#whys it so hard for ppl to keep their hate of characters/pairings to their own posts?

[wraith-caller]

It costs 0 dollars to not go on art of a pairing you don't like and tell the artist "they don't belong together, actually"

[catboydogma]

tysm @olives-and-lilies for the tag this is such a fun game :D everyone should go check out their art and such !

how many works do you have on ao3?

-> oh buddy. one hundred and twentyyyyyy four

2. what's your ao3 word count?

-> 385,121! wowza

3. what fandoms do you write for?

-> star wars, overwatch of late (just a little bit i PROMISE.), before that, marvel (comics, not that mcu shit), dc comics (and vertigo john constantine) (i think you can still find some very early proto-fics in the trenches of my ao3)

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

-> bleed-through w 1,162; CHTHONIC w 1,084; dancer in the dark w 763; let the lights bleed w 761; and blood rush (???) (since when????? blood rush???????) w 752

5. do you respond to comments? why/why not?

-> guiltily looking away from my inbox. i generally try very hard to. i used to! ever since i stopped publishing/writing fic so much i've kind of neglected my inbox. i have to say tho, every comment ppl send in is very much appreciated and another inch of motivation for me to write and publish more fic and such, so if people feel moved to comment ... well who knows what might happen ....

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

-> i don't do unhappy endings or endless angst/hurt no comfort, with two exceptions--the road south (corrie-centric), and moon barks at dog (dogma-centric)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

-> not sure if this would be something that readers would agree with me on, but EYE think that horizontal transfer is the happiest ending i've written. moving forward. healing and growing beyond healing into someone whole, who can exist on their own terms. finding a meaning in what you do beyond simply doing it.

8. do you get hate on fics?

-> not generally! my commenters are pretty well-behaved, which is nice. i've gotten a few comments to keep going on oneshots (irritating, if not paired with enough complimentary shit to keep my ego going--for anyone inclined: if you're asking an author to keep going, or write a sequel, or more chapters, whatever, don't just go "hey i like this can you make more"--tell the author exactly what you like, in detail, for several sentences. and THEN you may politely ask if they would be so inclined to keep going--but every writer is different, and there may be writers that disagree with me on this), i've only gotten 1-2 typo correcting comments (note: don't do this unless it's explicitly asked for). the only thing that's ever come close was someone commenting smth like "why is obi-wan korean lol you didn't have to make him korean" on dancer in the dark but iirc they deleted soon after (and before i even got to reply ...) which i dont even think really counts as "hate" per se. just being kind of brainless, i think

9. do you write smut? if so what kind?

-> ANY KIND I THINK IS HOT!

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

-> they're not TECHNICALLY crossovers but my fusion AUs are kind of in this corner. the craziest would be the overwatch/star wars fusion fic where the stray things go, which is one of my more recent ones. obi-wan is a japanese assassin archer. cody is a sick ass supersoldier who fucks off and becomes a cowboy. need i say more. secondarily, the star wars/pacific rim fusion for dark day/brighter night

11. have you had a fic stolen?

-> not to my knowledge. i don't really care. i don't post my shit anywhere that's not ao3 or tumblr; don't post my shit into LLMs or chatgpt or whatever the fuck character ai bullshit people are using. obviously. no one else writes like me in the whole world &c &c so who cares

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

-> nope! might translate one of my own into korean someday when i have the time/inclination. have had a LOT of people make really awesome podfics for my shit though, which is super cool

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

-> not really. some of my bang fics come close--for rules of ascension, i got a lot of ideas from my amazing artist @creaturething-otherentities (consider yourself tagged for this game as well, if you like!) and my wonderful beta @maderilien; the cyberpunk au base idea/prompt came from the artist for my reverse codywan bang fic empire + the sun, and i kind of regard all/most of my service varactyl boga fics to be a joint effort between me and the lovely people at the kenobi kafe when i was a part of that server :)

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

-> i simply do not have one. but i think top five contenders at the moment are codywan (commander cody/obi-wan kenobi), yeehan (cole cassidy/shimada hanzo), violyn (apparently the official name for caitlyn kiramman/vi arcane is caitvi but some enterprising redditor came up with violyn instead, which--i mean come on), pharmercy (fareeha amari/angela ziegler), and ramyatta (ramattra overwatch/tekhartha zenyatta). close runners-up are probably yanth/harrow/gideon from locked tomb and midpollo (apollo/midnighter)

15. what's a wip you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

-> i would not like to finish straight to the heart and i doubt i ever will. i got fired from the coffee shop i was working at when i started it (NOT a big deal, this was years ago, also NOT my fault!) so i'm much more content leaving it in pieces. everything else i WILL be finishing, but hopefully vide noir will be getting its ending soon. sometime. super soon. probably. by year's end. i think. maybe.

16. what are your writing strengths?

-> i'm a huuuuuuge dialogue guy. i loooove to write dialogue. imagery as well.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

-> i like to think my pacing has gotten quite good if not at least solid but it's definitely a mechanic i need to very consciously keep in mind while writing and structuring plots, so it's difficult to work with in a way that keeps me satisfied while also not making me lose my mind

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

-> love that shit. i'll do it all the time. i love to see it.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

-> dc comics i Think. specifically? it must have been young justice but i simply do not remember

20. favorite fic you've ever written?

-> HMMMMMMMMM the dream fic i had in my head for from the left arm of the falconer. it didn't turn out anything like i planned or wanted (still good, just not--It) and i think i may like, post another part of it that's closer to what i was trying to do working from a different base. for existing fics? i'm a huge fan of that is that + this is this (codywan sad old men on tatooine during the timeline of kenobi series) and CHTHONIC (body/haunting horror commander fox-centric), which are two very different works but some of what i consider my best (fic) writing

no pressure tags: @deniigi , @petrichordiam , @calamity-aims , @rochenn , @redminibike1 , and absolutely anyone else who sees this and wants to

[hbyrde36]

@griefabyss69 really keeping me busy with the tag games AND I LOVE IT 💜💜💜

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20! A few are short drabbles and one also one series that prob should have just been a multi-chaptered fic, so it sounds like a bit more than it is, but i'm super proud of my body of work so far

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

219,683 😱- which sounds absolutely insane to me considering i just started writing/posting in February of this year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Stranger Things for now, but I could see myself doing this with future hyperfixations as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Times Like These

Shelter In Place

Caught in the Undertow

Life is a Game (and True Love is a Trophy)

Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I don't always manage to respond to 100% of comments, but I really try because they do mean SO much to me and i want ppl to know that and to thank them for reading!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think I have any, at least right now, with an angsty ending. Happy endings always and forever over here 💜 Angstiest fic, in general, would be (i think) Caught in the Undertow.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is a tough one because, of course, happy endings always, but I like the hopeful and open ending to Times Like These. It's nice after all the rigamarole of the time loop.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

*knocks on wood SO hard* I have yet to get a negative comment on anything and I feel so lucky for that because I just know how dicouraging it would be. That said, it does make me wonder if I play it too safe sometimes, and so i'm considering pushing myself a bit more out of my comfort zone in the future.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, though usually as a small part to a larger fic. I have yet to write smut for the sake of itself. (though I do worship those authors that do. You are all wonderful and i'm not worthy!!) I'm still very self conscious of my spicy scenes, but i've been working hard at it and i'd like to think i've improved quite a bit since my first time.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! My fic - Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter is the love child of Steddie and the long running Anita Blake vampire hunter novel series. It has been so much fun to write and I love every comment i get from a reader who has never even heard of Anita Blake but loved the fic anyway! From the moment I imagined Steve as Anita and Eddie as Jean-Claude, i just knew i had to do somethign with it. It's been an absolute blast and i can't believe it's almost complete.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No - but that would be amazing!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I havn't, but would definetely be open to the idea with the right person. (assuming i had the time to commit to it) I am doing the reverse big bang, which is not cowriting of course but is a collaboration and i'm super excited for it.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Steddie got me into this whole fandom/fanfic mess and they are without a doubt my favorite but i'll read just about any ST pairing if it's written well.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I plan to finish every project i've started, even those i'm not yet posting. For my own sanity i don't think I could leave anything unfinished (no judgement whatsoever to anyone who had left a fic unfinished though, this shit (and life) is hard sometimes!)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't know really, um, I think I do pretty good dialog? I know that's the part of writing I tend to enjoy the most, and the part i usually write first for any scene. I can hear my characters voices very clearly in my head so conversation comes easily and naturally most of the time.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting too caught up in the little details (and stressing about them) and letting it slow me down

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I havn't done it myself but i do love it in other fics ❤

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stranger Things/Steddie! I'm a fanfic late bloomer and only started reading it a year ago, and writing it 9 months ago.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

You can't make me choose! I love all my children equally!

Ok, fine. I'll say - Life is a Game (and True Love is a Trophy) is my current favorite because it is probably the most insane and creative project i've undertaken so far. It was a long time coming too. I had the idea for it way back in March, but I doubted my ability to take it on for a long time and only starting writing and posting it in july. It still feels intimidating to think about, but I love the way I've twisted canon to fit my weird idea.

No pressure tags! @penny00dreadful @thisapplepielife @manda-panda-monium @steddiecameraroll @chaosgremlinmunson @spoookysix @steventhusiast

[galpalpetraral]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

(tagged by @darlingpoppet)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 17 currently, but I'm a serial deleter and I always wanna keep it under 20. would be like. 69 by now otherwise

2. What is your AO3 word count? 217,645...and see above LOL I shudder to imagine what it would be if I wasn't always deleting

3. What fandoms do you write for? mostly cql and asoiaf in recent years. tho I also have a zelda wip I've been kicking around for a while...we'll see if that ever amounts to anything :') and I'll still keep a few snk fics up, being mighty fond of those days

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? tuck the darkness in (wx shrinking haunted house fic), sunday night lights (eruri football au), friendly fields (wx ghost baby fic), fourth one will prob be deleted soon so it doesn't count lol, and where they grow (madam lan lives au).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yep every time! at most it'll take me a month to respond but I never let it go beyond that. even the negative ones (I'm a Pro-Crit Fanfic Guy sorry)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the ending to our shadow over the sea (rhaenicent fic) has garnered many delightful threats upon my person and I cherish them all. that and two slow dancers (eruri vampire au): FIGHT!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of my other fics tbqh ugh :( maybe set me as a seal (eruri reincarnation au) just bc happy endings for the ruris are rare wah...

8. Do you get hate on fics? idk if I would call it hate, but criticism yes! most common word I hear along that line is "boring" which is definitely understandable lol, there are times when I reread my own works and find them too generic/not rly offering anything new, in which case I take that forward with me into new works to try to enrich them. although I guess if by "hate" you mean like, troll type hate on pairings & things, then yeah who doesn't LOL

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yep, and more so in recent years! and it's the kind of smut that's way too sappy no matter the situation no matter the tone UGH :(

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? snk/asoiaf crossover for my yumihisu rights...idk if it counts as a crossover since it's just snk characters in the asoiaf world, but I did go Very heavy on the asoiaf lore lol whoops

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yeah lol multiple but I kinda forgot until this was asked, can't bring myself to care unfortch, peace be with you

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes!! southern cross translated into chinese by gloria_77, set me as a seal translated into chinese by applethief326, and sunday night lights translated into russian by ackermantihora! and I know there's still several translations of deleted fics out there heh. I so appreciate the hard work of you amazing translators!!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? not since I was a kid doing it for giggles with friends, but definitely a lot of fun :)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? eruri literally life-changing, so. and korrasami

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? oh man there was this one hannibal wip I had back in the day that like, the themes and imagery and stuff would've been so legit but I needed someone smarter than me to write it :( it was about will & hannibal taking sanctuary in that one silician cathedral while besieged by police. kinda weaving back and forth between past and present, contemplating God and gods and stuff. someone write this please. also there's this one cql post-canon fic but it's all about accepting death and the curse of immortality and stuff and it's kind of a bummer to write LOL maybe will keep chipping away at it one day

16. What are your writing strengths? seems like I'm good at getting across my goal themes & purposes - ppl seem to pick up what I'm putting down often and it makes me happy! because I do tend to err on the side of vagueness & trusting the audience, and it's nice when it's rewarded :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? like mentioned before, my fics have been called boring & I think that has a lot to do with some generic imagery/syntax I've relied on - definitely something I've tried to improve on but it's a work in progress! like I've sometimes sacrificed diction for story flow ya know, it doesn't work on shrewder readers and I def respect that & want to do better

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? if you know what you're doing, cool! but I've come across too many instances in fics where the author demonstrated a lack of basic understanding of the language & not only does it throw you out but it feels disrespectful - I know ppl get all "it's just fanfic I'm not being paid!!1!!!!11" but if you're going to work within a culture that's not your own, research. not exactly sure if that's what the question is asking LOL but that's been my experience both as a reader and a writer

19. First fandom you wrote for? legend of zelda!! I wrote a billion words of ocarina of time pre-canon fic about the three goddesses at age 10 on a beat-up floppy disc. those were the days man

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? man something happened with southern cross that I've never been able to truly replicate...looking back there's a few too many extra words, few too many instances of passive voice, but for the most part I'm just like damn dude...what was she cooking

if you're a writer and you haven't been tagged yet I tag YOU!!!

