#why yes i do have tons of other shit to do i am glad you asked

[fate-defiant]

There is a Duckling,, LOOSE in the archives

[5sospenguinqueen]

Emotional Range Of A Teaspoon | Pierre Gasly

Summary: What right does he have to feel angry at the sight of Y/N and Charles? The answer is none. After all, she's only his best friend. Isn't she?

Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Fluff. Jealousy. One suggestive comment

No faceclaim but British reader. 2024 timeline

F1 Masterlist

Requested: Yes (sorry it's a little late)

This one actually comes with a tiny text paragraph mid-way through

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Replies to @ PierreGASLY

Charles_Leclerc c’mon mate, it’s only been two days 

→ PierreGASLY a whole lifetime 

→ ItsYN i can’t even remember what you look like 

→ Charles_Leclerc and the people say that i am the dramatic one 

AlpineF1Team think you can channel that pain into some points this weekend?

→ PierreGASLY why aren’t you taking my pain seriously 

→ AlpineF1Team do you want us to schedule you an appointment with the counsellor?

→ ItsYN i don’t think that counsellor gets paid enough to listen to him

User1 ouch, talk about friendzoned 

→ User2 no, no, they’re in the denial stage of their friends to lovers arc

Replies to @ ItsYN

PierreGASLY i can still hear your voice

→ PierreGASLY although i’m glad you’re not making me suffer through the lost boys again

→ ItsYN okay first off, you love that movie. and second, because of that, i’m telling everyone you cried watching cars 3

→ PierreGASLY traitor!

→ LiamLawson30 as any man would!

Charles_Leclerc don’t worry y/n, i’ll have movie night with you 

→ ItsYN are you going to make me watch harry potter again?

→ Charles_Leclerc yes..?

→ ItsYN @ PierreGASLY come back please 

Replies to @ Charles_Leclerc

User3 not charles tweeting this the day after the canadian gp. y/n missed the canadian gp and you can tell poor charles had to hear all about it 

ItsYN we all know i would be the soldier and pierre would be the doting housewife crying on the platform 

→ PierreGASLY and i would look radiant doing so

Max33Verstappen he wouldn’t shut up about her during the driver’s parade. i tried to walk off and he followed me!

→ PierreGASLY i was in the middle of a sentence!

→ danielricciardo mate you know it’s bad when yapstappen needs you to stop talking

ItsYN stop talking about me. you're making it sound like we're friends

→ Charles_Leclerc excuse me but you know you want to be my bestie

→ PierreGASLY you can’t have her. she’s mine. i saw her first. shotgun or whatever you monagasques say for dibs 

→ GeorgeRussell63 actually i saw her first; her brother was my teammate when we were kids so 

→ PierreGASLY and just for that, i’m unfollowing you 

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Replies to @ CHICKEN!!

User4 whoever took this photo needs to go straight to jail. not y’all making it seem like charles and y/n are a sneaky item

User5 i knew she was shady, talking about how she couldn't make it only to end up in the winning driver’s garage 

PierreGASLY oh 

→ User6 wait no, pierre, come back. look at other tweets about this please

User7 stop being a shit stirrer. he’s literally got his other arm wrapped around alex ‘cause he was guiding the two of them through a ton of fans but that’s conveniently been cropped out 

Replies to @ BRAKKEEE

User8 i can’t believe people were trying to convince us ynarles was real when it’s clearly ynex

User9 love that charles was literally only there to keep them safe from fans and after that they were like ‘you’re done babe. now we run off into the sunset’ 

User10 watching him chase after them was so funny tho because he was literally yelling “let me play too” 

Replies to @ ItsYN

User11 oh no, we’re so sorry. we were just so happy to see you 

→ User12 yeah and pierre would’ve been happy to see her as well if you hadn’t blasted her all over the internet 

→ User13 pierre didn't exactly look all that happy though. he wouldn’t stop glaring at poor charles  

→ User12 maybe because you guys made it seem like his best friend lied to him to be with charles

Thumb aimlessly swiping at the screen of his phone, Pierre scanned the tweets as they passed, making note of a cute waffle shop in Monaco that he knew Y/N would love. Nothing of note appeared to have been posted as most of the Grid were waiting to hear where Sainz had signed. Hand halting, Pierre’s eyes flickered across the screen once. Twice. And then a third time just to be sure. His last message to Y/N had gone unanswered and now there was a picture of her on Twitter, claiming to be from today. With Charles’ arm around her. His teeth sank into his bottom lip, and a derisive scoff filled his driver’s room. What happened to being unable to book the time off work, he thought bitterly to himself. Instead she was in the Paddock with a red-clad arm wrapped around her. Before he could restrain himself, he had clicked on the ‘reply’ button. A knock at the door pulled him from his downward spiral, preventing him from looking further into the comments gushing about how cute his best friend and closest F1 friend looked as a couple. 

“Pierre, time to warm up.”

“D’accord.”

He locked his phone before dumping it onto the massage table, storming out of his driver’s room, unaware that if he had scrolled down another two posts, he would’ve seen a picture of Y/N with Alexandra and a tweet from the woman herself. 

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ItsYN just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, estebanocon and others

ItsYN an amazing weekend in barcelona watching my best friend do his thing and achieve some well-deserved points. a huge thank you to charles and alex for helping me sneak into the paddock last-minute tagged: pierregasly, charles_leclerc and alexandrasaintmleux 

553 comments

alpinef1team our favourite things rolled into one post 

→ ItsYN mine too! 

→ User1 sis, get off the floor 

estebanocon should i be offended that you wearing my cap didn’t make the post 

→ ItsYN shh i can’t have my people thinking i have friends other than pear 

danielricciardo PIERRE GASSLLLYYYYY

→ ItsYN go thirst over him on his posts. my insta is a 310 free zone

→ danielricciardo just admit that you’re jealous of our love and move on

→ ItsYN was he publicly crying over missing YOU? i don’t think so 

→ danielricciardo that’s because i’m a better friend than you and i’ve been here the whole time

→ ItsYN blocked 

alexandrasaintmleux thank you for trusting me with the surprise! 

→ ItsYn thank you for being so wonderful and helping 🩷 (and stopping charles from throttling me)

→ charles_leclerc it’s because you wouldn’t stop saying thank you and asking me if i was “sure that it’s no bother” to help you 

→ It’sYN sorry for being considerate! 

User2 not to be that person but has anyone else noticed that pierre hasn’t commented?

→ User3 i'm getting the feeling that, despite all his online complaining, he wasn’t overly excited to see his best friend this weekend? 

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User4 not the f1wags posting her, they know the truth

→ User5 what truth. it doesn’t look they’re even friends anymore

User7 it’s the way she looks like she’s trying to explain/talk to him and he’s just yelling at her 

→ User8 i used to root for them to get together but now that he’s yelled at her :/

User9 y/n is stronger than me because if a man pointed his finger like that at me, i’d savagely bite it off 

User10 uh, who does he think he is talking to y/n l/n that way

User11 i bet it’s because he thought y/n was there for charles and got jealous 

→ User12 i’ve connected the dots

→ User13 you ain’t connected shit

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User14 idk which one i want to be more

→ User15 that’s because you want to be their third instead 

User16 i’m thirsty. anyone else thirsty

LandoNorris oh god my eyes

→ danielricciardo this is why you should stop looking at x rated things on the internet 

→ User17 what happened to your pr training?

→ Charles_Leclerc what happened to pierre’s?

User18 if only he could transfer this kind of passion onto the track 

User19 uh, the clarity of the third one?? did admin take this and then leak it online? 

→ AlpineF1Team i'm afriad that we’re finding out along with you guys but we’re not gonna pretend like we weren’t rooting for this 

ItsYN why am i trending on twitter?

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ItsYN just posted

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe and others

ItsYN my little pain au chocolat 💕

845 comments

pierregasly we talked about you calling me pastries 

→ ItsYn yes, we did. and i didn’t take into account anything you said

→ pierregasly you are very lucky you're cute

→ ItsYN it's gotten me far in life

User1 talk about a hard launch

→ User2 they weren’t really given the choice considering they were caught snogging all over barcelona last weekend

alpinef1team pierre repping the alpine colours 

→ ItsYN release your chokehold on my man

→ alpinef1team no, you release your chokehold on our man 

→ ItsYN what happened to being supportive of this?

→ alpinef1team that was before all he did was yap about you!

lilymhe babe, this isn’t you. get up and come back to me 

→ ItsYN i’m sorry but i don’t think i can come back from this 

→ lilymhe what about us, what about everything we’ve been through

→ ItsYN you know i never wanted to hurt you

→ alex_albon @ pierregasly guess i’ll be seeing you at the next karaoke marathon 

→ pierregasly only if you sing breaking free with me

→ ItsYN this is why i love you

landonorris let’s take a moment for our fallen soldier… we lost an honourable brit to a french man

→ pierregasly it’s not my fault that i have charm and you don’t 

→ danielricciardo i didn’t realise charm meant having a tantrum when she asks your friend for help to surprise you 

→ pierregasly we agreed not to speak of that! 

→ ItsYN i don’t think you’re living this one down, macaron

charles_leclerc can you tell him to put his clothes back on, please

→ ItsYN i tried but he seems incapable of keeping them on around me

→ pierregasly charles is just jealous of my amazing physique 

→ charles_leclerc best you not talk about jealousy 

User4 @ ItsYN i love that they’ve not had a chance to pr train you yet

→ ItsYN never! 

User5 and they called me crazy when i said friends to lovers! 

→ ItsYN tbf hun, so did we. it took us a minute

→ User6 so pierre is slow on and off the track 

→ pierregasly hey! 

pierregasly just posted

liked by charles_leclerc, yukitsunoda0511 and others

pierregasly from movie nights to drunken karaoke, i would go on any adventure with you 

1,454 comments

ItsYN my best friend and my love 

→ alexandrasaintmleux i thought i was your best friend 

→ ItsYN i’m not allowed to post shirtless pics of you online though

→ charles_leclerc no you are not! 

→ User7 i hope pr never got ahold of her

→ alpinef1team she has an appointment with them on thursday

yukitsunoda0511 is this what they call simping?

→ pierregasly no

→ ItsYN yes

maxverstappen1 does this mean you’ll stop talking about her during driver’s parades?

→ pierregasly no 

→ yukitsunoda0511 he’ll just stop talking about whether she’s interested in any of us 

→ ItsYN he did that?

