#why the fuck did they include the soren soft smile

[sergeant-spoons]

Secret Santa ‘22 (Pt 1)

Surprise, @rebeccapearson​! I’m your Secret Santa! The happiest of holidays to you and your loved ones. I hope you enjoy this fic - it’s the first of three that I will be posting over the next few days. I loved your prompts so much that I simply had to write all three of them! 💕

A Toast to the Idiot

Pairing: Bill Guarnere x Female OC

Word count: 4605

Tone: Friends to lovers, cluelessness, mutual pining, light angst with a happy ending

Prompt: “A girl could smack me on the head and I wouldn’t realize she was into me.” / (x) smacks him on the back of the head / “Ow! What the hell was that for?!”

Summary: She’s doing everything she can and more to make him understand the ways of her heart, but somehow, the message just isn’t getting across. OR The one where Bill Guarnere wouldn’t recognize a girl in love if she kissed him.

Read it here on AO3!

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"The hell are you on about, Joe? 'Soft hands'. The fuck does that even mean?"

"It means I like a girl with soft hands!" Joe Toye throws up his own not-so-soft hands. "So sue me, Johnny. Jesus."

Dianne Soren quirks an amusedly confused brow as she comes around the side of her bunk, putting her hands on her hips.

"The hell did I miss? And why do y'all always end up sittin' on my bed?"

"Hi, Sarge," Joe and Johnny Martin chorus.

"Hi, boys." Dianne turns to their third companion. "Well? Bill? You got an explanation for me?"

"Your bed's just the comfiest, Di," he says in that usual charming manner of his. "Smells the best, too."

Dianne laughs. "Fair 'nuff. Now scoot."

She pushes lightly at Bill's shoulder until he makes room for her, and as she sits down with them, he looks her up and down.

"What?"

"Gimme your hands."

Dianne tries half-heartedly to avoid Bill's grabbing, quirking a skeptical brow.

"Are you tryin' to set me up with Joe? Again?"

"Gimme," he whines, ignoring her question, then seizes her hands and grins in triumph. "See! Soft hands, just like I thought."

Dianne (whose cheeks are a little warmer than before) snatches her fingers away, laughing.

"You are tryin' to set me up! Bill, for the tenth time, he ain't my type. No offense, Joe."

Joe chuckles, low and gravelly, and pokes Bill in the arm.

"None taken. I've got a girl back home, Bill, 'member?"

"Yeah, yeah-" Bill waves him off. "-but hey, what is your type, Di?"

All three of Bill's friends are caught off guard by his query—most likely because the answer is considered common knowledge—and when Dianne blinks at Bill in disbelief, she's not the only one. Joe and Johnny look at each other, then at Bill, who still seems blissfully unaware. Dianne glances him up and down, then looks away, musing at the spiderweb clinging to the corner of the ceiling.

"Hell, Bill, I dunno."

"C'mon, give it a try," he goads. "For me?"

"Yeah," Johnny snickers, "for him."

Without looking, Dianne swings her pillow and smacks him square in the mouth. He splutters and complains but she ignores him, trying not to smirk at Joe's suppressed laughter.

"Alright," she concedes to Bill. "Well, I do like a good smile."

He flashes his teeth at her, and she almost falters over her next words.

"He's gotta have a nice, strong jaw."

Bill's smile grows, and she thinks he might be catching on.

"Ain't nothin' sexier than two big, strong arms to hold me with," she adds, daring to squeeze his bicep, and when he runs his tongue over his upper teeth, her breath catches.

"Very sexy," he agrees.

"And-" She smirks, reaching over to ruffle his hair as she reminds herself how to breathe. "-he's gotta be shorter than me."

Joe (who is taller than Dianne) starts laughing, Johnny (who is shorter) rolls his eyes, and Bill simply chuckles and tugs at one of Dianne's curls.

"Half the Company's shorter than you, Di."

"Shorter than me when I'm not in heels," she amends, and Bill grins.

"Make that a quarter o' the Company."

"Including you," Johnny points out, only to get another mouthful of pillow and be nearly knocked off the bed. "You seein' this?" he splutters to Joe. "The hell'd I ever do to her?"

"Exist," Dianne teases, sticking her tongue out at him, and her smile grows when Bill's loud laugh rings out freely.

"That's my girl." He tugs her against his side. "So? Anything else you like in a fella?"

"Well, I'd like to be called his girl, for one," she offers, bracing herself, but Bill doesn't even bat an eye.

"'Course, you would!" he chuckles. "And he'd better call you his girl, or he ain't treatin' you right."

"And he'd better show me off on his arm whenever we go out."

"Who wouldn't?"

Bill's grin warps into a frown when he sees her visibly deflate. He tickles her side and she squirms, a laugh bubbling up past her lips.

"What? What?" he asks, still tickling her. "Somethin' else you wanna say?"

"Maybe she's embarrassed about it," Johnny teases with a smirk, and this time, Joe's the one to smack him with the pillow. "Oh, for fuck's sake-"

"I ain't embarrassed," Dianne refutes. "Just a little sad he don't get it."

"Who don't get it?" Bill quirks his brow amusedly. "Who's makin' ya sad, sweetheart?" He points over his shoulder at Johnny. "Is it this idiot? Want me to beat him up for ya?"

"Nah, Bill," she laughs, giving up the game now that she's sure she won't win it, "don't try to beat up Johnny."

"Try?" he scoffs as she gets up, untwisting one of her suspenders where it has tangled over her shoulder. "I could put this fool down in two seconds flat."

"You keep tellin' yourself that, sugar."

Johnny grins, proud of Dianne's endorsement, and Bill jumps to his feet, following her away from the bed.

"Sweetheart, that was mean," he scolds her, but when she laughs, he forgets he's supposed to be put off. "Where the hell are you goin'?"

"To try and find a broom," she says, grabbing her jacket off the bedpost of her bunk. "You think they've got one in the mess hall?"

"Prob'ly. What for?"

Dianne points distractedly at the spiderweb right above Bill's head, but then Bill jumps a full foot back and she pauses, turning to him.

"Are you...?"

"Don't say it," he grumbles, pinkening slightly as he backs away from the corner.

"I can't believe it," she says, the corners of her mouth tugging up.

"Di, don't."

