#why do bisexuals always have the WORST takes on the planet.

[swagging-back-to]

you are a straight woman in a heterosexual relationship fetishizing homophobia. maybe actually die. :)

[ovwechoes]

Can I get some Mauga headcanons 👉👈

Mauga / Maugaloa Malosi Headcanons (General) I'm happy to write some for him! I kept these general, mostly exploring him as a person but if you'd like some relationship-based ones (sfw or nsfw), send another ask through. Thank you for the rq anon, and enjoy (it's under the cut) c:

Which parent does Maugaloa prefer? Maugaloa's definitely a mama's boy, valuing the impact she made on his life and the level of confidence she's gave him. He knows his line of work would disappoint her, though, so he keeps it a secret, and makes an effort to lie and say he's enjoying his life while retired from wrestling. He also values the ways in which she holds him accountable, and has taught him lessons in love that have proven useful in his life more often than not.

Does Maugaloa have any phobias? Maugaloa would never admit to it, but he has thalassophobia (fear of the ocean/sea). He loves to watch it, often finding it beautiful from a safe distance. However, if he was asked to go diving, or to go in the water at the beach, he would refuse with adamance that can only be rivaled by a terrified child. Maugaloa's always hated the ocean after watching Jaws at too young of an age, and will not see reason behind it.

What is Maugaloa's sexuality? I like to headcanon him as being bisexual, with no preference. To him, if he finds someone attractive, he doesn't care if they're female, male or nb. He'll take what he can, and knows everyone is attracted to him as well. It's something he's happy to flaunt, and will often show off his escapades and one night stands with people across the gender spectrum. 

What would Maugaloa say to his past self, if he could go back in time and say one thing to them? Maugaloa would tell his past self that things get better, and that he'll find his purpose in life and come to love himself in a way that no one else could match. I like to think that he used to struggle with his confidence, often finding it hard to figure out what he's on the planet for. That's part of the reason why he got into wrestling, and found it to be something that gave his life some meaning and reason. Talon, though, has shown him more than anything else in life and has given him the chance to become the person he's always wanted to be and more, with a job that satisfies all of his urges and desires. He would want his past self to know this, and to know that they'll get what they want eventually as long as they're patient.

What are some of Maugaloa's worst habits? Maugaloa's worst habit is gloating, often treading the line between being confident and being the reincarnation of Narcissus. It's hard for him to understand what's appropriate, often not caring about that in the first place. So, when people get upset with him and mock his self-inflated words, he doesn't usually take offense until it's apparent that they don't view him the same as they did before. He wants to be able to let his actions speak for themselves, and let his prowess and strength speak above his words, but he enjoys the way his self empowered confidence shines through with his witty sentences and jabs at other people. One of his other less acknowledged bad habits is that he often struggles with prioritisation, and it's something even his mother has spoken to him about. He has a one track mind usually, but the minute something more engaging is placed on his plate, he forgets about his other obligations and priorities to take part in that said something. It's tiring for the people around him, often viewing it as a lack of respect or consideration and is definitely something he needs to work on with himself.

What does Maugaloa like to do in his spare time, when he's off from work? Maugaloa's definitely a gym rat in his spare time, spending hours trying to make himself stronger, faster, build his stamina up, things of that nature. His socials would be littered with shirtless pics of him after his body building sessions, showing off the way his muscles have grown since the last post. It's his way of indulging in his sporty interests, especially since he's been banned from the wrestling world completely. On the other hand, Maugaloa would be the type to read books about building your confidence, military tactics used in battle, and the ways to be a better leader. It's his way of working on himself to be a better soldier in Talon, and proves his determination to continue being stronger, working harder to exceed their expectations of him.

[talsiaa]

Coming Out

Pairing: Young!Remus Lupin x Reader (It’s more fem, but I try not to use many pronouns)

Warnings: None, it’s fluffy (i hope) :)

Word Count: 1,184

Summary: You’re finally ready to come out as bi to your wonderful boyfriend Remus Lupin but you’re scared of what he and everyone else will think of you.

A/N: this is purely because im bi so I hope it brings someone somewhere comfort? It’s not too long, I’m not used to writing for the marauders yet but I hope you enjoy it!

The Black Lake on a summer’s evening was one of your favourite sites, it really never got old. The soft amber and red glows of sunset reflecting from the calm waters made you feel cosy and safe, hence why you were sat there now, your back against a tree and a book in your hand. Although, you couldn’t quite focus on the words - your mind was instead racing with the possible outcomes of the conversation you were about to have with your adorable boyfriend, Mr Remus Lupin.

Yourself and Remus had been together since fourth year and now, in sixth year, you still feeel all giddy while you talk to him. You had always been nervous around him, even when you started dating, but it was a good nervous - the type where your stomach feels like its doing somersaults and your heart just won’t slow down because you’re so in love. This time however, you felt nervous like you were about to sit an exam you hadn’t revised for, your tummy was sinking with your heart drumming too loudly and it was just all overwhelming. Despite your body trying to tell you otherwise though, you knew you were ready to tell someone and that someone had to be Remus.

“Hey, dove,” Remus’ voice caught you off guard as you spiralled, making you jump a little but still force an uneasy smile at him as he sat down next to you. You couldn’t help but admire how beautiful he looked, especially with the golden sun rays dancing across his scarred nose, with his tie loosened and his uniform slightly askew. Usually he was, of course, very smartly dressed as an example to the younger years (he was a prefect, after all) so you enjoyed this, looking at him with his sleeves rolled up and his hair ruffled. Remus was another one of your favourite sites.

