#why dont i have short term memory loss

[kittensandforeheadkisses]

Thankuuu for the tag

took me years to scroll down and then more years to scroll up to see what I'm supposed to mentioned because im a dumb bitch who didn't check the tagged post when i was down

Anyway, it took me more years to actually think about my comfort character because I have a fish memory:)

1. Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani (they're more of a comfort duo. cant choose any one of them// F. R. I. E. N. D. S)

2. Chatnoir (Miraculous Ladybug)

3. Lillian 'Lilly' Linton (I WOULD KILL TO READ HER STORY FOR THE FIRST TIME but every time i re read i always feel warm and happy// Storm and Silence series by Robert Thier)

4. Jacob Maddox (that man, *sigh* that man. there's no one like him. // Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez)

5. Caleb Lockhart (now that i think about it, it's time for another re read// Chasing Red duology by Isabelle Ronin)

I forgot to tag people💀 - @khalnaayika @kadalakari (feel free to ignore this tag if you dont want to engage I won't mind 💗) and anyone else who stumbles upon this post

five comfort characters, five tags

(had to start a new thread, got too long) thanks for tagging me @loulooser ooh i like this okay - nick nelson (osemanverse) - aled last (osemanverse) - peeta mellark (hunger games) - linh song (keeper of the lost cities) - xavier hawthorne (the inheritance games)

tagging @lyssified @mister3127 @raeny-nights-and-faery-lights @weirdo09 @charliethinks

[the-s1lly-corner]

How do you think the digital circus crew would react to a new member who genuinely to want to stay and doesn't want to leave at all?

TADC cast x reader who doesnt wanna leave the circus !

i lied about the previous post being the nights last post, imma spit out one more before i call it a night!! hope this is okay anon, this one may be a little on the short side; maybe.. i always write these notes before everything and forget to edit them accordingly

wrote this as general reactions instead of platonic/romantic/whatever relationship stuff! i like to imagine reader says this when the topic of trying to find an exit comes up... like imagine the atmosphere the looks the !!

CAINE:

hey i mean, hes not gonna stop you from not leaving! caines part is a little weird, since ive seen so many theories on his whole deal and i like them all, i cant settle on just one idea and roll with it... i think he would be thrilled that you want to stay, though.. doesnt have to remind you there is no escape because youre not interested in it... i think he would casually ask why you dont want to leave, though, its not often he finds someone whos content, at least not content without the loss of hope

POMNI:

she was the one who brought up trying to find an exit, again.. she kind of just looks at you with confusion written all over her face. she asks you if you meant that you have given up on trying to escape. you assure her that you just dont want to leave, giving up has nothing to do with it. she just gapes her mouth, before closing. blinks twice, and just asks why. why stay in a program like this? you cant provide an answer that seems to appease her, though... definitely some weird and confused looks from her

RAGATHA:

she doesnt know what to think of it. ragatha herself has come to terms with her position. like sure if there were a plan to escape that truly seemed like it would work, i think she would jump on it and try to leave.. i dont think she would pry you for answers, she believes you have your own personal reasons

JAX:

honestly i dont think he would care, assuming this is as i said in the note above where the topic of escape comes up and you guys arent dating or like best friends. i mean its your life and hes not going to argue with you, if you wanna be stuck in this shithole thats your business. oddly enough doesnt use it as ammo against you, though, and he bullies everyone over just about anything... maybe he cant come up with a cool nickname that makes sense, or otherwise find a way to make fun of you... but. idk

KINGER:

i think kinger would like to escape but i think he just accepted hes going to be stuck here forever. now if he had someone to fight for and be with and they wanted to leave, he would follow them. otherwise hes content with staying put because he doesnt have much incentive or desire remaining to leave. being there for years and seeing so many people fall does that to a person

ZOOBLE:

very similar to jax, in the case that its your business, of course this is assuming you guys arent close to one another. theyre not going to lecture you on how to go about your life. nothing to say here that wasnt already said in jax's segment

GANGLE:

gives you a soft and meek "but why" when you speak up to the group that you dont plan on leaving when pomni brings the topic up. you offer a shrug, or just say you dont want to leave. true utter confusion, and in a dark way believes that you prefer this world over the real one; even when your memories are smeared and burned, if any remain at all

[kaifish-pond]

Howdy Hai! I’m Kai (Oshun/Fox also work!)

I’m a regressor, but this blog is not ONLY regression, but I try and keep it PG, PG-13 at absolute most (Social Justice Stuff gets posted here which is why it gets bumped in rating)

I don’t often look at messages, but I dont mind if you send me a message, it just may take a LONG time for me to get back to you!

I am a relic in internet terms ig. I’m 27 (So I’m a Zillennial, was born at the VERY tail end of ‘96)

I am nonbinary, I was raised as a woman, and still ID strongly with femininity and girlhood, BUT I am still nonbinary bc I do not feel fully woman. I’m like a femme genderflux person with a leaning towards agender. I also use Neopronouns; Pupself and Oceanself, but you can also use She/They and sometimes he

This account is my main account and is the one I follow from. 

I LOVE invertebrates! Right now I’m obsessed with Eresus hermani and Arthrosphaera fumosa. They are BOTH so cute it's maddening! My Nonnie says in the next couple years I will be able to build my own Invertebrate shed!

I have a GREAT love for the Devonian Period, it is ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING! My favorite animal from the period is Dunkleosteus, they were TANKS, just so badass! I also have a soft spot for Tikaaliks (Look em up! They are so cute)

Disability Corner!

I have several Disabilities/Disorders here’s a short list:

AuDHD, BPD, Schizoaffective, C-PTSD, Colitis, NAFLD, COPD, Spondylolisthesis (Anterolisthesis), Asthma, GERD and more :/

I am considered Medically Crippled as I have a disc slippage and pars defect. The cushioning thats supposed to be inside my disc or whatever is squeezed out and pressing against my spinal cord/nerve…

My Pain Management Doctor suggested I get a cane/walker. So hopefully next month I can get a walker/cane

I was kicked in the head by my old horse when I was in the 6th grade and got some nice TBI from it. So I’m a bit messed up in the head, and it kinda changed my personality as well as gave me severe memory loss

I have Learning Disabilities, and was supposed to be on a IEP growing up, but my grandma wouldnt allow me to be placed on one bc I was also very smart in other aspects, such as being incredibly Hyperlexic and teaching myself to read and talk, etc

If I tag something incorrect PLEASE gently correct me, I promise it was NOT intentional. I just am incredibly new to this and social media in general as I grew up UBER religious and was not allowed to have social media much, and when I would sneak and get on it, I would be punished and yelled at. 

I LOVE learning and getting better as a person!!

My Regression Fandoms

Just a smol list of fandoms I like to create Age Regression content for!

ATLA (regressor Zuko and cg Sokka are my faves, but also Flip Katara and Regressor Aang! And Regressor Toph and Cg Sokka)

Scooby Doo (I havent watched every movie/series/etc. I WILL NOT do content for that Velma Show on Max)

Breaking Bad (Transmasc Flip Jesse Pinkman FOREVER + CG Jane)

Dr Who (I have BARELY watched this show, but it consumes my brain)

Sally Face (I havent watched a Sally Face Playthrough since I was a kid and really dont remember much beside wanting Larry/Sal to be my big brothers)

Steven Universe (I have SEVERE issues with this show, but I still love it)

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (I’ve only seen the first movie, but Devon Bostick as Rodrick was AMAZING + Him as a big brother CG would be AWESOME)

Metalocaylpse (Toki is a canon age regressor!!) 

The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings (I havent read/watched in FOREVER, i used to use the movies to help me fall asleep tho xD)

Degrassi (OMG THIS SHOW RULES MY LIFE! I’ve watched from Jr High to Next Class COUNTLESS TIMES)

Teen Titans (Basically any one being a CG for Regressing Raven!! SSsssssSSssoooo CUTE!)

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (Bratty Regressor Catra and Stern CG Adora)

[gmos]

i am so like. metaphysically exhausted i feel like im going thru so much rn i just need to vent with timestamps

like i have zero money so my card declined on my medical bill today and i have to make a bunch of phone calls to places that are only open on weekdays. and i have to prepare for a market but my heart is just not in it. plus ive been waiting to hear back about some other freelance stuff but it hasnt happened yet. so i just keep working on little bits and praying that it will work out. esp bc i have a tattoo appointment i made for my birthday to keep from totally spiraling but i obviously dont have the money for it right now.

and i have to go talk to bf's parents on monday and convince them that im telling the truth about anything w regards to moving. when they dont respect me and think im just some fairy trying to steal their daughter. and the thing is i am but its obviously for the best. and my parents are excited that im moving back but they cant really help me until july and mostly once we're already over there. and bc of how little money we have were gonna have to get rid of most of our stuff and either fly or drive a car across the country.

and all of this while i am getting sicker and sicker and ive just been getting sicker for years and usually it gets better in the summer but this year it isnt so im really worried about that. all i want is to sit outside in a pretty dress with a fun beverage and draw and write but the reality of my situation keeps creeping in. and its crazy bc the thing is pretty much everything aside from the medical bill is already sorted out and being dealt with and i just have to wait it out. i just cant get over how stressed out i feel and thats whats holding me back from fixing things, leading to them getting worse. they increased my ocd medication but the pharmacy hasnt called me yet even after two days when usually they have it same day.

what is going on. im exhausted. i havent slept properly in like two years. i survive off chocolate chips and microwavables and vitamin supplements. i spend most days alone in my apartment sitting by the window on the computer. this is not living. this is not living. i am supposed to be outside talking to strangers. i am supposed to be making the mistakes of a young adult. i turn 20 in 10 days. i have not been able to stay sober longer than 3 days in a row. i have near-constant short term memory loss. my vision is fading. i cant stand. once a week i go to the park and run until my ribs hurt, which is only about 3 minutes. i wear dresses over my hairy legs and combat boots. i get boba tea and coffee and ice cream when i have 10 dollars in my bank account. why isn't it worth it to live a beautiful life? why is responsibility the beginning and end of my life? when do i get to fuck up without being incessantly punished for the rest of my life?

when i was 17 i came to the startling realization that when something bad happens to me, that is the punishment. before that, and even still, i believed that i had to endure the bad thing and then be punished for the fact that the bad thing even happened. then one day i spilled olive oil all over the kitchen counter and my father helped me clean it up and asked if i was ok. to this day it sticks out as a dream, as if something so kind could ever happen to me. and yet i feel like if i had not been treated with so much hostility, i never would have been radicalized the way i am today. i cant prove either way, but i know that the hostility i am constantly faced with is unwarranted. yet it continues, so what am i doing wrong? the answer is obviously everything.

writing this has calmed me down. i am one of the few who benefits from journaling, even performative journaling, which is what this website is based on. one day when i die just a little bit before my time, my now-bf future-husband will compile my unpublished writing and art and notebooks and tumblr posts into a chronicle of my life, and then i will finally be beautiful.

[orchidyoonkook]

My favorite fic of yours: Under The Willow Tree, which I know you know, but I never get tired of talking about it. Every word of this fic is written on my heart. 💘

5. A fic of yours I haven't read but want to: I had just barely started TWWWBAATTA just before heading into my stormy period where I didn't do hardly any reading or writing. It was lovely and your JK is such a cutie and a knock-out, and I'm excited to continue it soon!

8. What I most like about your writing: Firstly, your emphasis on nature and your use of it and its imagery to contribute to the feeling and setting of your plots and scenes. The way that you communicate beauty is really romantic and poetic and I DIG IT. Also, I feel like you are very confident in your characters and who they are - this comes across strongly in your writing and is something I greatly envy.

11. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE WRITE MORE SMUT IN THE FUTURE. Now that The Devil Wears Valentino is out there, the cat is out of the bag - you have an incredible gift for filth, my friend.

12. A fic of yours that I've reread: There are legit chunks of UTWT that I could recite by heart on command.

LOVE YOU BB 🥰🥰🥰

VIOLET HOLY SHIT???!!!??? Literally what did I ever do to deserve such amazing humans around me like??? What god am I in the favour of cuz I need to set up an alter for them rq:

Onto! (this is literally so long im so sorry)

DUDE. I'm on the ground 50 yards away from where i just was cuz thats how hard you've blown me away rn.

1. My favorite fic of yours: Under The Willow Tree, which I know you know, but I never get tired of talking about it. Every word of this fic is written on my heart. 💘

I love how much you love them. And I'm so very glad to have been able to have made something so special to you. It's truly my honour.

5. A fic of yours I haven't read but want to: I had just barely started TWWWBAATTA just before heading into my stormy period where I didn't do hardly any reading or writing. It was lovely and your JK is such a cutie and a knock-out, and I'm excited to continue it soon!

A stormy period??? Did I know about this and completely by accident flake on you??? I'm so sorry if I did. I'm always here I hope you know what. (And please pardon my god awful memory. Short term memory loss sucks so much.)

And never any pressure to read, but when and if you do I hope you enjoy!!! TWWWBAATTA is my brain baby. My first fic and by far the longest thing I've ever written. I love them so much and I hope you will to, but I also understand how daunting getting into a big series is, so literally no pressure at all. You've already been kind enough to me to last a life time <<33

8. What I most like about your writing: Firstly, your emphasis on nature and your use of it and its imagery to contribute to the feeling and setting of your plots and scenes. The way that you communicate beauty is really romantic and poetic and I DIG IT. Also, I feel like you are very confident in your characters and who they are - this comes across strongly in your writing and is something I greatly envy.