[shortkingvi]

the team rwby girls for the ask meme :)

alright settle in kids,,,,,,, let's do this one

Ruby:

favorite thing about them

just,,,,,, how good she is,,,,, the way they've managed to portray her growing up super well while also keeping that distinct innocence and childhood optimism about her is what makes ruby such a wonderful protag i think, and i really really love how, at the end of the day, she is just good, you know?

least favorite thing about them

this is moreso a plot/writing thing, but i don't always LOVE how she just has plans ready and is always the one to figure things out,,,,,, i understand plot armour and protag themes and whatnot, but i wish that they'd make the route to a plan a LITTLE more complex at times and i think a lot of that rests on ruby specifically

favorite line

"you were, and then you trained us"

GOD when she said this line????? i screamed it's SO good

brOTP

give me more nora and ruby interactions crwby i'm begging

OTP

nuts n dolts 😭 my beloved

nOTP

aside from the obvious ones? maybe wh*terose??? i don't HATE it, i just don't really get it u know?

random headcanon

enby ruby,,,,,,, also maybe she builds lego too

unpopular opinion

i don't listen to anyone ever so i don't know what's unpopular but uhhhhhh,,,,,, i guess i'm not crazy about people desperately searching for a pairing for her??? as much as i love nnd, i'd much rather ruby have ruby stay single through the show because i just feel like it makes more sense re: her character

also some of the pairings ppl think up are SO bad

song i associate with them

over the line - state champs,,,,,,, i cannot explain it, it just IS

favorite picture of them

her fucking SMUG face when she fell off the bridge i love it

Weiss:

favorite thing about them

man just like,,,,,,, so much,,,,,,, her dedication to PEOPLE in particular is so beautiful. she grew up with not a lot of love expressed freely and so the way she treats the people in her life now that she's grown and found safety is so endearing because she handles everyone with such care

least favorite thing about them

the fact that they haven't given her a dramatic anime protag haircut yet

favorite line

"i don't know loneliness like you do, i have my own version"

had to stop and absorb that one the first time i heard it,,,,,,, oof

brOTP

freezerburn babeyyyyyyyyyyyyy

OTP

schneekos,,,,, i pray to my schneekos shrine every night and am currently planning a fic about them

nOTP

🐝🐝❄️

random headcanon

trans weiss is my big one,,,,,, also she loves baking but is a horrible cook

unpopular opinion

hate it when she sings,,,,,,, this is moreso because i just can't handle characters/actors singing without cringing violently,,,,,,, leave me alone

song i associate with them

VOID - lil nas x,,,,,,, v much introspective weiss, lonely weiss, v4 weiss etc.

bonus: where i wanna be - A R I Z O N A is a weiss to pyrrha schneekos song

favorite picture of them

it's just a really beautifully animated scene

also when u realize that's pyrrha spear it gets way sadder ok bye

Blake:

favorite thing about them

might honestly die trying to answer this because, as much as i don't talk about her indvidually, she's SUCH an excellent character,,,,,,, i think her dedication to her friends and her ability to read emotions is really wonderful and always so refreshing

least favorite thing about them

no kiss yang yet >:(

jk maybe how type b she's become? i'd like to see her take some more leadership roles in the upcoming seasons rather than just kinda going with the flow, because she's a good leader and that should be a plot device that's utilized more

favorite line

"but that's just it... they're only a part of you. don't forget about the rest"

i just love it so much

brOTP

ladybug,,,,,, i LOVE ladybug

OTP

don't have one 😔 wish i did tho :(

nOTP

🐝🐝❄️

random headcanon

blake is an online shopper and has to be controlled by the team because she spends too much on the daily

unpopular opinion

maybe that i don't think she truly recognized and acknowledged her feelings for yang FULLY until like,,,,,,,, v6? i think she was in denial before then

song i associate with them

it's gonna be okay, baby - MUNA,,,,,,, just listen to it and agree with me thanks

favorite picture of them

bestie that's GAY

Yang:

favorite thing about them

GOD,,,,,, i latched onto her so quickly so this is hard but uhhhhh, i love that she effortlessly switches between team mom and team child depending on what role she needs to play at the time,,,,, i think that flexibility makes her the biggest team player in the show (which is all about teams so that's saying something)

least favorite thing about them

how her passion is sometimes seen as straight up brashness or naivety,,,,, i think she's not always the best communicator so it can seem like she's not thinking at times even though she's very methodical

favorite line

"if there's a chance of reward money, i say we go for it"

not my FAVOURITE favourite, but i love that she was willing to sell weiss at the drop of a hat

brOTP

either freezerburn or her and coco

OTP

again,,,,,, wish i had one 😞

nOTP

her and any man,,,,,,, also what i listed above

random headcanon

summer used to do her hair for her which is why she's so sensitive about people touching it now

unpopular opinion

she's not,,,,,, stupid lol and i feel like a lot of the fandom loves to pretend she is

song i associate with them

have you seen my son - benjamin booker

idk man, just trust me on this

favorite picture of them

we peaked right here in this moment

send me a character!

[windblooms]

matchups.

hihi :’) way overdue – but here are the matchup requests that i received.  please check for yours below if it was sent in!  ctrl+f on desktop for your mbti/zodiac, or something you remember adding in if the post is too long to scroll through.

Hello! I'm INFP and 98% Type 4 & 92% Type 9. I'm a sun Pisces & moon Aquarius. I'm fairly introverted but can be kinda silly if I'm trying to be social. I'm also empathetic & sympathetic with plenty of self-confidence issues. My main hobbies are playing games, looking into social issues, thinking about game characters,etc. I keep bouncing between visions but Geo might be fitting since current Geo characters are a little more on the introverted side. Not sure if I'm late but wanted to try <3 I'm the INFP Pisces & Aquarius Geo asker and forget to mention that I'd like 1 platonic and 1 romantic!

romantic match-up: kaeya.

although it might be odd at first to pair him with a sensitive and introverted soul such as yourself, on the contrary, kaeya won’t have any issues relating to your emotional nature, even if outwardly it doesn’t seem so (behind his light-hearted and diplomatic dialogue, he’s got a transactional relationship with the knights he’s “loyal” to; his own brother is distasteful towards him; and he’s got an agenda that goes against everything he currently lives with.)  he’ll get a knack out of teasing you when the mood is fitting, and while he may not be the one to give you the best of pep-talks, his self-assured disposition does have its uses: confident words soothe over the creases of your worries and troubling thoughts, and when things are more light-hearted, the two of you will bounce off of each others’ playful mannerism.

platonic match-up: barbara.

barbara is a sweetheart who’s incredibly devoted to both her companions and her aspirations.  wholesome and energetic, she’s sure to keep you on your toes dancing, whether it be about how beautiful it is outside or the potential of a rainbow after a storm.  while she’s a clear extrovert, barbara is also insightful to the feelings of others – after all, an idol must understand her crowd! – so she’s sure to dial down the energy if you’re ever feeling weary that day.

hihi !! can i please submit myself for the matchups ? i'm intp-t, scorpio sun and leo moon. i'm 5'11, female, and am described to be a very energetic person. i like to think optimistically and have a special love for philosophy and chemistry !! my hobbies include reading and writing - i've also recently picked up baking. i think i would have a hydro vision in genshin - hydro users tend to be healers, and i think that's something i would specialize in. can i please have 2 romantic matchups 🥺

i'm the scorpio sun leo moon intp matchup ask !! i forgot to mention that my enneagram type is seven, sorry 😔

romantic match-ups: childe/tartaglia and jean. 

childe hyperfixates on individuals he deems strong.  while this usually translates into people who have experience on the battle field, in your case, he finds it admirable that you’re able to keep up with so many hobbies and interests.  your thirst for new experiences and stimuli is akin to his own sense of adventure, and your devotion to each and every one of them resonates with his own conviction to his aspirations.  you’re strong mentally, and when you interact, he always has to dedicate himself to you fully in order to keep up; there’s never a dull moment when you’re around him.

a workaholic in denial, jean’s position as acting grand master never gives her a break.  she’ll insist that she’s fine, that she’s content with her oversight of the knights, that they are her priority.  and while this is true, when you talk about how your interests range from chemistry to baking, it’ll remind her of the time she doesn’t have to do “normal people things.”  again, not that she’s miserable with the knights, far from it – it’s just that your life and spontaneity reminds her of the things outside of the knights that she wishes she could do, too.  your genuine energy never fails to make her smile – perhaps you were who she’s been waiting for.

hi, congrats on the 1k followers! i really enjoy your writing and i’m glad to see that you’re doing well! i hope the rest of 2021 goes well for you!

for the matchup event, i’d like one platonic and one romantic relationship. i'm an infp, 6w5, scorpio sun and virgo moon. my attention span isn’t the best and i’m an impulsive dumbass, but i still manage to get good grades somehow. i try to be sociable, but i have a habit of clamming up so i usually just end up sticking to the people i know. i’m kinda all or nothing with the effort i put into things; i run out of steam pretty easily so i tend to leave things unfinished, which i hate, but sometimes i’ll go wild and finish a semester-long project in one afternoon. overall, i really like helping others and being seen as reliable! i was really dependent on others in the past, and although i still kinda am now, i’m trying to be someone others can depend on.

as for hobbies, i mostly just play video games and scary stories. i’m also into a lot of crafts, particularly knitting and bracelet-making. i find the motions relaxing, but i enjoy it the most when i have someone to make things for.

as for my vision, i think hydro suits me best because it seems more support-oriented overall, which is the kind of role i’d like to have. however, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be used to do some serious damage if needed.

has lots of energy that’s hard to direct, but can plow through things they set their mind to.  likes security of things they know, and wants to give security as well.  creative outlets.  seems a bit finicky?  but insightful with their own emotions. 

romantic match-up: mona.

outwardly stubborn but inwardly self-critical, mona has dedicated her entire life to the stars, and it shows: her masterful grip on astrology is nothing to scoff at, and she’s arguably the most practiced mage in all of teyvat.  at first, she’ll be baffled at your impulsiveness and “lack of focus”: how will you ever get anything done? she’ll wonder.  but when you prove her time and time again that you can plow right through an obstacle just like scissors through paper, so long as it seizes your interest, she’ll take moments to think about her own outlook on life.  when she realizes your comfort in abstract, artistic past-times, she might ask cutely for you to teach her.  surely, if she can talk to the stars, she can make bracelets . . . ?  o-of course they’d be for you!  who else would they be for, if not someone she deems endearing.

platonic match-up: beidou. 

the personification of a tidal wave, beidou’s ferocity hits hard and leaves a mark.  the two of you will find it easy to bounce off of each others’ ideas – maybe even concerningly so to the rest of the crew – and hell, she might even sway you to sneak into a hilichurl village to steal some carrots if it’ll provide for some overdue fun.  lots of  pats  slaps on the back, and she’ll always beckon you over when she learns about something new, thinking that you might find it interesting, and when she wants someone else’s input.  she trusts your judgement like family, and knows that you’ve always got her.

hi! i would like to request a genshin character matchup (2 romantic). my mbti is infj and enneagram 2. i am a cancer sun and aries moon. i am calm and reliable, but i do have a mischievous side and use a lot of dry humor. when it comes to having fun, i like to enable others! i am also deeply passionate about community service. my hobbies include yarn crafting. my genshin vision would be cryo because i am highly motivated by love/emotion, can come off as cold, and love the ice aesthetic! tysm!

romantic match-ups: diluc and lisa.

often broody and contemplative, diluc has a whirlwind of thoughts in that hard head of his.  through your first interactions, he’ll piece together your intense devotion towards your loved ones and willingness to help others.  he’ll warn you that you should take time to consider yourself, too, and that it shouldn’t always be give, give, give, but those same traits in you that he worries about are the same qualities that draw him in.  once, too, he was as uninhibited as you, had the same energy.  perhaps it’s because you’re both so similar, both in internal hopes and mannerisms, is why he finds it easier to loosen up – even if he doesn’t immediately let go of that deadpan attitude of his when he knows you can come back just as hard.

she’s enthralled by your willingness to engage in her banter.  often, those she teases (flirtatiously or otherwise) leave with a red face and an adorable stutter, but it just so happens that you’re one to fluster her instead.  it’s been a long time since she’s met someone who can keep her guessing, yet is incredibly insightful to themselves and those around them.  she finds your qualities of fun and sincerity to be charming.  you’re a breath of fresh air compared to the stern knights she’s around all day, and she looks forward to meeting you after work, conversing with you as you walk down mondstadtian streets and eat over dinner.  there’s never a dull quip from your lips, and she’d love to hear everything on your mind.

hii hope I'm not making this too hard on u lol one romantic and one platonic please! either gender is fine I'm bi as Hecc mbti: enfp-t sun taurus moon aries I think my vision would be cryo because people say it's connected to loss and I've lost some pretty important people to me and also. I hate the heat I really like cards, wolves and the stars, my hobbies include working with robots and the general aesthetic of the mid 2000s, my favorite season is winter and I love buying ppl gifts ♡

platonic match-up: chongyun. 

immediately, your avoidance of heat and affinity to the calm will give him someone to relate to, and your attraction to the abstract will pique his interests.  (perhaps, once he’s become more confident with his exorcist abilities, he could pick up some of your hobbies?)  your practicality, in contrast to his often self-critical mindset, will ground him in times of need, and he’ll always ask you if he can help you out in return.  while he looks up to you as an individual, he’s honored to also be your friend, or at least someone you devote time to.

romantic-matchup: ningguang.

you both understand sacrifices and loss.  while it’s a rather bleak realization upon getting to know each other, your rationality and perseverance despite the past stirs her respect for you; your mindsets are incredibly alike, and she’ll often input your reasoning into her plans, and deem you a trusted associate of the liyue qixing.  in her demanding position, you are someone she can readily relate to and rely on.  in times when things are less hectic and the two of you can more freely relax, she’ll indulge in a shopping spree with you.  as someone who’s intimate with her in both profession and emotional relations, she’d love to show her gratitude. 

hi! i'd like to participate on the match up event!

i'm an infp, and also type six on the enneagram test, my sun sign is aries and my moon sign is pisces. i like arts in general with my favourite ones being music and painting, but i also enjoy writing and i spend a lot of time songwriting! also as a person i'm rlly clumsy and i kind of look mean bc of my resting bitch face lol. i think my vision would be anemo because i think it can be really useful in many ways and i like the reactions it has with other visions. i'd like two romantic match ups! i hope this was understandeable, as my english isn't the best. thank you! 💌

romantic-matchups: mona and zhongli.

