#why does this scene make me CRY
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You read the book? Yes, I did.
#ouatedit#onceuponatimeedit#rumplestiltskinedit#henrymillsedit#ouat#ouat s7#once upon a time#rumplestiltskin#henry mills#s7#7x16 breadcrumbs#character: rumplestiltskin#dynamic: henry rumplestiltskin#event: rewatch 22#why does this scene make me CRY
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#trent crimm#ted lasso#coach beard#nate shelley#nathan shelley#willis beard#roy kent#tedlassosource#tedlassoedit#tedlassogifs#trentcrimmedit#the coloring is kind of ass bc i kind of slapped the same thing over everything and then got distracted lkgjfgh but. it's. fine. it's fine#why does ted look better than everyone else i didn't even like. do it on his clip. what the fuck#ANYWAY#this scene makes me fucking cry btw#gert giffer#like. what the hell. trent's voice when he says 'thank you'#the adorable little smiles between him and nate#trent just. being so sure they wouldnt want him there. etc. im dying. crying. sobbing. wailing.#smallscreensource#userblorbo#tvarchive#comfortblr
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5 for the isat ask game!
5 - What's your favorite optional event?
VERY TOUGH ONE TO ANSWER. I'm gonna go right ahead and disqualify twohats bc it's a predictable answer. If I had to choose just one though I think it'd probably be the sus event. It really got my goat on my first playthrough bc I didn't realize you had to do it in ACT 4. If I remember correctly I think sus is the only optional event locked to ACT 4??? Now that I've actually done it though I'm quite fond of it.
Sus event is one that you really have to go out of your way to do. It kind of reminds me of the True Ending in SASASAP but More and I'm sure that's intentional. Like the requirements for sus quest necessitate that you're going to do it, if not the loop before ACT 5, very soon before it. You have to know pretty much everything about Time Craft and Wish Craft already, so whatever you're doing in the loops now is basically taking out any optional stuff before you hit the end. You have to pretty thoroughly remember how the script goes just so you know all the best ways to break it. I feel like if the True Ending route is Loop going through the motions so many times that they can't deal with holding their facade together any longer, the sus route is Siffrin waving a big red flag around for help. There's just no way you're going to stumble into sus without preplanning what to do to rack up your points and make Odile aware of how Wish Craft works.
So I think it's interesting how much Siffrin pushes back against Odile trying to figure him out. It's a pattern of behavior that I am well aware of where you're desperately going "HELP ME" but you're not willing to accept it when it's offered to you.
Siffrin spends an entire loop screwing everything up, to a point that's frankly kind of egregious even by Late Stage Timeloopers standards, and then they can't reckon with the consequences of it. I don't think sus event is as intentional of a cry for help for Siffrin as it is the player, mind you. But I do think it's. Very tragic. Yeah of course "it's too late" in the sense that Siffrin's about to talk to Euphie and the whole journey will end, but moreso it's that by the time that Odile can piece together all the information necessary to figure Siffrin out, Siffrin is just far too deeply entrenched in his self hatred and fear of abandonment to be dug out. I think if Odile could somehow figure it out in, like, early ACT 3, or if Isabeau was just a bit more pushy in getting Siffrin to do a feelings talk, maybe they'd actually be able to reach Siffrin a little. But they're always just a little too late, every single time.
I think the fact that you start really getting a bunch of weird points in ACT 3 gives this event a lot of buildup. For potential dozens of loops you'll see Odile brush against the truth of the situation, and then just barely miss. By the time she figures it out, it's too late. Explodes
Expounded upon slightly more in tags bc I don't like typing in post bodies I feel like a fish on land. eek
#asks#ask game#ive been forgetting 2 tag my asks. smh#Sorry ocean that this took a while to answer i got lost in the sauce (rereading dialogue in rpgmaker)#i spent way too long writing this and i dont think i even touched on the guts of why this scene gets to me. tbh#it's just like. idk i've been there#doing shit not even really on purpose to kind of flag other people like Hey i'm doing bad#and then they're like hey are you doing bad and it's like. Oh fuck well now they know and they'll want me to die. i gotta get outta here#very relatable siffrin momence. never a good thing#like i realize that siffrin was literally like 'i don't think i want ur help' and then i kept calling their actions a cry for help#but like that's what it is. i can't read susquest as anything else. i don't think those two things contradict either#desire to be helped versus desire to not be perceived/not be a burden on others.#wanting help but not wanting to BE helped? does that make sense. am i saying words#it's like how loop wanted help so badly they lost everything in pursuit of it when all they had to do was be honest with their friends.#idk. kicks rock around#isat spoilers
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VERY RAMBLY BUT I think rose and martha are like the inverse of one another in terms of narrative, in that they both meet a doctor who is deeply deeply hurt, but the doctor interacts with them about it so differently, because of where they're at with that hurt, and the doctor is like "hey, I'm suave and vulnerable beneath the surface, which is quite attractive, want to travel in space and time in my whimsical timeship?" and they both go "oh heck yes!" and then it's like splintered glass from that point on, like martha lives in a funhouse mirror of rose's story -- up until she makes it her own of course and she does call the doctor out on it relatively early on, although rose continues to have that haunting effect
