#why does literally no one examine how fucked up that whole thing is

[gay-jesus-probably]

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts about the whole thing of the Gerudo being a race of entirely women, with the only exception being one man born every hundred years, and that man automatically being their king. Now this worldbuilding comes from Ocarina of Time, and there's obviously a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications there, because it was 1998. And it seems that Tears of the Kingdom is sticking with the lore of Gerudo men being extremely rare and becoming the King of their people, which once again has a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications because it's 2023 and Nintendo has somehow gotten even worse about this shit.

But let's set aside the whole... everything, and look at this from just the in-universe perspective. How does it work? I mean, it's pretty clear that there is no overlap between the kings; the old ones are normally long gone by the time a new one is born, but the Gerudo manage to take care of themselves during the hangtime. So they must have an established system of government and leadership that doesn't involve a king, and somehow that system is set up in a way that does a smooth transfer of power once a new king is born and old enough to take the throne. But why bother always declaring a random guy to be your King when you already have a perfectly functional system in place?

I mean again, the whole thing has a lot of sexist implications, but we're not looking at this from a real world context, we're examining it in-universe. And we could just go the lazy route and say that their king is in charge just because he's the only man, but I don't like that. I mean come on, the Gerudo are a race of entirely women, and most of their outside problems come from Hylian men being creepy about it. They are entirely a matriarchy; there is literally no reason for their culture to have an inherent respect for men, even if the man in question is one of them. And they're desert people; they live in an extremely harsh and dangerous landscape, if they don't have their shit together, they will die. By sheer necessity, their culture needs to put a lot of value in being practical, because if they're stupid about things, people die. They really can't afford to have a shitty leader take over, and just letting some guy take the wheel doesn't really fit with the way their culture must otherwise work.

So again, why the fuck do they bother having a King?

I think it's mainly just a ceremonial position. Yes, if the guy is a good leader he'll be in charge, but if he isn't good at being a King or isn't interested in the job... fuck it, they've already got a functional government system that's been leading their people the whole time, why fix what isn't broken? The title of Gerudo King isn't about leadership or power. I think it's more about belonging. Because the Gerudo are a culture where every single one of them can be defined in the same way... and there is exactly one exception once a century. Men are considered to be inherently outsiders at the best of times, and more often they're enemies. A man born into this culture is a natural outsider; he is completely unique, and that means he doesn't really fit into his community. And well... when someone is fundamentally different from the rest of their community, they tend to be ostracized.

So I think that's why the position of Gerudo King exists. It isn't about them needing or even wanting a man to lead them. The title of King doesn't need to involve any leadership at all. It's about giving the man born every century a place in their society. It's a way of saying yes, you are one of us, you are a Gerudo, you belong here, you are wanted and you are loved.

The Gerudo know that every hundred years, one of their children will be fundamentally different from all of his peers. And so their society is built to ensure that a child who is completely different from them will still be loved and accepted. He will always have a place in their society. He doesn't need to earn their love, he has it just for existing. These are his people.

The title of Gerudo King isn't an inherent position of authority. It's a promise of acceptance.

[freak-accident419]

Double Derek

Derek Danforth x GN!Reader

Summary: You spend time with your boyfriend, Derek, before he would leave for a week-long business trip away from home. As a joke, you propose that you should purchase a ‘Clone a Willy’ kit, in case you miss him during his absence. But Derek wasn’t truly against the idea.

Word Count: 4.3k

Content: 18+ smut, MDNI, gender-neutral reader, mentions of sex toys (they’re literally making one), raunchiness, slightly OOC Derek, too many damn time skips, more plot than porn, the silliness is more prominent in the beginning but not so much the smut, penetration (unspecified genitals for reader)

(A/n: thankyou thankyou so much to @g0ry0re0 for proofreading, you are literally a lifesaver ilysm. thank you for everyone’s support and anticipation for this fic, you all keep me going ❤️ enjoy!!)

-

“Uhh… ‘CBD-infused intimate oil,’” Derek reads off the box in a curious mutter, turning it around to examine the product and its written features. Then he looked at you with a knowing grin. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded in agreement, chuckling under your breath as you watched the imminent purchase remain inside of your boyfriend’s grasp.

You and Derek, since being in a relationship of nearly three years, had always found several ways to spice things up in your sex life. The two of you experimented with almost everything in the book, be it edging, near exhibitionism, toys, food play, etc. And of course, while romantic relationships overall meant way more than just the sex, your sex life with him was just too incredible to ignore. Jesus, you could go on and on for days about how amazing the sex was.

Therefore, it wasn’t unusual at all to find the two of you inside of an adult store. Sure, you mostly bought your things online, but since you two were already out and the shop was nearby, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to go in. Plus, the other times you went to the in-person stores were quite beneficial; you were able to see certain sizings of different products and got the necessary and helpful advice from the clerks there.

You and Derek had continued to browse through the raunchy products as you walked down each aisle together. And while the two of you were almost in your thirties, absolutely nothing could deter you two from giggling at some of the ridiculous things sold there. This time, however, you suddenly stopped in your tracks and opened your mouth in complete awe once your eyes had laid upon it.

“Holy fucking shit!” You blurted as you instantly grabbed the tube-shaped box from the shelf in front of you:

‘(GLOW IN THE DARK) CLONE-A-WILLY: THE IN-HOME PENIS MOLDING KIT

MAKE A VIBRATING SILICONE REPLICA OF ANY PENIS (EASY TO MAKE)’

“Is this actually—?” Derek nearly snatches it from you with a fascinated scoff, reading over the description on the packaging. “What the fuck? Do—do people actually do this?”

“Of course they do, I see them, like, everywhere!” You cackled, trying to steal back the box from his grasp. It wasn’t the first time you’ve ever seen it, but it does surprise you every damn time that you do.

“Okay, okay, so… So if I’m getting this right, you could basically make an entire fuckin’ dildo at home… by molding somebody else’s or your own dick?” He raises an eyebrow incredulously.

“Yeah, pretty much,” you wheeze, nodding at him until your smile grew wider in sudden realization. “Shit, baby, you’d take ‘go fuck yourself’s to a whole new level!”

“What the hell, Y/n?” He chuckled, trying not to burst out into any more insufferable laughter, “okay, first of all, who would—Why the fuck would I want to use a replica of my own fucking dick on myself? Like, if anything, it’s you who should be taking it.”

“Hey, you can’t just say that!” You hissed playfully, still smiling from the entire situation you found yourselves in. Suddenly, however, your eyes widened insightfully from an absurd epiphany you just had.

“Wait,” you began. “I mean… You do have a point, considering that your trip is coming up already… Holy shit, imagine that! While you’re going to be gone for a whole fuckin’ week, I could always use this weird clone shit on myself whenever I’m horny! Hell, it’s perfect since you’ve been going to so many business trips lately!” You joked exuberantly before letting out a delighted sigh. “Jesus, baby, this is so ridiculous…”

Chuckling to yourself, you placed the box back on the shelf, prompting a perplexed gaze from Derek—or rather, as he stared at it, a gaze of deep contemplation. You recognized this damn shit-faced look of his. After all, you’ve known him for years.

“Derek—” you began skeptically.

“Hold on, I’m thinking,” he interjects with a thoughtful finger to his chin before a sudden and mischievous smirk appears at his lips. “You know, that actually isn’t a bad idea.”

Completely dumbfounded and taken aback, you raised a suspecting eyebrow. “Wait. You’re not actually considering… I mean, I was just joking around earlier, I wasn’t actually being serious—”

“I know, but think about it, babe! I mean, hell, you even said it yourself! Every time you feel… needy while I’m out, especially on my long business trips, you could always, well… you know,” he grinned darkly, glancing toward the ridiculous sex toy, “and if you want, I could even call you while you—”

“Shush!” You hissed with a slight laugh. “Holy fuck, you’re actually turned on by this freaky shit, aren’t you?!” It was actually quite hypocritical of you to call him out like that, as you tried to push your own feelings of arousal to the side. “I mean, I’d be down, but… Are you actually being for real right now?”

He scoffs at your remarks, crossing his arms. “Yeah, I mean… I’d be lying if I said that the thought of you being that desperate for my cock wouldn’t turn me on.”

“Really? You’re kidding.” You gasp in utter disbelief. Frankly, you never would’ve expected Derek to be into this kind of stuff, even knowing firsthand that he could be pretty extreme. It was most likely the fact that it was a ‘penis molding kit’ that caught you off guard when your boyfriend genuinely considered it. “You’re actually—Because like, while I was joking, you know, I actually still wanted to get it, but I didn’t know if you were down, or—”

“Babe, this might be the weirdest yet sexiest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever thought of us doing. Of course I’m down.”

***

After bringing home the very ‘unique’ product the two of you purchased from the adult store, you and Derek had set up in the spacious kitchen of his (which was technically yours too, since you practically lived with him now). With all of your necessary supplies laid out on the counter as well as the kit’s included materials, you made it to the fifth step together. The counter’s surface was crowded with measuring cups, bowls, and the other required items as Derek’s lower half had been completely naked to prepare for the molding process. He was actually already jerking off vacantly, a cock ring against the base of his dick to keep him as hard as he could be for the mold.

“Oh my god, I can’t stop thinking about that,” you chuckle as you began to stir the mix of water with the kit’s included molding powder. “That was so fucking hilarious!”

“You’d think that—” Derek scoffs in amusement, practically interrupting himself. “When the cashier said I looked familiar, you’d think that she would’ve mentioned Danforth Enterprises or, hell, even my mom, right? But she thought—she fucking said—”

“Robby Apples!” You nearly cackle, continuing to mix the bowl’s contents after setting a timer for a minute, “She thought you were a fuckin’ porn star!”

“I—” he scoffs with a wide, amused grin on his lips, “Personally? I don’t see it. I don’t think we look alike, like, at all.”

“Right, right,” you chuckle softly, “but it’s the hair. It’s the hair, baby! The curls and stupid frosted tips, I bet that’s why she assumed that!”

“I mean, yeah, but Y/n… I’m way more famous than him. Like, I’m literally CEO of my company—hell, my mother is the President of the United fucking States! Like, how the hell do you mistake me for someone else?! Let alone a fucking porn star!” Derek huffs playfully, surprisingly not too offended by the mix-up. Usually his ego would be heavily bruised whenever someone didn’t recognize him immediately, but he was having way too much fun with you to even be serious about it. And you loved it.

“But, like…” you began with a slight smile, “to be fair, babe, she works at that sex shop. Her mind must be porn over politics.”

“Hey, just because she works at a sex shop doesn’t mean she’s a porn addict.” Derek then raises an eyebrow as he attempts to call you out, “Now that’s just assuming, isn’t it?”

You scowled, yet a small smirk still creeped upon your lips. “You’re talking to me about assuming? You’re—You say that as if you’re not the most judgmental asshole in the fucking world.”

“Ugh, fair point,” Derek shrugged in acceptance and self-awareness, not even bothering to argue because he knew you were right. Then, he paused thoughtfully. “That is a great slogan, though.”

“What, about assumptions?”

“No, ‘porn over politics.’”

“Oh, yes,” you nod with a hint of sarcasm, “The epitome of Derek Danforth.”

“Uh, no,” he scoffs quickly, “money and superiority is the epitome of Derek Danforth.”

You paused with a grimace on your face. “You did not just refer to yourself in the third person.”

“Wh—You do it all the time!” He exclaims.

“Uh, yeah,” you scoff, “ironically!”

Somehow, you didn’t notice until now that Derek was holding his phone in his hand, looking at the screen as he continued to stroke himself to sustain his erection. “Hey, what are you looking at, by the way?”

His eyes went up to you with an innocent, neutral expression. “Uhhh, your nudes.”

“You’re fucking kidding,” you chuckle.

“Uh, no,” he says, turning his phone around in an attempt to show you. “I’m literally going through them right now—”

“No, ew, don’t show me!” You laugh from embarrassment as you looked down at the mixing bowl you stirred, covering the peripheral view with your hand. As sexy as they were to Derek and to you during the time you were taking them, you really couldn’t take them seriously afterwards.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed, babe,” he teases knowingly, making you roll your eyes. “You look so hot in them.”

“Dude—Of course I’m fucking embarrassed!” You reasoned, “I thought it was hot until the post-nut fuckin’ clarity kicked in!”

Suddenly, the timer went off as the two of you laughed softly at your last comment. You were then prompted to instantly focus as you turned off the blaring alarm and grabbed the tube closer to yourself on the counter.