"Wild Bill's afraid of spiders."

He groans, and though she tries not to laugh, she fails.

"I told ya not to," he scolds. "I warned ya!"

"Bill-" Dianne giggles, then gasps when Bill steals her cap right off her head and dances away. "Bill!"

"Say I'm not afraid of spiders!" He doesn't seem to realize why she's flustered, and she isn't sure if she's glad or disappointed. "Say it!"

"Alright, alright, you're not afraid of spiders!" she gasps, and when he returns her cap, she makes sure to jump out of his reach before she holds up the fingers she's crossed behind her back.

"Oh, you little shit-"

Dianne dashes out the door, laughing, and Bill runs after her. He catches her a short way down the road and wraps his arms around her torso, picking her up and spinning her around. She shrieks a laugh and when he puts her down, chuckling close to her ear, she spins around and pushes at his chest. Their eyes meet. In the movies, this would be the moment where Bill leaned in and kissed her, and her foot would pop up as she wrapped her arms around his neck. But this is real life, and in real life, Bill is 100% committed to her as a friend. Before she can do a damn thing other than breathe, he grabs her hand, twirls her under his arm, and starts walking away while she's still recovering—her dizziness is doubled, less so by the spin than by how close she'd gotten to him.

"Idiot," she mumbles under her breath, smoothing her hands over the lower half of her face, just as Bill turns over his shoulder, bearing a cheeky smirk.

"C'mon, sweetheart, what're ya waitin' for?"

"You to wise up," she teases, a little disgruntled, but he just looks confused, and she reminds herself he doesn't mean anything by his cluelessness.

"Huh?"

"I'm comin', I'm comin'."

He doesn't seem to think anything of her comment on wising up, and as they turn around the bend, passing the four storage sheds that mark the end of the residential part of the base, she shrugs more comfortably into her jacket and pokes her friend's arm.

"Alright, well, you asked me, so now I've got to ask you," she says once she's got his attention. "What's your type, Bill?"

"Any girl that likes me," he replies, puffing out his chest, and Dianne snickers.

"Oh, yeah? You got yourself any takers yet?"

"A couple-"

"Oh?"

"-dozen."

"Ohhh." Dianne nods as if she believes him. "Uh-huh. I could see that."

He wrinkles his nose up at her and pushes her, but that doesn't stop her laughter, and he doesn't seem to really mind.

"Ya shoulda seen the girls back in Philly," he brags, hooking his arm around hers. "They were all over me."

"I bet they were, hot shot."

He grins. "You wanna know a secret, sweetheart? Just 'cause I trust ya so much?"

"Always."

He leans over, and as he whispers, his breath tickles her ear and sends a shiver up her spine.

"I had to get my buddies to ask 'em if they liked me or not."

Dianne laughs, genuinely surprised. "You're foolin' with me."

"Am not." He shrugs, a little bashful but still grinning.  "A girl could smack me on the head and I wouldn’t realize she was into me."

Dianne studies him for a moment, then reaches up and smacks him on the back of the head.

“Ow!" He jumps away from her, rubbing the spot where she smacked him as he pouts at her. "What the hell was that for?!”

Though Dianne wants to sigh, she laughs instead.

"Just testin' ya." Before he can think about it any harder, she grabs his arm and tugs him toward the steps to the mess hall. "Now c'mon, let's go get that broom."

A few days later, Dianne is back in the mess hall for lunch. She's got George Luz on one side, Joe Liebgott on the other, and Frank Perconte straight ahead. It's a rowdy group, but she likes it that way (and she'd like it even better if Bill was here, too). Then Liebgott gets up to have a row with some clumsy fool from Dog Company who's made a mess on the floor behind him, and Dianne, uninterested in a fight, turns to Luz only to find him gone and Donald Hoobler in his place.

"'Afternoon, Hoobs," Dianne says without batting an eye. She's used to the quick comings and goings around here. It's the Airborne way.

"Sergeant." Hoobler tips his cap at her, straddling the bench. "Mind if I sit here?"

Dianne looks up and tilts her head, clueing him in on the rising argument behind her, and he laughs.

"Point taken." He flashes her a smile as he settles in. "How's your day been, Sarge?"

"Couldn't be better. Sun came up in the mornin' and we've got Sobel down for the count with that glorious cold."

Hoobler kisses his fingers and raises them toward the heavens.

"Amen to that." He grins, then leans toward her. "You know, I've been hearin' rumors..."

"I can see 'em buzzin' around your ears like flies," Dianne retorts, and Hoobler sucks in a breath through his teeth, humbled.

"Ouch. I never met a woman with a sharper tongue."

Dianne chuckles, patting him on the shoulder, and he relaxes.

"So? What're these rumors about?"

"You and somebody special." The corner of Hoobler's mouth turns up. "Just wanted to... corroborate the story, y'know?"

"Yeah, sure." Dianne rolls her eyes. "I swear, you boys gossip more than any woman on this fine green earth."

"I'd believe it," he laughs. "So?"

"Brazen as you might be," she sighs, "I'll tell you."

He leans over and she whispers the name in his ear, and when he straightens back up, he's grinning.

"Jumping Jack Christ, I knew it!"

"You knew it? Just you?"

"Me and half the Company," he admits what she's long suspected, then thinks for a moment. "Actually more like three-quarters, if you include the officers."

Dianne makes a face. "Lord have mercy, that's pathetic."

"What, that everybody and their mother knows, but the fortunate fella himself doesn't?"

She waves her fork his way, sipping at her water.

"You said it, Hoobs, not me."

"Maybe you're just not... being obvious enough?" Hoobler shrugged. "Other than flat-out telling him, I mean."

"I wish you were right," she chuckles mildly. "Trust me, it don't matter what I say. Watch this."

Dianne leans back on the bench, sticks her pinkie fingers in the corners of her mouth, and whistles sharply. Bill looks up and sees her (as do a dozen others in the vicinity) and flashes her a grin. She grins right back.

"Lookin' good, hot stuff!"

His smile spreads from ear to ear, and he winks at her, then goes back to chatting with his buddies. Dianne turns back to Hoobler only to start laughing mid-shrug.

"Hoobs, you're gaping like a salmon."

She curves her hands and knocks her fingers together, sticking out her chin and moving her bottom lip up and down to imitate the fish. Hoobler pushes half-heartedly at her arm and her teasing devolves into laughter.