so rose has this bubble created around her that is perfect and unchangeable almost, in which nothing bad can ever happen (except for all the times it does but huuush, we'll be together forever forrealsies don't look at that big ol hurricane hurtling our way), which then inevitably bursts, but is always there-as-memory, because rose becomes something of an impossible ideal to some extent
and martha isn't protected at all, and has all the badness spilling out on her because the doctor is unable to contain any of it (and maybe is relieved to finally give up on being strong), and subsequently all of the promise of wonder has an air of sourness to it, and the doctor will always feel incredibly guilty about how it all ended
but crucially there's a lot they have in common, that is quite different to, say, donna (who is woven in in her own, interesting, way) -- they both become attracted to this powerful, interesting, and suuuper traumatised being, they're both taken along on a journey of promised wonders, they're both incredibly reliable to the point that the narrative is retroactively fitted around how much the doctor's belief-systems revolve around belief in their companions, with many others from the past given their dues (starting with sarah-jane), and they both do see wonders beyond their comprehension (and so does donna, but again, there's something a bit different there to poke at in another post...),
except where for rose this wonder helps her break out of the path that was set down for her and become who she always had the potential to be in a way that is mostly framed as a positive (although with some -- I think -- under-analysed caveats...) and she will be forever thankful for the doctor arriving in her life, martha's is more like an awe that the universe is so hostile and so lonely and so heartbreaking, and so she needs to become more resilient and more ready to make choices that are terrible (from travelling the broken world for a year to the osterhagen key....), and so there's another story about someone who becomes strong and tough (just like rose) but it's because the doctor wasn't really able to be there for her, and while I don't think the show (from memory) ever has her totally regretting the doctor dropping into her life, there for sure is some solemnity to how her story ends, a bit of a dampener in comparison (even tbh in comparison to donna, who yeah, gets her memory taken, but is suggested -- now confirmed perhaps? -- to get more of her life in order/feel more self-confident, also partially because of that subliminal influence of her time with the doctor)
and this isn't to say that it's all-bad for martha! her working for UNIT and Torchwood has a lot of very interesting facets to it, and she is fulfilling her potential to be this impressive, capable person, but the ways all of this was built up to is so heartrending
rose coming in and "saving" the doctor, except it was a bit of a lie, because the second she wasn't there they crashed even harder than before, and martha coming in with the idea that she could save the doctor and walking away when realising what it was doing to her life, and both rose and martha irrevocably changed to the point that the person pre-doctor is barely recognisable in them anymore, both take on the doctor's self-sacrificial traits...
and also the idea that rose gets the fantasy, but it's the fantasy a-bit-to-the-left (funhouse again) because there's always something a bit disconcerting about the lengths the doctor goes to to maintain the bubble, to the point of offering up the alternate-him/tentoo so that she can still have it, even though the actual physical doctor that shared it with her isn't actually there! and martha gets the glimpse of the fantasy, and then has to come to terms with the fact that she's not the person it's "for" and reassess her relationship to the idea of a fantasy in the first place (it helps that martha is an incredibly practical, pragmatic person, but it's still so... ouch)
I don't think it was intentional, but this also fascinating from the perspective of rose as a white woman and martha as a black woman -- who is the fantasy for, to the extent that strange and universe-breaking events go into maintaining it, and who has to be practical and pragmatic and self-reliant?
and also, it's got more tragedy in both cases -- rose as a spectre/haunter of the narrative is always a little bit intangible when she's looked back on (even though in the story she's in she's incredibly real and well-rounded, every time I go back to s1 I am struck by how grounded she is in reality), and I think that's something interesting in terms of her mother's warning in s2, how if she travels with the doctor "forever" she'll become something else, something not her
and martha's mother warns her as well, although she's not completely sure of what, and in contrast to rose this warning comes into very painful fruition, harming her entire family (except, maybe her brother? I wonder if there's anything written about that), but where rose is so omnipresent, martha tries several times to take herself out
(also something about both of their mothers being their anchor-points)
there's something there that's at the centre of both rose's and martha's arcs:
is the change they're going through because of the doctor... good? good for them? good for their families? good as in they're becoming better people than before? good for the world they inhabit? is it good for the person they used to be? did they become better than that person? can they ever truly deal with or even begin to comprehend how these events made them who they are? can they even connect who they are now to who they were then? was this good?