“You fully hard, baby?” You ask casually, beginning to pour the white mixture inside of the tube.

“Yup,” he nodded simply, watching you prepare for the molding process.

After you finished pouring in all of the thick molding substance, you grabbed the tube and walked closer to your boyfriend. “Okay, so we’re just molding your dick now, for like, two… two minutes, I think? And you’re just gonna have to stay hard like that and don’t move too much,” you giggle, “I have to act fast, though, because there’s a reason why the water had to be ninety degrees, alright?”

“Alright,” Derek chuckles, “go ahead, babe.”

After setting up a two minute timer on your phone, you slowly placed the tube full of the ‘molding gel’ over his dick, making some of the white, thick substance drip out onto the floor. The two of you already began to cackle, Derek groaning in slight disgust from the weird feeling that the texture of the paste gave him around his cock.

“This is really fuckin’ messy,” he raises an eyebrow as he watches the leftover mixture spill onto the smooth, quartz tiles of the kitchen floor. “And it feels really… really weird around my dick,” Derek laughs softly.

“Well, we were warned about the mess but… damn, I didn’t know it’d be this crazy,” you chuckle, holding the tube in place, allowing you to stand close to Derek’s naked body. “Also, I know what you’re thinking—You’re not allowed to make a joke about how the molding gel resembles your fucking jizz.” Derek frowns immediately as you giggle at his reaction.

Rolling your eyes, you lean in closer to your lover, placing some soft kisses on his bare shoulder and collarbone. You always believed that Derek’s body was so beautiful, and you couldn’t help but show him how much you loved it all the time. “I’m gonna miss you, you know that?” You mumble with your lips pressed against the warm skin of his shoulder.

“Me too, baby,” he sighs softly, “but I’ll be back before you know it, alright?”

“I’m gonna fuck myself so fucking hard with this weird ass thing when you’re gone.”

“Sorry,” you mumble afterwards, realizing what you had blurted caused Derek to become speechless.

Your filthy words had been delivered so bluntly and casually, gaining a low groan from Derek’s throat. “Fuck. You can’t just—Baby, please tell me you’ll get me off after we do this because, fuck, I’ve been so hard for so fucking long and you’re already making things worse with that kind of talk,” he complains, nearly pleading.

“Jeez, I said I was sorry...” Chuckling, you bury your face in his neck affectionately. “Don’t worry, babe, we have so much time after this. You can fuck me as hard as you want.”

“Fuck…” he moaned at the visual you gave him with your words.

Resting your lips contently in the crook of his neck, you let out a small snicker afterwards. “Dude, I can’t get that stupid fucking meme out of my head…”

“What meme?” Derek asked curiously, no longer focusing solely on his arousal he had for you.

“The fuckin’—Your mom, the Jessica Danforth one that they would—”

“Oh, my god,” he scoffs lightly with a smile, amused by recollection of a popular, new internet meme they made of the US President. “But that one is so fucking stupid.”

“Nuh-uh, it’s iconic because your mom is iconic,” you retort playfully, “and those ‘stupid’ memes ended up being genuine, effective marketing strategies towards her campaign.”

Honestly, it was kind of adorable to Derek that you thought that lousy, new generation memes of her was what mainly helped his mother’s campaign. It was less adorable, however, that it wasn’t really the case. If only you knew…

You leaned in, briefly connecting your soft lips with his, appreciating the intimacy of your closeness that this position bestowed upon the two of you. Your kiss had pushed his underlying guilt aside for now, melting in the short moment of sweetness.

“Hey, when can I get this thing off of me?” He asks suddenly once your lips had parted from each other.

You pursed your lips curiously. “Uhh, well, is it hard yet?”

“Baby, my dick has been hard the entire time for this, you know that.”

“No, I meant—” you giggled breathlessly, “I meant the molding gel, has it hardened yet?”

“Well, it feels like it, sort of,” he remarked with a shrug.

“Eh, we can just wait for the full two minutes,” you suggested, prompting that you both should wait until the timer ends.

Soon enough, the two of you had gone through the entire procedure. You removed the tube from Derek’s cock, placing it on the counter as you mixed the silicone packets together to pour that mixture into the mold. Then, you placed the included vibrator inside the tube through the hole of a cardboard cover that rested on the top of the rim to keep it from sinking completely down into the mold.

“We are… done,” you laugh softly, the two of you looking at the tube filled with liquid silicone, most certainly taking the form of Derek’s dick. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but we are going to have to wait, like, twenty-four hours until we can take it out of the mold.”

“Well, shit. I am actually both fucking terrified and excited to see how it’ll end up looking like,” he shrugs with a slight scoff.

“Your dick, but in a glow-in-the-dark green,” you reply with a simple nod. “So… What now?”

A thoughtful yet mischievous grin appears on Derek’s lips as his eyes trail hungrily over your body.

After eagerly stripping your pants and underwear down, Derek lifted you up on the edge of the kitchen table, lips never leaving yours as he kissed you deeply and passionately. He grabbed onto your thigh, lightly gasping at the rough grip as his other hand slipped under your shirt to feel the soft skin of your back. Derek actually used the hemp oil that you two purchased earlier (alongside the Clone-A-Willy), rubbing it over your sensitive groin, then pleasurably lubricating your entrance. “God, I need you so bad, baby,” he mumbles lustfully, pulling your hips closer to the edge of the counter to line himself up with you.

A soft, yet vocal moan escaped your lips as you feel his rock hard, throbbing cock stretching and pushing through your tight, needy hole. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good,” Derek grunts, eyes half-lidded as he looked at you with lust and admiration. And from this heavenly sensation, you had been reminded that he still had that cock ring on.

You giggled immaturely, “you know, I forgot you even had that o—” He moved both his hands to spread open your thighs, trailing back up to grip your hips as he began to slowly thrust inside of you, making you whine as you placed your hands on his shoulders. “D-Derek—” You choke out a moan as he gradually increases his pace, firmly pushing his hips against yours to get as deep inside of you as he could. His cock was so fucking hard, indisputably caused by the pressure of the ring, but also from how much your sole body turned him on.

The two of your moans echoed in the atmosphere of the kitchen, especially as you wrapped your legs tightly around his back, pushing him in even deeper. “Fuck,” you whined softly, feeling one of his hands trail under the back of your shirt again during each heavy thrust until he finally lifts it off of you, throwing the piece of fabric onto the floor.

Your insides had deliciously gripped Derek’s firm cock so tight, withdrawing a low, prolonged groan from his throat as he then picked up the pace. He pounded deeply into you, head hanging low as he focused on his hard thrusts.

“Shit!” You nearly cry, wrapping your arms around his neck as you started to feel more sensitive. “You’re so fucking hard, hell…”

“Am I usually not?” He teases with a smirk, not ceasing his movements anytime soon.

“Ugh, you know what I mean,” you panted breathlessly. “The fucking cock ring’s, like, making you even harder than you ever been. I can’t believe this only, like, the second time we’ve ever used it.”

“Are you implying that we should use it more?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Hell, yeah,” you replied with a satisfied moan.

“Fuck, baby,” Derek groans, hiding his face in your neck, briefly nipping at your flesh. “Fucking love how tight you feel around my fucking cock.”

You moaned at his sultry words, your arms leaving his neck and holding yourself up with your palms flat on the counter behind you, attempting to grind against his movements. “Fuuuck,” you mumble as your palms shifted behind you, nudging and almost knocking down the Clone-A-Willy tube that was still filled with un-solidified silicone. “Oh, shit!” Gasping in a short panic, you held it steady before it could fall and moved it away to the side.

“Jesus, babe, you almost spilled over my dick,” he scoffs with a chuckle, his thrusts slightly sloppy from this distraction.

“Oh, I’ll spill something over your dick, babe,” you joked swiftly with a playful smirk.

“Oh my god, you’re fucking terrible,” he groaned as a mere, amused smile formed at his lips.

“Shut up, I’m not the one who got mistaken for a porn star,” you retorted, flashing a teasing grin.

“God, never fucking bring that up again,” Derek huffs, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, I will, baby, I will so use it against you,” you claim humorously.

Suddenly, he lifts you up by your ass, away from the counter as he was still pressed deeply inside of you. Holding you up against him in the center of the kitchen floor, he thrusted up inside of you, creating a strong wave of pleasure throughout your entire being.

“Fuck!” You cried as his fingernails dig into the skin of your ass, pushing his cock in and out of your sensitive hole. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, babe, you might not be a porn star, but you sure as hell fuck like one, shit…” The harsh sounds of flesh slapping against flesh echoed lewdly in the kitchen as he continued holding you up, and even guiding and pushing your hips skillfully against his.

Finally, he brought the two of you over on a chair, sitting down against it as you were positioned on top, his dick completely inside of you. “Ride me, baby,” he mutters, cupping your face gently, yet pulling you in urgently for a deep, wet kiss, shoving his tongue through your lips.

Breaking the kiss, Derek’s hands explored and caressed the warm, smooth skin of your body, muttering lustful praises to you. This prompted you to begin moving, placing your hands on his shoulders as your hips would gently grind against his. “Mmm,” you hum softly in pleasure before your head is thrown back the moment you increase your pace.

You let your knees assist you in bouncing on his thick cock, feeling his arms being wrapped around your back tightly to bring you in closely and intimately. “Fuck, baby…” Derek huffs, attempting to move his hips up with yours.

This position was short-lived, however, because of Derek’s urgency to fuck you fast and properly, lifting you back up once again. He made out with you as he held you, kissing your lips roughly and hotly while we stumbled towards the living room to finally throw you down on the couch.

He immediately grabbed your legs, lifting them up to place your ankles over his shoulders, nipping softly at your legs in admiration before thrusting back in.

“Fuck!” He groans, moving his hips at a much rougher and faster rate, practically pounding into you with both lust and love.

“Shit, Derek!” You whimper, feeling his cock slide in and out of you so fluidly, stretching and caressing your sensitive walls. From all the buildup of the previous positions, you felt so close already. “Fuck, baby. I—I’m gonna cum—”

“Just—fuck—hold on a little longer, baby,” he mutters, ramming his dick inside of you without faltering, focusing on driving the both of you to the very edge.

“Baby…” You whined desperately, looking up at him as you felt yourself begin to clench around him. And that really did it for him.

“Fuuuck,” Derek moaned, his movements against you beginning to stagger, “Cum for me, baby, c’mon.”

A loud, whiny moan escaped your lips as your back arched up against him, tensing up as you finally released. Your tight, fleshy walls around Derek prompted him to come right after, spilling his warm, white semen deep inside of you, muttering a few curse words before collapsing on top of you.

The both of you panted heavily, struggling to catch your breaths as you felt each other’s sweaty, naked body against one another’s. You chuckle breathlessly, feeling so content from the overwhelming ecstasy that your orgasm bestowed upon yourself.

“So good,” Derek whispered, kissing your lips in a sloppy, lazy manner, “you did so good for me, sweetheart.”

***

“What in… the actual fuck.”

The next day, after it had been exactly 24 hours since you’ve poured in the silicone inside of the mold, you and Derek took it out, revealing his glow-in-the-dark, cloned dick.

The two of you looked down at the new dildo, then looked at each other before cackling loudly and heartily, your laughs echoing in the kitchen where you had done the reveal.

“Oh, my god, it looks—it looks exactly fucking like it, babe!” You exclaim in disbelief, nearly wheezing as you hold the light green, phallic object in your grasp.

“That is,” he began, trying to recover from his previous, hearty laughter, “fucking insane. It’s so uncanny, like… it looks so real.”

“Dude, look at all the detail!” You urged, small snickers escaping your throat, “like even the veins and the fucking—what—frenulum, like… What the hell?!”

“And it’s such a bright ass neon green, holy shit,” Derek chuckled, continuing to examine the silicone.

“Hey, it matches your entire vibe, at least. You know. Green. Money. Ehh?”

The two of you giggled childishly, enjoying the absolute absurdity of this entire situation. “God, only you, Y/n, could get me to do the stupidest fucking things that I would never be willing to do for, like, anybody else,” Derek remarked with a slight smile.

”Hey, you were up for it too,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes, “I was joking about it first, but you were the one who took it seriously!”

“Uh, you were the one who grabbed it first,” retorted Derek.

“And you were the one who took it seriously when I was joking,” you repeated, chuckling softly in amusement.

“I—” But before he could say anything, he realized that you were right. “God fucking dammit.”

