#whyyyyy can’t I just get over myself

[crookedwolf1974]

I feel like I should be posting more snippets of strollonso fics or ideas and stuff that I have but my chronic fear of being perceived in a way I cannot control hmmmm holds me back me thinks….so my terrible little ideas and deranged thoughts and nsfw ideas and snippets and fics in general I leave behind in my little hole as I crawl out to pretend I am a normal member of the f1 rpf society

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Five

“Robs!” Steve shouts through the apartment, toeing his shoes off at the door.

“Kitchen!”

Steve heads through, and he can’t help but notice something looks kind of off. It looks different in here but he can’t quite put his finger on it, “Robs, did you do something to your apartment?”

“Yeah, I cleaned it.”

“Oooh. Yeah,” Steve looks back through the kitchen doorway, “yeah, that’s what’s different.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, bitch.”

“Fuckface.”

Steve frowns, there’s a cookbook propped open and actual like, fresh ingredients on the chopping board, “what are you doing?”

“Is that a rhetorical question because-”

“Robs, I have literally never seen you cook anything more complicated than eggs and toaster waffles, what is this,” Steve goes over to be nosy, “chicken satay skewers and bang bang cauliflower- what the actual fuck. I didn’t even know you knew what recipe books were.”

“Fuck off. And it’s for Chrissy, she said it’s her favorite-”

“Oh my god. I’m dead. I’m dead aren’t I. I got into a crash on the way-”

“Steve.”

“Alternate dimension-”

“Jesus Christ-”

“Abducted by aliens?”

“Steve, I can cook a nice meal for my girlfriend, alright, it’s not, like, illegal-”

“Your what?!”

She stops and actually turns to look at him, she’s wearing her absolute dead serious face, “Steve. I like her. A lot.”

“So now you’re what, fucking pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen-”

“Steve! Look. She’s clever. She’s funny. She’s kind. She calls me out on my bullshit and she is extremely hot doing it. She plays volleyball Steve. Volleyball. Have you ever seen girls play volleyball? Not only is it insanely aggressive but the shorts are so tiny they’re on the verge of disappearing up her crack and it’s socially acceptable for me to go out and watch that Steve.”

“Yeah but- you don’t have to like, date her to get all of that-”

“I do. I do Steve. Because I want to. We can’t just do,” she gestures vaguely, “this for our entire lives.”

“But whyyyyy?” Steve whines.

“Because we have to grow up at some point.”

“Yeah but...now?” Steve knows he’s pouting.

“Good a time as any, anyway, aren’t you literally about to go to dinner at Eddie’s uncles place? Literally the only notable family member that he has? His only parental figure and therefore the most important person in his life-”

“You can stop now.”

“I’m just saying that sounds kind of serious-”

“I will throw myself off the roof to get out of this dinner. Don’t test me.”

Robin completely ignores him, “I’ve seen how Eddie looks at you,” Steve scoffs, rolling his eyes, “Steve, that boy looks at you like he’d crawl a mile over broken glass to sniff your farts. Could you just like, appreciate that about him for thirty god damn seconds.”

Steve has a range of acceptable beer. He has picked up a six pack of something from uncomfortably near the bottom of that range. He takes a deep breath as he grabs it off the passenger seat.

Steve’s pretty sure he’s never been inside a trailer once in his damned life, and he has absolutely no idea what to expect. From the outside it looks...cramped. Steve’s certain his entire bedroom is bigger than this whole place.

Steve prepares himself to be polite about whatever he’s about to walk into.

Eddie fucking lights up when he opens the door, it makes Steve skin itchy while simultaneously something flaps about in his stomach, “oh wow, you bought the good beer!” Eddie looks thrilled as he takes it to put in the fridge.

Which he makes it to in about four steps because the kitchen is like, right there. And Steve’s taken one step in through the door and he’s already in the middle of the lounge, which is, efficient, he guesses.

“Here, come sit at the table, Wayne’s about done with dinner.”

“Errr...thanks.” Eddie indicates a place at a cramped little built in breakfast nook type thing, and Steve slides in just as Wayne appears from down the hall.

It was fucking awkward getting in, it’s even more awkward getting straight back out again so he can shake Wayne’s hand, “good to see you again Sir.”

Steve gets a firm handshake, and then not two minutes later he’s eating the first bite of what might be the best thing he’s ever put in his mouth. Wayne Muson makes a pot roast that should win a Michelin Star. Who could have fucking predicted that.

[cloversart365]

whyyyyy

so something I’ve been making for months, before I even got on Tumblr, was a Minecraft manhunt comic series, and I just finished the whole comic before this Dream drama, and I feel like now I’ve wasted so much time to make something that might not even see the light of day-

should I post it as just the characters?? Because I’m gonna be honest, I still love the MCYT community with all my heart, but just seeing my childhood go up in flames is breaking the kid in me. So like, should I just post it to get it over with? Throw it out? Keep it to myself? I really can’t make a decision right now.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean… 

So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.

So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in. 

And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭

You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents. 

IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR. 

Like whyyyyy.

Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”

Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.

And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 

So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too. 

Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries. 

I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying. 

I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time. 

But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again. 

I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother. 

Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE” 

Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed. 

“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”

 This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭

“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic. 

“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”

Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.

I’m so tired. 

Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3

Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...

I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.

It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3

I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.

Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!

[small-doodle-ist]

Sometimes I think about the fact that I totally COULD do like ~ spicy fanart and have real fun with it or do other actual good art. Or at least decent stuff id be proud of. I totally could because there are a few things I managed to do over the years that show me I HAVE the ability. But I am simply so stressed and exhausted with existence ever since I started studying that I just don’t have the energy for that. Good thing is I have my masters degree now and im officially done and out of uni. But trying to find a job is super duper exhausting and scary for my socially anxious ass as well! Who would have thought! So now - when I actually would have time - compared when I hopefully do find a job and have no more free time much - I can’t do art because I spend all my days procrastinating applying to places (I did apply already but going on keeps being scary as hell).

I don’t know why I post this lol, it’s not like anyone reads this stuff here 😂 but I feel like I have to say it. Somewhere where people will maybe understand. Or have the same struggle. I know it’s actually not that uncommon to be so exhausted by these tasks. Really, social anxiety is such a bitch. Like I don’t even have problems with normal social interaction, it just comes up with carrier and academia and paralyzes me with fear out of the blue. Thanks dad. You gave me so many tools for life! To fail at all the basic tasks! While constantly feeling like crying and puking for months. So cool. Raised me really good yes yes I’m so well behaved (paralyzed by fear).

Sorry for the rant I’m just so sad and angry that I can’t seem to get a hold of my life. I just want to have a stable life consisting of a small flat, a job and some friends. Why is it so hard for me? Like I want to work at that one hospital lab but I’m soooo scared of the job interview? And I am scared that they will call instead of mail and I’ll be stupid on the phone because if someone calls me who is authority I suddenly forget how talking works.

And I tell myself, and I KNOW, it doenst really matter? I’m gonna fail the first few interviews anyway. And I don’t care, I’ll learn, and get better at it. This is what my brain thinks. Because in reality, after whatever event I f up, I usually don’t really care for longer than a day. I tell people, laugh at myself, done. And yet, beforehand, I need to panick for weeks and months. Whyyyyy. It’s just not fair I want this to be gone! I swear, I’m sooo competent and hard working and all that. I just f up small talk. God, why is this irrelevant shit always the most important thing for them. Like ohhh tHe FiRsT iMprEsSiOn! sELL yOuRSeLf! SaY tHe RiGhT ThiNgS! ??? Fu! I can’t even say the right things to the cashier when I buy groceries (although here I don’t have a care in the world) but how am I supposed to manage it in such an important situation!!!

Ah sorry again. Rant.

PS: if anyone reads this and related. Please let me know. You would make me feel like … 1000% better.

[sungbeam]

BESTIE BAEEEEEEEEE

I’m back 🤭🤭🤭

Tbh its been a rough few weeks 💀 ALSO HELP HOW COME EVERY TIME I DISAPPEAR YOU WHIP OUT SO MANY SCRUMPDILIUMPTIOUS FICS LIKE??? Not that I’m complaining tho 😋😋

Firstly, Occupied… hmmm mhmnn yeahh lemme just say that your impulsive thoughts are so valid 😔🙏 buT J E S U S DID YOU HAVE TO PUT MY HEART IN THE CROSSFIRE- I think I had to stare at my ceiling for a bit afterwards cause like damn… I love my man🗿

Secondly, Rhapsody Anonymous… had my kicking my feet as per usual 🙄🙄 and tbh the fact that both parties were valid in their reasoning for not wanting to out each other and tbh I would also be struggling on deciding whether to spill my identity or not 😭😭 but it was saUR SITIEKR CUTE 😭 man I feel like I set myself up each time I read/re-read the love in unity series cause each time they just call me more and more single and alone 😔💔 BUT FRET NOT I WILL USE THIS AS MOTIVATION AND LECTURE NOTES ON HOW TO GET A GOOD MAN 😤‼️

ALSO OMG DID YOU WATCH BARBIE YET??? Ok I think I gotta calm down I’ve been using too many caps 💀 but Lip Gloss is so Barbie too and the MV is literally a bunch of Kens doing Beach and you can’t convince me otherwise 😤☝️

My personal ranking of the album would be:

1. Fantasize

2. Fire Eyes

3. Passion Fruit

4. Lip Gloss

5. Lighthouse

6. Fairy Tale

But I honestly love all of them and I’ve listened to the album non-stopppppp!

