#why not have it be complete chaos

[ganondoodle]

c o r e

[ingravinoveritas]

Following up on this excellent post from @nightgoodomens, it really is astonishing to see so many people in the GO fandom misunderstanding the characters/personalities of Aziraphale and Crowley. While I by no means am against people having head canons or differing interpretations, it has become frustrating to see people pushing their ideas about Aziraphale and Crowley onto others and declaring them to be official canon, leaving no room for any kind of discussion.

One of the things spoken about in the above linked post is the denigrating of Crowley, which seems to be a near constant in the fandom at this point, particularly in relation to the "apology dance" scene. (Which, to be fair, is chock full of soft!Dom Aziraphale vibes--thank you, Michael Sheen.) What seems to keep getting missed is that the entire apology dance routine is something that Aziraphale and Crowley do to each other. There is just as much of a possibility that Crowley sat there with a similarly smug look on his face and let out a guttural, snakey "Very nice" when Aziraphale did the dance in the years he listed off, because they play this game together.

Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship is one of equals, and I think this is also something people seem to not understand well. It seems as though a lot of fans who project themselves onto Crowley want to be taken care of, and so they want to believe the same of Crowley, and that the reason he wants to be taken care of is because he is broken. But someone doesn't have to be broken to want someone to take care of them. Sometimes the people who are a shambles on the outside can be dominant, just as sometimes the most buttoned up, put together people can also be submissive. And sometimes the people who look in control on the outside can feel not at all that way on the inside.

But this nuanced thinking seems to increasingly be difficult for many GO fans, particularly those who spend a great deal of time on social media, a place where people are either blindly praised or denigrated and torn down, and where such behavior greatly reinforces that binary, black-and-white mindset. We so badly want the world to be clear-cut--good vs. evil, heroes vs. bad guys--but very often that just isn't how things work. And it is exactly what Terry and Neil were trying to speak against in the GO book (and subsequently, the TV show).

The other thing that I think influences a lot of fans' perceptions about Aziraphale and Crowley is their chosen corporations (i.e., Crowley being thin and Aziraphale being plump). There is an automatic assumption that thin somehow equals more vulnerable, and for all of the emphasis that is placed on Aziraphale and Crowley being genderfluid/nonbinary/not subscribing to traditional gender roles, it's Crowley who seems to be viewed as more androgynous/femme, and is therefore looked at as inherently vulnerable. Meanwhile Aziraphale is thicker and viewed as more masculine, and therefore he is somehow inherently not vulnerable. Yet if the body types were reversed, it seems highly likely that fans' attitudes toward them would be much different.

(It also saddens me that this seems to mirror the fans' treatment of Michael and David, where Michael serves as a target for the fans' venom and is seen as less desirable/more threatening because he presents more traditionally masculine, while David is not targeted or attacked and is seen as more desirable/less threatening because he presents much more androgynously. Consequently, many fans find it easy not to sympathize with Michael, and when you can readily disregard someone's feelings, it becomes easier to see them as "less." In the case of Aziraphale and Michael, it leaves no room for either one to be vulnerable and is unfair to both of them.)

What I have always taken away from Good Omens--and from Michael and David's portrayal of Aziraphale and Crowley and how deeply they both understand these characters--is that Crowley doesn't need to be a perfect angel for Aziraphale to like him. He just needs to be a little bit of a good person. And Aziraphale doesn't need to be a perfect demon for Crowley to like him--he just needs to be enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. Neither one has to fully subscribe to the other's outlook or point of view to listen to what they have to say.

Aziraphale and Crowley meet in the middle. In the place that becomes their side, and where they take care of each other, fight with each other, and love each other. And that's more than most of us could ever ask or hope for...

[mewkwota]

I am continuing my current Xeno-train of thought with learning another character, this time it's my favorite male character, chaos.

I feel like I got him down pat with his Episode I look because it's just absolutely perfect, but everything else I was experimenting more with his range in expression as the later games fiddled around with that... As in, I will not forgive what they did to him in Episode II. :(

The ahoge is the last remaining source of his powers (and feelings).

Otherwise I mean for his face to look the face with each design.

[deiaiko]

#21 - Wall

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[lunalikestowriteanddraw]

I need to point something out about the Krew’s conversation with Torbek in episode 19.

Kremy—a man who likes to keep up appearances and appear larger than life, who relies on his silver tongue to spin his words into lies and half-truths—let himself appear as vulnerable to Torbek as Torbek was after the fight.

Because Kremy took off his coat and his tie (Richie made a point to both say that and make the motions as he was describing what Kremy was doing), before getting on Torbek’s level and seeing if there was anything on Torbek’s person that could explain what just happened, before noticing everything else that was off.

