#why god. why cant i have a non-smoking roommate.

[karkatnip]

Death by Second-hand Inhalation of Cherry-flavored Vape Smoke

[cookie-crumblr]

The Smell of Smoke

Innocent F! Reader x M!Yandere Bully OC

Part 6~

His Info: 🖕✨

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

MINORS DNI

CW: Fem! Reader, reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, loud “noises”, bullying against reader, explicit language, asphyxiation, fight, blood, extreme violence against reader, hospital setting, coma-d reader,, medication use, non con kissing and touching,

Yesterday feels like a dream, but your throbbing head at least proves the alcohol part…

But what about him being … Nice-ish… to you.

Nice for him definitely.

Nice for you, eh, not so much. no more like not at all.

It’s still weird though.

You don’t understand him in the slightest.

Gods, your leg and head are in agony, like you’re in a crocodile’s mouth and she’s giving you the famously terrible roll of death.

You clamber over to your meds, but they aren’t in your bag. At first you’re confused but when you turn around, your bleary eyes land on an open bottle of beer and your med bottle… Did he try to do something “nice” for you, again?

“What the fuck…” Your lip’s upturned as you groan.

Uhg just get them in you already.

An Hour Later~

You make it to class without a hitch! you feel like for the first time in a week you can breathe, at least a little, though labored, it still feels amazing!

Ezra isn’t in class today, another sigh of relief escapes you.

You’re taking notes diligently today, it’s actually so relaxing, you had no idea something so boring and mundane could be so therapeutic.

It’s a good day without him.

Outside the sun feels so wonderful on your face you forget about your broken and branded leg. It feels like the sun’s giving you a nice warm embrace, keeping you safe from all the horrors you’ve experienced now.

You find a stall vending your favorite foods and go to buy some, and a stranger pays for your food!

It’s such a good day without him.

The Next Day~

*SLAM, BANG!*

“SURPRISE! ‘M Y’R NEW ROOMIE~”

You jump as your door flies off its hinges, and Ezra announces his presence loudly and ridiculously.

Come on, of course you cant have more than a gods damn day to yourself.

He starts throwing your roommates shit all over the room, “the fuck are you doing!?” You yell at him without thinking.

“What’d you say, bitch!?” He immediately faces you, and throws down whatever was in his hands in front of you, causing you to yelp and flinch.

“I-I didn’t—”

“Y-You what? didn’t mean it? It’s too fuckin’ late for you, slut.” He’s already on you, hand wrapped around your throat.

You cough without any air, it’s painful to even try.

Your crutches are next to you on your bed…

You reach and stretch over—

You manage to grab one, it’s a little awkward to wield and swing, but you fucking hit him!

He’s surprised and let’s go of you, a wild smile pulls at his lips.

Oh gods!!

You Bolt.

By the time you’re out of the door, your bad legs make you stumble, then in a second he’s tackling you to the ground.

He punches the back of you then grabs you by the back of your head and smashes your face into the ground.

There’s a ringing in your ears, and blood starts pouring from your nose like a geyser.

“Ezra! Stop!!” Ace’s muffled, worry filled voice rings out from down the hall.

“Stay outta it Ace!” Ezra’s voice is equally as hard to hear, even though he’s yards closer.

“No! Quit it!!! Y/N didn’t do anything to you!”

He throws you forward. You have absolutely no fight. You lie shaking and in complete shock, frozen as of time is ice around you.

“Y/N, You oka— no of course not,,” he rushes over to you.

“Ezra… why…” Ace didn’t ask it, he just sounds so disappointed in his brother.

“Yeah, yeah” Ezra doesn’t look at Ace as he walks past him.

“Easy up there, Y/N,” Ace helps you up and slips your arm around his neck. He’s shorter than Ezra so it’s a little easier to walk with him helping you.

“Fuck, I’m sorry… I’m so… Sorry,” he whispers seemingly to himself.

Your ears are still ringing and your head is in more agony than you’ve ever felt up there, you aren’t sure you can stay upright even with Ace’s help.

“woah there! here,” He lifts you into his solid arms and makes sure your tight against his chest.

You try to stay awake but find that a feeling deeper than even the promise of the deepest sleep is pulling you under fast.

“Hey, w-wait, i think you’re s’posed to stay awake with head injuries!” He panics, and speeds up to his car, but stops and calls for an ambulance.

Shit, you’re gonna have a massive bill. Your head is… in unthinkable agony. Is it gonna explode!?

You black out, and come to a few times, one second your in Ace’s arms, the next you’re in a fire truck? next your in a gurney, and then a hospital.

“Y/N!?” Its Ace that’s there next to you when you wake up, but you see a familiar strawberry blonde standing almost outside of your line of sight. He’s wearing a deep scowl. “Y/N! Y/N! You’re awake!”

“You… Were in a coma… For a week.” Ezra doesn’t look at you as he gets the words out.

“A WEEK!? This time you put me in a coma for a week, and you can’t even look at me, you’re despicable. Why are you even here!?” You grab your head as it pounds.

His fiery gaze meets yours head on and you aren’t backing down. What’s he gonna do? put you in another coma??

For fucks sake.

His expression changes, something akin to lust maybe? It’s always confusing you and giving you whiplash, nothing is ever how you expect with this guy.

“Ace, can you give us a minute?” he asks.

“No can do.” He crosses his arms and shakes his head, steadfast, and not going to leave your side.

“It’s alright, i think he’s made whatever point he wanted to make for now.” You resist rolling your eyes at Ezra, thinking back to just … Well you guess a week ago now. It feels like it just happened a second ago to you. Uhg, your head.

He takes a minutes long pause before deciding and finally standing. “okay… But… yell if you need help.” He’s torn, but you want to hear what Ezra has to say, if anything, or if he’s just gonna jump you again, at least you’re already in a hospital bed…

Oh fuck! it’s just hit you… A Weeks worth of medical bills!? FUCK.

“Y/N—” He starts, but…

“Nope, wait, let me go first. What the hell do you want from me!? Just take it and get it over with already! just look at me! are you done yet? happy?? satisfied??”

“I’m not happy.” He looks out the window at a tree. “‘sides, to be honest, thought youd ‘ave a thicker skull than that,” he snickers.

“Oh fuck off.” You’ve never been so angry before in your life. You’ve also never felt so powerless. Maybe because you have nothing left to loose you feel more unhinged and ready to fight.

“I’m sorry.” he says flatly.

“Did you just..?” NOTHING can redeem him, and he just thinks— or maybe he’s not even thinking! does he have a brain to think?

He crosses the room.

Leaning over you in your bed, he grabs your face to pull it up right in front of his own.

You meet his challenge and stare deeply back into his dark red-brown eyes.

He looks down at your puffed lips and back up.

Soon he’s grabbing you all over your upper half, chest waist, belly, throat, he messes up your gown and when it’s loose around your shoulder he bites you there.

His teeth sink into your flesh, you’re biting your lip and trying to shove him off but you have no strength.

Your head lolls back wards, and as youre about to start counting the dots in the ceiling, he backs off.

“Fuck this, ‘m goin’ out f’r a smoke,” he tosses your head back down to your body and back onto the hospital bed.

Ace steps in right after him, before the door closes, “You alright?”

“Yeah, thank you, Ace… I think i need more meds tho hah” you try and laugh but your head pounds.

“Here!” He pushes the button for you and tells the nurse what’s wrong. he listens to Ace for a second then comes to you to confirm and once you do he gives you more morphine.

Then, your whole body just melts.

Woo goodness does that feel nice. You drift back into sleep happily, forgetting everything, along with the pain just for a second.

Yet…

Both dreams end the same…

[tvdsure]

Don’t jump to conclusions

pairing: eren jaeger x fem!reader, armin Arlert x fem!reader

genre: modern au, fluff and a bit of angst if you look hard enough

word count: 5.7k+

warnings: non

summary: eren has a tour so he’s leaving for three months, you’re absolutely broken but that feeling fades when armin comes over to stay at your place; however, eren isn’t too okay with that idea.

The wind advances through my hair, the jet black locks flowing loosely. It felt magical. However, nothing good ever lasts, they say, and they're right. Eren is leaving. He’s got a huge offer in England to work for this huge band, he's really exhilarated about it and couldn't pass it off, not to mention that it was only a global tour; nonetheless, i'll miss him drastically. 

He reminded me constantly that it’s only three months and that he'll be back in the blink of an eye. I know it won't be like that though, nothing will be like that. I’ve always done everything with him, even before we got together he, armin, mikasa, annie and I were always hanging out. Me and eren were always more than childhood friends though, we both knew that, he took me on our first date when we were 14. I remember  it just like it was yesterday, him anxiously fidgeting as if I would reject him. That date was the first of many.

