#why would you reblog something someone in a fandom made just to express that you hate said fandom

[wastemanjohn]

🤪.🤪

[fairy-writes]

Hello!! I really like u and think ur really cool! Can I request an rivals to lovers with hoshina? Like you've been rivals ever since high school and noticed that you both become a part of the defense force at the same time and the rivalry grew stronger and then like you've heard the other officers talking bad things about him and then instantly defended him since you acknowledge him as someone who is strong and wouldn't let anyone bad mouth about him despite being rivals and then he heard it

once again i really really really love u and have this friend crush on u <33

ONE-SIDED CONFLICT

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

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Fandom(s): Kaiju No. 8

Pairing(s): Hoshina Soshiro x Reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Female!Reader, Rivals

Notes: Not my best work, but I don’t really know how to write Rivals to Lovers rip

I really hope you enjoy it, at least a little bit! Thanks for reading! <3

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Your rivalry with Hoshina Soshiro was more of a one-sided conflict. Well… that wasn’t explicitly true. He just got under your skin a lot more than you got under his. He always watched you with that shit-eating grin on his face, like he was watching something amusing. 

And that aggravated you. 

But… Nothing aggravated you more than people smack-talking him. 

“Can you believe it?” 

“I can’t!”

“Why would they bother letting someone with blades be a Vice-Captain?”

“I’ll bet you 1000 yen that he bribed his way to that position.”

You clench your hand around your coffee mug until it nearly cracks as you hear your fellow members of the Third Division talking about the newest Vice-Captain.

Hoshina Soshiro.

The very name gets your blood boiling and your heart racing. You were both blade users in the Defense Force. Perhaps some of the only ones. You were the only ones to primarily use blades. Sure, you could use guns and heavy artillery if the situation called for it. But there was something about slicing through kaiju flesh that gave you a certain thrill. 

It also didn’t help that you and Hoshina had some sort of ‘rivalry’ going on. It wasn’t outright declared, but seeing as you two came from different clans that specialized in kaiju slaying, the odds were pitted against you from the start. 

It was always, “Look at what Hoshina Soshiro accomplished!” and never, “Good job at rising through the ranks!” So perhaps that contributed to your upbringing and the need to take him down. But even so, you could acknowledge his skill and prowess with the katana and even more so with slaying kaiju. 

Which is why it made you so angry to see other people try to tear him down. 

Your coffee mug actually cracked when you flexed your fingers and started leaking said coffee all over the table. But you paid it no mind.

“Don’t you have better things to do?” You snap at your teammates, and they look at you dumbly. Almost like they can’t believe someone is standing up for Vice-Captain Hoshina. 

He was just that, your Vice-Captain. 

They should respect him. 

“I’m sorry?” One of your teammates asks incredulously, and you roll your eyes.

“He obviously earned that position. So you should respect that. He wouldn’t be our Vice-Captain if he wasn’t qualified!” 

“Perfectly said, Platoon Leader.” You flinch, duck your head out of reflex, and turn to see the man you had been talking about. 

Hoshina Soshiro is watching you with that same shit-eating grin he always has on his face. He studies you with a calm expression. As if he didn’t care about what others were saying. And maybe he didn’t. But you certainly did. 

Everyone turns back to their meals with quiet grumbles, but no one says what they had been saying to his face. He jerks his head to the side for you to follow him. So, you begrudgingly get up and follow after, leaving your cracked coffee mug and spill behind. 

You follow your new Vice-Captain down the hall until you reach his new office. He leaves the door cracked open to give you an escape. That was the peculiar thing about him. He always gave you an escape from whatever you were doing. Whether that was sparring with him or studying together, he always gave you an out. 

Hoshina claimed it was to preserve your dignity when he whooped your ass in whatever competition you competed in. But, more often than not, you didn’t need an out. 

Because most competitions ended in draws between the two of you. 

“Vice-Captain?” You ask, mildly confused when he comes to a stop before the large windows behind his desk that overlook the Third Division base. Captain Ashiro’s is a floor above his, but his office is still impressive in its own right. 

“Y’know, fightin’ with your fellow teammates isn’t the best idea.” He said, and you huffed,

“It was hardly a fight.” You grumble, and he turns, his eyebrow arched and a look on his face that screams, “Really?”.

“We both know that infamous temper of yours would’ve gotten you into more trouble than was worth.” He borderline teased, and you can feel your ears burn with embarrassment. 

He knew you well. That was one of the downsides of being rivals with him since high school. He knew all your tricks and tics just like you knew his. 

“If I may, Vice-Captain—”

“Soshiro.” He cuts you off, and you stare stupidly, almost not comprehending the words that just came out of his mouth. But you gather yourself and push on, 

“Fine, Soshiro. If I may, they shouldn’t be talking about you like that, regardless of how you feel. You’re pretty incredible with a blade, and they should respect that.” 

Hoshina—no, Soshiro—stares at you almost as stupidly as you felt, eyes cracked open slightly in shock. 

Then he begins to laugh. 

And laugh. 

And laugh. 

“I think that’s the nicest you’ve ever been to me!” He wheezes, wiping a tear from his eye as he composes himself and leans his hands on his desk. Your ears and face burn, and you very nearly accept defeat and make your escape when he approaches you from around his desk. 

He stops just before you, staring you in the eye with that same stupid grin on his face. 

“How about we meet outside work, and you can tell me how incredible I am?” He teases, and you just nod idiotically. Captain Ashiro knocks on his office door and enters, saying something about the reports she needed for the latest meeting. You are then dismissed. 

You stop outside his office and lean on the wall, cupping your burning cheeks. 

Did you just agree to a date?

[shall-we-die]

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{Outrage}

How and why would they get mad at you?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Jujutsu Kaisen}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0064}┈─╮

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��┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Itadori|

He’s very possessive (secretly), and he gets really jealous whenever his s/o is being approached by someone else. Especially a man - Itadori doesn’t take that too well. But he tries desperately to remain calm and keep himself from acting out of character. He just gives them the cold shoulder, which is pretty scary coming from someone who is always smiling. He’s a worry wart, and he tends to get really mad if his significant other puts themselves in danger or takes unnecessary risks.

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↬|Inumaki|

Toge is one who is quite difficult to get mad. He is a calm person. So the s/o would have to really say or do something bad to make him mad. When Toge gets mad, he'll probably just be silent and show a sullen face. I think he'd even start ignoring the s/o for awhile to make sure he wouldn't accidentally let out his CT and hurt them.

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↬|Megumi|

He would get mad at his s/o if they betrayed his trust, lied to him, or disrespected his beliefs or values. He would also get mad if they displayed behavior that he considered immature or irresponsible. Additionally, he may get mad if his s/o acted out of jealousy or possessiveness towards him. His patience is limited, but he would try to communicate his feelings through calm conversations rather than shouting or becoming aggressive.