"Oh, shut up." He shakes his head. "Jeez, he's clueless."

"Ain't that the truth." She shrugs again. "At this point, I dunno what I'm even s'posed to do."

"Keep trying, I guess." Hoobler scrunches up his face. "Tough luck, Sarge."

"Yeah."

Dianne sighs and looks over at Bill. One of his buddies points her out and he flashes her a broad, charming, strictly-friendly grin.

"Tough luck, indeed."

A few cycles of the sun later, it's Saturday night, and every single Easy man (and woman) is out on the town, even the ones who don't usually drink. They're shipping out on Monday, either north or west, and then to God knows what shore, so they're partying it up while they still can. With a little liquid courage, Dianne decides to give it one last try. She saunters over to the darts board where Bill is clearly losing against the combined team of George Luz and Johnny Martin.

"Hey, y'all."

"Hey, Sarge," Luz and Johnny chorus, and Bill turns over his shoulder with a grin.

"Di!" He grabs her arm and tugs her over. "Fellas, prepare for your downfall."

Di laughs, slinging her arm over Bill's shoulder and leaning on him slightly. "Really, boys, two against one? Ain't you ever heard of a little thing called fairness?"

"No, ma'am," Luz replies with a cheeky grin, passing her a dart. "So? Show us what you got!"

Dianne, who played competitive darts at a renovated speakeasy during her first two years at college (the subsequent two have been delayed by the war), easily takes the win over Luz and Johnny. Blowing on her nails before pretending to buff them out on her shoulder, she gloats for a few seconds as they beg for another match. She's quick to give in, her ego boosted just a little when her opponents insist on taking several minutes to construct a game plan in order to beat her. While they're still debating, Bill leaves to fetch her another drink, proclaiming Dianne his champion; as soon as he's gone, she pulls Luz and Johnny aside and ropes them into her plan. They're good sports and agree, and when Bill returns, they pretend they've decided against challenging Dianne after all. Bill celebrates a bit too soon, however, and Luz and Johnny quickly clamor for him to play Dianne one-on-one. He turns to her with a gleam in his eye that makes her stomach flip and flicks his eyebrows until she laughs and agrees.

"Oh, you're goin' down, sweetheart."

"Sure," she scoffs, handing him the dart for the first throw. "Keep talkin' like that, a girl might think you're scared o' little old me."

"What're we bettin' on? Cigarettes? Chocolate? Cash?" He wiggles his eyebrows. "A kiss?"

Dianne chokes on her beer and Bill rubs her back as she coughs through it.

"I was only kiddin'. You want some water, honey?"

She shakes her head, her face still bowed so he won't see her embarrassment, and when Bill brings his hand to her forehead, his chuckling dies away.

"Shit, you're runnin' hot." He grabs Luz's arm. "Get the lady some water, yeah?"

He nods and goes off with Johnny close behind. Dianne has already recovered (for the most part), and tries to call off their mission but goes unheard. She sighs and turns toward Bill, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.

"Sorry," she says, "breathed in right when I shouldn't have."

"Happens to the best of us," he says with a shrug, a hint of his teasing smile returning. "You still up for that game? Or did that little cough put ya outta commission?"

"Oh-ho, you did not," she laughs, pushing him toward the darts board. "I'm gonna whoop your Philly ass."

Luz comes back with the water, and Dianne, once revived, does indeed whoop Bill's Philly ass, coming away with a winning streak of four-to-none. As soon as Bill knows he's lost, he comes back at her with such moving pleas for another match that she can't find it in her heart to turn him down. When he turns to her the fifth time, she presses her hand to his mouth to silence him.

"No, sugar," she laughs. "You go on and take your losses like a man."

He pouts at her, and when that doesn't work, he slumps and starts digging through his pockets.

"Alright, what do I owe ya?"

"Hmm." Dianne pretends to consider although the answer's already on the tip of her tongue. "Well, you're the one who put a kiss on the table..."

"Four," he agrees, defying her expectations, his grin halfway to a smirk. "I lost four times, didn't I?"

Dianne can't help a slight chuckle. "You sure did."

She's tense and they can both tell, but then he plants a big kiss on her cheek and she relaxes, swatting his shoulder.

"Aww, c'mon, Bill, that ain't- mmph!"

He's kissed her for real this time, right on the lips, and though it's more of a peck than anything, it shuts her right up. As she blinks at him, reeling, Bill grins.

"Better?"

Before she's got the wits to answer, he's leaning in for another smooch, and she melts. The second kiss is nice but too short, and when Dianne chases his lips as he pulls away, Bill seems to get the hint. The third kiss is the real thing, the one that makes Dianne's knees go weak. He cups her face in his big, warm hands and tilts his head just a little to kiss her properly. She wraps her arms around his neck and he drops his hands to her waist. She kind of wants to put her foot up behind her the way they do in the movies, the way she's sort of always dreamed about doing with him—but then he leans back and she's lost the chance.

"Whoo!" he whoops, tossing his head back, and though he's holding her like a gentleman, he's grinning like a maniac. "Shit, sweetheart, I think you knocked the breath outta me."

Dianne giggles and almost says something about how much she likes him, but he's already turning away to talk to Johnny, and the words die on her lips. Though he tugs her snugly against his side, she can't help but feel like she's missed something. Or, more likely, he's missed something—yet again.

"I'm gonna get another drink," she says, and though she doesn't really expect Bill to hear her, he turns at once.

"You sure?"

"I've only had two."

"Right, right." He laughs. "Way you kissed me made me think it was more." He squeezes her side and lets her go, unaware of just how finely he's wounded her. "Just lookin' out for ya, sweetheart."

"As always," she agrees, but her heart isn't in it.

Dianne slips away to the bar and is lucky enough to find an empty seat beside Joe Toye. He's just the kind of friend she needs right now. He might tease her a bit, but he'll be more sympathetic than the rest, and seeing as she's more than ready to get wasted after that heart-shredding failure, he's also the best choice to walk her home—she's pretty sure it would take a whole keg to get him drunk.

"Holy shit," is the first thing he says to her when she sits down, and though she grimaces at first, he then proceeds to slide her a full, frothing beer and she's quick to forgive.