WHY IS IT MAKE YOON CRY NIGHT???!!!!!! Im sobbing. I'm facedown in my pillow. A walking waterfall of tears. I dont even know what or where the hell to begin with this. So i'll do what i do best and let my brain vomit on my creative process a lil bit:

i dont even realise i do this until after, the emphasis on nature and imagery and setting plots and scenes. But for me to understand a story, i need a place where i can see the characters, i need to know their place in that setting, and i need a bit of background that sets everything.

-> For UTWT, that was the solace of the tree in the shitty hometown for reader, a reader who's desperate to leave, why they want to leave, and then i give them something. in this case yoongi.

-> for TDWV that was the bar. Why a bar? it's where creatures of the night can go to destress becuase even they aren't always "on." and then why is reader there as a mortal, oh shes a bartender, but that gives her special priveledges with the other species becuase now they cant do anything to her, so shes safe. except for the one thing that disrupts her night. the one thing that goes bump in the night for her. and so how do i take that a step further? I make him obscenely powerful, so powerful that the people who kill her kind for fun are scared of him. And then to seal the deal? I make the big scary man care for the one thing he's supposed to see as less than dirt. I make her special. And you learn this all early on in the story. It cements the who what where when why and you learn the how as you go.

and then when im describing a setting and using things to cement the reality of my stories i go into almost a trance and literally insert myself into it to pick out the details. Visualization is something i've always had "a gift" for. It why i usually dont draw with references, and can look at something crafty and just "know" how to make it. So i guess thats how i do that.

-> like in UTWT. I am the tree and the reader and yoongi. I'm the wind around them and the pond watching them learn to love one another. I'm the motorcycle and the books and the leather jacket shielding them from the rain. I have to be everything to be able to write it the way i see it.

-> and in TDWV i was the bar and the music notes and the black tiled floors. I was yoongi and the reader and the banshees on the balcony and the other creatures. I put myself into everything and think about what they see. what they hear. what do they look like. How do they feel. whats their background, and i think that's why they feel so confident to you. I just - know - everything about them. i need to. to fake it till i make it. to baffle with my bullshit.

as for romance and poetic-ness(?). I've said this before, but it makes me laugh in a good way cuz if you know me irl you know i am the least poetic person alive and i dont do romance. Like i dont even let my partner get me treats bigger than a chocolate bar. (I am learning to be better tho.) So the fact that my writing is two things I am very much not in my waking life, it just goes to show how many sides a person has.

11. (*Something I wish/hope you write) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE WRITE MORE SMUT IN THE FUTURE. Now that The Devil Wears Valentino is out there, the cat is out of the bag - you have an incredible gift for filth, my friend.

dude i was so so scared for the smut. i told you in dms but like i was sweating BUCKETSSSSS. I followed the same process i just described, but then i also had to go over the scene with a completely unsexual, professional and almost sterile eye. I had to think about what would work here. what would work there, should i switch out this word. I should come up with a more creative way to say that, because everyone writes it that way (not that theres anything wrong with that, it's just personal choice.)

and so for example, I'll go with something you pointed out recently from TDWV:

*NSFW INCOMING*

That filthy line when instead of saying he cums, you wrote "as he covers your inner walls in the most sickeningly sweet shade of white." Like, how DARE you?? No one talk to me. I'M NOT OKAY

I've seen this exact thing written as "he paint your walls white" and thats fine. that gets the point across, but i wanted this scene to hit different, i wanted it to show how engrossed he is and she is in this. And so i switched up my words to create a more sensually graphic imagine in the readers head.

and your reaction is all the proof i needed to know it worked the way i wanted it too. And these arent things i think of on the fly in my rough draft. These are things I sit with and brainstorm and tweak to make just right so i get the mental image i want.

*END NSFW PART*

12. A fic of yours that I've reread: There are legit chunks of UTWT that I could recite by heart on command.

Maybe one day i'll test you on this. (jokes) BRO THATS SO FLATTERING LIKE WHAT???!?!!!?!?! I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO COMPREHEND THAT.

LOVE YOU BB 🥰🥰🥰

I WILL BET MY ASS AND YOURS I LOVE YOU MORE <<<<<333333333333

[sonicboomseason3]

s1 ep2: can an evil genius crash on your couch for a few days?

what is this title. if i didnt know any better id think eggmans gonna crash at sonics place

omg

eggman sounding a bit too pollocky and not eggmany enough

i need those pjs. trap door included

wait whos this orange animal and why do they sound like that and someone pls explain

so is this show gonna mainly focus on sonic and tails all throughout. not that im complaining-- the "i have short term memory loss" line just triggered my siri wtf

okay eggman sounding REALLY pollocky now. get him out of there

ohhh so her name is sticks. never seen her before. wonder what shes like

tired!sonic and tired!tails are me tbqh. the main difference is that i do it to myself

update: so sticks is apparently paranoid. has anyone else noticed

does any of their sports tape ever get dirty from them running everywhere. youd think it would since its wrapped around their shoes and all

i like how the other 3 just straight up dont do anything

4/10. it was gonna be 6/10 but i had to deduct for the anti egg yolk propaganda

[habibisagi]

every time i finish or catch up on a manga or anime i somehow forget the majority of the lore and events that happened, i even mix up the chronological order of events and end up lowkey gaslighting myself like no this definitely didn't happen or it did when it didn't ALSKDJDF

[yaatrickyassification]

Hi hi hi! Its me again! Can i request a lee jihoon/Dg and johan seong with a fem!reader who suffer short term memory loss? Pls dont overwork yourself <3 Take care!!♡

-🐢

Thank you for your request! Take care also<3

(I don’t know much about short-term memory loss, so I’m very sorry if I got things wrong.)

[ DG/ James Lee, Johan Seong x Fem! Reader ] - Who suffers from short-term memory loss.

DG/ James Lee:

A little confused about why you kept asking him the same question, you tilted your head to the side, your finger on your chin as if you were contemplating something, you look over towards DG who was peacefully sitting on the white couch of his apartment, "James, do you know where I put my phone?"

DG raises a brow as he puts down the magazine he was reading on the clear glass table, he hums as his index finger points to the room where the both of you reside, "You asked me that question a while ago, your phone's in our room, love." He will piece it all together that you might be suffering from short-term memory loss.

Try to help by researching on the internet or even trying to find any doctors that can assist you. He read on the internet that having a good night's sleep can help, if his singing can aid you, he will sing for you every night.

You let out a content hum as a slow and soft melody drifted in the cool breeze of the night, your eyes closing and opening before you finally succumbed to sleep, a small fond sigh left DG's lips as he looked at your peaceful sleeping figure, "Sweet dreams, [y/n]."

He will take it upon himself to remember the events that happened throughout the day just in case you ask him any questions, he will have sticky notes plastered on the fridge or in the room, written as your schedule for the day, and constant reminders to take care of yourself.

Johan Seong:

He lowkey thought you were messing with him when you keep asking the same question to him over and over again, but when you explain to him that you're suffering from memory loss he will take it upon himself to be your lawful bodyguard.

Every time you forgot where you put something like your phone and wallet, he immediately has it in his hand and gives it to you with a nonchalant expression, "Johan do you know where-" You were cut off as Johan gave you the wallet that you've been trying to find, "here, you left it on the sofa."

Remember the one-night deal between Johan and Jace? He asks the dude what he can do for people who suffer short-term memory loss. He lowered his shoulders as he heard that you need a doctor for that, but then he lightened up again as he heard from Jace that he can help by ensuring a healthy lifestyle.

Will ask you to tag along with him every time he went out of the house to go for a run, you let out a tired huff as your body bent down, your hands on your knees supporting the upper half of your body from collapsing, "What spurred you on going for a run with me?"

Johan looks at you before his eyes shift to the black watch that was on his wrist, "I heard from Jace that having a healthy lifestyle might help." A laugh escaped from your lips, "Thank Jace for me." He nodded his head, his hand hesitantly touching your pinky before finally holding your hand on his firm in his grasp.

[leftdestiny-posts]

So I want to write something but idk how to go about it

So I’ve got an acquired brain injury and while it differs from person to person, most symptoms are similar to the people who have one. 

I (unfortunately) got injured all over my brain. The neurologists believe I got small bleedings all over the place - I did not hurt my brain on one side only - BUT this results (for me) both long term and short term memory loss/problems. The first 1 or 2 years (idk how long it was but the beginning) people had a hard time coming to terms that I forgot everything. I basically got memory wiped and due to the injury on my brain I continue to forget everything. (This is really sucky for myself, if I dont see my dad for like 3 weeks idk what he looks like and it makes me feel really guilty but luckily the people around me know I dont do it on purpose)

So I have this immense fear of forgetting things (like important ones lmao). Your emotional memory is stronger than your “visual” (don't know the word for it rn, but as one remembers something with more than just a feeling) one, so I tend to remember things where I had strong emotions. For me its negative > positive - I'm more likely to remember bad memories of people than the good ones (best I can do is try to write stuff down and to not forget that I wrote it down (spoiler: i always forget))

Hmmm,,, lets say someone approaches me. I haven't seen them in a year and I’ve fully forgotten who they are and what they were to me. It’s a really unsettling feeling because this stranger knows me. They know my behavioural patterns and the average person tends to remember small facts about persons even if they haven’t seen each other in a while (the whole ‘catching up’ thing doesn't work with me) So ye. not the party I want - you can imagine how I get jumpscared because a ‘stranger’ knows what I did last year and what my fav food is (and i dont even know what my fav food is)

But sometimes I have this feeling of despair in my stomach, and because I'm missing those memories, I'm unable to place why I’m feeling it. It’s scary because when it happens in a situation where a person approaches me I know I’m missing something. Did I do something to them? Did they do something to me? Are they bad? Why are they familiar with me? What am I missing? So, sometimes I know people are bad, but I’m unable to back it up. 

in internet its better but in real life this is really spooky

Halloween special? maybe. I wanted to write amnesia characteristics somewhere but I don’t know how to fully go about it. 

It could be unsettling things but there are ‘wholesome’ things as well. 

People I see daily often hear me talk repeatedly about upcoming events I’m excited about - because I forget I already said it to them. 

My enthusiasm stays as strong as it was and 9/10 people let me ramble on before telling me I already told them. It’s awkward af to me (yall making fun of me? probably not but it still feels like im the only one not included in the joke) but people say its nice to see me react constantly / honestly, since my approach and behaviour didnt change

I honestly fall in love with the same things once in a while. I fully forget them and when I rediscover it I am fully enraptured by it (once again)

Oh, not to forget those stupid moments where I blank out:

Me: ye I drove across street 88 today and I saw this gorgeous periwinkle...

me: ...

friend: ???

me: ...

me: ???

me: so weather nice, huh?

Speech problems are usually a daily nuiscance as well. My brain therapist has met this one guy that was fully unable to talk, so im very fortunate, but still. I prefer chatting much more than talking because ill forget the word ‘tree’ and it’s so embarrasing and stupid but I know the word - im just unable to say it and aaaa

So yes. I will write something, just unsure what and how. Spooky or wholesome? we’ll see. I have too many wips so I had to write this off of my chest before it confusmed me.

If you actually read this

Idk why you did but hi! :D now you know more about me ig

[white-poppie]

Q/A for L'appel Du Vide

Hey there Poppies! I was re-reading L'appel DU Vide for editing and I realised there were some loose ends so I will answer your questions here :3

Link to the fic:  L'appel du vide

Link to the directory of the fic---https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/white-poppie/685144119785422848?source=share

NOTE: DONT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN’T READ L’APPEL DU VIDE YET, THIS POST HAS A LOT OF SPOILERS!!

Q: How did Y/N lose her memory?

Ans: Y/N suffered from short-term memory loss due to her traumatic experience. ie the death of Hanma Shuji and the killer being Sano Manjiro.

Q: Who killed Hanma?

Ans: Manjiro Sano killed Hanma

Q: Why did Mikey kill Hanma?

Ans: Originally, Mikey's plan was to kill Y/n and all the other people linked to his past (founders of Toman + Takemitchi) just like Manila Mikey in the post-Winter Showdown arc. 

Hanma got to know of Mikey's plan and he made a run to save Y/n, unfortunately, Mikey caught up to them and Hanma begged for the exchange of his life for Y/N's.

Mikey had to kill Shuji because he was in his way of destroying his past.

Q: If Mikey knew Y/N was alive and was searching for Shuji's killer, then why didn't he kill her even after she joined as Bonten's secretary?'

Ans: I tried my best to catch the essence of Mikey being a highly unstable individual. His reasoning had two clauses:

(Entertainment):

Later he decided that instead of killing his past he wanted to preserve the remnants of it.He realized he wanted you as a specimen, to see how long it takes for you to crumble in his hands. Mikey was watching your every step. He should have killed you while he had a chance, but he couldn't... He couldn't kill his entertainment. 

(The guilt)

"It took him years to realize this, but He is a sinner. He has attended too many funerals in one life. Shinichiro, Izana, Emma, Baji... everyone died because of him. He was sure you too would die, the only person in this world that he had left. He won't be able to bear that...not anymore, please."

Q: Did Ran have Romantic feelings for Y/N?

Ans: No, his feelings were solely based on power imbalance and lustful infatuation with meek and petite females. However, I tried to make it less creepy by giving him the 'Wattpad-mafia' vibes 😂

Q: How did Koko already know Y/N?

Ans: Hanma used to take Y/N to club Ichor once a while, so that is how their introduction began.

Q: Who is your personal favourite in the book?

Ans: Oh lord, I hope my bias wasn't surfacing too much, but I would say: The Fanon Shuji I made up and...Mitsuya and Draken Ughh I can't choose between these two.