***

Tomorrow, Derek would have left for the business trip, the two of you saying your goodbyes before he would disappear into his private jet. And the day after, as your lover stayed at a luxurious hotel, lounging comfortably on the bed, he received a few texts from you during the night:

Y/n: hey

Y/n: it actually does glow in the dark btw

Y/n: [sent an attachment]

Derek’s eyes widened instantly, jaw dropping at the sight of the diabolically lewd image you had just sent him. Including the familiar, bright green item in the frame, of course.

“Holy fu—”

[jamsofdeath0]

I think the biggest issue with shield hero is the author accidentally wrote motoyasu into being in the right. this wouldn't have been an issue if they decided to address it instead of tripling down on him "being an idiot" instead of a morally upright dude who believed a woman when she claimed to be raped.

Naofumi for all intensive purposes looks like the most reprehensible motherfucker on the planet from the outside. I wouldn't take his goddamn side. but the story NEEDS you to be with him. so they thoroughly make him sympathetic before he buys the child slave. now don't get me wrong I love this plot point. I think "protagonist buys a child slave" could have been a fucking awesome story. but the author didnt actually want to go into how fucked up that is. they just wanted to write isekai wish fulfillment about a guy at the bottom revenge plotting his way to the top. this is fine to. this can be a perfectly serviceable or even good plot. the problem is the second sheild hero stops being a dark fantasy (episode 5) it gets obscenely boring. like so fucking dull.

this is because they didn't know how to get you onto naofumis (the man who owns a child slave) side without making the antagonist needlessly over the toply cruel (myne) or the most annoying performtive idiot on the planet (motoyasu)

lets examine motoyasu. hes a womanizer. not very bright. believes myne when she claims to be raped. duels naofumi to free a slave.

none of these things are bad. his attempt at free raphtalia (the slave) is maybe a tad performative, naofumi calls this out himself when he brings up slavery being legal, but its not evil. it GOOD. even if its a little to do with his personal beef with naofumi that to could just be interesting writing.

hes FLAWED (being gullible) yes but thats just being a well written character. (he isnt)

so the shows written a well meaning but flawed antagonist. hes against the protagonist bc he rightfully believes him an irredeemable monster who raped women and own slaves.

what will be done with this charater? nothing interesting i assure you. the episode after the duel instead of having him question why the slave girl actually liked naofumi at all (the man they at this point belive to BE A RAPIST (he isnt but they dont know that)) he shows up at a village to become a figure head lord. mynes calling all the shots. and she says the first decree will be that anyone who enters the village will have to pay a toll of FIFTY SILVER. FIFTY! Naofumi then says a night a board AND food is only 2. Thats above cartoonishly evil. thats just stupid. youre not going to make any money that way no one's going to be able to afford the fee. your just killing a village to kill it.

What does motoyasu do when this VERY CLEAR EVIL is happening right in front of him by HIS SIDE? look stupid and double down bc he doesnt like naofumi. he shows hes willing to fuck over a TON of people just to get a go at one guy.

this is the second their whole dynamic becomes so boring. it becomes "naofumi right"; "motoyasu stupid". when motoyasu loses his assumed moral high ground. when hes no longer fighting for what he believes is right.

whereas before their clashes had been moral and even nuanced to a degree now its just a postering idiot and a guy who can inly be bothered bc hes LITERALLY GENUINELY being forced to.

[liobi]

I've been seeing a weirdly high level of Dungeon Meshi discourse that just. Completely misses the point lately and I'm honestly kinda frustrated about it. So.

First point of address. Laios isn't canonically autistic. He is written in a way that lends itself to the reading of him being neuro divergent, and I think if he was a real person he would be on the spectrum, but the world of Dunmeshi itself does not have the concept of autism (yet). If it did you can bet the human enthusiast Kabru would have immediately pegged Laios as such. As for Falin, she'd also likely be ND but closer to ADHD judging by the relatively small amount we get to actually see her existing as a character.

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY. Toshiro isn't being ableist with his expectations of Laios picking up on social queues and being angry that he doesn't get it! Laios is legitimately rude to him! In terms of micro-aggressions, he does it constantly and unintentionally. He straight up calls Toshiro strange looking and fucks up his name! But the thing is, Toshiro's biggest flaw is that he applies his cultural norms to his interactions with everyone, regardless of culture. Chilchuck and Mick have a small talk about how Toshiro, with zero indication of feelings beforehand or any romantic involvement, just asks Falin to marry him and expects it to go well, all because she looked at a bug and he thought she was the most unique and different woman he had ever met (small aside, almost all the women he had met at this point are either family, his dad's mistress that is more of a mom to him than his own mom, his retainers, and his uhhh indentured servants/Literal Slaves)(Itsuzumi is a whole ass other conversation that I'm not even remotely qualified to talk about). He's a man of high social status that's never had to think about that fact before, never had to examine the power and privilege he has at his disposal. As a result, his expectations of people to learn his cultural norms, something he's been used to in his homeland, go unmet and are a source of friction.

Here's a real life example. In the US Midwest, if a person slaps their knees and/or stands up, sometimes saying some combination of "Welp/it's getting late..." They're politely telling their guests "get the fuck out of my house." It's impolite to ask people to leave, even politely. This is absolutely arcane and insane, why would anyone do this? Society!

Toshiro has grown up in a place where he's had to be hyper-aware of these things, where he can't verbally state what he literally wants or means. And he's conformed! He's decided to do what's expected of him. Laios, on the other hand, instead chafed against the expectations put on him as the child of the village elder and against the way people treated Falin for being different. He gave up his privilege (assured house, home, fiancee, position and responsibility within their town) in order to pursue a freedom beyond the society he saw as wrong. Laios is fundamentally uninterested in people (as opposed to monsters and demi-humans which is why he's uniquely suited to dealing with the multicultural aftermath of The Whole Thing), but he values his loved ones and personal code of honor enough to do what he needs to protect those things, even if it means going against society.

Anyways this is a long winded way of saying Toshiro and Laios are complex characters and narrative foils of each other in the early narrative and shouldn't be turned into one dimensional parodies of themselves for the purpose of Hot Takes. Thanks.

[tabithatwo]

Lowkey imagine the breaking my silence meme bc it feels real for this sentiment but I don’t want to add it here okay? Are you ready? Are you prepared for me to maybe piss you off a little idk how this will be received so just keep an open mind (or don’t I can’t control the gates of your brain I guess but at least I’ve warned you!!)

I think the fact that the two main ways of categorizing jackie taylor are, when boiled down to their simplest terms,

(1) popular mean girl who is a selfish bitch who I hate

(2) loser girl failure who isn’t actually popular or talented who I love

is ummmm sort of telling.

Like. Stay with me. I’m not hating on anyone. Actually, if you’re in group one I am hating on you a little tbh and you can clock out early and start sending me that hate anon now lmao cause this post isn’t really about you. But group two! stay with me for a minute because I get you! I really do! But I want to challenge that thinking and sort of examine it.

Why do we need to twist jackie into something else to like her? Like, if you see jackie as kind and loving and generally just a teenage girl trying to do her best, right? Why then do parts of her have to be “explained away” to a degree? She’s the striker and captain of a nationals bound team. Why does she have to not be a successful athlete to align with the sweetness that you see in her? Yes, coach martinez tells her she isn’t the best on the team, but we see how they treat allie who isn’t actually up to par. There’s nothing to indicate that jackie isn’t very good. Why does she actually have to be friendless besides shauna? Yes, it’s clear those two are codependent and mostly attached at the hip, but in the pilot we aren’t given reason to think that jackie is some friendless unliked girl. She’s socializing with different people and they seem to like her plenty. When she lines the team up yeah, there’s eye rolling, but they listen to her and they seem to mostly take her compliments fondly. She’s homecoming queen, that’s decided on by people voting you in and, generally speaking, you have to be liked and known by a lot of people for that to happen (again if you’re someone who thinks she’s an evil manipulative bitch somehow, this isn’t directed at you lmao).

Why can’t a girl be pretty and decently popular and talented at her sport and be kind and lovable? Why do we see a girl like jackie and need her to be secretly bad at that shit and not widely liked to find her palatable?

Like (1) girl is either truly pretty and popular and talented, so she’s a bitch OR (2) girl is sweet, so she can’t actually be pretty and popular and talented.

That’s the formula we’re fed constantly and I’m really tired of it cause it’s rebranded misogyny that we internalize and accidentally project onto the world tbh and I’m guilty of that in ways, like I’ve been there!!!

But idk. Yeah, Jackie is awkward at times and not good at popping deer tendons and embarrassingly earnest and a lot of other things along those lines!! But you can be all those things and still be everything else she is y’know? That’s sort of my whole point.

Anyway, let girls be good at things without that making them a bitch is what I’m getting at, I guess. Because I see a lot of people defend jackie from the “she’s a mean bitch” hate by saying “no she’s not, she’s literally got one friend and she’s not even good at soccer.”

And it’s like WELL idk about that!! And even if that was true, why is THAT the automatic defense against someone calling her a bitch?? Why are those two things so heavily equated and not even viewed as a logical leap? Why is the defense not to bring up all the kind loving things we see her do, but to chip away at the traits that she possesses that we are trained to find obnoxious or hateable in women, but aren’t fucking innately bad?

Anyway just a thought! I don’t hate anyone for making a joke about girlfailure jackie okay! Some of those are so funny and legit but it’s an overall trend I’m discussing! And like the idea that to be a girlfailure in the ways that she is, she must also be not well liked and bad at the shit she loves! Just an observation! <3 <3 <3

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️⚖️

Hell yeah - 111 or 1k, whatever comes first:

---

“I mean, the tattoo isn’t the only thing that makes no sense.”

“What do you mean, Buck?” Eddie asks sternly. Like a parent who’s discovered their child sneaking in late at night. Ask Buck how he knows that tone. 

“Um, ever since yesterday morning… In the hospital… I’ve been seeing things about people.”

“Seeing things about people?” Eddie repeats. “What does that mean?”

Buck explains it to him. The strange glow to everyone he sees. The different colors. The way most of them felt neutral or even good, but then Tommy and his neighbor had made him feel uncomfortable. Eddie, sitting on the edge of Buck’s bed, watches the whole time with wide, concerned eyes.

“What do you think?” Buck asks when he’s done explaining. 

“I think you may need to see a psychiatrist,” Eddie says.

“Right. Fair.”

“I think I might need a psychiatrist for believing you,” Eddie adds.

“Also valid.”

“But then… I don’t think we could be having some sort of collective delusion about that tattoo, so… It’s gotta be real?”

“Some lorazepam may not hurt anyway,” Buck grumbles.

“There is that,” Eddie agrees. 

“What do I do, Eddie?” Buck asks. He feels helpless. “I can’t go back to the ER with these… Symptoms.” 

Eddie looks at the tattoo. “It doesn’t even look new.”

Buck examines it. It certainly does not have the fresh wound look or feel of a new tattoo. In fact, it already looks a few weeks old. He pokes it. It’s smooth and healed. 

“No one would believe you if you tried to explain it,” Eddie whispers. 

Buck knows that he’s right. Even with Eddie to back him up. He sounds insane. And the tattoo only proved anything to Eddie because he watched it happen.

“Which brings me back to what do I do, Eddie?” Buck asks again. 

Eddie sighs. Runs a frustrated hand through his hair. 

“Uh… This might not be the most healthy answer, but…”

“But?” Buck repeats. 

“Maybe we keep it between us for the time being,” Eddie says. “Just, uh… Until we know what’s going on.”

Buck nods. “I think that’s smart. I… I don’t want anyone to think I’m unstable.”

“Right,” Eddie nods. “Because I don’t think you actually are.” 

Buck shakes his head. “I promise, Eddie. I’m not crazy.”

Eddie takes a deep breath. “I know. I… I’ve seen you out of it before, and this isn’t that.”

Buck raises an eyebrow. Literally when? 

“We’ll figure this out,” Eddie says.

“We will?” Buck asks. 

“Well… I’m gonna try to help,” Eddie says. “In whatever way I can. Don’t know what good I’ll be.”

“Better than figuring it out by myself,” Buck mutters. 

Eddie swallows. “I guess, uh… Based on the aura thing, you’re not going to want to tell Tommy?”

“Fuck, no,” Buck confirms. “At least, uh, not until I know what it means.”

Eddie nods. “That makes sense.”

Buck has a feeling it doesn’t mean anything good. And that’s why he can’t tell Tommy yet.