mona will find your interest in the arts intriguing.  you always seem to get ideas at the most random of times, often startling her with how active your mind is.  and despite how she doesn’t reply much in return – she’s not versed in words or drawings, even if she won’t verbally admit it – you seem to be satisfied with her . . . reactions?  even if the most she can relate them to is astrology, it seems to be enough for you, so long as she isn’t uptight that day.  your creativity and attraction to the abstract gives her comfort: there aren’t many people in mondstadt who appreciate her profession, so even if you aren’t into the exact same things, she’ll at least know that there’s someone who looks forward to seeing her.

on his quest to “learn what being a human” is, zhongli encounters a myriad of occupations.  typically, the people of liyue are wound up with economics and realism, but your joy in the possibilities – how you can convey your emotions, through what mediums – of life has to offer reminds him of humanity.  with you, he’ll explore what mortals call “the small things” in life: akin to the spark of appreciation for flying lanterns, autumn-colored lights at night, feelings of wonder – that’s what you instill in him. 

hello!! id like a matchup please!! im an INTP-T and im Type 5,, im capricorn sun and libra moon. im a reserved person and kind of angry all the time,, and i get overwhelmed easily. im not that good with affection,, but me actually welcoming you into conversation or my room or smthn, or actually responding to you means something. im just scared to be open with affection because its always done me wrong in the past. anyways,, id like a platonic matchup and romantic matchup please!! thank u and congrats!!🥳🥳❤️❤️

hello,, im that Capricorn sun libra moon anon,,, very sorry to disturb you,,, but i didn’t mention what my vision would be!! i think id be pyro,, ive always been a bit cold or i usually shun people away,, so i think id be cryo!!!! or maybe hydro because im constantly having a mental breakdown LMAO(but i fr think id be cryo)

platonic match-up: sucrose.

while she’s constantly on-edge from work, sucrose will always make time to check on her dear friend.  after all, you do the same for her, even if you insist that you might not have the right words ready.  “partners in stress,” kaeya would teasingly dub the two of you as, but you don’t pay mind to him.  as quiet and reserved individuals, you find tranquility within each others’ company.  

romantic match-up: venti.

whimsical and regarded as a mere bard by most, venti puts up a convincing front.  but it’s just that: a front.  the real venti is concealed by a chipper voice and mercurial agenda, when underneath, there’s a solemn musician who’s burdened.  you’ll most likely be off-put by his facade, as he’s trained himself to constantly be lively – comes with being a performer – but will soon find that he understands your turmoil.  he’s not the best with sentimental words, but will instead convey his sympathies through strums of his lyre.  while it isn’t obvious that there’s security in freedom, he’ll be sure to encourage you that there’s a way.

Hello Al! For the match-up event would it be possible for me to ask for 1 romantic and 1 platonic? As for my MBTI I am an INFJ-T. As for the ennseagram I am 98% type five and 90% type 6. I am a Taurus sun and an Aquarius moon. I tend to come off as polite and often times a bit shy/reserved irl. I love learning new things. Conversations that have all parties thinking critically are definitely my favorites. My hobbies are writing, drawing, learning new things, reading, and playing video games. As for Genshin vision I'd have to say cryo. I've taken a quiz on quotev and got a tie between cryo and anemo. Cryo's description seemed to fit my personality better. I also seem to have a connection with the cold. Let me know if you need any more info. Remember to take care of yourself. ~Taylor💙

platonic match-up: albedo.

you both have your inquisitive sides, and albedo is more than willing to talk to you about his discoveries.  while he might not proactively reach out to you – more like, if you’re nearby, and he happens to catch you peeping at his work, he’ll engage with you.  he finds your takes thought-provoking and your candor respectful; a fellow of agreeable disposition, your calmness and supplementing nature also makes it easy for him to work.

romantic match-up: zhongli.

both intuitive and practical in your approaches, zhongli’s given a new perspective when you converse, or at least, a new thing to ponder over.  many regard him as stiff besides his gentlemanly disposition; your focused and insistent care will enrapture him as heartwarming, that there are “acceptable” vulnerabilities, but they’re not weak points at all – far from it.  your security and assuredness is harmonious with your emotion insight, making for a stable lifestyle that he easily molds into.  the conversations that the two of you engage in are nothing short of provocative.  just as much as he learns from you, he also provides with tales of the old days. 

Is - is the matchup thing still relevant? If not you can just ignore this message - its ok, i know ur busy :)

If it is still on tho, i wonder if i could get a platonic and romantic one?

Im a INFP-T(??), Type 4, pisces sun sag moon.

Im a dumb nerd with big glasses who loves t shirts with puns ot jokes on it. Im not sure about my hobbies, i just like anything that can make me think - memes, books, music, games with lore. I dont like boring, overly normal stuff. I have shitty sense of direction and i suck at math.

I think that my vision would be anemo since thats (i think) an element that requires both creativity and knowledge to work with, which is very special and interesting to me.

Thank you so much in advance! Or sorry if i sent this too late 😅

platonic match-up: xinyan.

both of you are free-flowing and seek excitement.  you’re the gasoline to xinyan’s match: you both feed off of each others’ knack for new things, stimuli, and the bold.  you could be walking down the streets of liyue, eating bags of mora meat, and then suddenly run down to the northern wharf to catch passing boats and playfully debate over which snobby aristocrat is being shipped off.  there’s never a dull moment between the two of you, and the plan is always no plan.  spontaneity is the name of the game, and it’s one that you can go at for ages. 

romantic match-up: beidou.

there’s hardly a moment to breathe on the crux fleet, that’s for sure.  be prepared to explore the entirety of teyvat with beidou, because she’s got you covered with all of your “new thing” needs, alongside your ocean-borne family.  she’ll find it humorous that you’re not practiced in navigation – ironic for a seafarer.  but steering is complex, and she’d gladly help you out in learning, just another thing to do in a day’s work. 

Hi! For the match up event, I'm 98% type 3 and a 97% type 7, I'm am Intp and my moon sign is scorpio, my sun sign is Pisces. I'm above than average in math and I like to draw from time to time, I've tried to learn the ukelele but ultimately failed. I'd like my vision to be an electro cause my fav color is purple and I like how the electricity sparks and stops my enemies, I'm also a fan fic writer and love manhwas

Hi! I'm the last anon that you reminded that should have put 2 romantic in the ask! Sorry about that, it just completely flew over my head

romantic match-ups: ningguang and childe/tartaglia.

your ambition knows no bounds, and your drive is a force to be reckoned with.  some may call your approaches headstrong, but your ability to take initiative is something that ningguang greatly admires.  it’s something she professes that you two have in common – granted, even if her economic tendencies are more cutthroat.  while the two of you have incredibly firm opinions that might send shocks across the room you’re debating in, ningguang trusts your rational thought and explorative mindset.  your like-mindedness, in this instance, brings great relief to her in her position.

childe is also someone who would take interest in you.  he’s not one for schemes like the rest of the harbingers, and would appreciate your straightforward approaches and the focused energy you put into each project/obstacle you face.  it makes it easier for him to speak his mind, and he’ll find comradery with you fairly easy to come by.  gradually, the zeal the two of you share can draw you into more adventures, and he’ll have someone he can call a trustworthy partner. 

Hello! For your generous match-up event, could I request two romantic matches please? My MBTI type is INFP and my enneagram type is four. My sun sign is Aries and my moon is Gemini. I am a quiet but curious person who can be really flirty and sarcastic in private. I am very caring to those I love. My hobbies including writing and drawing. For my vision, I think I would be cryo? I’m a secretive person who has trust issues and can be cruel. I love your blog, you’re so skilled! Thank you so much!

romantic match-ups: kaeya and jean.

you’re a trusted soul by all, even if many also regard you as reserved.  kaeya isn’t one to grow attached (it’s hindered him in the past), however after being paired with you on multiple missions, he’ll feel more at ease around you due to your good nature.  your duality is also a breath of fresh air, and each time he talks to you afterwards, he’s reminded that there are individuals who have others’ best interests at heart.  many knights will catch the two of you tossing jokes back and forth at each other, but for once, kaeya isn’t trying to swindle anybody. 

the acting grand master has a lot on her plate, but she finds that when she’s in your company, the tray is a little lighter.  she relates to your sincerity and good intentions, a welcome refresher in the world of forced diplomacy and tedious hours.  you also seem to know just the right things to say to lighten the mood, with a cute smile to top it all off. 

hello! Could I request 2 romantic match-up? I'm ENFP, enneagram 2w3. Sun Sagittarius, Moon Scorpio, Asc. Virgo. My hobbies consist of anything generally creative, gaming/anime, hanging out with friends esp!! I'm the type of person to show affection by physical touch and by gentle ribbing-- I love making other people laugh. I'm always down to do things, new or not, and an honest and easy-going person. My Vision would be Geo bc I think it reflects how I am as a person-- stable n loyal :) thank u!!

romantic match-ups: venti and beidou. 

no one would’ve thought that you and venti would be a pair – then again, when they consider your tendencies for jokes and charisma, it’ll all come together.  wherever the two of you go, laughter follows, like dandelions in the breeze.  venti hits it off with you almost immediately after you meet, your natural social nature enabling easy conversation.  you’re also very zealous with topics that pique your interest.  it’s a genuine, eager curiosity that he can’t help but consider endearing.

the two of you are always searching for new things, be it small islands in the horizon or neat little specialties that you manage to catch in the corner of your eye.  there’s never a dull moment when the two of you get going on ideas, and while you may be the more rational, beidou will always insist on adding some more “zest” into whatever you come up with.  if you push her, she might accidentally shove you off the boat with the playful enthusiasm of a golden retriever. 

Hiya~! Thank you both for doing this! For the character match-up, I'd like to request two (2) Romantic please lmao, with a side of French fries.

I'm an INFP, Libra sun/Scorpio moon. My external personality might lead ppl to think I'm a charismatic extrovert, but that's the face I show for the 5 whole minutes I'm socializing, and then return to my introvert turtle shell for the next week. I cycle through hobbies since I get bored quickly, but I always come back to music since singing is my passion. I know for sure my Vision would be Anemo bc I need to be free to feel comfortable and tend to react rather aggressively when I feel restrained 🤔

I'm deeply emotional, sometimes impulsive, and dislike relying on others. I tend to be cat-like in my affections... sometimes I Love, other times Do Not Want. Except for animals, they always get my love ❤ ehehe....

romantic match-ups: mona and kaeya.

mona considers your nature incredibly easy to grasp.  but don’t take it as an insult or offense – in fact, your simplicity is a constant in mona’s life: you like time to yourself, and when you’re alone is when your energy comes out.  she doesn’t have to worry about reading too much into your feelings when she can see that you’re independent.  your interactions are calm and reassuring; she doesn’t have to be uptight around you, because she knows you trust in her abilities and lifestyle, and security with herself and those she cares about is her top priority. 

kaeya’s able to relate to your social tendencies.  there’s a front that he puts up in front of his colleagues (purely for professional purposes) before reverting back to his natural state of mind.  he finds your distance understandable, and considers it something the two of you have in common.  when you talk one-on-one, it’s easy to bounce ideas off of each other about mondstadtian culture and other topics of interest; while your independent natures may lead to some time apart, there will always be fresh experiences waiting when you do meet again.

[silver-wield]

Omg. Your body language analysis is so on point it makes me go uwu. If you're still doing it, will you make one for the scene where Cloud catches Tifa while Barret shoots his damnest at the heli? I have my own analysis but very curious what's your take on it.

Heya, I'm guessing you don't mean the scene with the hand catch, but the one after it where they reach Barret's position on the stairs. Although I have many thoughts about Rude too and why he first of all directed Reno's attention to Tifa, but then noped them away when Reno was about to shoot her. He had an interesting microexpression – teeny facial tic – that hinted something different to the OG “he's crushing on her” angle.

A lot of these “action touches” get discounted by you-know-who because in those situations it's impossible not to touch? I don't get the reasoning and I'm not gonna try and figure out just what counts and what doesn't. It's non-optional. Isn't that the only argument that matters?

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea's approval (Cloti ask response) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Quick recap. Cloud and Tifa are reunited after that hand catch scene (smug? Me? Nau) and they're heading up to find Barret after seeing Jessie “die”. The mood is not good. This is not romantic, okay? This is war.

Ok, so already we have touchy touching here. You can argue it's high tension/stress moment and Cloud is making sure Tifa's safe, but he doesn't do that with Barret, is all I'm saying.

Cloud's got hold of her entire arm, not just her wrist or hand, he's got hold of her as securely as possible giving they're in motion. He doesn't want to lose her. She's got her arm on him, braced and using his body as a shield, which he is clearly fine with because he positions her partly behind him while he turns to check the threat from the stairs – possible further collapse of the platform they're now on. He's protecting her. Obvs. I shouldn't have to spell this out. It's not romantic, but it's telling of their trust and reliance on each other as partners. This is a clear pair.

Ok, so moving on from Cloti – cause action scene and this isn't a romance game – we get Tifa hearing Barret behind her. She turns and there's her concern for her friend. Obviously, she cares. It's her entire motivation for leaving the safety at the bottom and hauling her ass up those stairs.

Her face here hits me hard in the feels. She's so grim and worried and doesn't want to lose anyone else. She's caught up to Cloud, but then she lost Jessie – right in front of her and she couldn't do a thing about it. Now, she sees Barret facing down a helicopter.

Take that in. It's a dude – ok he's got a machine gun on his arm – fighting military spec weaponry on a fucking helicopter. Of course she's frightened and worried that she's about to see him get shot. Someone else she couldn't save.

Remember, FF7 has themes of loss and failure. The heroes don't always win or if they do there's a cost. How much of that threads into Remake is still to be seen, but since this scene is following canon we can assume it stands for now.

Tifa's character is often motivated by the desire to not lose people. She even says as much to the Shinra middle manager that she doesn't want anyone else to die. She stops Cloud killing the security agents and Johnny. This is a girl who fights because she wants people to live, not die.