“Baby,” he starts as he lifts his hand from my thigh and to my hand that was on the light pink bag. He gently caresses the back of my hand as he raises it to his lips and an immediate smile sneaks it’s way to my lips. He is such a sappy romantic but I swoon for it.

“I know you don't like the fact that I have to leave, I don't too, baby. But please promise that you won't lock yourself up in the apartment till I come back. I need you to be okay, i cant handle the fact of you being devastated in our apartment.” he smiles lightly against my skin as he keeps kissing up my arm. Till he reaches my shoulder then I scoot closer to him, pressing my lips against his.

He pulls away quickly after a few seconds to keep an eye on the road and I smirk seeing his distressed face. “Baby, we’re on the road!” he whines and I chortle once again as he does too.

For the rest of the ride I mostly sit there ‘vibing with the music subconsciously as Eren keeps a hand on the steering wheel and the other holding his cigarette. His arm extends to rest on the window as he occasionally bends his arm to bring the cigarette to his mouth then back onto the window. He’s always been thoughtful, caring about my health a little more than he should. He’s so protective, whenever he was smoking he wouldn't allow me in the room and he’d tell me to exit till he’s done, seeing as it is not an hourly thing or is something that repeatedly happens, I leave him.

The music carried me as I started falling asleep. I rested my head against the window and both my hands were left against my bag. He then, quite gently, takes one of my hands to attach his lips to it once again. I swear, he makes my knees weak with every move and I’m not even standing.

“I love you so much y/n, please I’m begging you to take care of yourself, I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.” He tranquilly whispers while taking my hand to his lips one more time then letting them go -very gently- he would never hurt me, I know that.

Slowly, I swirl around to indicate that I’m waking up and I sense his immediate guilt forming, thinking he woke me up.

“‘We there yet?” I ask quietly. He hums, demonstrating a yes.

“Yeah, just got here.” His soft voice radiated immediate warmth towards me. Being next to him makes me so happy, I don’t want that to end, ever.

After hearing his words I stretched a bit then took the water bottle from the handle and took a sip of it when Eren suddenly hit the brakes. The cold water that was once flowing down my throat, is now all over my red outfit.

“That guy just stopped out of-“ he quickly cut himself off when he saw my soaked status.

“Oh my God, baby I’m so sorry, are you okay?” quickly, he tried to get tissues and I giggled lightly. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just water, It’ll dry in the chilly weather anyways.” He calmed down and I smiled at his actions. He’s such a caring person, I don’t know what I’ll do without him.

“Okay and…” he put an arm on my seat as he tried to park correctly. I smile as I take in his features, the white lights illustrating his demeanor. Gray piercing eyes glowing illuminatingly in the moon, he looked so handsome like that. With me. Next to me. Not away from me on the other side of the world.

“Done, let’s go, actually you stay here and I’ll move my bags, you can just get ready.” He knows that before I get out of the car I like to do a few things, it takes me three minutes to get ready. 

“Okay, I love you.” I chant as he smiles at me.

“I Love you more, gorgeous.” A blush forms on my cheeks at the cute nickname he gave me and I grin while looking at the mirror to get ready.

I fix some of my makeup then spray extra perfume. Once I’m done and feel satisfied I get out of the car only to see Eren already down with all two bags out. 

“Okay so these are the bags that I’ll let them take then this one,” he points to a smaller bag, “I’ll take with me on the flight, good?” I nod and walk over to him wrapping my hands around his neck.

“I love you.” I remind once again and he chuckles lightly then kisses my nose.

“I love you more.” 

——————-——————-——————-————-

“That’s it, I guess now I should go.” I said softly as he was showing his passport to the lady who let him in. This was the furthest I could go, I despise that.

“I’ll miss you so much, princess.” He smiles at me and I give him a sweet one back, God I’m going to miss him so much.

“Yeah, me too.” With one hand on my waist, the other lightly touches my cheek and I sigh contently at his movements, I don’t want this to ever end. His thumb rubs over my bottom lips and I instantaneously attach our lips together.

After a few seconds we both pull away and I sense tears threatening to leave my eyes. “I don’t want you to leave, Eren please don’t leave me.” I felt horrible about how selfish I am being but I was just voicing my inner thoughts, I really don’t want him to go.

“Angel…” he cooes and I feel a tear rip from my left eye. The salty, cold droplet against my skin creates a burning sensation. “You know that if that’s really what you want I can arrange it, right? If you don’t want me to go then just say it and I’ll tell them to find a drummer.”

My thoughts become clouded by supplemental cologne. I felt dizzy just hugging him. He leaned down, inching closer to me and kissed my lips.

The act of affection didn't surprise me but with tears in my eyes it was hard to focus on the kiss, so I didn't. I got lost in it.

“N-no, uh…” I stutter as I wipe my tears backing away from him completely, “I'm sorry, baby, I'm okay; plus, you have to follow your dreams, I am in no way going to stop you from that.” I smiled and he nodded lightly as he held my waist and pulled me into another hug.

After a few seconds, whilst tugging away he grabs my check and hands a light peck on my forehead.

“See you, handsome.” I chant and he laughs slightly at my enthusiastic tone.

“I’ll call you when I get there, pretty girl.” he chuckles then throws a wink my way as I fake a smile, afterwards I pull my eyes from his direction as they start to swell up with unstoppable tears.

——————-——————-——————-————-

I throw my shoes on the bedroom floor, my skirt and shirt along with it. On my bed lies an oversized hoodie, belonging to eren. I believe he left it here on purpose, for me. Without a second thought I put it on, feeling pleased with the warmth.

Just as I am about to finally close my eyes to sleep my phone rings in an obnoxiously loud way causing me to flinch and sigh heavily. “‘My baby💘👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 & miss hottie💞🥵 & gorgeous girl💕👩‍❤️‍👩 group chat....”’ I smile slightly at my phone seeing the screen and instantaneously grab my phone to answer.

“Heyy!” I intone and the three females wave at their screens.

“Hey y/n!” Historia exclaims as I smile at her zeal while she talks with me about her day. Mikasa is sitting there listening with the same bored expression on her face, on the other hand, Annie is quite invested in whatever is behind her screen. I’ll take a wild guess and say that she’s also listening to Armin and that's why she’s muted.

“Yeah, but overall it was quite boring, although Mikasa did prank me but that’s a different story.” She laughed and I did too. She’s so adorable. I love her innocence and that pretty smile of hers, it makes me so happy knowing I'm one of her best friends.

Historia and Mikasa are roommates; when they both wanted the same apartment yet found it to somehow cost a lot of money they decided on splitting the rent.

“God I can only imagine one of Mikasa’s pranks, I would honestly just faint, you’re scary as hell.” I add and all four of us chuckle as Mika glares at me but eventually crakes up with us.

After a while I check the time ‘11:16’ it reads, that means we’ve been talking for two and a half hours. I can't stall for sleep anymore.

“Guys, I'm gonna go to sleep now.” I question and they all nod consecutively.

“Love you, bye.” after i get i love you too’s from all of them i press the large red button covering my phone as it takes over the screen with a bright red making me squint lightly.

I change my LED lights to green, get under the blankets and slip my legs round the pillow as I shift into a more comfortable position.

“‘Ocean boy💙📖’ ‘Ocean boy💙📖’ ‘Ocean boy💙📖’” siri chants as i groan once again, armin your timing could not be more impeccable!

“Hello?” I answer with a grumble as I hear him chuckle lightly. He’s actually making me feel better by just hearing his voice.

“Asleep, sweetheart?” I nod but then remember that he can’t actually see me so I just let a light ‘mhm’ out as I shift again. Me and Armin's late night calls last endless hours so I'll be here for a while.

“Well, I won't keep you up too long, just wanted to ask if I can come over right now?” a smile makes itself onto my face and i eagerly answer,

“Of course, you’re always welcome at any time, that’s kind of why you have my keys, idiot.” he laughs at my retort and hangs up. That was quick… too quick.

I was also kind of expecting a reason as to why he’s spending the night here but I guess I'll get that when he comes over.

——————-——————-——————-————-

The sunshine radiated bright light into my eyes, stingin it ever so slightly. I stretch a bit when I feel a body lying next to me. An ample of cologne fills my nose; ‘212 vip black extra’, I can recognise it from miles away. 

“Armin?” I mumble, still half asleep. 

“Yeah?” he groans when I move a minor step away, “no, please i am finally able to sleep, stay.” he pouts so I giggle then get back under the covers.

After some minutes passing I pry myself away as I replace my body with a pillow.

