#why is twitter quality so Trash bro

[kristiliqua]

haha jk .,,,,, Unless 😳 ?

[dokidokitsuna]

...I just remembered I wanted to make my own statement on the AI thing. ^^;

So you've probably heard, but in case you haven't: Tumblr just sold out everyone's data to the AI trash compactors, they probably did it long before they gave us the option to opt out, and even if you do opt out they're probably still taking and using your work anyway (telling people to opt out instead of actually asking for their permission is already scummy business practice, but when it comes to AI it's functionally meaningless. :/ It's always "well, we're telling them not to use these people's data and we're hoping they'll be nice and go along with it" with no regulations or consequences if they decide to just steal everything indiscriminately...)

Despite that, I am not leaving Tumblr anytime soon. I'm looking into other sites*, but at this moment in time, I have nowhere else to go. ^^; Besides, I still like it here. When I left DeviantArt I was already getting sick of the place, having my art stolen regularly by "fans" and paradoxically getting less and less interest in my work over time. By the time the devs turned the website into eye-blinding slop with Eclipse, I was more than ready to move on.

But I still enjoy using Tumblr. I like writing long text posts that no one would bother to read anywhere else, I like answering asks, and I like the unique sense of humor and style among the users here. ^^ It would take a lot to force me out.

Also, I can take a little solace in the fact that AI-bros do not value "low-quality" art like mine. ^^; If messy cel-shaded sketches with visible pixels ever become popular, then I'll worry, but for now I think it's highly unlikely that anyone will want to wholesale regurgitate my art. If anything, I think prioritizing it in their datasets would only make them worse...and on that note, if you do have "high quality" detailed/painterly/semi-realistic art that would be targeted, I'd recommend 'poisoning' it with Nightshade/Glaze. Although I heard a rumor a while back that AI is "building immunity" to Nightshade and already learning to work around it, but I'm really hoping that was just a wishful lie from the trash compactors themselves. I haven't heard it repeated since then, so I think it's still worth a shot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So anyway, like the post I reblogged said, I think the best thing we can do now is to make it clear that WE DON'T WANT AI ART. We don't care how easy it'll be to instantly generate thousands of hours of mindless 'content' to look at; we don't want it. Since regulation is lagging so far behind (wanna know why Disney's copyright hounds didn't shut this down on sight? Most likely, they're hoping to profit from it down the line) the only way to fight this right now is with individual litigation and consumer demand.

Don't support projects made with AI**; don't hate-watch them or spotlight them. Focus your energy on the millions of human artists who are still here, and need your support now more than ever.

*I've heard people mention moving to Twitter and/or Artstation: fam, you're jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. ^^;;; IIRC, Arstation was one of the FIRST art sites to start flirting with AI, and Twitter has been selling off its users' data for several months already. Go there if you must, but don't go under the impression that it's "safer".

**Please keep a cool head when discussing AI art, and keep in mind that it used to mean something other than "mass theft". Artists have and still do create AI tools that are built on limited data sets with permission/compensation, that are used to aid them in their work and encourage human artistry (Vocaloids and DAW's, for instance) rather than stamp it out. Until a specific word evolves into popular use for exploitative AI, we're kinda stuck with this confusion, so remember to get the facts before you speak out.

P.S. Praying every night that this is a dumb fad that will soon die and go to the same hell as NFTs. >_< Praying every morning that the influx of AI art into its own datasets will eventually corrupt itself and make it useless. >_< >_< Praying every afternoon for both at once! >_< >_< >_< Like to charge, reblog to cast, all that

[bubblyhoney]

sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

-

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

-

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]

[watsername]

You know tiktok and twitter activism is performative af solely by looking at their opinions on SHEIN.

This time last year it was condemned for being low quality fast fashion that was seriously damaging the environment and that exploited their workers by paying them wages that did not match the work they did

This year everyone loves it. Everything you buy is from SHEIN. Everything promoted by tiktok and twitter fashion gurus is from SHEIN. People are spending HUNDREDS on SHEIN clothing and it’s just ending up in thrust stores only to be tossed in the trash 2 wears later. Everyone was suddenly okay with its environmental impact and the treatment of its workers because they could get a rip off Chanel fit for £20.

Large social media platforms have a huge issue with performative activism, the issues that they talk about and spread awareness of come and go in almost a trend-like fashion, until enough time has passed for them to fixate on a new issue and promptly forget about the one they had posted about the previous month.

It’s a continuous theme in a lot of areas of activism on these platforms

- last year everyone had blm carrds in their bios, this year both platforms are rife with anti blackness

- in June everyone was so supportive of sexual and gender identity, now we’re dealing with exclusion and ‘gold stars’ and ‘what makes you ACTUALLY lgbt’

- people becoming ignorant of problematic behaviour from celebs and creators (I’m not talking about people who have a know their mistakes and taken accountability, we’re talking tiktokers who fake cry on live as their apology for saying the n word or exploit dances or clothing or trends started by black creators cough Addison cough)

-cancel culture. Not fact checking anything they see and taking it all literally. Spreading misinformation because it got a lot of likes. That’s all that has to be said.

- talking about the dangers of harassment and online etiquette and going and harassing, insulting, threatening anyone who doesn’t agree with them

The last one isn’t really activism but it’s annoying af

Bro this is why I can’t take either of these apps seriously. People just jump on and say what they need to say to get the brownie points and then carry on as if the issue stopped existing when it went out of fashion. tumblr isnt much better ngl, I’m just more active here and have less performative dicks on my dash. But we are home to TERFS and exclusionists and probably nazis galore. It’s a shithole.

As a sidenote I’m not trying to say that people are inherently evil for buying from fast fashion brands, it’s affordable and works for people on low income, I’m just saying where did the concern for the impact of mass consumption fast fashion go??

[atsushishelteredinmoonlitjasmine]

Fire Emblem: Awakening Thoughts

As of the date May 20th, 2020, I finished my playthrough of Fire Emblem: Awakening on its one year anniversary of when I got it. It is now June 5th of writing this. This post will be my thoughts and feelings on Awakening, much like the KH3 Grievances and Blessings post last year. Let's get into some history between me and Fire Emblem before I go into Awakening.

