#why would they do this to hurt me specifically

[niilue]

—when you can't resist it and you spank vi—

cw: fem reader, funny and silly situation, drabble, mention of spank, vi ashamed.

ekko's hiding place was relatively quiet, except for the sound of metal tools clinking and the occasional scattered conversation. you’d been wandering around, trying to find something useful to do, but your attention kept drifting toward vi.

she was bent over a table, working on her gauntlets as usual. her movements were meticulous and focused, and the furrow in her brow made it clear she was completely absorbed in her task. her jacket rested on a nearby chair, leaving her fitted tank top on display, highlighting the defined lines of her shoulders and muscles.

but it wasn’t her tank top that caught your attention—it was her pants. vi always wore those long, dark pants, snug and fitted, as if they were made specifically for her. the way they clung to her body, outlining every curve, was almost mesmerizing.

and now, with her leaning over the table, all her weight resting on her arms, the fabric stretched in a way that made everything stand out even more. you couldn’t help but notice how the curve of her backside was perfectly outlined, firm and athletic.

for a moment, a mischievous spark ignited in your mind, growing quickly into a reckless idea.

"why not?" you thought to yourself, a sly grin spreading across your face.

you crept up behind her, careful not to make a sound on the metal floor. vi didn’t even notice your presence, too focused on adjusting some mechanism on her gauntlet.

the opportunity was perfect. without giving it too much thought, you raised your hand and delivered a slap to her backside so loud it echoed across the hideout, causing a few nearby heads to turn in surprise.

the impact made vi’s backside jiggle slightly, the material of her pants rippling briefly from the force before snapping back into place.

“WHAT THE FUCKKK?!” vi shouted, straightening up so fast she nearly knocked over the table. her hand immediately flew to her backside as she whipped around to face you, her expression a mix of shock and rage.

her cheeks, normally pale, were now tinged with a deep red, the flush crawling up her neck. you couldn’t help it—you burst into laughter, bending over as you tried to catch your breath.

“sorry, sorry!” you managed to say between giggles, though your tone was anything but apologetic. “i couldn’t resist!”

vi stared at you, her blue eyes wide with disbelief. she looked as though she was trying to process what had just happened, her mouth opening and closing like she couldn’t quite find the words. finally, she pointed a shaky finger at you.

“what the hell makes you think that was a good idea?!” she demanded.

“well…” you began, shrugging with a playful grin. “with those pants and that pose, you were practically begging for it.”

vi’s jaw dropped. her hands fell to her hips as she stared at you, clearly caught between laughing and yelling. she opted for yelling.

“begging for it? are you kidding me?! it hurt, you idiot!”

“Ah, come on, vi,” you said, trying to soften the moment. “it was a little token of affection.”

“that wasn't affection! that was a fucking attack,” she retorted, twitching slightly as if the sting was still present.

"i honestly didn't think it would move that much. it was the highlight of my day.” you replied, unable to keep a smile off your face.

“SHUT UP!” vi snapped, her voice cracking slightly as her blush deepened. her hands moved to cover her backside defensively, as if to shield it from another ambush.

“is it still stinging?” you asked, feigning innocence. “or was it just a really good hit?”

vi’s hands slowly dropped to her sides as she narrowed her eyes at you, her face now an unmistakable shade of red. for a moment, you thought she might lunge at you, but instead, she took a deep breath, her shoulders visibly tensing.

“get ready to run,” she growled, her voice dangerously low. “because when i catch you, you’re not walking away from this.”

“is that a challenge?” you teased, taking a step back.

“no,” vi said, her tone chilling. “it’s a damn promise.”

before you could say another word, vi started moving toward you. you did the only sensible thing: you bolted.

your laughter echoed through the hideout as vi chased after you, her growls of frustration barely audible over your hysterical giggling. you knew you were in trouble, but you couldn’t stop thinking about her flustered, embarrassed expression.

totally worth it.

[weemietime]

https://www.tumblr.com/weemietime/767670429687152640?source=share

I suppose it was easy for me to fall into the Hamasnik trap due to my habit of black and white thinking, which I wish I could blame on my autism, my ocd, or my horrible mental state, but I’m just incredibly stupid lol. But yeah, I was very much a hamasnik myself.

For some reason my mind refused to accept or recognise the nuance of a history that I wasn't even well versed on in the first place. I also think that the constant reductionism presented to me played a part. There’s a lot of reductionism that goes on within the Hamasnik circles, and it goes hand in hand with anti intellectualism. Statements like “this isn’t complex! How can you see these videos of these Palestinian children (videos that I later found out were actually from Syria, but I couldn’t tell, I just ate it up) and think that Israel/Palestine is complex!”

The whole thing of blocking everyone who has a different opinion or ideology (the ideology in question being Zionism, or at least what hamasniks consider to be Zionism) from you and refusing to follow certain news channels because they’ve shown sympathy for those who have a different ideology from you, refusing to read certain books from authors who have expressed empathy for those same people, all of this together effectively creates an echo chamber of the same opinions and views being regurgitated over and over and over again constantly.

Then sprinkle in constant videos of people dying and blood everywhere, videos that you don’t even know where the people are from, whether they be from Gaza, from Syria, Lebanon, or Yemen, but it doesn’t matter because they speak Arabic so it MUST be about the Gazans specifically according to the Hamasnik group you’re apart of, all of these videos you’re being told to constantly watch over and over again because according to the Hamasnik cult you’re in, “if you look away from the violence even ONCE, you’re complicit in genocide! You’re personally responsible for genocide if you look away! The people in Gaza never get a mental health break or comfort so why should you?”

That very same rhetoric is the reason why a lot of you Jewish people can’t find yourself able to escape on fandom spaces and shit like that, the antisemitism you encounter in spaces you thought you were safe in? Yeah it’s because these people are being told that they have to constantly talk about what’s going on in every single space they’re in and that they can’t look away because if they do, they’re considered complicit in the killing of Gazans so they have to let everyone else know the same.

There are a lot of people who are purposefully antisemitic, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me excusing anyone. I’m just saying that a number of these people genuinely believe that they’re doing something for the greater good by constantly being antisemitic. They don’t consider themselves antisemitic because the echo chamber they’re in has convinced them that Jewish people aren’t experiencing anything, that Jewish people are fine. That it’s the “big bad” that they’re hurting, not the Jews. It’s the “big and scary Zionists!” At least that’s what happened in my case. Constantly told that if I took a break even once, the blood of the Gazans, the blood of every. single. person in Gaza, would be on my own two hands.

You might not believe me, but when you’ve trapped a person in an echo chamber like that, it’s very easy to convince them that an entire country is evil, that every single Israeli is wicked and corrupt and should die and that anyone who expresses an ounce of empathy for them is a “Zionist” and should die as well.

You could’ve told me anything a few months ago. Absolutely anything bad about Israelis and I would’ve believed you. Because I’d scroll social media and see videos of children dying, people being beaten, buildings being destroyed, everything. Then I’d scroll some more and see videos of Israelis doing everyday things, videos of people having fun, videos of people eating, etc, and I found it so unfair that they (according to hamasnik rhetoric) were living in absolute peace while Palestinians are dying right next to them. Then I’d scroll some more and see videos of the IDF (I actually don’t even know if the videos were even of the IDF or not, but as I said, you could’ve told me anything and I’d have believed you. I genuinely believed that it was the IDF) shooting people, beating people, etc. And I was told to look at these videos everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. A lot of the Hamasnik mouthpieces take advantage of the average westerner’s inability to understand Arabic or Hebrew, so there’s a lot of mistranslated videos of Israelis saying they want every Arab dead, a lot of mistranslated Al Jazeera videos of people in Amsterdam for example, saying “يهودي قذر" (dirty Jew) with the wrong captions on and then us non Arabic speaking cult trapped people are none the wiser to what that means because we refuse to engage with any sources that won’t fit our narrative, because we’re complicit in death if we step outside the narrative.

I don’t believe that Zionists should die, but I did. I don’t believe that the hostages should suffer, but I did. I truly believed the worst of things, and perpetuated horrible antisemitism, because I genuinely believed that I was doing good. I found myself justifying unspeakable acts, and saying unspeakable things, things that I would have whole heartedly condemned prior, because I genuinely thought I was doing something right. For example, prior to me falling into that cultish trap, I would’ve wholeheartedly condemned saying a slur coined by David fucking Duke. But after? As I said, I was doing and saying unspeakable things.

I would watch videos from Hamasniks everyday, perpetuate antisemitism everyday, go to sleep and dream about that stuff, and wake up and do it all again, first thing in the morning. A vicious cycle.

And unknowingly somewhere else around the world, some Jewish or Israeli person would wake up, witness antisemitism everyday, witness people wishing the worst upon the hostages, the Jews, the Israelis, the Zionists, everyday, go to sleep terrified for what’s happening to their people, and wake up and see it all again first thing in the morning. Another vicious cycle.

I wish I had a better answer for you, I do. An answer that’s more digestible and less disturbing. I wish I could undo everything that I’ve said and done to the people I’ve hurt whether that be in real life or online. I truly am sorry, and I wish that an apology would fix everything, but it won’t. I wish that all the pain I inflicted on all the Jewish people and Israeli people could be taken away and that I would feel that pain tenfold.

If it’s any consolation or solace, I hate myself more than any of you combined. There is nobody who hates me more than me at this current moment in time and I absolutely do deserve every ounce of pain inflicted upon me, whether it be mental or physical. If you wish death upon me, just know that I do agree with you, but unfortunately previous attempts have failed.

I deleted all of my old posts from that period of time to avoid people getting hurt by them anymore, but I think I’ve done too much damage for me to be a good ally, so I just say nothing now, but I truly do wish the best for all of you and I wish that all of this would stop and that the hostages will be found, hopefully alive.

My apologies for writing a whole Bible in your asks, I truly didn’t mean to.

TLDR - reductionism and anti-intellectualism combined with trapping yourself in an echo chamber of regurgitated rhetoric and constantly regurgitating said rhetoric is a quick way to find yourself dabbling in extremism.

To avoid falling into a trap such as this, avoid generalisations of races, ethnic groups, and the like, look for nuance, try hear people out even when you don’t understand them, instead of blocking them (this is in reference to me blocking every single person who opposed my hamasnik ideology at the time. You should probably block hamasniks, they tend to harass Jewish people a lot), and remember that if someone tells you that a whole war isn’t complex, they’re lying. It absolutely is.

I hope you've been able to see the other responses your other ask has gotten as well! Truly, you aren't someone who I hate. Personally, I do forgive you. Other people may not, and that's their right. But I know first-hand what it's like to be radicalized and to not only commit to extreme rhetoric but also extreme actions. I've learned to have compassion for myself, and I hope that with time you will undergo a similar process.