“I can notice the difference between a pillow and you, sweetheart.” he chuckles, still lethargic and I grin at his comment but let him sleep as I get to the kitchen to cook breakfast up.

“‘Forever and always💓💍’ facetime ‘forever and always💓💍’ facetime ‘forever and always💓💍’ facetime” my phone annotates what’s written on the screen and my face lit up almost instantly.

I answer and put the phone against a bowl so I can check on the pancakes. “Hey, beautiful.” I hear his voice say, already feeling the smirk forming on his face, because of my blush,  even from millions of kilometers away.

“Hey, baby.” I answer as I set the timer and take a piece of gum as I start leaving the kitchen to sit on the couch.

“How was the flight?” I ask randomly as I see him tidying up his bed so he can go to sleep.

“Energy-consuming but it went smoothly, want to say hi?” I nod rapidly as he chuckles.

“y’all, say hi to y/n.” He announces and I wave at ymir, pieck, Sasha and Connie, they all do the same whilst smiling kindly.

Sasha ( the lead singer) is nibbling on some chips whilst her laptop is open, some light noise is heard so i'm assuming she’s on netflix. Ymir (band leader and lead Guitarist) is on facetime with someone, probably historia, and she’s also making her bed for bed. Connie (rhythm Guitarist) has his head on Sasha's lap, watching whatever she’s watching to probably entertain himself, nothing more, it looks as if he’s bored though. Pieck (bassist) is on her guitar playing loosely on some strings - probably out of fatigueness.

“Hey girl.” Sasha greets and I blow her a kiss.

“Hi y/n.” ymir accosts then goes back to historia quickly.

“Love, how are you?” Pieck salutes with a smile and her accent brings happiness over me, finally I can hear my best friend talk to me again. She was never free and especially now with the tour but at least I got to hear her again.

“y/n! How have you been? I've missed you, y/n/n.” Connie welcomes with a rhapsodic tone, he even called me by my nickname, which hardly anyone does.

“Hey guys, I'm doing great and I've missed you so much more, I can't wait to celebrate your tour when you come home.” I told them, they all smiled at me and thanked me as eren got out of this room and to his. They’re in a hotel until he is able to actually start the tour, which should be in two days tops.

“I miss you already.” I flatter. He laughs and then tells me ‘I miss you too’ in addition to that he, and I quote, ‘can’t live without me for that long’.

“And here I am thinking I am the one who’s going to be clingy.” he rolls his eyes at my sassy comment and we both burst out laughing.

“Y’all are way too loud.” I hear Armin groan from behind me as I laugh at his comment. Looking back at Eren, I see his face drop, I don't understand why though.

“Look, y/n, i’ll talk to you in the morning.” he quickly states and i give him a weird look but comply.

“Oh, okay then, I lo-” he hung up. There has never been one call where we didn't end it with affection, with one too many i love you’s, with too many compliments, with too many hope your day is absolutely amazing’s… what’s wrong?

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Armin says and I smile at him.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” he chuckles as i see him making two cups of coffee.

“It’s fine, I can make it. I was going to but eren called, you can just go watch something if you want.” I say as I walk up to the kitchen, but the two cups was already smelling fantastic. The smell of strong coffee beans was immaculate and it made me feel warm.

“Here.” he hands me my cup and a quick kiss on the forehead before grabbing a fork and flipping the pancakes that I forgot about completely. That is exactly why I let Eren cook everyday.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry armin, I’m horrible at this cooking thing.” I apologize laughing lightly to not sound too serious.

“Don’t worry, I do it for Annie everyday. Got used to it, sweetheart.” I nod and smile as he drinks the coffee in his hand whilst mailing breakfast and I just check Instagram.

~Jeagerbomb~ is active.

Why would he do that? Wherefore would he lie to me like that? I don’t even get why he’s so mad either, why is he making a big deal out of literally nothing!

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s with the long face?” Armin asks as he slouches next to me.

“Eren is ignoring me, he’s clearly active yet he wouldn’t talk to me because he ‘wants to sleep’ but he’s awake and scrolling through instagram,” i take a deep breath and keep going, “this is exactly what i was afraid of. I hate that he can just turn off our call at any time and I can't disagree and then not knowing what he’s doing all alone. But when we’re together I can get it out of him, I can convince him to tell me why he’s mad then we’ll fix it.” 

“y/n, Eren won’t stay mad at you for long, he never can. In the morning call him and check if everything is alright but for now you can’t be upset the whole day.” he reassures and I nod quietly.

“Enough about my problems, I want to know why you called me in the middle of the night like that and then said that you were finally able to sleep?”

“Me and annie got into a huge fight.” he explained, fidgeting with his fingers that were on his lap, “i tried fixing it but she wouldn’t listen to me, she kept saying how i don’t love her anymore and that she feels me drifting apart…” he zoned out for a second probably remembering exactly what happened.

“She even accused me of cheating on her.” I could see the tears sliding down his check as he quickly wiped them. “I love her, y/n, I really do, I don't understand why she doesn't trust me. I have never given her a reason not to, I mean, did I do something?" 

Armin looks heartbroken and it kills me that he feels like he did something wrong. Annie might be feeling insecure but it doesn't make sense to just lash out on armin like that.

“Why does she think you’re cheating?”

“I came home late yesterday and she automatically assumed the worst, I don't follow her logic though, she’s been very insecure lately which is driving me crazy. I just want her to trust me, y/n.” Practically feeling the tears he was letting go of, I hugged him tightly hoping to make him feel only a bit of reassurance. 

“Armin, I hope you don't mind me asking but why did you come home late?” he shuffled in his seat and let go of me.

“I was looking for a gift for our 2 year anniversary coming up this Wednesday, I couldn't tell her though, I kept begging her to just have some trust in me. It hurt seeing how easily she thought I could cheat on her. I give Annie everything I have and can give her, I don't know how else to prove my love to her.”

“I know Armin, I know, it's okay. Annie isnt stupid, she knows you would never do that to her, just give her sometime.” he nods and we stay in that position. It’s relaxing. Knowing that he is here for me, and me for him.

We spent the whole day together in my house. We did all kinds of things, sang a bit, danced around, baked up some brownies, had too many energy drinks and tried to call Annie but she didn't answer.

Once it was 09:30 pm, Armin went into the shower and I was on my phone, waiting for him so we could go buy some things from the grocery shop.

Scrolling through instagram i saw an article concerning Eren, normally i hated these but it actually caught my attention; ‘Eren Jeager seen with co-star Pieck Finger’. I can almost hear my heart thumping inside of my throat. It burns, badly. That isn’t true, it can’t be, Eren loves me. My first instinct is to call him but that thought is forgotten when Armin comes out of the shower, asking for something. He was still in a towel, one that covers his waist and the other around his hair as he moves it throughout.

The veins in his arms protruded beneath his pale skin, he’s drying his hair with the towel, clasping and unclasping his hand as an indication of comfort as he slid the towel on his hair down and into the laundry bin. 

“y/n, where’s my shirt?” he asks whilst his eyes are darting around. I nuzzled my face into the soft pillow case, tear stained cheeks leaving wet smears on the fabric. 

“You’ll find it on the kitchen counter.'' I sniffle lightly and hope he doesn't notice my broken voice. It was late, almost 10:00 pm and I'm here; curled in a loose ball under a stack of velvety blankets breaking down. I pulled the t-shirt I'm wearing over my nose as I heard him mutter a ‘thank you’ then get out to get changed. 

Taking a deep inhale and drowning myself in the sweet scent of my boyfriend’s t-shirt, or atleast, I hope he’s still my boyfriend. The t-shirt was one that he said was his favourite, it’s scent drove me fanatical as I kept taking more of it in, hoping all my worries would just fade into it.

“Incoming call from ‘jaegerbomb’,Incoming call from ‘jaegerbomb’,Incoming call from ‘jaegerbomb’” 

Hesitantly, my fingers scanned the phone a couple of times before I answered.

“Hey, y/n'' I hear from the other side of the phone. His voice doesn’t sound too enthusiastic but he also didn't seem bothered. No emotion.

“Hey, Eren.” I answer back and the line goes dead silent. He doesn't talk for about a minute, why did he call if he was just going to breathe into the phone the whole time?

“Oi, y/n, I still can’t find my shirt.” Armin approaches and my eyes go wide at what he says. This may be totally normal because I understand what’s happening but eren on the other hand, may understand it in a different way.

“Oh, try the living room.” he nodded and strolled away. I can practically hear Eren trying to control his temper because of what he heard but I know my answer assured him to some extent. I mean, I wouldn't answer armin if i was actually cheating.

“y/n what’s armin doing at your place?” The vexation is visible in each syllable he pronounces.

