#why should you bother with doing thing when you don't DO thing))

[prael]

Day 6: Revenge Or Fate

IOI/Gugudan Sejeong x male reader smut

words: 5,611 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist

"What's that look for?" you ask with all the whimsy you can muster. "I only said that I bought your favourite popcorn. Why are you staring at me as if I just got down on one knee and proposed?"

"You did say you'd marry me someday," Sejeong jokes. Then she does that thing she always does when she's nervous—tugging at the lobe of her ear.

You roll your eyes. "Yeah. I mean when we are both in our sixties. When you have become the crazy cat lady and I the bachelor with a penchant for wine and cigarettes. It's not even close to that time yet."

"Why would you be smoking?" Sejeong wrinkles her nose. She knows you can't stand the smell.

"Because I'll be an ageing bachelor, duh," you answer with a dismissive wave of a hand as you sit by her on the couch. She's got her legs curled up against her chest, the way she always does when it's cold outside. You'd know—she's been sitting like that on your couch every winter since the beginning of time.

She lets out the softest of laughs before it quickly dissipates into silence. She's staring across the room, but not really looking at anything. Her face is painted in melancholy. You know her well enough to know that look, and you hate it. Hate everything it represents. You sigh. The first time you saw her like this was back as teenagers, after the dog she grew up with had been hit by a car. It still hurts your chest.

"You've got that look again," you tell her. "Like there's a million and one things in your mind and none of them particularly good."

"I'm okay. Just tired." Sejeong's smile doesn't quite convince you.

"I wasn't going to say anything. I thought you'd tell me if you wanted me to know, but it's been months since you asked me to come over on a Friday night, so something has happened. I haven't seen this much annoyance behind your eyes since the end of Game Of Thrones. What is it?"

"I'm just feeling overwhelmed, that's all. I wish you weren't so observant."

"You should be used to it by now."

Sejeong flashes a half-hearted smile and takes hold of your hand as she used to do when you were kids. You feel guilty for the way your stomach flutters.

"I guess we have always known each other better than anyone else," she admits, her hand still clasped around yours. It's warm and familiar. You feel the urge to push away, but how can you? It would give far too much away. She has always had this effect on you—you could never distance yourself from her warmth. "He's an asshole."

"You don't need to tell me twice," you chuckle. Then: "Tell me what happened."

"I think he might be cheating."

The air escapes from you at once. The way Sejeong said it is so casual, almost as if she'd resigned herself to this fate a long time ago. And here you are, trying your best to keep your anger under control, like always. But not for her sake—rather, for yours. You know where your feelings belong, and they have no place in the situation at hand. Not today, and definitely not ever. You take a deep breath and look her square in the eye.

"What did he do?"

"I shouldn't have mentioned it," she laughs nervously. She doesn't want to put any more weight on your shoulders than she already has, because that's who she is, you suppose. But how can she expect you to ignore it when she looks like a sad dog staring into the rain on someone's front porch?

"We're best friends. I want to hear everything," you insist.

"He's been acting differently lately." Sejeong pauses. "Distant. Like there's something he isn't telling me."

"Do you think there might be?" you ask carefully.

"It's always something with work. Or a friend that really needs him. Or a family member or—fuck. I don't know."

"I'm sorry."

Sejeong sighs and runs a hand through her hair. There are unshed tears in her eyes. This bastard is making her cry. You want to smash something, preferably his head.

"I don't wanna bother you with this shit," she whispers. She sounds exhausted.

"Don't say that," you retort softly, squeezing her hand in yours. It's clammy. "Don't ever say that again."

She gives a curt nod.

"God knows I've told you enough about my romantic misadventures over the years," you joke. Your chest tightens when Sejeong lets out the tiniest of laughs. Maybe you can still make this right, whatever this is. "Misery loves company."

"You know," she begins, pausing to look at you properly. There is something unreadable in her gaze, something that you've never seen before. It makes you hold your breath in anticipation of whatever is to come. "If there's one person I could choose to be miserable with, it would be you."

For a brief second, you forget that time exists.

"Well, I'm very honoured," you reply eventually. There's another pause where you ponder what to say next. Then, simply, because that seems like the easiest answer: "Do you want me to go beat him up?"

Sejeong laughs and punches you in the arm.

"I thought you were a pacifist?"

"Yeah, but exceptions must be made sometimes."

She raises an eyebrow at you. You can't tell what she's thinking. "For me?"

"Yes."

It feels like standing on a cliff. You want nothing more than to jump, to feel freefall in your whole body. The only problem is that you'll most certainly die. The ground below is made of jagged rocks and bad ideas. Yet, here you stand, willing to do anything in the world for the beautiful girl next to you. Even if it means lying broken beyond repair.

Sejeong breaks your trance when she explains, "There's this girl he works with. We had dinner together with some people from their office two weeks ago, and... I don't know. They just seemed off. She kept looking at him. You know that look? The one where they linger on someone just a bit too long."

"So that's what gave it away?"

"Well, that and the rumour. They had a thing before he met me. It's over now, or it was." A single tear rolls down her cheek. She wipes it away quickly, seemingly irritated at herself. You frown. Sejeong has no reason to be ashamed of being hurt. She should be allowed to shed tears, even buckets full if necessary. You wouldn't judge. "At least that's what he said. He promised me it was over. But... God."

You reach forward to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Her lips tremble, so you quickly move your eyes back up. Staring at her lips is dangerous territory.

"You don't deserve this shit," you say resolutely.

Sejeong chuckles sarcastically. "Then why do I keep ending up here?"

That question stings. Not because it's directed at you—it isn't—but rather because you know the answer. Sejeong has been in this kind of position too many times to count. She attracts guys like honey does flies; every single time, with no exceptions. Only the worst seem to make it past the rest. Sejeong gets caught in their deceitful net time and time again, only to inevitably break her heart after months and months of manipulation disguised as devotion.

"Want my honest answer?"

"Yes."

"I think it's because you're the sort of person that believes the best in everyone. And that is a beautiful trait. I love that you do that. I really do. But sometimes..." you trail off, not quite sure how to continue without sounding accusatory.

"Sometimes I get screwed over," Sejeong finishes. You nod in response. "You're right. I guess it's my fault for trusting too easily."

"No," you shake your head. "It's not your fault. That part is absolutely wonderful. It's just..." You're suddenly hesitant. What if Sejeong takes this the wrong way and shuts you out?

"What?" she probes.

"Have you ever heard the expression 'you can't see the tree for the woods'?"

"Sounds stupid."

"It means you can't see what's right in front of your nose," you explain.

Sejeong stares at you for a long time. You think she understands, but it's impossible to know. It would probably be better that way—if she understood and did nothing about it. You aren't supposed to feel this way about her. How many times haven't you imagined what it would be like if things were different? If circumstances were perfect, if her current guy hadn't appeared out of anywhere and swept her off her feet before you'd even realised what was happening.

But that's just your luck.

"Thank you," Sejeong whispers. "Can we, um, watch something? I don't wanna think about this right now."

You let out an awkward cough. "Yeah. Yeah, of course. Do you remember when you forced me to watch Twilight, and I spent the entirety of the movie complaining about how terrible it was?"

"You still watched all of them with me." A tiny grin appears on her face. Thank God.

"That was truly the highest form of torture," you joke. "I hope you brought something better today. Please don't tell me you downloaded another movie about sparkly vampires."

Sejeong punches your arm. "I'll have you know I am extremely cultured nowadays."

"Yeah? Show me then."

A couple of hours pass and everything feels decidedly normal. You rest against the arm of the couch and Sejeong rests against you. You make jokes at the expense of the film as you always do and she laughs that soft, carefree laugh of hers. The credits roll and Sejeong sits up, stretching her limbs like a cat after a nap. You smile at the familiarity of it all. For a moment it doesn't matter what she has—or hasn't—been crying over.

"I'm tired," she says. She blinks slowly as if to prove it to herself. It's quite endearing, actually.

"Yeah?" you ask nonchalantly.

"Will you let me stay here tonight?" Her voice is small, unsure. But why? It's not the first time she has stayed here. This place is practically a second home to her.

"Like you need to ask," you retort lightly as you stand up and look down at her.

She opens her mouth to speak, but that's when her phone rings. When she sees his name flashing across the screen, she visibly freezes. Annoyance seeps into you like acid rain. His nerve—to call at such an hour, and expect her to pick up. Sejeong just watches, almost paralyzed, until eventually, she does pick up.

"Hey," is all she says. The reply is much longer. You can't make out the words he's saying but the tone tells you all you need to know.

"I was going to," Sejeong replies tersely. Silence. Then: "I told you already, I went over to—" Pause. She swallows thickly. "You didn't tell me you were going out." A longer stretch of silence, during which his voice gradually increases in volume. Suddenly Sejeong sits bolt upright. Her eyes grow wide with confusion and disbelief.

"Me!?" She shouts. "He's my best friend! I wouldn't—" Another pause. She takes a deep breath. "No. No, that isn't fair. You can't—"

It sounds like he hangs up. Sejeong doesn't move. Her hands are shaking violently.

"Do I even wanna know?"

"I should go home," she murmurs flatly.

"To him? To the guy who's probably just fucked his co-worker?"

Sejeong turns to glare at you, eyes cold as ice. You immediately regret your words.

"I'm sorry," you quickly amend. "That was uncalled for. It's none of my business. I shouldn't have said that."

"Why?" she asks bluntly. Your heartbeat picks up in a hurry. There's anger in her eyes. Anger that could turn against you so quickly.

"Why what?" you reply defensively.

"Why don't you wanna be with anyone? You've rejected every single person who's tried to get close to you since we were sixteen. There's got to be a reason."

The world grinds to a halt. Time, space, and life itself stop existing for a minute while you consider your options. On the one hand, you could lie; come up with a suitable excuse and maybe she won't push for more. On the other hand, you could simply admit to the truth that's haunted you for years.

You open your mouth. Close it. Fuck.

Sejeong stands up, wading in the silence towards you. You can't help but take a step backwards. In that split second, you're sure she knows—and yet you cannot tell.

"Have you ever loved anyone?" Sejeong demands to know.

Your heartbeat roars in your ears. "I don't understand why you're asking me this," you choke out. A part of you wishes you were back there on the cliff. At least then you could've jumped off of your own accord, with a little dignity left intact.

"I need to know," is all Sejeong says. Her gaze is relentless. You hate it. It makes you want to claw your own skin off—and there are truths under there that you plan to take to the grave.

"Why?"

"Because I need to know if what I'm going to do next is the right thing."

She stands beside you now. On the edge of that cliff, though it's starting to feel more like you're on the roof of your car. Staring up at the stars on some forgotten summer night. The jump seems more like a flight.

"I have," you admit. Somehow it seems easier than to try and fight whatever force is controlling the both of you. It feels strangely liberating.

"But you won't allow yourself to do anything about it." You know her well enough to discern a question from a statement, no matter how carefully she might try to veil them as the latter.

"It's complicated," you say quietly. She's so close to you now that you can hear the hitch in her breath. Why is she pushing this? "Why are you doing this?"

Her eyes flit from yours to your lips, then back again. So quickly. One, two. But you saw it. And your entire body tingles in anticipation. You'll dare move away—not now, not when the leap of faith feels more like a hop.

She doesn't say anything else. One more small step and her body collides with yours. Lips press against lips and suddenly, all thought scatters. Sejeong tangles her fingers through your hair and pulls. A gasp escapes you before you regain control and kiss her properly. It's frantic, rushed. Years of pining bleed out with every touch. You grab her, pull her as close to your body as possible, and lose yourself completely. Something is swelling inside you. A feeling so large and uncontainable that you think your chest is going to explode any second.

It is indescribable.

All of it—the sensation of kissing her, holding her—surpasses description. You're falling from that cliff, but she's holding you, and before you can hit the rocks she's dragging you to the couch and climbing on top of you.

It feels unreal. The entire world disappears as your lips find hers again and again and again. You don't care to question what happens after. This moment is yours, forever branded in your memories, and nothing can take that away from you. Even if it ends here—even if she were to walk away now—it would've been worth it. Completely and irrevocably.

When you finally part to catch your breath, you can't help but stare at her in awe. She's so beautiful. A masterpiece. Your hand moves to her cheek almost automatically. Sejeong lets her head fall against it with a soft sigh.

"Wow," she whispers.

"Yeah," you croak.

"Please don't regret this in the morning." Her voice is so quiet, filled with so much pain, that it breaks your heart. Your own fears are secondary.

"I never could," you breathe. Then you lean in to kiss her again, slower this time, savouring every sensation as if it might be the last. By some miracle she responds eagerly, fingers wrapping around the collar of your shirt as she holds you steady. You have no idea where this leaves the two of you, but you want her closer—now. You reach around and slide your hands under her thighs, pulling gently upwards. She follows your lead, settling against your lap in a way that makes the situation undeniably real.

As you kiss, her hips start moving back and forth. Soft, shallow movements. Little whimpers escape her throat and fall directly into your mouth. Fuck. She moans—actually moans—into the kiss and a violent shiver travels through your whole body. You break away momentarily to look at her face, flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes staring back at you.

"Do that again," you whisper against her lips.

"Make me," she pants.

The next kiss is searing, open-mouthed, and accompanied by Sejeong grinding her hips against you. Harder now. Unrelenting. Your hands travel up her waist, slipping beneath her blouse to feel warm skin underneath. You feel every tremble of her body when your fingernails drag lightly across her flesh. A gasp—then she leans backwards, with her arms outstretched and clinging behind your neck, to look you dead in the eye as she continues moving her hips against you.

"Sejeong... What are we—"

"Shh."

Your hands snake further up her shirt. Her back arches in response as she grinds down hard, moaning loudly. Your eyes flutter shut briefly to enjoy the sensations—the sounds—coming from her. You force them open once more because you can't miss this show for anything. You push the shirt up and over her chest. Her hands slip from behind your neck momentarily so that you can get the garment over her head. And then she is there before you, bra and sweatpants-clad, panting softly and waiting.

"Sejeong—"

"Fuck me." It is barely more than a whimper, but it rattles the very core of your being.

"What?"

She lunges forward and kisses you forcefully. There are tears in her eyes—tears you didn't notice until now. Her desperation bleeds through.

"Please," she whispers into your mouth, her voice breaking slightly. "Please."

You can't deny her. How could you? You're unfastening the clasp of her bra and your hands are everywhere on her. Pulling her closer, exploring every inch of bare skin you can get your hands on. Her fingers start unbuttoning your shirt—clumsily, but getting the job done. Once open, her nails dig into your bare shoulders, as if testing out whether you're really here, tangible and real. As if you could disappear at any moment and leave her stranded. A loud groan escapes her when your fingers brush against her nipples.

"You're so fucking beautiful," you murmur into her ear. She whines at the words, nails digging deeper into your skin.

The friction between your legs is driving you mad. You've got the burning urge to pick her up and slam her into the nearest wall, but you savour what you have. First, you kiss her neck, then it's a trail down her collarbones. Your teeth nibble playfully at the skin until she moans, begging you to do something. You obey, leaning in to flick your tongue across a nipple before swirling it around the bud. Her fingers fly into your hair and hold you against her breast.

"Holy shit."

Your mouth latches on tighter. Sucking. Biting. The heat pooling between you grows more intense. Eventually, you detach and move on to the next, eliciting more delicious sounds from the girl above you. All those nights spent fantasising about exactly this don't come close to the real experience. You're supporting her, around the waist and the small of her back, while she leans back in your lap, presenting herself to you.