Someone else said it, "you can't hate yourself into being a better person." All of us, as beings, grow with love and kindness. War is hard it's horrific, and hellish. You're constantly exposed to this violent imagery, this extreme rhetoric, and your whole friend groups are getting in on it. I understand exactly how it happens, and I do have sympathy for it.

To me, the most important part of your story isn't the worst shit you've ever done. It's this part. The part where you learn how to be better, and so you do better, and reach out across the divides and bridge those gaps that have formed. That is a very human story.

[vaya-is-dead]

Welcome to hour one of my delusional city

SO ABOUT JINX.... we have plenty to discuss. :))

*act three arcane spoilers under the cut don't read if you haven't watched it especially the last episode!!*

I have a theory.

Now many of you will point at me and call me delusional but I'm sorry. I think I might be right on this one for a change. (or at least it might be implied.)

OK, if you watch the final episode, you know that jinx made the sacrifice taking Warwick with her while Vi screams for her. This scene absolutely broke my heart and for about a good 15 minutes I thought she was dead.

Until I went back and watched the last couple of scenes.

Something that I found interesting is that Caitlyn was looking at the blueprint of the vent system, more specifically where Jinx made her ultimate sacrifice. We all know that arcane is not a show that would just throw in details all without reason. Everything has a point everything is calculated to either imply something or show something.

Why would Caitlyn be looking at the blueprint and why would the show creators specifically zoom in on certain airways? Well, of course, then none other to imply that Jinx could've escaped through one of these, therefore possibly surviving.

Now with that alone, it probably doesn't mean anything. It is nothing but a skeleton of what possibly could be, it needs flesh and muscle for it to actually be a Working theory.

But then, as I watched the final scene before the credits, tell me why an airship from Piltover airship very similar to the ones that we saw in episode one where powder said that she would be flying one of those one day. Why was it flying away into the distant sky, then followed by the classic Jinx glitches with the words the end?

Tell me why a show that is so focused on each, and every small detail, from micro expression to touches that linger just a second too long for it to be nothing, Even the drawings and graffiti around Zaun. why would a show so focused on those types of details do something like that if Jinx was not alive? It does not make any sense. It would not make any sense for the show.

Need more proof?

if you pay attention when Caitlyn and Vi are talking, specifically towards the end where Vi leans into Caitlyn, the expression on her face is not one of relief, but rather one of knowing something. She was the one looking at the blueprint, and she was the one who noticed the potential escape route that jinx would know better than anyone because it wasn't her sort of Home in the vent system? How could she not know how to escape?

it's also very satisfactory to her character arc, it was only in season two where we started to see her perception of death start to shift, it was only when Isha came into her life that she really started to understand her own mortality and not completely disregard her life like she used. the prison scene with Vi, where she's sort of regresses back to the mentality of everyone around me will get hurt because of me. while in act three she did begin to disregard her life again, I would like to think that her talk with Ekko might've snapped her back into place. So instead of losing jinx's character development in its entirety, she continues on the same path where she was while still keeping her goal of letting VI be happy the same.

Plus the pink streak coming up the side of the hex gate tower, it's similar to the way that Jinx charges at Vi in their fighting scene.

Now, this is the part where you go into the comments and call me delusional and make fun of my theory but thank you for comming to my Ted's talk

[prozacwhorehouse]

paparazzi | mgg x SNL cast member gf

Summary: comments from the paparazzi instill doubt in you, but Matthew is there as a voice of reason

this was a request but it got deleted when I was making edits so I hope this finds its way to that lovely person !

—————————————————————————

pre and post show paparazzi outside the studio wasn’t uncommon. but when speculation that you and Matthew were dating blossomed, they got more incessant and difficult to ignore. it seemed as if they were always around, with the intention of spotting the two of you and documenting it. they were constantly nagging for answers and details about your relationship, most specifically mentioning the age gap.

the both of you knew it’d would be hard for some people to understand, but the idea that you were both legal consenting adults seemed more logical and would be accepted easier. originally, you had kept the relationship private - wanting the intimate moments to be kept to yourselves, only for yourselves. eventually the love becomes to great to hide, so you started dropping hints to the public. hints weren’t enough, there were always the small few who liked to dig a little deeper, push sensitive buttons - almost always internet trolls, or worse, in person paparazzi.

no matter what, they’ll always jab at the age gap. it’s always flashing cameras followed by comments, from “your relationship is inappropriate” “she’s young enough to be your daughter” and even, “is you dating an older man rooted in daddy issues?”

a video of the interaction goes viral and all the comments are offering support for the two of you:

they are both consenting adults. those who can’t accept that need to grow up and mind their own business.

these poor angels. the paparazzi is disgusting, ill never understand why it’s still a thing

they’re both grown leave them the fuck alone

daddy issues?? holy shit. the pap is getting so much worse.

two talented people reduced to their relationship. do better

you knew accepting a job on television came with its consequences, but you weren’t going to let people who get paid to be nosy stand in the way of your dream. so, with time you had learned how to handle paparazzi with ease. what was typically praise now being sprinkled with hate, it got harder and harder to ignore.

because the more someone says something about you, the more you start to believe it.

why is he with me? is this weird? am i wrong? is he wrong?

Whenever Matthew happened to be with you during these paparazzi incidents, he’d always guide you through the crowd by the small of your back or your hand. Weaving through people wordlessly, only whispering assurances into your ear, squeezing your hand to calm your heart beating in your ears.

—————————————————————————

The whole ride home to your apartment is silent. With Matthew, you two are always talking, always sharing thoughts, making the occasional silence reason for concern.

“Are you okay? You din’t say more than a word or two at a time not the way home,” he says while shutting the apartment door behind him.

“Are we, wrong?” you turn to gaze up at him through your lashes, the look on your face hurt.

“What do you mean, angel?” he croons, concern and confusion blossoming across his face.

“Like,” you pause and scoff, trying to find the words for your question. “Is what we’re doing wrong. Being together.”

“Do you not want to do it anymore? Cause we don’t have to-” his face turns to worry, your heart dropping at the thought of him thinking you’d say anything other than no. because no matter what anyone says, he’s so in love with you he can’t even imagine losing you.

“no! oh my gosh, no.” you’re quick to assure, holding his face in your hands. it’s just exhausting. why are they so concerned with our lives? can they not just-“

“you love me?” he interrupts, looking at you intently.

“what?” you scoff in disbelief, pulling back slightly. “of course I do - why?”

“because I love you. And that’s all that matters, yeah?” he brushes his thumb across your cheek, gazing into your eyes so lovingly. he always looks at you that way.

“It could be worse. They could be comparing me to Leonardo DiCaprio,” he smiles, causing the corners of your mouth to turn up, “and I’m definitely not DiCaprio level.”

“If you were, you would’ve dropped me when I turned 25,” you snicker and he sighs, throwing his head back.

“You’re funny, you know that?”

“I’d hope so. It’s kind of my job.”

—————————————————————————

mgg x SNL cast member taglist

@sarcasm-and-stiles @mystargirl-interlude @rubyirene @ashrrams @ghostatrixx @forevermorepassionate @saint-boudica @reidmarieprentiss @awakeforu @spencerlicious @kittycat-april @baudarling @delusional-4-fake-people @avenlymars @angelinajolie0213 @arusio @littleslayofhorrors @jezabelle9299 @jaemnationnn @princess-ofthe-pages @flow33didontsmoke

[mymegrokosmos]

B specifically asked not to be hurt but it's her bday weekend so instead of listening we are writing Yunho smut on this fine Friday evening. Anyway, uh yeah... best friend Yunho. 🔞

content : mentions of drinking, thigh riding, unprotected sex, slightly dubious consent, best friends Yunho and reader fooling around.

The evening started the way Thursdays typically did. You showed up at Yunho's cramped little excuse for an office, shared with the always courteous San and Seonghwa, to find him the only one working late. San was just packing up when you walked in, Wooyoung perched halfway on his desk chattering away as you offered them both a wave. You weaved your way past them, carefully avoiding Seonghwa's little shelf of lego creations, to drop down onto the corner of the desk Yunho typically had half covered in papers and miscellaneous stationary.

"Fancy meeting you here."

He glanced up from his grading, pen tapping against his bottom lip as he sat back with a sigh when he finished the page. "Hello stranger."

You smiled as he ran a hand through his already messy dark hair. It was always in disarray after these classes. His TA position stressing him out more this semester than it usually did. He was better at managing most of the time but his course load was heavy lately and he'd been staying later and later to finish marking and assignments. The balance wasn't exactly work life balancing and you had yet to see him actually sleep once this week.

He ran a hand over his face when you quirked a brow at him, glancing between him and the pile of papers on his desk. "When are these marks due in?"

"Tuesday."

"How many do you have left to get through?"

"Maybe twenty more? I should be able to finish a few more tonight and then run through the rest tomorrow. Then I can sit down and study for that Stats exam Sunday and help you with our presentation Monday."

"And are you planning on sleeping any time between now and then?"

He sighed. "y/n you know I'm doing my best here. I just don't have time."

You shook your head. "Finish that one and I'll borrow Hwa's or Sannie's desk space to sit down and get through more of our presentation. Then we can go back to mine, since Mingi is definitely not going to let you get any sleep tonight, and I'll help you with the rest of these tomorrow."

He blinked up at you. "You've already done like three quarters of the work on this presentation."

"So it won't be much more when I make up 85% and you have a fresh, functioning, brain to look over everything before the final draft Monday. Plus, you're my best bet at actually passing stats and if we're going to be studying all weekend we can at least get some rest in between. And I have plenty of caffeine."

He groaned. "Please do not even talk to me about caffeine right now."

His leg jiggled and you laughed. "On your fifth americano of the day or something are we?"

He shrugged and held up four fingers, biting his lip. You shook your head.

"I'm not even going to ask. Speedrun your marking, I'll be over there and then I'm buying you a drink on the way back to my apartment. If anyone deserves it, it's you. And maybe it'll counteract some of the blood in your caffeine system."

A laugh and then you both turned to set back about your own tasks.

You hummed softly as you worked, only glancing at the time once you'd finished the last section of the powerpoint. Yunho's fresh eyes would catch a ton of small details you'd missed but that was fine. It was why he was always the final run-through on these things. You cracked your back and stretched, pressing save and closing your laptop. You found Yunho pretty much exactly where you had left him.

He sat hunched over his desk, chin resting in one hand as a red pen tapped against one cheek while he poked his tongue into the other. He was so focused or lost in whatever train of thought he was currently jotting down in the margins of the paper he was nearly done that he didn't even start when you came over. You leaned back against the corner of Hwa's desk and watched. He adjusted the glasses on his face as he finished and you bit your lip as he cracked his neck.

