#will be complicated BUT !! ik i can do it and i just im so happy rn and so at peace and it may be the minecraft music but i gen feel like i

[whomturgled]

i have so many feelings and i hate it

[8aji]

i feel like the planets are aligning and i'm so happy to be writing this and so grateful for everything everything !!

[weimitsu]

Love being an artist bc i can just draw silly little snippets of things without having to justify them as a detailed story w consequences or i would go insane

[oddeyecir-cle]

 ✶ ˖  ࣪  📹 .  ぅ

lee donghyuck enemies to lovers fic ideas (all fics are haechan × reader)

haechan who is your rival coworker + secretly deadpool

for the sake of this story, lets assume deadpool does hide his identity. he works at a tech company and is constantly beefing with his coworker that he's lowkey attracted to. and the plot could maybe be something like you accidentally finding out his identity and then using that information to slightly/ kind of/ in a non-toxic way blackmail him. eg: making him run errands for you, asking to tag along on his quests as deadpool. then the pair gets closer through all the time they spend together etc etc.

✶ note : hyuck HAS to be the sassiest, funniest, most sarcastic, cocky human being ever. also include some spidermark maybe

haechan as the prince of the neighbouring kingdom

historical au. very basic ik but hear me out. your kingdom's glory and power is gradually draining and it's threatened by multiple rivaling kingdoms. that is when your mother, the queen, tells you there is no choice but to turn to hyuck's kingdom for help. you hate the idea but you know everyone's counting on you so you go through with it anyways. (this is historical so there could be a very cool scene of the reader riding on a horse in battle armour to neighbouring kingdom's palace themself but whatever). they're good, kind people so they agree to help you. they send over a part of their military along with some weapons and of course haechan himself, their most prized possession who, like you, is skilled with a sword and is a wise leader. there's lots of quarrels between the both of you when it comes to the topic of which one has more power over the other and about who should be leading the troops. but you soon put your animosity aside when you realize that you have to work as a team to win. (insert dramatic battle sequence with swords and arrows flying around. at one point, you and haechan lock eyes and suddenly he drops to the ground. the world starts to blur around you when you realize he's been stabbed in his back. you frantically rush to his aid but he falls limp in your arms. its now upto the writer to kill him there itself and end the story. very angsty, i love. or they could also save him somehow and give main characters the happy ending they deserve).

 ✶ note : sloooooowwwww buuuurn. i mean this should be a long ass series with 7k+ words per chapter. should be so heavy on the angst and the hate that it makes you wonder if they do actually end up loving each other in the end. please include sword fighting scenes with sexual tension i beg you. (im big on bollywood, can u tell).

haechan as a stranger/ tour guide you meet on a family trip

you've just gotten out of a 3 year long relationship after your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend. things get worse when your family, unaware of your breakup, forces you on a 2 week trip to *insert destination of choice" . here you meet the annoying, sarcastic, a-little-too-happy-for-his-own-good donghyuck. he is with the group your family is touring with (him being the tour guide is a pretty cute plot too but it could kind of complicate things later) and instantly wins everyone over with his charm, except you of course. in classic hyuck fashion, he tries to keep getting your attention and eventually succeeds. his company helps ease the pain of the heartbreak he didn't even know about. its bittersweet when it's time to part ways. you realise after you come back to your college dorm that you never exchanged phone numbers and you fail to find him on social media as well. but fate has strange ways of bringing people together. which is why you cant stop smiling when crash into a certain someone during a regular grocery run.

✶ note : more on the fluff and less on the angst for this one. and maybe a dash of slice of life as well.

haechan as captain of the football team.

there is no actual plot for this other than the fact that you're a cheerleader and also his academic rival (there is no trope i love more than this). my vision for this is very 2000s romcom. ik this isn't a lot to work with but there could be some sub trope like fake dating mostly.

✶ note: nothing much just make it cute

+i have a few more ideas, will probably make a part 2

++if in the future, by some miracle, people do find these interesting enough to use, please dont forget to credit me!!

[ct2n]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Tips for burnout

Shifterss *ੈ✩‧₊˚

— *ੈ✩‧₊˚ Shifting motivation *ੈ✩‧₊˚—

u are in charge of ur journey, not anyone else. So if u don’t wanna shift again or “can’t” shift then take a break. Shifting isn’t a job or a career, it’s a skill u choose to use. Shifting doesn’t have to be difficult or complicated or frustrating.

Shifting also isn’t something u have to do right now. If u haven’t shifted yet then that’s fine but also take a moment to reflect on what’s causing u not to shift. Maybe it’s a method ur using, or ur head isn’t in the best place right now. Whatever it is, u need to deal with it to help u shift. I’m not saying u can’t shift without having worries or doubts or fears, but some things may be pushing u back or holding u back from shifting.shifting is 100% real so shift when u know ur ready. It may take a good minute but trying is better then not trying at all.

