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baekhvuns · 2 years ago

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THOSE TWT LINKS AREN'T OPENING 😭😭😭

You mean ghatak or whtv the name of the movie was but the first part was superior alr idek why they decided to make a second part. Bruh it was painful to watch i just hope this one is much much muchhh better.

Nahh ur right, i was at first shocked when I saw Vicky x Sara but ..ig she fit the role. I hope her acting has improved. And as of Varun, he is a good actor but sometimes ykkkk...things just don't work. His recent movie bedhiya...i never watched it. I want to but I'm afraid I'll get disappointed 😭

Yess, during soty, i immediately became a sid girl BCZ HE WAS TALL, HE WAS BETTER, HE WAS THAT GUY!! and yet PPL fell for Varun *smh* but I'm glad everyone is realising what they hv to.

What is tht movie poster? Never heard of it but I'm pretty sure it'll be better thn adipurash BCZ WHAT EVEN IS THT MOVIE??? they literally took 6 months off to 'improve' and 'correct' their mistakes WHAT DID THEY DOO?? They made it worse 😭😭. And plus if they don't know how to use VFX in an appropriate amount why do they even bother??? And saif Ali Khan as the Ravan 😭😭 look i hv no complaints abt the actor and actresses chosen BUT THEY RUINED RAMAYANA! growing up, I've watched many animated spiritual movies based on ramayan or any other lore like lord Krishna, Mahabharata but adipurash......uh-uh. first they said it was based on ramayana then they literally changed their words saying it has taken 'inspiration' frm ramayana.

What's disappointing it came from the same director who directed Tanhaji. Can u believe it? AND WHAT EVEN IS KRITI DOING HERE?? 😭😭😭 Did not expect this from her but ig every actor has a bad movie.

But ykw I'll still watch it..obv after it's been released just for laughing out loud don't judge me.

But i rewatched 10 things i hate abt you....and I've fallen in love again with heath ledger 😭😭 THE ACCENT, THE DEEP VOICE AUGHHH and tht damn promposal. It'd forever be on my wishlist bcz....Indian schools don't hv proms :') in short Indian schools don't hv fun things....they r uptight and all abt studying.

Yeah I've heard abt tht movie, but...we gotta wait YK, idek what to expect now!! BUT I'm not raising my standards again. Always expect the unexpected. "Rocky aur Rani ki Prem kahani" .... Kind of like "ajab Prem ki gazab kahani"

😭😭😭😭 i cn never escape tht movie. But what was ur first movie like what would u say was the first movie tht made a huge impact on u? Mine was...ajab Prem ki kahani :') i was obsessed. And three. My father bought like 2-3 dvds just so tht i could watch it on repeat. No wonder I became hopeless romantic in the future 😭 AND I used to say I'm going to marry Ranbir when I grow up LORDDDD my family members still tease me💀💀💀 imagine....a Punjabi family teasin u...it's hell.

And tht is why I like soft boys. Although my parents did tell me the first movie they took me to watch was "malamaal weekly" ..... Rlly? I was an infant!!! But I think my subconscious picked up on the genre...i like comedy ALOT!

NOOOO ill put them under the bar 😭😭

and this

yeah the one! the first part was superior 90’s but the second part…he should stay away from movies and also the politics <3 the acting is overacting so i guess it fits her 😭😭😭 hoping she gets a role like geet from jab we met and hopefully she acts well for it <3

eh that recent movie of his is okay, funny at some aspects but i watched it bc it was in the stree universe but it was decent, like i get the vision, very twilight…but eh it’s alright id watch it again! arijit’s song saved imo 🤚🏻

SID WAS AND IS SUPERIOR!!!! from soty, ek villain, that one movie w pari, kapoor and sons + shershaah i like the way he chooses his projects but that omg movie w ajay devgan was not it 😭😭😭 i hope he goes into some action movies,,, like romcom actions, a mathew mcoughey style,,, like a mr and mrs smith movie w katrina or deepika (honestly want srk to do that movie remake w aishwariya so bad like imagine it being called mr and mrs khan 😭😭😭😭😭 A NEED A DESPERATE NEED !!!!)

that movie poster is the hanuman movie??? it looks nice from the poster, NO BC WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MOVIE???? I FIRST THOUGHT ITS NOT THAT BAD BUT THEN I HEARD THE DIALOGUES ON REELS AND JUST ???? NO MF WAY THEY MADE HIM SAY TERE BAP KA???? EXCUSE ME??? THE DISRESPECT??? i got so pissed just from those lines like wtf u mean saif is ravaan??? honestly speaking saif can be the ravaan IF the vfx and his character was written nicely bc saif can deliver! “inspiration from ramanya” bro this a bhojpuri movie disguised as a bollywood one???

FROM TANHAJI???? damn,,, i didn’t like that movie 😭😭😭😭 so no wonder fbsndbskjclxhk

HEATH !!!! HEATH UR SO RIGHT HES SO 😭😭😭🤚🏻 I WISH TO SEE MORE OF HIS TALENT BUT ITS TOO LATE,,, THAT scene where he plays w the fire in the science room is forever engraved in my head,, don’t uni’s have formals?? then reels be lying to me then 🔫 damn my school didn’t have proms but they did have annual day,, considered it my prom <3

YEAH im not putting my expectations very high,,, their paring seems to lack the chemistry just from that song release for me,,, like no emotion in the eyes that says love me,, no srk eyes 😭😭 and ranveer for don?? 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ ngl he suits villain roles but srk??? how u gonna do don without the don????

the first movie that made an impact on me was jab we met, ive watched that movie over 50 times now, it started my hopeless romanticness,,, something about the simplicity of meeting on a train, two complete opposite people finding themselves entangled w each others life??? yEAAAAAAH

LMFAOOOO SO EVERYONE HAD THE RANBIR PHASE SEE HE IS CHARMING AS FUCK BUT HES A PLAYBOY AND IM NEVER RHWNDBAK him w anushka >> LMFAOO IF UR FUTURE SPOUSE ISNT A RANBIR LOOKALIKE WE DONT WANT IT

omg??? that movie i totally forgot about,, coincidentally my first movie was ranbir’s debut film 😭😭😭 slept thru the entirety <: but ur so right, comedy is >>>>> but also those movies like znmd with that poetry 😩😩

#✉️ : ask #[ rosesapphiremysticalrose ]

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cocoabubbelle · 2 years ago

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Watching “Scooby Doo, Where Are You?” (1969-1970 CBS) + Thoughts

Episode 22: Haunted House Hang Up

A headless man?

Shaggy can play the guitar, and Scooby drums.

Asha Shanks, a slouching big guy with a lantern, giving Scooby and Shaggy war flashbacks with the last big guy who held a lantern on their first meeting.

Headless Specter? Was the Dullahan too hard to pronounce??? (Dullahan = Headless Horseman monster from Irish folklore)

“The non-material embodiment or essence or organism that’s seen as a specter, wraith, or apparition has been scientifically proven to be a sheer myth. In other words, there’s no such thing as a ghost.” “Yeah, but does the ghost know that?” I now know why Velma wasn’t chosen to be part of Scooby Doo and the 13 Ghosts.

Floating candle! Will they actually explain it this time?

Cue Old-painting-of-an-older-person-but-if-you-look-away-for-a-moment-then-it-changes-in-a-creepy-way gag.

Is it just me or has the animation/design for the Scooby gang become significantly more wonky since they’ve entered the mansion?

We watch Headless Ghost using secret passageways to travel in the house. Seems interested in a jewelry box?

Shaggy pranking Scoob so that the poor dog accidentally volunteers to open the jewelry box for everyone. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on him for swiping Shaggy’s food from now on 😅

Bruh. Is it weird that when I saw a man’s head in the opened box, my first thought was “Oh, that is a nicely rendered head. Look at the details in the lines and values 🤩” , and then “Oh. That’s a HEAD?”

False alarm. ‘Tis a wooden dummy’s head.

“Aren’t you curious [about this mystery]?” “NOT ONE BIT.”

A random though popped into my mind. It is NOT CANON, but I wondered momentarily if Fred kept splitting the gang up the way he usually does because he’s always had some kind of crush on Daphne and was hoping to impress her. Occasionally he invited Velma so no one would notice, but all of them know but don’t want to embarrass him by pointing it out?

Velma shoves Shaggy and Scooby ahead of her into a dark room instead of going in first.

“I feel like I’ve been dipped in ink and let loose in a coal mine.”

Ah, the let’s-hold-hands-in-a-dark-room-so-we-don’t-lose-each-other-only-to-discover-we’ve-gained/lost-a-member-in-our-team-when-the-lights-are-on gag

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: Animation is WONKY this episode.

Cue this episode’s chase scene’s theme song.

“Headless” Specter has to bend super down low to look at specific things bc the guy who made his own costume didn’t think to create incognito areas/fabric to see (and yes I’m saying he made his own costume bc I believe Trick or Treat, Scooby Doo to be part of a different canon universe than the series and the older movies, just like how I view the live action films, the live action series, and the other adaptations. I think some fans arguing over which versions of the Scooby Gang’s are the “true”/“actual”/“correct” interpretations of these characters are a tad silly because even the original show had trouble pinpointing their personalities at times. Have fun and be cool.)

I know it’s in the name of good fun and shenanigans, but seeing all of those books being shoved off the library bookshelf by Shelma and Scooby made the book lover in me wince.

Headless Specter loses whatever little dignity he thought he had by jumping on the bed and angrily bouncing and stomping on the “bodies” (actually pillows) of Shaggy, Velma, and Scooby. Wow, dude.

A spinning wheel also serves as a bicycle. Shenanigans.

The well that was shown earlier has a secret passage.

We finally see what Fraphne is up to, and lo and behold, they are actually looking for clues and being useful as opposed to the writers usually having no clue what to do with them when they split the gang up.

Animation Goof: Daphne’s eyebrows disappear until she speaks.

Oooh! A trapdoor.

“Let’s take a look and be careful.” Me: *immediately begins countdown.* “Whoops!!” Only two seconds for Danger-Prone Daphne to slip 😅

I accidentally paused to talk to someone, and I have to restrain myself from laughing at the horrible twisted wince/scowl face Daphne is making as she is talking. Not sure why the animators are doing more in-betweens here between poses when the earlier episodes were just fine without them. Can’t fault them too much for making an attempt though.

Methinks the artists didn’t want Velma getting hit when Fred and Daphne are about to chuck jars at her, Shag, and Scooby out of self-defense, as we see in previous episodes Shaggy usually gets throttled from a misunderstanding.

I vaguely remember a scene where Shaggy and Scooby accidentally chew on non-inflated balloons thinking they were treats when I was younger; didn’t realize it was from this episode.

Animation Goof: Shaggy’s eyebrows are too thick for any man to handle.

Don’t know why later adaptations dumb Freddy down; he’s just as smart as Velma. There’s room for multiple smart people who are knowledgeable in differing areas! This is why I ship Frelma *gets slapped*

Why on earth would you give a Scooby Snack to a Flytrap, Shaggy? That’s just asking for an early version of Little Shop of Horrors.

Where did the Headless Specter come from?

Show is inconsistent with Shaggy and Scooby’s weights.

No chickens were harmed in the making of this episode (I hope 😅)

Huh. The Headless Specter isn’t Asha Shanks. Also, Headless Specter man isn’t the bad guy? He’s just trying to ward off grave-diggers and robbers?

Asha Shanks is the criminal, but he has nowhere near the same level of creativity or drama as the Headless Specter man.

“And I’d have found [the treasure first] if it weren’t for you snoopers!”

Day 22 of no “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

#shenanigans #scooby doo #daphne blake #scooby doo where are you #scooby dooby doo #velma dinkley #fred jones #hanna barbera #shaggy rogers #shaggy norville rogers #frelma #fraphne

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dadswithipads · 2 years ago

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Live reacting to Static Shock episodes

"Ep 1 S3" baby. YOOOOO KNEW THEME. ANIMATION 😝😝💅. MY episode be buffering. Smh. YASSSS GEAR. MY GAY SUPERHERO TEAM. Gay lil opening thnks. Batman.

That Fred from scooby doo lmao ???

I want a scooby doo crossover. Idk why. But like the james gunn characters. They were so unhinged. Her name is allie and she was in an alley. I can hear lil Romeo. Is he not in Dakota right now. Nail my ass. What kinda name is that. BRUH. THATS MY SON. Nice shot! Aww. YASSS DAISY WITH THIS OUTFIT. IT FITS HER SO WELL. Her hair is different too. Im guessing they're sophomores now.

