#alright done! god what a journey

[devotedlystrangewizard]

totk really is one of those games that make me go "ok thanks for the characters, setting, and general plot, but ill take it from here <3" because the entire historical timeline had so much potential for interesting and nuanced story telling but they just went with the old zelda story formula and YES thats how theyve always done it but botw was such a reset in terms of gameplay that they couldve overhauled how they handle story in totk. but they didnt

[kashverse]

𝒯he 呪術廻戦 men taking your pug for a walk

⪩⪨ ✶ implied f!reader but can be read otherwise featuring ♡ modern au! jjk boys (gojo, nanami, toji, geto, sukuna, choso) and obviously, bitsy the pug. ✿ ⪩⪨ written in memory of my pug zoey <3

walking the dog. truly, an activity built on bonding, friendship, and your boyfriend turning to god for help when you bid him and your furry companion goodbye as they embark on this supposedly peaceful journey together.

but first, let me introduce you to bitsy. bitsy, the beautiful… pug. yes, bitsy the beautiful pug, because that is the only title the fat—i mean, chubby—pug will acknowledge. call her anything else, and she will stare at you with the cold, unblinking judgment of a creature who has never once been told “no” in her entire life.

she is round. she is spoiled. she is roughly 80% attitude and 20% actual dog. her tiny, smooshed face perpetually holds the expression of someone who has seen the decline of civilization and is unimpressed. and she is the queen of this household. you are merely her humble servant, and your boyfriend? he is about to learn that walking bitsy is not just a casual stroll—it is a battle of wills. because you see, bitsy does not simply go on walks. she allows herself to be escorted. and if she does not feel like walking? well, that is a personal problem for whoever is holding the leash.

gojo satoru has tamed curses, defied death, and bent reality to his will. naturally, he assumes walking a pug will be easier than all of that. "alright, bitsy," he says, crouching in front of her, his usual cocky grin in place. "let’s make a deal—you don’t make this difficult, and i’ll let you have a treat after. sounds fair, yeah?"

bitsy, the beautiful pug, does not respond. she simply blinks at him.

"see? already a great understanding between us. i like you, kid." he ruffles her tiny head before standing up, leash in hand. "now let’s—"

bitsy sits down.

gojo blinks. "okay. funny joke. but we gotta go."

he tugs the leash slightly. bitsy remains seated, her chunky body glued to the pavement as if she has just become one with the earth itself. "go on, walk," gojo insists, pointing dramatically in the direction of the park. bitsy, ever defiant, does not so much as twitch. a normal person might have taken this as a sign to reevaluate their approach. gojo satoru? he kneels back down, getting eye-to-eye with her, his tone suddenly serious. 

"listen here, you little meatball. i’m the strongest." he taps his chest for emphasis. "i bend the laws of physics for fun. you are a 20-pound pug with breathing problems. let’s think about this logically—"

bitsy yawns. 

gojo gasps. "oh, hell no. did you just disrespect me?"

passersby slow their pace, giving wide-eyed glances at the grown man locked in a silent battle of wills with a chubby pug.

"you walk, i give you a whole bag of treats," he tries bargaining.

bitsy blinks.

"go on a short walk, and i’ll let you ride in my jacket like a little emperor."

bitsy snorts.

"go on a three-step walk, and I’ll buy you a gold-plated collar. custom engraving. real diamonds."

bitsy lifts a paw. for a split second, gojo thinks he's won—until she uses said paw to scratch her ear. 

"oh my god." gojo clutches his head. "is this how nanami feels when i ignore him?" you watch from the porch, arms crossed, while gojo grovels at the feet of a pug. this is, quite possibly, the best thing you’ve ever seen.

nanami is a man of principle. so when you ask him to take bitsy for a walk, he treats it like an obligation—not a chore, not an errand, but a task that must be done correctly. he does research beforehand. what’s the ideal walking speed for a pug? how much exercise should she get? what environmental hazards should be avoided? when he finally takes the leash, he kneels slightly, adjusting her collar to make sure it isn’t too tight.

"comfortable?" he asks.

bitsy, for the first time in her life, looks mildly impressed. then, the walk begins.

nanami maintains a steady, measured pace, keeping an eye on the pavement for anything sharp or dangerous. when he notices bitsy lagging slightly, he adjusts his speed to accommodate her tiny legs.

when they pass by a particularly sunny patch of sidewalk, he lifts bitsy momentarily to keep her paws from getting too hot. by the time they return, bitsy looks serene. satisfied. pampered. "how’d it go?" you ask.

nanami takes off his watch and wipes his hands as if he’s just performed surgery. "adequate. though i noticed some dehydration near the twenty-minute mark. i gave her some water, but I’d recommend bringing a collapsible bowl next time." you look at bitsy, who is now reclining dramatically on the couch, clearly expecting you to continue this level of service.

"you—" you point at her, "—are getting spoiled."

nanami adjusts his tie. "as you should be, if you’re cared for properly."

you glare. bitsy smirks. you have lost.

toji fushiguro is not the kind of man you expect to see walking a pug. his whole vibe—scarred, broad-shouldered, perpetually dressed like he just walked out of a street fight—does not scream "pug owner." so when you hand him the leash, he stares down at bitsy like she’s an alien. "this thing?" he gestures vaguely. "this is the dog?"

bitsy snorts.

toji sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "fine. let’s get this over with."

ten minutes into the walk, something strange happens. every male dog in the area starts losing their minds.

a german shepherd whimpers as they pass. a golden retriever pauses mid-fetch, dropping his tennis ball in shock. one particularly dramatic french bulldog flops onto his back in submission. toji stops. looks down at bitsy, then at the chaos unfolding. "what the hell is going on?" he mutters. bitsy, ever poised, continues strutting forward like she owns the streets. and then it clicks.

bitsy is not just a pug. she is a queen. the queen. these other dogs? they recognize royalty when they see it. toji watches a doberman sit his ass down just to stare reverently at bitsy.

"holy shit," he breathes. “i’m walking the goddamn dog mafia boss.” he looks down at her, suddenly understanding that this is no ordinary pug. this is a leader. and toji fushiguro? he is merely her bodyguard. by the time they return home, he’s holding the leash differently—less like a man doing a chore, and more like a man protecting an asset. "how was it?" you ask.

toji exhales. shakes his head. "i was humbled."

bitsy hops onto the couch, regal as ever. you do not ask any further questions.

geto is a reasonable man. rational, observant, always thinking three steps ahead. so when you ask him to walk bitsy the beautiful pug, he does not scoff, nor does he complain. he does, however, stare at bitsy for an uncomfortably long time, eyes narrowing in calculated suspicion.

“are you glaring at my dog?” you ask, crossing your arms.

“just… assessing.”

“assessing what?”

“whether or not this is an elaborate ploy. i wouldn’t put it past you to bring home something so unassuming, only for it to be a true menace.”

bitsy, completely unbothered, tilts her smooshed-in face up at him. geto sighs and clips on the leash. “fine. let’s go, creature.”

but here’s the thing—bitsy is smart.

at first, geto keeps his distance, walking like a man accompanying a colleague, not a pet. but soon, he starts noticing things. bitsy does not waste time sniffing every inch of the sidewalk—she knows exactly where to do her business, aiming for the most efficient spots like she’s planned her route in advance. she leads them to the best sunbathing patch in the park, where the pavement is warm but not scorching, and settles in like an old lady on her front porch. she watches passing dogs with the practiced indifference of someone who knows she is above them.

slowly, begrudgingly, geto starts to respect her.

by the end of the walk, they return in absolute silence, an unspoken agreement hanging between them. “…so?” you ask, curious. geto unclips the leash. bitsy waddles inside with all the grace of an empress.

“she’s efficient,” he says simply, rolling his shoulders like he’s just been in a tactical meeting. “i respect it.”

the way bitsy smirks at you before plopping down tells you everything you need to know.

you have one rule when sukuna takes bitsy out. do not encourage her bad habits.

you should have known better.

“did she push another dog aside to pee on the best spot?” you demand when they return. “duh.” sukuna tosses the leash onto the couch and rolls his shoulders like he just won a championship.

“did she hiss at a cat?”

“only ‘cause it was eyein’ her funny,” he shrugs.

“did you—” your voice catches as you take in the scene. sukuna is carrying bitsy—not just carrying, but holding her above his head, like a wrestler showing off a championship belt.

bitsy looks thrilled.

“you’re holding her like a WWE trophy.”

“damn right i am.” sukuna grins, utterly unapologetic. “my girl won today.”

“won what?”

“territory. respect. the goddamn sidewalk. tell ‘em, bits.”

bitsy snorts.

you groan, dragging a hand down your face.

“whatever. you can deal with her attitude now.”

sukuna smirks, tossing bitsy onto the couch where she lands like a sack of potatoes. “nah,” he says, ruffling her wrinkly head. “she’s just like me. perfect.”

choso has never fallen in love.

until bitsy.

it starts subtly. the way he adjusts her collar so it’s extra comfortable. the way he holds the leash just right, never tugging too hard. but then… then it gets worse.

bitsy, your once independent pug, has expectations now.

she cleans herself up when choso isn’t looking, wiping away snot and drool with her little paw, making sure she looks presentable for her beloved. she waits by the door when it’s time for her walk, tail wagging not for you, but for him.

and choso is worse.

he talks to her in that soft, affectionate voice he never uses with anyone else. he calls her sweetheart. he sits on the floor to be at her level. you are not proud of it, but one night, as choso cradles bitsy on the couch like she is the most delicate being in existence, you finally snap.

“i feel like a third wheel in my own relationship.”

choso looks up, confused. “huh?”

bitsy does not look up.

your eye twitches.

“you know what? never mind.”

[marte-14]

"That time I killed a god"

The three oldest Links decide to go down to the bar of the tavern they are staying at and have a drink.

It's the first time they have done this since they met.

"I don't really drink much." Sky says:" What should I order?" He isn't an expert on alcohol:" I am going to take a beer, it's pretty light." Time responds:" I will take a glass of rum."

So they sit down at the counter and order, Sky copies Time's beer.

They are having light conversations, telling fun stories. Just a nice time.

When Wars finishes his glass when Sky and Time are at the half of theirs:" Another glass please." Time looks at him:" Don't over do it." He reminds him:" Don't worry about it, Sprite. I have a good tolerance."

As they talk, the two haven't noticed that Sky has been silent for a while.

The alcohol is hitting Sky pretty hard. He isn't even realising, his mind is already wondering about other things. Thinking about Zelda, his home, his loftwing....

Then to his last battle with Demise.

Normally it would be a bad memory, the hardest battle of his life. But right now he remembers it as the most funny and absurd thing of his life.

He giggles and, without thinking, says:" Did I ever tell you about that time I killed a god?"

Time and Wars turn confused by their friend's words, thinking that the alcohol is already messing with them:" Eh?"

"I never told you about that? Alright then-" Sky starts to talk about his journey, but it's almost nonsense.

He is telling things out of order, giving names and places without context or much of an explanation.

Wars and Time let him talk, not really getting any answer to the million questions in their head.

Finally, Sky stops talking, slowly falling asleep on the counter.

The other two Heroes help him get upstairs to his room.

"Woah." Legend says surprise, Sky and him are sharing a room:" How much did he drink?!"

Wars takes off Sky's shoes and places him on the bed:" He barely finished one beer."

..................

The next day, in the early afternoon, Time and Wars decide to confront Sky.

"Sky can we talk?" Time calls him over.

Sky had a rough morning, but after eating lunch he is feeling better:" Sure." They go to a more isolated place.

"About last night..." Wars starts:" Oh yeah... Sorry about that!" Sky is quick to apologise:" I didn't think my tolerance was so bad. I am sorry that we had to stop longer." Since they all knew Sky wasn't going to wake up early that morning, they all decided to stay another day in the tavern.

"Don't worry about that. We needed more time to take information anyway." The Captain reassures him:" You said strange stuff last night. About killing a god..."

"Oh."

They retell everything that Sky told them.

In the end the only thing that they understood is that: Sky fought someone's toes with a groosenator? Jumped off sky islands and fought a god. All of this to save Zelda.

"Oh goddess..." Sky sighs, hating his drunk self.

"You don't have to tell us anything. We just want you to know." Time reassures him, but Sky shakes his head:" Look..."

"You know that I haven't fought Ganon, I fought a god called Demise and killed him at the end of my adventure. But it wasn't something I really wanted to share."

Wars interrupts him:" And we will act as if we heard nothing, alright? At the bar there were only us, the others don't know about it."

Sky is glad.

They decided to never talk about it again and, from now on, Sky is only drinking non alcoholic drinks.

[kurooh]

★ 03. PARTY MONSTER

☆ denki takes you to your first ‘party’ at UA studios to meet his friends and your co-stars. the whole night’s a blur of new people, save for one who catches your eye from the start.

warnings. 18+ content — mdni, fem! reader, everyone is over 21, drinking alcohol, introductions, lowkey a filler chapter but there’s better things coming in the future 💔 | 3.6K words

xoxo, juno. showtime is BACK! (i said this the last time i updated which was like 3 months ago…. 🗿) happy early valentine’s day, comment & rb if you enjoyed 🩷 !

SHOWTIME MLIST.

smooth and sleek, the sporty car glides into the parking slot under denki’s ministrations. easily, almost as if he’s trying to impress you, he shifts gears and hops out of the car to quickly race around to your side. a little smile plays on his lips as he helps you out, taking your hand in his own like it’s an unskippable step in a daily routine.

above you, the sky is swathed in darkness and scattered with hundreds of stars, drowned out by the pollutive city light. denki’s car beeps as he locks it, fixing you with a giddy look. “c’mon, it’ll be alright. they’ve totally been dying to meet you!”

“precisely,” you sigh, walking along beside him. “i just . . i didn’t know i was this popular outside of shiketsu.”

“you didn’t see the views or get any proposals to film?” when he grins, lips tugging up at the corners, nervousness bubbles up in his chest. it’s impossible not to be a little starstruck, walking around so casually with someone who’s definitely out of his league. all he wants is to play it cool, maintain his composure and not get too caught off guard like he is right now—looking into your eyes long enough for you to awkwardly clear your throat. he continues when it’s time to stop at the elevator, and his voice slightly cracks. “no way, babe.”

“yeah, i was being ripped off,” your voice is light as you clarify, momentarily recalling past bitterness while he presses his fingertips into the button. “i just had a shitty agent and little access to any of my accounts.”

oh, shit. denki was messing with you, and now he’s feeling heat quickly bloom in the apples of his cheeks like he’s just done something bad. so, he says what comes to mind first, expression immediately softening as he tries to control his surprise. it’s not that surprising, though, considering how common it is to be taken advantage of in the industry—it’s only ever happened to stars outside of UA, ones he’s met on set and occasionally talked to afterwards. but for something like this to happen to you—he’s disappointed.

“god, that sounds terrible,” unconsciously, his fidgety fingers press the button a few more times. “did you report ‘em? oh my god, please tell me you reported that slimeball.”

with a ding, the elevator comes down and opens shortly after.

you suck in a short breath, a little uncomfortable. “heh, something like that . . anyway, i forgot to ask! should i grab some beer or no?”

“well, i’m glad that’s all behind you now. and nope, there’s no need,” denki steps into the elevator, pressing a dull button. the number five comes to life, illuminated by fluorescent light and power as the doors shut behind you. “you won’t need any beer when you try hanta’s cocktails.”

“they’re that good?”

“you’ll get it when you meet him, but i’ve gotta tell you now. hanta’s amazing at mixing shit up! once, he got a frat guy to pole dance for a few at a strip club he used to work at.”

an uncontrollable laugh bursts out of you. “he what? did the guy end up getting the drinks?”

recalling the memory makes a smile spread across his face, and it grows wider once he hears your hushed giggles. “unfortunately, he did, even though he could barely work the pole.”

there’s a few more laughs before a comfortable silence stretches between the two of you, allowing him a moment of respite as he savors the brief journey up with you. it was hours ago, but he’s still thinking about when he fucked you on set and feels a flutter in his stomach whenever it pops into his mind. there’s something . . you’ve got a certain charisma he hasn’t quite encountered with other actresses, and denki’s sure his friends will feel the same.

he had been the first to become totally enraptured with you, since he’d submitted a faceless ad of yours to r/pornid. since then, it’s been history—finally finding your profile set into motion an imaginative attraction that eventually leaked into everyday, casual conversations with his friends. it had led them to also subscribe to you, each of them dreaming to meet you on or outside of the UA sets. see, you’d first gotten your start on camera with a partner, your face usually obscured by his body or out of the frame altogether. it wasn’t often, but you’d revealed your face a few times, only in subscription locked videos that weren’t ever up for more than a few days. eventually, the videos of you with other men dwindled before stopping completely, save for the rare repost of an old clip. word on the industry corners had been that you stopped accepting acts with partners, instead opting to make your own content.

a few years of mystique and intrigue had obviously built you quite the fanbase, many of them prominent actors and actresses at UA studios. now, as you get off the elevator, your pulse quickens in anticipation; even as you try to reassure yourself, psyche yourself up about how much easier future films will go after a simple introduction, your efforts are almost entirely fruitless.

beside you, denki’s equally nervous, just for different reasons. 

honestly, he’s concerned about his friends, praying to any higher deity that they don’t embarrass him. they’ve all got their different personalities, and some are looser cannons than others . . oh god. casually, to hide the tremble of his hands, he cards his fingers through his blonde hair and catches your eyes.

“my friends can be a lot sometimes,” he admits earnestly, giving you a spiel that’s really meant to calm his own nerves, “but they’re cool, you’ll settle in quickly. i just hope they’re not too embarrassing, heh.”

you nod, swallowing the small lump in your throat when he starts to bang on the door. although it’s a brief wait, each second passes and leaves you feeling more hesitant then the last. the muffled sounds of music and laughter seep out from under the door, reminding you of just how new this experience will be. at shiketsu, you didn’t often go to parties or get togethers, something you’re grateful for since that scandal came to light. finally, the door swings open to reveal a tall figure and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

his hair is dark and a little spiky, hanging over his brows as though he’d decided it was good enough in the middle of combing it. warm and friendly, his eyes twinkle with something mischievous, like he’s used to having a good time and pulling others into it too. despite his relaxed demeanor, it’s clear that he’s interested to meet you, extending his tanned hand comfortably. a grin tugs at the corners of his lips, showing off his straight teeth as he starts to talk, gaze never straying too far. “hanta’s the name. it’s nice to finally meet you.”

the handshake is simple, and your firm grip only makes you all the more attractive. a minute hasn’t even passed since the door opened, and yet denki can tell you’ll fit well with his friends. although you’re nervous, you mask it like it’s nobody’s business as you step into the warm apartment. denki slips off his shoes, so you do the same without being asked.

“god, haven’t you opened a window?” denki’s nose crinkles when he shuts the door behind him, immediately taking in the mingling scents of both liquor and food.

“i can’t believe you’re complaining,” hanta huffs, heading toward the kitchen island, which is completely filled up with various pizza boxes, sushi trays, and liquor bottles. it’s not necessarily messy, just crowded with the evidence of too many people crammed into one space at once. “denks, you’re the first to make the place stink.”

“dude! all i’m saying is some air would be good!” he whines, cheeks becoming a blotchy pink as he shoves his friend. for denki’s sake and ego, you pretend to be enamored with a sealed tray of salmon futamaki. 

“nice spread, huh?” hanta pointedly ignores his friend and offers you a paper plate, tossing open the fridge to pull out a sealed bottle of water. “go ahead ‘n take what you like! there’s soy sauce and condiments on the counter behind you, then the napkins are to your right.”

slowly, you make your plate, filling it up with a few different things to try while you make conversation with everyone. not far from the kitchen, there’s a lot of arguing in the other room. whoever it is obviously doesn’t concern themselves with their volume or their word choice, something that slightly puts you on edge. 

denki tries to pull his friend to the side, but his whispering is loud enough for you to hear clearly. “i thought i told you to deal with him! like, seriously. first of all, we don’t need any more complaints from the—”

“long time no see, huh?”

a very familiar voice catches your attention and tears you away from the peeved whispers behind you. holding an empty plate and a cup of something, shoto’s leaning coolly against the edge of the island as he fixes you with a look of interest and a quirked brow. even though you’re not on the set and instead far from it, that familiar professional confidence rises in your chest. “can’t believe it’s been a whole day.”

subtle as ever, the hint of a smirk tugs at the corners of his lips as he opens the lid of the sushi tray, using his chopsticks to effortlessly pluck more than a few pieces out. “guess you’re making waves already. settling into UA easily, i hope?”

