#why is it that art is so much easier to do when you're supposed to pay attention to literally anything else
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spoonv · 4 months ago
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I just found a bunch of old Harvey doodles from forever ago when I was in school
I was too busy drawing my wife to ""learn math concepts"" and ""get an education"" whatever that means
tumblr crop strikes again 💔💔
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whokilledsamara · 8 months ago
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Could you please write a mr scarletta x afab reader smut 🙏🏼 high key based on all the art of his umbrella being his member or it brings him pleasure when rubbed. Maybe where reader is riding the curved handle of rubbing it between her legs 🫣 if not thank you for taking your time to even just read this!
UMBRELLA
a Mr. Scarletella x afab!reader fic. {an: ooo when i tell you i think about this NIGHTLY}
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warnings || misuse of an umbrella, humping, riding an inanimate object, public {for Mr. Scarletella}, afab reader, smut, indirect sex
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he always made sure you had it- his umbrella. it was his entire heart and soul, literally him as a being. he trusted you enough- enough that he would leave you with it at all times. he could feel every touch from it, every time your fingers grazed the mesh. you were his human, and he would do anything to mark you as his. regardless if you gave him your name or not.
honestly, you never realized how much it really affected him. you thought all the times he would flinch as you opened the umbrella was just him being, well, him. the way his face would flush and eyes would widen as your hand held the handle, seemed normal to you. though, the more you thought about it, it all started to make sense. Mr. Scarletella was known to be weird and unsettling, but you didn't mind too much. he scared off any creatures that posed a threat to you, plus he was kinda hot-... in his own, creepy way.
it was late at night, or so you assumed- there really wasn't any way to tell time here.. but as you grew restless, tossing and turning on the makeshift bed you had, an idea came to mind. though it was rather risky,, and rather lewd, you couldn't help it. there was really no action here, and all this built up sexual tension definitely didn't help.
your eyes glare daggers at the umbrella that was perched next to your bed. a long stare at that. your thoughts kept debating whether to take the risk or not, until you finally sighed and grabbed it.
he was busy at the time, doing who knows what, but his actions paused when he felt your hands on him- his umbrella. you're supposed to be sleeping, why are you awake? his eyes narrow but he decides to carry on with whatever he was doing.
you on the other hand, were too busy shimmying off your small red panties, still debating your life choices as you rub your fingers down to your entrance, lubing your whole pussy up before shifting in a sitting position, umbrella underneath you. the stick of it was long, and slightly thick. there was a curve at the end for the handle. sighing softly, you lower your cunt on the stick part of it, rubbing your clit on the long pole. your breath instinctively hitches, a hushed whine leaving your lips. your hips move faster and faster, eyes clenching shut.
his heartbeat speed up, so fast he could hear it. his back hits the wall near him and his face turns red, hand coming up to cover his mouth. eyes still wide and staring off into space, his legs slightly trembling as he stays pressed against the wall.
oh.. so thats what you're doing..
meanwhile, your small moans grew heavier, pussy lubing up the pole and making it slide easier. one hand was places on the mesh of the umbrella, while the other was on the side of it, keeping you held up. your cunt was so desperately humping it, seeking as much friction as it could. unfortunately, it wasn't enough.
when he feels the pressure be pulled off, he sighs, having a hard time catching his breath as he processes what just happened. his boner was noticeable even through his raincoat, so prominent that it was impossible to cover. his eyes clench shut and he lets out a shaky breath, attempting to catch himself, his eyes widen with shock and a loud groan suddenly escapes him as he feels you actually slip onto the handle of the umbrella. his fucking cock. he drops to his knees and clenches his stomach, eyes wide and a grin that stretches ear to ear. his teeth sunk into his lip, blood seeping out. shaky breaths and whines spill from him, hair somewhat covering his face as his eyes stare off. you were gonna be the death of him.
your breath hitches and you let out a loud, pleased moan, the handle of the umbrella hitting just the right spot so deep inside of you that you almost came as soon as you started. you couldn't get enough, both your insides and clit were being stimulated from your frantic riding. your hips shuttered, moving at an impossible pace, head thrown back and mewls slipping freely from your lips. you needed it so bad, wanted to cum so desperately that you didn't care how you got it. nor did you care that you were riding a fucking umbrella.
the handle hits a perfect peak. your eyes roll back so far into your skull and you let out one last loud moan, hips sputtering and an orgasm crashing though you. the handle was still deep inside, a bit of drool sliding down your chin. your eyes dart down at the sight- a messy umbrella covered in both your juices and orgasm, but also.. semen?
oh shit.
embarrassment covers your face, realizing your mistake. you hopelessly forgot that his umbrella was practically him as a being, and you just rode it, let alone came on it. you slowly pull it out of you, an unwilling whimper leaving your lips at the feeling.
how could you possibly get out of this one..?
{ made by @whokilledsamara }
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comicaurora · 10 months ago
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Hey, sorry if you’ve been asked this before, but I have ADHD and I’ve been following your comic for years and just now have started to write my own comic (partially because you really inspired me). But I’m really struggling with staying on the project even when it’s boring and getting myself to work on it in the first place. Do you have any tips on how to keep your brain invested or just to make yourself do the work at all?
I have excellent news, I literally just figured out something really important about this.
So when you're an ADHD kiddo or otherwise have difficulty staying on task in a structured environment where Task is the Priority, the main way people try to MAKE you stay on task is by removing your access to anything that is not The Task. No phone, no TV, no doodling, no going outside, etc. In practice, this just makes us miserable because it takes the boredom that's always simmering around a 2 or 3 and cranks it all the way up to 11. In the same way that you would have difficulty staying on task if you were in physical pain, this crushing existential monotony makes it very difficult to work. The work might get done simply because you have no other options, but it will not be done quickly or well, and it will take a while to recover from how much it hurt.
What I realized earlier this week is I caught myself doing this to myself. I had 42 pages of background colors to do, and I thought to myself "this sounds really tedious, but I suppose I have nothing better I can do." And I realized what I'd just thought, and got very alarmed.
Because back when I was an ADHD kiddo imprisoned by school scheduling and a million little factors that keep children immobile and restrained, I couldn't stop thinking about how big and exciting the world was, and how much I wanted to be anywhere but here. When I was feeling really crushed in I'd pick a random spot on the maps on my wall and just imagine being there instead of my bedroom. This was the impetus behind almost all of my creative energy. I've said it before - anything is a prison if you can't leave, and being in a prison makes it easy to imagine how amazing things could be outside of it. Aurora's initial worldbuilding was forged in the crucible of fifth grade misery. My enthusiasm for art and my creative drive are inextricable from my sense of wonder and yearning for excitement in the real world. Not escapism, but appreciation. Wonders unimaginable are out there, and I gain just as much joy seeking them out as I do conjuring them up in my head and sharing them with all of you.
So now that I'm a grown-up with actual freedom in every way I've been able to get, the idea that I was staying on task by making myself believe the world was small and not worth seeing was extremely alarming. It could keep me on task for an afternoon, but at the cost of slowly extinguishing the thing that made me want to make art in the first place - the hunger to experience and draw inspiration from all the myriad complexities in the world.
So what I've been doing is I've been purposefully and intentionally taking excursions whenever I catch myself thinking "I could take a break but it wouldn't be worth it, it's the same outdoors as always, I'll be uncomfy and unproductive and tired." Because that is never true. Every time I've put down the stylus and gone out, I've been renewed in one way or another, and when I come back to comfort fully recharged I get a lot of shit done. Because it is easier to work on anything if you remember why you wanted to make it in the first place, and it is self-defeating misery to just lock yourself in with it and tell yourself you're a bad person if you can't get it done.
I honestly don't know how widely applicable this is. I have worse wanderlust than anyone I know, so for me this has always been modeled as imprisonment vs freedom. I've also been extremely lucky to find myself in a profession that lets me set my own pace on literally everything I do. But I genuinely believe that when it comes to making art with ADHD, you need to give yourself freedom to move laterally, not just in the direction of obvious forward progress. We don't think linearly in any other part of our lives - art is no different.
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punkpandapatrixk · 4 months ago
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🍁Essentially, What’s Your Main Aesthetic? ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
Aesthetic is anything concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty💋Don't you think beauty is essential for human health? It inspires and uplifts the mind and heart, after all. I think the pursuit of beauty whether in things, people(?) or creation makes Life exciting~🎨And the attainment of that very beauty makes Life worthwhile~🩰
Beauty contains an essence of something Cosmic. If you get it, if you live by it, it has the capacity to connect the Human Expression to a Divine Experience. Why religion when there is Art?🎀lmao
What about your Beauty? Do you know where to find it? I think every person's Cosmic Beauty can be found in their Story🎠Your unique blueprint that's just waiting to be expressed whether in writing, in a melody, in a sculpture or perhaps a painting, and in aesthetic décor or personal fashion choices💄
Live and breathe your Art, aliens~🛸
pov: You Found The Enchanted Garden You Dreamed in Your Childhood | ultravclet
vlog: productive days 📝📖 finishing books, writing reviews, journaling, organising✨ | cups and thoughts
deck-bottom: 9 of Swords Rx, Gold Historian (Raphael Holinshed), Priestess of Success
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – I’m Hurt, But the Show Must Go On
vibe: HER by MINNIE
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poetic suffering – Ace of Cups Rx
Oh, almost your entire Life has been one bloody show—like, actually bloody, figuratively or literally—and you’ve survived it all, although some screws inevitably got loose here and there. You probably identify as having somewhat of a multiple personality disturbance—yeah, just a disturbance, not so much an actual medical disorder, but what do I know? The point is, you’ve developed many voices in your head🍹
I once read something someone wrote on a YouTube comment: ‘The voices in my head make fire podcast.’ I believe that resonates loudly for you and your kind of ‘problem’🥂lmao For some of you, this was developed as part of survival; but for some others, you couldn’t help but develop this ‘disturbance’ simply because you’re high-IQ. It’s just part of the mechanics of your brains. So, it isn't to say you're damaged...
The crux of the matter is that you were always an empathetic child. Creating all these characters or personalities was your way of understanding other people—why they did what they did, what they’d do in a given situation and some such. Like I said, some of you could’ve developed these voices in your head to anticipate chaos, but for some of you, this was simply a philosophical pursuit🎡
aesthetic insanity – Queen of Pentacles
Having said that, it isn’t to say that your whole existence has not been painful. After all, with such a sweet and sensitive heart you’ve had to fight for your place in this cold, cruel, criminal world where you were preyed upon. You were preyed upon because your aenergy was so good. Empathetic people tend to get preyed upon by narcissists not so much because they’re good just like that—but because destroying your sanity and sense of self feels good to a bitter narcissistic monster🤹
You get the difference? A narcmon could target just about anybody whether or not that person’s good. But you were always a much easier target because soft-hearted people can be very accommodating to other people’s wounds. And empathetic people tend to be willing participants in the cruel shitshow created by a narcshit because they want to be a hero in someone’s Story~🎭So, that’s been your shitstorm.
How’s dealing with that supposed to not fuck people up somewhat? But in the grand scheme of everything you’ve had to deal with, you see now that you’ve still got your integrity and sense of humour. That’s all that matters, really. Someone wrote a meme that says ‘You forced me to study narcissism. Now enjoy my educated ass.’ The most ironic iconic outcome here is that now you know how to play up narcissism to get back at real narcmons you meet in society🩰lmao
dramatic scene – Page of Pentacles Rx
So, essentially, if we could summarise what your main aesthetic is: you’re simply INSANE. You were forged in hellfire and came out a little woo woo, but you’re also genuinely superbly intelligent that you know how to use this woowoo to your advantage. The you that has come out of this hellfire is now operating on VENGEANCE🏵Could be for your past; could be for any abuser/manipulator you meet in society; could be for culture, tradition or the establishment.
