#why do i even live here there's no point
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erinwantstowrite · 1 month ago
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the past couple of days i was doing a lot of stuff but mostly deep cleaning our house and something i noticed while listening to my mom's true crime videos was that you can rarely find a channel that doesn't add stupid fucking music to the background like it's a horror movie- or even more inappropriate cheerful music.
and that REALLY bothers me because these are people's REAL lives we're talking about here... when i watch true crime anything i have to go out of my way to find channels that don't sensationalize it or disrespect the victims in any way. recently, one of the channels i watch has started showing signs of leaning towards this kind of content, when previously they hadn't done so. and it's disappointing. i'm a big believer in music elevating a story but it just feels gross to put it here. or to keep doing moments like "but this horrifying secret will come to light later", etc etc
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lbhslefttiddie · 5 months ago
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im so fucking mad. why did i work so hard on this. there isnt even a single gay bitch in this image all i have is latticework and osmanthus studies
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moe-broey · 21 days ago
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Close ups on the pocket details!!! I'm SUPER happy w how the top pockets look 😳😳😳
I think the variety of pride pins with the moral panic button/Mr Faggot beadwork just. Really sells it. Shadow the Hedgehog voice Pee Your Pants. If you're going to be a shithead about me I'm going to be really annoying and do a bit about it. Plus the little golden angel pin... ALSO really pulls the whole thing together. "God help you" Right in front of my guardian angel? Really? 😒And how could I not make mention of. The Skull. I love you The Skull. It's a button (not sewn on yet, pinned) that I filled the details in w nail polish. Oh yeah! Besides the bottle cap pins (acrylics sealed with mod podge and a prayer), the biggest addition there is the chain lining the pocket flap! I think it looks SO SLICK
The pansy was gonna go on the queer side, but then I got the boutonniere idea! And I think it looks nice! Kinda adds to the asymmetry of the floral print/plaid blocking. And... of course.... I have... my friends...... 🥺 Biggest additions here are the glow-star pentagram pin, soda tabs and the heart locket!
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I don't really have many new additions to the bottom pockets. Not yet! The only thing I did was stitch one side of the handcuff chain, and rearrange the pins holding up the other side. The cuffs/scorpion was just an impulse addition before going to a concert. But I do like it! And it looks even better now! Meanwhile, that other pocket, I actually have no idea what I'll do. Sakura is just there cause she matches really well, esp w the angel pin actually!
#punk tag#diy punk#my projects#I FORGOT I USED THAT TAG .#also i AM gonna put patches on this thang I PROMISE. I WAS TOO SCARED LAST RUN. THIS RUN. WILL BE DIFFERENT.#again still waiting. but i really really wanted to show off/talk about the details!!!!!#i have sooooo many Thoughts behind this jacket like. an entire ideology. it almost feels like drag in a way#like! in the sense that there's a performance and art going on here. if my existence is inherently controversial#then i'm gonna lean into that. make you sit with that. and i'm NO LONGER CUTE ABOUT IT#<- guy who called himself cute yesterday bc I LOOKED REALLY GOOD. IT WAS AWESOME. OKAY#i forget i have a body and a face so much.#also! the cuffs!!! feel like a slight nod to the kink community. like. i really do feel like the demonization of kink#is the reason why so much. everything is so bad. i have thoughts about this but i can't fully articulate them rn#but like. points at the sign that says all queerness and esp queer expression is kink in the eyes of bigots#points at the sign that those are my friends you asshole. it might even be me. who knows....#any which way! really coming together! i do really need to get studs though i think. the. horrors.#and also i'll look sick as hell.#rn i feel it's... well. not exactly subtle but i am fortunate to live in a safe area. i live in mind your own business state.#not like. saying that to you i mean like that's the general attitude where i live LMFAOOO#the worst i've gotten is a lady saying 'god help you' to me in passing. and that was really recent#an indication of ohhh changing tides. unsettling. but also she couldn't even look me in the eye when she said that lmfao#any which way! i am thinking of my safety but also i do feel like i'm lucky enough to have time.#my jacket
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theflopwonder · 8 days ago
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Me, naively: Omg haha what if I wrote a fic abt the party at the fortress of solitude in superman/batman 26 as an excuse to do some Tim & Kon character study?
Me, after reading 4 separate comic runs from 4 different editorial teams who were OBVIOUSLY not talking to each other AT ALL to try and figure out the timeline & other logistics of this party: WHO THE FUCK FUCKED UP THIS HOUSE LIKE THIS GOOD GOD??????????
