#why is my heart racing ive seen this episode 5 times

[daughterofthesunlands]

Currently watching Rings of Power episode 8 of S2 again and why as soon as I heard Annatar's voice did I go:

*immediately trying to contact the middle-earth police*

[empty-dream]

So I read 86 LN vol 1

S1 anime covers the entire Vol 1 except for the latter's epilogue, so full anime spoiler here.

And as of this writing, I'm still on Vol 2 so the things I mention here are solely those that happen in Vol 1. Idk if a thing happens in the latter volume, gotta dodge spoiler so I don't browse about it.

There was an interview with a person inside the anime industry that basically said "The point of an anime adaptation is not to be an exact replica of the original material, but to shine as its own medium for a story." I forgot who it was and I can't find the interview anywhere for the life of me, but that statement opened my eyes. I agree with it, that's why I can appreciate the differences between LN/manga and anime, especially if they turn out good and/or interesting.

And that's exactly what happens in 86. I'll start with this: I watched the anime first, and after I read the Vol1 novel, I actually like the anime more. Because there are a lot of meaningful original scenes in it

And because the Vol1 novel turns out exactly what I fear when I first watched the anime: that I won't care much about the squadron aside from the main 5. (Look, the anime promotional materials mostly only have Lena and those 5 only. As shocked as I was in the anime, I did have an idea where the story would go from those alone). The rest are barely mentioned. Not even the girls are named in the novel, even though they do talk and Lecca is even prominent in anime.

For example, the second half of the first episode, the one that shows Spearhead squadron's daily life right before Lena contacts them, is anime original scenes. Kujo already dies the moment the novel starts focusing on the squadron. Simply put, a lot of the squadron members that aren't the main 5 or Kaie get a *lot* more focus in the anime, like Daiya, Haruto (For characters who appear on the introduction page, their novel screen time is less than I'd expect), Kujo and Lecca. While the other members often appear in the background and actually behave like equal members instead of glue-them-on figurines.

(Idk if those other members are named and/or designed in the light novel before the anime is a thing or when the anime becomes a thing.)

The anime also adds relevant information in the Raiden's talk with Lena in EP7, like Kaie receiving racial abuse from 86 (in fact in both versions, she is the first one to get highlighted about this) and Haruto also having prominent Giadian Empire blood like Anju and Shin. These weren't in the novel.

I might be just nitpicking here because I love Kaie and Haruto, but see, this scene is amazing on its own. This is where Raiden and the squad reveal the weight of their motivation all along, that they *each* have different backgrounds and different kinds of sufferings, yet they are all sentenced to die, and they all choose to fight because they know no side is saintly but some things are still worth fighting for.

The prominent characters' deaths (besides Kaie's) are often mentioned with only one or two dry lines. I expected at least Daiya's to be detailed more, but it's just that so matter-of-fact-ly. Well I came from the anime, so I guess it's normal if I expected something as heartbreaking.

I broke down HARD at the last half of EP10 and that is nowhere in the Vol 1 novel. (Having Hands Up to the Sky playing in the background is also an advantage for being an anime. Fuck that song, I now play it 24/7 in despair)

Having a lot of original anime scenes really complement the story's nature. That there are two different sides of life here, it's not just Lena's or 86's only. And those couldn't have intertwined if not for their willingness to listen and communicate.

I know I mentioned this some days ago but really, I can't get over how many of the merch are Lena (and Annette) being cute doing cute stuff while the story itself is actually depressing. Merch staffs know the market lol.

- Novel side -

That said, the novel does have an advantage that the anime/visual media doesn't: Internal explorations and explanations.

It's obvious from the get-go, but Asato confirms that the inspiration of Republic of San Magnolia and its racial discrimination and genocide is taken from Nazi Germany in WW2. The Republic who favors the white/silver haired-eyed Alba drives Colorata out of the 85 sectors, overtakes their properties, and forcibly sends the now-called-86 to either fight their war and die, or work on the wall and die.

The life inside the Republic is also elaborated on. Class always exists, even inside one race only. The center of the republic is for the elites, Lena and Annette's families included. The farther a sector is from the center, the lower the education and economy there is. Most of the military come from these areas, which explains why Lena herself is in difficult situation. Since no one in the military is either capable or willing to bring change.

It's *insane* how easily the Republic could create such vile lies, and how easily the majority of the citizens go along with it.

Gotta admit, Asato does a good job at foreshadowing the fate of the 86, the truth that we can only see after Ep7 of anime. It is mentioned that supposedly, 86 soldiers will be welcomed back once their 5-years term is up. Lena once wonders about it, but ultimately she buys it thinking that surely they must have come back to another sector. She only realizes it's utter bullshit after Annette points out how, 9 years later, they have never seen even one Colorata inside the Republic when they should have seen at least some. This also shows that Lena has never ventured to the other sectors to find out more, probably due to work or maybe she's still a sheltered noblewoman in the end.

And the mentality of the majority of Alba is shown differently. Whereas the anime uses the academy classroom to show how deeply rooted the racism against 86 is, the novel uses Lena's mother who a) more or less does the same as the classroom, and b) presses Lena to get married and preserve their pure noble bloodline. This, when the nobility doesn't actually mean anything anymore. This version shows not only Alba's racism but also Lena's strained family life.

There is a scene of an Alba high school valedictorian who, during his graduating speech, says “My friends died fighting the Legion.” I’m not sure this will make it to the anime, and it’s just a minor scene in the novel, but the weight of that scene is heavy.

The science of Para-Raid is explained, which has something to do with tapping the collective consciousness of humanity and connecting it to one another. A bit far-etched but I guess that works, science fiction and all. But I like the part where despite (or maybe because?) of connecting via hearing only, the other senses are faintly receptive as well. For example, one can sense that the other side is biting their lips in frustration, something like that. Of course, actual real life things like sensing the hidden bitterness or elation in a talking partner's words are present, this being a story where listening matters.

The novel elaborates on Raiden's stay with the Alba old woman. He calls her Old Hag, but it's clear he greatly respects her. The part where she screams and curses in the middle of the road at the Republic soldiers who take Raiden and the other children away stays in Raiden's mind forever, and so it does to me. Ngl it is quite a chilling scene.

Same with the story of the previous Laughing Fox, Theo's Alba commander. It turns out, the entirety of Theo's first squadron didn't like him at all and bet on how fast he'd tuck tail and run back to the Republic. When he faced his death the way Theo explained, he sent a message to Theo revealing he knew about it and knew his place to not ask for acknowledgment or forgiveness. This made Theo regret why he didn't try to talk more with his commander and he keeps thinking about it forever. Now it makes even more sense why Theo, blunt as he is, is willing to listen to Lena and when he snaps, he wonders if his late commander would do the same.

What actually happens in Kurena's backstory is also touched upon. While in the anime some viewers could think "Man, I get where you're coming from but chill out." The novel graphically shows her parents being toyed on by the Alba soldiers while her sister protected her, the two could only watch, and then the same sister got sent to the battlefield to die. Now at that, anyone would think "Man, no wonder she can't chill out. Not with all that trauma."

I also like the addition that Lena can sense Kurena is the one who dislikes her the most.

The novel describes greatly that it isn't just Alba and Non-Alba. Essentially speaking, Non-Alba is called Colorata, and they consist of different race groups as well. Just as Alba is associated with the color silver/white, the other race have their associated colors as well. Asato assigns races to the named members in Vol1 and what their distinguished color features are. This also explains why Anju is exiled despite looking like an Alba.

It's a question that I pondered on when I first saw Shin's armor plates, and that I pondered harder on when Chise died: What happens if there is no armor plate to carve its processor's name's on? So it turns out Shin would substitute it with anything; piece of wood or some random piece of metal. For Chise's case, Raiden, Chise's leader, suggested using the wing of Chise's in-progress airplane model. Which did my heart so bad because I'm strangely fond of Chise and finding out that in his spare time in his limited lifespan, he was working on an airplane model made me sob.

I'm not particularly into mecha, and could care less about how it moves. But Asato did a good job describing the fight between a glorified suicide car and a line of brand-new solid A-grade tanks. Special mention to I-IV because wow the concept arts for all the mechas are so cool, even though I don't really understand. (Asato even said to I-IV "Go draw a tank so horrible it's stupid for the Juggernaut" and I-IV came up with the current Juggernaut)

You know how the Republic greeting is "Glory to San Magnolia and the five-colored flag"? I won't disclose who says this in what situation, but there is someone of Colorata saying "If you hate colors so much, you should have just colored your flag white" AND OOOH THE BURN SO HOT HOT HOT

Tl;dr: Bottom line is, I personally enjoy Vol 1 because I already watched the anime and got attached to it. If I were to read the vol 1 first, most likely I wouldn't fall this hard for the series. Hell, maybe I wouldn't even pick it up in the first place because I knew it'd be depressing. But this is not to say that the LN is bad. It’s very good, it just does not really touch the lives of other soldiers whereas that’s the very thing that I love from the anime.

[hongism]

AHHHH no but on the real im in love with scarlet envy like its unreaaaaal!! i too am loving ra’jah, kylie, akeria, and 100% jan!!!! scarlet and jan rn have my heart!! ive also been a big fan of ginger for a while but imo she sometimes struggles with looks, but her personality and humor literally is just so good so i also love her!!!!

i think i started watching drag race during trixies allstar year.. was it all stars 5? 3? i cannot remember the season but that was my first intro into it and ive watched it off an on since then!!! and YES PLS LETS WATCH IT TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT IT OMG OMG ill try to send you an ask after every episode!!!! i may not be able to this coming weekend bc we are going to he visiting my grandparents, but like as soon as i get the chance to watch the episode i will come scream with you!! ive seen both episodes that are out now so feel free to talk about your feelings on who went home!!

and lord the trans representation this season lit made me tear up its just!!!! so good!!! i have such a good feeling about this season fr :’) -solar🌙

I LOVE YOU💕💕💕💕

bestie i tell u WHAT i literally had a dream last night that scarlet won no JOKE maybe this is a SIGN!?!?!? i love ginger esp on her other seasons but that first frog look had me shocked in a bad way 😭😭😭 but you know what she's fun and campy and that's very much ginger so i can't be too mad at it

and omg trixie's allstar season which was it i THINK it was 3??? i JUST watched it like 2 weeks ago and already forgot tbh im so bad at remembering seasons but trixie is one of my all time fave drag queens (along with katya soijgodifjg god katya is my spirit animal while trixie is like my spirit mother) but yESSSS let's watch together don't worry i dont think i'll be able to watch this weekend either we'll SEE but i'll gladly be awaiting your message so we can scream together heh !

honestly i wasn't super surprised when serena went home simply bc of experience !! she was also not super well known in terms of like how many of the other girls really knew her well and were friends with her, i think having all those season 11 girls together worked against serena in that regard ;;-; then miss jiggly!! i was sad to see her go :(( but it made lots of sense bc of the sewing challenge and she didn't know how to sew then her denim look !! i loved those pants but it really didn't scream drag to me so ! i understand why she went home T_T

this season is truly ICONIC so much representation and so much good fashion and drag and performances it's so amazing :') I LOVE YOU MOSTTT

[birdlord]

Everything I Watched in 2020

We’ll start with movies. The number in parentheses is the year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year. Here’s 2019’s list. 

01 Little Women (19)

02 The Post (17) 

03 Molly’s Game (17)

04 * Doctor No (62)

05 Groundhog Day (93)

06 *Star Trek IV - The Voyage Home (86)

07 Knives Out (19) My last theatre experience (sob)

08 Professor Marston and his Wonder Women (17)

09 Les Miserables (98)

10 Midsommar (19) I’m not sure how *good* it is, but it does stick in the ol’ brain

11 *Manhattan Murder Mystery (93)

12 Marriage Story (19)

13 Kramer vs Kramer (79)

14 Jojo Rabbit (19)

15 J’ai perdu mon corps (19) a cute animated film about a hand detached from its body!

16 1917 (19)

17 Married to the Mob (88)

18 Klaus (19)

19 Portrait of a Lady on Fire (19) If Little Women made me want to wear a scarf criss-crossed around my torso, this one made me want to wear a cloak

20 The Last Black Man in San Francisco (19)

21 *Lawrence of Arabia (62)

22 Gone With the Wind (39)

23 Kiss Me Deadly (55)

24 Dredd (12)

25 Heartburn (86) heard a bunch about this one in the Blank Check series on Nora Ephron, sadly after I’d watched it

26 The Long Shot (19)

27 Out of Africa (85)

28 King Kong (46)

29 *Johnny Mnemonic (95)

30 Knocked Up (07)

31 Collateral (04)

32 Bird on a Wire (90)

33 The Black Dahlia (05)

34 Long Time Running (17)

35 *Magic Mike (12)

36 Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (07)

37 Cold War (18)

38 *Kramer Vs Kramer (79) yes I watched this a few months before! This was a pandemic friend group co-watch.

39 *Burn After Reading (08)

40 Last Holiday (50)

41 Fly Away Home (96)

42 *Moneyball (11) I’m sure I watch this every two years, at most??

43 Last Holiday (06) the Queen Latifah version of the 1950 movie above, lacking, of course, the brutal “poor people don’t deserve anything good” ending

44 *Safe (95)

45 Gimme Shelter (70)

46 The Daytrippers (96)

47 Experiment in Terror (62)

48 Tucker: The Man and His Dream (88)

49 My Brilliant Career (79) one of the salvations of 2020 was watching movies “with” friends. Our usual method was to video chat before the movie, sync our streaming services, and text-chat while the movie was on. 