they both become these larger-than-life people, somewhat without noticing on both parts (but the narrative does notice), one of them a ghost, and the other a soldier -- one of them an increasingly intangible, ever-present idea, and the other someone who has to fight every step of the way
it's just a bunch of things I've had going through my head that I can't quite formulate in coherent essay-like sentences, but for sure it's there
opposite sides of the coin, rose tyler and martha jones
I do wish they'd had space in the story for them to talk
#martha jones#rose tyler#doctor who#dw#i also wish they'd had space in the narrative for them to make out but youknow#i know that rose and tentoo is generally interpreted as a net-positive -- including in a subsequent comic#but it was always very eerie to me#this also to deal with the fact that while i looove martha's arc in s4#hers was the weakest goodbye scene in the final episode imo#because the pair the spares makes it seem like there wasn't a lot of thought put into it/where she is now#and like sure they're both hanging out with jack at torchwood but it's so out of the blue#and then she finishes up with a gun in her hand -- far cry from where we met her even in poison sky#working for UNIT but! --- but does fit somewhat from where we saw her end s4 when she was ready to destroy the world#but it's still sort of disconnected from the story? why is she there? why is there a sontaran there? why gun and not medicine? questions#questions for which the answer presumably was: because she looks badass but i need More than that! I need Answers!#argh martha i want so badly for them to at least mention you in the specials. where are you 🥺🥺🥺#gun to your head rtd do it!#doctor who meta
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*screams into the void*
#the way he like seems to be choking back a sob of emotions before he says this#he can't bear the fact that he's causing her pain#and that there's nothing he can do to stop it#even though talking openly would help her but he can't do that#because if he does he would have to be vulnerable and if he's vulnerable aelswith might think him weak#which is something he knows she abhors (even though she hates it because of her own feelings of being seen as weak and unworthy)#and he can't bear her rejection because he loves her and if she were to reject him it would destroy him#he can be this open with uhtred because its a manipulation tactic#he's using vulnerability to get uhtred to do what he wants and thats why he can be so open in this scene. he's doing it strategically#but to be open with aelswith leaves him (in his mind) open to losing her since he's caused her so much pain throughout their marriage#and he would have to face the fact that he's done that and she might not forgive him and he can't do that#aelswith is so upset in this scene because she thinks its his final way of saying to her “you aren't worthy” when really its a tactic#to help ensure that she and their children will be safe#but they literally cannot properly communicate with each other because of all of the painful history between them#I'm going insane#I love them so much#they are everything to me#literally everything#he loves her so much#like he could not survive losing her - just the way he clings to her all throughout s3 speaks to that#I really think that because of the similarities between uhtred and aelswith uhtred's betrayal makes him start to fear that he could lose he#and he just starts to cling to her for reassurance that she'll never leave and she won't stop believing in him#ok I'm done#for now#I'm crying#your honor I love them#they mean so much to me
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Demyx (my beloved)
#kingdom hearts#demyx#honestly is there an organization member i dont like? not really tbh#ok i lied maybe one but even then i find him fascinating so even he gets a pass#demyx being such a good boy who doesnt actually care for fighting then having the whole kh3 thing#where he has the yellow eyes but still just helps the good team vaguely then dips out of the entire game#where did he go and why .... what secrets do you hold young man#i should replay kh3 cause there are things i think i remember but idk for sure#like wasnt there actually a scene where hes just... been benched for being bad at being bad or smth#i really remember a scene where either he says or someone else is like oh yeah he got benched lol#like why does he have to be so funny yet get so little screen time im dying squirtle#though for the record him just handing a mannequin to even and saying peace out for the rest of the game WAS hilarious#this is me living the best time line where not only does demyx just dip and never get mentioned from anyone#but also in an otome i played theres a route where my fave guy just also dips early on#and then in the very end some other LI asks another LI what happened to him btw like where did he go#and the another LI was like oh my god i forgot about him idk man#my favorites just making an appearance and leaving is really funny to me#these tags got super long bc im very stressed and now devoting brain power to vgs in order to not cry
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modern clarence | true love's kiss
The one where you kiss the merman awake, and in return, he wipes away your tears. Meanwhile, William is both oblivious and confused.
2.3k, alternate scene in clarence's azure island route, angst + humor, reader is mc, series: none
WAITING IS A TERRIFYING GAME.
You take Clarence's hand in yours, desperately trying to think of anything but the half-coherent fears buzzing around in your ear. They whisper the same thing over and over again, deliberately circumventing the semi-comforting words of the young medic who had teased you earlier.
He is fine now, but what if.
What if, what if, what if—
Amidst the constant chanting, you make a note to throttle your boyfriend. Honest and deliberate communication can come afterwards, once he's realized how much he worried you. It's a good thing you've developed a habit of listening to your instincts—what if you hadn't been waiting for him on the beach? What if something far worse had happened to him?
Gnawing at your bottom lip, you curse his usual tendencies—so very Clarence that they remind you that this is the man you fell in love with.
"Wake up, or I'll go date William instead," you threaten, in a hushed whisper.
Your voice cracks early on, though it's not as though its trembling quality could lend itself to a threat anyways. Leaning over, you brush his wet bangs out of his face lovingly. Then, your hand slides down with a gentle carress and cups his cheek, wiping away the water dripping from his hair.
With color slowly returning to his lips, you can allow yourself to appreciate his handsome face in an effort to pass the time. Now, you can almost imagine he's asleep, much like the princess in Sleeping Beauty—quietly awaiting the true love's kiss that'll wake him up.
CPR, that is, you correct yourself.
Due to your mistake, your cheeks take to burning, as though the shame flooding through your system will temper your own tendencies. You dare not accept the reminder of the medic's words that your brain helpfully offers you. Instead, you barrel onwards, as if it never existed.
"Ten seconds," you murmur. It sounds like a promise. "I'll kiss the merman—ahem, perform CPR in ten seconds."
A bit too faithfully, unfortunately.
With a grimace, you squeeze Clarence's hand gently. The humor behind your blunder had briefly calmed you down, but as your countdown begins, you find yourself back at square one. You really will throttle him.
