#why not go for someone ultimately useless to the plot

[prettyboysmlm]

wait nO QUINCY-

[cinnabeat]

re:mind costs 30 fucking dollars............

[ccieatchildren]

I’m sure we’ve all seen by now Steve Blackman’s reasoning for Five/Lila stating:

“I felt that Five had to have a love story.”

And how it shows how this man somehow has such a deep fundamental misunderstanding about his own characters. How he helped create the first three seasons of this show and doesn’t realize that

This is Five’s love story.

Umbrella Academy the show wouldn’t exist without Five’s love. The whole plot and story is it.

He is the catalyst of all the plot lines while his family is the center of all the story beats. His love is the instigator for all the events of the show simply because he chooses to do everything possible in the hope that it will save his loves.

It’s not like this was even a subtle idea because Five literally states it himself multiple times over the series!

I just don’t understand how you can get it so wrong.

He creates the Commission in hopes of regulating the timeline so his family won’t get obliterated from existence, tattooing himself with the potential solution to rewriting the universe so they can all live happily one day.

He survives the apocalypse all on his own, when there was no real reason to, just because he believed he could get back to his family, spending 50+ years developing the math to one day do so.

He joins the Commission and murders and maims and manipulates in the desperate attempt that he might have a chance to go back and see/save his family.

He spends the first time he sees his family after over six decades not with them, but rather searching for a way to stop their deaths, sending them all through time when it doesn’t work.

He runs himself ragged stopping apocalypse after apocalypse just for them.

And when he loses all hope, accepting the kugelblitz, he is content to know he is doing so with his family.

As much as this show is about the whole family, ultimately, imo, this is Five’s story about his grueling quest to save the family he loves.

Because otherwise this show wouldn’t exist without him and the rest of the characters would just be decorations in the rubble of a world long gone.

So to say bro needed a love story— he doesn't say romance, but love story— is so durna, like what??? I guess if you really wanted him to have a romance you could do that, but there were many better options than the wife of someone he deeply loves, something he would never do.

(Not to mention all the real world implications of the romance with the actors, production really was waiting for him to be legal ಠ_ಠ)

Also I don’t think it’s a coincidence that many fans view Five somewhere under the aro/ace umbrella (pun intended).

Now, because of this misconstruction the ending of the show also suffers.

Brushing over all the mind boggling things the real ending says about abuse, its victims, and growing from it (which is actually like how did no one look at that and think hmm maybe this isn’t right for the story we’ve been telling), it also misunderstands love. It tells the audience that love isn’t worth it, in a show… about love. Not just Five’s but Hazel/Agnes, Viktor/Sissy, Allison+Claire, and more. How all your pain and suffering and tribulations for those you love are stupid and useless and cringe.

But y’know what, Mr. Blackman, I think you’re cringe for that absolute bonkers bananas ending.

And that’s why having the solution to the series being that Five should have never jumped in the first place would have been the best ending.

Making it so that the only solution to save the whole universe be that Five stay with his family, with those he loved— what he had been trying to do for the whole show— would have been the perfect conclusion to the story. It would show that all he had to do was stay, because that’s all they ever needed, that’s all he ever needed.

AND IT WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.

Five and Viktor are well confirmed to have been the closest ever since they were young. And Five (doesn’t matter if he’s the now Five who lived through the shows events or the young one who ran off) would most certainly be a supportive figure in Viktor’s life. He’s smart, for one, and it wouldn’t be a stretch for him to figure out what was really going on (especially with his hatred of Reginald) and help Viktor that way. But even if he doesn’t, when they grow to adults and Viktor naturally doesn’t take his pills or his power starts showing, Five’s love and care for his (closest) brother would most certainly help prevent the apocalypse. Especially since if Five and Viktor are close, as they grow older, I feel like the others would grow closer as well, maybe not the same degree, but they would be more willing and supportive of Viktor in the end (I feel like Season 1 shows us how at the end of the day the siblings do care for Viktor, but they were just too late, so this time they wouldn’t be).

Through the subway we see the timeline where he jumps still exists, so that should mean there is a way for him not to do that. His jumping (and the siblings he brings along) is what creates the paradoxes and the "need" for the Commission. So by him not jumping, problem solved.

This might come at the cost of the current versions of the characters, but I think if they can make the developmental journeys they did once, I think they can do it again, and have a happy ending.

(Also the Jennifer incident wouldn’t happen either bcs of Five or just bcs that plot line was so fluffin stupid, so yay alive Ben)

(And Diego and Luther meet Lila and Sloane respectively cuz they are also part of the marigold brood so they still do exist at the same time, so yay happy couples)

It is somewhat simple, but I think that works as well, especially for a character like Five. He spends so much time looking at all the different equations, trying to find some complex solution to everything, trying permutation after permutation (as evidenced by our and the diner Five's), when it was right in front of him. Idk, I just think it would be nice if he just decided to stay with his siblings instead of running off.

Sure it may not be completely perfect, maybe Ben still does die, or Klaus can’t meet Dave again, or characters still find themselves prey to their arrogance but I don’t think it needs to be, because real life isn’t perfect. But the bonds we make and the love we share makes it so, a major theme the Umbrella Academy isn't unfamiliar with.

And it just makes me so deeply sad that this isn’t the ending we got. That this isn’t the ending the characters got.

They deserve so much better than Blackman gave them, and it’s a disgrace that he didn’t.

[sadiestarrs]

It Always Resurfaces

Warnings: just a bit of swearing, use of y/n like twice, mentions of drinking, mentions of sex, hurt no comfort

A/N: tried to redeem myself after that other ellie fix because i absolutely hate it anyways this is probably gonna be a series

Plot: you found ellie cheating at a party and a month later you see her again

Word count: 1,700

Part one??

be with whoever you want

i don’t care, i don’t care

The blaring lights of the party you were at made your head start to hurt. Not to mention all the people crowding around, the heat from the dozens of bodies moving across the room.

Ellie had said she was going to get a drink, 15 minutes ago. She must have gotten lost because it couldn’t have taken that long.

You awkwardly stumble in between all the people, making your way to the kitchen. It was less busy but there were still groups of friends standing around. A bad feeling already settled down in your stomach, almost as if your gut was telling you to turn around and leave immediately.

Just as you step in, you see Ellie standing with a girl, a smile plastered on her face. Their conversation is muffled but you make out most of it.

“I mean, I was just looking for a drink but I think I found something better.”

She places a hand on the girl’s waist, pulling her closer. They stare at each other for a while, everything pausing.

She wouldn’t.

The girl reaches upwards, wrapping her arms around Ellie’s neck and kissing her, you nearly fall backwards, the weight of the world seeming to crush you.

You have to stop yourself from letting out a gut-wrenching sob, deep in your soul. How could she? What the fuck happened in fifteen minutes to make her forget about you so quickly?

Before you realise what you’re doing, you find yourself walking out of the party, trying to get away from everything. It was the middle of August but somehow you were so cold, desperately trying to calm yourself down.

You called an Uber, not bothering to leave a message about why you were leaving. Out of all of the things Ellie could do, cheating on you was the last thing you could’ve thought.

She couldn’t even be bothered to hide it, blatantly kissing someone in the middle of a party you were at. It all seemed fake. You just willed yourself to wake up and find out that this was just some sick joke.

No matter what you did, the scene played through in your mind, a never-ending loop.

I think I found something better.

~

It had been four weeks since the party. The first few days went quickly, you didn’t think of her much, mainly at night when it was colder and lonely. But like many things, you had to push through it. You couldn’t let her dictate everything in your life.

After a week you started to think more. How long would it be until you talked again? No, you couldn’t fail so easily. You had to show restraint.

Evenings had become the worst time, being alone with just your thoughts and a very depressing music taste with only songs about being heartbroken and left behind. Not even your favourite shows could distract you. Everything reminded you of her, every shade of green like her eyes, sarcastic jokes making you remember the same ones she made.

Ellie wasn’t holding up well either, going to any and every party she was invited to in hopes of seeing you but ultimately being disappointed when you didn’t show up and ending the night with a temporary fling, trying to fill the hole you left. Nothing worked. It was only until her friends reminded her that you had left that she realised.

They explained to her that you had seen them and that you needed a break.

It became useless to leave her apartment anymore. She didn’t eat, didn’t sleep. Not that she wanted to. She was just—there.

Dina had noticed Ellie’s lack of enthusiasm and started dragging her outside whenever she could, making sure that she was taking care of herself and being healthy. Other than you, Dina was the only person who took an interest in Ellie and eventually they saw eye-to-eye. It was gradual but the feelings were mutual, both of them having similar interests.

You started seeing other people too, none of them making you feel the same way, however. It was enough to rely on but you weren’t committed. Maybe some of Ellie’s traits were rubbing off of you.

“You okay?”

You’re caught off guard by the person accompanying you. She was a sufficient person, kind, and caring, but she cared a little too much.

It really didn’t make sense how you were annoyed at her checking up on you but cried when Ellie would leave for days at a time. Hell, you had even forgotten her name.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” You pick up a pack of grapes instinctively without realising that Ellie was the one who ate them when you bought them.

“Are you sure? You’ve been acting weird all day.” She comes up to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m fine,” you snap, leaving the basket and walking to another aisle.

Did she deserve that? No, not at all but a month had been the longest you’ve gone without seeing Ellie. Before that, it was 3 days, mainly because the urge to fuck someone became too annoying to ignore.

You angrily walk up and down the dairy aisle, thinking about everything. Did she not want you anymore? Surely a month was enough time to heal and forget everything? If you guys were going to get back together it would have happened a while ago. Maybe this was it?

As if she knew you were thinking about her, she turns down the aisle, stopping when she sees you. You can see her contemplate whether or not turning around would be a good idea but she takes a deep breath, inching closer.

