#why do i write this anyway?
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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Hi! Do you take requests?
If so, I think a fic bases on this excerpt:
"she can't have her parents walking in again. poor cassandra…finding your daughter with her whole face buried in between a girl's thighs is not the most ideal situation"
of your cailtyn story would be phenomenal 🙏
If you don't, feel free to ignore this! :)
let's start by saying caitlyn knows how to eat pussy and loves doing it :3 babe could have it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and even dessert. she wouldn't call herself an expert per se, but she's quite proud of her talent.
sure, receiving it feels good—but what's better than knowing you're making a girl cum with just your mouth? to cait, absolutely nothing. the moans, the hair-pulling, the thighs clenching against her head ♡ ugh chef's kiss.
( she came untouched a few times from it but you did not hear it from me ok? )
it's usually one the first things she does when you successfully sneak into her room. like a reward for getting through massive place she calls home without anyone noticing.
your back against the bed and legs immediately spread to expose the sight she absolutely adores. god, she could just stare at it forever and it'd still have the same effect in between her own legs. new panties are needed.
she doesn't dive in face-first like an animal the second your clothes are off, even if she does feel like a starved woman. she starts by slowly kissing your thighs and caressing any bit of skin she can, hand sneaking up your abdomen and ribs to massage your breasts a little—don't mind it.
“should I continue?” cocky because she already knows the answer is a breathy ‘yes, please’.
oh and she gets way more cocky once she finally starts working on you, soft and slow stripes and twirls with her tongue. nothing fancy yet; she wants to tease a little more.
the second your hips start bucking into her mouth though? girl, grab onto something because she takes the signs IMMEDIATELY.
legs propped up on her shoulder while her hands hold your hips down to keep control of them. the slurping sounds are almost pornographic with how sloppy she's being. no whine coming from you is gonna make her stop any time soon. she's enjoying it waaaay to much already.
if she's feeling nice she will add a finger or two while sucking ๋࣭⭑ curling them just right inside you, not in-and-out like crazy. her tongue’s already lapping at you pretty fast so no need to overwhelm you…yet.
she wishes you would look down at her for a sec to see that pretty expression better, but she also understands it's her own fault that your head is thrown back against the bed, clenching around her fingers while pulling at her hair. what a curse to be so good at pleasing girls.
she knew speeding up her movements wasn't a smart thing to do so late at night as soon as the loud whine that escaped your lips reached her ears. obviously louder than the previous ones.
the heavy thump on the door when it opened proved her right.
“caitlyn.”
of course it had to be her mother out of all people.
cassandra's eyebrows furrowed as she looked away with a small huff, trying to erase the sight from her mind by blinking and observing every detail on the window. she thought caitlyn was trying to sneak out and get involved with stuff she shouldn't like she had done in the past with serious cases or something, not this!
“It is 3 am; please take your… friend out of here.” a dismissive wave of her hand showed that there wasn't much room for arguing—none really because she's already out the door with a low mumble to herself before her daughter could say anything. tomorrow's talk is gonna be awful, that's for sure.
“just keep quiet some more, then you can go home, alright?” the blue haired girl softly whispered, leaning up and kissing the soft skin on your shoulder to reassure that you're not leaving until you get a few well deserved orgasms, her fingers already going back to rubbing small circles.
she's not gonna let a pretty girl leave her bedroom unsatisfied even if it means getting caught again.
masterlist
#pupi writes ᝰ#IT TOOK ME SO LONG#i'm embarrassed#anyway#if this is shit pls let me now y'all#caitlyn kiramman x reader#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn smut#caitlyn kiramman smut#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane smut#arcane x reader#wlw smut#wlw nsft#sapphic writing#sapphic smut#how do i even write smut#I'M NEW AT THIS#why do i always post fics at 5 am#not good for my health
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Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.
Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU
#knitting#no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means#How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles#Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me#Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice#How do I join the pattern cult#I am so confused#I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders#I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources#And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me#I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling?#Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language#And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction
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the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,
#rimi talks#sorry. thought about tim doing that again. what is WRONG with him kfjshakjdshfkjd#WITHOUT EVEN TELLING BRUCE UNTIL AFTER HED ALREADY DONE IT TOO.#TIMOTHY. WHY.#this is the other thing abt why i just dont like seeing jtodd in fanwork#whenever he appears like 99% of the time its in a way that is directly contradictory to actual comics#the 1% of people who actually read the comics and write him in such a way? fine great awesome!!#however i still am filtering that bitch out because hes kind of a catch-all for the most annoying batfanon tropes.#because. yknow. theres no other tags to filter out bc they dont Fucking tag it#alas. oh well. anyways can we go back to going hey tim what is wrong with you#because for real i think he got off way too easy for this one.#forget identity reveals i want the core four sleepover where tim's apartment gets its lore reveal#give me cassie doing such a dramatic spit take that she gets ice cream on the ceiling. picks up tim like a weasel. and goes WHY???#and hes just like. idk seemed like the right thing to do :)#tim
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Yeah, that about sums it up.
#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#lucabyteart#me writing some of the most basic and not-a-new-concept dialogue possible: yeag ill finish this someday. maybe.#me realising the anniversary is soon: wait. extremely on the nose conclusion-of-an-essay ass dialogue is PERFECT for an anniversary piece#anyway happy birthday you fucking video game. christ. jesus christ. what the fuck happened. why have i drwawn these fucking things so much#adrienne what do you fucking Do to Me. what the Hell. thanks . i know how to draw comics now. legit. thanks but what the hell dawg#anyway no i dont know what the posing is on this theyre just kind of crumpled together. wasnt supposed 2 b a kiss because i dont think#that that fucker gets mouth privileges but like idk go nuts man. is this during canon? postcanon? some other shit? idk. your call#the world is yourrrrr oyster (this is my way of saying im hells of busy and am going back to neglecting everyone who followed me for this#specific weirdass ship content. bye. im dyig out there.)
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Thanks.
Prev
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats like“I was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
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another one that I'm not super happy with, but continuing to mess with it isn't going to help! so here he is! 🦇 there was a lot I was trying to get across in this one, so uhhhhh hopefully it reads.
we're almost out of unique magics now...just Ace (and maybe Grim?) left!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#unique magic posters#drawing lilia slightly more on-model than i usually do feels so wrong#i just want to draw the tallest spikes#lilia: (writing down his height) 5'6“...5'2” in a hat#(actually i'm pretty sure he would just write 'fun-size' but i digress)#anyway lilia. hey lilia. your magic is not cradle-specific so WHY is it called that#did it come in like 'so in like 500-ish years we're going to have a significant moment with a cradle. just trust me bro.'#'in the meantime enjoy having the weirdest magic name ever'#probably came in useful for raising kids though#don't put that in your mouth don't you know where it's BEEN#because i do#(long stare off into middle distance) i know where it's been
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More
#my art#sketchy sketch#gotham#nygmobblepot#oswald cobblepot#edward nygma#jerome jumpscared us with a love rival ao3 hurt/no comfort episode and then left#why did they go through all the hoops to make sure ed and oz didn't become too gay I will never know#I do know#but still#I will ignore most of it and act like knew what he had and did not let it go#“please we're brothers” YEA OKAY UHH OKAY#anyway....its so late I should not write tags#I feel insane for drawing them so much but it's my hyperfixation ok!!??
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SUMMARY: people say suffering is what it means to be a shroud. you could not think more different.
WARNINGS: mentions of blood & self mutilation.
COMMENTS: PHEW THIS ONE WAS A DOOZY!!! idia stop being my muse pls 🙏🙏 i keep writing 2k - 3k word fics in one sitting because of you
“Don’t you wish the world treated him better?”
You blink, entranced by the swirls of green. The voice beckons you closer.
How was that door open...? It should have been closed, right...?
“Don’t you wish you three could live up on the surface, like everyone else?”
More voices have joined.
“Don’t you want that for him and his brother?”
It sounds beautiful, like a symphony.
“This is what it means to be a Shroud.”
