of his duffle bags. He returns quickly and you watch carefully as you notice him tearing open a condom packet, his abs visible each time he breathes. 

“You brought condoms?” You ask him curiously. 

He smirks as he begins to roll it down over his fully hardened cock, “I’ve been bringing them with us everywhere since we went to Europe,” he explains as he instructs you to scoot back some. The thought makes you feel bubbly on the inside, laughing at him some. 

“So you’ve just assumed that we’re gonna fuck one day then?” You ask him as he settles between you, rubbing his tip against your folds. 

He closes his eyes briefly, before smirking again, “Never assumed, just hoped,” he lines himself up with your entrance, having to fight not to just slam right into you, “I’ll start slow okay?” 

You nod as you grip behind his neck and shoulder with each hand. Once Jungkook begins to push into you, you literally forget how to breathe. Jungkook groans as he bites his lip in full concentration, pushing a little farther. 

“It’s okay, breathe baby,” he encourages, “I know you can take it. My baby can take it, right?” 

He knows very well you can—he just wants to hear you say it in your voice that’s laced in honey and arousal for him. 

You nod faster that you ever had, “God, yes Jungkook I can, yes I can,” you finally find your oxygen as he pushes in slowly to the hilt. Your jaw was slack as his forehead rests against your own, a burning between your legs but pleasurable enough that you begin to involuntarily clench around him. 

“Shit baby, don’t do that,” he warns, “This tight little pussy is all mine, right?” 

“Of course Jungkook—“ he pulls back, then pushing back in, your hips canting upward to help him fulfill every inch inside you. “Oh my god—“ you whimper as he slowly begins to find his pace. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

“Yes, fuck yes, Jungkook just please don’t stop,” you beg, “Go faster, please.” 

One of his hands grip your right hip, the other fisting the sheets by your head as he does as he’s told, picking his pace up slowly but surely as the seconds pass. Its blissful heaven having him fill you up so good. You’d never thought you’d be in this position with Jungkook, but as time passes you wish that you two had got around to it a lot sooner. 

With each snap of his hips, your body moves upwards given force. A mantra of noises come from you as you watch his brows furrow from above you, strained groans and breathes escaping his lips. You could feel the simmering of another orgasm approaching you as his perfect stroke hits your g-spot. You grab at his face to steady him; his pace thrown off a bit when you lean up to kiss his lips gently. 

“Let me get on top,” you whisper to him. He tugs on your lip, unsure if he wants to give up control but with you, he’d relinquish any day. He pulls out, leaving you hallow with you quickly pushing him off of you and down to the mattress. His back is rested against the pillows and headboard to which you grab with one hand, using your another hand to line yourself back up with him. 

After you sink down, your arousal making it easy this time—you begin to find a pace against him that’s calculated to hit your insides in all the right areas. Jungkook grips your hips, pushing your skirt up slightly as he marvels up at you, drunk in a haze of you and you only. With uneven breaths, you can tell you’re on the verge of coming again, so he licks his thumb before he places it on your clit. Each touch of your hips presses firmly against his finger, explicative falling from your lips in a rush. 

“God—Jungkook, I-I can’t,” you choke out, squeezing around him tightly as he begins to push his own hips up to meet yours. 

One of his hands makes it way to your throat, pulling your forehead down to his as he takes the oxygen away from you. It’s too much—it’s all too much. 

“Yes baby, you can,” he encourages, “My pretty girl, come with me,” he adds after he begins to hold you in place some, shoving his hips up in a brutal pace to chase his own climax. 

It doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to hit, hit tipping backwards as you let out a half-scream of his name, jumbled together with high pitched moans. It goes on longer than your last one, convulsing around his cock as you lean forward in a daze. 

Jungkook’s close—his lip tucked into his teeth, brows deeply furrowed as he continues his pace up inside you. With a bated breath, he announces he’s going to come and you encourage him just as he did you. He spills into the condom with a whiney groan in submission to you, his movements coming to end an end shortly after he rides his climax out. 

He’s got his arms wrapped around your torso and you cradle him to your chest as you both try to catch your breaths. He lifts your hips slightly to let himself fall out of you, though he keeps you close to him after, looking up at you through a lazy smile. 

You return one to him, meeting your lips to his. The kiss is gentle and love worthy as your heart swells so much it feels like it could burst for the man beneath you. 

You pull away from him, “Can I take this skirt off now?” 

