#why does everyone get decades more out of their bodies than i do its not fair

[antarcticajoy]

seriously who fucking gets carpal tunnel syndrome "with extras" in their mid-twenties

[irisbleufic]

REVIEW

Gatsby: An American Myth (Welch, Chavkin, Bartlett, Majok, & Tayeh; American Repertory Theater)

Something that most adaptations of Gatsby get wrong, whether film or stage, is the treatment of characters as archetypes rather than individuals. Symbolism drowns out most genuine attempts at capturing emotional connections and conflicts of personality. They forget that this story is not only a failure of the so-called American Dream; first and foremost, it’s a tragedy of failed roles and relationships. Almost every one of the players is attempting to be someone they are not, and even as they reach for what they believe they should want, they reveal with increasing fervor what they actually want. This is the heart of what makes Welch’s new adaptation so devastatingly, disarmingly unique, so true to its source.

The set design is literal wreckage. Crushed and warped automobile chassis scaffold the moving staircases, and concealed trap doors. The backdrop shows no clear incorporation of the infamous Eckleburg billboard; rather, it is made up of a dotted grid resembling headlights. These play out effects ranging from a downpour to camera flashes to, briefly and only once, a pair of eyes that make no effort to hide behind the owlish frames of glasses. The only thing infusing this jagged framework with meaning is the people who move through it.

The lighting design works with the set’s incongruences, deepening or excavating shadows as needed. The brightness, when it flares, is blinding. Jewel tones either enhance or diminish a costuming scheme that is composed of either very pale or very dark shades, no in between. And whether it’s the post-apocalyptic black and gray cabaret garb of the ensemble or the wealthy protagonists’ pale suits or the gunmetal and gray denizens of the wasteland, everyone’s trouser and skirt hems are conspicuously rimed with reddish dust. The visual effects are nearly impossible to describe without sounding like I had some kind of desperate fever dream.

So far, I realize that these descriptions of the set and lighting design sound like this production is about to fall into the trap of overplaying symbolism, but please bear with me. With all of that established, I can focus on what’s truly extraordinary here, what’s meant to and does shine unhindered. The acting, musicianship and vocals are all so precise that it was hard for me to believe this show is still in previews. It feels Broadway ready, West End ready, major international tours ready. If I was the production crew, I’d turn this loose on a massive scale from the get-go without a second thought.

Much like with Hadestown, the musicians are not down in an orchestra pit. They’re characters in their own right, present on the stage from start to finish on tiered risers that run up from the center on each side from one of the catwalks. I’m sure Chavkin’s involvement as director has everything to do with why this show feels so much like, moves so much like Hadestown. The company is on an equally small scale, about 23 - 25 people including the principals.

Costuming among the ensemble is delightfully gender agnostic. I mention a cabaret aesthetic earlier in this review, and I’m not kidding. If you had shown me the ensemble costume designs without showing me the principals’ designs, I would have assumed I was looking at a Cabaret revival. They’re the most talented dancers I’ve seen occupy one stage in more than a decade. The choreography relies on movements in eerie unison for a significant portion of the show, but not without allowance for individual flair within those constraints. The guy sitting next to me, when I spoke to him at the intermission, said he works as a choreographer in regional theater, and he’d never seen anything like this. I couldn’t agree more; the dancing is singular, and as impressive as the musicianship is, the dancing and unusual body movement are maybe the greatest achievements of this show on the living, breathing end of things. I could have watched the dancers for those three hours without any dialogue or vocal intervention and still understood the story. That takes so much fucking doing.

As for the principal cast, they’re constantly among the ensemble; when I say these are all triple threats in the purest sense of that terminology, I really mean it. You always expect a few of the principals to be less dance and movement focused, more polished on the acting and singing side, but this show gives you terrifying proficiency from every angle. Even the guy playing Meyer Wolfsheim is at the center of what I think is the most memorable dance number in the piece. I’ve just never seen such versatile principals all in one production. What’s even more extraordinary is that I had never heard of or previously seen any of them, and that takes some doing given how much live theater I’ve consumed in several decades of life.

Ironically, the musical composition is the one aspect of this production on which I’ll be spending the least time. I need not tell you why Welch and Bartlett were perfect for this job. They understood the assignment, and then some. There’s not a single weak number among the track listings, and I desperately hope they release a recording soon. The standout numbers all have something in common: they showcase Soleia Pfeiffer as Myrtle Wilson. You can tell that’s the role where Welch sank most of the sound that’s considered her signature style. I don’t even need to describe it; you already know what I’m talking about. What’s impressive otherwise is the restraint, the lack of over-reliance on that signature style.

The principals are fucking perfect. I’ve kept this review tautly professional without meaning to thus far, but from here on out is where I start bleeding feels all over the post. If you don’t already know who my blorbos are due to my writing history with a Gatsby-related novel (The Pursued and the Pursuing, 2021), you’re going to know by the time you’re done reading this. You’re going to know exactly who I love and why, who I hate and why, who I ship and why. But you’ll also know that I approach all three of those elements from a place of enjoying every moment of those characters, even the ones I hate. Nobody’s performance put me off or struck the wrong tone when taken in context of the novel and how the tragedy of how their relationships play out.

For a long time, I’ve been saying that there are certain support roles, certain sidekicks, that make or break the higher-profile person to whose side they’re stuck, ride or die, until the bitter end. Horatio is a great example that I’ve ranted about before; if your Hamlet production has a lackluster Horatio, then it doesn’t matter how good the Hamlet is. You have nothing if you don’t have the binary star system at the heart of that harrowing universe. I’ve seen other adaptations of Gatsby consistently fall apart because Nick Carraway is treated like the kind of voyeur who doesn’t matter, the kind of voyeur who serves as the audience’s eyes and ears, and nothing else. Anyway, this is all to say: Ben Levi Ross as Nick might be the most compelling argument I can make for the fact that the creative team behind this show understood the assignment. He’s awkward, warm, sincere, and reactive in all of the ways you need Nick to be. He’s not a passive observer; he’s in the middle of everything, and he knows it. There’s a self-deprecating response he makes when one character, Jordan if I’m not mistaken, quips that maybe he’s the reason for Gatsby’s parties for all he knows. “Maybe I am,” he says, and the tongue-in-cheekness belies a gutting meta-sincerity. We believe Daisy is the point, Gatsby believes Daisy is the point, but what’s borne out every breathtaking moment of this production is that Nick is the point. He always was. He’s also given his due as a gay man in context of the story for the first time ever. I might make some folks mad when I say Nick has always been gay; I’m going to point you to Myrtle’s apartment party and the hookup with Mr. McKee as textual evidence in the novel. The kiss with McKee, the hookup with McKee, is unapologetically here. His lack of belonging everywhere else he’s ever been, because he is gay, is unapologetically here. One of the most memorable numbers in the show hinges on the hope feels at being able to be himself in New York. Queer fans of Gatsby have been waiting a long time for this. Anyone who’s read the text closely and understood him has been waiting a long time for this. I’ve been waiting several decades as a reader, and I would’ve waited forever to have Nick so fully, lovingly realized.

One of the other things that Gatsby adaptations have persistently gotten wrong is the titular character himself. The invention of Jay Gatsby hides the underlying James Gatz, makes it feel as if that old self is truly subsumed, as if it never mattered. But Isaac Powell gives us a Jay who’s exactly as he should be, who can’t hide beneath his own attempt at artifice and reinvention worth a goddamn. He’s young (as young as Nick; they’re 32 and 30 respectively both in the novel and here), painfully earnest, and just barely keeping a handle on the criminal shit he’s had to do in order to get where he is. When he says old sport to Nick, it’s not an affectation; when he says it to Tom, it becomes a biting insult. This is a Jay who knows where and why he’s vulnerable; he latches onto Nick like a not because he sees a man close to Daisy that he can exploit, but because he sees another young man who’s equally vulnerable, equally an outsider, equally haunted by the things they had to do in the war. From the moment they meet, they are almost always touching—a hand on the shoulder, on the back, getting in social harm’s way for each other, eyes seeking each other without cease in the most crowded of settings. When Jay takes Nick to lunch to meet Wolfsheim (who has in this production taken on the function of Dan Cody as well), it’s not to have somebody else vouch for the artifice of who Jay Gatsby is. It’s taking Nick to meet his fucking father-figure, and all of the messy, sincere “if you hurt my boy, I’ll kill you” sentiment that Wolfsheim aims at Nick was the moment I knew just how much the Nick’s loss by the end was going to hurt. Jay’s love for Daisy is a ghost of itself, even if as painfully earnest as everything else about him. Meanwhile, his attachment to Nick is so disarmingly genuine from the start that you understand the true tragedy you’re about to watch untold: these men who need each other, maybe even were made for each other, each prove unable to step outside their parallel distractions from what they truly are to each other. Jay’s interactions with Daisy and Nick’s interactions with several male and/or gender ambiguous members of the ensemble have something in common, which is a shocking level of physicality. This show had an intimacy coordinator; that’s the level of no holds barred we’re talking about. When you look at Tom and Myrtle, you can see why that was merited, too.

Speaking of Tom (Cory Jeacoma), the treatment of him here is every bit as scary as it should be. There’s no attempt to make him palatable, unlike what I’ve seen done with him in other adaptations. He towers over everyone else in the cast, I mean everyone, to a physical degree that’s uncomfortable. The way his wife, lover, and friends all flinch when he gets too close to them speaks volumes to the fact that he’s an abuser in every sense of the term. Even Nick, the prodigal college friend from Yale, is on eggshells around him (which, by the hotel blowup at the end of the show, becomes a sneering, reckless contempt, one of the driving forces that drives Nick to put himself between Jay and Tom whenever real harm is on the table). At the same time, this is a Tom who sincerely loves his wife and was only ever using Myrtle as a fling. You can tell he never meant any of the promises he made Myrtle. When Daisy tells him she didn’t stop the car on purpose, it’s as if his wife’s unapologetic act of manslaughter (“It was her or me!”) is the thing that wins him back. They aren’t careless people; they are people who consciously choose, day in and day out, to use others until they’re bored or done with them. The ruthlessness of Tom and Daisy as a couple is impressive, played up to a level that I feel more adaptations should do without fear of exaggerating the text.

As mentioned above, Daisy (Charlotte MacInnes) is no delicate, nervous creature who can’t help her actions under duress. She knows what she’s doing every bit as much as Tom knows what he’s doing. They use people, hurt people because they get bored and restless and enjoy it. I respect a Daisy who’s in control of her actions every step of the way even if I don’t like her; it’s better than trying to depict her as weak and at the mercy of the men around her. She’s a pragmatist and a survivor. So many of her songs are about choices and being conscious of those choices. She is a person you should fear every bit as much as you fear her husband, and even Jordan knows she’s not safe in Daisy’s orbit.