"'Evenin', Joe."

"And a helluva-n evening, it is." He grins. "So you finally did it, huh?"

"Uh, yeah, about that-"

"Took you long enough!"

"-he didn't mean it."

"What?" Joe's smile drops. "You can't be serious."

Dianne takes a long dredge, then clears her throat and leans toward her friend.

"He still. Doesn't. Get it."

"Mary, Mother of Christ." Joe runs his hand over his face. "Sorry, Sarge, but I'm starting to think this is a lost cause."

"I'll say." Dianne scoffs into her beer. "It was a lost cause when this whole thing started."

Joe half-laughs and half-sighs as if he still can't believe it.

"It's been months!"

"You're tellin' me?" Dianne sets her dwindling beer on the countertop and rolls her shoulders back gracelessly. "For a while, I thought he just might be tryin' not to hurt my feelings, but after that-" The kisses, she means. "-he's got me convinced that he's honest-to-God clueless."

"Hey-" Joe nudges her shoulder with his own. "-you're not a quitter, Dianne. Don't you start now."

"Uh-huh."

"Hey, I mean it."

They sit in silence for a moment, passing on the peanuts the bartender tries to slide their way.

"So." Joe smoothes his hand over a nub in the countertop, looking at Dianne with a worry he disguises well. "What are you gonna do?"

"I dunno." She shrugs, fighting against the sudden urge to burst into delirious giggles. "Call him stupid to his face?"

"Hell, yeah," advises a familiar voice, sidling up to them at the bar. "Somebody's bein' stupid, call 'im out on it."

Dianne and Joe share a confused look, but Bill just waves and asks, "So who's the idiot?"

As Joe bursts out laughing, Dianne groans, leaning back so far on her stool that she nearly topples over. Bill's quick enough to right her, and she grabs her beer, raising it above her head.

"A toast to the idiot," she declares, looking right at Bill, "who wouldn't recognize a girl in love if she kissed him."

Dianne turns back to Joe as she downs the rest of her drink, shaking her head, and misses the way Bill's entire expression changes with the weight of realization.

"See y'all 'round."

Dianne slips off the stool and makes for the door. Behind her, Joe's laughter peters out as he realizes Bill is doing nothing but staring after Dianne with his mouth wide open.

"Oh, for Chrissakes-"

He grabs Bill by the shoulders and manhandles him off the stool.

"-go after her, you idiot!"

"I'm the idiot," Bill says almost reverentially, then finally lurches into motion. He takes off after Dianne, but she's more than halfway across the room, and it's going to take him some time to catch up with her. He curses under his breath, feeling quite possibly the dumbest he's ever felt. Dianne, meanwhile, is pressing on blindly. She can feel the sting of rising tears, and the way her throat closes up makes it hard for her to pardon her way through the crowd. She nearly trips over the chair acting as a coat rack by the door and groans to realize her jacket is somewhere in this pile of some fifty identical ones. Fortunately, the little red bead she sewed on her nametag in the gap between the line and the curve of the 'D' catches the light as she moves, and after that, she retrieves her jacket with ease. Behind her, the dancing and drinking go on; beneath her feet, the world still spins. She pushes open the door with a heavy sigh, and the brisk, friendly air of late August soothes her a bit. She doesn't look back as she leaves, but if she had, she might have seen Bill pushing through the crowd, trying to get to her, calling her name but going unheard in the general bedlam.

Back at the bar, Joe looks between him and her, chuckling as he sips at his beer. Now that Bill's finally come to his senses, Joe knows nothing short of the ending of the world can stop him from catching up to Dianne.

"Di! Wait, Di!"

Bill has skipped the pile of jackets and come flying out the door, nearly tripping down the steps in his haste. Dianne slows, then stops, and he can see how she's sneakily trying to scrub her face with her sleeve, bowing her head as to hide her embarrassment. He's not sure he could express just how deeply sorry he is for making her feel that way—and for God knows how long—even if she asked him to. His gait slows as doubt seeps into his mind. Has he wounded her enough to lose her heart even before he knew he had it? But then she turns around, and nothing seems to matter anymore except letting her know he's never going to be the idiot again. She's stopped right in the light cast by one of the bar windows, and God, she looks pretty. Her hair is a little messy like she's been messing with it anxiously and her eyes are a little wet from the alcohol and the disappointment, and he loves her so much, it hurts.

"Di, I've never been that fuckin' stupid in my whole goddamn life."

Dianne does a double-take. This is not at all what she was expecting to hear.

"What?"

"You know I'm not good at sorry's," he laments, "but Di, I am so goddamn fuckin' sorry- You gotta believe me, sweetheart-"

Frowning, she squints at him, then rubs her eyes. This is too abrupt—she can't believe it even if she wanted to.

"Great," she sighs, "now I'm seein' things."

Bill sucks in a breath. He's a man who likes to use his words, but right now, words aren't enough. So when he runs up to her, grabs her arms to hold her still, and kisses her, he doesn't say a word. She jumps back, her eyes widening, and belatedly, she gasps.

"Holy hell, it's actually you."

"It's me," he vows, "it's me, Di. And it's always gonna be me."

"You mean it?" she asks, searching his expression, and before he's even finished guaranteeing it, she grabs his face and kisses him, hard.

"Goddamn," he sighs, grinning like a fool. "You know how hard it was for me to stop kissin' you after that third time?"

Dianne pulls one of his own moves and pouts at him. "Seemed to me like it was awful easy."

"God, sweetheart," he groans, "it couldn't've been harder."

"Tell me more."

"Can't believe it took me this goddamn long to wise up," he grumbles as he holds her close, peeved at himself. "Could'a been doin' this a whole lot longer."

He kisses her again, and when she giggles against his lips, he knows he's a goner.

"You gonna take me on a date tomorrow?" she asks, playing with his tie as she leans into him.

"'Course, I am," he promises, wrapping his hand around hers. "Expect flowers. I'm gonna make it a real, proper date."

Dianne beams and something in Bill's heart clicks into place.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah."

He grins, nuzzling a kiss against her cheek.

"Somethin' tells me we're long overdue."

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[aaravhoes]

Sorvus hcs!!