He chuckles before nodding, placing a kiss on your shoulder before you move off of him to discard the final article of clothing on your frame. You climb back into bed after you throw on a slinky tank top and use the bathroom—a UTI was not going to plague you. Jungkook pulls on a pair of briefs, opening his arms up to you once he climbs back in. You cuddle up right next to him, an arm slung around his bare chest, leg over his as he pulls you closer with one arm. The two you mindlessly talk about nothing before you feel yourself drifting off to sleep. The last thing you recall is Jungkook placing a kiss on your head, telling you that he loves you again, leaving little to no space between each other this time on the bed. 

∞

The bright sun is what wakes you up the next morning, a strained mumble coming from you as you stretch out on the bed. You’re halfway on your back, halfway on your side when you open your eyes. You rub them with your knuckles to clear them of any matter. When the room fully focuses, you freeze in your position, stomach dropping a little bit. Your head hurts from the alcohol but it wasn’t enough alcohol to make you forget what happened. 

You and Jungkook had had sex and professed pining love to each other. 

You quickly turn over to find yourself alone in the bed, your anxiety and cortisol levels skyrocketing. You also take notice that Jungkook’s not out on the balcony that connects to the room. You sit up a little too quickly for your headache, taking a moment to steady yourself. 

You grab your phone off the nightstand, checking the time and any messages you have. There’s only a few that you decide you’ll answer later. Nothing from Jungkook. 

You push the sheets and duvet off your frame, hurrying over to your suitcase to pull on a pair of shorts. You quickly make your way out of the bedroom, finding the living and kitchen space empty. Maybe he was in the bathroom? 

“Jungkook?” You call out. No answer. 

You suddenly feel like you’re going to get sick. Insecurity and all other horrifying thoughts cross your brain. Did he leave you here? Did he get scared and go home? Did he really fuck you only to leave you? 

You feel like you could cry as you lean onto the couch for support. You hold back your tears, breathing heavily in and out to keep yourself calm. 

Where the fuck—

The door to the cottage is suddenly unlocked, pushing open to reveal your best friend in all his glory. He’s dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, carrying a brown bag in one hand, balancing two coffees on his arm. 

“Oh, good morning!” He flashes his million dollar smile at you as he sets down all of his belongings on the kitchen island. 

You stand there with a pout, not saying anything to him. He looks at you slightly confused, walking over to see what’s wrong. 

“Are you okay?” He asks with concern, grabbing gently behind your elbows. 

You push at his chest with flat palms, “I thought you left me,” you whine. A smile cracks open as he laughs some. 

“Why would I have left you?” He questions you, “I just went and got us some breakfast while you were still sleeping,” he explains. 

“Well I can see that now,” you push back, “I just thought.. maybe you got scared and left,” you trail off, looking away from him now that you feel a little dumb for jumping to such horrible conclusions. 

Jungkook pulls you in for a hug to which you return it like a kid grabbing onto their teddy bear tightly. 

“I would never do that Y/N,” he says placing a kiss to your head, squeezing you playfully as he sways you dramatically, “I’m kind of offended that you think I would,” he then says with a pinch to your ass cheek. 

“Ow!” You push yourself off of him with a laugh, “Sorry, it’s just,” you chew on your lip when you meet his gaze, “I don’t really know how to go about this whole friends to lovers thing.” 

He pulls you to the kitchen so you two can begin to eat your breakfast. The coffee is great; just what you needed to cure your headache. 

“It’s simple,” he says as he sits down beside you after he’s placed your breakfast sandwiches out. 

“Is it really?” You push through a mouthful of food—gross you know, but Jungkook was the last person to care. 

He quirks that pierced eyebrow at you that just drives you absolutely mad, “Hell yeah. We’re still best friends we’re just gonna have lots of sex now.” 

You look at him stunned before you both are laughing hysterically together. Maybe he is right. Simple. As the two of you eat your breakfast, you can’t help but feel so very happy but also so very sad. The two of you have created a bubble of paradise and it’s going to burst as soon as you get back on the plane to head back home. 

“Jungkook,” you say, turning the conversation serious after you both have finished your meals. He responds with a hm? “I’m still moving after the summer,” you bring it up hesitantly given how touchy it is; but there was no escaping and hiding from the truth. You were leaving; Jungkook was staying here. 