50 Divorce Italian Style (61)

51 *Gosford Park (01) another classic comfort watch, fuck I love a G. Park

52 Hopscotch (80)

53 Brief Encounter (45)

54 Hud (63)

55 Ocean’s 8 (18)

56 *Beverly Hills Cop (84)

57 Blow the Man Down (19)

58 Constantine (05)

59 The Report (19) maddening!! How are people so consistently terrible to one another!

60 Everyday People (04)

61 Anatomy of a Murder (58)

62 Spiderman: Homecoming (17)

63 *To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (95) Of the 90s drag road movies, Priscilla is more visually striking, but this has its moments.

64 Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (92)

65 *The Truman Show (98)

66 Mona Lisa (86)

67 The Blob (58)

68 The Guard (11)

69 *Waiting for Guffman (96) RIP Fred Willard

70 Rocketman (19)

71 Outside In (18)

72 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (08) how strange to see a movie that you have known the premise for, but no details of, for over a decade

73 *Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country (91)

74 The Reader (08)

75 Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (19) This was fine until it VERY MUCH WAS NOT FINE

76 The End of the Affair (99) you try to watch a fun little romp about infidelity during the Blitz, and Graham Greene can’t help but shoehorn in a friggin crisis of religious faith

77 Must Love Dogs (05) barely any dog content, where are the dogs at

78 The Rainmaker (97)

79 *Batman & Robin (97)

80 National Lampoon’s Vacation (83) Never seen any of the non-xmas Vacations, didn’t realize the children are totally different, not just actors but ages! Also, this one is blatantly racist!

81 *Mystic Pizza (88)

82 Funny Girl (68)

83 The Sons of Katie Elder (65)

84 *Knives Out (19) another re-watch within the same year!! How does this keep happening??

85 *Scott Pilgrim Vs The World (10) a real I-just-moved-away-from-Toronto nostalgia watch

86 Canadian Bacon (92) vividly recall this VHS at the video store, but I never saw it til 2020

87 *Blood Simple (85)

88 Brittany Runs a Marathon (19)

89 The Accidental Tourist (88)

90 August Osage County (13) MELO-DRAMA!!

91 Appaloosa (08)

92 The Firm (93) Feeling good about how many iconic 80s/90s video store stalwarts I watched in 2020

93 *Almost Famous (00)

94 Whisper of the Heart (95)

95 Da 5 Bloods (20)

96 Rain Man (88)

97 True Stories (86)

98 *Risky Business (83) It’s not about what you think it’s about! It never was!

99 *The Big Chill (83)

100 The Way We Were (73)

101 Safety Last (23) It’s getting so that I might have to add the first two digits to my dates...not that I watch THAT many movies from the 1920s...

102 Phantasm (79)

103 The Burrowers (08)

104 New Jack City (91)

105 The Vanishing (88)

106 Sisters (72)

107 Puberty Blues (81) Little Aussie cinema theme, here

108 Elevator to the Gallows (58)

109 Les Diaboliques (55)

110 House (77) haha WHAT no really W H A T

111 Death Line (72)

112 Cranes are Flying (57)

113 Holes (03)

114 *Lady Vengeance (05)

115 Long Weekend (78)

116 Body Double (84)

117 The Crazies (73) I love that Romero shows the utter confusion that would no doubt reign in the case of any kind of disaster. Things fall apart.

118 Waterlilies (07)

119 *You’re Next (11)

120 Event Horizon (97)

121 Venom (18) I liked it, guys, way more than most superhero fare. Has a real sense of place and the place ISN’T New York!

122 Under the Silver Lake (18) RIP Night Call

123 *Blade Runner (82)

124 *The Birds (62) interesting to see now that I’ve read the story it came from

125 *28 Days Later (02) hits REAL FUCKIN’ DIFFERENT in a pandemic

126 Life is Sweet (90)

127 *So I Married an Axe Murderer (93) find me a more 90s movie, I dare you (it’s not possible)

128 Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (67)

129 The Pelican Brief (93) 90s thrillers continue!

130 Dick Johnston is Dead (20)

131 The Bridges of Madison County (95)

132 Earth Girls are Easy (88) Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are so hot in this movie, no wonder they got married 

133 Better Watch Out (16)

134 Drowning Mona (00) trying for something like the Coen bros and not getting there

135 Au Revoir Les Enfants (87)

136 *Chasing Amy (97) Affleck is the least alluring movie lead...ever? I also think I gave Joey Lauren Adams’ character short shrift in my memory of the movie. It’s not good, but she’s more complicated than I recalled. 

137 Blackkklansman (18)

138 Being Frank (19)

139 Kiki’s Delivery Service (89)

140 Uncle Frank (20) why so many FRANKS

141 *National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89) watching with pals (virtually) made it so much more fun than the usual yearly watch!

142 Half Baked (98) another, more secret Toronto nostalgia pic - RC Harris water filtration plant as a prison!

143 We’re the Millers (13)

144 All is Bright (13)

145 Defending Your Life (91)

146 Christmas Chronicles (18) I maintain that most new xmas movies are terrible, particularly now that Netflix churns them out like eggnog every year. 

147 Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse (18)

148 Reindeer Games (00) what did I say about Affleck??!? WHAT DID I SAY

149 Palm Springs (20)

150 Happiest Season (20)

151 *Metropolitan (90) it’s definitely a Christmas movie

152 Black Christmas (74)

THEATRE:HOME - 2:150 (thanks pandemic)

I usually separate out docs and fiction, but I watched almost no documentaries this year (with the exception of Dick Johnston). Reality is real enough. 

TV Series

01 - BoJack Horseman (final season) - Pretty damned poignant finish to the show, replete with actual consequences for our reformed bad boy protagonist (which is more than you can say for most antiheroes of Peak TV).

02 - *Hello Ladies - I enjoy the pure awkwardness of seeing Stephen Merchant try to perform being a Regular Person, but ultimately this show tips him too far towards a nasty, Ricky Gervais-lite sort of persona. Perhaps he was always best as a cameo appearance, or lip synching with wild eyes while Chrissy Teigen giggles?

03 - Olive Kittredge - a rough watch by times. I read the book as well, later in the year. Frances Mcdormand was the best, possibly the only, casting option for the flinty lead. One episode tips into thriller territory, which is a shock. 

04 - *The Wire S3, S4, S5 - lockdown culture! It was interesting to rewatch this, then a few months later go through an enormous, culture-level reappraisal of cop-centred narratives. 

05 - Forever - a Maya Rudolph/Fred Armisen joint that coasts on the charm of its leads. The premise is OK, but I wasn’t left wanting any more at the end. 

06 - *Catastrophe - a rewatch when my partner decided he wanted to see it, too!

07 - Red Oak - resolutely “OK” steaming dramedy, relied heavily on some pretty obvious cues to get across its 1980s setting. 

08 - Little Fires Everywhere - gulped this one down while in 14-day isolation, delicious! Every 90s suburban mom had that SUV, but not all of them had the requisite **secrets**

09 - The Great - fun historical comedy/drama! Costumes: lush. Actors: amusing. Race-blind casting: refreshing!

10 - The Crown S4 - this is the season everyone lost their everloving shit for, since it’s finally recent enough history that a fair chunk of the viewing audience is liable to recall it happening. 

11 - Ted Lasso - we resisted this one for a while (thought I did enjoy the ad campaign for NBC sports (!!) that it was based on). My view is that its best point was the comfort that the men on the show have (or develop, throughout the season) with the acknowledgement and sharing of their own feelings. Masculinity redux. 

12 - Moonbase 8 - Goodnatured in a way that makes you certain they will be crushed. 

13 - The Good Lord Bird - Ethan Hawke is really aging into the character actor we always hoped he would be! 

14 - Hollywood - frothy wish-fulfillment alternate history. I think the show would have been improved immeasurably by skipping the final episode.

[miraculouscataclyyysm]

Seating plan au part 5

Link to part 4

After Marinette’s birthday she brings the book of poetry Felix made her EVERYWHERE (see part 3 for more info on that) eventually she Doesn't even realise she’s doing it, it becomes a sort of comfort blanket, on one particular occasion Felix notices she’s holding it and asks “Mari....is that the book I made for you?” Mari goes bright red and stutters “what? no! I doNT have a book” “Mari your literally holding it” “I just like holding it okay” Felix smirks and says okay but he’s doing backflips on the inside

Weredad is a mess, sins it’s after Mari's birthday both Marinette and Felix know they have feelings for each other but haven’t acted on it yet, but the rest of the class ship it (except Chloe and Lila but they ain’t important) it starts off like canon, Mari fakes being in love with chat as an excuse, she tried saying “because I live here” but chat says “you were on your balcony during an Akuma fight? Mari what the hell?!?!” So she just yelled I love you and chat was shook, unfortunately, chat wasn’t as opposed to the idea as he was in canon, all those late night talks and Eiffel Tower visits made it so chat and Marinette were close friends, so the episode follows canon, Mari’s dad invites him for dinner etc but felix comes over during the lunch looking for Mari and chat/Adrian sees his face and bolts out the door, chat lets Mari down after realising felix has feelings for her and then Weredad happens, after the Akuma fight felix goes to find Mari, he sore on the news what happened and had to make sure she was okay, he got the the bakery just as chat left, he told Mari he values her friendship too much and she agreed there better as friends * cough* I’m unknowingly in love with your cousin *cough*, Felix hugs Mari and asks why she never told him about chat and she explains it was a BIG misunderstanding, “he’s just a friend”, felix couldn’t hide his relieved face and said “good, you deserve way better than that ally chat” Mari brunches his arm playfully *cue felix hearteyes*

Chloe gets akumatised into antibug again after Lila clames she was Hornet, the bee hero ladybug entrusted wiith the bee miraculous (see part 3 for more info) “well after ladybug heard about my grandmother volpina she new I was the best option to help out in short notice” *lila side eyes Chloe “it’s not like there was anyone else she knew she could trust” Chloe goes off yelling how utterly ridiculous that is, Felix says “I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I actually agree with Chloe...that’s the stupidest thing you said all week lie-la” the class breaks into an argument...basically Chloe, Sabrina, Marinette, Felix, alix, Kim and max against Lila, alya, rose, juleka, mylene, Ivan, felix and Mari mainly only made sarcastic comments while alix and Kim called Bullshit and Chloe called Lila ridiculous, Lila just played the victim and asked why Chloe was being so mean *cue fake crying and Alya jumping to her defence* “Your just bitter Chloe, you had the chance to be a hero and prove yourself to ladybug but decided to crash a train instead of actually saving people, obviously ladybug would choose you after that” “you’ll regret saying that cesaire” and the Chloe stormed out of classed (Nathanial, Adrian and nino just sat and watched during the whole thing) a few minutes after storming out Chloe was transformed into Antibug

While patrolling together on less busy nights ladybug, chat noir, bunnix , carapace, Renard Arctique (Fox Felix) and once he’s made a permanent member viperion play games to pass time (and because it’s fun and there all secretly competitive af...and it’s fun) they race each other, play hide and seek all over Paris and play gladiator (no powers while battling though or carapace would have an edge) Alya captured a few videos of there antics for the lady blog and her followers are dying to see more, it’s a breath of fresh air to see the hero’s having fun instead of fighting to save all of Paris

Sometimes when Felix knows Marinette is at her internship he’ll turn up to take her for lunch claiming “he just happened to be in the neighbourhood” “you just happened to be in the Agreste offices?” “That's what I said” after the 3rd time Marinette stopped questioning him and just enjoyed getting to spend one on one time with him, after her promotion though he doesn’t have to make up a terrible excuse because she spends most of her internship days at the Agreste mansion so he just brings her food to eat in the garden, Gabriel sees them laughing out of the window and even he Gabriel ‘I threw my son across Paris’ Agreste who has a cold dead heart ships them

After the “accidental” fashion show date (see part 4) Felix and Marinette are officially dating, Alix makes a big deal about how it’s all thanks to her when they walk into class holding hands the next day (yes Felix did send her that thank you fruit basket) but not everyone is happy about it, at lunch Lila, Alya, Nino and Adrian are having lunch at the table next to Mari, Alix and Kim (Felix and max are in the library) and Lila making sure she’s talking just loud enough for Mari and co to hear her say says “you know she’s only dating him because of your dad...right Adrian?” Adrian and Alya obviously shocked (Nino just gives her a look as if to say...wtf are you on girl) “it’s true, I overheard her talking to Alix once about it” Nino-“but she already has the agrest internship, she got that before she was even that close to Felix” Adrian-“ninos right, she has no reason to do that Lila, my father already loves her work” Lila-“and this would give her an extra edge, he loves her work now but when she’s family she’d get extra time to work with him, extra opportunity’s and funding into projects” *Mari is in shock at what she’s hearing and Kim is holding Alix back from lunging at Lila* Alya unsure-“it does make a little sense...if she did really like him wouldn’t they have gott3n together weeks ago?” *Lila with a smug face “exactly” Nino-“alya you can’t be serious? You actually believe her” Alix explodes out of her seat missing a tearful Marinette leaving the cafeteria to go to the lockerroom “are you dumb? Are you completely devoid of brain cells? You must be because your talking absolute rubbish, if you actually think Marinette would date Felix just to push her fashion career forward you have to be the biggest idiot in the entire world” Lila stands up and puts on a hurt face “don’t attack me just because your friends with a gold digger” “THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING IV EVER HEARD YOU MUPPET” Alix then gets akumatised into Miss Candour who makes people be brutally honest

Ladybug and chat defeat Miss Candour, after Lila admits to the whole of Paris’s that she lied about Marinette only dating felix because his uncle is Gabriel Agreste and even got out that she lied about her grandma being volpina and that she was Hornet *all of Paris could suddenly hear Chloe yelling “I knew it”* once everyone was back in school Alix apologised to Marinette for exploding and not letting her fight her own battles but Mari just laughs and says she’s happy to have a friend that cares so much about her*bff hugs all around* felix asks her if she’s okay once there seated in class and says he’d never believe something like that “even if it wasn’t coming from lie-la I’d never believe something like that, you have the truest heart iv ever seen, I trust you completely Marinette, never doubt that” then Adrian ruins the moment by turning round in his seat and saying he’s sorry for not stopping Lila sooner *felix rolls his eyes* “but I know I should have, I knew Nino was right, I’d never believed something like that about you, your too good a person” mari is shocked sins she’s not that close to Adrian *adrian your chat Noirs showing* “what she said made zero sens, I don’t understand how anyone could believe it, I promise to have your back from the very start next time Marinette” lila didn’t show back up to school for a week after that and when she did she acted like nothing happened

Part 6

Tag-

@akana-sama

[strayneoculturekids]

High school AU Lee Mark x Reader

A/N: The idea for this fic isn’t completely mine, I got it after seeing a post and I’ve wanted to do it for a while so credit to whoever that person was ALSO I go to a school that has free seating so I have no idea how the teacher’s assign desks so forgive me for any mistakes

Highschool AU

Summary: The person who sits at your desk the period before you in class always left you cute little notes. At first, you think they’re just being sweet, but as the notes start to get a little more specific, you realize you might have a secret admirer.