“definitely, everything’s been smooth sailing since the first day,” after a bite of food, you chuckle. “is that your favorite kind of sushi roll, shoto?”

“sorry, i need to grab something behind you,” he murmurs, fingers lightly brushing against your side as he moves past you to grab a small bottle of hot sauce. “i like sushi, but i’ve had enough. this one’s for my friend, he demanded that i come over here and get him a second plate because he’s so busy.”

in spite of the fact that someone’s audible yelling turns into aggravated shouts of his name, shoto’s expression remains serene. it’s when he begins dousing the sushi in the hot sauce that your eyebrows raise, startled by the sheer amount of spice.

“he can handle it,” shoto supplies, settling the bottle down and waving you toward him. “why don’t you come with me to meet everyone?”

“i’ll mix up some drinks while you’re at it!” hanta calls, grabbing liquor bottles by their necks while denki throws open a cabinet to look for supplies to assist his friend.

not trailing too far behind shoto, you shuffle into the living room, where it’s a little warmer than the kitchen. the air’s thick with the smell of pizza and soy sauce, mixing with the low hum of the tv. everything’s laid back, both figuratively and literally; two people sit in front of the tv, ps4 controllers in hand while another lounges on the couch with his legs sprawled out. there’s something familiar about them, but it’s nothing you can place immediately—you’ve definitely seen their faces before, and it wouldn’t come as too much of a surprise if they’ve seen you too. when he speaks above the mingling voices and video game noises, shoto introduces you with a gentle hand atop your shoulder. “everyone, she’s here, and also the reason the kitchen’s quieter now.”

in an instant, the flashing lights of the game come to a stop as one of its players hits pause. the strong, defined muscles of his back ripple beneath his shirt, drawing your attention until he turns around with a wide grin on his face. those sharp white teeth gleam in the low light, and he’s enthusiastic as ever when he introduces himself. “it’s really great to meet you! kirishima here, i hope you’re enjoying the party so far!”

“tch, whatever. no need to make it weird,” seemingly uninterested, kirishima’s video game opponent looks back at you, curiosity briefly flickering in his eyes as he quietly accepts his plate from shoto. “hey.”

with dark, green hair hanging just over his eyebrows, the person on the couch seems a little more frazzled than the others when he jumps up. he stumbles slightly, tripping over his foot before regaining his balance and extending a scarred hand. “hi, i’m midoriya! nice to meet you!”

so many new, different personalities thrust upon you all at once. it certainly bodes for an interesting night, the kind that would be much smoother with a drink or two; just as you’re offering midoriya a smile and nod with your hand in his own, denki’s right on cue, bumbling down the hallway holding a heavy tray filled with drinks. dewy condensation beads on the sides of the glass, stray droplets of water mingling with the juice from the carefully sliced orange perched on the edge. “alright, people! who’s ready to loosen up a little, huh?”

“don’t you dare spill that,” hanta warns grimly. of course, it doesn’t bother denki in the slightest, his face still lit up by an excited grin. like some kind of featherlight ballerina, he hops from one spot on the carpet to another, handing out drinks as his energy fills the room and people in it. some of them, at least—the ash blond guy who’d been playing video games with kirishima aggressively wipes hot sauce from his chin. 

“i’ve gotta get going soon.”

“c’mon, kacchan,” orange liquid sloshes over the rim of the glass when denki hands it to him, whining either to convince him to stay or to piss him off. “why do you have to go so soooon?”

“shut up,” he snaps immediately, scowling when some of the drink splashes onto his pants. “i have a goddamn schedule, and you already know that.”

“let’s not get too worked up,” midoriya’s lighter voice cuts through the bickering and ultimately makes things worse. “here’s a napkin for the—”

“shut it! i never asked you to get started too!”

you watch as the scene unfolds, nodding a thanks when denki hands you a drink. beside you, shoto tips his head down and whispers into your ear, “they’re always like this.”

“even when they’re working?” it sounds horrific to work with arguing co stars, especially if they’re not acting. “does he act like that on set?”

finally, you learn his name. “bakugo’s always been like that, on and off of it.”

denki claps his hands enthusiastically, ignoring bakugo’s grunt of fuck you doing that for? and successfully draws everyone’s attention. “now that we’re on the road to getting drunk, it’s time to make things interesting.”

“don’t you dare suggest seven minutes in heaven,” hanta pins his friend down with a glare and a disdainful shake of his head. “just don’t.”

“and let’s please forget about never have i ever.” midoriya takes a sip of his drink while bakugo grunts in assent, still dabbing at the orange stain on his pants. 

“alright, fiiiine!” denki relents easily, holding up his hands in mock surrender before wickedly rubbing them together as a lightbulb turns on in his head. the small gold hoops in his ears catch the low, comfortable light, swaying subtly with every exaggerated motion. “i raise truth or dare instead.”

“aren’t we adults?” shoto sips his drink as though he didn’t say anything at all, while the others collectively nod in agreement. 

“i swear, if you make me kiss someone—” bakugo’s ready to jump up and strangle his friend, infuriated by the mere thought of the imaginary scenario. 

“there won’t be any kissing! c’mon, kaminari, tell him!” strong arms pull him back even though he thrashes against kirishima’s chest, nearly clawing out of his grip until hanta steps in to help too. 

childish as ever, denki continues on with his unbothered smile stretching from ear to ear as his eyes glint with obvious mischief. “we’ll give everyone a turn before we move on. there may not be any kissing, kacchan, but it’ll be exciting nonetheless. hanta, it’s time to whip up some more drinks, man!”

☆ ☆

“whoa, don’t reach for that,” the words are laced with concern as he gently pulls the liquor bottle from your grasp and sets it down. quickly, his dutiful hands fetch a cup from the shelf and fill it with cool tap water. “here, drink this instead.”

“i’m f-fine,” it doesn’t even sound like you talking, not when you’re wobbling on your feet and grabbing onto his wrist to steady yourself. careful, as if he’s afraid to let you go for fear of you somehow losing your balance and falling, he helps you lean against the counter. “it’s, um, kinda hot in here.”

“that’s why i’m handing you the water,” kirishima presses, his own cheeks flushed a rosy pink from all the alcohol he’d drank during the game. “take one sip and i’ll stop bothering you about it, okay?”

the game.

right, that’s what led to the decline of your inhibitions. almost everyone in the circle was throwing back as many drinks as you were, some of them getting too wasted to do much more than sit or pass out. a giggle slips out from your mouth before you can realize it or care enough to stop what starts to happen next. lightly, your manicured nails rake over the skin of his wrists, feeling him up and making him laugh as he slowly pulls away.

“do you even know how drunk you are?”

“you’re as drunk as i am,” you whine, eyes drawn to the visible crest of his flexing muscles beneath his t shirt. that initial pull you’d felt a few hours ago when you met him is stronger now, and much clearer than before, something the alcohol likely has an effect on. he’d been magnetic from the start, flashing you a winning smile and comfortably talking with you throughout the time you’d played the game.

he hiccups, eyes widening at the beginning of an entire fit. 

“see? just look at you.”

“hand me that cup of water.” once he gets ahold of the cup, he immediately guzzles it down as if he’s been dehydrated for days. “oh, god.”

a laugh tumbles out of you, the kind that he wouldn’t normally appreciate, but in this drunken, defenseless state, he doesn’t quite mind it. “if we kept drinking, maybe the hiccups would stop. didn’t think of that, huh?”

“i’m not blacking out in their apartment,” kirishima grins, pushing his fingers through his vermilion hair. the spikes fall, softening under his light touch. “plus, i don’t think you’d want to risk a nasty hangover tomorrow.”

more slippery than it’d be if you were sober, the floor seems to give out beneath you—or maybe it’s your legs? either way, time slows as you inevitably plummet toward the tiles, until a pair of strong arms catches you. they hoist you up onto your feet once again. when your eyes refocus to take in your surroundings, an intangible heat permeates the air. you’re close, close enough that you can make out a light dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose and dark flecks of crimson in his irises. startled by the proximity, kirishima’s face steadily flushes a darker color, but the thought of pulling away does not cross his mind.

his gaze flickers to your lips, and the mid-laugh expression on his face starts to melt away. it’s a subtle sign, but his intentions are nothing less than clear—he doesn’t lean in until you give a slight nod, an invitation that he’s more than eager to accept. it’s a gentle brush of skin against skin, one that is infused with the essence of hesitation and innocence. 

but then, the growing heat of the moment takes over and kickstarts the kiss into an unrestrained rush of alcohol and physicality, which deepens between clashes of teeth and heady gasps for breath. it’s too much and all at once, in the best kind of way—your brain shortcircuits as your body surrenders to the sensations of it all, and everything outside of this bubble you’ve created is muffled, irrelevant. the pleasant scent of cedar cologne twists and twirls in the air, filling your nose each time you inhale. polite hands grapple at the small of your back as kirishima pulls you flush against him, reveling in the softness of your body as his mind races to memorize the blurry details. 

here, now? kissing in the kitchen doesn’t seem like the wisest idea or even the soberest. although you want to think about what you’re doing and why, kirishima’s teeth lightly graze your lower lip and turn each thought back into the air they came from.

a loud bang from the living room shatters the moment, ending the kiss as abruptly as it began. slowly, you back away, still tasting the alcohol on his tongue and feeling the remnants of his touch. dazed, you gather your bearings as you wipe away the glossy string of saliva that connects your lips to his. “that was . . interesting.”

“interesting’s one way to put it,” he clears his throat, voice a little rougher than usual. “guess we got carried away, huh?”

you laugh lightly, feeling the alcohol buzzing its way through your veins. “you say that like it’s a bad thing.”

a sheepish chuckle escapes kirishima as he rubs at the back of his neck, focusing on ignoring the sweltering heat pooling in his stomach. “well, for starters, i may not remember this at all tomorrow.”

“for now, let’s just leave it at this,” you suggest with a cheeky grin, making him laugh. “we’ll pick it up on set or outside of it.”

“sounds like a—”

“oh my god, you two!” hanta’s raised voice cuts through the air as he races into the kitchen with an unlit cigarette between his lips and a face that plainly says he has news to share. “we got todoroki to do a fucking handstand! c’mon, you have to come see!”

[rc-writes]

𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬

𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙨 | 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢

pairings: spencer reid x bau!reader

warnings: reader has a headache due to accidentally missing lunch

a/n: one more little blurb i've written due to my criminal minds rewatch journey! as of now i unfortunately have no other little blurbs written so i don't want you guys to think this is me suddenly being active a lot again. like i said in my penelope blurb i make no promises of me posting regularly again, but i definitely want/hope to write more! anyways, this blurb is completely inspired by me forgetting food exists for half a day a few weeks ago and getting a massive headache due to it :/ advice of the day kids, eating is important! lol

You and JJ had been on reading files duty for the day which meant being held up in the tiny room the local police station had set up for the team. Usually, it was Garcia who was in charge of digging through the files for potential suspects, but the station was severely behind on digitizing their files so manual reading was what had to be done.

As the day went on you began to have the world's most annoying headache. It wasn't too debilitating that you couldn't push through it to get through the last few files however, so you continued your reading. That was until you also began to feel a wave of exhaustion wash over you suddenly.

The most you had done all day was walk from one side of the table to the evidence board across the small room, so you weren't sure why you were suddenly on the verge of nodding off. If you were out conducting interviews or going over the crime scenes like you usually did, then maybe that would explain some tiredness, but that wasn't the case today.

"Hey, we're back!" Spencer's sudden voice filling the room made you jump out of your thoughts.

"Hi." You replied back with a soft smile, trying to mask the tiredness. "We managed to narrow the suspect pool to five people."

"Garcia is already on searching for anything that might not be in any of these files." JJ added from her spot at the table.

"Hard to believe anything is not in all these files." You joked, laughing. Mid-laugh your voice seemed to falter, the headache deciding to grow stronger at the sudden higher noise level of the room. You tried to mask your voice fading by slowly turning to face the board again, trying your best to massage your forehead a little.

"Hey are you alright?" Spencer asked as he walked closer to you.

"Yeah, yeah." You lied, turning to face him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just that I noticed your movements seem to be a bit sluggish. Not- not to say that's a problem considering you've been cooped up in here all day. But also, I noticed you're rubbing circles into your forehead which might be a sign of a headache. Which is actually a good thing to do when you have one because researchers say-" Spencer trailed off when he noticed you bringing your hand up again to your forehead. "Sorry, that's not the point. Are you okay?"

"I've been a little tired and have a minor headache. Nothing too bad, don't worry." You admitted, no point in trying to lie anymore. "I'm not sure why though. It's not like I've done much moving around all day, just flipping through piles of paper." You gestured to the table. It was then that you noticed JJ had left you two to be alone. "But I suppose just sitting here all day could be exactly the reason." 

"It is proven that little movement can have just as much effect as too much movement on the body." Spencer agreed. "To add to that, whatever you ate for lunch today could also have an effect as well."

Spencer then began to ramble about the importance of what kind of food you need to eat for which meal, but you didn't hear much as your own thoughts were racing.

A look of slight horror crossed your face. "Oh god, I didn't even realize I skipped lunch completely."

"What?"

"Yeah, I got so caught up in reading over the suspect files that I didn't want to leave when everyone else went to go get something from the break room. Thought I'd wait until I got done reading this one file, but I must have gotten too distracted and completely forgot to ever actually get up."

"Honey, no wonder you're tired and have a headache then." He reached for your hands. "You haven't eaten since we had breakfast together at the hotel." 

You held onto his hands back. "Yeah, and it wasn't exactly a big breakfast either." You both laughed. "I guess a big dinner is in my future then."

Spencer nodded, smiling. His eyes seemed to light up suddenly, you assumed some sort of idea popped into his head. He then immediately headed to the door.

"Where are you going?"

Spencer turned, walking backwards out the room. "To find food! Anything! You need to eat pronto." He bumped into the doorframe before walking completely out the room. From your small frame of vision out the doorway you saw he also nearly bumped into one of the local police officers as he was too focused to notice other people. 

You giggled to yourself at his new sudden mission to find you food. He really would do anything at the drop of a hat for you and you had no idea what you ever did to deserve it. But then you thought about how you'd do the exact same for him and he's said before he didn't deserve someone like you. It truly was a never-ending cycle of caring between you two. 

[sweetheartbitesb4ck]

part one || part two || part three || this is part four || part five

The weeks following your first 'date' with Simon were full of going on little walks together, but most of all? The pings, to say the least. He would text you so often it came as a shock to you he even had a job. You found it amusing, sure, maybe even annoying, but you hadn't anticipated the sheer silence when he was 'away with work', as he put it.

You had guessed that meant deployed or something of the sorts... and it worried you, yeah, but your feelings for him were still new and you didn't want to get hurt if anything was to happen.

You'd been excited when he'd promised to write to you a few days before he left, but as the days flew by with nothing more than some bills, bank statements and late birthday cards dropping through the letter box it occurred to you that Simon Riley had been too blown away when he first saw you in your house to remember the road name, and far to drunk when he first spoke to you to remember the number on your front door.

So Simon sat there when he wasn't fighting or in briefings and had downtime (which was rare) writing letters he knew he couldn't send away, partly because it was a risk to send stuff away and partly because he would just blank on your god damn address every single time.

He didn't even have his phone because of something to do with trackers and intel and it was all a bit of a fuzz of unconfirmed information that Simon had explained to on a walk a few days before his departure.

This is what worried you. You obviously knew the dangers, and you two weren't even 'official' yet, but you would have liked to be updated. You couldn't help but feel a bit sick when your mind travelled to the horrors his job could boast.

Prior to his deployment, you and Simon had got to know each other a little better, which only made your nerves worse now you had more of a bond, plus you had gotten to see the less flustered version of him. You'd mostly talked over the phone but had also gone on a few walks together. It felt weird; missing someone you'd so quickly fallen for. You could only hope as the days blurred into weeks then into months.

Then, two months later, Simon was back. He'd been resting and getting medical support for a day or two before he journeyed home, and his first thought? It was to retrace his steps down that one road to that house with the open window that had changed everything. He could have slept, unpacked, done anything, but all he wanted to do was to see you.

You groan as you hear a knock against the door... you'd just about drifted off after hours and hours of tossing and turning, your head reluctant to rest. Trudging downstairs, you pull on a hoodie over your pyjamas. "Who the fuck..?" You murmur, clicking on the hallway light and unbolting the door, ready to dive back into bed.

"What?" You grumble as you swing the door just a crack open, your eyes widening and breath hitching at seeing that tall frame and skull mask. You slam it shut, fumbling to unlatch the door and burst it open, flying into the bulky man's arms and screaming.

Simon grins under the balaclava, stumbling backwards slightly as you bounce onto him. "You alright?" He asks, his voice so nonchalant even as you wrap your arms around him. Probably still trying to seem cool for you.

You pull back, face still covered in shock. "Fucking alright? That's all you have to say?" You cry, voice a few pitches higher than usual. "Fuck, Simon... you said you would write!" You mumble, leaning back in to hug him. Part of you wanted to say there forever, holding him there and squeezing him as hard as you could, but you knew you should probably invite him in. So that's what you do.

"Well," Ghost replies, shoving his hands into the big pockets of his tactical jacket as he steps inside, shutting the front door behind him and following you to the kitchen "I didn't know your address," He admits, smirking as you raise an eyebrow at him and snicker. "Oh yeah," You chuckle slightly, trying to refrain from smothering the poor bloke as he takes a seat at your table. "Tea?" You tilt your head and glance at the kettle.

"I hate t-" Simon bites the inside of his cheek and curses under his breath. Fuck... He thinks, realising him lying about loving the drink would probably wean him into having it regularly. "Tea's great," He nods, noting how you raise your eyebrows, expression sceptical.

His mind flicks back to Soap's so called relationship advice, the words "honesty is key" in that loud Scottish accent rattling through his mind. "Okay fine," He grunts, avoiding eye contact. "I hate tea. Can't bloody stand the stuff."

You huff with amusement, flicking the kettle off and rifling through your cabinet. "I'm out of coffee,"

You and Simon chatted for hours, sitting at the table. At first, he was jittery, but he soon relaxed, trying to stop staring at you, although this was hard as he finds you so breathtakingly perfect.

A few hours later, you tilt your head and smile at Ghost as he yawns. "You must be tired," You say softly, leaning on the counter.

Simon nods, rubbing his eyes sarcastically. "It's probably too late to walk home, aye," He says, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," You respond, scratching your neck with a mock confusion. "Lucky I have a double bed, eh?"

"You're sure?" Asks Ghost, his nervous expression from the coffee shop returning to his face. He was still terrified of scaring you away, but wanted nothing more than to collapse onto your bed and just hold you. You nod, smiling gently. "Come on." Taking your hand, Simon follows you upstairs to your cosy room, allowing himself to relax, stop being awkward. The decoration alone made him feel at home, probably because it shone with your personality.

And with that, the two of you curled up on the mattress, Ghost pulling you towards him, arms firm around you as he let the gentle rise and fall of your chest guide him to sleep.

Never in a million years would he have predicted this if he was asked about his future a few months ago, but here you were, two awkward and unsure people falling in love from nowhere.

Love. Simon was sure that's what that feeling was... the one that had seized his whole being since he first set eyes upon you.

thank you sm for reading! I hope you enjoyed part four..! if anyone wants a part five, I'll most likely do it, ( I just need to figure out what I'd write... probably something about the letters) but yea if u want that just let me know.... also, feel free to make any asks for fics u would like to see :)

sorry if my posting is irregular for a while! I'm back at uni and work after the Christmas break so very busy

[persefolli]

𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚'𝐬 𝐚 𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡

𝟏𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋!!!!!!!

𝐀/𝐧: 𝐆𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐎 𝐒𝐎 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝟏,𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬'𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭. 𝐈'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!!!

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐓𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐢 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡

You looked at Ronal with a sad look as she laughed along with her clique. They were currently laughing at your outfit, which was a little…odd to say the least. What hurt most is that Ronal had picked the outfit for you, and assured you that you looked just fine.

The two of you have been best friends for years, and the older the two of you grew the more…bitchy Ronal became. It got bad in highschool, to a point where you stopped attending for some time. After a huge fallout with her friends, Ronal came back running, and you let the feeling of nostalgia make your decision in forgiving her.

You graduated together and went on a journey of womanhood after turning 18. It wasn’t just you two though, you accumulated a very well known friendgroup in Awa’atlu, and everyone wanted to get in with the crew, but lately they’ve turned you into the punching bag of the group. 

“I’m gonna change.” You mumbled, walking off from the group and heading home, where you were gonna mope the rest of the night.

