#why would they i havent given anyone a reason to

[toxifoxx]

[lbhslefttiddie]

honestly i don't think sqq (jiu) would have minded the accusations of preferential treatment from yqy if they'd felt true. like as children he guarded the title of being yue qi's Favorite with teeth and claws. why shouldn't he be given preferential treatment? everyone ought to know just who qi-ge likes and trusts over everyone else. and for good fucking reason--who else here is watching out for qi-ge? as peak lords he's literally 2nd in command and chief tactician, if yqy values his word over yours, then its both what makes most sense and also what he deserves.

the thing is that to sqq, being accused of being favoured by yqy over others now just feels like a sick joke, because obviously (to him) that's not the fucking case. if he actually gave him preferential treatment you'd think he'd listen to what he has to fucking say, instead of believing what anyone else tells him about sqq. you'd think, if he was yqy's favorite, he wouldn't have left him to rot.

so i think, in a setting where they reconcile after becoming peak lords, that sqq would very much slap yqy's love for him in everyones faces as a kind of power move. a kind of, "oh, you thought that was favouritism? you havent seen yet what it looks like when qi-ge lets himself favour someone."

[opal-owl-flight]

Your Protege. (Pt 2)

(Pt 1)

SAME DAY DELIVERY. HERE WE GO.

This is the only time theyve shown such sheer anger in front of anyone. Theyre usually just cold, or disappointed -- never furious.

Its one of the times Neo3 actually feared the captain.

MORE NOTES ABT CUTTLEFISH BELOW

Not over how Cuttlefish is this fuckign loony old man who pushes his ideas on young 3, constantly goinf "yall kids think Im crazy but LOOK WHOS RIGHT FOR ONCE", "I cant fight anymore, thats why I got you!", "Youre hero material, kid! Youre gonna be big!!"

Then raves abt how the Octarians are evil

3, who was desperate for praise from someone who reminds them of their direct relatives, does everything he says to do just to be appreciated more.

Cuttlefish taught them how to fight hand to hand. How to move and think on their feet. (Though they were given similar in their younger years)

Cuttlefish was... generally more warm and supportive than their dad, but yknow. A lot of this started bc 3 agreed to work for him. Be his deadly weapon.

-------

Cuttlefish was more concerned abt the Zapfish than 3s well-being then... He knew that the constant praising was working so hes gonna keep doing it. (...mostly bc thats what worked on HIM back then)

After 3 does his dirty work, he realized he should probably keep the kid around bc his paranoia with Octaria is a damn bitch and this kid is one hell of an ass kicker. They dont mind. Right??

3 never showed any sign of wanting to leave. Why would they, he was so kind to them, more than their dad or grandad ever was. (Also the paranoia rubbed off on them. Oops!)

Then, he asked them to go on a longer patrol with him. Pushed them to their fucking limit. Bc of what?? Octaria making moves again? (Octavio did make moves but they were already, as we say in the game, "too far from the objective to really contribute to the fight". This is why agent 4 was dragged in.)

There, 3 saw more and more that hes just a loony old man who wanted to have a fancy weapon to protect him in his crusade. A crusade they never really questioned, mind you. Theyve no reason to believe Octaria was nice in any way, not when they keep trying to kill them. (...in self defense. They havent realized, yet.)

Then they encounter 8, who had dropped her weapon at the sight of them. Raising her hands in surrender. 3 was far ahead of the coot, and managed to actually talk to her and everything. They were this close to bringing her back to Inkopolis as a friend, until the bastard ruined the moment.

Cuttlefish still told them that she was a danger. It might be a trick! Dont put your guard down! Pressured to follow their superior, 3s mask returns to their face, turning onto 8 with the herl shot ready to fire.

Then they all tumbled into the metro.......

....for Cuttlefish to use yet ANOTHER kid (8) to get him out of a hairy situation.

--------

Hes a crazy old man. Only caring for any of the kids beyond the platoon after they do his dirty work.

Like "mmm! Thank you for committing the war crimes in my stead. Youre a good kid, you know that? Anything I can do to support you further? Mmmm???"

...I dont think hes aware.

Hes not aware that hes harming the entire platoon, bc in his mind hes doing the greater good here. Get some easily manipulable kids on the street, shower em with praise and promises of glory and valor, and theyll do ANYTHING for you.

Including the warcrimes you keep wanting to do.

I think...I think he doesnt know hes manipulating the kids. I think he genuinely believes his own promises. He glamorizes the valor of war bc hes a commander who sits in the back of it. He really believes that this is for the best. He believes that this is how you inspire your troops to fight.

--------

LETS GO THATS ALL MY NOTES I SPENT ALL DAY FINISHING THIS COMIC. GOODNIGHT INKOPOLIS!!!

[kookidough]

analysing vance hopper because he lives in my head 24/7 !

tw for like. literally everything the black phone covers!!!!!!

also there's some special effects gore rather far down in the post idk just i feel like i should warn you just in case

okay so before anyones like "but bee!!!! he only had 6 minutes of screen time in a 102 minute long movie!!!!! he was only on screen for 5.8% of the movie!!!!!" and to that i say i Know it was a real tragedy so a lot of this will be built on personal interpretation and subtext and stuff said behind the scenes and whatnot

so firstly i wanna rot about what his childhood/upbringing might've been like..... i havent quite decided on something definitive but i think we can take one look at his character and realise that is glaringly obvious he had a bad childhood, in one interview the actor that plays him (brady hepner) says "the background i had set up for vance is that the reason he was the way he was is his home life was fairly difficult, you know maybe his dad was either not there for him or he wasn't supportive, maybe he was fairly abusive, and so that creates a hair trigger sense of rage in vance" hair trigger meaning his patience is literally as thin as a strand of hair it does Not take a lot for him to snap

there more to it after that which i'll get into soon but yea thats the gist of it it's clear he had absent/neglectful/abusive parents and that would certainly contribute to why he's so angry all the time, maybe acting so explosive was the only way to get his parents' attention, either good or bad, so he just internalised that. obviously rage and anger issues like vance's lead to violence (not in all cases but in his case it does) and i think a neglectful and abusive upbringing would obviously expose him to more violence than a normal childhood would, therefore normalising it and desensitising him to it, whether he's seeing it play out in his own home and/or on television or something like that (because i doubt his parents would be the kind to monitor what content he's viewing)