"If you keep doing that one of these days you're going to break something important."

It always made you just a little nervous. He grinned, dropping the pen as both arms came up over his head in a stretch you could almost feel. He flopped back into his chair, legs spread, and adjusted the glasses that had begun slipping down over the bridge of his nose. You just sighed and dropped into his lap.

"Done for the night?"

His forehead dropped forward to rest against the back of your shoulder as you cleaned up his desk, hands resting on your thighs as his fingers drew abstract shapes on your jeans.

"Mhm, if I start another one right now I think my head might just explode."

You smiled and started shuffling his things into a pile. "Help me clean up and then we can leave. I have a bottle of soju or seven with your name on them in the fridge."

His little cheer was muffled against the back of your shirt as you both got up.

It didn't take long to walk to your building, your apartment wasn't far from the building all his classes were in this semester and Yunho's long legs forced you to walk a little faster than you would have alone. His presence did make the dark campus feel a little less foreboding so you stuck close as you headed inside and up to your unit.

He followed you in like he always did, at home here since he'd lived part time in your apartment before he and Mingi moved in together last fall. He was more than familiar. You dropped your things in the living room and headed to the kitchen to see what flavours of soju you had available. There was a selection.

It had maybe been a bad idea to suggest alcohol on an empty stomach.

You found yourself half naked, having lost a round of strip poker or two before the takeout arrived, leaning against Yunho's shoulder as you both burst into laughter for what felt like the millionth time in the last hour. The food was great and you shoved another bite into Yunho's mouth before he could launch into another story.

"Please shut up and eat your noodles before I suffocate. I think I broke a rib just now."

He chuckled, taking the chopsticks from you and scarfing down the rest of the container while you wiggled around trying to get your bones to sit right again. Your ribs and face hurt from laughing and you were pretty sure you'd cried off most of your mascara already. You took a deep breath.

"Why do I ever listen to you? You're so ridiculous, you know that?"

He grinned and you couldn't help the way your eyes drifted to his lips, lingering a little as you reached up to brush a bit of sauce from the corner. His breath hitched and you blinked up at your best friend.

"Okay?"

He nodded.

"Sorry, I should have asked first."

He shook his head, hand coming up to capture your wrist. You knew, in theory, that they were large but the ease with which his long fingers circled your wrist had you staring. This was new. Or was it?

You didn't think you were that tipsy.

"Hey Yun?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you pinch me please?"

He smirked. "I can think of something better."

You blinked. His face hovered closer, moving slowly. You didn't stop him. Then his lips were on yours and oh, you were so not dreaming. His teeth nipped at your bottom lip, making you squeak into his mouth and he laughed as he pulled away.

"I can't believe we've never done that before."

You reached up to touch your lips, and then to pinch him.

He jumped. "Yah! Hey! You can just tell me if you didn't like it."

You smiled. "I did like it. I was just making sure I didn't black out and accidentally dream this."

He sighed. "No, we're both still awake. Was that really necessary?"

You shrugged and then you were leaning up to kiss him again. He tasted like soju, what was new there, and the strawberry chapstick Hwa had bought him for his birthday last month. His lips were soft and everything but gentle as they worked against yours. You lit up when his tongue parted your lips and plunged into your mouth, sighing against his lips.

He was a good kisser, you'd give him that. Your hands found his wide shoulders and you braced yourself as you climbed into his lap to get closer. Something about Yunho was just addictive and as long as he was good with where this was going, you didn't want to stop.

He was right, why had you never made out before? You'd definitely gotten drunk and tried other things together over the years. It should have been only natural that this was on the list of experimentation, you'd known him since high school after all, but kissing was just one of those things you'd never dared to initiate with Yunho before now.

His hands were everywhere and you found yourself whining into his mouth when they slid down to cup your ass. He squeezed and you rocked forward, gasping as he adjusted you like you weighed nothing. You let Yunho manhandle you, moving you from his lap to straddling one large thigh. You nipped at his jaw when he pressed your hips down, guiding them over his still jeans-clad leg.

"Yunho." You whined.

It was unfair that he was still so clothed while you sat there in just your underwear. It was a matching set at least but neither of you was really paying attention to that particular detail. You tugged on his shirt and he leaned back to watch you unbutton it, hand coming up to fold behind his head. His eyes were dark as they trailed over you and you could feel the heat pooling in your gut.

"Tell me to stop and we can."

You shook your head. "If you stop now I'm disowning you. Hongjoong is going to be my new best friend."

He laughed and leaned in to press kisses down your neck, humming softly against your skin as you finally managed to get him out of his shirt, shoving it off over his shoulders.

He pulled you back in, one hand on your waist guiding you to rock against his flexed thigh as the other came up to cup your breast. "Do you have any idea how pretty you are like this?"

You hummed. "A mess?"

He shrugged, the hand on your breast moving to unclip your bra in one smooth motion. "For me, yeah, that's hot."

"Mm, because you're the one making me desperate?"

He nodded, head dipping down to catch a nipple in his mouth. You gasped, hand tangling in his hair and he groaned as you tugged when his tongue flicked over your skin.

"You have no idea how desperate you make me. It's nice being the one with the upper hand for once."

Before you could ask what, exactly, he meant by that his hands and mouth busied themselves making it impossible to think. You gave in, only getting a minute to breathe when he flipped you around and pulled you back against his chest.

You leaned your head back, tilting your neck to give his lips better access while his fingers moved to trace your wetness over your panties. He bit down on your shoulder when you gasped, fingers trailing under the fabric to ghost over where you needed him the most. He groaned against your skin and you gasped when one finger slid inside you, slowly sinking up to the knuckle.

"Fuck."

"Mm, too much?"

You shook your head, hand grasping his wrist. "No. No, don't stop."

The chuckle against your neck had you shivering. "Oh, greedy tonight are we? My good girl wants another?"

You struggled to force your eyes open. "Please Yun, feels so good. Fill me up. Please."

He didn't ask again, sinking two more fingers knuckle deep as they continued to pump in and out at his pace. He worked you fast and didn't let up until you were shaking, clawing at his thighs and begging. You were pretty sure you'd started crying and you didn't care, the orgasm that swept over you was worth it.

When you caught your breath enough to whimper his name again he was already pulling out his cock, groaning as he adjusted you on his lap again, legs hooking underneath yours to keep you spread open for him.

"Fuck, you sound so pretty when you cum."

He was stroking himself with the hand that, moments ago, had been mostly inside you. You forced your thighs to cooperate a little longer as you turned to straddle him properly again, hips rocking as his tip slid along your slit, now slick with your own release. He moaned and you found yourself smirking.

Oh, so this was what he had been on about. It did feel good, seeing him such a mess for you, especially when you had barely done anything.

"Let me, please, don't need to be inside but can I...?"

His pathetic whines had you biting your lip and nodding. "Yes, yes Yun. Use me however you need."

You swear he almost came at those words, stopping to stare you dead in the eye and then he was guiding his length along your slit like a man possessed. He felt so good you let your eyes slide shut, hands anchored on his shoulders as you felt him slip inside.

"Mm... just the tip. Please y/n."

His begging nearly undid you. You nodded, hips rolling with his and then suddenly he was grasping you by both hips and slamming up into you. The size of him knocked the breath from your lungs and he groaned.

"Fuck, shit, sorry. Just felt so good. Couldn't help it."

You rocked your hips a little, testing the stretch, and his hips stuttered. You'd never seen him like this and fuck if it wasn't more than a little intoxicating. The breathy moans, the whines as he held himself still just long enough for you to adjust to the sheer length of him pressed fully inside you.

You both paused as he pressed a hand to your pelvis and you caught a glimpse of him bulging in your abdomen. You gasped, he groaned, and then you were being pressed down into the couch while he hovered over you.

"Please please let me do that again."

You guided his hand, back arching as he slammed into you. You watched as he traced his fingers over the outline, cursing under his breath, and whimpered when his pace suddenly went from manic to man on a mission. He was rutting into you so hard he had to hold your waist to keep you from sliding all the way up the length of the couch but neither of you noticed the way the sofa creaked beneath you with every snap of his hips.

By the time he pulled out, hand fisting his cock as he painted your stomach, you were already seeing stars again. You arched up against him, whining and moaning his name as your hand slid down to your clit, fingers working you through your climax while he caught his breath.

"Who knew all needed was to get railed?" You teased, when you glanced up and met his eyes.

He laughed, sweat dripping down his forehead as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. That set you off and then you were both shaking with laughter.

"At least let me clean you up before we make another mess."

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

Lee Know Jealousy

SKZ Jealousy series pt. 2: (when they're in a serious relationship do they get jealous at all? What makes them jealous if they get jealous? How do they act in a relationship? What's their response/behavior when jealous? How do they handle it?)

If anyone has ever told you he’s not jealous they’re a liar. Fibber. Deceiver. Storyteller, even. Believe nothing they’ve ever said after that. Lee Know and Jealousy are two peas in a grenade.

First off, when he’s jealous you’ll know. He’s not the type of person who won’t show it out of fear for what will happen if he does. He’s just not. He stands his ground and isn’t about to let some weirdo flirt with his partner right in front of him. That’s not how he operates.

He fights for what’s his. And that includes whoever he’s with. If he DOESNT get jealous…He simply doesn’t care. Doesn’t want you anymore. Because his jealousy is part of him fighting for his partner and their relationship because he WANTS it and doesn’t want any threats to it.

He wants a stable relationship. Anything that would stoke jealousy is a threat to the relationship’s stability, plain and simple. And he won’t be satisfied until that thing is over and done with. Out of the picture and out of his life. For good.

He has a very restless mind. He overthinks, and over analyzes. He can’t help the thoughts that come up that’re jealous when his partner is a little too friendly with another guy. Because he’s a thinker. And once someone stokes that jealousy in him it will keep bubbling up. It will linger in the back of his mind.

He holds onto things a lot. So I WOULD NOT recommend getting him jealous on purpose. He will remember. And trust me, it will stack up against you. That’s how he is.

Generally he’s content and comfortable with his jealousy. It’s part of him. He doesn’t hide or deny it. Hell, he’d tell you he’s a jealous person if you asked. He’s always been that way. And he has a wealth of it to give out.

Jealousy builds and builds and builds with him. And it will stay until he’s 100% sure what started it will not be an issue again.

But even then he probably would throw it back in your face during arguments if it’s still lingering in his mind.

He’s content in his jealousy. But that doesn’t mean it’s not draining. If you constantly flare it up, he will feel like he can’t trust you. And trust is the most important thing to him in relationships.

Make him too jealous and he’ll be exhausted. Helpless. It’ll affect his self esteem slowly but surely, make him wonder why his partner keeps doing these things that make him jealous when they have him. It’ll make him doubt the relationship and his partner’s love for him, point blank period. And he may lose focus or interest in the relationship.

