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internalsealpanic · 4 years ago

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Radio Silence

Summary: You take Tim with you to a family reunion hoping to monopolize his time. You may have forgotten to tell him a few things. For example, the haunted radio.

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a/n: I’m sorry for the wait. I forgot that I am no longer used to describing atmosphere. This isn’t my best work but I hope you like it. This was based on my family’s tradition of sitting in the dark on Halloween listening to scary stories on the radio. This is mainly Tim Drake x Filipino!Reader because I realley wanted to try my hand at a bilingual character. You will see misspelling of words in the dialogue. That’s intentional on my part. There will be translations.

“Yes, Nay, he’s the one in the picture,”

“No! It’s the guy with-” You blow out an exasperated breath. You hear Tim snicker behind you and you dedicate half your brain cells to coming up with the best way to kick his ass. “Yung mukhang Koreano. Yeah. Yeah. Dat one.”

“Yes, he looks more like a white boy. Mistiso.” You explain curtly.

“Yes, he’s smart. I hab standards,” Tim raises a disbelieving brow at you. You stick your tongue out at him but nearly bite it off when your grandmother speaks again.

“What do you mean doubtful?!” Tim looks absolutely delighted. A cheshire smile curling on his lips as he leans back into your couch. You glare at him then at your phone then at the ceiling then past that to glare at whatever god was up there.

“THAT WAS ONE TIME! Justine was an-” You mutter trying to remember the word. “- an anomaly and you know it!”

“…..”

“Ok der were 2 anomalies!”

“3”

“Ok maybe Tim is the anomaly, but seriously, Nay, he’s fine,” You snarl, the jaggedness of your Gotham accent rearing its head. You wince but do not apologize. This will bite you in the ass later but you didn’t say it. You don’t like the taste of the word.

“No. I mean if you don’t want us to embarrass you at the church social then- Yes, I have been going to church,” You can see Tim rolling his eyes and mouthing liar with a twitch of his lip in the corner of your vision. “No, he’s not the showy type. Nay, I gotta go. The food’s burning,”

“Yes, Nay, I lab you bery mach,” You sigh into the phone letting your grandmother’s lather your tongue cutting into the briskness of your consonants. It held the same euphoria as taking off your shoes after a particularly long day.

“Unless you’re Dick, you can’t burn cereal,” Tim cut in carting you away from your reverie.

“Watch me, Drake,” You huff throwing a pillow at Tim almost making him drop his cereal bowl.

“So, can Gotham survive without Red Robin for a weekend?”

“Shouldn’t you have asked me this before telling your grandma that you’re taking me?”

“I’m just double-checking,”

“How considerate,”

“To be fair, your schedule is already volatile as is," You huff snuggling up to him on the couch. It was too cold in Tim’s apartment. You think a rich kid like him could afford to turn up the heat. Though, you aren’t exactly going to complain about an excuse to cuddle him.

Tim doesn’t make a move to push you away. Instead, he wraps his arm around you pulling you closer. This was the type of easy affection you two had become accustomed to. This was also the thing that will make your Schrade even more convincing. "True, but I asked Cass and the others to cover for me. Plus, your grandma sounds like she likes me,”

“Considering you don’t have a criminal record and aren’t currently being investigated, you immediately rocketed to the top of her list,” You answer absentmindedly stirring your cereal and taking a bite.

Tim whips his head to you and gives you a concerned look which you return with a smile full of cereal. He blanches at you, shaking his head and grabbing the remote to unpause the Star Trek episode you two were watching. You both prop your feet up and chew your cereal slowly, not feeling any reason to hurry.

How long has it been since you started? You’re pretty sure it was 1 AM when you started.

As if reading your mind, Tim looks at his phone, winces then turns back to the screen without another word. You quirk your brow at him but decide that there is some truth to the saying ignorance is bliss.

You were gonna hate yourselves come noon.

It’s noon, the sun has the audacity to show itself, and you hate yourself.

You definitely, unequivocally hate yourself.

You groan in the passenger seat, head pressed against the cool window. The faint warmth of the sun glancing off your skin makes the tinges of nausea circling the periphery of your senses come to life. Your stomach does a cartwheel and you think- you’re sure you’re going to throw up but you aren’t gonna do that.

No way in hell are you gonna do that. Not when you’ve finally conned your way into monopolizing Tim’s attention for the weekend.

Ok, yeah, sure it was the result of some miscommunication between you and your cousin who then passed on the miscommunication to the whole goddamn family but that’s just what you call a happy accident.

You blow out a breath, greedily taking in all the coolness of the glass pressed against your skin calling your mind back to your body. You weren’t really good with handling the not sleeping thing.

“You ok?” Tim asked his eyes flickering between you and the alarmingly empty road. There was worry in his eyes whether it was the fact that you looked like shit or the fact that the road you were on looked like the opening to a terrible 80s slasher flick. It was Halloween after all. It would be pretty perfect. Dread licks at your stomach at the thought.

You let the silence lapse. In the corner of your eye, you see Tim’s hand tighten on the steering wheel. You stare at the expanse of farmland stretching to the horizon debating whether to humor his question or to let him stew.

“I’m fine,” You picked the third option.

“You don’t look fine,” Tim deadpans, turning to you.

“Stop looking then-” Tim scowls at you his pouty lips pulling into an angle. You sneer. “-You don’t look too good yourself, Kirk,”

Tim makes an offended noise. You look at Tim, really look at him, for the first time in hours. Tim, as per usual, looked obnoxiously handsome even though he was running on at most 30 minutes of sleep and had eye bags running down his face. Somewhere lost in his contemplative expression was the blindingly obvious hint of self doubt. You’ve seen it tons of times.

You peel yourself away from the cool glass to look Tim in the eyes. Dread swims in the pools of teal looking straight back at you. Tim’s mouth edges between a pout and a frown. You soften, shifting in your seat angling until your body is facing his.

“Whatever it is you’re overthinking it,”

“You don’t even know what I’m thinking!”

“Ay,” You chuckle and shake your head. “Tim, it’s you. You overthink everything. I don’t need to be a mind reader to see that,”

Tim huffs. Maybe he was overthinking things.

“ ‘sides, I don’t see why you would be nervous 'bout meeting my family,”

Has it occurred to you I want to date you for real at some point? Tim thought a little frustrated.

You laugh when he frowns but instead of teasing him any further. You flick the radio on. Your hackles rise as it crackles to life. A smile flickers on your face when ‘All-star’ comes on. You cry out, a noise of shrill joy filling the air.

“Oh my god” Tim breathes, running his long fingers through his dark hair. “You absolute dork,”

“Kettle. Pot.” You grin.

Tim snorts as you loudly sing along with the radio. Unfortunately for him, your enthusiasm for the song was infectious. Somehow you both managed to miss every beat of the song.

You somehow felt like you were definitely forgetting something.

6 cans of monster and 5 things of 5-hour-energy drink later, you arrived. Tim’s nice-looking car pulls into the dusty gravel driveway of a rather large and old colonial looking house. Seeing the robust form of the large house looming in the distance injected your veins with a stifling source of dread.

You love your family to bits but sometimes their presence weighed so much. You can feel their words already pecking at you, drawing pit and pieces of your self into frayed fibers. All you can think about were the comments hushed behind palms and the dissecting gaze of dark eyes. Your mouth feels dry and you can already feel your feet pivoting back towards the car.

Tim reaches for your hand, lacing his slender fingers between yours. He smiles at you squeezing your hand. You can feel him rattling from his own anxiety but his effort steadies you. You grin at him and squeeze back.

Your teeth click the entire walk up to the large oak doors. Tim squeezes your hand again, his teal eyes sweeping over you with a concerned glint. You furrow your brow and somehow he understands and raises his hand to knock on the door.

The door bursts open. Music and laughter wash over you as hands hurry you into the front hall.

“Nay! Dito na sya! May dalang gwapo!” (Mom, y/n’s here and they brought someone handsome.)

About 20 heads turn to look at you. Tim feels some embarrassment from the attention but that doesn’t last too long as in the space of about 5 seconds, those 20 heads were swarming you both, pulling you into hugs, shaking your hands, and ruffling your hair in varying degrees of force and order.

“Beh, you’ve grown so big” Your aunt coos squishing your face.

“Nena, look at this guy,”

“Tita, he doesn’t have any tattoos,” Your little cousin marveled looking bug-eyed as she lifted Tim’s shirt. You swat her away but take a quick second to subtly admire Tim’s sculpted abs. Your aunt scolds him and your uncle drags you to the main room where more guests were sitting chattering or screaming at a foreign horror movie.

All the apprehension bundled into your stiff shoulders dissolves like seafoam against the overwhelming warmth of the festivities. The raucous laughter drags the roughness of Gotham away from your tongue. In place of your slow, careful syllables are quick clattering consonants and concise vowels. Your vowels were still elongated and angled to a sharp point unlike the nearly musical words of your cousins but as you said before ‘Gotham has its way of burying itself in your bones’. Tim just never thought about how saliently it showed itself in words. He wonders how his accent (folded, neat, and sterilized) sounds to you. He wonders how dull he sounds to you.

You have teased him about it. You’ve teased him endlessly about the way upper-class Manhattan just rolls off his tongue, how Alfred’s British affectations worm their way into his syllables. What you don’t tell him is how the smooth velvet of his words lull you into a hypnotic state that steals every bit of oxygen from your lungs. What you can’t make yourself tell him is that you would gladly spend your whole life listening to him read a fucking phone book.

The festivities were lively and informal. Jokes flying every which way. All alternating between your native tongue. You laugh into your drink, hiding the hesitant curve blunting your infectious smile. Tim nudges you to ask what’s wrong but you simply nudge him back and shake your head as if he had said something funny. Your relatives didn’t seem to notice your demeanor or if they did they left it alone.

Tim decides to leave it alone for now. Instead, he leaned into the flow of conversation. His years of speaking at galas working their magic on your aunts. They bombarded him with questions. Most of which sounded like screening questions at the embassy. You snarled at them more than once to knock it off but Tim shook it off. He knows they’re just worried about you the same way he worried for you. Well, not the same way but it was their way of showing they cared. He lets himself be immersed in the conversation. It’s more like he tuned into the sweet sound of your laughter but made sure to dedicate enough restraint to not look like a love-sick puppy.

“Tanga!” (MORON!)

“Baliw!” (Crazy!)

“E gago ka pala, di ba halata yun?” (No shit sherlock, isn’t it obvious?)

Tim is at best confused as he watches the volley of words between you and your cousin. Your voices rising above the blaring karaoke. Anthony (?) clamps a hand on his shoulder and laughs as he watches you and Martin (?) hurl insults at each other. In the corner of your eye, you watch his reactions checking if he understood a word. He isn’t fluent but he understood bits and pieces. He’s heard you mutter angrily about customers enough times to distinguish an insult.

“Dun worry about 'em. They won’t fight. They’re stupid but they’re not that stupid. ‘Sides, they’re too afraid of Nay for that,”

Tim gives Anthony a doubtful look. Anthony chuckles at him, clapping him on the back urging him to keep watching. He does if only to make sure you’ll be alright. When he does, he tunes into your words. Tim marvels at how musical you sound as you trade another round of rapid-fire jabs with Martin, how at ease you seem. Tim makes a mental note to get you to teach him. Though, he wasn’t entirely sure how he would justify it. Admittedly, part of it was just wanting to spend more time with you.

He can probably swing it.

A surge of protectiveness crowds his veins when Martin grabs at you but his hand is swatted by a cane. The air crackles with a sharp snap. The room plunges into silence. A small woman with silver hair stands tall and imperious at the other end of the cane. You and your cousins stiffen.

“Hi Nay,” You trail off with a distinct lack of grace. You swallow the lump forming your throat, robbed of any coherent thought by the stinging look in her eyes. You felt bare under her gaze. Layers and layers of skin peeling beneath the weight of her attention. Fury flickers like firelight across her dark eyes. Your skin suddenly felt like lint and you were sure you would catch fire.

A pause.

A bated breath held for what felt like an eternity.

“Iha(Iho), It’s been so long,” She says, softening. Her wrinkled face stretches into a kind smile that made you think of freshly cooked vegetables. Her cane folding to her side as she loops her arm over your shoulders. “It’s nays to see you,”

A choked sound comes out of you and you feel something shake loose. “Missed you too, Nay,” You breathed. Tim feels awkward, fidgeting in his place.

The soft smile on your grandmother fades a little. Her sharp eyes appraising Tim. The look wasn’t particularly venomous, but it left Tim feeling like he’d been cut open and analyzed. He wasn’t entirely sure of why you were all so scared of her before but now he fully understood.

She relinquishes her grip on you and urges you to go back to Tim. You frown a little, giving her a suspicious look which she returns innocently. You let out a little breath before walking back to Tim’s side. She gives him another long once over before silently strolling away. His stomach churned but eased at your touch. You still look uneasy but you don’t fuss over it. Not when Martin decides that he wasn’t quite done with bickering.

The festivities went on as normal. Maybe with a little less cussing going around. But Tim barely noticed when your laugh, free of any hesitance, echoed sonorously in his ear as he held you close.

Roz presses a drink into his hand. “Congrats, you’ve survived round one of Nay’s hazing,”

“Round one?” Tim hiccups into his drink. He coughed. The beer was strong. A strangely potent amount of alcohol that made his throat burn.

“Yeah, Roz, that was more like round 2.” You mutter sullenly, distinctly taking no sips of the drink Roz had also handed you. The paranoid Bat-part of his brain screams that he’s been poisoned. He’s struggling not to let it win over but your conversation wasn’t helping.

“Nay will eat him alive,”

“I mean. She’ll do it nicely,”

“Pfffft, right! Ok, Tony, name one time she’s been nice.”

“How about-”

“The thing with Y/n earlier doesn’t count,”

“Why not?”

“There was a hidden agenda,”

“Oh shit! The bitch is right- Ow! You are!”

You look at Tim apologetically and squeeze his hand. Somehow this does not calm his nerves, but he tries his best to ease into his touch.

On the trip here, you warned him that it was going to be exhausting. He assumed, incorrectly, that you were exaggerating. After all, he’s survived snobby rich people and his family. Your family seemed nice. He can survive a nice family dinner.

But what you neglected to tell him was that it would be sheer chaos. He definitely wasn’t prepared for the sensory overload. The house was almost unbearably loud compared to the manor. Every corner was filled with people chattering, playing games, eating, and doing anything to entertain themselves. Sure, Tim was used to chaos but he was more accustomed to short bursts. He wasn’t quite as prepared for the seemingly endless stream of conversations and liquor.

You had definitely not prepared his poor unassuming introverted ass well enough. Not even halfway through the night, Tim was ready to crash. The 20 minutes of sleep he got beforehand had not helped.

You, the angel that you are, guide him away from the party. You drag yourselves down the wide yawning corridor to the grand staircase.

Lit only by the thin veil of moonlight, the house showed its age. Walking up the stairs and walking through its hallways was like falling through time. The halls were lined with paintings, all landscapes and still-lifes. He’s thankful for that small mercy. His head swimming in liquor, he is reminded of the portraits at Wayne Manor and how their eyes burned at you as you passed.

The lack of portraits doesn’t make the house any less creepy mind you. Religious fixtures line the halls, crucifixes affixed to every arch-like mistletoes. There were doll-like statues of hollow-eyed saints at every corner table. It might have been the dancing moonlight but Tim swore he saw one of them move. Tim suddenly wishes he hadn’t ingested so much liquor.

Before long, you make your way to a bedroom. How the hell you knew which one to put him in was anyone’s guess. You lead him into the room. Touch gentle and careful as you coaxed him in. Soft jazzy music echoing hauntingly. The dancing moonlight and the solid shadows of the room highlighting your gorgeous features, drawing his attention to your plush lips. You lean over him to make sure he was indeed still part of the living. Liquid courage surging in his face, he presses his lips to yours. It’s cautious. He gently runs his hand through your hair, pulling you towards him with a push. The press of his lips is restrained, more of a question than a demand. Slightly chapped lips press against your sweet and searching.

Tim remembers the warm press of your lips, the way the pads of fingers trail against the soft fabric of his shirt, your warm breath fanning against his cool skin, then nothing.

Knock

KNOCK

Tim grouses into his pillow. Tim was having an absolutely wonderful dream. He could still feel your warm lips against his. Tim squeezes his eyes trying to go back to sleep.

Knock

KNOCK

‘1 AM’ the antique analog clock at the nightstand reads.

“I’m up!” He lies burying himself further into the thick sheets.

His brothers really needed to stop breaking into his apartment at 1-

KNOCK

Tim nearly falls out of bed when he remembers where he is. He jams a shirt over his head and some sweatpants before stumbling to the door.

“Hey Tim, you coming?” Anthony asks through the crack of the door.

Tim opens the door a little wider. “Where?”

“Outside,” Roz shrugs vaguely.

“Whe-”

You step out of your room, extremely hesitant. Your knuckles were turning white from apprehension. You look at Tim, surprise plain in your eyes. You flinch heat rising to your cheeks. Tim remembers the texture of your soft lips. He wishes that wasn’t a dream. You glare at your cousins who give you a confused look.

“Roz, he-”

“Awwww, ‘insan, you’re actually coming?” Martin mocks clapping you on the shoulder drawing, what Tim considers, an adorable squeak from you. His heart almost leaps from his chest when your warm body presses further into Tim’s side. You can’t hear it but Tim’s breath stutters in his chest. He loops his arm around you protectively. Martin gives both of you a sly conspiratorial look.

You scowl at Martin. Glaring with as much intensity and intimidation your burning cheeks would allow. Roz swats him over the head making him almost topple down the steps before Anthony even gets a chance to rebuke him. Instead, Anthony turns to you, brows furrowed. “You sure you want to come? Nay said-”

“La a!” Martin protested. Roz rolls her eyes and swats him again. “Dipshit’s right. Nay didn’t say jack,”

“Then why did you swat me?”

“E, I felt like it e,”

“Bish, whose side are you on?!” He snarls but before he can lunge at Roz, Anthony is already dragging him by the scruff of his neck.

“Shhhhhhhhhhh! Not so loud. The kids will hear us,”

“I for one will not help you wrangle tita’s crotch gremlins,”

“We’re going to be late and Nay is going to unleash hell upon us,”

Anxiously, you tug at Tim urging him to follow your cousins as they filed out through the back door.

“Where are we going?” Tim hisses.

All four of you share a look.

“We’ll explain,” You promise.

The journey was eerie. Punctuated by the fact that none of you explain jack. The walk was entirely silent, devoid of bickering or any sort of conversation. He can see the silence driving both Roz and Anthony mad. You honestly look like you’re going to keel over. The odd thing was that even the birds were silent. Not a single sound penetrated the thick canopy of juniper trees.

You wonder the woods guided only by the thin ribbons of silver light peaking through the thick clouds of leaves. Tim can feel your pulse as it thundered in your chest. No matter what was going on he would keep you safe.

You arrive in front of a rusted gate half a foot shorter than Tim. It was small, easily climbable with plenty of spiraling pieces to stick your foot into for purchase if needed. Your eyes cut to Roz who fished out a key he’d seen perched on one of the coat racks. Hesitantly, you held your hand out for the key. Roz, on the other hand, all but slammed it into your hand, grinning in a mix of absolute glee and relief. Your teeth click as you worked the lock. He wants to suggest just going over it but you seem quite adamant and he wasn’t about to push your nerves.

Finally, the lock gives in.

You all file in one at a time in a sort of practiced motion. Beyond the gates was a path with its stones polished from a shine from use. The scarce light coming from the canopy of trees rippling against them. It lit the rest of the way still keeping the surroundings in deep shadow.

The path ended in front of a small dilapidated stone structure that seemed too small to house anything.

“Age before beauty,” Martin jeers, bending down dramatically urging Roz to go in. She, in turn, shoves him in with a swift kick. The dark interior of the structure swallows him whole. Her dark eyes cut to you. You swallow but ultimately you shrug off Tim’s hold and relinquish your death grip on Tim’s arm. You let out a shaky breath as you step over the threshold. Just like Martin before you, the shadows leave no trace of you.

Tim reaches for the last bit of your swaying blanket. Roz taking the chance shoves Tim over the threshold, his vision goes pitch black.

“See you there, lover boy~”

The darkness is all-encompassing making his eyes completely useless as much as he tries to adjust them. Instead, he strains all of his other senses. He feels the press of moss-covered walls closing in on him. The staircase only seemed wide enough to let one person pass at a time. The stairs wind in shallow predictable patterns. The scent of moss and burning firewood grew heavy as he made his descent. Distantly, he could hear the soft padding of your shoes against the stone but he also heard the crackle of jazzy music. It was the kind he only heard from the old black and white movies Bruce and Alfred watched. It was oddly familiar but he couldn’t place it. The smooth baritone of the singer rattles in his head. A shiver of mild discomfort travels up his spine.

After what feels like an eternity, Tim emerges. His eyes slamming shut from the sudden brightness of his surroundings. He blinks, eyes adjusting to the light. His eyes take in his surroundings.