— *ੈ✩‧₊˚ Shifting mindset*ੈ✩‧₊˚—

reprogram ur mind to shift, if ur stuck on one aspect of shifting or ur not fully understanding how shifting works dont let that hold u back from shifting. U don’t have to understand something fully for mind to do it, u can just do it. Finding the mental block that keep holding u back and reprogramming ur mind to let go of that belief or behavior surrounding shifting. Will help u over come ur burn out and find out why it may not be happening for u right now.

Take some time to reflect on ur past shifting journey and try to figure out some reasons why u keep getting burnt out. Maybe ur focused on the wrong things like having ur script finished. Or ur not consistent enough with ur journey, or maybe ur to analytical about ur shifting journey. Whatever it maybe find it and accept it and move on. Change that part of ur journey and continue moving on. I’m not saying obess over that for weeks im saying use that to better urself and not do it in the future.

— *ੈ✩‧₊˚Taking Breaks *ੈ✩‧₊˚—

Take a break from ur shifting journey, and use that time to focus on something else, weather that be school, an hobby or just life in general. Take time to self reflect and care for urself. Shifting should be easy but if it isn’t that’s completely fine too but all im saying is if it’s getting more difficult for u, relax for a little bit then come back to shifting. And yk u must think “well what if im about to shift” or something like that. Baby shifting will always be there but ur mental health and time won’t. Burning urself out before u get to ur dr will make not only ur cr self burnt out but also ur dr self to. If you were to shift when u weren’t ready there might be things in ur dr that ur not prepared for mentally. Which will cause further damage to ur mental health then if u just took a break.

— *ੈ✩‧₊˚Stop putting shifting on a pedestal *ੈ✩‧₊˚—

Shifting isn’t a new idea or new concept that can magically fix ur problems. Shifting is real and when u shift all ur doing is shift to another version of life, it may be a slightly better version but it’s still life. When u realize that you’ll stop putting shifting on this high standard in ur life. Shifting is a skill and how u wanna use it is dependent on u. So don’t expect to shift to ur dr and have a magically time just cause u thought ur dr was some fanfic or fantasy for urself. Shifting is fun but only if u realize it’s a real thing. U will experience those things in ur dr and u will experience sadness and happiness.

Don’t use shifting as a way to escape ur cr. Like I said about it being real dont use it as a way to escape ur cr problems. Shifting is just shifting it isn’t a magical tool that will fix everything in ur life.

— *ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚—

Ik some of the stuff in here isn’t all sunshine in rainbows but some of yall needed to hear this stuff. But take care of urself and u will shift!!

[braxlrose]

Can you write about Bill having a partner that’s essentially like Avril Lavigne? That could be cool

a/n: I envy avril lavigne sooo let's do this, I scrolled all the way down through my asks and I never saw this so sorry this is so late!

edit: LMFAO IM SORRY 😭

also a shout out to @millzieraa cuz ik you lost your old account which was @krav3nn, so go check her account out you guys!!

bill w/ a avril lavigne wannabe gf who's like avril lavigne

-he literally is obsessed with the way you dress. he thinks you look so cool and yall borrow eachother clothes all the time. im not joking, he actually thinks your style is the awesome and loves how close it is to his style

-he goes to skate parks with you and watches you do a bunch of tricks. like whenever you do one and do it really good he's smiling and clapping and all this shit. he also would love it if you taught him or tried to teach me how to do some tricks.

-if you do end up teaching him some stuff he totally shows it off on tokio hotel tv

-he also loves you a lot because you and tom get along really well. you and tom are a lot a like a tons of ways so he's happy that you're able to get along with his brother. he doesn't date girls who can't get along with tom.

-would literally dieeeee if you made a song about him. like he thinks your musik is amazing so he would love it if you made a song about him.

-he also writes songs about you. he can't help it. he's just so in love with you and thinks you're the coolest person ever. he loves you so much and will write multiple songs about you.

-one of the reasons he fell for you is because you weren't afraid to be yourself and didn't want others to hide who they were either. (let's pretend avrils music is music you actually make). like the song complicated, he loves how you just want people to be themselves and not change for anybody

-he also loves how fun and accepting you are. he likes people who are fun and spontaneous and you're just that

-totally does musik collabs with you and your band

-helps you dye your hair colors

-you and your band and tokio hotel go to parties together all the time. you and Bill both get equally drunk and just make out and dance together all night

-if there's a language barrier between you two, he'll figure out a way to communicate with you

-loves watching you play guitar and tom always gets kinda jealous if you play something better than him

-you two go shopping together at thrift stores allll the time to find new cool clothes

-is literally the best at giving you birthday presents since you and him have so much in common

-he gets your name tattooed on him

-he loves going to your concerts and watching you sing and play guitar. moving around stage and just listening to your amazing voice

-he also loves it when you come to his concerts, he gets so happy when he can see you in the crowd or if you're backstage and you give him a kiss for good luck before a concert