Virgil got an upgrade too. 🎶yeahahahah🎶. LMAO.

Thalia. Oh. I pronounced it as Talia. Feels like a cult place not a "help" place. I love this show. "someone asking a kid to meet him over the Internet is bad" Ayyyy getting Degrassi in here. Is this little romeo? I thought it was. Like the songs. Idk. Its bisexual Bruce. Yes lesbian ivy. AND HER GIDDY GF. This is a youth club. One lesbian and 3 bisexuals. (HQ. BW. VH)

Noooo. My boy. This def ain't lil Romeo.

"Associate" gf.

Did I say laughter I met penicillin.😄✋.

She caught that with her teeth😳. But they couldnt talk bout Richie being gay..

I'm upset that some people are like it's only implied that Richie's gay. Like, when he takes a breath that's a gay breath. Not an implied gay breath. Is gay. He gay.

"Oh, thanks, dawg" I love my son. " you're welcome, dude" AND THEN THE MUSIC WTF😭. it was like a spring.

He is 5'7. Short king. Aww Virgil wanted to hang with his bisexual bestie. Robin. Yoo Bruce knows 2000s slang. He is bisexual so, obviously he knows.

It sounded like "my neck, my back" was playing in the bg. Lmao. I'm kind of sick of the DC Cameo Fest right now. I want to watch static in Dakota. Is this "Squidward nose"? I'm bored. Nothing is happening.

Ew heteronormative. Sounded kinda gay tbh. "It's the least I could do for a girl from my hood". He has style. Yes indeed batman. Lmao. He know now. Ok lmao music

#static shock #virgil hawkins #live reaction #the stories of a raging bisexual

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kateeorg · 5 years ago

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Point-by-Point Scoob Analysis (second viewing, bc I’m bored)

Spoilers below!

Why Venice Beach, I have to wonder? And why this song? I don’t dislike it, but I’m curious about the reasoning

The gyro scene is really fun XD

Shaggy’s intro is perfect - the music, the “Casey’s Creations” and Mystery Machine aesthetics, just beautiful. You can see the little shake in his hand as he switches to the podcast - he’s so alone :(

“I lose a lot of balls” funny AND sad. And Young Sheldon being lonely is on point for him

Gyro meat - convenient! But yeah, I can see how Shaggy’s weird lunch combos would be off-putting to others

Oh, he found him ON Halloween?? That’s so odd. (But on brand)

“Well mostly man. It’s mostly just the suit that’s falcon.”

“Like no way bruh” Really? That... sounds odd coming from Shaggy.

...Since when do young boys care about blood sugar? Also, “We’re okay with that” XD

Baby Fred, Daphne, and Velma are also perfect

...No. No no. RBG is not a Slytherin. But that, braces Velma and Hogwarts references very much modernize the series and put them firmly in modern day (without going too out there).

The kids are such badasses, it’s awesome

The replication of the original credits is *perfect* - they even got the original Space Creep sound

Scooby handles the accounting? Also, how old are they supposed to be? If they’re expected to pay taxes and get called millennials, are they late 20s?

I’m really not convinced by the Simon Cowell bit, I’m sorry. They could have made him a bland British investor, not attached to the name. There really should have been some more time invested in this scene (but I AM glad Mystery Inc never agreed with Simon, or even considered he was right) (Also Simon - haven’t you heard of networking? Making friends to get ahead?)

Scooby bowling is such great physical comedy, and the chase is very Scooby Doo

Hyper-specific police code ftw

Falcon Fury!

You know Scooby and Shaggy are having a bad day when they’re *happy* to be in danger

The falcon entrance is admittedly funny

I really wish if Blue Falcon and Dynomutt had to have such a bug role, there’d been more about how Dynomutt feels about his original owner basically ditching him. It seemed like that was supposed to have more significance, and then it didn’t.

The shake button XD and Dastardly is fantastic from the first

...right, because this script wasn’t also written by middle-aged men.

Also, how’d she know about the blue light?

Velma fanning out is fun

The robots make me uncomfortable, and I’m not sure why.

Muttley <3

I appreciate that Falcon was trying to be resourceful.

“You’re now out of... everything.”

Scooby and Shaggy’s gift is to inspire - they’re the lucky charm

...And this is where I started to dislike Falcon. He’s just... he’s too dumb. The bravado is one thing, but then Fred is a little too similar. I think Falcon is supposed to be a foil for Shaggy, but I don’t know... didn’t quite work for me.

OH! I didn’t get the connection between the Greek restaurant at the beginning and the Cerberus plot until now! Nice.

DeeDee deserves more credit, hands down. Honestly, make her Blue Falcon.

I love all the references in the arcade - Hex Girls, Hong Kong Phooey, LaffALympics

The fun house scene is really cool! And funny, so colorful

My mom really liked this bit with the Ferris Wheel and the bumper cars and the smoke cloud - more traditionally cartoony

And I started to dislike Falcon more here. -__- (Like you acknowledge Shaggy is hurting and then just decide let’s give the dog a super suit instead of focusing on the mission? 90% of what goes wrong in this move is his fault and I don’t like it)

Okay. I get that Shaggy is really insecure. And Scooby isn’t reassuring him at all. But it feels like there’s more going on here, and I wish he’d had the chance to talk about it more than he did to give us more context. (But I still maintain this is less contrived than Shaggy falling for that Mary Jane girl in the live action film, so I’ll let it pass)

I actually really like Daphne’s characterization as the people person (though I feel real bad Grey DeLisle wasn’t given a chance to voice her), and how the gang are quick to realize how much Shaggy and Scooby contribute. They were never down on them, but it’s still important.

Messick Mountain :)

Velma as Dynomutt was great

I do really like the plot and how it ties to friendship. Also, Muttley is perfect, my parents loved him.

Poor man’s Hemsworth

I initially questioned whether Scooby would really be safer off the ship. But of course that’s not the point - this kicks off the conflict. Remember kids: NEVER give someone an ultimatum.

I appreciate that this was the only poop joke in the movie. Unlike the original Scooby Doo movie...

And now Shaggy realizes he was an ass. But seriously - the “Shaggy’s refusal to change is tearing them apart” thing needed a little more finessing. I see where they were going, but didn’t quite make it home.

The Captain Caveman bit was a little... eh? Not sure what I’d put there instead. It does the point of showing Falcon and Scooby they’re not really traditional hero material.

Scooby looks so sad as he gets taken :(

See, this is where I feel like Falcon and Fred were too similar, though it is pretty funny

See... I don’t think this speech was earned. It’s beautiful. If I saw it in isolation it would be great. But something was missing in the buildup. I can’t see how Shaggy made it from “I screwed up” to “Friendship changing is okay.”

This whole Athens bit is so beautiful and cinematic, I hope this gets a chance to be in theaters someday!

Flying mystery machine!

FLUFFY!

Mystery Inc reunion <3 But poor Fred, his van up in flames

(Someone set this to “Your Wagon is On Fire” from Trail to Oregon!)

Dastardly and Muttley is actually pretty sweet, but not a Scooby-Shaggy redux. (My parents love the snicker)

THE ASCOT RETURNS! But this is usually the part where he figures out a trap.

Scooby and Shaggy growing and embracing their roles on the team <3

“I’m so weak” - my parents and I laughed hysterically at this

The Dynomutt-Falcon moment was nice :) (again, not sure it was earned). Also, cool wings are cool.

This really is a Scooby Doo Avengers

Shaggy becomes important in the worst possible way :(

“Back when we were kids, you saved me. Now it’s my turn.” Damn with the feeeeels

Scoooby :(

“But why would Alexander make a gate that would separate him from his best friend forever?” Martyrdom is not the only way, y’all

Aw, Dynomutt is trying

Had to throw in an unmasking

I guess they got backing after all!

(Wait... was Dick Dastardly the Simon Cowell at the beginning??? That would make so much sense, actually!! Is this confirmed?! )

Don’t know how I feel about the new Mystery Machine, but Fred is happy :)

DeeDee deserves a raise

Falcon Force! Falcon realizes he needs friends too. But Dastardly is at large...

Okay, second watch was less off-putting. I do like it! It’s colorful and sticks to the cartoon, and there’s clearly so much love here, for Scooby and all of Hanna Barbara. Admittedly, this isn’t really a mystery - it’s a superhero origin story, which admittedly the trailers should have prepared me better for. But we’ve seen Scooby mysteries on the big and small screen, so I see why they had to change it up to justify such a blockbuster animation project. (Not unlike Recess: School’s Out going from middle school slice of life to save-the-world adventure.) And we do get mystery-solving shenanigans in the beginning.

But as a result, things do feel a tad bit dumbed down, particularly with Blue Falcon, Fred, and Shaggy’s development. I don’t love that aspect, but I can see why that compromise had to be made.

So all in all, I think it’s a solid film! It’s more Trolls than Pixar, but honestly? Not sure I’d have Scooby Doo any other way.

#scooby doo #scoob movie #scoob 2020

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thejeksburyguy · 5 years ago

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AGW memes - based mostly on TikToks, ngl (SPOILERS)

Cthulu: Look, makeup your gods all you want.

Cthulu: That's not gonna save you when I come to eat your ass~ *sips water*

Jekyll: Hey, mum, you remember how you told me you brought me into this world and you can take me out of it?

Jekyll, face going deadpan: Yeah, I'm ready to go—

Moses: Is anyone there..?

Griffin: *Scooby Doo laugh*

Moses, running: Oh, fuCK THAT—

Lord Henry: *leaves the front door open*

Dorian: OoO

Dorian, running outside: Oh my Jesus, oh my God, wait who even is Jesus- holy shit, wtf is this green stuff? *plucks grass* I'm taking some, I'm taking some *sees a coach* aH BIG METAL THING DRIVING, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS—

Dorian: *excited running with a huge smile, freezeframes*

Dorian voiceover: My name is Dorian Grey, I'm a twink. Five seconds after this shot I got hit by a carriage. That means I lasted a total of thirty-six seconds in the real world!

Griffin: If God loves me then why can't I smoke crack without burning my lips??

Faust: GRIFFIN!!

Moses: Bruh—

Griffin: Paul, when is dinner ready?

Victor: Yeah, Paul, when is dinner ready?

Griffin: Paul, we're hungry!

Victor: Yeah, Paul, we're hungry!

Moreau, slowly turning to face them: ....reeeEEEE—

Faust: You either buckle down and do your work or you'll end up at McDonalds.

Victor: We goin' to McDonalds if I don't do my work?

Faust: No—

Mina: What's my taste in men? Fuckin' dumb ones. A man who thinks he's smart because he read Catcher in the Rye by himself and has a superiority complex is boring.

Mina: Jonathan Harker once asked me which side the kidney was on and ever since I have dreamt of kissing him—

Dorain + Jekyll, dancing in the mirror: I hate. My body. I hate. My body.

Victor: Let me get one thing straight-

Victor: I am a John Mulaney stan FIRST,

Victor:

Victor: and a human being second.

Griffin: All these bitches talking about Disney plus?? Yeah, fuck that, I'll enjoy my free Moana with the porn ads on the side, thank you, I LIKE seeing them—

Vampire Lady #1, to Mina: I can take your man if I want to~

Vampire Lady #2: I can take your man if I want to~

Hyde, joining in for literal no fucking reason: I CAN TAKE YA MAN IF I WANT TO, BUT LUCCKY FOR YOU I DON'T WANT TO—

Helsing: *vampire hunting Dracula*

Dracula: *bites him and turns him into a vampire*

Helsing, now trapped in an immortal life and forced to become the thing he hates most in the world: Wow, didn't know it did that.

Jekyll, trying to kill Hyde: The power of Christ compels you!

Hyde: Does it, J?

Jekyll: The power of Christ COMPELS YOU!

Hyde: Is the power of Christ compelling me? Is that what's happening?

Jekyll, having a mental breakdown: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!

Hyde: Guess what? It's not that compelling (:

Jekyll, first creating Hyde: You will remove all sin from me. That is why you are alive. That is your purpose...

Hyde, immediately dressing in drag and hitting up every brothel and pub in a five mile radius mere minutes after being alive: My purpose is to get money and suck dick (:

#agw #agw spoilers #agw shitpost #im sorry for making this lol #Mod Jeks

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thewyloren · 6 years ago

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Day One - Scream *SPOILERS ABOUND - YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!*

Scream (1996 - Rated R) Directed by Wes Craven. Starring Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, Courteney Cox, and Drew Barrymore.