He was in a clearing. It was man-made, constructed using the same stones that lined the path you’d taken. The stone walls were covered in moss and ivy, but the stone that did peak out reflected the moonlight freely raining drown from the clear autumn sky. In the center of the space, sit 9 people including yourself. All cast in the warm glow of the crackling bonfire. It is a living thing, raging and casting shadows sharpening and obscuring features.

“I’m so glad you could join us, Timothy,” Your grandmother calls out as she fiddles with the nobs of the old radio perched in her lap. It crackles uncooperatively despite her efforts. He can’t pry his eyes away from it even as he takes his seat next to your shivering form.

Without much thought, Tim pulls you close. You tremble, teeth still clicking eyes wild and fixed on the radio. The radio is a curious thing. It’s an old model. It’s sleek but dotted with various nobs and switches. If he had to guess, it was something out of the 1960s. In the periphery of his senses, he hears Roz and Anthony step out of the staircase and take their places in the circle with Roz sitting right next to your grandmother.

Your grandmother stops fiddling with the radio then turns to Roz who is now comfortably seated. Your teeth chatter and your shoulder hitch as they silently converse. Roz inhales then exhales. Her dark eyes sweep over all of you making sure she had your attention. Based on the silence and the still forms, she did. She sits a little straighter, her shoulders rolling back.

She throws herself into a tale. It was a story she’d heard long ago about a man, a house, and a secret. Her calm voice carries over the soft roaring of the bonfire. It wasn’t the scariest tale Tim had heard but Roz told it well. Well enough to draw squeaks from several people including yourself.

Tim relaxes catching on to the turn of events. He lets you press into his side as you make your feeble attempt to get away from the story. Tim chuckles at the amount of theatrics you’ve all put into building up to this little gathering. However, all his smug skepticism vanishes when Roz finishes her story.

The static from the radio vanishes. Its various nobs move without assistance and its switches click into place. The same baritone voice carries from the radio. Tim doesn’t hear what it says as his mind reels. He turns to you and opens his mouth to ask but Anthony begins his tale before Tim can even formulate his question. Beside him, you fidget with his sleeve shaking hands clenching and unclenching on the fabric.

Tim remembers how much you hate ghost stories. You’d once gotten sick with a fever just from watching horror movies. At this point, you were on the verge of tears. Your breathing slowed abnormally as Martin finished his story. The radio predictably did not whirr to life after his story. Through your chattering teeth, you give your cousin a vicious smile which he volleys by sticking his tongue out petulantly.

It’s your turn.

You squeeze Tim’s hand twice before worming out of his grasp. You flutter your long lashes, lightcatching in them looking golden as the fire flickered urging you to delve into your story. You roll your shoulders and let your blanket and apprehension slide away in one smooth action.

You tell your story.

Your countenance still and grave as you tell a story of crossroads and terrible choices.

The radio huffs, seemingly amused by your effort.

“Well, y/n,” The radio coos. Your name drips like molasses from its speakers. It’s unsettling how crisp it sounds. Its voice absent of static as it addresses you. “You sure do know about bad choices. I believe so does that young thing- Pardon me. Young things swimming in the harbor. They’re just a tinsy bit cut up about it.” The radio teases almost sounding gleeful. You nod gravely, stomach reaching the floor.

Harbor?

You settle back down into your seat. Tim nudges you, cocking his head to the side to question you. Your fist clenches and unclenches in your lap before you look him in the eyes again.

“Case,” You mouth silently.

It clicks.

The harbor.

The bodies.

That’s what the radio meant.

Someone clears their throat urging Tim to tell a story. He stumbles through a half-remembered urban legend he heard from Steph awhile ago. His mind far too preoccupied with the new information to really devote to any theatrics.

His turn passes.

And the stories continue as he mulls over the information.

It’s your grandmother’s turn. Your hand grips Tim’s arms white-knuckled. You attempt to swallow down the fear but it catches in your throat constricting your airway. The flames dance casting her face in sinister shadows that bring out all the sharp angles in her features. Her smile curls cruel. Her bony fingers trace the seems and delicate patterns embossed on the old radio. Static erupts loud then dies down just as quickly. Her smokey voice fills the air. Heavy and commanding. The story spills from her lips smooth and velvety slick with gore and unspoken horrors. None of you dare to speak. Some don’t even breathe. Your hands scrabble for purchase on Tim’s shirt as you bury your face in his chest. You feel him wrap himself around you shielding you the best he can. Ear pressed to his chest, you can hear Tim’s pulse hammering. The terror soaking through to his bones. He remains steady. Unflinching even as the story reaches its climax.

The flames flash, fade, then flicker.

The radio crackles.

The smooth baritone of its voice distorting into something undeniably inhuman.

Shadows dance.

Their hands reaching out as the flames did. A hard yank from one of them nearly topples you out of Tim’s arms. He shifts you both away from their grasp. He glares fiercely at them making sure you’re safe.

Sorrowful moans fill the air but your grandmother is undeterred.

With a shrill cry from the radio, everything dies down.

The shadows retreat.

The fire simmers down now small and tame.

Everyone lets out a breath. Both of you could feel everyone unfurl. Tense muscles, locked jaws, tight chests all loosen with the end of the story.

For a long moment, the entire circle is still. Then your grandmother stands up. The rest follow her in a mostly quiet procession up the steps.

“Roddy was harsh this year,” Martin whines.

“Nope, you’re just terrible at it. I mean hell even y/n got an answer. It was creepy as all shit but they got an answer,”

“Uh- Is it a good time to ask what just happened?”

Your cousins turn to you.

“You really didn’t tell him anything, did you?”

“How do you propose I bring up the demonic radio?”

“Pffft,”

“Pirst, it isn’t demonic. Do you really think Nay would have kept it if it was?”

“She lets Martin hang around,”

“…….”

“Dis is a good point,”

“HEY”

Tim clears his throat.

“Raaayt, Ok so… once a year we tell the spooky radio stories so we can get answers or our future told,”

“Was the whole creepy walk necessary?”

“Nope,” You answer in chorus.

“It’s just our way of psyching up for it,”

“It’s your guy’s way. Tita at least let’s me hum songs,”

“Well excuse me for not wanting to listen to you sing,”

“Is there anything else you guys want to tell me?”

“Aside from y/n really not wanting to tell-”

You snarl at your cousins, red-faced and bearing your teeth. Martin and Roz cackle as they run. Anthony has the decency to at least look slightly apologetic as he runs.

“Y/n… What aren’t you telling me?”

“Tim, I- I’m- Damn it- I-” You put your hands on your face. You try to calm your breaths. “Look Tim, I-”You take another breath. “I’m sorry. I kissed you but you were drunk-”

“Wait that wasn’t a dream?” There’s a flicker in Tim’s chest.

You look at him mortified. You want the ground to swallow you whole. “Yeah, I- Tim, I know it’s- I’m sorry.”

He remains silent.

Your stomach feels like it’s going to burn up.

“I-”

“I want a redo,”

“A what?”

“A redo,”

a/n: I will rework the ending at some point but thank you for reading!

taglist: @batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes, @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders (I wanna drag you into Terry hell), @l-horizon11

#Tim Drake #tim drake imagines #tim drake x reader #my writing #batboys #batboys x reader #spooktober #fake dating au

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mononyann · 5 years ago

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a while back people requested that i share some of my headcanons for certain bnha characters, so here's some of the characters that i did

Shota Aizawa

- he absolutely has at LEAST 3 cats, he spoils the heck out of them too. that's why he's always eating those gel packs... he spends too much on his cats.

- he really does love his class. and we all know honey??? u haven't expelled any of them. ur soft for them ok.

- he likes to sleep with his cats bc he gets lonely at night... he will not admit it, but he likes having someone/something there :)

- he has reuccuring nightmares about the usj attack and how he could have failed to save his students

- has a very low alcohol tolerance and often ends up getting dragged back to his apartment by mic or midnight when they go out whilst he rambles and whines the entire time

- he hates crying and tries his best to keep his emotions held in, he's only cried in front of a select few people

- he tries not to let others opinions on him rule his life and tends to block it out if someone hates him

- he doesn't know it, but he is the entirety of class 1-a's dad.

- he really likes tea, and dislikes sweets

- as you would expect, he takes his coffee black

Hanta Sero

- he really likes kpop! he stans multiple groups and really wants to attend a concert

- though he seems really chill on the outside, he's actually quite sensitive and has some self confidence issues

- he loves being around people and finds that he gets his energy from being around those he loves

- definitely into e-boy fashion, and he is open about it

- pierced his own ears at 3 am and called kaminari crying about how he screwed it up

- he actually likes to draw a lot in his free time, it's very relaxing. he puts on some nice low-fi music and draws for hours

- he hasn't had many crushes in his life and doesn't find romance to be a big issue currently, but he's open to anything

- accidentally taped his hamster to the ceiling in 2nd grade, he didn't mean to and cried for hours (the hamster was ok)

Nemuri Kayama

- she is a BRO, she likes to crack a cold one open with the boys on the weekends

- she is bisexual and thinks everyone is beautiful in their own unique ways

- most likely talks shit about her coworkers to her classes

- she thinks children are adorable and loves them, often scaring them with her enthusiasm

- very touchy, she loves hugs and will probably not pass up a chance to use you as an armrest if she has the chance

- she secretly worries about aizawa a lot and is scared that he lets the past effect him too much

- did you guys know she has a cat?!

- i like to think she and mic are like... EPIC bros, she loves to paint his nails and do his hair while gossiping with him (aizawa would NEVER let her do this to him lmao)

- she isn't a mom, but finds the idea of having her own children very nice, for now having a cat will suffice

- she enjoys trying to make all might flustered, she thinks his reactions to things are always very cute and funny (it's all in good fun!)

- she's the mom friend! though she may seem very sexual, which she undoubtedly is, she is also very caring and has a very nuturing motherly personality, she's a lot more than just fanservice !!!!!

Todoroki Shoto

- completely oblivious when it comes to love... he doesn't even understand his own crushes

- "of course you can borrow my credit card uraraka" *pulls out endeavors card which he sneakily took*

- would be the person to tell a child that their pet guinea pig didn't go to heaven and be confused when they start sobbing... like "what... don't be honest?"

- allows his friends to huddle up to his warm side when they are cold

- is confused when people show him copious amounts of love and affection

- he would beat up anyone if they tried to do ANYTHING bad to midoriya

- he wants more friends. he really is enjoying meeting new people and having some new friends at ua!

- he gives really good hugs, he doesn't try to hug you too tight, but he doesn't half ass it either, very nice and warm

- he hates his scar. like. a lot. he wants to cover it up so bad but it just doesn't work. he's afraid it'll make other people scared of him.

Shinsou Hitoshi

- loves patd! and fall out boy, a brendon urie STAN

- loves to kiss his kitties on the forehead but dreads human interaction

- he loves to squish his cats' toebeans... he takes pictures of them and posts them to his secret cat social media acc

- he is gay but doesn't know how to feel about it and/or come out, he's really nervous and doesn't trust people to accept him

- he doesn't smile often but when he does it's the cutest thing ever

- he secretly really likes deku and kaminari and is hesitant about accepting their friendship, but appreciates the gestures a lot

- he suffers with social anxiety and doesn't really know how to make friends very well??? like, in middle school people were total dickbags to him so he kinda just closed himself off and decided he was gonna like... not make friends, but now that there's nice people around him he just kind of- doesn't know how

- this is actually canon! but he feels guilty about having to manipulate people when he uses his quirk, during the 4th school briefs book he feels guilty when he overhears midoriya and ojiro talking about him using his quirk during the sports festival, and he's like "i wish ojiro would say something rude about me to show he's angry so i wouldn't have to feel so guilty about this" since ojiro showed no ill feelings towards him

Izuku Midoriya

- "hold on I'll go get a blanket!" *opens closet* *thousands of all might figurines tumble out*

- watches cat vine compilations until 2 am, than freaks out when he realizes it is 2 am

- very good with children!

- used to be very self conscious about his freckles bc of bakugou insulting them; hid them with concealer for a while until someone told him they were beautiful

- loves his momma so muchhh he would do anything for her, he likes to surprise her with small favors to see her happy

- does not understand the concept of letting people handle their own problems

- stays after to class to offer his teachers help

- he has a lot of self doubts and is still struggling to this day to come to terms with the fact that he is worthy of having one for all

- he wants to learn how to cook for his mom and friends

Kyoka Jirou

- she is a lesbian!!!!! she has a crush on momo but is completely convinced that it's unrequited

- struggled with judgmental kids in middle school because of her sexual identity and style

- gets very easily flustered by anyone complimenting her

- that one person sitting at the back of the bus with their earbuds blasting full volume

- was a GOD at guitar hero

- acts like she's fed up with kaminari's (which she can be sometimes), but truly he's one of the people she can trust the most. she secretly appreciates the way he hypes up her talents and how he really helps her through the day sometimes!

- she loves heroes so much... when she was a little girl and didn't know what to do she'd ask herself "what would my favorite heroes do!?"

- she also secretly buys hero merch but hides it in fear of her being seen as sappy

Amajiki Tamaki

- would have trouble standing up for himself but if he sees ANYONE messing with mirio he WILL throw hands

- likes to watch bob ross videos when hes feeling anxious

- he once went to a butterfly museum with his parents and cried out of joy when one landed on his nose

- leaves food out for strays in his neighborhood, ends up attracting an entire hoard of animals.

- he can paint very nicely, he began to paint after he discovered bob ross

- mirio then saw his paintings and showed the entire class to tamaki's dismay, but everyone absolutely LOVED them!!!

- every day he becomes more and more capable and sure of himself, he is still very anxious, but he's learning to open up and embrace his talents <3

- he really loves to listen to music and any time he's not around others he'll probably have earbuds in, gently swaying back and forth to whatever he has on

- nejire loves to try out new hairstyles on him, and strangely enough, tamaki lets her, he loves it when people play with his hair

Shirakumo Oboro

- shares one collective braincell with mic

- that one person that brings EVERYONE valentine treats on valentines day at school

- most likely plays ding dong ditch

- *draws stick figure* "ah yes. just like van goh" (he cannot draw)

- hates to see his friends (and even random strangers upset) and will go out of his way to do dumb things to make them smile

- probably played soccer

- he's a massive flirt and likes to believe he will become a stereotypical anime protagonist with a massive harem

- he really wants to see aizawa come out of his shell more and tries his best to encourage him to see the best in everything

- he has most likely worn a schoolgirl uniform to class once

- he's very affectionate and loves to hug his friends (even if they don't want hugs), it's his way of showing he likes people

Hizashi Yamada

- he lives off of caffeine. he is a teacher, pro hero, and radio show host, im honestly not sure how he does it

- gives out stickers when students get the correct answer in class and has class parties when they are well behaved for the semester

- just like everyone else, he has his own turmoil as well, he likes to stay busy because it prevents him from having a lot of time to dwell on the past

- he gives really good hugs, and loves to feel the touch of others, it's very comforting to him

- was probably pretty troublesome when he was very young while he learned to get control of his quirk

- overall a really happy and excitable guy, he loves being the center of attention and if he can make people happy by being what he is, that's awesome!

- he shows his appreciation for people in odd ways, but he always means good, even if his wild antics can be a bit stressful lol

- he likes to sing a lot and does it a bunch when he's alone, he can also play a lot of instruments

- he can be very serious if needed, he does often put on a persona when he's present mic

- when he's hizashi (out of hero persona) he's even more of a dork than usual, very goofy, awkward and pouty. a manchild.

OK so I reached my image limit, if u guys wanna see the rest I might post some more later PLUS feel free to request some in my asks, I don't really know how all that stuff works bc I'm kinda new to Tumblr but ILL FIGURE IT OUT

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marinetteplztakeabreak · 5 years ago

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ADHD!Kagami headcanons

(some of these are really specific to ADHD and others are more general headcanons I have about her)

@gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights

-She’s literally incapable of caring about something a normal amount. Everything is either “I could not care less” (which sometimes includes school lectures or her mom talking, and there’s no use fighting it, she’s not going to process anything that’s being said) or “if I don’t think about this every second of the day, I will die” (and that category very much includes Adrien, and it also includes fencing)

-She has never had any impulse control ever in her entire life. If she thinks something, she’s going to say it out loud immediately. If her brain is like “hey, you should touch Marinette’s face,” she’s going to do it, and then she’s going to stubbornly refuse to regret anything

-She impulsively says some things that can be taken as insults or rude and start fights but it’s also things like halfway through arguing with Chloe she’ll be like “oh by the way Chloe, your eyes are super sparkly and gorgeous, wait where was I?” and then she’ll be like “why??? Did I say that???” but externally she maintains a calm façade and will stand by her random outburst even if it kills her

-She forms opinions on everything incredibly fast and she has such strong opinions on every single thing, even though they change a lot. She’ll hear a new pop song on the radio and be like “this song is the bane of my existence, I’ve never hated anything more” and ten minutes later the song is her ringtone, there is no in between

-She hates being stuck sitting down for long periods of time. Even just riding across town in her mom’s car is torture, she’d much prefer walking, but when she has to take longer trips (eg the Startrain, airplanes, etc.) she spends the whole ride just like “let me move!!! Let me be free!!!”

-Every single social interaction she has, she’s running on an adrenaline high, and she likes talking to people but as soon as they leave she has to take like five minutes to just internally scream because emotions are a Lot and Conversationing is difficult.

-Her RSD is so strong. Anything is an insult if you’re looking hard enough and she takes it as a challenge. Someone will be like “hey Kagami you did amazing in fencing today, it’s always fun to be your teammate, you’re so awesome” and Kagami’s gut instinct will be to defend herself because she’s being attacked, and most of the time she knows that they’re trying to compliment her but that doesn’t stop her brain from doing the thing

-Anytime she experiences any amount of emotion she’s just like “oh God, oh no, what is this, how do I make it go away”

-She’s like “Oh no I went on a date with Adrien and I still feel weird around him, what went wrong?” And she has absolutely no idea that she’s literally just feeling affection for him. She has no ability to name any of her emotions ever. In Ikari Gozen she’s like “oh no Marinette said she hates me, why does my stomach feel like this? I must just be getting too over competitive with the game again and I’m upset I’m not winning, guess I just need to calm down,” and it’s just like”Kagami, no, you’re sad about Marinette”

-Similarly, it took her absolutely forever to figure out that she has a crush on Adrien, she was just like “wow it’s so weird that my fencing adrenaline rushed always get more intense when Adrien’s around” and then she’s like “hey I think I might be allergic to Adrien’s perfume or something because I always feel kinda faint around him”

-She can spend about 3 minutes listening to someone else talk before she absolutely needs to interject

-reading is a nightmare because of sitting still. She can and will climb trees while also reading her school textbooks, and noone else understands how she does it but she doesn’t understand how they don’t do it

-*In silence for 15 seconds* “alright better start spastically snapping and clapping before I die of understimulation”

-*in a crowd for 15 seconds* “oh no it’s too loud, time to see if I can yell at every individual person on the street who’s making noise”

-if she goes too long without practicing fencing she will stim in other ways, and that includes flapping and jumping up and down. If you look at her weird or say anything vaguely insult-like her RSD will kick in and she’ll death stare you until you run away fearing for your life

-she can get completely beaten up in fencing and walk it off but anytime Adrien gets slightly injured her anxiety kicks in and she’s like “from this tiny bruise, I have deduced that you’re going to die” and Adrien has to reassure her that he’s totally fine

-“what do you mean I need to switch activities? I don’t understand what you’re saying, what are these other activities you speak of? I don’t know anything except whatever I’m doing at this current second”

-Whenever she’s hit by a sudden idea she just instictively starts tapping the nearest wall/ desk/ object, which often startles people because it’s very sudden

-whenever she’s saying something that isn’t impulsively blurted out, she has to spend a full minute thinking out her words or else she’ll stutter like crazy

-half the time that she’s listening to someone talk, she’ll just accidentally tune out without realizing it, so a lot of her internal monologue during conversations is just “oh no, oh no what were they saying?” And then she just puts on a serious face because that works in almost every context, and she just nods along

-there’s more in my head but I have to stop at some point so I’ll stop here and maybe add more later

#long post #kagami tsurugi #miraculous ladybug #ml kagami

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mlpdestinyverse · 6 years ago

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Destinyverse Q&A

I asked my watchers on Deviantart to send me questions, related to me or Destinyverse, for me to compile and answer for a Q&A! Below the cut is the full Q&A and I hope it’ll be informative about me, my characters, or the Destinyverse universe! c:

Mysticalite:

1. Do any of your characters have any disabilities (I haven’t read all the bios so I might have missed something) if so, who and what do they have?

When it comes to physical, no! Though Destinyverse!Daring Do does have a permanent wing injury that gets in the way of taking off and flying normally (her wing can lock up and impair movement in the air). When it comes to mental (which I think mental illnesses count?); There's Eventide Twister with her general and social anxiety, and Skychaser has his bouts of depression. Then there's one other character who has dealt with clinical depression, and may still have its effects, but well...this isn't the right time to out them. ______________________________________________

2. Does the pony world in your universe have more relation with the human world? Like do more humans come over to the pony world and vice versa? With all video game stuff that involve Nova Spark, it made me wonder, do the humans share their technology with the ponies?