-thought it was the coolest thing when you wrote Sk8ter Boi (let's pretend it's about tom, and that the end of the song is changed bc obviously you don't end up w/ tom). but yeah he loved it and thought it was super awesome

-the band is really important to him and since you're in the musik business you're able to understand that the band is the most important thing to him and he really loves that about you. he had his last girlfriend break up with him because she said he didn't have enough time for him so he's really glad you're able to understand how much the band means to him and everything

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7 @billybabeskaulitz

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

i feel reallllllly bad abt this

so some backstory my bf plays a lot of military video games (war thunder esp thats his fave) and loves military boats and planes and wants to go into the military via an academy.

i have a complicated relationship w the military and military men. a lot of the men in my family (my grandfathers, uncles, cousins etc) were at one point in the military and it didnt go well for any of them. they all have major issues cause of their service. my grandfather developed a drinking problem after vietnam, my great uncle extreme PTSD after fighting in Iraq and all have or had been abandoned by the govt esp my uncles. so needless to say i have a weird relationship w the us govt and military systems.

so my bf wants to go into the military and while im well aware that high school sweethearts usually dont work out weve been dating for over 3 years straight and bros been talking abt marriage lately so i kinda have a feeling well last so his military dreams scare the SHIT out of me. not just the possibility of having him come back in a casket, or not coming back at all but him coming back so different, angry/violent or a drunk or an addict or sick or all of the above. i want him to be happy but i dont want him to come back blown to bits or missing limbs.

hes one of those people who wants to do it for the glory. the love of country the idea of coming back a hero. the way the current politics are going in america were probably gonna have a huge war soon maybe even on 2 fronts, WWIII. that scares me too just in general and add someone i love so much so far for so long going years w/o seeing him, sometimes not knowing if hes dead or alive. scares me but thats so selfish. thats my problem im so selfish about it. ive told him my concerns and it makes me feel like a bad person cause ik he wants this pretty bad tho he did say if he doesnt get into an academy he wont enlist hell go somewhere else for engineering and work for the govt that way. but i just feel so selfish. i want him to be happy but i also want him alive and safe.

also while im being honest here i really dont think hes military material. hes not very uh fit (i doubt hed pass the physical test), his grades r pretty average the academies r really hard to get into, hes EXTREMELY stubborn which the military would not at all approve of he only does one extracurricular, and he has some other problems i wont mention that wouldnt go well in the military. so his chances at an academy arent very high but just enough to scare me.

and i know its selfish which is why i feel so bad about it. its so complicated. on one hand i really dont want him to go and i just want him to consider the pros and cons, he has a very video game propaganda-y watered down "glory" view of the military that they can do no wrong and i know the other end the trauma, the abandonment, the fear, ive heard the stories the stories of men watching each other get blown up, watching civilians struggle to breathe cause of the chemicals we used, my grandfather had to watch his best friend get his legs blown off. the coming back different, changed and not for the better. sure the glorys nice the honor is amazing but at what cost? i have relatives who have purple hearts and were abandoned by the system that gave it to them. on the other hand tho i know its so selfish to not want him to follow what he wants to do. to tell him he shouldnt, that its a bad idea, that its not worth it, that the risk isnt worth the possible reward, to think abt how once u sign on that dotted line u cant quit till ur contract is up. im gonna follow my dreams of being an artist so why should i let him follow his?

i feel so conflicted abt it. i cant tell where the line between caring and selfishness is. i feel guilty and selfish and scared all at the same time. i hope and pray he changes his mind but i know i cant make him no matter how many times i not so subtly mention the possiblity of death, disability, PTSD the thousands of things that can go wrong. i feel so selfish but i cant help my fear. i think i care too much. thats my problem. i care too much abt his physical safety i overlook his happiness. i apologized to him abt my selfishness over this like a half hour ago and havent heard back.

[i-amyou]

hey I had a question!

so, the thing is, I honestly have been trying to sit with myself in silence, go beyond the mind and stay in the present moment as much as I can and sometimes I also feel genuine happiness and joy when I sit in silence so I often feel like I'm very close (ik that's the ego but still 😬) so, I usually do this at night before going to bed and it's not like I have set a time, it's just that that's when I genuinely feel like sitting in silence, thats when I genuinely feel peace but then it's only that moment I feel peace and happiness and the rest of the day I'm in my doer mentality, (like I'm in rn) where I feel like I need to learn more or do more or i have more doubts and fears, so sometimes I feel i should be a bit more disciplined and instead of scrolling through my phone or listening to music for no reason I could sit in silence but I often feel lazy and tell myself I shouldn't force it, and i remember Lester Levenson also once said that "effort is a sign you don't yet understand what needs to be done, if you want to attain something you should do nothing. the more you want something the less you will have it, when you no longer care about what happens, it will happen." but is sitting in silence and staying in the present moment effort? because every blogger anyway just say to go within and stay in silence, so should I actually discipline myself into doing that more? because I feel when I actually do that, that's when I feel peace and I'm not doubting but then sometimes I feel like I'm forcing it and that's never good, so should I just stick with staying in silence just at night like I mentioned because it feels natural only then? but what if that turns into a habit? I might have to drop that as well? 😭 plus what about the feeling like I need to do more for rest of the day? and honestly I've also let go of all my desires at this point, I used to have a HUGE list of desires that I wanted to "manifest" but now I honestly don't even feel like thinking about them lol, I'm just so sick of running around in circles im also just so sick of desiring at this point. all I really want rn is freedom but I'm afraid what if this now has become my biggest desire and how do I let go of this? 😭 and I also know that all the 'i' in my ask rn are me Misidentifying but I ig I just need this one answer and I fr am going to log off tumblr after this lol no more questions no more looking for external validation. I hope you understand what I mean:)