“He got into a fight with Annie last night, decided to stay at my place till they’re fine again.” I elaborate with insureness in my voice. I'm trying to sound as confident as possible but my throat becomes too dry to form assertive words.

“Couldn’t he stay in reiner’s or even Mikasa’s?” The annoyance was quite conspicuous as he keeps complaining.

“Eren! I can't kick him out because you’re somehow jealous, he is our best friend and in need of a place to stay. What would you do if I kicked you out?”

“Not stay at Annie's…” he mumbles and that was the last straw for me. 

“Excuse me?” I semi-yell into the phone, “are you saying that I should kick him out? Eren, he trusts me enough to tell me about his problems and for me to cooperate, how dare you even say that about your childhood best friend. He has been there for you every step of the way and this is how you repay him? By being a jealous boyfriend when he’s hurting?” exasperation ran through my blood as i let it out, he is being so unreasonable and i will not stand by this behavior.

“y/n, calm down! I’m just saying that it’s weird that he came to you. I don't like the idea of this happening without your boyfriend supervising.”

“You don't trust me?”

“What? No that’s not what I'm saying, I trust you y/n, wholeheartedly.”

“However, you have the audacity to say that you need to supervise me and armin’s hangouts?”

“Don't be like that, I don't mean it that way. I trust both of you, nonetheless, it just scares me that I'm not there, I mean…” he stops for a few seconds and I somehow make out a sniffle, “baby, what if you fall for him again? I wouldn't blame you, he's everything I'm not but I just don't want you to go. Please y/n, I don't want you to leave me.” 

“Eren,” my tone immediately softens at his change, he’s feeling insecure?

“I love you, okay?”

“Okay…” 

“No, I mean it. I love you more than i love myself and any human on this earth, i love you so much eren and i would never trade this for anyone else. I promise I'm not going anywhere, baby.” it shattered me, the fact that i have to say this to remind him how in love with him i am. He’s my everything, I would never give that up for any other human.

“I love you, angel.”

“I love you more.”

——————-——————-——————-————-

After me and eren caught up on everything else, assured each other and talked over some stuff, we ended the call as he was getting called into rehearsals.

“Hey, y/n.” I hear Armin's soft voice speak from behind the door as he slowly comes in and I let him enter. He is fully dressed but his hair is still wet and it looks really cute on him.

When eren mentioned me falling for armin ‘again’ he meant when we were both best friends long ago. Five years ago, I had the biggest crush  on Armin, it was known. Everyone knew it, even he did but we never confessed to one another, too cowardly to do so. I know he used to like me back though. We joke about the situation now, a small laugh; yet, eren never got over it. He always took it quite personally because Armin is ‘everything he isn't’ in his eyes. He’s always been insecure about that but I thought he trusted me, I thought he would let go of these worries if it’s me we’re talking about. I figured out worries are worries and he’ll feel that way. The only thing I can do is assure him and help him.

“Yeah?” I answer as I reopen twitter to have a chortle before going to bed.

“I'm sorry, for everything. Being a burden on both you and eren, for what happened with Annie, with how I'm disappointing you guys and everyone else. I'm so sorry.” The break in his voice was sorrowful as his eyes diverted the gaze from me to anything else around the room.

“No, oh my God. Armin you aren't a burden and definitely disappointing anyone. Annie is mad, for an invalid reason, it’s fine. If you heard anything, which I'm guessing you did, eren was also just furious with an invalid reasoning. And to me you are nowhere near a burden or such. Don't doubt yourself, ever.”

“Thank you, y/n. Thank you for all of this, making me stay over and your constant affirmation.” I smile slightly at him and get out of bed to hug him. We stay in the position for what feels like hours, his hands on my waist, my arms slung around his neck.

When we pull apart he looks into my eyes for a few seconds, his ocean blue eyes glowing enchantingly. They were beautiful, trancing, and I couldn't stop myself from being so intrigued by the stories behind them.

Suddenly, I snap out of the stupor I was once in. quickly, i push him away as we both pant lightly, the air seemed to become limited in the room as we both gain back our consciousness.

“y/n-”

“Armin-uh. I think I'll go to bed early. If you can't find anything in the fridge you’re welcome to go to the hypermarket. Goodnight.” he looks at the floor quietly as he moves out of my room.

I'm screwed.

I can't believe we just had a moment. No, absolutely not, just two friends hugging, that’s all. Eren will despise me, how can I be such a hypocrite? I have to tell him, I just have to.

Never mind, I won't tell him, he doesn't need to know anyways.

Silent. The room was cleansed and cleaned top to bottom whilst I was asleep. The lights are renewed, I can smell pastries from downstairs and (this next one is a shock) no one is sleeping next to me.

“Armin?” I call out loudly yet no one answers.

I get up, rubbing my eyes before noticing the large cup of hot coffee on my nightstand. The steam flowing, making sure to inform me that it was just made and brought to me.

Taking the cup of coffee in my hand, I saunter down the stairs deciding to take a sip of the perfectly made coffee. He made it just right and the way I like it, but it scares me knowing that after what happened yesterday night he still did it for me. Is he catching feelings again?

“Sweetheart, hey.” I cringe slightly at the name and I can practically feel his heart race at my reaction. He’s right here in front of me, calling me sweetheart and cooking breakfast after what happened yesterday? Unacceptable.

“I mean-- y/n.” it’s no secret he’s mentally face palming himself right now but i honestly find it adorable that he did that by just seeing my reaction.

“y/n, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened yesterday but I know that you’re infuriated by it and now won't talk to me. You even hate ‘sweetheart’ and I've called you that since we were like what? 14? I just don't want things to get weird between us, you’re my best friend, eren is my literal brother and Annie is my girlfriend. I just hope you aren't mad at me. I swear I'm not going to try anything of any sort. I'm going to Mikasa and Historia's place after breakfast, just wanted to do something as a thank you before i leave.” he ranted and i giggles softly when he finished, he;s so flustered by the time he’s done i find it a miracle he remembered to breath.

“Armin, you can stay as long as you want, honestly, don't worry about what happened. In fact, nothing happened at all, we’re best friends and I don't want to lose that. The nickname is very much acceptable, don't worry, I know you’re used to it.” he smiled and nodded then pulled me into a mug as i hugged back as the coffee mug in my hand jiggled.

We lug back from each other and beam at one another. Nothing wrong happened yesterday, why am I so worried?

——————-——————-——————-————-

“How was your day, angel?” Eren's deep voice filled my ear as I held the phone in a hand, the other picking out jewelry.

“Uneventful, me and Armin just spent the day together, Annie isn't answering him and he’s too scared to actually go there in case she kicks him out again or, worse,  breaks up with him.”

“I feel bad for him, I mean he didn't do anything really, maybe he should really go and test his luck.”

“Yeah, I think that’s the best option right now. He's trying to get ready, asked for a couple of your rings ‘cause he knows it’s something she likes.” he chuckles on the other end as a light laughter comes over me.

“Really want to swoon her over.”  he adds

“Found it!” i exclaimed as i found the set of rings that were just perfect for armin, they fit him perfectly and his style too, “Okay, let’s find him now.”

“Armin?” he pops into my room within a second with a tux put on (it looked really nice, may i add), he really cleaned up well; yet, his hair is still a mess. He can't do anything about his hair even if he tries.

“Here it is.” I call and he moves over to me as he takes the box with the set in it. He tries to pu it on but looks at me with wide eyes,

“What?”

“How do you even put all that on? That’s going to look horrible.”

“Are you doubting my skills, Arlert?” I test and eren laughs from the other side.

“Is that a challenge, jaeger? Okay then, I'll prove you both wrong.” they both chuckle and i take armin’s hand in mine, starting to move around the rings. It took three minutes but I did it, I got the best combination and how to put it. He looked great in my opinion.

“Woah, y/n, I seriously didn't give you enough credit.” Armin lets out a breath and I smile at his compliment.

“Okay time to send to eren!” I take my phone off of the table that has all of our jewelry on it then snap him a picture.

“You've done well, pretty girl.” he flatters once again and I smirk proudly.

“See? I told you guys.” Armin nods as eren hums and we both burst out in laughter suddenly.

“Okay, it’s getting late. Thank you for everything y/n, I couldn't have done any of this without you, not to mention I'd probably be homeless.” I nod and smile at him as he leaves the house. 

Everything, somehow, worked out in the end.

“Baby?”

“Yeah…” i answer, putting away the rest of the jewelry.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[geminimoonbeamx]

Wait a life time/ Chris Beck x Plus size reader

A/N: Alright ya’ll so I’m feeling veeeery fall today an I needed to get my fix. And what better better way to get my fix then to write a little College!Chris Beck one shot?