(Note that my answer is based off of Destinyverse headcanons!) There have been fun, silly stories passed around Canterlot City about magic and monsters and highschool students transforming into magical girl human-pony hybrids. But nowadays, people have waved off such stories as one huge school-wide prank or just exaggerated rumors to give Canterlot High and the city an interesting reputation. After graduating Canterlot High, and after magic disappeared (for the most part) from the human world, both Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight Sparkle agreed it'd be best to keep the existence of the magic portal on the down low. Not that normal humans who have never come in contact with equestrian magic or have never been pulled in at least once can cross it, but...better safe than sorry. A lot of back and forth communication and monitoring of the area around the portal is needed for Sunset or Astral to pass through unseen. Only those with Princess Twilight's permission are permitted to use the portal to cross back and forth.

As for technology! With all Sunset Shimmer has seen and gathered from the human world, the mare has used that knowledge over the years as inspiration to help advance Equestrian technology! Twilight puts her at the head of planning such projects, though they naturally need blueprints and research notes to be approved by Princess Celestia herself before they can start a project and have it produced for Equestria! ___________________________________________________

Craneswoop

3. What kind of technology is available to the ponies from the human world?

Similar to question 2, all advancements to technology in Equestria are human-inspired, but Equestrian-made! And I think it's safe to say magic has been added to the equation to create a unique magi-technology only Equestria would possess (think of how the helicopter blades on Tank's flight gear are run via an enchantment!)

One of the first things Sunset helped introduce were computers and monitors. Naturally an evolution in the gaming industry followed with the creation of consoles and computer games. We also have the creation of CDs and the development of portable music players, which improved the music industry.

There are some ideas still in the works for the topic of technology. For one, what about a development in animation and even TV shows? For some reason I feel like live TV wouldn't be a thing in present-day Equestria (whether because it's still being worked on or...Sunset wants to settle on live radio news broadcasts). Secondly, it'd be nice for there to be a communication device similar to a telephone, but not the complex cellphones/smartphones that humans have. That's an idea being smoothed out!

But one thing's for certain. The human's expansive "world wide web" does not exist in Equestria. Sure, computers - including desktop computers - exist. They're helpful with creating and storing documents and files, digital art, reading discs for computer games, etc. Buuut...Sunset has a new mantra, thanks to her past regrets. ”Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”

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4. I'm sorry if this came up before, but if Dream's parents were both Earth ponies, where did her unicorn traits come from?

It hasn't! I believe one of Dreamaria's grandparents on her father's side is a unicorn! I have a feeling her father grew apart from his own parents for one reason or another, hence why the thought of going to them for unicorn-advice wasn't an option he considered. Dream has no connections to them.

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Jackii-in-the-Box

5. Your characters are beautifully made, but I wonder: Are your characters’ personality and background based on your life, people around you, or both? Or is it just to discover topics through fictional characters?

Thank you so much! And ah geez, this is going to be a long one, I apologize ahead of time. <xD There are a good chunk of characters in Destinyverse that I've handed aspects of my own experiences to. These characters would be Eventide Twister, Monochrome, Dreamaria Flow, Skychaser, and Summer Rush.

Dream, Sky, and Summer have the most subtle connections, don't worry! It ties into the aggressive behavior they've faced in their lives, but to keep it from getting too personal, I'll end that thought there. <:3

Monochrome only has one aspect in particular that I gave them because it's something I struggle with and needed to give form. The chapter "Gallery of Infamy" alone embodies it: a desire to share the things that are important to you with others, especially those that matter most. But when you can't, you're often left with a sense of loneliness. Being able to explore that feeling through Monochrome was pretty freeing. ;w;/

Then there's Eventide Twister, who in all honesty embodies the most aspects in her own way. Specifically, her struggle with anxiety and her plotline with Heather. That's something I don't mind sharing: My ex-friend wasn't Heather. In fact, I've shaped Heather in a way that's made her completely different from the friend I knew. But she was my best friend for many years, whose toxic behavior shaped my anxiety into what it still is today. The chapter "Honesty", while the event that forever damaged me and my friendship didn't play out quite like that, holds heavy references to that event and embodies the emotions I was left with that day. Emotions I had to struggle with for years. But I've gotten better with my anxiety and can function better than I could years ago. I continue to handle my anxiety the best that I can! And everything I've ever learned from my experience, I'm handing over to Eventide. Because even when you're left damaged, without a single bit of closure in sight, you can still heal. You can still overcome your hurdles and build yourself up again. That's what Eventide's character arc is about. And I look forward to sharing what I have planned for her. <X3

There's something almost therapeutic about expressing these internalized experiences and feelings through a medium like this. It gives those things form and provides a way of reaching out and communicating them to others! It's incredible how much reception Eventide's arc received, and seeing others be able to connect and relate to her and share their own personal stories is something I find so, so meaningful. I can only ever hope that being able to see these characters have similar experiences or struggles helps people feel heard or a little less alone...! _______________________________________________________

KannaYui

6. What ships in your NG are endgame? Like, which ones are gonna be official? Like Skychaser and Evergreen

While I can't give a direct answer to that, this question allows me to provide a bit of insight, since I'm sure others have wondered this too!

The reason EverSky is so openly canon is because 1. Skychaser, before he was fully developed, was originally created specifically to be Evergreen's boyfriend. xDD Not that he wasn't going to have more to him, but! That's what motivated me to make him! Now he's developed a solid story role! And 2. I drew tons of EverSky before I even started working on Destinyverse, sO, it's out there in the open. xD

For the other endgame ships? I want to avoid outright confirming certain ships for reasons, and then there are others who I'm just not 100% certain with yet (like the idea of Summer Rush and Jonagold!). Just know that while certain things may be perceived as either romantic or platonic (platonic physical affection after all!!), I'm also...not the most subtle when it comes to hinting or enjoying my own ships. <xDD That's your clue! But I have at least established that ChromeTwister isn't endgame, and I confirmed that because hellevenIenjoyit but I don't want people getting upset thinking that's being set up when it's actually not and Monochrome's crush is a thing of the past. ;w; Feel free to ship what you want though!! As long as it's harmless and everyone's respectful of one another's ships (as well as the canon ships), it's all good. <xD _______________________________________________________

Anthony158

7. When we will see Evergreen past arc?

AH, surprised someone's asking for Evergreen! He indeed has his own past arc, and well...I want to say he'll most likely be the last character to get his revealed, BUT it also completely depends on which arcs I feel like working on as time passes. <xD I already feel like I'm jumping around and unable to settle on one character. But admittedly some things still need to be sorted out for Ever's, so! We'll see! _______________________________________________________

Lack-Rat

8. I've got a question/story idea for you. Are enchanted comics that pull you into the story an established form of entertainment in your world or was that one spike got one of a kind?

I had to look back at the episode in question, but it turns out Spike got that comic from a shop called "The House of Enchanted Comics", so apparently there are multiple! I'm sure that it's somepony's unique talent, since I imagine that kind of spell would be a rather complex one for just any unicorn to perform (and it's a rather specific creative approach)! And because it's unique, I don't think it's a form of entertainment everywhere! Since Spike's comic disappeared at the very end of the episode, I almost think these enchanted comics only have a single copy that can be borrowed before they teleport back to its creator! So there's just one very specific shop in Canterlot that provides such magical comics. c: Hope that creator has their form of comic-enchantment trademarked. u m u

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9. On a related note, do you think Nova would ever invent a game console that magically sucks it's players in, either intentionally or accidentally? Given that he's Twilight's son I wouldn't be surprised if he could.

HAH, the thought never occurred to me, but hey! He probably could. uwu As a whole new generation of gaming~ Though it'd have to be intentional and consensual. xD And it'd be way down the line! His present goal is to just create immersive story-driven games. _______________________________________________________

MadnessOfTheMind

10. This may be considered a spoiler but I still gotta ask- Are Pinkie and Sugarsocks gonna have any kids in ur storyline or are they just a little side idea?

For some reason my mind tells me that those two don't feel a need to have any kiddos! >:0 They're just livin the best life with their business and parties~ Caramello from the Cake family is kind of the closest thing they have to a kiddo they can love and spoil. uwu

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11. Also are we gonna get more Everchaser/Skygreen (Evergreen and Skychaser) panic gay horse content in the future or no? Cuz lemme tell ya I do love my chaotic gay flirt horses lol

YOU HECKIN BET YOU WILL, THERE'S S O MUCH I STILL GOTTA DRAW xD I haven't even introduced their future daughter yet. I'll end up drawing stuff about her eventually. ;w; And I personally call their ship EverSky! Makes me think of a beautiful endless expanse of sky.

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12. Also, what was the first nextgen you came up with an idea for, or what triggered you to start developing a nextgen story on Deviantart? I'm curious owo

I was inspired by Lopoddity's next gen artwork!! I was particularly enamored by her royal next gens and basically went "I...want to design...a kiddo for Luna", AND BOOM, WE GOT PRINCE AMADEUS, my first next gen! Princess Lumina followed after. c: From there I already had Dream Flow and Eventide Twister as characters (Eve was an undeveloped OC at the time), my friend had her character Star Chime, and the existence of my royal next gens started forming a story! A cover (now taken down unfortunately) of the song "Ballad of the Crystal Empire" kick-started ideas for an arc of the present-day story. And as more characters joined the cast, my brain exploded with ideas from there. <xD The realization that I could present this story via illustrated stories and art dumps was the final push I needed to start working on it!

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13. I know abt PTX, but are any other characters inspired by celebs or media figures you like?

Nope! In reality I don't actually keep up with a lot of celebs and media figures. <xD Aside from youtubers maybe, but still.

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14. What do you, Mia, personally like music-wise? What are a few of your favorite bands?

I always have a hard time naming genres because I kind of just like whatever songs sound good to me. <xDD But I think a common pattern is that I really enjoy emotionally-charged songs. Probably why I tend to enjoy songs from musicals (Dear Evan Hansen is perfection, fight me)! I also like things with a good beat, piano, strings, and a combination of all those things is mMMMMgoodshit.

For some bands! And singers! I enjoy Halsey, Panic! At The Disco, PVRIS, Rachel Platten, Paramore, and Marianas Trench!

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UsaHunnyBunny

15. Were you nervous about sharing you Pony next gen stuff?

Nah! I was already posting art and stories for other fandoms in the past, so posting for a new fandom wasn't bad! But most of all, I had a powerful desire to get out of my own way and get my stories out there. I have a hard time communicating my thoughts and ideas with people - or finding a place where I can do that - and it was wearing me down, internalizing my own ideas and passions. SO, sharing my stories became my way of communicating these thoughts and feelings and connecting with others!

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16. Out of all your ships, which is your favorite? Parents of next gen/next gen or otherwise!

For canon characters; TwiTempest is my absolute jam. They're so freaking cute; perfectionistic and panicky princess and her cool-headed and secretly soft guard captain. HM. Runner up would be DaringDash. I never actually shipped them until after I paired them together to create Monochrome. Only then did I realize how cute of a couple they could make. Stubborn, blushy fools.

For my next gens: EverSky was my everything for the longest time, but then came another ship. I won't name the ship, partially because of my whole "no confirming" thing, but also because it's a ship that I don't think anyone will be able to fully appreciate or understand until you see it unfold for yourselves. ;w; It'll become obvious with time~

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17. What advice you'd give someone who wants to share their own fun pony stories/ideas themselves?

WELL! SCREW CRINGE CULTURE FOR ONE. As long as you're not copying or using harmful ideas, HAVE FUN AND BE INSPIRED!! Your ideas deserve to be out there! Not receiving much attention at first can admittedly be disheartening, but please don't give up! Keep believing in your passion, keep expressing it and having fun, and people in time will be able to see and appreciate those things! Also remember that it's okay to retcon if you end up finding ideas that work better. c: And one of the best things is that there's no pressure in posting stories 100% in order. You could jump around from character to character, from present day to the past to an event in the future, etc. In the end, just make sure you're having fun. ;w;/

Also, always have something with you to record new ideas! Your phone, a google doc, a notepad, whatever you need to jot ideas down new ideas as they come! From experience, you might think "oh this is an interesting idea, I can remember it for later". NO. DON'T TRUST THAT MY DUDE. YOU WILL LIKELY FORGET AND THEN HAVE REGRETS AS YOU TRY TO CALL FORTH THAT ONE SCENE CONCEPT OR THAT PERFECT LINE OF DIALOGUE but can't. So just be safe and jot down every idea you like, even if you end up tossing it out in the end. ;w;

ANYWAY! It all starts with you, so please, make that move and share your work~ Who knows who you'll end up reaching with your stories!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

18. Are you aware of how wonderfully talented and adorable you are?

*SQUINTS* I'm only including this cause you legit submitted it, but how dare Myansweristhanksbuthush _______________________________________________________

PurplePenumbra

19. Regarding Dream, has she ever met any other unicorn with the same kind of magic as her? Would she like to? And if so, would she be happy to meet them?

She hasn't! Then again, other than the few times Uncle Serein would take her out of town for an outing or for visits to her grandparents, Dream didn't get out of her town much. Not until she moved to Ponyville! Whether she'd like to meet a similar unicorn is a little MMM complicated. I think meeting another pony with her abilities would at least be a good opportunity to see if she understands the full extent and workings of her magic. >:0 _______________________________________________________

ANONS! 20. Since the last ask reminded me of your mystery dungeon kids: if Eventide, Skychaser, and Dream were a mystery dungeon team, which Pokemon would each of them be and what kind of roles would they take? (tank, ranged, etc)

Dream Flow would be a shiny Ralts (emotion-abilities and psychic-type after all!) She'd be a ranged battler and healer!

Skychaser would be a Dartrix (no reason other than flying type + the hairstyle, and the hood for Decidueye. Besides, grass type boi would work well with grass type - possibly Roserade - Evergreen Glade~) And Sky would be a mixed fighter! Also have...have you guys looked up birds in hoodies. Please do.

Evie would be an Eevee~ Not only cause name play, but! Eventide's a char of possibilities. Darling's gotta find herself. ;w; While a reluctant fighter, if it means aiding her friends, Eve will do her best to fulfil her role as a close-ranged fighter (with Skychaser staying close to help out when needed). She'd also carry a wing-shaped backpack for the team's items! Evolution-wise? Even with no flying type Eeveelution, I think the most perfect evolution for her would have to be Sylveon~ You can piece together why. <X3 _______________________________________________________

21. Which characters were fun to develop and had the toughest backstory to plan?

Fun to develop? Oh Nova Spark all the way. A character who was originally created for fun and to serve the role of Prince Amadeus's best friend has developed into such a major character and I love him. It's probably why he has the longest past arc out of anyone, and also why I'm really excited to work on it BUT WELL I'm worried about leaving everyone else on the backburner. <xD

Hardest backstory to plan? Dream Flow. I've been developing her for over four years now and I'm still trying to sort her out. Heck I was figuring certain things out for her AS I was writing "Impasse". BUT HEY, I think I've settled on a good amount of Dream's story now! I'm sure I'll be editing some things as I go, but I've got a basic idea for what I want! _______________________________________________________

22. You've shown off kids for a lot of the MLP main cast, and they're all great! But one I've never seen mentioned and it has me curious. Does Starlight Glimmer have any kids? Will they be showing up even as a cameo/background pony?

Thanks! So this answer applies to all next gens, but for me to make a next gen, I need either 1. A ship I'm genuinely interested in! or 2. A character concept I want to design, thus I'll figure out parents that could fit the concept best. Examples would be Nova Spark (TwiTempest) and Beat Mania (VinylOctavia) for #1, and Monochrome and Skychaser for #2.

While a Starlight kid sounds nice, I just don't have a Starlight ship that's won me over. <xD Nor do I have any interesting char concepts I could use for a Starlight kid idea; BUT, the thing about that is that I'm not actively trying to create new character concepts. You see, I seem to have a hard time creating background next gen ponies because my mind likes to go off with ideas for almost every character I create. And with the amount of characters I already have, I really don't think I can balance any more characters in the cast without feeling a need to have them play a role in a main plot or another character's plot. And things are complicated as they are. <xDD SO you won't be seeing any new next gen designs unless I find a new MLP ship I REALLY like, or I think up an idea I really want to pursue! ;w;/ _______________________________________________________

23. Do any of the Destinyverse characters have friends that aren't ponies? Some of them did go to the school of friendship after all. Will we ever see them or have them mentioned?

Yep~! But see, those who have attended Friendship Elementary/the School of Friendship (Nova Spark, Eventide Twister, Astral Dusk and Monochrome) ironically are also the characters who have problems with friendship. <xD So none of them have non-pony friends presently.

As for those who do! Evergreen Glade actually has a Kirin friend who is very important to him. You'll meet him in Evergreen's past arc!

Summer Rush is very personable and probably has made friends with both ponies and non-ponies. ;w; None of them have been planned past being minor background characters, though. Maybe they'll have brief mentions! We'll see!

Princess Lumina has made friends with tons of royals/chiefs from other species! Comes with visiting or receiving visits from representatives/leaders/heirs of the other kingdoms within or outside of Equestria!

And finally Terra Rosa....may or may not have a friend who's not 100% human. Without realizing it. _______________________________________________________

24. They all seem to be around the same age, but who's the oldest/youngest of the Destinyverse crew?/How old is everyone supposed to be in Destinyverse?

Keep in mind these are approximate ages, from oldest to youngest! Princess Lumina is the oldest at 27. Then comes (big bro) Skychaser at 26. Summer Rush, Astral Dusk, and Prince Amadeus are around 23. Monochrome (and maybe Evergreen Glade) is 22. Eventide Twister, Nova Spark, and Dream Flow are around 20. And finally, Venture Gale is the youngest at about 14! _______________________________________________________

25. Will we ever be seeing more of Lumina or Amadeus? Will they have a part in this story?

Certainly! The only reason we haven't seen much of them is because we haven't explored the right characters that are connected to them! c: Which would be Prince Nova Spark and Star Chime (again, a friend's character!)! _______________________________________________________

26. Does Venture Gale read his mom's books? How does he react to them if so? Excited, embarrassed, or something else?

Absolutely~! He's a HUGE fan of his own mom's books! He gets so engrossed reading them, getting to re-experience his adventures in such an awesome light. It's exciting seeing himself as a character! Though he does get embarrassed when his mom adds extra narrative commentary, such as writing that Valor Wind is a fast-thinker, intelligent mind, a brave and honest soul, etc. His embarrassment is also fed by people who are die-hard fans of his character (Not that anyone knows he's Valor Wind or that the stories are real. But anyway, he's also incredibly flattered~)). Surprisingly, unlike Rainbow Dash who gets a HUGE ego boost out of their fans, Ven is a rather humble kiddo. But that's to be expected from the boy who becomes a red-faced bean over the slightest compliment. _______________________________________________________

27. Without spoilers, which Destinyverse character would you say has the biggest regrets about their past? Either in a single event or a long time thing?

Astral Dusk. It never occured to me until I read this question, but regret is a leading theme in present-day Astral's character conflict. _______________________________________________________

28. Who is your least to most fav character to draw in Destinyverse? Why?

Favorite character to draw? Nova Spark I think! I love coloring his gradient hair. Much simpler than hair streaks, and it's very pretty <xDD From there, everyone else so far has been on pretty neutral ground.

Now when I say "least favorite", in this case I mean the char that gives me the hardest time. And that'd be Skychaser, only because of his dang hair. <xD Getting the right curls and shape is WEIRDLY hard, but hey that's the price to pay for luscious hair. _______________________________________________________

29. What's Nova and Monochrome's relationship like?

Hehe~ It's a healthy one, built on trust and a sense of understanding they don't really share with anyone else in their lives. They often find themselves on the same wavelength and constantly have one another's back. If I can choose one word that embodies their relationship, I would choose...loyalty.

#mia post #destinyverse

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puppyexpressions · 6 years ago

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Why Do Dogs Whine and How To Stop It

Is your dog a whiner? Have you ever wondered why your dog keeps whining?

It seems like dogs who whine a lot are often trying to tell their owners something. Unlike us humans, dogs can’t use language to communicate with us.

So, whining and the occasional mutters, squeals, and barks seem to be how our pets talk to us. But, sometimes it can be a sign of other disorders and conditions.

It’s important to remember that whining, whimpering and doggie mutterings are all normal behaviors.

If we look at the social structure of dogs, we will notice that puppies often use these high pitched cries as a means of communication to their mothers. However, whining can be both a natural and nurtured behavior.

If you’re a pet owner struggling to understand why your dog is whining, then this article is perfect for you! Here we’ll cover:

Understanding Why My Dog Is Whining?

How Mental Illness Can Cause Whining

Top 10 Dog Breeds Who Whine

How Do I Stop My Dog From Whining

The Answers to Some Common Whiny Dog Problems

Why Is My Dog Whining?

Dogs have long been our companions for thousands of years.

From an evolutionary standpoint, dogs have adapted to understanding human gestures and specific phrases.

Sometimes they may vocalize in different pitches and tempos for us to better understand their needs.