Have any more questions that you want me to answer? Please don't be shy and feel free to comment. You can message me privately or ask them in my conversations, send anons etc etc

I would be more than happy to answer any questions regarding the writing process, the plot, the characters, my life or any absolutely random question <3

Peace 

Gauri

Tags: @buttercupspotify​​, @maybeleftoverjourneys​​​, @idowritingandstuff​​, @akumicchi​​, ​ @sakinotfound​  @denkis111​​, @jazzylove​​, @kristaline2dmensimp​​, @lordmypantsaresocool​​, @futuristicallykawaiiturtle​​​, @rintaroubby​​​, @nanaseishiro​​, @bakaface​​​ ​

[thepigeonsopinion]

So "Simpleman" happened...

I'm not going to say it was "bad" per say, but it's not in my list of favorite episodes that's for sure. AnYwAy! As always, before I start on saying my opinions and thoughts of the episode I'm going to right a (hopefully) brief summary or synopsis of the episode. So let's get to it!

Warning: Spoilers from the episode "Simpleman"

Summary: The episode starts with Marinette in her room with Manon fiddiling with her "knitting box" that has the miracle box in it. Cue Alya and her twin sisters, Ella and Etta entering and start running around with Manon. We learn that Marinette has volunteered to babysit Manon, Ella, Etta, and Chris (Nino's little brother) while Alya and Nino go on a movie date. Sometime later, Nino enters with Chris and drops him off, while he joins Alya to the movies. The children start running around Marinette's room and Marinette is chasing them. They start fiddling with the knitting box, they find the kwamis and start to play with them as if their stuffed animals. Marinette is finally able to calm them down when she introduces the idea of watching a movie and of course the movie that they are watching is the "Ladybug and Chat Noir" movie. Marinette then gets a call from Adrien asking if she could help fix his costume for a photo shoot. Marinette says yes (of course), but then she realizes she doesn't have anyone to watch the kids. After some contemplation, Marinette decides to bring them to her grandpa's house. Marinette leaves her grandpa with the kids, that are watching a movie on her laptop. This is the part where Roland, Marinette's grandpa get's so confuesd with all the new tech and modern ways that the kids are so familiar with. This causes him to wish everything was simple and easy and then he get's akumatized and turns into Simpleman. Meanwhile, Marinette finishes helping Adrien and he asks what he could do to show his thanks. Marinette (of course) stumbles on her words and is not able to give him a straight answer and before she can he has to continue with the photo shoot. Marinette gets an "abstract" idea where in the end she's going to "break"(?) the costume again, she fixes it again, and she gets thanked again, in which she finally gives him a straight answer on what he could do to thank her. Simpleman the uses his power to simplify things and "simplifies" the whole of Paris. With Marinette, she abondoenes the plan, deeming it too complicated and is about to just straight out tell Adrien that she likes him, until she sees a helicopter falling, and then she transforms behind a pole (I think?) and saves the civilains. Adrien sees this and transforms into Chat Noir and joins Ladybug. It is there where they deem that fighting or finding the akuma is to much of a hassle and instead they should just confront ShadowMoth himself. As Simpleman and the kids are walking around Paris they see Ladybug and Chat Noir and Simpleman initiates a fight with them. Ladybug and Chat Noir try to fight Simpleman, but are failing miserably. Meanwhile, the kids are helping ladybug and Chat Noir by telling them what they should do and giving them advice on what to do to defeat them. Simpleman is then defeated and everything is back to normal. We go back to Marintte trying to go along with her plan, but she actually abandons the plan and instead tries to actually confess to Adrien. Marinette isn't able to confess to Adrien and instead leaves. Marinette goes back to her grandpa's house and she is met with the sight of her grandpa and the kids watching a movie, in which Roland volunteers to explain the story to her. And, the episode ends.

Wow! Another very long and unnecessarily detailed summary or synopsis of the episode. :|

Anyway! Let's get into my thoughts and opinions on the episode!

(Also, as always I am re watching the episode as I type this so I might have some unnecessary details. Anyway! Let's get into it!)

First things first, let's talk about all of the kwami's scared faces (mainly Sass' because he the best kwami) the kwamis look so terrified of children. I felt my heart legit break when I saw Sass' face, I was like "DONT BE SCARED SASS EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT!". Also, why do the kids in this series have to be such a hassle and not to mention their absolutely annoying (except sandboy, he's a good boy :)) like I feel so bad for Marinette in this situation. The kids don't even really get punished or disciplined if they do something wrong, if I were Manon and I did the things she's done in the show I would've gotten my ass whooped! Anyway continuing on, I feel so bad for Marinette because while Alya can tell her boyfriend her secrets, go out on dates with him, and all that jazz, Marinette can't even keep, or have a boyfriend because of the responsibilities she has as Ladybug and as guradian of the miracle box.

Okay, the sympathy I feel for the kwamis and Marinette in this situation is incalculable. I mean, Marinette has to take care of these mischievous and annoying brats kids and the kwamis have to also deal with the kids in a way because the kids can't control their energy or behave for just a minute (unless their distracted). Like first they steal the knitting box and shake it, then they find some kwamis and start playing with them as if their stuffed animals. And I'm not going to lie, during that part where they were playing with the kwamis, Kalki looked like she was so done with her life. Not to mention, the harassment Fluff had to deal with, with Manon and Chris playing tug of war with her ears. Finally when Marinette gets to relax, while the kids watch a movie she get's a call from Adrien and now she's back to panicking. I would like to call this part the calm before the storm :). So Adrien calls her because they need a seamstress to fix Adrien's costume, but let's be honest here, there are so many other options that they could've chosen in this situation instead of calling Marinette. First of all, why didn't the crew not already have a seamstress there at the photo shoot just in case? And why didn't they call like a professional, very known seamstress? I'm not saying that Marinette is a bad seamstress in any way, no, if I'm being honest she's probably as good as a professional, all I'm saying is that they could've chosen so many other options. Not to mention, if I was in Marinette's situation I would've milked the HECK out of that situation. I would've charged them for my time! But that's just me.

Moving along, so Marinette has a whole planning wall to get at least a date with Adrien, that's not really surprising if I'm being honest, but what really surprised me is that she legit willingly pull that whole board down in front of the kids. I'm surprised she didn't really acknowledge the fact or get embarrassed, but I digress. The fact that Marinette brings the kids to the one family member or person that has legit shown hatred to the modern age is very ironic, if I'm being honest, but that's to be expected from this show. Also, what's with the "save Adrien" part what is Marinette saving him from exactly, I mean the only thing that she's "saving" him from is his wardrobe incident, then again though she is a fashion designer so I guess that would seem like a "saving someone situation", so I guess that makes sense? (it really doesn't :0) Ok, I know that Roland is like very traditional and old fashioned, but he should at least have the common sense to SEE that there is no way to put a VHS tape in that laptop. WAIT A SECOND! Wasn't Roland saved by Ladybug and Chat Noir when he was akumatized as Bakerix I mean the whole movie is based legit just based on them, so shouldn't he know the role they play, unless he has short term memory loss or something. So, a literal movie based on real superheroes, that was mainly attract to CHILDREN is more complicated than a World Cup Football game, nice to know.

So, now we're at the scene where Marinette is helping Adrien. I'm going to be honest was that whole part with Marinette floating around in her mind really necessary because at this point of the show I believe that we're already aware that she feels this way ALL THE TIME when she's around AdRiEn, but I digress. Marinette, honey, I know that you're supposed to be the creative one, but doesn't that plan sound a bit complicated to you? I mean, a fishing rod, really?

Continuing on! So, I'm going to just assume or guess that the time he calls her is like right after he accidentally turns off the computer and all I'm asking is what are these kids on? Because it should at least taken them like 5 minutes to get running again (I think? I don't really know) and why the heck is the grown old man crying because he can't control children? May I also add you kinda, sorta agreed to taking care of these demons kids, so at least have some dignity.

Now! Let's talk about Simpleman. Roland, why the heck are you so picky on your akuma name all of a sudden. You weren't like this when you were Bakerix. Also, I love the fact that Shadowmoth was like so done with him at that point, like his face already says it all. Shadowmoth really said that Ladybug and Chat Noir complicate his life for no reason, dude you were the one that started it with Stone Heart. Now, let's talk about Simpleman's design! Why the heck is he legit a purple skinned, french flagged inspired, old man, that kinda looks like a pedophile. Not to mention, why does he still have the flexibility of an old man. I mean, compared to Bakerix this design is kinda iffy to me.

Ok, first of all why did Shadowmoth say "wait" when Simpleman used his power. Wasn't that his plan though for him to use his powers? Second of all, since he was "simplified" wouldn't he just think that it would be a lot easier if he got the miraculous himself? Also, I know that everyone is now supposed to be simple minded, but did that man really press the red button to stop the WHOLE helicopter.

Adrien, I think you can stop smiling now, the crew legit said that they will stop there, you can go take a break and transform into Chat Noir now. Also, if you have to keep smiling for the camera and not move an inch, why the heck did you let plagg fly out? WHAT IS WITH THIS LOGIC? Wait, since Ladybug and Chat Noir are now "Simplified" they can't fight anymore? Ok, carry on then while I watch the rest of this awful and unnecessary fight scene.

So the kids are helping Ladybug and Chat Noir continue this fight? I really can't tell whether or not the kids are doing this to help or they're doing this for entertainment purposes, in all honesty. (Also, I can't tell whether or not this is a metaphor to Gen Z or not, but whatever!) Did Ladybug just say this old man, purple looking ass, pedophile is scary and mean? I swear to everything that is good....

When Ladybug said "Now I just need to say...."

Me: What the heck!? Is this a kids show?!

Also me: Wait a second... :|

Mr. Astruc, I'm going to be honest here was it really necessary to have a scene where Marinette tries to do a simplier plan but fails miserably really necessary? I mean, we've already seen it hundreds of times by now. Another thing, was it really necessary for Adrien to be an angel for this shoot? Like, we get it he's innocent and pure (not really tbh)

And with that we're finally done with the episode! So, all in all the episode wasn't that bad? But it's not my favorite. Mainly because the logic of this episode was all over the place. Not to mention, the many, many scenes of Marinette fussing over Adrien. Just watching those scenes was kinda draining if I'm being honest.

Anyway! Those are my thoughts on the episode. It's like 3:00 in the morning and I am exhausted!

SO! I hope everyone has a great rest of their day. And always remember...

But that's just my opinion (・ε・)

(This has been (another) tiring week and I know for a fact, it's only going to get worse. *smiles through the pain :)*)

[gogiberries]

Hi so I’ve had this in my head for a few days now

It’s basically how i see the Nanami x Gojo relationship (but it’s more sad than anything else tbh)

⚠️ spoilers ahead for those who haven’t read the manga!

Please enjoy this disgustingly long thread <3

- okay so the way they started was out of convenience/ desperation

- Geto left the school and abandoned Gojo

- Nanami lost Haibara

- So the two ended up just trying to find some sense of comfort and understanding in each other

- Gojo was the one to start it though

- I see Nanami as the type to just suffer silently with his pain and loss, so Gojo had to have made the first move

- They were still students and now they had to pair up for training more often

- Gojo did consider Shoko before Nanami, but he knew that she wouldn’t give him any chance because she saw the start and finish of him and Geto

- Gojo also didn’t want to go to some stranger because he couldn’t lay it all out to someone who didn’t understand sorcery and explain the heavy chip Geto left on his shoulder

- So Nanami, the guy who also just lost someone & who is up to date with the Geto stuff is a perfect candidate for Gojo

- Gojo starts teasu Nanami about how he needs to get stronger during sparring

(this just pushes the “have get stronger for Haibara/ not end up like him” notion in Nanami’s head)

- And one day Gojo just switches to heavy flirting

- Nanami is like ‘???’ but he chalks it up to Gojo just being his weird self

- But the flirting continues

- And Gojo being Gojo, he just keeps getting more direct until one day he just flat out asks if Kento has thought about fucking him

- Despite the constant flirting and suggestive stuff Gojo has been doing, Nanami is completely thrown off

- “What the fuck are you saying” is probably what he’d say, a slight blush forming on his face

- “Cmon dont lie, you’re saying it hasn’t crossed your mind once or twice when we spar?” Gojo would tease

- And Nanami would immediately deny it

- And Gojo would push it even further and say

“oh? That’s too bad, cause I sure have thought about fucking you“

- Now Nanami is blushing hard, face feeling too hot

- “Quit saying nonsense and stop lying” Nanami is too strong willed to give into/ believe in Gojo’s offer

- “I’m not~ do you want me to prove I’m not?” Gojo is also too strong headed and now refuses to back down from this thing he started

- Nanami says no, but they can both hear the hesitation in his voice

- Gojo takes this sliver of a chance to kiss the blonde

- Nanami goes to pull him off, but he doesn’t.

- Why? He’s not sure either, maybe it’s because he’s still a bit inexperienced with all of this, or maybe because he’s willing to accept this- whatever this is that Gojo is offering to help distract him from the pain he’s still trying to cope with from losing Haibara

- So he only backs up slightly to tell Gojo they should go somewhere more private

After that, their relationship, if you want to call it that for lack of a better term, begins

- Gojo definitely is the one who takes the most in this relationship

- At first, when he was trying to keep Nanami from regretting his actions and running away, Gojo was gentle and kind. Making sure Nanami felt understood and comfortable with their actions

- But once Gojo saw Nanami was staying, his caring attitude slowly faded

- He would stay to cuddle afterwards, but only until Nanami was asleep, leaving him to wake up by himself in the morning

[ maybe once in a while Gojo would leave a “Sorry I got called in for some mission” half assed excuse ]

- Not by force, but Gojo would make sure he’d get his needs met before Nanami did (definitely half assed in trying to meet Kento’s needs)

- Nanami isn’t stupid, he noticed the change in Gojo’s behavior early on, but being the masochist that he is, he put up with it because it still felt better than remembering Haibara and dealing with that

- Kento definitely noticed when Gojo was at his worst though. When Gojo was okay, he’d put up his usual goofy & cool dude front, and be selfish in bed, leaving the second they were done as if he was too “cool” and “strong” to show sad emotions.

