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Fluent Freshman - Part 36
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The Smiths had been a happy family.
A happy couple and three happy healthy children. Their first born son 2 years into a blissful marriage, a second born son 4 years in and the third, a first born daughter 7 years in.
They spent most holidays with his Mother’s large rambunctious family but his grandma on his father’s side and her mother were always invited to any family event.
“The more the merrier.” He had heard more than one aunt or uncle say. “We know that Gavin is an only child, we don’t want to leave you alone.” They would say to his Gran. Cousins playing, laughing, rough housing, and screaming. Family friends with their own kids stopping in. The adults who could cook cranking food out happy to feed people.
The more the merrier is something FF believed with all his heart.
FF loved being an older brother.
He loved them from the moment he knew they existed. Had wanted to meet them instantly. Waiting to meet Jay and then Robin had been the longest time of his life. Meeting both of them were two of the happiest moments in FF’s entire life.
Robin had loved to reach up and pinch at his face.
Nose, ears, or even cheeks his little sister had loved to clamp her fingers around it. He used to talk when she’d do it on his nose, purposefully sounding more nasally as he talked to her as she giggled wildly. It was her favorite game in the entire world and FF had always been willing to play it with her.
Jay fell asleep against his shoulders without fail on every single car ride.
Slight weight, drool, and tiny hands that always wanted to hold his arm like a pillow. He was getting big had denied that he did that with pure horror every time FF would ask him if he was going to take a nap. Yet FF very rarely made it to a far off destination without a little bit of drool on an outfit. FF had never cared, trying not to laugh too hard with Robin as she giggled so that he wouldn’t dislodge Jay.
His gran would pinch his cheek and tell him how good he was.
A good older brother.
The happy couple wanted more kids. Wanted a bigger and bigger family. His mom wanted what she knew, his dad wanted what he never had, FF wanted more siblings.
He always felt like he had gotten his wish, but only in the worst way he could have.
His mom and dad were fighting. They were driving home from the supermarket; he vaguely remembers that. He doesn’t remember what started the fight but he remembers how Jay and Robin moved in close to him. She was pointing at him and FF doesn’t remember what she said but he remembers her hands reaching and then-
His face hurt, his ear hurt, he looked over and Jay was asleep just like he always was but he doesn’t look right. He looks and Robin is there reaching for him but she can’t reach him. “I’m scared.” She had said his name, pleading and terrified. Her face was bruised, cut, and she had a burn that looked painful.
He lied to her.
He didn’t know it at the time, but he did.
He reached out and he couldn’t touch her face, but he held her tiny hand in his own, looked her in the eyes, and lied.
“It’s going to be okay; I promise.”
Then he woke up and that hand wasn’t the one in his anymore. The world is muted but somehow his grandma’s red eyes and pale skin stand out to him. He asks what happened and she tells him.
Things don’t get better.
His mom swears his dad tried to kill them all that he swerved so they’d all die together. He can’t corroborate that story; he just remembers her hand reaching and-
How do you ask your mom if she tried to kill you?
She must see the question in his eyes regardless. Must figure that if he can’t feel anything, can’t cry, can’t emote, can’t go and lay between his sibling’s graves in the middle of the night then maybe he’ll never ask the question and she’ll never have to answer.
He learned to live not knowing and maybe his mom learned that he was a coward.
His mom’s family don’t treat him the same. He won’t denounce his father and they look at him with pity and Daniel whispers poison into his cousins’ ears until they act like he killed Robin and Jay personally.
He can’t react.
Can’t plead with his cousins to understand.
Daniel would spin it and FF would find himself on the meds again. So, he got good at pretending. He got good at faking. He got good at everything that was needed to pretend like he didn’t have a care.
Then Coach Wymack and Captain Dan Wilds were there.
He’d been getting better.
Now Daniel was here.
Nicky tucked him into bed and he tried to sleep. Even feigned it well enough for Nicky to leave and to get startled by the shouting that shortly followed.
Daniel was going to stay.
Daniel was going to try to be on the same team.
Daniel was smart, strong, and very athletic.
Daniel was going to be on the same team.
He hears when Abby and his Gran come back, and someone must have mentioned that Daniel was there to his Grandma because she comes in and tells him that it will be okay. He puts on a brave face for her, and she kisses his cheek.
He lays there in bed and stares at the ceiling feel flushed and hot with anxiety.
He gets up and walks to the fridge and finds himself frozen there.
“Smith,” Bee’s voice rings in his ears as he had tried to keep pushing everything down. “Smith, there is only so much you can bottle up and repress.” She reached out and held his hand comfortingly because touch always made him feel like he was on earth.
“What am I supposed to do with it?” he had asked, ashamed.
“Smith, you’ll have to process it. Feel what you repressed and then after you’ve felt it maybe you can let it go.” Bee had said.
He had avoided taking her advice so far, it hadn’t felt safe, and it had been too much, too scary.
Nicky’s face comes into his vision, “Smithy?” he asks and there is concern that FF hadn’t felt worthy of. “C’mon bud. Let’s get you under the covers.” His friend says.
They get to the guest room and FF crumbles. His face in Nicky’s shoulder and when Nicky asks if he can hold him while he sleeps FF nods and holds on as tight as he can. Nicky’s hand finds his back, “It’s okay Smithy, I’m right here. We won’t let that asshole mess with you. You’re safe.” Nicky had promised and-
and it’s enough.
He relaxes against Nicky and he feels safe.
So, he decides to process it.
“Dig in!” Abby said not bothering with grace. It was good. FF still missed his grandma’s cooking. It was nice to have this loud Thanksgiving like he used to get but there was something special about helping his grandma in the kitchen and the two of them sitting down to eat. He missed events with his mom’s family. Loud and boisterous and his Gran welcomed and loved by everyone there. It was special to have his time with his grandma, but he wishes it could be with his cousins and his siblings still.
It’s okay to be nostalgic.
He lets himself process it.
Captain Neil was up front and had started to play some music. Nicky and Aaron were conked out before they had even reached the entrance to the interstate. They had also slumped onto FF with Aaron asleep on his shoulder as Nicky drooled into his hair. “You can just shove them off.” Andrew said. “It’s fine.” FF said and had reminisced about the last time he’d had something like this. How maybe Jay would be this big, would he be tall like Nicky or shorter like Aaron? Would Robin be big? Would she still want to squeeze his nose and ask him to talk?
It wasn’t a bad thought, just one that hurt to consider.
He lets himself process it.
Aaron looked at him with a twisted mouth for a while before he relented, “Fine they’re not that bad. It’s a big brother thing.” Aaron rolled his eyes. FF swallowed down some acid in his throat and had pushed the smiling eggs and bacon over to Aaron who smiled back at the breakfast and proceeded to eat it. A big brother thing. FF used to be one of those but, unlike Aaron, he hadn’t managed to protect his siblings. Aaron was a good big brother and FF only had the memory of being one.
It hurt and maybe it wasn’t just his great grandma he had reached out to when he had baked those brownies. They had always always been Jay’s favorite.
Two kids hadn’t moved as the rest of the world continued to. He watched as they clung to one another, and no one seemed to take notice of them. He didn’t understand how anyone could mess them with the bright orange children’s jerseys they had on. One sporting 01 – Josten and the other 10 – Josten on the backs. He had said something to Nicky and then he was squatted down in front of them. A big brother and a little sister with a burn. He’s glad to see them off safely. Glad they’re safe and that Millie is smiling at him like he hung the stars because he got her an autograph from Captain Neil. Glad to watch Brandon be lifted up by his father. He hopes they get home safe.
They didn’t even look that much like Jay and Robin but it had made him happy.
There were other moments, small moments that had hurt that he bottled up but those didn’t take much time to process though.
He finishes processing and lets himself come back to the present.
Something tastes good in his mouth.
“…put the knife away!!” he hears Nicky yelling and looks up to find that Nicky is hiding behind Matt Boyd in Abby’s backyard.
“Just tell me where my car is Nicholas!” Andrew says advancing on Nicky with a knife drawn.
“Can we not do this with me in the middle?” Matt pleads.
“He won’t stab you so you’re the safest thing to hide behind!” Nicky exclaims.
“Where. Is. My. Car?” Andrew hisses.
“Look, I’m just saying that until that asshole is off the campus….maybe it’s for the best that you don’t have access to your car?” Nicky asks pleadingly.
“What the fuck is he drinking?!” He turns as he hears Kevin nearby.
“Milkshake, it’s fine. Doesn’t Smiths deserve something that is not one of your dogshit smoothies?” Aaron asks and he’s standing between Kevin and FF. He sees one of Kevin’s smoothies in the starting striker’s hands.
“It’s not fine!” Kevin hisses. “I didn’t approve of it!” he flails one arm.
“Kevin, you’re not actually his doctor.” Captain Neil says, “Andrew, maybe put the knife away before people call the cops on you?” Captain Neil asks pleadingly.
“I’ll put it away once Nicky tells me where he put my car.” Andrew demands.
“We just barely avoided you going to jail a couple weeks ago Andrew. I just don’t want you to do something that would result in you being there on vehicular manslaughter charges!” Nicky pled from behind Matt.
“I wouldn’t crash the Maserati just to kill him.” Andrew is facing towards them, and FF can see him roll his eyes.
“I think they’re more worried that you’ll just run him over if you see him dude.” Matt says.
FF realizes belatedly that he’s sucking on a straw to an empty milkshake only when a wrinkled hand takes it from him and puts a hot drink in his hands instead. He looks and sees his grandma smiling at him.
He looks down and-
Oh, hot chocolate. This is nice.
He takes a sip.
Oh, his grandma’s hot chocolate.
Delightful.
He watches as his Grandma makes her way towards where Andrew and Nicky were continuing to run around a resigned looking Matt.
Andrew is stopped as his Grandma hands him a cup of hot chocolate filled to the brim with marshmallows. He blinks at the offering but takes it stopping his hot pursuit of Nicky.
“Jesteś moim ulubieńcem” she says. (“You’re my favorite now.”)
Nicky makes a noise like he’s dying. “Aras!” he cries dramatically.
“Got something to say about the drink from his Gran?” Aaron asks.
“No…” Kevin says petulantly. “…but he should leave room. I formulated a new healthier smoothie that tastes good.” Kevin says holding up his smoothie.
“Doesn’t taste like ass is more accurate.” Matt says walking over now that Nicky was immobilized by his despair and Andrew was enjoying hot chocolate. “Sorry Smithster, we’re still working on getting it up to ‘tastes good’.” He says apologetically clapping FF on the shoulder.
“Fat chance of that with Kevin’s sensibilities with flavor.” Aaron says rolling his eyes. “More accurate to say lack of sensibility.” He adds after a second.
“Don’t be rude, you ran off without even warning me.” Matt points at Aaron.
"You ran off?!" Kevin demands.
FF can’t help it.
He laughs.
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
#Fluent Freshman AU#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#FF - 36#Wop wop it's late#That Tornado really threw everything off with my timing#I would also like to thank ca-van for helping me on the Polish for this chap#If you're wondering#Yes Aaron was in on the car removal#but has no idea where Nicky put it#Hence why Andrew wasn't chasing his brother around#Matt tried to step in to help#But just became the beautiful tree that Andrew and Nicky were running around#GS heard Andrew was interested in possibly killing Daniel with his car#he has now become a favorite#She makes hot chocolate for the rest too but Andrew gets the extra marshmallows#Andreil#AFTG
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look at my son🥹
#yes i restarted da2. yes im playing with the same oc. yes im doing nearly everything differently.#ive actually been thinking of aldens personality bc i dont think straight diplomatic is cutting it#for now im thinking. loud and brash and intimidating when with people he doesnt trust#and then immediately shuts up and is just quiet with people he does trust#i am giving all of my ocs eldest daughter syndrome and nobody can stop me !!!!!#all of them literally have the same problems lmaooo its getting so repetitive idk if it shows but IM getting insecure over it like#really girl. anyways look at my boy!!!!! he puts on a show nearly 24/7 espefially after he becomes champion. oof.#thats why he needs varric. they can be silent together <3 lol#male hawke#hawke oc#also can yall properly see him the pictures seem very dark what the hell#nett rambles#nett plays da#oc: alden hawke#alden x varric#AND YES THATS CARVER THERE........ MY SON. MY BABY.
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apparently one of my cousins was just accepted into a master's writing program at an Ivy League school
and that's why I almost never go on Facebook 🙃
#look. do I even think I could handle a master's in writing at an Ivy League?#.....I mean. I think so. I managed a master's in geoscience at one of the top geology schools in the nation.#(....''managed'' is doing some VERY heavy lifting there lnjasdknf)#but do I want to do that? no.#do I still feel weird and like I'm wasting my life and everyone else is more accomplished than me? yes.#it does help a bit that the cousin in question has outright told me her success is in large part from her father pushing her v hard#(he did the same thing to her siblings)#and that she kinda fucking hates how she was pushed to succeed so much#like I don't wish that on anyone but it does help me to put into context her success. it comes at a cost. like everything else.#and to be frank it's not a cost I'm willing to pay at this point in my life.#I still feel weird and uhhhhh incompetent I guess would be the best word tho#also like I'm wondering why she's going to an Ivy League when she's already at one of the top writing schools#maybe distance from her family....in which case. godspeed cuz.#ANYWAYS I have a v accomplished family that I at times feel inferior to despite my own accomplishments#and no that has no influence on my OC Angie's own similar feelings why would you think that#(my family would be upset if they knew I felt inferior btw no one makes me feel bad other than my own brain)#(I have a v loving and supportive family and am v blessed to have them~)#whine whine whine
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New and improved lab & programming assistant Occult 2.0
Added: Face plate screen with capability to emote and show warning symbols as it sees fit. Chest screen for simple info. Upgraded limbs.
I liked my previous recks!Occult but I had a couple of things I wanted to improve on. Recks au by @wasyago
Existing features:
Built-in self-learning search-engine software with priotitising for results related to computer science. It can change prioritising for each individual search, but base function is for lab and programming.
Hands great at handling small computer parts. With upgraded limbs it has now slightly better mobility for doing so.
Can attach various plugs to tail as needed.
small - Technically pocket size if you have a big enough pocket.
Not reliant on internet connection to work as an assistant, but does better with it. Will fix the internet connection error themself if possible. Can also do basic tasks like managing texts & emails, playing music, and more. There's a built in speaker in the back - but for music it's reccommended it connects to a speaker system.
The AI have a tendency to be chaotic/playful. It also likes to retain and tell facts that may or may not be useful.
#recks au#recks oc#occultvettr#my main issue with my previous once was that I just put it in a hoodie#now it has a casing that just looks like a hoodie - hope ppl can see that by the colors and segments#also figured out how to draw the legs connecting to the torso in a not-weird way - probably why I did the long hoodie in the first place#the face was a fun update - even tho the old one was fun in that it looked kinda menacing#I drew this in april but wanted to draw more before posting#but figured might as well - now that I'm an official IT guy and everything lol#also it's sitting on like a wireless charger dock or something? idk if that reads but it's not important#i'm not creative with futuristic tech so standard symbols and plugs be upon ye#I kept looking at like 1/6 bjd dolls to make sure Occult's “canon” height works for the recks version and I'm still not sure lol#sona art
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Had this vision in my head, had to draw it. Idk what the context is but here's another teen Zephyr drawing but this time one of my ocs is there too
#I imagine this would be like if the 'we have to dress formal to sneak into this fancy event for a mission' trope was fantasy viking-ified#(yes I know rtte sorta already did that in last auction hero leave me alone)#my posts#my art#Zephyr doesn't know how to sit it dresses. Gay MF doesn't know how to sit outside of dresses. Girl can't sit.#RJ (the OC) is the definition of 'cleans up well'#I did mess up on RJ's hair I put her bangs in the wrong side but y'all wouldn't know that so idk why I'm saying it#Zephyr doesn't clean up well she doesn't even know what that means. She dragged that skirt through the mud.#Putting zeph in all green felt like a betrayal to my color system I accidentally put in place for the main five.#Zephyr's red. Nuffink is blue. Spike is green Eric is orange and RJ is purple. (Madder is yellow but she's sorta a later addition#to the team. Also Hatchet and Spade are neutrals)#Hmm out of all of these characters I've only drawn Hatchet and Spade's dragon. That hideous zippleback I drew a while ago you know#Anyway I'm done rambling#Have a nice night#dragon riders second generation#<btw that's the tag I'm using for all of my teen zephyr and her friends stuff so if it's annoying then there's the tag to block#And if you want more. Well. There's the tag to search on my blog. I've put everything there.#Ugh I hate how embarrassed I get everytime I talk about these guys. 'oh it's so cringe-' bitch shut up#I'll look at other people's httyd OCs and go 'oooh cool I love that' but then the second I go to post mine I'm like 'ugh cringe-'#Cringe culture is dead post the damn drawing write the damn fic.#Honestly at this point I treat Zephyr like an OC. Dreamworks lost their rights to her she's mine now /hj#Like I used the personality Dreamworks gave her as like a baseline and then made her (and Nuffink) better#And I gave them friends.
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Okay, wait, I'm gonna ramble bout some of my Unknowns cuz my brain needs a refresher and what better way to do that but talk bout my OCs! (That isn't Ray cuz he's in timeout for making me read through an article that gave me confusion damage).
Right I was supposed to talk bout Memoria a bit more and so I finally shall. The other way to write their name is actually like this Memo/ria, cuz well... there's two of em. 2 people in 1 body, a 2 in 1 if you will. And they're aware of that! Which why they decided to share the Memoria name, one is called Memo while the other is Ria.
Okay, so like, I have a proper and more organized info bout their story but it's in my phone (that's still broken aha so I can't get it). I'm gonna give the summary of what I can remember from that.
Memo/ria's physical appearance is that of a 11 year old child with wings too big for their small body but they can change the length luckily! It mostly appears like a long cape, the feathers are different colours arranged in a way that shows an image much like stained glass art. The image changes rather frequently with the wings sometimes getting longer.
That's because of their power. Memo/ria's power involves the memory and an indestructible shield. For the memory portion, they can take or copy a person's memory and turn it into a feather to add on their wings. For the shield part, they can create a barrier that cannot be easily broken.
That's the gist of their powers! But wait... There's more! The specifics! Right after being turned into an Unknown, they escaped the lab and saw an abandoned church at a mountain and decided to make that their home due to some distant nostalgia (they used to go to church with their parents back then). It's also where their powers fully developed.
Basically, there's 3 versions of em but none of those versions knows bout the others so they don't know that there's 3 of em. A traveler found out bout it and decided to give titles to each one!
Remembrance, Exuberance, and Perdition. Each one are different in the way they act, where they're located and how they use their powers.
Memo/ria of Remembrance can be found at the 2nd floor of the church, they're cautious and skittish like a deer who quickly runs from a slight noise. They're docile and hard to befriend. Despite that though the memories they like to copy are happy moments, making their feather colours bright and warm.
Memo/ria of Exuberance can be found at the ground floor, they're cheerful and friendly, often the first one anyone passing by the church can see. The memories they like to copy are sad or melancholic moments, they'll even take those memories if the other person asks them to. It makes their feather colours dull and cold but they cherish and care for it greatly.
Memo/ria of Perdition can be found behind the church, at the graveyard. You do not want to meet them. They're the deadly one, those who meets them often goes missing. Although they are "safe" to be around with at the graveyard, as long as you're there to pay respects to those buried. They can't be "befriended" (very very picky) but they can tolerate you long enough to not want you sealed away. That's how they use their powers, it isn't memories they're taking, but the people. They seal away people on their feathers making it a mixture of warm and cold colours.
Also forgot to mention, in terms of strength, Unknowns are considered as strong or stronger than Celestials. So yeah, these guys are strong and can't easily be killed (For Memo/ria, if you try to kill any of the 3, they'll come back alive again with Perdition angrier than before). The only way to truly kill an Unknown is by their weakness.
#aria rants#ariaoc#i was supposed to talk bout others here too but memoria made it longer than i had hoped it to be whoops#also also putting some info in the tags cuz ion wanna make it tooo long and cuz its enough for tags to contain#memoria were twins when they were human! girl and boy called judith and charlemagne#they were meant to be turned into an unknown separately but stuff happened and now theyre in one body#judith was the one with the shield portion of their powers and was meant to be called aegis#charlemagne was the only one supposed to be called memoria#also theyre 11 physically and mentally and yes i feel a lil bad... they were just kids man#the reason why theres 3 vers of em is cuz those are fragments of the stages in life they had#exuberance for when everything was okay and happy#remembrance for when everything went to shit which is why they're very nervous#in their world. a war broke out at their country and to keep them safe. their parents entrusted them to a close friend#well what a shitty close friend cuz that same person was the one that gave em to the scientists.#perdition for when everything kept going worse and they are seething inside which is why perdition is the deadly one#cuz theyre built on anger and pain and rage#but theyre still a kid regardless of that#and all they ever want is to be loved and cared for and be safe again and a parent to return to and--#im making myself sad at my own ocs' lore goddammit
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warm as you
pairing : Jungkook x reader
genre : established relationship, boyfriend jungkook yayyy.
summary : Jungkook gives you a little surprise which causes you to fall more in love with him.
warnings : Jungkook is nervous as hell, he's so in love with the oc, oc can't help but baby him, slight smut, fluff, lots of kissing <3, act of service and quality time as love languages.
a/n : hey angels, I saw the latest episode of "are you sure?!" and couldn't help but write this little piece. Jungkook is such a roundie. I hope you enjoy and let me know how you like it. xoxo.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
To be very honest, you've never been a morning person but when you're with the love of your life, your boyfriend, you can't help but eagerly wait to sleep next to him and wakeup next to him. He has a way of waking you up with kisses on your smooth skin and fingers through your brown locks.
