#wild bill pecos

[comicsart3]

Calamity Kate is a short-lived and almost forgotten Wild West heroine. In common with Western gals such as the latter-day Annie Oakley and Rhoda Trail, Kate is a ranch owner, but unlike her Golden Age contemporaries, Kate is actually an alias, her real identity being Patricia Layne, the feisty daughter of the local sheriff. In fact it is the death of her father that turns Patricia into an ambiguous hero. In an effort to expose the murderers of her father, deputy sheriff Brady and banker Olsen, she assumes the role of pants-wearing, gun-packing and masked vigilante Calamity Kate who initially pretends to be a bank and stage robber in order to bring the bad guys out into the open and sow discord between them. She lets all-round good guy Wild Bill Pecos, who also happens to be the lead character in The Westerner comic, in which Kate’s adventures appear, in on her secret. Together they bring Brady and Olsen to justice and Patricia, having got a taste for vigilantism, decides to retain her alter ego, but promises that Kate will only fight on the side of justice. This she does, often working alongside Bill, and sometimes solo. Kate is a jaunty and unflappable character and her sharpshooting, riding and roping skills are usually enough for her to overcome the villains she encounters and to deposit them with the sheriff.

In the story featured, called Calamity Kate Meets the Gaucho Kid!, which appeared in The Westerner #28, Kate comes up against a smooth-talking south-of-the-border braggart who steals a diamond-encrusted garter from Patricia. Naturally, this case now being personal, Kate tracks the Gaucho Kid down and, after some mishaps, brings him in. There is a hint of mutual attraction between Kate and the Kid in a sequel story, which nonetheless ends up with the romantic bad guy’s capture by his would-be girlfriend. Sadly Kate’s storyline was terminated before this intriguing premise could be explored further.

Kate made her first appearance in The Westerner #26, which covered her origin story. Unfortunately, her run only lasted seven issues, although she did make a “guest appearance” in a subsequent Wild Bill story. Perhaps the no-nonsense Patricia/Kate was considered a little too ahead of her time.

Sources: Public Domain Super Heroes for the background; comicbookplus for the comic page.

[lazodiac]

Welcome welcome, one and all, back to my ridiculously futile effort to figure out where every card in Outlaws of Thunder Junction came from. Now, by this point in time the 30 new Alchemy cards have been released, and like with the Vault cards we'll be hitting those after the regular set and Commander cards.

So without further ado... we've dealt with red, and the others, so now it is onto...

GREEN

We open on a pretty important one! Say hello to the cactus-folk of Thunder Junction, the actual honest-to-god genuine native people of the plane, here before even the Atiin for as much as that matters.

The scant few bits of lore we've received on these guys tells us that they started waking up to sentient and sapience when the Atiin showed up, but given real world cacti's entire deal is that they're long-lasting, endurant vegetation that can grow for a long time, the question really is how truthful that is. Especially given they've adopted the idea of clothing and gear pretty well from the Atiin and others.

I'll probably open the can of worms that is Thunder Junction's questionable-at-best decisions when it comes to the world building another day, but for now... lets just make like a thumbleweed and roll on. Cacti are from Thunder Junction. Also I do love this play of like, a very nice and gentle warlock who heals you with vapor rube.

This is good advice! Boots are shady places, typically made of leather that is treated to not take in the heat that much, and are as such nice and shady places for creatures like this to live in.

Native to the plane, like most animals.

While there are arguments that there are other planes this person could be from, the nature of the bond with beasts- plus the fact that this guy clearly dresses like his beast, whereas most Outcasters are more of a wild-man of the wilderness vibe- feels like it is very much meant to elude to the bonders of Ikoria.

Fun story stuff: the betrayal did not actually work out this way, with Vraska and Oko staying allied basically right until the last moment where Vraska immediately went for the kill shot with her petrification stare. It does definitely resemble how Kellan and Oko split ways though. Also, hilariously, while it was obvious the gang would backstab each other... in the end it was actually very surprising HOW it happened. Not very likely at all!

Anyway, naming where this is from is a hard one. Given the mixture of who betrayed who and the sheer webbed nature of it all, I'm kinda forced to give it to Thunder Junction itself.

As befits the native plant-life of Thunder Junction, there is animal-plants as well! Look at this delightful critter!

I'll admit, to my detriment I actually care more about the real history of the Old West than the mythology of the frontier folk, so I don't really know if Bristly Bill here is meant to be an allusion to Pecos Bill or Johnny Appleseed. The former seems more likely based on name, but the actions of cultivating the land (but in a non toxic way like ole John) seems to lean more in that direction.

Anyway, he's a cactus, so native to the plane.

Perhaps one of the most horrifying cards ever put to print. I love it. Native to Thunder Junction.

One of my favorite parts of magic sets is seeing how various worlds take classic Magic creatures and incorporating their unique elements into it. A rattlesnake this big, this destructive, is incredible.

Just remember however: rattlers have a rattle to warn away predators.

Characterizing tumbleweeds as actual living creatures, like a strange dead-alive elemental, is beautiful and I love it. Native to Thunder Junction.

A big ol' bear that is going half-cactus because of some Thunder induced mutations! Native to Thunder Junction, again!

This one actually requires some thought! Yay! I feel based on his build that this centaur is from Theros and not say, Ravnica- the city of guilds has more modern war-horses, whereas this feels more like a wild horse design.

The Freestriders are the faction that get the least amount of lore presented about them. They aren't people who live out in the wilderness, but are people who go exploring and adventuring all the same.

After some deliberations, looking at art, and trying to source the design of that tattoo we see, I think I've gotta say this fine fellow is from the Atiin home plane.

This unmitigated disaster is from Kaladesh!

STEP ON THE GAS. STEP ON THE GAS. NO! HIT THE BREAKS!

Some people got mildly upset at this card, but I'm here to tell all you fine folk that despite what your instincts tell you, beaver DO exist in the great prairies of the old west. They're not as common because there's less water about for them to do their do, but these critters exist there too!

So this gold is gold found natively on Thunder Junction, so it goes on the list for that one, but you may be asking yourself: Zodi, where does this weirdo come from? He's not an Azra cause he doesn't have purple skin, he's not a Satyr since his horns are tiny baby idiot horns for babies, and he looks like a regular dude despite having pointed ears like an elf so surely he's not elven right?

Well, you'd be forgiven for not remembering it since it only shows up on like three or four cards, but this is actually just what elves look like on New Capenna. They have tiny little idiot baby horns and look more like humans than other elves do, it's just how things go.

Once upon a time, Order of the Stick made a joke about overburdening a hydra's regeneration so that you could turn it into a successful food stall. This feels like a less comedic version of that.

Native to Thunder Junction, which is fascinating. This is likely a thunder mutation since I don't imagine hydras are just naturally made of gold here.

Another wonderful cactus-folk, ready to defend his folk from any interlopers, one sawblade at a time.

Fun fact: if you want to play as a cactus-folk in DND, use the Thri-Kreen from Darksun.

This giant chimkin is clearly native to the plane... but isn't the actual subject of the art. Instead it's this weird paladin-ass looking guy with a big sword. Based on the flavor text I'm going to say he's Benalian, so from Dominaria.

Cards like this are a nice reminder that Magic definitely did try to approach this plane with good faith and an understanding of native perspectives, they just kinda fumbled it. More on that later.

... where does this guy come from? Well he's ridiculous strong and a nomad so I'm gonna say he's from Tarkir.

Combining the tumbleweed concept with Brushwaggs is a really fun idea, though I do wonder how these little armadillo faced idiots fair against the REAL tumbleweed elementals.

Native to the plane, obviously.

I'm honestly baffled this guy isn't an elf, considering everything. The most mention of the idea of "greenX" being a thing is from Zendikar, so this cactus-covered cultivator is from that plane. His big machete honestly fits it, too.

I've noticed a subtle mechanical theme in green about caring about Ferocious, and honestly I kinda like it. The last one of those was from Ikoria, and had similar vibes and a clear bond with a beast, so I think I'll say the same here.

This card is, by the flavor text, directly an Atiin person, and thus is from their home plane.

Also given the way Thunder Junction works, its time frame, and all that... how many worlds HAVE the Atiin visited before Thunder Junction? We know they're nomadic, and we know that they got to Thunder Junction basically immediately after the paths opened, so... presumably all the worlds they've visited past TJ are where the majority of the wandering folk still are. Hell, for all we know this card takes place on another plane, given she doesn't even have a HAT.

As much as I'd love to say this guy is one of the Alaran Rhox, I think it's far more likely he's from New Capenna.

The horseshoe chain-multiflail is one of my favorite weapons in the set.

Blep.

Native to Thunder Junction.

Play it again, Sam! Cactus means Thunder Junction!

I knew a piano player once. Having multiple limbs would make you such a good pianist.

Flavor fail no one has a gun in this art <sarcasm>

I do kinda wish we got to see more of the Cactus Folk Rage Forms though, that would have been cool.

Varmints are specifically called out as being a unique sort of pest from Thunder Junction, and that's what they are!

Still think they're convergent evolution of gremlins though.

Those Akroan bastards have ONE TRICK but damn if it doesn't work when they make use of it. This is of course from Theros. It is also probably my favorite card in the set.

Rattlewurms are native to the plane, so this magical curtain of molted snake-skin is too.

And that's it for post one. Tune in to like a couple minutes from now for part two!

[disneyanduniversalnews]

Magic Kingdom at Disney World- What You Need to Know

Magic Kingdom Park is what guests think of when they picture Disney World. It has Cinderella Castle, Space Mountain, 7 Dwarfs Mine Train, and lots more in six themed lands. "The Most Magical Place on Earth" opened on October 1, 1971.

LAY OF THE LAND

Magic Kingdom is laid out like a wheel, with the hub centered directly in front of the towering Cinderella Castle. Cinderella Castle is the Parks' icon, and it's become an icon of the company as a whole as well. In summer 2020, Cinderella Castle debuted a new color scheme, to mixed reviewed from guests.

Main Street, U.S.A

Inspired by Walt Disney's memories of his hometown, Main Street, U.S.A., is a re-creation of early 20th century small-town America, on a 7/8 scale. There are quaint shops, a town hall, a fire station, and even an old-style barbershop. Fun fact: The design of Main Street U.S.A., uses forced perspective to make the buildings appear full size to guests walking down the street!

But Main Street isn't just a pass-through. Throughout the day, guests can watch performances of the Citizens of Main Street as they sing, dance, and entertain the crowds. The Dapper Dans is a barbershop quartet that is not to be missed!

ADVENTURELAND

An exotic mix of jungles, wild animals, pirates, and a Middle Eastern bazaar, Adventureland is home to several of Magic Kingdom's best-known loved attractions, including Pirates of the Caribbean and Jungle Cruise.