- But when Gojo was really down and haunted with memories of Geto, he would stay the whole night.

- Gojo would be more gentle and slow with his actions, he wasn’t going out of his way to fully please Kento, but it was more like a sympathetic “c’mere let me do it for you” offer

- on those nights, after they were done, Gojo would lay there and hold-genuinely hold- Nanami.

- Nanami could see the accumulated exhaustion and pain in Gojo’s eyes on those days, and like Gojo, he wouldn’t go out of his way to help him. He might offer to be the bigger spoon or not question it when he stayed till morning, but Kento never would ask Gojo if he wanted to talk about it.

- Nanami would also allow himself to be selfish and enjoy the softer and more affectionate actions Gojo would do during these days

The sense of comfort and understanding they felt with one another was odd and definitely unhealthy, but it was better than being left alone with their own thoughts.

And it continued until Gojo was finally graduating and Nanami decided to share the news that he was going to start interning at some office

Gojo was taken back a bit by the announcement. Kento seemed like he would’ve just done the expected thing of graduating and going straight into sorcery work.

- “You really don’t like this sorcery stuff huh?” He’d probably ask him

- “It's all a bunch of shit” definitely a Nanami response

- Gojo was pretty indifferent in Kento’s post graduation plans, so he only gave him and understanding nod

During Nanami’s final year at the tech school, the two drifted apart without much trouble

- Maybe once in a while, when they were both overworked and stressed by their new schedules, they’d come back for one night to each another.

- It wasn’t much different than what they already had though

- Gojo would still only care about getting his first, and Nanami would use the time to space off and just distract himself from his reality

After Nanami graduated and started his salaryman career, their meetups stopped for a good while.

- Besides the fact that the two were now working even crazier schedules, Nanami was the one who wanted to full on quit.

- He was done with jujutsu tech & sorcery, and as he’s done with everything else in his life, he ran away from it

- He’d ignore Gojo’s out of the blue texts, or just give short and dry responses

- Gojo wasn’t really hurt about it, there weren’t any deep emotions formed below the surface of what he and Kento had.

- Though Gojo was very close to calling Nanami the day he dealt with Geto

But just how they were a few years ago as students, the two adults ended up back where they started, in an emotional void induced by stress and the years long accumulation of unattended issues that neither one of them knew how to handle.

- Nanami tried to quit, he really did. But going to company speed dating parties and or blind dates set up by coworkers was too much trouble for him. He was working way over 40hrs a week and had no time to develop a healthy relationship with someone.

- After some big deal falling through with his job, Nanami did what most adults who have little to no healthy coping skills would do. Get drunk and call his fuck buddy

- Gojo thought it was a mistake when Nanami sent him a text with only an address

- Gojo, also having almost no healthy coping skills, immediately called Nanami back to see what the text was about

- And oh.

- Nanami did send it on purpose

- Well. Who was Gojo to say no to a free night of being distracted with no strings attached?

Aaaaaand they were back, dancing the same dance they have been for years.

- Somewhere within those meetups, Gojo finally shared what happened to Geto.

- Nanami didn’t say much, he only said enough to convince Gojo that tonight wasn’t going to go as they usually do.

- Instead Nanami allowed Gojo to drink and let out any and all emotions he had about the incident.

- Gojo was embarrassed the next day thinking about what all he probably said. But he was grateful Nanami chose to be the responsible one and be next to him as he aired out his feelings

- Nanami never brought up that night’s conversation details to Gojo. He just let that night be what it was and moved on (the best thing for the both of them, more so for Gojo tbh)

Now present time, they still do their usual meetups, but maybe it’s the years of life slowly sanding them down because now, it feels more like a weird check up with one another than just a quick hookup

- It started with them just getting drinks for the night, nothing happened, they both just got drunk and passed out in Gojo’s Living room

- Then it slowly progressed from getting a quick bite to eat, to having planned dinners together

- Sometimes it leads to something, sometimes it doesn’t.

- Is it healthier than what they were doing at the beginning? Not really.

- They still don’t share their feelings that openly nor do they go out of their ways to comfort each other.

- But I guess just the mutual understanding from someone who has also lived through some fucked up stuff quietly sharing a drink or meal with you is somewhat comforting and helps you stay grounded.

End.

[sp-ud]

Waking Up

AO3 Link

Inspired by this post: Link

And my own post about this concept: Link

Content Warnings: Panic Attacks, Memory Loss

Words: 1817

Ranboo suddenly finds himself back in reality with his hands in the middle of braiding his own hair. Not the worst thing he’s woken up to after Enderwalking. He lets out a sigh as he continues braiding his hair, eyes drifting towards the ceiling as he reflects on what he can remember doing while Enderwalking.

Wuh oh.

---

This is basically me sharing my theories about Enderwalking in fic format. That's kinda it. I took my theories, and wrote em as a fic.

I also posted this at 3am which is why it took me till 2pm to make a proper Tumblr post about it.

Ranboo suddenly finds himself back in reality with his hands in the middle of braiding his own hair. Not the worst thing he’s woken up to after Enderwalking. He lets out a sigh as he continues braiding his hair, eyes drifting towards the ceiling as he reflects on what he can remember doing while Enderwalking.

Wuh oh.

Quickly tying off the braid he grabs the memory book. Reading through page 13 again. “New table”? Axe feeling lighter? Eye inside a block? Eye that looks his? Now, Ranboo might not know a lot about his Enderman heritage, but he knows a portal when he's described one.

Lightly smacking his face, Ranboo tries to shift through the foggy memories he always has after Enderwalking. Memories where he feels like a passenger, not the one experiencing it. He… he was mining. Just chatting with those particles of his, when he came across an exposed stronghold. He went to investigate… finding the portal but not recognizing it in his Enderwalk state.

Ranboo starts to head downstairs as he digs through his memories more, he’d… he’d realized the portal would probably help with the experiments he did while Enderwalking but had left to build a lab another day.

… Has he already built the lab? Yes, he has. Replacing the stone walls with iron and setting up what he’d discovered as ‘the solution’ to Enderwalking. Without having to remember, Ranboo can already tell he hadn’t gone through with it while Enderwalking. Otherwise, he would have woken up in the lab. Or in his bed from respawning, after all, his Enderwalking self didn’t seem to realize some of the multiple flaws in his solution.

But Ranboo is too scared to correct his Enderwalking self. It’s already taken him ages to convince his Enderwalking self that he isn’t some evil dissociative state that committed war crimes he can’t remember. He doesn’t want to imagine how it’d go over trying to inform his Enderwalking state he has it backward.

Sliding down into his basement he quickly mines through the wall to get the experiment log he's written in Ender. Flipping all the way to the last page where he’s written the solution. He pulls out a pen from his pocket and holds it hesitantly over the page.

He knows how he is when Enderwalking. A paranoid anxious mess with less than half of his memory. If he sees this when Enderwalking, he’d freak out, he’d get suspicious, and then probably do it anyways.

Reluctantly, he hides the experiment log back away, sealing it back behind stone bricks. He has to tell someone he both trusts out of Enderwalk, and in Enderwalk.

Which is admittedly a short list of people. Phil would be good, but the old man would likely ask too many questions he doesn't know how to answer. Techno, while also a good option, is also currently hibernating. And would likely pass the message onto Phil.

Niki would be an option if the two crossed paths more often, and Tommy has so many issues of his own right now, he doesn't need Ranboo's. The particles, while well meaning, are honestly more of a nuisance who would likely just increase any suspicion.

Which only really leaves one other person, Tubbo. Who, while Ranboo loves his husband, still isn't the perfect option for this, is the best he honestly has.

Someone he trusts, who will listen, who will understand, and who'll actually be able to help. The only issue is Tubbo himself might want to experiment, Ranboo personally still is a little salty over the whole electric chair thing. But hopefully the moobloom-hybrid wilk put aside his scientific interests for the sake of Ranboo's wellbeing.

Not wanting to waste any more precious time he has before falling back into Enderwalk, Ranboo leaves his house as fast as he can after quickly snapping on his armor.

The journey to Snowchester is quick, one he likes to thinks he'd still know even if he had no memories. By the time the water tunnel has shot him back out, it feels like barely a minute has passed since he woke up.

Letting his enchanted armor drip off the water, Ranboo quickly starts towards the mansion where, if his memory serves him right, should be where Tubbo is currently.

"TUBBO!" He shouts as soon as he enters the mansion, yelling being the most efficient way to locate someone in the massive building. His long ears strain themselves to listen for a shout back.

"I'M IN THE UPSTAIRS GUEST ROOMS!" The ender-hybrid hears distantly, darting up the stairs as fast as he can. "THE ONES NEAR OUR ROOM!" Tubbo shouts once more, Ranboo quickly taking a left.

He almost bumps into Tubbo as the moobloom-hybird steps out into the hallway. Luckily scrambling to a stop just before bowling the smaller teen over. He rests a hand against the wall, somewhat hunching over as he tries to catch his breath.

"You good bossman? Something wrong?" Tubbo asks, taking a small step towards Ranboo. The taller huffs a few more breaths before holding his other hand up to tell Tubbo to wait a second.

"It's…" he starts, before taking a deep breath and straightening up, "It's… oh God, I was so focused on getting here quickly that um, didn't really think through how to explain this all…" his tail flicks restlessly behind him.

Tubbo hums to himself for a second, "This is a sit-down kind of thing, isn't it?" Ranboo gives a small nod, "Good thing I just set up yet another 'sitting area earlier today, come on," the brunette grabs Ranboo's hand and gently drags him further down the hallway before opening a door with dramatic flourish.

It's another room consisting of multiple sofas and chairs around a coffee table. The amount of rooms they have that look like this is honestly concerning, but at least Tubbo has enough eye for design that they all are clearly different. Much less confusing than the identical empty rooms Foolish left them with.

Ranboo all but collapses onto one of the couches, Tubbo taking a seat across from him. The brunette's mouth is twisting in worry, nose scrunching up as watches Ranboo through messy bangs.

"Okay," a sigh escapes the ender-hybrid, "I, I guess the best place to start would be… explaining my… condition?" He still isn't sure what the right term for Enderwalking is as there's next to no public documents on the topic. "So, you know how I have bad memory?"

A slight snort before a nod tell Ranboo to continue, "Well that's, that's just one symptom of my, condition. The Enderwalk. It's genetic, I'm pretty sure. There's uh, not much known about it," Ranboo starts messing with the furred tip of his tail, "But it's basically a, a state I go into? I guess? And it…" he trails off.

How does he explain to his best friend, his husband, that the 'him' he always interacts with isn't 100% 'him'. His mouth hangs open before snapping shut, shaking his head a little. Tubbo won't hate him for something out of his control, Tubbo is reasonable, he's smart, he's a good person.

Another glance at Tubbo shows that the moobloom-hybrid now has a serious look on his face, leaning forward, waiting for Ranboo to continue.

"It doesn't just affect my memory. It, it can affect my judgment, my reasoning. And it worsens with age," Ranboo focuses his gaze back down to his tail flicking in his own grasp, "and, don't get me wrong, I'm still me when Enderwalking I'm just…" he loses his words again. Letting a silence fall over the room.

"Okay," Ranboo looks up. Tubbo has a hand to his chin in thought. "okay, I get what you're saying. Plenty of species have illnesses like that," the ender-hybrid nods, "and I'm glad you told me but, why now?" A hint of light blue eyes peer through messy bangs, "did something happen?"

"More like… something's been happening but it's, it's close to becoming worse." He shifts on the couch, once again struggling to find the right words, "I'm Enderwalking all the time… I'd say that you uh, you probably see me Enderwalking more than you see me normally," he pauses to swallow. "When Enderwalking I, I dont realize I'm Enderwalking," a humorless laugh escapes him. "I don't even have half of my memories then. I managed to forget what Enderwalking even is! And somehow," his voice is starting to go static with anger, "I managed to come up with the name again, while Enderwalking, to explain my normal state!"

He hunches over, burying his head between his knees as he lets out static-filled laughs. His ears no longer hearing anything other than a growing buzz. Hands gripping and twisting his hair as his laughs start to devolve into something more like sobs.

A light weight settles over his shoulders and back, hands slowly unclenching his hair to drift down to wrap the blanket around himself. He feels a head rest itself on his shoulders, following the deep breaths he can feel carefully. His tail loosely wraps around a waist before small hooved finger tips start bruising through it.

"Sorry," he mutters. Tubbo hums, leaning his head more onto Ranboo's shoulder.

"Nothing to be sorry about, it sounds like… a lot," Tubbo says back, "You sure you want to talk about this now big man?"

The ender-hybrid nods, tilting his head to somewhat rest on top of Tubbo's, the smaller's dull horns pressing into his face. "I don't know when I'll start Enderwalking again, I have to tell you now before I forget again."

"As long as you're sure," Tubbo replies with a shrug, but Ranboo can still hear the concern under the layer of dismissiveness.