#long rant in the tags my fault guys#but#superman/batman LOVED to do this thing where they mentioned some major plot point from last issue#but that issue is connected to some grander larger story that has nothing to do w Tim or Kon directly#but bc it’s something they might talk abt now I have to read that whole arc#n I know what ur thinking omg Dionne why didn’t u check the wiki?#ITS LITERALLY NOT THERE#LEX WAS LITERALLY PRESUMED DEAD AFTER S/B ISSUE 6 AND THE WIKI MAKES NO MENTION OF IT ALL#this isn’t even COUNTING trying to figure out where the fuck they would have time for this in between dealing w deathstroke n saving raven#and skimming over that era of Robin to see what Tim has got going on#willingham era robin is better than Dixon at acknowledging Tim’s team presence but it’s still pretty annoying at points#and popping into the outsiders for a couple issues cuz the titans bother them every like … 8 issues#it would be funny if they weren’t nearly losing their lives n causing major property damage every single time#AND I had to do a quick green arrow drive by cuz I couldn’t tell if it would be accurate or not to have Mia there#and DONT GET ME STARTEDDDDDDDD ON THE FORTRESS#SOMETHING THE WIKI IS ALSO NOT HELPFUL WITH#sometimes i wonder why they thought it was smart to reboot post crisis#and then I open up the dc fandom wiki as greeted with the knowledge that Superfamily have not one or 2 but FOUR DIFFERENT FORTRESSES#they be destroying that shit every Tuesday??????#must also make mention cuz I know how yall get on here#I am not complaining bc I hate canon#in fact I am doing this out of love#research is my favorite part of the fic process after brainstorming#it’s just A LOT sometimes#and I VERY strongly believe that you can only play with canon when you actually know it#kon el#tim drake#timkon#deep diving into some comics? :) deep diving into some bitches? :(#in the most literal sense there is
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skunkes · 2 months ago
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biggest downside of not having many experiences or meeting many people is not having anything to feed into the art machine
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is-the-owl-video-cute · 9 months ago
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Iran is bombing Israel apparently, FAFO moment truly.
Both Biden and Trump are vowing to defend Israel with harsh military force against Iran.
If they follow through with it and the US moves against Iran, this will actually become a war.
Do not stop pressuring politicians to support Palestine. Do not stop advocating for Palestine. Do not stop protesting Israel. Do not stop protesting genocide.
From the river to the sea.
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professorjirt · 3 days ago
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listen it’s none of my business but when you say “Bilbo would have been better for taking the Ring” and then state “Frodo’s character was mishandled” I think maybe you like the Lord of the Rings inside your head more than the one actually written 💀 as if it wasn’t stated multiple times both in the text and by Tolkien himself why Frodo was the Ringbearer. Pleeeeeaaaase PLEEEEAAASE stop giving me gray hairs and take an interest in the text you read and it’s deeper meanings beyond power scaling characters, favoritism and finding the “most efficient way to take the ring to Mordor”. The debates about who should have taken the Ring are the exact same as “they should have flown the eagles to Mordor” except it’s spoken by people who genuinely are avid fans of the books and movies.
#frodo baggins#bilbo baggins#it’s so dire out here man#this was an actual opinion I just saw. unfortunately#at least it’s rarer now but I still see the incredible common opinion that Frodo ‘wasn’t the right person for the job’ or whatever#THATS NOT THE POINT…. PLEASE#why are there so many people who just don’t like Frodo. why don’t you like him. quickly.#is it because he fails. bc newsflash. EVERY SINGLE BEING ON MIDDLE EARTH THAT COULD TAKE THE RING WOULD HAVE FAILED. THATS THE POINT!!!!!!!#is it bc he’s not a typical ‘hero’s journey’ fighter?? bc then I have to ask if you absorbed the ‘I hate fighting and war’ sentiment at all#bc Tolkien tried to make it clear in each of his more ‘typical’ fighting heroes that the act of fighting did not elevate them over others#and that in many ways it was better to find peaceful solutions rather than violent ones.#would Bilbo have resisted more? hard to say!! he held the Ring for a VERY long time but at the same time the Ring wasn’t ‘awake’.#to Bilbo’s enduring credit he held that thing for 60 years before showing corruption#when others that touched the Ring showed corruption INSTANTLY#but at the same time when Sauron began to awaken it and call for it Bilbo DID in fact fall to its power!!#he wasn’t immune!!#neither was Samwise for that matter. no more than Frodo was!!!#augh. my heart hurts man#people give Frodo shit for being a gentle soul who suffered inward more than outward and not returning ‘victorious’#but he did all he could. he did all anyone could. why is that not enough for you people?#it was enough for Tolkien. it was enough for every wise being on Middle Earth. it was enough for those who understood the sacrifice.#Frodo isn’t even a ‘passive hero’. sure he gets a ton of stuff done TO him and his deeds aren’t as visible as other characters.#but every single step towards Mordor was a great action. the very act of carrying the Ring forward moves the story and quest along.#that is an active character. his actions (traveling forward despite bearing the Ring and Morgul wound) are integral to the story#you expect him to do that AND be slaying beasts and commanding others?? the same folly Boromir had. the same way the Ring tempted Sam#cmon. there’s a beautiful world and a beautiful story being told and you’re missing it. let me show you how beautiful it is.#making everything about a single character you favor even if it doesn’t make sense textually is a disservice to the story you enjoy.#the entire world and all the characters of lotr are so compelling even if you don’t like them!!! why ignore that?#it’s the world and people your character lives with!!! look at them!!