Your eyes want to flutter open but you know once you're awake, he will stop and that's something you don't want. Jungkook's lips graze yours lightly causing you to break into a slight smile. His lips peck your forehead gently following with your cheekbones, your closed eyes, your nose, your chin and lastly the hollow of your neck.
"I love you, sweetie. Good morning, i know you're awake." he whispers and much to your surprise, he knows you've been pretending to sleep.
you chuckle and open your eyes, looking at him with so much love. His eyes sparkle like stars above you. No one has loved you like this and honestly, you don't want anybody else to do so. The bond that you share with your boyfriend is different and special.
"Morning"
He caresses your left cheekbone, a lazy smile on his face. It's soft and everything pure.
"What do you wanna do today?" you ask him.
"Is wanting to be in your arms an option?" he nuzzles his face in your boobs. Purring like a cat.
"I don't think that's a bad idea" your hands rub his back up and down, up and down.
"God, I love hugging you. You're so warm, so cozy. It's my own personal heaven" Jungkook puts his whole weight on you, being careful now to crush you in the process.
He makes you feel safe, protected whenever he wraps his arms around you. Being physically affectionate has not been hard for you when it came to him. Physical touch, as much as you hate to admit, is hard for you to receive. You've been uncomfortable with people touching you plenty of times but with Jungkook, it has never been the case. You don't know why but he's had a certain warmth to him ever since you met him. It radiates and lights you up.
"I know, baby. I love hugging you too."
You both stay like this for a while before he grunts and lifts his face from your neck.
"Want me to make you some coffee?" he asks because he knows you can't function throughout your whole day without starting it off with a cup of coffee.
One thing about Jungkook is he's going to notice. He notices the tiniest of things and he's made a mental note of making you coffee every morning just the way you like it.
"Yes, please. I want something sweet to go with it too."
"Pancakes?"
"Perfect. You're the best" you kiss his cheek twice before he gets himself up and walk outside towards the kitchen. Before he opens the door, you call him out.
"Yeah, sweetie?" he looks back, shirtless and you try not to say something entirely different and nasty.
"I love you, too" his lips turn upwards before he leaves the room.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
After you and Jungkook finish your breakfast, he suggests reading together in the hall. Since it's a slow Sunday morning and you both have nothing else to do, you agree. Quality time with him is another thing you cherish the most. He knows that when it comes to receiving, it's one of your preferred love languages.
Since the day you let him know this tiny piece of information, he has tried his best to make it happen for you. Reading, baking, pottery classes, trying out new recipes, even letting you do his makeup, he has done it all.
"What are you reading?" Jungkook asks after picking up a book for himself and sitting beside you on the couch.
"I have been wanting to read this romance book for a while. You're reading thriller again?"
"You know it's my favorite" indeed it is. The thriller section on the bookshelf gives it away.
For the next twenty minutes or so, you both read quietly. Jungkook eventually puts his head on your lap demanding your hands in his hair. You chuckle lightly before giving in and run your fingers through it.
"Your hairs are so soft"
When you look down upon him, he has closed his eyes and gotten rid of the book.
"It's your shampoo"
"My shampoo? You've been using my shampoo?" you're a little surprised but not offended. On the contrary, you find it a little cute.
"Sweetie, it smells like vanilla and I was planning on using it just once but then I got a little obsessed. Couldn't help it." he whines.
"You're adorable, you know that?"
the hall gets filled with your laughter. You continue running your fingers through his hair while also reading your book and just when you think he has gone into a deep slumber, he gets up walking towards the washroom.
"Wh- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" you yell behind him.
"GIVE ME A MINUTE" he yells back. He didn't go in there to jerk off, did he? you decide to leave him be and resume your reading.
Fifteen minutes later though when he comes outside and stands before you, you let out the biggest scream ever. It startles him.
"Is it that bad?"
"Jungkoo-", "what-", "I'm-"
He stands there with his long hair no more on his head, instead he has cut his hair in more of like a bowl cut. Yes, you screamed but not because you don't like his hair, it was because he looks cuter than ever like this. You were just a little surprised, that's about it.
"Seriously, is it that bad?" the nervous look on his face causes you to take few steps forward and hug him so tightly you're not sure if he can even breathe. His arms wrap around you in return. Hugging you has always calmed him.
"I love it"
"What was that, sweetie?"
"I said, I love it" you tell him again. You break the hug and look at him.
"Really?" his expression has turned into a an excited one now.
"Yes, baby. It makes you look so cute but can I ask why? why did you suddenly decide to cut your hair?" you can't help but touch his new hair.
"To be honest, I have been thinking about chopping them off for a while. I know you love my long hair so it was holding me back." he places a kiss on your temple. "I wasn't sure if you would like it."
"Jungkook, I loved your long hair but I wouldn't ever stop you from doing what you want. I love everything you love and you can always grow them back, right?" you smile up at him.
You loved his long hair a little too much. You had asked him to let his hair grow further and he had happily agreed to but you would rather poke your eyeballs out before you refrain him from doing something he has wanted to for a long time. You're just a little upset due to the fact that he even had to be nervous before doing so.
Jungkook nods, "Right. So you like them?"
"Absolutely" you kiss his nose.
"God, I could eat you right now." He hides his face in the crook of your neck and groans.
"Hmm, maybe later".
Later that night when you lay next to him he doesn't let you sleep before he buries his tongue inside you and asks you to grab his hair. When you do, you get reminded of his long hair but his tongue moving in a circular motion inside you makes you forget about it all. You moan, you scream and when he takes your nipples in his mouth while pushing two fingers inside you, you come so hard you're sure you see stars. You hear him whisper "You're mine" before you pass out hoping he'll wake you up the next morning again with his kisses and touches.
#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#bts#jungkook scenario#jungkook smut#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x you#bts x reader#jungkook imagine#bts scenario#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts smut#bts jungkook
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what would happen if simp fwb haechan saw oc kissing at a party or something
mdni. nsfw 18+
pairing: fwb!lee haechan x reader
warnings: unprotected sex, creampies
“hey siri what’s the fastest, easiest, most painless way to die?”
he would see you making out with jaehyun at a party, sitting on his lap and grinding on his dick and all, and seriously would contemplate murder-suicide for a good sec. like why does that slick motherfucker jaehyun always get all the bitches? you’re literally his and everyone knows how down bad haechan is for you, so why would jaehyun even dare to put his grimy hands on you? he wouldn’t even confront you guys at first, he would just start drinking vodka straight from a bottle he found lying around.
texting mark and be like “just caught y/n cheating on me”
mark: “are y’all even dating”
haechan: “yes”
mark: “?when?”
haechan: “…okay actually no but-“
mark would later find his wasted ass on the balcony about to jump and have hold him back. he’d call you like “y/n come get this loser”. and you would hear haechan yelling in the back like “SHE’S FOR THE STREETS”
you’d stomp up stairs to collect him, finding him drunk and wasted out of his mind.
“no! leave me alone, you cheater! go back to sucking faces with that manwhore i don’t even care,” he whines and pouts, kicking and squirming around in your arms as you carried his ass to a random bed.
“stop being a brat, hyuck. you need to calm down. i’m missing out on good dick because of you,” you’d roll your eyes at your best friend’s childish antics.
haechan would look up into your eyes, his face red from all the drinking and lips jutted out from pouting so hard. “baby, you know you’re mine. why do you need to go to anyone else for dick when you have me in your back pocket?” fat tears would well up into his eyes as his lips quivered.
your face softened as you gave him a crushing hug. “don’t cry, hyuck. m sorry; i didn’t know you saw. but we’re not exclusive, yknow?”
he buried his face into your neck, deeply inhaling your sweet your sweet smell. you could feel a few tears on your skin. “don’t remind me.”
you stayed in that position for a good while, as haechan sniffled and sniffed against your neck. he was quiet for a bit, which made you think he fell asleep, when all of a sudden he pinned you down on the bed before you knew what was going on. he pressed his body against yours, using his weight to hold you down, and grabbed both of your hands and held them above your head. he used his thigh to rub and grind against your already throbbing pussy.
“m tired of this. m tired of you playing with my feelings like this. sucking face with one of my guy friends, rubbing it in that you’re not my girlfriend yet. the reality is: you’re fucking mine. mine. my girl. everything about you is mine and it’s been this way since we met when we were kids and you were the sweetest girl on the playground.” he whispered lowly into your ear and licked your earlobe as he did this. he reached one of his hands down into your pants and started playing with and teasing your little pussy.
you whined and bucked against his hand. “hyuck”
he took his hand out and slapped your pussy. “ah. let me finish, slut. you’re fucking mine and i’m gonna prove it to you. no one will ever make you feel like i do. you drive me crazy and i’m so obsessed with you. i love you, baby. i have always loved you and i will prove how much i love you and this pussy.”
your poor pussy was so sore and bruised the next day you couldn’t even walk or sit right. and he refused to wear a condom and finished inside you multiple times that night. oh yeah, and you guys came out as official the next day.
#nct dream smut#nct dream x reader#nct smut#nct x reader#nct dream#lee haechan x reader#lee haechan#haechan x reader#haechan smut#haechan
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PROHIBITED | Aemond Targaryen x fem!oc
Summary: After long time, Aemond see again her favorite niece, Rhaenyra and Daemon s'daughter. The prince observe her for all the dinner, after a conversation, in the middle of the night he use the secret passages of the Reed Keep and go in her chambers, finding her brushing her long hair. She is very beautiful, smart and provocative toward her favorite uncle, the princess always had a certain thing for him.
TW: 18+, MINORS DNI, She/Her pronouns, the fem!oc is named Daenys (like Daenys The Dreamer) with Valyrian traits (silver hair and purple eyes), oral (f receiving), fingering, SMUT, sexual tension, sex, sex, sex, obsession and Aemond trying to hide his feelings, targcest (he is the uncle, she is the niece).
English is not my first language, so be kind <3
This is my Masterlist
Words: 2850
Rhaenyra and Daemon came from Dragonstone to King's Landing for visit Viserys with all theirs family: Daenys the eldest daughter who was 20, Jacaerys, Lucerys, Joffrey, Baela, Rhaena and the littles Aegon and Viserys.
They all together had a dinner with the King, Alicent watching Rhaenyra and Aegon almost drunked. Surely Daemon noticed and didn't like the way the prince Aemond looked at Daenys. The prince was looking at her with his one violet eye, with lust and desire, realizing how beautiful she was. The princess was talking with Helaena and was wearing a red and black dress with gold embroidery, some braid in the loose long hair, jewels like ring but no necklace.
After the dinner Aemond secretly followed her on Gods Park. The princess walked and watched around, missing the wildness of Dragonstone.
«Did you do miss the Red Keep» Aemond spoke behind her, and she turned around. «Uncle» she whispered. «I didn't miss this place» she smiled devilish. «I missed... all the adventured I had in this place» she licked her lower lip. «Did you remember? » she walked versus him, watching her favorite uncle. «The way we kissed each other hiding from everyone...» she put an and on his covered chest. «I missed our kisses from we were sixteen and seventeen, but now we're twenty and twenty-one, uncle. I haven't see you in a while.» she upped her gaze. Aemond Targaryen was always taller than her but became more handsome with perfect posture, long silver straight hair, the eye patch on his missing eye, smart, serious and loyal man to his family. To her eyes he was simply prohibited. «Did you remember all too well, niece» he responded. «How I could forget» she said. «Your warm, hot and infinite kisses»
«Tell me uncle, did you missed me?» she asked him with that damn devilish smile. «What makes you think that?» he watched her gaze. «The way you watched me during the dinner, uncle» she spoke softly. «The same way you are doing now...» she walked two footsteps back. «You have been always obsessed over prohibited things» she teased him. «They have betrothed you to someone?» he asked. «Why did you mind?» she responded with a smirk. «Tell me if yes or not.» he ordered. «I guess we'll never know, uncle» the princess spoke. «Now, goodnight uncle.» she walked over him, entering in the Keep and hiding in the darkness of the night. Aemond stood here for a while, after he retired to his chambers with that damn question in the mind: "Daemon and Rhaenyra betrothed her to someone?" She didn’t answer the question, but thinking at her damn smile she was clearly teasing him. Daenys was a such devilish girl and Aemond, after all these years was still obsessed with her and their prohibited kisses.
All began years ago, when Daenys still lived with her family at the Reed Keep, before moving to Dragonstone. She was curious about the world, so in the night she was wearing a black cloak and with Aemond they escaped in the city, observing the streets and tavern of King's Landing. She saw everything about the night life, but mostly girls her age living her life without shame or pudor. She was a princess so it was obvious that she must live under several hundred boring rules. «Have you ever kissed someone?» she asked Aemond, holding his hand while they walked. «I mean, someone you really like» s
Aemond stop walking and then watched her. «If you are asking me if I kisses the whores in the streets of silk, the answer is no.» he glacially responded. «This wasn't the question» the princess rolled up her eyes. «Me no» she said. «It was easy» replied with angst. «Me neither» Aemond left her hand putting them on her waist and pulling her on the wall of a house. «Did you want to kiss me, uncle? » she teased him. «Daor» "No" replied him in high Valyrian. «It seems yes» she continues to provoke. «Because I want to kiss you, I desire to feel what a kiss can make me and I want that you'll be the first my lips will be putting on»
«Kostilus» "Please" she whispers looking at him with lust. «I want it because I know it's prohibited» she said with a smirk. «Kiss me uncle or I'll do it» the princess was clearly turned on. Her breath was heavy, she starved her uncle. Aemond, who always tried to be seem not interested to her finally fell. To his eyes, she was the most beautiful young woman of the seven kingdoms: polite, smart, fierce, brave, a true dragon rider, able with the sword and fluent in high Valyrian. She was perfect and prohibited, in fact she was Daemon and Rhaenyra's daughter, and he was sure they'll never betrothed her to him. So, he spent years trying to hide his feelings for her favorite and only niece. Aemond lowered his gaze to her lips, caressing the bottom lip with his thumb. «I know that you want me, uncle. I'm the only between Daemon and Rhaenyra's children that you don't disrespect or hate» she said with mellifluous voice. «A kiss wont' ruin nothing» she smirked. «But the fault to didn't gave me that when you could, will devour you»
Aemond was so close to her that he smelled her scent, hear her heart beating and her breath. «I only want my uncle» she provoked and after tired of waiting her hands taken Aemond's cloak and bring him close to her, she tried to kiss him, but he moved his head away, denying her. «Fuck you, uncle» the princess insulted him and then, he grabbed his hand under her chin and then kissed her with the most hot, devilish, warm, beautiful and prohibited first kiss ever.
After that night, they've always meet in hidden places to kiss and cuddle each other, every day and night, until her family decided moving to Dragonstone.
And now, that night she was alone in her chambers sitting in front of the mirror brushing her long hair. Daenys was thinking about the conversation in the Gods Park, the way Aemond was looking at her and resist her provocation. The princess was still in love with him, but his uncle? Gods, he was handsome as hell and she remembered all too well his kisses. She continued brushing her hair until she heard a noise behind her. She turned and looked into the darkness but saw no one.
«Did you know the Red Keep has many secret passage?»
And finally, she saw him, her favorite uncle. «Why are you here?» she asking, but knowing perfectly why he was here: for her, his prohibited dream.
Aemond approached her, ordering her to turn around. Next, he took from his jacket pocket a thin Valyrian steel necklace set with a blue sapphire, just like his missing eye.
«This is for you» he said. «Bring your hair up» close to her niece, Aemond put the necklace around her neck. «Gevie» "Beautiful" he said in high Valyrian. Daenys watched him through the reflect of the mirror. «I should give this to you years ago before you leave. Now I think that you're engaged to someone, but...» he stopped. «But?» she asked. «This necklace has a piece of my sapphire in it. With that you'll always me with you» she lowered her eyes. She can feel pain in his voice, knowing that Aemond didn't want to someone have her, the princess of Dragonstone, her favorite niece.
In the dim light of the room, the tension between Daenys and Aemond was palpable. Their eyes met, both aware of the feelings they had tried to repress for so long. The silence between them was heavy with unspoken emotion, an invisible bond that united them beyond blood and family.
Aemond approached slowly, as if afraid to break the moment, and Daenys did not pull away. Their breaths mingled, and the world around them seemed to disappear, leaving them alone in that bubble of intimacy. Aemond raised a hand, gently touching Daenys’s cheek, his touch as light as a feather. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his hand on her skin.
Without a word, Aemond slowly leaned toward her, their lips meeting in a gentle, almost shy kiss. It was a sweet kiss, full of repressed emotion, a gesture that expressed everything they had never had the courage to say. For a moment, time seemed to stop, and the only thing that mattered was the warmth of the contact, the sweetness of that kiss.
Their kiss, shy at first, grew deeper, more intense. Aemond, feeling his desire grow, wrapped his arm around Daenys, holding her tighter, as if he feared losing her again.
Daenys, her heart pounding, let herself be carried away by the wave of passion that was overwhelming them both. Their lips moved with increasing urgency, their breaths quickening, and his tongue closed her lips. It was a kiss that spoke of everything they had felt and hidden, everything they had lost and found in that moment.
Aemond stroked her hair with one hand, while with the other he held her close, almost as if physical contact could fill the void of the years gone by. Daenys, driven by the fire she felt growing inside her, responded with equal passion, her hands gripping the fabric of his jacket, wanting to feel every part of him.
The prince grabbed her hips, his fingers tightened on her nightgown and kissed her neck, hot and wet, hungry. She moaned pulling his hair, let herself be picked up and carried towards the canopied bed where Aemond placed her.
«Uncle» she whispered with heavy breathing. «I need it» she looked up her gaze. «Do you know what I mean» he stood up, put his hands on his jacket and began to undress him. «I am yours; I have always been yours» Daenys stood on tiptoe to kiss him, making him sigh heavily and once she had taken off his jacket, throwing it on the floor, looking up at him with a hungry look she put her hand on his blindfold. «No-» he began annoyed, he did not want her to see his disfigured face. «Yes» he answered. «Your princess orders you and you must obey me, uncle.» Daenys, shortly after, before his eyes dropped her nightgown at his feet, remaining naked in front of her favorite uncle.
«Do you still have the courage to say no to me?» she taunted him. Aemond swallowed and wrapped a hand around her neck. «And the princess should obey the orders of her prince» he spoke hard, pushing her against the bed. Lying on the covers she looked like she came out of a painting: long silver hair, piercing eyes, soft, smooth and delicate skin. A body that seemed sculpted by the Gods themselves. Aemond finished undressing under her hungry gaze, as soon as she saw him naked and towering over her she smiled devilishly. The body of her favorite uncle was simply beautiful: defined muscles, sculpted chest, trained arms and the v-line that closed around his erect manhood. «Uncle…» she whispered biting her lip. «You have always had a weakness for the forbidden. You weren’t allowed to calm Vhagar, but you did. You’re not allowed to do this, but you’re doing it. She smiled wickedly»
Aemond kissed her hungrily, their bodies hot on top of each other, their skin touching, the hot dragon blood and that beautiful blue sapphire set in the socket of the eye that looked down at her. Daenys arched her back, feeling the hard length between her thighs between things. Aemond moved his kisses from her lips to her neck, moving down between her lips, licking and taking a nipple between his teeth and then moving further down. He opened her legs in one motion, positioning himself between them and admiring how wet she was for him. Damn, Daenys was so turned on just by kissing.
«Dōna riña» “Sweet Girl” Aemond whispered. He kissed her wet cunt and after he stared to lick her between her spread legs. He went so much deeper, moans of pure pleasure escaped her lips at the feel of his mouth on her, the act so utterly sinful and prohibited. She found the strength to raise herself up on her elbows, to look up at him with her lips glossy and swollen. He closed his eye, brushed my fingers over her sensitive spot and she trembled, her body shaking. «Uncle» she moaned at the sensation of his tongue and two fingers inside her, torture and give her that damn prohibited pleasure.
