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yuukei-yikes · 2 years ago

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What are your thoughts on Haruaya friendship? I wish it was explored more in canon

they are so best friends and the gossipy crush talk they forced on ayano and takane in canon really truly belongs to ayano and haruka. *shakes fist* i completely agree. they deserved so much more focus together:( i understand why they didn't cuz there's a lot going on but Man what a wasted opportunity

especially post str heheheheheheheheheheh cuz i can go crazy insane in this setting god bless post str. with shintaro and takane and their fucked up insane codependency haruka and ayano understand each other's struggles a little bit. i think haruka would be the one to talk ayano into therapy LOLLLL cuz like!!! she is trying to keep herself together for her siblings bc they were alone for so long and she wants them to be able to let go and let her take care of things but girl... LIKE AYANO UM SHE IS DEPRESSED. she literally committed suicide and ya it was cuz of a plan but also *plays additional memory* and also both her parents died. like her parents are deadddd and she LOVED THEMMMM and she has to act like a big sister bc shes been away this whole time and feels like such a failure and like she abandoned her siblings and ON TOP OF ALL THIS SHE JUMPED INTO A RELATIONSHIP WAY TOO QUICKLY AND HER BOYFRIEND IS A MAJOR DICKHEAD so she kinda. feels like she has no right being upset abt the family stuff bc she truly feels like she's abandoned her siblings all this time and needs to be strong and do her part so she is like Basically the only reason i am sad is shintaro doesnt pay attention to me (it is 1000% not the only reason and she knows it). she is depressed in general, traumatized, feels like a failure of a big sister and a girlfriend. #slay

takane keeps relationship therapying her and shintaro per ayanos own request bc takane is the only one able to talk sense into shintaro when he's being a total ass which is like a weekly thing. and ayano is accidentally growing to resent takane because whyyyy is SHE the one who can talk sense into shintaro and not her. cant he see ayano is trying her best!!!!!! its not fair!!!!!!!! and she remembers all this stuff she thinks abt her being no good for shintaro bc he needs someone to drive him and how takane felt called out to the point of staying with him all that time and now it's still like this and ayanos like. ohhhh my god. what if he likes her and not me. takane is clearly better for shintaro than me. BUT ITS NOT FAIR I LIKE HIM MORE *silly girl moment* the whole thing sounds like stupid hs crush crap because thats exactly what it is minus the hs and plus the trauma so ayano also feels incredibly stupid bc she's like god there are bigger issues and im here being jealous over a boy. but she cant help it. and also its like she was rly robbed of her silly crush time because she was so busy fucking investigating her dad trying to kill her family and friends. so its like she mentally relaxed a little bit and unconsciously focusing on stupid things out of spite for this. like dammit. so what if i want to be fucking irrational and be jealous of takane. it's just such an easy feeling to feel. its so much easier to hurt over this than everything else. so she's really jealous even if its super stupid ayano is utterly jealous of takane. AND THATS WHERE HARUKA COMES IN

ayano going to haruka cuz aren't YOU jealous and haruka's like well yeah a little but lol ayano u should talk to shintaro instead of me abt this issue. and ayanos like hehe No. SIT WITH ME AND DO MY NAILS♥️ and haruka's like 😐... hehe ok😊

they kind of find this middle ground. ayano intended to go to haruka bc if anyone understands its him but haruka.... the thing with haruka is that he doesnt rly entertain the jealousy thought and he's rather like yeah this is just a very convoluted relationship dynamic all 4 of us need to work on♥️ and ayanos like EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?!?!IN OUR QUARTET!?!? AND ITS NOT ME!?!?!??!*spirals again* and it kind of. forces her to look at things differently. i dont wanna make it sound like haruka is completely out of the unhealthy bit i could go in detail for instances where haruka shows to be pretty perceptive of the ppl around him but maybe another time. so he totally realises the dynamic going on and he talks to takane abt it but he's all like. "BUT ITS OK TAKANE I UNDERSTAND WHY ITS HAPPENING AND I JUST WANT U TO BE COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY DONT WORRY ABOUT ME OKAY BABY STEPS ♥️ how about one night you sleep over with me and the rest u sleep at shintaro's. oh you also wanna bring him over when we should be alone? THATS OKAY LIKE I SAID BABY STEPS♥️(slowly going crazy)" like he's very much aware but also a little (very) spineless and like ayano well he is also jealous at the end of the day. but unlike ayano being like WHY NOT MEEEEE WHY HERRRRRR haruka is more like. terrified of takane breaking up with him. bc he knows if it came down to making takane choose between him and shintaro she would say shintaro. he'd rather have every date with takane bringing shintaro than not have any dates at all. so hes scared that if he presses the issue takane will be like byeeeee (she wouldnt but haruka is so. yknow takane is super best friends with the dan and the whole thing with shintaro and etc and harukas like what the fuck does she see in me) (harutaka are so insane they feel so undeserving of each other but ill go on abt that probably some other time)

SO yeah he is aware but approaches the situation with painful painful painful hesitance and kid gloves which. doesnt really DO that much. like he brings it up enough that takane is aware its an issue at least but shes also so much like nahhhhhhh whaaaaat shintaro and i codependentttt naaaah ur craaaazy and harukas like haha yeah it was silly. *both know its true and sit there awkwardly* and then takane can be like yeah ok sorry we'll work on it but its difficult bc she needs the help of a third to tell her what to do very firmly like she needs haruka to be like DONT bring shintaro over or else i just wont hang out with you but ofc haruka isnt gonna do that but if takane doesnt have that she'll just keep talking herself out of the problem and haruka is completely like. YEAH ITS OK IF U SAY ITS OK (DONT BREAK UP WITH ME PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEEE DONT DUMP ME) its also difficult to talk abt bc haruka doesnt wanna say it in front of shintaro and his ass is ALWAYS THERE

erm. oh yeah haruka and ayano. yeah they clearly find a bit of comfort in each other during this lol but what i originally wanted to go into before getting sidetracked with the shintaro and takane circus was that haruka kinda also talks ayano into talking abt her other issues about her siblings and parents bc he's like yeah all this shintaro stuff on top of all ur family stuff... and ayano's like MY FAMILY STUFF *breaks down*

because. no one else had pointed it out before. ayano thinks she is totally undeserving of mourning before her siblings can. idk if that makes sense. like ofc she can be sad but not sadder than her siblings, she has to be strong, and she feels like such a failure because her siblings are used to rock and rolling by themselves by now and shintaro wont open up to her and basically ayano is sitting there like. i need someone to need me so bad but no one seems to need me but in case anyone suddenly DOES need me then i am 1000% available. so i cant cry abt my parents clearly :3 and for haruka to casually bring up "yeah ur going through a lot with this and that" ayano feels so validated bc its truly the first time someone realises and says it and if he is saying that then it means she isnt selfish and a horrible person for daring to be sad. and she feels so ashamed bc haruka is someone she had also failed to protect back then but he comforts her and takes care of her and tells her its ok and everything she is feeling is completely valid. also they both cry together abt kenjirou bc haruka also loved him as a dad. *goes crazy*

anyways lol she starts therapy👍

they have 0 self confidence. they think they can smile their way out of emotional constipation. they can't bring up an issue without immediately chickening out. they are best friends forever.

#ask tag #headcanons #went a lil crazy with this one.#ayashin divorce #<- counts in this tag tbh

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asmomyluv · 8 months ago

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Obey Me Nicknames Ranking Pt2

SFW

Warnings: rereading this I was a teeny bit mean soo if you like any of these nicknames litteraly ignore what I say bc wtf do I know😜

ALSO sorry i disappeared for what over a year😬 that wasn’t very live laugh love of me and especially with no warning 😅 in any case im not saying im back but i do have fun writing these so ill post every once in awhile and don’t be surprised if i upload 10 things one day and nothing for a month lol. With that here’s pt to smth I wrote over a year ago!

7. Guppy - Leviathan

It’s giving 2020 MHA audios “My guppy🥺” im sorry but it’s a little corny

6. Bell - Belphegor

No thank you first of all like whyyyy this man has nothing Bell related about him and Ik that’s not the point but atp your just trying to make his name short as possible

5. Belph - Belphegor

why!😄 Belphie is right there and u chose this? Go back through your thought process and let’s try again

4. Tannie - Satan

bts as cute as it is I can’t put it higher because this nickname is taken I fear

3. Beel - Beelzebub

Beel is Beel because he’s Beel yk soooo yea it’s just who he is and he’s perfect so the nickname is perfect

2. Dia - Diavolo

Ok now that I’m here I think Didi wasn’t as bad as I said it was so whoopsies anyway Dia is perfect for him you know why? Cause Dia means day in Spanish and what do you do in the day? Stair at his tits

1. Azzy - Asmodeus

I. Love. It him ok look it’s diffrent enough from his name and it’s still got the y at the end to make it just as cute as him and it sounds more like a real nickname idk..

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thesugarhole · 2 years ago

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ok now i have 20mins free before work starts so im going to keep chipping away at romac

pineapples chapter is actually the "today i found a geiger counter in the wasteland - no more radioactive soup for me!" chapter..? i think i remember that one being just the hot stuff joke, not an actual expose on the pineapple bomb that exploded in pilots face, but i could be wrong on this one. or maybe it was mashed together to make use of the geiger counter

its opportune to make that giant green field orb thing the pineapple after effects though so no complaints here. yet.

yes yes we've all seen hot stuff captain. moving on

WHY IS THE FUCKING PINEAPPLE CONNECTED TO THE WIFI COME ON MAN THERE HAS TO BE A LIMIT

its like that pôr do sol joke where the guy negotiated with the workers to end their strike by 'installing wifi in every single cherry' on their cherry farms

surely thats not snippys sleeve... theyre both black for a solid stretch.

is whoever planted this one actually known or are we to suspect snippy Forever? from past information that might not even be true anymore, of course

If the User does not eat this fruit, I will automatically convert it into energy upon expiry date (to provide power to my kitchen friends).