You step closer, muscles relaxing as you slip under their spell. The voices are right. They deserved better. They should have been able to live where they pleased, to escape this island and their fate.
The voices giggle—they know they’re right.
They’ve reached you.
Black consumes your vision, blocking out the glowing green. You shut your eyes. Your world grows darker. There's a seizing in your chest and a fluttering in your heart as something pours into your body, staining you.
“This is what it means to be a Shroud.”
“Set us free, and we’ll set all of you free.”
—
The hallways are blaring red, but all Idia sees is the floor swimming in his vision. Ortho is by his side as he punches access code after access code into the door panels, running like he’s never run before. He has a stitch in his side but he keeps going, your face flashing in his mind.
He lost Ortho once. He’s not losing someone again.
It’s like the stairs last forever, winding deeper and deeper into the Earth. Idia doesn’t stop running once, even though he feels like he’s going to fall over and throw up. He’s almost one-hundred percent certain Ortho has carried him at some point but his mind is too messy and his vision is too muddled to care.
Time seems to slow as he reaches the bottom. He raises his head as his ears ring, and the second he lays eyes on you it’s like his vision is clear again. Ink pours out of you and the black markings on your face are all too familiar. Blue fire spits out from behind you and your shrieks are heartbreaking, like you’re wailing for something you want so badly but could never have. Wings sprout from your back, broken and crooked, feathers twisted and clumped. Your hands are worn and bloody from stretching at the walls, and that’s when Idia realizes—
You want to be free.
Guilt crashes over him and it's a critical hit. Of course. He should have been sure this is what you wanted. He should have known you’d get sick of life here, even though you said you loved him time and time again, even though you held him on all those nights that he couldn’t sleep because the thoughts were too much, even though you bonded with Ortho and stepped back for him, letting him set boundaries even though that meant not doing things you wanted to do, like holding his hand or kissing his forehead or playing with his hair.
He should have known this wasn’t the life you wanted.
The ring on his finger feels like nothing more than a heavy stone now.
—
It took years for Idia to open up to you about his family situation. In fact, he seemed to be braced for the possibility that you’d leave him in a heartbeat after hearing it. Your heart ached for him when he explained his past and his inevitable future in a soft, low voice, rushing through the whole thing as if it was the scariest thing he’s ever done.
You placed your hand on his knee once he stopped, letting his words trail off into the night.
“I understand you.” you’d said, looking him straight in the eyes. They seemed to glow in the darkness of his room, flickering like a fire about to be put out.
Idia curled in on himself that night, dragging a clump of his hair over his shoulder and twisting it into knots. You’d reached over and gently grabbed his hands, stopping him from tangling his precious hair. You’d gently smoothed out the fiery strands before kneeling in front of him, looking up at him as if paying him reverence.
“I want to stay with you.” you’d said softly, cradling his shaking, fragile hands in yours.
In that moment, it felt like his very heart was beating between your intertwined hands.
Soft sniffles filled the room that night, and you kissed each tear away. More kept coming, more and more and more, his eyes blotchy and red as he tried to keep quiet. You kept quiet too, whispering how much you cared about him and how if he would let you, you’d stay with him forever because you loved him and he deserved someone by his side. You kissed each tear well into the night, fighting his overwhelming sorrow with your love.
—
Your memories are patchy. It’s like you don’t remember who you are, or where you are. In the dark expanse of your mind, you remember two things.
Idia Shroud and Ortho Shroud.
Your throat feels heavy as your heart starts to palpate—what happened? Where is the green glow? Where are all the comforting voices that whispered your new future to you?
Where were the people you were fighting for?
“Vitals stable.” a faraway voice calls, a sharp clatter piercing through your quiet, inky haze, “Commencing full body scan for blot.”
Blot...
Your eyelids pry themselves open. All the energy has been sapped from your body, your limbs heavy and useless. The strings holding them up have been cut, and it's scary that you can’t remember how you were strung up in the first place.
“Mx, we ask that you please stay still.” the man above you is in a white coat, his hands holding a clipboard and a pen.
You nod passively. Something about him seems familiar enough.