Genre: Fluff

It was only the last period of your first day back at school, and you were already fed up. Due to the sleep schedule that you completely ruined over the holidays, you didn’t get to bed until around 3am last night. The bags under your eyes were very evident, but no one questioned it, because everyone else had them too.

Except for one person. Actually, he did have them, but did that stop him from being the most loveable person ever? No.

Mark Lee. The boy who always seemed to be so shining and bright, no matter the situation. You had never once seen him in a bad mood, not even today, on the first day of school. This was one of the many, many reasons you had a tiny little crush on him.

Despite Mark’s charming personality and outstanding looks, not a lot of girls were going for him. It was high school. A lot of girls wanted a bad boy and a relationship with no meaning, just for the thrill of it. You found this completely fine, you understood that they just wanted a little bit of relationship experience and to know what it felt like to have a boyfriend like that. 

But some unknowable force just dragged you towards Mark.

You walked into your classroom, being met with the teacher and a few other students.

Ugh, why is the teacher here so early You thought dreadfully

She instructed you to your seat while you put on a fake smile and nodded, walking towards your assigned desk.

You plopped yourself down on the seat before looking down at your desk, not very surprised to see that it had already been graffitied on, it still looked fresh so you assumed that the person who sat at this desk the period before wrote it. just a short sentence.

I know it’s the start of the school year, but keep your chin up! It read

For some absurd reason, the cringey little message left on your desk by the mysterious person put a smile on your face and left your hear a little warm. You were aware that you probably looked like an idiot just staring at your desk and smiling, so after a few seconds, you instantly went back to your resting face.

During the whole class, you kept looking down towards that little note, and it actually helped you study a bit harder. You didn’t know why, but you really enjoyed it.

The next day, the same thing happened, where you saw a new little encouraging message. This went on for a few weeks before you got a message that particularly got your heart racing.

I saw you walking in the halls today, you looked pretty tired. Maybe you should try getting a bit more rest, but I like your new hairstyle!

You tried to think of any possible way as to how this message might not be for you, but alas, when you wiped your fingers across it, it left some ink on you, indicating that it had just been written.

And coincidentally, you had just started styling your hair differently today. You frantically looked around despite knowing that the person who wrote the note would be long gone by now.

A million thoughts were racing through your mind and the period felt like it passed in 5 minutes, but you didn’t retain a single piece of information.

By the time you left school, you were still in a daze but tried not to let it show when you arrived home. You decided that you would sleep on it, and crashed on your bed, falling asleep straight away despite having unfinished homework.

The morning came around far too soon and you got up and dressed slowly, a little bit less sleep deprived due to your extremely early night last night.

You went downstairs, finally noticing the time. It was 15 minutes until school started.

“FUCK” You shouted out loud

“Language” Your dad shouted back

You threw a quick sorry at him, almost deciding to skip breakfast, but weirdly remembering the little note you had gotten a few days previously.

Make sure to eat well!

You cursed yourself for remembering that a time like this and quickly went back to grab an apple from the fridge, racing out the door as quickly as possible, running as fast as your legs could possibly carry you.

You arrive at school in a huffing mess, but you arrived before the bell and that’s all that matters. You quickly went to your locker, instantly noticing the bright pink sticky note that was stuck to it.

You stared at it for a while before finally noticing the small crowd around you, whispering and pointing towards you and the note. After a short episode of dread and embarrassment, you took the note off your locker and read it.

Did you enjoy my notes? I hope so! You’ve been looking a lot healthier lately, I’m glad. Could you stay back after your class this afternoon? I wanna talk.

Your heart was racing at top speed and you felt a blush rise to your face. You gulped but before you had enough time to switch into full panic mode, the bell for the first period rung. You quickly stuffed your things in your locker and got out your books for your first class.

The day felt like it went on forever, you just wanted it to be over! The anticipation of meeting the mysterious stranger leaving you notes was killing you, you couldn’t focus on anything but the sticky note that had been left on your locker.

When the last period came around, you looked down at the desk, noticing that there was no new note. Of course, it was no surprise, however, you were still a bit disappointed.

The period itself felt like it dragged on for days, you kept looking to the clock every five minutes only to discover the time actually hadn’t changed.

Finally, the end of school came around and while everyone else was leaving the room, you were sitting not-so-patiently at your desk, tapping your foot, waiting to see who would come into the room next.

You heard footsteps coming towards the room and your heart was suddenly throbbing in your chest. You started to squirm in your seat until you saw someone walk through the door, that someone making you freeze.

Mark Lee.

His bright, signature smile was lacking for a few seconds, but when he saw you, it returned immediately and you could see his face becoming slightly red.

“M-Mark?!” You almost screamed, standing up from your chair

“S-surprise?” he said, timidly rubbing the back of his neck

Before you could even process the fact that Mark was the one leaving you all those notes, you ran up to him and wrapped him in a bear hug. Which he reciprocated after a few seconds of surprise.

“I can’t believe it was you” You said in a hushed voice

His beautiful smile echoed in the room and you stopped hugging him to look him in the eyes. Both of your faces were almost bright red.

“So...does that mean you do wanna go on a date with me?” he asked, a nervous smile spreading on his perfect face

[lia-nikiforov]

Spring 2018 Anime Watchlist

THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME THIS SEASON I HAD TO BINGE 37 EPISODES IN THREE DAYS TO CATCH UP

Dropped

Mahou Shoujo Site: Although I originally intended to irony watch this one, expecting something like MahoIku or King’s Game, its sadistic reveling in the main character’s suffering was impossible to stomach. I felt physically ill at the end of it. I’m not, in principle, opposed to gory stuff, y’all know I sat through the whole stupidity that was King’s Game, but MahoSite doesn’t even reach the level of ridiculous over the topness to make it funny, it’s just a cascade of misery porn with not a single moment of levity or triumph for the heroine. I think I was done the moment that gratuitous “if you punch my stomach my period won’t come” line, because apparently some dudes get off on the idea of a woman being so brutalized she stops menstruating??????

Kakuriyo Yadomeshi: I was willing to give this one the three-episode trial after the first episode in spite of the godawful main love interest and the fact that the grandfather sold the MC into literal slavery wtf, because the main girl seems proactive and independent buuuuuuut fuck I hated episode 2. Not only does she seem to quickly forgive her grandfather for SELLING HER OFF, the men around her keep speaking over her and making decisions for her and she turns out to be just independent enough to not be a complete doormat, but not enough to appear defiant and I hate it. Thanks but no thanks, I ain’t here to see a romantization of being literally sold into an arranged marriage.

YOU THINK?!

Cutie Honey Universe: Before this, I’d had zero interaction with any other iteration of Cutie Honey, so I wasn’t sure of what to expect beyond knowing this was from the creator of Devilman. Certainly blatant homophobic jokes and jokes about physical abuse wasn’t in my list of thigs I expected to see, yet here we are. I ain’t here for “hyuk hyuk look at these fat/butch/ugly lesbians, aren’t they ridiculous” jokes either.

Butlers x Battlers: I completely forgot I watched this one. I don’t remember anything about it except being confused

GeGeGe no Kitaro: This one didn’t do anything wrong, but I was never gonna watch it. I just checked out episode 1 because I heard it made a dig at Logan Paul. I wish they’d gone all the way through and killed that character, but I guess you can’t have it all. It was actually a pretty decent episode, and in a weaker season I’d probably keep watching it, but there’s just too much stuff coming out. And I have watched previous Kitaro anime and it’s sometimes too meanspirited for me.

Uma Musume: I didn’t expect much from this show and was pleasantly surprised by the double-length first episode. Special Week was a nice, fun protagonist to root for and although the world-building was weird as heck, it was fun and positive. So I’m not exactly sure of what happened with episode 2/3 that it left me feeling completely dry. The pacing was super rushed, the characters all felt horribly flat, and the races weren’t super exciting because rather than any strategy or strong emotional realization, Special Week just has to start running even faster and faster in the final leg. It was also kind of implied she had gained weight? But then never brought up? And it’s not made very clear why she lost in the end? Was she supposed to learn humility and not getting too complacent? Seems too early for her to learn that when she’s supposed to be an underdog. I don’t know, it didn’t really work for me and I don’t feel like I care to watch more of it.

Because this post is long af and has a lot of gifs some folks were having trouble loading it on mobile, so you’ll have to read under the cut to know which are the shows I’m actually watching oops

Chopping Block: 

There is too much anime and I’m near the end of the semester so I’m gonna have to cut at least one -preferably two- of these shows

Sword Art Online Alternative: This was another one I intended to hatewatch? But rather than offensive or idiotic it’s so far been pretty boring. Episode one was a slog. The first half of episode two was a horrendous spectacle of hating your own body. The only think I liked was the friendship between LLENN and Pito (btw Pito meand ‘dick’ in Spanish and every time she says “call me Pito” I die). Then episode 3 was more boring exposition. FPS games are the least interesting I could think of, and I’ve never been into Let’s Play, so this show is hitting all the right notes to make me bored out of my mind. I also don’t appreciate the big dude not telling Llenn the plan and just kind of being condescending to her. If next episode is just 20 more minutes of the dude explaining things to Llenn, I’m out. (Also, Pito is 100% Elsa Kanzaki)

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: Not feeling this reboot at all. It’s all very dry and just dudes expositioning strategy at each other. Also there are 30 characters in the Ending and only 2 of them are women???? I’ll give it one more episode, but tbh I’ve had problems even paying attention to 2 and 3, it just doesn’t grab me.

Libra of Nil Admirari: Although I like the heroine and she might be one of the strongest reverse harem heroines I’ve seen, the plot itself is very... eh. The guys are also very uninteresting so far. There’s also the fact that Tsumugi claims to have no interest in men or love, but this being a reverse harem with a bevy of men starved for her attention makes me worry this’ll end with her being “fixed” by an actual nice guy who is worthy of her or something. But the OP is very cute!

Hatewatch

Darling in the Franxx: Boy oh boy, the otaku have been creaming their pants and tearing their clothes off for the last three weeks, but “Don’t call it Fucking, It’s Making Love” in the Franxx’s greatest achievement in my eyes is going for idiotically offensive to just bland and clichéd. A recent AMA on reddit with the producer seems to imply that none of the themes of sex, gender and heterosexism that have been at the core of the show were even properly thought out, nor were their implications even remotely considered. I don’t know if the show’s heterosexism would be worse if it was active propaganda rather than what it seems to be: a bunch of ideas the producers thought would be “cool” and “titillating” with no particular meaning to them. Also we’re 15 episodes in and all we’ve achieved is Palurdo has finally tamed his beast waifu who is Not Like Other Girls. Oh, and I guess the monsters actually had humans in there, what a shocker, never seen that before, never expected such a clever twizzzzzzzz....

Mid Priority

Tokyo Ghoul: Re : I thought I was done with Tokyo Ghoul after trying to read the manga and being bored shitless by all the unnecessary exposition, but this one, while not quite excellent, managed to pique my interest. The conceit of Kaneki losing his memories and joining the Doves and helping in exterminating ghouls I’m super not interested in, but his encounter with Nishio has made me curious enough about what has happened with the rest of the characters to keep watching for now.

Rokuhodou Biyori: The iyashikei show of the season I guess. The guys’ personalities are a little bland, so I might bump it down to the chopping block, but it’s only been two episodes, so I want to give it a fair chance

Persona 5: My history with Persona has never been good. Episode 1 of P4 made me sleep, and I watched the first P3 movie THREE TIMES and never managed to parse wtf it was about. This show shares some of the same problems in making me struggle to pay attention, but at least so far the plot seems interesting, the visuals are creative and striking, and I really like the main character’s design. I’m also more inclined to keep watching because Sayokan directed the OP for the videogame.