→ pierregasly no!

→ maxverstappen1 yes, the latest victim was logan

→ charles_leclerc actually i was the latest victim, and i will remain the most famous. my jealousy era is forever captured on the internet 

→ logansargeant @ pierregasly is that why you kept asking me what i thought about her?

landonorris you guys are kinda cute when you’re not yelling at her 

→ ItsYN please stop saying this. i'm the one who has to listen to him apologise over and over for the millionth time

→ pierregasly because i feel bad! 

→ ItsYN omg i know! 

danielricciardo mate, we get it. she’s your girl now but you can let go of her for two seconds. she’s not going to disappear

→ pierregasly it’s called a healthy attachment

→ ItsYN he says whilst cuddled into my neck and following me to the bathroom

lilymhe she’s so hot, drop me her @ please

→ pierregasly back off

→ ItsYN i’m right here bby girl. let me take out on a date 

→ charles_leclerc careful lily or he might start yelling at you next 

alpinef1team we’ve been asked by an anonymous source that you all refrain from discussing previous events. reparations have been made and it’s been advised that such an event remain in the past 

→ danielricciardo lol he ran to mom

→ landonorris anonymous source, my ass. just tag him

→ georgerussell63 this is so lame

→ alex_albon mate, this is more obvious than pierre’s jealousy 

→ charles_leclerc even i cannot support him through this 

→ ItsYN i love you, my little croissant, but i cannot pretend that this is normal

→ pierregasly ultimate betrayal

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Sorry if this wasn’t angst enough. Humour and fluff are more my forte.

As always, F1 requests open for the current grid and retired drivers.

Tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury

(A huge thank you to both of you for wanting to be added to all f1 posts. It means a lot)

[on-leatheredwings]

Co-Conspirator

Yandere! Bruce Wayne x Yandere! (Fem!) Reader 

> romantic > summary: Ever since you asked him to help with your… reconnaissance, he’s been nothing but a great help. And judgment-free. Batman is as paranoid and insane as you are, and that is why he is quite possibly your best friend. > word count: 1285  > [ a/n: just something short, something cute, something for the Girls. i think mutually yandere relationships are a fun dynamic not very explored!!! Still, its pretty mild yandereism here. Trying to warm up to writing bitches who are Actual Freaks . uhhh lmk what you think. hope i communicated the reader's backstory well. the fact she's only a little crazy is amazing, all things considered. i'd love to make a whole fic of this but alas, i am Not Very Good At Plot]

You are dating Bruce Wayne. You bite your lip at the thought, hoping it disguises your shit-eating grin. You have been told you look like a total cheeseball when you daydream. 

It’s a month-long relationship that’s still currently under the radar because you don’t have the luxury of a dual superhero-civilian persona. First, getting trapped in a pocket dimension for 10 years because something-something-Speedforce; next, being booted back into your home dimension and falling out the sky; then, wreaking havoc in Gotham City with your new, uncontrollable powers unmasked and in clear view of Gotham City choppers and news cameras… These things secretive identities do not make. No matter.

Hence why you tend to stay holed up in the Justice League’s Watchtower or your apartment, and rarely go out otherwise. But a month ago, you were bored. Neurotic. You decided to help your good buddy Batman. Fly to Gotham with your power and surprise him on patrol. And, well, you ended up saving Bruce Wayne (and hundreds of other socialites) after a three ton bowling ball careened into a gala at Wayne Tower, courtesy of the Riddler. Your telekinesis kept the whole building from collapsing. You guess that must’ve really turned Bruce Wayne on, because he was shortly afterwards chatting you up and won your phone number. 

On your first date with Gotham’s Most Eligible Bachelor, you blurt out, flustering, that you don’t want to overshadow his charity and all the good work he’s doing. Bruce Wayne dating anyone makes headlines – let alone a superhero. Yes, yes. You simply didn’t want to cramp Bruce Wayne’s philanthropic style. It wasn’t that you were utterly unprepared to have that level of media scrutiny on you and were insecure about dating a man completely out of your league. 

Bruce thanked you for your concern and then kissed you deeply, expertly, for your trouble.

You replay that night’s events in your head, and– goddamnit– cheeseball. You clear your throat and clear your mind.

“I think I’ll want a copy of his birth certificate from Gotham General.”

You glance at Batman, who is seated beside you, and see the corner of his lips quirk. 

“Because you’re going to pull up his birth chart.” Batman knows astrology is an enduring interest of yours. You pout, pulling up Gotham General’s files and sifting through the database. 

“... Maybe.” 

You pause from your search on one of the Justice League’s supercomputers, sneaking a sheepish glance at your co-conspirator. Ever since you asked him to help with your… reconnaissance, he’s been nothing but a great help. And judgment-free. Batman is as paranoid and insane as you are, and that is why he is quite possibly your best friend. 

You flush. “You know– I– Thanks, Bats. Really. I’m glad you aren’t acting all weird about this.”

Batman doesn’t say anything, but you know that he’s giving you his full attention. 

“Like, I’m not a freak or anything. I just have to make sure I know what I’m getting into.” You puff your cheeks. “Know he’s… you know. Good.” 

What a lie. You’re just scared and don’t want to get caught with your pants down. Despite being an actual living, breathing, metahuman and superhero… Bruce is the one with the power in this relationship. He’s… everything. Encapsulating. Towering. Anyone would want him. You think of the lingering looks very, very beautiful women give him. Everyone does want him. 

You feel a pang of violent loathing and nausea that is tided over when Batman speaks.

“... I know plenty about Bruce Wayne. He’s… good.”

Your brows rise. You’ve only known the man for a few months but even you know that’s a glowing compliment coming from Batman. His highest praise on most people is usually neutral at best. “Hmm… okay.” You turn back to your work, laughing. “Well. I also just think he’s kind of interesting to learn about. What other celebrity has this much lore? The prodigal son… Prince of Gotham… Collector of orphans… Gotham’s Most Eligible Bachelor...” 

You worry your lip, gnashing your teeth. Bachelor. That’s what everyone thinks he is, right? You blink and curiously turn to Batman, whose hands are flying across a keyboard, hard at work. You hope you’re not bothering him. W-well, he’d say if I were, right? you think.

“Is it weird if I put cameras in Wayne Manor?”

Batman stills and your throat dries. Damn.

“... Um… Too weird…?” 

After a tentative silence, Batman responds.

“... No. You’re just covering your bases.”

Your cheeks fill with color as being vindicated – a view you don’t know makes his heart race marginally quicker.

“Yeah!” You cough, composing yourself. “I mean, yeah. You can learn a lot about someone from what they get up to when they think they’re alone.” You can also make sure they’re not bringing anyone home, but you keep that part to yourself.

“I could plant them, if you need. I have plenty made for this kind of surveillance.” 

You’re smiling widely, wheeling your chair over to Batman’s side before you know it. 

“... God. Batman, you magnificent mind, you. This is why we’re buddies.” You lean over and poke his chest cheekily, right on the bat emblem. 

Bruce has to restrain himself from catching your hand on its retreat. Your poke burns a hole in his chest for minutes afterward, and he welcomes every second of it. He turns back to his computer screen, vainly attempting to not think about how much he wants to kiss you right now.

Perhaps Bruce should’ve simply asked you out as Batman. You spend much more time when he’s under the cowl than not. But frankly, you would’ve been too distracted during missions. Hell, he would’ve been too distracted. He already thinks of you all the time. 

Your investigation into Bruce Wayne has tripped several of his alarms, even before you told him of it. Anyone making inquiries with this level of depth draws his attention. Nothing you’re looking is anything he’s averse to you knowing, so he’s allowed you to investigate him freely and without redirection. But of course, you don’t know that. The effort you’re making is… cute. The fact you don’t know that Batman is Bruce is cute. You think you have the upper hand. And that’s… cute.

Bruce doesn’t think too deeply about your stalking, even though he probably should. It’s probably evidence of an unstable individual. He’s sure ten years alone with no stimuli in a pocket dimension does things to a person. But who was he to judge? He’s violated the privacy and boundaries of everyone who affects his life in any important way. Nor does he claim to be a shining example of ideal mental health. 

And at the end of the day, this situation is all under his control.

There is a small part of him that feels guilty for keeping his identity under wraps, but there’s a bigger part that’s amused. You don’t know that he’s had your birth certificate since the day after you met. You don’t know that there’s about twenty cameras working 24/7 in and out of your apartment. Or that he’s your new landlord. These are things he’ll tease you about once he confesses that he’s Batman. You’ve made him someone who likes to tease. 

Still, Bruce remains hesitant about telling you. How would you react? Would you feel betrayed? Hurt? Dread floods his bloodstream, an effect only the most depraved individuals in his rogues gallery tend to have on him. 

Would you leave him? Hate him?

His eyes skirt towards where you sit. You worry your lip, eyes glued to a plan of Wayne Manor, no doubt debating where you want him to place the cameras he’s offered. Tension leaves his shoulders, almost imperceptible. 

Luckily, the chances of that seem slim.

[genderqueerdykes]

extremely fascinating that I'm seeing folks posting, disappointed that you "turned out to be" pro endo, when your pro endo posts go back to 2022???? this isn't a new development????

sorry that other folks are incapable of being normal about people with opinions that don't match theirs, please picture a ridiculous video of a cat on a skateboard as compensation

i guess not every person has been following me since then and i do understand that i only speak up on it sporadically when it occurs to me, but yes, correct! i've been pro endo since the very start of this blog! i'm glad you acknowledge that LOL

this is not a new development in the slightest- i am here to support all plurals. i've been friends with endogenic systems my entire adult life. why would i be here to spit in their faces? like i guess i haven't mentioned it all that much but i've been friends with a TON of different endogenic systems over the course of my time in the otherkin and online plural communities. why would i attack my friends?

idk why people think that dissociative plurals and other plurals can't get along or be friends, but i've literally been friends with more endogenic, natural and spiritual systems than i have other dissociative systems. not intentionally, but it's how the cards fell. like idk why people would assume that because i have DID, it means that i could never, ever support or be friends with other kinds of plurals, but it's dead wrong

that's why i'm not holding back on discussing my stance on the matter. treating non-dissociative systems like shit simply for existing is perpetuating the cycle of abuse. i don't *care* that you have trauma, it's not an excuse to attack someone else. you can't let yourself take someone else's identity personally like that. someone just sitting there being themselves doesn't deserve death threats. dissociative plurals and endogenic plurals are holding hands and learning each others' headmates names and eating pastries and watching the sunrise together. we are on the same team- we are friends, siblings, family, and lovers.

thank you for this message, i appreciate it! take care of yourself!