i feel like he has little control over his life and that only adds to his anger, which in his case leads to a fight when his buttons are pushed too many times. i think he probably takes great pride in being the toughest in town and whatnot and winning fights and being perceived as strong and scary is good to him and helps him regain control/power, something he doesnt have at home. the rest of the quote from the interview i mentioned earlier states "this pinball machine could have been the only thing that he has in his heart that's like, good, like 'holy cow i did this, i set the score,' so when someone comes along and messes it up for him, it takes away the only thing that he has. i think that that's when he switches to a 'now you're gonna pay for that'"

similar to what i said about fighting, the pinball machine and his high score is something he has control over and its an important part of his reputation/image like. hes literally pinball vance ! and the whole thing about that high score being the "only thing he has in his heart that's good" implies that hes. well. pretty shit at everything else, which is pretty much canon if you remember that gwen said vance was held back twice in school. makes me think that while he's not the brightest in school he's certainly street smart

moving onto ermmmmm him getting kidnapped era because im sure youre wondering "well bee if he's so street smart then why did he get kidnapped" so may i raise two theories (this is. literally all i got and its not even concrete, me and my friend gray (@staggersz) tried to figure out how this could even happen and this is the most plausible thing we've got. so shoutout to him real quick he has had to deal with me being unnormal about vance for like a year and a half thanks king couldnt have done all this without my rotting buddy)

so either he got taken by surprise (most likely option) or vance's trust was gained first via getting given quarters at the pinball machine and small talk and shit like that but this is unlikely because i feel like it'd take a loooooong time for someone like vance to trust a some random stranger adult man when he clearly has issues with trusting and respecting people older than him and people with authority (e.g. cops, his parents, or school officials) so yea being taken by surprise would probably be the most realistic option, i always see people on tiktok being like "how did the grabber kidnap vance hes so strong!!!!" dude its a 15 year old boy against like. a 45 year old man who's already claimed two lives its really not gonna be a fair fight here

before i get into the next part i wanna quickly address a theory i absolutely Hate and it is so easily disproven and that is the theory that vance is the grabber's son or is related to him in some other way and i see it Far too often on tiktok and i HATE it. from what ive seen this all stems from his dream sequence where he kicks open the fence to albert's house and, presumably, goes inside after being dropped off by the police after the grab n go fight. idk if some people just straight up didnt realise this but clearly in real life he is going to his Own House??? in the dream it's only albert's house because this is how he chooses to show gwen the house she's trying to find her brother in, the house that he himself was killed in??? i hate the theory i hate it sm

the dream sequence itself is interesting though as the ghosts seem to only be able to conjure up what theyve seen in real life (like how bruce can picture the outside of the house and show that to gwen but the house number is all flipped and not right beause he doesnt know it) so vance being able to picture the house and the number and the gate and every detail would imply that hes seen it before, but im going to explain that away as either he got out once before like with finney's failed escape attempt, or the house is most likely on the route he walks to school or the grab n go or something and he hasnt actually been there prior to being kidnapped

mini rant over now onto being kidnapped i guess, so i used the missing posters to try and estimate a timeline of how long each ghost boy would've been in the basement for (although the missing posters are notoriously unreliable for details such as looks/height/age/etc, the dates seem to all line up). so we know the order is griffin, billy, vance, bruce, robin, finney, right?? if we use the poster date then billy was taken on may 4th, 1976, a month and two days after griffin was taken (april 2nd 1976). vance was taken on september 23rd 1977, almost a full year later (stay with me im going somewhere with this), and after that bruce was taken on july 18th 1978, again almost a full year later

its established in the movie that the grabber stalks his victims before he takes them (canon because we literally see the van watching finney and gwen as they walk home from school early on in the movie) but we dont know how long he does this for since griffin/billy and robin/finney were taken such short distances apart and then the others were taken such long distances apart, also it's possible he could stalk his next victim while the previous one is still alive, etc etc lots of confusing factors, but if i've done the maths right then the absolute maximum time vance could've spent down there is 9 months and 25 days, or 298 days, so erm . let that sink in !

howeverrrr in the movie gwen states that vance went missing "last spring" and september is definitely not in spring, meaning he could've been down there for a year or even longer. an explanation or excuse i could think of for the movie and the missing poster saying different things (other than the missing posters being known for some areas being wildly inaccurate) is that maybe he was taken in spring but wasnt labelled as officially missing until september, when he was properly linked to griffin and billy's similar disappearances and the mysterious grabber? i can imagine it'd be very easy for law enforcement, especially in the 70s, to dismiss someone like vance as a runaway until they get solid evidence that he was taken. idk though thats just my personal excuse / angsty headcanon for the difference in information

not sure what exactly killed him but we do hear from vance himself that "he took his time with me" so it was probably blood loss from a variety of injuries, if we look at him in his ghost scenes we can see his hair is absolutely covered in blood which indicates head injury, he clearly has a broken nose and bruising around his eyes as a result of it, he has these deep cuts on his abdomen area (apologies for the image quality but i believe they're like. sfx pieces you would wear under clothing)

and he also has just like. minor bruising (like the fingerprints on his arm) and other random blood splatters on his face and neck (assuming the blood down his neck comes from wherever he was bleeding on his head) so Yeah overall very unpleasant way to die obviously

okay now the part thats actually in the movie and it only took me 13 paragraphs to get here: vance as a ghost!! first thing i wanna point out is appearance wise i just want to say that when he's a ghost he's missing his choker and that fact Pains me. anyway personality-wise i feel like being violently murdered has, understandably, kicked his rage up to like. the highest level it could possibly go. he's insanely snarky and downright rude to finney on the phone, showing no empathy to the fact that finney is literally in the exact situation he was in

i feel like the whole "this is the nightmare end of your pathetic little life" and "if you knew what you had coming, you'd be fucking terrified" thing is definitely to scare finney on purpose and to get him to do something, vance might as well have just told him he's never going home cuz thats how it came across LMAOO, it is startling though because vance is clearly speaking from experience, that he was literally fucking terrified, and he is warning finney in his own weird way

the thing i think sets vance apart from the other ghosts is that while he does help finney, he does it for a different reason than they do. the other ghosts want finney to escape, to get out, to be free, to live, but personally i dont think vance cares about that. the only thing he wants is for albert shaw to be dead, for someone to seek vengeance, to do what vance couldn't. vance doesn't care if it's bruce or robin or finney or whatever boy could've come after that, he doesnt care as long as that man gets what he deserves after what he put vance through, and i see this through the scene at the end of vance's call where finney thanks him for his help and vance says, and i quote, "helping you? this isn't about you, fuck him! and apologies for being repetitive but to me it just literally proves that to vance, this isnt about finney or his escape, its just about revenge