The Attention Seeking Pooch!

Dogs have evolved in such a way that they are now quite capable of manipulating us!

In fact, studies have shown that dogs often use a classic "guilty dog, doe-eyed" look to get away with naughty behavior. This is a language form of communication.

This means that dogs know exactly how they can grab our attention. Not only do they use their body language, but have developed distinctive whining, yelping, and crying techniques to seek attention.

A Doggie in Pain or Fear

Veterinarians know that a whining dog, who may consistently cry may be in chronic pain.

Some examples of chronic pain include:

Dental pain as a result of poor hygiene

Urinary tract infection

Orthopedic pain

It's important to remember that whining and crying can be associated with secondary clinical signs. Dogs who are fearful of a particular situation may whine as a way to warn their owners.

Boredom or Excitement

Whining and whimpering can also be a sign of boredom or excitement. It's important to take the entire situation into account, so you understand why your dog is whining.

Boredom A bored dog may not only whine but may also show evidence of destructive behavior such as digging holes, going through garbage or chewing household items.

Excitement An excited dog will whine, bark and will seem a lot more active and playful. Dogs who tend to whine when excited are high-energy dogs.

How Mental Illness May Cause Whining

Mental illness is a psychological disorder that results in an inability to function normally. It involves conditions such as anxiety, PTSD, depression, dementia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Unfortunately, even our canine friends can succumb to various forms of mental illness.

A Sad pup! Depression in Dogs

Depression in dogs is a poorly understood mental illness. This is because unlike humans we cannot ask our dogs what's wrong! As such, an animal behaviorist relies on a dog's behavior, vocalization & body language to diagnose depression.

The are many reasons why a dog may be depressed, some of these include:

A lack of social interaction with people and other pets

A loss of a close family member or fellow pet friend

Boredom as a result of lack of mental stimulation

Lack of physical activity

Dogs with depression may show symptoms such as:

Excessive licking (OCD)

Lack of interest in activities they may have once enjoyed

Whining or crying if left alone

Anxiety

Excessive sleeping

Lack of eating

A Fearful Pooch! PTSD in Dogs

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is known as a psychological illness that affects people. But did you know even your pooch can experience C-PTSD?

PTSD is not a result of chemical imbalances in your dog's brain. Rather, it occurs as a result of dogs recalling unpleasant memories. For example, PTSD may be most common in dogs that have suffered through:

Abuse

Accidents

Military service

Natural disasters

Dogs with PTSD tend to show symptoms like:

Shaking or trembling

Hiding

Excessive barking

Yelping and whining

Easily spooked

On alert at all times

The Edgy Pooch! Anxiety in Dogs

Anxious dogs tend to whine on a regular basis if they have been placed in an uncomfortable situation.

Anxiety in dogs can come in various forms. Yet, it seems like separation anxiety may be most common as it affects 20-40% of dogs in the United States. But dogs can also experience social, traumatic and noise anxiety.

Social anxiety often occurs when dogs have not learned how to socialize with other pets & humans. As a result, they may become more fearful and cautious when encountering new people or pets.

A classic example of noise anxiety would be dogs who hide or whine when they hear fireworks. Now, noise anxiety doesn't mean that fireworks are the reason for your dog's anxious behavior. In fact, dogs can become fearful of noises such as thunderstorms, cars and even children crying.

Traumatic anxiety goes hand-in-hand with PTSD. For example, if you have recently rescued an abused or neglected dog, then there might be a few triggers that can set them off. This can be the sight or sound of a discomforting object. For example, a dog raised in a puppy mill may not whine or yelp if placed in a crate.

Senior Dogs! A Case of Dementia In Dogs

If your dog whines a lot and happens to be a senior (above the age of 8 years old), then chances are dementia can play a significant role in whining.

Canine dementia is more often referred to as canine cognitive dysfunction (CCD). Currently, there's no definite answer about what causes CCD.

Dogs with dementia often show symptoms like:

Disorientation

An inability to remember people, tasks or routines

Loss of appetite

Pacing

Depression

Anxiety

When it comes to dementia in dogs, an anxious pooch who is not in the right mindset will whine on a regular basis.

Top 10 Dog Breeds Who Whine

Have you ever seen those adorable videos of huskies talking to their owners?

It seems like certain dog breeds may be more vocal than others. We don't know why this occurs. Animal behaviorists suspect that vocalization may be linked to your dog's ancestry and original purpose.

For example, small dogs often tend to whine a lot more than other dogs because they were bred to be watchdogs. The main job of a watchdog was to warn their owners when an intruder was near.

On the other hand, dogs like the husky were pack animals. So, the high pitched howling and whining is a form of pack communication.

Are you curious to know if your dog belongs to one of the top 10 vocal dog breeds?

Howling Husky

Sassy Chihuahua

Yappy Yorkie

Foxhound

Alaskan Malamute

Miniature Schnauzer

Toy Poodle

Dachshund

German Shepherd

Pomeranian

How Do I Stop My Dog From Whining?

Whining and whimpering can also be a sign of boredom or excitement. It's important to take the entire situation into account so you understand why your dog is whining.

Step 1. Find Out The Real Cause of Your Dog’s Whining

You will not get anywhere with training if you don't understand what's causing your dog to whine. Ask yourself:

Does my dog always whine before I do something

Does my dog whine when they’re uncomfortable

Remember, you should never punish your dog for whining. This is because sometimes your dog may whine out of fear or boredom., which is not their fault!

Step 2. Adjust Your Training Tactics To The Cause

The Attention Seeker Dogs who whine for the sake of attention have often learned that they can get away with this behavior. If you have an attention seeking dog, then try ignoring their whining.

For example, if your dog starts whining while you're working, don't yell! Avoid petting them and don't acknowledge their presence.

Once they’re done whining, you can reward this behavior by petting them or giving them a treat.

The Anxious Dog A dog who whines because they are anxious may need weeks to months of consistent training. In this is your case, your job is to find out what makes your dog anxious & desensitize them to it.

For example, to combat separation anxiety, owners can do things like keeping the radio turned on when they leave to ease their dog's mind.

Some dog trainers recommend that you allow your dog to partake in activities that boost their confidence. This can include agility training, endurance courses and obedience training.

Step 3. Use Medication Or Calming Aids

If you've got an anxious or fearful dog, you can look into purchasing natural relaxants.

These days there are many different pet relaxants available in-store or online. The most popular ones are dog pheromone-based products.

Most of these products claim that the product was designed based on the pheromones of a nursing dog. This is because a nursing dog releases pheromones that naturally calm her puppies down.

The same can be true for adult dogs too! The belief is that any adult dog will instinctually be able to recognize and respond to the pheromone.

Step 4 Reward The Correct Behavior

Sometimes dealing with anxious dogs may be difficult when you're away from the comfort of your home. Petcube Bites treat camera is a pawesome way to comfort your anxious dog when they’re not with you.

With Petcube Bites, you can keep an eye on your dog to see if they’re getting a little destructive. If they begin whining, you can talk via the cam’s 2-way audio or give them treats when they stop whining.

If you've got a bored pup, you can also mentally stimulate them via Petcube Bites by asking them to do tricks for a reward.

How Do You Stop your Dog From Crying When You Leave?

Dogs who begin whining before you leave your home may be suffering from separation anxiety. To cure separation anxiety, you must teach your dog to be a little independent.

Here’s a quick brief as to how you can stop your dog from crying before you leave!

Exercise them rigorously before you’re about to leave your home.

Over the course of a few weeks, you can leave the house for a few minutes each day and reward them if they’re quiet.

Sometimes dogs just love the comfort of a human voice. Petcube Bites allows you to communicate with your anxious dog when you’re gone.

Final Thoughts

If you're trying to stop your dog from whining, you must first try to understand why they are whining in the first place.

Whining, whimpering & crying are all natural behaviors for a dog. But, sometimes it may be a sign of other problems such as mental illness, pain or disease.

#whining #dog behavior #dog whining #dog training #training

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euphanisms · 7 years ago

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dnp venus signs

so i was reading up on Dan & Phil’s natal charts kind of recently, specifically their Venus signs, to get a better understanding of their relationship & love languages. a lot of us who are interested in astrology have probably looked into this already, but i just wanted to compile some stuff here in case this is new to you

i added a couple of my own notes into what i’ve copypasta’d from Cafe Astrology, but i’m sure you’ll be able to see other parallels in this text as well

Dan ~ Venus in Leo

Venus in Leo men and women have high expectations, but once you know that these expectations revolve only around how much attention you are giving them, you’ll see that they are really quite big-hearted about most everything else. They are threatened by a relationship that appears to have settled too much, or one that’s lost its spark(1). They are also threatened by indifferent or impersonal behavior on your part(2).

a cool thing about Dan & Phil’s relationship is it’s always ALWAYS been fresh. it’s always been an adventure. even just meeting each other was charged with so much excitement. then they moved in together for the first time & started the radio show, & then after being constant sources of inspiration to each other for their personal channels, they started DanAndPhilGAMES. TATINOF, TABINOF. II. all of their side projects. their travels, moving houses, growing as people & becoming famous. all by each other’s sides. so it’s no wonder that Dan feels safe in his relationship with Phil: they’ve never lost that spark.

sounds like our sweet, jealous Dan

Although their needs for physical expression through sex are generally quite strong, their need for love is perhaps even stronger(1). It is hard for Venus in Leo people to separate love and sex, and even their most erotic fantasies are infused with love and affection. For this reason, few Venus in Leo folk would last long in a relationship that is mostly sexual. On the flip side, they may last longer in a love-only relationship in the absence of satisfying sex, but they are unlikely to feel very satisfied(2).

yea like. we been knew that Dan loves him some sex. but his edgy exterior isn’t quite covering the glaringly obvious softie within. this boy straight up just wants to be loved, & he’s not gonna let many people close enough to give him that (hi Phil)

is it just me or is this screaming 2012? when dnp were carefully & cautiously maintaining a very obvious distance from each other, they still stayed together. they still wanted to live together & work together. they were still so close. we can’t truly know what happened away from cameras & the internet, but we know that while their relationship may have changed, their bond did not.

Pleasing Venus in Leo involves paying loads of attention to them. If you’re willing to make only one adjustment in your ways, it should be to remind Leo how wonderful they are(1). Respect and appreciate them, always. Put up with their childlike moments and their tall tales. They want to be seen as attractive by you, so avoid (at all costs!) putting them down in this area(2). They actually lose interest when they perceive the slightest loss of interest in their partner, and you can expect that any letdown will be acted out in a dramatic fashion. Remind them, in a gentle way, that your emotions count too. If you are feeling a little jealous, let them know. Remember, to Venus in Leo, your small jealousies are affirmations that you find them attractive and expect the rest of the world to as well(3). Let them decide where to go on a date, and let them pay too. When Venus in Leo feels loved and appreciated, they reward you with loyalty, a big sense of fun, and plenty of physical expressions of their love.

yep. Dan loves attention.

to me, it always seems like Phil is genuinely happy to allow Dan his little Extra Moments™. he’s just giggling good-naturedly & looking at Dan like sunshine is coming out of his ass. & you better believe Dan is fucking Thriving off of that

@ jealous Dan 👀 u seeing this, babe? yeah, Phil’s hot. people with eyes are gonna look at him. but dw, you already got him. he fucking loves you. you can breathe.

Love is magnificent and grand to Venus in Leo people. They take pride in love and their love relationships, and they are typically generous with their money(1). This is a warmhearted, teasing, expressive, proud, and extravagant placement for Venus. Love is a bit of a game–a game that is perpetual, as Venus in Leo is forever stuck in the romance stage of a relationship(2). They feed on attention, acknowledgement, validation, and adoration. Venus in Leo loves to be adored, pampered, and admired(3). They have a strong ego investment in their love lives. The negative expression of this placement is overstating of feelings simply for the effect, as well as extravagance(4).

i know we all love the idea of sugar ddy Capita£ester, but i also bet Dan has his own little ways of spoiling Phil that would probably make us all dissolve into a pathetic pile of tears & puke if we knew 💕

immediate visual of Heart Eyes Howell

i think this is part of why Dan does so well with YouTube & liveshows & all that, despite his introversion & social anxiety: he’s got a really deep-seated need for validation & adoration.

ahem

Venus in Leo people may spend a lot on entertainment or sometimes just to show off! They generally are big tippers and give special and generous gifts. They are attracted to art, furnishings, clothing, and music that is bold and passionate, renaissance, lush or opulent, lavishly comfortable, and romantic(1).

like if that doesn’t have Dan’s name written all over it idk what does

Phil ~ Venus in Sagittarius

When Venus in Sagittarius people are in love, they need to feel they can grow and expand their horizons through their relationship. They want to learn new things, and experience everything together(1). These are idealistic lovers who want you to appreciate their beliefs, visions, and ideals. They can be a confusing mix of the lighthearted and serious(2). They are roamers and seekers, and don’t commit in their relationships as easily as others.

now who do we know who are attached at the hip & have been through every major milestone in their adult lives together? 🤔🤔 i’ll echo what i said for Dan: every success they’ve achieved, all their self-growth... they’ve attained together or by each other’s sides. i’m not crying you are

P H I L - WHAT DOES THAT SPELL

Venus in Sagittarius men and women turn others on with their big smiles and laughs, their jokes, their grand schemes, their dreams, and their friendly, flirtatious behavior(1). They pride themselves on their open minds, but you may notice they can be judgmental too. They are threatened by inhibitions on the part of their lover, dullness, and emotional overkill. They are restless, and won’t put up with lovers who dwell on any one thing. When the going gets tough in their relationship, they have an overwhelming need to run away. Usually this only means getting out and experiencing something new before they come back, but sometimes it can be for good(2). They are attracted to people in love with life. You don’t need to be refined, polished, or graceful to win their favor(3).

aka Phil’s entire channel + why we all love him to fucking death. also, the friendly, flirtatious behavior thing?? omfg, they’ve got his fuckin number there

man, i mean. again: we don’t for sure know all of what happened in 2012. but we do know that their relationship is resilient. maybe that’s in part due to the distance they placed between themselves. who knows

good news, Dan :+)

Pleasing Venus in Sagittarius involves allowing them lots of room in the relationship to grow. Avoid getting stuck in a rut, and understand their need to move on. Learn to laugh, but take their rants and raves seriously(1). Avoid criticizing their beliefs, join them in debates, and philosophize along with them. When they feel the need for more experience, join them! Learn to look past their clumsiness with you and your feelings, and avoid cornering them or forcing them to commit(2).

“So what japes do we have planned for today, Phil?” Dan asked, a fond smile playing at his lips even as his eyes flicked skyward for a half-second. yeah, we see that all the time. Dan is very good at going along with whatever silly thing Phil wants, & that is important

Phil is clumsy... he might be clumsy with feelings sometimes too. that’s pretty normal for Aquarius (his sun sign) as well

Romantic adventures, as well as a straightforward–even blunt–approach to love(1), are themes with Venus in Sagittarius. Truth and higher meaning are things that take priority with Sagittarius. There can be some inconstancy and possibly a tendency to escape or flee when love is too complex, intricate, or needy(2).

hey remember 18 year old Dan tweeting to Phil like his life depended on it until he got a response? & then remember how fucking openly flirty Phil was with him all the time after that? pepperidge farm remembers

yikes. i mean i’m js: this is likely a tough point of contention that they deal with often in their relationship. Dan is a v emotional dude. Phil might find the need to detach himself from that intensity sometimes & i guarantee that Dan is Not having it. :/

They are usually sincere, upright, and straightforward about what they want. They enjoy getting to know a lover on a philosophical level, exchanging ideas, and experiencing things together(1).

again, i really feel like this is their whole life together. they’re always bouncing ideas for content off of each other, talking about pop culture & world events, & everything they experience (say it with me) they experience together.

Venus in Sagittarius people are not always especially attached to personal possessions. They are not known to be especially frugal(1), although some of them equate money with freedom, and will gladly put money aside for travel.

all in all: these boys work stupid well together. in love, creativity, friendship, & their professional life. it’s literally written in the stars. sorry i don’t make the rules

Venus Signs - Cafe Astrology

#natalie says things #wow i said a lot of things #i hope y’all appreciate that this took me over an hour to do #but it was fun #i love astrology & their star charts are so interesting to me #dnp #dan and phil

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jernal · 6 years ago

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A Day in Inpatient Eating Disorder Treatment

It’s Monday, weekday 1/5 (unless you’re still new or untrustworthy because then you’re here all weekend too; no leave), breakfast is at 08:00 but we have to be in the lounge at 07:00 for bloodwork. I set my alarm for 06:30. I need this. My alarm starts quiet and gets louder but my brain jolts awake at the first tone; I’m so worried my roommate Miranda is growing to resent me and my alarm. I shower at night so I can get up and out quietly. I’m always tip-toeing. I’m tired though so it takes me a minute to peel myself off of my starchy hospital sheets. I didn’t sleep well because overnight every 20 minutes a nurse walks into our room with her iPhone flashlight on, shining it in our faces and whispering “checks” as if I might not know why she’s here. Sometimes I hold my eyes wide-open, staring, just to unnerve the night nurses. There were two Code-Whites last night too. Alarms and screaming. In Ottawa, the Regional Centre for the Treatment of Eating Disorders (AKA: your only option) is made up of just six beds on the locked general psych ward. Fourth floor, north wing. Code White, Four North. Code Blanc, Quatre Nord. So I get up and tip toe out of my room and into the half-lit hallway. I no longer care about how socially unacceptable it is to walk around a place full of people in my sleep clothes and bare feet. I’m wearing a purple nightgown with thin straps and a low open back; it’s cute. I walk to the nurses station and stand by the reinforced glass window waiting to be noticed by the clerk. It’s Bruno. He never fails to have a positive attitude and light sense of humour - it must not be easy to do in a place like this. He knows that I’m here to ask for my curling iron or straightener. I switch it up every morning. He waves it in front of the glass like a treat in front of a dog. I am the dog. I have no power. He means it as a joke though and I do appreciate him. I have to say please and thank you to him - he doesn’t tolerate my teenager attitude; I’m 24, but living in an environment where I have no rights and am at the mercy of a wide variety of older-adults has made my sass-control regress a bit. While I wait for Bruno there’s a man with long dreadlocks wearing a hospital gown, spinning circles and popping wheelies in a wheelchair close by. I usually avoid interacting with general psych patients but he talks to me a bit. He tells me he killed someone and he’s here until he can be assessed, then he’s probably going back to jail. He seems more sane than the majority of gen psych patients and I’ve never see him before so I talk to him till I have my curling iron. I have to return it once it’s cooled, I’m not allowed to have cords.

I sneak into our bathroom and close the door before I turn on the light. I’m really concerned with people potentially hating me, letting a stream of blinding light escape from the bathroom would make me easily hate-able. I do my hair and then sit on my bed to do my makeup. Miranda is up by now and I can turn on a light. I take time to do my makeup and my hair, I pick out an outfit and I don’t outfit-repeat for as long as possible. This seems stupid but looking like myself is the one of the few things I have control over. I will not become a sweatpant-wearing, dirty hair, slipper-footed hospital patient. I’m here for a long time and I’m going to gain weight and struggle with that - I don’t need to struggle with feeling ugly and frumpy too. I apply my usual false lashes.

It’s 06:50 now. The six of us have an unspoken arrangement when it comes to bloodwork: first come, first serve, first leave. The two smokers, Nate and Amy are usually first. We meet in one of the two lounges. There are a couple psych patients in there too. One is an old man in his hospital gown going hard on the elliptical in the corner. There’s just the one exercise machine, it’s pretty random and for some of us it’s very hard to ignore; we could risk being discharged on the spot for getting on that thing. The room otherwise has a TV encased in plexiglass on the wall, a variety of leatherish couches, chairs, some tables, two vending machines and a small shelving unit with mushy ancient puzzles and boardgames. None of them have all their pieces, that’s a guarantee. The nurse is 15 minutes late, pushing her cart in casually like we haven’t been waiting anxiously to do bloodwork and get the fuck out. I don’t mind needles. I watch. Once I’m done I head to the set of double doors of 4 North. I have to have Bruno buzz the first set unlocked, walk into the vestibule, wait for it to close behind me and have him unlock the second set. I’m going to Critical Care; it’s a huge open space with the Tim Hortons (not the Second Cup that’s closer but yuckier) and giant windows and couches. I bring a book and sit with my coffee as long as possible. I won’t be alone again all day.

