#why is the rum always gone [ crack ]

[hearts-hunger]

evergreen — part two

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Series Summary: Jake takes you on your first vacation to the cabin the gang stays at every year. When memories of past relationships loom heavy, will this vacation send cracks through the foundation of safety and trust you have in each other?

Chapter Summary: You're trying to let the past stay in the past, but Jake keeps making it difficult.

Pairings: Jake x Reader, Josh x Baby, Sam x Danny | Genre: fluff, angst, emotional h/c | Word Count: 4.4k | Warnings: smoking, sexual innuendo, mentions of infidelity

A/N: Hehehe more Jake being and idiot and Sparrow struggling emotionally. We're in for a little more before the end, but at least Baby and the boys are there for them ♡

You woke to a late morning sun, dappled daylight shining as well as it could through the trees growing right outside the window. Jake was on top of you, as he always was, his legs tangled with yours and his arm snugly around you, his face tucked into the crook of your neck. You absently brushed his hair back from his face, trying to take stock of yourself as you became aware of a vague, constant achiness.

Oh, right — margaritas strong enough to down a grown man, one cigarette too many, sleeping in a bed you'd felt completely uncomfortable in. All that was why you felt like you'd been run over by a truck. You needed to shower and take something for your headache and get out of this bed you hated with every fiber of your being, but you couldn't face trying to move just yet. 

Jake stirred and moved closer to you, if that was possible.

“Sparrow,” he mumbled. “You awake?”

“Yeah,” you said. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” His morning voice was deep and raspy. “What the hell did we drink last night?”

“The whole liquor cabinet.”

He gave a soft laugh that trailed off into a groan. “Yeah, I guess so. You feel okay?”

“Oh, I feel super,” you said. “How do you feel?”

“Like roadkill.”

You snorted. “Sexy.”

He propped himself up a little, looking down at you with a scrunchy, dazed kind of smile. 

“If you say so,” he said. “That reminds me. We were gonna do some swashbuckling last night, weren't we?”

“We sure were,” you said, “before you passed out.”

“Right.” He gave you a quick smooch good morning, as he always did. “Sorry about that. I can make it up to you right now if you want.”

You gave a doubtful hum. “We need to shower. And brush our teeth.”

“Oh, come on,” he coaxed. He kissed your neck. “Napoleon told his wife not to bathe for three days before he came home and ravished her.”

Though you usually wouldn't have minded some sweaty, tangled-up morning sex, there was no way you were doing that in this bed. 

“Too bad you're not Napoleon,” you said sweetly.

He didn't get the hint, perhaps too absorbed with kissing your collarbone. He was still dressed in his clothes from the day before, but you were in nothing but your underwear; you couldn't exactly blame him for exploring what was usually available for his enjoyment, but no part of you wanted him to touch you like that in this bed.

“Jake,” you said, gently pushing him off you. “Let me up, babe.”

He did, respecting your less subtle cue but giving you a wry smile. “You must really not feel good,” he teased.

It wasn't your hangover that was killing your libido, and you were a little annoyed that he didn’t know that. You sat on the edge of the bed, touching a hand to your pounding head.

He ran a soothing hand over your back. “You feel sick, honey?”

You didn't answer that. You did, but you didn't want to tell him why. You wanted him to use his brain and figure it out himself.

“I’m gonna go shower,” you said. You blindly grabbed a shirt from the drawer, and it happened to be Jake's “I'm the reason all the rum is gone” tee.

“Oh, now you’re just teasing me,” he said with a smile.

“I'm not teasing anybody,” you said, and you surprised yourself with how harsh it was.

He raised a brow. “Okay, sparrow. I’m just messing with you, baby. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You wanted to say that not meaning to didn't make it any better; in a way, it made it worse. Where did he keep his brain sometimes? You felt it was stupid for him to be so oblivious, or maybe you should be thankful that he was. If he wasn't thinking about Izzy, why should you be?

You gave him a half-hearted nod, raw with guilt and discomfort. “Okay. I’m just... not in a great mood. Sorry.”

“You’re allowed to not be in a great mood,” he said kindly. “Go get a shower, honey. You want coffee?”

His gentle care for you wore down your frustration. “Yes, please.”

“Okay. It'll be ready for you when you get out.”

You gathered up some clothes and headed for the upstairs bathroom, but you heard the shower running in there already, so you made your way to the downstairs bathroom. Sam was in the basement fooling around on the mellotron, and you were mildly embarrassed to be seen in your current state of undress.

“Sorry,” you said bashfully. “Just going to shower.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “All good.”

You laughed. “Thanks. You're a gentleman and a scholar, Sam.”

“Oh, I try.”

You took a long time in the shower, letting the hot water ease your many aches. Even from the basement, you could smell the promised coffee brewing, and you came into the kitchen to see Jake and Danny working on breakfast.

“For you, my dearest,” Jake said, handing you a cup of coffee made just the way you liked it. “Danny reminded me that we're switching rooms, so I went ahead and moved our stuff.”

“Oh,” you said, pleasantly surprised and relieved. “Thanks, honey.”

“Sure.” He kissed your cheek. “I’m gonna go shower. You look like you're feeling a little better.”

“I am,” you said truthfully. All of your worries had been very quickly assuaged with a simple room reassignment, and you felt a huge weight come off of you.

He smiled. “I'm glad, honey.” He slapped a bottle of ibuprofen into your hand. “Eat up.”

You huffed a laugh and boosted yourself up onto the counter. Danny was working on pancakes, his hair up in a claw clip and a dishrag over his shoulder.

“Thanks for mentioning the room thing,” you said.

He smiled. “No problem, sparrow. I didn't say why, just asked him if we were still switching. I'm sorry you had to stay in there last night. You could have moved our stuff.”

“He forgot, and he was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow,” you said. “I figured it was easier to stay put.”

“You're a good man, Charlie Brown,” he said. “I’d be climbing the walls in a room Sam had been in with his ex.”

You gave a rueful hum around a sip of coffee. “I almost was. He wanted to get into some... extracurriculars, shall we say, just now, but you can probably figure out how that went.”

“Not the way he pictured it, I imagine.” He added to the growing stack of pancakes. “He still doesn't know why you don't want to be in there?”

You sighed. “I guess not. Maybe I should be glad he’s not thinking of her, but I can't get her out of my head.”

“Who, me?” Baby came into the kitchen wearing one of Josh’s shirts and sleep shorts. “Sparrow, tell me it's me. I need an ego boost.”

“Girl, I'd rather it was you. But no, it’s Izzy.”

She looked over at you as she made herself a cup of coffee. “You didn't tell me you were into masochism.”

You and Danny laughed.

“They stayed in Jake’s old room last night,” Danny explained. 

Baby's expression scrunched. “Oh, ew. Why?”

“Ask the genius,” you said wryly. “I guess it just didn't occur to him.”

She sighed and leaned against the counter. “Well, the Kiszka boys aren't famous for being the world's most observant on some things. Are you switching rooms?”

“Yeah, we kicked Sam and Danny out,” you said. Danny walked past you to take the plate of bacon to the table, and when both you and Baby reached out, he stopped and let you take some.

“Go round ‘em up,” Danny said. “Everything’s ready.”

You did as he said, and when you were all gathered at the table, the six of you enjoyed a leisurely breakfast peppered with mentions of how bright the sunlight was and requests to pass the ibuprofen. Jake sat next to you, one hand on the back of your chair, his thumb occasionally skating across your back in a soothing motion. That was one of your favorite things about him: those little, unobtrusive touches that told you he was there, that he was tuned into you even if he wasn’t talking to you directly.

“I heard you working on something earlier, Sammy,” he said. “Sounded very orchestral.”

Sam gave him a lopsided smile. “Yeah, it's just something I’m messing around with. Maybe a cool opening for Josh's ‘Heat Above’ song.”

“You want to put the mellotron on that?” Josh asked, animated.

“I was thinking kind of like Age of Man,” he said. “I can show it to you if you want.”

Josh was up out of his chair and down to the basement before anyone could stop him, if they'd been trying to, and Sam followed with a proud smirk on his face. All four brothers tried to impress each other with their new ideas, and you knew that Sam was pleased with Josh’s eager anticipation to hear what he’d been working on. 

At the other end of the table, Danny and Baby were talking about their plans for a Chopped-style cooking competition. You and Jake sat in companionable silence, nursing your coffee and enjoying each other’s closeness.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said after a moment. The sun caught in his hair, bringing out the hint of red in it. “I really was just teasing. You know I don't want anything from you that you don't want to give.”

You touched his cheek. “I know, honey. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I’m sorry too.”

He gave you a gentle kiss. “Love you, sparrow.”

You smiled. “Love you too, Jakey. I think I’m gonna read out on the porch for a little bit. You wanna come and be bored to death?”

He breathed a laugh. “If you want me to, sure.”

“Or you can go jam,” you offered. You patted his chest. “Actually, go do that. I know you'd rather be playing music than watching me read.”

He considered that. “Okay, what if — and here's another one of my theories — I bring my guitar out and play while you read?”

“Again, not a theory,” you teased. “But sure. If you want to, I’d like that.”

He left to get his guitar and you grabbed your book and refilled both of your coffees, heading out to the porch swing. He came out with a throw blanket and his acoustic guitar, and he tossed the blanket at you and managed to cover your head with it.

“Ah, I get it,” you said, your voice muffled. “You don't want to see me while you hang out with me.”

He chuckled and rearranged the blanket so it lay over your lap. “Sorry. My toss was a little over-zealous.”

He sat next to you on the swing, playing an aimless tune that eventually made its way into Jackson Browne's “These Days”. You tried to focus on your book, but his voice was so warm and soft as he sang that you couldn't help but watch him play.

He noticed and looked over at you, giving you a bashful smile. “What?”

“Nothing,” you said. “I just like watching you play.”

His cheeks pinked. “Lucky you got a guy who does nothing but play guitar.”

You smiled. “Yeah, it is lucky.” You watched as he effortlessly picked out the solo in skillful, intentional movements of his fingers across the strings.

“You know this is kind of our song,” you said.

He nodded in that distracted way you liked, when he was focused on playing but still listening to you. “Yes ma'am. I remember.” You'd danced to this song at the wedding where you’d been reunited last winter, the same wedding where you’d finally done something about the feelings both of you had had for each other even after years of being apart. 

“You know the words,” he said. “Sing with me.”

You blushed. “Oh, I dunno. I'd rather hear you without me screwing it up.”

He shook his head. “Your voice could never screw anything up, sparrow. Sing with me.”

You couldn't say no to him, not when he was so sweet to you. He started the next verse, and you offered a quiet, tentative harmony.

“Well I’ll keep on moving, things are bound to be improving these days.”

His smile was impossibly tender. “See? I told you. Beautiful.”

You leaned close and kissed him, slow and gentle and so in love with him.

“Say you love me,” you said softly.

He touched his nose to yours. “I love you, sparrow. More than you could ever imagine, and more than I could ever tell you.”

—

He went to join the guys downstairs after a while, and you felt a warm glow in your chest long after he’d left. You didn't know why you’d been so upset about the whole Izzy business — of course Jake was just being oblivious, and there was no malicious intent in his absent-mindedness. You decided to put the whole thing out of your mind and not let the idea of her intrude on your picture-perfect vacation to a beautiful mountain cabin with the ones you loved so dearly.

Putting a bookmark between the pages of your novel, you ventured inside after a bit to find everyone downstairs. Baby made room for you on the couch and shared her gummy worms, and you snacked contentedly while the boys worked on a song that wasn't entirely coming together.

“I don’t know, it feels a little boring,” Danny said. “It need something like — ” He played a driving beat on the drums, making ample use of the cymbals. “Something brighter.”

“It’s a ballad,” Jake said, shaking his head. “A love song. It just needs the bass drum and the toms, maybe.” He strummed a few chords, and Sam scrambled to join him on the bass. You watched, amused, as Jake was wholly absorbed in playing the tune at a blinding volume while Danny didn't play a single thing. 

Jake looked up. “Yeah, like that,” he said.

Danny lazily twirled a drumstick. “Well, I wasn't playing anything, so...”

Jake gave him an abashed smile. “Oh. Well, maybe it doesn't need any drums. It's just an acoustic thing.”

“You’re cranked up to the loudest, crunchiest tone possible,” Danny pointed out. “Play it on acoustic and I’ll see what I can do with that.”

Jake sigh was half irritated groan. “Maybe we should just scrap it.” He tied his hair up in a bun, and you knew he must be getting frustrated — Jake never put his hair up when he was playing unless he was fed up with it and needed a little less sensory input.

“I don't know, man,” Josh said. “It’s not terrible. I like the chord progression.”

“Okay,” Danny offered, “what if i build up with the drums, like start off with just the bass and come in later on the snare, but keep it soft, and give it a few splashes? Or — ” He extended his hand to Sam, and somehow Sam knew to toss him the egg shakers. “I’ll do some kind of maraca thing, and you can do a beat on the body of the guitar like that Iron and Wine thing.”

“So many things,” Sam teased. “Is that the technical term, Daniel?”

Danny shook a maraca at him. “Yes. Don't question the master.”

Sam put up a hand in surrender. “I wouldn't dare.”

Jake unplugged his guitar and slung the strap over his head. “Let me think about it for a minute. I might decide I hate it.”

His brothers were content to let him take a break, changing tacks to work on the song Sam and Josh had played around with earlier. It was obviously missing a guitar, but it didn't sound half bad with the mellotron and a bright, splashy drum beat to accompany Josh’s voice. 

Jake all but collapsed on the couch next to you. “Hi.”

You smiled. “Hi, honey. Rough day at work?”

He ran a hand over his face. “I guess. That song’s not my best work, but I thought we could try it.”

“Don’t give up on it,” you said. You handed him a gummy worm. “Here. A little something to take the edge off.”

He snorted. “Thanks.”

You brushed back a few wayward strands of hair that had missed the bun. “When did you write that song, anyway? I don't think I've ever heard it.”

“Sometime last year,” he said. “Summer before last, I think. I don't know.”

You tried to ignore the creeping doubt that you'd promised yourself you were done with. “Before you met me?”

“Well, not technically,” he reminded you. You’d been friends in high school before you’d lost touch for a few years. “But yeah, before we got together.”

“Right.” You hated the uncertainty in your tone. “And it's a love song?”

He sighed. “Trying to be, anyway.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. A love song that he'd written before you were together, presumably with someone else in mind. Izzy, namely. You felt a nudge from Baby, and you interpreted her sympathetic look to mean something like I’m sorry he keeps being stupid and you can't really blame him for it at the same time.

You let out a long breath. You knew you couldn't hold his past relationships against him, but it didn't exactly feel great to know he was working on an old love song he’d written for her. You wondered how terrible a girlfriend you would be if you told him to scrap it like he wanted to.

You steeled yourself. No, you remembered, you weren’t going down that road. The past was in the past, and you’d let it stay there, where it belonged, buried six feet underground.

That was a little morbid, granted. You didn't want Izzy six feet under, though you did wish for some karmic payback for the pain she’d caused Jake. But it wasn't yours to deliver, so you'd support this song if he really wanted to make a go of it.

You patted his thigh. “Come play some Pac-Man with me.”

“Ooh, me too,” Baby said, getting up to go with you to the game on the far side of the basement crowded with a pool table, a pinball machine, and a foosball table. Jake followed somewhat reluctantly, but you knew him; he couldn't pass up an opportunity to beat the pants off of you in any game. He was usually successful, except in spades, which he was terrible at for some reason; then, he always insisted on being on your team and letting you carry the two of you to victory. 

As you played, he tried to give you pointers, but you were resigned to being awful at it. 

“Come on, honey,” he laughed. “It’s kinda like skipping stones, remember? All in the — ” Your Pac-Man dissolved and died. “All in the wrist.”

You let him have a go, and he was much better at it; you and Baby watched intently as he moved up a couple levels before he lost. 

“Damn,” he said, looking at the high scores. “Who's that at the top? That was one of us, right?”

He looked to Baby, and she fidgeted a little beside you.

“I think... I think it was Izzy,” she said cautiously.

He didn't say anything for a moment, and you listened with baited breath for how he would react.

“Huh,” he said finally, his tone as even as could be, as if revisiting a pleasant memory. “Yeah, I think you're right.”

As stupid as it was, you couldn’t stop the hot spark of frustration that flared to life in your chest. 

“Guess she knew all about the wrist technique, or whatever,” you said flatly.

He shrugged. “I guess. She was good at that sort of thing.” He stepped aside to let Baby play, and she glanced over at you with an uncertain expression.

“You want to get beaten in foosball too?” Jake asked you, a playful smile on his face.

“No, thanks.” You turned to Baby. “Does Josh have any cigarettes hidden away somewhere?”

“Yes, and I’ll show you where,” she said, “because it’s a dumb hiding place where he thinks I won't get at them.”

She gave you a conspiratorial smile and looped her arm around yours, abandoning her game. 

“You’re gonna die!” Jake protested.

“Sparrow needs me,” she said tartly. “Besides, who cares about a score on Pac-Man?”

You were glad she could sass him when you couldn't quite get up the nerve to, and you let her lead you upstairs to the room she and Josh were sharing.

“Holy shit, is he dumb or what?” she asked, rooting through Josh's backpack. She put on an affected voice. “Oh, she’s so talented and good at that sort of thing that you're bad at. What a moron.”

You couldn't help but laugh, thankful for her lighthearted tone and collusion with you in your frustration. She reached elbow-deep into the backpack and finally found the pack of cigarettes, holding them up triumphantly. 

“Ha! Take that, Joshua.”

The two of you went out to the porch, leaning against the railing as you smoked. The air was chilly and fragrant with pine, and you closed your eyes and let the breeze soothe your riled emotions.

“Am I overreacting?” you asked. “Maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing.”

She shrugged. “I don't know, sparrow. I was lucky Josh never brought anyone else here.”

You blew out a thin stream of smoke. “And Josh never had any serious relationships before yours, did he?”

“Not really, which is also lucky.” She looked a little wistful then. “We were too busy pining over each other to worry about anybody else, I think.”

Though you’d all been friends your last year of high school and the summer after graduation, you knew Baby had practically grown up with them. You hadn't been surprised to find out that she and Josh were together when you met up again last winter, and it also didn't surprise you that they'd spent a long time secretly in love with each other without saying it.

“Did you ever have a crush on the other guys?” you asked. “Even just a little thing?”

Her smile was telling. “Not really. I guess I thought Danny was a looker when he grew out of his awkward middle-school phase, but I like my guys a little shorter and weirder.”

You laughed. “I guess we have similar tastes.”

She flicked her cigarette. “In that way, yeah. But Jake and Josh are as different as night and day, you know that.”

“Sun and moon,” you said, remembering with fondness the comments you'd seen on social media posts featuring the twins.

She smiled. “Yeah, sun and moon. Sometimes a dumbass sun and moon, but hey.”

You sighed and put your cigarette out. “I don’t know what to do. Sam said I should tell him.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that advice from him before,” she said wryly. “Tends to be solid, but it’s easier said than done.”

“No kidding.” You heard the sound of Jake’s guitar join the song drifting from inside. “Would you tell Josh? If he was doing something like this?”

“Well, I'd like to think I wouldn't have to,” she said. “But... yeah, I would. I trust Josh. And I trust Jake, and I know you do too, even if he’s being an idiot.”

You scuffed your shoe against the railing. “Yeah.” You did trust Jake; you trusted him with every part of you, even the most vulnerable ones, and he’d cherished and honored that trust every time it had been put to the test. Why was this time so hard for you?

Baby gently bumped her shoulder against yours. “Why are you scared to tell him? You know he’d understand how you feel.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I don't know.” You hadn't talked to anyone about this before, not even your best friends who would surely have listened and given you advice, but you wanted to try and talk to Baby about it now.

“We’re out of the honeymoon phase, I guess,” you said. “Not that that’s a bad thing, and not that I expect us to break up or anything, but...”

“It's hard,” she said kindly. “I get it. The first time Josh and I had a big fight, a few months after we got together, I cried the rest of the night. I went super crazy and catastrophized the whole thing.”

That was a familiar feeling. You'd bickered more with Jake these past few months than you ever had when you first got together, and sometimes it had devolved into an actual argument. You hated it, but it was a natural part of relationships.

“I’m not used to that sort of thing,” you confessed. “Me and Jake... this is my first serious relationship, and I don't know what the hell I’m doing. I want to marry him, and I think he’s that serious about me, but... he was probably that serious about Izzy too.”

She didn't say anything for a moment, and you felt your heart sink. “He was, wasn’t he?”

She sighed. “I don't know. I won't lie and say he didn't love her. And I guess she loved him too, as much as you could love a person while still being able to cheat on them, which maybe isn't much.”

She put her cigarette out. “Jake’s like a totally different person with you, sparrow. He lights up like a firefly whenever you're around. I didn't know if he’d ever recover from Izzy, but he has with you, and he loves you like you're his heart.”

You swallowed around the tightness in your throat. “Really? You're not just saying that?”

She took your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “No way, sparrow. You know me — I’m a straight shooter. And you fit with us like you were made for us, just like you do with Jake.”

You squeezed her hand back. “I love you.”

Her smile was a little wobbly. “Aw, sparrow, I love you too. I'm so glad you're in our family.”

“Me too,” you said softly.

She kissed your cheek. “I think Sam’s right. Go talk to Jake. You’ll feel better, and Jake will stop being so dumb, and then you can have super great celebration sex.”

You laughed, really laughed, and she laughed with you.

“You know I’m right!” she said. She gave you a gentle push towards the door. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

You stopped at the door and looked back at her.

“I’m really glad you're my friend,” you said.

Her smile was warm and very kind. “Me too, sparrow.”

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[thewriterg]

𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬

pairing(s): JJ maybank x oc!charcter, Pope Heyward x oc!character, JJ maybank x pope heyward, pogues x oc!character

summary: pougelandia was paradise and now it was gone and it was back to chaos and commotion

word count: 3.1k+

warning(s): Polyamory themes, jealousy, kidnapping, plane crash, weapons, and language

A/n: —GIFs; @misandriste & @winchvster— So I’m starting a new series chapter two is up on wattpad so if you’re invested and want to get updates early heres my page!

𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 from a distance as JJ finished hanging up the Pouglandia sign that he a had made from a ratio of cloth and the char off a burnt stick but before the brunette could comment Kiara was already a step ahead cheering the blonde on with all her might

The girl took a step back bare feet sinking in the sand as she began to walk away her orange top that she had made out of one of the blondes tank tops clinging to her body like an overbearing hug leaving the pair alone

Everyone had a job to do and a partner to do it with

Everyone except Bonnie it seemed she did task plenty to keep herself busy and the pogues alive such as cooking meals, showing John B how to crack coconuts more times than she could count beyond her ten fingers, and weaving baskets to carry fish and different berries in

But what partner did she have? JJs attention was basically Kiaras and Pope had Cleo now the girl was inevitably alone

"Going somewhere?" Bonnie didn't turn her head to look at the dark skinned boy on the side of her as she hummed continuing to walk along the trails worm by their feet

"Thought you were picking berries with Cleo" Pope raised his eyebrows slightly inching up to his hairline at the girls tone he didn't think she meant it she always sounded more harsh than she intended majority of the time

"Got done early, when you weren't with JJ I came looking for you" He said in a mater of fact tone as the girl pursed her lips continuing walking her trail

"I think we should just live here, when JJ said it first I thought it was just stupid but I think I could do it with you two." Bonnie finally looked at him and she couldn't help the small smile on her face and Pope didn't miss even when she tried to shake it away

"Come on Jimmy Neutron we need to head back" The brunette sighed watching the sun begin to set on the horizon and the pair began their walk back to the beach

<><><>

"If you could do it all again what would you do different?" Sarah questioned the group sitting in a circle playing one of the games they found themselves playing often

"Get the gold out before Ward did." JJ stated

"Maybe hide the cross a little better." Pope sighed

"Not yell murderer at Ward maybe" Kie grimaced at the thought

"Not threaten to kill Rafe in front of a police station" Bonnie shrugged

"Uh, steal a couple bottles of rum before we jumped off the boat" John B finally responded

"Yea why didn't you do that actually?" JJ questioned turning around to look at the boy with a playful glare

"Maybe 'cause I was in a fight to the death?" The tan boy rolled his eyes

"I would look both ways before crossing the street" Cleo turned to look at John B pausing from sharpening her knife the group took a few more turns until the badly woven hat got placed upon Bonnie's head

"I think I'll finally go with a dare" The girl rolled her eyes as the group clapped JJ going as far as whistling at her finally abandoning the 'safe' answer as John B called it

"I dare you to go with the big jump no one's done it yet" Kiara challenged as Bonnie immediately began to shake her head at the thought as everyone began to boo at her

"Hell No absolutely not" The girl laughed shaking her to the point where she couldn't notice JJ slowly rising out his seat until he finally tackled the girl girl beginning to run off with her in his grasp as she screamed and yelled the girls began to giggle excluding Kiara as Sarah blew kisses in her direction and Cleo help up a heart made from her hand

JJ looked for a good climbing spot and found the best on the other side of the makeshift mountain finally sitting the brunette down on her feet

"JJ I'm not going up there" Bonnie stated looking how far up she would have to climb it was dumb and dangerous

"Come on princess, I'll go with you if it makes you feel better" He was cocky and no matter how much she said she hated it deep down the blonde knew she hated it a little less with him he knew her better that anyone

They knew her better than anyone.

"Come on one foot in front of the other one arm above each other" The pale boy encouraged as Bonnie began rock climbing to the top as he trailed behind her

"Shut up Maybank" The girl didn't know how many times she had rolled her eyes in a day but it had to have broken some record as the pair finally made it to the top they could hear the cheers from their friends down below

"Oh shit" The hair on her neck began to stick up from the cool breeze nipping around her body was the mountain always this far up?