we dont get to find out what happens to the ghosts once the credits have rolled, and i dont think we quite know enough about tbp's version of ghosts to guess what theyre up to, but i have a few theories :3 maybe theyre no longer bound to those two houses and they can now go anywhere they want in town? or maybe since their shared goal of stopping albert has been achieved, the ghosts can finally pass on to whatever is waiting for them next. i dont think vance would be content to pass on that quickly or easily as anger lingers, but i hope he'd be able to let go of it eventually, and hey we might find out in the sequel. i pray it mentions him cuz i will just die if it doesnt

sometimes, ok thats a lie, frequently i think about an au where he survived or escaped or whatever but ohhhh boy this post is already a train wreck so that au would deserve its own essay of a post :3 if u actually genuinely read this far then Wtf thanks for reading the ramblings of an absolute madman, only pure delusion could get like 20 paragraphs about a guy with 6 minutes screentime but hey thats how i roll, thanks again to my pal gray for letting me rot and thank u to my other pal ana for also enduring all this rot

hope u enjoyed my interpretation of vance hopper im going to crawl in a hole now and probably brainrot some more, thanks again for ur time :3

[energon-depo]

WOOO HOO CHARACTER ANALYSIS TIME this is about how optimus sees smokescreen n jack :)

(btw this my first analysis) ANYWAYS LET'S GO

just a heads up this is a LONG LONG POST to get ready! also i HAVENT SEEN THE ENDING OF PRIME YET

okay remember when ratchet said "optimus wasn't always before he was a prime -he was more like jack" AND REMEMBER HOW HE GAVE HIM THE MARTIX KEY? yeah optimus's sees a lot of former self in jack. he CLEARLY DOES same with smokescreen! the first time we saw smokescreen we knew he was a strategist, and prime knew that aswell. when smokey told him he was under the guidance of prime's MENTOR? yeah optimus knew both of them were destined for great things. all they did needed was guidance and maturity. because BOTH did something stupid that was motivated by brashness, remember when Jack was beefing with a bully? he was being immature, BUT he apologized! he took fault for his actions! same with smokey, remember when he took jack(best bros) with him to a mission? yeah well he did and he was sorry! he even apologized to acree directly knowing he scared her the most with that stunt! he didn't even blame jack for going with(he could've, and jack would have gladly took the blame)BUT HE DIDNT! these two know when their wrong and will IMMEDIATELY backpedal if they hurt anyone of their family physically or emotionally! AND THIS IS WERE WE COME TO OPTIMUS! prime knows those two have their heart and spark in the right place, heck! smokey is literally destiny's child. prime REALLY REALLY REALLY sees his former self in these two. and he treated them as EQUALS to team prime not a human child, not a rookie soldier.(could also go for how he treats miko and raf aswell, he sees their potential. miko's high comparison for other's and raf's talent in tech) so when prime gave jack the "ground bridge key"(the matrix key thing), he was confident that jack will not only keep it safe but also figure out what to do with it when the time comes. if he'd given it to let's say acree she would've probably denied it, said ratchet is a better fit due to the fact she has knowledge about it's real purpose. the OTHER reason why he gave it to jack is because; he's a kid, a Human kid, he doesn't know it's real properties. his thoughts were "optimus gave me an important job to keep the ground bridge key safe, with me. I can't let him down" It's his first real solo task! heck he even said "shouldn't ratchet have this?" but prime assured him its his task to bare. as for smokescreen? prime was THIS CLOSE to giving him the matrix. when he was in the worst shape possible and losing hope, he's (nearly) dying words was bestowing smokey with the matrix. smokescreen kept refusing he CAN'T be a prime, if he was a prime that mean optimus is dead and he doesn't want optimus to die, he's his leader, his idol, his hero. he already went out of order with coming back, and he brought optimus the forge of solang(i think? i forgot it's name it the yellow hammer) he's train of thought was "get the hammer from the cons, give to prime, prime fixes himself and its all good!"when optimus told him "the hammer must be used to fix the omega locks -the life of one is not important as the lives of many"[paraphrasing]. smokescreen stuck with his gut, his original train of thought and his compassion for his (found)family. he went out of order again putting the hammer in prime's hand REFUSING that this is the end for Optimus prime. he was rewarded with ya know prime coming back and not dying and practically saving earth basically average day for the goat smokey. i would like to also mention when smokescreen was getting chewed out by acree, prime was trying to get her to stop(no hate towards the based queen acree btw she's awesome) and when smokey stormed off he let him leave, knowing he had some reflecting he needed to do. ALSO when jack backed down from team prime, he understood that, he was upset of course he gotten attached to those humans, but he respected his opinion and didn't force him at all.

Moral of the story prime is best dad, jack and smokey are bros4life and prime team is best family(cheers)

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[wrenthewren]

ok so i havent seen anyone talk about this yet but. we know Ms. Celia Ripley. she was in TMA, she was one of the survivors in melanie and georgie's post-change cult, voiced by Lowri Ann Davies.

HOWEVER

her name wasn't originally celia, it was "lynne hammond", but she lost it in whatever domain got her and chose a new name. she actually lost a decent amount of her memory since she had previously given a statement to Martin in 2017 and doesn't remember him, but we never rly knew the extent.

anyways; since celia was not her original name and was only chosen because of the change and having her memory/identity snatched, the only reason it would really make since for her to be in tmagp is if she was somehow the same person from the changed world, either from some dimension hopping stuff or a fracture in reality (maybe she was close to jon n martin when the panopticon collapsed and got transported along with them or something if we're going with the tts is actually them, but who knows!!) but this would actually help to explain why the fuck she recognizes chester's voice and why she asks about system searches for "being buried alive" and "meat" and referencing tape recorders and and and!!!!!!!!!

maybe i'm looking too far into this but like...it seems plausible, especially if jon and martin are, in fact, trapped in the computers in one way or another

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[ghostieyanyan]

Have you heard of the musical Ride the Cyclone? I thought of an MC who’s inspired by Jane Doe. They died and lost their head somewhere so they got isekai’d into twisted wonderland with a doll head to replace their lost one instead and they walk around with their headless doll. They have no memory of who they used to be and they’re very naive about how things work in the new world they’re transported to. If anyone of the boys goes Yandere for Jane Doe!Mc, any one of the would take advantage of their amnesia and keep them to theirselves. Which one of the boys do you think would be the most manipulative when it comes to stealing Jane Doe!Mc?

