#why don’t they tell me

[house-of-slayterr]

Bruh why do my doctors never tell me shit. They just be handing me papers for things…

What do you mean I have a “motor tic disorder”… when we’re they gonna tell me about this? It’s not even the main thing on the paper, it’s just been sitting in the footnotes all this time-

Pardon? What you mean homie? Explain!

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[cassandracain52]

Reverse trope

where instead of the Bats forgetting that they’re adopted (something actual adoptees do on occasion and is hilarious) they forget that some of them *cough Damian cough* aren’t

_______

Jason in the heat of a probably ridiculous argument: Yeah well YOU’RE adopted!

Tim just as invested in said argument: So are YOU! We all are!

Damian who had previously been quietly watching this unfold while he drank his tea: Actually I’m not

Tim and Jason who didn’t realize he was there but are already DoneTM: …… Damian continuing to sip his tea entirely unbothered: :)

Damian: Because I’m not an orphan-

Jason: ok, yoU KNOW WHAT-

____

or like in their group texts (that we know they have thanks to Nightwing (2016) #79)

*Steph changed the group chat name to “Bruce Wayne’s Personal Orpanage”*

Jason: Really?

Steph: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Steph: It’s the truth Damian: Both my parents are very much alive

Steph: Shhh you don’t count

Cass: Mine too Duke: Technically so are mine

Barbara: I still have a dad so there’s that

Steph: YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE JOKE

Tim: Stephanie aren’t BOTH of your parents alive???

Steph: KNOW WHAT? FINE

*Steph changed the group chat name to “The Technicality Police”*

Tim: well that’s more accurate at least

Steph: :)

_____

Damian in his 10th argument with Tim of the day: That’s- this is-

Tim in full Antagonizing Big Brother mode: I’m listening

Damian -a Gen Z and best friend to Jon Kent- extremely frustrated: This is such Motherless behavior!

Tim taken aback: [voice cracking] W-what-?

Damian who didn’t mean to say that but doubling down anyway because his bloodline doesn’t believe in admitting mistakes: THIS! This is such Motherless behavior!

The rest of the family who is also motherless: :O

Cass whose been spending way too much time with Meme Queen Stephanie Brown and not involved in the argument but finding it entertaining regardless: [nodding along seriously] Facts

Tim: [visibly betrayed] CASS WHAT-

A video copy of the interaction gets sent out anonymously to the entire family. Barbara is the prime suspect but there is no proof as of yet (and they will never find any)

Steph, Cass, and Duke continue to respond “Motherless behavior” everytime one of the bats does something they deem questionable/insane. It is said often

It only stops when one night in the middle of patrol. Batman is in full Dark Knight mode (possibly in the middle of threatening someone) and descends from the ceiling into the middle of a warehouse drug deal, dark cape billowing out behind him-

and Steph just automatically whispers “Motherless behavior” forgetting her com was still very much on

She immediately realizes what she said and frantically apologizes but it’s too late.

Bruce just- Blue Screens. Completely stunned into silence

Dick -who was unfortunate enough to be the one teamed up with Batman tonight- is fighting for his life to choke back his laughter

Jason doesn’t even try to stop his and has collapsed to his knees from lack of air from how hard he’s laughing. Cass try’s half heartedly patting his back to help to no avail

The criminals are terrified into surrender from The Red Hood just laughing hysterically at seemingly nothing while Batman just Stands There

Damian ends up being the only one still functioning enough to continue arresting everyone, though he is privately amused and strangely proud

Tim and Barbara have saved both the com recordings and cowl footage to at least three different servers and sent it to absolutely everyone before Batman even recovers

Duke finds out second hand the next morning and is furious he missed the chance to see it in person. He declares he is moving to the nightshift so it doesn’t happen again. (He is all talk and goes to bed by 9 pm)

Bruce bans the phrase for life and promises swift and server punishment to anyone who dares to use it again

[jacksnotmyname]

“I’ll save you the pain of watching your demon b die”

Lute thinks it is a mercy to die rather than see the one you care for most die.