- they don’t spoon, they cuddle each other while just being a mess of tangled limbs and arms. They just drop on top of each other and find any comfortable sleeping position. They are not picky about it. Sometimes Soren likes to be held and Corvus happily does that without hesitation. He just wants to give as much as possible to soren.

- in the morning they both almost wake up at the same time and soren is usually the type of guy who’d be giving corvus a morning kiss. corvus tells these words to soren in between the kiss often, “you have bad morning breath... but I am loving it.”

- soren usually has greasy pizza or Chinese takeout from the night before as their breakfast and Corvus sometimes wakes up early to make pancakes for them but most of the days he just spends his mornings feeling the warmth of soren’s legs intertwining with his and shrugging at every stupid idea soren proposes to him, occasionally kissing soren’a forehead or jaw.

- corvus on any random morning : hey sor, wanna see me stuff my mouth with marshmallows and say “i love you” after every marshmallow?

soren : YES I WILL RECORD IT.

- soren is kind of competitive in everything and he competes with corvus a lot about dumb shit. Soren just wants to be the best and needs to win something/compete in something to make himself feel validated. So he competes with corvus about how far they can throw a disk or how many pizza slices they could eat in thirty minutes etc. sometimes corvus loses on purpose because he likes to see soren so happy and that’s all that matters to him.

- corvus is now used to wearing socks in the shower just because soren does it too and somehow brainwashed corvus into believing that if we wear socks in the shower, we are washing our socks at the same time as we shower and hence saving water.

- soren likes to do dumb dance moves and in public corvus usually refrains himself from joining soren for a typical millennial dance step but when they’re home, they both just break it down together.

- they play the sims 4 together and decide to name their child uzuzwevwevwe and laugh about it while discussing it in public. They both just like to be big dumbs and big softs at the same time. But above all they love and care for each other more than anything else in the world.

[josiecarioca]

Waiting (one-shot)

Requested by @artisticreptilequeen and @latitsoso

Summary: Soren Snape has chosen a lonely path for himself that not even his closest friend can help him walk. 

(Soren Snape x Audrey Blake, characters mentioned: Severus Snape,Evelyn Black and Eloise Snape)

Also available on Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010311

Tagging:  @snapescapades  @mafagafobebum  @marvelschriss @codename-thedoctor @zealouspickleeggdragon @green-oasis @drawnfromthedead @snapescapadesafterdark @serosvit @snapecentric @hayalee8 @oliverlandomens @sleepysnapesnake @lily-themadqueen-andpinky @paracosim @the-witches-son @aikersen @violet-knox @viper-official @be-zoar @thepomegranatejuice @alwyssnpe @siriuslysircadogan @hbprincealice

     …

“Soren, are you alive?”

Soren opened his eyes and looked around, searching for that familiar voice. He didn't know the place around him. It looked nice enough, though. A small livingroom, with teal colored walls covered in classic movie posters and a moon themed tapestry hanging next to a tall bookcase, loads of colorful cushions and, in front of him, a square coffe table with food and cooking themed hardcovers and a notebook filled with a round and small handwritting he knew all too well. He found himself laying on a soft white couch, “Golden Girls” was playning on the TV in front of him.

He sat up, feeling as if the room was moving around him like a ship in open sea. His clothes were sticking to him, tight and uncomfortable and his mouth was so dry he felt a bitter taste in his tongue. He didn´t remember drinking any water since right after curtain call.

Soren heard the sound of something frying, before the smell hit him. His stomach growled. He couldn't remember when he had last eaten anything that day.

“You´re getting glitter all over my couch.” that voice...Soren shook his head, suddenly angry at himself. How had he ended up here of all places? Idiot!

“Audrey, I...” he called out but his head felt like it just about split in two when he raised his voice. “I mean...how did I...”

“Here...” the voice approached. He looked up and there she was. Audrey, in a dusty pink turtleneck wool dress that hugged her plump figure, black leggings and boots, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, with thick bangs framing her roud, dollish face. She looked like she was either going to a date or  coming back home from one when he, at least he assumed, crashed-landed at her door.

She held a plate in front of his face and it smelled something like heaven is supposed to smell.

“This is what you eat when you're flat on your arse drunk, if I recall correctly. Rashers, eggs benedict and your mother's cheddar, chive and potato pancakes. Right?”

“You...know how to make mam´s pancakes? ” he smiled, hoping foolishly that small talk would delay the earfull he was about to get. “She never gave anybody this recipe. Not even my cousins.”

“I lived with your parents for a whole year remember? I've seen auntie Lyn make this more times than I can count.”

Even though he felt like somebody had taken an axe to his skull and split it clean in two, Soren had to smile.

“Thank you. You didn't have to.”

“I sort of did have to, though” she let out, sounding tired “I found you laying on my doorstep, looking healf dead. Trust me, I was tempted to just walk around you and leave you there, but then what would I say next time I visit your parents? Besides, my landlord and neighbours wouldn't be too happy. Here, you´re going to need this. You must be dehydrated.”

She put a gallon of water on the table in fronto of him. Soren shugged nearly half of it before he could even begin to think about eating.

“Now, pray tell...what has gotten into you?” she crossed her arms and stood before him, looking far taller than her 5 feet, maybe 5'3 including the boots. Soren looked at her, pleased to notice she had put on weight. She looked like her normal self again, he thought. Last time he'd seen her she looked gaunt, almost.

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? Is it a normal occurence for you to prance about town drunk off you mind and pass out in front of people´s doors dressed like Beetlejuice and Dr. Frank'n'Furter's lovechild?”

“Oh, this!” Soren looked down at himself, finally remembering...

The effin' costume. Yeah, she was right. Her neighbours wouldn't be none too pleased to see a 6´2  man in full make-up wearing a leather corset-garter combo with stockings and high heels under a stripped trenchcoat passed out drunk in the hallway.

“I was...working.”

“Working? Is this an honest-to-God opera costume, or the Ministry for Magic had you go undercover in a fetish brothel?”

“Costume. The Ministry doesn´t usually have me dress up nice and sexy  when they want to get me fucked. Hardly pay me as well as they should for it either.”

“What opera are you in this time around?”

“Orphée aux enfers...Our director decided to give the  Kosky version a run for its money, so of course genderfuck drag was the way to go. Because why the fuck not? ”

“We're just going to pretend like you didn't love the idea...” she smirked. That was good...he hoped.