Tip: If Adventureland's attractions (and, ahem, snacks) are a must-do for you, take a left when you arrive at the hub in the morning. Most guests are going to head straight for Fantasyland or Tomorrowland to hit Seven Dwarfs Mine Train and Space Mountain, and you'll likely find calmer crowds in Adventureland to start the day!

FRONTIERLAND

Frontierland has all the adventure and excitement of the Wild West, including the wet wonders of Splash Mountain and the wild thrills of Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

Frontierland is also home to the raft on Tom Sawyer's Island, which can be an oasis in the otherwise hectic Park. And if you want to dine where the "fixin's" are (like self-serve bar loaded with salsa, cheese, and more!), you'll find beloved Quick Service spot Pecos Bill Tall Tale Inn & Cafe here, too!

LIBERTY SQUARE

Liberty Square celebrates America's colonial heritage with themed facades period details. The land reflects the history of the Executive Branch with the Hall of Presidents. It is also home to the beloved Haunted Mansion.

Liberty Square connects directly to three other areas of the park: Fantasyland, Frontierland, and the Casle hub.

FANTASYLAND

Fantasyland is the quintessential fairytale experience with castles, princesses and princes, pixies, and boys who never grow up. When guests think of Disney World, they may think primarily of classic Fantasyland attractions like "It's a small world" and Peter Pan's Flight.

There's more to this land of fantasy, though. Seven Dwarfs Mine Train is one of the Park's most popular attractions- a coaster that welcomes guests 38" and taller.

And as one might imagine, Fantasyland is also a great place to meet princesses. Princess Fairytale Hall offers meet-and-greets with four princesses- two at a time in two separate meeting spaces (with two separate lines). Ariel can be found in her Grotto in the "new" area of Fantasyland, and Belle is nearby weaving a story in Enchanted Tales with Belle.

TOMRROWLAND

Tomorrowland is Magic Kingdom's look toward the future where guests can battle the Evil Emperor Zurg on Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin or whiz through the universe on a high-speed coaster at Space Moutain.

Tomorrowland is also home the Park's next big attraction: Tron Lightcycle Run. This futuristic coaster is a big hit at Shanghai Disney, and it's coming to Florida's Kingdom.

[thetabbybadger]

Oh another idea I had is why not pull a Legends Arceus and set it on the past, really play up the Wild West themed!

Your trainer is from Unova who just arrived by the newly finished steam train line. You just got a job with a person named Professors Saguaro to document the Pokémon of this newly settled land.

The evil team is called Team Rustle and are based off cattle rustlers. They are making quite the fool’s of themselves at the moment, as the Boss Man has them hunting the other pieces of a map he found. Boss says the map will lead them to their biggest payday yet.

It leads them to the box legendary.

Ideas for the box legendaries, Pecos Bill’s Wdowmaker and Paul Bunyan's Babe. Animals companions of folk legends who tamed the wild frontier.

Seeing as it’s set in the past of a newly settled region there probably not a proper elite four yet so end game contest of a Battle Frontier centered around a Buffalo Bill themed Wild West circus.

After beating that though you get a letter inviting you back to Unova to challenge their elite four.

A Wild West Legends Arceus style game would certainly be fun! I hope they make more games in this style and don’t mind doing “new regions”. You could certainly do this one with existing pokemon and a handful of extinct regionals but imagine making new pokemon just for this! (Or regional versions of existing stuff)

[thedurvin]

This is EXACTLY what Paul Bunyan was invented to be. I can’t find my master list but in the early 20th Century people were inventing these guys left and right; Paul was for the logging industry, Pecos Bill was a cowboy, John Henry for rail workers and Casey Jones for engineers, Febold Feboldsen was a Midwest farmer, Joe Magerac was for the Rust Belt steel industry, Mose the Fireboy was for urban firemen, Mike Fink for Mississippi keelboaters and Alfred Bulltop Stormalong for steamboats, plus all those deified gunslingers and lawmen in the Wild West (and the deified Founding Fathers and their ilk like Molly Pitcher and Betsy Ross). Combine the folk heroes with the cryptids and local ghosts you’ve got a whole set there ready for a toyetic Americana tourism industry.

The US Needs Local Heroes and Monsters like Japan has.

Fight me.

KitaQ Man, the local hero of Kitakyushu, a prefecture in Fukuoka

It's such a cool idea. You make a hero themed after your town's local industry, culture, or whatever, the local tourism board uses them to hype up the town, and the kids get a regional hero experience. The merch sales go toward local schools or infrastructure.

We already have this, sort-of, with the Mothman and Gritty, but it can go way further. Semi-related, I want to see these two fight.

And with digital media, you don't even need local TV to get your hero's exploits out there.

And this would be huge for nationwide tourism. Collecting spoons from all the states you've driven through is sweet, but imagine how fun it would be to pick up a local action figure?

It's all the local pride and merch sales of a sports mascot, but with none of the possibility that your team sucks, and even a small town can get a morph suit and some cosplay gear together for a local theater kid to tell kids about traffic safety.

Logistically, this would likely require a consulting or management company that could put together a character "package" for interested towns and industries, but as long as we keep Vince McMahon far away from it, it could be sweet.

C'mon local chamber of commerce, do something awesome for once.

[elijones94]

🌵🪶 Pecos Bill & Slue-Foot Sue 🦬

[tylermileslockett]

"The Mother Goddess and The She-Bear" (#1 in my Atalanta series) Illustration be me.

In the kingdom of Arkadia, the King Lasion, preferring a boy, orders his newborn daughter to be taken into the forest and left to die from exposure. The attendant takes the baby into the hills of Mount Parthenium, leaving the child near a cave spring, sending up a prayer for the child. The wild hunter goddess, Artemis, ever the protector of children, sends her sacred she-bear, who, having recently lost her own cub, comes upon the child, offering the nourishment of her milk.

Although the Atalanta myth has its roots in Arkadia (south west Greece) and Boetia, with the themes of motherhood and protection, I have also included the more exotic statue of the Mother goddess of the “Artemis of Ephesus” (west coast of Turkey.) I have had the pleasure to see this statue in person, and it is truly breathtaking. The statue, representing a goddess who protects fertility, has spherical objects placed around her lower torso, once thought to be breasts, but now believed to be bull’s testicles or gourds, which were symbolic for fertility in ancient times in Asia.

Unwanted children being taken into nature to die from exposure is a reoccurring theme in Greek myths. The Trojan Prince Paris was abandoned to die in the wilderness, and was also suckled by a she-bear. Oedipus mother Jocasta, agreed to have the child pinned down with a stake through the ankles, and left to die upon the mountainside, but the attendant couldn’t go through with it, giving the child to a poor shepherd. Even Heracles mother, Alcmene left the child in a field, fearing Hera’s wrath.

Another theme worth noting is the “feral child” theme, where a helpless child is raised by protective animals. In the ancient Babylonian epic of Gilgamesh, Enkidu is said to have been raised by beasts. And in more modern tales like Kipling’s “the Jungle book��� with Mowgli being raised by wolves. Even in American folk tales; Pecos Bill was said to have been fostered by coyotes.

As always, thanks for looking and reading! If you want to see more of my artwork: https://linktr.ee/tylermileslockett

[purekesseltrash]

My Fic List

Whelp, decided I should do one of these.  I have mostly written for Hockey RPF and BNHA, as you have likely already seen!

My BNHA Fics

Bury Them Deep

- “Shouji Mezou's entire life has revolved around being a goalie and playing hockey since he was five years old. After being drafted in the third round in the NHL, Shouji has two more years of college before moving on to playing professional hockey like he's always wanted. Or at least like he always thought he wanted. An injury that ends his season throws him into a tailspin, forcing him to take a look at his life and how he is going to live it, especially after meeting his fascinating new goth history tutor.”

(This bad bitch is 81k total and is chock full of my red hot hockey takes and midwestern references.  I love it very much and it is a sweet baby.)

The Rooftop Necromancy series AKA my black metal band AU:

Downhill from Here 

- “ Hizashi just wants to tour the country with his best friends with their metal band in their shitty van like they've been planning for years. He'd successfully hidden his crush on one of them for years, after all, he would definitely be able to make this work and keep things fun and uncomplicated. Until Aizawa decided to start acting weird. “

(In which I take you all on a nostalgic trip to 2006-2008 metal culture and you can see the black metal love song that my dumb ass wrote.)

The Perfect Mistake

- “ It wasn't as though Hizashi had planned on breaking up with his boyfriend while they were on tour in a tiny cargo van with no room and no peace. He would have much rather preferred to do it when they were home and he could easily go and crawl back into his mom's basement. But he didn't have a choice. “

(As relationships tend to do, theirs goes through problems.)

Rooftop Necromancy

-"He’d even ended up leaning into the crowd when someone’s elbow had connected solidly with his nose and thrown him back. They’d gone quiet as Hizashi got himself up to his feet, ripped off his now bloody ‘Within Temptations’ tshirt from 2004, whipped his hair back from his face and screamed, “That’s what I’m FUCKING talking about.” into the mic.

They went wild for it, cheering as blood ran down his nose, past his mouth and dripped onto the stage, leaving him feeling like an otherworldly monster performing an occult ritual. Metal, he thought dazedly to himself, why in the fuck had he ever stopped doing metal."

(I hyperfocused so hard at the idea of Mic as a metal head that I wrote this in seven straight hours and WROTE THROUGH THE ATTEMPTED COUP ON DEMOCRACY WITHOUT KNOWING IT.  It’s a bit rough, but it’s got some good parts and it spawned the whole damn series.)

Hands Up

- "But of course he had, they had always been able to read each other and what they meant. That had often been their problem, if he was going to be honest."

(In which they figure their shit out.  Basically it was written when I was thinking alot about how my own mental health had evolved through the years.  It’s basically the story of two people who are both very good for each other and also very bad and how they deal with that.  It’s probably the most personally meaningful thing I’ve ever written.)

The other BNHA fics:

Waking Up With Ghosts

-"Hizashi opened his eyes to a world that belonged to ghosts. His headphones were gone and the gray, grimy world that he felt more than saw was muffled and still. This was bad, he hazily thought."

In which we follow Hizashi shortly after the events of 296. How he's found, how he finds out and how he has to tell.”

(I fished this one out of the garbage of my Google Docs because I’d written most of it and forgotten about it.  I dragged it out, prettied it up a little and threw it up on AO3.  It is by far my most well read BNHA fic, go figure.)