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Drug use(they’re smoking a joint ya’ll! Hide your kids, hide your wife) An overwhelming amount of fluff. Maybe some making out? You know aint no one can resist them lips. Oh and a few little spoilers from the new season of Stranger Things!

Summary: You make the ultimate sacrifice and wait for Chris before starting the second season of you guys’ favorite show.

💫💫💫💫💫

It’s Friday night- and you feel like you’d been waiting for this moment your whole life. Your lectures had felt extra long today, you’d listened to the Professors drone on with an antsy mind. Your sixty minute classes felt like they’d lasted ages. You cautiously avoided any of your social media accounts, knowing that the internet was no doubt a buzz with spoilers. It didn’t help that everyone seemed to be heckling you.

“You haven’t started it yet? I figured you would have started binging last night right at midnig-” Cassie, your best friend addresses you, her voice shocked as you two had taken a caffeine break at the Starbucks on campus.

“No, not yet” You’d shushed her as you sipped on your Venti iced white chocolate mocha.

“Waiting for Beck?” She guessed, her eyes knowing as she gazed at you over the top of her open laptop.

“Yup” You popped the p.

The next harassment came from your second best friend, Erin.

“What do you mean you haven’t started season two yet” She’d hissed at you as the two of you sat in the library and you rolled your eyes.

“Obviously I mean exactly what I said- I haven’t started it”

“Oh my god, it’s so good already. I’ve been watching it all day on my phone. You’re not going to believe what crazy shits going dow-” You cut the curly haired girl off with a glare.

“Stop! You treacherous cow” you shoot at her and she responds with just a cackle

“Whatever, you keep waiting on Dr. Dork…tell me when you get to episode five, I need some one to express all of my feeeeels to!” She’d always been extremely immature…and she was studying to be a Neurosurgeon one day!

When you’d finally gotten to your little apartment, you’d quickly kicked off your clothes, letting yourself loose from the imprisonment of society, and pulled a pair of stretchy black leggings over your wide hips before Shrugging into your shirt that reads ‘Yeezus is a Gemini’ in bold lettering.

You take a peek at the clock on the stove. It’s only 5:30, Chris wont even be out of class for even an hour so you decide you might as well make dinner to try and pass the time…

Would he even know if you started it? You could just watch the first episode. Then you’d wait for him. What would that hurt?

No! Your brain instantly cuts you off, recalling the time you’d went on in Game of Thrones without him and the huge fight that had ensued. That’s what happens when two total TV nerds get together. Fights about “how could you watch it without me, I trusted you!”

So you sigh and start cutting up chicken breast instead.

Tick- tock.

When the front door handle finally jiggles, you cant help but grin happily, not only because you were going to get to watch your show, but because your boy was home. You guys were still very much in that honeymoon stage, and being without him for 12 hours, both of you full time students with gruelingly long work days, killed you.

“Hey” Chris beams at you as he enters. He looks tired, med-school really is a ball buster. His crisp white lab jacket is a stark contrast to his tired eyes, droopy eyes and fluffy tawny hair.

“Hi, baby” You give the rainbow vegetables a final toss in the pan before turning off the burner and making your way across the short distance to reach him, you reach up, pressing a kiss to his ever rosy, plump lips.

It’s lame, super lame, but you crave them all the time. The taste of his breath, the way his hand always cups the side of your neck; his thumb rubbing little circles in its wake. “'missed you”

He chuckles into the kiss “I missed you too” he’ll never get over how receptive you are to him. He’d never really been a lady killer so to say, and yet you always treated him like he was something liken to Brad Pitt or something. You really knew how to boost a mans ego, make him feel special.

Even when he had been elbow deep in cadavers all day.

“It smells good” Chris notes when the two of you separate. You know he’s always starving when he get home- hadn’t really eaten in hours.

“I made that fajita stir fry you like…and I may or may not be baking slutty brownies” you give him a wink as you walk back to the kitchen, an extra sway in your step and he groans.

How?

How the fuck had he scored so immensely?

“I love you”

It’s dead serious and it makes you throw your head back and laugh. He was sooo easy to please.

“Yeah, yeah you big sap I love you too. Go get changed so we can start our show! I’ve been dying all day!” You urge him, pointing the spatula at him.

“Yes ma'am” he agrees, before he slips into your room. He’s talking to you about his day through the open door as he changes. About how the internship he was sure he was going to get and about how his dick wad of a roommate had left all of his mail under a laundry basket so he was going to have to resend his credentials.

You gnaw at your lip at that. You and Chris had only been together for five or so months- but it had been the most intense five months of your life. He was your first real, serious relation ship and you couldn’t deny the fact that you were totally Gaga about the man. Plus- even though you’d only been dating, offically, for five months you’d known him since freshman year.

And you’d been thinking about asking him to move in with you for weeks- months. He practically already lived with you, he was almost constantly at your place. Most of his clothes were here, all of his text books. His NASA magazines… All that was left was for you to ask him.

You didn’t know why it was so daunting.

He looks lighter when he comes back out in a pair off loose, low hanging sweats and a sweater that had Rick and Morty printed infront of a galaxy on it. His hair, if possible, is even more mused: sticking up in all directions. He’s deftly pinching a nearly completed spliff in his fingers, rolling it with surgical precision.

He really did roll the BEST joints. And was one of the biggest pot heads you’d ever met, as most college students are.

He raved and ranted about the vast medical advantages of marijuana- not as much as he did about the wonders of space, but still. He walks out on the porch because unfortunately your building managers were hard asses and you couldn’t get caught hot boxing the place.

You dish up two piping hot, steaming plates and place them on the coffee table before joining him.

It’s late October in Connecticut and the evening air has a bitter bite to it. The smoke billows out of Chris mouth as he exhales and it’s almost hypnotic to watch.

He notices your staring and passes you the joint, thinking that was what you wanted. You take it without correcting him and inhale then fragrant smoke.

“How was your day?” His big blue eyes gaze down at you and you shrug.

“Eh. Non-eventful. I mean other then the fact that I’ve been dodging spoilers from all angles and dying to see Eleven with hair” you crack and he chuckles.

“Thanks for waiting for me. I owe you one”

“No, it’s our show. I wouldn’t start without you…especially after last time” you poke at him about his little Game of Thrones break down and he shakes his head at your consistent teasing. It would be mean, except for it always comes with you winding your arms around his middle. That and the fact that he so happens to be a total smart ass himself.

You pull away from him and glance upwards when he doesn’t reply “What?”

He just puts the joint on the rail and cups your face with both of his hands, squeezing at your round cheeks as he presses his forehead against yours wordlessly.

Beck gets affectionate when he’s stoned.

The moment is broken soon after by the beeping of the oven: signaling that your brownies are done.

“The brownies” you wiggle out of his grasp and he watches your back with a dazed look, putting out the spliff and going to the couch to flip on Netflix and get your show ready.

The rest of the night is spent with the two of you cuddled under fluffy blankets with full stomachs; yelling, laughing and crying as you binge the entire second season of Steanger Things in one sitting.

——————

Okay you guys this is pure fluff. I’m maybe thinking about doing a series of little Beck one shots like this? Would you guys be into that? Lemme know if you guys need more of this soft space boi in your lives😂💘

[kwritingdelight]

// HOME

Paring: Mingyu - You Summary: Mingyu loses his best friend after she goes away for college but years later anyting can happen TW: Smoking, swearing, suggestive

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked me, his eyes that were always so full of life we now filled with concern, worrying about what was about to happen, almost as if we went through with it, he would lose me, I would be gone. “Don’t you want to Mingyu?” I look at him trying as hard as I can to figure out what’s going through his mind, I never thought a guy would think twice about having sex with a girl; and we knew it was going to happen, we’ve been friends ever sincce I can remember and I just know it’s right with him, he knows me better than anyone else “Fuck, of course I want to” He scans my body quickly almost as if he didn’t want me to notice, I don’t understand how can he be so embarrassed if he knows me so well, yes this is the first time I’m naked in front of him but I think he has seen me naked before, emotionally, really the only way that counts “I just don’t want you to regret it” He continues leaning in “I trust you” I press a soft kiss to his lips, so many years of friendship and I still had new things to discover about him, I never thought our lips would get to know each other, I never thought our skin would be connected like this, like one and he feels just right, his scent is all over me and it feels like home “Go on with it kid” We both laugh.

And he did, we did it, my first time with my best friend and well Kim Mingyu was right, his eyes, the look on his face, the thought he tried so hard to push away, they all told the truth, after that I was gone.