also thank you so much for helping so many of us, it means a lot 🤍

Alright. I'll keep it short.

So, you know you're misidentifying. That's a Misidentification in itself. As @infiniteko Chi said, all identification is Misidentification.

You know you're trying, but you feel like you need one last answer. You quoted Lester, and a whole bunch on other things which at the end of the day are just a whole bunch on nothing.

What we mean by going within is not sit in silence, but going beneath the surface. The surface is you identifying as this person and human body. Go beyond that, go within and take away every label from everything and see what you're left with. An ever Stretching silence would greet you, rest there.

"What to do, should I meditate, is it forcing, should I discipline" I don't know sweetie. Seriously.

Whatever you do, you can not stop being. Everything you do is a choice.

It's not complicated at all.

You're always " ". Regardless of what you do. By sending in this ask and by dwelling in these numerous what to do's you are getting indulged with the illusion more and more. If freedom is what you want then give everything up? See everything for what it is, an illusion. Even calling it an illusion is calling it something. It's all NOTHING.

To quote @cassandra-xx , as you go within and look deeper and deeper you'll find more of this nothingness. Endless.

Even these thoughts of fear and anxiety and being the doer are nothing but you getting more immersed in the empty appearance of the seeming person. Why involve with it when you can take a back seat and just observe it all, be aware of being aware?

It's not that serious, neither is it that complicated. So, let it all go. Rest and relax through whatever comes up. It's not YOU. Dwell in that awareness.

Okay, this is not short at all. But you get the point, right?

[steeltwigz]

cross-posting my ii finale review from twt to here too. guys rambling on twt SUCKS >:( had to break i tup into TEN POSTS ARE YUO FOR RRAL

anyway.

WAITT im in a ranting mood ok. im actually rlly Happy NOT HAPPY uhmmm satisfied but NOT SATISFIED EITHER ughh. im. glad the choice was for mephone 4 to leave. i like that its left open, for the same reason i like why marshmallow leaving in ep 11 was written so definitively. she wanted to get away from the show. and so she Did, completely. she wasnt even in the Comics after that!! she got what she wanted, kind of, sort of. and i feel the same way abt mephone too. he NEEDED to step back from it all, for himself and the people around him, imo. i mean, like he says, he only Made the show to get one up on cobs, and now cobs is gone and mephone needs to figure out who he is Without cobs' influence anymore. i think this is ultimately good for him, the best that couldve happened. and im not upset the contestants aren't sad enough, or whatever. becuz mephones story is Explicitly one abt parental abuse, and like it or not he kind of did the same thing to the contestants that cobs did to him, just in ykno. kind of different ways. they have complicated feelings towards each other and im not surprised most of them didnt react. i doubt most of them knew What to do at all given the situation! i think it was a rlly good choice, narratively speaking. i think it represents the kind of mixed emotions that parental abuse can cause, esp when its in mephones case where it was rlly just a super unfortunate circumstance. ik mephone isnt rlly their parental figure and the crew has stated that he isnt their dad, which i agree with! i like how complex their relationships all are. they feel more real that way? i guess? idk.

sorry this is all becuz i saw a post that read how someone was sad mephone left his support system. but like. the contestants dont rlly Want to be that for him, and not even rlly for each other all the way either, and they dont Have to be. a lot of the cast arent friends and i like that perspective! yeah it sucks that mephone left them, but they all have rlly mixed emotions abt each other, i feel. mephone was in a position of authority that he would occasionally abuse, just out of inexperience and naivete. so the feeling left over is complicated. MUCH LIKE [insert anecdote from my childhood. waves hands nonchalantly to avoid revealing too much abt my personal life].