"Don't get cold feet now Bon come on, if you don't hurry I'll throw you I swear" JJ was already at the tip of the platform ready to jump with no hesitation and Bonnie was in the middle of the landing with the almost ground area looking over the rocks

The girl screamed out a laugh as the blonde began to approach her with a small smile on his face

"WAIT okay, okay I'll jump. Just, just let me take off my shorts these are the only dry pair I have" The girl shot the blonde a pleasing look as he stood in his tracks waiting the pogues could be heard by both of them from down below but it began to become background noise as the brunette began to slip the brown shorts off from her waist along with the waist beads her and Sarah's had made with rope and rocks the had searched for around the island

JJ had stretched a hand out to her which she took stepping away from the pile of clothes she had left as the made their way to the tip of the peak the girl had to admit the view was beautiful

"On three" JJ began to count down their fingers still intertwined with one another as he stared at the girls smile her shoulders slightly shaking in anticipation

𝐎𝐍𝐄 He couldn't process how someone like her could even give him the time of day. How she could let him into her bubble of creativity, let him touch her upon her spirituality, she was something that he could understand unlike any subject in school or any problem through at him in life. He knew that she couldn't even begin to understand how bad he has it for her, how bad he has it for them.

𝐓𝐖𝐎 The blonde then turned to look at the dark skinned boy below them both. He was sure that he was the smartest person to walk the planet he'd be an Einstein one day going off to make the world better and giving the government a run for their money leaving him behind taking his heart with him and he'd let him take it to the ends of the earth with no fuss

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 It was settled how could he let someone like them go? The simple answer was that he couldn't even if we wanted it was a the stupidest mistake anyone would ever be able to make and he was sure of himself he wouldn't

𝐆𝐎 They finally jumped still hand and hand as the cold water hit their skin screaming was the first thing they heard when their head were out of the water beginning to swim to shore as the girls laugh erupted his ears as a melody

Pope was the first to reach them both engulfing the two in a hug the water transferring to his shirt off their bodies didn't seem to phase him as JJ laughed openly pushing his wet hair from his face before wrapping an arm around them both before Bonnie's did the same both arms wrapped around both boys shoulders and waist

Her boys they all thought

<><><><>

"That's what I'm talking about now freshly caught" The group sat around a fire eating fish in silence Bonnie had her head rested on Popes shoulder and her legs were over JJs lap as he rubbed his palm against her flesh leaving a trail of goosebumps as he went

The rest of the pogues couldn't help but sneak glances in awe it took long enough John B would say but the silence was enough and spoke for itself

Kiara watched them all with a sinking feeling in her stomach she wasn't chirpy about it how was she supposed to be when the boy she had feelings for found that same feeling in other people?

<><><><>

Pope could feel himself stir as he began to blink away the sleep from his eyes at the sound that evaded his ears on the usually silent island when the pogues weren't talking and the waves weren't crashing against shore he happened to look up in the sky at helicopter that flew over the ocean close to the island

"Guys wake up!" The boy was immediately up on his legs grabbing his shoes and JJs lighters that once rested in Bonnie's bag before he was off

Bonnie woke up the sight of the brown skin boy that once lied next to her running from her peripheral view was enough to get her on her feet as she quickly tapped JJs thigh before going to follow him

It didn't take long to catch up to Pope as you both ran up the hill to a pile of wood that you had made just in case as the boy cursed at the spiking lighter that wouldn't erupt in the wind until Bonnie cupped her hand around it making a small flame that was enough to light the sticks and tree branches as the pair began to yell waving their hands in the air

"𝐇𝐄𝐘, we're over here!"

"𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 help us!"

The plane continued a it seemed no matter how much the pair screamed it was deemed useless as they both panted heavily until the plane began to turn to its side wings frozen in the air as it turned around

"Pope, Pope they see us!" The girl yelled tapping his shoulder jumping up and down until the boy picked her up his arms resting under her thighs spinning in circles as they both screamed in victory

The pogues began to run after the plane that landed in the pond as the door opened and a middle aged man long hair and a button up shirt stepped out

"Well what do we got here?" Pope ran up to John B wrapping an arm around his shoulder as both boys exclaimed in victory while Bonnie approached JJ with a bright smile that he couldn't quite mirror as she hugged his side her head resting against his bicep and just the peak of his shoulder and the blonde didn't hesitate to hold her before he handed her her bag

"You know, just some castaways." John B replied brightly

"Well I'll cross that off the grocery list, you know I got just the thing for y'all the two things you need on a deserted island first aid and rum" The man tossed both of the said items the rum landing in the pond before getting picked up by Sarah and the first aid landing in Popes hands

"So what's the story, you guys sink a boat?" He said as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world

"Jumped off one. Her dads." John b replied nodding over to where Sarah stood beside him with a skeptical look on her face

"In-laws man their tough. Well have no fear Jimmy's here I got you" The group began to laugh

"Well all hail Jimmy guys! Let's go." Cleo cheered as the group began to get on the plane the last two left were JJ and Bonnie as the two looked at each other before following their friends

"So what we're you doing all the way out here?" JJ questioned not fully sitting back in his seat Bonnie sat In between both him and Pope waiting for the man's response

"I got a little guide outfit in Saint Vincent I was spotting fish." Jimmy responded starting up the plain as the engine roared to life

"What we're you spotting?"

"Oh you know the usual Wahoo... I'd hand on to something get a little spicy on takeoff" The brunette didn't miss the look on JJs face as he squinted at the man before before clutching onto one of the handles that hung from the ceiling as the plane began to accelerate up into the air

"Wahoo don't run in September ever. So whoever this man is he's not a fisherman" The girls head snapped to look at the blonde her lips slightly parted

"Maybe the run just starts earlier out here" Pope tried to reason a small look of alert taking over his features

"Are you sure about that? In the Caribbean" JJ shot a look at the boy as Bonnie's knee began to bounce up and down a habit she had when she was trying to think or when she was anxious

"No I know what this is, he's working for my dad and he's probably been looking for us the entire time." Sarah spoke up in her seat next to Cleo all eyes shifting to her

"All right we gotta find out looking for some sort of... clues" The blonde trailed off as he looked at the bag on the back of the pilots chair as he looked at Bonnie and John B

"Hey Jimmy, how long you had this bird?" The boy questioned as JJ stretched an arm across the isle way sticking a hand in his bag

"Probably about ten years"

"How long you been flying?" Bonnie spoke up as the man shook his head with a smile that made her stomach uneasy

"I've been flying all my life"

"Uhh who's the lovely lady right there?" John B through another question back like a grenade ready to blow

"That right there? That's Cynthia" The man laughed loudly overly loud the Bonnie though his headphones probably had something to do with the fact

JJ began sprawling some of the things he got from the man's bag out on his lap as Bonnie picked up the book flipping through pages for anything useful as JJ handed Sarah a picture

"The costal venture oh my god this is the boat we were on with Eberhimi and the cross" Sarah whispered

"So he was looking for us?" Cleo questioned even though it was more than a statement as JJ agreed nodding his head

"He's working for my dad" Sarah declared before the plane began to shake as Bonnie fell into Popes side the boy wrapping his around her without missing a beat

"You guys better hold onto something we got some unexpected turbulence up here" Jimmy called back

"Guys whatever it is it's happening fast look." Kiara pointed out the window and everyone could see an island the plane began to approach

"It's Barbados. It's where I lived there before I moved with my dad to the cut" Bonnie stated as she remembered the memories she had before her dad moved them both to the obx just when she was seven on the peak of turning eight

"Okay there's seven of us, one of him. You know my vote we storm the cockpit." JJ stated the girl honestly questioned it logic majority of the time

"No who's gonna fly the plane dumbass" John B protested

"I've seen Pope fly simulators" The blonde responded and the girl pinched at his arm for putting him on the spot to which he pouted genuinely beginning to rub his arm

"I crop-dusted for my uncle last summer this is not the same thing" The brown skin boy shook his head

"We don't have time to pretend that's a real option" Kiara responded

"Do you have an idea?"

"Something safe."

"Why don't we just wait until the plane lands somewhere safe, and if someone comes to mess with us we handle it." Bonnie interrupted the banter and everyone seemed to agree

"I like the handling part" JJ responded and the girl couldn't help but roll her eyes

"Just put that back" She pointed to the stuff in his lap as John B began to stir up conversation with Jimmy again as the man turned his head catching JJ putting back one of the books he had taken back in his bag

"Hey what the hell are you doing man" He had reached back pushing JJ letting go of shift sticks to control the plane in the process as the plane began to drop

"FLY THE PLANE!"

"Please fly the plane!" Jimmy had finally took control of the stick pulling upwards with abnormal force and soon the plane finally crashed in the water beginning to sink

"We got to get out come on" The group jumped one by one until it was Bonnie and Kiara left Pope had his arms out for the girl and Bonnie reluctantly jumped out the plane into the boys arms as JJ took the girl from his grasp beginning to swim of the direction underneath the pier

"Kie went the other way!" Sarah exclaimed as they watched the girl begin to run of the shore deeper into the island men dressed in khakis and cargos chasing after

"What are we going to do we're going after her right?" John B questioned as he watched his best friend get dragged away

"What can we do?" Pope questioned

"That girl always has to play fucking hero" Bonnie panted JJ still holding her tight in his grasp

"Guys my dad didn't, didn't sell our house we can crash there until we figure something out" The girl continued beginning to shake from the cold clear water and the pogues had settled on that idea quietly swimming to another part of the shore making it to land

<><><><>

[schofieldshelmet]

there were two of us

Blake-magically-comes-back-to-life-but-doesn’t-remember-anything-that-happened AU

Chapter One: adrift | Next ~~

December 6, 1917.

It is bitterly cold in the French town they are sheltering in, icy snow blanketing the abandoned maze of streets and alleys, crumbling stone littering the earth like a scar. Scattered groups of soldiers dot the streets like ash, huddled together for warmth and whispering in hoarse voices, but Schofield sits alone, jammed against a wall with his legs tucked up to his chest. The frigid air leaks through cracks in his boots and stings his cheeks like ice, but he is too tired to care, nose buried in the collar of his coat and eyes half-shut. 

They’ve been here for a handful of days awaiting further orders, half-hearted camps set up throughout the streets and alleys of the abandoned town, spirits lower than usual in the frosty weather. As usual the other men avoid Schofield, barely giving him so much as a side-glance, stepping out of the way when he approaches, clear discomfort on their faces. 

But he doesn’t really mind, choosing to ignore the looks, the frequent whispers that that one’s not quite right. He used to be a loner from the day he enlisted, up until last year when Blake first laid eyes on him, propped alone against the wall of a trench, reading a letter from home for the thousandth time. 

Oi there, mate, you’re looking a bit pasty, Blake had said, and offered him a drink from his ration flask of rum, and from that day on they had begun a tentative friendship. Blake had other friends, certainly; he exuded a certain warmth and friendliness that no one could resist; but, not that Schofield quite knew the how or why of it himself, he was the one Blake chose to stick around, whether they were eating rations or cleaning their rifles or another of the endless mundane tasks they performed daily. 

The tentative nature of their friendship had eventually morphed into something genuine, something soft, something gentle when the bombs were falling in the distant night and Blake, still so young and inexperienced, was afraid as the sky flashed white. And eventually they were nearly inseparable, always casually spoken of together by their fellow soldiers, comfortable enough with each other to discuss their families, their fears, their hopes and dreams. 

I could be like an uncle to your girls, Blake had said more than once, lopsided grin on his face. Come on, you know they’d love me. 

You’re too young to be an uncle, Schofield had usually replied with a demure expression, but secretly he liked the notion, because he always took that to mean Blake thought of him as a brother. 

But now Blake is dead, and Schofield is rumored to be the East Surrey’s own personal lunatic, gone stark raving mad after that one mission that no one can remember the particulars of, except for the fact that it was when he lost his only friend. 

( What was his name again? the others always whisper when they don’t think he can hear). 

(“Blake,” he always answers them, as shock and discomfort leaps onto their faces before they turn away. “His name was Blake.”) 

Already the rumor of his mental state is spreading to a few new conscriptions who arrived a week ago on a couple of lorries. Most of them are stationed several streets down, still adjusting to life outside of their training, mostly young and fresh-faced and hopeful. But Schofield’s seen the looks, heard the murmurs. He knows they’ve heard things about him. Perhaps they’ve even witnessed his often empty-stare, yet another factor in support of the lunacy claim. 

That one over there…he’s not quite right. 

Bit of shell-shock, then? 

No one knows for sure. Someone died, that’s all we know. But he was in the Somme. 

That’s enough to do anybody in, I would think. 

He swallows, huddling further into the collar of his coat, wind whistling through the cracks in his boots. He’s tired, so tired of being ridiculed behind his back, of being whispered about, of having no one who understands. Sergeant Sanders is kinder and more sympathetic than most, but there is still a guarded wariness in his eyes as if he knows he is talking to a man who died long ago, a man whose will to live vanished along with his sanity. 

He’s tired of the rumors. 

He’s tired . 

In all honesty he can’t remember the last time he got a decent amount of rest because whenever he falls asleep it only takes him a few moments and then he is there, he is kneeling in the cold and muddy earth and Blake is lying dead in his lap and cherry blossoms are spilling from his eyes and mouth and turning to blood, crimson blood, and he can smell it in his sleep.

Of course he never mentions any of this in his letters home. He writes about the weather and the bird that landed on the toe of his boot one morning and the stale rations that don’t compare whatsoever to Winifred’s cooking. He writes about how he misses his two girls and how the other day it was sunny for once but he never mentions the nightmares, he never mentions the sweaty, gasping terror upon waking, the grief that grips him when he is alone. He doesn’t want them to worry. So he doesn’t mention it. 

But right now Schofield is just too tired and even the nightmares aren’t enough to deter him from letting his eyes fall shut. He presses even closer to the bit of crumbling wall behind him, teeth clamped tight together to control the ever-present shivering, and blocks out the chatter of soldiers further down, the sound of wind howling through the alleyways, the rough shriek of a crow in the distance. 

He is drifting, gloved hands stuffed deep inside the pockets of his coat as darkness swirls around him, when suddenly the sharpness of footsteps scraping through snow breaks into his subconscious. 

A painful, rattling cough and a tongue clucking in sympathy and then a voice.  

“–ergeant Sanders, have y–”

Familiar. There is something familiar about the voice and the tone and the accent but he can’t remember, he is tired, so tired–

“—ich way is medical bay? Chap here’s got a touch of fever.”

And suddenly his entire body jolts, half-asleep, and then abruptly he is shaking all over and not just from the cold. Numbness has settled on his mind like a thick fog, but all at once it seems to dissipate and he is alert, rigid, eyes snapping open as he gasps in a breath. 

“—down this street and take a left—”

“–ank you, sir–”

Schofield’s gaze hones in on a soldier just up ahead, standing talking to Sergeant Sanders with a coughing man by his side, and suddenly his heart is pounding because it can’t be it can’t be it’s impossible it’s impossible but what if it’s not–

He’s on his feet before he can register anything else, not even bothering to collect his rifle in his panic as he careens forward across the icy cobblestones. A few men pause their idle conversation and turn to look at him, skepticism flashing over their faces when they realize who’s sprinting past, but he scarcely even realizes they are there. 

And he doesn’t mean to call out, not yet at least, but it slips from his mouth and he can’t stop himself and it’s too late. 

“Blake!” 

The soldier ahead of him stiffens slightly, and then he is turning and it is him, it’s Blake, standing there in the snow with frost-pale skin just like the day he died, dark eyes confused as he watches Schofield skid to a halt on the icy ground. Schofield can scarcely breathe, his lungs suddenly tight in his chest as he stands and tries to piece together words to say but can’t think of anything at all. 

“…I’m sorry, do I know you?” Blake asks slowly after a minute. The man beside him steps away to spit into the snow before he’s seized by another fit of coughing. Blake fidgets, waiting for a response, knuckles white on the barrel of his rifle. 

Schofield stammers softly, eyes stinging with a sudden flash of tears, and then presses the back of his hand to his mouth, still at a loss for words. “Blake– you’re– you’re back,” he whispers finally, brokenly, and doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  “I– why didn’t you come…how did–” He pauses, swallows, cracked lips pressing briefly together, and suddenly he can’t stop himself and he is stumbling forward, wild, unhinged, grief and joy fighting within him, one arm reaching-

Blake’s face darkens and he takes a step back, but not before Schofield’s hand snags onto his sleeve. His voice snaps out like a bullet, colder than the snow lining the ragged streets, stabbing into Schofield’s heart like a knife. 

“Mate, I don’t know if you think this is funny or what, but I have no clue who the bloody hell you are, so clear out, all right? I’ve got this sick chap to take to med bay.” His scowl, so uncharacteristic of him, deepens as he jerks his arm free of Schofield’s grasp and steps back. 

“Ah—” Sergeant Sanders appears suddenly at Schofield’s elbow, one hand reaching to grip his upper arm as Schofield’s face twists in distress. “—Don’t mind him.” Sanders coughs uncomfortably, then in an undertone adds with reluctance, “He lost a close mate on a mission a few years back. Hasn’t been the same ever since.” 

Blake’s face clears in swift understanding, combined pity and empathy filling his eyes, but the pain only stabs deeper into Schofield’s heart. He has endured hell and back since Blake’s death but this , this is too much, not when Sergeant Sanders knows better, not when he’s already suffered constant remarks about his crumbling mental state and just can’t take any more . 

His throat is tight and he feels a hot stinging erupt in his eyes as he twists to stare at the sergeant in shocked disbelief. “ Years ?” he finally manages to spit, voice cracking with suppressed grief, his mouth sandpaper-dry. “It’s not been years, it’s only been months! Only nine months , you summoned me to that mission yourself, what the effing– ”  

“Lance Corporal, that’s enough,” Sanders interrupts with a sharpness he rarely uses, and Schofield’s words stutter to a halt, his chest heaving, the cold burning in his lungs like a knife. The sergeant waves a dismissive hand at Blake, who has frozen in place before them, sympathy still evident on his face as he watches the emotion flickering in Schofield’s eyes. “Go on then, attend to your sick chap. I’ll take care of our boy here.” 

“Um–” Blake pauses, faltering, the tip of his nose red with the cold. “Yes, sarge.” He swallows, pulling the collar of his overcoat closer to his chin and giving Schofield a final uncomfortable look. “Come on, then,” he mutters to the lad he’s brought with him, and then they move away down the street, where they are quickly swallowed by the mounds of rubble. 

Schofield stares after them in shock, the hot stinging in his eyes growing fiercer now, Sergeant Sanders’ hand still firm on his arm. “That was– that was him ,” he chokes finally, scarcely feeling the cold as he turns a haunted gaze upon the sergeant. “How could you not recognize him? That– that was Lance Corporal Thomas Blake and he died on that mission in April, he bled out in my arms, and you have the bloody nerve to not– you didn’t even recognize–” He grips his head in both palms and heaves for breath as the Sergeant’s hand moves uncertainly to his shoulder. “How could you say it was a few bloody years when it’s only been months–”

“Lad.” Sergeant Sanders clears his throat. “I don’t know what the ’ell you’re talking about, but…for my part I think—”

“You think I’m insane.” Schofield’s voice cracks. “You think I’m insane just like everyone else does.” 

The sergeant doesn’t respond, and that is confirmation enough. Schofield pulls free of his grip and takes a step backwards, boots unsteady on the icy cobbles as he draws a stinging breath. His fingers clench tightly against his palms as he turns away. Numbly he walks through scattered groups of men who eye him warily, who whisper amongst themselves once he has passed. Numbly he sits down again against his bit of crumbling wall and feels snow seep through his clothes. Numbly he draws his knees up to his chest and squeezes his eyes shut as tight as they will go. 

And he thinks, as the impossibility of the situation finally begins to sink in, that maybe he really is insane.

[calperniabeithioch]

Rumple

-10+ Years ago-

I had to spit the sand out of my mouth, the salt of the water burned up my nose as I got my head out of the oncoming wave. I was covered in sand and only a good swim might get some of it out. Ahead of me a figure bounded up through the water and hoisted me up to my knees and pushed some sand out away from my nose and mouth.

"How did you manage to trip over your own feet?" He asked. He was only two years older than me, but after I had managed to trick him he promised not to torment me again. That didn't mean he couldn't point out when I was messing up or doing something foolish.

I spat out another wad of snot and sand. "I thought I felt a crab," I said, using his hand to get up. "I panicked."

He let out a small huffing laugh and got me to the firmer sand on the beach. I was stoked though it felt pleasant in the ocean-kissed breeze. "A crab would have pinched you, silly." he shook his head and looked to the lush jungle we lived near. I couldn't see the house, but I could smell lunch cooking on the air.

"Rumple," I said using my brother's nickname as I glanced his way. "They're going to make fun of me again aren't they?"

His bright blue eyes squinted in the light of the sun. "I don't think so, we've all panicked if we thought we were stepping on a turtle nest or crab. You're just the baby of the family." He threw an arm over me and we walked back to the shade of the nearby trees. "You know, there are stories where the youngest have to save the day."

"There are?" I asked my voice cracking at the hope to hear a new story. "Will you tell me about it?"

Rumple ruffled my hair and slowed down our walk as we reached the dirt path that would take us home. "Once upon a time."

"Cause it's always a different time," I said.

"And a different place." He added with a grin. "There was a family of six children. One day when the parents were out a man came to the door and the eldest answered. The man said he was in need of some help at his home and the eldest agreed to help."

"Did he make him agree to a Deal?" I asked my voice getting higher in pitch.

"This was not our family," Rumple said and shook his head. "No, you see the man tricked the oldest. Once the eldest got to the house they were told they needed to wait there, but they couldn't go into one room of the house. Well, curiosity is a pain, the eldest looked into the room and he screamed. The man heard his scream and knew he had looked into the room. So the brother vanished. Without a trace."

"Did the other siblings go look for him?" I asked cutting through the story. "Did they avenge him?"

"Well no one saw where the eldest had gone to, and the man went to the door again and the next eldest had the same fate, and the one after that, and the one after that. It wasn't until the youngest realized, she was alone that the man came to the door and she knew what she needed to do. She agreed to go with him and when he brought her to the house, he again told her about the door, and excused himself to get some supplies to fix the house." Rumple stopped his hands mimicking the next part. "The sister looked at the door, seeing that it was unlocked, and knowing all of her siblings were gone, she assumed the worst. She opened the door and there, laying in a mass grave were all of her siblings in bits and pieces!"

My heart pounded in my chest as I shook my head. "No, they had to be alive! Why would he kill them all!?"

Rumple shrugged. "Monsters take a lot of different faces, this one looked like a man. The youngest knew what was coming, she had guessed her siblings were prisoners or dead and knew better than to scream, she had always been the quiet one in the family. she closed the door and when the man returned he was impressed she hadn't looked into the door. He offered to take her as his bride, and she accepted, but, she was smart, she demanded she invite all of her siblings and her aunts and uncles to the wedding. The man was put off but this but he had to agree.

"The youngest went out the house's front door and called 'To all my aunts and uncles, attend me at my wedding'. and then, she turned to the door, throwing it open she showed the man she already knew what was there and called out. 'My brothers, rise up, be made whole, and attend me at my wedding'. The Man had not known the youngest child was actually a witch, one strong enough to summon her family back to her. She only needed enough time and strength to do it.

"The body parts all started to fit themselves back together, her five brothers coming out of the room, all ready to do one thing. To take vengeance on the man who murdered them." Rumple's mouth ripped into a grin, one that I mimicked as the story took a vengeful turn. "The brothers captured the man and soon the youngest's Aunts and Uncles also arrived, they were eager to take vengeance on the man who would hurt their family. They gutted him instantly, but not to have him pull the same trick the youngest pulled, they ate him. Every bit of skin, every drop of blood, none of them was left to bring back when they were done with him."

I was clapping as the story came to a close. "The youngest sounded so powerful!"

"She was a witch." He said with a chuckle. "And you could be a witch one day too Cal, Father knows people who can teach you things. How to do magic that would shake the world."

"Magic that would let me keep everyone together." I said taking the moral of the story from what I saw, that it was never wise to underestimate the youngest. "To survive anything."

He nodded and we started back down the path again. "Now you know why the others won't make fun of you. One day, you could save us all."

=

-Today-

It had been a little bit after our trip to the Shroud and I was trying to keep warm by the fire. Each crackle from the wood soothed my mind off the worries I had. Holly was safe. Valerian had been in contact only a little while ago. I had made sure to keep away from all of my family and friends for their safety. No one should be able to touch me. I'm a shadow, someone no one knows anything about.

'Do you want to see Vaymond soon?' Anne asked. She was curled up inside of my shadow, and outside of her, I was alone. She was the only one who knew what it meant to be me. To be the youngest who got free and was looking for my siblings. She had seen me and expressed my story had to be interesting.

I hate to admit that it's probably been rather dull for her since she joined me. We found my eldest brother, but the others have been like catching a firefly during a hurricane. 

"He knows I can't see him right now. He's too busy looking for a wife and taking care of the island. It's not safe. And he needs to keep our family line secure." I muttered and I was grateful my brother chose that path for himself. To be the last Beithioch means we are the only one able to keep the door open, if it's gone, then everything we collected will be lost. 

Closing my eyes I tried my best to relax the gnawing fear in my heart. The fear that something horrible was about to happen.

Silence filled my mind.

I opened my eyes to look at my shadow. The normal darkness inside of it was missing and I sat up more in my seat as I realized the constant monologue in my head was missing.

"Anne?" I asked.

Nothing responded.

Getting up from my seat I didn't know what to do. Anne was always with me from the moment she swore to protect me. She was my shadow. She was the monster I wanted to be like. I was her friend. That was our agreement.

"Anne?" I called out this time louder not caring if others in the house heard me. If they asked who I was talking to, I wouldn't have told them in the past, but now...

I listened to my mind again, but still, there was nothing. No music, no voice humming, no words blabbering about whatever story she wanted to read. It was a lonely hollow feeling in my mind and I fell back into my seat as I tried to process what I was feeling.

'OUTSIDE NOW.' Anne's voice roared into my mind, slicing me open with how fast she spoke. 'Outside, outside, outside, outside. You're in danger!'

Anne had a code phrase with me. Telling me if I was or wasn't in danger. Being in no real danger meant she could mitigate the damage I was facing. In no danger meant nothing harmful was going to happen. In danger... I could be hurt and she couldn't stop it.