“Hey.” you tried to say, but it came out as a soft whisper as you pressed your lips together, hard. 

“Are you going to tell me why you’ve asked me on a top secret trip to the black lake?” he nudged you, both teasingly and apprehensively, not knowing why you were suddenly all quiet and jumpy. You took a deep breath.

“I need to talk to you, Rem.” you looked back at the Black Lake, trying to anchor yourself to this moment and prepare for the worst, setting your book down next to you.

“Oh Merlin,” he mumbled, causing you to look back at him. His face was full of fear now. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“What!?” You cupped both of his cheeks in your hands, moving onto your knees next to him. “No, no of course not. I love you, I’m definitely not breaking up with you.” his hand came up to hold your wrist and draw soothing circles on it while you lent forwards to lightly kiss his nose (it always brought out a beautiful smile from the lycanthrope). “It’s something I-I need to tell you,” 

You settled back down with your back to the tree but now Remus placed his arm around your shoulders, pulling you towards his so you could rest your head on his shoulders. His other hand still held yours, drawing different shapes onto your palm. 

“You can tell me anything, sweetheart. Promise,” Remus gave a quick kiss to the top of your head.

“You won’t be mad? O-or break up with me, or tell everybody or call me some awful name?” you stammered, knowing full well that Remus would never do anything your head was telling you he might. This only concerned Remus more, pulling you closer and stroking your hair as some tears started to fall down your face.

“I love you more than anything. I promise you I won’t be mad or break up with you or any of that. I don’t want to pressure you into telling me, though. If You want we could just go on a walk while the suns still setting?” how Remus found the words to make you feel so safe and loved every time was a complete mystery to you. He was simply perfect.

“Thank you.” you whispered, building up your courage to just tell him already. “I’ve been confused and frustrated with myself for a long while now. I didn’t fully understand certain thoughts and feelings and it made me miserable but since I figured it out - figured myself out - it’s something that feels so right and I just know this is what I’ve been lacking for ages now. I-It’s like a jigsaw puzzle and I’ve finally found the last piece and I want to be proud of it and I want the people I love and care about to know.” you filled your lungs with another deep breath. Remus just silently listening to you so intently, still caressing your hair and giving the occasional kiss to your head was just so comforting. Now that you were doing it, you were so glad. It felt very right. You lifted off of his shoulder, facing him and taking both his hands in yours, very confident in what you were saying. “Remus, I love you so much and I want you to know that this doesn’t change the way I feel about you one bit. I’m bisexual and I think that you deserve to be the first person I tell.”

Remus’ brows pushed together a little, his lips parting then pressing together again while he gave your hands a squeeze. “Darling, please tell me if I say something wrong, okay? I really, really don’t mean to, I just don’t know a lot about all of this.” he brought one of your hands up to press a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Firstly, is bisexual where you like men and women? Sorry for not knowing properly, I just-”

“Don’t worry, Rem.” you cut him off with a smile. It was the 70s after all, there was a massive stigma around LGBTQ+ and it wasn’t exactly taught about in schools (although 50 years later you would’ve thought it might have at least it’s own official section in PSHE). “I didn’t expect you to be an expert in all things gay and yeah pretty much.”

“Right, good. I understand. So secondly, I’m so glad that this is something that makes you feel whole and I’m so proud of you for telling me. I know that must not have been easy for you and I’m honoured I’m the first person to know. I love you so much and I just want you to be happy, above all else.” at this point you were overcome by so much joy that this had turned out so perfectly and pulled him closer to you for a kiss. It was quite possibly the best kiss you had ever had and you both poured so much love into it. 

“Thanks, Rem,” you said softly, pulling away from him.

“You’ve got nothing to thank me for, darling. You’re happy and that’s what matters.”

Godric, he’s literally the sweetest, most perfect person on the planet.

[unrestedjade]

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

[imagineyourworld]

Confession

Bi!Poe Dameron x Fem!Reader

Summary: Poe has something he needs to tell you. Based on a Jane the Virgin quote. 