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numberonetribble · 17 days ago
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Stuck at my mom's house until the 27th, can't finish the comic I was working on until then :( here's a rough Cowboy!pinup sketch of Bumblebee and some Breakbee + Piston angst:
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#I'll delete this later i just want to talk about it :3#not featured: WHY Piston is pulling a [REDACTED] on their sire#rubbing my hands together like a fly ooooooh do i have some angst in the works for you guys i just don't have a perspective tool rl#Okay i had the idea of a cute Bumblebee and Breakdown in cowboy hats with a bonus piston but then i had an Idea#yes that but then follow up later when its time to pick a side piston does a cowboy accent very sadly like they have to pretend its not real#the REASON is s3 bee and break fighting in the dome and bee lost on his back with Break towering above him with a [REDACTED] pointed at him#and Piston is beating on the glass WAILING for them to stop#but the view point is slightly behind breaks so he's HUGE and bee is small and Piston is even smaller in the foreground#they stop fighting but Piston can not forgive their sire for that Piston took after Breaks they were thick as thieves but no no#they saw the look in his eye the fear in bee and he only stopped bc shockwave called him off yes he was hesitating to pull and shaking#like a leaf knowing he was being used like a rabid dog to take down the autobot he has to pretend to hate but Piston will always wonder#if he'd do it and they can't decide and it eats them alive but that's their carrier and forgiveness is not cheap#bumblebee does what he can to talk Piston down its just business he didn't really mean it they ve had centuries of faking it but Piston#oh sweet Piston childish days are over their spark has been hardened#they arent on a path of violence or vengeance but when breaks seeks them out “come with me we can be a real family on cybertron ”#piston says “we already were”#and later later we land on the So i guess that's it....i guess so.... you best get on out of here then#AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#does piston ever forgive? no but they understand things kinda get better but it's different now#i think they're scared that they'll end up like breaks bc they're so much like him they looked up to him and loved him so much#and now they know they have the capacity to do something like that and be used like that and they're scared#just so so so SO scared and it bothers them breaks was forced into it and they just want to SCREAM#they just want to run away with their parents away from the war where no one can bother them and live quietly#transformers#maccadam#transformers oc#tf piston#worry not i shall draw these once I'm home#but i have a laundry list of other things i want to draw first
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moiraimyths · 5 months ago
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
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#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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doomdoomofdoom · 24 days ago
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Every now and again I wonder if maybe all trans people face roughly the same amount of bigotry and one just gets more attention, but then i have to read terf posts and.
wow.
obviously every group of trans identities faces their own struggles and unique oppression but there's this incredibly vitriolic kind of hatred reserved for transfems and its sickening.
#ramble#trans#i have a lot of thoughts about terfs i wrote them down somewhere at some point but really theyre just misogyny all the way down#transmascs are poor misled little meow meows who dont realize they just have internalized misogyny. transfems are the embodyment of all evi#nonbinaries are... not talked about. because they ruin the bioessentialism if you think about it critically#to be fair any amount of critical thinking ruins bioessentialism#if gender isnt a social construct why do different societies have different versions of gender. do you never sit down and think for a momen#and like so much of the ideology is wasted hating individuals rather than the actual systems that produce them.#the sex worker thing pisses me off so much. how can you claim to protect women while you shit on the most vulnerable.#“sex work bad because no woman actually wants to do it” like even if that were true (it isnt) the problem wouldnt be sex work#the problem would be capitalism and people having to do things they dont want to make a living.#dismantle capitalism not gender neutral bathrooms#being a man isnt genetic and neither is being evil. the former at least has a genetic predisposition.#whether some people are born evil is like a massive philosophical debate on top of the socio-biological#and like. dont you have anything better to do in your feminism?#like actual problems to fight rather than someone down the street? what progress are you hoping for here?#were losing access to reproductive rights but hoo boy good thing we get to share a scapegoat with our oppressors? really?#theyre not gonna give you equal pay just because you refuse to engage with biology past the 6th grade.#actually im pretty sure we already covered some rudimentary sex/gender stuff in 6th grade but my school mightve been an outlier#definitely compared to the us school system but whatever the point stands#crimes against the gender convention#long ramble in the tags apparently#transgender#queer
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the-red-hoodlum · 10 days ago
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killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.