[ramonag-if]

Hi Ramona! First off, hope you had a happy holiday and thanks again for opening the patreon demo for the public. Such a nice Christmas gift. I didn’t get a chance to play the nomad route but the speedrun Vinia route I managed to squeeze in was drama enough oof. Brought my MC’s main squeeze Oren to the family dinner and it wasn’t as much of a disaster as anticipated but still wildly uncomfortable. Should have brought Irus lol. And poor Uncle Belahm and Zikar. 😭 my heart breaks for them. Truly think uncle Belahm would have thrown hands with Salyra if he hadn’t been holding his baby girl. And man Zikar gambling and drinking to deal with the grief. My poor MC is so worried and so am I.

But ooohh that bombshell with Oren’s family if you have dinner with them. I had to do a speed run due to time constraints but did I read that right? Oren is originally from Ishari? 👀 bound to cause some, uh, interesting conversations. I assume that’s why he was wildly uncomfortable in the southern islands after the confrontation with Emos. Probably thinking “oh man didn’t realize MC got treated THAT bad growing up and being judged for being Ishari, I dodged a bullet there but I kinda feel guilty MC didn’t get the same luck, maybe I should say something…” but I can imagine that growing up a traumatized orphan refugee from a wartorn country is not something he would want to talk about. But it does explain the “gotta protect my loved ones and be useful” energy radiating off of his broad shoulders.

And OHH SHIT the multiple political bombshells of Irus’ mom killing his dad and his uncle killing Elora’s dad. 👀 and the slap in the face that Salyra continues to keep BIG secrets from everyone. And the feelings of resentment Elora must feel towards her mom who judges her for her youth and inexperience in leadership but also dipped to the southern islands when her husband died. Like what was Elora /supposed/ to do?! Someone had to pick up the pieces.

I adore your world-building and the incredible character depth you continue to create. Can’t wait for the rest!!!

Happy holidays to you as well! 💖😊

You're right, both of the royals bring out the worst of Salyra's temper/rudeness at the family dinner. Oren is definitely more of a peacekeeper in tense situations.

Yes, the Vinia family are struggling with grief in their own ways. Siduri is trying to make the family whole again with Salyra, Belahm is angry and sad at Salyra, but also trying to be strong for his kiddos and Zikar is definitely... trying to keep it together but failing terribly at it.

Yes! Oren is adopted but something that was mentioned is that a lot of children who were orphaned in the war were taken in by Vinia families. Oren was born in Ishari and spent his early childhood there but it's something he's tried to forget because like Anu, he lost his birth parents and family in the war. Unlike Anu, Oren was the fortunate few who got sent to Vinia where he was adopted by his fathers and got to live a fairly secure and happy life. So yes, if you noticed Oren's discomfort with Emos, your reasoning is correct 😋

There are tons of political bombshells in Part 4, a lot of which is going to change the main cast for better or worse. The MC has had it bad and so have the others, so they're not all going to be happy and rallying for peace as much as they were a few chapters ago 😅 In the Nomad Tribes, there's also the chance for Irus to kill a chief and you can set fire to the encampment so a lot of consequences are going to follow in Chapter 12's main battle. Elora was serious about sending her mother away to the Southern Islands – Amera has been interfering in Elora's rule of Vinia and the girl has had enough of her meddling ways. She's definitely going to lose the softness that she's had in the past in the last few chapters.

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you're enjoying the characters and their troubling lives 😅

[clemswinecorner-socials]

Sponsor - Y/N's posts

(pls ignore me literally using a pic with Pierre as Paul and y/n lol) Find Health in Help (fhih) is Y/N's mental health organisation, she's a selfmade millionaire and slaying away (this one is for my babe @riffiandenador)

paul's posts (will be up soon) ralf's posts (will be up soon)

fhif_sports and prema_racing

liked by paularon_, callum_ilott and others

fhih_sports Find Health In Help Sports is very excited to announce its multi-year partnership with junior series team Prema racing starting from 2023. FHIH founder y/n y/l/n: "I'm so so so happy about this partnership! I have always loved prema's work ethic as well as the atmosphere they seem to have. They have always been a team that prioritizes giving the drivers and employees a good and comfortable work environment, which Find Health In Health strongly encourages. Glad to be a part of the iconic team! Prema teamboss Rene Rosin: Mental health plays a big part in motorsports, and we're very glad to have started a partnership with the company. Having worked with the organization before and speaking to Y/N multiple times made this partnership an easy decision that we're all very happy with. tagged prema_racing, fhih_sports

posted febuary 6th, 2023

formula2 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 yourusername 🫶🏼🫶🏼 randomuser prema partnering with a woman founded mental health organization focusing in sports? we stan olliebearman such a great initiative, it's so cool to be driving around with fhih on the car!! prema_racing excited about the partnership! ... view more comments

Yourusername

liked by aronpaul, prema_racing and others

yourusername Excited to announce that I will be a personal sponsor of FIA F3 driver @/paularon_ from the 2023 season Absolutely honoured to be a part of this journey, as I admire Paul both as a person and racing driver that is able to go many places. Excited to see what you can do and to be a part of this, Paul!

This post is so formal, but on a real note: I can't wait to travel around with you and the team and see you win champ! Excited to see what the season brings. tagged paularon_

posted febuary 6th, 2023

ynfanaccount she’s that succesful that she does not only give a shit ton of money to the W series, she also personally sponsors a (very good) driver + she sponsors/funds so many other things with her companies as well including a race team

motorsportsfan she sponsored the W series? ynfanaccount yes! shes very lowkey about being a huge part of the investors, but she's very open about supporting it

jamiechadwick so excited for you! i'm going to miss your company in the states

yourusername i'm going to miss seeing you! i'll be sure to visist ;)

… view more comments

Yourusername

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

liked by frederikvesti, fhih.sports and others

yourusername second raceweek of the season baby! tagged paularon_, aronralf, prema_racing

posted march 17th, 2023

prema_racing let’s get it💪🏼💪🏼 olliebearman dissapointed you didnt put it that beautiful picture of me randomfan it's business and aesthetic your insta really has it all

yourusername the aesthetic what motivates me

randomperson ralf😍😍 paularon_ 🛷?

yourusername slay!

... view more comments

Yourusername

Jeddah

liked by paularon_, felipedrugovich and others

yourusername double win baby!! what a weekend. so proud🫠🫠 tagged paularon_, aronralf

posted march 19th, 2023

aronralf 🏆🏆 randomfan the pic of ralf and paul😭😭 dinobeganovic_ looking lovely in the last one @/paul_aron

paularon_ i know

paularon_ thanks for being there this weekend🫶🏼

yourusername always here to support you champ

… view more comments

Yourusername

liked by robertschwartzman, chrisolsen and others

yourusername always love (birth)days at the factory! paul also celebrated his wins (!!) that's definitely why I came to Italy, here for work purposes only 100% tagged prema_racing, aronralf

posted march 22nd, 2023

premafan are you sure the reason was work and not ralfs birthday?

yourusername idk am i?

paularon_ thanks mate @/dinobeganovic_ aronralf i thought you said bday post?

yourusername this post is for ralfs bday btw! yourusername that okay? @/aronralf aronralf👍🏼

… view more comments

Yourusername

Rome, Italia

liked by dinobeganovic, annaaron and others

yourusername rome vacay with the babes tagged aronralf, paularon_

posted may 10th, 2023

aronralf i thought that second pic was for my mom

yourusername dw she recieved it 👍🏻

fanaccount thank you for providing us🙏🏼🙏🏼 paularon_ where did you get the third picture.

yourusername did a pic for pic with my fav aron

randomfan y/n calling paul and ralfs mom her fav aron is iconic

… view more comments

Yourusername

Tallinn, Estonia

liked by maxfewtrell, jackdoohan and others

yourusername homeboys took me to their homeland tagged aronralf, paularon_, annaaron_

posted june 12th, 2023

dinobeganovic_ where was i?

paularon_ not invited

randomfan paul is such a model 😍🙏🏼 aronralf oohlala otherfan did she just join their family vacation

anotherone i honestly think she went to meet the family🫣🫣 shes been getting close with ralf *emoji*

… view more comments

Yourusername

liked by paularon_, prema_racing and others

yourusername so,, sponsoring paul has some benefits! one of them might be his brother… tagged aronralf

posted august 1st, 2023

aronralf this is how you tell people we're together? randomfan its all making sense now paularon_ youre welcome btw

yourusername acting as if it wasnt my personal choice to sponsor you specifically🙄🙄

otherfan ralf has been posting her for ages how did we not notice😭😭 andmorefans “you specifically” miss girl are you trying to tell us sponsoring paul was all a plan to date ralf

yourusername it might have been taken into consideration

… view more comments

[thelipsticklounge]

Hello! I was the person who wrote the Moana 2 review, and I saw in your comments about having the unpopular opinion about Lin Manuel Miranda not being in it, and I wanted to say that I agree with you 100% I didn't mention it in the original post, and as someone who does like Lin Manuel Miranda's stuff, I 100% agree and felt the same way, and liked that he wasn't a part of of Moana 2.

1.) Because you are right, he really could have had Ta Vaka do "We Know The Way" but inserted himself, and I did think that was weird at the time, but didn't question it to much when it came out in 2016... But now listening to it, I think it is weird and a bit disrespectful that he sang on it.

2.) I just believe that a soundtrack is allowed to be good without Lin Manuel having anything to do with it. Yeah, it was 2 white women, but they didn't insert themselves into it and it gives them a chance to learn from this soundtrack to hopefully go on to produce other better soundtracks on different things. Everyone's gotta start somewhere, and quite frankly... in another "unpopular opinion" I feel like Lin Manuel is kind of... inserting himself in too many things in general that he really doesn't need to insert himself on.

Just wanted to say you're not alone in your opinion and respect you for saying it!

I am so glad at least someone agrees because everyone on tiktok is saying they miss LMM but they were all complaining about him?