“Oof-” You grunted bumping into someone. Looking up you made eye contact with Tonowari, the future Olo’eyktan of the clan. “I’m sorry!” You nodded your head towards him and looked at him for approval. 

Tonowari was quiet, popular, but quiet. He mastered a lot of adult-like duties as a teenager, which made him a very tough warrior for his class. All the guys in your age group strived to be like him, if not, they wanted to look like him. He was tall, pretty, had nice hair, and smelled really good. Tonowari was humble. Even though he would lead the clan one day, he still opted to be treated like everyone else. 

God you were swooning again, like every other girl in the clan. 

Tonowari quirked his eyebrow and patted your shoulder. “It’s alright.” He said lowly. “Stay safe.” Tonowari jogged off to the beach, where his friends stood whooping and celebrating his arrival. 

You found yourself staring at him, looking at the way he smiled once he came in contact with his bro’s, but you snapped out of it realizing how wrong it was. 

Ronal had a big crush on Tonowari for a while, and with her popularity it was a slim chance he would reject her. Everyone shipped them together, and although Tonowari has yet to acknowledge her, Ronal relished the title of his future girlfriend and most likely, Tsahik. 

At home you changed your clothes, and began cleaning for the night, getting rid of your dinner bowls and laundry you’d done before you went out today. As the eclipse settled, you waited for the dreaded beast herself. 

“Y/n.” Ronal came knocking at the door. You huffed, folding one of your spare loincloths. You didn’t turn to face her as she approached. It was the same cycle of embarrassing you, apologizing in private, and doing the same thing the next day. 

“You should've come back.”

“I was embarrassed!” You snapped at her. 

“The top was fine, no one has perfect taste.”

You clenched the clothes and slowly turned your head to her. The audacity of this bitch! She was the one who got you the top, and told you that it flattered you compared to your normal clothing. Not wanting to explode, you nodded, turning back and doing your laundry. 

“Remember the bonfire is tomorrow, wear cute clothes.”

“What will you be wearing?” You asked.

“Something that will catch my future husband's attention.” Ronal twirled and chuckled. “Tonowari’s coming, heard from a birdie.”

“Oh.” You said. “Bumped into him today, he was going riding with the others.”

Ronal fell silent, and wasn’t in your line of sight. Suddenly you were spun around, Ronal in your face and nails dug into your shoulders. “What did he say? What did you say to him?”

“I apologized and he told me it was okay and to be safe.” You said swiftly, wincing in pain from her nails. Ronal let go and hissed at you, “Next time just walk off.”

---

The next day you spent inside, sewing decorations onto your top for the bonfire tonight. The bonfire was an annual celebration for the young adults of Awa’atlu, it was the only night you could let loose with no consequences. You and Ronal went every year, watching as guys set fire to large piles of wood and wrastle over stupid banters.

You braided pieces of your hair and pulled the braids back, curating some sort of half-up half down style. You were meeting Ronal at the bonfire, since she opted to show up after everyone else.

When you were ready you waited until the eclipse to leave your home, you merged into another group of Metkayina members who were heading to the other side of the reef as well. You looked into the sky and saw the hue of light coming from somewhere on the ground. Smoke rose from the fire and you sniffed, smiling at the smell of burnt wood spreading across the reef. 

Nights like this were really fun, it was a night you didn’t have to worry about hanging out with just Ronal and her minions. It was also a night you finally got a little attention from guys. 

You arrived at the sectioned off part of the reef with the group, eyes lighting up at the crowds of na’vi dancing and running around. People had already gotten their fix of drinks and rolled around in the sand drunkenly. “Y/n over here!” You heard a voice call you over. You looked and saw a person from you and Ronal’s friend group calling you over. 

“Hi guys!” You walked over and hugged the girl, taking the extra drink she had in her hand. 

“Ronal hasn’t come yet?” You asked. 

She shook her head. “You know how she gets. And look who's already here.” She pointed straight and you followed her finger to see Tonowari. He sat on a large stray branch, looking around at his friends that were chatting. He wore a beautiful necklace and his hair was prettily braided into rows that formed a bun at the top part of his head, the rest of his silky hair flowed beautifully down his back, going past his shoulders. Once again you were staring, but snapped out of it as cheering began. You looked over to see Ronal approaching, wearing a dramatic headdress and jewelry to complement it. 

You began clapping, inviting her over to your large group of friends who waited on her. 

“The queen has arrived.” Ronal twirled in front of you. She glared at you but slowly smiled. “You look nice.”  She commented. 

“Thanks. Wanted to try something new.”

“Better than yesterday's fit.” The na’vi who were there to witness the incident began snickering, causing you to frown. 

You shook your head and raised your empty cup. “I’m gonna go drink.” You made your exit from the crowd and found refuge near the drink table, where all sorts of intoxicated people hung out. “Fill me up.” You slid your cup over to the ‘bartender’ and watched as he filled your cup with a red substance. Nodding at him you took the full cup and began wandering around, looking at the different things people were doing. 

As you stood alone, feet planted in the sand, you felt a pair of eyes watching you. You looked around, attempting to find the source of attention but couldn't. 

“Hey.”

You jumped, looking at the tall Metkayina male next to you. “Hi.” You softly smiled. He'd probably been the source of eyes.

“Remember me? We met last year.”

You quirked an eyebrow and inspected the male one more time. It took you a few moments but you perked up. “Oh yeah! The one from the keg stand.”

“In the flesh.” He chuckled.

“How have you been? I haven't seen you around.”

He sighed, “Busy as fuck. Training to become the general.”

“This young?!”

“Yeah.” He smiled. “I gotta get up there with the rest.” You nodded in agreement. A lot of the Metkayina males were very ambitious at a young age, so hearing what he was aiming for didn't come as a surprise.

“What about you?” He leaned in closer and smiled.

You felt yourself getting nervous, “I-I was thinking about starting a clothing business.”

“Shit, really?” He said hyped up. 

“Yeah.” You pulled at the top you were wearing. “I made this.” You displayed the fancy top you were wearing

“You look good in it.” He smiled, licking his bottom lip as he did so. You turned your head to avoid showing him the large smile that was forming on your face.

“How about we ditch this stand and go dance.” He nodded towards the na’vi that were closer to the fire dancing. “Fuck it.” You exclaimed and grabbed his hand as the two of you ran through the crowd to the dancers.

The bass of the drums boomed in your chest and you began dancing. Holding onto the guy's hand, you smiled as you gracefully swayed to the music. Even though it was a lot of people and it wasn't usually your scene, you still managed to block everyone out and have fun.

You allowed him to dance closer to you, grabbing your hips and pulling you in.

“You got better rhythm than me.” He complimented.

“I've been told.” You said cockily. The liquor began to flow through your system the longer the music went on, making your body grow looser.

“Hey Y/n.” 

You spin around to see Ronal getting a little groovy to the music. Internally you groaned but moved over to pull Ronal in to join. 

“Wassup Ronal.” You greeted.

“Nothing. Just wanted to be close to the action.” She began scooting back a little as the guy grabbed your hand and twirled you again.

“Where ya goin?” You asked.

In a flash, everything shifted. You were spun but pushed towards the empty space, and suddenly you were hit with a big wave of juice. The crowd fell silent and you stood in shock, opening your eyes to see you had been drenched in the jungle juice they created.

You looked at Ronal, betrayed. Everyone began laughing, even the guy you danced with.

“That was too good.” He said looking over at Ronal.

She had set you up.

 Every year there was a prank, usually it would be something silly like pushing someone into the ocean or being chased and chanted on by a group of guys, but this one was harsh. Ronal knew you spent time making the outfit for tonight, and she ruined it.

Slowly, you began treading the sand to make it to the main pathway. Tears escaped your eyes as you waddled away, sticky and cold from the nasty substance that was thrown on you. Ronal had gone too far, and this was your last straw with her.

You made your way away from the crowds, and found yourself at a cove further from the village. Once you got inside you yelled, screams echoing off the cave walls. “I hate her!” You screamed.

You whimpered as you peeled your top off, throwing the ruined design down. You slowly climbed into the cove pool, which was typically warm, and began to rub along your skin to get the stickiness off.

“Y/n?” A voice echoed from afar. You quickly used your arms to cover your bare breasts and sunk into the water. Footsteps approached and you began to rage, thinking Ronal was coming after you, but your eyes widened at who was there.

Tonowari stood on the pool edge, looking at you with somber eyes. “I saw what happened.” 

The two of you stared at each other for a few moments in silence. It was awkward considering you'd never interacted before.

“I'm okay.” You responded. 

A few beats of silence passed before he took a seat, feet dangling inside of the pool.

“Why do you let her treat you like that?

“What?”

“She treats you like shit!” He half-yelled. “You're supposed to be best friends yet she sets you up to be pranked and embarrassed.”

You took a deep breath and came to the edge of the pool, resting your arms on the rock and leaning your head above your folded arms.

“It's harder than you think.” You responded. 

“Even so, you don't deserve that. Have you ever thought of getting her back?”  Tonowari asked.

You snapped your head to the young man, confused as to what he was alluding to. He was always so quiet, smart and level headed, this language wasn't like him at all.

“Just one shot to make her sorry.” He continued.

“Sometimes.” You confessed. You planned out so many routes of revenge over the years, which never went through because you were too pussy to go through with it.

“She has everything that you deserve. Friends, Popularity, Dignity. She took that away from you!” He spoke harshly as if he was done wrong. His passion was attractive, but it made you question why he was so riled up.

He slipped into the water, starling you with the splash. Popping up above water he shook his hair. “Follow me.”

He began swimming down the cove, going deeper and deeper into the elongated cave. It grew dark, and you found yourself growing scared, but the two of you emerged, swimming out to a whole new section of the reef.

“Wow.” You said in disbelief, hopping out of the water and approaching the shore.

“Just a little spot I know about.” He said. Your arms were still crossed as you were still topless, but the residue had washed off and you now stood wet in the moonlight.

“Why did you bring me here?” You were genuinely curious as to why he exposed his secret spot to you.

“So you can take something she doesn't have.”

He approached you with a sultry tone.

You turned to him, finally catching on. 

“You know she likes y-”

“Everyone knows. That's why it's gonna hit her harder.”

You looked at him dumbfounded before dropping your arms and smashing into him. The two of you fell to the ground but he recovered by sitting up. You climbed into his lap and kissed him deeply, cupping his face as you did so.  Tonowari leaned back slightly and had one arm wrapped around your back, pulling your lower body closer to him. 

The two of you moaned softly, continuing your attack on each other's lips. Tonowari’s warm hands lingered, before rising to grip at your bare breasts. You pulled away and watched as he kneaded your mounds and pressed kisses along your chest.

“Tonowari.” You said breathlessly. It was surreal to have a man like him under you like this, to actually touch you like this.

“Shhh.” He shushed you and reached for your loincloth, unraveling the back and pulling it to the side. You pushed him away from your chest, reaching for his, but he swiftly flipped the two of you over, so that he was on top and your back touched the sand. He finally allowed you to strip him of his cloth and watch as he sprung free, standing tall and erect for you.

“You see what you do to me?” He groaned.

Slowly you began spreading your legs, and he lodged himself between them, holding the underside of your knees. The two of you shared a moan as he began running his cock between your folds, judging at your clit with every swipe

“Tonowari don't!” You shakily said. You wanted him so bad, so deep, and he was teasing you relentlessly.

“Use your words pretty girl.”

“Don't tease me Wari, I want you.” You moaned out.

He let out a scoff and pulled back, slowly pushing forward and entering your slick hole.

You almost gave yourself a concussion from how hard you slammed your head back into the sand. You dug your nails into his forearms and clenched around him. He was thick, stretching you in ways a normal Metkayina man couldn't.

You held your breath as he continued entering you, pain pulsing through your lower body. Tonowari’s hand trailed to your neck holding a tight grip on you, and using his thumb to pull your bottom lip down. “Breathe for me.”

“Hurts.” You whimpered.  

“Feel me.” Tonowari let go of your thigh and grabbed his braid. 

“Ton-”

“We can worry about it in the morning. Feel how good you make me feel.”

You knew this would be a bad idea, but you connected your braid to his anyway. As soon as tsaheylu was made, you arched off the ground, crying out in pleasure.

“Fuck!” He grunted. Fastening his pace, he let out stained grunts feeling your pain and pleasure mix into one. 

“More! More!” You coaxed him, ready to take him on. The pain was starting to subside but the need for him grew. You spread your legs wider and watched as he drilled into you with his head down, looking right where the two of you connected. 

“You feel so good around m-fuck!” He buried his head into your neck and thrusted faster, enunciating the loud slaps of skin the two of you echoed throughout the beach.

“I'm coming! Wari!!” You dramatically heaved out as you reached your first ever orgasm. 

Tonowari took a few deep breaths before pulling out, and flipping over again. His dick still stood erect, leaking with precum. Your braids were still connected, and you felt his exhaustion, but you also felt his oncoming wave of horniness.

“Make yourself feel good on me.”

You nodded and positioned yourself right above him, closing your eyes and you sunk down onto his length. The both of you let out a moan. “So big.” You stuttered out.

You moved to bounce upon him but he hissed, holding your hips in place. “Take your time with me Y/n.” He leaned back and licked his lips. “Make me work for it.” He began guiding your hips to rock along him slowly. Another wave of pleasure shot through you and you placed a hand on his chest, looking at him with misty eyes.

Tonowari whimpered and panted, driven wild by the way your hips rocked and the way your waist wormed back and forth above him. He wanted you so bad, and boy did you feel it.

You threw your head back and placed your hands on his thighs, giving a full view of his well you were taking him. “M’gonna…” He heaved, “Fill you up.”

This prompted you to lean forward and begin bouncing on him at a faster pace , moaning out his name as you felt him come close to his orgasm. “Fuck Wari!” You yelled out, feeling his orgasm come along. “Shit! Shit Shit!” He let out a long groan as he released into you, twitching inside of you and heaving.

You pulled yourself off of him and threw yourself in the sand next to him, laying on your stomach and panting heavily.

“I'm not finished with you.” 

Your eyes followed him until he disappeared behind you. Tonowari locked his fingers around your hips and pulled your ass up in the air. You waited patiently, expecting him to enter you again, but instead you felt a warm liquid followed by a warm muscle being pressed against your clit. “Oh Wari.” You purred into the sand, gripping at the grainy terrain you laid on top of. 

Tonowari sucked on the nub and released with a pop, groaning and resting his hand upon your ass.  He leaned back in and began running his tongue between your folds, poking and prodding at your fucked out entrance. You throbbed thinking about him licking up his release from your pussy, but your mind quickly blanked as he thrusted his tongue inside of you.

You moaned out loud,  not caring who walked by or who came towards this end of the reef. Tonowari thrived off your noises and began groaning as well, becoming more animated with the slick sounds he was making with his mouth. 

His tongue made contact with your clit again and began flicking at your nub, starting the buildup of tightness that resided in your belly.

“I'm gonna come! Just like that!” You coaxed.

Two of his fingers pressed inside of your hole and he continued to sloppily flick and suck at your clit, holding you steady with his other hand as you trembled.

“Wariiiii!” You screamed as that knot in your stomach snapped. You quivered under his touch. “That's right,” He began rubbing your orgasm out. “Get it out for me, Let it out.”

You clenched your jaw as he began slowing his pace on your pussy, coming to a stop as he knew you were sore by now.  He watched you slump back into the sand, humming out the last bit of energy you had left. You laid with your eyes closed, listening to the thumps of your pulse and the shuffling going on behind you.

“Let's go pretty girl.” Tonowari rolled you over and picked you up, walking you back to your pod with his hands resting on your underside.

---

The next morning you heard nothing but murmuring when you came around. A pit formed in your stomach at the possibility of them knowing what and who you did last night. But you also felt….satisfied. Today you would make it your mission to see Ronal's face, even if it meant a fist would connect to yours.

“Y/n!” You heard someone shout ahead. It was Tonowari. You looked around and pointed at yourself, and he narrowed his eyes.

Last night you remember him cleaning you up with water and a rag and kissing your forehead before he departed. It was a nice gesture, but you had no idea what that meant for the two of you.

Approaching him, he took your hand in his and began walking forward, making a few of the Metkayina members gasp. “I wanted to speak to you.”

“After last night?”

“Especially after last night.”

A pit of anxiety filled in your stomach and you began to stiffen. The two of you continued walking, until you got to a less crowded area of the reef. “I wanted to give you this.” He stopped and pulled out a necklace. You gasped at the aquamarine colored beads, one used for professing love to another. “I should've given you this a long time ago. A long time ago.”

You hesitantly grabbed the beads and looked up at him confused.

“I hope you didn't think last night was just a get back at Ronal. Or that it was a one night thing.” He stepped forward and grabbed your elbow. “I've been in love with you since highschool. I thought it was a stupid crush but…..” He sighed, starting to now stumble over his words. 

“Everyone else might see Ronal, but I see you.”

Your breath hitched. Tonowari, the bravest, handsomest, warrior, to be Olo’eyktan saw you?!

“I know last night was a horrible way of introducing you to the idea.”

“Idea of what?”

“Of being my Tsahik.”

You gasped again, knowing that it was a title that Ronal was expecting. Everyone always said she was the most qualified, so not only did you take her crush, you're taking her future.

“We've made the bond…in an idiotic way, but I wouldn't go back and change a thing.” He confessed.

You smiled softly, and placed the beaded necklace around your neck. Tonowari let out a breath of relief, happy that his love was being reciprocated. “I know that we are still so young, and you can change your mind about me whenever, but for now let me enjoy you, and love you unconditionally.”

You stood on your toes to kiss him deeply, sighing in pure ecstasy as he cupped your face and kissed back.

Just as the two of you finished, an entourage of people came walking straight for you with Ronal leading the group.

“Tonowari.” She nodded sweetly.

“Y/n.” She said blankly.

“What happened? Is there danger?” Tonowari said, a little concerned about the amount of people that stood around.

“No just….a little question. I heard something from a birdie and I hoped it wasn't true. Just wanted to check in.”

“What was said?” He asked unphased.

Ronal coyly rolled her eyes and played the shy act. “That you were planning to choose your future Tsahik soon.” She glared at you, thinking she had the upper hand.

Tonowari caught on. Ronal wanted him to claim her in front of everyone, but little did she know.

“I already did.” He smiled.

Ronal walked forward and shot you a look as she pushed herself between the two of you. “Oh Wari.”

Tonowari scoffed. “We actually made the bond last night. I didn't wanna waste any time.”

Ronal’s face dropped and she backed away, “B-bond?! But I didn't-”

Tonowari looked towards you and Ronal realized, “No.” She said in disbelief. “You're still so young- You don't even know what you want in a woman! No Olo’eyktan should choose on a whim!” She stammered trying to discredit your experience.

“We were all practically raised together. I know who and what I want.” Tonowari declared.

Ronal looked at you with an angry look. 

Normally her glare would make you cower and scramble to apologize, but this time you felt your lips curling up. Smiling at the bitch who no longer had the upper hand.

[gallapiech]

Some more art I've done for Highway of Hedonism!

[READ IT HERE]

+ once again some behind the scenes stuff 😁

The kiss sketch is pretty self explanatory lol, I dont know how to draw people kissing so I hope it came out alright at least hihi.

For the bathroom one I initially went with a completely different angle! But I felt like that didn't really convey the scene well so I settled on this one instead. :3

The straddle scene... This chapter was initially gonna have 2 drawings, one with the bear in the backseat and the one you're seeing here. We figured it would save some time since we could reuse the scene and only had to switch the characters around. But that made it kind of boring... So we settled with a more interesting perspective! A million thanks to Rory for making the initial sketch for it ♥ Although I cannot show that one, I *can* show the rough sketch of the final drawing!

I think it's kind of obvious that I winged it with the car stuff. I hope it doesn't break the immersion too much </3

Sometimes I forget exactly what outfit they're wearing and mess it up lol. Thank god for Rory for correcting me whenever I show the sketch. Here's Ian without the hoodie, ehe.

As we were planning the art for some of the chapters, we kind of wanted some to be close ups of things or things that are easier to draw to kind of lighten the workload. This being one of them, but I still like it! I loved adding little easter eggs to the little doodles that made. There are some references to friends & inside jokes. This drawing doesn't just show Ian & Mickey's journey, but ours as well :)

The sketch for the scene where Mickey grabs ian's waist was actually sketched by Rory! She has helped me sooo much with the art and I truly cannot thank her enough for it. Because I didn't create the sketch I cannot show it. However I kind of got a funny story. While I was drawing this some friends and I were watching Pitch Perfect and I was streaming it. But I had to open the sketch so I could copy it and Accidentally showed it on stream and I panicked so hard hahahaha. Soooo if some of y'all remember seeing it 👀 now u know what it was for, lol.