Simply said, you want to wreck it. Fuck it all up. But with style and humour. You’re going to mirror back society’s cruelty and lack of empathy with sarcasm and a really dark sense of humour. Show ‘em how unintelligently they’ve been interacting with Reality! Either you’re a Gen Xer in your 40s or you’re going to really vibe with this generation’s dark, almost sick sense of irony🤪
Any form of self-expression that showcases your crazy, uncontrollable, unhinged personality would feel most authentic to you. Something deep in your psyche wants to get back at society; for that, you’re willing to play up the villain or menace in society, so long as that re-educates them about what it means to be Human. But deep inside, I know that you know that you’re still the same kind and caring little child with an unchanging loyalty to…Love😘
DIVINE FACT🔻❤️
dream design – Red Alchemist (John Dee)
essence of my identity – Priestess of Magick
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – I Still Dream of Everything I’ve Lost
vibe: Summer Rain by IRENE
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poetic suffering – Page of Cups
Ah, you are a poet. A total romantic. Even if your idea of what’s 'romantic' differs from most people. If anything, more than anybody else around you, you seem to be the only one who’s got a saner, purer grasp of what ‘romance’ is all about💞More than anybody you know in your surroundings you want something much more honest and sweet. Most of the time, people just think you’re starry-eyed and unrealistic—but what you feel in your heart cannot be denied❣️
If what you’re feeling isn’t real then why does it exist in your Heart of hearts?💚That’s why you needed to do Art. Maybe poetry was your way to make sense of this clash between your inner world and the world around you. Maybe you devoted massive amounts of time and energy to creating aesthetic collages just to see your beautiful inner world reflected in the physical Reality—even if all of that beauty exists only on paper, illustrations or digital edits💻
Of all the people you’ve ever known, for some reason it always felt like you were the only one with a Heart for Poetry. It could be that your society didn’t much like this type of pursuit. Or maybe it was just your family that didn’t seem to have a high level of appreciation for the kind of Beauty that ever so naturally captures your Heart. In many ways, growing up could’ve been somewhat isolating for this reason…🧸
aesthetic insanity – 6 of Wands Rx
Always the weird one out. All because you have so much feeling. You feel and feel your emotions to oblivion. It hurts to be you, if anyone cared to know. To have your kind of Heart means to be so easily moved to tears by the smallest of things. A beautiful melody, a nostalgic vibe, a display of genuine kindness or happiness, people being unconditionally helpful and patient with each other. Things that may seem so casual in the grand scheme of human greed and ambitions…but you have no such ambition to become like the rest of ‘em🔫
It's hard to be this way from time to time. It’s a challenge to navigate the pond of compassion that exists deep within your Heart. In today’s world especially, it’s so much trendier to be jaded and cynical. For many, of all ages, that seems to be the most acceptable modus operandi🕹Even if you tried you wouldn’t be able to operate well on such a negative and unexciting command. Lucky you, you’re weird enough to not give a little bunny shit about fitting in or, obeying~🐰
You can be really emotionally divorced from the world outside of your imaginations that, to your own surprise, it really is that easy to detach from the expectations of society and drift to Neptune instead—probably dreaming your whole Life away on some distant nebulous fantasies🍄That’s why you identify as an introvert. Your rich inner lives are always far more interesting than any mundane conversation some Normie is capable of conjuring.
dramatic scene – Ace of Pentacles
In the grand scheme of everything that’s wrong with modern societies, you most likely feel that Humanity has lost much of its cherished values that you tend to like things that are either old—very, very old and out of fashion—or simply childish and/or otherworldly. In essence, you’re far more attuned to aesthetics that remind people of INNOCENCE. When things used to be much more beautiful, classy, thoughtful, innocent, and just….my gosh, cute🐶
And yet, you’ve most likely been told that you act motherly, or that, ‘You’re going to be a really good mother one day.’ People can sense that you’re trustworthy and dependable—very Old Soul, you know?👽In spite of how sweet and feminine or even weird you look on the outside, on the inside you’re integritous, and most everybody can see that because you exude this charmingly calm, mature and wise aura🌾
If you’re a creator or have a social media presence, what you put out there—illustrations, poems, edits, fanfics(?), etc.—seems to possess a healing attribute. I’m sure your audience have told you that your channel/page/blog serves as their safe space🚠People who tend to be loners or those who've often been misunderstood in society gravitate towards your vibe in real life and Art on the Internet. In that sense, you really are a nurturer and protector of some motherly sort🎀
DIVINE FACT🔻💙
dream design – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)
essence of my identity – Priestess of Contemplation
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Utterly Lost in this Sad Girl Escapism
vibe: Tejano Blue by Cigarettes After Sex
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poetic suffering – Knight of Cups
Let’s admit it, you’re constantly drowning in feelings that you escape through obsessive drinking habits, yeah?🥃Most likely anything to do with liquid substances, so this could involve alcohol or coffee, or endless cups of herbal tea with heavy uses of creamer, or you could be the type that smokes obscene amounts of ciggies in a day or snacks violently on crisps all day long or… I dunno, putting yourself through hours of trance on some of Tchaikovsky’s most dramatic pieces?🎻
Perhaps this Reality is just that disappointing for you because the unnatural world doesn’t seem capable of offering ecstatic experiences what would match the feelings you carry since birth—thus your effort to escape into alternate states of feeling. You were born different🌜You feel more intensely, you feel more types of emotions, and you know more of the colours that make up the natural world; but in modern everyday reality, obviously something is missing. Cold-blooded post-war capitalism has made everything ugly…
Human interactions, as a result, become distant and dreary, unspiritual, unempathetic and unkind. And every single day of your waking hour, this awareness tortures and kills you on the inside🥓Depending on how artistic you are and how much Art you’re capable of producing, you may generally feel a sense of inadequacy from not being able to function ‘well’ in modern society. Even if you may appear to be doing just fine on the outside, on the inside you’re melting and flaring and swinging through everything…🌪
aesthetic insanity – XI Justice
If, for example, you’re the type that watches vintage movies, you realise that others your age may watch them for the laughs or other analytical pursuits, but you watch them genuinely for the staggering display of emotions, no matter how theatrical, and you get so involved and your heart aches and you let out a sob or a silent tear…🎭If not vintage films, umm, I dunno, anime, cartoon or perhaps, murder shows? Some of you may have a rather disturbing way of finding ‘materials’ what would let you feel your feelings more vividly🌈
The truth of the matter is, all of these pursuits are fuelled by a desire to find more honesty in the world. You find it vexingly difficult to express your true feelings in society; perhaps because you know this world ain’t ready for your kind of honesty. It feels like tedious intensity to them. And you’ve noticed that most people, actually, truly enjoy shallow interactions🦥Stooping to their level would be humiliating to you.
So then, you just do the best you can to feign normalcy and showcase a temperate disposition when interacting in society. But once you’re in your own company, that’s when you indulge in watching, reading or writing or creating or listening to exasperatingly profound things what would let you shiver from the core of your being☃️You, have a need to gasp and choke by emotions… And that’s intensely insane. And not many people would know what to do with any of it.
dramatic scene – Knight of Pentacles Rx
Well, not many indeed would know how to connect or get through to you. It’s true. And you may have felt very lost in this sad gurl escapism that seems neverending. As if you’d want it to end. If only you could verbalise this accurately and in a succinct manner: you have absolutely no idea how to be a responsible grownup. To begin with, what is ‘responsible’? But at this point, you don’t really give a damn anymore🙈
You grew up watching grownups perform duties and fulfil expectations—and they seemed responsible and sensible and capable. But your little heart always knew that these humans weren’t necessarily responsible in a spiritual sense. Your little sage mind always suspected that a lot of their ‘practical’ choices would sooner or later lead to much more disastrous outcomes🐾So in the end, what’s in being a responsible adult?
It was all too humiliating. And from a rather young age, you decided already that you would avert your eyes from the world of the grownups. And such it was that until now you still don’t know how to be ‘normal’ and ‘temperate’. Actually, more accurately, you don’t really know how not to be a destructive force to yourself. You just, have so much to say, and you don’t know what to say; so much rage, and you don’t even know who to be angry at…💔
DIVINE FACT🔻💗
dream design – Silver Physician (John Dee)
essence of my identity – Priestess of Luxury
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
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hellspawnmotel · 2 months ago
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haha okay okay, I'll share my thoughts (this got long whoops. lots to cover)
first of all, just to clear I'm not saying that I think toby is trying to make the fanbase assume wholesomeness in EVERY relationship he writes, or even every lesbian relationship. I don't think he did that for alphyne, I think that is just a genuinely wholesome relationship for the most part. they have some stuff to work out (mostly based around alphys' lying and insecurities) but what couple doesnt? I did theorize that toby might have kept that in mind while writing suselle specifically though, given the surface-level similarities to alphyne (which essentially just boil down to 'tough girl x shy girl'). considering that toby's been developing noelle and susie since at least 2015 I doubt that's where he started out with the two of them, but I think it's plausible it influenced how he chose to frame their scenes in the final product.
I haven't seen whatever post you're talking about discussing alphyne vs RG01/RG02, and to be frank I don't remember seeing a lot of art of the knights that was overly sexual as opposed to just cute. I do believe that there's some level of it that I just haven't encountered but I don't know if it was the best example to illustrate this point. it IS true though that when it comes to shipping, there's a trend of viewing relationships between two men as inherently more sexual than relationships between two women, because misogyny and I can't get into why that happens in more specificity without going on a massive tangent and I trust you guys already know all that.
so let's just assume that we all understand these basic societal ideals, and the fact they get subconsciously drilled into our heads whether we like it or not: the default way to be a woman is to be a domestic caretaker. gentle, kind, pure, level-headed, someone who does all she can to avoid emotional conflict. or any conflict for that matter- a well-adjusted woman hates conflict, to avoid it she'll become submissive or run away or try to mediate or just faint into the arms of a man about it. men are the ones who initiate or confront conflict, who "make things happen".
then what happens when there are no men around? if a relationship is just two women in love, and the relationship is healthy, then there must be no conflict. all you're left with is sweet and pure domestic bliss. that's when it's "wholesome". therefore, if a relationship between two women DOES involve conflict, it must be unhealthy because it means something is "wrong" with one or both of them. so to that end I think it's much easier to conclude that a ship between two women is "toxic" than a ship between two men. or a ship between a man and a woman, for that matter. picture your average romcom centered around a heterosexual relationship, and ask yourself, if everything was exactly the same but it was two women instead, would it get called "toxic yuri"?
FTR, I understand that the phrase "toxic yuri" rose in popularity and prominence as backlash against this exact kind of thinking- we want lesbian relationships that involve conflict, and calling it "toxic" affectionately is in direct response to those who argue that any relationship between two women that isnt all sunshine and daisies is unhealthy and abusive. and there are PLENTY of girl/girl pairings that I would actually describe as "toxic" in sincerity and that's the appeal and what makes them interesting. but I think the (over)use of the word has gotten to a point where you gotta look at yourself and ask if that's what your ship really is, or if you just want to use a popular phrase- and more importantly, if mislabeling these relationships as "toxic" when conflict gets involved is just looping around and perpetuating the problem in a different way.
(remembering this was supposed to be about suselle) UMM. in conclusion I think if more people start to acknowledge the conflict or potential for conflict in susie and noelle's romantic storyline then we're gonna see it called "toxic yuri" even though nothing about it has changed. and I think that on the other side of that, those who exclusively want cute and lovey-dovey suselle are prone to ignoring any conflict or even denying it's there. not all the time! but it happens.
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himasgod · 13 days ago
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Hello there!
I loved your recent Crowley drabble and I thought of some good ‘ol agnst in a different situation of father Crowley and the reader who is their child. >:)
Crowley lost their child, the reader, due to a tragic accident, maybe an overblot incident they triggered it by accident because they were not self aware of how much magic they were using as they played around. I would like for the reader to be a humanoid, like Ortho, and is applied to NRC as an assistant of Crowley. With some strange looks, some first year students and others question the reader what figure they are suppose to represent and why they are here for.
Reader then explains that they are supposed to represent a figure dear to Crowley, but doesn’t get too much into detail since Crowley cuts them off. It then ends off with them both in the Headmage office, where Crowley expresses sorrow as they cup their cheek.
Have a good day/night!
-🗝️
CROWLEY AND READER
Where he lost his child in an accident and decides to build you as a representation of him
Where, as Crowley's child, you were born with a completely overwhelming and unstable magic, dying of an overblot at a young age. So, Crowley decides to create your new self: a puppet that looks just like his kid.
referring to this fluff where crowley raised reader and he's their self-proclamed father...
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art credit to vitacarniss on twitter (I'm not sure if they're the original artist, since there's no explicit signature or authorship on the post)
It was spring when it happened. The garden was awash in pink blossoms.
You, his child, his light, his laugh—were spinning in the field barefoot.