Vaggie let Lute live.

Lute saw Adam die.

[deviouz]

Imagine, sex with Jason and he's loud. And I mean loud loud. He's whining, whimpering, and doing literally everything just get you to do more to him, whatever you want just do more to him

THIS ‼️‼️

adding a cut bc i am an absolute fiend for one (1) jason todd (:<

it gets so much worse when he’s underneath you too. like, one hand on your hip with his other arm thrown over his eyes because it’s just too much for him to handle. cheeks all flushed and mouth left agape while he pants and whines and begs and pleads, occasionally dropping in praise after praise because he’s obsessed with how your hips stutter.

and because i’m a switch jason todd truther (!!!!), imagine how flustered he would get when you lean over him and pin his hands above his head? he’s more than capable of breaking free (have you seen his arms, oh my god) but he stays put because he just wants to be good for you ):

“c’mon, jay, tell me what you want. you can do that, can’t you?”

he’d look up at you with hazy eyes and a pleasure-struck expression, gasping when you rolled your hips just right. it’s taking every ounce of willpower he has to not buck his hips up into your addictive heat. surely you recognize that. you can see how good he’s being for you, right? won’t you relent a little?

“ah, fuck,” he gives a full-bodied shudder when you giggle at him, “anything, i want anything. please, angel, just use me-”

[boomposhpow]

stanley pines the man you are

a better son/daughter by Rilo Kiley

[doctorsiren]

I loved your headcannons about inukawa, reigen and reigens sister and I would really like to see what you think would happen if mob and reigens sister met and I was wondering if you could possibly draw them :D

hello yes I accidentally made a comic after seeing this ask yesterday 😁 bro psychoanalyzed her 😨

[rystiel]

i feel like poolverine easily could’ve been one of those “they’re flirty but it’s mostly unserious” situations, and for most of the movie yeah they were extremely gay, but wade’s been like that with other guys and it was never treated as a serious type of relationship before. they’re willing to die for each other, but even then the romantic aspect of their relationship could be glossed over because it’s a superhero movie, that’s just what they do, and they’re working together to save a whole timeline—it’s not just about them. but then the movie doesn’t end with them saving the day and moving on. i think this’s really the part that sells poolverine as a genuine relationship to me… logan’s leaving, and wade calls for him. he can’t stand to let him go. then he introduces him to his family, and logan stays. he doesn’t really need to stay, but they’ve both decided they’re better off with one another than without

[bamboo-bees]

yes, i love my boys

[margoshansons]

Dreamfyre you’re still the mother of Daenerys’s dragons in my heart and will be until GRRM comes out of his hole to tell me otherwise

[frottingfemme]

shorter mascs and butches, let me hug you from behind and peer over your shoulder at whatever task you’re doing. Later you can rest your head on my shoulder while we dance, and I’ll let you push me down on the couch and have your wicked way with me (or vice versa 💖), then we can spoon in bed however you like, I’ll be big spoon with my head tucked close to your shoulder, or you’ll be big spoon with your forehead pressed to my spine.

I am begging y’all to let me love on you

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

atp phil’s like “ffs i wish i could hit you with a car then i wouldn’t have to be stuck with your annoying dramatic ass 🙄”

[vildo]

Remember the look Kirk gave Spock when he found out about Leila?

and how he stared her down LIKE THIS afterwards

Since they didn’t specify why Kirk was the only one immune to spores, I’m gonna take it so far as to say it had no effect on him because he was so mad at Spock about this

[the-great-horse-cocktail]

Alternate timeline where Stanley doesn’t accidentally ruin Ford’s project but he still doesn’t get into Geek Life University bc some kid showed up with a baking soda volcano

[casp1an-sea]

[stuckinapril]

why is the extreme reactionary opposite opinion the one yall seem to be taking? i dont think anyone has EVER said that ALL of the fundraisers are fake, but do you legitimately believe that every single one is real? is that not an equally silly stance on the scam website?

Can you shut the fuck up im actually so sick of you people who lack reading comprehension