Hisone to Masotan: There’s a cynical part of me that watches this show and feels like I’m watching a commercial for the JSDF. Yvan eht nioJ, come join us, we have cool dragons!!! I also don’t love the fact that the dragon turns into a plane :/ BUT the characters have a lot of heart, the dynamics so far between Hisone and Masotan and Hisone and Kanzaki have been very touching. A part of me though, wishes Hisone had stuck with Otofu because it’s such a cute name and she sounded really funny yelling “OTOFU!!!”

Safe Sequels

Although some of these sequels would go in higher categories, I was unsure about how to rank them -especially the 2-cour ones- compared to some of my top premieres of the season, so I’m just putting them all together because there are A LOT of sequels.

Yowapeda Glory Line: FINALLY SOMETHING POSITIVE HAPPENED FOR SOHOKU. I was starting to feel exhausted with all the gloominess, especially for seeing Teshima punished, HE DESERVES EVERY GOOD THING. Now we can get back on track and hopefully have a fun race without Teshima brooding all the way through the episode. ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE EXCELLENT TESHIAO CONTENT

Nanatsu no Taizai: FINALLY ESCANOR SHOWED UP. It’s felt like the first half of the show dragged a lot compared to the manga, so I’m happy we’ve reached one of the coolest parts. Though if memory serves, the rest of the season will be spent floundering around, but damn, the Escanor vs Galand battle is very satisfying to watch.

Lupin III Part V: So this time around they’ve added the social media factor into Lupin’s adventures, and so far the result has been quite interesting. I don’t have a lot to say, the artstyle looks closer to classic versions of the franchise and has lost some of the edge from part IV, but the comedy and Lupin’s plans are still creative and fun to watch, even adding a unique spin to the social media component, so I’m excited to see where they take this. But we need more Fujiko yesterday pls

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu Happy Kiss: A soft reboot of this magical girl parody franchise, with frillier costumes and even more ridiculous attacks and transformations, and I’m here for it. I do wish we’d get at least some cameos from the original gang. I also feel that so far, apart from the Red guy (Kyotaro?) the others don’t seem to have much of a distinctive personality. It’s only episode three, so hopefully that’s something we’ll see developed as the show goes on.

Hozuki no Reitetsu: It’s the same as it’s always been, a brilliantly dry workplace comedy. If you haven’t watched the previous seasons, you’re missing out on one of the best comedies of this decade.

Boku no Hero Academia 3: After the recap first episode, the series has gone back full gear ahead into the next story arc and so far it looks pretty cool. Although I’m never a fan of “regular MC activity gets interrupted by villains”. Idk why it bothers me a lot -a prime example being the S Class exam getting cut short in Fairy Tail and the concept of S Class mages completely ditched thereon after. But anyway, I have faith in the writing that they’ll make this villain interruption cool and worth it. I do however wish they’d let us meet the Class B guys better.

Steins;Gate 0: You know, I was 100% ready to be disappointed and abandon this one right away, but damn, damn have these first two episodes been brilliant. The nuances in Okabe’s characterization, the portrayal of his grief, and his more mature attitude seem like a mirror of the watcher who has grown all the same in the seven years since the show’s original season. I’m hoping the teases about Maho as a potential love interest are a red herring, but other than that, I’m blown away by how good it has been so far. Just delete Daru please.

Card Captor Sakura: Clear Card: Things have started happening! We’re starting to see that Akiho’s mysterious book is somehow having an effect over the events of Sakura’s life. The episode with the animals was particularly strong, with a new card that had a nice renovated design, and a really emotionally effective scene of Sakura and Syaoran embracing to help Sakura regain confidence to save her friends. It’s one of the strongest episodes of the series so far, so hopefully we’ll have more of those and less of the “finding a card that only minimally makes 10 cm from a bookshelf disappear” type. As a sidenote, I find Akiho’s obsession with Sakura’s play a bit offputting.

High Priority

Mahou Shojo Ore: Given how little I knew about this series going in and how excited I was about it in spite of it, I’m pleased to report the show has lived up to my expectations in one way or another. The weird comedy is on point and also everyone is fucking gay. I’m rooting for you Blue Girl! Easily the superior show with Mahou Shoujo in its title.

Hinamatsuri: You know, I didn’t have super high expectations for this one, but it’s turned out to be a very nice surprise. It has that charming paternal relationship between Nitta and Hina that is cute and hilarious. I have to say I’m not super into the classmate-forced-to-become-a-bartender storyline and I’m not sure how that even fits with the rest of the show, so I hope there won’t be a lot of vignettes about it.

Piano no Mori: Wonky CGI and occassionally questionable character design choices (Ajino was so BEAUTIFUL in his youth, why does he look so ridiculous in the present?!!!) aside, this has been one of the strongest premieres of the season. I know fans of the manga have criticized it, but as someone unfamiliar with the original, I’m definitely intrigued by this story.

BESTEST

Megalobox: This one wasn’t on my radar at all. It’s one of those numerous cases of me seeing a title that sounds stupid and deciding to ignore the show based on that alone. I’m glad I stumbled on all the praise the premiere episode received because damn is it good. The story behind the cameras is that this is a 50th anniversary project for Ashita no Joe, and it was meant to be a reboot, but the director couldn’t find a way to make it work, so he created something entirely new, and aren’t we glad about that. It has a unique retro look and although the plot beats do call back to Ashita no Joe, our Joe feels like his own person alright. I think my only nitpick is that I’m not entirely sure of what is even the point of the additional gear. Also, I know how Ashita no Joe ends and I hope this show won’t end like that too :’D

Golden Kamuy: How long has it been since the last time a multi-awarded manga not only wasn’t disappointing but ended up being one of the most promising anime adaptations of the season? Yes, everyone’s seen the ugly CGI bear, moving on, this is a captivating and unique historical show with a so far excellent portrayal of Ainu culture and a kickass lady coprotagonist.  I am really excited to see where this one will go. Also, it was really exciting to hear characters actually speaking ainu language. I’ve done some research on Ainu history (and kickass Ainu women) for school, so I’m very pumped about this one.

Otaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii: By far my favorite premiere of the season. So far, two episodes in, it’s all I ever hoped it would be and more. The characters are charming, Narumi and Hirotaka’s relationship feels natural and effortless -both the romantic aspect of it, and the way they easily become comfortable with one another-. Narumi is delightful and very well-rounded, being as cheerful and optimistic as she can be cynical, and her quick-developing friendship with Hanako is so violently relatable I was screaming. I really love this show. ALSO THE OP IS SUPER CUTE

I FINALLY FINISHED WRITING THIS IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME

[jimmycarrhairlinesurgery]

hey abby guess what. 1-30

1: Favorite season?

you KNOW you KNOW a softe bitch loves season 5 its just pure and nice and comforting to watch and also has so many goode episodes and macden moments in it... i literally have the url iasipseasonfive saved like need i say more

2: Favorite character?

its mac... like ofc it is ive loved dennis and dee in the past and of course i still have a soft spot for the trash twins esp their childhoods but mac’s coming out arc is just perfect and he just wants to be a happy boye! honestly it might change but my big three are den dee and mac sorry gruesome twosome 

3: Favorite cast member?

i kin glennato and like LOVE his weird music taste but i have 2 say kaitlin olson shes so present on social media and the utter reverence with which the other cast members speak abt her is just. beautiful! she’s credited with literally saving the show by making dee just as despicable as the rest of the gang she’s a feminist queen and also managed to cuff rmacelhenney like kudos girl! angel queen gorgeous etc

4: OTP?

it’s mac and dennis honestly their relationship can get my heart pounding and it was the main reason i was drawn to the show in the first place... kings of being repressed sexually and emotionally and honestly i related to that feeling of being repressed and in love w your best friend like not to project on characters that have nothing to do w me but they rlly helped me work through some issues!!! im not as ride or die as before because theyve already done so much but fingers crossed for s14 lads

5: BROTP?

ooooo this is difficult bc i love charmac but mac and dee is the friendship we deserve.... she could help him get over his raging misogyny and he could introduce her to the gay lifestyle how perfect would that be?? also i just feel like when they r alone they could be so nice to each other and i want that for them

6: NOTP?

one of them raped the other, what more can i say?

7: answered

8: Least favorite character?

it has to be frank like i get so angry thinking about how he abused dennis and dee as children he has almost zero redeemable qualities but like.. i could learn to love him if mfhp was a turning point... i just can’t ever get over the fact that he owned a sweatshop the joke stuff just isn’t even funny to me it makes me feel ill

9: Least favorite episode?

uhhhh if you’ve seen iasip ranked you’ll know that we ranked a cricket’s tale and frank’s brother as the worst but i’d also like to put up there the gang goes on family fight bc dennis’ breakdown is painfullll... other episodes that hurt me personally are the gang broke dee and how mac got fat

10: Favorite crack ship?

deetress started off as a crackship but it’s become honestly very serious and i hold it v close to my heart... if you don’t believe me watch one single minute of the boggs ladies reboot.... honorable mention is charden 

11: Favorite headcanon?

hhmm i think that one of my favourite ones of all time is dennis is the bar like that was inimitable... also like hc that dee is lesbian bc she is

12: An episode you wish you could change?

all lethal weapon episodes... imagine how iconic they could be and quotable as well if they didn’t include blackface :(

13: An episode you wish you could write?

i want to write a vegas ep for sure.... like imagine also i would NOT do it justice but the episode where mac and dennis first get together, oof actually you’d do a better job of it tbh

14: Favorite thing about the show?

it has to be rcg like what other showrunners would care so much about the fate of the show and adapt it so much as time goes on... as much as i slander them on this website they really created one of the best shows to ever air

15: Least favorite thing about the show?

hmmm aside from all the blackface and the fact that they should have hired black writers if they wanted to address race in the show.... the fact that the gang r being so mean to mac and the whole ddl thing it’s a nightmare why didn’t they tell us what was going on with dennis??

16: Favorite running gag?

charlie’s illiteracy......... iconique also repressed mac was a good gag while it lasted i am glad he is out though

17: Best Mac shirt?

BEAST COAST

18: Best Dennis rant?

hnndg im gonna have to say the whole keeping the skin,, skin glass box thing in season 10 i forget the name of the episode but GOD that kills me every time glenn really went to julliard huh

19: answered

20: answered

21: Favorite end credits message?

idk i never watch the end credits messages! send me your favourites if you have any lads :)

22: A character you’d write off the show?

ngl probably cricket... he really bores me and like a cricket’s tale cemented that i think everything they can do with the character they have done but for longevity they have to keep him so he can supplement the gang’s schemes

23: An actor you want to see on the show (bonus points if you can think of a character for them)?

ooooooooo i’d love if dax sheppard came back on the show!! also i WISH lili reinhardt could come on but as betty from riverdale.. like a 30 second betty from riverdale cameo would be so ideal you have no idea it would be so stupid but like... hh

24: Favorite fic?

Yphrum’s Law by @lesbianfreyja chapter one made me BAWL (andchaos on ao3) and also anything by @macfoundhispride (yennefers on ao3)  and also your fics michelle !!! everyone go check her out she’s peraltiagoisland on ao3 

25: Favorite promo shoot?

the fuckign ingrid bergman one for season 8 i have no idea why they would do that but it’s incredible..... so niche i feel like it was glennato’s idea

26: Best Waitress hair-style?

sexeyyy episode charlie and dee find love her hair was so pretty long but also i love it now im glad she went brunette again good for her!! any waitress hairstyle is a good hairstyle

27: Fluffy hair Mac or hair-gel Mac?

FLUFFY HAIR MAC ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

28: answered in GREAT DETAIL

29: Overrated character?

cricket... not to bash cricket again.... but also frank and charlie are overrated imo i can’t understand why charlie is the show’s darling i’ve never been that interested in him

30: Underrated episode?

the most underrated episode of all time is pop-pop the final solution i love it sm.... GOD it’s so good it truly has everything and like the nazi stuff was well executed.. questions abt life and death,,, deception, ryan gosling? i love it also dennis reynolds an erotic life is amazing 

this took me like an hour and a half michelle i hope you’re happy!! also if you’re still reading thank you for putting up w my bullshit

[happymeishappylife]

TV Shows I Watched in 2020

Now some of this list are just seasons I watched for the shows I’m currently watching and are still airing while others I watched the entire show. I was only really able to do this because I worked from home for 6 months and when I started in my new position I was close enough to come home for lunch where I could watch quick 20-25 minutes before going back to the office. Still I was able to finish a lot of shows that were on my Netflix queue for years and catch up on ones I fell behind on. I also started a few that I’m excited to keep watching into next year. Here’s what I watched:

1. Good Omens

Thank you Neil, for all your hard work and creative input to make this delightful mini-series. This is how I wish all books were transformed on screen. With enough time and attention to detail to make the story shine through. Yes there were some differences between book and show, but ultimately it is one of the most true-to-book versions of live screen adaptation that I’ve seen. Plus everyone loves Michael Sheen and David Tennant and they were absolutely fabulous in this.

2. Parks and Recreation

I watched all seven series over the summer and not only were they hilarious and fun, they were a comfort. Leslie’s dedication to do good in her public service role and her devotion to make change in her town, no matter how crazy or ridiculous the plan was. It also it nice to think that their were people that dedicated to their job in a service line I work with pretty closely in my own work. I also loved the crazy personalities of all of her friends and enjoyed the character growth throughout.

3. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (S6 & 7)

I may have mentioned this, but this was one show whose finale I felt did its characters justice. Yes the seasons have gone all over the place, yet it never felt so far fetched because in the end, it was just fun. Even with some of the more heartbreaking cliffhangers. I feel all the characters growth was organic and not forced and that the actors’ relationships, shine in their characters which made whatever crazy story was going on that much more engaging. I don’t think I’ll be watching any of the Disney+ series, but I am sad to see this Marvel series end. It’s been a great right.

4. Doctor Who (S12)

Anytime there is new Doctor Who, it’s a good year. Especially having gone a whole year without it (please don’t do that again! >.<), but I’ll admit it wasn’t my favorite on my first watch. I’m in the process of watching Jodie’s seasons again before the New Year Special, one to be in the mindset for the special, but also to give series 12 a better shot because I’ll admit, I had a lot of bad mental stuff going on while watching the rollercoaster of the season. I still enjoy it, despite the canon breaking/making shenanigans that is Doctor Who and I still can’t wait to see where they take it next. Also Sacha Dhawan, had an amazing performance of the Master (even if I’m sad that the Missy arc got completely ignored, lol).

5. Penny Dreadful (S2 & S3)

I started Penny Dreadful a couple years ago and got busy so never finished. What I enjoyed was that picking it back up where I left was easy. That and just the nature of the storytelling to be a good horror/drama show and really give new life to some of our beloved monsters and horror heroes. Victor Frankenstein’s arc working not only to love or accept his monsters, but the team up with Dr. Jekyll in a question of morality was great. Seeing a werewolf have mythology in Native American roots (even if the main actor was white... small pet peeve though I enjoyed Josh Harnet’s character) and having the final enemy be the one and only Dracula was great. Vanessa Ive’s story was also great through the whole series. My only dissapointment was Dorian’s picture wasn’t that scary and more just pitiful which is a shame because Reve Carney’s potrayal was fantastic.

6. Legends of Tomorrow (S4 &5)

When I caught up on the DC shows this year, I mentioned this but its still true, Legends is the best show of the bunch and it purely because they don’t take themselves seriously. Yes, you can have good drama and good moral lessons in super hero shows, but part of the show should also be to have fun as heroes. And Legends embodies that for all of them. It does genre episodes like Bollywood, Horror, Sitcoms, and its just fun. And it still makes its characters matter which is why it was sad to see Ray Palmer leave. But it has that energy of Doctor Who which is constant evolution in the cast and the characters which also makes it fresh and something the other shows lack.

7. How to Train Your Dragon: Race to the Edge

When I added this show to my queue a few years ago, I didn’t know if it was supposed to be purely a goofy kids show or still embody the spirit of the movies. It’s set between movies 1 & 2 through all six seasons and while yes it has its silly moments where it tries to do modern things in a viking setting, I still found the heart, bravery, and kindness that came from the original movie. Watching these six teenagers on the verge of adulthood tackle huge issues and learn more about dragons and the world around them was just as rewarding. I also think it is a great show to enjoy as an adult but also for kids to understand big ideas like grief. And at the end it just felt comforting to watch.

8. Black Lightening (S2 & 3)

I know I just said that I love Legends because it doesn’t take itself seriously, but the one show that did and did it well was Black Lightening. It’s a great new perspective on super heroes in the eyes of Black America. And at times it was hard to watch, but necessary. It tackles racism, injustice, and poor systematic issues that the Black community has had to deal with and still deals with and also gives them power via the Pierce family being incredible new and fresh superheroes. The representation of also having strong leads, most female with one of them being a Lesbian, is also huge and matters in the media landscape. It’s one of the few shows I enjoy on the network and I’m curious to what other stories can be told.

9. Stargirl (S1)

The main reason this show is good is because it doesn’t follow most other superhero shows. The ‘heroes’ don’t know how to keep their secrets because they are all goofy teenagers, the villains are well established while the heroes still are missing their full team, and the dilemmas of high school are some of the main focus in the show. Plus the musical soundtrack is amazing! It’s fun, it doesn’t have grit, but the problems are real and because I don’t know anything really about the Justice Society of America, I’m excited to learn about new and not as mainstream heroes.

10. Supernatural (S14 & 15)

An era has ending and everyone on this site knows this because Destiel ‘happened’ and Tumblr exploded, lol. To think that this show won’t be on anymore is kinda sad, but at the same time it ended and at least to me, ended as satisfactorily as I could have hoped given the amount of time these characters have died and come back, ended the world and saved it, and have just done random stuff that doesn’t make sense. I enjoyed the ending. I was super sad about Castiel, but it did tie up a loose end. And now that its over I can say I did watch it. I was in a super special place to have started it when I did in college and I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to anyone, but it was an interesting ride all told.

Other Shows I watched:

11. American Horror Story ( S1 & 2)

12. Nokdu Flower

13. Batwoman (S1)

14. Supergirl (S4 & 5)

15. Knights of Sidonia

16. Street Foods Asia

17. World’s Most Extraordinary Homes (S3)

18. Arrow (S7 & 8)

19. The Flash (S5 & 6)

I also rewatched a couple shows because thanks to Netflix I could. They were good comfort shows to get back to when I was going into the unknown this summer:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender

2. Avatar: Legend of Korra

3. Cardcaptor Sakua

4. Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card

[kingofthewilderwest]

top 5 Star Wars Movies?

My list of top five favorite Star Wars movies is going to be like no one else’s but here we go. XD Thanks for the fun prompt!

First, for those who notice this trend and are curious as to why: I’m not putting Rogue One, The Last Jedi, or The Force Awakens on this list. I’ve seen each movie only once so my opinions on them haven’t solidified, so I can’t easily emotionally put them on this list yet. Chances are that, after a few more watchings of Rogue One, it’d hit somewhere in the #4 or #5 range, while TFA and TLJ wouldn’t be in the top five list. So this list would probably be pretty much the same even if I did include the latest Star Wars movies, which are always a thrill to attend the theatre to see.

SO HERE WE GO!!! Haddock’s list. This is based entirely on my emotional attachment to the movies and not on objective features of storytelling quality.

5. Attack of the Clones

While most people herald Revenge of the Sith as the “best” prequel trilogy movie, and I understand why, personally that one for me had the fewest gripping arcs - especially when I was a kid and this movie was first coming out. The opening battle in III is where I have the most fun (good visuals, hysterical antics between Obi-Wan and Anakin, great action). Then after that, I’m less appealed in ROTS. 

Attack of the Clones, on the other hand, has some plot arcs that truly do jive with me. The final climactic moment when war breaks out is long action fun, I believe the chemistry between Anakin and Padme is the strongest in this episode of any of the live action films, and the opening Zam Wesell chase scene is a blast.

4. The Phantom Menace

Okay. But. This movie is my childhood. It came out right before I entered the first grade, and that was the perfect time for it to be formative. I was at the young, innocent age that could legitimately enjoy Jar Jar (and hell did I love Jar Jar). 

But, even more: Podracers. were. my. life. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. To this daaaaay I can obsessively list off every single podracer alien and vehicle from Star Wars Episode I Racer and analyse how each of their pods handle. I can recognize everyone’s flags still, for fuck’s sake. I passed that game so many times and I could do it without buying a single upgrade. This last year I figured out how to get that old game to work on my new laptop. I owned (and still do own) many minis of the podracers that I could race across our family’s hardwood floors. I made a twenty minute long stop motion podracing movie with my Lego sets! 

Podracers influenced my first grade self to create my own galaxy with its own set of racers - a huge kickstarter to many childhood tales I wove - which in turn kickstarted many other stories I wrote, worlds I built, and on and on and on. It was a boost of my own creativity, world building, and dreaming of heroes. For that reason alone, I have to give The Phantom Menace #4 on my list. My creative writing worlds would be so completely different without it.

3. The Empire Strikes Back

I’ll admit a somewhat unpopular opinion: I personally never fell into the groove that TESB was the best SW original trilogy movie. I know why it was revolutionary but that doesn’t mean I find it the strongest and most appealing film. It doesn’t jive for me in the same way that IV and VI do. From childhood to adulthood, I always have felt the least connected with this one of the original trilogy. TESB to me lacks the same sense of heroics, emotional heart, and achievement. 

Perhaps that’s because many of this movie’s arcs involve characters just getting into issues - Luke nearly dying on Hoth, Luke not jiving with Yoda during Jedi training, the Millennium Falcon going through technical difficulties, Lando betraying the main gang, Han Solo getting captured. 

But what hits me more is plot structure, which is always something I’m majorly sensitive to when it comes to drawing to movies. This movie’s plot has less to start from and “conclude” with, since it’s a middle chapter, and middle chapters are about unraveling and problems brewing. That’s just the nature of middle chapters. They do a good job but it’s still that “unraveling” middle chapter. Since we don’t have that same sense of firm ground and motion and conclusion, it makes the plot not as structurally appealing to me (even if SW movie scaffolding is pretty consistent until TLJ or Rogue One). 

Finally, some conflict arcs like the broken Falcon and Luke’s Jedi training, while fun, don’t stand out to me as do Ewoks, destroying Death Stars, podracers, or a top-speed city chase.

2. Return of the Jedi

The conclusion of Star Wars is great and memorable. It’s got great, memorable moments start to end, be it blinded Han tryin to shoot a Sarlacc tentacle, Luke heroically standing up to the Sith, or Lando piloting the Falcon in an attempt to blow up the second Death Star. Return of the Jedi has momentum, many things happening, and a happy, fulfilling conclusion.

1. A New Hope

There’s nothing like the original story to me. To me, it’s the classic, unsurpassable model of Star Wars. It’s the one I draw to the most whenever I feel like entering the world of Star Wars, and it’s definitely the episode I watch the most. It’s what brought us all into this galaxy far far away - and there’s a good reason this movie caught our interests and imaginations. This is the movie that introduced lightsabers and Jedi, X-wings and rebels, Stormtroopers and Darth Vader. I love the variety of adventure we get into, from bumblingly rescuing a princess, to boldly flying X-wings into the Death Star’s trenches. And it introduces the characters, the fun and humorous character dynamics, and everything it means to be a story of Star Wars.

[whiteladyofrohann]

When did you start shipping Jonsa?

Hey anon, only quite recently if I’m being honest. Originally, Iwas against the ship. Obviously they aren’t actually brother and sister butthey were raised as siblings and so I didn’t like it. Then I watched season 6and fell in love with the ship. There are obviously so many obstacles, but Kitand Sophie had absolutely amazing chemistry that the obstacles didn’t bother meanymore and now all I want is Jon to marry Sansa and them to have childrennamed Eddard, Robb, Catelyn and Rickon. After watching season 6, I then re-readall the books, and although Jon and Sansa don’t actually interact, there are alot of things in the books that I immediately went ‘Omg Jonsa’.

S6 was perfect for the two of them. Whether you are a Jonsashipper or not, you have to say that the reunion was perfect. We’ve beenwaiting for a Stark reunion for years now, and so I thought, perhaps there’s adeeper meaning why it’s these two who reunite first. It was a beautiful scenethat made me cry, but it was the following scene that made me get on board theJonsa train. (Rest is under the cut because it’s a long one).

We hadn’t seen Jon or Sansa truly smile for a long time, andthey both were laughing and smiling at each other. It was wonderful to seethese two lost souls connect and light up and agree to fight for their home,for their family. And the scene at the end of episode 4 where Jon and Sansadecide to fight to take Winterfell back is another scene I love. But they’restill kind of awkward around each other. But that is something I love as well.Everyone knows there are many parallels between Jonsa and Ned/Cat. Addawkwardness in the beginning to those parallels. I imagine that the beginningof Ned and Cat’s marriage was very awkward, between Brandon and the woman Nedwouldn’t name, but we know that Ned is just genuinely awkward around women, atrait he passed along to Jon, because Jon’s biological father certainly had noproblem. These are obviously two very different scenarios, but I love that thefirst few Jonsa scenes are kind of awkward and the couple they mirror in somany ways developed from that into arguably the most loving relationship on theshow, and I felt that Jon and Sansa could follow that development.

Cut to episode 5, and we getthe scene where she hands him the cloak. I love this scene. It’s probably oneof the greatest gifts that Jon has ever received, and it comes from Sansa. Jon’senquiry about Sansa’s dress is another lovely choice, since my brother doesn’t carewhat dress I wear. My brother only comments when I have an awful choice inclothing, but Jon here comments that he likes Sansa’s dress, and then returnsto the awkwardness by saying he likes the wolf bit, almost retracting what hesaid before because he’s embarrassed. He then looks shocked when she gives himthe gift, and genuinely didn’t expect it. When she walks off, the small smilehe makes is another of my favourite moments.

There weren’t many Jonsastandout moments in episode 7, but in episode 9, there were plenty. They lookedlike a true power couple when they were side by side racing off against Ramsay.Take this line from the original script ‘Theylook beautiful and majestic, sitting there with Winterfell in the background’. Abeautiful, majestic couple back at their home. This is followed by theirargument scene in the tent, which is mostly fuelled on fear. Jon fears Rickonwill die, Sansa fears Jon will die, and then the argument ends with Sansatelling Jon she will kill herself if he loses. He looks heartbroken at that,and their argument stops dead. After the battle, Jon letting Sansa have thekill is a big moment as well, not necessarily a shipper moment, but it showsagain how compatible the two are.