You appreciate every inch of her slender figure. By eye and then by tongue. You draw constellations along her skin, your touch is feather-light. Across her toned stomach to her hips, then right up the side of her body. She throws an arm above her head and giggles lightly as you lick all the way up underneath it. You follow a path to her armpit. Sejeong giggles more when you begin to nibble there too. When you raise your eyes to meet hers she blushes fiercely.

"Weirdo."

"Just appreciating you," you murmur, pressing soft kisses against her shoulder and up to her neck.

"Mm. I like it," she replies hoarsely.

So you spend some time like this. Appreciating her bare body and making her squirm. Kissing, licking, and biting everything that you can possibly reach until her writhing becomes borderline violent. Then she grabs a hold of your jaw, looks you deep in the eyes, and utters the most sinful words you've ever heard her say.

"Enough teasing. I want to ride your cock now."

Every inch of you lights on fire. From your forehead to the tips of your toes, you feel flames lick at your insides. Sejeong climbs off you without another word and starts pushing her sweats from her hips. You watch, spellbound, as she wiggles out of them. Her panties follow suit.

Then she turns to face you. Standing fully nude, absolutely breathtaking in every sense of the word. A goddess. Every bit as perfect as you had imagined. Even your fantasies weren't this good; nowhere near as intoxicating as this moment right now.

"You have ten seconds before I sit on your face instead," she deadpans, you both laugh. At least she hasn't lost her humour.

You unbuckle your belt and shuffle them down as best you can while still seated. Enough that she can reach down and pull your cock free from its confines. Your eyes roll to the back of your skull when she wraps her slim fingers around it. Pumping up and down. You're hard already, unbelievably so, and when she drags her thumb across the head of your dick it actually twitches. You suck in a deep breath, willing yourself to focus.

And then she sits on your lap, sliding along the length of your cock. Fuck. She repeats it a few times. Back and forth, slicking your cock with her wetness.

"I always pictured this," she admits.

"Really?" you croak.

"God yeah, I remember back in college. I must have rubbed one out to you more times than I can count." She smirks at you then—a wicked smirk that makes your entire body shiver. A filthy admission to you and you only. She does it again, drags her wetness along you. How on earth are you supposed to remain composed when she says things like that and does things like this? You wrap an arm around her back and pull her closer, staring at her as if seeing her for the very first time.

"You can't say things like that, I'm gonna—"

She cuts you off with her tongue in your mouth. Kissing you like it's the last thing she'll ever do, and your lips the only form of sustenance she'll ever need. It gives way to her frantic little moan, desperate and unrestrained. For the life of you you can't comprehend what is happening, only react, and fuck if it isn't the most incredible experience you've ever had. Her skin is burning against yours, hungry and yielding to your every touch.

Sejeong shifts slightly and grabs a hold of you properly. Your eyes widen when the tip of your dick brushes against something wet, warm, and soft. The very centre of her. She repositions herself, now holding you carefully against her, and then... slides down the length of your cock, pausing halfway down. The pleasure is so acute that you cannot control the way your back arches off the couch, and neither do you control the profanities that spill out from your lips.

A sinful grin spreads across her face. As her legs are pinned around your waist, you cannot move, but Sejeong certainly can. And boy, does she know how. She starts bouncing herself up and down, riding you so expertly and looking so good doing it. You've thought of this so many times—having sex with your best friend, of all people—but you did not picture it like this.

"This okay?" she murmurs in your ear. You hear the smile in her voice.

You utter the only word you can muster: "Yes."

She laughs airily, placing a kiss on your temple as she continues her rhythm. When she moans—a long, drawn-out moan, half-pained, half-pleasured—and throws her head back, you stare up at her, eyes drinking in the beauty that is in a position so incredibly vulnerable yet completely in control. How you long to capture this moment and keep it somewhere safe forever. She looks down at you now. Her heavy-lidded eyes pin you to your spot as much as the physical manifestation of her pinned against your skin. She traces her fingers down your jaw, your neck, and the top of your chest.

"I wish he could see me now," Sejeong hisses, anguish evident in her voice.

"You look so fucking good."

"He doesn't know what he had," she laughs bitterly. "Fuck him."

"Fuck him," you echo. Sejeong smirks and moves her hips more fluidly. Goddamn. Her tight little cunt feels so perfect clenched around your cock.

She watches your face closely as she keeps riding you. As you keep clutching her hips and help her along, grinding deeper. Groaning when she throws her hips forward faster and faster. Her cunt is so hot and tight. She sucks at the life seeping out of your pulsating cock and squeezes it with her inner muscles in ways that no one has ever done before. Sometimes she pulls completely off you, her breath shuddering as you twitch, only to take you deep inside her again.

Your hands have a mind of their own, sneaking upwards to grip her neck. You give it a gentle squeeze, just enough to get her attention. All the while you're staring intensely into her eyes. They've become glassy, intoxicated, more than just wanting but longing for it. Her voice is hoarse, strained, as she says, "How have I been so stupid? All this time—you're right here, and I never—"

"It doesn't matter. None of that matters."

"You're so—fuck."

Her body trembles and she falls forward onto you. She's gripping your arms, nails sinking into your flesh. Sejeong's breath grows increasingly laboured. After a long string of expletives, she lets her head rest on your shoulder as you snake an arm around her back and support her. Her whole body is rigid, teetering on the edge of an orgasm.

"Never felt this good," she forces the words out amid moans as you buck your hips up into her, picking up the slack as she begins to falter. The rhythm is quick now, urgent, filled with unbridled passion and everything left unspoken for too long.

When Sejeong cums, you feel it all around you—her pussy quivering, leaking her arousal around you, dripping down your thighs and saturating you, almost drowning in the intensity. It makes her moan into the crook of your neck and rock her hips, fucking herself while trying desperately to quiet the sounds of her ecstasy against your body. But that is unthinkable, to silence someone like that, and you tell her so. Whispering the filthiest things in her ear as she throbs around your cock, dragging out the last tremors of pleasure of her orgasm as much as you possibly can. She spills everything out into your shoulder, every word, every whimper. Until at last, you can feel her sagging in your lap, breathing heavily and spent.

"Keep going," she pants, tightening her grip on your arm. "Don't stop."

She throws herself to the side, pulling you with her, and somehow lands flat on her back with your body on top of her. You wince at the sudden shift. But not for long. Because Sejeong opens her legs wide, hooks her calves around your hips, and tells you again not to stop.

You smirk and lean forward, trapping her beneath your body and capturing her lips in a sensual kiss. It is deliberate, lingering. Her arms fly up and tangle themselves through your hair, locking you together. When your tongues meet, you sigh deeply against her. There is a warmth settling over you. Languid, dream-like. Like you're both floating through clouds, carried away by the sweetest of breezes.

There is nowhere else in the world that you would rather be than right here, between her legs.

You rock into her, once, then twice, each time more intense than the last. The angle is entirely different. You grab a hold of one of her legs and hitch it up a bit, allowing yourself to thrust deeper inside her.

"Are you okay?"

"Mm. Move slower. Nice and slow," she instructs.

And you do. Eventually, a hand comes up to cup the nape of your neck. Sejeong stares into your eyes and your breath catches. Then you're kissing, again and again, but there is not so much desperation and anger anymore, but something else. It is the feel of her hips meeting yours, the way you press your bodies together, the softness of her lips and the taste of her mouth. Her breaths rush from her lips to yours, from hers into you.

Sweat starts to bead at your temples as you rock into her. Slow, deep, patient strokes. It is not desperate fucking anymore, or an attempt to pour all of your heartbreak into some meaningless action. It's almost reverential—the way you're holding each other, soft and sure. A sweet torture, a sublime suffering, for as long as time allows.

You don't talk. Your mouths say nothing, at least. With your bodies, however, your fingertips whisper praise against her skin. Spirits float free and serenade each other. Sounds escape her that you haven't even dreamed of. Broken, wanton, as if wrenched out of her. They rise above and meet in a higher plane of reality, where two minds are one.

It takes time. A slow build to the crescendo. You know when you've struck the final note by the way she cries out, over and over again, her pretty little hole convulsing, spasming around your cock. She wants to squirm away but has nowhere to go. You refuse to let her. You smile against her neck and sink your teeth into the skin there.

Soon you follow, groaning her name into the warm flesh. It's a flood—your insides are melting, pouring out from your loins and into her heat, her insides contracting, trapping every ounce inside. Hot, sticky, yours. This feeling. It is as if your heart has grown wings, a phoenix born anew from the ashes of who you used to be. You don't have to be lost anymore. She will carry you, always, her fingernails tracing patterns in your damp skin. There is nothing to fear.

Sejeong whines and moans softly as you fill her. One more careful thrust and you still, collapsing on top of her as the waves subside. All the while she is there, stroking the back of your neck and quietly reciting every piece of filth that she can think of.

You wonder whether this will last longer than the night.

God. Would you be okay with that?

When you eventually move back to look at her, to make sure she's okay, there are tears in her eyes. Uncertainty overwhelms you. Before you can react, before you can ask what is wrong, Sejeong cups your cheek. "Thank you," she whispers, eyes boring into yours with an intensity that takes your breath away. This girl. All these years. All the wasted time. It feels right being with her; everything is finally where it should have been all along.

"You were worth the wait," you breathe. You place a kiss against her brow before rolling off and settling next to her.

"Do you..." Her voice fades. She runs a finger along your collarbone, eyes anywhere but yours. "Do you want this to be a one-time thing?

"No," you answer without hesitation. You catch her hand in yours, entangling your fingers, willing her to understand everything that you're unable to tell her.

Sejeong smiles. Genuine, unapologetic. For the first time in months, she looks happy. Fuck him, indeed. "Good," she says with a soft laugh that evaporates any of her lingering doubts. Her eyes flick to your lips and she whispers, "So, uh, we've got some lost time to make up for."

"Yeah?" you whisper while rolling her back over and climbing over her. "If there's a debt to be paid..." You start trailing kisses down her neck, down her sternum, grinning at the tiny shivers it elicits. "What better time than now?"

Your kisses lead you over her toned stomach. Once you reach the juncture between her thighs, you pick up her leg and set it over your shoulder. Sejeong is already squirming, anticipating what is to come. You take a look at her—mussed hair and flushed cheeks, mouth slightly open, beautiful, tempting. It feels almost gratuitous—that you're able to see her like this. It makes you pull her even closer, and stick your tongue into her center. Her upper body lifts almost immediately and her eyes fly open. A shaky whimper leaves her lips.

She's right. There is a lot of catching up to do. Luckily for her, there's still the whole night ahead of you and a lot more you'd like to show her.

[melminli]

BANG BANG BANG

summery - thanos was always just such an easy person to argue with. you really hated the guy and that was something that was never going to change, even if your life was on the line and it fucking was.

pairing: (thanos) choi su-bong x fem. reader

word count: 1.8k

contains: violence, death, dark content - just usual squid game stuff really

prev.

"I ask for your attention. The first game will begin shortly. Each player will have their picture taken, then they will follow the staff onto the pitch."

You eyed the confusing and pastel-colored building you were standing in as you listened to the instructions. It wasn't too loud although, there was a bit of whispering from the crowd, the line to the photo booths was pretty organized as well. That was until you suddenly noticed a commotion from a corner, and look who was at the center of it. You just rolled your eyes when you saw the purple-headed guy standing casually between his fans and looked away annoyed after he winked at you charmingly.

Thanos didn't let your subtle rejection bother him. He called out your name and gestured with his fingers to indicate that there was an empty spot next to him - you know, for the group photo. "Hey, you can join the photo too. Come on."

You continued to ignore his voice and moved forward as the gap between you and the others in front of you widened. Eventually, the loud voices faded into the background, and it was your turn to take the photo. However, while you stood in front of the camera and looked at the smiley face before you, all sense of happiness vanished. If only you weren't so desperate for money, you wouldn't feel compelled to remain in this strange place surrounded by these people.

The flash went off without you even realizing it and caught the absent look on your face. You continued to follow the moving queue like a grazing animal following its herd, lost somewhere in your thoughts until suddenly a person grabbed you by the shoulder.

You instinctively started to defend yourself with widened eyes. "What the hell dude?!" you screamed silently in a panic until you saw the grinning perpetrator in front of you. "Su-bong? What's your problem, I told you to stay away from me asshole, are you stupid?" you grunted angrily and tried again to catch up with the person in front of you so as not to block the way any further.

Thanos just shrugged his shoulders disinterestedly while he casually climbed the stairs behind you. "You really talk a lot, so don't hold it against me when I tune most of it out," he replied, which made you walk a little faster and made him pick up a little more speed to keep up with you.

"Hey, wait a second, woman!" he called out and followed you. "Besides, you know what? You should just call me Thanos, everyone does - it's the name I go by you know? Not that I expect someone like you to understand the creative thought behind it, but come on. At least try."

You raised your palm to stop his flow of words and perhaps also to put up an imaginary wall between the two of you. "You can explain it however you want, but that's not your name, it's stupid and I'm definitely not going to call you that." you laughed at him. "Only someone like you could watch every single Marvel movie there is and then identify with the ugly mega villain, really."

That's why I'm not listening, he thought to himself, running his tongue through his teeth in annoyance. "Can you not be a bitch for a second? You're killing the mood," he spoke out before leaning over the railing and shouting. "The mood is dying!"

"Shut up!" you whispered aggressively as you dragged him away by the arm and rubbed your face in frustration. "What did I do wrong in life besides being born to deserve this..."

Su-bong shook his sleeve from your grip as he sighed himself. "Don't be so dramatic. Are you really still angry about that thing with -"

"Yes," you answer without hesitation, not needing to know how he finished his sentence. Why? Because ever since you knew him, this guy had only made decisions that made you angry. When you thought of the reason that finally broke the camel's back, you had to stop yourself and take a deep breath. "Whatever, someone like you isn't worth it," you declared and then walked with several others through some gate, into the open. No, you were still surrounded by walls, even if they disguised themselves as the sky and clouds.

"Welcome to the first game. All players, please wait a moment on the field. I repeat -"

You continued to look around and noticed people entering from two more entrances. Thanos stood in front of you to block your view. "Are you seriously ignoring me right now? You women are all the same."

You only confirmed his statement with your silence and by averting your gaze from him. Before he could object any further, the gates suddenly closed behind you and the voice from the loudspeakers started talking again. "The first game is called: Red Light, Green Light."

A game for children? You repeated perplex in your head and tuned out the voice explaining the rules of the game. You often played this game as a child anyway, you knew how to play it. Do we really earn money by playing this?

"Listen to me! Listen carefully, everyone!" A man suddenly shouted out, attracting the attention of the crowd by trying to explain that losing in this innocent game would mean death.

Unconsciously, your heart began to beat faster as various thoughts raced through your mind. What is this crazy guy talking about? You get killed if you lose? What nonsense. But on the other hand, there must be a catch, who else would give out money for something like this? Maybe -

"Don't worry, that guy just has a few screws loose." Su-bong's voice suddenly spoke out next to you as he turned his index finger next to his head to visualize it. "I can see that there are a million completely unnecessary thoughts running through your little head right now because you always have this funny look on your face when you do," he explained and you just tried really hard not to pay attention to him. He just had to make life difficult for you.

Your eyes wandered again and you looked at the disbelieving faces of the others, who were also just looking at the front man strangely. I'll just be careful and see what happens. Someone will probably lose and then we'll see if it's true or not, simple as that.

There was an announcement that the game was about to start and you saw the stopwatch at the front set to five minutes. You took a deep breath and finally, the robot girl moved to look away. "Red light, green light."