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↬|Nanami|

Nanami is usually a calm person, but his anger could be triggered by his s/o being unreasonable, too loud, or constantly making noise. Nanami values his alone time, so if his s/o constantly disturbs his workflow, he might get irritated and scold them. He could get upset if his s/o consistently fails to follow through with their promises or commitments, especially if it affects his plans and schedule. Nanami also prioritizes honesty, so if his s/o constantly lies to him, he would get mad for disrespecting trust.

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↬|Sukuna|

He'd definitely get mad if his s/o tried to leave him. He's possessive to a terrifying degree, and will do anything to get her back. On the milder side, he'd get annoyed if they constantly interrupted him or tried to tell him what to do. If they don't act the way he wants them to, he'll get angry, as well. He wants them to act like a proper concubine and treat him like a god.

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↬|Geto|

Well, there are two scenarios for this: 1. If his s/o did something foolish and put themselves in danger, he would get mad, and he would probably start scolding them, but his scolding would be different. He would talk with a calm attitude and express his worry in a gentle manner. 2. If s/o made him jealous by spending too much time with someone. He would get mad and he may show a bit of his manipulative side.

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↬|Gojo|

Gojo Satoru typically doesn't get mad easily, but if his s/o did something careless or put themselves in unnecessary danger, he could get mad out of concern for their safety. He's fiercely protective of those he cares about and doesn't like seeing them hurt or in danger, especially if it could have been avoided. He may express his frustration through a firm scolding or lecture, but he would never intentionally hurt or belittle his partner in anger. Gojo values open communication and would work to resolve any disagreements through respectful dialogue.

||[🄾utrage]||

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[antianakin]

hey, just wanted to say that i appreciate you creating this space to discuss more uh....unpopular takes on star wars. obviously fandom is a hobby and i don't want to ruin anyone's fun! but i also want a space to push back against fanon interpretations without treading on anyone's toes, you know?

like the whole obi-wan catholic guilt trope, jedi repression trope at large...i'm being dramatic but as an asian person, sometimes it sucks that this is such a prevalent idea about a heroic group that was influenced by buddhism and is very asian-coded. i'm not wording this well but just like how stories about european knights often reflect *the very best* of western values like chivalry, honor, gentility, i could really see a lot of the best of asian culture (a huge over-simplification) in the jedi.

but all that being reduced to "oh actually it's totally catholic guilt" or a inadvertently a regurgitation of prevalent asian stereotypes (the jedi as a group suppress individuality, they don't express emotions, they are too harsh, too unforgiving, lack compassion) is...frustrating to see, even though it's everyone's right to interpret & relate to things as they see fit.

especially when focused on obi-wan! even if we assume that obi-wan is repressed, secretly attached to an unhealthy degree but hiding it, or whatnot - the man quite literally airs the dirty laundry in front of mace and yoda, perhaps the "highest" members of the jedi. he says that he thinks anakin is arrogant, isn't listening to him. i dunno but a repressed person who hates confrontation and vulnerability probably wouldn't do that. he should've gone "haha nope anakin and i are totally fine masters, totally fine" instead of looking for advice & airing out his frustrations.

people getting angry at obi-wan for putting the jedi order over anakin is still annoying, but at least accurate. like yes! obi-wan does put the good of his culture and the galaxy at large over his old padawan! good for him!

but honestly all popular fanon obi-wan tropes go round on a roulette wheel waiting for me to pick one to be petty about lmao.

I definitely get what you mean about wanting a space to push back on common fanon interpretations without stepping on anyone's toes. That's obviously exactly why I made this blog in the first place. It's why I named the blog "antianakin" at all, it's supposed to be a giant neon warning sign to people that I'm not going to feel ashamed of some of my more negative opinions. It's why I use anti and critical tags as much as possible, and don't use the more general tags most of the time (aside from just... "star wars"). This is my space to put my feelings out there, positive AND negative, and I work really hard to make sure I'm not invading spaces that are meant for being positive.

I also often don't reblog people's posts that I completely disagree with JUST to talk about why I don't like their take. I won't invade someone's Jedi critical post in order to tell them that they're wrong about Star Wars. People have tried to tag me into posts like that, but I'm not interested in doing that kind of thing. If I DO want to say something about what I've seen, I make my own post about the issue.

It's interesting that you mention that stories about European knights often reflect what's viewed as the best of Western values, because so often when I see people talk about what would make the Jedi BETTER (or Legends versions of the Jedi that they think were done better), it's usually pretty clear that the Jedi are being turned INTO your more typical European knight to reflect those exact values. They're often wandering on their own, doing what they personally believe to be right whenever and wherever they want, defending the helpless wherever they find them by just riding in on a white horse and slaying an enemy or a monster. And of course some of those values they uphold are about what love and relationships should look like, too, so they all end up in committed monogamous relationships (even if it's with more than one person, it's still usually monogamous). This is one of the reasons I started getting frustrated with the High Republic novels by the third one because it started having that vibe that the "good" Jedi who stuck to more "traditional" ways of doing things and "traditional" values were so much more like your typical European knight, while the Jedi character doing something more modern and more political was losing his way and struggling with a desire for things he was repressing.

It's a feeling we've seen come up time and time again and it keeps getting tossed out in more recent shows, too, the idea that the Jedi "lost their way" from what they should've been, that they once used to represent something worthwhile and losing those traditional values is what caused their destruction and the only way to keep it from happening again is to go back to that. It's not hard to see where that storyline feels compelling, obviously, but it IS sad to see the values that the Jedi DO have in the Prequels in particular getting tossed aside as unworthy and to see their defeat being rewritten as THEIR failure instead of everyone else's.

I've had people tell me that this story feels like it has more nuance to it than the Jedi simply being the heroic victims and the Sith being pure villains. And I get why people think that, I just think that there's a lot of nuance they're MISSING in the story being told, and that that nuance exists EVEN WITH the Jedi still being the heroic victims and the Sith being clear villains. I am more than happy to help critique some of the WAYS that that story got told in the Prequels, the issues in the structure of the Prequels and how it maybe muddied some of the messages that the story was trying to get across, but I also think that that critique is SEPARATE from my feelings on the intended narrative itself. I don't think that the narrative itself is bad or lacking in nuance simply because it may not have been told perfectly. And, personally, I think that some of the more "nuanced" Jedi critical takes often seem INCREDIBLY simplistic themselves.

As for Obi-Wan, fandom will do what fandom does to its darlings. I've certainly done my fair share of simplifying my faves down to shadows of themselves because I happened to enjoy the shadow sometimes in its own right. But I do think that there's plenty of evidence to contradict a lot of people's more popular interpretation of Obi-Wan as a repressed, damaged, traumatized waif. I don't mind a LITTLE of that sometimes, usually when I read fics set in the early years of his apprenticeship with Qui-Gon following some of the events of Jedi Apprentice, but it comes with the context that Obi-Wan is still VERY YOUNG at the time and is dealing with some fairly specific things that have just happened to him and is still learning how to do that in a healthy way.