Leave Her Johnny

-”Captain Hizashi Yamada has combed the Seven Seas looking for the elusive smuggler Eraserhead. He has spent years searching for him, tracking his movements and trying to anticipate where he would be next. But he had never considered what would happen when he finally found him. “

(I wrote a paragraph of this and was immediately like ‘I MUST CREATE THIS’.  I take some chances writing wise in this as the whole thing is done in a Victorian Era ish style of writing.  But I think it’s effective and the ending is likely one of the best that I’ve ever managed.  I’m proud of it.)

Gold Rush

-”"That earned him a laugh and Mashirao’s smile made something in his chest ache, something that made him want to hurt. Why had he ever left?

“I’m really not,” Mashirao was saying but Shinsou just shook his head and kissed him once, twice and wished he could take the sunny afternoon and make it stay forever. Make it stay forever like Mashirao somehow had, while the neighborhood had adjusted without Hitoshi’s permission.

“You are,” he said, “And I love it.”

I love you, he should have said.  But as Mashirao’s eyes softened and the blonde pushed him back against the bed, Hitoshi knew he didn’t need to say it."

(You know how sometimes you listen to a Death Cab for Cutie song about gentrification over and over until a fic comes out?  Because that’s basically what happened here.)

Black Sun

‘"But then he remembered the way that Shouji had eaten the night after, one hand curled into his hair as he hung back in the corner. Shouji hid when something was wrong, like a wounded cat trying to find a dark place to either live or die and he was being released tomorrow. Now was the time to push or he’d find Shouji right back on his bed, staring at nothing."

Something happened to Shouji on the beach. Tokoyami is sure of it.‘

(Aaaaaand Death Cab for Cutie strikes again.  But heyo, my first published ShouToko and it is SOFTTTTT)

In the Far and Mighty West

Mic came closer and despite himself, Shouta could not find it in him to feel afraid. “You won’t understand, not really. I’ll try, though. I’m like Pecos Bill or Paul Bunyan or a jackalope or that fish that your friend caught that he swears he brought in but that you’ve never seen proof of. I’m the herd of dogies moving sweet and steady in the right direction, I’m no stragglers to worry about, I’m that perfect dog that’s there to keep them in line. I’m that group of good friends that you would kill for, I’m the woman who you’re dying to come home to, I’m that promised home of milk and honey. I’m Mic.”

Shouta stared at him dazedly and licked his lips, feeling drunk and stupid as he stared at the man. “You’re… magic?”

“I suppose you could call me that.”

(Cowboy!Erasermic.  Inspired heavily by American Gods and my own love of folk heroes.)

In Your Violence

- “'Mezou frowned, eyes narrowing. “Are you trying to say that you’re scared that I’ll be killed by having faith in you?”

“It would be in your best interest to stay away from me,” Fumikage finally said, his voice falling flat and quiet. “I am destined to be a monster.”

'Mezou gets the call he fears, the one that says that Fumikage has lost control again. But this time it's different, in more ways than one.”

(I listened to Silence by Marshmello until I went insane in this is the result.  Featuring some of my super depressing headcanons about Shouji!  But it’s not awful.)

My hockey fics that I still like:

Hufflepuff Halfwit  

- ““Zhenya, the wind is coming from the west, I will not remind you again. You shut that window before the house stinks of factories!” She snapped and Geno stared at the owl as though maybe it would know what to do. But instead, it had given a little hoot and wiggled inside, only to drop it’s letter on the counter.

He turned his head very slowly back to look at his mother, who had suddenly gone very quiet. “It… just showed up, Mama. And um. It brought a letter.” He waited again, looked back at the owl who had begun to nose at the pirozhkis in interest and then looked back at his mother with the best puppy dog eyes he had ever attempted. “Can I keep it?”

(This is a part of my hockey/Harry Potter au that still legitimately haunts my dreams.  It’s basically a Sid/Geno in Hogwarts but I really love the world building I got to do with Koldovstoretz, the Russian school of wizardry.  Don’t read ‘On the Word of a Slytherin’ though, I’m not as proud of that one.)

The Prince  

- “What the fuck.” Matt breathed out, sitting back heavily onto his hotel bed as he stared at his phone.

‘This is Henrik.’ The text read. ‘I would like to meet you. I will book a room in Pittsburgh at your convenience. Let me know what time will work for you.’  - 

(Listen, it’s Henrik Lundqvist/Matt Murray smut, I feel like that is novel and interesting and worth your attention.  I wax poetic on goalies in this, as you do.)

The Zoo of Toronto 

- “No one missed it when a massive porcupine had shuffled in between the reporters with a single minded focus, pushing media away until it was able to grip onto Phil’s suit pants and try to pull itself up. He hadn’t been able to do more then besides pick the animal up before it could shred his pants to shreds and walk out of the locker room before the decision had been made with the Toronto media.

Phil Kessel was guilty.” 

(Not gonna lie, this is probably my favorite of the hockey fics I’ve written.  And it’s Phil/Carl, which is never found anymore but it was a good pairing.)

[storiesofsvu]

I'm about to invade your ask box. Hope that's cool.

Your photography of the grey stuff cupcake made me think of this question. I've only been to Disney World/Land once and didn't try any of the cool food. What Disney food and drinks do you recommend?

Omg INVADE AWAY! ESP about Disney! Okay...I’m doing this by memory, and it’s been a while so I will likely forget things, but lets go park by park:

WDW

Magic Kingdom: classic Mickey pretzel, Mickey ice cream bar, Mickey ice cream sandwich, found at most kiosks throughout most of the parks. Pretzels are delicious and come with cheese sauce automatically now, YUM.

-Corn Dog Nuggets from Casey’s corner. They’re exactly what you’d think they are and they are the best meal/snack

-Giant cinnamon buns from Gaston’s Tavern

-Grey stuff from Be our Guest (need reservations, lunch & dinner are very different) breakfast is the most worth the cost, but no grey stuff

-Dole whips, kiosk in adventureland(also have these at Disneyland) pineapple soft serve in a cup or with pine juice in a float! Great to eat while waiting for parade in the sun

-Pecos Bills in Frontierland: has a fajita platter, its HUGE, ask for an extra set of tortillas (will cost but cheap) then go WILD at the free topping bar, more than enough food for two people

-I THINK they might still have poutine at the little kiosk across from pecos, waffle fry poutine but they might’ve gotten rid of it

Hollywood Studios:

I’ve heard great things about Star Wars land & Toy Story land food, but haven’t been since they were built...the rest of the food at DHS is crap. Except for the pb 7& j milkeshake from 50’s prime time cafe, it’s a sit down restaurant with great food, but you can get milkshakes to go at the bar that’s walk in

Animal Kingdom:

-Avatar land has some great meals and snacks, and some super yummy boozy (or non boozy) slushes

-Yak & Yeti sit down is my fave, they also have deep fried cream cheese wontons on the dessert menu, YUM.

-Harambe market place has great smaller snack/small meal type things.

-Flame Tree BBQ is the best bang for your buck, big meals and portions and lots of choices

Epcot:

-Best food out of all parks, hands down.

-Skip future world food completely, it’s all your basic burgers and fries minus Sunshine Seasons inside of the Land, they’ve got some super delicious, super fresh, and grown in house meals.

-world showcase is WHERE IT IS AT though.

Canada: sit down restaurant Le Collier, their filet mignon is to DIE for, holy shit (they also exclusively use Alberta beef, so you know its good) also peep that pretzel bread, and beer & cheddar cheese soup. You NEED reservations here and it fills up FAST (one of the smallest dining rooms on property)

-Uk: fish and chip stand. Literally the only fish & chips I’ve found since being in Aus that taste good. Beware the seagulls though... the Welsh Dragon drink at the rose & crown is bomb!!

-France: grand mariner orange slush(during flower & garden get the pink slush) amazing baguette sandwiches inside the bakery, along with so many good treats

-Morocco’s quick service has great platters, the vegetarian platter is delicious!!

-Japan: Tokyo sunset drink, their quick serve is super good, but your basic Japanese food you can get anywhere

-Italy: in the wine shop, a glass of rose regala! Inside Tutto Gusto, go to the bar and get a espresso martini. They don’t have a quick serve, but Via Napoli has great pizzas, and during food & wine their food is amazing (duh)

-Germany: grapefruit beer (also a great choice if drinking around the world cause its only 2%) also LIFE HACK: go to the very last shop in the shops on the left, they have cheese plates & wine flights for like $5 a piece! Don’t waste your time on the pretzels, they’re usually stale/dry.

-Norway: people are obsessed with the school bread, but i don’t like it, but their bakery has lots of yummy options

-Mexico: fucking a avocado margarita my friends! (If you want blended) or a cucumber margarita for not blended. If spicy is your thing, get a jalapeño one. They’re all located inside the temple in the small margarita shop also TONS of tequila options, it’s tiny, so there’s going to be a line and chances are you will have to buy one and not get a seat unless you want a long wait.

Advice on drinking around the world (aka, having one drink in each country) ITS EXPENSIVE, budget like $120MIN. Get one drink, drink it between that pavilion while you explore, AND the next one, skip the 2nd country and get a new drink in the third (aka, start in Canada, drink your beer during it and the UK, get a fresh drink in France and so on) repeat this over two loops around world showcase. Also SHARE drinks, and for the love of god drink water, it’s florida after all.’

RESORTS:

Starting with my favourite “monorail pub crawl” we usually opt to do this during out MK day and start on the monorail there, heading to....

Contemporary: the Blue lagoon drink from the Wave, it’s a fishbowl drink meant for sharing and there’s gummy fishes in it.

-Otherwise, time it right and head up to the California Grill lounge to watch the sunset/fireworks

Polynesian: the Lapu Lapu upstairs by Ohana is served in a pineapple and super yummy. I prefer to head to Trader Sams downstairs. Inside is tiny and usually busy but they have an outdoor terrace with the same menu, the Zombie head is delicious, but hella strong. The Uh-ohh is meant for sharing and DELICIOUS and they set it on fire and let you throw cinnamon in it, which is bomb. The headhunter roll sushi is bomb

Grand Floridian: grab a glass of wine from the Citricos lounge i usually opt for a blush sparkling but now i cant remember the name. We usually also order a cheese board & charcuterie here and take them to the couches in the upstairs lobby to listen to the live music, but there’s a new bar there now so that’s probably not do able.

Fort Wilderness Resort & campground: Davy crockett’s tavern has some amazing moonshine drinks. Trail’s end is also a super bomb buffet, but the QUEEN of everything here is the Hoop Dee Doo musical revue (again, book in advance) it’s dinner and a show, dinner includes, cornbread, salad, fried chicken, ribs, potatoes, corn (ask for the Mac and cheese too), beans, strawberry shortcake, red or white sangria, red or white wine or beer, or non alcoholic drinks and IT IS ALL YOU CAN EAT AND ALL YOU CAN DRINK. Seriously. And the shows incredible.

