#wickedsrest

[thelivingdade]

What is it like being the hottest person in Wicked's Rest?

I've carried bigger burdens but I'll gladly accept this one too. For the people.

[fullofdisgrace]

@wickedsrest - billie abney

Unveiling the Texan Terrors - The Abney Family

December 21, 1964 By: John Davies

Law enforcement officials have finally released long-awaited details regarding the Abney Family, a familial crime-ring now-believed to have been the culprit of countless petty thefts, arsons, assaults, kidnappings, and murders across the Great State of Texas. Following an explosive shootout with authorities, tipped off by a member inside the family itself, the sheriff's office has now confirmed the safety of two young girls Billie (14) and Louisa (16) that were rescued two days ago from the backwater clan's property. Church officials say... "Church officials say," I mouthed the words, sneering as I took another gulp of Communion wine. "Blahblahfuckingblah." Church officials swooped in like the little vultures they are! Because of course they did! Starved for every, last scrap of good press amid the rising fear of Secularism and sexual revolution. Officially, the girls were being shepherded outside of Texas to mitigate interference from the Family. The reality was far less charitable. According to what I had been able to get from the Monsignor, they were struggling to locate a home willing to take in two filthy, godless, little shits.

Which is where we come in: Me, more than him. Briarcliff Home For Girls was just the place, I insisted, having been the place that saved a wretch like me, now one of the Church's most devout and holy vessels. With the help of all the sisters here, of course! And him most of all. Oh, please. The man's Vanity was even easier to appeal to than Mine. Anyway, since the day they'd come in, all straggly hair and wild-eyes... I knew they were just the thing to shake this place up, to introduce a little anarchy. Especially miss Wilma-Lynn. Billie, to her friends. But, we weren't on that basis yet. I didn't even introduce myself right away. I waited... for the day or two that it would take for her to get a ruler cracked across her knuckles for her back-sass. Then another, when they inevitably rucked up her skirt and caned her bloody, then drug her off... to the 'bad girl' room. Creeping in like a shadow, I tsked softly as the girl gripped at her thighs as she sat on the bed, attempting to keep the weight of her body from bearing down on the mattress... hands covered in the blood and puss that was still weeping from her skin. "You poor dear," I crooned, gentle and loving as I set down a basket of sweets beside her. And then, from under my vestments, an oil and some bandages. "For the pain," I explained, smiling. "The others would say it's Blasphemous, but this little bottle is a Miracle. One night with this, and, by tomorrow, you won't even know you've been caned." "Oh, goodness, where are my manners? I'm Sister Mary Eunice." And then, gentler, "I'll just leave these here for you now, and collect them before bed-check in the morning..." I took on the appearance of the Madonna now. Beautiful, fragile, and full of Sorrow. "I know what it's like, to be caned bloody, that is. Even now, if I've been particularly troublesome." I hung my head low, ringing my hands together as if reliving the rap of the ruler. Looking every bit the wounded, sweet sister I never was. "It's terrible here. They're terrible. But not you. Know that it's never you." A meaningful silence.

"Don't you let them kill it. It's such a beautiful spirit you have. I'd hate to see it gone."

[maskdrawn]

"No offense, but I don't know you well enough to go spilling secrets." She laughed, waving her off easily. "I mean, at least by me dinner first."

"oh yeah? s'the craziest thing you ever done? bet i got it beat."

[wickedsrest-rp]

Welcome to Wicked’s Rest! We’re excited to announce that our relaunch opening date is March 31st, 2023.

Currently, applications are closed until early March. Once we have that date set in stone, we’ll post an update!

As of today, we’ll be posting new lore, skeletons, and other content as we gear up toward our launch date. The plan is to post all of the playable species first, then some key lore, so that everyone can get a sense of the setting and what options are available for characters. We’ll then be posting a mix of skeletons, locations, and monsters. There’s a lot drafted, so expect to see multiple posts each day.  

Some of the content was revised from previous content, but we encourage everyone to read things over again anyway as every post has at least a couple of changes, and many have more than that. We really tried to make everything feel exciting and fresh, even when we wanted to use some of the same premise for certain things. If you have questions about anything that’s posted or are itching to see something specific, let us know! We’re happy to answer questions or even prioritize certain things being posted based on interest!

If you are interested in joining us, please come on by our Discord server and say hi. It’s a great place for any questions as well, though our ask box is open, too.  

We look forward to sharing more updates and shiny new content with you soon!

[t-errifier]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐓'𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄?

deep staining red

ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. It's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. it rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. And you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. atlas holding up the world, how are you? is your love still flowing? is your heart still open? still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? Still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink? because I see them, I read them, I love them and you, you, you, you. clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. Spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.

tagged by @savagecuhnt tagging @jgoldberg , @episomalvector , @revolutionary-jinx , @wickedsrest

[andtheylive]

gonna be on @wickedsrest for a little while!! i’ve followed almost everyone i follow on here, so if you see that url it’s me! i hope to see u all there!