By the time you hit The Phantom Menace and ESPECIALLY the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan should no longer be a repressed, traumatized waif of a person. That's when it stops being believable to me because the character we see on screen in that time period never fits that description. Like you said, he's ACTIVELY confrontational to his superiors. He does do it with Mace and Yoda (and he does it in ROTS as well as in AOTC) and he does it with Qui-Gon during his apprenticeship, too.

The one other time I was willing to accept some of this characterization was in the Kenobi show where we do see him being more repressed and traumatized and less willing to stand up for himself when faced with confrontation with people like Owen. But one of the reasons this worked for me is because, much like with those JA fics, it comes with a VERY SPECIFIC CONTEXT, and it's done with the intentional purpose of giving Obi-Wan somewhere to develop. He also doesn't stay particularly submissive or waif-like for long, we see him gain back a LOT of his willingness to stand up for himself and confront people by the second episode. The message wasn't that Obi-Wan had ALWAYS been damaged and traumatized or that he was always "meant" for sadness or whatever, but that he had the capacity to find happiness IF HE CHOOSES TO ACT LIKE THE JEDI HE ONE WAS. The only reason he's struggling is because he ISN'T acting like a Jedi anymore. He's not finally figuring out how to handle his traumas, he's GOING BACK to being the person who can handle his traumas.

Anyway, yeah, I feel you, I have definitely experienced the roulette wheel of petty frustration at fandom interpretations of Obi-Wan lol. I can barely handle the "he drops his lightsaber all the time" joke because I feel like it often makes him come across as childishly incompetent.

[rainbowsky]

Regarding CPN discussions, questions and comments

Several times over the past few days I've had to remind people about a boundary I have around discussions of CPN, so I feel it might be a good time to remind everyone of this so that everyone is on the same page.

I'm always preaching that CPN is for turtle's eyes only. It isn't meant for wider consumption by solos or passersby. This is for the protection of turtles and of GG and DD. When CPN crosses over into other areas, it pretty much always leads to fan wars and anti activity.

One of the measures that I feel passionately about in connection with this is the notion that

CPN should never be discussed in posts that are tagged with GG and DD's individual names.

There are a couple of really good reasons for this:

It's part of staying in our own lane. Solos follow the tags for GG and DD's individual names, and if CPN is discussed in those posts, solos can stumble across it and create problems. I have faced a lot of harassment in the past - including the recent past - from solos because of this very thing, and it's not fun. Fan wars are never good, but especially not when I become a target for hate through no fault of my own. If you talk about CPN in the comments of my posts, I am going to be the one attacked for it, not you.

Posts tagged with their individual names are for celebrating their individual works and achievements. There's plenty of space for clowning elsewhere.

All that I ask is that before you comment to discuss CPN in the notes of one of my posts, please double check that it is not tagged with 'xiao zhan' or 'wang yibo'. If it is, submit your comment or question to me as an ask, contact me privately about it, or find a post on my blog on a related subject that is tagged with 'bjyx' or 'yizhan' and comment there.

You can also feel free to make a post about it in the Yizhan Tumblr community.

Please also feel free to do whatever you want, take whatever risks you want, and embody your own values around this topic on your own blog, including reblogging my individual posts with whatever commentary you want. Feel free to use whatever tags you want and to discuss whatever you want in a reblog. Just please don't comment with CPN in posts on my blog that are tagged with their individual names.

A note on reactions

Some people really take it personally and get bent out of shape when I make this kind of request. This is by no means a rare reaction. The majority of turtles who I mention this to in response to CPN comments in the notes of these posts respond in a negative way. Some even unfollow or block me for it.

I don't understand why anyone would be offended by a boundary I set for my own well-being online, or why anyone would take personally a decision that I have made for my own well-being.

I have had a lot of harassment and hate thrown at me over the years, and due to a lifetime of being singled out, I am especially sensitive to bullying. It's just not something I want in my life, and I will seek to avoid and prevent it at all costs. Please respect my needs in this regard.

As importantly, we really do need to stay in our own lane to try to maintain some measure of harmony between fandoms, and to avoid fan wars.

This is not a new boundary - I've been stating it for years. @accio-victuuri has been saying this for years as well. It is by no means unusual for this request to be made by turtles. It is a best practice for avoiding fan wars.

So please try to be understanding about this. I would never make a request of someone if I didn't have a good reason.

I don't state these things to make you feel bad in any way. Nor do I hold it against you if you make a mistake. I'll just remove that comment and explain to you why I've done so. Don't take it personally. I appreciate people's engagement with my posts, and do not want to make anyone feel alienated. I do my best to express myself in a kind and understanding way.

I hope you will extend me the same courtesy.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular

It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.

Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.

I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 

No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.

I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.

Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.

The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 

I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 

Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!

The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.

The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.

I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.

I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 

Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!

Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?

None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]

By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.

The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷

My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.

Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 

It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.

Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.

The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:

PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...

The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 

The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.

Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.

The full context of my words: 

Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you

PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.

The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 

The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 

You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.

The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 

If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.

Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 

A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash

I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.

Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)

I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.

As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.

I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.

The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working

I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 

At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.

Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.

As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.

I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.

Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.

That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.

Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:

Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest

April - I get stuck, stop working on it

April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework

June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest

In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option

In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it

June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working

PKD releases the pecs

I share vanilla for testing

I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June

I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.

I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.

PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.

[is-the-fire-real]

‘Documenting my Jewish conversion’ your opinion on the last year means nothing, then. Absolutely nothing. You will never know the fear that real Jews have been facing since October 7th 2023, and you will never understand the risks that come from looking and acting like a Jew. You people shouldn’t even be allowed to call yourselves Zionists, because you have no ties to the holy land at all.

I bet you think Kahanism is ‘too much’, too.

Wow, Anon, this would really hurt my feelings if I believed for one second you were actually Jewish.

I could leave it at this and move on, but you know what? I'm feeling chatty and it's been a long time since I've made a big post on here, so let's sort out, piece by piece, why I know you're cosplaying.

For starters: if you were really Jewish, you wouldn't be anonymous. Jews who believe gerim aren't "real Jews" post their opinions on their blogs under their names. They are very few and far between, but they aren't shy. I believe that you have chosen to send this anonymously because you ARE shy... because your login info will demonstrate that you are an antisemitic goy who's trying to pick at what you assume is a sore spot.

Second, if you were really Jewish and you'd paid attention to what I've said about "the last year" (and then using the Gregorian calendar date, which is just funny to me), you would know that I haven't actually expressed an opinion on Zionism. I have reblogged material from other Jews expressing their opinions. Those Jews have ranged from Zionists to non-Zionists to post-Zionists to "refuse all terminology"-ists. I have chosen, deliberately, to do what we used to call signal boosting.

When I have expressed an opinion, it has been on the behavior of antisemites on Tumblr who pretend to be something they're not--usually, pro-Palestinian, but in your case, Jewish. I have been wondering what the "pro-Pal" fandom would do now that it's started to collapse from the fans getting bored, and you've demonstrated one possible tactic--so thanks for that!