Your concentration was fixed on watching her movements so that you could stop at the right moment. You didn't want to rush, but the time pressure was real. You found yourself glancing at the time too often and subconsciously started to count the seconds you had left. You usually weren't a person who could work under such circumstances, but you had to manage the whole thing somehow. You really didn't want to lose, especially not be the first to do it.

"Freeze! Don't move!"

Shut the fuck up. This guy was seriously getting on your nerves. Your eyes were looking forward while you just stood still and then, a bee flew in front of you. Stay away you stupid thing, you thought as the distance between the insect and your face grew smaller and smaller.

A female voice next to you finally spoke out. "Is this guy on drugs?" She asked when the strange man started to scream again, you didn't know if it was that which caught the bee's attention or her sweet perfume that was suddenly being carried through the wind in your direction, but it didn't matter. You were just glad that it wasn't your problem anymore. Though, you couldn't breathe a sigh of relief since you didn't dare breathe at all when that creepy doll was turned in your direction. The thing looked like it could shoot lasers out of its eyes at any second or something.

"Nope, that's not how you act when you're high." Thanos replied from beside you, and even if you could hold your breath for as long as you needed to, things looked a lot different when it came to a petty comment. 

Your mouth didn't move when you spoke, like that of a ventriloquist's. "Of course, you would know best, you fucking drug addict." was all that came out of you while you looked at his back. 

Thanos grunted as several ideas popped into his head about how he could twist your words, but he tried really hard not to say any of them. I could really take some pills right now. "I'm about to really hurt your feelings, sweetie."

"No! Really?" you let out as you pretended to be really scared of what was about to happen before your tone changed back to being monotone. "I'm pissing in my pants, please don't."

Ignoring your little argument, the little innocent bee finally landed on the neck of number 196. "Hey, what's that?" she uttered as she felt a slight tingling sensation on her neck.

Thano's eyes turned to her figure beside him as he answered her. "Don't freak out, it's just a bee."

"A bee?!" She exclaimed in a panic and started waving her arms around wildly to scare the insect away as quickly as possible. You watched her, as many others probably did right now, but the girl herself realized her own mistake far too late when she finally stopped moving and looked up at Thanos. "Shit." she laughed out. "I just moved."

As soon as she finished her sentence, a bullet flew straight through her skull and dropped her body motionless to the floor. You felt a cold shiver run through your whole body and your heart suddenly stopped before it started beating like crazy in your chest. That didn't just happen. Your head automatically tried to calm you down with some kind of slander, but your eyes couldn't help but move to the dead body on the floor, which was now smeared with fresh blood. No, it really did.

[zombolouge]

The thing is, it's not about the Therapy Speak. It's not that everyone who disliked DAV hates healthy communication as a dynamic in fiction. It's not even about only being allowed to be a good guy, really, because most of us did do that anyways (though the option not being there is a loss I grieve even if I never chose it myself, but that's another rant for another day).

It's that DAV does all that stuff at the expense of being believable. At the expense of characters being permitted to have personalities. At the expense of emotions behaving the way emotions actually work for people. At the expense of letting the plot build tension through the stakes we're forced to grapple with.

Half the fics out there take the conflicts between the characters in the previous games and resolve them. I do it myself ALL THE TIME because I like to find a path to resolution through just about any conflict, that's what fascinates me about telling these stories. But the higher the stakes, the harder a conflict is to resolve. You CAN resolve any conflict, you CAN communicate healthily through any emotion, but you can't skip the time it takes to process it all to even be able to communicate it. As someone whose got CPTSD and recovered from many Traumas, I can tell you that the TIME it takes to work through it is not something you can fast track, and the ups and downs of your emotions on that journey can't be skipped. It doesn't matter if you know exactly how to do it, exactly how it's going to feel, or exactly what the end state will be, you CAN'T speedrun it.

DAV has stakes that are astronomical, but nobody treats them that way. Nobody experiences denial - a common psychological reaction to being presented with information that shatters your worldview. Nobody expresses any distrust in the establishments handing out this information - something common among cultures that have at times been at war, even if those wars are "resolved" in the present. Nobody really ever breaks down - something that any person is capable of under extreme circumstances, especially when facing multiple crises of faith that challenge everything they thought they knew about themselves. Nobody blows their lid because they've been repressing the hell out of everything. Nobody grieves for southern Thedas, the entire thing dying off screen and giving you, the player, NO way to engage with it in any way.

Not to mention there are barely any inter-party conflicts, when there should be a lot more. Why is everyone (except Spite) fine with it if Emmrich sacrifices Manfred to become a lich? Why is everyone fine with Illario potentially being set free if he was working with the venatori and Elgar'nan, two sources that have actively attacked everyone in the party? Why doesn't Neve resent Lucanis if Treviso is picked? Why doesn't Harding get pissed off at Nevarra for having a secret society of liches that never helped during the Inquisition's war against the breach and corypheus? Why doesn't Harding feel ANYTHING about Ferelden and the rest of the south? Shouldn't Harding resent the fact that she's stuck in the north while her home dies?

All of these conflicts ARE resolvable, but not easily. And it's not believable that they're never brought up. It's not believable that these characters skip through everything that happens with like, barely a frowny face most of the time. In DAO, Alistair leaves if you don't treat his conflicts with respect. In DA2, your party members try to kill each other if you don't pay attention to their conflicts/emotional needs. In DAI, people can leave or betray you, Cassandra throws a chair at Varric and tries to body him out a window. ALL of these can be resolved but it takes effort, and the characters get to SHOW that they're bothered by them and struggling the way a person would when faced with those emotions.

The problem isn't the therapy speak, or that everyone is loyal and won't leave, or that they aren't mean to each other enough. It's that it's toxic positivity. It's toxic as fuck to imply that anger or grief should be smiled over or else you're giving up, and it's damaging to people to avoid engaging with their own negative emotional responses to extremely negative stimuli. It's pasting optimism over very real, very weighty issues, sweeping it all under the rug, and you keep waiting for the lid to blow off the pressure cooker that creates, but it never does. It never becomes anything that emulates real emotions, which is why the whole damn thing feels hollow. Everything's dying and nobody cares, not even about themselves, and that's NOT healthy communication.

It's bullshit, half-assed storytelling that didn't tell us the actual story, just the vague idea of what it could have been.

[harmonysanreads]

I KNOW WE HAVEN’T KNOWN ANYTHING ABOUT PHAINON YET (except for that cute face and yummy booba) AND I ALREADY HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM.

Okay okay imagine Yandere! Phainon who loves you and cherishes your existence too much to the brink of obsession (can you blame him?). Him, being a perfect man himself still thinks that he lacks something, and that something is your devotion, your unyielding love because he deserves it, right? He deserves to have your attention and your affection after everything he has done for you.

Oh no, dear Phainon is definitely not a selfish man, he just needs your love to complete himself, to have someone that he could return to after a hard day.

That’s why I think this man will definitely love bombing you. Gifts, kisses, cuddles? Everything you want, everything you ask for. And even if you don’t even need it, he still offers it to you like the desperate puppy he is. He will spoil you rotten, and I mean it in the most respectful way. He found your smallest quirks adorable even if it’s not that special in your eyes. He reminds you to stay dehydrated and go to sleep early, he even tells you to eat healthy. That’s why after knowing him, you have never skipped another meal. And he will definitely coo softly to you whenever you feel insecure about yourself. That’s why you need him, that’s why you should rely on him. And the only thing Phainon ask for as a payback is your love, love him like the way he does to you. Please please because you’re his pretty girl and he loves you too much to even think that this is not a mutual feeling.

Can you really say no to him? To that adorable face and those sparkling blue eyes that seem to go lovesick everytime they catch a glimpse of you?

It was the fifth time this month, or was it the sixth? You couldn't be bothered to keep count anymore, the absurdity of the situation pushing you closer to questioning reality.

“You do know that it's illegal to break into a person's house?” you manage to croak out, senses strained by sickness.

“Break into your house?” he pulls out a chair to sit, the bowl of whatever he'd brought with him finding its place on the table beside your bed.

The near-dumbfounded edge to his question makes you deadpan, “You're so humorous, even when you're sick. How is it trespassing when we're in love with each other?”

You feel your fingers clutching onto your bedsheets, did he even hear you? Can he hear himself? To that, your conscience answers with a firm no. He'll only acknowledge what will suit his fancy, anything else is but you being in a ‘phase of denial’.

“I am not in love with you, how many times do I need to reiterate?” you stress, watching the twirl of the spoon as he stirs the contents in the bowl.

“Hush, I know you're just moody I didn't arrive sooner. I read it on that book you had on you on last Saturday. This is the part where I'm supposed to apologize and hold my ears, right—”

You release a heavy sigh.

You could not decide what begged the most concern : the fact that he doesn't see the problem in his behavior or how accustomed to it that you're getting.

A warm touch on your forehead startles you, another firmer grip on your arm stops you from moving away, “How are you still so energetic with this high a fever?” the candle atop the table flickers, a frown blemishes his face.

He leans in, you respond by increasing the distance. “I took medicine earlier.” you mutter, suddenly feeling like a guilty child.

“Did you? Good girl.” you don't need to look at him to picture the shine clinging at the corners of his lips. You shouldn't look at him for it'll reveal the barely held back cringe spreading across your face.

You're about to protest but a wave of dizziness halts you. Phainon notices the change, you find yourself wishing he wasn't so observant.

“But you haven't eaten, have you?” his hands act too familiar, too comfortable in touching you. You're forced to inhale as he cups your face in inspection, pretending it's for work — but you know, his greed extends too far for it to be anything but an excuse.

“I did eat.” you try to assert, he remains unconvinced.

“Are you still mad at me? If so, say it, I can apologize however you'd prefer. But please don't lie to me about matters that concern your health.” a squeeze to your cheeks, shadows fall on him.

You almost want to laugh at the worry in his eyes, at the way he behaves so much like a perfect lover. If you hadn't known better, the haze clouding your sense would've made you believe him, buy that he's being sincere.

Unfortunately for him and fortunately for you, you're just a bit more distrustful than others, just a bit more cautious than he's giving you credit for — a bit too lucid to have faith in his ‘love’ narrative.

You purse your lips, you are mad at him ; just not in the way he's deluding himself to be. As you contemplate whether to snap at him or not, he releases his grip on you in favor of scooping a spoon of the contents in the bowl, ending his path before your lips.

You turn you head away, a clear rejection. You expect him to probe again but his sigh catches you off-guard.

His finger wraps around a lock of your hair, yearning stains his eyes. “This would've never happened if you just accepted to be mine.”

You soak in his words for a second. Your left eye twitches as you realize, he completely ignored every previous piece of dialogue for his agenda.

��In your dreams.” petulance coats the statement.

To your horror, Phainon easily brings the lock of your hair to his lips, his smile widening as if he's got you exactly where he desires.

“How did you know? I do dream of you, everyday.” sparkles float around the air of his face.

You find yourself grasping at straws, how does one wake up a man who pretends to sleep? A voice in your interjects, perhaps it is for the best you cease these attempts altogether?

“Now, won't you continue to be a sweet girl and eat up?” his words are honey, his smile is blinding and oh so dreadfully, there is adoration in his face, in his every step.

It has alarm bells ringing in your head, because it doesn't make sense.

“No.” you sharply deny, pushing the spoon away again.

“Why not?” you notice just at the nick of time, there is an edge to his voice this time. A crack forming in that perfect face.

“Because I don't trust you. What if you mixed something weird in it?” that is an understatement, your distrust for the man stretches further than the food he offers.

The elders always say, if something is too good to be true, it is too good to be true. ‘Love’ is not reason enough for you to believe Phainon's apparent devotion, his benevolence. No man would squander his time and resources only to back it up with such an easy reasoning — at least, not a man like him. Even if he says it till your ears bleed — you will not believe him.

The Chrysos Heir's hum interrupts the silence, “Then, if I do this...”

Your quizzical gaze falls on him, he holds your stare and you feel a kick at your ribcage. Struggling is useless, but you try anyway ; if just to be petty, if just to drive your point across, if just to survive. He squashes your attempt with an insultingly easy grip, showing you exactly how futile it is.

His thumb parts your lips with an insistent press, joining his pointer finger in holding your mouth open next. Your nails scratch at his glove in a pitiful attempt at getting him away, his free hand holds them both captive.

His parted lips shrinking the distance is the last thing you see, before you close your eyes shut. You would breathe if your lungs hadn't given up, the increase of strength in Phainon's grip seizes you with fear, makes it feel as though your blood froze with dread. Your instincts stop kicking, accepting its place in the serpent's jaw.

You feel a sharp kick of spice on your tongue, washing through your parched throat. A force has you closing your mouth, holding it in place until the content has been swallowed.

You heave as if you reached the surface from an arduous dive at last, mind working overtime, trying to process what just took place.

A clink of the spoon as it's placed on the bowl startles you, Phainon closes his eyes, a smile nearly splits his face in two.

“That's more like it. See, it was delicious and perfectly free of questionable substances, no?”

Phainon's smile breaks into a chuckle at the astonished look on your face, you feel a twist somewhere inside at the way derision drips from its tune. But before you can observe further, you feel a swipe of his finger on your lower lip. You make the mistake of glancing at him and he utilizes your mishap to make a show of licking the residue from your lips clean.

If you were skeptical about it before, you are certain now — this man will be your doom.

SIKE.

[moody-alcoholic]

On a Wing and a Prayer

Part 10 - They Say the Truth Set's You Free

CW: dead dove don't eat, torture, suicidal thoughts, vomit, mentions of injury's, near death experience.

Previous parts - masterlist - next

It’s like a dream. 

You wake, your body dragged into the room, strapped to the table or the chair. It’s always Graves and one of his shadows. You’ve stopped listening to them, you just sob or scream. Anything to get your energy out, you’re scared you might slip up, say something just to get them to stop. You tried begging when it was John and Simon, they didn’t listen to you, they didn’t believe you. Why would Graves be any different? 

You won’t give him the satisfaction. 

‘What do you think Riley would think of you now?’ 

‘141 left days ago. Left you here to suffer and you still keep your mouth closed?’

‘It doesn’t matter anyway, at this point you’re just delaying the inevitable.’

What is the inevitable? Death? You used to be scared of death, you don’t fear it anymore, now you know there is someone waiting on the other side.

When Graves comes back you don’t bother holding your breath anymore while water is poured over your face. By the time they’re finished and pulling the rag away you can barely breathe. 

It’s one of those days again, you’re shivering water drenched over your body. Your throat is raw and your stomach is heavy with water.

“Price trained you well.” Graves says as he dunks the rag back in the water. You can barely focus on him, you can’t think straight. you‘re worried if you open your mouth you might say something you don’t mean, admit something that’s not true then it would be over.  

He presses the rag over your nose and mouth. There's no water this time, just his palm over your mouth and his thumb and forefinger pinching your nose. 

Your body involuntarily squirms. Your lungs burn, your head swims. He’s not letting go, maybe this is it. 

You hope there's a heaven you would like to see Simon again.  

…

“It’s been 3 days, this has to be enough.” Kyle says, slamming a folder down.

“We get one shot, we should collect everything we can. Leave no room for error.” John says he agrees with Kyle but rushing in could do more harm than good. “Laswell will be here in a few hours, we’ll go then.”

“That’s a few hours too long.” Johnny says. He’s been the most quiet, sitting behind a laptop or stacks of paperwork. It’s not the same, he’s not the same, none of them are. 

“Why don’t you go check on Simon, get something to eat.” John suggests.

“Not hungry.” 