But he also doesn’t mind a jealous partner. Im getting a balance and equality there.

He wants to work past whatever it is that made him jealous. Because if he’s with you and caring and trying he loves you. And he doesn’t like losing those he loves, contrary to popular belief. And conversely he wants to know if the actions caused by his jealousy hurt. He’s like that with most things. He can say and do hurtful things but he won’t know they are unless he’s told. And he wants to be told. He doesn’t care if he is at any point as long as he is.

He will act like it’s fine after all is said and done but it’s not. It lingers. It causes a lot of turbulence in him. He’ll probably be on edge and the jealousy will be quick to flare back up. He’ll constantly be looking out for something.

The type to go through his partner’s phone without them knowing.

He may keep it a secret if it lingers too long because he doesn’t want to start rocking the boat for something that’s passed.

But he will throw it in your face in an argument.

Just a lot of emphasis on VII of Swords specifically here.

He likes it when he can get over these things. Or when he feels he doesn’t have to hide it and can safely express its still bothering him with his partner. It makes him feel grateful for them. Grateful that they’re understanding of it. Like he’s lucky.

It makes him all the more content and emotionally satisfied in that relationship/situation.

This can start a lot of arguments though. Jealousy. And he’s not the kindest in arguments because his priority is protecting himself and his own peace.

He can be aggressive and say very hurtful things with no real compassion. He may possibly feel guilty or ashamed after the fact if he realizes it hurts you and he…Well, cares, but he’ll very rarely offer an apology unless you express how much it hurt after.

[aceingonthecake]

Very Personal Take on Good Omens

I've always related more to Crowley. It has always been easier for me to understand them than Aziraphale, especially in s1. Don't get me wrong, I've adored Aziraphale since day one too, I just think that, personality wise, we have less traits in common.

However, since the end of s2, I've been able to really feel for Aziraphale and immediately found myself defending them and their final decision. I won't lie and tell you that, at the beginning, I didn't feel angry and even a little betrayed at all, but once I cooled down and thought about it with a clear mind I got it. And, later, I also got the reason why I was feeling so defensive about Aziraphale.

Last year I broke up with my partner, with whom I also had a lot of mutual friends. I was the one to call it off and I did it because there were some dynamics I couldn't tolerate anymore, but I still loved them and I suffered a lot (still do sometimes). Still, I knew it was the right thing to do for the both of us and I never regretted it.

The thing is, the friends we had in common never really bothered to check up on me: I was the one to call it off and I was the one who'd always appeared emotionally stronger, so why would I be suffering? However, they comforted my ex multiple times, sometimes right after I'd gone home, because they just burst into tears in front of everyone. Obviously, I was very sad and cried a lot too, I just avoided doing it in front of our mutual friends to avoid creating sides (when we broke up we promised this to each other).

Connecting all of this to Good Omens, I believe that something like that is happening in the fandom too. A lot of people are hyper focusing on Crowley's pain because it's more obvious and understandable to them, while they're painting Aziraphale as the "bad one" who broke their heart and doesn't care about them just because they were the one who made the difficult decision. And, while I understand it's easier to see it that way, I also think it's not actually that hard to dig a little deeper.

Just because someone's pain is more evident doesn't mean they were the only one to get hurt and didn't hurt back too. Crowley hurt Aziraphale too, even if we might not see it immediately or as clearly as the other way around. They're both suffering, there is no right and wrong side, they both made mistakes and, nonetheless, it's no doubt they love each other and deserve a happy ending.

I hope this makes sense. It's a very emotionally charged analysis so, even if you don't agree, be polite about it please. I know I didn't get too much into what happened in the final 15, but I've already made (and I'll make) other specific posts about it. This one was more of an emotional take.

I'd also like to underline that none of this is a contest about who's hurting more. It's an invitation not to take for granted other people's feelings but actually try and understand both sides of a situation, even if we naturally relate to or understand one more than the other. (Of course, this doesn't apply to toxic relationships).

[evanbuckleyrecs]

Any recommendations on hurt-comfort Buddie that will make you cry? HEA please!

I started to answer this but accidentally clicked on a Tumblr link so I gotta start over 😂

I haven't read Buddie fics in a while so these are a bit older. (I'm going to catch up soon! I've just been in a phase where I'm either reading Teen Wolf fics or physical books)

Also haven't updated my bookmarks yet. Sadly a lot of great authors I'd normally recommend have turned anti-Buddie since April and I'd rather not promote them in Buddie posts if they're not safe to follow anymore as a Buddie fan.

Please check the tags of a fic before reading in case something is triggering for you!

the things that haunt me in the middle of the night by justhockey

2,4k, rated G

He gasps for breath and it feels like a reflex - like coming up for air after being sucked under. Like a desperate, manic thing.

He’s safe, he knows that. Knows he was never really in much danger anyway. But the sound of it all - the waves, the rain, the crashing and the thundering - it echoes in his head, ricochets through his bones. It lives inside of him, he guesses, even after all these years. That fear, the exhaustion, the crippling terror of finding the surface only to realise that Christopher was gone.

He rubs at his sternum, tries to breathe deeply, tries to blink away the memories of the day the water nearly took everything from him.

I let my guard down by bucksclipboard

6,5k, rated M

"It didn’t stop. Buck went from hoping the packages were from someone special to suspecting someone was toying with him. The hopeless romantic in him was slowly wilting. When he opened the latest letter, suddenly he was not so sure his secret admirer was of the good-natured kind. "

or: who needs police protection when you have eddie diaz by your side?

Cut me slack (I've watched your heart stop) by kat_atthewisco

Rated G, 5,4k

“Well, unfortunately I am calling you specifically for your role as Mr. Buckley’s power of attorney. He does need a couple of decisions made about his care that he’s not fit for at the moment. If you’re able to get here soon that would be best, I can’t tell you much over the phone.” To her credit, Deirdre does sound apologetic, and Eddie’s panic has begun to ratchet back up.

“I’ll be there as fast as I can, is he- please, how bad?” Eddie repeats.

In which Eddie gets The Call from Cedars-Sinai while he's off work thanks to a healing injury. Being Buck's emergency contact is suddenly a very real thing.

Never More To Leave Here by devirnis

Rated T, 10,2k

"Can you remind my brother that we were supposed to get lunch?” Maddie asks.

“Uh sure,” Eddie says slowly, confused. “But why don’t you just call him yourself?”

“I did, a couple times, but he didn’t answer. I assumed he was still with you?”

Eddie thinks back to last night, to Buck specifically making plans to go back to his own place so he wouldn’t be late for lunch with Maddie. Buck had texted him when he got home, just a simple night :) that still made Eddie’s heart flutter, so obviously Buck had made it back to the loft… But there haven’t been any texts from Buck all morning. Not that that is necessarily unheard of, but especially over the last few weeks it’s become rarer and rarer for even a few hours to go by without Eddie’s phone dinging with a message notification from Buck.

A small tendril of worry curls around Eddie’s ribs.

BTHB: locked up & left behind

Diagnosis: Dumbass by snarkymuch

Rated T, 2,7K

Christopher scrunched his face, then stopped rummaging through his pack to grab something from the ground—something that turned out to be his phone.

“No, nope—who do you think you’re calling?” he asked, trying to reach for it, but Christopher had already hit the button, dialing someone—whom he’d bet anything was his father.

Christopher pulled away, out of reach, phone to his ear, then a moment later saying, “Yeah, I’m okay, dad—yeah, I know—no, but he fell out of a tree—”

“He is fine, though!” Buck yelled, hoping to stop the inevitable freakout from Eddie. “Eddie, do you hear me? I’m fine!”

--or--

Buck takes Chris out for a light hike, somehow ends up falling out of a tree, and Chris patches him up while waiting for his dad to arrive.

Presumed Dead by inkonmyheartandonthepage

Rated G, 4,4K

The fresh air was supposed to have been good for Buck. A small hike that he had done a million times. A nice hike that gave him a workout and at the same time allowed him to sift through his thoughts and feelings and to focus on what he really wanted.

Instead, he’s stuck in the middle of nowhere at a rest stop watching some asshole drive away in his jeep.

OR

The 118 crew arrive a fender bender only to find it's Buck's jeep on fire and the body inside dead and burning.

The monsters turned out to be just trees by Ink_Dancer

Rated T, 8,4k

Buck and Eddie are searching for a missing person, and they're already lost in the woods when Buck gets injured and makes their situation a lot more complicated. With the sun going down, they're forced to spend the night outside, with only each other for warmth and shelter.

(set post-buck's recovery from the firetruck, but no other specific time markers. nebulously within the show's canon.)

It's what my rotting bones will sing when the rest of me is dead by heartbeatdiaz

Rated T, 12,4k

"Eddie? Eds, can you hear me?” Buck rubs his knuckles against Eddie's sternum, a little too harsh, a little too desperate. "Eddie!"

Eddie croaks out a weak, barely there, whine as Buck's knuckles do the trick and his eyes open in slits.

"Evan?" He chokes out, his voice so hoarse and raspy that it must have been hurting his throat. "You're real?" He whispers in awe, his hand twitching as his side like he wants to reach up to Buck— touch his face— but he's too weak to do that. Eddie's brow furrowed but a small smile graces his lips, barely there. "I didn't give up. I made it home to you."

or;

the one where a call goes wrong and leaves everyone thinking eddie was dead, buck finds about the will through a letter and comes to some other revelations in the process.

and in which eddie finds his way back home and finally gets to be happy with the love of his life.

BTHB Prompt: Missing and Presumed Dead

Let me go by tawaifeddiediaz

Rated T, 8,1K

For the first time since he met him, he wasn’t sure where Buck was, and it was driving him insane. His shift ended three hours later than Eddie on Tuesdays, and today, he had texted saying that he was going to pick up groceries.

After that, he hadn’t returned back home.

Kindness: What Connects Us by FandomLife54

Rated T, 9,6k

Still off balance, Buck slams his left heel onto the roof, heaving forward to catch the collar of that yellow shirt. And there’s no conscious decision making here. It’s all instinct, and he’s grateful for it. If he’d given his overzealous mind the chance to consider another way, he would have missed his shot. Instead, his arms hurl the boy into the hands of another survivor...

And his right foot misses the edge.

OR

Buck catches Chris before he rolls off the firetruck, and it's him who falls back into the retreating waters of the tsunami. Unconscious and seriously injured, he's unaware that his team has been searching for him, never giving up as the days pass.

A leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things

Not rated, 11,1k

Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.