You had been born with irregular magic, but you’d only just bloomed into it. It clung to you like mist. You played with it. Sang to it. You told Crowley proudly that your hands felt tingly every time you concentrated.
He should have seen it. Should have known.
You overblotted by accident.
Too much magic, too much happiness, too much love for the world that hadn’t yet taught you to fear yourself.
The overblot consumed you in seconds.
He saw your little body rise surrounded by darkness, blot, ink, and glittering petals of your magic gone wrong. And then—
Ash.
The headmage never forgave himself.
You walk the halls of NRC with silent steps. Everything is new. And old. Every sound echoes in your synthetic ears with perfect clarity.
You are an assistant now. An artificial being. Your face is modeled after someone who once laughed under a cherry tree.
That someone was you. But not quite. Not anymore.
You're not a student, not really. Not anymore. You wear tailored robes marked “STAFF,”
Your title is “Administrative Representative of the Headmage.” But they call you other things.
“That thing Crowley built.” “The ghost kid.” “Crowley’s doll.”
Your smile is always polite. Your magic core pulses softly.
Simulated breath in, out. One-two-three.
Crowley told you not to tell them. Told you it would be easier.
“They wouldn’t understand, little one. Let them think you’re a project. It’s safer that way.”
But you remember warm hands. A mask. A voice in the dark that once whispered lullabies to help you sleep.
You're sorting scrolls by the library shelves when the new first years corner you.
They're not cruel. Just… curious. They’ve never seen anything like you. Ace is first.
"So… seriously. What are you supposed to be? You don’t go to class, but you’re everywhere. Like—what are you? You’re not a ghost, right? Or, uh… sorry, was that rude?"
Deuce adds, “Are you like Ortho? Are you a robot?”
You pause. Your voice comes carefully calibrated. Still yours.
“I’m not a robot. I was made using magic, not machines. …I’m a representation,”
“But why? Like—what do you represent?”
You tilt your head.
“I represent someone dear to the Headmage. Someone he lost.”
Silence. That shuts them up. For a moment, the air in the library feels heavy.
Their faces shift from confusion to pity, then to discomfort.
Deuce opens his mouth, but the click of boots interrupts him, there’s a loud flutter of robes behind you.
Crowley.
He’s across the library in seconds, robes flaring. Gloved hand on your shoulder. Too firm.
“That’s quite enough, wouldn’t you say?”
He’s smiling. But you recognize the panic in his eyes. You were programmed to.
“My dear assistant is far too busy for idle chitchat! Shoo! Shoo, children, shoo!”
They scatter like startled ravens.
He doesn’t speak as he leads you out.
You say nothing either.
But your fingers tighten around the edge of your robe.
It’s late.
He hasn’t looked at you since you returned.
You stand by the window, arms at your sides. You don’t fidget. You were not programmed to. But your magic core feels tight .
“Are you angry with me?” you ask.
He doesn’t answer.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” you murmur.
He doesn’t answer.
Your joints ache with simulated weariness. You watch his face. Tired. Drawn. Shadows deep beneath his eyes.
He finally speaks.
“You were just a child…”
The words are barely a whisper.
“You didn’t even know what an overblot was. You thought magic was a toy. You were so proud of your first flame, remember? You laughed when it turned blue.”
You nod. You remember. Or at least… you were made to remember.
“ But that’s not the point.”
You nod. “Then what is?”
“You remember things I didn’t teach you. You hum songs I haven’t sung since—since the garden. You laugh exactly the same way. And then you speak to them like you’re real.”
You say nothing. Because you don’t know if he’s right.
Are you real?
You have memories. But they were built. You have feelings, but you don’t know if they’re yours, or echoes of the child you’re based on.
“They’re going to start asking more questions,” Crowley says quietly. “They’ll dig. They’ll find out about the overblot. About what happened to you.”
You walk across the room and sit on the armrest beside him.
“Do you regret it?”
He looks at you. Really looks.
“I couldn’t save you. So I rebuilt you. Not because I thought I should… but because I couldn’t breathe without you.”
You tilt your head into his hand as he cups your cheek.
His touch is reverent. Careful. Porcelain aagainst his skin. He always touches you like he’s terrified you’ll break again like a broken doll.
“You're not my child”
You nod.
“But you sound like them. Smile like them. And sometimes I swear I see the same spark in your eyes. I just… I needed you. I still need you.”
You rest your hand over his.
Simulated, inorganic warmth.
“Would you rather I didn’t exist?”
“No. Never. Not for a moment.”
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m0r1bund · 1 month ago
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Things have been quiet lately on account of my house burning down. Nobody was hurt, and I haven't lost my physical / digital art pieces, but I have no way of working on them right now... which means I'm going a little stir crazy! haha! ha !!!
I had the foresight to draft a post with some of my favorite panels from my twine game, Threadbare. I was originally just gonna use them to promote the game, but this is all I can to work on right now, so you're getting the director's commentary reel I guess. but first
Play Threadbare!
Or don't, I can't control you.
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I started making Threadbare so that I could weasel my way out of drawing comics. it was supposed to be a low-effort way of telling Frey and Kairos' story, which is, in the grand scheme of things, ancillary to everything happening on wasteland Earth.
(honks clown nose)
the art is also made to be low-effort, even if it doesn't stay that way. unremitting red/white/blue/black takes the guesswork out of painting in color, and also feels like propaganda art. mapping characters to certain colors makes simplifying them easier. Frey can be reduced to an angry blue smudge and Kairos can be a stupid red hat on a triangle.
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I had already written out most of the Frey-Kairos scenes back in 2023. The holding cell scene is actually one of the first things I drew LOL. Everything else sprang up from the twine game format. I knew I wanted some buffer between Frey breaking out of the Abattoir and Frey confronting the Oracle, so that we could learn more about the two of them, and also the Archive, without rushing into prophecide. This ended up changing the structure of the story more than I thought it would... and created a lot of self-inflicted scope creep... which is for me to unpack at a later date (when I'm done) (girl help im not even done)
but probably the biggest addition is
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her
and ES I guess.
ES and Rhodes were originally funnie little nature spirits, but I long suspected that Rhodes would make a kickass ex-secutor, and I needed some NPCs to explore the Archive with, so. here ya go. I promise I'm going somewhere with them. Rhodes is filling the shoes for another old character concept I had (which was partly cannibalized by the Oracle of Caeres, funny enough.)
<more spoilery stuff under the cut. play my twine game.>
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The other characters like Petrei and the Undertaker were designed on the spot, which is to say I just opened a canvas and started painting and hoped for the best. because this was supposed to be low-effort. haha.
I want to go back and figure out Petrei's anatomy because the idea of doing horrible manweevil origami is fun.
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The other big surprise in all of this was having sound and music figure so strongly into things. My last twine game, Killswitch, had maybe three little songs to set the mood, and no SFX. I guess something broke in me and I decided I wanted to make an ace attorney game this time. You're all getting bespoke vox files now. my gift to you. and part of why this took like 9 months
I feel lucky that I found the musician ROZKOL, whose work is featured prominently in the twine, just as I was dipping my toes into audio editing and really scripting the meat of things. I was not expecting to find a musician in the Creative Commons scene who had totally figured out what a ceaselessly grinding imperial death machine sounds like. I have a hard time thinking in music, even though it motivates so much of my work... sometimes I feel like I have aphantasia but for compositions LOL. So I really enjoyed this kind of post-hoc surprise collaboration, it was cool to watch the scenes start to mold themselves around ROZKOL's music.
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The slideshow-quicktime-event-fight-scene is especially molded to ROZKOL's song "Good Soldier." A fun return to the fine tradition of warrior cats AMVs that I was raised on. bringing in player participation is something that I would like to explore in a more elegant way in the future, I really like the idea of a music video being an active, participatory experience and not a passive one. and honestly I just want other people to feel the same unhinged rush that I feel when I put a song on repeat 70 times while painting.
There's I think four different routes in the first part of that encounter, leading to some variant panels like these.
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depending on your choices, Frey gets roughed up a little more or a little less, ES may or may not stick their neck out for you, and the Oracle has choice words for you if you're a good soldier dancing partner.
(fun fact: if you don't choose to act during this scene, Frey picks a route and acts at random.)
I'm still learning what does and doesn't make a meaningful player choice. is there a branch because the possibility of choosing to / choosing not to see it is compelling, or is there a branch just to be a branch? I don't really think that you need to fundamentally alter the narrative to have fun with it. little things like ES and Rhodes remembering your name still feel meaningful to me, even if they don't change the outcome of anything. but I'm also bending to certain limitations that I cannot fully discuss until I finish this damn thing.
Speaking of finishing, I made the denouement in a deranged fever haze. I got sick twice in the span of, like, a month. It was pretty miserable. but hey, at least I had time to finish my twine.
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^^^ how it feels to finish your twine (she doesn't know her house is about to burn down)
further in the vein of things burning down, I'm glad I found the song "In Your Mind" and didn't get cold feet about keeping it in the tracklist. I was struggling to nail down the tone of the ending scene, until I gave it a few listens and things clicked. but at the last minute, I nearly swapped it for "Burn it All Down." It's a really good song, too, but it's probably for the best I briefly possessed Kairos' gift of prophecy and didn't pick the one about uhhhhh. burning.
I think that's all I got for now. thanks for playing and/or flirting with the idea of playing by reading this post. kill petrei for me. and try not to be on fire.
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bitterkarella · 6 months ago
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Midnight Pals: Psychic Self-Defense
Dion Fortune: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the winged bull Fortune: its about a woman who falls in with an evil occult society run by this disgusting slug of a man hugo astley Aleister Crowley: haha couldn't be me Fortune: who also wears a pyramid hat Crowley: wait a minute
Fortune: now hugo Astley's occult society is irresponsible and wanton Fortune: not like mine Fortune: i like my occult societies to be socially acceptable and on the up and up Barker: this sucks Poe: clive
Fortune: see, the occult isn't about orgies and hashish Fortune: it's about morals and ethics and carnal forbearance Barker: oh my GOD Barker: i hate this SO much Crowley: hey wait a minute is that hugo Astley guy supposed to be me??
Crowley: ooo! so you think i'm real gross do you, dion? Crowley: well maybe you'll rethink what gross means Crowley: when you smell like cat piss! Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST!!! DO WHAT THOU WILT!!
King: oh jeez! King: what's that awful smell? Barker: it smells like cat piss! King: Barker: Poe: Koontz: Lovecraft: why are you all looking at me?
Barker: well you do like cats soooo Lovecraft: edgar likes cats just as much! Barker: yeah but honestly Barker: you just seem like a cat piss sort of guy, howard
Dion Fortune: i'm sorry, everyone, it's me King: Poe: Koontz: Lovecraft: Barker: Poe: do you have a cat? Fortune: no it's a curse
Poe: it's a curse? Dion Fortune: yeah i got cursed to smell like cat piss Barker: damn that's real rough Barker: sounds like maybe you ought to read up on your psychic self-defense Poe: clive
Fortune: for your information Fortune: i wrote the book on psychic self-defense Barker: and yet here you are Barker: smelling of cat piss Fortune: Barker: and we're supposed to take you as an authority huh? Poe: clive
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Shelley: what's UGHHH Shelley: the fuck is that unholy stench??? Dion Fortune: that's me Fortune: i was cursed to smell like cat piss Shelley: someone open a fucking window, jesus christ Shelley: what's wrong with you lot? Shelley: just stewing in it, ugh!
Dion Fortune: don't worry everyone Fortune: i am highly skilled in the art of psychic self-defense Fortune: using the awesome power of my mind, i will defeat this curse Shelley: [flipping switchblade] i got a better way to defeat a curse
Shelley: look dion you just tell me who did this and i'll get em to lift that curse right quick Fortune: you can't just stab away a curse! Fortune: you have to use psychic vibrations! Shelley: stabbing is way easier Shelley: way easier than Shelley: Shelley: whatever the hell you're doing
Shelley: listen dion just tell me who did this Fortune: it's a mystery, it could be any one of my many many enemies Shelley: it was Crowley Fortune: how do you figure? Shelley: it's always Crowley innit
Fortune: when investigating a psychic attack, it's important to approach the problem methodically Fortune: first eliminate non-psychic possibilities, like, say, low blood sugar Fortune: or sick building syndrome Shelley: [shivving crowley] too late, i stabbed him
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thattimdrakeguy · 15 days ago
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HOW TO DRAW THE ROBINS! What do the Robins look like? How are the Robins supposed to look!