Ok, so now we've got her running to reach Barret, leaving the safety of her bolt hole beside Cloud, who immediately turns and is all wtf when he sees her playing chicken with a chopper. Tbf, Barret doesn't sound that pleased about it, either. It's a crazy impulsive move likely driven by the desire to not lose her friend. If they're together they can stop whatever's coming. Tifa is very teamwork oriented if you recall all her actions from chapter 3 and how demoralised she was when she had to agree to disagree with Avalanche.

Cloud for his part doesn't take too long to dive to the rescue again. I think by now he's pretty much fulfilled that childhood promise and this is way more than just helping out a colleague or friend. He's not hesitating for a second to put himself in front of her with nothing but a sword for a shield.

Sorry, I just stopped the vid on this moment and it looks so damn cool I couldn't resist adding it. All it does is reinforce the above statement that Cloud has zero reservations of putting himself between Tifa and certain death. He's her hero without even stopping to think about it. The framing is stunning. Barret in the background, Cloud in the middle distance and Tifa in the foreground. Cloud has lined himself up with Tifa so that she's as protected by his position as he could possibly get. That takes skill. Tifa's half crouched to make herself a smaller target, but Cloud's body language is open, defiant. He's basically saying “come at me”.

Ah and now I'm sure some people will be all “but Cloud left her in the middle of the platform”. Well, yes, it's called diversion. He's the bigger target, the better target. And by making the chopper follow his progress, he's taken its sights away from Tifa's position. It now has less chance of hitting her when it next fires. Remember, Cloud knows tactics. He's not a dumdum. You can see that on his face as he's deciding his next move. The chopper won't wait for him to stop and explain what he needs to do, it's gonna fire. He's gotta move quickly. He also needs to trust that Tifa can get herself out of trouble. So many people's complaints about how she's not a damsel and should take care of herself. Well, this is Cloud trusting her not to be a damsel. He helped her out, and now he's gotta rely on her helping herself too. If he took her by the hand at this moment and dragged her along with him, she probably would've died. Tifa got herself to his position alone, she's clearly capable. He knows how much ass she can kick.

After that we've got the typical checking for danger and guy banter. I'm loving the development of Cloud and Barret's relationship. They went from outright hating each other to friends over the course of this game. It's beautiful and develops even further in their resolution – I love their one, it's so sweet and sad and such a guy bonding moment. Male friendship is important too, especially to Cloud who doesn't have many friends.

Now, despite the banter, Cloud's head turns at this point, back to Tifa. He's made sure the immediate area is safe, checked in with Barret and now it's back to his primary focus.

I love that Barret calls himself the leading man. It reminds me of Balthier in FF12.

And you'll see that Barret is still in the middle of that line while Cloud is stretching his hand out for Tifa. Could be a “I gotta grab my teammate” move, but I mean, really? Are we that delusional? He didn't have to do any of this. He could've relied on Tifa to get herself over there and not put out a hand for her. Barret didn't grab him. You could say that Barret doesn't like Cloud enough for that, but it's a high action moment. They're comrades and being shot at. Any helping hand is appreciated. Maybe Barret thought Cloud was capable enough not to need help. But then wouldn't the same apply to Tifa? Why does she need helping just cause she's a woman? She can kick ass.

And what about Barret? His attention isn't on Tifa at all. His focus is the helicopter, so he's either relying on Tifa to be ok without that level of help or he's expecting Cloud to support her.

Yes, she is literally throwing herself into his arms. That's how much she trusts him to catch her. Again, Cloud is going for a full arm grab – a hand or wrist isn't secure enough in this situation and he wants to keep her safe.

Tifa. Well, she looks scared. Shocker. She just got shot at by a helicopter. Ofc she's scared and leaning on Cloud. She's taking strength and reassurance from him. I mean, she could've just grabbed his arm and pulled herself to safety. There's no need for this depth of touch.

You'll notice this all happens within miliseconds while Barret says that leading man line. This is very quick action, very decisive. No hesitation on anybody's part.

I mean, this is full upper body contact between them. I don't know what else to say about it. There's no need to get this close. He could've pulled her over and then let go. He didn't. They both prolonged contact. This is relief they're ok for the moment. They’re united in how they feel.

Oh look, eye contact. I've pointed out before that Cloud doesn't do eye contact with people very well, but he does with Tifa, no matter the situation. Looking at this I'm like damn get a room. It's an intense look between them and even though there's shit hitting the fan around them you can see they have attention for each other, too. He's pulled her to safety and now he's meeting her gaze to gauge if she's ok. She nods. He nods. Back to the action. They don't have time for a drawn out romantic bit. They've got more serious things to think about, but even during the most high tension action scenes they have this energy about them that speaks to their close bond and affection. He's comfortable with her touch in every situation – if I'm wrong about this then someone point it out to me so I can see plz. He's still got his hand on her after they separate from their action hug and then when he drops his hand he braces it against the pipe beside her. Still close to her, though not actually touching.

After Barret asks if they're ready, Cloud looks around then looks at Tifa again. Did he need to do that? Idk, but he didn't look at Barret before they hauled ass.

Conclusion:

Kinda obvious. Even in high tension situations Cloud has part of his attention on Tifa. He's hyper aware of where she is and whether she needs him at any given time. It's sweet af how much he focuses on being her hero without even really knowing why. This instinctive need to protect her comes from the real!Cloud part of him. The one that made the promise to her. The one that has a crush on her.

Some people can say these kind of moments don't count because Cloud has no choice(?) but to touch her, but actually, he has no reason to touch her the amount he does. There's ways to execute these moments without this much unnecessary touching. He does it this way because of an instinctive need and desire to touch her this much. It's what he wants to do.

[storiesofsvu]

Rant incoming:

I hate my writing. With a passion. I suck at grammar and spelling.

I constantly am asking for request, to see me get nothing and watching other who have stated their requests are closed still receiving stuff while we chat.

I hate working on something, pouring my heart and soul into it to get 3 likes, a comment and a reblog. Meanwhile I see someone that threw something together in 2 hours that claim it’s crap and get 45 likes and 72 reblogs.

I hate feeling this way but it’s been drilled in me I will never be good enough. As a person, as a writer, as a living being.

And it sucks because I throw myself into mood and start thinking No one would notice or care if I just disappear. Not like I produce any content either. I just, idk. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this sad bitch hour but these feelings have been all I’ve been feeling all day.

Like I just should give up, leave it to others because clearly everyone else is doing better and I’m just here, wishing to get big....

Sorry this took so long.

First and foremost, especially on this site, things are a goddamn MESS. And it REALLY depends on the fandom/pairing you’re writing for, and if your stuff is showing up in the tags. (Related to “throwing something together in 2 hours and claiming its garbage. I’ve done this, cause its pop and it took me an hour to do and personally, I hate it, cause there’s no background, there’s no emotion, but it’s pWP with rafael barba and people are ALL for it, meanwhile the super emotional piece I spent HOURS doing gets nothing cause its not a popular character)

Secondly, you do have to wait a bit before you stuff starts getting picked up and reblogged/shared/etc.

Also, requests are a hard thing to dabble into. When i first started writing, I found multiple prompt lists, wrote down like, 100 of them that I liked, and as I went through them, I would note who/the situation I thought would work best with them and just wrote....slowly I had one person come to me with some asks/prompts for series, and then I started coming up with ideas on my own. All of us started out small and grew to where we are now. As for the getting requests when ppl are closed, sometimes the requester doesn’t see the home page, or doesn’t care, or they don’t think they’re closed cause the ask box is still open. Also it’s important to share a prompt list when you’re asking for requests, and make sure you have info in your bio/pinned post about what fandoms/ships/characters/reader inserts or not that you write for. There have been plenty of times I’ve clicked on someone’s “send req’s” posts only to find NO info on any of that and I lose interest because why bother sending them something they won’t write?/will roll their eyes at?

I get the wanting to get the gratification from likes/reblogs, and sometimes, it hits, and sometimes it just doesn’t. You just have to keep going, add to your work list, add to your fandoms that you want to write for. It may take a long time for that kinda stuff to start increasing followers/reblogs to your blog. It’s also totally okay to reblog your own work! I do it at least once as a time zone reblog, and usually randomly again down the road when I’m re-reading something.

You ARE good enough, trust me, in every sense of the term. Just keep writing, there are plenty of people out there who struggle with the written word, or who English isn’t their first language, and believe me, it’s my only language and I struggle with it ALL the time. It’s a bullshit language. Use resources when you need/want to, otherwise, fuck it, post it. If people don’t want to read it, fuck them. You’re putting time and effort into a creative outlet, and that’s important.

Also...let the thought of “getting big” completely leave your head. Maybe its the old ass in me, maybe it’s the fact that I was at the PEAK of the rise of instagram, I literally watched it rise and watched myself go through various phases of instagram fame. There’s nothing cool about it, same with any kind of social media fame, especially tumblr. Other sites you can earn money off, you cant do that here, there is NOTHING wrong with being a small blog, and you’re not going to gain anything by being “big”. I’d always much rather have a small following and have more interacations with said followers than anything else.

Just keep going. It’s worth it, trust me. 💜

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

[excorcismic]

you ever have that one muse that’s just like . . . no matter how many characters you play , not matter how much time goes by , you will never get sick of writing that muse & they’re such a huge comfort character and mean the world to you ?? YES , that’s me with miss zelda here . i . . . love zelda ( the character and the series ) with every fiber of my being and after a lot of debate i finally decided i’d bring her here !! i’m doing leon’s intro next and will try to get to replies ( want to get down zel’s intro soon but i’d like to plot things first ) afterwards but pls pls pls here’s a detailed plotting call for my princess !! pls like / react if you’re interested - or let me know if we’re already plotting !!

IN A CANON NUTSHELL : so this zelda is the princess from the masterpiece known as breath of the wild - one hundred years before the events of the game , she was kind of the ‘leader’ of the champions , a group of people who were tasked to aid in protecting hyrule once calamity ganon rose again . link , who was also a champion , was assigned as her personal knight - in the beginning . . . she did not like him for the fact that he seemed to have everything under control and she didn’t . why ?? well , zelda , from birth , was told she had to unlock a power in herself that would potentially save hyrule from the calamity , and for some reason , no matter how hard she tried , she couldn’t do it . and she was mad at herself for feeling like a failure when she was put under an intense amount of pressure from her father & the prophecy - even called the heir to a throne of nothing because of how no results came from her ceaseless prayers . EVENTUALLY , her powers would reveal themselves . . . but only after the calamity arrived , all of the champions had been downed ( save for link , on the verge of death ) , and all seemed lost . but she would use her power to protect hyrule & keep the calamity contained inside hyrule castle until link would awaken and finish him off .

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : so zelda . daughter of a preacher ( father ) & a lawyer ( mother , now deceased ) , always expected to be the picture perfect child hence why she never got much of a chance to have a break from endless studying & extra things . she’s always been a straight-a student , has done fencing since she was a child , trilingual in english spanish & mandarin chinese , now a star college student majoring in biology ( her own choice , because she loves science ) and minoring in law ( because her father wants her to be a lawyer like her mother & she uhh hates it ! ) she’s seen as ‘little miss perfect’ because she can do so much and never seems to do any wrong but zelda is uhhh sick of that and is actually now trying to rebel against her father and throw herself into trouble . since lowkey all of this shit is killing her and she wants to breathe freely . she’s trying to do what she wants to do hence why she’s majoring in bio instead of law , working at the local florist instead of taking a law internship , actually trying to pursue a social life outside of the people her dad approves of . that stuff . she’s basically a genius who wants to say ‘fuck u’ to the people telling her what to do and go on her own path and i think that’s sexy .

BUT OHHHHHHHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH ZELDA SO BAD OHHHHHHH

so zelda . given her situation ?? there is so much to work with . lemme spout off these ideas bc i’m so fucking excited .

firstly - people who know about her little miss perfect reputation and either dislike her or are intimidated by her for it . zelda isn’t a snob in the slightest but with someone who does as much as she does it’s only natural to assume she is . but she isn’t , i promise ; she hates that being her epithet .

kind of building off the idea of people knowing abt her whole ‘lmp’ thing - i’d love some folks who actually entertain zelda’s desires to break away from that and take her out to do rebellious shit or something like that !! because zelda wants to get the fuck out she hates it here .

some who encourage her and some who do the opposite - ‘you can do it, don’t be scared’ vs. ‘you really don’t belong here so go back to your books and pencils’

maybe ppl who hold zelda to some sort of pedestal bc of her reputation ?? which is equally as bad to her - she’s lowkey crumbling under all these expectations and she’s amazing but to be seen as someone . . . above other people , she doesn’t like that at all .

also those folks who in any grade of school rly have tried to exploit her need to get good grades & genius to their advantage aka if i pair up with the smart kid we’ll get an a guaranteed . can be anywhere - could’ve been in the past or could be now . 

CLASSMATES in general . from elementary , middle school , high school for the past , and now college classmates .

study buddies !! study buddies that zelda either vibes with immensely in terms of how she works or butts heads with them . her way of thinking is both incredibly organized but also all over the place . she can be either very easy or difficult to work with .

gimme some school rivals or equals aka ppl that zelda’s on par with in terms of intellect/grades and either they fucking hate each other or make a pretty good team . maybe both ! put the smart ppl in a room together and see what happens .

also want to clarify this can be on both the bio or law side for any of these college-based connections bc zelda is taking both she’s just . way more passionate about biology than she is law .