As Jordan, Eleri Ward is one of the neatest personalities on stage. Like Tom, she’s noticeably taller than most, which gives her a commanding physical presence. She has no romantic interest in anyone; I fucking love that this production show her and Nick bonding on the basis of being queer and tired of everyone else’s shit. This is a more likable, relatable Jordan than I’ve seen in the past. This is a Jordan whose relationship to Gatsby is much more familiar and warm, much more akin to the friendship she forms with Nick. In fact, the queer-and-tired vibes that roll off several of the principals in this production are palpable.

Myrtle and Wilson (Matthew Amira) aren’t always played as effective foils for Daisy and Tom, but here? They unquestionably are. They do actually love each other in spite of the things they’ve done to hurt each other, and it’s a constant dance of daring each other, challenging each other. The most memorable duet in the entire show is between them, during Act II. The confrontation is positively electric. These are two people with deep, complicated history. Of all the couples in the show, they feel the most real, the most alive. It makes the loss of Myrtle so much more wrenching; she’s not just a plot device emblematic of the bad choices they’ve all been making. She’s not shallow or frivolous or anything like that. She’s a shrewd woman with complex motivations, and for the first time ever I find myself loving her and caring what happens to her. She’s thrust even further into the action in that one of her part time gigs is working as a maid at Gatsby’s parties, a conceit that works shockingly well and hastens the devastating consequences of her affair with Tom.

I’ve made mention of Meyer Wolfsheim’s (Adam Grupper) uniquely enhanced role previously, so I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on him again. This is a man who does, in fact, seem to give a shit about Jay above and beyond using him as a tool in his criminal empire. It’s not necessarily a healthy father-son dynamic, but Wolfsheim is usually played as ruthless, opportunistic, inhumanly calculating. Here, he’s a charming, but unquestionably dangerous man moved by a young soldier’s plight. He seems conflicted between his love for Jay and his need to have Jay continue to hold the party line within their business relationship. Wolfsheim is deeply conflicted about Jay in a way that I haven’t seen any Wolfsheim be played previously. And, as I mentioned earlier, the actor has a showstopper of a song and dance number. That may be the #1 “I wasn’t expecting that, but I’ll take it!” moment for me in this show. And I say “may be” only because the moment that truly stopped my heart, will stay with me until everything else fades from memory, is perhaps only understandable in the context of my engagement with the text of Gatsby as a writer of transformative works.

Daisy’s and Tom’s daughter, Pam Buchanan doesn’t always appear in adaptations because she’s a toddler. Even in the novel, she a throwaway mention plus a single scene near the end where the nanny brings her out to meet Jay and Nick. She’s most often left as a throwaway mention without even grave of the scene where she appears. The scene in the novel, however brief, is memorable—and has been captured in all its fragile beauty for the first time in this adaptation. Jay and Nick both pay bewildered, wondering attention to this kid when she’s brought out. Jay drops to his knees and takes her hand when she greets him while Nick looks on in a moment of singular focus on both of them. The child who plays Pam here has a spark, an expressiveness that made me choke up even though she’s only on stage for a few minutes, if that. The tableau is one in which you can feel the shock of reality, however brief, touch on these men—Daisy’s and Tom’s reckless actions may yet do harm to someone who’s barely even begun to live her life, but who is just conscious enough to be a participant in it. They recognize that they, like this child, are probably in for a word of ruin—and that they have let it go on for so long that there’s now nothing they can do about it. For me, the deepest tragedy was watching Nick and Jay throw off that moment of heartbroken, horrified recognition prompted by Pam and return to the parts they’d decided to play out until the moment one of their hearts stopped.

Speaking of grief, of Nick’s grief since he’s the one who loses so much: there is only one person who loses more, and that’s Mr. Gatz, Jay’s father. They preserve his arrival at the house when Nick is the only person who stays around to carry out Jay’s funeral and burial. And when he arrives, the visceral shock of seeing his dark skin, braids, and beaded elements of Native regalia in juxtaposition with his otherwise period-typical Western garb underscore the tragedy of what young Jay was running away from, of what he never quite succeeded in erasing from himself. The burial scene shows Nick reverently bringing several of Jay’s folded shirts from the house and handing them down into the grave to Mr. Gatz, who places them reverently as possessions to accompany his son into thereafter. The cultural ramifications are all at once understated and devastating. Nick has moments with each of Jay’s father figures that are among the most complex and moving in the show. The program does not make clear the name of the ensemble member who takes on this most memorable of all Mr. Gatz appearances, and this erasure in and of itself is both unfortunate and telling. This is a world that never belonged to the majority of those who inhabit it, and Nick realizes it with heartbroken clarity after having this final interaction. Even though he’s an outsider, he’s part of a world that has erased and betrayed the man he loved so much at every turn.

The closing number, “We Beat On,” felt like it needed something more, but it utilized the final line of the novel to a deeply moving effect. The lights go down suddenly as the last word is sung; it feels like the song is half finished. When the lights came up, Nick and Jay were center stage in each other’s embrace, just withdrawing from each other as the entire company transitioned into final bows. That’s how I’ll remember them, always: touching even when they’ve already lost each other, borne ceaselessly back into each other’s arms. If Nick is Orpheus, then I have no doubt that he, too, will tell this story again and again until someday, somewhere, something gives.

[writingjourney]

𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐚 𝐱 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

!!! this fic contains spoilers for RHRN, do not read on if you wish to remain spoiler-free!!!

It is an involuntary trust exercise. To give up what he built for half a decade, the legacy he took over, being forced to let it rest in the hands of someone else. Or: Copia is taking up his new position. It’s not an easy feat.

content: 1.8k words, gn!reader, angst, grief, hurt/comfort, some fluff and kisses, post!rhrn so spoilers, established relationship

Masterlist – Ao3 link

1 – White dust sheets cover the furniture like ghosts of a life left behind. The path forward is hidden underneath layers of insecurity and grief but as he packs up years of work in pre-used cardboard boxes it almost feels as though he cannot see the path at all.

His new office is just down the hall. It is a fast job. Two trips and his desk has become another ghost. One more trip and he has emptied out all personal belongings from the dusty shelves. The rest stays, not useful to him anymore in his new function.

It is an involuntary trust exercise. To give up what he built for half a decade, the legacy he took over, being forced to let it rest in the hands of someone else. Unlike his brothers he had no way to prepare who follows his footsteps and perhaps that is where the ache in his belly comes from – the uncertainty.

He cannot quite bring himself to unpack the boxes in his new office yet. But it is not his office anyway, Copia thinks. No, it is his mother’s office and he feels like an intruder placing his things on her desk. Her smell clings to the old fabrics, clings to him, a strong perfume that Copia has not been able to get out of his nose ever since he covered her body with yet another white sheet.

Yet another ghost.

It has not been long, he tells himself, a weak comfort. As he stands here with an old card she wrote him – Welcome Home, C! – he can hear the clicking of his mother’s shoes on the tiled floors like a faint echo that haunts the hallways of the Ministry. Everyone is busy preparing for this transitional period, mourning their Mother Superior, but now it is Copia who has to guide them, navigate them through this darkness.

He realises that he himself has footsteps to follow and that he is just as unprepared. A new era, for all of them.

“Love?”

He turns and his world lights up for a brief moment. You occupy the doorframe in a black mourning habit, the one all Siblings chose to wear in honour of his mother. Of course he finds that it suits you better than anyone else. But perhaps that is because he has felt the sturdy fabric against his wet cheeks so many times now that it means comfort, home.

“Do you still need help with the boxes?” you ask.

All he can do is shake his head. You approach and he wants to close the card, hide it away, not even sure why. You have seen the fallout, you have held him through the worst of it. Perhaps he is ashamed, in a way, that he cannot move on as fast as his new role demands of him.

“Was this from her?” you ask, nestling up to his side.

“Mhm.”

His hand is trembling lightly as you lay yours to rest on top of his. The swipe of your thumb against his bare wrist sends goosebumps down his spine and when you wrap the other arm around his waist his eyes are watering.

“Perhaps you can frame it, together with some photos,” you suggest.

He nods, leaning into your embrace as a solid rock forms in his throat. You hold him and he lets the silent tears run down his cheeks, gathering at the dip of his chin. Your thumb continues to draw slow crescents over his pulse. He can’t speak. He does not have to.

✦ ✧ ✦

2 – He is glued to the mirror.

You try not to fuss, he is nervous as is. It is first official day, after all.

“I didn’t know you had a new uniform,” you say with a lint roller in hand, joining him in the bedroom. The jacket is brand new, all black but unusual in its ornamentation, satin lapels that run from his neck towards his armpits. A clerical collar underneath sparkles against his Adam’s apple.

“I eh… splurged,” he says, cheeks dusted a bashful red.

He says it like he is wasteful, does it whenever he treats himself to something, but you also know he is wearing the same black winklepickers he wore as a Cardinal ten years ago, never replaces any pieces of clothing until he finds holes in the fabric, that he only bought new jackets when he could use them on stage to look his best for the audience. The suit is no different, it is as much a boost to his confidence as it is a display of his new status. A performance.

“It is a rather nice suit,” you note, running the lint roller down his back.

“Mhm.” He pauses, looks down at himself and tugs at the sleeves. “It is… unfamiliar.”

“You wear it well, Copia.”

He smiles and his confidence resurfaces. You find that he looks handsome in a completely new way. You have seen so many facets of him that you can tell he is beginning to mold himself into this role, even if he might not see it himself yet. In the mirror, a stranger is looking back at him through black-rimmed eyes but in time he will see himself again, a grown version.

“It is not all,” he says. “I… found something. In the desk drawer.”

He points to a velvety black box on the dresser. Inside, you find a beautiful ornament, two ruby brooches holding a bejewelled black grucifix, another ruby at the bottom. It is one of the most beautiful, elaborate pieces you have ever seen.

“A gift, I think.”

He looks uncertain when you glance up. But you have no doubt that it was meant for him, meant for today. You carefully take it out of the box, delicate as it looks it feels sturdy and well-crafted. One brooch to each lapel and the grucifix dangles over his heart. Light from the window catches in the gemstones, a prism splitting the ray into sparkles that reflect in the mirror, a spectacle of multicoloured beams flickering across the walls.

Copia watches the dancing lights, mesmerised, until the sun hides behind a cloud and the room is gloomy yet again. When you focus back on him a tear pearls from his left eye, running down his cheek and leaving a black streak in its wake. The piece is more than jewels – it is a memory, a promise, a token of trust.

“It is beautiful,” you say. “As are you, Copia. So beautiful.”