I think the only thing Barlow and Bear did I guess “wrong” but more of ignorantly is Maui’s song in Moana 2 being “Can I Get a Chee Hoo?” It really does take away from the significance of what the chee hoo is. And I have a ton of thoughts on Dwayne Johnson’s representation of us Pacific Islanders or more his lack thereof, but he doesn’t help that either also. There’s interviews where people ask him what his culture means to him and he’s like “well I was born here and my grandparents are buried here” but that doesn’t really mean anything. Anyways I digress. In another interview he says something along the lines that a chee hoo just means excitement. But its cultural and historical meaning has so much depth that he could emphasize on. But honestly I don’t think that is simply Barlow and Bear’s fault because there are so many people that could have told them and they didn’t. Honestly the song isn’t that great in general but I think that’s because they were trying to mimic LMM when they could have given Maui a completely different sound especially with his character development in the last movie.

But yes I say it all as a Lin Manuel-Miranda fan also.

Plus also, Barlow and Bear are amazing musicians. Despite all of their mistakes with the Bridgerton musical thing they did, it was an amazing work and seemingly the reason they got this job. And the music is so good in Moana 2 and I don’t understand why people are shitting on it. Get Lost is my favorite song in a Disney movie since Show Yourself in Frozen 2.

So anyways, all that to say, I am a Moana 2 apologist and all the haters can fight me.

[tojiscrack]

HELLO WIFEY IM BACK.

before i go to our regularly scheduled shitbag content, LETS TAKE A MOMENT FOR THE NEW CHAPTER OF LIAR LIAR???

HELLO I LOVED IT SMMMMMM

I AM SO GLAD THAT GOJO CLOCKED SUKUNA'S TEA! i cannot wait to see the future dynamics that come from this

ALSO Y/N SITTING ON GOJO'S SHOULDERS IS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT

i was also so grateful to not have to read kamo speak in this chapter. brought me much joy. even tho Y/N'S BITCH ASS WAS SPENDING TOO MCUH TIME WITH HIM.

but i was very glad that megumi is starting to show more interest in her semi romantically.

now if you tear this away from me, i will hunt you down and shiv you when you least expect it.

for legal reasons, this is a joke.

I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!!

now back to our regularly schedule programming.

'like you seem sceptical but it’s not BAD 😫'

uh huh... sure... tbf i dont like beans

'i’ve never tried a desi breakfast ☹️ but i don’t doubt that it tastes great! it looks really good too 👀'

it's so yummy

'DON’T BE SURPRISED WHEN I SLIDE INTO UR DMS INTERROGATING YOU ABOUT THE AMERICAN GRADING SYSTEM 😫🫶🏽'

YES OMGGGGGGG I GOTCHUUUU

'but i just don’t think shin ramen is for me'

NONONO U CANT MIX THINGS UP THE FIRST TIME U TRY IT!!!

lemme put u onto a recipe

so, ur gonna just cook the noodles from the shin ramen with about a cup and a half of water. then, ur gonna take a bit of that water and add it to some peanut butter. hey hey hey stay with me now. trust my process. then, mix in the seasoning packet. and then add it to the noodles and let it simmer for a tiny bit of time. AND THEN BAM. banger noodles.

'ok but we also know that kay comes into my inbox every other day to chat shit about you 🌝'

this is the most british sentence ive seen in my life BUT YES U ARE RIGHT

'me personally, i think you should cut him off completely 😬 block button is free + he has a gf so i think just out of respect for that (even if he himself doesn’t respect that) you should do ur part by untangling urself from any of that 🫡'

see the issue here is, before we had our situationship, he was my guy best friend. and we have MANY mutual friends and are in tons of gc together. it just wouldn't work out to block him. thats the rlly annoying part.

'HOW IS HE EVEN PULLING YOU AND THAT OTHER GIRL?? 😭'

I HAVE NO CLUE. IT'S TERRIBLE

'start ur life anew (without him) and let him wonder how his life would’ve been sm better with you in it if he had treated you right and been a better person 😋'

I WISH BRO

'i’d hate to see how you’d behave with a girl you DON’T like 💀'

lowk bro acts the same LMAOOO

also i realized this today but part of the reason why i think he didnt tell me ab him and his ex getting back tgth is he knew i HATED his ex LMAOOO

'however, you should never rely on a man for his money, being financially dependent is a necessity'

oh of course not queen. i am a cs baddie on the rise. we both go to a college prep school. relying on him for money was never an option 😋😋😋😋

'everyone’s too busy caring about themselves to do anything about it :)'

our grade is so tiny we have nothing better to do than talk ab other ppl i fear....

and when i say our grade is tiny, i mean it. like most public schools have graduating classes of like

ehh 500 or so.

our graduating class is going to be 70 people.

'not until you wipe ur mouth from that indirect kiss from that THING you call a man 😐'

I STARTED CACKLING HELLO

'tojis bumcrack ‘cause i find that hilarious HAHAHA 😭😭'

YES OMG THATS WHAT I WAS HOPING IT WAS

'‘cause we’re exchanging cute nicknames but then he’s come back to ruin it :/'

i think shitbag for u in my asks is like kamo for me in ur story 😋😋😋

'DO NOT INVITE HIM TO UR PARTY 🌝'

THE ISSUE IS IVE TOLD HIM AB IT A LOT....

so the new shitbag lore is that

in a gc i have w him and some of my close friends, i was complaining about not having a bf and how i want one so bad.

and i get a call. i do not see who it is. i assume it's my mother bc it's late at night and i'm making too much noise. i answer the phone.

it's shit bag.

he turns the call into a ft and screenshares our school's directory, asking me what i think of every guy on the thing.

i think he's trying to set me up with one of them.

we narrow it down to the only two guys in my grade i'd consider being even slightly attracted to.

he decides to add a third guy to this list.

for this, there is more lore u must know.

back when me and shitbag were just bsfs, i rlly liked one of shitbag's friends. lets call him niceguy. niceguy, like his name, was rlly nice and rlly funny. and i've known him since 2nd grade bc we went to the same elementary and middle school.

and i started liking niceguy this summer bc i worked with him at a summercamp. it was lots of fun. and i ended up inviting him to my bday party and he came and we got a picture tgth which ended up being rlly cute.

i would talk to shitbag a lot ab niceguy, asking for advice and shit.

and then one day, i am looking through my phone. and at this point, we had our homecoming dance within 2 weeks of the present day. and i was rlly hoping niceguy would ask me bc we texted a lot and talked a lot in person. and a lot of ppl rlly thought he might like me back.

but as i'm going through instagram, i see his story is him, one of my not so close friends, and a hoco proposal sign.

i am torn. i am distraught. i have a 4 hour ft call with shitbag to discuss it.

and niceguy and the friend i'm not so close with start dating from that day forward.

after a month or so, they break up.

and that is why, shitbag wants me to add niceguy back to the list.

where was i going with this? uhhhh... oh right. so shitbag ended up fting me for too damn long going through our directory.

and then i told him i was gonna go sleep (WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD OF BC WHEN I LIKED HIM, I WOULD STAY UP AND FT WHENEVER HE ASKED AND WOULD WAIT TIL HE WANTED TO SLEEP LMAOO)

and i havent texted him since!

now, on better news. i am currently replaying mystic messenger. i do not know if u know this game but i played it when iw as 13 and i am feeling very nostalgic as of late so i had to hop back on the game. i am having much fun and i think this is part of the reason why i havent been texting shitbag back.

god bless for fictional men!

anyways how is your life going wifey?

i think this may be the last of the shitbag updates so shorter asks coming soon!

LMAOOO

bye pookie

HI HI HELLO <3

‘I AM SO GLAD THAT GOJO CLOCKED SUKUNA'S TEA!’ — can you tell i’m a very biased gojo stan? 😋‼️ sukuna lovers are in enemy territory rn i’m jk, like yeah i hate that thing with a PASSION, but idc if you love no-neck-ed LMAOO

‘ALSO Y/N SITTING ON GOJO'S SHOULDERS IS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT’ — i HAD to implement dadjo in the series bc as much as his relationship with the characters in canon was more like a fun older brother looking out for his students, he’s so father coded, specifically during the exchange event in s1 of jjk 😫 like his behaviour was sooo embarrassing-dad-supporting-his-kids (and the fit looked delicious like yum yum i’m eating well tonight 😁)

‘i was also so grateful to not have to read kamo speak in this chapter. brought me much joy’ — HELP HE’S JUST A GUY WITH A CRUSH 😭 the kamo hate is so funny yet i feel so bad for him 💀 but keep ‘em coming, it still lowkey brings me joy HAHAHA

‘even tho Y/N'S BITCH ASS WAS SPENDING TOO MCUH TIME WITH HIM’ — girl any more of the y/n criticism from you and i’m gonna start to think you hate our poor mc 🫵🏽😟🫷🏽

but just to be clear, it was just a tutoring session with kamo. they weren’t hanging-out-hanging-out, iygwim?

‘if you tear this away from me, i will hunt you down and shiv you when you least expect it’ — 🌝

i’ve been keeping my windows and doors locked SINCE the malakai hate train started a couple months ago, ‘cause i knew that if that poor emo kid was getting hate ‘cause of a random ANON who started shipping him and y/n (they’ve still yet to reveal themselves 🤨) then the kamo hate would rise astronomically from the very same ppl 😭

now with that threat, i humbly remind you of the ‘angst’ tag 🌝 no comment on anything after that

‘for legal reasons, this is a joke’ — i sURE HOPE SO??? 😭

‘I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!!’ — IAISNWISNWIEJ ME TOO, but unfortunately, at some point from here and up until june, there are gonna be super slow updates :( i’ll address that another time tho! <3

now for the rest of the askkk :)

there’s a problem with ur shin ramen recipe…

i am (unfortunately) a very picky eater. and i hate peanut butter ☹️ but you probably already guessed that with the ‘hey hey hey stay with me now’ 🥴 i’m sorry, peanut butter is vile

shin ramen is just not for me ig 🥲

now as for shitbag… ik you mention that you guys have mutual friends and are in several gc’s tgth, so maybe blocking him is just not possible here, but giving him clipped responses when he texted and declining face-times is very much possible, i believe 😁 get away from that sad excuse of a human being kay, PLS

like you can text him when he texts you first (the italics here are important) but make sure they’re very simple responses, nothing he can use as an opportunity to build on. and 4hr face-times are a nO NO.

absolutely no.

he has a gf, you are not his gf, and even if you DESPISE who he’s currently with, be the better person and leave it 😭

there! problem solved! 😋

‘also i realised this today but part of the reason why i think he didnt tell me ab him and his ex getting back tgth is he knew i HATED his ex’ — hmmm, this tells me a lot about him already 💀 i’m sorry kay, i do NOT like this imposter who-entered-earth-without-a-visa 😐

‘I STARTED CACKLING HELLO’ — HAHAHA 😭 i’m dead serious. i don’t like that guy. i even feel like ‘shitbag’ as a name for him is a compliment, if anything.