OLD FENCING TEAMMATES OR RIVALS PLEASE yes she is still fencing to this day and she’s awesome at it . she’s got a shitton of medals and she actually likes it but it’s another thing that was forced upon her since she was young .

her dad is a local preacher so by nature she’s always expected to be at church so ppl who know her as the preacher’s daughter/from church bc imma keep it real zelda ain’t that enthused abt that religion either but again . once again have to fill father’s expectations . one day tho she’s just gonna stop showing up .

i’d like maybe a social circle who zelda’s father approves of ?? like , friends who zelda has but they’re more so just bc that’s what mr. king wanted . i’d also like a partner/ex-partner to fit this description aka zelda’s not rly that into it or was into it bc it was again . kinda just ‘i’m just dating you bc my dad approves of you’ kinda deal and maybe she tried but overall . didn’t/doesn’t work .

i also , though , like the idea of a social circle who zelda’s father would never approve of and she hangs w/ them bc maybe she likes them or maybe she also just wants to prove a point . maybe she dated someone for this reason too - just the whole spectrum of ‘what dad wants vs. what dad wasn’t’ bc pissing off her dad is kind of a major goal at this point .

so maybe regular customers of the flower shop she works at - she just . zelda rly loves flowers & nature ( and again science as a whole , especially life science hence biology ) and she can go off on so many tangent about flowers please talk to her about flowers . maybe even bring her some flowers too jk unless

i’d rly find it awesome if zelda had some ppl who maybe liked her enough to follow her when she goes out just studying things and listen to her bc she loves to talk about her passions - she likes taking hikes and trips out into nature or the botanical gardens and stuff like that to do studies / experiments of her own . she likes museums , gardens , the outdoors - zelda loves knowledge and learning about things and if someone just kept her company while she did so that’d be awesome .

i’m a sucker for canon parallels with non-canon characters so . maybe a relationship that doesn’t rly have any specificity in what portion of zelda’s life ( school , father approved social circle , father disapproved social circle , night life etc etc ) but mirrors her relationship with link in breath of the wild - for whatever reason , zelda and this other character are around each other very frequently and the beginning for some reason she is very put off by it but then comes around and eventually this muse , they become extremely closer with her and important to her . in any way !! idk if it’s platonic or romantic but , in rps like this that’s lowkey my jam but it works the best with miss zelda

AS ALWAYS - friends ! enemies !  former crushes ! exes ! gimme anything and all !! the princess of hyrule is AT YOUR SERVICE and i’m so excited to write her . i love her .

and now . . . onto leon’s intro i hopefully go .

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever dated someone more than twice your age? No.

Have you ever “dined and dashed”? Absolutely not.

Have you ever been cut off by a bartender because you were too drunk? No.

Have you ever borrowed money from your mom & lied about why you needed it? Nope.

Have you ever dated someone just because they had money? No, and I never would.

Have you ever lied to your spouse about the money you spent shopping? Never been in a serious relationship where I discussed my spending habits, but if I was I wouldn’t feel any reason to lie about what I did with my own money.

Have you ever flirted with a cop to get out of a ticket? Never been in a situation where I got pulled over or issued a ticket for any reason, but I wouldn’t even attempt doing something like that. I’d just take the ticket and either pay it or try to fight it if I felt I wasn’t deserving of it. Not to mention, it wouldn’t work cause I’m an ugly mess and have no flirting skills at all lol. That takes confidence that I don’t have.  Have you ever gone on a first date with no underwear? No.

Do you treat attractive people better than others who aren’t as attractive? Uh, no. That’s a really shitty thing to do.

Are you more comfortable with friends that are less attractive than you? Wow. I don’t think about the attractiveness of people when befriending someone, that’s not even a thought in my mind. I befriend people based on them as people, on their personality and character. Ya know, the important stuff. I’m also not a narcissistic, vain, arrogant, cocky person who thinks I’m better than other people. Plus, ya’ll know my self-esteem is shit.

Have you ever hated a job to the point that you tried to get fired? Never had a job, but if I was that unhappy I think I would just try and find something else if possible and then quit? I wouldn’t want to get fired.

Have you ever lied about your weight on a driver license? No.

Have you ever lied during a job interview? Never had a job interview.

Have you ever lied to your boss to get out of work?

Have you ever lied under oath in court? Never been in court.

Have you ever bought alcohol for someone underage? No.

Have you ever started a rumor to ruin someones reputation? No.

Have you ever switched tags on an item to pay less for it? No.

Have you taken any pics of yourself that you wont want your parents to see? Yes. No nudes, but sad attempts at sexy poses haha.

Did you ever tell your BF/GF you like their outfit when you really didn’t? I don’t think to a boyfriend specifically, but I’ve said that to people, yes :X I feel bad if someone asks if I like their outfit or hair and I don’t. I’ve been honest as well, in a nice way of course, but I feel bad. I’ve been like, “Maybe not in that color or style” or “try a different pair” or something. But I also like to make known that it’s just my personal opinion, so if they like it and it makes them feel good then go for it cause that’s what matters.

Did you ever get fired and tell someone you were laid off?

Would you turn a family member in if you saw them commit murder? Yikesss.

Have you ever turned in a school paper that someone else wrote for you? I never had anyone else write a paper or do any assignment for me.

Have you ever written a check that you knew was going to bounce? No.

Do you feel accepted by your BF/GF ’s family? I’m single.

If you were an employer, would you hire someone with your exact work ethic? With my work ethic? Uh, no haha. I’m not doing anything productive with my life. I have no energy, no motivation. I would not be useful to anyone.

Do you lie about your age? Nope. 

Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? I don’t know. :X I feel like that makes me a bad person. That’s not to say I wouldn’t try to help them in some way either by myself or by getting them the necessary help. 

Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? No.

Have you ever snuck out of the house to go out with friends? Nope. I wouldn’t have had to do that, I could have had a social life when I was a teenager, my parents would have encouraged it. I just... didn’t. I was a total homebody.

Have you ever shoplifted? No.

Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? Yes. Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? Nooo. I’ve never been embarrassed by my parents, never would be. I have awesome parents and I love them. My mom and I are especially close, she’s my best friend. And besides, everyone always thought my parents were cool haha. 

Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Yes. That’s the proper protocol, right? I’m not gonna be an ass and say nothing.

Have you ever dis-liked some because you thought they look better than you? Wow, no. I got into this already with the friends question. I don’t base how I feel about someone as a person based on how they look. That has nothing to do with who they really are. My brain also just doesn’t work that way, like I don’t see or meet someone and think, “hm they’re really attractive, that could be a threat to me in some way and I don’t like them” or something. Like what??

Have you ever used someones handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? I’m handicapped and have my own parking placard, thanks. Please don’t do that, though. 

Hve you ever held back a well deserved compliment because you were jealous? I might have before.

Do you guilt people into giving you what you want? If I’ve ever done this, it wasn’t intentionally. <<< Yeah, I don’t pull the disability or health problems card. I’ve done it in a playful way with my family like, “aww I don’t feel good, I bet my favorite food would make me feel better *wink wink*” but that’s it. However, I feel that happens without me doing that if that makes sense. Like, I think people get things for me sometimes because they know I’m going through a hard time and feel bad for me. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.

Would most ppl consider you better than average looking? Uh, I highly doubt that. We know how I feel about myself, but others would probably just say I’m average to be nice

For yourself, would you rather have a perfect body or high IQ? High IQ. 

Have you ever embarrassed some intentionally in public? Not intentionally, but I’m sure I have.

Have you ever used a false ID? Nope.

Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I don’t have a job, soo.

Would you give up your car to save the planet? I don’t even have a car. I’m glad my parents and brother have their own cars, though... I see it as a necessity for us.

Are you more likely to believe a man or woman? I don’t decide who to believe based on gender. I hear what they have to say and make my own judgment. Unless they give me a reason to doubt or be skeptical then I’ll likely believe them.

Has your credit card ever been declined? No.

If you ran over an animal would you keep driving? Gahhh. I don’t drive, but that’s something that worries me.

Do you think your parents are too critical of you? No.

Would you cover up your boss’s wrong doing for a promotion? Uhh, what kinda shady company am I working for?? 

Do you avoid conversation with ppl you think are smarter than you? I admit that I feel intimidated and would feel self-conscious about myself. Like if they asked me about something I didn’t know about or was having a conversation I couldn’t contribute to. I’ve been around people who I felt dumb or bad about myself around and as though I was being judged, so I definitely try to avoid that. There’s also been times where it was encouraged to ask questions and the person was inviting and didn’t make me feel inferior in some way.

Ever blame a sibling for something you did wrong? No.

Have you ever dated someone you met through a personal ad? Nope. Also, personal ad sounds so old school lol.

Ever lie about you [or your kids] age to get a discount? May have stretched the kid’s discount a couple years a time or two when I was a kid. :X Like if the cutoff was 11, but I was like 12 or 13. Shhhh. 

Have you ever accepted credit for someone else’s work? No.

Did you ever buy something expensive,wear it once and return it? No.

Have you ever re-gifted something? >> Of course. No use keeping something I’m not going to use, or that someone else would enjoy more. <<< Same. I don’t really see it as a bad thing. And I’m usually upfront about it anyway like hey I thought maybe you would enjoy this, I don’t personally have any use for it right now or something.

Do you really care about saving the planet for future generations? I care, but I admit I’m not doing much about it.

[queenofthefaces]

kyle for the character thing!!!!

Buckle up bc I’m extra af and love talking abt characters. Be aware this is like, entirely personal opinion and personal interpretation and also it’s almost 2am so LETS GO

1) sexuality hc: I’ve always really liked bi Kyle ahsjdkfk and tbh I’ve always found the idea of his attraction to other ppl really interesting

The way I characterize him is that he’s someone who’s like, typically very passive with his attraction. He’ll kind of glance at someone and think they’re attractive but he doesn’t necessarily have any strong feelings towards them or desire/drive to want to pursue anything with them. If he does want to pursue them it’s usually out of a sense of obligation or expectation—like a “well I might as well” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” kinda thing

Except Kyle DOES have exceptions—when he finds someone he feels passionately about, someone he’s emotionally and mentally invested in, it’s like 0-100 in terms of difference, bc suddenly he can’t stop thinking abt that person, how much he wants to be with them, etc. and a lot of that characterization, for me, falls in line w the specific ship I have for Kyle (which is obvious if you’ve followed me for a few but I’ll get Into That in the next section)

2) OTP: KYMAN by far my fave Kyle ship and one of my all time fave sp ships overall. I’ve always LOVED rivals/enemies to lovers ships that specifically have 1) characters who are equals 2) characters who are incredibly intimate and close w one another even if (or because of) it’s in the context of the rivalry 3) the characters have either some level of co-dependence or a need for the dynamic or one another in some way bc the relationship is fulfilling to them and bonus if 4) they’re the only ones that really understand each other

And I jus. Love that. Esp w kyman it’s so much fun taking that dynamic, the codependency and obsession, and just. Playing with it, on a storytelling/character analysis level. And then making it healthy, having them work through issues, bc the idea that “we’re both in way too deep with each other, we can either destroy each other or learn to get along” is jus 👌👌👌

And w kyman I love having Eric be Kyle’s exception. Kyle feels basically nothing towards his other s/o’s in contrast to how deeply he feels about Eric, and for Eric to have just as much depth of emotion in return. It’s fascinating and really fun esp when written from a kind of duo-redemptive story—they both start out toxic towards each other, and their relationship is toxic to other people, but they can’t bring themselves to put an end to it so they finally make it to that middle ground and come out as better peoole, together

This applies to a lot of my rivals/enemies to lovers ships but w kyman in particular there’s the added Funkiness of the childhood friends dynamic which is TASTEY like some nice sprinkles to jus add that extra Flavour. I love the concept of Kyle and Eric forming parts of their entire identities around each other from the time they were in diapers and everyone accepts that they’re always gonna he crazy for each other bc no one has the bond they do it’s so much fun

4) brotp: I should think more abt Kyle friendships tbh I don’t give those as much attention ahsjdkfkfk—tho I definitely have a soft spot for the super best friends kyle + Stan, I just have to work some development into it.

I love exploring their friendship as smth that deteriorates bc they grow apart as people, but then they realize they don’t WANT to grow apart and have to work to stay friends bc being friends isn’t as easy as it was when you were 8. It brings this really cool development that confronts Stan’s passivity towards his friends/his nihilism and Kyle’s entitlement and lack of emotional sensitivity and how they both need to make some compromises (but esp Kyle, bc I can see Stan as someone who tries very hard to not get much feedback).

In terms of Kyle being friends w other people I’m thinking it would be pretty situational. I can see Kyle getting some really eye opening perspectives from other ppl if he opens himself up to their views but that requires knocking Kyle down a few pegs lol, it’s fun to have him learn to recognize his own assumptions abt ppl and learning to value them as individuals yanno?

3) notp: honestly? Any other kyle ship. I can personally only see Kyle w Eric ahsjdkfk kyman endgame all the way. For me, a lot of other Kyle ships like, don’t make any sense, a lot in part bc I see Kyle as someone who has a lot of issues w socialization, entitlement, and selfishness along with his UNENDING OBSESSION w Eric Cartman (which also somewhat stems from those issues bc of Kyle’s sense of self identity vis a vis the rivalry)

Like, I can’t see Kyle sitting down and forming a meaningful romantic relationship w anyone else bc like, no one can provide the fulfillment, engagement, drive, and push/pull of Kyle’s relationship w Eric. Kyle would leave at the drop of a hat to confront smth Eric was doing and I don’t think he’d ever compromise with that. And someone who does compromise on that probably isn’t someone Kyle would want to be with in the long run.

I think the only ship I can see would be like, poly m4 bc that draws on pre-existing dynamics and doesn’t break or try to divy up Kyle’s attention. (Even tho like I said I don’t like Kyle w anyone else romantically)

5) 1st hc that pops in my head: my Kyle is autistic as fuck. Characterizing him as autistic gives a lot of insight into how his mind works and why he acts the way he does—a lot of his thought processes are just. What makes the most logical sense to him. It’s just that those trains of thought are on KYLES logic and that’s when he struggles to realize when he’s crossed a line or overstepped a boundary. Or how his brain is usually always “self-centered”—not in a morally negative way, just in that it’s not a natural reflect for him to remember other people.