#MOTHERS FRIEND DOING THIS WITH OUR CAT RN IM PISSED.#SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE TOFU ANY TIME TO SNIFF OR ANYTHING??#Sigh.#tofu came downstairs to see what was up bc person was in the house#But person just immediately started petting her#even tho tofu was visibly uncomfortable and clearly just wanted a sniff test or sm#went to my room asap after that and tofu followed quick on my heels#obvs I let her sniff as much as she wants before petting her (if she even wants fuss) so she had a sniff and very much seemed to want fuss#so I gave her a few strokes and then sorta checked in and she swirled around and bumped her head into my hand (all the while her tail was#pointed straight up with the tip quivering a little every few moments - a sign of happiness/excitement to see a familiar person)#so we had cuddles for a bit until she hopped off my chest to go get water or sm :3#BUT I DONT GET WHY MORE PEOPLE DONT HAVE SIMPLE WHOLESOME INTERACTION WITH THEIR CAT LIKE THIS??#LIKE. CATS ARE SENTIENT. THEY SEEK AUTONOMY - ESPECIALLY BODILY AUTONOMY. WHY TF WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM GIVE/DENY CONSENT??#like. if you aren’t willing to learn enough about an animal to understand when it’s unhappy at the very least *why* would you interact with#one?? (This person literally has a cat as well.)#idk man these are the same sorts of people that’d probably do the ‘awww just give me a hug! I’m your auntie(/whatever)! why can’t i have a#hug? 🥺’ sorta thing.. like. BRO. It isn’t my/the cat ‘s fucking job to regulate/look after your own grown ass feelings.#SIGH..#just. The fact this person has like.. met tofu once. Lived in the same house as her for maybe 4/5 days one time and thinks the cat is#obligated to put up with her or whatever.#(This is how I imagine people be acting around cats when they’re like ‘idk man cats just don’t like me! Cats are just independent by nature#I’m just stood there having to listen to them shit talk a whole species bc they don’t understand consent (or at least don’t universally#value it - eg; with children; with animals) ANYWAYS. CATS ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES WHO HAVE DEVELOPED TO LIVE CLOSELY WITH AND DEPEND ON HUMANS#THEYRE OFTEN VERY AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING AND FORM LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR HUMANS AND WILL MOURN THEIR DEATH PROBABLY MORE THAN#HALF OF THE HUMANS WHO ATTENDED THEIR FUNERAL.)#If tofu doesn’t like you I don’t like you mate. I am wholeheartedly willing to cut people off if they act wrong with my cat - like - BRO.#IVE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN I HAVE MOST OTHER PPL IN MY LIFE. SHES GOT ME THROUGH WORSE AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY N EXCITED TO SEE ME.#That cat has done more for me than you ever have! She loves me with her whole fucking soul and I her with mine. If she picks up the wrong#vibes from you/you break any of her clearly set boundaries we are DONE.#(Obvs /nbh - nobody here. & generally lighthearted but uhh yeah needed to rant abt this bc I care strongly abt it and other ppl should too)
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everyryuujisuguro · 5 months ago
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#ryuji suguro#ryuuji suguro#ao no exorcist#blue exorcist#suguro ryuji#suguro ryuuji#manga ryuuji#bon suguro#chapter 63#shimane illuminati arc#i really like this moment and how ryuuji's standing here to quietly guard the door and wait for his moment to go in#he said he'd check on them and it's heavily implied he heard izumo's full breakdown and shouting match#it's likely he heard it at least#their two arcs get a lot of compare and contrast#but i think it's vital to understand that the two of them are coming at their arcs from opposite places#ryuuji goes into his upset because no one will let him in while demanding that he trust them and believe in them when they've shown#they won't do the same with him#rin wants him to trust him blindly but won't repay that trust with his own in them#even to the point that they don't know he can't tell them because he didn't even let them know his father was dead or a problem at all#he's upset at tatsuma refusing to take any responsibility and refusing to talk and refusing to explain why he pushes ryuuji away#and when he does find out the karura story he pushes to be included and leaned upon#he wants most of all to help and be a support to people he cares about#to the point he feels like a failure if they don't need or trust him#he doesn't even know how to live without being needed#izumo is the opposite#she has refused to ever let anyone close enough to need her ever again#because the people who she did hurt her and were taken from her#and she won't let herself be that weak ever again#she despises being needed and pushes against it#she wants purely businesslike relationships
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freakurodani · 3 months ago
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if you firmly established a boundary and you have mentioned that it bothered you when they didnt follow through, then they ignore (or ""forget"") again, are you allowed to be a petty bitch then?