She looked the same, her shoulders slightly slumped when she came towards you. What did she have to say now?

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

That was it. After a month of not seeing each other that’s all you had to say.

“How are you?” She asks, breaking the silence and sticking her hands in the pockets of her hoodie.

“I’m good, you?”

She just nods, “I’m fine as well.”

You both stand awkwardly, the freezing temperature of the fridges finally hitting you. Another person walks behind El.

“I was thinking about making pasta tonight. How does that sound?”

Ellie looks up at you before turning back, “That sounds great, um, this is y/n, Dina.”

Dina? Did she find someone else so quickly? How could she do that? It wasn’t even the girl at the party.

“Oh cool, how’d you know Ellie?”

“We were friends a while ago,” you say, holding your arms to your chest, withholding the truth. It was clearly not a good idea to spill all the messy details of your semi-relationship.

You say goodbye and walk away as fast as you could, tears trying to force out of your eyes. God, you were so stupid. Of course, she found someone else. Did you expect her to wait years? It was over now.

You wanted to feel relieved, happy that you could move on now but all you felt was pain, deep down in your soul, past your heart.

“I’m outside.”

You walk past your “partner”, telling her that you would wait in the parking lot, away from anyone. It was all too much. How could everything change in a matter of seconds like that?

Sitting on the edge of the pavement, you think about the first time you met Ellie. It was a party, one of your friend’s birthdays or something. She spotted you by yourself, standing in a corner after you caught your girlfriend cheating, again. It didn’t take much for you to go back to her apartment and spend the night and eventually, it became regular.

It was almost funny how you got cheated on twice, like history repeating itself. When it happened the first time you promised yourself that it wouldn't happen again but you got played.

Ellie didn’t make it feel meaningless, she cared. But she never showed it, the most affection she displayed was kissing your neck or hand and that was it.

When she walks out of the grocery store you see her place a hand on Dina’s face, bringing her lips close and actually kissing her. Properly. It nearly made you sob. The way she closed her eyes and helped with bags. Why couldn’t she do that with you?

They walk up to their car before El looks back at you and tells Dina to wait. Walking considerably slowly, she stands in front of you.

“So, what are you doing now?”

“It’s only been a month, El, nothing has changed.”

She sits down, still keeping a few inches between the two of you. “You don’t look okay.”

“How can you tell? You were never around to care about me.”

Humming in agreement, she sighs, going silent for a while. The silence isn’t comforting or uneasy, it was just silence. No one said anything. After about three minutes, she stands up again, not looking at you.

“I hope you know that I didn’t mean for it to end like that.”

You nod, trying to get her to make eye contact but it doesn’t happen. She didn’t mean for it to end like that. It? So she was aware of the way things ended but chose to say nothing.

You couldn’t stand even if you wanted to, it hurt too much. From their car you see Dina point towards you and Ellie shakes her head. She then responds by basically making out with her, basically having a front-row view, seeing everything through the windshield.

“Hey, I was looking for you, are you sure you’re okay?” The girl you were with comes out, holding a few bags.

“It’s over, I can’t even remember your fucking name let alone why I even agreed to be with you.”

You walk off before you can see her reaction. It felt bad, of course, but it was true.

Ellie remembered drinking herself to sleep when you weren’t there. The drowning in her chest, the look on your face when you closed the door after getting your stuff from her apartment, tattooed on her eyelids, a constant reminder of the hurt she caused.

[writeforfandoms]

Waking Lions 6

Find the series masterlist

Not much Price in this chapter, sorry. But! This is an important set up chapter that will get us to more John. Also it’s plot relevant. I swear this story is going somewhere, and I even know where it’s going! 

Warnings: Swearing, spy shit, canon-typical villains

Word count: 1.2k

Jacob Keyes had a nice house in Montana on some property with a wife and two kids. Disgustingly American, really. 

Jacob Keyes also had information on the whereabouts of General Shepherd. Financial records showed deposits and transfers that didn’t link up with his normal pay. 

So you just had to decide how to get to him. Which was not your strong suit. You liked other people doing the legwork and you just… compiled it all. 

But sometimes, needs must.

So you flew out to Montana. You weren’t planning anything nefarious, or even really illegal. You just pretended to be someone’s cousin visiting from out of state, and sat in the local diner long enough to hear all the gossip. Most of it you filtered out, uncaring about who had been caught in someone else’s bed, and who hadn’t made it to church last Sunday, and did you hear about that child? Shameful, really. All of that, you filtered out, ignored, shoved down.

The gold was in the tidbits of information about the Keyes family. How they’d suddenly had more money, were able to make repairs to the house that had gone ignored for years. How the husband had a fancier car, but spent stretches of time away from home. And did you hear about that houseguest? He’d only stayed a few days, but really, the manners on him! Proper gentleman, he was. (This had been accompanied by no small amount of tittering, which you found irritating and useless.) 

But further digging into his finances (after you greased some wheels) was… confusing. 

There were two sets of deposits. 

This was beginning to feel above your paygrade. 

One of the two sets of deposits was traceable back to an associate of Shepherd, rather than the general himself. Which didn’t surprise you. But it was good evidence for Laswell, and you dutifully compiled it with the rest. 

But the other. The other was confusing. 

That trail led you on a bit of a goose chase. The initial transfer was from a dummy corporation, but that was a front for an off-shore account that was linked back to another dummy company that linked back to a Russian company. 

Because you were capable of running two investigations at once, you continued to track Keyes and investigate the Russian company. 

Keyes was boring. That was your ultimate decision on him. Boring, but also potentially valuable for Laswell. You dropped by her house to leave her the USB with the information you’d gathered (and a bouquet of flowers) before you continued on over to France. 

Why France? Why not France? The countryside was beautiful, the food was good, and as long as you avoided Paris it didn’t smell bad. 

Plus you got to buy some pretty things for Sergio’s girls. You had a feeling you’d be calling him up for information. 

The Russian company bled into another Russian operation, although this one was military-oriented. And scary. You backed off from them quickly, but kept track of what information you already had.

Including a name. Normally you wouldn’t do this, but… You had a feeling that this was going to be important. 

A call to Sergio got you a dinner appointment in a few days, as he promised to look into some things on his side. You were prepared for him to try to hold the information over your head, try to use it to get you to stay with him again.

You were not expecting him to show up twenty minutes late to dinner, grim-faced. 

“You should not be looking into this,” he said as he sat down, so unlike his normal self that you just blinked dumbly at him. 

“I’m sorry?”

“This company. You should ignore it.” Sergio set his jaw stubbornly. “Forget you ever saw it.”

You blinked rapidly, and then attempted a smile. “Surely it can’t be that bad…?” 

His lip curled in a little sneer. “It is worse,” he answered, flat and short. “I will not help you with this.”

“Well.” You leaned back in your chair slowly, mind racing. “If it’s that bad, I won’t look into it any further.” 

His shoulders relaxed a little. “Good. I like you alive.” A hint of his normal humor showed through.

But you were a little distracted the rest of dinner, playing your part but begging off going home with him, simply passing your gifts along for the girls. 

Because if Sergio wasn’t going to give you the information, you needed someone else to do it. And for him to be that scared, that harsh about refusing you? It was bad, whatever it was. 

Which meant you needed to know. Immediately. 

After you got back to your hotel room, you called up a couple of your darker contacts. The ones you tended not to use unless you were looking to burn a bridge and pay for it. 

One of them got back to you twelve hours later, giving you a name and a warning and nothing else. 

Ultranationalist. Stay the fuck away. 

You paid them well for their information, and removed them from your list. Bridge burned, but… you had your information. 

You did not stay the fuck away.

Instead you started very carefully sniffing around, because this? This was the kind of thing that could potentially blow the world to hell in a handbasket.  

Honestly, you were debating just shoving whatever information you had at Laswell and letting her handle it. 

But nobody had started shooting at you yet. So. 

Further down the rabbit hole you went. 

It took you a long time to track down people to help. Some of your normal contacts would help, but not many of them. A few in munitions and weapons, two in shipping and warehousing. That was it. The rest stayed well away from terrorist groups. (Which you probably should have done too, but, well. You were a bit stubborn.) 

But you were making progress, the little spiral notebook you were keeping notes in slowly filling up. No names, still, at least not if it could be helped. But locations. Movements. Purchases. 

You finally found out why Sergio had advised you to run when you discovered the link between the Russians and Al-Qatala.

This was absolutely now above your level of expertise. You should just dump this all on Laswell and walk away. You should. You needed to.

…After you got one last piece of information for her. You’d found someone who knew someone who knew someone in the group, and you wanted to pick his brain. He was willing, and had already named a price. The both of you had agreed on a meeting spot via independent intermediary. 

You had a flight to Ireland in a few hours, but you couldn’t settle. There was an itching under your skin that you couldn’t shake, some long-instilled paranoia reminding you how unprotected you were. 

So you got to the airport early, taking your time finding your gate and getting a coffee to soothe your nerves. 

If Laswell knew you were doing this, she’d probably tell you to stop, to back off. She had people to handle this stuff, the more dangerous stuff. 

Fortunately she wasn’t the boss of you, and you hadn’t been dependent on her in a long time. 

Your boarding group was called over the intercom, and you picked up your carry on. Time to go.

[sm-writes-chaos]

I’m going to complain about Descendants rise of red because I’m so disappointed and frustrated with the writing and I need to talk about some of it. This will probably make no sense if you haven’t seen it. (It just came out today and it’s already the worst.)

Long Rant incoming

There's a lot of movies that are bad.
Usually because it's just not good, or it's 'meh', or not original or creative enough. 
But this, Descendants Rise of Red was DOWNRIGHT TERRIBLE. (NO IM NOT EXAGGERATING)


They didn't just not try, they didn't bother to put ONE SINGLE BRAIN CELL in it.
Everything down to the music, story, costumes, hair etc. 
But I'm not even going to touch on that because those are whole other cans of worms. I'm going to dig into the story can of worms because I'm more knowledgeable on that.