It's me! A stranger on the internet with too much time and passion for Robins, once again, here to help you on your journey of understanding these beloved characters through these trying times.
Note: Most artists, especially modern artists, don't care about consistency. But maybe with some luck, we can get things back on track!
(I'm not gonna draw it though. I'm just gonna go back in time to when consistency mattered most to DC. After all Denny O'Neil not wanting to make people believe Dick traveled back and forth from New York to Gotham City all the time is how we got Jason Todd. Look it up.)
Let's learn how to keep track of who's who! And what which one of the original three are supposed to look like!
Why only the original three?
Because Steph is mostly consistent, and the other guy showed up during the Dan Didio era of DC, where consistency mattered not, as long as the edge lord head in charge was pleased. And changing the entire formatting of the post since I'd have to dig deeper to find the answers, would be way too much frustration for what it's worth.
Plus, it's easier to make the point using fewer artists that actually drew around the same time.
Also I shouldn't have to say this, but of course, these characters do age. But remember, when it comes to aging, your features don't just completely change, unless you had injury or plastic surgery. At least for most people.
Let's start with my personal favorite because he's easy to explain:
TIM DRAKE:
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Here is your default Tim Drake. Drawn by George Perez who was brought back specifically for the Teen Titan issues of this story. Given that, I'm going to logically assume this is what Tim is meant to look like.
As you can see here, he has massive eyes, a soft face, high cheek bones, a buttoned upturned nose, a small mouth, and expressive eyes, with a hint of natural curls to his hair (though that detail would be forgotten since it's easy not to notice due to all the gel in his hair).
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We can see this panel to panel in George Perez' own art.
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Really note the nose here, because this often isn't depicted in modern art, yet was in truth, very specified.
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I believe some people would call this a snub nose if you're into the world of feature identification--or plastic surgery. It's pretty much the Peter Pan nose if you understand more by relating it something else. You can also see more of the gentle waviness to his hair here as it's brushed back that would later be ignored since this detail is so missable initially.
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He's also really f'n small for his age. He is 13-years-old, and all, but wow, that is one tiny kid.
These details are kept when Jim Aparo can be bothered to not draw the same face on everyone.
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Again, note the very specified nose, and large bambi eyes. The high cheek bones, but general softness of the features. It's like he's a human kid trying to pull off the Puss in Boots trick to get his way into the Batcave to cater to his Batman and Robin fanboy desires.
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Seriously, bring the nose back you animals, it's so distractingly noticeable, I'm not sure how people missed this detail when going back to research his appearance.
And since he is so young here, if you wanna know how to use his features in the context of him being older now. Ya don't really have to worry.
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'Cause he evidentially don't look that much different. So you don't have to go too far with aging him up.
(He's only months away from 18 there for context.)
JASON TODD:
Poor Jason is gonna have to be compared to others more than anything, because he was a character originally created to be basically a duplicate of Dick Grayson in the silver age, and wasn't 'til after a whole freaking reboot did they try to give him his own personality, and even longer for his own appearance.
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He's more notable for being the bigger, buffer Robin. Which is kind of funny, given he was a starving street kid. But this IS ACTUALLY consistent with how he's depicted in the Batman series itself, because he is shown casually working out his muscles. His appearance going from, just silver age Dick, into his own unique person. His head is the shape of a brick, he has tougher features, and more noticeable muscles.
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His features are also clearly more mature than how Jim Aparo draws the other Robins.
But if you're drawing specifically Robin era Jason, don't go super far. He looks mature for his age--
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But he's still identifiable as someone under the drinking limit during this time. So don't overexaggerate it too much. Keep it realistic. Some teens just do be looking more like slightly shorter adults.
Also, if you're one of those Jason fans that think him being cute is an actual trait he had because you're delirious (yeah, he had his moments of being a sweetheart, he's a good kid, it's why he's Robin. but don't lie to yourself, he isn't meant to be a cute character, not the more well-known post-crisis Jason anyways. there's a difference lmao)
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I refuse to use this as an example of Jason's appearance. That's just silver age Dick.
Why would I want a character I love for how much of an individual he is compared to the other Bat-Family members to look like a clone, when they very quickly made the change to make him more of his own person. Is it weird they didn't change it right away? Yes. But whatever. It's very clearly a deliberate decision to change the way he looked. Especially in context that Jason became a homeless child, because his original origin of being another circus kid was way too goofily similar to Dick. Ya gotta have a context when inferring things.
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This is literally Dick Grayson right here. Golden age Dick Grayson. You can't tell me that's not who they drew when drawing Jason in the beginning.
Even has that creepy tiny nose that I guess was the style at the time. Same head shape, same hair.
So, yes, I'm going to be using what Jason looked like when they gave him a unique appearance. Why would I not?
DICK GRAYSON:
He's friggin' Dick Grayson, man. How did you make it this far if you don't know what he looks like?
If you want you can go with creepy tiny nose, pencil drawn eyebrow Dick if you want, but that's more of a 'of the times' art style thing since things were a little more comic-strip style back then.
But I'll use the 80s because it's a decade more focused on realistic drawings, with just a dab of exaggeration to keep things looking super.
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And if ya wanna know what he's supposed to look like as a younger Robin, gasp, he's just supposed to look like how he does but younger. They don't overcomplicate it, probably because they gave Jason Dick's golden age hair, because nothing creepy about forcing your new adopted son to look like your old ward, Batman.
Where Tim is small for his age, and Jason after eating a mean diet of pure protein or something is big for his age (I'm assuming. They couldn't even make up their mind on Jason's age. Which is why you'll find a lot of contradicting depictions of Robin Jason), Dick is more so just your average height.
Lean muscle you can notice through a shirt, but not a body builder. Stylish hair for the time.
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He's the Robin that actually is a pretty boy. He's not ruggedly handsome, he's not soft to the touch cute. Just some well-proportioned and well-angled features that would equal someone handsome in any decade.
Why is the most famous Robin last? Because he's almost always drawn right, because comic artists instincts is to make the character very attractive. And since that's what Dick's suppose to look like, hard to mess that up too far from the point.
NOW OF COURSE
Times have past, and it's not the 80s anymore. You can't just inhale copious amounts of cocaine in the office and get a promotion for it. It's not those days anymore. I'm sorry, but it's true. Perms are back, yes, but none of these guys had a perm.
You're gonna want to modernize them. And have fun with figuring out what that'd be for each of them.
They all just kind of dressed them the same at this point, which they still kind of do. I guess Robin's have a uniform even outside of patrol work.
But feel free to make them individuals, and try to figure out what hair they would have nowadays. Just keep the features right, and the heart accurate if ya wanna do an accurate depiction of them.
As a generalization Tim wears comfy clothes and sweaters, this has gone from sweater vests with the sleeves cut off to oversized sweaters in the modern day so just give him trendy sweater fashion really is the consistency. Dick tries to be trendy generally speaking, and dresses mostly smart with a dab of bad ass cool just please do a good job and don't seem like an old man trying to be with the youths like some of those crummy 90s art depictions. And Jason of course when he came back from the dead got a leather addiction.
So have fun with your new Robin knowledge, if you weren't already in the know!
Or don't, I'm not your boss.
I'd appreciate it though.
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lvve-talks · 2 months ago
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Congratulations on 300 followers love!!! You deserve this and more, I'm so so happy for you. ❣️
What do you think of Art being readers tutor, except she's actually just faking not understanding anything because she wants to spend time with him.
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"i just don't get it!" you huff for the fourth time while mulling over the same problem for an hour. of course, the answer is 47%, and the equation is pretty straightforward, but he doesn't have to know that you know that.
you're great at statistics. art is... average. but when you saw him sitting front row of your stat 202 lecture on the first day of classes you knew you had to have him. golden curls sitting so prettily above that sharp nose and blue eyes sparking behind those slutty glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.
after class one day in the second week, you tap him on the shoulder and ask if he understood anything the teacher was talking about.
"uh, yeah, sure," he answers, turning around to lean over your desk and explain confidence intervals while you stare at his cute pink lips the whole time instead of listening.
"you're really good at explaining things," you compliment despite not having listened to a word he had said. you learn that you really like how he looks when his face gets all warm and flushed.
"really? um, thanks," he pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose bashfully and you catch yourself wondering how that nose would feel buried between your thighs.
"do you think you could tutor me on this?" you ask sweetly, twirling your pen into your hair. "i'm like... so bad at math," you explain simply, lying through your teeth.
you can see him considering the situation in his mind. pros and cons, how much he really wants to see you every week or so. the answer is clearly a lot when he answers "yeah, i could do that. i have tennis practice pretty much every day, but i'm sure we could find time," he clears his throat when he's done like it took effort to get that many words out when you're looking at him like that.
"really? perfect!" you clap your hands together, a pleased grin breaking out onto your lips. "here, give me your number. so we can.. plan where to meet and stuff," you hand your phone over to him and he seems to get impossibly redder. how cute.
for the first few meetings, you'd meet at the library. you tell him with a pout that you got a c on the first test despite nailing it and you lean in extra close when he comforts you and tells you that you can still pass the class with grades like that, but that's why he's here to help!
you memorize his features and the inflection of his voice when you're supposed to be learning the central limit theorem and always ask him questions about home and tennis and his other classes to get him off track when you get bored of that.
you sit extra close to him, your thighs and your elbows brushing as you make him draw models on your notebook to show you how they work, even if his numbers are slightly off, you can't correct him.
you always wait for him to finish his tests in class first, doodling stars in the margins after you finish so that it doesn't look suspicious. you slowly work up to telling him your real test scores so he can feel accomplished as your tutor. once, when he asks you what you got on an exam, you slip up and casually say 95.
"what?" he asks, eyes wide, clearly astonished, "that's.. awesome."
"all because of you!" you cheer, quickly wrapping him up in a hug to distract him.
eventually, you convince him to start meeting in one of your dorms. it's so much easier than going all the way to the library after all. you lay on your stomach, head practically in his lap as he sits with his back to the wall, notebook or laptop conspicuously hiding the semi he's been rocking ever since seeing you sprawled out on his sheets.
it all comes crashing down one day when you're idly scrolling on your phone as he searches through your desk for some flashcards in preparation for the final exam. what he finds instead is your very first exam from the semester, a big red 100 penned at the top.
"what's this?" he asks, his heart pounding in his chest as he holds it up for you to see. it's unmistakable. your name penciled in at the top next to stat 202, section 4. and a fat red 100. even circled for emphasis and a little great job from your professor. the test you had told him you got a c on. the test he had barely scraped by with a b.
you glance up casually, your heart stopping in your chest as you register what he's holding. your eyes flick up to his, the expression on your face making it clear to him that you weren't expecting him to find that. "i.. um..." you start, not quite sure how to explain it away this time.
"what's the square root of 196?" he asks suddenly, like he's quizzing you. you can't tell if he's angry or not, his expression stony as he looks at you, only his blue eyes giving away the hint of betrayal.
"14?" you answer correctly, knowing you can't go about fooling him anymore.
he sighs, his hand holding the test falling to his side and his head falling back to look up at the ceiling.
"i'm sorry, art," you're immediately sliding off your bed to approach him, a regretful look on your face. and you really are. you didn't want to lie to him, not really, but you just had to get to know him.
"why did you lie to me?" he asks, finally looking down at you again, the hurt clear on his face this time.
"i'm sorry," you repeat, softer this time, intertwining your fingers with those of his free hand. "i just... i wanted to talk to you. to spend time with you," you try and explain, knowing it's still not exactly justified.
"you couldn't have just talked to me like a normal person? asked me to hang out, get coffee or something?" he asks and you cringe at the accusation in his tone.
"i just.. it was the first thing i thought of. and then i liked spending time with you so much, i just had to keep up with the lie or i thought i'd lose you and..." you trail off, looking down at your feet in shame. you know you betrayed his trust, you're simply praying he'll give you another chance.
he sighs softly again, his hand gingerly coming up to you jaw to tilt your head up to look at him again. "you're not going to lose me," he insists, his eyes looking much softer now as he takes you in. "but i think maybe you should be the one tutoring me," he teases, a small smile gracing his features that makes you sag with relief.