Kremy taking off his coat and tie is actually kinda significant, considering that shortly after, he (eventually) agrees to tell Torbek the truth about what happened, and even willingly spoke up to fill in what Gricko was missing in his explanation. Kremy was, metaphorically, letting his walls down and letting Torbek see him in a way that I imagine even Frost and Gricko rarely see (maybe outside of sleeping or bathing).

I mean, of course, Kremy immediately puts his walls back up the following day, and then acts like he is somehow above Torbek for the remainder of the season (which I hope he cuts it out early S2), but…it’s a step. It’s a step in the right direction for Kremy’s arc, and I can’t believe I didn’t even take too much of a notice in this—or anything the gator did—until I started rewatching the series and genuinely started looking into Kremy’s character more.

And of course Kremy’s whole interaction with Torbek this episode isn’t the only significant one, and i promise I’m not ignoring the others (in fact, I’m actually quite interested in the way Frost handled the combat, as well as the way he separated himself from Torbek afterwards, and it will be making me pay extra close attention to Frost for the next few episodes), I just…don’t hear a lot about Kremy in particular this episode.

[morethanwonderful]

Out of all of Wei Wuxian's traits, one of the ones that fascinates me the most is how incredibly casual and chummy he is with corpses. All the other cultivators are a bit desensitized to the dead by nature of their profession, yes, but Wei Wuxian in particular treats the dead very much the same as he treats living people, and I think it's simultaneously one of his best and most concerning attributes.

On the good side, the way Wei Wuxian treats the dead is absolutely an extension of his overall goodness and empathy. He stands on the side of those that are looked down on, and nobody faces more discrimination that the dead. He treats the dead like people because they are people, and they deserve to have their voices heard. That's what Empathy's for, and that's why he revives Wen Ning to stand as witness to his own murder. Wen Ning is not a thing! And even when Wei Wuxian is raising armies of dead Wens to fight on his behalf, we get illustrations of him giving a helping hand to a weak old corpse that can't stand on its own.

Wei Wuxian is painted in very deliberate contrast to Xue Yang, who treats the dead as tools and deprives them of agency. His closeness with them is a symbol of his kindness.

However, beyond treating the dead decently and like people, there is a point where his chumminess with them starts to get unsettling, and that's the point where it becomes a reflection of his loneliness and trauma. In particular, I'm thinking of his cuddliness with the ghosts he uses to torture Wen Chao and the corpse girls he's hanging out with when he invites Lan Zhan to drink with him. Because treating the dead with respect is a very different thing from having a corpse lay in your lap as you stroke its hair. And fierce corpses by definition do not have personalities (with Wen Ning as the exception that proves the rule), so treating them as companions to socialize with is rather concerning behavior.

So why is he like this? Isolation and trauma!

It's easy to understate the trauma of Wei Wuxian's three months in the Burial Mound, especially given that we don't see them play out but do get details about so many other horrible moments. But those three months? They Fucked Him Up. In particular, beyond the trauma of the near death experience (or presumably many many near death experiences in a row), he spent the better part of three months without seeing a single other living human. People are not meant to do that.

So what is a person gonna do when he spends three months in Worse Solitary Confinement? And when that solitude is spent on Fierce Corpse Mountain? He's gonna get really weird about corpses. He's gonna turn into the kind of man that would let a murderous ghost he's controlling lay in his lap as he strokes her hair, because for an extended period of time, that is the closest thing to human contact he's had access to.

And later, post-sunshot-campaign, Wei Wuxian does regain access to living humans and society, but he's still incredibly isolated. Just about everyone besides his siblings and Lan Zhan hates and/or is scared of him by the time we hit the scene of him and the fierce corpse girls throwing flowers, so it's no wonder he's hanging out with dead people. He already picked up the habit of replacing company with corpses once, so of course he doesn't see anything wrong with it. Maybe they're there as bodyguards, maybe he's just extremely lonely and doesn't have any human companions to drink with him, or maybe (probably) it's a mix of both. But in any case, it's a pretty clear expression of a horrifying degree of both past and present isolation.

That's why, though he doesn't lose his respect for the dead or his desensitization to touching corpses, we never see him just Hanging Out With Mindless Ghosts in his second life. It's a substitute for real companionship, not a healthy behavior, but lack of company is no longer an issue he has after being resurrected.

He doesn't need an entourage of corpse girls, because this time, when he wants company, he's always got Lan Zhan.

