#why is my website not showing up on google search

[toytulini]

im willing to believe yellowjackets is a good show but im not sure im willing to forgive it for that title which makes me have to specify "yellowjacket BUG" if i want to see the actual bees

[zooophagous]

So why do you hate the advertising industry?

Hokay so.

Let me preface this with some personal history. It's not relevant to the sins of the advertising industry perse but it illustrates how I started to grow to hate it.

I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up, but to be a vet you basically have to be good enough to get into medical school. I do not have the math chops or discipline to make it in medical school. I went into art instead, and in a desperate attempt to find some commercial viability that didn't involve moving to California, I went into graphic design.

I've been a graphic designer for about seven or eight years now and I've worn a lot of hats. One of them was working in a print shop. Now, the print shop had a lot of corporate customers who had various ad campaigns. One of them was Gate City Bank, which had a bigass stack of postcards ordered every couple months to mail to their customers.

Now, paper comes from Dakota Paper, and they make their paper the usual way. Somewhere far, far from our treeless plain there is a forest of tall trees. These trees are cut down and put on big fossil fuel burning trucks and hauled to a paper mill that turns them into pulp while spewing the most fowl odors imaginable over the neighboring town and loads the pulp up with bleach to give it a nice white color.

Then the paper is put on yet another big truck and hauled off to the local paper depot, then put on another big truck and delivered to my print shop, where I turned the paper into postcards telling people to go even deeper into debt to buy a boat because it's almost summer. The inks used are a type of nasty heat sensitive plastic that is melted to the surface of the paper with heat. Then the postcards are put on yet ANOTHER truck and sent to the bank, which puts them on ANOTHER truck and finally into the hands of their customers, who open their mail and take one look at the post card and immediately discard it.

Heaps and heaps and literal hundreds of pounds of literal garbage created at the whim of the marketing team several times a year. And thats just one bank in one city.

I came to realize very quickly that graphic design was the delicate art of turning trees into junk mail.

And wouldn't you know it there are a TON of companies that basically only do junk mail. Many of them operate under the guise of a "charity," sending you pictures of suffering children or animals and begging for handouts and when they get those handouts the executives take a nice fat cut, give some small token amount to whatever cause they pay lip service to, and then put the rest of the cash right back into making more mailers. "Direct mail marketing" they call it.

Oh but maybe it's not so bad, you can advertise online after all. Now that there's decent ad blocker out there and better anti-virus ads usually don't destroy your computer anymore just by existing.

Except now when I search for the exact business I want on Google it's buried under three or four different "promoted search items" tricking me into clicking on them only to shoot themselves in the foot because I searched for the specific result I wanted for a reason and couldn't use those other websites even if I felt like it.

And now we have advertising on YouTube and on every streaming service, forcing more and more eyes onto the ad for the brand new Buick Envision that parks itself because you're too stupid to do it on your own.

Oh thats ok maybe I'll get Spotify premium and go ad free and listen to some podcasts- SIKE we have the hosts of your show doing the song and dance now. Are you depressed and paranoid from listening to my true crime podcast about murdered and mutilated teenagers? That's ok, my sponsor Better Help can keep you sane enough to stay alive and spend more money.

It's gotten so terrible that now you have content farms, huge hubs of shell companies that crank out video after video to get more and more precious clicks. Which if the videos were innocuous maybe that wouldn't be so awful except now you have cooking hacks that can actually burn your house down and craft hacks that can electrocute you being flung into your eyes at the speed of mach fuck so some slimy internet clickbait jockey doesn't need to get a real job.

It of course goes without saying that animals are also relentlessly exploited by clickbait companies that will put them in compromising situations on purpose to create a fake fishing hack video or even just straight up killing them for sport by feeding small animals to a pufferfish that rips them apart for the camera.

And all of this, ALL of this doesn't even touch how adveritising is the death of art in general. Queer topics, any kind of interesting art, any kind of sex or substance use topics are scrubbed clean and hidden at the behest of advertisers.

Sex education, a nude statue, topics such as racism or sexism or bigotry in general have tags purged or hidden from search, even life saving information about SDTs or drug use, because if someone saw that and complained then Verizon might sell fewer tablets and we can't fucking have that.

Conservative talking heads often bitch and moan that they're being censored on social media. The stupid part is, they're right! They are being censored! But it's not by a woke mob, it's by ATT and Coca Cola not wanting their adspace sharing screen time with their stupid fucking opinions.

However, they won't ever figure that out, because the talking heads they get their marching orders from like Tucker and Jones ALSO rely on the sweet milk flowing from the sponsorship teat and they aren't about to turn on their meal ticket so they have to come up with even stupider shit to say for the train to continue rolling.

I managed to rant this far without even getting into the ads I see for the beauty industry. The other day a botox ad described wrinkles as "moderate to severe crows feet" as if wrinkles are a symptom of a fucking serious disease! Like having a flaw in your skin is a medical problem that you need thousands of dollars of literal botulism toxin to fix! I was incandescent with anger.

Advertising is a polluting, censoring, anti educational and anti art industry at it's very core. It destroys human connections, suppresses human thought and makes us hate our own bodies. It ads no value, actively detracts from value, and serves no real purpose and I believe it should be almost if not entirely banned.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

There’s never just one ant

So there's a great Thai restaurant in my neighborhood called Kiin. Yesterday, I searched for their website to order some takeout. Here's the Google result.

That top result (an ad)? It's fake. It goes to https://kiinthaila.com, which is NOT the website for Kiin.

The *third* result is real: https://kiinthaiburbank.com

Fake site:

Real site:

I got duped. I placed an order with the fake site. The fake site then placed the order - in my name! -  with the real site, having marked up the prices by 15%. Kiin clearly knows they're doing this (presumably by the billing data on the credit card the fakesters use to place the order). They called me within minutes to tell me they'd cancelled the fakesters' order.

I could still come pick it up, but I'd have to pay them, and cancel the payment to the fakesters with Amex. Actually, as it turns out, I have to cancel TWO payments, because the fakesters DOUBLE-charged me.

Here's what that charge looks like on my Amex bill. See that phone number? (415) 639-9034 is the number for Wix, who provides the scammers' website.

How the actual FUCK did these obvious scammers get an Amex merchant account in the name of "KIINTHAILA" by after supplying the phone number for a website hosting company? What is Amex's KYC procedure? Do they even call the phone number?

And why the actual FUCK is Google Ads accepting these scam artists' ads for a business that they already have a knowledge box for?! Google KNOWS what the real KIIN restaurant is, and yet they are accepting payment to put a fake KIIN listing two slots ABOVE the real one.

To be fair to these scammer asshole ripoff creeps who are trying to steal from my local mom-and-pop, single location Thai eatery, they're just following in the shoes of Doordash and Uber Eats, who did the same thing to hundreds (thousands?) of restaurants during lockdown.

Doug Rushkoff says that the ethic of today's "entrepreneur" is to “Go Meta” - don't provide a product or a service, simply find a way to be a predatory squatter on a chokepoint between people who do useful things and people who use those things.

These parasites have turned themselves into landlords of someone else's home, collecting rent on a property they don't own and have no connection to.

There's NEVER just one ant. I guaran-fucking-tee you that these same creeps have 1,000 other fake Wix websites with 1,000 fake Amex merchant accounts for 1,000 REAL businesses, and that Google has sold them ads for every one of them. Amex and Google and Wix should be able to spot these creeps FROM ORBIT. Holy shit do we live in the worst of all possible timelines. We have these monopolist megacorps that spy on and control everything we do, wielding the most arbitrary and high-handed authority.

And yet they do NOT ONE FUCKING THING to prevent these petty scammers from using their infra as force-multipliers to let them steal from every hungry person patronizing every local restaurant.

I mean, what's the point of letting these robber-barons run the entire show if they're not even COMPETENT?

ETA: Dinner was delicious

[3hks]

How to Get Better at Writing Without Actually Writing

Are you looking to improve your writing without needing to write? I'll admit, I am definitely that kind of person--I have the hardest time even finding something interesting to write--despite that, I have noticed that my writing has vastly improved over the past year or two when it was hardly a hobby, and here's how I did it!

ANALYZE DIFFERENT WORKS

Yes yes, everyone tells you to READ, READ, and READ, even I will agree. However, unlike what some people tell you, you don't actually have to read all those classics like Heart of Darkness or The Hobbit. Of course, those books are very beneficial, but if you find no interest in those types of books (like me), then don't read them!

If you prefer reading casual stories posted by online authors, whether it be a fanfiction or their own, original story, it still qualifies as reading! As long as you are able to find a work that you particularly enjoy, that's all you need!

When reading, the key to improving at writing is to always study the story. Take a moment to look at certain words or phrases that stick out to you. How does the author use them? What do they mean? Keep track of the characters' development and how it affects them. Additionally, note things like powerful scenes, dialogue, and more to have an idea of how you can create something just as impactful. For example, if a text made you cry, think about how and why you reacted like that. This can actually help you re-create events that hold the same effectiveness, if not more!

To add on, if you really dislike reading just that much, then you can always analyze things like shows, movies, etc. However, this will prove to be less efficient because you often don't get access to the text behind the shows. Still, it's a good way to study the plot, characters, character developments, dialogue, and relationships!

2. PROOFREADING

No, I'm not saying that you should be an editor; this actually ties back to my first tip. Remember how I said that if you don't want to read classics, then don't? Well, this is because forcing yourself to read them is completely unnecessary (unless you like them or want to write like the author, of course). As a matter of fact, reading poorly written stories can be very helpful for improvement!

When we read books or novels that have obvious grammar errors, repetitive words, and choppy sentences, we will realize these mistakes and point them out to ourselves. Being able to scout out faults means that we are able to learn from them and grow! Noticing these things will also help prevent you from making the same or similar mistakes!

3. STUDY TIPS ONLINE

I used to go search up websites on Google whenever I wanted help with a certain topic. Of course, not all of the sites are reliable and/or helpful, but some point out good ideas that a couple of us just need! This can be especially useful regarding the things that we are unfamiliar with when writing. They can offer a base foundation and tips on how to start and finish!

They can also serve as a great inspiration for fresh ideas and new perspectives!

Yes, these three tips are pretty simple; however, I have found that they work very well for me! People vary from person-to-person, so it can't be guaranteed the same effect, but this is the best I got! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! <3

Happy writing~

3hks :)

[reidrum]

surprise songs | s.r.

A/N: okay listen i am not a fan of unrealistic professions for reader who’s dating reid, BUT i just totally know penelope is one to hyper analyze every surprise song and definitely has theories for when rep tv is coming. it’s canon idk. enjoy this silly little thing it’s just for funsies <3 (not proofread im lazy)

spencer reid x popstar!reader

cw: literally none, reader is basically taylor swift for convenience purposes, angry penelope?

summary: garcia yells at reid because you sang sad songs on tour, how could you do that reid

wc: 0.5k

——————————————————————————

Penelope’s heels clack through the bullpen with a vengeful mission to find a certain stupid boy genius. She walks past Derek’s desk who lets out an amused whistle and turns his chair to watch her wreak her wrath.

Hell hath no fury like a Penelope scorned.

“What the hell did you do?” She exclaims, lightly smacking the back of Spencer’s head.

Spencer reacts in shock, “Hey! What was that for?” He tries to rack his brain for what Penelope could be upset about. Did he miss her birthday? An event?

She pulls out her phone and shows the screen to Spencer, who leans closer and strains to read it.

[“SURPRISE PIANO SONG N1 WEMBLEY: Teardrops On My Guitar/The Last Time!”]

Oh.