His smile is tinged with sadness but there is hope, now, too. You smooth out his jacket, admiring him for a moment, unconcealed, and he must see it in your eyes because the smile shifts until one corner of his mouth pulls into a lighthearted smirk.

“Do I get a kiss?” he asks.

You grab the satin and pull him close. One day you are going to peel him out of this jacket and it won’t feel heavy anymore.

✦ ✧ ✦

3 – You gently wipe at his under-eye. The black smudge is persistent and you stop when the skin turns red. Copia’s eyes are closed even as he holds you. Wrapped around you he feels hot to the touch, almost feverish. He has gone non-verbal since he came home and you give him the space he needs, soft touches, rest and quiet.

The tension of the day still sits in his muscles, you can feel the knots when you run your hands over his back. The hot shower did not help, nor did the pasta he barely touched for dinner. He did well, everyone said this to you today. Whether he feels it you are not so certain.

You lean in and press a kiss to the round tip of his freckled nose. He blinks at you through tired, reddened eyes, lips curving into a lazy half-smile. His hand tightens at your waist, slides underneath your shirt to feel your skin. He’s your whole world molded into the shape of a man. Love, stored in the crinkles of his crow’s feet, every line on his face, in the brushstrokes of grey at his temples, an endless supply.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper, trailing the curve of his spine.

His eyes open and you feel guilty for disrupting his peace. But then he pulls you ever closer, squishing, the softness of your bodies mingling with a comforting warmth.

“I don’t…” He stops, brows pulled together. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“I have no doubt that you can.” You study his features, move your hand to trace the lines of tension and smooth them out. He lets you, eyelids fluttering at the soft touch. “Every day from now on will be easier, Copia. My baby, I have such confidence in you. Unshakable.”

The words stir something in him. Some wetness gathers in his odd eyes but he blinks it away. You have to fight your own tears, good tears, for how far he has come. Then Copia nods, nods again but with more conviction. A deep exhale through his nose and he swallows the doubts away.

“You are right, always,” he says. “I was Papa Emeritus IV, eh? I did that.”

“You did.” A smile, proud and amused. “And now you are Frater Imperator.”

“Mhm, I am.”

“You are the head of this church, they are still your flock, adoring you, admiring you, trusting you. None of this has changed.” You cradle his face in both hands, a firm press of your thumbs to his cheekbones. “And you are still the man I love.”

“I am?”

“Forever.”

He closes the gap himself, a grateful kiss, seeking. You try to give him what he needs, firm and soft kisses, hands roaming, legs entangles. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip, deeper still until all air escapes you and a dizzy fog fills your head. He is all you know, all you want for the rest of this life you live together.

The kisses slow down, not any less deep, and he cradles your head, keeping you pressed together. There is some need building, a languid wave that fades out in ripples. You feel him stir against your leg but he is not quite here with you, not entirely, and it subsides after a moment.

He breaks away with a heavy sigh, keeps his eyes closed.

“Perhaps not tonight,” you say, stroking his hair.

He nods and rests his forehead against yours. His breath tickles your nose, the embrace tighter than before. It feels easier now, somehow, and you can picture it so clearly. The future, him, and even in your head the world is quiet as you hold him close.

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed – kudos, comments, rbs etc are as always much appreciated ♡

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[nthspecialll]

Reverend vs Sister

I will always prefer Reverend's goodbye scene more than Sister Calderon's (both high honor). Sister's scene definitely has some emotional and sad parts, such as Arthur admitting his fright, making it good in its own way, but Reverends feels more personal because he actually understands.

Sister does not know Arthur, she doesn't know about his life, she doesn't know about his situation, she knows that he is a crook because he admits it but she only sees the good sides, she doesn't know the extent of what he has done so she gets a screwed impression on him. She tells him "you are a good man Arthur Morgan" but he isn't, that is a glorified image of him that has always itched me the wrong way because those last few months of helping does not right the decades of bad he has done.

Also the Sister does not know everything that is going on, she thinks he is just sick and wants to redeem himself for what he has done before he dies. She doesn't know about Dutch and the internal conflict that Arthur has with himself and his loyalty which is why her advice "why don't you help someone," doesn't really work.

If Arthur had just been sick and not had everything in camp going on, the advice to help would have been good, but it does not help with everything which is what is taking a massive part of his his struggles.

A lot of the time when they are talking, it doesn't feel like she is really listening to him and replying to him as the person he is but rather like any other. Now what I mean by that is a lot of what she says can be said to a lot of people, examples: "we have all lived bad lives," "you are a good man," "why don't you help someone," it doesn't fit with him really, it fits more with a local farmer who feels he is sinning for doubting the existence of god, it doesn't sound like an outlaw with hundreds of bodies on his consciousness.

It is by no means her fault not knowing everything going on as he didnt tell her but it still changes the impact.

Reverend on the other hand, he knows Arthur, he has known Arthur for years, most likely a decade or more, he has seen Arthur for everything he is in every state of his life, he has seen a father, he has seen a crook, a caretaker, a murderer, a robber, a savior.

He has seen it all and every side, and he has seen Arthur grow, especially in those last months, he is right when he says "you are not a good man, but you are not all bad either," because that is the truth and Reverend doesn't try to sugar coat it. He knows Arthur is not a good man, he has ruined lives, he has taken lives, he had robbed people blind and broken families, but he is better than some others who does the same, he cares for the gang, he goes out his way to help and does what he can, he sees Arthur.

Reverend also knows everything, he knows Arthur is sick, he has seen everything going on in camp, he knows how bad it is, he knows how conflicted Arthur is between supporting Dutch and seeing that Dutch is crazy. It hits so much harder when Reverend says "but you do see, you just can't admit it to yourself," because that is what Arthur is feeling, Arthur does know Dutch is gone but he doesn't want to see it.

Reverend's advice "you will do what is right, I know it, save who you can and let the rest rot," is also good advice. He knows Arthur would save them all if he could, but he can't, this is not a situation where everyone can be saved, so instead of giving false hope he gives advice Arthur can actually follow and gain something from.

Reverend also understands what Arthur is going through, he might never have been a murderer, but he has been down a path Sister hasn't. He has lost his faith, he has gambled, drunken and been high on who knows what, he understands the self-hatred Arthur has for doing all these bad things, but he pulled through and he is now seeing Arthur go through the same thing. He understands the wish for redemption but also how hard it is.

His talk with Arthur is personal, it applies to his situation and not the farmer down the road doubting god.

Now Arthur is not as emotional with Reverend because he does have a reputation to keep, but I am sure he gained more from it.

[bobosbillionsknives]

i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Murder Sibling Tuu

🐱

So concept

Yuu is the eldest and comes from a HUGE family with lots of siblings that are part of criminal legacy. Literally all of them are some sort of mafia boss, assassin, drug lord, or bank robber except for Yuu.

This isn't because Yuu hates it, nope its just not their thing. Their little siblings always go to Yuu for ideas on their next murder/heist/ect and they always give the best advice ever despite not being a criminal.

When they get isekaied, they didn't know that their family also came with until its too late.

Let's say they're dating Floyd since that was the original context. Under cut cause length

It's Vargas camp and as things come to a close there's another attack, the masked person overpowers Vargas and locks onto a group.of Yuus friends, chasing the first Years, Riddle, Malleus, Jade and Floyd.

The others scatter, just to get stuck in (non lethal) traps to be picked off later. The killer is smart and though Malleus is powerful he is outwitted when he caught in magic resistant trap— this damn killer was PLANNING it.

Floyd and the group fight back. But they are all beat up pretty bad, thankfully, there is no stab marks as the psychopath seems to be dragging this out for their enjoyment.

As they kick Floyd onto the ground as they spill the first drop of blood of the night as the killer slashes them and leaves a "superficial", but concerning wound on Floyds abdomen.

Jade screams out at his brother in horror, show more emotion than he ever has in this damn life, despite where he's trapped, he risks blot and shoots out a simple spell at the killers head just for them to dodge.

"You want to see my face that badly?" The voice was filled with a sickeningly honeyed tone of amusement. "I guess that's fair since I intend to kill you... may as well let you see who killed you."

"You wont get away with this!" Sebek shrieks. The killer takes off the mask just to see... Yuu?

"Yuu? No...nonono not my shrimpy... why?! Why would you—"

"Wait wait wait. Did you say Yuu? How the fuck do you know that name?" The killer asks but something was off, this wasn't yuus voice.

Just then Yuu comes out and slide in front of Floyd protectively, ready to fight before freezing.

"TUU?!"

"Yuu?! Oh God, oh shit. Don't tell me these are your friends..."

"You stabbed my fucking boyfriend!"

"Fuck! Sorry I didn't know— oh geez...." Tuu facepalms. "Hold on, I actually have a few healing potions..."

"Um... can you explain???" Riddle wheeze.

"Everyone this one of my my Octuplets, Tuu."

"OCTUPLET??" Sebek shrieks.

"Yeah that's not even all my siblings either, don't ask I lost count"

"Damn I'm sorry about that everyone, I would have never attacked if I knew Yuu was here. But dammit, I had it all planned out and everything! I would kill off some of you and leave your bodies out so that others would warn of this place and bam! A buncha idiots would explore and I get to practice my assassinations and murder techniques! Can't believe I wasted all that time though now....".

"Wait, Yuu why aren't you surprised?" Ace gawks

"Oh big sibling Yuu over here is weird. Literally everyone in our family's a murderer EXCEPT yuu which is suprising since they always have the best ideas for maiming!" Tuu giggles

"Wait... if your here does that mean—" a new voice interrupts Yuu

"Sort of! I assume our entire family is out in this new world but we haven't all been able to find each other. Thankfully, me and Tuu happened to be summoned together!"

"Who the fuck is that?!" Jack barks

"That's Kyu." Kyu stands proudly in their formal attire that's decades old as they twirl a cigar.

"Why didn't you reach out to me? I know Tuu is to busy murdering things but I know for a fact you knew where I was. Im the oldest! You report to me!" yuu scolds

"You're older by 10 minutes." Tuu interrupts as they pour the potion on Floyd.

"Shut up!"

Kyu shrugs. "I'm building a criminal empire."

"What" Deuce blinks.

"I said im building a criminal empire. I was the leader of several mafias and other organized gangs back in my world and now its back to square one! I need my underlings I'm not just gonna light my own cigars now, cmon!"

"That sounds like Kyu alright..." Yuu sighs.

"Plus then I'll be able to magically enroll our whole family into NRC just with a little blackmail as we learn about this world!"

"Crowleys pathetic you don't need a criminal empire you just need 5 dollars" Epel sighs.