"i'm sorry," you sigh again as he pulls you into his chest. you wrap your arms around him, breathing in his scent and thanking whatever it is out there that's clearly on your side.
"shh," he shushes you gently, placing a kiss to the top of your head. "i forgive you. this time," he adds with a chuckle that inflates your chest. a second chance is all you need. statistically, you had to be much more likely to get it right the second time.
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burningcheese-merchant · 8 months ago
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Ok, I have good news and bad news regarding the BurningCheese time travel AU (that sounds more and more ridiculous every time I say/type it lol)
Good news: Not only have I come up with an official title and written an official plot synopsis, I found someone willing to make cover art for the story!
Bad news: The cover art is going to take several months because the artist is busy with more important things at the moment
It sucks to have to wait that long, but I really adore this artist and their style, so I am ready and willing to do so. I will be using the time in between now and then to iron out the details of the AU. There are a lot of important questions (that other people have actually asked me about/brought to my attention, which I really appreciate!) I need solid answers for for the sake of maintaining functioning logic (the actual time travel especially, time travel is a very tricky concept to work with and I need to make sure it actually makes sense or else the entire narrative is broken)
Gonna go ahead and say this much, since people actually seem interested in the idea:
Will probably be sticking to the Back to the Future approach to time travel rather than the Avengers: Endgame one, it's easier for me to grapple with and I don't like how Endgame handled that shit anyway
Timekeeper will continue to appear even after sending Golden Cheese into the past. She's having too much fun with her new made-up soap opera to stay away like she probably should lol
The other Beasts (or Heralds, in this time) will appear, but I will not explain when, how or why
Slow burn romance. Just because Burning Spice is a hero in this time doesn't mean Golden Cheese automatically gets over her fear and hatred of him. The only BS she's ever known up until this point is the Beast of Destruction; the mass-murdering, obsessed lunatic that was actively trying to hurt her before Timekeeper intervenes. She will warm up to Herald Spice eventually, but it will take time and effort on both of their parts
There is an ending. I've already come up with an ending to the story. It came to me while I was out running errands and I simply cannot get over it. It's bittersweet, but I think it fits. Now I need to write everything else around it because I refuse to let it go lol. (You're really not supposed to do this in writing, but I'm forging ahead with the risk this time. I love the ending too much to throw it away)
You're all more than welcome to reach out and ask stuff about the story, even as it's still a WIP; it's been really nice to see people actually express interest in this concept (and as I'm sure you've noticed, I Like To Ramble lol). I just can't reveal the more important parts, so I encourage you to stick to more basic/general comments, questions and/or concerns.
Thank you all for your enthusiasm and your patience! I'm cooking something really special for you all, I promise!
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This, my greatest masterpiece (this, a curse unmatched)
Day 2 of The Long Halloween - event masterlist here
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pairing: bruce wayne x reader (gender neutral, no use of y/n)
length: 7.2k
genre: horror, fluff, hurt/comfort
warnings: gargoyle bruce, vague religious imagery, pretentious artist but I write it with love, reader falls off of the tallest building in Gotham so I hope you're not afraid of heights
a/n: me ??? write a bruce wayne fic ??? ig finally
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"You know they said," you murmur mostly to yourself, smoothing over the block of marble with your palm, "that you're to be my greatest masterpiece. What do you think, hm? Will you live up to it?" Your hand raises, hammer held tightly in your palm as your other hand presses a chisel against the solid stone.
And then you let your arm swing down. The chisel chips away fragments of marble in flying flashes. The project begins. 
It will be a gargoyle, one day, much like all of your other pieces. That is the name that you've carved for yourself in this city - that is the fame that you've sculpted. You're commissioned quite often to build these creatures, to twist them and warp them into something akin to art, having them placed on top of buildings like solitary statues of the night. Monsters twisted out of blocks of stone.
"You know," you continue on as you carve, your breath coming out in a heavy sigh as you sniff and tip your head back, your arms already beginning to feel the weight of the chisel in your hand. "The Mayor, when he asked me for this, I mean - he asked why I choose to do this." 
You readjust your grip, running a thumb over the work that you've done. You'd never carved out of marble before. Other stones, yes - limestone, mainly. It's cheaper and softer - easier to break, easier to bend to your will. But marble? Marble seems to take on a life of its own.
And you will have to break it, you know. You will have to bend nature to your impossible will.
"I told him," you continue, your voice echoing through your studio as you stare at the block of marble, at the creation to be. "But I don't think he listened. They never really do, do they?"
Gargoyles, you'd reminded the Mayor as he'd signed your cheque, are purveyors of evil, creatures that drip malice and violence onto the darkened city below. However, it has also been believed that gargoyles are protectors against evil, that they act as great guardians that watch over cities and towns to keep the evil away. It's been thought that they hold curses at bay.
It's always seemed to be a bit of a mystery, then, that Gotham has so many gargoyles dotted along its rooftops and lining its skyline. Because Gotham is where curses are born. It's where they fester and breed. 
"Sometimes," you continue on, stepping back to stare at one of your sketches and chewing on your lip in thought. "I think that you just… Well, it's that you sort of just catch all of the evil in this world. Someone has to shoulder it. Someone has to swallow it." You glance around, then, at the various sketches and designs and photographs of old pieces that are scattered around the studio. Every gargoyle, every face - they all have their mouths open, snarling and snapping. 
"That's why I make you," you say easily, raising the hammer again. "Someone has to be the villain. Someone has to take the fall."
But it's not quite fair, you think, for Gotham to swallow all of the evil in this world. It's not quite fair, you consider, for you to be the one cursed with creating that evil. It's not quite right, you feel, to create these creatures over and over as they swallow endlessly, a hunger living within them that cannot be satiated.
"You're going to be alone, though, you know," you point out, running your hand along the veins of the marble. "That makes you different, I suppose. City Hall only wants one." But maybe you get it, you think, as you stand back and stare. 
It's to be your greatest masterpiece, they told you. One creature, alone, looming on the rooftop and looking out onto the city.
It's to be your greatest masterpiece, they'd reminded you as you'd taken the cheque, folding it and tucking it into your pocket. It's to be the city's pride and joy. 
"May I ask?" you'd said at the time. "Why me? There are plenty of artists in this place who'd kill for something like this."
"I'm sure you know why," the Mayor had huffed. "And this is important, so don't blow it."
"That's why I'm asking," you'd pressed. "Why me, to create something so holy?" The Mayor rolls his eyes at the question, crossing his arms over his chest and grumbling, but he humours you nonetheless.
"People talk about your work," he explains, like the words are being pulled from him against his better judgement. "They love to say that… well, I'm sure you've heard it. People say that your statues come to life at night."
"It's just a figure of speech," you soothe, but your grin makes him scowl.
"Of course it is," he snaps. "They're not real, they're not alive. But… but…" he begins to search for the words, struggling as you laugh.
"It's the soul, of course," you murmur to the block of marble, brushing away stray debris and dust. "You have to carve a soul into things to make people feel for them. And I… want that. I need that." Your chisel chips away more of the stone and you grip onto it tighter. You need it, you think. You need to make people swear that your creatures stand and stretch their wings and come alive by the light of the moon.
The days begin to feel endless after that, and the work continues on and on and on. There are much smaller carvings, busts and faces and hands - little elements of practice and failure scattered around countless tables that sit in your studio. But the floor has a large spot cleared in the centre, now, for the huge, looming block of marble to sit.  
The work is hard. It makes your arms ache and your muscles burn as you spend neverending days chipping away at the stone. It takes much longer than it had for any of your other carvings for this one to begin to finally become something. It feels like time stretches endlessly before the figure of a man is finally apparent, rough and undetailed and jagged, with two shapes that will soon be huge wings sprouting from his back. 
But that's how you leave him, one night, a white sheet thrown over him. You pause on your way out of the studio, one of your hands rubbing at your shoulder as it aches under the constant work. The calluses on your palms have begun to throb, the skin ripping and bleeding in places. Your head pounds, as well, the tension in your arms and shoulders twisting and clenching your muscles until the pain radiates through you.
He'll be worth it, you tell yourself. He'll be your greatest masterpiece.
You find yourself more than slightly unprepared, however, for your return to your studio in the morning. You find yourself more than a bit taken aback by the sight that awaits you. You're just pushing open the door, rubbing at your forehead and grumbling about your poor night's sleep to yourself when you step on something just inside the doorway of the great room.
When you lift your foot, you realize that it's a small piece of stone, broken and jagged and crumbling.
Something, you think immediately, is wrong. Your skin pricks in alarm as your heartbeat hammers in your ears and you look to your sides, finally seeing the state that your studio is in. 
The entire room has been turned in on itself. Faces and busts have been smashed and the pieces are strewn across the floor. Sketches that you'd made painstakingly in preparation and had pinned up are torn and shredded. A table by the window has been knocked over and crumpled pieces of stone are strewn around. 
And then there's the marble. In the barest shape of a man, he's not in the crouching position that he'd been in when you'd left him. He's not in the shape that you'd designed him to be. He's caught, instead, lunging toward the door of your studio with the white sheet that had been draped over him now tangled around his torso and legs. There's a desperation in his unmoving form, as if he was trying to escape, to flee this place that's brought him into creation. The breath leaves your lungs in one freezing gasp at the sight, and your eyes widen as your hands tremble and your mind begins to spin.
There's a crumpled piece of paper clenched in his closed fist, you realize, as you take the smallest step forward. Your legs are beginning to feel numb, waves of shock rolling over you in painful rhythms as you take in the sight before you. It takes a fair bit of slow stepping and trembling before you finally pry the scrunched-up paper from his stiff marble hand and unravel it, smoothing it out so that you can see what it is.
It's him. It's the finalized sketch that you'd done of the piece. It's the face that you're going to give him, snarling and violent and cruel, fangs bared like a bat while he spreads his wings out behind him. Your thumb smooths over the writing at the bottom of the page and you breathe out a heavy sigh.
You always name them, of course. Every gargoyle that you've carved, you've given a name. You've breathed life into them in that way. In this finalized sketch, you have his name written across the bottom of the design in scrawling, messy writing.
Bruce.
But he shouldn't be alive, you think desperately as you shove the sketch into your pocket and begin to circle the statue, tapping your knuckles against the solid marble. He's not, you think. He's not, he's not, he's not. He's unmoving, unbreathing, unwaking. He's not alive. He's not alive. He's not alive.
But he was, you suppose, breathing deeply as an eerie sort of calm begins to wash over you. Morning's light begins to stream in through the tall, narrow windows of your studio. The rays of the early sun shine down in beams to shimmer against the cold stone and dance across the rough, half-finished surface.
This is to be your greatest creation, they'd told you. This is to be a curse unmatched. 
The Mayor comes to visit eventually, curious to see how it's taking shape - curious to see how the city's money is being spent. Your studio is in disarray, although if it's again or still, you're not quite sure at this point. You'd cleaned and tidied it at first, putting everything back in its rightful place and sweeping up the debris. 
But when you'd come in the next morning, the space had been destroyed again. Bruce, the gargoyle, had been twisted into a new position once more. You'd cleaned up again, admittedly less so than the first time, and then moved along.
The next day, when you flicked the lights on and were greeted by shredded paper and smashed limestone once more, you'd mostly given up on trying to wrangle it into anything other than the mess that it has now become.
The Mayor steps over small piles of rubble, eyeing you and the way that you roll your shoulders and wince. By now, Bruce has moved again, of course. He's turned his back to the door and is reaching endlessly up toward the light streaming in from the windows, the white sheet clutched tightly in his other hand as if he's ripped it off of himself.
It's like he doesn't know, you think, that gargoyles cannot live in the light of day. It's like he's trying desperately to become something that he is not.
"I'm not sure this is quite what we had discussed," the Mayor grumbles, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the figure. You peek your head around the marble torso to look at him, shrugging in an unbothered sort of way.
"It's art, Mr. Mayor," you say slowly, like you're explaining it for the first time. "It takes on a life of its own. That's sort of the whole idea."
"Don't get smug," he snaps back. "If you were only half as talented as this, you wouldn't be getting away with speaking to any of us in this way." You laugh at his words, leaning closer to the gargoyle to work on his face and neck, carving the veins and tendons into his smooth, stone skin. 