«Ah» she moaned biting her lower lip, one hand into Aemond's hair. «Oh Gods Uncle» Daenys was trembling, his tongue was licking her foldings, his mouth kissing her wet womanhood. «I want you» she was lost in pleasure. «I want you inside me» she arched her back, felt Aemond's tongue fucking her, his arms around her legs. «Uncle please!» she begged him, Aemond was so hard that almost hurted. «Uncle Aemond» she was trembling, but he didn't care, the prince was devouring her favorite and only niece. «Oh Gods» Daenys closed her eyes for a moment, he was total evil and the sensation was so good, so hot, so prohibited. She felt his fingers inside her, a mortal combo with his tongue. The feeling was so good, and she found herself riding her uncle's face. «Aemond» she moaned white Aemond, was literally lost in pleasure and his only desire was to ruin his little sweet niece.
Aemond, however, did not let her come. Sia turned away, her eyes confused and exhausted. «Uncle…»Daenys watched him take his length in his hand, caress himself a couple of times before leaning on her, his elbow resting beside her head.
«Breathe slowly» Aemond whispered against her lips. The prince slid his manhood between her thighs, got wet with her, entered only the tip and then slowly pushed himself between her legs. Daenys pressed herself against him, feeling her beloved uncle inside her. Aemond sighed, breathing in her scent, kissed her and remained still for a few moments. She was so hot and wet; she had welcomed him without difficulty. «Fuck me uncle» Daenys watched him starved. «Use me» she ordered. Slowly he began to thrust, the pace was slow, but soon it increased Daenys moaned digging her nails into Aemond’s trained back, following his every thrust, moaning and feeling his of their bodies.
Aemond rested his forehead against Daenys’s, kissing her on the lips. «Uncle, uncle, uncle…» she moaned. Aemond lost himself in that forbidden pleasure, the sensation was nothing short of forbidden and exciting, she melted with every thrust of his hips.
«I know you are a good dragon rider» Aemond whispered, she nodded and so, with a brusque movement she found herself on her uncle’s hips, impaled on his length. «Ride it all» he whispered helping her move, losing himself in her body on top, her breasts moving with every thrust and Daenys’s hands placed on Aemond’s chest. «Oh uncle!» she whispered lost in pleasure feeling her legs tremble, Aemond under her began to feel that sensation. «Uncle» she said with trembling voice.
«I need to...» she moved, riding her dragon, taking all the pleasure. «You need to come, beautiful» he said, caressing her thighs with his hangs of her and finally Daenys felt it, that sensation inside her stomach of her. «Uncle, oh my gods, uncle, uncle, uncle» she cried, Aemond bit his lower lip. «I will come into you» he said. «You will fill up with all my seed, carrying my child» and now, she was about to come on his cock di lei and him, inside her di lei filling di lei whit his seed di lei. Daenys crawled into her arms.
«Uncle» she whispered, feeling himself hugging her. «I’m not promised to any lord» she finally told the truth. «I knew it » Aemond revealed. «I know you, my niece» he kissed the back of her hand, enjoying the peace of that orgasm.
«Uncle?» she called him. «Tomorrow morning ask my parents to be promised to you» she whispered, caressing his silk hair. «And if they say no?» Aemond answered. «Then I should tell them that we fucked and I am with you child, or maybe... we should wed secretly, with valyrian ceremony» she kissed his lips. «I think that we should» Aemond looked at her with that gaze. «Do you want to be my husband and the father of my children?» Daenys asked to his favorite uncle. «And do you want to be my wife and the mother of my children?»
Aemond answered. «Yes» she kissed him on his lips, caressing his bare chest. «This is prohibited, sure I want it» she lowered her kisses to his chest.
«I am yours, Aemond Targaryen» she has always been in love with his uncle and him, finally was free to show her his true feelings. «And I love you, my gevie princess.»
#aemond targaryen x reader#aemondtargaryenedit#house of the dragon#aemond one eye#house targaryen#aemond smut#aemond x reader#aemond the kinslayer#aemond targaryen x female reader#hotd aemond#aemond targaryen smut#smut#dance of the dragons#house of the dragons#aemond targaryen#aemond kinslayer
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click! 2 (e.w.)
SYNOPSIS: you need a roommate, and you love eggplant. [college au]
WORD COUNT: 5.7k
WARNINGS: photographer/roommate!ellie, ocs an artist with a rep, all ocs r black coded, crack, alcohol, arguments, more slut-shaming, bullying, disordered eating, brief mentions of sexual harassment/assault, sex for like a second, failed orgasms, masturbation, slight exhibitionism
one. three. four.
A/N: heyyyyy…. how yall doin🤭🤭 a little something before i go back to work kms
“So, lemme get this straight,” Abby pinches a lollipop stick between her fingers like it’s a blunt, adjusting the invisible glasses on her face, “The psycho just barged in?”
“With all of her shit! Didn’t even bother to say good morning or anything!”
It’s been hours since the squash-loving hermit took refuge in your home, and you’re sizzling with rage as you recall the events from earlier. You clocked out zoomed to Abby’s building in no time.
“Damn… why didn’t you call security… or the landlord? She can’t just move in without signing the contract.”
You pace around Abby’s rug-covered space, “Bitch, I don’t fuck with feds and rent’s due in two days!” You holler, “And she did sign the contract! I haven’t signed it yet because I didn’t know she was gonna show up and act like that. You’re not disrespecting me in my own house.”
Her head shakes, “What’d I tell you? If it were me… we wouldn’t have any problems.”
You point a scolding finger at the smirking blonde girl, “Yes, we fucking would. Don’t start.”
But she presses anyway, “I think we’d be a match made in heaven, actually.” She rises from the couch and hovers over you, the tip of your index connecting with her strong, covered chest. Your glare persists, but there’s warmth pulling in your gut from her scent.
Your skin is flaming; This is why you’ll never be able to have a serious conversation — or anything, for that matter — with Abby. Her raunchy remedies aren’t going to work in this situation; You’re too stressed.
“But anyway,” Her brow arches and she backs off. Slightly. “You’re an adult and main tenant. You gotta handle it soon.” She ponders for a moment, “But to be fair, you texted her first.”
“How many times do I have to say that I was lit as fuck! I don’t even remember— “
Abby’s taunting expression makes you pause, nails digging into the skin of your palms.
“Don’t.”
Your hiss makes her snort, “I didn’t say anything.”
“You don’t have to. It’s not funny.”
Abby knows you and Dina’s history better than anyone. Knows exactly how you got caught up in “situationship” nonsense, all with liquor and a phone. You can’t fault Abby for recognizing the familiarity, but a burning sting rests in your chest. Embarrassment spreads all over your cheeks, and you announce your departure in a rush.
Her regret is evident in the way she calls out for you, but you’re out the door in seconds, slamming it as hard as the frame can hold.
The winter air hits your eyes first… You try to convince yourself, hastily wiping the wet trails off your face. You’re not fucking crying over Dina. Not again.
You snatch your phone from your pocket to ask Amaya for advice, but your heart swells when you see her messages.
You think back to all the times she’s coddled you through your emotions: she drops everything to tend to your needs, no matter how big or small. Guilt would put you in the ground if she ruins her opportunity for your convenience; You can’t tell her. She deserves to enjoy herself. You match your best friend’s excitement all the way back to your car.
Abby called twice during the drive back home, but you didn’t answer. You know she wasn’t being malicious, but you’re sensitive, especially when it comes to anything related to Dina.
You rip your apartment door open and find Ellie lounging on your fucking couch with Love Island playing from her laptop. And eating peanuts… with Chick-Fil-A ranch?
You slam her device shut, words sharp as nails, “I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m telling you right now, you’re not fucking staying here.” You’re shredding through skin with your glare, but she’s not reacting. Just sitting there and crunching, eyes void.
“Don’t even think about unpacking. You’re getting out tonight, I can promise you that.”
“No, I’m not.”
“What.”
She merely shrugs, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“What the fuck— “
More cracked shells, more munching; Your eyelid is jerking.
“Rent’s on the counter, by the way.”
You hold back a scoff before marching into the kitchen, eyeing the envelope labeled fake ass mortgage. You hear the contestants from the reality show resume their dialogue, but you’re locked on how thick the letter looks to bother scolding.
It’s torn open… and filled with hundred-dollar bills. Way more than half of rent. Ellie might’ve covered the heat bill for the rest of winter.
“I thought you were a fucking photographer.” The shock in your voice is clear as day, mindlessly returning to the living room.
“I am.” She calls dryly.
“No, you’re not.” You toss the money on the coffee table. “The fuck do you do on the side? Sell drugs to freshmen?”
“Sure.”
When your arms cross over your chest with an accusatory stare, she sighs. “I told you. I take pictures.”
“Of who? The fucking councilman?”
Another shrug. “Whoever asks. It’s how I make money…” A light pause. “At least until I secure this job.”
You squint at her, “I thought you got evicted. You’re clearly fit to pay rent on your own.”
That seems to shake her a little, staring back with hardened eyes, “And who the fuck are you to question me? The reason I’m here is because of you!”
“Exactly! This...” Arms waving around the living room. “…is my fucking space! You’re a straggler at best.”
A weighted huff escapes her before she tosses her snack on the table and stands, leaning over the table.
“You would’ve been in the same position as me if I didn’t show up. No where to fucking go,” She spits. “If you want me gone, fine. But when your landlord comes knocking on your fucking door asking why you’re two weeks late, don’t say shit to me.”
You waver slightly and she notices, smirk darker than her pupils. You’re steaming; Smoke is going to come out of your ears soon.
“The same goes for you. I don’t wanna hear your fucking voice, and don’t touch anything that I paid for,” You command, “Don’t even breathe in my space. Stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine.”
A condescending grin plasters onto her face.
“Where’d you hide that lease?”
Your heart is too weak for hatred… or so you thought.
Abby, Amaya… everyone you’ve fucking talked to about the bitch right across the hall thinks that she’s dangerous and sick and out for blood.
They’re all wrong. It’s you.
Ellie is conjuring up something villainous deep inside you; Her childish antics started off small: bumping against the wall in the middle of the night, leaving her dirty ass shoes out of place by the front door, not laying the rugs that she slipped on flat… Incredibly annoying, but fixable.
You took the time to construct a new roommate agreement that fit your unique situation the morning after your argument. It was sloppily scribbled on a crumpled piece of construction paper, but it was a symbol of peace. You taped it to her door before you left for your shift, only to return and see it ripped up and scattered in front of your door.
It’s been five days since then. Five, and you can already feel a bald spot forming at the back of your skull. To think that Ellie was your first option as a roommate just days ago is laughable now. You know that none of the tricks she’s pulling are accidental. You pride yourself in being observant, and you always catch that prideful look on her face when she nails one of your peeves.
You try to be here when Ellie’s not, but she’s always home when you are. Music blasting in the wee hours of the night knowing you have three upcoming shifts to cover, on the couch rewatching the same episode of Love Island over and over while you make your breakfast, pretending to talk on the phone to friends she doesn’t have as loudly as possible. You’re fucking tired and you’re holding your hand back from slapping her.
But the worst part is that she’s stocked your fridge with fucking squash. Top to bottom in all colors there is. Filled the drawers with one called cucurbita argyrosperma. You were torn between curling in hysterics and beating it over your new roommate's head; The petty side of your brain wishes that you were allergic so you could “accidentally” eat some, die, and get her locked up, but you hushed it. She’s fucking with you, but rent and some bills are paid for the month. What a sick turn of events.
You’re plotting, though. Something’s brewing, and Abby’s helping you. It’s finally Saturday, and college kids are fiending for a rager.
The only quality that you respect about Ellie is that she’s clean. She washes her dishes, does her laundry (separate from yours, thank God), and she’s deep-cleaned the bathroom twice already. Ellie despises large messes more than you, though, since you’re willing to sacrifice your tidy abode to piss her off. Let the ruckus in!
You heard her leave early this morning, and you’ve noticed that when she’s gone, she’s gone, which gives you all the time to plan. You skip to the bathroom like a kid in a candy store, showering, brushing your teeth, doing skincare. You whip up the hardiest breakfast you can before your mall venture with Abby; It’s been days since you’ve last nutted, and you need a new vibrator. And new paintbrushes.
“… Why haven’t you beat her ass again?”
It only took Abby buying food for you to forgive her. You slurp down your strawberry milkshake, “Fear of permanent imprisonment.”
“Does Maya know what’s been going on?” Abby asks, shaking her head.
“Fuck no, and she’s never going to. Have you seen her Snaps?” You whip out your phone and show her Amaya’s stories; She’s exploring and meeting new people. “She’s having a ball! The second I tell her what’s been going on, she’s gonna drop everything and come back. I’m not doing that to her.”
“You’re the only outlet I have, so suck it up and listen to me bitch and moan.” You continue, “Who’s coming tonight?”
She smiles, “As many as I could get.”
“Please tell me Armani’s coming.”
“She is, for sure.”
Your heart flutters. Armani… She’s everything you could ever want and need. She’s kind, smart, drop-dead gorgeous, and she bench presses with Abby on the weekends. She has your clit jumping like a salmon in the freshwater, and you’re going to see her tonight.
You jump awake at your alarm, eyes stinging as you glance at your phone. It’s a little past nine; Pregaming hours.
You throw your lazy body into the shower and conduct your special-occasions ritual, blasting your music as loud as the speaker would allow, scrubbing your body with exfoliant to your heart's content.
You exit, water cascading down your shoulders and back, towel engulfed around your body. You have no idea what to fucking wear; What color does Armani like? Do lesbians qualify for the red nail theory or is that something heteros made up for TikTok followers? What if she doesn’t like eucalyptus scented body wash?
You swallow your doubts with a shot glass.
Outfit prepping takes longer than expected, but you’re dressed, titties are out, and your thoughts are swirling like the liquor in your gut. You should call Amaya and tell her you love her—
Another shot, more dancing. You’re spinning around your small room to the bass of the beat, sloppily pulling every shot that you can, back arching and hips throwing in any direction they can.
The bass sounds louder the more you dance, every thud rattling the poster-covered walls of your room.
It’s not until the bass surpasses the song that you realize it’s not bass at all. It’s knocking… on your bedroom door. You snicker; Abby’s here with your girl.
You don’t know why she’s boxing with your door, though. Beating the shit out of it. When you yank it open, you’re instantly annoyed at who appears behind it.
A… gray sweat clad Ellie propped against the door frame, arms crossed over her chest and red hairs framing her face. You force your eyes upward, right in between hers. The dots on her face look like skittles. Since when does she have a fucking tattoo? Are you hallucinating or is it a fat ass leaf with eyeballs?
You barely registered what she said, “Can you turn that off? It’s almost eleven.”
“Why, absolutely-the-fuck-not.” You slur, and she cringes, nose wrinkling at the scent of liquor on you. “Where’s Abby?”
Ellie’s biceps are… out on the prowl. And the veins in her hands are still there. Just checking. Right between her eyes again.
“Who the hell is that?”
“My bitch.” You chuckle.
Ellie’s eyes widen and you correct yourself.
“N-Not bitch like whore. Bitch like… like, that’s my bitch! She’s great, love her. BFF… not over Amaya, though.”
Ellie’s getting annoyed; Her nose won’t stop twitching. “… Is she coming over?”
“She should be on her way.”
“Is she stupid?”
“What.”
“Is your… bitch stupid?”
“Um, no, she’s not fucking stupid. What the hell are you on.” You snap, offended for your friend.
“Tell her to stay the fuck home before she gets buried.”
… Did Ellie just threaten to kill one of your sneaky-links? Before she gets buried?
“And what the fuck are you gonna do? Just so you know, whatever you do, she’ll double it and send it back! And I’m jumping in, so— “
Your roommate’s gawking in disbelief. “… I meant buried by the snow, you fucking idiot. There’s a blizzard outside.”
You’re flatlining, you can feel it.
“There’s a what.”
“Check the damn news.” She pushes herself off the wall and turns towards her room, “And go to bed. Looks like you need it.”
Her door slams shut. She’s definitely poking fun at your eyebags. You thought you did a good job at concealing them.
A fucking blizzard? December just started. You check your phone, reading the influx of messages from your dad, Amaya, Abby telling you to stay safe and indoors and the party’s cancelled because of the storm and you want to fucking die—
You tear a slit in your blinds and… yup. Pure white is pelting from the dark gray clouds in the sky, the formerly black street painted ivory with ice. Not a car in sight, and if they are, they’re covered entirely.
The harsh reality hasn’t even set in yet. The girl you want to strangle is trapped inside with you; She’s not going anywhere, either. You’re going to be forced to see her everywhere in your two-bedroom apartment. And you’re not having sex tonight.
Plan PISS-ELLIE-OFF was a bust. You’re drunk and hungry—
Your eyes bulge; When was the last time you’ve gone grocery shopping?
You clumsily rush to the kitchen, nearly ripping your fridge door off the handle. When you're met with the pack of cream cheese and mini croissants you bought last week and all of Ellie’s fresh groceries (including squash), you almost start crying. You slept away all your pre-storm chore hours.
Ellie pads in the kitchen with an empty ice cream carton and spoon, headphones blasting in her ears. She doesn’t acknowledge you as she throws away the carton and grabs the unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips. Your mouth waters.
You watch as she rips the bag open, the salty, bitter aroma traveling into your nostrils.
“Ellie.” She can’t hear you over the fuckery penetrating her eardrums!
You tap her shoulder harder than necessary. “Don’t touch me.”
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THERE WAS A STORM?”
Her veiny hand — fuck — pushes one of her ear cups over to the side, not even bothering to look at you as she fills her bowl to the brim with the crunchy snack; You never noticed how heavily pierced her left ear is.
“Who are you again?”
Alright. Your tongue gets loose, “You know, you don’t have to act like a fucking cunt all the time! I tried to be nice to you and—”
“Yeah, ‘cause shit talking me with your friends is so fucking nice.” She scoffs and turns, pointed glare set on you. Your stomach drops. How the fuck did she know that?
“Drop the fucking act already. You’re also a cunt…” Her eyes drag over your appearance. “Amongst other things, evidently.”
Ellie’s eyes hold so much disdain, and you instantly feel exposed and gross. Your face sears with embarrassment, arms mindlessly crossing over your chest in attempts to cover up.
“… What the fuck does that mean?” You know what she means.
“You think I’m a fucking freak and a loser and a bunch of other shit I’ve been called since forever?” She sneers, “Then you’re a fucking slut. How’s that for nice?”
Your body locks up, freezes, and you fight back vomit. Ellie grabs her bowl and exits the kitchen, door slamming shut, leaving you to simmer in her spite.
You don’t feel hungry anymore.
You didn’t drink enough last night. You’re awake, and you remember everything. And you’re so fucking hungry.
Guilt festers in your chest like rats, and anxiety is building in your fingers. Your head hurts so bad and your mouth is dry, but you refuse to move from under your blankets to get water. You didn’t even have the energy to take your make-up off last night, mascara and small sparkles smeared all over your pillowcase.
You wallow, using the heavy wind outside as stress relief. People really think you’re a whore with no self-respect, even after a year. Your heart’s hitting against your ribcage at an alarming pace. Deep breaths, that’s all you can do.
Tears jerk in your eyes as you recall every unwanted stare, every cat-call, every grope and dirty text message you’ve received from people you both know and don’t. You freeze and… that’s it. You just don’t move and hope they can read that you’re scared.
Does Ellie feel the same way when people talk poorly about her?
Your breathing techniques aren’t working so you sit up, shaking your hands and digging your palms into your wet eyes. You’re suddenly too hot for blankets.
Your clock reads near noon; You’ve been awake for hours. Your feet plant on the cool wood and sigh in relief before standing and snagging your new paint brushes off your dresser.
Your hands tremble as you fill a water cup and grab a black canvas, setting up your workspace on the floor. You squirt hues of blue, green and white on a dried paper plate and let your brush do the work; You’re not thinking, just painting, smudging, trapping yourself in emptiness. The scene you’re creating is drying your tears; You wish you could escape into the grass field, even for a second.
Your water cup is brown by the time you finish; How long have you been sitting here? The needles in your legs tell you long enough. Your vision will have to wait.
You unlock and quietly open the door… It doesn’t matter, though. Ellie’s awake and silently sitting on the couch. You pay her no mind and venture to the fridge for your croissants and cream cheese, throwing your pastries in the microwave.
Eyes are on you. You feel them in your back.
When the microwave dings, you spread cream cheese all over the buttery dough. Ellie’s hoarse voice freezes you. Not again.
“The blizzard… isn’t stopping.”
You finally inspect your roommate: leg bouncing and brows furrowed, nails between her teeth, eyes locked on the window that shows the heavy snowfall.
“Usually how they work.”
Your sarcasm doesn’t move her, “They said it would pass after a couple of hours yesterday! It hasn’t let up yet!”