‘i think shitbag for u in my asks is like kamo for me in ur story😋😋😋’ — FREEZE 🤨🤚🏽

i don’t not support kamo hate, but i don’t support it either. and yet, this one sentence is the only kamo-hate-sentence that lowkey has me tweaking.

do not compare our respectful-nonchalant-dreadhead-kamo to that bin-juice-of-a-human-being-SHITBAG. EVER 🤢

‘so the new shitbag lore is that’ — STOP ✋🏽 HALT 🛑

did i forget to mention that i DETEST shitbag with my whole entire being?

‘and then i told him i was gonna go sleep (WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD OF BC WHEN I LIKED HIM, I WOULD STAY UP AND FT WHENEVER HE ASKED AND WOULD WAIT TIL HE WANTED TO SLEEP LMAOO)’ — CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 🥳 WE LOVE TO SEE IT

ok good, you’re not longer texting that unique-breed-of-human-kind, got my first point out of the way real quick. don’t ever text him unless he texts you

secondly, niceguy’s available. probably the only thing i agree with shitbag with. you should get with niceguy :)

my personal opinion that i have rooted to the core is to stay single forever and ever, marry fictional men and die in love with them, ‘cause that’s been my plan for as long as i can remember and look at me: no situationships, no drama, no SHITBAGS 🤭

‘now, on better news’ — YESSS

‘i do not know if you know this game’ — i’m not aware of it. even when i looked it up, i was a little confused haha. i was a moviestarplanet, stardoll, baby hazel, moshi monsters, bin weevils, purble place, club penguin, sarah’s cooking class, papa’s freezeria, pizzaria, hotdogaria (etc), roblox girly through and through 🥴

but i am super glad you are starting to find enjoyable things to look back on that take you away from the negative doom-cloud that is shitbag! 😙 idek you irl but that genuinely makes me so happy for youuuu <3

‘god bless for fictional men!’ — ameen 🌝

‘anyways how is your life going wifey?’ — ugh, don’t even get me started 😀 i’m living vicariously through you, honestly 😭

‘i think this may be the last of the shitbag updates so shorter asks coming soon!’ — THEY CAN STILL BE LONG, I LOVE HEARING ABOUT UR DAY AND STUFF AND GETTING TO KNOW YOU, but i’m glad shitbag will no longer be the centre of our conversations (literally who does he think he is, starring as a mc in MY blog)

I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAYYY ;)

[nfumbewalk]

Graveyard Thoughts

My gramps, the Norwegian. Born in Butte, Montana to Tonyus and Jessie Barstad. He was a Sergeant/cook in the Army - in da rear wit da gear. Not a fighter nor a hero. He turned into a drunk. Military does that. Brother was too for a while.

Yeah, so I'm thinking about my favorite graveyards. How peaceful and how pretty they are. The only places I'll stay in during the summertime heat and be totally unfazed and comfy. Summer evenings are perfect. The roses fill the air with their scent while the unfortunate cottonwood balls make my nose and eyes itch - but I care naught! Its too beautiful not to linger in the grass and talk to my honey.

There's nothing like the atmosphere of a graveyard when your OPEN. By open, I mean in several ways. Being open to hanging out there without anyone's or your judgement. Being open and accepting of the muertos and the Death Energy that is present. Being open to the possibilities of what can occur in a graveyard. Being open to facing fears you may have of graveyards. Being open to new experiences in graveyards. And being open to new gifts that you may receive in a graveyard.

So these things here explain quite a bit about what being on a necromantic path entails (tons of graveyard work) but lots of ppl get stuck on fears and judgement. Two reasons why this path doesn't work for many ppl.

There is absolutely NO "shadow work" on necromantic paths that I know of, otherwise my friend, the late, Leilah Wendell would have surely wrote about it. That's all psychological garbage written by Jung that has nada to do with real shadows/wraiths - otherwise known as muertos!

An old enemy of mine (now non-existent to me), said passionately that "you don't need to hang out in graveyards to work with the dead" (muertos). Well, no, you don't, but many of us Necro folks just naturally like graveyards. And we don't have to don black clothing either! I'll be damned! I love black. Why? Because I cannot keep other colors clean! I'm serious! Plus it is figure flattering. 😉 I don't like most gothic music, just old shit. I prefer The Rolling Stones. True fan since birth. It is Keith Richards birthday today. He's fugging ancient but he's my favorite Stone. 😘

Anyways, back to Paint It, Black. Lol. Ppl don't realize the power of graveyards. Some even say they're dead!! Not true. Rodolfo told me that he sometimes acts like a sentinel at his grave, though not for long periods. He told me there's some sick and evil ppl buried there.

There's more bikers like him. Lol. But no, some very bad ppl. He has also seen weird stuff too. Guess there were some odd occult happenings that used to take place on the old country road that leads to the graveyard. Tom told me about it since he knows the history around here. I only know Portland. Hellhole. Glad I'm gone.

Great graveyards up there though. My favorite is Lone Fir, where my mom and grandma are interred. And a very old graveyard in old North Portland called Columbian, where I used to see a muerto from the Spanish-American War. Located his faded grave. Before I knew about his involvement in the war (I knew he was military because of his uniform), I found his uniform and dated it myself, using books! That was before the internet existed. Circa mid-1995.

Hope my post ain't boring. Just getting my story out there furiously. I know my writing is read, even if I don't get notes.

To start closing this post...I really have a passion and almost wicked zeal for things that are death related. It started when I was only 4-years-old. It was my first memory of seeing Janet Leigh being murdered in the shower by Anthony Perkins. I fell in love with everything.

The shrill string music, the knife slashing and the blood going down the drain...at my young age, I knew I wanted to see more! Weird and morbid, yes. But death is me. Always has been. Am I psycho? No. Since I've been this way most of my life, I've had few friends. Why? No one has ever met my interests. I have few friends now but I'm not lonely either. I have my Twin Flame - and we've been together for 21 years come the 26th this month.

Suppose I'm rambling. Very tired. L8R.

M.M. 💖💀💖

[lees-chaotic-brain]

hooray!! congrats on the good news, i hope the streak continues!

okay i'm glad you won't be uncomfortable with the stuff i interact with. i didn't bother with any warnings on my blog bc i'm mostly here to consume things and don't expect too many people to wander by lol. but! since i have been coming out of my lil lurker basement lately i finally at least added a color scheme to it so i look less like a bot.

oh man oh man where to start on tea and jackets? what are your go-to's for either? i'm kind of a tea purist-i prefer tea the east asian (chinese/japanese/korean) way, just pure tea leaves and occasional aromatics with no additional sugar or cream unless i'm specifically making a milk tea. i don't really like herbal teas. i want that camellia sinensis in my shit. my default tea rn is probably hojicha. i made a sunrise burnt basque hojicha cheesecake and though the layers didn't come out as cleanly as i wanted it tasted lovely. a tumblr friend on here inspired me to try out the burnt basque with a FANTASTIC green thai tea i have next! (if you're in the market for the green thai tea and are usa-based i cannot recommend it enough. it's so unique bc green thai is uncommon in the states already, and most of it comes from the powder packets but the one i have is all whole ingredients, no extracts or dye or flavor enhancements and it is DIVINE. sooo fragrant with pandan and vanilla and mint. i will scarf down anything with pandan in it but this is especially lovely)

i basically only own leather jackets or blazers, i have an embarassing amount of both. i did just do a closet purge with a friend's help though and i am proud of say i got rid of like, 16 college-era (p)leather jackets and blazers that had seen better days/are no longer in style

ty for sticking around for my D1 yapping!

dw abt it LMAO. it's not super apparent, but if you look close enough you can see my inner hoe poking through in my tags, so yes. i definitely consume smut and dark content and am looking forward to seeing your stuff on my dash 🤭

omg and for tea? i literally drink any and all kinds of tea. so again, if you've been on my blog long enough/look closely i'm pretty sure i've mentioned it before but i'm half korean, and i while i love all kinds of tea, the tea my mom made for me are nostalgic and bring me comfort. i almost always drink my teas plain (chai being the only exception) or with a little bit of honey.

i LOVE herbal teas. i can't really drink a ton of caffeine with my adhd meds or i genuinely start tweaking. like twitching and all that shit, so i normally drink other teas even though i really enjoy green and black teas :')

THAT TEA AND CHEESECAKE BOTH SOUND SO GOOD OMG

i'm a sucker for jackets and boots, and while i don't have too many, i definitely own a few, but i'll probably reblog this post and rant about them later lmao

if you're interested, here is a comprehensive list of my top ten favorite teas (in no particular order), how i drink them, and why. thank you for attending my lecture.

1. you are so right about hojicha. i love green tea, but my absolute favorite variation of green tea is nokcha. i love the extra flavor the brown rice brings to it. i normally drink it plain, but if i'm feeling fancy i'll steam a little milk and add a drizzle of honey

2. this definitely isn't korean, but when i was little my mom would make me this tea and it was so, so, so, good. it's basically just a stick of cinnamon, some apples slices up, orange and lemon peel, and a little bit of honey boiled together for like an hour. it's literally my favorite thing to drink in the fall bc it just warms me up from the inside

3. oksusu-cha. it's basically a korean tea made from roasted corn kernels and i really, really, like it. it's different from a lot of teas in the sense that it's almost savory, but its taste is very unique and almost earthy? idk how to describe it but i highly recommend trying it. i always drink it plain, but pouring it over heukmi bap (korean purple rice) and eating is also amazing

4. earl gray. i know this one is very british and different from the rest of the teas i drink, but i love having a cup of it once in a while! i drink it black sometimes, but i'll also drink it with either lemon and honey, or a little milk and honey

5. chamomile my love. i love love love a nice cup of chamomile before bed while i'm reading a book! i almost always drink it plain, but if i'm on my period i add a spoonful of honey

6. hibiscus tea. while this isn't necessarily my favorite taste wise, it brings back a lot of memories from when i was little and would go to a cafe with my mom. not to say i don't enjoy the flavor, it's just a little too sweet and a little too tart for me to drink a lot of

7. gyulpi cha. it's a korean citrus peel tea (not unlike #2) and it's really, really, good. i always drink it plain.