First of all the pacing was nonexistent. 
The beginning was messy and unfocusing, the middle was building up to many possible scenes but ultimately was proved useless by the anticlimactic and too quick ending.

They built up to settings and scenes like Castlecoming, but never showed it because the conflict was resolved before it could even happen.

Characters were wasted by being merely name drops and things to point out like 'oh look it's the young version of the character we know from when descendants at least had descent plot progression!'

And the character, oh the characters...it's a travesty.

(The plot is that the queen of hearts has taken over Auradon and her daughter and Cinderella’s daughter go back in time to stop it, back to a time before the queen of hearts become evil because she was pranked once.)

They build up (again!) a big horrible thing that happened to the Queen of Hearts and then don't even reveal it in an exciting way. Revealing it in two lines of dialogue almost at the very beginning. And it wasn't even that terrible, it's not enough to explain how her personality took a COMPLETE 180.

If they revealed later that there was more to it, then that reveal would've been fine! But they didn't!!

Bridget (the queen of hearts) mentioned she was homeschooled, as her daughter also is, so maybe there's some generational trauma there. But they never mention it again! They could've included the queen of hearts mom to explain her sudden shift in behavior but no, public humiliation is enough to MAKE SOMEONE BECOME A DICTATOR OBSESSED WITH CHOPPING OFF PEOPLES HEADS.

I thought maybe betrayal from a loved one would've been enough because she CONSTANTLY reiterates that 'love ain't it.' But guess what, NO.

It was an established bully that caused her public humiliation, when it would've made more sense for Cinderella to be the one to have been part of the prank because they were close. (A friendship they hardly bother to show by the way.)

And speaking of Cinderella, at first I didn't understand why we were choosing to focus on her abuse and why it was such a shock to HER DAUGHTER. Wouldn't she have told her??

But never mind that, it was shown and focused on because her daughter Chloe had to learn that everything isn't black and white. That bad things happen to good people and that good people don't always follow the rules.

A MINDSET THAT WAS NEVER PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED BY THE WAY

So I was very confused until another terrible song made me realize that's what they were trying to do, a very shoehorned in lesson.

Then there's the biggest plot hole to EVER PLOT HOLE.

They find out the bully gang is going to turn Bridget (the queen of hearts) into a monster during the dance (Castlecoming, which we never get to see!), using a spell from the 'Sorcerers Cookbook.'

They never explain that the bully gang is going to steal that cookbook because during (another terrible!) song they see the recipe, so I thought they already had it!

But when they steal the cookbook it curses them because it's 'in the wrong hands.' SO HOW DID THEY EVER USE THE COOKBOOK TO PRANK BRIDGET IN THE FIRST PLACE IF THE BOOK IS ENCHANTED???!?????

I thought this was going to be a plot twist where it turns out the bullies aren't actually the ones who pull the prank. No. Nope. Not at all.

It all ends there and every conflict is resolved and it ends with a reprise of another terrible song!

CAN YOU SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MOVIE?

(There's so many more terrible writing choices but I can't think to think another second about this movie.)

Actually never mind I have more

JUST. JUST SHOW THE FRICKING DANCE. Have the prank happen, have them see it. Have us learn why it specifically affects Bridget so much and have Cinderella be involved in the prank. (Or the head of it, why not.)

Bridget had planned a ‘signature dance’ for the dance, don’t let her do it because of the prank. Then at the end when everything is resolved and their back in the future HAVE HER DO IT THEN FOR CLOSURE.

MAYBE EVEN DONT CHANGE THE PAST SO MUCH AND RESOLVE THE LAST CONFLICTS IN THE PRESENT BECAUSE PEOPLE CHANGE AND YOU CABT PREVENT THAG AND MAYBE TOU SHOULD HAVE A NICE LONNG MOTHER DAUGHTER TALK

Maybe Cinderella was jealous of Bridget because she wasn’t frickin abused and maybe charming liked her so that’s one motivation for her to do the prank, albeit an overused one, or maybe she was just pushed so hard by her stepfamily that the bullies were able to manipulate her into doing it.

ANYTHING OTHER THAN EVERYTHING THEY DID IN FACT JSUT DELETE THE WHOOE MOVIE ITS A LOST CAUSE YOU EERE RIFHT RED

I’m going crazy save me please at this point I’ll just be rewriting the whole thing I’m like actually disgusted with this writing I don’t know how this got approved no I do it’s for MONEH THAT TERRIBLE MOUSE not to mention that it’s extremely disrespectful because they said they wouldn’t make any more descendants after Cameron Boyce died and they HAD THE AUDACITY TO SHOUTOUT CARLOS LIKE ‘this is what he would’ve wanted’ NO ITS NOT BURN IT

the best they did was cast Brandy as adult Cinderella just give her the rest of the movies run time PLEASE ITD BE SO MUCH BEGTER

[madroxed]

Fic Writer Interview

i was tagged (ages ago, oops) by the wonderful @lafaerie to do this 💖

i'll tag @jamesandanthony, @lavellenchanted, @shanastoryteller, @coyotesuspect, @doreyg & @floating-in-the-blue but zero pressure.

How many works do you have on ao3?

96 on my main and 22 on my secondary, but i've orphaned at least another, idk, 60? over the years, and there's some fics lost to the chasm of time that is livejournal and prior out there to never be found again.

What’s your total word count?

351,946

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

then you'll wake up, your left hand man, pocketful of sunshine, only by chance, when there's no ground. all are shadowhunters/mortal instruments fic, which is a surprise to exactly no one.

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

i do initially, and then i am terrible for not replying after a certain time which is something i'm working on. it's entirely an anxiety thing, and very silly, but if i don't answer right away i feel like it's too late? idk, i'm trying to be better at it.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i'm not known for my angst, let's be honest, so i'm going to put end of eras (haunting of hill house, luke & nell) here because it's hohh, angst is a given, and also mayyyyybe still my heart this moment and tell me you'll remember (both glee, sam/blaine) which also deal with character death but, like? in a not totally sad way? one's ghosts and one's immortality/reincarnation soooo. i think they count.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

as a happy ending truther, this could apply to practically all of them, but let's go with be in my book (bridgerton, penelope/benedict) which is about as fluffy a fic as they come.

Do you write crossovers?

i used to, back in the wild old days of comment ficathons and crossover comms on lj, but i haven't in years. definitely would, just would have to really think it through now.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

once that i can think of, which was very silly and obviously sent by someone who was deliberately reading fic they weren't going to enjoy.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have been known to, on very rare occasions. my most recently posted fic is actually 911 buck/tommy smut (find peace in the noise) which i wrote almost entirely because of the group chat. it's not necessarily my go-to, but if the mood strikes.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a couple.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not in years, but i used to co-write a lot with a friend in the lj days. i'm not fantastic at co-writing, if only because i am useless with time management.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

i'm not sure i have an answer to this. i sort of just collect ultimate otps and store them and they pile up, so i don't have just one. some i come back to more often than others, but i've definitely been in too many fandoms to have any less than a dozen.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

oh boy, yeah, any? all? i am notoriously bad about this. if i don't write a fic to completion and then post it, the chance of it getting finished are nil. i have one wip on my ao3 (build it better (the second time around), the order, knights poly) that i started before the second season had aired, and every part of me wants to finish it but...we'll see. maybe one day. the part written docs on my computer for dozens of other fics though? coin toss.

What are your writing strengths?

i think i'm pretty good at characterisation. i like how i write dialogue. i think i'm able to say a lot in few words. other than that, who knows. i have a blast with it most the time? that's definitely a strength.

What are your writing weaknesses?

actually sitting down and writing, let's be honest. but otherwise, long fic and plotting are definitely not things i'm great at. i'm trying to get better at extending my word count, but detailed plots still largely elude me.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i try not to, as i am - alas - a lazy english speaker who never picked up another language remotely fluently. and no one trusts online translation tools.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

either buffy or hp, i can't remember exactly.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

i am currently working on some jack/kent (check please) fics (finally - they are one of the dozen that fits into that otp question), which feels terrifying because i love them so much. i also have a couple of stranger things fics i'm thinking about.

i'm notorious for dropping one fic in a fandom and then nothing else ever again, so i'll write for pretty much anything.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

though the truth may vary (shadowhunters, simon/raphael). (i actually started an author's favourites series on ao3 a while back which felt huge, and i've only put four fics in it, oops.)

[vethbrenatto]

TLOVM S2E7 Thoughts

WOW, I was like “i wonder if they’re going to keep in the ‘vex calls scanlan useless’ bits” a day ago and they literally. just started it I’m insane my intuition

I hadn’t even considered grog and the gnomes might not be in the episode but now I’m thinking that e7 might be team half elf plus Percy and e8 will be grog and gnomes

Lmao nerd boy is nerding

You couldn’t just pretend to be happy Vax

Nope totally wrong grog and the gnomes are here

WHAT IF I PUT MY HAND OF YOURS WHILE YOU HEALED YOURSELF WHAT THEN

literally this whole scene he’s holding her how am I supposed to focus

SKINNY GROG CANT HURT YOU

why do i have three peni.

how could you say that about his books vax

COUNTRY TRAVELING SONG WHAT THR FUCKCK

I’m really of two minds about the Pikelan direction they’re going in: I think it aids Scanlan in that it emphasizes his need to deflect sincerity with comedy. However, I think it really detracts from Pike in that campaign-Pike thinks Scanlan is funny. She likes his jokes. A lot of pike’s s1 arc in TLOVM feels inconsistent with her dislike of Scanlan’s crass side- like it’s very in her nature to find this stuff funny. Not that she can’t also like the sincere side, which she does, but just that I think her side of this narrative is making her character seem flatter than it should, especially when you group it with the fact she’s been given a lot of Kiki’s campaign personality traits

the drug trip scene is funny but was it necessary. there’s 8 minutes left where is saundor. or syldor. Where is the Vex focus. Maybe,, they’ll stay in the feywild for e8 while grog and gnomes head to Westruun?