it resonated with me. i can see a lot of my own relationships reflected in mephone's with the contestants. so YEAH i think the ending was rlly good ^_^ it reminded me a lot of the sturggles i have both as someone with. Not Ideal but also Not Terrible parents. like cobs was inarguably awful, and i think partly mephone thought he couldnt be as bad becuz he wasnt Like That, but it made him underestimate his actions and he ended up overlooking a lot of stuff and hurting his contestants in more emotional ways. Not That I Would Know Anything About That Ha Ha. and now he feels bad. but he doesnt know how to fix it, because you Cant fix it, not without significant personal growth that he seems to recognize Isnt going to happen if he sticks around. so he leaves. for himself, but i think for the contestants also. he doesnt know how to apologize, and i think he feels really guilty too. and the contestants cant say anything becuz Its True and Hes Right, and hoenstly a few of them are probably Happy to see him go too, so they let him leave. idk. its just weird living in that middle space where someone who deeply loves you is also someone whos caused a Lot of your problems. I think part of mephones problem too is that he views them as characters on his show. not like entirely, they're People to him of course, not like how cobs treats his creations. but they also serve a purpose to mephone, to be his friends and entertain him. i do think he genuinely cares about them but i think he also probably has kind of an objectification of them in his mind? uhm. Not That I Would Kno- [gets shot]

tl;dr like. mephone didnt mean to hurt the contestants, but he did because of tragic events beyond his control. but that cant excuse his actions and its a hard situation to fix. tbh there isnt rlly a solution. so him leaving felt profound and understandable. there COULD be a reconciliation, another spin-off series to elaborate and write in a redemption arc. but for now there Isnt. and i dont think there rlly Has to be? i like the bittersweetness. idk. anyway rant over Probably Maybe Idk

[doodle17]

idk if u ever mentioned this before but which campers did the intern program in your canon? ik a couple of them did but itd be neat to see a list

Im sure it's bound to change AGAIN eventually, as does everything in my AUs because I'm indecisive as hell, but here's what I've come up with

(Also some characters will get the same mentor because some of them joined at different times. ALSO also, this isn't in order of who joined first, this is mostly just me listing whoever comes to mind first)

Franke and Kitty get in, and their mentors are TBA

Bobby gets in somehow after his guardians dump him there. They're going to try and get him away for as long as they can, so you can imagine how relieved they were when they just picked him up from camp and heard there was another government funded facility they could ditch him at. I think it'd be really funny if his mentor was Hollis but I haven't decided yet. I think Compton woukd also be a funny choice

Crystal gets in and so does Clem. Crystal gets Milla as her mentor and Clem gets Coach. They kind of drift apart at this point, but it's kind of a good thing??? Because they tend to feed into eachothers bad thoughts so it's kind of a good thing that they get some distance until they develop better habits

Elka and Dogen get in which is kind of obvious since they are from very prestigious families in the psychic community like the Zanottos. Dogen gets Otto and Elka gets Truman or Hollis

I know whether or not he's really canon, I'm including D'art cause he's canon to my AUs. D'art joins too and he gets paired with Sasha

And I know they aren't campers, but some honarable mentions are Frazie and Queepie! Queepie mostly does it because he needs to be taught proper psycho-safety and not really because he wants to be an agent or anything. He get Milla as his mentor. Frazie joins with similar reasons as Queepie, but she's actually considering some of the spy stuff. Especially since her brother and all the junior agents around her age seem to have tons of fun doing it.

Elton gets in sometime later down the road, and it's after he and Milka's relationship is complicated to the point where they're not even together anymore. Which kind of makes sense since it was probably just a quick summer fling that happened as two little kids who fell in love and it didn't even last long after camp was over. They probably didn't even see eachother for a while after that. With that being said, he's happy to join because Lili is going to be there. He gets paired up with Cassie as his mentor

Chloe gets in and gets Otto as her mentor

Benny joins and get Helmut as his mentor, which makes him almost DIE because he's a theatre nerd and having THE Helmut Fullbear as his mentor is too much for this little fanboy to handle

Phoebe and Quinten join but im still deciding their mentors

As for Mikhail, Maloof, Milka and Nils, I'm still thinking about them being in the program at all. Sorry if this was long and rambly, I hope this answered your question!

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas! i love your blog sm, not only your blog but you as a person so much.

i hope i am not bothering you by asking this but i seriously don't know who else to ask.

so there's this girl at my school, my classmate. like we are not besties to say but she is a really good friend, sometimes when my bestfriend and her bestfriend don't show up to class we sit together and sometimes all four of us sit together. we have short convos like talking about our interests, animes, her drawing passion and all. so to say we are might not be super close but we are good friends.

today she told me that she likes me and came out to me - i am really happy for her mustering the courage to let it out, she told me how no one other than her older sister knows, not even her best friend.

on the instant she told me this, she panicked, to say. she was like "i am so sorry if it spooked you" "i just had to say it" "you can defo reject me..i didn't want to burden you" "my god why am i saying this...pls i hope our friendship doesn't change" she didn't let me say a word, she was getting so anxious. and without listening to me she left.

and now i don't know what to do, i feel really horrible ik how hard it must have been for her in first place, to come out to me, the only other person. she let her be vulnerable and confided in me.

but i am straight. no no i am not homophobic at all (i am literally in this fandom, forget about fandom i am proudly a lgbt)

but i never felt any attraction to females.

uh..man i don't want to make her sad. i can't and i don't want this to be complicated bw us. i don't want her to be heartbroken. i don't want her to regret coming out to me.

what should i do?

should i date her? (i have never been grossed out with w/w relationship but before this i never saw myself in one) i don't want her to be heartbroken..how can i ever tell her i'm straight.

i don't know... can a straight person like me date her? i really want a advice. if you say i should, i promise i won't be breaking her heart..i have always for me seen me in a single relation with someone and giving them all the love but i never saw a fem as my s/o cause im staright.

will i catch feelings overtime? will i be able to love her?

pls..guide me what should i do.