8. chai. this is the only type of tea i drink with a ton of stuff in it. i'm currently boycotting starbucks, but i love their iced chai latte with sweet cream foam. during fall i normally get it with some pumpkin flavoring lol. however i barely consider the drink tea at this point lmao

9. lavender tea. i absolutely love a cup of lavender tea before bed. i always drink it plain, and think the scent is so calming!

10. and finally lilac tea. i love lilacs. growing up we had a massive lilac bush and the smell always brings me back. i really enjoy its subtly sweet and floral flavor, and always drink it plain.

anyways, that's it for the tea lmao.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

the way you’re so onboard with alba just shows that you’re most likely a white person who doesn’t care about nazism and racism. y’know, cuz those things don’t affect you, right?

btw your “angel” posted her own nudes on ig for everyone, including chris’ underage nieces, to see. glad to know that’s who you’re supporting.

check your privilege please

related to this

Normally, I don't engage in stuff like this for a variety of reasons... anon critique and/or hate tends to be motivated purely to solicit a reaction, yet there's only a small chance the person that sent this will actually ever see (or read, for that matter) my response, I'm not a gossip blog, nor am I the place people come for hard-hitting discussions on issues like racism, antisemitism, homophobia/transphobia, sexism, misogyny, ableism, or any of the other awful human-made categories of hate that plague us. I'm a fantasy blog--hence the fact that I do fictional as well as real person ships. But, I do occasionally post stuff about the real lives of the people that I include in this fantasy blog--that's what the tag "real life real people" is. It's for others to filter if they want. That's why I tag those kinds of posts in such a way. (Alba is also always tagged, filter that way, too, if you like). I occasionally post that kind of stuff because sometimes, it's fun to post about the real lives of these people I have a parasocial relationship to. And its fun to have somewhere for people to express their excitement of/for those people. Personally, I'm much more partial to allowing excitement than negativity. It's my space, I do curate it extensively.

That being said, yes, I'm white. I'm a man, and I'm mostly straight-passing unless I deliberately out myself to others. I have a lot of privileges. I won't and don't deny that.

Nor will I deny that I haven't done really any research on Alba--the tags for her and Chris these days are nearly always full of hate or extensive theories when I check them, so... I avoid them. It's my peragotive to mostly stay out of the tags, though. I know that. I don't know Alba. For that fact, I don't know Chris. All I have to go off of is appearances. I do hope they're happy. They're just people. I also hope she's not still saying the awful, harmful things she has in the past--leaning to your side, and assuming that there are receipts. I hope she's listening and learning.

As far as posting her nudes to her Instagram--she's a grown woman. It's her body, her account, and the internet has always had places that are unsafe for children. She doesn't control who follows her, and she's famous. Many people follow her. I don't assume she wanted children to stumble across those photos. And if they did, that truly sucks. Children being unwantedly exposed to sexual content is not to be taken lightly. I can see how damaging that might be (God knows I've had a shit ton of experiences like that myself, from my younger years with even less protections on social media) even while holding the overarching opinion that bodies are bodies and nudity shouldn't be so sexualized as it is in our puritanical society. Although, yes, of course, nude photos intended to be sexually charged are much different to bodies being bodies.

While I'm very unsure that you will see this, let alone read it, I will conclude this post saying that this is as much as I want to post about this: I understand the underlying frustration you have, and I hear you. I do. I could--I can do much more to be a better ally as a white man to dismantling racist systems and holding racist people accountable. I am always trying, truly. However, for the purpose of this blog, I don't want to engage further.

Thank you.

[piescornerstore]

HELLO i noticed you are a spamblue shipper mm yes this the GOOD shit ok so. i mentioned in a reply that i used to ship this hardcore and i have a ton of old dusty headcanons for their relationship and history together and i wanna hear yours

Oh I'd love to share, thanks for asking!

This is gonna be an incomprehensive unorganized list so. I'm gonna put it under a read more

Also a lot of this stuff I'm kinda just pulling from a fic I'm still trucking through, so go check that out if you'd like, it's long though

anyways

(btw im using he/it for spamton and they/them for blue. another name for blue is cerulean but im just gonna use blue here)

Spamton and blue always Kinda Liked each other, but they'd always been pretty good friends ever since they met

Blue was always nicer to Spamton than the other Addisons; that's what made Spamton like them so much in the first place

The others always just sorta let him entertain them as some funny little inconsequential guy that they let hang around with them, but Blue really did genuinely enjoy Spamton's company

Blue wasn't exactly too much better than the others, though. They prided themselves on being the nice one when being nice isn't exactly the same as being kind. They do grow to be kinder throughout their relationship with Spamton, though

When Spamton does finally fall for them, he completely disregards any faults Blue has and focuses only on the fact that they're nicer to him than they have to be. It's the type that when anything positive happens in its life, even the slightest thing that makes its life feel less awful, it clings to that

After getting feelings for them though Spamton is just absolutely zonked. Like it's gone. The guy is an absolute pathetic loser girlfailure who follows Blue around like a lost puppy

It like. Wants to do something meaningful for them but 1: it absolutely doesn't have the courage to and 2: it doesn't even have the money to try

And Blue is SO generous to him even though he doesn't quite understand why. He wants to swallow his pride and let them spend all their money on him but he ALSO doesn't want to feel like he's taking advantage of their kindness which. he also really wants to do

One of the things Blue does for it is make cookies! Like website cookies. They're an amazing cook too and cookies bring a lot of Addison-specific nutrition so Spamton really can't say no

Blue doesn't even know exactly why they feel like improving their demeanor towards Spamton and they aren't quite exactly the person to look inwards but they do it anyway because that's waht they feel like doing!

Blue realizes their feelings much later on and while they can tell that Spamton isn't Normal about them either they just. Feel so nervous about making a move

When they do Finally date Blue makes every excuse to spoil Spamton with as much love and affection as they can. They feel bad about having gone along with all the teasing and mocking that the other Addisons did, even though they didn't actively participate in it. And Spamton is just happy it got this far

Spamton likes taking Blue out on fun little novelty dates, like bowling or vintage shopping! Blue likes more sophisticated dates, like museums or concerts

And of course. Once Spamton starts getting money he turns the tables on Blue and buys them everything they could possibly want or need and more

Once he's on his way to big shot status, Spamton feels like he has to really prove he loves Blue, not just to Blue, but to himself, so he makes sure to flaunt his accomplishments in front of them. Isn't that what a proper Addison does?

Blue of course is so, so proud of it. They were with Spamton every step of the way and they're glad to see all of its hard work finally pay off

So like they're both in a generally content place at this point. For now

Aaaanyway thanks for liking my stuff! As you can see I am still amidst the vicious throes of this ship so it's nice to find somebody that Understands

[oliviaischillin1204]

He Ollie! It's Cef. You might remember me. I just wanted to say hi and that I hope you are doing well. I still love that you are posting t-fics left and right! I miss you all very much! The reason I left the community was because I finally found some meds that work really well for me, except I almost completely lost my love of tickling. I can't really explain it because I have the same reaction as any other regular person now but I do miss everyone here. I just hope you all are doing well still.

-Cef

cef!!! of freaking COURSE i remember you, you're one of the OG sasi tfic blogs i ever followed!!! (right behind august and dani, right before spikey, pineapple, and felix dfhfdjsk) i actually just recently was thinking about your blog and your writing!

(confession time: i've mentioned before i had a private tfic account before starting this one, and on that tfic account i still have like, TONS of old posts/fics/art that i've reblogged from 3-7 years ago. some of it i can't access if it's behind a readmore and the op has deactivated, but if it's not behind a readmore, i can still read it so..... yeah i have a collection of extremely 2017-2019 sasi t-word posts that would maybe shock the OPs if they knew about it lol)

((and cef, i actually have an old masterpost of urs saved there, i think most of the links are unreachable now since you've deactivated, but it also has 2 links to freaking,,, google doc self insert teases from logan and roman that i just reread recently LMAOOOOOOOO. so yes, of course of COURSE i remember you and the impact u had on my writing and life :3))

and yeah, i still try to stay active around here, even when my tfic writing isn't coming as easy as it used it. it's crazy that u say that abt ur meds bc lowkey that kinda happened to me too... i started antidepressants for the first time last may (almost a year?? holy shit) and although i had been having writer's block for about 3 months prior to starting those meds, i can honestly say that yeah, the meds did change my brain chemicals a lot, to the point where tickling fell wayyyyyy to the backburner of my mind lol. coupled w how busy i've been for the past... solid year lmfao and this blog just hasn't been able to be a priority like it used to be

HOWEVER, not to get any hopes up or anything, but within the last month i have had a p extreme resurgence of thinking about t-word stuff often, rereading old favorites, going through the tags, etc. and i am graduating college (!!!) in less than a month so..... mayhaps. MAYHAPS. there may be more writing coming from me somewhat soon. WHO KNOWS SJDHFGHDJ

but i digress!!! cef, it was really good to hear from you and know you're doing well. when i saw your blog was deactivated, i was surprised but i understand why u did it, and i'm glad to know u remember all those years on here as fondly as i do :3

[araisbored]

What the eff did I just read?

2024 is the year. This is where I finally complete my Goodreads reading challenge. Just like last year I only put a very humble amount of books I will read. 6. 1 book in 2 months. That’s the time limit I am allowing myself with a book. It wasn’t supposed to be a challenge because I used to read one book a day. But with my impending and declining attention skill, it became one of the struggles I need to overcome. 

So to start my reading challenge, I picked the book who’s been on my to-read list for quite a while now. Almost all of the books in that pile were there for a very long period of time. So I don’t know what I’m trying to imply here. Anyways, I finally read one of the infamous booktok: My Year of Rest and Relaxation. So here is my POV 411 on this book.

I have a physical copy of this. And it is very famous on the Booktok as I mentioned. It has a pink accent on the book spine and a renaissance type of girl on the front cover. I don’t know if that was a real renaissance painting and if that girl has a name. But it was appealing. So I added it on my to-read and chose to buy a botched copy on Shopee. 