As I've said before, Awakening was both my first Fire Emblem game and my first Tactical RPG. Smash Bros. was where I had heard of Fire Emblem but it wouldn't be until Ultimate came out that I would start to get interested. It was because of my friend's preference for Lucina that got me into playing as her in Smash and that's pretty much how she became both one of my mains and a favorite. It honestly wasn't till I listened to the Smash remixes of Id, Conquest, and Lost in Thoughts All Alone that I decided to play Awakening and then Fates. So thanks go out to both Smash and my friend Eric for converting me to Fire Emblem trash!

Much like the KH3 Grievances and Blessings post, I'll be going over every aspect of Awakening I can think of, from the graphics to the gameplay to the story. I'll even include a Best/Worst Girl and Boy of both generations because that kind of thing seems to matter to some people, along with my reasons for why X is Y. Keep in mind that whoever I choose as those categories, it is just my opinion and you're free to disagree with me. I say this because I know that, no matter what I say, some diehard fans will get pissed at me and come at me for daring to shit on their favorite character. I already know some people are gonna get mad because they think X should be Best/Worst and that'll be fun to see (You can interpret that as sarcasm if you want).

Listed below are Awakening spoilers, so if you want to play the game and don't want to be spoiled, now's your chance to stop reading. I know Awakening came out in 2013, meaning 6 or 7 years ago, but there may be some people who haven't gotten around to playing it yet so I want to be courteous to them. Here are my thoughts on Fire Emblem: Awakening!

First off, the graphics. I think they looked really nice for a 3DS game that came out in the early 2010's and I believe this was Fire Emblem's first fully 3D game as well so that's really impressive. The in-game models were nicely detailed, the in-game sprites were nice looking, and the prerendered cutscenes were beautiful. This doesn't mean they're not without their faults, though. I wish the in-game cutscenes were more animated because it's easy to tell when an animation's been used over and over again, I feel as if the in-game sprites have some dissonance with official art, and there are times where expressions or animations for the prerendered cutscenes have looked pretty awkward. In terms of the first and last point, I'm giving IntSys some slack because, as I stated earlier, they were developing a game for the 3DS, a powerful handheld device but it's still a handheld, and this was FE's first 3D game so there may have been issues transitioning from 2D sprites to 3D models. I'll explain what I mean by my second point. I've looked at Cynthia's official art and when I see her face, I tend to see what I'd call a baby face, pudgy cheeks and all. Her in-game sprite, however, her face is sharper, more mature, if that makes sense. Maybe it's the pigtails throwing me off or it's just a difference between two art styles, I don't know. I'm not an artist so there's not much weight behind this but I'm just saying there's somewhat a dissonance between official art and in-game sprites.

Secondly, gameplay. I loved how easy it was and how I could switch between a simple and complex UI if I wanted to see which attacks could hit or what the enemy's stats were. This may sound stupid but I honestly thought it'd be way more difficult due to this being a Tactical RPG. I know strategy's a big part of Fire Emblem but strategy's not a big problem if you're like me and you grind to hell and back. Speaking of which, I played on Easy Casual mode so that might be why it seemed so simple from the get-go. Just to give you an idea of how much I grinded, I put in 200+ hours and that mostly consisted of buying a shitton of Reeking Boxes, spawning Risen on some of my favorite grind spots, and fighting them over and over again. I went through the 3 basic classes each character could have, maxed out their default class one last time, promoted them to their advanced class, and maxed out those classes 2-3 times over. I have a video on my Twitter that shows the stats of these characters and most of them are over 220 (The shapeshifters 300). Needless to say, I loved each and every fucking crit I got. Cordelia even got what I call a miracle crit, which means she got 2 crits in one round and after the enemy attacked, she got another 2 crits. Level grind ain't a joke in this game.

Thirdly, the music. Considering it's part of why I got into this game in the first place, I loved it. As I'm writing this, I'm listening to the OST and it sounds so much better when you don't have the ambient sounds and you're not listening to it through the 3DS speakers. The song that hit me the most and just gave me the overwhelming feels was Id~Sorrow as it played in Chapter 21. It fit so well with the tone of the scene and I just sat there for a few minutes, letting it play in the background as I did shit. Other notable mentions are Id~Purpose, Destiny, Conquest, and the song that is just ellipses. If the music is this good in Awakening, I can't wait to see what's in store for Fates!

Fourthly, the voice acting. For a game where most of the voices come in forms of clips, I thought they were good. Each of the actors tried their best to convey their characters in the clips they were allowed to have and I think it shows. The only critique I have, and it's not the actors' fault, is that some of the characters' voices don't fit them. I'm not saying they miscast these characters, it's more like the direction was off, if that makes sense. Let me bring up Cynthia, Kjelle, and M!Morgan as examples. I don't think it's a stretch to say that, sometimes when you look at a character, you kinda imagine what they'd sound like before you hear their actual voice, right? I already brought up Cynthia's looks so I imagined her voice to sound very high-pitched and maybe a little childlike. I hear her voice and, while she's high-pitched and some of her voice clips do go into that childlike territory, she's nasally sounding and more mature. Kjelle is a complicated case in that, her voice fits her appearance (minus the armor) but not her personality. Her personality is similar to Sully's so I figured her voice would sound gruffer and not...cute, if that's the right word. M!Morgan's, I think, everyone can see the problem with. He's supposed to be the youngest of the kids, right? Since he's the only third generation character and all that? I think he just sounds a little too old for the supposed baby of the kids. Again, I'm not saying the voices are bad or that the delivery/emotion was bad, I just think the direction in which they were voiced don't fit some of the characters. Maybe I'm just thinking in terms of archetypes or something.