[thenavysealkie]

Finally, more people to help clean up that dump! I wouldn't worry about the sludge, just make sure you're wearing gloves at all times. Honestly, there are probably worse things in that pile than the sludge anyway. Just don't bring anything too close to your face. Can't wait to start getting all of that mess cleared up!

Finally got my PC fixed! Is anyone else joining the trash clean-up crew for the Pile? Or is it already too late? I was thinking about joining it, but I'm a little concerned about being made to [...] pick up some of that strange black sludge I keep hearing about from the customers. It's not toxic, is it?

[narrativeobsession]

@wickedsrest // continued

Look, maybe he hadn't tripped into anything but a couple of guys' fists, but Billie doesn't need to know the whole story. The pair of friends who had been fucking with his brother looked a hell of a lot worse than he did. That's all that mattered to Violet.

He can't help that he towers over her, he towers over a lot of people. But he's not surprised when she asks him to sit, and he does, arms crossed primly over his chest.

"it's not that big of a deal. it probably looks worse than it is." And that may be true, wounds to the face tended to bleed a lot, but Violet still doesn't look great. His lip is split bad, his nose has only just stopped bleeding. There's a cut above his right eyebrow that is still bleeding-- one of the fuckers was wearing a damn ring.

[fatherxvincent]

(this is Vincent's reaction to that wallet @wickedsrest )

[black-vvolf]

@wickedsrest continued X

The answer she gave only elicited a look of deeper concern from Vincent.

“Well, I’m glad you’re not hurt…” he began carefully, letting his gaze drift down to the blood saturating her clothing.

“But if it’s not your blood…where’d it come from.”

[musingsofabird]

@letsbenditlikebennett Bird, this is frankly incorrect all around. First, the reason you're not welcome back is that, as a result of your actions and what we know, we and others are not comfortable interacting with you in a group setting. Practically, we cannot have players in the group who we can't mod, and don't want to welcome the kind of conflict this would bring to you OR others.

letsbenditlikebennett

Further, none of this difficulty we have with you has anything to do with the fact your dog died, but the fact you were considering bringing another puppy into the home when there had been a case of parvo there, a virus that can live for years and is frankly impossible to completely disinfect in a home where there are multiple types of fabric. You posted about this in a public Facebook group where multiple players, myself included, are members of and get the updates on

letsbenditlikebennett

their timeline for. The concern and discomfort is entirely based upon potentially exposing a puppy -- a second puppy -- who is not yet vaccinated for parvo to a disease that could be fatal. If you want to publicize everything, that is some very vital context to leave out. No one has ever faulted you for grieving the loss of your dog and to say otherwise is a blatant lie.

I am going to try and make this as cut and dry as possible however my emotions are running high so if it comes across as if I'm angry it's because, well, I am.

I used to belong to a group called @wickedsrest-rp​ During my time in that group I made what I believed to be close friends. I shared with them during that time a few things in this order:

1. In august 2022 I shared that I had bought a sick puppy on craigslist. Within a week of owning her despite veterinarians best efforts she passed away due to parvo. 

2. In September 2022 I shared I was the proud owner of an American Bulldog puppy I named Hooch.

3. Hooch passed away in December in 2022 due to what we believe to have been genetic issues/defects. 

The problem began after my puppy Hooch had passed away. After sharing the news in the group chat I was contacted not even a week later by one of the mods in Wickeds Rest. They informed that I would need to begin censoring any posts to do with my pets in the group. Why? I came to find it was because my privacy was grossly violated by another member of the group.

This group member used my puppy’s name, Hooch, in a facebook group where members can make posts to ask veterinarian’s questions about the health of their animal. 

Months ago back at the end of August before bringing Hooch home, I had made a post in this group about bringing another puppy home after having one with parvo. I got an answer; it can live on surfaces for years after and could potentially be unsafe despite deep cleaning. I want to be candid about that.

I chose to continue with bringing home my American Bulldog pup Hooch anyways after purchasing hospital-grade cleaner with which to disinfect our house. We cleaned top to bottom more than once before he came home. Did we miss some parts? Probably. But we did everything we could think of and he'd already had is first two sets of vaccines so we chose to bring him home. It is important to note that he never became sick with parvo. 

To find the above mentioned post here is what that member had to do:

Type in Hooch’s name into that facebook group

See what my name was

Search further under my personal name to find the months old post. 

This is NOT a post that would have just stumbled across someone’s timeline as it was MONTHS old. My privacy was severely violated. Yes I had shared my real first name in the group before (I go by Bird online) but never my last name. 

Understandably I was upset as even after explaining my side as I was still being what I believe to be essentially attacked on the issue. My issue of having my privacy violated by a group member was less concerning with the mods than what I was choosing to do in my personal life. 

Eventually it became too much and I left the discord server. Emotions were raw and I was extremely upset. 