As for the contents… well, as far as I have read. It was something. My opinions on this book are very much different from what others have said. After I finished a book, and just before I put out my review. I always try to read what others have said about a book. You might think that was one of the characteristics of a people-pleaser… and yes maybe. But what I was just trying to do was get other people's perspective. My opinion and the outcome wouldn’t change, I just want to know what others have felt and what could've they done that made their opinions like that and that could've happened differently for my opinion to differ like that. 

For starters,I found My Year of Rest and Relaxation, a little bit mouthful for a title. Hahahaha. And I hate every single character in that book. I know that life is supposed to be like that, but I don’t get people who get their shit together after reading this book. I don’t see the purpose. I’m not seeing the hope that they’re seeing. I do understand depression, and how complex you can be when you are depressed. I am depressed too. And I know that you are the worst version of yourself when you are a depressed person. But what I don’t understand is… How?

It came to me like it has a writing style like a diary, an account of events of a depressed girl. I didn’t find anything groundbreaking about the writing or the writing style. It actually came off boring to me in the first half. Aside from super annoying characters, which are very intentional. (see?? I got the book.) There is nothing striking to me. I didn’t even find a line which resonates with me. Which is very odd. Because I am Miss Annotation. I didn’t underline a thing in that book. But again maybe I was being biased. Or because maybe I am just turning into a literary snob.  Or maybe I am looking for something different, something inspiring that would make me feel better. Which is probably the mistake I made when I read this book. I expect something. Because why on earth would I be thinking of that. This is not a self-help book. But then again, maybe it wasn’t my cup of tea anymore. Or on a brighter side, which I’m quite glad of, that I no longer relate to these kinds of books. 

As I ponder more about this book, I realized that I was once a super unbearable girl like the main character (MC). But then again, one of the issues I have with this book and in life in general is that I wasn’t as privileged as her. Her kind of ‘relaxation' only happens to girls who are loaded. Or who will inherit a fuck ton of money. That kind of ‘relaxation’ won’t happen to girls who work from 8-5. Like me. And that was imprinted on me since the very first page. Although, I find myself relating to her in some circumstances especially on her mental state. I just wonder if I was given that same privilege and access to a big apartment, would things be different for me? And instead of me trying to find peace and comfort from this. I didn’t. It bothered me. Or it just made me jealous of her.

More pondering happened as the days passed as I tried to find what the others saw in this book. Separating my personal feelings/vendetta. I realized that maybe this was their companion book. Like, finding comfort from someone who's experiencing the same thing as you – companionship.

And fortunately it wasn’t mine. It  made me realize that I shouldn’t be this mean to this book. Because, once again I was THE unbearable girl. 

Hmm, how do I even sum up everything I said. This post has been on my drafts for way too long now. So I’ll just leave the understanding part to you. Bottom-line is that it didn't get a high rating for me.

Image credit to: Medium 

[donnerpartyofone]

I received a direct message including only the word "hi" from the bot above, whose blog contains only the extremely relevant-to-my-interests post above, while I was loading up this whole screed about how incredibly stupid I am, featuring this large pile of blank paper that I just paid to have "printed", twice, because I couldn't possibly be bothered to actually look at or think about what I'm fucking doing at any given time.

And actually this shouldn't even have been a surprise because I'm a big dumb piece of shit in general but also because I've been fucking things up from the second I woke up this morning including triggering a catastrophic avalanche of boxes and furniture because I stacked things like a fucking idiot, right on top of the extremely idiotic place where I "stored" our Important Documents. Then I spent about an hour looking at the same movie and transit schedules over and over and over again like a fucking idiot and because I can't do addition or subtraction or even just reference my own experiences of going to familiar places and doing familiar things, and I'm actually not sure if I drew any conclusions, I just went ahead and bought some tickets anyway like a fucking idiot, one of which cost about the amount of money that I just spent on printing two different versions of the same document that was largely full of blank pages, which I rode my bike to go do without even thinking for one second about taking a lock with me, and also when I paid the first time I didn't notice that they hadn't given me the second document I asked for, at which time I realized I never told them I needed it in color, so now I actually have 2/3 documents that are completely useless and a waste of money, of which I have none coming in because I've been looking for a new job for 15 years and almost nobody has ever even emailed me back and you can guess why (actually one person agreed to interview me, and I fucked up disastrously right away, and then she spent the whole interview telling me what a fucking idiot I am, and even if that wasn't a very nice or even rational thing to do, she is right).

My therapist called in sick today and I'm sort of glad because I didn't want to talk to her, but now I get to spend an extra week stressing out over how to deal with her the next time she tries to address my complex of problems by making excuses for me and trying to make me stop saying things like "there's something wrong with me" because according to her I'm fine and great and awesome even, it's the rest of the world that's fucked up! Like that's rilly cool and all but I do not understand how deciding that yes means no and up is down and black is white, and talking like bad things are good and acts of destruction and waste are not important and I'm never responsible for my mistakes, is supposed to make anything easier for me. That's just language control, which is something that cults and bad employers do, it has no material benefit besides making sure other people don't have to hear anything they don't like. But fine, let's try it. Like oh, OK, I did something really rad today by knocking over half of everything in the house because I put something important in a super smart place nested underneath and inside of a bunch of unwieldy and fragile bullshit. Then I wasted a ton of money I don't have on things I don't need because I didn't look what I was doing and I didn't tell anyone how to help me. That was so right of me, I will never say anything is wrong again, because it isn't, wrongness doesn't exist because I'm awesome and I love myself and the fact that I'm constantly mired in problems that I myself create somehow has nothing to do with me or my thoughts and behaviors.

I guess all my problems are solved now because I learned to abandon my values and rational thought and stop accurately describing events in my life, and now I just replace every negative descriptor of my actions and reactions with positive ones, and somehow that translates into having completely inappropriate and counterintuitive feelings about myself and my life, which further somehow translates into not being depressed or stressed out anymore despite being constantly bombarded by stressors incurred by me personally, every single day, by being a fucking idiot. Oh sorry, I meant a fucking cool nice pretty talented genius who everybody loves including me. Yay, now I don't need therapy anymore. This is exactly what I will explain to my therapist when I inevitably fire her.

[peregrineggsandham]

Been playing Dark Souls I for the first time, blind. It's my first-ever Soulsborne game but after really enjoying other games that have been compared to Dark Souls for a variety of reasons (encouraging exploration, interconnected world, lore/plot that is drip-fed through sparse dialogue and item descriptions, combat that is challenging but fundamentally fair, environmental storytelling, themes of light/dark not necessarily corresponding one-to-one with good/evil, "dark fantasy" setting in general, secrets upon secrets upon secrets) I decided to give it a shot.

Have been completely blind so please no spoilers, even though this game is now 12 years old. All I know about the lore is... uh... Aviators music. Really enjoying having context for songs I've loved for years. Fading Light really hits now, it's awesome.

Thoughts below.

[Edit: an absolute shit-ton of thoughts below, sorry y'all, it just kept going.]

...I am loving this game, y'all. I understand why it's a classic and damn, I think I'm gonna end up playing through the whole series. Eventually. Too bad Bloodborne doesn't have a PC port, because I hear it has a more explicitly Lovecraftian vibe and I am here for that aesthetic.

...Will say that this is entirely blind save for one googling which amounted to "hey I consistently suck at bosses that require me to split my focus because I have a hard time tracking moving things on a screen, but... Ornstein and Smough are a pain in the ass for everyone, right? right? they are exactly the kind of boss I tend to be very bad at but it isn't just me right??"

(very glad to see the answer was yes, finally gave in and summoned another player for help. Thank you Percy, whoever you are. I think I could beat them solo, I was getting either of them in their giant forms to about half-health pretty consistently, but by then it had been far, far too many hours and I have real-world things to do, I really couldn't spare the time to keep trying. for now. maybe later.)

(felt kinda bad about it for a bit but then with the Lordvessel in hand holy fuck I have fast travel now and it feels amazing I went into the magma-y depths and took care of the... whats-his-name, the guy who acted just like the Stray Demon. Having beat the Stray Demon, it only took a couple tries, and then I one-shot the one after it, whom I think was called the Centipede Demon but whom I have dubbed Crawly.)

Currently throwing myself at the Bed of Chaos, who feels more "environmental hazard" than "boss" but after the rest of the... gauntlet?... kind of a nice break.

(Admittedly I realized late that it was a gauntlet - I beat Ceaseless Discharge right after Quelaag and then learned there was nowhere to go afterwards, whoops.)

Lore Musings:

(Look I know I'm probably super off - this game is very old and has sequels and I'm sure people have spent literal months of their lives piecing it all together, and believe you me I will be watching lore videos... after I have finished the game. By which I here mean "gotten all achievements". Which, google tells me [I like to check these things] will take three playthroughs. So it'll be a while, and it's fun to piece things together on my own! Feel free to hint cheekily at things that are right and wrong here but please don't spoil.)

I've been told I am to succeed Lord Gwyn and take his place to "link the first flame" and prolong the Age of Fire. Mm. Right. So. That seems lovely. Really, honestly, lovely - the world is beautiful. Worth keeping it going, I think.

(I had an initial theory that, having kinda passed its natural endpoint, the whole world was basically "undead" - lumbering on after it was supposed to have ended. So that prolonging it would effectively curse everyone to eventually go Hollow. But it sounds like "linking"/succeeding Gwyn would actually return things to how they were a millennia ago and solve this whole undead problem.)

......However. Two issues there.

First Issue: One of my favorite games of all time is Hollow Knight, which I've heard is rather DS-inspired. I definitely see how. Not just the metroidvania design and emphasis on challenging bosses and drip-fed lore, but themes. Light and dark. A sacrifice to keep something at bay, who is failing in their duty, who needs to be replaced. Now, I'm not going to rely on a completely different game to inform my understanding of this one's lore, but...

... But... well, this isn't a permanent solution, is it? Something like a thousand years ago, as I understand it so far, shit went down. People started becoming undead, Gwyn went off to Do Something About It. (Also the Witch of Izalith fell to Chaos around that time? Will get there.) Havel went Hollow and was locked in his tower, presumably by Gwyn (which was my original clue that Gwyn/the Lords were still alive after their whole Lords vs. Dragons showdown, since it meant Gwyn had to still have been around when the zombie problem began - love this piecemeal lore).