Getting up from my seat again I didn't speak to anyone as I bolted out of the house. Following her instructions because not following them could lead to my death or worse. The cold of Ishgard clawed at me as much as any great beast and soon I felt my nose go numb.

"What's going on? Is it the assassins?" I asked.

But there, in the road in front of the house, lay a body.

My world was a solved jigsaw puzzle thrown up into the air. The pieces break apart, and all images are distorted into a blur. The man had long black hair, and dark skin that matched my own. His clothing looked more suitable for a semi-tropical environment, not the ice cold of Ishgard. My feet stumbled forward and down the steps of the house till I came up to the mass.

As I turn him, unfocused cornflower blue eyes that match my own look back at me with the sign of death. I knew all of my brother's faces at one point, but now they are blurry.

"I'm so sorry," I said to the man, and I knew what I was about to do would prove strange, but I had to know. I lifted up his left arm sleeve. Before my brothers and I were going to escape from our captors as children, we cut a number into each of us. Mine was on my middle back where no one would see it. My brothers all marked their arms as they assumed if they were punished their arms wouldn't be scared, unlike their backs. It had been a brutal precaution, but one I'm now grateful for.

Rolling up his left sleeve my heart sank further as the jagged '5' was still plain to be seen on his skin. Rumple, Rum, my brother.

My voice cracks as I whispered his real name, where no one could hear it. In another life, in another story that would be enough to take him from his death. But I'm not in a world with that sort of magic. His soul was already gone from his body, probably racing back home where it would be safe away from the predators this world had. He wouldn't come back...

And it was my fault.

Crumbling forward my heart twisted in my chest. I had spent months looking for Rumple and someone managed to do it before me. My job was to find my family, to bring us all back home, and I have failed in part. I took my time, I let myself be around people instead of focusing on my job. Rumple was dead because I waited.

'You tried looking for him.' Anne said, she knew my thoughts already, so of course she had to speak up.

"Did I though? I knew his captain was on the list... I knew he might be in danger and I did nothing." I had gone from sadness to anger without feeling the tears forming in my eyes. "I did nothing. I thought doing nothing would keep him safe."

Anne's form did not materialize, thankfully. She would be seen as a horror unknown to Ishgard and I didn't need that as well as the knowledge that this was my fault. Anne's voice was softer, cooing as she tried to calm me down. 'What are you going to do about it?'

"I'll make sure there is nothing for them to bring back," I replied and placed a bloody hand on my brother's head. Seeing his blood my stomach turned. I have eaten a lot of creatures before and had their blood on my hands. Seeing my own family's blood though, was sickening. "We need to get him inside, I need to go home. Vaymond and I need to mourn. The company... they don't know."

I needed someone to go with me, I couldn't carry my brother home by myself. Someone would have to help me, and that meant telling someone, everything.

There were only a few people I trusted... I just had to hope all of them were going to be alright to make the journey with me.

[kiercnmurphy]

People were like stories — at the end, there would always be another. The thing about Shay was that she wasn't just a chapter in his life, she was an entire book. Every page was tainted with memories of the time they'd spent together, of the job he'd nearly screwed up for the sake of saving what they'd built. Honesty was a far cry from what he'd given her, and in the end, he'd been the one to walk away without looking back.

So why did his knees buckle at the sound of her voice? Was it guilt? Was it shame? Or was it the shattering realization that he'd left a lot more than a few shirts behind when he'd gone ghost?

The shoulder check, intentional or not, had only reminded him that they weren't alone.

Palms fell firmly against the wooden edge of the bar, his focus on the countless bottles stacked perfectly in a row, each containing different amounts of liquor. Rum was a favorite, as was whiskey in every form. Not even a shot of every bottle before him would ease the sting that came with her voice.

Rather than crack, he offered a lazy shrug and peered down at the barely-filled glass. Fucker, he mumbled beneath his breath. What was he supposed to do with a single shot?

"It's a bar. I'm just trying to get a drink, but looks like they're running low on a personal favorite tonight," he finally countered, annoyance clear-cut as he eyed the bartender who'd moved on to the next patron a couple of seats down.

He could leave. He could toss it back, throw down some cash, and walk out. In a town as small as Lancaster, it wouldn't make a difference. The breath stuck in his throat was swallowed down harshly, lungs burning from resistance as went against every silent warning and allowed himself the danger of looking her way.

He was a fool for thinking her deep blues wouldn't pull him in like the ocean's tide, but this was different. They'd done that already. "Is that alright with you?"

Emotional warfare wasn't where her strength lied.

Physical combat and the cunning intelligence demanded for investigative positions was were Shay felt she was daunting adversary.

Yet... there he entered the bar. Quiet, sheepish, clinging to the mystique of shadows and still she knew he was there.

Sometimes people were so far under your skin you could sense them enter a room without any notification or glance to see them coming. Kieran had somehow had managed to seep under her skin, so much so that it was as though the air shifted when he'd come into The Dive.

That wasn't to give too much power to Kieran. The world be damned before Shay gave credit to the fact that he had sparked and touched places inside of her that she'd kept locked away.

Just a fling. That's all it was.

Or, what the redhead had repeatedly told herself in the wake of his hasty and quiet departure from her life. Only, he foolishly lingered around. Shay knew that, but she never chased or asked why. The woman had always been ready to show someone to the door if they wanted to walk out of her life.

Unable to even enjoy a few drinks after rough days Shay now had to apparently share space with the man that had awoken something in her, something wild and previously untamed, then dropped the lead and left the beast to tire itself in the pasture.

The eyeroll must've clued one of the other coyotes because in her peripheral Shay saw that Kieran had been shoulder checked. It put a smile on her pouty lips but she left her blues on the bartender even though she no longer heard a word of what they were saying.

"What are you doing here?" The Wild Coyote spoke in a monotone, she'd never give anything away again to Kieran.

[onlycertainty-archive]

@onlyliberty replied to your post “jim? yawning? anne? trying to stick her entire hand in his mouth to...”

g r o s s

    Yer the one puttin’ yer hands in people’s mouths. If it’s so gross don’t do it, eh?

[lady-ashfade]

Ok so I heard your call for Five prompts…*cracks knuckles* here we go bc I love ur writing!

Prompt Numbers: 3, 5, 8, 11, 13-16, 18, 20, 21, 23, 30, 31, 37-40

With an Aged!up Five x Wanda Powers!reader, and also angst with a happy ending.

(Basically I’m in a “these two people claim to hate/want to kill each other but also always flirt with each other and get jealous/angsty when the other actually tries to date someone” mood)

I hope this makes sense and has decent grammar to it.

It’s 3:34am where I am lol.

Your curse.

Five Hargreaves x female reader.

Notes: Five is always aged up here, also this isn’t really angsty so I apologize. I could do all of the prompt but I did most of them, except 21, 14 and replaced one with 28. Also things get very spicy, it’s been a long time since I’ve wrote something like this so I’m a bit rusty.

Prompts: {3} “i would die for you”, {5} “I need you.”, {8} “you matter to me”, {11} “Stop ignoring me”, {13} “ If I didn't know any better I'd say you have feelings for me”, {15} “What do you see in them that I don’t have”, {16} “I can’t stand to see you with them”, {18} “Your eyes say kiss me, but your mouth says fuck you”, {20} “You’re cute when you’re angry”, {23} “Are you jealous?”, {28} “You’re so full of yourself”, {30} “As soon as you walk into a room my head hurts.”, {31} “Why are you bleeding?”, {37} “You’re to cute not to tease”, {38} “What? I’m just kissing you”, {39} “You’re mine”, {40} “Was that a moan”.

Warnings: Sexual themes, suggested intimacy, jealously. Also bad grammar and poor writing, this sucks but I kinda like it. This is almost smut.

Five didn’t like to dwell on emotions because it wasn’t sometime he had time for or wanted to show. He had a very thick wall up in his mind to keep anything from getting out which is way he was a jerk sometimes.

Five didn’t like to dwell on emotions because it wasn’t sometime he had time for or wanted to show. He had a very thick wall up in his mind to keep anything from getting out which is way he was a jerk sometimes.

But you were something that got through so fast and he hated you for it, at first he didn’t understand it. Everyone time he looked at you he felt funny or the sound of your voice made him feel fuzzy, so he hated when you spoke.

Now he was truly sure how he felt, but this wasn’t a good time to come to terms with it. He was jealous to the point he threw a bottle of rum at the wall in frustration. You had gone out on a date with some guy you had just met.

He cared for you and it scared him so he pushed you away and you seemed to hate him too, but why wouldn’t you? After everything he’s said to you, he couldn’t blame you.

That was until he saw you from across his seat at the bar, soaking wet and had blood tripping down one of your legs. Panic set through him and he immediately ran to you.

“Why are you bleeding?” He sounded genuine but that slightly pissed you off more, thinking he was mocking you.

“Don’t patronize me five. I’m not in the mood.” you pushed passed him and walked towards the stairs. 

“I’m not mocking you. You look horrible.” That made you break even after everything that had happened he just made you break, like he always did.

“For once can you get off my ass and fuck off, you’re always trying to bring me down. So don’t acted like you give a shit about me.” You pushed your finger into his chest.

“Whether or not you and me like it…I care for you.” he pushed your fingers aside. He really meant it as he stared back into your eyes hoping you would believe him.

“Bullshit.” the words came out of you mouth like venom as you turned around and walked away from him.

He watched you leave with a broken heart, he knew he wasn’t going to get to talk with you today. But he could make it up with you, get you to see how much he truly cared for you.

Until two days later you hadn’t even spared a glance at him, leaving the room every time he walk into the room. Not to mention you acted like he wasn’t even there.

He found out from Victor that you tripped on your way home, the guy you went on a date was actually nice but to quote your words “He wasn’t my type” so you walked home in the rain.

“Get them, Steve.” You shouted at the tv in your room, silk gown on while you ate chinese food.

“Stop ignoring me.” You jumped as the man you’ve been ignoring just blinked into your room.

“Five, what the hell? I could have been naked.” He groaned as he watched you set down your takeout.

“Then stop ignoring me.” His clinched his hands into fists and you put your hands up to your forehead.

“As soon as you walk into a room my head hurts.” You couldn’t take it anymore, these past couple of days just took it out of you.

You hated being alone, you didn’t feel loved…The man you loved didn’t like you back and hated you. So you tried to cover it up with someone else for years but you just couldn’t get him out of you head.

Five Hargreaves was like a curse.

Your curse.

“Please just leave me alone, I can’t take it anymore.” You turned away from him and swing your feet off the bed and stare down at the floor.

“No, you’re going to listen because I can’t take it anymore.” he raised his voice and he was clearly wasn’t going to let it go. So you just sat there quite and waited for him to speak.

“Tonight you looked great, amazingly actually and I…” he couldn’t finish just by watching you throw your head back in a laugh.

“Oh, what. Are you jealous.” You were pissed and hurt. That’s why you found it funny.

“Goddamnit, y/n. I need you.” He yelled and before you could reacted he was right in front of you.

“What do you see in them that I don't have? I’ve watched you go on so many dates, one right after the other and I can't stand to see you with them.” You looked up at him, your cheeks heating up. Was he confessing to you? It felt like some sort of game to you.

“Five, don’t do that.” You stood up and walked past him going to the bottles of wine on the dresser.

“Don’t walk away from me, y/n. I know you feel it too, you have too.” That made you chuckle again, of course you did but he had no right to bring it up.

“After everything you’ve said to me you want me to just forget about it?” You put the cup to your lips and looking out at the small view you got through the blinds.

“You matter to me.” He took ahold of your waist and spun you around, now he was inches away and still gripping ahold of your waist.

“You have a have a funny way of showing it, asshole.” he could tell by the smell of your breath you had been drinking before he walked in.

“Tell me, why haven’t you slapped me?” He asked while pulling you closer. “Or run away from my touch. If I didn't know any better I'd say you have feelings for me.” Your breath hitched as he leaned a bit closer.

“Eat shit, asshole. You’re so full of yourself.” Rolling your eyes you set the drink down. It was the only thing you could do because you still wanted to be in his arms.

“Your eyes scream kiss me, but your mouth says fuck you.” He smirked as he felt you tension up and your breath get heavier as he got closer.

“Five..” he was painfully close and you couldn’t control yourself. You didn’t want him to just hurt you again but god. He just felt so right.

“You’re too cute not to tease.” He went closer and you closed your eyes to kiss him but his lips never came. Opening your eyes to find him have a very cocky smirk and it broke your heart and pissed you off.

“Fuck you.” You broke free and your eyes grew red with emotions. “You can’t do that.” He still smirked as he watched you walk away.

You went to open the door but soon you where spun around again and pinned against it.

“Don’t be like that love. You’re cute when you’re angry, so I had to.” He crashed his lips onto yours passionately, and rough.

He still held your waist against the door as kissed you. He couldn’t control himself, all that sexual tension and feelings just made him feral, not that you were complaining.

“You’re mine.” He growled and he sounded like he was angry and the pulling of your bottom lip between his teeth made you know he was.

You had no option but you agree with him, he was definitely possessive. Five smirked and every sparkle in his eyes darkened because was fueled by your submission.

He let your lip go and moved down into your neck, you pushed your body forward and his nails digs into your skin. Five started to lay kisses on your neck and you couldn’t hold back you’re voice any more because everything he was going made you go weak.

“Was that a moan?” You could feel his smirk and the proud and amusement in his voice. Feeling embarrassed, heat shot through your whole body. Being as powerful as you are and he still could just do this to you with ease.

“What? I’m just kissing you.” He whispered close to your ear making you shiver as his hot breath hit your skin.

You gripped onto his suit jacket and pulled it off of him, decided to take some charge back you pushed off the wall and made him walk back onto the bed.

“What are you doing?” He asked in amazement watching you try and take charge, it was adorable so he’ll let you have your fun.

You smirked and pushed him onto the bed and he fell back. You used your hands and made symbols with your magic and shot then at the wall.

“Now we can’t get a noise complaint.” You chuckled and stood before him in all glory, having him look up at you made you feel powerful.

“I would die for you.” He found his way up your legs and back to your waist.

“Five, you matter to me. So you’re not getting a chance to.” You put both of your legs on each side of him as he pulled you into his lap.

“I forgot to mention..” he trailed off and you felt him wrap his arms all the way around you then your weight shifted. Now you were on your back and him above you.

“I’m always on top” And with that his lips were back onto yours.

Help- I almost went to far- you have ideas how much I had to hold back. For so reasons my write gets shitty at times so if you don’t like is I really apologize because I tried.

[unwantedtomost]

the dead of night — bruce wayne

bruce wayne x fem!reader

word count: 3005

summary: there was only one person who ever got to see the real you and even he only got to see you like that in the dead of night.

warnings: this is spoiler free! implied angst (is that a thing?), mentions of alcohol, dirty talk, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex

a/n: i’m not the biggest dc fan but this film was really good. honestly really well done and great performances from anyone. i will probably go to see it again soon. i hope you enjoy.

It was only in the dead of night that the truth was allowed to be brought to light.

You would only let yourself indulge in your real desires under the blanket of the starry skies. It was the real, true you. The one that whined and begged. The one that pleaded to get what she wanted. You became someone completely different when the sun fell. 

There was only one person that ever got to see you that way.

He came every single time you called him. It was short and sweet. “I need you,” was all you would say and he would be on his way. He had a key, you had given it to him so you didn’t have to keep crawling out of bed when you heard his knock at the door. He usually arrived between two and three, an hour or two after you would call him. No matter how late, he always arrived.

Tonight was no different. Your head turned from where you sat on the couch to the sound of your door being unlocked. You watched until the door began to open to which you would turn your attention back to the television. Tonight you were fostering a homemade rum and coke, something you knew he would scold you for. Maybe that was part of why you did it.

He stood in front of you looking no different than usual. His hair was black and stringy, his pale skin covered with an assortment of cuts and bruises he would never explain to you. The bags under his eyes weren’t any worse than they always were but they were, like always, bad. He examined you with the same fervency you did to him and you knew it.

“Hi, Bruce,” you said quietly. Your voice came out in cracks as you hadn’t spoken out loud since you originally called him.

“Hi,” he said in his always deep voice.

He reached his hand out and you put the half-empty glass in his hand. He took a drink of it and his face twisted lightly. You knew he wasn’t a fan of rum.

“It was all I had left,” you explained for whatever reason. “Knocked out the last of the wine a few weeks back. Haven’t gone back to get any yet.”

“You know you shouldn’t drink this late. You’re gonna get a hangover.”

“What does it matter? I don’t have work in the morning.”

“It’s not a good habit.”

“You really aren’t either.”

He sighed and handed the drink back to you. You both knew that you shouldn’t do what you were doing but it was so hard. There objectively wasn’t anything bad about it. You were both single, consenting adults partaking in a late-night typically triweekly booty call. Despite that, you both knew that it was bad. It was a bad habit. It would only end if one of you was strong enough, but you would never stop calling and he would never stop coming over.

“How was work?”

He would always do that. He would change the subject when you brought up the reality of the situation. You couldn’t even say it pissed you off because it never did, you didn’t want to admit the truth just as much as he didn’t. You were just more inclined to bring it up. He’d ask about dumb things he already knew the answer to. How your day was, work, family, plans, but he’d do it every time.

“It was just fine,” you said before finishing your drink. “All your finances are in order, Mr. Wayne.”

He gave you that look that made your stomach twist with guilt. The look that told you not to remind him that he was technically your boss. 

You worked for Wayne Enterprises in money management. You were a glorified account surrounded by fifteen other people who did the same job. You made sure that nothing fishy was happening. You would get files from someone below you and read over them, make sure nothing seemed out of ordinary, then you would pass it to the next person to read over. It was a truly mind-numbing experience. But it paid well, and more importantly, your father set you up for this job. So you had to whether you wanted to or not.

You really didn’t give a shit about the fact that Bruce was signing your checks, but he did, so you felt bad for bringing it up. Despite the fact that you had known him for years when you were younger with your families being friends, he still hated that you worked for him.

“Sorry, Bruce,” you corrected yourself, feeling meek in his presence.

You stood from your seat on the couch as you brought your dirty glass to the sink. He had followed behind you. When you turned around and looked at him again, you could clearly see a bruise on his cheekbone you didn’t know was there before. You reached your hand up and ran your fingertips over it with feather-light touches. Despite the fact that you were being as gentle as possible, he still winced the slightest bit. It was so small that someone who hadn’t been around him for as long as you had wouldn’t notice it.

“Are you ever gonna tell me what you do to get yourself banged up like this?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It’s killing you, Bruce, it obviously matters a little bit.”

He grabbed the hand that was touching his cheek by the wrist before gently kissing the palm of it.

It was moments like this that reminded you why you kept calling Bruce. He could be so gentle and loving. These small forms of affection showed you that he cared even the littlest bit. He wasn’t your boyfriend, he was barely a friend, but he continued to come over every time you called.

“Why don’t you talk to me?” you whispered, terrified to speak about what you were thinking.

He didn’t say anything, shocker. He just leaned in to kiss you. Though part of you wanted to make him have a conversation with you, his lips were intoxicating. Your hand snaked up his body to pull him closer to you. His hands went to your hips, right where they belonged. He hoisted you up with little effort to set you on your kitchen counter. He wedged himself between your thighs and you instinctively wrapped your legs around him to pull him closer into you.

Your hands went under his grey t-shirt to feel his rippling muscles. You groaned into the kiss as your fingertips brushed over his toned stomach. It wasn’t even something important to you but it was something that turned you on so quickly. He knew you were a fan of the abs that he had gained from his illicit activities and it was something that gave him a smug confidence. He smirked from the noises you made through the kiss from running your hands through his physique. That smirk would be burned into your memory forever.

He pulled his shirt off, giving you a moment to breathe. You took a second to take in everything about him. He had a few scrapes adorning his abdomen which made you frown slightly. Whatever was going on with him had been happening for the past few years and he would never tell you. You wanted to just move on but it distracted you. You just wanted to know what got him so banged up but you had a feeling that he would never tell you.

Bruce saw the way your eyes got caught on his minor injuries and he too adopted the small frown on your lips. He lightly grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger to tilt your face up to look into his bluish-green eyes.

“Look at me,” he said quietly. 

You stared into his eyes at his request. You couldn’t read him but you wished more than anything that you could. He was going to distract you, you knew he was. There was no way that he was going to address what you just saw. That’s not how Bruce Wayne rolled. 

Instead of doing anything to reassure you, he just held eye contact as he started to make work of your sleep pants. He untied them before slowly pulling them down. You melted as his eyes never left yours. He ran his fingers over your cotton-clad pussy. That same damn smirk appeared on his face as he felt how wet you already were.

“Bruce,” you whined, your hands finding their way into his hair.

“Tell me what you want.”

You bucked your hips forward, trying to express your desires without words.

He looked at you displeased. “Gotta use your words.”

“Please, Bruce,” you whined, not wanting to say it.

He didn’t say anything to you this time, just scolding you with his eyes.

“Eat me out.”

You choked it out, your face going red with embarrassment. It sounded so meek and childish coming from your lips. You wondered if it was moments like this that gave him some kind of satisfaction. If it did, what did he like about it? Was it making you feel embarrassed or the fact that he, in some sense, was bending you to his will?

“Was it really that hard?” he said with an infuriating small smile.

He gently pulled your underwear down your legs, throwing them in a pile with your pajamas. He kissed his way up from your ankle to your inner thigh. You knew he was purposely leaving marks on your thighs to remind you of him in the morning. It gave him reassurance knowing that there was something to link you back to the taboo activities you participated in when the rest of the city was asleep.

“Stop teasing,” you whine.

He obliged and licked a long strip up your slit. You let out a loud moan at the contact. It had been three weeks since his last visit and you hadn’t gotten any actions from anyone else. You relished these moments because every single time you were scared it was your last.

A mixture of his licking, sucking, and kissing made your head fall back with pleasure as you tugged at his hair. You knew that he was spelling his name on your clit, it was something he always did. A small way to say “you’re mine.” Your mind was in a blissful haze as he devoured your most sensitive parts. No matter how bad of a habit this was, it would never end. He would never stop wanting to taste you and you would never want to lose the feeling of his tongue inside of you.

You were close, very close, and he knew it. He slipped a finger in, only hijacking you into your orgasm. His pace was relentless. You were cumming in a matter of seconds.

A scream escaped your lips, followed shortly after with a cry of his name. Your thighs slammed shut around his head which only encouraged his actions. He helped you ride out your orgasm, emerging from in between you with red, wet lips. You let out a whine when you saw him like that—he was absolutely beautiful.

“Want you,” you murmur, “inside of me.” 

You pulled him up and closer to you. Your nimble fingers worked at getting his pants down. He helped you, pushing down his pants and boxers along with them. He kicked them off to this side. Now he was left completely naked and you were only left in your flimsy tank top.

His member stood at attention. He ran his fingers over your dripping core to run some of your wetness along with himself. You kept eye contact with him as you spat into your hand. You took him into your hand and began to pump him slowly, a small smirk adorning your face as you heard his soft noises. Once he had enough of your smug look, he grabbed your wrists and placed them against that counter.

“You want me to fuck you?” he asked even though he knew the answer.

You almost wanted to laugh at the obvious statement but you didn’t. You simply nodded.

“Please.”

He lined his cock up with your entrance and slowly pushed in. He was big and thick. Even though this was a pretty common occurrence, it still took you a little bit to readjust to his length and size. You held on tightly to his shoulder as he pushed the rest of the way into you.

His thrusts started slow, his cock dragging in and out of your walls feeling nothing less than heavenly. You began an attack on his neck as he started to thrust into you with more power. You found his sweet spot quickly like you had done so many times before. You sucked with purpose. You wanted to mark up his body with the intention of him seeing them in the morning and remembering what he had done the night before. You wanted to force him to remember you. Because no matter how many times he climbed into you every time he called, in the morning he would refuse to believe it happened.

His thrusts were borderline brutal. He spared no expense as his hips slammed into yours. You were close, again, already. Your nails began to dig into the skin on his back, running down to create deep red scratches. Yeah, he definitely wasn’t going to forget about those any time soon.

The apartment was filled with the slapping of skin, unforgiving moans, and your long-forgotten television. That’s exactly what a Thursday night sounded to you.

You tried to pull him closer to you as you felt yourself approaching your peak.

“Bruce, I’m gonna…”

“I know.”

He continued his quick assault and in an instance, both of you were cumming together. You felt his hot load shoot into you as you bit down hard on his shoulder.

Your orgasm was so intense you were literally shaking. You had no idea how Bruce was still standing in front of you. You slumped into him and stayed that way for a long while as you tried to catch your breath. 

When you felt like you could actually function semi-normally, you sat up. You gave him a small smile and he returned it. When he slipped out of you, you felt completely empty. It was almost strong enough to make you feel sad in some odd way.

Bruce didn’t say anything as he picked up his close and walked the short distance to your bathroom to clean himself up. You stayed put on your counter, still not sure if your legs would be able to keep you standing up straight if you tried to use them. He tossed you a damp towel which you caught and started to clean yourself up with.

“You should pee so you don’t get a UTI,” he said quietly from the bathroom.

“I know, Bruce,” you said with a small chuckle at the familiar advice.

When he was finished, he turned off the bathroom light, returning the room to its hazy darkness. The only light now being your television and whatever leaked in from the street lights outside of your window. He grabbed your pajama pants and helped you slip back into him. He grabbed you and set you down on the ground.

“I’m really going to have to disinfect that counter in the morning,” you said with a small smile.

You always tried to crack a joke or to at the end of the night, when you knew he was getting ready to leave. Maybe some part felt if you had been funny enough he would stay but he never did. As you stood in front of him, you cursed yourself for not leading the two of you into your bedroom when he arrived. It was slightly easier to let him go when you were already curled up under the warm covers. Now you were going to have to watch him walk out the door and out of your life. The fact that you would be calling him in a matter of a few weeks did nothing to soothe that tension that was created in your stomach.

“Can you tuck me in?” you blurted out before you knew what you were doing. You were doing whatever it took to hold onto the night for just a little bit longer.

“Sure,” he said with a monotone coolness.