Not long after I left abruptly I reached back out to the mod who had brought up this issue with me. I agreed that I would spoiler/censor anything regarding my pets and asked to come back, as this group had been my support system. I was told no, as -several members were now uncomfortable with my presence-. 

What does this mean? This means that the member who intiitally violated my privacy did so again by sharing the information they learned on facebook wih other members of the group.

I happen to know this happened in private messages and not on the group server as I do still talk to a few people from the group who have advised me that this issue has never come up as a topi of discussion in the group discord. 

So I am banned from coming back based on private drama-spreading messages that were not even in the group discord. 

I was told they would consider letting me back in at re-launch and so I decided to reapply at re-launch in spite of what had happened because this is a group that I loved and wanted to try and be civil to become a part of again. On my application, I even referenced remembering the rule they had set up for me and agreed to follow it without question. I was denied re-entrance due to others still being uncomfortable with my presence. 

There are several issues I have with this

1. The member who spread my personal information around and invaded my privacy received no consequences. They are still an active part of the group and are clearly being protected. This does not strike me as odd as they are a member of the core group clique - one that I should mention met up OOC on a vacation. 

2. I had agreed to let these issues lay. This is a relaunch with new people coming in so I thought I would have a fair shot at a neutral rp experience. Instead it is essentially being confirmed that the clique is stil at large and that the feelings of a select few are more important than being fair and impartial. 

These people can say they are protecting my comfort as well, but they are not. It is propaganda to make them seem believable. Acceptable. As if they have done nothing wrong. It may come as a surprise that this has happened to other members of the group over various different issues. All ostracized and attacked because once this clique at the core of the group no longer likes you: that’s it. You’re done. 

So no. I am not lying. I have been attacked here. Whether or not the mods feel that is the case does not diminish my personal feelings in the matter. I feel attacked. Because my dog passed away and someone decided they should get to be more upset about it than I was. We can see the lies in the simple replies they did and it is not at all surprising that they chose to do a reply instead of reblog. It’s more difficult for me to respond to them directly that way. 

I sincerely hope people take notice and stay away from this extremely toxic environment. I thought I was friends with these people. Talked to them everyday for almost a year. Gamed with them multiple times a week. Hopefully no one else has to experience this. 

Screenshots of my conversation with the mod back from December are under the read more.

Hey, Bird. I was just reaching out because we will not be accepting an application back for the group. As most of the mods and several members are not comfortable engaging with you after everything that went down before you left the server, we don’t think coming back is a good idea for anyone involved. We wish you the best of luck in finding another group.

Okay. I was hoping to avoid this as I didn’t actually do anything wrong.

I was attacked about the fact that my puppy had passed and was considering getting another pup to help grieve. Not even a full week after he had passed. I got understandably upset that someone had went through my personal information on a Facebook page and used and spread that information around to vilify me.

The ONLY thing that I did wrong was leave the server abruptly because I was understandably upset and feeling attacked. After which I apologized the next day because it had happened when my emotions were heightened. I was then denied coming back until relaunch so that things could cool down.

I plan on sharing what went down with everyone I can. What’s even more interesting was that after I left I had several people reach out to me who used to be in the group that had similar experiences with different topics.

I am disgust and appalled by this groups behavior. @wickedsrest-rp @wickedsrest-rp-ads

[forsakestar]

what color does your love feel like?

warm burnt orange

Riding off into the sunset, the hope of a happy ending, the bitter after taste that still in it's own way smells kinda great. Your love is all bitter hopefulness, all about a broken heart that refuses to quit, all about the unshakable knowledge that a burning fire has a great comforting warm and a soft glowing light, all about the way when the sun comes down there's a beautiful starry night.

It's stubbornness, it's the refusal to give up, the clutching of broken shards despite the searing pain and being adamant that dammit you can still make a beautiful stained glass window out of it. Yours is a screaming heart, a pleading love, a bitter and almost belligerent hopefulness that things will still work out even if you have to roll up your sleeves and make them.

And god, aren't you tired? Isn't your heart heavy? Is all your hard work worth it? Don't you just want to curl up and let it be? Let the fire turn to ashes and the sky turn dark and let love die down and watch people leave? But you don't, do you? You're the bravest out of all of us, so you pick up the pieces and you keep going, you keep believing and you keep your heart full of hope because some day. Some day you know you'll get it. You keep riding off into the sunset and you keep filling my heart with hope as you go because god, how do I wish you finally get it too.

tagged by: @wickedsrest <3 tagging: @faithstar , @godmona, & anyone else that wants to do this! tag me so I can see if you want <3

[testingwic1234]

SECOND TEST

[bexwrites]

Are you in any tumblr rps? Do you have any you recommend?

I am! Currently @wickedsrest-rp owns my heart and soul, and I'd definitely recommend it! It's a very fun group of people with a lot of really neat lore to play around with.