(...)

User set temporal watch to count backwards. Watches are supposed to count forwards, not backwards. You cannot send fruits to your past-self, silly User. User synchronized temporal watch to pineapple expiry time. User changed parameters of my fruit-to-energy conversion program.

so thats how it works huh. infi has said previously the explosion only goes the way they want to if the watches are inside fruits, and i guess it has to do with some futuristic nonsense (as futuristic as this all is) about them auto disappearing once they cant be eaten anymore

DEX-M unit 966912 came to the mini-van. He sounds nice.

He looks great. Sometimes I dream of having such luxurious blonde hair.

DEX 966912 loses his beautiful face. How unfortunate.

stoooooooooop this is embarrassing me. like its true pilot is very nice and very handsome but come on pineapple those are your dying thought- THE PINEAPPLE IS ALIVE WITHIN THE GREEN THING I KNEW IT

whyyyy are you alive. why are you talking in the first place. this future is terrifying to me i dont want my food to talk to me about how it must be eaten what is this a fucking "oooh you gotta water me you gotta use your pee" world?

It smells wonderfully, so fresh, so full of life. I read its label. The label tells me its title and fruit type [CHARLES SNIPPY: DEAD ZONE TOUR GUIDE] It is not yet expired. Good. But I can already see its expiry date closing in. Bad. It will expire prematurely, if it does not make true friends soon.

wasnt snippy. the pineapple would probably recognize it as its previous user. yay!

incidentally where DID i get snippy did it from. am i misremembering something because im positive he was blamed for this bomb specifically at some point

lol at the pineapple being angry he didnt so much as approach the creepy green field thing come on. give the guy some credit you think he would just walk inside it to see whats up even if its technically not radioactive? like sorry this happened to you but also you did blow up pilots face so. stay there. with your horrible future man made consciousness.

#sugar.txt #reading romac

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impyssadobsessions · 3 years ago

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Danny walks into the living and their parents current make shift lab to see Batman and Robin dangling in the air in a ghost proof cage. Jazz was sitting on the couch, one arm crossed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"So whyyyy is Batman and Robin dangling from our ceiling?" Danny asked though his tone very much was implying the question, (and do I want to know?).

"I think you know why Danny." Jazz sounding as if she was trying to will herself from a migraine.

"....Batman was the ghost they were talking about..." Danny frowned.

"Yep." Emphasis on the p.

"I was hoping ut was man-bat."

"Me too Danny."

"Because that would have made sense. Wouldn't be better but would have made sense."

"Mmhm."

"....you want me to-" gesturing to lowering batman.

"Yes, please Danny. That would be great."

"Yeah.. ok ill just uh.." goes to lower the cage.

----

Danny and Jazz apologize to Batman n Robin, explaining their parents made them up and move to gotham for a ghost infestation.

Batman concerned about these kids but frown deeply when Danny asks how they messed up so bad to get caught by their parents.

Robin cursing. And the batfam shows up just to find out its fine now... have to help fix the window.

Based on this post lol while im waitin at the dentist

#danny phantom #danny fenton #batman #jazz fenton #damian wayne #bruce wayne #robin #batfam #dc crossover #batman crossover #danny phantom crossover #dp x dc #the fentons

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crowning-art · 3 years ago

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TGCF SPOILERSS

------------------------

ok you know what, I'm beginning to notice a pattern every time I read and it's me just going omg omg omg!!! (out of happiness) and then omg omg omg omg?!? (like wtf? wtf just happened?????) to omg omg omg omg… (out of dread) and then the cycle repeats lol

Anywaaays

UMMM MY FAVE SIDE CHARACTERS HAVE BEEN INTRODUCED LOL, and that includes

The clothing store owner:

Seeing him flee, the store owner had wanted to stop him, but opening and closing his mouth, he looked down at that gold foil that could easily buy two sets of clothing and more. Then he shrugged and stopped caring.

and the food stall owner:

With this large crowd running down the streets, more dust flew and choked the air; the food stall owner couldn’t even curse anymore, flipping his own pot from anger.

“WHY THE FUCK DO I EVEN BOTHER?!”

lmao Heaven's eye is so funny, I can't with him. He's trying so hard

Qi Rong reintroduced in the midst of eating a human hand and covered in blood, and overall in a very disgusting way:

me: Awwww Qi Rong! It's been a while! I missed him~

Ok, I did NOT have Qi Rong being an excellent chef in my non-existent bingo card, but ya...def a surprise lol

Fu YAO???/

FU YAOOOO????!!!! HE'S BACK!!!! I MISSED HIM SO MUCH?!?!?!

I WAS SO HAPPY I KINDA HAD TO PAUSE TO STOP SQUELING DJNQKJNDOJDN THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY

hehe, he cares~

“OW OW OW OW ARM! MY ARM’S BROKEN! BROKEN BROKEN! COUSIN CROWN PRINCE WAIT! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, I’LL BE HONEST, I LIED, I DIDN’T EAT HIM! I DIDN’T! I WAS GOING TO BUT I HAVEN’T YET!”

“Where is he now?” Xie Lian demanded.

“STOP CRUSHING, STOP CRUSHING! I’ll tell you, that little Feet-Dragger is locked up in the shed on the side, JUST TAKE A LOOK AND YOU’LL SEE!”

I was like woah...uh damn....Qi Rong, u have a way to bring out the murderous side of Xie Lian someHOW, don't you?

Before he finished, a chilling, glistening, bloody butcher knife was thrust into his mouth between his teeth. The handle of the butcher knife was gripped in Xie Lian’s hand.

Xie Lian smiled. “Hm? What are you yelling about?”

Qi Rong did not see how Xie Lian was able to thrust that knife into his mouth; he could only feel chill on his lips, and the tip of his tongue sensed there was a sudden, new, extremely sharp object. Although he wasn’t hurt, if he tried moving even an inch his mouth was going to bleed, and his voice died in his throat.

THIS PART WAS AMAZING LIKE JUST IMAGINING IT sbjwjwkekekek

Right at the same time, Hua Cheng finished building the little golden palace, and he rose to his feet. He raised his brows as he side-eyed the little building he constructed, and gently kicked.

Flop, flop, flop, the golden palace collapsed.

And that inn also rumbled as it crumbled.

UMmm heloo?! IM SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW??? What went wroooonggg???? I miss the friendship BETWEEN THE THREE so much! WHyyyy?? WHY ARE YOU GUYS DISTANT???

Xie Lian soundlessly gave a dry laugh. Eight hundred years ago when he activated the verbal password for the first time, it was “just recite the Ethics Sutra a thousand times”; even eight hundred years later, it had never changed, and Feng Xin actually remembered. Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.

Ok, but like from everything I saw thus far, I felt like Hua Cheng just REALLYYY didn't care for anyone unless they somehow helped him in one way or another to be powerful or eradicate something harmful, which in turn would keep Xie Lian safe/happy, but seeing him checking Guzi's forehead for a fever was def a surprise? But maybe he just did it cuz he knows Xie Lian cares for him? Dunno, but it's def curious

UMMMM???

“What happened to Mu Qing? How did it come to this???”

UMMM SOMEONE ANSWER PLS???? WHY IS MY BABY BEING HELD CAPTIVE??? WHY IS MY PRECIOUS BOI BEING ACCUSED OF A FAULTY ASCENSION???? STOP I DIDN"T NEED HIM TO COME BACK LIKE THIS T-T

I miss book 1

oh wait, no one can answer cuz Ling Wen ruined the communications of the upper court lol

ok. OK.

LisTEn

I reaaaaallllyyyyy like Feng Xin and Mu Qing ijbfeijfilqi like Feng Xin is trying to help him out while he's in trouble, even though they got the 'rivalry' and everything???? Ya'll really telling me he got NO feelings for him???? HUh???? EXBLAIN THIS?????

stop i LOVE him, i WILL CRY HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS

That was true, only because “helping out of kindness”, “loving and protecting children”, “doing good without leaving a name”, in everyone’s minds, these were all things Mu Qing would never do. Mu Qing had always been “lonesome”; he never showed any unnecessary kindness, and didn’t really make any intimate friends in the heavens. Now that something had happened, no one would believe him even if he tried to argue, and naturally there was no one to speak on his behalf. This was probably why he chose to run away and investigate the truth himself.

but like you are Wrong (WITH A CAPITAL W), there is SOMEONE who believes him and he goes by the name of Feng Xin ;)

-------

haha man I loved these chaps! It's really bring back the book 1 vibes and oh boi, it's been so long since things got so light hearted!