[bunisher]

might be the aro in me but i think one of the reasons i don’t ship mattfoggy is because i enjoy the idea of platonic intimacy and friendship without romance. i enjoy them as best friends, because their friendship is not any less than romantic love or needs to be. especially for characters like them, i think it’s important that they have friendships that are not inherently romantic. matt, because he has severe abandonment trauma and avoidant attachment, where all of his romances have ended in some form of tragedy. he has trouble feeling comfortable with people, he feels like he has to perform in many aspects, and does not with foggy, at least not anymore. trust is a hard earned thing with him, but it’s not just about trusting with being a hero, but trusting to be himself. in regards to foggy, because he also has his own issues regarding family and not feeling accepted. he needs that friend who provides the motivation, validation, and feeling of being good enough just for being him. his insecurities often come from being underestimated, being awkward, not fitting in, and with matt he can just be. they’re able to have a relationship with each other that has rupture and repair, knowing eventually after time it’s them against conflict and not them against each other. they set the standard for each other in how romantic relationships are. they provide that safe place for love that doesn’t have the weight of being someone’s everything or partner. they’re already partners! they’re best friends. i personally am a little in love with all of my friends, and i am utterly devoted to them. i will be affectionate and supportive and loving and i am not dating them. so yeah i see how stuff could be read romantic, i understand why people enjoy the ship, i get it, i do. but it’s more powerful to me when it’s not. romance is not the end all be all and that’s why i am obsessed with their friendship without it being this stepping stone for romance or there being no other explanation.

[themuseoftheviolets]

the themes in a book/movie/show are meant to be discussed. they're meant to be analysed and thought about. i really don't get the people that comment 'thats the point tho' on posts that are analyzing the themes of something. like yes? it is the point which is why i'm talking about it

[starredforlife]

oh I am not a fan of the hades 2 designs lol

[flamingredanon]

Sadness and Madness

[risingsunresistance]

also sorry for the absolute radio silence but i have just had nothing interesting to say. been on the grind. mining update was so good for my soul I Love Mining

been doing some off camera mining

[mireyaaaaaaaaa]

Grover's consensus is stuck in my head😭

[live-laugh-lenney]

anyone wanna do the honours and phone in sick for me so i can stay home and stay in my fictional arthurtv world and not go to work?

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

'moogle, how do you write your first drafts?' i write them on evil mode: every current prose draft in the same document at once

[onesaltyerik]

Mother: I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for a breakfast!

Me: cool, thanks! (expects her to arrive at around 8-9am)

Mother: (6am, two hours after I fell asleep) I'm here! Let's get breakfast! (Nothing is open except the gas station.)

(She doesn't want to go in. She's tired. Like genuinely this woman has not slept in what looks like days. She doesn't want to eat anything either because her 'blood sugar is too high'. I offer her my blood sugar medications so she can eat something {we take the same stuff at the same dose} she says no. I go in and buy my own birthday breakfast from the gas station. I buy sibling's breakfast as well since they had no idea what the plan was and were kinda dragged along and thought that mom would buy them breakfast so they didn't bring their money.) Me:..............I'm giving you the bill for the kiddo. Mom: why? Me: (why do you think?!)

(We get back to my place. She insists I try on the clothes she brought for me. She does not want to go inside the house. I have to try on the clothes in the car. Patience is fading, social battery non existent, my mornings meds have not kicked in. I finish trying on the clothes and tell her I'm going to bring them inside. She wants the plastic bag back? The one she brought them in? Because it's expensive? Said bag has a broken zip and will not close. I do not understand. I take kiddo with me to my house and tell mom to nap in the car. She does not want to. NOW, she wants to go in the house with me. I have roomates who are still asleep. It's only 7am now. I am only going to take kiddo with me cause I know they know my roomates well enough to be okay with them suddenly showing up. I insist she takes a nap and that I will bring her some coffee. She says it will make her blood sugar go up. I tell her I will bring her coffee with no sugar or milk. She still insists it will make her blood sugar go up. I offer her my medicine once more, she says she's allergic. {?} I take kiddo inside with me. I'm not dealing with this at this hour of the morning.)

(Kiddo spills the fuckin TEA, mother is definitely losing it and did not tell kiddo about the morning plans. Did not tell kiddo about them being invited to breakfast and just dragged them along. Had told kiddo to be the one to call me to wake me up because "he's grumpy when he wakes up and I don't want to be the one to be snapped at". Dude. Dude what? Kiddo tells that both mom and dad are now fully diabetic. And refuse to take any medications for it. Or regulate anything themselves. Cool. Great. {sarcasm}.)

(Kiddo and I hang out with the one roomate who is awake and put new clothes away, got some sick hunting shirts from grandpa with awesome deer and elk printed onto them. And some woven wool coats. The three of us eat our gas station breakfast and coffee and talk about kiddo's new fav book that is incredibly gay and hell yeah good for them! We talk about anime we both like, stories about how we made friends in preschool-gradeschool-middeschool and how it sucks to be an adult {kiddo just turned 18 and adulthood punched them in the face and they hate it and I don't blame them}. I tell kiddo they are more than welcome to come live with me if mom and dad are too much to deal with. Group hug. Kiddo goes home with mom once mom has finished her supposed nap. {I don't think she actually slept in the car, I don't think she slept at all.})

So that was my birthday morning. Woooo. I guess.

[drafariu]

Have some chaos zero doodle I did when I really should have gone to bed.