In lieu of reaching for his neck, you pull at his cheek gently, just enough that it soothes your worry. Not once does he stir—and perhaps that's what emboldens you. Slowly, the distance between the two of you shrinks, and you are so preoccupied by the almost hypnotic hold your repetition has on you that you don't notice.
But when you do—
I can count his lashes, you realize, blinking away the familiar burning sensation in your eyes.
By now, you've lost track of where you were—both in terms of the countdown and your surroundings. There are people on the beach, but, perhaps, having sensed your volatile emotions, they do not dare cross over to the little spot on the beach you have to yourselves. You start counting again, expertly dodging the temptation of kissing your beloved.
10, 9, 8...
When you reach the final number—zero, not one—you reluctantly let go of his hand. And, mirroring your other hand, the newly-freed one comes to rest on his cheek. The mole underneath his eye disappears under your trembling thumb.
When you hit zero, you finally allow yourself to kiss the merman.
SOMEONE IS KISSING HIM.
This, Clarence surmises even without opening his eyes. They're touching his face too, as if even the rarest of treasures are incomparable to him, even as they tremble against him. He knows, instantly, that it is you.
Who else would touch him so lovingly? And who else has touched him so lovingly?
When he opens his eyes, Clarence is rewarded for his guess by the sight of you leaning over him.
Your eyes are closed; unshed tears cling to your delicate lashes, quietly asking him to do something about them. There's little time to be flustered. Yet, paradoxically, it is the best time to be flustered. Your lips are soft and they taste of your favorite chapstick—the one you obsessively put on when you're stressed.
Somehow, though he doubts the formula changes every other day, it tastes sweeter each time he rediscovers it.
For a moment, he closes his eyes, lifting his hand up in the air, just above your arm. His cheeks are still warm, and his ears even warmer, when he rethinks his move and finally fulfills the request.
You open his eyes, startled by his gesture.
"Clarence?" you sputter out weakly, once you've established some distance between them both.
He has half a mind to point out the irony of the moment, before you go ahead and wipe your tears away. His gaze fixes itself upon your hands, clad in the same protective gear as his own. The warmth he felt from your touch would've had him believing otherwise, if he did not have his sight to fall back upon.
Hoping to find something to occupy himself with, he reaches for his glasses. They are, of course, not there—he'd replaced them for contacts before he went diving.
Thankfully, you seem oblivious to his blunder as you wring your hands, desperately looking for an excuse.
"That's, um—"
The black diving suit you're wearing contrasts sharply against the gold and orange of the evening sky. It was early in the afternoon when he dove into the waters, and then—the gears begin to turn in his head, reminding him of how he'd collapsed into your arms. Some leniency, he thinks, is deserved.
"CPR," Clarence says slowly, feeling a sharp twinge of pain in his head as he sits up. "Is that not what you were doing?"
You look at him, clearly bewildered. Soon, as scarlet blooms across your cheeks, you're diving into the crook of his neck with a groan. There's some kind of inside joke he's missing, but he can't find it in himself to worry about it too much.
"Don't," you say fiercely, "ever do that again."
As you adjust yourself against him, your body now pressed up against his, your grip on his diving suit tightens. Coherency leaves him that same moment—all he knows to do is wrap his arms around your trembling form and softly call out your name.
At some point, he'll tell you all that he's learned. About your mother. About the strange python he'd encountered, the one that seemingly shared his voice. But for now, it is just you and him, bathed in the rosy hue cast out by the sun, and—
"Thank you for waking up."
WHEN YOUR SNIFFLING SUBSIDES, CLARENCE begins to delve into the series of events that led him to stumble into your arms. You listen intently, only ever interrupting him to offer your own conclusions.
That is, until he admits he'd like to face anything and everything in his path with you.
Your sentiments are well-practiced; your only argument, compelling. It's true—you are his lover, and you do occupy an entirely different tier within his heart. There is no one else he'd trust more to watch his back. You cannot do that if you're not by his side.
You offer him your pinky and he links his own with it.
"Okay," he says softly. "I promise, my lover."
Your eyes narrow fondly at him. Slipping your pinky out of his grip, you throw your hands around him. It seems you're still shaken up by the experience, and Clarence—having already put himself in your shoes and concluded that he'd act no differently—can understand why.
"Okay," you repeat. You've both changed out of your diving suits, having exchanged them for your usual summerwear somewhere in between the two events. "I'm going to hold you to it."
"Alright."
His assumption that his agreement marks the end of their conversation soon turns out to be false. You hug him tighter, leaving your soft hair with more opportunities to tickle his cheek. After a momemt, you sheepishly admit:
"It, um, wasn't CPR."
Clarence can feel his cheeks warm up again. You're faring no better, though it'd be easy to miss with the way you're hiding your face. It's hardly the first time you've kissed each other—though the heightened emotions make for what is perhaps one of the most unforgettable ones yet.
"I know," he admits.
"Okay," you say, clearing your throat. The words come out rushed and awkward. He thinks back to when you rendered him speechless in the Student Council's clubroom and wonders how he could pull off the same thing. "Glad we had this talk."