Also yesss I did watch the zeneration behind and tell my whyyyyy New and Kevin ATE 🫣

Also the newest lip gloss mv behind took me OUT esp Changmin wiping TF OUTTTT with the volleyball net like eye- 💀💀

Also just to sneak in a lil abt the pcs… you din’t want to see the Totoro pcs… TRUST 😨😨 not safe for my mental health at ALL

Ouuu also my turn!

1. My fav bread would have to be seed bread! Not like, multigrain bread and idk if the right name is seed bread but it’s just in the name it’s bread made with a bunch of seeds mixed in 😭😭

2. My quirky snow app filter pics… oooooohhhh I hope those never see the light of day again 💀

3. No. 🗿

(But also just like you said, I’m patient but I’m also getting a lil bit impatient at the same time 😔)

4. The Robinson’s kid from meet the Robinsons…. Also Diego,,, and the Kratts broth-*gets shot*

Oh and maybe a few more questions!

1. Are you a tea person or a coffee person? What’s your fav drink?

2. Do you have a sweet tooth? If so, what’s your fav pastry?

3. If you could recommend any MUST HAVE food from your culture, what would it be?

(Can you tell that I’m craving a midnight snack rn 💀)

Oh also! I finally decided to start of my getting-back-into-reading journey with reading a book that has intrigued me and has been floating around a lot, Bunny by Mona Awad! I’ll let you know how it goes in a lil solo book club way 🫡

“I don’t know what they’re called, the spaces between seconds— but I think of you always in those intervals.” (Salvador Plascencia)

- Smooches + Smooches, 🌷 anon

omgg hi bestie 🤧🤧 what's been rough for u 😔 have u started school yet ☹️💔 im like,,, not ready to go back to uni, i wanna be a professional couch potato pls and thanks 😔

LOL pls (´Д⊂ヽ occupied was such a spur of the moment thing 💀 literally was going through MAJOR eric sohn brainrot and just had to get my thoughts down before i Combusted. bro... stared at my ceiling for a good while trying to find the perfect pics for that banner 😭 why's he gotta look that yummy 😭

aknfksnfkdkdk glad u liked rhaps anon bffie !!! bro frfr like this series is just me PROJECTING 💔💔💔 im projecting so VIOLENTLY it's embARRassing 💀 omg low-key i just remembered i pretty much based sunwoo's anonymous situation w how tumblr anons work 😭😭 but yeah for sure, i would also be kind of panicking over secret identities skfnkdnf

OMG I DID WATCH BARBIE I WATCHED IT ON PREMIERE NIGHT AND GOT GLAMMED UP !!! ur sooooooo so right omG??? lip gloss really is just a bunch of Kens doing Beach 😭😭 they're all Kenough for me tbh skcbsjnf but ugh omg im like obsessed w kevins little kick in the beginning of the choreo, and eric's one other jump thing, and chanhee's red light green light skfnkenfkdnfj such a good mv w so much fic potential tbh !!

hmmmm i haven't been listening to it as obsessively as i did be awake tbh 😭 maybe i'm just tired of summer songs 💔 but i would have to say i liked fantasize, fairytale, and fire eyes the most!! the whole album is a bop tho i do agree 🤸‍♀️😋

OH MY GOSH DO U MEAN NYUKEV ON THE STRIPPER POLES WKFNKENFKDNF HELP I SAW THAT CHANGMIN CLIP TOO 💀💀 I LAUGHED SO HARD IM SORRY CHANGMIN DONT HURT ME— omg but they were filming a variety show too and changmin lost a game and abused his gopro 😭😭😭 i felt so bad for that camera, but also low-key....... can that be me...

VRO I ALREADY SAW THE TOTORO ONES AKDNKSNFJD i was debating getting the album or joining a go for those special pcs but i ended up not doing it 😔

LMAO IM SORRY but when i saw seed bread, i just immediately thought of birds 😭😭 unrelated but i got a birb plush from daiso a couple days ago and i named him clyde 😎😎 THE SNOW FILTER APP SJFJKSJDJD I FEKT THAT DW 😭 OMG DIEGO UR SO RIGHT !!! (゜-゜) like sorry dora, ur cousin is much more entertaining ksnfkend

OMGGG i really need to start reading again 😭 it's awful how i can't even pick up a book anymore it's so embarrassing being an english major like this 💔 BUT YES PLS LMK HOW U LIKE IT o7

"& how many times have you loved me without my asking? how often have i loved a thing because you loved it? including me." - D. Smith, acknowledgements

— i love love loved you, and i'll love you all over again too 💖

[mangoisms]

what if. i started arañita wip over

like get rid of what i have until now. What If. i mean i won’t DELETE everyrhing. i don’t know I DONT KNOWWWWWW. this one has me wracking my brain because. i’m just not engaged enough. that’s the truth. one i haven’t wanted to confront because i hate the thought. i’m not engaged i’m not CONSUMED with anything i’m writing

i mean i AM tim and leah have been on my brain constantly for the last six months but. the future stuff. not the stuff i have to get through. it’s important it’s the foundation and i don’t want to say it’s BORING but like. maybe it is!!!! maybe that’s why i can’t engaged!!! maybe it’s just a flaming dumpster fire!!! a dead horse upon which i am beating!!!!

like the idea itself is so interesting to me. right. and it’s exciting it’s FUN. but?????? everything i write. it’s a drag. i’m like. dragging myself through it. i don’t know whyyyyy and it’s so frustrating

maybe it’s not the story maybe it’s just. me. idk. there’s just a lot going on. i really wanted to finish writing the first part of the series this summer since i start grad school in the fall and THATS another thing i’m terrified of i keep oscillating between ‘it’s going to be fine’ and ‘you are absolutely not qualified to be here’ and ‘you have made the worst decision of your life’ and ‘you’re not going to have time for anything else’ and AAAAAAAA I DONT KNOW maybe i’m just psyching myself out thinking it’s going to kill me so i feel too much pressure and. i don’t know. i’m just. not happy with the project right now and i think i might need to start it over again. find another starting point

[mellowsadistic]

I couldn’t stop myself from whining and wriggling about fussily in my crib. I knew it would just make me look even more babyish, but being in nappies was just so disgusting!

“You’ve been a very bad girl, little one,” Daddy scolded, looking down at me sternly.

I cried and whimpered. “Pwease Daddy!” I mumbled around my pacifier. “Pwease change my nappy! I don’t wanna go to bed poopy! I’m sowwy I was naughty! Pwease!”

“No, darling. You were a very, very naughty girl for trying to take your nappy off to use the potty. You do not use the potty anymore, do you understand me? You lost your big girl privileges permanently, and that means no more toilets. Ever. When you need to go pee-pee or poo-poo, you go in your pants like the silly little girl you are."

“But whyyyyy!” I wailed. “It’s so yucky, Daddy!”

He reached in and smacked me hard on the seat of my messy nappy, making it squish horribly against my bottom.

“Ewwwwww!” I whined.

“Being in stinky nappies is just something you’re going to have to get used to, sweetheart,” he said. “This is your life now. You agreed to let me diaper train you, and that’s the end of the matter. Besides, it’s too late. I’ve already made the announcement about your ‘incontinence’ on all your social media accounts.”

“You… WHAT?!” I demanded. My dummy fell from my open mouth. He’d talked about telling people I was incontinent as a cover for the fact that I’d be wearing nappies 24/7, but I thought it had just been a fantasy! Surely he hadn’t actually…

He took my phone out of his pocket and held it up to the bars of my crib to see. My Facebook was open on the screen.

Hi everyone! I have an announcement to make. It’s a bit embarrassing, but I decided it would be for the best if everyone knows. I was recently diagnosed with incontinence. For anyone who doesn’t know, that means I can’t control when I pee or poop, so I just go in my pants like babies do. Unfortunately it’s totally permanent. The doctor assured me 100% that I’ll never be able to get my control back, and that means I’ll have to wear nappies for the rest of my life. If I don’t, I’ll just leave yucky messes everywhere! I’m going to be in nappies 24/7 from now on, so don’t be alarmed if you see my bottom looking a bit bulky (and if you see me without a nappy, you should ask me what on Earth I think I’m doing)! Anyway, that’s all I had to say. I hope you don’t treat me any differently now you all know I’m not potty trained anymore. Thank you! x

I stared at the screen in horror. The announcement had already been liked by over a hundred of my friends.

“No!” I cried, tears forming in my eyes. “NO!”

Daddy put my phone back in his pocket and looked down at me with a satisfied expression on his face. I knew there was no going back now. Everyone thought I was incontinent! Permanently! How could I ever explain it to them if I stopped wearing nappies?!

“Sorry, sweetie,” Daddy said. “But this is for the best. You’re just a stupid little girl who pees and poops her nappies, and now everyone knows it.”

I burst into tears and started kicking my legs and slamming my fists against the mattress of my tiny, cramped crib. My life as a respectable adult was over! Now everyone would just think of me as some stupid oversized baby who couldn’t even use the toilet!

“It’s okay, precious girl,” Daddy said softly, reaching into my crib to stroke my hair. I knew I should be furious with him, but I was so upset that I couldn’t help but be comforted by his gentle touch. “I promise this is for the best. You’re going to be in nappies 24/7, and now you don’t have to worry about other people finding out you’re not allowed to use toilets, since they all think you can’t use them anyway.” I cried even harder at that, and Daddy picked up my dummy and popped it back into my mouth for me to suck on. “Okay baby, time for beddy-byes. You can stay in your messy nappy until the morning and think about what a naughty girl you were for trying to use the potty like an adult. Daddy will change your tomorrow.”