“Never listen to weathermen. They make shit up as they go.” You keep your voice curt while you make your plate. It looks a hot mess; You wish you had blackberry jam.
“They can’t make shit up when there’s money on the fucking line!” You hear footsteps from behind you; Ellie’s pacing. “I have a client today. Their photos were supposed to go in my portfolio before I submit it!”
Her statement makes you pause. You didn’t think about that; It’s impossible to travel anywhere at the moment. How the fuck are you going to get to work? You can’t afford to miss shifts. It’s almost that time of the month.
“This was one of the biggest bookings I’ve gotten and I’m gonna miss it because of the fucking weather!”
You don’t know why she's talking to you, so you cut the conversation short. “You’ll figure it out.” You enter your room without another word, slamming the door as hard as noise complaints would allow.
After a few minutes, Ellie’s door slams, too.
Hours pass and you’re covered in paint. Your one flower field turned into three, one with detailed butterflies, one with raining rose petals, one with your mother’s name spelled out with clouds.
Your fingers are sore, but you feel lighter. Those croissants wore off a long time ago; You’re starving. What you’d give for grilled eggplant and shrimp with Greek yogurt and lemon juice—
A soft knock lands on your door, and you stiffen. You stand, legs popping and arms stretching over your head as you wobble to your door.
The second it opens, you're hit with the smell of garlic and herbs and your mouth waters. Ellie stands over you, playing with her fingers. You don’t register that you’re missing pants until she gawks at your bare legs; Warmth spreads across your body and you maneuver so she can’t see them behind the door.
A moment of awkward silence before she chokes, “There’s, uh… there’s soup on the stove.” You scoff, ignoring the growling in your stomach.
“I don’t like squash, Ellie.”
The door slams in her face and she sighs behind the wood.
…
Later that night, you sneak into the dark kitchen, the big pot of soup still on the stove. You open the lid and inspect its contents: shredded chicken, carrots, fucking… green leaves of some sort. You grab a spoon and taste it to be safe. It’s good, and there’s no squash in it. You eat two warm bowls.
The storm calms when you wake the next morning. Thank God; You haven’t had coffee in days.
Ellie’s gone for the day, so you blast music while in the shower. You dry and dress in silence, yanking your underwear and jeans up your legs, throwing on a pair of earmuffs over your earphones and a puffer.
You almost slip on the ice from the sidewalk on the way to you and Abby’s coffee shop before heading to class like normal. You go grocery shopping before your first shift.
Work drags on like normal, legs numb from standing and throat dry from sale attempts at checkout. Who the fuck wants to apply for a credit card for a coffee machine website?
It’s not until your shift is on its last limbs that your heart stops in your chest. The bell rings to the hardware store, and you instantly rush to the back to retrieve your other coworker. It’s Dina. What the fuck.
You burst into the break room, “Raja, Raja, I need a favor.”
She slurps her ramen, exclaiming what around her soggy noodles.
You search for any heads and whisper, “There’s someone I used to fuck outside! Can you take care of her, please, I can’t— “
“Okay, okay, damn. I got it— “
The service bell rings, “Go, go! Hurry up!” Your coworker swallows her noodles and plasters her smile on her face. You hide behind the cracked door and listen to everything.
“Hey, ladies! Sorry about the wait!”
“No problem!” Dina’s laugh sends a pain in your chest, “I just needed a new bike lock. Someone tried to steal mine, like, what the fuck.”
There’s an unfamiliar laugh that melds with Dina’s. “No problem! Would you like to sign up for a Coffee Brewers credit card with your purchase? They’ll repair all filter baskets and decanters for 45% off!”
You almost smile; Dina doesn’t drink coffee. Raja checks them out, and you peer out the small opening of the door. Dina and… whoever the fuck that is are snuggled up behind the service counter, her head resting on the random’s shoulder. They’re whispering and laughing and you’re disgusted. And sad.
They depart with a small bag and Raja almost smashes the door into your face.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Mourning.”
“Damn… sorry, man.”
You shrug and thank your coworker before returning to your position. What could’ve been.
It’s late when you get home.
Ellie’s on the couch; You feel her watch as you unlace your boots and unravel your scarf. You set your bag on the floor and grab your Cheesecake Factory brown bread loaf for your grilled PB&J. Ellie clears her throat; You say nothing.
She coughs louder when you butter your bread.
“Are you sick or something?”
Ellie whips her head around, “No, why?”
“You’re coughing like you’re gonna die.”
Your roommate doesn’t reply, so you turn and toast your bread on the stove.
“How was the soup?”
Your eyes bulge, “Huh?”
“Did it taste… like, decent?”
You stare down at your sizzling toast, “I dunno what you mean.”
Voice flat as ever, she says, “The soup… you had some— “
“No, I didn’t— “
“Wha— I know what was in the pot when I ate. You had some—”
You face her, skin boiling, “Okay, and what about it? Yes, I ate some! I would’ve had three bowls instead of two if I wasn’t so fucking tired! It was good as fuck! I slept like a baby!”
She calls your name but you ignore her, “Sorry, I got my disgusting, slutty germs all over your stupid chicken noodle soup! Is that what you wanna hear! What, are whores not allowed food, either?! Why’d you offer it to me then?!”
Another rushed call of your name, but you press on, “Y’know, you’re actually weird as fuck! Who calls someone a filthy, bottom of the barrel gutter rat then offers them soup the next day! What kinda limbo fuckery are you playin’ at— “
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP… BEEP—
You gasp when the fire alarm sounds. When you turn, your toast is charred black and surrounded by dark smoke. You cut the heat off and push the pan over. Ellie’s running with a towelette, waving it around the beeping alarm.
You grab a washcloth and help her, and eventually it cuts off. Ellie rushes over to the front door and switches the ceiling fan on.
Your sandwich is fucking ruined. Great!
You don’t know why you’re sobbing, but it’s loud. You just want to go to fucking bed. Ellie’s just standing there with a towel in hand, fiddling with her earlobe. How embarrassing.
You push yourself off the counter and turn to go to your room, but Ellie calls for you.
“What?! What now, Ellie!”
She cringes, “I— You’re not a… slut?”
Your teary eyes squint at her. “Are you asking me— “
“No! No, I’m… Sorry? You’re not a slut.” This is the weirdest apology you’ve ever received in your entire goddamn life.
“Well, fuck me! Thanks!” You snark between sniffles. You yank your bedroom door open.
“You’re good at painting!” She shouts, and you stop.
For some reason, you sob harder, and she panics, “Uhh… I mean, like, for an amateur! Like, you’re decent enough!”
Now you’re… laughing? You need to sleep now. Ellie chuckles uncomfortably, and you snicker darkly to yourself, “Life is a fucking joke, oh my god.”
Your fingers dig deep into your wet eyes, and Ellie’s sock-covered feet pad closer.
“Look, I’m not… I don't know what to say.”
“Then don’t talk.”
“‘Kay.”
She stands there in silence and watches you wipe your face on your sweater sleeve, mascara smearing all over the fabric.
“Why didn’t you use squash in the soup?”
“Uh… you wouldn’t have eaten it if I did.”
You nod and stare at the wall. “So, what? That was a peace offering?”
Ellie contemplates what she should say.
“Not really… I mean, I was hungry, but I didn’t care if you ate… some of it, if that makes sense.”
It doesn’t. “Whatever, I’m going to bed.” Her lip curls like she wants to add something, but she doesn’t.
“… Alright.”
“Don’t worry about the pan. I’ll get it tomorrow.” And just like that, you shut the door on her again.
You don’t have the energy to shower, so you undress and tuck yourself in. Your room is warmer than usual.
Ellie’s been acting differently since then.
For the past three days, she’s been greeting you whenever you’re in her line of vision. She even mumbled hi before she took her seat in stats yesterday. It’s awkward and stiff, but there’s always a wave somewhere in her movements. You nod back at her every time.
You’re not sure where your relationship lies with your roommate, but it’s not as… bad? Seeing her doesn’t bother you as much as it did; You suppose it’s the same for her, too.
You’re exhausted; Finals are around the corner, and you’re busting your ass. You had to get another job for the holiday season since it’s you and your dad’s first Christmas together since you were little, and you want to get him something nice.
All you need is a good nut and you’re set for the next two weeks. You miss Abby. She’s been just as busy with nonsense as you have, but you found time to see her later tonight.
You’re stuck in the library trying to make the concept of categorical variables stick, but it’s not working. You’re in a block because you’re thinking about Abby. She should be here to pick you up soon.
You slam your book shut when your phone goes off, a message from… Ellie.
You set your phone down with a small smile. What a weirdo.
You force yourself to study for another hour. Heavy hands clamp down on your shoulders and you shriek, other students looking up in confusion, your hand clasping over your mouth.
Abby’s laughing behind you, warm breaths hitting your ear before she kisses your cheek.
“Hi.” She whispers.
“Hi yourself.”
“Pack that shit up.” Abby points at your books and messy stacks of paper. “Let’s roll.”
You don’t hesitate, shoving everything in your bag in anticipation of your nut. Your clit’s cheering; She’s finally happy.
You’re warm, well-fed, and Abby’s drilling the fuck out of you, but you can’t cum.
Your face is shoved into your friend’s pillow; She’s hitting exactly where you need her to, and it feels good. You’re tipping, but you haven’t tipped. You’ve been on the verge of orgasming for the past ten minutes and it’s driving you crazy.
Your voice is barely there, “Just cuuum, just cum, just cum—“ You’re begging… yourself into her pillow.
Abby sounds so sexy behind you; You’re shocked you’re not convulsing at the sound of her voice alone.
After some time, her hips slowed into a stop, tip nudged inside you.
“… You good?” She exhales.
You throw her two thumbs up. You’re not good at all.
Abby snorts and pulls out, gently patting your hip, “Sit up and talk to me.”
Your legs give out from underneath you and you lay flat. Abby hands you a washcloth and you wipe between your legs while she unstraps her dick.
“I think I’m broken.” You muffle into her slobbery pillowcase.
“You’re not broken, you’re just not feeling it. It’s fine.”
She’s too sweet. You want to cry, “I’m sor— “
“Don’t you dare. Finish your Wingstop.”
“Okay.” You grumble.
Abby drops you off after the movie finishes. The red string that connects her clit to yours snaps as you waddle back up to your apartment.
You enter your shared home and you’re instantly freezing; Ellie’s not here. She hates sleeping when it’s cold.
You and your pussy sigh in relief. Just five minutes by yourself; that’s all you need. Your shoes and backpack are thrown to the side in the nick of time, bursting through your bedroom door and rummaging through your drawer. Your cunt screams eureka when your vibrator turns on. You don’t remember charging the son of a bitch!
Your pants and panties are lunged across your bedroom and you leap into bed. Your toy’s buzzing in your hand, and your walls squeeze in anticipation. Foreplay be damned.
Your eyes shut the second the vibrations hit your clit, trying to imagine a sweaty Abby on top of you, fucking you deep, choking you out. Your orgasm is right there, walls desperately trying to milk the brisk air around you. You shove two free fingers inside, and your muscles latch onto them, pulling them in deeper. It’s right there, just a little more.
“Please, please, c’mon, fuck— “
Your pleas go ignored. Your imagination has never failed you, so why can’t you fucking cum?
Desperate sobs combine with your moans, brain filled with Abby, and Dina. Even Armani slips her way in there and you’ve seen her twice in person, but it’s useless. Your peak never comes.
You’re seconds away from shattering your window with your fucking vibrator. You and Ellie can’t afford to get that shit fixed—
Your clit jumps at the brief image of your roommate, pissed off and berating you about breaking a fucking window. You hate that you don’t fight it, the visions of her and her strong arms, her twitchy nose, her dot-covered face. It’s stirring something vicious in your tummy, and you can’t keep your mouth shut.
You see her on top of you instead of Abby, her short hair loosening from her bun and framing her blushing face. Pretty, moss-filled eyes stare back at you, annoyance and bother replaced with something darker. Needier; She wants you to take from her.
“Fuck, fuck, mmh— “
Your hips buck when your positions switch in your mind, a blushing, spent Ellie, reaching for you, pulling you close, begging to touch her.
You’re so loud when your orgasm splits your brain in two, your stress melting away in an instant, nasty, unspoken visuals of your pouty and weird housemate fluttering beneath your eyelids. You ride your high until you can’t, vibrator clattering to the floor, walls flexing around nothing.
You’re so tired that you don’t bother moving. You pull the covers over your trembling form and knock out, not even bothering to turn your shaking toy off as it rattles on the hardwood.
It’ll be dead by the time Ellie comes home. If she does.
…
…
…
Ellie lays on her side in her bed, knees pulled to her chest, her tattooed arm wrapped around her tummy and a hand covering her mouth. Her face is burning hot and her stomach is swirling. Whenever she blinks, she can see you, eyes rolled to the back of your head as you surrender to your release.
Her heart is racing and minutes away from crawling up her throat.
She completely forgets to put in that maintenance request for your broken heater; She’s warm enough under the covers for tonight.
A/N: hi again its finna pick up LEMME COOOOOK LEMME COOK
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wildfire (cs) | six.
—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 10.1k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, sorry if i missed anything i had to quickly edit in order to get this out lol, san x oc finally talk a little more abt each other - family - friends, small affectionate gestures and kisses, yes we have finally made it my friends… the sleepover where we discuss neuroscience papers!!!! lmao jk 😭 was not lying abt the true crime aspect tho (i fear i know nothing else), san also opens up a bit more about iseul, making out, neck kisses, breast play, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some clit play i guess!!, aftercare, cuddles
You decide to go to dinner with San, but the decision comes incredibly last minute. You've paced around your studio, sat on your bed for hours, going back and forth between a simple yes or no. Until, you finally realized you truly didn't wanna miss out. You felt like you'd regret it if you didn't just go to see what it'd be like.
Harmless.
Eunchae and Jurin are gone for the weekend for other family commitments, but you still find yourself having to make up some sort of scenario for the boys in case they come barging in while you're getting ready. You tell them that you're spending the afternoon with your mom and that you'll be back later tonight in case they wanna come over and hang out. Boys being boys— they don't pry much and leave it at that.
You let out a breath just after you end the call with Jiung and set your phone aside, dabbing a bit more blush onto the apples of your cheeks.
San told you to meet him at a restaurant that's very Nobu-esque, and you damn near dropped your phone when you pulled up the directions and saw pictures of the fancy interior. Even if you protested, he wouldn't let up— promising you that he'd take care of everything and that he just wanted you to have a good time with him. He asked once more if you were sure about driving, and you insist; just for the one time, to play things safe, to relieve yourself of the pressure of having to be with San in a car in case dinner doesn't pan out well [for whatever reason].
You are equally excited, nervous and terrified. Might feel a little queasy from the combo.
You run the lip gloss across your lips before pressing them together, spreading it across the surface. You check the time and pack your things into your purse, giving yourself a little bit of wiggle room for the 30-minute drive east to meet San. You check yourself in the mirror and dust yourself off, smoothing down the simple, black cami-strap dress you have on. Good thing you checked the restaurant's dress code on their website last night, or else, you might have walked into the place in something a little more casual.
Not classy. Elegant. Black and white attire only.
You run off to your car without being spotted by anybody you know. You did run into a few classmates and other familiar faces, but ones that won't even bat an eye as to why you're running across the lot in heels and a black dress. You get into your car and warm it up before turning up the heat, pulling up one of your playlists and sending San a text to let him know you're leaving campus. The drive isn't so bad when your playlist is hyping you up, along with the clear highways. You've gotta cross a bridge and pay the toll on your way back, but you don't mind; you feel a sense of relief wash over you being that you've gotten yourself this far from campus.
You knew people from campus weren't fond of coming to the east side. It tailored way too much to the wealthy, hence, San's choice for tonight's dinner.
The side streets are a little too busy in the downtown area, but you finally catch sight of the restaurant on the corner of an intersection; nestled underneath a modern, upscale 5-star hotel. When you pull into the lot, San is chatting it up with the valet. He laughs and you catch that smile of his, his dimples. He's in a black button up, and black slacks. The first two buttons of his shirt are undone, the silver chain hanging around his neck— sitting prettily across his collarbones. He points at your car and signals your arrival to the valet, the staff member immediately meeting you at the driver's side when you park in front of the booth.
"Your lady has arrived." The valet says, taking your hand in his before passing you along to San and getting into your car to park it in the lot.
"Hey beautiful." San takes your hand in his and smiles down at you adoringly. "How was the drive?"
"Good." You're barely able to maintain contact because of how shy and nervous you've become being around him. He can tell, though. He chuckles and gives your hand a gentle squeeze before reassuring you with a:
"Promise I'll take care of you tonight, okay? Don't get shy on me."
"Who said I was?"
"You can barely look me in the eye, Y/N." You look up at him and try to hold eye contact, but you shrink; subtly biting onto your lip and hiding behind him when the host greets him like he's known him forever. He walks through the restaurant, heading towards the private back patio. This section is closed off and by reservation only— your guess is that San bought out the patio for your enjoyment, to ease your nerves. And you're proven right when the host slides the back door open, and there's only one table draped in white linen in the middle of the garden. There's a candle in the middle of the table and a singular red rose on your plate, San deciding to forego the additional decorations and rose petals because he didn't wanna do too much for a first dinner. He just didn't wanna overwhelm you knowing you might already be, but he hopes you know he'd take care of you in all ways if you'd let him— the roses and candles being a glimpse into that.
"The waiter will be with you both shortly." The host does a curt bow before leaving you and San in the patio.
"Choi San." You look at and he cocks a brow, trying to prevent himself from smirking too big.
"Mhm?" He looks at you.
"Why did you buy out the whole patio?!"
"To keep you comfortable." He smiles, eyes roaming your figure and the way your dress hugs you so, so beautifully.
"San." You frown a bit. "You didn't have to spend all that just for me."
"Um, yeah. I did, sweetheart." He laughs. "I wanted to. The last thing I wanted was for you to worry tonight." You slowly sit in the high chair in front of him, taking the singular rose to your nose before smiling shyly at him.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." His hands are clasped together, elbows resting on the table— his piercing eyes bore into you. "How was your day?"
"It was good. I didn't do much besides get ready for the evening. Had to tell the boys I was running off for the evening like Eunchae and Jurin." San nods and sips his water.
"Sorry love."
"For what?"
"For having you lie to your friends."
"They don't care much." You wave it off with a giggle. "How was your day?"
"Well, I was gonna hang out at Jongho's but someone told me they wanted to go to dinner last minute."
"Wonder who that could be?" You tease and he laughs a bit.
"Yeah, right? She's lucky she's cute." He teases back and the heat rises to your cheeks.
"Didn't mean to impose on your plans with the other Professor Choi."
"Never. I see him all the time, he won't mind if I leave him behind for an evening." You laugh.
"Touché." At this point, the waiter comes and sets down some complimentary edamame before taking orders. You decline any alcohol solely because of your drive home, and San follows suit. He proceeds to order the food for tonight after remembering you didn't have any specific allergies, giving him free range to order things he enjoys, but also knows you'd love.
Wagyu.
Chef's choice omakase.
Other choices of nigiri, like toro.
Uni tempura.
Squid pasta with garlic sauce.
Chilean seabass with dry miso.
It all comes out of San's mouth like the price tag is nonexistent, and you're internally screaming. How could he be so damn charming and suave? Let alone, this is how he spoils you for the first dinner?
"That's all." San smiles toothlessly before handing over the menus to the waiter. He licks his lips and shifts in his position as if he didn't just order a line of the most expensive items on the menu.
"San, this is gonna be so expensive. I can't accept this. Please let me at least pay for half."
"Uh, no. What did I tell you, Y/N? I'd take care of you tonight. I meant it. Just enjoy yourself for me." You sigh and tilt your head before playfully rolling your eyes.
"I can't with you."
"Yes, you can." He chuckles. "So, tell me."
"Hm?" You hum.
"About you."
"What about me?"
"I wanna know everything and anything about you." He gives you that look. "I wanna know what Miss Y/N is about outside of her CV." You snort at the comment, the reality of you being San's rotation student almost hitting you dead in the face until you decide to brush it off completely.
"Well, I'm the only child?" You say in a questioning tone, unsure of where to start. But, the conversation eventually flows on its own. You tell San about your mom being a single mom and how it's always been you two from the very beginning. You don't know much about your dad, but you don't mind talking about it if asked. It's not necessarily a sensitive or heavy topic for you; it's just unfortunate that you don't have anything to add simply because you don't know him. You have family nearby, but your family is small. You don't have cousins you're close to, your relatives are mostly middle-aged, older. Your grandparents were around up until you were in high school, then they both died from illnesses that got to the best of them.
Then, that was that.