His voice drones on statistics about your well being as your eyes slip shut again, and arms of sludge reach out from your mind and pull you back under the ink, into a deep sleep.
—
Idia is chewing on his fingernails again.
He wishes you were here to scold him for it and paint a new coat over them so he wouldn’t chew on them anymore, being too sentimental to mess up your hard work and too repulsed by the taste, even though he would only ever tell you the latter and—
You were still asleep.
Your vitals are stable, You are fine.
You are fine but there are still black scars all over your body.
Your vitals are stable but the marks will stay there forever.
You almost died and it’s his fault.
You want freedom and he took that away when he said “I do.”
He kissed you and he sucked the soul right out of your body, keeping it clutched in his hands because he’s selfish and stupid and why in the world did you even fall in love with him in the first place?
He has nothing to offer you.
Nothing but this.
Suffering and loneliness and contempt and headaches and cold nights and machines that fill your whole day, leaving no room for the whimsical leisure you enjoyed before. There are no more board games, no more trips to the school store, no more fresh air and nighttime walks, no more watching movies and eating gummy worms, no more talking to anyone who isn’t him.
The ring on his finger burns.
—
You don’t know how long it's been since you went to sleep.
You wake up to a room with dark walls and metallic shelves above your head. The bed (cot?) is firm underneath your body, which is adorned by a gray uniform. There’s a desk right across from you with a tablet and a chair. You can’t see anything it’s hooked up to. The one constant among all of these things seems to be the triangular details, criss-crossing and curving and connecting with each other.
They make your vision spin, so you look away.
You stay in bed.
For some reason your face and neck sting, as does your back. You trace the parts of your face that burn, finding that the areas are almost symmetrical on both sides.
What happened?
“...Idia?” you whisper, your left hand resting over your smoothly beating heart.
The door opens.
Your heart lurches into your throat when you see a dark uniform, fiery blue hair that swings well past his elbows, and eyes that are sunken in. His skin is as pale as ever, his lips chapped and bitten by worry, his nails stubbed and torn, but—
He came.
But it’s him.
He came when you called.
“...Idia—!” you gasp, choking on your words as you lurch forward and cough, black ink splattering all over your gray shirt.
“Easy!” he yelps, rushing to your side. You feel his cold hand press against your back and you lean into the touch, starved for it.
“What happened?” you ask between smaller coughs, following his hand and he lays you back down.
Idia bites his lip. He does not answer.
Instead, he turns his back to you and moves over to the desk grabbing the tablet. He still doesn’t look at you as he taps a few bottoms. He gnaws on his lower lip before twisting the chair to face you and sitting down.
“How much do you remember?” he counters your question with another question, eyes heavier than usual.
“I remember green.” you whisper, the intriguing whispers poking into the corners of your mind again, “I remember voices...they said sweet things to me.”
Idia winces as if that’s the last thing he wants to hear.
“You overblotted.” he says, so blunt it surprises both of you, “You went...deeper than you should have, and you overblotted.”
You touch your face. The burning sensation wiggles as if it’s been recognized, and is pleased. It’s like there's something under your skin, something alive and yearning,that was waiting for him to say it.
“Oh.” you whisper, and in turn, the voices begin to beckon you again.
“This is what it means to be a Shroud. Don’t you wish you three could live up on the surface, like everyone else? It’s not fair, is it? He deserves better. His brother deserves better. You all do. We can help you, we can make that happen, you just have to help us—”
“They were phantoms.” you breathe, tracing the lines on your face over and over and over and over and over—
You don't notice when he gets up and reaches for you. Idia grabs your hand when it looks like you’re pressing too hard, your nails digging into your skin. You stop immediately, looking up at him with glossy eyes and trembling lips.
“Idia...is this what it means to be a Shroud?” you ask, forming each word carefully.
The phantoms said as much.
But he says nothing.
“I don’t blame you if you decided this isn’t what you want, you know.” he says, tone flat and disinterested, like you’re someone he doesn’t even know.
“What do you mean?”
“Your phantom looked like it wanted to be free.” he says, tablet still in his hand.
