#why were they even allowing literal children around scissors like that

[meggie-moo]

when life is hard i know shoujo manga has got me 😫

[mrs-march-ahs]

Hi! I have a request~ The Evans reactions to losing in any sort of game. Can be board games or video games 😅

The Evans Losing At Games

Headcannons for all, imagines for some!

Cute idea, thank you! I didn’t write much for Jimmy, I’m sorry Jimmy I love you<3

Enjoy:)

Tate

-Clearly a teenage boy who lets emotions build up a lot -Definitely cheats if he’s had enough -If he keeps losing in the same part of the video game and rage quits, it takes him forever to get back into the game - “Ohhhh… I forgot that’s where I let off… fuck it” (quits) -Much better and calmer at playing cards, and generally prefers games were the two of you can talk and he doesn’t have to focus too much

--

You laid on your bed, scrolling aimlessly through social media, and occasionally glancing at Tate playing a video game he hasn’t played in a while. When you started talking about games, and you told him you had it, he nostalgically reminisced how much he used to play it when he was alive, so you set it up for him. Every few minutes, when a red screen would pop up, Tate would sigh, and with every passing death, his sighs got louder and angrier.

After only maybe half an hour of playing, Tate clearly couldn’t take it anymore, and threw the control towards the floor, before stomping over to shut the console and TV off. The sound made you flinch, and you had never seen Tate angry before. Nor his body language nor face showed his emotions, just his actions, and when he flopped by your side, he looked fine. If somebody had come in right now, they would just see two teenagers laying next to each other.

“Uhhh… you okay?”, you ask, before rolling over to face him. You poke at his chubby cheek as he stares up at the ceiling and tease him. “Sore loser”.

“Shut up, it’s your fault. You reminded me why I wasn’t allowed to play this game for very long”.

“Wanna play something else? Together? We could play Dragon Ball Z?”, you ask quietly, before going back to your childish sing-song teasing. “Be nice, and I’ll even let you win a few times!”

Tate looks over at you and huffs, before sitting up and getting the controllers, “Good thing you’re used to begging me for mercy”

Kit

-Least sore loser out of them all -Always up for a rematch -He’s pleasant even when he does win - “Want a rematch sugar? So you can have another shot at beating me?” - “Ah you were close, you’re getting good” - “You’re a good rival” - “If I lose, you can drag me to that Rom Com you wanted to see” - “If I win, we make more babies” -Pretends to be competitive when he’s playing with the kids - “I would say Team Girls vs Team Boys… but that’s not fair, the two of you don’t even stand a chance, right Tommy?” -If one of the kids beat him, he’d act super dramatically to give them as much satisfaction of winning -Laser tag is 34 years before Kit’s time, but if he played something like that, he’d try to let the kids win

--

You ran around the garden and chased a giggling Julia. Because of current financial issues, the power was out, but not wanting to worry the children to much, and not wanting them to ask too many questions, you and Kit decided to make the most of the sun and tire them out before it got dark. Kit, being the big kid he is, suggested playing a tag-like game Thomas invented, where you each get three pebbles each, and try to get each other out by throwing them. Gently. Unless you were throwing them at Kit.

Julia started slowing down when she reached the corner of the house, hoping to hide from you, but you were right behind her, making her turn around and burst out in giggles. When the 5-year-old laughed, the only thing you could see was the missing tooth she donated to the tooth fairy last night. Once you circled all around the house, you come back in view of the garden, and see Julia hiding behind Kit.

“That’s cheating!”, he exclaims, trying to run away from her and toss a pebble in her direction, only for her to do it faster. The second Julia’s tiny rock hits Kit’s tummy and bounced, he put his hands over his stomach and held it like a gun wound. He dropped to the floor dramatically, leaving the two little kids to die of laughter, and you walk over to him, Kit peeping open one eye slightly to see if you were watching him, and then stuck his tongue out to play dead. You picked up a stick from the floor and poked at his chest, making Kit chuckle but quickly hide it.

“Is it dead?”, you ask.

Thomas leans in closer to look at his dad on the floor, before Kit opens his eyes and pulls Tommy to the floor with him, rolling over to be on top of him.

“I win!”, Kit announces, before kissing his son on the cheek.

Franken Kyle

-He doesn’t particularly play complicated games, but he isn’t too patient and gets frustrated with himself pretty easily -If on one of his educational games, he messes something up too many times in a row, he’ll shut off the game and throw the tablet on the bed -He’ll avoid even looking at it -If he loses a tickle fight he’ll sit and whine, straddle you and then tickle you until you beg him to stop -Whines even if he loses at rock paper scissors -He likes colouring and drawing, and because it’s good for his motor skills, the two of you made a really simple game together -You drew out a long snake shape on a big piece of paper and drew lines in between for the spaces -Kyle carefully coloured them in with pencil and with a marker you wrote occasional things like ‘Go back two spaces’ or ‘Go forward three spaces’ -Sweet little Ky would roll the dice, and take his time, pushing his little figurine, which was something like a pencil sharpener or a bottle cap, and counted out the spaces -Got super excited if he won, but wouldn’t mind losing -He would insist the two of you keep playing, and you’re only allowed to stop and go to bed if you end on him winning -Sometimes he would try to let you win so that you could keep playing -Whine and pout if you had to stop playing, and how are you meant to say no to him? -You would have to promise you’ll play tomorrow -You’d be able to slowly make more and more complicated games, until eventually he’d be able to play things like checkers or Ludo

Jimmy

-Lowkey a sore loser -If there were loads of different people playing, he would be a lot more friendly -If he lost, he would still be super annoyed, but just wouldn’t show it -But if it was the two of you, he’d be super competitive -The type of person to flip the board game if he was losing -But he’d apologise straight away and pout if you didn’t want to play with him again - “C’mon let’s play again, I’ll be nice this time” - “Loser gets spanked” -Loves playing games like beer pong

James

-Unpleasant loser but also not a pleasant winner -Bitter compliments if you win at cards - “Well done darling, who would have thought with your high school education you were such a poker master” -Only willing to play the same 5 card games, because if you teach him a new board game he is not familiar with and he loses, he’ll claim it’s only because he’s new to the game -Absolutely infuriated if he loses at Monopoly, since he built a hotel after all -Don’t even bother trying to teach him how to play a video game -And of course - “Only amateurs keep score”

--

“What are you doing, dear?”, James said, fascinated at your little character wandering around a shop, on the screen in front of both of you.

“I’m trying to buy this plant, but I don’t have enough money, I want to see if I can sell anything I have”, you explain, pointing at your backpack filled with items that you can exchange for spare coins.

“Nonsense, darling, why don’t you simply stab the storekeeper and steal what you desire?”

“Because this is Animal Crossing, James, there isn’t a stab button”

Kai

-Kai likes playing video games or board games with literally anybody apart from you -He likes playing with Ozzy because he’s a kid so most of the time Kai can beat him easily -Definitely not the type of person to let the kid win, even if Ozzy is sobbing and Ally asks him to let Ozzy win once in a while - “Winning fairly will feel so much better for him” - “He won’t appreciate success if he doesn’t first taste failure” -Sometimes instead of story time with his troops he’ll play some board games -At first, everybody will keep letting Kai win out of fear -But eventually someone will win, and everybody else will be fearful for them, scared Kai will be angry - “Finally somebody capable, somebody strong, not scared to show their true capabilities” -But if you ask him to play a game with you, he probably won’t -If you eventually beg enough that he will agree to play a game with you, he’ll tell you he’s only playing one -If you win, he’ll be like, “Okay, are you happy now?” - “Finally it’s over” - “I let you win, are you happy?” -But if he wins, he’ll try to get you to play a few more games - “Are you giving up already?” - “Don’t be a sore loser, rise up to the challenge” - “I assumed you wanted to win, not just to play”

- (Kai loses) “See… you have to give a humiliated man a chance to redeem himself in his own ey-”

[ogravensimp]

Dad!Constantine AU: Rhiannon

first one shot in my Dad!Constantine AU but there is plenty more of this to come so enjoy and make sure to tell me what you think :D

"John? What's that? Is it a tool to help us practice today? John? Is tha-”

Constantine couldn't help but chuckle at the string of questions coming from behind him. He began to think about how less than a few months ago the little girl would barely say a word a day…now he can’t get her to ever shut up.

He turned around and looked down at the tiny figure that sat cross-legged on his rug, who only looked back up at him with confusion in her huge purple eyes. Unlike the ancient power that was leaking out of her, the child in front of him looked exactly as harmless as you'd expect a 7-year old to look.

With her dark-plum hair unevenly clipped short to reach her chin and choppy bangs to cover the red gem on her forehead, it really gave you the illusion that she was a normal human child. And John liked to pretend that the terrible haircut helped achieve a more ‘innocent’ look and in fact, better hid her demonic origins…but that was probably just his only defence against his conscience that nagged at him for not going to a professional.

But hey, she was the one that begged him to cut off her originally waist-length hair and he gave it his best shot with the tools at his disposal—which happened to only be a pair of kitchen scissors, an old magazine for reference and a faded ruler for 'accuracy', but at least Raven seemed happy enough.

He felt his lip tug as he remembered how she had childishly bobbed her head left and right in the mirror afterwards; enjoying the liberation of short hair.

It seemed Azarath’s refusal to cut her hair off was the only thing the kid seemed to dislike about the place.

In fact, she had thrown a near fit when John recommended they ditch the tattered white Azarathian robes he had found her in when he pulled her from the depths of hell. He looked at her current outfit and noted that she seemed to have grown quite comfortable with the human clothes given to her.

She currently donned a large purple knit sweater and a pair of baggy jeans with flowers sewn on the legs. They were probably in style twenty years ago and weren't even her size but John had limited knowledge on where to find children's clothes(or about children in general) and assumed she'd just 'grow into them someday' when he had chosen them from a local thrift store.

Again, as long as Raven liked them.

"This, my little angel, is a music record," he held up the square packaging to her and made a show of sliding out the large disk inside, "This plays music. They allow music up in that Azarath place of yours or just prayers?"

"In Azarath? No, not really," John noticed whenever that cult of her's was brought up, she'd always lower her tone and look down at her fingers as if apprehensive of speaking wrong of them—John didn't know why though, they sounded like a bunch of wankers to him, "Azar said that music is a distraction that would only disrupt my mind by causing me to feel...feelings."

John felt the melancholy in the air as she spoke. It was rare she shared anything; for a kid, she was pretty secretive and John couldn't help but push to know more about his new ward, "And that's a no go, ey?"

"Only for me." She seemed almost smaller now, trying to hide deeper in her baggy clothes—maybe that's why she never pushed for more accurately sized clothes, "The others would sometimes gather to sing mantras in the courtyard as that’s the only type of music allowed but during those times Azar would always put me in the highest tower so I never really heard anything but muffles.”

John sighed.

Sometimes he didn't know if those quacks in Azarath wanted to actually raise Raven or terminate her but the more he learnt, the more he found the answer leaning towards the latter.

He crossed the living room in one large step and kneeled to be face to face with the little girl who stared up at him, nervous, "Listen, angel, I don't know much about Azarathian chants but I do know...", this time he allowed the girl to touch the record—though gently, "Fleetwood Mac. The best band in the world."

"What makes them so special?", Raven asked softly as she marvelled at the disc in her hand; holding it like it was a precious treasure.

John smiled— something he found himself doing a lot of since the arrival of this certain hellspawn. Plucking the records from the girl's small hands, he stood up and reapproached the player he was standing by, "Let me tell you a little secret in the magical community, love."

He placed the record on the player before dropping the pin and quickly turning, excited to see the reaction on the girl's face. Raven just looked confused, her mini caterpillar eyebrows scrunching up on her forehead as the guitar intro began.

"Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night And wouldn't you love to love her?"

He plopped onto the floor next to Raven and turned to her, "You hear her? Like a voice from heaven, innit?"

The little girl just nodded, probably unsure of the right answer.

"Takes to the sky like a bird in flight And who will be her lover?"

"Her name is Stevie Nicks and she's...one of us," He made a gesture of pointing between both of them to symbolise his point, his smile growing as her amethyst eyes twinkled in interest, " The 'White Witch' we call her but non-supernatural's don't know nothing about that, all they hear is the music but we, we can truly hear her."

"All your life you've never seen Woman taken by the wind

Would you stay if she promised you heaven? Will you ever win?"

Taking her tiny palms in his, he instructed, “Now I want you to focus on your inner soul.”

She obediently followed instructions, letting her eyes fall closed and she instantly shifts to focus mode with an expression as still as a statue.

"She is like a cat in the dark And then she is to darkness

She rules her life like a fine skylark And when the sky is starless"

Through her delicate skin, he could feel her once-raging magic begin to ease from the form of a ceaselessly pouring tsunami to simple irregular waves in a vast ocean.

"Would you stay if she promised you heaven? Will you ever win? Will you ever win?"

See, with Stevie Nicks being a witch herself, it only makes sense that some of her magic got laced inro all her music. Magic that had the properties to almost soothe one's magical core and opened up internal gates that were causing a blockage in one's being.

Similar to meditation. Just a whole lot more fun.

John simply didn’t believe in all that meditation stuff that Raven so pliably relied on and if he was going to take her in, it was his duty to teach her the many other ways she can control her abilities.

"Rhiannon Rhiannon Rhiannon Rhiannon"

"I can feel it...I can feel what she's saying." Raven's voice was so soft that John almost didn't catch what was spoken.

Suddenly there was an intense spike in the calm aura that's once surrounded them. He felt the hands in his grasp tense as her once still expression drastically changed.

"She rings like a bell through the night And wouldn't you love to love her?"

Her small face was soon blown in full panic. Sweating like bullets, her already drained of life skin seemed even paler and the strength she used to struggle suppressed what a child of her stature should be able of achieving but John made sure to hold tight.

"She rules her life like a bird in flight And who will be her lover? All your life you've never seen Woman taken by the wind"

"John I don't like this! I...I can feel too much... make it stop!", Her eyelids shuddered as she seemed to be forcing them to stay shut.

Continuing to wiggle in his grasp, the magic concentration in the room got thicker and thicker making it harder to breathe but this was exactly what needed to happen and John knew this. So even though her hurting voice made his heart shatter, he had no choice but to steel his resolve in the face of her cries and just hope it will pay off, “John!? John, please….DAD!”

John didn’t know what hurt more, the way her demonic magic was stabbing him like shards of glass in his skin or the pain in her voice as she called him the title he never in his life thought he’d be referred as.

"Would you stay if she promised you heaven? Will you ever win? Will you ever win?"

“This is all your magic, angel, you got to feel your magic. Can't just lock it up, this is all you,”, he gritted his teeth while he was explaining, and filled with some unknown determination, he spat out a phrase he normally tried to avoid, “you have to trust me.”

Raven’s eyes flew open at that, revealing the orbs of amethyst that were wetting with tears. Her little mind struggled to wrap around the statement John had just said and for a moment she just stared at him. It felt like the longest moment of John’s life because he knew her empathic abilities could see the nervous wreck he truly is and he worried that would dissuade her.

For a second there was no action.

"Rhiannon Rhiannon Rhiannon"

Until, much to John’s surprise, she nodded, “ok…I trust you.”

And John could literally feel the truth in her words as she stopped struggling in his hands and started to return back to the focused zone she had been in before.

This time though, her eyes were open and staring straight at him but John found himself not minding.

“Good.” John took on the role of closing his eyes as he began to concentrate.

"Taken by taken by the sky" "Taken by taken by the sky" "Taken by taken by the sky"

He wasn’t going to just burden a 7-year-old with whatever destructive sorcery that was sealed in her small body, it was his job as her teacher and her…dad to try and guide the freed magic back to her core.

But for that, he needs to concentrate real hard.

The moment John could feel air moving in his lungs again, he knew he had succeeded. Opening his eyes up, he was met with the same pools of purple still staring.

“So, how’d you feel?”

"Dreams unwind Love's a state of mind Dreams unwind Love's a state of mind"

That was when Raven finally broke eye contact and instead looked down at her fingers, not in nervousness but this time in amazement, as if she could see the magic in her fingertips, “I don’t know…tingly.”

This time Constantine let a deep genuine laugh escape his throat at her childish choice of words, “That’s good, means your magic is finally spreading. If you ask me that’s a better option than keeping it all sealed up.”

Raven tilted her head to the side, once again confused.

Constantine didn’t blame her though, her little head was probably going through something similar to a whirlwind at this point.

After all, in her first few years of life, she had lived a life of nothing but restriction and then he spawns from nowhere finds and brings her from hell, seals her oh-so scary father in said hell and then begins to dismantle everything she’s ever been thought to believe in, in the first place.

Must be a lot for a 7-year-old to bear.

Luckily though, Raven is 7 and they aren’t known for dwelling on things for too long.

“Do you have any more songs like that?” She asked, now focused on the player that stood in silence now that the record had reached its end.

John smirked at that, “Oh plenty more of where that came from and we aren’t gonna stop at just Fleetwood, we got some Zeplin, Rolling Stones and…”

Raven just nodded, again, not knowing the right answer and simply letting herself be ‘educated’ on all things that John Constantine had to offer.

In her opinion, this was far more fun than her old teachings.

yes I got the Stevie Nicks is a witch from ahs coven, so expect a lot more supernatural TV crossovers in this AU cause they're now my obsession

[seancekitsch]

Not to Touch the Earth

this is a prize buck 60s au bc apparently i have enough of an ego to do that

a/n & warnings: drug reference, alcohol references, no actual drug use, unprotected car sex, use of the word daddy, roughness, cult references, orgy references, none of this is even really prize buck canon but yknow we might reference it again for a joke or two. natural born killers reference also

“Some outlaws lived by the side of a lake, The minister's daughter's in love with the snake,” you sing off-key, “Who lives in a well by the side of the road. Wake up, girl, we're almost home!”

You punctuate the end of the verse by howling out the window of the car Klaus was using, voice being swallowed by the vastness of the desert somewhere on the California border. Klaus drove on, trying to remember a time you were ever so free. He figures you probably never were, not sober. Not totally sober like now. He was coming up on three years, you on six months, and your new favorite activity was definitely driving out into the desert, as far away from Klaus’ little commune as possible, and singing songs that hadn’t been written yet and making love on the hood of the car. 

He smiles and looks over, watching you lean out the window bathing in the golden light of the sunset and he has to laugh. Is this just what you’re like in a car? Or is it being trapped in time? Your first week here was spent avoiding any of his followers and trying to talk to any of the universities in San Francisco, but none of them would hire you because a woman with a doctorate was rare, and a woman professor was even rarer. You stopped trying in a fit of anger after one Dean told you your ‘husband was a brave man for letting his wife become so educated’ before offering to let you take undergraduate classes because those were available to women. So you leaned into helping him hide from the Destiny’s Children. You had fun here. You kept each other in check being sober, you kept him from being fully engulfed by the group. You like these people, you just wish they didn’t like you and your partner as much as they do.

But the times when the two of were alone were the best. Klaus loves stealing you away from everyone else and being with you like everything’s normal. He loves you without that twinge of shame you carry with you, without waking up with tears in your eyes and thinking he doesn’t notice them. You haven’t been crying or hiding it from him here. He loves how goofy you allow yourself to be, the way you don’t constantly hold yourself back.  He remembers back on earlier today, when you’d snuck up on him, licked a warm stripe up his neck and sang lyrics from the very song you were piecing together now.

“Not to touch the earth, not to see the sun. Nothin left to do but run run run,” you sang, only for him.

“Let’s run.”

You didn’t have to say it again before he grabbed the nearest set of car keys and was swatting at your ass to get you running for the passenger seat. 

You feel the hot air hit your skin, and you can’t remember a time you ever actually liked the heat. You never saw yourself even visiting southern California. Sobriety re-introduced you to the cold and you greeted her like an old lover. You like your cold weather and your jackets and your fucking hospital socks you stole and stockpiled which now didn’t even exist yet. But the heat here is different, it kisses your skin like Klaus does, frees you from the burdens of life fifty years from now. The heat is a reminder that you don’t have the struggles you had in 2019, the heat is a reminder you can rebuild yourself. You know you have to go back sometime, but you can be selfish and steal this time with Klaus. You squint into the setting sun on the horizon as Klaus makes the car slow, then veers off the empty road to park. You’d have the moonlight soon, which meant a cool night with him all to yourself. By the time he walks around to your side of the car, he blocks the sun from your view. Your eyes trail up from the tip of that ugly fucking beard he’s got growing to his chin, to his lips. To the grin he sports, saves only for you.

“Do you think they’ve noticed were gone?”

“Why? Worried Keechie’s missing you?” you snort.

“Keechie? God, no. Although, if I were you I’d be worried Madelaine was getting lonely by now”

Right; you were hiding from two members of the group in particular. Your first mistake was attempting to have sex in a five mile radius of the group. You didn’t think they’d barge into your tent and invite themselves to join. But, ever the adventurous and slightly stupid, you let them. Now two of the four that had been in your tent  were trying to recreate that moment again.

“Not my fault I rocked her world. You jealous, Prophet?”

“At first I was impressed because I didn’t think you swung that way, but yes. Yes, terribly.”

That probably isn’t much of a joke. Sobriety put a bit of a possessive streak in Klaus, and as much free love is flowing, it’s nice to feel like you belong to someone. And you do belong to Klaus, in every way that counts for your group. But you’d struck a chord with Madelaine and now shes creeping in on Klaus’ territory.  

He pulls you from the car, literally pulls you. His hands come up under your armpits and lift you from the car window until you can step out of the window and he can lower you down onto the sand. He’s thankful you’ve learned your lesson, as the last time he did this you weren’t wearing sandals and burned your feet on the sand. He bends to let you pluck the wide brimmed hat from his head and you place it on your own as you walk to the trunk to fetch a blanket. Dancing, not walking, he thinks. The way you walk is more like dancing. You grab a blanket from the trunk and sit with him until it’s night. You sit with him close enough to reach out and touch, but not quite. It’s in these moments you can close your eyes and perfectly imagine you’re back in your studio apartment with him, listening to the record player and sharing a bottle of wine, thinking about the narrowly avoided apocalypse and job hunting for him. You can close your eyes and imagine inviting his siblings over to crowd your apartment for a loud night of laughing and take out. You can hold his hand and think of how very little space the two of you took up in the world and how comforting it felt. 

When you open your eyes again it’s dark. Perfect. Night falls quickly in the desert. You look over to see Klaus equally as relaxed, an easy smile painted across his entire face, worry lines smoothed away.  He hums a song you recognize.

“Sweet Jane? Don’t you think that’s a little too ‘Mickey and Mallory’ for us?”

He hums a little more of the song before he answers.

“I was just thinking if we mixed blood in a wedding ceremony our paramours would leave us alone,” there’s a hint of something dark in his eyes, “Now get on the hood.”

It’s the way that he says it, low and commanding, that has you jumping up onto the hood of the car and eagerly arranging yourself in a provocative pose, legs splayed and leaning on your arms to arch you back a little, just to entice him even more. That’s all part of the dance, and here more often than not he leads. He commands and positions you the way he likes it and rewards you in kind. He actually looks a bit like a god figure or a superhero the way he saunters over to you in the dark and crawls above you onto the hood, sandal clad feet standing on the grill so he has more leverage for what he has in mind. 

“Now, are you ready for Daddy?

You have to snort at that.

“Daddy? If anyone is daddy here, it’s me babe.”

He grips your bare thigh, just above the knee, then gives it a little warning slap. Not hard, just a little more than nothing.

“I don’t think you’re in the position to call yourself anything besides what I feel like calling you, doctor.”

Any retort to that comment, which honestly stung a little, died on your tongue when a low growl rumbles from his throat and his mouth connects with your stomach, biting at the cloth of your tank top and the skin underneath. You sink back down and stare at the stars, whimpering as you count them and let Klaus tease you as he undresses you. 

“If you were the prophet I’d be entirely devoted to you,” He says as he pulls your shorts down your legs, “I’d follow you everywhere on Earth, I’d do anything you asked of me.”

“Don’t you already?” you laugh.