“Coffee then.” Johnny looks over at John. It’s less of a suggestion and more of an order. He sighs, getting up, closing the laptop and walking over to the door. When Johnny opens the door he almost jumps. The doctor from the hospital is standing there, his fist clenched like he was ready to knock. 

“I wanted to speak to Captain Price.” He says, Johnny frowns moving to the side. John stands up nodding him in. 

“I want to help. I had no idea this was going to happen. I thought it was because you took the helo. I told her it was supposed to stay.” he says, Johnny stands behind him crossing his arms. 

“I didn't know he was going to torture her. She’s not a traitor, I can vouch for her.” The doctor says, he seems genuine. John sighs, sitting back down. He’s fidgeting, seems like he really didn’t know how fucked things were. His word isn’t worth much but at least there’s more people in your corner and he can definitely get access to the hospital computers. At least then that makes it easier to prove your movements. The doctor's pager goes off and he turns his body to look. 

“Can I?” He asks, pointing at the phone on the table. Price nods, rubbing his chin. Anything to get you out quicker, Johnny was right making you wait a few more hours is a few hours too long. 

“Okay, I’m on my way.” The doctor puts the phone down.

“Is she breathing?”

Something makes the hairs stand up on the back of John’s neck, he looks at the doctor, something feels wrong.

“It’s the custody wing. You might want to come.” The doctor says. John is on his feet in an instant, he doesn't need to order Kyle or Johnny. He knows they’re following.

…

You wake to pain on your chest. You cough, spluttering as someone grips your face forcing your mouth open. Bile rises in your stomach and before you can stop yourself you vomit. Someone pulls your body on its side. Your vision is still blurry, as your heave emptying your stomach of all the water you’ve ingested. 

‘What the fuck were you thinking!?’ 

‘Your job was to get intel, you almost killed her!’

Your body shakes hands run over you. You blink trying to clear your vision, it's not working. 

‘Christ! What’s going on!?’ 

You recognise the voice. It’s John. Graves said they’d left you. You force your body to turn on your stomach, someone is trying to stop you. You groan out trying to drag yourself to the open door.

“Hey, don’t move okay?” It’s Dr. Sand's hands trying to stop you from moving. 

“John?” You call out your throat raw as you reach out to the door. There's movement in the doorway, you squeeze your eyes closed again. 

Warm hands press on your face, you open your eyes looking up at John bent down in front of you. You look up into his deep blue eyes. His thumb rubs your cheek.

He didn't leave you. He’s still here, you try to smile but you don't think you can. 

“Captain, I can explain.” That’s the General’s voice. 

His hands leave your face and your head slumps on the floor. 

“Soap, Gaz stay with her. The General and I need to have a chat.” There's hostility in his voice. He’s angry.

Johnny bends down by your head. His arm comes round your back. 

“Don’t move her too much, medics are on their way.” 

“Hear that lass, we’re getting you out of here.” Johnny says.

“Simon.” Your voice is barely a whisper. Johnny frowns at you. 

“General-” 

“Stand down Graves.” 

“Sir-”

“Did you not hear him? Back off.” There’s a scuffle, boots dragging on the floor, you keep looking up at Johnny, he’s trying to keep your attention on him. Tears are streaming down your face. Your whole body hurts your chest is the worst.

“Gaz! Leave it, stay with Soap.” 

“Johnny..” 

“You’re okay lass, just relax.” 

You don't know what happened, the last thing you remember was Grave’s hand over your face. You hear more commotion it makes your head spin. They’re trying to move you onto your back but it hurts.

Your eyes droop closed before you can stop them, going limp in Johnny's arms. 

“No, none of that lass. C’mon.” He shakes you forcing your eyes to snap open. You can feel fresh tears run down your cheeks. You try to keep your eyes open but you can’t, it’s just too hard. 

______________________

“Obviously we can both agree that Commander Graves has gone too far.” The General says lacing his fingers together and leaning forward on the desk. John doesn’t say anything, he keeps his arms crossed. Too far is putting it lightly. 

The General swallows, blowing out a breath. Clearly John is not giving the reaction he wanted. 

“I think that we’re both in agreement that we can put this all behind us.” He picks up one of the folders John slammed down in front of him. He had read them in silence, scanning his eyes over every piece of paper that exonerated you. “You have done a thorough job Captain, I don’t think there is any further need to suspect her.” 

Price just hums pressing his lips together. He doesn’t take his eyes off him, staring him down. He’s scared, Graves almost killed you, he did kill you for over a minute. If you died Graves could have lost everything. The General would be making frantic phone calls to whoever he needs to, you were tortured and died on his watch he let it happen. There’s a knock at the door interrupting John’s thought process. 

The General calls in whoever it is leaning back in his chair. John knows who it is, he stands up moving to the side so Laswell can walk in. The General frowns, tipping his head to the side.

“Good to see you again.” She says walking up to his desk, John moves out the way for her. “Torturing an innocent army medic.”  

“Mistakes happen.” 

“For 3 days?” John says, it’s a low blow, he doesn’t care. She puts down a piece of paper. 

“The DOD will cover your ass, you’ll be dishonorably discharged but you won’t face prison time. No one ever needs to know what happened.” She explains. He scoffs, like he has a choice.

“Or, there’s a British General a few hours away who would love to sit down and have a chat with you. After John of course.” The General's eyes flick to him standing at the back of the room, there’s a faint smile on his lips. There won’t be much talking.

He sighs looking down at the paper. 

“C’mon, let’s give him some time to think.” John says walking to the door. Laswell follows silently, she did good, as always. He lets her walk out first before taking one look back then closes the door behind him. 

“Think he’ll take the deal?” She asks as they walk away.

“If he’s smart.” He replies. His tone is short, his words laced with anger. It’s not over yet. 

“What now?” She asks stopping outside the room he commandeered as his office.

“Now I'm going after Graves.” 

______________________

You smell the familiar scent of disinfectant and alcohol wash before you open your eyes. The repetitive beeping of machines behind your head, the dulled pain. It almost feels wrong being back in a safe sterile environment after what you’ve been through.

You look round, the lights are low, it’s dark out. Johnny is asleep in the chair next to the bed, his head slumped over on your arm, his fingers laced with yours. So that’s why your arm is numb. You reach over with your other hand, you push your fingers through his hair. 

He jolts awake, like he’s just been electrocuted, his hand squeezing yours. “Hey lass, I’m so sorry it took us so long.” He’s on his feet wrapping his arms around you. A stabbing pain shoots through your chest, your head is still swimming. 

“Ouch,” you wince. 

“Sorry, sorry. You’ve got a broken rib.” he says, helping lay back down. You try to think back to what happened. It’s still foggy, you don’t even know how long it’s been. 

“Simon.” You say before you can stop yourself. It brings tears, tears you can’t stop as you think about him being dead.  

“He’s fine, woke up yesterday. Being his usual demanding self.” Johnny smiles. You frown almost not believing the words out his mouth. Maybe this is still a dream, he raises his eyebrow as you gawk at him. 

“Graves-” his name catches in your throat, your voice is hoarse. “He said Simon was dead.” Johnny lets out a breath bringing your hand up to kiss it. 

“Want to see him?” He asks. You nod, a bit too enthusiastically. Johnny insists you take a wheelchair, you don’t care, you just want to see him, feel him. Tell him you’re sorry. It feels like the short trip across to the ward is taking forever. When you turn into the room and see him sitting up in bed talking with Kyle. 

When he sees you he stops talking, Kyle turns to see you too. He smiles and comes over, throwing his arms round you as you groan. 

“Shit sorry. I’m just so glad you’re okay.” Kyle says. You smile at him. Johnny pushes you round to the side of the bed. Simon watches you the whole way in silence, his eyes dark. You don’t know what to say, you don’t think he does either. 

You reach out and take his hand, you’re moving slow almost like you’re not trying to spook him. You lace your fingers with his and he squeezes your hand, his thumb brushing yours. This time it’s happy tears that fall. You look up at him, you could swear you see his eyes welling up too. 

You stand up out the chair, your legs feel like jelly but you don’t care leaning against his bed. 

“I forgive you Simon.” You look right in his eyes, it’s almost just saying that forces him to relax. You don’t let him talk, just lean over and kiss him. His hand slips out yours and goes to your waist holding you steady. You break from the kiss taking a breath in. 

It feels like a weight has been lifted. You thought he was dead and you were ready to die with him. He’s here, he’s real and he’s safe. Johnny’s hands come up to support you. 

“Shift over LT let her get in with you.” Johnny says. Simon doesn’t hesitate shifting his body over and pulling the bedding back. You slip in beside him, he reaches his arm around you pulling you up against his chest. You don’t care about the stabbing pain where your rib is broken. 

You relax against him as he gently squeezes you.

“Had to get shot too huh? Couldn’t let Johnny have all the glory.” You say, he hums kissing the top of your head. It feels right being back in his arms, Johnny and Kyle nearby. 

“Can’t have that ego of his getting any bigger.” 

“Na, he just wants a matching scar.”  Johnny says scoffing. You smile, closing your eyes and breathing Simon in. You can feel it, in the back of your head. The memories, the pain, graves face bending over you. The water, holding your breath until your lungs burn and you’re forced suck in air only to have water fill your mouth and nose. 

It’s different this time, you’re not alone. It wasn’t the people you love who hurt you, now you can heal together you hope. You open your eyes, you’re safe. You’re in Simon’s arms, he’s okay he’s not dead. 

“Where’s John?” You ask.

“Beating Graves to a pulp probably.” Kyle says. You smile at him as he reaches over to pull the blanket further up your chest. “He’ll be here soon. You should get some rest. I’ll go find him, tell him you’re awake.” 

“I’ll join you, could use a coffee.” Johnny says. You smile as you watch them leave the room. Simon holds you tighter in his arms, his hand running up and down your side. You’ve missed this, missed him. 

You close your eyes, relaxing against him. “I love you Simon.” 

“I love you too.” He says kissing the top of your head. “This will never ever happen again. I promise.” 

“Make that promise once Makarov is dead.” 

“Only if you promise to come back and help us put a bullet in his head.” You chuckle, like he’s in any position to haggle you. 

“Promise.” 

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[drdemonprince]

Do you have any advice on hooking up when being very COVID concious? I want to venture into casual sex a bit more (I've just gotten to the point in working through trauma stuff that I think I can do it healthily - I'm including no conventional sex BDSM in 'sex' here, bc it does Feel like sex to me), but I live with an immunocompromised person and don't want to put them at risk.

I guess what's holding me back at the moment is knowing I'm gonna be asking a lot from partners on just the COVID front (do a NAT test + be in a room with an air purifier before my mask comes off), before I even get to the compatibility thing (I like myself but I'm a fat hairy transmasc who's repulsed by bottoming and mostly stone, so I know I'm an incredibly niche taste), and feeling like it's so unlikely to work out I shouldn't waste time bothering?

Why give up on yourself and on the conscientiousness of potential partners by never asking? I think you and lots of other COVID conscientious hotties are missing out on the chance to get to know one another if you don't put it out into the world that you exist. There are people out there pining away for a hot, fat trans masc stone top who packs a strap and a portable HEPA air filter, I hear from them all the time.

I would recommend making a post to Lex just laying out your interests and then some of your COVID protocols. COVID-Conscious Stone [Verse/Top] Seeks Bottom for Air Purified Fun is definitely gonna get some bites, if your area is anything like mine! I think it's better for you to lay out your COVID safety protocols in the text of your post -- you don't want to have to waste time heavily vetting a ton of incompatible partners.

You should remember that your caring about COVID risk is an ASSET you are offering to compatible partners, not a burdensome ask! The right people will be thrilled to see that there's still others out there who care about COVID and are doing all that's in their power to make socializing & intimacy risk-mitigated. Even people whom you aren't sexually compatible with will feel immense relief just seeing that your post acknowledges COVID as a serious risk. You're helping to normalize necessary conversations and make the entire space more accessible to disabled people just by being there as yourself, with your boundaries and limits.

The same thing goes for you being stone and not enjoying bottoming. Do you know just how many bottoms are out there who want a cute fat masc to top them??? Thousands of them, dog! You are what you are and what you are is fucking GREAT. And a lot of prospective sexual partners out there in the world are not good for YOU. And so you can filter them out and move on to the next prospect rather than thinking of yourself as a product languishing on the shelf. You have a lot to offer, and you'll find people who get you.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

are you actually mtf? how many transfem friends do you have irl? why is so much of your activism focused on trans men rather than trans women?

Am I seriously getting poser checked for being... trans?

Yes, I am MtF, I've got bottles of Spiro, Prog, and vials of Estrogen suspended in Sesame Seed Oil in my kitchen at this very moment. Hell, I've even got an entire sharps container filled with used needles for both E and T (my husband shares my sharps container on occasion).

As for IRL transfem friends? There's a whole group of 8 of us (7 including me) that play MTG together on Saturday nights, at my LGS. Sure, I could have more, but I live in a very rural/conservative area, and don't really have many social outlets that are for explicitly trans women.

I do have a shit load of trans women and men who I am friends with online though, which tbh is where most trans women know each other from (trans people in general tbh)

As for why I speak up more about trans men than trans women? Well, trans men get way too much shit by both the trans, and cis community simply for being trans. Just look at the amount of transandrophobes that are trans women these days. Not to mention that trans men not only are being affected by anti trans laws, but also laws being pushed to abolish female rights in general (anti abortion measures affect trans men more than trans women, as they're the ones who have to carry the fetus should they ever be raped for being trans men, a thing that very much is an issue due to 'corrective rape' that so many trans men are subjected to). My husband, yes my husband, who I married legally, is a trans man, and I love him more than anything else in this world. So when I see how much shit his community gets, it really bothers me and puts a fire under my ass to want to speak up and out against trans men/masc people's oppression. Because I love him, and trans men are deserving of love and support. It's better that they hear it from another trans person, I feel. Even if I am on the other side of the track when it comes to my transition.

[fictional-reylin]

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ Hawks // Takami Keigo with an underground hero

Warnings: Reader having intrusive thoughts about violence, Reader being horny for Keigo, nothing explicit, mention of blood

Word Count: 3.500

Author’s notes: Didn't know if I wanted Reader to be flustered by Hawks attitude or annoyed since the original post didn’t have a specific reaction, so I did both. I may have made the reader a bit too aggressive, I'm sorry. Also, was inspired by this post. I noticed that there was like a whole "saga" following it but I already had the idea for my ending so I just added bits and pieces where I could.

You are welcome to send requests, don't forget to check this post: ಇ.┊[requests] .ᐟ

It was late in the evening, maybe like three hours after school hours have finished. You were walking back from your way to work to finally catch a break when you noticed your old teacher from UA. You and Aizawa have kept in contact after you had graduated, but never really had the time to speak casually until today. So now you were sitting on a bench in some random park waiting for Aizawa to return with some coffee to catch up. Only for him to sit and complain with you about his current students now that you were an adult and could understand why he found kids annoying.

“I swear, these stupid kids are going to kill me one of these days…”

You took a sip of your coffee that he ordered for you, scrunching up your nose in disgust before swiftly pouring the rest of the drink in the nearby bushes. “Well you said the same thing about my class yet here you are, still alive” you said casually, remembering how annoyed he used to be with your class and antics that you all pulled off. You turned to look at him only to find him throwing you an annoyed glare, but you just laughed at that.

“Remind me why I even bother keeping contact with you ?”

“Cause I’m your favourite old student ?”

Before Aizawa had the time to object to that, you heard your work phone buzzing in your pocket and took it out, thinking that it was some kind of emergency if they called you after your shift. Reading the email that was sent to you, your eyes widened slightly, and the older man raised an eyebrow at that.