You and your mom— mostly you, doing things for your own and on your own while your mom continued to work tirelessly at the hospital to keep food on the table. Rent. Necessities. You worked a few jobs throughout school to help as much as possible, but your mom always told you to put your studies first and to never force yourself if your body was too tired, too overwhelmed. It felt hard for awhile because your mom was barely around. When she was, she was tired. You felt distant, almost like you couldn't be close to your mom regardless of how hard you tried. You didn't think you'd be able to build a better relationship with her until you moved away for college. When you finally had your own space and the distance in between, your relationship blossomed and she became your bestfriend. Then, you tell San how you feel the utmost pressure to make her proud because you're the only child, the only person she can rely on in the future. The only person who can also truly disappoint her, which you don't want.
Though, you feel like you've already started wandering down that path.
You're slightly interrupted when the waiter comes to bring in half of the order, starting with the nigiri and chef's choice, setting it down in the middle of the table. You both thank him before he says he'll be right back with the rest, San giving you the priority and freedom to choose whichever you want to eat. When you start to dig in, you continue to tell San about your friends and how Jiung's been your longest friend since high school. Otherwise, there haven't been too many people you could call your close friends. You knew people, you socialized, but you weren't one to toss the 'close/good friend' term around unless you felt a genuine, real connection with someone. You do feel like you could say that for Felix, Eunchae and Jurin even though it hasn't been long since you've known them; you've clicked with them easily and well. You're grateful for it.
The conversation switches to San's point of view now, and he begins with his family dynamics. He relates to the pressure of making his parents happy as the only child, but he likes to think he's done well for himself so far. He talks about school and how brutal it was for him and his friends— San had a great mentor, but it was hours and hours of clocking in with no endpoint. Days and days of just hustling to finish and make sure he was producing amazing work. You reassure him by telling him you think it's all paid off, adding a little dash of seasoning with your 'or else we wouldn't be here, right?' playful teasing. He touches up on Jongho and their longtime friendship, followed by Mingi, Yeosang, Christopher, and now, Namjoon. He does talk about how him and Yunho used to be bestfriends, inseparable even, but he doesn't go into the details of what went down between him and Iseul.
You won't press him. You'll let him come to you when he's ready to open up about it. Even though San acts like he's fine and he's moved on [he has], you can only imagine how it feels to replay the entire situation in your head, with the two people you trusted and adored more than anything.
"So, yeah. Namjoon and I got close because he was really there for me throughout a lot of the stuff that's happened. Even just down to minuscule things for the lab, my classes— anything. He's always been there for us no matter how busy he is."
"That's good. I can tell Namjoon really cares about you guys and the students."
"He's a good guy. His wife is lucky." You laugh.
"Do you see your parents often?" You watch as San puts another helping of the pasta and fish on your plate.
"From time to time, yeah, when they're around. My dad still travels a lot for business. Even though he stopped teaching, he's on a few boards as a consultant and agrees to talk for conferences or symposiums all the time. Mom's retired so she joins along. What about you?"
"I try to see her when I can. She's worked as a nurse at this hospital all her life, basically." He nods. "So, do you and the guys all live near each other?"
"Uh, sorta? Namjoon lives a bit further down south, but Mingi, Yeosang, Chris and Jongho live in close proximity."
"When you're not at work, do you just hang out with each other?"
"For the most part. We're not always together, though. We like having our own space." He laughs. "Mingi used to pop up randomly and I had to tell him to stop doing it so often."
"Aw, he just wants your company. Don't be mean."
"I'm not mean! I just like to have my peace. Mingi is everything but peace." You laugh.
"Your home must be nice for him to be barging in like that."
"It is. I take pride in it now, not gonna lie." He sips his water, eyes gazing at you from over the rim of his glass. "You know, you're always welcome at my place." You look at him and slowly nod, trying to let the statement sink in. None of it feels weird to you; in fact, it makes you more curious to know about San's personal life. His home. What it'd be like to be in his space, alone.
"I'll keep that in mind. Might have to take you up on that one day." He smirks a bit.
"Yeah? That's kinda nice to hear. Lets me know I didn't entirely blow this." You giggle.
"Not at all." He sits back in his chair, content and satisfied from tonight's meal. He sees that you've finished everything on your plate, your attention now on the garden to your left while you sip on your water. He can't even deny how attracted he is to you, and how he has this indescribable pull to you. You're beautiful, and from your interactions, the way you speak and carry yourself, the passion behind your work, the way you care about your friends and mom— you've got a good, comforting soul that could balance his own. Almost like Yin and Yang, Tui and La. "What?" You ask him all innocently and he's struggling. He can't even help the huge smile that grows on his face when he looks at you.
"Nothing." He runs his finger across his bottom lip. "You're just.. so beautiful."
"Thank you, San." You respond softly and he feels his heart melt. The waiter comes back with the check, in which San is quick to hand over his card before you can even get your hands on it. You give him a look and he laughs, shaking his head after playfully reminding you that he'd take care of you.
"Any plans for the rest of the weekend, or next week?"
"Not really. I'll probably hang out with the boys while the girls are gone. Next week, I've got a lot of behavior to run for Sunwoo, things to prep for the class I'm TAing for." He nods.
"Always working so hard."
"Uh, yeah. Especially for you." You poke fun at him and laugh. "What about you?"
"Mm, I have to actually start prepping for the symposium because it's coming up."
"Do you have your talk ready to go?"
"Nah." He shrugs. "But, I will."
"Do you still get nervous for talks?"
"Oh yeah, absolutely."
"You look so natural when you're doing it, though. I wouldn't have expected it."
"I do. I get pretty nervous. Not as bad as before, I'm able to shake it off better now." He lets out a breath, the both of you popping the little coffee candy that came with the check.
"How bad was it before?"
"Hm." He hums and thinks about it for a second. "Right before my first lecture for the big neuroscience association conference, I almost threw up. I was so nauseated, was dry-heaving for a good minute before I could get myself together."
"What? I would have never guessed."
"Took a lot to get used to it. Still getting used to it." He smiles brightly. "But, I'm glad you think so. At least I'm doing something right." He looks at the date on his phone. "Speaking of the neuroscience association conference, the next one is coming up. Did you and your friends register to go?"
"Me, Jiung and a few others, yeah. Felix, Eunchae, Jurin and everyone else is just going to go on the trip cause they know that's where everyone will be at."
"Can't disagree, it'll be party central for the neuroscience community." You laugh.
"Can't wait to experience it." You look at him. "Will you be busy during the entire duration of the conference?"
"Mm, yeah. I've got a few other commitments and meetings. Lots of colleagues I haven't seen in awhile will be there, so I'll be catching up with them. There's also another smaller conference nearby that I'll be speaking at upstate before I head back down for the main one."
"Busy you."
"Maybe. I'll always have time for you, though." He winks and you laugh it off. At this point, San stands and stretches before reaching out his hand for you to grab. "Ready to go?"
"I am." You take his hand and stand in front, letting San pull you flush against his body; hands resting on the small of your back.
"Is it okay if I kiss you?" His hand comes up to cup your cheek, thumb caressing the surface. Eyes examining your features closely. "Kinda wanna re-do the first kiss. Wanna do it right this time." You bite your lip and nod, eyes locked onto his lips as he leans forward. His lips meet you in a soft, tender kiss— one that isn't rushed, one that releases all your feelings into the universe, the galaxies. One that feels so natural, so meant to be.
One that gives you butterflies,
One that also unravels Pandora's box.
He holds the kiss for longer than expected, letting his lips mold into yours delicately. When he pulls away, he quickly reattaches his lips to yours; indulging in small sweet, repeated kisses before he kisses your forehead. He pulls back completely to look at you again, and he's admiring every inch of you from underneath the moon. You watch his jaw slightly tick, Adam's apple bob up and down; eyes full of desire. Need. Encompassing you, all of you.
"Hope you enjoyed dinner."
"I did, San. Thank you, again."
"No, thank you for joining me." He flashes you a cute, toothless smile before lacing his hand with yours. "Shall we? Do you want dessert or something?"
"I'm good, I'm stuffed. The food was so good." You pat your tummy as the both of you walk out of the restaurant and head towards valet, thanking the staff on your way out.
"Yeah, it was. Glad you're satisfied and happy." He presses a kiss to the surface of your hand just before greeting the valet. He runs to bring over your car first, parking it off to the side by the entrance to the lot to give you and San some time to say goodbye. San pops the driver's door open, allowing you to slide in while he hangs by the door.
"Thank you again for tonight." You buckle your seat belt and look at him.
"Course. Drive safely, okay? Text me when you get home please."
"I will."
"Good." He smirks before dipping down to give you another kiss on the lips. He shuts the door and gives you one last wave before walking towards his own car and letting you drive off.
The butterflies that man gives you is insane.
You can't even help but smile widely during the drive home, recounting each moment of the night and how you've quickly grown comfortable with San as a person. He's easy to talk to, easy to get along with.
Easy to be attracted to. Easy to be charmed by.
Easy to love.
You see it. You see why people love him and adore him, you see the bright aura he has. You see why people respect him.
You see yourself and him.
And the thought never leaves your mind once after that. You want San, just as he with you.
You head home alone that night, and the idea about being alone with San more— off campus, anywhere but there— becomes more and more enticing. It doesn't leave you for a few days, even while San is trying to give you the space to take things slowly. He's never pressured you into moving at a pace you didn't like, always gently touching you but never doing anything that would make you overwhelmed. Not only does he know you two have to be careful, but most importantly, he knows all of this is a lot. In general.
So, he sticks to the cute texts and phone calls.
Quick mini-meetings in his office in between commitments, especially during the rare moment of an empty basement. Quick hello's in said office that result in chaste kisses and you darting out before anyone can think twice about why you've been in Professor Choi's office twice [or thrice] in one day.
You do want to be alone with him more, though. You want to see what possibilities lie behind closed doors, the ways you both could show each other your feelings. You want to see where else this could take you two, how it could continue to grow. Where things could head once you two are alone in a space together, with no background noise. No outsiders.
you: are you in your office?
san: sure am!
"San?" You poke your head into his office before sliding in and locking the door. The basement was incredibly [and unusually] empty for a weekday, San's office door and the walls the only thing separating you two from each other.
"Hey." He smiles from his desk, immediately pushing his chair back so he can stand and pull you close. "Wasn't expecting a visit from you right now."
"Sorry." You pout a bit and he shakes his head before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "I should've asked if you were free first."
"Mm, well." He hums. "I've always got time for you, remember?" You giggle. "Is everything okay?"
"Kinda?"
"Kinda? What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He sits back on the edge of his desk, hand pulling you towards him and slotting you in between his legs.
"I wanted to ask you something."
"Mhm?" He says in a sing-song tone, curious about what you surprisingly popped in for.
"Can I come over?" His eyes widen a bit; not because he doesn't want you to, no. But because he's been dying to have you over. He's just been waiting until you seemed more ready to take that step.
"Tonight?" You nod, playing with his hands. "Of course you can." He pulls his hands away just to rest them behind your back. "Sure you wanna?"
"I do." He chuckles.
"I'll pick you up this time? Down the street from your building."
"Okay."
"Is that all that's been bothering you?"
"I just wasn't sure how to ask without seeming too eager, or desperate, or—"
"Hey." He laughs a bit, brushing your hair away from your face. "Never that. I've been wanting you over, but I wanted to wait until you seemed more comfortable." You relax in his hold and sink into his touch more, fingers threading through the ends of his hair.
"I wanna stay." You boldly let out, causing San to smile.
"You can stay. Whatever you want. Have more than enough room for you, sweetheart." He leans forward to meet you in a sweet, simple peck. "What time do you want me to come get you?"
"I should finish a few things before leaving."
"Just text me then, hm? I'll come whenever you're ready."
"Okay." You look at him before smirking. "That's all I wanted to talk about, Professor Choi." He chuckles, giving your side a good squeeze while biting his bottom lip.
"You're gonna be the death of me."
"Likewise." You playfully tap his nose before planting a kiss on his lips. "I'll text you later."
"Leaving already?" He pouts as you slowly pry yourself off of him because you're in his office. On campus grounds. You have to, even if you don't want to.
"I gotta get back to work, just like you do." You give him a look before waving by the door. "See you later."
"Mhm." He responds in a sing-song tone, crossing his arms tightly against his chest while he watches you walk out.
The butterflies you give him are insane.
After another long ass day of work and classes, you quickly grab dinner with your friends before rushing off to finish the rest of your assignments. You hop in a long, hot steamy shower— exfoliating and moisturizing like crazy. You strut around in your towel, throwing your toiletries into a huge bag, along with some clothes just in case.
You can never go wrong with an emergency set of clothes and toiletries, right?
You send San a text to let him know you're about to be ready and throw on a lazy fit, feeling comfortable enough to not have to dress up for him during an occasion like this. It's a set of black wide-legged sweats and a cropped half-zip sweater, slipping into your platform Uggs for extra comfort. You step through your little cloud of perfume before grabbing your bag and heading out.
Ring, ring.
"Hey." You pick up the call, your eyes quickly scanning your surroundings. There isn't anyone in close proximity, but you still feel like someone might've caught onto the phone call coming through. Like someone could be listening, could be nearby, could be onto you.
"Where are you? I'm right outside the lot, leading into the residential street."
"I'm on my way. Someone might see you!"
"Y/N, I promise. No one's out here. This part of the street is pretty dead."
"Okay, but people coming in and out of the buildings?"
"I promise you it's fine and out of view. Hurry. I miss you." You roll your eyes when you hear the slight whine in his tone.
"Choi San, I swear." You mutter his name so lowly, paranoid of someone accidentally hearing you call your professor's name on the phone in passing.
"Mm, when you say my name like that, though." He wears a shit-eating smirk underneath the black mask he's wearing. Truthfully, he does look a little suspect hanging out in his car off to the side of the lot in a hat and black mask. He uses his second car, a Porsche Taycan, that he doesn't really take to campus— usually drives it when he wants to go for a drive down the highway by himself late at night, or when it's time to kick it with the boys. He's certain none of them are lingering around campus since they're always so quick to book it after their last meetings or classes. It's the best way he could conceal himself right now, he thinks.
It's all good.
"I'm coming out the side door. I'll be there in a second." You hastily hang up and tuck your phone in, feeling some kind of relief that you're almost at the stairs that'll lead you to the side—
"Yo!" Felix calls out with Jiung next to him. "Where are you going? We were just coming to bother you." He furrows his brows, eyes shifting to the huge tote bag you're carrying.
"I.. need to go to the lab."
"The lab? Now?" Jiung tilts his head. They're a little confused, but they're also not entirely surprised— people were in and out of the labs doing work at all times of the day. Some were night owls and preferred doing work late nights to avoid fighting over equipment and space during the day. It wasn't uncommon.
What is confusing is your large ass bag, though. For what?
"Yeah, I gotta check on one of the mice. The vet said they looked sick." Jiung and Felix nod as they take the lie. Again.
"Why are you bringing a big ass bag, though? Are you hauling the mice away or something?" Felix snorts.
"No, I have some supplies in here that I'm bringing over. We're building new behavior arenas now that the foundation of the rig is done." Felix shrugs.
"Oh, okay. Do you need us to walk you?"
"No!" You respond a bit too quickly that they're back to giving you weird, confused looks. "No— Sorry." You smile. "I'll be fine. I think Sunwoo has been there anyway. Thank you, though."
"Mm, okay then." Jiung shrugs. "Just let us know if you need us to come get you?" He pops another apple slice in his mouth.
"I will." You wave as you walk through the door and head down the steps in a hurry.
"Was Y/N being a little weird or..?" Felix asks, but Jiung shrugs.
"Eh, she's probably a little overwhelmed or something." He turns down the hall. "Let's just go see what Eunchae is doing."
You finally dart out the side door, doing a light jog over the grassy area and taking a shortcut towards the street that leads into the residential area from your building. You see San parked behind another car near the first house on the street, and San can see you making your way over through the rearview mirror. He smiles to himself when you near the car, pulling on the door handle to slide into the passenger's seat. His car smells like a mix of his air freshener, along with a hint of his cologne that you've slowly become obsessed with.
"Hey beautiful." He leans over the middle console and pulls down his mask. He puckers up his lips and it makes you giggle just as you lean in to give him what he wants. He doesn't pull back right away, no. Instead, he deepens the kiss and slips some tongue in, a shaky exhale released in between as his hand comes up to caress your cheek.
"Maybe we should leave."
"Mhm." San teases as he continues to kiss you, smirking into the kiss.
"San."
"Just one more." He chuckles before dipping forward and kissing you passionately again. You bite onto your bottom lip when he finally sits back in the driver's seat and rests his head against the headrest, admiring how cute you look in your leggings and hoodie. "You're cute."
"Stop." You giggle and shake your head. "Drive before someone sees us."
"Yes ma'am." He starts up the car and begins to drive to his destination. You're not really sure what to expect since it's your first time going to his place. You knew San was well off, but you didn't know what you were walking into— did he live in a modern, expensive ass apartment? Was it a penthouse? A regular single family home? You'll finally see why Mingi likes to barge in from time to time. "How was your day?" You're pulled out of your thoughts when he chimes in with the question.
"It was okay. I ran into Jiung and Felix as I was leaving." He leans against his window with one hand on the wheel, letting out a breathy laugh.
"Oh? How was that?"
"I don't know? I think they believed me. I said I was heading into lab." San shrugs.
"That's a good reason since it isn't uncommon. I'm sure it's fine, angel." He looks at you before returning his attention to the road in front of him. "It's pretty hot seeing you work so hard in my lab."
"Shut up, Professor Choi." He bites on his bottom lip before slipping his hand on your thigh. He gives it a good squeeze as he continues to drive in silence, the music softly filling the void in the car.
"Did you eat?" You nod.
"Mhm. Just grabbed something from the dining hall."
"Good."
"Did you?" He nods.
"Mhm. Just wanted to make sure you were okay, though."
"I am. Thank you." You watch as the surroundings pass you by while San takes you down towards another neighborhood near campus. A lot of other professors live closeby since the university has housing assistance for them as well. You just hope San's home is one of the select few that's isolated and isn't heavily populated with said group of professors.
When San pulls into his garage, you're a little surprised at the house. You're in awe because you wonder how San makes use of all this space living alone. It's a beautiful single family home, and you're sure the decision to buy this had come from Professor Lee when they had been married. You wonder if he still holds onto those memories, or why he didn't end up moving to another place. Perhaps—
"Y/N?" You snap out of it and turn to San, who has already parked the car and is unbuckling his seatbelt. "You okay?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was spacing out."
"You sure you're okay?" He chuckles. The both of you step out of the car and head into the hallway that leads straight into his bar and kitchen area first. "I can practically hear you thinking, sweetheart." He kicks off his shoes and you follow suit, San waiting for you before walking deeper into his house. You look up at him and he gives you a small smile, holding out his hand for you to take. "Relax. You can ask me anything." He pulls you flush against him, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. "Okay?" He tilts your chin up and presses a kiss against your lips, which surely does put you at ease.
"I'm just curious about some stuff."
"Like?" You step into the living room and set your bag down on the couch temporarily. Your eyes roam around, scanning the sleek and simple decorations. It gives off a classy, modern look; room full of brown, white and black themes, wood hints.
"I'm not sure I know how to ask." You rub at your arms while San grabs two wine glasses from the cabinets and sets them down on the island counter.
"Ask away. I won't mind. I think I already know where you're going with it, anyway." You walk towards the island and rest your elbows against the marble countertop. "Is wine good, or do you want something else?"
"Wine is good." You pause, fully taking in what San is wearing as he continues to move around the kitchen. He's casually dressed in black Essentials sweats with a matching black tee. He sets his hat off to the side, running a hand through his soft, black hair. You think San is attractive during the day with his usual button-up top and slacks, but this— this was even more attractive to you and had you buckling at the knees the more you ogled at him. "Don't you get lonely being in this big house? I-I mean, you used to live here with her, right?" You chime in, hoping not to seem too spaced out and in your thoughts again.
"Mhm. I've gotten used to it, though." He says with a soft smile. "By the way, white or red?"
"White, if you have any please." He nods.
"I got you." He digs into his wine cooler beneath the island.
"Why didn't you wanna sell this and buy another house?" He shrugs.
"To be honest, I've thought about it. Every corner of this house used to remind me of her and I'd hate it." He pours wine into your glasses. "But, I really do love the house and the space it gives me. I just flipped it into something I'd be happy and comfortable with, and I've moved past all of that. It just feels like my space now."
"That's good. As long as you're okay. You decorated your home beautifully too, San."
"I am, yeah. Thank you, pretty girl." He smiles and comes around the corner to wrap his arms around you from behind. He kisses the back of your head as you relax in his hold, letting out a small exhale. "Is there anything else you're curious about?"
"Not right now." San chuckles a bit.
"Okay, well. I'll be ready for the next time." He kisses your temple. "Why don't you get comfy so we can relax and watch a movie? Sip on some wine, eat some cheese and crackers." You giggle and turn to face him in his hold.