If you don’t know the musical, feel free to skip.

i havent seen the musical, but i love the idea of just some twst yandere taking advantage of amnesia mc. like they would use mc to make them their perfect little play thing or "help" them find themselves, only to hurt them with betrayal. also i know that a good handfull of the twst characters are sadistic but im gonna just list a few (cause if i went their all of them, qwq, this will be a very long post xD)

Also there’s only one drawing in this post (because it felt weird not not include one so ye) but it’s mainly fanfic and I’ll be labeled it as fanfic and not as fanfic plus art… if that’s cool owo

~Amnesia!Mc~

Yan!Ace x mc x Yan!Deuce

Yan!Lilia x mc

Yan!Rook x mc

Yan!Trey x mc

Warning: yandere, manipulation, stalking, threats, hint of murder, mention of war and starvation, hunting, displaying you like a animal(?), kidnapping,

~~~~~

Ace and Deuce

Why are these two together? cause they are chaotic together and i love how it can be wholesome at times.

In the relationship, they both agreed to help mc and also show them the ropes of twisted wonderland. Deuce, more on the side of helping mc with finding themself, because he understands how it can be very difficult at times. But he also doesn't want mc to go home so soon. Ace, more on the side of wanting mc to stay in twisted wonderland, but also help them find themself with him and deuce in mind. They basically agreed to be the opposite sides to the same coin.

They'll, of course, fight with each other on how to help you. what thing are most important for you to work on right now? but they overall want the same thing. but they are still very mischievous when they want to be.

Example, Ace will in intentional start fights with deuce to show mc that they'll be so lost without you to step in to help. or even, when they get into a situation that they need your help to solve.

"only their perfect can save them. don't leave them alone. they'd be lost without you."

But deuce, he would show you the amazing things that twisted wonderland could offer and see if you like anything or dislike it. i imagine he has a book with all your like and dislikes, your taste, favorite food and drinks, how you like certain things or your hobbies. plus if you forget anything, he'll be there to help.

if someone outside their group ask about their strange behavior with you, they will deny it all. but if this person keeps digging, ace and deuce will show them how protective they can be.

if you asked about their strange behavior, they'll just tell you that you're imagining things.

"maybe its some of your old memories coming back? but they don't make sense? strange..."

~~~~~

Lilia

"Awww what a cute little human that lost their way~ it reminds me of when i met Silver~ so cute~"

this man will 100% use your amnesia to make you into his play thing. he could mold you into a sibling for Silver. he could mold you into a great warrior for malleus, side by side with sebek. or he can even mold you to be his and his alone.

with his years of experience of life, he'll show you anything you wish to see and make your dreams come true. he'll tell you stories, a mix between fairy tales to myths to his very own experiences. he'll show you everything and anything, for the price of your name~

he's given you no reason on not to trust him. Lilia takes great care of you when you first came to his world. i mean with tweedldee and tweedledumber, plus that beast cat, you'll likely be dead by the first week.

Lilia takes every opportunity to take you away to diasomnia and cares for you. with a high secured castle plus luxury food, he tried to feed you his meet one time and you fell into a coma for a week... maybe the vegs were bad?

if you had an issue with this arrangement, he'll gladly show you the dangerous of this world without his aid. he'll show you a small unimportant war that was just west coast of the main land. all the deaths and threats, the horrors in peoples faces. how some people became mad and turn against their own kind for a glimpse of hope in their future, only for it to be ripe away when they get caught. Lilia will also show you the horror that are not necessarily violent like war. hungry starving kids and families that had to turn to stealing just to make sure they're guaranteed a place in tomorrow. he'll tell you that the cycle repeats whether people like it or not.

"That's why its safer to be with me. the world is a cruel place, a place that a sweet angel like you doesnt belong. this place also has a good handful of cueal people aswell. youre not even garentee that crowel will find a way home for you, he doesnt even know that place! thats why its safer with me. ill keep you safe. now rest... youve had a very long day..."

~~~~~

Rook

the beauty of it all! To Rook, you are like a blank piece of paper waiting for a poet to spill their silk words on you. you're like a caterpillar waiting for some leaves to turn into a chrysalis and then to your turn form as a beautiful butterfly~

Rook doesn't have any ill intent for you but he merely aims to preserve your pure innocents. in his words, keep your angelic wings white from the impurities of the world. he will not hesitate to strike down anything or any one that wants you to fall, or cover your wings in their mud.

he admits, its difficult to learn anything about you when you don't even remember who you are, but in a way its beautiful for him. like a bird learning how to fly.

if you ask him about his view on beauty, he'll gladly show you all the beauties in the world. hell show you how some things look scary or mysterious can look enchanted. but if anything ugly comes in your way, he'll shield you from it and make it disappear on the face of twisted wonderland.

if you dont like what hes doing and you try to run from him.. lets say Rook loves a good hunt. He will not stop until he finds his butterfly. of course, he doesn't want to hurt you, or even dirty you in any means, but he will threaten you. Rook would say that if anything bad would happen to you, to not have the light in your eyes that he loves so much, he'll display you like those beautiful insect display in a museum. you'll forever be part of his display from his hunts.

but you dont want that to happen right? he wants you to live! to fly with the other butterflies.

but maybe Night Raven College is no place for a fragile butterfly like you to be in. he doesnt might taking you away for only his eyes to see. he'll take great care of you.

"what do you say~?"

~~~~~

Trey

Whether Trey likes it or not, he takes great care of his dorm, like a big brother or even a dad for some. so when he saw you, his instict took over and he immediately was worried for you.

"did you eat yet? how's your day? anyone giving you a hard time? are ace and deuce causing trouble for you? you look pale! come on, follow me. we have some treats in Heartslabyul that will make you feel better"

to say he spoils you with sweets is an understatement, and if you are craving sweets then he'll gladly make you something else. don't worry about repaying him. you're smile and well being are perfect payment.

even though Trey has a very busy schedule, being the vice housewarden, being part of the science club, taken care of his house, plus riddle, he still makes time for you.

a lot of people wonders how but like magic, he makes it works. for some, its a little creepy. Trey starts to show up, like he knows your schedule like the back of his hand. always with treats and a drink in hand.

if there are people causing you trouble, or in trey's eyes, people he does not approves of. he'll tell you in a "im just looking out for you manner."