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

What was once an innocent question is now an iconic line from 1996′s slasher classic, Scream. While director Wes Craven is known best for A Nightmare on Elm Street where he was also a writer, Craven did not pen Scream. The story comes from the mind of Kevin Williamson who went on to work on I Know What You Did Last Summer, and The Faculty; also horror films involving teens, so let’s say he’d found his niche. It’s not too surprising to learn Williamson also created the hit teen series Dawson’s Creek.

If you’ve never seen Scream before, the killer is disguised in a halloween costume which is coined later as “Ghost Face Killer.” He terrorizes high schoolers of Woodsboro, mainly Sidney Prescott, daughter of a woman brutally murdered a year earlier. But her killer was put behind bars, so it couldn’t possibly be the same guy. Right?

Scream grabs you within the first five minutes. Poor innocent Casey Becker, played by Drew Barrymore, is home alone, about to start a movie and chill, when a phone call disguised as a wrong number turns into a game of cat and mouse, leaving her gutted, hanging from a tree for her parents to find. One must always remember the killer from Friday the 13th is, in fact, not Jason Voorhees, but his mother. Better luck next time, Casey.

Killed within ten minutes of the movie, one has to wonder why on earth a star like Barrymore would agree to play that part. According to Barrymore herself, she wanted that role. While she was sought out to play the lead role of Sidney Prescott, once reading the script, she asked for the role of Casey. Writer Williamson originally wanted actress Alicia Silverstone (Clueless) for the role of Casey. As if! Barrymore nailed it, solidifying herself as an official Scream Queen with her memorable and iconic scene.

While audiences are recovering from Casey’s shocking death, we’re introduced to the main protagonist, Sidney Prescott, played by fresh faced Neve Cambell, star of The Craft and drama series Party of Five. Portrayed immediately as young and naive, we see her being pressured to be more sexual by her boyfriend Billy Loomis, played by cutie Skeet Ulrich, donning his best Johnny Depp look. Depp stars in Nightmare on Elm Street, so maybe Craven figured that “look” was part of some kind of horror film formula for success. Who knows?

We learn Sidney and Billy have been dating for two years. My first thought? Two years and this guy is still whining about her being a virgin? Dumpppp himmmmm. But apparently it wasn’t always like this. The beginning of their relationship started out hot and heavy (but which relationship doesn’t, amirite?) then somewhere it falters... Sidney grows a bit cold as far as physical touch goes. Ah hah. That would be when her mom was brutally raped and murdered.

The quaint (but rather rich... I mean, everyone’s living in these huge fancy farmhouses and none of these kids seem to have jobs, other than Randy, whom I’ll get back to soon) town of Woodsboro is shooketh. They haven’t seen crime like this since Sid’s mom.

With Sid’s dad out of town for work, Sid waits around for her best friend Tatum (Rose McGowen) to pick her up for a sleepover. Sid gets a prank call and assumes its their friend Randy. Told you I’d come back to him. Randy works at a video store and makes many references to scary movies. In fact, the movie itself is very meta. Lots of name dropping and parallels to other horror classics. “Randy” gets Sid to chat about scary movies where Sid confesses she hates them because they’re all the same. “The big breasted actress that can’t act always runs upstairs instead of outside; it’s insulting” (I’m paraphrasing) which is comical because once she learns the voice on the phone is not Randy, and the person calling is actually in the house and attacks her, she can’t get out the front door, forcing her to run upstairs.

Hiding herself in her bedroom, Billy pops into the window and a cell phone falls out of his pocket. Dun dun dun! All signs point to Billy! There’s no way it can’t not be Billy! But we are so conditioned by Scooby Doo as kids. It’s never who we think it is. There’s always a red herring. There’s always a twist. So while we believe they want us to think it’s Billy, we’re smarter than that. We know it can’t really be him. Because where’s the fun in that? Giving away the killer so soon? Nah bruh. We’ll wait for the big epic “ah HA, I knew it wasn’t Billy” moment.

After a pit stop at the police station where both Sid and Billy are questioned, Sid stays over at Tatum’s house where the killer phones yet again, accusing Sid of “fingering the wrong guy again.” Whoa, whaaat? The wrong guy? AGAIN?

It’s not long after we learn that Sidney testified against her mother’s killer, Cotton Weary, putting him away for good. Tabloid journalist (think today’s TMZ) Gale Weathers played by Courteney Cox in a horrid neon green dress suit believes in Cotton’s innocence. She made bank writing a book about the tragic event surrounding Sid’s mom and Sid ain’t too happy about it.

Running into Billy at school, Sid and Billy chit chat about how the anniversary of the death of her mother is coming up and Billy thinks Sid should just “get over it” already. Because he got over his father leaving a year ago. Because that’s totally the same thing.

Boyfriend of the year right there. What a sociopath. Here’s where we get back on board thinking “Yeah maybe it’s Billy... who else could it be?”

The town of Woodsboro is put on a curfew until the police can get to the bottom of things. But kids will be kids and kids will have parties when parents are away and why are the parents always away? Randy and Stu (Stu would be Tatum’s goofy boyfriend played by over-the-top Matthew Lillard, and Stu just happens to be Billy’s ride or die) chat about Billy. Randy thinks Billy’s the killer. Stu laughs, but defends his buddy. The signs are starting to point more towards Sid’s dad. The police haven’t been able to get ahold of him. And when they checked the phone records for the calls made to Sid, they weren’t coming from Billy’s phone, but rather Sid’s dad’s phone. Uh oh. Could it be with the anniversary of mom’s death, dad is finally losing it?

At Stu’s house, teens are drinking beer and watching scary movies, provided by Randy. The killer’s there and Tatum meets her end, getting stuck in a doggy door and her neck snapping. Billy shows up to the house after this happens, again, making us believe he’s the killer. No one cares about Tatum’s whereabouts I guess, and Sidney slips away with Billy, upstairs. Two high schoolers headed upstairs into a bedroom, what could possibly happen next? Downstairs, Randy lists off rules for surviving a horror film.

Number one, never have sex. Number two, never drink or do drugs. Number three, never say “I’ll be right back.”

Remember those rules and you too will be around for the sequel.

This film is full of clever bits. While everyone is watching Halloween, Randy announces “obligatory tit shot” and just as the actress in Halloween bares her breasts, the shot then turns to Sidney taking off her bra but she gets blocked from view by Billy. Hah!

Yada yada yada, Sid and Billy break rule number one and Billy is next to be killed. This is when we believe we were right all along. It wasn’t Billy after all. The tricky movie makers tricked us but we secretly knew it wasn’t really him. Sid escapes out the window after being chased around a bit. The killer goes downstairs where Randy is now all alone on the couch watching Halloween. Randy is played by Jamie Kennedy and if you remember, Jamie Lee Curtis is the lead in Halloween. So Randy’s on the couch shouting “Jamie look behind you” as the killer sneaks up behind him. Thankfully, Randy is saved by Sidney screaming for help outside and the killer leaves him, for now.

More death happens, yada yada, it gets bloody. Sid ends up back in the house and Randy and Stu fight over who the killer is. Stu blames Randy and Randy blames Stu. We’ve seen Randy and the killer in the same room, but we’ve never seen Stu and the killer in the same room.... hmm. Something to think about. But not something Sid has time for, so she closes the door on both of them. Billy comes stumbling down from upstairs, covered in blood. Now that Sid is positive Billy isn’t the killer, she’s comfortable with him taking the gun from her, to be the protector now, even if he is half dead.

Billy lets Randy in and ends up shooting him. Whaaat? Sidney tries to escape, confused as hell, obviously, and bumps into Stu who came in through the kitchen. Stu pulls out a voice changer and speaks exactly like the killer and everyone is shocked to discover it was THE TWO OF THEM THIS WHOLE TIME! They admit to framing Cotton, who’d been having an affair with Sid’s mom. Apparently Sid’s mom had multiple affairs and was the reason Billy’s dad left. Dun dun dun.

Stu pulls Sid’s dad out of another room, bound and gagged. He and Billy plan to stab each other, kill Sid, then shoot Sid’s dad, making it look like Sid’s dad went on a killing spree, and then offed himself. Billy and Stu would be the only survivors. How convenient!

But things don’t work out how they hoped. Billy ends up getting shot. Then Randy, who isn’t dead, says “This is when the killer comes back for one final scare” and Billy comes back for one final scare before Sidney puts a bullet in his head.

The way the movie is shot, the clever way it pays homage to other horror classics, makes it so lovable. It’s really revived the horror genre, or at least the slasher portion. Many sequels have since been filmed, as well as a television series, and comical spoofs. It’s definitely a film that I would call a masterpiece of story telling and directing. Definitely add this one to your Halloween and Chill list for October. It’s available to rent on Amazon. Also check with your cable provider, as it was free on demand for me.

RATING: 🎃🎃🎃🎃 4 out of 5 pumpkins

#halloweenandchill #halloween #movies #scarymovies #october #scream #screammovie #sidney prescott #ghostface #whatsyourfavoritescarymovie #wyloren

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the-miman · 6 years ago

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Rules: Tag 10 followers you want to know better.

Okay so @musclesandhammering tagged me. What’s up? Apparently we’ve been following each other ?? That’s hella cool! I remember following you because I saw your profile pic of Cas and THEN I realized you liked Loki! So like instant follow.

Name: Viviann. But like no one irl calls me that anymore. Just Miman (pronounced mee-man not my-man)

STAR SIGN: Sagittarius. U know that horse man. Pretty chill I guess.

Height: I’m like 5’1” ??? Idk

WHAT’S YOUR MIDDLE NAME: okay listen. I know everyone is going to think the same thing. But let me say no. I was not named after the character in scooby doo. My parents are Mexican af they don’t know what scooby doo is. Okay. It’s Dafne.

PUT YOUR ITUNES ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 4 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?

1.) “Stone Mason” from the God of War soundtrack. (Don’t judge me I have the whole album)

2.) “As The World Falls Down” from the movie Labyrinth sung by David Bowie.

3.) “Libertango” by Astor Piazzolla

4.)”Nature Boy” cover by Aurora

GRAB THE BOOK NEAREST YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17?

“Lots!” Bilbo found himself answering, to his own surprise; and he found himself scuttling off, too, to the cellar to fill a pint beer-mug, and then to a pantry to fetch two beautiful round seed-cakes which he had baked that afternoon for his after-supper morsel.”

Why does Tolkien use sooooo many commas ???

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?

For me ??? Lmao no uh but a friend of mine wrote a poem for my other blog??? Does that count??

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR?

Uuuh does air violin count??? Because I’ve done that last week.

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?

Oooooooh this is a dangerous question to ask me. I have like a whole list. First of all anyone in the marvel cinematic universe can fuck me up lmao. But like my top fave is Timothy Omundson (please don’t judge me I know his wayyyyyyy older than me)

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE + SOUND YOU LOVE?

This is an interesting one. I have the condition called Chromesthesia which is just a fancy word to describe that my brain translates sounds into colors. So it’s not that I hate the sound but more that I hate the color it makes. Anything that makes a lime green color is a no go for me. Like a door slamming, a plate breaking, or a car horn. And anything that makes an indigo color is very nice like a flute playing, anything played on the D string of a violin, or the call of a quail. Lmao sorry if this seems random.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

Uh hell yeah, and it’s annoying as fuck.

HOW ABOUT ALIENS?

Bruh at this point I NEED aliens to exist. If someone could just like abduct me that would be so great.

DO YOU DRIVE? No...I’ve never needed to.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?:The Hobbit lol it’s a cute short story

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? No it gives me a headache.

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? “El Laberinto del Fauno”

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?Umm marvel?? Loki??? Drawing.

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG? God no. I’m far too lazy to hold on to grudges lmao. I don’t even like to be angry. Too much work to have those emotions.

IN A RELATIONSHIP? PSSSSHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO! I can’t emotionally invest in myself let alone someone else.

Tagging: @somestorywriter , @chunruu , @sunfloweraru , @lovelyeeveelution , @ruvikkin , @huiweiwen , @moosemika , @friskybee , @pure-sea-salt , @ask-hero-china

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lattetimes · 7 years ago

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So How About Them New Episodes, Ammirite Ladies??

here’s what i thought of the new episodes via live reactions as i watching them!

overall, it was kinda underwhelming but there were parts that i really did like! and if you liked these episodes, that’s awesome!

MAYOR DEWEY WINS

was this title a reference to the movie/book John Dies at the End, cause if so then i’m shocked i caught that

apparently it is, would you look at that. btw i kinda liked the movie.

damn, Sadie took this hard. and Steven never told Lars’ parents. so i guess Sadie has to do that herself.

why tf does Steven care if Dewey wins?!