Now we move on to the story. I can't say as to whether it was good or not, mainly because I spoiled myself on it way before I decided on playing Awakening, so I don't think I can say much to the quality. The least I'll say is it's serviceable. I'll admit, the one thing I was shocked by was the appearance of the Grima Avatar because I thought Grima was inside Robin the whole time and I didn't think he'd have a separate vessel. I straight up thought Grima!Robin was either my mother or a twin I wasn't aware of so I'm giving credit to the writers for surprising me. Anyway, I think the only flaw I have with the story is with the pacing. I thought the first half was fine, it wasn't too fast or too slow. It was the second half that the pacing couldn't find a middle ground. Now I'm going to say that this half was stretched out over months of my playtime so whatever I say next might be exaggerated because of my procrastinating ass so... I feel like the Valm arc was way too slow and the Grimleal arc had so much trouble finding a middle ground. The beginning of the Grimleal arc was quick but Grima himself decided that I had to finish 2 and a half chapters before I finally got to beat him and you have to deal with constant reinforcements before you kill off the target. I think if it weren't for my overleveled as fuck units, I wouldn't have finished Awakening in time for my birthday.

Just for shits and giggles, I'm gonna say what I picked for my choice with both Luce's judgement and Grima's fate. I picked the self-sacrificial choices, which means I accepted Luce's judgement and allowed her to kill me and I dealt the final blow to Grima so Chrom didn't have to. While I knew the outcomes of both choices and them ultimately not meaning anything, I wanted my Robin to reflect what I would've done and I'm a very self-sacrificial person. Because I made Chrobin happen in my playthrough, which meant Luce was my daughter, I believe that, if my child who came from an apocalyptic world told me I was the reason for that happening and that she came back through time to stop that future from happening so she and the others wouldn't suffer, I would've let her kill me. Parents would and should do anything for their kids and if my death possibly gave my daughter the chance for a better life, I'd take it in stride. As for me dealing the final blow to Grima, if it was to save everyone I loved, I would've done it. Although there's some feelings of wanting to give a big "Fuck you" to Grima and to permanently end the problem so any future descendants wouldn't have to deal with it. This section may sound more philosophical and personal than I usually write but I think it deserved it.

Now we're on to Supports and who I chose to be together. I don't think it's wrong to say that this is where the characters really get to shine and it's because of the Supports I love these kids and how much I'm going to miss them when I move on to other FE games. As for the "canon" couples, I mainly went with characters that I thought would complement each other and this was one of the few things I tried to choose for myself. I tried my best to go for pairings that weren't fan favorites but I'm also not very connected with the fandom as of writing this so I may be completely wrong in which ships were favorites or not. So here are the pairings I got for my playthrough!

Chrom-Robin

Frederick-Sumia

Virion-Miriel

Vaike-Nowi

Stahl-Sully

Lon'qu-Cordelia

Ricken-Lissa

Gaius-Maribelle

Gregor-Cherche

Libra-Panne

Henry-Olivia

Lucina-Inigo

Owain-Cynthia

Brady-Nah

Kjelle-Laurent

Severa-Yarne

Obviously, there are some characters missing from this list and I can explain why. I didn't recruit Kellam and Tharja and it's because your girl is a dumbass. Kellam, I thought, was already on my team, he was just labelled as an ally so I didn't need to recruit him. They really should've made that clear. Tharja, on the other hand, was an even bigger dumbass than me because she decided to charge after Robin, who happened to be in front and was way overleveled, and got her ass promptly beaten with a crit. I regret not getting Kellam but after hearing how awful of a person Tharja is and how many fans are willing to put aside emotional abuse and stalker-like tendencies to have a chance to fuck her, she can stay buried in the sand where I electrocuted her ass. Unfortunately, this does means Noire didn't pop up in my recruitment list and that fucking sucks. The only characters left I didn't have a pairing were Gerome and Morgan. I think Gerome wouldn't really care for a romantic partner because he's all about not wanting to create ties in this time and shit and, since I see Morgan as the baby of the kids, I figured he'd be a little too young to be in a relationship. Despite that, I wish I got him and Nah together because I found out after she was shipped with Brady that Morgan's the only S-Support she'll say "I love you" to and I was immediately filled with regret.

Before I move on to the Best/Worst contest, there's something I need to bring up because I can see what sensible fans have shown now. This game is HELLA gay. Like, holy fuck, how many instances are there where you have two characters of the same sex and they have dialogue that seems to have been written with romantic intent but the writers decide it's meant to be platonic? Maybe I just have this weird line of thought on how straights are because there's no fucking way some of these gay moments would be a thing with even the most accepting straights. Maribelle calling Lissa darling and other pet names, Robin blushing from some of the girls and even mistaking Flavia's proposition for a marriage proposal, Severa looking at Kjelle's abs, the list goes on. I'm not straight because I'd be doing some of this shit with a potential girlfriend if I could! Why did it take IntSys until 3 Houses to implement LGBT+ pairings when this game is right here?! At least this game doesn't have the weird student/teacher relationships 3H has and believe me when I say that, if it weren't for the fact I could give less of a fuck for 3H, I wouldn't play that game for that reason! Anyway, Awakening is hella gay and it should've been the first LGBT+ FE game instead of 3H.

The Best/Worst contest... As I said in the beginning, there'll be a Best/Worst Boy and Girl for both generations because that's fun and it seems to matter a lot to some people. Repeating what I said, this is just my opinion and you're free to agree or disagree with me. One rule I'm putting in is I will try my best to not pick fan favorites. Don't get me wrong when some of the crowd pleasers are good but there are other characters that deserve just as much love as the fan favorites so this is why I'm putting in this rule. Without further ado, here are the rulings!