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mortysmith · 24 days ago
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Fuck you season five episode nine genuinely some of the worst shit they clobbered together
#just thought abt ir again im suddenly overcome with a sense of hatred and disdain#evwrything about that episode feels so half assed. its just straight up poop from a butt#nick as a character is incredibly annoying and inconsistent. starts out as a tool for exposition(rick trainibg the crows and he tells morty-#how shitty he is. Gee Thanks we definitely couldnt have concluded that from seeing rick train the crows)#only for him to just switch to a huge asshole who wants everyone dead#like. ugh.hes just so surface level and boring and UNNECESSARY. i genuinely believe if he didnt exist the episode would be improved tenfold#because ill admit!!! i like(most of) the r&m scenes!!! their spats are well written!!! i think they should have been a bigger focus;!!!#and dont even get me started on that buzzwordy word salad annoying as fuck speech rick has before he leaves#its so. badly written. its so awkward and so out of character. it genuinely feels like the set up to a rug pull momeny#AND LISTEN!;;;;;!!!!! I DONT HATE THE CONCEPT OF A RICK AND MORTY SPLIT UP#but why do we not see any of it???? god. like we could and Should have had one(1) singular episode where they live their separate lives#show how theyre both doing worse or maybe BETTER without each other while still falling back into old toxic habits#like ok. u have a status quo and all that. but if u cant commit to your split up concept ... well maybe dont force it in as a plot point#that lasts maybe ten minutes in total.#FUUUUCCCCKKKK i hate this episode so much genuinely. i hate ricks speech so much.#ur telling me the worlds most emotionally constipated guy musters up the empathy to remove himself from the toxically codependent dynamic-#he created for his own comfort in one day. he learns all of that in twelve hours or less.#heres my impression of what rick's speech really would have looked like#“hey im gonna uh. spend some time with the crows. i think.”#and scene#god and what about beth. rick never says anything to the rest of thw family and when he shows up again no one gafs#omg okay. tldr lol fuck this episodw i genuinely hate it so much and nothing will ever make me like it
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demigod-of-the-agni · 5 months ago
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Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.
You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places
also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u
variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut
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tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste
[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]
#the burst of creativity that shot through me is indescribable. i can only hope this is a sign that i am FINALLY out of art block#but OF COURSE my creativity comes back right when gamsat is around the corner. it's always a fucking exam. i fucking hate myself#maybe this piece is supposed to be vent art at how I CANNOT MANAGE MY SHIT AND I AM JUST. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT !!#and i tell myself it's fine but maybe it's NOT fine? i told myself i'd work on it but nothing is getting worked on#nothing productive at all. not even for uni nor for myself. nothing is happening at all. it's just going through the days#waking up. wishing i'd slept more. stare at my laptop for hours. youtube. watch 10mins of lectures. then a nap. then the laptop. then sleep#but i dont and it pisses me off because nothing is working. i'm like if linguini lost his rat and i'm staring at the kitchen catching fire#maybe go to class if it's on for that day. scrambling notes together. pretending i DO have my shit together#i COULD put out the fire. but i'm not. i could and i can but im not. the extinguisher is in my hand. fire's not going out. i'm still here.#maybe. maybe that's why drk resonates with me so much. at the end of the day. maybe i am just a stupid bastard#-who can't get their act together. who actively shoots themselves in the foot and bleeds all over the place trying to make something happen#only this time- this time the perpetrator isn't someone i can point at and demand answers from. it's me hi i'm the problem it's me#and i can- i SHOULD find a way to make this all work. to make this whole Living My Life business work. but the extinguisher's in my hand#wow okay that was really heavy anyway uhhhhh TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGSSSSS#ffxiv#ff14#ffxivwol#ffxiv wol kalki#ffxiv dark knight#artoftheagni#and the fire keeps going#tw eyestrain#cw bright colors#idk the red is really bright and it;s nice for my eyes but idk for anyone else
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icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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