I come back up at 07:55 and wait in the hall outside our special EDP kitchen. The gen psych population eats in the lounge or in their rooms. Some of them are aware that we have our own special room but not aware enough to understand why. Sometimes they yell about it. Once, a non-verbal man came in and took the glass base out of our microwave and we had to pull an alarm because our nurse had left briefly. Our nurse this morning is a bitch. I can’t put it any nicer. Her name is Brenda and we got off on the most wrongest foot ever. There’s a general belief that people with eating disorders are sneaky, manipulative liars. I fancy myself a rational adult and choosing to recover in this way was hard enough; it makes no sense to me at all that I’d voluntarily leave my job and move onto this ward just to lie and sneak around and try to lose weight and be symptomatic. She didn’t talk to me or get to know who I am before deciding I was bad. Seeing her walk down the hall, realizing she was our nurse for the 7-3 shift, makes my stomach flip. It causes me more anxiety than the meal itself. I spoke with the ward manager a few weeks ago though, Brenda apologized to me. She was wrong and treating me unfairly, for no reason evident to me. She still makes me anxious though. She’s late but she doesn’t apologize. If we’re late we’re actually punished with having to eat more at snack time. Punishing an unrelated infraction with food - now that’s logical. During Breakfast, we turn a radio on so it’s not silent. Brenda talks though - she’s famous for it. She’ll keep talking even though no one responds. She’ll keep talking even after we’re finished and waiting for her to start check-out. Breakfast is one of the worst meals in the day. In the wise words of Nate, my best friend in this hell-hole, “this meal makes no sense”, and they’ll chastise us saying meals don’t have to ‘make sense’ but having toast, a muffin with cream cheese on it, an apple and a glass of milk is a lot. But wait, cause if you’ve ordered a bran muffin with cream cheese too often (‘too often’ is completely based on the opinion of the power-tripping dietician, Shelley) you might get a bran muffin and…. a piece of plastic-wrapped, room-temperature cheddar cheese. This meal makes NO sense. So you down each piece as quick as possible because, that’s totally normal and not disordered eating, right? Yuck. When we start passing our plates to the person closest to the dish cart Brenda wraps up her latest anecdote, sighs, then turns to her side and asks the nearest one of us how their breakfast was. We have to say something positive - how this helps our recovery, (lying when necessary to come up with an acceptable response) I’m not sure. I say “I liked the muffin.”. Nate raises his eyebrows a tiny bit, tilts his head sharply and says “my omelette was the same temperature as my milk” and I stifle a laugh. He is a barista in the real world and he has a chalkboard-painted travel mug. Every day he writes something on it, every day I look forward to it. Today he’s written “Day 42: one lump, or two? “‘six’” - Shelley”. Last Friday's mug said “Day 39: to have your pancake and eat it too”.

The day is spent in groups. There’s CBT group, led by a Nurse Practitioner, Simin, who is almost like a psychologist… except not at all. There’s family and relationships groups: open-circle groups led by Stephanie, an actual psychologist who can only speak in that whispery therapeutic tone shrinks develop. These groups drive me insane because it’s completely unstructured and we might spend the hour listening to some rambly, whiney story about someone’s mom. I’m a bitch though. It helps that person to talk, but hearing about five other people’s problems doesn’t benefit me at all. I have a therapist in the real world, I want to exempt myself from these groups. There’s body image, the ONLY group led by the psychiatrist who runs the inpatient program. There’s DBT where we just watch one patient draw a chain of events and we analyze the shit out of it for an hour. There’s ‘take charge’ group led by Jodie, a social worker, where we made resumes…. (most of us are adults with jobs), There’s medical education run by Simin again, the NP, possibly the only valid group although she chooses a topic at random and it’s very basic information, I truly appreciated the group where she explained that ‘gluten-free’ diets are a bullshit trend. There’s a group led by Shelley the dietician where we learn about the food pyramid and how milk is good for you.

Lunch is at noon. 2 starches, 2 protein, 1 vegetable, 1 fat, 1 fruit, 2 dairy. Afterwards we do menu marking. We sit together and circle the meals on wide menu sheets that we’ll have for the next five days. It’s so stressful I know ahead of time to ask for a PRN. I request clonazepam. In my pre-treatment life, I used this med as a sleep aid. Now it doesn’t affect my wakefulness in the slightest. I’m so anxious it barely does anything at all. I struggle immensely writing out my future five days. Trying to do it ‘right’. Trying to pick the ‘right’ things. Trying not to forget any portions. I hand over the sheets of marked menus to Brenda or Shelley and they skim it and accept it or point out flaws. I don’t trust the acceptance anyway, Shelley might make changes later without my consent. Why bother giving us this ‘responsibility’ and ‘control’ and ‘choice’ if you’re going to make changes later without warning and our food comes up with something senseless and surprising that we’re forced to consume anyway? Mixing food & eating with a sense of insecurity and distrust. Excellent. Oh, did I mention that if we’re late to group, chewing gum etc, we might also be punished by having one menu taken away, meaning one of our days meals will be totally redone by whoever is in charge at the time. It’s no wonder that this task and these people are actually giving me bigger trust issues and general anxiety than I probably came in here with.

We also meet with the psychiatrist, Dr. Proulx, on Mondays. This is the only time we see her besides Body Image group, DBT sometimes, and Feedback (which is Tuesdays, a long table with all staff and all 6 of us) and it is the only time we see anyone on EDP staff one-on-one… and even then, Simin The NP is usually present as well. Throughout my time in program I won’t ever understand the purpose of this ‘one-on-one’ meeting besides to discuss medication. When I was admitted Dr. Proulx questioned the medication I’m on and suggested going off of it and trying something more fitting. I’m on Limotrigine, an anti-convulsant used off-label as a mood stabilizer for bipolar and schizophrenia. She didn’t know me or my history, decided it was the wrong medication, but then didn’t do anything to change it.

At 3pm, the nurses switch shifts. It’s a gamble, there are a few nurses who are true gems and a few who are new and/or unfamiliar with the psych ward. None of the nurses are specialized in eating disorders, they’re just trained nurses who happened to end up on the psych ward and then happened to end up assigned to us. Despite the clear lack of formal training or understanding, some try to psychoanalyze or offer impromptu therapy sessions. On one of my first days, a filipino nurse with broken english came in to ask me how my first shower was. I wanted to tell her it was worse than the public pool showers I remember vaguely from my childhood swimming lessons but I figured she wouldn’t get my dark sense of humour and just nod along knowingly, supportively, ahh yes, I see. But does she see? My bathroom comes equipped with two milk crates stacked sideways forming a sort of shelving unit for us to store tiny hospital towels. I have my razor hidden between a few of them, I just can’t stand having to ask for it every second day and I am not a self-harm risk. None of us are; self-harm = automatic discharge. The bathroom has a stand up shower, no shower curtain, just an open doorway beside a metal shower head protruding from the wall. Our bathroom door has no locks and our room’s door has a towel wrapped around the handles, preventing it from closing fully. My roommate has a huge problem with the lack of security and lack of privacy. She sleeps in a sleeping bag on top of her bed. The filipino nurse asked me if I had any urges and on my first day I was naive enough to not know what the hell she meant, asking nervously knowing my roommate was on her bed behind our divider curtain, certainly hearing this exchange, and the nurse clarified by miming cutting her wrists. Yep, definitely not a mental health professional. At 3pm I’m overjoyed to see our nurse is Barb. Colleen is a close second best-case-scenario, a warm, smiley woman with a kind voice and a motherly demeanour. Barb is funny and also very kind. She holds one of us back at random after dinner to check-in and unlike every other nurses attempts at therapeutic conversations, I do enjoy chatting with Barb. She believes me when I tell her I didn’t mean to cut my meat up into ‘too-small’ pieces, she believes me when I tell her that’s not an ED behaviour I have. She believes me when I say I know what I’m doing here, what I mean to accomplish, what my goal is; I mean to spend my 8 weeks (that’s the max, I had decided right away) eating well-rounded meals and gaining some weight. I know I’m sick, I know I have an eating disorder and I know I’m doing serious damage to myself, she hears me when I say this. She believes me, and more importantly, she respects my decision, when I tell her I’m not looking to work on issues relating to past relationships, family, self. I’ve worked with half a dozen therapists by now, I know that 8 weeks in an artificial environment made up of 90% group therapy sessions is not the place for me to open up about any and all issues, I know it won’t help and could actually hurt. Barb hears me and believes me. I respect her for respecting me and treating me like a rational adult. Dr. Proulx tells me that anorexia is not rational, therefore I am not rational. It’s like she doesn’t think that eating disorders are mental illnesses, and I can be level-headed and rational about any other area of my life. I feel distrust and scrutiny from almost every direction. I’m a perfectionist and feeling like I am failing constantly is extremely distressing. Not feeling approval from those in charge of my care and recovery is really hard for me.

Dinner with Barb is nice though, and often times meals are ok. The food isn’t all terrible. I did make a dire mistake of selecting a ‘salisbury steak’ not actually knowing what it was but knowing what steak was and knowing I was in The Red Meat Club (low iron) so I didn’t have a lot of choice anyway. Salisbury steak, the hospital kind at least, is something I don’t ever wanna see or smell .. or taste.. again. Imagine how hard it was finding a positive to share with the group after that surprise. I also tried my very first Shawarma here in the EDP kitchen. It was pretty good. We’re a bit lucky because EDP gets extra menu options and they’re good ones like Stir Fry of the Day, different sometimes but good almost always. Barb is nice but she’s just as strict as the rest of the team, things can still go bad real quick - like someone throwing a pudding cup across the table, scattering silverware and cups everywhere. I leave the kitchen when Barb said “ok you all can go except….” and she chooses someone she’s been wanting to chat with, hasn’t seen around much, etc. It’s not me today.

What’s difficult about the routine after dinner is that unless it’s the one day a week where we have our glorified arts and crafts group (therapeutic creative expression?) we have 2+ hours to kill. We have visitors or we hang out or just hide behind our curtains watching Netflix on our laptops. If we have arts and crafts, whichever nurse happens to be on shift that night picks an activity at random, I think they must google it 20 minutes prior, and we’re expected to do the activity as if it’s crucial to our progress and recovery. The only example I can even think of is when Brenda told us to “draw what having a life looks like” and in her better-than-thee way, left it at that. So poetic and profound and intentional. I basically regressed back to my oppositional high school self, took her directions exactly literally and sketched a perfect anatomical fetus in utero. That’s what it looks like when someone “has a life” inside them. Everyone else did what I knew she wanted; smiley faces and playing outside and friends and family and food and stuff. No. I’m an artist. I won’t conform.

Since dinner is at 5pm, night snack feels miles away at 8pm and that’s great except then we’ve eaten (sometimes several things) so late before bed it makes relaxing enough to sleep really difficult. I have graduated to a meal plan where even at snacks I have to consume what feels (to my body) like a LOT of food. Because I’m still not gaining weight as fast as they think I should be, I’ve had an Ensure Plus Calories added to my meal plan. I have a Chocolate Ensure Plus Calories with a pack of 4 two-bite brownies. At 8:00pm, after a solid dinner and a solid day of solid meals. I regret immensely choosing this too-chocolatey snack combo. No point wishing it wasn’t so, I sit down with my things. We all scan across the table to see what everyone else has. No one is jealous of me. We came in on our own and are waiting for Barb but she’s actually taking her dinner so Nurse Will comes in. Nurse Will is a hottie, or at least.. the hottie. There aren’t a lot to choose from (although, pro-tip: set your Tinder location settings to as narrow as possible and you’ll pick up a lot of nurses and doctors in here). Nurse Will has helped out with EDP nurses on occasion but never on snack with us. He seems a little uncomfortable, not sure what routine we follow. I open my brownie packet and discover there are 5 and not 4. I panic. I look around wildly trying to catch someone’s attention. Amy sees me first, sigh of relief, Mom might help me. My voice cracks and I tell Will there’s an extra brownie it’s only supposed to be 4. I know this is not an anorexia thing, but I know normal people would be delighted by an extra brownie, but normal people don’t also have to down the 400 calories of chocolate ensure I do. I’m already challenging myself so much and oh jesus god if he makes me eat the 5th one that I was never supposed to have I’ll throw a proper fit. I’ll get myself discharged. But he makes one joke about how ‘oh I guess you have to eat it!” but my look of terror had him quiet down and say it’s all good if they say so? Confirmation from my team that it’s ok if I don’t eat the 5th brownie. We do that too, sometimes someone has an issue and the team weighs in and says well I had that food too so it’s ok for you to, or maybe hmmm that is a lot of rice if you’re not ‘challenging’ this meal. My life was in their hands but they unanimously agreed that 4 is the normal in those bags. Safe. Well, still very full of heavy, rich, chocolatey calories. Camille gives me a shy smile and thumbs up from across the table. I remember the first time she did this to me, my first day here and I was pushed into lunch with 5 people I didn’t know, a room I’d never been in, a sandwich I didn’t like. And I cried. And cried and cried. Quietly as possible, because surely the other 5 people were uncomfortable. But I looked up and Camille was waiting for me to look up, her hand clenched in a thumbs-up of encouragement. I wanted to cry and run away and I was so embarrassed and this stranger was being more kind than she needed to be.

After snack I jump in the shower. As quickly as human possible because as I’ve mentioned, our shower is drafty, the shower head is such a little nub on the wall that you have to press your back flush with the cringey tiles to be under the shower head’s spray zone. I don’t stop thinking about what I’d do if the bathroom door suddenly flew open. After, I dry off using 3 scratchy little hospital towels and walk down the hall to drop em in a laundry bin. I grab new ones cause I need to rebury my razor in them. My MacBook and it’s charger are under my mattress.

At night I usually hang out with Nate. We might go down so he can smoke and for my last dose of fresh air for the night. Back on the ward, we sit up on the counter outside my room and watch the nightly traffic go by. We read IKEA catalogues, make up backstories for patients. We watch this NBA sized guy pacing slowly, dragging his catatonic feet but managing to have feverish conversations with the people in his head. Otherwise, the hallway traffic tour slows and we have some quiet. We sit in the lounge watching the other nurses all doing checks together and chatting. Eventually Nurse Jillian will firmly encourage us to go to our rooms. It’s probably 1am but I’ll be up at 6:30am and tip toe out of bed to start this all over again.

Except tomorrow is Tuesday, We’ll have Feedback at a round table with the whole EDP staff, all 6 of us, and go round the table one-by-one one staff delivering the feedback of all to the one patient. Feedback is maybe more stressful than Menu Marking but not usually for me. I go into Feedback having faith that these professionals discussed and shared their thoughts, that I can’t get bad feedback because I’ve done nothing but try to do everything right. Feedback can change everything for some… not for me….. until the time that it does.

But that’s another Day in Inpatient Eating Disorders Treatment. A Tuesday

#words #edp #anorexia #eatingdisorder #inpatient #ed inpatient #ed treatment

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pooma-bible · 4 years ago

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Sister.Savita Manwani

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Greetings in the matchless name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I welcome you all for today’s word ministration. Stay tuned and be blessed.

Let us Pray: Heavenly Father, thank you for this time and opportunity you gave to share your word. Lord, let your word accomplish the purpose for which it has been sent and may your name be glorified and exalted in and through our lives. In Jesus name. Amen.

Topic: The 7 habits of strong believers

Habit means a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary. Every individual has one or more habits. Some have good habits while some have bad habits. Good habits is a positive behavior pattern that could start or continue with will power and/or change with a cue and/or reward where as bad habits is a negative behavior patterns that you continue to do that you could stop with will power and /or a change in the cue or reward.

We as believers, must possess good habits and we can practice those on daily basis as a daily routine and become stronger and stronger day after day in our spirits. By doing so, we will become a firm believer, well rooted and grounded, able to resist the devil and receive more from God – no matter what comes our way.

Galatians 6:8 - For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

If we plant to please our own desires, we harvest a crop of sorrow and evil. If we plant to please God, we will harvest joy and everlasting life.

The habits we inculcate in our lives have results. Good habits will bring good and glorious results. Therefore, as strong believers in God, we must have a daily routine that will put an end to a life of defeat and discouragement and take us to a new and higher level of faith bringing victory in our lives.

When we establish the 7 habits of strong Christians in our lives, it will keep us strong, protect us from the plans and schemes of the enemy and give us a victorious life.

7 Habits of a Strong Believer

1. Strong believers feed their spirits

Mathew 4:4 - But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ”

Mathew 6:11 - Give us this day our daily bread.

Just as we need food for our physical body, we need food for our spiritual body, too. Daily intake of food sustains our physical body, keeps us healthy, strong and protects us from various disease and illnesses. Similarly, daily intake of spiritual food sustains us through the trials that come our way and gives us victory over every situation and over the enemy. By feeding your spirit you are making your inner man stronger.

We should spend time in the word of God on daily basis as a routine giving it priority in our lives. Pastor Rick Renner says – No word, No breakfast. He does not eat breakfast until he feeds his spirit with the word of God every morning. We too, need to have this habit of feeding our spirits every morning before we feed our stomachs.

2. Strong believers build up their faith by listening to God’s word daily

We are responsible for our own faith. It is not God’s, or our pastor’s or our spouse’s responsibility. To develop a strong faith, God has given us the tools to do so. We must develop a kind of faith that moves mountains, shuts the mouths of lions, quenches the flames of fire, turns weakness to strength, and puts whole armies to flight (Hebrews 11:33-34).

Romans 10:17 - So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Listening to God’s word everyday will increase our faith. No one can have faith without hearing the word of God. The more you hear the word the more you develop your faith. Always feed your spirit by listening to God’s word either by listening to message tapes, radio broadcast, Television networks, social media sites, and also live messages by men and women of God. By hearing the word of God on daily basis, we will build our faith and then victory will follow.

Remember, doubt also comes by hearing. Therefore, be careful in what you are hearing.

3. Strong believers strengthen and encourage themselves daily by speaking God’s word

Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue,

And those who love it will eat its fruit.

Strong Christians speak the Word and only the Word over their lives and the lives of those around them. They know it is often a matter of life and death.

Mark 11:23 - For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.

You are what you speak. Also what is in our heart comes out of our mouths. Therefore, put God’s word in your heart and speak with your mouth.

Whenever we face trials and temptations, we should speak the word of God. This is exactly what Jesus did when tempted by the devil. (Mathew 4:1-11). He spoke only the word of God and we need to do the same.

We need to speak words of healing, blessing, abundance, peace, forgiveness, prosperity. Speak the word again and again. Confess God's word in faith and you will be surprised how it will change your life.

4. Strong believers dominate and control their thought life by filling their minds with God’s word.

Joshua 1:8 - This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

We need to set aside time each day to read and think about God’s word. Remind ourselves of God’s word day and night. Act today on what you know God has said and God will assure your success in carrying out his purposes.

Remember, our thoughts affect our words which in turn affects our health, prosperity, joy and peace and every other area of our life. Therefore, we must fill our minds with the Word of God by meditating on it and allow the word of God dominate and control our thoughts.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers and sisters, fill your minds with beauty and truth. Meditate on whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good, whatever is virtuous and praiseworthy.

What we put into our minds determines what comes out in our words and actions. Paul tells us to program our minds with thoughts that are true, noble, right, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy.

We need to examine what we are putting in our mind through the television, books, internet, conversations, movies, and magazines. Above all, read God’s word and pray. Ask God to help you focus your mind on what is good and pure. It takes practice but it can be done.

5. Strong believers anchor and establish their heart by giving God continual praise and thanksgiving.

Psalm 34:1 – I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

Praise is a language of faith, a language of receiving. A strong believer must praise God at all times. That’s why we are called to bless the Lord at all times, no matter what is happening in our lives. Whether we face good times or bad times we must praise God.

We have countless reasons to praise God for what he has done in our lives, what He is doing and what He will do in the days to come.

Praise is an act of faith. If you believe you receive what you’ve asked - you’ll thank God for it—even if it hasn’t manifested. Praise says, “I know it’s coming.”

Strong believers praise God because praise produces spiritual strength.

Psalm 8:2 - Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, Because of Your enemies, That You may silence the enemy and the avenger.

Matthew 21:16 - and said to Him, “Do You hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes. Have you never read, ‘Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have perfected praise’?”

Children are able to trust and praise God without doubt or reservations. As we get older, we find it difficult to do. Therefore, ask god to give you child-like faith, removing any barriers to having a closer walk with Him.

6. Strong believers edify themselves and charge their battery by praying in other tongues

Jude 20: But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 14:4 - He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the church.

A strong believer prays in the spirit and keeps himself spiritually charged. When we pray in the spirit, we edify or uplift ourselves. Praying in tongues strengthens our spirit and builds up our faith. It takes us into the spiritual realm and opens the door to revelation, wisdom, instruction and encouragement.

7. Strong believers become streamlined by getting rid of baggage

Hebrews 12:1 - Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

Streamlining in an important concept in aerodynamics. To streamline is to reduce resistance, creating a faster and smoother journey. The idea is to remove anything that would slow the aircraft, or person, down. The ultimate goal in streamlining is optimum performance and a victorious outcome.

That’s what we are called to do in our spiritual lives. When God told us to “strip off every weight that slows us down, He meant streamline our lives so we can enjoy optimum victory.

Sin keeps us from moving ahead. It eats us from inside, it blunts. We are demotivated and pulled down with guilt and despair.

If we need to run faithfully and cover the distance we need to shed the baggage of sin that holds us back. Not just sin it could be anxieties, worry, stress, fear also. Whatever it is, make the decision to get rid of it today! It’s slowing you down. Take off anything that is hindering you, and run your race to victory!

When you put these 7 habits of strong Christians into practice on a daily basis, you will develop the kind of spirit that will cripple the enemy and ensure the kind of victory you’ve always dreamed of. This is the life Jesus died to give you. This is the life you were meant to live.