Garmelie was merely the TRAVELER

okay so syngorn next episode.

Best Characterization: Percy. Love u nerd boy

TLOVM S2E8 Thoughts

ohhhh this episode is the Echo Tree, I had the order in my mind wrong no wonder I was so confused about the pacing

Syldor your bitchass can die

WILHAND TRICKFOOT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU SIR

ngl I think the titling hit less animated but fun nonetheless (it’s about the reactions, the live audience, the Matt’s face)

I love saundors voice literally slay sendhil

I adore this Vex in the Echo tree scene, I’ll touch more on it at the end

“My heart is someone else’s” NOW THERES A PUNCH THAT HITS

arty my boyyyy

Best Characterization: Vex

TLOVM S2E9 Thoughts

Boulder parchment shears!!

OKAY THERES THE PIKELAN I WANTED. she flirts back! it’s stupid!! he takes it too seriously!! they joke!!

KAYLIEEE SHES HERE SHES HERE

I don’t have much comment I just love the grog backstory

black hair pike 🥹💚

wait so scanlan wasn’t part of dranzel’s troupe :( that’s such a weird detail to remove

zanror does have a cutie nose

“What if I need you” mirroring s1 buddies ahhhh

Best Characterization: Grog/Pike

Overall Best Characterization: I’ll say Grog.

Okay so I liked this batch a lot, but I’ve got to come back to the question: Split the party- yay or nay?

And I’m still wavering between yay and nay.

Yay: I think the character beats particularly that came from the Grog + Gnomes side of the story hit harder with them sequestered on their own. This new “Grog finds his strength” taken literally storyline is a huge boon to Grog’s character even though I found it a bit superfluous at first. They were able to emphasize the Pikelan and to a lesser extent Scanlan/Grog dynamic that they haven’t been able to touch on as much before.

Nay: I felt like the episodes had some wasted time. Episode 7 I felt like we didn’t need the Feywild side of the story (the most important part is meeting Garmelie- the fight in that episode is essentially to drive further home that Vax is on a diverging path, something I think 4-6 already firmly established). Episode 8 I felt we didn’t need the Grog/Gnomes side of the story (meeting Wilhand was great, but the B plot of “giving grog an enema” was weak)

Ultimately, I think I come down on the side that I would’ve preferred the party to stick together. The weaker plot lines I outlined above I think could’ve been axed and the whole party could’ve gone to the Feywild, we’re still given significant Grog + Gnomes content, and then we’re given just a bit more time to stew in the concept of Syngorn. The punches, specifically with Perc’ahlia in Syngorn, fell flat to me because I don’t think they were given enough time. Had they cut the original E7 fight to make more context for Syngorn, I think it would’ve gone well in expanding context. Then, E9 could’ve remained totally the same just with the rest of VM along for the ride.

That said, maybe the split was worth it just for the country traveling Pikelan bop.

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №18!

DSMP edition!

This is gonna be another one where you can basically write a fic off of that one prompt. Actually please do write that, I'd totally read it. (/not forcing obviously) So 3 questions.

The Fault crew gets dropped into DSMP. Specifically right before the Pogtopia revolution dsmp. Like 5 days before. They get dropped somewhere on the prime path where they get discovered by Tommy. What happens next is up to ya but it would be cool if they got to meet the Pogtopia crew. Also potentially fix the mess that happened during the revolution since this would be the same Fault crew that got shown the songs and got to chat with the dsmp characters, so they do have whatever knowledge of the future they managed to gain. Do they try to fix it? Do they just hang out? Do they idk, ruin even more shit? How do DSMP characters react? Who knows! You do probably. The Fault crew gets teleported back a day after the revolution. They get a countdown during the last day so they know exactly when they're going back and get to say their goodbyes.

I wonder how they would react to the differences in the worlds. Like Minecraft mechanics existing, inventory, communicators (no phones don't typically say when someone has died), 3 lives system, mobs like withers, enchantments. Also the fact that this word is essentially stuck in the middle ages (?)(whatever time would dsmp be. Not modern that's for sure.). Also the differences between the characters that they met previously, so the future for this reality, and the characters which universe they are in currently. Especially Tubbo cause C! Tubbo's character arc was WILD man.

Which Minecraft soundtrack/discs would be which fault crew characters?

1.Ah man let's see if I even remember that far back lmao! FTubbo and FTommy feel obligated to help the revolution for moral reasons, The Blade is helping because he's nice, and Fhil is still trying to figure out if alternate universe versions of his Collected are also under his jurisdiction. Ultimately he's going to go for no I think, give the dsmp crew their own choice in the matter (and I don't think on average he tends to prefer having too many Collected, since conflicting morals and goals get tricky). FWilbur is like what the hell guys we need to dip yesterday, and the walls make him itchy as hell since it hates being unable to run. Dsmp guys are excited for more soldiers, and aren't suspicious because none of the betrayals have happened yet. It flips the tide of the war by a lot. Aside from Fhil they're not great at weapon combat, and might need specialized armor, but honestly the power scales are very different.

If pursuaded Fhil might just go dragon mode, create an impassible flaming wall around L'Manburg. With some piecing together they figure out green boi is responsible for a lot that went down (not to limit main cast's flaws and mistakes etc but still). He reminds FTommy a lot of Dr. Blake. He's definitely getting hunted down and murdered how ever many times it takes. Can't remember why the election happens, but JSchlatt tries to kick them out and the anomalies just laugh and refuse. I imagine new problems arise from butting heads, Wilburs arguing about control, Tommys being hella chaotic, but for the most part things actually are kinda chill? Like probably not for long because everything goes wrong on that server if left alone for long enough, but major antagonists don't have a lot on the anomalies. Not sure ctechno and cphil even show up since they're not requested for battle.

The anomalies are just chillin without the Foundation to worry about, are absolutely outraged when they realize they're going back. Since the plot is derailed so early a lot of their patchy knowledge is kinda useless aside from knowing the potential fracture lines for the dsmp crew. Or. Fault lines, if we want to be silly.

ah hell I just reread and realized that said Pogtopia and not L'Manburg ooops. It's been an extremely long day.

2. NO WIFI?! they're in HELL! what but we're homeless we don't have wifi THIS IS WORSE THAN THE FOUNDATION- In all honesty Philza is perfectly fine, but misses all those human inventions he gets so hyped about. Tommy and Tubbo have the worst go of it. Wilbur is losing its mind over how few food items exist. Tubbo is confused with how fast the crops work, which probably go into steroids around Tubbo. They're like walking bonemeal. The trees scare them. Not the inventory tho, Tubbo already shoves random tupperware in their mouth all the time. Phil tries to put his kids in his inventory once for the joke. It works. Wilbur adores enderchests because amazing food store no one else can get to. NOT happy about creepers tho. The voices won't shut up until they kill the wither.

As for character differences, fTommy and fTubbo really consider them to be like Pre-Foundation, fresh untraumatized kid versions of themselves. Probably over protective to be honest, in a similar vein to how fwil is about ftommy. Again Fhil is absolutely unable to get that CPhil is an independent adult doing his own thing and leaving his kids to their own devices. Though the letter situation dulls his anger. Techno's change isn't as dramatic since he's trauma repellent (/j). Filbur can tolerate this version of Cwilbur.

3.The Blade likes Pigstep for normal reasons.

Tubbo likes Cat, it's energetic and bouyant.

Phil likes Mall, very relaxed and meditative.

Tommy likes otherside for the space/star association.

Wilbur likes Stal, it's suave. Or one of the broken ones bc edgy.

[dekusheroacademia]

Who is the deuteragonist of MHA (spoilers: Bakugou)

I have to be honest, I find most of these debates quite useless, so I wanted to explain why. I do think all three main answers (Bakugou, Shigaraki, All Might) are valid based on how much each reader weights different sides of the definition of deuteragonist.

I am going to explain here why I think the majority of people believe Bakugou to be the deuteragonist, and in general I do believe it too. I added the manga spoilers tag so that people can freely talk about recent plot points.

Now, it is been a while since I studied any literature, so I will cite definitions from different websites.

Deuteragonist, from the merriam webster dictionary, is the actor taking the part of second importance in a classical Greek drama or who serves as a foil to another. The word does come from the Greek theater world. Protagonist is the main character involved in the struggle given by the plot. https://literarydevices.net/deuteragonist/ defines it as:

So it CAN be an antagonist (someone can have both roles of antagonist and deuteragonist, by this definition), and the important part is "being the second main character". Wikipedia gives this definition (these are what they cite, in second pic):

Here are some examples from my personal favourite literature texts.

In Romeo and Juliet, Benvolio or Mercutio might be considered the deuteragonist. If you are not too familiar with the play, Benvolio is one of the Montagues, and Romeo's confidant, but also a friend of both Mercution and Romeo. Mercutio is the "neutral, non neutral" party, and definitely one of the protagonists, but his story is cut short when he is killed. I have seen Benvolio mainly chosen the the deuteragonist because he acts as a close companion to Romeo, but Mercutio is the one who emotionally changes the path of Romeo's story (his death leads to the whole revenge thing). Important note: you can have more than one deuteragonist. It is not a "only one prize for one character only". Furthermore, notice how Tybalt is not seen as the deuteragonist even if he is the one changing the course of the story (he acts as an antagonist, and ends up killing Mercutio, and then being killed by Romeo).