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #tgcf spoilers #heaven’s official blessings #heaven's official blessings spoilers #fengqing #xie lian #qi rong #tgcf journey #ch 137-139 #feng xin #mu qing

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twewy-comix · 4 years ago

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x4 me to die - let’s watch the twewy anime

oh yeah wow the sub timing’s really bad lol. good thing im a fast reader! (and i also have ears)

oh nooooo he mistakes someone else for shiki ;;; theyre really cranking up the pain of some of these scenes to 11

ok so ive been slowly trying to get through final remix, which is easier said than done because im old now and the controls do a number on my wrist. anyway i had to fight one of those rhino things and totally forgot you have to aim at its ass. but it turns toward you whenever you hit it anyway? goddamn fucking rhinos

alright, fun story, i didnt play twewy right when it came out because i was a baby who needed my mom and dad to buy games for me. but my VERY FIRST memory of it is wondering why the fuck this person i followed (uhh “watched”?) on deviantart kept saying “zetta slow xDDD” what does that mean, what’s slow, more like zetta annoying as shit

my opinion has not changed.

and now i have money to spend on games and mountains of sho beanbags

iiyo

so they had josh call him “neku” twice before asking his name in the DS NA version, edited that out of the switch NA version, but now it’s back here

our normal friend josh! also he slow claps lmao

alright, i was wondering how they were gonna do this--actually imo the first scan happening by accident like this makes more sense to me than the game’s “just scan me if you dont trust me” “i know that won’t work (does it anyway)”

.......but now i wanna know how the other josh scans will work out? in the game he could do it, like, secretly from afar, but is he gonna be like “hey bro dont mind me just gonna platonically touch your shoulder and stare into space for a bit, as bros do”

more foreshadowing! ok well it’s more like straight up “these two are players now” but yeah

there it is, the line that sparked years of twewy conspiracy theories

(...from me. are they gonna elaborate on this in neo?? I HAVE TO KNOW)

bro we all know youre like 40

one time i trespassed visited a junkyard with my dog and she kept jumping into all the junked cars because she wanted to go for a ride. it was adorable.

OH NO! OH GOD! ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT THESE THINGS WERE JUST IN THE UG BUT EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM??? #CRINGE #CRINGE #CRINGE

it’s too much. my rage has dissipated into solemn acceptance. all i can think of to say is “ouch” and “this is really sad”

(and “wooh! w”)

these guys are cringing too

OH RIGHT I ALMOST FORGOT, i didnt mention it before but the reaper grunts’ designs have changed, and someone pointed out that the red ones’ is really similar to neku’s new design in neo

chain necklace, mask, v-neck, hoodie

this has some unfortunate implications!!! (i mean assuming it IS neku, which we dont actually really know yet)

anyway

koko de 4ne

(the subs dont even try to translate the goroawase... a blessing or a curse? u decide)

[insert really gory sfx here]

but no blood? that’s weird. do players not have blood?? or maybe someone stepped on a burger or something. anyway this guy’s hella dead

then sho tries to make everyone kill each other???????? but neku’s like “dont listen to that asshole” and theyre like “ok”

...yo that’s totally the mus rattus shopkeeper on the bottom left there

gee thanks for the gamefaqs josh wouldve been useful a few days ago

oh nvm there’s violence anyway. “what no, purple hoodie guy, purple hoodie guy no”

BRO????

okay well now kariya and uzuki are summoning rhinos too. rhinos all over the goddamn place. goodbye, yumi sheena

subs leave out number puns: thank you

subs translate “follow my lead” “screw that” differently: noooo whyyyy i hate funimation :’( :’( :’(

in the game neku tells josh what happened to shiki and he’s like “happens all the time who cares lol”

here, josh already knows makes a lucky guess. because it happens all the time.

normal friend josh!

five hours

yknow what, yeah, considering sho’s characterization here, he probably did want them to just murder the winner for the gold pin

--oh wait no this isnt the gold pin mission. but still

“i stole it :)”

shopping tutorial’s moved way ahead to here. clearly this is foreshadowing josh’s princess umbrella, which will prove invaluable in the final battle

man i wonder who’s responsible for making all that taboo noise? it’s a mystery

ugh, anime is full of male gaze :///

OH OKAY THIS IS DIFFERENT

zowee

yooree

♫ there’s our friend, our normal friend, there’s our normal pal josh ♫

♫ he’s a normal guy, with red glowing eyes, he likes to think about how neku dies ♫

what an awkward situation! luckily beat is here to punch neku in the face to break the ice, as well as neku’s jaw

and... uh... then he leaves. the end

♫ normal guy, breaks glass with his mind ♫

bonus:

#i hate you... but i love you... but i hate you...#twewy spoilers/#this took way too long because tumblr fuckery sry

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lost-in-jessiland · 3 years ago

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Jeff From Omegle

You're now chatting with a random stranger.

You: hey

Stranger: Hi

You: whats up

Stranger: M 19

Stranger: Im fine

Stranger: U ?

You: sweet I'm a woman and I'm 10 years older than you. hows life kid?

Stranger: Eh well im growing up

You: how so?

You: I need life advice

Stranger: Feels like life ahead is gonna be hard

Stranger: From me

Stranger: Okay shoot

Stranger: I will try

You: just like what do you mean by growing up? I feel like i need to grow up

You: but what is growing up lol

Stranger: Im figuring it out lol 😅

Stranger: U tell me

You: okay fine, do you work? lol

Stranger: Nope Student

You: major?

Stranger: Electrical

Stranger: Engineering

You: oh so what do those guys do? lol fix laptops or build rockets?

Stranger: Nah Just build system which keeps flow of electricity

You: like what lol

Stranger: Yupp thats true

Stranger: Its sucks

You: it sounds hard lol

You: i didnt go to college

Stranger: Oh

Stranger: Hey can ask u something

You: yeah always

Stranger: A relationship advice

You: okay hit me

Stranger: Are u married ?

You: no lmao

Stranger: Okay

Stranger: When do i know i found that person

You: when you've seen someone at their worst but still think they are amazing. still think they are beautiful.

You: not like grumpy morning, i mean pressures on, balls to the wall at their worst.

Stranger: Damn Wow thats some very mature stuff there

You: haha well thanks

Stranger: Thanks for enlightening me

Stranger: Lol

You: oh i do my best

You: ill be here all week

You: $.25 enlightenments

You: just need ur social security and moms maiden name and I can enlighten your day!

Stranger: 😂😂😂

Stranger: Ur funny

Stranger: Hey u wanna ask something ?

You: thanks. thats my strong suit

You: and whats that young grasshopper

Stranger: U said before u needed a advice

You: nope I just need advice on life. like omg I am a mess

You: you have no idea little one. stay in school and get a good job. find you a beautiful, loyal hunny and settle down lol

You: parties are bogus

You: lol can you build a time machine?

Stranger: Man feels like u had a hard past

You: absolutely not

You: My life aint tragic, thank you for askin

Stranger: Ohh

You: yeah lmao I a mess is all

Stranger: How so

You: omg lemme tell you what

Stranger: Is it a relationship ?

You: what? no? lol its the wrinkles

You: men don't rule girl world lol

You: if youre a smart girl

Stranger: Ohhhh

You: yeaaaaaaaaa

You: is u a virgin?

Stranger: Ahh

Stranger: Well yup

You: i'm sorry grasshopper, but maybe you do a party

You: get out there and put ur dick in something

You: male female it dont matter just perferrably human

Stranger: Well that's the plan

Stranger: 😂😂

Stranger: Ur funny

You: again thank you

Stranger: When did u lost ur Virginity

You: psshy

You: I was 17

You: blow jobs werent enuf anymore

Stranger: Damn

You: after a year I had to give it up

You: or this slut Robbi was gonna steal him

You: her name is ROBBI thats a boys name who sleeps with a chick named after a dude

You: i bet robbi would sleep with you

Stranger: Hahaha 😂

You: for free too

Stranger: Oh thanks thats a very generous offer there

You: shes like a year younger than i am

You: tho she has had twins

You: but hey find a wall and stick to my friend

Stranger: Where u from

Stranger: Us ?

You: the great united states

You: wby

You: you seem like a canadian

Stranger: Israel

You: omg

You: whyyyy

Stranger: Im original from Europe

You: i thought you were cool

You: ughhh Jeff, can I call you Jeff?....Jeff this sucks

You: why Jeff why?

Stranger: 😂😂

Stranger: Yeah go for it

You: Listen Jefffffff

You: dont hack my computer okay

You: I have lots of sick porn you dont wanna see

You: and some pretty awesome cat pics too

You: my cats are awesome'

You: Jeff you would love them

Stranger: I love cats

You: Captain Kush and New Jack are their names

You: they are the best things ever

Stranger: Wow

You: but if you get close they will claw you

You: cause they only like americans

Stranger: Cats are the most cuttest and adorable animal on this planet

You: they are racist cats

You: :/

Stranger: 😂

Stranger: Yeah is that so

You: oh yess

You: if you wear your head cover, they will make sure to rip it to shreds'

You: they wanna see your forhead

You: they get sus when they cant see ur forehead

Stranger: I can imagine that

You: yeah

Stranger: Lol

You: do you like foreheads

You: jeff do u like forheads

Stranger: Yup

Stranger: Its a kink or something lol

You: foreheads are your kink

You: jeff are you lying to me

You: jeff dont lie to me

You: we have a history jeff

You: listen jeff

Stranger: Sup

You: dont lie about kinks

You: those are serious stuff

Stranger: Whats ur ?

You: huh?

Stranger: Im kidding

Stranger: U don't have to answer

You: you didnt ask me anything Jeff

You: Try google translate that shit is legit

Stranger: Ok

You: whats ur ? Jefffffah

You: ?????????????

Stranger: Hmmm

Stranger: Idk

You: whatever Jeff

You: You can Call me other Jeff

You: okay

You: Jeff?

Stranger: Hey other jeff

You: thats my kink

Stranger: Wtf 😂

Stranger: Wow

You: what is other Jeff wearing

You: ;)

Stranger: U asking me ?

You: yeah what am I (other Jeff) wearing when you picture other Jeff?

Stranger: Wait a min

Stranger: Its confusing

You: okay anyting for Jeff

Stranger: Im jeff

Stranger: Lets call u Larry

You: yes and I am other Jeff

You: no

You: thats not sexy

You: I AM OTHER JEFF

Stranger: Okay fine

Stranger: Haha

You: ;)

You: yessss

You: that makes other Jeff happy

You: and horny

You: happy horny other Jeff

Stranger: U horny ?