"Perhaps." Kyuu shrugs again and takes a puff. "But having an interdimensional drug empire once we find away home is an opportunity I must not let pass by. Speaking of which, give me your phone, Yuu."

Yuu hands over the phone to Kyu. "Now you should be able to contact us and I'll keep you updated once I find the whole family. Oh yeah, be sure to send pictures of all your friends to the group chat along with their full names so we know who not to kill, maim, target—"

"I get it." Yuu sighs before helping Floyd up. "I love you guys but damn!"

"You love th—" Ace covers Deuces mouth.

"Sorry Floydie!" Tuu chuckles cuteley. "I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us! Oh just forget about this encounter! I can't wait to meet you when Yuu brings you home for dinner!" Tuu waves

"Eat shit." Floyd huffs. "Awe you're adorable, just take good care of Yuu! If you break their heart ill slaughter you like the damn animal you are!~" tuu practially sings

"Yuu can do that on their own." "But they won't that's the issue"

Tuu sighs again. "Now im gonna have to release everyone from their traps now ueueueu... there were so many boys with such wearable skin! I already had the suit planned out for when I got them!" Tuu mopes.

"Right just tell our parents—" "bosses" "tell our bosses i love them and to please take it easy with all the murder please."

"No promises Yuuie!~ bye bye!~" Tuu cackles and they run off into the woods and Ryu dissapears

The rest of the night is Yuu profusely apologizing and having to skirt around questions for legal reasons

And also

"Why are all of you named Yuu or something similar"

"My bosses named the second oldest Tuu. Do you really think they're good with names?"

[icarusallusion]

On the kick of relationships I feel were a bit wasted on lack of expansion and fandom media literacy.

Volgin and Ocelot. While they definitely do not stem from the same problems as Kazuhira and Quiet like I talked about in my other post, I still feel they aren't explained enough, hours of exposition but nothing quite explains why they are the way they are. Part of that leads to their allure as characters, the years of character building we don't hear or see, but their subtle relationship really falls flat on a lot of gamers I've found.

Into them themselves before I get into all the meta stuff.

Volgin doesn't waste time torturing and shocking people who minorly inconvenience him. He kills Granin pretty much just for fun, shocks and sexually tortures EVA, tortures his own men from the simplest lack of respect, and nukes a facility which kills multiple of his countrymen. All of these disturb Ocelot, but he never says much about it until it comes at the pain of Russia itself. (i.e killing Granin who benefits them and Russia in turn, not truly caring about torture when he learns its for a spy, feeling bad ahout killing Russian men even those who go agaisnt the GRU, and the nukes destroying Russian soil and countrymen)

However any time Ocelot calls Volgin out on his sadistic and cruel behaviors, Volgin never says anything truly negative back to Ocelot. For a man who does awful things to everyone else the way he hesitates to hurt Ocelot whether through physical or verbal means was always interesting to me.

Especially this interaction after Granin is killed by Volgin.

Volgin speaks down on Ocelot, however this isn't done in an insulting way, it's simply the truth in Volgin's eyes. Volgin raised Ocelot since he was 16, Ocelot is still decades younger than him, and is still ranks below.

To Volgin, Ocelot needs to be weeded out himself, of the care he deeply holds for Russia. Volgin undermines Ocelot and how he feels towards the war and cruelty surrounding it, that his feelings have no place within the war and that they're a threat to their organization. While on the surface it refers to how Ocelot is too hot headed and jumps the gun, that he won't be able to focus if he is always judging others. On a deeper level, it read to me as Volgin cares for Ocelot. That the judgement from Ocelot doesn't just break the GRU's unity, it breaks Volgin's unity with Ocelot.

Volgin doesn't want to get rid of Ocelot, that much is evident when in the final boss battle when this is their exchange.

Ocelot shoots at Volgin, disobeys orders, disrespects his title, etc, etc. Despite this, they have the same back and forth they always do. Volgin simply keeps ordering him until Ocelot just leaves. It comes across as Volgin trusts Ocelot to find the bombs, either that or views him too inferior to do any real damage on his own devices. All and all, Volgin doesn't care about Ocelot's disrespect towards him when if it was anyone else they'd be dead.

Speaking of the boss fight, it really added more to their relationship.

THIS ESPECIALLY

Volgin comes so close to shocking Ocelot, but he can't, simply just a warning. Then in the next scene, Ocelot looks to Volgin for reassurance on his aid to Snake. This back and forth always ends each word from Ocelot with an obedience to Volgin.

The fact Volgin and Ocelot have whole conversations with each other from body language alone and the way Ocelot himself relies on body language really is such a good detail

The way they simply talk with one another also always felt like a parent to a child to me. (Maybe a very bad parent but still) In a way, they are a very fucked up found family.

Ocelot kidnapped by The Philosophers as a baby, sent to the GRU to be a spy at 16 and being guided through the rest of his years up until the end of teenage life by Volgin who he knew he'd have to betray at some point. Volgin who was raised by a member of The Philosopher.

While family has never been something they have been expanded on with, I think that speaks more. Neither Ocelot nor Volgin have any semblance with family. They are each other's only sense of that. Through the traitorous attitude of Ocelot and through the hedonist sadism fogging Volgin, they are the only people who get each other but ultimately are not fond of each other in most scenarios. They serve as a twisted parallel of The Boss and Snake to me.

Which sucks even more when The Boss is literally Ocelot's real mom, don't know how to thread that in either, but it's just ughhh literally custody battle between The Boss and Volgin every time they're on screen together with Ocelot

I could talk forever and ever about the analysis between them, but onto the meta. My issues are not within any prejudice or forced characterization like Kaz and Quiet. However, I feel they come from the writers thinking they were not interesting enough. They don't put a lot of their relationship on the surface and by the time players realize their relationship the game is over. MGS is really a game that always deserves a second playthrough to fully grasp its ideas and characters.

Volgin and Ocelot didn't grasp a lot of people because they weren't pushed and pushed like EVA and Snake. They were an afterthought in the game while I think they really could've been given more, considering how much of Volgin affects Ocelot. Ocelot liked torture because of how Volgin raised him, Ocelot has a complicated relationship with Russia partially due to Volgin, and Ocelot's relationships with people are forever shadowed by how Volgin raised him.

I think they really could've been something so interesting, but so much of it was swept under the rug by other relationships and topics within the game. I don't know, tell me what you think this is mostly spit balling about two characters I really like. 🐆

[kaisukii1]

BTD HellRings AU

I remember making a AU based off my dreams a while back, maybe a month or two ago but it never got that much attention and I started to loose interest in it. I've only made 9 designs, only 7 I were satisfied with. Though, I wish to show you what I've made in hopes for it to interest me again. This will be a long rant/lore dump so be ready !!

Just for some background, the dream was about me being dragged into hell by Rire and going through each ring of hell to get out of there. I encountered some of the BTD characters which were shown in a different design (?) But, they were familiar enough to be recognizable. Now, on the rant…

"Each character is either a demon/sinner or angel and each have a different goal and purpose. They were taken forcefully by RIRE, why? Maybe for entertainment. However, there is a way out… but its not easy."

RIRE

"Lucien Rire in this AU is quite mysterious and secretive, sadistic as well. He is the king of hell and has the power to exit and enter the mortal realm and hell. He targets anyone of interest to drag them into hell. He does makes deals with humans but it's quite rare. Why does he torment and drag people into hell? You’ll never know. Maybe he has a goal, maybe he wants to prove something, maybe it’s all for entertainment… its unknown! He’s grown a interesting relationship with strade. They made a deal centuries ago. Strade could be considered his right-hand man. Rire is sometimes nicknamed “The father”  by sinners and called Sir.Lucien by Strade. Can be found mainly wandering the mortal realm. He checks up on Strade on time to time in hell."

STRADE

"Strade in this AU is mysterious and secretive and just as sadistic as rire. He has the ability to roam around each and all rings of hell freely and without problem(unlike most souls/sinners) He can teleport, appearing and disappearing. It’s rare to see a glance of him, blink and he's gone. He’s more like a ghoul rather than a sinner. He made a unknown deal with Rire when he was alive, placing him at a high rank as a demon. He has grown a interest in ren, seeing himself in his wrath. His opinion on rire is unknown but he respects him. He is found everywhere, making sure everyone is “in order”(AKA. Everyone is suffering). In his human years, he was a serial killer. When he died, he immediately became the rank he is now. now watching over his past pet/captor, Ren."

REN

"Ren Hana in this AU is quite cold and distant. His main goal is to escape hell as he doesn’t believe he belongs there. He failed to escaped time after time for decades. Most of his body is scattered with scars and other bruises from endless climbing and fighting. Each day he gets more determined. Strade has taken appreciation for his determination and finds it entertaining. Strade watches him more often than the other sinners, knowing that ren could never escape no matter how hard he tries. Ren –a pridesinner (also committing greed, violence, etc) can be found at the first ring, limbo, trying desperately to escape. In his mortal years, he was kidnapped by strade and treated like a pet. He formed a unhealthy bond with strade. When strade was killed by one of his captors, rire took strade’s soul to hell. After that, ren replaced strade, becoming him in a way. But, his main goal was to find someone to replace strade for his own comfort but he failed to do so. Just like strade, he was killed by one of his own captors. He woke up in hell, angered. He didn’t believe he should be in hell after suffering enough already. Strade was out of the picture now after knowing he could possibly escape. Now, that’s all he does, try to escape knowing that the last someone did was decades if not centuries ago."

CAIN

"Cain in this AU follows a little part of the story of Cain in the game, he kills both Adam and Abel turning him into a fallen angel and is forced down to the bottom of hell, the last ring: treachery. He breaks out of the ice and with his ragged, frozen and bleeding wings he makes his way out of hell. The gods, finding out, attempts to cast his back down to hell. Cain however, hides down in tartarus where he now lives. Angels were sent to find and permanently discard Cain. Cain asked the king of hell, rire, to help him kill the angels(wanting to start a war). Rire however, didn’t want to and fought him. Cain angered, retreats back to tatarus for hiding. After hiding out for a while, he goes into the mortal realm and finds Sano and Akira struggling to stay alive. He takes them in and raises them until they were able to live by themselves. He sets a goal to learn about the sinners, manipulating them to help get revenge on both rire and the heavens. He uses sano(with the help of akira) to achieve this goal after Seeing that Sano had a intimate relationship with Rire. Once they both were caught, he didn’t try to save them from the fear of the gods and or angels finding him. He was selfish, his goal being the only thing on his mind."

ASHE

"Ashe in this AU is one of the angels sent from god to find Cain. After encountering cain and attempting to annihilate him, he fails and Cain rips off the bottom parts of his wings(Aka. Clipping them?). Now, unable to fly and having a hatred for cain(and probably being scared of him), the gods sent him to watch over the veil(A place between the mortal realm and the gates of heaven) The veil is the place where souls go to after they die. It’s a place for them to feel at peace before facing their judgment up at the gates. Ashe’s new duty was to simply watch over the souls and make sure they feel at peace."