He pulls up the footage of your rage and shows it to you—your crooked, clumped wings and your bloody, inky hands and your screams as you cry for freedom, freedom—
He misunderstands.
“Not for me!” you seize his wrist, squeezing it so hard you fear it’ll break but this important, “For you! Freedom for you! It’s always you and it always will be you! I wanted you to be free and Ortho to be free. I wanted all of us to be free—!”
You start coughing again, this time even harder. Ink splatters on your bed and this time Idia is on you, he’s truly with you, cradling you against his chest as the ink stains his uniform as well. It pours out of you like a dead, polluted river, and yet in a twisted way it’s a symbol of how much you care.
You vaguely feel his nose pressing against your head in the haze, whispering what sounds like swears and pleads but none of it reaches your ears over the sound of your coughing. By the time you’re done, both of you are thoroughly painted with the remnants of blot.
The voices are gone.
“I’m so glad you’re okay.” he whispers it into your head like it's a confession, meant for your ears and your ears only, “I thought you...wanted to leave here. Leave me.”
His arms are around you like a vice grip.
You’re grateful you’re alive to see him be selfish.
“Idia...my love.” you say, equally as soft, “How many times do I have to tell you that I want to be with you?”
“It’s hard to believe!” he protests, voice cracking.
He pulls away from you, just enough to look over your face. His eyes are watery and he’s so vulnerable—you really scared him. His thumb traces down the parts of your face that burned, the parts of your face you know will be scarred for life now.
“Good thing I’m still here then.” you smile weakly, cupping his face, “I’ll remind you every single day.”
His ring no longer burns.
His left hand rests over your left, and your rings clink together as they connect.
You’re okay. You still want him. You’re alive.
“You’re crazy.” Idia groans, stepping forward and falling into your arms, “You are absolutely crazy. Any normal person would be running for their life right now, calling me a freak and hyperventilating. A normal person would never want to come back—”
His slumps over you like a big cat, arms encircling you in warmth once again. It’s his way of hiding his expression when he’s getting a bit too into his feelings—you know this by now.
“Goodness. It’s a good thing I’m madly in love with you then.” you laugh, hands splayed out on his shoulder blades as he hugs you again, “You know what they say about love making you do crazy things.”
“Please don’t ever do that again—oh Great Seven.” he squeezes you even tighter and you let him, putty in his hands.
“I’m not planning on it. I promise.” you reassure him, “I don't want to leave you—”
“It’s not about leaving me, you could have died!” he protests, cradling the back of your head, “I’d be fine if you just left! If you were somewhere else...somewhere safe!”
“You would not be okay with that. Don’t pretend to be.” you chastise him quietly, and you know you’ve won when he goes quiet, “You want to keep me here, and you want me to stay. I want the same thing. You don’t have to pretend I’m a sacrifice that can be made. I didn’t fall in love with you because you’re noble or a goody-goody.”
He doesn’t say anything for a few moments. Then—
“I love you so much.” he mumbles.
It’s a rare confession, one that has never lost his sweetness even after years together.
Now this, this is what it means to be a Shroud.
It means staying with each other no matter what.
It couldn't be farther from loneliness.
“I love you too.” you murmur back, and his thumbs trace your blot scars as he presses a single, barely noticeable kiss to your forehead.
#auburn's fics <3#flops on the ground. guyss i NEED to stop doing all this in one session omg#i keep coughing WHY AM I STILL SICK#anyways married idia <333 my favorite version to write <333 muah muah#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#idia shroud angst#idia x reader#idia angst
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If I Should Stay
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
He’s staring at him.
Steve Harrington is staring at Eddie Munson.
The thing is, people don’t just stare at Eddie. Not for any reason that means anything good for Eddie. So when, completely unprompted, the fucking King of Hawkins High walks up to Eddie and says, “I need to talk to you,” Eddie thinks he’s entirely justified in the squeak he lets out.
“You? Talk? To me?” Wow. Great job, brain.
“Please,” Harrington whispers, and Eddie thinks desperately this must be some kind of joke, except he’s good at reading people, and he knows the desperation in Harrington’s eyes.