That's all for now :D I hope you're all as excited about the upcoming chapters as I am!!

[drabblesbyjubs]

Just Need Time

Astarion x gn! Tav Reader, Astarion is pent up but also wants to please the reader, he makes himself want to have sex with reader but reader stops him and helps him figure out what he really wants. Fluff, smut, a little bit of angst. Minors DNI

Tws// mentions of sexual trauma, Astarion’s backstory stuff, mild disassociation for a few minutes, trauma, mild spoilers for non ascended Astarion’s ending, sexual content and smut

.

I want everyone to know that I got stuck working an 8 hour shift as a cashier on my last day of work so I wrote this between customers, enjoy and here’s to my new job

Time with Astarion is sacred.

After nearly losing him multiple times throughout your journey to rid yourselves of the mind flayer parasite, you’d come to appreciate every second you spent with him. Every moment during the day, snuggling and spending time with one another, and spending the nights running through Faerûn and enjoying the adrenaline of exploration, it was all beyond precious to you both.

But especially to Astarion. For the first time in two centuries, he belonged to himself; he could go where he wanted, do what he wanted, be what he wanted. He was free.

That didn’t mean he was alright, though.

Being with you had helped. You’d shown him freedom, devotion, and everything he’d ever wished he could have had in a partner. But part of his mind was still stuck in that dark, dank crypt, the smell of mildew festering in his lungs, the fear at the sound of every footstep lurking in his heart. The nights he was let out, but not to be free, only to use his body to gain some innocent soul’s trust and bring them back for him to take out his most wretched fantasies on.

Astarion was usually the victim of these fantasies, but if Cazador truly did what he wished with Astarion, well, there would be no more Astarion to take out those fantasies on.

Those memories plagued his mind nearly every night. He often woke from the nightmares feeling utterly emotionless, numb to the world. Fear aches low in his heart, and he would roll over and scoot up to you. You took him in to your arms with no question; you already knew.

Sometimes he would jolt out of bed, too enveloped by the memories to realize it was you next to him. He would become defensive, either scared of you or insisting you leave before he came back. When he snapped back to reality, he was utterly humiliated, but you never shamed him, always made him feel like everything would be okay, and he would forget about the terrors of the night before by the time you two set out for adventure after sunset.

He wanted more than anything to be like a normal person; completely comfortable in his relationship, never a fear that things would go awry, blindly trusting and accepting of everything you did. You understood why he couldn’t be like that, and did your best to make him feel as close to normal as he ever could. And gods, did he love you for that. You were utterly hypnotizing, he would tear out his heart with a stake if you asked him; hell, he would carve the stake himself. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for you.

And even if you assured him he owed you nothing at all, not even a passing glance, he wanted to give you something to make you happy.

He often gave you wildflowers, knowing you always liked the bright colors and soft petals, or smooth, shiny rocks he found down by the creek, or little rings and necklaces he bought with his dwindling gold supply when the two of you went in to town. But he still often felt like the only thing he could do right enough to truly make others happy was sex.

It was practiced, it was routine. Use his body to make someone feel good, make a few pretty faces, and it was done. There was something safe in the familiarity of it, though the sheer gut wrenching disgust that followed after never sit right with him.

You hadn’t hesitated to agree when Astarion had asked if you two could stop having sex for a while. Your sexual activity had dwindled anyways; you’d often told him you were just tired, or wanted to make sure you had plenty of energy for the coming day. Part of him knew you could tell he didn’t really want it, but he chose to believe you just wanted a break, and it was relieving to not have to perform. It was a weight off of his shoulders.

But more recently, he’d been pent up. He found himself craving release; of course he thought of coming to you for help, but the thought of having to perform, to make you feel good and owe you that pleasure after he takes his own, it sent a writhing sensation under his skin. As much as he liked the thought of seeing your eyes filled with arousal, he didn’t want that feeling of perform. Continue. No choice. Earn your life, bring him someone.

But he wanted to make you happy. He had done this so many times before; why not once more, just to see you satisfied? You must be pent up as well after so long of dealing with his unwillingness to give you something so simple. It was the least he could do. He would achieve the release he’d began to crave, you would be happy, and he would know you would stay with him and know he cared for you.

..

Astarion rolled above you, that mischievous smirk on his face as he looked down at you. You laughed softly, rolling your eyes. “Someone’s in a playful mood tonight,” you teased, to which Astarion hummed.

“Whoever could that be?” He muttered, leaning down and capturing you in a kiss. You felt his tongue swipe across your lower lip, but before you could grant him entrance, he pulled away, before moving to mouth softly at your neck. You hummed, your chest fluttering as you inhaled. You could feel his lips move against you, his tongue swiping over the scars of old bites, his canines brush dangerously over the delicate skin of your neck.

You put your hands on his chest and muttered, “Mmh, Astarion, what’s going on?”

“Hmm?” He hummed in a questioning tone.

“You don’t normally act like this,” you breathed. “Is everything okay?”

“So sweet for asking,” he murmured. “Just pent up. I want you, if you’ll have me.”

You scanned over his face; nothing seemed off. He seemed genuine. You weren’t sure why he was offering though; this wasn’t like him. Maybe he was actually just pent up?

“You promise you’ll tell me to stop if it’s too much?”

“Of course, love,” he breathed against your neck, softly nipping at the skin there, threatening to break skin.

You nod, hands running up his sides. “Okay. As long as you promise.”

Astarion gave a pleased sound, his hands snaking under your shirt. Calloused fingertips brushed against your skin, before pulling your shirt up above your head and leaning down to kiss at your shoulders, mouth at your collarbones, and nip at your chest.

You gave a shaky sigh, your hand running over his back, savoring the way he arched against the touch. He was good at this, no doubt, but it always hurt you to think of *why.*

Astarion leaned back, staring down at you almost hungrily. He pulled his own shirt over his head, and you leaned up to run your hands over his chest and his stomach, before leaning in to kiss at the little dimple between his collarbones. He was always finicky about kissing his neck, especially on the side Cazador bit him on, and you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable, so you stuck to his shoulders and chest for now.

His hands found your waist, and as you pulled away from him, you saw the slightest flicker of hesitation in his eyes before he pushed you down to the bedroll and pulled your hips up against his, softly grinding against the curve of your ass.

You weren’t worried about that, though; you saw the way his eyes had slowly grown foggy and distant, the loss of expression, and the way his touches became almost rhythmic, nearly robotic; practiced and routine.

“Stop,” you said.

Astarion snapped out of it in an instant, present here and now once more. “Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?”

“Hun,” you leaned up, scooting your hips apart from his and gently cupping his cheek. “You don’t want this. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I do!” Astarion insisted, “Gods, I want this, please, I’m sorry, just let me-“ he hurriedly began grabbing at your hips, trying to pull you closer,

“Darling, stop.” You said, more assertively this time. His shoulders slumped and the look in his eyes broke your heart; he looked desperate, but not for sex. He looked so disappointed in himself.

“Come here,” you whispered, pulling him in for a hug. “Do you remember when I told you you don’t owe me anything?” He didn’t hug you back, but his forehead rested against your shoulder, and he gave a brisk little nod.

“But I do want it,” he said. “I just… I don’t want to have to give back, or be touched, or just… I don’t know, but I want something, and I-“

You hushed him, sensing his growing stress, running your fingers through his hair. You turned to kiss his temple, and he gave a happy little sound.

“I think I get it. You want to keep your control of your body, but don’t want to have to feel like you owe me pleasure either?” You questioned. He gave a brisk little nod.

“That’s alright. Astarion, we don’t have to do anything like this, I never want your to feel pressured, and-“

“But I do want… something like this.” He rebutted. “I just… want a little. I don’t know. I really am pent up. I’ve tried handling it myself, time and time again… I’ll sneak off into the woods and… and try and rid myself of these desires. But it… just… never works. I cant… I just cant. Not alone.”

You furrowed your brow, feeling just how embarrassed he was with the way he shuffled and squirmed against you, clutching at your sides.

“You mean… you can’t touch yourself, or..?”

“I can’t finish,” he corrected, his words rushed and jumbled.

“Oh,” you said. You kept running your fingers through his hair, taking a moment to think. You could tell how much this embarrassed him, just by how he was acting. “That’s alright, Astarion. What do you want me to do to help?”

“I… don’t know,” he breathed. “I just… I’m frustrated, i need something..”

“Would it be too much for me to touch you like that right now?” You asked him.

He nodded his head, and you pulled back, looking at him as you gently cupped his cheek in your hand. “Use your words, baby boy.”

Red eyes looked up to meet your own, and you couldn’t help but smile at him, if only to comfort him. “Yes, i think that would be too much right now. Maybe… maybe I could… i could touch myself and you can just… be here?”

You flushed a little with his words, but you nodded and kissed the tip of his nose, savoring the way he smiled.

“That sounds wonderful,” you said. “Here,” you began shifting him and yourself.

You moved so he was laying on his side, you laying behind him. Your chest was pressed to his, and you felt the full body shudder that went through him. “This okay?” You asked, and he nodded. You cuddled up to his back, and hummed to him, “Then go ahead, my love. Do what you want.”

Astarion shuddered and you could feel him moving to slip a hand under the hem of his pants. You gently rested a hand on his hip, not sensing anything saying he disliked the touch. His breathing slowly started to pick up, and you could feel him palming himself softly before slipping his cock from his trousers. You hummed your approval, whispering to him, “That’s a good boy.” He whined low in his throat, and you felt his arm start to move as he began stroking himself. You couldn’t see at this angle, but you felt the way his body would slowly start tensing, his chest rising, could see the way he tried to bury his face in the pillow, knowing you were right behind him as he touched himself.

You muttered soft coos of approval to him as he chased his pleasure, each of your words making his breath hitch just a little more.

You hummed, “So good for me, my love, making yourself feel good. Love watching you like this.”

You could so easily ignore your own arousal if it meant you got to witness his. He was beautiful.

Astarion gasped, “D-darling, gods… the way you talk to me, hah, makes me… fuck, I need it…” he trembled and began stroking himself faster, throwing his head back against your shoulder. You smiled against his neck and kissed the pale skin softly, feeling the way it made his entire body shudder. His breathing slowly turned in to whines, desperate and strained.

Your hand ran up to his chest, brushing over the soft skin, savoring the little twitch he gave when your hand ran over his nipples, moving to feel over his rib cage as you whispered how beautiful he was, making himself feel good like this.

You kissed his temple, the saltiness of his sweat clinging to your lips. You caught a glimpse of that beautiful face when he tilted it back to arch himself; brow furrowed, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. “Gods,” you breathed, his red eyes fluttering open. You leaned up to kiss him, not even attempting to look down and see him desperately chasing his release, knowing that catching a glimpse may be too much for him.

You buried your face back in his neck, and he gave a high pitched whine, gasping, “C-can’t… fuck, love, ah, please, I can’t do it, please, help me,” the last words came out as a mere whisper, and you could feel how frantically he was moving in attempting to chase his release. Worried he would hurt himself, you whispered to him, your hand slowly trailing down his hips to rest on his upper thigh.

“May I touch you?” You asked.

“Please,” he nearly sobbed, letting himself go and grabbing your wrist to guide you to his cock. You wrapped your hand around him, heavy and hot in your palm. He was so hard, gods it must have hurt.

You stroked him softly, your thumb swiping over his tip and smearing his precum over himself. He whimpered, still holding your wrist, and you could feel the way his entire body trembled. “Please,” he whispered.

You kissed the back of his neck, mouthing at the flesh there softly as you set your pace, stroking him and smearing his pre over the head, making your hand much slicker to give him a feeling that, if his whimpers and trembles said anything, must be quite lovely.

He jolted and whined, his cock twitching in your hand. You could tell he was close, losing himself to the pleasure, one hand having a death grip on your wrist and the other tangled in the furs of the bedroll. You’d never seen him so lost to himself.

He gasped, “I’m gonna-!” Not even able to get out his warning before your felt his release coating your hand. You stroked him through his orgasm, savoring his gasps, catching the slightest glimpse of a furrowed brow and open mouth, eyes squeezed shut, tears threatening to spill from the corners.

“That’s it, hun,” you breathed to him. “That’s a good boy. Let go for me.”

You kept stroking him until he gave a particularly harsh jolt, with which you withdrew your hand and wiped it on some miscellaneous clothing tossed near your bedroll. You kissed the back of his neck, savoring the silence for a moment.

Astarion was the first to speak. “Thank you,” he said.

“I hope it was to your liking. It wasn’t too much?”

“No, it was wonderful. I… needed that. Do… you want me to take care of you?” He rolled over to face you, glancing down to your trousers. You could see the unease stirring in his eyes at the thought alone

You shook your head. “Tonight was about you. I’m just happy I got to see that pretty face when you came,” you teased, fighting a laugh at Astarion’s shocked and embarrassed expression.

“Gods, you’re truly insufferable sometimes.”

“Same to you, my love,” you teased, kissing the tip of his nose and pulling him in close. You pulled a blanket up over his waist to give him some cover, to which he hummed his appreciation and nuzzled in to your chest, sleep catching the both of you and luring you into its embrace.

[kathaelipwse]

Stuck With You

Masterlist

<<<previous chapter | next chapter>>>

Pairing: CEO!J.Yunho x Secretary!Reader

Trope: Grumpy x Sunshine

Warnings: Smau, Fluff, grumpy yunho, bickering, teasing

Word count: 1.1k

Author's note: Hie lovies! I hope y'll are fine! Enjoyyyy!! Also! Request's are open!!

Chapter 4: Close Quarters & Crossed Boundaries

The hotel suite was spacious, modern, and ridiculously luxurious, but none of that mattered the moment you stepped inside.

Because there was only one bed.

You stopped in your tracks, staring at the single, king-sized bed in the middle of the room. The crisp white sheets were practically mocking you.

Yunho, however, didn’t even blink. “I’ll take the couch,” he muttered, already setting his bag down beside it.

You eyed him, then the couch—if you could even call it that. It was one of those ridiculously fancy, decorative ones, small and barely cushioned. You glanced at him—specifically, his ridiculously tall frame. “You do realize that couch is tiny, right?”

“It’s fine.”

“You’re, like, six feet. Your legs will be dangling off.”

“Still fine.”

You sighed. “Alright. But don’t complain to me when you wake up with a stiff neck and regret your life choices.”

Yunho ignored you, already loosening his tie as if this situation wasn’t as awkward as it clearly was.

Shaking your head, you grabbed your overnight bag. “Well, I call dibs on the shower.”

Yunho rolled his eyes. “Of course you do.”

You smirked at his annoyed tone, enjoying how easy it was to get under his skin. Then, without another word, you headed into the bathroom, locking the door behind you.

The hot shower was heavenly after the exhausting journey. Once you were done, you wrapped yourself in the plush fluffy hotel robe, feeling warm and relaxed as you stepped out.

What you didn’t expect was to crash straight into Yunho’s chest.

You let out a small gasp, gripping the front of his shirt to steady yourself. He had been standing near the bathroom door, picking up something from the floor—his cufflink, apparently.

Yunho froze, his hands awkwardly raised as if unsure where to place them. His eyes flickered down at you before darting away almost instantly, jaw clenching.

You arched a brow, fully aware of how fast he was avoiding eye contact. “What's wrong sir? Never seen someone in a robe before?”

His lips pressed into a thin line. “Shut up......and”

His eyes snapped back to yours, annoyance overtaking his flustered state. “Don’t call me that when we’re not working.”

Your smirk grew. “Oh? Yunho, then?”

He let out a sharp breath. “Just—move.”

Laughing, you stepped aside, watching as he brushed past you in a hurry, shutting the bathroom door behind him with more force than necessary.

Oh, this was way too fun.

Later that night, you lay comfortably on the soft bed, already half-asleep, when you heard a series of frustrated grunts coming from the other side of the room.

Opening one eye, you turned your head and found Yunho tossing and turning on the too-small couch.

Every time he moved, the couch creaked obnoxiously.

You sighed. “Oh my god, just get in the bed already.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I said I’m fine.”

You turned fully, propping yourself up on one elbow. “Yunho. I can literally hear your suffering.”

He muttered something under his breath but didn’t argue—because he knew you were right.

“Alright, fine,” he grumbled, finally standing up.

You smirked in victory as he begrudgingly got under the covers, keeping as much distance as possible.

“Three rules,” you said, holding up a finger for each one. “Stay on your side. No touching. No snoring.”

Yunho huffed. “I don’t snore.”

“Debatable.”

He shot you a glare before turning onto his side, back facing you. You did the same, settling into the blankets.

For a while, there was silence.

Then, unexpectedly, Yunho spoke.

“You never asked.”

You blinked, confused. “Asked what?”

“About the panic attack,” he murmured.

You hesitated before replying softly, “I figured you’d tell me when you’re ready.”

There was a pause. Then, quietly, he admitted, “My mom died in a car crash when I was seven.”

Your breath hitched.

“It was raining. Thundering like last night,” he continued, voice eerily calm. “That’s why—”

“You don’t have to explain,” you cut him off gently, seeing the pain in his eyes even though he wasn’t looking at you.

Yunho didn’t say anything after that. But somehow, you both fell asleep a little more at ease than before.

The Next Morning

Yunho stirred as the morning sunlight streamed into the room, warming his face.

He blinked groggily, trying to shift—only to freeze completely.

His arm was wrapped firmly around your waist.

His legs were tangled with yours.

And worst of all, his face was buried in the crook of your neck, breathing in your soft, warm scent.

Yunho’s heart stopped.

You were still asleep, your breaths slow and peaceful. The golden sunlight highlighted your features, making you look softer than usual, almost…adorable.

Then, his gaze dropped to your lips—slightly parted, plush and inviting.

Yunho’s breath caught.

And before he could stop himself, a small smile tugged at his lips.

She’s cute, he thought, almost fondly.

But then—reality crashed down on him like a tidal wave.

His secretary was in his arms.

His secretary was pressed against his chest.

His secretary’s lips were dangerously close, and he had just caught himself wondering how they would taste.

What the hell was he thinking?!

His entire body went rigid. Carefully—so carefully—he untangled himself from you, making sure not to wake you. His ears burned as he quickly got out of bed, practically bolting toward the bathroom.

His heart was still racing as he splashed cold water onto his face, gripping the sink.

He could not be having these thoughts.

Not about you.

Not about his damn secretary.

But no matter how hard he tried to shake the feeling, one thought remained, lingering in the back of his mind like a forbidden whisper.

He wanted to kiss you.

And that was something he should never want.

....To Be Continued.

---

[beenbaanbuun]

seventeen’s reaction to their youngest member getting injured

choi seungcheol

has already lost 10 years of his life just from worrying about you

loses 5 more when he has to accompany you to the hospital because of your broken leg

he tried to save the lecture until after he knows you’re okay, but he can’t help it when the leader in him comes out

the conversation *cough* reprimand *cough* lasts for the whole car journey and by the time you’ve got the the hospital, you’d already been blocking it out for 10 minutes

“you need to be more careful,” he said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he might be frustrated, but he still wanted to show you he cared. “it might be a broken leg this time but who knows what it’ll be next time!”

at the end of the day he just cares about you too much to see you hurt

yoon jeonghan

if it isn’t bad, he’ll just tease you about how clumsy you are

probably still teases you if it is bad, but when you start tearing up because of how much it hurts, will immediately stop

causes hell just to make sure you’re getting the best treatment possible because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t make you were were as comfortable as possible

eventually calms down when you assure him you’re fine and you feel perfectly alright with what you’d been given

leaves 80% of the lecturing to seungcheol and just gives you a tiny one himself, mostly about how you’re not allowed to worry him

once he knows you’re feeling a little better, a switch will flip and he’ll go back to his regular annoying self just to try and get things back to normal

“well at least you didn’t fall down the stairs,” he laughed before cutting it short just a few seconds later, “oh, wait… never mind, you did!”

hong jisoo

was the only one around when you cut your finger open with the kitchen knife

doesn’t know what to do so he sends a text to seungcheol and shoves your hand under the cold tap for a while

tries to cheer you up but doesn’t really know how to when you’re bleeding profusely and crying just as much

eventually lands on his usual method of doing stupid shit just to get the tiniest smile out of you while you wait for anyone else to come and do the important part of patching you up

“keep your hand there,” he tells you as he lets go of your wrist and steps away from you, “get ready to feel better.”