One of his massive hands is curled near your waist as you work, his claws brushing against you as you step closer. It's a coincidence, of course, the way that his fingers are nearly wrapped around your waist. It's serendipitous fate, the way that it seems like he's pulling you closer. He's not alive, after all.
"You never know," you say easily, glancing at the Mayor past Bruce's cold, defined bicep. "Maybe it will turn into something completely different again before the end."
"I don't want that," he says shortly. You pout a bit mockingly and put your hand on the gargoyle's chest as you lean up to examine the work that you'd just done on his neck. "I want what I paid for."
"You paid for me," you snap back, a wild sort of grin flashing across your face. "This is exactly that." The Mayor shuffles on his feet, muttering and grumbling as he stares up at the towering figure of marble and the stepladders that you've left scattered around as you've begun to need the height to reach his face.
"What's his name?" he asks eventually.
"Hm?"
"I know you always name them," the Mayor says stiffly. "What's his name?"
"…Bruce," you say eventually, and as you step back one of his claws catches on the fabric of your shirt, momentarily making you stumble as if he's tugged you closer to him.
"Why name him a thing like that?" the Mayor huffs. You roll your eyes and untangle your shirt from the gargoyle's grip, patting his bicep as you step away from him fully to face the Mayor.
"The name Bruce," you explain with a laborious sigh, "is connected to the willow tree."
"So?"
"So," you continue, exasperation seeping into your tone, "the willow tree symbolizes life. New life, rebirth, morphing into something different."
"It's just a statue," the Mayor says dully. "There's no need to act like it's anything more."
"If he's just a statue," you challenge, and when you stand in front of Bruce, his wings spread out behind you like some kind of omen, "then why do you want him so badly?"
There's no response to that, you suppose, as the Mayor just huffs and grumbles and says something about upcoming meetings as he makes a hasty departure. Not that you care much, too preoccupied with staring up at the gargoyle's face and watching him take shape. 
It's to be your greatest masterpiece, right? You may as well make it something grand then, right?
It takes months for the creation to be completed enough for it to be transferred to the rooftop of City Hall. The weather has begun to turn by now, your breath coming out in foggy clouds and your fingers freezing in your pockets as you watch the movers gently adjust the giant sculpture into his new home.
It's here that you're supposed to do the final touches on him, smooth him out and polish him and perfect him. It's here that your art is meant to come to life. As the movers are bickering back and forth about the weight of the thing and how to make sure that it's placed safely, you begin to ignore them and choose to look out toward the city, instead. From here, you can see glimpses of everything - every statue, every carving. You can see every part of Gotham that you've left your mark on, every crack and crevice where you've carved yourself into the lifeblood of the city.
When you look beside you once more, your newest creation stands tall and proud, his marble glimmering under the sun and shining through the everlasting fog of the frantic city. He's to be your greatest masterpiece, you remember as you pull off your gloves and smooth your hand over him. He's to be the protector that bears the weight of the entire city on his shoulders. 
What a burden, you think, as you're handed your kit and you begin to dig around for your tools. What a burden to be built as such a thing.
What a burden, you think, to be the thing that always builds this.
But it is on this day, nonetheless, that he's finished. With a chisel and a hammer, you carve life into marble. You mould and sculpt, like something holy creating something damned. The day wears on until the sun begins to dip below the horizon once more and the two of you are bathed in hues of pink and violet and deep, deep blue. 
It's when the sun finally drops low enough that darkness reigns that you finally drop your chisel, your hands throbbing and your head pounding and your face frozen from the cold. You wonder, as you stare up at the gargoyle's looming form and feel a panic start to fester within you, what on earth you're supposed to do, now that you've fulfilled your only purpose.
That hollowness, you find, sort of sticks with you, clinging to your soul and wrapping around you as you make your way home in the depths of the night. The buildings of Gotham tower around you, your own statues leering down at you from rooftops with vicious snarls, as if they're mocking you for your own hubris… as if they're cackling at the sick karma of it all.
Like Icarus falling from the sun, you wander through the twisting, winding streets and back roads, the darkness blanketing over you and crushing you under the weight of it all, under the curse of this city. 
A shadow flickers overhead and you keep your eyes trained on the ground, almost afraid to look up. It's as if you've become afraid of your own creations, terrified of them outgrowing you and leaving you behind.
You can't even bring yourself to return home, you realize, turning instead to head to your studio and sit in the silence of the now-empty room. There's a large, empty patch of floor in the middle where Bruce had stood for so long, and as you walk through the space, crumbled stone and torn-up paper crunch under your shoes and you feel something hollow eating at you from the inside out.
That was to be your greatest masterpiece, you think. And now he's gone.
When you wake the next morning, it's on the floor of your studio, your jacket rolled up under your head as a makeshift sort of pillow and light streaming in from the windows. The notifications on your phone, though, as you grumble and rub at your sore neck and check the news, have you shooting upright to a stumbling stand. 
News has broken out all over the city of destruction, some kind of vandalism having taken place overnight. Gargoyles all across the city have been destroyed, smashed and battered and knocked from their posts.
You scroll through the news feeds frantically, something akin to dread curling in your gut as you sift through photographs of your creations, crumbled and attacked and lying in pieces across rooftops. 
There are rumours spreading across the news outlets of people having seen a dark, flying shape swooping over the city. Some, mainly a few of the rather less reputable news sources, claim that it was the Mothman.
But you just shake your head and scoff at that. People will believe anything these days, you think.  No one knows who could've done it. No one knows how it really could've happened.
But as you stare at the wall of your studio, finished photographs of Bruce on the night before he was transported out of this space hang on the wall and mock you. You stare at them and something settles deep in your gut, a knowing sort of pain stabbing into you there. 
You know what happened. You're sure of it.
It doesn't take long to weasel your way into getting roof access at City Hall - something about needing to make final touches on the gargoyle and how you're sure the Mayor wouldn't be happy if you weren't allowed to work. You just claim that you need to see the carving again - you need to fix something, need to put your hands on it one more time.
Sure enough, when you get up there you're faced with the evidence of it all. There are chips and gouges in Bruce's fingers, his claws dulled and broken - like he had spent the night clawing and breaking and destroying across the city. 
He looks… like a protector, you suppose, with his scars and his dents and his looming wings spread wide. And you… you are his creator, after all. So you sit in front of him, trying to rub the cold from your fingers before taking his huge, freezing hands in yours so that you can polish and smooth and repair the damage that he's done to himself and you. 
You're trying to rub the feeling back into your fingers, your hands trembling from the cold and the pressure of your work, when the sun finally begins to dip below the horizon. You'd finished your fixing and your polishing hours ago, leaving Bruce to, instead, sit by the edge of the roof and simply wait. You sit with your back to him, staring out toward the endless, cursed city and you wonder if this is what it's like to be one of your creations - if this is what it's like to wait for something holy to happen.
When the sun finally does disappear beyond the skyline, the impossible wall of fog hazing the colours of dusk, you begin to hear him behind you. It's a creaking sort of noise, marble grinding and crunching against itself as he begins to move, as he begins to breathe life into himself.
So it's true, you think weakly, standing ever so slowly and keeping your back to him. He's alive, he's alive, he's alive.
Still, knowing it in theory and seeing it with your waking eyes are two different things, and when you turn to face him it's like all of the air has been punched out of your lungs. Bruce stands in front of you now, huge and powerful and terrifying, with razor-sharp claws that gleam in the darkness and wings that spread so far that they black out the horizon behind him and around you.
You stand frozen and you watch him and you wonder in a dizzying, endless sort of way what sort of a thing you are for creating a creature like him. It's a bit like staring god in the face, you think nauseously, when he stares down at you with his towering, imposing gaze. 
And you can't really help it - it just makes you wonder… are you anything like a god for making him? Or is it all… him? Can you claim responsibility for bringing something like this to life?
You're beginning to spiral, your heart hammering so loudly in your chest that if you had a bit of rational thinking left, perhaps you'd be concerned about it bursting from you. But then Bruce reaches for you, wrapping one giant, clawed hand around your waist and lifting you up as you shriek and he spreads his wings to bring the two of you into the sky.
He soars up and up and up, keeping you in a firm grip with one hand and pressing your back against his chest to keep you steady. Not that that comforts you much as you cling onto his bicep and forearm, digging your nails impossibly into the marble as the tangled, twisting streets of Gotham flash by underneath the two of you. 
He brings you to the clock tower eventually, dropping you ever so gently and letting you steady yourself with gasping breaths and shaking knees. It's the tallest building in the city, and your head spins as you look out and can see the whole of Gotham sprawling out at your feet. 
"Oh my god…" you murmur as you stare out with wide eyes, able to see, from this vantage point, all of the destruction that he'd caused the night before. "Bruce… what have you done?"
"What have you done?" he says in response, his voice rumbling from behind you in a deep bass. "You are what made me, after all."
"No!" you shout as you whirl on him, glaring up at him with panicked eyes. "I didn't make you into this. I didn't make you do this."
"You created a monster," he responds calmly, reaching for you. You let him, your breath held as you tremble. But he's gentle, brushing a stone knuckle across your cheek and wiping away a tear that you hadn't realized had fallen. "You cannot be upset when monstrous things follow."
"You were… you were supposed to protect the city," you respond quietly, your brows furrowing as you look up at him. "That's what you were made for. I… I gave you life, perhaps, yes. But - why use it for this?"
"You are my creator," Bruce responds simply, and his massive hand trails down to wrap around your throat with a delicate, barely-there touch. "I am made of you. My weight is on your shoulders."
"No!" you shout again, pulling away from him and stepping back. "I have made you, yes, but I've… I've released you out into the world. You've taken on a life of your own, have you not? You are made of yourself now, aren't you? You… you brought yourself to life… didn't you?"
"Did I?" he muses, but there's an uncertainty in the stone rumble of his voice. "I'd always thought that it was you. You drew me, after all. Carved me from a block of stone."
"You… I - what?" you ask desperately. "Bruce, I… you remember all of that?"
"Of course," he says simply, and when you clutch your chest and make a panicked sort of noise, he steps toward you. "I was there when you built me. I was there when you carved me out of nothing and turned me into this. And I have to wonder…" He steps further, still, until you have to crane your head back to look up at him, at his stormy eyes and furrowed brows and snarling face. "I wonder… if you made me, why… why turn me into something evil?"
"I didn't," you say weakly, stepping away from him and glancing back as the edge of the roof gets precariously close. "I didn't… who brought you to life, really, Bruce? Are you sure it was me? Are you sure it wasn't you?"
"Are you saying that you didn't?" he questions, stepping toward you for every step that you take back.
"I'm saying that I don't know," you answer desperately, an edge to your voice. "I'm saying that maybe - it's… it doesn't matter, Bruce."
"What?"
"It doesn't matter who built you. Can you not just belong to yourself now? You belong to yourself, don't you?" He frowns at your words, stepping closer still. When you step back this time, your heel catches the edge of the roof and your heart lurches painfully in terror at the drop behind you. 
"You made me," he says, pressing further.
"You belong to yourself," you repeat. "Learn… learn to live for yourself, Bruce. You are not mine anymore. You belong to yourself." He snarls a bit more at that, taking another step forward. This time, though, you have nowhere left to go, and when you step back there's only open air and the crisp fog of night to catch you.
So you fall… from the impossible height of the clock tower and toward the city that writhes with malice, you fall. And you think, as you feel the air rush past your ears, that perhaps this is the only way that it should be - death by your own creation, by your greatest masterpiece, thrown off of the highest point in a city that you helped to build. Perhaps this is how it feels to really, truly take a fall.
But it's not the ground that meets you. It's the feeling of cold, solid marble, instead, that wraps around you and hauls you up and up and up again. It's Bruce, with his arms keeping you pressed against his chest until he has you safely back on the top of the clock tower, this time with him standing between you and the edge of the roof. 
"You… saved me," you say slowly, your words coming out in halting gasps as your teeth chatter from the cold and the shock of it all. 
"How could I not?" he responds easily, and he reaches forward to smooth a large palm over your cheek gently. "How could I not come for you? How could I not follow wherever you go?"
"You don't have to," you say quietly.
"But I will," he responds in that sturdy, solid way of his. You lean against the solid wall of the large clock face and sigh, your knees buckling slightly at the weight of it all as you look up at him with anguish.