“What is it ?”

You re-read it a second time, making sure that you weren’t imagining it, before you read it out loud to him. “They’re inviting me to… some hero event ? Isn’t this defeating the purpose of me being an underground hero ?” You turned to him dumbfounded, and he just shrugged, sitting back and continuing to drink his coffee.

“They sometimes do that. They see an underground pro with a “Bigger Potential” as they say and try to get them to be more public. It makes them more money, and people consider this as a bit of an ego boost.”

You scoffed, you didn’t know if you should be flattered that they noticed you enough to invite you or insulted that they thought you were the type of person to easily chase after fame. Either way, you shoved your phone back into your pocket and crossed your arms over your chest. Aizawa noticed this and decided that for once he would be openly comforting. “You shouldn’t this an insult, you’re a great hero [Name]. And maybe you should consider going.”

You gave him a deadpan look, thinking that maybe from the last time you two spoke he developed some sense of humour. But by the serious look on his face, you guessed that it wasn’t a poor attempt at a joke.

“Are you kidding me ? You hate the paparazzi”

“But you don’t.” He interjected, “At least not as much as me. And you can always just be present there, talk to so some interviewers see how it all works and then go back to working as an underground hero. It’s not like you’re going to stand out much when the top ten, even twenty heroes are going to be present.”

In hindsight, he was right. Amongst the sea of popular heroes whose interviews people were dying to watch, you wouldn’t stand out like a sore thumb, you would be more like a needle in a haystack in this situation. And to be frank, you were always curious about this sort of events since you didn’t know any public heroes, at least not personally. “Well, I would like to experiment with that but… I would feel out of place. Plus, what am I supposed to do when I’m not talking to interviewers ? Look at a random wall ?”

Aizawa was almost regretting encouraging you into actually going, seeing how nervous you were getting solely at the thought of it, but he sighed and calmed himself down for your sake. “If you really nervous about going alone, I can ask Hizashi to accompany you there since he’s going anyway, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind catching up with an old student while there.”

You were so happy about him taking the extra step to make you confident in accepting the invitation that you almost hugged him, but quickly stopped yourself and simply bowed before you could embarrass yourself, “Thank you, Mr. Aizawa !”

Getting ready for that hero event was more torturous than you had expected at the start, because it felt like a dumb family reunion from your teenage years all over again. You wanted to dress casual because in the invitation there wasn’t even a specific theme that they were going for the event, so you were expected to just show up. But according to your friends that previously watched it on TV from a year ago, this was totally unacceptable, and you had to put extra effort into your appearance. Apparently, the fact that heroes were tired every single day from fighting and keeping Japan safe wasn’t enough of an excuse to be casual for one day, and they had to dress up for a bunch of strangers that they were never going to meet again for the rest of their lives.

So here you were, standing in a dress that you deemed was fancy enough for you to not get judgmental looks from the other guests and some light makeup to hopefully hide your tired face. Even though your friends cheered you on when you showed them your outfit, you still felt something was going to go wrong this night. But you decided to brush it off, blaming it on your nerves. You figured that since you weren’t important for the media anyway, nobody was going to pay you the slightest attention. Taking your bag, you locked the door of your flat behind you and quickly made your way outside, waiting for your ride to arrive.

So here you were, riding along with your two old teachers, Present Mic and Midnight. It felt weird given that unlike Aizawa, you didn’t keep in contact with the two of them after your graduation, yet these two were treating you so casually. You figured it was a way for them to show you that they respected you as a fellow hero or something, but it felt too odd coming from your previous teachers, especially Kayama who kept bugging you about your love life and such, to which you could only respond with fidgeting and a nervous smile. Thankfully you didn’t have to listen to any more of her questions since the three of you finally arrived. The first thing you noticed is the extreme number of paparazzi inside and outside the building, the bright camera flashes almost making it impossible to see properly.

You got out of the car, following suit after the blond man to not get lost and end up alone in the big crowd of unknown people. Last thing you needed was to get stuck chatting with heroes that you had no interest in talking to and having to explain your quirk like ten times in a row to different people. Kayama being herself obviously went off to flirt with someone while Yamada stayed close to you and decided to spend time catching up with you, you guessed it was because Aizawa never actually talked about you or never specifically brought you up.

“So, how’s the hero life treating ya, kid ? Everything you expected from when you graduated, or you’re ready to quit ?”

“Isn’t every job that exists making you feel like you’re ready to quit at some point ?”

You did some more catching up with him, talks about hero work and just life in general after graduating from UA, before eventually it was your tun to be interviewed, and surprisingly you enjoyed it. It wasn’t something that you would want to do every single time, you chose to be an underground hero for a reason after all, but it still felt nice to get some sort of attention. Like people saw you and acknowledge you for what you did because it was right, not because you looked cool while doing it. Even if it didn’t last very long and the interviewer immediately turned his attention to Present Mic and talked about how he was so awesome and in return the hero kept shouting compliments and anecdotes, but you were too busy covering your eras to not become deaf to hear anything he yelled, which was too loud for you even if he didn’t use his quirk.

The next day after the event, you sat on your couch and decided that since it was your day off, you could spend some time watching the interview that you did just for some fun. Everything was how you remembered, you took some time to admire your outfit, before you noticed something that made you a bit flustered: Hawks, the number two hero Hawks, passing by you and staring at you, like full on eye fucking you. You sat there for a couple of seconds before telling yourself that he was probably staring at someone else. He couldn’t possibly be staring at you, what kind of reputation he would have if he would just stare at random pro heroes that were only invited on a whim.

Then out of curiosity, you decided to watch his interviews. Everything was normal, some questions about his work, fans, etc… Until you pass somewhere behind him, the camera focusing on him barely catching your silhouette as he turns to yet again stare at you, less openly this time. Then he’s turning back to the camera, and you swear to God you can pass out from his words. “Damn, who is that ?” The way he’s saying it, plus how you can clearly see his face turning slightly red, has your brain short-circuiting and making you hide our face in a pillow like a teenager who got a confession from their crush.

But after some thinking about it, you sit up and now, you’re actually feeling annoyed. If you had just been interviewed, then people would probably forget about you in a week or so. But this is the № 2 hero we’re talking about, people will be gossiping about it for months, maybe even call out to you on the streets, with paparazzi spreading any sort of gossip to make money out of it. And the crazy fangirls, you weren’t ready to wake up to death threats by fanatics that somehow found your private account and thought that Hawks was their boyfriend.

Before you could get angrier about the situation, you heard your personal phone ring and quickly put it on speaker. On the other line, you heard your friend yelling out your name like it was the end of the world or something, which honestly, it felt really fitting to you.

“Did you watch Hawk’s interview from last night ? Dude, he is so into you !”

You could only let out a groan in response to that, sliding from your couch on the floor and hiding your face in your hands. “My life as an underground hero is ruined. Why did I ever decide to go there…”

“Aren’t you a little proud that Hawks of all people thought you are hot ? I mean that’s kind of an accomplishment.”

“I already knew that. I didn’t need someone to say it on national TV” You could only hear a bark of laughter from the other line “Well anyway, I’m sure that something else will pop up and people will quickly forget about Hawks crush, or whatever the media will call it.”

They, in fact, did not forget about Hawks crush on you. And yes, that’s how they called it. For the past week, you had been bombarded with paparazzi, and people from talk shows. They kept inviting you to talk about the situation and your feelings towards the № 2 flirty remarks and questioning about your relationship with him, as if you had any to begin with. His fans who theorized online if the two of you were secretly dating and were just putting on a show for everyone, as if. And just as you had expected, his fangirls were going crazy over this, threatening you to stay away from him. You almost wanted to fake a confession just to see who was willing to find you and murder you in your own home so that Hawks would feel guilty about his comments. But you decided that your intrusive thoughts were best kept inside your brain.

Even villains begin to recognize you, and it especially felt humiliating when you were about to arrest them and all they cared about is if the rumours were true, followed by your teammates' laughter. Hell, even Hawks was pouring salt on the wound. Of all the things that he could have answered when talking in another interview when they brought up the clip of him looking at you and what was your relationship, he responded “If I’m lucky, my future spouse”. The only thing that filled your thoughts at that moment is how you wanted to rip off his swings so that he would finally stop smiling. And again, you decided to keep your intrusive thoughts to yourself.

This had been exhausting to say the least, to the point where you were asked to take a break by every single one of your friends because of how… not mentally okay you looked. It’s not like they were wrong; you kept beating yourself up from every single failed mission because instead of stealthy defeating a villain, your hero name was screamed and shouted at you, making you lose your concentration. It left you wondering how others put on a show when fighting. Lucky for you, you didn’t have to wonder more because some big scandal about Mountain Lady got out, and you were quickly forgotten and were able to come back to that quiet life. Even if some articles about the subject would pop up, people mostly just ignored it and shrugged it off as Hawks being his usual flirt. Which, all things considered, was kind of true, so you didn’t have to worry about him remembering you either if someday your unluckiness forced you to meet him.

…

“I jinxed it, didn't I…?”

It was a couple of days after the scandal with Mountain Lady. You were leaning on the side of a building, munching on whatever dessert you had ordered, the fancy name that it was given already forgotten. When suddenly, you noticed a pair of red wings out of the corner of your eye. That alone was enough for you to start feeling a mix of annoyance and anxiety slowly building up, and that only worsened when he spoke.:

“Heeeey, you’re that sexy underground pro I saw last time. How you doing hot stuff ?”

Currently, your mind was torn between wanting to leave multiple stab wounds over his whole body or making him leave multiple love bites over yours. You knew the guy was handsome, but dammit, seeing him in real life and to top it off in casual clothing was doing something to your body and mind. “So that’s why people say that cameras don’t do him justice. Noted…”

“You birdbrain had managed to ruin my entire image in just two interviews, which by the way I don’t know if you care enough, was not supposed to exist at all. You know how many people called out to me while I was on a mission, and even more had asked me if we were a thing ! And what the hell were you thinking by basically telling people that you wanted to marry me someday ?!” You whisper yelled at him, but apparently your anger towards the man in front of you was doing nothing but amuse him in response.

“Well, what were you thinking when you decided to go there ? That’s a public event sweetheart; people were bound to notice you. Plus…” He leaned closer to you, hands casually resting inside his pockets as he looked down at you with a smug grin. “By the way your cheeks are burning up, I have a good guess that it’s not because you’re angry. So I feel like you enjoy my attention.”

You could’ve answered with a snarky comment; you could’ve acted aggressive towards like you did all this time when you thought about confronting him, you could’ve just glared at him to not give him any satisfaction of being right about your feelings. Instead, your face got even more red than it already was, and you just sprinted off before he could another embarrassing comment about your state. And Hawks couldn’t do anything but stare in amusement as you got further away from him. He had expected you to react like this, but he was not ready to how much he would enjoy this “cute…” He thought to himself, before entering the coffee shop like he initially planned.

After that incident, you thought that you wouldn’t have to see the winged hero again, since you basically stalked all of his accounts to know where not to go when you weren’t on hero duty. But fate had yet again decided to go against your wishes, since not even two days after that, you bumped into each other again, in a less-than-ideal moment at that.

Hawks was busy chasing a mutant type of villain that no one could catch because he kept liquefying his body, when he got into a building. He chased after him, settling for a run since his wings didn’t have enough room to spread properly and let him fly. But before Hawks could do anything, the villain grabbed a civilian that was passing by, pressing a knife against their throat so that Hawks would have no other choice but to let him go. The civilian in question was you, just coming back from grocery shopping with now facing the winged hero as he thought about a solution to not get you killed in the process of arresting this guy.

To put it simply, the situation annoyed you. You were exhausted from hero work, and the only thing you wanted to do right now was go back home to satisfy your hunger with the meal that you had just bought. And you were not going to wait for that birdbrain to come up with a plan while you were at the brink of death only because he was useless at the moment. So, you grabbed hold of the knife along with the shoulder of the villain and threw him over you with full force. You looked down on him, an unimpressed look on your face. “Before taking a hostage make sure they’re not a hero, or don’t do martial arts” You glanced at your now bleeding hand that was holding the knife, sighing at the fact that you would have to clean the floor afterwards to not scare your neighbours.

Hawks didn’t waste any time to cuff the villain, and immediately after checking on you, “I’m so sorry for this. Let me help you clean your-” You cut him off by showing your now completely healed hand, as if the incident had never happened, minus the little scare that would also disappear with time. “Fast healing. Don’t worry about it” He stared dumbfounded at your hand, before eventually regaining his composure and going back to his cheerful persona, a satisfied grin on his face.

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay… And I really am sorry.”

You raised an eyebrow, shoving your hands into your pockets. “For making me almost die or the interview ?”

“Whatever you choose, songbird”

You scoffed, watching as he descended the stairs to finally leave. You leaned against the railings, looking down at him as he made his way down before shouting “If you feel sorry for the latter, you can always invite me to dinner !”

He looked up, a smirk on his face as he considered your offer before replying in a very enthusiastic manner, “Be ready tomorrow at ten. Casual.”

And with that, he finally left. You pushed yourself up, walking towards your door as you picked up your groceries, humming to yourself. “Should have invited him inside maybe…? Nah, then the poor villain would be stuck listening.”

ಇ.┊[bnha masterlist] .ᐟ ಇ.┊[AO3 version] .ᐟ ಇ.┊[navigation] .ᐟ

@moodyvoid

[janecuppa]

Hello ladies and gents!

What you all have been waiting for has arrived! THE TEA.

I just have a few things I want to say first to bring understanding and clarification. I'm not a lawyer. I'm not going to try to sway you one way or another. I'm just going to lay it all out and let you decide. I feel what I share should be able to speak for itself. I may share some opinions and conclusions I've come to, but that is all. Opinions are not facts. It's just what I personally think.

I will admit the tea was served to me with a clear bias, so I will also have to pass it on with a bias.

I don't believe in trying to influence what you think and believe. Trying to coerce you into what I think, because it really doesn't matter. I think it should speak for itself. Those who influence and try to control what you think do so because they want to brainwash you into their way of thinking. I don't think that's right. Autonomy is so important to me. You should have your own freedom in that. So just take it in. Think it over. Decide for yourself.

Use some critical thinking.

Because I will say, when people get a little loud, defensive and aggressive and try to manipulate you and convince you of something, there is a reason. They're usually feeling threatened and insecure. And want to distract you and lead you away from what they don't want you to see. They will flow through different gears. Aggression and defensive to sometimes dismissive. Truth doesn't require such aggressive defending. Truths speak for themselves. Lies don't. Lies need weaving and defending.

So whenever someone has got defensive with me, I pause and bring a more critical eye to the situation. Why? Why are you defensive? What are you trying to deflect? Or if they get dismissive and almost seem to try to make you feel like an idiot for even considering it. "Don't be ridiculous. Why would you even give that a thought?". Theres something off there.

And every single time I've experienced that, I later realized it was because I was getting a little too close to comfort to seeing a truth. Many people can't handle the shame of being found out. So they try to intimidate. They get loud, defensive, or they'll try a different gear and attempt to dismiss it. So, just keep that in mind. If something is being talked about and causes a commotion, there is a reason why.

I keep in mind that people see and interact with the world with their own lense. People who bluster and bully, that says more about them. That reflects on them. It has nothing to do with me. It doesn't intimidate me. Go ahead. I'm not going to volly back. It's not worth it to me. I rather watch snow melt.