Third, if you were really Jewish, you would have something to say about being Jewish that isn't what you said. I've read and spoken with countless Jews who talk about being Jewish. Look at the words you've chosen: "risk" and "fear". I have heard Jews express fear, and awareness of risk, but no Jew I've met would reduce all of Jewish experience to risk and fear.

The Jews I marked Yom Kippur with were aware of risk and had prudent fear. But they were not fearful. They were not obsessed with risk. They do not define their Judaism by terror, not even the little old lady in a foreign country who had bad ankles. I'm not going to tell you what the rest of Judaism entails, because you should know it yourself. I'm not going to make your anonymous cosplay easier for you by giving you explicit pointers.

Fourth, let's talk about "looking and acting like a Jew".

The man guiding my conversion has been physically attacked multiple times in the past three months, to the point where he has stopped wearing his kippah in public--especially around his own home because he's concerned someone will find said home and stalk/attack him and his wife. He is the leader of a group of Jews who are reinstating Judaism in a land where there have been no Jews in centuries. There will, for the first time in half a millennium, be a Torah in this part of the world due to his tireless efforts. He has, immeasurably, made the world a better, more spiritual, and more Jewish place. He is the guy the press and the government and the local Christian and Muslim groups contact if they want to ask about Jewish holidays or the opinion of the local Jewish population. He is the guy who writes all the statements put out by the local Jewish organization, of which he is the president and founder. In that sense, even taking off the kippah won't shield him--he is definitionally, visibly Jewish.

And you may tell yourself "Oh, he must be born Jewish if he's doing all that, so of COURSE he's got a lifelong experience with Judaism and of COURSE he's had a lifelong experience of antisemitism so of COURSE he knows more about all of this than you do, Fire."

This man is a convert.

He has, to use your attitude, "only" been Jewish for one-third of his life.

So, like, what did you mean by "looking and acting like a Jew" being a thing gerim know nothing about? What did you mean about how gerim cannot "look" or "act" like Jews enough to experience antisemitism? What was that about gerim not being entitled to opinions because of their ignorance on what being a Jew is like? What kind of phrenology are you practicing to determine who was a born Jew and who converted? What alchemy do you believe in in which the flesh of a born Jew has mystical qualia that mine does not?

I believe that I will enter the mikveh a ger, and I will emerge a Jew. My belief is in line with literally every rabbinical source I have encountered and the opinion of every single Jew I've ever read... except yours. Mysteriously, you don't believe the mikveh is a closed practice only for Jews, and that the only way a goy could ever be permitted to enter a mikveh is so that they will emerge from it Jewish, just as Jewish as those who emerged from their parents' wombs as Jews.

Why don't you believe that? Why are you the odd Jew out?

Is it because you're pretending to be Jewish to sow dissent and hurt random strangers for your own cruel pleasure? I sure think so!

Fifth, let's focus on the next bit in greater detail. Why do you think I'm a Zionist when I've never stated one way or the other?

I'll tell you why!

You found my name on one of the Zionist Blocklists that your fellow antisemites put together. I'm not on all of them, but I have ended up on at least one! And you're going through that blocklist, pretending to be Jewish in order to harass the Jews you found on there. You think you can try to trick me into abandoning my baby-eating ways by suggesting that the "real Jews" don't think I'm one of them.

The funny part about that is that I didn't end up on that list by being a Zionist on main. I ended up on that list by talking about my conversion process, reblogging pictures of Judaica, talking to Jews, and reblogging posts from Jews. That's it. That is why I know those blocklists are utter BS--because I, like dozens of other Jews would tell you if you weren't an antisemitic troll, wasn't on a Zionist Blocklist at all.

I was put on a list of Jews for the crime of being Jewish on Tumblr. You are trying to hurt me because I was visibly Jewish online. You are only here because you found me on a Jew-Hate List.

But go ahead and tell me I've no idea what antisemitism is, or what being visibly Jewish is like.

Sixth: very bold of you to assume I don't have any ties to Israel! Are you sure about that? Are you really sure? It's not something I have ever discussed on my blog, and it's interesting that you would assume this means the answer is "no", when it could just as easily be "I don't discuss that detail of my personal life online with total strangers who are also antisemites and disgraces to their hate movements".

Guess which one is the correct answer! Go on, guess!

Seventh, I don't actually care about what you think about my conversion, even if you are Jewish (you aren't--this is a hypothetical). Conversion isn't a popularity contest. There are a ton of people who don't accept my conversion because I'm going to be Masorti. There are a ton of other people who will assume I don't think they're Jewish because they're not Masorti.

And I just... don't really care about the argument, overall. There are several Jewish opinions which matter to me. The man who's guiding my conversion, the Rabbit teaching my conversion class, and the beit din who will interview me. That's actually pretty much it! If other Jews don't think I'm Jewish, they're entitled to their opinion and they don't have to spend time with me or invite me to their services. They're justified in controlling who accesses their sacred spaces. It'd be nice if they weren't jerks about it, but you can't always get what you want.

Just to be totally, abundantly clear, then: even if you were Jewish, you'd still be wrong to tell me that I'm not and that my opinion is meaningless. It's just useful to point out that you aren't Jewish, about which I have one more point to make!

And last (don't worry, I know you stopped reading long ago, but I like to be thorough), I do not know why you're asking me to refute, or support, an ideology for a nation in which I do not live. I don't have an opinion on Kahanism more complex than "I don't like what I've heard about it". If you'd asked me my opinion on the Vox/PP alliance in Spain, I could write for days! Or if you asked me about how horseshoe theory is validated by the alliance between red fash, green fash, and Republicans in the US--I can and have written about that, too!

I don't write about Israeli politics in depth for the same reason I don't write about the political situation in Ukraine, or Canada, or Myanmar, or Qatar, or Ghana, or Greenland, or any of the other places I don't live. It seems silly for me to pontificate on political situations I don't understand when, most often, all I can offer is what I already said: "sounds bad, if true".

Here, let me liberate you from your self-constructed prison: you don't have to have a strong and informed opinion on every single thing occurring on the face of the Earth. It's okay for you to not know stuff. You do not have to form a hard opinion instantaneously because a stranger on the Internet demanded it. You can, and should, plead ignorance and move on with your life. You will be a far happier person if you are not ruled by obsessive anxiety regarding things you don't know. STOP MAKING HOT TAKES.

But, of course, I kid. I know, the same as you, why you brought up Kahanism. It's because you're the same anon who's going around harassing Jews by pretending to be Jewish, and you finally learned how to spell "Kahanism" correctly, and you're very, very proud of yourself and wanted to show off.

I am glad you found out it's not spelled Khanism!

This is the thing, brother. You are lying through your teeth. You are trying so hard to hurt Jews, and you're convinced this tactic will work. You want to create infighting among all the zionazi scum you despise. You and folks like you pretended to be Jews who were outraged over a bar mitzvah being performed in a television program, and you pretend to be Jews who are salty about the existence of converts. But I've gotta tell you, as a ger, I can still see right through you. It's all pretense.

You are as Jewish as an Easter ham.

Give up the game, anon. You're not clever enough to play it.