Warnings: I don’t think there are any, but let me know if I missed anything

Check out my other work and what’s coming soon 

-------

You and Poe were something.  You wouldn’t say you were together, because you’d never had the conversation about being exclusive. But you were something, stuck in the awkward stage between friends and boyfriend and girlfriend. And maybe it was now your turn to take the next step and ask Poe what he wanted your relationship to be. These were the thoughts running through your head while you busied yourself while you were tinkering with the parts of a destroyed droid someone had dropped off earlier. But as if your thoughts had summoned him, you felt Poe’s hands on your shoulder. “Do you have a minute?”, he asked, while starting your tense muscles. It took you a moment before you could answer. Both because no matter how much closer the two of you had grown, Poe’s presence still had you tongue tied sometimes, which is why instead of words, a low moan escaped you when he hit a muscle that had been sore for days. “Do you really think it is wise to make such noises in the workshop, sweetheart? People might get the wrong idea of what we’re doing in here.” You knew you should care, usually you really did care about your reputation, but in that moment you needed nothing more than Poe’s hands working at your tense shoulders. “Let them”, you groaned, leaning further into his touch. You heard Poe chuckle behind you and after a few more moments he stopped massaging your tense shoulders to which you replied with a whine.  “Sorry, sweetheart. As much as I like hearing those sounds coming from your pretty mouth, I really need to talk to you.”  It was rare for Poe to be this serious, which is why you turned around to face him. His handsome face was solemn, but not enough for you to think that something bad had happened.  Maybe it’s finally time to talk about our relationship, you thought.  “Are you up for a picnic?”  Poe held up a small bag you hadn’t noticed before. A picnic had to be a good sign, it was something romantic, especially now that it was nearing sundown, so the chances that Poe would ask you to be his official girlfriend were quite good.  “Always. Is BB8 joining us?”  He shook his head, sending a few dark curls flying, which caused you to repress the urge to push them back. “Not today, I wanna be alone with you”, he said with a small smile before he added. “Are you okay with that?”  You smiled in return. What have you done to deserve an almost-boyfriend as sweet as Poe Dameron?  “I’m always okay being alone with you. More than okay, actually.”  His smile widened, as did yours when he grabbed your hand to pull you away from your workstation.  “Wait a second”, you laughed at his eagerness. “I still need to clean up a bit.”  As soon as Poe let go of your hand you missed the warmth, the way your hands fit perfectly together, but as much as you wanted to start your alone time as soon as possible, you couldn’t leave the tools and droid parts just laying there until tomorrow.  Putting everything away and in its place only took a few moments, but from the corner of your eyes you could see Poe getting impatient. He was fiddling with the ring around his neck, running a hand through his hair and stepping back and forth.  He really has no reason to be this nervous, considering how obvious my crush on him is, you thought as you shut the final drawer.  “I’m good to go”, you announced.  Poe stopped his pacing and took your hand in his again. The smile he sent you showed none of the nervousness you had seen just a few moments ago. 