So go ahead, try to bully me. Riot and whoever else. You'll just be fighting with yourself. I didn't even bother reading what riot was posting because I really didn't care. I just immediately blocked her so I would stop being tagged and included with the infantile behavior. Do what you have to in order to cope. If it's throwing all the heinous words, threats and whatever else at me, go hard and have fun. And if some of the "NV stans" are paid like some think, then you go earn that coin! Put money in the bank! We all have bills to pay. I get it 🤣. But that still supports my point. If you're on a payroll, you're being told to go be loud and distractive for a reason.

Now. I went in search for answers. I'm snoopy and I want to understand. I ask questions. This entire thing has been bizarre and I think many could see that. It wasn't convincing. I knew there would be cracks and leaks if you searched hard enough. There's people out there that can't help themselves, regardless of administration and NDAs. There are many people around them. Some more consistently and some in passing. I knew there had to be a hotel worker, a sound guy, a friend of a friend, a waitress or something like that out there that would have seen or heard something. Some people can't help themselves if they think something is juicy. They'll tell their spouse, best friends, and maybe their parents. So I went in search for these people. I was determined and I did finally make some connections with seemingly valuable information. The one in particular proved themselves out when they told me that Henry and Natalie would have a public appearance soon. A few days later was the Enola Holmes premiere. The others had plausible stories that I wasn't seeing be talked about. I took it in under consideration, and that's where those stories still are filed. "Consideration and speculation." This is gossip. It's heresay. You have to remember that. It's not the gospel truth and should not be taken that way. Although I will say, personally speaking, that I'm lending it more weight based on the aggression I faced when I first started posting. Something in there is ruffling feathers and there is a reason.

I'll repeat. I'm not the only one who knows this stuff. If they were willing to tell me, they were willing to tell others. It has also been discussed in group chats. I myself have shared with selected people. This information is out there. I'm just the one who decided they were bored, realized they were sitting with all this gossip, and decided to put on the kettle. I knew what I was doing. I don't plan on outting my connections and sources. I don't think I could anyway if I wanted. They were careful. Thank you for your patience. I felt like I was back in university, sifting through textbooks and notebooks while I wrote an essay. That is what took time, trying to go back through conversations to make sure I had it right.

Now the fun begins! Remember, this is all alleged, gossip and heresay and not the gospel truth. I'm just repeating what all I've managed to find. Also, keep in mind I've been snooping and filing everything away for years. There is a lot to recall. I have had many many hours of conversations about this shit show. So even with all I share, I feel like you still will only get a summary. I feel like this could be written into a novel. Keep truck loads of salt nearby.

I've had multiple sources over the years. Some long term. Some have come and gone. I'm not going to keep mentioning them, but my making these multiple connections has enabled me to get all this gossip. It pays to be stubborn and snoopy.

This is probably going to come across as a story and in a way they are. It's gossip. It's multiple stories I've heard about them. I'm going to try to relay it how it was relayed to me.

Let's start from the beginning.

Henry was still under management with Dany. Dany liked to utilize PR relationships. They're common in Hollywood. They're a good way to generate traffic online and in the media with a celebrities name. People want to know the hottest gossip. Who is dating who. It helps keep their name being mentioned and relevant. In this type of business, they want to be relevant.

They wanted him to look like he upped his game from past girlfriends. They wanted to give him the look that he had a hot shot, big-time girlfriend in the industry. She wanted to take her career in a different direction, and she was only too happy to play along. She had been selected by Dany, and he agreed. There was a contract between them. It was originally only to last under a year. It was to be a business transaction.

Hollywood is all smoke and mirrors. They sell you what they want you to believe. It's a production. Even "real life" stuff. It's a business.

It's a cesspool if you ask me.

Social media is important to officials in Hollywood. Social media is another business tool to them. So they got her verified and a following to help her business, as stipulated in their contract. He was obligated to do that for her. It is also why he had to keep naming her publicly. It was in one of his contracts. He had to promote her. People thought it weird he kept naming her by her full name if she was a girlfriend, and I agree. It's fucking weird to do that for a girlfriend. But she wasn't his true girlfriend. She was a business associate and in my opinion, he told us that by calling her a "Partner". That was not a lie. She was a business partner. They were linked by a business contract.

They tried improving her image. They wanted her to be taken seriously. Her image reflected on him. The entire point was so he could have an elevated image. She was given a lot of guidance on how to act and portray herself. They put in a lot of effort. It was a complete scrub down and then rejuvenation.

She was terminated from Legendary. I was told because she was caught stealing their property. I was told it was a script. Which to me makes sense, because if you take that script to a competitor it can cause lots of problems and money lost. She also had a reputation as a bully in the workplace. She caused problems and was not easy to work with. Her ex coworkers have talked about her behavior online before. I've seen allegations on Reddit and IG from former coworkers against her.

Henry and her were in contract during this time. In short, the contract said he had to help her career. Her getting herself fired became his problem. He had already been in talks with Vertigo at this point for a possible producing partnership. He had been able to get her a sham title, articles and some contracted work. So she had worked for Vertigo but not as what they say. She hasn't had a permanent job since Legendary. But he did this to try to cover what happened and to help her become desirable to hire

Natalie also made many threats against Henry. She was not happy with the result of their contract. He was fulfilling his obligations, but she was not happy with the results. She expected more. She kept saying she would not leave until she was satisfied. She threatened that she would lie and tell stories against him.

This is after the era of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Amber Heard managed to be successful in ruining Johnny Depps life for a number of years with some lies. Obviously the two situations are slightly different but the core factors are the same. Lies managed to really cause upheaval in a man's life.

I can only speculate how Henry felt when he realized what he had to work with. He clearly took the threats seriously.

They renewed their contract many times. So there is a paper trail.

He tried to find a middle ground. But she couldn't be controlled. She stepped on so many peoples toes. She was so rude to people around them. He tried to keep conflicts to a minimum but she became too much. Staff members had enough, and they left. He tried to keep conflict to a minimum, but he couldn't manage. That's sad because staff members had to face bullying and abuse. In trying to appease her so she wouldn't go spread lies to the press and online, he couldn't also manage to keep a safe work environment. It's very sad and unfortunate. They were just working to get further in life like everyone else and shouldn't have had to be subjected to that. That's my opinion.

There has also been much conflict in regards to his families dislike of her. They don't hide that they don't like her and they don't invite her around. They don't include her, and there is always a distinct separation between them and her. There have been quite a few fights over this. I've heard she's embarrassed about the fact they don't hide it. TW3 premiere family pictures were to passify her.

They have so many reasons to not like her.

I mean it when I say she is unable to emotionally regulate herself. Each of my sources has had something to say about her behavior. It's a common theme.

She snaps. She loses control. She's impulsive. They've said it's like she loses her reason to her rage.

She screams. She yells. She throws things.

She has got physical in these episodes.

There is one such story I was told. There was witnesses. She must not have cared or she didn't think it through.

She was making demands of Henry. He was trying to explain what she wanted wouldn't work, she got angry, slapped him clear across his face, and then shoved him. They were separated. He went to get his gym gear immediately and left for the gym. She was escorted out. I was told there was a threat of getting the authorities involved that never amounted to anything. I'll talk more on this closer to the end. It's mostly opinion.

She has thrown things at him. She has yelled at and belittled him. She's gotten physical. And not just with him. Others have been involved in these episodes of hers.

His family was appalled, and everyone knew it. They wanted her gone, but there was a contract, and he was afraid she would follow through on her threats and he would have to deal with that disaster. My opinion, is he wanted to try to make it all work and he could get to the otherside. Help her career, keep her happy and he won't have to deal with his reputation being lied on and trying to fix it. I can guess he didn't want to live what Johnny Depp did. Johnny Depp was able to get his life back but for a big chunk of years his life was ruined.

She has also been unpleasant to his family and there's been fights over it. Word gets around. People know. You also just have to look at them and know not all is well there. But I have had people ask how he could let that happen and he hasn't just allowed it. There were big fights about her behavior towards them. With others around. A common theme is she doesn't mind fighting with an audience. My opinion and speculation is that perhaps she does that as a way to embarrass and manipulate him. To possibly try to exert dominance over him. Maybe she thought she had a higher chance of getting her way if she did it with an audience. But people talk, they gossip, and you have people like me who keep their nose to the ground, sniffing out stories like this that aren't really talked about. If you search hard enough, you will find a chink in the armor.

There's also been very long stretches of time he hasn't been physically available to her. She told her friends and family it was just normal long-distance relationship stuff. She's told her friends and family that it's a real relationship. He knows that. His business associates know that. My opinion is I don't think she could live with the shame of them knowing it was just supposed to be a business transaction. My opinion is she wanted them to believe she managed to bag Henry Cavill for herself. If my source is to be believed, she told them she slipped into his DMs, he took notice and responded positively.

But I was told it was because there was nothing coming up to promote during those stretches and he was off living his life and she was home living hers. I do know she had access to his Florida house at one point. Dany helped her with that. Dany had a lot of power and access to Henrys life. He allowed it. My opinion is he was naive and put too much trust in her. I know he changed all the codes, passwords and locks to everything in that house as a result.

I've already spoke on the Fuck Off post. It was a result of Natalie running to Dany upset at the backlash she was receiving. She was upset and felt it was getting in the way of what she wanted to achieve from this business deal. I suppose Dany felt the post was needed and concocted that post. My opinion is she tried to make it sound like he was some white knight protecting his damsel in distress lady love, and it came across disingenuous. Because it was. He hadn't been made a part of that plan. He was not happy, people knew, and Dany and him had a meeting over it. I don't know what was said in that meeting. I did ask lol. But I do know he was not happy with Dany, and it did play a part in her no longer being his manager. As I said, he had too much trust in her. Social media is a business tool, and his business associates have access to it. He had it so she could do with it what she felt was needed. He had given her that authorization.

Their contract had come to an end when filming in Turkey came around. Everything was supposed to have ended by then.

She suddenly showed up in Turkey using the last of her money while bringing her sick dog. She called crying to Henry about how she had no money and still hadn't managed to find a permanent job. She could no longer stay where she was, and to top it off, Meat was very sick, and she could not afford his vet care. I was told Henry had told her she could come and stay for a short visit and he would help her with Meats vet care. At that point, he didn't say anything about helping her with a job or finding a new home. It was, for now you can stay and I'll help with your dog. She was destitute at that point. This is the point where things went completely nuclear.

She caused many problems during the filming of this movie. She caused disturbances and scenes on set. There was a huge production hold up. She came on set and caused a huge scene with Henry. She was the perpetrator, the aggressor. Henry was taken aside by Jerry Bruckheimer himself and was given heck from him. That something like that could not occur again. They had a schedule they had to keep, too. They could not afford a hold-up like that again if it could be helped. So he needed to control her. She ended up being banned from Guy Ritchies films. This is just speculation on my part, but I do believe Alan Ritchson even alludes to the production holdup that resulted from her meltdown in an interview. I also speculate Guy Ritchie went out on a limb for Henry in that interview, where he made sure people understood Henry was a gentleman. It was his films these disturbances happened. He witnessed the meltdown from Natalie aimed at Henry. He knew and heard the aggression lobbied at him. My opinion is he wanted to say his piece and defend Henry from any possible rumors that stemmed from that. I also believe Henry wasn't expecting it. You can see in the interview from his reaction. He went to bat for Henry of his on volition.

She was not even allowed anywhere near the filming sets in Tenerife. She had been served a legal notice about it.

The thing with Natalie is. Everyone knows and has talked about how fame hungry she is. She wants to be a celebrity. It is why she entered the contract to begin with and kept making threats so she could get her way and force him to help her make her way in stardom. In my opinion, she was ruthless. Scare Henry into compliance so she could ride his coat tails. But the thing is, she did succeed in a way. People did know of her association with him. She was publicly known as his girlfriend, just like she wanted. That means throughout the years of her association with Henry, she has been caught with her ass out, almost literally. There's been a few dalliances with different men. Can it be classified as cheating? Henry and her definitely had a weird thing going on. I wouldn't call it romantic. Their relationship was built on fear and was very toxic. But she has been seen out with men. Henry does know about it. He is not ignorant to it. Those around him know about it. That's how I know, but I've also seen some of the rumors through the years myself apart from my connections. Even after posting on here, I've had a few anons ask about the different stories of her out partying and being seen with men. If there's no romantic relationship between her and Henry and it's just the most toxic business relationship known to man EVER, then she can do that. She can have fun with men. But don't be mad if you get what you want, which is seen and recognized. People know who you are. And those people don't have NDAs to protect you. They can go to their friends and say, "I saw Henrys girlfriend drinking and grinding up on some guy who definitely was not Henry". You can't be mad if that gets out and paints you in a bad light. Exactly that happened, and people know about it. She's a party girl and that didn't stop during her association with him. She's been seen out.

Let's not be naive. They have slept together. Everyone is adults. Let's not be children about it. But...

What is embarrassing is what is being said about it.

He told people around him that he could not remember ever going unprotected and that it was only ever a moment of weakness. This is just what he apparently told people and what leaked out from that. I have seen it discussed very briefly in a few private chats, but it is also something my sources shared too. That is what he was saying. He couldn't remember ever going unprotected, and he is embarrassed at the mishap if that's the case.

She told him she was pregnant and he didn't believe her. I asked why he didn't believe her, and all I was told was he thought it was another manipulation story she was using to try to get more out of him. He figured he had always been careful as a rule, so he would be in the clear. She had been poised to tell the tabloids for money. She still hadn't managed to find a job in the industry, which at this point you have to ask why, she had very little money and she was pregnant. He was ignoring her. So she was going to sell the story. He got in contact with her and realized she was telling the truth. He gave her money to hush her up. They discussed the situation. They came to the decision they were going to co parent. At this point, he did believe he could have been the father. He had slept with her recently enough it was possible. I was told that meticulous planning went into this pregnancy situation. She wanted it to be used for clout. They did influence the timeline. People have caught on to that. They did want to throw people off. It was all part of the plan. They had a very tight schedule for everything. It was meticulous. And there had been a birth announcement originally planned.

He again went to help her with a career. He went back to trying to promote her. She now had a baby she had to help look after. She didn't even have to threaten his career this time lol. I was told he wanted the baby to be looked after and provided for by both. He didn't hide that from those around him. It was all very carefully put together and planned out. It was all very intentionally done. Even the things that throw people off, it was intentional.

South Korea was all about Natalie. I'm sure everyone knows what is said about them is known. They do know about the stories going around. They're not ignorant. They polished everything to help Natalie's image based on past criticism. She was pregnant then. And her weight loss? A result from wicked morning sickness. She had awful morning sickness at the beginning of her pregnancy. I remember being told she wouldn't eat because it made her sickness so much worse. I was told she was even harder to deal with then. It wasn't ozempic like people speculated. She was already pregnant then. SK was all about promoting her and a bit about their PR relationship to help bring attention. It was part of the plan.

They both got reprimanded for their performance in SK. There was some ignorance that landed them both in hot water. Her for her appearance and him for 'allowing' it and their PDA. They both were told they wouldn't be welcome anytime soon. Which is funny considering her IG post. It's like she didn't want that found out, so she told the public the opposite of what happened. That's my opinion and speculation. I was only told they both got in trouble, why, and what was said.

It is why the London premiere was very different. They both were reeling from the trouble. And she was told there would be no PDA and she got mad. She caused a scene beforehand. I also can only speculate but I do think she wanted people to begin to talk about a pregnancy then. Her choice of outfit, and the way she was posing and making sure the coat was pulled back. She knew it would emphasize the baby bump forming. That's my opinion. She wanted the rumor mill to start flowing then. Again, my opinion.