“Uh…” Eddie continues. “Why do you think mine is blue?”

Buck sighs. “I don’t know, Eddie. If it helps, it’s a really nice blue.”

“Nice?” Eddie asks.

Buck looks at him. At the blue radiating out in the space around his head. Nice is too simple a word, really. The blue is like… Cool water in your mouth after a long, hot day. Falling into a crisp, refreshing lake. A sky without clouds.

“Yeah,” Buck replies. “Nice. Relaxing.”

Eddie huffs a little. “Well, that’s good.”

“It is,” Buck nods. “I don’t understand this at all, but I know that much.”

Eddie looks at him for a moment. “Okay, then.” 

[imakemywings]

I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING ABOUT THE 'ELROND CALLING ELWING A CUNT' thing. But here I am, a newbie just going through fics one after the other of Elwing being called so many names and being humiliated, while the kidnap fam is uplifted. WHAT IS GOING ON. I could smell misogynistic from a mile away holy moly. But I have read your fics (I FUCKING LOVE IT) and I want more. May I also ask for some ELWING FIC RECS.

Oh no, that was a very literal example. My heart goes out to you in this difficult time of unfortunate realizations, anon.

But I am delighted to share some quality Elwing fic! ╰(*°▽°*)╯ (And thank you, I'm glad you liked mine!)

And by their blazing signify that a great princess falls, but doth not die by TheLionInMyBed is an absolutely phenomenal look at Elwing's last moments in Sirion.

The One with All the Birds by clothono and yes I know this one comes up every time I'm asked for Elwing recs, but it really is so delightful, and all the other characters who appear in it are so well-characterized and engaging. The bizarre connection that Elwing and Nerdanel share, both waiting for their children to return, is so interesting!

Elwing's Strategy by lifeisyetfair is another examination of why Elwing chose as she did in Sirion. Both Elwing and Maedhros are characterized so well, it's delicious.

The Carriage Held but Just Ourselves by StarSpray is an exploration of the line of Melian and Thingol's relationship with death. The whole fic is fantastic, but chapter 3 specifically deals with Elwing.

Elvenkings by am_fae is such a beautiful and sad look at the Doriathrim after the fall of the kingdom. It focuses on several characters, but Elwing is one of them and it handles her so well!

A Fish Hook, an Open Eye by simaetha is a tasty, dark Elwing/f!Maglor where things don't go quite according to plan when Maglor comes to negotiate with Elwing in Sirion.

Après Moi, le Déluge by HerenorThereNearnorFar is such a heartbreaking and tender look at Elwing's relationship with her children.

The Longed For That Cometh Beyond Hope by am_fae does an excellent job capturing the energy of the moments just after Earendil and Elwing secure the Valar's aid against Morgoth.

Was Dancing There by StarSpray is a quick, sweet look at Elrond's childhood with Elwing in Sirion and what remains of the heritage of the Doriathrim.

A Fiend in Feline Shape by Aipilosse deals with the house of Dior and Nimloth generally; Elwing is not the focus, but she is in it, and it's a delightful fic.

Less Flesh than Stone by crackinthecup is the confrontation in Aman that Elwing deserves with Maedhros.

Ebb and Flow by swanmaiden. Elwing is feeling the strain of her pregnancy and Earendil is so gallant as to help her out how he can. I really love how this fic shows the support these two had from their community in Sirion.

Joy is a Bird, a Fragile Thing by estuarie is a deeply touching reunion between Elwing and Elrond in Valinor TT_TT

Friendship and Stern Demand by polutropos is a fantastic look at the correspondence between Elwing and Maedhros prior to the Third Kinslaying.

From the Ones Who Came Before by Kirta is a great look at Elwing and Earendil's life growing up in the Havens. I am always a fan of childhood friends-to-lovers Starwing.

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by swanmaids is a great series of scenes of Earendil and Elwing and their life in Sirion, and dealing with the trauma of their childhood.

A Light Burns in the Forest by tinnurin is about how Elwing escaped Menegroth during the Second Kinslaying with Oropher and Thranduil. Really captures how terrifying and chaotic the assault on Doriath would have been.

We Build Castles with Our Fears and Sleep in Them Like Kings and Queens by TheLionInMyBed is more about Idril, but it does also take a look at Idril's relationship with Elwing.

So Summer Comes by potatoesanddreams does a beautiful job of exploring how Elwing's trauma and grief sometimes make it hard for her to be present for her kids while remaining sympathetic.

A Loss of Something I Ever Felt by Arriviste is a fic about Finarfin, but section 4 has his meeting Elwing and Earendil, and it is overall such a beautiful and well-written fic.

At the Water's Edge by crackinthecup takes a look at Elwing's relationship with Idril and what they share in terms of traumatic experiences.

Coastin' by swanmaiden. Heather handles these characters with such love and it really shows! Earendil is always looking to please his wife ;D

Beacon by polutropos has that yummy Starwing reunion smut after Earendil returns to port. A really fun married couple dynamic here!

For Elwing positivity in general I have to @swanmaids because she is the #1 Elwing stan that I know of, so if you want a blog to follow which is 100% pro-Elwing, there she is!

[cha1cedony]

I think part of the reason Gothcleats has literally like consumed my mind since becoming canon is because I think about the Wilsons in the context of marriage/romantic relationships SO much?? Like. Being aro, I normally don’t like analyzing characters through the lens of romance and how they function with crushes or in relationships… It’s just not that interesting to me, and I don’t like basing a character’s personality or worth on their romantic (or sexual) dynamics with other characters. BUT THE WILSONS? OH BOY.

Ramble under the cut bc this got way too long

ALSO!!! Warning for discussions of sex! Not very in-depth. (It’s mostly just about Grant and Marco hooking up on the Titanic lol)

Anyway!

So so so much of the Wilsons’ identities in canon (and also to an even further extent in my fics/headcanons/mind hehe) are based on their marriages and immediate nuclear families. For Darryl, his entire life WAS his family. As far as we know, the same was the case for Frank, and even Robert Wilson was pretty much always talking about his gal Sal iirc. Like obviously bc this podcast is about family, BUT as your resident Wilsons expert (lmao), I want to put forth that the Wilsons in particular are about marriage!

I think the best example of this, actually, is in S2 when (on the night before Grant’s WEDDING), Darryl is talking to Grant about marriage and says that he and Grant both know that Carol and Marco respectively are too good for them. Which like. is also one of the most loaded and important statements to me in this whole goddamned podcast (and probably THE most important for the Wilsons) for many reasons. but I digress lolol

For Darryl and Grant both, there’s a perceived power imbalance in their marriages: not in an abusive way or anything, but rather as like… a measure of self-worth? For better or worse, their self-esteem and sense of self-worth are dependent on the people close to them, especially their romantic partners.

Darryl is constantly comparing himself to his father (as is Grant), but not just as a father—as a husband, too. Darryl tells Frank that he wishes he had the kind of relationship with Carol that Frank had with Darryl’s mom (which is. doubly ironic and sad bc Darryl’s mom was cheating on Frank, and he almost cheated on her, too. but I digress again oops)

But he compares himself to Carol, too, thinking she’s smarter and ‘better’ than him, and Grant especially compares himself a LOT to Marco, saying that Lincoln would be better off with Marco as a single dad and that Marco is ‘better’ than him in general. I find this extra interesting bc Frank does NOT do the same with Darryl’s mom; in fact, he (albeit light-heartedly) says she’s worse than him for having cheated—I don’t have transcripts in front of me, but something along the lines of “If you think that’s bad…”

And that’s why I think the best (and honestly only) way to really examine the Wilsons as characters/people is through the lens of their marriages.

So much of Darryl’s character especially is based solely on Carol. He’s been with her since she was 13-14 and he was 14-15, and so much of his personality and life is entirely formed around her. She’s his best friend. When he gets the idea that she might be cheating on him, or dead (as a mummy), he loses himself because, like. What else is he if not Carol’s best friend, her husband, the father of her son? Almost any time Darryl has any character development (that isn’t related to his dad or son), it’s about his romantic and sexual relationships and feelings: with Carol, with Sweet Matilda, with the fucking sex pit! Lmao

And he and Carol NOT divorcing after S1 is honestly the only thing that makes sense to me; what else would he do? Even if they never manage to fix it all, what else does he have? (The answer is all of his family and newfound friends, but he can’t see it that way; his self-worth centers around HER, remember; she’s BETTER than him.) So they stay together, and he dies believing she still loves him and will be happy to be unchangingly domestic him with him all over again in heaven, whether it’s true or not. Until then, he lives with a facade of her and their son (btw the fake personal heaven Grant is a kid, so Darryl is presumably reliving his life before the events of S1 without changing anything which… is sad for a whole other set of reasons) because Darryl can’t be alone; what is he alone? ALSO. Okay actually no. I won’t get on my aromantic Darryl soapbox right now, but….. expect it at a later date lol. This part got kinda rambly/headcanon-y oops.

A lot of Grant’s character is ABOUT his romantic feelings/relationships; he’s pretty much inextricable from them. His crush on Yeet was originally his whole character (aside from aloof gamer kid lol): Shy, easily embarrassed, extremely obvious about his crush, trying to impress this cute and cool guy. And then, by the time of the Supper Bowl arc, after the chimera and everything else, he becomes more complex, of course, but those feelings are still at the center of everything—because they’re his escape.

He tells Yeet the TWO things that make him feel alive are violence (whether done TO him or BY him) and his crush on Yeet. Grant’s romantic feelings become linked and equated with violence and rage (which. makes me feel crazy btw but anyway. Sorry I love Grant beyond words) and are the only temporary cures for his dissociation.

So when Grant is an adult, of course he relies on romance and sex like a crutch; it makes him feel safe and real, and it’s an intersection of love and violence that makes him feel at peace.

I know it’s a funny moment, but this always makes me think of him and Marco hooking up on the Titanic: Grant believes wholeheartedly that they are both going to die and that there’s nothing he can do about it (or maybe he just doesn’t even want to try to save them). When Marco finds out what’s happening and sort of scolds Grant for it, Grant is embarrassed and says it’s because he’s just “having so many feelings” (probably not exact words), which is also interesting because that’s pretty much the opposite of his original problem of dissociating.

But, between being overwhelmed and dissociative, at its core, the same root feeling is there: hopelessness and helplessness. Also, in his second conversation with Lincoln is S2, Grant says that violence and killing help with his self-worth, also (which ties back to what I said earlier about the connection between the Wilsons’ self-worth and their marriages). When Grant kills someone, all of his doubts disappear and “it all goes white.” If we’re looking at this through the lens that Grant equates violence and love/sex, it must give him that same feeling of… blissful ignorance? Emptiness.

This leads me to believe Grant copes with feelings of hopelessness and self-doubt not just through killing, but through romance and sex, too—like we see on the Titanic (lol)

There’s a lot more speculation I could do about both Darryl and Grant (and Frank, and even all their spouses), but I’m trying to leave it to at least canon-adjacent stuff. Anyway, let me finally circle this all back around to Lincoln lol…

It’s clear that Lincoln thinks romantic relationships are very important. He thinks marriage is beautiful (and, based on his dads’ marriage, that all marriages are good and happy lol—which is especially funny/interesting to me when you consider the several times it’s been said that something Lincoln did/does is the only thing holding their marriage together, and he’s the whole reason Grant didn’t call off the wedding in the first place). His dads have spent a lot of time educating him about love and sex and personal choice in both of those categories, which he references a few times, but, despite their emphasis on personal choice and not raising him Catholic but encouraging him to believe whatever he wants, Lincoln, at 16, is SURE that he will get married someday (and probably young, since he said to Normal that a few years is a long time to wait lol). The Wilsons’ generational insistence on marriage, romantic relationships, and nuclear families persists regardless of Catholicism, it seems :’)

Lincoln’s marriage to Chris in the simulation was also clearly really important to him—and to Chris, too, since they asked him never to remarry. I know the cast joked about this, but it does make me a little sad that Lincoln’s relationship with Chris seemed to be a lot like Darryl’s with Carol! Granted, we only know a like two things about Chris lol… also, I LIKE Chris and Carol! A lot! No hate to either of them <3 but also, that doesn’t mean those relationships aren’t strained, you know?