And a ton of other things as well( including a fun hc of Kyle trying to use his autism as an excuse for being a dick, until Also Autistic Craig steps up like, no dude you’re just an asshole bc you’re not trying to do better). And bc as an autistic person, I really relate hard to Kyle to the point where if he were real I’d probably hate him bc we’d be too similar lmao; I think esp when I was a kid I acted a lot like Kyle—the self righteousness, the bossiness, the belief that my way was the only way that made sense and everyone else was just Wrong, the anger issues, etc.

It’s why I’m tough on Kyle a lot of the time, but it’s also why I love thinking abt his development, bc I know firsthand that he can mellow out, change, become a better, more wellrounded and emotionally aware person, and how he can make an effort into doing so

6) oh shit I didn’t even mean for this but obviously one way I relate to Kyle is the Above autistic hc and how I characterize him. Like I said, I acted a LOT like Kyle when I was a kid, so I know he’s an irritating little shit, but also brilliant and too thoughtful for his own good sometimes.

But another thing: I characterize Kyle as someone who is a natural leader, but hates being in official leadership positions. And this is also smth I’ve kinda written due to personal experience. But also from the way kyles often portrayed in canon—in the games, he’s always a support role, always a healer, ranged fighter, or someone who boosts and buffs allies

I see Kyle as the type of person who can easily take control in, for example, a group project situation, or when he’s hanging out with Stan and they’re only doing what Kyle wants to do bc Kyle comes up with all the ideas and Stan just goes along with them

But I can’t see Kyle as someone who’d want to be, like, student counsel president. (That’s more Wendy’s wheelhouse) Mostly bc there’s too much responsibility that it’s just exhausting, and more than that, those official positions are STIFLING. They run on someone else’s schedule and they’re creatively constructive. You can’t fully do your own thing bc you have to be constantly aware of how the group works and what the group wants. I can’t see Kyle as being happy in that position bc he’d get sick of having to conform his ideas to what other ppl want—he just wants to do his own thing.

So instead, Kyle would be more comfortable in a supporting role. Bc in a position like, for example, secretary or VP, he can still have a lot of influence, power, and knowledge, but he’s free from those restrictions that come from being the face of a group. And he’s also free from the social obligations of being a leader, esp in having to deal w other groups in like a business sort of way. AND if the group falls, Kyle won’t take as much of the blame, bc it’s probably not his fault anyways so why should everyone point fingers at him. It’s much less pressure.

(And it’s also kinda inspired by his role in the CBAA??—Cartman’s perfect in the CEO/face of the company position bc Cartman is comfortable with and relishes in the attention and social aspect of being the face/leader of a company, and Kyle can reap all the benefits of being a part of that company, including being an integral pillar of the company, w/o the deficits. If Eric and Kyle ran a company they’d work together, sure, but Eric would crumble without Kyle’s support, and Kyle would hate the stifling pressure of the head position, which makes them a perfect pair.)

(And again this is based on personal experience—I’m a natural leader. People listen to me, I can organize groups, and I’m a good mediator, but I hate when it becomes Official bc I can’t just. Do my own thing as I want to and it’s far too much to keep track of and most of it doesn’t interest me. It always irritated me when my parents tried to push me into like running for student president bc I just kept thinking abt all the work I’d have to do that I wouldn’t care abt)

7) what gives me secondhand embarrassment about Kyle? Well. Just......how much he reminds me of when I was a stupid kid. He’s such a little shit oh my god Kyle shut the fuck up YOURE NOT GHANDI. When Kyle’s being entitled and stuck up, when he thinks he’s better than other ppl, and when his own big mouth and pride are what fucks him over I’m just oh my god. Oh my GODDDDDD SHUT UPPPPP.

Mostly it’s secondhand embarrassment bc I’m jus oh my god ur an idiot—but again bc I know he has the ability to grow out of that and look back on himself with a grimace at how dumb he was ahsjdkfkfk

8) cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Definitely the latter, I love Kyle and I love when he’s happy and contented but him as a cinnamon roll kinda character feels so flat to me. I love him as a problematic fave he’s so much fun as a disaster. He’s complex—he’s tough and caring and angry and compassionate and an absolute fireball of EMOTIONS but he tries to act like he’s a logical rational person and I jus? He’s so much more fun and dynamic when he’s allowed to be messy

(Of course this is long why wouldn’t it be AHSJDKDKKFKGLGLH)

[jawnjendes]

bonus: i am all of me | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: the goth gf series is now a finalist in the @shawnblrficawards which is???? so fucking wild??? ppl care abt my story??? so yeah, to celebrate HERE IS A THROWBACK by throwback i mean this takes place in the university days, before the shawn meets series

goth gf masterlist | vote for goth gf maybe? | shawn meets masterlist

For someone who deviates the norm on a regular basis, I hung out with a lot of normal people. Most of my “goth” friends were back home in California, and the only “goth” friend I had here in Toronto was Patrick Markowski. He preferred not to be around the normies I hung out with, so it was just me against the world sometimes.

It’s not like I meant for my friend group to end up like this. At first, my only normal friend was Stella. But Stella was friends with Camila, who was friends with Shawn, who had been dating me for the last three months. Shawn was quite popular around campus, and he was always seen talking to someone. People liked him, and he loved people. I preferred laying low and being invisible, even though that was hard to do.

I was always in black lace, fishnets, platforms, or all of the above. I was rarely caught without my hair in my face or my signature winged liner. Putting me next to a normal guy was odd, and that wasn’t hard to notice. If Shawn introduced me to a stranger, that stranger always had the mildly disapproving stare. Not to mention, one of his friends just viewed me as the target to playfully bully.

When it came from the group of normal people I hang around with, it’s fine. Shawn’s best friend, Brian, constantly took the piss out of me. It was our primary form of communication at this point. I wear black, I steal souls and drink virgin blood. I can joke about it too. I actually liked it sometimes. It was fun to joke about my plan to steal Shawn’s heart and sacrifice it to Satan. Just girly things, y’know?

There’s something I didn’t appreciate, though. And it didn’t come from Brian or Shawn or anyone, really. It came from my own pride and lack of brain cells. It took one random game of Odds On with Camila that brought me face to face with a monstrosity and the realization that I may take this goth thing more seriously than I thought.

Camila was grinning as she held up the pink, ruffly dress. “You’re gonna look so pretty.”

Behind her, Stella was giggling. She witnessed the Odds On and was there to make sure I kept my word.

The dress was short sleeved, and the ruffles made a very poofy skirt. The pink was a horrifying pastel that made my skin crawl. I didn’t mind colors as long as I’m wasn’t the one wearing them.

“What dumpster did you pull that out of?” I asked.

“Forever 21!” Camila happily replied, laying the dress down on my bed.

“And you literally just bought this today?”

“Yup! You can keep it after as a token of my friendship.” She stuck her tongue out. “So, from sun up to sun down tomorrow, you have to wear this. And I have to see you at least once so I know you didn't cheat! No changing either!”

I always kept my word, almost to a fault. That’s why I didn’t bring up the knot in my stomach, or the dread hanging on my shoulders to anyone. I didn’t mention how pushing someone out of their comfort zone could do more harm than good. It was just a silly little bet. It was just clothing. I shouldn’t have been so worried about it.

That didn’t exactly stop me from telling Shawn about it over FaceTime. I kept my frustrations on a low simmer, knowing that Camila was one of my boyfriend’s friends.

“So don’t do it,” Shawn told me. “It’s a meaningless bet, right?”

“But I made a promise, and Camila already spent money at Forever fucking 21!”

“Mm, you do hate that store.”

“So much… Fuck, I’m actually dreading tomrrow.”

“Aw, babe…” He looked at me for a moment. “What if you fake sick? It’ll be believable since you get sick a lot.”

I hummed. “I’d have to wear it the next day. The point is for me to look stupid and out of character in public.”

“What if you accidentally damage the dress?”

“She’ll know I did it on purpose, and then I’d end up owing her…” I reached for the flimsy fabric on the floor and found the tag. “Thirty-five dollars?!”

Shawn didn’t say anything for a second. “Well… at least you look cute in pink!”

That made me groan in annoyance. No one seemed to get it. “It doesn’t matter how cute I look! It’s not my color! I’m gonna look so out of it and, and... “ I sighed and threw the dress back on the floor.

~

A deep pit formed in my stomach overnight. I wished it was enough to keep me bedridden, but the dress was going to be worn no matter what. I got ready for my morning classes as I normally did. Intense liner, black lipstick, kept my hair down. Put the dress on and paired it with my combat boots. Once I looked as least uncomfortable as could be, Stella came knocking on the door.

“Let me see, let me see!”

I couldn’t even fake a smile as I opened the door. Actually, I scowled at my roommate, who had her phone out. The flash went off, and I immediately used my bedroom door to shield myself.

“No pictures!” I snapped.

“Oh come on! Camila has to see that you followed through!” Stella replied. When I ignored her, she sighed. “Okay, my phone is in my pocket! And we’ll see Camila later today, anyway!”

I poked my head out the door, making sure my roommate kept her word. Still, nothing could really make this better. Well, apart from getting rid of the stupid dress.

"Let's get today overwith," I mumbled, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

Thankfully, Camila forgot to get a matching coat for today's look, so I found refuge in my leather jacket. That made going to classes a little easier, but I still felt out of place and just… not good. No one in my classes cared about how I looked, and that was fine. The permanent scowl on my face kept the guys in gaming club from saying anything at all too. My problem wasn't the fear of being singled out and made fun of. That happened when I dressed normally, I was immune to that.

Trust me, I was very aware of how dramatic I looked all the time. I knew just how odd I looked with my group of normal friends and my normal boyfriend. That's just how I am, and that's probably what bugged me. I was blending in too much, and it was so far from me that I wanted to jump out of my own skin.

Every part of me wanted to just fuck off to my dorm after my psychology class, but I had to remember my promise to Camila. She had to see for herself that I followed through. She sent a text asking to meet her at one of the picnic tables on the courtyard, and I knew damn well it wasn't going to be just her.

The distaste on my face was amusing to Camila, Stella, Brian, and Connor as I approached the table. I had my arms folded as their faces lit up in shock.

"Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine?" Camila giggled. "I can't believe you did it!"

I only chewed the inside of my cheek. Then, I turned to Brian, who was beside himself with silence. It's better than laughing in my face, I suppose.

"Go ahead, lay it on me," I told him.

"I would," he replied, "but Shawn…"

"Huh?"

The other three at the table were nodding in agreement. Camila pointed behind me, so I looked.

My jaw dropped.

There he was, six foot something in the exact same pink, ruffled dress as me. The top half of the dress was tight over his broad chest, it probably didn't zip all the way. The skirt was very short, showing a lot of Shawn's thighs. He bounded over to the table like nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Hey guys," he greeted, slinging his arm around me.

I was still caught with my mouth open at the sight of him.

"Oh my god," Camila said, floored.

"Well, don't we look pretty?" Brian said with a laugh.

"I'm always pretty, thanks," Shawn replied, dramatically running his fingers through his hair.

I was still silent. I didn't even know where to begin: The fact that the top half of the dress was one wrong move away from ripping? The fact that Shawn was on the receiving end of Brian's roasting? The fact that Shawn heard my mindless venting and took matters into his own hands? Or the fact that he did this shit instead of simply bringing me a bigger jacket? There was just too much to unpack here.

That, and a new appreciation for this guy I was dating. My shocked expression had morphed into a soft grin the longer I watched him casually talk with his friends.

It was a thoughtful(?) gesture, but it didn't fix anything.

~

I followed Shawn home like a lost puppy at the end of the school day. Apart from teasing thigh touches, neither of us had properly talked about our matching attire. Shawn talked about everything no matter what, so this was a little strange.

It was strange because I wanted to talk about it.

"So," I began when we were in his car, although I quickly realized I didn't know how to go about this. "Um… what the fuck?"

Shawn glanced at her once as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Huh?”

I gestured to the outfit, an expectant look on my face.

“Oh, that,” he said. “I figured you wanted the attention off of you.”

“So you got the same dress?”

“I got the same dress.”

There was a pause as I looked at him, a half smile on my face. My brain was still having trouble processing the fact that he did this… for me. Or, at all.

“Well…” I trailed off, pushing away the cheesy words threatening to spill out. “...that was pretty cool. Thanks.”

Shawn reached across the center console and took my hand. “You sounded pretty upset on FaceTime. I just wanted to make it a little easier for you.”

“It’s no big deal.”

He opened his mouth to say something else, but decided against it.

“What?” I asked. You can’t just do that and expect me not to question it.

Apparently, that was all Shawn needed for him to spill. “You made it seem like it was the end of the world. You kept saying that you had to follow through, but you weren’t happy about it at all. Even for a meaningless bet. I’m just wondering why.

“Uh…”

“You don’t have to tell me, of course,” he quickly added. “Whatever you want. I can listen, or we can pretend like this day never happened.”

If he had been looking at me and not the road, then this would have been an easy choice. Forget everything and burn the dress. But there was no eye contact in this vehicle. The words that had piled up in my throat since the bet finally started to spill out.

"Not to be all, 'it's not a phase mom,'" I began, "but the chokers, the dark makeup, and the skulls? It's all I am. It's apart of me. I was in black onesies as a baby. That whole subculture is my sense of belonging. The dark, creepy shit the mainstream world hates is my happy place. And it was taken away from me today.”

“So why didn’t you explain that to Camila? She would have understood.”

“I didn’t say anything because I would have gotten upset. Or worse, I would have cried.” I sighed. “Besides, it’s just clothing. It’s all vanity. It’s stupid for someone to throw a fit over things like that.”

I kept my eyes out the window. Shawn gently squeezed my hand to get me to turn back to him.

“It’s not stupid,” he told me. “You said it’s where you belong, and there’s nothing stupid about that. If how you express yourself is important to you, then no one can tell you otherwise.”

Oof, there’s that sting in my throat. I placed my free hand on top of his. “No offense to your friend, but if she wasn’t so taken with my friend, I would have clocked her for suggesting this in the first place.”