Animal Kingdom lodge: the “Mara” their food court, has without a doubt the most authentic dishes and they are delicious, they also have “zebra domes” which are a dessert, they’re like...cookie chocolate, custard, with booze filling? I dont know how to describe them but theyr’e amazing

Disney Springs: Ragland Road. It’s my ride or die. You can create your own beer/cider flights for super cheap and the size of the drinks are decent! The shrimp and scallops on the appi menu are delicious

Also Earl of Sandwich: the holiday sandwich is my go to.

DISNEYLAND:

-honestly, overall, way better quick service food than WDW.

-Soup in a bread bowl in California adventure, different flavours of soup, or you can do salad (also check out the bakery next door where they give out free sourdough samples)

-In New Orlean’s square, just like, anything and everything, the gumbo is amazing, you must try the beignets, and the mint juleps

Okay that got WAY out of hand and there’s probably way more things that I’m forgetting or that or more authentic that I just can’t remember right now, BUT, there ya go!

[futurelibrariansstuff]

Bibliographic Data: Swamp Angel written by Isaacs, Anne and illustrated by Zelinsky, Paul. New York : Dutton, 1994. ISBN 978-0-525-45271-3.

Plot Summary: Along with other amazing feats, Angelica Longrider, also known as Swamp Angel, wrestles a huge bear, known as Thundering Tarnation, to save the winter supplies of the settlers in Tennessee.

Critical Analysis: Swamp Angel is a tall tale full of humor, exaggeration, and a satisfying ending. It takes place in Tennessee in the 1800’s, which is made evident both by the narrator but also in the dialect of the characters (ex: “Confound it, varmint, if you warn’t the most wondrous heap a trouble I ever come to grips with!”). Issacs does a good job of building the character of Angelica into this extra larger than life woman and how she came to be known as the Swamp Angel. The plot is easy to follow, and is full of humorous explanations of how things came to be (ex: the origin of the Ursa Minor constellation). As the story progresses, Swamp Angel must fight Thundering Tarnation, a dangerous bear who threatens the winter supplies of Tennessee residents, but not before being met with doubts about her abilities as a woman. Eventually she defeats Tarnation, leaving the state of Tennessee well fed and feeling safer. Themes present in this book include good triumphing over evil and women being just as capable as men. 

Zelinsky’s illustrations add to the wild and exaggerated events in Swamp Angel. They emphasize Swamp Angel’s larger-than-life persona, showing her towering over the “normal” people. The illustrations are swoopy and colorful, with shades of yellow and oranges being used most often to highlight the Tennessee landscape changing from fall to winter. The backgrounds of each page are veneers of various trees native to Tennessee, bring a more powerful and believable setting to the reader.

Review Excerpt(s): Publishers Weekly. “This valiant heroine is certain to leave youngsters chuckling-and perhaps even keeping a close watch on the night sky”

Kirkus. “To say that you are entering Caldecott land doesn't begin to do this book justice.”

Caldecott Medal/Honor.

Notable/Best Books (A.L.A.)

Connections: This book could be used in a unit about comparing tall tales. Students could compare Swamp Angel to stories of Paul Bunyan, Pecos Bill, and other well-known tall tales. 

This book could be used as a mentor text for a tall tale writing unit to teach skills such as writing with exaggeration and humor. 

Other books that could be included in a tall tale unit:

Pecos Bill : a tall tale written by Kellogg, Steven.

Big Jabe written by Nolen, Jerdine and illustrated by Nelson, Kadir.

[thealmightyemprex]

Top 10 films of Westember

10.Tall Tale (1995)

A fun western film with a fantastical twist ,with a boy getting help from legendary heroes like Pecos Bill,John Henry and Paul Bunyan

9.The Apple Dumpling Gang (!975)

A charming family movie that legit made me laugh a lot

8.Alias Jesse James (1959)

Another comedy,this time by comedic icon Bob Hope .I went in with low expectations and I got a laugh riot

7.Kenny Rodgers as The Gambler

A TV movie LOOSELY based on a song.....That is really damn good with great characterd,and a cool gimick of mostly taking place on a train

6.The Tin Star (!957)

Henry Fonda and Anthony Perkins are great leads and I love the story of a bounty hunter training an unexperienced Sheriff .Definately my second favorite western starring Anthony Perkins,Neville Brand , Lee Van Cleef and a western legend released in 1957

5.Ace High (!968)

A perfect example of a movie where I had no clue where it was going to go ,especially with the duo of Bud Spencer and Terrence Hill mixing with the wild card that is Eli Wallach

4.Destry Rides Again (!939)

James Stewart as my hero of the month a guy who hates guns and uses folksy tales when dealing with people

3.Naked Spur (!953)

I liked this film cause I didnt know who to trust , the heroes arent heroic and tyhe villain is charming

2.Open Range (2003)

An idealistic western disguised as a dark one ,it was refreshing to see a mostly hopeful Western ,this was legit almost my favorite western of the month ....But one movie nudged it out

1. The Lonely Man (1957)

I had never heard of this film ,I knew nothing about it but the actors ....And it blew me away . This is a film that I feel needs to be discussed as a classic and a solid father and son tale

@ariel-seagull-wings @amalthea9 @metropolitan-mutant-of-ark @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @filmcityworld1 @marquisedemasque @princesssarisa @lord-antihero

[dweemeister]

Melody Time (1948)

Disengaged and disinterested, Walt Disney was adrift at his own studio in the late 1940s. The studio’s modestly-budgeted package animated features were designed to save it from financial ruin. Yet, they required artistic and storytelling compromises that Disney was loathe to make. In this period, Disney shuffled personnel around the various departments – whether due to personal conflicts or dissatisfaction with their artistic approach on a certain film. Melody Time’s segments are of varying quality and limited experimentation, reflecting the organizational tumult within the studio. No standout moment exists in Melody Time, even though it is more energetic and looser than the preceding Fun and Fancy Free (1947).

The modern Walt Disney Company has advertised Melody Time as a film, “in the grand tradition of Disney’s greatest musical classics, such as Fantasia.” Audacious comparison to make, but functionally inaccurate. Fantasia, as imagined by Walt Disney, Deems Taylor, Leopold Stokowski, and the studio’s animators, was crafted so that its animation would empower the music (in cinema, the reverse – where music serves the action on-screen – is almost always a filmmaker’s approach). The reverse of that relationships holds here. Melody Time contains these seven segments, or “mini-musicals”: “Once Upon a Wintertime”, “Bumble Boogie”, “The Legend of Johnny Appleseed”, “Little Toot”, “Trees”, “Blame It on the Samba”, and “Pecos Bill”. Some of these mini-musicals are more watchable and more artistically interesting than others – although that standard is relatively low in Melody Time.

“Once Upon a Wintertime” is based on an overused Disney narrative template that never ceases to be a bore. A young couple are out and about, flirting and flitting, all while the woodland animals scurrying back and forth mirror human courtship. The segment, however, is partially redeemed by Frances Langford singing the segment’s title song (composed by Bobby Worth and Ray Gilbert) and the unmistakable influence of Mary Blair (1950’s Cinderella, the “It’s a Small World” attraction at Disneyland in Anaheim) in its aesthetic. With any piece of animation involving Mary Blair, one can expect an eye-catching use of color and her modernist art style. “Once Upon a Wintertime” is like a holiday card brought to animated life. Unlike a picturesque and meaningful holiday card, though, it overstays its welcome. But the stereotypical treatment of the young women appearing in “Once Upon a Wintertime” is, to put it mildly, clichéd writing at best. Hackneyed, too, is the fact that the woodland animals come to the human’s rescue.

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s Flight of the Bumblebee is one of the most recognizable (and overplayed) pieces of Western classical music, even to those folks who go out of their way to announce their distaste for classical music. Given a jazz rendition by the Freddy Martin Orchestra, “Bumble Boogie” is a thankfully brief three-minute foray. Here, an insect (that does not seem anything like a bee) flies through a series of surreal images – mostly parts of musical instruments (piano keys in particular) – that it must avoid. The segment is visually entertaining to watch, even if it must have been the easiest to prepare, design, and animated for in all of Melody Time. If placed in either Fantasia or Fantasia 2000, it would easily be the weakest Fantasia segment ever produced.

Third in the film is a segment that feels most like a classic Disney production. “The Legend of Johnny Appleseed” is Disney’s glorified and sanitized take on the eponymous American pioneer, nurseryman, conservationist, and missionary. Walt’s personal ideology and perspective on American history included the fulfillment of Manifest Destiny and the taming of the nation’s wilds as among humanity’s greatest achievements. These are notions that Walt – through his films, theme parks, television shows, and public and private remarks – never questioned. Narrated and with Johnny Appleseed voiced by Dennis Day, there is a sincerity to Johnny’s characterization not present anywhere else in the movie. Again, Mary Blair’s artwork – this time, her forested backgrounds – appears as if heaven-sent. The umbrella-like canopy of the apple trees and “untamed” forests are inviting, and attract one’s eyes upward – towards the apples, paradise.

The title song (sometimes referred to as “The Lord is Good to Me”) featured in the opening moments of “The Legend of Appleseed” is one of the earliest – and one of the few – mentions or depictions of religious faith in a Disney animated work. It reinforces the mythos that surrounds Johnny Appleseed (and, by extension, the belief that white men are divine heroes for civilizing the lands west of the original Thirteen Colonies) to the present day. I was not raised in any of the Abrahamic religions, but it difficult to deny the simple charm of the title song and this segment – even if it endorses a troublesome perspective on American history. “The Legend of Johnny Appleseed” is the best segment of Melody Time – from its unassuming storytelling and wondrous animation. It is the only Melody Time segment that I could possibly envision as a decent feature-length animated film.

Based on a 1939 children’s picture book of the same name Hardie Gramatky, “Little Toot” is a chore to sit through. The segment shares similar narrative and aesthetic tissue with Saludos Amigos’ (1942) “Pedro”, which concerned an anthropomorphic mail airplane that thinks it could. Along the Hudson River in New York City, Little Toot is a tiny tugboat who aspires to be like his father Big Toot. Just as in “Pedro”, this is a case of an anthropomorphized vehicle child who attempts to assume adult responsibility in order to prove that they can perform tasks as well as the adults can. Given that Little Toot is a meddling prankster playing tugboat games, it is difficult to feel much sympathy when he finally faces the consequences of his actions – which probably includes calamitous infrastructural damage and human casualties. Of course, Little Toot is eventually redeemed through some heroic deeds. All of the tugboats will love him, as they belt out with glee that Little Toot will go down in history. The segment is grating, including the novelty title song sung by The Andrews Sisters. Aside from some fascinating water effects, there is not much that “Little Toot” offers in the way of animated interest. Otherwise, it is least interesting segment of the film.