You and Spencer had been dating for a year now, a little before you embarked on your world tour. Every night you would perform a few acoustic songs that differed each show, and some fans liked to read into the diabolical combinations you’d come up with.

“Garcia, I didn’t do anything!”

“Then why, would she sing those together! Do you not understand how insane those choices are? Together?! You obviously did something to make her do that, and as the only person close enough to you to do something it’s my job to reprimand you.” She huffs.

Spencer chuckled to himself, he knew Penelope was a huge fan of his girlfriend but he found it amusing that she was analyzing their relationship from song choices.

She playfully thwacks his forehead again. Spencer shouts, “Maybe she just wanted to sing sad songs, I don’t know!”

“Bullshit, Reid.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

He held his hands up in mock surrender, “Do you want me to ask her?”

“Oh my god, no! You dummy, don’t do that. I don’t want her to think I’m like, a crazy fan or something.”

Derek snorts from the back of the bullpen, Spencer shakes his head, “Okay, would you prefer I sit in a corner and think about my actions?”

“Actually, yes that would be nice.”

He raises his eyebrows in amusement and stands up, walking to an unoccupied corner of the bullpen and sits down, looking back at Garcia with a faux sad look on his face, “This good?”

Penelope nods triumphantly and clacks back to her cave. Spencer laughs to himself as he pulls his phone out, opening up a flower delivery website.

It can’t hurt to cover his bases, right?

The next day Spencer gets a text from you,

Thank you for the flowers, my love. They’re almost as pretty as you. Can’t wait to see you soon, love you :)

He smiles and replies lovingly to you, and sets his phone back down to finish the rest of his work.

Later that day Penelope comes back into the bullpen to deliver something to Hotch, and passes Spencer’s desk, and before he has time to brace for impact she gives him a cautionary smile, “You did good, but you’re still on thin ice, Reid. “

Happily confused, Reid pulls out his phone again to google search what you sang today, piecing together the obvious reason for Penelope’s change in attitude towards him.

[SURPRISE SONG PIANO N2 WEMBLEY: This Love/Ours!]

His cheeks rise in a blush, feeling bashful and loved. He sends you another loving text with a promise to call you tonight.

Safe to say, Penelope is more than pleased with the following surprise song choices in the next shows.

[equalseleventhirds]

"I don't understand how I'm losing," Reigen said, his hands flying over his keyboard. It was so late now—too late, maybe—if only he'd used the same technique as with the Player Killer from the beginning, he might have stood a chance, but he hadn't seriously thought he'd lose—

"Shishou," Mob said, "why is this so important? You already have second place from Twitter."

Reigen laughed, not at all nervously, and splayed a hand across his forehead. "You don't understand, Mob. The publicity from something like this, even a rematch, would do wonders for Spirits and Such. This is about business."

(He would never admit to his pride being on the line.)

"And anyway, who is this guy? A radio host? I've been on TV, you know."

Mob carefully did not bring up what had actually happened when Reigen made his television debut.

Ritsu had no such qualms. "When they exposed you as a fraud? That was publicity too, right?"

"Hey—!"

Serizawa leaned over Reigen's shoulder to see the computer screen, careful not to spill the tea he placed on the desk. "Oh, Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale? It's been a while since I listened to that, maybe I should catch up."

Reigen stared at him. "You? What? Serizawa?"

"Ah... yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Back when I was... well, when I didn't leave my room much, the podcast was popular. I guess it gave a sense of... community? Feeling less alone, even when you are." He shrugged. "Plus, hearing another gay man in a show like that was comforting."

"He's gay? Canonically?" Why can't I be gay canonically?

"Sure, he got married in episode 100. It was very emotional."

"I nearly died in our chapter 100—"

-- -- -- -- --

Well, listeners, there's still a few hours left on the poll, but I'm now leading at 56%! I must say, I did not expect this, especially after Twitter users so clearly forgot—or perhaps never knew—about my Tumblr Sexyman Origins.

But, that's neither here nor there. I certainly am grateful, if a bit bemused, about all of this, but let us not forget that this is all a friendly competition. Unlike the annual War On Christmas—and let us all take a moment to remember our fallen allies against that terrible holiday foe—this is a battle of kindness. Love, even. The love we feel for Tumblr, for our favorite sexy men, for pressing a button on a meaningless internet poll. The love we feel, listeners, for each other.

And in the spirit of that love and friendliness, I figured I'd get to know my opponent a little better! A bit of googling, which of course you know means searching via every search engine but Google, what with the Town Council imposing the Google Search Tax and getting all Night Vale IP addresses shadowbanned, has led me to... oh my, listeners. I do not know who made this, but Reigen Arataka has the single most beautiful professional web page I have ever encountered. It's... words do not do it justice. I am tearing up. This... I could not make anything better myself.

A-hem. Listeners, now that I've wiped away the tears such beauty inspired in me, I can now see that Reigen's website advertises his business, one Spirits and Such Consulting. Well! We may be rivals in this moment, but I am overjoyed to learn that Reigen runs such an innovative and important business! I am nearly ashamed that, while my opponent works to make the world a better place, I, a mere community radio host, am winning the sexyman contest.

Nevertheless, we must respect the polls. Not respecting polls could get us in hot water with the Town Council, or with the demigods of numbers who lurk in the sharp edges of percentages. So since I can't hand my victory over to him, I think I'll do what I can as a community radio host, and promote Reigen Arataka's important business!

So if you're a spirit in need of counseling, a ghost in need of therapy, or an eldritch beast in need of a shoulder to cry on, head on over to Seasoning City and pay our good friend Reigen a visit! I'm sure he'll be pleased as anything to see you.

[garutime]

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Idol! Zhong Chenle x Idol! Fem reader

Aclarations: A stage name for the female character "Hiro" will be used at one point.

Sipnosis: Through a simple interaction, they ended up in a Deep Fake porn video

Warning +18!: Mention of pornographic sites, mention of Deep Fake (Porn video site where they use the face of famous people to put in already existing sexual videos), video without consent, everything is based on a video, nicknames (Slut, whore, useless, bitch, desperate), reader called Chenle "dog", medium humiliation, medium denigration, blows (Pussy, ass), anal and vaginal penetration, cum inside, mention of squirt, unprotected sex, F oral, rough treatment, rough, dom Chenle

Words: 3.1k

Note: I'm using google translator so all the blame on him

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Life as an idol is difficult, perhaps too tiring to the point that made her question why she chose that path; She liked to sing, not so much to dance, she could have chosen another job that involved singing without being on stage daily, it had been a long week in Korea, between the shows and about two awards they managed to bring the hard devastated week to an end.

She was not going to take into account that instead of sleeping, she spent her time on her cell phone and did not sleep at all, that is why the week seemed so long to her, she needed some time to enjoy. She had finally arrived home and did not do much, she put food in her pets' bowl and went upstairs to go to bed, even though her body weighed from tiredness she lay on her side and grabbed her cell phone to be able to scroll on Twitter, after having uploaded some stories to Instagram and thanked for the award but now, it was her time to rest.

Her Twitter was based on fights; She was quite entertained by how people fought on a social network and from his private account it was easy to see everything, from how his own fandom fought with others to the silly fights of who was better; They were funny to read one day when he was tired so he scrolled through the social network reading until he found a tweet that caught his attention.

"Zhong Chenle of Nct Dream and Hiro of Push have interaction"

Below that little informative text from a fan account there was a video of the two of them a few days ago at the awards ceremony, just as they were walking they had collided and when they looked at each other, they bowed to apologize, their hands raised in a greeting from a distance and then each went their own way, she didn't think it was strange or see romance in it but it seemed like the fans were going crazy, commenting about how they made a cute couple, that they confirm, my parents and many other things that she didn't understand and didn't want to understand.

It was mere curiosity when she saw the "#Hiche" in that post, assuming it was the ship between the two of them and that she ignored how badly their names were put together to just click, opening herself to the sick mind of the fans seeing edits, some that seemed real and others that did seem fake, it was obviously all too fake since the most she had of Chenle was his cell phone number and they didn't even talk, she couldn't open her mouth in surprise with each thing she saw until she searched too much, going too far down to a particular tweet that made her frown.

"Nct Dream's Chenle fucking Push's Hiro, Deep Fake"

Below that tweet there was a link to the site's official website, she knew that Deep Fake was a pornographic site where you found a lot of sexual or racy videos where the person's face was changed to that of a famous person, the idea of her being there made her cheeks burn with shame, mainly because there would be a lot of people who wanted to see her that way and who had the time to do something as depraved as that, she felt a small knot in her stomach as she settled face down on her bed, her legs moving anxiously at the new information.

She knew she wouldn't lose anything by clicking on the link so she entered the video, it was all fake and even on the page itself they warned her, the cover of the video was the interaction between them, that moment where they were looking at each other and moving their hands which made her frown, she had expected something more as a cover; A teaser of the video but nothing, which made his finger shake as he clicked on the video, starting a video of just 3 minutes.

— Shit... — She mumbled under my breath as soon as the video started, my eyes opening wide as I clearly saw his face there.

She thought it would look faker but in the video, there she was lying on the bed with her legs open, the girl's physique was almost identical to hers and her face was perfectly placed on that of the girl, the man's hands ran over her thighs while he looked at her soaked panties until the man left a kiss on her knee, showing himself as Chenle and yes, the image and situation seemed real while everything was happening which made her eyes open and stay quiet, she was too focused.

The man's hands kneaded the soft thighs while he kept his gaze fixed on the girl on the bed as if they were intimate, as if it were a romantic moment but it all ended when Chenle open-palmed the girl's poor pussy that made her moan and throw her head back while her hips rose at the blow that wasn't even direct because her panties were in the middle of the game.

— You're embarrassing — The man's voice was identical to Chenle's, generated by AI surely while speaking in Chinese which made it more exciting.

The palm fell back on the girl's pussy making her moan as her legs opened even more, three of the man's fingers began to give soft but beautiful blows against the girl's clitoris, giving stronger and softer blows against the sensitive bud making the girl under him writhe in search of more contact, in search of more than those little blows that made every fiber of her body tremble.

— You're being desperate, you look like a whore — Chenle's tone came out strong, almost as if he were scolding her but the underlying nuance of provocation was undeniable.

— Chenle... — The girl moaned lowly as she shifted in bed, seeking more contact from the man who seemed to refuse to give it to her.

— Are you going to beg now? Weren't you taught to have dignity? — He asked amused as his hands moved up to knead her thighs, his fingers digging into the soft flesh and his nails marking the skin.

Her face turned bright red when he mentioned that but she continued acting the same, like a whore just like Zhong said and he seemed to enjoy every moment of it.

— Take off those panties — He ordered and the girl quickly moved, pulling off her panties and giving them to the man.

Zhong grabbed them, instantly feeling how wet they were from his constant groping and under the woman's attentive gaze, he licked her panties, his long tongue giving them a lick so he could taste his woman's sweet taste that made him hum happily.

— You're lucky I like you — He said as he threw the panties somewhere in the room.

He didn't wait for her response or some pitiful moan as he decided to bury three of his fingers in her wet heat, he made a mocking movement when his three fingers sank so easily into that tight pussy, it was surprising how he had her dripping for him but even so, he began to give hard blows inside her vaginal cavity, his fingers entered with force only to come out and penetrate her even harder which made her almost scream in pleasure.

— Ah~!, Chenle... — She moaned in that pitiful way that he liked so much, he liked the sight of her pouty lips, silently asking him to destroy her.