"When Enderwalking I've, starting to experiment on myself. It's progressively gotten more… intense, to put it simply. My Enderwalking self thinks he's found a solution, to stop from 'Enderwalking' but," Ranboo pulls back, doing his best to make direct eye contact with Tubbo, "the 'solution'? It's, I know what it's going to do! It will just make the Enderwalk worse. I'll probably be down to only a quarter of my memories! I might even, even lose a life."

Ranboo's eyes loss focus as his panic starts to build before he feels Tubbo's dull horns pressing into his chest and arms wrapping him in a loose hug.

"That's what you wanted to tell me, right?" Tubbo sighs, "you want me to make sure that you don't go through with it while Enderwalking?" Ranboo lets out what's supposed to be a hum that ends up sounding more like a buzz in response.

"Don't worry bossman, you can count on me," Tubbo tightens his hug and Ranboo can slowly feel the fog that comes with Enderwalking creep in.

"I know, I always know," he responds, before letting himself drift into the fog.

[dreamdropsystemarchive]

Yeah.. I feel like I'm hard to understand when I talk to people in person, and it makes me self conscious even if they do understand me, so I kinda get it.

Oh that makes sense! I see why being blurry is hard..

I'll check out those videos you guys told me about so I can be more educated on the subject and maybe have some questions answered. I went and subscribed to The Rings System so I wouldn't lose it. I think y'all might have said it.. but everyone is different so it makes sense that different systems run differently..

It might be easier to read because I have a short attention span, but it's okay! You guys don't have to.

So you guys can communicate through journal entries? That's smart! It's easier to remember things when you write them down. And that's true! Getting them fused together is what matters right now. If them being split is stressful, then it's best to try to fuse them.

I'm glad the appointment went well! And I get that.. every day is hard to get through. But I hope everything is alright! That sounds frustrating though.. knowing something is happening but not what exactly. I hope for the best too! Your guy's art is really good! I wish I could draw as well as you guys! 🥺

That's true! Distractions are always nice to have. They make everything a little easier to deal with. But me too.. it sucks pretending you're okay when you're not. It's really hard.

Sorry you guys had a bad day today :( it may not be much, but this is for you:

ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ /🌷

It's nice talking with you guys too!

-🌺

hello again 🌺 anon. nice to see you again.

we get that too, so its understandable. you're very kind though, thank you

yes being blurry is hard but you kinda get use to it? kinda lol.

yes, check them out. you can always ask us system questions and well do our best to answer them too. every system is different but we have similarities like most systems (but not all) have a inner world or headspace. or pm all systems have protector alters.

its okay well try to make it easier for you. just let us know, ☆ well do our best to explain and be more understanding.

yes we all do our best to journal, written down or typing it out (mostly typing journaling) and yes thats why were trying to fuse the Shane(s). our therapist thinks Shio might be trying to intergate with the struggles she's trying to get pass? but we don't know.. but yeah its pretty scary not knowing all this stuff but the gatekeepers are doing our best to protect us, and introduce the alters to is slowly.

thank you! every day is hard, but were making it.. somehow. we're proud of you for trying. you're doing you're best, we can see. and thank you for the tulip (we think thats what type of flower that is lol) and thank you! were trying. we hope you have a good day, or have a good day tommrow. its late where we are so we just hope for a better tommrow. nice talking with you again

we sure are having long convos.. we have to check the other asks to remember what we said lol. we have long and short term memory loss so dont mind us for asking/saying stuff again sorry lol - adult Shane

[grayfilmsandstuff]

Hi so uhh,,,, about that matchup thing!! Romantic bc asexual hours. I have general anxiety disorder and adhd. I have dark hair and 5'7". i have trouble controlling my volume & tone so i'm very loud and sometimes sound like im angry when I dont mean to be. I'm akward at first when meeting people but I get into the groove of it quickly. I draw and write, I currently have a story thats over multiple universes. im gender fluid and enjoy most media esp with sentient ai [1/2 jic i'll mark this as Imp]

yes hi hello!! heck yea heres ur matchup! sorry it took so incredibly long! also i don't write sexual stuff anyways so hehrgehrhr

i match you wiiiiiiith...

Hank!

- you and them met when they were on a mission. they ducked behind a table and you were there already, so they offered to protect you. you accepted and after a small skirmish when you showed up at the truck after the mission, you were accepted as part of the team

- he understands a lot of the things going on in your head because he's got a lot going on in his as well. even if you don't feel like talking about it, he'll help you however he can

- he's the exact opposite when it comes to volume, so you tend to do a lot of speaking for him but he will politely ask you to tone it down if you're being too loud. that's one of the many reasons why he appreciates you so much

- they also find your short term memory loss endearing sometimes. you'll be sitting on the couch in their arms on your phone, then you'll put it down next to you to look up and kiss their chin and then seconds later you'll ask where you put your phone

- you're really just super cute to him overall. he would kill anyone and everyone if it meant keeping you safe

- they love your drawings, your stories, and your art in general. they think you're wonderful and you always amaze them with the way you make things out of nothing

- every single thing you've made for them, they've kept in a very special place

- he wears his goggles quite often but they aren't with a prescription, so the first time he put on your glasses he was shocked

- "uhh.."

- "hm?"

- "hey hun, i love you, but i gotta ask. how in the world are you able to see with these?"

- "oH PFFT-"

- whenever you ask him to clean your glasses he'll use the cloth on his gloves and then bend down to put them back on your face, brushing your hair to the side and kissing you on the forehead

okay hope you liked this!!

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 1 (#20-#11)

Hello Hello Hello animation fans! And welcome to something i’ve wanted to since last year. See I had the idea for a best episodes list back in 2019: rather than do a best shows list, which would be only about half of 20+ shows anyway, I thought i’d do a best episode lists: to give as many shows a possiblitiy to shine as possible while still honoring the best of the year. But my own natural foibles got the better of me: I INSISSITED on watching everything I missed.. then just kept putting THAT off until it was was spring, shows were coming back and I just threw up my hands. I’ve regretted it ever since and vowed, especially since in the interim animation went from just being something I analyized for fun to my analyzing it for fun AND profit, to get it done this year.  So I had to make a few caveats. First I gave myself at first till the 31st of the year and then due to covid and everything that happened, until the end of the first week or so of the year, i.e. today, to watch as much as I could. So several shows are missing. Some I REALLY got behind on and don’t have an excuse for (Craig of the Creek and Big City Greens), others I also really liked but my depression made it really hard to watch (F is for Family and very nearly Bojack), some I just kept putting off ever starting or forgot to start entirely (Hilda, yes even since season 1, Kipo: Age of the Wonderbeasts and It’s Pony) and some.. I gave up because as you can tell I sit on shows way too often (Ilve action wise I still need to get back to Doom Patrol), and I realized i’d rather watch stuff old and new I care about than waste time with something that I just stopped liking, i.e. Rick and Morty and Big Mouth which i’m guaranteed some flack for saying but I dont’ care. I have my reasons, and while I originally GAVE those reasons I decided to leave them out: this list is not about me bitching about why I quit certain shows. I’m a grown ass man, I can quit a show anytime, and given last year was such a craphole, I think we could use less piss and vinegar and more sugar.  So before we begin, a bit about the state of animation last year: It was in flux. WIth a new decade dawning we got great new shows like Owl House, Close Enough, which in a year full of terrible suprises not only FINALLY got released but did so with a second season order, Solar Opposities, the Midnight Gospel and Kipo: Age of Wonderbeasts. Ducktales returned for it’s best season ever. Amphibia returned for a pretty good season. Disney brought back the wonderful mickey mouse shorts towards the end of the year, FINALLY given D+ some non-movie animated content. The Casagrandes got better as it went and just barely didn’t make this list and the Loud House kept on trucking and shows no signs of stopping with a season renewal and a movie coming out. And Adventure Time staged a comeback a few years after it died and while I haven’t seen BMO yet, Obsidian was fantastic and only barely didn’t make the list. 

Not only that but we got   great new series announced for the next two years: Lumberjanes is FINALLY getting adapted and by Noelle Stevenson herself. Gendy Tarkovsky is not only returning to children’s animation but with a wonderously weird concept about immortal unicorns turned into teens> There’s a promising show about a ghost and a plucky tween coming this summer. The Rise of the TMNT movie is still happening. Craig McCracken is also coming back.  But naturally given this was 2020 the news wasn’t all good as we said goodbye to a lot of shows.. and this was after 2019 already took several from us, OK KO still being the hardest loss to this day and Star Vs very disapointing finale still leaving a bad taste in my mouth: Most gutpunchingly, the two frontrunners of animation at the time, shows that truly changed the game and probably gave other shows a chance at life they never would’ve had, including some on this list, ended. 

Steven Universe took it’s final bow after we got one last trip to beach city with the Future miniseries, with the show ending gracefully and beautifully, and having pulled off it’s third succesive possible ending for the franchise and it’s defntive ending for steven’s story. Bojack did the same not long before, ending on a bittersweet but beautiful note and with a one two punch of the series best episode and i’ts second best episode, a satsifying but bittersweet finale we’ll get to. Both shows as I said have set hte standards and tones for most animation after them, and both’s absence is felt.  She Ra suprisingly ended, though with a beautiful and wonderful finale we’ll, again, get to, and on i’ts own terms, but given it was the most likely to take up the shield from steven, it was another punch. Less peacefully was the ending of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a show I caught up on after it’s demise which was screwed by the network over toy sales because that’s.. still.. a thing. 

There is a light of hope, as the movie is somehow still in production and if it does well we may get season 3, but it’s dim and given the show, despite it’s flaws, had found itself and the finale, which they were given weeks to put together, was spectacular and, say it with me now “we’ll get to that”, I really hope it does. And that nick learns how to run an animation company for fuck’s sake. 

Infnity Train while not dead, is on life support despite having it’s best season in season 2 and an okay season that still tackeled racisim very well even if story wise the season faltered, at a time when we REALLY need to tackle racisim in our entertaiment period. Venture Bros meanwihle was just flat out canceled for no given reason despite both having as eason renewal order and you know, being Adult Swim’s highest rated and best show for over a decade. Like Infinity Train and Rise there’s a SCRAP of hope, both adult swim and hbo max are apparently looking into ways to bring it back so a finale movie or a season 6 comic are propable, but given the show ended on two big cliffhangers, and given 2020 already had pushed back a LOT of things I’d looked forward to for good reason, and had now just outright killed a show, it was a massive shattering blow and easily the biggest of the year.  But coming VERY close was finding out Ducktales was ending. While the finale would serve as a proper finale, I feel the show easily could’ve had more seasons.. Disney just dosen’t let shows go on forever, or sometimes not even for a reasonable amount.. or put those shows it didn’t let go on a resonable amount on Disney Plus.. and I will be bringing that last part up until Wonder Over Yonder is FINALLY put on the platform, along with MANy other shows. Figure it out.  But yeah that was ANOTHER show I thought would lead the way and like Gravity Falls lead to Ducktales, Ducktales will probably lead to more shows including HOPEFULLY a frank and matt lead Darkwing Duck.. and even that’s in jeapordy since instead it might be done by Seth Rogan’s company who while not bad people and if their working on Frakn’s reboot great.. are not the people who spent three seasons setitng up a reboot in a unvierse they already spent three seasons deftly crafting. I DOUBT Frank won’t be involved since Let’s Get Dangerous was promoted to hell and back, but again given this is disney.. it worries me and I won’t be settled on this till we get conformation of a proper reboot with frank and matt at the helm. 

Point is it was a rough year for animatoin even without covid taken into account pushing back seasons and forcing a change in work habits. But as this list attests even in the worst year in recenet memory, here’s hoping 2021 dosen’t say hold my beer, there was some damn fine animation, including some of the best i’ve ever seen and the shows that did leave or are getting ready to gave us one hell of a show. Before we get started one last bit of buisness for transparency: As I said i missed some shows and others I did watch but given despite this list’s sheer size it was still VERY tight, for the record each show got four nominees a piece, and some had even more episodes considered before widdling it down, and even at the 40 episode mark there were some tough cuts and by the end it was brutal. So here’s the show’s considered. 

Shows Watched: Steven Universe Future, Infinity Train, Close Enough, She Ra, Ducktales, Amphibia, The Loud House, The Casagrandes, Rise of the TMNT, Animaniacs, Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, Solar Opposites, Bojack Horseman, The Owl House, The Midnight Gospel Shows That Did Not Make the Final List: The Loud House, The Casagrandes, Animaniacs, The Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse, Adventure Time: Distant Lands, and Solar Opposites.  Final note: all episode’s i’ve done reviews of at the time of this list will have links in the title to said reviews in case your curious So with that in mind , here’s my top 20 list, part 1.. becasue these posts are going to be long as hell so I needed to split up gang. On with the show after the cut as this is a really damn long one

20. Fragments (Steven Universe Future) “I bow to your strength.. my Diamond”  Steven Unvierse’s final act was a masterstroke. The show ended with every major conflict resolved as the Diamonds decided , if only for Steven’s sake at first, to change their ways and helped him restore the corrupted gems, while Lars made it home. Our heroes were FINALLY, after seasons and almost two in-story years, as Steven “Finally Done, Finally Us, Finally Me”, the last part being especially pogniant since, while done thanks to a horrifying action on whites part, his breif seperation PROVED there was nothing of rose left; She’s gone.  So Future uses this cleverly: With the conlfict of the movie resolved things were still very nice.. but eventually Steven started breaking down piece by piece: As the series went on it became clear what it was: A deconstuction of some of the less healthy part of the mostly fairly healthy and wonderful main show. It showed just what happen when someone whose put his identity into having some kind of destiny, someone whose felt their purpose in life is to make other people’s better and solve their problems and be a good person.. has no issues to solve. Oh sure there’s an antagonist here and there and Jasper refuses to change or admit no third great gem war is coming and that peace really has come.. but his family are finally happy with who they are, and are moving on with their lives. As someone whose had people move on without them and whose clunt to people this hits close to home.. hits close to home a lot. 