1st Gen

Best Boy-Lon'qu

Best Girl-Panne

Worst Boy-Virion

Worst Girl-Miriel

2nd Gen

Best Boy-Owain

Best Girl-Cynthia

Worst Boy-Inigo

Worst Girl-Severa

Let's see how many people I piss off with these judgements. So, my reasoning: Best Boy for 1st gen was a big toss-up. I kept wanting to choose between Chrom, Frederick, Stahl, and Lon'qu because they really endeared themselves to me but I chose Lon'qu in the end because he's honestly such a dork (I mean, all of them are) and I gotta admire how he tries to overcome his fear of women and try being there for his wife and daughter if he happens to have one. There's also the fact he has to literally psyche himself up to talk to women if you check in with him in the Barracks and I'm just like "Fucking hell, that's adorable and I GET it". Best girl is Panne because believe me when I say that the moment I see this woman and hear her voice, I'm immediately gay for her. Then she transforms into a giant rabbit, kicks so much ass, and I'm in love. Funny story, I'd talk to my friend about my progress in Awakening on Discord and the moment he asks me who best girl was and I answered Panne, he called me out for being a furry. Granted, I would've automatically said Luce but I'm trying not to pick fan favorites so I get his criticism. If a woman like Panne existed in real life, bunny ears and tail and all, I'd probably become a furry for her, no questions asked. As for worst boy and girl, Virion and Miriel are characters I honestly don't give much of a fuck about. Not that they're bad, I just don't care about their archetypes, if that makes sense. Miriel I found to be boring and Virion's of the Casanova archetype and I've always kinda hated that archetype so that's why they're on the ranking.

Oh boy, 2nd gen. So, best boy being Owain. This boy is going to kill me. He's so adorable and sweet and he's just a good boy. There are literally Tweets on my Twitter where I just gush about him and he deserves so much love. He's just a sweet boy who loves his parents so much and is so proud to be their son and how he manages to rope his cousins (Luce and Morgan) into going with his fantasies and how they just go along with it! Owain is a cinnabun and I want to protect him and love him. Anyway, best girl being Cynthia is sorta the same reason as Owain. She's just so bubbly and happy and just adorable. Yeah, she may get carried away with showboating but I just love her earnest desire to be a hero. I think everyone can see why I paired Owain and Cynthia up. Now for the worst. Inigo and Severa are probably the only characters in this whole game that straight up got on my fucking nerves and for different reasons. Outside of his supports with Olivia and Henry, Inigo's constant flirting with the girls and Robin and inability to take no for an answer just rubbed me the wrong way. I actually put out a Tweet saying how Inigo's like an r/niceguy and I still think he is one. Course, this doesn't mean I didn't have my fair share of laughs from him. I fucking died at his and Gerome's A-Support where he ends up pathetically crying after the emo loner got more game than him and Gerome has to comfort his ass, that was hilarious. It also helped the fact that Liam O'Brien, who I've only heard him as the brooding emo loner role, voiced Inigo as the complete opposite of that and I had a blast. Severa, on the other hand, was...really unpleasant. There's a reason I hate Tsunderes with a passion and it's because they're unnecessarily bitchy towards everyone they know, even if they have no reason to be. Severa, however, was somehow worse because she went out of her way to be horrible to people. My dislike for her was cemented the moment I saw her and Cynthia's C-Support and she chose to make fun of her, despite Cynthia minding her own business and Severa just going "fuck it". However, I should express that I understand why Inigo and Severa are the way they are and that's why I'm not being as harsh on them as I could be. They still have their good moments and I can appreciate them while also raking them over the coals.

So that concludes my review/experience of Fire Emblem: Awakening! Despite some moments of frustration and annoyance, I had fun playing this! I mean it when I say I'm gonna miss these kids but I had plenty of time to spend with them so it's time to move on to newer lands. Next up on the list is Fates and I think I'm siding with Hoshido first. It's funny how, despite me spoiling the story for myself 3 separate times, I still can't remember much, if any, of it so that may say something about the quality. I also know Fates is pretty divisive among the fandom but the thing I know it for is the weird pseudo-incestuous ships it has so that's going to be fun! Hopefully, I'll get around to playing as one of my other mains in Smash, my water horse dragon Corrin, sometime soon and I'll be sure to let everyone know when my journey will start!

[demyrie]

On Comment Culture (fandom/fanfic/AO3/I’m an old)

It’s so fascinating to see the change in comment culture in fandom and the different stigmas or expectations associated with responding to comments over the years. In this essay? In this essay.

(Disclaimer: obviously creators and platforms had different subcultures of communication as well as social norms -- this is my experience and could help inform others of my ilk why some stuff is confusing them!)

Back in My Day! (Early Ots)

On FF.net, we responded to comments in the Notes but it was a hot mess. ohhhhh what a mess, shit, we had it pulled up in two different web browsers and were copy-pasting complicated screen names and ... wow. It was peak shout-out culture, keyboard smashing, and it was a thrill to see your s/n and get a WHATS UP OMG THANKS ^_^ ^_^ XD XD LOLZ in the Notes section. Wow. WowOmgLOL!!11111

Though I missed the boat on that platform, I know on LiveJournal it was a bit more back and forth because of the blog/thread structure and a hearty “thanks!” was always appreciated, and it was definitely a good way to find friends with common interests, but it was all super happenstance and unstructured. Just folks havin’ fun with few expectations.

Between Now and Then (and Including Then)

Look, fandom olds back me up on this. Responses were nice, but you still DIDN’T want to be the person who responded to every single comment because it showed ego -- you were obviously trolling your own page and leaping thirstily at every little keyboard smash, just wanting attention etc etc and you had to like ... chill. Author responses to big, overwhelming comments were appreciated but by no means expected. 

Authors who responded to every single comment were childish and cared more about the attention than anything, and/or were wrongfully inflating their comment counts (which is commonly seen as a more "accurate" rating of a fics quality than likes). That kind of cult popularity status, and the diva creators, became tiring really quickly because this was about STORIES damnit. Give me your STORY stop making this about YOU and clogging up the A/N with nonsense responses longer than the actual CHAPTER! AHHHH! (Fandom olds back me up on this? Or maybe just ... old Virgos...?)

Now

As a fandom old reintroduced to the fanfic environ a year ago, I realized there’s a comment/discussion culture in AO3 where responses to comments are more or less expected and discussion is super common, where it’s never been before. 