So I put my finger down, the question was ‘Never have I ever had sex with my best friend’ I’m with my roommates drinking on a girls night in, wearing our pijamas drinking in our living room listening to the same playlist as always. They know everything about him “Kim Mingyu, I love you” Lisa teases me loudly “Kim Mingyu, fuck me again” Pinky says even louder causing me to cover my face laughing “But seriously, he’s really hot” Jennie says looking at her phone, she shows us what she’es looking at, his instagram, ever since I showed them his profile, they all followed him and he followed them back because of the countless pictures we have together I suppose “He wasn’t that hot back then” They all disagree, since they have stalked him endlessly, thinking about it Mingyu was alwawys hot but I never thought of him that way, he was more than the tallest guy in out class that had the nicest smile in town, he was my best friend even before everyone started noticing those details about him.

As I lay in bed I can’t stop thinking about him, and our small last encounter, I feel like I got the free trial but I never got to properly experience it, we never had the chance and I think about that smile, out hands together, his lips going through every inch of my body, curiosity filling us, getting to know each other all over again, his eyes scanning me carefully, holding to this moment forever, everything is spinning and I don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol or Mingyu.

I walk to my kitchen hearing the voices of the girls making breakfast “Good morning” I cover my ears with frustration, I’ve been hungover before but everytime feels as annoying as the first time “Your phone has been ringing non-stop by the way” Lisa points to the living room table, I walk over and pick it up ‘Kim Mingyu’ is the first thing I read, I feel my stomach turn and I run to the bathroom to throw up, when I walk back my friends are waiting for me sitting on the couch, sympathetic looks lay on their faces, I sit down between Lisa and Jennie “What do you think he wants?” Lisa asks me patting my back softly, with a sigh I take my phone from Jennie’s hand and read my notifications,17 missed cals and 12 new messagegs, I scroll up to read everything from the beggining, why now? Why would he try contacting me today? I expect to find his first message but I see something else instead “Fuck, did I text him last night?” I drop my phone on the table “I can’t do it- I can’t read it” Pinky stands up and takes my phone “Should I read it out loud?” I nod my head and Lisa takes my hand “Am I over reacting?” I look at them “Hey this is Mingyu, the Kim Mingyu that took your virginity and you never saw again, of course you’re not over reacting” Jennie assures me and Pinky nods before reading “You texted him ‘Hey’ ‘Hey’ he replied then you texted him ‘How have you been’ he didn’t reply ‘Kim’ ‘Mingyu’ ‘Can I call you’ ‘Answer my calls’ ‘Answer god dammit’“ I cover my face with both of my hands shaking my head “He then replied ‘Okay, I’ll do it’ ‘You’re right’ ‘I’m sorry’ ‘I really am sorry too’“ My head instantly snaps to look at her “ ‘I should’ve known you felt like that’ ‘I never thought about your side of the story’ ‘And you’re right’ This morning he texted ‘Hey’ ‘Hello’ ‘You up?’ ‘Answer’ ‘Answer my calls’ And that’s it” Lisa and Jennie are both looking at me “What the fuck?” Pinky kneels in front of me “Try to remember god dammit” We are interrupted by my phone ringing “It’s him” She hands me my phone “Speaker, speaker” Lisa says hitting my arm “Should I even answer?” How did I get to this point where I’m not even sure if I should answer my best friend’s calls, I don’t even have the guts to talk to him, I slide my fingers shutting my brain off “Hey” I say, not sure about how I found my voice “Finally there you are” He pauses for a bit “Listen I’m going to be honest, I’m not sure about what happened yesterday, I was drunk and I don’t really remember what we talked about but I woke up on a train and I’m here” “Here where? Here as in ‘I’m here for you’ or here as in my city?” I don’t think I’ve ever been so afraid to hear an answer “Your city” My voice is gone “I mentioned a train, remember?” He laughss softly “Hello?” I look at the girls, I cant speak, I feel like I can’t even breathe properly, he hangs up after a bit because of the silence, we stay still looking at each other for a moment until my phone interrupts us again ‘I’m sorry, it was a drunken mistake, I’ll catch the next train home’ I quickly open the uber application on my phone and type in the train station’s adress and my apartment’s, I send him the screenshot ‘Please don’t come over’ Lisa and Pinky look at my phone and then at me ‘See you in a bit’ he texts back “You need to shower now” Jennie stands up pulling me up with her “We’ll clean around” She continues

When I walk out of the shower our apartment is cleaner than ever, there’s even a jar with flowers on the table, I walk into my room and I find an outfit they picked out for me resting on my bed, sweatpants and a black croptop, I get dressed and walk out, they are waiting for me wearing different clothes already. Jennie pats the stop next to her on the couch for me to sit down, she starts applying make up to my face “He’s going to be here on 5″ Pinky says looking at my phone, Jennie keeps my make up simple BB cream, mascara and a bit of bronzer, Lisa walks into the kitchen and continues cooking the breakfast we never got to eat “Do I look okay?” I ask them when we are all together in the kitchen “You look pretty without trying to look nice, does that make any sense?” Lisa assures me, our apartment’s phone rings, Pinky answers the call “Yes, please let him in.” I look at them anxiously “What am I supposed to say?” I ask them “Oh- you have to keep it simple, you, me in my bedroom, 15 minutes and you can still catch the next train home” Pinky says, we all start laughing “Kim Mingyu fuck me again” Jennie says loudly “Kim Mingyu harder” Lisa says louder, I know they are doing it to make me feel relaxed “Kim Mingyu-” Pinky is cut of by a knock on our door, we all turn red and Pinky smacks my arm gesturing me to leave the room, I can’t really move so Lisa pushes me out. As I touch the door knob I know I’m not ready for what’s next, I’m not ready to see his face but I open the door and there he is with a small bagpack on his shoulder and looking as handsome as ever, he looks so different but I can still see my bestfriend, we look at each other for a couple of endless seconds and I can’t help but to throw myself at his arms. I’m not sure who’s hugging the other tighter but for the first time in years I feel at home, I feel a huge knot on my throat and tears forming in my eyes, we don’t let go, it feels like we don’t even breathe, he runs a hand through my hair, I feel so relaxed a laugh escapes my lips and suddenly we are but laughing softly, we let go and he reaches to my face to wipe my tears “Look at you missing me this much” I smack his arm and gesture him to walk in “You could’ve at least dressed up for me kid” He jokes walking in “Who are you calling kid? I’m older than you” I close the door “You can leave your stuff in my room but let me introduce you first” We walk into the kitchen, the three girls are standing side by side looking at us, not even blinking “Girls, this is Mingyu” I point at Mingyu “Mingyu, Jennie, Lisa and Pinky” I point at them “Lets see, QueenJennie, Laleesa and Pinkyy” He says pointing at each one of them saying their instagram usernames, the girls break laughing and he laughs too “My room is the last one to the right.” And he goes, I runt o my friends, we jump up and down quietly “He’s so hot” Pinky says making Lisa and Jennie nod with excitement, Mingyu walks in and looks at us trying to figure out what we were just doing, we look at him “Want some pancakes?” Jennie asks him with a smile

“Go to sleep Mingyu” I tell him, we are watching TV “I haven’t seen you in ages, I’m not going to sleep” I push him off the couch “We are going out tonight, you need to rest” He smiles walking to my room and just when he’s about to enter he shakes his head smiling at me, we wait for a bit before talking about him but at the end we just decide do it on the balcony, we sit down on our small couches, sharing a cigarette “He has a great smile” Lisa says “He always looks like he’s about to laugh I tell them quietly “For some reason I feel like time never went by, as if the lst time I saw him was yesterday” I admit “Like he fucked you yesterday?” Pinky teases me again, I roll my eyes at her laughing, Jennie yawns and we all decide to take a nap, they go inside but I say for a moment trying to let it all sink in but my brain is just too tired, I decide to sleep on the couch cause I’m not sure if I could slep being so close to him, I wrap myslf ina blanket and close my eyes, just like yesterday all I can se is him, his eyes looking at me, his long eyelashes, him smiling at me, I ccan almost hear his laugh, unlike yesterday I feel relaxed by the though of him, my eyes feel heavier, my breathing is steadier and I feel a tap on my shoulder “Hey” I open my eyes and there he is, his eyes looking at me, his smile, he is really here “What are you doing here?” He asks me “I’m about to go for a run” I say with a sarcastic tone, he pulls me up from the couch “Go to your room, I’ll sleep here” He sits down on the couch and takes the blanket away form me “You do know how tall you are right? Look at the size of the couch, just go to my room” He just looks at me “I’ll sleep with Lisa” I start to walk down our small hallway to her room and he immediatly stands up, he grabs my shoulders and leads me to my room “Hey it’s me, the guy who threw uo on your birthday dress when we were 8″ I look up at him and chuckle, the blinds are closed and my room gets darker when we close the door, I walk to my bed knowing my room perfectly and he follows me.