OH, IT’S BECAUSE HE DON’T WANT SHIT TO CHANGE AND HE THINKS HAVING A NEW MAYOR WOULD BE BAD WTF DEWEY DOES NOTHING

ok wow, there’s only 24 people in Beach City and he never noticed that Lars was gone!?

“is that why the donut shop was closed?”

“we’ll hire a new donut boy!” DEWEY. DUDE. ARE YOU FOR REAL?!

“high school mayor” lmao

how did he run unopposed for 10 years!?

LARS’ MOM KEEPS A SHITTON OF TOMATOES IN HER PURSE SHE READY TO THROW DOWN ALL THE TIME

i don’t like that Steven is so adamant on Dewey winning.

jesus, Steven, let Nanefua win. she’s obviously the better person for the job

“i’m done pointing my finger at you, and now i direct all my fingers on both my hands to the citizens” top 10 anime deaths

NANEFUA WINS, OH MY GOD YES

STEVEN, DUDE, REALLY?! LEAVE CONNIE ALONE!

“i don’t know what you’re talking about, but i need to get a new job” 2018 mood tbh

episode rating: 2 tomatoes out of 5. i can’t stand Steven in this episode at all. but hey, NANEFUA WON!!!!!!

RAISING THE BARN

....was Lapis’ main concern that Steven dropped his phone on Homeworld? not the fact that he was... idk... ON HOMEWORLD?!

ok Lapis is ready to bail immediately and tbh i dont blame her

did she just uproot the entire bard wtf?!

BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!

episode rating: 1.5 barns out of 5. BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!

GEMCATION

^ mfw Amethyst basically spat an egg out her mouth (it was kinda gross)

well. Greg got some kinda house.... still don’t get why the crew is so against having Greg get a house

also, where’s Peridot?

“remove all shoes before entering” Pearl fucking THROWS A RANDOM ASS PAIR OF SHOES

OKAY PEARL SCREAMING “PARTY GUY, NO!” WAS ACTUALLY KINDA FUNNY

S H O W M E P A R T Y G U Y Y O U C O W A R D S

“Steven, you should join me. become a raisin” ok Garnet

did. did Steven completely cut Garnet off as she was talking about Pink Diamond and the Gem War with the whole, “yeah, yeah, i get it, Mom. i already heard this story” kinda thing? B R U H that ain’t okay

AND GARNET JUST SHUTS UP AND WAS LIKE “good, you understand”

PEARL WAS GONNA STRAIGHT UP ADMIT TO SOME HUGE THING AFTER HER “THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN” LINE AND HE CUTS HER OFF WITH “CONNIE HATES ME”

WHY COULDN’T STEVEN AT LEAST TELL THESE FOUR THAT HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT CONNIE HATING HIM?!

I’M KINDA GETTING SICK OF SEEING STEVEN MOPE LIKE THIS FOR 3 EPISODES STRAIGHT AND I HOPE HE DOESN’T KEEP THIS UP FOR THE NEXT 2

OH NO, PLEASE DISREGARD ALL OF THE MESSED UP THINGS YOU SAW ON HOMEWORLD CAUSE CONNIE IS (rightfully) UPSET WITH YOU. LARS D I E D.

GUITAR DAD SAVES THE DAY

i love Greg Universe

how would you not notice if you aren’t getting any service on your phone? your phone tells you when you’re getting service or not

bruh you almost made your dad drive off a cliff for you to get phone service

Greg Universe is a ride or die kinda guy

this ending shot is cute, i’ll give you that.

episode rating: 2 party guys out of 5. Party Guy should’ve bitten Steven’s phone and his shit attitude. also PEARL WTF ARE YOU TELL US ALREADY

BACK TO THE KINDERGARTEN

Connie i miss you

“of the three things i have to do in the sink now, this is the one i least mind you seeing” B R U H

Peridot listens to country music, this is disgusting

HOLY SHIT AMETHYST IS TOSSIN’ PERIDOT AROUND LIKE SHE WEIGHS NOTHING AND I’M CRACKING UP

“can i bring my music?” “NO.” damn Amethyst you already threw Peri around like she ain’t nothin’, let her bring her music if it’ll help her

aaaay, they’re in the train again!

dang, Peri really loved the barn.

i kinda like that Amethyst is going around trying to figure out which member of the Famethyst came out of which part of the Kindergarten. kinda cute.

so everything is seriously determined by the nutrition, right down to the style of a Gem’s hair? ...huh. iron deposits determine hair styles.

damn, Peri went with a sucker punch to the gut with her little speech about how Kindergartens kill off life and are just “lifeless husks” once all the Gems are done being formed. and Amethyst feels awful about it, dang.

ok. there’s a flower growin’ in the Kindergarten, and that should technically be impossible due to all of the nutrients in this one area being used up. this could be interesting.

ok, so now the trio is gonna farm & see what happens. ok, ok, i can roll with this i guess.

FARMING MONTAGE

look at them flowers

they proud

don’t make Peri live here

why the flamingo thingy taller than both of them

gods i didn’t need to see Steven happily showering

they’re talking about how the flowers are probs gonna look beautiful i bet they all died, they’re too positive about this. $5 them flowers are dead.

them flowers are dead,

...now they’re arguing, cause Peri blew up on them. alright. this ain’t good.

aaaaaaaaaaaand Peri crushed the original flower that grew here. both Steven & Amethyst made pained whimpers. ok. this ain’t good.

oh it’s a Gem creature- haven’t seen one of those in a while!

IT ATE PERIDOT HOLY FUCK

SMOKEY QUARTZ IS BACK

ngl i like Smokey’s theme music

btw there’s no dialogue from Smokey, just a quick 2 second thing

Peri doesn’t reform with a star on her

ok, that was kinda cute. and having a technician that also likes gardening is cute too

episode rating: 3.5 dead sunflowers outta 5. it was an okay episode & i did like it.

SADIE KILLER

heh, i get it. cause lady killer.

oh god, that looks bad

WHY IS THAT MOP SO BIG

instead of reading off a long-ass list to the overly worked employee, just hand Sadie the list so she won’t fuck up?

“and a coffee. hold the coffee.” same tbh

oh. he’s in a band with the Cool Kids. WE GET TO SEE THE COOL KIDS!

“...i hope he [Lars] is safe and all, but working all these shifts by myself has been a huge drag” GIRL, LARS DIED IN SPACE AND IS STILL THERE

Steven stealing all the napkins is something i’d do tbh

man, i love the Cool Kids

is my girl Jenny rockin’ the bass? aaaaaaaaaaay!

Sour Cream, what the HECK IS RAP-A-BILLY?

“Doo-doo. Butt. The government corrupts” Buck is the voice of this generation

welcome to EB Games

they... they admitted to following her home from work....

“doo-doo. i think i broke your bed” Buck wtf

also, i guess them watching all of Sadie’s horror movies gave them inspiration to do that weird donut-brain-eating song. weird.

“we are the working dead, and we lurch for minimum wage” same Sadie

......ok, she’s freaking everyone out. and they look uncomfortable. Sadie, seriously stop. they’re concerned.

...she. put lipstick on her eyes.

see, if she wasn’t freakin’ everyone out with this, i’d say this song is a bop.

ok they’re fine now & thought it was lit ok cool cool cool. i ain’t a big fan of the lyrics tbh, but i do like the song.

“aww, doo-doo”

ok so Steven’s askin’ for advice on how to write horror-themed songs from Sadie. how about LARS DIED ON HOMEWORLD

SADIE’S ADVICE IS:

LOSE YOUR LIFE TO A BORING JOB

LOSE THE ONE PERSON YOU WERE CLOSE TO

LOSE YOUR MIND WORKIN A TON OF SHIFTS

GIRL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Steven puttin’ Sadie on blast, good lord he just sang an accidental roast tryin’ to sing shit like she does

HE STOLE ALL THE NAPKINS AGAIN

“you can’t help being cute no more than i can help being cool” Buck, you’re a blessing

“yoooooo, what if this is all a dream?” Buck, wtf?

oh. Sadie’s goin’ with them. okay.

OH. SHE QUIT HER JOB. UM. OKAY?

episode rating: 3 funky riffs out of 5. Buck Dewey is great.

KEVIN PARTY

I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THIS EPISODE, BUT IMMA DO IT ANYWAY

DIDN’T EVEN START THE EPISODE AND I STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

let’s just get this over with...

why’d Steven wait this long to track down Lion?!

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, here he is......

gods, i still hate him

stop being gross to kids, leave Steven and Connie alone ya freak

at least he knows they use they/them pronouns.

how did he find out where Connie is? doesn’t she live far away from Beach City? did he track down these two kids just to “invite” Stevonnie?!

“no one turns down an invitation to a Kevin party” i sure as fuck would

lmao Kevin has an old phone

“your name’s Steven? weird, i thought your name was Clarence” OI, DON’T INSULT CLARENCE LIKE THAT

rude, Steven brought snacks and ya just toss ‘em into the void?

ok. he’s creepily obsessed with Stevonnie cause apparently they make parties and shit like that hella fun. um. stop? being obsessed with kids??

WTF WHY IS LION AT THE PARTY

Connie actually showed up. and had Lion the entire time. that’s. super fucked up. Lion is the ONLY way to get to Lars directly!

and also, there’s TWO KIDS AT A PARTY WITH OLDER PEOPLE?! NO ONE BUT DERRICK QUESTIONS THIS?

Kevin’s gonna try to get them to talk to each other... so they can form Stevonnie... so his party won’t suck...

also, he keeps calling them 7-year-olds........ siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, ok Kevin.

KEVIN YOU IDIOT LET THEM TALK TO EACH OTHER SO HE CAN SAY SORRY DON’T GIVE HIM YOUR “COOL GUY” BULLSHIT

“i need those old people to whisper my name when they die” tbh goals

“who’s Sabina?” Kevin got all red in the face and almost lost his cool

so Kevin’s gonna try to make Steven look like he’s moved on from Connie or some shit. this won’t end well.

NO, NOT DERRICK’S JACKET

now we get a montage of 2 kids being uncomfortable surrounded by older people at a party they should’t be at, ok.

at least Connie looks cute. and she got a haircut! so cute!

NOT CUTE NOT CUTE NOT CUTE

GOD, I HATE KEVIN

Steven, what are you doing?

STEVEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ok, quick recap cause i didn’t mention this: Kevin thought Steven & Connie were dating, so, Connie only went to the party to see if Steven’s okay and if they could talk. Steven decided to follow Kevin’s advice for some reason, and Connie thinks Steve’s new BFF is Kevin, and Kevin has no concept of what friends are.

so. Connie didn’t text Steven cause she preferred talking face to face about this, and that texting him wasn’t good enough to work out these issues. very fair point. still don’t get why you legit stole Lion from him, but the not texting back thing makes complete sense.

ok, she rode Lion to his house while Steven, Greg & the Gems were away (the episode Gemcation). and that’s when she bumped into Kevin and got the invite. ok. now Kevin is slightly less creepy, but still disgusting nonetheless.

oh, yay! they’re talking it out! and Steven isn’t disregarding Connie’s anger!

yay! they’re friends again!

don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie.

LMAO GET FUCKED, KEVIN, THEY AIN’T FORMIN’ STEVONNIE

episode rating: 1 Lion out of 5. least fave episode, tbh. but hey, we got Connie back!