We never had the “facilities” for back-and-forth discussion on most fanfic servers (lj excepted) and so, as a fandom old, I get perturbed when I see a “[AO3] Response to your comment!” in my inbox because I’m scratching my head like ... that was for you. I made those words and gave them to you because I loved your writing. Why are you saying something back???? Did I say something wrong??? Why would you take the time to ...???? ***CONSTERNATION****

99% of the time it’s literally just people being jubilant and appreciating my appreciation, and of course I get really jazzed whenever 1) a personal friend yells back at me over their fic because then we’re just fuckin’ stanning in public or 2) a writer I really admire waves at me, but it still throws me for a loop because the expectations are just so different now. It’s more like a chat room than an "altruistic" (right word?) review based solely on the content/enjoyment of the fic, where people actively expect and then become disappointed or feel jilted when they don’t receive personal feedback from the creator. It seems to be a strong enough social expectation that, when unmet, it may determine whether the person comments in the future. So, like, to me, that is wild, but I’ve also been absent for about 7 years so ... life (fandom) finds a way, right?

With that culture shift in mind, I wanna say that I can’t respond to comments pretty much ... ever now, and for a variety of reasons :(

Mostly, it’s time and energy, because I’m SO GODDAMN BLESSED and have so many sweet folks reading my BNHA dad trash and OH I’m so lucky but also, wow time management and stress and Not Very Adult but Try So Hard OK. It’s definitely fun to play that way, and interact, but it takes a staggering amount of energy over time and quickly becomes an unmet expectation in my mind that triggers my anxiety like Boy Howdy when I’m already juggling stuff. Which in turn affects my ability to write, which in turn affects my ability to participate in fandom, which in turn ... [that whistling noise that accompanies Warner Bros. characters falling off a cliff]

So! Just because I don’t respond directly to your comments doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your appreciation, young fanfic folks! 

I understand that we’re speaking different languages sometimes. I was not part of your culture and i don’t have the resources to assimilate seamlessly, but I do hope you enjoy my work in your own way! Go for it! Read and then fap, read and do the dishes, talk about it to your friends or just smile and log off and go to sleep! Fandom, for me, is about enjoying things, so enjoy enjoy enjoy <3

That’s why we do this, after all. We tell stories that we want to see and delight in others delighting, and for those who are inclined, comments are always SO inspiring to your fandom creators -- long essays, keyboard smashing, all of the above <3 <3 They are crack. They are the most likely chemical reagent that will lead to a product of More (excited) Content. They help us feel appreciated for the work that we do, they help us feel motivated to continue to do that same work, and they make us scream real loud, and we love you for even the weirdest, 3am, redbull rant ... even if, per expectations, we don’t get to answer all of them.

Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for fanning with me!!! I love writing BDSM dads and have had no fewer than 1.3M comments of people spilling their hearts to me about their personal experiences in a way that makes me ugly sob and just feel so crushingly grateful??? 

So thank you. I’m so happy in this fandom and appreciate you all so much! So!!! THANK YOU <3 

I dearly hope you and I cross in a tumblr or twitter barrage someday and I get to personally thank you for reading and/or commenting, but for now, take this utterly accurate depiction of my love for you (you’re the one biting my face, sorry to @ you but it’s true):

[saiyuki]

dhbat#8.1-8.5

TL of hpmi dhbat manga beat 8.1-8.5, all done by me. these are not 1:1 TLs.

these were first posted on twitter in december 2020-january 2021.

any form of repost is prohibited. sharing a link to this post is allowed—i translated these chapters in order to help readers understand the manga as they read. don’t forget to purchase the chapters (legally!) to support the mangaka!

#8.1 | read this chapter here

We start Beat 8 with a scene of Rosho (22) in an exam. Then we see him on his sofa at home, watching the TV. Someone says that food is ready, and Rosho sees Sasara on TV - then he turns the TV off. Then we see Rei (42) lighting a smoke in the Kotonoha Party HQ. Otome (45) snatches the cig away from him. OTOME: Smoking is forbidden here. REI: Add an exception for Amayado Rei-sama to that rule. OTOME: ...you didn't come here to talk about meaningless things. Please quickly get to the real issue. REI: There's nothing meaningless in this world. Talking to each other, understanding each other's selves and becoming close to each other can influence work, isn't that right? OTOME: I have no intentions to become close to you. Being unable to work together without being close, that is just dependency. REI: Fine, fine~ I'm just a spoiled brat then. OTOME: You're wasting time, so please start talking. REI: So how's the preparations on your end? OTOME: Everything is going well. We are not lagging behind even by 1%. We have also secured excellent party members.   REI: That's wise. It's better to choose quality over quantity. Anyhow, as long as you have hypnosis mics, you can turn the table even when you're at a disadvantage. OTOME: And how about your end? REI: No problem. I just need to get on with the mass production. OTOME: And how about the mics that are being developed by the army? REI: No problems either... compared to those that I've perfected, theirs inflict a big load on the users. Even brawny soldiers can't easily manifest speakers. That's why you don't need to worry. ...and with that, this Old Man's going to take his leave now. OTOME: ...what are you scheming this time? REI: Oh? Didn't you say you weren't up for idle chatter? It's just minor stuff. Then we return to Rosho. He's talking to an interviewer. INTERVIEWER: The results of your exam was good, so there should are no problems with the admission. This interview is to formalize that. ROSHO: I understand. INTERVIEWER: ...this is a question out of curiosity, but why did you quit being a comedian? ROSHO: ... INTERVIEWER: Well, if you don't want to answer... ROSHO: I don't think I have the talent to be one. INTERVIEWER: Well, that kind of thing is... ROSHO: ...In front of those with actual talent, fakes stand no chance. INTERVIEWER: And why did you decide to become a teacher? ROSHO: ...