"You're gonna prep some cheese and crackers, too?"
"Why not?" He chuckles. "Let me take you upstairs so you can get comfortable." You grab your things and take his hand, silently following San up to the second level of his home. There's a little loft that he's converted into a small gaming area— another smaller L-shaped sectional couch nestled against the walls with his gaming consoles on the shelf beneath the TV, board games neatly stacked away. There's a guest room to your right, his office to the left. You peek and find a large bookshelf covering the back wall behind his large desk and computer set up. "Here's my room." He takes you into his large master bedroom; sheets neatly made, large master bathroom off to the right corner of the room. "Bathroom's through there if you need anything." He looks at you. "Or, you can use the guest room if you feel more comfortable doing so."
"Thank you."
"Course. I'll be downstairs, okay?" He kisses you on the lips. You watch as he heads back downstairs to give you some privacy, returning your attention to the interior of his room. It's a little weird when you think that this used to be a space shared by Iseul— she'd be in here all the time, closet partially hers, bed shared with her. You brush off the thoughts and set your things aside before walking into his spotless bathroom to freshen up even though you just took a shower. San's got his own skincare, cologne and other hair products neatly organized off to the side. You complete your nightly routine for your skincare and slip into more appropriate pajamas in an effort to wind down and get cozy for bedtime. When you step out of the bathroom, you hear the tv echoing from downstairs, along with what sounds like San humming to a song. You head down the steps to see San setting up the last bits of his cute cheese and crackers display, wiping off the crumbs on his island counter. "Hey. You all good?"
"Mhm." You giggle, following him to the couch. You plop onto the open space just as San jogs back to bring over the wine he poured earlier. "What're we watching?"
"Good question." He says, flipping through the channels while sitting next to you and sipping on his wine. "Should we put on something cute or..?"
"Have you ever watched Worst Ex Ever?"
"Oh— ah, okay. So we're going the true crime route." You laugh and shake your head.
"I watched that, but I wanted to watch the other installment, Worst Roommate Ever." He nods and throws it on.
"Yeah, I'm all for it!" He kicks off the first episode and leans back against the couch, one arm draped over you from behind, giving you the opportunity to scoot closer to him.
As the episode continues, you find that San is actually really interested in these things— engaging in conversation about your thoughts, why certain events happened in the episode, motives, thought processes— you love how he carries the conversation with you. You enjoy watching the show a little too much with him that time seems to fly right on by despite the hour-long episodes. You'd laugh and giggle when San pouts and whines when he's guessed wrong, resulting in you two sharing cute, little intimate kisses in between. After you both finish your wine and go through most of his charcuterie board, you snuggle up closer to San. You've got your legs folded up on the couch, with San's hand grazing your thigh every time he dips forward for a kiss. You've gone through 2 and a half episodes before you're yawning and giving San tired eyes, so he pauses the show; hand gently rubbing at your thigh.
"Tired?" You nod.
"Kinda tired, yeah." He chuckles and shuts off the TV.
"Let's get upstairs then." You help him clean up the wine glasses and the board even though he insisted he had everything under control. But, as he steps back and takes a moment to watch you rinse out the dishes and load them into the dishwasher, he finds his heart skipping a few beats. He likes seeing this; he likes seeing you, in his kitchen, as if you were always meant to be in this home. With him. It just felt so.. natural and domestic. It's been so long since he's genuinely felt that way. You give him a small smile when you've finished, beginning to climb up the steps as San shuts off his lights and makes sure all the doors are locked. You head into his room and start to brush your teeth, San following suit next to you. You don't even think twice about the whole thing, even as you walk towards his bed with him. He pulls back the covers and you slide in, staring at the ceiling above while he cozies up to you.
"San."
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm ready to ask the next question. But, you don't have to answer if you don't want to." You turn towards him and lay on your stomach. He chuckles a bit and brushes your hair back, reassuring you to continue on. You said you'd wait for him to open up, but you couldn't help it— you were curious, and you felt like you were getting deeper into this thing with San. Maybe it was time.
"I'll answer, but I might not go into detail. How about that?" He already knows where this is going. And with you, he wants to be as transparent as possible without having to relive that part of his life again. Despite his feelings for you, he still needs to hold space for himself especially with that aspect. He doesn't wanna undo the work he's done on himself.
"Okay."
"Go for it, angel."
"What was your relationship like with her?" He lets out a breath as he rests his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbow propped up on the pillow.
"Mm, well. I'd say it was good until she realized it wasn't me she wanted this entire time. We were one of those couples who moved quickly and unfortunately, it just didn't work out well for us at all. We ended just as quickly as we blossomed." You look at him.
"So, when did you meet and when did everything happen?"
"We met in grad school. We started going out maybe a year after we had met and been good friends. Me, her and Yunho were always together. Another year after that, we're married. Things were good even though things were moving fast. Parents liked each other, we bought this house. It felt like things were falling into place. We were doing a lot of 'future' talks, even thought about kids at one point." You continue to listen intently while San goes on, his hand tracing faint shapes on your clothed back. "But then, the postdoc years happened. We were both busy, but me especially. I hadn't realized it then, but I was putting work and the lab before anything and anyone else. I kinda can't even blame her for acting the way she did because I should've paid more attention to her as her husband."
"You can't blame yourself, San."
"I don't." He smiles a bit. "Not anymore, at least. In general, I should've just paid more attention." He lets out a small sigh. "I knew her and Yunho had gotten close so I didn't think much of it when I started to see them hanging out more without me, or starting things without me. The busier I got, the more she leaned on Yunho. He was there for her when I wasn't. That's what she wanted and needed the most, and he was there to provide that for her. He was able to."
"Did she ever talk to you about it?"
"She was the type who couldn't communicate well. She'd harbor everything until that one thing triggers her and makes her blow up." You nod. "Whenever I felt tension or whenever I felt her being off, I'd ask, and her response was always 'i'm just tired' or 'too many things going on with my project, it's overwhelming.' There were only a few occasions when she told me she felt like I wasn't there for her enough. I wanted to fix it, but she brushed it off and said it was fine, that this was just our life together." San shakes his head. "Not once did I ever wanna give up on her. I wanted to fix it. I tried everything to be better for her, but I was too late, I guess. I found out about her and Yunho seeing each other behind my back, I called the divorce. She tried running back a few times but we'd always end up worse than the last time. We'd yell, we'd argue. I'd be hurt all over again, re-opening that same wound over and over again. Had me thinking I had a chance to actually fix us, only to be shot down. Then later, her and Yunho eloped and got married."
"Fuck." You mutter. "Sorry— I just, I don't even know what to say."
"The worst part is that she blamed me and painted me to be the bad guy. It got so toxic, it really messed me up. She would tell people this false narrative that I always fought with her and that I was unfair. My priorities were everywhere. She told people she properly broke it off before seeing Yunho when that wasn't the case. I dunno why she said and did all those things. Maybe she was angry at me for not trying the way Yunho did? Maybe she just hated me?"
"You and Yunho are two very different people, and you did try to fix it. She just wanted to be a brat about it. She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too." You frown. "I'm sorry, San."
"For what, baby?" He laughs a bit. "It is what it is, it happened and I'm past it."
"Yeah, but still." You play with his hair. "What was Yunho doing in all of this?"
"Denying the affair even though I caught them. He kept trying to apologize but there was always a 'but.' I mean, what else can he do? That's his girl so he's going with it."
"Sick." You sigh. "Can't believe them. They don't deserve you anyway."
"You're right. They don't. I have my people by my side." He taps the tip of your nose. "Now, you."
"You do have me." You lay your head down on the pillow while looking at him.
"I do?" He teasingly leans forward, inches away from your lips.
"Mhm."
"Good. That's all I need." His eyes shift down to your lips briefly before shifting back up to you. "Is there anything else you wanna ask?"
"Hm. Do you really mean that?"
"What? That you're all I need?" You nod. "I don't lie. Ever." He chuckles, caressing your cheek sweetly.
"Just kinda hard to believe hearing it from you."
"That's okay. I mean—" He whispers, pressing light, feathery kisses to your cheeks, corner of your lips. "I can show you instead, if you'd let me?"
"Show me." You whisper back, tilting your head back to give San more access to your neck, to you. One second, he's kissing up on your neck with your hands tangled in the ends of his hair; the next, your tongues are fighting for dominance in a heated kiss. Everything feels so calculated, so full of genuine emotion and desire. San's hands travel up your shirt, massaging your breasts before letting his thumb play around with your nipples. You let out a breathy moan in between kisses, back arching in response to his touch. He carefully removes your shirt and tosses it aside, mouth now latching onto one hardened bud. His tongue flicks around, working in circular motions before pulling back with a pop— earning a louder moan to slip from your lips, goosebumps rising on your skin. He repeats the motions on the other, taking his time to lick and suck around your nipple before pulling back.
San is quick to reattach his lips to yours; this kiss holding more fervor, more intensity, as his hand slides down to completely slide your bottoms off. You work to remove his shirt, the both of you bare in a matter of seconds.
Clothes littering his bedside.
He tries not to break the kiss, even as he crawls on top of you, fingers dipping into your heat and in between your folds to get a sense of how wet you already are.
"Oh my god." You cry. San's cock is painfully hard, hitting your thigh while he continues to pepper your jaw, neck, with kisses.
"Can I have you, baby?" He whispers in your ear.
"Y-yes." You can barely make out from the overwhelming desire, excitement. Thrill.
This was actually happening.
San hovers slightly to slide his nightstand drawer out, but you stop him before he can grab a condom.
"I'm on the IUD." You shake your head. "Don't need it."
"You sure?" He asks once more for final confirmation, and you give it to him with a nod. He pauses, eyes skimming through your features again before pecking you on the lips, hand coming down to stroke his length. You drool at the sight, admiring how perfectly long and thick he is. He smirks, tapping his heavy cock against your pussy a few times.
Just to be a fucking tease.
He starts slow— pressing his cock in between your folds, gliding up and down.
"Mm— god." He huffs. "You feel perfect already." San watches the way your eyes roll back, mouth open as you let out small whines and whimpers at the feeling. He nudges your clit with his tip as he continues to slide up and down, earning a loud mewl to release from your lips. His other hand is now gripping your jaw to force you to maintain eye contact with him— it's not a harsh grip, but it's enough to keep you clenching around nothing. Enough to keep you writhing for more underneath him. He rubs the tip against your sensitive nub directly, another shaky moan releasing from your lips.
"Fuck, San." You hiss, feeling the pleasure build right at your core with the way he's rubbing against you; legs cocked all the way open for him.
"So beautiful. Think I can make you cum like this, angel?" You take your hand and wrap it around his base, letting him thrust into your hand as he continues his movements between your folds. "Feels so fucking good. Can't even imagine how you'd feel wrapped around me. Hm?" He hums, head kicking back in pleasure while trying to maintain his composure. Because fuck, he can feel himself dangerously close to the edge, but he's hanging on so he can feel you— all of you.
"San, San— oh god, San." You cry repeatedly, feeling your clit ready to explode. His tip is hitting it at the right pace, hitting you in all the right spots at the right pace. You move your hips upward, grinding into his length as he continues; mouth slacked open from the overwhelming pleasure. "You're gonna make me cum."
"Yeah? Use me. Wanna see how pretty you look when you cum." He stills and watches as you use his cock to reach your first orgasm of the night, pressing him down with the right pressure onto your heat as you grind at a quicker pace— finally toppling over the edge. His eyes glow when he watches your mouth slack open from the silent moan you release, hands coming down to ease your twitching body. "God, you're perfect." He presses feathery kisses across your jaw, chin.
Neck.
Coming right below to your sweet spot below the ear.
"Ready for me?" He asks near your ear, gently nibbling your earlobe and giving you chaste kisses on said sweet spot. You nod, giving him the green light to move further. He lines himself at your entrance before gently pushing himself in, loud moans escaping the more he buries himself to the hilt. "Baaaby." San's moan drags out as he eases himself into you. "Shit, you're so tight." He slowly pumps in and out, eyes glued to his cock as you coat it with your slickness. "Feeling okay?"
"Mhm. Feels so full." You almost whine. His hands are now pressed onto your inner thighs to make sure you keep yourself open for him. He rolls his hips into you as he hovers over your body and locks you into another kiss. He doesn't waste any time picking up his pace, the way you whine and beg, beg and whine— it drives him crazy.
"Take me. You can do it, sweetheart." His thumb presses down on your bottom lip, tongue licking into your mouth just as he devours you in a sloppy, wet kiss. You let out a strangled, lewd moan when he starts pounding into you harder, deeper; sounds of skin slapping against skin bouncing off the walls. Pussy squelching. San's name being repeated like a song, a mantra.
The noise is nothing short of pornographic.
"Please. More. Give it to me." You plead. "Feels too good."
"Shit— Y/N, jesus fucking christ." San groans when he slowly pulls out just to the tip, creamy mess lathering the top of his dick like icing. "Gonna make me cum." He pounds back into you at an angle where he can reach all your spots. He lowers himself back down to kiss you, fucking into you while expertly rubbing away at your aching clit.
San is so, so good.
"Want you to cum in me, San."
"Yeah? You did so well for me, baby. I'll fill you up real good. Just how you want it."' After two, three more hard thrusts, you find yourself unraveling for the second time. And this time, it comes crashing down harder, your walls squeezing and constricting around him. You're digging your nails deep into San's back, moaning into his mouth as he continues to chase his high. "I'm cumming— fuck." He lets out a loud, breathy moan as he stills; milking every last bit of himself into you. He buries himself in the crook of your neck, pressing kisses to the surface before coming up to kiss you softly on the lips. "You okay, baby?" He smiles.
"Mhm." He presses a few more repeated, tender kisses to your lips before running off to the bathroom to help clean you up. You lay back on your tummy as San slips himself back under the sheets, sitting back against the headboard. He sighs, black glasses perched on his nose while the sheets are pulled up to his hips. You watch as he pulls his laptop and sits it on his lap before typing away, letting out a small giggle at the way he's working.
"Do you always work naked like that? Especially after what just happened?" You tease. San smirks before giving your head a playful but gentle rub.
"Only if you're around."
"You're sick." He laughs.
"Why, is it distracting?" You giggle and shake your head, shoving your face further down into the pillow to avoid eye contact.
"No." You mumble into the pillow.
"Then, why can't you look at me?" You peek from the pillow, catching San looking straight down at you with a small smile on his face. "Gotta beg for a kiss, too?" You roll your eyes and shift upwards to give him a peck on the lips before sinking back down into the sheets. "Good girl."
"In all seriousness though, do you always have a ton of work to catch up on at night?"
"Mm, I just prefer to catch up on things at night. Sometimes, it's easier to get through it when I'm winding down." He lets out a small sigh as he continues to scroll through his inbox and reply to a few emails. He also needs to work on some more grant-related things that he's been kinda putting off. "No biggie, though." He looks at you. "Getting sleepy now?"
"A bit. Good thing I caught up on everything before leaving."
"How'd you know you'd be busy?" He laughs a bit.
"You're so annoying. Plus, I'd rather not do my homework around you."
"Why? I can be of help."
"No, Professor Choi. Leave me to my own work." You mutter as you turn the other way and shut your eyes for a little longer. San lets out a small laugh before typing away on his laptop. It isn't long before you've stopped moving and he hears your soft breathing against the pillow, causing him to smile to himself. He leans over to press a kiss against your head, whispering a quick 'goodnight beautiful' before resuming his work. He works for another 15 minutes before he feels exhaustion taking over his body. He shuts off his laptop and sets it aside, snuggling under the covers and pulling you close as he quickly drifts off to sleep with you in his arms.
When the next morning comes, you wake up from the best sleep you've had in awhile. The sheets are keeping you warm and cozy, the mattress feels perfect against your body— everything feels perfect, except there's no San and you're yearning for him already.
You've barely been awake and all you want is San.
Luckily for you, you hear his footsteps as he comes up the steps right at that moment. When he turns into the room, he's already dressed in today's attire: a cream-colored long-sleeve henley top and jeans.
"Hey." San sits on the edge of the bed and runs his soft hand up and down your bare back. You look at him lazily, threatening to fall back asleep with the way his fingers lightly run across the surface.
"Hi." You look at him sweetly and he feels his heart melt. He could get used to this.
"Going back to sleep?"
"Mm." You stretch a bit and sit up, grabbing the covers to shield your naked body. "I should probably get up and get ready to head back."
"Do you have to?" He whines.
"Yes." You giggle. "My friends are probably gonna try and bother me before class. And in case you've forgotten, sir, I have to help Sunwoo fix the 2P for our work in your lab."
"Sexy."
"You're too much." You tease, making San chuckle. "Do you have meetings in between class today?"
"Mm, yeah. A few. I have to meet with Chris and Jongho about this ongoing collaboration discussion and some last minute symposium things, then I have to meet with some donors."
"Goodluck."
"Thank you, baby." He caresses your chin before kissing your forehead. "Come downstairs when you're done getting ready."
"Okay." You stretch as San heads to his office really quickly before heading back down to the kitchen. You strut to bathroom to wash up and get ready for your day, throwing on the same outfit you had on when San picked you up. After gathering your things and fixing San's bed, you head downstairs and find that San's got a cup of coffee and a breakfast plate fixed for you. He's standing near the counter, sipping his coffee while scrolling through his phone.
"Breakfast?" He smiles at you before wrapping an arm around you, pulling you in for kiss.
"Thank you."
Even though things feel too good to be true, you could definitely get used to this.
—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd @vixensss @santineez @nopension
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#ateez#choi san#san x reader#choi san x reader#ateez fanfic#kpop imagines#kpop#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san fluff#san smut#choi san angst#choi san fluff#choi san smut#hwaslayer: wildfire
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if you're still taking them I would love to make a request for Eddie and Roan! do you know how sometimes little kids will call their parents workplace just to talk about the most random things or just ask some totally super important question? I feel like roan would do that with the reader and Eddie
thank you for your request!! eddie and roan —roan learns how to use the phone, 1.3k
Eddie used to feel nervous when the phone rang for him at work. "Call for baby Munson!" shouted across the shop while Eddie was usually flat on his back under a truck or elbow deep in a scooter engine, he'd get this pit in his stomach thinking something was wrong.
It was usually daycare. Roan's sick, Roan's wet herself and her spare clothes aren't here, is Roan allergic to veggie sticks? Because she's saying she is.
But nowadays, a phone rings for him and it's almost always you with something nice to say. You miss him. You've been thinking about him. All manner of gooey soft confession that has him clutching the phone like a loser, desperate for your voice.
He springs away from his lunch when he's called. Darwin gives Eddie a funny look as he passes the phone.
Eddie shrugs it off. "Hello?" he asks. "Y/N?"
"It's me!"
Eddie feels his eyebrows leap up. "Hi, me." Roan hadn't ever used the phone unassisted, to his memory. "Where's mom?"
"She's trying to fix your hair dryer."
Eddie hears it, then, the roaring blow in the background. "Why does it sound like that?"
"She dropped it. I think she's sad."
"Ro, I fixed it!" you shout, followed by an even louder howling of air, and a heavy silence. "Okay, I didn't."
"Is that why you called me?" Eddie asks, bemused.
"No, I called you because I want to know how they make corndogs. How do they get the hot dog inside of the corn, dad?"
Eddie puts his hand on the wall to steady himself as he laughs. "You wanna know how they make corndogs? Are you gonna make some?"
"I could if I knew how!" she stresses. "I'd ask mom, but she's pre-oc-u-pied."
"That's a big word, babe, where'd you learn that one?" Eddie asks, impressed.
"Dad, corndogs!"
"Right, right. Okay, well. They put the hot dog on the stick first, and then the corn part is actually batter. They roll the hotdog around in the batter and cook them together in the fryer. So it isn't the hotdog going into the corn, it's actually corn going on the hotdog."
"Batter like for cakes?"
"No," he laughs fondly. "And it's not sweet corn, babe, it's something called cornmeal. Maybe we can make some this week, wouldn't that be fun? Then you can see how they make them for real. I think that would be super fun."
His bubbly tone attracts the attention and subsequent laughter of his colleague. He throws them all the bird, totally content and more than happy with his life and his curious girl.
"Yes," Roan cheers, dragging the 's' syllable until she's out of breath, "oh my god that would be so fun!"
"Okay, then that's what we'll do. Are you being good for mom?"
"I'm being awesome." There's a weird crunching noise. "Did you hear that? I think she put the screwdriver in the hairdryer again."
"Again?" Eddie asks worriedly.
Roan must put the phone down. Eddie genuinely can't hear a thing, until you pick up the receiver and say, "Hallo?"
"You blowing up the house?"
You make a pleased noise that has his heart doubling in size. "Hi, Eddie. I'm having a technological mishap, but rest assured, we are in no danger of explosion. Anymore. What did you call for? It's lunch, isn't it?"
