#why is it so fucking cold today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fizzytoo · 8 months

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i’m so cold someone hold me

#*fizzyspeaks #why is it so fucking cold today #it’s been mostly warm and windy all week #fl and the broken ass weather

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srijellyfishtempura · 2 years

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GIRL

ADELAIDE

MAKE UP YOUR MIND

You can only choose one: 30+C or 25-C. Not both. Fuck you.

#why is it so fucking cold today #is that just me???

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faaun · 9 months

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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)

#self #mori kei #jfashion #NOT really but like.. it's.. adjacent I guess.. forgive me .. I may try using tags again though I kind of got out of the habit ghhj #I need to be... Seen to some degree. I want to start selling clothes and sculptures again to recoup the costs of having to euthanize my cat #and stuff . but that won't be very successful if I have like.. 15 people to sell to lol...#the eternal Hermit Conflict where you hate attention and Being Percieved in general yet in todays capitalist society it is nearly #a necessity to have some form of social network or media presence especially in creative fields. etc. etc. ... kicking screaming wailing #sobbing so on and so forth.. tearfully punching the cold mossy stone walls of my evil wizard tower...#I was also thinking of maybe opening a few sculpture commission slots and maybe Tumblr Blazing that post or something #but.. again.... sobbing crying interacting with the general public oughhf ouuch -500 HP #why can't I just be approached by some wealthy 65 year old woman who is nonsensically infatuated with my art for no #reason and gives me like $10.000 a week for food and art supplies and etc. and I can go fuck off into a cabin in the middle of nowhere #in the uk and just be left alone to work on my projects without even needing to build any form of connections or social presence because I'#already set for life and can just get funding and connections whenever lol.. WHICH not to be ungrateful like obviously I still appreciate #anyone who follows and interacts with my posts. I dont mean it in a 'grrr fuck all of you imbeciles I wish I could delete my blog!!!' or #whatever hhjkjk.. I just mean it more in a like.. I am very socially inept and my mental illness gives me severe social issues so any situ #tion where I'm expected to self promote or network or interact with others generally is nightmarish and stressful for many many reasons #and if I could somehow skip that part and just go straight to being a famous author or somethin.. that would be cool. Which I know EVERYONE #hates networking and stuff but I mean like.. on a level most people could not possibly comprehend.. I am not just an 'introvert'. I am like #doctors declare me incapable of functioning in general society very poor mental health prognosis probably should have a caretaker at #some point type Hermit lol.. ANYWAY ghbhj... alas.. I also feel weird about the sculptures in terms of what to charge for them #and always have which is part of why I stopped selling them. If I charged a fair even like $15 an hour many of them would be like #close to $150+. and nobody is going to pay that for a decoration. that doesn't even factor in like.. supplies or time spent communicating/s #etching the concept (if a commission) etc. etc. I thought it'd be better to just auction them then and let people pay what they want inst #d of a set price but etsy doesnt allow auctions and is it weird to just.. link people to an Art Ebay or something lol..#AAAANYWAY.. the outfit.. I still love these shoes. they're nice and a little Older Style looking. always into pastel florals too lol #(everything is thrifted as usual. excited about the shirt because it's so puffy! it was in the halloween section though ghjhj.. like when i #s october and they make the special aisle in goodwill for 'Costume' clothes even though theyre all just normal stuff I would wear ghg)

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blue-jos10 · 2 years

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day 2381364 of thanking nora that aftg isn't set in fucking highschool

#i woke up in a cold sweat today to make this post #idk why i thought of this lol the dream i was having wasn't even related to aftg #but still i am so grateful #it could have been. people would've gotten away with it too #it would've gotten a show with 30 year old actors #imagine living your life so seriously doing hardcore drugs and therapy and playing a sport because your while existence depended on it #in fucking highschool #jesus #anyway #all for the game #aftg #aftg shitpost #tfc #the foxes #blue's bs

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sugarsnappeases · 13 days

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Hi

hello!!!! you did not ask but i’ve been getting emotional recently about hogwarts…. jen said ‘heart of wizarding britain’ and yeah oh my god it makes me fucking crazy. like. imagine you’ve just been through a year of all-out war. everyone you know is fighting for their lives or in hiding or dead and you don’t know who’s alive and you haven’t spoken to anyone bc you don’t know who you can trust but you get word that the final battle is happening. and not only that but it’s happening at hogwarts. and hogwarts is a place that was always safe and holds so many happy memories and is HOME for so many people and now it’s under attack and so you go, maybe not even necessarily bc you particularly support either side but bc it’s HOGWARTS and hogwarts is HOME and so much love and the crux of so many people’s lives and you just have to go and help where you can. the thought of people piling through that tunnel from the hog’s head makes me fucking insane. like the amount of love in that room. the reunions. the people you thought you’d never see again. and you’re all there joined together to defend the place where you met, where you grew up together, where you became the people that you are today. and maybe you’ll die but hogwarts is home. you couldn’t possibly let it go down without a fight.