100% does that silly little dance of his which has you cry laughing instead of just regular crying

you almost forget how much it hurts and shua considers his job done!

wen junhui

kind of clueless on what to do when you go to him with a bloody nose and tell him you got hit in the face playing foot volleyball

sits you down on the sofa whilst he frantically google’s how to stop nose bleeds

asks you to go and grab tissues before realising that you’re the one he’s supposed to be helping and goes to get them himself

winces a bit when he gets blood on his hands but remembers that he’s doing it for you and the grossness of it goes away pretty quickly

tries to talk you through the pain, letting you know about what he’s been doing with his day and what he’s planning to do later

“and then you came in to talk to me and i think that’s it,” he finished up recounting every second of his day as he switched the tissue for a clean one, “and then later i’m going to head to the practice rooms to-”

definitely forgets about your injury once the bleeding has stopped and boops you on the nose only to profusely apologise when you wince in pain

kwon soonyoung

if you could run away with a sprained ankle, you definitely should because hoshi will turn up his clinginess by about 80% the moment he hears that you have an injury

will not let you out of his sight until he knows you’re okay again

unfortunately for you that means you have a permanent body guard telling you what you can and can’t do which gets very old very fast

you cant even hide from him because god knows he will seek you out and yell at you for walking on your bad ankle too much

might be overbearing but in reality he just wants you to get better as quickly as possible because it makes him sad to see you in pain

“sit down and let me do it,” hoshi shouted as he noticed you trying to get a bowl of cereal for yourself, “and you wonder why i like to keep an eye on you…”

you eventually give into the clinginess in the hopes that he’ll get bored after a while… he doesn’t…

jeon wonwoo

freezes when he spots you crying and holding your wrist in front of the stove

literally does not know what to do in this situation because he usually palms it off onto one of his other members

but he’s the only one around and you’ve just been burnt and desperately need someone to help

so he walks over to you and drags you to the sink with your good wrist, all whilst muttering complaints about how you need to be more careful

strokes your hair when you’re running your wrist under the cold water to try and soothe you just a little

“you’re okay, y/n,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your hairline, “i know it hurts but the longer you hold it under the water, the less it’ll hurt in the long run.”

passes you along to the next member that comes along but will check up on you every few minutes just to make sure you’re okay

lee jihoon

his first response is always ‘go find seungcheol’ when you go to him with an injury, but sometimes he’s the only one around and you look so upset and fuck… he’ll have to deal with this

very methodical about it - asks you what’s wrong, finds out what he needs to do, does it

he’ll try and hide his smile as you tell him about what stupid thing you were doing that got you hurt this time, but tries to hide it because at the end of the day, you’re still injured

usually shuffles in close whilst he’s bandaging you up just so you can lean on him in it gets too painful at any point

he refuses to complain about you leaning on him when you’re hurt because how can he deny you physical affection when it’s obviously making you feel better

in reality he just has a soft spot for you and uses you being hurt as an excuse to let you hug him with no complaints

“there we go, kid,” he rubs your arm affectionately, “all patched up…”

lee seokmin

panics because oh god his kid is hurt and he doesn’t know what to do and WHERE IS SEUNGCHEOL

will sit down and hold you close while he rings around the members to try and find one to come and help

he claims the cuddling is to help soothe, but you both know it’s so he can calm himself down more than anything

eventually gets ahold of another member and begs them to come home and help

breathes a sigh of relief when they agree; now his only job is making sure you’re calm and comfortable and nothing hurts too much

cue seokmin literally becoming your butler for the next 20 minutes whilst you wait for someone else to get home because he needs to make sure that you have everything you need

“do you need more tea?” he asks as you take the final sip. not even a second passes before the mug is taken from you and more tea is poured. “i’ll get you some more, just so you have it if you want it, okay?”

kim mingyu

tries his hardest to help but he can’t help but gag when you tell him about how you trapped you fingers in the car door

doesn’t know what to do so he literally wraps up your whole hand in gauze and calls it a day - it’s someone else’s problem now

spends more time trying to cheer you up than he actually does helping with your injury because at least he knows how to make you smile

tells you bad jokes until you can’t breathe from laughter and you’re begging him to stop

he stops but only so you can get your breath back, and then he starts again because laughter is clearly a great pain killer

“if it’s more jokes you want then it’s more jokes i have, pipsqueek,” mingyu smiled at you as you frantically shook your head, “no more jokes? well that’s boring… how about this one? why did the old man-”

continues until someone more qualified to deal with your gross injury gets home

xu minghao

doesn’t lecture you in the same way seungcheol does, but definitely gives you a speech about how you shouldn’t be putting yourself in dangerous situations

rolls his eyes at you when you try and pass the blame onto another member who you claimed to be your ‘partner in crime’ because he knows it was definitely just your own clumsiness

still tries his hardest to help clean up the scratch on your face that you got from who knows what - minghao had zoned out part way through your convoluted story

lets you squeeze his hand if the antiseptic makes your scratch hurt too much

even let’s you pick out a cute bandaid to put over it just because he knows it’ll cheer you up

“if your stylist gets mad at you, don’t come crying to me,” he grumbles as he presses a kind kiss to the bandaid, “it’s your own fault, no one else’s.”

tells you to be careful before you go running off to cause more trouble

boo seungkwan

very much an ‘i told you this would happen’ kind of person, even if he had not ‘told you so’ like he says he did

will roll his eyes when you get brought back to the dorms with a cast on your wrist, but is the first to help you carry your stuff inside

yells at you if you even think about lifting a finger but complains about how you’re making him do everything for you

you always tell him if it’s that much trouble you’ll do it yourself, but he’ll just glare at you and tell you to stop talking nonsense

threatens to tell seungcheol whenever he catches you with your arm out of your sling

would actually go through with it if he thought you were doing any real damage to your arm

“the doctor wouldn’t like you doing that, you know,” he muttered as he watched you stretch out your aching limb, “neither would seungcheol…”

choi hansol

vernon knows that if you go to him with an injury, you have exhausted literally every other option you have

literally clueless about what to do when you walk up to him with a black eye because you ran into a glass door

google is his best friend as he frantically searches how to reduce bruising

has no qualms with sending you to retrieve your own ice pack from the freezer as he does some more googling…

won’t do much to try and cheer you up other than putting on a movie and grabbing snacks for the two of you to share

doesn’t complain about holding your ice pack in place when you fall asleep on his shoulder… after all, it just means more snacks for him

falls asleep himself before the film is over and your ice pack ends up on the floor… so much for trying to reduce the bruising

lee chan

probably his fault you were injured in the first place so he makes you promise that if he helps then you won’t tell any of the older members

you only agree to the deal when he offers to buy you a meal as well as helping you clean and bandage the cuts on your knees from where he tripped you

he honestly tries his hardest to help, partly because he feels bad and partly because he doesn’t want to face anyone’s wrath when they find out he’s the reason you’re injured

tries is the main word, though, as he ends up having to get help from someone else anyway

he chooses the least likely member to get him in trouble and together him and mingyu puzzle over what to do about your knees

you eventually end up guiding them through the process of cleaning them and then wiping them down with antiseptic before bandaging them

“do you think i did a good job?” he asks once the bandages were secured over the grazes. you glared at him. “fine, a good enough job for you to not tell on me…”

[thaleleah]

𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 (𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓣𝔀𝓸)

Pairing: Billy The Kid x Fem!Nun!Reader

Warnings: ***NON-CON***, Dub-Con, Dark!Billy, Virgin!Reader, Oral (female receiving), Fingering, P in V, Corruption Kink, Creampie, Possessive Behavior, Masturbation, Wet Dreams/Sex Dreams, Seduction, Emotional Manipulation, Religion and Religious Beliefs, Explicit talk of gunshot wounds, blood, and the bullet's removal, Mention of physical abuse/child abuse (not from Billy), Childhood Trauma, Mention of alcoholism, Moral/Religious conflict within one's self, My bad Spanish, Nun breaking her vows, Probably too quick of a healing process to be fucking someone but I'm not a doctor so 🤷🏻‍♀️, Using the word "drawers" instead of "panties" which is kinda cringe to me but I wanted to be somewhat accurate

Word Count: 9.5K

A/N: So sorry this took so long! 🥺 But I hope you guys like it and I'm hopeful that the next part won't take nearly as long to get out.

Summary: When Billy stumbles into your clinic, hurt and in desperate need of care and refuge, you don't hesitate to help him. Perhaps this is God's will. Perhaps He has brought him into your life to help heal the parts of him that the cruelness of the world has soiled and broken. You are a healer by trade, both of the physical body and of faith. If this is to be God's mission for you, then it shall be done. How could you have possibly known that the young man who begged for help that fateful night would turn out to be the devil himself?

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The ride to Joe’s cabin only takes a few hours, and the sun is high in the sky by the time Sam helps you down from your seat. You hastily make your way to the front door, opening the latch and pushing it open, keeping it propped with a heavy rock laid by the door while Sam opens the back of the wagon. The journey inside is a bit more difficult this time. Billy gasps in pain when you stumble on the front stairs, tripping over your tunic and jerking his body down accidentally as a result. He’s breathing harshly when you and Sam are able to lay him down on your brother’s bed and you once again find yourself whispering apology after apology as you lift his shirt and the bandage to check on his wound. 

Thankfully, there’s no tears or rips. You were only able to bring a little bit of the suture material and enough extra bandages in your bag to get you by. The clinic has limited materials as it is, so you only packed what you thought the clinic could spare. It’s enough to completely redo his stitches if necessary, but you’re hoping it won’t ever come to that. 

Billy’s safe here now, he will not be leaving the bed until he’s well enough to start moving around on his own. 

His hand comes down to rest on top of your own, pushing your hand down and forcing you to recover the stitches with the bandage as his fingers curl around your palm. 

“Hey,” He says softly, calling your eyes to his tired ones. “I'm okay.”

His hand is gentle on yours, thumb lazily sweeping back and forth across the back of it. You pull it away, smoothing your tunic down again just for something else to do with your hands.

You didn’t even notice when Sam left the room, too preoccupied with checking on Billy’s wound, but your head turns at the sound of his boots on the steps of the porch. He steps back into the cabin, a crate held in his hands filled with food and other supplies and you let out a grateful sigh at the sight of it.  

“Thank you, Sam,” You say, watching as he deposits the crate just on the side of the doorway. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you helping us. You’re a good man,” 

Sam smiles shyly at your words of praise, and out of the corner of your eye you notice how Billy’s head snaps towards him. 

“Of course, Sister y/n. Anything for you and the other Sisters,”

“Are you sure this is alright? You don’t need it for your delivery?”

“No,” He says with a shake of his head. “I packed it for you to have,”

You cup Sam’s cheek in thanks and shoot another glance towards Billy just to make sure he’s okay. His face is turned to the side again, pressing against the pillow for comfort, but you can see how his eyes are still on you, following your every move as you follow Sam out of the cabin. 

Poor Billy, he must still be so nervous. So on edge about being hunted like he's nothing more than a rabid animal needing to be put down. Hopefully now that he's safe and out of harm's way, he can find some peace.

You walk Sam out, watching as he checks the horses and settles himself on the seat. 

“I’ll come back in two weeks,” He promises. “That should be enough time for the search for him to wind down. Can't let people get suspicious. I have another delivery to do 'round then. I'll bring you some extra food and supplies.” 

You wave as he nudges the wagon into motion and wait until he’s completely out of view over the hill before heading back inside and closing the door behind you. 

Billy’s still watching you as you move about the main living area. Your brother’s bed has a direct line of eyesight into the front area, so Billy doesn’t even have to move to be able to watch you as you settle your bag and extra blankets onto the floor. You’ve told Joe before about how dangerous you think it is to have his bed in clear sight of the entrance, but he’s told you many times that he doesn’t like being told what to do.

“Besides, you know what it was like,” You remember him telling you. “Sleeping soundly in that house was never an option. And that feeling never goes away. If someone ever tries to break in here and attack me, I’ll already be awake and ready with my gun pointed at them before they even make it through the front door.”

As much as it pained you to hear, you know the truth of it. You’ve gotten better, you think. Whereas when you were younger, you would wake from the slightest noise, terrified of what might come after it. But now you find you can sleep through the night with very little problems. It’s not perfect - some nights are harder than others, but you credit God and the wonderful family you’ve found at the convent. They gave you rest, taught you to give your fears to the Lord so that He may take the burden they bear from you. They gave you peace in the world when you had none, and for that you will be eternally grateful. 

Joe has not been so lucky, choosing instead to lock himself away in solitude rather than give his grievances up for absolvement. You pray for him every day despite his reluctance, asking God for guidance on his behalf.

The entire cabin is almost bare, sparse furniture just enough to be convenient. Despite your prayers, you know the ghost of the past still hovers over your brother's shoulder and even still, you wonder how he can stand to call this place a home with how unloved it feels.

“How do you know Sam?” Billy asks, and the cabin is small enough that his voice carries from room to room.

“He and his father run one of the markets in town,” You reply. You make your way into the bedroom, pulling the now rumpled blankets from under Billy's body and adjusting them so they lay over him neatly. “They’re our suppliers.”

“You seem very close,” Billy says, absently running his fingers over the edge of the blanket.

“Oh, well, he’s a dear friend,”

“You sure you can trust him?”

You nod, a small twinge offended at the implication of Sam being untrustworthy. After what he just risked to get you both here and Billy still doubts him? You stomp the feeling down just as quick as it flares. “Sam is incredibly loyal. He would never betray us,”

Billy’s mouth turns up in an unpleasant curl. “I think he likes you,”

Your brow furrows in confusion. “I should hope so. Otherwise, he is a very good actor,”

He huffs a small laugh at your attempt at a joke, but it doesn’t really sound joyful. “Not like that,”

It takes a second for your brain to register his vague words, but when they do your mouth falls open in shock at the bold statement. “No. No, no. Certainly not. Not me anyway,”

Oops. Perhaps you’ve said too much. 

Now it’s Billy’s brows that furrow and he stares at you, hard, as if trying to read your mind about what you’ve meant. They shoot up as it clicks for him, a smirk pulling at his lips at the realization. “Him and one of the other nuns?”

“No!” You gasp. “Absolutely not. Sam just– bless his heart. He… has romantic feelings for one of the Sisters.”

“She doesn’t feel the same?”

Not exactly. Sam and Sister Ann have a connection that anyone with eyes can’t deny. They help complete each other and help each other grow in ways that one can only hope to experience in this life. Sister Ann has even confided in you that, while she doesn’t regret joining the church, she can’t help but think that if she had met Sam sooner then she would have said her vows to him instead of straight to God. 

“It’s not that simple,” You settle with. “She’s a woman of faith and she’s spoken for by the church. They can’t be together regardless of what she may feel. Sam understands.”

Billy hums, a low and displeased sound. “Hm. Poor Sam,”

You’re not quite sure how to respond to that, so you don’t. Billy’s still frowning, so you tell him he should rest some more while you go fix up some lunch for you both. You’re happy to find that the simple stew made from some deer meat your brother had stored before his current trip is enough to cut the sudden unexpected tension and return him to good spirits. 

Things are calmer now that you’ve arrived at the cabin. There’s very little risk of unwanted visitors and your brother’s last letter puts him deep in Texas and considering venturing upwards, so you're confident that he won’t be coming home anytime soon. 

You’ve heard stories about Billy the Kid. Your patients like to talk, surprisingly gossipy considering most should be too sick or too involved with their pain to speak. But they push through their uncomfortableness to tell you stories of the young outlaw whose face is on the Most Wanted posters in at least three separate counties. 

“He’s a ruthless killer.”

“A no-good murderer.”

“A good person who’s just had back luck.”

“A kindly fellow. He helped scare off some kids who were robbin’ me!”

And as you talk to Billy more and more, you can’t help but agree with the last two opinions. Billy is a sweetheart - respectful and kind like any man should be towards any woman despite her role in society. He listens with rapt attention as you tell him stories of your travels as you clean and re-bandage his wound. He nods when you tell him about the difference between the Utah territory and the Montana territory, and laughs when you tell him about your very memorable trip to Mexico where you climbed off the wagon and didn’t even take one step before face planting in a pile of mud. His grin is almost blinding when you tell him about the day you and your brother reunited after two years apart. 

“Your brother’s name is Joe?” He asks.

“Mhm,” You confirm, leaning back into the chair you’ve placed next to the bed. 

“My brother’s name was Joe, too,”

“Oh,” You smile despite the twinge in your heart. The word ‘was’ is almost devastating to hear. “It’s a good name. A strong name.”

Billy nods and his voice is barely above a whisper as he responds, “Yeah, it is,” and you think you can physically see the light die in his eyes as he thinks about it, the look of happiness he had just a second ago completely snuffed out by past memories.  

You don’t want to pry, it’s not your place. But then he glances at you with those big blue eyes of his and all you see is hurt. God has put you on this Earth to be a healer, and you think that turning away now would be doing both Him and the broken man in front of you a disservice. 

“Was he older or younger?” You ask, softly. “Your brother,”

“Younger,” he responds, and your heart breaks more at the rueful smile he sends you. “He died. Consumption. My mother too.”

Oh. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Billy. I can only imagine how hard that must have been,”

He doesn’t say anything. He’s not even looking at you now, just staring off into the distance as if somewhere else. 

You lean forward, placing a careful hand on his arm. “Tell me about them?”

This time, the smile is real.

You learn over the next few days that Billy’s faith is in even worse shape than you feared. 

For most, the presence of God is never fully gone from their hearts. Most who you’ve talked to who are rocky with their faith feel abandoned, cast aside as if The Heavenly Father were to play favorites and they’ve somehow found themselves on the losing side of the ‘sibling’ competition. Others feel betrayed by Him - those who have suffered great loss or tragedy and can’t understand how someone who’s entire being is made up in the light of faith and love can allow such heartbreak and suffering to happen to His children. 

You do your best to soothe their heavy hearts. You tell them that God works in mysterious ways and that each and every person has their own trials and lessons in life that they must learn and overcome. 

“Everything happens for a reason,” You say. “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. But He is always by our side, speaking to us. All we have to do is listen.”

Words are not as powerful as feelings or actions, but you’re always grateful whenever your words are able to help heal any of their woes, even if just a little bit. 

Billy, however… you are horrified to see that his faith is gone completely. 

He talks about how he came to New Mexico and all he’s seen on the way. His start in New York City and the promise of a better life in Kansas. The lies and tragedy they were met with there. The death of his father. 

“I think my Pa knew there was no one up there lookin’ out for us even back then,” Billy says, and it takes everything you have in you to stay silent at the horrific statement. “That’s why he just… gave up.”

For all that you disagree with, you can understand why Billy feels the way he does. He truly has had no one in his corner - devastating hardship after devastating hardship throughout the entirety of his life and he’s had to fight tooth and nail, carving a place out in the world for himself by force, just to get a bit of peace that should have been readily given to him.

“Tell me, Sister. When you’re by yourself in the world, young and alone and starvin’, not a penny to your name and no work for you in the entire county, what else are you supposed to do?”

The tears welling in your eyes match the ones threatening to spring from his. 

“Exactly what you did,” You whisper back.

A single tear escapes one red rimmed eye, running down the curve of his cheek. “Is that what your god does? Leave children to steal or starve and then let them be arrested and made into a criminal when they choose not to just roll over and die?”

The lump in your throat refuses to go down. “We can’t know what the Lord’s plan is for us. It’s a mystery meant for us to unravel,” Your words are true, but they feel bitter on your tongue. “No matter how hard it might be.”

Billy’s eyes soften at your words, thick lashes clumping together with unshed tears, and when he speaks again, his voice is full of emotion.

“You remind me of my Ma,” 

He’s told you about his Ma. A kindly, religious minded woman whose devotion to God and her ‘rotten, cheatin’, stealin’ ass husband’ was her downfall. 

“‘I won’t leave him’ she said.” Billy had huffed, hands squeezing into fists as they wrapped tightly around the blanket. “‘I said my vows before God and the Catholic church’. What am I supposed to say to that?”

You can see how it eats at him - still after all these years since his mother’s passing and the guilt of not being able to save her, to protect her from anything and everything trying to harm her, it gnaws away at his heart. You think she might have been his best friend. 

“Yeah, you remind me of my Ma,” He repeats, voice soft and low, and you wonder if this is the voice that he used to use when talking to her. “She was optimistic too. A dreamer, always tryin’ to see the best in people when all they do is show you their worst.” 

“She sounds like a lovely lady,” You say. It’s genuine - you think it would have been an honor to meet the woman that Billy called a mother had you ever gotten the chance. 