"Actually, Roan called me. She wanted to know how to make corndogs."
"You do know everything," you say. "Go and eat your lunch, baby. We'll still be here when you get home, yeah? I love you. Roan, come and tell daddy you love him before we hang up."
A small silence. "Dad?" Roan asks.
"Yep, still here."
"I love you, okie dokie? Please come home in an hour."
Eddie laughs warmly. It's more like four hours, but whatever she wants to think is what he'll tell her. "I love you. Tell Y/N I love her, too, will you? Thank you."
"Yes!" Her voice comes quieter, "I love you," Roan says to you.
"I love you, too. Let's make dinner."
You must think he's said goodbye, because the phone gets a knock and the dial tone sounds.
—
You're sitting at your desk shovelling pretzels into your mouth while you click around your emails when the phone rings. You slide it between your ear and shoulder, pausing your frankly messy chewing. "Hello and good afternoon, Y/N L/N speaking, how can I help?"
"Y/N?" Roan says worriedly.
"Roan? What's the matter?"
"Oh, it is you! It didn't sounded like you at first, that's weird."
"Sorry, gorgeous, I was using my voice for fancy grown ups."
She giggles like this is the funniest thing you've ever said to her, "You're being funny," she praises.
You're secretly incredibly pleased. Making your six year old laugh never gets old. "So nothing is wrong, then? You know, those numbers on the fridge are for emergencies."
"This is an emergency."
"Yeah, I bet. What's going on? Where's dad?"
"He's making toffee cake for you. I was helping him do the buttercream but my arms got tired from whisking."
"Is that why you're calling me?"
"Yeah."
You dig for a saltier pretzel and chew thoughtfully. "What's the tiredest part? Your shoulders?"
"And my fingers."
"Asked daddy to kiss 'em better?"
"I would but he's trying to be perfect about the cake. It looks yummy."
"Did you get to lick the bowl?"
"Yeah, and dad let me eat a spoon of the melted chocolate. It was pretty great."
You grin into the receiver. "I bet it was amazing. Maybe you can try and rest your poor arms. Make daddy pour you a big glass of cranberry juice with the heart shaped ice cubes and watch TV until I come home, okay? That's an order."
"Okay," she laughs. "When are you coming home?"
"I can leave in about twenty minutes, and the drive home takes another twenty, so…" You check the time on your computer. "I think by five."
"Ugh, that's forever away."
"I know. Do what I said, okay? Sit down on the couch. I can have a little look at your arms when I come home, maybe we can have a pamper night tonight. We can use some of my fancy lotion and rub it in like a massage," you say.
"That sounds nice," she hums.
"Alright, sweetheart. Listen, can I talk to dad before I go back to work?"
"Yep, yep." You know what's coming as soon as she inhales. "Daddy!" she bellows at the top of her lungs, "Y/N's on the phone!"
It's flattering how swiftly he gets there. "Hey?" he asks.
"Hi, do we need anything for me to grab on the way home? I know you ran out of deodorant, was there anything else?"
"Nothing I can think of. You okay?"
"I'm awesome. I told Ro you'd make her a big cup of juice for her sore arms."
"She told you about those, huh?" He kisses her audibly. "She's the best mixer ever. I was thinking we'd change her name to kitchen aid."
You choke on a pretzel. Coughing, you laugh through a chastisement. "You leave her name alone. Roan is a nice name all by itself."
"If you insist," he says grandly. "See you in an hour? I've got a surprise for you."
"I can't wait," you say. You'll pretend to be totally surprised at his cake, no problem. Anything to make him smile. "Love you both. See you soon."
"Love you. Say love you," Eddie prompts.
"I love you!" Roan yells. "I'll make dad put your blanket in the dryer!"
You put down the phone with a small smile, wondering if you can weasel your way past your eagle-eyed coworkers for an early finish.
#eddie and roan#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson scenario#eddie munson drabble#eddie munson fic#eddie munson fanfiction#dad!eddie munson#dad!eddie munson x reader#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#stranger things fic#stranger things x reader#stranger things 4
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innocence of love | remus lupin
pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader
summary: Is it too late? Will you forgive him? Are you still in love with him? Remus' mind won't stop repeating those questions in his head. He must find you and hear it from you.
words: 2,1k
notes: i love these babies SOOO much, they're literally my children. i took a little time writing it but it's finally here. hope you guys enjoy it 🥹🥹
warnings: ANGSTYYYY, but so much fluff at the end, i just- ADORE THEM SO MUCH. no use y/n but no oc neither. no proofread.
part 1 | guilt and shame
(could be read as a stand alone too)
As the night progresses, Remus finds himself thinking about your confession. He's spent the evening with his best friends, their conversation and humor managing to lighten the mood somewhat, but he can't shake off the heaviness he feels in his chest.
He finds himself wandering the castle, not quite ready to retire to bed, when he spots you walking down one of the corridors. The sight sends a pang through his heart and he hesitates for a moment, summoning up the courage to approach you.
He takes a breath, steeling himself, then steps towards you. As he draws closer, he takes in your form, his heart pounding in his chest. When he's a few steps away, he calls out quietly, his voice hoarse.
"Hey..."
You look up, surprised by the sound of Remus's voice. As you turn to face him, you see the weariness in his eyes, the struggle clear on his face. He stops a few feet away, shoving his hands in his pockets and avoiding your gaze, unsure of how to start.
He clears his throat, still looking down at his feet as he speaks, his voice slightly shaky. "Can I... Can I talk to you for a moment? I know it's late, but...I just really need to say something."
You notice the tension radiating off him, the way he fidgets, the uncertainty in his tone. You haven't seen him like this before. Nervous to the core, just like you. Curious and a little worried, you nod. "Oh, yes. What is it?"
His gaze finally meets yours, the raw vulnerability in his eyes clear. He takes a deep breath, struggling to find the right words. "I... I need to apologize. I've been an idiot. I know that. I thought I was doing the right thing, sparing you from... from me."
He swallows hard, running a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. "But... but I realize now that it wasn't my decision to make. I had no right to push you away like that. I should've trusted you, trusted your decisions, your... your feelings."
He takes a step closer, his eyes begging for understanding. "I never meant to hurt you. I was just... I was just trying to protect you. But I see now that I was really just being selfish, making decisions for you that weren't mine to make. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. That's not how you treat someone you..." He trails off, the word ‘love' hanging unsaid between them.
"I don't understand. What are you trying to protect me from, Remus? Your feelings?" You say clearly confused by Remus' words.
Remus hesitates, the truth on the tip of his tongue. He can't bring himself to look directly at you, not yet. "No...No, not my feelings. I mean, yes, my feelings... But that's not all. It's much more complicated."
Remus sighs, rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand. He knows he has to explain, but he hates the thought of having to lay out all his secrets. "It's... It's not just my feelings. It's everything. It's who I am, what I am. There are things about me... Things you don't know. Things I'm scared to tell you."
He looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of fear and regret. "You see, there's a part of me that I can't control. A part that... that's dangerous. A part that I'm terrified of could hurt you. I didn't want to put you at risk, that's why I tried to push you away. That's why I thought it would be better if..." He trails off again, unable to say the words aloud.
You come closer to him and grab his face in your hands, looking at him right in the eyes. "What could be that dangerous about you?"
Remus's breath hitches as you place your hands on his face, the warmth of your touch sending a shiver down his spine. He can't help but lean into your touch, the comfort it offers is a stark contrast to the turmoil he's feeling inside.
His voice is barely above a whisper as he finally speaks, the confession tearing at his heart. "I'm a monster. A real, actual, literal monster. I'm not like you, not like any of the others. There's something that... that happens to me. Something that I have no control over." He swallows hard, the admission taking all his strength. "I transform. Every full moon, I transform into something terrible. I can't stop it. I've tried. I've tried everything. And I'm... I'm scared. I'm scared of what it does to me, of what it could do to you, if you got too close."
He reaches up, gently grasping your wrists and pulling your hands from his face. He holds them in his own, his grip desperate, almost desperate enough to hurt. "You don't understand. The thing I become... it's dangerous. It's violent. It's... it's capable of things you can't even imagine. And I can't let it hurt you. I won't let it hurt you. So that's why... that's why I had to push you away. I had to keep you safe from me."
He looks down at your hands in his, the sight of them intertwined a stark reminder of the connection between you. He's torn, pulled between the part of him that aches to be close to you and the part that's terrified of what being close might bring. "I don't want to keep hurting you. But I don't know what else to do. I can't change what I am. I can't change what I'm capable of. And I can't... I can't put you at risk like that."
His voice breaks a little as he speaks, the pain evident in his tone. He looks back up at you, his eyes filled with conflict. "You make me... You make me feel things that I've never felt before. You make me happy, you make me want things I can never have. But I can't... I can't get that close to you. For your sake, for my sake, for everyone's sake. If something ever happened... if I ever hurt you..." He lets out a bitter laugh, a sound edged with despair. "I would never forgive myself. I'd rather have you hate me than risk seeing you hurt because of me."
He lowers his head again, his grip on your hands tightening. "Can you understand that? Can you try to understand why... why I did what I did? Why do I have to keep pushing you away, even though it's killing me?"
He waits for your response, his heart thundering in his chest. He's laid out his secrets, his fears, his guilt. Now it's up to you to react, to accept him, to forgive him, or to turn from him in disgust. He steels himself, bracing for the worst, praying that you'll see past his monster to the boy beneath.
His eyes plead with you, searching your face for any sign that you can see the truth behind his words. But he also braces himself for the worst, waiting for the blow that could shatter what's left of his heart into a thousand pieces.
You are completely silent for a moment as you process everything Remus has told you. Your heart aches for him, in a mixture of compassion and grief at what he must go through. And yet, the love in your heart doesn't waiver, if anything it becomes stronger. When you finally speak, your voice is calm and steady, belying the turmoil of emotions within you. "I... I can't say I understand everything you're going through. But I do understand your fear. I understand your guilt. I understand why you pushed me away." You take a step closer to him, your hands still in his. You look at him intently, your eyes locked on his. "But I also understand this: You're not a monster, Remus. You're scared. And you're hurting. But that doesn't make you a monster. It just makes you human."
He looks at you in surprise, not quite believing what he's hearing. He opens his mouth to speak, to protest, but you shush him gently. "You're not a monster, Remus," you repeat, the voice softer now. "And I don't hate you. I could never hate you."
He swallows hard, the emotions he's been holding back threatening to overwhelm him. A single tear escapes his eye, rolling down his cheek. You grab his hands again. "How can you say that? After everything I've told you? After everything I've done? How can you... How can you still care?"
You sigh, a tender smile on her lips. You reach up, wiping the tear away with your thumb. "Because I love you, Remus. Despite everything, even though you've been an idiot, a stubborn git, and a complete fool... I love you. I'll ever do."
He draws in a sharp breath as he hears the word 'love'. He looks at you, disbelief and hope warring within his heart. "You... you still love me? Even knowing what I am? Even knowing what I'm capable of?"
You nod firmly, gaze unshaking. "Yes, I do. I do. I love you for who you are, Remus. All of you. Even the parts you think are monstrous. They're a part of you, and I love you for that. I love you for your strength, your bravery, and your courage in the face of your fears. I love you for the boy you are, not the wolf you turn into."
He can't stop the tears from falling now, cascading down his face in silent streams. He reaches out for you, pulling you into his arms, holding you close. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, his body shaking with silent sobs. He whispers the words into your skin, his voice choked with tears. "I... I don't deserve you. I don't deserve your love."
You wrap your arms around him, the embrace tight and comforting. "Yes, you do. You deserve all the love in the world, Remus. And I'll give it to you, if you'll let me. I'll give you all my love, my understanding, and my support. I'll be here for you, always."
He shivers against you, your words and touch soothing him, calming the storm that has been ravaging his soul. He pulls back slightly, just enough to look into her eyes, his own filled with awe and gratitude. "I... I don't know what to say. I don't know what I did to deserve you."
You smile at him, hand gently tracing the lines of his face, wiping away the tears. "You don't have to say anything, Remus. You don't have to do anything. You just have to be here, with me. And I'll do the rest. I'll prove to you every day that you're worth loving, that you're not a monster, that you deserve happiness and peace and comfort and love."
He lets out a shaky breath, his fingers tracing her features in turn, as if he's trying to commit every inch of her to memory. He leans in, pressing his forehead against hers, his eyes closing as he memorizes every detail of the moment. "I'm a fool. I'm a complete and utter fool. I almost let you go. I almost let my fears and my guilt drive you away from me."
You pull back slightly, your hands still framing his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks softly. "But you didn't. You're here now. You're here with me. And I'm never letting go. I'll fight for you, Remus. I'll fight your fears, your guilt, your monsters. I'll fight for us."
He smiles through his tears, his heart overflowing with feelings he can't even begin to put into words. He pulls you closer again, holding onto you like you're the most precious thing in the world. His voice is a whisper, a prayer, a vow. "I love you, darling. With everything that I am. With every beat of my heart, every breath of my soul. I love you."
You melt into his embrace, the words you longed to hear since your heart first fluttered with love falling from his lips at last. "I love you too, Remus. With everything I am. With every fiber of my being. I love you now, and I'll love you until the end of time."
He smiles against your hair, his heart so full he feels like it might burst. He pulls you impossibly closer, his body aching with the need to be as close as possible. "Then you're stuck with me, forever. I'm never letting you go. Ever."
You laugh softly, the sound like music to his ears. "Good. Cause I wasn't planning on going anywhere. You're mine now, Remus Lupin. Stuck with me for the rest of your days."
#harry potter x reader#james potter x reader#marauders#marauders era#remus lupin#remus lupin angst#remus lupin x reader#sirius black x reader#harry potter#james potter
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Guilt
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Y/n lies unconscious in a hospital bed while Spencer drowns in guilt. You had felt that Spencer was cheating on you with Maeve and were going to stay with someone else before you got shot. Finding this out causes Spencer to snap and lash out at one of his closest friends.
Part 2
Word Count: 2,866
A/N: This has been a WIP for years! It was apart of a series with my own OC but I decided to change it to a Reader fic. The amount of WIPs I have is ridiculous!!!!!
Spencer sat at Y/n's hospital bed in silence. Tears were continuously streaming down his face, his breaths were shaky and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your unmoving face.
There was a tube coming out of your mouth to help your breathing. So many different wires were coming out of your body and attached to multiple beeping machines.
He was holding your right hand in both of his, your skin wasn’t freezing cold but it was colder than he prefers it to be.
You had only came out of surgery half an hour ago but they won’t know if it was successful until you wake up. Which could be between the next few seconds and never.
Never was something Spencer was trying his hardest not to think about.
There was so much he needed to tell you. So many things he had to say.
The last time you were together you had fought. You told him that he’s been speaking to Maeve too much and that he's been ignoring you. Spending more time with this woman.
Spencer had told you that you were being ridiculous and then you had to go on a case and Spencer never got the chance to talk anymore about it.
You had been furious at him and now Spencer was angry at himself as well.
He had called you ridiculous for coming to him about your feelings. This resulted in you refusing to be his partner in the field. Which led to you going with Morgan. Which ended in you getting shot.
This is when Spencer’s brain began connecting things that didn’t match up.
If he had listened to you he could’ve gotten you out of harm’s way.
Not speaking to Maeve meant you wouldn’t have fought and you never would’ve been shot.
He was supposed to protect you.
It should be him lying there. Not his sweet girl.
There was a knock on the door and Spencer barely reacted as Garcia and Emily came in.
“Hey, how is she doin’?” Emily asked softly.
Spencer turned his head a little towards them, “She... uh.” His voice cracked and he cleared it before trying again, “They said everything went well but we won’t know the damage until she wakes up.”
Garcia's eyes watered as she stared at your body. “When will she wake up?”
Spencer's eyes filled with tears, a sad smile forming as he squeezed your hand, “When she’s ready.”
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out to see that it was Maeve.
Again.
Along with the twenty missed calls from Maeve.
He rubbed his eyes before pressing answer, “Spencer Reid.”
“Oh my God. Spencer, I’ve been trying to reach you all day. Are you alright?”
This statement didn’t sit well in his stomach.
If you miss an appointment with your doctor, they don’t leave twenty missed calls on your phone.
They wait for you to reschedule.
He glanced at the other two women who were trying their best not to listen in. Although Garcia was looking particularly peeved about something.
Then he glanced down at you and any words he was going to say to Maeve turned to ash in his mouth. He felt sick.
Now he understood what you meant.
“Now, isn’t a good time. I’ll call you next week.” He didn’t wait for a response before he ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket.
Garcia shifted uncomfortably, “Was... was that her?”
“Who?” Spencer’s brain wasn’t even functioning at 20%. He couldn’t think things through clearly.
“Doctor Maeve.” Garcia mocked.
Spencer frowned, “Yes. Why?”
Emily gave Penelope a pointed look.
A look that did not go unnoticed by Spencer, “What? What is it?”
Emily put her hands up in a calming gesture, as if trying to approach a cornered animal. “Spencer. You must understand, we don’t mean to pry but Y/n spoke to Morgan and he didn’t know what to do so he told Garcia, who told me.”
Spencer rubbed his eyes for the fourth time in ten minutes, he did not have the energy for this, “Told you what? What are you talking about?” Spencer was getting agitated now. Why can’t they just tell him? He hated not getting to the point.
“Well, Y/n came to Morgan two weeks ago and was quite upset.”
Spencer frowned as he looked at you again. Two weeks ago? You didn’t seem upset two weeks ago.
“She had some concerns about this doctor that you’ve been speaking to.” Emily explained.
Garcia huffed, “She told Derek that she had suspicions that you were cheating on her.” She spoke with daggers in her eyes.
Spencer froze.
What?!
He stiffened in his seat as he stared at his unconscious fiancé in shock.
You thought he was cheating on you?
You might never wake up again and your last thoughts of him would be the fight and thoughts of his, supposed, adultery.
How?! How could you think that he could even look at anyone that wasn’t you?
“I. Would. Never.” He punctuated every damn word so they got his point, trying to blink away the fresh batch of tears that filled his eyes.
“She planned to stay with Morgan and Savannah for a couple of days-" Garcia told him.
Spencer tore his eyes away from the bed to gawk at Garcia, “She what?”
Emily placed her hand on Garcia’s arm and spoke next, “Yesterday, Derek had... overheard one of your conversations with the doctor and he spoke to Y/n about it. So, she decided she would go and stay with him for a few days to sort out her head before coming to you about it.”
Spencer was furious. Not only did you think he was cheating on you, half of the team now suspected him of it too and no one even had the decency to ask him. And what was this phone call that was so damning that Derek had to run and tell his fiancé? Why didn’t Derek just ask him instead of almost ruining his relationship without him even knowing about it!
Spencer was shaking with rage. He stood abruptly from his chair and turned to the girls, pointing to Y/n’s bed he ordered out, “Stay with her.” before he stormed outside to head to the waiting room.
He saw red. He couldn’t think of anything except for the anger he felt.
Quickly turning the corner he saw the rest of the team sitting and talking as if nothing was wrong.
J.J noticed him first and stood up, Hotch, Rossi and Morgan following suit.
“Spence, any news?” she asked gently.
Spencer didn’t even hear her; never slowed his pace either. As soon as Morgan was within arm’s reach he clenched his fist until his knuckles turned white and swung as hard as he could.
His fist made connection with Morgan’s cheek and from the shock of Spencer’s actions it knocked Morgan off kilter. Morgan stumbled and placed his hand to his cheek.
The punch clearly did more harm to Spencer than Morgan, but he didn’t care. The pain in his hand was welcomed. It cut through the hurt that was clutched around his heart.
The others cried out in shock as they tried to digest what just happened.
“What the hell, kid?!” Morgan yelled at him.
“’What the hell’ is right!” Spencer growled back as he stepped up to the other man and pushed his shoulders, “Sneaking behind my back? Telling my fiancé that I had some secret affair because of some phone call you didn’t hear the entirety of!”
Spencer was seething, the rest of the team gaping at him never having seen him so furious before, “You could’ve just asked! But no, the whole team had to get involved. And now I hear she was planning on living with you for a few days?!” Spencer clenched his possibly broken fist again. “She’s in a coma and may never wake up again and her last thoughts of me will be the thought that I was getting with someone else.”
Spencer inhaled sharply as his rage at Morgan turned to rage at himself.
“Spencer!” J.J shouted, “Stop!”
His sharp inhales quickly turned to hyperventilation, his brain was in overdrive, a million thoughts and memories were spinning around his head and he just wanted it to stop.
So he stopped it the only way he knew how.
Instead of hitting Morgan, Spencer turned at the last second and hit the wall.
He fell to his knees and cried as he hit the wall again and again and again and again.
Blood smeared across the white wall as he broke the skin on the knuckles. The physical pain overrode his senses and he chased the feeling.