He tenses up in his seat, pursing his lips as he glances over at you, “That’s another reason Junghyun called me last night,” he begins. You look at him confused, asking what he means, “I’ve been thinking about telling you about my feelings for so long Y/N, and I clearly have shit timing,” he laughs ironically, “But Junghyun has known for awhile now—I think before I even knew it but um,” he pauses, “He made me promise to him that by the end of this trip that I would tell you, so he was on my ass about it last night.” 

You smile at him sweetly, resting your hand over his, “Well now you can tell him you kept that promise,” you offer. 

His gaze doesn’t quite meet yours, “Yeah, but that’s not all,” he pauses as you listen to him, “I’ve been applying to jobs in New York,” he admits. 

Your lips part as your eyes widen, “What?” You’re nearly breathless as you ask the question—feeling like Jungkook took a baseball bat to your chest. “Why would you do that?” You press. 

He swallows heavily, “I just, I knew whenever you said you were going there that I just couldn’t not try with you,” he pauses, his gaze looking almost apologetic, “I didn’t want to be four thousand miles away from you so I panicked and started applying for jobs there,” he explains, “I don’t want you to be mad, and I’ve already talked to my family about it and they’re all okay with it,” he says in a rush, “I just didn’t want you to be alone there, whether I confessed my feelings to you or not.” 

He’s chewing on his lip and you can tell he’s nervous. You turn over his palm so you can intertwine your fingers together, giving him a soft gaze. 

“While this has completely caught me off guard,” you say honestly, “I would never be mad at you over this,” you squeeze his hand for reassurance, “Did you really apply to jobs there because of me?” 

He nods a few times before he hangs his head low. You take your other hand and push his shorter fringe away from his face. While you’re positive many more details have to be worked out, that fact Jungkook made this decision makes you feel an amount of butterflies and love you’ve never experienced before. 

“And you’d for sure want to be in New York?” 

He looks up at you with those big doe-eyes that haven’t changed from the day you met him, “I’d go wherever you were Y/N. It could be the worst fucking place in world and I’d go there with you.” 

You lean over, pressing your lips to his gently. 

“I love you.” 

He smiles in return, “I love you more.” 

You pout some, “That’s not fair—no one is allowed to ‘love more’.” 

He kisses you again gently as he pulls you from the bar stool to stand between his legs. His hands squeeze your ass playfully as you try to pull away. 

“Well I can be the exception,” he leans into you, his arms wrapping around you protectively. You roll your eyes, a short laugh escaping your lips.

“You know what this means?” You ask inquisitively. 

“What?” 

“Lots of sex to be had,” you emphasis, “And even more of blowjobs.” 

His eyes widen, his jaw slightly clenching and you swear he whines as he looks up at you, pressing your front to his crotch, “Can we start that sooner than later?” 

You give him your answer through another kiss and moving your hands at the waistband of his pants. God, you think as you take in the already domesticated environment you two have made together, you could really get used to this. Jeon Jungkook was your best friend and at the end of the day—all you two needed was each other and somewhere to go.

[wwinterwitch]

hey there! i was wondering if i could request a wade wilson x avengers fem reader? i love wade and the deadpool franchise so so much!! thank you :)

tysm for your request, this is my first time writing a deadpool fic but hopefully it's not that bad lmao

THE GOOD AND THE BAD - DEADPOOL

summary: your team allowed you to bring your boyfriend along for a mission...now they deeply regret it

pairing: wade wilson (deadpool) x avenger!fem!reader

word count: 1K

warnings: language, flirting, fluff, wade's a goof but a softy only for you, tony slander lmao, not proof-read

a reblog is always appreciated :)

my masterlist

"So...at which part of the plan we do that superhero group pose you all love to do?"

No one said a thing after that comment. The same thing happened every time Wade would open his mouth. You simply sat on the seat next to him, knowing everyone were already tired of hearing him talk.

They never really got to meet this mysterious boyfriend of yours before the mission. All they really knew is that he existed and he has been dating you for a few months.

When you told them he was in the superhero business (mostly), they even suggested he could try to join the Avengers. You knew right away the idea would repulse Wade, so you had to tell your team he liked to work on his own to avoid telling them the truth. Even when Wade thinks, as he once put it, "the Avengers are slightly less annoying and lame than the X-Men", you doubted he would ever want to be part of this team.