[prince-liest]

i know you didn't mean anything bad by it, but it really discouraged me to see you rb that anti-reader-insert post. i write and enjoy both reader-insert and shipfic (my 2016 baby-in-fandom roots were in shipfic, but i'm pretty active in the reader-insert community as well these days). i really look up to you as both a current med student would to a resident (i'm an m2) and a writer would to a more-experienced/established writer, so i guess seeing you agree with a post that disparages a part of the fanfic community that we both engage in made me feel upset.

i definitely understand where people come from when they complain about xreader fics flooding the tags. i've felt that exasperation and annoyance of scrolling through the tags both on ao3 and tumblr, searching for fanart or shipfics of my favorite characters, only to be inundated with reader-insert works that i'm not in the mood to read. so, i get it.

i guess my point is: i look up to you. i really enjoy your writing. and because of my parasocial connection to you (i.e., enjoyment of your fandom takes and writing), it hurt my feelings that you seem to hold a pretty negative opinion about a side of the fandom writing community that i happen to pour a lot of myself into.

please don't feel pressured to respond to this at all-- residency is hard enough without some random anon on the internet nagging at you about some random reblog that is not nearly as important as patient care or saving lives. i don't even really know what the purpose of telling you this was; i'm not trying to change your opinion about reader-insert or anything like that. i think i just wanted to let you know how i felt seeing your reblog, with no expectations that you do anything with that information /gen. but yeah. i hope you're able to get some rest and take some time for yourself soon, and i look forward to continuing to your fics in the future.

Hey, there anon! First of all, it may make you feel better to know that I actually have absolutely nothing against x reader fics at a baseline. It's not my thing, I don't read it, but I don't have enough of an opinion on it to dislike it. I'm a big proponent of "write what you want" and while I've never written x reader content, I've roleplayed plenty of canon x OC ships back in the day, and write a lot of stuff that needs the dead dove tag. This post, to my understanding and in my intent, was meant to express humorous frustration with the ongoing issue specifically of a lot of x reader fics (particularly in the last several months, I suspect either because of Tiktok or due to Twitter's downward spiral) being tagged with irrelevant tags. I've actually had to ask on multiple posts something like "Why is this tagged with [canon ship]?"

Most people have kindly removed the tag and explained that they thought it was good exposure and didn't realize that wasn't how things work on Tumblr, which is great, but it's still frustrating that it's hard to scroll through a lot of tags without seeing lengthy and explicit x reader fics that are either tagged with unrelated ships/characters/fandoms, or undertagged with blockable x reader tags.

Even if I did dislike x reader, though, I just want to emphasize to you: I really appreciate that you look up to me and I'm really happy that I'm able to provide some encouragement to you in the form of someone with a similar creative hobby on the same career path, but also, my opinions on matters of personal taste really don't matter. I am, at the end of the day, A Random Person On The Internet Who Has A Blog, and I encourage you to look at opinions of mine that grate on you and think: "Eh. Just another random person I don't happen to agree with. Whatever, I guess." and move on, because in the long run this will be more fair to both yourself and me. There are indeed actually popular but harmless parts of fandom that I'm growing to dislike a little bit, and it feels strange to be unable to casually refer to or joke about that without being worried that it will hurt someone's feelings that I don't personally like the same thing they do. This is actually some of why I'm on Tumblr and not Twitter - the parasocial issues tend to be stronger on there! I confess that I don't really know exactly what to do about this problem yet, but I'm going to endeavor to not censor myself (as long as I'm not being a dick, ofc) while also encouraging people to not put me up on too much of a pedestal.

At any rate, I'll clarify in the tags of the post what I meant by my reblog, and I hope this at least offered some reassurance to you!

[buddiebeginz]

But how is Tommy good for Buck right now? All he does that we’ve seen is belittle Buck any chance he gets.

I assume this is in reference to this ask that I reblogged? Just because I reblog something doesn't mean I agree with every single part of it particularly when it comes to asks often I'm reblogging for the responses.

Personally I don't like T*mmy as a character and even if Eddie didn't exist I still wouldn't like him with Buck. Him and Buck just don't work as a couple. In the first place Oliver and Lou just don't have that natural chemistry needed to pull off a believable romantic couple and it's certainly nothing compared to Oliver and Ryan who have magical chemistry just standing in the same scene together.

Second T*mmy and Buck just seem too different. Buck gets hyper fixated on things and is easily excitable and he especially (given his family history) often needs a little extra support and validation. Buck is also a little younger and newer to figuring out his sexuality. T*mmy is older with more life experience and also just generally has a more mellow personality than Buck. Which I know people might say opposites attract but in this case I think they're just too different.

T*mmy seems to have less patience and on multiple occasions it's felt like he was easily annoyed by Buck. On the first date when Buck was nervous T*mmy seemed annoyed in part probably because he's been out for a while and didn't want to deal with someone who is still figuring things out. You can't tell me that it didn't play some part when T*mmy literally left Buck right after he got nervous and told Eddie they were going to pick up some chicks. T*mmy could have said to Buck let's skip the movie and go back to your place and talk. Instead he just left. And going back to what I said about Buck needing extra emotional support I can only imagine how he felt his first time going out with a guy and being that vulnerable to just be left standing on the curb not fully understanding why.

Then there was the bachelor party. T*mmy seemed annoyed when Buck made a big deal about him not dressing up. T*mmy also didn't seem to notice or care that planning the bachelor party was important Buck. You could argue that T*mmy didn't know it was that important or that he didn't dress up because he had to work but when Buck expressed his feelings about it instead of T*mmy apologizing he was dismissive.

T*mmy was also dismissive when Buck was excited about receiving his first award telling him to "enjoy it while it lasts." And we know how important receiving that award was to Buck because apart from everything else he told Eddie back in s3 how much getting one would mean to him. Yet when he finally does instead of celebrating him the guy he's seeing acts like it's no big deal.

Then of course there was the daddy kink joke. Which the main issue was never that T*mmy was talking about something sexual it was that he chose to make a joke like that when Buck was being vulnerable and talking about his father figure almost dying.

I don't like T*mmy and I think Buck deserves so much better for a partner, that said everyone is entitled to ship who they want. I have nothing against the person in that post I reblogged who says they like B/T right now. My problem is mainly the militant part of that fandom that has decided even disliking T*mmy or not shipping B/T is homophobic. Or that somehow canon is superior to fanon. That celebrating Eddie as a queer character is somehow problematic now when it never was before.

[leomonae]

What is this drama with dhampling I'm so confused but I like drama

I'm not bothering to look anything up for my summary, so no guarantees on complete accuracy. Explanation below the cut since I highly doubt anyone not directly involved is going to care about any of this.

Right, so basically @dhampling put up a post asking for BG3 fic recs the other... day? Week? Idk, I'm bad at time, it was recently, anyway. They asked for recs, various people reblogged and responded, including someone who recced a few members of this discord server I'm in - smaller creators, writers who haven't had much of an audience/exposure for their fics, and were pretty happy about the recognition. At some point, dhampling deleted their original post on the subject, leaving a message on their blog about how they didn't want to name names/get pulled into drama or some such - making a pretty vague statement that raised more questions than it answered, basically.