“I do,” He confirms, “I do, I do, I do” and punctuates each confirmation with a little nip at the inside of your thigh, the same one he had just slapped. The beard he’s been growing out tickles as you squirm beneath him, hands roaming wherever they wish but solidly keeping you in place for him. You think back on your first time with him, how eager he’d been to please, how you wanted to be the one he was pleasing, and how far you’ve come together. His fingers wind up your legs like ivy on an old statue and pause at your underwear, teasing for a moment, before pulling them aside and plunging two fingers into you without warning. He pushes them in deep, scissoring them back and forth a few times, before pulling them back out, and sucking on them. If youre moaning or swearing, you can't hear yourself. An appetizer for a meal, or something equivalent of that. The delighted moan that echoes from his throat as he sucks you from his fingers sends shivers up your spine, just knowing you're in for it tonight. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you dare to meet his eyes, dark and stormy and hungry for you. He has the audacity to give you his sweetest smile before roughly pulling your underwear away from your body and heavily dropping his knee onto the car hood between your own. Klaus himself is intoxicating, you didn't need drugs or alcohol. It was so easy for him to consume your senses, and you readily let him. And when he finally kisses you, you feel yourself drowning. Really truly drowning. The way his tongue dances with your own has you gripping his shoulders like hes the last rock before a riptide pulling you under. It takes him no time at all to have his pants undone and to be grinding himself against you. This is a glimpse of the Klaus of 2019, humping against you and gently whimpering into your mouth. But quickly he pushes that away, lining himself up with you and pulling back enough from you to make eye contact as he pushes himself in. No matter how domineering he could be in the 60s with you, he makes sure to look at you, to ask those silent questions, to be granted that permission to absolutely take over you.With each thrust, long and deep, punctuated with a needy moan, he takes a little more of you. And you willingly let him, and give him everything you can. 

You probably look like one of those renaissance paintings beneath him, as he thrusts hard deep fast, your breasts exposed like all of the biblical women, your body contorted on the hood of the car, like one of those angels in anguish. There was no where for your hands to find purchase that wasn't Klaus, so your hands are far up behind you, palms planted on the windshield to give yourself a better angle, a better arch of your back for Klaus to wrap his arms firmly around you, so he could kiss your chest and the long expanse of your neck and shoulders while he kept his pace. He held you as lose as possible, and for a moment you imagine its just him. You as nothing but an extension of himself, your pleasure mixing and becoming his pleasure. When he got like this, its easy to imagine he didn't have many lovers before you that cared that much about his pleasure. Sure they probably thought he was a fun time, as that was a given, but it was probably rare someone actually cared about what he was feeling. You like that he trusts you with this bare part of himself. No, you love it. You love-

A deep moan from his mouth vibrates against your breast, you feel it even more than you hear it, and it brings you back to where you are now, looking down at his lust filled, indulgent expression. 

“Keep looking at me,” he commands, thrusting harder, making you almost squeak at the angel he's hitting, “It's just me, and you, and the coyotes out here.”

Your hands scramble to grab the sides of his face as you start to move your hips to fuck back against his thrusts, eager to come for him while hes watching you. Any attempt to praise him comes out as stuttered moans and fragments of words, but there's a devilish smile on his face that tells you he knows what you're saying. 

He pulls one arm from under you, slams it on the car below right next to your head, and goes in for the kill. He’s merciless in his thrusts as he kisses and nips at your fingers that he can reach. He doesnt guide you but throws you off of the cliff into bliss, a scream parting from your lips as he refuses to slow his pace. This more dominant and possessive Klaus is wild, selfish in a beautiful way. In his face you see indulgence personified, a modern Dionysus filling each urge that swept over you. He doesn't let you calm down, doesn't let you catch your breath, overstimulating you as he reaches his own release. He comes equally as loudly, with a shout of your name and “oh, lover” tumbling from his lips before he stills, and captures your lips on his own. 

He kisses you slowly, like he's drinking in the taste of you, holding you still, feeling your skin melt with his. It's hard to tell where he ends and you begin, but you prefer it this way. It's just the two of you in the desert. Just the two of you in the world. There's plenty of water in the canteen, and after a drink to refresh you, you'll be tearing at each other again, just far enough off the road no one will see you. He pulls out of you with a hiss, like it hurts him not to be inside of you, and you find yourself involuntarily whining at the loss as well. He grabs the canteen and returns to put it to your lips, then his own, then you sit and talk of nothing and everything sweet, needlessly flirting and preening each others egos with loving words until you're both ready to go again. It continues like this until one of you falls asleep on the other. This is the desert routine. 

When you wake around sunrise, covered in bruises and hickies, hair tangled to hell, you're wrapped in the blanket from the trunk, Klaus’ shirt used as your pillow. He’s just outside, naked as you are, greeting the dawn. Something about his posture beckons you to join him, and on shaking legs you pull yourself from the car, unsteadily stepping until you can wrap your arms around his torso, his hand reaching to grab for you and sliding over your shoulders. He repositions you so you stand together, not with you behind him. The way its supposed to be. And then the moment the sun is fully in the sky, he greets it by crowing like a rooster. Loudly, freely. You join in.

[collecting-stories]

Blue Lagoon - ep. 01 - Rafe Cameron

Summary: Ward announces a family vacation while being the absolute worst and you meet Rafe for the first time. 

A/N: Can’t believe I’m making a Rafe series...super nervous about this one. If you like the first chapter and wanna be tagged let me know! (Also, all the chapters are named after beach cocktails). This is a re-write of Chapter 1!

Holiday in the Sun Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

Thirteen had been a tragic year. The year of braces and that terrible hair cut that could only be described as the love child of a bowl cut and a mullet. Your best friend had taken scissors to your hair and you had regretted it ever since. It was the year of hoodies and basketball shorts and more layers than Billie Eilish. The year you fell and busted up your face so bad that you suffered through vacation with a bruise the size of Texas on your jaw. The year all your friends caught up to you but you were still taller and your boobs were still bigger and you still felt more awkward. 

The worst thing about thirteen though, had been the vacation. It was the first time your mom had decided to do a joint vacation to the Bahamas over break. You were thirteen and an absolute tragic mess and already so embarrassed just by your existence and then she flew you to the Bahamas to spend Christmas with the Camerons. 

And if Rafe wasn’t already so attractive and beautifully self-assured; fifteen and already tall and funny and you felt arguably worse about yourself in comparison to him and his sister. But especially him. And part of that was entirely because he’d been so nice. You were fully prepared for him to treat you like every other kid at your school treated you but he didn’t. He was so nice to you and you’d spent a vacation that you thought was going to be horrible having an incredible time. 

But that was the last of the joint family vacations, your mom focusing her time on her new job once you’d gotten home, so you were surprised when she proposed the idea again your junior year of high school. 

“The Bahamas?” 

“Over Christmas...with the Cameron’s.” Your mom replied, barely looking up from her notepad. 

“Oh uh, okay,” there wasn’t much else you could say. She wasn’t about it accept a no from you and yeah, the last trip had been fun, but that nervous insecurity ate away at you from the moment she mentioned it. 

You certainly weren’t the tragic thirteen-year-old mess that you had been back then, and maybe that should have inspired some confidence but instead you were just nervous. If you had gotten arguably better than what did Rafe look like? Probably even more gorgeous than he’d been before. One of your friends suggested trying to find him on instagram but you didn’t need any more anxiety pre-vacation so you avoided the possibility of seeing him before you really saw him at all.  

-

It was Rose who first suggested the little change of scenery for the New Year. Winter break was fast approaching and Ward was at the end of his rope with his oldest and Rose, in an ill-fated attempt to make his exhaustion work for her, mentioned the house in Nassau. Late at night, while Ward sat in his office trying to calm his nerves with a bottle of scotch. He’d been woken by a call from Peterkin that Rafe had been arrested, the third time in two months, for driving under the influence. He didn’t ask what his son was under the influence of and he almost left him in lockup for the night but he got dressed, picked him up, and drove him home in silence. Something had to change and then Rose broached the topic of a vacation. Of course it came with a catch, as everything with Rose seemed to do.  

“Dad,” Sarah groaned, looking up from her homework when he announced the trip over breakfast the next morning. “you can’t be serious?”

Ward had come down to breakfast, calling Rafe into the kitchen where Sarah and Wheezie were already eating. He didn’t hate Rose’s idea, even the part of it that benefitted her need to show off, and he decided not to waste time telling his kids the news.  

“As a heart attack Sarah.” He replied. “It’s been a busy year and I think this is exactly the kind of family trip we all need right now. Take some time away from the island and our,” he looked across the room at Rafe disdainfully, “more objectionable pastimes.”

“It was one DUI.” Rafe said, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He was still a little hungover from the night before and the weed he’d just been smoking had his eyes bloodshot. He would’ve really loved to get some sleep but just as he was starting to doze off Ward was banging on his bedroom door.  

“And it would’ve been your third if Peterkin didn’t owe me a favor. I’ve only got so much clout Rafe, I can’t keep bailing you out every time you decide to do something reckless. Your choices-”

“Reflect the family.” Rafe replied, “I know.”  

“Then you’ll know this isn’t up for discussion. We’re going to Nassau in a week.”

All of them missed Wheezie’s groan as she laid her head in her hands. The silent onlooker to her family’s revolving door of drama, Wheezie’s role was that of mediator, instigator, and observer, but she wasn’t granted the privilege of an opinion.

“I’m supposed to go to the Keys with Scarlett!” Sarah mentioned, as if it mattered, “why do we all have to be punished just because Rafe screwed up?”

“I didn’t screw up Sarah, I was barely drunk. Shoupe was just trying to give me a hard time.”

“Oh, of course, our mistake.” Ward replied, “the world is out to get you. Do you know where your classmates are right now? In college. Yale, Harvard, Duke, even NCS...and where are you? That’s right, sitting at home every day, smoking weed, wasting my money.”

“I said I’d do some work for you.”  

“Because this is what I want representing my company? You can’t even get out of bed before three in the afternoon most days.” Ward snapped, “take this vacation as an olive branch. And when we get back start thinking about what you want your life to look like because any more ‘wrong turns’ and you can forget the nice stuff and the free room and the bailouts.”

“Dad!”

“That’s not fair to me and Wheezie!” Sarah piped up, repeating her earlier argument, “why are we being punished?”

“Don’t rope me into this.” Wheezie commented. She wasn’t going down with this ship. At least not yet.  

“I hardly think a week in the Bahamas is a punishment Sarah.” Ward replied, “now, is it possible to get through this without any other objections?”

“Can I invite Topper?” Sarah asked, “you said Rose’s friend is coming with her daughhter so I don’t see why I can’t invited someone.”

“Rose’s friend?” Rafe asked, looking up from his phone.  

“Yes. We’ve been on vacation with them before. You remember? He daughter is a year older than Sarah I think.”  

“Yeah,” he nodded, the slightest smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.  

“Can I invite a friend?” Wheezie asked.

“No.” Ward said.  

“If Sarah gets to bring someone why can’t I? That’s not fair!”  

“I’m done with the arguments and backtalk. We’re leaving in a week. If Dr. Thornton says Topper can come, he can come. But I’m not a babysitting service for you and your friends Wheezie.”  

“Sarah always gets to-”

“Louisa!” Ward snapped, hand hitting the marble countertop. Sarah’s eyes went wide and Rafe looked up from his phone, standing up a little straighter at the notable anger in his father’s voice.

“Sorry.” Wheezie shrunk down in her seat, looking away from her dad.

“Now, do you think it’s possible that we can all get through this without any more arguments? We leave on Sunday. Since I have actual work to do, unlike any of children,” Ward said, looking over at Rafe, “I’ll be in my office.”

All three of them stayed put as they listened to their dad’s footsteps as he headed upstairs to his office. Sarah got up from the table, grabbing her phone and heading outside to call Topper while Wheezie still sat there looking close to tears for being yelled at.  

Rafe put his phone down on the counter and crossed the kitchen, putting his hand on his sister’s back and rubbing small circles. “Hey, no worries, okay? I’ll hang out with you on the trip.”

“You’ll just off with Topper and Sarah and I’ll be stuck with Rose while she day drinks.” Wheezie muttered, rubbing at her eyes.

“I promise Wheez, I won’t ditch you.”

“Okay,” she looked up at him, holding her hand out, pinky extended, “pinky promise?”

“Yeah, pinky promise.”

-

The week went by faster than any of them wanted it to, Sunday creeping up too soon. Trips to Nassau were usually staggered. Ward might go with Rose, or Rafe and Sarah went with friends or Ward took Wheezie, but they never went altogether. A family vacation hadn’t happened in almost four years.

Rafe could remember the last trip. Sarah had brought Scarlett because, once again, she was their father’s favorite child. Ward told Wheezie she couldn’t bring someone, pretending that she was too young but Sarah had been twelve and she’d been allowed to bring someone. Scarlett was a nightmare on vacation and an absolute bitch to you, Rose’s best friend’s daughter. Rafe had spent most of his time with you just to avoid his sister and Scarlett but he’d actually had a great time. Probably the last great time he had sober.  

On Sunday morning he stood at the back of the SUV, helping his dad load it up for the drive to airstrip.  

“Alright, do we have everything we need to go?” Ward asked, looking toward the house as Rose came out with her biggest suitcase rolling alongside her. “Rose, it’s a week for godsake.”

Sarah leaned out the window at her stepmom before sharing a look with Rafe, rolling her eyes. Rose caught the look and frowned. “Sorry all my clothes aren’t the size of Malibu Barbie and require a little extra space.” She said, glaring at Sarah.

“Here we go!” Sarah swore.

Ward took a deep breath, “just get in the car. Please.” He passed the suitcase to Rafe before following his wife around the side of the car, “and Sarah, behave.”

“Are you kidding me? She literally started it. I said nothing.”

“I don’t wanna hear it.”  

Sarah groaned, sitting back in her seat, “this is the stupidest vacation, why do we all have to go?”

“Sarah!” Ward shouted, “not another word! Some of you are lucky that we’re all going since you certainly don’t deserve a nice vacation.”

Rafe shut the door as he climbed in the backseat beside Wheezie, “am I supposed to say thank you?” It didn’t surprise him that somehow his dad yelling at Sarah had turned into his dad taking a dig at him.  

“It’s beyond my comprehension how I managed to raise such incredibly spoiled, ungrateful children.”  

“Sorry dad,” Sarah muttered.  

“Well I won’t wait for the other two apologies.” He said, looking in the rearview mirror at them. Wheezie had her airpods in, staring down at her phone, “this one probably can’t even hear me.”

Rafe nudged his youngest sister and she looked up, “huh, what?” She took one headphone out and looked around the car but Ward had already changed the subject.

“Is Topper meeting us at the airstrip or am I supposed to be picking him up?”  

“He said he would meet us.” Sarah replied, slumping in her seat as they backed out of the driveway and headed to the airstrip.  

“You know Sarah,” Ward mentioned, always happy for an opportunity to dig for a dig at Rafe’s expense where he could find one, “I really do like this young man. He’s very responsible. It’s a shame my own son couldn’t be so disciplined and mature.”  

“This is gonna be a great vacation dad, you were right.” Rafe piped up.

“You can save the snark Rafe.”

The only thing quieter than the rest of the drive to the airstrip was the flight to Nassau. Quiet and awkward, so much so that Topper spent the entire trip too tensed to even move, aside from his knee bobbing uncontrollably. None of the Cameron kids seemed to notice the unease or they were all so adapted to it that it didn’t seem to affect them.  

Ward had eased up on the commentary and Rafe was silent, hoping he wouldn’t have to listen to anymore of his father’s opinions if he just stayed quiet. He knew that wasn’t the case but it was working so far. Rose was too engrossed in her phone to bothered with any of them, Sarah and Wheezie taking up similar approaches to the flight.

-

“You know we could be taking a private plane to like, Paris or something right now? Wouldn’t that be kind of incredible?” You asked, reaching for one of the bagels that your stepdad had laid out on the table.  

“The Bahamas are equally incredible,” Your mom piped up, smacking your hand and making you drop the bagel, “eat some fruit, you look bloated.”

“I’m not bloated mom.”  

“Well, you're either bloated or pregnant and let’s not hope it’s the latter.” She snarked, pushing the bowl of fruit closer.  

“Thanks mom.” You rolled your eyes, “and thanks so much for this vacation when I was supposed to be in Ptown with Ben.”  

“Ptown’s not going anywhere.” She replied. “Try to be positive, remember what Dr. Nygaard said, try not to decide the outcome of an event before it happens.”

“Thanks for that inspirational advice,” you said, “you should get it printed on a t-shirt.”

Your mom had announced the trip not three days after you had committed to going to Provincetown with friends for Christmas. You’d paid for a fifth of the house that your friend group was renting for the week only for your mom to announce that you had to cancel. Rose had invited her (and you and your stepdad) to the Cameron’s Nassau house and she had accepted, effectively canceling any plans that you had. There was no chance of arguing the point with her, if she said you were going then you were going. And to be fair, part of you kind of wanted to go, just for the opportunity to see Rafe. Though it was for that same reason that you were really dreading the chance to go to.  

-

The Cameron’s landed at the airstrip in Nassau an hour after your family had already arrived and your mom had taken the liberty of renting two SUVs for the week. When Ward did land, Wheezie pressed her face to the window, looking out at the private port. “Who is that?” She asked, not recognizing Rose’s friend or her family.  

“My friend LeAnn, you remember we went to Nassau with them last time.” Rose replied.  

Your mom nudged you, a silent jab meant to tell you to turn your phone off. You were only making yourself more depressed anyway, seeing that your friends were having a great time while you were stuck on a family vacation.  

Rose waved as she exited the plane and your mom waved back enthusiastically. “LeAnn, I’m so happy you could make it!”  

“Thank you for inviting us,” your mom said, hugging Rose before looking to Ward, “we always talked about vacationing together again, I’m so glad it finally worked out.”

“Oh me too,” He replied though it sounded half-hearted.  

“It’s so beautiful here.” LeAnn said, looking around as if she hadn’t had the opportunity to before, “didn’t I tell you how nice it would be?” She asked you.

“Yeah, it’s super warm here.” You made a point of moving your hand up to block the sun, squinting behind your sunglasses and scrunching your nose.

“Don’t mind her, she was going to spend her vacation in with friends but she’ll get over it.” LeAnn said, excusing your behavior.

The rest of the family, Rafe, Sarah, Topper, and Wheezie, caught up with Ward and Rose, bags in hand and ready to get to the house. Wheezie avoided introductions, a quick wave before she headed straight to the second car, putting her airpods back in as she did. Rose ignored her daughter, going through a round of introductions anyway, as if you had all completely forgotten each other. As she pointed to Rafe you looked up from your phone, your eyes meeting his. Four years since your seen him and that same familiar pull in your stomach was still there when he smiled, like butterflies erupting. It lasted only a second as your mom spoke up and you turned to look at her.  

“I can’t believe how old you both are now! And Wheezie, the last time I saw you all you were just kids.”

“Well it’s been four years mom.” You pointed out.

“I know how long it’s been.” She said, glaring at you. “I guess we’ll see you all back at the house right?”

As everyone piled into their respective cars, your stepdad offered up the backseat if anyone wanted, noting that they had four people to get in the back of their car and your family only had you. Rafe looked at the back seat as Sarah climbed in, bag still in his hand as he slowly stepped away from the car.

“If you don’t mind?” He said, catching your attention.

You stopped what you were doing, hand hovering over your bag as you stood there at the open trunk, your stepdad answering Rafe, “not at all, hop in.”

He nodded, coming around the back of the SUV and putting his bag in the back. You were still standing there, practically frozen as you followed the motion of his bag getting tossed in the trunk as he turned to you, “need help?”

“I can lift a bag, promise.”

“I mean, last time-”  

“The latch wasn’t on my suitcase last time!” You laughed, “I can’t believe you remember that, that was so embarrassing.” You had been lifting your suitcase onto the cart at the hotel last time you were here and dropped it on the ground, the latch popping and spilling your clothes and belongings everywhere. The worst of it being Rafe picking up the stuffed dog that you had brought with you. “I did bring Wilbur though,” you said, just to get a laugh.  

It worked, Rafe shaking his head at you as he put your bag in and shut the trunk door. You followed him around to the backseat and he let you get in first, sitting so close to you that his thigh touched yours. It was unnecessary, since there was plenty of room with just the two of you, but he acted like he didn’t even realize it.  

“Sorry you had to give up vacation just to come here.” He whispered, turning to look at you.

“And miss the opportunity to hang out with you for a week?” You asked, grinning.

-

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[sazzafraz]

my pants no longer have coffee on them

nodus tollens!

Over time Sasuke learnt to tell by the smell. Ore meant a blood mutation. Licorice meant bone. Sweet ammonia meant parasites growing fat inside their hosts.    

sasuke’s memories of orochimaru are very sensory. i wrote him as a sensory person. i think the whole uchiha ‘hearts too strong to break easy, and that’s a warning’ thing would make them worse at managing their basic five experiences. 

Fuyuki shakes her head like a parent would, like Sasuke’s disgust is childish. “It’s an opportunity,” she says neutrally, “we have to make the most of them.” We don’t have the same means and opportunities as others, the silence says, we have to build from ruins and carnage. This is the right reason, boy. Even when it disgusts you. As if that makes doing something they’d kill someone else for doing right. Sasuke looks, and thinks, and looks again, and although he can understand it he can’t justify it.

oh man. at this point fuyuki pretty much knows she’s lost him. she is in fact saying shit to make him leave so she doesn’t have to make him while trying to jam common sense into his brain one last time. who knows if it takes. 

“What?” He feels it. Warm, wary, growing distant. Before Yumi was ’kunoichi, dangerous, fun loving’ she now has a little box in his internal checklist that says ‘caution: complicit and unrepentant’.

yeah. this is the thought. oof. dude just wants to trust his friends. 

She pats him lightly on the cheek, stepping back to give him some space. “You have my full and free permission to leave at any time. No member of Giri is forced to hold to an allegiance they feel no longer reflects their ideals.” With a wry smile she shakes her head reaching down to pull something from her pouch. “You always had an out.”  

He watches her hand. “What’s that?”

“For services rendered.” With a deliberate showiness she flips the object in her hand -a scroll- and holds it out to him. He blinks at her, taking the scroll from her outstretched hand. It’s thin and blue tipped, the personal seal of the Godaime Hokage glows in the night. The future in his hand.

AGAIN. SHE ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO LEAVE. THE POINT IS THAT YOU CAN LEAVE THE CYCLE nvrmind he’s not gonna get it for another 60,000 words. 

Sasuke says nothing. The pardon is cold in his hands, shame rolling through his gut. Truth be told he never actually thought he’d get it. Truth be told he’d forgotten about it. There’s never an out, there’s never something given without something taken away. She was honest. She did say what she was going to do. She never offered a single promise. Betrayal is a reflexive emotion for him, though, and he still feels it like a punch. Leaving is a choice. One he has made more often than any other. Being let go of is something he isn’t used to.  

woof. a long 60,000 words. still love that last line. fucks most verily. 

Giri have flying ships.

never used this. very mad about it. 

If extremely pressed Sasuke will admit that he picked Team Hebi based on a wild mix of comfort, usefulness and poorly placed boundaries. Orochimaru collected a bunch of weird traits and weirder expressions of trauma in the kids he lured to Oto; Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo are some of the best examples. Perfectly capable of respecting his needs and following his orders, completely incapable of acting like competent human beings the rest of the time.    

oh thank god they’re weird. sasuke actually needs at least three to nine people around him at all times and has never not once thought about how developing his chakra sense in a compound full of other people might effect this. not even once.  

Sasuke rolls his eyes, crosses his arms and clearly announces, “We won’t work together again after this.”

Karin and Suigetsu stop squabbling to turn to look at him.

Sasuke shrugs, “I’m going back to Konoha, Suigetsu is going to Kiri, Juugo will stay with Giri and Karin will go to Uzu.”

Karin sniffs delicately. “Back to Konoha?”

karin begins to plan konoha’s downfall. i envision karin as someone with a rather unique personal perspective. she is sasuke focused but its because she literally just thinks differently. i had a little bit for her that was about how uzumaki seals are literally a kind of meta-magic and thats why mito changed the game so much. to be able to use them effectively you have to be able to look at the world strangely. anyway. konoha will never recover from this.  