That was until Hotch grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him away from the wall causing Spencer to lose his balance and fall back into Hotch's arms which quickly locked around him.
“Stop! Get off of me! Hotch, let go!” Spencer squirmed as he tried to fight against his boss. His back was pressed tightly against Hotch’s chest, his legs bent in front of him and he kept slapping at Hotch’s arms to let go.
Hotch just shushed him and held him tighter. Completely understanding his anger. He’s been there and the best thing for Spencer is to calm down enough so he can go back and sit with Y/n instead of giving in to his anger and doing something else that he will regret.
Once Spencer figured out that he wasn’t going anywhere the fight drained out of him and he stopped slapping at the arms circled around him.
While Spencer was hunched over Hotch gave the rest of the team a nod to clear the area and give the two some space.
Hotch pulled one Spencer’s shoulders to shift his position so that Spencer curled into his chest.
Once Hotch placed a comforting hand over Spencer’s head a sob broke past his lips and the entire dam broke. Spencer cried his heart out.
He could barely breathe, inhaling only made him choke on his sobs and made him feel worse.
“What if I never get to speak to her again?” he whispered between sobs. “Never get to tell her that she’s the only one for me.”
“Spencer you need to breathe.” Hotch told him gently, “You need to calm down. Breathe with me.”
Spencer felt Hotch’s chest rising and falling against him. He closed his eyes and tried to follow his boss’ actions.
After a moment, Spencer was finally able to take a deep breath. The oxygen flooded his brain and the fog cleared. His entire body shivered before he came to his senses.
Blinking hard he realised he was curled into Hotch’s chest, cocooned in his arms.
He shouldn’t be here.
He was sitting on the hospital floor instead of in with Y/n. He slowly sat up and Hotch let his arms fall from around him.
“You alright?”
Spencer wiped his left hand over his face, “Fine. Fine. Yeah. I need to uh, I need to go to Y/n.”
He put his right hand behind him to support his weight, but an agonising pain shot through his hand and he fell onto his elbow with a grunt.
“Here, let me see.” Hotch knelt over him and held out his hand.
Spencer shook his head and used his other hand to support his weight as he got off the floor, dusting himself off as best he could, “I’m fine.” He held his right arm close to him as he stood up straight.
He looked around and noticed that J.J, Rossi and Morgan are nowhere to be seen… which is probably for the best.
The shame of what he’s done washed over him like a bucket of ice water. He just punched his best friend in front of his team then proceeded to have a break down in his boss’ arms.
“Spencer.” Hotch called out. “You’re not fine, let me see your hand.”
Spencer shook his head and walked out of the waiting room without saying anything.
Stopping just outside Y/n’s room he looked in the window, you hadn’t moved a muscle.
Emily was sat by your bedside holding your hand.
The pain of the possibility of losing her was too much for him. His only relief was the slow rise and fall of your chest.
His eyes were already puffy and sore, and he felt dehydrated. He sighed as he raised his left hand to wipe the tears away, cursing himself for his behaviour.
“Spencer.” Hotch stood at his side, “You need to get your hand looked at, and I’m sure the nurse wouldn’t mind doing it by Y/n’s bedside.” He knew Spencer probably doesn’t want his hand looked at for at least three reasons; he doesn’t want to leave Y/n’s side for much longer, he feels embarrassed or shameful or he feels the need to punish himself.
He agreed as long as he can stay beside Y/n, “Okay.” He opened the door and the bleeps of the machine’s filled his ears.
That was your heartbeat.
He lowered himself into the chair at your right side and raised his left hand to hold hers. His right hand was tucked into his chest. The throbbing was excruciating but he welcomed it.
He pointedly avoided Emily’s worried expression before she smiled at him and left the room without word.
A nurse came bustling into the room a few moments later with a tray of equipment, clearly fetched by Hotch. She stood next to him and Spencer raised his hand to let her do what she needed to do. Hissing as she cleaned the cuts on his knuckles.
The nurse didn’t mind his silence and talked calmly to him as she worked, “You did quite the number on your hand.” She wiped away the blood and inspected his fingers, “You’ve definitely broken a few knuckles, I’m going to wrap your fingers in a splint and then bandage you up, okay?”
Spencer nodded, “Okay.” He said quietly.
She taped his middle and ring finger together and then bandaged his entire hand down to his wrist. “Now, keep this on for the next two weeks and then come back in so we can give you an x-ray and review the damage.”
Spencer nodded, “Thank you.”
The nurse left and Spencer was alone with Y/n once more. He stared at his right hand that was now resting on the bed.
How could he do this? Throw a tantrum while the love of his life lies in bed fighting for her life.
He leaned forward to rest his arms on the bed.
“Hi.” His voice shook, and he cleared his throat. He hasn’t been this nervous to talk to you since you first met. “You always told me that I needed to talk more, but I- I have no words for what I’ve done. I’ve done something terrible. Actually, I’ve done a few terrible things.” The tears formed once more, and his head pounded from the pressure. “I may never get the chance to say this to you but I am so, so, sorry. I made you feel that you weren’t special to me anymore, that I don’t love you which is the furthest thing from the truth.”
Spencer played with a strand of your hair that was laying on your shoulder.
“How could I ever be with someone else? No one could ever, ever take your place in my heart.”
He gently lifted your hand in both of his, his head felt heavy, so he bent over and placed his forehead on the back of her hand. “I love you more than anything in this world. When you wake up I’m going to spend every second of the rest of my life making it up to you. And I know you wouldn’t want to miss that. So, please wake up. Please.”
He had been talking when it happened so he never heard it.
You weren’t breathing in the same rhythm as before.
When he finally noticed, he frowned as he looked you over. He slowly got to his feet as he scanned the machines. Right before his eyes some of the numbers began to climb as others started to fall.
Spencer scrambled past the chair and ripped open the door to your room, “Doctor! I need a doctor here now!” He yelled out before running back to your side, “Y/n, sweetheart if you can hear me; don’t give up. Please.”
Two doctors and a nurse sprinted into the room.
“Sir, sir!” The nurse grabbed Spencer’s shoulder, “We need you to leave.”
Spencer shook his head frantically, trying to keep up with everything that the doctors were saying to each other, “I can’t.” he whispered to himself.
“Sir! Please!” The nurse pushed at Spencer’s shoulders until he was outside the room and the door was shut in his face.
The rest of the team had heard the commotion and had run to the room as well.
Rossi placed his hand on Spencer’s shoulder as the entire team watched the doctors place paddles on your chest and shock you.
Again.
And again.
And again.
#spencer x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds
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✮ ↳ The Show Must Go On ↰
♡ yandere! actor x gn reader♡
tw/cw: slight obsession, nothing too detailed
authors notes: first work and i wrote this in one sitting...it's okay we're fine ♥ also i may have based him off of myself and i will probably do that with a lot of my ocs! my bad i'm just a theater kid who likes to write
➼ yandere! Actor who first only knew you as one of the stagehands, always flitting back and forth behind the curtains.
➼ yandere! Actor who didn't even know your name until you got promoted to prop manager.
➼ yandere! Actor who never knew how every character that he played fell in love with someone at first glance, but as soon as you walked onto the stage and started giving out your orders, it was like the heavens had shone their light upon you and you only.
➼ yandere! Actor who was infatuated with everything about you. Your responsibility, your assured nature, the way you'd sternly correct him when he messed up his lines because he "should be reading off his script, not off my face".
➼ yandere! Actor who was always on top of his game, one of the best actors in his region, yet when you looked at him with your concentrated eyes it was like he was a rookie again.
➼ yandere! Actor who would be stuttering and tripping over his words on purpose just to get you to come up and read it with him, your warm body so close to his that he could almost taste the perfume you were wearing.
➼ yandere! Actor whose heart raced whenever you praised him, even a simple "good work today" would give him butterflies.
➼ yandere! Actor who knew that opening night was approaching, so he worked day and night to memorize his lines. The excited smile on your face when he was able to perform the whole dress rehearsal without flaw was something he'd never forget.
➼ yandere! Actor who, standing behind the curtain on the first day of their showing, suddenly started to shake. He's been in the industry so long that he forgot what it's like to have pre-show anxiety, and he doesn't even know how to deal with it. Suddenly, a warm hand is put on his shoulder.
"You're shaking." You point out, turning him around to face you. "Why? Are you feeling alright?" You place the back of your hand on his forehead to feel his temperature. "You're not warm, so you're not sick..." You think about it for a second, looking him in the eyes with a warm smile. "Are you...nervous?"
Aurelian doesn't speak, instead, he just nods. He's ashamed of you having to see him like this, the Aurelian Yavuz, getting jitters right before the opening night of one of his most popular shows.
"Hey, look at me." Your voice is soft, yet commanding, forcing him to look into your assuring eyes. You place both your hands on his shoulders, gripping them firmly to help ground him.
"You've done this show countless times before, and we've read the script together so many times that it should be burned into your brain by now." He laughs slightly, a sign that your motivation is working.
"You're one of the best actors I've ever worked with, and one of the most dedicated as well. You've spent so many hours reading, fixing, and editing this performance so that it's just right and absolutely nothing could go wrong. Am I correct?"
He nods again, making you click your tongue.
"Use your words. Am I correct, yes or no?" Your firm tone makes it hard for him to disobey, especially when you look at him with those fierce eyes.
He gulps, taking a deep breath before responding.
"Yes, you're correct. I've done so much to make sure that this show is perfect, so I have no reason to be nervous." He stands up straighter and walks backstage, adjusting his costume in the mirror. "Plus, I know that you'll be watching, so everything will be okay~." He winks at you from the mirror, making you chuckle.
"Exactly. We behind the curtain will be making sure that everything goes smoothly, so all you have to do is go out there and do what you do best." The lights start to dim as the audience applauds. You pat him on the back and adjust his collar for him.
"The stage is yours, Auri." you nod at him as he takes a deep breath, walking out onto the large wooden stage to loud cheering. His voice booms through the stage, and soon enough, the show is over. The cast takes their final standing bow and walks back to their dressing rooms. Aurelius makes a beeline for the lighting booth where you are usually sitting; he bursts through the door backstage, only to find your seat empty.
"What...?" he looks around for any trace of you, but it's like you've disappeared. He takes a seat in your chair and waits for what seemed like hours to him because of how tired he was. 15 minutes after the show ends, he hears your voice from outside the door. he gets up to open the door, but as soon as he does, the door opens with a creak. There you are, standing in the doorway with a coffee in one hand and your bag in the other, looking up at him surprised.
"Auri, why haven't you changed? Everyone's already leaving, you should go too-"
"You weren't watching." He cuts you off, looking at you with cold, dead eyes.
You look at him confused, setting your bag down on the floor. "What are you-"
"Why weren't you watching?"
#zain>>works#yandere writing#tw yandere#yandere blog#yandere#yandere x you#soft yandere#oc x reader#god i think i blanked out writing this#it's now half past one in the morning#i can't remember how i got here#all i remember is having an idea and needing to write it immediately#it's fine it's okay#we ball#anyway this is my first work i hope yall weren't expecting much
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One of your stronger demon oc’s: hey babe you interested in trying a new kind of foreplay? It’s called demonic possession
Their match: *looking confused* you already possess me though?
[Already talked about Livius with this, so why not good old Santi? Fem reader.]
The incubus laughs.
It's that same old rich, deep noise that had your knees weak the first time you heard it, and still manages to make you warm up briefly. Santi gives you a calm, lidded and loving look, it feels just the tiniest bit patronizing.
" Mm, that I do. "
He swirls his glass of sangria idly. You know he's not going to drink, its only purpose is to match your own set of cutlery, to make it feel as if Santi is having dinner with you, when he's really just keeping you company as you fulfill your basic human needs. You can't really complain about this though, the demon goes out of his way to order excellent dishes for you, and he never fails any of the "human meals in a day", as he put it.
" However- " The world rolls off his mischievous tongue. " I was using the word in a literal sense, love. "
You choke on the steak. " E- Excuse me? "
His head tilts, some sort of realization coming over that pale face when he studies your reaction. " No no, excuse me- I should have explained this to you better. "
Santi steeples his fingers for a moment, pauses, then plays with the glass some more, tracing its golden rim.
" You're familiar with the concept of demonic possession, right? " He starts, tone slightly more serious.
A shiver crawls up your spine, not exactly the most pleasant kind. " Y... Yes. Isn't it something horrific though? It's supposed to hurt! And deform someone's body! It can kill me! Why would you- "
" Easy. " Santi calls, watching your rambling get out of hand.
" Santi, that's insanity! You want to make me crawl the walls and start chanting things?! That arouses you? I don't think my body can- "
" Love. "
The more forceful tone silences you, but by no means is your apprehension quelled. Your appetite seems to fade in the face of possible danger.
There's a sigh from the monster in front of you.
" And this is why your silly little horror movies keep causing a divide in our society... "
That catches your attention.
A less inviting frown sits on Santi's face. " Possession gets an incredibly harmful reputation from your precious Exorcist movies. Each one more ludicrous than the last. "
It's your turn to frown. " Don't sit there and tell me that those things don't happen, Santi! Possession is done for all sorts of things and I'm not stupid enough to buy a lie that it's all sunshine and rainbows... "
You expect him to get even more upset, but instead, the incubus shakes his head, setting the glass down to look you in the eyes. " But it doesn't have to be that way, love. "
He continues when all you do is cross your arms.
" You've seen a hundred movies about demons with ill intent tarnishing the bodies of surfacers... But you've never seen a movie about a demon possessing the person they love, have you? "
Silence. He lets those words splay onto the table like a winning hand in a tense game of cards.
And, truth be told, you have nothing to counter that with. Because he's right. You have never heard of such a thing as possession between lovers.
" ... That's real? "
" More than real. " The high-ranker responds softly. " It's one of the most intimate thing you can do with an infernal partner. " Some of that earlier playfulness shines again. " And it can be so fun. "
You gulp, looking to the side. " It's dangerous. "
" Not if done properly. " Santi's quick to cut in. " A calm, willing vessel and a strong emotional connection will make it a much smoother process than the painful spasms you're privy to in your Halloween hits... "
It seems he has an answer for everything.
" Not to mention, as the bearer of my mark, you already have a little bit of me in you. It wouldn't be your body's first contact with my essence. " He's back to tracing the rim of the bottle, smelling it briefly, sharp pupils watching the berries in it sway before studying you once more.
" Why... Why do you want to do this? " It still sounds strange to you.
The dark fiend is silent for a few seconds, then leans forward on the table, glass set back down so his chin can rest on the palms of his hands. A grin with more teeth than lips threatens to cleave his face.
" Because it gets me really hard. "
... Can't fault him for lack of honesty.
Clearing your throat, you take a sip of your drink so you can think of what to say next. You need to pick your words right or this conversation will escalate to Santi playing with himself at the table.
" I could guess as much. "
" You're still hesitant. " He points out, piercings jingling as he tilts his head.
" I guess... What I'm more worried about is, how long it'll last. What you're going to do. What... What're the terms? "
His brows raise. " Treating this like a deal? How clever of you! Alright, here are my terms. "
Santi straightens, and although his smile is endlessly lascivious and wanton, he speaks clearly and slowly.
" I want to possess your delicious body for three days and three nights. During that time, you can hear, see, smell and feel everything that happens. You can talk to me and you will be given periodic control to perform certain tasks. "
He starts.
" I want to use it for both our pleasure, and I will be having sex with people I determine can service us well. I will not disclose to these people that you are possessed. " There's a beat of silence, before he adds something in forethought. " Although it may look as if some acts will be painful, you have my word that only pleasure will reach you. "
The meaning is not lost on you. " So you want to make me sleep with huge monsters? "
Santi winks, amused to be caught.
" That's relative, isn't it? What monster isn't huge compared to a human? Why I'm fairly huge to you. "
Your eyes roll. " What a charming non-answer. "
The incubus' jovial laugh is almost infectious.
" Come now, we'll see. "
It's your turn to make a move. Wide, blinking puppy eyes are cast towards the handsome demon. " Can't you even give me a pointer, it's my body after all... "
" Is that an agreement I hear? " He hums.
" Answer the question. "
Santi makes a quiet chuckle. " Very well. " Dark knuckles crack, he stares off for a moment, licking his chops. It's the signature look of a pervert looking forward to the near future.
" I have an idea as to who our first bedwarmer can be- "
" Of course you do. "
" I really do. " He snorts, the suave look breaking entirely for half a second where his amusement is so great he cannot help it. Santi waves for you to keep eating, waiting until you have a bite to continue.
" So, there's this bakery close enough, I've been meaning to take you there for a while now because I hear stuff there is divine. Anyhow, the guy in charge of it is really interesting. You know mindflayers? "
The very same bite you just took flies out your mouth, back onto the plate. The incubus stares at it for a second, then wheezes quietly. " Taking that as a yes. "
" Aren't mindflayers... Kind of reclusive? And evil? "
" Well, typically, yes- "
" And this one runs a bakery? "
" That's what I said- "
" What is he selling, brain croissants?! "
Santi barks out a laugh that nearly sends spittle across the table, having to look away from you, clutching his midsection and cackling like a madman.
" That's the thing- " The incubus clears his throat, nearly losing his composure again. " This one is very interesting. He's uhm- I'm not sure what the process is called, but he's a loner. Swore off people brains, or so he says. Trying to make an honest living! "
Slowly, you try once more to finish your meal. " And you want to fuck with him. "
" No... " The way his lips wobble at your deadpan is enough of a tell. " I want you to fuck him."
You make a face at the idea of laying with a mindflayer.
" Mhm, don't look at me like that. " Santi purrs.
Beneath the table, you feel his tail gently loop around your ankle, squeezing.
" Have you never thought about it? What can a lover with such long tentacles do to a cute little thing like you? How will he take advantage of your weak, simple-minded nature to do whatever he wants? "
When you gulp, it's not just because you need to swallow your current mouthful.
" Let me paint the scene, love. "
The incubus seems to be getting short of breath, the thrill of his own lurid fantasy forcing him to bite his lip and trace his own horn piercings with restless fingers.
" You're hardly dressed, the peaks of your nipples poking out a sad excuse of a top and your skirt so short the smallest brush might bare your cuntlips. You're hungry, we're hungry, so you walk into this cozy looking bakery to get yourself something sweet. Oh and many are the treats in that glass display, but the most appetizing of them all is the big man carrying a hot tray from the kitchen. He's tall, a peculiar mindflayer with a strange skintone and unusually thick build, his tendrils cascading longer than you'd expect. The look on his face is one of complete focus as his boots thump softly on the ground. Until he sees you, that is- "
Your attention to this little tale he's spinning is more rapt than you'd care to admit. Not that you need to, Santi can tell.
" His latest client. A human girl with this cute little smile and doe eyes. Mister Roland, you ask so sweetly, I've been told such wonderful things about your talent and pastries. You're oh so charming, so enticing, the poor baker can't deny the thoughts that course through his perverted mind. He wants to bend you over his counter, wants to spread you out before him and force your legs apart with his long nimble appendages. You'd make such a fine stress-reliever to rut into during breaks, wouldn't you? And you'd love getting stuffed full of illithid cock, right? You're begging for it after all... "
" God, Santi- " You mutter under your breath.
" Hm... Maybe all it takes is some simple conversation, letting those fantasies foment in his mind, building into a desire so pungent it would make even me crawl the walls. You tilt your head, kick your legs, lid your eyes and invite him away. He wouldn't mind a little interruption, surely. And then, oh then- With a little bit of my help, you'd turn him into a drooling beast. A species thought so impervious to all sorts of manipulations, all but barely able to think of anything except the taste of your pussy, the hug of it around his cock- He's lonely, lonelier than he's ever been now that he's on his own. You're probably the first thing he's going to fuck in a small eternity. Ideally, we get him here. Want to know why? "
Santi points to the bedroom, where a large mirror resides.
" I want to see him hold you up in those practiced hands and pound you into a pulp with his tendrils wrapped all around you, neck tits thighs, flicking your dirty little clit- Oh he may not eat your brain, but he's certainly going to fuck it out of you. "
" Holy shit, Santi- " You nearly yell.
" Fun, right? I told you. You just have to start believing in me a little more. " He's back to weirdly smelling the sangria.
The silence that follows is thick and heady, he lets you process the canvas he painted for you with a soft rumble of anticipation. You dare not look into Santi's eyes, because the depravity you'll find there will doubtlessly steal your will.
Fork and knife neatly arranged, you push the plate forward.
" I... I want a safeword. "
The way he lights up like a Christmas tree is impossible to miss.
" Of course, love. " The incubus sighs dreamily. " We can pick one tomorrow. Now, if you're done eating, let's get you to bed. "
" Because, after all, you're going to have a long couple of days ahead of you. "
#Santi oc#yandere monster#yandere teratophilia#monster boyfriend#terato tag#monsterfucker#monster x reader#not sfw
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