SANO

"Sano in this AU started off as a spy for Cain, he would go through each ring, takings notes of what happened to each sinner in that specific ring, what things or events that happened out of the ordinary and go back to cain for his notes with the help of his brother, Akira Kojima. Millenniums ago, Sano was in school, working to become a doctor. He also had a secret of kidnapping people and doing various experiments on them for both sadistic pleasure and learning what the human body could bare. Sano had a intimate relationship with Rire when Sano was in the mortal realm. However, this was against his adoptive father, Cain. Both Rire and Cain hated each-other. Rire fell in love with the human sano, asking him to join him in hell in which Sano agreed only if his brother came along too. He was able to shapeshift into a naga along with his brother. When Cain found out, he took advantage of that. He manipulated sano to help him figure out Rire's goals and what the sinners went through. Sano didn’t want to disappoint him, so he betrayed his lover. It didn’t take long for Strade to come along and figure out Sano’s actions. Strade had seduced Sano by shapeshifting into a incubus into telling him what he’d been doing. Later, strade reported back to rire. Rire felt betrayed and condemned sano and akira to be placed in different rings and for akira to never be able to exit the violence ring. Sano’s only two rings he could enter was fraud(eighth ring) and limbo(First ring). Cain couldn’t and never tried to save sano and discarded him. Strade was told to keep a close eye on him. Sano now, without Rire, Akira, or anyone grew helpless. He attempted to escape hell at the first ring a couple of times and failed all. He stopped trying. Strade, seeing Sano’s hopelessness was entertaining at first, but he quickly grew bored and stopped paying attention to him. Sano, once a high and almost royal ranked demon now leveled down to a low ranked sinner."

AKIRA

"Akira in this AU was wild in the mortal realm. He’d go to lots of parties and drink a lot. He killed and tortured a small amount of people but not as much as his brother, sano. Akira was told by sano that they would move to hell as high ranking demons. Akira was a little hesitant before agreeing on coming along. He could turn into a naga, just like his brother. He tortured low ranking sinners for fun until sano reported to akira about what their adoptive father, Cain asked of them. Akira, wanting to help his brother, agreed to help him. Once Sano was caught by Strade and was told off by Rire, he was casted down to be trapped in the seventh ring of hell, violence, which he was beaten up by other sinners and having to endure the consequences of both his and his brother’s actions."

—

Wow, that was a lot wasn't it? I also have a design for Damion and Samael, but I am not satisfied with them and they aren't too much of a major deal on the story. I would love for people to ask questions about them and ask for any other characters if they WERE in the story as well …

[octochick]

i think its time for me to come back to my origins:

shitty spiderbit villain isekai au

Cw suicide idealization? Kinda? Nothing too realistic or explicit but there is a little bit

First, there's Cellbit, the 'villain'

-Was tricked by Mike into watching shitty fantasy harem anime #1413 (Mike doesn't like this type of anime, but he does like to see Cellbit suffering)

-And suffer he did, he was almost pulling his hair out when the first episode ended, and really did it when the opening spoiled the little mystery there was in the show

-He went to sleep balding mad and woke up in the body of 5 years old Farael, the prince of Embersland Kingdom, brother of Bagriela whom he is fighting for the crown

-There's also this voice in his head telling him that he needs to follow the plot and shit and he's just like- what the fuck do you even mean by this, I wanna out, get me the fuck outta here

-'Follow the plot and it may be considered to send you back', it says, and Cellbit obviously argues with it because 'Don't fuck with me like that, get me out of here right now' and 'No sorry can't do', 'What I have to do to go back? Send me back right now' and it's this back and forth until the system is tired enough to just say 'Die by the hero's blade and we'll send you back' and Cellbit's like 'Ok fine'

-It's not really fine because it will take at least two decades before he will be able to be killed by the hero, but it's something more concrete than a simple possibility so he will take it

-So he starts preparing to be a villain, quite successfully if you may allow him. And the worst part is that he really ends up as a 'good' villain, winning the crown from Bagi, organizing an army, making evil plans full of twists and turns, neglecting the people, all in all he is a decent villain for a bellow average harem anime

-(Btw, there are some reason why a 'normal' person from the real world ends up being so good at being evil, that includes: he's already something of a freak, he thinks this is just a shitty harem anime, he never had any contact with other people that aren't nobility or servants except for a single instance. He really wants to go back, he thinks nothing in this world matters, and it's part of his bucket list so...)

And then there's Roier, the 'hero'

-He's just a peasant boy living in a frontier town, abandoned by his father, mother died during childbirth, raised by his old abuelo

-He does odd jobs around town and helps in the adventurers guild, going in a small quest here and there, nothing too big despite him being quite good with a sword

-That is, until Bagis busts into the guild asking for help to defeat her brother before he does even worse than he already did, of course for a handsome reward

-But everyone there knows how much of a tyrant King Farael is, and how they'll end up with their salted heads hung in the public square if they do anything against him so no one accepts it

-Roier comes in late, and Bagi begs for him to help her... he really doesn't want to, but money's tight and he really needs it because abuelo has been getting worse recently and there's not a lot else he can do (Saving the kingdom is just a bonus for him)

-And so they go out on this quest, they recruit some other people during the way (In the original anime they're all woman and part of his 'harem') and plan how to end King Farael's reign of terror once and for all

-Syke! Cellbit kidnaps Roier when they're near the capital and brings him to a 'dinner' to monologue to him about his evil plans (It's to motivate Roier to really kill him, he can't be imprisoned or exiled, he has to be killed)

-Anyways they get a little frisky and end up in a knife fight where Roier cuts Cellbit's mask in half and oh shit! This guy, tyrant King Farael is Roier's first crush! He knows he is, his blue eyes are the same as he remembers!

-The rescue party arrives at the castle and saves Roier, while he is slightly confused about the villain

-It's not even about the puppy crush he had on him, even if it did help him think about the situation from a slightly different angle, it's more like how his evil plan now sounds like a very elaborated suicide attempt

-Well, if this is what the villain wants, then he won't let him have it!

-Meanwhile Cellbit is surprised Roier remembers him, but is otherwise happy because he thinks now Roier has even more reasons to kill him

... and that's all I have until now

[satancopilotsmytardis]

⭐️✨🌟⭐️✨I want to hear about something you’ve been dying to talk about😊

🥺👉👈 I want to talk about chapter 2 of Prince's Consort, pls

I love this chapter so much, and I love this story so much. I have really been getting into the weeds of worldbuilding for this one as much if not more than when I started Changing Currents.

One of my favorite things to think about when designing a culture is what the fashion would look like and why people would be dressed like that, so in chapter two I really got to start showcasing that with their clothing and how it changes for festivals. In Ennonata, and specifically in Shigaraki's kingdom, fashion is modeled after armor and fighting, but it's not meant to be functional. In demonic society, the average person, and even the average warrior doesn't wear armor to protect themselves from being hurt because if they die, they will come back, so what's the point? And if non-fatal wounds can be healed in a matter of seconds with magic, why bother at all? It creates a sharp distinction between how demons consider the world and combat over mortals. I also had fun then showcasing that attitude in concert with the fact that the guards do wear real, functional armor, with the implication behind that being their conflicts could be more drawn out and they may not have access to healers during them, making it more important for them over everyone else, including their Prince, to be able to endure more.

And the fabric!!! Oh, I love the fabric so much. So in most hot environments, especially deserts, clothes are made to cover up the body to keep sun exposer lower, but the clothing is made with lighter materials and fibers that can wick away sweat and promote its evaporation to help keep people cool. But in Ennonata, because it is just ambiently warm from the temperature of the burning souls, there is no sun, and demons don't sweat nearly as much as mortals do, their clothing is designed to be decorative and flowy. It is open so that they can be cooler from any breeze, and it reflects a culture that has a very limited concept of modesty.

And the way that clothing and jewelry are used to denote occupation makes me fucking insane!!!! Pets get piercings on their genitals! Outside of just blatantly having them wearing cuffs or chains which could be mistaken as the marks of a slave, this makes it impossible for them to ever escape because they are as good as branded (slaves are the ones who actually get branded in this society), because anyone who ever sees them naked will know what they were supposed to be! The Prince barely bothers with jewelry, but all of the other higher up demons drape themselves in symbols of wealth and luxury to showcase how much power they have. This decadence from those kinds of demons is meant to parallel how "new money" people tend to go for flash while "old money" people go for more classic designs of an extremely high quality. But!! There's another layer of it for Shigaraki because he is on the "new money" side of this equation! He started off enslaved as a gladiator, and rose to the position of Prince! He should be, more than anyone, trying to showcase how powerful and wealthy he is now, but he doesn't!! What does that say about him as a character? I can't wait to get into it!!!

Uh, yeah, I have a lot of feelings about Prince's Consort, sorry for exploding about them

[mdhwrites]

My Biggest Problem With TOH Fight Scenes

So first I just want to say that for as much as people laud TOH's animations... Its fights aren't good. I'm not saying they're poorly animated but as fights, they're not interesting. There's rarely much in the way of back and forth, the choreography is just okay, it usually is really floaty and slow, in part due to how TOH does its bigger budget animation. Some of the ones counted as fight scenes really shouldn't as Grom would be the best fight scene of the series... But it's not. It's really just a small dance routine without the opponent involved and then a super move and that's not a fight. It's much closer to a curbstomp if anything, especially with how powerless the leads are before then.

But all of those explain why TOH's fights are kind of lackluster and how that fuels a general feeling that TOH just isn't a very good adventure series which is kind of rough for an adventure/comedy series. No, my biggest issue, and part of why Covention is easily the best fight in the series to me (Eclipse Lake is second and the rest are... There at best) is a lack of personality to these fights. A lack of a personal touch that should make them more memorable. Feel like who is fighting matters beyond skill set, especially in a show with magic.

But what do I mean by personality? After all, in a fight your goal is to beat the opponent. Where is the room for personality? If you're asking that then WOW where have you been to have missed the Superhero boom of the last decade? Then again, plenty of those movies fuck this up too. It's effectively how you make sure Spider-Man punching someone feels different from Captain America punching someone. Through body language, how they treat the fight, the creative ways they get the opening to land their blow, etc. like that. More straightforward thinking people will use more brute force while smarter characters will use their environment to their advantage and silly characters may use jokes and the like both for amusement and distraction. How brutal are they in taking down their opponent, do they hold back, etc. etc.