Anyway! A lot of Lincoln’s character can of course be attributed to his dads’ marriage, like I said before, but his marriage in the simulation was pretty big, too. Although he doesn’t talk about it a lot, it must have matured him, at least on the inside. He later references the job he had in the simulation, as well as being a dad. When he marries the other teens in space, he still thinks of Chris and what they would think. Once again, like Darryl and Grant, a lot of Lincoln’s decisions and beliefs are tied to his spouse—even if they’re not there or were never even real to begin with. Even once he’s married to the other teens, he takes it VERY seriously with pet names and domesticities.

All of this to say, it makes me wonder about his marriage to Scary in relation to his characterization as an adult! I’m not speculating that their relationship is bad or anything; I don’t want it to be and in fact VERY MUCH hope they’ve broken cycles. I just wonder how it affects him as a character (and Scary, too, of course)!

I was really excited when Gothcleats became canon not just because I shipped them, but mostly because I think the Wilsons are most interesting when looked at through their marriages. Lincoln has always put a really strong emphasis on marriage, and all of his pet names and PDA with Scary in the S2 epilogue confirmed to me that they take after the previous Wilson generations in GOOD ways, which makes me really happy.

I guess the main question I’m getting at is about how Lincoln perceives himself in this relationship. In the years soon after the end of S2, does he still feel that same emptiness and feeling of “not caring”? Does he try to cure it in the same way as his father, making “it all go white” with violence or sex or getting someone else to hold him together, or his grandfather, suppressing his depression and trying to will it away with love and close/‘happy’ romantic relationships? Does he find any of those things in Scary? Does he see himself as her equal, or does he feel inferior, like she’s smarter or more capable or ‘better’ than him? He did say multiple times in S2 that she’s the leader, she’s the one who knows what she’s doing, and he just wants to follow along because he doesn’t care anymore.

I hope not. I hope Lincoln and Scary are really happy together. I hope their self-worth is not determined by their partner. I guess that’s all this ramble is :’)

OKAY WHEW. I’m done. That was fun :D

Thanks for subjecting yourself to my ramblings omfg… please send me all of your Wilsons thoughts always. I’ve been wanting to write a long thing about this FOREVER… The aro Darryl fic(s) will come eventually. Also one about Grant coping (badly lol) with sex, which has been in the works forever bc I am bad at NSFW. But it’s fun. Uhhh I guess that’s all?

OH ALSO. If you want to read more of my post-canon Gothcleats thoughts, I published a 15k fic the other day about Jerry being their foster kid! Here you go :3

Hit the Ground Running - chalcedony

(It’s very fluffy and sweet—which is rare for me, but I promise I’m not lying! It’s silly and fun. And I do not speculate too much about Lincoln’s inner turmoil, I pinky promise)

If you read this all. Um…. Sorry? LMAO. Here is a gold star for you ⭐️

[soullessjack]

to me one of the most fucked up things about godjack and that whole “oh Cas and jack are doing excel spreadsheets in heaven now isn’t that so silly” thing and whatever is like. why are you putting them back into the system that abused and manipulated them. cas was literally lobotomized and forced to kill fake deans numerous times to condition him back into being the blind soldier that angels are supposed to be. jack is considered an undesirable abomination by heaven and all of the original nephilim were basically culled from existence by the flood as a result of that undesirability, but at the same time he’s still powerful enough to be desired as a weapon and extorted as such. that’s totally not vaguely eugenicist! and like, both cas and jack were conditioned into doing horrible things by heaven, things that have left deep scarring on both their psyches and senses of worth. jack tortured and murdered another subset of undesirables, the nonbelievers, and the worst part is that he only did it because he thought he was making up for Mary. His guilt was extorted and weaponized and only led to more guilt. once he realized what he’d done.

cas was nearly complicit in the apocalypse and wholly the murder of Lily Sunder’s seven-something year old daughter, again bc she was an undesirable abomination much like Jack was . And he was conditioned into that complicity, tortured repeatedly into believing total complicity and faith in The Plan was Good, or not even good, just a vague and abstract version of justification. he declared war and committed genocide on half of his “siblings,” and comrades, because he was a soldier and war is his lifestyle and if he can find any justification for what he does he will do it and he was taught to value the end before examining the means by which he could get to it, because that’s how heavens system works. ironically I’d say it’s fairly close to Christian fundamentalism, but also capitalism and militarism as well.

Like oh hey, you were born into a corrupt system that raised you with no sense of free will, individuality, or personhood, and encouraged blind obedience and justification of everything in the name of some vague absolution? You belong to a specific group of individuals who are deemed undesirable by the system unless you can be extorted for its gain? Why don’t you just join it and perpetuate it with a few inconsequential changes instead of fully dismantling it because it’s corrupt by design!! yay silly spreadsheets !!!!!!

I know spn isnt trying to run heaven as any sort of actual system or commentary on real life systems, believe me i know it’s not good enough to do that, but even if you take away that lens of heaven and just focus on the face value show canon of what it did to Cas and jack.. it’s still so bleak

[ceo-draiochta]

A review of:

The Origins of Ireland's Holy Wells by Celeste Ray

Celeste Ray, a professor of anthropology for the University of the South, USA wrote this book after extensive research, both desk and foot into Irelands Holy Wells. I would honestly recommend anyone with any interest in Irish religious practices, culture, paganism, or mythology to pick it up. An amazing book. I'll be giving my thoughts and what I liked and didn't like about it here.

What I liked:

A very well researched book that shows the authors dedication not just to anthropology but to the living practices she is documenting

The passion of the author is clear and they Mince no words when discussing other researchers and their work, pointing out the flaws, misconceptions and biases (some of which were wild I can't believe some of these people are taken as authorities on the subject when their conclusion was that wells are a toilet metaphor?)

Uses a wider pre roman European context for the evidence. As we are so often reminded, to treat Ireland as some how separate from Western Europe is ridiculous and is a disservice to the interconnection of the people of old.

The reframing of this idea, which is normally used as a strong force against nativist views into a supportive one was quite interesting.

Examines roman writings in a very balanced way that acknowledges the inherent propaganda but does not dismiss it outright.

There's a whole section of people including academics who seems desperate for a roman invasion of ireland, despite there being basically no evidence of it. Like people are fully making things up to try and force one, the author gives these people a sound dismissal in their restating of the evidence of raiding and trade over large-scale roman conquest. (Genuine question can someone explain why people are so mad for Romans in ireland?)

I thus learned more about pre roman Western European practices and archeology than I ever really had the desire to. I am now much more educated on the subject.

The framing of sites as important locations adopted and readopted based on shifting circumstances of the time rather than a "secret unbroken line" which is much more realistic.

The explanation of Holy Wells as archaeologically challenging sites was well explained.

Using etymology in the connection of wells to supernatural beings. Love etymology so this was amazing

The use of early irish literature to support existing claims. Which I know claiming that there are pagan elements in the literature basically gets you spat and jeered at but nevertheless is really compelling.

While this blog has been thoroughly against the lumping together of celtic cultures, this book makes a great case as to when it is appropriate to use the term celtic and that the rush to replace this term has very much resulted in the baby being thrown out with the bath water.

Actually engages with living culture and treats folklore and living sources/practices as evidence to be considered rather than "silly little irish peasants" but also does not take every tale as completely accurate literal history.

Plenty of examples and pictures of well in practice today.

Supports a general pre Christian, pre roman use of wells and springs as sacred sites but also acknowledges the influence of both (especially Christian) on the practice.

Acknowledges the diverse origins of holy wells, from one's that have have votive offerings since the bronze age to ones that were made sacred in the modern age.

Does not buy into any sort of "Christians are thieves" narrative.

Honestly this seems like the definitive book on irish holy wells.

What I didn't like:

While I loved the book there was definitely things I took issue with.

The assertive nature of the tone was entertaining, it did sort of feel like the author was this close to calling other researchers "fucking idiots", though humanities papers seem to have a much more aggressive tone than I am used to from my field of study.

The author makes many an interesting and compelling hypothesis in the book, but they are just that. These theories are then presented as the fact of the matter when really they are no more or less substantiated than the other theories.

Could have done without some of the "identity politics" on the celtic question section. Like I get that's a huge part of this authors work but I didn't feel it was all necessary to include.

Some of the mythological comparisons seem like a little bit of a stretch Low-key.

Either way this is a fantastic work and I urge everyone even remotely interested to buy it, it's a little pricey but well worth it. It can be purchased online on Google books(link). Now obviously this is all from my lay perspective, if anyone with actual qualifications wants to correct or argue feel free. This is just my perspective.

[theseushasfallen]

Ok. So.

Currently, I find myself watching the 2011 remake of The Thing. And, because i’m a bitch with a hyperfixation, i’m thinking of how I could squish this and Trigun together to make a delightful mashup soup. Y’know, like mashing two ken dolls together to make them kiss.

So of COURSE i’m thinking of Cryptid/Uncanny/Monstrous Vash. He is always on my mind, any time any place, my babygorl who has Witnessed the horrors, and IS the Horrors.

And i’ve been thinking of this shit chronically, i’ve been planning a fic like this ever since i’ve begun to fully muse on how inhuman Vash is (COUGH, literal years). 

And one of my inspirations, is the fic Monster Boy by DeuBatty on AO3. And lemme tell you it’s put a fucken worm in my brain, its AWESOME I highly recommend going to check it out, its hella underrated and it gives the kinda energy I desperately wish to replicate.

So, here I am, trying to fit these pieces of crack infused bullshit together into a cohesive plotline, and this is how.

So, logically, I start with the Thing bit. Mmm. Aliens. (Mild spoilers for the Thing but it doesn’t go how you’d think lmao)

So currently, I’m stuck between only Vash being the alien in question, or both twins being aliens and Rem picking them up from the antarctic like ‘OOO FREE BABIES’

The second one is a bit self-explanatory, but the first is really, really funny, and I wanna explain to you why.

So. Lemme set the scene for you:

Science runs in the Saverem family. Rem’s a botanist who dabbles in archeo-botany, and her (adopted) son Nai is also quite taken with the pursuit of Archaeology. So when he’s called out on some,,,vague new trip to an outpost in the boonies of Antarctica to find some ancient, buried Structure, he’s elated.

So, he gets there, they dig up a frozen hunk of Something and leave it in the room like normal,,, but Nai thinks that something might not be right with the alien they dug up. So, still painfully sober and more than a bit paranoid, he goes to stare at a hunk of ice instead of socializing. 

And, well, whoop-dee-doo, he was right.

But instead of the ice bursting outward and the alien escaping though the roof like it does in the movie, Nai hears a pitiful scratching from within the ice. And then there are fissures, cracks. They multiply softly, as if the creature inside is unsure about its movements, intil the whole block is a veritable spiderweb of cracks.

Nai watches, frozen to the spot with something like horror as something pushes chunks of fractured ice out of the block, and reach out something that looks like what Nai can only describe as an appendage. 

Its something that looks closer to any crustacean or invertebrate, something with too many joints and a hard, shiny exoskeleton that gleamed iridesent black in lantern light. Things that could vaguely be called fingers (if one would squint) poked and prodded at the concrete floor curiously, examining the space with gentle caution.

And then more ice falls.  And more is revealed.

And Nai, only about a foot or so away from this thing, looks it in one glossy, black eye.

He screams. because of course he does, how could he not? The fucking alien he just dug out of the ice is ALIVE with questionable intention, how the hell is he supposed to cope with this shit when he could barely interact with his coworkers???

And in the process of screaming he ALSO freaks out the Alien, who screams back in much the same way that a canyon would- with Nai’s own voice.

So Nai, with his lightning quick reflexes, punches the thing. And slices his knuckles on its exoskeleton in the process.

Then he fucking books it back to the Rec Room, panicked screaming ensues about how “ITS ALIVE ITS ALIVE ITS ALIVE I CUT MY HAND ON IT I SCREAMED AND IT SCREAMED BACK-” 

And they’re all like. ‘what the hell. the serious stick-up-the-ass prissy Dr.Saverem wouldn’t josh about this shit.’ and they follow him back, and when Nai opens the door again they see that the ice?? is broken?? and with a glaring lack of alien??

Oh, and there’s a guy huddled in the corner. And when the door, yknow, slams open, he whips around (mans is butt-ass naked but he aint got no junk, just fucken ken doll smooth down there) and suddenly Nai is looking directly into his reflection.

The thing’s eyes widen, and it makes a strangled hurt-sound that sounds like the cry of a hawk more than anything human. And then it darts foreward towards Nai, everybody screaming around him as they scramble, but Nai himself is frozen as the thing takes his hand with the gentleness of family...