And he was a weak man, weak enough to obey her silence and just deepen his thrusts with his fingers, making it easier and easier to handle the situation due to the constant fluids that wet his fingers like waterfalls but he didn't look upset, in fact, he enjoyed it as his fingers separated inside her, in a scissor shape that made her moans louder. He bent down between her legs, enough to start licking her clit like a hungry dog, he wasn't even thinking about breathing as he licked and sucked, his fingers going in and out with a need for her to cum, in him, in his mouth, on his cock.

— You're a fucking dog — The girl commented or rather critical according to Chenle who didn't like the comment.

He was the one in charge there and said nasty things to her so being compared to a dog (even though he was acting like one), made all movement stop as he pulled away from that cute pussy and pulled his fingers out, only to give her a loud smack that echoed after her moan as she writhed at the lack of pleasure.

— Hold on bitch — He ordered as he leaned down to catch her kisses in a needy kiss.

There was a scene change, the kiss scene changed to Chenle on top of Hiro, the girl's legs awkwardly on the sides of Zhong's hips while he was between her legs, their hips colliding over and over as he fucked her like a dog in heat, just like she had said. Her moans were the ones that were heard the most as her pussy was basically being destroyed, the thick and long cock buried perfectly in her pussy, hitting her walls only to pull out and hit her again with a new intensity that left her breathless to give way to a moan, her lips in a constant pout that she knew her man liked.

— Wasn't I being a fucking dog Hiro? Look at you, you're like a bitch in heat letting your man fuck you — He said mockingly, his blows didn't stop, they only increased as he let her feel it.

Chenle didn't hold her hips or legs, letting her body rise and fall like the doll she was, his hands were simply resting on her knees, not grabbing her or using her to be able to fuck her better, a place to rest his hands while his hips did all the work, each stroke was different, he never had a rhythm, never at the same time or the same intensity but always with the same desire.

— Chenle... — She moaned as she foolishly grabbed the bed rail to try and hold on.

— What? Are you going to cum already? We've not even been at it for ten minutes — He moaned through a particularly strong thrust.

Even with his complaints, knowing that she was about to cum motivated him, making him grab her hips now making her feel all of herself, his thrusts deeper while this time, he focused on hitting that sweet spot over and over again making it simply impossible for the girl beneath him to handle him, he could feel her walls tightening around him and he could only let out low moans, he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of believing that he was doing his job right.

— Chenle! — It was glorious to hear her name in the middle of her orgasm, she knew how much that turned him on.

He pulled out of her, wanting to see the show her pussy would give him as he watched her hips move in search of more, her pussy releasing a good stream from her hole that made him smile, he expected more but the simple act of making her squirt for him, of giving her a squirt was enough for him.

— You even squirted?... Shit, how long has it been since you've been fucked? — Chenle mocked but the mere sight of having made that pussy squirt made his still hardened cock get even harder.

He didn't care that she was still recovering from her orgasm, he simply got back between her legs, seeing how he was going to accommodate her now until he lifted her legs to the point that her knees were level with her head, her body stretched out and also crushed by the bigger Zhong who placed his hands on the bottom of her knees, leaving her legs motionless and pathetic for his use.

— Chenle... A lot — She moaned weakly, as if she wanted to hide how much of a slut she was.

— Come on, don't be a child; Milk me with that pussy — Chenle ordered, rolling his eyes at the complaints of his woman beneath him.

She didn't hesitate to enter again, which made him let out a low moan as he penetrated her hard and fast, stretching her body to its limits as he sought his release, his cock was throbbing but he just didn't want to release his load in that used pussy; she understood, not many wanted to use that used pussy, neither did he.

— Your face distracts me from my orgasm — He said as he grabbed her shirt, a short shirt that fit perfectly over those tits but finally, he lifted it up to her head, causing her entire face to be covered by the shirt and he could only see that little body.

His slut's moans grew louder as he fucked her, it seemed like he treated her worse; He liked it even more for what followed, watching those tits jump happily with each thrust which made him gasp, it was a good view that simply made him release all his semen inside that little pussy, he buried himself deep wanting her to take every drop of his semen like the good slut she was.

There was another change of scene, now there was no longer the view of the bed, but the view of a piece of furniture and a wall where Chenle was leaning, his penis proudly raised while being serviced by the slut who spread her legs wide so that the camera could capture her pussy full of his semen, her tongue passed all over his phallus while she looked into his eyes with that almost puppy look she always had.

— Ah, you know how to do that well, don't you? — He asked rhetorically while patting her head — How many have you sucked to be able to suck like that, right, slut?

That comment seemed to excite her because she replaced her tongue all over her mouth, putting Chenle's phallus in her mouth to move her head back and forth which made him moan, this time he couldn't hold back his moans as he moaned freely, enjoying the good work she could give but he got tired quickly, he always got tired of any attention given to him for a long time.

— Get up Hiro, with your back to me — He ordered and in a few seconds he already had the girl turning her back.

He took the time to travel the curves of her back, her waist and her plump butt that was his target, so without hesitating about his strength or her weight, he grabbed the girl by the legs and lifted her, earning a small moan as she stretched her arm back and grabbed him by the neck, she was afraid of falling but Chenle knew how to maneuver her, her back against his chest while he hugged the back of her legs, making them stick to his chest and also being wide open for the camera.

— Calm down, if you get tense it will be worse — He murmured under his breath, leaving a kiss on her cheek as he adjusted her to the height of his cock.

It was glory when he was finally able to penetrate her tight anus, his hips began to move frantically against her, making his thrusts short but fast releasing moans of pleasure from her, Chenle's grip was strong and secure, making it look like her pussy was throbbing and throbbing to be penetrated by something but he simply didn't pay attention to it, plus he couldn't while he grabbed her.

His back was leaning against the wall, a way to support himself while also holding the girl's weight, his balls swinging as his hips hit against that ass, he dedicated himself to leaving kisses on her neck while he fucked her, well, they weren't exactly kisses, but red marks that would remind her who they were from until he came in her tight ass, allowing himself to bury himself in her deep to ensure his semen.

— Chenle — She complained with a frown when he came so well in her without worrying about her orgasm.

— You're acting desperate again — He criticized her as he released her, leaving her on the floor.

But Chenle was a good man and besides he wanted to be in that ass again so he just pinned the girl against the wall, letting her balls get hard against the cold wall while he stood behind her at a small distance watching her anus throb as he released his semen, he indulged himself by slapping her lovely ass while he watched her.

— Come on, fuck me, get your orgasm — He invited her, slapping her ass again.

He didn't have to give any more orders for her to settle against the wall, her hips raised high as her ass rubbed against Chenle's cock until she finally let him in, both of them letting out a moan as she began to move on his phallus, fucking herself with Chenle's cock like a sex toy or fucking Chenle just as he had asked her to, Zhong's constant spanking generating a jolt in her ass that made him moan, he was delighted.

The girl moaned as she continued, her hips moving to let the cock go deep until her orgasm simply began to come and she became slow which made him roll his eyes as he grabbed her hips and hard, began to thrust into her, slamming her against the wall with each thrust.

— You're useless, you can't even fuck yourself — Chenle said as he reached out his hand to squeeze one of her hardened nipples.

It was enough for the slut to cum, unfortunately she didn't release the streams he was expecting but the flow did fall down her thighs in a sign of how pleased she was, he sure knew how to fuck her.

A change of scene happened, the last one where Chenle had put his cock on the girl's tits, rubbing himself over and over again while she licked the tip like a kitten until he released all his semen on her face, making her moan vaguely when the liquid wet her face, chest and breasts but she only smiled apparently pleased with being full of the man's semen.

— Good whore — He congratulated her as he buried his fingers in her mouth, letting her feel his semen.

And there the video ended, leaving her with her mouth open and her pussy shamefully soaked, it was depraved that she liked that fake video of her with the boy and also, that she would like to be treated like shit but the humidity of her panties revealed how horny she was and she could only enter the messages on her cell phone and look for the contact of the man who had fucked her so good in the video.

"I'm Hiro from Push, did you see the video?" She dared to send to Zhōng's number, hoping not to sound weird.

"Yeah, that shit is sick" Was her only response from the Chinese.

"Do you want to imitate it?" It didn't take long for that proposition to reach her that made her smile.

Of course she wanted to.

[luigraphics]

How to have animated rentry graphics with semi-transparency!!

Have you ever had this problem? You find this super pretty clipping mask that you wanna use...

...But when you try to save it as a gif, it suddenly breaks the pretty blurring?

So, let's talk about APNG:

APNG (Animated PNG) is exactly what it sounds like: a png that can be animated, with all the benefits of our beloved png format!! Such as unlimited colours!! Bet you didn't know this could be done!

Actually, you probably didn't know that for a good reason: APNG does not work everywhere. For example, I&'m not using it in this post because the animation won't work on Tumblr. It also doesn't work on old browsers, which you can check here if yours supports it or not:

However, even if the animation doesn't work, it will show the first frame as a still image!! So even those on older devices will still get to enjoy the graphic!!! (unless like... you want to do a fade-into-existence animation where the first frame will have nothing... but those are uncommon anyway)

But for this post, what's important is where it DOES work, and that is image hosting websites like imgur or catbox. And so, by extension, it will also work on Rentry + its forks!!

So how does one actually make an APNG?

Ezgif:

Note: DO NOT CONVERT GIFS TO APNG! It's useless because the gif file does not store any information about transparency, has less colours/lower quality, and you'll be needlessly removing backwards compatibility.

Go to APNG Maker and upload your frames individually. Check "don't stack frames" and make your APNG.

Photopea:

Works normally same as if you would save a gif. File -> Export as -> PNG. (You do need to have the frames layers in a folder same as you would for a gif)

Photoshop and Ibis Paint:

Unfortunately, Photoshop and Ibis do not let you just export as an APNG like that. You'll have to save each frame individually and then import them into Ezgif or Photopea.

As you can see, it's that simple! If you'd like, you can see a rentry template I& made using this the example APNG I& was showing throughout the tutorial here. I& was not able to find who made the overlay mask in the first place but a frame version of the cherry blossoms there did show up on adobe stock when I& tried to reverse search it so all they did was fill in a circle in the middle anyway.

Lastly, I& wanted to address one more question:

Why not use WEBP and/or AVIF instead? They offer the same benefits!

Well for one, fuck Google and fuck WEBP all my& homies hate WEBP. But for two, APNG has the benefit of backward compatibility: it's older (supported by more browser versions) and if the animation doesn't work, it still shows the first frame of it. WEBP and AVIF, on the other hand, don't show up at all/show alt text.

That's all, happy APNGing!