Some members of that discord server I mentioned were a little miffed about this, since to their minds it was removing one of the ways they might get more people finding/reading their fics. I, personally, was rolling my eyes at the incredibly vague nature of the non-explanation and questioning why they didn't just delete the thing and leave it alone after, if they didn't want it being made into some big deal somehow. Since the discord server is private/invite-only, some of us expressed said frustrations in a vent thread therein. Other people, including the person who'd reblogged and given some recs of the server's members, attempted to speak in dhampling's defense a little - they're young (which I guess they disliked being said about them once they found this out?), we don't know what prior experiences they've had in fandoms and some people can get vicious sometimes, the OP's original post may be gone but the reblogs are still out there so it's not a huge deal anyway, etc etc.

Then at some point soon afterwards, someone in the server shared screenshots of the aforementioned venting with dhampling, who apparently strongly disliked it/what was said? I know the server owner tried reaching out to talk to them without getting a response, and I gather that they blocked a few people, but as far as I was aware, this nonsense was pretty much over. Guess not, though!

Oh yeah, and around the time we were discussing the matter in the server, I went and commented on dhampling's "I deleted my post" non-explanation to say that it didn't really tell us anything at all and questioning if it was something personal or an issue with one of the stories or what, since a) I am a naturally curious/nosy person sometimes, b) a couple of my buddies were fretting that they might have done something to offend this person somehow, and c) why not?

And no, dhampling, if you were including me in the whole "I want an apology" thing you just posted, I will not, in fact, be offering one. I decided the other day upon review that I have no actual issues with anything I said at the time, and given that it was a handful of friends expressing some mild frustrations to one another in a private server, where they had every reason to expect their words would remain private rather than ever getting back to you, I don't really think anyone there owes you an apology anyway.

Sometimes people get annoyed with others. Sometimes they say so to their friends privately, rather than going and being rude to the person who annoyed them or whatever. This is normal, healthy, interpersonal behaviour. Nobody was plotting to come harass you or what the fuck ever; there would be no harm done here at all, including to your feelings, if someone from our server hadn't decided to disrespect our own members' right to have their private comments not shared with someone outside without their consent.

So let's drop this non-issue, already, huh?

[hexhomos]

do you have any advice on creating for a fandom where the target audience is super small? i published my first jv fanwork the other day and although i obviously dont just do it for compliments/attention, im hesitant about continuing to create because it feels discouraging to be the only one interested in what i have to offer if that makes sense. i feel like leaguefic is not in demand at all in comparison to arcane and im not sure how to motivate myself… i love your work, thank you so much

To be perfectly honest, not bullshitting you at all here: I don't think there is a single-person fix for this. I have a share/discussion based brain and i generally thrive when doing most of my work within, at least, a private active community. A lot of times my motivation *for* finishing a complex painting or polishing up 10k+ words of something is that i want to be able to show other people what i see and what i like about certain things. Without that community aspect, i just tend to keep to myself and never evolve past drafts lol

Making art is hard. Especially if you have some sort of affective or emotional attachment to the subject. I think a couple years ago it wasn't so tasking, or at least it didn't feel so lonely, because fandoms tended to be more willing to leave indepth feedback or engage with things they liked on a daily basis -- but the culture of 'fast consumption' 'content mills' and 'neverending generated content' of the present decade has taught a lot of people to undervalue the work that goes into transformative projects.

This is why nowadays we see so many frequent calls reminding people to comment in fic, or actually hit the reblog button on some art they like, or even try to use long tags to express what they feel. The 'neverending content influx' marketing push has rendered broader audiences (and im including myself here, i'm not perfect) more apathetic, and more wiling to silently pass by things without a word, prioritizing the 'consumption' of 'large masses of content' rather than curiosity or engaging with a single thing for large amounts of time.

the TL;DR is that I don't think this is something you can fix on your own. It's an environmental issue. When I write, I'm doing so with the confidence that at least one person is really going to engage with it. (this can be a friend, or another internet person similarly lost in the digital desert, it varies.) The only way to rejuvenate a fandom ecosystem is to remind people to *try to give a tiny piece of their time* back to artists whose work they love, appreciate, or even mildly enjoy. It doesn't have to be HUGE extensive feedback everytime. If something made you chuckle for even a second, just try telling that to the person who made it. If you enjoyed reading something, or were amused by how someone wrote your favorite character, go tell them! right now! Try doing it a little bit of that every day! If everyone who sees this post went out right now to leave a word for a small creative they enjoy, we already would be so much better off. Communities are like orchid gardens; to get the special, unique, blooming flowers, you need a steady hand caring for them. We are all gardeners.

[fairy-writes]

then how about this: Akaza with a demon that's actually from hell and not from accepting Muzan's blood?

MAKE A DEAL

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Demon Slayer

Pairing(s): Akaza x Reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Gender Neutral!Reader, Demon!Reader

Notes: thanking everyone EXTENSIVELY for helping me with this idea!

__________________________________________________________________________

Akaza didn’t dream. 

Not really, at least. 

It wasn’t like he needed sleep. Demons didn’t require rest to function, but when you couldn’t go out during the day, sleep became a close friend.

So when he opens his eyes in his dreamscape, he is more than a little confused. 

Especially when he spots you. You were sitting with one leg crossed over the other on a log and watching him with eyes that, frankly, made him a bit nervous. They were yellow, a luminescent golden iris surrounded by an inky black sclera. The color was accentuated by what you were wearing—a pristine, white, knee-length, toga-like outfit. 

Something ancient from a bygone age. 

Long forgotten.

Just who were you?

Out of the blue, you said a name. 

Your name? 

He sat up (When had he been lying down? He never laid down. He always slept with his back against a wall.), taking in his surroundings. He was in a forest with massive pine trees surrounding him on all sides, with a small creek burbling and splitting the ground between you two. 

“Who are you?” He asks, and you simply smile at him, showing off pointed teeth that are too straight. Too white. Too unnatural.

“I already told you, silly.” You reply in jest, and he scowls. 

He already wants you to leave. 

You pout and stand, adjusting the hem of your toga and then your sandals before hopping down off the log.

“Fine then.” You huff and make to walk away into the woods when Akaza realizes something. 

“Are you reading my mind?” He asks, and you stop, looking over your shoulder to watch him with those glowing yellow eyes. 

“And if I am?” You ask, and he clenches his fists.

“Stop it.” Is all he says. 

At that, you shrug and go to take another step.

“Oh well. I was looking forward to a lovely conversation with the infamous Upper-Rank Three. But I suppose I can go talk to Upper Two. He’s usually asleep about this time.” You muse, and Akaza feels a jolt of rage shoot through him. 

Douma? 

“Why would you talk to that scum?” He snarls, and you turn around, eyebrow raised, and head cocked to the side. 