I whimpered and squirmed, but Daddy just left, turning off the light on his way out. I had nothing else to do except try to get comfortable in my dirty nappy, and cry myself to sleep thinking of the adulthood that I’d lost forever.

[killian-whump]

Okay... I paid the $5 and watched the video, because I’ve been pretty good this year and it’s still kinda Christmas time, so it’s a gift to myself.

~ Give Yourself the Gift of Colin O’Donoghue ~

He’s free to use that, you know, as a slogan or tagline. I won’t charge him or anything. Have your people call my people, Colin. We’ll work it out.

I’m kidding. I don’t have any people. I’m not sure he does, either.

I paid the $5 and watched the video, and Colin’s adorable as always.

That’s pretty much all you get for your $5, lol. Adorable Colin on a webcam for about 10 minutes talking about exactly what you’d expect him to be talking about. I can’t really say if this one’s worth $5 or not. Like, you definitely won’t be missing out on anything important if you don’t (especially since I’m spilling the deets, anyway), but it IS a nice little taste of Colin if you do. Especially since we’ve been starved of him lately. And he’s in good form, making cute little jokes and teasing and being his usual adorable self.

Honestly, I don’t regret spending the $5. I enjoyed it.

MIND YOU: If you do decide to pay for this content, DO NOT pay for it TODAY. Wait a few hours until it’s officially Jan 1 everywhere, and THEN pay for it. Patreon doesn’t go by monthly increments - it goes by calendar months. So by subscribing on Dec. 31, I essentially paid $5 for 4 hours of access to Josh’s content - and they were prepped to re-charge me on Jan. 1! So if you wait a couple hours, you’ll get access to this video - and be able to peruse the rest of Josh’s content for a few weeks, if you want to. Just don’t forget to cancel!! Subscription services are almost always a scheme to get folks to sign up and then forget to cancel - and Patreon’s no different. A good chunk of the money made by sites like that comes from people who don’t even remember they’re paying them, and the system is designed to facilitate that!

But enough about that. Let’s talk about the video.

They joked about Colin’s status as the 2022 (and 2021, Colin was quick to point out) Game Night Champion, and how that was clearly the highlight of his year. Colin expects to maintain this status in 2023, because he’s him and

Josh asked him about his year, and they talked about Luck and The Sync Report and Colin playing live music a bit lately. He did an adorable leprechaun giggle, which is probably worth $5 alone if you’re into that sort of thing. He said he’s been talking to some people about maybe doing an EP or something, but then quickly added it might just be for himself, or maybe not, or... Usual Colin evasiveness kicked in and bushes were beaten around.

Speaking of Colin evasiveness... Josh asked if he’d be back in the states any time soon or ever again and Colin said he’d be coming back to the West Coast in a few weeks - and 100% had his “Wouldn’t you all like to know whyyyyy?” face on the whole time, so HE’S UP TO SOMETHING. Or he wants us to think he’s up to something. You never can tell with Colin O’Donoghues. They’re wily little boogerbutts 😂

~ Give Your Fans the Gift of Vagueness ~

That’s another freebie for you, Colin. I’m full of them. I could set you up with slogans for the rest of your career, buddy, and all for NO CHARGE!

Colin talked a bit about his kids. He’s watching Andor (Star Wars series) with his son and both of his kids have seen and enjoyed Luck and Trollhunters. Evan’s seen some of Once, and even saw some of it back when they were doing it, but Millie is still a little young for it, he thinks. Oh, and some kid shouted, “You Captain Hook??” out the elementary school window at him, apparently 😂

Colin shared his New Years plans. He had some family and friends over for a small gathering, and he made a bunch of pizzas, and was about to put the kids to bed because “it’s drinking time” 😂 Although I’m pretty sure it was already drinking time, because he had a half-empty beer with him when he first came on, and he immediately asked Josh if they were doing a round. You can’t fool me, Colin O’Donoghue. Them sheets was already on the clothesline, son.

Anyway, I hope he got completely hammered and had a great time ❤️

[gigantomachylesbian]

Woke up sad and stressed whyyyyy. I need to decide if I’m going to do this bird research summer opportunity but it would mean two months of being away from home (after hardly seeing my family and friends at all the rest of the semester) AND I also don’t even know if my knee is healed enough for me to do it. AND I think I might die if I don’t rest over the summer at least a little bit. 

Like I feel bad because it’s a really great opportunity and the professors running it are two I really like and they asked me to apply personally... and I know if I don’t do it this year I probably won’t even get to do it at all. And I do love science and research. BUT I wasn’t even going to apply until they asked and I know I’m not planning to major in biology anymore anyways... and I should not let feelings of not wanting to let them down stop me from making the right choice

ALSO, significantly, my leg is still fucked up! It’s been better this week but I’m pretty sure that’s just because I’m home+not doing the sitting at a desk all day and walking that I’m doing when at school, and even if it is genuinely getting better, spending 8 hours every day standing and stomping through native grasslands is a lot. ugh I feel like I’m just making an excuse though I’m probably genuinely fine... 

Also I need to spend time today learning my birds in general for ornithology, we’re going to start doing ID quizzes soon and I am SO genuinely scared for them since they’re so unpredictable and I’m bad at doing things on the fly. I just feel like I can’t think fast enough to do it. But I just have to practice and quiz myself

in conclusion: blerghelbeblerrhgghh 

[iwaasfairy]

Fairy, I’m so fucked. I’m in this weird fwb situationship with my cousin not cousin’s best friend’s best friend. He’s such a bum too its like straight out of a dark fanfic 😭 I actually want him whyyyyy???? He’s broke, jobless, and has his head stuck so far into FFXIV you’d have to fish him out just to ask him what’s up. I’m so out of his league too and he doesn’t even like me!! Half the time I’m not sure why he can’t just watch porn to get off but wants my pictures. I’m simultaneously grossed out knowing what he’s doing but also attached to this because it’s the only time he really gives me time of day. I want to drop him but I also can’t bring myself to. Talk some sense into me please. I feel annoying texting him so much when he really doesn’t care.

giRL YOU BETTER FUckIN STOP IT do not tell me this musty dusty crusty gross uggo man who's neet-ness is currently oozing out through my screen has you wrapped around his finger(s). that's honestly embarrassing for you bABE likE COME ON NOW. you knOW YOURE wAY OUT OF HIS LEAGUE AND YOU'RE STILL THERE FOR WHAT REASON???? does he make you feel pretty? no. does he make you feel important? no. does he do anything except beat his meat to anything he can get his gross unwashed hands on from you? no.

you best fuckin kick that man to the curb before the day is over giRL lIKE COME ONNNN,,, love yourself. i love you. i know you're sexy as fuck. this man has nothing on you

[novelelitist]

Somewhat-successor to 2018 and yesterday. Probably needs a part IV. TW for mental health, mentions of suicide. I go months without posting jack shit, you can deal with a little bit of Sanson Self-Indulgence.

Charles-Henri Sanson on Death III

Charles-Henri Sanson did not have this opportunity in life, nor in the times he was summoned to America as a Heroic Spirit. He thinks Salem is charming without the cosmic horror. The regular horror is more than satisfactory.

The ocean is beautiful at night, though the light pollution from nearby Boston leaves much to be desired. Still, to look out on an endless black sea like this is humbling.

Master takes a step too far, Sanson takes Master's hand. He yanks them back so they won't take a long walk off a short dock into the Atlantic.

"This isn't an appropriate place to dive in," he says. "There's a sign right over there."

Master bitches a bit before reassuring him. "I wasn't going to do anything. Maybe jump. Nothing bad."

"I don't see how that makes a difference."

Master slumps into him. "Jumping means I'm less likely to crack my head open, unfortunately."

He props up Master in his arms like they're an inflatable tube person. "If you're going to break the rules and crack your head open, you could at least wait until I'm not around to see it."

"Ah, yes. The age-old adage: 'if you don't have evidence I disobeyed the sign, you can't give me shit for disobeying the sign.'"

Sanson uses Master's hand to bop their forehead. "Truthfully, that's the least of my concerns."

"Hey, if I get lucky a boat will run me over and I won't have to put any effort into drowning. You know how hard it is to drown?" Master asks.

Sanson notes their playful tone and tries to keep it light. He fails. "Exceedingly easy, considering that 'drinking water going down the wrong pipe' is as much drowning as any open water drowning is."

Master gives Sanson's shoulders a lazy squeeze and an even lazier shake without leaving their sloth-flop posture. "I knoooow, so whyyyyy can't I doooo it?"

"Because you're terrible at reverse-engineering death, I suppose?" he suggests.

"Seriously. You'd think a passably-intelligent person would either a) succeed at their attempts to die or b) fail at existing hard enough to succeed at not existing."

Sanson rolls his eyes. They land on the reflection of lamplight in Master's hair. He gets distracted by the shimmering silver highlights.

He thinks on how he and Master both have blue eyes, and how theirs are closer to steel than ice. There is no twinkle in theirs, nor in their smile. He remembers how he once thought they'd never get along, and how eager he was to fulfill his duties and disappear. Now he can't bring himself to leave them.

He rubs the back of their head just the way they like. "Perhaps you were too powerful, so you were cursed to fail at the thing you most craved to achieve."

"You mean like a nerf?"

"I mean a nerf."

"Shit balance team, if that's what they thought would keep me out of the meta. Like my entire existence isn't the problem. Remove me from the game.”