i’ve also been thinking about the death eaters who are there ATTACKING the castle. and maybe some of them called it home as well…. like even tom called it home at one point in time and although he’s way too far gone by that point and his memories were probs kinda soured anyway by dumbledore etc there must be some of his death eaters for whom hogwarts was always safety when they were students but now they’re THREATENING that safety. tainting those memories. like do you guys think they felt remorse??? guilt??? horror??? idk it’s just so interesting to me. the fact that the war proper starts (w dumbledore’s death) and ends at hogwarts. it’s really the centre of everything. even without taking the war into consideration it’s the centre of everything. it makes me CRAAAZY

#asks <3 #okay i’ll admit it i’ve been drinking but jen and i were texting about this earlier today and it can get me emotional even while stone cold #sober. it’s just. fucking insane #like it’s just the heart of wizarding britain…. and that’s why it’s so fucking horrible when the death eaters take over as well #like i also get so emotional thinking about hogwarts under snape and the carrows. and the resistance there as well #hogwarts is meant to be safetyyyy it’s meant to be homeeee and imagine it’s all you have. imagine it’s literally the only place you’ve ever #felt safe and now people are getting tortured within its walls…. now people are going missing and you’re being watched constantly and #hogwarts is meant to be homeeee but how can it be when it’s got this poison inside it #god it’s crazy to me #i need to read a fic i miss it #sorry for incoherent rambling xoxoxo

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 month

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#ah yes. my old friend: getting nothing done all day bc im too paralyzed to attempt to read anything #thanks. i hate it here #today felt like i was trapped in october of last year. which was disorienting #bc it was cold ang gloomy out and i just kept listening to doomsday by lizzy mcalpine #itll get better once im back in the habit of things. at least that's what im telling myself. just expect me #to complain a lot bc im back in the torture machine. by which i mean life as a grad student #evolution prof: u should be reading at least 20 papers per week. and shes right but also what if i just lay on the floor and expire #what then? oh hey u use text to speech on papers? that must b super helpful! yeah sure it takes 2 broken things:#my ability to not process audio and not understand text in order to try to put me on a normal reading level.#except that it still fucking sucks and i hate everything.#and it doesnt even fuckibg matter for this class bc shes giving us pdf scans that are image based not text based #so i cant even use text to speech. which is ya kno. real fucking cool. welp. its been real #goodbye to any sort of notion that i appear to kno what im doing. or that i can read anything #oh god. why tf did i decide it was a good idea to come back?#dread! paralyzing dread! oh how ive missed u #unrelated

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umilily · 5 months

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the one thing that sucks about living alone is no one being there to make you soup when you're feeling under the weather

#lily talks #what do you mean I have to get up and cook?#leg hurty.... back too... cold meh #sorry for being so whiny today but it has been a day #Also genuine question why the fuck do my legs hurt?? What the actual fuck is my uterus doing?#I feel like I have the knees of a 90 year old

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rackartyg · 7 months

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in therapy today i just talked about the dark urge and astarion and my therapist was elated about it. it was fantastic. “wow you’ve really been using this story and those characters to process things. that’s amazing!”

the era of being ashamed of my interests is over. it’s apparently Cool and Healthy to use fiction to cope. i wish i could tell fifteen year old me about this it would blow her mind

#she speaks #arctic plays bg3 #bad brains blogging #you’re gonna have to pry SFF from my cold dead hands because ‘this creature is not human but nonetheless a person’ is THE most #important thing ever actually #i love taking my feelings and experiences and externalising and concretising them through metaphor #my favourite thing about astarion is how he both has literal cptsd AND metaphorically through his vampirism #that fucking rules #also shoutout to another thing therapist said today:#she was originally sceptical of my potentially having autism #then she was like ‘ok you have some traits but you’re probably not diagnosable’#then today she was like ‘you make so much sense when one thinks of you through the lense of autism’#amen sister i’ve been right there with you #but now i’m getting my second assessment soon! which won’t change anything about me i am and will be ‘tism-y regardless #but it’s going to be interesting to see what happens #also i told her about my WISC scores and she was like ‘jesus christ tell them to evaluate you for adhd too’ so uhhh #they already screened me for that and i believe i tested negative but let’s see #the WISC score was why i was even referred for an assessment so

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loumauve · 13 days

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the goddamn toast water post just made me utter "history is fucking real" in the most solemn and serious tone of voice, out loud, to myself, in the goddamn bathtub