“Because I am looking for conversation. But you seem to have the conversation skills of a toddler. Telling me to “stop it” like a three-year-old.” You reply, tone teasing but surprisingly not upset. You sounded delighted that he was even talking to you.

Why?

But your comment has him gritting his teeth. 

Something about you irritates him. 

But… against his better judgment… he sits down on a rock when you gesture for him to do so. You sit back on the log, crossing one leg delicately over the other, and study him as if you were a bird studying prey. 

He hated feeling like this—like he was in the presence of someone more powerful than he. 

“So? What do you want?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Your eyes narrow briefly, and then you roll them,

“To make a friend? See what it’s like being one of Kibustuji Muzan’s subjects? All of the above?” You say, and he freezes at the name of his master. 

Surely, you were a demon like him. 

How were you able to say his name so freely?

He waits for the screaming. 

The tearing apart of your body. 

The blood. 

Everything that comes with saying his name. 

But no such thing happens. 

You watch him with a curious sort of expression, and then a thought occurs to you. 

“You think I’m one of his?” You gape, and when he nods silently, you begin to laugh. 

And laugh.

And laugh.

It’s the type of laugh that shakes your whole body. The kind of laugh that makes it hard to breathe. A whole-body experience that goes on seemingly forever. You gasp and wheeze as you hunch over to wrap your arms around your stomach. Somewhere in the back of Akaza’s mind, he’s worried about you falling off the log and indecently exposing yourself. 

Eventually, you get your snickering under control, wiping tears from your eyes as you stifle more giggles. 

“That is simply a preposterous thought! To think I’d be lumped in with the same league as Muzan?! Ha! I’m much more powerful than he is!” You sneer, and Akaza has to stop himself from staring in astonishment. 

More powerful than his master? 

Was such a thing possible?

You seemingly read his mind (yet again) and answer before he has the chance to articulate his thoughts. 

“There are other ways to become a demon, you know. I’m living proof of that. Much more efficient, too. I can go out in the sunlight and everything!” You say, and Akaza is reeling.

Another way to become a demon? 

Just how—

“You just have to make a deal with me.” You interrupt his thoughts with that grin that makes him uneasy. Something about you seems off… Something he can’t quite place. But… he asks something on his mind.

“What sort of deal?” At that, your grin widens almost impossibly so, and you extend a hand. 

“You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?” You say, and against his better judgment, Akaza takes your hand in his and shakes it. 

Only to watch your eyes darken until the inky blackness swallows him whole. 

“Perfect.” 

[prismatoxic]

i've told parts of this story before, but bare with me, i'm emotional.

so like, i've had this blog since 2021. my original tumblr blog (made in 2011 iirc) was nuked in 2018 for exactly the reason you think (nsfw ban) and i didn't return for a handful of years because it stung so bad. even when i did, i mostly used twitter.

i started posting to tumblr more regularly when musk's twitter takeover finally pissed me off enough to ditch it. (i have since gone back, sort of, but am not reliably present and mostly just rt art people send me.) i've been pretty consistently here since then, sans a very angry break when all the shit with automattic's CEO happened.

and like... looking through my archives... i only made a dedicated tag for asks last july, even though i've been using an organizational tag system since i made this blog. that's how infrequent they were. my art usually got between 0 and 3 notes. when i left briefly back in january, i deleted every post in my art tag because i didn't want to leave my work here, but also, like... the only things that went anywhere were some of my mgs fanarts. no one owes anyone's work attention, but it didn't feel worth it, you know? like why share it with the public when i can just show it to the like 3 friends i know who care?

i came back partially because i felt... isolated. i have friends on the fediverse and on discord, but tumblr gave me a sense of being in a community, even if i didn't feel like an important part of said community. i missed queuing funny posts to enjoy weeks later, i missed being kept sort of in-the-loop about fandom goings-on, i missed my friends who were still here. (and that last one is also part of why i check twitter more now.)

but that alone wasn't enough, because i was a nobody here and it probably wasn't worth it to try again. but then devot and i started watching dungeon meshi, and i got into chilaios just like i thought i would, and tumblr has the largest concentration of chilaios fanart and posts. not only that, but every post i saw in the tag had so much engagement! i didn't see a single one that went unnoticed, back in february. so i hesitantly came back. i started reblogging chilaios posts. i didn't intend to try and break into the space because i knew it'd just hurt if i went unnoticed again, like i did in other fandoms.

but i made friends, little by little. i started a fanfic. i cautiously began posting my art again. i started writing meta, and shitposts, and replying on other people's posts, and commenting on other people's fics, and now...

that ask tag i mentioned? there are 15 pages of posts with that tag on my blog. only 2 and a half of those pages are asks from before i got into dunmeshi. people talk to me--they care about my thoughts and my opinions, they compliment the things i make. i have a group of like, 30+ people i interact with regularly, many of which i now consider close friends. everything i post gets some attention, no matter what it is.

this isn't a humblebrag, it's just... a thank you. i can't really properly express the depths of the loneliness i've felt in the past. i was an outcast for a long time, and it was way worse pre-2019, but i don't think it's ever fully left me. i've been hurt very, very badly in the past, and i've been abandoned a lot, and i've been ostracized a lot. i've grown into who i am today both in spite of and because of all i've been through, and for that i wouldn't ever change it, but it was still hard.

so today, as i turn 29, seeing asks and gifts pour in to tell me happy birthday, and that i'm appreciated... just, thank you.

if there's one thing you can give me today, it's this: reblog someone's art or writing or meta with some enthusiastic tags. send someone a friendly ask. reply to someone's post to comment on something they've said. write comments on ao3 for the fics that move you, no matter how much or how little you can think of to say.

this is going to sound cheesy as hell, but i genuinely mean it: reach out, and spread joy, whenever and wherever you can. you never know who's in pain, who's lonely or who feels worthless. and if it's you who feels that way, do what you can anyway; a community that isn't afraid to reach out will reach back to you, too. and you're not alone. i care, i promise--and more people than you realize do too.