“The answer is still ‘no.’”

Master digs their fingers into Sanson’s back, clutching at the fabric of his well-ironed shirt. He leans back to look at them, but they refuse to show their face.

“That isn’t going to change my answer,” he says.

“...Please?” they ask meekly into his shoulder.

Sanson doesn’t answer. 

“I don’t want to live like this anymore,” they say. “I don’t want to live at all knowing that this is what it feels like.”

Sanson reaches to hold them, but they shrug him off and shove him away. He stares at his hand. It stings. 

“Every time I have, like, the tiniest bit of hope it gets crushed. Any faith I have in others is jaded in nature. I don’t trust anybody. I don’t even think I like anybody. I don’t want my whole life to be like this, but I’m going to have to be in professional care forever and I’ll always need medications and therapy and mental health shit and I can’t get away from my family or myself and I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. Other people kill my will to live, and even if I try to explain how they’re negatively affecting me it’s not like it gets anywhere because they don’t understand or they don’t give a shit. Friends don’t get it, and family doesn’t care, and I can’t. I fucking can’t. I don’t want to live like this.”

Sanson opens his mouth to respond, but thinks better of it. 

“I don’t think I’ve done anything that terrible, but the amount of guilt and negativity I live with outweighs any moments I have in which I don’t feel like shit. No amount of positive interactions will make the negativity go away. I don’t have the resources to get out of the living situation I’m in, and I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want things to be like this.”

Master hates listening to the opinions of the inexperienced and uneducated. He doesn’t feel what they do. It’s best not to pretend he does.

They fidget with the hems of their sleeves until their hands are hidden away. They pull and yank and scratch and tug. Their fingers twitch as they pick at their nails and claw at their knuckles. Before Sanson can stop them, they step further away from him. There are tears in their eyes. They sniff.

“I want so many fucking things and I can’t have any of them and I don’t want to live like this. I’m so viscerally envious of others, even those I shouldn’t be, of the tiniest fucking things they get that I don’t because I don’t get anything because I don’t have anything. I don’t want anything. I don’t. I just don’t.”

Those feelings, Sanson thinks, are things he understands. From his own perspective and the perspectives of those whose lives he’s ended, Master’s frustrations make perfect sense. 

Sanson and Master read the Prisma Illya manga together (to the shame of both parties). Sanson remembers how much Master liked seeing Illya say something to the effect of, ‘I want to die’ means ‘I want to live’ in a ‘manga for lolicons.’ That line struck a cord with him, too, not that he’d ever admit it. 

It’s a pitiful feeling--one of desperation and self-loathing, of fear and uncertainty. To those who crave death, that afterlife or lack thereof is a guarantee that they do not have in life. To believe that there is nothing waiting is to believe in a peaceful rest. To believe that there is a peaceful rest is to believe that better things can be had than what there already is.

This line of thinking conflicts with both his own philosophies and Master’s. So he believes Magical Girl Prisma Illya when she says that those words mean I want to live. 

For everything Master hates and doesn’t want, the converse is equally true: they want the acknowledgement, presence, and presents that others receive that they do not. They want to feel safe and validated, like the people around them live in the same reality they do. They’ve never had those things, and Sanson is well aware that Master doesn’t know what those things would look like for themselves. 

Doodles? Stories? Gifts? Hugs? Memes? Quiet? Reassurance? Validation? Criticism? Help? 

They would probably say they want the sweet embrace of death. As one does.

So he opens up the adjacent line of questioning. “What do you want to want?”

Master sniffles, snuffing like a dumb puppy with a cold. They pull up their hood to shield themselves from the intense gaze of the moon and streetlights.

They shrug, toss their hands up, then smack themselves in the face. “Damned if I know.”

Sanson finds this charming, in Master’s not-at-all-charming way. 

He pulls Master into a hug and pats their pathetic back. Rest assured, they’ll come back to this conversation later when less snot is present.

[bossbex]

5x06 Reaction

JARCHIE!!! I missed their interactions so much... like honestly in S4 they barely spoke.  I’m loving the “roommates” dynamic.  

Ok the kevin/fangs/toni apartment(?) is... amazing!!

I love how they hired actual teenagers (or close to it) to play the high school kids... since all the “teachers” were playing high school students, what, 3 episodes ago?? 

Ok mechanic Betty is SO HOT

DORITOS I AM CRYING AT THIS PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Veronica’s taking over the Blue Velvet!!! Why not reuse that set lmao

Thoughts on this initial barchie interaction: 

I’ve seen all the discourse about it seeming like Archie doesn’t care about Betty’s problems, or not taking them seriously, and people comparing Archie’s “oof - that sucks” to jughead’s “white noise” speech in 1x08 (which I thought was cringy AF and I even liked b*ghead at the time) and here’s what I’ll say: 

His “oof - that sucks” comment as MATCHING Betty’s tone - she says it kind of matter of factly and with a bit of an eyeroll, she does NOT seem very upset about it, and she is a grown ass adult who DOESN’T need Archie’s condolences in that moment - and Archie knows that. 

She then brings up Polly, and Archie ASKS A FOLLOW UP QUESTION: “didn’t your mom say she does this? Takes off for a couple of days” which shows that he is referring to a previous conversation about this - they’ve BEEN talking about it and he DOES care (not to mention they showed that he had texted her about Polly at the end of the last episode)

She says she’s trying not to panic - because she knows this is something Polly does and may not actually be in danger - SO HE OFFERS A DISTRACTION during a time when she is basically asking for one, and then SHE COMES UP WITH THE IDEA OF WHERE TO GO HAVE SEX

Anyway I have argued with enough people on twitter about this lol.. I feel strongly.  Also, this scene was super cute and both Archie and Betty look so good in it.  

I love Tabitha.  Smart, enterprising, witty... I’m all for the Jugitha pairing. (seriously though, is a ship name decided for them? I’ve seen Tabhead and Jabitha as well, lol.  

Uhhhhh ok this car sex scene? It somehow feels even more explicit than the shower scene?? The moaning and breathing?? HOW DARE THESE STONEWALL KIDS INTERRUPT THIS

LMAO NIGHT JOGGING

Is it just me or is Sheriff Keller looking really hot? Silver fox??  

I have to note that Archie’s hair colour looks SO BAD in this whole episode but especially this football scene with the Reggie confrontation.  It’s like, almost burgundy? But somehow bright orange at the same time? I hate it.  

Ok Cole is absolutely nailing this “down on his luck, beaten down” adult Jughead.  His character is funny all the sudden?? I love that he kept the money in the tip jar like OF COURSE

Ok Chad coming into Veronica’s class HE’S THE WORST!!! And then SITTING AT THE BACK I HATE HIM SO MUCH FOR THIS

Alright, now we have another scene that has people talking, which is where Archie meets Chad.  My thoughts: 

Archie clearly sizes up Chad.  I mean, he dated Veronica for 3-ish years (in the show’s timeline) so yeah, it’s normal to meet your ex’s new partner and size them up.  It read more like “he thinks Chads a douche” as opposed to “he’s jealous of Chad because he wants to be with V”.  

They show makes a point of showing Betty’s reaction to them meeting.  THIS SHOT IS NOT RANDOM.  Yes, I’m sure the show will go there, she’ll get jealous of V at some point.  Betty thinking that Archie is jealous of Chad is not the same as Archie actually being jealous of Chad.  

I kind of loved how Chad just jumps in here to join in the karaoke night - he didn’t redeem himself from the previous scene where he SAT IN THE BACK OF HER CLASS WHILE SHE WORKED but I like how they’re not playing him completely evil

Next scene: BETTY AND TONI ARE TALKING!!! I REPEAT!!! BETTY AND TONI ARE TALKING!!! Seriously, it’s so refreshing that they’re actually letting all kinds of new dynamics and character interactions happen this season.  

Also, NEDSLIST!!!! THIS SHOW!!!!

I am living for Cheryl being completely beautiful whilst yelling at construction workers.  

So like... she actually doesn’t have that much money. She couldn’t really afford the donation for the school... I kind of wish that once she says “I can’t afford it” people would like, not keep pushing? I’m looking at you Toni, whom I absolutely adore, I just wish the writers didn’t make it like Cheryl’s being squeezed dry.  I get that it’s needed for plot purposes but I don’t love it.  

Kevin and Betty are friends again!!! Love it!!! 

Karaoke night thoughts: 

At no point is Jughead hanging out or interacting with the rest of the group.  He stays separate from them - with Tabitha, which I appreciate, but I am just noting this because I’m sure it was done purposefully. 

“She probably forgot it’s Gekko now” uhhhh didn’t Toni announce V as “Veronica Gekko” in the last episode?? LOL THE SHADE

I love Veronica’s voice

Ok so Chad actually comes off so great in this scene?? I guess this is part of his manipulation - come off as such a great guy in front of all her friends to get them to like him? 

Jughead’s reaction to the duet is so me every time I’ve watched people do karaoke lmao

During the “or do you need more? Is there something else you’re searching for” they cut to Archie’s and Betty’s reaction.  Archie is not thinking about V in that moment.  

I am not seeing one iota of jealousy from Archie.  He looks genuinely happy for them.  

This Chad and Veronica bed scene makes me uncomfortable.  But I’m glad they’re showing their softer moments! 

The Archie/football recruitment sequence... Chad in the back of Veronica’s classroom again??? HOW IS THIS HAPPENING I HATE THIS!! Also, this is another scene where Chad looks jealous of Archie... not the other way around. 