You: other Jeff is so horny for Jeff

You: thinking about sweating forheads while Jeff thinks of what to say next makes me wanna wipe it off with my hand and make Jeff lick it off of other Jeff's hand.

You: then you can lick the sweat off of other Jeff's forehead

Stranger: Man that's Gross

You: you

You: said

Stranger: Really

You: forheads

You: were your

You: kink

Stranger: Nah

You: other Jeff was trying to be sexy for Jeff

You: the fuck

Stranger: Thast gross 😂

You: DON'T make me GET THE SLUT PADDLE

Stranger: Okay

You: so lick the forehead sweat Jeff

You: or other Jeff will spank you

Stranger: That sounds gross

You: okay fine what syour real kink then

You: JEFF

You: dont lie this time

You: fucker

You: other Jeff can be real sexy

Stranger: Hey can i ask u something?

You: anything Jeff

You: u know that

Stranger: Hey can i ask u something ?

You: omg yes

Stranger: Its kinda sexual

You: yes Jeff

You: JEFF

You: YES GIVE ME THAT QUESTION YES

You: JEFFFF

Stranger: How does a pussy taste like

Stranger: The fluid

You: BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

You: hahahaha

You: AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

You: hahahhahahhahahah

You: hahahhahah

You: og

You: DEAR LORD JESUS HELP JEFF

help him see the light

Stranger: Yeah pls

You: you are the worst man I have ever met

Stranger: My pleasure

You: bow to God and beg that he forgives you JEff

You: Jeff

Stranger: Will do

You: may I ask a question?

Stranger: Shoot

You: what do you think pussy juice tastes like Jeff?

Stranger: I dk

You: guess stupid

Stranger: Sweet sour ish ?

You: okay then it tastes sweet sourish Jeff, Hope you like those Sour Patch Kids

cuz thats what ur in for Jeff

You: you honestly got boring so fast Jefff like ugh . why? you suck at being a towel head.

You: islamijeff

You: orwhereeveryousaidurfrom

Stranger: Im not

You: likeugh

You: ihateyoujeff

You: istgihateyou

You: omg

Stranger: Bye then

You: i love you

You: dont leave me

Stranger: Me too

You: you love me JEFF

You: wil you move to america and be with me JEff

Stranger: Nah im bored . Thanks for talking .

You: go to the airport and say my name is Jeff

other Jeff has paid my ticket to Merica.

Stranger: Bye byee

You: b

Stranger has disconnected.

#omegle strangers chatroulette funny jeff troll forlaughs

8 notes · View notes

tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago

Text

immj2 09.04.21 lb

vansh's dumb ass rushing off to that random address he saw. like......... are you even checking on google maps ki kya area hai, is it conducive to having a secret person stashed there as a hostage? pata chala udhar tak pohunch gaye aur ek big bazaar hai.

ishani tripping riddhima as she runs into the house. such middle school bitchidity.

and now some interrogation of really wtf are you and vansh bhai upto all the time, coz no normal ppl can understand wtf your relationship dynamic is anymore.

blah blah some dhamki on dadi ko pata challllllllllll gaya toh??????

idc about this scene except for ishani looking hot af. i love her shirt dress and red lipstick. style icon.

anyway riddhima promises answers in 24 hours and fucks off.

lol vansh reached destination and from the looks of it, it's an empty lot. lmaooooooooooooo, fucking idiot. pehle hi bola tha maine, check kar udhar hai kya.

riddhima meanwhile steals the black box, which changes how it looks every single day.

calls vyom and is like i did my part of the deal, now your turn. they arrange the drop.

lmao vansh comes home to empty safe. follows her as she goes and dumps it in the recycling bins and tells vyom to pick it up.

hoodie waale kisine aake pick up kar diya. which i'm sure is not vyom, but angre/someone else instead.

ew vansh rootin around in the garbage bin for the box. sees it's gone and is all smirkily "INTERESTINGGGGGGG VERYYYYYYYY INTERESTINGGGG" about it. ok either box iske aadmi ne uthaaya hai ya woh asli waala black box nahi tha. warna yeh itna khush nahi hota.

ugh siya is video calling vyom and all WHYYYY CAN'T I COME SEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU?!?!!? i promiseeeee i won't disturb you while you work, i'll just keep looking at you and listening to you. what the ever loving fuck? behen, the relationship you're describing is the one ppl have with animals in zoos. yuck i actually cannot watch this shit man, i'm fwding.

anyway riddhima walks in hearing his voice from siya's room. ek toh yeh kaun bewakoof hai jo apne secret bf se BINA HEADPHONES ke baat karta hai? ffs, 6th graders doing aashiqui better than these fucks.

riddhima yelling at siya about getting involved with shunya circle zero man, while siya yelling back about how did YOUUUUUU see my earring with him, why are YOUUUU meeting him huh?!!?? and vyom is just there on the call like

riddhima trying to warn siya ki he's not a good man............. sis kabhi apne relationships ko dekha hai???? you're running on full 100% in the dept. of having romantic relationships with psychopathic men who try to injure/kill you on a weekly basis.

asdkjsakjdhksajdhksajhdkj i honestly am vyom in this sitch, who's enjoying this convo to the maxxxxxxxx. zoom call par baithe kisi aur ke ghar ka kalesh dekhne ka mazzzaaaa hi kuch aur hai.

angre losing his mind about riddhima stealing the box and vansh is all cool which meansssss........ nakli tha. for sure. shoulda known when we saw it looked diff itself.

lmaooooooooooooooo black box ko orange paint kar ke rakha hua hai iss chutiye ne. and he's bragging about how no one can open it without the key.

meanwhile peeth pe key waali didi andar jhaank ke spying kar rahi hai, as per usual.

kabir over here like main riddhima riddhima chillaaunga, banyaan phaad ke........... guard has had enough of his shit and tells him to stfu.

someone from outside hears this chillam-chilli and calls the police. wow, a responsible citizen, in this show?????????? unbohlievable.

cut to riddhima walking into bedroom (in whole new outfit; huh??? is it a whole other day suddenly?????) which is decorated like a mixture of a grade school on valentine's day + the set of a suhaag raat porno, lmao. husband is also in here, in his red velvet suit, giving her bhaaaaari sex eyes.

riddhima's thinking lagta hai issko pata nahi chala ke maine naak ke neeche se box udaa liya, warne yeh saare phool meri arthiiii pe chadhte.

this b has some nerve talking to siya about her "dangerous relationship" with that shirtless bhopuuuu player when her own husband/said chick's elder brother is a quasi-murderer they live with.

LMAO THEIR WHOLEASS BED IS GONE. ABHI SESK KAHAAN KAROGE? IS CHHOTE SE DINING TABLE PAR? ouff, they must still be in their 20s if they don't require proper lumbar support.

gives her a rose, ofc she pricks herself on a thorn, and nowwwww.... he's sucking on her finger. I'M SORRY THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC OR SEXY AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLL. SHE DIDN'T EVEN WASH HER HANDS AFTER COMING INTO THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!! FUCKERS GONNA START SOME INCURABLE PANDEMIC OF THEIR OWN LIKE THIS.

she's all ohohohoho dard bhi tum, dawa bhi tum huh? and he's like yeah babyyyyyyyyyy, coz tum poori ki poori meriiiiiii ho.

ok the sexy is getting scary now. as is on par with this fucker. never a moment where heart rate can be at resting rate with him. and not in a good way.

she's telling him she wants to tell him something, give him some surprise....... and he's like.... ok? and they slow dance while making shakki faces at each other's back.

kabirrrrrrr stillllllllll screaming for riddhima. guard finally calls her and makes him speak to her. she's like bitch tf you want i was about to get laidddddd.........

kabir suddenly in i love you i love you mode. shady. kal tak toh yeh gaana nahi chal raha tha??? *acp pradyuman hand motion* kuch toh gadbad hai.

whoopsssssssssss, police is here. guard is like fuck someone musta called hearing this dude's ruckus.

kabir is like mwahahahahahaha, your game is over now. police will find meeeeee and freeeeee meeeee.

lmaoooooooooo she talks to the police and says ki woh jo chila raha hai, mera mentally unstable bhai hai, toh bas...... inspector is like SAY NO MORE MA'AM, WE DON'T WANNA CHECK ON THE MENTALLY ILL, THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM, NOT AN US PROBLEM AS A SOCIETY, SO GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CRAZY BRO, BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

anyway she's like listen up kabir, my deal is over, i'll tell vansh the truth and then you'll be free. so part of the deal with vyom is to keep kabir locked up???????? hein? what even.........

kabir freaking out about riddhima telling vansh the truth, and keeps on saying he'll murder her........ DUDE WHAT THIS SORDID TRUTH ANYWAY IM SO DONE JUST OUT WITH IT ALREADY

vansh comes outta the bathroom shirtless and............... lollipop ladki is here sexily breaking wine glasses in his bedroom. zero boundaries up in this house. NONE WHATSOEVER.

ok sorry i'm not paying attn to anything being said rn coz

lollipop ladki is like why not we drink from one glass and he's like 🤨🤨🤨

wifey's here to spoil the party.

or to make it better????????? coz lol she's like make it three glasses of wine! won't you invite me to whatever's going on???? she looks waaaay more into lollipop ladki than vansh is, which would be the best possible development to riddhima's character.

vansh like hein aise kaise you stealing girl away from meeeeee, and telling lollipop girl ki why don't you and i just chug from the bottle?

cursory invitation to riddhima too.......... man, why is this giving heavy threesome vibes???

riddhima like "no thanks, mujhe do se zyaada hont ek bottle par achche nahi lagte." alksjdlaskjdlsakjdlsajkdlaksjdlka

vansh: achche toh mujhe bhi nahi lagte.

riddhima: par lagta hai tumhe toh kisi ke bhi chalenge.

OUCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

lmaoooooooo now these two are just having their own petty pati-patni fight filled with vague statements about trust and misunderstandings, and lollipop girl is just here like

precap: riddhima about to tell vansh the whole truth or whatever, when vyom calls and is like wtf you gave me a fake black box. riddhima and vansh are once again fighting about truth and dhoka and like.......... bro. idc anymore. someone take your shirt off to make this worth my while.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

9 notes · View notes

just-some-random-blogger · 5 years ago

Text

December Dates

Seventeen Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, boyfriend!svt is here to take you on a date. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, crackkkkkk, v many typos,etc.

R E Q U E S T

my friend: seventeen + cute

A/N: HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU HOS (jk) HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Also ashdiepl because im writing on a tab, i couldnt add any gifs so aksjemksksmsksksmskskdk alsO im so sorry i dont remember if the request is platonic or nah but kaksksksk this is what u get soz

-----

Alright

So no gifs

Imma just do a header real quick so u know wassap

S. Coups

Das better

hi header

I might delete u later if i get on a pc

But firsT seuNgcheEolL

*deep breath*

Ho u lucky enough to breath the same air he does

N now u are on aa date with him

WoWw

So bf!seungcheol is a cute lil snowflake

Which means he'll buy u an ugly ass Christmas sweater and matching gloves

THAT MATCHES THE ONES HE BOUGHT FOR HIMSELF OFC

then yall go out and play in the powdery snow outside

ImGine seungcheol grabbing yOuR hand

cebAuse u a dumb loser that slips on nothing

Also warmth

pulling your scarf up a bit because he can tell you're getting cold

Then like a gentleman

will pUSH U INTO THE SNOW

AND START A FRICKIN SNOW WAR

HE'll hit ur dumb face he dont care

He'll maKe u wish u Stayed damn home

Rapid fire frikin snow granades man

Course iz all a bita fun

Then he'll let u win

Cause he does care Bout ur dumb Fce

Also he soft for u gross

Then once that's done he'll start laughing

Not because of post-snow ball fight adrenaline

But because he thinks himself so funny

When he busts a lung screaming "dO Ya wana biLd aSNOEMAN!!!!!"

AND THEN U decline and leave him in the snow

"YAAAAA WE HAVE TO BUILD A SNOWMAN THOUGH!" he'll laugh

U literally wana leave him and his annoying ass

U stomp away

He laughs and goes after u

His hot breath is visible

and hits your ear when he comes up and wraps his arms around you from behind

U be like, "listen stupid, u corny af, lets break up"

Seungcheol would pout and kiss ur cheek, "nah, u still owe me hot choco. Break up with me after paying me back."

"Ew, why would i pay u back tho"

"Uh cause if you don't imma do thisss," then he proceeds to shove u into the snow again

"CHOI. SEUNG. CHEEOOOLLLLLLLLLLALAKAKAOKS!"

Ok well i have to cut this here first cos there are 12 boys left

Oh Hi hello u here back to ur regular programme

Jeonghan

Yiz

Unlike cheol

Dis ho not about to get cold 4 u uhm

Leave the cold for someone else

But get warm together

I mean

Wink wINKkkkk

Jk gtfo

This is a wholesome headcanon

Git warm he would gladly

So u know what dat means

CUddlEs

Imagine cuddling jeonghan

BoIii

It's da holidays

Which mean he bout to get dat $$$leep

Of course u dont mind that ur just sleeping in

Gurl if ya do

Let me stress out

If you mind sleeping in and cuddling with yoon jeong han

GUrL

Wathu doin????

AnYWAY

ITz u and him right

Ur in bed reading the novel he got u beforehand right

Look at u looking cute in knit sweater and glasses

EVEN IF U DONT NEED THEM THERE ARE GLZSSES

IM TRYING TO MAKE A SCENE HERE WORK WITH ME

it could be jeonghan's ur using it as a headband shhhh

So like ur sitting down

N beside u its jeonhan v slightly snoring

Right right right

Then ur like "man i want something to eat cause i've been sitting here reading all day"

But also ur always hungry

Cause who isnt tho lol

ANYWAY UR ABOUT TO STZND UP

but jeonghan like a needy ho is like noooooooooooodontgo

N ur like

aww wat a needy ho

"Jeonghan im just gonna get something to eat"

"Eat laterrr, i need u now"

He'll keep his eyes shut and shimmy over

Securing an arm on your hip so u wont go

U roll ur eyes and put your book away on the cabinet next u

"Jeonghan ive literally been next to u since last night. I'm just gonna get something to eat, and 4 u 2!"

He'll flutter his eyes open only to close them and move even closer to place his head on ur lap

"I dont want toooooo"

U roll ur eyes again and shimmy out of his grip

But only to get into his arms and hide your face in his chest

"You're so needy," u note

"Says you who's tangling themselves on me"

"Touché"

Joshua

Okay

Get this

Joshua and gingerbread houses

He probably used to build one growing up

And he has just the person in mind he wants to rekindle the tradition with

Congrats u filthy animal

So he took the liberty of getting allll u and he would need

And so much more

Im talking chocolate bars

Shipped cream

Candy canes

Busicuits

Edible glitter

Gum drops

Shrek 1 2 3 4

Is there a four

Im too lazy to google it

And omg u so special to him he loves u so much

Screw u

He wants to share the love with the carats

So he vlives it all

And at first ur shy

Like what if the joshua stans come 4 u

Ok but in this story yall had already annouce ur relationship

AND EVERYONE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE COOL WITH IT FFS LET UR FAVES DATE WHOEVER THEY WANT ISTG

Joshua is like "noo don be shy they'll all love u"

(':

N ur like ok cos i love u sm

But not like the company sm tho *barfing noises*

So yall build a gingerbread house and do a whole ass tutorial about it

Except u dont

Cause yal are morons and could stop messing up or earing the ingredients along the way

Sorry honey ur morons i dont make the rules

"Stop eating the marshmallows!"

"U literally finished the bowl of mnms tho Joshua!"

"Uh no that was the gingerbread man,"

ANd then u all bicker like children because u are omfl

And it excalates

fooD FIGHT

U smear cream on joshuas face

He sprinkles sprinkles on ur head

U press graham crackers against either of his cheeks and ask him what he is

"A sexy graham sandwich"

"Ew no wrong answer," u reply

Can i just point out that that chocolate syrup stain is never coming off

*cough cough cough moron cough cough*

Jun

Imma bout to yeet

Junhui is also feeling nostalic

super soft super baby

And since he's probably feeling bit homesick somewhere in there

he thinks he can remedy it with a bit of chinese home cooking!!!

And whiney needy cuddles also yay

Moving on so

Will it be good?

Damn straight

itll be fikin delish

Will you try to to help him

Of course u gotta help ur man

But like duh

u have eyes

And seeing him all focus and busy and hot

Is really distracting

So like ur as useful as a broken button to him

He doesnt mind tho

He thinks ur cute

Also lovng the attnstion

But the thing about not helping

Not really

And being distracted by a cutie pie

Is that it's basicaly a disaster ending to happen so like

he's efficiently stirring up so hot stuff right

And ur like "man jun's some hot stuff"

And then BaaaaM

U knock over the damn chopping board with the knife and everything on it

Thank goodness the thing didn't chop through your foot of anything

And jun is like "oHMYGOSH DA HELL R U OK"

"... i- im sorry i knocked over ur potatoes"

"My poTaToeS! Listen rn im glad u didnt chop ur foot off"

Jun sighs and looks at the cubes of taters scattered on the floor

You frown, feeling useless

Both of u pick up ur mess

Jun puts down the kitchen utensils in hand

u picked up the last of the potatoes

"Hey we could always wash those, it's not like the floor is mud or anything, even then , potates came from mud"

"Yeah but im sorry, i wanst really helping in the first place"

Jun smirks, "nonsense! U were feeding my ego! That's enough for me!"

You snort and jun comforts u with a tight embrace

Hoshi

AlrighT fam

I thought of something pretty cute but pretty dumb for hoshi

He's like "imma do something super romantic for Christmas"

So he's like "wear something cute we gon do smth fun" @ u

So u do

U get a cute little red dress just for the occasion

And soonyoung his like "BRO MY GIRL SO SUPER CUTE"

And ur like a blushing mess cause he looks super excited with his big smile and cresent eyss

ahhh Hhh myHOSishiii fealzssmsmmsms

Anyway u think ur gonna go to some cute restaurant right

But hoshi brings u to the mall

To instead join the couples dancing contest

Soonyoung gets super nervouse at ur surprised reaction

He's like, "omg is this a super bad idea i thought it would be cute but like i guess not we dont have to go we could always just drop out"

You laugh and shake ur head, "no it's all good, but i mean like, we don't have a choregraphy, and im not like you who can just break it down."