And then RIPS THROUGH THE SKIN OF ITS OWN NEW FINGERTIPS WITH ITS TEETH, and lets its blood out on Nai’s broken skin. It soaks into his open flesh as if he were a sponge, the throbbing overtaking his nervous system momentarily before the pain is gone and he watches his own skin knit back together seamlessly.

The alien chitters, something that sounds apologetic, and tries to smile at Nai, but it’s too wide and too sharp, teeth too large and lips too thin, and eyes too bright. But, strangely, it makes Nai feel better. He’s hit with a wave of attentative apology, the feeling not his own.

He chokes on his tongue, then slowly looks back at his coworkers, who had all watched the exchange with guns trained on either of them.

“Fuck.” Nai curses.

“F-uck.” The Alien echoes back with a tilted head, and stilted words.

Nobody knows what the hell to do with the sudden twin that Dr. Saverem had... acquired. So they just. Keep him around? Idk dude he picks up card games quickly, words even quicker, although they never sound right. Like a foreign accent, but something otherworldly and stilted. 

Nai and him, once they figured out the whole mind-link thing, could communicate pretty well, quickly gaining a bond. He serves as reluctant translator, resident alien babysitter, and knife-weilding peace-keeper. He doesn’t feel bothered by how his new brother seemed too tall, too gangly, too sharp. He doesn’t mind the way the alien cuddles up to him sometimes, winding circles around him like a particularly fleshy quilt that purred and clicked. Everyone else gets used to it too, although they mind his physical contact way less. 

Except for one of the investigative journalists that were hired, one Roberto De Niro, who just pats the alien’s head tiredly and throws him his cigarette-reeking coat whenever the little shit is looking particularly pathetic.

Eventually, they take him back to the states. They don’t talk about how four people came to the Arctic, and five came back.

Rem LOVES Nai’s new brother, smothers him and his human twin in blankets and kisses when they get home. She questions them, later, about it, and Nai could never keep a secret from his momma.

Eventually, they name him- something old and lovely, the name that Rem would’ve named her own son- Vash.

Something something shenanigans with meryl and milly and nicholas eventually, probably, idk i’m tired rn lmao and  this is LONG

[madtomedgar]

ok my real unpopular jgy opinion is that if i had read the novel first, i would have h a t e d him, specifically because of how the situation with nmj is different. the thing he does in the novel, where he stabs himself to get nmj to drop his guard so he can get away, i fucking hate when people do that shit. my brother used to do that to me when he was mad at me and wanted me to get in trouble. literally would throw himself down the stairs or rip off a scab so he was bleeding, then start bawling his brains out until parents showed up and say i did it, and it always worked.

and then, after that, it makes a lot of sense why nmj doesn’t buy it when jgy is injured, socially, physically, emotionally, and trying to argue for leniency based on his being injured. because the last time this happened, he saw jgy injure himself to make himself more sympathetic, and then took the opening that generated and ran with it. i would not buy someone’s sob story after i watched them do that! it makes sense to look at a similar scenario and think maybe that person is up to something again! and the “oh, but you know How He Is :( he just Won’t Listen :’(” is, again, something I’ve been on the receiving end of, and I hate it when people do that.

however, the cql relationship is immensely sympathetic to me, especially at the time i first watched the show. like. boss who sets you up to fail by putting you in a position of authority that a) makes sense with your skills but b) other people will think is arbitrary and then doing nothing to help you gain the respect of others you need to do your job, and unintentionally undermining you? co-workers blatantly fucking you over because they don’t respect you, and credit for your work and the success you managed to eke out despite everyone else being colossal fuckwads the entire way getting taken by and attributed to others? sometimes the fuckwads in cheif?? and then meanwhile boss is telling you not to complain and occasionally tromping in to make things worse by waving his authority around, instead of doing what you asked which would have actually been helpful?? and when you finally snap and do something about the fuckwads, somehow you are the bad person in this scenario, despite everything that you and your boss both know you have done for him, at great expense to yourself, despite what you both know he owes you?

See that is some good shit. I want to be cql meng yao’s union rep. not only will i buy him a drink and help him hide the body, i will switch his boss’s cologne with poison ivy juice.

And then nmj fixating on him and blaming him for everything for no good reason AFTER JGY SAVES HIS LIFE NOT ONCE BUT TWICE and ALMOST DIES one of those times! and just expecting him to periodically absorb his (very dangerous and painful!) rage like it’s nbd and if jgy has a problem with that it’s further proof it’s all his fault? defending jgy on tumblr is not enough i require a weapon etc.

so like. yeah i know in the novel the music doesn’t start until after the kick and in cql the implication that it does is supposed to make jgy more evil but, a) the implication is weak as shit upon further examination (intentionally? no. but what they did was leave a lot of room for doubt about the whole sequence they present) and more importantly b) because of everything above, i actually think it’s fine and sexy and cool and progressive of jgy to start the evil music before the stairs, because it was clear before that that this was going in that direction, and what nmj puts him through despite everything jgy did for him is enough to drive most people to “ok die then” i think.

[morphogenetic]

Mediaposting 2024, #5: Dai Gyakuten Saiban 1/The Great Ace Attorney Adventures

Completed: March 26th (main game) / March 27th (escapades/the bonus video content)

Time spent: 37 hours (main game) / 39 hours (including bonus content stuff)

Rating: 8/10 (but with caveats because of it being the first of a duology) thoughts under the cut because there are many and a lot of them are spoilery. but the tl;dr is that they were clearly still kind of finding their footing with this game but The Game Is Good. and the reasons i'm giving it an 8/10 are mostly because i need to see how dgs2 deals with some of the loose ends before i go higher

first, the positives (and I suppose the neutrals):

first of all, on the game design side of things, the music slaps. as usual for an AA game honestly but there does not seem to be a single miss in this soundtrack which is rare. can't wait to hear the inevitable remixes and reframing of themes in dgs2.

it took me way longer than i expected to warm up to the main cast, but once I really got into the meat of the game, i found that I do really like all of them (and I mean ALL of them, including the more minor characters. except mcgilded but fuck mcgilded). this kind of suprised me because I don't think i've come close to that in any AA game except maybe the first one and t&t. also maybe aai2 but that's pushing it. like this game reminded me why I like AA at all after the absolute slogs of 5 and 6. (and the absolute 'i remember fucking none of this' of apollo justice)

the character design of this game as a whole is INCREDIBLE. there is not a single character design that I don't like in some way. from the really good student uniform designs, to susato's kimono, to iris and sherlock's outfits.....and those are just the main ones. a lot of the witnesses and even some of the jury members are memorable just on character design alone. even the designs i think are kind of ugly (coughs. mcgilded) are clearly ugly by design and not by accident. it's a feat. hope that dgs2 keeps up the good work but based on the one (very big....oops) spoiler that i know, i'd be surprised if it didn't.

the parallel between ashley graydon and gina as kids raised in poverty in the last case. mwah. magnificent. chef's kiss. 10/10 no notes

dgs sherlock is such a good interpretation of the Man The Myth and the Legend

also i really adore ryuu as a protagonist. i can't quite put my finger on why, it might honestly just be because of how fucking distressed he is all the time LOL, but i like him in a way that feels a bit deeper to me than the way in which i like phoenix. he's clearly making the best of a bizarre situation and his Law Skills are more of a matter of natural talent rather than training

the ending is. man. it's good and a very good sequel hook but can you fucking IMAGINE if they had never gotten the money to make a sequel to this game. what a hell world that would be. imagine just dropping a major hint that three characters you already know of are involved in a huge fucking conspiracy and then never getting to explain why. vlr/ztd interface level catastrophe.

and then the few negatives i have which unfortunately drag this down a little bit for me, enough to the 8/10 level...primarily the first one:

this game has WHACK pacing. having essentially 3 separate tutorials is a wild game design choice to make. the pacing felt off to me to the extent that the end of case 4 felt like it was the middle of the game, and case 5 was almost half of my playtime at 16 hours out of 37 so i think it was close to LITERALLY being halfway through. i don't have a good idea on how to fix it, given that this game has to introduce both the new dance of deduction mechanic AND the weird jury summation examination mechanic, but....there should have been something. it really made it difficult for me to fully Care about the characters until i was into case 5. and I'm glad that case 5 was ultimately good enough to make me care about everyone (e.g. i didn't really care about gina in case 3 at all), but it's pretty rough. i genuinely don't know HOW you fix the pacing issue while also keeping the overall plot outline the same, though, especially because cases 2 and 3 are so crucial. the only thing i can really think of is introducing some of the background london information in case 4 instead of 5, but.......still. or making case 4 happen more than a single goddamn day after case 3. just something to make the pace not feel nearly as weird. sighs. idk. it needed substantial tweaking but I don't have a good idea on what tweaks needed to be made. i've heard dgs2 has much better pacing from someone whose opinions i trust on that kind of thing, so i really hope it pulls through there.

more minor critique: a lot of the cases, barring 5, are weirdly easy with very rare (and also weird) spotty difficulty spikes. of course it's always hard to strike the balance in an AA game, and i wasn't expecting the tutorial to be hard, but...case 4 just kind of dragged for me because of how long the trial goes on. 5 actually did have tricky moments for me thanks to eggman graydon wanting to hide the truth and the sheer amount of evidence, but yeah. still far more challenging than the dr games just giving you all of the facts at the very beginning of the trial, though...at least shu takumi knows how to write a mystery LMAO

asougi really needed a little more lead time before getting killed off, because i like him but, without the escapades, it's probably not as much as I think the game wants me to like him, and ryuu being his best friend is not super convincing to me even though he shows that a lot more in later cases. i'm not tooootally sure how i would have fixed that, maybe keeping him alive a bit in the first half of the 2nd case? doing some more slice of life stuff with him and ryuu? or making ryuu's reaction to his death a little bit more shocked? idk. i'm REALLY glad the escapades exist because they help a lot in fleshing him out, but i really think parts of them should have been in the game proper =========== all that said. if a game gets me to write this many fucking words about it..which took me a goddamn HOUR to write jesus christ i just checked my computer clock.... it's clearly doing SOMETHING right. honestly, if the pacing wasn't so bizarre, i'd probably bump it up a full point. i am absolutely playing the second game but im already worried its gonna hit full on zero escape and raging loop level catastrophe fixation (positive) once im done so…i'm honestly putting off starting dgs2 a little bit because i'm worried that it's gonna distract me to the point of my grades/job suffering a little LOL. i haven't had that happen in a while so, at least in that way....congrats dgs you won me over. i will never stop calling you dgs because thats how i was introduced to you 7 years ago as my best friend's first new-fixation when i first became friends with her. sorry it took so long for me to get around to you.

[billerak]

RWTC

As in rewatch get it because it's like team names and this fandom is obsessed with four letter acronyms and-*gets shot*

...

So… I once fixed hyperfixation by rewatching a show and taking notes about it, so imma try the same with RWBY as it's currently taking over a lot of brainpower just existing in my consciousness. I reckon if the rewatch itself doesn't remind me of how much of a mess this show is, taking notes might. Also I really wanna examine the 'Bumblebee was set up from the beginning' allegations. I'm 99.99% it wasn't but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. Just to make it clear for any bumblebee fan who may be reading this expecting me to be converted into loving the ship: Even if there are hints this early on, their development later would still be a goddamn mess. And just for the record: I will only be taking as 'hints' things that are undeniable. The show is very explicit with its hetshit, I won't take less than that for queerness. (Don't expect this to be an essay I'll just write down whatever I wanna say at any given moment and it will be awful to read, it's basically a diary for myself).

V1: Trailers: Honestly, they're bangers. Music's great. They set up characters. If I had to rank them I'd say R-Y-W-B but I only put Black below the others because I simply like the other fights better. I know why Adam is there with Blake but it kinda feels like he steals a bit of hte spotlight. (And the Dempsey Roll reference in Yellow cannot be beaten, sorry. Well except by Ruby's sheer fucking awesomeness but ykwim). Though tbh ADAM STANDING THERE AWKWARDLY INSTEAD OF JUST JUMPING IS INSANE. YOU CAN CLEAR THAT GAP MY GUY. Also the moon is, well, inconsistent across the trailers. Like you'd think maybe there was something going on with it breaking a bit more each trailer but, no, it jumps from barely broken to even more broken than in the show in Black, then stays the same in Yellow. Which. You know. It's the little inconsistencies that make RWBY, aren't they.