[ i hope what i meant to say was understandable. english isn't my first lang so forgive me for any mistakes ]

Hi love! <3

So it seems like you're pretty adamant that you're not attracted to girls. If you're sure about that, then:

Please, please, do not date this girl if you don't like her. That's not fair to her OR you! You can't just....find feelings that don't exist. And it's not fair to bring her hopes up.

(Now, that isn't to say that maybe you never considered dating women, and not you're considering it, and it sounds cool. But if it does NOT sound cool. If you are straight? Don't do it.)

You need to be honest with her. Sit her down and give her the respect she deserves. Tell her, "I really value our friendship, and I am so honored that you trusted me enough to come out to me. I want you to know that I don't just you at ALL for being LGBTQIA+. But I'm not, and I don't want to pretend to be, because it would just be hurtful, in the end. I think you're really cool, but I'm just not attracted to girls."

Trust me, being truthful will be much better in the long run. Sure, she'll be disappointed. But your sexuality isn't personal, and if you are kind and honest and accepting with her? That's still a much better coming-out story than a lot of people. Trust me.

And after? Try not to make it awkward. Don't treat her differently. But don't force something that isn't there. It'll just end up in someone getting hurt.

Hope that helps!

<3

[bananafire11]

vent

please dont read if youre not in the right space rn. heavy on anger and feels. just wanna type it out somewhere and this blog is my safe space so

i am so fucking angry right now. like the kind of anger thats pent up and bubbles beneath the skin and is ready to implode out at any fucking second and i hate it so much. i dont feel like i have very good reasons for feeling this way either. or maybe im downplaying those reasons, i dunno

i dont want to bother any of my friends with this shit. i feel guilty because ik they have their OWN struggles. ik feeling this way is silly because i help them through so much, and am so glad to do so. but theres always this doubt.

anyway. on discord, i put my status on DNIUC sometimes because i just need space and ik that most of my close friends will see this and know to be careful that day. or if they text and im slow to respond, ik they understand. but theres these friends who KEEP spamming. and its driving me FUCKING MAD. one, who is very close and gosh i love them so much, sends me so much every day. youd think after the first few times i didnt respond, he'd get the fucking jist and think "ill stop there" but instead he KEEPS ON. ITS OVERWHELMING. and the subject of these texts isnt bad or anything, but its always about him and his bf. i dont have the energy to talk about them 24/7. im beyond happy for him, that hes happy. but FUCK. im asexual and never have been in a relationship, and sometimes it feels like a fuckyou to me?? ik he doesnt mean it that way at all!! but!!! idk, sometimes its like theres a longing for a bf of my own. but i dont want to settle. ill wait for the right boy. right now, hes not here. and im not actively looking for a relationship, i have so much shit going on. so, i usually ignore this guys dms as long as i can. i feel guilty, but at the same time fucking furious that i even have to do it in the first place, if that makes sense. i love him dearly, but it's forced me to just put my status on 'invisible' so it looks like im offline. better to avoid people, ig.

theres another guy, who isnt as close, but ive made great friends with thus far in the time ive met him over a game i enjoy. but again, doesnt know when to stop. why are you texting me when it says dniuc!!! YOU ARENT CLOSE. ive explained 'close' is friends ive known for a year or so, which isnt exactly true actually... but i needed to tell him something that wouldnt hurt his feelings. after i clarified for the second time, he let up. but still. people are fucking annoying and its so FRUSTRATING that i love them because that makes shit so complicated.

then, family. ive been snowed in with my mom and sister for over a fucking week and I NEED OUT. i never thought id say this but I WANT TO BE AT SCHOOL. AWAY FROM HOME. my neighbors, who are more so aunt and uncle to me and my sister, let me go over and stay hours with them when i need it. but i dont feel like trecking thru the fking snow to get there. last night i stayed over and watched a favorite movie of mine with them and it was great, but having the energy to do that feels exhausting tonight.

im trying to distract myself with art, but its not working like it normally does. and its goddamn hard. tried videogames, youtube, but nothing is bringing me true relief. but i dont want to sleep either. ugh.

vent art, anger.