NYC. Guy Ritchie didn't want her around. She caused so many problems during MOUW and she was completely barred from the filming in Spain. I was told Jerry B also had a hand in that decision. So she would be unable to debut on the red carpet so they had to get creative. They arranged paparazzi to come. I was told they wanted it to look like they were being followed around and like they both were a big deal. It was staged. All of it. All part of the big plan.

The red carpet premiere in NYC. The choice to have no significant others for the actors was deliberate. To be fair and look uniform. Even the interview was pre-planned. He used it as an opportunity to promote her. That was the plan.

The Father's Day post was also part of the plan. It was all promotion. It was the plan. He would make the post, and then she would piggyback off it.

When I say it was meticulous, it was very meticulous. They also had to do things when he was around and had the time. Even if he wasn't filming, he had films he knew that were upcoming that would need work. He had meetings and trainings. He would still have to travel. So things had to be done when he could do it, such as pictures. Such as public sightings. All of their public sightings were part of it. The dinners. Everything. It was like they were trying to run a tight ship and work around a schedule, in my opinion. So keep that in mind when you wonder about timelines.

Everything went to shit when the baby was born. And there is a baby. Regardless of what some may try to push lol.

She would show up when he was at work and bring her baby. She was never invited. I was told in true Natalie fashion, it was disruptive. But people took notice of the baby. Rumors started. That they both heard. Rumors that the baby didn't really resemble him. She stopped showing up. But the damage had been done. His family had also been urging him to be smart and not just take her on her word, especially based on past occurrences with her. There had been quite a few discussions about that from the beginning.

This is where my information gets spotty, and you have to puzzle it together.

He did contest paternity, and I do know that the judge had to get involved. She was told that if she refused, the judge would then rule it was because she would know the answer to the paternity test and that would be the end of it. She was caught between a rock and a hard place.

Now this is where things get quiet.

But this is the reason why nothing further has been mentioned on the pregnancy or baby, regardless of him saying in that interview more would be coming. In that point of time a lot more had been planned to come.

They have been fighting it out in court.

He has since given her a legal correspondence that she had to leave his house and be gone by the time he returned home from work out of the country. She had also been told to leave him alone while he is at work.

She had been living at his residence but I was told seperate from him. They didn't get along, and I was told that was done so there would be minimum conflict and fighting between the two. He allowed her to stay since she had been pregnant and then had the baby there with no steady income of her own. I was told he felt it was his responsibility to help her get back on her feet.

He didn't buy that house for Natalie or because they were together. I asked lol. There was no commitment between them. My opinion is they only occasionally rolled in the hay together, and she ended up getting pregnant around one of the times. I was told he told people he bought the house for his family. He meant his parents, siblings and nephews and nieces to congregate. As well as preparing for the next stage of his life. He did tell people he wanted to settle down within the next few years, and have a family home in place for when he met someone and began that stage, it had nothing to do with Natalie. I double checked.

Natalie is gone. He sent that correspondence and I was told he wouldn't help her with paperwork anymore that would allow her to stay in the UK. She had to leave.

I was told he has no plans right now to ever talk about the baby.

I don't know the results of that paternity case. I asked lol. I was told gag order and I've seen speculation of the case being sealed.

In my opinion, no one will know the paternity for a long time. But based on puzzle pieces, of people that worked with him saying it didn't look like him and her subsequent disappearance whereas before she had no problem being around. The silence when they told the public more was coming. The fact he asked her to leave and she was told to leave him alone. I feel one can read between the lines. The way they act is apparent there are secrets.

My opinion is that the baby should be left alone. It did nothing to anyone. It's here because Natalie wanted it here. I also can't say gender. I know people think it's a female. But the baby was always referred to as her baby or the baby when spoken of in my conversations. Natalie is a single mother. Let her deal with that. It can't be easy.

So while everything in regards to the baby has suddenly quieted down. I personally would hedge my bets on him not being the father based on other factors surrounding.

My opinion is we will never see that baby. She suddenly disappeared after those rumors around his work environment made their rounds. She hasn't proudly shown off her baby online even with the face hidden. She has completely retreated, which is not her usual way of doing things.

This wasn't because of privacy. Their plan feel apart and they didn't complete it.

That is the main course. The rest is just opinions and what I consider minor factors.

She has not had a steady job since her termination from Legendary. I mentioned earlier she got paid for her appearances with Henry and yall went weird with that one. I was not implying she was an escort or he was paying her for sex. Fucking hell everyone lol.

She was being compensated for her time. It was part of the job. There is nothing wrong with that. Plus, she needed the money. It was considered work for her, and so she should get paid.

I can't sit here and tell you she beat Henry. I only know of the one occurrence where she slapped him. If it's happened more times, it was behind closed doors with no witnesses. But she has tried to shove him and has thrown things at him on multiple occasions.

I've asked and never received a clear answer. But why no consequences for her acting violently. I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe they felt it wouldn't go anywhere. Henry isn't exactly a small man. He's tall and broad. Maybe he felt he wouldn't be believed. Or because of his stature, he felt he could handle it. Again, I dont know. This is just speculation I've made about it.

My opinion is that it is so incredibly sad. No one should have to sit through that. I don't care if you're six foot whatever and 220 LBS of muscle. If someone is acting violently against you, you should be able to to say something. We have a long way to go in order for men being able and comfortable to speak up.

It's very easy to ask why you didn't just leave. You have to live through something similar yourself to understand. Abuse and toxic situations like this do something very weird to our brains. You can look it up. If it's happened long enough, the structure of our brains change. Different areas go in over drive and areas fire off that normally wouldn't. It changes our behavior. We go into some sort of survival mode.

People have noticed, myself included, that he has changed over the recent years. He looked like shit for one, and like he's been drained of life and left a husk. You can tell just by looking at him something is not right. His attitude also changed. He seemed more irritable. He didn't seem like himself any longer. Something was changing in him.

Maybe this was why.

I can't say for certain. Just based off some gossip I was told and piecing other parts together that would possibly explain things. I also had to do some amateur research on brains, abuse and the effects. I went in lol. When I say I wanted to understand, I really meant it. That means taking the time to research and try to put it together.

Again, I can't say for sure this is true. Only they can officially clarify and verify. These conclusions are my own based off my own snooping, digging, analyzing and researching. Take that in how you want.

I believe these two were a business transaction gone horribly wrong. I believe they had a very toxic situation. I believe it was very stupid. I also believe she was the main problem. She threatened him to make him help her climb the stardom ladder. She used and abused him.

He tried much too hard to appease her because he had feared her. In doing that, he allowed an unsafe work environment to crop up. He also did a huge disservice towards himself. In showing her that he would bend to her, taught her it would work. It created a vicious cycle. Of course, she is going to continue to use a weapon she knows works.

He was stomped all over.

They're both not innocent or saints. He allowed a lot of things to occur that never should have.

But I also think it's possible he was subject to things no one ever should be as well.

She must have put too much faith in the NDAs. If you treat people badly enough. And inspire enough dislike, I think you'll be hardpressed to stop their betrayal. Fear does not inspire loyalty.

These are my opinions and conclusions I have drawn. You're free to make your own. I just want to share what I have learned, which this is still a condensed summary but this is the main bulk of it.

I wanted a clearer picture of what was happening. It took time and effort, but I believe I succeeded. But you're free to disagree with me. I won't convince you otherwise if you do. I've already shared what I think and believe. That's enough for me.

Now, let's brace ourselves. We got a taste already of what to expect.

[demonslayerunhinged]

I found it crazy that people think that shinogiyuu would be canon if shinobu survived.

Like my they do NOT want each others i fear

I get you @tomiokagiyuufirststan, but honestly none of that bothers me anymore ever since I learned that:

Majority of these misinfo diehards are young girls who project themselves onto Shinobu and Kanae and see any other interpretation as threatening to their fantasy.

KnY is really popular in countries where the sentiments towards LGBTQ everything isn't exactly favorable like Indonesia, India etc. Here's a graph by ChatGpt cuz I was too lazy

Notice how Twitter, TikTok and Facebook are the main platforms used which is why you're more likely to see those low-key homophobic comments on there.

See, the thing is this rumor/misinfo/bullshit doesn't erase the very much canon instances in the main manga, Gakuen and the Light novels that tell us that Giyuu is gay and his relationship with Shinobu is more of an older brother/annoying little sister relationship.

Also also, no matter how many 'ShinoGiyuu canon screechhhhhhh!' comments they spray around, it won't change the fact that this OFFICIAL artwork exists hahahahahaha!

I don't see any such artwork for ShinoGiyuu

So at the moment I don't really care when I have the power of the Manga, the Light novels, the Artwork and common sense behind me. I fear no bullshit, and neither should you!

[jewish-vents]

The thing about being the only Jewish student at a private art university that goyim didn't think about is that we're a small group. I know everyone's full names. I can get ahold of their parents' contact info and their employers'. I can easily screenshot, record (it's a single party consent state - you can record someone without permission), and gather evidence of everything they say and do that's antisemitic. I have been sending family, significant others, and bosses evidence for the last two semesters and seeing the fallout.

Recently a friend of mine asked me why I can't "just let it go". She's black. I stared at her for a moment and then told her, as calmly as I could, "If I don't push back against it, they'll do it to other people. I was bullied my entire life. This doesn't bother me. If there aren't consequences for their actions, they're going to do this to a kid or an elderly person or someone else who isn't used to being dehumanized." She argued that it wasn't that bad, wasn't that big of a deal, and I should be more chill. I tried not to get angry, but I did say, "If you can be chill about hatred directed at your people, that's your choice. I can't. An injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

She reported me to campus psychological services. Unfortunately for her, I'd never sent her messages about what I was doing, so it was her word against mine. It wasn't hard to lie and pretend I had no idea what she was talking about and then act like oh, she must've heard me make a joke and thought it was legit.

We're still friends. It's one-sided now. I know she's miserable here and needs my emotional support. But I don't trust her. I feel like most of my affection for her has died. I hang out with her only to keep her depression and mood disorder from worsening. As I have a mood disorder myself, I don't want her to suffer. I just wish that sentiment was mutual.

I'm tired of losing friends. I want someone to prove me wrong when I expect them to turn on me.

.

[supercap2319]

What the hell is this?”

Stefan had a long night of doing stupid tasks for Klaus until the asshole hybrid returned to Mystic Falls. After he was forced to turn off his humanity, Stefan traded in his hero hair and brooding for blood lust and aggression. Things were starting to get boring in this town, and Stefan was sick of waiting around like a fucking lap dog.

He was looking forward to chilling in his room for the night. Blasts some Bon Jovi music. Maybe swipe a couple of Damon's blood bags. The sound of his bathroom shower running caught Stefan's attention when he entered his room. He walks towards the bathroom, half expecting to find Damon taking a shower in there. Again. But to Stefan's surprise, it was someone else entirely.

Standing behind Stefan's glass door shower was Grayson Gilbert. The steam from the hot water had fogged up the glass, but Stefan could make out the image of Grayson washing his hair with Stefan's imported Italian soap and shampoo. Watched the soapy suds run down the witch's back before Stefan looked back up, and asked his question.

Grayson turns to him with an innocent smile. A smile that had gotten Grayson his way on more than one occasion, but without his humanity, Stefan wasn't fazed by it anymore. “Oh, hey. Welcome home. Hope you don't mind.”

“What the hell are you doing in my shower, Grayson?”

“Isn't it obvious? Having a shower, and between you and me, this is a lot safer than Damon's bathtub. I'm pretty sure it's covered in STD germs.” Grayson jokes. Stefan was not amused, even if it could possibly be true about Damon's bathtub conquests.

“Look, Grayson. I've had a really shitty day, and you're only adding to the misery, so if you could try to get my humanity back another time and leave, that would be greatly appreciated. Or I break your arm.” Stefan said.

Grayson turns off the water and steps outside, not bothering to cover himself up. It's not like Stefan hasn't seen it all before. “Wow. I thought that Ripper Stefan was supposed to be the life of the party. What's wrong? Klaus ground you?”

Stefan rolled his eyes. “If you're trying to provoke me or something, it's probably not a good idea to do it to a humanity-less vampire. Especially one with no self-control. I could drain you dry like a juice box before you even get a word out.”

“So dramatic. Look, all I'm saying is that if you really are the same Stefan, who was the life of the party in your journals. The one who impressed Klaus and Rebekah, I wanna party with that guy.” Grayson said, walking past Stefan and into the bedroom. Stefan watched Grayson go through his drawers and closet, arms across his chest. “What are you doing?”

“I left some of my clothes here. It should still be here from all those times we…” Grayson let that sentence hang in the air as he put on a pair of black briefs (Stefan's by the way) and then went for some pants. Pretty soon he was dressed in Stefan's old purple Bon Jovi shirt, and a worn-out leather jacket.

“That's all my stuff.” Stefan noted.

“I'm just borrowing it. I'll return it after the party.”

“What party are you talking about?”

Grayson smirks. “My friend, Kuba invited me to a rave tonight. Apparently he and some Gypsies are going to be there. It's a couple of towns over. Let's go.”

Stefan's eyebrows were raised. “And why would I do that?”

“Because you're the fun brother now, right? I told you. I want to party with the Ripper, so let's party.” Grayson said. “You know I'm just gonna steal your car if you don't come.”

“Fine. But if I kill anyone, it's on you.” Stefan said, following Grayson out of the room.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Do you still accept requests?? If so, is it alright if I ask for a headcanon about how the kings + lucifer and bael about how they feel towards the fact that MC excels very well in leadership and is actually capable of leading (like a group or whatever), but they refuse to do so because they don't trust their abilities and much prefers to be a follower instead of a leader? I don't know if that makes sense..🥹

Ty so much for waiting anon (if you're still here?) I started looking back at old requests and I'm just like YEAH dunno why I waited so long on this omg. Please accept my thoughts on this MC!

Bael: He's seen MC's potential when they stepped in to help him out when Beelzebub decided to cause a ruckus in Abyssos and ditch yet again. Making sure to clean up the trouble, ease the devils, Bael was impressed and wanted MC to be a permanent resident in order to keeps things going well. However, when figuring out that MC would rather be in the shadows instead of the front lines, he understood completely. Though he wouldn't mind having a break now and then, it was a lot to ask that of MC. He still makes it a point to compliment their leadership skills when it's due and remind them often that they do have the potential.

Satan: He loves a good leader that reflects his own qualities. That's why he hypes up MC all the time and even gives them free reign to order around his military and nobles just to see how they act under the pressure. Too bad MC would rather be fine as a supporter, just following Satan's command when it comes to battles or how to conduct certain practices. Satan understands, but he's still randomly throwing MC into the leadership role now and then as a surprise.

Mammon: His master is the best at everything, so it's no surprise that they would be this good with leadership roles. I mean, they even got Bimet to listen to them and that's difficult for anyone who isn't Mammon to do. But, he can see without having to ask that MC would rather be more of a support person than a leader. Mammon still compliments them and while he may have a strange way of doing it...and without a filter...his heart is in the right place.

Beelzebub: Yeah, uh good luck with trying to convince Beel that MC would rather not be the leader of his country alongside Bael. He makes it a joke each time that MC should work part-time as the ruler of Abyssos and that he can make it to where MC kinda looks similar to him too. Needless to say, MC wasn't having it. But it's not like Beel is gonna remember, but he treats it like a fun joke each time. The only place where MC isn't holding up the fort...is the bedroom.

Leviathan: He gets frustrated easily when MC doubts themselves. He'd even be inclined to agree, that they don't have what it takes. But he doesn't truly think that about MC, in fact he hopes someday that they can get out of their head and be more of a leader and showcase those abilities to the fullest. He encourages them to spend more time with him, and perhaps he can influence that to a certain extent. Though...sometimes he's fine with MC being a subordinate under him. To think if they surpassed him...