“Okay,” he says, stammers. “Um. There- there’s, behind the school, a, uh-”
“Table,” Harrington nods. “That works. Just…” he sighs, rakes a hand through his hair. “Leave the lunchbox at home.”
Eddie’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “Then what the fuck do you want with me, dude?”
“I can’t explain. Not here, not now. Just. Please. After school, okay?”
Eddie looks at him. Really looks, studies his face, understands the lines by his eyes, the tightness of his mouth. His heart thumps as he realizes. He’s scared. “Okay,” he says, and means it.
Eddie’s a man of his word, so after school he makes his way to the table, pausing when it comes into view. Harrington’s already there, sitting with his head in his hands. Eddie calls out from a couple of paces away. “You sure you don’t want anything from the lunchbox?”
Harrington jumps, hands up, eyes round. Relaxes a little when he sees Eddie. “No. I- I’m good. I can’t, actually.”
Eddie frowns. “What, like, a sports thing? No one’s gotta know, dude, I’ve never been busted, I can keep a secret.”
Steve gives him a half-smile. “No. It’s- it’s not a sports thing. Just… sit down? And promise to listen?”
“Okay,” Eddie says, because he knows how comforting it can be to just have someone there, and he’s not a dick; clearly Harrington’s going through something. Though why he approached Eddie, of all people, he doesn’t know.
“Okay,” Harrington repeats back, taking a breath before starting. “If I were to tell you I’m from the future, a future in which we know each other, how would you ask me to prove it?”
Eddie blinks. He was ready for a lot of things, but not time travel. “Um. I dunno, man, I haven’t really thought about it.”
He takes another deep breath. “Can I try?”
“To- to prove you’re from the future?”
“Yeah.”
Eddie laughs, a little hysterically. “Man, where the fuck do I get the strain you’re on?”
He blinks. “What?”
Eddie gestures at him. “Come on, man, you have to admit you’re not really making sense here.”
Harrington sighs. Takes another breath. Says, “You live with your uncle Wayne. Your father taught you to hot wire cars when you were nine. You listen to Dio and Metallica and Ozzy Osbourne but your favorite song is I Will Always Love You, by Dolly Parton, because it was your mom’s favorite. The guitar pick you wear around your neck was hers. She taught you guitar. You love The Hobbit. Stop me when I’ve said enough.”
Eddie’s never been more scared in his life. “Listen, man, I dunno where you heard all that-”
“Eddie,” he says, implores, and digs something out of his pocket. Opens his hand to reveal a ring.
A ring Eddie already has on his finger.
“What the fuck,” Eddie whispers. Grabs for the ring before he can tell himself it’s a bad idea. Examines it, sees the dent from where his finger had gotten smashed in a door.
His hands start shaking.
“I’m from 1987,” Steve Harrington says, sure as anything. “And I’m trying to stop something terrible.”
“And what would that be?” Eddie asks, feeling strangely detached from the whole thing.
“Your death,” Steve Harrington says, still sure as anything.
Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect
#if I should stay#do I need to be starting another wip?#no#do I need help?#yes. probably#will I get any?#hahahahaha no.#probably not#anyways I don’t know why Steve went back in time. we’re gonna figure it out as we go along#or we won’t#this is my excuse to write Steddie#and to write Eddie into the script earlier than he actually was#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#starambles
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I need to chew both of them like a stress toy
#senart#solarballs#i hate them i hate earth (proceeds to draw only them for the rest of the day)#ANYWAY HC#earth changes his clothes a lot but he usually wears tshirts. Or he would just wear same thing until it felt uncomf to be wearing it#its either new outfit every earth day or the same fit for a whole week theres no in between#i have so many thoughts about him man why does my brain always pick these kinds of characters#AND LUNA IM SO SORRY YOUR DESIGN IS SO BLAND 😭😭 ILL DO YOU BETTER NEXT TIME#sigh i totally dont have favorites#i ll write more later man im so hungry rn i cant thinkmn
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Pictured: Loop being extremely normal as they lay in their shallow (homemade) grave as they meditate on existence and also if they have annoyed the Researcher enough THIS time for her to murder them and bury them alive.