it's so easy to underestimate how much a kind word can do. they add up, though. so keep going.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Hey! I love your work, and I think you get everything down to Alfie’s language to the fucking t! It’s so fucking good when I can literally hear him in my head while I’m reading! Sidenote—please don’t cut my head off, because I’m *genuinely* trying to understand. I’ve followed you for awhile and I’ve noticed you engaging in the discourse about readers and reblogs, likes, etc., so I thought maybe you would be a good person to try to help me understand why some writers seem to be so upset by some readers liking instead of reblogging. Again, I’m not trying to attack anyone, I promise, but even as a writer myself, I struggle to grasp why it matters so much. Like, of course, comments and/or reblogs with comments make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! It makes my day hearing that someone has loved a thing I’ve put my time and effort into creating, but likes are called “likes” for a reason—to let someone know you liked what they posted. In my head, getting them is another way for people to let me know they enjoyed what I put out. I’m not saying that anyone is, but to me, it comes off a little entitled when people get upset at readers for not explicitly praising their work with comments and such. Yes, the site is free and we’re not getting paid to write fanfics, but nobody owes anyone anything. When I write a thing and post it, I don’t feel like readers are then obligated to give me feedback because putting it online is a decision that *I* made. If they take the time to comment on it, that’s fucking wonderful, but that doesn’t mean that people who don’t do that are in the wrong for using the like button as their way of telling writers “Hey, I like this!” if they’re uncomfortable interacting or don’t have anything specific in mind to say. I’ve seen people talk about just copy/pasting a comment, but I don’t get how having 100 comments that all say “I like this fic!” or whatever is any different than using the button that’s meant to indicate “I like this fic!”. If somebody’s going to say something about my work, I would rather it be because they genuinely wanted to comment, not because they feel obligated to do so. I really hope this doesn’t come off as rude and I’m so sorry if it does. I’m just confused because both interactions mean the same thing—the only difference is that some people are more comfortable sharing their thoughts in depth or socializing online. I don’t know, it sorta feels like some are trying to police what other people do/don’t do with their blogs when we’re all here for the same reason—to fuck around and fuck our favorite characters. (Or daydream about it, unfortunately lmao)

Okay, I will try and explain it for you, nonie.

The reason why we are frustrated over the lack of reblogs is very simple, and if you’ve been following me for a while I’m surprised that you haven’t noted the reason by now.

Essentially, it keeps the fandoms going. It spreads posts around, it gives them visibility since half the time, the tags don’t work (it’s hit and miss at best!) and the algorithms on this site are virtually nonexistent, so having our work shared is a vitally helpful way for us to reach more people.

This isn’t Instagram. The reblog button is there to be used as that’s the very ethos of the tumblr experience; you see something that you enjoy, you like it, you share it. You seem to be forgetting that and solely focusing on commentary, but let’s get to that, shall we?

You’re absolutely right, nobody is obligated to comment, but come on. It’s a tiny exertion of effort to reward an author. It’s interaction, it can help people feel like what they wrote is valued beyond the bare minimum. It’s a tiny expression of gratitude in a world were fast consumption of “content” is now the norm. It also helps people - new writers especially - feel like they’re not shouting into a void. It all also ties in the the community of fandoms, which seems to be dying because of this quick consumption trend.

If you are fine with none of the above happening, with no sense of community in your respective fandom, with people not offering comments - or the more important reblogs - great! But people aren’t wrong for wanting a little more from our audiences, especially when that little more takes seconds to participate in.

I hope that clears things up for you.

[hopeymchope]

hopeymchope, this anon is confused about something. You’ve made it no secret that you detest characters like Kokichi and Hiyoko, and you’ve expressed noticeable (and very vocal) distaste for the bullying apologist attitude of modern fandom.

What confuses this anon is, why do you sometimes reblog fan art of those two characters? Most bloggers don’t give a “platform” to characters or worldviews they despise. Thanks in advance!

Hi! I think I can answer that in couple of different ways.

1) While I do hate the characters as people and also greatly dislike this attitude of woobifying highly problematic characters (y'know, the kind of crowd who would say something like "The Joker did nothing wrong"), I also don't mind having those characters in the narratives as a whole. In fact, I do think they add something to their stories/games! I view Kokichi as a really compelling antagonist. I think Hiyoko represents a personality type that is very believable and sadly very present in our world. in some people. I don't think it's wrong for them to be there. I just think it's wrong to like them for what they add. Kind of like Junko Enoshima: Great villian, great character, but I absolutely do not endorse her or her actions in any way, she is CLEARLY wrong.

To summarize: If I think someone is a good enemy/villain/antagonist, I might very well like some art of that character, but that doesn't mean I also endorse them as a person, y'know?

(Admittedly, some of these artists I'm reblogging might legitimately celebrate and adore and want to protect these characters, so maybe I'm furthering that attitude unintentionally... but I can't really know that from an art post, typically.)

2) At the same time, I sometimes share artwork of ships or situations I don't like just because I like the artwork itself that much. So sometimes, I get lured into posting artwork of something I don't necessarily support just because I wanted to share the art itself?

[gunkbaby]

do you think Tsukiyama is a vrigin

I’ll answer this quickly because an unwarranted overanalysis about Shuu and sex is coming I fear - which was not the question!

Personally, in general: no.

When I read him, when I write him, I don’t see him as a virgin. I actually have a oneshot related to his ‘first time’ sitting half-baked in my drafts, relating it to ‘ghoul hood’ and people eating - it’s maybe a bit Bones And All coded lol - I might post it idk. My main project with him has sex as a sort of key theme - using it to express passion that isn’t understood, ferality, and forms of self-destruction - I bring that up to say that maybe I don’t think Shuu is a virgin because I have been writing this thing too long, and maybe it’s swayed my answer/opinion of him. Maybe also worth noting that I headcanon Shuu as having BPD and I have BPD, and that can affect how you act sexually and I also find that the way I myself think about sex and the like can also be a bit odd. So in short: maybe I’m utterly wrong, and am horrendously projecting my experiences alone in my opinion! You tell me!

In canon though, I’m like 99% sure he has eaten sexual organs - and I don’t doubt there’s more off-screen meals he’s done like that. So maybe that adds a bit of credence to Shuu not being a virgin - if you associate the way ghouls eat with their sexuality. I certainly wouldn’t call him a prude, regardless.

I think Shuu’s virginity or lack thereof can be approached it in different ways - I feel like Shuu could be read as a virgin also. If someone said that I wouldn’t argue heavily against it, unless it was used to like. Make fun of him, or something - because mocking virginity is just really lame to me. But I don’t think him being a virgin is mischaracterisation or whatever.

Maybe virginity isn’t that big of a deal for ghouls - they eat people and I imagine they don’t differ Down There much from humans, so maybe they just think of sex differently. Maybe they experience it differently, feel it differently. I think that’s an interesting thought - how ghoulhood might affect their sexuality - something to chew on, I like that.

If I do allow myself one tangential point here about Shuu and sex in general, I would argue against is the idea that Shuu is like. A horny sex pest. I’ve seen that interpretation before, mostly on the TG Reddit - shocking to no one. Worth noting that TG Reddit is where most of the straight men in this fandom are, and that particular interpretation of Shuu feels very much like a straight man’s comprehension of pining. Like I’ve seen art of him with kinda foot fetish intentions from him and it feels so…Like people weren’t understanding why Shuu is a bit. Peculiar about the Kaneki handkerchief - i don’t read it as a fetish or anything for him, i read it as him being hyper-focused on something and needing every part of it - something like that. He might be getting a bit randy in those scenes, but I feel like it’s not in the way ppl have made out - Shuu doesn’t feel like a ‘male gaze man’ to me, and that interpretation does feel like that to me.

Sorry. I allowed myself one long tangent lmao. Maybe I’ll sound off about Shuu and sex in the reblogs - but I kinda wanna rethink my ideas of it anyways, so sorry if in like. Three days I reblog this with excess Shuu waffle. Thank you for the ask anon!