[nocityfolk]

jesse's been there. childhood years threaded into songs & becoming soundtracks to a youth he sometimes wishes he couldn't recall. ‘‘that actually sounds real sweet, y'know,’’ he replies, an honest quality to the words. ‘‘don't suppose you got a favourite out of those men singing, playing their guitars?’’

as barking as her question may seem, there's no bite behind it. she shakes her head and brings her cigarette to her lips again. "nah," she confesses with a cloud of smoke — careless as to what direction it drifts in. "but we got a radio when i was a girl an' we'd listen't songs where men'd sing an' play their guitars ... it was nice."

[wickedmilo]

Update: Following this post, it seems the mods of wickedsrest-rp have abandoned the original main, and are using a new password protected blog for what they claim to be ‘security reasons.’ Though I can’t predict any new names, or urls they will decide to use for the scheduled reboot, you will still be able to recognise the names of the mods listed in this post. I will post the new group name as soon as I know it. Please keep this mind when applying for any new groups come the end of March.

The new group was originally set to open on the 11th of February 2023. The opening date has now been pushed to the end of March. The mods state there has been a lot of interest in the reboot, and though I’m not entirely convinced that is true, I want to remind everybody who may have seen this post that it serves as a reminder of the toxic environment harboured by the mods, and the players who will all very much be a part of the reboot. Take my experiences as a lesson and find somewhere more wholesome, and supportive, to invest your time in.

This is going to be a long post, but I really hope a few of the accounts still following Milo, and anybody who might be looking for a new group to join can take the time to sit down and read it. To those of you still in wickedsrest-rp, you know how much I loved the group, you know how much I loved my character, and how much time I dedicated to this particular hobby. The mods never had any issues with me, I never set out to cause any trouble, and I thoroughly enjoyed the year and 4 months I spent as an active member there. I really don’t need to tell you that, I actually consider most of you friends. That being said, you also know things went downhill very quickly. What you probably aren’t aware of, unless you’re incredibly astute, is the fact that the mods haven’t been entirely honest about why. The members of wickedsrest-rp deserve the truth. If you are still a member of the group then I want to show you who you are really writing with, I want to show you how the mods are ready to turn on somebody when they feel as though their dictatorship-like authority has been threatened.

If you’re seeing this in the tags while searching for a group to join, hopefully this will serve as a warning, and can save you the pain of joining wickedsrest-rp. The sad reality is, your writing isn’t safe there, and no matter how comfortable you are, neither is your place as a player. Since being removed from the group, three separate people have come forward to tell me about the similar experiences they have suffered, and offer me support that I was desperately in need of. A couple of them left while I was still in the group, and thanks to the mods quietly sweeping any issues under the rug, I genuinely believed they had chosen to leave due to personal, and amicable reasons. Others left under more questionable circumstances, but the environment created by the mods encouraged people to keep their heads down, and continue as though nothing unusual could possibly be happening under the surface. This serves as a clever way of ensuring the group continues to listen to the mods. Of course nobody is going to question them, or lose respect for them when, on the surface, everybody appears happy, and content. There is a lot of gaslighting, and manipulation happening to keep up this toxic, and unhealthy charade. Something I am finally able to see. 

The purpose of this post is to share the truth about the way the group is run, but unfortunately the name of this group has changed more than once, and I can’t promise the pending reboot won’t be followed by a change in url. If this happens I will do my best to update this post, so that anybody previously unaware of wickedsrest-rp can successfully maintain their distance. But in case I am unable to, I am going to list the names of the current mods, alongside previous names that the group has been known by. If anybody reading this has had negative experiences with any one of the previous incarnations, this is your opportunity to tell your story. I urge you to reblog this, and share your own experience. Not only is it cathartic, there are so many of us, and the more people who come forward, the more this will be taken seriously. We can help to ensure nobody else has to go through what we did.  

Current mods: Elliott, Casey, Liz, and Hannah

Previous versions of wickedsrest-rp include: 

Into Each Generation, a Buffy RP also known as IEG

Save This City, a Batfamily RP also known as STC

Touch of Strange, the first version of what would become Wicked’s Rest, also known as TOS 

Wicked’s Rest, also known as White Crest

A new, and currently unnamed version of Wicked’s Rest, due to open on the 13th of January 2023

It has reached the point now where I don’t care about discretion. I’m going to be honest about what actually happened, and encourage current players to see that, no matter how scary it is to lose a group, no matter how terrifying it is to drop all of your work, and so much of the time spent developing connections, wickedsrest-rp and its mods don’t care about you. Regardless of how they make you feel, they don’t respect you, and if they decide they no longer like you as a player, they will reach for a reason to remove you without any concern for your wellbeing. Please don’t give them the power to continue with this level of toxicity. They can only sustain this behaviour with your support. The group is steadily on a decline, I don’t believe it will last more than a couple of months come January, but those are months of your time that these mods haven’t earned. As painful as it is, please learn from my own mistakes. Let the group go. It will be less painful on your terms than on theirs. 