[junekissed]

packages, boxes and bags

day eight of junkissed's svt season's greetings event

member — boyfriend!seokmin x reader genre — the sweetest and purest fluff word count — 3.1k synopsis — you’re having trouble finding the perfect gift for your boyfriend on your first christmas together. maybe his friends can help. warnings — a little cursing, reader is called seokmin's girlfriend, pet names (baby, honey), they are so damn cute it hurts, when can i have my own seokmin god please i'm begging notes — lowercase intended. i apologize this is late but i was busy the past couple days and i also didn't have much inspo for this. so imagine my surprise when today i sit down at my laptop and boom three thousand words just. appear. but i am so happy with how this turned out and i hope you will be too. i must warn you all this is disgustingly sweet and precious and i definitely screamed into my pillow more than once while writing this. i hope you enjoy :) p.s. i promise this isn't an ad for kay jewelers— blame @duhnova for that

one reblog = one (almost) engagement ring

you shut your laptop closed and groan, putting your head in your hands. this was never going to work.

you’ve spent the better part of your day off on websites like amazon, macy’s, even walmart, trying to find the perfect gift for seokmin.

despite being together almost seven months now, it’s the first time you’ll be spending christmas together. and… you have absolutely no idea what to get him.

first you thought about getting him some little gadget for his computer at work, maybe a new keyboard or a cute new mouse pad. but then you remembered how he told you in passing the other day how he couldn’t stand how his job had him hunched over his computer all day, and he was thinking about looking for a new one where he wouldn’t have to be on it so much.

then you thought you might get him a nice framed picture of the two of you, something small to keep in his apartment for when you’re not there. but when you came over last weekend, the first thing he did was show you the digital photo frame he found in his closet that his mom got him for his birthday that he’d forgotten about. he was stoked to “finally be able to put it to good use” and had programmed it with dozens of pictures of the two of you.

you’d tried google. you’d looked at every gift-giving website under the sun. you’d even asked your best friend what she was getting for her boyfriend for christmas to see if it might spark an idea. 

but everything you come across is either something he already has, something he doesn’t need, or something he could easily get on his own.

so… you were stuck. thoroughly and completely stuck.

meanwhile, unbeknownst to you, seokmin is currently on the other side of town, running through the mall in a panic, trying to figure out what to get you.

he knows he shouldn’t have waited until three days before christmas to get his holiday shopping done, but he’s been busy– there’s a huge promotion up at his job, and he’s doing everything he can to get it. not only would it mean less sitting at his desk all day and more moving around, it would also mean a big raise, so you can finally move in together like you both have been wanting to. now that would be a perfect christmas present if he gets the position, but he won’t find out if he has or not until the new year, so that rules that out. 

it’s your first christmas together, so he really wants to go all out. winter is his favorite season, and now he gets to spend it with his favorite person, so why wouldn’t he make it something extravagant? except… he can’t find anything to get you.

so here he is at the mall downtown, ducking into every store and searching for something, anything that might give him an idea of a gift you might like.

he doesn’t wanna buy you clothes, because that’s lame, and also because he doesn’t wanna get something that’s not guaranteed you’ll like. what if you think the fabric is too itchy, or you don’t like the pattern? returning or even exchanging his gift would mean a big failure.

he doesn’t wanna buy you the trinkets he found at that one gift shop, because even though they are cute, they’re not special enough to get for you. these are the type of things he’d pick up for you on his way home from work as an everyday treat, or at the very most, a stocking stuffer; you deserve more than some cheap little thing he found on a whim.

he thought about getting you a new purse, because you said you’ve been needing one since the strap on your current one broke, but he’s pretty sure you already bought yourself one when your boss gave you an amazon gift card as a thank-you for all the overtime you’ve been doing lately.

it seems like everything he thinks of to get you is a dumb idea. so now he’s stuck. thoroughly and completely stuck.

you sigh, pulling out your phone and scrolling through your gallery, praying that one of the photos is hiding some kind of sign that’ll tell you exactly what to buy him. but as expected, there’s no magic word or wish list or qr code that leads to the perfect gift.

you’re just about to give up and call him and just ask him what he wants, when an idea hits you. calling him would be admitting to him you can’t think of something special to give him, but calling his friends… now that, that might get you somewhere. they’ve known him for way longer than you have, they must have some idea of things he likes or might want.

you quickly dial the number of his friend minghao. you’ve only met him a few times at some get-togethers, but he seems like the most responsible out of his group, and the most likely to give you a helpful answer.

he picks up on the first ring, but the voice that answers… isn’t minghao?

“hello seokmin’s girlfriend! this is minghao’s phone, how can i help you!”

“junhui, i told you to stop touching my phone!” you hear a voice in the background that you guess is minghao.

“fi-ine,” the first voice—junhui?—grumbles, and you hear a shuffling noise as you assume the phone is being passed back to its owner.

minghao sighs. “hi. sorry about him. what’s up?”

you try not to laugh at the phone mix-up. “just, uh, have a question for you.”

“mhm?” he prods.

“has… seok mentioned anything he wants for christmas? or, like, is there anything you know he needs?” you ask, hoping it sounds nonchalant.

he hums. “mm, not really. are you trying to come up with a christmas gift for him?”

you whine. “yeah. but i’ve tried everything, i can’t think of a single good thing to give him.”

minghao pauses. “he’s really sentimental, but you probably already figured that out by now. the best i can suggest is something homemade, or something related to some kind of memory you have together. he’d like that.”

you freeze. “i… i think i’ve got an idea,” you say jumping up from your chair. “you’re the best, minghao, i owe you big time for this.”

“don’t worry about it. merry christmas.”

you hang up the phone and open your laptop again. this just might work.

you hadn’t planned on spending this much on seokmin’s present, but why not go all out? sure, you’ll have to cut back on your morning coffee for a couple weeks, but it’ll be worth it to see the look on his face on christmas morning.

at the same time, across town seokmin’s just walking out of the jewelry store, a shiny velvet box tucked into his jacket pocket. it’s a lot more than he wanted to pay for it, but it’s better than showing up empty-handed. besides, if that promotion comes through like he hopes, he’ll pay it off in no time. it might have cost a small fortune, but he just knows it’ll look so pretty on you. he can’t wait to see you wear it.

christmas eve finally rolls around and you’re standing outside the door to seokmin’s apartment, your arms full of bags for the weekend you’re spending with him.

his entire face lights up the second he opens the door, and he squeezes you in a tight hug before giving you a soft kiss. “hi baby,” he says, almost shyly. “merry christmas.”

he grabs the bags from you to carry them inside, and you give him another kiss. “merry christmas.”

he takes your things back to his room to set them down, then comes back out into the living room, wrapping his arms around you again. “i’m so glad you get to be here,” he says quietly.

“mm. me too.”

the room is quiet, besides the faint honking of cars outside. you snuggle up on the couch together, picking out a movie to watch, the dim lights casting a soft glow around the apartment.

“do you wanna open your present now?” he asks when the screen turns black and the credits slowly roll past.

“seok, you have to wait until christmas! we can’t open all our presents tonight!” you giggle, and he pouts.

“please?” he says, looking up at you with those big, pleading eyes you adore so much. 

“fine,” you concede. “but only one! or else we won’t have anything to open in the morning.”

he grins and gets down on the floor beside the couch, crawling over to the tree to grab a small wrapped box nestled into the bottom branches. he comes back over and sits at the base of the couch, putting one knee up as he hands you the box.

he grins up at you as you tear open the wrapping paper, revealing the soft velvet jewelry box.

you look down at him, and he nods eagerly, motioning for you to open it. you hesitate. it definitely looks expensive, way more than you would’ve wanted him to spend on you. but you did pay almost $300 renting the place for his gift, so you write it off as being even.

you delicately pry the box open with your fingernail, revealing a breathtaking ring absolutely covered in diamonds and intricate silver gilding. it gleams even in the low light, sitting in its little velvet box, staring up at you.

you gasp, throwing your hand over your mouth. “seokmin, what the fuck is this!?”

his smile instantly drops, the color draining from his cheeks. “do you not like it? i can probably still return it, i have the receipt–”

“no!” you shout, and he jumps, eyes wide. “no,” you repeat, calmer this time. “no, i love it. it’s gorgeous. i just– i thought we were doing… small presents first?” you stutter, still in shock at the beautiful piece of jewelry in your shaking hands.

he blushes. “i… wanted you to wear it now,” he murmurs.

you study him, and suddenly you realize he’s still down on the carpet on one knee. and everything finally clicks.

you scream as you jump up from the couch. “seokmin, you’re not proposing, are you?” you gasp.

“no?” he stammers, confused why you’d think he is, before realizing himself that he looks… well, he definitely looks like he’s proposing.

he hurriedly puts his knee down, sitting flat on the carpet. “i’m not! i’m not. this is just a really nice ring, i swear,” he rushes to explain. “at least, not yet,” he mumbles under his breath, but you don’t hear him. you’re still focused on the fact that there’s more diamonds in this ring than you can count on one hand.

you’re still standing in front of him, mouth hanging open, and he’s starting to get worried because you haven’t said a word in a few minutes. “do you want me to propose?” he asks hesitantly. because, screw it, he’s already got the nice ring; if you’re ready, then he’s ready, might as well—

“no! i mean, yes, i do, i really do, but not right now, i…” you trail off, not sure how to continue.

the room is silent, both of you staring at each other. after a minute he stands up, taking his seat back on the couch. “oh no,” he says, finally breaking the silence with a groan. “i ruined this, didn’t i?”

“no,” you sigh, having recovered enough from the shock to sit next to him again. “no, of course not. i’m just… surprised. i wasn’t expecting this. it must’ve cost a fortune.”

“it’s rude to ask someone the price of a gift, you know,” he says, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“trust me, i’m not asking,” you laugh. “i don’t even wanna know.”

“can… can i put it on you?” he asks, his voice getting soft again.

you look at him, and then at the glittering diamond ring in his hand, and you can’t not accept it. you nod, letting out a quiet “mhm” in agreement.

your eyes start to water as he slides it onto your finger, and he looks up worriedly when you sniffle. “it’s so pretty, oh my god,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him.

“please don’t cry,” he says softly, and he looks so upset that you have to reassure him you’re not mad and you just really, really like your gift. 

you admire how it looks on your finger for a second before you scoot closer to him and wrap your arms around him.

“i love it, baby,” you murmur. “you really didn’t have to do this.”

he hums. “but i wanted to. i wanted to show you how much i love you.”

tears well up in your eyes again, and you bury your face in his neck to hide them. “you already show me. every single day.”

he sighs, a happy sigh, relaxing into your arms. “i’m glad you like it.”

you stay like that for a while, gently rocking back and forth on the couch, peacefully enjoying everything. the scent of his cologne wafts around you, a comforting, familiar smell, and the colorful lights of the christmas tree shine softly in the background. you wouldn’t want to spend christmas anywhere else.

you pull away a little, breaking the silence with a short laugh. “mine’s gonna look so stupid compared to yours,” you pout as you snuggle into his side, leaning your head against his shoulder.

“are you gonna make me wait until tomorrow to open it?” he asks, rubbing his hand up and down your arm.

“no,” you sigh. “it’s probably after midnight by now, anyway.” you lift yourself out of his arms, going back into his room to get his present from one of your bags.

it’s a lightweight little box, and you hand it down to him. the gift itself isn’t big in size, but you know he likes taking the wrapping off, so you put it in a box and wrapped it for him.

he waits for you to come sit beside him again, and he opens it, carefully tearing the red and green paper with a grin on his face.

he opens the box, revealing a small piece of paper. he looks back at you. “baby? what’s this?”

your cheeks heat up as you begin to explain, suddenly feeling shy about your gift. “well, i… i rented out the movie theater we went to on our first date, and i thought it would be fun to, just… spend the day there, i don’t know.” you trail off, looking down at your hands, until seokmin takes them in his own.

when you look back up at him, his smile is so wide, it almost looks like it hurts. “i love it,” he beams, his voice breaking a little. “that’s so thoughtful, honey. i really love it.”

he leans forward to squeeze you in a hug, and you can’t help but smile, too.

“this is the best christmas ever,” he sighs into your neck, holding you tightly against him. “love you so much.”

he sits back, pulling you onto his lap facing him. “do you know where i got the ring from?” he asks suddenly, locking his hands behind your lower back.

you look at him. “um, kay? it says it on the box.”

he grins. “and?”

you frown in confusion. “and… what?”

the tips of his ears turn pink. “y’know, their slogan? ‘every kiss begins with kay’? from the commercials?”

you blink at him.

he groans, rolling his head back. “can i just kiss you now, please?”

you giggle, throwing your arms around his neck and rubbing your nose against his. “fine.”

and just as he’s about to, his pocket vibrates, and he pulls out his phone.