Soonyoung lets out a breath and chuckles, "nah don't worry. It's not really a compation-competion, and regardless, they're going to show ius a choreo and the couple that best interprets wins a a romantic date for two, fit for a dancing king and queen"

And then u break into a big uwu

"Omg u are super romantic soonyoung"

He struts a pose and chuckles, "i mean, i try"

So you both participate in the contenst

Kinda zumba it out by folling the instructors

Soonyoung is helping you out with your form and explaining to you the steps

He gets a little competative so he doesn't really want to mess us

Up hearing you giggle when you do a s pin breaks his competative spirit

And all he really cares about is having a good time with you

Aleight

But admitedly

He was pretty annoyed when they annouced the winner

Were not the two off you

i mean you lot were the cutest it can gt

Who else could trump that

But then you both saw that the winners were 80 something yesr olds holding hand and looking at each other like the other was their world

and then soonyoung was like "okay valid"

You pout, "aww i hope we end up like that"

Soonyound and you turn to each other

He grins for ear to ear, "then lets go on a romantic date as well"

"I thought you'd never ask"

Wonwoo

LiNda

I hope you're ready for wonwoo

Because i sure as hell am not

So in case youre wondering

Youre crazy I mean youre reading this arent you

Prolly at midnight hi fam

Again i dont make the rules

Well just a btw Almost every

Christmas tradition is pagan

Like the tree

The wreath

And SANTA IS SO CREEPY YALL NEED TO GET UR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM

SO MAYbe ur not all that crazy

For not wanting to continue them on

i mean sure u can give new meaning to things

But you wanted none of that

Which was whyyyy you decided to DIY the decorations to your entire house

Nnd who else are you going to do that with other than your loving bb boyfriend wonwoo

Wonwoo doesn't mind

He thinks its cute

Because it is a cute date idea

Youtube tutorials

Pinterest ideas and paper snowflakes and all

Yeah

so wonwoo is there cutting up some of the paper you folded

You're glueing some popsicle sticks

He's water coloring some designs in

Youre pulling on the tape dispenser

It's all going great

"Jagiya... i don't want to sound mean but-"

"They're all ugly as hell. I know Wonwoo."

Wonwoo gives an apologetic look.

For a moment u two dont speak

And then you both brust into laughter

"Aww whatever, lez stick em on!"

And do you get your badly painted slowflakes

Your wolf drawing

"That's a wolf?"

"Duh what else would it be wonwoo?"

The letters that spelled merry chrsitmas

And the doodle cutouts of the seventeen members

in personalized ugly sweaters

And placed them all over the place

You look around basking in the glory of ur craft

Its all very colorful

And crafty

And looking like a child made it

Then like an imbecile

U break into laughter

"It looks like a kindergartener's classroom"

U end up roasting yourself

Making fun of your sloppy handwork

And wonwoo watches u

with adoring eyes

"I almost forgot," wonwoo speaks up and pulls out a piece of paper

You recive it from him and break into a smile

"Is this us?"

Wonwoo snorts, "no its jeonghan hyung in a dress holding my hand sweetheart"

For a moment u believe him

But then he breaks out into laughter

Woozi

Boi imma fite u

Christmas carols

Okay idek why i ended up so serious with wonwoo

But listennup

Im not about to maypke it crackier

so back to christmas carols

Dis boi is about to serande you with a christmas themed love song

So its around 8pm at night

Jihoon has is guitar

and ur just chilling right

and ur on ur phone letting him do his thing

but then from the floor he was sat on

he turns to you on the couch

And pats ur leg

"Yo i just finished my song u wann hesr"

You squeak and jump of the couch next to him

"Duh dummy!"

And he starts singing

He's talking about stars and warmth

He's spittin fire about the smell of hot choco

The he's talking sbout how lame joshua's gingerbread house was

Next thing you know ur crying

because omg that ginger bread houseWAS UGLY

also jihoooooooooooooon just serenaded you

Dont u just

Then jihoon catches you and panicks

"You okay? Why are you cryin?!"

"HowDARS YOU ASK ME THAT LISTEN UP U JUST SAID SOME SWEET WORDS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!"

JIHOON CALms down

But u crybaby cant stop crying

and of course jihoon panicks again

So he starts singing some other Christmas song

And then u start crying about poor rudolf

And remember regina george

But then eventually you calm down

And decide to nuzzle up against jihoon who replaced his guitar with you in his arms

Then us fall asleep with him sweetly singing about the spirit of Christmas

Liz gittit

Of course this ray of light just wants to give off energy to the world

And since he

And u u forgetful ass

Forgot to go shopping for presents

You decided to go on a dec 24th shopping trip!

Hurrah!

But it was too eady for u two

Like wtf

Gift giving Is suuch and easy task

And shoping a day before Christmas

pshhhhhhh

Its a heartbeat

"Whoever gets the best gifts gets for the best price gets to boss the other around until new year," seokmin grins

You knit your brows deeply at his words

And wonder what the hell he has in plan for him to think of doing something so ensnaring

So being the smarter one in the relationship

"Uh no??"

Seokmin was like "ok then the other has to do whatever the other says for the entirety of Christmas"

"???? Whyyyyy?"

"Because its not challengeing or fun if there isn't any condition" "Ugh fine"

So the two of you zip around looking for the best gifts you could get

You try to stay away from the people doing their last minute shopping

Seokmin doesnt dare go in between an old lady mouthing of another customer

Tbh its super stressful

wtf

what kind of date is this

Only morons would do this wtf

Both of you got shoved constantly

There wasnt really much space to move around

And there wasnt really anything to choose from

But hey guess what

Seokmin found some really cool gifts

"Daheck did u get that shirt?"

"Isle five. There were a bunch of people grabbing some stuff and this fell to the ground and so i picked it up and thought it was pretty cool"

You on the other hand got like ok gifts

I mean theyre not bad

But da hell did dk get a frikin eeyore onesie idek

It was no contest.

Seokmin defo won

"Yisss so i win therefor u have to make me some Christmas cookies tomorrow"

"U ho did u really just make me suffer through that so you could ask me to make cookies 4 u???"

"Yes but we really didn have gifts tho."

U roll ur eyes

Seokmin's face falls, "r... r u like mad @ me?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh"

You knit your brows at him but release a smile when u see his nervous look

"No babo. Im jusy tired, lezgo back home"

He sighs and nods, kissing your cheeks

"Dont worry baby, ill carry all of this back home"

Which he does

And when u get back

He says he forgot something in the car

then comes bzck

And then forcefully turns u around

Ur about to protest

But the you realize he's putting on a silver necklace on u

"Yahhhh seokminie, u shouldnt have. Where you even get this"

"I bought it a while back, duh" he chuckles then kisses you on the cheek

"Merry christmas jagi"

Mingyu

You are a genius for getting boyfriend like mingyu

uh and super lucky like fu--

BUT TODAY

Ur extra glad that mingyu is 10ft tall

Because ur going to be decorating your very own tree

Wow

You bought he prettiest glass ornamnets

and the sparkliest streamers

"I have a vision," u explain

Mingyu nods in understanding

U and him lift the tree into the living room

And then u start decorating the tree from the bottom up

Its all rly chill

You lot are chatting about whatever

He's tellling you about ur tour n stuff

U put on some Christmas tunes for flare

And then u stand up from the floor and boogey with each other

Yall shake ur butts

and go around the tree wrapping it in tinself

Mingyu steals one of the ornaments from u

and u try to take it back from him like the genius u are

Except hes holding it over his head

N u cant for the life of u reach his hand up there

So u step on his foot

And punch his stomach

And he bends down in reaction

In pain

Soz

He was asking for it

U steal the decor back

Then he proceeds to chase u around because aparently ur the bully

*instert pikachu meme here*

N then u get back towork

Or i mean take a break

And u eat a bunch of holiday special junk

And then u get back to work

"ok nows for the star"

U hand him the star because its the entire point of his existance

getting that star up ther

with his longass arms

He turns to u "u dont wanna put it"

BOI

u suck in a breath

"I cant frIKICN REACH IT U LIL"

He give a face, "there are ways"

"My go-- just put the AHHHHHHH"

AND THEN THE NEXT THING U KNOW

Hes crouching down pulling ur legs on his shoulders

"MINGYU PUT ME DOWN" you say, about to rip of his face

Mostly because u have nothi to hold onto

but he stands

with u on his shoulders

and walks to the tree

"Put the damn thing on before u fall!!"

Wow its ur fault again

And screaming u put the star on

And mingyu putz u down

"Okay that was stressful"

U punch him in the gut again

The8

Minghao is super tired

But super looking forward to spending time with u

So u defintely go on a date

But its of the lazy movie watch variety

Im talking all the chesey romance movies

Set in december

that has like mistletoe kisses

And snow scenes

And also those holiday specials

For catroons

And non cartoons

Even the one with arnold swartzimacallit

You pull out the laptop

And get on netflix

There's popcorn on

And hot tea

Or whatever the hell

Its all just very warm

and u and minghao are wrapped together in a warm blanket

Ur nestled in between is legs and ur super warm and cozy and im so soft bleh

"Oh oh, u should see this part, its my fav--"

But u stop uourself when u turn and see minghao fell asleep

U coo and let him obvi

taking unflattering pictures duh

But also cute ones because

#couplegoals

He doesn't sleep through all the movies though

You end up watching non christmas themed films too

Like toy story4

OKAY I CRIED AT THE ENDING

PIXAR IS REALLY COMING FOR MY WIG

"You look really cute cuddled up against me" he'll randomly blurt

U feel ur cheeks brun at that

but no he cant have that

"I thought i was always cute"

He chuckles and groans as he hugs u tightly

U laugh at his reaction

"Of course you're always cute"

"Ok but the teddy bear u got me is actually cuter"

"Nononono, the teddy is cute but uuu are cuter"

"Were u always this gross?"