In Oto there were war orphans, normal orphans, freed slaves, second or third generation missing-nin, the odds and ends of clans that had died off, those who had seen their entire families exterminated and those who did the exterminating. In Oto there was no safe dinner conversation.

Except, of course, for the food.

fucks. it fucks. 

Juugo chuckles and waves him off. Sasuke is dead certain they’ll meet again. Maybe he’ll find them himself in a few years. He takes one last look behind him, sharingan on, and then leaves quickly and quietly. It’s not a bad snapshot to have. Karin has resorted to using her chains to manage Suigetsu, who is either helping the fire or taking the longest possible route to putting it out, Juugo is calling the small woodland animals and pets out of their homes. There’s an enterprising rabbit on his head. Suigetsu has one sword and Karin has the other. They’re all smiling.

favourite bit of favourite chapter. does not fuck. does gently cuddle and give glowing aftercare. 

Walking is in itself a refreshing experience. For the first time in his life there’s nothing to rush to. It’s a free sky: so high, so blue. So filled with things that he’s never seen before. He flicks his sharingan on and off. At sunset the sky fills with the lush pink and orange of change. At night the stars are so bright it feels like he’s counting the freckles on some great dragon’s back. At dawn he lies in the grass and lets the light wake him. He takes a long path winding his way down and around to his birthplace. He has one goal left, one last thing to do before it’s all done and he never thought he’d get this far. There is so little between him and the freedom to finally, finally put this all to rest.

So for the first time he lets himself linger.

The stars lead him into the mouth of a valley, green and bright with flowers. He doesn’t put people to places very often. People are memories. He sees them clearly enough. But he’ll cast a look onto the calm water and think Juugo, onto the high point of a knife and think Yumi, onto the twisting branches of an out of place blooming flower and think Sakura. In darker moments he names the other things. A tree changing out of season, riddled with the beautiful but deadly rings of a strangling vine earns Orochimaru. Just as a black expanse that appears in the middle of night is called father. Just as the ephemeral falling of flowers, the scent, is mother.

The clear sky is called Naruto. The fading mist of dawn is called Brother.

sometimes you’ve just gotta let the prose happen. and then make it sad at the end. i wrote paragraphs about naruto and itachi here and deleted it because haha sasuke WILL NOT THINK ABOUT IT like hes not really thinking about his suicidal ideation. i did recieve more than one comment that was like ‘......wait he wants to kill himself?’ haha! yeah! body made for one thing! he has yet to decide a man is allowed to have multiple life purposes. 

“Please,” the woman begs, “please, my child. Take her. Please.”

this is not JUST about how much sasuke would like to save children its just MOSTLY about sasuke being the only one around to do it, and hinata. eventually. 

“Sasuke.” Kakashi says.

“Sensei.” Sasuke says automatically. “Hatake. Hatake Kak-”

kakashi, heart in his throat, thinking today is the day he has to kill his sort of son and lose the rest in the grieving: sasuke

sasuke, holding a baby: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Sasuke scowls and shakes his head, looking down at the bundle in his arms. “This is a goddamn baby Hatake.” Then, softer, “It’s a baby. I have to take it somewhere safe.”

kakashi, soothed by the pardon, worried about all of that: sasuke

sasuke, holding a baby he is EMOTIONAL about: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Fuyuki is still radiating smugness as she lets them out. She plucks the baby from his arms, tucking it into hers. Sasuke almost groans, Kakashi is approaching a sulk at break neck speed. As he crosses the threshold of her home Fuyuki grabs him by the end of his hair and yanks, “Oh, Uchiha?”

Sasuke scowls as he pulls out of her hold. “Fucking what Hashira?”

She smiles, baby stuffing the length of her hair in it’s mouth. Sasuke looks at them both and feels an odd sense of accomplishment. Fuyuki mimes a scissoring action. “Cut your hair.”

i’m not going to do the first chapter but this. absolutely. slams. sasuke’s hair is so important but the hair thing was a specific thing about honor and service. about the redemption that a lot of missing nin feel in giri, the longer their hair the more they’ve done to repent. even if sasuke never quite gets it he actually doesn’t cut his hair until after this.and its not by much. 

[joeyarnoldvn]

2021, February

Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Monday the first day of February of 2021. Canada Kidnapping Themselves Tuesday. All About Hive Blog Wednesday. Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK Thursday. Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction Friday. Amazon Spies Saturday.

Instagram Rising

I was banned on Bittrex Sunday the 8th. My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn Monday. Cronyism Sucks Tuesday. Gold-Backed Crypto Wednesday. Protonmail problem on my 36th birthday Thursday. Just kidding. Brother Joined Hive Friday. Shoveling Snow Saturday.

Ice Killed Texans

Happy Valentines Day Sunday the 14th. President's Day. Party at Five Monday. Texas Freezing Tuesday. Vietnamese pho dinner was yummy. Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post Wednesday. Photoshop Funny Thursday. We Need County Coin Friday. Why is Sweden banning masks Saturday.

Can't Disrupt Commerce lol

Strung up pea strings. The Healthy American Sunday the 21st. Pho dinner. Musical chairs. Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001 Monday. Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro Tuesday. Digging up potatoes. Bible study revived. Being Dead Due To Birth Wednesday. Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids Thursday. My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign Friday. Cleaned Out a Chicken House Saturday. DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY Sunday.

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February of 2021

Oatmeal Monthly - 2021-02 - February of 2021 Published in February of 2021

I enjoyed watching season 1 of Tell Me Your Secrets

By Oatmeal Joey Arnold

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Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Plan

2021-02-01 - Monday

Hello Pocahontas

Americans to be placed under Extreme Lockdown House-Arrest for at least 12 months, that is the plan. You will be stuck in your house like they did in China. You will starve to death and die. The plan is to begin this before 2022, as in as soon as possible. Your loved ones will die from Covid Vaccines which is already murdering hundreds to thousands of people. This is a hole straight down to the pits of Hell.

Canada Kidnapping Themselves

2021-02-02 - Tuesday

Biden, Harris, Napoleon Dynamite Voting Meme

When Canadians return to their home country, Canada, they're federally kidnapped, imprisoned in Covid Concentration Camps for many days, and then charged at least $2,000. Wow. Justin is so liberal. Let's all move to the Land of the Moose. 2 masks at least says CDC. Go to their website and read the article.

Try To Withdraw Money

If you try to take your money out of your bank, they'll flag you, stick the IRS up your butt. Just try it, I dare you. When you try to withdraw cash, watch what happens, and don't get me started with if you ask for gold when you try to cash out. Paper money was supposed to be an "I-Owe-You" check which is supposed to be exchangeable for actual gold, a place-holder.

All About Hive Blog

2021-02-03 - Wednesday

Picture of Joey Arnold

Hive is like Facebook except it pays you to post. Did you know Covid is also called SARS-COV-2? Wait a minute, whatever happened to SARS-COV-1? Did we have a pandemic for the first one? How are we already in the second one? Was I sleeping while the first one was going around? How many years ago was the first one? Is China stealing oil from Texas? Why was Joe Biden refused a Pentagon security clearance? There has been documented cases where people were missing over 90% of their brain tissue but where still able to function like a normal person. One person to even had just a thin layer around the inside of the skull. Literally an empty head and yet could still function as a human. They are destroying the second amendment right now. You have no idea.

Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK

2021-02-04 - Thursday

Trump Terminator

Big interview between Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK today, 2nd hour of the show. The dollar could lose over 20% of its value under Lord Biden before 2022 and much more the following 12 months. It is likely the dollar will die sooner or later meaning you must convert your dollars into something else while you still can. This is financial advice. You have been warned. Your money is on fire but not in a good way. You're leaking value each day. You might as well give me your money as you're losing your money each second. You're wasting your money as you let inflation destroy the value of fiat. Was the Burma Election stolen like it was in America? If you think Biden won, then you do NOT know who won in Burma. I don't care what military is doing. Who won the election in Burma? I'm asking who got the most real votes excluding the fake votes. I want to know who really won. Please let the REAL WINNER be the leader of what you call Myanmar. Whoever actually won should be allowed to run that country, period. Military should help whoever got the most legal votes in that nation. Period. I don't know who won. I am just saying let the real winner have the power, good or bad.

Fall or Rise of Empires

This is what Mike Adams said today. He said something bad could happen over night, that is to the extent the dollar crashes, they'll try to blame the crazy Redditters, the conservatives, for destroying the money, they'll come up with crazy excuses, conspiracy theories, and then say how they saved us by giving us Biden Coins or whatever they want to call it. They are trying to have one centralized global digital currency, no cash, no decentralized cryptocurrencies. So, I agree this could happen at any time, especially if three or more stimulus checks come out in 2021, as they spend more and more money, as people demand silver, gold, etc. The centralized banking system could fall in the next few years or sooner. As that happens, either the good guys or the crazy globalists and baby eaters can take over as that happens. So, in other words, we are in a major transition in global history similar to the rise or fall of other great empires like that of Rome, Babylon, Persia, England, China, etc. But I can't say if we are in the middle of the fall or the rise of an evil authoritarian regime.

Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction?

2021-02-05 - Friday

Alex Jones

Happy birthday brother. Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction? In order to buy guns in 2021 in America, you either have to right now or potentially soon will have to pay too many taxes, additional taxes, including gun related taxes, and pass a test which includes questions relating to if you want to own a gun. If you answer you want a gun, you fail the test because only crazy bad guys want guns. If you want a gun, pass a test. The only way to pass the test is to answer you do not want a gun. Once you answer you do not want a gun, then the genie in the bottle comes out and says in the voice of Robin Williams in Disney's cartoon movie, Aladdin, "As you wish." There were at least two 2020 USA General Election court cases which heard evidence meaning the other dozen or more cases were unconstitutionally dismissed by compromised judges. There is one case in Arizona which is leading towards potential ballot auditing. There may be other legal cases pending in other states in the United States of America. New court cases may rise. Others are ongoing. Some may be, if they haven't yet, potentially, refiled or retried. In some cases, you can do that. It's not double-jeopardy in some cases. It depends but you can sometimes do this depending on the details. A federal case for example could be then tried on the state level. That is not double jeopardy. You can pressure your local counties to call for ballot audits today. Join the revolution.

Nullifying Federal Executive Orders

North Dakota is planning to nullify (on a state level) unconstitutional federal executive orders. If you're not living in this state, you should either go there or encourage your state to call up North Dakota. Hello Texas, Idaho, Wyoming, Arizona, etc. In the world of rock paper scissor, you can see state and federal power. However, never underestimate the power of the county sheriff which trumps over them. You should make friends with your local sheriffs and talk to them about the rule of law regarding what you have to do in your county, legally speaking. Don't go against the sheriffs. Find out what they expect from you as a citizen of the county you're living in.

Amazon Spies

2021-02-06 - Saturday

Trump

Amazon vans have cameras actively spying on people, as in anybody and everybody as they drive around delivering packages, not just their customers but also neighbors and everyone else as well. They collect the data in order to develop a China Social Credit Score Database. Even if you're not on Facebook, they'll still have your data. If you do something that our overlords deem not right, your social credit score begins to go down and down. A lower Social Credit Score means you will not be able to buy and sell, travel, have food, have protection, have safety, have a job, have schooling, have a house, have children, have parents, have organs, have water, have power, have Internet, have apps, have trash, have doctors, have hospitals, have health care. When you call 911 and say somebody cut off your arm and you are bleeding to death, the operator will answer the phone and say, "Sorry, your social credit score is too low, please raise it to an acceptable level and try your call again. Have a good day. Good bye."

I was banned on Bittrex

2021-02-07 - Sunday

I was banned on Bittrex

Banks and big tech companies are making special cities all around the world. Covid to End on the 31st of March of 2025 according to WorldBank.org.

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn

2021-02-08 - Monday

Facebook Restricted

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn and what is yours? Let's have a party before the dollar dies. Let's come up with backup plans and come together in local communities while we still can. Now is the time.

Cronyism Sucks

2021-02-09 - Tuesday

Cronyism Sucks

George Washington did NOT say, "My fellow Americans, read my lips, I hereby grant you some rights which we can then take away if there is a pandemic or if you feel a little unsafe regarding your neighbor's cannons." You can either help your state leave the United States of Satan or you can leave that state. A woman in Vancouver, Washington went to a hospital. Nurses and doctors tried to stick a needle in her arm against her wishes. She said no. The hospital called the police who came and kidnapped her for not breaking the law. No crime. The hospital and the police committed crime against her. And believe all women. And what if I told you she was black and black lives matter. And police are bad. The police might as well sell her to sex trafficking. Don't we want to defund the police? And I am Pro-Choice too. My Body My Choice. And none of your business. Thousands of people go to Oakes Farms Market in Florida daily without masks in 2020 and many of them go there seven days a week because it's the new Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, even some of their staff are 80 years old or older and yet are not getting sick. But if you do want to wear a mask, have at it. Hundreds of new customers come in each day from out of state, some come as far as like New York. You can tell they're new because when they enter the store, their jaws drop like as if they're cartoon characters.

Cash App

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn and what is yours? Let's have a party before the dollar dies. Let's come up with backup plans and come together in local communities while we still can. Now is the time. I will invest in a gold-backed cryptocurrency, as much as I can. Is there such a thing yet? Sign up to be a First Responder today, just call, not toll-free, at 1-800-Get-A-Gun-Duh. Don't kill your chickens, wait until they die of old age, say a little prayer to remember the wonderful life Chicken Little had and then get out your knife and prepare for a feast in honor of the life of the little guy. Study shows over 80% of Covid-19 Patients have vitamin D deficiency. Nurses stick stuff inside babies causing hearts to stop. After that, they try their best to restart the infant's hearts. Too many do die. It is covered up. You don't hear about it. Most viruses die in the air within seconds. Over 85 percent of child trafficking related things seem to be happening on Facebook Messenger.

Gold-Backed Crypto

2021-02-10 - Wednesday

Find me on Instagram at Joeyarnoldvn

Gold and silver are accepted as legal currencies in Utah, Oregon, Colorado, Oklahoma, and Missouri. Before 2030, globalists will most likely murder over 6 billion people. The good news is, number one, we can try to stop some of that, and, number two, regardless, you don't have to be one of them, you don't have to die, there may be only a billion people left on our planet soon. Come join me and survive this coming Holocaust. The greatest Holocaust ever. Save as many people as you can. But at the same time, you don't have to die. Get out of the big cities. Find a farm while you still can. You are running out of time. Find a community of like-minded people and get a room, I mean a community, a neighborhood, a state where you can find like-minded people. Do it while you still can.

Genocide Coming

Because there may be over 7 billion people who support the globalist agenda, they will end up dying most likely in the next few years. You must be prepared for this probability or worst case scenario. Every day you're still not dead yet is precious. You get what you promote. Justice is coming. There are consequences and rewards for the actions we take in life. Will you buy smart underwear which will be connected to the NSA? How do we detox from the lead which is in the soil? I have a friend named Tim Osman. Please don't Google his name. You can make money posting to blockchain social networks, I can help you sign up for free, no credit cards, no money required. I post on these websites and I make money. I did not put any money into them. You can take the money out. You can wire the money to crypto exchanges, banks, wallets.

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday.

2021-02-11 - Thursday

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday.

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday. Step one, find out how many people died annually for the last ten years in your country. Step two, please post those statistics for each individual year including 2020 in your report. We will copy and paste what you find everywhere. Thank you very much. Leftists say you have to say chest, can't say your baby is sucking on your breasts. You have to say human milk. You cannot say it is the milk of the mother. Oh My God. Russia killed the ALL-MIGHTY DOLLAR! I hate you RUSSIA! Are you happy America is becoming Venezuela in the next few years or much sooner because you do nothing, isn't that really cool that you're helping this republic and the world crumble? Are you excited as millions of people die? Do you wake up each morning happy that you don't care about this? Covid Vaccine has over 5 different viruses which it programs and mass produces in your cells to eat up your body from the inside-out, to attack the proteins, to kill your babies, to give you HIV, to kill your immune system and cause you to die from the common cold within months to the extend you're lacking enough essential vitamins.

Regarding Gold-Backed Cryptocurrencies

But the idea of a gold-backed cryptocurrency could at least in theory become a 2-in-1 deal where it might be backed by gold and yet as a fail-safe if all else goes wrong, if governments and others come in to confiscate the gold, you would still have something like Bitcoin or whatever type of cryptocurrency it may be. I see that as a potential two in one deal. Of course the risks, liability, privacy risks of having governments seek to imprison people for having gold which might be connected to a cryptocurrency, I understand that might be too big of a risk in some situations, it may be harder to be anonymous if police were to spot you holding some gold. Finding ways to stay as anonymous online in the mist of tyranny is a worthy cause and that is why I value the 4th amendment of the U.S. constitution. Cartoons and other children shows are actively singing songs and otherwise encouraging toddlers to wear masks, to not shake hands, hug, or get close to other people; to simply not be humans at all, this will scar these kids for the rest of their lives, deep intellectual abuse.

Brother Joined Hive

2021-02-12 - Friday

My brother joined Hive - When I Was Young, Busted Knees, No Helmets, No Limits

Mother cries as insulin for his son who could die without it costs more than $500 even as it only costs pennies to make. Biden did this. Watch the video of this mother in her car video. Listen to her passion as she speaks truth. They say even after everyone on the planet is vaccinated, we still must have lockdown globally, even in ten years from now. Are you happy for living on Planet Wall-E as Fat People stuck in The Matrix? Over ten million starved to death in 2020 thanks to people staying at home and being safe. We kept ourselves so safe, we ended up dying because we had no food. We are so scared, we make the problem worse. The odds of coming up with the exact numbers of the 2020 U.S. General Elections, Mathematician Expert Edward Solomon says there aren't enough stars in the known universe to have it come up by chance apart from electronic manipulation, statistically, it's astronomical, he went on to say there aren't even enough atoms in the universe. Biden won exactly the same percentage points across multiple precincts at designated times a day just long enough to put him in the lead. One example in Fulton County, Georgia on starting at 12:54 AM on Wednesday, the 4th of November of 2020, the percentage was set 5.5555%, and every 30 minutes to an hour plus a few times on Thursday, that is eleven separate times, each time it was exactly 5.555% percent, and that is humanly impossible to replicate by hand without the help of voting software.

Elmo Vaccine

Elmo got the vaccine and people on Sesame Street are locked in their homes like as if they were living in China. Children are being brainwashed. This is worse than sexual abuse. Green means you can travel. Different colors means different things under the Chinese Credit Score which is going to Europe, Australia, Canada, and is also slowly getting into America. If the centralized powers don't like you or your friends, then you can't work, school, travel, buy, sell, have your kids, have Internet, have a phone plan, health care, police care, fire care, water, sewer, garbage, food, etc. There is an alleged James Clapper interrogation audio tape which I'm listening to right now.

Shoveling Snow

2021-02-13 - Saturday

Michelle Obama, "Joe Biden, get your hands off my dick."

Before getting the Covid Vaccine, read the ingredients, the insert. And tell yourself, oh, I am putting this thing in my body, that is awesome. And oh, I am putting this other thing in my body. It is not a vaccine. Ignorance is Bliss. It's cool when you don't know you don't know something. It's cool when millions of people are likely to die or very close to it in 2021 because of Covid Vaccines.

Money is Dying

Cannot wait for the dollar to die. A study found that over 80% of those who got Covid were vitamin-D deficient. And the Flu magically disappeared during the winter. If you're going off the CDC website, you should make a list of the exact numbers.

Happy Valentines Day

2021-02-14 - Sunday

Joe Biden in like 2003

Happy Valentines Day. America has been dead for 209 years. They try to kill people via nano bots which goes into the body to cause flu like symptoms. That is fused with 5G, geoengineering, chemicals, waves, a variety of things working together. You must actively try ten times harder to counter as much of it all as you can, your ignorance is bliss, your children will suffer to the extent you try not to counter things you are yet to know. I repeat, things you are yet to know. Apple cider vinegar, 2 tablespoons a day but broken up gradually throughout the day, can help you. Encouraging healthy pH blood level balance minimizes cancer, detoxifies the liver, dissolves viruses, and helps the heart. The brain-gut connection. Is it true the last U.S. President to take the oath for the united states for America was back in around 1812? Has America been dead for over two centuries now? Did you know there is a star inside our earth? Biden is telling Americans to wear masks until 2022.

Reducing Zombism

Candida is a type of fungus which helps decompose dead bodies but the problem comes when the people are still alive while Candida is excessively growing and eating up your body even before you are actually dead. Therefore, you want to look at fasting, at starving those little guys at least once every ten years if not as often as you can to minimize how much of them you have inside of your biology. Borax detoxes fluoride from the brain. Inside your body are the bad guys, the fungi, which wants your body to die, and the good guys, which are the bacteria which wants your body to live, that is the civil war within your chemical makeup. The pineal gland in our brain is a spiritual window into the Supernatural Internet which transcends space and time, it truly is the third eye, but fluoride blocks it. Does the earth have two moons?

Party at Five

2021-02-15 - Monday

Star Wars Luke Kenobi Father Vader Anakin Floor is Lava Game Sucks He Was And Died Hahaha Meme

Party at Five. RINOs are Republican In Name Only and PINOs are Patriots In Name Only. Thousands of refugees are being allowed into California and Texas from Mexico but without being tested for Covid, no masks, no safety. But if you want to go anywhere or do anything, you have to get tested. When immigrants come in, as they do right now, they are NOT being tested for anything really, they can pass on diseases to you and you are not allowed to do anything period.

Texas Freezing

2021-02-16 - Tuesday

Girl from Firefly show

A 28 YEAR OLD WISCONSIN MOM DIES DAYS AFTER SECOND PFIZER SHOT. Why are kids sneaking out of the White House? Is Tom Cruise part of an off-planet corporation called Umbrella? You can find really old videos on the Internet of really tall people, some of them may be 14 feet tall or taller as you can see people and horses almost reach the height of this man's knees. Did you really think those videos were fake? Many times you'll find truth hiding in plain sight. Truth is often lying underneath your nose all along. This takes the Mandela Effect to a whole new level. Is the South Pole actually the North Pole? It's below zero degrees in Texas right now, they refusing to turn the power back on as people freeze to death, they're shutting down stores as people starve to death, and they're refusing to plow roads. You can literally watch videos of giant semi-trucks crashing into other trucks, at least three giant trucks, one which was going at least 70 MPH and the others were going pretty fast too, several people died in just that pile up alone.

Who is Oatmeal Joey Arnold?

I am single, 36 years old, I live in Shelton, I am Christian, no kids, I live with my parents, I don't wear a mask ever, I listen to Alex Jones, I love Trump, I am a little bit crazy, I don't work. I don't have a job. I just sit on a computer all day writing on my blog and that is it. Was the inspiration behind the Star Gate movies and shows stolen from the Native American Indians? Weather manipulation meetings at your local town hall in a county or state near you, why are you not there to ask them questions? Things got so bad in India that they created a task force and then ended up banning the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. That's how EVIL India is. Hey folks, how could India keep out our SAVIORS? We all know Bill Gates is the second coming of Jesus Christ. Kissinger wrote a report back in the 1970s regarding how to control the African population.

Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post

2021-02-17 - Wednesday

White Culture Dont Have Any Joke Yes We Do

Texas Dark Winter to last for weeks, people are freezing and starving to death, people are so excited as the globalists take over the world, Biden said the Dark Winter was coming, he was right. Be prepared for a new biological weapon, a new Covid disease, coming either this year in 2021 or at least before 2025. It will kill at least 4 billion people. Don't tell me I didn't warn you. I'm on record trying to tell you how bad things are. If you're reading this, you're guilty of not caring. Please, do something. The clock is ticking. Will China be aiming nuclear weapons at 24 targets across the globe, will it be real, will it be staged, will it be an excuse to lockdown the world, what is going to happen? Will it be exactly 24 different places in different countries around this planet? Will this be a good thing or a bad thing? Will the good guys or the bad guys be able to take control of whatever that might happen in February of 2021? Will it be any day now? Will people fall for false flags? Is there anything we can do right now?