“my… boss?” he says, confused, showing you the screen.

you whine, resting your chin on his shoulder. “what does he want that can’t wait? it’s one in the morning on christmas eve– well, technically christmas morning, now.”

he looks at you with pleading eyes, and you sigh. “you can answer it. quickly, though, please?”

he presses a kiss to your cheek in thanks before sliding the button to accept the call, holding the phone up to his other ear. “hello?”

you can’t hear what’s being said on the other line, so you close your eyes, worn out from the night’s big surprises. you have a lot to do tomorrow—today—and you’ll need sleep if you want to spend the whole day with him like you want to.

seokmin sits up suddenly, startling you. you lean back, looking at him, wordlessly asking if something’s wrong. but he’s beaming, his smile so bright you’d think he’d just been told he won the lottery, and you crease your eyebrows in confusion.

he stays on the phone for another minute, listening intently. “thank you so much. merry christmas,” he says finally, then hangs up, tossing his phone to the other end of the couch.

“what? what is it?” you ask, still concerned despite his giddy expression.

he settles back, his hands sliding to your waist and holding you up on his lap. “i just got some news,” he says, and you know he’s being vague on purpose to draw out the suspense.

you pout. “well, are you gonna tell me, or not!”

he giggles, unable to hold it back any longer. “i got the promotion!” he yells.

your mouth falls open. “what promotion?” you ask, tentative.

“i didn’t wanna say anything unless i was sure, but there’s been a position available at the company, and they wanted to hire someone from within,” he says excitedly. “it wasn’t guaranteed that i’d get it, but i did! i got the promotion!”

“aw, seok! i’m so proud of you, baby,” you smile, leaning down to kiss him.

he pulls away after a second, and you look at him expectantly. “i have more news,” he says with a grin.

“and?”

“and… it comes with a big raise, so we’ll finally be able to afford a place together,” he beams, rubbing his hands up and down your back.

you bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling, and feel your eyes well up with tears, spilling down your cheeks.

he calls your name softly, and you look up at him. “are you… what do you think?” he asks, his big eyes searching your watery ones.

“i– i’m just so happy,” you stammer, leaning down to hug him again. “i love you so much. this is more than i could’ve ever asked for.” you bury your face in his neck, letting your tears of joy fall onto his sweater.

“merry christmas, honey.”

taglist | @foxdaisy @tinkerbell460 @merrykyeomas @just-here-to-read-01 @ny0sang @pepperonidk @noraehey @squiishymeow @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly @tenn87 @raevyng @aceofvernons @odetoyeonjun @dkakapizzaboy @enhacolor @highkey-fangirling @baldi-2 @kcxjae @onlymingyus @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @potatofrieswithketchup @skzzooyaaa @wonuziex

join my taglist here!

thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed! if you liked this, reblog or leave an ask or a comment, it shows me you enjoyed this so i know to write more like this in the future!

[ophiespeaks]

i am, once again, crawling back to gravity falls. i’ve stayed out of the loop so i could explore thisisnotawebsitedotcom by myself, and here are some of my authentic discoveries: (I don’t know if any of these are even new, knowing the fandom you probably figured all of these out the day it dropped tbh)

-“SOOS” gives a document of how he and his gf are doing running the mystery shack, including a goat train that runs through the forest (i love them)

-“TADSTRANGE” gives an erotic bread montage, because why not

-“PINATA” gives an irl video narrated by bill of a little girl beating the shit out of a bill cipher pinata

-“EVENHISLIESARELIES” i was spoonfed this one but bill is astronomically down bad for ford and it’s literally canon??? “because winning made him feel special. and good god, did he want to feel special” bill cipher your gay is showing.

-“WADDLES” leads to a pig adoption website

-“SEASONTHREE” says season 2, “SEASONTWO” says season 1, and “SEASONONE” says season -1: anti-gravity falls.

-“PACIFICA” tells us that the northwests still keep tapestries of bill, perhaps they could/would have something to do with his return??? pacifica and a “friend” destroyed everything with bill’s triangle symbol on it though, she’s a real one.

-“PLATINUMPAZ” is a code you’re given discreetly upon entering the aforementioned “PACIFICA.” This document is written like fan fiction, but obviously it’s canon, and details pacifica’s experience following northwest mansion mystery. It’s a longer document but essentially pacifica SIKES bill cipher like the girlboss she is when he tries to make a dream deal with her.

-“PINES” just says “a good family tree” lmao

-“SIXER” case file on Ford’s hand, written by (?) someone in the us government, apparently even as far back as when the Stans were 18, the government was working on cloning, so there’s that. Also, Ford is a finger donor!

-“BLINDEYE” gives one of those eye doctor letter tests, VERY blurry. if there’s a code here my blind ass hasn’t been able to decipher it. EDIT: it’s not blurry when you first try it!!! if you click on it it becomes blurry and i no longer know what the letters are.

-“MATPAT” and “GAMETHEORY” matthew patrick i am in your walls. it’s a video of beloved internet dad, Matpat from the Theory channels, saying we’re on our own for this one. Mathew if you don’t make a retirement special when this is all over, spoon-feeding me the answers i will do something illegal. Also, one of the notes on his board seems to read “abigail northwest,” but it’s not a code you can enter, so i’m not sure what it means.

-“GRAVITYFALLS” says ‘never heard of it’, alex hirsch when i catch you alex hirsch

-“MABEL” adds stickers and stars to the screen, eventually saying ‘lab now fully mabelized’ they stay there forever even if you relog the website.

-“DIPPER” tells pine tree to stare at the page for thirteen hours. spamming it changes the note, telling dipper he’s getting closer, but eventually the whole thing blacks out.

-“STANFORD” and “FORD” brings up the same page as “SIXER”, they are one and the same after all.

-“MCGUCKET” and “FIDDLEFORD” link to Cotton Eyed Joe by Rednex

-“STANLEY” and “STAN” links to ebay listings of brass knuckles

-“BILL” links to a sesame street video from 1969, jazzy triangle meets a square square. BillFord canon??? meanwhile, “CIPHER” and “BILLCIPHER”leads to the wikipedia page for the Eye of Providence, or the eye that watches the work of mankind.

-“GIDEON” leads to a google search of sweat-resistant bolo ties

-“LOVE” opens a book called ‘the love triangle”, tapping on it starts an audiobook of the first page of this book, detailing the narrator falling in love with bill cipher in a romantic period-piece. 10/10, but too short. give me the whole book.

-“GOD” links to a video of an Axolotl swimming in front of a submerged bill cipher statue. upon entering “GOD” again, the video does not play, some of the other videos behave in the same way such as “MATPAT.”

-“BLENDIN” responds with ‘time agent lost and presumed incompetent’

-“WEIRD” plays a video of Weird Al Yankovic yelling about how he’s trapped inside of the computer, and he calls for bill to help him. imagine my shock and horror coming across this the vanilla way, by just trying codes until something happens.

-“WEIRDMAGEDDON” is a newspaper clipping that shows nothing happened yesterday, soos got his head stuck in a honey pot and promptly said ‘and i’d do it again.”

-“TOBYDETERMINED” leads to a google search of ‘restraining order’

-“ROBBIE” pulls up AIM messages between him and thomson, detailing their experience ghost hunting for bill because robbie thinks bill will have to grant them three wishes. included is a great drawing in camcorder style of them running away from an eldritch-looking bill. included, but seemingly not sent, are messages in the text box, and it seems we’re reading from thompson’s perspective. it vaguely alludes that bill may be operating inside of thompson??? erm what the sigma?

-“SKIBIDI” “RIZZ” “FORTNITE” and “GYATT” revokes ur life privileges, but “SIGMA” does nothing.

-“QUESTION” responds with ‘answer’ and vice versa.

-“SCIENTOLOGY” responds with ‘suppressive person detected,” don’t ask why i tried scientology, i was going through science-themed inputs and it came to me like a vision.

-“ALEX” and “ALEXHIRSCH” link to a google search of ‘flannel.’ alex hirsch is lumberjack???

-“JOURNAL 3” responds with ‘the journal for me.’

-“JOURNAL 2” responds with ‘the journal for you’

-“JOURNAL 1” responds with “the journal of fun”

-“SEX” “FUCK” “SHIT” and other curses gives a pop-up that says “not S&P approved, wash your mouth out with soap.”

-“WHOAREYOU” responds with ‘i could ask you the same question’

-“REALITY” responds with ‘is an illusion’

-“FBI” and “CIA” responds with ‘your webcam is on. we are watching.’

-“HOLOGRAM” responds with ‘universe’ and vice versa.

-“SCARY” gives a R.L Stine goosebumps knockoff called The Book Of Bill, with the tagline ‘can you survive the tri-strangler?’ and it seems like it should be an audiobook like the “LOVE” entry, but i can’t hear any audio.

-“THEBOOKOFBILL” responds with ‘hide it under shirt during pledge of allegiance’ ???WHAT???

-“MASON” brings up a note about anagrams, assuredly written in-part by Dipper. idk if mason is even canon i always just assumed it was tbh.

-“LIFE” responds with ‘life:72% complete. now loading death.’

-“DEATH” responds with ‘life’s goth cousin’

-“DADDY” “BABY” and “MOMMY” (listen i was trying anything that came to mind) responds with a pop-up of a baby-bill cipher in an ultrasound, and a message that says ‘congrats! guess what’s growing inside you right now? see you in nine months, papa!’ NEW SEASON IN NINE MONTHS CONFIRMED???? (/j) also— mpreg is gravity falls canon???

———

if i was alex hirsch, these are inputs i would add because i was SHOCKED they WEREN’T there:

-“4 8 15 16 23 42” inputting that into an old-style computer should yield some kind of easter egg. LOST was too big of a cultural phenomena for it to not be a secret code here.

-“CANDY” and “GRENDA.” alex you thought of skibidi but not MABELS ONLY TWO FRIENDS???

-“TWINS” seriously this is like the main thing that keeps repeating, even just linking to a wiki page would be rewarding.

-typing in cryptids should link to pages for them, at least. imagine my shock when i typed in “BIGFOOT” to no avail.

-“SEEYOUNEXTSUMMER” should’ve been an easy one tbh

-“PINETREE” “SHOOTINGSTAR” etc. could just link to the same thing as entering their respective names, like “DIPPER” and “MABEL” respectively.

-“HINT” should do something, even if it just tells you no.

-“?” having no results is bonkers

-“SANSUNDERTALE” would be really funny i think

-“THETRUTH” should respond with ‘is out there’

[taleeater]

Dangerously Stupid

Part 2

Part 1

Donatello felt he was in a daze. He had checked himself top to bottom and found no concussion (thankfully) and nothing more than a few scrapes and bruises. So that ruled out brain injury as the source for why he couldn’t focus on any of his work in the full day since. He kept getting distracted by…. You. 

Donnie has a device that picks up the signal from any cell phone or smart device he comes within 30 feet of while out on patrol, and automatically registers the information of that device into his system. This comes in handy when the need arises to erase any photos or data that may come up on these phones involving him or his brothers, and to monitor the whereabouts of any thugs or civilians they may come in close contact with. Meaning, he had your phone number, right on his screen in front of him. He knew this may seem creepy but it was for security purposes, and Leo said he always needed to monitor any civilians that got close to them for safety. That was his job. And also his job to find your current location registered on your phone in your apartment. …..And your wifi network, and your laptop currently hooked up to said wifi network. It showed you were actively using it. He wrestled with himself for a moment about respecting your privacy, but curiosity got the better of him, and he quickly took a peek at what you were currently looking at on your screen. ……It was a google search on how to give yourself stitches from home. What??? Surely you weren’t- were you scrolling through poorly drawn reference pictures on a wiki-how page?!?! You then switched to another tab and googled ‘can I use a sewing needle and thread to give myself stitches’. Donnie paled. The next search: ‘how to disinfect thread’. 