#su spoilers #su leaks #su criticism #su critical #spilled latte

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lordmeowdemort · 7 years ago

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Alphabet game

i was tagged by my brother, my teacher, my mentor, my guide, my soulmate, my sun and stars, my oxygen, my rock, my destiny, my beginning and my end, @the-quasar-hero

a: age- 22 b: birthplace- Chur, Switzerland c: current time- 12:48 pm d: drink you had last- lukewarm water e: easiest person to talk to- all people i have met online bc ppl irl dont get memes f: favorite song- honest by the neighbourhood g: grossest memory- in portugal we had pigs and i used to watch my family slaughter them....the smell...i can still...smell....everything... h: hogwarts house- gryffindor or ravenclaw idk pottermore cant decide i: in love?- bruh i thought so but motherfucker wont text me so what do we do now, nil? j: jealous of people- oh yes, but its always of people i like for some reason k: killed someone- boi im about to get on the train and kill that asshole that wont text me NIL l: love at first sight or should I walk by again?- nope. no such thing for me m: middle name- dont have one, nothing goes well with tamara n: number of siblings- one little sister o: one wish- MOTEHRFUCKER TEXT ME p: person you called last- momma q: question you are always asked- so how can you be portuguese and at the same time swiss? or: so so you feel more swiss or portuguese? like???what are you? r: reason to smile- ice cream god i love candy and all sorts of sweets and gosh golly hot damn i love food its just ahhhh lemme eat yes t: time you woke up- 9 am to do my laundry bc im an adult woman now i guess u: underwear color- blacc chyna v: vacation destination- us of a so i can visit my best friend sky i love him hes a great man and i think that he would be nicer to me if i personally kicked his disrespectful stars and stripes wearing hamburger eating gun loving yanke doodle doo ass w: worst habit- idk why but i bite my fingers a lot...like...not the nails...my ...fingers,... x: x-rays- boi i had braces...i did looots of those....or maybe just two... y: your favorite food- B orger. z: zodiac sign- aries

i tag @platypusplayhere @remberthisqueen @darkeling @jefflamangosta @unsymmetricallycreative

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thepetepetersonexperience-blog · 8 years ago

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sly cooper 100

SLY 100a/n: this is for sly

I andy and this you don't understand me

this is my first story I'm posting on tumblr sly cooper 100 SLY 100

a/n: this is for sly 100 and it is my 100 story. this is beautiful and i'm crying becuz i nevah thuggt (which is like thought but thuggin) I'd get to so menny fucking stories. I love you wall but you guys should seriuousyl fucking review my stories moreyeah. FUCK YOU Sly cooper in 100.