Britta!!! I love her.  And I feel like the writers inserted her in specifically for Britta Lundin, former Riverdale writer and acclaimed author (read her book Ship It, seriously, it’s so good), and I love that. BUT THE WAY ARCHIE LOOKS AT BETTY IN THIS SCENE IS THAT EVEN LEGAL

We get the first glimpse Toni’s “Operation Bring Cheryl Out Of Hiding” plan here, when Archie asks her for funding for the football team and says its earmarked for something else (hmmmmmmm... this plan has been in the works for a while... and I’m here for it) 

Ok. This scene where Archie goes to ask Cheryl for money is... a mess.  My first reaction is that it was so OOC for Archie to bring up Jason in that way.  Then I got to thinking... Archie probably would want to honour his dad in that way and was genuinely suggesting that as something that might actually be helpful to her, as opposed to purposely trying to manipulate her.  He knows what it’s like to lose a family member, he just didn’t realize that Cheryl doesn’t grieve in the same way. The boy doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body.  Anyway, now he’s been banished from Thornhill! But don’t we see him (and everyone) there in a bts photo from possibly 5x08? Isn’t that at Thornhill? Will this be addressed or will the writers just forget it ever happened?

I love Betty and Kevin investigating together. It’s so refreshing. 

Ok this place Jughead is going to is legit the creepiest shit I’ve ever seen.  I am having trouble making myself care about this “Mothmen” plot??

Betty’s “Straight to the Point” interrogation style is actually effective in this truck stop stakeout scene.  

Alice again with her wine... I wonder if there will actually be an “Alice is an alcoholic” storyline or is the wine just part of her personality now?

Ok like it’s so inappropriate for a teacher to be wearing an HBIC shirt BUT I AM HERE FOR THIS DRAMATIC VIXENS HALLWAY WALK!! And Toni is correct, Cheer is a sport so sit down, Archie.  Notably Toni adds in “not even Cheryl managed to do that” - I’m thinking she new Ms. Bell would be eavesdropping ;)

WHY IS THIS PORTAIT OF JASON WORTH SO MUCH?? 

Is this Minerva character going to be important?? I keep seeing people talking about how she and Cheryl are going to hook up but is that just because she’s a female character who interacts with Cheryl? I’m not seeing it yet but hey, it’s Riverdale.  

JUGHEAD BRINGING UP THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL I SCREAMED

Seriously though, since we know Jughead wasn’t there when Archie said that, there’s two options: Either Archie told him he said it, or (my preferable theory) Archie used to just SAY THAT REGULARLY and has said it in front of Jug lmao.

Chad again seems legit supportive when she tells him about her jewelry store plan?? THEY’RE SO UP AND DOWN!!! 

Ok, so Betty is an FBI agent (trainee, whatever) and she JUST NOW THOUGHT OF TRACING POLLY’S CELL PHONE

This scene... when Veronica finds out Chad has been talking to Hiram behind her back... this is where she decides she’s done with Chad. 

Another scene with Archie - I am still getting zero vibes that he’s into Veronica? And zero vibes that Veronica’s into Archie? It makes complete sense that Veronica would want to help the bulldogs.  Chad is a total dick here and is definitely threatened by Archie... again, not the other way around.  Side note: Chad, if threatened by Archie, is a TOTAL IDIOT for suggesting Archie renovates the Pembrooke - like, he’s going to be working? All the time? Where Veronica is staying? And probably taking his shirt off because he’s sweaty from all the working?? WHYYYYY WOULD CHAD ENCOURAGE THIS

This little flirty scene between Jughead and Tabitha (and it’s the first that I would say has any flirty undertones whatsoever) is pretty cute.  

THIS BARCHIE PORCH SCENE I HAVE THOUGHTS

The fact that people are suggesting Betty showed up there because she wanted to talk to Jughead is SENDINNNNGGGGGG

Let’s be clear, she only asked about Jughead so she could make sure he wasn’t home so that she could bone Archie. There is no other interpretation for this. 

THIS IS THE BEST BARCHIE KISS TO DATE

They are playing the song from the porch scene in the pilot... DON’T TELL ME BARCHIE IS MEANINGLESS WHEN THEY ARE USING THIS SONG

I think the fact that this is the first time they had sex and we didn’t see it is meaningful - they are showing that the relationship is deepening and they are more than “just sex”

As Betty leaves, Archie looks like he wants to reach out for her and then stops himself - he is definitely falling hard and he’s afraid Betty isn’t feeling the same way

Ok, Cheryl is straight up wearing lingerie in Toni’s office!!! And the red lipstick is back - notably, throughout the entire show, she has worn the red lipstick as a kind of shield - she never has it for her “vulnerable” scenes.  Seems like that is still happening. AND this is where we see Boss Toni’s plan come into fruition - she started up the vixens and MADE SURE CHERYL FOUND OUT ABOUT IT because she knew that was the one thing that would make Cheryl come out of her Thornhill hiding spot.  Well played, Toni.  

Archie and Veronica announcing the bulldog funding... again, I’m not seeing ANY “romantic/attraction” vibes here? He does react when she says her last name is Lodge again but like, anyone would? 

MS. BELL YOU GOSSIP I’M OK WITH YOU REPORTING TO CHERYL BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT HIRAM

Is Reggie... filing his nails? Lmao

I really hope Polly isn’t dead?? Like I very much want a Polly redemption story!! 

Sooooo I guess Archie and Jughead are both going to die in this fire? Lol... well... they’re main characters so I’m sure they’re good.  

I’m doooone for this week! So far really enjoying the timejump? Obviously because of barchie but also, everyone is just - better. 

Well this turned out to be a novel.  If you made it this far, thanks for reading :) 

[breadoffoxy]

Cramps & More

Summary: Mother nature hits in full force, and you’re overwhelming emotions make you question your relationships. Comfort ensues.

Pairing: Jimin x f. Reader x Taehyung

Genre: NSFW, Period angst and comfort

Warnings: NSFW, no smut but refers back to previous chapters slightly, mentioned nudity, period symptoms, negative thoughts/low self-esteem

Word Count: 1,776

A/N: No smut in this one, but still some nice Vmin sandwich goodness. This is me just trying to write some angst out in my period feels and trying to cheer myself up.

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You feel like you are in a cocoon being wrapped up warm and safe as you slowly wake up. It takes a moment for you to realize it’s a hard, naked body behind yours with long legs entangled messily with your own. As if sensing you're waking up, an arm pulls tighter around your middle and something soft traces the top of your head. It's perfect. You shift to snuggle more into the warmth, a content smile on your lips.

Until the cramps start drilling into your side.

Eyes shooting open, you try to scramble out of the morning spoon you find yourself in. A displeased groan sounds off behind you.

"Y/n, whyyyyy." A deep voice, even deeper and gravely than normal with sleep, groans, signaling it is Taehyung wrapped around you like a koala.

"Tae, I need to go to the bathroom." You whisper hastily. Pulling at his arm, you try to unravel him from your form.

"Come back, ok?" He says before you are free and darting off to the bathroom without a response.

You close the door behind you and root through your cabinet door, happy to find that you are in stock of your hygiene products. You sit on your toilet and groan as your sides convulse. The feeling of leaking always made you uncomfortable even after all these years.

There's a knock on the door followed by a "You ok, y/n?" Making you realize you must have lost track of time sitting on the toilet.

Running a hand through your hair, you shout. "Y-yeah...yeah I"ll be fine Tae. Just give me a moment." You get up and clean up after that, trying to be quick to not make your friend worry you were dying in the bathroom. It felt like you were though.

The site in the mirror makes you freeze. Your hair is astray and face is blotchy. You look like a swamp witch so you quickly throw some water on your face and do your best to tidy your hair in a couple of seconds. When you open the door and see Taehyung lounging on your bed in all of his naked glory, you feel inadequate in front of the adonis that is your friend.

Taehyung stretches his arms out, signaling for you to join him back in bed after seeing you hovering at the bathroom door. "Come here, you."

A strong feeling is pulling at your heart and the next thing you know you are diving into the bed and into Tae's arms. He's quick to wrap his arms around you and entangle his legs with yours again. This time though your facing each other. You look up shyly, stepping over the pile of strewn clothes and seeing the remains of your broken chair on your way to the bed were clear reminders of all the filthy things you were up to yesterday. "H-hey."

"Hey, princess." Taehyung says happily, bumping his nose against yours.

Despite the clear look of happiness and comfort your friend was showing you, your insides twisting and the overactive, negative thoughts you get from your period make you oblivious to his signals. Your insecurities were ringing out, making you second guess everything. Hiding your face in Taehyung's chest you let out a long groan, hoping it gets your frustration out.

Warm hands are instantly rubbing at your back soothingly. "Woah, I'm here with you, breathe in with me...now out, there you go."

You didn't even realize you were holding your breathe until Taehyung's instructions. You wrap yourself tighter around him, hoping it would anchor you safely. "I'm sorry."

The hands continue to rub soothingly into your back. "There's nothing to apologize for, talk to me baby, what's wrong."

Baby. He's never called you that before. What does it mean?

"It's stupid." You grumble into his chest, rather not elaborating on your worries. Knowing it's stupid doesn't make them go away.

"It's not if it's stressing you out like this." A large hand comes to rest on your cheek and guides you to look up at wide, empathetic eyes.