When we lay down, we are facing different sides, our backs touching, our breathing on sync, after a moment I feel his body move, he rolls and without a warning his arm clungs to my waist and he pulls me to him, he rests his head on the crook of my neck I can hear his breathing “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it” He says quietly, and I just wonder how did wwe get here, sleeping like this was notmal for us, even a daily activity and now he’s apologizing, I reach for his handand give it a squeeze to let him know it’s alright, before I can remove it he interwines our fingers together, everything feels right on place, our bodies fit perfectly together even though he’s the tallest person I know and I’m incredbly short, I let out a breat I didn’t know I’ve been holding for years “I wish our bodies could be closer” I admit “Nothing can make up for all those years right?” He says softly to my ear and I now there’s a way to make up for all that time we missed “Not even this” He continues, we stay silent for a bit and again I feel my eyes heavier “I just missed you so much” He says, I believe he thinks I’m asleep so I let myself go, I drift away in the only place I could, in his arms I am at home.

I open my eyes wondering if everything was real, I can only think about his face, I look around and I’m all alone in my bed, his scent surrounding me, I walk out of my room and there he is sitting on my couch making a phonecall, I could get used to that view, Jennie and Lisa are sitting with him “Our sleeping beauty” Lisa says and they all look at me but I only look at him, I hold his gaze for a moment, he smiles and keeps talking on the phone “Come” Jennie says and I sit on her lap hugging her “Mingyu is buying us pizza” Lisa tells me “He lost a bet” Jennie explains “What kind of bet?” They look at each other smiling “Just some bet” Jennie says “What are you talking about?” Mingyu asks us hanging up “The bet” Lisa tells him, his cheeks get flushed “I lost a bet, I’m buying pizza” He nods gesturing to his phone “Can yo uplease be our new roommate?” Pinky asks him walking in “You do know you’re seating on the wrong lap right?” Jennie whispers on my ear and we both laugh.

The whole afternoon we eat pizza, listening to music and getting ready to go out, mingyu tells them everything about all the times I dragged him to Sephora using his hand to try different types of lipstick and eye shadow, he even tells them about how he convinced me to buy a lipstick that is now my favorite. All the time he steals glances at me that I always seem to find, the girls get a long perfectly with him and I just wonder what it would be like to have him around all the time, that’s someghint I could never grow tired of, just like I could never get tired of looking at his eyes, that smile after his terrible jokes and I think about how it would feel like to kiss him again, I wonder if he feels the same way or if I’m still just his best friend, I wonder if he missed me the same way I missed him, if he could ever grow tired of me if he was part of my new life. By the time we are done getting ready I’m wearing an over sized white t-shirt with black stripes and black shorts that are just there for comfort because the shirt fits me like a dress, Mingyu is wearing jeans, a red t-shirt and a black jacket he stole from his new roomate Wonwoo, he shows us pictures of the guy and the girls go crazy, he promises to bring him by soon, they all offer their beds for Wonwoo to sleep in, Mingyu’s eyes light up when he speaks about him just the same way I know mines to when I talk about my roommates and I’m so glad he has someone to rely on.

The girls walk quicly through the lobby since our uber is already here, we followe them, his arms rests on my shoulder “You look great by the way” He tells me “You too” I pat his chest twice “You changed a lot, you’re not that cute girl anymore” I look at him curious about what he’s going to say next “Pardon my french but you’re now hot kid” He avoids my gaze and I’m glad cause I feel my cheeks getting flushed “And you’re a tree now” He smiles at me. Mingyu insists on taking the co pilot seat, we sing the whole ride to Pinky’s friend’s apartment, the party is on a gorgeous rooftop and even though we drank a lot yesterday, that’s exactly what we are doing tonight, the girls insist on taking a round of shots to honor our friendship, we even do a round on Wonwoo’s honor ‘Our future boyfriend’ they chant, we dance and everyone gets a long perfectly with Mingyu, a group of guys beg him to move here and one of them tell him one of his friends wants to get with him, a gorgeous girl as tall as him with long hair and the brightest smile ever, before I can even decide hwo to feel about it he denies the offer kindly, after that I become aware about how many girls have their eyes on him, one even walks over and hands him a shot, he accepts it “Here’s looking at you kid” He tells me before gulping it down, the girl gets the clue and walks away but I’m not really sure what the clue means. The music sounds louder, the lights seem too brigh, my thoughts aren’t clear, I can’t hear them, I can’t see them and the alcohol isn’t helping “Be right back” I tell my friends, I head for the bathroom but I find a door that leads to a staircase, i make sure nobody is looking and I enter, I find another rooftop but this one is still under construction, it’s quiet even though I can still hear the music, the city has never looked brighter in my eyes, I light up a cigarette and finally breathe, looking at the city I feel at home for the first time even though it has been my home for years now and I know the reason, everywhere I go, no matter where I am, it’s not home if he’s not there with me, how can it be that someone is your home, how can he have that big of an impact in me.

“Are you smoking?” I turn around and see Mingyu walking in my direction neartly tripping with every step because of all the tools of the construction “Be careful” I know him, he’s not that drunk, he’s just tipsy, as tipsy as I am “I really like this song” I tell him, it’s ‘Future’ by Jay Park, he takes the cigarette from my hand and throws it away “Don’t” He tells me, I just look at him “Please don’t smoke” We are stanfing face to face and the view is amazing but I just look at him and he didn’t even glance once “I’m having a great time here” He admits “Everyone is crazy about you” I smile at him feeling glad hr fits in so well in my new life, it makes me feel like there’s an open door, like he could walk right it and it would work “Well I’m crazy about you” He steps in getting closer to me, eliminating our small distance “I can’t be far from you again” He gets closer again “Then don’t” I tell him standing still “Don’t leave” I look at him straight in the eyes “I won’t” He leans in, we are face to face, his eyes travel to my lips and then back to my eyes “I won’t leave you again” He assures me, we both know that isn’t true, we don’t move, not even an inch until he presses his forehead against mine, his rubs his nose into mine, his hands travel to cup my chek, the song fits perfectly, slow as our movements, I wrap my arms around his waist trying to find a way to get closer to him “Baby, Pinky is looking f-” We hear Lisa’s voice interrupted once she spotted us knowing what a terrible mistake she just made, he removes his hand from my cheek “I’ll be down in a second” I can tell from far away how embarrassed she is, she walks away “We should go back down stairs” I tell him “We should get back to you place” And I nod. I just want to be with him, we don’t need the crowd down stairs, we just need ourselves, he takes his phone out of his pocket and reaches for my hand “We should go, the uber will arrie soom” We let evryone know we are going and Lisa apologizes when I hug her.

The whole ride I’m wrapped around him, he rests his hand on my leg and his free arm rests on my shoulder, I rest my head on his chest, I don’t know what’s going to happen but every possibility goes around my head and I feel anxious at the thought of each and every one of them, he kisses my forehead as if he knew what was going through my mind and I instantly feel better. When we get to my place I walk around with the lights off, my hands are shaking, my legs are shaking so bad I don’t know how I am walking, we get to my room and I sit on my bed “You need to remove your make up” He tells me, I look at him with a confused expression “You always talked non stop about how bad it was to sleep with make up on, go on” I walk to my bathroom to do as I’m told and I can’t believe he still remembers that, I also remember everything he once said to me so it makes sense but actually hearing it out loud makes it real. I walk back and he’s already laying in bed, I join him facing him and even though I can barely see a thing I feel as if I was looking at him, my hand goes to cup his cheek and I start draking circles with my thumb, his hand travels to my back and I’m not sure if I want to kiss him or cry, he leans in so our foreheads are touching “We should sleep” I say quietly “We should” He replies pulling me closer to him “We need to get some rest” He nods his head softly, his nose caressing my cheek, he moves his head to a position where our lips are almost touching, I knew this was going to happen, I knew it from the moment he told me he was here, i just can’t help myself around him, all those years away from home I forgot about a lot of people but not about him, never about him, distance only made me want him more, hunger growing evry second “Ming-” I start to say but I’m cut of by his lips on mine, slow and steady, he kisses me with patience like we have all the time in the world, his hand pulls my back prssing me against him but we can’t get any closer, I don’t understand how can he be so calm, I try to keep up to his rhythm but I just can’t, my hands travel to his hair pulling it, he moans a little into my mouthand I pull away to bite his lip, he moans a little louder and just by the sound of him I think I could too, he gets on top of me and I finally get what I want, his kisses are deeper, hungrier, and he suddenly pulls away to look at me “Don’t you get it, it has always been you” And I feel the same way.