He put his face in his hands and groaned. Did you not go to the hospital last night?!?! What were you thinking? He looked back up and noticed the screen had been idle for a few minutes and he was getting really worried. He quickly hacked your laptop camera, privacy be damned- to take a look to see if you were okay. The image that was brought up was an empty chair, and in the background was a cozy warm looking apartment. But there was no movement. You hadn’t fainted out of your chair had you?! He was starting to panic when you suddenly came back into screen, moving slowly and almost falling back into your chair wearing the same pants you wore last night. You had on a small tank top with the strap down, and a bloodied white towel slung over your injured shoulder, carrying armfuls of supplies that you set down on your desk by your computer with shaking hands. You looked far more pale than you had last night.

“Alright let's see…. Next it says to soak the thread and needle in the disinfectant for about 10 minutes…. I hope the thread is long enough. Hmmm… I don’t have sterile gloves so hopefully washing my hands well is good enough…” You thought out loud to yourself. Donnie was about to smash his head on his desk from your careless words. He couldn’t take it anymore. 

“What the SHELL do you think you’re DOING?!?!” After a few quickly typed commands he was patched into your laptop’s audio and yelling into his microphone, causing you to jump- startled from where you were about to reach into the bowl of disinfectant to grab the needle after only 5 minutes. You instinctually started to lower the volume on your laptop, cursing about ads on these websites always popping up and surprising you. 

“No no no! I’m not an ad- wait a minute-” Donatello quickly typed in some more buttons and your screen froze to allow his webcam feed to pop up and take over your screen, making you gasp and almost fall out of your chair. “Stop that! You’re doing to hurt yourself- well, more than you already are. You’re going to give yourself an infection!! What were you thinking-”

“IT’S YOU!!!” You shouted in surprise, holding onto your desk so you didn’t fall. If not for the deep cut still oozing from your shoulder and the attempted robbery from last night rerunning on the 6 o’clock news, you would have assumed you had dreamed of your fated meeting with the large turtle men. After waking up in a cold sweat on your couch late that afternoon, you had instead decided to focus on giving yourself first aid. “How did you- what?” You babbled trying to figure out why the purple masked man’s face was currently lecturing you from your computer screen. A worrying wave of lightheadedness made you grip your desk tighter.

“I hacked your computer. Anyways, WHY AREN’T YOU AT THE HOSPITAL?!!!” Donnie shouted in exasperation. He barely registered the sound of his lab door opening as his shouting probably attracted the attention of one of his brothers. 

You stared at him blankly for a moment, waiting for your brain to restart and register his questions after the shock of getting to see him again. “I… I don’t have health insurance.” You said a bit bluntly, settling back into your chair heavily, and bracing your good arm against your desk as a new wave of nausea overtook you from your racing heartbeat. 

“....what was that?” Donnie quickly turned around to acknowledge Leo, who had entered the door and taken up a spot leaning against the back of Donnie’s chair watching the interaction play out. At least of all his family, his most level headed brother had come in. 

You still heard the faint question and continued. “My new job… I just moved to New York two months ago for my new job. They promised me a good starting salary and a full time position, but after only 3 weeks they started cutting back on my hours. They don’t pay benefits to part timers, so I’ve already lost access to my health insurance. ….They really screwed me over, so I’m just working for them until I find a new job. I really, really, can’t afford a hospital visit after this expensive move, so….” You gently motioned to the white towel on your shoulder, a startling spot of red starting to seep through. Leo recognized the location of the wound from last night. The two brothers felt their gut clench remembering how you had gotten it. In defense of Donnie’s life. 

You were starting to slouch more over your desk, your head spinning, and your laptop’s microphone now picking up your labored breathing. Leo could see the red flush drain from your face, and Donnie recognized the symptoms. Most likely, you were about to lose consciousness. 

“Wait wait wait, hold on stay with me.” Donnie quickly ordered you through his mic, his tone becoming more serious. He quickly typed into his keyboard, now understanding the situation a bit more, and the gravity of your condition. “Do you have any roommates, anyone staying with you right now?” With a level tone he asked you some standard questions to keep you conscious as he robotically pulled up your current address. Leo had already left the room to rally their brothers and gather the first aid kit, clearly already on the same page.

“…. no. Just me.” You said quietly, now focusing entirely too much on staying upright. You really felt like you were going to throw up now. But you were too busy wracking your dizzy brain for what his name was…. D…. Donna… Donnie…. “Donatello?” You said out loud, trying to focus.

“Yes, (y/n?)” He quickly answered as he continued to quickly type something on his keyboard, he was glancing between you and another screen at his desk every other second. You smiled. He remembered your name. “We are coming to see you. If you can, try to leave your window unlocked, and go lie down on your couch or your bed. What is your apartment number?” He was quick and clear with his orders, speaking like a true doctor, you thought blearily. But you were too out of it to question how or why he was coming over.

“Mmm… Room 517, 6th floor.” Gosh why did you ever think you could do this on your own. You suddenly felt really stupid. You were trying to take care of yourself so you wouldn’t have to rely on your family for help with medical bills, but now you were just causing problems for the kind hero you met last night. “I’m sorry Donnie… I think I’m gonna pass out.” You said apologetically, head going to rest tiredly on your table next to your computer. You could distinctly hear the sound of the city filtering in through your cracked open window behind you in the living room. Your dizzy spell gripping you much stronger than it had earlier when you had first moved to stand after sleeping all night on the couch. The next thing you hear is the rattle of plastic wheels scooting as presumably Donatello was standing from his desk.

“Don’t be sorry. We’re coming to help you now, okay? Just try to stay awake.” There was a whoop and some excited chattering in the background now and some more keys being hit from his consol. “I’ll see you soon.” Came the quick but warm reply from the purple masked turtle as his webcam feed disappeared from your laptop. 

A silence hung in the room. As if it had never happened. You shifted to look up at the screen detailing a poorly drawn cartoon image of a needle poking at the edge of a wound looking back at you, and groaned audibly. Burying your dizzy head back into your good arm for a moment, you tried to sit up to go move to the couch to wait, careful not to bump into the bowl of antiseptic holding your good sewing needle and black thread. Only moments earlier you were about to try and sew up your shoulder like you were hemming a new pair of pants, only to be caught by one of this city’s apparent mutant super heroes you had met only just last night. And now he was coming here. To help you. 

Feeling another huge wash of dizziness pass over you, almost making your knees buckle as you stumbled over to the couch, you felt a larger twinge of pain in your shoulder again. Taking a seat on the cheap couch cushion, you reached up to move the towel you had soaked in the antiseptic aside to inspect the wound. You must’ve stretched the skin when you were startled earlier, because the wound was leaking deep red again as a small trail started to escape down your arm before you could stop it. Must’ve been deeper than you thought. 

That was your last thought before you passed out, head lightly falling against the couch.

✨✨✨✨✨

“Are we almost there yet?? Ow!” Mikey called out ahead to Donnie before getting the back of his head smacked by Raphael. They were racing across rooftops making a beeline for your apartment building. Donatello, who usually gave sassy directions from the rear, was silent and serious leading the charge with Leo close behind carrying their largest portable first aid kit. 

Leo was keeping a close eye on his younger brother. When he walked by Don’s lab earlier, attracted by the shouting, he was startled to find his younger brother was talking to the person who had saved him the night before. Before he could question why, or get into his lecture about the dangers of contacting a human they only just met, he saw the look on his brother’s face. Donnie’s expression was beyond distressed. His usually level headed brother was shouting and worried because a civilian who was kind enough to step in and take a hit for him while he was down was- from what it looked like- still bleeding, almost 18 hours after the attack. And even worse from what he heard walking in, had no means of access to medical attention. He could understand Donnie’s frustration, but he was still surprised his brother had gotten this worked up.

“Hey…. Donnie,” Leo called out. “Everything alright…?” He said just low enough that it wouldn’t draw the attention of their brothers.

Donnie knew what he was getting at, so he cut right to the point. “I caught them before they could try and suture their own wound. With a sewing needle.” Donnie took a very very deep sigh. “By following a wiki-how tutorial.” Leo almost tripped off the building.

“….what?” He responded smartly. 

There was a loud snort from behind them. “Sounds badass.” Raph deadpanned and Mikey wore an expression of surprise followed by a quietly muttered ‘dude…’

Donnie groaned audibly. Thankfully your apartment building was now in sight. “I need to make sure their wound is properly disinfected before stitching it up. It’s the least I can do…” He thought back to last night. The long stare you two shared, and the concern and lack of fear you held for him in your eyes. He longed to see those eyes again… 

The building next to yours was at just the perfect height to leap across from the roof to your room’s fire escape. Leo was the first to land and give the all clear for his brothers to follow. Leo opened the window and stepped in just barely before Donnie practically toppled him over pushing past him to get inside. Snatching the first aid kit off Leo’s shoulder, Donnie quickly found your still form on the couch. 

“Right… we’ll stand guard. You’ll let us know if you need any help, okay Don?” Leo offered. Mikey pushed in through the window and made a beeline for the fridge, and Raph took a seat on the windowsill peaking in curiously.

“Yeah, Leo.” Donnie knelt quietly next to your form on the couch. All his attention was already on you.

 Leo went to stand around the living room trying to find the walls interesting while occasionally glancing at Donnie’s work, trying to stay out of the way.

Don checked you over, breath taken seeing your face again up close in the warm light of your apartment. Your breathing was deep and steady. Good. A little sweat on your brow, he looked down to see angry inflamed red skin peaking over your bare shoulder. He carefully moved the towel, stained in dried blood, and winced as the fabric pulled unstuck from the sticky bloody wound. 

You flinched, and Donnie felt his breath catch in his throat. But you did not awake, so he swallowed and signed, reaching down to open his medkit and take out a disinfecting wipe. The little damp pad unfolded and he carefully began to clean away the dried and sticky blood from around your cut so he could get a better look at the damage. There was definitely irritation but he hoped that no infection had taken hold yet. Next he disinfected his hands and pulled out his suture kit, and with practiced ease began to stitch up your shoulder. 

About 15 minutes later, and about 10 stitches into fixing you up, your eyelids fluttered open. The poking and pulling around your painfully sensitive cut had finally woken you up. You still felt dizzy and light headed, so made no sudden movements. Glancing down you saw the light reflecting off of a large polished shell. That’s right, Donnie. You still had a hard time grasping your current situation. Maybe you were in a fever dream. But there was the strangely handsome face of a mutant turtle sewing up your shoulder with his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in focus. His large goggles down over his eyes and a portable lamp light over his shoulder illuminating his work. 

You felt the poke of a new stitch and this time flinched with a little muttered “Ouch!” and suddenly you were blinded by the light hitting your face as Donnie startled and turned to face you. 

“Oh! You’re awake! Um… Sorry I’m uh… not quite done yet. I hope this is okay-” He quickly mumbled. His free hand that braced your shoulder gave an encouraging squeeze. 

You blinked a moment as your eyes adjusted to the light. He glanced back at his work and back to you and you nodded twice. 

“I need you to hold still for just a few more minutes, I’m just about finished. Okay? It’s going to sting a little.”

“...yeah. Got it.” You nodded, feeling your head quickly clear up as you felt the pinch and sting of the needle again, bracing yourself to hold still while your brows tensed from the discomfort.