You walked straight into your bedroom nervously, leaving it up to him to turn off your television. Bruce arrived in your room shortly after you. You crawled under the comforter, looking like a child waiting for their daddy. 

He sat down on the edge of your bed, taking a moment to encapsulate this in his memory. Even after he had just fucked you on a kitchen counter, he was baffled by how innocent you looked. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss onto your forehead.

“Goodnight,” he said in a low voice. “Sleep good tonight.”

When you closed your eyes and began to shift to try to go to sleep, he stood and began making his venture out of your room.

“Goodbye, Bruce,” you called out barely above a whisper.

He stopped for a moment before saying it back and then he disappeared.

In the morning the only thing that would be left to remind you of this night was the hangover you’d be fostering and the bruises Bruce left on your thighs. You would begin the short process of shoving whatever version of yourself would come out at moments like these. In the morning you would make yourself forget about being with Bruce until the next time you decided to call him for a booty call.

If you were being cynical, that’s just how it worked. You would only ever be allowed to experience Bruce Wayne in the dead of night.

[tomhardyspinkyfinger]

Moving in

Masterlist

Summary: Alfie moves Y/N into his house after her safety is questioned.

Word count: 2660

Warnings: Language, angst, violence, minor mentions of r!pe,

A/N: hope you guys enjoy the third part in this series! Thanks for reading and showing love <3

Part 1 Part 2

Some peeps i forgot to tag: @hecatemoon87 @solomons-finest-rum @tomhardysforeheadlines @darklydeliciousdesires

- Y/N got ready for bed, grinning from ear to ear the whole time. After completing her night routine she laid in bed with joy overflowing from her heart.

Her inconceivable happiness was disturbed a few hours into her restful sleep when she heard the unmistakable sound of a window being broken into downstairs. -

I awoke suddenly to the sound of glass breaking in the den. I could hear muffled voices of men working their way up the stairs. I thanked my lucky stars that Mauve wasn't home before jumping out of bed and running to the bedroom door, locking it. I rushed to the other side of the room where the phone sat on my vanity. I dialed Alfie's number, not knowing who else to call.

After a few rings and my desperate plea's to pick up, his voice filtered through the other end.

"Who in gods name is calling at this hou-"

"Alfie, Alfie it's me its Y/N, there are men in my house they broke in. I-I don't know what to do." I spoke as quietly as possible, my voice cracking as I pushed back tears.

"Right, stay where you are I'm on my way." He spoke. The door handle started shaking from across the room.

"Open up Miss Y/L/N!" The man called from outside of the door. This wasn't just a robbery, this man knew me by name. I heard the voices of two men again quietly conversing before the banging began, they were beginning to break into the room.

"Alife, they're breaking down the door I don't know what to do." I spoke, tears now flowing freely.

"I need you to hide in your closet love, don't make a sound I'm leaving now." Alfie said, his voice reassuring me. We disconnected the call and I rushed into the closet, the door shutting behind me. There wasn't a lot of room for me to hide, so I crouched on the ground, hoping the darkness of the room would contain my position.

The door finally gave away and I listened to both pairs of footsteps make their way into the room.

"We heard you talking bambina, we know you're in here." The man spoke, his accent now clear to me.

Italians.

I knew Alfie met with them on a few occasions but he always kept me out of the illegal business and meetings. I held my breath and eyed the shadow of two feet under the closet door. The door swung open and I was pulled out of the closet by my hair.

"There you are!" The man exclaimed, yanking me to my feet. I moaned out in pain as he forced me to look at him.

"This is the whore Solomons has become enticed with? We kept our eyes on you being his secretary and all, but now that he has gone the lengths of courting you, we can send him a message." I look towards the other man, pleading him with my eyes to make this stop. He simply looked away and my attention was pulled back to the man holding me, who raised his hand and backhanded me with heavy force.

I landed on the ground with a thud and was quickly dragged back into my standing position. In the tussle of my fall my robe fell open a bit, my bra showing.

"I see why the Jew has taken a liking." The man made a sickening smirk, moving his vile hands up my hips close to my breasts, but not touching them. I held my breath as he turned me around and threw me to the bed.

"Here's what's going to happen, we are both going to use you like the whore you are and then you will run to your little Jew and tell him all about it." The man said, approaching the bed. I swallowed my fear and glared, spitting in his face as he got closer.

Another swift slap to the face, this one breaking the skin of my lip was what I received.

"You stupid whore." The man growled. Before he could hit me again or do anything else, the other man who had remained otherwise silent spoke up.

"Anthony, we've got a problem." The man said, looking out the window. I glanced in his direction and saw the unmistakable lights from a car shining through the curtains.

"Speaking of Mr. Solomons." I said, forcing a smile. The man now known as Anthony clenched his jaw releasing me and motioning for his friend to follow.

"Out the back, now." The men were gone as quickly as they came and I let out a breath of relief, tightening my robe and wiping my tears that kept flowing. A few moments later Alfie rushed in, hair disarray and clothes half buttoned. I rushed off the bed and into his arms, letting out a choked sob I had been holding back.

"It's alright love, I'm 'ere now." He spoke gently, smoothing my hair with his hand while I sobbed. We stayed like that for a while before I pulled away quickly, panic taking over my body.

"A-alfie what about Mauve, she's sleeping at her friend's house down the street. What if they go after her?" I questioned, my breathing growing heavy. Alfie brought me over to the bed and sat me down, pushing my hair behind my ears and wiping my tears.

"They won't do that. Those fuckin' wops got their message across by hurting you. 'Ere's what were gonna do right, you're going to sit there while I pack a bag for you an' Mauve an' then you both are going to stay with me. We will pick 'er up together in the morning." Alfie assured, rubbing the pads of his thumbs over my cheeks gently. I nodded and he began to throw some things in a bag. I knew I'd have to come back and repack eventually, I hid my smile as Alfie shoved an old ball gown into a bag.

After he gathered what he found suitable for Mauve and I, we were on our way to his home. I was wearing Alfie's trench, pulled closed to cover me completely. It was perfect, like wearing a blanket that smelled like him. When we arrived Alfie carried my bags in, muttering to someone or something.

"Mate, calm down, don't go frightenin' er'" I entered behind Alfie and was greeted by a giant slobbering dog. I kneeled down to scratch behind his ears and smiled at his wagging tail.

"You must be Cyril huh?" I asked, his ears perking up. He leaned forward and covered my face with slobber, giving me what I assume he thinks is a kiss. Alfie grabbed him by his collar and shooed him away, cursing him for slobbering. I stood and examined my surroundings, it was dark and homey.

"It ain't much but this is my home, the guest room is this way." Alfie spoke, I followed him up the stairs and into a quaint but comfortable room with a big bed and a roaring fire place. I noticed the tub of water in front of the fireplace and smiled.

"I 'ad my maid draw you a bath before I left." He said, scratching his face. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him again.

"Thank you, Alfie." I muttered.

"This wouldn't 'ave happened if it weren't for me, and for that I am truly sorry." Guilt laced his voice and I took a step back, looking up at him.

"I knew who I signed on to work for when I was hired last year, these threats were as present then as they are now. Don't blame yourself for this." Alfie raised his hand and gently placed his finger to the corner of my mouth where the blood from earlier had now dried. I flinched at the pain and his hand dropped.

"Don't let the bath get cold, I'm across the hall if you need me, shout." He said, leaving the room and shutting the door.

-

It had been a few weeks of Mauve and I staying with Alfie. We would drop Mauve at school in the morning together and go to work together, and yet Alfie and I seemed distant.

I didn't know how to bring it up, I didn't even know if we were still.. dating, if you could call it that. He was an absolute dream with Mauve, she admired him and he her. We continued working together like nothing has changed, but that was a mutual agreement between us.

I expressed that I didn't want anyone in the bakery knowing about us because I didn't want them thinking I was getting special privileges. Alfie agreed, he said it made sense to keep us living together discrete, as to not draw unwanted attention from any more of his enemies.

I didn't know this discretion would apply to us directly. I had a plan and was determined to set it into motion. After laying Mauve to bed for the night in another beautiful guest room she was occupying, I retired to my room.

I poured myself a hefty glass of rum and downed it in one go, hoping the drink would take my edge off. I changed into a lingerie set I had bought recently, admiring myself in the mirror and groaning.

This is an awful idea

I poured myself another hefty glassed and downed that one the same, the warmth now starting to fill my body. Alfie was still at the bakery tying up some unfinished business but he told me he'd be home around this time. I grabbed my robe and secured it before grabbing the bottle of rum and tiptoeing to Alfie's room. On the way, I checked in on Mauve, where she was out like a light exactly how I expected.

Cyril's head popped up from where he lay beside her, but he laid back down when he was sure it was just me. That dog had become enamored with Mauve, and she loved him more than anything. I smiled at the pair and shut the door, making my way to Alfie's room.

I untied my robe and laid it over his chair, examining myself in his mirror again before rubbing my face. This is madness. A third cup should help waver this anxiety.

The third cup led to four, and then I realized I was a bit knackered.

I need to leave this room, I'm tipsy! This is not sexy and it was an awful plan to begin with!

I rushed to his door quickly but halted in my steps as I heard Alfie's footsteps in the hallway.

Pull back! Pull back! Mission failed!

I snagged my robe off of the chair and tied it around myself just in time for the door to open. Alfie stood, not expecting me to be standing in his room in my short, silky robe.

"What're you doing in 'ere?" He questioned, taking his hat off and placing it on his dresser. I looked around for an excuse and saw his shoes by the foot of the bed. I grabbed them quickly and straightened back up.

"Cleaning."

"Cleaning?" I nodded.

"I figured I would tidy up your room for you since you've been doing so much for me, is all." I said, proud of my ability to lie so quickly.

"You're 'tidying' up at 10pm?" He said, scratching his beard and looking at me in suspicion. I nodded and he glanced behind me, pointing to the bottle of rum I left on his desk.

"An' that? That help the tidyin'?" I sighed and dropped the shoes, letting my shoulders sag.

"I came in here.. to talk .. about why you've been so distant. I thought our date was nice, well until I was attacked but everything before that!" I spoke, exasperated.

"You was the one who said we should end this." Alfie said, slightly irritated.

"When?! When did I say that?! You daft man! I would never have said that! For Christ sakes I came in here to fuck you!" The words fell out of my mouth like vomit. No more rum for me. I slapped a hand over my mouth and sighed.

"Let me get this, right, you came in 'ere to fuck me? After you ended things?" He questioned.

"Why do you keep saying that! I never ended things." I groaned, rubbing my temple. This awful exchange was sobering me up, the effects of the rum going from fun to foul.

"You said just the other week we should take a break with each other, you said it right to me in my office." Alfie said his eyes widening the way they did when he was angry.

"I said we should take it easy with one another at work!" I huffed out. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, missing the feeling of him against me. His arms wrapped around my waist.

"I wasn't ending anything, I really like you and want to be with you, Alf." I spoke, leaning up and pressing my lips to his. He reciprocated quickly and grabbed me tighter.

Alfie pushed my robe down my shoulders, pulling away to look down at my body. I instinctively covered my insecurities but he removed my hands.

"You're so fuckin' fit, love." He said before kissing me again. He hoisted me up into his arms without breaking the kiss. He moved us to the bed and tossed me down, I bounced a few times before my eyes widened. I rushed off the bed and into the bathroom, spilling my guts into the toilet. Alfie followed me in and rubbed my back, pulling my hair back with his other hand.

"I didn't think kissin' me was that repulsive." I could hear his smug smile through his words. I sniffled a bit.

"Why are you cryin, love?" He questioned. I looked up at him and wiped my tears.

"This is embarrassing." I muttered, wiping the vomit off my lips with my other hand. He smiled and filled me a cup of water from the sink, handing it to me.

"It's actually rather fitting if you think about it, our first date had you covered in oysters and now the first time we try to fuck you vomit everywhere." Alfie said with a shrug. I let out a giggle and sipped my water.

After getting myself cleaned up and changed into proper pajamas Alfie tugged me into bed with him.

"You need a proper cuddle, love. Our first time will be much better than a rum filled romp, I promise." Alfie said, pulling me into his arms.

-

I awoke to muffled voices talking. I kept my eyes closed when I identified the voices.

"Did mummy have a nightmare? Is that why she slept here? When I have nightmares she lets me sleep with her." Mauve spoke.

"Yeah, your mum was a bit frightened sleeping in that big room all alone, so I let her stay 'ere." Alfie responded.

"Oh. I don't really get frightened here, Cyril keeps me safe!" Mauve exclaimed.

"Cyril is good at that, innit he?" Alfie questioned. I peaked open one eye to see Mauve leaning against Alfie's chest as Alfie lay against the headboard. Cyril was there as well, laying on Alfie's legs. Both of them had managed to trap Alfie to the bed. I cracked a smile.

"Mummy, I see you smiling, you can't pretend to be asleep!" Mauve called out. I opened both eyes and reached out to stroke her cheek gently.

"Good morning, my love. What are you doing up this early?" I questioned.

"Alfie promised me yesterday he would make special pancakes for me! And Cyril and I are hungry." Mauve whined. Alfie shook Cyril up and off his legs and left the bed, holding Mauve in his arms.

"Right, to the kitchen we go then, I need a helping hand." Mauve cheered at Alfie's words and they were off downstairs after Alfie bent down to my laying form and pressed a kiss to my lips, then turning and let Mauve kiss my forehead.

I lay there with a broad grin and let out a sigh.

I think I love Alfie Solomons.

[rainbowsky]

I'm a relatively new turtle, and I'm wondering: if China is cracking down on "effeminate" looking male artists / LGBTQ content in their media... Then how come GG and DD don't seem to have a problem endorsing products/clothes traditionally considered as "for women". Examples: GG endorsing NARS make-up, and DD appearing on Vogue and at events wearing outfits designed for women? It's confusing for me.

Hi, I'm the anon who asked about GG and DD promoting "feminine" merchandise. I ran out of characters 😔 I was gonna add that I love how DD rocks both masculine and feminine outfits with such confidence. It's one of the things I love about him 😍

Yes, there is such a policy. I wrote a bit about it back when the updated regulations were released. Just FYI, this policy isn't really 'new', it just seems that it's being more heavily regulated and promoted, and more strictly enforced.

To answer your question about why male artists are still endorsing women's products in China (pretty much all major male artists do, not just GG and DD), it's quite simple: women are their primary audience/fan base, and brands want to access those audiences in their marketing. All marketing strives to appeal to the target market, and what could be more appealing to the average affluent woman than a beautiful man?

It's understandable that you find it confusing. You aren't alone. There has been quite a bit of confusion and uncertainty, likely even among brands and artists and producers of media. The rules are somewhat vague and ambiguous, and open to interpretation.

Which seems to be part of the regime's MO with such things. By hinting at what they want in vague terms rather than specifics, they leave more latitude and flexibility in how they can enforce it, and upon who. Moreover, they leave the responsibility (and the blame) in terms of how and where the boundaries are set in the hands of producers, artists and creators rather than with the regime.

This can lead to over-interpretation and more extreme restraint than was even initially intended by the regime, as producers scramble to ensure they are being compliant.

So I think it's made things a bit awkward for brands, and we've seen a massive shift in how some of this advertising has been handled. In the past with Shu Uemura, for example, we used to see DD getting beautiful eye color looks, and now we just see him holding products or wearing much more restrained looks.

As for the feminine styling, that sadly appears to have gone the way of the dinosaur. We won't see DD in that styling again anytime soon. He still wears Chanel clothing, but it's styled in a distinctly more masculine way than in the past.

I agree, it was always nice to see DD's genderbending fashion. It's sad that lately he has been so limited in what he's able to do with it. Unfortunately there's nothing anyone can do to change that, so there's not much use in getting too worked up about it. He's always stunning regardless of what he wears.

In that post I linked to, from back when the tightening regulations were first announced, I had a list of things there that I said I planned to keep an eye on. We definitely have more information now on how those items have been affected:

SDOC4 and people like AC - He ended up having to cut his hair, although he was at least able to continue in the competition and went quite far. He has even had some endorsement work since then, with Red Bull and Martell Rum.

Male celebrity endorsements with 'women’s' brands such as Shu Uemura and Chanel - As I mentioned above, yes, they were heavily impacted in terms of the types of ads and product placement they've been able to do with men. But at least the endorsements have been able to continue rather than being cancelled.

DD’s fashion for red carpet events - Tragically, he's been decidedly masculine in all of his styling since this crackdown.

BL dramas - It's still unclear what will air and what won't. Nothing new has aired since the crackdown. Projects are still being filmed and worked on, but it's unclear whether they'll ever see the light of day.

If you're interested, there was an excellent article about this topic a while back, discussing why this ban on 'effeminate men' is likely to backfire. A great read. (If you come across a paywall, disabling javascript will take you to the full text of the article.)

Also @exitchasedbyawookie's response to my previous post provides more interesting, valuable insight on this topic.

Hope that helps, Anon!

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Five)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 12.1k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (?) sad oc, mentions of sex, kind of over the clothes action, drama, heated dance session lol, slight memory of sex, hair pulling, back scratching, mention of boner, second chances (?)

Notes: Okay, first of all THAT 1st TEASER PIC!!! DID WE SEE THAT? *chefs kiss*. Anyway thanks for comments you guys leave I really love reading them!!! Remember to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:) have a great week everyone!

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May

Gloomy: The dictionary may describe it as hopeless and despairing but really it should just be a picture of your sad, sad face.

1 month…yes, one whole month has passed since you last spoke to Jungkook. No text, no calls, no random show ups, nothing. Gloom. Gloom. Gloom. Graduation came and gone so quickly…you walked the stage with your friends minus two but honestly you can hardly remember the event. You tried your hardest to be as excited as everyone else but the feeling of gloom stayed with you.

By the end of the month you finally started accepting he isn’t coming back and right around that time you actually heard from him—Jungkook that is. He sent you a pathetic text that he’s moving out and will be by to retrieve his things. More gloom.

The next couple weeks after that are a blur, you recall the sound of movers throughout your apartment. You didn’t have the courage to speak to him…you didn’t have the courage to even leave your room if you didn’t have to. You were so wrapped up in everything you didn’t even consider that fact that you will have to find a new roommate to cover the other half of the rent.

Every day just dragged on, every day a repeat of the last. Wake up, drown in black coffee, scroll mindlessly through your phone and work your full time job. You called in sick too many days already so you have to go or you’re at risk at getting fired. The same day, every day. The same gloomy fucking day.

Jimin tried to call or text every day to make sure you were like, alive. He apologized over and over for not telling you as soon as he found out about the Taehyung situation but he felt that if Taehyung was going to tell you then it is best it comes from him and not Jimin. You can understand that. He also frequently would show up at your apartment to surprise you but you rarely let him in. You did feel bad though, he’s just trying to be there for you.

Jimin 6:04pm

Please let me in?

Jimin 6:05pm

Well…I have some take out for you babe, ill leave it on the doorstep.

Jimin 6:05pm

Call me sometime ok? Love you

Guilt would consume your body but you just couldn’t deal with human contact right now.

June

Around month 2 you finally felt okay to see people again—your close people that is—aka Jimin was finally allowed in, he made you take a hot bath while he cleaned up for you and made you a proper meal. The amount of instant ramen containers lying around the place was by far one of the grossest things he’s seen. The shit that was growing…he shudders just thinking about it.

He would come over every day after work in the evenings. He left day time babysitting to Trina.

“Girl…all this over a boy?” she would constantly say.

You also tried applying for job after job, but the postgraduation life is harder than you thought…at least for you. Jimin landed a job as a kids choreographer, Trina starts up at one of the local elementary schools as a kindergartner teacher and you? You’re still working at the bakery down the street. You applied for many entry level positions in the marketing field but failed miserably in interviews…which only further discouraged you and worsened your mood.

It was also around this time you decided to finally delete Jungkook off all social media and block his number. You refuse to hear from him at this point…not that he was reaching out or anything. You wonder what he’s up to postgraduation? No, you don’t want to know or care. You considered hanging up a picture of his face on your wall so you could throw darts at it but you decided that was maybe on the crazy side. Taehyung sends you weekly texts, asking about how your day/week is going. He updates you on his life as well, apparently he got the curator assistant position at the museum that he wanted. You still feel hurt over everything but you are happy for him. It’s funny, you feel so betrayed over that but Jungkook is the cause of your gloom.

Every day just drags on, you feel heavy everywhere you go. Even when you’re just at home in bed.

By the end of the month your friends somehow convinced you to go on a date—a horrible date at that.

He was awkward as hell, a bad kisser and would lightly…tap your ass in attempt to be sexy. It was a disaster, you don’t even remember what the two of you even talked about at dinner. You just remember his tongue being horribly shoved down your throat and his weird ass tapping habit.

July

Then month 3 finally came around. A month where the weeks went by breathing became just a bit easier. Yes, any and everything still reminded you of Jungkook but it didn’t hurt as terribly as the previous months. By the end of the month you even agreed to your first real social outing. You are hesitant, but you agreed…

“I don’t know guys…a birthday party? We like, don’t even know the girl?” you frown, nibbling on the flesh of your bottom lip.

You are sitting in the middle of your bedroom floor, clothes piling all around you as you try to decide on what to wear.

“You need to get out babe…plus it’s a friend of a friend, so it’s cool.” Jimin says holding up a rose colored crop top, motioning for you to nod yes or no to his suggestion. You cock your head to the side, deciding what pants to go with it.

“I have to say I agree with Jimin, y/n.” your new roommate Holly chips in, “Since I’ve moved in I don’t think I’ve seen you go out even once.”

“Also a party is the best place to find some easy dick.” Of course that’s what Trina has to offer.

“Yes to the crop top Jimin.” You point your head towards the shirt, “Okay don’t have to call me out like that Holly.” You glare at your roomie, “And Trina, we both know I ain’t ready for no type of dick.”

“So we’re looking for some pussy tonight?” Trina smirks, “Nice.”

You rolls your eyes, a chuckle escaping your lips, “Shut up.” you throw a pair of shorts at her face.

“But seriously y/n…Maybe Trina is on to something…” Jimin sits down next to you, crossing his legs in front of him, “Maybe this is a good chance to like—”

“If you say move on I will literally kill you.” You cut in, “There’s nothing to move on from!” you throw your hands up dramatically. “Taehyung used me, Jungkook wants nothing to do with me. And—”

“Then why aren’t you ready for any type of dick?” Holly puts in her 2 fucking cents.

“Because I don’t want to be associated with any boys! Jimin is the exception.”

“Somehow I don’t feel flattered by that…” Jimin puts a hand on your shoulder.

“When’s the last time you got off?” Trina abruptly asks. You turn your head in shock at her shamelessness.

“Trina!”

“Answer her, I’m curious too.” Jimin squints at you trying not to laugh.

“It’s…” your eyes slide to the side, “It’s been a while.”

Trina shakes her in disapproval, “Damn girl, really? My fingers constantly playing DJ, you know what I’m sayin?” Trina goes in for a fist bump but you just push her hand away.

“You’re gross.” You laugh out loud, and it sounds like music to everyone’s ears.

“I’m just real babey.” She flicks her hair back with a proud smile on her face.

Having these 3 around has no doubt helped you deal with the loss you feel. You feel like you are still mourning the dead. How’s Jungkook even doing? You’re too afraid to ask Jimin. Too afraid that he’s doing amazing without you. He must of realized how much better off he is without you around and that makes you feel small.

“Fine…” you mutter under your breath…Jimin snaps his head to look at you, his sly smile growing as he watches you fiddle with a short mini skirt.

“Fine what?” Trina asks with a smirk.

“Let’s find me some dick tonight.”

“Hell fucking yeah.” Jimin claps his hands together, “Tonight is about you!”

“y/n makes her debut tonight! She’s hot, she’s single and she is ready to mingle!”

You can’t help but giggle, your hands bunching up the material of the mini skirt as you look down at it, making your decision.

“Let me get ready and we can get this night started!” you rush to your feet, all the sudden feeling excited for tonight. You are going to actually do your hair and your makeup—you even shaved. You are definitely breathing easier tonight and you have to take advantage of that!

“Let’s do shots as we wait girlies,” Holly shows a bottle of rum she had hiding behind her back, shaking it in excitement.

“Naughty girl.” Jimin winks, standing to his feet, heading towards the kitchen to grab some shot glasses.

You get ready quickly, but taking your time where it counts. You give yourself a once over in the mirror and you have to say you are impressed. Your black jean mini skirt sits right below your ass, while your tits pop in this rose crop top. You wear short heels, and simple jewelry with just the right amount of makeup that makes your features stand out, and you have to say you would kiss yourself if you could—you look fucking good.

“woooooo” Jimin and Trina whistle out at the same time as they walk back in your bedroom.

“I’d fuck.” Jimin says plainly.

“Same as fuck.” Trina says bluntly as she swallows down a shot.

“Yeah you look pretty y/n!” Holly smiles, not really on the same level of honestly as your other two friends.

You burst into giggles, throwing your head back in approval. “Thanks guys…..Lets fucking do this.” You walk towards Trina and grab her shot glass, and you take the bottle from Holly, pouring yourself a shot.

“Ready to fucking mingle.” You gulp down the rum, the burn only encouraging you, the warmth stinging your entire chest and you couldn’t feel more content.

This house was one of the bigger ones, it was full of people and more people and like, more people. You managed to swallow down 3 or 4 shots back at your apartment and the alcohol is definitely working its magic on you, the world just a little nicer.

The amount of people doesn’t even bother you like it usually would, instead you find yourself barging through the front door and making your way to the dance floor with your 3 friends trialing behind you.

The heat of the living room is already intoxicating you, the amount of bodies rolling and grinding makes you feel loose and free. Before you know it Jimin is pushing a drink into your hands and you hug him gratefully as you begin chugging it back.

“Woah slow down, we have all night—actually fuck it, I like your spirit tonight!” he chuckles lightly, his hands going to your waist, rocking you to the beat of the blaring music. Trina and Holly disappear into the kitchen to grab more drinks while you and Jimin dance to whatever b…t…ah, forget it, you forgot the band’s name.

“Are you having fun?” Jimin slurs out, his eyes barely visible as he laughs at nothing.