#life is ridiculous and I'm its biggest clown #in my defense it's not even 9 am and I woke up at 6 for some reason (the reason prob being that I start work at 6 atm)#so I chose (violence) reading Stray Gods fic in bed for a few hours followed by the need to just vibe in the bathtub #I've only just had my coffee and a slice of cold pizza leftover from yesterday and it's such a uni-days thing to do #I've kinda missed it. tho I wasn't drinking coffee back then (how the fuck did I survive mornings without it??)#anyway. feeling very soft and tender abt my past self today. I miss her even if she was just as much of a mess. in different ways #the kind of mess who would openly flirt with some strange dude she didn't really know over the phone #the kind of mess who moved across the country just for a chance at trying with sb she liked who really never wanted to date her #the kind of mess who's always fallen for her best friends and who'll likely never stop #the kind of mess who feel so damn hard for a woman 15 yrs older than her just bc she was kind and sweet and a mess herself #the kind of mess who moved in with a friend she was solidly in love with for a bit who had her boyfriend over most nights #just.. it's not all about those feelings but they're decidedly a big part of why I've ever done anything #and I will prob always miss the friend who'd lie on the train platform with me just giggling into the night as ppl walked past #her head on my stomach and me just feeling so high it felt like I'd never stop floating (just for a while though)#I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that Mi miss just letting my feelings take me places even at the risk of losing it all #I'm so much more hesitant and guarded now. and sure part of it is being medicated for my bipolar. it's good that I don't call strangers #and almost invited them over. or that I no longer walk barefoot through the city at night by myself (usually)#but I do miss just idk. intimacy I guess. and how easily it used to come to me to just try and be open abt wanting it I guess #oh well. best be getting out of the bathtub. it's not a good place to be with these thoughts. and it's too early for this anyway #a day in the life of..

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moongothic · 27 days

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Quick round-up of a few small projects; Scarf. It is a scarf. Used the remaining silk/wool yarn I had left from when our yarn store closed, the yarn was really thin so I ended up holding it double and yeah, got a really cute, comfy Halloween-y scarf. Very happy to have it. I do regret making the stripes as thick as I did, like they look cute but between that and me making the scarf a smidge too wide, I ended up having to cut the scarf shorter than I would've liked because I didn't have enough yarn to make it any longer- at least not with evenly sized stripes. Like had they been thinner I could've repeated the pattern a little longer, but oh well, it is what it is. With the scrap yarn I just made this ugly little neck warmer, and yeah, it'll keep my neck warm indoors.

And then, using the scrap yarns from the bleeding heart sweater, made a very Crimbus-y beanie. Sidenote but I did actually pre-wash the fucking red yarn before knitting this, because I did not want a repeat of the dye bleeding incident. But yeah, it's a beanie. Again, held the yarn double this time and I'm glad I did because oh, it made the beanie so soft. It is so comfy y'all, I can not wait for December so I can wear it. I still have more of that red yarn left though. No clue what I'm doing with it.

#Moon posting #Yarncraft Diary #Yarnblr #Knitblr #Knitting #Why yes you ARE getting two crafting posts in one day today #Look if my neck gets even a little cold I will end up with a sore throat in an instant. But nothing I own has a high collar/turtleneck #And I don't want to wear scarfs indoors that's just inconvenient for me #So the little neckwarmer actually works fine for me #Hilariously I did actually run out of the white Malabrigo when doing the rim of the beanie #And I was just gonna leave it the way it was but once I was done and looked at it... I just needed a white pompom SO BADLY #The hat looked so sad and miserable without one #So while I was getting the plushie stuffing I did end up getting one ball of like some Drops wool/alpaca yarn (it was on discount too)#Just so I'd have something to make the pompom with because. Yeah I had no white yarn in my stash beyond some thin cotton yarns #Which do not work for making pompoms. (Trust me I tried and ended up wasting yarn) (Used it for plushie stuffing but still)#The natural white of the Drops matches the Malabrigo perfectly though so you literally wouldn't be able to tell it's a different yarn #Like maybe if you looked closely you might notice the rim is knit double (so the actual yarn there is thinner) but that's it #IDK I know what I want my next actual knitting project to be but my scrap yarns are haunting me and I wanna use them up first...#And it is nice to do smaller projects like these from time to time #But also yeah I'm getting tired of trying to figure out What The Fuck To Make with small quantities of yarn

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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i dont get how daigo could be bitchy and moody while wearing a puffer like . my brother in christ do you even know how silly you look rn trying to be emo in a puffer

#snap chats #looked at myself for too long and was about to have my Daily Required Evil Monologue but i just look too goofy with this thing on LMAO #its cold as hell. all the time. if i draw daigo in his puffer at some point this will be why #but yeah bro i cant sulk when i look like the michelin man like cmon #thats how i know daigo aint been around a mirror in Ever......#ough i wanna play gaiden now wait. coliseum calls to me......#i should eat tho UGH i dont know what to eat tho.#my heart always tells me to go with the pork floss onigiri but i already had one today #technically i eat two a day so i colud make another one but it'd feel weird only eating One..#but then i'd have had three rice balls and i dont like the number three... do we see my overly-convoluted dilemma...#ill prob cave and make two anyway. if im so tbh.#Come What May tomorrow my kirby onigiri case is coming in :) oh yeah i bought one of those. after being influenced. by bestie </3 #OK BYE what the fuck am i gonna do oho my god i wanted to draw but now coliseum but now food bu

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chilioilbabygirl · 4 months

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#why am i sick.....#i thought it was just allergies but this is really giving fucking..... cold??#i had a terrible sore throat and now it's a really runny nose and runny eyes #but i was just sick in April 😭i can't be getting sick more than 2wice a year...#my on and off sore throats have scarred me so bad #sigh #i have big plans tomorrow too #i did a lot today too i think #even if it was mostly my tumultuous mind

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orbmanson7 · 9 months

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:(

Very bad grade in therapy today