Another example is Watson in Sherlock Holmes. Watson is Holmes' companion and the deuteragonist for basically all the books. Here the deuteragonist is such because he acts as a companion, confidant and friend of Holmes, but also contrasts to Holmes (they sometimes disagree on stuff), not to mention the fact that he simply is the most present character after Holmes.

Another deuteragonist is Marius from Les Miserables, where he falls into the "second protagonist" role. I wanted to cite this in particular because Les Mis is a quite long narrative, and Marius only appears in the last part. The two only interacts briefly, and here the term deuteragonist is mainly used as second protagonist given that the story follows Marius too, after his appearance. Marius also partecipates in Valjean's character development (by getting him out of his shell, so to say). Notice how Javert (my favourite) appears multiple times in the story, is in conflict to Valjean, is the opposite and complementary to Valjean and the antagonist, but because he does not partecipate in Valjean's character arc (the opposite is true tho), and because he is not as present as Marius, he is not defined as the deuteragonist. (By the way, when I say that Valjean and Javert are complementary and in contrast I mean.... literally. Hugo created both of their characters by dividing the characteristics of a real existing person named Eugène François Vidocq). Yes, Valjean/Javert is my ultimate otp, but this is a discourse for another time.

Let's look now at more definitions. From: https://masterclass.com/articles/what-is-a-deuteragonist-in-literature… The deuteragonist can SOMETIMES assume different roles (ex. sidekick, lover, antagonist), so Shigaraki could be one ONLY if present in a story and playing a particular major role:

From the same source: an important part of being the deuteragonist is being a foil for the protagonist and the role they have in the protagonist's character development:

In the case of MHA, I think All Might and Bakugou could be deuteragonist, but I see a lot of people suggesting Shigaraki. Let's see all that is needed by pulling together these definitions:

Second main character (who struggle and overcomes)

Second main character (presence)

Confidant, companion, someone who helps the protagonist (but might switch to antagonist)

Act as a foil to the protagonist, embody similar qualities

Embody opposite qualities to contrast the protagonist

Has a role in the character development of the protagonist.

As I said up above, before we go point by point, keep in mind that everything has a certain level of subjectivity. There is only 1 point that has an objective measurement, and that is point 2. Let's start with point 1:

Now point (2): Second main character (presence). I determined this by counting number of panels of each character. Bakugou here is the one with the most presence after Deku, following we have Todoroki, very similar number to All Might. Shigaraki here is lower (almost half of Bkg presence):

Now, points 3 to 5:

And the final point, point (6), is about the role in the character development of the protagonist (Deku). This is particular important. For a more comprehensive descritption of Bakugou's role as a step ladder for Deku's character development, please read this before continuing:

Summarizing:

And here is a summary of all 6 points. The only character who not only fits all three but also fits the only point (2) that has objectivity in it, is Bakugou:

Keep in mind that there is always a level of subjectivity in interpreting this point. The only objective one is the panel count (which Bakugou has, given he is the most present character in the story). But I do think Bakugou is the only one who best fit the multi-faceted idea of the deuteragonist. I also added Shigaraki a yes to point 6, but I do think his role in aiding Deku's character development is much smaller, and much more secondary, than Bakugou and All Might's.

[randomnameless]

If I can be the devil's advocate, the victim blaming helps illustrate how misguided Supreme Leader is and is one of the few aspects that support her status as the villain/antagonist. (And if anyone defends victim blaming especially wrt imperialism, yikes).

You're not playing devil's advocate anon, rather IS/KT's lol

If the devs didn't bail out at the last moment - CF and Supreme Leader could have been fascinating bonuses for the FE series, play as the red emperor - see how the red emperor recruits/their tactics to keep the population ignorant at large and demonise the people they're attacking, etc, etc...

But no, instead Supreme Leader wondering why people are not happy when she's Aymr'ing them is played seriously, and we're left puzzled with the character we see, are we supposed to follow Flamey - who lies and manipulates people, ultimately ditching them when they're useless - on her quest to conquer the world, seeing how this manipulation works, the "must have good PR" tactics unfold etc etc?

Because that's part of what we see in Tru Piss - the lie about Rhea using Nukes, the lie about "unlike u i let people go when i stormed Garreg Mach" and the Aeneid approved "what is a pincer attack?" where Supreme Leader apparently marvels at how the "pincing" army supposedly waited until the first army was already ko to intervene, limiting their losses - when it's just a pincer attack with added plot rain -

And then we have the brainfart moments "why are people resisting?" that completely retcon the entire "uwu blood at my feet" because, hey, you knew blood would rain since you uwu'd about it, so why now you're wondering why people are dying? - that is also played seriously, are we following Flamey and a red Emperor, or someone who thought she was playing with dolls and forgot her own words?

Everything falls flat when the games give the victim blaming lines to other factions, aka the victims themselves!

Like in

(SS's worst support)

Nopes.

I get victim blaming when you're siding/following the red emperor's mindset, because PR, or maybe because they're delured enough to think they're doing this for the "great-err good" - but the invaded parties?

Where the fuck in FE Tellius are people telling Ike started Ashnard's war because he sheltered Elincia? Sigurd pretty much says "fuck off" to people telling him Granvalle might hate him for, hm, sheltering the Prince of an enemy nation instead of dicing him in cubes, because said prince is only a kid in hiding and Siggy will protect him (which will of course be used as an argument leading to his downfall) - When Reptor and Langobalt (and Andrei don't forget him!!!) attack Sigurd and deem him a traitor, Sigurd doesn't think they're right and it's his fault if he and his men are branded traitors because they rescued a child, no, he wants to cleanse his (and his father's !) name by rekting the aforementioned dudes.

Unless we're supposed to understand Supreme Leader's information campaign reached far and wide, why the world blames the Central Church, you know, the Elincia who was kicked out of her home, for the start of the War? What were they supposed to do? Die ?

I still have to check with friends about the accurate translation, but Supreme Leader's battle lines even in Nopes, lampshade this victim blaming, telling the Nabateans or Church peeps she's only fighting because they do like -

you want them gone and they want to survive, it suspiciously looks like some "it's your fault I have to smack you/you made me do this" - but hey, from the Red Emperor, it's normal, they deflect and redirect the blame because they are the Red Emperor, and they manipulate, it's their MO (even if Supreme Leader's quite weak compared to people like Ashnard or Arvis who legit framed Siggy!).

And that's where the Hresvelg Grey pours like an endless fountain - the victims will never be allowed a voice to the chapter - the plot ignores them and so it's their fault, and nothing says the contrary. It's because Rhea is so BaD and sekritly controls the World that Supreme Leader has to invade the Alliance who pretty much doesn't give a fuck about what Rhea says or does.

And no one will ever point that out.

In a nutshell, I love Tru Piss as a concept, the unreliable words you're told vs the world you see - the contradictions between your side's story and the rest of Fodlan, how the dissonance is too strong and culminates with "Rhea BaD she razed Arianrhod" and yet... nothing comes from this. The plot warps at the 11h59 hour to fit with the "world as you're told" and Tru Piss shines on Fodlan.

Sothis forgots you've terminated her daughter (and maybe son+granddaugther?) because Supreme Leader doesn't believe in... Sothis, or how she fulfills her fated enemies agenda to have brainsex with Billy and shares with them some of her power to make sure they still live as she poofs in oblivion if she wasn't S-supported - completely retconning what we knew of Sothis (the supposed loving mother) and what we will later learn about her (the vengeful being who's pretty pissed at people who slaughter her kin).

TLDR : Fodlan's victim blaming could have been better implemented in the Red Emperor "information campaign" to depict how warped information is, in times of war, or in general, the dangers of misinformation coupled with a charismatic person's spouting utter shit to justify... something that is not justifiable. But Tea must be sold, and so everyone buys the "information campaign" even if the world screams against it.

Victim blaming becomes unsufferable in Nopes and in the worst support ever, Rhea's straight out asking Billy if the war - eating nukes, being tortured in Enbarr for 5 years, a continental war, disparition of civilians, Baldos and Waldis being manufactured, etc etc - is her fault and Billy never saying "of fucking course no".

When Ninian blames herself for Elbert's death, Eliwood tells her it's not her fault, Elbert died trying to do what he thought was just, and Nergal was the one who killed him.

Oh well.

[bedlamsbard]

Ah, now I remember, the last time I sent you the ask about the Hydra Cap AU you said the same thing about Thor, haha. If you posted more about potential routes you could take I’d be super interested.

@ Tony I didn’t want to come off as someone, like, Angry at how you’ve portrayed him previously; I’ve liked it, and I’d be SUPER interested in swing the Hydra Cap version of him. I didn’t actually make the connection that the Chessmen suits were the divergence point, that’s interesting as hell to me. The way that other characters’ portrayals depend super heavily on point of view is a big chunk of why I keep coming back to your writing, tbh, and it does make sense that Tony in particular gets the short end of the stick a lot for that, haha.

I just read the marvel fandom wiki page about the Chessmen and this is fucking hilarious, oh my god.

With Thor I think it really just comes down to what the hell Hydra does when it rolls up to Mjolnir in Thor. The thing I definitely don't want to do is get Thor captured by Hydra and still being held by Hydra when Steve gets defrosted; that's certainly a potentially interesting plot and I know that there are a couple of fics that have done something similar with Loki getting captured by SHIELD/Hydra, but I personally don't want to go there. I think ultimately it has to get to a point where either the Chitauri don't attack in 2012 or Loki doesn't attack in 2012 (with Thanos's involvement, these two aren't mutually exclusive; there could be an offworld attempt at the Tesseract even without an Asgardian involved, but it's way less likely). And in this context that has to be related to what SHIELD (a.k.a. Hydra) is doing in Puente Antiguo, which doesn't offer a whole lot of options to affect what Loki is doing in Asgard.