When he can't think of anything witty to add to the conversation, Clarence simply admits the truth.
"I liked it," he says. You inhale sharply, and he thinks he might've pulled his objective off through sheer, disarming honesty. "Though, next time, I'd like to do it when we're both happy. I...know it's my fault, but—I dislike seeing you cry."
You call out his name, and next time comes faster than he was expecting.
PERHAPS IT'S DUE TO THE recent revelation you bestowed upon him that William can't help but take note of the distance between the two of you. Your hands are still intertwined, though, proving the truth behind what you'd said to him earlier.
He has—
He has a lot of questions. Like, actually, a lot. As in, actually, he'd spent the entire time preparing a quiz worthy of the Student Council President.
Because if it's true, then he's calling dibs on being the best man at the wedding. And William sure hopes it is because he's already made plans to become Uncle William to any of your future children, whether they're of the human or cat variety. The ship has sailed for yours and Clarence's current, combined brood of cats, but he'll try hard regardless.
His progress with Beanie was looking quite promising when he'd visited you before the trip, after all. He's tentatively excited about the play date he's scheduled for himself after the trip.
The only problem is, he can't really wrap his head around it. How? And why? Is Clarence even capable of seduction?
As he plops down onto the sand, now much cooler than it had been in the morning, William makes a show of scolding Clarence. The scary dark mage of the Student Council doesn't need to know that he almost burned a misshapened circle through the rug in his room. Besides, how often does he get the upperhand?
Never.
He nods decisively. Right, never.
Thanks to the setting sun, your faces have taken on a reddish hue. And while the fear of potentially losing Clarence—one he can relate to—has rendered you unable to speak without introducing a shrilly note to your voice, the guilt of leading you to that point has left Clarence unable to go a sentence without coughing politely into his clenched hand.
It must've been bad.
You must've been downplaying it when you texted him. It'd been a short message, straight to the point. For a moment, William almost convinced himself it was Clarence before he remembered that the president does not text without proper punctuation.
(And for a small, small fee, William thinks he could be persuaded to remember that scene a bit more clearly—so long as news of it does not reach Clarence's ears.)
"Alright," he says, temporarily putting his plans for a pop quiz on hold, "I think it's time we went back to the hotel. I'm exhausted, Clarence. Do you know hard it was to stare at my phone for so long?"
To William's surprise, his fellow Student Council member smiles faintly. It's a bit strange looking at him without glasses on, as if something is just undeniably wrong with the very fabric of time and space itself.
"Thank you, William," Clarence says, and the pink-haired boy is left to blink confusedly. Something really is wrong. "I'm sorry to have worried you."
"Worried?" he sputters out, his own cheeks growing warm. "I—okay, maybe I was a little worried."
"A little," you echo. Your intentions are hardly as sincere as your boyfriend's—and gah, that's still weird. "Just enough to want to go looking out for him in my stead, right?"
As the couple begins to smile, now looking eerily similar to each other, William hurriedly stands up. The colors of the setting sun don't cling to their faces nearly as much as they once did. Whatever awkwardness was between them seems to have vanished, almost instantaneously.
He can't help but think that his upper hand is no longer his.
"Anyway, I'm starving!" he says, pointing in the direction of a nearby restaurant. The two of you have already changed out of your diving suits, so he figures it won't take too long to get served. "Since this is all Clarence's fault, I think he should pay!"
The man in question chuckles and easily agrees to William's request. Then, as another reminder of his new relationship status, Clarence looks over at you, and William swears he can see hearts in his eyes.
Squinting, he wonders, Should I have been worried about you instead?
Clearly, something spooky had happened when his fellow student council member went to look at the totems. That means—and the pink-haired student shudders at the thought—there's clearly some truth to the legends. And if magic is real, then—
Maybe the dark mage of the Student Council is not Clarence, but you.
"Are you coming?" you call out, cutting through his thoughts. You and your boyfriend are both standing, with an expectant look in your gazes. "I thought you were starving."
He squints at you for a moment. At your kind smile and much gentler countenance, compared to the guy you've decided to date. So what if you tease him sometimes? It just means you feel close to him.
Yup, that sounds right. Having made his decision, he nods to himself and says:
"There's no way!"
When he finally joins his waiting friends and they ask him what he was mumbling about, he only assures them they have nothing to worry about.