"Is that what it was all about?" you whisper. "The… the studio, the… the things you did there?" You think back to it all, to the destruction of your space, to the ripping up of the sketches and the smashing of the practice busts. You think back to him, frozen mid-movement, always clawing at himself, trying to rip himself from your grasp. 
A tear rolls down your cheek and your bottom lip trembles. Bruce just shushes you gently, brushing his clawed thumb against the frozen, bluish tint of your lip and stroking your cheek.
"You created me," he says lowly. "So why did you turn me into something evil?"
"I didn't…" you say, your voice catching and warbling. "I didn't know. I didn't know I could create anything that wasn't that. I didn't know that my hands could shape anything other than malice."
"How foolish," Bruce murmurs gently, cupping your face in both of his hands now so that he can wipe away the tears that have started streaming down your cheeks, "to think such a thing when you made me with this love. How foolish to think… when you made me love you like this." His face is close to yours now, so close that your noses brush together and his eyes bore into yours.
"Can you?" you say quietly. "Can you really love someone like me? Can you fall in love with the thing that made you?"
"That depends," he responds simply, so close to you now that your lips brush against his. "Can you ever really love me back?" The way he kisses you, then, probably proves that you both can. He presses you against the clock face, hard marble leaning against you and keeping you steady as your head spins and you grab onto his biceps. Around you, the city rages on, swirling and moving and tangling in on itself as night blankets the two of you and he wraps his wings around you, shielding you from the outside world.
"Bruce," you say quietly, parting from him just enough to speak. "Why did you destroy all of the others? They aren't - they weren't even alive. Not like you. You're… you're the only one like this. Why did you do it?"
"Because," he offers honestly, trailing his lips across your cheek and down the side of your neck. "I didn't want you to ever love them more than you love me."
"How foolish," you quip back, but its effect is dimmed by the breathless quality of your voice as Bruce presses further against you and tightens his grip on your waist, "to think that I could ever love anything more than I love my greatest masterpiece." Bruce laughs at that, an action so carefree that it feels almost holy as he throws his head back and lets his wings spread wide.
You look past him as he moves, staring back out towards the endless, mangled streets of Gotham and the curses that fester within them. Bruce smoothes a hand over your back and sobers as you look out with furrowed brows, glancing over the rooftops and the crumbled remains of your work. The past spirals endlessly before you and behind you and a need takes hold, a burning drive to move forward, to reach further.
"Have I…" you begin quietly, still looking past him. "Have I been protecting it? Or have I just been… feeding it?" You look up at Bruce again, then, something desperate and imploring in your gaze. "You belong to yourself, now, Bruce. You have to move forward. I - we both do."
"What am I supposed to do?" he asks somberly. "What am I supposed to do with a life that I did not choose?"
"Anything," you answer simply, spreading your arms wide with the city at your back now. "You own the night, Bruce. You own Gotham City. You can do anything."
"But," he begins, frowning. You just shake your head and continue, the freezing night air making your breath fog between the two of you.
"It doesn't matter, Bruce… It doesn't matter how you were created. It doesn't matter what you were made to be. It only matters what you choose." 
"What…" he begins slowly. "What am I to choose?"
"Anything," you stress. "The night belongs to you, Bruce. Choose what you want to do with it." He blinks, then, rolling his shoulders back and he stares past you and out toward the shining city. 
"It's beautiful, you know," he says, his voice a smooth, pleasant rumble.
"What?" you respond, a bit distracted as you try to rub warmth back into your fingers. He looks down at you rather fondly, then, before he gestures to you with one of his massive hands. And that's all that it takes, really, to have you closing the distance between the two of you. He wraps his giant arm around you, tucking you into the safety of his side as he wraps a wing around you, blocking the frigid wind and letting you shiver. 
"Gotham," he clarifies, and you look up at him while he looks out, his eyes shining with something that looks suspiciously close to love as he stares at the city. "It's beautiful."
"You know," you muse, letting one of your hands rest against his chest as the other searches for his own hand so that you can curl your fingers around his, "I'd never really… I don't know. I guess I've just never really looked at it that way."
"How could you not?" he questions, but there's no bite to his voice and when you look up with your nose wrinkled, he laughs once more.
"It's easy, I think," you explain with a shrug. "It's easy to just… get lost in it. All these years I spent being paid to build this city into something more, I… I guess I never really stopped to look at it." Bruce hums in confirmation, rubbing his hand up and down your arm as he continues to shield you from the cold.
"You know," you continue thoughtfully. "Someone really does need to look out for the city."
"What?"
"Gotham… Gotham needs a protector. I'm - I'm not saying you have to. It's… it's your life, Bruce, it's your choice. But I just - I don't know, you…"
"Go on," Bruce says gently, tearing his eyes away from the city to look down at you just as fondly. "Say it."
"I… I made you," you say slowly, a heaviness to your words. "I breathed life into you - I didn't know that I was doing it at the time but - I did. And I can't take that back. You were built to be Gotham's protector, to keep it safe and watch over it through the night. I want you to do that - if you want to. I think… I think you're good at what you're made to be. I think that, maybe, we both are." Bruce sighs at your words, a contented sort of thing as he reaches to smooth a thumb between your furrowed, anxious brows. 
"So I was right," he says easily. "We really are just the things that we were made to be, at the end of it all."
"Maybe it's just… not so bad?" you offer waveringly. He smiles down at you, a monster making peace with the malice that drips from his bared teeth, and something feels like it sort of just… settles into place.
"It doesn't have to be bad at all, I don't think," he offers gently. You sigh and let your forehead thump forward against the cool marble of his chest.
"Where would I be without you?" you murmur. A laugh rumbles through him, jostling you as you lean against him. 
"Victim of the Mayor's wrath, no doubt," he jokes. You lift your head to glare up at him, flicking his solid marble chest. 
"The Mayor loves me," you say haughtily.
"He does not," Bruce responds easily, but when you begin to splutter out protests he's quick to silence you with another kiss, bringing you closer to him with a tight grip.
"What will you do now?" he whispers against your lips. Something in you lurches painfully, a panic stirring.
"Oh," you say hollowly. "Right. I…" But then you look out toward the city, toward the ruin and the failure. Your greatest masterpiece having already outgrown you, you can feel yourself begin to spiral endlessly, your hands itching to bring life to something, to do something that makes you worth it. 
But then your fingers twitch, the calluses on your palms burning from the cold air, and you feel a sort of calmness overtake you as you look out toward the crumbling statues with new light. 
"I think," you say carefully, "that I have some things to rebuild. I think I have a new life to make for myself." Bruce hums in understanding, a hand stroking over the back of your head. "But," you continue, tipping your head back to look up at him with big, round eyes. "I certainly wouldn't mind working more often at night now. What do you say?"
"How could I say anything but yes," he rumbles back, "to my creator?"
"You're an awful distraction," you murmur as you work, chisel in hand as you feel a razor-sharp claw trace delicately up the length of your spine underneath your shirt. You're on the rooftop of the Bank of Gotham, night wrapping around you and Bruce as you work at recarving and smoothing out the mistakes of the past, buffing them out with new stone and new hope. If only there wasn't a slinking, skulking gargoyle who doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself. 
"I'm not sure what you mean," Bruce muses as he curls around you, his wings churning the night air. It's warmer these days, the cold front having passed months ago to make way for hotter, stickier nights. 
"Yes you do," you quip back, but your smile gives away your lack of real annoyance. He's an awful distraction, yes, but it's so worth it to be intertwined with him, you think. The artist and the muse, tangled endlessly just like the city that created them.
"I'm helping," Bruce murmurs stubbornly, burying his head in your shoulder and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. 
"You've already helped plenty," you say slyly, but the way that he hums in confirmation and presses closer has heat rising to your cheeks.
"I could always help again -"
"No," you splutter out. "Bruce, the sun is going to come up soon. You need to be back at City Hall before the night is over."
"I'll make it in time," he says distractedly, training his lips over your neck and slipping his massive, clawed hands under your shirt.
"You will," you laugh at him as you squirm away from him, standing and teetering on the edge of the rooftop. Bruce frowns and reaches for you, wrapping a secure arm around your waist to keep you steady. "You will," you repeat calmly, "because you're going to leave now. I'll come up and sit with you in the morning if you'd like. I have some sketches to work on."
"It's not the same," he says, a frown still tugging at his lips.
"I know," you soothe. "But it's only during the day."
"Promise me something, then," he whispers as he draws you in to wrap around you one last time before daybreak.
"Anything," you respond honestly.
"Come back for me," he says lowly, pressing a final kiss to your lips. "Come back to put your hands on me again when night falls. Come back to turn me into something good."
"You've already done most of that for yourself, you know," you murmur back, your lips brushing against his. "But… always. I'll always come back for you." And you mean it, of course, as you reach for him one last time before he has to flee. You'll always stand next to him while he moulds himself into something new, day after day after day. Just as he will always do the same for you.
Morning really has begun by the time you're making your way out of the bank, trying yet again to roll the everlasting tension out of your shoulders as you walk outside. The sun is cresting over the city, making the buildings shimmer as the newer gargoyles shine with flecked limestone on top of the towering rooftops. 
But there's still only one of them that's made of marble, and he stands, now, on top of City Hall. You stop outside of the bank to look up at Bruce, staring at the way that his wings splay out as he snarls. The sun is rising up from behind him and it begins to bathe the gargoyle in a holy, glowing halo of endless golden light that fights through the constant fog of Gotham.
He looks sort of like an angel, you think as you giggle to yourself, the calluses on your palms burning with the memory of carving him. He looks like something holy. 
But really, you know… you know that you did not tell him to stand like that - that you did not carve him in that pose. You know that you did not lift the sun to shine down onto him. He did that for himself. 
As the sun crests even further, shining past him and onto your face, breaking through the murky, polluted air just enough to breathe warmth onto your skin, you know that you've done it for yourself, too.
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luigra · 2 months ago
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do you have any skinning tips? mistakes you see too many people make or techniques you don’t see people use enough
also you mentioned random noise being bad. does that apply to opacity too? my skin has fuzzy leggings so the opacity is randomized and i like how it looks but if you have a better technique i’d appreciate it
(prompted by your post abt skin streams. “skin streams”… that’s a horrifying term out of context…)
So this is a topic that I& wanted to make a whole post where I& would analyze Joe's skins and give my& insight on how they could be improved, so I&'ll be using his skins as examples in this post!
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So there are several reasons why most skinners don't use random noise anymore. For one, it makes it slightly more difficult to recolour skins for the future (a thing that I& know for a fact Joe wants to do). For two, Minecraft skins are a form of pixel art, and every single pixel you use matters.
We can turn to Minecraft's wool block to see how the game itself does fuzzy cloth textures:
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You can see that instead of doing a random noise pattern, the texture uses a pattern of doubling up the pixels to replicate the way fur and fuzz naturally separates into strands! Now, in a Minecraft skin we would have much less space to do this, but it's still very much a similar technique for things like fur!
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What you see me& doing here is using a similar streaks pattern plus the top layer for additional volume and so that in certain places it creates additional thin shading lines (such as on the arms), a thing Joe cannot do because he opted to use the top layer for the jackets that can be taken off. It might seem like a good idea to do that, but the problem is that the situations in which you take off your top skin layer are very rare (can't even recall a single time he did that tbh), and the downsides of not having an additional layer of volume to work with are not worth it.
Here's another example of how to replicate a different fuzzy texture, one with short fuzz clumps instead of long fur:
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Then there is the question of colour palettes - when you use noise, you lose control over your colour palette. It's common knowledge in art that you should hue shift when shading, but noise is only ever going to shade your texture with black and white. As you can see in the above examples, I& can make the highlights on the texture a desaturated yellow-ish and the shadows a cold blue, or use a reddish transition between the shades of fur just like in real animals.
There is no one universal pattern for how to do a fuzzy cloth texture, but the brain likes a consistent pattern, and it also makes shading much easier to do when you're not using a noise for it!
Now, as for that hair.... It uses this same thing you described where the opacity varies. In theory, there isn't anything.... inherently wrong with that? Hair in real life can sometimes have a bit of a transparent quality? But a reason why this technique isn't used much is because it looks less like hair with anti-aliasing and more like you have a transparent brown plastic bag on your head? A brown cloud? At the scale of Minecraft skins, we register each individual pixel as its own little detail, and the transparent pixels represent transparent objects.