The next scene we see themboth together is the scene on the balcony and it was another beautiful scene. There’san undeniable tension between the two and this scene demonstrates that. They openup to each other, confide in each other, offer each other the Lord’s Chambers,which they should share, but then we get the forehead kiss. A real tendermoment. And after it, Jon stares into Sansa’s eyes, even looks down at herlips. I don’t know any brother who looks at his sister that way. That was not aplatonic look, Kit Harington needs to learn how to look at his sister becausethat certainly had romantic vibes. Then Sansa makes Jon give the biggest smilein all 6 seasons we’ve seen him in.

Continuing on the smilefront, I’m pretty sure Jon smiles more in S6 around Sansa than he has done inthe rest of the seasons combined. Both of them seem freer and more relaxedaround each other than we’ve ever seen them. There’s also the lingering gazesthat both of them give each other. As I mentioned, platonically we don’t lookat our siblings the way Jon and Sansa looked at each other.

Season 7 comes along andthere is no doubt a power struggle between the two, but they argue almost likea married couple. They have each other’s best interests at heart. In episode 2when Jon is leaving and Sansa speaks out, she isn’t doing this because she istrying to undermind him, she is doing it because she loves him and doesn’t wanthim to meet the same fate as every other Stark in the south. She wants him tobe smarter than Ned and Robb, she doesn’t want him to die. In return, he doesn’twant her to be harmed, he threatens LF, a man he knows does not have her bestinterest at heart. He turns around to wave goodbye to her, rather than justwalking off, and it is emotional, and he’s worried that he’s leaving her, andshe’s worried that he’s going south.

Obviously that was the lastinteraction we’ve seen of them, but that didn’t stop them mentioning eachother. Sansa:

‘I wish Jon were here’ (Episode 3)

‘I hope he comes back soon’ (Episode 4)

‘Jon is our King’ (Episode 5)

Jon longs for home while he’son Dragonstone, he doesn’t like the south. And I love the reactions he makeswhen people talk about Sansa.

I’m sure we will see manyJonsa interactions in the show in S8, though she won’t be happy with him forbending the knee so that could cause problems. The Northmen don’t like theTargaryens, and won’t be happy with Jon. Jon’s claim on the North is very weakas it is, especially with three Starks in Winterfell and Sansa doing very well.If Jon has made an alliance with a Daenerys and then it’s revealed he’s aTargaryen, the Northmen may not want him as a King. What is the best way forhim to retain his status, to marry Sansa. Sansa who has no Targaryen ties, whowas born in Winterfell, who is a Stark. If Jon marries Sansa, it’ll mean hischildren are Ned Stark’s grandchildren, something that will mean a lot to him. Butpolitically in the North, this marriage would make sense.

In the books, there aren’t asmany clear cut Jonsa moments, but there are passages that mirror well and I lovethem:

“Frogfaced Lord Slynt…remembering how he had thrown down her father for Ser Ilyn tobehead, wishing she could hurt him, wishingthat some hero would throw him down and cut off his head.” (Sansa VI, GOT)

“Edd fetch me a block.” (Jon II, ADWD).

Guess who Sansa’s hero whobeheads Janos is? It’s Jon. Next, look at one of Sansa’s heroes from herstories:

“Shecalled for the heroes from her songs, for Florian and Ser Ryam Redwyne and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, but no oneheard” (Sansa IV, ACOK)

“‘I’m Prince Aemon the Dragonknight’ Jonwould call out, andRobb would shout back, ‘Well I’m Florian the Fool’. Or Robb would say, ‘I’m theYoung Dragon,’ and Jon would reply, ‘I’mSer Ryam Redwyne.” (Jon XII, ASOS)

This is a lovely parallel,and added to the fact that Jon executes Janos, it paints Jon as a hero toSansa, one of the heroes from her songs. Add the fact that I’m sure Jon’s namein the books is Aemon, it is an amazing bit of writing from George

There are other things in thebooks as well, but a favourite line of mine is “I am a bastard too now, just like him. Oh, it would be so sweet to seehim once again”. This is likely to happen in the books and I believe theywill reunite before the other Starks, still probably in TWOW. I just love somesubtle things in the books that scream Jonsa.

This kind of got long, but I justadore the ship and I have high hopes for the books at least, and I so wantJonsa to be endgame, no matter what has happened in the show, until episode 6of season 8, I have hope.

[sending-the-message]

My Work Is Haunted by amcma10

For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to be a nurse. When I was a little girl I would transform my room into a make shift infirmary. All my dolls would be bandaged up and I would even construct IV poles complete with ziplock baggies full of water and straws connecting to my "patients".

Fast forward to present day. I now work in a long term care facility and contrary to popular belief they aren't all depressing places where families drop off once loved relatives and then forget about them. We have a terrific Activities Director who makes sure there is something special planned for our residents every day. I know this not because I actually get to witness it, but because the calendar of events is prominently displayed at the entrance and throughout the halls.

By the time I get to work, which is roughly 5 minutes before my 7p-7a shift most of the residents are finishing up with supper and after their meds are dispensed they retire to their rooms for the night.

What I have neglected to mention about my place of employment is that it actually consists of two buildings. The main building or A building is a large brick structure that sits right up against the main road and the back building aka B building is much smaller and is connected to the larger building by a long covered breezeway.

I work in the B building which is the newest part of our facility that was constructed during the late 80's. The main building is much older, originally constructed in 1952 and was once the only hospital in the small rural town where I live. It was run by Catholic nuns and saw it's fair share of tragedy and unimaginable heartache. Some of the "lifers", a term of endearment we give our long time employees who transitioned over to the LTC facility after the hospital shut down used to regale us with stories that were both hysterical and soul numbing. While those tales were often embellished I could reference some of the facts from our "death book".

I remember the first time I had to access this book, I had only been on the job for a week when one of our geriatric residents passed away. All deaths must be recorded with the following: name, date, age of deceased, time of death, next of kin, address, followed by our signature.

When the hospital was in operation the "manner of death" was also listed. So many young lives taken too soon by accidental drownings, gun shot wounds, stabbings, MVA. I hate that damn book and have been vocal about our need for a new one. Unfortunately this is the way things are done in my county and for now the death book stays.

If any of you have ever worked in LTC then you are well aware that if anything can go wrong it does go wrong after midnight. Confused residents fall out of the bed, scream out due to hallucinations, attempt to leave AMA etc. Anyone who thinks "night shift nurses" have it easy need to be throat punched.

In any case, when we have someone in need of a safety alarm such as a bed alarm or chair alarm there is only one place at my work that houses the spare equipment.

The old ER, or dungeon as we call it. It is in the basement portion of the main building that also houses the kitchen, custodial offices, employee break room, an old chapel and several conference rooms. I hate going down there and usually I enlist the help of one of the CNA's to accompany me. This was mainly just for safety reasons. Once, a drunk man was able to gain access to the back door where the time clock was located and was found passed out against a drink machine near the employee break room. He was completely oblivious to where he was when the cops showed up and took him off in handcuffs.

In order to get to where the spare equipment room is located you must go through the swinging metal doors leading to the old ER. Past the doors there are several round metal speaker systems that hang out from the top of the walls and an assortment of old signage directing patients to the front desk, bathrooms, exam rooms and the radiology department. It truly looks like you stepped into an old episode of the Twilight Zone. Trust me when I say that walking down these halls by yourself is extremely unsettling.

Any way, about the dungeon. One night last November I needed a bed alarm for one of our newer residents who had fallen out of bed twice within 3 hours. Its our policy after the 2nd documented fall then we institute soft restraint measures to prevent injury. Being short a CNA that particular night I was forced to retrieve the alarm myself since there had to always be one employee on the floor at all times and Grace, one of my "lifer's" was elbow deep in shit at that moment.

It was a little past midnight when I grabbed my coat exited out into the frigid night walking the breezeway leading into the main building. The door to the main building from the breezeway opened up to a dimly lit hallway where directly in front of the doors stood a single elevator. I observed that the elevator door leading upstairs to the main floors was open. Odd. Unless someone is entering the elevator or exiting it the door remain closed. As if reading my thoughts the elevator door slowly closed and I watched as the "up arrow" glowed brightly.

I'm one of those people who can generally get freaked out by the slightest thing so already I was dreading my trek down the hall to the equipment room. As I walked along the corridor leading to the swinging metal doors it felt like the heating system was on the brinks. I could almost see my breath that's how drastically the temperature change was. In that moment I remembered every horror/scary movie I had ever seen where a sudden drop in ambient temperature meant that ghosts were present. I tried humming the Pharrell Williams song "Happy" to keep my mind from going to those terrifying thoughts.

After pushing through the metal doors I thought I saw a glimpse of movement off to my right. Perhaps one of the other nurses or CNA's from the two upper floors were down here getting equipment as well and I chastised myself for being such a scaredy-cat.

I quickened my steps and made it to the door marked "Radiology" which was where all our extra equipment was stored. During the time the hospital was in operation this was where all the x-rays were performed and it still held some of the ancient machines. I could hear movement as if someone were pushing a wheelchair or stretcher out of the way and again relief washed over me.

I opened the door and was immediately struck with fear. There was no one else in the room! Despite its size I would have been able to see someone even if they were crouched down looking through one of the storage bins. The air again was even more frigid in the room, so cold in fact that I actually could see my breath in front of me.

It felt downright silly but I uttered a shrill "Hello?" as I took a few steps inside. The door slammed shut behind me. Panic was now reaching every cell of my body and I could hear and feel my heart as it bounded in my chest. My mind raced as I turned behind me and tried the door knob. It was locked! I was way past terrified at this point and started banging on the door shouting at the top of my lungs. My voice bounced off the sickening green cement blocks that made up the walls. "Help!" I continued to scream to no avail. Then it happened.

A voice, so soft and faint came from the other side of the door. "Is it time?"

I moved back from the door and detected movement from the other side however even with the dim fluorescent light fixtures in the hall there should have been a shadow.

I swallowed hard even though my mouth was dry and my throat burned from my screaming. I listened again, waiting and the voice a little louder asked "I'm ready to go, is it time?" After those words were again uttered the soft sniffles of a child crying echoed through the room I was in. I remained motionless, frozen by fear when I heard another voice, much older say "Come on Lily, this way." I could hear the sound of footsteps leading away from the door.

Not even a minute later the door opened behind me and I screamed when I heard my name. "Janie?" He looked bewildered. It was Steve, one of the new CNA's from the 2nd floor coming to get a wheelchair. I must have looked like a ghost myself as I'm sure all the color had drained from my face. "Jesus they need to get the heat fixed down here" he said as he moved past me to grab the chair.

"Could you wait, just a minute while I grab a chair alarm?" I asked. Steve looked at me funny before breaking into a grin. "Why? You scared?" he snickered. Asshole.

Nevertheless he waited while I grabbed the alarm and I hauled ass down the hall and then broke into a jog after exiting the building before punching the code to get into my own building.

I made it back to my nurse's station and handed the alarm to Grace, the older CNA who had been keeping a watch on the halls and told her to take it to room 301. When she rounded the hall I opened my desk drawer and pulled out the death book. I don't know why I was compelled to do so but after flipping through and skimming several names I saw what made my heart drop to my stomach. NAME: Lily Robertson DATE: October 5th 1958, AGE: 5 CAUSE OF DEATH: Blunt force trauma to the head. I now know without a doubt that my work is haunted and sadly it was not an isolated incident.

[swearronchanel]

Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂  here goes nothing.. 

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN ***        1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?                                                 

 2) just please, because I’m asking nicely                                                     3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?               

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something!                                             5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it  

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt  

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before? 

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age”  IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones”  I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that  they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE😂

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will  be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them?  Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭

[timclymer]

A Bipolar Disorder Lesson From a Bipolar Patient’s Point-Of-View

When acquiring knowledge it is best to define terms either before or as they are being used. Let us begin by defining:

Bipolar (Affective) Disorder (manic-depression): a “mental disorder” exhibiting oscillating periods of elation and “clinical depression.” It is essentially a psychiatric diagnosis of elevated and depressive cognition, moods, behaviors and energy levels. The clinical term for the elated moods is “mania”. A gentler form is “hypomania.” Afterwards, bipolar individuals usually manifest either depressive symptoms or a “mixed state” in which features of both highs and lows are simultaneously present. These up-and-down events quickly slide through “average” mood zones enjoyed by the general population. For some folks,”rapid-cycling” between up-and-down mood levels occurs. Fierce manic episodes can exhibit delusions, psychosis and hallucinations. The bipolar mood range, in increasing levels of manic severity, are termed cyclothymia, hypomania (bipolar-II) and mania (bipolar-I). Descending levels of clinical depression are cyclothymia, depression (bipolar-II) and clinical depression (bipolar-I). Clinical depression alone is termed “unipolar.” [abridged-paraphrased Wikipedia “Bipolar Disorder” entry] The bipolar continuum (spectrum) is best illustrated verbally as follows:

MANIA (BIPOLAR-I)

HYPOMANIA (BIPOLAR-II)

CYCLOTHYMIA (HIGH)

AVERAGE MOOD HIGH

AVERAGE MOOD

AVERAGE MOOD LOW

CYCLOTHYMIA (LOW)

DYSTHYMIA (BIPOLAR II)

CLINICAL DEPRESSION (BIPOLAR I)

Patient moods are continuously variable as they ascend and descend this bi-directional spectrum, prompting Johns Hopkins leading Professor of Psychiatry, Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison and Bipolar I patient, to call bipolar disorder “this quicksilver illness.”

“Average Mood” is just another day at the office and at home with no cause for either sadness or celebration.

“Average Mood High” might be a time when you marry, birth a baby, earn a raise or win the lottery.