You cringe a little as you force your inner thoughts to escape your lips. "About last night..." You lick your lips; everything suddenly feels so dry and your hyper-aware of yours and your friend's nakedness. Taehyung's lips slip into a frown as you trail off so you quickly try to continue. "It was amazing, really, I honestly can't believe that all happened, but I feel like I took advantage of you and Jimin. I basically threw myself at you like a slut-"

"Hey." Taehyung speaks firmly, effectively cutting you off. He was going to let you finish but he couldn't take any more. "Never put yourself down like that." His thumb starts rubbing circles soothingly into your cheek. "I know I'm speaking for Jimin here too when I say we never saw you taking advantage of us nor we would never think of you as a slut. If anyone was taking advantage it was us. Do you regret it?"

Instantaneously, your answer was, "No."

"Neither do we."

Before anything else can be said the smell of something amazing wafts into your room and Jimin bursts through the doorway singing, "I made pancakes~"

A small smile breaks out on your face at your half-naked friend prancing around your house somehow carrying three large plates of strawberry pancakes, one even having suspiciously more strawberries than the other two. Taehyung’s nose nuzzles into the side of your face happily at the turnaround of your emotions.

“Jimin.” Taehyung’s breath tickles your skin, making you wiggle in his arms. “Tell y/n how great they are.”

Jimin hands Taehyung the extra strawberry plate before stepping on to your bed and carefully navigating over the tangle of limbs. He sits down on the other side of you, putting one plate beside him and the other in his lap. “I’d say you’re an absolute angel, but that’s my job.” Jimin starts cutting up the food on the plate in his lap. Him considering that possibility is a big compliment in itself. “Now, sit up so I can feed you.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You slide yourself up so your back is resting against the headboard. Taehyung is still laying down next to you, arms wrapped around your legs and head in a nearly dangerous spot in your lap.

“But I want to spoil you.” Jimin grins, holding out a fork with a bitesize amount of pancake and strawberry.

You can’t help but eye the fork for a moment before slowing wrapping your mouth around it. You slide your mouth off the fork, munching happily. “T-thanks.”

Jimin eyes probe your own, and you glance away feeling self-conscious at his attention. “What’s wrong y/n? Remember, you can tell us anything.”

“I just…” cramps hit your side making your roll into yourself. Taehyung nuzzles his face further in your lap and massages at your sides. “period stuff. Sorry, I get in my own head.”

“Hey, what did I say about apologizing?” Taehyung admonishes. The sight of him looking up at you through his hair sends the butterflies through your chest, but a wave of cramps sends them flying away.

“N-not to.” You groan.

“Is this about yesterday?” Jimin practically shoves another forkful of food into your mouth.  “I for one had an amazing time, god you’re so sexy.”

“No, I’m not-“ before you can finish your sentence, another forkful of pancakes and strawberries is pushed into your mouth, forcing you to chew.

“No, I don’t want to hear it you sexy beast.” Jimin admonishes. He looks at your lap to look at Taehyung.

“They were saying bad things, like calling themselves a slut before you came in.” Taehyung tattles. You pinch at his shoulder in betrayal as Jimin’s gaze settles on you again with heavy disapproval.

“Yah, none of that in this house you understand.”

“…but this is my house?” You question with a tilt of your head.

“Makes my statement even more true then.” Jimin continues to feed you as he talks. “You enjoyed yourself, right?”

You nod with a mouth full of pancakes.

“Then I don’t see what the problem is. There is nothing to be ashamed of having good, crazy sex.” Jimin nods as if that solves everything.

“Does…Does that change anything?” You ask quietly.

Your two friends share a look before Jimin replies, “Do you want it to change, to be something new?”

At your silence, Taehyung adds, “If we were only here for the sex y/n, we wouldn’t be here in bed with you like this.” He kisses your thigh to accentuate his point. “Our friendship is more important than one sex filled night.”

“Guys..” you trail off, hands clenching your wrinkled bed sheets, nose sniffling in admiration. “Thank you.”

“Awwwww.” Jimin coos. He wraps his arms around your shoulders and hugs you tight. “And the offer is open if you want to have more sexy times too y’know.”

“R-really?” The offer has your insides twisting up in a completely different way.

“We always have fun hanging out with you, and last night was no exception.” Taehyung offers as an explanation.

“Yeah, and well it doesn’t have to be just sexy times too.” Jimin adds shyly. This makes you focus on him with his sudden change in demeanor. The look in his eyes is soft and full of what you would later come to define as love. “I- we both like you, a lot.”

You’re a little shocked at the news, your eyes are wide as you try to process it.

“If you want, we could be in a relationship. Take you out somewhere nice, go on a date.”

“I-“ You start, not sure how you are going to finish. This doesn’t seem real, but the pain in your sides clearly tells you it is not a dream. Deciding to end this as it started, you let your body do the talking by leaning forward and kissing Jimin against the lips. It’s short and light, as you break it before Jimin can deepen it, which he appears he desperately wants to.  “If you’ll have me.”

“Of course.” Jimin whispers as he gives you a light kiss in return. You appreciate how he’s moving at your pace for you.

“Now, get down here and cuddle me more.” Taehyung demands.

Giggling, you follow his command, dragging Jimin down with you. Two warm bodies lay on both sides of you, giving you soft touches to ease your body and mind.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you y/n.” Jimin whispers into your ear.

“We’re happy to spoil our little princess.” Taehyung whispers in your other.

[glenncoco4]

20 Years in the Making

A/N: Finally, part 2 to Second Place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the last of the presents are opened, the couple shares a knowing look and being as nervous as she is, Kensi nods to her boyfriend, giving him permission to break the news to their mothers.

Deeks intertwines their fingers, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before turning to the moms who are still staring at them with shit eating grins on their faces like they have been all morning. “Okay, now we have one last present for you two. It’s from both of us but if you want it you have to get dressed because it’s outside."

“Is it a new car?” Julia asks excitedly as she looks from her best friend to their kids.

Roberta quickly reaches for Julia’s hand. “Shirtless firefighters?”

Deeks sighs, unable to stop from rolling his eyes as the pair shout out their ridiculous guesses, especially his mother’s. “No and definitely not.”

The matriarchs looks at the couple confusedly, trying to read in their eyes what they may be in for.

Knowing hey have no time for this stare down, Kensi stands up and ushers the two best friends towards their rooms in hopes to get going. “Hurry up!”

As the moms run off down the hallway, Kensi turns back around, nervously looking at her best friend. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

Deeks shakes his head as his hands find her waist, pulling her body against his before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. “I've been dreaming about this day ever since I was a little kid.”

She pulls back from his embrace as she takes a deep breath. The way he’s looking at her right now is something she’s never let herself see before. She of course had these instances throughout their friendship where she thought there was something more displayed in his eyes as he looked at her but never had the guts to ask him about it, and now it’s all she sees. “You’re so in love. It’s kinda gross.”

“I'll show you gross.” His eyes get a playful spark as he picks her up, throwing her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

XXXX

After their wrestling match on their bed the lifelong best friends get dressed before making their way outside the cabin, calling after their moms. Stepping out into the brisk morning air of the Sierra’s, Deeks joins his girlfriend on the porch, placing a kiss to her forehead before taking her hand as the anticipation of what’s about to happen grows exceedingly large.

Five minutes later Julia and Roberta finally grace their kids with their presence and are finally able to lead the pair to the wooded area just on the other side of the village.

The four of them make their way past the other cabins before reaching a wooded area with a clear pathway running through the trees.

Much to their chagrin Julia and Roberta follow their kids down the snow covered trail as a light snowfall begins to trickle down on them. “Martin, I’ve seen too many episodes of Snapped to know this never turns out good.”

“Okay, relax.” Deeks shakes his head as the laughter of his girlfriend fills his ears. He looks at her then and his catches his breath at this moment. She’s so carefree; so happy, and he for one can’t wait to spend every day like this, no matter how ridiculous it may be, with her, loving her and being loved by her.

Once they make it through the bushel of trees, Kensi and Deeks are taken back by how perfect the scene is. These plans that they made were more of a last minute thing so they didn’t really have the opportunity to actually come here and picture it, but now seeing it in person, they know this was the perfect place.

Julia gasps as she and Roberta take in the mountainous view and the beautiful frozen lake before them. The snowfall is light, which brings a magical aura to the whole atmosphere. “Oh, wow.”

As they look at the edge of the lake, a woman waves at them, immediately bringing smiles to the couple’s faces. This is it.

The women continue to follow their children before they notice the strange woman a few feet ahead of them. “Who’s that?”

“She’s part of the surprise.”

“Oh, so you hired someone to do your dirty work for you.”

Deeks is sure now more than ever that his mother needs a new hobby. “Dear god.”

As they approach the brunette woman she sends them a warm smile. “Hey, guys.”

Kensi closes the distance between the two, wrapping her arms around the older woman, forever grateful that she took time out of her busy schedule to do this for them. “Hi, Amy. Thank you for doing this on such short notice.”

Deeks follows his girlfriend’s actions and gives her wraps the woman up in a hug, forever grateful. “Yeah, we really appreciate it and sorry about the wait. Thelma and Louise over here took longer than expected to get dressed.”

“Not a problem at all.”

Roberta being Roberta doesn’t like being on the outside looking in so she looks between the trio asking the question that she and Julia are both wondering. “Are you gonna tell us what we’re doing here?”

“Well, you remember that binder you guys were talking about last night.”

Julia nods her head, not really understanding where this is going. “Yeah?”

Kensi smiles as she encircles her arms around her boyfriend’s forearm. “You can throw it away.”

“What? Whyyyyy?” Julia whines at the same time as her best friend starts to get agitated.

“Over my dead body.”