#fics by aya#lovebrush chronicles#lovebrush chronicles x reader#for all time#for all time x reader#clarence clayden#clarence clayden x reader#lovebrush clarence x reader#lovebrush clarence#lbc clarence#lbc clarence x reader#rambles from here on ->#um. i can explain (no i can't)#I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST WANTED MC TO BE SAD OKAY#she's already panicking when clarence wakes up then calms down because there's time to get out of their clothes#here? she's a goner. SHE'S GONE. he stays asleep/fainted for longer and she's kissing him thinking please please wake up#which is. why she's crying. that's my excuse and i'm sticking to it#also william is there because i needed someone to um. point out that they're embarassed.#was originally not going to make the “i kissed you” scene but. um#GAJSJSHSHS I JUST WANTED THEM TO BE EMBARASSED#btw i can't recall if. they have kissed before. but you can't tell me they haven't#i think all the boys are supposed to get their first kiss w the picturas but. it just does not make sense for clarence#considering the scene and the pictura#therefore he has definitely kissed mc before
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I am just. chewing over and over again the connotations to Taash alternating between ‘mother’ and ‘Tama’
#there’s something so fucking interesting regarding language there#the Qun doesn’t have a word for mother so Shathann utilised tamassaran#and TALKS about how she wasn’t raised as one so she doesn’t know how to be this role#���you used to call me Tama’ / ‘she’s not my priest!’#but Shathann tries to be a priest to Taash because that’s what she understands this approximation to ‘mother’ to be#and it’s so.#taash uses them interchangeably but also with an awareness TO language which makes SENSE considering them coming into their nb identity#I think so much about the scene where like#shathann says perhaps you’re aqun-athlok and taash’s response hits so hard because like#there’s no word in the qun a non gendered caste role#you can be rightfully recognised as trans but only if that adheres to your working caste role and it’s gendered nature#and you can just SEE like. a part of Taash is crying out in that moment why can’t you see me for who I am#why is your understanding of me confined to a binary#honestly like. the dehumanisation of the qun and antaam hurts taash’s story SO much because we can’t truly grapple with expanding upon the#Qun and expected roles and the confinement of that and WHY the antaam broke away#because we’re too busy trying to hand wave them as inhuman enemies#and it just does the confrontation between tassh#and the dragon king and EVERYTHING about shokra toh ebra a massive disservice#because only some of our qunari and the qun is afforded humanisation#god this game. I love it but GOD#tunes titters#veilguard spoilers#tunes talks critical
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“Even if other people don’t forgive you, you need to learn to forgive yourself.” - Team’s mother
But Team can’t forgive himself. He doesn’t know how, and so he goes to Ton’s grave to look for forgiveness from someone who can’t give it to him. (I’m crying.) Not to mention the way he runs away when he hears someone else coming to visit Ton’s grave, like he doesn’t have a right to be there, grieve there. (I’m still crying.)
Then he’s crying behind that bush as he looks at the gold medal that should have belonged to Ton. He feels like he’s stolen everything from Ton from his life to this gold medal. He doesn’t feel like he deserves anything, or has earned anything for himself. It’s all a debt that he’s desperately trying to repay, because he survived and Ton didn’t. It’s all so overwhelming, and he wishes that he had died instead.
But in this dark place, he calls Win. Which is a big deal because Team avoids burdening others with his problems. Sure, he'll beg Pharm for snacks, and ask Win to treat him to a meal. But he doesn’t tell anyone about his insomnia and anxiety. He doesn’t tell anyone that he almost drowned recently. Win discovered these things by accident and because he cared about Team, not because Team told him about them. So just the fact that these two have cultivated a relationship where Team is able to call Win, asking for someone to hold him together while he falls apart, is just so immensely beautiful to me. Because whether Team realizes it or not, he already believes that Win will be there for him no matter what, that Win will catch him.
And here is a person who desperately wants Team to stay alive. Win doesn’t know exactly what happened in Team’s past, and he can’t make Team forgive himself. All he can do is tell him how much he means to him, and that’s just really lovely. Because what Team needs right now isn’t someone who will tell him, “it’s not your fault”. He’s not in the mindset to be able to process and accept that. He needs someone to tell him that his life matters, that if he were to die there’s someone who might be just as devastated as Ton’s mother is. He might not be able to forgive himself yet, but he can start to see that he is valued.
TLDR: I love these two with my whole heart. I love seeing Team reach out for help when he's in the depths of his self-loathing. And I love how Win's love and care have melted away the walls that have been keeping Team isolated in his own pain.
#between us#between us the series#between us ep9#prem warut#I was crying when Team was talking to Ton at his grave#then I cried harder when Ton's mother was there grieving#then I cried even harder when the shot went back to Team behind the bush.#And I still love this whole scene#does that make me a masochist?#Also - sometimes there are things you can't tell your parents because you don't want to worry them#because you feel like your problems are going to disrupt their happiness#and you don't want to do that to them because you feel that their happiness is more important than your suffering.#I love moments in stories where characters reveal their vulnerabilities and someone else is there to embrace them.#reasons why I love this story#precipitating thts
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GX Finalized-Subs!118 (WIP): Reason to Live (Required OST)