Shawn chuckled, then paused. “Wait. Taken with? Camila is taken with Stella?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. They seem close, I just didn’t wanna start anything with Camila, for Stella's sake."

"Gotcha. So…" Shawn's tone indicated that the subject was changing. "You gonna let me rip that dress off of you when we get to my place?"

"Mm… yeah."

_______

goth gf taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @someoneunimportantxx @goldenmndes @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @parkeraul @ruinhoney @calyumthomas @havethetimeeofyourlifee @chillingbythesea @wronglanemendes @softmendesss

[commander-rahrah]

RESIDENCY (AN OPEN HEART FIC): PART SEVENTEEN

Pairing: MC (Jordynne Holland) X Ethan Ramsey X Bryce Lahela; MC X Bryce; MC X Ethan

Masterlist: Click Here

Chapter Rating: T (Swearing)

Word Count: 3600+

Description: Ethan comes back to Boston after hearing about Jordynne’s suspension and upcoming hearing. Jordynne is upfront about her feelings to someone. Bryce finally says what he has been thinking for a while now.  

Disclaimer: Characters, storyline, and parts of the dialogue are taken from Pixelberry’s Choices. They fully own the characters, dialogue, backgrounds, etc. MC Jordynne’s background is my own creation, based loosely off of MC in-game’s personality and provided with more details.

Author’s Note: Typing up 3600+ fanfiction on your iPhone is not very fun. If my phone calls Bryce “Bruce” one more time I may rage. I have had scenes from this chapter stuck in my head FOREVER. I’m so glad to finally post this chapter because it also means I am getting closer to the 30 diamond scene with Ethan!!!!!!! 

Also, this fic is now at over 75K words total! Which is super crazy insane. 

As always any and all likes, reblogs and comments are VERY appreciated. If you would like to tagged for future updates, please reply or send me a DM to be added to the tag list. <3

PS: Speaking of the tag list, can you tell me if your tag works?! :)I’ve been having so many issues with it, and it drives me crazy. I have gone through it and edited -- realizing there was some ppl I never added (facepalm), new handles, etc. If you ever want to be removed please just let me know!

Taglist: @drakewalkerfantasy​ @owleyes374​ @lahelable​ @mayar-mahdy​ @paisleylovergirl​ @nicquix​ @emilymay100​ @octobereighth​ @llamasgrl​ @timmagicktoad​ @lilyofchoices​ @msjpuddleduck​ @mfackenthal​ @paulfwesley​ @ccolz88-blog​ @jooous​ @themingdynasty​ @perriewinklenerdie​@mindlessdreaminxo @jens-diamondchoices​ @omgjasminesimone​ @indiacater​ @chasingrobbie​ @writingsbymissy​ @binny1985​

Previous Updates: Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part ElevenPart Twelve Part Thirteen Part Fourteen Part Fifteen Part Sixteen

Song Inspiration: Ghostin’ - Ariana Grande

I know you hear me when I cry I try to hold it in the night While you're sleepin' next to me But it's your arms that I need this time 

Look at the cards that we've been dealt If you were anybody else Probably wouldn't last a day Every tear's a rain parade from hell

Baby, you do it so well

You been so understanding, you been so good And I'm puttin' you through more than one ever should And I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to Admit that it hurts you

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again Over him, mmh I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again 'Stead of ghostin' him

Previous Chapter: Part Sixteen

It was weird coming back to Edenbrook.

It looked different somehow.

Did it though? Maybe Ethan’s mind was just playing tricks on him. Guilting him for walking away from the place he had called his home for ten years.

It was still early — and especially after a night of triage — there wasn’t a lot of staff yet. The soft light of the sun rising was cast into the atrium, turning the white walls and floors orange.

Ethan ducked into the elevator quickly — avoiding any lingering stares or confused faces. He wasn’t sure if anyone would recognize him without his white coat and quaffed hair. Not many people had seen Dr. Ramsey is wrinkled trousers and threadbare sweaters. But this was an emergency.

He walked the familiar path to the chief’s office — hesitating at the door before finally pushing himself to knock.

He heard the familiar clicks of Harper’s heels before she opened the door. Her expression was stunned — blinking at the sight of him. Then it turned — her eyebrows furrowing and arms crossing over her chest. She spun on her heel — going back into the room, and leaned against the edge of her desk.

“So it just took dropping her name to get you back here, hey?” Her mouth was gritted into a hard line.

Ethan swallowed, shoving his hands into his pockets, “What?”

“Holland. You quit, leave us high and dry, dodge my calls, tell me to fuck off —,” Harper’s nostrils flared, “But one message about Dr. Holland being suspended and here you are.”

Ethan wasn’t sure what to say.

She sighed at his silence, “Well, it’s too late — she’s suspended and the preliminary ethics hearing is in a few hours. You can’t vouch for her anymore.”

“She’s a good doctor, Harper. You know that.” He stepped forward — his blue eyes big, pleading.

“She is. And it’s a shame that she probably won’t be a doctor anymore after this.”

His stomach tightened as she said that. He couldn’t imagine her not being a doctor — everything she had worked so hard for. It just couldn’t happen. He opened his mouth to speak, but she caught him off.

“You can’t do anything, Ethan. You don’t work here anymore — you don’t have a spot on the panel.” She shook her head, her silver hoops dangling off of her ears, “And there is no chance you’re testifying.”

He took his hands out of his pockets, putting them out to her, “If anybody in this place knows her character it’s me.”

“Exactly. You’re too close to this, Ethan...,” Her brown eyes betrayed her for a moment, “I know you have feelings for her.”

“I—“ Ethan blinked, his mind whirling. He did — he knew, Jordynne knew that. And apparently, Harper did too. How did she know?

She noticed the quizzical look on his face and furrow in his brow. “I’ve seen the way you look at her — I can recognize it anywhere. You used to look at me like that. Once upon a time.”

The pair stood in silence — remembering the time that they were together. Before their schedules and administration got in the way. Before bitterness and tension settled in. Before everything had changed.

“I don’t even know if something’s happened between you two — and I don’t want to. But if the council gets a whiff of it, Ethan — it’s over. She needs a fair, clean trial. And having the Attending she may or may not be romantically involved with testify for her will not help.” Harper stepped forward, grabbing onto the crook of his elbow,  “I’m not just saying this as administration Ethan, I’m saying this as your friend. The best thing you can do for her, for both of you, is to stay out of this.”

He chewed on his lip — doing his best to keep his emotions at bay. He wanted to hold on — to fight. His heart wanted to so desperately. But his mind — it knew better. She didn’t need someone like him. A failure. The heartless robot.

“I won’t interfere,” Ethan finally croaked, looking down at his feet.

“Good.” She finally let go of his arm, pushing her hands back onto the desk. “So are you going to tell me why you quit?”

He closed his eyes — his throat closing up. What was he going to tell her? That he had secretly been treating a patient in the newly constructed wing behind her back? Oh, and that patient was Naveen — both of their long-time friend and mentor. And he had handed him his death sentence last week. “I can’t.”

“No, Ethan. You just won’t.” Harper let out an exasperated sigh, before moving around to the other side of her desk. “I have a hearing to prepare for, so if you could see yourself out.” She started shuffling through papers — not looking at him.

He stood there for a moment — and nothing came to mind. Pursing his lips, He turned on his heel and left her office — closing the door quietly behind him.

_______________________________________________________________________

Jordynne sat on the edge of her bed — the mattress sinking softly, the soft white duvet wrinkling. She let out a loud exhale — her face buried into her hands, arms propped up against her knees. She was still wearing her blouse and blazer — her attempt to look professional for her preliminary hearing.

She wasn’t sure if it had worked. The formal hearing was still called. Chief Emery announced her official suspension until then. Jordynne had to turn in her badge and watch as Zaid and Ines reassigned her cases to the other interns.

She needed to be confident — she knew that. Everything was on the line. But it’s what she had needed to do. Walking around the hospital, hiding what she had done was wrong. She had given Mrs. Martinez a chance — hope. And even though it hadn’t worked out the way they had wanted it, Jordynne knew that Teresa would not want her to regret it.

But she still couldn’t fight the aching inside her.

Falling back onto the mattress, her blonde hair fanned out behind her. She needed to focus on the hearing — this was her career, everything she had been working for. But she couldn’t help the gnawing in the back of her mind, the pain that felt like a knife slowly twisting in her stomach.

She didn’t want to leave Edenbrook. She definitely did not want to leave Boston. There were so many unanswered questions, so much more left to learn and explore and see. And the people.

Jordynne gulped guiltily. The people — that’s why she didn’t want to leave. Was it people? A certain person? Her mind was reeling.

A soft knock at her open bedroom door caused her to blink back to reality. Her eyebrows furrowed — she was home alone, all of her roommates where working shifts at the hospital. And Landry hadn’t been to the apartment in days. Thankfully.

The tiny form of Sienna poked her head around the door, her almond eyes soft. “Hey, how you holding up?”

Jordynne pushed herself up onto her elbows, looking at her roommate quizzically, “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Yeah, I just came home for my lunch instead today.” She shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

“Sienna...”

Her friend chewed her lip, “I just wanted to make sure you were OK.”

“You don’t have to do that.” She played with her fingers, looking down at the worn floor of her bedroom.

“I know I don’t have to. But I wanted to.”

“Right,” Jordynne murmured. Another sigh escaped her lips as she fell back onto the mattress.

“Hey, everything will be okay. You’re gonna rock this trial.” Jordynne felt the mattress sink a little as her roommate sat on the edge of it.

“It’s not just the trial.” She croaked out, blinking away tears as she stared up at the ceiling.

Sienna’s eyebrows furrowed as she thought, “Is it Br—“

“It’s Ethan.” She blurted out, interrupting.

Sienna was quiet for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed even deeper. “Ramsey?”

“Yes.”

“Dr. Ramsey?” She questioned again.

She nodded.

“The Doctor Ethan Ramsey?” Her eyebrows raises high on her face, her neck strained as he looked at her friend.

“Sienna!” Jordynne reached behind her and grabbed onto a pillow. She hit her friend with it lightly.

“Sorry!” She put her hands up in defense, “It’s just just — Wow... Ethan Ramsey. And you mean... like...”

“Yeah.” Grabbing the pillow from the floor, Jordynne clutched it to her chest and she laid back down.

“Wow.” She repeated, “Did you...?”

“No! We — we’ve kissed.”

“When?!”

Jordynne’s green eyes focused on the ceiling again, her fingers nervously picking at the seams of the pillow, “Miami... At the conference. And again, the night we found out about Teresa. Right before he quit...”

Surprise washed over Sienna’s face, “Miami?! That was ages ago! You’re just telling me now?”

“I didn’t know what to make of it then.”

“And what do you make of it now?”

“I — I don’t know.” Jordynne let out a sigh, “But with everything going on right now with the trial, and suspension, and Landry... I have so many things going on right now, but the first thing I think about in the morning is him.”

Sienna settled into the bed a little deeper, crossing her legs and staring at her friend, “Does he know that?”

“We —,” She hesitated, “We’ve never really gotten the chance honestly.”

Sienna bit her lip, looking worried, “Does Bryce know?”

Jordynne nodded, “Mhmm.”

“And how did he take it?”

“Oh you know, like an absolute angel.” Tears welled up in her eyes, “Haven’t really decided anything — since we’re casual and uh, since Ethan and I are just — well, nothing really.”

“Wow,” Sienna repeated again.

“Yeah.”

“How good were those kisses?” A huge grin spread across her face, and she poked at her friend's side.

“Sienna!”

“What? I mean, it’s Dr. Dreamy Douche — only like half of Edenbrook staff have imagined kissing him.” She purses her lips, attempting to hide a blush, “Maybe including me.”

“Kissing him...,” Jordynne paused, thinking. “It felt right. And that probably sounds awful with hiding it, and Bryce, and it being so ‘complicated’,” She air-quoted the final word, “But it did.”

“Have you heard from him since he quit?”

She clutched the pillow to her chest a little tighter, “No.” She whispered. “I don’t know if I’m more afraid of never seeing him again or seeing him again, you know?”

“Oh, Jordy,” Sienna leaned over and grabbed onto her hand, clutching her fingers. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Coffees in hand, Bryce showed up as soon as his shift ended that night. He was greeted with shouts telling him the door was open — maneuvering into the apartment he saw the roommates spread throughout the living and dining room — picking at boxes of pizza. The familiar blonde was nowhere to be seen.

Closing the front door with his hip, Bryce walked in with his eyebrows raised, “Where’s Jordynne?” He asked.

Jackie nodded towards her closed bedroom door, before taking a large bite of pizza.

“She okay?” His eyebrows furrowed, pausing outside of the door.

He watched Sienna’s face fall before she quickly corrected it. “Yeah — yeah, she said the preliminary hearing went alright.”

Bryce studied her face for a moment, before nodding, “That’s good. I’ll— I’ll be back.” Still holding the paper cup in his hand, he used the back of his knuckles to knock quietly on her door, “Jordy? It’s me.��

He heard a soft “come in” from the other side of the door, and he slipped inside.  It wasn’t entirely dark in her room — there was a soft orange glow from the lamp on her bedside table, illuminating her figure as she laid in the bed.

Jordynne’s blonde hair was pulled up into a bun, her glasses sitting crooked on her nose as she hugged a pillow. Most of her body was covered by her white duvet, but Bryce knew she had her threadbare Oregon State sweater on.

“Hey,” He whispered, shuffling into the room and next to the bed. He placed one of the cups down on the nightstand, “I brought you a coffee.”

The corners of her pink lips tugged up, “Only you would feed my addiction at 9 o’clock at night.”

“Hey, I know how to deal with gremlin Jordynne any time of day.” He took a swig of his own hot drink, before setting it down next to hers. He carefully sat down on the bed, sitting in the space between her stomach and legs as she laid on her side. “So how was the preliminary hearing?”