Seungkwan

Okay

before u tell me these are getting worse and worse every passing member

i would first like to say i know

and that seungkwan bought u a cute dress for Christmas

and took u to a fancy restaurant

Ok ur welcome

But like even if it werent fancy

U'd still like it

cause holy guacamole

imagine holding seungkwans hand as u walk around

Jsut being so head over heels

and super in love with the cutie

Groooossss

LinDA

The feeling is mutual for him when he's around u

so he stops mid conversations

just to take ur pic

Its kinda annoyig

but kinda cute

"Hey unknow hansol told me about-- what are u doing"

"No go on, im just talking ur picture"

Literally the bst hype man alive

Will make take dozen upon dozen photos of u

And will make u pose for aethetics

He will go on making sure everyone knows u da hottest ho in the place

n ur like "seungkwan stfu u embarrassssing meee"

And then oml

Some moron tries to hit on u

and seungkwan sqwares up ready to hit a fool

would he actually do it i mean

prolly Not

but then again he looked really mad

So u calm him down

and u go bzck home

And the cuddles

"Baby girl im sorry if i embarrassed u"

"Nah itz chill i mean i know u have good intentions"

U smile and he takes another candid phto of u

"Broooooo!!"

"Im donnnr. Now hows about we get rid of that dress"

Vernon

okay im willing to guess hansol loves drinking hot chocolate in the winter

So he's like

"Lets do a hot choco review"

And buys 897 types of hot choco

Or like ten

wtf eight hundres pluss is too much

So ur like okay i like hot choco

and then he pulls out his phone and does a vlive

"No i am not jealous of joshua hyungs vlive with his gf"

Yall make like ten cups of hot choco

and is chaotic

Idek how u could get injured

But hey

It wasnt even the hot water invovled

but the wrapping of the choco powder

"Technical difficulties hansol is a big moron"

U get him a bandaid

"Ya! I am not"

Yall start reviewing anyway

*insert try guys eugenes voice*

Im rihght

Ur wong

Shut up

After trying the first onw

Ur like wow dis is good

the second was even better

The third one u hold

then u realized there were eight more cups

And that u made so

much

so u were like "omf there is too much "

then u debated whether or not calling seventeen to drink the rest

But then hansol was like "ther isnt enough for themm"

Then ur like

"okay whatabout making a super hotchoco"

n vernon was like

????

"THATS THE BEST IDEA UVE EVVER HAD"

SO YALL GET A BIGASS POT

MIX THE REST IN

REALIZE U HAVENT RATED THE other cups

Shrug it off

and get a cup of the hot choco mix

"Tastes like corn"

"Bish dafaq"

Dino

Yikes

Chan is a dumb ho

and got himself sick at Christmas so

nononoono thats a no to any cute date ideas

and its just you and him staying at home

U personally dont mind

but hes like "awww but i had so many ideas"

but obvi U cant risk him getting any sicker than he already is

So you stay home and take care of him

and all he can do is complain about everything

about the cold

his runny nose

The lack of taste of the food

His head ache

The fact his bed is hot

And that fact that u have to take care of him

And treat him like a baby

"I am not a baby"

"Listen up, u are always gonna be my baby"

"Not u toooooo najsjsjjs"

You make him some hot cocoa

And hes like "im not drinking that if u call me baby again"

"Babybabybabybabybaby"

Ugghgg "If you keep doing that im not going to give u the gift i gotchu"

"Well das on u"

And then u end up going ona glaring contest

Chan ends up giving it to u anyway

"i hope u choke on it" he grumbles with insencerity

U coo when u see that its a handwritten letter

And then u end up crying because hes super soft

N ur super soft

And gahhh u love him so much

Chan pats ur back because he doesnt want to get u sick if he hugs u

U sniffle and wipe ur eyes

"Who's the baby now, cry baby"

You snarl and pinch his side

And now i say

This was probably hecking bzd but i hope u enjoyed

merry CHRISTMAS

ITS MY FABORITE HOLiDAY

TAKE CARE Of urselves mwaah

Support me on ko-fi

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stayndays · 5 years ago

Note

Ok IM SAD daisy petals made me sad I sad why Minho whyyyy 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

im sorry T^T reading angst at midnight makes you do stuff like this lol

#anon

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bladekindeyewear · 6 years ago

Text

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 12 - Candy Page 18

==>

Time to see what all the fuss was about Page 18. We’re with Jane... that might not be good. Especially given Lollipop proximity.

Jane scoffing at troll genocide again. :(

Gamzee seems more woke than Jane here.

GAMZEE: sO yOu SaYiN yOu NeEd DiFfErEnT sHoEs FoR yOuR hUmAn DiCkS aNd WhAt NoT?

Pfffff

Jane narrows her eyes at the disingenuous buffoon.

I dunno, he sounds like he’s being pretty goddamn ingenuous right now.

It’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation? Are they black with each other or something??

What’s more likely is he’s attempting to get a rise from her. To get her a little hotter under the collar. To put her in a certain mood.

Oh my gosh she’s genuinely black for him, hahahahah

GAMZEE: AnD AlL I EvEr bEeN TrYiN To dO Is gEt yOu rIgHt tOo, WiTh mOrAlS AnD GoOdNeSs, AlL fIlLeD uP iNsIdE yOu As TiGhT aS yOuR tAsTy HoE bAlLoOnS aRe WiTh HuMaN mOo JuIcE.

Jesus christ that’s not the kind of metaphor i want to be hearing from canon

or anyone for that matter

JANE: No! I’d rather die than touch your disgusting clown baton ever again.

....yyyeah, context is showing she’s PROBABLY super Black into this. Still, pretty jarring to see a clear consensual “NO” right in the middle of things.

Quit calling her a dairy queen!!! D: D: D:

Oh god they named the baby Tavros.

Alright, there’s some grade A discomfort in this scene, which I’m enjoying, really. I can see why they singled out page 18. I could traumatize some people with some of these paragraphs out of context.

HOO HOO HOO, THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO THE DARK CARNIVAL!!!

Eeeeuugh

JAKE: Anyway whats up with you? Hows life with davekat going? JADE: oh its great! im really glad i just went for it JADE: all of us together... it really is the best of every world

God damnit Jade why are you obliviously torturing them????????

You could’ve been REALLY GOOD for them both if you just FUCKING LISTENED TO THEM AND RESPECTED THEM INSTEAD OF SITTING ON THEM.

JADE: theres no way me and dave could have a regular baby together because im... JAKE: Whats wrong? JADE: well lets just say that after all the sburb stuff its done some things to my body JADE: like merging with bec mostly

Oh my FUCKING GOD please don’t canonize this. This didn’t need to be spelled out so-- D:

jesus

D: D: D:

This... is actually making my stomach roil again????

not because id object to-- i mean, it’s one thing to deal with

FAN SCENARIOS

ISOLATED divergences from canon where she has to deal with that and its kind of hilarious, but can be safely ignored when it comes to her character arc as a whole

but once its CANON???????? D: D: D:

suddenly you can’t IGNORE the full import when you’re done with, like, an RP or something, of the psychological struggle she would be forced to deal with given an abnormal biological situation. Instead of thinking “Oh, that could be pretty painful to deal with! Let’s explore it temporarily for fun” it becomes “Oh, that would be painful to deal with and you have to think about her having to deal with all the complications of that whenever you hear about her LITERALLY FOREVER.” D:

andrew i know you couldnt resist because of how funny and practically-xenoprogressive it was but whyyyyyyyyy did you have to canonize that WHYYYY

Now instead of a fun joke thought it also has to be SAD FOREVER

AAAAAAAA D’:

i dont know why this would be the line thats crossed to upset me

Rose surrogate?

JADE: no jake, dave wouldnt be the father in this scenario!

Pffffff. Andrew’s just diving RIGHT into the, er, doggy fanfics here. I should... TRY to lighten up about this. Try. D:

(...wait, shit. Knowing my friend, THIS whole bit is why they alluded to this page. God damnit.)

[[ EDIT: askshenhibiki said:

Now that you read Candy 18, flash back to Meat when Roxy is talking about gender... and look at Jade's reaction looking at "where her hands rest on her lap". Yes, Meat hinted at that "mix" too.

Ah, let’s see...

ROXY: and so i got to thinking ROXY: what even is gender ROXY: amirite lol? JADE: oh yeah JADE: that makes sense i guess........

Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say. But I’ll refrain from any further comment. I’m staying away from this subject, from now on.

...yeah, guess Dirk at least had the decency not to spring all that on us before Jade got the opportunity to do it honestly. ]]

Guh, back to Jake suffering in his sad, trapped scenario. I hope THAT gets at least resolved by the end of this. Someone save Jake from this, because it looks like he’s not really that capable of saving himself?

==>

Dammit, Jade, I’m cringing at these descriptions of your intrusion.

Oh wow, John went for the mustache. Guess we knew that from, like, his stuffed statue oldself?

Jade doesn’t pick up on the obvious subtext in the conversation, however, because she’s been willfully undermining the subtext in her own personal life for nearly a year now.

D: D: D:

Seriously, Jade, how is what YOU’RE doing any better than what you were frustrated at seeing THEM doing, avoiding the real feelings and truth of anything even if it was conspicuously on body-language display?

KARKAT: THE NEW ADMINISTRATION IS CRACKING DOWN ON CERTAIN KINDS OF INTERSPECIES ADOPTION LAWS.

It’s like Andrew wants us deprived of even a happy imagined future for Earth C on top of everything else!!! What the hell! >:(

Is this about politics? Is Andrew just venting his anger that the Orange Guy is going to get away with ruining everything forever?? Because as understandable as that is, he could at least give us some imaginary happyfutures to look forward to.

Reading on... Hm, yet another intentionally-misused fridging reference.

KARKAT: HIS RELATIONSHIP IS A FLAMING WRECK OF AN INTERSTELLAR WARSHIP HURTLING TOWARDS THE PLANET AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WITH THE ENTIRE CREW BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED UPON REENTRY, SHOVED STRAIGHT DOWN THE CHAGRIN TUNNEL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHAT OUT THE OTHER SIDE, THUS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN IT CLOGS UP THE LOAD GAPER.