You looked around your room to distract yourself from the pain. Looking across your coffee table you saw one of the other turtle mutants, the one wearing the blue bandana and caught his eyes for a moment before he quickly averted them to pretend he wasn’t staring. But after a moment he looked back at you and offered a quick nod in greeting. You supposed he might be a little shy and was trying to hide it. By your window you also caught the large cracked shell of another one. He glanced over his shoulder and met your eyes, studying you for a moment as you also took in the scar on his lips and the toothpick, before he also nodded at you with a little ‘hey’ in greeting. 

“Yo, is dudette awake? Morning sleeping beauty!” An energetic orange masked turtle man, holding a half full can of your soda, practically jumped into your line of sight, startling you a bit with a gasp. “You remember me? I’m Mik- Ouch! Leo!!” The blue masked turtle called Leo smacked him on the back of his head to quiet him with a shush.

“Mikey, I’m still working. Don’t freak them out.” Donnie quickly added, making sure you weren’t gonna move again before continuing.

“Yeah genius, your ugly mug almost made em’ pull a stitch. Save the dramatic introductions for later.” The red masked turtle sneered at Mikey. You vaguely recalled him being named ‘Raph’.

Leo, Raph, Mikey, and… “Donnie?”

You caught yourself saying out loud, making said turtle jump a little.

“Y-Yes, (y/n)?” He stuttered as he helped carefully pull you into a sitting position. The stitches were finished and it was time to wrap the wound. He reached into his bag and pulled out a package of fresh gauze.

You carefully watched him unwrap the gauze, his hands slightly shaking. “How do you know each other?” You asked him, meeting his eyes, then looking over to the others spread out in your living room.

“Brothers. We’re brothers.” Leo answered helpfully. 

“Brothers… that makes sense…” You considered how they all acted around each other and smiled warmly, looking back to meet Donnie’s eyes.

He was lifting up his goggles back to the top of his head and his eyes widened at your expression. He turned away to put his tortoiseshell glasses back in place, clearing his throat. 

“Yes, they’re… my brothers.” He tentatively smiled back at you, and began to wrap up your shoulder. 

You watched him thoughtfully for a moment, and glanced over at his brothers now quietly arguing about something over by the window. Mikey quickly looked back over at you with a bright smile before turning back to the conversation animatedly and shushing his brothers a little, earning him a smack as Raph and Leo both also shared a look with you briefly. You raised a curious brow at the antics. They were like gossiping school kids… definitely brothers.

“Hey Donnie… Sorry for causing you all trouble like this. …I didn’t want to involve anyone and thought I could handle it myself.” You said looking down. “....Thank you for coming to my rescue.” You looked up to meet his gaze and smiled at him.

“No no, this is…. It’s the least I could do. After all, I should be the one thanking you. You got this injury from coming to my rescue, I…. Thank you.” His hands stilled a moment in the midst of his wrapping and gave you a shy smile. He looked kind. 

Donnie finished the rest of the wrapping slowly, fastening the end in place carefully. 

“Um… You should change the wrapping every other day. Call me if there’s any trouble, like puffy redness around the stitches or if it starts bleeding or starts to show signs of infection-”

“Hey-” Leo suddenly cuts Donnie off, making you both look over to him where he was emerging from the group huddle. 

“How about, we come back- *ahem* Donnie, comes back again to check on you in a few days. Does… that sound good?” He asked carefully. Mikey jumping around excitedly in the background and getting a playful push from a grinning Raph. You turned with a raised eyebrow to Donatello. He was currently gawking at his older brother, glancing back between you and the blue leader. You couldn’t help but giggle a little at the antics.

“...Sure. I’d love that. If… you don’t mind, that is?” You asked the flustered purple masked mutant.

“I- I- Yes. Yes, of course. It would be my pleasure. Um. S- Next Saturday then? If you’re free?” He gathered himself and asked you kindly.

“That would be perfect.” You smiled widely, taking his hand in both of yours. “It would be nice to see you when neither of us are in danger for a change.” 

Donnie’s eyes seemed to soften as he looked at you warmly. “I would like that. Very much.” He held your hands back softly as he rose from his seat beside you. His brothers were already starting to filter out through the window, except for Mikey who was hooting and hollering quietly before getting bodily pulled through the window by his two older brothers. 

“So… next Saturday night? 9pm?”

“I’ll be here.” You responded, following him to the window. He carefully climbed out onto your balcony. He waved a final goodbye to you as he perched on the railing, and with a mighty jump, he leapt out of sight. You lunged for the railing where he just stood, looking out above you hearing whoops and cheers from the brothers as you caught a final sight of them running over the city skyline. And with a deep breath of the cool night air, you sighed in relief that you weren’t dreaming. 

Leo, Raph, Mikey, and

Donatello. You’ll have to remember that. You thought with a grin.

To the people who wanted to be updated when part 2 was released. Sorry for the long wait!! Thanks for the support!

@saspas-corner @misfortunekeep @valen-yamyam16 @genesis378

[gummy-axolotl]

What I've done so far on Thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com

I'm trying a bunch of random things, feel free to reblog and add stuff I didn't think of!!

It's super long so I'm gonna put it under a cut

List of items: Stanley, Stanford, Dipper, Mabel, Bill Cipher, McGucket, Wendy, Soos, Fillbrick, Waddles, Tad Strange, Pacifica, Triangle, Weird, Math, Toby Determined, Blind Eye, Nacho, Dorito

Stanley: brings you to the ebay page for brass knuckles

Stanford: shows this document

Dipper: I wasn't able to get screenshots, but a note from Ford saying theres a secret message in ink you can only see if you stare at the sun for 13 hours. It progresses each time you reenter "dipper," with more black spots clouding the vision until its completely dark.

Mabel: Repeatable. Adds stickers all over the room

Bill Cipher: brings up the wikipedia page for the eye of providence

Mcgucket: Brings the video for Cottoneye Joe

Wendy: come on, man...

Soos: several-page-long note about random stuff

Filbrick: computer message rading "I'm not Impressed"

Waddles: Pig adoption website!

Tad Strange: Wh....what. It was several videos of bread being sliced, accompanied by sultry saxaphone music.

Pacifica:

Triangle: Several messages only containing a closed parenthases ) and eventually this message:

Weird: A video message from Weird Al! :D

Math: idk why I decided to try this one but I'm glad I did

Toby Determined: Google search for "restraining order" 💀

Blind Eye: an eye test, with the color substitution cipher at the bottom

Nacho: HOLY FUCKING SHIT DO NOT DO NACHO OH MY GOD I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF THAT WAS HORRIBLE. It was a slowly spinning triangle that got bigger while a voice cahnted something I didn't understand. Suddenly a Bill cipher with a realistic eye w no pupil, and a gorey mouth with realistic teeth jumped onto the screen with a very loud screech sound effect. NOT FUN. hhhh I scare too easily.

Dorito: OH MY GOD IT WAS THE SAME AS NACHO DO NOT ATTEMPT DO NOT ATTEMPT

Okay that's all I'm doing for now, folks!! Let me know what else you found!! Please reblog!!

[izicodes]

How I Approach Getting Stuck In My Code

*this happened last night on a friend group project

> Happy time playing music as I code.

> The website is slowly coming together, this is great!

> Oof, I get stuck on how to make this button open a path in the website.

> Okay, let’s ask ChatGTP.

> Oooo a solution! Tries the solution.

> Wrong. Doesn’t work.

> Okay let’s try Bard AI! (I have a belief that Bard is ChatGPT but the smarter cousin type).

> Still doesn’t work!

> But now I have an idea what might be wrong.

> Okay, let’s try YouTube!

> I don’t know how to exactly turn my problem into a search query…

> Okay let’s try Google

> Finds an article that goes into detail about how to solve the problem! Great!

> Updates the code

> Worse than before - more errors

> Panics - “WHY AREN’T YOU WORKING?!”

> Finds out the method is outdated in the newer version of the technology. Great.

> Deletes all of the new code

> Tries YouTube again

> Watches a video that is close to the solution, on 2x speed

> Updates code

> Still doesn’t work

> Almost punches laptop but realise this is a work laptop so I can’t

> Punches pillow instead

> “I need a distraction… I need a break”

> Goes downstairs

> Watches a random anime show + eating chocolate

> After 4 episodes, brain comes up with solution

> Runs upstairs to try it out

> Code works.

> “I’m so smart, ugh, I’m too much 😩”

[echodrops]

Sometimes the events of my life are truly so comedic that I have to assume some supernatural being(s) are watching me like their favorite evening sitcom and just dying with laughter.

Peep this Shakespearean level comedy of errors:

Go out with coworkers for a celebration because our project trip to Puerto Rico was approved.

Coworker brings up travel requirements to Puerto Rico. Only a driver's license is required, but you need the "Real I.D." symbol.

Pull out my driver's license to check, only to discover that my driver's license is expiring in FIVE DAYS. Thanks for even the slightest notification, Department of Public Safety???

Try to renew online, can't. No explanation for why is provided. Go to the DPS Office. "Oh, you used your passport to renew last time, and now your passport is expired. You can get a new passport though and then renew."

"Ma'am... do you know how long getting a passport takes?"

"I think it only takes a couple months now?" ... "And what is the expiration date of my license???"

"We can use a birth certificate instead. You can get it at the court house and come right back. We should be able to finish the renewal today."

"Ma'am... I was born in LA..." Lady tells me the next available DPS appointment isn't even until October 17th, eight days after driver's license expiration. Make the appointment.

Go to the California birth certificate website. Have to pay $60 for them to print and ship the birth certificate to me. Only after paying do they reveal there is a back-order on birth certificates and it may take up to 35 days for my birthday certificate to arrive.

Cancel the October 17th DPS appointment in abject disappointment.

Driving on an expired license because what else can I do? I can't bum rides off coworkers for 35 DAYS.

ONE DAY after my license officially expires, a college kid texting and driving veers into my lane and hits my car. (Thankfully no injuries, just a lot of cosmetic damage.)

The other driver doesn't have insurance. I DON'T HAVE A VALID LICENSE so I can't even go through MY insurance.

We agree to get estimates from body shops and for her to pay for the damage out of pocket. I get one official estimate--$1000 in dent hammering and repainting.

She texts me later that her mom "knows someone who repairs cars." Is this guy licensed? "Oh yeah definitely."

"Okay, give me the address and I'll take the car to their shop for an estimate."

"Ummm, maybe you could just bring the car to my mom's house and she can take it to the mechanic?"

"With all due respect dear, are you out of your mind?"

She finally gives me the address of the mechanic. It's one block from Mexico. It's a house. There are six dogs running loose in the front yard. There's something that might have ONCE UPON A TIME been a body shop next door to the house but now is a pile of barely standing timbers.

"Mechanic" comes out. I ask to see his license. He shows me a piece of paper that looks two steps above "I printed this direct from a Google images search."

I have a moment of despair, and then I realize: My car is 11 years old and has 100,000 miles on it.

If my car ends up chopped up for parts or sold across the border to Mexico, I can report it as stolen.

THIS IS HOW ECHO GETS A NEW CAR.

I am zen. All is well. I hope the worst case scenario comes true. I agree to bring the car to the "mechanic" on Monday.

Get back in the car, head home for the day.

Get a call from boss.

Puerto Rico project trip cancelled.

You can't make this shit up.