The woman who was strong for her family when it felt like the entire world was crumbling down around them. The woman who pushed for progress and courage when they uprooted their entire lives in hopes of finding something better elsewhere and held it together for the sake of her children when their father passed. The woman who sacrificed staying in an unfaithful and unhappy marriage for the sake of her kids and loyalty to God’s will. 

“The vows we make are meant to be for eternity, Billy,” You had told him. “They are not to be broken easily or without consequence. If they were, there would be no point in making them and they would lose their significance.”

Your own mother knew that too. Despite how much you wanted her to leave him when you were younger - run away just you, Mama, and Joe - she never did. 

“My father wasn’t a very nice man either,” You say, eventually. “Like your stepdad. He was cruel. He would hit her, and Joe…” The me remains unspoken, but understood anyway. 

Billy remains silent, but his eyes are on you, listening with full attention to whatever you’re about to tell him. The idea that maybe God has sent Billy into your life to help heal some unresolved part of you, too, isn’t lost on you. 

“I know that we are all God’s children,” You say. “And I know that there is good in all people. But sometimes… I think the Devil’s hold is much too strong on some. Because I can’t remember even one ounce of goodness in my father.”

“Is your mother still with him?”

“No. She’s dead.” 

The days go by with an unexpected ease that you're grateful for.

You talk, and talk, and talk - and honestly, that's about as much as you can do. Your brother has nothing. No forms of entertainment and no distractions that wouldn't be considered laborious and harmful for Billy's recovery.

You like to talk though. Like to get to know people and have other's get to know you in return. Each person is unique - an extension of God and an example of His love for us personified.

It's even better when the energetic connection is instant, two souls recognizing each other and relating to each other in a way that you think all of God's children should be able to. Talking with Billy is easy, and despite the differences in religious views, you find that conversation between the both of you flows like water. And when that water sometimes finds itself hitting the shore of land, you find that Sam has come through for you once again.

Sam, bless his soul, has had the forethought to pack a chess board and a pack of playing cards in his care package, and you find that they become quite handy when the rare silence between conversations becomes too stretched.

Despite the initial stress and your reasoning for being here, it's nice.

Five days into the stay at your brother’s place finds you relieved to see that Billy’s wound is still making progress with its healing. You were a little concerned that the threat of being caught and the additional stress on the stitches from the abrupt movements of being transferred to the cabin could have brought about an infection, but the area around the injury still looks clean. 

You make sure to send up a quick prayer of thanks for the Good Lord’s grace. 

While Billy’s wound is healing nicely, your back, on the other hand, is in significant pain. 

Joe’s place is built for one, so the single bed in the only bedroom is more than enough to house him when he’s home. For two, however - it’s a little problematic. 

Billy gets the bed, that’s a given. He’s injured, and people need to be comfortable with lots of rest so that they can heal properly. You’re no stranger to uncomfortable sleeping spaces anyway. You’ve spent more than your share of nights on the floor of dusty inns during your travels and, to be completely honest, it's not like the beds at the convent were much better. It’s moments like this where it reminds you of how many things humans take for granted in their day-to-day lives. Sometimes it takes losing something for someone to appreciate it. 

Despite the uncomfortableness, sleeping on the floor has never really bothered you much. It’s been a few years since you’ve had to do it though. Even on the round-the-clock shifts at the clinic there’s at least been a cot available to you, but here there’s only the hard wooden floor and the single blanket you’ve allowed yourself to claim. 

And, perhaps you aren’t as young as you used to be, because the shooting pain in your back as you carefully roll to your side has you gasping.

Billy must hear the noise because you can hear the slight ruffle of bedding as he shifts, his voice calling out a concerned, “Sister, you alright?”

“Fine,” You call back through gritted teeth. Every movement feels like torture as you brace your hands on the floor to help push you up. You can do it, you tell yourself. You can do it. God willing… “Just- ah! Just trying to– get up.”

The rustling of the bedding sounds more deliberate now and you’re shouting from your place on the floor before you can think about what you’re doing. “Don’t you dare get out of that bed, William Bonney! Or so help me,”

The rustling stops, and you steel yourself to try to push up and off the floor. It feels like a miracle when you’re on your feet. Your garments are wrinkled and slightly dusted, but that’s to be expected out here. It’s the bare space on the floor that gives you pause. How are you meant to sleep on the floor again tonight with the way you feel right now? The thought seems almost unbearable. Perhaps Billy will spare one of his extra blankets - the slight extra cushion could be all you need.

At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

A few steps takes you into the bedroom and your suspicions are confirmed when you see Billy sitting up in the bed, blankets pooling down at his waist as his arms prop himself up, his right leg is just swung over the edge of the bed at the knee in a perfect indication of his intention of getting up. 

Ignoring the pain in your back, you walk forward, clicking your tongue in disapproval as you push him back down flat with a firm hand to his forehead. He goes back willingly, moving his leg back in place when you tap on his knee.

“You could have pulled your stitches trying to get up like that,” You reprimand. 

“‘So help you’ what?” He responds.

“What?”

“You said ‘or so help me’. So, ‘or so help me’ what?” Billy says with a small playful smirk on his face.

“God,” You respond with a smile of your own. “So help me God. So that maybe He can send me some holy restraints to tie you to this bed to keep you from ripping your stitches and worsening your injury that I worked so hard on healing.”

Billy’s smirk widens. “Careful now, Sister. Some people like that kinda thing,”

You can feel the heat flood your face from his implication, eyes widening as your mouth parts in shock. 

You don’t know how to respond - you’ve never been in this type of situation before. For men and all their faults, you’ve been lucky to find that most of them, even the criminals and frequent brothel visitors have mostly been respectful of your title. Inappropriate comments and jokes have rarely been said in your presence since becoming a nun, and on the rare occasion they have you’ve never been shocked since the offenders are always obvious the second they open their mouths. 

But somehow it strikes you speechless to hear the sexual meaning coming from Billy’s lips. 

“Oh, is that too much for the Angel’s ears?” He laughs. “M’sorry.”

You force a quiet laugh, working your lips into a small smile as you try to battle through the uncomfortableness. He’s just joking. He doesn’t mean anything by it. Men will be men for as sexually driven as they are, and some are just more outspoken about it than others. Billy’s been on his own since he was a young teen, running around with that band of outlaws who you’re sure are far worse than he is. You’ve had the displeasure of meeting Jesse Evans before. And you certainly weren’t shocked when the rude words fell from his mouth about how he imagined how good you would look without all that ‘modesty bullshit you have on’. 

Billy isn’t Jesse though, so you just lightly smack his shoulder with the back of your hand as you let out a half teasing but mostly serious, “You watch your language around me, sir. I’m a lady,”

“Yes, ma’am,” He grins. “Yes, you are.”

You hum out a small sound of disapproval as you bend forward slightly to try and adjust the blankets that have twisted around his waist during his premature attempt to stand, but you're stopped when the sharp pain consequence of sleeping on the floor shoots up your spine. Billy starts at your loud gasp, hand darting out to grab your arm as if he could catch you if you suddenly dropped to the ground. Your hands press against your back in agony and they stay there as you slowly limp to the chair next to the bed. 

Billy watches as you gingerly lower yourself into the seat. The pain doesn’t go away now that you’re sitting down, but at least you don’t have to move for a while. “What happened?” 

“Sleeping on the floor hasn’t been very kind to me,” You respond through gritted teeth. 

“You should sleep in the bed then,” 

“No,” You say, shaking your head, appalled at the thought of kicking Billy out of the bed while he’s still healing. “You’re injured. You get the bed.”

The eyebrow raise you get in response tells you that you misunderstood his meaning. “I think we can both share the bed,”

“No,” You say, again. “No, no. It’s not proper.”

“Sister y/n–”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve dealt with harder things than just sleeping on the floor. A little back pain isn’t going to keep me down,”

Billy looks like he doesn’t believe you, but he keeps quiet on the matter anyway.

He distracts you instead by keeping you talking. He asks about why you decided to join the convent and take your vows. You tell him about your brother and how he couldn’t bear to be around your drunk of a father anymore, and how you harbored such anger at him for what felt like an eternity but was only actually a year and a half because you felt betrayed by him. Deserted and left to fend for yourself by your own brother. How you walked around your house praying to never be seen, acting like a ghost in your own home in hopes of keeping away any avoidable conflict. How your mother did her best to shelter you from it all, and you can tell by the way Billy’s brows furrow and his lips pinch together that he wants to say something harsh in response, but he stays silent. You can only imagine what he would say.

“Shelterin’ you would’ve been takin’ you far away from him, not forcin’ you to stay in a dangerous place just because she thinks it's what God wants. If that’s what God really wants, then maybe he’s the evil one, hm?”

You’re thankful he doesn’t actually say it. You’re not sure if you would have the right words to try to defend otherwise.

“Turning to God was the best thing I’ve ever done,” You say instead. “In Him I’ve found peace like I’ve never known before. I found a family and a purpose in life. That’s more than I could ever ask for.”

“That should be the bare minimum,”

Turns out it doesn’t matter what he decided to say because you don’t really have the right words to defend against that statement either. 

“You deserve to have someone lookin’ out for you,” Billy says, and his stare is so earnest and intense that you can’t bare to look him in the eyes anymore. 

“I’m… I’m going to go make breakfast,” 

He watches you push yourself up from the chair, wincing as your back protests the movement, but doesn’t move to stop you. 

You use the time you’re cooking to gather yourself. Prayers of apology fall from your lips to God as you beg for forgiveness at being caught unable to hear His wisdom during your conversation with Billy. Billy spoke his truth, no matter how wrong it was, and his words made you falter - unable to uphold Him and His grace in the face of judgment. This is your mission, your test.

And you’re failing. 

Sister Catherine wouldn’t have hesitated. She would have known exactly how to respond to his disbelief. She has a level head on her shoulders, the words of God falling from her lips like water. Perhaps she would have been better suited to handle this task. 

No. That’s the work of the devil - the fear and self-doubt you feel. Meant to slow you down and keep you from fulfilling your cause and spiritual duties.

Steeling yourself, you pile spoonfuls of the now thickened oatmeal into two bowls, topping them with a generous drizzle of honey before picking them up and taking a deep breath. You try your best to ignore the pain still throbbing in your back as you head back to the bedroom, pausing just outside the door and letting the heat from the bowls sink into your hands as you talk yourself up. 

Have faith in His Holiness, y/n. He will guide you. 

When Billy’s eyes catch on you as you walk through the doorway, his face is soft and friendly - none of the overwhelming intensity or barely contained anger that was there before. 

“That smells great,” He says, taking the bowl from your outstretched hand. His bright blue eyes follow your movement as you sink slowly back into the chair next to the bed, resting your own bowl on your lap. 

He smiles, clearly trying to calm your unease that you’re sure is still evident on your face and takes a large bite of oatmeal. 

“Hmm,” He hums, closing his eyes briefly at the taste. “This is delicious. Best meal I’ve ever had. Cooked by an angel, I can tell.”

“Thank you,” You reply, and you can feel the involuntary pull of a smile on your lips at the praise.

He’s a good man, too. You can tell.

The floor isn’t any softer as night rolls around. 

You try to sleep on your stomach, one arm propped underneath your head and the blanket balled on top of it so you have something soft to rest your cheek on. The other arm twists down at your side, a position that probably doesn’t seem very pleasant but that’s been your go-to comfort position since you were a young girl. It helps alleviate the tightness in your back for a little bit, but the ache is still there - laying in wait until you fall asleep and your body automatically rolls into the more reasonable position for floor sleeping. 

You don’t sleep, or at least you don’t think you do. It doesn’t feel like you do. Your mini dozes just feel like blinks, those moments where you close your eyes, just for a second, before you’re opening them again in the next moment only to realize how much time has actually gone by. You’re not sure if it's minutes or hours, but more often than not you’re blinking only to find that you’re mid roll in adjusting positions and the pain in your back is too intense for your sleeping brain to handle. At one point, you manage to roll completely over before you wake up - the blink of closing your eyes while on your stomach, darkness encompassing the entirety of the main room, and then suddenly your eyes are opening again with the ceiling as your viewpoint, the beginnings of the sun shining in through the window, and the unbelievable agony ever present in your spine. 

You’re so preoccupied with the pain that you almost don’t notice Billy standing in the doorway of the bedroom. His eyes are set on your tensed frame, dark brows furrowed in concern as he takes a cautious step towards you. 

“Sister y/n,” He says, carefully. 

“W-what are you doing o-out of bed?” You ask through gritted teeth. Oh gosh, this hurts so much. You feel like you can’t move, like your entire body is stiff as a board and one wrong move will snap the wood across the grain where it’s the weakest and break it in half. You can’t even bear the thought of rolling over to try to get up.

Billy ignores your question, crouching down beside you with one knee pressing into the floor for stability. His hand caresses the wound on his side, and even through your pain you don’t miss the slight wince he gives even as his eyes rake over you with worry. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. The hand that was just pressed to his side comes to cup your cheek. 

You’re not sure why you’re noticing how large his hand is right now in this moment as it presses against your skin, his long fingers curling to press gently into the fabric of your veil just behind your ear. You should be chastising him, scolding him for getting out of the bed and possibly injuring himself further. He winced, you saw it. He’s in pain. But all you can focus on right now is the comfort his warm hand brings with your nerves this fried and body this agonized. 

“It hurts,” You whimper.

“I know, Angel. I know.” His voice is soft and soothing, the low tone caressing your eardrums. 

The sight of his eyes watering cuts through the pain for a moment, and you wonder if that’s really truly what you’re seeing or if maybe it’s your own tear filled eyes playing tricks on you. Your hand reaches up, intent on caressing his own cheek and swiping your thumb under his eye to see if it's actually wet, but he catches your hand in his and brings the back of your hand to his lips. 

“You’ve done so much for me already,” He murmurs, lips brushing against the back of your hand. “Let me help you now, okay?”

Billy’s arms fit themselves under your body, one arm creeping underneath your tensed back while the other loops beneath your knees. Your hand clutches desperately at his shirt, fisting the material in between your fingers, as he lifts you from the floor. Your agonized gasp mixes with his own grunt of pain as he stands up with you held securely in his arms and pressed against his chest. 

“Your stitches,” You try to say, but he just shushes you. 

“Shh. Don’t worry about me. M’fine,”

He carries you to the bed, carefully placing you down on the mattress. The softness of it under your back doesn’t do much to alleviate the pain, but the anxious part of you is hopeful that it will the longer you lay on it. But then Billy walks around the other side, the bed dipping down under his weight as he settles down on it, and you’re instantly filled with shame. 

You shouldn’t be in bed with a man. Ever. You gave up that possibility when you took your vows, promising that it's only His spirit that would ever get to be around an area as intimate and personal as your bed. 

“I can’t,” You say, trying in vain to push yourself up, but the sharp pain you receive for your efforts makes you freeze. “Ah! It’s not– not proper.”

“Y/n, please,” He says, hand coming down to press lightly on your shoulder to keep you down. “Just for today.”

You almost miss it - the absence of the title when he says your name. And that’s inappropriate too. Not only are you alone with a man, in the same bed together, but he’s dropped the earned title to show your life’s calling entirely. You want to reprimand him immediately. Jump out of the bed and wiggle your finger in his face just to make him understand how wrong this is. 

But his eyes are filled with worry, silently begging you to just lay there for a while, just until you feel better and the words die in your throat.

He’s a good man. He doesn’t mean any harm by it. It was just a mistake, the title lost among the honest worry you can see reflected in his eyes. 

“You can’t take care of me if you can’t even walk,”

Your eyes close, a resigned sigh escaping your lips as you reluctantly press deeper into the soft sheets. He’s right. You need to recover so you can continue to aid in his recovery. You can’t do your job if you're bedridden. 

“Just for today,” You settle.

Just for today.

That was your intention anyway. Just stay in the bed, enjoying the small pleasure of the soft mattress against your back, and wait for the pain to dissipate enough for you to be able to resume your nightly rests on the floor in the main room. You didn’t even want to stay in the bed all day. It was a hopeful thought, that you would feel better in just an hour's time, maybe two or three at the most, and then you would feel better enough to be able to get up and return to your duties as normal. But you realize now that the honest hope for that was just willful ignorance on your part. 

You work in a clinic and you’ve dealt with your fair share of back injury patients during your lifetime. You know it’s not something easily overcome or relieved in a matter of hours - sometimes even days or weeks. 

God can perform miracles and you see the blessings He puts in your path each and every day. This, unfortunately, is not one of His miracles. 

The hours blend together - one turning into two, and then two into four, until you can’t take the stillness anymore.

You force it a few times, pushing through the pain and slower than ever making it up and off the bed as you try to go about your day like normal. Being on the bed makes it so much easier to roll off than trying to push yourself up from the floor without the help of gravity. Your back protests as you roll off the edge, Billy echoing its protests with actual words instead of shocks of pain as he tries to urge you back down, but you grit your teeth and slap his hand away.

There’s a small amount of guilt creeping up from how hard you smack his hand, but it's still buried so deep under the agony and the overwhelming frustration of feeling useless that you can’t even stand to give it a second thought. 

Billy watches you as you slowly make your way around the room. It’s not too bad to walk as long as you don’t bend or twist your upper body at all, but it's all becoming much too obvious now how much one takes their movements for granted until they’re face to face with their sudden inability to make even the slightest normal movement. 

The empty bedpan sits on its own short stool in the corner of the room, next to the usual chamberpot. It’s been hours now since either of you have had to use them and even though you still feel fine enough to forego the chamberpot, which… thank the Lord because you’re honestly not sure how you’re meant to position yourself correctly in order to use the pot or even the outhouse for that matter in your current condition - you’re sure Billy is probably ready to use it. 

“Do you need the bedpan?” You ask him, already reaching for it. 

It's another moment of stupidity on your part when you go to reach for it and bend down with your back instead of using your knees. Another dagger of pain shoots up your spine and your hands fly around you to cradle the ache. 

Billy shoots up as the sharp gasp leaves your lips, the bed rustling and creaking underneath him as he tries to push himself up. Your head jerks at the sounds and your shout is echoing through the small room before you can even think about it. 

“Sit down!”

He freezes at your words, big blue eyes wide as he stares at you, the anger and frustration in your command no doubt audible in the way your yell scratches your own throat. 

“Sorry,” You say, softly. “Billy, I’m sorry. Just…” Your eyes shift to where he’s pressing his hand against his side, directly over the wound and the guilt from earlier creeps back full force. 

He’s already moved today. Already possibly hurt himself more by getting out of bed to check on you and then carrying your full weight to the bed. 

You didn’t even check it afterwards. 

“Just stay down,” You continue. “Don’t move.”

Reluctantly, he relaxes back on the bed, just sitting there and watching you when he should be flat down so as to not put extra strain on the wound. You want to tell him that - that he should be resting because he’s injured and injuries can’t heal if he’s just moving about however he pleases. You’ve said it before and he’s listened, but you have a feeling he wouldn’t hesitate to call out your hypocrisy this time. 

“You sit down too,”

His words are soft, the timbre of his voice soothing and gentle but the words themselves are as demanding as they can be. Your eyes flick back up to his and you can see the unspoken threat in them. 

If you keep pushing yourself, I will too.

“Billy, I can’t just sit around all day. I have things to do,”

“What things?”

“Things,” You press. “I have to– clean and make food. And care for you. That’s my job,”

“It’s clean, Sister,” He says, waving his arm around the mostly bare room. “There’s not much you can do. And we can wait for food, I’m not even hungry yet. What else are you tryin’ to do?”

Your eyes close and sigh, praying to God to give you patience because you know that your own stubbornness is as much a strength as it is a hindrance and you can quickly see that the same could be said for your young outlaw charge as well. 

“Do you need to use the bedpan?” You repeat. 

“No,” Billy says, and he sounds just as over the conversation as you feel. “M’fine.”

“Fine,”

He expects you to return to the bed, you can see in those eyes how he thinks it’s a battle he’s won. And perhaps he has, in a way. But you’re still in charge here and you’re not going to let him know that right away. 

You turn on your heel, exiting the bedroom as swiftly as you can bear and Billy’s shout of protest races from the bed and follows you out in the main room. 

“Sister y/n!”

“Hold your horses, Billy,” You call back, raising your hand up as if to wave him off. “I’m just grabbing something.”

Your bag is sitting next to your makeshift bed and you make sure to use your knees this time when you bend down to grab it. You can feel Billy’s gaze burning into your back as you rummage through it and even though there’s only so many supplies you were able to stuff into your bag before you left the clinic, you’re still relieved when you’re able to find what you’re looking for rather quickly.  