But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”

—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—

So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

And I watched a part of myself die 'cause no amount of freedom gets you clean by himbobuckley

WARNING: rape/non-con. Rated T, 10,2K

Buck goes out drinking after a particularly tragic call and the night takes a turn for the worse when he's targeted and assaulted. Struggling in the aftermath and unsure how to handle it, Buck tries to distance himself from his friends and family, believing that with time he can simply move past it on his own. Eddie notices something is wrong with Buck and desperately tries to get through to his friend, fearing the worst.

or:

Buck goes through the fucking ringer. eddie notices something's horribly wrong. you can contact my lawyer for emotional damages.

or:

“I heard about what happened yesterday,” Eddie says softly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. And that I didn’t know. I should’ve gone out with you, or made you come over, or-”

“Eddie,” Buck interrupts. “It’s- it’s okay. I just went out drinking. It’s fine.”

“Drinking alone?”

“Yeah,” he stammers. “Yeah, alone.”

“Hey listen, why don’t you come over tonight? We can do a movie night. And… I have something to tell you.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Buck murmurs, feeling the tears welling up again. “I don’t think I can tonight.”

“Hey, wait Buck-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Blue skies by spaceprincessem

36,7k, rated T

“Most babies are born as accidents,” She says suddenly, like she’s decided that Buck has passed, that she can trust him with this.

Buck doesn’t really have an answer because that question hits way to fucking close to home. A year or so ago he would have said, yes, I was an accident, so I know how that goes, but Buck knows better now. Knows that he would almost give anything for that answer to still be yes. Evie’s finger works under the seal to rip it open, a stack of important looking papers dumping out onto the table in front of her.

“Not me,” she says without looking up as she organizes them into a neat stack, “I was engineered.”

And.

And Buck’s pretty fucking sure a giant, cataclysmic hole has ripped right open, dragging him down to the earth’s core where he vaporizes into dust.

{or Buck meets another savior baby and everything comes crashing down}

Leave The Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania

Rated M, 44,4k, fandom classic

“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says.

“Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says.

“I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies.

“Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.”

--

An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed.

While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

Over The Age, Over Again by mintedwitcher

Rated E, 16,5k

EXCERPT:

He would’ve fallen down the cliffside if it hadn’t been for Bobby on the winch. Because that… that’s Buck’s jeep. There’s no denying it, no mistaking it. That is Buck’s jeep. Hanging almost sideways off a ledge, the driver’s side doors flung open with the force of the fall. And further down… no. No it can’t be… a man, smashed against the rocks. A massive pool of blood. But Eddie can see the familiar white sneakers against the dirt.

No Sight For Heart Eyes by znks

Rated E, 20,5k

“Buck, Karen, and Eddie stayed on the couch and talked while the kids settled on the floor to draw. It all felt so wonderfully normal that Eddie found himself forgetting that he hadn’t just closed his eyes in serenity as he leaned against Buck.

That’s what made the spell breaking so painful.

“Dad! Look! I drew the firetru- Oh, wait, it’s okay you can see it when you’re all better!” Christopher said it so cheerfully, not even hesitating before going back to swapping out pens with Denny.

But Eddie felt it like a shot to the chest.

He couldn’t see his son’s drawings.

Buck and Karen had barely paused in the conversation, but Eddie could hear how strained it became, both of them obviously knowing exactly how heartbreaking the moment had been. Buck’s arm wrapped more tightly around Eddie’s waist, chin resting on his shoulder.”

losing your sight for a week sucks but at least eddie has buck to guide him through his healing or at least through his own house

This has inspired me to go read more recent hurt/comfort Buddie fics! I haven't been super active on this account but hopefully I can update this soon :)

[moody-alcoholic]

Special Delivery Service

Chapter 16 - The Request

Summary: Simon x reader, 4.8k words. New job, new challenges, new choices.

CW: Language, descriptions of weapons, panic attack, PTSD, bad radio etiquette? Bad radio coms, first draft.

AN: After all the hurt I've been writing I needed this.

Previous - masterlist - Next

AO3

You think John was the most excited about you offering to take everyone out suit shopping. He excitedly gave you the company card, a list of specifications and an address to a tailor. It’s in a shopping centre just outside the city. You haven’t been to  a shopping centre since the attack. The thought of going back into one makes your stomach turn. 

“Don’t let Johnny pick the lunch spot, last time he spent a fortune.” John says. You nod smiling. Simon said he would drive which made Johnny and Kyle go green. You’re not sure why Simon is a good driver. You give him the address and head to the car.

“I call shotgun!” Johnny shouts like a child running to the front passenger door. 

“Hey, that's my seat!” You call back.

“Yeah, let the love birds have the front seats.” Kyle says.

“So we can make out in the back?” Johnny teases back, winking at him and moving to the back door. You hear Simon sigh, you can already tell his social battery is at zero, and who knows how long this will take.

“You don’t have to come.” You say to him over the car before you both get in. 

“And leave you alone with the company card and Johnny.” He says, raising an eyebrow. You smile at him and get in. Johnny plays DJ, his phone already hooked up to the speakers as he fights over music with Kyle. 

“You should put some of Kira Nova’s songs on. Get to know the client.” You say turning back to look at him. The sound of bagpipes fills the car for the second time. Kyle is almost manhandling the phone out of Johnny’s hand as he protests. 

“If I have to spend another trip listening to bagpipes I will throw you out of this car.” Kyle says. Suddenly the music switches to pop, and a woman starts singing. 

“This is her?” Simon asks, looking over at you quickly, his eyes creased. You nod. “I think this was number 1 for a while.” You say. Everyone listens in silence until the song is almost finished. 

“You’re not going to make us learn the words are you?” Johnny asks, you chuckle. 

“No, you’ll have plenty of time at the concerts.” You look at Simon who sighs. Simon drives the car into a parking structure, nerves rise in you. It’s the first time you’ve been in a shopping centre since the attack. You’re gripping the seat belt as Johnny and Kyle get out enthusiastically and jumps out the car. 

Simon goes to open the door but he hesitates looking back at you. You’re still gripping the seat belt. Your breathing has picked up as you look over at Johnny and Kyle making their way over to the entrance. 

“Baby, you okay?” He asks his hand landing on your thigh and giving it a squeeze. It pulls you back to reality and you turn to look at him. His expression suddenly becomes darker as he turns in his seat. 

“I’m okay, it’s just.. It’s a shopping centre.” You say letting out a breath and unclipping your seat belt. Simon’s hand squeezes your thigh again.

“It’s okay. Do you want to go home? We can get a taxi back.” He says, tipping his head. You smile at him looking at Johnny and Kyle waiting by the entrance.

“No, I can’t let it control me.” You say. His hand comes up to your face pulling it to look at him. 

“You’re going to be fine. We’re all here, if you need to leave at any point then we will.” He says rubbing your chin with his thumb. You smile at him nodding. He leans over and presses his lips to yours, his kiss feels good as his hand strokes your face. You let his tongue run over yours, his movements soft pressing his body closer to you.

You want the kiss to last forever and not have to go into this centre just be here with Simon. There’s a knock on the car’s glass. 

“Hey love-birds, we’re on a clock here.” Johnny says as you break from the kiss looking up at him. Simon rolls his eyes and you both get out of the car. Simon waits for you holding his hand out as you walk next to him pulling your jacket closed. It’s cold, you can see your breath. It’s going to be winter soon, you’ll have to find out when the clocks go back.

You’re so stuck in your own head you don’t even realise you’re in the shopping centre until you feel warm and loosen the grip on your jacket. You look over at Simon who smiles at you squeezing your hand. Kyle and Johnny enthusiastically head up an escalator, you follow them a few steps behind. 

“Been here before?” You ask Simon. He nods, he’s pulled a mask up over his nose since you’ve walked in. He must have them stashed everywhere cos he always seems to have them on hand. When you make it to the next floor you see the suit shop from a mile away. Conveniently next to a wedding gown store. 

You follow Johnny in as a man comes from round the counter to greet them open arms. He’s an older looking man with a moustache and grey hair. You can hear him greeting them all by name. 

“And who is this lovely lady?” He asks you to extend his arm, you take it, telling him your name. He responds with his name; Greg.

“Simon’s better half.” Johnny Jokes already looking through a turnstyle of suit jackets. It makes you blush as the man looks up wide eyed at Simon. 

“So where's Johnathan? The man asks. 

“He’s swamped with paperwork.” Simon explains to the disappointment of Greg.

“So what are you looking for?” He asks, looking round at everyone.

“4 suits, for work.” Simon says as Johnny is taking different coloured jackets off the rack, Simon looks up at him. “All black.” Johnny huffs putting the jackets back on the rack. You smile at him, as he turns over to the all black jackets. 

“Is one of them for the lovely lady?” Greg asks, looking back at you and smiling. 

“No, she's just here to watch us dress up.” Johnny says heading through to what looks like the changing rooms. Greg chuckles and follows after him as you all walk through while Johnny waits outside a room that says ‘private’ Greg walks up and opens the door. 

When you walk through it's another room, smaller than the main floor but filled with suits and 2 changing rooms. 

 “Just got a new shipment last month.” Greg says as he goes over to a jacket taking it off the rack. He holds it up, sticking his hand inside and spreading open a pocket. “You’re usual concealed carry sewn in, even a place for a bigger radio. These are American, the same ones the secret service uses.” 

“You say that about all your suits.” Kyle says walking over to Johnny who’s looking at trousers. Greg turns with him.

“Ah yes and the new trousers, elastic waistband at the back, and you can pick a left or right concealed carry slot.” He explains pulling a pair out. Simon’s hand rests on your back as you take in the scene. You should have known it was not going to be a normal tailors. 

“You okay?” he asks, you look up at him and smile nodding.

“We have new kevlar plates too.” You hear Greg say and Johnny makes an excited noise. “We’re only here for suits.” Simon says going over to them. You stand there watching and listening as they look for their size of clothes. Greg ushers you over to a chair as you watch him go back to fussing over the boys. 

You watch as they try on different size jackets, all the same though as per John’s instructions black suit, no tie, no waist coat. Steel toe shoes, white or black shirts. You’ve all ready seen Simon eyeing up the black shirts. 

“What’s the news on a tactical kilt?” Johnny calls from the changing room. 

“Not much market for a tactical kilt in America.” Greg calls while measuring Simon’s mid section. Johnny steps out from the changing room with his jacket open turning around. 

“What do you think lass?” Johnny asks, winking at you. 

“You look good.” You nod at him smiling.

“Here.” Kyle comes over to Johnny handing him a weapon. Your breath catches in your throat, you can hear your heart thumping in your chest. You see the black metal as Johnny puts it inside his jacket then standing straight. 

You remember the cold feel of the weapon you had in your hands, you remember it firing off, how the kick back felt. You can smell the blood. You swallow your throat suddenly dry. You watch Johnny taking the weapon out and putting it back in its concealed spot with no issues. You stand up your chest suddenly feeling tight.