#GX#yugioh#yugioh gx#ygo#ygo gx#yu-gi-oh gx#yu-gi-oh! gx#Professor Cobra#Judai Yuki#Rick#Yubel#[i mean technically it's the very weak first form that becomes the Boy of Light which then becomes Yubel buuuut]#subbing rambling#encoding 117-119 now! should have them up in the next day or two :)#also it continues to amuse me how 4Kids cut out Rick's death by fading from Cobra's turning-to-the-street shot just before#to the post-eyecatch scene where we see him back with the arm lol#they at least offscreened it well enough by saying Rick became 'very ill' and Viper was being given a chance to 'get him back'#also i do love how Cobra's 'Rick!!' happens on a total cut to black before the show's logo fades in for the eyecatch#such a good scene and it does make you feel why Cobra would 'believe all that' [per Johan] from the arm about bringing him back#when 'the dead can't come back to life' [also per Johan]#[also see what i did with that one link there]#also such a good second use of the 'Lamentation' OST track here (first use being with the Crying Scarknight scene in 114)#[why is it so hard to find on its own on YT 😩]
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rewatching carl
#taking this opportunity to ramble in the tags#i like this ep so much it's probably one of my favorites#it's so. it's. ghsdgjfshj. LOOK#compared to lets get shadowy ko was clearly more comfortable around venomous#ko was STARTING to think 'oh maaaybe he's not the worst dad in the world?'#and it gets thrown back at his face#i love the car scene. it has none of the show's usual bright colors or background music#it BUGS ME#which is GREAT because THATS THE EMOTION IM SUPPOSED TO FEEL#the feeling of 'it's all going downhill. darn'#and wow everything does go downhill so incredibly fast#it's like getting hit by three or four consecutive gut punches#and you feel terrible but WOW the episode is SO GOOD they sure know how to make me feel like crying!#yes i havent recovered. yes i know it's obvious.#*grabs passing stranger* CARL IS GOOD HERE'S A THREE HOUR TED TALK ON THE REASON WHY#incoherent ramblings
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So I was reading articles about John Hurt (as I do when I procrastinate on life in general lol) and I saw a still shot of a movie I’ve never seen still shots of before; so I looked it up. It’s a play. I was worried I wouldn’t find it in full online; but I did, so here it is in all its glory:
youtube
He’s just… ugh I want to gently hold his face in my hands he’s just so sad and lonely with his weepy voice and eye bags. I couldn’t process half of what he said but I think this is a warning about always speed-running through life to get to the next good thing. We should appreciate the moment; because in the end, we’ll have nothing at all but our memories. If we rush through life, we won’t have any memories to keep us warm at night when the chill of death creeps up on us in our old age.
Also, spool, spooooooooooollll…….
spoooooooooooooooooooooolllllll [cackles in mentally unstable]
@kaleidoscopr @theindo @possessedbydevils @randomtwospirit
#The fucking banana. I was talking to him through the screen like#“…a banana??? You keep bananas in…. there? You good man? A—are you okay?#What the hell are y—” [cracks up but quickly stops laughing] “Oh— oh honey… you’re not right are you?#No you’re not right. Uh…. Why don’t you sit down; your breathing sounds awful. You sound like you’re gonna die…#OH GOD [loses my shit laughing/cringing ] “Oh— oh ouch. No no no— I’m not laughing at you I just— I like your actor…#a lot… too much probably#and he’s just good at what he does and the timing of it all… this is exactly how I act when I’m home alone#I swear I’m not laughing at you… I just— PUT THAT BANANA BACK YOU’RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF”#John Hurt#stage acting#Krapp’s Last Tape (2001)#Samuel Beckett#Yeah… funky stage play. Very moving and dreamlike#[This is me gently holding Mr. Krapp and rotating him in my mind like a bowl of ramen in a microwave]#Screaming crying throwing up beating the walls#I am unwell#Ough ough ough#It’s not difficult for me to watch per se#but I’m very much the kind of person who HAS to help when someone’s having a hard time doing something#— especially if they’re old or otherwise infirm — or I’ll feel like a piece of shit for weeks… and this fucking man#this fucking man is so good at being frail and pitiful that I feel genuinely agitated that I can’t reach into the screen and help him#It’s like the torture scene in 1984 all over again where he just barely manages to wrench himself upright on the table#then immediately falls off onto the concrete floor with the most tragic sickening bone-grinding splat you��ve ever heard#AND HAS TO HOIST HIMSELF UP ONTO HIS FEET ALL BY HIMSELF WHEN HE’S MALNOURISHED AND EXHAUSTED#Like ughhhhhh let me pick him up and wrap him in a blanket and carry him somewhere warm and safe and make him an omelette#And I know I write whump and I shouldn’t be this sensitive#but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MR. HURT YOU ARE KILLING ME#Youtube
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you can't do the "i don't care about the baby killing because we don't know anything about jaehaerys" bit while carrying on about the mop with googly eyes known as lucerys velaryon. at least i can name A character trait for jaehaerys, luke was personality-less when he showed up and personality-less when his boring ass got munched.
#personal#anti team black#i mean already if you're doing 'hehehehe so excited' about a four year old getting beheaded i think you're a weirdo#and probably a bit of a psycho#but doing that and then acting like it's utterly heartbreaking that vhagar got her food#make it make sense#name me five independent character traits that dumbass kid had#i've got mommy's boy and mild sociopathic tendencies due to no apparent empathy or remorse for maiming someone for no reason#he's BORING#there's a reason why we got that horribly hamfisted scene to start out ep 10#we had no fucking reason to be sad that he was gonna die#like i feel bad for rhaenyra because i like emma d'arcy's acting#but other than that i feel nothing#(honestly i don't even know why anyone else is sad why tf is rhaena crying does she cry when a piece of cardboard falls over in the wind?)
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Soriku in Novels Part 2 -
Part 1
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
As Sora looked at them together, he noticed his vision growing blurry.
"Sora..?" Goofy set a hand on his shoulder.
Donald peered into his face, "Crying for joy?"