(Spoilers - they did not annoy her even CLOSE to that much.)
And there is the required reverse image of Odile arriving - she's had a LONG day (i.e. previous loop), and due to this it will take ten minutes before she even acknowledges the shallow grave Loop is laying in, as she was distracted complaining about what Siffrin just did to annoy her.
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I'd say there's context for all of that, because like...there IS context? Here's the link to the series of fics that HAS that context even! But also...even with context...can't say that it's going to make any of this less weird.
Mostly Odile is looping because due to Loop's wish the universe got rewritten to make Siffrin's repression and emotional issues (the ones bad enough to get him stuck in a time loop in the game) 'someone else's' problem...or at least that's Loop's best theory atm!
Regardless, context or not, I'm quite happy with how the pics came out, and figured I might as well post them here too.
#isat#isat loop#isat odile#in stars and time#like a wheel ever turning au#odile looping au#my art#This was vaguely gesturing at the 'Siffrin gets woken up by Mirabelle' at the start of the game#but like#RADICALLY recontextualized to be near unrecognizable#also vaguely gesturing at the 'hanged man' tarot card because Loop's too fabulous to not pose dramatically in the grave they dug themselves#just to make a point#a point which odile then processed to ignore#Gotta say from the point that i got the vision of loop digging their own grave#the chapter basicly wrote itself#i love how much black humour In Stars in Time fanfics can have without it killing the tone by making it humourless!#It IS possible to write idiots in time loops dying horribly and still have it be a black comedy in pokemon#but LORD that was so much harder to keep the tone balanced with#....look.#i KNOW i have a thing for time loops#i imprinted on Steins;Gate when it first came out and was never the same again#that anime has it's many issues but also it rewrote part of my brain#...also...verbal ticks.#still say 'dootdeedoo~!' unironically#to be fair! I also would say 'nya' as a verbal tick - had to ACTIVELY unlearn doing it even so i'd stop doing it at lecturers in uni#why yes! i was REALLY easy to mock as a teen lol#anyway these tags got off topic#let's wrap this shit up
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✧*:・゚Art summary 2024
2014-2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021
#art summary#art summary 2024#art summary meme#my art#I know two years are missing but I wanted to get back to doing this summary#no art in November apart from that little mushroom so I didn't separate Aster and Kornelia (I like that drawing lol)#I draw significantly less and even less for myself but I don't mind for some reason#idk maybe my hyperfixation is now writing#I used to draw and learn about art and consume it in every way#and then I think Al came in and started to slowly destroy that obsession bringing doubts about my skills and the whole sense of creating#I don't look for new art that much because the constant suspicion spoils the joy of exploration#I don't feel like posting drawings in low res blurry with added artefacts knowing they will be ground into mush anyway#all so the rich dudes become richer and the spiteful dudes drown in their own venom#I know writing is treated the same way as visual art#it's art after all so something useless and pointless#but at least I don't have to post my chapters every month and watch as they disappear in the everyday slop#though I'm sure the big bosses will take my words and feed them to the machines as well because why not#sorry about the tags xD#HAPPY NEW YEAR! (soon)#I hope 2025 is the year the Al bros choke ;)
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I don't know how everyone isn't also always constantly thinking about how burial rites seem to be potentially one of the few things Siffrin instinctively remembers about their culture. But rest assured. I am in fact always thinking about it.
Textless version where they're just hanging out. It's fine!
#love how i said id slow down on fanart. and then didnt. anyway. the bg is supposed to be a ocean shore but its vague intentionally.#ALSO SORRY FOR DRAWING EVERYONE FACING AWAY FROM THE CAMERA ALL THE TIME? WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT IN MY ISAT STUFF. HELLO? HELLO??? WHY???#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#sifloop#lucabyteart#hi again sifloop tag. read this as you will. go nuts. i know you people are here for the crumbs.#if you want other thoughts re: what they do/do not remember on instinct. i wonder what their culture's bonding ceremony equiv is.#since they dont seem to have any answers to that. perhaps since not directly asked during that conversation. hm. feels like a cute fic idea#not that ill be executing on that.#ill be damned if i bare my ass on ao3. i can barely write about my ocs without feeling like im naked on stage. i salute your kind's bravery#also sorry if the dialogue here is hard to parse what order its in. its a zigzag of some kind im not fighting my absolutely ass typesetting#samdontlook
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His lips brushed against hers when he spoke again. "Whatever it is, I can help you."