Trey will get you, sit you down, hands you some treats and talks to you about his "issues" with your friends. he might just say some things that make you see your friends in a different light. the type of light that makes you not rely on them too much. But you can rely on Trey if anything comes up.

also whether he sees you in the light of a sibling or a partner, you're not 100% sure which one. but all the things he does for you... is coming from the heart..

~~~~~

[noctilu-uca]

Rei Amayado and Love.

fgghhgggghhh....

Ok so ik there are a lot of unknowns about rei and honestly im no where near qualified enough to talk about ANY of the hypmic characters in the detail im about to go. But i like to think i know a decent amount of info and lore to make a good assumption. I could be totally wrong about some things soo pllleeeaassseeee dont take me entirely seriously

But the conversation between rei and nayuta confirmed a lot of things for me. A lot of things i was speculating that i havent really seen anyone else talk about

In the drama track, rei comes to the realization that he lets himself shoulder everything despite having the support that he could turn to rely on. Even when nayuta was still awake and with him, he had the bad habit of pushing everything onto himself.

The line that really stood out to me was nayuta asking if he was going to play the villain, to which he responds with a curt "yes" and this. Right there. Is exactly what ive been thinking this entire time.

Its really nothing new that ohhh rei is the bad guy hes morally grey hes hurt people You Shouldnt Really Trust Him. And rosho denounces all of that with pushing sasara to think "who is he really?" now i know that whole portion was supposed to lead sasara into his own growth but seriously. Who is rei? They knew he was a conman, they knew he was shady, unserious, and pushed things off. But rosho says that it was just a persona he built up, and hes correct.

We all knew rei was a deeper character than they let on, it was obvious to us, but not to them. Though its still kinda funny sasaro just said "yeah we guessed" when he said he was bb's father LMAOAOAOAOA not slick at all... but anyways where am i going with this ?

Rei has quite obviously put up a persona to the people around him. He doesnt want to be suspected, he doesnt want people knowing too much about him. So he pretends. That whole comical uncle spiel was just a means of hiding from everyone, and most importantly, himself. I dont think he really wants to face his reality. Of course he takes responsibility and is *painfully* aware of it, but he doesnt seem like he wants to accept it. Now im mostly talking about nayuta here, in the dt he said he would do basically whatever it took to keep nayuta by his side when she mentioned her not being there anymore. And what is he doing now? Keeping her comatose body on publicly unknown island to protect her, and watch over her state.

What about his kids? As far as im aware theres no reason we were given for him leaving bb. Hes accepted the fact hes nolonger an important part of their lives, sure hes important to a degree, but not in a parental way. Im sure its fair to assume he left bb around the time nayuta was sent comatose. So what i think: he left for their own safety.

He left them to make sure they wouldnt get wrapped up in the politics he did. Their mother got hurt, whose to say chuuohku wouldnt target his children next? They knew what was important to him, so he forced himself to think of them as unimportant. He left them so they wouldnt meet the same fate, nayuta is gone, he cant have her children following.

But that was when they were young. Now that they are more grown, things have changed. They are drb participants, and isnt the whole point of the drbs to train potential true hypnosis mic users? Those mics? The mics that kill users? Why would he allow that? I personally think that its just a matter of "they are grown, they can make their own decisions." mixed with "they could possibly survive it and help me create nayutas ideal world."

Even before the 2nd drb, dont you think it was odd how he randomly came to jirosabu one day and revealed that he was their father? What were the motives? Ive always interpreted it as him helping them in his own odd way. He knew their bonds were strong, so maybe if he gives them a challenge, he could strengthen those bonds while simultaneously pushing himself away. Which woah !! Exactly what he did. Jiro got some really good character developmemt out of that one, and bb started resenting him even more. Keeping them together is his goal, afterall its all they have.

So he got what he wanted. He pushed those that he loved and cherished away to protect them from his issues. So... Whats up with sasara and rosho? Notoriously, he told them almost nothing about himself. But with this new dt he revealed EVERYTHING. A new level of intimacy for our current time rei. He was vulnerable with them, when he was so used to makimg other vulnerable.

I think his relationship with sasaro is very healing for him. For all of them, actually, both he and sasara have a tendency to push others away for either their protection, or his own protection. And rosho is a catalyst of "thats so stupid wtf" and is essentially helping them find themselves after he found his own self.

Of course human growth is always happening, rosho is no where near done growing. As we see in the dt he is growing right in front of us, gaining more confidence in himself. And sasara and rei are still so far from really allowing themselves to grow. In a way, they are ashamed for their lack of growth. Sasara getting antsy over the fact rosho pointed out his habit of never getting involved. And rei reflecting back on nayuta when he just got done actively pushing sasaro away. Nayuta was the only person who *actually* forced him to think of different perspectives and not rot in his own.

While nayuta is gone, sasara and rosho are good stand ins. Will he love them like he loved her ?? NO !!! That man is a wife lover through and through. But theres one thing about hypmic that i absolutely adore, and its their utilization of platonic love. Rei is slowly learning to cherish sasara and rosho just as they are him. Its obvious sasaro already cherish and love each other on some level, with sasara immediately thinking of roshos dreams when met with his own to start comedy with him again. He didnt want to enroach on roshos new found identity. And rosho, pushing sasara to find his own new identity. And so many more examples.

But with rei, he stopped himself from cherishing and loving, keeping himself in the past where the only person he has ever, truly, loved with his whole heart resided. So when met with two people who had a bond like he once did, he stayed stagnant and kept himself where he was. That was, until they forced him not to.

So who is rei? Rei amayado, Rei yamada. I think he is a man that loves, truly loves.

Everything that he does was done from a place of care. Was he perfect? No. Not at all. Ramuda exists now, but to him that was a side point in getting nayuta back, and creating their shared world. He did it for nayuta, everything for nayuta. Because he loved her. And absolutely still does. He did it for his children, because in some way he still cares. Even if he acts like he doesnt. And now he is continuing on for his strengthening bonds with sasara and rosho, because they are giving him a chance to recount himself, and find out who he wants to be in his future. He isnt done living despite his old age, he has so much more to do and figure out, things he thought he could only do with nayuta by his side. Of course he wants her back, desperately, he truly thought she would never leave him. But now she has, and even though she isnt with him, he has the opportunity to restart with sasara and rosho. And hopefully be a changed man when nayuta comes back.

Rei, no matter what name he takes, is a man who loves, and will continue loving.

[boxheadpaint]