Billy eyes the knitting needles and balls of yarn cradled in your arms as you bring them back to the bed. They follow the needles and yarn as you drop them on the mattress and then flick back up to yours, waiting for you to say something.

“Well, if I can’t be useful on my feet, I’m going to at least be productive off them,” You tell him. You raise your eyebrow, daring him to object.

He doesn’t. Instead, he brushes the supplies out of your way and motions to the newly cleared space with an open palm. 

“Then I reckon you should get off those feet, Sister,” He smirks.

It feels almost like giving up as you settle back down on the bed. You know it’s not - you can only do what your body is allowing you to do. Pushing through the pain or discomfort is fine to a point, but only if there is truly a need for it and as much as you don’t want to admit it, Billy is right. There is no need for you to be up on your feet right now and continuing to give in to your stubbornness is doing more harm than good. The Lord has given your body the ability to give you physical clues as to what it needs. You thirst when you need water, hunger when you need food, and get tired when you need rest. It’s speaking to you now - telling you how the current sleeping environment you’ve put it in has not provided it with the rest and comfort it needs to recuperate from the day to day demands and now it's making you. 

Your body is a temple, and you have to respect it and care for its needs. 

But just sitting here still feels like failure. You’ve never been one to just sit around for so long and the past few days of doing just that has made your patience run a bit thin. You are a healer. You help people. Doing anything and everything you can for them in their moments of need and it's in those moments that you receive your strength. You didn’t expect to be running around from room to room here as often as you were while working in the clinic, but not having a choice in the matter is more difficult than you could have imagined. 

The Lord has designed you to be His helper. Your life’s mission is to help people. 

But now you’re finding it hard to even help yourself, and that alone feels like failure. 

You close your eyes and send up a brief prayer, apologizing for your pause in the task that He’s granted you by inadvertently hurting the body He’s blessed you with and asking Him to grant you the strength and patience needed to overcome this hurdle. 

When you open your eyes, Billy’s still staring at you.

“You seem like you got somethin’ weighin’ on your mind, Sister,” He says.

You shake your head, smiling kindly at him. He’s a sweet boy - kind and caring despite the fact that he’s been the victim of some of your frustration today. “Nothing you need burden yourself with, Billy,”

His eyes are earnest as he watches you, leaning in closer as he says, “Nothin’ you do could ever be a burden to me,”

“Oh, is that so?” You say, the corner of your lips tugging mischievously as you grab your knitting needles and a new ball of yarn. You grab the free end of the yarn, pulling the starting length enough to give you enough to work with before tossing the ball at Billy. His hands are quick to grab it despite being unprepared for the throw and another small smile creeps on his face as he holds the soft sphere in his hand. “Then you won’t mind holding that and making sure my yarn doesn’t knot as I work, right?”

“No, Ma’am. Not at all,”

It’s cozy, you have to admit - working in silence as you cast the yarn onto your needles. The yarn is soft as your fingers brush against the developing chunk of project, and Billy must think so too since you can see how his thumb keeps swiping across the ball kept in his hand. He’s a good helper, keeping the working end of the yarn held loosely between his pointer and middle finger, just enough to guide it and prevent any catching or knots. 

You’re making a blanket for the clinic. The rushed packing job almost saw that you had no form of productive entertainment on this trip, but thankfully Sister Ann had enough wits about her to suggest taking your knitting materials. Some of the blankets in the clinic are old and worn, some even well-loved enough to have holes in them. You won’t throw them away. That’s wasteful and you’ll continue to mend them until you can’t. But the clinic can be a sad enough place already, and if you can brighten someone’s day with a blanket that’s not ripped beyond belief and put back together again by the power of God and some well placed stitches, then you’d like to make that happen for them. 

Plus, winter will be coming soon. And things can get mighty cold around here. 

Billy is content to just watch you, eyes fixated on the movements of your hands and the way the yarn is twisted and eased into the blanket. At one point, you ask if Billy wants to knit too. You have a spare set of knitting needles in your bag and you figure that it might be funner for him to knit too instead of just watching you twist yarn over itself for hours on end. You could teach him if his Ma never did. Knitting is a valuable life skill. The ability to create new clothes or household goods from practically nothing is priceless. 

But he shakes his head with a polite ‘no, thank you”. 

“Why not?” You ask. “You don’t want to learn?”

“It’s not that,” He replies, still playing with the yarn ball in his hand. “I’d just rather watch you. It’s calming.”

Calming is an interesting way to describe watching someone knit. It’s calming for you - you enjoy it and it's a nice hobby along with being a practical skill to have under your belt. But watching someone knit? You don’t think you could do that for very long without trying to grab a pair of knitting needles for yourself. 

“My Ma used to knit,” He says after a while. “I used to watch her make us sweaters or scarves for the winter. I used to hold her yarn too. Just like this.” A small smile pulls at his mouth at the memory. “I would respin the yarn for her when the balls would come undone. It was calming, just sittin’ there with her, in her presence, watching her repeat the patterns over and over.”

His fingers slide across the ball a bit, feeling the texture under his fingertips before he pulls a little more yarn from the ball to give your working strand some more slack. 

“This feels like that,” He continues. “Here with you right now makes me feel like I did with her. At peace.”

Your chest clenches at his words and your hand closest to him drops one of the needles before reaching up and resting it on his shoulder. 

“I’m honored,” You tell him. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

His eyes flick down to where your hand is cradling his shoulder before they meet yours again, and you're shocked to see a sort of desperation in them with they lock on yours.

“I always pictured I would do it for my own wife one day,” He whispers. “Supportin’ her while she makes somethin’ beautiful for our kids to wear. Or somethin’ warm for them to snuggle up in.”

“You will,” You say. Your hand moves from his shoulder to cup his cheek before you move to grab the knitting needles again. “The Lord will bless you with someone wonderful, Billy. I know He will.”

You hear him hum next to you, but you keep your eyes forward and focused on your project. You know what that hum means. 

“Don’t think I need the Lord’s help much,” He says. “I think I can manage just fine on my own.”

The blanket quickly comes to life under your fingers, skillful movements manipulating the yarn into a solid and beautifully woven product that you think will look so homely laid out on the beds of the clinic. Sometimes things can get so boring, bland colors and a too sanitary palette can make an already dreary situation all the more woeful. The pretty blue of the blanket would make a nice contrast to all the white and gray. 

Billy watches as you work and keeps the yarn from getting tangled when the balls reach their end and loosen from their coiled form. You only stop a few times throughout the day - once to eat some quickly made oatmeal, once so you can check on Billy’s wound and replace the bandage, and a few times so you could relieve yourselves. By the time the yarn balls you’ve pulled from your bag have been knitted into the blanket, it’s dark out and you have only the small lamp by the bedside table to give you light. 

The blanket rests in your lap, knitting needles still in your hand as you look towards the bedroom door and out to where you can see your sleeping area still set up. 

“You’re sleeping on the bed,” He says, firmly, as if he can read your mind and see the thoughts you haven’t even fully formed yet. 

It’s for the best. You know it’s for the best. The Lord wouldn’t strike you down for doing what you have to do to let yourself heal, even if it means sharing a bed with a man. 

And still… “I shouldn’t,”

“Then I’ll sleep on the floor,” 

He doesn’t wait for you to respond, already sliding a leg over the side of the bed and you’re grabbing hold of his arm before you can think about what you’re doing. 

“No!” You shout, fingers digging hard into his bicep. “You’re injured! You need to stay in the bed.”

He pauses, eyes boring into yours. “You are too,”

“I know,” You say, releasing his arm. Your palm gently rubs over the area you grabbed, trying to soothe any hurt you might have caused when you grabbed him. “I know. I’ll stay.”

He relaxes at your words, lifting his leg back on the bed as he leans back against the pillow. 

“I’ll be respectful,” He whispers and the blue of his eyes shines brightly even in the dim glow of the lamp. “I swear.”

You follow his lead, carefully tossing the knitted blanket on the floor and laying back slowly, being mindful of your back as you rest your head on the balled up blanket you snagged from your sleeping spot the last time you got up to make dinner. 

“I know you will,” 

You haven’t known him for long, but you feel like if there is any man you can trust to be respectful in a situation like this - it’s Billy. 

You can see God in him, even if he can’t see Him within himself. 

But it still feels weird, feels wrong - sleeping next to another man. And you turn your head to the side, away from Billy, so he doesn’t see the silent tears that flow down your cheek and into the fabric where your face presses harder against the blanket.

You pray until you fall asleep. 

There’s a hand on you when you wake up in the middle of the night.

It’s still dark in the room, your groggy eyes opening to pitch black and even though you can’t see anything, you can feel that you’ve flipped over at some point during your sleep. 

It gives your back some relief, being on your stomach like this. And the hand gently rubbing up and down the length of your spine helps to bring even more relief. The hand is big, taking up a wide expanse along your back and the soothing back and forth motion of it helps to keep you in the blissful fog of sleep. 

You find that your back does feel a little better come the morning thanks to the Lord's healing touch.

Taglist: @queenofshinigamis

[witless-winion1]

“The blood on your hands is something you won’t lose,” Zeus scolded. “All you can choose is whose.”

The blood of the child…or the blood of my family…

The presence of the god lingered, before slowly dissipating. The small bolts of lighting and the ominous roll of thunder in the background faded off.

Odysseus looked down at the child. So small, so helpless. To ensure his family’s safety would be only too easy; he wouldn’t even need to draw his sword. He only needed to extend his arms, over the stone wall, and let go, watch him fall-

The infant in his arms stirred. Odysseus’ eyes opened, widened.

The baby cooed, squirming enough to free an arm and reach up to him. He looked so trusting. Odysseus couldn’t help but think back to Telemachus. They looked so similar, the innocent wide eyes and pale skin.

This child was fated to destroy him if he chose mercy. His son, his wife.

Odysseus closed his eyes as he slowly stood up. How could anyone but a monster follow the command of the gods?

How could a monster choose the child of an enemy over his family?

His mind conjured up the image of Penelope. Of Telemachus. He couldn’t put them at risk…

It’s just one life to take. And when I kill him, then our journey’s over.

He drew in a shuddering breath, his arms shaking as he slowly extended his arms out inch by inch over the bloody courtyard, preparing to add more.

“HEY! CAPTAIN!” A familiar, confused voice startled him from the strange, dazed blankness of his mind. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

Odysseus felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over his head as the babe whined, squirming- he pulled it back into his chest before the child could fall from his hands. A light tremble of horror shaking him as he realized what he’d been about to do. He looked slowly over the edge of the wall, seeing a few of his men, done with razing the city and having come to find him. It appeared that Polites had been the one to call to him.

“Nothing!” He called back, wincing asked his voice suffered the worst voice crack he’d had since he was the sixteen and trying to woo Penelope.

His cheeks flamed like Troy when he saw his friends’ eyebrows raise. Eurylochus, standing beside Polites and still holding his massive, bloody sword, cupped a hand around his mouth. “Bring that down here! Let’s see what you got.”

Judging by the expressions on their faces, mostly confusion, they didn’t know what was in his arms, what had been precariously close to being dropped.

He slowly readjusted his hands to hold the child of his enemy closer, turning to make his way off of the wall and join them. “…yes, alright.”

[dipperscavern]

Can i request Robb Stark with reader who doesn’t like the cold/gets cold easily?

absolutely!! thank you sm for the ask <3

ʚ‎‏ ͜ ̩͙ ︵ ̩͙ ୨ ♡ ୧ ̩͙ ‏︵ ̩͙ ͜ ɞ

you’ve always hated the cold. ironic, considering you live in the north, but it’s true. the heat you can handle. sure, it’s annoying, but you can function. but when you’re cold, all you can think about is the last time you were warm.

the only times you’ll brave the cold are to go to the godswood (and pray for warmth), to hunt, and to ride. anything else can either wait until the sun makes its appearance, or can be done inside the warm halls of winterfell. those are your exceptions.

okay, well, when you said hunting — you meant by yourself. maybe theon. you did not mean the entire royal hunting party of winterfell.

your first response was to deny the invitation to the day-long affair of bracing the cold, but you’re the best archer in winterfell. they need you. and ned stark himself asked you to come, so here you were. trudging through the wolfswood, draped in furs & freezing your arse off.

“I can’t believe she’s doin’ it. Look at her..” theon murmurs to robb. robb nods, the corners of his lips tugging up in a smirk as he watches you.

you’re tightly wound, trying to conserve what little warmth you have. you practically radiate dislike, and theons got bets on how long you’ll last until you call upon the old gods to strike the entire forest down (midday). your horse doesn’t carry your disdain for the snow. having been bred for the cold, it dutifully marches on — allowing you to hug yourself tightly, conserving what little warmth you have.

robb’s brows pinch in sympathy knowing your misery, but he can’t help the silent thanks he gives to the gods for dragging you out here. to rectify that, he sends a silent prayer to ask that the stag that was spotted is caught quickly, so you can retreat back to the heated halls of winterfell. he’s not entirely selfish.

apparently the gods are not taking prayers today.

every time the scent is picked up or tracks are spotted, they’re lost just as easily. even greywind isn’t having any luck — but then again, he’s barely the size of a dog. even so, robb can see your resolve withering. he attempts to fix it, draping his outermost layered fur coat over you. you lightly shiver, sighing as you feel the extra layer work to trap more of your warmth.

“I owe you my life.”

“You’ll be alright. ‘S not too bad out ‘ere.”

his attempts at making the cold seem better than it actually is only result in you sending him a glare, and he’s not sure he’s ever seen such hatred. your conversation is interrupted by shouts, and the scent is picked up once more. they’ve spotted the animal running off, and ned orders for people to go around & enclose it.

you’re eager to get it over with and be done, ready to return to the fur blankets in your room. ready to be warm.

you tie your horse, getting off & trudging to where you guess it’ll be forced to go. most of everyone is focused on pushing it in this direction, and you can only hope there’s a weirwood around here to hear your prayers. you hear shouts, the hooves of horses, and something tearing through the trees. you raise your bow, notching an arrow & waiting.

“Atta girl!” ned says, arm wrapped around your shoulders.

the stag lays on the ground, dead, with an arrow in its skull. you offer a polite smile, but really, you’re just thanking the gods it’s done with. there’s snow in your boots, you’re shivering, your knuckles are red, and you can feel the cold in your bones. you saunter over to robb and theon, muttering under your breath.

“Curse the cold. Curse the cold. Curse the cold…”

theon snickers to himself, and you have half a mind to knock him off his horse. you’re feeling merciful, and instead choose peace. you untie your horse, eagerly starting the journey back to winterfell.

thanks to your arrow, everyone eats well that night, including you. the hall is warm, the atmosphere filled with laughter & your belly is full — a right reward for getting frostbite on your liver. you decide to retire to bed early, the days activities having you beat. robb walks you to your chambers, and you lean into his warmth. he’s always run hot, and he’s happy to share the body heat.

you arrive to the door, and turn to robb to say goodnight. you subconsciously chase his warmth, grabbing one of his hands & playing with it, feeling your cooler ones heat up from the contact.

“Y’did good today.”

you shrug. “Wasn’t horrible…” you’re lying. it was. robb knows it too.

he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “Still. Know you hate the cold.”

robb’s hand goes to your jaw, tilting it up as he kisses you. his lips are soft, and warm. he’s caught you off guard, and you can feel him smiling against your lips. once the kiss breaks, you both linger in each others presence. has he ever been so charming?

he’s out to prove you right when he leans in, kissing your temple & murmuring a soft “Night, pretty.”

he turns & walks down the hallway, knowing if he looks back he won’t be sleeping in his room. you watch him leave, and you feel your cheeks heat up as you open your door & step inside.

maybe you’ll have to brave the cold more often.

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 90

Alright. So you might be thinking, pondering, desperately contemplating to yourself a simple question.

“JEM. WHAT THE FUCK??? WHY????” And I hear you, I get it, it’s a lot to take in out of nowhere and that’s the point. Sit with me, peer into the biohazard that is in my brain as I explain to you why in the name of all that’s good I made a fucking Music Video.

So last time on the 100 Days of Junkan, for Day 80 I got very silly and animated a gif of Junko and Mikan kissing. And as I keep saying over and over again, every 10 pics I wanted to go BIGGER. And maybe this is just the brainrot causing all of my mental functions to degrade past the point of no return, but the only way up at this point was in fact a music video.

But surely I couldn’t. I mean, I only have that single gif as experience with animation! How the fuck could I try and put myself through a process that I have absolutely no experience making something as ambitious as a Music Video! I’ll have to do something else. But then.

I had a thought, a small thought, an evil little thought that wormed its way into my head and didn’t leave.

“Okay. But wouldn’t it be really funny if you sent a full Junkan music video to Val without any warning?” That was it. I was beaten, I couldn’t counter that. The sheer comedic shock value of keeping my wonderful oomfie, the one who has helped motivate me through this entire project, who has given amazing responses to all of these pics as I made them, completely in the dark over this, and then finally with no context, or warning, or even a hint, dropping a fucking music video on her lap and running away like I’m pranking someones god damn doorbell. It was too much, even moreso considering I could do the same with ya’ll! 

You! My varied followers, the silent and the vocal, or even better the random fucking people who have been staring in confusion as the Junko and Mikan tag got flooded with art of these two kissing out of nowhere for like three fucking months. I had an opportunity to send everyone into surprise and confusion because why the fuck did I make a god damn music video??? How??? It was too fucking funny to pass up!

This is easily the most fucking bizarre thing I’ve done for the entire event! Did any of you think this was the path this would go down?? Did any of ya’ll see that I made a gif and think “Surely this scrawny white bitch also made a Music Video.” I doubt it! But if you did, my undying respect goes to you!

So here we are. A Music Video. A fucking Music Video, one which I now have to talk about. It took a full fucking page just to get to the point where I actually talk about it and this took me THREE MONTHS TO MAKE, spanning from May 8th to August 1st! 

So here’s what I’m gonna do. First, I’m gonna talk about MAKING this fucking thing, and then when I finish that I’m going to switch over to talking about the actual contents of the music video. This is going to get really messy and will probably go into tangents, but ya’ll have hopefully coped with the knowledge that this is going to be a lot of words by the time you hit the end of this sentence. (Future Jem here! I think this was actually shorter than Day 60) So without further delay-

The Making of Snow Fairy, a Junkan Music Video. Yes. Really.

So the first step of this was obviously, The Music. What song would I use for this? Well initially the plan was to animate something using the song “Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed.” And if that name sounds familiar, yes, it is the song that Val’s fic was named after. Now the idea wasn’t to adapt her fanfic into a music video (or at least it wasn’t the idea for more than 5 minutes). I was simply going to use this song to make a music video depicting a romantic journey with these two. So why not this song?

IT’S LIKE 6 FUCKING MINUTES. Not to jump ahead of myself here but I can’t make it any clearer for ya’ll, that Gif from Day 80??? That was it. That was all I had going into this. I didn’t do any other practice, I didn’t make anything else like that gif. I made that gif, took like two weeks to make Days 81-89, and jumped into a music video. And yes, that’s fucking stupid, but you’ve all learned by this point that I don’t make sensible choices. I draw women kissing, scream, and feel endless euphoria- I got so off topic already, sorry.

Anyway that’s a 6 minute song and I had very little experience, even I knew that wasn’t gonna be viable without driving my head into the wall from stress. And while the idea of me dialing it back sounds unheard of given my track record, I did in fact scale back massively.

So I pondered, and eventually came to a quite frankly obvious answer.

(Sorry I could only find an AI Upscaled version with interpolation)

Snow Fairy, the first opening of Fairy Tail, AKA, my favorite piece of fiction. And Snow Fairy is my favorite anime opening of all time, if not just straight up my favorite song ever. The fact that it wasn’t my first thought is a shock. Though that still brought on some questions.

Firstly. What version? Because yes I actually had options. I could either use the original song in Japanese, or the english cover by LeeandLie. I was close to picking the original version by Funkfist, but there was two issues. One, because it was in another language that means I would have had to taken the time to put in subtitles and keep them properly timed, which would have just been one more thing on an already massive workload. The second reason is also why I went with LeeandLie’s version, I just like the translation for the lyrics a bit more. At least in terms of how well I think it works for a Junkan Music Video. So we had the cover of the song I was gonna use, next question.

Full Song? Or the intro edit? Because the version used in the anime is obviously much shorter, and not just that actually includes the very end of the song pasted to a much earlier part of it. So if I wanted to use the shorter version I would have needed to actively edited the song.