Yep, that triangle’s fucked. Wonder if the conversation’s going to transition to the CURRENT triangle’s problems...

...yeah, John using the R word there isn’t far from the fucking truth from the looks of things.

JADE: maybe that would work for a few days, but one thing i learned from dating around a lot in my youth is that no ones going to leave a bad relationship until its THEIR idea to leave

She takes in a shaky breath and shuts her eyes. Her hair spills around her face when she leans forward to put her chin on her knees. Dave and Karkat exchange a look that is equal parts confused, miserable, and desperate.

Oh SHIT. Is JADE going to be the one to finally vocalize about the problems here???

Something else comes hurtling out of the hole in the sky, too fast for Jade to catch. It hits the ground with a clap of green lightning. The collision sends a geyser of dirt, rock, and vapor into the air. Dave flash-steps to shield Karkat. Jade doesn’t move, taking the brunt of the explosion face on, using her abilities to warp the energy around her so that she’s a mote at the center of the storm. When the dust clears, she’s the first to jump in the crater, trailing smoke behind her.

There’s a body at the center of it. The torso is bloody, tangled, and curled into a fetal position. Its shoes are missing, but otherwise the outfit is quite familiar to her: it’s a dead ringer for her old Witch of Space uniform. Jade touches the body with the toe of her shoe, and then gasps when it rolls over to reveal its face.

JADE: its... JADE: ME???

Okay what the FUCK. It sounds like there’s going to be some context for that postscript after all. Something to bridge the gap between when that 16-yo Jade falls into the singularity and when Aradia goes off with her through a wormhole

I’m going to guess up front that this happens BEFORE the postscript... this younger version of Jade fell into the black hole and came out in THIS alternate timeline, possibly rather changed by the experience. But then again, the way the sky opened up... actually, couldn’t that be just a “natural” manifestation of the black hole abilities encouraged by Calliope or done by the singularity alone, followed by later in the Postscript this Jade actually getting control of it??

And... reading on, from the sound of it, her eyes aren’t black yet, either. Sounds like that’s to come, before the postscript. Question being, is it alt!Callie black eyes, or some black-hole-powers visual manifestation? Wait, never mind, I misread; this teenage Jade-corpse has NOT opened their eyes yet, so they couldn’t possibly tell, and the stuff about them “shaking” was about the adult Jade standing over her. Never mind. Let’s see which timeframe this Jade came from.

Also STOP TRAUMATIZING ADULT JADE ON SCREEN ITS NOT OKAY IM SICK OF IT ANDREW

==>

Page 20...

Stop letting babby not!Vriska bully babby not!Tavros.

Hm... same stupid tooth poison? No, Jade didn’t get hit with a tooth... so it’s more getting hit with shards of spacetime and spiraling down a black hole. Also whatever alt!Callie did to just barely keep her alive.

Hm, so the Heart stuff falls apart if you’re too separated from the mass-whole at Light’s center? That’s certainly a hypothesis at least.

ROXY: sounds like its time for another funeral lmao

ROXY WAKE THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING A VAGUELY ROXY-LOOKING LMAO-ZOMBIE. WHERE THE FUCK DID REAL ROXY GO.

And where the fuck is Calliope anyway, she’s just being left in the dust and nobody’s even talked to her from the looks of it.

Hm, cut apart by political differences, this group...?

ROXY: woah ok karkat i get ur all fired up about politics and stuff but lay off gamz ok

ROXY WHO REPLACED YOUR FUCKING BRAIN WITH A BLOCK OF CHEESE

ROXY YOU’RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER PLEASE GIVE US AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU’RE ACTING NOTHING LIKE THE COOL SMART PERSON WE READ ABOUT.

JADE: dave what the FUCK did you say to him downstairs?

Oh my god you asshole don’t blame DAVE for this >:(

ROXY: this time next week well corpse party like its the end of the world!

I don’t want to think this has anything to do with Aradia, but we DID see her in that postscript bit... And, I mean, what the hell could she even do?? It’s not like this Roxy is just Aradia in really convincing cosplay or something.

==>

She leads John and Jake into the building and down the center of the nave, humming happily to herself the entire time. An equally effusive Calliope trails behind her, carrying a bouquet of purple flowers.

Well there’s Callie. What is WITH these hypnotized motherfuckers. I need a revelation on these shenanigans STAT.

What is with people being bathed in light here?

each time we witness death, we fall in love in with the important people in oUr lives all over again.

Calliope is gazing at Roxy with glassy eyes. She sniffs as she plucks the last petal from her rose. A breeze washes through the cathedral from the crack in the door at the end of the room, brushing the petal off-course and causing it to get stuck in Roxy’s over-sprayed hair. Calliope reaches out with a visibly shaking hand to remove the plant offal, but she does not draw back. Instead, she lets her hand graze down the side of Roxy’s face and cup her cheek. Roxy puts her own hand over Callie’s and holds it.

Uhhh.... huh.

So.

If Roxy was just lying to herself, then............ WHY??????

John tilts his head and squints at the image in front of him. Hmm.

Is John realizing he’s in some sort of fanfic drawn by another character, hence all the people in serene lightbeams at tender but unjustified moments?

Everyone whips their heads around to see, of all people, Aradia hovering in the foyer

Pff

(...I hope Aradia didn’t come here, like, from the postscript. Where the “action” she talked about might have just been this corpse party. Because that would be pretty fucking lame.)

KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.

Pfffffffffff

The description of Human Jesus we all had in our hearts, but were too afraid to voice.

Alright, now we see the body we took our eyes off of. Is it going to get back up, or did it escape earlier?

since nobody was willing to dislodge the huge, otherworldly shard from her chest

My damn god, people.

...alright finally, everyone’s talking.

JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.

JANE STOP BEING A XENOPHOBIC BASTARD

CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason. CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end. CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.

...Huh. Huuuuhh. What the fuck is all this for. Are you saying ROXY caused this? Or...?

Okay I like this reinforcement she’s making in her speech about how different changes can influence how all of this unfolds, gives me hope that maybe these two cliffhangers aren’t all we’re going to be left with and we’ll be able to at least think of an IMPLIED future different from them if we wanted to like we thought about the seemingly-infinite-possibility original ending of Homestuck that I’d rather have been stuck with than this oh god breathe boots

okay there’s the labor going into good distraction

alright corpse get back up

JADE: i am not jade.

Right, so like the black eyes in the postscript suggested this is more just a... vessel for alt!Calliope now? To give HER a future beyond the one she sacrificed for that black hole business? And between alt!Callie’s became-the-black-hole nature and Jade’s Spacey Green Sun connection that’s been singularified, she has access to cool Black Hole powers? And is gonna do cool shit with them in implied future adventures we won’t see while Aradia gleefully watches the carnage? Huh.

The congregation watches her go, but no one moves to help her, or even looks in her direction. In her wake, she leaves a primal, echoing wail.

Oh my god why wouldn’t they have just a brief discussion or something IT’S NOT THAT BAD D:

JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you, JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.

Well fuck. So she just disconfirmed this timeline as... something. Relevant, possible, I dunno.

JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.

Okay that’s good. So thanks to alt!Calliope these side timelines where things unfolded differently MAY be preserved. Pretty fitting given alt!Callie’s origins.

.......unless there’s some other stupid interspecies civil war threat that she’s going to be fighting too, here, when the political situation falls apart. Dammit.

==>

Terezi talk Terezi talk

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “ghostrain.jpg” --

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK JOHN: it started a few days ago. the sky above the capital of the troll kingdom just cracked open and ghosts began raining down everywhere.

Oh my GOD. So alt!Callie kind of “saved” all the doomed ghosts that got swallowed up in the black hole by redirecting them all to THIS UNIVERSE and timeline???????

That’s pretty interesting! Heck my stomach’s even calming down!

they can’t even be judges! TEREZI: G4SP

Yeah that’s pretty terrible!

...yep, the resistance WOULD put him in charge. I had a feeling it may have ended up in that direction in Candy since it wasn’t in Meat.

--oh FUCK YOU Jade for splitting up what he had with Karkat before they could sort it out!!! You did the OPPOSITE OF HELP and neither of them are going to end up happy thanks to you! D:<

PFFF wow, John’s so concerned about babby not!Tavros’s living situation that he’s considering legit kidnapping. That means things must be pretty fucking bad.

--okay Calliope’s still out and about with Roxy instead of being cooped up in her room like in the other timeline, that’s good.

Pff, trying to redeem Ghost Eridan in front of Ghost Feferi. Yep, that’s Gamzee.

GAMZEE: fIrSt, A LiTtLe RiGhTeOuS sPlAsH oF tHe NaNnA nEcTaR tO cLeAnSe ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...

Gamzee takes out a baby bottle and flicks it, covering them both with little drops of milk, as clergy does with holy water. He then takes a swig from the bottle himself before returning it to his codpiece.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I don’t want to believe that what’s in that bottle is what he’s making it sound like it is, but OF COURSE it is. Why would it be anything else. I bet there’s not even any Lifey hypnosis going on, it’s just the literal stuff.

The crowd falls silent as they raise their heads to watch a drone ship pass by overhead.

Jegus fuck stop going whole hog condesce janey

ROXY: lmao you worry too much ROXY: janeys got her head on straight shell show you yet

ROXY. WHERE DID YOUR BRAIN GO. I MISS IT. YOUR BRAIN WAS THE BEST FUCKING PART OF YOU.

Touching photo.

Alright lemme post split. I haven’t gotten as far as the last post plowed through since I’ve been typing so much... ah well.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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