Gwyn "linked the flame" (the First Flame? what did he link it to? current bet is the Shrine, since that is what it is named - maybe that has something to do with why its Firekeeper, of all of them, seems to have some terrible penance she is performing). Now it's my turn? But Gwyn was a Lord (whatever that means? current guess is Lord=God but we've heard of more gods than just the four, so honestly I'm gonna base my Lord=God assumption entirely on what happens when I collect a Lord's soul and whether they look like the other unique souls in my inventory, since that would imply they're a similar kind of soul).

I am not a Lord. I'm just some dude. a flawed vessel, if you will.

Meaning that eventually - and probably less than 1000 years from now, someone is going to have to succeed me. (Was Gwyn even the first?)

How far will this go? How long can this last?

We're prolonging the inevitable.

(Also what does "linking the fire" entail and is this a Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas situation.)

Now, you could easily frame "prolonging the inevitable" as either a good or bad thing.

(1) Theme of persistence and hope: Even if the end is inevitable, isn't it worth fighting to drive it back as long as possible? Just because everything ends doesn't mean we shouldn't give up and wait for it to happen. We must fight to keep the fire lit, as long as we can.

(2) Theme of acceptance and change: Yes, everything ends and the end is inevitable - fighting that will only lead to despair. Ends are not bad, change is not bad, and letting change occur is not giving up - it is only witnessing the start of a new age. Even if we can bring it back to its former glory in some day, is the world not, by this point, undead?

Is that a bad thing to be?

Even if it isn't, is there new life that we are preventing from existing?

Now of course you can argue that there is not new life! What is to come is darkness! It is devouring, consumption, end, ash, blindness! (Funny, though, isn't it how all of those things can come also from wildfires.) Dark is bad. Obviously. Of course we don't want the end to come, when all it will bring is despair.

But then, that's the Second Issue:

"Falling to dark", the end of the age of fire, it's all presented as quite horrible. Fair enough! It does, indeed, seem to be! Certainly darkness is a corrupting force - Gwyn's soul (?) split into four, Four Kings, falling to dark - don't know what that's about yet, I imagine I have to find some way to drain New Londo to find out.

Point is, darkness is bad! Very bad! Everyone is quite insistent upon this! Dark=bad. Falling to it = bad.

....

........Except I'm in Lost Izalith right now and it's. uh.

not gonna lie, it's pretty bad here.

and it's very, very bright.

Here, in this lava-lit city, where Solaire himself found a "sun" so blindingly beautiful he lost himself to it. Here, where the witches who had mastered fire - mastered light - fell just as hard.

Light, it seems, is just as corrupting a force.

"Chaos" is more confusing - I think it's effectively the primordial base from which light and dark arise, aka "Disparity", will have to watch the opening cutscene for a third time. But that doesn't seem quite right since seems to be more light-aligned, what with the chaos fire pyromancies and seeing how the witch and her daughters were corrupted by chaos. not dark. they did not fall to dark.

Again, haven't figured out what's going on with the Kings yet, but...

...I am not convinced that dark is evil.

And I'm not convinced that clinging to light is the right thing to do.

Fantasy likes to paint darkness as stagnation and death, light as life and change.

But as I understand it, both light and dark arose from Disparity, which had something to do with the First Flame. They were created at the same time. There is no such thing as light without a corresponding concept of darkness. They are equals.

Stagnation, emptiness, those aren't characteristics of darkness, they're characteristics of the ancient world, the one the dragons ruled/existed in. Dragons which might (?) have been made of stone, the #1 metaphor for something firm and unchanging and eternal (geologists everywhere just rolled their eyes). Eternity, immortality, that predates light and dark.

The concept of decay and death requires a concept of life, of change. A world of dark is not a world without change. Things still died in the Age of Fire; it is not eternal. (that's rather the whole "problem", actually). Hell, Nito is apparently "first of the dead" and he was born of flame like the other Lords as per opening cinematic. Things will, presumably, still live in some future Age of Darkness.

...the entire point of disparity, of fire, was the introduction of the possibility of change.

........so it kind of feels that the perpetuation of this world, a world of Fire Unchanging, would be just... a shallow and ill-fitting recreation of How It Used To Be during the age before disparity came to be.

Like. Look. Uninformed blind-playthrough timeline here: There was Stagnation, all stone and dragons. Then, Disparity was born, Change, and with it Light and Dark. The Souls of Lords were found, and used Light to fight against Stagnation. (I feel like Dark would have worked just as well.) They built a world of Light.

Now everyone is upset that Change is happening? My dudes you built this place out of one half of Change incarnate. It does that! It's almost as if you didn't really want Change, you just wanted a new world of Stagnation in which you ruled as gods.

A new eternal kingdom, made of fire instead of stone.

But fire isn't stone. Fires go out, eventually. And are rekindled.

....Funny, it's almost like a classic dark-light-dark-light cycle. The story is so close to "there was dark, then light, now dark is coming again and everyone fond of light is trying to stop it".

But it's not.

Because there hasn't been dark - at least, not a full-on Age of it. I think. I dunno, there are two more games and I haven't finished this one yet but...

...I suspect that that kind of cycle is exactly what would happen if this age ended! Dark is born of disparity, too! It'd end eventually, and a new Age of Fire would be born, and so on, ad infinitum, until even change itself changes and the cycle is broken, because an infinite cycle is really just its own kind of stagnation and one day someone will have to make that choice.

But that's not this story. This cycle hasn't even started, because fire is clung to so tightly.

Maybe that's not a bad thing. Again, infinite cycles, not great, but... more natural, certainly. And if dark is destruction without rebirth, decay without fertilization of new soil, despair and suffering without relief, then, well, I can't say I disagree.

...............but is it though? all I have been told of it comes from its kings and those who followed them. maybe they are corrupt and unwilling to give up their power. or maybe, more likely, they are only afraid of the dark.

....We are afraid of the dark when we do not know what lurks in it. Souls of Lords, found in the flame - they're children of light, then? What do I know so far, that is born from the dark? Anything?

........yeah I have no idea if I am reading really really really too far into this but from what I know of games that take inspiration from this and from what osmosis of its Themes has entered pop culture I really don't think I am. (and hell, even if I am, it's super fun)

I don't know if I'm going to have the choice to succeed Gwyn or not but I have a sneaking suspicion that the answer is yes given that the achievements list gives two endings named "To Link the Fire" and "The Dark Lord" (the latter of which... uh... vaguely ominous)

also side note what the fuck is humanity

and also talking about Lords why has no one mentioned the furtive pygmy since the opening cutscene. "so easily forgotten indeed"

Four souls for the Lordvessel: Nito, the Witch, Gwyn in four pieces via the Kings…. and Seath? The dragon? Not the pygmy. What happened to the pygmy.

[rewatched cutscene] "then from the Dark, they came" are those humans. those look like humans.

something is very weird here.

WAIT FUCK corollary to 49

"Then from the Dark, they came" humans. found lords in the flame. are humans are born of dark like lords are of light?

.....well what the fuck does that mean?

if lords=gods, are humans "dark" things that have been ruled by light for millennia? i mean, that's not so bad, light is lovely, big fan of fire, I am a bona fide swamp-dwelling pyromancer fire is my jam 10/10 would solve all my problems with arson wait are we the fucking "dark souls"

I mean we exist during this Age of Fire, but we're also turning undead. A problem the gods don't (?) seem to be having.

…We are afraid of the dark when we do not know what lurks in it.

What if we are what lurks in it?

...........alright now I'm reading too much into this. But I LOVE this kind of lore where things all just feel… kind of off? As if there is some big picture you can't -quite- see.

I am under no illusion these questions'll be answered perfectly in-game, and I'm well aware there are 12 years of figuring all this out for me to catch up on! But damn if it isn't fun to specul-

THE HUMANITY ITEM. IS A FUCKING. BOSS SOUL ITEM. IN INVERTED COLORS.

.........

Gripes:

...not many. But the one thing. My nemesis. In this game. Is the god-damned keyboard menu controls. Look, I get that this was made for controller! I do! But I do not own one! Navigating the weapon/item selection is one thing, I'm [checks steam] 84.7 hours in [...oh god, really?? holy fuck. dear lord.] and have finally gotten a handle on that!

But the button to unequip an item in the equipment screen is the same as the button to switch to inspection in the... item screen. whatever you call it. and I suspect this would actually be the same for controller.

How many times have I unequipped something when I meant to look at it? many. 84.7 hour in, how often do I do this still? usually.

...also I only found that bonfire in Sen's Fortress via combination of friendly player message and sheer dumb luck holy crap that would have been a nightmare y'all didn't need to make them that hidden.

......also it'd be very nice if NPCs had some sort of indicator of their name, or mentioned it more than once. I remember Solaire (...RIP, poor dude found his new sun, I carry his talisman in solidarity) and Quelana (because it's so close to Quelaag) and Eingyi (he's mentioned in an item description and the whole... egg... thing haunted me for ages before I met him) and Sif (because why would you make me kill a good pup, guard dog wolf with sword, best friend, she [? female name in Norse myth, not sure if character is also female] was protecting her master's damned grave she did not deserve this) and for some reason Laurentius (dunno why that one stuck) but everyone else gets monikers. Onionman. Bird Friend. Sad Friend. Blacksmith. Bigger Blacksmith. Deader Blacksmith. Sadder Blacksmith. Cheshire Cat Lady.

(Frampt is remembered now because Gwynevere says his name but in my heart he is still Mr. Teeth.)

..........yeah that's all I got, honestly, I have loved everything else about this game.

WAIT NO

ONE MORE THING THAT I REALLY HATE

so there are all these player messages before female characters with no tops reading "great chest ahead"

ha ha very amusing yes chuckle chuckle

BUT

you know who has a very well-defined chest on full display right there in your face and for whom I have never seen a single "great chest ahead" message?

SMOUGH.

i realize that he is wearing armor but i have no reason to believe it isn't form-fitting and true-to-life. dude may as well be topless. there is no smough boobs appreciation and i will not stand for it.

To conclude, I present two pieces of evidence:

"Since his sores were inflamed by lava from birth, his witch sisters gave him this special ring." - Orange Charred Ring item description

"...the Witch of Izalith and her Daughters of Chaos..." - opening cinematic

Diversity win! Ceaseless Discharge is trans.