Bill Gates Over Biden

Biden won't speak to world leaders. Boris Johnson said Bill Gates is really the head of the G8. This is how globalism works. They're getting the general population used to the world being run by technocracy. In a secret video, Mark Zuckerberg told his Facebook staff he didn't trust the Covid Vaccine. So, why isn't Mark telling his 2 billion users this? Why keep such a thing a secret? In the 1960s, America asked Russia to start a world war against China but Russia declined. That was declassified.

Photoshop Funny

2021-02-18 - Thursday

1776 Put Mask On Americans No Way

Funny story today, somebody used photoshop to try to fool me ahahahahhaaa! Biden is taking over the Texan Power-Grid, red alert, warning warning. We know their plan. We know the patterns. They'll say deadlier strands are out there now. This will likely be by the fall of 2021 if not a lot sooner. The strands will generally be less deadly. But it's extremely coordinated, scripted, they will all try their best to make you gulp down this Kool-Aid of Death. Shifting into Techno-Scientific Dictatorship, they're phasing the general public to accept this shift in world history globally, most people are stuck in a trance and they do NOT even know it. Even if you tell them, they will say to you, "You are crazy." THEY'RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE SKY THAT MAKES THE SNOW GAY. The power grid was an attack on water-power devices, especially in the 1930s. Some people had water-powered devices. They didn't need electricity because they water-powered devices.

Scaring Children to Death

A ten year old was admitted to the hospital because he was losing weight because he was refusing to eat for so long because he was afraid he would get Covid and die. Sergeant Major said they don't call it a Lie-Berry for nothing. Did you know they used to have water-powered mechanical devices? You were not told real history. A lot of stuff covered up. Why not get back to water power? Aren't you even just a little bit curious? People had free electricity thanks to tap water in the early 1900s. So, why would people give that up? What happened? Why trade that in for a monthly electricity bill?

We Need County Coin

2021-02-19 - Friday

Lauren Chen was on Friday Night Tights

Steele mentioned the idea of CountyNet. Also, he mentioned an idea of a CountyCoin which loses value the farther away from the county the coin moves in order to incentivize investing back into the same community as opposed to going excessively and obsessively overseas aggressively, as in too much and too often. I confess I fell for fake news when I thought Babbit died. I was wrong. Steele says Wall Street and others stolen 100 trillion dollars. People in power plants in Texas were ordered to lower down, to power down to zero percent in most cases, the documents are here, you can read the documents, they were ordered to do this on purpose, this is KILLING PEOPLE, and YOU DO NOT CARE. Do you have no friends or family in Texas? 2021-02-14 - Sunday - 08:51 PM EST - The 14th of February of 2021 - DOE Order Number 202-21-1 was issued for Texas (ERCOT), for more info, go to Energy dot gov, their official government website.

Texas Being Murdered

The Department of Energy (DOE) was ordered to turn off the power in Texas which is causing people to die. They're literally murdering people and nobody cares. The evidence is right there, we can all grab and share it. But nobody cares that thousands to millions of Texans are starving and freezing to death. I said, to death. The Department of Energy told Texas they CANNOT produce more energy, that is why people are dying. DOE Order Number 202-21-1 mentions ERCOT (ISO), this document can be read on their official government website, you can go there, you can read it, you can pass it on to your friends, or you can let your friends die in the cold in Texas with no power. Texas electricity bill for your power, just this week now, went from $50 per Megawatt to over $9000 per Megawatt. Breaking News,  Megan Fox is an Anti-Masker which means she is Pro-Vitamin, we are all going to die.

Why is Sweden banning masks?

2021-02-20 - Saturday

Alpha Heater

Why is Sweden banning masks? Many times, they ban people from YouTube but then let other upload the same videos or similar videos and profit from them. The Covid Vaccine is not a remedy but an operating system.

The Healthy American

2021-02-21 - Sunday

We Stole It Fair & Square

Stores are not legally allowed to discriminate or disrupt commerce which comes from even the customers who refuses to wear masks. Stores can say it's private property. However, because the stores are open to the public, thanks to the 4th amendment, thanks to other things as well, prohibiting customers is discrimination among other things as well. The maskless buyer is not trespassing if he or she is not disrupting commerce. Moreover, when you prohibit customers from stores, then you are engaging in the disruption of commerce which may be illegal among other things as well partly because the customers are part of the free market exchange system which we call commerce. Stopping customers means you are disrupting commerce. That is illegal. You should go to jail for disrupting commerce. It may be many different things, not just that. Stores and states must be held accountable for violating laws. Stores are public. They cannot enforce masks. Churches however are legally considered to be private and can enforce masks.

Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001

2021-02-22 - Monday

Coco Cola White Polar Bear Fired For Being Too White

Sound of Freedom is a great movie. The only preparedness that counts is the preparedness that happens when you don't yet need it. One day without notice, you will wake up and you will go to an ATM and it will not work. You will have no food in your house for many weeks to many months or longer. It takes less energy to walk on two legs than it takes to run four legs. The majority of suicides are from white male adults. Second spot is held by black male adults. Why was Bill Gates thrown out of 32 countries? New monthly vaccines for the virus of the month. Are you excited? He said now we have to difficult work of "Untying this knot," that is code for crazy people have to be sent off to re-educational FEMA camps where they will either recant or be murdered.

Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro

2021-02-23 - Tuesday

Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro

Gina interview. Why did NASA stop looking for life on Mars in 1976, why did they transition after that to geology, to looking for rocks? Trump got over 80 million votes while Biden got less than 40 million. Why are so many world leaders saying Covid-19 is permanent? They refuse to test it on animals because it kills animals or worse. No animals were harm in the making of this post. God save the animals. I'm glad we skipped animal-testing.

Being Dead Due To Birth

2021-02-24 - Wednesday

Tell Me Your Secrets

The only time your name is written in all uppercase capital letters is on your tombstone and yet that is how it's formatted on birth certificates, when parents sign it IN CURSIVE LETTERS when you are born, that is necromancy. When they say you can't leave the hospital with your own newborn infant baby without signing it, that is theft or worse. Legally speaking, it is a literal death sentence as you are literally selling away your baby. You need to live in groups of at least ten people. Zombies will be coming from the big cities. Protect your family from the walking dead. Why are so many big people being arrested around the world each day? Why?

Who Controls The Military Right Now?

Was an executive order or other items signed officially in 2019 authorizing a former (allegedly incumbent) U.S. President full control of the military even up to 60 days after an alleged inauguration of a alleged new administration (that is the new but fake President of the possibly defunct United Corporate States of America) which would end in or around, approximately, on the 20th of March of 2021? Please let me know such things were not signed. Please let your friends know nothing at all happened in 2019 at all. I'm only asking. I have no idea what happened.

Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids

2021-02-25 - Thursday

Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids

My gender is oatmeal. That is the kind of sex or gender I am. In India, doctors are saying women who get the Covid Vaccines are showing signs of the beginning stages of sudden breast cancer. Wow. This is amazing. Sign me up. Now we can all be Booby-Free Angelina Jolie. Please stick ten of those things in my arms today. Quick, this cannot come fast enough. Make boobs not great again. Please tell your friends how awesome this is. Learn To Say No Just For One Day Article. Tree Court Article.

Globalist vs Brazil

In Brazil, they're trying to force the government to not only waive all liability for the Covid Vaccines but also to sign over military bases over to them as well, it's insane but crazy things happen daily if only you knew the half of it. Back to American news. The Supreme Court has committed treason against the constitution and the republic of these American states. They've ruled saying whoever cheats the most in an election gets to be the alleged president of this defunct fake corporation which we illegally call in all caps THE UNITED STATES OF [not 'for'] AMERICA. Cheating is not only allowed but now also endorsed by the highest court of the land.

My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign

2021-02-26 - Friday

My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign

Masks Causes Bacteria Pneumonia. My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign. Their goal is to make all humans unable to naturally reproduce by 2030. Why is South Africa cancelling the Covid Vaccine? There is also related news in Brazil, India, etc. See, people are dying from vaccines. They've been spending billions to trillions of dollars covering up vaccine deaths for decades globally. They murder people who expose this or worse in most cases. You have no idea how bad it is. Bill Gates and others are involved in giving vaccines to people around the world. That is why Bill Gates is banned in so many countries. In other news, there may be someday selling cloned synthetic children meat to encourage people to eat. Hell, they may have it ready already. Celebrity meat actually. The only we defeat this invisible enemy is to decide our own destiny. 80% of people who died of Covid in Canada were in nursing homes. 101 Pocketball Journal Scans Uploaded.

Covid Vaccines Are Murdering People

Why are over 75% of U.S. military troops refusing the Covid Vaccine? Because vaccines kill people. But more than that, the Covid Vaccine is not a vaccine. It utilizes mRNA which turns your cells into virus factories. That is what mRNA is. See, the M on mRNA means MESSENGER. This is Basic Biology & Science 101 For Dummies here. The vaccine literally sends messages or mRNA into the cell nucleus to tell it to make specific items. Covid-19 and the alleged vaccines in response to it are both GMO-like chimera monsters. They're a combination of different viruses, different things, I'm talking Frankenstein on a microscopic level. I've been talking about this many times. That is why so many people and so many countries are saying no to the vaccines. And again, the Covid Vaccines are not even vaccines to begin with. I wouldn't even be surprised if nano-tech is involved among other things in regards to these things which are murdering people right now. Sadly, they're blaming the mRNA deaths on Covid. So, they're trying very hard to make you think that you need to take monthly vaccines. And the more people die, the more they'll say, "Hurry up, you need even more vaccines, etc." Remember, they have spent billions to trillions of dollars covering up vaccine deaths. They murdered many people who tried exposing them. Fake news would never tell you all of this because they're fake news.

Cleaned Out a Chicken House

2021-02-27 - Saturday

Alex Jones Predicting Covid-19 Back in 2010

Wear a mask or I'm calling the cops. Alright, call the cops. I'm suing them. In 2020, over 40 million alleged votes for Biden were fake. In 2008, it was reported that HAARP was learning how to steer hurricanes via high-atmosphere heat injection, kind of like guiding a kitten with a string. Watch out for Bioterrorism says Bill Gates. Which reminds me, kind of funny how Texas was suddenly colder than Montana. Wow. Out of nowhere. What happened on this day in 1933? Reich Fire. Hitler. Germany. Klaus Schwab says you will ONLY ONLY ONLY eat bugs and will love it.

What is in the Covid Vaccine?

Some of the ingredients for the mRNA Covid Vaccine includes some of the most commonly consumed things including vinegar, salt, sugar, plus a few very common preservatives found in so many food items. Too many people buy processed foods which includes preservatives in them. So, why are these commonly consumed items in the vaccine? It is there to trigger autoimmune responses in your body's immune system. It may takes years for your body to get there, but slowly over time, your body will begin to develop allergies to salt, sugar, vinegar, etc. These allergies may spiral out of control into even worse problems over time. Now, that is just the tip of the iceberg. But it is a good thing to start with and share with others. Don't believe me. Don't take my word for it. Go get a list of the ingredients to these vaccines and post them here. I will wait for your awesome responses. Thank you so much in advance for responding with the real list of ingredients. Prove me wrong. Easy to do. Just show me the ingredients. Show me these items, like salt, is not in the vaccine.

DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY

2021-02-28 - Sunday

Covid Vaccine Ingredients

Your body will become DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY. Why is Pfizer giving their customers one thing but their staff a different thing? Pfizer got a new drug out which is going to help people deal with one of the side-effects of their own vaccines. So, they make money trying to fool you into getting one and then even more money when you have to come back to take some of their drugs to deal with the deadly side-effects. Have fun, kids. You WILL swell up like a balloon. I warned you. Why were thousands to millions of 2020 ballots had computer-printed vote marks as opposed hand-written vote marks all for Biden and none for Trump?

Trump 2024 is Retarded

Downvote because Trump won in 2020. See, they can steal it from Trump in 2024 too. We have to call for FORENSIC-STYLE ballot audits in each county each day. Call people. Email people. You can make a difference. Call the military. Call Congress. Call judges. Write letters. Protest in person. Make videos. Write articles. Share things everywhere. Do something. If you are reading this and you are doing nothing, then you deserve Biden and the Chinese takeover of America.

Who is Oatmeal Joey Arnold?

Telling The Truth in a World of Lies

Biden Law, Five Years Lockdown Plan

Canada Kidnapping Themselves

All About Hive Blog

Alex Jones and DR. STEVE PIECZENIK

Are you ready for Weapons of Mass Distraction?

Amazon Spies

I was banned on Bittrex

My Cash App is $joeyarnoldvn

Cronyism Sucks

Gold-Backed Crypto

Protonmail Banned Me on my 36th birthday

Brother Joined Hive

Shoveling Snow

Happy Valentines Day

Party at Five

Texas Freezing

Travel Post Banned For Not Being a Travel Post

Photoshop Funny

We Need County Coin

Why is Sweden banning masks?

The Healthy American

Weekly Oatmeal Show - Episode 001

Gina Carona Interview with Ben Shapiro

Being Dead Due To Birth

Captain Biden Flying Around Zapping Brown Kids

My-Body-My-Choice No-Mask Sign

Cleaned Out a Chicken House

DEADLY-ALLERGIC to YOUR-OWN-BODY

[every1studio]

“babysitters vs babies” [ATEEZ]

genre: FLUFF

ficstyle: bulletpoints

prompt: inspired by my “wanna one” one + based on Gakuen Babysitters; how would ATEEZ be as babysitters and babies

note: I’ll promise to get back to my inbox.. soon lmao + I kinda wanna write stuff on my list so I hope you don’t mind

BABYSITTERS:

HONGJOONG

(type: does what he’s suppose to do but kids don’t listen to him)

parents love him because he’s so caring towards the kids

even if the kids bully him 

they consider him to be one of them

they call him the “Big Minion”

always knows what to do in mostly every situation

explosive diapers? check

hungry, tantrum-throwing kids? check

getting the kids to listen to him? it’s a hit or miss

he kinda lets them step all over him because he just wants them to not cry

he’s the best at getting them to stop crying

his favorite activity is anytime he can get them to listen to him

sometime kids tell him all the time is: “you’re not my dad” “you’re just a Big Minion” “my mom is taller than you”

SEONGHWA + YEOSANG

(type: pretty boys who all the moms and daughters like)

super soft-spoken when it comes to the kids

they can get the kids to be quiet for the longest out of all the babysitters

kids listen to them the most too

why? because they look like angels 

brings the kids organic snacks that they surprisingly like 

teaches the kids to be good people with a warm heart

parents are so shocked how their mischievous kids are now sweet little human beans

parents (mostly moms) would talk to them for hours on end to admire how handsome and caring they are 

Seonghwa’s favorite activity is when the kids help him clean 

Yeongsan’s favorite activity is when the kids share their snacks with him

things the kids tell them: “I like you better than my mom” “my mom says you look like a Greek statue and I don’t know what that means” 

SAN + WOOYOUNG

(type: does things the parents tell them not to do + kids want their attention)

tells the kids that if they don’t listen to them, they’ll bring in the monsters; actually dresses up like monsters to scare them so kids always listens to them

they act like older brothers to the kids; teases them a lot 

make up games that only they can win 

pushes at their foreheads with their finger a lot 

sometimes they’ll bring them to the park and play with them; bubbles and swings and all that jazz

but sometimes they’ll just lay on the plush carpet and be on their phones

teaches them bad habits 

like putting their legs on the table 

or leaving trash around 

or accidentally cussing (whoops)

when the parents say that they’ll find new babysitters, the kids will wail and throw fits, even boycotting by not eating or listening until they are under Wooyoung and San’s care again

San’s favorite activity is when the kids hold his hands or cuddle with him while he’s reading them a book or go on his phone

Wooyoung’s favorite activity is playing outside with the kids, especially on the playset

things the kids tell them: “I’m gonna tell my mom on you” “I don’t want to play with you because you always win” “can we play now?” “I don’t want to go home”

YUNHO + MINGI

(type: everybody loves them + energizers)

literal kids themselves 

that’s why they get along with the kids

and kids actually listen to them because they are “tall, grown-ups” poor Hongjoong

kids climb them like trees

are able to tame the monkey-like kids 

always throwing them in the air and catching them

puts things on the top selves; like a book they ALWAYS want to read 

they’ll tell them if they can find the book they will read the book

but they always find a new book

parents think of them as their sons; brings them food as they drop off their kids 

they are always sharing with the kids 

sticks their tongues at the kids a lot and teases them but it’s never in a mean way

will drop everything and give them all the affection they can offer if they see the kids hurt, sad, or upset

are able to discipline them with a timeout corner if they get out of hand

the kids are able to learn from them; on all positive aspects 

Yunho’s favorite activity is when the kids want to include him in their games like “playing house” or having a tea party

Mingi’s favorite activity is when they go to the playsets so he can play on the set too 

things kids tell them: “can you ask my mom if you can live with me?” “(to the other kids) I don’t want to share Yunho/Mingi with you” “it’s my turn on the swings”

JONGHO

(type: tsundere guy + everyone can see through him)

says that he only babysits because it’s easy and he has some sort of allowance 

but in all honesty, he loves taking care of kids

they’ll hang onto his arms as he swings them around like an amusement park ride

they always show him their artworks and he’s genuinely interested in everything that they do 

he’s different when the parents or older siblings are around

he acts like he’s just making sure they don’t die and he doesn’t really interact with them 

but he always gets ratted out by the kids

they tell him that they can win at an arm-wrestling match so he’ll hold off until the last minute and let them win

always lets the kids win 

hates it when they cry because he really doesn’t know what to do

ends up just hugging them and making sure that they aren’t hurt; little does he know, it helps them a lot and they love hugging him because it makes them feel safe

his favorite activity is art time because they can be focused on something so that he can guarantee that they won’t get hurt; even if it gets a little messy, he can deal with that 

he can’t deal with them getting hurt because this baby really won’t know what to do 

things the kids tell him: “can I hug you?” “do you like my art?” “why are you different when my dad/mom/older sibling are around?”

BABIES:

HONGJOONG + SEONGHWA

(type: their parents are best friends + childhood friends)

gets dropped off together

gets picked up together

but they are always doing different things since they are both interested in different things

Seonghwa likes to go on walks while asking about nature, people, the meaning of existence; you know casual stuff 

Hongjoon likes to play with plastic instruments; his goal is to learn how to play every single instrument in the world

despite of the difference, they can converse well with one another

people think that because of their differences, they couldn’t play well with each other

Seonghwa lets Hongjoong takes all the attention because he’s more quiet and shy than Hongjoong

Hongjoong lets Seonghwa do everything before him; lets him get in front of him in a line or get on the slide before he does

they both are good at sharing with one another and would fight for one another 

they are the type of kids that if you tell them not to do something, they won’t do it anymore

they aren’t the poster kids but they are borderline right there 

‘99 LINE

sorry couldn’t find a gif with all of them 

(type: somehow are all telepathically quintuplets + trouble makers) 

always LOUD

never a quiet day with them 

everyday is like a different day and it’s hard to predict what they have in mind for the day to come 

out of all the kids, Yeosang is the most tamed but he always gets linked into the group

Yunho is the natural leader of the group, the others once tried to take that spot from him but appointed the position to him because he was the tallest

Mingi follows Yunho around everywhere and copies everything he does; he’s also a big crybaby that Yunho protects all the time 

San is a sweet little angel when he wants to be; can easily become the spawn of a devil if things don’t go his way (especially when he doesn’t get his yogurt smoothie) 

Wooyoung is always yelling and screeching-giggling; is never sad or upset, is able to do something else without a second thought when you tell him to stop 

they all love to ask the same things over and over just to annoy you

they can never probably share something

always arguing yet, always joining heads to sabotage you 

parents think they are the sweetest little things but they don’t know the other side of them

you find it hard to believe they can be such rascals when it’s nap time; they just look so angelic and precious when their mouths are closed

JONGHO

(type: child prodigy + an intimidating, strong baby)

surprisingly really strong

and is very smart

probably a child prodigy

does the children activities you give to him but somehow turns it into something sophisticated 

once you offered to play tic-tac-to with him, resulting him to start writing organic chemistry formulas 

tried to played rock-paper-scissors with him, he told you that losers would have to receive a flick on the forehead; the whole time you were wondering if you should go light on him or not or if he would tell on you to his parents

you lost and saw the world in a different light; tried to beat him but he never loses no matter what

you then realized what kind of lucky kid he was and just let him do whatever he wants

it’s not like he’s a trouble maker anyways

probably thinks you and all the other kids are peasants

still asks you for permission to do things since you are the one in charge

probably the golden child yet you’re scared that he’ll throw a tantrum and throw a chair 

he never does though; he knows what you’re thinking and he just thinks you’re weird every time you flinch when he looks at you

~end  

[dailyaudiobible]

03/23/2020 DAB Transcript

Numbers 36:1 - Deuteronomy 1:46, Luke 5:29-6:11, Psalms 66:1-20, Proverbs 11:24-26

Today is the 23rd day of March, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is awesome to be here with you today as we kinda dive into our work week. Today we’re going to conclude the book of Numbers in the Old Testament and move our way into the next book, which is the final book of the Pentateuch, Deuteronomy. So, let's dive in and cover that ground. We'll talk about Deuteronomy when we get there, but let's conclude the book of Numbers. Numbers chapter 36.

Introduction to the book of Deuteronomy:

Okay. So, that concludes the book of Numbers which brings us to the final book of the Torah or the Pentateuch, Deuteronomy. As we get into this book over the coming days, we may get a sense, “like didn’t we read this? Haven't we already covered this territory?” And the answer would be, “yes, we actually have.” But there's a reason that we’re revisiting this territory and we understand the reason that has gravity and actually allows us to pay more deeper attention. The book of Deuteronomy is basically three final discourses, three final announcements to the children of Israel from Moses and these are his final words. And, so, we’ve been with Moses for a long time now. These are the final words of Moses. This is the last thing that he wants to be set before he becomes a part of history. So, Moses is older now and as we…we know he won’t be crossing over the Jordan into the Promise Land with the children of Israel. Joshua has been appointed to take that mantle and lead them forward. So, these are Moses's last words. And, so, he's gathered the people together to say these final…like to leave nothing unsaid that he needed to say because this isn’t just a long goodbye. And we'll see what he's saying is intended to remind these people of who they are and how they got here, like where they came from and to remind them where they're going and to warn them about the pitfalls that they’ll face when they get there. So, if we take that approach to the book of Deuteronomy we’ll be in the proper context. If we know that we've traveled…like if…we’ve been a part of this story. We’ve been with the children of Israel in the wilderness and all of the trials that they faced. Now they’re poised and ready. A new generation has emerged and this prophet Moses, the one who came and delivered them out of Egypt with the mighty hand of God behind them, he’s about to leave them. This is what he has to say.