In TOH though... Everyone just brute forces everything with maximum power all the time. My go to example of this is how smart, studious Amity's go to weapon in S2, all of S2, was an abomination fist. Despite having the second most versatile and expressive type of magic in the show, Amity decides to always go for just punching a bitch or literally throwing a fist (or she's not actually really a part of the fight). Why? What part of her character, besides the asinine element of her once being a Grudgby Captain, would make you expect her to be some sort of brawler? To want to get up close and personal with her very own fists? She should be summoning minions, setting traps, ensnaring and debilitating her opponents... And instead she keeps punching people or using the gauntlet as a projectile which isn't even used as a joke for "I cast Fist" which would at least lightly play into her being a nerd even if that's much more a line that should come from Luz.

But even worse is Gus actually. He's not a part of a lot of fights but when he is, how does he use illusions? Literally the most expressive magic there is in almost any setting? The coven that does magic with pizzazz as he puts it? With basic ass clones that aren't even in silly poses or costumes, darkness and mind jacking. The one time he actually makes an illusion to use as an illusion in a fight is very tenuously Looking Glass Ruins. Even then, it's not as a distraction or the like or even coded to who Gus is as a character for the most part. It's more of a trap/set piece than any sort of fight and the level of horror it goes to feels honestly out of character for the most light hearted comedy character in the show. Otherwise though... Where's the pizzazz?

It makes most of the fights in TOH just blend together. It makes the magic feel like everyone is just using energy blasts and vines. I mean even Willow always goes for the most aggressive, brutal approach she can to put down a threat with as many vines as possible. Why? Why does she behave, even when calm, much closer to how you might expect Hunter to since he's actually trained to kill and fight?

None of this is helped either by the fact that I think the first monster Belos fight is really the only one that actually has talking during the fight. Every other fight, the characters entirely shut up until there's a pause in the action. That may be more realistic but it still implies that none of these characters are afraid or panicking or coordinating or anything like that. Even during the ones I can genuinely recall, it's always the villain who speaks. The heroes are too busy just trying to destroy the threat to say anything. It makes how short the fights are a weird sort of blessing because hey! Now the actual story and characterization can continue instead of having a pointless, fluff piece of a fight going on.

So now they don't just feel floaty, they don't have narrative weight either. None of them are a clash of ideas because that only happens once there's a victor. That's less interesting than letting what's being said also follow the eb and flow of the combat itself. It's probably part of why TOH's longest fight is like a minute long.

Then again, if I want good fights then I could just go watch Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because they have throwaway fights that are better animated, better choreographed and have better personality than either TOH's or Amphibia's best fights. Like seriously: If you've seen clips of that show's big ticket fights, I promise you that it's not a once a season occurrence that they have a great fight. That show is incredible with how silly and fun and GORGEOUS its animation is and I still want to know how the fuck they did that on a tv show budget.

But TOH's fights? I can absolutely see how they were done with a tv show's budget and they don't lean into character or creativity enough to make up for that.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[inconspicious-random-thoughts]

My theory is that Mimzy was once Alastor’s best friend, he maybe even thought he might have been in love with her at one point, in that manner aroace people who don’t know they’re aroace often do, that she was then sacrificed by this cult, and that Alastor had them infiltrated and taken down every member of that cult over decades, losing more and more of himself each time as those he killed grew less and less directly connected to the crime, “sorry you just got in my way, maybe I enjoy it just a little bit does that make me insane”, but that in the act of doing so, that contradiction of righteous intent and pure depravity, along with whatever ritual for power the cult had initially started upon, let’s say in honour of Roo (the root of all evil in the Hellaverse, a character yet to be introduced), and that on Alastor’s eventual death, he then found himself in Hell all-powerful, and set about bringing down those Overlords beneath his power continuing this moral code, until he hit a wall, finding himself having ended all Overlords less powerful than him / otherwise came to his senses on meeting Mimzy again and finding her to have gone to hell, recognising that “weren’t you an old pal of mine” and really nothing more and deciding mere power, entertainment is all he now desires. But that still, out of obligation, that he must kill Lucifer, the Devil, for a sense of completion, while still being allowed to exist himself afterward. Which leads to whatever deal he ended up trapped in seven years before the events of the series, and him getting Charlie to make a deal with him to “harm no one” at a certain point in the future: to ensure that when the time comes that he will be able to kill Lucifer, and the one person able to stop him won’t be able to. To really make Alastor a true Exterminator, more measured, the embodiment of how the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

My first message on this blog! Everyone feel free to do so. I be happy to heart thoughts or possibly give opinions or disscussion.

That's interesting. It keep overlooking the concept of cults when I theorize. I just slips my mind its a thing. I wrote something about Vox and someone mention him being a cult leader, and I have to admit....it makes sense. He fits cult leader material perfectly. The charisma, the hypnotism. "Trust us..." Which, would an added layer to their rivalry of Vox recognized Alastor as the 'notorious cult member killer' from decades before his time to fit your theory.

I personally headcanon the reason he was so powerful when he fell was voodoo. I haven't done a 30 minute research for me to flush it out tho. But based off my very poor memory of Disney the princess and the frog...Alastor was into Voodoo while alive.

Been mention through the show, "His voodoo magic." And maybe, his voodoo aided him to be a successful serial killer. Basing Dr. Facilier to Alastor, (remember my memories are sketchy) and my non existent knowledge of voodoo,he sold his soul already to someone in Hell while he was alive to perform voodoo, and his body count counted to the demon he sold his soul to power. Aware but not fully digested the weight of that action and what it truly entailed to sell his soul. That Hell is forever. So when he died, his master pretty much granted him immense power for a job well done as well treat him like a lieutenant type of underling. Every time Alastor increase his power, it increase his master. He nearly has free range do whatever he wants but he still has commands to follow.

I think that's why Charlies dream seem so laughable to him.When Charlie asked Alastor if he thought it was possible for the souls can be redeemed. He said (paraphrase) "There's no undoing what is done while they were alive, and now they pay the price in their after life." Which tbh, Alastor right...that's what Hell is about. But I think it may have a stronger meaning to Alastor. His deal he made while alive.

I agree with the Lilith and Eve theories for as his master, which does check out. But I'm not throwing Zestial out the window. I find it odd that Alastor nearly wiped out all the older generation overlords but he remained. Also, how everyone overly fears him when the show introduced him and literally did nothing with him. (I have a feeling he minimal use is keeping him on low profile until he becomes a big player later.) Alastor did seem a tad apprehensive when Zestial appeared calm enough knowing harm not coming his way. The only reason I haven't made a post of it because Zestial question the 7 year absence/-which I can't explain. I think he would know what his powerful underling been up too.

The reason he got into killing I assume is his father. Alastor is a momma boy and I can see him taking out his father trying to defend his mother. Then it just kept morphing into a defender of woman and selecting men who rape woman and children or he see a very abusive man to his wife and it just keep recalling the memories of his own parents. His soul already damn, might as well put it to use, can't damn it more! He found himself good at cold murder, enjoying it. Or rather...entertained. The stalking, planning out every detail, the chase. He gives me slow death vibes, relishing their 'song and dance' as they scream and writhe in pain. It gave him a high,holding that much power over someone, the power of their life in his hands (god complex we get to witness) Then the satisfaction of getting away with it. It becoming more of a game then a (in his mind) service of justice.

Maybe he got into cannibalism when he fed come gaters to rid of the evidence and was like 'hmmm, maybe them gators have something there..." and kept a calf to try and was hooked since then. Then the killing became more of feed an appetite and boredom, that he had to seek a suitable victim to fulfill his needs. When it use to be, he witness/has knowledge of a deplorable act, he killed to end it from continuing. His 'kind' service became a greedy hunger of flesh, power, and entertainment.

But the last part of you message was extremely interesting. I never consider Alastor deal with Charlie is to use his favor to have her not get involved and stop him from fulfilling a task he needed/wanted. It really clever and keeps the harm no one part.

Love the part that Hell was paved with good intentions, because of the apple of knowledge/free will what created Hell. Such a lovely and fun way to put it. Then applied it to Alastor with what started as good intention murders.

[oldestenemy]

“Initiate!” Velma Von Venkman’s voice is always a bright note in this place—at least compared to Ione and Fitzhume, who the wizard hears more often. “I know you’re preparing for Mirage—but since you’re waiting on Quismah to locate the spiral door—can I have a word?”

That’s the other thing they like about Velma.

She asks for their time.

She doesn’t demand it like Ione or Baba Yaga—or like Ambrose used to.

“Of course,” She was right anyways—they couldn’t do much until Quismah sent word that she had found where in the sprawling deserts the spiral door for Mirage had been lost. “what do you need?”

Velma smiles, and maybe they imagine it but there might be a hint of sadness in it. “Look at you, always ready to throw yourself at a task—but it wasn’t really something I needed, it’s more—come with me, I don’t think this is really Panopticon chatter.”

So they follow her into the Hall of Shadow.

“Alright, so I know I didn’t ask in the beginning—I usually try not to pry into people’s pasts—most of the scholars are very private people—okay maybe not most—doesn’t matter, would you mind taking your hood down for me?” Maybe it’s the way she talks, maybe it’s the fact that she doesn’t appear to be more than a decade older than they are at most, but out of the people they’ve met here—Velma is the one who puts them on guard the least.

It doesn’t stop them from jolting a little at the question.

Because it means she’s recognized the scarring. In some form or another.

They suppose there was never going to be any hiding it from a scholar of Shadow. The wizard lowers their hood, and the thin veil of darkness that conceals all but their eyes vanishes with it. Sometimes they wonder if getting used to it was a mistake. They feel almost exposed without the cover.

They do not have a lot of time to dwell on the feeling—thankfully—because Velma is fiddling with the high collar of her shirt, eventually undoing enough of it to reveal scarring in a similar coloration—though not welled so deep—in the shape of a jester’s collar. Or an echo of one. Not quite so well defined, jagged on the edges but still clearly there. “I thought I recognized those—I just haven’t been able to quite pin down how you ended up with them,” She says, “I came back with this after the first time I brought the Trickster into existence, and when I spoke to Sofia Darkside—you know her don’t you?—she theorized it was because I was the first person to pull that type of Shadow creature under magical control. But the tears—”

“—it’s overuse.” The wizard answers before her ramble goes any further. There’s no point in keeping it secret, unlike everyone else here Velma is unafraid of Shadow. She is dedicated to poking and prodding and learning its secrets. “The first time was after I killed Morganthe—I absorbed so much of the power pouring from her that it was trying to escape my body any way it could. It came out like the night sky made liquid, like—” why bother describing it.

The wizard takes a breath.

Reaches inward for the coil of emotions they keep a tight handle on. Rage, grief, guilt, pride, desperation and fear. Loosens the locks. Just enough that their eyes burn. Cold and dark and starry.