Thor is kind of interesting because SHIELD is portrayed antagonistically for the first time in Phase 1, since we're seeing them being very high-handed from Jane's POV. Hydra would be even more high-handed and aggressive -- instead of just confiscating Jane's equipment and research, maybe they also take Jane and Selvig into custody, leaving Darcy behind because she's "useless" for those purposes, meaning Darcy is the one who takes Thor out to the Mjolnir site. Say at this point Coulson is still undercover with Hydra, rather than already having been outed as one of Fury's SHIELD loyalists; after Thor is captured too, Coulson makes the decision to break his cover and break Thor, Jane, and Selvig out, where they meet up with Darcy and he spirits them off to one of the realSHIELD black sites. In retaliation, Hydra trumps up accusations of academic dishonesty/treason/etc. for Jane, Selvig, and Darcy, meaning they can't go back to their real lives; that puts all of Team Thor with realSHIELD. This also gives us an "unworthy" Thor who doesn't have Mjolnir and who thinks he doesn't have his powers, meaning that he probably goes through his Ragnarok "what were you the god of?" arc four movies early, with Mjolnir at the site of what later gets built up as a permanent Hydra base. (This also means that, depending on whether realSHIELD or Hydra kept the Tesseract, that Selvig isn't there to fuck around with the Tesseract, thus gaining Thanos's attention and bringing the Chitauri down on them, which also solves that problem.)

Except that still leaves us back with Asgard. If Thor is thrown immediately into a cell or a more secure holding place than in the film, maybe Loki doesn't come to visit, because to him this appears like a more likely way to keep Thor out of the way than in canon, especially because it now looks like Thor is never going to get access to Mjolnir again. Maybe it means that he panics less than he does in canon and looks generally less suspicious -- the problem here is that, being a Loki fan, I am also turning cartwheels to keep Loki from immediately leaping to genocide as his best option. (Normally I am all in favor of letting Loki keep culpability for all the horrible shit he does, but the goal here is NOT to set up interplanetary warfare.) It looks from the film like Loki visits Thor on Earth and Laufey in Jotunheim on the same trip, or at least that it can be interpreted that way; if he doesn't do the one, then maybe he also doesn't do the other, and thus doesn't immediately arouse Heimdall's suspicion to the same extent as in canon, meaning Heimdall is not going to send Sif and the Warriors Three to Earth, meaning Loki isn't going to send the Destroyer after them because he's panicking. This gives him more space to figure out a less fucked up way of dealing with the Jotunheim problem, which could even be "wait until Odin wakes up," which was always the goal even in canon. If Loki's not on a panicked bad decisions spiral, things on Asgard don't go as badly as they do in canon; the political situation is probably still very tense, but assuming Odin wakes up fairly soon anyway, to his point of view Thor is going on his intended character arc the long way round and he won't give Heimdall, Sif, and the W3 the opportunity to try and expedite that the way it does in canon. They can deal with the Jotunheim problem with politics, the Bifrost is still intact, Asgard is keeping a more watchful eye on Earth to see what Thor's doing but is under strict orders NOT to interfere.

...okay, that actually solves the Thor problem with this AU. (and gives everyone a good idea of how my AU development train of thought works.)

The Chessmen suits aren't the divergence point, but the outcome of Stane keeping hold of the Iron Monger armor and mass-producing similar suits, which he says he wants to do in IM1. I've just borrowed the Chessmen name from the comics, rather than going 1:1 to transfer the comics characters over. The divergence point is the Tony-Stane fight on the roof of Stark Industries at the end of IM1.

I get a little tetchy about Tony because Steve is my favorite character and as a result I get accused of not being a Tony fan -- it really is just the time period and POVs I mostly tend to write in! He's obviously fine and not negatively portrayed in Yonder! (Though if I'd known later that I'd be rolling around in that universe for a while, I'd have started Yonder a chapter earlier to actually introduce Tony as a potential "willing to work with this particular team" -- I might still do this as a one-shot prequel at some point, but I'm really wary about working in the Yonderverse right now because Horizon was not popular.) (I cut multiple scenes from Horizon where he appeared in order to keep the impact of that last sequence.) I do think Tony is consistently making spectacularly bad decisions from AoU onwards; that doesn't mean I don't like the character, it just means it's interesting to interpret why and how he goes there. Blame the Russos and the rest of the MCU PTB for those decisions, not me for having fun with the consequences. (Generally meant, not aimed at you.) I try really hard not to dislike characters, because getting to that point never ends well as a fic writer or even as a fan in general. (When I got there in Star Wars, it was probably the end of the line for the fandom.)

[shotbyafool]

hi anna! did you ever listen to preludes/what were your thoughts on it? i never got into it but there’s a production playing not far from me and i’m sure i’ll go because dave malloy still controls part of my brain but it sounds like A Lot so i’m trying to figure out how accessible it is and if i bring someone that’s not like super into theater will they still be able to understand and enjoy it

hi anon! sorry for the late reply; I had to relisten to Preludes and then stew on it for a few days, as one does.

I will begin by stating my annoying, pretentious opinion: that I think Dave Malloy is one of those artists that you should always see when you get the chance, even if you think you will not like it. to me, he is in the same league as, like, Sondheim or Stoppard or Pinter, and if given the chance, you should always jump upon it. it seems like you already intend to go anyway, but I am emphasizing this, and if you conclude you should not bring anyone to it, then you should go alone; theater alone is a treasured art form I think.

anyhow, I think Preludes is Malloy’s most… unsettling piece? perhaps his most abstract, not in terms of plot per se, but in terms of development. I find it deeply beautiful and deeply upsetting. maybe this is just the recording’s sound design (which may vary for the production you see), but dear God! it gets painful at points. hair-raising.

on the other hand, it is a little more accessible than his other pieces (Ghost Quartet is quite literally confusing; Great Comet is not actually confusing, but its premise is daunting) and the real-life story is like, deeply interesting. and he is an actual guy, and you may know his music, and you can read about Rach beforehand. and while Malloy writes a lot of the music, so much of it is based in Rachmaninoff’s actual music, which to me also makes it less alienating perhaps and less musical theater specific, meaning it’s open to a greater audience. it feels a little colder from Malloy than his other works, I think – a little less loving, the world a little more unkind – but this is not necessarily bad. but does perhaps articulate why it’s hard to get into.

all this to say, if a person you might be bringing likes the abstract or maybe likes classical musical or maybe is intrigued by the anachronistic, then it seems like a great idea. but I don’t think it’s going to be all that daunting, not really. hard to tell. this advice is ultimately useless. musical recommendations are hard and I must tailor who I invite to things carefully; it takes me days, if not weeks, to decide who I want to bring to what show. apologies for the lack of conclusion!

[nokingsonlyfooles]

The Writers' Strike and Dystopia News Today!

Just finished listening to the most recent Trash Future (it's great, find it wherever you listen to podcasts, because you don't live under a rock and of course you listen to podcasts). It's about the writers' strike.

Their guest (a Hollywood writer) recounted an interview with the Russo brothers (the team behind The Avengers films, among other things) where someone asked them what they were hoping AI would do for movies. The Russos thought it would be super fun to come home some day, tell your smart speaker you want to watch a 90 minute romcom starring your photorealistic avatar, and Marilyn Monroe's photorealistic avatar, and sit back and let it be instantly generated and served. And what's wrong with that?

A lot. There is a lot wrong with that. Just for starters, the uncanny valley lives and you'd relate better to a simplified cartoon cat than a photorealistic Marilyn (who is dead, and whose acting career should not continue without her consent). Also, if AI actually could generate decent movies like that, everyone involved in the entertainment industry would be out of a job, including directors like the Russos!

But the Trash Future crew didn't say this, so I'm gonna: You know what this is? This is capitalism trying like hell to control the means of production. The means of production for a story is the human imagination, and, although it has tried, capitalism has failed to monopolize and control that. It can control the resources you need to publish, and copyright will prevent you from publishing certain things, but that's only controlling the expression, not the thing itself. It can also try to control what you see, but if you really want something, you can always make a version of it yourself and self-publish, even if it doesn't get as much traction as a corporate-approved project.

You know what a creatively sterile corporate executive would really like for Christmas? An imagination that can be built from scratch, altered at will, and owned. And if AI can do that for 'em, they can finally kick all those useless, expensive, delicate human creatives to the curb.

I'm working on my art manifesto. It's slow going because I have a lot of other things to do, and I keep backing away and telling myself, Art doesn't need you to save it. This really isn't necessary. Check your ego, the most you can accomplish is like a wet fart in a hurricane, and that's okay. But stuff like this... These corporate interests that want to kill Art (and not like Dada, I mean REALLY. FUCKING. KILL IT.) have already defined the battle they want to fight and they're making moves.

They want you to stop being a producer. They want you to stop competing with the media they buy and curate that you have to pay them for. Ultimately, they'd rather not even buy these things before selling them to you, they want an AI slave to tell stories that they can own outright. And they want you to come home and plop down on your couch and not even consider writing a self-insert fic to entertain yourself, or finding a Reader/SugarKane (see, that's a character Marilyn played, rather than a reanimated corpse) story somewhere. They want you to pay money to CorpseFucker Monthly (or whatever they'd call it), put in your order and consume it. And when you're done with that, you can slam some more money on the counter and have another one.

We are tired, and we are delicate, and we need support. Telling stories is hard. I've often wished I could just read what I'm writing, instead of doing all that work, because that's really all I want. I want my story to exist so I can read it and enjoy it and connect with other people who read it and enjoy it. I don't want to stare into a white void until my eyes bleed, trying to think of a way to express what X character is thinking and why they're going to do a thing that makes the plot go. I don't want to rip into my trauma looking for Milo's motivation, I just want to feel better seeing him learn and grow.