“Average Mood Low” could range from the loss of a favorite pet to the passing of a family member.

“Cyclothymia High” might be a time of extra energy and focus and general exuberance without drug use.

“Cyclothymia Low” can be a habit of extra sleepfulness or sleeplessness and a gloomy outlook.

“Hypomania” is a period of excess energy, high productivity, many achievements and goal-orientation.

“Dysthymia” is sluggishness, loss of normal interests, negativity and general malaise.

“Mania” is a time of grandiosity, rapid and pressured speech and frightening, erratic behaviors.

“Clinical or Major Bipolar Depression” is a total loss of interests and hope, often featuring suicidality

Here are a few American statistics:

Women suffer major depression twice as much as men

90% of all suicides result from clinical depression

Men and women suffer manic-depression equally

1 of 3 bipolar individuals will either attempt or complete the act of suicide

You have likely seen more than enough lists of manic and depressive visible behaviors, but it is important to adhere to those listed in the “Psychiatrist’s Bible,” DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). The DSM-5 will be published in May 2013. It is from these basic definitions that we can build a discussion and understand what is to follow. Here are the essential “Diagnostic Criteria for Manic Episode:”

Abnormally, persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood

Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity [w/uninhibited, skewed volition]

Decreased need for sleep, e.g., feeling rested after only 3 hours of sleep

More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking

Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing

Distractibility, i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli

Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work, at school or sexually) or psychomotor agitation

Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences, e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments

Mood disturbance sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in occupational functioning or in usual social activities or relationships with others, or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others

[Giving away money or cherished or valuable possessions]

I have included this last, bracketed symptom, as that has been my own personal experience during my bipolar I episodes and also that of many of my co-patients and manic-depressive friends. Although this frightening list is not intended for use by “armchair psychiatrists,” it is useful for spotting and obtaining professional help for a mood-challenged friend or family member. Mania reminds me of the metamorphosis that produces the “Incredible Hulk.” My bipolar-I episodes always involve an obsession-either “seeking true love” or “starting my own high-tech energy company.” Oh, the wonders of manic grandiosity!

Well, DSM-IV has been kind enough to help us understand what bipolar mania is. Here it does likewise for clinical depression in the form of “Diagnostic Criteria for Major Depressive Episode”:

Depressed mood (can be irritable mood in children and adolescents) most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated either by subjective account or observation by others

Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated either by subjective account or observations by others of apathy most of the time

Significant weight loss or weight gain when not dieting (e.g., more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day (in children, consider failure to make expected weight gains)

Insomnia or hypersomnia almost every day

Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down

Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day

Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)

Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)

Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

[Vegetative, catatonic; retarded or loss of motor skills; unable to commit the act of suicide]

Once again, this last, bracketed listing is based on my personal experience and that of many of my co-patients and manic-depressive friends. When taken together, all of these up-and-down states are can be peppered with psychosis, hallucinations and delusions, making a psychiatrist’s diagnosis that much more difficult to make. Bipolar diagnoses are primarily made by psychiatrists (64%), psychologists (18%), and general practitioners (13%). In suspected cases of mental issues it only makes sense to cut to the chase and make an appointment with a psychiatrist. This specially trained professional is best able to treat a mood disorder patient. There are also “mixed episodes” during which an individual will suffer both manic and depressive characteristics simultaneously-pure hell. Once correctly diagnosed, the patient and doctor will need three years, on average, to sculpt a useful combination of psychotropic (psychiatric) drugs to achieve acceptable patient mood stability, the goal of which is to reduce the frequency, duration and intensity of episodes. These potent drugs have wicked side-effects and must be a carefully selected combination chosen from the five major classes of psych medicines:

Mood Stabilizers

Antidepressants

Antipsychotics

Anxiolytics

Anticonvulsants

When the bipolar patient is manic, he or she is feeling good and is unlikely to visit a doctor unless coerced by another individual. That is why psychiatrists often diagnose manic-depressive patients with unipolar (depressive) disorder because the only time he gets to see the patient is when he or she is feeling bad. It is fascinating that nearly 70% of bipolar-disorder sufferers are misdiagnosed an average of 3.5 times before that correct diagnosis is dialed-in. The manic individual is on a “high” and feels wonderful-there is “no need” for a doctor.

Because bipolar or depressive disorders involve relative amounts of neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine) in the brain’s limbic system (that portion of the brain responsible for emotion, behavior, motivation and long-term memory), a paucity of them results in depression and a surplus of them results in mania. Neurotransmitters are what transmit electrical signals between nerve endings, and, in this case, those of the neurons found in the brain. Unfortunately, there are no physical tests, no “dipsticks,” blood tests, imaging, invasive or non-invasive medical techniques for determining the relative levels of these biochemicals. Bipolar disorder is every bit a physical disease as are diabetes, cancer and heart disease. Here are the ways psychiatrists must achieve their diagnoses for their mood patients:

Questioning the patient

Questioning family, significant others

Establishing a patient history

Behavioral observation

Reading body language

Evaluating speech characteristics

Combining the results of these presentations with knowledge and experience

Although bipolar disease can strike anyone at anytime, it usually can be traced to either a genetic component or a crippling physical, mental, or emotional stressor like child abuse or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) that produces tremendous amounts of anxiety and stress. On the genetic side, children having a sibling or parent with manic-depression have up to six times the likelihood of inheriting the disorder. Other predispositions and correlations for having bipolar disorder are having a Germanic heritage, a high IQ, or being an artist or scientist. Musicians, composers, poets, painters, philosophers, photographers, comedians, TV personalities, sculptors, etc., have an elevated risk of being bipolar when compared with the general population. My casual study of 277 famous persons revealed 84% were in those fields and suffer(ed) mood disorders. I can identify at least five triggers that launch bipolar episodes:

Stressors (including major life events); physical, mental and emotional

Substance abuse

Sleep deprivation and severe circadian rhythm disruption

Seasonal change

Medicinal side-effects

When it comes to religion, much of Christendom judges those having mental disorders as being sinful, shameful, lacking faith, weak, self-centered, selfish, storytellers, guilty or demon-possessed. Or “That is just an excuse, you are trying to get attention.” These judgments result in private upbraiding, public ridicule, shunning or excommunication. The affected person’s beliefs fail when his mind fails. Other significant world religions either quarantine or eradicate mentally persons (defectives) by using any means possible, including homicide. It is interesting to note the statistical incidence of people’s mood disorders is unaffected by any particular religious belief or affiliation.

Depression is the number three reason for doctor visits in America today and the class of psychiatric drugs prescribed is second only to analgesics (painkillers). It has historically taken an average of four doctors and ten years to correctly diagnose a case of bipolar disorder. Even today only 49% of those with manic-depression receive treatment. Most of the remainder, unaware of their disease, will unwittingly self-medicate with “feel-good” drugs, food, alcohol and wanton (hyper) sex. Denial can be a mental patient’s best friend. Bipolar disorder is very much like a “mood roller-coaster,” with rapid ascents into mania, yet slower descents into suicidal depression stemming from a loss of confidence, identity and neurotransmitter imbalances. Our thoughts race at disturbing speeds while manic. When depressed we feel envious of anyone who is not in our place. We must train others to understand us and help us no matter how impossible that seems. And we must live “in the moment” every day. Our only real duty is to avoid mood swings that steal our reason and cause the loss of hope that constitutes our desire for death.

Fortunately, these numbers are gradually trending better due to higher levels of awareness and today’s many campaigns against stigma and discrimination targeting the mentally ill. Stigma of the disorder is fueled by the popular media characterization of bipolar individuals as being crazed homicidal maniacs having murderous/suicidal intent. Stigma means “disapproval and disgrace.” It alienates its victims, creates undeserved prejudice against them, and produces a societal shame that delivers a powerful blow to those already suffering a horrific mental disease. Stigma is every bit as inappropriate for the mental patient as it would be for the heart or cancer patient!The sufferer considers herself a public “killjoy,” and hides it as best she can. She and others like her often cannot summon the self-esteem and confidence to share their emotional battles. Every societal aberrance appears to have its own equal and opposite form using the word “phobia.” Should those guilty of fear of the mentally ill be branded “psycho-phobes?” It has been my experience that, like “mean” drunks and “happy” drunks, there are both “mean” and “happy” individuals who suffer episodes of bipolar disorder. The “mean” and violent ones are only those who abuse drugs and alcohol. After all, violent persons aren’t born, they’re made.

Bipolar individuals, on average, will suffer 8 to 10 episodes over their lifetimes. It is living hell on earth without a cure. It can only be managed. The impact on society includes these facts:

Manic-depression is nearly the 2nd-highest reason for federal disability awards

Unemployment for mood disorder sufferers is 50% higher than the U.S. average

Bipolar patient lifespans are 9.2 years shorter than the nominal U.S. age of 78 years

Because drug therapy often requires 2-3 weeks to begin exhibiting a therapeutic effect, hospitalization may be indicated for the patient’s safety during a mood disorder episode. Sadly, “new and improved” healthy patient outlooks, beliefs and budding improved behavioral habits, when compared with previous behaviors, can actually spook family and friends and cause a separation of ways. Co-dependencies vanish. Outpatient counseling is often required to either prevent this ordeal or deal with its aftermath. A new setting may be a big boon to the psychiatric patient. Whether manic or depressed, the individual’s feelings must be moderated-restored to a stable range. Julie A. Fast has described a “centered” bipolar’s life as being possible, wonderful, having fun and enjoying one’s talents. I have also found these aspects of stability to be true and have reached my treasured state of serenity..

For me, clinical depression, a crafty adversary, produces the worst suffering. Its simplest definition is “anger turned inward.” A depressed patient must find a non-injurious, non-damaging way to vent those demons of anger to slam the brakes on a dangerously deepening depression.

Imagine awaking after being buried 6 feet under, the utter hopelessness of your shouts going unheard, unable to roll over in your coffin, claustrophobic. Clinical depression’s hopelessness is worse! Suicide easily becomes a viable, attractive option. In the words of Marybeth Smith, “… I just want to end the pain.” The wild mood swings of bipolar disorder in a sufferer have nothing to do with volition, choices or will. With depression, one may unknowingly begin to sink into the abyss of hopelessness.

“You can always think your way into a depression but cannot always think your way out [of one].” – Dr. Lewis Britton

At that point the only option is either drug therapy or ECT. Because psychiatric treatment usually involves only 15-minute “meds checks,” a patient must request a referral for a psychologist who can provide the “talk therapy” needed for the patient to work out thinking, behaviors, lifestyle and myriad other issues. Patients must be ascertain whether or not their psychiatrists and psychologists will communicate with one another to create a holistic continuum of care. The patient must learn habits of living including eating, exercise and sleeping habits. Mood disorder behaviors are non-volitional and re-learning healthy physical, mental and emotional habits is a must for preventing further mental mayhem. Friends and family can neither sympathize nor empathize, never having “been there.”

Serenity is my ultimate mental health goal. I have nearly achieved it by eliminating nearly most stressors in my life and it feels great. No problem distracts or bothers me anymore, most likely due to having already survived the worst that can happen to me at both extremes of bipolar mania and depression. In addition to Psychiatric and Psychological help are voluntary support groups, both physical and online. Internet forums and communities, if their members stay on-track, can be quite helpful for depressed and manic-depressive folks as episodes, doctors, medications and the like are hashed over and common ground is established for self-revelation, sharing and caring.

I am often asked whether there is 1) a greater number of mentally ill persons today, 2) if the bar is being lowered by the Psychiatric community to drum up more patients, or 3) whether there have always been so many of us in the past who were misunderstood, misdiagnosed or ignored. I am inclined to say that it is an amalgam of all three at the risk of sounding simplistic or “politically correct.” I say this because I believe all three propositions can easily be tied to the increasingly rapid advance of technology’s increasing impact on mankind over the decades. But I’m certainly open for any suggestions to the contrary.

In conclusion, “manic-depression” remains a “hot-button” topic today among health professionals, the media, patients and a confused public. Well-meaning websites and blogs litter the internet with both accurate and erroneous content and advice, and these venues must be fact-checked and negotiated with care. Although not up to academic standards, a Wikipedia search of “bipolar disorder” is probably the most handy and accurate source for the average inquisitor. Having read it myself, this mental patient recommends it for all concerned.

Source by Jeff C. Baker

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/a-bipolar-disorder-lesson-from-a-bipolar-patients-point-of-view/ via Home Solutions on WordPress from Home Solutions FOREV https://homesolutionsforev.tumblr.com/post/186128542500 via Tim Clymer on Wordpress

[homesolutionsforev]

A Bipolar Disorder Lesson From a Bipolar Patient’s Point-Of-View

When acquiring knowledge it is best to define terms either before or as they are being used. Let us begin by defining:

Bipolar (Affective) Disorder (manic-depression): a “mental disorder” exhibiting oscillating periods of elation and “clinical depression.” It is essentially a psychiatric diagnosis of elevated and depressive cognition, moods, behaviors and energy levels. The clinical term for the elated moods is “mania”. A gentler form is “hypomania.” Afterwards, bipolar individuals usually manifest either depressive symptoms or a “mixed state” in which features of both highs and lows are simultaneously present. These up-and-down events quickly slide through “average” mood zones enjoyed by the general population. For some folks,”rapid-cycling” between up-and-down mood levels occurs. Fierce manic episodes can exhibit delusions, psychosis and hallucinations. The bipolar mood range, in increasing levels of manic severity, are termed cyclothymia, hypomania (bipolar-II) and mania (bipolar-I). Descending levels of clinical depression are cyclothymia, depression (bipolar-II) and clinical depression (bipolar-I). Clinical depression alone is termed “unipolar.” [abridged-paraphrased Wikipedia “Bipolar Disorder” entry] The bipolar continuum (spectrum) is best illustrated verbally as follows:

MANIA (BIPOLAR-I)

HYPOMANIA (BIPOLAR-II)

CYCLOTHYMIA (HIGH)

AVERAGE MOOD HIGH

AVERAGE MOOD

AVERAGE MOOD LOW

CYCLOTHYMIA (LOW)

DYSTHYMIA (BIPOLAR II)

CLINICAL DEPRESSION (BIPOLAR I)

Patient moods are continuously variable as they ascend and descend this bi-directional spectrum, prompting Johns Hopkins leading Professor of Psychiatry, Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison and Bipolar I patient, to call bipolar disorder “this quicksilver illness.”