diary post baby. Heavier than usual or at least probably but i dont know or remember a good portion of the things ive ever said about myself on this line. For the normal guys though i had fun making that comic, usually when i get the motivation to make anything in that format i get pretty bummed about it pretty quickly simply because of the paneling

its fun to imagine making dynamic pages of comic panels, but when you have no experience beyond trying to make manga in your teens you mostly just have the squares/rectangles stacked next to eachother. for anyone else this is fine and isnt boring to look at by its nature alone, but for me i always believe that my own work would be too dull and unexciting to eye-catching to even bother reading. trying to just lose that pressure i give myself for a day and make something silly like some animals looking at eachother is nice

one of the things i kept hearing from my own head during the call about The Good News Of Getting Disability Income And Payment For The Time I Wasn't Recieving Benefits, was that i needed to kill myself for some reason. my body reacts badly to experiencing a lot of things, though of course its worst when its negative feelings. not even particularly strong ones, maybe a little nervous or a little mad and it likes to tremble or tense up totally. i dont know why exactly i reacted in this particular way other than the usual "what do you mean i dont need to freak out about this anymore. what am i going to do with all this freaking out juice? just chug it?"

im worried lately that ive built up too much of a tolerance to my sertraline, if thats something that happens. but i dont know for sure, and i dont know what ill do if that is the case. maybe it is still working and i just cant tell because even though its bad things would be much worse if i stopped taking it. it just feels like these days it doesnt do anything to help me feel better or more in control. can i speedrun making it work again by going cold turkey for a week and then getting back on it so my brain is like wow this awfulness stopped after i took this awesome pills.

can i give the money i recieve from social security to someone else to save? is that legal? or do they hunt you down for sport for doing that. what if you wanted to buy a house. or rent a house. Or just fucking live somewhere because these days prices are fucking absurd. ridiculous even.

hey girl, rat piss. hey girl, rat piss. I realize other than the blue puppy video i havent posted anything for pride. partly of anxieties of course, especially given the Great track record of the site withing the past month, but also straight up forgetfulness. I keep forgetting too many things and being too tired to remember. At night though i can do just about anything. I think ill take a nap and then wake up at 2 am to keep drawing. I have things to draw

6/24/2024

[aquaquadrant]

literally just zoomed through yalls htp au and i havent seen anyone talk about it but i find it SO interesting how Bravo, who is supposed to be the GOOD overworlder, is rather prideful and honestly just a dick while Tango, supposedly his EVIL counterpart, is just the sweetest guy. i cant imagine how Tango is derived from the worst parts of Bravo, if im understanding hels correctly. Tango is such a good person, while Bravo is rude to everyone with the worst attitude. it was just something i picked up so quickly. if the universe put him in hels in the first place, there must be a reason why the universe swapped his place with his overworld counterpart.

on another note! with the release of secret life, and what we've seen so far, how do you think htp!tango would fare in this new killing game? i cant help but imagine that with the entire gimmick being keeping secrets that he would be rather stressed, knowing he had hidden stuff from his friends already-- lying doesnt make him feel like a good person (but he isnt supposed to be that, some small part of him is whispering, knowing hes from hels, is all of the "bad" parts of bravo)

anyways! this is all i will be able to think of for the rest of the week /vpos and i hope you (and everyone who may be reading this at any given time) have a great rest of spooky month!

well THANK YOU this was a lovely message to receive, and i’m glad you’re enjoying the au ^^

i’ve talked a little bit about this here and there, but i’ll never pass up the chance to ramble more. there are a few key things about bravo and tango that make them different from the average overworld-hels pair.

ANALYSIS/RAMBLE BELOW

first off, most of what we’ve seen of tango has been set during double life, which is ten years after he escaped hels, so he’s had ten years of growth. we see very little of him before this, and in those scenes he’s got the benefit of being largely alone. the only player he interacts with is xisuma, who tango immediately realizes he needs to ‘trick.’ so his interaction with x in part one isn’t how tango would’ve interacted with virtually any other player in hels at that time.

we see from the flashback in part five that younger pre-hels tek tango was borderline feral- he chose to attack atlas on sight instead of trying to hide, or leave before he was seen, or even see why atlas was there. now, atlas wins him over fairly quickly because tango is young and naive and secretly craving positive interaction, but even in that brief interaction tango is a bit more prideful than his older self. that, of course, got beaten out of him at hels tek.

bravo, on the other hand, we follow closely during his ten years in hels. when he first arrives in part two, he’s a little snide and privately judgemental, sure, but he starts out perfectly decent towards timmy. he tries to maintain that civility and ‘niceness’ as he interacts with more and more hels players, but gradually loses his willpower as he gets beaten down and frustrated, even losing his temper. and after he fully snaps and gets his first kills, he all but abandons the notion of being ‘nice’, though privately he still thinks of himself as inherently better than hels players (atlas’s manipulation certainly doesn’t help matters, either).

but perhaps the biggest point is to look at what traits tango actually got from bravo, and that would be his rage. bravo is most similar to tango when he’s angry; his first little temper tantrum in part two is where it’s best illustrated, because all instances after that have been influenced by his time in hels. but you’ll notice that we have yet to see tango truly angry in the HTP series (he did revert back to an almost feral mindset when the ranch got attacked, but that was an instinctive defense mechanism. there was no conscious thought behind those decisions, and they were purely fueled by fear, not anger). that will be where his ‘hels’ really shines through.

there’s one other bravo trait amplified in tango that i haven’t revealed yet. it’s something that tango has figured out how to sort of ‘mask’ via other more acceptable coping mechanisms- if you can call it that- and actually forms a fairly significant part of his personality. stay tuned :3

as for secret life, it’d be a complicated situation for sure. on one hand, their goals are less outright malicious- just complete the tasks and try to survive (at least for now). in a way, it almost takes away accountability for their actions if they turn out to be harmful- “i had to, it was my secret task!” so that’s nice to fall back on. but still, tango would be very on edge. not only with the discomfort of having to lie to his friends, but never knowing if they’re lying to him, too. boi’s got them trust issues fr.

[daydrinking75]