“Well, yeah, we decided to have a few drinks after the performance, and Henri thought it would be hilarious to just go out partying in full costume.”

“Who?”

“Henri Fournier...he played Orpheus”

“Of course...” Audrey, sighed, no longer amused.

“He's a riot, you should meet him.” Stop digging, Soren. She´s already mad at you, no need to act like a bufoon.

“And you should shower and change.”

“I´m afraid I don't have anything to change into...Unless, what's his name, your...”

“Ethan, his name is Ethan.”

“Yeah, him, unless he doesn´t mind me borrowing his things...”

“I´ll see if he left something here...”

“Left...I thought you two were...”

“He moved out.”

“When was that? Last we talked you we...”

“Come on, finish eating go have a shower, I'll find something for you to wear.”

“Hey, Shortcake, I...” He let out without even thinking. It had been so long since he last called her that, years maybe, but somehow it just poured from his lips.

“Don't...call me that.”

“I'm sorry...I really am. About this whole thing as well, I really don't know how I ended up at your door, I would never...”

“You don't have to apologize. Just eat, take your shower and...” she sighed “...we´ll see.”

…

Soren was tripping over himself so badly Audrey had half a mind to offer help. But eventually he got himself to the bathroom. She glued her ear to the door, half expecting to hear him collapse inside. The sound of the water running reassured her enough to step away and try to find something for him to wear, hoping Ethan had forgotten at least a pair of shorts or something.

Typical Soren to put her in this situation without even thinking. He never did think, did he?  Just did whatever he wanted to do and everything else be damned. Nevermind that his parents were constantly worried sick about him, that his sister had to keep calling him to remind him he had a family and he should go see them sometime. Audrey was almost sure neither his father nor his mother knew what he was up to.

That he was spying for the. ministry.

His father would never allow it.

Audrey had been only a spectator, entirely foreign to their world of magic and wars no one of her kind was supposed to know, but she knew well enough, apparently even better than Soren, that it was a disastrous idea for the son of Severus Snape to be a spy. To collect inteligence about the very same criminals who still had a reward out for his father's head. Soren was born with a target on his back. Even as a child, Death Eaters had tried to get to him, the same with his sister, Eloise. And why wouldn't they? What better revenge on the man who brought down their leader than to harm his children? Audrey knew from hearing whispers and bits and pieces of conversations when she had lived with his parents in Glencoe, right after deciding to go no contact with her mother. She knew from what Eloise told her, in a vain, desperate attempt to get her to help knock some sense into her brother.

But Audrey also knew there was nobody on earth who could keep Soren from doing what he wanted. Sometimes she was tempted to tell Severus and Evelyn what he was doing behind their back. If they knew...They thought Soren was travelling around the world singing. A successful baritone, touring Salzburg, Paris, New York, Lord knew where else. Surely that shouldn´t prevent him from coming home now and then, however...But he would go months without showing up, so his parents, maybe, just thought that if he didn´t show up for Christmas or Easter it was because he was somewhere in a nightclub or a bar, partying. And sometimes that was true, but not always. At times, she wondered how and when they would find out, and hoped it wasn´t through some tragedy.

But...sometimes she also wondered if they didn't already know. If they were just waiting for him to finally be honest with them. Maybe neither Severus nor Evelyn could bring themselves to believe Soren would do that to them, so they acted like they didn't suspect, when in reality, they knew. Maybe they were just hoping he'd show himself worthy of their trust. Just waiting for him to come around.

So Audrey said nothing. It wasn't her place to, after all. If Eloise hadn´t, then she certainly had no right.

She finally found something. And old t-shirt and some pajama pants. Good thing Ethan was tall, she thought. This would do for Soren to at least make it back home, or wherever he was staying in London. Come to think of it...She shook her head and left the clothes on the bed where he could find once he was done showering.

“Soren?”  She called once the water stopped running and she could hear him in her bedroom.

“Yeah?” he sounded a bit more sober.

“I'll call your sister, do you have her girlfriend's number? Maybe they can pick you up.”

Soren didn't answer answer immediately. Instead he took his time to get dressed and came back to the livingroom, sat on the couch and took another swig of water from the bottle.

“So, should I call her?”

“I would literally rather you hand me over to a dementor.”

“Maybe if I knew how. Eloise is my next best choice.”

“Eloise will never let me hear the end of it.”

“She wouldn'r be wrong, now would she?”

He didn't answer. He just made that face. That face he put on when he knew he was wrong, when he knew he had no good excuse. The corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards in an odd, clumsy smile, and his nostril flared slightly as he breathed out, then he looked away. Thinking of the next joke, of the charming comment that would deflect questioning, the next change of subject.  Had been that way since he was a boy. Soren always knew when to leave an argument well enough alone. This way he wouldn't have to admit he was wrong.

“As soon as my head doesn´t feel like the the 1812 overture is playing on surround sound inside my skull, I can see myself out.” she shrugged with that devil may care grin that could get him whatever he wanted.

Audrey sighed. She didn´t have the energy to argue, And true to be told, if she hadn't found him passed out drunk at her door after nearly a year of no contact whatsoever, she would be happy he was there. Wasn´t this what they used to do, back when things were different? Staying up at night, huddled up on the couch, watching old TV programmes reruns till the wee hours of the night? She missed that. She missed having Soren around, she missed his stupid jokes, his impromptu performances. She missed him singing “Largo al factotum” early in the morning as he shaved, his voice filling her bathroom till the upstairs neighbours complained.

But she didn´t miss what came with it. She didn´t miss the disappearances, the weeks and months without a single phone call, the excuses, the worry, the panic...

“You already ruined my couch with all that sodding makeup” she sighed, sitting next to him “Might as well spend the night. But you´ll have to be out before noon. I´m working the lunch shift this week.”

“How's that going? Mam told me you made it to sous-chef.”

“Yeah, which sounds impressive until you realize it just means I'm the first in line to be verbally abused when Bastianinni wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“I worked with a Bastianinni once...It was for the best sharp knives are not part of our line of work, or the whole cast would have used him for target practice, down to the children's choir. When a tenor decides to be a diva, oof...”

“So, you´ve been talking to your mother?”

“Yeah, I called her and dad last week from Salzburg...to apologize for not showing up for Christmas again. She told me you were there.”