[sweetmariihs2]

I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF

I'm searching for Cedric stuff for my masterlist again, the victims today are the storyboards, and well, found some websites with stuff that I already had, but something that made me really sad was that I saw some gifs made by some tumblr blogs using little parts of storyboards where Cedric was featured in.... I'll tell you why this made me sad

This blog always added the source to the storyboards (a link who brings us to the artist's website, where should have more storyboards). Unfortunately, this page was deleted. So like, not access to them.

But in one of those posts (I don't know if that's related or not) this person gave us THE FULL LINK this time, written on the blog instead of hidden behind text. Then I put it on the Wayback Machine website to know if this site had previous saved versions or not. AND IT HAD! ON 2013! So I can acess it!

I tested this link not only on the usual Google search, but also on the private search, to be sure if it's a link that I can share and it will stay with the previous version of the post or not, and it did! It worked!

Well, this link only brings us to the Amulet Of Avalor episode storyboards. I can't complain though! I'm so happy for finding this!

I hope you can see this too. I'm feeling so smart right now oh my god. Here's the link.

https://web.archive.org/web/20131209080455/http://teatime-kiddies.blogspot.com/2013/08/amulet-of-avalor-song-storyboard-from.html

That's the link WITHOUT ME PUTTING IT ON THE WAYBACK MACHINE:

http://teatime-kiddies.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/amulet-of-avalor-song-storyboard-from.html

If it's not working through my post maybe you can try this yourself, search for the Wayback Machine website and add this to the search bar of the website, the previous version from 2013 will show up for you to click and then bam there it is

[gaysindistress]

Sad girl - ten

summary: James has an interesting new business proposal and one hell of a condition to deal with.

pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

warnings: cursing, Bucky’s smartass, 

word count: 2k

a/n: It’s almost wedding time!! 

part 9 | series masterlist

taglist: @missvelvetsstuff @angelsincident @spencerreidisagorgman    @i-have-no-life-charlie @esposadomd @reader-without-a-story @unaxv @iateall-yourcookies  @alana4610 @kandis-mom @beware-my-thorns @ozwriterchick @littlelizardlizzie @goldensunflowe-r

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

“Natasha,” the syllables of her name are being dragged out as Doll tries to give her the best puppy eyes she can. 

“Yes?” the redhead replies, not looking up from her phone. 

“I need your help with something.”

“If this is your way of asking me to help you dress shop, I’m going to stop you right there.”

Doll lets out a loud sigh, dropping herself into the chair next to Nat, “You’re the only one I want to go with. I’m not asking Pepper and Morgan is too young to give any real advice.”

“You have friends, don’t you?” Nat looks over at the pitiful sight of the other woman. 

“My situation doesn’t really allow for any real friends.”

“You make it sound like you’re a criminal.”

“I’m not one but the people I’m surrounded by are.”

“I’m sure you have at least one you can call.”

She doesn’t answer right away, the silence is telling of her answer though. 

“Oh my god,” Nat turns her body to fully look at her, “you have no friends.”

“Okay, that’s not fair. I do, they just aren’t people I particularly like being around for a long time, and dress shopping is going to take a long time,” she holds her hands up in defense as she explains. 

Nat raises her eyebrow, “So then they’re not friends.”

She rolls her eyes and stands up, “Fine, I’ll go ask Steve or Thor or even Loki.”

“No no I’ll go,” Nat grabs her wrist, preventing her from leaving. 

“Oh thank god. Thor is nice but Loki always looks like he’s got something up his sleeve.”

Both women make their way into the hallway as Nat speaks, “That’s probably because he does.”

Her eyes widen at Nat’s words but the slight smirk tells her it’s a joke. She leads the redhead upstairs and into her room. Nat takes a seat on her bed as the other woman grabs her computer and sits next to her. 

“Since it’s going to be here, I figured something short would work. I don’t really want anything big.”

Scrolling through endless pictures, Nat stops and points at a mid-thigh length tuxedo dress, “what about that one?”

“Isn’t that one a little too mob wife?”

“If the shoe fits.”

“Rude,” shooting her a side-eye look, she clicks on the dress. 

“You could wear a wide belt and a pair of white pumps,” Nat comments as they both look over it. 

“Definitely no veil,” they agree. 

Doll adds the dress to her cart and continues to search for the items Nat suggested. After finding a thick white belt and a pair of white pumps that have a diamond strap and buckle over the top, she hits the confirm payment button. 

“That was easy,” she adds as she closes her computer. 

“Um we’re not done yet,” Nat reopens it. 

Confused, she lets Nat take the computer and watches as she pulls up the Fleur du Mal website. 

“Oh no no no, I’m not getting lingerie,” she nearly shrieks as she tries to take the computer away from Nat but she’s too quick and pulls it out of her reach. 

“Why not? Unless you plan on going commando which would really shock him.”

She lets out a defeated sigh and falls back against the bed, “He’s not going to see anything.”

“Do you really believe that?” Barely lifting up her head, she says “I don’t know what I believe. My brain says no but my heart says maybe.”

“What does your pussy say?” Nat casually asks, not even looking at her and looking through the various sets. 

“We don’t listen to her. She has a mind of her own.”

Nat shifts back to show her the set she’s picked out; the Frankie lace set with a garter and sheer thigh-high stockings, “Maybe you should listen to her. She knows better than you do most of the time.”

“Well she has a bad taste in men so I ignore her,” she looks over the set, “that’s really pretty but white? Really? I’m not a virgin.”

Nat laughs, “If she’s telling you Bucky then just listen to her. I’ve heard he’s good in bed and yes white. It’s your wedding even if you’re not a virgin plus his jaw will drop if he sees you in this.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you know that. Fine, I’ll get it but I don’t have to wear it. I reserve the right to change my mind.”

“Agreed but I can guarantee you’ll wear it,” Nat quickly buys the set before the future Mrs. Barnes can change her mind. 

________________________________________________________________

The next week and a half go by without any major incidents. Since they had agreed to a small private ceremony, there wasn’t much planning to be done. Steve was in charge of getting the marriage license as well as getting ordained. Nat and the wedding planner were given the task of making as little fuss about the whole ordeal as possible. While she hadn’t wanted much to be done, Doll had requested one long table with candles and simple white flower arrangements for everyone to sit at. Not wanting to even involve Pepper or Anthony in the planning, they opted to have it Bucky’s New York house in the garden. 

“It’s comfortable here so why not?” had been her reasoning when he suggested using Sam’s Kings Point house. 

Saturday is the day of the wedding and she finds herself buzzing around the bathroom, anxiety starting to rise in her throat. Nat offered to help in getting ready and it was taking everything in her to not slap the bride to snap her out of this anxious pacing. 

“Oh my god you have to stop or you’ll work up a sweat and ruin your makeup.”

She stops and takes a deep breath through her nose, turning to Nat who is sitting on the bathroom counter. 

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous, it’s not like we have anyone to impress or lie to. Everyone knows this is arranged so why am I so nervous?”

Nat hops off the counter and stands behind her, brushing the hair off her shoulders, “Now this is just an educated guess but you like him and it’s starting to feel real.”

“An educated guess? What evidence do you have?” she’s started chewing on her brand-new nails but rips her hand away quickly. 

“You should see the way you look at him. It’s like a love-sick puppy, cute but also annoying.”

“Oh god.”

“But,” Nat starts as she grabs the curling iron and begins to curl her hair, “he looks at you the same way. I’m sure he’d have the same conversation with Steve right now.”

“You really think so?”

Nat nods and she’s not wrong. Across the hall, Bucky is also pacing his room while Steve and Sam drink whiskey and try to convince him to do the same to “calm his nerves”. 

“Seriously Buck you have to stop worrying so much. Nothing is going to happen. There’s no way John can get in or would even know about the ceremony,” Steve tries to reason with him. 

“Steve’s right. You took every precaution you could’ve, now sit down and drink. It’ll help or it’ll get you drunk so you forget what you’re worrying about,” Sam says, handing him a drink as he guides him by the shoulders to sit on the edge of his bed. 

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

Sam and Steve exchange a look. 

“Don’t even start with that ‘I told you so’ bullshit,” Bucky warns, nearly downing the entire contents of his glass. It burns as it touches his tongue but he doesn’t mind and hopes that it distracts him from the racing thoughts. 

“I wasn’t going to say that but we are right. You said it was going to just be a business transaction but here we are, the day of your wedding and you’re worked about whether or not she likes you back,” Steve says as gently as he can. 

“I know, I know. I fucked up but I couldn’t help it. She’s just so…. her and it happened before I could even stop it. With everything that’s happening, I’ve been thinking about her all of the time and I couldn’t even tell you when it shifted from concern to…” he pauses and just looks up at these two friends. 

“Wait do you love her?” Sam is the one to ask the million-dollar question. 

“No, I don’t think so. I like her a lot but ‘like’ doesn’t feel strong enough and ‘love’ feels too strong.”

“You’re on your way to love then. I’m going to say; we told you this was going to happen. You always say you’re not going to get feelings involved and then bam you’re head over heels in love. Just don’t push this one too fast. She’s going to be your wife so you can’t just end it whenever you get bored,” Sam says. 

“Yeah but she’s made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want us to be in a relationship.”

“I don’t know about that one, Buck. She might have said that in the past but how she’s been acting lately is telling a completely different story. Give it a chance. Talk to her and tell her how you feel, I’m sure you’d be surprised to hear what she has to say,” Steve adds. 

A knock at the door stops the three men who all share a look of confusion. Steve gets up to answer the door, only opening it a few inches. 

“Oh, it’s just you. Come in,” he steps aside to let the woman into the room. 

“You’re not even a little bit surprised or excited to see me?” she asks Steve while giving him a hug. 

“Well of course I am but we were expecting it to be someone else.”

“Yeah whatever,” she says as Bucky pulls her into a hug, “at least this one knows how to greet a person.”

“Hey Becca, I wasn’t sure if you were going to come.”

“I wasn’t about to miss my big brother’s wedding even if I’ve never met the girl,” there is an edge of upset in her voice. 

“Now you have to tell me; is this real or did you get wrapped up with the wrong people?” she asks, taking him back by how forward she’s being. 

“I’m not sure how to answer that,” he rubs the back of his neck, the anxiety starting to creep back in. 

“Okay yes, it’s real or not it’s a setup.”

“He’s falling in love with her but it started out a business deal,” Sam pipes up. Bucky makes a surprised face at how he just blurted it out. 

“Oh okay, I see. In that case, you’re stupider than hell for agreeing to this but I’m happy for you,” she chuckles as her brother sits back down on the bed, her taking a seat next to him. 

“Mom would be upset but happy that you’re finally settling down. Dad would probably be proud and give you some speech at taking on the family business at last.”

“We both know I’m not a part of that anymore.”

“You can tell yourself that but any involvement is still involvement,” she chides him, taking the glass from his hand and extending it out to Steve for a refill. 

“I think mom would like her. She’s stubborn but in a good way. She keeps me on my toes that’s for sure,” Bucky speaks lowly to his sister, fiddling with his watch. 

“If she really is Stark’s daughter then she’s perfect for you. I remember how much he used to piss off dad to no end but he would’ve done anything for Anthony if he’d asked,” she reassures him, putting her hand on top of his to stop his fiddling. 

“I don’t remember her though,” she continues. 

“From what I understand, her mom dropped her off at his door when she was a teenager and never looked back. It would’ve been around the time dad died and you left.”

“I see,” she checks the time on his watch, “well I should probably head downstairs and get seated. It’s almost time for me to finally see this Stark girl.” 

Becca gives him a quick kiss on the cheek, hugs the other two men goodbye, and heads downstairs. Bucky takes the refilled glass from Steve’s hand and downs it once again. He stands and puts on his double-breasted jacket. 

“Alright, gentlemen let’s go get married.”