But although that is what I want, there is not a magic box that can do that for me, and if there were, the people in charge of the box would not ask it to generate my story. I'd have to pay them for the privilege. And if I wanted to share it and build a community around it, I'd have to pay for that too. I didn't make it. It's not mine. All I did was dash off a prompt - that's not special, no one cares, go away and let someone else have a turn with the box. You are disposable, and your story is disposable, all that matters is that rich people got a little richer.

This is not new. The owners have been pushing for this since the advent of the printing press, if not longer. But they finally have a way to do it for real. They just need to frontload as many human imaginations as possible to train the box, after which any further input will not be required.

They already have all our work that they bought, and paid for, and have the rights to. And they have everything that fell into the public domain too. And, of course, they have everything stored on their various servers that they may leaf through and steal.

We do know this, and we're fighting back, but we're fragmented and disorganized and it's hard to pull back and see the whole picture. Yes, we are having a writers' strike, and thank God, but it's for reasonable paycheques and job security. Writers should have those things! But there is no fair compensation for the total commodification of Art. That's like... buying carbon offsets while the planet burns. (I know, I know, we're doing that too.)

Every word, every image we put out there is fodder for the magic box. Copyright is not going to save you from this, that's not what it's for. If they want the rights to your thing, they'll just buy them - probably not even from you. (And I'm giving my thing away, so I'm just as screwed.) They are going to do this, and we're not going to stop them.

The only question is, are we going to be able to build some kind of corporate-independent structure to tell and share our stories, and support each other... or when they yank the rug out from under us, are we gonna fall?

[prowerprojects]

Heh, welcome to why I've always been so selective of Tails content in this fandom. I remember the early 2000s days of the fandom where he was either killed off to either enrage Sonic to hype up some new villain or replace him with a "better" partner. {Be it someone's OC or other popular characters like Shadow or Blaze} Or, due to accusations of being useless/not cool, he rarely used in anything meaningful. He's just cute and that's it. (With Tailsmo for flavor.)

Then Colors-Forces happened; I don't think I need to explain to this one, but no doubt this caused a shift in how he was viewed. (And the dynamic with Sonic.)

Stuff has somewhat chilled since then, but it feels like a 180 was done. (Like, fans are quick to bring out the knifes if you speak ill of their bond, and due to recent media like the movies and Prime, this probably the most Tails' character has been deeply and widely discussed, but now we're in this weird limbo were people want a more independent and active Tails, but won't let Sonic "let go of his hand" and protect him at all cost. People understand they're partners, but won't grasp they're equals. They cover the other's flaws, they take care of each other. That's since the day they met.) I like a "blue hedgehog takes care of a [smart] baby fox" story as much as the next person, but do you think that said baby fox never tried to pull his own weight? Never tried to return the favor to this blue hedgehog; who respects his skills [and his tails] and comes to him when he can't figure something out or the best and quickest solution? That they don't think twice on throwing themselves in danger for one another? That's what's so fun about this dynamic. It evolves, but it's ultimately the same premise.

TL:DR Depending on how fanon Tails is written more or often not gives away what kind of Sonic to expect and the dynamic that comes with it. Am I seeing two individuals with their own thoughts and beliefs bounce off each other? Or is one being heavily guided by a figurative leash by the other? ( I'm scared depending on how Nine's story ends, if it's going to cause yet another shift of how Tails gets looked and portrayed and his relationship with Sonic. Cause I'm still seeing some miss the point on why Nine is the way he is and is not a more "complete/developed" Tails. Latching on to him for stuff Tails has done before in games and other adaptions. {And I'm speaking as a Nine fan. Yeah, he's more independent and self-sufficient, but not a healthy way.})

Sigh

I don't even have anything to add, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed this weird two-way thing with Tails. Fans want him to get character development and be independent, because it's good for his character arc, and this is what makes sense, but in their hearts what they really want is for Tails to be the little baby brother that Sonic tucks in every night and gives him funny kisses and checks for monsters under his bed; who exists solely to show how great of a big brother Sonic is, sacrificing so much of his freedom and taking on so much responsibility to raise a child, can you believe this? (Not saying you can't be independent and still get affection and help from your family, note the word "solely") (And if Sonic doesn't need to keep an eye on Tails because Tails is such a helpless baby, then it's because if he's left without supervision for 5 seconds, he starts killing people and destroying cities and Sonic needs to keep him in check)

And yeah, I get it, fandom, we're all having fun, I also think jokes about Tails being a little unhinged are funny, and I enjoy the brotherly fluff between Sonic and Tails, but I wish it wasn't all that he got reduced to (Especially in fics where the focus is one Sonic + some other character who isn't Tails. If it's a shipping fic there's often a plot where Sonic's partner would have to babysit Tails (never mind he lives by himself in canon) and bond with him, to kind of "get approval from Sonic's family".) But it's hard to talk about these kinds of things. Like when you criticize the way people portray characters in a ship, you could say "don't reduce them to just a generic love interest, remember that they're a character with a full personality also", and people understand what you mean, but how could you say "don't reduce this character to just a little brother type"? They are brothers after all, we just want to make them act like real brothers do/s

Yep, I've seen way to many people being like "Nine is what I always wanted Tails to be". And it's like. Ok. So you just hate Tails then. Let me guess, is Shadow your favourite character? I also like Nine, he's a great character, probably the best written one in the show, but he's not "cool", he doesn't represent "Tails reaching his full potential" or anything like that. He's deeply hurt and kind of pitiful honestly. Tails becoming more like him would be a regression if anything because he'd already overcome a similar (maybe just not as... prolonged) situation before. But I don't think this is what the show is building up to, Tails (in the show) is portrayed to be a pretty competent person already, just the one who is willing to put aside his issues because he doesn't want to risk creating any kind of conflict in his relationship with Sonic (in contrast to Nine who doesn't have as much history with Sonic and is willing to tell him exactly when and how he fucks up), and it's Sonic who needs to change his attitude. But we'll see how it goes. (I wouldn't want their relationship to turn into "long-suffering Tails holds his dumbass older brother on a child leash otherwise he'll run off and do something stupid" in popular conciousness either)

[coll2mitts]

#30 Funny Girl (1968)

Funny Girl: How Feminism Killed My Marriage!

It was only coincidence I decided to watch Funny Girl after completing my review of A Star is Born, as it hits several of the same plot points.  I honestly thought the only reason they were strikingly similar to me was because I viewed them back-to-back, but then two videos I watched about the Broadway production noted this as well, so I didn't feel entirely unjustified.  Man with lots of money discovers woman before she becomes a star.  They start a obviously doomed relationship and get married right as the wife's career starts to take off.  The husband struggles with his own vices to the detriment of his wife's career, and ultimately their relationship ends because the husband is too proud and can't handle the fact their spouse makes more money than them.  The end.

Although I don't think the plot is necessarily the reason to watch this movie (the reason is to watch Barbra Streisand be the most Barbra Streisand she can be), it is a fictionalized retelling of the rise of real-life burlesque star Fanny Brice and her relationship with her first husband Nick Arnstein.  From all accounts this leans pretty heavy on the fictionalized, as Nicky was married when he and Fanny began their affair, it took him 6 years to get divorced from his previous wife to marry Fanny, and Fanny eventually divorced him because she was sick of him fucking around on her.  Even though her love life was tumultuous, Fanny's career is what made her special, which is why it's a bit annoying that in the majority of this movie it takes a backseat to her fascination with a useless pretty boy.  Although real-life Fanny's character was a Jewish characture, she helped in revising the criteria of what kinds of women could be famous performers.  Beyond a good body and a pretty face, personality and talent were enough to gain notoriety.  Although let's be real, it's not like Fanny was hideous or anything.

Barbra originated this role on Broadway, and it was tailor made to her talents.  Check out the videos linked from Staged Right for a great summary of how the show was created, how Barbra was cast against the wishes of Fanny's non-fictional daughter, and what a seemingly contentious run the Broadway musical had.  When Columbia bought the rights to the show, it was with the understanding Barbra would reprise the role on film. And oh boy, guys, this is probably one of the best love letters to a leading actress I've ever seen committed to celluloid.

Picture it: New York, 1920s. Fanny Brice, with her name in lights on the Ziegfeld Follies marquis, soberly enters backstage and greets herself in a sound clip I used as a log-in alert on AIM for like 6 years. Giving off "I'm going to retire" energy, Fanny wanders the stage and loiters in the empty theater until her assistant Emma finds her and cryptically asks "This is the day, isn't it?". Fanny confirms, and free of context I have no idea if this woman is making a comeback, or leaving showbusiness, or running away to join the circus. When Emma mentions that Ziegfeld is waiting for her, Fanny disassociates and we're treated to a flashback a few years earlier...

Picture it: New York, 1910s. A young Fanny Brice's neighbors are reading her for filth on her appearance and mocking her for having dreams of singing stardom.

I think this is the only ensemble number that doesn't take place on stage.  Any solo or duet numbers with any character that aren't Fanny, like Eddie, Mrs. Brice, and Nick, have been cut so Barbra is on screen almost 100% of the time.  I was genuinely shocked later on when Omar Sharif started singing because I forgot this was something someone other than Barbra was allowed to do.

Fanny heads to her new gig as a beautiful Arabian lady and is immediately fired for not knowing the routine and hamming it up the entire fucking time. The theater owner Mr. Keeney scolds the director Eddie Ryan for even casting such a goof while Fanny refuses to be dismissed and sings and dances her way around until they're forced to physically escort her out of the theater.

Mid-rant, and after accosting a few children, she breaks back in only to find everyone gone except Eddie, who after hearing her pipes asks why she even considered auditioning for a chorus girl when clearly she's a belter. I giggled uncontrollably when Fanny answered, "If you were looking for a juggler, I'd have been a juggler", cause girl, same. When I was a kid I legitimately auditioned for a part in Harlequin that required juggling skills full-well knowing I couldn't, and when asked to prove I could after the singing portion was acceptable, the ensuing display of athletic prowess cemented the fact I would absolutely not be chosen.