Below is a breakdown of the way I was treated. Screenshots will be provided throughout, but a full compilation can be found by following this link to a google drive, where they have been clearly labelled, and organised in chronological order.

Recently, due to issues in real life, my mental health has been in a terrible place. RP has always been a comfort to me. At the time of being removed from wickedrest-rp, I had been relying on it to help get me by. I'm generally a creature of habit, and really struggle with change, especially when said change is outside of my control. This is only exacerbated when I am struggling with anxiety and depression. But upon the mods of wickedrest-rp making an announcement telling the group they were going to reboot the entire plot and setting, I was genuinely willing to get on board. It was difficult to process, but I understood the need to refresh the environment. If that was the only announcement, I would have been able to move on, and maybe even reach a place where I was excited about the proposed changes, but there was one rule in particular that worried me the moment I read it. It stated each character kept throughout the reboot could only choose 2 established connections to keep. Though, at first, the choice of words made it sound like it wasn’t a rule that was going to be strictly enforced, as I continued to read on I was given distinctly the opposite impression.

This majorly triggered my anxiety because E, M, and V (three characters within wickedsrest-rp whose names have been redacted) were all integral parts of who Milo (my own character) had become over the course of his time in the group. I spoke to the muns of M, and V who both confirmed they would like to keep Milo as a connection. And given the close relationship between Milo and E, despite not immediately speaking to E’s mun, it became clear I could be facing a difficult choice. If E’s mun decided they would like to keep Milo, even if I cooperated to the best of my ability, and tried to embrace the sudden changes (something I was all too willing to do) I would be forced to choose 1 important connection to essentially abandon. 

I already knew from speaking to V’s mun that they were also deeply upset by the rule, and I began to spiral, unable to do anything but panic over the possibility of having to choose between M, E, and V. Anybody who has written in a group setting before can understand the anxiety inducing nature of such an uncertain, and unpredictable situation. The reboot was a handful of months away, and the muns of these characters might eventually choose to leave or drop Milo as a connection, but I felt desperate for some reassurance that if, emphasis on if, when the reboot arrived and all 3 muns wanted to keep their connection to Milo (while I mutually wanted to keep Milo’s connection to their 3 characters) keeping 3 connections could be an option for us all. I was very aware it might not come to that, and I was more than happy to support anybody hoping to drop their muse, or reboot them, I even stated this on multiple occasions, correcting the mods each time they intentionally misunderstood me as you can see in the screenshots below…

What I couldn’t understand, and what I was devastatingly upset by, was the thought of 2 people hoping to keep their connection and not being allowed to if their ‘2 connection quota’ was already up. They would be forced to re-write their characters meeting, and rebuild the already established connection from scratch, with absolutely no justifiable reason. The admins kept insisting it was to create a welcoming environment for new writers, but it felt like that would be at the expense of the writers who had been in the group for long periods of time. I also couldn’t see how 3 connections instead of 2 would make new players feel unwelcome when the rest of the group would be following the 2 connection rule. The mods were trying to tell me 1 additional connection would discourage new players. I had been in the group for nearly a year and a half, and an exception for an additional connection wouldn’t be made by the mods, even just to reassure me, and the other muns involved. As you will see in the screenshots below, I was told they didn’t want to set a precedent for exceptions, but I was also told nobody else in the group even wanted one. What is that if not an entirely pointless abuse of power?

A mun I was talking to about the unfairness of this rule reached out to a mod in a bid to explain they were upset by it. The mod brushed them off, and eventually this person felt if they continued to talk openly about their concerns their place in the group would be in jeopardy. They understandably chose to admit defeat. This particular mun was manipulated into silence. Though I do have proof of this, and full knowledge of the interaction, I don’t want to be responsible for this mun being removed from the group, and it isn’t my story to tell, so unfortunately I cannot provide these screenshots. Not long after this, I saw the mods do the same to another player when they reached out to voice some concerns. Myself, and this mun had been discussing the fact that the next 5 months of writing could arguably be considered worthless, and that it would be difficult to find muse, or the inspiration to form new connections knowing they were going to be erased when the reboot came. Because we both had similar questions surrounding this subject, they agreed to message the mods, passing along the response to me so that I could see what was said about the issue. I witnessed the mods brush them off too, and show a complete disregard for their unease. When this person suggested a poll to see whether players genuinely wanted such a large overhaul of the group, a suggestion the mun and I had discussed together, the mods told them the change would be happening no matter what, and though they didn’t explicitly state it would be happening regardless of whether players wanted it, they made it very clear they were not interested in making changes based on the views of their players. Their wording was careful to imply the mun was being listened to but at the same time they were writing off every concern that was raised without offering any genuine solutions.