“I was. I assume that's how you got my address...”

“I...I mean...is not like she” Soren stammered like a little boy caught with his hand in the biscuit tin.

“Did you really think your mother would give you my address if I didn't tell her it was ok?” Audrey smiled “I´m just surprised you asked.”

“Why wouldn't I ask?”

“You tell me...For the past four years I´ve seen more of your parents and your sister than I´ve seen you. And you don't call anybody, just go off for months on end...”

“You know why that is...”

“I do. That´s why I don't wait for you anymore. It's pointless. But then when I give up waiting, you decide to show up.”

“Is not like I planned to just...”

“You never do.”

“Audrey, I...”

“I´ll get you a pillow and some covers, it's getting late.” She couldn't let him speak. If he started he'd take her in again. And before she knew it, she would be waiting again...for a phone call, a message, waiting for that moment she'd finally be fully a part of his world. A moment that would never come, no matter how long she waited. Not for her and not for anybody else. Soren had chosen a rocky path that only fit the steps of one person: himself. She couldn´t walk with him, and it would be fooolish to wait for him to come back any time soon.

“You said you were working lunch shift tomorrow.” the sweetness on his voice reached her as she got up from the couch, disarming. “Can´t you stay a little while longer?”

[foxie-roxie]

why rayllum is a MASTERPIECE part 3

*RUBS MY CLAWS TOGETHER* IT IS SEASON 3 TIME BITCHES AND H O L Y S H I T I LOVE THIS SEASON SO MUCH

i even rewatched it for this!

this time i’ll try to have SOME order, and go by episode. this will however still include unintelligible screaming

1. DAMN THESE FUCKERS BE PINING MORE THAN A PINE TREE FOREST!

first off, affectionate eye rolling, nose boop, and head bonk is the best thing.

second, IF SOMEONE SAYS THAT DURING WHEN CALLUM WAS HELPING RAYLA PUT ON HIS SCARF AND THEY J STARED AT EACHOTHER FOR A BIT BEFORE RAYLA TURNED AWAY THAT HE WAS N O T LOST IN HER EYES? they’re wrong. this is fact now.

third, their teamwork and decision making is excellent. they agree to try and sneak past sol regem, and when that fails try talking to him and then decide to simply trick his senses with the scarf. and instead of rayla shooting down callum’s “smelltriloquism” idea, she simply adds onto it! LOVE HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS

“i think it’s good luck!” YES IT IS RAY THAT’S UR BOYFRIENDS SCARF

also, here you go. you’re welcome.

2. STILL PINING. GOD DAMN.

first, CALLUM BEING SO EXCITED BY ALL THE MAGIC IN XADIA IS S O CUTE! MY SON. this might turn into an overrall review of s3. o well

second. FLUSTERED RAYLA AND FLUSTERED CALLUM. Y E S

third, THE ADORABURR FIELD! their smiles were so fond and soft and A. they make me cry of joy. 

an overall look on it, i like how this episode really shows their feelings clearly. no “will they won’t they”, at least for rayla. it’s clear she has feelings.

3. AH FUCK. ANGST.

first i love how when rayla mentions that she’s excited and happy but also terrified, callum tries to comfort her. good boi. best boi.

second, elf callum. i love that scene so much even if the second-hand embarrassment kills me, and rayla is j like “why the fuck do i love you. im gonna kill him.”

third, DANCE! callum not being rude and saying her home is “modest” before rayla explains it’s an illusion, his BLUSH WHEN SHE HELPS HIM, and the softness in general. rayla’s excitement that she’s home and talks abt that she can show callum where she went to school, the best moonberry surprise place, until...

fourth, AH FUCK. A N G S T T I M E. rayla being crest-fallen before callum says that it must’ve been a mistake, and she realizes that ethari would probably understand!

and then CONFIRMED GAYS. YES.

rayla realizing ethari ghosted her too and then callum GOING O F F. he angy and when rayla runs out callum IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS (like in a later episode) and comforts her again.

when ethari comes down and breaks the spell and says to callum “trees to meet you too” and rayla’s like “don’t encourage him”

also callum trying to get on the shadowpaw and ethari being Concerned is AMAZING. concerned dad content

i’ll talk more about ezran/ruthari/the dark magic trio in a later ted talk

4. H E R E W E G O

first, rayla clearly being sad and callum picking up on that quickly (he even seems to be almost falling on purpose, perhaps to make her smile?) and asking if she’s ok before being shot down by rayla insisting she is fine. GOD DAMN. THAT HURTS.

second, their interaction with nyx is so amazing. rayla being protective of zym and callum being a DORK is awesome, but also their decision making.

after rayla reluctantly decides that they can go see how nyx could get them across the desert so quickly, they see the ambler and then their reasoning is amazing.

“what do you think?”

“the dragon queen is dying.” and then i forget the rest of the exact quote but they give a subtle nod to eachother. they make their decisions TOGETHER. AS A TEAM. AND THAT’S ON HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS X2!

third, callum continuing to gently press for rayla to express her emotions. he doesn’t pressure her, but seems to simply let her know that if she needs to talk (when she insists she’s fine), he is there. 

four, MORE FLUSTERED RAYLLUM. YES. TY NYX but also fuck u for taking zym but also ur hot- A N Y W A Y

five. OOOOOOH. MY FAVORITE SCENE.

rayla’s crying and callum tries to reassure her. nyx is plotting, while rayla runs away and callum follows. Y E S.

rayla talks about how there’s nobody left that cares about her and she lost everything.. and then the SPEECH. i have this speech memorized i’ve watched this scene so many times

"JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY. JUST, LISTEN TO ME. YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO FEEL THIS BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. I KNOW THAT, AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. YOU HAVE TRUE COURAGE, AND A BIG HEART! I'VE SEEN YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN SO MANY TIMES AND EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU GET UP AGAIN. THAT'S REAL STRENGTH. AND.. AND YOU'RE TEN TIMES FUNNIER THAN ANY HUMAN I KNOW! chuckle SEE? SEE YOU KNOW YOU'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE SMART AND FAST AND BEAUTIFUL. RAYLA YOU'RE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON I'VE EVER MET."

LOVE THEMMM

and then rayla kisses him and that’s all that happened. callum was not a dumbass. right? RIGHT???