-------

“This seems like a good place, don’t you think?”  You laughed as you looked around. Trees, bushes, grass and a few flowers here and there, the ‘good place’ looked like everywhere else on this planet.  “Sure, Poe. Just as good as the other three places you have already suggested.”  The two of you had been walking for about twenty minutes already, during which Poe had suggested multiple spots to have your picnic, but after a bit of consideration he had declared that there would be a better place further into the forest.  “This one has more of the purple flowers you like. You like the purple flowers, don’t you?”  As sweet as Poe’s behaviour was, you were getting a bit impatient. He had promised a picnic and you have been starving for a while now.  “I like the purple flowers very much, almost as much as I’d like to finally sit down and eat.”  Poe finally stopped investigating your surroundings to look at you. The look of concern on his face turned into one of regret.  “Of course! I invited you for a picnic, not a hike, after all.”  He opened his bag to pull out a small blanket, not much bigger than an average sized towel, which he laid down on the ground.  Before Poe had the chance to invite you to take a seat, you sat down. Poe followed shortly after.  Though you wouldn’t say it out loud, you were glad the blanket was so tiny, because it meant the two of you would be sitting closely together. So close, in fact, that your hips and thighs were pressed against one another.  As soon as he was seated next to you, Poe pulled out a small box, which he opened to reveal an assortment of fruit, and two glass bottles filled with water.  “It’s not much, we’re low on rations at the moment”, he tried to apologize, but you stopped him.  “It’s way better than the crappy stew I would have probably gotten in the mess”, you told him.  He chuckled as he handed you a fork and motioned for you to start eating.  You chose your favourite, which you just so happened to know was Poe’s least favourite, which was one more reason you were a match made in heaven. Similar enough to get along perfectly, but different enough to keep things interesting, though not so different that it would cause issues.  “So... How was your day?”  You raised an eyebrow, but Poe just kept chewing and looked at you expectantly.  “Is that really why you dragged me out here, to ask about my day? I was kinda under the impression that you wanted to talk about something a bit more... serious.”, you replied. And while you loved small talk with Poe was liked how much he really seemed to care about your day, you weren’t one for beating around the bush, at least not where the relationship between the two of you was concerned.  For a while Poe didn’t say a word. He avoided your glance, looking around and picking on a few blades of grass.  “I really like you”, he finally said. While those words made your heart beat just a little quicker, they weren’t exactly what you had been hoping for. You already knew that Poe liked you, you have been friends for quite some time after all, you had been hoping for something that would clarify his feelings just a little more. You contemplated replying to his statement, especially with the way he seemed to be staring into your soul now, but you decided to simply nod and let him continue.  “I like you as more than a friend. Damn it, I think I am falling in love with you, have been for quite some time in fact. You’re just so kind and funny and beautiful and- Where was I?”  This time you really did want to answer him, but his words have left you speechless. It might not have been the most romantic confession, but it was obvious that Poe was nervous and at least he had finally told you how he felt.  “Anyway”, he continued. “A reliable source told me that you like me as well.”  Before you could ask who it was, there weren’t many people you have told about your crush and you didn’t want to believe that one of them had revealed your secret, Poe shook his head.  “I’m not telling you who told me, it doesn’t matter anyway. What matters is that, well... I’d like us to be more than friends, I’d like us to be official and exclusive, but before I can ask you to be my girlfriend, I need to tell you something important.”  A thousand thoughts rushed through your head, none of them good. Maybe Poe was seriously ill and dying. Maybe he was being send on a dangerous mission he would probably not return from. Maybe he was in some other kind of danger.  “Wh- What is it?”, you finally managed to ask, your voice sounding coarse and scratchy. You took a sip of water your suddenly dry mouth a bit.  “I’ve been wanting to tell you this for quite some time now, but the timing was never right. But I want you to know this before I ask you to commit to me, because I think it’s kinda important. No, scratch that. I know it’s really important, at least to me and-”  You couldn’t take it anymore. Nothing Poe could say could ever be worse than what you’ve been imagining the past couple of minutes and though he seemed really nervous and it wasn’t fair to rush him into this confession, you just had to know.  “Just spit it out, Dameron!”, you demanded.  Poe ruffled through his hair with one hand, making it even messier than it had been before, and you couldn’t resist the urge to push it out of his face. Though you’ve touched his hair a couple of times now, it was always surprising just how incredibly soft it was, despite the standard shampoo everyone in the Resistance used. The same went for his skin, which you noticed as you cupped his cheek in your hand, while your other hand reached out to take Poe’s.  “Tell me”, you urged him. A lot softer than your earlier demand, hoping your gentle touch would help him tell you whatever it was that was weighing him down.  “I am bi. Bisexual I mean. Bi as in bisexual, not bi as in bye.” The first sentence has been said with some confident, but then he just started rambling.  The first emotion you felt was relief. You had expected the worst, but this, though it was news, was not bad new, simply unexpected. Though you still didn’t know what to say. What did people say when someone came out to them?  Poe must have felt that you were unsure about something, because he started pulling on the grass around him again.  And even though you didn’t know what to say, you knew not saying anything was the worse than uncertain rambling. So you reached out to take the hand that was playing with the grass in yours. Softly you stroked across his knuckles, before lifting his hand to your lips and pressing a soft kiss on it.  “Thank you for telling me, Poe. It means a lot that you trust me enough to tell me something so personal.”  He squeezed your hand and finally sent you a signature Poe Dameron smile.  “It’s not like it’s a secret, it just so happens that few people know and I didn’t want you to find out from anyone else.”  You nodded and only then did you notice that you were still holding hands, something that, now that most of the tension has dropped, made you blush.  And even though you really were happy that Poe had come out to you, that he wanted to come out to you in person and that he hadn’t delivered any bad new, part of you felt... weird. The insecure part of you had always questioned why Poe showed any interest in you, both as a friend and a romantic prospect, but now that you knew he wasn’t just interested in women these doubts slowly returned. The pool of people he could have feelings for, if you even dared thinking that he really did have the same feelings you did, had grown, there were so many others one might consider better choices, prettier, funnier, braver, cleverer, more-  “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”, Poe interrupted your thoughts.  Slowly you untangled your hand from his, and even though he resisted for a split second, Poe let you without a word.  “It’s just... I... Why me? You said that you liked me, that you wanted to be in a relationship with me, but why me? I’m just me. I’m not extraordinary, I spent most of my time tinkering with droid parts while you’re the life of every party, I’m not fun like Jessika or sweet like Finn or talented like Rey or-  Out of the corner of your eye you could see Poe reaching for you hand again, but he stopped himself in the last second. Instead he let out a soft “Hey” but you just continued your rambling.  “I cannot give you what a man could, physically. Maybe you’ll regret being with me and then-”  This time he did take your hand and thus made you shut up. Softly he stroked your hand, just like you had done earlier. He rested the other hand on your cheek, which forced you to look away from your shoes, which you had been starting at, and at him.  “It’s true, you cannot give me what a man can. But you cannot give me what another woman can, either. It’s you I want, and no one can compare to you.”  You knew you would say something stupid and cheesy, so you bit down on your bottom lip. An action that made Poe focus on your lips in a way that set off fireworks in you.  “Can I kiss you?”, he asked in a soft voice.  All you could do was nod slightly before he pressed his lips on yours. The kiss was a perfect mix between gentle and demanding, it was sweet and hot and just a bit teasing. That is until your hands found their way into Poe’s hair, which made him groan and deepen the kiss.  When you opened your eyes again you found yourself laying on the ground, with no idea when or how it had gotten that far, which Poe on top of you.  You lifted a finger to your still tingling lips and looked up at Poe with wide eyes.  “That was...”, you started, but interrupted yourself when you realized you had no idea how to finish that thought.  “Still worried I’ll miss out on anything?”, he asked in a teasing voice. Instead of answering you pulled him down to you again until your lips almost met.  “I might have to kiss you some more to make sure I am not missing out on anything”, you replied.  You could feel him smiling into the next kiss. And the next. And the one after that.  When you finally parted again Poe laid down next to your, your hands intertwined and his head resting on your shoulder.  “So... Does that mean you’re officially my girlfriend?”  The smile on your lips widened and you were glad that Poe couldn’t see the colour rising to your cheeks from where he was laying.  “I’d love to, boyfriend.”  He squeezed your hand again, a feeling that was becoming more familiar with each passing second, and a simple gesture that told you how much your answer meant to him, how much you meant to him. 

-------

I’ve been wanting to write something like this for quite some time now, but it has proven to be more difficult than I imagined. I really wanted to use the Jane the Virgin quote because I just really liked how it defined being attracted to multiple genders and addresses the doubt some people might have when dating someone who is bi/pan/etc. 

I really hope I managed to handle the topic well, but please let me know if there’s anything I should edit, because even though I myself am starting to think that I might be bisexual, I also know that I have a lot to learn. Just please be nice about it and remember that I did not mean to be offensive in any way, but rather supportive. 

Also let me know if anyone is interested in a similar scenario with a male reader. I’ve wanted to make this genderneutral, but since I really wanted to include the quote that made it difficult, but I don’t want anyone to feel left out, so if there is an interest I’m open to writing for a male (or any other gender) reader. 

And also please don’t attack me for making Poe bi. I know different people picture him as having different sexual orientations, but I personally like to believe that he is bi.   