The palate-cleanser is “Trees”, a four-minute segment based on Joyce Kilmer’s poem of the same name (music composed by Oscar Rasbach and performed by Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians). Its aesthetic harkens back to a few seconds near the end of the “Ave Maria” in Fantasia, but otherwise “Trees” is distinct from anything else that has appeared in the Disney animated canon. When setting to work on “Trees”, layout artist Ken O’Connor (1941’s Dumbo, 1987’s The Brave Little Toaster) found himself enamored by the concept art, and endeavored to be a faithful to the style set by the concept art as possible. To do this, O’Connor frosted cels before drawing pastel images onto the cel. Before being photographed by the studio’s multiplane camera, each cel was laminated in clear lacquer to prevent the pastel from smudging. Thanks to O’Connor’s experimentation, “Trees”, however fleeting, lays claim to some of the most beautiful animation among all of the package Disney animated features.

“Blame it on the Samba” sees a reunion of Donald Duck and Brazilian parrot José Carioca (Saludos Amigos, 1944’s The Three Caballeros) are walking about, depressed, directionless. Suddenly, they encounter the Aracuan Bird (who debuted in The Three Caballeros), who whisks them inside a cocktail that introduces them to the rhythmic pleasures of the samba. The segment’s title song is based on Ernesto Nazareth’s polka Apanhei-te, Cavaquinho, sung by The Dinning Sisters with adapted English lyrics, and accompanied by organist Ethel Smith (who appears as herself).

“Blame it on the Samba” feels like it should have been featured in either Saludos Amigos or The Three Caballeros – and that was the intention exactly. Intended to appear in Saludos Amigos, “Blame it on the Samba” was animated and completed in time for it to be incorporated in The Three Caballeros. Given Donald Duck’s lust for human women in the second half of the latter movie, “Blame it on the Samba” might have otherwise been a serviceable penultimate number in that film. The segment is an explosion of color, a kick in the rear for a movie that feels much longer than its seven-five-minute runtime might suggest. And yet in a segment for a music genre innovated in Brazil and popularized by Brazilians, the performers and the performance lack any discernible Brazilian influence or roots. This is not samba music. Instead, it is the culmination of what a white American might think samba music sounds like. This unfortunate development probably would have been avoided entirely if “Blame it on the Samba” appeared in those two aforementioned films instead.

“Pecos Bill”, based on the Texan folk hero of the same name, makes reference to American Indians in ghastly ways. Simultaneously, its absurd humor and lack of fidelity to sensible human behavior and physics make it a delight to watch. The segment also boasts the presence of Roy Rogers and the Pioneers (and Rogers’ horse, Trigger). Child actors Luana Patten and Bobby Driscoll, both of whom had just starred in Song of the South (1946), make brief appearances in the segment’s hybrid animation/live-action introduction. Rogers, then contracted to Republic Pictures, was one of the quintessential stars of the singing cowboy subgenre – singing cowboy movies were almost exclusively made by the “Poverty Row” studios including Republic, and they were extremely profitable against their barebones budgets). “Pecos Bill” all begins with the atmospheric, moody “Blue Shadows on the Trail”. “Blue Shadows on the Trail” describes and, through its spare instrumentation, reflects the emptiness and desolation of the American West. It is a beautiful ballad, and could easily be placed in any Western (singing cowboy movies or otherwise).

Once the hybrid animation/live-action introduction concludes, “Pecos Bill” steams forward with comic hyperbole followed by another comic hyperbole. The title song (music by Eliot Daniel, lyrics by Johnny Lange) doubles down on the exaggerations. Those exaggerations include the segment’s constant gunplay – escaping censorship from the Hays Code: a risqué gag that includes Pecos Bill’s guns going off because of love interest Slue Foot Sue. At least Melody Time ends brashly and riotously, but any impressionable children watching will require a discussion from a trusted adult. Its depictions of American Indians and men-women relations are deplorable, but after just over an hour of inconsistent quality, I found myself enjoying “Pecos Bill” more than I imagined.

Shortly after the release of Melody Time, Walt Disney embarked on a three-week cruise to Hawai’i. Walt rarely went vacationing, and he spent these weeks fully concentrating on his family and escaping from the minutiae of managing his studio. Even after returning from Hawai’i, Walt did not spend much time in Burbank. Walt invited animator and fellow train enthusiast Ward Kimball on a trip to the Midwest. Together, they attended the 1948 Chicago Railroad Fair, visited the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Michigan, and stopped at other locations close to Walt’s childhood in the Midwest. Through the end of 1948, Walt spent more time constructing the train set in his backyard than paying attention to the animation and live-action movies his studio was producing. What seemed like idleness to many (including New York Times film critic Bosley Crowther, who believed that Disney was a cinematic genius wasting his time on quixotic projects) was a major inspiration for a draft sketch entitled “Mickey Mouse Park”, dated August 31, 1948.

The package era at Walt Disney Productions (now Walt Disney Animation Studios) was nearing its end. Every film during this run – Saludos Amigos (1942), The Three Caballeros (1944), Make Mine Music (1946), Fun and Fancy Free (1947), Melody Time, and The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949) – faced the same narrative of Walt Disney’s personal indifference to the projects, a lack of direction and motivation among the animators, and audience and critic dissatisfaction when compared to Disney’s Golden Age movies. A return to non-package animated features would be imminent, in spite of Melody Time’s mediocre performance at the box office. The Disney studios would attempt to begin a period of renewal with a tradition that inaugurated their animated canon – with a fairy tale.

My rating: 6/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

[fanarchoslashivist]

You ruined me !!!! (;Д;) I can't read half of the rise of the guardians fics because their obsession are 4th of July anime girl or shape-shifting coyote and you're over here like "here is my oc their a regional interpretation of a local cultural hero that if you Google search the name will give you niche information you didnt learn in history class but broadens your understanding of different folk heroes in America not just white people's." P.s. I love Cantabrica I am torn in my ships.

Noon don't feel torn! Cantabrica is just as important as Jack I promise.

Also I noticed that too, not to rag at all on fellow fic writers but there is a very rich well of cultural icons on par with "Jack Frost" "Father time" and "man in the moon". Some with holidays and festivals, others regional duties. Most pull from religious pools and I do that too but I feel like you can give too much or too little significance if you handle important religious groups as if they are Santa Clause.

I lean heavy on the Indigenous icons because Jack is from America and the people he would interact with would be those icons. Unmade Bed skims along a little deeper then my usual fics by also introducing tensions between Frontier folk heroes, African American folk heroes, and Indigenous icons and folk heroes. I don't create unnamed transformer heroes just for the appeal of a shape-shifting character to match their names. I also try to treat powerful sacred entities with the respect their due. I'm not about to make Nanabush a giant rabbit or, gods forbid, "someone saw Bunnymund and it spiraled from there".

Jack interacts with Winter icons because he is of Winter and is beloved by Mother Nature and Gichi-Biboon, and because of that he has met and knows powerful people through them. If he nows Gichi-Biboon and Flint then he knows Gloskap and Moskim but those icons are (sacred) culture heroes and tricksters too and so Jack interacting with them and Pamola is within reason. Jack meeting Creator Gods who culture heroes themselves have difficulty reaching would not make sense, and admitting that one God created the world validates a religion over another and we already have Bunnymund as having terraformed the planet billions of years ago.

Frontier and Folk legends are easier because anyone whose deeds are raised to mythic standards can be used, and Wild West icons like Calamity Jane are super racist rounding up natives to put on reservations so Jack being seen as a Frontier spirit, a weather spirit, and a folk hero as well as being white passing Lenape and interacting openly with Indigenous heroes of the time such as Lozen, Geronimo, Kintpuash, Tenskwatawa, Buckongahelas, Whisper, and Pîhtokahanapiwiyin would put people like Jane and Bill off, even while some Wild West heroes were abolishionists and get on well with black icons like Br'er Rabbit and John Henry. Which means no gathering can be 100% free of racists because there are abolitionists who hate Natives and Natives who owned slaves and black heroes whose trickster myths involve theft and violence and grey morality, and they all end up getting +1'd no matter how careful you are when hosting a Frontier gathering.

Additionally you have Pecos Bill and Paul Bunyan who are myths with little in the way of human ties, and Smokey the Bear with 2 different presumed origin stories. And Bunyan got beaten to death by a fish! Which gave me a great opportunity to remake him as a patron spirit of the saw line for forest fires instead of logging.

I just really don't like when the Guardians are placed on equal or greater level with powerful beings of living thriving cultures. Santa Clause is a magician that delivers toys, creator god he is not.

One of the scenes I didn't include in Unmade Bed was at a typical meet up of the Folk Heroes where it devolves into a shootout involveing Katherine coming upon them and thinking it was a weird "cowboys vs indians" mock battle since they're all immortals and trying to get them to stop and make nice so she can get their help with a search she's on and Victorio interrupting her lecture of "fighting at any provocation" with a "no, we aren't disagreeing over something silly, we are HERE because we were invited and they are SHOOTING us because they want us DESTROYED."

But if Katherine had met Jack in the past she would have noticed his mirror image to Nightlight, so I took it out. Still I'd love to work with more Indigenous folk heroes if it means more people Google and learn about them. Leaders who raised rebellions and defended their people and inspired others, religious leaders, respected elders, they are far more deserving of a place in my writing then trying to invent someone for some holiday.

[guardiantempest]

Learning With Manga: Riyo’s Udon Servants

Y’know, for a gag manga, Riyo has put in a lot of thought obscuring his Servant’s identities and giving out only hints throughout the comic’s run. The first three Servants (Rider, Assassin and Berserker) had their biographies spelled out in the print bookbut not their actual names (not that it’s needed, the hints were big enough).

I’m saying Udon Servants because they were apparently made by mixing Udon dough with Grail mud.

Due to the ridiculous amount of images, I’ve added a cut.

EDIT: I posted this without the cut. Oops. EDIT 2: Changed some wordings

Rider

Okay, pastel-colored bunnygirl. No specific identity tied to a rabbit (that I know of) so her appearance is a red herring. Could be anyone at this point.

Passion for filmmaking. There are a lot of influential movie people throughout history from old to new. At least the set equipment implies a director.

Severe hatred of Thomas Edison? Well, I guess that narrows it down to more old-timey directors. Back in his time he screwed over a lot of people, including many foreign filmmakers by plagiarizing their works.