[daenystheedreamer]

tbh I don't want Dany to rule westeros but I feel like it's for reasons people dont talk about as much? Like Dany wants to break the wheel and I dont think she can do that by returning to her familial seat. like idk what targs were like pre doom but post doom and post conquest it was truly nothing but death doom destruction pain plague suffering etc and whether thats like a curse or magic or madness or just that the nature of the throne is that it causes everyone to eat themselves and their family alive over and over for power (probably it's that one but maybe there's a little doom curse as a treat). so idk it just feels like it would be cursing her to be stuck in the wheel :( also I have complicated feelings of her ruling bc sometimes im like girl oh boy but mostly im just like she's just a little girl. she's a little girl :(

ik that anyone on the throne is sort of sentencing them to The Narrative but idk I just feel like there are less sad characters to ME PERSONALLY to do that to. like Jon because I think that's so fucking funny he would hate it but he's already like ruining himself for no reason so yk. Grrm I love you but I hate you for the things you do to little girls (IN FICTION) I really do!!!!!

same i dont want dany ruling westeros i want her building her own house with the red door. i want her happy and content. the thing is she as a character could never retire when she knows that people are suffering. so i guess my dany endgame is her inventing globo homo luxury gay space communism in all planetos. Which is a tall order 😭 maybe im cray cray but idk maybe tyrion should get it. lann the clever 2.0 sneaking his way to the top. idk! i dont speculate too much on endgames cos... its like a devoted monk daring to question the rapture. It's in god's hands! i am but a humble servant who could never fathom the mysteries (ados)

[savpumpkinhead]

oh my gosh okay. so I saw barbenhiemer a few days ago and i habe just been sitting in my thoughts and I have so many things to say. THIS HAS SPOILERS FOR BOTH!!!

i saw Oppenheimer first so:

the cinematography was gorgeous. this movie was absolutely stunning. not only were the colors and shots beautiful, but I adored the black-and-white shots used for Strauss' perspective (which reminded me of asteroids city's use of b&w for perspective/setting changes!!!).

Florence pugh. oh my goodness. she was BEAUTIFUL I kept turning to my friend and saying oh my god she's gorgeous. I loved her acting, she embodied her character spectacularly. (also she so me for flirting with Cillian a bit during an interview)

CILLIAN MURPHY !!!! i adore him and I went into this very excited because I adore the dark knight and he was spectacular in that. anyways I loved his acting and how he delivered his lines, he added so much to the story. for such a long movie I loved his whole performance, and im super excited to watch it again (can u tell I love cillian murphy)

I understand it was a biopic so they were focusing more on the man himself and not the situation, but my friend who i went with actually googled the movie while we went to dinner- and found that the bomb test they showed had actually hit both Mexican and Indigenous people that were living in/near Los Alamos (mostly with radiation and fallout), which if we can find in one google search, is kinda weird we didn't see it in the movie at all. anyways I went to piss in the middle of the movie (Ik i should have peed before but WHATEVER anyways) when i got back they had already bombed both cities?? i was so surprised i had missed it, they didn't cover it much after that until around the end when the moral quandary is brought up more. anyways im seeing it again so ill definitely pay attention to these details!!

COSTUMING!!!! the costumes were beautiful, I adore the fashion of this era so it makes lots of sense but it was spectacular. my friend and I who both do makeup for theatre were caught off guard by the aging at the end as well, spectacular!!!

some of the dialogue was hard to follow and some moments definitely got a little complicated for me, but I definitely enjoyed the movie overall. Im going to go see it again soon at a theatre near me which is showing it with actual film!!! im very excited

I have a friend in film whod probably look at me like I was crazy for these reviews but that's okay cause I <3 him and I might get to see it with him soon :3

BARBIE:

god i adored this movie. ive seen twice and I've cried very much in that goddamn theatre. its a wonderful message about womanhood and girlhood and also just being human.

did you know all of kens clothes fit him.....

the movie itself was wonderful, the cinematography was nice and I saw some really beautifully framed shots!! the color scheme was spectacular aswell, I adore greta girwig for sure. not to mention the costuming, makeup, set design, the whole movie's tech was just spectacular I have no complaints for real.

this movie is very "first I laughed, then I serioused", the beginning was lots of giggles for me, I love the characters and all the references, it felt very nostalgic to see all the things I loved as a kid come up on the screen.

the feminist takes were very refreshing to see! I've seen many people comment on them being very broad and vague, and I agree some things like fatphobia and racism could have gone a bit deeper, but for what it was I was so happy. i felt my girlhood was really seen and I felt like I had a weight of my chest a lot of the time. thought its hard to separate many social movements from each other, this was a pretty good job

speaking of fatphobia I do wish that there was more fat representation, there was one main plus size Barbie and maybe one or two chubbier ones, but it would have been cool to see more of a body type range. its hard to ask for more because there already is SO MUCH diversity but I noticed a lot that the bigger ken was paired with the bigger barbie and that kinda thing, so I just wanted to mention that. i really do appreciate it though, and I love what Gerwig has given us.

did you know that all of kens clothes fit him.