"SLY COOPER 100″

"hey sly" "yeah bently" "why did you just say your name and 100 like that like you did that just you did there." "fuck if I know, that's some gay ass shit." "fuck." bently said. sly and bently were playing sly cooper thieves in time for the nintendo 65. it sucked. "nintendo 66 is bettar graphics sly. 100 times better" murry said. "fuck you murry let me play this game of myself bently made for me for our 100 anniversity of when we met each other and "man remembler the hampy camper?" murry screamed as he pooped himself and jizzed because that was funny. 100 times funnier that cod haters. "man fuck you murry. let's look at a clip." sly said like in family guy when they talk about the clips that happen in the story story. "flacsh back." bently and sly said. "this is how we met at the hampy fucking capper." the bently said. "biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times. it was the hastpy sstamper. sly was crying like a homo cuz his his parentos were dead like mentos (a/n only real men don't cry never ever fucking ever okay? FUCKERS) "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK my parents are dead." sly siad. "join the fucking club." the main person, a bald fat dude that was like a rhino maybe or some other shit running the place said. he punched sly in the face. "fuck you shitty fuck fuck." sly said, scratching at his balls. "OOOH FUCK SHIT KID THAT HURT." the bald dude got really happy "your fuckign legit. nobody ever fucked wiht me like dat befo." he was black too. "my name patrick." "hi patrick." sly said 100 times. "hi there little boy. what your name?" "fuck you old man I'm leaving this shitty gay place already. i got a fucking cane and shit. FUCK YOU." "hey." "what?" "one fucking rule here shit." patrick said, punching yls in the ribs so they hurted and felt like broken. "fucking don't fuck with me fucker." he said and spat on sly, and rubbed his blood filled wounds on the dirt which hurt him quite a lot really.; ) sly cried and cried and cried until the night kame 100 minutes later. he missed his parents. "fuck this shitty shit fuckery fuckers." sly yelled at the 100 fire ants that crawled awl over him and burned him. then a bee stung him. "AHH I'M ALERGIC TO BEEEEEEEEEESSSS." sly said. 100 bees attacked him. "you guys." sly said as the bees stung him. "100 BEES" sly said. "BZZZ" the 100 bees said. sly got all puffy and could not breathe anymore! he was really scared and wet himself. "i'm really scared." "hey." "yeah?" sly said. "let me fucking help your gay ass." bently said, shooting sly with a needle. the shit went away and all the bees everywhere died. "fuck what was that shit?" sly said. "I feel all bettar." "fuck if I know. FUCK." bently said. "fuck's wrong with you, got fucking tourrets or some shit hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. "sly said he 100 times. (a/n; like the tourreets guy his vieeos are funny haha he must have like one hunnah videos or some shits) "dane cook is awesome.' bently said. "yeah he is let's whatch dan cock special on telijizzon." sly said much coolerly than he would have if he said television 100 times. they went into the hampy camp and watched the dane cook special 100 times. "hey are your parents dead too?" sly asked. "yeah they got killed in the fucking war." bently said crying. "miss them a fuck lot, shit head." "my parents got killed by a gay ouwl." "fuck." "I know right?" "do you wanna watch this dan cola special again?" "we already watched it like a 100 times so I don't think we should watch it again." "why" "I mean we alraddy watched it a lot." "100 times." "yeah." "okay" "let's go to bed." they went to bed. tehre was a fat fuck on the bed and it wasn't patrick. "this is murry he's retarded." bendly said as he pucked murry all over. "WAHHH WHY?" muruu said. "BLEHHH." sly said. "ahhh!" mrury said. he was really scurred. "HEY YOU FUCKERS OH MY GOOD FUCKING GOLLY WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING UP THIS FUKCING LATE AHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?" patrick said as he knocked the door over. "SHIT HOLY SHIT GO TO BED GO TO FUCKIGN BED AHHH WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK!" patricks slaped all of them with a wicker metal pole. he pierced their ears and tied them together, and drugged them into his secret office. he opened the fucking locked safe and the floor opened and there were many gaters in there. and water I think. it was dark so they could see it not very well. "enjoy your FUCKING knight as you sleep with these dangerous critters." patrick said, drulpding them like dumplings into a very bad and dangerous place that was scary and scared them a lot. there were 100 baby alligators and 100 waters. "wha wha wha wha wha what are we gonna do do do?" bently sud. "i don't not not fucking know ok bently? i just don't now ok?" sly said. he was scarred. "harg." murry said. A/N: FOOFIL GWAP!!!! "grate idea murry!" bently said. sly bit the ropesz that tyed him and betnly and sly and murry together and they actually tasted good! THey tasted like beef jerkie. he through murry at the alligarytos and they started to bite murry. a lot. like if you were there you'd see al ot of murrys blood because they were biting the shitting fuck out of him! one even bit him on the balls but that made sly and bently laugh a lot. all in awl, they bit him 100 times. "sly! i do think thoses gater bited murry 100 fucking times!" bently said. "hahaha murry's a fag. i know that now." sly said. murry cried but sly and bentley laughed at him. they went back to theyre room to watch the dane coock special 100 more times. it was funny. very funny actually. "this dane cook special is funny actually." bentley said. "real talk bruh" sly said. "hey sly?" bentley said. "yes?" sly said. "you wanna see something cool?" bentley said. "i dunno. why?" sly said. "i askled you first." bently said. "who me? sly?" sly said. "your the only one in the room r-tard and murry's too gay and retarded for me to show him something this fuckity fuck cool." bentley said. "ok?" sly said. he was confused. "take a looky look at this." bently said. he pulled out a joint. "the fuck is this shit?" sly said. "it's called weed or mairjuwanna. it's good bro try some." bent-lee said. sly lit up a blunt and felt really good because he was high and that is what wheed does, it makes you feel high. and good. "bently bro...im so high.....your name is should be bluntly lol" sly said. "What the Fu-" Sly said as he was grabbed by someone behind him. It was Murry. "Hi Sly. it rhymes." Murry said. "Yes." Sly said. "Sly rhymes with Hi." "you guys wanna play Ultra Thuggn 5000Â® on the Xbox 360Â®???" murry murr said. "no you fatass retard. that game is lame. What the fuck? Fuck Mury, it's fucking chinese checkers. This game is lame. Heh heh eh.. it rhymes." sly sly said. "fat fat fatty! murrys a fat fat fattyy fuck fatty!" betgnly said. sly and bently started laffing at murry. like a lot. if you were therte you'd be so annoyed with how much they where laughing because it was lot. "haha" murry said. he was laffing to try and seem like therye bullying wasnt getting to him but deep inside murry was ANGRY. he did a double punch and punched sly and bently right in the fucking face. they fell down. sly falls down. bently felled down too! "my fists are dubble trubble mothrerfuckers! dubble bubble trubble!" murry said. "oh it's on you fat shitcake" sly said. he got up and grabbed murry's balls and put them in a Slap Chopâ„¢. he slapped the chop out of fucking murry's ball sacks. "ARGH HARG GUIRGE>...FUCK YOU SLY." murry said as his balls bled all over the blace. then something bad and not good happened. patrick found out that they escaped his bastardly trappy trap! "You little wobblering fucking cunts." he said. sly, bentlkey and murry started to cry. "how the fuck did you escape the gaters? you motherfuckers i'll kill you all myself. you little bastard fucks are nothing but trubble. i know it. ok?" patrick said (a/n not patrik sars from spungebob) "fuck you patrick, step the fuck out of my face motherfucker or i'm finna put a cap in your rhincoeriys ass." sly said. patrick pushed sly and bently and murry down. "Do you have an understanding of your life? Does not he? ! ! I put some pain in your life son, in some fucking pain. I want to fuck the shit out of you and your boy did not do anything since the first day of trouble. Do you understand it? Do you understand the langauge of shit that I speak? I want to fuck you! Finnish to break my belt, I whip out your fucking shit! Put whipped cream on your back, I whip out your shit! Are you all right? Are you crying? So you need to fucking shit works. To kill you, I kill the dust you're fucking your fucking homo trying to crush your body into dust. 100 seconds worth the pain I will give to you 100 years.You fucking faggots." patrtick screamed loud and loudly at them. bently wnet into his shell because he was really scared. so was sly. like if you were there and someone scary like patrick was yelling at you would you be scared? i fucking know i would. sly kicked bently who was in his shell over to patrick and hit him in the fuckin foot. "OW FUCK." he said. he fell back because sly just lunched bently at his foot and it hurt him a lot. he fell out the window and fell a lot and landed on the grass hard. 100 fire ants, 100 bees, 100 giraffes and 100 wolfs all attacked him! and they all had 100% rabies. "AH NO PLEASE I DON'T FUCKING WANTED TO DIE THIS WAY." Patrick screemed as the rabie animals ripped him to shred. there was blood and shit and a blody carc-ass all over the floor and the ground. patrick was fuckiond dead. "i'm happy patrick's dead." bently said. he came out of his shell. "yeah me too." sly said. "and me." murry said. "SHUT THE FUCK UP MURRY." sly said. he had a really fucking devious look on his face. "guys i think we should be criminals. it is our calling in our lives to steal shit and bad!" sly said. by bad sly meant bad in a cool way not bad like in the way that they'd fucking suck or some shit. "yeah that sounds like fun. a lot of run fun really." bentley said. flashbork over. "FUCK" murry yelled suddently "DAMN IT SHIT WHAT THE FUCK" sly said. he was really scared because they were all chille before. "sorry that story made me pissed. I have to hang out with you assholes now cuz of that shit." "the doors fucking right there pal, go the fuck out if you're gonna be a lil' bitch. we gonna call you lil' bitch from now on capeesh?" sly said like a new york bostin guy. "fune fickers shit the feck outta heeyeeh" murry said. "Ojay." sly said. "WHANT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?!??" MURRY SAID. "I said ojay it's better than okay." sly said. "Okay." "NO!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING SHIT!!! IT'S OJAY!!!!!" sly said. "AAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Murry said. Murrys eys turned blood red. He grabbed the game disk and ran out smashing out a window. "good fucking riddance." sly said. "shit sly you think he's gonna try anad kill us?" "over my dead ass he is. FUCK HIM." "remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?" "you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. (a/n remember to do this story it funny) "no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said. "oh" "do you want to do a flashback of that?" "fuck bently what are we gonna do flashbacks 100 times or something?" "100 times?" "yeah" "I don't know that seems like a lot of flashbacks" "I know that's why I said it. it's a big number." "100 times seems like a lot" "it is" "maybe we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times" "maybe we shouldn't." "I think we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times" "ok" "yeah" "so what do you want to talk about?" "remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?" "you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. "no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said. "oh" "do you want to do a flashback of that?" "fine whatever" "biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times. sly did a triple helix back fucking flump and landed on his ass. he still sucked at theifing shit so he fucked it up really badly. he talked on his fucking dial up shitty walkie fucking reh-SEE-verr because fuck it was the olden times or some gay as fucking fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit damn ass drumpin flump. "shit" sly said into the walkie "sly what the shit are you fucked up and high? are you smoking crack? are you fucked up 100 ways from tomorrow?" bently said. "no bently I just forgot what we're stealing and where we are and when we are." "it is night time and you are stealing from this video game museum. we be robbing nintendo, microsott, sonny, all that shit." bentarly said literally. "oh" "so maybe you should go steal this video games or something 100 times." "I gotta take a dump first." sly said. he went to go poop in a toilette before he would need a moist towelett to clean his pants. fucking carmelita was hanging around the front of the bathrooms. "who the fuck are you some kind of pervert?" sly said quietly but and to himself so she wouldn't hear him but she did. she got really scared and ran away. sly went to the toilet and sat down and did number 2 100 times. he got up and washed his hands 100 times. then he saw a see ling skware move. he saw cankaleamgia hanging around up there. "fuck you are a pervert you fucking pervert. maybe you should be a cop instead of a pervert." sly said. "fuck that's a good idear." carmeiliat says as she jumps away. "shit" sly said as he rememerd what he did. "i took a shit." sly ran to the video games and stole some of them. he made sure to only get cool games. there was a geekazoid loser with a glow stick uniform doing sekuritee. sly punched him in the dick and ran away. "ahhh fucker." the guy said. the guy's name was a big fucking surprise, it was barack obama back when he was a nerd. flashback over. "fuck that was obama." sly said. "I fucking punched obama in the dick." "cool" "yeah" "maybe we should go do something" "maybe we should" "let's get ice cream and then go to the shopping mall to by supplys sly." "ok" they got in the van. they went to the mall. they got ice cream. it was good. "sly this ice cream is scrimply tastey i do say so myself as i am bently." bently said. "bently shut the fuck up and enjoy the ice cream because it is fucking good." sly said. "what kind of flayvor did you get?" betnyl siad. "100% chocklate." sly said. he wasn't kidding like it was no joke. even the SpÃ¼Ã¼ne was made out of chocolate! "nice." bently said. he liked the spoon or spune or SpÃ¼Ã¼ne "what did you get." sly said. "dubble bannana 100 budge fudge." betnly said with a big smile on his fucking face. "i like ice cream" sly said licking his chops. "yum yum yum" "Indeed it is very yummy" bentradely said. "yum!" sly said. he ate the ice cream. "did you know that ice cream is really really good?" bently said. "yeah." sly said. "it is." bently said. "i know, you didn't need to fucking tlel me that ice cream's good becuz is fucking is ok?" saly said. "i know, but i just like it alot." bently said. "i know me too." sly said. "i know how you feel about ice cream because i feel the same way," bently said "we feel good about our ice cream." sly said. "yes indeeder we do." bently said. "we feel really fucking good aobut it." sly said. "yes because ice cream is really good." bently said. " i bet murry wishes he could stuff his fat fucking face with this ice cream?" bent;ly said. "whos murry?" sly said. "you know the fat gay retarded hippo that follows us around." bently said. "oh you mean lil' bitch. fuck him, he's not Â good enough for ice cream because ice cream is good." sly said. "indeeder that it is sly." "yeah" sly said. "ice cream is yummly." bently said. "but murry is a fagtard and a redneck motherfucking piece of shit." sly said. "i agree with you on that one." bently said. "but you also agree with me about ice cream." "yeah i do sly." bently said. "i bet ice cream gives murry gas." sly said. "yeah" bently said. they laughed at sly's funny joke. "oh my head hurts. i ate my ice cream 100 times too fast and now i have BREAIN FREEEZE!" sly siad. "AH ME TOO IT UFCKING HURTS. IT HURTS! AHHH" bently said. they screamed until the pain went away and it hurt a lot. have you ever gotten brain freeze before? i get it a lot when i eat ice cream and i do the same thing sly and bently do, i scream for my cream, my ice cream! they finished their ice cream. they were happy because it was good ice cream and not bad ice cream. "fuck we gotta buy supply but we spended too much money on ice cream!" bently said. "you know what that means!" sly said. "WE GOTTA STEAL!" sly and bently said at the same time. "STEAL SOME SHIT" sly said. "SHIT WE GONNA STEAL." bently said. everyone looked at them funny. "whant supllies do we neeeeed?!" sly said. "we need some grappelling hooks and some wire. 100 times what we use unusally." bently said. "how much would that cost if we didn't eat the iced creamiscles?" sly said. "about 100 dollars." bently said. "nice!" sly said. "but that ice cream was really good." bently said. "worth the money i know, we must've spent 100 dollars on ice cream." sly said. "right?" bently said. "shit was so cash." sly said. "cash with some ass." bently said very slowly. "ass." sly said. "cash." bently said. "ass cash ash ass cash" sly said. "cash ass ash cash ass." bently said. "ASS CASH!" they saided at the saime time. "100" sly said. "ok time to steal." bently said. they went to the thieving goods store at the mall. seriously those exist, google it dude. "ok bently i got a pro thieving idea that's ultra fucking devious and theivoes. 100 % fucking devious." sly said. "ok you got this shit sly" bently said. "i got this because ima spicey meat-a-ball!" sly said in a cool voice. he went into the store which was called THIEVES R USÂ© they had a lot of theifing stuff in there. sly went up to the place where the grapplinger hooks and wire were and just put a shit ton in his bag. then something bad happned. "WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" a mall cop said. "oh shitting fuck nuggets" sly said. they ran away, they came back to the mall once the mall copz were gone. they went to get 100 times more ice cream adnd then they went to the shopping mall to buy supplyes for sly. "Hey SLY?" bently said. "Yes?" sly said. "Do you want to want to make some fucking ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos?" bently said. "Yes?" sly said. "LET'S MAKE THAT FUCKING ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos!!!!" bently said. "Yeseser." sly said. they went into home and into their place to the kictchen. they put ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos into a ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos container. they made it and squeezed it from a icing tube it into a bowel. they ate it with licking it. it was tasting goodlicious. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" sly said. "THIS ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos IS FUCKING GOOD!!! WE FUCING ATE IT IT!!!!" bently said. they had like 100 cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos. then they got bored. "fuck now what" sly siad. "fucking bored now" "fuck so am i" "fuuuuuuuuuuckles." "shit bricks, let's go rob some shiz with these surplies, or try to mess with cazremeltiua " sly said making funny face. "fuck okay just don't whip your dick out and try to have sex with her or perhaps she'll pull the legal lever to making hunting coopers legalized." "aiight. fuck." sly siad mad because that was his plorn. "Will you quit saying fuck?" "FUCK!! Fuck." bently said."...fuck..." "sly stepped on his foot...hard. "FUCK!! Fuck." bently said. "STOP SAYING FUCK!!!" SLy said. "it's totes my thing tos ay fuck plus you said it like 100 times" "FUCK YOU!!!" bently said in a plerb accent. sly promptly carefully reached into bently's shell carefully and grabbed his tiny turtle balls. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "Look Buffalo Bitchcake, if you say the word "fuck" one more time i will crush these puny blueberries you call racoon testicles and you can't have sexual intercouse with penlpe or even masturbate good. you said it 100 times okay" "I'm sorry..." bently said as tears coursed down his face and hit his balls 100 times. The tears started to burn, causing steam to rise. "Oh God!" bently screamed as sly began to twist his steaming nuts. "Now lets' find carmelia." sly began to leave. "Um Sly." "What?" "Could you let go of my balls, please?" "oops, sorry buddy." sly let go. Sly and Bently climbed into the shiny smooth Cooper van. "Sly. My balls are killing me." bently said as he massaged his area. "Sorry. You shoulda stopped saying the f word. you said it like a hundred times." sly said. "fuck." "I guess. It's just..." bently stopped talking. "It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just.. my balls hurt really really really bad." bently said 100 times. "Just stop swearing." sly said, combing his stupid fucking haircut so carmfarmbelarmblita would think he was legit. it like an affrooo. "OK." benly said. "i'm gonna fucking murder you and everyone else if you ever fucking do that again you motherfucker. I'll build a goddamn nuke to kill ever living beeng. so go fuck yourself and never touch my sack again fucker, I will fucking end you and everything you hold dear." "ok" sly said."You wanna grab something to eat." "k." 'tly said."where the FUCK do you want to eat?" "How about Mickey dees, Ba-ba-bah-ba-ba. I'm lovin' it." bento struck sylverster (that's his full fucking name alright? don't fukin pretend it's not scrub, it fucking is, it's fucking slyvester okay.) with a frying pan. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!!!" BENT-LY SCREAMED. "get bent" sly said. "hehehe" "hahahaha" "hahahaha" "good one" "I kno. let's go to Quizno's insted." sly said. "Sounds good to me." They pulled into the Quizno's/" "Yeah, I'd like one hundred Quiznos, a hundred cups of coffe, exrta syrup and sugar. 100 peeses of sugar and syrup." Sly said to the waiter. "I WANT NOTHING!! Bently screamed. The waiter flipped off benlty and ran away. "That waiter looks familar ;and fucking shit. FUCK." "Go to hell, you coconut sodomizing BITCH." Sly yelled at the waiter. "WAIT!...IT IS MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" "Guys?" Murry said. He ran over, flipped the table over and tackled Bently. "WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!" Murry said. He began jump on bently's gut 100 times. "NNNOOOOO!! Murry You suck! HA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HA!" Bentley said as he tried to laugh to ease the pain but it turned his tears to blood and jizz. Sly came to the rescue just in time with a fork and lodged it deep into murry's back, like fuck it was so deep you'd be really surprised and all grossed out and shit if you saw it, for fucking realsies. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!! murry screeched 100 times. "Cat got your tongue?" Sly said as pulled murrys tongue our and he dumped 100 hot sauces on murry's tongue. "ENOUGH!" Murry overpowered sly and pushed him into some old people. they died. they were patrick's parents and they were really happy to be dead because they hoped they could go to hell to be with their son patrick in hell. "First, I Will Be serving some apetizers!" Murry said as he punched Sly in the face,"Then the first course" Another punch."Then the second." Yet another punch."Then the third!!!!" Sly was now currently a bloody racoon. He tried to crawl away. But murry grabbed his nuts. "Murry got your balls?" Murry said as he dragged sly's sac over to the grill stove. "For 100 time's sake, Murry." sly begged. "PLEASE DON'T!!!! "Maybe you should've thought about wearing pants." murry said. but then something wierd happnd. penelope showed up. "holy shit." sly said. "what" penpy said. "you never fucking show up you shitty fucking nerd." bently said. "if penpy saiz one fucking word." murry said. "one more and I'll rip sly's balls off." "fuck." sly said. "don't fucking say shit penpie. OKAY? I kno you're a chick so chick's like to fuckin talk all the god dam time but SHIT this once, my balls are on the fucking line, or should I say in a fat gay hippo's strongly grap!" "CRAP!" bently said. he knew pembly couldn't fucking do it. she was a woman after all. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MOTHERFUCKERS" carmelita said. she wuz disguyzed as a chair. "ho shit hehehehe" sly said, obvosly checking her ass out 100 times. "hehehehe" "FUCK YOU CARMELITA. I FUCKING NEW U WER THERE OKAY?" murry said, throwing 100 tiles from the grownd at her. "i'm sick of your ficking bullshnit cunting shit fuck fuck fucking fuckery where you fucking come in fucking shit up and shit, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck YOU." murry started punching carmelita 100 times and sly was too scared to do nothin. she was nearly dead when she fell over. "oh fuck carmelita may be dead." penplo said. sly started crying more because murry was sure to rip off his balls now. "oh shit hehehe" murry said. "now I get to rippy rippy." "or do you?" someone misterious said from the fromt of kwissnose. it was....DEMETRI!!?!?!?!?!? "Demeatree???!" sly said. "dametri? fuck demetri, you're gay you fuck fucking 100 times fucking cunt!" murry said. he went outside. he picked up a car he threw it at demetri. demetri was dead! "No!" sly said. "i'll save you bently" pepy said. "pepsi no!" bently said. murry thought she was a drink so he drunk her. "no she dead no." bently said 100 times. "lol." sly said out loud laughing. then murry grabbesd sly's fucking balls harder. carmeliat got really sad. "i don't want sly balls die." she jumped at fuckin murry but sumthin fuckin weird fucking happnd. "I don't feel good." carmelita said then melted. a death ray laser from outside had crashed into her and she died! "NO FUCK HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING NO NO NONOONONONO" sly said. "she's dead sly, ok she's dead. deal with it." bently said, taking his glasses off and breaking them to sho how for real he is. "no fucker you fucker..." sly said, cursing murry to death 100 times in his souls. "ha ha fucking ha." murry said, as his mech suit (which look like a gundam mixed with a school bus so it was super fucking legit). he got in his mech suit that ripped the roof off (remember to fix the other part A/N) and flew away. "meet me at london at big ben the big clock tower if you want to end this." murry left, and his ship was flying away with gayness. "fuck sly, good thing I built you a giant mech suit just in case this happened." he pushed a baton and then a giant mech suit shaped like sly but like a transformer, like the new movie transformers, not the old transformers, the new movie ones okay? but anyways sly got in and bently strapped himself to it, they flew away, burning up quiznos and penelpys and carmolitas bodays. "we cremate them" bently said as he cry. "yeah bently we did, we did good. now we kill the fucker once and for all." "sly I got something to say." "ok" "if we don't make it i have a solution. we gotta fucking do it. just say cheese when we're done." "ok sure bently whatever." sly was actually pretty bored now. they flew to big ben and murry was flying. "HEY FUCKO" murry said loudly and oncely. "what is it why did you keel them." sly said. "fuck you." "man I could be palying video games " sly said, firing a hundred rockets at muhwey. "uhhh" murry said taking a dump in his robot. "haha now I will win." sly said he was reading macks ihm may gah zeen. but murry was ready. he fired a murry laser from the canon and shoted sly. "AHHH NO" bently said as he died when the leg part he was strapped to fell off and blew up forever. "ahh damn." sly said. he wanted to cry another tear, but no more tears would come anymore forever. "100 times damn you sly cooper." murry said, firing more rockerts. sly started to fell to the ground. "man this is my fucked up life." sly think. "I fucked up everything, and everyone I love is dead, how will I go now that I crash into this burning robot suit to the ground by big ben, I hope I don't fall on any bad tooth british faggots. fuck the british." "hey" bently's ghost said. "say cheese" "bently! why you here you like the force or something?" "no this just a hologramp." bentrometer said. he wasn't really a ghost i lied okay. "what do I dooo everything so shitty and I'm dyin." "fuck sly this is what you gotta do. say fucking cheese. then it will activate the back up platn. then you can defeat murry. then after he's dead push the bright fucking button with a dick on it." "ok" sly said. "cheese" "and sly" "yeah?" "fucking rape him for me, okay?" bently said as he flew away into the internet. sly pushed a new button and THEN SHIT WENT DOWN. new legs came out of the robot like ketulu, and then robot tentacles turned into regular robot arms. a fuckton of missles hit murry's robot and he crashed to the ground. sly flew the robot down behond murrey's which was all on fours. "hey fucker, this is for killing patrick." sly said as he activated rape mode and his robot raped murry's robat. "ahh OOH nOOO" murry said as his robot exploded and he fell out. a bunch of gay british people found him and raped him too and he died. "now what. oh yeah that button" sly said. he pushed the dick button and time exploded. "FUCK TIME IS GOING AWAYYYY" he woke up on da balcony. carmelita walked out. to be continued in thieves in time.