“You okay lass?” Johnny asks. You open your mouth to tell him you’re okay but all you can see is the weapon in his hand. It makes the words catch in your throat. Panic rises in you. You need air, you need to breathe. 

You turn heading for the exit ignoring the people calling behind you. You burst through the door into the main store. You brace yourself on the wall trying to suck in gulps of air. 

Simon crashes through the door and you turn to see him. His hands finding your shoulders moving you to look at him. 

“I-I can’t breathe,” you manage to get out, your head swimming as you pant for breaths with a hand on your chest. You see a glint of something in his eyes as he pushes you through into one of the changing rooms.

“You’re having a panic attack.” He says his voice level as he gently presses you down on the bench closing the curtain behind him. 

“What that- n-not possible.” You say. You don’t have panic attacks, soldiers and abused people have panic attacks. People who have PTSD, you don’t have PTSD. 

Simon kneels down so his face is level with yours one of his hands comes round to the back of your head the other grips the hand at your chest. 

“Just breathe, look at me and breathe.” You try looking at his face, he quickly pulls his mask down before moving his hand back to squeeze yours. 

“In and out come on. Breathe with me.” He takes in a big lungful of air and you follow him after a few deep breaths the pain subsided and tingling picked up in your fingers. You suddenly feel sick, your head swimming. 

Before you can stop yourself, tears spill over your eyes. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Simon says, wrapping his arms round you pulling you against him. 

“LT you good?” You hear Johnny call which makes you jump. 

“Yeah, we’re good.” Simon calls before he can come looking for you. You let out another long breath bringing your free hand up to wipe your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” You say as a door closes. 

“About what? Nothing to be sorry about.” He says his hand moving to rub your thigh. He waits a few seconds letting you take some more breaths. 

“What happened do you remember?” He asks. You nod but you feel like you can’t say it something builds in your throat. 

“The gun.” Is all you manage it coming out with a sob.

“Ah, shit I'm sorry. I didn’t think.” He says his hands come up to find your face. You’re trying to shake your head. He shouldn’t have to constantly worry about you.

“It’s not real, just a prop Greg uses so we can test the suits.” He sighs, you don’t know if you believe him but you don’t care. 

“I should have guessed it wasn’t going to be a regular tailors shop.” You say smiling, his hand cups your cheek. 

“I know, I should have told you. I’ll warn you next time.” He says. 

“It’s okay,” you say standing up. “You shouldn’t have to worry about me-” 

He stops you planting his lips on yours. You close your eyes letting his hands run over you, as he presses himself against you. You can feel his warmth, his tongue pressing in your mouth, it's a familiar dance grounding you as you moan, letting yourself relax. 

He pulls away, you look up at him, his eyes twinkling in the low light. 

“Don’t worry about me, I will be here for you no matter what. I want to make sure you’re happy and you feel safe.” He says his thumb rubbing your cheek. 

“I am safe, I am happy. This won’t happen again.” You say, you want to believe the words coming out his mouth. For his sake at least.

“It will, but I'll be there, every time.” He kisses your forehead. “How about this, I’ll pay Greg, get the boys to take a taxi home and we can go out for a nice meal. Wherever you fancy.” He says. 

“I feel bad for leaving them stranded.” You say. 

“Don’t. They’ll be fine, besides they’re going to be here for a while.” He smiles. You nod, sniffling and composing yourself. His hands leave your body as he heads back into the room coming out a few minutes later. You loop your arm in his and you quickly walk out to the car.

“They didn’t mind?” You ask as he turns the engine on. 

“I gave them the company card and told them to treat themselves.” He smiles. 

“John left me in charge of that, he’ll be so mad if Johnny over spends.” You say gripping your seatbelt.

“Let me worry about Price.” Simon chuckles. “So where do you want to eat?” 

You look out the window as you drive out the parking garage. It feels like a weight has been lifted as soon as you’re out to the main road. 

“Pizza.” You say reaching over to squeeze his thigh. You looks at you smiling. 

You’re back in the city centre at some Italian place that you’re sure is way too fancy. You feel like you should have made a reservation but Simon seems to be chummy with the maître d' and before you know it you’re being seated and offered complimentary champagne. 

Simon refuses but you gladly drink it down after the morning you’ve had. You let him order, picking the food. 

“So does this mean I'm always going to be afraid of shopping centres?” You ask reaching over and grabbing his hand. 

“We’ll talk about it another time. I promise. Lets just enjoy lunch.” He says.

“I love you.” You say squeezing his hand.

“I love you too.” He smiles squeezing it back. 

The food comes soon after, pizza’s and a caprese salad, plenty of garlic bread and enough chili oil you feel like you could drown in it. You eat and listen to Simon talk, he seems enthusiastic for once, the thought of the job behind him. For the first time in a long time it feels like you’re truly spending time with him.  

“I think I’m going to look for a new flat.” You say suddenly. Simon turns to look at you. 

“Where do you think you will move to?” He asks. 

“I don’t know, do you have any good ideas?” You ask watching for his reaction. 

“There’s nice flats in canary wharf.” he says. 

“Bit pricey.” You chuckle, taking a drink. He doesn’t seem to be getting it, your glances seem to just be putting him on edge. You let out a sigh leaning across the table to him. 

“I’m asking you to move in with me.” You say smiling. He frowns for a second. You lean back. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

“If you want. I mean you don’t have to. If you don’t want to. If it’s too soon.” You blurt out heat rushing to your cheeks. You feel bad but you’re already practically living together. Then he chuckles, you look up at him smiling at you. 

“What?” You ask, feeling really embarrassed now. He reaches across the table picking up your hand. 

“I was waiting to ask you. You beat me to it.” You look up at him frowning. “I’ve been looking for flats for the last few weeks. I didn’t want to ask you until I had a place I could show you.” 

“Really?” You ask not quite believing him. He nods.

“I love you, of course I would love to live with you.” He kisses the back of your hand. You get up off your feet going round to him and kissing him properly. 

 —————————— 

You’re rudely woken the next morning by John hammering on your door. You’re getting out of bed when he lets himself in. 

“What the hell! How do you have a key?” You ask, still rubbing the sleep out your eyes. He’s wearing a black suit and shirt. He holds up a similar suit in a bag. Simon comes behind you.

“Simon gave me a key.” He says as he throws the hanger to Simon.

“For emergencies.” Simon grumbles going to the bathroom. John comes over to you, handing you 2 radios and a phone.

“Work phone, keep it on you at all times. Gaz set it up with alerts for Charlotte, she starts spouting on social media let me know.” He says you just nod at him taking it all in. He turns around to see the bathroom door closed and the shower start.

“No time for a shower Riley, we’re already late!” He calls. You hear the shower turn off. 

“What’s going on? I thought we weren't needed for a few more days.” You say looking down at the radios and earpieces. 

“She wants us to be there for her rehearsal, it will give us a good chance to test equipment.” John says. You nod, sighing and heading back out the door. Simon comes out of the bathroom half dressed buttoning his shirt up. He does look good in a suit. 

“Good morning.” He smiles. 

“Morning.” You smile back at him, putting the radio’s and phone on the table. You dress as quickly as you can pulling on the clothes you had ready for the first day. When you come out Simon is fully dressed he already has his mask tucked under his chin. 

You go over to him untangling the mess of radios. He comes over to you with one in his hands. 

“You look good, very smart.” He hums as he attaches the radio to the front of your high waist pants. You can’t help your fingers moving over to him as he fiddles with the wires.

“Don’t look too bad yourself.” You say. He does look really good in a suit. He pushes your hair behind your ear pressing the transparent earpiece in. 

“Comfy?” He asks as your hand goes up to feel it. You wiggle it before nodding. He smiles, kissing your cheek connecting his own up. He has a special hidden pocket, his jacket hiding the bulky black radio perfectly. You feel out of place with yours just stuck on your hip. 

“It’s already tuned, we’ll always be on the same frequency.” He sighs. 

“What?” You ask.

“I don’t know how to teach you years of radio etiquette in a few seconds. His hand runs up to turn your radio on. You hear a click and a burst of static. 

“This is your volume, this is where you speak, you will have to press and hold the button. There’s a slight delay so wait a second before talking. Like this.” He presses the button on what looks like a volume controller. It’s stuck on the pocket of his vest. 

“Soap, I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long.” He says smiling. 

“Yeah?” Johnny’s voice comes back in your ear. 

“Yeah, There’s something fishy about that place.” Simon says. You chuckle. 

“Will you two hurry up? We were supposed to be there at 9.” John says. You look down at your watch, it's almost 10. Simon smiles as you follow him out the flat locking the door behind you. It feels strangely powerful dressed in a pants suit and an earpiece. 

“Do you have to say over and copy and all that stuff?” You ask as you walk to the car waiting outside.

“You don’t have to. I’ll tell you more when we’re there.” He says opening the door for you. Kyle scoots to the middle and you get in. 

“Looking good lass.” Johnny calls leaning over to see you. You smile at him but you can’t tell if he’s mocking you or not. You’re too tired. The drive to the O2 goes quicker than you think. John drives through some gates and round into a staff car park. There’s a massive tour bus parked near some open doors. 

You assume since the bus has a massive billboard of her latest album plastered on the side it belongs to Kira. 

Everyone gets out of the car and one by one John gives orders out with each person leaving until it’s only you and John left. John leads you through to a room and when you walk in it looks like a green room. Sofas and coffee table with magazines, refreshments including a coffee machine and water cooler. 

The thing that makes it stand out though is the desk with multiple monitors. You can see some of them are looking at the main stage with lights flashing. John walks over to the desk pulling the chair back. 

“This is where you’ll be. Watching us.” John says you walk over sitting in the chair and pulling it under the desk. John comes behind you showing you how to control the cameras, and the rest of the software you’re not used to. 

It’s easy enough, you get a whole overview of the main hall and back passages all the way out to the back parking where you came in. 

“I’m assuming Simon gave you the baby's first guide on how to use the radio?” John asks. 

“Always says over and out. Don’t forget to always call John daddy.” You say teasing him. He sighs. 

“Keep the channel clear as much as possible, you’ll pick up when and when not to talk. Only use call signs.” John reaches forward and flicks open a book. “I wrote them all down, bravo call signs and the others.” 

“Ghost, Soap, Gaz. I get it.” You say looking down the list. Your name is there too. “Watcher one?” 

“Yeah, well, you are watching us.” He says. You nod looking up at him. 

“Anything else I need to know?” 

“You’ll pick it up, I promise. It’s not as daunting as it seems.” He says placing his hands on your shoulder and squeezing. “We’ll take the next few days to test things out, get used to things.” 

“I’m sure I'll figure it out.” You promise him. 