Allow me to end here. God bless you abundantly!

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majisportsllc · 5 years ago

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The Power of Gratitude

Gratitude, like faith, is a muscle!

1. We become what we think about!

If you turn on the television or listen to a radio talk show, many of the information that is delivered to you is often negative, devastating, traumatic, or sad. The same can be witnessed in social media today: cyber bullying and online public criticism. We seem to be surrounded by this type of energy. It makes you wonder how this affects you personally. If you're constantly exposed to negative words and stories, what does that do to your view of the world, your personal worth, and self-acceptance?

Being exposed to too much of this type of news can weigh heavy on your psyche. It can lead to unhealthy conditions that silently develop in your mind and body. Depression, hyper vigilance, anxiety, and high blood pressure are just a few of the things that can occur when you are surrounded by negativity.And just as negative news has a negative effect on you, positive news can generate the complete opposite: happiness, appreciation, positive affect, and a healthy lifestyle just to name a few.

2. You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind!

We can look at these terms, negative and positive, as two points on an energetic spectrum. If negativity sits at the low end of this spectrum, it can be said that it holds a low frequency. A good way to understand that is to think of a battery-operated radio. As you turn the dial to get to your favorite station, it moves through channels that don't come in so clearly. You might hear static, faint or muffled sounds, and it would be difficult to hear the music. The frequency may be so low due to the long distance from which your station is being transmitted. This may seem like old fashioned terminology when it comes to radios these days, but it gives a description of what negative energy is like: faint, distant, and muffled. When we are residing at a low frequency, or surrounded by negative energy, you can feel disconnected, disoriented, confused, ungrounded, and other ill sensations.

2.1 Exhale negativity

There can even be feelings of heaviness, especially with an emotion like depression. One can literally feel heavy; unable to move or think clearly. There is a sense of darkness, lack of energy, and no motivation. When you have felt down, sad, or depressed, you may have experienced these physical and mental effects. That's what negative energy can do to you. Even when the source is from the outside, like devastating news, it makes an imprint on you.

2.2 Inhale positivity

Positive energy, on the other hand, is clear, coherent, and resounding. It carries a lightness and ease that flows through your psyche. It has a fulfilling feeling, unlike the weightiness of depression, but an abundance that is energizing and positive. Have you ever had any experience like this? Consider engaging in an activity that you love so much. Maybe it's a yoga class that moved you in a way that left you feeling so good inside and out. You continue to return to the yoga class and each time you feel better and better. You experience this ever-growing sense of positivity inside you that it even becomes overwhelming. You feel so full of this good feeling that you find a need and desire to share it with others. You tell your friends and family about your positive experience with yoga. You share with them how good it has made you feel. Not only will your words convince them to try yoga, but your positive attitude around your personal experience will be the motivator that convinces them to attend a class with you.

You can create positive situations like this for yourself and you can also seek experiences like this out in your community. Even though there is so much bad news and negativity out there, it is important to find the good in things; to find those small nuggets of grace that is inherent in all things.

3. Why is gratitude for nature important?

Take a closer look at what surrounds you; the trees, the flowers, the sky. These are things of natural beauty. It is very easy to disregard it. If you took a moment, though, to really connect with nature, you begin to feel gratitude for it. Imbedded in these natural surroundings is love, appreciation, and happiness. These are emotions that run at a higher frequency. Unlike the radios waves, positive energy evokes clarity, groundedness, and peace. Having this type of energy around you can only create a positive charge that invigorates healing, cleansing, and loving. It's this kind of energy that motivates you to share it with others. It is inherently good, and everyone wants to have this type of feeling.3.1 How to connect with nature?Our existence as humans has proven for years, the roots of our connection with nature. This relationship with our Mother Earth has nourished our senses and souls with a coordination without which it is hard to survive and find a direction. Hence, it is important to align your practice with nature by connecting to your body and nature at once.

3.1.1 Outdoor Meditation

Meditating in nature is easier, for the tranquility and serenity that comes to our mind amidst sounds of nature awaken us effortlessly. Ever wondered why we are surrounded by so many music tracks of natural sounds like flowing water or forest trails for meditation? When we meditate in nature, we set ourselves in the pace of it and learn how hardships can be beautiful too. Maji Sports has a wide variety of

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Taking your yoga practice outside is about exploring our connection with nature and breathing in fresh air all at once! We tend to confine our yoga practice to the four walls of a yoga studio yet studies have repeatedly shown that being outside has many benefits to our health.

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4. Gratitude is a High Vibration

Happiness, love, appreciation, and gratitude resonate on a higher vibration. We are inherently attracted to a lighter energy source that resides in each individual. It may be hidden sometimes, but everyone has that light part of them. It takes some nurturing to help reveal and uncover that dark veil. When you live life in a more positive way, people are more likely to be attracted to you as well.

When you're able to see the good in all things, and mostly in yourself, a sense of clarity develops. You witness your authenticity shine. A true sense of purpose generates; you begin to see and live your dharma - your purpose in life.Obstacles, challenges, and barriers that seem to hold you back from your dreams begin to dissipate and crumble. With a more positive perspective on things, your path is made clear. You'll feel more optimistic; you'll discover answers to the perceived problems.

5. See The Positive in All Things and All People - Including Yourself

See beauty in nature. Just stepping outside and appreciating what is around you can start that journey toward having a positive outlook on life and yourself.

Look in the mirror and claim your beauty. Express it to yourself. Use positive affirmations to brighten your day and your perception of yourself. For example, rather than targeting the flaws when you gaze at yourself in the mirror, find the positive aspects: your eyes, your smile, your hair. Find the things about yourself that bring you joy: your kindness, your laughter, your generosity. As you continue this routine, it eventually becomes a daily habit. Each day it becomes easier to see your inner and outer beauty. Inevitably, this changes your attitude.When you change the way your think, you'll have a much better outlook on yourself and the world around you. Start to notice how you think. If they tend to be negative, quickly change them. Say to yourself, "Wait, that is not true." Then think something positive about yourself. Have gratitude for your health, your inner strength, your intelligence, etc. Highlight those truths about yourself. If you treat yourself with goodness, kindness, love, and appreciate, it becomes an outward expression. You'll start to see and treat other people and all other things with that same level of kindness and appreciation.So, begin this process of seeing and appreciating the positive high vibration in the things and people you encounter. But most importantly, discover these things in yourself first. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Be thankful for your gifts and talents. Appreciate who and what you are. When you experience this bright truth within you, your whole outlook of the world shifts and your deserved space in it.

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isedoraklopper · 7 years ago

Text

Research that redefine SM

The challenge of finding the literature that is needed seem to present a whole other set of other things that often jump up at me while I do the research to validate what seems to be a need from the community I am part of. Though selective mutism (SM) has been a presence in my life for all or most of my life to some degree or another, I am met with little understanding as to the why.

So I got into looking in nuero biological studies, looking at how the brain is wired and is affected by the chemicals that make it affect a individual the way it does. What I find is that it is referred to as deficits in the social engagement that would compromise spontanous social behaviour, social awareness and affect the ability to be expressive, modulate the voice and make langauge development difficult (Porges, 2011).

It as usually worries me, becuase if you weren’t following the full medical jargon in the research, all the interpretation lends itself to is the meidcal diagnostic imperitive data, which is often actually done on lab animals (not the sort that means its animal cruelty though). Trying to map our human brain to a rats, or the make ups of pigs and so on. Theories that underpin how we are looked at differently stem from these experiments.

As someone who is often and has very frequently been referred to in the past as ‘deficit’, I find the language in this damaging. I find the result questionable, but frustrating realise, it opens the field, especially to SM, to another perpective. What if we allowed those who had lived through it to be the studies, longitudanal studies that reflect more than the medical diagnosis, thought includes it as it seems to be what the rest of the world focuses on.

Though, I am not a fan of the DSM and all the box ticking that a diagnosis includes, choosing to be eclectic humanistic practioner isntead, I have come to realise there are times when it is actually important, though there are times I wonder in some diagnosis were forced because they could not place a individual in one box. These inidviduals with sever psychiatric and behavioural disorders are considered to have difficulties in establishing and maintaining relationships. Several of these diagnostic frameworks include expected features of exspressing social behaviour and reading social cues. Obeserved in individuals with the primary psychaitric diagnosis of autism, social anxiety and prost traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Porges, 2011).

As a SM I am aware of the co – mobidiy that comes with this. Though much of what had already been researched had related this to anxiety or being socially challenged. Something that still makes me super socially awkward, but am always worried when anyone is thrown onto other diagnosis, where there is prove, evidence of brian development being different, like autism. It fascinates me how many of the SM community have a autism on their diagnosis, but wont identify with being autistic, but rather SM. Wide generalising statements even in nuero biology is not helping. The above statement seemed pure speculation, as this had not directly been experimented with humans.

No human CT scan, no stories, no feedback, just a statement. No wonder the rest of world thinks SM is so strange, no wonder the DSM does not place value on what the needs are of any of us ever affected by SM. Maybe with the challenging of the linear causality for the explanations of events or a system within a living individual, it can be argued that it is not possible for practitioners or community to have an appreciation of an objective reality (White & Epston, 1990).

The quesitons is how? How do we challenge the dominant beliefs, the dominant research or empirical numbers. Is maybe having individuals volunteer to tell stories, sit in one scan after another while the manner the brain is hardwired can be looked at. It is the lived experience that fall outside of the dominant social ideals and can be viewed as unique, which often is ignored in favour of common social needs which remains deeply interrelated into personal stories. Favouring the notion of dominant story and group people with a specific identity who are situated within the stories (White & Epston, 1990).

Living the life of a SM, and with co – mobididity of a vartiey of other things, I know my brain was wired the ay it is, I dont ever remember choosing this. Why would anyone choose to not speak when you so desperately want to? Being one of those that was given more than one test, and fitting several of each possible diagnosis, but not enough for a diagnosis, simply became the non compliant student and child that permantly being humiliated by far too many people around me. I know that these studies are important, especially if it sheds light on so many things. I also know, something is missing.

I know I have met students and people, who have all come to tell me that they were autistic, with SM, just to identify themselves later as SM only, feeling as if they had recoverd from autism (which is in all theory, empiracally impossible). Maybe, autism wasn’t what they were, but needed the diagnosis to get the support for what they needed. It astonishes me that no matter who it is, both personally and professionally, we seem to have forgotten what it is like to treat someone with dignity and integrity.

In the same conversations it became clear that if also was a handful of teachers, tutors, therapists and friends that made the difference in this becoming less of a barrier or stigma. The humanistic factors. Sharing a moment of hanging out with a friend while listening to the radio, or going for drive with another friend in the car. The little thing that connected people with SM back to being the human beings that we are, though as for most of us, are moments few and far between.

It is the numbers in research that now matters more the the humanistic factors to which they are supposed to relate. What was and was not an example of the combination quantitative (numbers and data) and qualitative (narratives) research has been problematic, as researches have previously claimed one manner of data collation to be represented, rather than by more than one data collection approach. When in fact the data was based on the analysis of unstructured data like responses to open questions in a questionnaires closer to collecting narratives (Bryman, 2006).

Personally as a researcher, I have never been hugely fond of statistical research, however, realised if the research I am doing, especially to education or social science fields, will need some numbers. Or I lose the chance to engage many medically based practioners and educators. It draws my attention to being able to create knowledge, that would mean that people living with SM does not feel like they are being boxed into something else or even seen for just their SM, but the whole amazing automous being.

It also means that as much as I seem to think that doing a PHD is not something I am considering, I may have stumbled onto the focus, which can add extraordinary value to SM, the physiology and cognition of people living with SM.

References

1. Bryman, A. (2006). Integrating quantitative and qualitative research: how is it?. Sage Publications, Vol 6, pp. 97 – 113. University of Leicester: London.

2. Porges, S.W. (2011). The Polyvagal theory: Neurophysiology foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, self - regulation. Courier Westford, USA.

3. White, M. & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapuetic ends. Dulwich Centre, USA

#Selective mutism #SM #Redifining

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ruffoverthinksthings · 8 years ago

Note

Can you do the ship meme for Jane x anyone you want?

1.Whois the most affectionate?:

Jane.

Likeall the other times I’ve mentioned her, Mal has been constantlydrilled that showing any sort of affection or care for other peopleis the worst kind of weakness you can ever show, and the scarsand traumas of Maleficent’s shitty parenting take a LONG while toheal.

2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:

Malis big spoon, Jane is little spoon.

Asidefrom the fact that Mal starts naturally producing dragon fire and iswarm and cozy to snuggle up to at night, Mal feels much morecomfortable being the “protector” of the two, and Jane is morethan happy to have someone beside her to fend off the anxieties andnightmares.

3.Mostcommon argument?:

Whetheror not to do something in public.

Janeslowly loses her social anxieties as evidenced by her becoming partof the cheerleading squad and having her face out rather than hiddenin the Fighting Knight part of the school mascot, but she’s stillVERY reluctant to do many things where people can see her and judgeher, even if most people really couldn’t care.

Itdoesn’t really help that, willingly or not, Mal becomes one of themost public faces for VK reform in Auradon, along with her artneeding publicity and attention from the media to actually turn aprofit.

4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:

Youwould think it’s Jane braiding and styling Mal’s hair, you’d bewrong.

Withthis specific pair, it’s actually hanging in just their underwearin Jane’s room, and eventually, their own brownstone apartment thatthey have all to themselves. Jane has suffered a lot of socialanxieties and expectations foisted upon her, not the least of whichwas the conservative ideals of Auradon that says that even in theprivacy of your room, you should be decent should someone happen tocome by for a chat.

It’sa form of rebellion for her to be this free and shameless about hersexuality and her body, long sources of shame and distress for her asAuradon has very little room for experimentation, expression, orfreedom in general.

“Ican dance in just my underwear, and I don’t ever feel like there’sinvisible eyes watching me! It’s great!”

Malhas a different brand of issues, in that the public takes greatoffense to whenever she is “daring” or “VK” here in Auradon,and it has bred an even stronger distaste in her for theirconservative values. Also, you couldn’t really walk around in yourunderwear in the Isle, if you had the choice—“it’s cold, it’sgrimy, and there’s PLENTY of things you do NOT want to step inwithout a slipper, at the least.”

Onan incidental note, this is why the two of them get rather hot andbothered when in the presence of silly print panties, particularlystyles similar to the ones they already own.

AndYES, Mal still has the green baby dragon print panties. Jane’s iswhite with baby blue “bow tie butterflies.”

5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:

Mal,with Jane.

Thereare many days where Jane just doesn’t want to do anything anymore,and Mal makes it a point that her girlfriend gets home safely or tosomewhere she can rest and recharge where there isn’t noise,people, or inquisitive reporters bothering her.

6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:

Mal’seyes are an endless source of fascination for Jane. She really likesthe draconic quality they can take when she’s angry or excited, andthat she can read so much of her emotions and feelings from her eyes,not that that means much because Jane has fairy empathy and can tellexactly what she feels at any moment.

Onthe flipside, Mal finds herself REALLY into Jane’s body, becauseshe’s been so conservative and reserved about it, and now thatshe’s willingly and subtly changing it into something less “basic”and much more shapely, curvy, and full-figured (like a younger,sexier version of Fairy Godmother’s original form and her currentshape), she finds herself frequently accidentally setting things onfire when jets of flame shoot out of her nostrils when her internaltemperature gets too much.

Beforeyou ask, Jane has mastered basic fire suppression magic, and takes itas the clearest sign that the outfit or look is a “Yes, please.”

7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:

Maland Jane are both incredibly socially awkward and avoidant when itcomes to this thing called “feelings,” and probably spend a longwhile trying to intentionally avoid each other, and accidentally runinto each other because they both happen to figure out “What’sthe least likely place I’m going to run into Jane/Mal?”, gothere, and irony runs its course.

It’seven worse that they now they can’t use the “I just so happenedto be at our usual haunts at the same time as you” excuse becausethere’s really no reason Jane nor Mal would ever be at a make-upstore without Evie helping them navigate and fend off the, ah,‘highly enthusiastic’ store clerks and product reps.

8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:

Mal’sare “My Little Space Heater” after said internal dragon firedevelops thanks to magic exposure, “Blaze” because she keepsaccidentally setting things on fire whenever she’s turned on, and“Vi” as in “violet,” one of her many preferred shades ofpurple.

Jane’sare “Bo” as in bow tie because of Jane’s preference for them,“Mom” used jokingly whenever she’s scolding Mal or trying toget her to act more mature, and “Mistress” when they’re gettingkinky.

9.Whoworries the most?:

Jane.

Malis no calm, collected, and anxiety-free individual herself, but Janeis just the much more severe train wreck.

10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:

Jane,by virtue of infallible fairy memory.

11.Whotops?:

Jane.

12.Whoinitiates kisses?:

Jane.

Again,Mal is awkward about asking for physical intimacy and kisses, letalone initiating them, so Jane just preemptively showers her withlove.

13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:

Jane.

Shedecides to be more daring with Mal, because she’s got limited timeto make a move on her (284 years at the least, give or take), andbecause she tires of the game of avoidance and awkward coincidencesthat happen after they first realize they’re gay for each other.

14.Whokisses the hardest?:

Mal.

Initiatingkisses? Terrible at it. Getting going once they’re actually firedup? There is very literal smoke when they break away, and possiblysinge marks to the beginnings of raging fires on nearby surfaces andflammable objects.

15.Whowakes up first?:

Mal,caveat that Jane never really sleeps.

16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:

Jane.

Outsideof her room is where all her anxieties live.

17.Whosays I love you first?:

Jane,with the caveat that it was said far too fast for Mal to understand,before the incident for questions 29-30 happen.

18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):

Jane.

“

19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:

Mal,because Jane is evasive and unwilling to open up to Fairy Godmothergiven how terrible all the other times went. It was also REALLY easyfor Mal to talk to a sentient lizard in a terrarium incapable ofspeaking, and just tell her friends that she’s dating a differentAK.

Again,it’s no surprise for VKs to hear that someone’s with someone newall of a sudden, and Mal was already the precedent for dating acrossthe culture line.

20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:

Maleficentis disappointed as usual that her daughter has been fully purified bythe Auradonians, fallen in “true love” twice, and is evenmore a disappointment to her for the rest of all of eternity.

FairyGodmother is of two minds about this, because Jane is unquestionablyhappier and more confident, but she’s also becoming muchmore daring, scandalous, and adventurous in her daily life. It’skind of like FG’s the highly conservative single mother raising agood, rule-abiding, and decent child, who is now dating a girl whowears tattoos and leather jackets with pride, frequently breaks thelaw either intentionally or as a consequence of the trouble that isattracted to her like a super-powered magnet, and smokes—both inthe “dragon fire” sense, and the “weird and wonderful world ofrecreational drugs” sense.

AsI said, the VKs are non-plussed about it: Mal has already definedherself as the kind that consorts with the AKs after her famousrelationship with Ben, and again, they haven’t really cared muchabout other people’s relationships unless it enables or preventsthem from getting what they want or need day-to-day.

TheAKs are rather surprised that Jane would be dating Mal, of allpeople, and it throws all of their preconceptions about Jane for aloop, especially once they catch word of all the new things she’sdoing with her newfound confidence and girlfriend.

“HaveI really changed? Am I being corrupted? Or was I always like this,it’s just that I always pushed this side of me away? Whatever thecase, this is who I am now, and this is who I will be for theforeseeable future, because I like this me, and if you don’t?

“Well,you can just go fuck yourself! … Oh my gosh—I’m so sorry Icursed! But yeah, my point still stands...”

21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:

Inprivate, Jane.

She’salways had a habit of dancing to songs on the radio or from theinternet when she’s alone in her room and there’s really nothingbetter to do.

Inpublic,

Mal.Aside from the one that she’s always taking the lead due topersonality and the difference in heights between them, she’s theone who’s not paralyzed by the thought of so many people seeing herdo something like dancing.

“Justfocus on me, okay?” Mal says, Jane does, and the just have fun onthe dance floor.

22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:

Jane.

She’shad vastly more experience, and for Mal, “cooking was never reallya thing unless you were trying to roast a rat to make it tastesomewhat better, or get rid of poisonous bits neutralized by fire.”

23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:

Jane,surprisingly enough.

“DoI smell smoke?” is frequently used whenever she’s sending naughtySnapchats or intentionally riling Mal up.

24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:

Jane,again.

She’ssteadily becoming more daring and confident now that she realizesthat Auradon’s conservative standards are a choice, not theonly “right” way to be in this world. She’s still frequentlynervous when she does it, and it’s very rare, but HOO DAMNdoes it catch Mal off-guard.

“It’slike a tiny adorable kitten just staring up at you with big, wideeyes, and going ‘Fuck you!’ it just can’t not throw youoff!”

25.Whoneeds more assurance?:

Jane,once again.

It’swhy Mal is always there to hold her while she’s seated in her lap,remind her that she’s stronger than she thinks she is, much morethan her appearance, and that she’s always going to be there forher.

26.Whatwould be their theme song?:

“BodyImage” by Tupperware Remix Party.