After much thought I chose to ask my friend (and now current girlfriend) Yves to edit the song to match the intro version of Funkfists cover and worked from there. Because even if I would have loved to use the full song, that’s around 3 minutes, which for essentially a beginner sounds like fucking torture.

So I had a song around 1 minute and 28 seconds to work with. Much easier- WRONG. WRONG IT WAS STILL PAINFUL. WHY DID I DO THIS- Anyway.

We had our song! Now we had to make the actual video!

Step 1, I actually made a Storyboard, this is the smartest thing I will do during this entire process.

As you can see from this lil joke doodle I made during the process, I didn’t even start the actual video before I had realized I had made a massive mistake, however I was of course going to persevere. The Storyboard took about, 2? 3 days? This is mostly because I had other work to prioritize, and I had to make sure I got this pretty solid. Here it is!

(The file name for this has the phrase "Why god Why" btw)

As you can see it’s very, very professional. 

You can also see there were a few things cut or changed, and even stuff that wasn’t there in the first place. That’s because even if I was going into this with more of a plan compared to other parts of this, I still really had no idea what I was getting into nor how to do it. The scene of all the girls doing their hair was cut because it just seemed like an awkward space filler to try and mimic the actual Snow Fairy Intro animation. In hindsight I do wish I kept it or found a replacement rather than just extending the following scene. And yeah that scene had to be super extended so I could actually time things properly.

As for the scene at the end, the various art pieces flashing in the background (which I will talk about later) were done because I realized without them I had way too much dead air in the scene. I then took advantage of it to show a montage of time passing in the scene itself, of the things that differed from the storyboard that’s the one I’m happiest with.

Storyboard has passed so now I have to talk about making the video itself, i feel like i’ve said some variation of that sentence like 5 times now.

So do you want a fun fact? THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE ANIMATED! This was supposed to be an Animatic, and even that might not be the right word. This was supposed to be basically a storyboard with hints of motion, say for the intro with Monokuma which I always planned to properly animate given his simplistic design. Everything else was supposed to be much simpler.

And then I kept. Accidentally. TRYING TO ANIMATE IT. I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU EVEN DO THAT BY ACCIDENT! And like sure, none of it really gets as meticulous as the Monokuma, but I still ended up learning way more about animating things properly during this project because I just couldn’t help myself. It was always “Well just one more frame to make it look right. One more frame. Okay just another- Oh no.” This is the depths of hell this ship has dragged me to, and even if I haven’t had a chance to fully make use of what I learned here because I’ve been busy, Junkan somehow made me into a fucking animatory at least to the degree of a hobbyist. IF YOU TOLD ME THAT A FEW YEARS AGO I’D THINK YOU WERE LYING! Because if you asked me before this year about my opinion on animating, I’d tell you something around the lines of-

“God I wish I could, but I just don’t have the patience for that y’know?” I GUESS THAT DOESN’T MATTER WHEN IT'S A NICHE SHIP?? Mind you this was still when I was under the impression I was going to get backlash for all this, I didn’t care but I certainly thought it would come to me. The hold these two have on my brain is downright COMICAL.

And I’m sorry if I sound like this is me complaining at all, because I’m really not, I just get more excitable and whacked out during these more high effort projects. This ship has brought me immense joy on its own, and making this project despite the exhaustive work it took to do so has been so fulfilling in part thanks to being able to see the joy my work has brought all of you. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

But you gotta fucking admit, this isn’t fucking normal right?? None of this is normal! And I don’t mean that in a “We’re all weirdos for liking this” kind of way I mean that in a “What the fuck is going on with me specifically” kind of thing because what is ANY of this?? I re-learned how to write (loosely at least), learned how to actually paint in my program, have developed a deeper understanding of both myself and how to portray expressions, have just generally gotten better at drawing cause of this, memorized these fucking designs almost perfectly (almost, i know there’s some small details of Junko’s design i leave out and Mikan’s apron can be a challenge at times), learned how to animate, LEARNED HOW TO MAKE A MUSIC VIDEO ON ONE GIF OF EXPERIENCE, made angsty shipping art for the first time, and god fucking KNOWS what else that I’m forgetting. And that’s ignoring that by this point we’re edging so much closer to me being able to say “I’ve drawn Junkan 200 fucking times” any god damn day now. 

If this isn’t abnormal human being behaviour, it at the very least has to be really fuckin funny behaviour, right?? Am I just overthinking this?? 

Oh god, right, the main topic. Sorry about that it’s just been eating away at me the sheer absurdity of this project when I really step back and think about it.

Anyway making the vid, I did have a LOT of help from my girlfriend @sunmellows, who actually does have animation experience. She’s more versed in using sprites to animate, but a lot of the techniques could be carried over to what I was doing here. That segment of Mikan and Mukuro running along past a bunch of characters? She helped me so much to get the walk cycles perfect for that.

She also helped me make sure I could actually show this fucking video to people, because fun fact. I made this on an absolute piece of shit laptop! And at first it was relatively fine when I exported projects. But when I got to the point of being actually close to completion? Oh my god not only did it take hours, it just didn’t even work. It would basically KILL my laptops performance to the absolute limit until I would eventually have to force restart the thing. Which thank god didnt’ corrupt the fucking file. So when it came to the final export, I handed off the file to her and she graciously exported it out of clip studio, and then made some minor edits to the timing of the animation in a video editing program.

This is also why, much to my constant irritation, there are still a few animation errors in this because if I fixed them, I’d have to re-export the entire video. And sure, my current laptop is 10 times better and might not try to invent a new form of agony trying to manage it, but also i’m not waiting like 2 or 3 hours for that to happen. No matter how painful it makes rewatching this video. Cause i don’t actually like rewatching this one usually, I’m very proud of it but as I’ve said in the past I am a vicious perfectionist when it comes to my work, so its hard for me to ignore every issue and oddity in the video.

I was fucking losing it by the end of this, I was pulling late nighters for like a week while trying to work on the last few scenes and fix up whatever I could, which was hard because I lacked a convenient way to just watch the whole video in good quality and speed, since playing it in my art program resulted in constant stuttering and made it impossible to tell if it would really look like that, and again, trying to export it made my laptop hate me. But on August 1st I finished it, I had to stay up till 6 AM to do it but I did in fact, fucking do it. I passed it off to Yves, she exported it after some technical difficulties, and now we’re here. 

It was, wild, trying to keep this a secret. And i’m not just talking the 3 months I had to keep it quiet to Val (Though that was difficult but VERY worth it yes), but also keeping it secret up till this point. I don’t even know how many fucking months I’ve had to keep this quiet so none of you would find out about it, I’ve been anxiously waiting to see everyone's reactions to this fucking video, and at the time of writing we’re on like, Day 76. I still have so much more time I need to wait! I’m probably gonna be a nervous wreck the day this actually goes up!

Would I ever do this again? God I fucking hope not! (the answer is yeah someday)

I should actually talk about what’s IN the music video now, shouldn’t I? Will be mildly difficult because that’s probably gonna require a lot of rewatching, and as I already said looking at this music video does make my perfectionist brain scratch bad a bit.

Okay so Monokuma.

So originally the plan for this was for the vid to be a much closer 1-to-1 of the actual opening version of Snow Fairy, and while it did eventually evolve into more of its own thing (both functioning as its own slightly more unique intro for Junkan but also just becoming a more normal music video) the one thing that i always wanted for this was to recreate the first few seconds of the intro but with Monokuma. When this was meant to be significantly less like, animation-y, he was gonna be the only part I went fully into.

It was a real pain in the ass but this guy was basically my crash course on properly animating thanks in part to his simple design. He’s also brought much laughter to my girlfriend! On discord i have this part of the vid saved as a gif, and completely divorced from the context of the music vid it just looks like a silly as gif of Monokuma flying away. Like where the fuck are you going dude??

For the remainder of the first bit I wanted to include Hope’s Peak and Jabberwock island since they’re the most iconic locations in the series, granted, jabberwock feels very irrelevant in a non-despair AU but shhhh. The LOGO! I wish I had the actual thing in my files but I guess I just never thought to save it as it’s own thing. And I’m too scared to open the actual file for the music video to just copy paste it out of there because fun fact, the whole thing is ALL one file. Tip from the Ametuer here, don’t fucking do that.

I’m still really happy that I managed to find the actual font for the Fairy Tail logo to make this with, equally happy that I also managed to sneak in one more reference to Val’s work again! It is once again the tattoo design, because I just can’t help myself y’know?

After that we hit me actually doing this and for a brief moment you get to see it actually be about as slide-showy as I had initially planned on before I decided I was gonna learn how to do a proper run cycle and that took like two fucking days i think. Very proud of it though, Mikan and Mukuro’s little runs were very fun to animate and I like the stupid ass slide I made Mukuro do. I actually wanted to make a stupid animation of her rail grinding using those frames, clearly I didn’t. 

Oh also yeah this style was reused for the cover of the Day 60 Comic, partially because I wanted to retroactively sprinkle bits of this animatic into whatever prior posts I can, partially because i really could not think of an actual cover for that comic. 

So since I was trying desperately to make this seem like the opening to some kind of Junkan Series (and again that concept for the vid dies out real quick) I decided to just include as many other characters as possible during these running scenes. Not only because it would be very fun to draw some of them in this fucked up chibi style I started doing on the fly, but also because then I could insert like three whole ships that I like. We got the Ruruseiko, the Tokomaru, the Ikuzonobuki because hey someone had too.

Fun fact there was supposed to be a little pop up of Mukuro with heart eyes in the corner when Sayaka and Ibuki showed up, but I either scrapped cause I couldn’t make it look right with the limited frames I had, or I accidentally hid all of its layers and couldn’t find it. I can’t remember, this project turning out as well as it did is quite frankly a miracle.

The train scene I don’t really remember why I did like, full linework and shading for that while the rest of the fuckin vid is just sketches. I guess it was fully still animation so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Drawing the very silly little shots of them going by the train was a lot more fun though, I also used it to reference a few more pieces from the past!

The first shot of them with Angie was a reference to the Day 70 Piece, since I always kinda headcanoned (yeah headcanoning my own art, that makes sense) that it was Angie who made it. Then we got Day 82, which at the time of writing this hasn’t been posted! Flashback to whatever day that Karaoke pic with the Ikuzonobuki trio was on for the shot of Junko watching Mikan sing.

And then after that is the Flatwoods monster part, which is the really fun one because I have no idea if I’ll have drawn anything for that by the time this gets released. I really want to though because I love the Flatwoods Monster and I love Junkan, so why not combine them! Alas, I’m working on the December 24th comic as I write this so I might not have time to make that on time. 

Yasuke and Tsumugi! I’ve given my thoughts on them before of course, I think during Day 60? My brain at this point just felt very inclined to include them in this, Yasuke especially.  Even if just as a very small cameo I kinda just associate these two with Junkan? Admittedly it’s mostly because of Val’s fic, I won’t act like that isn’t just the blueprint for everything in the junkan portion of my brain. 

I also used this opportunity to once more make up for the fact that I had drawn so very little kabedon content in this whole project.

After that this probably becomes the cheesiest thing i’ve ever made. The scene of Mikan looking sad was another scene directly based off of the original opening this all based on. After the spin transition I put a little too much effort into was supposed to be a shot of Junko doing Mikan’s hair while Mukuro and Sayaka try to do the same with Ibuki. If I remember the timeline of events I realized I couldn’t make this scene last until the next scene on the storyboard without dragging it out, so I was gonna try adding other little vignettes of antics. However in a rare act of self care I decided to not make this any harder on myself and just scrapped it, skipped to the next storyboard, and extended it out to fit the time. Do I like this in the longrun?? Ehhhhhh, personally I think I shoulda just sucked it up and just added some smaller shots, but miraculously I have people who care about me and would probably prefer it if I didn’t destroy my body for a music video, so I probably made the right choice.

Those outfits look kinda familiar! Whether because I was struggling to think of a new outfit, or because I had just drawn a kabedon, I decided to reuse the outfits from Day 74! Junko’s was a pain in the ass to animate! Never again! Also I colored the Boba to match my pride headcanons for both of them, Mikan being bi and Junko being pan. One kiss and another god damn spin transition i put too much effort into making look good, and we’re at the last scene.

And there’s a mildly fun story for the art used in the background. Like I already said, they were added last minute because the scene would be dead air without them. However I could have done more little clips and vignettes and not fully drawn art pieces. So why did I do fully drawn art pieces?? I was starving, of course. 

You all know my rule that I’m not allowed to draw any Junkan before the current one on the project is finished, correct? Well guess who wasn’t able to draw any normal junkan for like 3 months because I had to focus on making a music video. I can reread a bunch of fics or stare at art forever but the desperate and violent urge to make more and add to the pile so my brain feels nice is insatiable, especially with the rate I was making these previously before the music video began production. 

Sooo, making some last minute assets seemed like a pretty good excuse to finally draw something fresh. And it was a fucking blessing on my brain at this point.

I tried to do a runthrough of their relationship up to this point, flashing back all the way until their first encounter. Was this a thinly veiled excuse to realistically include a halloween pic? Yes. But hey, that last shot was always planned so on some level I have to be justified in my actions. Let’s talk about these pieces one at a time.

First up, hey, that kinda looks familiar. That’s right, assuming the stars aligned and allowed me to gain the strength to draw the December 24th Comic all on time (I’m 17 pages in at the moment send past me your strength, time travel is real if I say it is), then you might notice that I just took the outfits for this winter-y art and featured them in the story! 

So I did in fact draw the Halloween art first and realized I could probably do something vaguely interesting with a timeline of events, so I realized it would probably be best to put the winter art BEFORE October, because I like to dream of a year where I can celebrate Halloween and not freeze to death. It just also happens that it kinda conveniently fits the current time! Since this is releasing in winter! A miracle.

This ones pretty simple obviously, I unfortunately have nothing impressive or interesting to say on the art itself, more just stuff surrounding it.

Now the Halloween Art. Well i also don’t have a lot to say there either but god dammit i’ll sure as hell try!~ 

Listen I wasn’t fully confident that I would have the project done in time for Halloween, and as I’ve probably said before (or at least implied), while I could certainly draw more art on my own time after the 100 days were ready, until this was a public thing and the world was made well aware of my obsession, I couldn’t post it. It is extremely good luck (and also burnout) that I was able to get this done in time to actually post during October, so I did get to draw Halloween Stuff! But when I was making this?? I saw an opportunity to say “fuck it” and draw something spooky with these two, my favorite holiday and (probably) my favorite ship?? Yes please!

As for designing their halloween outfits I sure did fucking wing it! Yeah no thought process, just spooky as fuck. 

Though something interesting about this art that my girlfriend pointed out is that the way I shaded and colored it matches up a lot with my older art. Since I’m not gonna drag through my old gallery to find good examples the best way I can sum it up is that my coloring style back in the day was a lot more candy colored. If that makes sense? More saturated colors I guess? Whenever I look at pieces like those and this I just think of a bowl of colorful candy. 

I miss drawing like that, I don’t know what changed. It’s hard to go back, but maybe i’ll try.

The next shot might seem familiar, but not to any of my other pics, but rather a fic! When writing my Vampire Junkan AU I decided that I wanted to do an Aquarium Date for one of the bigger chapters, because as we all know, Fish and Vampires go together like chocolate and peanut butter. When writing it I was thinking of when I wanted to do the big kiss scene, and this art came to mind! So while it’s not very 1 to 1, I tried my best to recreate it through words.

Why did I draw aquarium art in the first place? I wanted to draw a sunfish . . . I’m a very simpleminded woman in most cases y’know?

The next image was actually even more last minute than the other 3, cause even with those I didn’t have enough to cover the timeframe of the scene. Soooo, Junko giving Mikan a flower.

Maybe this was her confessing? Asking her out? I haven’t thought about it enough. 

And after so long we’re finally back to me just ripping straight from the original opening this is based off of, and in the original its a very sentimental memory for one of the main characters. So pretty early on alongside the Monokuma bit I knew I should have that specific last flashback be their first meeting. I think this is like, my 4th or 5th time depicting a first meeting between these two? It’s always fun to do, and the one in this music vid I think you can tell was decently inspired by Kayleen’s “Smile” Fic, albeit not a direct adaptation and with like, 2% more whimsy. 

And a proposal!! We all crack eventually and there was only so god damn long I could stop myself from depicting one, and what better place than an ill advised music video? Also the gleam of the ring just made for a really good transition out of this and I’m still shocked by how well I was able to make it look. 

And that’s it! I feel like I didn’t talk about this one as much as I thought I would?? Granted I think this is still one of the longer rambles I’ve gone on, but given the jump in scale I thought this’d be a bit more, excessive?? 

I already said earlier but for as, fucking agonizing as this was, I will probably, someday, try to do another animation like this. Hell I’m collaborating with my Girlfriend on a VS Project right now and I’m hoping to at least do small bits of actual animating on it. Which I think I can do??

As for music videos, welllll I do have two in mind, one is Vampire Junkan (though not in the way you think), and the other doesn’t specifically focus on Junkan but it sure will have a Billy Joel song. 

So what’s up next??

Well I’m just gonna say this now, Day 100 does not go higher in scale than this, I won’t say what it is but its like, normal. Day 99 should be fun though! As for 91 through 98? Well! We’ve got 8 days of Fanfics! I didn’t write anything don’t worry. I made 8 pictures based off of 8 fanfics, with only one repeat author! There’s reason for that though you’ll see. There’s some direct adaptations of scenes, covers for the story, and like, something more based off the vibe, it’s hard to describe. You’ll see.

Gonna try my best to sing the praises of the fics themselves though I worry that I won’t be able to adequately sing the praises of these stories to the same degree that I did on Day 60, so hopefully I can at least convince ya’ll to give them a read yourself!~ 

Here’s hopin ya’ll enjoy the results!

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[creedslove]

Can you imagine seeing Joel being absolute psycho killing machine, because someone captured you and he is like WHERE IS SHE?!

Just to see him immediately soften, when he notices you tied up and hurt and he is just so sweet and caring towards you saying "it's ok baby. I'm here I'm here. I'm gonna fucking kill them all." and gently kissing your forehead, before cutting ripe from your hands and legs. ♥️

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: bestie, you had no right to mess up with my hormones like that, now you got me whimpering and crying in need and horny for Joel 😭

• you'd become Joel's girl while you joined him into his journey; he didn't want to let you come along at first, but he had to let you in eventually as you insisted so much

• on one hand, you were just another mouth to feed and another source of worry for him, on the other hand, you were fast and you were able to take down clickers and humans without whining, which was really valuable to him

• and slowly he began warming up to you and you got closer and closer, to that, getting physical was a quick step and the rest was history

• you were his and he was yours; the love and the hunger you felt for each other was huge and intense, and you didn't even know if it was healthy, but you didn't care, there wasn't such a thing as healthy in the world the two of you lived in, but you two were there for each other

• which meant you would kill and destroy anything and anyone in order to keep each other safe

• so when the two of you fell into that ambush, Joel couldn't believe he'd been so naive and stupid, he had done that trick so many times in order to looter but unfortunately it had been a larger group and they ended up knocking him out and taking you

• when he woke up, you were gone and Joel panicked, he knew damn well what a bunch of those animals would want to do with a beautiful girl like you

• so he immediately followed your tracks in order to find you, racing against the clock in order to save you

• and by following your tracks, Joel meant killing anyone he'd seen in sight, anyone he could get information from

• you were tied up, your head was killing you and you could feel your own blood dripping down your forehead, but at least they hadn't done anything worse to you... Yet

• you looked around, so anxious and nervous, your heart filled with fear of not seeing Joel anymore at the same time you were also filled with hope he would show up and rescue you, because he always did

• so the moment you began hearing screaming and gunfire, you felt your Joel was coming to the rescue

• he might not be a prince charming, but he was way better than that, he was your man, and you were his girl and no one could ever get between the two of you

• so it didn't take long for him to barge in, splattered in blood, gun in hands and killing anyone in sight

• he was furious, he was merciless but the moment he spotted you, he went soft

• you looked reasonably alright but he went so soft for you, god it was even dangerous how much he loved it, it drove him mad, he didn't even know he could love someone like he loved you

• when he saw the room was empty, with the exception of the two of you, he took off his jacket, wrapping around your body

"it's okay baby, I'm here. I'm here. I'm gonna kill them all"

• he whispered into your ear, pecking your forehead and cutting the ropes that kept you trapped

• he lifted you up easily and walked out of that place, making sure you were safe and warm into his arms

• he loved you and he would always make sure you were safe because you were his and no one would ever change that

____