The blonde smiles, knowing the next string of word are going to send their moms into delirium. “You can throw it away because after today it won’t be of any use.”

Realization crosses over Roberta when the couple shares a kiss. That paired with the strange woman standing in the background, looking on with a smile. “Hold the fucking phone?”

“Mom!”

The brunette matriarch finally catches on, tears springing to her eyes. “Wait, so you two are…”

“Surprise?”

Roberta’s eyes light up as she wraps her arm around her best friend. If anyone knows how excited she was it was Julia. “Well then what are we waiting for?”

Amy laughs as the couple turns towards each other excitedly, sharing a kiss before she starts. “So I have it on good authority that you two have written your own vows.”

They both nod. If there were a time to tell each other how they truly feel, it was this moment, even if their moms would coo at them for the rest of their lives.

Amy usher, too Deeks, giving him the go ahead.

Taking hold of her hands, the blonde takes a deep breath. His cerulean blues latching onto those mismatched chocolate orbs that took his breath away for the first time 20 years ago. “Kens, I’ve loved you my whole life and it was only until recently that it was pointed out to me that best friends don’t normally feel the kind of love that I feel for you. You’re more than my best friend and every day that I’m with you is the best day of my life. You make me want to be better, to do better. You’ve been with me in my highest of highs and lowest of lows and I can always count on you. And that smile,” At that moment her eyes light up and she flashes him those pearly whites. “god, baby, that smile. That’s what gets me through a tough day or any day.” He can feel the tears spring to his eyes as he takes in this moment. Reaching into his pocket, the lawyer pulls out a tiny silver band with an intimate blue stone, one that she so clearly recognizes. “I’ve been holding onto this for 8 years.” He brings his hand up to wipe away the lone tear that’s falling down her cheek, seeing the clear question in her eyes. “I saw you looking at it while I was grabbing our tickets for G.I. Jane. I know you don’t like jewelry all that much but when I saw the look on your face as you looked at that ring, I knew I would do anything to get it for you. So that night I went back and bought it. I wasn’t really sure when I was going to give it to you because it seemed too important for just any day so I told myself I would know when the right time was and it’s been in my wallet ever since then. And I’m pretty sure this is good as time as any.” He slides the ring onto her finger with the brightest smile imaginable on his face. “I love you so much, Kensi Marie Blye and I can’t wait to be your whipping boy for the rest of my life.”

The brunette’s jaw drops open, trying to hide her smile as she swat at his shoulder. This is the man she loves.

She has to take a calming breath before she can get the words out. There’s a very strong possibility that she won’t be able to get through the rest of this without balling her eyes out. “Marty, you changed my life in so many ways, there’s too many to count. You’ve been my sole confidant and biggest supporter ever since I’ve known you and for that reason, I will love you forever.  We’ve been through so much together; we’ve laughed; we’ve cried. Hell, you even let me paint your toenails and fingernails because I was so bored after school one day.” She shakes her head at the memory. They’re ridiculous, but they’re ridiculous together. “The time that sticks out to me most though is when you were there for me after my dad died. You let me cry, you held me and told me how much my dad loved me and then you started telling me about all the different stories you remembered. You made me laugh when I was having the darkest moment of my life and I’ll never forget that.” He reaches up, cradling her face. His thumb moving back and forth across her cheek in soothing motions, giving her the extra strength to get her words out. “I never told anyone this but that first day, when you showed up to the house with trashy movies and a bag full of junk food…that’s the day I knew I loved you as more than my best friend. I knew that whatever life threw at me I could take it because you were there to catch me if I ever started to fall.”

The pair’s eyes stay locked as they continue to swirl with emotion. Neither willing to break the bubble that surrounds them.

It’s not until they hear audible sobs from their moms a few feet away and Amy pronouncing them as husband and wife until they’re brought back to earth.

“It’s my pleasure to now pronounce you husband and wife.”

He pulls her into him, crashing his lips to hers as the feeling of complete and utter love washes over their entire being. They start to get carried away and are again lost in the moment before Roberta once again makes herself known.

“So when can we expect grandchildren?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hope you guys liked it!

[stevenbasic]

“Wait tell me again we lost how many people?!?” I asked, still unable to believe it. Too much was happening, too much too quickly. Here I was, sitting in this monstrosity of an office Melissa has somehow arranged to be built for herself while we were away, in front of her gigantic new desk, still dealing with what happened with Sheryl at home (more on that later), and now this?!? More quittings?!?

“Shhh we’ll be fine…” Melissa soothed, trying to placate me as she poured a coffee for me at her new, elegant coffee station in the corner, “it was just the girls from accounting, Sharon from the front desk, a few part-time medical assistants…” I watched her add sugar and milk, and more milk. “Kathy was having trouble with Doris and Marjorie in accounting, anyway.”

I put my head in my hands. I can’t say I didn’t know this day was coming. So many of my old employees hated Melissa. Or, rather, they hated me for being such a weak turd, so easily enchanted by a big pair of tits that I’d hire an under-qualified, under-experienced girl like “Melissssy” to be their boss and basically run the finances of the practice into the ground, which was exactly what was happening. We’d been bleeding money and now we were bleeding people. Out of a total of seventeen or so original employees at the start, now only a handful were left. The rest, all the new hires were...hers: friends, ex-coworkers, people from this drug company to which she has some connection, a friend in sales. And if she made more hires to replace those that just left, the overwhelming majority at this point would have more loyalty to her than to me. I groaned, lamenting how far I’d let this get....

It was as if she was reading my mind when she consoled me. “Aw, shhhh...You still have CiCi, in scheduling, Aubrey and Brittni at the desk, nurse Vida, a couple medical assistants,” she said, listing the remaining original employees as I took my face from my hands to see her standing over me with my coffee, “And, plus...you have me.”  Her smile was ebullient, and she offered me the warm cup. 

“y-yeah,” I agreed half-heartedly, taking the coffee from her hands, taking my first sip, and immediately noticing she’d put in even more milk than the last time. If I didn’t know any better I’d think she was trying to slowly wean me off coffee, turn me into a milk-drinker. 

She sat back on the desk in front of me, looked down at me with sympathy. It had been a little bit of a shock, after a week of seeing Melissa in the most casual of clothes, in the most revealing of swimwear, to see her in a power suit again. She looked so...put-together, but still dramatically sexy. Her legs, even in her fashionable black pants, were strong and shapely, and even a buttoned-up white blouse and jacket had no chance in hiding the curves of her torso. “Anyway it’s done, they’re gone, they all left last week,” she said, reaching out a hand to cup my face, caress it tenderly, “you don’t have to worry. We took care of it, we have it covered.”

“A-and you knew about th-this, last week? Wh-while we were away?” I asked, voice cracking in my dismay. Though she had told me before, I needed her to repeat it, to explain. 

“Yes, I did,” she clarified, smiling beatifically, “I didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t want to ruin the nice time we were having, spoil your vacation.” She ran her hand through my hair, brushing it off my forehead. “So I didn’t tell you about all the girls that left. Randi took care of a lot of it, and Amelia. And Marisela, she’s been a great help, too.”

I found myself looking at Melissa's wide, soft lap, and sipped again at my milky coffee. Part of me, I have to admit, was relieved that it happened, finally, that the old veterans were more or less all gone, gone with their perspicacity and judgmental glares. Gone and that I didn't have to face them, that I didn’t need to be there for the unpleasantness. Part of me was glad there was someone else that handled things, that did the work. The way Melissa described it earlier, it sounded like there was a shouting match, a throwdown between Randi - who Melissa had left, probably foolishly, “in charge” while we were away - and the remaining old guard.

I could imagine it, Randi locking horns and talking some real shit - the kind Melissa herself would never be capable of - to the old timers, the ones admittedly most essential to the practice. They probably left in disgust, with only a few of the younger women - who had already found themselves gravitating to Melissa’s orbit - staying on. But - Sharon? My Front Desk Supervisor...she’d been with us from the start! Just like Doris and Marjorie from accounting: they’d all be a huge loss. 

“This is all good news, sweetie, a fresh start,” Melissa purred, continuing to assure me that everything was well in hand, “the only people here now are the ones totally committed to helping us grow and change and get better. And don’t worry, we’ll get in some new girls that love the practice, love you as much as we do. We want to keep you safe, secure...” She watched as I nervously finished the last of my coffee. “Do you want another cup?”

“uuuhhhh...sure…” I replied, as already she’d stood, had taken my cup from my hands. I watched her full hips and big rear, blessed with what looked like an extra sway in her tight black pants, as they rolled voluptuously back to her coffee station.

Safety. Security. ”Hey, uh...what’s up with the new security, on the computers?” I asked, as she fixed me another cup, “How much did that cos-”

“Oh, it didn’t cost us anything,” she replied, as once again she poured a more-than-healthy amount of milk into my coffee, “it was all paid for by Lean In…along with the additions, the improvements, the renovations, too.”

She meant her office, of course. This office. 

I was shocked when I had first came around the corner, directed by Marisela back to where we used to have two old storage rooms, only to find an entire new wing, a bright, contemporary hallway where once there was none. Had we taken space from the suite of offices next door?! Who’d okayed this?? How’d it get done so quickly?? We were away for only a week and I come home to...this?!? The hallway led, it seemed, to several new rooms: the first, on my right, looking to be the most impressive of them, behind an elegant set of double doors, a transom window above. On the door, a sophisticated placard: “Melissa Monroe - Office Manager”.