“Weare as beautiful as our flaws.”

27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:

Mal.

Shehas the nicer singing voice, Jane thinks, and it’s good practicefor her to start being more comfortable with the idea of openlyshowing affection and vulnerability to another person.

28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:

Malhangs out with her friends, goes to “underground” events byherself or with her VK/more adventureous AK friends, and of course,works solo on her art, her preferred past time now that she doesn’tprioritize “being Evil.”

Janeplays video games, reads, does her other hobbies like cooking andgardening, explores nature, and practices her magic discretely.

29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

Jane’sconfession to Mal was during one of their twice monthly hang-outs inher room, practicing magic on the down-low as the ban was still ineffect at the time. Since Mal gave up her spellbook after the eventsof “Rise of the Isle of the Lost,” the two have resorted to goingaround looking for scraps of spells and old magical tomes, Jane beingthe better of the two because she is used to scouring dusty, mustylibraries for something new to read, and knows exactly where shehasn’t looked before.

Janetells Mal that she stumbled upon a very interesting, high-levelspell, a rarity considering so many of them are very tightly sealed,and leaks like this (by conspiracy or accident) were a rarity. “It’sa time-stop spell: freezes the entire world except you, so you’refree to do whatever you like as long as it’s in effect.”

Janeclarifies that at their experience and power levels, neither of themcan do more than just two-four seconds of frozen time, and the effectis just on their surrounding area—say, the size of Jane’s rathersmall room—but Mal is excited nonetheless.

Malarrives that Saturday at Janes’ room. The curtains are drawn, thedoor is locked, and they make sure that the nearly deserted hallsleading to it aren’t about to have anyone even passing by anytimesoon. They crack open Jane’s copy and notes of the spell, and startreading it, deciphering the missing pieces, and how to actually castthe damn thing.

Fictionmakes magic look so easy, but the spells are actually like “one-pressapps”: a collection of numerous interlocking, smaller spells andparameters and effects that have been collected, compiled, and givenan easy “key” so the magician doesn’t need to cast every singleone of those enchantments individually.

BecauseJane was the one to find such a treasure, she gets the honour oftrying to cast it first, and she does.

Toher surprise, it works—the world is completely frozen around her,everything from her furniture, the walls and the floors, and Malherself in an odd, baby blue hue like Jane’s magic. She’sobviously giddy that she managed such a powerful spell, instinctivelytelling Mal that it worked, before she realizes that she can’treact to or do anything in her current state.

Andthen an idea pops into Jane’s mind, a fleeting thought she’d beenpushing away several times, something she’d been reminding herselfthat she could not do because of the consequences, because it was notthe Right thing to do, but kept worming its way back to Jane’s mindover and over again, persistently clawing and fighting till it’s atthe very front and unavoidable.

Shehesitates for a moment, before she darts forward and kisses Mal onthe lips.

Becauseof her unique brain structure and how fast it can process everything,all of the debating, the pushing back, and the committing to adecision takes less than a second. Moving faster than she normallydoes, pressing her lips against Mal’s takes another. Registeringand enjoying the sensation of kissing Mal—lips scarred and chappedand not quite healed, with a hardness and roughness you just didn’tfind here in sunny and upper class Auradon Prep—and of finallyfinding an answer to the question of she would enjoy it (she does)takes two.

Andwith that, the haze is sucked back into Jane in a snap, and Mal isabout to open her mouth and ask if it worked before she realizesthere’s a pair of soft andquivering lipson hers that definitelyisn’t from anyone she’s ever kissed before.

Janeslowly opens her eyes, and when they notice Mal’s looking straightback at her, they shoot wide open. She pulls back so quickly shefalls onto her back, crawls away on her hands and feet.

Malblinks. “Jane…?” she asks.

Janecan’t stop time again, not with all these alarming thoughts andpredictions for the future and realizations about the full gravity ofher mistake bearing down on her. But, with the inhuman speeds she’scapable of, she can disappear into her closet before Mal is evenaware that she’s moved.

Malblinks again. “Jane!” she cries as she scrambles up.

Janeis inside her closet, moving aside boxes, old props, and schoolprojects, before she opens up one of the secret tunnels leading outof her room, a remnant of Auradon Prep from when it was a Duke’s“summer castle” that had escaped the filling and collapsingefforts. She hears Mal banging on the door outside, she pulls openthe hatch, crawls in, and shuts it behind her just as quickly.

Malputs her foot to the door, trying to kick it down, but the solidlybuilt, ancient hardwood isn’t the rotten and pest-infested planksshe’s used to. She curses under her breath as she scours her memoryfor an unlocking spell, before she just decides to go with theeasier, more direct approach:

Boom.

Thelock flies out, and crashes to the floor with a noisy clang. Theforce of the blast knocks over much of Jane’s stuff, making itcollapse over the secret tunnel and hiding her escape. Mal runs intoher walk-in closet, looks around, and starts digging through all herbelongings, trying to find where someone like her can squeeze in.

“Jane?”Mal asks as she searches. “Jane! Jane, where are you…?”

Insidethe tunnel, Jane cowers and hides, holding her breath for as long asit takes for Mal to give up and leave, ignoring the creepy crawlies,the dust, the fungus, and what else has found its way into this longabandoned tunnel in who knows how long.

Unfortunately,there’s no ignoring the voice in her head, quietly whispering thesame words over and over again, a familiar tune from her “childhood”:

“Youfucked up, you fucked up, you fucked up...”

Malshows up the day after, knocking on her door, asking if she’s homeevery once in a while, sending her texts and attempting to call her,but Jane just holds her breath again, pretends she’s not in, turnedoff her phone so her ringtone or the vibration of it on anythingwouldn’t give her away.

Becauseof her history with numerous social anxieties, she’s allowed totake attend her classes remotely, submitting homework, make-uprecitations, and attendance activities, even if her teachersencourage her to please come back to class, and her other friendssometimes drop by with her homework and group projects, rather thansending her digital copies.

Allthey really can do is just slid it under the door, or leave itoutside, wait for Jane to have it sent to them by all manner of meansthat don’t require her to show up in person—one of Carlos’flying drone projects, discretely teleporting them into her room, orenlisting the help of woodland creatures to whisk them away for her.

Theonly time she really does leave her room is when it’s time for hermonthly dinner with Fairy Godmother, falling on a Wednesday as usual.

Asyou might expect, FG is a very busy woman, being personallyresponsible for the supervision, growth, and development of most ofthe children of most of the monarchs in Auradon, who will becomefuture Kings and Queens themselves. It hasn’t left much time forher to attend to Jane, to say the least, but she made it a point toalways have certain times of the year and out of every month tocompletely, fully devote to Jane, where nothing short of arealm-threatening disaster can take her attention away.

Asmuch as Jane appreciates the thought and the spirit of it, however,like everything with her mother, it’s a mixed bag.

“So,I heard you haven’t been showing up to your classes again...”Fairy Godmother starts after that night’s dinner has beenserved—Chinese style steamed vegetable wraps.

“...”Jane idly picks up her chopsticks, her face cast down at her plate.

“Doyou want to talk about it?” Fairy Godmother asks.

“...”Jane pauses for a moment, her chopsticks held up in the air, beforeshe shakes her head, still not looking at FG.

FairyGodmother sighs. “Jane… I’ll admit I haven’t been the bestmother to you, especially now that all your friends are teens andyou’re all going through an incredibly rough period in yourlives—and that’s without the VKs.

“Butplease, could you confide in me whatever it is that you’re goingthrough right now? I can’t magic it away like I used to, but thatdoesn’t mean I’m completely helpless to help you!”

“Yesyou are,” Jane thinks to herself, while she says “I canhandle it on my own, mom.”

FairyGodmother sighs. “There’s no shame in asking for help, you know.”

“Iknow...” Jane says as she carefully tears apart a chunk of herwrap, watching the steam pour out of the seam and the vegetablesspill out.

FairyGodmother closes her eyes, and opens them again. “I’ve said itbefore, I’ll say it again: it’s best you tackle problems as soonas you can, because they tend to get worse the longer you wait.”

Janemakes a non-committal sound as she forks it into her mouth—hermother’s cooking is delicious as always, a perk of having eternityto master her domestic skills and twenty years to go all out inpracticing it, but it’s going to take more than good food to makeall these bad feelings go away.

30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:

Saturdayonce more.

Thelock in Jane’s closet has been put back into place, the damageundone with Carlos’ help and objective, infallible knowledge of theexact look of the paint and wood so not even Fairy Godmother would beany the wiser as to what happened to it, the dislodged contents alsorearranged for good measure.

Thecurtains are open, what sunlight she gets from this secluded part ofthe castle is streaming in, all is quiet and peaceful and no one isaround for miles, just how Jane likes it.

Orrather, how she’s supposed to like it.

Whenthe time rolls around that Mal was supposed to arrive and the two ofthem would practice magic together, Jane is all too aware thatthere’s going to be none of her or that, she feels restless,uneasy, a great gnawing inside of her that just can’t be ignored,and will not be ignored.

Janeis used to discomfort, to anxiety, to worry, but this is on a wholenew level. From years and years of having to feel others emotions,and having to name them and understand them to keep herself fromgoing insane, she knows what this feeling is, the scourge of thosewho were innocent children once, the eternal bane of anyone who hasever lived, the muse of so much of the pop songs and poetry thatAuradon Kids produce:

Heartbreak.

Itonly takes her mind a split second to comprehend all of this, but ittakes her hours still to take action, wallowing in her pain, suddenlysympathetic to every single person who has ever claimed or shown thatthey simply couldn’t move on. Night falls, and whereas mostpeople’s weekend plans had either come to a close or were about tobegin, Jane has wasted this particular Saturday with the people andthe society she’s known so far in her entire existence doingnothing.

Andat the stroke of eight o’clock in the evening, she finally hasenough and takes action.

Therewill be many more Saturdays for her, for as long as reality existed,but there would be only so many Saturdays she could spend with Mal.

Sheheads out of her room, and proceeds to break a personal rule of hersand a strong suggestion of her mother by going down the halls atinhuman speed, a sudden, mysterious breeze to all she passes by untilshe goes slow enough for mortal eyes just before she reaches Mal andEvie’s door.

There’sa part of her that says that she should just keep on going, make afull circle around the campus before ending back at her room, goingdown the opposite side of the hallway she always took, but there’smuch more of her that’s tired of the inaction.

Janeknocks.

Evieanswers. She hides her surprise well, but no poker face can match themight of Faerie Empathy. “Jane! Hi! What’s up…?”

“CanI talk to Mal?” Jane replies. “It’s really important.”

Thistime, the facade breaks, if only a little. “She’s out. Probablywon’t be back until past midnight.”

“Oh.”Jane said. “Do you happen to know where she went?”

“Idon’t know exactly, but I’ll bet anything she’s goingtagging,” Evie says.

Janesmiles politely. “Thanks, Evie.” She turns to leave, Evie beginsto close the door.

“Wait!Jane!”

Janeturns around. Evie opens the door again and holds out her phone.“Carlos made a tracker app for all our phones, so we could findeach other in case of trouble,” she says as she shows her just howto access it. “It’s only got half-a-mile or so of range, but it’sbetter than nothing.”

Janesmiles as she takes it, carefully cradles it in her hand. “Thankyou, Evie. I’ll give it back later!”

“Hurryif you can!” Evie said. “I’ll have to take selfies and vlogswith my webcam till then, and there’s only so many angles and shotsyou can make with that.”

“Iwill!” Jane says, before she leaves once more, Evie’s phonecradled safely in her hands.

Shebreaks a different rule as she heads off, a much more serious onethat could land her in jail, but the Guards were not as keen ondetecting rogue magic use as they were back then, and it’s a simplematter to hide the natural gossamer glow and reflective surface ofher wings as she flies, atop the condos and the parks, past thecorporate headquarters and the shopping complexes, beyond theMcCastles and the nigh identical houses of the suburbs, to theforgotten part of Auradon City, the first district and the first everto die:

MarigoldStreet.

Sheflies over old industrial parks with rusting construction equipment,hollowed out factories with boards over the doors and windows andfences around the perimeters, and long-abandoned “affordable”housing with concrete sidewalks cracked, trees long dead if theyweren’t reduced to stumps, and community gardens overgrown andwild.

Thankfully,there are no guards or dogs here, everything of value long salvagedor rotten past usefulness, and whatever technology Carlos had used intheir trackers worked better in the air, where at least one half ofthe signal couldn’t get blocked by the all the inches-thickconcrete and steel everywhere.

Shefound Mal in the middle of spraypainting the side of a warehouse. Theelectricity grid had long decayed and been cut-off by every powercompany in the city aside, but the glow of an LED camping light letMal work and Jane see the design, several paintings in sequence:

Ababy purple dragon, walking along by happily, until it sees a prettybaby blue bowtie butterfly, stares at it in wonder, jumps up into theair, flapping its tiny little wings and hovers beside it for a fewseconds, before it crashes to the ground, right on its tiny scalyface.

Malwas in the middle of blocking out the baby dragon back on the ground,when Jane cleared her throat.

Maljumped, holding up the spraycan like it was a gun, her whole bodytensed and ready for combat, her green eyes narrowed and giving Janethe harshest glare she was capable of. They quickly widened andturned terrified as she recognized who the intruder was.

“Jane?!”Mal sputtered. “How did you--?!”

Janeheld out her hands, Evie’s phone in one of them, the screen turnedout to her. Mal looked surprised, before she slowly, reluctantlyrelaxed her pose.

“… Whatdo you want?” she asked.

“I’msorry,” Jane said. “I’m sorry I took advantage of you andkissed you while you were under the effects of that time stop spell.I know you still probably hate me and don’t want to be friends withme anymore, but I--”

Malheld up her hand. Jane stopped.

“Jane?First up, I don’t hate you for kissing me while I was frozen intime; that’s WAY far from the worst thing anyone’s ever done tome while I was helpless, nor is it something that really rings alarmbells inside my head anymore.

“Andsecond, I don’t hate you, but I do hate the fact thatyou avoided me like that. I’m the VK here, I’m the onewho’s supposed to be running away from my problems, damn it!”

Janewinces, and hangs her head. “Sorry for that. Again. I promise, nomore running—I want to make things up to you. I want us to befriends again. Or just cool with each other, if that’s as far asyou’ll let me.”

Maltakes a deep breath, and lets it go slowly. “Do you remember thewords for the spell?”

“Ido,” Jane says—it was a trivial task when you couldn’t forgetanything.

Shesays the words to Mal without the deliberate concentration, thechanneling of her magic, or the movements that made bending the lawsof reality as we knew it all the easier, rendering the incantationharmless and inert.

“Thanks,”Mal says, before she raises her hands and quickly casts it.

Whenthe world unfreezes, Jane is suddenly aware of lips pulling away fromher, their owner’s eyes closed.

Malopens her eyes again, none the wiser. “There. Now that’s a coupleof seconds of your life where you don’t know what the helljust happened.”

Janetries to hide her reaction, but she was never one for being subtle.

Malfrowns and blushes. “… Did it not work on you…?”

“Itwore off just as you pulled away...” Jane confesses.

Maltakes in a quick breath through her nose. “Well then. Shit.”

“… Doyou want to try that again—kissing, I mean? Without the time stopspells or the secrecy.”

Malshrugs, uneasy. “I dunno… do you?”

“Yes,I do… so, do you?”

Malthinks for a few seconds. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”

Sothe two of them awkwardly step up to each other, not quite sure whatto do with their hands so they just keep them at their sides as theylean in closer, closing their eyes as soon as they’re sure theirlips are aligned, and for a brief two seconds, the two of them knowwhat it’s like to kiss the hard and scarred mouth of a VK and thesoft and quivering mouth of a nervous wreck of an AK when both sideswere kissing back.

AndJane had to admit, it was way better than that stolen kisswas.

Theybreak away as they hear one of Evie’s ringtones. It’s from anumber neither of them recognize, which is as good a sign as any thatthey need to return to Auradon ASAP. They stay a while to completethe grafitti on the wall, though, with the last of the sequence ofpaintings:

Thedragon, looking sadly at the bowtie butterfly still up in the air.

Itseyes widening in surprise as the butterfly flutters down to itslevel.

Thetwo of them walking off into the distance, side by side, happy ascould be.

Interestedin financially supporting my writing habit? Consider donating to myPatreon!

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team-adults-blog · 8 years ago

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4.04 A Lie Guarded

[More like ALIE Guarded mmmhhhhmmmm. I see what you did there.]

Now featuring 3 convenient plot headings this week because we jumped around so much!

Arkadia:

Jasper with the comic relief- Jaha go float yourself. Hah. Ok, but after 6 months I’m sure some of the people from the ark have learned how to swim. Maybe not well. Jaha certainly hasn’t learned; he was out in the desert poking at landmines. Also Jasper drugged him to get him out there? That’s a little scary, bud.

“Bellamy should be back by now” poor Clarke. Left behind by bell and her mom’s tech crew to ALIE’s Island. Reverse engineer it from Luna, but is Luna cool with that? Parallels to Mount Weather. Kane wanted to donate blood marrow, but it would never have been enough. Fortunately for Luna, only a small sample of her blood should be needed for reverse engineering.

Clarke saying her mom isn’t a geneticist either is pretty dumb because Abby actually went through all her medical training on the Ark. Clarke is smart but didn’t. You’re upset that you don’t really have anything important to do at the moment, but don’t act like a brat. Sometimes I feel I’m too hard on Clarke, she’s constantly making the best of crappy situations, but I feel she can handle my criticism.

Black Rain- ok but how do they know if the clouds should look different from regular rain? Honestly.

Harper won’t let Monty save Jasper- Jasper scares the shit out of them like a jerk. No a funny prank like Jaha.

Jasper talks Monty into pranking Clarke. Jasper finds Clarkes list. Clarke def should have at least put it in a drawer instead of almost plain sight. Yes, technically Monty and Jasper shouldn’t be in the chancellor’s office, but you’ve got to do better than that. For plot purposes I understand I had to be open enough to be found so that people can get upset, but it was careless. Also Clarke is so serious did you honestly think pranking her would go over well?

Monty and Miller senior not on the list! You don’t get to act on Kane’s authority and shocklash Jasper, Clarke. You freaked out and made a rash decision. You’re going too far and you can’t hide behind Kane’s name. Monty trusts Clarke when other people don’t, partially because he’s seen her have to struggle with the big decisions

OF frickin’ COURSE doctor mom Abby Griffin is first on the list with her children Eric Jackson (HE HAS A FIRST NAME!) and Raven.

Riley don’t drag Darcy. I’ve had enough of you and you’re in 5 more episodes. I bet you die. I have no emotional attachment to you yet.

Say what you want about Jaha, but he’s got charisma and his preachy butt saved Clarke. This is why Clarke doesn’t lead well alone; she makes the hard decisions, but she doesn’t inspire people to follow her. That’s what Bellamy does. And the adult leaders too.

“He used to be everything I hated, maybe he was keeping us together” what a compliment. Clarke’s shifted from Jake Griffin’s daughter who wanted to tell everyone of the air leak on the Ark to closer to Jaha’s wanting to keep it a secret. I don’t think she’ll ever go full Jaha because she has people calling her out all the time and Bellamy to balance her. I’m with Jasper that she should reevaluate the situation and herself if Jaha is looking like the ideal leader.

The Adventures of dad!Kane and his kiddos, the Blakes:

“I wish I were with you” “me too” “stay safe, Abby” “you stay safe too” UGH. I have a head canon they radio good night and reminders to eat and fluff like that. Love it. But I doubt either of them will actually stay safe. They’re risk takers.

Dad!Kane. “what did I do now”- Octavia. It’s lecture timeeee.

Omg when she tries to leave and he says “Sit down” whoaaa 1) she sits down. She does exactly what she’s told. Octavia is an assassin but she listens to dad!Kane and I find that hilarious. 2) He hasn’t used that angry tone in a while and wowieee I did not know I missed it. Boss more people around. ¿Escupir fuego, no? One of the consequences for killing people is that O has to go home. Aka grounded, but away from the grounders. Da dun tshhhhhh. Thank you, thank you.

Kane is in full-on dad! mode for the entire episode. I love it. Some kid named Stevens (don’t get too attached because p soon his head won’t be, amiright? Offensive and inaccurate. he only got his throat slit. sorry.) and Bellamy got captured. That’s where he is Clarke, you were right to worry. Dad!Kane rushes to his son to check on him. *Face cradle* He knows the other kid too, but Bell will always come first. Duh. Roan fears assention, Kane has to explain metabolism, lol. This whole show is a great social comment on trying to save the earth with nature stacked against you. Plus having to get other (nations) to work with you and try to solve this problem that affects them too. #goodstuff.