5. MY FAVORITE EPISODE!

first, rayla saving callum from the soulfang serpents and callum helping her get up is AMAZING, LOVE THAT.

second, callum tryna get a good position and rayla j saying to hold onto her and callum GETTING FLUSTERED. BOY IS PINING also he didn’t have to hold her that close.

“I DON’T THINK OF HER THAT WAY” “YOU AND I DON’T HAVE THAT YET” LIAR.

three, THEM JUMPING OFF THE AMBLER AND. THAT WHOLE MOMENT? THE ROMANTIC TENSION IS KILLING ME

four. DAMN CALLUM RLLY DO BE HAVING HEART EYES @ RAYLA WHILE SHE KILLS LIKE 80 SOULFANGS HE IS PINING PART 2

five. THE SPEECH. THE SOFTNESS. THE KISSES. GOD DAMN. FAVORITE SCENE OUT OF THE ENTIRETY OF TDP. LOVE THEM.

also here you go again

what can i say except YOU’RE WELCOME

6. ANGST BUT ALSO FLUFF ALSO REUNION

once again won’t b talking abt ezran specifically but there’s some passing mentions of him from now on

first, rayla and callum reaching the stone thunder and callum asking “is it... a statue?” and rayla sadly saying “no. it’s not a statue” A. I CRI.

1.5 ayla and callum best dragon parents

i’ll get to an actual analysis later

second, THIS MOMENT IS UNDERRATED EVEN THO IT’S ONE OF MY FAVS why has nobody mentioned the lil tender moment where ezran is by phoe-phoe and rayla puts her hand on callum’s shoulder AND CALLUM PUTS HIS HAND ON HERS. SO SWEET.

third, OK I’LL STOP MOST OF MY UNINTELLIGIBLE SHRIEKS AND ACTUALLY ANALYZE THIS.

callum is upset because of thunder and rayla sympathizes immediately. this is similar to how callum lets rayla let out her own emotions, and rayla is doing the same. he explains how he feels angry, upset, confused, sad, and rayla quickly empathizes. he keeps on venting, not knowing whether to feel regretful, or glad, and how he’s confused because that’s sarai’s spear. he feels sorry that all this happened, but rayla reassures him that zym and ezran are going to break the cycle! that’s hope! and then they hold hands and i screech

AND THAT’S SO FUCKING HEALTHY AND I LOVE IT. THEY RLLY BREAK ALL BAD HET RELATIONSHIP STEREOTYPES (coughbutistillheadcanonthembothasbiandcallumistransilldieonthishillcough)

7. angst but not rayllum angst so its ok

first, they begin to go up the storm spire and i really love their banter. “and i’m guessing the dragon queen didn’t make her den at a nice, halfway kinda place?” “nope. tiptop!”

cuties.

second, ASSDHFNF THE FACT THEY M O C K THE IDEA OF A FORBIDDEN RELATIONSHIP. THEY’RE IN LOVE AND THE WORLD CAN DEAL WITH IT. LOVE THAT FOR THEM

third, RAYLA CATCHING CALLUM. IT’S. NOT RLLY BIG I JUST LIKE IT AND THINK IT’S CUTE HOW EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ALSO OUT OF BREATH SHE RAN UP TO CATCH HIM. 

four, AHSDHGDHFG THEY DEADASS FORGOT EZRAN WAS THERE. more flustered rayllum i love that

8. FUCK IT’S RAYLLUM ANGST NOOOO

one, ibis is j a good boi. back to rayla and callum

two, rayla going in to see the dragon queen and when she runs out callum QUICKLY FOLLOWS to see if she’s ok. asks her if she’s ok, and she OPENS UP!! CHARACTER GROWTH BABY!!! and then they hold hands and i once again shriek

three, AH. HELLO ANGST.

before we go to the actual angst, can i say that THE LAUGH AFTER RAYLA SAID “STORM SNEEZE” IS SO CUTE. CALLUMS IN LOVE. MY SON.

oh no.

*bonks rayla on the head* nO SELF SACRIFICING!!

although their fight is super angsty and i hate it, it does provide some conflict and more plot because it gives callum a reason to want to find out the truth about rayla’s parents. and then he does! people argue that this fight was unnecessary or that callum was a jerk, but this was needed i think. he did let his worry become a bit of anger, and that was not a nice move, but he knows he fucked up and fixes it!

and then we get soft rayllum this is fine

9. AND YOU THOUGHT LAST EPISODE WAS BAD N O *CRYING*

there’s not much rayllum featured in this ep, but the amount we do get is 80 PERCENT ANGST AND I WASN’T OK WITH IT

first, the fluff! callum trying to do the wing spell and rayla teasing “did you pull a muscle in the middle of a jumping jack?” is so cute. i LOVE THEM. also they hold hands and i SH RIEK again. 

also soren how dare you interrupt callum he was abt to confess

second, callum when he’s explaining the battle plan and his ZAP HAND. rayla is j watching him like “yep. that is my dork.”

and CALLUM SEEMS SO FOND WHEN JANAI CALLS RAYLA THE LAST DRAGONGUARD. PERHAPS I SOB

skipping forward in time a bit for the angst oh no

third, callum going up to the storm spire after ez encouraging him to go to rayla. love that soft brotherly relationship. and we think “oh, soft rayllum, right?”

NO. VIREN’S UP THERE.

fourth, THEY DIDN’T NEED ME TO BE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR WTF. the fact that rayla’s blade went right in front of callum and he looks up and sees zym in danger, viren is there, and RAYLA is there, p a n i k.

and then rayla jumps and the entire rayllum fandom SC REAMS after callum’s “no!” before she jumps and “no, no, no, RAYLA!”

fifth, CALLUM NO WHY ARE YOU JUMPING TOO- oh wait its ok he did the wings and im still crying fuck

THAT CONFESSION THO- i cri tears of joy now. they’re in love

sixth, I J WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE EZRAN SHOWED UP. like it’s clear that they’re talking or something, but abt what is the question. also yes they hug and raylas fond

seventh, THEY HOLD HANDS!! soft bbs,,,

AAAND IM DONE! this is. quite long so if you read all of this i hope u have a good day and thnx for listening to me ramble with some coherent thoughts