#8.2 | read this chapter here

Rosho is sitting at a park bench, holding a piece of paper. Apparently he wasn't able to get the job he was applying for. He throws the paper away into a trash basket. Rosho remembers the interviewer asking him why he wanted to be a teacher. ROSHO: Even if you ask me why... Rosho suddenly hears two guys conversing near him. Apparently they're practicing a comedy routine. GUY 1: Knock it off~ GUY 1 & 2: Thank you very much~! Rosho takes a look at the two guys.   ROSHO: (They're... high schoolers?) GUY 1: Anyway, Machida~ why do you say things that don't really mean anything when you adlib? MACHIDA: Things that don't mean anything? I think they're interesting though... Rosho listens to their conversation, and he suddenly remembers Sasara's words: "I think it's good to have a perspective that differs from the norm! But yanno, if you only see things through that perspective, you won't align well with the audience." GUY 1: Let me tell ya, it ain't that interesting! Rosho sits up and walks by the two bickering guys and repeats Sasara's words. ROSHO: I think it's good to have a perspective that differs from the norm. GUY 1 & MACHIDA: Ah! Tsutsujimori Rosho from Dotsuitare Honpo! Whoa, ain't you the real thing! The two guys talk to Rosho about their ambitions. ROSHO: So you two want to become comedians. HIRAYAMA YUMETO (in charge of tsukkomi): Yes! ...but this guy's sense is way off, it's troubling. MACHIDA IZOU (in charge of boke): You think so... Rosho takes off his glasses. ROSHO: This thing. What's this? Hirayama answers "Glasses!", and at the same time Machida answers "Those are lenses!". HIRAYAMA: Listen here, you! There's prolly only one idiot out of a thousand who'd answer "lenses". ROSHO: ...nah, that'd be your biggest asset. As Hirayama said, 999 out of 1000 would've answered glasses... but there's more than 1000 wannabe comedians. If you think in the same way as everyone does, you'll only get buried. Machida, you're a genius among a thousand guys. MACHIDA: (embarrassed) Ah, that's... ROSHO: That's one thing, but if you only see things through that perspective, it'll just slip away from the audience. And that's where Hirayama plays his part. HIRAYAMA: Eh, me?! ROSHO: You'll balance this guy when he his jokes slip too far from the audience. If  you do that, you'll turn out with an interesting manzai that most others won't even think of. HIRAYAMA/MACHIDA: I see! ROSHO: (Ain't that right, Sasara?) ...well, best of luck. I'll be cheering for you two from the back.   HIRAYAMA: Um! We'll be performing in a High School Manzai Competition. Please watch us if you're fine with it! MACHIDA: Please do! ROSHO: ...yeah, gotcha. We see a scene change. This time, we see a high rise office building in the city. Rei approaches the building, its door guarded by two guys. REI: This is... Stairway to Heaven.

#8.3 | read this chapter here

We see Shitou Mozuku, a representative member from Stairway to Heaven, in a room, talking to Ichiro (16 y.o). MOZUKU: As expected. You did good collection work this month too. Your team is the best at increasing profit.   Mozuku gives Ichiro an envelope. MOZUKU: I've added extras more than usual. I look forward to working with you from now on as well... Ichiro-kun. ICHIRO: Yessir... Ichiro stands up and bids his leave, but Mozuku calls out to him. MOZUKU: Right, Ichiro-kun. You stand out too much, so please be careful. ...well, but since it's you, you should be fine. We follow Ichiro walk outside, and three mobs approach him. MOB 1: Hey. Lend us your mug obediently, Yamada Ichiro. ICHIRO: Ah? MOB 1: You alright with whatever happening to your bros? From a nearby alley, Rei is watching the mobs take Ichiro away. REI: Hmm... We proceed to a room filled with smoke.   MOB 4: Those guys, aren't they late? They're just out to catch two brats, what are they having a hard time for? Even though that Ichiro guy is arriving soon. Someone opens the door and says, "Those guys ain't coming no matter how long you wait." The mob from earlier goes "ah?!"— Apparently it's Rei arriving. MOB 4: Who are you, old man?! REI: Those guys you want to bump off... I can't have them dead. No grudges against you guys, but— Rei pulls out a hypnosis mic! REI: —drop dead. A short while later, we see the three mobs and Ichiro arrive. ICHIRO: You won't lay any hands on those two from here, aren't you...!! MOB 1: Who knows. Blame yourself for standing out too much if you gotta blame anyone. Mob 1 opens the door to the room with the three other mobs earlier—surely enough, the three are all knocked out. MOB 1: The hell's this! What the hell happened... MOB 4: A weird old... man... Ichiro taks the chance to punch Mob 1 from the back and knock him out. In no time, he manages to take out the other two mobs. He sees that one of the mobs in the room have a paper sticked to his forehead (LOL). Ichiro snatches the paper (envelope?) away from his face. Written on it is "To Ichiro. Yamada Rei" Ichiro crushes the paper with his fists.

#8.4 | read this chapter here 

Ichiro crushes the envelope he got from Rei and tears it to shreds with his hands without opening it. We see Rei walking in the city outside. REI: ...You're quite naive yourself. Ichiro. Next, we proceed to the National High School Manzai Competition. Machida and Hirayama are performing as a duo. HIRAYAMA: Good day! MACHIDA: We're Greenhorn Riot! HIRAYAMA: we'll be performing bakushou manzai[1]. MACHIDA: ...before that, everyone, do you know how the kanji laugh (笑) came to be? HIRAYAMA: Oi oi, don't just butt in like that! 's not like it's important. MACHIDA: The kanji 笑 has a takekanmuri[2] spreading out its arms. Then the people who wondered how the lower half is read, they saw it as a shrine maiden dancing. HIRAYAMA: And what about it. MACHIDA: In other words, the kanji 笑 means 'to bring laughter to the gods'. ...'s why, the audience here's all gods today! HIRAYAMA: This guy's such a dark-n-deep jester! MACHIDA: Well then, today's skit is 'God's A Jerk'! HIRAYAMA: Don't "well then" me! And what's with that change of character?! The audience is roaring with laughter... of course, Rosho, who is watching them, is also laughing. After the event is finished, Rosho goes to the backstage to find Hirayama and Machida. He was just about to knock the Greenhorn Riot's preps room, but he notes that someone is already in there talking to the duo. We see Machida's mom talking to the duo, and a runner up trophy awarded to the duo. MACHIDA'S MOM: You promised to stop being a comedian and go to university if you can't win this competition. MACHIDA: I... I don't want to. I won't give up being a comedian! Won't you give me some more time, Mom?! MACHIDA'S MOM: If you can't even win here, going pro is definitely impossible. It's quite unfortunate for Hirayama, but... HIRAYAMA: No... I can't even think of being manzai partners with anyone else!   MACHIDA'S MOM: That kid has no talent. HIRAYAMA: That's not true! He's a one in a million, no, a hundred million kind of genius! MACHIDA'S MOM: I don't get what you're saying.... Rosho opens the door, and Machida's mom goes "Who are you?" ROSHO: What you're saying is reasonable, but please don't stop these these two's dreams. MACHIDA'S MOM: ...please don't butt into our family problems when you're just an outsider. ROSHO: I know I'm just an outsider, but I have something to say about these two. I was a comedian myself until recently, but I quit because I realized the limits of my talent. MACHIDA'S MOM: Aren't you just agreeing with me, then? ROSHO: No... it's because I gave up that I don't want these two to give up too. MACHIDA'S MOM: I don't understand. What is it that you want to say? You're butting into people's matters! ROSHO: I...! [1] Takekanmuri refers to the radical ⺮ found in the kanji 笑 [2] 'Bakushou' refers to laughter of the audience. Basically they perform a skit, and at a given time (f.ex after a tsukkomi) the audience gets time to laugh.