fuck off i just wana get high of prescription medication so my back stops hurting and not participate in society. cant i just DO things? without the weight of having a future and fighting for to keep it. its not that im being forced to, but its my only option. i dont think its worth dying yet, theres nothing to die over really; the cumulative experience of 20 years really is nothing in the grand scheme of things. i have an idea of who i could be, and id like to see that person and be that person, but i can only do so if i keep living. and living means work. it takes a lot of work to live. and that makes me just wana kill myself because why is life--something thats upheld on this stupid pedestal and considered "good"--so damn painful? to me anyway. thats the unfortunate thing, i can only experience the universe through myself. these things are only painful to me, in the sense that without myself present, there wouldn't ve anyone in pain. and the world wold continue to exist. "painful" really just means inconvenient. then again, maybe i just havent felt real pain. im a white girl complaining on the internet with fancy words--i know how it sounds. and even then, pain beyond my understanding is just an extreme inconvenience beyond my understanding. it doesnt devalue it though, what was gained and lost from the pain doesnt go away just because it's a pest. thats the opposite of what they do. some people have wasp nests in their brain. some people clean them out, some let them fester--some people have butterflies (how wonderful that must be), ants, spiders--things of an infestive nature. they accumulate over time, its up to you how to handle it. its a responsibility, to live. to ensure to properly treat the environment of infectents. and ive always struggled to care. to give a fuck. i just dont. for whatever reason, on principle, i couldnt be bothered with responsibility. but i am by the suffering it brings. and the eventual suffocation--forget falling figs, i feel like im watching termites devour my future because of my conscious neglect. i cant stand it. and im sure this is a common occurrence. but i dont have a "will to live" i have a will to become, and the only way to do that is to stay alive long enough for me to understand and grow myself into someone worth dying next to. because im unable to become something when i die, thats all i am, dead. and all the blood and tears and trauma that comes with that concept. but in my experience life is full of that anyway, and the only thing that sets apart the "big sleep" is the act of ending life. it just stops. its a given that im agnostic--i wish i believed in a god that loved me, people often seem happier when they have divine love, even if it hurts others--and for me heaven isnt a place i'll find after i die. hell might be, but that doesnt change the fact that the afterlife remains provably defined as a variable. an entity of limitless possibilities, including nothing at all. the only thing thats known for sure is that its not this, its not life. otherwise it wouldn't end so abruptly. so life and death are antithetical and interchangeable; just two different states of existence. its not by any fault of its own that death is so painful; its a function, a process, it will execute its purpose regardless of if it hurts someone or not. unfortunately all things living, including people, are those who deal with the hurt. no one finds the things that hurt them appealing. well, thats a lie. if you know you know. lets say its at the very least impractical; if you want to live, why would you be attracted towards death? what a wonderful question. its a shame i dont have the answer. i have speculations, educated guesses, impulsive thoughts, but its about time i circle back to the point im trying, flimsily, to make; its impossible to live without thinking. without engaging in life. in society. in people. its those things that give us substance; reality is precious because its uncontrollable, daydreams wont ever compare. so maybe the unknown isnt so scary. its different.

[themolluscasometimes]

(if you havent seen dmeon slayer s3 or read the mange this has spoilers)

okay no but look-

who tf. gave genya a sword an told him to go to final selection

It's stated that Genya calmed down and mellowed out after getting Gyomei to train him. ALSO he got mega buff between when we see him at final selection and when he see him next like yeah he obviously had a growth spurt but the point is he went from scrawny to brawny. He was also a giant asshole at final selection so like. Genya 100% only got trained by gyomei after passing final selection.

Which MEANS either someone ELSE sent a kid that cant use breathing to final selection with a sword OR he got himself there. I dont believe anyone wouldve willingly sent him given how important breathing is to the demon slayer corp

also. The only trainers we really see are hashira or former hashira. Im SO convinced there are other that we don't see given that not every water breather couldve been taught by Urokodaki but it still makes sense that these teachers are retired professional demon slayers that lived long enough to be no longer in active service even if they aren't hashira

which leaves us with options:

OPTION 1:

genya tried to learn breathing from a cultivator/some other demon slayer, failed, stole a nichirin sword and probably shook the poor sod down to get info on the when and where for final selection

OPTION 1a

When the person who tried to teach breathing to Genya refused to continue after finding out he cant Breathe Right, said teacher was too strong for genya to really do anything about it (see: they're teaching him and it seems likely that the teachers of demon slayer tend to be upper ranked at least) Genya fucked off and assaulted some weak random demon slayer to steal a sword from and get info

Or, you know, something along these lines because he had to get a nichirin sword and infomraiton from somewhere, and Im doubtful it was willingly given to him since he like. cant fucking breathe.

HOWEVER

when we see him at the end of final selection, he's like. mega obsessed with the sword thing. like. super. like yes these are special swords but here's the thing everyone there already has one of the special swords, just not one of their own.

It kinda maybe implies that Genya. Doesnt have a special sword. So.

OPTION TWO:

Genya has been roughing it with a regular ass sword for seven days and given that he can't Breathe his primary form of defense would've been step one: cut the demons arm off. step two: monch. step three: beat the demon to within an inch of its life with demon enhanced brute strength until he can get away or force it die in the sun.

In which case Genya was not likely to be doing much direct demon slaying during those seven days.

(even if he HAD a nichirin sword theres no guarantee that without breathing he wouldve been strong enough or skilful enough to use it to kill all the demons he ran across but given how obsessed and intense he is with getting his hands on a nichirin blade and how much not one single person would want him to go to final selection, i honestly think he had just some random sword. It would explain why he's so desperate to get one, other than being generally unhinged. Anyway-)

While everyone else was roughing it, surviving and slaying demons in the night, Genyas experience of the final selection exam was somewhere between a survival challenge and an all you can eat buffet, with not a lot of demon slaying involved.

can u imagine being part of his cohort and running across some dude that needs you to cut off this demons head thats missing a suspicious amount of its body bc he doesnt have a nichirin sword for some fucking reason. also he has really, really, fucked up eyeballs.

can you imagine watching one of your fellow exam participants use a sword only to defend himslef bc its a functionally useless offense only to attack by eating the fucking demons.

can you imagine seeing him at one point, looking a certain way bc hes been eating a demon and then seeing him again later looking human. or looking like a different demon. or both.

can u imagine struggling to feed yourself during these seven days and this man is having a straight up feast. and also couldnt be assed to show up with a sword for demonslaying to the exam for fucking demon slaying

[p1x1x]

O o o o o can you describe the dynamics between Insight and Maya that you use? 😌

i initially didnt wanna answer this bc i am trying to explore this a little bit through lagrange and insight art but 😔😔 i’m very slow and impatient . and honestly i havent fully fleshed out everything so i might as well word vomit here. subject to change in the future, but for now…