On the Bees: Someone pointed out to me that 'Red like Roses' implies Blake/Yang as the beauty and the beast. I… will grant it the benefit of the doubt in this case. I mean, Monty didn't even fucking know Ruby was standing by her mother's gravestone when he did this I seriously doubt he'd thought that much ahead. But RWBY is inspired by fairy tales, so the use of beast and beauty isn't likely to be coincidental either. This is the only instance where I will grant a 'benefit of the doubt'. I'm more inclined to believe it's actually a coincidence that neatly fit into it later. Blake/Yang have absolutely nothing of the beauty and the beast in their dynamic.

Ep 1: The dust speech at the start feels a bit odd in retrospect. Dust ends up being kind of underwhelming if we look at what it actually does for the plot, it doesn't feel more important than Aura and Semblances. I'd reckon all three could have been mentioned. Is… is that moon transition at the start meant to imply the moon's been breaking off over time? Honestly the creation myth of RWBY is one of the few things I do believe was at least mildly planned from the start so I find it mildly surprising. Maybe they planned for it to break more over time but forgot about it by volume 6 and just had the gods break it all in one go? The rest of the episode is ok. I won't be commenting on the voice acting too much—this was a bit of an indie production, after all. If any particular lines are too awful maybe I'll point them out. That being said, Glenda's semblance is awfully the fucking same as magic. Cinder is using literal magic so that's ok. It really never is quite explained how or even why dust interacts with semblances, is it?

On the Bees: Nothing this ep.

Ep 2: Should I mention the fact that the show never stops to breathe, especially this early on? I guess I'll do it because then when I can be positive about a scene it'll stick out. So… yeah, the whole introduction of Team RWBY is kind of all over the place in terms of pacing. Could ahve used an extra minute or two to make the conversation a bit, well, better paced. Also do Yang's friends ever show up again? I don't think so. And I know it's meant to be comedic but Weiss just swinging about a bottle of dust feels kind of… strange. She should know how stupid that is. That aside, there's a lot of expository dialogue that probably could have been shoved into the classroom scenes. The dust, weapons, etc. Leave room for the characters to actually speak instead of explaining things everyone present should know.

On the Bees: Nothing this ep.

Ep 3: Comedy is VERY hit or miss in general, so I'll just state I… don't really find most RWBY humor funny. I see the intent and I won't criticize it, it's just not for me. On another note: White Rose is my go-to ship in the early volumes. The writers clearly got scared of how much chemistry Ruby and Weiss had so they sort of… barely interact one on one again in the future. Did you know I like Diakko? Because I like Diakko. A lot. Check my AO3. Iykyk. Anyways I don't think the sleepover scene thing is too bad. Could have made Weiss interact with Blake a bit but eh whatever.

On the Bees: So, Yang makes a very pointed comment about being into boys! Very explicit and with no interpretation required! Let's see if we can see similar hints of her bisexuality at any point prior to V6. And on the off chance a bumblebee shipper is reading this: I don't really care how much these minor instances 'don't matter'. If they're such small things, why not have them go both ways? Like, say, the perfect chance that comes up right after with fucking Blake. Which isn't taken. "noo but she says she likes her bow' it's all literal pleasantries to try to get her to talk to Ruby and the second she isn't responsive Yang's like "Nah fuck her." There's more of a romantic interaction here between Ruby and Blake than between bumblebee ffs. Also Yang so far has only shown interest in boys, as evidenced by her trailer. 'nooo she was just pretending' she wasn't pretending here now was she. Anyways if it really was planned this early on what stopped the team from just showing a bit of her bisexuality. Because she also didn't have much of a 'gay awakening' thing moment. Which you'd think they'd give her. Or Blake for that matter.

Ep 4: Nora and Ren are introduced and it's clear Nora's in love with Ren from second 1. Even if it's unclear whether Ren reciprocates or not (And I'm gonna say unclear because dude's kind of very non-emotive in general). I think it's a fine enough introduction to the characters. Weiss is VERY gay towards Pyrrha you cannot convince me otherwise. (just for clarification's sake: I mean it in a shippy way, I know it's not intentionally queer, I'm a yurifag it's what I do). Oh hey look another character getting to be very explicitly heterosexual I'm sure queer folk will get the same treatment in this incredibly inclusive show! Idk if I like Pyrrha's introduction. I guess it's efficient but… well, like everything in this scene, really it coudl use some time to breathe. I could get nitpicky and complain about a lot of things with the 'team selection process' like, uh, the fact that some students have to have died or how there has to have been some terrible teams because of the random nature of it all. And I guess I just did. But I'll also say I'm gonna let it pass because, in the end, it's funny. Also Blake didn't speak a single word this episode. Or get like. Any focus. Like idk a shot of her reacting to other people's shenanigans at least. One of the 4 mcs guys.

On the Bees: Nothing this ep… Like with Blake.

Ep 5: AU where Pyrrha misses her shot because Ruby dodged that bird, and Pyrrha's weapon struck the bird instead of Jaune and Jaune fucking dies. (<- when I say these notes are for me I mean it this is the sort of shit I think about when watching episodes of anything) Like u get what I mean? Ruby and Weiss just have so much chemistry man. I don't get what Pyrrha saw in Jaune acting like a prick back there but idk straight people are weird. And… pretty much that's all I have to say about the episode. There wasn't much of a pacing issue here because it was like, 3 scenes altogether.

Ep 6: So, Yang's supposed to absorb damage to use her semblance. At least in the later volumes. Here she just… Uses it. The trailer version had been fighting and took a few hits so it made sense there but here? And don't tell me it had no effect because she used it to obliterate that bear Grimm. Anyways I think it changes a few times through the volumes I'll be on watch for that. Yang and Blake's meeting is… fucking nothing. More at the end. The, uh, 'fight' with Ruby and Weiss wasn't animated the best. That's all imma say about it. Ok so, Aura is a manifestation of the soul and it can coat yourself and your tools for protection and presumably also enhances attacks and provides healing. Simple enough. But… the thing about understanding light and dark or whatever? Shit never comes up again. Also I seem to remember this is retconned but we'll get there when/if we get there. I don't hate the concept of Aura. Hell, it's almost exactly how I handle at least 2 magic systems I'm currently working on (sans details). I just think it's poorly utilized, being almost always just used as a magical coating and little else. The whole 'manifestation of the soul' thing rings hollow. Also does anyone else ever do the shield-aura thing Ren did here? Leaving aside my problems with Aura in general, Pyrrha's whole thing about helping Jaune manifest Aura: W H A T. T H E. F U C K. Like, did anyone on the team pause to think of the implications of this? Probably not. Definitely not. Just think about it for a second. This implies that it's possible for people with aura to help people without it manifest it. Whether the speech is important or not is irrelevant, let's say it's just something to help someone focus. That's not the freaking point. WHY woudln't they do this to everyone? If Pyrrha could do it with Jaune, who is pretty much a normal ass dude, why not do this for every citizen? It literally takes like a minute. Sure it tires the person who does it but like, what's stopping that person from turning around and doing it to someone else? Let's say it requires training to do it: Why not train people for the explicit job of unlocking other people's auras? And yes, they very explicitly state everyone has an aura, whether it's unlocked or not. Listen to me. LISTEN TO ME. You live in a society where a negative emotion will attract the monsters trying to kill you. Do you know how much safer people would feel if they knew they'd survive at least one or two hits from a Grimm? The panic you could help avoid? Grimm have this thing where they retrofeed themselves, causing panic which attracts more of them which causes more panic etc. By unlocking everyone's Aura you could help avoid or at least severely delay that problem. I don't think this is ever done again. But even if it is, the point would only get stronger, because it's clearly not something only Pyrrha can do. Anwyays back to our regular content, fight scenes with Monty are pretty good most of the time. Ren never uses his bare fists to attack again I don't think.

On the Bees: Every other pairing formed in these episodes had like. A proper exchange when they met. To show what chemistry they had together. Whether it be Weiss ignoring then coming back to Ruby, Pyrrha making a wisecrack at Jaune or Nora's and Ren's whole thing. Yang and Blake? Blake doesn't say anything, she just smirks (I think it's meant to be a smirk anyways). Yang just boasts. I understand Blake's not a very talkative individual but this tells me nothing of what their dynamic's gonna be.

Ep 7: Weiss and Ruby having really fun interactions here and then Yang and Blake have a nothingburger of an interaction. Actually, make that 2 nothingburger interactions. Jaune and Pyrrha get to be comedic here. And that's basically the episode really.

On the Bees: I don't care if bumblebee shippers read a million layers of meaning into Blake not saying shit when they first interact this episde. Fine. But Yang doesn't even have a reaction to it! She doesn't act annoyed or intrigued she literally does fucking nothing about it. Then the pony thing is like… ok. What's their dynamic here? Weiss and Ruby have a really strong dynamic already in place. Jaune and Pyrrha are building one that's at least starting to make sense. Nora and Ren had one from their first seconds together. Seriously. You wanna argue they were planned from the beginning? Well they sure seem like people who ended on the same team and shrugged and said 'whatever' and kept moving without further interaction, unlike fucking EVERYONE else. It pisses me off because you can 100% play Yang's hotheadedness against Blake's more calculating nature, but they don't fucking do that. 'Planned from the beginning' my ass, mfs couldn't even figure out how to squeeze some characterization out of their interactions.

Ep 8: The start of this episode is another case of RWBY humor not really hitting home for me. Another case of Yang just using her semblance for a tantrum. Seriosuly White Rose gets a fucking moment every episode. Yang and Blake barely fucking interact. I'm going insane. The rest of the episode is basically one big action scene, and well, it's RWBY at its best, so no real complains here. Roman is kind of awfully underutilized, isn't he.

On the Bees: I'd love to go on a rant like last episode but honestly shit still applies. The only actual interaction Yang and Blake have here is when Yang is feeling proud of Ruby, and it speaks nothing about their dynamic.

Ep 9: Last episode Blake wasn't saying shit and now she's suddenly a huge part of the redecorating efforts. The problem isn't that I think she should be a loner or aloof, the problem is that it doesnt' feel too consistent. She starts being like "leave me alone I wanna read", she barely exchanges a word with Yang later, and now she joins in on the fun? idk, maybe she could've joined in a less overt way. Other than that it's a fine scene, though it goes too fast for my liking. The classroom scene is amazing because it teaches us basically nothing, other than the mention of the 4 kingdoms. Like it says a lot of shit about 'true huntsmen' which ends up proving mostly untrue through the rest of the show. Which would be fine if it was like, a point made, but it's not really.

On the Bees: N o t h i n g.

Ep 10: More White Rose people really trying to tell me not to ship them because the bees are canon but fuck you THEIR DYNAMIC IS THE BEST PART OF EARLY RWBY. Always with the caveat of 'pacing could be better' ofc. Anyways what the fuck was up with professor moustache flirting with Yang what were they thinking. I think the Weiss/Ruby conflict could have been stretched a bit. Rather than a day, make it a week or something. Still, this is one of the better episodes of the season, iirc.

On the Bees: Nada. Zero. Nanai. But we keep getting fuel for White Rose DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY FRUSTRATION HERE. LIKE SERIOUSLY I WOUDLN'T EVEN MIND THE ABSOLUTE LACK OF ANY EXPLICIT QUEERNESS IN THESE EARLY VOLUMES IF THEY AT LEAST BOTHERED TO MAKE THE SUPPOSED 'PLANNED FROM THE BEGINNING' COUPLE INTERACT PROPERLY. NOBODY WOULD BE CASTING DOBUT TO THE CLAIM IF WHITEROSE HAD ENDED UP BEING CANON.

Ep 11: Ok, here's the thing. Aura is a manifestation of the soul. I can accept it can be measured somehow. The question here is, what exactly happens when it breaks? Like, what happens to your fucking soul? Really, I would just make it vital energy the same way ki or chakra works, because tying it to the soul like that just leads to questions. Anyways this episode is just the setup for the "jaune gets bullied arc". I'll actually not say too much about it because my own thoughts towards bullies are rather… extreme (as in, I would kill them all without hesitation were I given the chance sort of extreme). So instead of commenting on how absolutely terribly I think this arc is handled, I'll… not do that. That being said, none of team JNPR or RWBY standing up for Bunnygirl is kind of bullshit. Also, we know there's cameras everywhere on beacon, so why don't the teachers do shit? Though to be fair, teachers not doing shit about bullying is the most realistic part of this whole thing.

On the Bees: Still nothing.