allen is definitely non binary coded, I lack the words to properly explain this but I've seen many people bring it up!! there's also some more trans allegory I connected too throughout the movie, and I really enjoyed the healthy masculinity that came from some of the movie :3

everyone's gay and ND!!!!!!!!! margot robbies barbie is definitely aroace lesbian and maybe autistic and allen is nonbinary and queer and ken is probably transgender and adhd and he's just like me fr so on so fourth they are all queer. thank you :)

[thestobingirlie]

hi! my feelings about r//nance is im just not into it, mostly bc i just Dont See it, like i just Don't, but also bc of reasons like ppl making the whole thing so Uncomplicated when it absolutely Would be Complicated as Fuck! and acting like it has any basis in canon, like i do like s//eddie, and ik some ppl do it for s//eddie too, but i personally don't think there's really any real basis for it in canon, i just think they'd be interesting (but that's another topic).

But also lowkey i think one of the main reasons i don't see it w/ r//nance, is that in s3 when nancy & robin interact for the first time, robin has The Biggest masking face ever, idk she just looks like she's autistic masking to hell & back, she looks like how i feel when im trying to be "a real person" all polite and friendly to someone i don't know, trying and hoping i remember all the things to say. idk it just Does Not vibe. lol

also when robin & nancy meet for the first time robin literally says "hi, I'm robin, i work with steve" isn't that at least a little bit of a sign that the first thing that connects them Is Steve, so like, idk, he might be relevant to them as characters??? like, a little, maybe???

hey!!

i will never understand taking a complex ship and diluting it down, because i love complicated relationships. like, within stranger things, steve, tommy and carol are one of the dynamics i find most interesting! because it’s complex. if you reduced any of those characters down to nothing, they aren’t even those characters anymore. they’re just wearing their faces. and obviously i don’t like r//nance, but if i did, i wouldn’t try to make it something it isn’t just so everyone involved can be perfectly happy.

and i think it’s so weird when they like, fight to the death to try and prove it has a basis in canon. like you said, i like steddie. i don’t think it would ever happen in a million years. one of my guilty pleasure ships in stranger things is steve and kali, which has no chance of happening, but a ship doesn’t have to be close to canon in order for me to enjoy, you know? and i can admit that, though i guess others can’t.

there does seem to be a growing trend where people treat fanon ships as though it’s morally wrong to ship them because they aren’t canon. so i guess maybe r//nancers are over correcting, and sprinting in the opposite direction to try and say that they can ship it, and fighting anyone that doesn’t ship it because they feel like they have to defend it, but it’s just like… people will always have different opinions. about everything, just live and let live. block people whose opinions you hate, block out tags to avoid posts etc.

and yeah, i totally get you, even in s4, robin just looks like she’s trying so hard to appease nancy and nothing is working. it just looks like the most awkward situation in existence.

that is honestly such a good point!! especially considering robin and nancy are in the same year at school, but until robin has a connection to steve, she wasn’t relevant to nancy at all. like, steve really is the glue between those two characters, and any attempt to remove him just doesn’t work

[star-luvrx]

ok so i just need to shout into the void!! i need to write this out!!

so im like 85% sure im aromantic and like 95% sure im on the aromantic spectrum somewhere and personally i dont need labels i like to have wors to discribe myself if im asked but otherwise i dont care! im just here, a complicated sack of chemicals to put it way too simply.

now, the arospec experience is a complicated one now some people use the SAM (split attraction model) (some more information on that here, here, here, here and info on QPR's here, here, here)

now using that model i can understand myself in more depth and so do others, now here is where the void shoution comes in. I love the idea of a QPR i really do the ony issure i can see arising is that the other person is not arospec and the romantic feelings re not recipricated. now people can be happy with this (not that i know any my town is small) and thats lovely but like alot of sad love songs the romantic love feeling s not recipricated and there are still underlaying feelings there its not romantic. I get that. i dont get the whole i want to be your partner/so/whatever i do get the i want to be around you and talk to you, now keep in mind some see that as romantic but it feels the same as it does with my friends. i want to be around my friend, talk to them, etc! and it feels the same. i find people attractive and ont get those feelings wich i think is pretty 'normal' anyway but if there is a person where i do really ike this person, where i like them not romantially it feels the same as my friends BUT i totaly made out with them for an extended period of time 40 minutes held hands etc, hand holding is normal with friends but anyway!! yeah and we talked after an everything but im haveing this pit of gulit of like oh dear does she like me like that? i know she did before but im not sure now. but i dont. yeah i like her and i did enjoy our kiss would i do it again? probably? (we were not sober when this originally happend) but if given the chance would i kiss oter people? maybe? again i dont think i have those romantic feelings and i DO NOT want to fall into a one way relationship with someone, break thier heart and have it also be long distance. no thanks.

now see this is why i like the SAM, the romance portion is like LOW (if its there its like demiromantic idk tho) but the sexual/ attraction portion is still all there. Across all genders! diffrent levels probably but still!!!

anyway thanks if you read, but the void is nice.