what initially draws insight to maya is what maya represents to her. this “love” she has for people, for worlds, for what’s left behind, also extended towards maya. it didnt feel quite “romantic” and felt more like a “god loves all” vibe to me at first. but insight’s heart has never been set so aflame to this extent, so she’s really into “inspecting” maya…

personally i think there’s some different intention as to why insight, and let’s be real, pretty much assaulted maya (i honestly dont know if you’re allowed to say the actual terms here but i dont want to try tumblr lol). not that whatever intention would make it okay irl (that should be a given) but as far as the minds of fictional characters go—this sort of abstractish idea she’s been chasing is finally before her. after watching from afar for so long, she finally has something tangible, a form to work with…

(but then again, maybe she is just a gay freak yk. Damn they really wrote that in!!!! but yeah i like to think she’s making sure maya was “real”… in a way that was super weird. who can stop her though she’s got god-like powers…)

i like to think the “unraveling” nature that both maya and lagrange experience are the same… that everyone’s “construction” here is made up of glass—very, very fine glass thread. it’s one of the laws of arcaea, maybe, in the same way atoms make up our world… or something like that. anyway, while it probably happened just because insight was doing some fuckery with her powers and pulling her out of arcaea (and thus outside the laws of arcaea)… the idea of breaking something down to its very base construction seems like something insight would do to get to know this real, natural wonder of a miracle. nothing like the artificial miracles made by fellow seekers : P

i haven’t really seen anyone talk about it anywhere… but insight finding the making of miracles by her (or presumably any other seeker’s) hands unsettling is Interesting to me… enough to leave to search… it’d feel like it’d make sense if she just thought it was “boring” given her dramatic nature, but it’s discomforting. yet she loves other worlds, other things left by dead creators and im just. Wondering why… maybe bc i make stuff i think its an odd view and im probably really delusional right now considering i think she is set up to be an antagonist to arcaea or whatever and Oh look they’re starting to converge character stories together haha.

(i think this is a point of interest between lagrange and insight… insight might question the “honesty” of these miracles, could they even call them “miracles?” but in a jabby way… but lagrange’s line of thinking to me is “nothing happens without reason” even applied to “miracles”: that in their god-like state, of course miracles would be something that’s just made, it’d feel like a miracle to humans anyway…)

(so perhaps it’s the “certainty” of it all that she finds discomfort in, the rigidity that comes with a song, a lullaby, a Prediction… and why she loves arcaea for its uncertainty, fragility, birth from Emotion rather than logical structure (lagrange did say arcaea lacked intelligent design lololol) she still finds looking at the creations of other things fascinating but arcaea is truly something different in this universe…)

Tangent aside back to shikimaya: insight loves maya for what she is. i do like to think she’d try to find out everything about her (hobbies… singing? what else might maya like?) but the way she wants to know feels so separated as a person if that makes any sense? it doesnt make the love any less real its just Really weird. but she loves wholly!! i dont think she’d ever stop loving!!! truly fascinated!!!!

as for maya -> insight… maya is scared as fuck at first but it’s like. Hey i did wish for pain. and despair. it’s not like the guilt went away when she decided to walk the path of light. she did find understanding with those sad memories after all, now familiar in certain despair… but its never said what form insight keeps maya in when she takes her, so i just assumed she’s still in that string state… without her physical senses in tact, it feels like she’s barely existing in a void (like lagrange in the End). but its not by her own will, so there’s the fear factor adding onto losing all sense of time. the only thing that could come by in this state is insight herself—so for her own sanity she clings to her presence, otherwise she’d just have to be there as a… string of consciousness… she uncomfortably likes insight at some point (there is nothing she can do so. brain might as well try to feel Somewhat Fine with it. Copium. at least insight would never hate her (she has shown nothing of the sort ever)

really weird codependency (on one side at least) yuri to me. i dont know anymore .i like to make stuff up. i need to sleep

[risetherivermoon]

thoughts on rosechaser?

ohh my god, yes

i love them, though i havent given them much thought as i have with other james & evan ships, theyre still adorable,

heres kinda the way i see them? idk how to explain it so this is kinda in a monologue type format:

Evan isn’t entirely used to people being that gentle and nice with him. He’s not used to kindness in general. He’s the Rosier heir for merlins sake, why would he? He’s seen as intimidating, since being a part of a fairly renowned pureblood family makes him. He doesn’t particularly try to change how people see him either.

Not because hes overly confident or that it’s correct, but because Evan is too tired to try with any of it. He doesn’t want to interact with anyone else anyway, he’s fine with being somewhat of a sidekick to either Regulus or Barty’s antics. He knows that he’s never seen as “Evan” but as “The Rosier’s Son” or “Crouch and Black’s Friend.” He’s aware that given how loud and big Barty is, and how well known and smart Regulus is that he won’t ever get the spotlight for himself, and honestly he doesn’t care about that all much. He’s fine with not being his own person. He holds no resentment for his friends because of this, he’s happy to step aside and watch them instead of getting involved. He isn’t used to getting help or kindness offered to him, he isn’t used to getting love without repercussions.

James isn’t used to being seen as more than a perpetual force of positivity. He’s not used to people noticing when he’s down, because he uses his postivity as a shield. If he ignores the feelings they’ll go away.

Because James wants to help all of his friends with their problems, he needs to help them and support them. Sometimes this means disregarding his own wellbeing and James is fine with that, he’s fine not getting any of this attention reciprocated. Because he doesn’t have it as bad as the others, who have their issues and their anxieties. Remus with being a werewolf, Sirius with his family, Peter with his worries…everyone else. They all have problems that James can help with and he gladly will. He will gladly be an anchor for everyone he knows. Maybe it feels tolling sometimes, and maybe he wishes everyone would see that he’s being effected, maybe even his parents…but James knows that it’s because he doesn’t let them see it, and then he remembers why he does it and the thoughts stop.

Maybe these are the reasons why Evan Rosier was so surprised by James Potter offering to help him find a book in the library, and why James started to wave to him him in the halls. Maybe all of this is why James was so shocked by Evan checking up on him, by him noticing the things that James is scared of. James finally feels like he can lay himself out to someone and they’ll accept him, and Evan finally feels like he’s his own person, like he’s noticeable and worthy of being noticied. Maybe this is why everything started to work out for them, because they had eachother.

honestly this is making me want to write more of them… but this is what ive got! i hope that was understandable. ive recently been really intrigued by Evans character, ive been writing a moonrose fic thats evan centric (and pretty angsty) so its been helping me understand him a bit more, if that makes sense??

anyways, thank you for the ask :D I love the two of them, and their ship is really cute