Commentary:

So, in the gospel of Luke today we see a series of interactions that Jesus had along the path of His ministry and now He…He has the religious leaders following Him around and kind of asking Him about everything, but not in a good way, like they’re critiquing everything that He does because He's in so many ways flying in the face of tradition. And, so, in each of these interactions today He's explaining things about the kingdom of God for those who have eyes to see. So, our first interaction is Jesus is at the home of a tax collector. He's a guest and His disciples are talking to the religious leaders who are asking, “why do you eat and drink with such scum?” Jesus answers, “healthy people don’t need a doctor. Sick people need a doctor. I didn't come to those who think they’re righteous. I came to those who know they're not. They know they’re sinners and need to repent”, right? The juxtaposition is apparent there. The people in charge of caring for the souls of God's people, feel superior and look down on anyone that’s not with them. And Jesus is like, “I'm not even interested in that. I'm interested in the people who know deeply, desperately their need for God.” The funny thing is that the religious leaders, they think they're doing all that they're doing on behalf of God. So, we see…we see the contrast here so clearly and it can still be seen in the world today. And then some people come and ask about John the Baptist and the Pharisees, like the disciples that follow them around and they…they…they live this very austere life, they’re fasting all the time crying out to God for change. And, so, they’re asking Jesus, “why don't…why don't you…like why don't you guys do this?” And Jesus is like, “yeah, when you go to a wedding feast you don't fast, you celebrate. And what's happening here is celebration, the kingdom of God is at hand. They’ll have time to fast because of what's going to come.” The next thing we see is Jesus giving an illustration of…of the times. “No one tears a piece of cloth from a new garment and uses it to patch an old one because then the new garment would be ruined, and the new patch wouldn’t even match the old one. Nobody puts new wine into old wineskins. The new wine would burst the wineskins spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine must be stored in new wineskins.” So, what is He saying here? “I'm not here to patch up the old way. A new thing is being done. The rituals will not save you, the Spirit underneath them will.” And He concludes that example by saying, “no one who drinks the old wine seems to want the new wine. The old is just fine they say.” So, the message underneath it all, from Jesus to the Pharisees seems to be, “God couldn't do a new thing among you even if you wanted to. You won't let Him.” And in other interactions He says that explicitly. He tells them, “you've locked the kingdom…you locked the door to the kingdom of heaven and you won’t go in and you won't let anybody else in either.” And then we have a couple of Sabbath day interactions. They’re walking through a field. They grab some heads of grain. They rub them together and they eat them. And the pharisees are complaining, “why are you breaking the law by harvesting grain on the Sabbath?” In this case Jesus simply goes back to the Scriptures that they know and shows them other occurrences in the Bible where this happened. And His point is that they're missing the point. Like, this letter of the law, this ritualistic tradition without the Spirit underneath it that created these laws, without God below it is nothing, empty ritual. And He declares Himself Lord over the Sabbath. Then there's another Sabbath day and a man has a deformed hand and everybody's watching to see if Jesus is going to make a move on the Sabbath. Like, that's literally what they're waiting to see, is this guy gonna heal somebody on the Sabbath? Not like, “is this guy gonna heal somebody? Like, is the power of God going to descend upon us and grace us here?” No, they’re watching to see whether He’s gonna break the rules. And, so, again, He exposes the whole thing. “Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it? Honestly, we can read these things and go like, “dahhh! Like He’s just…He’s just speaking it clearly. How are they not seeing it?” But they're not. The people are seeing it clearly. The religious people, the religious leaders are not. These kinds of interactions happen so often in Jesus ministry that we realize that part of what Jesus is doing in His ministry is exposing the falseness of what had become of their faith. So, He asked the question, “is it a good thing or a bad thing to do good, to bring life on the Sabbath?” And then the Scriptures say He looked around at them one by one. So, He looked everybody in the eye after asking that question. And then He healed the man. And the last verse of our reading, which kinda concludes this series of interactions, “at this the enemies of Jesus were wild with rage and began to discuss what to do with him.” That is their reaction to what Jesus ministry is doing. The light came into the darkness and the darkness didn't comprehend it. The fundamental issue going on in all of these interactions is Jesus is trying to announce that the kingdom of heaven is here and among and within, it's happening, it's going on. A new thing is being done in the world and the religious leaders in this case are doing everything possible to oppose it. We can see that in the Scriptures. We can believe that. We can enter into that story and go, “Jesus is a master at this. He always knows what's going on. He always knows what to say.” And, so, we can read that and go, “I'm glad I'm following Jesus” until we personalize, until we bring these stories close to home and then they have questions for ourselves because we are often asking God to do a new thing. We are often collectively worshiping and asking God to pour out new wine, to restore us, to make us new again, to make all things new again. But what if He does. Do we take that new thing and try to pour it back into old wineskins that will burst because of it? Do we see God doing this new thing in our hearts and we see it and we get a pair of scissors and we cut off a square of it so that we can use that new thing as a patch for the old? Are we buried in our traditions? Are we cemented in our doctrine? Like, are we trapped so that God couldn't do a new thing in us even if He desired to because we’re closed off even while asking Him to do a new thing? And those are some things to consider from what we’re seen come out of the gospel of Luke today.

Prayer:

Jesus, we invite You into that. There is no doubt that each and every one of us want You to do a new thing, not only on the earth but in our hearts but so often when You begin to move and it wasn't as prescribed, it wasn't how we intended it, it wasn't how we wanted it, You’re moving us in a different way somehow inside, then we start to question whether or not it could be You. We go back and try to filter it back through everything that was old. Make us aware. We’re asking for the eyes to see. We’re asking for the ears to hear. We’re not asking that we might be deceived into something. We’re asking that we might see what You're doing in the world and get on board with it whatever it is, wherever it is, whatever we see, wherever You lead, to know and have this confident relationship, this deep intimacy, this conversation that never ends with You, so that where You lead we follow no matter what gets said. But the only path we want to walk is the narrow path that leads to life. And we love You. We have given our hearts to You and we’re sorry. We are sorry for the ways that we take it back. We are sorry for the areas that we have not surrendered yet. This is a process and Your Holy Spirit is leading us. All we want is to walk into the truth into complete freedom. And, so come Holy Spirit You promised You would lead us into all truth. This is our desire. Lead us into all truth no matter what we think about…no matter what we judge it, how we judge it. Whatever You are doing that is where we want to be. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that dailyaudiobible.com as well. There is a link on the homepage. I thank you profoundly. The…the Global Campfire that we share that’s been burning for all these years is here because we each take turns and throw logs on and we keep it burning and for such a time as this, my goodness, what a joy that we have this safe space to go and allow God's word to speak to us. So, thank you for your partnership. There's a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top and so nice that we have this, so nice that we have a hotline that we can press and reach out and know that we’re not alone. So, you can reach out there or you can dial 877-942-4253. That's the number if you are in the Americas. If you are in Europe or the UK 44-20-3608-8078. And if you are in Australia or the lands down under 61-3-8820-5459 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Sierra from Orlando Florida. I called on March 4th and I kind of just discovered your app and I was praying for my upcoming missions trip. Due to the coronavirus outbreak and panic and all that stuff my…my missionary school got postponed at least a month. And also, my grandpa who not only isn’t a believer but hates God and hates that part of me who I’ve been living with just kicked me out of his house because…because of all my coming and going to help people or help my church and serve at the soup kitchen and things outside of the house. He was paranoid that I was going to bring the virus into the house. And, so, right now I’m living with a church member for a few weeks until April 7th, but the earliest my mission’s thing will start will be May 4th. So, I have like a whole month where I have to try figure out where in the live. So, I’m trying to walk in the Lord and I’m incredibly grateful and He’s been providing for me in terms of finding this house for a few weeks but I feel kind of hurt like just in general because my grandpa and I really want to listen to and obey the Lord’s calling in my life. So, if you guys could just pray for me for guidance and peace in this time, but just in general to show me the way forward whether I should be doing the missions trip in a month or if there’s another opportunity God wants to show me. Thank you so much.

Father God thank You so much for the Daily Audio Bible. Thank You, Lord that it is an online community. Thank You, Lord that we can still meet together as we have always done online through the podcast, through our phone calls, through Facebook, and over social media and however else. Thank You, Lord that this hasn’t changed. Father God, as our routines have changed where now…we’re probably having to work from home or work differently than we did before or we’re actually having to care and school our children throughout the day, whatever it is. Just life has changed drastically. Help us to find You in all of this Lord. Help us to put You at the center. Help us to fix our eyes on You and find You in everything of our lives. Father God give us wisdom and give us courage and patience as we deal with these new measures that are in place to protect ourselves and to protect each other. Please Lord, be giving wisdom to our leaders. Please Lord be giving strength and energy and resources to our healthcare staff and our medical staff and all of those people in front-line jobs because we can’t just stop Lord and there’s jobs that still need to happen. And us Lord that You’d be at work and You be our provider throughout all this. And I thank You Lord that we can rest in You, we can trust in You and we can cast all our anxieties about the situation on You. Give us hope Lord. Thank You for the hope that You give us. In Jesus holy and precious name. Amen. All right guys is Michaela from Gloucester. I hope you have a blessed day wherever you are. Bye.

Good morning friends this is Jen in SoCal a.k.a. Prayer Warrior Princess. Father with suffering you bring fellowship with Christ, You bring wisdom and maturity, You bring cleansing and holiness peace and quiet. With suffering You bring contentment and stillness. With suffering You bring freedom. You give us empathy for others when we suffer. You bring us comfort. You awaken us. You bring revival. After the suffering You bring joy and laughter in the morning. With suffering You bring us perspective, eyes to see and ears to hear. You bring us strength and stamina and perseverance and holiness. Father, have thine own way Lord. Have thine own way. Mold us and make us. Have thine own way in Jesus’ name. Amen.

This is Speak for You from Columbus Ohio a 12-year listener and a first-time collar. I’d like to first thank Brian for being obedient to God’s calling in making a digital community all those years ago and a __ community that’s built on His word. As we deal with this coronavirus and many of us now are turning to the digital world to do church, Brian has led the way that God was preparing us as Brian was obedient. And, so, now I would ask that you would pray for pastors, pray for pastors as we try to lead our people in this digital world, in a world where we’re not permitted to come together as community in the physical buildings and in physical space. Pray for us as we figure out what to do with Easter. How do we celebrate in a way that’s different than we’ve ever celebrated before? And I would ask that you would give a…pray for wisdom as we lead our people to love our neighbors and as we care for our people boldly. I would also ask that you would join me as I begin to fast and pray on Good Friday and that maybe the Christian church, the whole church of Jesus would come together on that day to fast and pray and ask God for restoration, for forgiveness, mercy and for healing and that this virus could be eliminated because of the power of God and He could get the glory. And finally, I want to thank Blind Tony. Thank you for your poetry. Thank you for how it lifts us up and finally thank you DAB family.

Hey this is Jared calling from Duluth Minnesota. I’d like to ask prayer specifically about the coronavirus but more particularly to pray for those who are suffering with mental health issues as the stress and anxiety of this is pretty overwhelming. As I’ve shared before I am bipolar, and I have two kids that are bipolar and a week ago we got a call in the middle of the night at…my daughter said she had a gun and that she’s going to commit suicide and had written a note. We called 911 and the police got there before we did, and she was arrested for public intoxication and is holding us responsible for calling 911 or calling the police on her. And, so, the situation has kinda been strained. And my son is…we haven’t spoke to him in the last four months or so because he has believed a lie that we’ve rejected him some way and somehow house. And, so, the mental health issues are really, really difficult for those who struggle with anxiety and depression and bipolar disorder. Pray that they would have peace during this time of unusual stress. Thank you so much. God bless. Bye.

Hi everyone, its Lisa the Encourager I have been calling in lately and trying to pray for all of our children, all the Daily Audio Bible children and I want to continue to do that tonight; however, I want to focus on praying for Yolanda’s son Al today and I want to focus on him because the Lord really laid something on my heart. I’m a little bit behind in listening and the passage that Brian read tonight really stood out to me. And that was the part about Jesus being blindfolded and then struck by the soldiers. And they were mocking Him and saying, “now tell us who struck you. Tell us who struck you.”. And I…you know…so many things happened to Jesus when He was crucified…before He was crucified on the cross and I never really thought about this exact moment and how Jesus’ heart must’ve been just tearing up inside. So, and it was a form of bullying of course. And, so, I just wanted to encourage you Yolanda in knowing that Al is in such incredible company with Jesus and that he, when he’s a little bit dismayed about his friends and people perhaps not being friendly to him, if somehow you can encourage him know in what wonderful company he’s in with the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And just maybe that would help warm his heart in knowing that Jesus was put in the same position. And I’m gonna pray for sweet Al. Dear Lord, thank You so much for giving me this on my heart…laying this on my heart to share with everyone, this horrific thing that You had to go through prior to being crucified and how that must’ve just broke Your heart Lord. It broke my heart. And I’m just praying for Al Lord, that he’s encouraged through this and no that he…and You love him so much God and that You are there for him through everything …

Hey Daily Audio Bible family this is Asia from Chicago. I’m calling to ask for prayer. I’m in a pretty…I’m pretty down right now. This whole coronavirus has been really impacting me for more than just the social distancing and watching people suffering and afraid. But as you all know my is Asia and I am Chinese. My dad is Caucasian, and my mom is an immigrant from Taiwan. And I’m Chinese and my heart is just very heavy right now at the racism that I’ve watched that I’ve encountered firsthand, violence, fear, hatred. I’m sitting outside just in the darkness by myself looking at the trees and feeling the wind and I feel the comfort of God, but I also feel the weight of darkness. And I’m very proud to be Chinese. I know that God is going to use this, but please pray for me. Pray for my other brothers and sisters that are Asian. We are under one of BS right now honestly, a lot of crap simply because of how we look and where were from. And I fear…I fear…and I’m trying not to fear. I’m trying to have faith but please pray for me. Pray for us. This is Asia from Chicago. I love you all. Thank you.

[gloomy-goober]

I Know Its Today

Part of a Series: GROWING UP PARTS OF A WHOLE AO3

Summary:  Creativity has been locked in this scary room for twenty-three days. In that time he has been sure that his friends have been working tirelessly to break him out. That is why he is focused on small projects to distract himself from the possibility that...just maybe...they haven't even noticed that he is gone. 

But that is silly, such a silly sad thought. Why would they not help him? In fact, he knows that they will show up any day now. Even today probably. 

Characters: Remus Sanders

Warnings: Dark Thoughts (briefly), Isolation, sewing needle pin pricks, storms, mild mutilation (in terms of a Grimms Fairy Tale only mentioned in passing).

**************************************************************************

Creativity hummed to himself as he worked on his latest creation. The young side sat on the floor with his back rested against a cold stone wall. The needle and thread carefully pushed into the buttonhole and then maneuvered back out. A smile shown on his face as he reached for the scissors to cut the string.

His little sock doll. Finally completed. Made with love, blood, sweat, and tears. Literally.

His fingers were covered in small scabs from where the needle had missed its mark. It had hurt a lot in the beginning but now he thought the small red stains on the white fabric of the doll’s face added the extra love and commitment.

The boy set down the scissors and reached for a pair of pipe cleaner glasses that he had crafted earlier. They settled easily behind the ears and into the thread loops he had made to hold them.

“Parfait!”

He pushed himself up onto his feet and grabbed the wall to keep himself from falling. The sudden rush of blood to his legs almost made the child fall.

“Oops, that was stupid of me huh?”

The doll stared back at him with two dark blue button eyes. No real reaction.

“I had to get your eyes on though, Learning, I couldn’t have moved until it was done. Would have messed them all up.”

He continued to talk to the doll as he moved towards the middle of the room. A hammock hung from two stone pillars. A blanket on the floor under it with a pillow. Creativity missed his bed, the one that resembled Snow White’s coffin, but he was no longer in the enchanted forest room.

No. He was here, in this stone castle room. Where one window showed out on a stormy world that was far below. A tower, one might call it.

The side pulled himself up onto the hammock and set the doll down next to another. This one with light blue buttons for eyes and a happy smile stitched in.

“Look, Heart, I brought you a friend.”

He moved Heart’s arm to wrap around Learning’s plush shoulders.

“There,” Creativity smiled at his two creations, “Now we are all together again.”

His smile faded as he looked at the two. His chest felt heavy as he reached to hold Heart’s free hand. The little mitten for a hand was smaller than his palm. While soft it held none of the warmth that he had been so used to outside.

His eyes moved from the dolls to the dark door that had locked him in. The silver and dark oak mocked him with its lack of handle. All he wanted was for it to open. For his friends to be standing there with relieved smiles on their faces.

To be out of this creepy tower room.

“They’ll come soon,” he told the air, “Probably today even! Learning is so smart he probably is just waiting for Heart to figure out how to open the door. I bet they are banging away on it right now.”

He pushed off the hammock carefully so not to disturb the dolls. Heart’s likeness still fell over as he let go of the plush hand.

Creativity moved over to the stone next to the door and picked up a loose stone that he had found. Carefully he scratched another mark onto a large brick.

“Twenty-three. That isn’t too much time,” he told himself, “I bet it just took a bit to…to find the door. Heart probably did not want to disturb me and wouldn’t come in. Now Learning is just doing whatever the nerd does to fix problems.”

He let the rock fall back down onto the stone and moved to lean his head against the door. His ear pressed hard against it as he strained to hear anything outside. All he got was silence.

“You can do it guys. I believe in you,” he said anyway.

He wrapped his knuckled on the door in the tune of the first half of ‘A Shave and A Haircut’. No knocks answered back.

They never did.

His face went blank as he moved back from the door to just stare at it. Thoughts swirled like a raging hurricane in his mind.

What if they never come?

What is it like to starve to death?

Ever wondered what it would be like to be alone forever?

Can I even starve to death?

Would these stones be strong enough to hold up a body?

“Who wants story time!?!” He broke the thoughts with a shout and turned back to the hammock.

His smile was strained and did not meet his eyes. The dolls did not notice; button eyes just stared back blankly from behind pipe cleaner glasses.

“I know just the story to cheer everyone up!” Creativity skipped over to a bookcase. Three books sat on it, pushed between a plastic skull and a case with a replica of the Beast’s rose. He only skimmed the titles before he pulled the largest book off the shelf.

Clumsily he pulled himself onto the hammock and re-positioned the dolls to be seated in his lap. The title up for them to see: ‘Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales.’

“Let’s go with a classic, guys,” he flipped to page 84. The title large on the page.

“Rapunzel. There were once a man and a woman who had long in vain wished for a child,” he began.

His imagination made the scene outside of his room swirl. As he read about the woman’s longing for the rapunzel in the enchantress’ garden the world outside became a garden filled with beautiful herbs and fruits. A cloaked woman stood in the middle of it ready to confront the man that dared to steal from her.

“If the case be as thou sayest, I will allow thee to take away with thee as much rampion as thou wit, only I make one condition,” as he read the enchantress’ words the character outside seemed to move like a puppet on a strings, “thou must give me the child which thy wife will bring into the world; it shall be well treated, and I will care for it like a mother.”

Creativity rubbed his eyes and glanced up at the window as clouds moved to cover the scene. When they parted, the tower view he usually had was back. Below stood the same cloaked figure. Ready to call up to a young girl that she had raised and named Rapunzel.

The very girl that would later betray her mother when a handsome prince climbed her hair and took her as his bride. The very girl that would have her hair chopped off and be cast out into the wilderness. While her prince would be thrown from the tower and be blinded on thorns. Only to be revived by his wife’s tears so he may behold his twin children.

He sighed as he finished the story and hugged the dolls close to his chest.

“That’ll be us soon, without all the love and kids and stuff,” he whispered to the dolls, “I’ll get out of here and we’ll get to live a happy life together. For a long time.”

A storm had started to brew outside. The tower view was now showing thorn covered brambles that surrounded the building like an impenetrable fence. Rain hit the glass window hard and lightning flashed.

“Wonder what it would be like to be hit by lightning,” he mused allowed and then winced, “Sorry Heart. Should have kept that in my noggin.”

The book was pushed to the floor with a thud and he laid down with the two dolls in his arms. He wanted to believe that any moment now the door would open and his friends would be there, but as he drifted off into a light sleep he knew that the room would still have him trapped when he woke up.

[katastroficwriter]

oyés if you’re still taking requests for the holidays howsabout just,,, kiibo learning about holiday traditions and customs from ouma??? also a side of forehead kisses™ because those,, make me Y E L L

All I’m saying is, you totally don’t deserve this update Monica. Geez. You better upload Tuning In’s second chapter or I won’t update KYKM

Kiibo and Ouma had accidentally spent the whole afternoon playing with the children at the orphanage, much to the caretakers and children’s delight. However, even fun and games must come to an end. They had to return to Hope’s Peak before it gets too dark after all. Ouma stopped walking as soon as they entered the dormitory area.

“It seems we got caught in a bind.”

“Huh?” Kiibo paused in his tracks and looked at his companion in confusion. “I don’t understand–”

Ouma sighed, shaking his head before pointing upwards. “Look up, Kiiboy.”

“Oh. A mistletoe,” Kiibo tilted his head. “I don’t see the issue, Ouma-kun.”

“God, how sheltered do you have to be to not even know what’s the deal with mistletoes?” the supreme leader clicked his tongue.

Kiibo frowned, “I do know about the tradition of kissing underneath one! But what I don’t understand is the need to comply. No one’s going to strong-arm us into performing such intimacies–especially if there’s no one around to do so.”

“Oh, you definitely don’t understand how serious this situation is right now, Kiiboy. It’s not the people who you should be worried about, but the mistletoe itself,” Ouma looked up at the greenery hanging above them before shifting his attention back to his mechanical companion.

“Why is that?”

“Because we just got ourselves cursed right now is why,” Kiibo had to blink a couple of times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating when he saw the supreme leader’s hair turn white and his skin pitch black for a split second. It turns out he really was just seeing things when he saw Ouma in his usual color palette.

The android’s brows furrowed upon processing the supreme leader’s words. “Cursed?”

“Mhm! While it’s true that we don’t have to kiss under it, that only applies on regular days. Things are different if you got caught underneath it on Christmas Day–that’s when the curse takes effect.” Ouma raised his index finger, wagging it a little as he spoke. “Refusing to kiss while the curse is in effect would give us bad luck enough to last us a lifetime. And for a robot like you? You won’t like that at all since you’re practically immortal as long as you play your cards right.”

“Guhhh…That certainly sounds troubling…” Kiibo crossed his arms as he thought. “Well? How do we lift this curse?”

“With a whole lot of kissing, obviously,” the supreme leader nodded his head in the direction of the mistletoe. “See those white berries? Those are what gives the curse power. After every kiss, we can pluck one out. All we have to do is kiss until all the berries are gone–the mistletoe loses its power then.”

Kiibo eyed the shrub, his cheeks took on the color of the red poinsettias he found displayed on the dining hall earlier this morning upon spotting that there were in fact far too many berries than he had expected to see. “Do we really need to get rid of all of them?” he looked at his companion with hope in his eyes.

“Yes. Aaaaaaaall of them!”

And Ouma was quick to plunge the android into despair.

Kiibo grabbed at his head, confused, unsure, nervous at the idea of kissing his classmate multiple times just to undo a curse that may or may not be fabricated by the latter just to tease him.

Ouma huffed out a laugh, “You’re worrying too much, Kiiboy. We don’t have to kiss on the lips for every single berry, you know! That would be boring. A kiss anywhere will suffice.”

“R-really?” Kiibo nervously pressed his fingers together.

“Yeah! Besides, I have no interest in sucking face with someone who has gasoline breath–”

“It seems not even Christmas can sway you from your robophobia…” Kiibo mumbled under his breath.

“Of course not!” snorted Ouma. “Anyway, we better take this mistletoe down and undo the curse somewhere the others won’t see us.”

The android saw the logic in that and nodded his acquiescence. “I’ll go fetch a ladder from the warehouse–”

“No need to bother with that,” the raven-haired Ultimate waved him off as he began climbing up the stairs in the dormitory.

“How else would we be able to take the mistletoe down?” Kiibo quirked a brow, freezing upon realizing something. “…Y-you’re not going to ask me to fly, are you? I’ve told you before that I do not have such function!”

“Don’t be silly, I already know how useless you can be,” Ouma halted in his steps as soon as he was on the second floor, ignoring the android’s noise of protest. “All we need is some faith, trust, and a really cool slingshot!” He grinned as he brandished a slingshot out of his pocket.

“Did you have that in your pocket this whole time?” Kiibo huffed.

“Nah, the kids gave it to me as a present,” Ouma smiled, tugging on the rubber band to test its quality. “It’s a really good one too.”

“Are you seriously planning to use a slingshot to shoot it down?” Kiibo directed his attention to the mistletoe above him.

Ouma let out an offended gasp. “You wound me! I’ll have you know that I have a track record of breaking windows with the precision of a sniper using slingshots!”

“Please don’t break windows intentionally using the gift the children gave you…” mumbled the android.

The raven-haired teen responded by sticking out his tongue before taking his aim. “Anyway, what I mean is I’m a good shot. All you have to do is stand there and catch the thing. Surely even you can do something as simple as that.”

Kiibo let out a sigh before nodding, “Alright. I’ll be sure to catch it.”