#8.5 | read this chapter here

Rosho remembers the interviewer who asked him about why he wants to become a teacher. ROSHO: (I see... my dreams didn't come true, but...) ROSHO: (...I can support someone else's dreams!) Those two have the right to pursue their dreams! MACHIDA'S MOM: I don't want his future to be wasted! ROSHO: That's not it! Whether or not someone's future is wasted, it's not for the parents to decide, but the individual himself! MACHIDA'S MOM: ... ROSHO: For sure, it's a tough industry (they will be facing). I can't say they will definitely succeed. But even so, that's not a reason for them to give up on their dreams! We see panels of flashbacks of when Rosho was struggling with his slump as Sasara's comedy duo, his stage fright, and him telling Sasara that he wants to give up being a comedian. ROSHO: The experiences they gain from now on will definitely have a purpose in the future. Instead of giving up and living with half-hearted feelings, all the time... Rosho bows down with a tearful face. ROSHO: I beg of you! Please don't take these guys' dreams away from them! Our newbie comedy duo also bows following Rosho. HIRAYAMA: I... I'm also asking for the same thing! MACHIDA: Mom! Please, this is my lifelong wish! MACHIDA'S MOM: ... She turns her back and leaves the room. MACHIDA: Mom...! MACHIDA'S MOM: ...I have one condition. Even if you're aiming to become a comedian, you still have to go to university... The duo, delighted, cheers and gives each other a powerful high-five, celebrating. MACHIDA: Thank you so very much! If Rosho-san wasn't here, I think it would've been no good. Rosho smiles and gives the two a pat on their shoulders. ROSHO: It's gonna be tough from here on, but do your best. MACHIDA/HIRAYAMA: Yes! On the last page, we see a different school building—Rosho is taking an interview again. INTERVIEWER: Well then... Tsutsujimori-san, why do you want to become a teacher? ROSHO: I want to support the students and their limitless potentials.

[lesmotsincompris]

Thoughts on GoT S07E05

Here we go again.

This was the worst episode I’ve seen in a while. There was nothing offensive about it, except for the quality of the writing. The characters were all cardboards, the geography was tossed in a blender, and it gave me this odd feeling that a lot happened and very little happened at the same time.

More under the cut.

Field of fire

As it happens with so many other characters, the show writers clearly have no idea what to do with Bronn anymore. He insists on being paid, but what is this payment he demands? Didn’t we see him with Lollys Stokeworth a few seasons ago? And, more importantly, why we should care about this when so many other characters and subplots don’t get the attention they deserve?

Tyrion seeing the destruction and a burned Lannister army would have been a lot more effective if the writers hadn’t dropped Tyrion’s inner conflicts for two seasons. If this moment works at all, it’s only because Peter Dinklage can act.

Show!Daenerys has become one of the most despicable characters to ever grace our screens. I honestly don’t know what we’re supposed to think about her at this point. Wasn’t she supposed to be a hero or something? She claims to be different than Cersei and Aerys, but she does the most Cersei and Aerys thing to do. She says she doesn’t want to kill anyone, but does it without remorse as soon as they refuse to meet her friend Ben D Nee.

(is “bend the knee” the new “where are my dragons”? Only time can tell, but yes)

In today’s episode of “D&D are onanists who love their own creations no matter how bad they are”, we see the return of the “break the wheel” speech (and later “wars to come” too, oh well). What is "breaking the wheel” supposed to mean? Unless Dany wants to turn Westeros into a democracy (aww, her friend Ben would be so sad) then she isn’t bringing anything new, just maybe a lighter version of the thing they already have.

I can’t help but siding with Randyll and everyone else who didn’t bend the knee to this pyromaniac queen. I hate the show for making me side with Randyll, he’s a disgusting trash and doesn’t deserve that. Nor a touching moment with his son after everything he did with Sam. Fuck the show.

(Though I guess stealing that sword healed Sam’s trauma last season?)

Dragonstone

In the books, Barristan doesn’t reveal himself to Dany until he’s sure she doesn’t have the Targ madness that her father was famous for. Varys and Tyrion forgot to do that, so now they’re surprised that she’s not the reasonable queen they assumed she would be. Varys is given bits of Barristan’s conflict on staying silent while a horrible king does horrible acts. The scene could work in isolation, Varys’ erratic characterization this season doesn’t help.

It’s great that Varys and Tyrion are concerned about Dany, because they should be. Yet what is the solution the show finds for our favorite tyrant queen? Double down on mansplaining! As much as I hate show!Dany I also hate how the show frames Tyrion as this reasonable man that must infantilize her for her own good.

What should I do? I just hate everybody! Is it too late to start rooting for the White Walkers?