[nostalgia-tblr]

some Voyager Hot Takes from my current rewatch

- I don't know why people complain about Janeway so much she's not even that inconsistent if you assume she uses things like the Prime Directive as excuses to do what feels right to her anyway? And the self-destructive streak is totes canonical what with her massive guilt. I mean the entire premise of the show is her making a choice that gets them stuck in Far Away and then her arc throughout it is her trying to cope with that while knowing that every time someone die there it kind of actually is her fault in an indirect way. - I dig Tom Paris more this time round, with his terrible parent and his lack of optimism. Which doesn't seem like natural pessimism but like a learned fear of hoping things will go well for him. Also it occurs to me so belatedly that Tom/B'Elanna is a genius pairing because they're both fuckups who have learned to expect the worst and they both make terrible decisions when they're upset. It's all sparks and edges, isn't it? I bet the fic is mostly the boring kind of fluff :( - You can tell when that one producer/writer that was hecking into Janeway/Chakotay left, can't you? Also I had always remembered that they pointedly didn't shag on That Planet With The Monkey but actually it's deliberately ambiguous innit? You could go either way on it and not be definitively wrong. - No, Chakotay really is astonishingly dull, it's partly the lack of acting and partly that someone somewhere has written "is a bit serene" as his entire character bio (I assume). Which I think you can make work in fic if you just run with it and take it as something would annoy other people. You just have to make it a character thing that he has no facial expressions, - My own view of Janeway/Chakotay is "she could do way better but hey if that's really what she wants then she can have it I love her and will provide for her every desire," plus that thing I was saying about how the repressed yearnings that go nowhere is a large part of what appeal it has for me. I like when characters angst too much to get things done. - Harry Kim is great but much better when he's angst-ridden which doesn't happen nearly enough. (I could do DS9 Hot Takes but today's is just that wow Ezri/Julian was appallingly written and not even that well acted. It's a very half-arsed make them a couple at the last possible minute. I can see why the fandom generally seems to assume they broke up about a week after the final episode. At least Julian/Jadzia had that thing where they're both promiscuous bisexuals so they had something in common.)

[rantingcrocodile]

I genuinely don't know why I hate being bi. like i haven't seen anyone say anything bad about us. lesbians seem to accept us and most straight people don't care about us, so why do I feel so awful? I've always known I liked women even when I was an extremely homophobic teen (like the slur using, conversion therapy advocate kind that didn't even try to hide my bigotry) and i didn't really care because I could just hide it and pretend to be straight while shitting on both gay and bi people (Yes I hated bi people too) but when I got over my immature homophobia then started to take my bisexuality more seriously, I hated myself and I don't know why. Am I still a bigot? Do I still hate gay and bi people? I truly do not know anymore.

You say that you haven't seen anyone say anything bad about us, but you didn't become an extremely homophobic and biphobic teen out of nowhere. Bigotry is learned, not innate.

What you're saying is all of that, but what I'm hearing is something like:

"I've always known that I was bisexual, but I was as homophobic and biphobic as possible to make it more believable that I was straight and "normal." I keep telling myself that I was being edgy and didn't really care about anything, but now that I'm a bit older, that lie and horrible coping mechanism is gone, so now all I have is the internalised biphobia and I don't know what to do with it."

Coming to that realisation after that evil kind of behaviour is a lot of guilt mixed in with that internalised biphobia. You need to face what you did, think about when and why that started, remember the people that you hurt along the way and recognise how much that was hurting yourself, too.

You can say that you "didn't care," but you were actively closeting yourself and doing everything possible to side with the worst of our joint LGB oppressors to "help" hide that. Consciously you can tell yourself that that wasn't a big deal, but subconsciously, that takes a toll. Every time you used a slur and every time you promoted conversion therapy, you were outwardly attacking someone else, but you were also internalising that to apply it to your true self, too. It's a real kind of serious self-sabotage.

Are you still a bigot? I don't know, because I don't know you and I don't know the thoughts that you keep to yourself. Have you come to terms with the harm that you promoted when you were a teenager? Have you fully understood why those behaviours were completely abhorrent? Have you grown as a person? Do you feel guilt when you look back at what you said and did? Have you tried to make amends for those things?

I sincerely recommend looking into LGB history, studying homophobia and biphobia and the different kinds of oppression we face and really challenge the ideas that you internalised.

It's a long, difficult process, but I genuinely believe that every single person on the planet can change and grow into someone better if they put the work in and want it. I have faith in you!

[lovelyirony]

@ad1thi and i were having a very enlightening conversation, aka Tony’s bisexual and doesn’t realize it. it was fun! 

When Rhodey first sleeps with Tony, it’s incredibly amazing. They had been talking, getting shakes late at night, and Tony suddenly asks if they can take this upstairs. 

Here’s the problem: Tony doesn’t realize that you can like both guys and girls. 

So when they wake up, and Tony says “You know I’m not gay, right?” 

Rhodey’s kind of in shock. Because he laughs. It’s a funny joke. He literally just slept with Rhodey, and while Rhodey’s still a young guy, he can confidently say that Tony will probably always be in his Top Five. 

Tony’s reasoning is that he still likes women. Rhodey is not completely confident that Tony knows what bisexuality is. 

“You know that you can like both, right?” Rhodey says.

Tony blinks. 

“Let’s not talk about this for another five years. Can you do that thing again with your tongue?” 

Rhodey shrugs. 

Yeah, sure, they can wait. Tony has pretty eyes, Rhodey would prefer to get lost in them. Besides, Tony will figure it out in time. 