“So much fun!” you yell out over the music then you lean down into his ear and whisper, “Thanks so much Jiminie…I know I was a little difficult…”

“A little?” he teases.

Jimin’s eyes travel behind you before they are widening. You notice, of course. You are about to turn your head to take a look at whatever he is seeing when his snaps back to you in panic, his troubled smile growing.

“Let’s go find Trina and Holly, yeah?” he tries to usher you toward the kitchen and you oblige. Too drunk and feeling too good that his odd behavior goes ignored by you.

“Kay!” you smile, hooking your arm with his. “Letsa go!” you say like you’re fucking Mario.

The two of you walk to the kitchen, finding Trina and Holly playing a game of beer pong with two random guys.

“Hello my bitches!” Trina hollers over the thumping bass, as she scores a cup of pong, her other hand on Hollys lower back.

“Wait, gotta use the bathroom, be right back!” you slur into Jimin’s ear, he just nods distractedly as he watches the game, laughter erupting his body for probably no drunken reason.

You walk back into the living room and start heading towards the other side where the bathroom is. The journey to the bathroom is fun, you accidently bump into a lot of people but they don’t seem to mind as they will just drunkenly smile at you and you would smile back in your own drunken daze. You skim the room with a dopey smile on your face, just admiring the crowd. You are shocked with yourself…you missed people and you cannot believe it. You continue to observe when your eyes land on tattooed hands. The hands are grabbing a handful of ass on the dance floor. You know these hands. Your eyes travel from his hands to his strong arms to his face…it is hiding in the nook of some girls neck and you feel like someone knocked the wind out of you. Jungkook.

He is kissing on some girl, no doubt leaving bruises behind from his attack on her neck. His hands cupping this girls ass so tightly, he guides her hips into his. You watch as she throws her head back in pleasure and you see him smirk. All his signature moves. You are left speechless. What could you even say? Why does this hurt? Why does this make you feel fucking sick? Why does it feel like you aren’t supposed to be witnessing this? Well, you know why but god, why?!

“y/n!!” It’s Jimin, jogging up behind you, “Fuck, I was trying to avoid you seeing this…” he admit softly, “I swear I didn’t think he was going to be here tonight…he didn’t seem that interested when I asked him about it…”

“It’s fine Jimin…” you mumble.

“Does it feel weird? Seeing him with this girl…?” Jimin is obviously trying to get you to admit something right now but you are not in the right head space to even give it a second thought.

“Why should it? Plus I’m used to this…she’s just some random girl for one night.” You twirl the ends of your hair between your fingers.

“Oh babe…” Jimin glances down at the ground, “This girl…she…he’s brought her to every party for the last month…” Jimin sounds as sorry as you feel.

The same girl? That’s impossible, you scoff. There’s no way Jungkook is actually seeing someone. But that doesn’t stop your stomach from twisting and turning and making you feel fucking sick.

“What do you mean?” you finally slur out, leaning your frame on Jimin.

“He brings her and they leave together too…” Jimin holds on to you, “I haven’t really asked him about her though.”

“Whatever. Fuck him, right? I won’t let this ruin my night.” You smile coyly, draping your arms around your friend. “Bathroom please.” You pout theatrically, pointing your head towards the bathroom.

“Okay let’s get you peeing in peace.” Jimin laughs, guiding you towards the door.

Once at the door, you knock a couple times to find that it is empty, “I’ll wait for you out here.” Jimin assures you.

Once inside the small room, you bunch up your skirt and pull down your panties, squatting on the toilet. You sigh in relief as you pee, but the relief you feel in your body stops when you recall the way Jungkook held and kissed this random but not so random girl.

Why should it bother you? It’s about time Jungkook got serious! But why did he have to dump you to achieve that? And why did It have to be with someone el…

You reach for the toilet paper, ripping it after a few sheets and wipe yourself as you drunkenly sing a tune. So what? You can easily replace Jungkook too!

You stand up, pulling your panties up and your skirt down and take a long good look in the mirror. Your hair is still intact, your makeup is only a little smeared—quick fix, and your tits are still poppin’. This night is just beginning, you decide. A whole new wave of confidence begins washing over you.

“Ready!” You pounce on Jimin’s back, he stumbles forward while laughing wholeheartedly.

“Should we look for Trina and Holly again? They’re probably still playing beer pong!”

“Sure.” You smile, walking hand in hand with Jimin as you make your way back to the kitchen.

Hours pass and you are now outside on the back porch piss drunk with your 3 friends and a couple new friends. Nick and his pal that you can’t remember the name of—but you remember Nick. He’s really tall and has nice muscles covering his body, his light hair is messy and looks like you would have fun pulling it.

“And that’s why I think aliens are already here bro, like they are probably here at this fucking party bro.” No name friend finishes his point. Nick holds in his chuckle as his drunk friend rambles.

“Totally bro.” Then his eyes land on you. Fuck, were you staring? Oh well, it’s best to get to the point. You two have been making eyes at each other all night and it’s time to make the next move.

“Hey Nick, wanna grab a drink with me in the kitchen?” you inquire with a sly smile.

Jimin’s eyes widen before he’s smirking “Don’t be silly, wrap that willy.”

Trina and Holly laugh at Jimin’s words while you turn fucking red with embarrassment.

“Sorry about him…” You excuse Jimin, but you continue to smile slyly.

Nick grins with all his teeth as he takes your hand and leads you back inside the house. His hand is much larger than yours and you are already imagining what his beefy fingers will do to your vagina. God, what’s his dick like???

You enter the kitchen and you and him walk towards the cooler full of beers, he lets you stand to the side as he goes to grab them.

“Nick!!!!” you hear a familiar voice and you wince. Jungkook stands next to the cooler, his hand wrapped around the girls hand, but he briefly lets go of it to dap up your fuck for the night.

“What’s up bro!” Nick returns the handshake, a wide smile on his face.

They know each other?

“I thought you said you weren’t coming tonight?” Jungkook’s hand goes back to holding on to the girl.

“I wasn’t going to but,” he nods towards you, “Glad I did.” He winks. Jungkook’s eyes follow Nicks nod and when he sees you stand there awkwardly he goes completely pale. Your eyes meet uncomfortably, Jungkook let’s go of the girls hand without a second thought.

“y/n?” he questions with a pained expression.

“You know her?” Nick asks, totally out of the loop.

You shift from one foot to the other, not really sure what to do or say. So you settle for his name. “Jungkook.” It feels foreign on your tongue. Like if you said it 3 times in a mirror a sinister ghost would come to murder you.

Jungkook opens his mouth then closes it then opens it then closes it again.

“Baaaaabe,” the girl next to him whines, “let’s get out of here already.” She says, not even acknowledging your existence.

Jungkook shamelessly eyes you up and down, his shock is very evident as he looks at you.

You can’t help but smile a little, knowing you look damn good.

“Let’s go too, Nick.” You saunter to his side, grabbing a hold of his bicep.

That’s when Jungkook knocks out of daze, his brows crease as he looks between the two of you.

“Wait—you and Nick?” he asks, completely amused.

“Is that a problem?”

“Nope.” Jungkook looks fucking smug as he smiles, his hand going to grab the girls hand again. “See you later?” he asks you. You of all people! “Uh? Probably not?”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Jungkook winks, turning around to leave as he leads his girl out.

Nick just continues to smile, completely oblivious, “So cool that we all know each other!” he grips on to your waist.

“Wait, how do you know Jungkook?”

“We—”

“Wait, it honestly doesn’t matter. Let’s just get out of here.”

“My place?” Nick breathes into your ear, he pushes your hips into his crotch so you can feel his half hard cock.

“Why are you already getting hard?” you tease, leaning up to kiss his neck.

“Honestly, I can’t stop staring at your tits. And I am imagining all the things I want to do to them.” He confesses hotly.

The uber ride to his place is short, only 10 minutes and it goes by quickly as you two have one another’s tongues down each others throats. His hands traveling all around your body, he even manages to slip his fingers past your panties to feel how wet you are.

“Fuck I can’t wait to get you inside…” his rapid breaths fan across your face as you nibble on his neck.

“Gonna fuck me?” you whisper quietly, not trying to get heard by the Uber driver, but you could also hardly care if he hears you or not, he gets 5 stars.

“Want you to ride me.” He palms his cock through his pants as he imagines you bouncing on his cock for him.

“If you deserve it like a good boy.” You replace his hand with your own, rubbing him ferociously over his jeans. You haven’t felt dick in months and the feeling is driving you absolutely wild, you haven’t felt this needy in a long time.

The Uber comes to a stop, parking in front of an apartment building. He lets the two of you know you reached your destination. You and Nick giggle as you thank him and stumble out of the car as you follow him to his apartment. He would stop every few seconds to plant kisses on your lips and grab your ass with a tight squeeze. He groans and rolls his eyes back as he explores your body.

“Wait til we’re inside,” you breathe out, your voice silky as hell.

Finally, after a short, kiss filled elevator ride later you arrive at his front door. His lips never leaving yours as he pulls out his keys, fumbling with them until he finds the right one.

He pulls away for a second to unlock the door and desperately pushes it open to let the two of you inside. Your lips are already back on his as you two trip into the entry way of the apartment, you walk him backwards, until his back is against a wall.

The apartment is dark besides the living room TV, you take a second to pull back and admire Nick’s fucked out expression, the blue glow of the TV making everything feel surreal.

You dive back in to kiss him, he prods his tongue into your mouth, swirling it around with yours making you moan into his mouth.

“Hi guys!”

Your eyes shoot open, mouth still attached to Nicks. You push your head back, disconnecting from Nick and yank your head to the left where you see a wild Jungkook sitting on the living room sofa, his mouth full of the cereal he is eating. He is wearing the most shit eating grin you have ever seen on him.

“Jungkook?! What the fuck?” You spit out, totally fucking shocked. Like, obviously.

“Hey man…” Nick breathes out heavily, trying to speak properly, “I thought you would be at Vanessa’s tonight?”

“Nah,” Jungkook smiles, “Dropped her off and came home.”

HOME?

“H-Home?” You look between the two guys, what the fuck does he mean by that. This is Nicks place, right?

“Oh you didn’t know?” Jungkook nods his head toward Nick, “Nick here is my beloved roommate.”

“What the fuck…” you mutter under your breath, trying to understand the mother fucking situation. Were you about to fuck Jungkook’s roommate? Are you still going to is the real question?

“Wait, how do you two even know each other?” Nick starts to look antsy, “Don’t tell me she’s one of the girls you’ve fucked…come on bro, leave some for the rest of us.” He chuckles somewhat bitterly.

“No!” you’re quick to say. You begin smoothing out your skirt, then your hair. “We just…”

“y/n is my bestie!” Jungkook grins, putting the cereal down and standing up. He walks forward until he is making a triangle with you and Nick.

“Was.” You spit out harshly, crossing your arms across your chest. Nick just stands there confused as hell, looking between the two of you.

“Anyway, I should get going.” You turn your body to Nick, a look of apology on your face.

“What? We can just go to my room?” he slurs, tugging on his pants uncomfortably, his boner still apparent.

“Sorry, no longer in the mood.”

You pull out your phone to order an Uber when Jungkook takes your phone from you.

“I’m not drunk, I can drive you.” He offers. You push your head back in disbelief, how does Jungkook have the AUDACITY to offer that to you?

“Why the fuck would I want that?”

“So we can…” His eyes slide over to the ever growing confused Nick, “Talk.”

You haven’t spoken to Jungkook in 3 months and today is finally the day you are able to breathe a little easier and he just has to barge back in.

“Like I said,” You snatch your phone back from him, “Why the fuck would I want that?”

Nick shifts around uncomfortably, his eyes darting from you to Jungkook.

“Well, I am gonna head to my room…uh, bye y/n…it was nice meeting you…I guess…”

You and Jungkook both turn your heads toward Nick at the same time, eyes shooting daggers at him.

“Yeah, bye.” Jungkook dismisses his roommate, his jaw clenching.

“Nice to meet you too…”

Nick walks backward until his back meets his bedroom room, he looks at the two of you one last time before turning around to disappear into his room.

“I said, let me drive you home.”

“And I said, why the fuck would I want that?”

“y/n don’t choose now to be difficult.” Jungkook takes a step closer to you, his hands running through his dark, messy hair. His eyes shut in frustration, “I just want to talk to you.”

“And I don’t want to talk to you.” You take a step back, “Plus, how would your girlfriend feel if you took me home?”

Jungkook’s eyes narrow, his mouth setting in a firm line.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Could of fooled me and like, everyone else.” You scoff.

Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip, not knowing what to say. While she’s not his girlfriend she’s also not not his girlfriend. It’s complicated.

“Can I please, just please, can I take you home?”

“No, Jungkook. The fucking audacity,” you scoff again, “You haven’t spoken to me in 3 months,” your voice fucking cracks and you feel like dying. “Don’t start now.”

“y/n…” he runs another frustrated hand down his tired face, “I didn’t mean for it to go this long…” “I don’t fucking care, Jungkook.”

You feel your chest begin to burn, and your eyes begin to gloss over but you won’t cry. You won’t give him the satisfaction.

“I want nothing to do with you.”

You stare at the phone in your hands as you begin ordering your Uber when he yanks it from your hands once again, he hides the phone in his back pocket and you snarl.

“What the hell Jeon?”

“I said I am driving you home so we can talk so that’s what we are gonna fucking do, okay?” he grabs your hand and begins walking you towards the front door. There’s something about Jungkook...you decide to listen. You watch silently as he puts on his shoes and grabs his wallet and keys.

“Okay…” you finally answer, your voice timid.

He said you guys are going to talk but the car ride has been mostly silent save the low radio playing in the background. Maybe it’s better this way, you think. You aren’t sober, that’s for sure but you also don’t think you are drunk enough to handle this properly. You decide maybe that’s also for the best.

“You sir, are a fucking asshole.” You speak up, your fingers playing with the zipper of your purse. The car smells like it always does, his fresh laundry car freshener and you get sucked into a million memories linked with this scent.

“I know.” Jungkook eyes you from the driver seat, you shiver from the running AC and so he turns it down, “There’s a blanket in the back if you want to grab it.”

“No thanks, don’t know where that’s been.”

“It’s clean, I promise.”

Your eyes go wide as you recall his last promise to you…”Just a few days. I promise.”

“Yeah, I don’t actually believe in your promises anymore.” You continue to pick at the zipper of your purse, your eyes never leaving the zig and zag of the material.

“I needed space y/n, fucking sue me.” He groans out, his fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“Oh I wish I could.” You snap back.

You feel your chest burn and tighten again, your eyes slightly watering. You have to force them shut to keep from any tears growing.

“I called and texted you every day.” You whisper, his grip getting tighter on the steering wheel.

“I gave you a few days Jungkook. But I never heard from you until 11 at night one night telling me you are fucking moving out.”

“I know, that was…fucked up, I admit. But I had to do what I had to do and I just wish you would let me explain that—”

“No.” you cut him off, “You don’t deserve to explain anything.”

“You mean so much to me y/n…”

“Don’t.”

Jungkook pulls over on the side of the road, turning off the ignition.

“What are you doing?” you sputter out.

He clicks his seatbelt off his body and turns to face you, “Getting comfortable.”

“Why?”

“Will you look at me?” Jungkook tilts his head towards you, “Will you please look at me?”

“No.” you stay facing forward, your hands folded in your lap.

“y/n…please.” His voice sounds strained and you almost feel bad. Almost, but not quite.

You don’t need this…you don’t need him. Ouch, you feel pain in your chest as you think that…oh, the lies you tell yourself.

“Say what you need to say Jungkook, so you can take me home.” Your face stays neutral.

Jungkook sighs out, feeling almost defeated, but not quite.

“I…I am so sorry.” He finally says.

“About what?”

“Everything y/n.” his voice cracks and somehow you feel satisfied.

“You’ll have to be more specific if you ever want my acceptance”

“I know…the first thing I am sorry for is not telling you about Taehyung. That was…that was wrong of me—”

“No shit, but go on.” Your voice stays steady as you speak.

“I was worried about other shit, I was selfish and it’s taking me a long time to forgive myself…but I’ve thought a lot about it these last few months and—and…”

“Oh? You’re worried about you forgiving yourself? Shouldn’t you be a little more concerned about I don’t know, me?”

Jungkook frowns at your words, because well, you’re right. And he’s getting to that part but you keep interrupting him. But he lets you.

“Yes. I am most worried about you, of course.” He breathes out. “You have no idea what these 3 months without you have felt like…”

“Really Jungkook? If anyone knows its fucking me. I went 3 months without you too. You left me!” you start to lose your composure as you speak, your hands gripping on to your poor purse. “When I was going through a really hard time you straight up left me.” You whisper.

“Please believe me…I had my reasons. It was truly for the best y/n.”

“For the best?” you scoff. “You’re such an asshole.”

Jungkook winces at your words, he knows you mean them and that hurts him even more.

“Can you just trust me?” Jungkook blurts out.

Huh? You shake your head, disappointed he would say something so …well, ridiculous.

“Just stop, Jungkook.” You hesitantly roll your eyes, still shaking your head.

Jungkook licks his lips over and over, trying to figure out his next words.

“I really really,” he begins to lose it, his eyes darting all around the car. “just need you to trust me.” He blinks repeatedly, his eyes not focusing on anything in particular.

You, of course, do not believe your ears. Trust him? How could you possibly trust him?

“I just really…I really had my reasons y/n. And I’m sorry, but I just need you to just trust me, that I had my reasons and that I do care about you.” His voice is shaky and you’re uncertain how to take this information.

“I’m confused…” you begin, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “You want me to trust you? Even after you left me? Even after I ‘threw myself’ at you?!”

“You weren’t in the right head space y/n…you were vulnerable and…and you didn’t actually want me. You just were feeling used and rejected and needed something to make you feel wanted. To feel better. You wanted to use me for that and I couldn’t let you. But how much could I handle? You liked one of my friends, dated him…sort of, even slept with him and I had to be your shoulder to cry on when,” his breathing picks up heavily as he tries to speak, “it doesn’t matter.” He grits out.

You sit there…speechless. He wasn’t wrong, was he? You were feeling lost and rejected and used and you just wanted something or someone to feel better and who better than your best friend? But it’s also his fault you needed things to work out with Taehyung in the first place!

“Jungkook—”

“I’m not done.” He breathes out, his hot breath reaching your skin.

“I needed some space to think. But I realized I couldn’t properly think things through if I saw you every day, so yeah, I moved out. I’m sorry…” He runs a hand through his hair, a light chuckle makes it way past his lips “Then I met Vanessa.”

“I don’t want to talk about your little girlfriend.” You turn to face forward in your seat, your eyes glancing at the stop sign ahead.

“I told you, she’s not my girlfriend. But it is complicated.”

You continue to look straight ahead, your heart racing in your chest. The subject of “Vanessa” making you feel anxious.

“Complicated how?” you gulp.

“Don’t worry about it.” He laughs to himself, you turn your head to look at him.

“Are you serious, Jungkook?”

“We fuck y/n.”

“But it’s more than that right?”

“Yeah…” Jungkook bites down on his lip.

You look at him bewildered.

“Do you like her? Love her?”

You grip your purse in your lap, waiting for his answer. How would you feel if he answers yes? Are you brave enough to endure that answer? And if he says no? should you be happy? Should you feel relieved?

“No.” he closes his eyes, he folds his hands in front of him. “It’s complicated.”

You sign in relief—oh. Relief is the emotion you are feeling. Why? Why should it matter?

“Why are you telling me all of this?” you whisper.

“I want to be friends again, y/n.” he says softly, his eyes searching yours.

This is madness, how the hell could you save this friendship? Your face scrunches up and the first couple of tears slide down your cheeks, you shake your head as they continue to fall.

“You don’t know how this makes me feel…” you cry out. “I don’t even know how it makes me feel.”

You miss him, so fucking much and he’s right here offering himself to you. But you ‘re so hurt.

“y/n…I know I hurt you. But you gotta believe me when I say it is the hardest thing I have had to do…you understand that right? I had to do it…you understand right?” he begs.

“You were so quick to abandon me, Jungkook.” You drop your head into your hands, the tears uncontrollable now.

“I…” Jungkook begins to panic, his own eyes glossing over. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. Please y/n…I can make it up to you.”

“Things would never be the same, you get that right?” you bawl into your lap, your words coming out broken.

“Please baby, I just need you in my life again…” Jungkook admits, his own words choppy. He reaches his hand to touch you, to his surprise you don’t flinch. His hand cups the back of your head and he begins to massage it softly.

“I have missed you so much and nothing I mean nothing can replace you.” He hesitates to continue, “trust me…I have tried.”

You sob into your hands harder, the weight of his words crushing you.

“I’m sorry Jungkook but I…I don’t believe you.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen as he absorbs your words, his mouth falls open in shock. Don’t believe him?

“What—what do you mean? What are you saying?” his panic filled voice makes your stomach churn.

“I reject your offer. Now please take me home.” You lift your head and stare straight ahead. “I’m serious.”

Jungkook face twists into a bewildered expression, he doesn’t believe his ears. You…reject him?

“Wait—”

“I said take me home now.” This time you snap your face in his direction, the cold look in your eyes piercing his very soul.

“Okay.”

Hopeless: the dictionary describes it as without hope ; despairing. But in reality, it’s just a picture of Jungkook’s poor, poor face.

Jungkook parks in his designated spot in the lot of his apartment complex, he reverses in because why the hell not. So extra. His drive home was silent… not even the radio on a low volume keeping him company, just complete silence. He turns the car off but doesn’t make a move to get out, he just continues to sit here in his car and sigh out dramatically every 5 seconds.

He’s so confused and lost on what to do. He bangs his head against the steering wheel a few times just for the hell of it, he just…he didn’t think you would reject him. But honestly? Can he blame you? All he’s done lately is be selfish and mess up over and over again. But he wishes you could just trust him but he also wishes he could just tell you the truth. Maybe then you could understand his position and you wouldn’t be mad at him anymore. But he has to wait.

Jungkook’s head is still banging against the steering wheel when more thoughts of you bombard his mind. His breathing picks up and he starts to sniffle, he doesn’t want to cry but you just…you don’t want anything to do with him. He balls his hands into fists and hit the steering wheel over and over causing the horn to go off a few times but he doesn’t care he’s so upset, he just….

When Jungkook saw you tonight for the first time in 3 months he swears his heart actually stopped. He swears it raced so quickly that it just stopped. He let go of Vanessa’s hand so quickly because he wanted to rush to you and hug you close, he wanted to just feel you. Not having touched your skin for the last 3 months…he doesn’t want to imagine even another day.

A few tears slip past his closed lids, he chuckles darkly as he recalls you and Nick. He thought, wow, the universe is cruel and also hilarious. His fucking roommate? He shakes his head, laughing again but his lips remain downward. He feels so fucking helpless right now. But he deserves this, he deserves to feel this pain. He did this to himself and he’s fully aware of that.

Jungkook thinks of your face, he thinks of your smile, he thinks of your eyes and he cries harder, his tears landing on the steering wheel and sliding down landing on to his lap. Yes, he feels like all hope is lost but he knows he cannot give up. He will win you over again one day. He lifts his head and wipes his tear streaked cheeks with the back of his hand and breathes out steadily.

“y/n…” he whispers to himself. Your name leaves his mouth in frustration. He won’t give up. He can’t.

~~~~

“And they were roommates?!” Jimin shouts, a banana half sticking out of his mouth, Trina gasps and whispers “Oh my god they were roommates.”

“Yeah, it was a total shit show.” You bang your head against your breakfast table. Holly rubs your back as she sits next to you.

“Then what happened?” she pries further.

“Yeah what the hell happened y/n!” Jimin yells out.

“He asked to be friends again…and I totally rejected him. Maybe I was too harsh? He was so sad guys…it makes me think…I might agree to kind of being…friends?”

Jimin shuts his eyes as a frown decorates his face, he places a hand on his hip and he inhales a sharp breath, “Listen…you’re both my friends and of course I want you to be good again…but he hurt you …bad.”

“I know Jiminie, but his reasons…” you bite your lip, “Never mind.”

“Well, I don’t like it.” Trina butts in. “He fucking left you, remember?”

“Yes Trina, I fucking remember—”

“Then fucking act like it!”

“Trina relax,” Holly intervenes. “They have a long history, right? It’s hard to just forget about everything…”

Jimin stands from his chair, hands on both hips. “Fine, if we are doing this…then you better actually try. Don’t half ass shit, if you’re going to be friends then don’t be an asshole to him, don’t make snarky remarks…I know your ass.”

Jimin has a good point, you haven’t actually thought about how you will act.

“I’ll be a good girl.” You raise your right arm to salute him.

“Fucking smart ass.” He rolls his eyes.

“Are we serious right now?” Trina shakes her head, “You moped around for 3 fucking months y/n. You cried every time you even thought of Jungkook…which was a fucking lot.” She points out, “Listen, you stayed strong when you talked to him in the car. Don’t break just because you feel bad for the dude because he’s fucking pitiful. He doesn’t deserve your pity girl. He’s an asshole!”

“Trina, be nice.” Holly says sternly, reaching forward to grab on to Trina’s hand. Trina visibly relaxes and nods her head towards Holly and smiles softly.

You and Jimin share a look. Are they….?

“You…” You slam your eyes shut, Trina’s words ringing loudly in your ears. You know she’s right. “I’ll think about it some more. For now, I gotta get ready for work.”

~~~~

“Doesn’t Hazel look so pretty here?” Adam shoves his phone in your face as he gushes about his girlfriend.

“Yes dude, she’s so pretty.” You deadpan. “Now can you please put the brownies in the oven? We’re low.”

“Wait wait…here’s one of us together at the park.” He nudges his phone in your hands, you roll your eyes but you take it.

The two of them are sitting on a park bench, she’s leaning into his frame and they both have wide smiles on their faces. They seem so in love. And you know they are because fucking Adam reminds you every 20 seconds.

“Their love makes me sick.” Jade walks over, her hands patting down on her work apron, her tone is bland but she still tries to smile. “Like, we get it.”