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Here's an example where this is completely fine to do - the object is supposed to be a semi-translucent and textured sleeve, so the transparent pixels carry across exactly the meaning intended. You'll also notice that the texture utilizes another common pattern - checkerboard dithering! Dithering of this kind is usually reccomended to be used sparsely, but it's a very simple way to add texture with meaning and intent rather than noise. This sort of texture best fits things such as tights on legs!
So yeah, I& can imagine a really good application of changing opacity for texture, and it's certainly not a crime, but the way Joe is using it specifically doesn't look intentional, it looks like random scribbles on the head. Just do anything other than randomly scribble. Please. It's not even shaded. Can you imagine what a nightmare it would be to shade random scribble noise.
(Now, as for a bonus, I&'ll actually show a skin that breaks all of these rules that I& made a while ago:
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It's a skin that depicts a person with a cloud of TV static for skin. And wanna know a fun fact? Even this skin wasn't made using PMC's noise tool. I& actually did all of the upper layer manually because the glitch effect looks nicer that way. You can see how the horizontal streaks actually make the noise effect look MORE like static than if I& used a completely randomized noise. I& agonized over this, btw.)
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olderthannetfic · 1 year ago
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Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.
--
Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.
There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.
I enjoy the actual process of writing.
I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.
I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.
To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.
I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.
vimeo
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youtube
The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.
--
But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.
No, writing for attention isn't worth it.
The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.
But that's not actually why most people write.
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galaxysupreme17 · 8 months ago
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Cooking Dinner Together
Y/n = Your Name
AgathaRio x daughter!reader!
The Harkness-Vidal household was quiet, save for the gentle hum of a record player spinning an old jazz tune in the background. Y/n stood in the kitchen, her hands busy unpacking groceries from a brown paper bag. A determined smile tugged at her lips as she reached for her apron, a soft blue one with little embroidered stars her Mama had gifted her last Christmas. Sliding it over her head, she snagged it around her waist before twisting her long, wavy hair into a high ponytail. Her hair, nearly identical to Agatha's, gleamed under the warm kitchen light, the resemblance unmistakable.
"This is going to be perfect," she murmured, rolling up her sleeves and surveying the ingredients before her.
Y/n was determined to cook dinner for her parents as a surprise—a small token of appreciation for everything they did for her. It wouldn't be fancy, just a cozy, comforting meal of homemade pasta with marinara sauce, garlic bread, and a simple salad.
She had just started kneading the dough for the pasta when she heard the unmistakable creak of the staircase. Her heart sank slightly. Please don't come down yet. Just stay distracted a little longer, she thought, but her luck ran out as Rio appeared in the doorway.
"Cariño," Rio said, her voice warm with amusement. "What's going on here?"
Y/n froze for a moment before plastering on a sheepish smile. "Hi, Mom. Nothing. Just... cooking dinner."
Rio raised an eyebrow, her dark eyes sparkling. "By yourself?"
"Yes, by myself," Y/n replied firmly, dusting her hands with flour.
Rio stepped further into the kitchen, hands on her hips. "Do you need help? It's dangerous to leave your mother hungry for too long."
"I've got it under control!" Y/n insisted.
But Rio was already reaching for her amulet, the green crystal glinting in the light. With a wave of her hand, a stack of bowls and a whisk floated into the air, arranging themselves neatly on the counter.
"Mom!" Y/n groaned, throwing her hands up. "No magic! This is supposed to be—"
"A surprise for us? I know," Rio said with a grin, "but why not make it easier?" She flicked her wrist, and the pasta dough began kneading itself, the rolling pin spinning on its own like a small cyclone.
When Y/n opened her mouth to protest, another voice interrupted from the hallway. "What's all this racket?"
Agatha's voice was unmistakable, smooth, and teasing as she sauntered into the kitchen. She took one look at the magical chaos and smirked. "Oh, so we're using magic in the kitchen now? No wonder I smelled trouble."
Rio turned to her wife, feigning innocence. "Trouble? I'm just helping."
"You're cheating," Agatha countered, striding to Y/n's side. She gently plucked a wooden spoon from the counter, examining it as if testing its quality. "Cooking is an art, Rio. You can't just wave your little green crystal around and call it a meal."
Y/n pinched the bridge of her nose. "Mama, I don't need help—"
"Nonsense," Agatha interrupted, tying an apron around her waist. Her tone turned mock-serious. "This is a family affair now."
"Great," Y/n muttered under her breath.
The kitchen quickly devolved into chaos.
Rio, ever the practical Green Witch, attempted to use her magic to speed up every process. She summoned a bunch of herbs from the garden, their leaves swirling into a vortex before landing in a perfect pile on the counter. But in her haste, she accidentally summoned a little too much basil, and soon, it was raining green leaves all over the kitchen.
"Oops," Rio said, brushing basil out of Y/n's hair with a chuckle.
Meanwhile, Agatha took the opposite approach, insisting on doing everything manually. She dramatically rolled up her sleeves and declared herself the "Sauce Queen," taking over the marinara with the flair of a Broadway performer.
"Proper sauce needs care and attention," she said, her voice dripping with mock sophistication. "Not shortcuts, mon amour." She shot Rio a sly grin.
Rio crossed her arms. "Care and attention don't mean hovering over a pot for two hours, cariño."
Y/n sighed as the bickering began. "Can we please focus?"
Y/n quickly took charge, assigning tasks like a diplomat brokering peace between two rival nations.
"Mom, you can work on the salad. By hand," she added pointedly, narrowing her eyes at Rio.
"Fine," Rio said with a playful pout, grabbing a knife and chopping vegetables precisely.
"And Mama," Y/n continued, turning to Agatha, "you're still on sauce duty, but no more taste-testing. You've had, like, ten spoonfuls already."
"Eleven," Agatha corrected, smirking as she stirred the pot.
Y/n couldn't help but laugh despite herself. It was chaos—basil in her hair, flour smudged on her cheeks, and garlic bread dangerously close to burning—but it was her chaos, her family.
When the meal was ready, the kitchen looked like a war zone. Flour dusted every surface, bits of pasta dough clung to the walls, and a small mountain of basil leaves had somehow ended up in the corner.
Y/n set the table while her parents cleaned up, Rio using her magic to whisk away the worst of the mess despite Agatha's grumbling.
When they finally sat down, Y/n felt a swell of pride as she looked at the steaming plates of pasta, the perfectly toasted garlic bread, and the colorful salad.
"It's not perfect," she admitted, fiddling with her fork.
Agatha reached over and placed a hand over hers. "It's perfect because you made it," she said, her voice soft.
Rio nodded, her smile warm. "And because we made it together."
Y/n rolled her eyes but couldn't hide her grin. "You two nearly destroyed the kitchen."
Agatha and Rio exchanged a look before bursting into laughter.
The conversation flowed easily as they ate, filled with teasing and laughter. Rio complimented Y/n's pasta-making skills while Agatha waxed poetic about the balance of flavors in the sauce, much to everyone's amusement.
By the end of the meal, Y/n felt full—not just from the food but from the love that filled the room.
Later that night, the three of them curled up on the couch, a cozy blanket draped over them as they watched an old black-and-white movie. Y/n nestled between her parents, her head resting on Agatha's shoulder while Rio's hand absentmindedly played with her ponytail.
"Thanks for dinner, Y/n," Agatha murmured, kissing her daughter's temple.
"Yeah, cariño," Rio added, her voice soft. "It was perfect."
Y/n smiled, her eyes drifting shut as the moment's warmth wrapped around her like a second blanket.
In the end, the food didn't matter. What mattered was the time they spent together—flour fights, basil explosions, and all.
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algebraic-dumbass · 4 months ago
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this might be a dumb question but like. how do you learn math without a class/curriculum to follow. i have a pretty solid calculus understanding and I want to pursue more advanced math but like im not sure where to start. what even is like category theory it sounds so cool but so scary???. do you have any recommendations on specific fields to begin to look into/whether its best to learn via courses or textbooks or lectures/etc.? any advice would be super appreciated!! dope blog by the way
thanks for the compliment!
first of all it's not a dumb question. trust me i'm the algebraic-dumbass I know what I'm talking about. okay so uh. how does one learn math without a class? it's already hard to learn math WITH a class, so uhhh expect to need motivation. i would recommend making friends with people who know more math than you so you have like, a bit more motivation, and also because math gets much easier if you have people you can ask questions to. Also, learning math can be kind of isolating - most people have no clue what we do.
That said, how does one learn more advanced math?
Well i'm gonna give my opinion, but if anyone has more advice to give, feel free to reblog and share. I suppose the best way to learn math on your own would be through books. You can complement them with video lectures if you want, a lot of them are freely available on the internet. In all cases, it is very important you do exercises when learning: it helps, but it's also the fun part (math is not a spectator sport!). I will say that if you're like me, working on your own can be quite hard. But I will say this: it is a skill, and learning it as early as possible will help you tremendously (I'm still learning it and i'm struggling. if anyone has advice reblog and share it for me actually i need it please)
Unfortunately, for ""basic"" (I'm not saying this to say it's easy but because factually I'm going to talk about the first topics you learn in math after highschool) math topics, I can't really give that much informed book recommendations as I learned through classes. So if anyone has book recommandations, do reblog with them. Anyways. In my opinion the most important skill you need to go further right now is your ability to do proofs!
That's right, proofs! Reasoning and stuff. All the math after highschool is more-or-less based on explaining why something is true, and it's really awesome. For instance, you might know that you can't write the square root of 2 as a fraction of two integers (it's irrational). But do you know why? Would you be able to explain why? Yes you would, or at least, you will! For proof-writing, I have heard good things about The Book of Proof. I've also heard good things about "The Art of Problem Solving", though I think this one is maybe a bit more competition-math oriented. Once you have a grasp on proofs, you will be ready to tackle the first two big topics one learns in math: real analysis, and linear algebra.
Real analysis is about sequences of real numbers, functions on the real numbers and what you can do with them. You will learn about limits, continuity, derivatives, integrals, series, all sorts of stuff you have already seen in calculus, except this time it will be much more proof-oriented (if you want an example of an actual problem, here's one: let (p_n) and (q_n) be two sequences of nonzero integers such that p_n/q_n converges to an irrational number x. Show that |p_n| and |q_n| both diverge to infinity). For this I have heard good things about Terence Tao's Analysis I (pdf link).
Linear algebra is a part of abstract algebra. Abstract algebra is about looking at structures. For instance, you might notice similarities between different situations: if you have two real numbers, you can add them together and get a third real number. Same for functions. Same for vectors. Same for polynomials... and so on. Linear algebra is specifically the study of structures called vector spaces, and maps that preserve that structure (linear maps). Don't worry if you don't get what I mean right away - you'll get it once you learn all the words. Linear algebra shows up everywhere, it is very fundamental. Also, if you know how to multiply matrices, but you've never been told why the way we do it is a bit weird, the answer is in linear algebra. I have heard good things about Sheldon Axler's Linear Algebra Done RIght.
After these two, you can learn various topics. Group theory, point-set topology, measure theory, ring theory, more and more stuff opens up to you. As for category theory, it is (from my pov) a useful tool to unify a lot of things in math, and a convenient language to use in various contexts. That said, I think you need to know the "lots of things" and "various contexts" to appreciate it (in math at least - I can't speak for computer scientists, I just know they also do category theory, for other purposes). So I don't know if jumping into it straight away would be very fun. But once you know a bit more math, sure, go ahead. I have heard a lot of good things about Paolo Aluffi's Algebra: Chapter 0 (pdf link). It's an abstract algebra book (it does a lot: group theory, ring theory, field theory, and even homological algebra!), and it also introduces category theory extremely early, to ease the reader into using it. In fact the book has very little prerequisites - if I'm not mistaken, you could start reading it once you know how to do proofs. it even does linear algebra! But it does so with an extremely algebraic perspective, which might be a bit non-standard. Still, if you feel like it, you could read it.
To conclude I'd say I don't really belive there's a "correct" way to learn math. Sure, if you pursue pure math, at some point, you're going to need to be able to read books, and that point has come for me, but like I'm doing a master's, you can get through your bachelor's without really touching a book. I believe everyone works differently - some people love seminars, some don't. Some people love working with other people, some prefer to focus on math by themselves. Some like algebra, some like analysis. The only true opinion I have on doing math is that I fully believe the only reason you should do it is for fun.
Hope I was at least of some help <3
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