So as the season went on Steven clung to everything, taking it VERY badly when Lars and Sadie not only revealed their attempt at a relationship failed after years of build up, and never told steven because they thought it wasn’t his buisness, which is true to a point as them breaking up isn’t anything to do with him but someone should’ve told him it was amicable given the amount of shit he’s seen between you two, just saying. But it still meant a good chunk of his friends leaving town, and him, behind. Attempts to fillt his gap with tv watching or gardneing, aka what the crew amazingly dubbed “Depression Hobbies:”, a term that hits close to home, failed and then a far WORSE attempt to fill the void in his life by proposing to connie failed.. she turned him down firmly, but gently recognizing this was a terrible idea, they were too young, and he was clearly going through some stuff. As garnet put it “Your partner is your compliment, not your missing piece”. Another beautiful term to stick in my brain. 

So as if this wasn’t bad enough his body started mutatating and it turned out the pink form he’d gained was actually supposed to just be his body’s version of adrenline, but since he’d spent years in constnat struggle, his body was treating his emotinal stress like do or die situations with predictable results. We’ll get to that more in a bit but needless to say steven’s family were concerned and Greg returned from managing Sadie to TRY and help his son.. only to drive a wedge between them as Greg’s Smothering Parents seemed like the life Steven never had, instead of obnoxious people who refused to reconcile with their son even decades later despite plenty of effort on greg’s end and Greg having to raise a child alone with only marginal support from the gems at best at first. But Greg’s tragic inablity to see his son was hurting, as with everyone elses lead to him nearly getting them hurt in a car accident and thus this episode.  After getting chewed out by the gems, who tragically simply don’t realize what’s wrong with steven, can’t figure out why themselves and he refuses to tell them, Steven runs off, to the one person who would never tell the gems where he is and the last place they’d expect him to go at his lowest: Jasper. And thus we get one of the darkest and moodiest episodes of the show’s long history. 

After having lost a lot of his sense of peace of mind: his best friends are gone, his girlfriend is next, his parents and sister are constantly busy, there’s no one for him to turn to. Steven NEEDS someone like him and while his family is trying they just don’t know how to reach him and deep down he dosen’t WANT them to. Like me at times, shocker I know, he fears deeply that if they knew some of the flaws about him, some of the problems he’s had, they’d hate him. When as time would bear out for both of us, as my first stint of therapy near the end of colllege proved, it just means they understand you better and can HELP YOU. 

So instead he turns to Jasper, and he does so for good reason: He wants to control his power and emotions.. the problem is Jasper dosen’t WANT what Steven wants. Steven wants to feel godo again and feel healthy and be the person people want him to be. Jasper.. wants a fight. She wants a diamond, someone to serve, someone stronger than her who will LET her be what she feels she’s meant to be: a warrior, a destroyer, a breaker of worlds. So she slams that steven shaped peg into a round hole, and it’s horrifying and uncomfortable to see our hero turned from a loveable hero.. to a power obssed, almost vegeta-esque asshole .. in short she’s made him into the very thing he spent years fighting against, all because he’s so scared of himself he can’t face himself. It shows just how bad things have gotten: that steven’s hates himself SO MUCH, that he’d rather become something worse than face the truth and let his family help him. So convinced they don’t need him that he needs to be something ELSE. 

And so tons of training, abuse and hard labor lead to the moment Jasper and fans had been waiting for: a rematch between the two. And.. it’s easily one of the series best fights. For a series that’s at it’s core about ending the cycle of violence and often big exchanges of words and someone emotinally healing are treated as big as victories in combat.. the show has some of the best fight scenes in cartoons period, and this being the penultimate one, we’ll get to the last one next time, it’s a brutal, dbz style slugfest, something unlike the other fights in the show, with two opponents full of rage and hate going at it with everything they have.. ending in Steven, for one breif terrifying moment having BECOME what his grandmothers and mother used to be: A sadstic monster drunk on their own power “Your right jasper, I WAS holding back”

But when we next see Steven, running into the house and ingoring his rightfully concerned family..... he’s not that guy anymore. He’s back to who he was at the start of the episode: A scared teenager who deeply hates himself and who wants to be better but is ironically shutting out the only people who can help him. And one.. whose committed murder. This was a VERY bold move to make: Steven KILLED SOMEONE. Sure it was  shattering so it got past censors, but in his lowest moment.. steven did the one thing that to someone who treasures all life, is anthemia to him: he killed, did what his mother did before she changed, did what his aunts have done countless times to countless worlds. And it horrifes him, with him desperate to bring jasper back and using everything he has, his powers and his aunts essences, to try and fix his mistake.  And unlike anyone else in his postion he succeeds.. and Jasper, ignoring steven’s attempts to apologize is surprised at first at being shattered, knowing what happened.. befor bowing proudly, FINALLY getting what she was REALLY after: A diamond to serve. And steven can only gaze in horror at what he’d become and at the realization he can’t go back from this and he has no idea what to do now. An utterly grippling, utterly terrifying character piece with some of Zach Callistons best character work in the show’s storied history, with Steven shifting from being drunk on his power to utterly broken at having broken jasper. One of the series finest moments.. only topped by some things the series proper did.. and some more on this list. 

19. Perils of Peekablue (She Ra and the Princesses of Power) 

“They are my people. Which means most of them have sworn revenge against me at some point “  She Ra was easily one of the best shows of the 2010′s. While it started out excellent, and pretty gay, it ended being a masterpiece, and fabulously gay, as is befitting something related to He Man in some way. 

A masterful space opera, She Ra had some great bones in a thrilling love story, great humor, great action and wonderful characters most of them main and supporting going through some form of development. It was a wonderful, magical show and I look forward to Noelle giving Lumberjanes the series treatment, both because the series concept is frankly better built for an ongoing tv series than a monthly comic, and because after this series she has my utmost faith in whatever she does. Also her story about how she both came to terms with her sexuality and met her partner was VERY lovely.  Seriously check it out. Also her partner was the one who co wrote another entry on this list, just a fun fact. Point is this show was awesome.  But as I said part of the show’s strength was it’s character and that shines on this day in the limelight episode covering what’s going with the rebellion since She Ra shot off into space to rescue her best friend. We do get to see the best friends squad breifly, but their simply heading home: With Catra rescued and on the path to being a better person, and firmly in adora’s lap because again this show is wonderously gay and because it annoys her and Catra gets off on that, our heroes are wondering how everyone else is fairing.  So we see that, as with the Rebellion not doing so good against Horde Prime, our heroes seek the solution to their problems with the same solution homer simpson always uses:

Well okay less starting a new life and more getting the help of the mysterious prince peekablue, who I now realize is where the whole pikablue name for merril probbaly came from.. or maybe nerds making things up in the 90′s werne’t that creative. You decide!

So we get the ragtag team of Mermista, Seahawk, Scorpia and Perfuma, as the quartet try to bluff their way to the prince for help. Naturally we get Seahawk being seahawk, i.e. an awesome ham with a voice way older than he looks, Mermista being annoyed by that and being forced to admit she tried out pyromania to see what it’s like, which naturally is the most romantic thing Seahawk’s heard in his whole life.. as well as some VERY charming ship tease between Scorpia and Perfuma as Scorpia enrouages her the two bond and Scorpia finally likes someone who both likes her back and isn’t so obssed with her sorta ex and tied up in her own issues a relationship is impossible. Look I was suprised she found someone else as everyone here, but i’m happys for her. She’s the nicest person on this show and is now dating the second nicest person on this show. It’s nice okay. 2020 didn’t give me much nice, it gave me the emotoinal equilvent of being constnatly stung by hornets.

We also get a lovely musical number from Scorpia about being a spy.. and the revelation Peekablue.. is just Double Trouble. THEIR BACK BABY. It was nice for them to make a comeback for one last apperance and they do provid vallid information.. but prove to not be too useful despite this both due to their habit of being only out for themselves, hence setting up an elaborate cabaret act under the ocean.. and because Mermista got chipped by the crowd, so now our heroes are stuck in a giant coffin surronded by the thing she can manipulate. It’s only through a harrowing sacrifice by scorpia that Perfuma and Seahawk escape but with their sorta partners now brainwahsed to the other side.  To amp up the tension back home.. things are even worse as Spinerlla, whose been brainwashed for several episodes and seriously worrying her wife Netossa... has made her move and with the rest of the rebellion’s leadership gone, chipped everyone but Frosta and King Micah, who dosen’t last long, meaning not only do our two remaning heroes BARELY escape, but the horde now has, between both plot lines, four really heavy hitters, as later episodes would bear out that Spinerlla is basically the red tornado when it comes to wind powers. Point is perils is a fun, breather episode... that then turns into a still fun but also heartbreaking episode as our heroes loose and loose bad and their only hope is in our ohter heroes making it back to htem in one piece. 

18. 100% No Stress Day (Close Enough) “Long story short I owe them three grand”  Close Enough.. has not had the easiest existence. It was greenlit in 2017, used it’s pitch reel as the trailer meaning everyone thought it was MUCH farther along, was meant for TBS but got shelved because the show it was to be paired with, The Cops, was created by sexual predator Louis CK. And since he came up and h’es primarily responsible for this show getting shelved for so long... Louis CK is a bastard. He harassed women, literally and metaphorically waved his dick around to show his superiority, knew he could get away with it, and ACTED contrite when caught and rightfuly punished for it by loosing everything.. then has spent the last year or so TRYING to mount a come back, with the help of Dave Chapelle who I lost ALLLLL respect for in recent years, despite not having apologized or done anything that resembles him having actually learned his fucking lesson or tells me that, could he get away with it, he wouldn’t just do it again. I’m taking time out of this unrelated thing ot make sure he does not get ANY power back, as too often preadatory or abusive assholes get away with this and get right back to doing stuff, like say Doug Walker, who I only bring up to remind people he’s a bad person who enabled worst people and abused a lot of innocent critics, and let htem lovingly euologize a man he knew was a preadator in life without telling any of them about said behavior, which he coudl’ve done without outing the victim to the world against her wishes. Because as another episode we’ll get to next time briliantly put it 

But now i’m done reminding people of assholes, I can get back to what’s really important: The fact this show is a goddamn miracle. Not only is it as good as I hoped, which let’s face it in this year it was just as likely the show would be the video equilvent of scabies, but it got RENEWED. Turns out it’s being delayed.. was a blessing in disguise as it sidestepped being part of a failed animation block, and instead go to be the first adult animated show on HBO Max with tons of promotion. And judging by the future lineup of adult animated programming.. it’s probably going to be the ONLY good one for a while as other offering includes the prince, about life with the royal family, and a show about a 12 year old whose constantlly going thorugh trauma because they apparently did not get the irony when watching moral orel and also skipped the entire third season. And possibly got some brain damage I dunno. Hopefully will lead to much better shows down the line and actually gets a second chance at life, and even if it clocks in at only two seasons, it’s still a damn miracle and I will acknolwedge it. 

So yeah as I said the show is fantastic and was one of my faviorites this year. The show treads some familiar terroitory as it does use the formula from Quintel’s “Regular Show”: Normal problems that spiral into bizzare chaos that still has it’s own effed up internal logic. The thing that honestly makes it BETTER in my opinon, is the passage of time. Quintel is no longer the brighted eyed fresh out of college and menial job guy he was: he’s married with a kid, and that fully informed this project, as instead of being about doofing around in your 20′s, it’s about the pressures of hitting your 30′s: from aging to keeping your relationship fresh to all the perils that come with parenting, to missed opportunities you deeply regret. There’s a lot of good stuff they dig into here, but it never overdies the comedy, simply ads a bit of depth to it. And regular show wasn’t LACKING that by any means, i’m not bashing the show.. i’m just saying Close Enough is starting at the level Regular Show was at at it’s best.. and could easily and handily suprasss it with time it now has. 

And I was first given a good and proper introduction via this episode, as it leaked beforehand due to a french animation festival and I couldn’t help reviewing it, as i’d waited quite some time. But honestly while I like the first episode in the all in the show proper, quilty pleasures.. I feel this is a WAY better first episode and shoudl’ve been swapped with Quilty, as it introduces things even better and lets the whole cast shine, and thus is one of two close enough episodes on this list.  The episode starts with Emily, the stable but stressed and anxious half our our main couple at the doctors office where we get a great barrage of jokes off the bat, from the laundry setting a blaze leading to one of the series best lines

Naturally this has lead to her body constnatly sleep fighting .. while she’s awake, so Josh, her husband and loveable doofus, offers to take care of errands so she dosen’t implode from the stress. This also displays one of the series best assets: While Josh and Emily are an optimistic and impulsive idiot and a stressed out, often voice of reason.. they actually LOVE each other. It’s like a far more healthy of early seasons homer and marge, where BOTH get in over their head but  both clearly love and respect each other, and while Josh CAN be irresponsible.. he still holds down a decent job (Though Emily is more of the breadwinner and her job provides the insurance), is attentive to their daughter candace, and WANTS to be repsonsible. Trust me after countless dom coms where i’ve had to restrain from yelling “GET A DIVORCE” at the screen, it’s nice the tide is turning and Bob’s Burgers has become more of the norm couple wise than the exception.  But yeah so the main group splits up: Josh takes candace and his best friend and local weirdo played by Jason Mantzokus every series needs, and easily my favoirite character, Alex to do errands while Bridgette, Alex’s ex husband, Emily’s best friend and both the bbay of the bunch and the most irresponsible one.. gets her high to help her relax. 