“Who loves who more?” you begin with a toothy grin, “Adam to Hazel or Lenny to the sugar cookies?” you laugh while pointing at said Lenny stuffing his face with the reject cookies. Jade and Adam chuckle while they stare at him.

“Hey guys, really?” Lenny says with his mouth full. “You know I feel bad when we throw them away.” He pouts, crumbs decorating his lips.

“Lenny I catch you eating fresh ones all the time!” Adam points out.

“Sometimes they’re a little ugly…” Lenny reasons, “So I…”

“You don’t have to explain my guy, you just really love your cookies.” You hand Adam back his phone as you head towards the walk in freezer to take out the brownies yourself. You load up a tray and stick those suckers in the oven.

“You’re useless Adam.” Jade sticks a piece of gum in her mouth and chews obnoxiously “U-s-e-l-e-s-s. Useless.”

“You’re always so mean to me Jade what did I ever do to you?”

All 4 of you shoot your heads up when you hear the bell go off on the door of the bakery, its loud chime signaling the arrival of a customer.

“Oh.” Jade says while popping a bubble. “It’s your usual customer y/n.”

You tilt your head towards the front of the store to get a look at who she is talking about, and yup its him. Your most consistent customer who orders the same damn thing every single day. 2 oatmeal raisin cookies and that’s it.

“Can someone else just take care of him today?” you whine, “I’m not in the mood to argue.”

“You know he’s just going to ask for you…” Lenny says stuffing his face with another cookie.

“God damn it.” You huff out, you grab two gloves from the box on the counter and begin walking towards the front of the store.

You reach the front counter and take in your enemy—you mean, your customer.

“And what do I owe the pleasure Mister Oatmeal Raisin?” you raise a brow towards the man. He’s only a few inches taller than you, his hair is a sandy color today and you hate to admit it looks good on him.

“You know you could just call me by name.” the man sways side to side with a smirk on his face.

“I like Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”

He has been coming to this store for the last couple of months and you two…don’t necessarily get along swimmingly. He complains a lot and is a total smart ass. And you? Well, you’re not much better.

“Well, I’ll have my usual.” He smiles, “And you know the drill, please make sure there is a normal amount of raisins and not a million, I don’t want 8 raisins a bite. But one every now and then.”

You roll your eyes extremely dramatically, pressing the buttons on the screen for his order.

“Sir yes sir.” You salute towards him, “How could I not know the drill?”

“That’s the spirit.”

You spin on your heels and head towards the back to heat up his two cookies. You carefully select one cookie with barely any raisins and one cookie with a million, just like he didn’t want. You cackle to yourself as you place them in the baggy, feeling beyond satisfied.

“How haven’t you gotten fired?” Adam crosses his arms over his chest as he watches you, “And how hasn’t he complained about you? You do this every time I don’t get it.”

“He likes her.” Jade says plainly while scrolling through her phone.

“As fucking if!” you scoff, “He wants nothing but to annoy me!” But you can’t help but smile.

“He literally only asks for you every time you’re in.” Lenny reasons, “but you shouldn’t like him back…he likes the worst cookie on the menu. Sugar is where it’s at.”

You laugh at your coworker while walking back up towards the front of the store, reaching the counter.

“Your cookies!” you hand him the baggy with an evil smirk, “I hope you enjoy them.” You wink.

The man opens the baggy and inspects each cookie and with his own evil smirk he winks back at you, “Are we serious right now?” his sly smile doesn’t leave his face as he begins to complain, “You are such a brat.”

“$4 Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”

He hands you the cash, you put it away quickly and with a wide smile you gesture towards the door for him to leave.

“Min Yoongi.” He shakes the bag of cookies in front of him, “Not Mister Oatmeal Raisin.” He turns around and starts walking towards the door but before he exits he tilts his head to look at you one last time, “See you tomorrow…y/n.”

You feel a harsh blush creep up on your cheeks, or your whole face actually. Maybe your whole body. You feel taken aback he knows your name but then you remember you have a god damn name tag.

“Uh…yeah.”

“See you tomorrow…y/n.” all 3 of your coworkers mock in a deep voice.