“Yeah you will.” He steps away from you. “C’mon we need to meet with her and her manager. Get instructions from them, paperwork needs signing.” 

You nod, getting up and following him through the back passages of the building, past more greenrooms, changing rooms, the things you would expect to see behind a stage. When you make it to Kira’s room you see Kyle already waiting outside. You watch John talk to Kyle who’s leaning up against a crate of something. 

“How’s it going lass, Price talked your ear off?” He asks, throwing his arm around you. 

“Yeah, he told me all about the real reason for your call sign. You stuck a bar of soap up your ass.” You say. He laughs causing John and Kyle to look over at you both. Johnny walks over to them with open arms calling over at John. You smile watching them as your work phone pings.

You bring it out looking at the notification. She’s doing it again, calling people out only this time it’s not the fan group it’s the terrorists. The same ones Simon was chasing. The ones who killed your brother, Hannah. 

You feel anger rise as you read them. 

“What the fuck.” You say anger thick in your voice you’re almost shaking as adrenaline pumps through you. How dare she. You look up and rush forward bursting through the door to her dressing room. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!” She shouts standing up off the sofa 

“What do you think you’re doing?” You snap back, holding your phone so she can she. She squints at the screen. “You said you would stop posting.” 

“What?” She asks confused, shaking her head.

“My brother was killed. By the terrorists you’re so casually calling out. You might think you’re untouchable but it’s not you who will get hurt, it's innocent people. Like my brother.”

“Are you not going to do anything about this? I want her out of here!” She calls looking past you at whoever is behind you. You know John and Simon are there at least. 

“You did say you would stop the posts.” John says. 

“If you let them think they can win you’re just as bad as them.” She says throwing her hands up then crossing her arms.

“They’re not going to win. What do you think this is some kind of game? These people do actual harm. You can’t be that stupid!” You shout back, you’re shaking with anger. There’s sadness too, your brother's death can’t be for nothing. 

You always thought celebrities don’t care about regular people, this is just hammering that point home. Right now you’re angry and you hate her.

“This is ridiculous. I want you all out of here!” She snaps calling for her manager. A hand comes on your shoulder but that just makes you even more angry. You shrug the hand off and take a step up to her. 

“Look. I really don’t care what you say or what you think is right but you’re putting my friends lives at risk. You’re paying them to put their lives on the line for you. Every time you do this you increase the chance of them getting hurt, actually physical harm do you understand that?” Your voice is low as you look in her eyes leaning forward. 

You see something switch, there’s fear there, she nods closing her mouth. “I don’t care what happens to you but I do care gravely what happens to them. And so help you God if they get hurt because of your stupid, childish actions.” 

“What the bloody hell is going on!” A voice calls out. There's a hand on your shoulder this time pulling you back. You let him turning to look at everyone in the room and Richard, her manager walking in with a confused look on his face. Kira starts shouting as you walk past them all out the room. 

You hear John protesting as the door slams closed behind you. You’re embarrassed the adrenaline is wearing off. You’re thinking about your brother, he’s dead and she’s calling them ‘pussies’ for the world to see. 

Your hands are balled into fists as you look at the ground fighting back the tears. Johnny and Kyle don’t say anything as Simon’s hand lands on the small of your back. You step away wrapping your arms around your chest.

“I’ll meet you back at the van.” You say trying not to let your voice falter as you walk away without looking back.  

You’re half way through a cigarette when Johnny and John walk towards you. You take one last breath before throwing it on the floor and stamping it out. 

“I’m sorry.” You say as soon as John reaches you. He chuckles and you look at Johnny smiling too. 

“You don’t have to apologise to me.” John says. You let out a sigh, yes you do, he’s your boss you let your emotions take over. You should have been professional. 

“You did good.” Johnny says John holds his hand up. 

“She doesn’t want you near her anymore.” John says. You nod, it makes sense.  

“Yeah I assumed that.” You say taking out another cigarette. You’ve just smoked one but you already feel like you need another one. “I’ll just sit in the office, do all the paperwork. Hang out with William.” 

Johnny chuckles again. “You’re not going anywhere. She doesn’t need to know you’re around. We need you to do your job more than she needs to be happy.” 

“What so I have to hide now?” You ask.

“No, you have to do your job. Keep your distance, but more importantly keep us safe.” John says, stepping closer to you. You swallow hard, a lump in your throat. You don’t know if you’re ready to have their life in your hands.

“You can do that right?” John asks, handing you his lighter. You accept it, putting the cigarette between your lips and lighting it. You hand the lighter back to him. 

“Watcher one right?” You say turning your head to blow the smoke away. They smile and John puts the lighter back in his pocket. 

“Watcher one.” John replies.

Next

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[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 55 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 54 | lesson 55.2

not they ended last lesson on the cliffhanger and barely addressed it in this one 🧍🏾

honestly that's on par for someone as closed off as raphael but FUCK i wanted some insight on how he's actually feeling. what's up with angels and not letting themselves show weakness ???

also the fact that this part of the lesson is called "back to the sorcerer's society" ??? mc's had too many death scares i can't keep doing this

gotta get all the mammon crumbs i can now that i know that the stupid date feature is 30 FUCKING DOLLARS 😐 i'm semi p2p but this shit is getting more and more ridiculous as the days drag on. like i'll just use character and and fanfiction atp

it's the way that i forgot the fact that mc's existence can literally tear apart reality at the seams. like that whole thing that happened in season 3 (4?) of og when simeon had to steal lucifer's ring and ended up becoming human bc of it

i feel like his punishment would've been way more lethal if the stakes weren't so dire. mc having lucifer's ring was the only sure fire way to ensure stability within and between the human, celestial, and demon realms without having any of them implode

this also explains why magic sickness is so concerning for mc specifically. to quote marvel, kayden is probably this universe's anchor being. if they go down, so does everything else in the timeline

me and sol got beef now bc what /lh

like yes he did what had to be done but did he HAVE to do what had to be done ????

also the fact that mc broke the measuring device after solomon had to fix it with reinforcements bc he himself broke the device before is so ??? like how fucking strong is mc ??????

this brings even more of a concern to the fact that a war breaking out between any of the realms would literally be life and death. if any of the brothers or their friends family get hurt, mc would cause irreparable damage to whoever or whatever is closest to them, whether the target caused the problem or not. like that's terrifying

this is why i love satan

he's almost more no-bullshit than lucifer is, which makes sense all things considered. in his eyes they still don't know anything about mc's power. all this is to satan is an educated guess, and when it inevitably gets disproved, then what? what if they do end up hurting someone

i doubt that'll happen since there's so little time left in this season but idk. it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility

i'm very glad that they used the very obvious answer as to why mc's powers are going haywire, bc the whole "it's just bc they're so loving and kind" thing just seemed like a cop out to me. like where are the stakes. what about the first 40 lessons of the game

ANYWAYS i'm very interested to see how this'll play out. part of me thinks diavolo and lucifer already know bc 1) they're not stupid and 2) dia is in close enough proximity to the time demon himself to know when something happened to the time stream (or as barbie himself called it, "time soup")

like look at the way barbatos reacted and the way diavolo immediately changed the subject. they both know something's going on, but whether or not diavolo knows the specifics is up in the air

satan is also the funniest mf on the planet idc argue with the wall. he really is the product of all his brothers bc this SCREAMS mammon and levi

:((( poor raph

i honestly can't even imagine what it feels like. the only angels he probably has left that he's actually close to are michael and maybe luke. even then, he probaboy sees luke as someone he can't confide in and feels like he's losing his brother(s) all over again

at least with simeon in purgatory hall, he can delude himself into thinking that simeon's still an angel. but if he's not there anymore, it's all but set in stone that he's lost what little connection he had left to simeon and, in a way, the other brothers, bc luke wasn't around or old enough to remember pre-war times

on a brighter note...michael lore. kinda. and mephisto being a kisser of multiple asses (mephisto fans i'm sorry he's so fun to dog on)

i wish he could get his head outta his ass though. like actually. just pay your boyfriend a visit ffs, he'd be beyond happy to see you

of COURSE he's not in his room and of COURSE this is how the lesson ends

watch lesson 60 end with a michael-related cliffhanger. like watch them tease his design reveal and then just cut the shit off right before he's shown

but i need the michael design asap i'm so serious. solmare count your days

[gl1tchr]

Literally though and that’s what I worry in reeves verse with joker and riddler. Joker is just gonna get the “better treatment” which feels so unfair…?

Like obviously Batman has reasons to hate this riddler lol…but I hope he has a moment of clarity or something, he understands (maybe not consciously) the riddler and his motives, hell their parallels are endless

I hope it’ll evolve into Batman feeling guilty almost for basically creating riddler? I think in general he would, but specifically thinking in terms of “I’m sorry Edward”

Oh friend while I understand you, you Misunderstand me - I LIKE that Batman has that blindspot. It makes him a layered character. You're supposed to be BETTER, believe in GOOD and CHANGE, but for this man you don't? Why do you hold such contempt for this man in particular? And Ohhh how much better than hits in Reevesverse because Edward has DIRECTLY impacted his life in so many ways. I think Battinson will TRY to be better and treat Edward the same way he treats other criminals, with the expectation that they can heal and change, but I don't think he will ever be able to completely quell his contempt for Edward. I think he DOES see the parallels, I think he saw them well before like Joker said he did. And I think that's the thing that often *disgusts* Batman - Riddler is so much like him and is enrages him because he has the drive and ability to be good but doesn't, so even when he does try to get better, Batman still has this anger that he hurt so many people for so long, for what? So NOW you can decide to be good? You're too smart for that. You could've decided a LONG time ago. I LIKE Bruce having that blind rage, it makes him so interesting

[brown-bear-64]

As many gripes as I have with the handling of these two in act 3 (which I've talked about plenty enough by now), one thing I just noticed is this:

"Why yes" you may say, "We all noticed Caitlyn hesitating and worrying about Vi's wound in this scene. So what?" Well you see, that's also where Caitlyn hit Vi with her gun.

Yes it's a bit more centre-ish, but it's the same general area. That's where Caitlyn formed a damn-near irreperable blow to their relationship.

The people working on this show have already established time and time again that what they show is intentional and can carry double meaning. To me this scene speaks to a quiet conversation that Caitlyn and Vi are having, since it has been established that they communicate most through physical touch.

Caitlyn hesitates, not only cause of the wound but because of the invisible one she infliced. She hesitates and keeps her touch gentle, apologetic.

Vi, in one swell swoop makes it clear that it doesn't matter, and that she's moved past it. It's no hinderance to what they are doing now and what they can still be, in her eyes. Which is very in character for Vi in act 3, because this girl does not have any self worth and will jump at the chance of getting any affection, no matter who it's from. Starving dog.