#sly cooper #the pete Peterson experience #tppe #andy #ty love

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vincent-wantsyourass-valentine · 8 years ago

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I was tagged by @sosuke-of-secondearth

Rules: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. - Maybe

THE LAST 1.Drink: Water 2.Phone call: My father I think 3.Text message: My friend Stephano 4.Song you listened to: Lydia by Highly Suspect 5.Time you cried: Few days ago, kitten passed away.

6.Dated someone twice: I did. What a horrible mistake that shit was. 7. Been Cheated on: More times than I’d like to admit. 8.Kissed someone and regretted it: I mean, yeah but that happens sometimes. 9.Lost someone special: Yeeeaaahhh 10.Been depressed: I have. 11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: I sneezed over 10 times while drinking once. Never been so dizzy in my life. So yeah.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: Blue, black, red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15.Made new friends: I’ve tried to. I’m horrible at it though. :c 16.Fallen out of love: Nah, still quite happy with my squish. 17.Laughed until you cried: I have, makes my heart happier than my eyes wet. 18.Found out someone was talking about you: Ohhhh yeah. You’d be surprised what people say about you when they think you can’t hear. 19.Met someone who changed you: I had some really awesome classmates this year who helped me grow as a writer. :D 20.Found out who your true friends are: In a way. 21.Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Indeedly doo. 22.How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them. 23.Do you have any pets: I have two cute, fuzzy, dick bags. I love my cats. 24.Do you want to change your name: I honestly cannot stand my first name but I don’t know if I’d change it. 25.What did you do for your last birthday: Went to a local convention with my favorite nerds and then played Smash bros. <3 26.What time did you wake up: Today? Around 9-ish. I didn’t get out of bed til much later. 27.What were you doing at midnight last night: I was recording a game for my dudes. :D 28.Name something you cannot wait for: The AC to be fixed. Florida is too hot for this shit, man. 29.When was the last time you saw your mother: Alive? March 7th, 2012. Grave? March 7th, 2017. Don’t get sad my dudes. I had a great visit last time. Why be sad about it when you can remember all the good things? 30.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Become a better person. I’m a wreck yo. 31.What are you listening to right now: The sound of every fan in the house trying to battle the Florida weather. 32.Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I think so? 33.Something that is getting on your nerves: The heat. 34.Most visited website: Probably YouTube. 35.Elementary: I went to one. 36, High School: I also went to one of these. 37.College: Attending one of these 38.Hair color: Brown 39.Long or short hair: Long 40.Do you have a crush on someone: Yea, my boyfriend. 41.What do you like about yourself: I don’t really know. I make people laugh I guess. 42.Piercings: Currently I have none whatsoever. 43.Blood type: I should probably know this one, huh? 44.Nickname: Jess 45.Relationship status: I’m taken bacon, yo. 46.Zodiac sign: Virgo 47.Pronouns: She/her 48.Favorite tv show: Current favorite is Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure 49.Tattoos: Triforce on my left shoulder 50.Right or left hand: Right handed but I use both for drawing and painting. Kinda useful to be honest.

FIRST… 51.Surgery: EH.... 52.Piercing: I had my ears pierced when I was little but they closed ages ago. 54.Sport: I used to play an assload of soccer. 55.Vacation: Universal Studios in Orlando. Fun place. 56.Pair of trainers: Whut

MORE GENERAL… 57.Eating: I’d kill for some chocolate icecream right about now but nothing at the moment. 58.Drinking: Glass of water. Good shit, yo. 59.I’m about to: Probably gonna go play a videogame after this. 61.Waiting for: Final grades to come out. 62.Want: I currently wanna get my hands on the game PREY that just came out. 63.Get married: Eh, maybe someday. 64.Career: Pretty sure I still wanna be an artist. 65.Hugs or kisses: Hugs make me happiest. 66.Lips or eyes: Eyes, yoooo. 67.Shorter or taller: Either or, doesn’t really matter. 68.Older or younger: I prefer slightly older guys. 70.Nice arms or nice stomach?: I don’t really think that matters. 71.Sensitive or loud: Sensitive I suppose. 72.Hook up or relationship: Relationships are better for me. 73.Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m a troublemaker. It’s fun?

HAVE YOU EVER… 74.Kissed a stranger?: Not that I’m aware of. 75.Drank hard liquor?: You bet your ass I have. 76.Lost glasses contact/lenses?: Do you know how hard it is to find your glasses without your glasses?! 77.Turned someone down?: Yeeeaaaahhhh. 78.Sex on first date?: Nah 79.Broken someone’s heart?: It’s quite possible that I have. It’s so easy to break someone’s heart without knowing. 80.Had your heart broken?: More than once, that’s for sure. 81.Been arrested?: Why on earth would anyone need to know this? 82.Cried when someone died?: Yup, death makes me act strange. 83.Fallen for a friend?: Yuuuuup. DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84.Yourself?: I try to. Better to try than to always believe I’ll fail at everything I do.

85.Miracles?: Sometimes?

86.Love at first sight?: Depends I suppose.

87.Santa Claus?: If I do will he bring me that game I want? 88.Kiss on the first date?: Depends on how well I clicked with said person. 89.Angels?: Sure, why not.

OTHER…. 90.Current best friend’s name: Bruh, you’re asking for a list I’m not into writing atm, yo. 91.Eye color: Brown 92. Favourite movie: Currently? Moana

As for tagging people. I’m not into that but feel free to do this if you want. c:

#long post #questions

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 8 years ago

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did i tell you about the wanker we had on our team tonight?

like, we’re at 2fort right... and this guy, rising erectile eagle or something to that effect, is a soldier.

the team, red, is pretty much spawncamped by multiple soldiers from the get-go.

no one can leave, no sentries live more than a millisecond. and it’s like ??? it’s 2fort, if you have to spawncamp that hard to get all three captures, you must be terrible players (spawncamping with a no cap treaty is different tho)

this guy spends the ENTIRE game in chat going on about how ‘his entire team are idiots/retards/have a collective ig of 7′ and ‘should just uninstall’... he breaks out fuck and cunt later on...

dude... had like 6 points... in all the games we played... his mediocre ass was levels above mine, and that’s the best he could do... as a soldier, at 2fort...

but it was toooooooootally the team’s fault.

dude would get out of the spawncamp, and fuck off, telling the other team ‘it’s really me vs all of you my team are useless’

and like, the blus were pretty much in the same boat us us, “alright edgelord chadley, time to calm down now”

everyone was just laughing at the dude, bc how pathetic can you be, really...

and not one game, but every game... bruh, it ain’t the team... but if you maybe helped for once, then they could get some points too instead of being spawncamped the whole match... ???

it was just really embarrassing to see him go on, and on, and ON like a tantruming small child... and all you can imagine is some angry tween shouting at his computer screen bc he’s pretty much mediocre at a random video game... but like, the possibility that he could be my age, or older (and there are always super-angry old dudes out there on the servers) is chilling

Don’t make me call supernanny on your ass, chadley erecteagles...

the real frustration was that the dude kept trying to votekick anyone he didn’t personally think was performing ‘to his standard’ (the high standard of 6, average, btw)... and it was like, bruh... make like Elsa and Let It Go...

No one got kicked

Not even him... bc it was sort of funny to watch this dude just about crap himself with anger, via misspelled chat text...

the other team wasn’t buying it either, like i said, they were asking the dude to chill from the get-go, but eventually everyone ignored him

kind of sad, tho, kind of pathetic

just keep thinking about how whacked your life must be to get super fucking pissed about a video game... at 2fort in TF2, in casual and not comp mode...

like... everyone else managed to have fun when they broke out of spawn, my son... and maybe you would have played better if you didn’t pause every three seconds to ALL CAPS TYPE ANGRY BLAME-LADEN BABBLE AT THE OTHER PLAYERS

my bruh, chill

it’s legit just a game... and you kind of suck at it, and that’s #okay

please cease being so damn cringeworthy, perhaps?

like, you always get that one dude every few matches that loses it over a loss, but never to this extent, not all damn game, it’s kind of ????

now, medics who uber someone only to have them blast off like team fucking rocket (or heal heavies who have a sandvich but let you die anyway), they’re the class with a legitimate grievance

or engineers on a team of like four pyros, who get backstabbed bc none of them spycheck... legit grievance

or spies that are in the perfect position, all staked out and everything, and then a teammates draws fire on where they’re hiding so it was all for nothing... 100% behind that level of fury

or heavies who have to run the whole map bc the engineers won’t put down a damn tele, hella legit frustration...

or legit anyone standing next to a sniper when they get backstabbed or attacked, and their ‘help’ gets ignored... is usually less frustrating, assuming they die immediately after as karma intends...

or, medic again... when you’re ALMOST at uber, and your healee just fucking RUNS into a group of enemies, who take them out... and then turn on medic... it’s like, ‘dude?’ but they always spam that e key for another chance at uber and you’re like, ‘Amyoyo, my good merc, amyoyo’

actually, it’s hilarious to get confused reactions when you tell someone (often someone who’s calling teh medic(s) all sorts of horrific names for not pocketing them exclusively, “Patient (their name), Diagnosis: AMYOYO”

bc then they have to ask what it means, but you’re busy so it bothers them all match until right at the end (as they die again bc no heals for you asshole), you have mercy and tell them... “Alright Motherfucker, You’re On Your Own”

...some dude was legit picking on this like, level 2 baby medic on my team the other week... they were doing their best, alright... they had uber issues (had to be told how to pop it, and how to time pre-match ubers so they didn’t die immediately)... this dude, like, bruh...

so, ‘what the fuck is wrong with you faggot’ and ‘you’re a fucking terrible cunt, medic’ was all levelled at them... and it was like, “My dude, apologise to them, your mediocre ass has like 12 points...”

they refused

“Patient (their name), Diagnosis: AMYOYO”

he was so pissed it was beautiful... but bc it was directed at me, it meant nothing... the babymedic did better, esp bc they learned not to just uber on the command of an asshole... and also, they got some assists

hate wasting uber, tbh

“Medic Medic Medic Medic” spams the players you know want a pocket but can’t do anything with it except get you both killed with no assists. “No No No No” you respond.