They run two fingers under an eye, holding their hand out to Velma. “I can call it up, I couldn’t on Khrysalis, but later—I was trapped, I was angry and desperate—it’s pure Shadow magic, I can use it to bend reality around me like you would with any of its spells. I’ve made battle placements, door sigils, altered spell cards—” Embedded Shadow creatures into duel circles, burnt themself into a husk…

Velma pulls open to a blank page of her spellbook, and holds it out to them, “Would you mind?”

They run the ink-dark fingertips down the page, tracing the sigil for Shadow because it seems appropriate. When Velma sets the book down on her desk and comes back she’s peering at their eyes in curiosity—not even bothering to hide the way she is buzzing with it.

“It comes with a price.”

“All Shadow does,” Velma replies, still inspecting the drying starlight.

“This is different,” the wizard insists “you can use it and use it and use it without backlash until you either engage and finish a duel, or use a proper spell that induces backlash itself.” They tell her in more detail than they’ve told anyone—even Cyrus—about Nidavellir and Darkmoor and the ways this usage of magic ended when pushed too far.

To her credit, Velma listens with wide eyed interest. Only stopping them here and there to clarify how something felt, or how it looked. When they’re done, she rests back against the edge of her desk, the thin arm of her monocle tucked between her teeth like it’s helping her think. Eventually, she does ask the question they’ve been expecting. “And these are your only scars from Shadow?”

Nobody knows about the one hooked under their sternum.

Jagged and puckered, knotted tissue poorly healed.

The wizard nods. And lies. “They’re the only ones. I think they get deeper whenever I try to dip into that well.” That part is true, they think whenever they let the tears come fully, run down their face again like all the times before—it paints an ever deeper well into the soft plane of their face. Another reason for trying not to take things too far anymore, though certainly not the primary one.

The idea of what happened in Nidavellir being repeatable haunts them.

They do not want to chance a creature like what they became released on a wider scale.

They’ve got too much to lose.

[eye-of-the-cyclops]

PAC: Surviving the Dark Half of the Year

It seems like everyone is exhausted and struggling to get by. If you miss the sun and dread the cold this PAC is for you. This reading will give you an idea of what life will look like for you until the winter solstice. (December 21) The winter solstice is one of my favourite days of the year because it means the days are finally going to start getting longer and spring is on its way. This time of year can be very gloomy and difficult so my hope is that this PAC will help you make the most of it.   

These readings deal with some heavy topics and they came out very specific again. 

Take a couple of breaths and choose whichever picture you feel most drawn to. Maybe not all of the reading will resonate with you and that’s fine just take what does and leave the rest. 

Pile 1- Ugh Feelings

What is draining your energy?

So, there’s an old relationship and you just cannot seem to shake the feelings that you have for this person. Its someone who you want to let go of, someone you want to move on from. You don’t enjoy these lingering feelings. This person was not good to you and this relationship has caused you a lot of pain and grief. You’re trying to move on by meeting other people but these people who are interested in you... nope they ain’t it. You just aren’t feeling them. I think this is partly to do with the fact that they are most likely sleezebags but its more than that. You’re trying to be interested in them but you can’t commit yourself to it because its all an act. Your flirting has got no heart! You can’t get this old lover off your mind! This balancing act that you’re trying to maintain, this façade you put up to seem interested is tiring you out. You can’t keep lying to yourself about your lingering feelings. So stop lying to yourself!! It’s okay to find it difficult to move on, give yourself permission to feel your feelings. And stop wasting your time and energy hanging out with these shitheads that you don’t even like and who definitely don’t give a damn about you.      

How can you ground yourself?

I think you’ve been a bit passive in trying to get over this person. Just kinda hoping that you’ll meet someone else who makes you forget about this old lover. Well I’m here to tell you that’s not happening you’re not going to meet anyone like that so stop daydreaming. Definitely stop looking at every single love-related PAC you see. You need to decide that you are going to move on. I think you’ve had a lot of people telling you that you weren’t treated right and that you deserve better. Well they’re right. But have you actually done any self-reflecting on why you thought this treatment was okay? Why did you think it was okay that this lover demeaned you? Didn’t respect you? Critical thinking is deadly poison to old feelings about a nasty ex. You need to examine your underlying relationship patterns and take a step back from meeting new people. I bet you didn’t like that news right? Well here’s the good news! Take this time to check back in with your own pleasure. Embrace yourself and whatever makes you feel good. I think this could be a good move for you, definitely will lead to you becoming more in tune with your body, could lead to new discoveries. Prioritize yourself and doing things that bring you joy. Maybe devote one of your days off to doing a hobby. Eat some decadent food and then have dessert too. Rearrange a room to bring in new energy. As long as it brings you joy!   

What brings you energy?

You have a really good group of friends and I get the feeling that you’re a very closely knit bunch. Being around these people that you love and who love you in return energizes you. Maybe this old relationship took a lot of your time and you couldn’t spend as much time with them as you had in the past. Good thing that dead weight is gone! Go gossip! Although you love your friends you also spend a lot of time daydreaming. This is good and it’s important for your well being. (Major water sign energy) Make sure you try to keep a balance between these two aspects of yourself. Also don’t try to lose your sadness and feelings by overconsuming substances. It’s fine if your head is in the clouds as long as you have one foot on the ground.   

Pile 2- Is that the Earth rumbling and shaking?? Nope its your life!

What is draining your energy?

You are struggling to connect with your creative energy and this worries you very much because this is not a problem that you have really had before. There is a creative project you may have spearheaded in the recent past whether at school, work or as a hobby, maybe at some kind of non-profit organization you volunteer at. You put a lot of faith and work and love into this project and unfortunately it was a complete bust. This failure is haunting you and you can’t stop thinking about it. You can’t stop looking back and thinking about what you should have done differently. You feel quite defeated and ashamed of yourself. I think you were hoping that this project would do a lot of good and you had some very high hopes riding on it. This is a difficult thing to move past but you need to accept your failure but don’t accept defeat. A mistake is only truly a mistake if you don’t learn from it. There is a lesson here that you need to learn. Once you have figured out what this lesson is you need to come to terms with it and integrate it into your life. This is not a shameful process it is a human process, we all make mistakes as we go through life. Embrace this as an opportunity to learn to make the most out of this transit in your life.   

How can you ground yourself?

There are going to be a lot of changes for you coming up. And trust me I don’t mean little changes like trying oat milk in your coffee for the first time. You need to embrace these changes as they come your way. If you try to cling to your old life you will make things 110% more difficult for yourself. Prepare for old ways of being to leave. People may leave, old goals may become stale, I think you will find that some areas of your life ring hollow when they once made music. I know that this is easier said than done but please try not to overthink things too much. With all that is going on your thinking will be weighed done by all the anxiety and pressure of change. This is a time where you need to have some blind faith that you will pull through alright. Although you are struggling to connect with your creativity and passion right now, rest assured it has not gone anywhere. It hasn’t fled to the farthest corners of the Earth. Its right there with you, as it always has been and always will be. Your connection with your creativity has become strained but that is because you are undergoing a metamorphosis. When the time is right you will reconnect with your creativity and I think you will be amazed at how much stronger and truer is it. This is not something you can rush or force. Have faith.   

What brings you energy?

Given all the changes coming your way you are going to find yourself challenged in ways you haven’t been before. You are such a go-getter and a visionary that you are the type who always has a plan. You always know what your next move will be. During this transit you won’t have that crystal clear vision and plan. With so many things in motion the future is going to be cloudy and uncertain. Self-doubt will be your worst enemy during this time. You are a very resourceful person with great reserves of strength to draw on. Keep on working, keep on building for the future. You won’t see any immediate payoffs but have faith that your efforts are building up. Embrace the changes as they come, let go of what no longer fits, and remember your own inner strength. Your best ally is yourself.   

Pile 3- Time for Honesty and Healing

What is draining your energy?

There is a new love interest in your life. You like this person and have a good connection with them. They may be your right person wrong time. You have been very badly hurt by past relationships and this has left you with scars. You are scared to let down your defenses around this new love interest. Your unhealed wounds have you constantly wavering between fight and flight whenever they try to get close. You like them but you can’t find it in yourself to trust them. You may become defensive or cold towards them when they are sweet to you, kindness feel foreign when coming from a love interest. This isn’t because they are bad people by any means, I think that they genuinely do care for you. Its just that they bring up past pain. This isn’t a shortcoming on your part and nor is it their fault. Its simply the way it is, there is no blame to assign. You need to admit to yourself that you aren’t in the right place right now to be involved with someone. You subconsciously want to be alone but you are trying to force this relationship to work. There is no shame in taking a step back. Be honest with yourself about what you need at this time. Although you care for this person you are not obligated to be in a relationship with them. Be honest with your love interest about your feelings and why you can’t be with them right now. Give as much or as little detail as you are comfortable with. You aren’t obligated to keep in touch with them or promise that you will get together in the future. Right now you need to decide that you are going to listen to yourself, that you are going to take care of yourself and do what your gut is telling you to do. This isn’t selfish. Its essential.        

How can you ground yourself?

Self-reflection is something that makes you uncomfortable because you are carrying around so much pain. Its okay to be anxious and scared. You also don’t need to work through everything all at once. There is no deadline, no time limit and no mandates for how you should heal. I think alone time will be very beneficial for you at this time. I can also see journaling being a really big tool for your healing. You need to reconnect with yourself. There is so much more to you than just the pain that you have suffered. Take time to rediscover just how powerful you are. You have been belittling yourself for far too long. Give yourself the grace of taking up space with your presence. Meditating can also be a good tool for you to utilize. If you have been considering therapy and have the means to access it, you could look into your options to see if that is something that could help you. These are all just suggestions and everyone has their own healing path to follow. The most important thing is to simply start. Even if you cannot physically bring yourself to do anything yet, simply making the mental note that you want to do something is enough. This isn’t a journey that you can force or rush. Go at your own speed. Try to align your actions and thoughts with what feels right in your heart.    

What brings you energy?

This reading has likely left you a little bit overwhelmed and I don’t blame you, there’s a lot going on here. The idea of confronting your demons can be scary. But also ignoring them won’t make them go away. Keep in mind how light you will feel once you integrate and honor your pain. You devote so much energy to keeping the pain in check. It takes energy to pretend that you aren’t hurt, to always be scared of showing the world your true self. It takes so much out of you, maintaining the walls that you have built to keep yourself from being hurt again. These walls keep you from truly connecting with other people. It is possible to move through this pain and emerge out the other side. Imagine how it will feel. To not have this crushing pain and fear all the time. Imagine how it will feel to breathe deeply and feel space and love in your heart. You deserve this freedom and ease and love. It is time to stop punishing yourself and to stop living for others. This is a big journey to undertake but I have faith that you can do it. You are such a kind person, you don’t hesitate to help others because you don’t want them to ever feel the way you felt. This kindness is admirable but to be quite frank not everyone deserves it. And the person who most deserves your kindness right now is yourself.    