“You better!” Ouma huffed before holding his breath to keep his aim steady and true. Once he was ready, he let go of the marble and watched it collide with the mistletoe–leading to its literal downfall, with utter satisfaction. He redirected his attention towards his companion after hearing him wince–probably from the marble falling on his head as he struggled to catch the plant.

Kiibo rubbed his head before picking up the marble to prevent any unfortunate falls. “…That was impressive.”

“Why, thank you!” Ouma proudly did a curtsy with his uniform top. “Now get up here, we got some kissing to do!”

“P-please don’t phrase it that way,” Kiibo’s cheeks heated up as he was reminded of their true task.

“Huuuh? How else do you want me to phrase it? That’s as honest as I’ll ever allow myself to be,” Ouma slipped the slingshot back inside his pocket before sauntering his way towards the robot’s room, giving the door two knocks before flashing an expectant look at the android.

He was already used to the supreme leader’s utter disapproval of having anyone enter his room. They first assumed that Ouma was using it to store illegal goods, but after constantly being placed under the mercy of the shorter Ultimate, Kiibo deduced that he was just ashamed to let everyone enter such a cluttered room. Although Ouma still persists on telling everyone that their prior assumption was the truth.

“Now we need some place to hang this above us, but low enough for us to reach he berries,” Ouma hummed.

“Can’t we just hold it above our heads?” Kiibo murmured. “And before you complain about tiring your arms, the same does not apply to me. I can hold it above us without getting tired.”

“Oh? What’s this? Finally coming to your robo-senses?” Ouma’s eyes sparkled, bouncing on his place on Kiibo’s mostly unused bed. “Kiiboy’s finally embracing his robo-self! I’m so happy!”

“Stop unnecessarily prefixing words with ‘robo,’ also, this is the only option that fit your description,” huffed Kiibo.

“Well, as long as I don’t have to do anything else then it’s fine by me,” Ouma grinned, patting the free space beside him. “Hurry so we can get this over with!”

Kiibo found himself gulping nervously, despite not needing to do such action due to his robotic nature. “Perhaps we should count the berries first so we can estimate how many kisses we need.”

“Mm? I guess that’s not a bad idea. You do it, I believe in your bean-counting skills!” the supreme leader leaned back on his arms, looking at the android with interest. “Just don’t run out of battery power as soon as you finish.”

“Enough with your mocking,” frowned the robot, slightly moving away from his companion to count the snow-white berries. “…Nineteen.”

Ouma clicked his tongue. “So only one of us gets to have an extra kiss in, huh.”

“You sound awfully disappointed for someone determined to lift the curse,” Kiibo narrowed his eyes at the supreme leader. He wasn’t really too sure if Ouma’s claims were true. He never really wondered about the Christmas tradition back then considering his father never really hung up mistletoes or pretend to be Santa for him since the professor was just a simple and honest man. He should consult Shinguuji about this supposed curse as soon as they finish this task.

“Non, non, it’s not that I wanted this at all! But even if it’s a cruddy situation, you might as well make the most of it, riiiight?” Ouma playfully tilted his head to the side. “Anyway, let’s settle who does the smooching first with rock, paper, scissors.”

Kiibo blinked, eyeing the other Ultimate’s closed fist before lifting his own. “Fair enough.”

“Rock! Paper! Scissors!”

“Wha–No way! I actually lost?!” Ouma’s eyes widened in shock. He threw out paper while Kiibo threw out scissors. “Aww man this sucks. Why do you get to have an extra kiss…?”

“You really sound disappointed about this,” Kiibo eyed the other in suspicion. ‘For a moment, it looked like he was going to throw out rock… What is he doing? Sabotaging himself like this…’

“I already told you, you have gasoline breath!” Ouma frowned, aggressively wagging a finger at the android. “If I could skip out on one extra kiss from you then I would.”

Kiibo heaved out a heavy sigh.

“Ouma-kun, mind clarifying something for me?”

“Mm? What is it?”

Aquamarine lenses met deep amethyst orbs.

“Does it really have to be me? Is it perhaps possible to have a third person undo the curse for us?”

Ouma tilted his head to the side. “What made you ask that question?”

The android straightened his posture, clasping his hands above his lap. “…So far you’ve done nothing but spew robophobic remarks my way; not to mention, you have repeatedly expressed your reluctance to do this with me. I was merely wondering if it were possible to have an uninterested person undo the curse instead so you’d have someone you actually prefer kiss you instead.”

He could feel the raven-haired Ultimate scrutinize him with a heavy gaze.

“…Unfortunately, it has to be you,” Ouma smiled.

…He’s smiling? What’s with that?

Kiibo looked at his lap, “I see. Unfortunately, huh. I understand.”

“Aww, don’t be sad, Kiiboy~!” Ouma grabbed the android by his shoulders and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “You can use this chance to do something useful for both of us. That should be rewarding enough. Kisses from me aren’t cheap either, you know!”

“O-Ouma-kun, y-you–!” Kiibo’s face was flushed red.

“Mm? Ohhh. Whoopsie~” the supreme leader leaned back. “That one was invalid, the mistletoe wasn’t above us. We wasted a kiss, darn!”

Despite how flustered he was at that moment, Kiibo found himself narrowing his eyes at the other teen. ‘That was definitely on purpose! …On…purpose? Hold on…’

“Earth to Kiibo!” Ouma poked the android on his forehead. “Raise the mistletoe next time, we’re supposed to get rid of the curse after all.”

Kiibo pursed his lips before nodding. ‘If he’s going to act like this, then two can play at this game.’

The android slowly raised the shrub above him, “Alright. Come closer, please.”

“Aye, aye~” The supreme leader scooched closer to the albino, regarding the latter with an expectant look as soon as he was close enough. “Well?”

Kiibo raised his left hand and cupped the other teen’s cheek, brushing away the hair framing his face. His face felt really soft to the touch, and it was warmer than he had expected. Although Ouma was wearing an empty smile, Kiibo could feel him tense under his touch. He wasn’t the only one nervous about this situation–that’s a relief. “Excuse me–”

“Just go for it, dummy!”

Replicating what the supreme leader had done for him earlier, he pressed a chaste kiss on Ouma’s left cheek. He dropped the hand that was cupping his classmate’s face as he pulled away. One.

“Where do we place the berries? From what I know, mistletoe berries are rather poisonous, correct?”

“…Yeah,” Ouma looked around the room for anything they can use. “You could use the trash bin I guess, it looks empty. You can throw the whole thing in it once we’re through, actually.”

“Okay,” Kiibo plucked a berry from the plant and walked towards the trash bin. He carried the trash bin with his free hand and placed it next to his bed. “Give me a moment, I’ll go wash my hands.”

Ouma simply waved him away, a bored expression taking over his face. Once the android disappeared into his bathroom, the supreme leader kicked his shoes off before shifting into a more comfortable position on the bed and hugged his knees to his chest. He closed his eyes, recounting how the robot’s hand held his face so gently despite his build of steel. Nineteen kisses just for him. This is the Christmas present he’s prepared for himself. Regardless of whether the curse was true or false, it shouldn’t reduce the value of the kisses at all.

He flinched a little when he felt the very hands he’s been thinking of gently shake him by his shoulder. The soft voice he’s learned to love in secret was so, so, very close. “Ouma-kun? Are you feeling ill?”

Ouma lifted his head, making a show of rubbing his eyes as he let out an overly dramatized yawn. “Man, you took forever in there. What were you doing? Were you having fun with yourself just after one kiss?”

“Keep your vulgar thoughts to yourself, please.” Kiibo let out a huff as he returned to his place on the bed. “I was making sure I washed my hands thoroughly. I didn’t want you to get sick simply because I decided against washing my hands.”

“How thoughtful of you~ But anyway, it’s back to curse breaking for us,” Ouma flashed the android a mischievous smile as he passed the mistletoe to the latter. “My turn, of course.”

Kiibo lifted a brow when Ouma had grabbed a hold of his free hand, aquamarine lenses widened as soon as he realized what the supreme leader intended to do.

“Mmm-mm! It’s all nice and clean, just like you said,” the shorter teen nodded with approval. He then raised Kiibo’s hand to his lips, making sure to maintain eye contact as he pressed a kiss on the robot’s hand. Two.

It was satisfying to watch the robot trying but ultimately failing to keep his feelings hidden. He’s such an open book to him–which is precisely why Ouma felt safe. Safe to slowly but surely bare his more vulnerable self to the android. Ouma reached upwards to pluck a berry and dropped it into the trash bin. “Your turn.”

Kiibo blinked a couple of times before the words registered in his mind. “A-ah, yes, of course.” His face was still a little red from the kiss earlier. Kind of odd since it was just a hand kiss.

The android simply kissed him on his other cheek. Three.

And so Ouma retaliated with an equally boring kiss on his fingers. Four.

Ouma’s hand. Five.

Kiibo’s cheek. Six.

Ouma’s fingers. Seven.

The other cheek. Eight.

Ouma was starting to get bored of the exchange. Even if every kiss from the android still made his heart flutter, the fact that it was starting to resemble a Kissing Bingo made it a little…. He froze in place when he felt surprisingly warm lips linger on his forehead. Nine. Perfect. Because he felt like he was at cloud nine at the moment and by God, he’s not descending any time soon.

“Ouma-kun? It’s your turn.”

“I know already.”

As though to return the favor, Ouma mimicked the android’s kiss. Ten. They were making quick work of the mistletoe berries, and consequently, they were running out of places to kiss. Kiibo knew this too, and that’s why he’s become increasingly nervous as more and more berries got plucked out of the mistletoe. No one said they couldn’t kiss the same place twice, and yet it seemed like there existed an unspoken rule which said otherwise. Ouma tapped an ear with a knowing look, to which he was responded with a nervous look and eventually, a nod.

“E-excuse me…” Kiibo whispered as he invaded the supreme leader’s personal bubble for the umpteenth time that evening.

“Just get it over with.” Ouma rolled his eyes, pushing his hair behind an ear to give the android easier access.

Kiibo took a deep breath before going for the kiss. Eleven. He was astonished to find that Ouma’s ears had flushed red from the contact, and yet the supreme leader’s face remained blank.… Interesting.

“Hey, Kiiboy.”

“Yes?”

“Close your eyes for a moment, will you?” Ouma tilted his head.

Unable to discern his companion’s intentions, Kiibo silently complied. He tensed a little when he felt the other boy’s hands on his shoulders–to support himself most-likely. His eyelids twitched a little when he felt the other’s lips ghost against them. And there it was, the Twelfth kiss that sent tiny sparks through his entire circuitry. ‘What was that…?’

“Ah–!” Kiibo’s arms flailed around as he fell back against his bed. Using his elbows to prop himself up, he sent the other Ultimate an indignant glare. “W-what was that for?”

Ouma pressed a finger against his lips, “You looked like you were dreaming, so I decided to bring you back to the real world. Get up Kiiboy, we only have seven kisses left.”

“A-alright,” Kiibo returned to his previously upright position and hesitantly wrapped an arm over the supreme leader’s shoulder. He guided the latter’s head a little downwards so he could press a kiss on the crown of his head. Thirteen.

“Hoho, how daring of you. I guess I better step up my game then. No way I’m losing to a robot!” Ouma smirked once the deed was done.

“Lose? This isn’t a competi–” Before the android could even finish his sentence, the supreme leader had already slipped his trademark checker-patterned scarf off of his shoulders with one swift tug, revealing the creamy white expanse that is Ouma’s neck. The novelty of such a view had rendered him utterly speechless.

“Take a picture, it lasts longer,” Ouma regarded the albino with a smug grin as he discarded over his shoulder.

“…I don’t understand. It’s your turn, isn’t it?” Kiibo mumbled his query, eyes darting elsewhere. Somehow it felt wrong eyeing the supreme leader’s rarely exposed neck.

“I can’t exactly step up my game on my turn, you know? You don’t really have that many places for me to kiss,” the supreme leader pouted. “Now turn around for me.”

Kiibo complied without protest, considering it would mean he wouldn’t have to look at the supreme leader’s newly exposed collar, unintentional or not. He raised the mistletoe above them once more, tensing when he felt Ouma’s run his hands down his back before feeling the other teen’s chest pressed against him. Kiibo closed his eyes shut, hoping that the supreme leader wouldn’t take note of the emergency button located on his nape. ‘He’s…he’s too close!’

While the robot was busy panicking, Ouma smiled with amusement as he pressed his lips against the plating on the albino’s back, right where his spine would have been. Fourteen. Despite the robot’s reddening face, the plating on his back remained pleasantly cool to the touch. He gently pushed himself away from the android, taking note of his completely stiff posture.

‘Now…will he take the bait or will he swoop in for the kill?’ Ouma ran a thumb across his lips as he smiled to himself.

“…A-any kind of kiss would suffice, right?”

“Hm?”

Kiibo shifted in his seat a little before shyly looking over his shoulder–his collars were already covering his lower face. “As long as it’s a ‘kiss’ then it would suffice right? Anything goes?”

Ouma leaned back on his hands, “Yeah. A kiss is a kiss. Just don’t forget the mistletoe and we’re good.”

The android was now facing him completely, still flustered from the previous kiss. “A-alright.” He lifted the mistletoe above his head, silently beckoning the supreme leader towards him. What Ouma didn’t expect was to happen as soon as he got close was to have Kiibo lean downwards, closing his eyes ever so slowly.

‘W-wait–! Is he for real?!’ Ouma panicked–he wanted to move away, but he couldn’t seem to move a muscle. ‘H-he’s actually…going for it?’ He found his own eyes fluttering shut, already surrendering himself to the inevitable.

…Except the inevitable didn’t happen. By the time Ouma had opened his eyes, the albino had already pulled away. Fifteen. “What was that?”

Kiibo pressed his fingers together, “…It was a bunny kiss.”

‘No shit it was. There’s a huge difference between getting kissed on the lips and having someone rub their nose against yours,’ Ouma groused internally.

“A-anyway…it’s your turn again,” Kiibo shyly scratched his cheek as he spoke. “We only need four left.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know how to count, Kiiboy.” the supreme leader huffed, gesturing for the mistletoe. “Still, that was pretty childish of you–resorting to a bunny kiss of all things. That barely counted as a kiss!”

“Wha–you were the one who told me that a kiss was a kiss!” the android frowned, almost failing to notice the fact that the shorter male had already leaned down to kiss the symbol located on his left collar. Sixteen.

“Are you deaf? I said it barely counted as one! Meaning, it’s teetering between the lines of not being a kiss and actually qualifying as a kiss.” Ouma made a show of flicking out dirt from his nails. “You better come up with something more flashy for this turn to make up for–”

The supreme leader couldn’t even finish his sentence. As soon as he gathered his bearings, he realized that his back was flat against the bed with two metallic hands placed against his chest to keep him in place. “Ohhh?”

“…I don’t know what it is you want from me. I’ve done everything all according to your instructions, haven’t I?” Kiibo mumbled. “…And now you’re telling me I have to ‘make it up to you’ when I am positive that I did not violate any of your terms? Do none of my actions mean anything to you, Ouma-kun?”

Ouma’s eyes widened a little, taking in the android’s shaking voice, his quivering lips and his watering lenses. ‘…That’s not it at all…you got it all wrong, you stupid robot…’

“Never mind. You don’t have to answer that.” Kiibo adjusted his position above the supreme leader so as not to crush the latter. “…Let’s just finish this so we can be rid of each other.”

Cool metal fingers slowly made its way up the supreme leader’s jawline, guiding the latter’s head to the side to expose more of his neck. Instead of the flustered demeanor which he had been nursing earlier, Kiibo’s face was now tinged with melancholia as he held up the mistletoe with his free hand. Ouma tensed as their bodies slowly came into close contact, with Kiibo’s lips only a hair’s breadth away from his neck. His oh so sensitive neck.

“K-Kiiboy–”

“…Is something the matter?”

Prompting the android to speak while he was practically right next to his ear was a big mistake. Kiibo’s gentle voice practically echoed directly inside his headspace and eventually burying itself deep into his psyche–rendering him speechless.

“…Since there’s nothing wrong, I shall resume.” Kiibo pressed his warm lips against the side of the other boy’s neck, sending figurative sparks straight down his jugular.

Ouma squeezed his eyes shut, willing his urge to push the android away to disappear. If this goes on for any longer, his heart would have burst out of his chest and all of the feelings he had intended to keep would leak out of the mangled organ. He can’t afford to show his hands too early, not when he’s still not sure of where they exactly stood in their odd relationship. Or…if he had a chance for that matter.

He found himself melting into the sheets as soon as the android pulled away from him, he gritted his teeth in a desperate attempt to silence his heart.

Kiibo still looked upset from their earlier conversation, but his cheeks are now dusted with light pink. “Well…?”

Ouma slightly lifted his head, still a little too weak to make his limbs function accordingly. “Eh. It was passable. I don’t have any complaints this time. Isn’t that great, Kiiboy~?”

“Don’t patronize me,” the android huffed as he tossed another berry in the trash bin. The seventeenth berry.

“How rude! Just when I finally decided to praise you a little,” Ouma clicked his tongue, shaking his head a little before moving to sit in a more upright position. “Anyway, two more left. Let’s do this.” He flung his arms over the android’s shoulders, standing on his knees to keep himself nice and steady.

“Alri–what are you doing–?”

“It’s my turn! I’m free to do what I want~” Ouma said in a sing-song manner, guiding the robot’s hand to hold the mistletoe over their heads. That unspoken rule. He’s going to break it. “Pay closer attention to me, okay?”

Somehow…the way the supreme leader’s eyes glistened in the modest lighting of his room sent chills down his spine. It wasn’t like his usual smiling poker face. His intentions remained a mystery, however his eyes carried emotion. An emotion he couldn’t name at this point in time.

Kiibo’s eyes widened at the sensation of the supreme leader’s lips against his forehead once more. His confusion only grew as the raven-haired Ultimate pulled back with such a pure smile.

“Two,” Ouma still didn’t release the robot from his hold, opting to lean right back in instead, ghosting his lips against the robot’s very own. “And with this final kiss…the curse shall be lifted.”

“Ou–”

Ouma’s lips–as Kiibo had come to discover, was chapped and a little rough against his own, most-likely from the cold. Regardless of the roughness, the kiss was somehow pleasantly slow and had already long since surpassed the realm of being chaste. What surprised him even more was the fact that he found himself wrapping his arms around the shorter Ultimate.

One. Two. Three. Four–

Their lips have met each other again and again, not noticing the fact that the mistletoe had already slipped out of the android’s grasp. By the time they had come to their senses, the sheets were already in disarray and the supreme leader was laying atop the other unabashedly.

“Whoopsie~ Those sure were a lot of invalid kisses, huh! You should have told me!” no matter how cheeky and unserious Ouma sounded, his flustered cheeks belied his words. “Anyway, since the curse is lifted, I’ll be on my way now~”

Ouma hastily put on his shoes disguised as efficiency before tossing the entire mistletoe in the trash bin. “I’ll be out of your hair now. Since you were so eager to get rid of me. Ta-ta~”

“O-Ouma-kun, wait–!”

BANG!

The door had already slam shut by the time he got out of the bed.

Kiibo released a defeated sigh as he slowly dropped to his feet, burying his awfully warm face into his pleasantly cool hands in the hopes of lowering his temperature to a more stable degree. This proved to be futile as he foolishly decided that reviewing his memories of the kiss would be a good idea in this kind of situation. It only served to make his face grow hotter, as the sensation of the kisses had imprinted inself in his thoughts not similar to his usual manner of remembering information.

“I…have a number of things to re-evaluate…” he mumbled to himself as he buried his head in his knees. “A number of…things.”

Bonus: “Yes, plucking the berries of the mistletoe after a kiss has in fact been practiced dated back in the 18th century, commonly practiced by British servants.” Shinguuji responded without breaking a sweat–truly he was deserving of his title.

“I see…” Kiibo nodded along. “Were there any curses involved?”

“Curses?” Shinguuji regarded the android with mild surprise. “While it’s been said that refusing a kiss under the mistletoe would bring forth misfortune, there were no records of curses based on the mistletoe.”

Kiibo combed a hand through his hair, already expecting such a result. “…Thank you, Shinguuji-kun.”

“You look red. Are you perhaps overheating?” the taller Ultimate tilted his head as he shut his book closed, offering the artificial human his undivided attention.

“I’m fine. I truly appreciate your concern and for allowing me to take up much of your time. I have some plans for the rest of the day, and I must be off now.” Kiibo raised placating hands as he slowly backed away from his classmate.

“Mmm…I see. Very well then.”

“See you later–!” Kiibo bowed before exiting the Ultimate Anthropologist’s Lab with a single objective in mind.

‘I need to find Ouma-kun…!’

[echodrops]

Noragami 78 Notes

Okay, I put this off long enough (I was busy grading; life is hard).

Here are just a few brief ha ha almost fooled you into thinking I could be brief for a second there thoughts on Noragami chapter 78 under a cut to avoid spoilers.

95% of what I have to say boils down to:

Calm down.

Hey remember that time Yato went off a life-threatening journey and the only thing that saved him was us NOT sitting around waiting for him to come back?

...Yeah, me either. HE’S EVEN WEARING THE SAME OUTFIT AS BACK THEN.

I don’t want to say that Yukine has whatever is coming coming... But when this is how he responds to threats, he sort of has whatever is coming coming. Yukine knows for a fact that Yato’s life is constantly in danger, that he has dangerous enemies, that he gets into trouble at the damn drop of a hat... And he’s still being lax here. This is a prime example of not learning from past mistakes, and that classic Noragami karma is about to smack him hard as hell for it. The manga is literally sending glaring warning signs: You should be with Yato. WHY aren’t you with Yato? What happens after this is going to absolutely be a product of the failure on both sides--Yato’s failure to stay with those who are important to him, and Yukine’s failure for not fighting harder to stay with Yato. Hiyori got smacked already at the end of this chapter for forgetting Yukine and going off on her own to chase Yato, a selfish decision that she paid for with her happiness.

The manga is setting up a very purposeful parallel here, I think:

Just as Bishamon and Kazuma become lost the moment they are separated from each other, Yato’s sense goes out the window the moment he’s separated from Yukine and Hiyori. Noragami repeats this lesson over and over again: We need each other. We need to rely on others. We need to have guidance, and trust, and support.

And Yukine and Hiyori’s failure to do that over the last couple chapters--as well as Yato’s failure to accept their closeness--is going to send them all straight into another crisis. I’ll eat my own post if things aren’t about to go from bad to downright terrible again, with this issue of failing to rely on each other at the very heart.

How much of Nora’s “emotionlessness” is a result of this line of thinking? If she doesn’t think that she should behave like a living girl, does that allow her to think and act in ways that other shinki, who cling to their human lives, can not? Is her ability to transform potentially linked to her casting aside humanity? I am interested to see how far this dismissal of being alive impacts a shinki’s abilities.

Iwami and Kiun are other shinki who might share this mindset to a certain extent, and we certainly know that Kiun is powerful...

Is it just me, or doesn’t this scenery looks very similar to:

The scenery we saw on the page where Father was holding his dead lover/wife/whoever Freckle Girl was to him?

Is it possible that that’s her body? That he didn’t even bury her but went right on living right next to her corpse? JUST HOW MESSED UP IS FATHER? Veryyyy interesting.

Also, the fact that Mizuchi says there were only three people in the beginning implies that she never met the Freckle Girl and that Freckle Girl was not around at the time that she and Yato existed.

Father was only “playing house”--to replace the real home and happiness he lost?

The concept of “playing house” in Noragami is very interesting. It only comes up in the context of gods and humans; we’ve seen it three now in the context of (what is likely) a god playing house with a human: Kofuku hurt Daikoku by trying to “play house” and raise a child; Bishamon hurt her shinki (and was hurt by her shinki) for trying to foster a motherly relationship with them; and Father pretended at kindness and care for his “children” while they were all aware of the real truth.

You could argue that one of these things is not like the other--both Kofuku and Bishamon did what they did out of love, while Father is evil--but I wonder if the third case is really that much different than the first two. Why did Father raise Mizuchi and Yato like his children? Was this a one-sided endeavor in which he bought their loyalty with occasional moments of kindness? Is that all there is to it? Or is there something else going on here?