Which, while I find a beautiful thing as a concept, since it shows how well they communicate with their primary love language, it's also... fuck man it's reading into the little details, ones that might not actually be intended as what I'm making them out to be here.

And even if this was intentional, it does not make up for the fact that they didn't have a discussion about what happened in act 1. The hurt that Caitlyn specifically caused Vi. It's brushed over in the most literal way possible, either completely ignored or as stated above, shown in a subtle and unfullfilling way. There is no apology, it gets swept under the rug. Dysfunctional relationship honestly, which would be fine if it didn't feel like a good end-game ship that has reached its happy ending.

Maybe we'll get more content of these two, maybe we'll get stories where they finally unpack everything unstable their relationship is currently built on.

TL;DR: This scene is beautiful through the lense of deeper meaning, or it would be if these two got more focus and actual good development in their relationship instead of just a sex scene that's meant to resolve all that.

This would have worked, it would have been wonderful, if it wasn't the only acknowledgement of what happened between them.

[jules-ln]

Ok you guys I went to sleep at 1 am and woke up at fucking 5 am to watch arcane so here are my thoughts/review:

After I finished it, first of all, I was mad lmao, then I thought about it for a moment and I started crying, but like ugly crying with sobs and everything because holy shit Jayce and Viktor, then I stopped crying, thought about it a bit more, and I got mad Again lmao

Now spoilers

It was a fucking mess lmao

Like seriously what the fuck fortiche, what the fuck Riot, it was such a fucking mess, it was all over the place, the story was rushed, the characters arcs were rushed, there was a lot of things that felt very forced because they didn't have time to let it happen naturally and I can tell a lot of things that would've been good were left in the inkpot

About Cait and Vi: I truly and honestly couldn't have care less about them lmao

I know I know

But I already fucking knew they were going to end up together that Vi was going to forgive Cait for being a fascist etc etc, for me their arc was already finished and I didn't have time to care about them because I was more worried about what the heck would happen to the other characters and how in hell would they wrap up that mess. If they would've cut all their scenes and gave that time to Mel or something, I would've been so fucking happy

Also, the sex scene annoyed me so much lmao, I was thinking "IF YOU WANTED A SEX SCENE YOU SHOULD'VE ADDED ANOTHER SEASON FORTICHE! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT NOW!" lmao

Mel: I liked the concept of her arc, I like the theory, I can see their vision, what they were going for

But in reality it wasn't fucking that

Like, I like the idea of having Mel realize that she was much more than the daughter of her mother, that she had her own value for who she was instead of simply being the blood in her veins. But boy, it didn't feel at all like she realized that lmao

It just felt like she was "now I'm confident enough about myself to confront my mother because the writers said so" like what? This is what I mean when I say that a lot of things felt forced

Viktor: ok, ok I'm just like *heavy sigh*

To be honest part of why I was mad at first was Viktor's character, I was like "So what? You stop being a humanity loving pacifist to become a fucking control freak who hates free will and emotions just like that?" But then I thought about it, and if you frame his arc through Jayce, it actually made sense, because you see, everything he did was for Jayce. When he came back and went to build his cult, I mean, Commune, he was doing their hextech dream, the thing they always wanted, the thing Jayce always wanted

When Jayce went and rejected him by shooting him in the chest (thanks Jayce) he was hurt, he lashed out and wanted to get rid of all emotions, ironically it was a very emotional reaction. So then as soon as Jayce was back with him, he realized his mistake and stopped

So yeah, it makes sense, the problem is that I shouldn't have to stop and piece together a character motivation like that Fortiche what the hell. I know some people say "let the audience do some work!" But I feel like I'm doing all the fucking work here

What they did was great! Good! But just like Mel, give it more fucking time please

And the machine herald design was a bit ugly lmao, like his design in the game looks better, but thinking about it, and looking at the other robots design and how Viktor dresses in the series. I think it makes sense that this specific Viktor would design something like that

EDIT: Oh! I Also forgot to add:

My favorite scene of him was when Jayce was taking out all of those things one by one and Viktor waited until he was done to push them all back LMAO he didn't need to do that

Jayce:

Jayce, what the hell

Like, I understand why Viktor acted like he did, but like, what was up with you?

I mean, the end implied that he knew all along what was going to happen (machine herald, save Viktor etc), but like, why did he acted so angry at the commune then? He seemed so erratic and Angry like he didn't know what was going to happen, but he knew, and then he switched back to normal but like, what was up with all of what happened before? If anything, why didn't just he let Viktor get to the hexgate peacefully and then talk to him? Idk, it just seems to me like Jayce was the character the most affected by the crossfire of the plot happening because the writers had a very specific ending in mind and no time to get to that ending naturally

Also "hextech is bad" Then proceeds to let everyone keep using it lmao

Ambessa and Singed: of all the characters I think these one were the worst of all lmao

Like the plot completely changed Jayce and forced Mel, but like, these two just were put aside? Lmao

Everyone at Fortiche was like "Fuck Ambessa and Fuck Singed" which is a shame because these two were really interesting

Ekko and Jinx:

I think of all the other characters, these two were the best ones

I didn't feel like their arc was forced, it felt like they were given enough time, but you know why? Because their arc started in season 1, in this season they just finished it

The only thing I will complain about is Isha, because it just feels like they used her and completely discarded her after like a broken toy. Like Silco was waaay better handled than her

Heimmerdinger: I mean, I didn't care much about him lmao, he was only there because the plot needed him, and when he wasn't necessary anymore they got rid of him lmao

But it was less obvious than Isha at least

Viktor and Jayce: now, this is the part that got me fucking crying so much, and this along with Ekko and Jinx are the things that make me feel conflicted about this ending and not hate it as much as I would otherwise

It was all left ambiguous, and the cynical part of me thinks "of course they can't make it any more obvious because then the dude bros who main Viktor and Jayce in LoL are going to cry about how they don't want to play as a man who wants to kiss another man"

But if I take it at face value... Ngl guys, it was good

Like how Jayce chose Viktor after everything he did, how Viktor tried to push Jayce away to protect him but Jayce refused to leave, how all they wanted wasn't progress, or fame or power, but simply be together. And they got to be together in the end

Damn, I'm crying again

I JUST FUCKING WISH EVERYTHING AROUND IT WASN'T A MESS!

And I wanted to add, when everyone in Zaun went to help everyone in Piltover to deal with Ambessa, I wouldn't have done that, fuck them, they put a fucking fascist dictator on power, probably made a lot of people "dissappear" and just like that they are like "Guys, we're sorry, we need your help now :(" fuck that

In the end, it doesn't feel like Fortiche earned this ending. Season 2 should've ended with Arc 2, and Arc 3 should've been a whole season

And I can't give it a rating, because I don't know, I didn't like a lot of it, but there were some parts that I really fucking loved

But if someone asked me if it was worth to give the series a try, I would say yes, but don't get your hopes up for the ending lmao

[crepezinhos]

Has anyone ever noticed how most (if not all) soundtrack played when you’re in Tatarasuna resembles Scaramouche? I don’t even think it was intentional, but I need to rant about it down below:

This all started when I was some Nobushi at Inazuma and the game tracked some of them at Tatarasuna, and there I went with my Scaramouche on-field (named Kuni btw), and then out of nowhere this melody started playing:

And if you don’t have Spotify:

It wasn’t the first time I heard this playing in my game, but now that I was finally using my Scara, I genuinely started to feel horrible, no matter if my o jective was site acting me from it or not.

This song really sounds to me what would be the soundtrack playing when Scaramouche was still Kabukimono, wandering around Inazuma after his heartbreaks, trying to find a new home, or destiny while feeling empty and grief for his losses.

And specifically, when the beat ‘drops’ (because there’s no real anticipation in this music), it really sounds like the angry stage of grief, but still sounding soft and sweet just like Kabukimono was. The only moment of anger we saw coming from Kabukimono in the game was when that orphan kid died, and he was angry at that death, the world, his mother, the Archons, and himself. That’s why he immediately broke down in tears afterwards, he was in grief once again, just like this songs sounds like to my ears. But, since it does still sounds more error and negative rather than comforting to me, I interpret this music as Kabukimono deciding to transition from Inazuma to Snezhnaya and from Kabukimono to Kunikuzushi/Scaramouche.

That’s why I felt so horrible while playing with Wanderer there. All that grief and commotion in Tatarasuna, caused because of his existence, is now just a memory in the back of his mind. No one remembers it. No one remembers the beautiful, innocent puppet boy who roamed in search of a home and his own mother and attracted the eyes of the Fatui to that cursed land. Not even Ei remembers all the pain she unintentionally led Scaramouche to suffer, which hurts the most to me. She’ll walk through those toxic lands without any notion of the suffer her own son went through in there because of her neglect of him. And even if I have hopes that they’ll meet each other again, I don’t believe it would be a fair conversation (aka, Hoyoverse forgiving Ei’s actions and considerably-bad-writing in a blink just for the sake of her popularity in the fandom). And honestly, just imagining Wanderer walking my through the lands of Inazuma again, after so many years and traumas, makes me sick to the stomach, specifically one where he’d be in search of his mother again like Kabukimono used to do too.

Not that I think Scaramouche shouldn’t forgive Ei, but knowing how Hoyoverse glazes her, I’m pretty sure that he’d be just be like ‘Yeah, whatever’ and Ei still wouldn’t make any efforts to compensate him due to that approval.

But, going back to the point, I really do wonder if, by the time they were creating this and the other soundtracks for Tatarasuna, they had Scaramouche’s character in mind. I personally don’t believe that was their intention, but some people appear to believe on it. When I was reading the comments of the video, in search of anyone who felt the same way about that soundtrack and Scaramouche, I found this:

Another comment also pointed out that the ‘beat drop’ was a less intensified version of Scaramouche’s boss theme too (specifically in the Dominatus part). Do I personally see it? No, but both themes still sound a little similar to me in the end.

Anyway, I think this is end of my little rant about Scaramouche’s character and the sound representation of him. Hope this was somehow enjoyable to read about.

If you’re still unsure whether you understand me, I’d recommend do the same as me. Go to Tatarasuna (specifically in the forge), play the song and walk (no sprint) with Wanderer around it. Maybe that’ll make you understand, because there’s no way I’m the only who genuinely feels this emotional with Scaramouche’s lore.

Istg this man had a cultural and emotional impact on me…

[unfortunatelyevent]

now can I say that I low-key had been shipping Luca/Nash since like the first time Nash was in an episode maybe (no specific reason just liked their chemistry) and now I'm high-key devasted 😃

[yellowocaballero]

Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?

Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!

I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.

I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.

I am going to talk about the prologue.

The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.

Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.

But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.

They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.

I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?

Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.

Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.

At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.

What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.

It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.

But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.

ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?

When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.