Both plots are really great: The boys and candace run into a ham shortage, a joke that actually plays better in the pandemic age, and stripper clowns because in the series best gag so far, Alex explains via flashback he bet them they couldn’t make a dog, and one did so.. using his dick. 

Just in case you were wondering if JG was enjoying the fact he could use adult humor now, though another part of the series charm is while it freely makes more adult jokes, it dosen’t ever get into gross or dudebro territory. It just means the censors are down and they don’t have to hide beer as soda anymore. They also have to tangle with some hamburgalers who are reselling the meat at rock bottom prices and creating the shortage.. and who deny being hamburgalers despite their tactics being backing up into houses with a large van and stealing hams. OUr heros avoid becmonig meat and naturally end up both in a car chase and then a bet for their lives in a game of Ladder World, josh’s latest game.  Meanwhile Emily blazes it and we get a great getting high montage, as it shows BRidgette’s idea does genuinely help a bit.. until they run into Timothy, the teacher at cadance’s school who I hope gets an increased roll as he’s always a delight and this is his best apperance. Depsite the understandable awkwarndess and paranoia of running into your kids teacher while high, being an open minded guy Timothy offers them wine and then weed and even takes Emily punching him when her trip takes a bad turn, giving her a stern but fair “bitch use your words!” before the next seen has him helping her through her issues with some solid advice, allowing her to arrive in home just in time to save her husband and the cave goblin who lives in her house from clown strippers and meat gangsters.. which sounds like one hell of a gay porno. All in all a solid, always hilarous, always charming ep that shows the series off at it’s best. 

17. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales)

“No, no.. Christmas is a SAD story?” 

This is my third and hopefully FINAL time talking about this one, though given it has a high chance of showing up on the series best of list, probably not. Not that I mind, this is a VERY good episode, I just don’t have anytihing new left to say. It’s a heartwarming, fresh, engaging christmas special that uses the characters perfectly and for once actually strips down the cast effectively instead of making you wonder where everyone else is, while still giving everyone an apperance. It also has Webby giving Lena (And Violet) an adorable cheek smooch when delivering her parents and I will never not find that fucking precious. Plus it’s gay as hell with plenty of gay subtext between Scrooge and Santa, a sentence I never thought i’d say but i’m so glad i’ts my job to get to type things like that, and said kiss so that helps. But even besides that it’s just REALLY damn good. Again i’m leaving this short both because i’ve talked about this twice now, once when it came out as I do regularly for ducktales and again for my best christmas specials list, but it’s really that good and made it damn high on my bet christmas specials list and is only so low here.. because despite being a terrible year in every other respect we got some REALLY good episodes this year. So yeah this one’s a classic, I love it but i’m tired of talking about it till at least next december. Moving on. 

16. Finale (E-Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Shreddy or Not,  Anatawa Hitorijanai, and Rise) Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “Oh and Blue your leader now”  As I mentioned in the intro. Rise of the TMNT was unjustly canceled this year and even worse got it’s season order chopped in half and was given just weeks to throw together a finale. So it’s remakrable that not only was the season pretty damn good, having the series usual problems of sometimes overdipping into the boys stupidity hence the episode where everyone but Raph keeps eating poison, but also had both great character arcs in Baron Draxum’s reformation and Splinter getting more and more fleshed out and more screne time, and great laughs. Seriously Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle, aka that episode where our heroes end up trapped in an 80′s dress up montage, BARELY didn’t make the list. 

And as a longtime fan of the franchise I couldn’t be happier this fresh take, which I was aprhensive about at first because it looked like yet another dumbed down teen titans go ripoff, and given it was dumb to begin with... but instead was a fun action comedy with a lot of really unique and intresting ideas. And despite the rush to finish.. they delivered one hell of a finale and on the high chance season 3 dosen’t happen... it’s a hell of a note to go out on.  First things first: yes i’m counting multi parters as one episode. Not more seralized shows like SU Future or Infinity Train, where events can flow in and out, but stories that are clearly one big story, in pieces like the old days. Since hour long episodes of shows are fair game, I felt it only fair that multi parters around the same length as an hourlong special be given the same treatment. Not that any hourlongs made it this year, sorry fans of Obsidian and “Let’s Get Dangerous”, though both are throughly EXCELLENT episodes this was just a tight list. 

Okay good. So yeah the finale, split over four episodes, is an epic: taking plot threads from all season and series and weaving them into a well paced, emotoinal, finale. Like previous more serious episode the comedy’s downplayed.. but it doesen’t feel like an entirley diffrent show and works well, and the always great fluid animation was kicked up to 11 for this one.  So to make a long story short: in this series shredder is a demonic set of armor, but came back wrong at the end of last season when the food clan revivied him, so while the clan now has him back, they can’t really use him. And current head Foot Recurit, a spunky foot recruit whose failed to rank up despite being tough and ambitious and worthy of it, is at a loss how to reviive her master.  The turltes, naturally, end up accidently blundering into the solution as they head into Splinter’s head to find the info to beat Shredder. The show gives splinter easily one of , if not the best, backstories he’s ever had: While at the start the character was highly annoying, being a lazy asshole who didn’t train the boys and did nothing.. the show eventually give us valid reasons WHY he’s like this: he didn’t like being turned into a rat by big bad of season 1 Baron Draxum and thus has depresion over that, had quit fighting since he’d been forced to be a cage fighter by his ex for a while,  his ex being a giant spider just in case you thought this would be remotely normal an forgot what show we were talking about and genrally just had no horse in the tight training he usually does in most continuties. 

This episode adds another, heartbreaking lair: We find out back when he was Hamato Yoshi, Splinter’s mom left to ward off shredder when he was a boy.. and thus never came back and presumibly died. Understandably he had no time for the clan at that point, constantly defying his grandfather.. and why should he have time for them? They took his mom away for a thankless duty sacrificing herself to stop something he had no way of knowing was real, another reason he never trained the boys. And his grandfather rather than be AT all apologetic clearly, via his actions, thought of this as some great honor and was baffled why Yoshi would have no intrest in repeating his mother’s actions or have any sense of honor, duty or even love for a man who as far as he could tell, threw his mom to the wolves and had no regrets about it. So we see Yoshi as both a rebellious teen and as a movie star throwing out his grandpa.. we see those in reverse of course, but the later scenes give context to those showing why Yoshi was so rude.. because he lost his mom and it still hurts him.  HOwever helping her frees the shredder.. but also Karai who bizarely, in this continuity is not only an aincent ancestor of theres but a firm ally instead of either a deadly enemy or a fremeny of sorts. Or Splinter’s dang daughter, one of 2012′s best plot elements.. that was then wasted by turning her into a snek for a while because that show really went off the rails. So it quickly turns from a heartwarming and awkard family reunion.. to our heroes and karai barely escaping with their lives as shredder demolishes the lair, and Draxum, now a good guy after a season’s worth of wonderful chracter development, and Splinter stay behind, with Draxum cleverly bluffing and pretending ot be evil again.. only to try and take out shredder. 

Meanwhile we get this series take on “the turtles going to teh woods to retreat” as Raph beats himself up for being a bad leader and our heroes learn to tap into their hamato nimpo.. which basically means super magic ninja powers which allows them to bring back their classic weapons and enhances their magic, as it was never in teh weapons but in them all along. Also April gets Karai in her, phrasing, and a glowing boost to her bat.  The result.. is one of the best fights of both the year and the franchise PERIOD, which is what got me to catch up to see the finale because I saw a fan video synching it up to “Spin and Burst”.. and while not a naruto fan.. that song is fucking awesome and that video showed off an utterly marvelous fight. See for yourself

Seriously I wasn’t kidding. I’ve been a fan of this franchise since 2003. This is one of the best sequences in it’s history with or without the added soundtrack: The fighting is fast, frentic, beautfully animated and cool to watch and perfectly combines the series humor, with our heroes giving out quips and callbacks at the right times, with it’s fast paced and wonderous action. It also shows how far our heroes have come: while PART of it is them having super mystic powers unlocked.. they both had to work to reach those powers, and spirtually rather than phsycially,in the third part, but each power is merly an upgraded versoin of their old weapon powers, ablities they’ve spent the entire series mastering, paticuarlly leo who went from BARELY being able to work his portals to using teleport spam here. While they did pull a power BOOST out of their ass, it would’ve meant nothing had they not been anymore skileld than when they started and it makes the fight feel rewarding and impactful. And it ends with the hamot clan as a whole, with new ally foot recurit aka cassandra jones ina great last minute reveal that they CLEARLY didn’t have time to build up better, and smoke that bitch. Also Leo’s leader now bye. It’s just a damn good finale and I dind’t even get into all the great character stuff, including the great payoff of Casey’s face turn after seeing just how much of a monster the man she always wanted to serve is, and how he’s hurting Splinter, who ACTUALLY cares about her well being despite being an enemy. It’s just good stuff that fits the franchise like a glove but iwth the series own unique stamp on it. Nuff said. 

15. Toadcatcher (Amphibia)  “Your not upset because you lost the fight, your upset because you lost your friend! Your upset that Anne stood up to you and things between you will never be the same again.”  Amphibia was one of the first shows I covered reguarlly and along with Ducktales one of the most popular.. so yeah it’s weird it not only is low on the list, but this is the only represtintive. But this was a high volume year for quality and while the show had other standout episodes like gravity falls tribute “Wax Museum”, Marcy’s introduction “Marcy at the Gates” and noir patische “Little Frogtown”, as this list already shows it was a really tight race. It dosen’t help that while Season 2 isn’t terrible.. it’s a bit more uneven, and unlike season 1 it’s weaker stretches of episodes weren’t as easily covered, as instead of airing every weekday, it was a weekly release. Which I prefer, as it means they aren’t being dumped out en masse and are given room to breathe and the passage of time feels more warranted when it’s spread out over a few months intead of a few weeks. It just meant the weaker episodes stood out more and drained on me more.. but it also meant the stronger ones were all the more a breath of fresh air. And nowhere was this more apparent as teh worst episode of the season, and series, thus far, Quarallers Pass.. was paired with Toadcatcher, an utterly marvelous episode and followup to ironically the series best so far, Reunion. 

This episode catches us up with Sasha, Anne’s former best friend who tried to kill her in a sword fight, one where the entirety of wartwood including her adopted grandpa was at sake and Sasha knew this and did not care. She then followed it up by letting go when Anne was depseratley holding on, with the help of her new family, to save Sashsa’s life.. and Sasha let go. I discussed the full implications in the review so I will avoid trigggering anyone, and I mean tha tin the medical sense anyone using it ironiclaly or to mock people using it as it’s intended can get fucked, but she clearly didn’t intend to make it, but Grime saved her and spirted her off.  So we catch up with both licking their wounds from the ordeal: Sasha has decided to take the Jasper route of horrible coping mechanisms and is training constnatly, readily kiling dolls of the plantars but still unable to truly hurt Anne, burying her feelings over her guilt and her best friend rightfully turning on her and then trying to save her anyway despite Sasha trying to gut her. Grime.. is binging on the wonderfully terrible teen soap Supscion Island, coming back this january on the cw, that was intorduced last season and generally not carring the king has his best men, women and nonbinary folks out for his head. 

So both issues come to a head as General Yuaan, scourge of the Sand Wars, defeater of Ragnar the Wretched, and the youngest newt to ever achieve the rank of general in the great Newtopian Army, and she’ll never miss a chance to say that, has come for Grime whose in no condition and has no will to fight back. He also finally confronts Sasha when she snaps at him for it, pointing out she’s simply burying the fact that she lost Anne, things won’t be the same, and she won’t deal with it.  The episode adds real depth to grime, going from an intresting but semeingly just evil overlord.. to someone who worked his way out of a fighting pit to be given a thankfless if cushy job by the same people who threw him in in the first place, someone who to my shock at the time.. CARES about his protege. While allowing Sasha in was simply to their mutual advantage at first.. he’s grown to genuinely care about her as his friend and offers to let Yuaan have him so she can be free. but Sasha refuses. Despite her issues.. she CARES about the old toad and together, and using Yaan’s ham against her, they beat her, and decide to rebuild their army... after Grime finishes his soaps of course. Can.. relate. A thorughly good, throughly emotinally episode that dosen’t lack the series humor but does have a depth and rhthym to it that the series has at i’ts best. 

14. Quack Pack! (Ducktales)  Jesus I was so tired when making this I nearly forgot an entry. And shame on me as this was one of the best episodes of an already amazing Season. Season 3 is easily ducktales best and i’ve been proud to cover it. It’s been my most popular feature and while not every episodes been GREAT, only one’s really not been very good, and none have been out and out bad. While it may be the end of the shows run and not without problems, they still have trouble ballancing the adults at times if not nearly as bad as before, to the point Launchpad just sorta vanishes after Let’s Get Dangerous outside of the Christmas Specail that takes place before the season anyway, and Louie is often written VERY badly.. but i’ve talked about these things all season in my reviews.

Point is those faults are overwhelmed by the strengths; The character ballance is better, several side characters have gotten tons of payoff to their arcs and more development, and the main plot is easily the best in the series history: By having essentially one main plot with two focuses, before they merge at the halfway marker, it allows the season to be far more streamlined after the really messy way season 2′s plots were handled. It just shows the show at it’s best and has produced amazing episode after amazing episode and it was really hard to widdle it down to the ones that got selected here and even then one got left out. 