While this was happening I was talking to people who had raised their concerns with the mod team, and been brushed off, or essentially told how they should feel. The mods themselves told me on more than one occasion that I should be excited rather than upset. They were actively encouraging anybody with worries, concerns, or issues to message them privately so that they could pressure, or manipulate them into silence. This was only giving the false impression nobody was upset, or anxious. I knew already, from speaking to my fellow members, that a lot of people had been seriously affected by the announcement. At least 2 people I considered friends went on hiatus immediately after the announcement to try and deal with the stress, and anxiety it caused them. I started to realise the mods were specifically asking people to come to them in private because their goal was to stop them from voicing their concerns to other players. This allowed them to maintain the illusion of every single player being excited for the reboot. Everything began to fall into place, and so I decided to ask the questions I had publicly, thinking even if other people didn’t come forward, at least my fellow players would see proof that not everybody was happy about the rules of the reboot. I wanted to make sure players knew there were members of the group who were upset. It also (I ridiculously thought) guaranteed I personally wouldn’t be brushed off, and my questions would not only be considered, but discussed, and answered openly in front of everyone.

I was admittedly worried that speaking out publicly in disagreement with the mods, no matter how polite I was, would put my place in the group at risk, something I really shouldn’t have needed to worry about. It goes without saying that in a group run by fair mods there wouldn’t be any consequence to open, and respectful discourse surrounding such a monumental change. But I was more worried about my potential future need for 3 connections, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop feeling anxious about it so I knew this was my only course of action. At one of my lowest moments, my friend who owns the coffee shop next door to where I live asked me if I was okay while I was picking up a coffee. Not only was I uncharacteristically quiet, for the first time ever I was visiting in my pyjamas, having deeply struggled to find the motivation to crawl out of bed, and dress myself. I burst into tears in the middle of her store. That’s how much this uncertainty was affecting me in my everyday life. Work was a pleasant distraction because I am lucky enough to love my job, but when I was given time to think, I was reminded of the fact that the hobby I leaned on as a mental crutch, the one thing keeping me sane through such a difficult time, was being ripped away from me, and the mods weren’t interested in listening to anyone who tried to explain how negatively the changes were affecting them.

This is why I steeled my resolve, and stubbornly pressed for an answer as to whether a 3 connection exception could be made if it ever became necessary. I did what I could to articulately explain my arguments. It was difficult due to my emotional instability, but looking back over the screenshots of the public conversation I believe I was polite and respectful. Fully aware that tone can often be misread in text, I even made a point of continually re enforcing the fact that I wasn’t angry, or intending to be impolite. I was trying to communicate to the best of my ability. Though, towards the end of the conversation, after so much confusion, and frustration surrounding being intentionally misunderstood by not only the mods, but muns scared of losing their favour with the mods, and subsequently their place in the group, who had been showing blind support, and being rude with me despite a lack of provocation, I will admit I was eventually rude in return. I made a short comment and deleted it minutes after posting. I then apologised for being rude despite the mods being rude to me first, and despite my attitude stemming from being ignored/deliberately misunderstood. 

The thing that I find the most upsetting, and part of what drove me to such a point, is the fact that I was being told different things by different mods. On more than one occasion it was heavily implied or even outright stated that exceptions could be made if we discussed them closer to the reboot. Each time I received one of these responses I felt an overwhelming rush of relief. Genuinely that reassurance was all I was hoping for, but it seemed each time I was reassured, it was then stated no exceptions would be made, regardless of when, or whether they were ever discussed. This constant up and down throughout the conversation only made it more difficult for me to stay calm. You can see just how many times the mods managed to contradict themselves in the screenshots posted below.

I stated multiple times, with emphasis, that I was willing to embrace the reboot. In fact, I wanted to keep all of Milo’s connections, so you could argue requesting 3 connections instead of only 2 was a very big compromise on my part, and proof that I was willing to work alongside the proposed changes to the group. Forgetting the fact that I was upset, and frustrated by the lack of respect being shown to the loyal players who would be losing a lot of writing/development, my anxiety over potentially having to lose 1 of 3 integral connections had started to cause me frequent anxiety attacks. There were at least 3 days leading up to being removed where the stress of the situation managed to bring me to tears. I couldn’t figure out a way to relax, especially following the public discussion, so I decided to private message a mod named Elliott. They were notorious among players for disregarding other people’s feelings, taking advantage of their power as a mod, and making selfish decisions within the group, however they were someone I had written a ship with, and who I genuinely felt understood by. When we had spoken in the past about situations I found difficult (Elliott decided to kill/retire Milo’s boyfriend which I struggled with despite encouraging them to take the character in any direction they felt inspired to) I thought I had been listened to, and understood. In the screenshot below you’ll see how this was maliciously thrown back at me so clearly I wasn’t understood, and Elliott didn’t respect my honesty, or the (what appeared to be at the time) healthy dialogue that followed it. 