“Shut up guys!” you whine into your hands, “Can we please just get back to work!”

~~~~~

A few weeks later

The drive to Jimin’s is a quick 7 minutes but you did take a little detour. You decided to stop at the pizzeria that’s on the way and grab a hot pizza for the two of you.

“Hehe.” You look over to the steamy food sitting in the passenger seat.

Jimin has been such a great friend to you all this time and you feel like you’ve never really thanked him…so, tonight you two are going to have a fun night in—he just doesn’t know it yet.

Who doesn’t love being surprised with food?

You pull up to Jimin’s apartment complex and after driving in circles you finally find a parking spot. You grab your purse, your backpack, and the pizza and make your way up to his apartment.

You knock on his front door a few times but get no answer. Maybe he’s not home? No, you definitely hear music coming from the other side…so, you decide to call him.

“Hello?”

“Jimin~ let me in!” you sing into the phone.

“You’re—you’re here?”

“Let me in already!” and with that you hang up and wait patiently outside the door.

A few moments pass before the door is opening up, when Jimin really registers that it’s you he’s kind of closing the door until only his face is shown through the crack.

“Ummm…yes?”

You quirk a brow at the boy, “What do you mean ‘yes?’ let me in!” you begin walking forward when a panicked Jimin opens the door wider to let himself outside and shut the door behind him.

“y/n…why are you here? Did we have plans tonight?” he looks down at the pizza in your hands.

“Not exactly…” you admit, “But I figured we could have a night in.”

Jimin frowns. Fucking frowns!

“Or not?” you say awkwardly.

You hear some sort of banging on the other side of the door and then it clicks.

“Oh? You have someone over?” you smirk.

“Uhhh…no. Nothing like that.” Jimin’s eyes slide to the side as he tries to think of what to say next.

“Babe—”

“Jimin!”

The door is being swung wide open and your eyes travel from some horrendous toes socks to some tight jeans to a striped t shirt to yes, Jungkook’s surprised face.

“Oh.” You both say at the same time.

You and Jungkook stare at one another for a few moments, neither of your eyes leaving the other when Jimin clears his throat.

“Sorry y/n. Jungkook is already over…” he gives you an apologetic smile.

“Is it just you two?” you ask quietly.

“Huh? Uh, yeah.”

You glance down at the pizza and think to yourself. You and Jungkook may not be friends but you can be civil? Yeah, totally! You can definitely be civil! You already bought this fucking pizza so you and Jimin are going to eat it! And you guess, Jungkook too.

“Okay, let me in.” you start shoving your way past Jimin, you watch as his and Jungkook’s eyes go wide.

“Maybe you didn’t hear him, but I am already hanging out with him?” Jungkook sputters out. He awkwardly moves to the side anyway to let you through.

“I can be civil with you Jungkook. Plus, I don’t want this pizza to go to waste. So let’s eat.” You walk through, nudging the pizza box into Jungkook’s hands, he takes it while looking at Jimin with shocked eyes.

Jimin just shrugs and follows you inside.

“Yeah, let’s eat.” He says nonchalantly.

Jungkook is left at the door with the pizza in his hands as he is left completely dumbfounded. He is malfunctioning.

“Jungkook?” you call out over your shoulder, “Hurry up, I’m hungry!”

“Yeah, Jungkook hurry up!” Jimin smirks, he isn’t totally sure what’s going on but he kind of likes it.

“So what were you guys doing before I got here?” you shove an entire slice of pizza down your throat, the sauce getting left behind on your lips.

“I was teaching Jungkook some of my dance moves…we made a bet that he couldn’t learn the entire routine in 3 times…and—”

“Let me guess, he fucking learned it.” You laugh.

Jimin groans, his head thrown back as he begins nodding his head ‘yes.’

“So annoying! What can’t he do!” Jimin throws the pizza crust in the box and Jungkook immediately picks it up and eats it.

“Pshh, I could name a few things.” You point out bitterly. “But we won’t get into that.”

“Yeah, please don’t.” Jimin pleads.

“I’m curious…what is it you think I cant do?” Jungkook quirks a brow at you and your eyes darken in his direction.

“You really want me to?” you take a napkin and wipe your lips, “It’s nothing nice.” You admit.

“Oh then yes, please don’t.” Jungkook is quick to say.

“Yes, please don’t.” Jimin begs again.

The 3 of you are sitting on the living room floor, maybe only 30 minutes or so has passed by and it’s not too awkward. But it’s not necessarily comfortable either. Jimin looks between you and Jungkook constantly, waiting for someone to crack but neither of you really speak to each other. Both of you really only communicating with Jimin.

“So Jimin, are you going to show me another routine?”

“Why? So you can prove you’re the master of everything again? No thanks.”

“Jimin, maybe you can show me a few steps?”

Jimin smiles awkwardly while Jungkook is quick to burst out laughing. You snap your head towards Jungkook and raise your brows at him.

“Why is Jungkook laughing, Jimin?”

“Umm…” Jimin smiles softly, “You aren’t the most…”

Jungkook laughs harder as he watches Jimin trying to explain.

“Aren’t the most…?” You tilt your head towards the boy.

“C’mon y/n don’t make me say it…” Jimin drags out his words in a whine, he plays with his fingers, looking around the room awkwardly.

“Just say it Jimin.” Jungkook chuckles out.

“If you’re trying to say I’m a bad dancer, we all know that’s not true!” you defend once you catch on, you pout at the boys.

“Well…”

“You have both told me I am a good dancer!”

“Well, you know how to move. But steps…following a routine…that’s different. You aren’t very coordinated.” Jimin finally admits, a sheepish grin on his face.

“He means you can roll your hips but your feet are clumsy as fuck.” Jungkook says, still laughing at the situation.

“Shut up.” You glare at Jungkook.

“No, he’s right.” Jimin begins laughing as well, he looks at you and smiles. Well, if Jimin is saying it…maybe it might be true. It’s not like you didn’t kind of know. But still!

“Fine, whatever. Don’t teach me then.”

Suddenly, Jimin’s phone is going off and he rushes to the kitchen to answer it. You and Jungkook eat your pizza in silence, awkwardly catching one another’s gaze.

“So—”

“Don’t talk to me.” You cut in. Jimin isn’t here so it’s not like you have to be totally social with Jungkook.

“Oh.” Jungkook dramatically slumps his shoulders and pouts. You watch him as he throws a silent fit like the baby he is. “Okay.”

Jimin walks back into the living room looking annoyed, he stands between you two and throws a hand on his hip.

“I have to go down to the front office, there was a mix up in packages…I shouldn’t take too long…” he bites down on his plump bottom lip, “Please be civil while I’m gone. Jungkook…” he looks at the boy then at you, “y/n…” he warns.

“Sir yes sir!” you salute towards your friend with a straight face.

Jimin only narrows his eyes as he looks between you two.

“I’m serious…” he says.

Then he is putting on some shoes and heading out the front door, the soft click making you shudder. You’re alone with Jungkook.

A few minutes pass and you both awkwardly just sit there, sometimes catching the other looking. You finally huff out and accidentally giggle.

“What’s funny?” Jungkook’s curiosity getting the best of him.

“It’s just…I feel like we’re Jimin’s divorced parents and we’re trying to be civil for our child.”

Jungkook stares at you with scrunched brows, then looks away while a chuckle escapes his lips.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

You only nod your head in response. You two go back to the awkward silence.

You aren’t used to this…this awkward and odd silence that lingers between you two. It feels so fucking suffocating you almost wish you were on total talking terms so you didn’t have to endure this shit show.

“You know I could…no, forget it.” Jungkook bites his nails as he speaks, “I…”

“What?” you don’t mean to snap at him, but somehow even talking with an attitude feels better than not talking at all.

“I was going to say…I could teach you some steps…then you could surprise Jimin. He’s been working on a salsa piece…I can teach you some? Then maybe he will stop talking shit on your dancing.” Jungkook laughs awkwardly.

“Wait—he talks shit?!” somehow this doesn’t surprise you in the least.

“Only a little.” Jungkook shows you how little with his pointer finger and thumb. “But uh, want me to show you?”

“I don’t even want to talk to you, you think I want to dance with you?” you raise a brow in amusement. You forget this boy has all the audacity.

“Dancing doesn’t have to have any talking.” Jungkook states with a sly smile.

“So you’re just going to show me the steps?”

“Precisely.”

You don’t know why, but this sounds better than actually speaking and/or just sitting in miserable silence. And maybe, just maybe you have a desire to be close to him.

“You think I could learn in time before Jimin gets back?”

“With me as your teacher? Definitely.” He fucking smirks at you and you can’t help but feel that feeling in your stomach. Not necessarily a bad feeling but a fucking feeling.

Jungkook stands to his feet and extends his hand out to you for you to take.

“Here, stand up.”

Your eyes travel from his hands to his eyes and you blink lazily at him…wait, you’re really doing this? He stares down at you and he smiles softly and it creates a warmth in your chest that you’re trying so hard to ignore. You can’t.

Even so, you hesitantly begin to reach up to grab on to his hand, once your skin touches his you feel it. The burning. You should be used to it but right now, the fire is raging and the heat is almost too much. But you let him close his hand over yours as he helps you up.

You’re now standing in front of one another, in complete silence again. But this time it’s not awkward—no, it’s a different type of tension. Your hand lingers in his, neither of you brave enough to let go of the other. Jungkook looks down at you and you up at him, and you feel a million things. But the number one thing you feel is pain. You slowly pull your hand back and break eye contact with him, your head dropping low.

“Show me already.” You whisper.

“Shh, no talking.” Jungkook quietly demands. “Only speak with your body.” He puts some music on the speakers and smirks at you.

Jungkook steps closer to you and you stay grounded in your spot, you can feel the heat of his body begin to radiate and warm you. One of his hands find yours, he weaves his fingers through your own and puts one hand on your hip, he looks down at you to warn you this is how he will guide you.

“Just follow me.”

“You said no talking Mr.Jeon.” you say almost under your breath as you stare into his eyes. Jungkook rolls his head back with a smirk on his face, he looks at you and nods.

He puts his left foot forward and steps with his right foot in the same place at center, then puts his left foot back again. You try to copy his moves but even with such simple steps you step on his feet. He looks up at you disapprovingly. You only smile at him.

You two continue to try these steps until you finally manage to understand them even just a little bit. Jungkook brings your body closer to his as you two move your hips to the music while following the simple steps. His chest flush against your own, his heart beating so loudly you can feel it. Your heart isn’t any better. You start to finally get the hang of it, the music slowly taking you to another place. Jungkook moves his hips to the beat so flawlessly and honestly? You’re doing pretty fucking good if you do say so yourself.

Jungkook’s grip on your hip tightens as he grinds himself closer to you, you feel lightheaded as you two dance to the song. Your breathing getting just a little heavier and you feel lost and pathetic but you’re too immersed in the dance to care. Jungkook finds his head falling into the crook of your neck, his hot breaths fanning against your sensitive skin and you find your hand skimming up his back until you have a handful of his hair. You lightly tug on his locks and Jungkook quietly groans. You don’t know if you’re even doing the right steps anymore, your feet moving all around the place, but somehow it’s working. You’re still following his lead and you’re sure the dance looks somewhat okay. All you care about is how both of your hips move to the beat of the music and into each other. You two are so in sync its driving you nuts.

Jungkook lifts his head and watches as you close your eyes and he closes his own eyes, his head falling forward, your foreheads close to touching. You feel so dizzy, so light and airy, so fucking great like you’re floating. You can’t help but feel the heat creep up your entire body, you feel sweat start to build as you two move. You tighten your hands around Jungkook’s neck and pull him down impossibly close, until his forehead is touching yours. Your harsh breaths mingling with his. You get dragged into the memory of when he had you pinned to his dorms mattress, you recall how his lips left kisses all along your throat, his hot breath reminding you of the past. You think of how he rolled his hips into you effortlessly then as well, you think of how you scraped your nails down his back as he thrusted into you. God, you need to think of something else but Jungkook is filling your mind.

Jungkook’s breathing picks up again, as does yours. Your memories making this dance that much more sensual. You remember the way Jungkook nibbled on your ear as he let filthy words spill from his mouth when he fucked you. God, you should not be thinking this but his body feels so good. God, you should think of anything…literally anything else. You remember how he held you close much like how he is right now. You two continue dancing to the song that is soon coming to an end. You know exactly how it feels to have Jungkook inside you, moving and stilling. You know exactly what it feels like to come all around his cock. God, you need to stop. You need to slow your breathing. God, you…you…you...he continues to guide you along to the music when you feel something hard poke against you. Oh. Oh. OH. Hard. He’s hard.

Immediately, you pull back and take several clumsy steps backward. You blink at him with wide eyes when you realize that maybe he was recalling the same memories as you. Your wide eyes concerning Jungkook.

“Okay, that’s enough lessons for today.” Your harsh breaths don’t go unnoticed by Jungkook, his own breathing quite unsteady.

“Right.” Jungkook mumbles.

You two stand around for a few moments, just taking in the experience you just shared.

You still feel…how do you feel? You just shared a hot dance with your best friend? Wait—ex best friend? You don’t know. The memory of his body moving with yours, his skin touching your skin, his breaths on your neck, his hair balled up in your hands. God, it felt so good.

But so wrong.

“Umm…thanks.” You finally say.

Jungkook perks up at the gratitude, even if it’s somewhat forced. His frown turns into a small smile and you can’t help but smile back.

“I miss you y/n.” Jungkook instantly regrets it by the look on your face. Your expression turning hard. “Sorry I—”

“No, I miss you too.” You answer honestly. “But this doesn’t change anything.”

“But why not? Do you really not want me in your life for like, ever?”

Jungkook’s questions settle deep within you. The depth they hold…it’s too much. You wonder? Is this anti-Jungkook thing permanent? Or are you just trying to teach him a lesson?

Jungkook rubs his temples as he thinks, he sighs out instead of talking more.

“Not forever.” You finally say. Jungkook looks at you, a sliver of hope flashes across his face.

“But when?” he asks softly.

Yeah y/n. When? You know you both can’t go back to how things use to be but maybe starting over? God, you don’t know what to do! You know someone like Trina will be disappointed you became friends with Jungkook again so quickly, but you know someone like Jimin would be happy his two friends are back to being on okay terms. Why are you trying to please everybody? What do you want?

“Will you ever give up?” you say a little more lightly.

“No…” he says under his breath, his eyes focusing on the TV. “Not until you agree to be my friend again.”

You look at Jungkook with disbelief written all over your face, this boy has the fucking audacity once again. You’re amused though.

“Excuse me?” you say, cleaning your ear out with your point finger. “I didn’t catch that.”

Jungkook looks into your eyes, his eyes are large and doe like and it brings you back to every moment ever that he has given you this look.

“You’re stuck with me until you love me again.” He says more firmly.

“Who said,” you look at him with soft eyes, “That I ever stopped loving you?”

Jungkook smiles, he fucking smiles. His adorable bunny smile that makes your heart race.

“You still love me?”

“Only a little.” You jut your lip out, “I mostly hate you.”

Jungkook only frowns for a second before he is smiling again, “That’s fair.”

The two of you stand in comfortable silence for a few minutes, you sway back and forth wondering what you want to say to him—you miss him, of course but…

“Let’s take it slow.” You finally break the silence. You miss him more than anything and it might be worth it to have him in your life again, “You aren’t going to be a priority in my life anymore.” You crack you knuckles, the sound filling up the room.

“I know,” Jungkook feels his heart twist at your words but at least it’s something. “We can go however slow you want y/n.”

“You are on—”

“Thin fucking ice, buddy. I know.”

You exhale a shaky breath, thinking about how to go about this, “We can text every now and then, I’m not sure I want to hang out with you quite yet.”

“Okay.”

“Maybe a group hang out first…”

“I’d like that.”

Jungkook reaches over to grab your hand but you pull back, “That’s a no from me for the affection.”

Hurt flashes across Jungkook’s features but he softens up as he nods his head. “Noted.”

You wonder if you’re making the right decision. This wasn’t easy, you know? This actually felt quite hard. But somehow you feel like some weight has been lifted off your shoulders, like things maybe just maybe will be okay.

“I won’t push myself on you, I promise.” Jungkook sits back down on the floor, crossing his legs.

“Just be yourself, Jungkook.”

“If I wanted to be myself I would be hugging you right now but that’s apparently off limits.” He jokes.

“One hug.” You open your arms timidly. You feel one hug can’t be too bad?

Jungkook widens his eyes in pleasant surprise. He stands to his feet again and opens his own arms.

“C’mere.”

You watch in disbelief as he grins with his arms wide open, expecting you to go to him! And you do. You fucking do.

His arms wrap around you, he pushes you into his chest and you feel so fucking good. So warm, so cozy. His scent making you feel dizzy again, his warmth causing you to heat up. You lean back and look at his content face, he honestly looks so fucking content. Like, this hug is everything to him. And maybe it is, but you don’t know that.

“Uh, am I interrupting something?” you both snap your heads toward the front door to see Jimin standing there with a package in his hands.

“I can come back later?” he smirks at you two.

“No no no no!” you drop your arms from hugging Jungkook and take a few steps back, “We were just—”

“We made up, Jimin.” Jungkook says calmly with the softest smile you’ve ever seen on him.

“We’re taking it slow!” you rush to say.

“Oh?” Jimin winks, he walks forward until he’s in the living room joining you two. “Does this mean you will be joining us this Thursday at Jungkook and Nick’s place?”

“Huh?”

Jungkook shifts on his feet, “Yeah, uh, me and Nick are having a small get together on Thursday…you can bring whoever you want…but you’re definitely invited.”

“Before I answer that…Jimin how did you not know about Nick and him being Jungkook’s roommate?”

“Listen! Jungkook is always HERE! I never go over there! The few times I was there Nick was never home okay?!” Jimin whines obnoxiously.

“Okay, whatever. And Jungkook, I said—”

“You said group hang outs.” Jungkook pouts.

Oh. You did say that. But this soon? And is she going to be there?

You chew on your lips before answering, “Okay. But I’m bringing Trina and Holly.”

“Oh bro, Trina is not your biggest fan.” Jimin cuts in.

“Yeah, I know how she is I already anticipated that.” Jungkook shrugs, he looks at you with a small smile.

Okay, starting over? Taking it slow? Can you and Jungkook do this? You look between the boys and smile,

“Okay. See you boys on Thursday.”

[thekillingquill]

Why is the Ron always gone?

His pride got in the way and he stopped talking to you.

When they needed something you'd miss the most they put him at the bottom of the lake.

He got a clingy girlfriend.

He had another hissy fit and abandoned you in the middle of extreme camping.

Feel free to add more reasons for why the Ron is always gone.

[psychdelia]

christmas used to be billy’s favorite holiday. he loved setting up the tree every year with his mom, matching big smiles on their faces as she carried him to set the star on top. he would help her cook and bake, dance around the kitchen with her. she always surprised him with more gifts than he anticipated, and he would give her a card with messy handwriting and glitter and a drawing of the two of them with i love you mommy scribbled on the bottom.

and then she left and christmas joy was replaced with pain. his father screaming and presenting him with fists instead of gifts. and then max and susan came along and she was their little angel. spoiled with gifts and love while he received nothing but hurt.

billy hates christmas now. hates the holidays in general, but christmas the most. spends all day sulking, curled up in bed and crying. neil gets on him about it, maybe smacks him around before leaving him even worse than how he started. he lost all hope that maybe she’ll come back as a christmas miracle, scoop him up and take him away from all the hurt.

his plan for the day was to stay in bed. avoid the world. but then neil came barging in, demanding billy get off his ass and take max to the byers’ for a christmas party. he was stupid to think that he could catch a break after being forced to ‘celebrate’ with them yesterday, which essentially meant being forced to help susan in the kitchen and watch max get showered in love and gifts while he received nothing.

so he got up. threw on a dark green sweater, tight jeans and boots, still not nearly warm enough for hawkins winter. he silently drove max to the house, only looking at her when she didn’t get out after a minute of being parked.

“what.” billy spoke flatly, his first word of the day.

“come and hang out with us.” max rushed out, nervously fidgeting with the hem of her sweater.

billy just sighed.

“i’m not really in the mood to hang out with a bunch of snotty little shits, so,” he shrugged. “maybe next year.”

“it’s not just us! nancy and jonathan are there. and mrs. byers and chief hopper! and,” a pause. “robin and steve.” she added on quietly.

“max i don’t really think-“ he was interrupted by a knock on his window. he turned to find a very happy and smiling mrs. byers eagerly waving at them.

“come inside!” she urged as billy rolled his window down.

billy just looked at max and gestured towards the house, ignoring her dramatic defeated groan before she got out.

“you too!” joyce grabbed billy’s shoulder, smile faltering at the way he flinched, her touch unexpected. “max told me you guys already celebrated yesterday. what’s another celebration?”

“i don’t think it’s a good idea mrs. byers.” he replied with a small smile, hoping to charm his way out of this situation.

she sighed. “honey, it’s your second and probably last christmas in hawkins before you go to school back home.” she responded to his shocked expression with a sad smile. “we all figured you’d be applying to schools there. and max might’ve slipped up. don’t be mad at her! she’s just scared to lose you, is all.”

billy frowned and looked down at his hands. he hadn’t even told her he was only applying to schools in california. just trying to graduate and get the hell out of indiana, go back home.

“come on, kiddo. your sister would appreciate it.” a pause. “i’ll spike your eggnog.”

billy sighed, taking a few seconds to contemplate before getting out of the car.

“oh you must be freezing.” joyce rolled her eyes as she tugged at his sweater. “you kids and your fashion. you’re gonna get yourself sick like this. hawkins isn’t california!”

billy snorted. “duh.” he mumbled as she dragged him inside.

billy should’ve expected the stares. the guarded, confused and slightly angry expressions at his presence. he felt small, being glared at by nearly everyone in the room. he wanted to turn around, walk right back out that door. almost did if it weren’t for joyce stopping him in his tracks and holding his arm.

“oh, stop that you brats.” joyce huffed. “it’s christmas. be nice! and if you can’t be nice… no more cookies.” she smirked as they all groaned in protest in unison.

billy didn’t really care about the kids. he apologized to lucas not too long after that night, even agreed to the stupid deal to drive him around town and rev his engine to receive his forgiveness in full. it took him longer to approach steve, though. didn’t have the balls to do it until a couple months before steve graduated. he found him alone in the library, studying to get his gpa high enough to be able to graduate and get his diploma.

“can i sit here?” billy gestured towards the empty chair across from steve, who was glaring at him.

“only if you don’t give me another concussion.”

billy gnawed on his bottom lip as he slid into the seat, staring at the table and avoiding eye contact like a goddamn child.

it took him a minute to finally look up and spit out those two words he’d been meaning to say since that night. but it wasn’t the apologizing he dreaded most, it was the explanation and conversation that followed. he expected steve would ask questions, and shit did he have a lot.

billy kept his answers short, general. didn’t spill too much about all the shit going on in his life and in his head. steve didn’t look satisfied with his answers, but he eventually stopped asking questions. gave billy a stiff nod with a,

“yeah. fine. i accept your apology, i guess. just don’t fuck with me or the kids anymore.”

and that was that. billy kept his distance from them altogether. he occasionally carted lucas and max around for their stupid little dates, teasing them here and there. but it was never malicious.

now he stood right in front of the door in joyce’s house, itching to get out. lucas, max and her friends el and will were the only ones not staring at him apprehensively. the curly haired one was whining, asking why he had to be there, throwing in a few words he was probably too young to be saying. boy wheeler was following suit, making grand gestures and calling him an asshole. nancy looked just as prissy as always, turning her nose up. jonathan avoided eye contact. steve wasn’t quite glaring, but he didn’t look too happy to see him either. just because they were on okay terms didn’t mean they were on great terms. his girl robin didn’t seem too thrilled either.

“i’m just gonna..” billy pointed towards the table filled with drinks and snacks. he walked away as the commotion continued behind him, helping himself to the bowl labeled adult eggnog. he grimaced after the first sip before pouring himself a little more.

it was hard to make himself comfortable. he sat stiff and tense on the edge of the couch, as far away from everyone as he could get. the burn of the rum didn’t do much to heal the hurt in his chest, the pain of abandonment and grief he felt this time every year. he tried to tune everyone out, ignoring the kids yelling as they played video and board games, hopper as he snuck the teenagers more eggnog and beer, joyce as she continued to force feed everyone her christmas appetizers.

he found himself staring at the tree, messily decorated to the brim and a little lopsided. his gaze shifted to the walls, family pictures of just the brothers, then joyce and the brothers, and some including hopper and el. he was unconsciously playing with the chain around his neck, chest getting tighter and tighter. he forced his eyes away from the pictures to find jonathan helping joyce cook and set up dinner in the kitchen, laughing and smiling.

that was his breaking point. he set down his empty cup and sped off to the bathroom, scrubbing at his wet eyes. he shut the door behind him, pacing back and forth, trying to breathe through the lump in his throat. he eventually gave up trying to fight the tears off, a christmas tradition for him at this point. he eventually sat down in and slumped back against the bathtub, closing the curtains and shielding him from the rest of the world. he tuned out the music and chatter from outside, instead hugging his knees to his chest and hiding his face in his hands as he cried.

he knew he shouldn’t have listened to joyce. he shouldn’t have gotten out of his car and stepped foot into this house. he should’ve just gone home and lay in bed all day, much less embarrassing than crying in a goddamn bathtub with people right outside.

but here he was, trying to make up for lost time and bonding and memories with max, to show her that he cares and loves her and isn’t going to abandon her like his mother. and yet he was alone, abandoned and abandoning max in just 5 months. his chest hurt as he cried harder, tears freely slipping down his cheeks and staining his stupid sweater. he was nearly wheezing for air, not getting enough in between his sobs.

he must’ve been too loud because he didn’t hear the door open and shut. didn’t even know he wasn’t alone until steve pulled back the curtain, stunned to find him curled up there and crying.

billy wanted to snarl at him, glare at him with a smartass comment about the bathroom being occupied, but all that came out when he opened his mouth was another choked sob.

“shit, man, you don’t look so good.” steve spoke the obvious. “hargrove, you gotta breathe. don’t want you turning blue on me.”

billy turned away, shielded his face with his arms for god knows what. maybe he was expecting a punch, to be told he was a little bitch for crying like this. but all he received were hesitant hands gently prying his wrists away from his face.

“hey.” steve murmured, now only inches away from him. billy didn’t realize he climbed into the tub with him, kneeling before him in the cramped space.

“fuck off.” billy breathed out, all bark no bite, trying to pull his arms away from steve’s grip. but steve didn’t let up.

“why? so you can suffocate yourself to death in mrs. byers’ bathroom?” steve mused, rubbing circles into billy’s wrists with his thumb. “not gonna happen.”

“i don’t need-“ he choked up, words cracking as more tears unleashed. “i don’t need a fucking babysitter.”

“i know.” steve let go of his wrists, sitting back against the opposite end of the small tub. billy almost whimpered at the loss. was so glad he could will himself against at least one thing.

“what about a friend?” steve took in the way billy’s eyes shifted towards him, expression guarded. “look, man, you’re graduating and leaving next summer,” how many people had max told? “and you’re obviously going through some shit so i don’t see why i can’t at least try to help you through this so we,” he sighed as he gestured between them. “so we can be friends and not on bad terms anymore because i’m tired of having enemies.” he rushed out, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “i know what it feels like to want to leave this shithole, trust me. robin already applied to schools in cali too and i was maybe thinking about going with her and if we end up in the same place then maybe we can all be friends and help each other out.” he rushed out again.

billy just stared at him, bottom lip quivering pathetically. here steve was, offering to be his friend and follow both him and robin all the way to california. he’d be stupid if he didn’t take the offer.

“what? you following your little girlfriend out to cali for her to dump you on your ass like the last one?” billy was never too bright in the friendship industry.

“what? no. robin’s not - we’re not like that. we’re just friends.” steve frowned. “i already applied to some community colleges out there. but this isn’t about that right now.” he waved his hand dismissively. “you gonna tell me what’s up with you now? a secret for a secret?”

billy opened his mouth to try and reject the offer, to tell steve to fuck off again, but another sob wracked his body. he let out a frustrated groan through his tears as he scrubbed uselessly at his eyes.

“fuckin’ hate christmas.” he choked out, grabbing onto the saint necklace. his mother’s. “it-“ a whimper. “it was my favorite. at least until my mom,” he shut his eyes tightly, tears spilling out of the corners. “she just. up and left. left me with no note or explanation and a piece of shit father.” he exhaled shakily. “he beat her. and when she left..” he trailed off, gesturing towards himself. “there were no more fucking homemade pies or trees or gifts. just him. always drunk and angry every christmas, blaming me for her. then max and susan came into the picture and they had their perfect little family. celebrated every year.” the without me went unspoken.

billy hadn’t realized steve was inching closer and closer to him until he looked up from the bathtub and found steve inches away from him again, eyes big and sad as they looked over him.

“what are you-“ billy didn’t get to finish his sentence before he was enveloped in a big hug, the guy squeezing him tightly.

“hugging you.” steve mumbled into his shoulder, forcing billy’s face into the crook of his neck. in no time he was crying yet again, right into steve’s fucking shoulder.

steve was good at hugs. good at comfort. the way he rubbed all along billy’s back, one arm secured around his waist made him feel safe in a way he hadn’t in probably a decade. he let himself go again, freely ugly crying into his expensive and soft christmas sweater, clinging onto the material with weak, shaky fists.

“i didn’t know.” steve finally spoke after a minute. “shit, man, no one knows anything about you. i figured your dad was a hard ass after we talked about the fight but not that bad.” he pulled back just an inch, catching billy’s eyes with his own. “does anyone else know?”

billy shook his head.

“why don’t you tell hopper?” steve frowned. “that’s not normal or okay.”

“no point.” billy shook his head. “i turned 18 in november. can’t do jack shit now but wait until i graduate.”

“then move out.” steve said it like it was easy. like he could afford it, like he had anywhere to go.

billy laughed but it was more sad than humored.

“and where would i go?”

“with me.” steve’s response was immediate, no hesitation. “my dad’s always gone on business trips and my mom’s italian.” he said it like it was self explanatory. billy’s confused expression prompted him to continue. “she can’t stand bad parents and she loves company. you’re another mouth to force feed, too. she makes great pasta.”

billy shook his head. “i can’t just move in with you. what if they say no or-or it doesn’t work.”

“they won’t say no.” steve assured. “come on.” he urged. “it’s just one more semester and then we’re off to the golden coast.” he smiled dumbly. “it’ll work. trust me.”

billy went silent. thought about it for a minute. what it could be like to get out of that house. live and be friends with steve. go back home with him later on.

billy slowly nodded. “okay.” he mumbled. “okay.” he repeated again, louder and solidified.

they’d make it work.

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

Breakfast Blues. (Shigaraki x f!Reader, NSFWish)

Tomura could tell something was off as soon as he entered the kitchen. Your smile felt a little too forced, your eyes a little too hopeful as you plated a bowl of rice and eggs for him, hesitating for a moment to speak. It put him in a sour mood. He didn't like having to pry answers from you.

He usually managed to swipe his breakfast away and go back to his room for privacy, but you were making this increasingly difficult for him lately. It started with inane attempts to get him into conversations with you, which really was a stupid idea, given the fact that he never mustered more than a few grunts in the morning. His growling stomach initially helped fighting you off, but you seemed to have a backbone today.

Gripping the dishes in hand, you offered him a meek smile and asked, "Would you like to eat together?"

His eyes narrowed as he frowned. "Why?" his voice croaked out, scratchy and unpleasant from disuse.

"I just thought it would be nice. You're busy a lot, so ... "

"So?" Your confidence faltered under his scrutinizing stare. Something about your dying smile made him even more irritated, or perhaps confused. And he did not like feeling confused. "I'm hungry, woman."

Sensing his displeasure, you wordlessly handed over the breakfast and looked away. Under different circumstances, Tomura liked teasing you in this state. So secretive and cute, your lips set in a stubborn pout and your chin cast downwards for him to inevitably grip and force your attention back to him.

But he was so damn hungry and he had a game loaded on his computer for his return.

Tomura turned to leave, having decided he waited enough for your comeback. It was only the glaring absence of your shuffling feet and the tinkering of cookware that made him pause for a split second at the threshold. Just a quick glance to satiate his curiosity.

You stood exactly where he left you, still looking away, hands wringing together without anything else to hold. Defeated and hurt. The sting of negative emotions welled up inside him so suddenly that he immediately took off, wishing he had a free hand to scratch his neck.

-

No amount of homecooked breakfast or countless wins could erase his lingering discontent. Tomura tried to ignore that strange encounter with you, burying his thoughts in strategies and shit-talking as he let the time slip away. But try as he might, he just couldn't shake it off. Throwing aside his game console, Tomura leered at the clock and slumped in his chair, annoyed at the realization that you hadn't visited him this whole time.

You were nowhere to be found in the apartment. A cursory glance at his phone showed him a single text from you. I'm going out with Toga. Be back later.

You didn't even send him a heart emoji.

It was a stupid thing to set him off. Everything about today was stupid. You were stupid, he was stupid, his damn neediness was stupid, even the breakfast bowls he brought to the sink were stupid. What kind of world was this, where he, Shigaraki Tomura, successor of Japan's most dangerous criminal, brought his dishes to the kitchen and moped about a goddamn heart emoji.

He needed a drink.

-

It was a testament to his bad mood that Tomura chose to walk all the way to the bar instead of asking Kurogiri to warp him there. His eyes scanned the streets in a vain attempt to track you down among the crowd, but you were nowhere to be found and he was growing anxious by the minute.

Tomura kicked the door open and hopped the counter to pilfer the expensive liquor stash. His taste gravitated towards the most expensive rum in the collection. He could certainly chase his sorrows away with cheap swill or rubbing alcohol, but if he was going to torture his body tonight, then he would do so with style. It was all worthless in the end, anyway.

He sat by himself for who knows how long. It was utterly pathetic and he knew he had better things to do, yet every time he tried to pull himself away from the counter, his head spun uncomfortably and the amber liquid beckoned him towards a numbing buzz. His phone lay abandoned on the counter, having been checked several times for a text or a phone call from you.

You hadn't even called to find out where he was. He had half a mind to wonder if you would walk through the door to surprise him, but there were only so many times he could glance at the door before the urge to disintegrate it took hold. He grabbed the rum bottle instead, messily pouring more liquor into his glass as he ignored the distortion of the air in front of him. He was in no state of mind to stare straight into Kurogiri's spinning portal. The very thought of it made him slam the bottle down and hold onto it for dear life to compose himself.

Kurogiri appeared behind the bar, quietly assessing the state of his charge. He pulled out a rag to mop up spilled liquor and eyed Tomura's heavy movements as he let go of the rum and took the glass in a white-knuckled grip.

"You are alone."

Tomura grunted, taking a swig to avoid conversation. His guardian was smart enough to immediately pick up his mood. It was both annoying and reassuring to see those golden eyes narrow in astute observation.

"It is rare for your lover to be absent."

"..."

A moment of silence. "Forgive me for being presumptuous, but you seem to be more upset than usual."

Tomura snorted. "Yeah, no shit." He stared at the rum glass in frustration, glaring at the alcohol as though it had personally offended him. His fingertips curled around the rim as he lifted the glass and swirled the liquid around, irate at the stretching silence. It was bad enough he had to deal with your petulant absence. Now he had to endure Kurogiri's calm patience, too.

His fingers gripped the glass tighter as he contemplated satisfying his urge to decay, to give him some form of release from the frustration currently plaguing him. The blaring noise of his video games would be a welcome respite from this silence. Instead, he was forced to nurse a headache while Kurogiri made him feel like a child.

All because of you. You had a hold on him even when you were gone. Perhaps even more poignant because you were gone.

"It's fucking dumb," Tomura grumbled. And it was. The situation was so unbelievably ridiculous that he clammed up again, unable to voice his problems lest he fly into a rage over the mental image of your sorrowful eyes and quivering bottom lip.

"What happened?"

"I don't even know. She's been acting weird the past week and it all blew over this morning." His leg jittered restlessly against the footrest. He crossed his leg over his thigh to regain some semblance of control, letting out a sharp sigh as he scratched his neck. "I just wanted some damn breakfast. That's all. And that woman stood there looking like I broke up with her just because I didn't want to eat with her."

"Were you doing something important?"

Oh, he did not like that question. He did not like it one bit.

"I was in the middle of gaming," Tomura growled through clenched teeth. "Don't even try to bitch at me about it."

"That was not my intention. I know how important your lifestyle is to you." Tomura stared at him, feeling his anger somehow slip through the cracks and fizzle away. Kurogiri took the whiskey bottle beside him and poured more into the emptying glass. "Has this happened before?"

"No. Sometimes she tried to keep me there longer with dumb small-talk, but she's never flat out asked. And the damn look on her face when I - " Tomura cut himself off with a frustrated growl. Your defeated expression haunted him once more. He downed the liquor in one go and reveled in the horrible burn tearing his throat apart. "What the hell does she want from me?" he forced out, staring hard into the distance as a sudden sense of shame stabbed him like a knife.

"If I may speculate ... " Kurogiri paused, waiting for his rebuke. When none came, an answer followed. "You are often preoccupied throughout the day. Perhaps she simply misses you and craves your attention."

Tomura opened his mouth and promptly closed it. A bout of dizziness hit him. Was it the alcohol or the crashing realization of how obvious the answer had been?

The logic of Kurogiri's statement was so absurdly simple that it had to be true. Because you really were just so simple. Uncomplicated in your motives, always wearing your heart on your sleeve, and always so flagrantly loving and patient with him. Tomura looked away from Kurogiri, hating how well his guardian knew not only him, but you, too.

A little flame of happiness kindled deep inside him, threatening to chase away the darkness of his bitter emotions. You hadn't been difficult on purpose this morning. You just wanted to spend time with him.