Ep 12: Ok so the discussion of "making up new races to be racist towards" has been ongoing for as long as the internet has existed, probably earlier than that too. I am white, and I'm not from the US. In my country I'd say we have far more xenophobia than we do racism, and we didn't have a civil war over the the concept of freeing slaves. We just sort of did it. All of this to say: I'm not really in a position to give too pointed an opinion on the whole 'racist towards faunus' thing. With that and my refusal to speak on hte bullying topic, that kind of leaves me with little to say in general about the rest of the volume, huh. That being said, while I don't mind the Jaune/Pyrrha thing, and I do like the idea of Jaune somehow faking his way into beacon… how? How exactly does he do that? Like, think about all the security shit we've seen over the years. How does anyone create fake transcripts? Woudln't Ozpin or Glynda call the schools of their students to make sure their records are correct? idk. Maybe Ozpin just found the idea funny.

On the Bees: Knees.

Ep 13: I like the conversation between Jaune and Ruby, though it feels a bit… random for Ruby to be saying this? I guess the idea is she matured a bit after the conversation with Ozpin but it doesn't really feel like she's at the point where she should be saying stuff like this yet. I think she and Jaune should've played off each other, instead of Ruby acting like she's experienced about this.

On the Knees: Bees. Or, actually, I think it was wasps in that box.

Ep 14: Pyrrha's semblance is later treated as though it were secret (iirc) but she certainly doesn't seem to care too much about it right now. Wouldn't it be a matter of public reacord, anyways? Like, if you go to a fighting school, I'd reckon they want to know what their fighters' semblances are. Wouldn't want to have Gorey McBloodhands walk into the next sparring session and make someone explode from the inside, know what I mean? I suppose the existence of Salem could work to explain the masking of this but… They put up public tournaments where the best fighters are literally shown to the whole world anyways, and most semblances aren't as subtle as Pyrrha's so, you know. Anyways, that moment when Jaune's aura glows… Is… that supposed to be his semblance? I think it was more just that thing Pyrrha said about Jaune having a lot of aura, but if Jaune can use his semblance on himself, well… Fuck, the implications. Jaune could be the most broken character of this cast. Should be, even. Only semblances like Tyrian's should be able to counter him.

On the Bumbles: What happened to the box of wasps anyways.

Ep 15: Ok, so the only thing I will say about the racism arc: It makes sense Weiss would be racist, I just think it comes out of nowhere, when they had at least 2 other chances to show it in the past to build up to all of this. First thing Sun does when he shows up: Flirt! With Blake! More at the bottom Anwyays previous to final episode of the volume and… we introduce 2 random ass characters out of nowhere. And no, this wasn't planned from the beginning, this was done in haste because Monty thought it'd be cool to have them in a fight scene, and it shows. Monty was a genius animator but the guy could have done a little consulting with his team, really. THAT BEING SAID. I kinda think like they did the best they could. For all my complaints, using Sun as the trigger for Wiess's rampant racism (even though it could've been built up to) is effective enough. And… Ok Penny is a bit superfluous and she… doesn't really add anything to the scene other than being a literal obstacle, but, uh, could be worse really. I didn't much care for penny back in the day, but I do love Penny after V7-8, much as her revival bothers me (I remember when they claimed that no, Penny couldn't be brought back to life despite being a machine. You really want me to believe their claims about other stuff when they pull shit like that? You know the whole racism argument could have been a moment for Yang and Ruby to actually partake in the conversation. Especially yang since, you know, they were totally planned as a couple from the beginning.

On the Bees: Nothing! But Sun had a moment with Blake! Two, actually! And Sun's gonna be the one getting the infodump first. Like, dude's really gonna connect more and more deeply with Blake over a cup of fucking coffee than Yang has in literal months- "But no guys you don't understand there was never anything going on there clearly it was nothing it had no narrative impact it was meaningless fr fr" I'll say more about this over the volumes because holy fuck the level of cope is amazing here. I know I'm gonna sound like a goddamn hetfag complaining about this but you seriously need to understand I'm a yuri connoisseur I fucking hate heterosexuality (in media. real heterosexuals are ok sometimes) (this is a joke but only if the previous comment offended you if not it's real)

Ep 16: Well I already said my piece about Blake telling her backstory to Sun rather than her teammates. Way to go Yang, sticking up for Blake in the face of Weiss's continued racism. How effective is it to hold someone at gun/knifepoint, given the existence of Aura? If Blake tried to slit Roman's throat, even with a shot, its unlikely she'd be able to pierce through the aura, right? Cool fights are cool. Ok, racism arc aside, I do think it's kind of a problem that Weiss just… solves her racism because she 'thought about it'. Like, bitch wasn't even confronted about it, you get me? I like the idea of the 'reunion', the problem is… it doesn't feel earned. Pacing issues, like usual, but especially awful here.

On the Bees: N O T H I N G BLAKE WAS MISSING FOR HALF A DAY AND WEISS HAD MORE OF A REUNION WITH HER AND RUBY HAD MORE OF A REACTION.

Anyways, V1 finished. Veredict? It's a mess. It's RWBY. Despite all the criticisms I've thrown its way, I believe I enjoyed it more this second time than the first, to be quite honest.

And no, this volume did absolutely nothing to convince me that Bumblebee was planned from the start. In fact it kind of pushed me in the opposite direction. Like, the VA's really shipped this from the start? Fucking why? They barely interact, when they do it's fucking dry, and Blake has deeper moments of connection with the other two members of RWBY than with Yang. I am genuinely astounded anyone would believe the claims the bee's were always meant as endgame. Fucking hell.

On a completely separate note: Pyrrha doesn't pass the Bechdel Test for volume 1. Yes I kept track of this.

RWTC 2

[dailyoyo]

thabk yoi a lot dailyoyo your brains are very compelling to me it kind of makes me want to study you like ants . i quote you all the time like i tell my friends " i stole this sentiment / headcanon from a deranged yoyo tumblr account " . you are aspirational really Truly we need more dailyoyos in the world i cant stop thinking about lawyer yoyo now .... also i beg for more dissecting of yoyo and mew dynamics if ur Into That . theuve always been really interesting to me but honestly like 4 pieces of canonexist in jsr ever so

VERY DELIGHTFUL ASK TO GET. i love to hear that i have had a net impact in making people get weirder. its so important to me. making the jsr fandom worse one post at a time <3

a lot of the way i post in here is inspired by both my friends but also some of the crazy bitches (affectionate) ive seen around over in the dragon ball z fandom in particular, but really i think ANYONE in the world no matter the fandom has the god-given right to tear characters apart with their teeth and make them fail as fuck and really really really sick in the head in ways they were probably not intended to be read as in canon. Everypony out there get eviler!!!!!!!!!!!! Now.

IM GLAD YOU LIKE LAWYER YOYO I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT TOO. hes fascinating to me in that like hes technically not a Bad Ending (MOST of that au technically isnt!) and yet objectively he is a worse outcome because in regular(paradox) canon theres an avenue for yoyo to heal and become less bastardous. because like he has genuine friends and positive interactions and reasons to Want to be more than a self serving shithead. and also hes 16 of course hes an asshole hes 16.

but with lawyer yoyo its like. Its too late. He grew up and he stayed like that and he does not care to change and he has no impetus to change. hes definitely living a safer and more comfortable life and he has much higher self-esteem but he is Staying dead inside. Like ok regular yoyo and lawyer yoyo are both mentally at the bottom of basically the same exact well but lawyer yoyo was like "fuck it" and built a house down there. do you get me

Oh fuck this post is getting so long and i havent even talked about mew and yoyo yet.

okay so liek. beat was yoyo's first proper Friend in the ggs (as opposed to "just tolerating him being around"). because beat kind of totally fell for yoyo's whole harmless schtick lmao. but mew was the first Real Friend in that she picked up on how much of a fake fuck yoyo was and decided to hang out with him anyway.

which. ADMITTEDLY. this was originally BECAUSE she was fascinated by yoyo being so insincere (for a while he was also really playing up the "ohoho i'm TOOOTALLY not a double agent" thing for shits and giggles even though he literally wasnt.). and as previously mentioned yoyo had a crush on her which is why he didnt realize mew could see right through him. honestly for a while he kind of thought he had totally had her under his thumb but the whole time mew was like "Awww hehe he thinks im only hanging out with him because of his manipulations, thats so cute ^_^" (<- DERANGED)

and in a way while they were already friends their friendship didnt Truly start until after yoyo confessed his love and was rejected. because like the whole thing was kind of a wakeup call for yoyo - mew had noticed his feelings all along and was waiting for him to say something Just to reject him, and like among normal people that would probably be a lot more hurtful but in that circumstance it was like... she'd outplayed him. easily. and he didn't even notice, but she's still here anyway. and she still wants to hang out with him even though she can tell the kind of person he is.

because the thing is like. mew may play up her innocence and naivety but she IS genuinely kind at heart. a lot of her strange desire to examine nasty people under a microscope is because of her desire to see the humanity in everyone, to understand Why people do the things they do. and she's not under any illusions that she can """Fix Him""", god knows she's not sure she can even "fix" herself, but she saw yoyo for what he was and could respect the survival mechanisms at play for what they were. (this is also why mew was so immediately like "idk Yoyo doesn't seem like that kind of person..." when the nt-3000 thing happened because. like. she Understood his modus operandi and that simply Wasn't It.)

and like when youre the kind of person who thinks that as soon as someone sees under your mask that they'll want you dead in a ditch, knowing someone who recognizes your mask and is just like "oh cool, i got one too" is kind of world-shaking. paradoxically them recognizing each others' insincerity makes them be a lot more sincere with each other.

Oh fuck this post long as hell. yoy

[ineffectualdemon]

The thing people seem to miss about MDZS is there are almost no morally pure characters because almost all the characters have falling into a destructive cycle:

Characters are abused by people who see them as things

They are dehumanised

And when they rise up against that abuse their response is to dehumanise their abusers by seeing them as monsters that deserve whatever happens to them

Wei Wuxian tortures Wen Chao and those with him in brutal and horrific ways

For whatever evil that they did that was grotesque cruelty

So was the cultivation worlds treatment of the Wen sect remnant. The cultivation world didn't see them as people they saw them as "Wen Dogs" and it was easy to then see Wei Wuxian as less than human too

Jin Guangyao does the same process when seeking his revenge. What he does to his father is again horrific and of course to Nie Mingjue

Mo Xuanyu is another example

We see this most extremely with Xue Yang who had never been treated as a person until Jin Guangyao and later Xiao Xingchen and he has no desire to see anyone else as people

Jiang Cheng is an interesting example of this because like the rest of the cultivation world he does this with the Wens too.

Which is why he can't understand Wei Wuxian's choice and is so hurt. Because in the book he has no relationship with or memory of Wen Ning and Wen Qing. He had either been unconscious, nearly catatonic with depression, or blindfolded around them. They are quite literally strangers to him and strangers affiliated with a group he has stopped seeing as people and only sees as monsters.

A view that comes from his personal trauma and that is supported and encouraged by the adults around him

And until Jiang Yanli's death Jiang Cheng is one of very few people who does not see Wei Wuxian as a monster. After the death of Jiang Yanli he wants to see Wei Wuxian as an inhuman monster

He wants to be able to see him as something other then human. Something not his brother

And he utterly fucking fails at it

When Wei Wuxian comes back Jiang Cheng is posturing and threatening but he is much more bark than bite. I think some people see him as an antagonist early on but really it always felt more to me that Wei Wuxian wanted to get away not because he felt in danger (except if Fairy was around) but because it was really fucking awkward and his personal guilt was eating him alive

Like Jiang Cheng gets mad that he can't hate him properly! It's a whole thing! If he's an antagonist he's really shit at it!

Still, there is a reoccurring message: when you see people as monsters/less than human then it you run the risk of becoming monstrous in response

There are far more examples in the book. I'm not going to list every single one here.

Am I saying the cultivation world was wrong to fight the Wens? No

Am I saying Wei Wuxian was wrong to save the Wen sect remnant. No

What I'm saying is the book is an examination of a cycle of dehumanisation and brutal cruelty

And I think that's really interesting and one of the reasons I like MDZS

Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, even Lan Wangji to an extent...their generation were kids who had horrific traumatic shit happened to them. It's not surprising that they saw the perpetrators as monsters instead of people. It was easier and it was encouraged by the adults around them who encouraged them to continue to paint people as monsters,

But I think a lot of the story is some of them realising in various ways how seeing people as inhuman warps your thinking and your actions. And they don't all learn that gracefully. And some don't learn at all, and some learn the lesson far too late

It's just something I really enjoy about the book