But one boost I haven’t mentioned is their wilingness to take risk. While past seasons had flashback episodes and what not this one, in hindsight, has some of the more risky episodes of the series, ones you really COULDN’T do in seasons 1 and 2: a whole episode flashback to the twins, basically taking our present day kids out for the whole season, an hour long special focusing on what, to fans not familiar with darkwing duck, is simply a very engaging side character and his new sidekick.. and launchpad (The ducks aren’t OUT of the special, but they aren’t the focus and aren’t around for most of the climax). An episode with really dark emotional moments.. which isn’t unsuaul for a disney show, see next time, but for one so close to their chest it was a lot. They were settled in enough to take plenty of risks and it’s paid off. It’s not to community levels of experimentation, but it’s still nice, intresting breaks from the usual adventures. 

And one of the best and boldest of these was Quack Pack. Taking our heroes and plopping them into a TGIF sitcom. Of which this plot not only happened TWICE this year, three times if you count the entirety of beef house, which I do so let’s call it three, but both cartoon examples are on this list. But both tackle it in diffrent and intresting ways so both got on here.  IN this case.. during a stock plot about a family photo, complete with Donald having his Don Cheadle voice back, we get some great parodies of convetions of les.s. good sitcomes nad even some of the greats: there’s the constnat catcphrases (ranging from a sticomy version of Della’s “On the moon”, to Beakly’s “I’m not a spy.. which sh’es understandably inscnesed to find out is her catchphrase) ,and even the wacky neighbor with our lord and savior Goofy showing up in the roll, as a nice nod to the more sitcom side of the Disney Afternoon. We just get a lot of good gags.. until Huey becomes aware, starting to realize things are off, with his guidebook being empty and things just not adding up. We even get a great bit of him being forced to do a disney channel/that 70′s show dance transtion only to react with exesntial horror.  Naturally, given their lives,a  genie did it, Gene, played by Jaleel White in a pefect bit of casting. Having been imprisoned in his lamp since the 90′s. Gene’s a bit behind on how sticoms work, but was just granting a wish, Donald’s wish, which the family figures out by trigggiring a flashback, Goofy VERY MUCH included. where we find out it was, unsuprisngly Donald’s fault.. though in his defense, and in the best line of the episode, when confronted about wishing for a normal life “I wish for that 30 times a day. How was I supposed to know a lamp was under me this time?”

And we find out why and it’s heartbreaking: Donald just wants a normal family, where everyone’s safe and, most tellningly “No one gets lost.”. It’s the climax of a series long HATRED of going on these adventures. For everyone else it’s fun, thriling, good stuff.. to him.. it’s not only a reminder of what cost him 10 years with his sister and his adopted sons their mom for that time, but a reminder of a lot of pain and humilation. To him he just wants the normal life he used to have back, despite that not being an option and his kids to be safe and his sister not to leave again. Granted his refusal to undo the wish is selfish.. but i’ts understandable. And while the rest of them try to break the wish, and end up fighting the horrifying audience it’s GOOFY who gets donald to see all families are diffrent and that there is no normal: just what you make and enjoy. It makes donald realize that as hectic as his life is.. it’s his life, his family.. and maybe. it’s not so bad. After years of denying how much he used to love adventuering.. he realizes part of him stilld oes and no amount of turning against it will fix what he lost... he just has to enjoy NOW. It’s good solid character development for my favioriote member of the cast, and overall a fun, genre spoofing episode that pokes fun at the genre but reallyg ets how it works. 

13. Growing Pains (Steven Universe Future)

“ What do I do? How do I move on from all the stuff I've been through? How do I live life if it always feels like I'm about to die?! “ So yeah big recap of steven’s emotional well being to get into future earlier, but rewinding a bit, this one takes place with our hero at a low point. Not “oh god I comitted murder what am I now oh god” low as we got to earlier and the series itself wold get to later, these lists make time warped and space bendeble, but still pretty damn bad.  As mentioned before Steven tried proposing to connie, not helped by Ruby and Sapphire both being fully on board, as both are hopeless romantics seprate but when combined as a Garnet their shared braincell can get working properly and has settings other than “emotoinal pain, peppy (ruby), a bit distant but kind (Sapphire) and horny”. While it was as beautiful a propsal as you’d expect from Steven.. Connie gently rejected it since you know, he also wanted to be permafused and their not even legal marrying age left. He’s 17.. despite what this episode claims. She’s 15 or 16. They aren’t ready and she knew it not even ruling it out entirely, just saying “not now”.  But as this episode bears out.. Steven really isn’t an emotinal state where he could properly process that way and after shooing her away, even though she WANTED to talk it over and genuiely make sure he was okay as she damn well knew this wasn’t easy on him, but also knew it’d probably be bad to press him while he was clearly in pain. So like everyone else she made the mistake of leaving.  So Steven’s binging on junk food, and bemoaning the fact that even dogcopter is getting married.. also Dogcopter is gay. Given the show he’s a fictional character in, you THINK i’d of been less suprised but you’d be wrong. Point is steven isn’t dealing well and is going pink and with the gems gone for the weekend, and Greg unavaliable due to being busy as a manager, Steven is getting worse and his body is starting to warp. Thanfkully connie comes to check up on him and insits he see a doctor.. and since her mother’s a doctor and thankfully had a cancelation. Unthankfully it turns out, to Prianka’s understandable frustration.. Steven’s never been to a doctor. Which does make sense, Greg taking him in might’ve alreted authorties to his lack of schooling or his injuries from age 13 onward, plus he had no idea of knowing how his body would react to tests. That being said given by this point in the series Gems are well accepted and known around town and everyone loves and adores steven, Greg had no real excuse by this age especially after the second gem war.  And that’s proven by the fact it turns out steven’s body has tons of internal scars which, due to him turning out to have a wolverine style healing factor, mean h’es alive and without brain damage, but still has plenty of internal scars. It’s a godo metaphor for his mental trauma: he came out of his various happenings ALIVE.. but not mentally okay and with PLENTY of ptsd. When Prianka asks him to list his traumas.. he dosen’t even get past season 1 before she’s understandably horrified, though she’s figured out exactly what’s causing his pink mode: as mentioned before his contstant life of danger and having the threat of a fight at any moment over his head for 2 solid years, maybe 3 given the third light game shows he still had a lot of work to do before the movie and future, and honestly still does at times during both, mean his flight or fight response has been shot so the adrenline charged pink form, meant to protect him from danger.. is triggering for EMOTIONAL pain and suffering. 

Steven dosen’t take it well and keeps enlarging when pressed.. and accidently spills the beans about the proposal... and understandably, even if she was FULLY in the right can’t be around Connie: while she had every right to reject him, it dosen’t mean it hurts any less. Sometimes even when you do the absolute right thing.. it can still hurt to be on the receiving end of that. But Connie is still Connie, aka the most emotinally  stable and mature person in the main cast very much including the sentient space rocks who are centuries older than her, so she called Greg who naturally dropped everything because his son needed him. It shows the genuine conflict, one, again that I’ve grappled with: Steven is so obssed with not boterhing those he loves, he fails to see they’ll help him when he needs it without a second thought. So Greg thankfully calms him down and taks over the failed proposal with no judgement or anything just support. Sadly things go downhill from here but it’s a good episode that turns the entire series on it’s head with some damn good character work. 

12. Annhilation of Joy (The Midnight Gospel) 

“Again? How Many times is this guy gonna die?” “Until he learns”  The Midnight Gospel was a plesant suprise. Penndelton Ward’s return to animation after leaving Adventure Time, the show is a collberation between him and podcaster Duncan Trussel. It was a suprise both in how quickly it came together, and in how it’s real nature wasn’t properly expressed in the trailers: while the series does tell us the trippy adventures of Clancy, a 40 something “Spacecaster” who uses an illegal simulator to visit worlds to interview various people.. said interviews are expercts from Trusseul’s own podcast, the Duncan Trussel Family Hour, something this series has badly made me want to listen to. As such while dealing with zombie apocalypses, a quest to avenge a dead lover, being processed as meat and meeting death herself while looking for his hose, Clancy interviews his subjects, including Death herself, and talks on various subjects related to medation and spirutality, throughly fascenating interviews greatly woven into trippy visuals. Hopefully the show will be back for round 2 at some point as both Ward and Trussel are game, but for now the first season stands on it’s own as a throughly trippy, throughly wonderful blend of Trussel’s words and insight and Ward’s boundless imagination.  And the best of these, narrowly beating out the final epsiode which uses an interview with Truseel’s late mother to inform clancy’s own actions, as Clancy’s Mom is dying from cancer same as Trussels tragically did. But I like this one slightly better due to it’s great blend of the subject with the plot. Once again Clancy is ignoring his pain, and his sister’s calls, by diving into the space vagina of his simulator, taking a weird form, and easily my faviorite of his shapeshifted forms of the season: a living rainbow that wouldn’t be out of palce in a pbs kids show, complete with the fact he makes musuical chimes when touched not unlike a children’s toy and has chosen this form to enter the simulator’s jail.  It’s there he gets engagled, literally, with Bob and Jason. Bob is an angry, upset prisoner who chewed his own tounge out years ago, and Jason is his soul bird, a represntation of his pain bound to him by blue rope that Clancy got tangled in. So Clancy is taken along for the ride with them as every time Bob dies, the celestial beings in charge of the prison put him through weird emtional torment, pluck out his heard and weigh it against  a feather plucked from jason. 

Thus while Clancy and Jason have a spirited conversation about Buddishm and about not treaing spirutality like a game with levels and having to earn progress but as an emotinal journey, Bob goes through a buddishm inspried journey of his own, mixed with a bit of edge of tommorow. He dies, gets tourtured then resets.. but slowly learns to empathize, to let go of his anger and violence and help those around him. It’s an utterly mesmering journey to watch this angry green big headed man go from a violet convict who will gladly shoot and stab.. to a pacfisit eager to help those around him. And it’s thorughly convincing and backed wonderfully by the interview and easily a sign of what this weird and unconveintonal series can do at all cyllnders. Seriously Netflix you’ve been on a loosing streak decisionmaking wise. Make. More. Of. This. 

11. Save the Cat (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) "C'mon Catra. You're not done. Not yet..."

God that image is unsettling. Anywho back to She-Ra, and somehow this is the second time i’ve had to rewind the progress of a season by about an episoide. Weird. Point is saved the cat is one of the most tightly packed and thrilling episodes of the series.. and the crux of Catra’s character arc.  Before this Catra had hit her lowest point, having lost ..j well everything. She pushed everyone from adora, to the nonambigiously a couple trio, to her own best friends away through her shitty behavior and inferoirty complex and somenoe she THOUGHT was her friend.. turned on her for money. Oh and as an added stomp on the tail all that betryal, all the blood spilled in her name.. was for nothing. Horde Prime made her irrelvant: she couldnt’ manipualte him because a combination of a god complex and an army of loyal drones meant he had nothing to hide and eyes everywhere. She had nothing. Eveyrthing she did every sacrifice she made every worse and worse turn she made a s a person... amounted to NOTHING.  So it was at this point she and glimmer, despite you know killing Glimmer’s mother, were forced to work together.. and Catra sacrificed herself both to get Glimmer safe and because for once.. she wanted to do something right. Her self loathing, some of it warranted, a lot of it already there from an abusive childhood, left her with one option: sacrifice herself and HOPE, something good can come of it, Apologize to Adora, hte one person she ever loved and hope she can at least surivive this.  Naturally, Adora having seen her friend/love of her life has not only REALIZED what she become, but sacrifice herself.. isn’t having this, and after an episode of repairs both on the ship and emotinally, our heroes are naturally, despite any personal hangups with her ready to save Catra. Naturally this hits snags. On Bow and Entrapta’s end, they accidently free a horde clone she mistakes for hordak and, having no other real option and with the guy being useful, Wrong Hordak is born! I love me some Wrong Hordak. What a guy, makes you cry, und I did. 

The main issue though is Adora let herslef be captured.. only to find Horde Prime is a sadstic bastard and has not only chipped Catra, but is using her newfound peace of mind to play with adora’s head, using Catra’s heartbreak from the past to manipulate Adora in the present.. and force them to fight because hey he’s a sadistic jackass with a god complex. They make their own fun.  But Adora gets through to her .. only for Prime to decide fuck it and try killing her with Adora BARELY saving her with her power, and Catra, as she fades, wondering why Adora even bothered. And the why is simple.. as a wise fictional version of a wise president once said “Dying is easy young man, living is harder”. Not the last time that quote will be relevant in this top 20 list, but the point, and it was delebrate on Noelle Stevenon’s part, was to subvert this kind of thing> The bad guy gets redemption but then dies seconds later. Instead.. Catra has to LIVE with what she did and make up for it, become a better person and work for redepmtion, instead of just getting to end in some big blaze of glory. But at the same time.. it’s the better route. The harder one sure.. but she gets to have a life and to undo the damage and maybe for once.. actually live instead of just trying to surivive. IT was the right call in a series full of them. 

But yeah the day is saved, our heroes have two new roomates and Catra weakly greats Adora.. but with genuine warmth for the first time in .. years I guess? I don’t know this series time span. Point is the healing and the ship tease for our finale can begin and this episode is a tense, well put together masterwork. The pacing really is what put it up this far, as it really ratchets up the tension, and being the last season, meant there was no guarantee anyone, including catra, was going to make it. Excellent stuff all around. 

So that’s where we leave off for now. i’ll be PUTTING PART 2 HERE WITH A LINK. once i’ts finished For now watch this space and..