His bleary gaze settled on the monitor resting at the other end of the bar. How would his mentor react to this situation?

The silence coming from the monitor felt altogether different from what he experienced so far. It was uncomfortable and imposing, filling his ears with white noise and clouding his thoughts. Tomura stared at his reflection in the black screen and frowned, hyper-aware of the way his eyes had softened while he thought about you, the way he looked so boyish and tired.

Look at what she is turning you into, the screen seemed to say.

"Shigaraki Tomura." He tore his gaze away from his reflection and met Kurogiri's expressionless face. "Is it a weakness to enjoy feeling wanted?"

His brows furrowed in thought.

-

Tomura made up with you in the most typical fashion. That is to say, he cornered you at home and snuffed out any further talk by devouring your lips with incessant kisses, taking you right on the living room couch and stalking after you to your bedroom for more. It was a love language he knew best, letting you feel his feverish desire with every deep thrust, the firm iron grip of his hands on your soft hips and thighs, his groans and whispered demands for more of you, more of your tight heat and your gentle fingers outlining his scars, touching his rough lips, nails digging into his back as you mewl for more of him.

You were hellfire. There was no liquor strong enough in the world to burn him half as much as his need to tell you he loved you. The words clawed and tore at his chest, inflamed his throat until he choked on them, forcing him to spit out twisted versions of the truth. Cowardly, pathetic half-truths about how you belonged to him, how you were his and his alone.

And you still smiled at him for it. You took all that he gave you and asked for so little in return.

Is it a weakness to enjoy feeling wanted?

The question plagued him throughout the night as your arms held him close, his head pillowed on your chest while he listened to your soft breathing and felt the beat of your heart whispering an answer he could not decipher.

-

Tomura awoke to your absence. It was not a rare occurrence. The split-second paranoia washing over him was not rare, either. He ran from that feeling many times before, immediately sick at the thought of how lonely he felt without you. It was pathetic. He should not feel this way about anyone. He should feel empty, as though you were just a moment of entertainment, an experience to be had and a level to beat in the game of life.

But you were well past that point now. Whether or not he could say it aloud, Tomura was in love. So if you wanted to have breakfast together, then you had better prepare yourself for his morning attitude.

He caught you a little early this time. You were in the middle of stirring an omelette when he crept up behind you, jolting in surprise as he pressed himself to your back and wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Good morning," you greeted him, giving him a peck on the cheek. A light smile played on your lips. "I'm almost done."

Tomura purred a noncommittal response and curled his fingers around your jaw, angling your head back to capture your mouth in a lazy kiss. Your pleased sigh broke off into a stilted noise as he dipped his tongue inside and made sure you felt every slow lick and suck to your lips. His arm tightened in response to you melting against him, mentally debating whether he should let you finish cooking or to find the nearest surface to defile.

A sizzling pop from the frying pan caught your attention. You kissed him hard and returned to your duty, using your spatula to roll the omelette into shape. Your tongue peaked out from your reddened lips as you made a face of mild disgust. "You didn't brush, nasty."

"Didn't stop you though," Tomura countered, grinning at your wry expression.

You spooned the cooked food onto a nearby plate and cracked another egg into the pan. He waited for your invitation, good mood dampening by the second as you settled into your routine without another word. It was an expected reaction, to be fair. He hurt you yesterday and now he was paying for it.

Your questioning glance put him on alert. "Do you need something else?"

He wracked his brain for a response. Something that could keep him here longer without raising further suspicion. "Orange juice."

"It's in the fridge. Can you pour me some, too?"

Tomura forced himself to detach from you, taking his time to complete the task as he watched your progress from the corner of his eye. Cups placed on the table. Orange juice poured at a strategically slow rate. By the time he finished, your breakfast had been plated and you left it unattended to hurriedly put the forgotten box of eggs back into the fridge. Tomura used this distraction to take both plates to the table, setting yours across from him as he plopped down onto the chair and began to eat.

You caught on as soon as the fridge door closed. Tomura could feel your stare on him while he downed the orange juice. He glanced at you nonchalantly, eyebrow raised as though you were the one behaving abnormally.

"You're joining me?" you asked, a hint of hope coloring your voice as you sat down.

"Clearly."

You smiled so sweetly that he felt his heart stammer and restart. "Wow. Can I get you to eat some fruits while we're at it?"

"Don't push your luck," he grumbled, and that was the end of that.

Tomura silently listened to your happy chatter and the clanging of silverware on plates, wondering how the hell he found himself in domestic bliss. Sunlight streamed through the nearby window and illuminated your entire being, heightening your inner glow. You looked beautiful and peaceful. It calmed him far more than you could ever know.

Did he feel weak as he basked in your attention? Did he feel weak, knowing that you wanted him beside you even for the most mundane things?

The answer was undeniable.

He felt strong.

Different from the power trip he thrived on when he succeeded in yet another level.

Different from the sadistic glee he felt when the nomu followed his command.

Different from the sense of duty plaguing his mind when his teammates looked to him for direction.

This inner sense of peace steadied his mind and cleared his thoughts. How could it be weakness when he would tear the world apart for you?

The soft tap of your foot on his knee drew his attention to you. "This was nice," you softly said. "Next time I'll leave a trail of takoyaki outside your room so you can join me for lunch."

He huffed a dry laugh. "Make me botamochis and you got yourself a deal."

"You'll eat sweets made from red beans but not a single fruit ... " You innocently popped another strawberry into your mouth. "Not even these strawberries ... "

"Get over here and give me a taste then," he growled, settling back in his chair with a clear invitation of his own.

You accepted without delay.

[onlycertainty-archive]

[hotpinkhoshi]

devour (m)

pairing: human!baekhyun x vampire!reader (f) genre: smut, paranormal warnings: mentions of blood, pain, monsters etc, explicit sex involving some slight dom/sub themes but not really. a lot of position switching, oral (m receiving), cursing  word count: 6.6k summary: you’re thirsty. so damn thirsty. and baekhyun is the only one that can give you what you want. it’s the last time, really the last time, you tell yourself.  a/n: hello my lovely amazing readers! thank you so much for being so patient with me these last several months, i know i haven’t been very consistent with my posting BUT i promise i’m trying. i started this piece about 3 weeks ago and my only goal was to finish it by the end of the month. thankfully i just barely finished in time! i hope you enjoy but first, a disclaimer: i haven’t read or watched anything about vampires in many years so i know there may be things that don’t technically make sense. vampire enthusiasts pls do not come for me, i did my best.  thanks to: all my followers, @jjinyounf for discussing vampire reproductive systems, & @flowerbeom​ and @jjpmoans​ for hyping me up and giving me love and encouragement whenever i need it, which is a lot!

Last time, you told yourself it was the last time. 

The last time you let Baekhyun into your apartment at half past three in the morning, so out of your mind starving that you could hardly even see straight. The last time you let him take you, command your body like it was no longer your own.

You should have known you were lying to yourself. 

You [3:28am]: are you up?

Baek [3:29am]: yea, why?

You [3:31am]: can you come over? 

After your last message, you got no response. Perhaps, you thought, he’d fallen asleep or worse, had no interest in being your blood bag for the night. You would be disappointed, but you wouldn’t blame him. 

You rolled over in bed, flopping onto your stomach as you buried your face into your pillow. Maybe you could simply push through and wait until morning, when Kyungsoo would be awake and able to help you. 

After you turned a few months ago, totally unexpectedly, it had flipped your world upside down. Kyungsoo found you, shivering and delirious by a dumpster where your fun little one night stand had left you. 

Kyungsoo was human, but he was the type of person that people trusted and allowed into their worlds, no matter who they were. As one of the general surgeons of the local hospital, he’d gotten himself into a position of substantial power over both the humans and the vampires of your city. He never used it as a weapon—only as leverage to keep the humans safe.

When he found you, he’d wrapped you in his jacket and carried you to his apartment, but you didn’t remember anything until many days later. Kyungsoo nursed you to health, providing you with a vampire crash course to prepare you for the rest of your life. Of eternity. 

Then he’d introduced you to some of his friends at a party after you were more comfortable, although you had yet to feed on a living human. There was a whole community of humans that got off on it, that lived for the pain and pleasure of letting a vampire feed on them. 

It was at this party that you met Baekhyun. He had a mischievous glint in his eye when Kyungsoo told him your name and left the two of you alone in the dimly lit, smoky club basement. Something about that look in Baekhyun’s eyes told you he knew you’d be his by the end of the night. 

The feeling, the taste, the pure ecstasy of finally consuming fresh blood was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, even when you were alive. Your senses were heightened as a vampire as it was, but as soon as his blood hit your tongue, it was like your world exploded into a million colors. 

But even though you’d been the monster drinking his blood, Baekhyun remained in control. He laid you out on his bed and pinned your wrists to the mattress with one hand, his other wrist pressed into your mouth as he forced you to feed. 

You whimpered and cried out when it was too much, when the overstimulation of his blood and the way he was rocking into you at a brutally rhythmic pace had you seeing stars. He never relented; only fucked you harder as you writhed under him. 

After that night, you never wanted anyone else. Baekhyun was the only man you wanted to feed from. With him, you didn’t feel like a monster. You didn’t feel like a thing, like a horror story to tell in the dark. 

He made you feel human again. 

Tonight, the thirst was too much to handle. It was clouding your mind and keeping you awake as you twisted and turned under the covers. You couldn’t tell if you were craving his blood or craving him, but you were too weak to care. 

You hated the thirst. It was like dehydration, tenfold. Your head hurt, your lips were dry no matter how many times you wet them, and all you could think about was warm blood sliding down your throat. It was maddening. 

The telltale sound of your apartment’s buzzer had you sitting up in bed, so quickly that it made your head spin, the noise signaling that you had a visitor down at the main entrance to your building. 

You scurried off the bed and hurried to the door, nearly running into it as you slid on the hardwood in your socks to let him in. You told yourself the eagerness to see him was only because you were thirsty, certainly nothing more.

As soon as you opened the door, you felt embarrassingly underdressed. 

Baekhyun had dyed his hair since you’d last seen him. It was now a silver blonde, perfectly messy and framing his stupidly beautiful features. He’d been out tonight, you realized. The glitter on his cheekbones gave it away. 

His hands were stuffed comfortably in the pockets of his leather jacket with a faded graphic tee underneath, and expertly tailored black jeans practically painted onto his lower half. 

You tugged the hem of your T-shirt down, even though he’d already had you in positions that you hadn’t even thought were physically possible—vampire or not. For some reason, you still felt bare in front of him in your pajama shorts and oversized tee.

“Hmm,” Baekhyun hummed as he stepped inside, letting the heavy door close behind him. He smelled like smoke and rum. “Look at you. Is someone thirsty?”

You blinked, grateful that you were incapable of blushing. As ravenous and desperate for blood as you were, the way he looked you up and down made you feel small and shy. 

“Can I?” you asked, reaching for his wrist, half tucked into the pocket of his jacket. 

“Uh-uh.” He stepped back just before your fingers brushed his skin. “You know that’s not how it works, baby. You still need to work for it.” 

If you wanted to, you could muster your strength and slam him into the door, dive for his neck and bleed him dry before he even realized what was happening. But you didn’t. You wanted this, you wanted to beg and plead until finally, he rewarded you. 

“Baekhyun,” you whispered, then dragged your tongue over the dry, cracking skin of your lips. “I’m so thirsty. I’ll do whatever you want.” 

He seemed pleased by this, judging by the way his lips turned into a familiar smirk. “I know you will. Come on, let’s go sit down.” 

You followed him to the living room obediently, watching as he made himself comfortable on the couch. He shrugged his jacket off, revealing the expanse of his forearms down to his wrists, covered in bite marks in various stages of healing. 

All from you. 

If he had chosen to get his fix somewhere else, you wouldn’t have any reason to be envious or hurt. But it filled you with a sense of pride that he didn’t, that you were the only one he allowed to taste him. 

You moved to sit next to him, but Baekhyun stopped you. He took your hand, leading you to stand in between his parted legs. 

“Knees.” 

It took one word for you to drop to the carpet, your bare knees pressing into the old scratchy shag rug you’d had for ages. He kept your fingers in his palm, rubbing his thumb idly over the back of your hand. 

“Good girl.” With his other hand, he tucked your hair behind your ear, his wrist brushing against your cheek so that you could hear the pulse beneath his skin. 

“Baek…” you began, turning slightly until your nose brushed his skin. “Just a taste. Please.”

Baekhyun lifted your chin with his finger and locked eyes with you. You filled with warmth already, just one look enough to send your mind racing with images of everything you wanted from him. His blood was further down the list than you would have thought.

“Just a taste,” he repeated. 

With that, he let go of your hand and turned slightly to reach into the pocket of his discarded jacket. When he pulled out the shiny folded metal, you gulped hungrily. 

The pocketknife brandished with a metallic click. 

It wasn’t uncommon for humans to carry weapons these days. After all, vampires weren’t the only monsters that roamed the streets after dusk, and not all vampires were quite as friendly with humans as you were. 

Your eyes followed Baekhyun’s nimble fingers as he brought the very end of his knife to his middle finger, twisting the point into his fingertip until a spot of blood appeared. 

It took every bit of self control that you possessed not to reach out in desperation for his hand and bring it to your mouth. But you knew better—you knew if you broke, Baekhyun would stand up and walk out the door like you were less than nothing to him. 

He watched you with interest as he held his finger just out of your reach, eyes dancing with that mischievous stare he had when he teased you. You would despise it if you didn’t know that eventually, he always caved. 

Finally, when your mouth had gone dry and you could feel the warm tingle that meant your fangs were about to protrude, Baekhyun brought his index and middle fingers to your mouth. 

He slipped them past the parched skin of your lips, your entire world blooming as soon as his middle finger touched the center of your tongue. You moaned, eyes falling shut. 

“Look how needy you are,” he remarked after a beat. His voice was strained, though, as if watching your display of bliss was causing him physical pain. 

He let you go for a while, maybe half a minute, before he was removing his fingers from your mouth. You couldn’t help but whine, resisting every urge not to grab at his wrist to keep him there. 

With the small amount of his blood you’d been able to milk from his finger, you already felt renewed. A surge of energy coursed through you like you’d just been injected with adrenaline. 

“What do you say?” Baekhyun asked with a cocked brow. 

You swallowed, licking any remnants of his blood from your lips. “Thank you.” 

Without a second thought, you reached for Baekhyun’s belt, fingers quickly undoing the metal buckle. Your ears picked up the quickening of his heartbeat from the moment you undid the button of his pants. 

It was no surprise that most vampire-human relationships, if not ending in death, ended in sex. Feeding, in your experience, was extremely sensual and instantly created feelings of arousal within both parties. It was almost better than sex, and when the two came together? It was euphoric. 

You were pleased to find him half-hard already by the time you got his zipper down, your hand wrapping around the length of him under the fabric of his briefs. Baekhyun inhaled sharply, holding his breath until you had pulled his cock from his underwear. 

Only a few seconds passed before you leaned forward, parting your lips to run your tongue along the underside of his member. Your eyes remained open, locked on Baekhyun’s face to gauge his reaction. 

He loved it, of course. 

With a groan, he tipped his head back, exposing his throat and sending a shockwave to your core. You wanted his throat, his neck, all of that fresh, warm blood pumping beneath his skin. But you wanted to taste it while he was inside of you. It would be worth the wait. 

Your eyes fell shut as you took his length into your mouth, deeper and deeper with each stroke until he hit the back of your throat. Unlike men you’d been with when you were human, Baekhyun made no effort to remain quiet. He was loud, and you loved it. 

If you had your way, all of your days would be filled with Baekhyun’s voice. His moans, his rough whispers in your ear, his laugh, his hums as he completed mundane tasks like wiping down the counters or tying his shoes. Deep down, you wanted it all.

“Good girl, that’s my girl,” he whispered, reaching forward to lace his fingers in your hair. He curled his hand into a tight fist, a deliciously sharp pain spreading across your scalp. 

You whimpered, lips wrapped tight and wet around him. He guided you back and forth for a while with his hand in your hair, muttering soft praises all the while. By the way his hips were twitching towards your face, you knew he was getting lost in the ministrations of your mouth. 

Baekhyun soon dropped his hand from your hair, signaling you to pull away, just in time for him to stand up and pull you to your feet. 

A squeak of surprise fell from your lips as he lifted you, hooking your legs around his waist in a simple, swift movement.

“Bed,” he said simply. 

Baekhyun carried you through your apartment as if it was his own, lips kissing and nipping at your neck as he dodged every obstacle between the two of you and the bedroom. He stopped once, in the hallway, to lean you into wall and roll his hips into your center. 

His name came out as a sigh. 

Then, finally, he dropped you onto the center of your bed. It was messy from your previous tossing around in the sheets from your thirst, but neither of you cared. Baekhyun reached for the comforter, knotted and piled together under your lower back, and easily tossed it off the bed to leave nothing but the sheets under you. 

He stood at the foot of the bed, chest heaving up and down, and ran his fingers through his hair. The look in his eyes had you squirming, ready for him to devour you in every way possible. 

“Are you still thirsty, baby?” 

Your heart clenched at the pet name, even though he always called you that, loving the way it sounded on his lips. You gulped, nodding as you batted your eyelashes. 

“Yes,” you admitted. 

“Take off your clothes,” he told you, hands reaching for his jeans, still unbuttoned, to push them down his legs. 

It took less than a second for you to obey, clutching the waistband of your shorts and shoving them off of you. You knew he liked when you kept your underwear on, just so he could use it to further torture you by keeping a layer between you. 

You slipped your thin T-shirt off, throwing it to the side and laying back into the mattress again. Baekhyun had removed his own shirt, leaving just his briefs from letting you see all of him. 

You could marvel at his body for hours—he was slender, but solid. He wasn’t much taller than you, but his shoulders were broad enough to make you feel protected in those rare moments when he held you in his arms. 

This time, though, you noticed something new. There was a handful of bruises and scratches marring his body, completely different from the puncture marks that your fangs left when you fed on him. Blinking, you furrowed your eyebrows, fingers reaching out. 

“What are-”

“No questions,” Baekhyun cut you off, reaching for your hands before they could reach their destination. His face softened, ever so slightly, when you quickly retreated, curling your hands up near your own chest. “We’re not here to talk, are we, baby?”

Just like that, he made you forget the suspicious marks on his chest, even one slash that looked particularly painful. Almost like he’d been cut by a knife.  

Watching the way he licked his lips as his eyes traveled down your body, slowly, so slowly, you were easily steered back to the task at hand. You dropped your hands to the sheets, digging your nails into the fabric as he overwhelmed each of your senses. 

Even from here, you could smell his blood. From here, you could hear the steady, strong beat of his heart, taste the alcohol and nicotine of his kiss. Your body was calling out to him and you weren’t sure how much longer you could deny what it needed. 

“Baekhyun,” you found yourself whining, hips squirming under his hungry gaze. 

His eyes snapped up to your face then, so much desire and pure lust in his stare that you felt a brand new surge of heat travel through your limbs. 

“Mm, first…” he pressed one knee down into the mattress, then the other, until he was hovering over you. “We have to see if you’re ready for me, don’t we?” 

Baekhyun led a painfully light touch down the middle of your chest with his index and middle fingers, between your bare breasts, and down the valley of your stomach at a pace that had you biting your tongue just to keep from begging him for the nth time. It would only further encourage him to play with you, of which you could only tolerate so much. 

You knew his moves by now, knew that he would trail those fingers down to your waist, over the elastic of your panties until he found the evidence of your arousal between your legs. You knew his moves, and he still had you whimpering the moment his fingers brushed your clit through your panties. 

Your toes curled into the sheets as you tried desperately not to show how crazy he was making you. He knew already, though, the moment he slid his fingers beneath the waistband of your panties and found wetness between your legs. 

“Oh,” Baekhyun said with a smirk, tongue running cheekily along his lower lip. “You’re dripping, Y/N. You’re this wet just from sucking me off?”

Again, you were grateful for your inability to blush. 

“Answer me,” he demanded suddenly, eyes turning dark just the way you liked them. 

“Yes!” you replied, hips canting up towards Baekhyun’s hand. “Yes, I’m this wet just from sucking you off.” 

Even after you closed your eyes, you were sure you could see the cocky smirk that was undoubtedly painted upon his lips. He lived for this, the feeling of absolutely owning you. You, an immortal, bloodthirsty, powerful woman despite how weak he made you. 

As his fingers delved lower, just until he could dip them into your entrance, you mewled and turned your cheek towards the pillow. “Please,” you breathed. 

Baekhyun’s lips brushed your neck. “Please, what?” 

“Want you… want-“ you sighed as his fingers pushed deeper, to his second knuckle. “Want you inside.”

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t surprise you when he finally gave in, but you couldn’t complain. Though he didn’t concede without a few deep pumps of his fingers, enough to have you gasping and close to ripping the sheets apart beneath you. 

Baekhyun slipped his fingers from you and stood from the bed, his hands pushing down his briefs without hesitation. He nodded at you once, motioning with his chin to the headboard behind you. 

“On your knees, and face the headboard.” 

Renewed with your need to feel Baekhyun inside of you, you easily flipped over onto all fours, that warm sensation in your gums warning you that your fangs would extend at any moment. You didn’t fight it, hoping that it wouldn’t be much longer until you would need them. 

“Fuck,” Baekhyun exhaled, just before you felt the bed shift with his weight as he moved behind you. “You’re beautiful, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love seeing you like this.” 

You’re beautiful. 

The words echoed in your mind, though you knew they probably shouldn’t. He rarely complimented you so boldly, especially before he was inside of you, overwhelmed with pleasure and pain. Curling your hands into fists, you shoved your feelings down because you needed to. A survival instinct, really. 

Because if you fell for him, if you opened your heart, the odds were against you. You weren’t sure why he chose you, why you were the only one he allowed to feed from him, but you couldn’t let yourself see it as any more than a mutual transaction of pleasure.

Baekhyun snapped you out of your thoughts easily the moment he pressed up against you from behind, his hands molding down your sides until he could place them upon your hips. 

You hung your head between your shoulders, reaching your hands out to grip the wooden slats of your headboard. The anticipation was always the best, and worst, part of this. 

It almost scared you how well Baekhyun knew your body. He knew when he trailed his fingertips down between your shoulder blades that you’d shiver and bite your lip, using every ounce of willpower that you possessed not to beg him. Even though you were pretty sure that’s what he wanted. 

He knew when he leaned forward and kissed your shoulder, that you’d ultimately lose the battle with yourself and your dignity. You were hot, sweaty, and desperate. Desperate enough to give in and sob his name, squeezing your headboard so hard that you felt the wood splinter beneath your hands. 

Without another word, his lips still pressed to your skin, you finally felt the tip of his cock tease your entrance. You held your breath, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn’t drag it out any longer. 

Your wish was granted as he filled you in one long stroke, both of you releasing satisfied moans at the sensation. This... this was bliss. 

“How are you-” Baekhyun ground out through his teeth and squeezed your hips hard enough you’d probably bruise, if you could, “-always this tight? God.” 

His lips trailed across from one shoulder blade to the other, giving your body a moment to adjust to the girth of him, before he began to move. Just like every other time, he pulled sighs and moans from you that only his ears had ever had the privilege of hearing. 

“Oh, my god,” you breathed, your walls clenching around him each time he filled you, his pace making your head spin. 

“How’s it feel, baby?” Baekhyun asked, voice low next to your ear. 

It took a few more thrusts for you to be able to catch your breath to answer him, your head spinning from the way he was fucking you. It didn’t matter how many times you had him, he always made you like this. Crazy, hungry, and weak. 

“Good, so… so good.” 

“That’s right,” Baekhyun answered, one hand drifting from your hip down between your legs to find your clit. “You’re taking me so well. Think you might get to feed a little earlier than normal tonight, baby.” 

You clenched around him once more at his words. Recently, Baekhyun had started making you wait longer and longer to taste him. The last time, you’d been teetering right on the edge of your second orgasm when he finally bared his neck to you.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world--no, that moment when his blood hit your tongue had sent you towards the most electric, trembling climax you’d ever had. But you had to admit your mouth was watering already at the thought of sinking your teeth into his skin sooner rather than later. 

“Please,” you begged, pushing your ass back towards him. “Please, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun rolled his fingers around your clit in circular motions, grunting as he thrusted hard, jolting you forward. You gasped and moaned, throwing your head back in ecstasy. 

“You want that, huh? You want me to fuck you while you drink from me?” He matched each stroke of his cock inside of you with the pace of his fingers, drawing tight circles between your legs. 

“Yes,” you answered, voice cracking. You didn’t just want it, you needed it. Your fangs were showing now, and you weren’t even sure at what point they’d finally protruded from your gums, a biological response to the thought that you would be needing them soon. 

Your world spun, briefly, as Baekhyun grabbed your hips and flipped you from your knees onto your back. It was quick, a move he’d pulled on you so many times you barely even noticed until he was pushing back inside of you. 

“Oh, look at you,” he said from above you. 

Now that you could see him, you could appreciate his rosy cheeks, the way his hair stuck to his temples, and the subtle way his shoulder muscles contracted each time he moved inside you. Holding himself up with one arm, he trailed his free hand down the side of your face and brushed his thumb over your lip. 

“You’re ready to feed, aren’t you, baby? So fucking needy. You think you deserve it?” The pad of his thumb slipped inside of your mouth, daring to trace over the shape of one of your fangs. 

All you could do was nod, the ability to actually speak coherent words completely lost on you at the moment. 

You waited, as patiently as you could while he was driving you insane, for Baekhyun to make the first move. You never reached for his arm first, never lunged for his neck or his shoulder, simply because you wanted him to have that control. 

Baekhyun leaned down, his lips trailing kisses from your chin up to your jaw, until he nipped at your earlobe. “Go ahead, pretty. Take what you want.” 

The next time he filled you completely with his cock, you finally sunk your teeth into Baekhyun’s neck, that same spot that you had claimed as your own already. You whimpered as his blood filled your mouth, sliding down your throat. 

You reveled in the way he tasted and the sinful way he inhaled sharply at the initial bite before he let out a long, blissful moan. Your body was on fire now, so consumed in Baekhyun and the way he felt buried this deep inside of your heat. It was like you were invincible. 

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled him into you easily. It was different when you fed from him like this. You had to be careful, control yourself so that you didn’t hurt him too badly, but it tasted so damn good. 

Before you could get carried away, you forced yourself to pull back, licking any remnants of his blood from your lips. Even though you were no longer feeding, you felt the effects of his blood rushing through your body already. 

It was electric and overwhelming in the best possible way, heightened even more so by the way Baekhyun fit inside of you and stretched you so perfectly. The entire room had brightened around you as if somebody had switched on a light. 

When you were finally able to focus on the man above you, you were pleased to find that he looked just as fucked out as you felt. His arms shook, for a moment, maybe from the quick loss of blood or just the sheer pleasure of it all.

Taken by a moment of bravery, you used your legs hooked around his hips to roll your bodies over so that you could settle on top of him and let him rest for a moment. His wound would heal quickly—something to do with the healing properties of your saliva, according to Kyungsoo—but you knew he’d need a beat to regain his strength. 

The moment he filled you completely, you took in a shuddering breath and planted your hands on his chest. Baekhyun stared up at you, eyes filled with awe, lips parted as if he wanted to say something but just couldn’t find the words. 

“Wanna ride you,” you whispered, licking your lips once again. “I want to make you - make you feel good,” you admitted. 

Baekhyun’s hands found your thighs, pale and smooth, and dug his fingertips into your skin. Slowly, those fingertips trailed up to your hips to pull you closer, forcing you into a rocking motion atop of him. 

“Go on, then,” he breathed. “Make me feel good.” 

It occurred to you then that you’d been in this position with him only once before, and it only lasted a couple of minutes before he flipped you onto your back and took over control. This time, though, you wanted to take it until the end. You wanted him to see just a shred of the power you could have over him. 

Maybe you didn’t realize it until now, but you knew Baekhyun’s body just as well as he knew yours. 

You knew when you rolled your hips just right, he’d groan and his eyes would flutter closed as he fought not to thrust himself further inside of you. You knew his hands would start to roam, squeezing and groping at the smooth flesh of your hips and stomach. 

Not until Baekhyun had you learned to appreciate a man’s hands on you without feeling self conscious or try to cover up. Maybe because Baekhyun owed you nothing, there was no reason for him to lie to you or tell you what you wanted to hear. With his hands and his lips, he painted his honest truth on your body without saying a word. 

You started to lose yourself more and more with each roll, each circular grind of your hips on top of him, letting your needy moans fill the room along with his.

“Just like that,” Baekhyun praised, both hands holding firmly onto your waist. “Tell me, who makes you feel this good?”

You pressed your hands more firmly into his stomach and opened your eyes, only a little surprised to find him staring up at you again as if he was trying to drink in every inch of your body. 

Just when you were about to answer, Baekhyun bucked his hips up, pushing himself deeper inside of you—deep enough to make you shiver and lose any and all words that could have gone through your mind. 

“I-” you started, fighting the urge to close your eyes. With the way he was looking at you, you knew that Baekhyun wanted your eyes on him. “Y-you,” you could only whisper. 

“I said,” he said, through his teeth, surprising you as he sat up underneath of you so that your chests were flush together. “Who makes you feel like this?” 

“You, you, you,” you cried, feeling the familiar heat building in your belly and spreading down towards your thighs. “Baekhyun, oh, fuck…” 

“Mmm,” Baekhyun hummed, pleased, pulling you even closer to him. “Such a good girl. You know exactly who you belong to, don’t you? No one else can ever have you like this.” 

Even as far gone as you were, something about his words made you shiver, mind racing with all the ways he could mean those words. You’d accepted that you wanted more from him, more than a late night fuck and feed, but what if he felt the same way?

“No one.” 

Baekhyun pressed the words onto your lips. You clawed at his shoulders, not caring if you marked him, if you left scratches to match the mysterious half-healed slashes across his torso. You wanted him to belong to you, too, if only in one way. 

The kiss sent you closer to your high as your thoughts got the best of you, imagining what your life might be like if you could belong to each other. 

Maybe you could wake up next to him someday, help him with breakfast by frying the bacon while he mixed pancake batter. Or you could fall asleep curled up into his side, hand pressed to his chest, counting his heartbeats. 

“Close,” you whispered. “I’m so close.” 

“Me too, baby. Me too.” Baekyun pulled back first from the kiss, one hand in your hair and the other helping you keep your pace, gripped possessively around your hip.

When you finally tumbled over the edge, you could only speak incoherent mumbles and whispers of pleasure into the crook of his neck as your body bowed forward into him. 

Fireworks exploded behind your vision with your climax, a feeling you should have been used to by now, but you still found yourself practically blacking out every time. It was stronger, more powerful since you became a vampire. Like every cell of your body was exploding and putting itself back together again. 

“I got you, pretty, I’m here,” you heard Baekhyun whisper as he thrust into you from below, fucking you through the intense waves of your orgasm. 

The feeling returned to your fingertips what felt like an hour later, even though it was probably only a minute or two, and you found yourself able to open your eyes. You blinked a few times to let your eyes refocus, taking in the sight of Baekhyun so close to you, so close to his peak. 

“Baekhyun, I can’t-” you gasped, willing your trembling thighs to move so you could resume your movements on top of him. It was no use—you just didn’t have the strength. 

Baekhyun moved quickly, easily flipping your positions so that he was above you once more. He remained on his knees, grabbing one of your pillows to shove under your lower back. From this angle, he could wrap your legs around his waist and grind into you at the perfect angle. 

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned, hands scrambling to clutch the sheets underneath of you. All you could do was watch him, devour him with your eyes the same way you had devoured him with your mouth. 

From the moment you met him, you’d thought he was beautiful. It always struck you as unfair that he appeared to be without flaws, as if you had dreamed him up. He just simply couldn’t be real. And if he was real, it was a miracle he wanted anything to do with you. 

“You’re so fucking tight,” Baekhyun said through gritted teeth. He was losing control, moving closer and closer to the edge with each deep thrust.

Your fingers squeezed and tugged at the sheets beneath your hands, the only thing you had the physical strength left to do. “Please,” you whined. “I wanna feel you come inside me.”

It didn’t take much longer, only a few more perfect rolls of his hips before he came with a loud, shuddering groan. You felt him spill inside of you, liquid heat that felt like it was never ending. This was your favorite part. It was the closest you could ever feel to him, surrounded in every way. 

Once he had come down, Baekhyun fell forward on top of you, catching himself on his forearms. He breathed deep and heavy, face buried between your neck and your shoulder. You found yourself stroking his back, tracing words into his skin that you couldn’t say out loud. 

When he finally rolled off of you, he didn’t go far, just flopped onto his side next to you. Your breath caught in your throat when he pulled you closer, one arm around your back and the other grazing your shoulder. 

Outside the window, you heard the morning birds begin their chirping. It was easier to focus on their melody than just how close Baekhyun was. Close enough to hear his pulse, quick and strong. 

“You okay?” he asked, nose nudging your jaw. “You get enough?” 

You swallowed, suddenly remembering the whole reason Baekhyun had come over in the first place. Because you both had an itch that needed to be scratched—nothing more. 

“Yeah,” you replied weakly. “I got enough.” 

But he didn’t move, just let his lips rest softly against your neck. It had never been like this before. Soft, quiet, sweet. 

“Why do you only let me feed from you?” you found yourself asking, hand on his chest gently pushing him back. “Why me?” 

Baekhyun’s eyebrows pushed together in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean,” you sighed, sitting up and pushing your hair out of your face. “All your feeding marks are from me. I’m the only one, right?” 

Leaning up onto his elbows, Baekhyun could only shrug as if you’d asked him if he liked sugar in his coffee. “Yeah.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I like you,” Baekhyun offered. As if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

You blinked. Had you heard him wrong? Did he mean it… like that? 

“You like me,” you repeated. 

Baekhyun had the nerve to laugh, just a light, airy chuckle. “That’s what I said. Why am I the only one you feed from?” 

Gulping, you tore your eyes away from him and shook your head. You wanted to deny it—but you both knew it was true. You’d never told him as much, but you wouldn’t be so desperate for him if you could easily get it somewhere else. Correction: you could have, you just didn’t want to.

“Because I like you.” 

When you looked back at Baekhyun, he was grinning, the light catching on the glitter still smeared across his cheeks. He pushed himself to sit up, reaching for your hands. He tugged you closer to him. 

“Yeah? You sure you don’t just like my delicious, mouthwatering blood?” 

You scoffed and shook your head, feeling a smile tug at your lips. “It’s not that delicious.” 

Baekhyun laughed again, and this time you had to join him. It felt like it was too good to be true, him wanting you the way you wanted him. You wanted to pinch yourself, just to make sure you hadn’t blacked out and imagined this whole conversation. 

“Since that’s settled,” Baekhyun said, fingers grazing up your arm, your throat, until he was lifting your chin. You saw his affection for you in his eyes, so obvious it made you wonder if you’d been missing it all along. 

When his lips touched yours, it was a kiss unlike any other you’d shared with him before. Deep and slow, like you had all the time in the world. You sighed into his mouth, letting his lips quiet every worry you had racing through your brain. 

“Stay the night,” you said softly once you parted from him. 

Baekhyun smirked, pressing his forehead into yours. “It’s already morning.” 

You glanced at the window, noting the soft glow of the sunrise behind your curtains. “Oh. Never-”

“I’m kidding,” he cut you off, stroking his fingertips across your cheek. “Only if you promise to cook breakfast for me when we wake up. You do eat, right?”

“Yes,” you said with a laugh. “I eat. I don’t need to, but I love food too much not to.” 

“That’s my girl,” he replied in a low tone, giving you goosebumps. 

In order to keep yourself from jumping his bones, you pulled from him and climbed off the bed, searching for the comforter Baekhyun had thrown off the mattress when you’d first laid down. Once you found it, you settled on top of the sheets with him, pulling the blanket over top of your bodies. 

Your memories from before you turned were a blur. Some things you could remember, but it was like they’d happened to somebody else. You knew you’d had a series of unsatisfying one night stands, a couple of boyfriends, and a handful of crushes. You remembered the face of the man who turned you, but not his name or how it happened. A blessing, Kyungsoo told you. 

And although you couldn’t remember the faces of any of your past lovers, you knew without a doubt in your mind that you would never forget Baekhyun. 

You realized as he brought you into his arms that he didn’t just make you feel human, he made you feel like the girl you’d been before.