"I'm not crying!" Sora turned away and scrubbed his eyes. He was not. There was no reason to cry when he was glad. Riku was alive.
I want to see him. I have so much to tell him.
"Riku..."
In the land of dragons, Sora sees himself and Riku when he looks at Shang and Mulan. It's the cutest thing ever. This actually happens in game too.
Though I want to point out how in the manga Riku ask Shang to give a papou fruit to Sora and Immediately Sora knows it's from Riku cause... "only Riku would do something like that" well umm... I don't know about you but that seems kinda.... 🏳️��🌈🧐. So he tells Shang to give it to Mulan fully knowing the meaning behind the fruits and sees them as a romantic couple who both like each other, hoping their destinies will intertwine forever.
Also this is why Sora realizing he's alive in reunion scene doesn't make sense because he already knew from several other moments.
"Riku..." Sora looked up, holding tight to his friend's hand. "It's Riku... Riku is here. He knew that it was Riku's hand he clasped. It was bigger than the one he held a thousand times before, but in his heart, Sora felt it.
A knot of something he could barely define filled his chest. Clinging to that hand, to Riku's hand, Sora fell to his knees. "I was looking for you...!" Tears spilled all over and flowed down his cheeks as he pressed Riku's hand against his face.
As much as it is cute in the game, the novel adds so much more. It shows inside feelings. And Sora knew it is Riku's hand cause he felt it in his heart ahkshshshshsh— A HAND HE HELD THOUSANDS OF TIMES BEFORE!? He could have said he held it before or several times— but no he had to go with thousands of times.
And then he gets some sort of knot in his chest he could barely define??? I don't know ummm it kinda sounds like Sora might like him....
Then later he presses Riku's hand to his own face.... Um Sora, you are so cute when you interact with Riku that it's so obvious he likes him but He is so oblivious about it..... Man Riku must be really having to contain himself and make sure he isn't going to get flustered.
The next few are around a similar moment,
He thought he heard someone calling his name. Sora call me to, eventually pushing himself up. The first thing his eyes focused on was Riku—collapsed on the floor.
"Riku..!" Sora scrambled over to him and knelt down, perring into his face.
It belonged to a silver-haired boy.
The first person he pays attention to is Riku and then he peers into his face. Then the moment after this is just crazy.
Riku!" Sora flung his arms around the other boy, looking up into his face.
Far up. I know we haven't seen each other for a year— but Riku's so much taller! No fair!
Listen, he immediately flings his arms around Riku. That's so cute. I love how cute he is when he realizes Riku got so much taller. I think it's so funny how he wants to be taller but never does because Riku always growing. It be funny if he managed to get taller like one day and then Riku ends up surpassing him AGAIN.
That word from him had a terrible certainly to it. Sora's brows drew together and he moved closer to his friend again, staring into the face he'd missed so much.
"Seriously, Riku!" Sora grabbed his collar.
This is the lines, after the eyes couldn't lie/ myself scene. And oh ho we got some stuff. This scene in general is sad and you just want to hug Riku for all he's been through because he's clearly upset at himself for it and feels so much regret. Then Sora grabs his COLLAR. I bet he said the I'm not a sap line to hide the fact he was flustered. He's so close to him.
With that, Riku threw off his black cloak. In his hand was his own Keyblade— the Way to the Dawn.
"Yeah..." Sora agreed, seeing that the other boy was already leaving. He was only too happy to follow, "Riku!"
These two are so cute especially how Sora acts around him. Like he so happy to be with him. It's just so wholesome and great. I love their relationship, their friendship is also the cutest.
#kingdom hearts#soriku#novel#kh2#kingdom Hearts novels#land of dragons#Sora doesn't cry cause he thought he was dead at reunion#he already cried at land of dragons when Shang confirms Riku is alive#Mickey also confirmed it at and earlier scene#And Sora realizes it himself when he gets sea salt ice cream and that picture with Roxas in it#But Why does he think of him and Riku when he sees Mulan and Shang#He literally thinks of him and his best friend that is supposedly just a best friend#THE NOVEL REUNION makes me insane#HE HELD HIS HAND A THOUSAND TIMES and knows it's riku caus eof his heart#WHY THOUSAND WHY NOT PLENTY but he chooses a number that makes it so gay#A KNOT IN HIS CHEST?!?!? he likes him guys 😭😭😭😭#press his hand to his own face like it's the normalest thing#Ansem form helping Riku not appear flustered right now#Blindfold off scenes were so cute#He wants to get taller than Riku so much he so silly#silly little blorbos#He hugs and gets so close during blindfold off scenes surprised Riku not flustered#Riku trying to play it cool with I'm not a sap to show he's not flustered also Riku needs a hug#will make more parts
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Myanna Buring as Melody Munro (Hot Property, 2016)
#she is baby#myanna buring#hot property#melody munro#don't ask me why i suddenly felt the need to gif her crying#so shoot me she just does it well#yes i took the most emotional scene out of the weirdest most unhinged film#but here's the thing#it may be unhinged but goddamn you feel for her character#like she's so fucked up. she's SO FUCKED UP!!#she's grieving!!!#she's fucked up because she's grieving and she doesn't know how!!!#arwen makes gifs#my hot property#hot property 2016
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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