About three months later, Tony comes back from a meeting, strange look on his face. 

“Rhodey, did you know about bisexuality?” 

“Considering I’m dating one, yes,” Rhodey says. 

Tony stills. 

“You’re dating someone?” he asks. “Who? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Rhodey snorts. 

“Tony, you are adorable. You, honey. I’m dating you.” 

“We’re dating?” 

“Considering you always kiss me and hold my hand and call me nicknames and you’ve met my family? Yeah, we’ve been dating.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I figured you’d figure it out. You also told me not to talk about it for five years. So I wasn’t gonna push my luck.” 

Tony pushes his shoulder. 

“Ugh, you suck.” 

“As of last night, that was definitely not true--” 

“Gross!” Tony declares. “Gross! Also, Bruce wants to know if you’re coming to the improv show. Apparently he and Thor are gonna do something really funny with some of the audience prompts.” 

“Yeah, of course I will,” Rhodey says. “Wanna get dinner before?” 

“Already told Nat I would. Apparently she’s bringing a new friend.” 

“A friend she’s interested in?” 

“No, a girl she said eviscerated all of the business guys in her class. She says we’ll like her, especially you.” 

“Interesting,” Tony says. “We’ll have to see her. Any name yet?” 

“I think Virginia.” 

“I’m going to ask her if she has a nickname.” 

- 

Virginia Potts is not exactly sure why Natasha asked her how she felt about chaos. 

“Why?” 

“You’re about to meet it in human form.” 

She did not think that the guy in the hoodie with a bouquet of flowers on front and the guy next to him in a plain white t-shirt were chaos. 

At least, that’s until the guy in the hoodie flings a grape across the cafeteria and lands it in someone else’s drink. 

“I’m playing God,” he announces. He zeroes in on Pepper. “Goodness, you look like a goddess.” 

Pepper stills. 

“You’re always like this, huh?” 

“He is,” the guy in the white t-shirt announces. “I’m Rhodey. That’s Tony.” 

“I am literally never going to call you Virginia, I think it’s stupid that you were named after a state.” 

“It’s a family name.” 

“Even worse!” Tony says brightly. 

“He doesn’t mean that,” Rhodey says hurriedly. 

“No, he’s definitely right,” Virginia says. “I hate it. I just don’t wanna go by Ginny because then everyone asks if I like Harry Potter.” 

“Struggles,” Rhodey nods. “I understand. My dad wanted me to go by Jim. I wasn’t aware I was supposed to be eighty right now.” 

Tony snorts. 

“Sit down for now. We shall figure out your nickname in time.” 

They figure out the nickname ten minutes later when Pepper is trying to shake some pepper and salt into her soup and the lid to the pepper shaker falls off and dumps the whole container into her soup. 

“Pepper,” Tony decides. “It’s Pepper.” 

“No.” 

“It is kinda catchy,” Nat admits. 

Pepper it is. 

Despite the fact that she wasn’t exactly fond of the nickname, it sticks. She puts it on assignments, goes by it, and when she loses her college ID, changes the name on it to Pepper. 

“So I was right,” Tony says smugly after the improv show one night. “You do like it.” 

“You’re never allowed to brag again,” Pepper warns. “But yes, I do like it. Now pass me my jacket, it’s cold out.” 

The weirdest part to this whole...thing is that she gets crushes. On both Rhodey and Tony, and she is quite sure they’re dating, although sometimes they both flirt with her, and yeah that feels nice. But she’s not sure if they mean it. 

- 

Meanwhile, Rhodey is having a Crisis. And he’s not the one known for having crises, because that is Tony’s part of the roommate contract. Tony has the crises every two months, and usually about something like his nonexistent problem with his grades or something along the lines of family. 

Rhodey had a crush. On Pepper. Which he should’ve been expecting, because she’s...well, she’s herself. Pepper is most likely the most capable human on the planet, has worn high heels to a full day of classes and not complained once, and can get Tony out of the lab with absolutely no bribery, which was thought to be impossible. 

So he is having himself a bit of a crisis. Because he doesn’t want to stop dating Tony. Tony’s his whole entire world, and he can’t imagine life without him. But on the other hand, Pepper could also be his whole entire world, and he can’t imagine life without her. 

He brings this up to Tony over a lunch at the dining hall. 

“You too?” Tony asks. “Thank god, I didn’t want to break up at MacGyver’s Dive.” 

“You were planning it to be there? I like there!” 

“I know. But I hate it there, so I was planning on being petty as fuck.” 

- 

So it goes. They both come to the mutual decision to ask Pepper out on a date. This is all sorts of nerve-wracking because they want to treat Pepper nicely but she has seen both of them at their absolutely worst fashion choices. 

She’s seen Rhodey wear neon green, which is essentially a war crime in the making. 

You can imagine the sort of stress they are under. 

- 

But it starts with asking her to an evening coffee at a little cafe not too far from campus. 

“What’s the occasion?” Pepper asks. 

“What, can’t treat one of our favorite people on earth to the best coffee on earth?” 

Pepper blushes rather prettily as she sits. Rhodey gets their coffee, and Tony entertains Pepper with a new story about the weird guy on his dorm floor that keeps decorating random doors with different animation characters as part of a school project. 

They all sit comfortably, talking about life and school and the stupid people in Pepper’s communication classes. 

There’s an ease of silence that overtakes them. It’s forty minutes to closing. They need to say what they need to say. 

“So, um,” Tony says. 

Pepper breathes. 