A Trip to the Moon? There’s only one director who has that in his repertoire and that is Georges Méliès. That probably explains her outfit as a the rather-tangential nod to moon rabbits. Her Noble Phantasm is apparently a loooot of her film reels...made out of very volatile nitrate (which destroys Chaldea in the process). She also references older films like Purple Noon when chatting with Olga.

Assassin

Okay, woman with a gun, presumably with lingerie? Perhaps she’s a secret agent, or a modernized take on those assassin seductresses. Throughout the comic she’s shown to be adept with information gathering.

Definitely affiliated with spycraft. I don’t know any woman involved in such line of work (the one female secret agent I know is Nancy Wake, who isn’t). However this is Fate and genderswaps can be a thing. That O&C provides a pretty big hint to her identity. According to Google, it can stand for “Official and Confidential” affiliated with the one and only J. Edgar Hoover. Y’know, now that her identity is revealed in that tweet above, the comic’s art style makes it vague whether she’s really a genderswap or just crossdressing. Yes, the FBI did have a brief history of crossdressing to catch perps. Too bad her Noble Phantasm is practically useless to those who don’t care about keeping secrets.

It’s kinda funny how Riyo gives all his Servants personality quirks, like Melies’ seething hatred to Edison and occasional lapses to violent solutions. I guess this quirk is meant to be more “gap moe”, kinda like that Yakuza househusband? It’s really endearing. Still, I think Olga scored a keeper. In a standard Grail War she can be pretty useful if deployed correctly (and maybe easier to work with than Mata Hari).

I like her suit, I hope it’s one of her ascensions.

Berserker

Woah, she big. There are a lot of significant giants in mythology, and her modernized appearance provides less hints than expected. She ate Nursery Rhyme several pages later and becomes a mainstay in the Children’s Kingdom.

Keep in mind this is before All the Statesmen event on JP, but that blue ox(?) is a clear indicator to who she is: Paul Bunyan, North American folklore figure. This doesn’t come off as a surprise to us since we already had said event spelling it out for us. Unlike her murderous portrayal in the comic though, in-game she’s a total sweetheart who just wants to help...by terraforming any wild terrain in the name of civilization.

Lancer

We first see Lancer impaling Gudako in a comic. The folks in the livestream joked that she’s genderswapped Van Helsing. It seems to make sense, showing that spike. But they clarified that it was a joke so that’s out of the window.

Something of value? She’s referring to fossils. What about the lightning? It’s a reference to her real life counterpart who survived a lightning strike. That’s right, this woman is Mary Anning! A servant who’s not a genderbend this time!

Totally a raging lesbian. I’m not sure if that’s historical, a reference to a recent biopic, or merely a personality quirk. Maybe it’s an extrapolation to her network of women. One of her skills (Sea Lily Charisma) does let her attract women to help her out. Her canine companion is very cute, at least.

She does have a point. As a Lancer she wields giant prehistoric fish. From the speculation I saw on Reddit, I think it might be a reference to a manga/doujin of her being a mage and can summon living counterparts of her fossil. Her Noble Phantasm wasn’t showed because she got tag-teamed by two Sabers before she got to use it.

Archer

A cowgirl! There are quite a few notable wild west legends like Billy the Kid. This one looks like she has animal ears, or just really weird hair. Using a rope and lasso is indicative of “generic cowgirl”, for a Heroic Spirit to wield it means she must be known for using it.

Coyotes, huh? That pretty confirms it: this cowgirl Archer is Pecos Bill, raised by coyotes and most famous for lassoing a tornado (then riding it). According to the print book, one of her personal skills is Rodeo, which allows her to ride something and not fall off (but it’s in no way similar to the Riding skill). Yeah, being raised by coyotes pretty much translates to coyote animal ears...and feral instincts.

I remember reading on Reddit that one of Bill’s feats is shooting down stars, so that might be why she’s an Archer. Riyo sure is drawing from a lot of western influences.

Saber

Well this is a curveball. The very distinct attire should narrow it down though I don’t know which culture seems most appropriate. While there are more than a few pregnant women in mythologies, the comic clarifies that the real Servant is the unborn baby and the mother is just tagging along.

Well, that’s certainly something. I remember reading somewhere that back in the old ages, saunas are used instead of hospitals for childbirth in snowy regions of Europe. The unborn Servant has a Courtship skill that causes him to hit on almost every female he comes across.

There are a lot of guesses for his identity, one of which is Väinämöinen. A demigod who spent a very long time in the womb, can speak while in there, and was born an old man. The evidence feels shaky and debate rages on.

Caster

Jesus Christ, Jeanne, what are you doing?! I just added this page because it’s hilarious.

Mouse maids! A miracle that they survived getting chopped up into bits! It’s rather vague on who they are, guesses include the Rolling Riceball (which is just Benienma’s story) and Ratatouille, funnily enough. Most of their appearances so far is just pandering for Gudako (giving Onigiri, enabling the WiFi, providing Dakimakuras) as an effect of one of their Personal Skills (Servitude).

Their profile says that this isn’t their true form (maybe as a consequence of getting turned to noodles). Their Territory Creation should allow them to make a dreamland and provide anything, but for now all they can make is a good-enough kitchen and onigiri.

Another Personal Skill is Reproduction, which allows them to rapidly increase their numbers when left alone. Nonstop. This can get out of hand fast. People in the comment section were speculating various rat-related myths, primarily ones with a swarm theme.

Although it seems the rats are up to something.

Well that’s terrifying. A guy on Reddit assumed that the mice is connected to Raigo, the accursed monk. I thought it was a very dark take on a folklore/fairy tale, something about mice fattening up someone to eat them.

Okay, the mallet and the sack is definitely a clue. Apparently that represents Daikokuten, who is frequently portrayed with mice near him. I understand what they were trying to do. All this time they were trying to build up for their true power. A god of good fortune and/or prosperity is not to be messed with, especially if he’s currently incarnating RIyo Gudako as a pseudo-servant.

I think their Modus Operandi is pretty horrifying, yet also makes sense. A Master cannot simply summon a god under normal circumstances but summoning its herald(s) who, in turn, will make way for their patron deity seems totally fair.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #207: Beyond a Shadow...

May, 1981

“After countless centuries HE LIVES AGAIN! THE SHADOW LORD COMETH!”

He cometh riding upon a tornado like its a mighty sand worm. What a guy, this Shadow Lord.

Honestly seeing the Avengers tumbling about in a tornado cracks me up every time. Especially Wonder Man who looks nonchalant about it aside from being ass over head.

So I don’t think we’ve really talked about it but this period of Avengers is kind of between main writers.

Since issue 200 and its four writers, we’ve had David Michelinie and Roger Stern on the two-part adaptation of that Ultron novel, David Michelinie for that weird story with the Crawlers in the sewers; Jim Shooter, David Michelinie, and Bob Budiansky for the Yellow Claw two-parter, Bill Mantlo for the everything is on fire story and now Bob Budiansky and Danny Fingeroth for this issue and the next. We start getting a consistent writer again starting in #211.

I wonder what was going on behind the scenes around this time.

Anyway, onward.

So we start the issue with who I assume is the Shadow Lord. But he’s not riding a tornado, like Pecos Bill. He’s standing on an invisible ocean structure of some kind. Apparently a mysterious invisible ocean structure of some kind that hasn’t been seen for almost two millennia.

And yet, someone has kindly painted the title of the issue in English on the mysterious invisible ocean structure of some kind.

Some guy, maybe the Shadow Lord: “The dreaded time has at last arrived, the moment I prayed would never come... the moment I knew would surely come. He is soon to return, and only the power entrusted to me is capable of stopping him. And even that power may not prove sufficient.”

“With every passing second, my city and myself pass ever more fully into the Earth’s plane of existence. Would that the cause of my return here from the barren vastnesses of the Shadow World was as joyous as the glow of this new day’s sun.”

“But the grim responsibility of an entire race is my unwelcome inheritance. It is a duty I cannot shirk. Alas, I must take what comfort I can in knowing that no matter what the result of the coming debacle, I will at least be free to rejoin Ayshera, she whom my heart holds most dear... though whether our reunion will be in celebration of victory -- or in darkest mourning for the ashes of this planet -- none willy truly know until the final battle.”

Some Guy sure is helpfully monologuing his entire life story here. And even so he manages to be vague, inside his own mind, about the nature of the threat he faces. Way to preserve the mystery, Guy.

Also, he’s from the Shadow World so he may be a Yugioh.

Anyway, as one might expect, a city appearing in the middle of the ocean out of nowhere is of alarm so US aircraft carrier Poseidon shows up and starts yelling at Some Guy.

Some Guy decides that they sound mad but he doesn’t have time for lengthy explanations so instead he gestures and the winds and waves start whipping up.

Welp! Seems like the US Poseidon is going on an Adventure!

Meanwhile, Mt. Vesuvius!

Yup. Its that kind of story, the kind partially set at Vesuvius.

Some archeologists are digging in the foothills of the mountain in what has been a fruitless several weeks of archeology but one of the archeologists finds a hand shaped object which may be a hand.

They mistake it for a statue at first but realize its actually a perfectly preserved lava mummified corpse.

And while they’re busy congratulating each other about how wealthy and famous this discovery will make them, they fail to notice the hand moving its finger shaped fingers.

And elsewhere again, the best damn thing.

A cowboy shouts “SLAP LEATHER, YA GALOOT!” and then gets shot by a cannon.

This isn’t the Wild West of the America, this is a spaghetti western film set and the director is very upset at Black Bart’s shitty death acting. How hard is it to get hit by a cannon and then to fall down and pretend to die like you just got hit by a cannon?

You wouldn’t think there’s a wrong way to get shot by a cannon but you’d be wrong.

Simon Williams, Wonder Man: “I’m sorry, Mr. Bertolini. It’s just that, being Wonder Man, it’s hard for me to pretend those cannonballs are hurting me when I can hardly feel them.”

Mr. Bertolini: “True, signore Wonder Man, but I hired you because I thought you could-a act!”

Oh yeah, Mr. Bertolini talks like Mario. So that’s another tally for Marvel’s respect of other countries and cultures.

Aside from this being the seventh take on a ‘guy gets hit by a cannonball, beefs it’ scene, cannonballs are expensive. The cannonball that bounced off Wonder Man’s midsection looks fine but maybe you can’t just reuse them.

The filming breaks for lunch and Wonder Man wanders over to where his moral support is.

His moral support, of course, being Beast.

And he is moral supporting but he’s also multitasking with some women because even in Italy, women are just fascinated by blue fur. Furries are universal.

Wonder Man doesn’t feel supported though and this lousy spaghetti western film is a good opportunity for him.

If you remember, the last project we saw him get was as a cheetah print leotard wearing muscle man on a kids show and he got fired for making the host Uncle Elmer look ridiculous.