“Average Mood” is just another day at the office and at home with no cause for either sadness or celebration.

“Average Mood High” might be a time when you marry, birth a baby, earn a raise or win the lottery.

“Average Mood Low” could range from the loss of a favorite pet to the passing of a family member.

“Cyclothymia High” might be a time of extra energy and focus and general exuberance without drug use.

“Cyclothymia Low” can be a habit of extra sleepfulness or sleeplessness and a gloomy outlook.

“Hypomania” is a period of excess energy, high productivity, many achievements and goal-orientation.

“Dysthymia” is sluggishness, loss of normal interests, negativity and general malaise.

“Mania” is a time of grandiosity, rapid and pressured speech and frightening, erratic behaviors.

“Clinical or Major Bipolar Depression” is a total loss of interests and hope, often featuring suicidality

Here are a few American statistics:

Women suffer major depression twice as much as men

90% of all suicides result from clinical depression

Men and women suffer manic-depression equally

1 of 3 bipolar individuals will either attempt or complete the act of suicide

You have likely seen more than enough lists of manic and depressive visible behaviors, but it is important to adhere to those listed in the “Psychiatrist’s Bible,” DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). The DSM-5 will be published in May 2013. It is from these basic definitions that we can build a discussion and understand what is to follow. Here are the essential “Diagnostic Criteria for Manic Episode:”

Abnormally, persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood

Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity [w/uninhibited, skewed volition]

Decreased need for sleep, e.g., feeling rested after only 3 hours of sleep

More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking

Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing

Distractibility, i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli

Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work, at school or sexually) or psychomotor agitation

Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences, e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments

Mood disturbance sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in occupational functioning or in usual social activities or relationships with others, or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others

[Giving away money or cherished or valuable possessions]

I have included this last, bracketed symptom, as that has been my own personal experience during my bipolar I episodes and also that of many of my co-patients and manic-depressive friends. Although this frightening list is not intended for use by “armchair psychiatrists,” it is useful for spotting and obtaining professional help for a mood-challenged friend or family member. Mania reminds me of the metamorphosis that produces the “Incredible Hulk.” My bipolar-I episodes always involve an obsession-either “seeking true love” or “starting my own high-tech energy company.” Oh, the wonders of manic grandiosity!

Well, DSM-IV has been kind enough to help us understand what bipolar mania is. Here it does likewise for clinical depression in the form of “Diagnostic Criteria for Major Depressive Episode”:

Depressed mood (can be irritable mood in children and adolescents) most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated either by subjective account or observation by others

Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated either by subjective account or observations by others of apathy most of the time

Significant weight loss or weight gain when not dieting (e.g., more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day (in children, consider failure to make expected weight gains)

Insomnia or hypersomnia almost every day

Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down

Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day

Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)

Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)

Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

[Vegetative, catatonic; retarded or loss of motor skills; unable to commit the act of suicide]

Once again, this last, bracketed listing is based on my personal experience and that of many of my co-patients and manic-depressive friends. When taken together, all of these up-and-down states are can be peppered with psychosis, hallucinations and delusions, making a psychiatrist’s diagnosis that much more difficult to make. Bipolar diagnoses are primarily made by psychiatrists (64%), psychologists (18%), and general practitioners (13%). In suspected cases of mental issues it only makes sense to cut to the chase and make an appointment with a psychiatrist. This specially trained professional is best able to treat a mood disorder patient. There are also “mixed episodes” during which an individual will suffer both manic and depressive characteristics simultaneously-pure hell. Once correctly diagnosed, the patient and doctor will need three years, on average, to sculpt a useful combination of psychotropic (psychiatric) drugs to achieve acceptable patient mood stability, the goal of which is to reduce the frequency, duration and intensity of episodes. These potent drugs have wicked side-effects and must be a carefully selected combination chosen from the five major classes of psych medicines:

Mood Stabilizers

Antidepressants

Antipsychotics

Anxiolytics

Anticonvulsants

When the bipolar patient is manic, he or she is feeling good and is unlikely to visit a doctor unless coerced by another individual. That is why psychiatrists often diagnose manic-depressive patients with unipolar (depressive) disorder because the only time he gets to see the patient is when he or she is feeling bad. It is fascinating that nearly 70% of bipolar-disorder sufferers are misdiagnosed an average of 3.5 times before that correct diagnosis is dialed-in. The manic individual is on a “high” and feels wonderful-there is “no need” for a doctor.

Because bipolar or depressive disorders involve relative amounts of neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine) in the brain’s limbic system (that portion of the brain responsible for emotion, behavior, motivation and long-term memory), a paucity of them results in depression and a surplus of them results in mania. Neurotransmitters are what transmit electrical signals between nerve endings, and, in this case, those of the neurons found in the brain. Unfortunately, there are no physical tests, no “dipsticks,” blood tests, imaging, invasive or non-invasive medical techniques for determining the relative levels of these biochemicals. Bipolar disorder is every bit a physical disease as are diabetes, cancer and heart disease. Here are the ways psychiatrists must achieve their diagnoses for their mood patients:

Questioning the patient

Questioning family, significant others

Establishing a patient history

Behavioral observation

Reading body language

Evaluating speech characteristics

Combining the results of these presentations with knowledge and experience

Although bipolar disease can strike anyone at anytime, it usually can be traced to either a genetic component or a crippling physical, mental, or emotional stressor like child abuse or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) that produces tremendous amounts of anxiety and stress. On the genetic side, children having a sibling or parent with manic-depression have up to six times the likelihood of inheriting the disorder. Other predispositions and correlations for having bipolar disorder are having a Germanic heritage, a high IQ, or being an artist or scientist. Musicians, composers, poets, painters, philosophers, photographers, comedians, TV personalities, sculptors, etc., have an elevated risk of being bipolar when compared with the general population. My casual study of 277 famous persons revealed 84% were in those fields and suffer(ed) mood disorders. I can identify at least five triggers that launch bipolar episodes:

Stressors (including major life events); physical, mental and emotional

Substance abuse

Sleep deprivation and severe circadian rhythm disruption

Seasonal change

Medicinal side-effects

When it comes to religion, much of Christendom judges those having mental disorders as being sinful, shameful, lacking faith, weak, self-centered, selfish, storytellers, guilty or demon-possessed. Or “That is just an excuse, you are trying to get attention.” These judgments result in private upbraiding, public ridicule, shunning or excommunication. The affected person’s beliefs fail when his mind fails. Other significant world religions either quarantine or eradicate mentally persons (defectives) by using any means possible, including homicide. It is interesting to note the statistical incidence of people’s mood disorders is unaffected by any particular religious belief or affiliation.

Depression is the number three reason for doctor visits in America today and the class of psychiatric drugs prescribed is second only to analgesics (painkillers). It has historically taken an average of four doctors and ten years to correctly diagnose a case of bipolar disorder. Even today only 49% of those with manic-depression receive treatment. Most of the remainder, unaware of their disease, will unwittingly self-medicate with “feel-good” drugs, food, alcohol and wanton (hyper) sex. Denial can be a mental patient’s best friend. Bipolar disorder is very much like a “mood roller-coaster,” with rapid ascents into mania, yet slower descents into suicidal depression stemming from a loss of confidence, identity and neurotransmitter imbalances. Our thoughts race at disturbing speeds while manic. When depressed we feel envious of anyone who is not in our place. We must train others to understand us and help us no matter how impossible that seems. And we must live “in the moment” every day. Our only real duty is to avoid mood swings that steal our reason and cause the loss of hope that constitutes our desire for death.

Fortunately, these numbers are gradually trending better due to higher levels of awareness and today’s many campaigns against stigma and discrimination targeting the mentally ill. Stigma of the disorder is fueled by the popular media characterization of bipolar individuals as being crazed homicidal maniacs having murderous/suicidal intent. Stigma means “disapproval and disgrace.” It alienates its victims, creates undeserved prejudice against them, and produces a societal shame that delivers a powerful blow to those already suffering a horrific mental disease. Stigma is every bit as inappropriate for the mental patient as it would be for the heart or cancer patient!The sufferer considers herself a public “killjoy,” and hides it as best she can. She and others like her often cannot summon the self-esteem and confidence to share their emotional battles. Every societal aberrance appears to have its own equal and opposite form using the word “phobia.” Should those guilty of fear of the mentally ill be branded “psycho-phobes?” It has been my experience that, like “mean” drunks and “happy” drunks, there are both “mean” and “happy” individuals who suffer episodes of bipolar disorder. The “mean” and violent ones are only those who abuse drugs and alcohol. After all, violent persons aren’t born, they’re made.

Bipolar individuals, on average, will suffer 8 to 10 episodes over their lifetimes. It is living hell on earth without a cure. It can only be managed. The impact on society includes these facts:

Manic-depression is nearly the 2nd-highest reason for federal disability awards

Unemployment for mood disorder sufferers is 50% higher than the U.S. average

Bipolar patient lifespans are 9.2 years shorter than the nominal U.S. age of 78 years

Because drug therapy often requires 2-3 weeks to begin exhibiting a therapeutic effect, hospitalization may be indicated for the patient’s safety during a mood disorder episode. Sadly, “new and improved” healthy patient outlooks, beliefs and budding improved behavioral habits, when compared with previous behaviors, can actually spook family and friends and cause a separation of ways. Co-dependencies vanish. Outpatient counseling is often required to either prevent this ordeal or deal with its aftermath. A new setting may be a big boon to the psychiatric patient. Whether manic or depressed, the individual’s feelings must be moderated-restored to a stable range. Julie A. Fast has described a “centered” bipolar’s life as being possible, wonderful, having fun and enjoying one’s talents. I have also found these aspects of stability to be true and have reached my treasured state of serenity..

For me, clinical depression, a crafty adversary, produces the worst suffering. Its simplest definition is “anger turned inward.” A depressed patient must find a non-injurious, non-damaging way to vent those demons of anger to slam the brakes on a dangerously deepening depression.

Imagine awaking after being buried 6 feet under, the utter hopelessness of your shouts going unheard, unable to roll over in your coffin, claustrophobic. Clinical depression’s hopelessness is worse! Suicide easily becomes a viable, attractive option. In the words of Marybeth Smith, “… I just want to end the pain.” The wild mood swings of bipolar disorder in a sufferer have nothing to do with volition, choices or will. With depression, one may unknowingly begin to sink into the abyss of hopelessness.

“You can always think your way into a depression but cannot always think your way out [of one].” – Dr. Lewis Britton

At that point the only option is either drug therapy or ECT. Because psychiatric treatment usually involves only 15-minute “meds checks,” a patient must request a referral for a psychologist who can provide the “talk therapy” needed for the patient to work out thinking, behaviors, lifestyle and myriad other issues. Patients must be ascertain whether or not their psychiatrists and psychologists will communicate with one another to create a holistic continuum of care. The patient must learn habits of living including eating, exercise and sleeping habits. Mood disorder behaviors are non-volitional and re-learning healthy physical, mental and emotional habits is a must for preventing further mental mayhem. Friends and family can neither sympathize nor empathize, never having “been there.”

Serenity is my ultimate mental health goal. I have nearly achieved it by eliminating nearly most stressors in my life and it feels great. No problem distracts or bothers me anymore, most likely due to having already survived the worst that can happen to me at both extremes of bipolar mania and depression. In addition to Psychiatric and Psychological help are voluntary support groups, both physical and online. Internet forums and communities, if their members stay on-track, can be quite helpful for depressed and manic-depressive folks as episodes, doctors, medications and the like are hashed over and common ground is established for self-revelation, sharing and caring.

I am often asked whether there is 1) a greater number of mentally ill persons today, 2) if the bar is being lowered by the Psychiatric community to drum up more patients, or 3) whether there have always been so many of us in the past who were misunderstood, misdiagnosed or ignored. I am inclined to say that it is an amalgam of all three at the risk of sounding simplistic or “politically correct.” I say this because I believe all three propositions can easily be tied to the increasingly rapid advance of technology’s increasing impact on mankind over the decades. But I’m certainly open for any suggestions to the contrary.

In conclusion, “manic-depression” remains a “hot-button” topic today among health professionals, the media, patients and a confused public. Well-meaning websites and blogs litter the internet with both accurate and erroneous content and advice, and these venues must be fact-checked and negotiated with care. Although not up to academic standards, a Wikipedia search of “bipolar disorder” is probably the most handy and accurate source for the average inquisitor. Having read it myself, this mental patient recommends it for all concerned.

Source by Jeff C. Baker

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/a-bipolar-disorder-lesson-from-a-bipolar-patients-point-of-view/ via Home Solutions on WordPress