How much of Father’s “playing house” was pure cruelty... and how much of it might stem for a desire for the very thing Heaven denied him?

Let’s see where this goes, hmmm!

It might be too early to call it, but I’m going to put this out there right now: Mizuchi is a child who died without ever being named.

She’s not affected by god’s greatest secret because she has no human name to remember. Father never said that she knew her name, only that she knew her own last moments. This is why she acted so surprised when revealing Sakura’s name turned her into an ayakashi--Hiiro did not understand the power of names back then because she had no human name of her own for reference. Her power to inflict Liberation on others stems from the fact that she has nothing to tie herself to the Near Shore. She was an unwanted child in her human life and continues to feel like an unwanted child in her life as a shinki.

Holy shit Adachitoka, COULD YOU NOT??? I mean, I don’t know if this is right but it FEELS right and nnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhh I don’t want this; it hurts.

(By the way, the top two leaves fluttering in the wind appear to be gingko leaves, a powerful symbol of endurance and duality in Japan.)

An innocent symbol of child-like play with three people in the boat to represent the family she longs to have but never will? Just kill me now, okay? Just kill me now.

Although this is interesting because we see her first boat fall apart and the people tumble away as she’s talking about playing house. So either this is a second boat, or she put the first one back together sometime during her talk with Yukine. So perhaps this second boat represents a new bond, such as between she, Yukine, and Yato? Mmmmm, who knows???

I’m glad that I was right and Yato chose not to name Kazuma. It was the right choice, even though I’m sad we didn’t get to see what Kazuma would look like as Yato’s shinki. (Well, then again, there’s still time, isn’t there?) We got trolled hard by Scissors-kun, lol.

The line up there is very interesting, isn’t it--because it’s such a Father way of thinking! This is Father’s exact ideology, that humans have no reason for loving the gods and yet they do anyway, accepting the cruelty and abuse of Heaven without question. Kazuma is tripping over the same issue from a different perspective--instead of having something taken from him by Heaven, he’s suffering because of something Heaven is not capable (or perhaps willing) to give. It’s a dangerous line of thought that leads down a dark path. This is honestly the scariest thing Kazuma did all chapter to me!

Is he thinking of Hiyori when he says “people like me” here? Or is he implying that Yato has hurt him in ways similar to Bishamon? The ambiguity of the references here is worth noting. Also worth noting: Yato has no idea what Kazuma is talking about here. Yato doesn’t share his father’s mindset and he doesn’t share Kazuma’s either. I don’t think that Yato sees a huge divide between the love gods can give and the love humans long to receive. He knows they’re not the same (maybe they’re not the same), but I don’t think he would let the issues that Kazuma is dealing with separate him and Hiyori... Or perhaps I’m just too hopeful. XD

All right, all right, now to the thing everyone is freaking out about...

Why are y’all so anti-Kazuma??? He’s not attacking Hiyori out of cruelty--he’s trying to protect her.

He even says it himself--he recognizes the signs of Hiyori’s infatuation. He sees her inability to avoid getting tangled up in the calamity that surrounds Yato. Who the hell do you think he’s really talking about here? He’s not just talking about Hiyori--he’s talking about himself.

The suffering that he has felt from loving Bishamon and not having that love returned is a pain akin to a curse. It’s enough to drive him to want to die, to fill him with such deep despair that he is willing to forsake all of his morals, his name, his “life”‘s meaning, everything he stands for. Since falling in love with Bishamon, he’s faced catastrophe after catastrophe, seen and dealt with things no human should ever have to face--witnessed friends murdered and murdered a friend, betrayed Heaven, turned his power on literal gods... There is NO DEPTH Kazuma will not sink to out of love for Bishamon, and that’s agonizing. He’s in pain, guys.

And he sees the whole damn cycle about to start again. He sees Hiyori’s feelings. He sees her love... And he sees how much Yato is ruining her life. He sees her forgetting her human family, ignoring their concerns, ignoring day-to-day human activities, being exposed to all the risks that Yato brings along with him, actively suffering at Father’s hand because of her involvement with Yato...

Kazuma sees that Hiyori is going down the exact same path of suffering, of “playing house” that he’s been on for hundreds of years, and so he does the only thing he can do to try and dissuade her: he tells it exactly like he thinks it is. He’s not lying to her here. He genuinely thinks what he’s saying is the truth. He genuinely believes that gods cannot return human feelings in the way that he and Hiyori desire, and that her pursuing Yato will only end in sadness and pain for everyone involved. He’s not wrong to want to stop that by separating them from each other forever.

The problem is, Kazuma STILL thinks that he’s always in the right. He only confessed with “vague words” and yet seems perfectly certain that Bishamon--who has never exactly been a pro at picking up signals from others--totally understood him and rejected his feelings of amorous love.

It hasn’t occurred to him that perhaps his vague words just didn’t reach Bishamon the way he wanted them to, and that she doesn’t understand that he loves her in a way different from just a normal god and shinki loving comradeship. That perhaps all this time she did have more love she could have given, if only she’d known it was needed or wanted. He’s her guidepost, but in this he didn’t guide her.

Maybe Bishamon does know, and maybe she did reject his romantic feelings. Maybe he’s right and gods really can’t love humans. (Kofuku and Daikoku are over here in the corner waving frantically though.) OR... MAYBE Kazuma is being a giant freaking idiot like always and leaping to conclusions he should never have drawn based on incomplete information and “vague words,” and passing his pain and suffering on to others, mistakenly believing he’s doing the right thing while actually just screwing everyone else over hardcore.

One of these two things somehow seems more likely than the other...

Not sure why anyone is freaking out about Hiyori’s tail? He missed (he was only trying to scare her anyway, it seems pretty clear, because if Kazuma can hit lightning in the sky, I think he could hit a target five feet in front of him)--the white stuff around her tail is snow spraying off the roof.

ANDDDDD here we go!!

So Hiyori admits she’s in love with Yato, finally. AT WHAT COST. I hope this didn’t really take anyone by surprise, since it really has been in the works for some time now.

I actually discussed how I felt Hiyori’s feelings were changing and how she was slowly coming to accept her feelings for Yato more than a year ago, in this post: http://echodrops.tumblr.com/post/164900791646/ive-read-different-opinions-on-whether-yatos

Adachitoka did a fabulous job of building up to this moment, very slow, incremental changes in Yato and Hiyori’s relationship. From the moment that Hiyori flashes back to here, where she told Yato she wanted to spend more time with him, to the Capyperland crisis where she envisioned Yato beside her instead of Fujisaki, then actually going to Capyperland and telling Yato that she wanted to be with him longer, to the scene where she allows Yato into her room while she’s undressed, to calling Yato her family to Fujisaki’s face, to seeing her plaque tied to Yato’s--making them soulmates--and NOT rejecting that or demanding Kofuku untie them... I mean, especially that last one.

Like I mentioned last year, Hiyori has spent at least a couple in-series weeks now living under the impression that she and Yato are now soulmates, and the moment she didn’t freak out about that and demand to be set free from that just screamed it to me that, deep down, she was okay with the idea of being in a relationship with Yato, even if she wasn’t quite willing to express her feelings out loud yet.

But now she’s over it. And theoretically, things should get better from here.

EXCEPT LOL JK, IT’S NORAGAMI; NOTHING’S EASY.

Yato and Hiyori are gonna have to WORK for their happy ending.

But you know what? I think it’s coming. Now, more than ever, I think a happy ending is coming.

Calm down. Deep breaths. Have faith.

[everyonesawhoregrace]

The Good Side

Part 4

tag: @wefracturedmotivation  @reyloshipper-starwars    ok i keep on trying to add the other tags but it isn’t working so i will private message each time i post to whoever wants me to. x 

read 3 here

read 2 here

read 1 here

enjoy xx

The following day was expected to go easier as the last few. My mind was still racing at the fact that I got an apology out of Tommy fucking Shelby. Magic is real, and in the palms of my hands clearly.

I went home with the thought of him, thinking about silly things like his parents and his family life. The wedding ring meant he was married which made me think of his lady. I got to imagining the life of Tommy. Pictured everything a certain way without my actually knowing a single thing about him.

On my way to work, I felt a bit off. A little nervous than before, and it was an emotion I can only describe as the sign of me knowing I’m going to see Tommy soon.

I was excited. Shy. Nervous.

All the things I would normally feel, had I been crushing on someone. Was I crushing on Tommy? I don’t bloody know. Scratch that, I do fucking know. The answer was yes.

He has eyes the colour of the sky on a summers day. The face of a God who came straight from heaven. The voice is a man who can scoop me up into his arms.

I could almost hear my nagging subconscious, he choked you, with intentions of killing you. How can you be interested an a woman beater?

All questions I should ask myself. But as I swept mascara through my lashes and put on heels, was I thinking about that? Fuck no.

“Good morning Alene,” the warden Grant says to me. He smirks, blushing at me. He’s a little red man with a bald head. A bastard who tries to glance under nearly every woman’s skirts. “You look ravishing.”

“God.” I roll my eyes. “Can’t a woman wear heels and a little blusher without being ravishing?”

He laughs. “It’s just that usually you look quite dead.”

I get it, I’m being an arsehole. I deserved that.

“Can I help you with anything?” I ask, pushing my things into my little locker. I look down at Grant, who clears his throat.

“Yes actually,” he licks his lips. “A gentleman is here from the church. A member called father Hughes.”

“Okay?” I close my locker. “What’s that got to do with me?”

“Well he asked for you specifically. I assumed maybe you two were acquainted.”

“Acquainted?” I almost laugh seeing as I haven’t been to church in over twenty years. Never once picked up a Bible either. 

“Yes. He said he attending your wedding.” Grant looks at me as if I am some sort of mad woman, he’s almost certain this person attended my wedding when I know he didn’t. 

I turn and stare at Grant. My wedding that happened nearly ten years ago? The same wedding that only a handful of close family and friends were invited to? I almost laugh, that’s impossible. 

A voice is sounded from afar and before I can even turn my head does Grant smile widely and spin me around to face the person. “There he is, father Hughes, I found her.” Grant, in his cunning ways disappears in the back, leaving Hughes and I alone. 

Only then do I begin to imagine this man as the perpetrator who hurt Thomas in such a way. 

“Hello.” He says, extending a hand. 

I am hesitant at first, his smirk alone is something that makes me worried. Not taking his hand, I look up into his lifeless eyes, “You told Grant you know me?” I tilt my head, “I don’t recall us ever meeting.” 

“Perhaps you can allow me the privilege of rejogging your memory.” He mentions the hallway. “Lets walk, shall we?”

Not denying him, and knowing I must make my rounds soon. I take my medical kit and head out, with him following close behind. 

“I’m sorry to hear about your ex husband.” He tells me, hands behind his back as he walks beside me. 

I notice that we are heading downstairs, he seem to know exactly where we are going, which makes me question his intentions. Downstairs is of course where Tommy is. 

I keep my cool, despite having a meltdown. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

He scoffs. “Come on now Alene,” He has his head up, confidently taking strides beside me. “Your husband who you seemingly loved, gave up on your marriage the moment he found out you couldn’t do your job as a woman.” He murmurs, revealing only what my immediate family know of. He leans in, “A woman who cannot reproduce is everything but woman, isn’t that right?” 

I stop the moment he stands before the doors of Tommy’s room. I face him, spinning around so that we are literally face to face, and he is not able to wither himself into Tommy’s room. My face burns, I want to crawl into a ball and hide away from the truth. But how can I? 

You’ve got more to give, that’s what my sister said when she got news that I was unable to reproduce a child of my own. The love my former husband and I had for each other was no match for the true love he had of wanting a child someday. Heartbreaking really, it was an ordeal that broke us. 

“How do you know this about me?” I ask, looking up at him. “Who did you have to manipulate in order to find that out?” 

He smirks, “Your secrets are nothing in a holy house such as the church. As a matter of fact,” He puts his hand out, and with the back of his hand, he runs it over my cheek. I pull back, denying him. “Your mum was not a hard lady to confess. She practically showed up in confessional every day. She told me about your father, and how much he hit her. Told me that you took a liking to him. Daddy’s girl. While you sister preferred the company of your mother.” He nods, as if to confirm everything. 

My face gives it all away, mums always been an avid and devoted Christian woman, she’s always praised Jesus, despite the many difficulties he’s brought to her life. An abusive husband who ended up in jail at least for half of his life. And then two snotty daughters, one who hated her - me, and one who loved her endlessly - my younger sister Gabby. I take a step back, hitting my back against the metal bars that protect us from Tommy. 

“My mother only has one weak spot, and thats from you no good, lying Christians who feel superior to the innocent and feebleminded.” I hiss, “You used her weakness to your advantage, but let me tell you something Father. I know just as much about you as you know about me. These underlying details of molestation and sexual assault that goes on behind closed doors of the churches. And although I cannot bare children, something tells me I won’t go to hell for it.” I reveal, looking into his eyes. “But you might, for knowing the things you know. And I’m not saying you partaking in such horrendous crimes against children but, if you do, I hope you die slow and painfully.” 

He frowns so deeply and shaken, I think he might hit me, Hughes stares down at me. “You’re stronger than your mum, you should be proud of that.” He says, nodding once. “Perhaps thats why, I heard there is a man here who you’ve been tending to.”  As I stand there looking clueless of the fact that Father Hughes could potentially be the man Tommy was warning me about all along. “A man named Tommy Shelby.” 

“I don’t know who that is.” I reveal, trying to keep my calm. My medical kit is hooked around my fingers. I want to throw it at him, and run away. I press it close against me, creating a divider between myself and Hughes. 

“No?” He smiles. “You’re not lying to a man of God, are you?” 

“Fuck God.” I snicker, rolling my eyes. “And fuck you, you can shove all of that exploitation and trickery up your arse for all I care.” 

Hughes gets uptight, upset, he puts his hands up but I am too quick for him to touch me in any sort of way.

“Don’t you dare put your fucking hands on me!” I snap, not too sure what I plan on doing with my hands in a knotted fist. “I swear, I’ll scream.” 

Again, this amuses him. “Scream! Oh the inmates would love that I’m sure. A beautiful young lady like yourself crying out, it’ll only arouse the beasts.” 

Shaking my head, I look up at him and sigh. “Hughes, please, your being quite ridiculous and I have work to attend to-” I try to walk around him, but he blocks my body from moving. 

“Tell me where Tommy is.” His chest puffs out. 

“Who the hell is Tommy?!” I lie, just before he lunges at me.

Of course, me being thinner, shorter, and much more equipped of my surroundings, do I maneuver myself perfectly so that I duck under his arms and around him. I am quick to spin around but the moment I do, my cheek comes right in contact with the back of his hand. A slap to the cheek that nearly makes me sink the floor, my medical kit breaks open, and the first thing I set my eyes on, I reach for. A pair of scissors, harmless really unless I angle it right into his artery, killing him. But Hughes is on his feet and pushes his foot into my flattened hand, I cry out, looking up at him for mercy but he leans down and covers my mouth with his hand. That smirk embeds itself into my brain, like a cancer that won’t go away. 

“Listen ‘ere girl, you think you’re protecting the lad...”

My eyes widen at the figure behind Hughes, Tommy stands behind the bars, looking at me as if I’m a schoolchild whose gotten hurt. He pities me. I look back at Hughes, making sure to keep his attention on me. I swallow, tears in my eyes. 

“This’ll only backfire and if I find him somewhere in this prison,” Hughes looks up and around before bringing his gaze back down to mine. “I promise you, Alene, I will break each one of your precious fingers and you’ll be nothing .” Hughes warns me. “Do you understand?” 

I nod, yelping like a dog the moment he pushes down on my fingers before finally letting go and I fall into a fetal position. I suck in a breath, grinding my teeth together as my eyes water. Pain pulses through my fingers, I can see my middle finger and ring finger just oozing of blood, I try to move my pinky, but I cant. I’m bent too far, I take my wrist with my other hand, looking at my fingers to conclude that I’ll be out of work for days. Hughes walks away from me, and I let out a loud scream filled with regret, sadness, anger, desperation, I don’t know, but as I look down at my semi-squished fingers do I hear the bars slide open and his feet in my eyesight. 

I am lifted up into his arms, and I weakly open my eyes to see Thomas’s blue eyes glisten. He stares down at me, murmuring something, but I can only hear a buzzing in my ear. I’m in shock, I know this, but as the tears roll down my cheeks do I stare at his moving lips. 

I got you, I’ve got you. You’re okay. You’re going to be fine. I’ve got you, Alene. 

[terresdebrume]

Random rambling about a random day

So today was A Day You know when you do a thing you were totally capable of doing before and then your body is like ‘you’re turning thirty next year you numbnugget’? Yeah, that’s me this week. Actually, that’s been me since last Thursday, when I stayed up until 3am ish to write The space between, and then proceeded to send what little was left of my sleep schedule straight to the trash can. To be fair, my working hours just do not work for my natural rhythm. The most refreshing time of my existence was right after I came back from visiting Fel in Korea, when I’d gotten in the habit of being in bed by nine and waking up before seven (no forced methods necessary, it just felt like the right thing to do). This worked because, at the time, my at-work work day started around 10am and ended at 5:30pm, which allowed me to be home by 6pm and do all extraneous work on weekdays before I got to the workplace. (Also I had less teaching hours, which takes a buttload of work off your shoulders, let me tell you.) Unfortunately, I specialize in teaching younger students, who are in after-after-school-classes-classes when they come with us, which means the earliest of them start as 5pm. And I have to be available for them. So I’m stuck with that for the foreseeable future, unless the new boss decides to stop the children’s classes entirely (they are, apparently, not profitable enough). And I mean, I love teaching the kids’ classes, but boy does that make me tired xD

Which is honestly 98% of the reason why today was A Day: I went to work  without my wallet, then came home to get it back because, although a  friend lent me some money for the day, I wouldn’t have been able t  afford lunch and my journey to and from my physiotherapist appointment. I  got home, had lunch, got in a tuktuk to the physiotherapist’s and then   realized my appointment is actually tomorrow. And I couldn’t change my   destination because the driver spoke no English and I couldn’t think of how to express what was happening in Khmer at that moment. (I did, obviously, figure it out right as the tuktuk was leaving, after I paid :P) Then  I got back to work and, because I’d been away longer than planned or   necessary, I had to finish a thing I’d planned to finish earlier,   meaning I didn’t have time to prepare my kids’ class (which I guess is   one more reason why I should try to do that on the weekends/in the   morning but that’s my free/sleeping time, NO) so I had to improvise 1h30  of class which was...interesting. I’m just glad I have a couple   time-consuming rituals and their languages skills are small enough to   make any new activity a bit of an ordeal (so anyway, they learned the   word ‘and’ and how to pronounce a bunch of letters combos that they   didn’t know before, so there’s that). The strange thing is, I’m   super tired (and should be in bed rn but I got home past 8pm which means  I haven’t even had two hours of post-work leisure time yet so we’ll   deal for another couple minutes) but at the same time I’m proud of   myself because I managed to improvise in a constructive and somewhat   interesting way! We’ve been doing a lot of talking about kids’ classes   these days because up until now the motto was ‘who cares about writing, we want to make them want to keep going with french’ which was cool but  also led to some problems...and anyways, the new (well, he’s been here  for nearly six-ish months now so…) boss wants to introduce written   French in these classes. Meaning I’m experimenting a ton of new stuff  with my classes (I have a double level this session! it’s exhausting! And complicated! But I’m managing! it’s doing me a proud!) and setting things up in a more efficient way! Which I have to say is doing   wonder for my self esteem and ego. Like, literally, this morning my   friend Julie called me organized which LOL, one more point in favor of   the fake it till you make it column xD Anyways, I don’t know,   this post suddenly just turned into ‘things I want to do at work this   year’ and I’m not sure how but I’ll take it. One of my medium-length   term projects (in between putting money on the side to visit trovia this  summer) is to invest in a school supplies box of wonder for myself and  my class. I get MAJOR envy whenever I see people post pictures of their  classroom which is THEIRS and they have all the material needed and  whatnot! And I’m not planning on bringing everything I need to work with  myself but I’m tired of always having to split insufficient material  between three classes (because HR gripes about buying scissors for the  kids to often but apparently okayed a new TV screen for the lobby, which  I’m a little salty about) and so I figure if I could just make sure I  always have:

  1 mini whiteboard (whatever you call these in English, I don’t feel like looking it up rn) per student

1 whiteboard marker per student (I actually had that at one point   until I forgot to ask for them back one too many time (or someone needed  to borrow one idk) because I tend to pick up the ones my colleagues   don’t use anymore and they’re refillable which is good enough for what I  do with them)

1 box of color pencils per student (or at least, per two students)

1 pencil, eraser, pair of scissors, stick of glue, pencil sharpener and black pen per student

My  life as a teacher would be that much easier and less stressful tbh. Not  to mention I might get work to pay for some of that, which would be  double nice, but I’m not counting on it too much. I’m just tired of   having to ruffle through my own cases and realize I keep losing stuff   because the kids plain don’t remember to hand things back and I don’t   remember to ask for it often enough. (Also I don’t want to deal with the hassle of fighting a ten years old who doesn’t even seem to realize  that ‘his’ marker is the freaking marker he forgot to hand back, I know  because I remember the use patterns on that one). Anyway what I  get from this post so far is I’m tired (which I knew) and more than a  little anal when it comes to work and I let myself indulge in it (which I  did not know for many years but am more and more acutely aware of, and  also I might make a post specifically about that) and all semblance of  coherence flies right out the window as soon as I’m not a) at work or b)  writing—and even then, sometimes it’s a tenuous grasp. Man am I rambly. Oh  well. Maybe one day I’ll talk about work more, it’ll do me some good to  reflect on my methods and/or brag about my progresses in organizational  skills. In the meantime, I’m gonna sign off and go collapse on my best  for a while—kudos to anyone who read that far, and see you all later. Also, reminder to self: I need to signal boost a thing from DW sometimes this week. Maybe tomorrow morning.

[italicwatches]

Aho-Girl - Episode 05

Let’s see how this goes and if we keep escalating. It’s Aho-Girl, episode 05! Here we GO!

-It’s the last class before summer…The vacation is coming! Yoshiko couldn’t be more excited! Sayaka is fully excited too! And A-kun? A-kun could take it or leave it. He just wants to study.

-Yoshiko cannot believe this. And so when she tries to play the wrong half of a boke and tsukkomi, he barely even twitches when he COUNTERs her in the face.

-Opening! Everyone is away on vacation.

-Episode 05: Summertime! Aho Girl!

-New scene! Yoshiko hops across the balcony on the first day of summer to deliver a good morning kiss to A-kun. The resulting violence is unseen and thus unnamed, but Yoshiko’s head is embedded in the god damned ceiling. And Ruri comes in mad that Yoshiko is causing trouble at six in the god damned morning. But Yoshiko pulls herself free, because she has tickets! Tickets to go see the latest Prechure movie! …Ruri is intrigued.

-A-kun immediately assumes she wouldn’t be interested, but then sees the look in her eyes and OKAY GUESS THEY’RE GOING TO SEE PRECHURE. His desire to protect his dear sweet imouto is adorable.

-To the theater. Be silent, Yoshiko, for respect of the movie.

-She lasts into the first fight scene before A-kun has to tape gag her. And he also realizes what we all have, that Precure has really damn good fights. …Also that tape comes back out to deal with Yoshiko’s wild gesturing. Now, peace can be achieved.

-Except his sister starts shouting, and he immediately gets furious, before realizing it was Ruri! Oh fuck. Oh fuck he got mad at Ruri. And then Yoshiko breaks free of the tape to be all encouraging…And somehow manages to ruin things in the entire theater and A-kun has to start rallying these children and they are ruining the movie for everyone. A-kun quietly realizes there is literally no clean way out of this.

-He only has one option.

-…He’s sorry, Ruri.

-VULCAN CHOP, and Ruri passes out. I know I used that one once before but.

-COLLARBONE BREAKER for Yoshiko to knock her out by force. And then A-kun just hauls the both of them out of there at speed, as he and Prechure save the day.