Lucifer: Naturally, he doesn't want MC to do anything they aren't comfortable with so he understands when they would rather be on the support team helping out the healers and following orders. He knows what it's like being a leader in both Heaven and in Paradise Lost and it can get quite exhausting. He supports MC in any way possible, and compliments them when they do well and want affirmation.

Belphegor: Well, since this king is asleep majority of the time and leaves things up to his right hand noble, Beleth there's really not much to discuss about MC not being a leader. He can't really be bothered with it, so in short MC just supports Beleth and helps him with whatever he needs. They thought they'd get more relief with how things are run in Nifelheim but turns out it's just because it's Beleth and Belphie's teamwork that gets things done. So much for that!

Asmodeus: A leader? Well he thinks that mindset is adorable. He likes watching MC use their potential to the fullest, but in actuality he's just getting off mentally to their determination. When they aren't feeling like their skills are the best, he's right there to say he's got it, and boy does he. Asmo doesn't mind being the leader in just about everything. MC won't have to worry for a thing, the battles lasting mere seconds when it comes to having Asmo around. His favorite human just has to listen to him and the rest will follow. Maybe...MC should consider being a leader sometimes to resist his charms? Maybe...

[haru-natsuka]

Second Male Leads Are all Yanderes but I Won't Rest Until I Win My Love Back (Female Reader x OCs)

CHAPTER 7

Story will start after the synopsis

Every second male lead who appeared in this world had a hidden yandere side that can emerge at any moment and turn them into a twisted and obsessive villain.

As someone with a severe case of the "second male lead syndrome", you are determined to pursue your love for the second male lead, leaving the original male lead to become the second.

While you were busy chasing after the second male lead, the original male lead kept on bothering you and trying to get you to choose him instead.

"Don't you dare to come any closer!" You snap at the original male lead, your tone sharp and firm.

"Oh, and who's going to stop me? You?" The yandere stares at you, a menacing look in their eyes, as their body slowly moves closer.

"Too close! Step back!"

"Your words mean nothing to me. You can't control me. I will come as close as I please, you can't stop me."

As if a yandere was not enough, when you chose to ignore the original male lead, another second male lead suddenly entered your life, further complicating the situation.

The yandere and the upcoming second male lead both seem determined to have you for themselves, and they were both very possessive and pushy in their approaches to you.

You just wanted to be happy with your true love. Yandere or not, you would stick with your crush!

CHAPTER 1 << CHAPTER 2 << CHAPTER 3 << CHAPTER 4 << CHAPTER 5 << CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7: HIM AGAIN!

"FOR GOODNESS SAKE! STOP FOLLOWING ME!"

Your morning was supposed to be filled with happiness as you relished last night's moments with Adrian, his touch, his reaction on your teasing but it all crumbled in an instant upon encountering your archenemy once more.

'Uwuuu, I should have seen Adrian first thing in the morning. Why my eyes become tainted with this man again. I need my angel to cleanse my sight'

Adding insult to injury, Cyrus nonchalantly ignored your protests and happily tagged along, ungracefully invited himself along on your quest to find the ideal flowers for Adrian. His cheerful demeanor made it clear that he had no intentions of leaving your side anytime soon.

With a smirk on his face, he offered, "Come now, offer me a bit of your pity. I'm feeling awfully lonely here. It's a lucky coincidence that we crossed paths yesterday. How about we grab breakfast together? It will be on me, my darling."

"Don't call me 'my darling' when there's nothing between us," you protested, feeling frustrated by his persistent presence. "I'm not Liesel! Go back to your own lover and stop bothering me."

But Cyrus disregarded your words, grabbing your hand without consent once more.

'Why is this guy never know etiquette? Adrian is the best guy that ever exist. My man is the one who truly knows boundaries'

Adrian, the epitome of etiquette and respect, never would have intruded upon your private space. He remained considerate, even when presented with the opportunity to enter your house. The memory of Adrian's blushing and reluctant demeanor resurfaced in your mind, a stark contrast to the audacity of the man standing before you.

'I want to be with Adrian. Why fate do this to me? Why do I need to meet this insolent brat again?'

"There's nothing between me and her now," he insisted. "I'm single, so be with me, Y/N."

'In what terms this man does not understand that my entire being is just for Adrian and only Adrian!'

"I don't care about your relationship status, Cyrus," you retorted firmly. "Whether you're with Liesel or not, I don't give a damn."

There was a hint of irritation in your voice as you forcefully tugged your hand away from his grasp. Your eyes darted towards a dangerous and poisonous flower nearby. Wielding your magic, you raised the lethal flower, aiming at him with the hope of paralyzing him and ending his annoying presence.

"Woah, careful now," he exclaimed, easily dodging your attack. His reflexes remained unmatched, living up to his reputation as the top knight in the academy.

"Please don't play with that flower, Y/N. I appreciate your effort in giving me one but please not with one so toxic."

"That's precisely why I aimed it at you," you responded, a mix of determination and annoyance in your voice.

"You want me to transform into a ghostly presence that will always haunt you, Y/N? I don't know you are such a romantic" he teased, attempting to pick up the lethal flower.

Your voice remained cool and detached as you responded, "Go ahead, grab it," a hint of indifference in your tone. "If death beckons, it would surely bring a measure of peacefulness to me and the world"

As Cyrus heard your response, a flicker of uncertainty crossed his face for a brief moment. Yet, his usual cocky demeanor swiftly returned, and he flashed a charming smile.

"Oh, my dear," he responded, his tone dripping with confidence, "It's better for me to remain human instead of being a ghost. If I become a ghost, I cannot touch you as I like." Using his sword, he carefully picked up the deadly flower with the tip and hurled it far away, removing the threat from his vicinity.

Weary of his persistent presence, instead of focusing on him, you continued searching for flowers to give to Adrian, determined to find blooms that could match his angelic nature. You sought out only those purest in appearance, like white roses and bright yellow daisies, all possessing the innocence and simplicity that reflected Adrian's kind manners and handsome looks.

"Why are you gathering so many flowers?" Cyrus's voice interrupted your thoughts. "Did you wake up this early just to pick flowers for Adrian?" His words struck a nerve, reminding you of his unwelcome presence yesterday. You spun around to face him, your gaze locking onto his.

"You followed me all the way back last night, didn't you?" you retorted, your voice low and laced with irritation.

"You just sparked my curiosity," Cyrus explained, his tone tinged with a hint of vulnerability. "You were so adamant on escaping from me that I couldn't help but feel drawn to you. And when I was sneaking around, I observed you with Adrian. So, are you and he together?"

Cyrus's words caused you to falter momentarily, and you chose to remain silent, your mind spinning with a mix of emotions.

Cyrus continued after he read and analysed your expression, his tone persuasive, "He doesn't reciprocate your feelings?" He mused. "It seems that Adrian is still in love with Liesel."

You clutched the bouquet of flowers tightly, the sharp edges of the stems digging gently into your palm. The mere mention of Adrian's lingering feelings for Liesel stirred a wave of anguish within you.

Indeed, you had harbored doubts about it before as you watched with your own eyes how much Adrian loves Liesel back during the academy days. However, time with Adrian had slowly diminished those fears. His caring nature, the way he treated you as if you were something precious, had planted a tiny hope within you.

The bond you two had forged, a reliance on one another, had created a realm where only the two of you existed, without a third party. Cyrus's deduction, cutting through this carefully constructed reality, shook your very foundations.

'No, Adrian is not that kind of guy. He would never lead me on with fantasies'

You stared at Cyrus who moved closer to you, his eyes locked on yours. "So why not we let them be together, and you be with me instead?"

Tag list:

@d3sperate-enuf @sirenetheblogger @orinnie @aoiyx @chin-chii

@elsoleil @iamapotatoe @yzuposts @black-butterfly-2405

@beeskn3es @ivorette @type-ink @lol-leo

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 13 His Side Story

Chapter 13

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

"Silvio, I'd like to present you with a professional diviner, Pu."

"Could you please keep an eye on the girl who delivered the letter to you, and make sure she doesn't get entangled with any suspicious old men?"

"It would be quite troublesome if she were to be taken advantage of by an elderly man."

"I'm not particularly worried, but just as a precaution. Please don't read too much into it."

Azel: You're late.

(I can't believe I had to wait this long.)

By the time the woman returned from town, the sky had been completely painted over with the colors of night.

(At least it seems the letter I gave to Silvio wasn't for nothing.)

Since the sun began to set, I had gone outside countless times for no real reason.

Why do I have to be made to feel so anxious...?

I thrust out my hand gruffly, as if to vent my incomprehensible feelings.

(Not that I was waiting for you or anything.)

(...I was just worried whether you had properly bought the things I asked for.)

The woman correctly understood my intentions and handed me a paper bag full of items.

I took it and turned on my heel.

Azel: I don't know where you were dawdling, but next time, come back before the sun sets.

(...It's dangerous for a woman to walk alone in the desert at night.)

(That much should be obvious with a little thought.)

Emma: I'm sorry, I'll hurry up and make it.

Azel: Huh?

Emma: ...Eh?

(Make what?)

(...We didn't talk about anything like that.)

Emma: I thought you were pressuring me to hurry up and make dinner...

(...)

Azel: ...Ah, yes, that's right.

Azel: To think you would let a God go hungry, you have some nerve, you debt-ridden slave.

(Right...That's how it would seem.)

(Normally, I would have had her make dinner.)

(But why...)

(...Why did I end up not waiting for her to make it?)

The woman's puzzled face is strangely irritating.

Azel: Don't just stand there with that stupid look on your face, hurry up and make it! Make it now, I'm starving!

Emma: If you're going to talk to me like that, I'll make you a simple meal.

Azel: ...............

(This is bad...)

(How can I get out of this?)

(...I messed up.)

-

In the end, even with the wisdom of a God, I couldn't find a valid excuse to stop the woman from entering the kitchen. Caught red-handed, I was cornered.

Emma: This is...

Azel: Oh my, when did this happen?

Azel: Someone must have broken into the temple. It's a suspicious object, not fit for consumption.

Azel: Let's just feed it to the camels.

Emma: No, don't!

As I try to grab the tajine, she stops me with all her might from behind.

(Please don't stop me.)

(...Don't stop me.)

The stew simmering inside the pot was something I had made out of habit before the woman returned.

It certainly wasn't made with any intention of lessening the burden on the woman who would likely be returning tired after being bothered by that old man.

Emma: It looks delicious.

(Don't be considerate... Just stop it already.)

I'm aware that the pot is quite avant-garde, unlike the dishes the woman usually makes.

Because I threw in whole vegetables and meat, its unsightliness was exceptional.

Although I'm confident in the taste, I can hardly call it "delicious."

Azel: Are you really going to eat a suspicious object made by who-knows-who?

Emma: I know who made it.

Emma: ...Because your clothes smell like spices, Prince Azel.

(...Damn it.)

Azel: Is it just your imagination?

Emma: That's a shame. I wanted to try your cooking, Prince Azel...

Azel: You don't mean that.

Emma: I'm being serious.

Emma: Food made by someone else always tastes better than what I make myself.

Emma: To a greater or lesser extent, home cooking always has care put into it.

Faced with the avant-garde dish, the woman's expression transforms with a beautiful smile that seems to spring from the depths of her heart.

My heartbeat echoes in response, heavy and throbbing, and a wrinkle forms between my brows.

Azel: Stop it, I'm getting goosebumps.

Emma: Besides...

Emma: If you foresaw my entire day, Prince Azel, you must have known I would come home tired, right?

Emma: That's why you cooked– Ouch!

Azel: Such unsightly conceit.

I relentlessly pinch the woman's cheeks.

The desert nights should be cold, but the room feels as hot as it does during the day.

Azel: Listen, you were taking so long to come back that I got impatient and made it myself.

Azel: Before you proudly show off your pathetic deductions, first show me the sincerity of offering me a late fee.

The woman's gaze shifts from the pot to the counter.

Seeing her start to grin at the two plates placed side by side makes me want to throw her out this instant.

Emma: ...I'm sorry.

Azel: I didn't tell you to apologize. I told you to give me money.

Emma: No, not that apology, but the one from before...

Emma: When you said "come back before the sun sets," thinking about it now, maybe you were genuinely worried about me--

Emma: Ouch ouch ouch!

Azel: Why would I worry about you?

Azel: It's just inconvenient for me not to have an errand runner.

(At this point, it's just harassment. Later, I'll sue her for emotional distress and claim compensation.)

I don't think I can meet the woman's eyes for a while.

Emma: I'll p-pretend that's how it is.

(Damn...)

(Don't laugh anymore... It's unbearable, I can't stand it.)

.

.

.

Chapter 14

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[doriansquest]

dragon prince season 7 refuses to be good and I'm so disappointed

i've been putting off finishing the season since it came out and i watched the first three episodes and absolutely hated it, but i finally decided to pull off the bandaid and wow was it so much more worse than i expected. like, i didn't really expect it to be good or anything, since everything has just been going downhill since season 4, but at the very least expected a proper conclusion, but nope, they couldn't even end the show in the finale.

this show just refuses to take the least logical path to the conclusion all the fucking time. like did there need to be so much subversion? follow through on your obvious foreshadowing. let callum be possessed by aaravos after he uses dark magic. that was set up all the way back in season 4. is he good? is he any different than as viren and claudia now, if he's willing to do the wrong thing for the greater good ("however dangerous, however vile")? hell, force rayla to reckon with that difficult choice. put her in the same situation she was in the pilot; is she willing to kill for the greater good, especially now when the stakes are so much higher and the victim is the love of her life?

let claudia kill terry and/or soren. that was bound to happen, she's far past the point of redemption now, she revived aaravos. stop tiptoeing around it. ("i'm still nice! i'm still me" what the fuck, no you're not. you made that decision ages ago, hell when you chose viren over soren all the way back in season 3). arguably, terry, as much as i love him, should have died all the way back in season 5, when viren was revived. it would have cemented claudia's conversion completed to aaravos if there was absolutely no one who loved her around anymore.

and for god's sake, don't try to make your main villain with absolutely no redeeming qualities sympathetic. don't give him a fucking daughter. not every villain is made to be redeemable, they can be just be evil! that's what i loved about aaravos. viren was morally grey from the start, but aaravos was always the dark voice whispering in his ear. he was conniving, manipulative, a force of pure evil! there was absolutely no reason to reduce him to this stupid thing that's so easy to defeat. why was it the dragons that killed him? why not the protagonists of the series instead of some side characters who haven't been in the story for multiple seasons?

like, there is no reason to constantly be adding new plot points? you can take a predictable solution. hell, it should be done in a final season. a story can still be interesting even if it's not the most twisty turvy thing in the world. it would have been so satisfying if the finale went exactly as expected: callum uses dark magic, gets possessed by aaravos and has to fight him out of his head while the other characters have to decide whether to hurt callum or risk aaravos escaping or whatever. we did not need the unicorns, nor the new archdragons, nor the fucking godforsaken sun elf plotline that never connected back to the main plot (and absolutely wasted amaya as a character). and we did not need evyrkind, nor bird harrow who never bothered to contact his sons, nor the seven fucking years. it was so easy to make a satisfying conclusion. why the fuck did the writers decide to take this route?

i don't know, i feel like i've put so much of my investment into this show for the past six years and somehow they manage to fumble it over and over again since season 4, and i keep telling myself that it's going to improve, that they're setting up something good, and they just don't, over and over for seasons. if you somehow enjoyed this season, please explain to me why. i want something good out of the time i spent.