I tried googling this musical and I can't find evidence it ever existed. Maybe it was some public school choir teacher's passion project they only got to see kids perform once a year after a 3 week summer camp? Or maybe I had a fever dream when I was 10 and hallucinated being in it? IDK, help me out here.

Eddie decides to give Fanny a second chance at the chorus after she assures him she can roller skate, even though it was a bold-faced lie. After falling on her ass 20 times, which froths the audience into a frenzy, Eddie allows Fanny to sing a solo. Her unique blend of comedy, talent, and the sudden ability to skate once she's getting sole attention from everyone, wins over Mr. Kenney and Fanny is tentatively offered a permanent position.

"Honey hurry up, hurry up, hurry up..." is Barbra's signature slurry phrasing at its peak.

Fanny's shenanigans also catch the eye of a ridiculously attractive gambler Nicky Arnstein, who successfully hustles Mr. Kenney to hire Fanny for $50 a week, but is unsuccessful in asking Fanny out. She shrugs off his advances after surmising she is well out of his league, but oh my god, how the hell would anyone turn down Omar Sharif? I am not that strong willed.

According to Wikipedia, this is the fourth movie on this list that almost cast Frank Sinatra (previous ones including A Star is Born, The Music Man, and Easter Parade). For as much as y'all know I love Frankie, whoever suggested him over Omar should be well and truly slapped.

Several months later, there's a commotion on Henry street when the Brice's receive a telegram, and once the shock that someone hadn't died worn off, they're left in the wake of Ziegfeld's request for Fanny to come by his theater and audition. She reacts in a completely reasonable way.

Unsurprisingly, she aces the audition, and after fighting with Ziegfeld over how beautiful he thinks she is verses how she thinks she's not, she turns his new finale number from a bizarre ode to seasonal brides into a comedy act about a shotgun wedding in order to deflect anticipated criticism away from her face.

Peek a small cameo from Anne Francis, whose part was cut down so much she tried to get herself removed from the credits altogether. It's fine, instead she'll forever be known as the woman who pranked Dorothy Zbornak by pretending to die while beating her at tennis.

Fanny averts termination even though she deliberately ignored the directions of the director, again, because she's too much of a hit. She rides the high of bossing around Ziegfeld right into the arms of Nicky, who just so happens to be there on her opening night. This time she takes him back to her mother's saloon and he politely allows her friends and family to clean out his pockets at poker even though he's a bit of a professional gambler.

After charming the entire block, Nicky convinces Fanny to follow him to a second location out into the alley so they can be alone, and like, sure, this is a colossally bad idea, but how do you say no to that smile? After establishing both of them are single, Nicky adds more red flags to the parade of them by saying he's been with thousands of women because he likes to feel free and never has definite plans. Fanny reacts to this information by babbling incoherently about how some people kinda like being in relationships and Nicky kisses her to shut her up before riding off into the night.

I would die. Just drop dead right there, thank you and good night, it's been a good life.

Flash forward AN ENTIRE FUCKING YEAR and Fanny randomly runs into Nick again at a train station in Baltimore while the Follies are on their national tour. He invites her to dinner in a private dining room at their hotel, and while she momentarily pretends to be aloof, once inside she does exactly what I would do immediately if left alone in a room with Omar Sharif in 1967.

Fanny asks why Nicky never called on her a year and two weeks ago and he explicitly says he could smell the virgin all over her and didn't think she could hang. When asked what has changed now, he replies, "If you don't, it's time you learned."

So... they bone, and continue to bone the entire week the Follies are in town. Unfortunately after 7 days Nicky's racehorse turned into a pumpkin and he has to leave Fanny behind to board a boat to Europe to scam a bunch of bored dudes out of money since he doesn't have any anymore. Of course Nicky confesses to Fanny he's suddenly in love, so instead of going their separate ways after a brief sexcapade, Fanny abandons the show and makes a big romantic gesture by taking a tugboat to Nicky's waterborne casino to surprise him. Her coworkers try to convince Fanny this is a colossally bad idea and you could anger a million bulls with all the red flags Nicky's waving, but she simply. cannot say no. to that smile. I would make a joke that his dick must be legendary but she wouldn't know any better if it wasn't.

Oh look, another helicopter shot from the 1960s that's a million times better than the one in A Hard Day's Night.

Sidenote: Every time I hear "the sun's a ball of butter" I first cringe because I hate that line, and secondly think of this skit.

This was Barbra's first film role, by the way.  Not that she wasn't well-known at this point - her voice was already acknowledged as one of the greats before she even turned 30.  But she steals the camera in every freaking scene, especially this one when Fanny's clearly making the dumbest mistake ever.  You root for Fanny; you want her to succeed in both life and love because Barbra is so charming.  She won a Best Actress Oscar for this performance, and it's incredibly easy to see why.

To the surprise of everyone (even Fanny), Nick is ecstatic to see her - so ecstatic he only giggles when the porter calls him "Mr. Brice" instead of going on a several-day bender that ends with him crashing Fanny's Oscar acceptance speech.  Of course Fanny plays the "please pick me, I'll never tie you down" card, only to THIRTY SECONDS LATER suggest to Nick that usually when two people love each other, they get married.  Instead of jumping off of the boat and swimming toward the shore, Nick informs Fanny if he can win his huge payday, she'll get a husband.  After much distress on Fanny's part, Nick later returns to the room with a big wad of cash, and they immediately return home to play house for a while.

Fanny went from on the road living like a mouse to being blissfully happy with a husband, a mansion, servants and a baby.  But the other shoe finally starts to drop when Nicky's hot streak turns cold.  While he's losing the house on oil fields that produce no oil, Fanny is headlining in a show, putting Nicky's ego in check.  With a famous wife, his more-frequent losses are being broadcast around both his gambling community and society at large.  When Fanny realizes Nick is drowning after he skips her show's opening night for a poker game, she sets up a scheme where his buddy Tom would approach Nick with a legit job offer running a local casino.  After Tom informs Nick he wouldn't have to pony up start-up cash to make him a partner because his experience conning wealthy gentlemen was valuable enough, Nick smells the deception from a mile away and refuses the position because apparently it's incredibly embarrassing for your wife to network for you.

In an effort to get back on top, Nick decides to participate in an scammy bond scheme, gets caught, and pleads guilty to the crime so it doesn't look like he's stupid enough to agree to something without knowing how fucking illegal it is.  Fanny goes to court to see Nick before they ship him off to prison for a few years, and when he tries to end the relationship by telling Fanny he will never be able to support her, Fanny asks him to reconsider. If Nick feels the same way when he gets out, she won't fight him on the divorce.

The absolute paranoia of a world where women could make more money than their husbands is fucking ridiculous to me.  In both A Star is Born and Funny Girl, the moment the universe takes away the man's ability to monetarily provide for his family he suddenly feels as if he has nothing to contribute.  His masculinity and his ego get in the way of being truly proud of his wife.  The women are both willing to entirely give up their careers to take care of their deadbeat husbands (even asserting in public they should be referred to by their husband's last name), which is baffling on its own, but they've already made the irreversibly irredeemable crime of perusing success, even when their husbands initially encouraged it.  All I learn from these stories is that men want strong women, strong enough where he can brag about them, but not strong enough to overshadow them.  If that starts to happen, the wife needs to intuitively shrink in order to give their husband the chance to catch up.

One thing you can't fault Nicky for is hiding his true nature. He told Fanny exactly who he was when they first met.  He never had a set schedule because he wanted to feel free.  She was Woman and he was Man, and she should be smaller so he can be taller.  He might have cosplayed as a dependable dude for a few years, but ultimately he reverted back to his default.

Flash forward to the beginning of the movie, where we finally discover that Nick had been released from prison and Fanny would find out the state of their relationship before she went on stage.  She warns Ziegfeld that if Nick wants to give it another shot she's going to quit the show, because being a housewife will be the only thing to placate Nick's fragile masculinity.  Thankfully she doesn't need to keep that promise, because when the pair are finally reunited she can tell by his behavior that this dude is about to drop the hammer.  Fanny preemptively ends things, and then goes on stage to sing about her heartbreak.

The end of the movie differs from the musical in a pretty significant way as Fanny belts a lament for the end of her marriage.  Barbra insisted singing the vocals at the end of the song live, and had Omar Sharif recite the line "You are beautiful" to her before each take to make her more emotional. It worked - I cry every time I watch the end of this movie.

"My Man" was a song the real-life Fanny Brice popularized in the Ziegfeld Follies Broadway show, which is the only reason it appears here, ending this depressing story on a weak downbeat that legitimately shocked me when the credits rolled.  In the Funny Girl musical, Fanny goes through a variety of emotions that reprise the songs in the show - bitter and sad, but ultimately victorious with a powerful rendition of "Don't Rain on My Parade."  I can only attribute this change as the beginning of the 1970s bummer parade of weird musicals that make you want to slit your wrists on the way out.

And if this wasn't enough, several years later they filmed a sequel to this, Funny Lady, about Fanny Brice's relationship with her second husband Billy Rose, who was just as shitty of a partner as Nick Arnstein was. Their marriage also ends in divorce, so if you want to watch the same movie as Funny Girl but with a clunkier script just to get 10 minutes of Omar Sharif reprising his role as Nicky being as sleezebaggy as ever, don't bother. It's not worth it.

Funny Girl is a show that will forever be associated with Barbra, to the point where its protagonist Fanny is more of a fictionalized character than a real-life previously-breathing human being. This movie is fairly entertaining, although it clearly reflects the ideals of its time. If you like Barbra, it's a must-see. If not, avoid it at all costs, cause there's nothing else here other than her.

Except a hunky Omar Sharif being stupidly charming. There is also that.

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