This was Melissa’s new office?!? Flabbergasted even before I first walked in, my jaw totally hit the floor when I opened the door and - I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was beautiful, and it was big. Modern, lots of whites, grays, natural driftwood tones brightened by tons of natural light. There was a sitting area with a voluptuous white couch, a big, comfortable chair and a plush white area rug underneath it all. Huge windows with a seductive view of the city skyline loomed behind an impressive desk at which sat a queen ready to receive her subjects: Melissa, my twenty-something new Office Manager. The whole place looked - and, I realized, as I stepped in - smelled just like her. Immediately - crap, whyyyyy…?? Is this some sort of weird instinct, now? - I felt myself thickening across my hip.

She stood, spreading her arms wide, and with a great swell of her chest in pride asked me: “Don’t you love it???” 

“I-it’s...b-beautiful…” was all I could manage as I walked in, unable to shake the feeling that I was entering dangerous territory, soil that was not my own. A new domain that was undeniably...hers.

She had giggled, and had asked me to sit.

So as I sat here now and drank my second cup of milk-thick coffee I looked around, again. I was beside myself. So, it was all paid for by “Lean In”?? Great, but I never intended for her to have an office!  Previously, she was just stationed in her own area in the main central space, in a semi-private corner but among the other staff. She had had a desk but now - an office?!? And - it’s so much bigger than mine!! By...a lot! It makes mine look like a walk-in closet! Did she realize it?? Was she that oblivious to how emasculating it is seeing a young, attractive employee get a bigger office than you? Or - the more scary thought - was that the point?

“The people at Lean In were so cool, more than happy to pay for it all,” Melissa explained, “as long as it was supporting growth in a company like ours.”

I knew I shouldn’t even ask it...but then I did. “L-like ours?”

She smiled benevolently down at me. “Woman-owned, woman-managed,” she said, as gently as she could, barely containing the giddy, feminist pride that was so obviously bubbling inside her. “Sheryl was the one that okayed the construction,” she added, as if unable to help herself. 

In the subtext, I felt like an afterthought, and was acutely aware of the fragile bones of my pride snapping, just like kindling, inside me. 

“We all thought the changes, the new rooms, the extra money for staff, would be great,” she continued, taking a moment to look around, admire her handiwork, “perfect first steps in our expansion.”

“E-expansion?” 

”Well, of course we need to replace the girls that we lost,” Melissa said, her eyes rolling but then falling back down to me again, “but we should add even more people, make ourselves bigger. It’s part of Lean In...growth, development, success, for women.” She was watching me closely. “Don’t you want to see that?”

”w-well, yes, of course,” I stammered, reflexively, “b-but...wait, what? more people?” Didn’t we have trouble meeting payroll just last week?

”To help revenue, since you’re not bringing in as much anymore - oh, shh don’t feel bad!” she continued, seeing my startled reaction. 

I was doing fine! Seeing patients, billing. It’s the financial mismanagement, the crummy scheduling and day-to-days of you and your...your...people that are-

“It’s okay, it’s okay, we’ll fix it. Lean In gave me some ideas, and I got some more ideas at the conference on how to make it work,” she went on, obviously excited for her new plans, “We should hire more providers - they’ll all have to be women, of course, for Lean In - but Nurse Practitioners, maybe a Nurse Asstha...Attess…”

“Aesthetician?” I helped, even through my disarray.

“Yes, that..! <giggle!> They can all make us a lot of money,” she said, “And they’ll all need support staff, so that’s more people…”

Of course I’d considered all this, adding secondary providers like PAs, APRNs, employees that can bill aside from myself so the practice has more income. We already had one part-time APRN, Vida...when I’d done the numbers before it just never made sense to bring on more. Why would it now? And...an Aesthetician - what did they do? Botox, Laser hair removal, chemical peels? At a Geriatrics practice?

“It sounds...expensive,” I said, knowing I was being too meek but god help me unable to disappoint her, not wanting to upset her by really putting my foot down with a ‘no’. “Expensive” was all I could manage. .

“It’s okay,” she quickly replied, ready with her response, “we have the Lean In money to start...and they'll bring in more than you, pretty quickly.“

Oh my god. It was like I could hear the overwrought strands of my stretched-thin ego actually snapping.

“okay okay okay...we can talk about it,” I said, disbelieving how far this conversation had gotten already. I was such a mess, after the travel and the fight with Sheryl and the bad night of sleep, the return to work and the thing with the computer, her office and now this. But I knew I had to step up, be proactive. Remember the last round of quittings, and the new hires after that? That’s how we got Amelia, and Josie, and that stern lady in accounting. “But first we have to replace the people we lost, just so we can operate,” I said, with as much authority as I could muster, adding, “a-and I want to be more involved this time.”

“Oh, of course, sugar, sure, if you insist,” Melissa replied, sweetly, indulgently, “I’ve already asked Randi to start looking for some girls. Here, why don’t we bring her in...” At that, she turned to her right and pressed the button on an intercom. “You two can come in now,” she announced. 

In less than a moment the door behind me had opened, and I craned my neck to see both Randi and Marisela stepping in. “Hiiiiii….” Randi keened, while Marisela just smiled.  Both were dark of complexion, dark of hair. Both were wearing black, both were in similar outfits. Randi’s pants, though, had flared cuffs while Marisela’s outfit was more figure-hugging head-to-toe. Randi was also wearing higher heels and a clingy silk blouse. Despite myself, I felt my loins respond...I was suddenly in a room with three very attractive women.

Politely, I started to stand, to offer one of them my chair. Melissa, though, immediately stopped me, sticking out her foot onto my seat, between my legs. “No, you sit,” she commanded.

I froze, sat back down, and in the next moment they were behind me, flanking me, one on either side. For some reason, my heart had quickened, and I felt surrounded. “H-hi ladies…” I stuttered, hearing the wimpish uncertainty in my voice, and then the contented purring of Marisela and Randi as they settled warmly behind me, close and confident.

”So... Dr. J agrees,” Melissa began, addressing her attendants, “we need to hire some more girls, and he wants to make sure he’s more involved in the process this time. Think we can do that?”

“Oh, for sure,” Randi answered, her voice entirely too sultry for a Monday morning, “I think we can do that.” She placed her hand on my left shoulder. “Can’t we, Marisela?” 

“Mmhm yeah sure...we can do that,” Marisela agreed, her hand now on my other shoulder. I caught myself swallowing dryly, confused. Marisela, in the past, had never seemed to warm to the new girls, to Randi, to Melissa. In fact, I thought she kinda hated them, in her own dark, quiet, passive aggressive way.

When Randi spoke up, it was again as if my mind was being read. ”With you gone last week, Dr J, with less patients, we girls had a lot of time to get to know one another,” she said, hovering close behind me on my left, “I think we all really started to come together as a team-.” . 

”...and realize how much we missed you,” Marisela chimed in, on my right, coming closer. I could feel the warmth of both of their bodies behind me, and it was doing nothing for my efforts to keep myself from - ugh - slowly hardening in my slacks.

“We had an early meeting this morning, at seven, all the girls,” Melissa said, her eyes on me, “so now we’re all on the same page, the new and old staff.” She cocked her head. “Randi? Would you fix his hair for me?”

“Haha yeah…” Randi replied, running a hand through my hair, arranging stray locks over my left ear.

“I told them all about some of the stuff we talked about on vacation,” Melissa continued, smiling as her friend tended to me, idly.

”L-like...what stuff?” I stammered, recoiling already at the memories, but allowing Randi’s ministrations. The thought of them all know-

”Ohh you remember…‘It can be more like this when we get home, y’know, with all the girls,’” Marisela said, as if repeating word-for-word what Melissa had said to me, that morning out by the pool as she loomed over me with her huge breasts in that white bikini, “It doesn’t have to be just Melissa. You can take care of patients-”

“...and we’ll take care of you,” Randi said, picking up where Marisela left off, in perfect harmony, repeating verbatim what Melissa had promised me, “Let us do all the hard work, make sure everything is easy for you, make sure that you’re comfortable, happy…”

“...that you get everything you need,” Marisela continued, moving her left arm around my neck, tighter. I felt the subtle press of her d-cup against the back of my head. What the fuck was happening?!?

“You remember…” Melisssa purred, leaning in towards me from where she sat, over me, on her huge new desk.

looked after, protected... 

I thought back, in that instant, to the starkly contrasting moment of last night, of my fight with Sheryl.

...supported...nurtured, fed…

Where she, Sheryl...she did what she did. While these girls, this group of women, seemed ready for me, ready for me to land in, ready to catch my fall.

...burped...changed…

“All you have to do is sit back and...let us. Let me,” Melissa said. As my cock pressed uncomfortably into my leg, straining my pants under the hapless cover of my folded arms, I could feel it, imagining it again….a finger trace across my bare belly, like that morning, as I lay on the lounger by the pool, “Let me expand what we can do, let us grow...”

The girls grew closer, like a coven coalescing around me.

But...but...I knew...I knew what I’d said I’d do. That I’d...be better. That I’d...be strong. That I’d...

”I-I th-think-“

”Shhhh...that’s your problem,” Melissa stopped me, before I even began, leaning even closer towards me on the desk, bringing her face nearer to my own, “stop thinking, sweetie, stop worrying…” 

”Yeah, Dr, J, that’s right...” Randi breathed.

:”...that’s for us to do now….” Marisela concluded, “...boss.”

================================

Thanks to user at GTSCity Rivense1 a way's back for the idea on the new office, and of course SaulJinzer for the Melissssy render. Check out his DeviantArt: lots of great Denise Milani giantess stuff and his 3D model for her is top-notch.