“It was alright. Declan was there.” She rolled her eyes, “But this is what I needed to do. Teresa would want this.”

Bryce nodded along with her, before giving her a sad smile. “So if it went well, why are you hiding away in here?”

“I’m not hiding in here.”

“There are three large pizzas outside that make me think differently. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you say no to extra cheesy, greasy pizza.” He smirked.

“I—“ Her green eyes flickered to the door, betraying her, “I’m just not in the mood for it.”

He placed his hand on her side, squeezing her waist, “Talk to me, Jordynne.”

“You don’t want to hear it.” The pillowcase rustled as she shook her head.

“If it’s making you upset, I do.” He squeezed her again, Maybe I can fix it.”

“You can’t fix this, Bryce.”

He shrugged, “Try me.”

“It’s Ethan, ok?” She said quietly.

“Okay.” He chewed his lip, thinking for a moment, “You know, you don’t have to keep hiding this from me.”

“It’s just not fair to you. I don’t—“

But he caught her off, “Jordynne, I know exactly what I signed up for.”

She let out an exasperated sigh, “But I’ve made everything messy. And confusing. This isn’t what you wanted, I’m sure.”

“All I want is for you to not feel like this.” He moved his head until they were both looking at each other. His dark eyes studied her green ones, “So if that means Ethan... or me. Regardless of what happens, with the trial or with him I’m going to be here. Probably with coffee. Until you tell me not to be.” He slipped his hand into hers, squeezing it gently.

They stayed like that for a moment, before Jordynne sat up a little. Her face came towards his, and Bryce felt his breath hitch for a moment. Her pink lips grazed his cheek with a small kiss. “Thank you,” She whispered, a sad smile spreading across her face before she laid back down.

Bryce swallowed hard — burying the feelings that had flared up in him as she had neared his face. He had thought — well, it didn’t matter.  

He left a couple hours later — after finally coaxing Jordynne out of her room with the coffee and pizza and friends. He had sat across the table from her — unable to tear his eyes away.

Now, he was strolling down a sidewalk in downtown Boston. Opting to walk home instead of taking the subway — the crisp night air was turning his cheeks red. But he had needed the time to think and unwind. It was late now and everything felt heavy — his steps, the long, slow blinks of his eyes, among other things.

All at once the inky black sky opened to let out a shower of rain. It came down slowly at first, before turning into the large droplets that splatted against the sidewalk and Bryce’s face. Scrambling at first Bryce started to pull up the hood of his jacket, before laughing at himself. He was already drenched, soaked from the cool rain.

As he rounded the familiar corner near the hospital, Bryce’s eyes squinted at the familiar neon glow of a pub near his apartment. He could hear the thudding music from inside the building, muffled through the windows but getting slightly louder as patrons went in and out. He had never been inside before — usually opting for the familiar bar near the hospital instead.

As he got closer to the establishment, Bryce’s footsteps started to falter a little in the rain — noticing a figure stumble out of the bar. Just like him, they got immediately drenched by the rain — though the man had no coat like Bryce. He watched as he tipped his head back, letting the cold rain hit him in the face before barking out a hard laugh. Then the man looked to the side, finally noticed he was being watched.

Bryce studied his dark features before recognition washed over him.

It was Ramsey.

Ethan must have realized who he was too, cause in that moment he turned on his heel and began striding away in the opposite direction.

Anger boiled in Bryce as his steps moved faster to match with his — attempting to catch up to him. Jordynne has been constantly worrying, waiting to hear from him — and now he was in the city and still hadn’t reached out to her?

“Hey!” Bryce called putting after him, almost in a jog at this point. “Hey!”

“What do you want, Lahela?” Ethan slurred, finally twisting around to face him.

“What I need,” Bryce took him by the shoulders and pulled him under a nearby awning away from the rain. His breath was a little ragged, and he took a moment to take a few deep breaths, “What I need is for you to figure out what the fuck you want.”

“Excuse me?” Ethan was looking anywhere but at Bryce. He reeked of booze — the scent lingering on him even though his sweater was soaked. And he looked like, well, shit. The surgical intern had never seen the ex-Attending look so disheveled.

“This.” Bryce jabbed a finger into his chest, “You. Whatever this is — it’s killing her.”

He studied his face when he said that — noticing the guilt that washed over Ethan’s face. He knew who he is was talking about.

“What you’re doing is killing, Jordynne. I’ve never seen her like this. And it’s because of you.” Shoving his hands back into his jacket pocket, Bryce backed away from him a little. “So decide man, do you want her? Or not? Because she does. She wants you.”

The pair were silent for a moment, tension still slowly pulling between them.

Finally, Ethan spoke again. “You just admit to losing Lahela? Your girl wants me over you?”

Bryce’s nostril flared for a moment, but he pushed the anger back down. “I could give a shit about losing to you. All I care about is her being happy. And for some god damn reason, you do that for her.

I could care less about being her second choice. I could be her hundredth choice, and I would still be ecstatic. Because everyday with her is like winning the god damn lottery. And if you don’t fucking realize that, then you need to let her go. Because it’s killing her. And I can’t watch it anymore.”  

Ethan’s steely eyes were wide for a moment, and his Adam’s Apple dropped as he took a hard swallow. “How long have you been preparing that?”

“Since the moment I found out how she felt about you.” Bryce let out a long breath through his nose, “In my head, there was a pretty good right hook to your face too. But I figure I shouldn’t do that.”

“Thanks.” Ethan breathed out. Bryce watched him stumble a little towards the curb, before lowering himself onto it and sitting down. Ethan put his face into his hands.

Letting out a sigh, he sat down next to him — feeling his jeans get soaked from the water running off the sidewalk. “Why are you being like this?”

“Well, I would approximate that I’m at 0.15% Blood Alcohol Content right now. That probably has something to do with it.”

“That’s not what I—,” Bryce chewed on the inside of his cheek, “Then why are you drinking like this? To forget?”

“Maybe to remember,” Ethan said quietly.

The pair watched in silence as a car drove by on the other side of the road — hitting a puddle and sensing a large spray of water over the asphalt.

“I’m not what they think I am.”

Bryce’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“Jordynne. Naveen. Harper. All of them. I’m not what they think I am.” Ethan waved his arm at himself, sitting on the curb, “This is the real Ethan Ramsey.”

“Jordynne doesn’t seem to think so.” He gulped.

“Well, she’s wrong.” Ramsey croaked.

“Maybe you should let her decide that.” Bryce put his hands on his knees and pushed himself off of the curb. “And stop ghosting her. Talk to her.”

“I—“

“No. This,” Bryce pointed to Ethan drunkenly sitting on the curb, “Is not helping anyone.”

Finally, he offered his hand out to Ethan. He hesitated, but then grabbed onto the surgical intern's tan hand and allowed him to help him up. “I still don’t like you though.”

“I know.”

“And you don’t like me.”

“Nope.”

“But I — we,” Bryce corrected himself, “We like Jordynne. So.”

“Yeah.”

Bryce didn’t say anything else. He noticed a cab turning the corner near them, and he flagged them down with a wave. “You too drunk to remember where you live?”

“Hyde Park?” Ethan asked through the open window of the cab. He got a nod from the driver, and he pulled the door open. Ethan paused with the door open, “I’d offer to share the cab, but I feel like if you spend any more time with me I risk getting that right hook to the face?”

“Yup,” Bryce said coolly.

Ethan barked out a laugh, before giving Bryce a final nod and slipped into the cab.

He watched the yellow cab pull away, and he finally realized how long he had been standing (and sitting) in the rain for. Pulling out his phone, he sighed when he noticed the time and pocketed it again.

What had he gotten himself into?

Part Eighteen

[sanguinarius-archive]

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

[missguomeiyun]

Blogmas wrap-up!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

At the beginning of blogmas 25 days ago, I stated that on D-day, I would share my top3 experiences with you guys, so here we are~ 

[in no particular order; just my top3 picks]

1. Iced honey Americano @ Cafe TASTE. https://missguomeiyun.tumblr.com/post/189838475461/in-korea-23-cafe-taste

Reason: really liked the chill atmosphere here, from their relaxing playlist to the modern interior to the special gesture of handing out a complimentary treat with every drink order. The drink was also eye-widening & memorable; the pairing of the honey/syrup went so well with the strong Americano.

2. Affogato @ Coffee HanYakBang. https://missguomeiyun.tumblr.com/post/189474957336/in-korea-4-coffee-hanyakbang

Reason: the entire visit was super interesting bcos the cafe resembled a 1930s movie set of some sort! Very vintage-themed, loved the traditional medicine shop-styled decor, & I highly appreciate the owner’s take on coffee & how he views it (like herbal medicine, coffee has a healing effect). The affogato was also yummy!

3. Iced (minus) Americano @ Coffee Finder. https://missguomeiyun.tumblr.com/post/189794740776/in-korea-21-coffee-finder

Reason: I am a huge fan of hidden gems! This house-turned cafe had a cute interior, where they knocked down the 1st floor ceiling (aka 2nd floor ground), thus creating a big hole in the middle of the cafe that spans the 2 levels. Very unique architectural style, where I felt I was like hanging out at home. Not to mention, good coffee!

Honorable mentions for various ‘categories’.

Best “new” coffee that I’ve never had before (2-way TIE!): injeolmi latte from Holly’s Coffee (blogmas #1 https://missguomeiyun.tumblr.com/post/189416814691/in-korea-1-hollys-coffee) & white peach latte from Hold Me Cafe in Jeonju (blogmas #8 https://missguomeiyun.tumblr.com/post/189554807956/in-korea-8-hold-me-cafe)

Best interior design: Dirty Trunk in Paju City (blogmas #7 https://missguomeiyun.tumblr.com/post/189537551521/in-korea-7-dirty-trunk)

A safe-choice suitable for all travelers (solo traveler, friends group, family with young children, love birds): The Yellow Cafe (blogmas #19 https://missguomeiyun.tumblr.com/post/189764212591/in-korea-19-yellow-cafe) This decision was actually not that hard to arrive at bcos 1. it’s a themed-cafe where the main character/”logo” is the Korea-famous banana milk. 2. it’s spacious with a merch section with things to look at, in addition to adequate seating space (plenty of room for strollers or wheelchairs). 3. Interesting menu with classic cafe drinks that are at ‘appropriate’ pricing.

The cafe that I wasn’t exactly disappointed with but .. . fell a bit short compared to everyone else: hot Americano @ Coffee Faktory (blogmas #3 https://missguomeiyun.tumblr.com/post/189455212501/in-korea-3-coffee-faktory). The Americano I had here didn’t suit my personal preference. I love a nice, bold, strong, & long-lasting Americano; however, the one here was very mild.

* * * * * *

In general, I had a lovely time in Korea, exploring diff types of cafes. It was a valuable & memorable learning experience as I got to witness & see their cafes & gain knowledge about their coffee culture. Several things that I found interesting as I became more familiar with the coffee scene (lol! I am sure I didn’t even scratch the surface, but these are just some things I realized/discovered).

- where is the washroom? Rent is VERY expensive in Korea, & you do not want to waste useable cafe space for either coffee-gear or customer seating. Many cafes do not have their own private washroom, but rather a communal washroom that’s shared with other businesses on the same floor or building complex. It’s like semi-private. The washroom could be on another floor in the same building, or across a courtyard, depending on where you are. .. which leads me to my next observation .. .

- leaving belongings behind?! Growing up in Edmonton, I learnt to never leave your stuff behind in a public setting. Edm isn’t that bad, but the idea of leaving stuff behind makes me nervous. Like how many of you have packed up your stuff in the library when you were in university to go grab a quick bite or coffee somewhere (when you’re alone)? In Korea, ppl just leave! They come back eventually, of course, but I have constantly seen my fellow cafe customers leave behind their wallet, phone, laptops/tablets, etc while they go to the washroom or out for a cigarette (both male & females). They’re so trusting!

- very technology-friendly. Wifi is like.. . everywhere. So are plug-ins. I find it really annoying here, where you gotta search & be in that ONE spot bcos there’s only THE one plug-in in the entire cafe. But in Korea, plug-ins are everywhere, & it’s great! Wifi is also public & free :D

- hate to leave things on a sad note, but. .. gotta do it! Are most cafes handicap-friendly? The answer is no. Now, I’m only talking about what I’ve personally seen & making a general statement from my observations. 1st, consider the general landscape of Korea: over 70% mountain, & secondly, “space” is expensive. For the types of cafes that I have gone to: less than half are handicap-friendly. It’s unfortunate but it’s true; steps at the entrance, no seating on main floor or inadequate space on the main floor without an elevator to get to another floor (if it exists), & close proximity of just.. . things! So like .. Coffee HanYakBang is nearly impossible; upper level of Dirty Trunk is no-no (no elevator; just that giant staircase); Coffee Lab (my ultimate go-to) has a washroom in the cafe but completely not handicap-friendly. So.. . *shrugs* that’s just how it is. A LOT of cafes but not everyone is able to enjoy them the same way, if at all.

- Why the coffee scene is so vibrant & ‘big’ in Korea? I get a sense that it’s just .. . a part of Koreans. It’s a lifestyle; cafes or coffee just seem like it’s the best & only option. There are so many cafes (with a high turn-over rate too!) but they’re never empty! Need a quick caffeine intake to keep you going? Coffee. Looking for a place to chill with a buddy? Cafe. Need some time to catch up on your own stuff (studying? reading newspaper?)? Cafe. The sole purpose of the experience - of being in a diff setting for an enjoyable cup of coffee (cafe A is very diff than cafe B, which is diff than cafe C, etc). For me, personally, I like to explore but I also like to keep it cool with favourites, so I belong to this last group.

What do you think? Of my blogmas? Of coffee in your ‘hood? Do you even drink coffee? Why are ‘cafes’ an appealing place / not an appealing place? Does the smell of coffee bother you or is it like the best scent ever? Which was your fav post in this blogmas 2019 series?