Despite seeing how Elliott had treated other players who had spoken to them, I was somewhat naively hoping with more people coming forward, they might begin to see how big the issue really was, and how many players were feeling hurt/betrayed. But Elliott brushed me off in the same way they brushed off other players, intentionally misunderstanding me like the mods had in the public chat. I could see all of the mods were deliberately misreading my messages, misunderstanding me in an attempt to make me look far less reasonable than I was being, but I did my best to continue being polite with them. They were cold, and calculating, and I could see what they were doing, I could also see that it was working, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I allowed them to frustrate me, and rile me up into a state of abrasiveness, something I’m sure they were hoping to do so that they could accuse me of being toxic. But I refused to let them manipulate me into passive silence. 

It was around this point that I knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable staying in wickedsrest-rp. After being treated so badly, and realising how little the mods actually cared about me, it was already becoming a stifling, and uncomfortable environment. But like everybody else who was upset, I was torn. A year and 4 months of writing is an awful lot of development to throw away, and I genuinely enjoyed the group up until this complication. I had so many incredible plots I was working through, and for a long time wickedsrest-rp had been my safe space. If I lost that, I had no crutch, and finding long lasting groups isn’t always easy. That being said, I was hurt, angry, and betrayed, and so I stopped using my filter. I know I was rude, and I fully admit that, I’m taking responsibility for my part in this. But it’s important to note that I was only ever rude in response to feeling ignored, or disregarded. It could be argued I overstepped Elliott’s boundaries by replying to our private messages after they expressed a wish to step away, but I believe it’s far more nuanced than that, and you will see why in the screenshots below. 

The first time they asked to step away, I, albeit impolitely, responded. But in this response of mine I ended the conversation specifically due to Elliott asking to step away. Elliott was then the one to continue the discussion, and I cannot stress that enough. The second time they expressed a wish to step away, I replied to their final message exclusively in response to the arguments they had made before their request to end our interaction. I said what I needed to then stopped replying, and despite being blunt about it because of how emotional I was, I stated it was to respect Elliott's need for space. That means on both occasions Elliott asked for the conversation to end, I actively made an attempt to honour their wish, and officially close the discussion. To me, this feels like the opposite of not respecting boundaries.

Had I continued to message, or harass them, had I outright ignored their request, then I would understand the accusation of not respecting boundaries. It isn’t fair to treat this as such a black and white disregard for Elliott’s wellbeing, especially when my own wellbeing was blatantly being ignored which you are able to see evidence of in the main folder of these screenshots. I cared about them. I cared enough to acknowledge their request, in spite of how angry, and hurt I was. I made an active effort which is more than I can say for Elliott.

Almost immediately after the end of the conversation I was kicked from the group. I woke up from a nap to find the admins had removed me. They had then, almost comically, made a statement to the group claiming I wasn’t kicked because I disagreed with them on the connection rule, but because I disrespected somebody’s boundaries in a private message the group would never be able to see. Another clever way of trying to maintain the lie, to pretend everybody in the group was happy, and that the mods were only ever being respectful, and fair. I literally tried to end my conversation with Elliott twice because I was attempting to respect their boundaries. I’m not claiming to have done this well, but I genuinely made an attempt. Other people have done worse and not been asked to leave the group. As far as I’m concerned, the fact that the mods even felt the need to make such a ridiculous statement shows how obvious it is that I was removed because I had the audacity to ask for an exception to a ridiculous rule. 

They were nervous people might start to see through the cracks, see how controlling, and manipulative they actually are. No doubt the fear of speaking out against their authority has only grown in strength since I was removed, which means they have been successful in their goal. After a year and 4 months of no issues, after writing a ship with Elliot for months, they didn’t think to send me a warning, or a strike, or talk to me about the fact that they felt I had disrespected their boundaries. The mods removed me with no concern over why I was upset enough to send emotionally charged messages in the first place.

In the leaving message they sent me to explain why they were removing me from wickedsrest-rp, they stated reasons that were vastly different from the ones they offered to the group. Reasons that were blatantly not true, and very easy to disprove, such as ‘you are not willing to compromise, you are pressuring people into keeping their characters the same’. I’m going to re share a screenshot from the beginning of this post before sharing the message they sent me, so that you can blatantly see their contradictions. It would almost be laughable if it hadn’t caused me so much anxiety. 

Obviously, some of the reasons listed are more complex, based on the emotional responses of people I had spoken to, but some are outright dishonest, and you only have to read the conversations to see they aren't truthful statements. In the post addressed to the group the mods claimed I wasn’t removed due to their perceived notion of me being against the reboot. And yet in the messages sent to me they claimed I was being removed not just because I ‘disrespected boundaries’ but specifically because I was not being ‘open minded’ about the reboot. This is despite the fact that I never had any issues with the reboot, and made that clear on more than one occasion. My issue was with an unnecessary, and unfair rule the reboot would come alongside. The whole situation has been incredibly hurtful. The fact that other people felt the same way as I did but remained passive is also infuriating because it has allowed the mods to pretend private complaints aren’t happening, and insist everybody is showing positive responses to the announcement. 