Still, he agreed to join you on a mission. Wade mostly agreed to get to spend more time with you, since you've been a lot busier after becoming an Avenger. He'd constantly make fun of you for being a superstar now, teasing you about the interviews, ridiculous outfits and terrible hero names.

"You've got to be kidding me!" he exclaimed one day. "A guy literally calls himself ant-man?"

"Well, he can shrink," you shrugged. "What else did you expect?"

"Your whole team is ruled by the biggest capitalist in the whole entire world and he can't get y'all a manager or publicist, or something? Someone that can come up with better names?" he insisted, shaking his head.

"Your best friend literally calls himself Spider-Man."

"Yeah, and his name sucks too."

"We don't actually plan those," Peter replied to Wade's question in an attempt to make the situation less awkward.

"Oh, of course you don't," he muttered sarcastically, leaning back on his seat. "Ugh, this looks like a very expensive plane, did you lost all the budget before you could buy comfortable seats?"

Tony heard that comment and turned to look at you, trying very hard not to roll his eyes. "Where did you find this guy again?

"Uh, a bar?" was all you could come up as an answer, knowing he wasn't exactly asking that.

"She was drunk, I was drunk– we had greaaaaat sex that night, and have been together ever since."

"How about we keep quiet until we get there?" Natasha said this time, hoping she could get to end the conversation.

Lucky for you, no one else said anything. Wade leaned closer to you and whispered, "I hate this people so much already. The redhead with anger problems and the patriotic blondie over there are hot tho."

"Nat and Steve?" you whispered back. "Yeah, I thought the exact same thing when I first met them."

"But you are definitely the hottest Avenger."

"You say that because you're my boyfriend."

"No. I say it because I have excellent taste," he corrected. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I saw a few posts on Tumblr that agree with me."

You laughed at his comment before leaning closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder as you snuggled closer to him affectionately.

All jokes aside, Wade loves when you show him any sort of affection. He likes physical affection the most, but he can't deny he enjoys when you tell him how much you love him or when you would surprise him with romantic dates or awesome gifts. Sometimes he can be a little insecure, so it's nice to have you around to remind him he's deeply loved.

He immediately wrapped an arm around you as you got more comfortable. A thing you loved about him was his ability and willingness to give you as much as he receives from you. It's the little things and gestures he only does for you that make you fall harder for him every day.

To the outside world he was this annoying, loud, mediocre, never-takes-anything-serious type of guy, but to you he was much more than that. You got to know the soft, caring, honest Wade Wilson. The one that would stop doing whatever he's doing to come home to you if you're having a bad day. The one that treats you like you're the most precious thing that has ever existed. The one that would do anything to keep you safe and make you happy.

So yeah, he was an annoying asshole with an incredibly dark sense of humor who says and do lots of questionable things. But you love him just like that, and you wouldn't change a thing.

"Okay, listen up," Steve said after a few minutes, catching the team's attention. "We'll be landing soon and we need to go over our plan again."

He turned to look at you first. "You, Nat, Clint and Kate stay back to cover the entire perimeter– remember to stay hidden. Tony, Wanda, Vision, Rhodey...you're in charge of any incoming attack from the air. Bruce, Wade, Peter, Thor and I will be at the centre of what will definitely be a very heated battlefield, so we'll need help for you guys hiding nearby," he continued. "Stay on your positions, work together and good luck. Questions?"

Wade immediately raised his hand. Steve sighed. "Yes, Wade?"

"What was everyone's names again?"

"Green monster, blue-white-red boy, hammer and spider are on your team," Tony snapped, exasperated. "Try to help them."

"Got it! Why aren't you the one in charge with the speeches?"

Tony slightly nodded at the same time as Rhodey tried not to laugh. "Never though this moment would come but I agree with you. Thanks."

"Oh, you're welcome," Wade replied.

"Guys, please focus," Steve interrupted.

You grabbed Wade's glove-covered hand, giving it a light squeeze before letting him go. "Looks like you've made a friend," you joked.

"If only he didn't embody absolutely everything I hate about our system," he says. "I bet he's pro life, too."

"You think I'd work with him if he was?"

"Fair enough," he nodded. "I'm gonna miss you out there."

"Me too, but remember we have a date when all of this is over."

"Yup. And remember the one who kills the less amount of bad guys has to pay for dinner."

"Meaning, you."

"Don't claim victory just yet, honey," he quickly replied, starting to load his guns. "Remember how much I hate paying for food."