Dude, you give the uber to: a) yourself if it’s life or death b) yourself if you run into a sentry c) the nearest person you can find in a surrounded scenario d) the person you know will do the best work with it e) whoever is convenient and not on your shitlist f) everyone, that is to say, if everyone’s on fire and you have uber... it’s the fastest way to save them all esp. if the pyro’s still alive g) whoever the fuck medic wants to give it to, really

there’s this one dude, BounCe or something zany like that, who spent an entire match spamming E and getting angry when I DARED to (as sole healer on a 12-player team) heal OTHER PLAYERS than HIM... you know, bc he was fresh out of spawn and the others, who had actually been fighting, were near death. If you deployed an uber not on him, the boy lost it... ‘cunt this, cunt that’... bruh... chill

I didn’t know AMYOYO at the time, but I just said, “Good luck with that, motherfucker” and left him to die. He’d stand right next to me most of the match hitting ‘E’... and then run off to angrily die somewhere...

dude wasn’t a great player, but we had other brilliant players on the team anyway... who deserved uber...

side note: as a medic, you have to work with who you get... if i get a relatively new player who gets ubere d(to get us the fuck out of there or give them a chance to do the thing), and they miss all shots or aren’t quite sure what to do... that’s chill. sometimes you have to say, ‘when I do that, the uber, you’re invulnerable for a certain amount of time... you can shoot down the sentry or enemies and live’, and the next time it’s better.

but on the other hand, there are dudes who demand it, then do nothing with it, consistently... and are jerks to the rest of the team (esp. supports) for it

...so this guy, bounce, was busy being a dick in all the following matches. but then, the night before last, same dude pops into a game i rando’d in as medic... same shit. he didn’t remember. “Fucking hela me you cunt” “Why Bounce, that didn’t work the last time, my son, diagnosis: AMYOYO” and he lost it... I was laughing so hard.

Some dude named scooby doo is also on my shitlist, for attacking the entire team but mostly the medic. like dude... if medic is dying, alone, and has an uber, surrounded by the other team... no one is waiting 15 fucking seconds for your ass to respawn to pop it... rage all you wish...

honestly, the match i mention to start with, the other thing was that the dude did nothing but demand a pocket medic for himself and complained the team was useless bc they didn’t want to provide him with one... ...i was tempted to medic it up with everyone else, bc i rando’d in as one to start with, but the lag was making it hard to work out where people were. i refused to risk healing the dude, and went engie instead

Eternal AMYOYO for all of you... it’s just a game. it’s great fun and we love it, but it’s just a game and if you’re that serious, go to comp mode... where you can circlejerk to your own importance...

(honestly, most of the teams recently have been generally newish players who are trying to excitedly learn new maps and gameplay, strategies, etc. don’;t ruin it for them bc there are consequences)

#tf2 #no one can stop you

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captainexplody · 8 years ago

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Radical Cars

Some snazzy video titles and cuts of cool looking cars flash in front of our eyes. In between shots of cars, we see a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt crossing his arms and putting sunglasses on his face as he stands beside the cars. Some rocking guitar music plays over the top. Eventually this garish title screen ends and we see that same Hawaiian shirt-wearing fool leaning against a car sat at a beach.

Todd Weisenburger: Hey yo welcome back to another amazingly fantastical and great episode of Radial Cars, with me, your sweet-ass host, Todd Weisenburger! We’re going to be looking at some real radical cars today, hells yeah to the homeslice, know what I mean brosizzle? Heck yeah, bam bam I’m electric! Ok here we go!

Todd Weisenburger jumps onto a skateboard tied to a BMX being ridden by Todd’s good friend, Matt Hoffman. Hoffman rides the BMX up and over a series of cool vert ramps as Todd Weisenburger flips over them too as he rides his skateboard. Wow this guy is super cool, right? Hells yeah. They skate and bike away from the cars that Todd was standing beside and takes him across the beach, to a completely new set of stupid looking cars further up the beach. Todd Weisenburger jumps off the skateboard and puts a pair of sunglasses on as he does so, walking towards one of the cars.

Todd Weisenburger: So we’ve got some funkingly great cars right here, boss! Let’s gander our eye-buckets at these chim-guzzlingly great diesel-munchers.

Todd Weisenburger stands beside one of the cars, and the cars owner is standing there too, looking confused as he doesn’t understand all of the cool lingo that Todd Weisenburger is using.

Car Owner: Excuse me?

Todd Weisenburger flips the man off at close range, before he pulls out a gun and shoots a seagull that was walking along the beach.

Todd Weisenburger: Aww man, FATALITY! Bam bam! Ha ha, dope shot there bro! And by bro I mean me, obviously!

The guy who owns the car glares at Todd Weisenburger.

Car Owner: Hey, what are you talking about? You guys said you were going to talk about my customised car, why are you shooting birds?

Todd Weisenburger chews some bubblegum and blows a really big bubble with it. He blows a bubble so big that he floats up in the air for a few feet before the bubble bursts and he falls back down onto the ground, feet first like a cat. Then Todd Weisenburger brushes himself off and slaps the car owner on the back of the head.

Todd Weisenburger: Watch that tongue, honey-bunny! I’m in the driving seat for this rodeo.

Car Owner: Rodeo..?

Todd Weisenburger: Let’s gather our eyeballs together and take a good long look at this amazing hot rod of yours, spunky!

The guy who owns the car doesn’t look too happy about this Todd Weisenburger guy, but he decides to oblige.

Car Owner: ... Alright. So this is my car. Take a look under the hood here...

The car owner goes to pop the hood of the car to show everyone the engine of the car, but before he does Todd Weisenburger interrupts.

Todd Weisenburger: Well howsaboutsabouts we pop the hood on this ridiculous ham-fisted car-buster, take a good hard look at ourselves and observe the oily goodness of this mechanical monstrosity, yeah? Hells yeah!

Car Owner: ... You want to see whats under the hood?

Todd Weisenburger: Aren’t you capable of listening to my word sounds as I spit them out, rap like, into the ether-sphere?

Car Owner: ...?

Todd Weisenburger: Crack open that hood and we’ll check out the salty goodness inside!

Car Owner: I’m just going to pop the hood and we can have a look at the engine.

The guy who owns the car pops open the hood and the camera gets right into the insides of the car. It shows all the bits and pipes and spinny things and whatever the fuck else is inside a car. Todd Weisenburger does a mock double take as he pretends to rub his eyes in surprise over his sunglasses.

Todd Weisenburger: Holy handbags, check out the dank sidecar flip-mobile state of the union interior of this ramshackle bone-rattler!

Car Owner: Yeah, it’s a nice car all right.

Todd Weisenburger: Nice? This flippy-dippy is so crank-o-matic that it defies all consciousness!

Car Owner: Can you like, just speak normally please?

Todd Weisenburger: No can do, kitty cat! I’m all about flipping out my doo-friends, cranking their brain matter and submersing myself into super cool culture, transcending pop-cult and becoming some kinda super saiyan magic boy!

Car Owner: Seriously, please stop.

Todd Weisenburger slams the hood down closed again, almost trapping the car owners fingers under the hood. Fortunately he can pull his fingers away in time. Todd Weisenburg pulls one of the car doors open and sits his ass down on the seat, his legs still sticking out of the car.

Todd Weisenburger: Flipping chill car, bruh. It’s got all the doo-dahs that I love tripping over, you get me?

Car Owner: No.

Todd Weisenburger: I love the trim trim, yessir. I love the wheel you’re rocking on the inside, that’ll come in handy for some totally tubular turns, yes yes yep?!

Todd Weisenburger looks at the car owner, as if waiting for a response.

Car Owner: ... Yes?

Todd Weisenburger laughs and claps his hands as if he is pleased with this outcome.

Todd Weisenburger: Heck YES to the flipside, homesquare! Well played, dangervision!

Car Owner: ... Are you calling me dangervision? Because that’s not my name, my name...

Todd Weisenburger holds up a hand to make the owner of the car shush his mouth.

Todd Weisenburger: Shush your hot lips, honey-sugar! We’ve got car evaluating to do. So this is a radical car, right?

Car Owner: I guess.

Todd Weisenburger: So tell me more, hippy-dippy! Does it speed really fast?

Car Owner: ... I suppose. I mean it goes really fast, yeah.

Todd Weisenburger: Hot potatoes, flippy hat man! Well let me ask you this fun fantastic thing I’m going to ask you, does it have a radio?

Car Owner: ... Yes it has a radio.

Todd Weisenburger claps his hands again and then pulls at a gold necklace around his neck, hooking his thumb under it and pulling it out in front of him for absolutely no reason at all.

Todd Weisenburger: I getcha, you cool cat! I hear what you’re digging, digger boy! Well are you ready for the closing question of this quizzical trifecta? Here it comes, bro-hat! Does your car try to convert people to a different religion, possibly Muslim?

Car Owner: Huh?

Todd Weisenburger: Does your car try to force ideals onto people, ideals that they may not necessarily agree with?

Car Owner: ... What are you talking about?

Todd Weisenburger slaps his forehead with the palm of one of his stupid hands, to indicate silliness on the part of the car owner.

Todd Weisenburger: Come on now hopscotch, you are on Radical Cars, the TV show that tries to find the most radical cars of all time! So let’s see how radical your car is! Would you call your car a radical extremist?

Car Owner: ... Ok this is weird, I don’t want to be on your TV show anymore.

Todd Weisenburger: Well tough titties, titty toucher! This show goes out live!

Car Owner: How could you possibly be putting this show out live? What with all the dumb special effects and goofy pieces to camera you always do?

Todd Weisenburger shrugs lazily.

Todd Weisenburger: How the heckity heck do I know? I’m not the producer man, man. Now let’s get to the nitty-gritty-o-bitty here and find out where your car fares up on the RADICAL LIST! A big list of radical stuff!

A graphic pops up on the bottom of the screen, with the text ‘Radical List’ written over the top of it. Todd Weisenburger does his ‘Radical List’ dance while the car owner stands around looking thoroughly confused.

Todd Weisenburger: Alright! Let’s see where this car finds itself on the ‘Radical List’! Ok awwww yeah flim flam-a-roonie! On one end we’ve got the king of the radicals, my boy, my homedawg, it’s Osama Bin-Laden!

A little picture of Osama Bin-Laden’s face appears at one side of the line.

Todd Weisenburger: And on the other side of the Radical List we’ve got the grooviest diesel guzzler this side of the white house, it’s only motherflipping THE CAR FROM CARS!

A little picture of Lightning McQueen appears at the other end of the line.

Todd Weisenburger: So let’s get down to the root of all this evil, you groovy pigeons! After careful deliberation, I’d definitely place this radical car RIGHT HERE on the Radical List!

Todd Weisenburger randomly picks a point on the line and a little graphic of the car he is standing in front of appears on the line. The car owner is still standing there, looking completely bemused.

Car Owner: .. What are you talking about? I don’t understand.

Todd Weisenburger: Pretty good rating there, yessir! Not bad, but not exactly hood either, if you catch my pickle!

Todd Weisenburger stares intensely at the car owner, giving him the thumbs up with one hand and the thumbs down with the other hand.

Car Owner: Ok I’m going home, I’ve had enough of this.

The car owner climbs into his car and starts it up. Todd Weisenburger jumps on top of the bonnet, trying to deter the car owner from driving away.

Todd Weisenburger: Wait wait, homestar runner! We didn’t even get to the bonus round! Has your car ever decapitated anybody in the middle of a town square before?!

The guy in the car flips off Todd Weisenburger before he drives away. The force knocks Todd Weisenburger off from the bonnet of the car and he rolls into the dirt. Todd Weisenburger pulls himself back up to his feet and dusts himself off, before he turns to the camera slowly.

Todd Weisenburger: Well. I guess that’s it for this episode of Radical Cars. It’s been another success, I think you’ll all agree. Make sure to tune in next time where something totally radical will happen! Uh buh-bye cats and kittens and dogs and puppies and horses and foals and other little creatures! Byeeee!

A rope ladder drops down from the top of the screen, supposedly attached to a helicopter, and Todd Weisenburger grabs onto it. The ladder lifts up and then off in the distance the helicopter can be seen flying away. There he goes, Todd Weisenburger, the most radical television show host ever.

#scribbles #todd weisenburger #radical cars #car culture #dumb tv shows

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