Elliott lied to me about the people approaching them feeling satisfied, and excited after voicing their concerns, despite two people sending me screenshots of them messaging the mods in an attempt to explain how upset they were, messages Elliott themself had actually responded to. These players were essentially ignored by the very people telling them to reach out, and they were anything but comforted by the treatment they received. If anything, they felt gaslit, and manipulated into backing down.

It’s an awful way to treat people, especially considering people rp for fun, and grow attached to their characters. This group was my mental health crutch, and I really, really needed it. My safe space, and my comfort character have been stolen from me by people who are supposed to support, and encourage their players. It’s a HOBBY. I know players have spoken to the mods before about the rigid, and unempathetic way they choose to run their group. It feels strict, and uncomfortable, like a job where you are micro-managed by your ‘superiors’ and fired by them if they find any kind of personal motive to remove of you. Anybody who dares to question them or disagree with them has been removed either quietly, or under false pretences. 

I also find it interesting the mods used the fact that they were willing to reboot their own muses as a way of justifying their players being forced to do so. They clearly have no understanding of how different it is to choose that path, and have it forced upon you. It’s important to note the passive aggressive smiley in the screenshot posted below. The mods (Casey in particular) were the first to become rude with me during the public discussion, the frustration from this fact played a big role in how emotional I was when speaking to Elliott.

Everything about this situation shows just how out of touch they are with being a player in a long lasting group. It’s a heart-breaking position to be in, and I feel so justified in my anger. I know people who have been a part of their reboots in the past. They have told me with confidence that every previous reboot has been met with the same anger, and frustration, inevitably leading to people leaving the group, yet the mods ignore any complaints, and publicly claim the reboots are successful for the selfish motivations of rebooting their own characters, rewriting the lore/setting around what they want to change, primarily for their own gain. I guess they see their players as collateral damage. 

The worst part of this entire mess is that they could do all of these things while allowing people to make their own choices for their own characters, there is no reason at all for them to ignore their players, and not find ways to make these changes comfortable for everyone involved. After being removed, I was incredibly upset. I posted a public message on Milo’s account about how my experience with the mods had been terrible. I also sent an emotional ask (screenshots provided in the google drive because I’m genuinely not trying to pretend I didn’t have a strong reaction to being removed) making it clear to the mods that a lot of the group were angry, and upset with them. I was desperate for them to know people were too scared of them to come forward, and the treatment I received was exactly why. Recently I messaged them from a separate account (Milo’s account having been blocked by wickedsrest-rp) in the hopes of getting further clarification as to why I was removed. Part of me was genuinely hoping to have a serious conversation with them about everything that had taken place. 

I’ve been in a really dark place without being able to write Milo, and I was debating for a short while whether I might be open to re-joining the group if the opportunity ever presented itself. If writing in wickedsrest-rp allowed me that desperately needed respite from my mental health then maybe I could keep my head down and try to forget about the way that I had been treated. I know at least 2 people who have told me they would leave if they didn’t believe their mental health would suffer without the crutch of writing there. And I can genuinely understand that position. But part of me also knew, even if they didn’t want to openly discuss what had taken place, any dismissive, or rude messages would further add to my proof of their mistreatment. I was stupidly too anxious to remember to screenshot the ask I sent, but in it I apologised (profusely) for my behaviour, and requested a group message including all of the mods. I knew if I didn’t take responsibility, and lay it on thick, I had no hope of ever being contacted, so I did everything to appear sincere, and appeal to their overinflated egos. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what might have been achieved if they did decide to answer me, but it would have been interesting to see whether they doubled down on their dishonesty. I’ll never know how they would have handled further discourse, because instead of recognising my ask was overwhelmingly reasonable, and polite, and nothing about my behaviour was extreme enough to warrant outright ignoring me, they blocked the account I used to send the ask. They refuse to speak to me, and so I’ve become another mistreated player, another person they cast aside, and attempted (emphasis on attempted) to silence. 

But I won’t let them pretend they run a group of happy players. I won’t let them pretend they have treated me fairly and that I was removed due to ‘disrespecting boundaries’ rather than disagreeing publicly with an unreasonable rule. I will not let them sweep me aside so that they can continue the pretence of being well liked by their players. A lot of their group, and I know this because people have actively confided in me, are too scared to leave because they will have nowhere else to go. They are too scared to abandon such long, and complexly developed pieces of writing. So much so, that I know for a fact at least one person in the group was removed by them before without a fair, or justifiable reason, and said person was so desperate for a place to write that they re-joined under an alias despite how horrifically they had been treated. I refuse to do that. I won’t give these mods the satisfaction of supporting them again, and I’m not going to let them treat me like this without making it known to the community. If you’ve made it this far, I’m genuinely impressed. I sincerely thank you for hearing me out.  Hopefully you’ll appreciate this story, and consider leaving the group to find somewhere better, somewhere that appreciates you. Or you’ll avoid the group when it re opens for applications, and recognise the fact that, whoever you are, and whoever your character is, wickedsrest-rp doesn’t deserve you. 

Rest assured, it definitely doesn’t deserve me.