“I like you both,” she says. “And I really wanna see if you guys wanna date.” 

“This makes this so much easier,” Rhodey says. “Tony and I like you, we were gonna ask if you would go to the movie night at the student center on Friday.” 

Pepper grins. 

“Of course I’d like to. Grab dinner before?” 

“Unless you want me to bring soup to the movies? Of course,” Tony says, smiling. 

They go out of the coffee shop with hearts a little lighter, eyes a little brighter. 

[avengerscompound]

The Hamptons’ House: 2003 - 1

The Hamptons’ House:  A Iron Man Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a coffee with Ko-fi Word Count: 2511

Pairing:  Tony Stark x F!Reader

Warnings:  Smut (MFFF bisexual fourway, oral sex, vaginal sex, daisy chain, face sitting, come play)

Synopsis: You and Tony meet up again for your week again.  You both look forward to spending the time together,  but when it becomes clear Tony’s life is spiraling out of control, you wonder how many more of these meetups you’re going to get.

2003: Part 1

It was strange how as you got older the time between parties seemed to be getting shorter.  Three years was three years yet somehow as you turned your rental car into the driveway of Tony’s Hamptons’ house it felt like you’d only left a few weeks ago.

Not that a lot hadn’t happened in those years.  A lot had happened, but the time might have flown by so fast simply due to half of it being experienced in that half-awake, living zombie phase of new parenthood.

Brody was born on the tenth of February 2001.  While you and Kurt had been thrown into the life of new parenthood, the world had been thrown into turmoil thanks to terrorist attacks and the now named ‘war on terror’.  Stark Industries were booming because of it and he was now listed as one of the top ten richest people on the planet.  Not that that had changed very much.  He had always been obscenely rich but he was still just your Tony.

When you sent him an email telling him about Brody’s birth with photos attached he’d sent you the biggest bouquet you'd ever seen with a blue teddy bear that had Brody and his date of birth embroidered on the foot.

You put the car into park and got out, grabbing your bag from the back.  It was still very early.  A catering van sat at the door and people were unloading things from it under the watchful eye of Happy and the DJ had his station wagon parked beside your ford focus rental, unloading his equipment.

You made your way to the door and Happy grinned at you when he saw you.  “Hey, Cookie,” he said, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek.  “You're early.”

“Yeah, my flight just got in,” you said.  “Figured Tony wouldn't mind if I came early and used his shower.”

Some caterers squeezed passed you holding large trays of vegetables and Happy tickets something off a chart.  “The boss is in his room, I'm sure he won't care if you go straight up.”

“Thanks, Hap,” you said, heading inside.  “It’s good to see you.”

As you passed through the hall you saw Tony’s assistant Pepper overseeing the restocking of the bar.  He had been so sure she hated him and yet three years on and she was still working for him.

You went through the kitchen and up the secret staircase.  Tony was hunched over his desk that looked out over the ocean working on a circuit board.  He was wearing socks and a robe and beside him was an open bottle of Glenfiddich beside an almost empty glass.

You dropped your bag by the bed and approached him.  He was so absorbed in what he was doing he hadn’t even looked up.  You ran your hands over his shoulders and wrapped them around him.

“Woah…” Tony yelped and spun around, making you jump back a little to avoid getting kicked.  “Cookie!  You’re early!”

“I am,” you said.  “You gonna beat me up?”

“You surprised me,” he said, taking your hand and pulling you closer.  “I thought one of the cleaners was trying to get fresh with me.”

You straddled his lap and he ran his hands up your back as he looked up at you.  “Nope, just me.  What are you doing?”

“Oh,” he said looking over his shoulder.  “I’ve been working on creating an AI that can run the house.  I had an idea for it, and I thought I’d see if I could work on it here, but this stuff is all 15 years old.  So then I was looking at one of the things I was working on fifteen years ago…”  He shook his head.  “You know what?  I have no idea.  Where’s Kurt?”

“He’s taken Brody to his parents for the week,” you answered.  There had been talk about both of you coming again, but Brody was only two and so far, while you’d had nights off where you had someone babysitting, you’d never had any time off alone and Kurt had only had a few work trips that had taken him out of town.  You didn’t want to waste your first week away together, not actually together.

“Brody?”  Tony asked.

“Yeah,” you said, furrowing your brow.   “You know?  My son?  The one I had about nine months after I last saw you?”

“Whoa…”  Tony said, that same shock in his voice as when you’d come up behind him.  He pushed you off his lap and got up and started pacing.  “Wait?  You… we… is he…”  He stopped and looked at you and you tried not to break down into hysterical laughter.  “Is he?”

“Tony,” you said, shaking your head and trying to sound somber.

“Oh my god,” Tony said, running his hands through his hair.  “He is, isn't he?  He’s mine?”

You couldn’t hold it.  You burst out laughing and came over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist.  “I was pregnant when you last saw me.  Remember?  I was throwing up every day?”

“Oh… yeah, right,” Tony said, leaning into you slightly.  “I completely forgot.  You sent pictures right?”

“Yes, I did,” you said, poking his side.  “And you sent me flowers.”

“Well, to be fair,” Tony said, running his hands up your back.  “That was Pepper.”

“You’re the worst,” you teased and brought your lips to his.  As you kissed deeply and a little sloppily you became aware exactly why Tony had forgotten about your son.  He tasted strongly of Scotch.  He’d been drinking a lot last time too, it was likely that anything that didn’t affect his day-to-day life was being shuffled into a part of his brain he didn’t access much.