Eloise shivered at his proximity and leaned in a bit closer. Their lips were touching now, an approximation of a kiss, but neither of them moved to break it from its liminal meaning. Maybe if she breathed the words that she couldn't speak into his mouth, they would be swallowed whole by him. Maybe he could help her. Maybe putting them into reality somehow, not just allowing the events to remain some nebulous thing that was consuming her, could help.
"I..." the feeling of his lips brushing against hers as she tried to speak made her stomach clench in that strange way it had before, and all she wanted to do was lean into his embrace again. Eloise closed the distance again between them, her lips moving softly, sweetly against his as she whispered what she could not tell him about that weekend. She didn't know if he could understand her, but did it really matter?
She whispered everything she didn't have the words to articulate otherwise.
Sebastian tried pulling his head away, to better listen to her, perhaps, but Eloise chased his mouth with her own and before she knew it, he was as lost in the kiss as she was. It was...addicting, to be so close to him, to smell the faint cinnamon scent that always seemed to cling to his robes, to hear the small breaths coming from him - from her - as the kiss deepened. Eloise's wrapped her arms around Sebastian's neck, soon abandoning any words as she gave herself to him completely. She pressed herself tightly against him and his hands moved down to her waist, going up and down her back, causing her to shiver at the touch, grabbing at her and pulling her even closer but it wasn't enough. Sebastian's mouth broke away from hers and she whimpered in protest that soon turned into soft gasps as he started to kiss her jaw, her neck, going down as he slid her robe slightly off of her shoulder and kissed her collarbone.
It was as if his touch was sending jolts of pure magic through her body every time he made contact with her skin. Eloise hadn't known that anything could feel like this, so intimate, so lovely, as Sebastian's lips on her shoulder. But then, whispered softly, feverishly to her collarbone, lips brushing against her skin causing a shiver to run down her spine -
From chapter 25 of Before It Felt Like A Sin 🫶
#I finally posted my chapter & I just feel like writing a LOT these days!!!#plus so much drawing…why does this motivation always come when I have NO TIME???????#(I wake up extra early & do everything I need to super fast and suffer through work by thinking of writing🥲)#anyways this scene makes me melt🫠#like a SHOULDER kiss😳💘 wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#who even cares about sex when nobody has ever seen Eloise’s shoulder before🙄 it’s more intimate…#ok sorry for dumb hashtags#I just love drawing scenes from my writing so much and it’s why I started drawinf in this style last year#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfic#hogwarts legacy fic#hogwarts fanfiction
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Oh nooOooOoOoOoooo the hero has been captured‼️‼️😱 I sure hope nothing *terrible* happens to her nowww~ 😜🤪😝
Here’s a little behind the scenes with Wakasirasan today (Facilitated by @spiffytickler)! I got to be a SUPER HERO 😌😌~ shame it didn’t save me from any of the unspeakable things that ensued after this pic lmaooo 😰. Who’s excited to see the finished product of this shoot?? LOWKEY, I KNOW I AM 🤣. Curiosity and all to see if it looks just as evil as it felt for me to go through it 👀😅😵. Gambatte @wakasira in your editing! We look forward to your results 🥰
#Wakasirasan#spiffytickler#me#self content#video shoot#behind the scenes#photo#wait what are you doingggg why are you cutting holes in my socks?? 😱😩#😋🤭🤭😇#tickling#this experience was like.. kinda iconic because#I feel like it’s so classic in Japanese content to be dressed up like this~#also YA’LL HE WAS SO MEAN#I say this every time but like actually#I really did think I was gonna die#this was gonna be my last moments lmao#but anyway I will do a more detailed write up about the experience once the content is here~#stay tuned~#cece’s japan series
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