(Revealed to Simon’s chagrin in #194, lost to mishap in #201)

Being in an actual movie, even a spaghetti western, is the boost his career needs.

(I think we need to confront the actual possibility that Wonder Man is not a very good actor. But he might be a good stunt man if he can learn to act like things hurt)

Wonder Man’s publicist Rachel Palmer shows up as well and wow. Rachel has never appeared before and given the fillery nature of these chaotic no consistent writer times may not appear beyond this story. But you instantly get the sense of their working relationship.

And they have good banter too.

Wonder Man: “Wait. There she is -- Rachel Palmer -- the apple of my eye, the light of my life, the bane of my existence!”

Rachel: “If you delivered your lines that well in front of the cameras, Simon, you might actually keep this job -- which’ll make it just a little easier to hype you as a star back in the States.”

Wonder Man: “Your encouraging words are a constant source of inspiration, Rachel. But I’d appreciate it if you’d confine them to your press releases.”

Rachel: “You’ve got me all wrong, Simon. I hope this whole thing turns out well for you. Really.”

Wonder Man: “And for yourself. After all, if you make me a big name, you can ride along on my coat-tails and become a media hotshot -- instead of being stuck as a flak for Grade D Westerns.”

Rachel: “No, Simon. I--”

Wonder Man: “Forget it, lady. I’m a big boy. I know that all’s fair in love -- and show biz.”

And then he walks off towards his trailer, satisfied at getting the last word with someone whose job it is to make him look good. Beast says that he thinks Wonder Man was too hard on her and that Rachel probably digs Wonder Man.

Wonder Man: “Maybe you’re right. But I still can’t get over feeling that Rachel’s motivated by sheer self-interest and everything else places a distant second.”

(I’m pretty sure she does dig Wonder Man because unbeknowst to Wonder Man and Beast, she follows them to the trailer, wanting to convince Wonder Man that she’s not as self-serving as he thinks and also to invite him to a romantic dinner)

Anyway, Wonder Man’s social life isn’t important. At all. And not right now. Because when he and Beast go into Wonder Man’s trailer and discover the Avengers’ emergency signal briefcase is BEEP BEEPing.

It’s Cap and there’s an emergency situation that demands immediate investigation.

A brand new island city has just popped up in the middle of the Mediterranean slash off the coast of Majorca from out of nowhere and the government wants the Avengers to investigate.

Presumably the US government.

Because if I know anything about mysterious island cities appearing from nowhere - and I know exactly one thing - by jingo, they start wars!

Beast is enjoying his vacation so asks why the US Sixth Fleet doesn’t handle it instead. They’re actually paid to do things while on an ocean. But Iron Man just says that the fleet has had problems.

And with a little reading comprehension we can guess what problems. Because we’ve seen it. Its not a mystery.

Iron Man has a Stark plane sent to pick Beast and Wonder Man up and fly them to Majorca. Or somewhere thereabouts. I don’t know if Majorca has or had an airport.

Wonder Man bemoans that he’ll never be a movie star if he keeps leaving the set to go have exciting comic book superhero adventures.

Which is a little like complaining about being too handsome. Ya jerk.

And remember how Rachel Palmer was peeping on them? No? Scroll up a little and look at the above panels again. Back? And remember how Rachel Palmer was peeping on them?

Her media senses are tingling and telling her that she should definitely go check out the city that appeared in the middle of the ocean. She’s much intrepid for not a reporter.

Meanwhile, some slice of life filler fluff that doesn’t matter but that I find delightful.

And if this liveblog isn’t about sharing things that I find delightful then what is it about? Exhaustively recounting plots to comic books from decades ago? That’s just a side benefit!

The call to action back at Avengers Mansion comes right when Wanda is having Vision move a couch.

Vision: “Wanda, while it may be true that I am capable of moving this couch about all day, it seems a gross misuse of my android abilities to do so.”

Wanda: “Maybe if we just move those shelves then you just put it down there. We’re Avengers, not interior decorators.

This is the content I eagerly crave.

So back in not America, Beast and Wonder Man complain about the plane ride but passing over the ocean they see what trouble the Sixth Fleet was having.

Some Guy, Possibly Shadow Lord managed to strand the Poseidon aircraft carrier fully on a deserted island.

And I was wrong about the plane taking them to Majorca. Its apparently taking them to Poseidon because it lands on the ship’s airstrip so the two Avengers can consult the stranded sailors about what the heck is going on.

Captain Paul Garrison tells them that they were investigating the mysterious new island/city (not mentioning that they were also yelling at it) when a tidal wave suddenly swelled up and carried the Poseidon several miles and left it on this island.

And apparently the same thing happened to any other plane and ship that attempted to approach the island. Thwarted by winds and waves.

Damn you, nature!

Anyway, its all rather mysterious but Wonder Man figures

“Well, we were sent here to investigate. So... let’s investigate.”

And Wonder Man rockets off to investigate the city. While giving Beast a piggyback ride.

Which. Amazing image. Bless this issue for its bounty of amazing images.

Bear in mind that the captain said that the aircraft carrier was carried several miles. Wonder Man’s belt rockets have impressive duration considering he can’t be carrying much fuel on his person.

When they reach the city, they find a localized hurricane hovering right above it. But Wonder Man just flies down through the eye of the storm to get to the city.

Some Guy Shadow Lord is surprised because he had been expecting big boats and planes. Not a guy with rocket pants and a blue gorilla riding on his back.

But he’s able to shoo them away just as easily as any big thing, with a wave of his hand summoning a wind that carries Wonder Man and passenger Beast away from the city.

Meanwhile, Rachel Palmer is also here. She spent all her money renting a plane and then a boat but she’s going to get to that mysterious city and get an exclusive inside story!

So is she a journalist? Or what? She’s Lois Laneing but as far as we’ve heard her job is to convince people they want to see Wonder Man do stuff in movies.

Wonder Man spots her and tries to fly to her rescue but two water spouts spurt up to ruin this rescue plan.

The first one launches Rachel’s boat into the air and smashes it to pieces. The second blasts Wonder Man out of the sky preventing him from saving Rachel from falling to her death.

But unseen by either of the Avengers, a strong breeze safely lowers Rachel to the ground of the city.

Because what is an Avengers comic without men developing weird and intense feelings for a nearby woman.

Some Guy: “How beautiful she is, how like my own Ayshera. And, also like Ayshera, she is courageous... and more than a little headstrong.”

Cool. I hope this doesn’t get weird. Or that we’re not asked to sympathize with a guy whose only ‘sympathetic’ trait is a possessive attraction to a woman. Looking at you, Living Laser. And, I guess, Graviton.

Anyway, Wonder Man doesn’t see Rachel getting rescued by an airbender so he works himself into a lather.

Wonder Man: “That sinks it! It’s one thing to attack naval ships and planes... one thing to attack Avengers... But when he kills an innocent woman who could do him no harm -- that guy’s gonna answer to WONDER MAN!”

Honestly, I think you’re selling Rachel short. I’m sure she could do harm if she put her mind to it.  Like, what if she covered him in bees. That would suck.

Anyway, Wonder Man rages through the city’s protective winds and then gets SAFUUSH!’d between two walls of solid water.

He’s left sputtering and disoriented in the ocean. At least until some hooks hook down from the Quinjet, hook Wonder Man, and then hook him up into the ship.

I didn’t know that the Quinjet had hooks for grabbing people out of the ocean but I am thrilled.

Ideally, the Avengers would use their newfound ability to vaudeville hook people into orbit more often. I can think of so many instances where it would be useful, or at least hilarious.

Anyway, Wonder Man apprises the other Avengers into the situation.

Meanwhile, not dead Rachel Palmer wakes up and finds the Shadow Lord brood slouching in a chair and watching her while she was unconscious.

She is alarmed that he’s just sitting there staring but he basically goes ‘DON’T WORRY I READ YOUR MIND TO LEARN YOUR NAME AND LANGUAGE’ and then decides to explain his entire backstory.

Shadow Lord: “The city in which we stand is the Shadow Realm and I... I am called the Shadow Lord!”

DAMMIT I KNEW HE WAS A YUGIOH!

Anyway.

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO! Give or take! An ancient tribe decided to move to an island to isolate themselves from “primitive, superstitious neighbors who feared [their] more advanced society.”

Off to a good start with this guy.

Free of the mundane concerns of living in a world that hated and feared them, they were able to peacefully ALL BECOME WIZARDS WHO COULD CONTROL THE FORCES OF NATURE.

Maybe the X-Men are onto something.

So the Shadow Lord’s people learned to control, winds, waves, earth, and maybe fire so what I’m saying is that it was an entire island of Avatars.

Boom, sequel idea. Give me millions of dollars, Nickelodeon.

“Though veiled in mystery, rumors of our existence spread throughout the world. We were feared and shunned by the other peoples of the Earth -- which allowed us to continue our studies undisturbed.”

“Those who mistrusted anything they could not comprehend... they called us witches and sorcerers. Those who knew and understood us called us... the Earth Lords!”

“For centuries our sole purposes were to augment our knowledge of the Earth’s forces and to maintain the natural balance between these forces. Otherwise, we had no interest in the day-to-day affairs of the outside world.”

Maybe I was wrong about them being Yugioh. Maybe they’re the Time Lords from the Doctor Who.

Anyway, the Earth Lords were happy sitting on their island being Avatars but over the eons they sensed a disturbance in the Force, for I must reference all the things.

"Over the eons, we became aware of a seemingly immortal, human force of awesome destruction, one who could potentially plunge mankind into an irreversible slide to its doom.”

“Singlehandedly he could destroy towns. With an army beside him -- countries. Time and again, he did. It was when he finally joined the legions of Rome at the peak of the Empire’s power... that we first feared the balance of nature was in danger of being destroyed. Rome could forever take over the world.”

The Earth Lords tried on several occasions to destroy this menace. We don’t get to know what constituted these efforts and that’s disappointing because of what the final successful attempt was.

By 79 AD, they knew he was on the slopes of Mt. Vesuvius so they caused it to erupt, just to bury this one guy under hundreds of tons of rock and ash and lava.

Mission accomplished.

Except for the little thing where the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius also wiped out Pompeii and Herculaneum and other cities people know significantly less about, killing over 20,000 people.

As things go, that’s pretty dire amount of incidental deaths to kill one person. And the Earth Lords realize that this was a pretty major fuck up.

So they decided that they couldn’t be trusted with their powers and that they would disperse into the outside world to live and die as people do and have their powers dissipate over the years.

But before they did that, they discovered that the seemingly immortal guy they hit in the face with a volcano was somehow still alive somehow. Just trapped. Under hundreds of tons of rock and ash and lava that cooled into rock.