Alliance Broken. #notgood. Abby needed you to keep the peace so that her engineered nightblood could go to everyone. Bell and Kane hostages. Octavia and Indra to be hunted down. Not a good situation. That’s why honesty and forwardness is so important. parallel Jake Griffin, Raven Reyes

Echo gives Octavia three chances to come quietly. She clearly doesn’t want to do this Octavia

Bell x Kane in Jail

Such faith in Abby. This is the relationship I’m here for. I love Kane. Dad!Kane trying to reassure his son. His disbelief blink™ at Roan. Like TF you mean you’re going to take over my home? Where my wife and children live? Priceless. ANOTHER reiteration of there has to be another way. I’m all about these lines and themes popping up. Kabby’s faith in finding the best solution is what I’m here for. Also the live tweets between Paige and Ian killed me:

I can’t handle this. I can’t handle this AT ALL.

Remember when Echo wanted to be Bell’s friend? I think she’s finally realizing that after killing Octavia, this will never happen. She’s clearly emotional about having to tell him. And even if she disliked Octavia, Echo clearly respected her as a warrior.

Give Bob Morley an Emmy.

Kane in his “hands on forehead= distressed” pose. Someone comfort them. Kane is having such a hard time keeping both of the Blakes safe and happy at the same time. I feel for him.

Here comes Helios, the best character of all. I’d better not get too attached because I doubt he made Clarke’s list. There are rocks down there. It looks to be over 200 ft. she would have broken something. It looked like she landed on her back. The 100 writers, are you aware of physics and the force of gravity accelerating Octavia’s body at 9.8m/s2 over this 200 ft cliff? Bellyflops hurt at 4 ft above the water because of surface tension. Imagine that pain multiplied by the heightened acceleration. I can’t believe O is unharmed enough to pull herself up onto Helios while possibly bleeding out from the side wound.

It’s so terrible (and good tv) that everyone thinks Octavia is dead. We get to see Bellamy mourn during a time when he has to stay focused on saving his people from Ice Nation and the radiation. No doubt Kane feels somewhat responsible for sending her away, but if she was in Polis she would have bee A) a prisoner with them- good.. or B) killed because she’s too much of a risk/ threat. Dramatic Irony is such a basic and useful plot device. We just want to tell them SHE’S ALIVE before they go too far down a potentially bad path. I think it would be really cool if she made it to Niylah or Trikru first and recovered there before going on to Arkadia. Then she can stroll in for the war all “Surprise, bitch. Did you miss me?” If this goes down, we get emotional character development of Bellamy, Indra, Kane and more! And then hopefully a fam reunion scene where they’re all so happy to have her back. The grounders are for sure giving her a new nickname. Say goodbye to Skairippah and hello to the grounder equivalent of Skai-back-from-the-dead.

DOCTOR TECH SQUAD:

Jackson, my sweet angel, checking on Raven. He’s not being a jerk like Nate is 2 minutes later about it. Everyone loves you and is concerned and it sucks because that sets you apart. I get it. People need to learn more subtle ways to check on you.

Luna says she has no choice to Nyko… UH OHH Mt. Weather call-backs.

Don’t pass the line. All I was thinking about was Lost during this scene. Here come the drones. I know they can be useful for stuff, but weaponized drones are scary af. Plus it’s creepy that they have cameras and can spy on you with no serious consequences. They give me anxiety in real life.

Nate. You’re now on my bad list for a while because it took you TEN SHOTS to shoot down the drone while NYKO. MY HERO. Is killed. Cryin. Emori wants Murphy to ditch Abby? Oh heck no, she adopted him.

Raven shot at Luna. Wow. She did that. She continued to point the gun at her the whole time they were talking, risky.

“Jackson’s hit”-Nate

“What do you mean Jackson’s hit?!?”- Concerned doctor mom

ABBY YOU SHOULD NOT DRAW THE DRONE’S FIRE. I GET IT, SAVE JACKSON. THIS IS EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT “STAY SAFE MEANS.” Kabby will always put others before themselves. I love this, but it’s also worrisome and dangerous. Also Jackson’s like Abby. No. Don’t. my frail heart.

“Luna, I’m sorry about Nyko.” Me too Abby. He was your friend! There was mutual respect as healers. Nyko knows all the plants and herbal medicines while Abby has all the sophisticated technology and a different set of knowledge. I’m pissed that dynamic of different knowledge getting used together only got to be explored a little before they killed my man. L

What a cool looking lab. Abby and Raven super excited, lil’ happy grins. So nice to see. I’m looking forward to the call backs of them working together as they did on the escape pod in S1. Let the sass and problem solving begin!

With that said, I have some serious science questions about the process of reverse engineering nightblood to put in people’s bodies. Could non-nightbloods reject the nightblood? If it is its own sugar coating on blood cells genotype, which it must be because it’s some sort of recessive trait, they’d have to make different forms for each of the grounder and Ark blood types (I list them separate because they’ve had different levels of radiation). I don’t know a lot about the processes at play here, but my limited science brain wants to know the nitty-gritty of how this gets explained.

Up Next:

Roan is due for his radiation attack soon. Abby better get on that nightblood serum fast. I feel like his past medical involvement with Abby means that he’ll be more inclined to trust her and be one of the first to become a nightblood, despite protests from Echo. This is a risk for him- if it fails he’s dead and loses power. If it works he’s seen a Mr. Fearless and a good leader.

I find myself hating Jaha’s character less and less. I know, I know, but hear me out, OK? Part of that is definitely because he’s interacting in interesting ways with Clarke and the others. He’s plot relevant. Part of it is the way Clarke/Bellamy/Raven/all the delinquents are being set up to fall into different schools of thought on openness in leadership roles in the way that Jake Griffin/Abby/Jaha did before Jake was floated. No one is ever going to be full Jaha, because he distanced himself while in power so that he’d be able to put aside his personal feelings for someone so he could float them if needed. Everyone else in the show has at least one other person they can connect to and lean on. Parallels are so fun. Quali-tea writing.

The next ep is called Tinder Box, which I am 100% sure is not about “how people meet. It’s like real life, but better.” Lol sounds like CoL. Probs some box of fire starters. Almost all the faves look like they’re in it. My prediction is that Bellamy and Kane make it back to Arkadia with Azgeda. Clarke then has to step in and try and save her fam. I have a feeling the doctor-tech squad will stay at Becca/ ALIE’s island working as a separate plot, even if they find out what’s been happening with everyone else. It should push them to work faster + feels too soon for a Kabby reunion. Poor Clarke has to do all the heavy lifting again. Maybe someday she can just go draw in the woods.

WHICH REMINDS ME! I would love if the Eden Tree popped back up. Like if Kane has been going off and taking care of it this whole time (not likely because he’s been imprisoned like 4 times) and we see that. OR- equally excited but in a visual emotional way- when the radiation hit and we see fire or this black rain destroying everything and the camera pans to the Eden Tree being destroyed. SYMBOLISM. Or Kane digs it up and brings it back inside? Poor tree, but gotta keep momma’s spirit alive. I would love some reference to Vera with or without the tree. LET’S GOOO.

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Mid writing this, my roommate texted me that she was mad at Abby after watching 4.03- she thought Abby killed Adrian, which she ABSOLUTELY DID NOT. She has to go to the gym and do a burpee for every mean thing she’s said about Abby- which is like 100. Girl gonna be fit™. She’s totally going to slam Abby to tease me and get under my skin, so that’s something to look forward to.

#4.04 #a lie guarded #the 100 #reaction post

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alltimebestbooks · 5 years ago

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Best 5 Self Help Books

1. Overcome Social anxiety and Shyness

A Books on Prescription Title

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness is a self-help manual for this common problem, which explains why it happens and sets out practical methods of resolving it.

Don't let shyness ruin your life

Everyone feels foolish, embarrassed, judged or criticised at times, but this becomes a problem when it undermines your confidence and prevents you from doing what you want to do. At its most extreme, shyness can be crippling but it is easily treated using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Using real-life examples, Professor Gillian Butler sets out a practical, easy-to-use self-help course which will be invaluable for those suffering from all degrees of social anxiety.

Indispensable for those affected by shyness and social anxiety

Excellent resource for therapists, psychologists and doctors

Contains a complete self-help program and work sheets

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However the reader may look at the theory, the book had a great impact. The book was on the New York Times Bestseller list for over a year and a half.

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NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY REAL SIMPLE

Kate Bowler is a professor at Duke Divinity School with a modest Christian upbringing, but she specializes in the study of the prosperity gospel, a creed that sees fortune as a blessing from God and misfortune as a mark of God’s disapproval. At thirty-five, everything in her life seems to point toward “blessing.” She is thriving in her job, married to her high school sweetheart, and loves life with her newborn son.

Then she is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer.

The prospect of her own mortality forces Kate to realize that she has been tacitly subscribing to the prosperity gospel, living with the conviction that she can control the shape of her life with “a surge of determination.” Even as this type of Christianity celebrates the American can-do spirit, it implies that if you “can’t do” and succumb to illness or misfortune, you are a failure. Kate is very sick, and no amount of positive thinking will shrink her tumors. What does it mean to die, she wonders, in a society that insists everything happens for a reason? Kate is stripped of this certainty only to discover that without it, life is hard but beautiful in a way it never has been before.

Frank and funny, dark and wise, Kate Bowler pulls the reader deeply into her life in an account she populates affectionately with a colorful, often hilarious retinue of friends, mega-church preachers, relatives, and doctors. Everything Happens for a Reason tells her story, offering up her irreverent, hard-won observations on dying and the ways it has taught her to live.

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4. Game Changers

The bestselling author of Head Strong and The Bulletproof Diet answers the question, “How can I kick more ass at life?” by culling the wisdom of world-class thought leaders, maverick scientists, and disruptive entrepreneurs to provide proven techniques for becoming happier, healthier, and smarter.

When Dave Asprey started his Bulletproof Radio podcast more than five years ago, he sought out influencers in an array of disciplines, from biochemists toiling in unknown laboratories to business leaders changing the world to mediation masters discovering inner peace. His guests were some of the top performing humans in the world, people who had changed their areas of study or even pioneered entirely new fields. Dave wanted to know: What did they have in common? What mattered most to them? What made them so successful—and what made them tick? At the end of each interview, Dave asked the same question: “What are your top three recommendations for people who want to perform better at being human?”

After performing a statistical analysis of the answers, he found that the wisdom gleaned from these highly successful people could be distilled into three main objectives: finding ways to become smarter, faster, and happier. Game Changers is the culmination of Dave’s years-long immersion in these conversations, offering 46 science-backed, high performance “laws” that are a virtual playbook for how to get better at life.

With anecdotes from game changers like Dr. Daniel Amen, Gabby Bernstein, Dr. David Perlmutter, Arianna Huffington, Esther Perel, and Tim Ferris as well as examples from Dave’s own life, Game Changers offers readers practical advice they can put into action to reap immediate rewards. From taming fear and anxiety to making better decisions, establishing high-performance habits, and practicing gratitude and mindfulness, Dave brings together the wisdom of today’s game-changers to help everyone kick more ass at life.

5. Unstoppable: A 90-Day Plan to Biohack Your Mind and Body for Success

Unlock Your Potential. Become Unstoppable.

Unable to overcome debilitating fatigue and depression, bestselling author and personal devel-opment expert Ben Angel set out on a 90-day mission to ﬁnd and conquer the root of his rut.

The result of his journey is Unstoppable, a highly revealing book where Ben gives you a look into the world of nootropics, wearable devices, and nutrition and delivers a guide to help you reduce stress, increase focus, improve physical performance, and eliminate your fears. You’ll hear from world-leading biohackers, neuroscientists, doctors, and New York Times bestselling author Dave Asprey as Ben helps you:

Identify the seven triggers causing your brain fog

Discover the key to better health, more energy, and a better mood

Optimize your mental performance and feel more alert with six nootropics

Form new behaviors and break old patterns (the real secret to your success)

Interrupt your stress response through breathing

Align your biochemistry with your soul’s purpose in three easy steps

Use progressive overload to become an upgraded version of yourself

Plus, gain access to the Unstoppable Assessment to discover your identity type, pinpoint your energy levels, and create a plan to break through your own limits and become unstoppable.

When we look at the most successful people, we usually look at their habits—their behaviors, their day-to-day rituals, their dedication. But what about the mind? Ben Angel hits this idea head-on in Unstoppable, tackling peak performance with biohacking strategies that will blow your mind. —Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI and New York Times bestselling author

#selfhelp #selfhelpbooks

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avaliveradio · 5 years ago

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11.4 New Music Monday Release Radar with Jacqueline Jax

Listen now: https://anchor.fm/ava-live-radio/episodes/11-4-New-Music-Monday-Release-Radar-with-Jacqueline-Jax-e8ot9j

Artist: Beautiful Things

New Release: When the Night Comes Down (Bliss Mix)

Genre: Pop/Electronica/Alternative Rock/Singer-Songwriter

Sounds like: Chvrchs/Evanescence/Kate Bush/Metric/School of Seven Bells/The Corrs

Located in: Los Angeles, CA

This song is about overcoming anxiety and fear when making decisions about your life. I’ve had some dark times in my past where I was filled with anxiety about my future and my abilities and that attitude didn’t serve me well, nor does it serve anyone well.

We are re-defining our sound with this EP. We're launching our music into the modern era while still heavily influenced by our love of 80s alternative rock and pop. We are working on a brand new single and an epic new video!

LINKS: Brand new YouTube video! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEZaYgoOAww

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/track/763jHhoTLvkmgcCgMTJcMt

Twitter - https://twitter.com/officialthings

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/beautifulthingsmusic

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beautifulthingsmusic

Artist: Janet Odani

New Release: Sea of Love

Genre: Gospel/Easy Listening/ Alternative

Located in: Coffs Harbour, Australia

Gospel/Easy Listening/ Alternative : I believe as I am being led and guided by my God, doors are opening for me to share my gift. I don't in anyway take lightly the ability to create music and I believe this music release is important because I am learning to trust in Him more each step of the way and I hope at the same time also encouraging others to excel in their own gift/talent. I am passionate about music and I believe my music encourages others

Right now we are working on music videos for songs on this album.

https://open.spotify.com/track/5ZnNs6tEbYjhrfY6gX4BCz?si=a3dk_-qUTy-rrG42O5BT9w

LINKS: Website: www.janetodani.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/janetodanimusic Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/user/janetodanimusic Instagram : http://instagram.com/janetodani Twitter : https://twitter.com/OdaniJanet Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/7Jk85PgZin4TnnBx9S8fev Apple: http://itunes.apple.com/album/id/1483760814 iTunes : http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1483760814?ls=1&app=itunes www.eyeem.com/u/Janetodani

Artist: Aantdoe

New Release: GetAway (feat. Kasper Genius)

Genre: Hip Hop

Sounds like: : J.Cole, Kendrick Lamar, Mos Def, T,I., Chance The Rapper, Common

Located in: Philadelphia, P.A.

The Song is a dedication to all the fellas out there that have an outstanding woman by their side and they're not ashamed or proud to give her the credit she deserves.

This song is one aspect of my vision and the direction that I am choosing to go in my journey as an artist... Hip-hop doesn't always have to be negative or degrading... Some artists have a positive message that they want to address and I am one of those artists... GetAway is just one step of many to come...

Right now we are. I am most excited about working with Ava, pushing my music a little further and out to more possible fans... I'm in the process of shooting my first video for my most streamed song to date "Right Back"...

LINKS: https://open.spotify.com/track/0bXwBIuYkKXqVUvvTKw5xy?si=Lkl7h5SyRyCV6vEtlMlB9g https://twitter.com/Aantdoemusic https://www.facebook.com/AantdoeMusic-2369559169743353

Artist: Cabela and Schmitt

New Release: Sunshine On My Soul

Genre: Acoustic

Sounds like: The Beatles, Eagles, Tom Petty

Located in: Nebraska and Colorado

A song that is dedicated to anybody who has had a profound and lasting affect on your life and they probably don't even know it. Sunshine on My soul is our first unplugged track released to date. Working on several projects and designing our plan for 2020.

Spotify LINK: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ezi1FZF1yLu8bXOYry1F8?si=dALbHTgdS-SaRdRgLIhMTg

Social Media: http://www.cabelaandschmitt.com https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKwn7yE8P2rrU9ZjnN0UACQ https://www.facebook.com/cabelaschmittmusic https://twitter.com/CabelaSchmitt https://www.instagram.com/cabelaandschmitt

Artist: Paul K

New Release: Regression One

Genre: Electronica

Sounds like: : Brian Eno Max Richter Nils Frahm

Located in: : UK

"Regression One" comes from my new album "Reconstructed Memories". The album is life in an hour from birth to death and was written as a tribute to my father who died last year. It explores life as a series of small memories that combine to become recollections and also deals with false memory, regression therapy, aging and memory loss and learning through life to accept who you are.

This album is a follow up to my last to albums "Omertà (previously featured on AVA) and last years "The Fermi Paradox", both critically acclaimed albums in their own right. This is the triptych of the set and is a more stripped back affair featuring just myself on piano and electronics and Rachel Dawson on cello. It the last stage of a multi-year instrumental writing process that next year will evolve into a more electronic approach with vocals on the next album currently in production.

I've made 20 videos to accompany each track on the new album "Reconstructed Memories" and I'm excited about the audio and visuals coming together which will be used in the 2020 live shows.

LINKS: Spotify Artist Link (Album is out on 29th Nov) - https://open.spotify.com/artist/7HF8QoNffXbGMWsnF1UkMP?si=gb8QwslySsinxhLGFgWUcw Twitter (not really used much) - @paulk_music Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/pauljkmusic Instagram - @_pauljk_ You Tube Channel - https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCu5ev4VH1FTRkNjg1Pq5YIg/featured Website - www.paulk-music.com www.reconstructedmemories.com

Band Name: Joey Stuckey

Song name: Santa That Plays Guitar

Music Genre: Holiday/Blues

I live in... : Macon, Georgia

Link to play:

This is an original Christmas song about what guitar players always want—to play guitar. And at Christmas, it would be even more exciting to play guitar with Santa.

If music isn’t so necessary to your life that you don’t hurt without it, then you’re in the wrong business.

Website & social media links: https://www.joeystuckey.com Twitter https://twitter.com/Jstuckeymusic IG https://www.instagram.com/jstuckeymusic FB https://www.facebook.com/JoeyStuckeyMusic Newsletter https://eepurl.com/dg6LqT Bandsintown http://www.bandsintown.com/joey-stuckey

Artist: John O'Brien New Release: The Christmas Song

Genre: Holiday Pop

Sounds like: Michael McDonald Todd Rundgren Boz Skaggs

Located in: Saint Augustine Beach, Florida, US

A remake of the most popular Christmas carol ever recorded. "The Christmas Song". Nat King Cole originally popularized the song.

This is the first Christmas song on an EP that has been released with 5 songs on it titled "3 Ghosts and a Sailor's Christmas". It includes "The Christmas Song" plus, John Lennon's song "Happy Xmas (The War Is Over)" popularly known as "So This Is Christmas", Jimmy Buffett's "A Sailor's Christmas", Dan Fogelberg's "Same Auld Lang Syne" and the Christmas classic "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". A YouTube lyric video playlist with all five songs has been released that is a perfect singalong piece for friends and families and even total strangers to sing together this holiday season. Put it on your TV and sing along with the holiday spirit!

What’s coming up next?

We will be doing a tour of the UK in May 2020. We are so looking forward to it. We will also release an EP of new original material in April 2020 for the tour and our fans.

LINKS: Sound Cloud Christmas Album Link: https://soundcloud.com/john-obrien/sets/3-ghosts-and-a-sailors/s-5KMZr YouTube Christmas Album Link: https://youtu.be/YUjPV7kt_SM Spotify available after November 1 release date http://johnobriensmusic.com Linktree: linktr.ee/johnobriensmusic Listen to my New Album: : https://johnobrien.hearnow.com EPK: http://johnobriensmusic.com/gallery Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6lRwXnKMf5nIw0THEttkXJ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwzP4-jgRZ1ofrEaKgQWX4w?view_as=subscriber Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/john-obrien Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnobriensmusic Twitter: @JohnMacsss111 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnobriensmusic/?ref=bookmarks

Artist: Jimmy Francis

New Release: Christmas In Hawaii

Genre: Alternative and holiday

Located in: Los Angeles, California USA

My music is mostly alternative rock but I also have a strong blues and classic rock influence. This song is meant to be a quirky parody of “White Christmas” with a little angst and some comedy. “Christmas In Hawaii” was inspired by an incident in high school where my mom brought up going to Hawaii for Christmas and got me all excited only to have the trip not take place which left me disappointed and depressed but then I started turning my pain into a song, I tend to do this a lot.

https://open.spotify.com/track/1EeOfxTKfel1FFMAewjYdH?si=EbGwzQ-wQy-a4ykAqcQDFg

Being around Christmas season, I kept hearing Christmas songs like “White Christmas” but I started changing the words and premise of the song from being about White snow to being about the white, sandy beaches of Hawaii. I just pictured singing this song on a beach with drums, an acoustic guitar and throw in a cool saxophone solo cos... why not?

LINKS: Twitter: www.twitter.com/hyperpiperjlf Instagram: www.instagram.com/hyperpiperjlf Spotify link: ‪ https://open.spotify.com/artist/52iNdli7Vl7enT7ku1gG7W?si=3oqOwoQORneEL5-KeMsl6w‬

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