-Ruri wakes up at the table, finding herself in front of a finished book of summer homework. You worked on it all day, Ruri, you must have dozed off and had a dream about going to the movies. Good work! Maybe he’ll take you to go see something as a reward.

-Yoshiko wakes up back in her room, finding herself no longer at the movies. …She must have learned Teleport! Is she a fucking pokemon.

-New scene! Yoshiko and Sayaka have come to retrieve A-kun and drag him to the beach. Yoshiko, at maximum smug, shows off the riches she won at the supermarket. Passes to a hot springs for an overnighter trip!

-And cue Boob President, who cannot allow them to go unobserved! You just want to see A-kun naked, but Yoshiko is happy to invite her. And even Ryuuichi is here! …What the hell are the two of you doing here?

-…Ryuuichi wanted to come hang out but didn’t know how to ask so he’s been standing outside all morning trying to figure out how to approach. Dude, chill.

-Boob President was observing him intently to ensure moral behavior was being achieved. So you were stalking him.

-So they need swimsuits! And somehow A-kun ends up dragged to the shop…Where Yoshiko tries to turn him on, Boob President tries to turn him on more, and Ryuuichi wants to get matching swim trunks. You know he’s not going, right?

-Y-You have to go, A-kun! If you’re not going, why is Boob President even bothering?! To keep this noted delinquent from doing something bad? SHE DOESN’T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOR. …You are terrible at your job. Sayaka, meanwhile, despairs, because they all want to be friends with him!

-Sayaka…Listen. You’re fine. He likes you and respects you. But the rest of this bag of mixed nuts is too much hassle. Th-They might be strange, but…You’re no less strange! You’re stubborn and prejudiced and refuse to accept their efforts to be with you! B-B-But they’re, they aren’t drawn to him, they’re drawn to Yoshiko, a weird idiot freak…

-Yoshiko is drawn to you because she wants to help you! A-kun despairs…But, but if you’re in this mess, then you’re as weird as the rest of them, Sayaka! …Maybe. But would you abandon her for that?!

-And if you do…You’ll be back to just only having Yoshiko for a friend, and Sayaka can’t do anything for you, and you’ll just grow old with Yoshiko and nobody else…

-That, is the single most horrifying thought A-kun can imagine. …He’ll go to the beach. Anything to dilute the concentration of Yoshiko in his life. And they are all very eager to celebrate Sayaka’s powerful logic skills.

-New scene! It’s beach time…Except Ryuuichi and Boob President are the first ones there and it’s awkward. Boob President loses herself into fantasy of a night at the beach, of Akutsu-kun seducing h—

-YOSHIKO’S MOM APPEARS

-Yoshiko brought her! She heard you’re going on a trip with Yoshiko and the others, and she can smell a home wrecker a mile away…SHE KNOWS YOUR TYPE BECAUSE SHE WAS YOUR TYPE! And in a flash, she has Boob President’s bag open and steals the bikini, drawing nipples on it!!! You can’t wear this now! NOOOO!

-Boob President despairs, and Yoshiko’s mom laughs…But Boob President refuses to surrender! She’ll just wear a shirt over her bikini! Also Yoshiko draws nipples on her own bikini because Yoshiko.

-…Fine. Yoshiko’s mom will just CUT THE NIPPLES OUT! You’ll be fully bare! Ryuuichi grapples Yoshiko’s mom, trying to remember what his amazing A-kun-sama-aniki would do…

-The problem is, he doesn’t have the rapport or the need to be kept around that A-kun does. So Yoshiko’s mom immediately goes up an octave and cries out help, this man is groping her! A helpless housewife! …He’s, not, letting go! You think you can ruin his reputation any more than his delinquent past already has?! You’re not ruining their beach trip, you old hag!!!

-…What did you just call her.

-She has them dead fish eyes, and slips free to SHOULDER TOSS Ryuuichi into Boob President and into a wall, full on Final Fight style! She stands over them triumphant, having won a million more catfights than you brats have ever seen…A-kun is hers, and hers ALONE! She raises the scissors—

-And A-kun catches her, as she goes up an octave again to protest her innocence. This, this is just her protecting her retirem—Your innocence and safety, A-kun! This, this home wrecker wants to steal you away!

-He HEADLOCKs her immediately. You, are nearly, forty years old! It is time to fucking act your age! He finally lets her go, and do you swear to stop this, or will he have to use more force?

-NEITHER! She throws her own bra at him, lacey and fancy and still warm, and escapes! THEY WILL MEET AGAIN, home wrecker! OH HOHOHOHOHO! And she’s gone, with a furious and stubborn will…

-As Sayaka, hiding some distance away, is so very glad she did not get involved.

…I gotta say, I did not see weaponized bras coming.

[wetsockonyourfoot]

I Ain’t Your Southern Belle

(so i’m trying to post this on AO3, but I thought I might give it a try here! Sorry if this sucks!)

If there was one thing Jesse McCree wasn’t, it was a coward. That being said, when he was suddenly tossed to the wild unknown that is the foster care system, he was a bit scared. Not cowardly, just… slightly scared. After all, it’s not every day that a family disowns a thirteen-year-old child simply because he was born the wrong gender. The night honestly had been a blur, but as there seemed to be no one in the place aside from Jesse the foster care system decided to give him to a rather trusted couple who had been hosting children for several years now. Morrison-Reyes was the family name, according to what Jesse had been told, and they consisted of a cop and a high school teacher. Why they wanted another kid to look after was something of a mystery to Jesse when the found out they already had three other kids in their home. Not only that but he knows they got the records of him from before.

Jessie Isabella McCree hadn’t the greatest past. He knew from a young age that had been born the wrong gender, and the tight feeling of shame of his own situation had only grown under the influence of his birth parents. They and his two older brothers had never approved of the idea, forcing him to wear dresses, and bows. Treating him more like a doll than a person with feelings and thoughts of their own. So, on the faithful night that they kicked him out, Jesse knew he would never be allowed back near their farm, not that he wanted to be anyway. So now at sixteen years old, three years after being kicked out, he was finally found by child services and forced into the system. It all happened too fast for him to really recognize what was going on, but perhaps that was for the better. He put up little fight, though when asked his name by the officer that got him, he did reply with Jesse, and though it has little difference in pronunciations, the drop of the I in his mind did wonders.

From there he was tossed around a bit for about two weeks, before it was decided he would be going to the Morrison-Reyes home for thanksgiving and Christmas to see if they would be a suitable match. Few days of paperwork later he arrived in front of a classic two-story brick home, modernized and decorated already for Christmas even though it was about a week before Thanksgiving. School, which he had to be put back into, would be out within the week, so he would be forced to spend time with the family. He did find out though that one of his foster parents was the Spanish teacher in his school, which turned out well since Jesse was almost fluent in the language. Probably the only good thing that had come out of living in a Spanish guys house for the past three years, was the immense pick up of the language.

Thus, he was introduced to Jack Morrison, and his husband Gabriel Reyes. Jamie was the overexcited and slightly loud Australian whom he would share a lot with and also the newest of their children, Hana being an original member of the family as she had been adopted first and was a baby even before the couple was married. Finally, there was Lúcio, a gifted youth who matched Hana in age, both being eleven, and excelled with music. Hana was a rising competitive gamer, and Jamie was an inventor. All of this information was thrown at Jesse within the span of about twelve minutes. Oh, and dinner was in ten.

“C’mon, put your bags down son, we’ll get your settled.” Jack stated with a smooth voice that honestly suited the whole golden boy look he fitted in. Blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect smile, and a toned body. Not that Jesse was really looking at the last thing, but hey it was obvious why the man attracted Mr. Reyes. Gabriel Reyes however was a dark skinned, and hard edge sort of man. He looked like the kind that would quiet literally snap some one’s neck in half if they so much as looked at him wrong. Jesse was not a coward, just a little scared.

“Yer uh… my Spanish teacher…” Jesse mumbled looking at the hulk of a man.

“And you’re the child that’s been skipping class since you got put in my class.” He answered back simply raising a brow that Jesse ducked down at.

“Uh… yeah about that-” Jesse laughed uneasily before yelping as he was pulled into the kitchen by an overly enthusiastic Hana.

“Scare him later papa, I want dinner and dad said we’re not having it till we’re all there!” She called back towards the man, who just shrugged behind the kids and followed in line.

“So Jesse, you’re sixtee right?” Jack asked and received a nod. “When’s your birthday?” He carried on the conversation.

“Oh uh, it was like July 28th or somethin’… I ain’t got a good memory for dates.” Jesse answered slowly edging into a seat that was offered up by Jamie who seemed to be eyeing him down curiously.

Mr. Morrisons brows furrowed in confusion as he turned and handed a full plate of food to Hana. “You don’t remember? Now how do you forget your own birthday?” He tried to joke, but ended up only making Jesse duck his head down more.

“I aint celebrated it in a… a while.” Jesse answered truthfully as Jack just nodded and cut of his awkward laughter.

“Well maybe we can change that.” He offered up a plate to Jesse, who hesitantly took it and put it down on the table as quietly has humanly possible. Dinner continued on in this manner with Mr. Morrison trying to find out some stuff that had already been on Jesse’s files from Jesse himself, and the teen giving a half answer since he didn’t even know most information on himself anymore. Once he was done pretending to eat and pushing food around on his plate, he stayed and helped Mr. Reyes clean up.

“You know kid,” The man started. “You’re only gonna make this awkward if you keep dancing around and keep it awkward like this. I suggest you just give up and try to make yourself as comfortable as possible in this situation.” Reyes advised as they finished up, Jesse drying off the last dish and putting it onto a pile he had made. Seeming to be done talking, Jesse was lead to his room by Jamie. The room was right across from the couple’s room, with the remaining three upstairs if he needed them. A simple full bed, and dresser it was obvious the room was for guests. Reaching down and touching the quilted blanket on the bed, sighing as he dropped his single bag of clothing he owned. Most of it was worn down and ratty but it’s what he had so that’s what he’d wear for the remainder of his stay he supposed. Flopping onto his bed Jesse sighed and tried to curl up to get some sleep after he kicked off his shoes which thumped onto the floor.

The following morning was a Saturday, and while normally Jesse would be rejoicing the lack of school, it meant he had to spend time with his new foster family. He was up late in the morning, around 10 am was when he woke up. Wandering into the bathroom connected to his room he firstly relieved himself, and then focused on looking presentable. Popped a few zits, and rummaging through his bag for some bandages he taped up his chest. He knew this was a bad thing to do, but it’s all he could afforded and no one ever stopped him, so bandaging it was. He dreamed of having enough money to own a proper binder in all honestly, but with how things were before and the now lack of any money at the moment, he knew this was a dream for another day.

Brushing his greasy hair, he decided he would find out how to take a shower later, and headed out in the same clothes he had worn the day before. Jack was standing in the kitchen when he came in, sending a kind smile when he noticed the new comer in the kitchen. The home had been remodeled to have an open floor plan Jesse suspected, as the kitchen wall was blown open so it included the living room. An island separating the living area from the kitchen area and at the island sat a very sleepy looking Jamie and Hana who both were eating cereal with varying degrees of success in getting the fruity loops into their mouths. By Jesse’s judgment, currently Jamie was winning in getting the most in his actual mouth. Hana meanwhile was making a nice collection in her long hair.

Jesse subconsciously touched his own hair as he thought about when it was down to his waist. His mother refused to let him get it cut, and eventually he took a pair of scissors to it and fixed the problem himself. It was sloppy, and a little long in the front now, but it was above his shoulders and that’s all he cared about. “Morning Jesse.” Jack greeted him, snapping Jesse from his thoughts and the man gestured towards the breakfast bar. “Want some cereal?”

“I’m good actually.” Jesse declined not wanting to take even more of their food. “What’s everyone doin’?” He drawled out looking to the living room where Lúcio and Gabriel were decorating the large fireplace located on the adjacent wall to the door and stairs. Stockings and other items being hung up with care and lots of command hooks.

“Oh they’re just finishing up decorations.” Jack explained as Jesse mindlessly nodded along. “You can join them if you like and aren’t hungry.” He offered up as the teen nodded once more and moved into the living room watching till Gabriel noticed him and grunted to Jesse.

“Here, help him put these up on the tree.” He spoke out as the teen jolted into movement to help. Lúcio was humming while they did this, and slowly Jesse worked himself into a rhythm of handing the younger an ornament for the tree, and waiting patiently with the next one while it was hung upon the tree. This same rhythm soon seemed to follow Jesse into his life style with the Morrison-Reyes household. He would wake up, deny breakfast, help decorate or another small task/chore, then laze around for some time, claim he had eaten lunch, laze around some more and then eat dinner before showering and bed. This provided as sense of security in his routine, and when school started on Monday he simply fixed it so he would talk with Mr. Reyes during Spanish class (He was no longer aloud to skip it) and then go about his other classes. He was behind in most things considering he missed three years of schooling, though they simply threw him behind a grade and called it good enough.

He learned a lot about his fellow foster and adopted kids while he was going through the first week. Hana regularly had nightmares about her birth mother who had died while trying to get to America. Lúcio didn’t even know his birth parents, and grew up in the system from day one. Jamie however, Jesse grew particularly close too, as he found out he was also transgender. The boy offered all sorts of advice and things Jesse didn’t even know existed. He had started some hormone therapy while he was still on the streets, but he didn’t half the information Jamie had told him about it. Apparently, Reyes and Morrison had been paying for Jamie’s treatments for the better half of a year and they didn’t plan on stopping any time soon. Binders were also another topic brought up, and when Jamie found out he was using bandages to bind the boy nearly threw a fit inside of class (They both had history together as it wasn’t Jamies strongest subject). The following period Jesse was dragged to Reyes classroom who was just as appalled to find out. One doctors trip later he learned that the pain he had been feeling when putting them on was caused by a fractured rib. Jamie freaked out.

With his chest now exposed to the world, doctor’s orders, they left the office and Jesse received several looks as he tried to adjust to the sudden freedom and lack of pain he felt. He was ordered to not bind or even attempt it again for six weeks till the rib had healed properly. Left with no other choice than to follow orders he then spent the remainder of the week, god it was only Wednesday, to staying home and cleaning up the place as an excuse to explore the house fully (Jack knew but didn’t say anything. Humans are curious after all).

Thanksgiving turned out to be relatively quiet after he arrived, as far as Thanksgivings go, with just the six of them eating together happily. Jesse was slowly speaking more and more, his shyness melting away easily with the group as he happily shoveled down the delicious multicultural food. Gabe had made delicious corn salads and salsa with chips for his contribution, Hana absolutely enthusiastic to shovel down the burning kimchi that Jesse could only stand a bite of before he was coughing, Lúcio providing some relief with his sweet rabanada while Jamie and Jack both gobbled down several people’s servings of turkey. Overall Jesse couldn’t remember a time he felt so stuffed and warm when he was wrapped up in a giant quilt with a snoring Hana on his shoulder afterwards. The girl having fallen into a peaceful food coma while Gaberiel and the others were busy fighting over what movie to watch.

Jesse came to find out that they did this often, the family dinner type deal, as he was continually surprised at the warm food which always seemed to be piled onto the table every night. Once school was called back in, Jesse reluctantly got up with Mr. Reyes (who now insisted he be called Gabe) in the morning, avoiding everyone’s questioning glances as he skipped his normal classes (He didn't feel like going to them and Gabriel didn't say anything in protest anymore) and sat in the Spanish room. Conversation flowing so easily between the pair that most of their discussions ended up on the quizzes that Jesse helped grade with Gabe. It took him several days of silent contemplation in the class room however before Jesse finally got the nerve to ask Gabe if he could borrow one of his or Jack’s large hoodies to help make him feel more normal. The bandaging around his torso did little to hide his chest, and with how he looked now it just made Jesse feel weird. The man of course obliged, taking Jesse out the next day and getting him several sets of safe clothing until he was allowed his binder back.

He almost started to have a small panic attack at the thought of Gabe spending so much money on him, but luckily Jamie had gone with them and simply said he’d wear some of the clothing as well so it wasn’t just money on Jesse. He didn’t know why those words helped, but the pain in his chest gradually eased away as he found a sweat shirt he couldn’t help but ask for. ‘BAMF’ printed on the front along with two little pistols in a deep red color that Jesse found absolutely hilarious. Gabe happily obliged in his wish after laughing his ass off as well.

Jack took Jesse back to the doctors about three weeks into his stay. He learned, sadly, that no binders were allowed still, as his ribs themselves were allowing to expand free and heal up properly. While this was a downside he did learn from Jack it just meant he could eat more ice cream and blame it on his ribs, so they both gladly raided the freezers contents and ate half a gallon each of chocolate chip. Jack came to surprise Jesse with a similar taste in movies, as they were the only one’s home currently, pulling out several classic Clint Eastwood movies that had both of them raving about the action qualities immediately. While Jack enjoyed his own action and hero movies, he did love westerns for their heroes and dramatic situations. It made Jesse full out laugh when Jack tried to ask how these situations even arose back then, the teen just shrugging and claimed all of them were bored without TV.

The answer pleased Jack it seemed, as the Indiana native just smiled at Jesse, ruffled his hair, and stole a scoop of his ice cream. With the movie playing, both of their attentions were split between watching and repeating the dialogue both knew by heart, and actually just talking. “So, what do you want for Christmas?” Jack asked as he took a sip from his Coke on the table.

Jesse paused in getting a scoop full of chocolate chip, to look at him. “I thought this was my Christmas gift. Yah know stayin’ with ya’ll?” He asked resuming the motion popping a spoon full of the cold treat into his mouth happily.

“Well in a way yes, but that isn’t it. You still have to ask Santa for something.” Jack teased softly gesturing over to the mile-high stack of papers Hana had filled to the brim with gift ideas for most of the family (mainly herself however).

“Uh… hell I don’t know… didn’t think Santa came to punks like me. Naughty list and all.” Jesse shrugged back simply with his attention back on the TV at this point.

The officer scoffing softly as he looked towards the teen. “Santa and I are very close, and I’ll have you know he has you on his Nice list. So, what does the cowboy want?” He asked again with a small smile playing at his lips.

“Shucks… I don’t know Mr. Morrison. I just usually got dresses and dolls back home….” Jesse mumbled rubbing his chest lightly to ease a small itch.

“Well you aren’t getting dresses, unless you want them for some reason, so think of something else okay? Just make a list or something.” Jack suggested softly, reaching over to the table and picking up a smaller stack of paper off the table Hana had taken up. “Or at least tell us if Hana is close to what you’d like or not.” He gently offered it up to the teen to hesitantly took it.

Jesse nodding slightly to acknowledge him as his eyes quickly scanned over the items listed underneath his name. “All this stuff seems kinda…. Yah know… expensive.” He mumbled before taking an offered pen and scribbling out the items which he deemed too extravagant. “Maybe just like… I don’t know some warm socks or a blanket…?” He suggested handing the list back for Jack to inspect.

Jack sighing softly as he found most of the items not crossed out were under 10 dollars each. “Jesse, you do know both Gabe and I work for a reason, right? We can afford to get you a real gift, and if you don’t pick it Hana will. And I know for a fact she can find more expensive items.” He gently combed a hand through the teens hair, smiling when Jesse leaned slightly to the touch letting out a soft huff.

“I know… still don’t mean I wan’ nothin’ expensive…. Maybe a cowboy hat or somethin’?” He tried once again, Jack seeming to accept his answer now with a nod and his smile growing.

“Cowboy hat it is! Juuust make sure to send your letter in to Santa okay? He gets cranky if you wait till the last minute.” The officer chuckled as he casually stole a bite of Jesse’s ice cream, the teen yelping as he tried to move it away in time. “What??” Jack laughed, feigning innocence as Jesse pouted.

“Fine then… I’m gonna take a nap instead ice cream thief.” Jesse huffed, but still smiled as he put the ice cream tub back into the freezer, and his spoon in the dishwasher. Jack still snickering as he turned his own attention back to the movie at hand. Jesse meanwhile headed into the guest room he’d been calling his own. A large red blanket with a geometric design stitched into it laying at the foot of the bed, one of the favorites of the blankets they had given to him to use in Jesse’s opinion. Changing into a slightly more comfortable pair of pajama pants and sliding underneath the warm covers, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders snuggly.

Sleep found Jesse quickly, taking his mind into a dark and endless abyss where he floated softly in the warm pleasure of the bed around himself. His thoughts gently drifted about, wondering from recent events, thinking of students who populated Gabe’s class room during the day. Eventually his mind wondered how his brothers were doing, before a jab of pain resonated into his chest from the idea. They were fine. Of course, they had to be fine, he was gone after all, something they wished for greatly.

Thoughts slowly swirled down from this point until Jesse was whimpering pathetically in the real world, twitching and shaking despite the blankets on his frame. He had only managed to dose for an hour before he woke up, sucking in a surprised breath. His chest lit up in flames, pulling tightly at the warm sweatshirt he had on till Jesse slipped the material off himself in an attempt to make the tugging stop. He was left in a short sleeve t-shirt he had snatched from Jamie some time ago, along with his sweat pants which he begrudgingly noticed felt wetter than usual. “Fuck….” He hissed out slowly getting up and shuffling into the bathroom. As fate would have it, his period had started. Wonderful, this stupid thing again.

He had thought the hormone treatments had stopping it, but having been off them for a while apparently brought them right back on when the hormones had been flushed out his system. Jesse begrudgingly slapped on a pad and tampon, holding his cramping middle as he shuffled out to change pants and lay down to try and control the tightness in his chest. He was a little shocked however to see his room wasn’t empty when he came back in. Jamie was standing over by his bed, gathering up the sheets from his bed and looking over with a smile when he saw Jesse. “’Ey! Wanna come up in my room?” He offered as he continued to strip the bed down, Jesse now seeing there was a blood spot staining the perfectly white cloth.

“U-Uh… yeah sure…” Jesse nodded looking at his feet as Jamie passed him, dumping the sheets in the laundry room before both teens shuffled into his room.

“Sit down, I gotta find som’tin.” Jamie instructed as he started to search through is mess of a closet, Jesse looking and sitting down on the stuff animal filled bed. It was the weirdest thing one wouldn’t expect when thinking of Jamie, but the boy loved stuffed animals. Whenever the family went anywhere he always got a stuffed animal from there that in some way represented the place they had gone.

When the teen returned, he dumped a clothed pad of some kind on his lap, before plugging the device into the wall. “Heat Pad. Always helps with my cramps.” He explained sitting across from Jesse with a bounce of the bed’s springs. “I thought’d you like it and maybe I could tell you a little bit about my fine specimen collection!” He asked gesturing to the stuffed animals, plucking up a stuffed Pig. “This one is my bestest one! I got it from my best mate back ‘ome, and lovingly named it Roadhog! Cause that was ‘is nickname ya see-“ Jamie began his giant tale of the animals Jesse laughing as he went on to tell a story about how he and this ‘Roadhog’ character had played around, almost blowing up an ant hill.

This is how the evening evolved, with Jesse laughing or leaning on the edge of his seat as Jamie chattered the world away with the seemingly endless tales of his stuffed animals. He found out Jamie had a slight concussion when he was younger causing him to have a slightly harder time forming new memories. So, the stuffed animals were like a touchable journal or memory bank. If he wanted to remember a time better, he could pick one of them up and it helped him remember. Without realizing, as the two teens chatted, eventually even swapping stories, Jesse’s chest unwound itself till he was laughing so hard he was gasping for breath.

Hearing the commotion Jack peaked on the pair, smiling softly as he saw Jamie pretending to be attacked by a stuffed Crocodile while telling the story of the families first zoo trip with Lúcio. Jesse looked perfectly at ease with him, both of them unknowingly leaning slightly on each other for comfort and support. Quietly shutting the door again Morrison walked back downstairs where Hana and Lúcio were playing video games. He dropped a kiss on both of their heads as he passed the couch, sitting down at the dining table and going back to scribbling away at some forms for work.

His phone lit up with a text, a maraca shaking sounding out to alert Gabe had texted him.

‘How did the doctors appointment go? -G’

Jack smiled as he looked down at the message and typed back the reply.

‘Perfect. -J’