They killed thousands and didn’t even permanently kill the dude they were trying to kill? That’s pretty incompetent. They really can’t be trusted with their power.

Since he eventually might get out and resume being a dick, the Earth Lords drew lots and chose one of their number, the Some Guy later known as the Shadow Lord from the Shadow Realm, to forever watch over the city alone and await the day that the immortal guy would again walk the land.

And to help him solo the dude that took an entire city of people and a volcano to deal with, the Earth Lords concentrated all of their powers into this one Shadow Lord guy and taught him how to send himself and the city into a twilight plane of nothingness which is back to being called the Shadow World.

So this might also be Twilight Princess.

For two thousand years the Shadow Lord in the Shadow Realm in the Shadow World observed Earth and waited. And now, it seems that the seemingly immortal dude is back.

Rachel: “But I don’t understand. How can one man threaten a whole world -- and live for thousands of years in solid rock?”

Shadow Lord: “This is no mere man, my dear... this is the Berserker!”

And speak of the devil and we scene transition to him because we scene transition to Pompeii.

The lava mummified human figure that seemed to move before has stopped beating about with finger twitches and has gotten up to rampage around and backhand archeologists.

Don’t feel bad though. They were in it for the money and fame, those fiends.

Back at the city of Shadow Realm, the Avengers suddenly show up as a full team and basically enter swinging. Iron Man even blasts a wall for no reason.

Rachel tries to tell the Avengers that Shadow Lord means no harm but the Avengers can’t hear her over the sounds of Wonder Man loudly reassuring Rachel that they’re here to rescue her.

Iron Man exploding a wall for no reason probably also didn’t help.

So Rachel instead tries to tell Shadow Lord that the Avengers are a force for good. While he can hear her, he chooses to ignore her.

Using his powers of being the Avatar, he tries to pull a rocks fall but nobody dies. Rocks falling is something the Avengers deal with panache and also lasers and punches.

Some panache. Beast’s skycycle gets hit by a rock and he ends up leaping onto one of the spires of the city to avoid crash. And then, like a cat who climbs a tree except its a building in this context, Beast has a hard time figuring out how to get down from there.

While the larger Avengers punch and laser boulders and jump onto spires, Wasp just flies right in and shoots Shadow Lord in the eyebrow.

Amazing. Another good use of Wasp powers, being able to get in close while the opponent thinks the team is distracted at a distance.

Shadow Lord is none too pleased to be shot in the eyebrow by a tiny insect-sized flying woman and decides that a particularly karmic punishment is required.

Shadow Lord: “An insect-sized flyling woman! What sorcery is this? But if an insect you be, then it is only fitting I ensnare you in a cocoon of living wind... a cocoon which will grow and envelop your so-called fellow Avengers!”

And as Rachel still pleads with Shadow Lord to knock it off, he summons a giant tornado that suck in all of the Avengers (save Beast stuck up on his spire).

Shadow Lord even has the tornado carry him along, the better to continue mocking the Avengers as he carries them to their doom.

Shadow Lord: “You hopeless children! Did you actually think to defeat me, to deter me from my purpose? I who who command the earth and wind themselves to do my bidding?”

Yeah, dude. Definitely not sounding like a supervillain now. Cannot fathom why the Avengers are assuming you are one.

Iron Man manages to escape the tornado by firing his boot-jets at maximum, sending him flying free with a SHA-BOOSH! but also carrying him far away because momentum.

Shadow Lord then creates a whirlpool in the ocean and has his tornado carry the Avengers towards it. The whirlpool goes to the bottom of the ocean. Which then cracks open to reveal bubbling magma.

That’s right. The Shadow Lord is going to shoot them out of a tornado, into a whirlpool and into magma beneath the ocean floor.

Its. At least more precise than hitting them with a volcano, I’ll give him that. Definitely feels like overkill to go from rocks to tornado-whirlpool-magma execution but its definitely more precise.

Somewhat more precise.

Because when Iron Man manages to slow himself down to turn back he notices that a yacht is being swamped by the waves Shadow Lord is churning up.

And because of heroism, he takes the time to scoop the yacht out of the ocean and rest it safely on an island.

Geez. There’s a lot of boats being beached in this story.

Shadow Lord actually sees this. And a thought starts penetrating his thick skull that maybe he should have listened to Rachel.

Shadow Lord: “The armored one paused in his attack on me to save those people -- innocent people... which is more than we were able to do 2,000 years ago. Perhaps, as Rachel says, they are not agents of evil...”

He decides that he’ll stop throwing them out of a tornado into a whirlpool into magma but he doesn’t get the chance to put that train of thought on the tracks.

Beast waves Iron Man over. From his perch on the spire he’s noticed that the building he’s on is cracking from the strain of all the power Shadow Lord is throwing around even though he’s not been throwing it at that building.

So Beast deduces that the city is key to Shadow Lord’s power in some way and should have the shit beaten out of it.

And as Iron Man starts punching some wall, Shadow Lord doubles over in pain and the tornado he was about to dissipate dissipates.

The other Avengers get free and decide hey, follow the leader.

Jocasta: “The battle has truly just begun. Malevolent power such as this must not be allowed to exist. We must follow Iron Man’s lead and destroy the city -- totally!”

So unnoticed by the Avengers as they level the city into a pile of rubble, Shadow Lord staggers and swoons at Rachel’s feet.

But even dying, he still has some exposition bottled up.

To be fair, he’s been isolated for 2,000 years with no one to talk to.

He explains that the powers of an entire population of Avatars was way too great to be contained in one squishy mortal body so the powers were instead imbued in the city itself.

And with the city destroyed, it can no longer serve as a source of power and also can’t keep him alive anymore.

He’s honestly not too broken up over it. Since the Avengers are valiant and worthy, they can pick up his unfinished business while he goes and dies and gets to reunite with his girlfriend who died sometime during those 2,000 years.

Shadow Lord: “But please understand... I am as much to blame for today’s events as anyone... I bear you no malice... we misjudged each other. I have done my best... no more can be expected of a man... perhaps you will succeed... where I have failed. So do not mourn my passing... for me, death is but the long-awaited door that opens to my beloved... Ayshera.”

And the Avengers realize belatedly ‘we done goofed.’

“A sad -- and confused -- group of heroes grimly watches the passing of the Shadow Lord... and only then does the cruel truth reveal itself to them: what they had thought to be one of their greatest triumphs is instead... one of their most bitter defeats.”

Oh, and as I expect they’ll soon find out, the Berserker has been kicking the Italian army’s ass near Pompeii so that’s probably escalating into a bit of a situation and they just accidentally killed the guy who could have helped with that. Although in fairness, he deliberately ignored Rachel when she told him that the Avengers were heroes.

Like he said, he fucked up too.

Still, while its a bit of a Marvel tradition to have mighty misunderstanding fights, I don’t think they tend to result in people dying. One for the history books.

Next time: the Berserker.

Follow @essential-avengers​. Also like and reblog. And send me Avengers triumphs that are way more impressive than beating up a city.

[laffiteslanding]

If you were suddenly in charge of creative decision making for a Disneyland-style castle park, and could only bring over 10 classic attractions/previously used ones, and bolster it with ten new ones, what generally would they be? Accepting that it would have the usual breakdown of Frontier, Fantasy, Tomorrow, New Orleans Square/Liberty Square, etc.

Oooh, this is a good one!

For classics, I’m doing a mix of rides that are actual classics alongside ones that simply must be there for the place to feel like a true Disneyland experience.

- Jungle Cruise (Adventureland)

- it’s a small world (Fantasyland)

- Mark Twain Riverboat (St. Louis Square)

- Country Bear Jamboree (Frontierland)

- Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (Fantasyland)

- Snow White’s Scary Adventures (Fantasyland)

- Peoplemover (Tomorrowland)

- Space Mountain (Tomorrowland)

- 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (Tokyo version) (Adventureland)

- Disneyland Railroad (w/dioramas) (Whole Park)

New attractions are largely a mix of new E-tickets, old concepts that were never implemented, or rethemed versions of classics in new settings.

- Western River Expedition- the famous Marc Davis concept (Frontierland)

- Astro Manor - Haunted Mansion-like attraction that pays homage to old sci-if tropes and stories much in the way that Mansion does to ghost stories. Similar tonally to HM, and will be narrated via radio broadcast a la Orson Welles’ version of War of the Worlds. (Tomorrowland)

- Bandits of Goner’s Gulch - A new coaster attraction that will have you and a horse-riding posse of the sheriff’s finest chasing down bandits who’ve robbed the town bank. Effects include bullets whizzing by and jumps across canyons achieves using technology similar to that patented by Universal for their planned Donkey Kong Country ride. Ends with a successful capture and return to the town as heroes. (Frontierland)

- Fire Mountain - the planned volcano coaster/launch tower concept (Adventureland)

- Robin Hood traditional-style dark ride following the escapades of the famous fox. I’d like to make Fantasyland a more forested area in this iteration and this ride would suit that theme quite nicely (Fantasyland)

- Mary Poppins Caroussel - an outdoor attraction with the famous horses that galavant off the carousel and through the wood, running through some scenes from the Jolly Holiday sequence but also some very peaceful natural environments (Fantasyland)

- Flying Autopia - A combo of Peter Pan’s Flight and, well, Autopia, this outdoor ride will have guests boarding “flying” cars and soaring through and above a beautiful futuristic landscape that takes inspiration from Walt’s original EPCOT, as well as Horizons and other classic concepts that are given an updated, timeless design. Ride features overlap with Peoplemover and actually allows you to enter the streets of a much larger EPCOT-inspired diorama near the end. (Tomorrowland)

- The Forgotten Temple - A multi-level walkthrough attraction of a temple reclaimed by the jungle and cooled lava. Is thought to still contain some remnants of the once great civilization that lived here, as well as some of their treasure. Draws inspiration from Indy queue, Swiss Family Treehouse, and Tom Sawyer Island, as well as real expeditions. Lots of interactive elements and photo spots, maybe including character meet and greets? (Adventureland)

- Be Our Guest - An outdoor Beauty and the Beast ride similar to the Mad Tea Party but featuring a mix of cutlery, dining wares, and food. Guests will spin and move around to songs from the film. (Fantasyland)

- Wagons to the West - an anthology dark ride through the different pioneer themed shorts Disney has made over the years, each room featuring different tales and art styles such as Johnny Appleseed, Paul Bunyan, John Henry, Windwagon Smith and Pecos Bill. Wagons are trackless and will go through a different combination of stories each time, symbolizing different routes to the West and increasing reridability. Ride has a narrator that ties everything together. (St. Louis Square)