Maybe Tyrion and Varys can ask Jon and Jorah to help mansplain Dany? She’s such a feminist icon that it takes four men to convince her to stop being murderous and stupid!

Why is show!Jorah still a thing? Why the stupid greyscale plot if nothing relevant came out of it? Why are Jorah’s creepy feelings for Dany still framed as romantic? What can he possibly accomplish in this story? Why isn’t anybody bringing the fact that he’s a slaver and that’s why he left Westeros?

That episode of How to Train your Dragon feat. Jon was a nice moment in isolation, but too fan-service-y and too heavy-handed for me to truly appreciate it. At least the CGI dragon can act.

It’s just so stupid that Jon would wait all this time in Dragonstone, didn’t he had better things to do?

Wait, didn’t Jon know Bran was alive? Then why Dany said he had lost “two brothers” a few episodes ago? Also Jon saw Bran post-sack of Winterfell, going beyond the Wall. If this was such a dangerous idea that he assumed Bran would die, why didn’t Jon try to stop him or something?

Also what was Jon’s non-reaction upon learning Arya is still alive? So much for “his heart’s gonna stop”. Yeah, Sansa, it stopped so now he’s dead and can’t emote.

Bringing a White Walker on tour around Westeros wins the Turn Around Moat Cailin Award for "Your setting doesn’t work like that".

King’s Landing

Apparently one simply walks into King’s Landing. Davos and Tyrion arriving like they did is stupid, but even more stupid is Gendry being there this whole time when the show itself established a very good reason why he left.

Hey, remember that time Tyrion burned Davos’ sons with wildfire? Davos remembers it too, glad he doesn’t feel a thing about it.

HEY SHOW, THE ROWING JOKE IS OUR JOKE, YOU DON’T GET TO MAKE IT.

How did Davos know where to find Gendry? How did Tyrion know where to find Bronn? Daily Westeros twitter account, is that you?

Tyrion and Jaime meeting again loses a lot of impact when so much of each character and their dynamic together was cut from the show. Peter Dinklage and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau make it work, but it’s still a lesser version of what it could be because the characters are lesser versions than what they could be.

Lena Headey can also act, though the baby Lannister makes no sense at all. Why are they doing this? Will this accomplish anything for the story? Maybe the shock value of seeing another pregnant woman/baby dying on screen?

Old Town

With this episode the Old Town plot is over. It was a complete waste of resources, time, and good actors.

It’s a cheap trick to cut Gilly when she’s revealing an obvious Rhaegar info, but I’m glad they did it because now I can properly prepare to see this absurdity when it comes full force.

Annulment is not divorce. You need a good reason for it and it’s usually retroactive—in this case, it means Rhaegar’s previous marriage doesn’t count and his previous children are bastards. It’s also not something that can be done in secret, much less if you’re the crown prince and every aspect of your life matters to the people you’ll rule one day, especially when they directly affect succession. 

Rhaegar didn’t seem to care a lot about Elia, but he also didn’t seem to care a lot about Lyanna as well. He was a prophecy-obsessed dude and the prophecy made him believe he needed a third child (that Elia couldn’t provide). The prophecy doesn’t require this child to be a trueborn, especially if it means that the other two will become bastards. I can’t see why Rhaegar would bother with this, so I’m pretty sure it’s not happening like that in the books.

(and isn’t it much more poignant if Jon is still a bastard, but not even Ned’s bastard?)

Why is this happening in the show? Because D&D create the exact kind of fantasy that GRRM criticizes, and everything in the story, from a dragon having a Twilight-esque imprint on him to being the true heir to the crown, conspires to reward the white male lead purely for being the white male lead. I guess we should call him Jon Snowflake by now, because he’s so special and unique.

Fuck the show.

Winterfell

Again my least favorite part, though Dany and Prince Ragger certainly tried.

The Bran bit was cool, and actually makes sense with the kind of powers I expect him to have. I’m only writing this because I feel it’s the last time I’ll compliment anything about show!Bran.

The conflict between Arya and Sansa makes no sense, except within the pattern of women always being catty to each other. The Northern Lords had a very good point when they questioned Jon’s absence and Sansa did defend him. But show!Arya is every bit the heartless psychopath that dudebros on Reddit say she’ll become in the books (spoilers: nah she won’t), so she isn’t happy unless someone is drowning in their own blood. Sansa is evil for not wanting to behead anybody that insults Jon with a good reason.

It almost seems like the show will let Sansa be right this time, but Arya says all that bullshit about Sansa wanting the post for herself, despite no evidence on this, and Sansa is just silent. So it’s framed as if Arya was right. Once more I hate everybody, though to be fair I hate show!Arya most of all.

To make this even worse, Littlefinger is tossed in this stupid conflict. Ever since the stupidity of the Sansa Marriage Strike I can no longer believe in Littlefinger as this evil mastermind and clever manipulator. He’s just a dumb douche that follows Sansa around and tells people he wants to bang her. Please, writers, put this character out of its misery.

Better yet, put me out of my misery and end this damn show. 

Eastwatch

After wasting a lot of time with Gendry and Davos bonding and Gendry and Jon bonding, we’re ready for our Ultimate Bro Trip - All the Extras Edition.

Jon, Davos, Jorah, Gendry, Tormund, Sandor, Thoros, and Beric join in this super fun brotrip beyond the Wall. It’s great that none of these people is a King in the North that has more important duties and could be easily replaced by anyone else that can swing a sword.

It’s also great that all the women are busy with violent murder, because otherwise one of them might be there to spoil this dickfest.

Oh, well, fuck the show.

Extra notes

There’s a difference between acknowledging a plot hole and actually fixing it. Somebody should tell D&D that difference.

The Westerosi Teleportation Company had a 20% discount voucher for followers of the Daily Westeros twitter account, so the teleporting networks were especially busy during this episode. No, writers don’t need to show every little second of characters traveling from point A to point B, nor they have to be perfectly accurate with time passing in different plotlines. But such blatant disregard for basic logic shows me they care very little about the quality of their story. It’s par for the course, actually.

Two more weeks to go, and may R’hllor have mercy on our souls.