It took me so long to write this but it’s finally here, I hope you enjoy it and if you have any other requests let me know

Funny story my computer ran out of battery when I was about to post this so we almost lost this story, thank god it didn’t get deleted!!

[booksbroadwaybbc]

I know I have the potential to be great, and I choose the path of the weak every time. via /r/selfimprovement

I know I have the potential to be great, and I choose the path of the weak every time.

Im so shitty. I dont even know why im writing this. Honestly I see other people post and I wonder if this actually helps. I'm at a point where If there's even a chance it could help, I should try it. Im 29, skinny black guy. I literally weigh about 130 lbs. Live with a roommate and brother. Other brother moving here in bout a week. Im older than all of them. Somehow I've got to this point in my life dropping out of every school endeavor i ever embarked on. Dropped out of High School, got my GED got into college then dropped out of that. Was too busy smoking weed, playing fighting games...just being a fool. Never been in a serious relationship at any point in my life. My love-life is non-existent. My only working background is in grocery stores and call center. I legitimately want to just stop everything. If I have to take calls for another few months that really might be it for me. I'm at the complete end of my lane. Im not here to discuss where my thoughts have gone, but I know for certain I cant keep doing this type of work for the rest of my life...I don't think I'll last to the middle of 2019 before I quit and look for another job. Speaking of that, my last 5 years of work history is just me bouncing between jobs. I got a job at software company doing customer support, but i threw that away too. They wanted to send me to Ireland, a real chance to start over and for some reason i threw it away. I just feel inadequate as hell in comparison to my brothers (one who has graduated college, the other who is going to Lincoln Tech now). I don't have problems talking to women casually, but I dont have it in me to discuss anything romantic with a woman. I wouldn't date me. If I was a woman I wouldn't even talk to me lol, let alone date me. I see my laziness, my apathy, my lack of empathy toward other people, and I know it's' shitty. I hate it, I hate myself and I absolutely must improve. I know that I can, when I actually put my mind to something I excel.

But you know what I hate more than anything? People who look for sympathy, people who want others to feel bad for them, and worst of all people who don't fucking work. So as I make this post, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. If anything insult me, because well thats what I deserve and probably what I would do to someone else.

So since im literally at the end of my fucking rope, I've been trying to rewrite my life as hard as possible. Dedicating literally every minute of every day to improvement. Literally every --single---minute of every ---single--- day. As i write this now im at work, im doing quite a few things inbetween calls, and decided to visit this reddit because I made this account and subscribed to it a few weeks ago.

I probably sound like an idiot going into detail on this, but as embarrassing as it is I will. I made a plan for myself for the next 5 years. The plan includes my goals and ways to achieve them day by day. It also includes checkpoints every so often for me to check In and make sure im actually focusing on my goals. I need these checkpoints because in the past when I tried to do things like this I would lose focus eventually and fall into loads of weed use and alcohol abuse. My goals are listed below in no particular order:

Improve my overall Health - this multi-part goal. It includes both physical and mental health. I weigh 130 lbs pretty much on the dot. I'm not sure what my ideal weight would be (I don't know how I'd look at lets say 170 lbs for me to call that my ideal weight), but the first milestone is 150lbs. I want to hit this in 6 months, or atleast check in at that time. In terms of how I plan to do that, I've detailed a complete workout regime for me. Of course, I could go into detail on that, but the most important step, more important than working out is just eating more. The hardest part of course is always sticking to the regime, but atleast i've wrote down what I need to do. I don't know why but for some reason I just have trouble getting myself to eat. Even when i'm hungry, i'll smoke or go for a walk or go to sleep or just game - I'll do anything but eat. As of today, I'm changing that. For my mental health, I plan to read recreationally more especially when on public transit which Im on for about 2 hours a day. Why reading? I need to stay away from my phone. I spend so much time on discord, losing myself in non-stop content online through youtube or twitch or whatever. I need to get back in touch with me, and not be scared to be in my own thoughts. As a kid i use to read a lot, I was a creative kid. I think somewhere in the weed use I lost that, I want it back. After doing some research I've also started journalling. I Journal twice a day, once in the morning once at night. I try to spend 30 minutes a day total (15 minutes per night/day) writing down my thoughts from the previous day and goals for that day in the morning, and what I actually accomplished and thoughts for the day that night. After reading what I've wrote for just a few days, turns out I'm actually a very bitter person. Maybe not bitter, but definitely angry and intense. I'm also trying to meditate, but Im not really good at this. What I do is just sit down in my room, light a candle, make some tea, close my eyes and think for 10 or so minutes. Any thought that comes in I try to analyze where it came from and if it's a negative thought or stemming from a negative. Im not good at this yet honestly. Its important to know these things aren't something I want to add in only for a limited time. I think I need to do this for the rest of my life, otherwise I spiral fast. My mom has suggested therapy but, I completely refuse. If I can't fix myself I won't get fixed. I'm not scared to ask for help, but therapy is out of the question until I've done absolutely everything I can to fix myself.

Develop a Skill. Particularly I want to program. I've taught myself abit of HTML, CSS, and Javascript. Honestly I'm a complete beginner, but I've dabbled abit. I've made steps to already begin teaching myself in my routine. I've been using codeacademy pro for about a month now and I'm working on deploying my own site (my first project will just be my resume on a responsive one page site, got the idea from a friend). This comes from, I have to develop some type of skill in order to move out of Customer Service. I don't know what else to even do, though IT support comes to mind but I don't want to support anymore I want to create and develop. I'm not trying to avoid work, I just want to avoid working with the general public, and I want to avoid my job being to educate others or fix mistakes they've made. Even though I think that still happens in development, I atleast want a career that pushes me mentally and forces me to improve my skillset in order to stay relevant. Most importantly, I want a job I can be proud of. A job that I myself can be proud of. Even though Customer Service/Call Centers are important for alot of companies, I cannot stand this line of work. It is so mind numbingly tedious and repetitive, and I feel like I am wasting my life and my potential handling these minor inquiries when I know I can use my mind to accomplish and work on something much greater. I don't care how arrogant or fucked up it sounds. It's not that I think i'm better than anyone, I just KNOW that i can achieve more than this. I know that im here because of how shitty of a human i've been. I'm tired of it, I have to change it.

Learn another language. The only other language I've had real interest in is Japanese. Honestly I've been at odds even with myself on this for a long time. Is it bad that I enjoy that type of culture? I'm not trying to be a "weeb" or just say it to sound cool. I've spent time learning to recognize some hiragana/katakana just on my own in the past. I don't think it's a perfect culture or anything, but its the only one that legitimate has always interested me for as long as I can remember. So i've decided to pursue it and fuck it, if I look stupid or like a weeb or whatever I guess I just have to accept that. Again I have my own routine I've detailed for myself for learning, and I have a few people I can actually practice with. I somehow got a friend of mine a job in Japan as a english teacher...but I havent done anything myself to move toward that and I know god damn well I could.

I want to become better at interacting with people. Last few months I've lost myself in just complete self indulgence. I won't go super into detail, but I think we all know what this means. Drug use, alcohol use, long nights on the internet avoiding sleep exploring the most degenerate shit man. The worst is after nights like that you can't look people in the eye, or have normal conversations. It just eats at you knowing youre not only wasting time but spending it on something so shitty and useless. Putting time off with family/friends to stay at home and waste time, I won't do shit like this anymore. When you fall into a rut like this, or whatever it is, all your relationships around you start to crumble. Then I wonder why I havent been in a relationship, lol. Well im done and hopefully by writing this It gives me strength to not fall back into that dark place and keep me on the right path. I will show I can support my family and I can receive their support as well. It will take time to repair these relationships, but If i dont start now I feel like they really will crumble forever.

This is basically my current mental state. I don't know if this even fits this subreddit but I hope it does and if not feel free to inform me. The purpose of this is to show that, I am on the path to self improvement, its all I care about right now. Being better than I've been in the past month. Better than I was yesterday, because if I dont change my life now I'm legitimately scared what I will do or where I will be 5 years from now. If you actually read all this, thanks. If you have any thoughts, please let me know. If I sound stupid, let me know. If I sound like all im doing is crying and complaining, please inform me. You have any videos I can watch on improvement, including mentalities/mindsets/meditation please let me know. Im open to anything. It took me about 2 hours to write this in between calls. As I hit post I'm going back to coding and planning on working on my first project immediately tonight. Guess i'm saying this more for myself than anyone.

Thanks for reading.

-Just

Submitted November 10, 2018 at 11:22PM by StoicJust via reddit https://ift.tt/2z213YJ