[reservedlisting]

I normally dont make posts on tumblr but considering I dont want to continue harassing people on discord with my thoughts about hotd I'm gonna rant here :') this is literally just for me and i dont expect anyone to read this or make any sense of my insane ramblings.

this show is SO SO SO SO SOOOO SO0O0O0O0O00o0oo0o0o0o0o baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! I could and have written an entire thesis about it so I won't do that here but my god it's offensively bad.

The way that women are written and in turn men are written in juxtaposition to women. As a woman I am genuinely offended and Im dutch and me so I dont get easily offended. Yes, I have some issues with how George writes women and girls but fundamentally women are allowed to be humans and be flawed but also have those flaws pointed out in the story. In that way men and women arent any differently written in asoiaf.

Hotd women are allowed to be flawed (Only Alicent's flaws are lingered on though) but also lets gloss over it when its convenient so that we can pretend women are all just peaceful little lambs and its the evil men that want bloodshed (Nvm rhaenyra having the servant killed so she can marry Daemon and have her husband leave under threat, alicent having larys burn Mysaria's house down, Rhaenys literally having the highest body count by committing acts of terrorism during the coronation). Until we are actually given a Very Good Reason :tm: the reason being this prophecy bullshit that has infused the show with the worst writing imaginable. They didn't learn from season 1 when everyone already hated the prophecy inclusion, nope they just doubled down on it. Just having to hear rhaenyra yap yap yap about this shit made me wish I was aborted like the alicole baby.

Its also so funny how they're like ah yes we'll have this person call rhaenyra a whore or a cunt so that we are in fact reminded that these are bad people that we shouldnt support. Like wow thanks for that signal show, I didnt pick up your more "subtle" clues. Then i have to see tweets with 20k+ likes about how criston deserves to die.. not daemon though for actually choking rhaenyra or calling alicent a whore (because the audience actually agrees with that lbr)

Then there is the BLATANT biased. It's about as subtle as a brick to the face. Condal (who is a clown for many reasons) pretending theres some kind of equality between the sides doesn't actually make it so. it's so obvious that they want everyone to support Rhaenyra and despite her completely irrational behaviour. Oh no those sexist lords in the council, meanwhile she's been off for days on end and then comes back with nothing to offer and then leaves AGAIN. As if these men arent risking their own hides by supporting her. Ofc Rhaenyra wants to go to war but is "smartly" talked out of it because "ohno cant risk you" and meanwhile everything that Aegon does is painted as stupid even though they almost work out.

Why am I supposed to think Aegon is an idiot for thinking that a king needs to be on the front line? as they have been many times throughout history? Of course he's gonna be pissed when they make plans without him. And then you have useless Alicent, never have I been turned off a favourite character so quickly and I genuinely loved her in s1, they really had to try very hard here but they've managed to make me dislike her. You're not logan roy girl, youre just boring as fuck and contribute absolutely nothing. Maybe you shouldve actually tried to prepare Aegon for rule in the decades since he was born instead of whining about how your evil sons dont listen to you.

its funny how tb people on twitter were made about comparison posts about aegon and alicent vs paul atreides and Lady Jessica. Because somehow Paul killing 61 billion people is less bad than whatever Alicent and Aegon do... meanwhile I'm actually mad that Alicent isn't in fact remotely like lady jessica. I genuinely wish she was because at least that would make her compelling. Instead of this useless figure we see now. Her relationship with her children especially aegon was always fraught. But she clearly loved them. Despite my hate hate relationship with ep8 that moment between Aegon and Alicent in the carriage and in the dragonpit was one of the best moments. Now even that is ruined.

The blatant bias really shone through in episode 4 to the point that I just had to laugh. And then reading what condal has to say or what TGC said they wanted him to do. I might as well be reading tb fanfic on ao3 and I might get to read a fairer treatment of the characters.

The fact that we also have seen extensive scenes of tb with their dragons but sunfyre, the most beautiful dragon and Aegon, the two that have the strongest bond get about 1 sec cause god forbid people actually like Aegon and see a human side to him. Ofc Condal said that was propaganda and that Syrax the golden was actually his fave dragon (truly a clown of a man).

On top of that they just pile all the shit on Aegon but ofc we must remember that he is a rapist and we cannot support him. Funnily enough it's made him the most compelling character by a country mile. Actually might be the only compelling character atp.

Aemond is a clown, alicent ditto. Tb are all boring as shit. Cant even include a lil bit of bastard drama for rhaenys and corlys cause obviously she's soooo understanding. YAWN. She's also super courageous ofc. And then there's ofc the stans who will defend anything their fave does cause stan brainrot. Instead of calling out the shitty writing they'll just double down that their fave did nothing wrong (aka aemond and alicent stans mostly, cause i dont even see tb's idiotic takes most of the time)

And its such a waste cause they have this giant budget, it looks pretty and there's tiny glimpses of interesting things and themes here and there but these writers are simply not competent, they're in fact incompetent. Half the show reads as fanfic and i say that with all due respect to fanfic as an avid reader.

then there's also the fact that they manage to create zero emotional connection with anyone so even scenes that are supposed to be good just arent. Like why the fuck would i give a shit about the cargyll twins killing eachother? cause you put some good music under it?

dont even get me started on b&c... i wasnt even planning on watching this season and i heard the complaints about b&c and i thought no way is it that bad. I saw gifsets they looked fine. And then I (stupidly) decided to tune in and I literally burst out in laughter cause the way it was filmed was just comical in places?!?! it was even worse than i had anticipated after the complaints somehow?!

Funnily enough sunfyre's cries were the only time I actually felt a strong emotion watching this show (other than the anger I feel at how bad this show is)

It's funny how people say that f&b bad and a dry historical account and sure but even then George manages to make me feel more about characters with one line that this show manages to do with all the power that a visual medium has.

and let me not forget about this show's sudden need to have its tongue firmly lodged up viserys' ass, what a great king indeed.

AANND then there's the PANDERING to the worst of the d*ny stans (who funnily enough dont even appreciate being pandered to so congrats condal). Rhaenyra is and never will be dany. This show is really written for the sansa will braid dany's hair crowd. Iykyk. Forcing in that friendship beyond the point of reason making the characters just acts stupid, and not in a people act stupid way but in its actually bad writing way. And then having to force in the prophecy even more for that and to give rhaenyra a righteous reason. And lets not forget the white stag in season 1 but sure Condal doesnt take sides Then the addition of the dragon eggs which he finally had to walk back probably cause he sensed the rancid vibes i was sending his way. Its so clear that HBO wants to sell their Boss Queen merch but then actually she's written in a way that's so bland and wants to take absolutely no action that there isnt really anything remotely boss bitch about her, completely coasting on young rhaenyra's personality cause older rhaenyra is again boring as shit. I guess now that she has Viserys' "permission" to rule she'll actually do something but i really dgaf at this point. But sell that merch I guess

Every time its some reviewer saying NOWWW the rREALLY great episode is coming on and every time im disappointed and episode 4 actually infuriated me to the point I had to stop watching and rant on discord several times.

this also never shouldve been the story told directly after game of thrones cause its so obvious how much theyve been influenced by it and writing in response to it, to its detriment. And now I'll never actually get to watch a good version of the dance. And if the viewership keeps dropping i might not see any good awoiaf adaptation again

I thought that after season 1 and the time jumps out of the way they might produce something half way decent but NOPE its somehow MUCH WORSE

Anyway hope Condal gets haunted like Daemon has been. Fuck him and this garbage show.

I havent even touched on everything here and this is completely incoherent but writing something coherent and semi intelligent is just more effort than this show is worth. Anyway call me when a knight of the seven kingdoms comes out, I can't imagine they could fuck that up. But who knows what new depths of shitness we might reach.

at least d&d had the decency to give us a few good seasons

[nochd]

Naturism as social justice

Part 1: Gender

"However we dress, wherever we go, Yes means yes, no means no."

If you take the "However we dress" part of that completely seriously, and follow it to its natural conclusion, you have the founding premise of naturism.

No amount of exposed skin constitutes a sexual invitation. That's what the rhyme means. But if it's not a sexual invitation, why does it carry legal and social penalties?

I know there's an instinctive reaction that says "Ewww, I don't want to see most people naked." I want you to have a think about why that's your response. I put it to you that it's because, at some level, you don't believe me about it not being a sexual invitation.

I do know that when I was first getting into naturism, the moment I properly accepted that the nudity really truly wasn't sexual was the moment the "Ewww" response vanished away like evaporating steam. Obviously it's unpleasant to receive sexual attention from someone you're not attracted to; but if it turns out it's not sexual, there's nothing left to feel "Ewww" about.

Now that I think about it -- there exist some men who loudly express their revulsion over various women's appearance, especially online. Could this be because, in these men's heads, existing in public while female constitutes a sexual invitation? And whenever they see a woman they're not attracted to, that makes them feel "Ewww"?

The application of this surmise to homophobia and transphobia I leave as an exercise for the reader.

Whenever you hear of a man overstepping a woman's boundaries, there always seems to be someone somewhere saying "Look what she was wearing -- she was asking for it." Society agrees that exposing some parts of our skin is "asking for it", because that's why those parts of our skin are forbidden. Once you've agreed to that, you're just haggling over where to draw the dotted line.

Part of the fallout is that people with breasts are required to keep them covered at all times, including on social media, culminating in the absurdity of breastfeeding becoming taboo.

I mean, we can keep on haggling for as long as we want, but I can't see this problem going away until we chuck out the entire concept of any body part being inherently a sexual signal.

Another social injustice that falls disproportionately on women is body judgement. Women are systematically valued more for their appearance than their competence; I believe we've made progress over recent decades, but the problem remains. A small fraction of women are held up as having the right kind of bodies, from which it follows that everyone else's must be the wrong kind of bodies. If we actually got to see each other's bodies, we'd see what nonsense this is.

Speaking of bodies society deems to be the wrong kind, consider the issues faced by trans and nonbinary people, and in particular the public toilet issue.

The main justification for keeping trans people out of public toilets for their true gender is apparently that other toilet users might see the kind of body parts they are not allowed to see. If there were no body parts we were not allowed to see, the problem would disappear, and the transphobes would have to find something else to exclude trans people from instead. Which, sadly, probably wouldn't take them long.

Naturism stands against all forms of body judgement. There are no wrong bodies.

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 →