He pulled back and spanked your ass.  “Why are you here so early?”

“Just when the plane got in,” you said.  “I thought I’d grab some lunch, have a nap, and then get ready for the party.  I have the sluttiest dress packed.”

Tony smirked.  “That’s what I like to hear,” he teased.  “Let’s do it.  This place is as much yours as it is mine these days.”

After you napped you took a shower and came out in your towel to find Pepper helping Tony with a pair of cufflinks and going through the list of things he’d wanted at the party.  She looked over to you and smiled before focussing her attention back on Tony.  “The cleaners will be here tomorrow morning, then you’ll have one come through every day until you leave.  On the last day they’ll come and clean and pack up the house,” she said.

“Thank you, Pepper,” Tony said.  “What would I do without you.”

“Starve in your own filth?”  She teased.  “Okay, you two.  Have fun.  I’ll be in Cabo.  So don’t call me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Tony said.  “Enjoy yourself.”

Pepper headed back down the stairs and you started to get ready, starting with doing your hair.  “Come on, slowpoke, we have an orgy to attend.”

“You just sit tight,” you teased.  “You’re gonna get your dick sucked soon enough.”

Tony burst out laughing and flopped down on the edge of the bed, watching as you got ready.

“You’re putting a bra on?”  Tony asked as you put on your matching black lace thong and bra.

“Gravity has started to betray me, Tony,” you said.

“I’m just going to take it off,” he teased.

You laughed and stepped into your dress.  It was loose fit and asymmetrical in shimmering silver and black fabric.  You paired it with a strappy silver heel and Tony got up off the bed.  “Finally!”  He huffed, offering you his elbow.

You giggled and hooked his arm through his and the two of you went downstairs.  The party was in full swing when the two of you entered and there were shouts of ‘happy birthday’ to Tony as he made his way to the bar.  It was just a party so far.  People were drinking and dancing.  A large group had already collected around the pool and a handful were swimming.

Tony got himself a Macallan neat while you got a cosmo.  You stuck with Tony as he mingled with people.  He was royalty in this group of friends, acquaintances, and people who just wanted a chance to touch celebrity, and because he was royalty, you were royalty by association.  It was a nice feeling but not one you particularly wanted to extend and you wondered why you’d never noticed it until this trip.  Tony had always been the center of attention of course, but it never felt like you were part of that.  Perhaps it was because most of the time you arrived well after the party started.  The guests at these events changed a lot each time, but there were people you recognized and names you knew.  Perhaps people knew that Tony considered you special because it always started with you and him.

As people seemed to start things up and other women began to hang off Tony he pulled you close to him and brought his lips to your ear.  “What are we feeling tonight, cookie?”

“It's been a while since I’ve been with another woman,” you said.  “But I'm open to suggestions.”

“Nope,” Tony said and pulled one of the women who had gathered around you closer to him. “Annie, Lilli, shall we?”

The two women closest to him giggled and Annie took hold of Tony’s tie and led him to one of the downstairs bedrooms. She pulled him close and began to undress him as Tony kissed her neck and ran his hands up under your skirt.

You and Lilli turned to each other and began to kiss and slowly undress each other.  Not that there was too much to undress.  You were both completely naked before Tony even had his pants off.

The two of you moved to the bed and you guided her back on the mattress as you kissed her deeply.  You each ground on the other’s thigh as your tongues circled together.  Annie pushed Tony down on the bed and kneeled between his legs pulling his cock free from his pants.  You slowly began to crawl down Lilli’s body, kissing a trail down her skin as you moved further and further down.  You paused at her breasts, sucking and biting at her nipples as you rolled your hips on her thigh.  She mewled and arched her back, grabbing the headboard as her cunt flooded and smeared on your skin.  When both her nipples were like hard pebbles you moved down lower.

You kissed along her hips and flattened your tongue, running it up her cunt.  The tart musk of her sex filled your senses and your both moaned in unison.  Tony lay back on the bed, his head landing between your legs, and began to suck hungrily on your cunt.  You groaned into Lilli’s pussy, keeping your focus on her, drinking up her juices as she rocked against your face.  The four of you formed a chain down the bed, beginning with Lilli as she gripped the headboard and writhed under you and ending with Annie who was bobbing her head up and down on Tony’s cock.  You pushed two fingers inside of her and began to fuck her with them.  She dripped for you, her arousal ran from her, down your wrist in rivulets.  You drank up what you could and as your fingers worked over the soft spongy spot inside her, her walls began to spasm around your fingers.  Her moans got louder, drowning out the muffled moans you made into your cunt.

With a loud cry and a jerk of her hips, she came on your face.  You sat up and climbed off of Tony’s face.  He looked up at you with a smirk and took Annie’s hand and guided her up.  “Ladies,” he said.  “Start without me.”

The three of you formed a daisy chain on the bed, your head between Annie’s legs, Lilli’s between yours, and Annie’s between Lilli’s.  As the three of you began to suck and finger each other’s cunts, Tony moved around the edge of the bed, watching closely as he pumped his cock.  He grabbed a condom from the bowl and rolled it on as the three of you brought each other closer and closer to the edge.

Your senses were overwhelmed.  It was like they were all being stimulated at once, with the scent and taste of Annie’s cunt, the sounds of their moans, and the way Lilli was expertly working your g-spot.  Tony moved up behind you and Lilli pulled away from your cunt and started sucking his cock.  You moaned needily into Annie’s cunt and bucked your hips.  A moment later, Tony’s cock was pressed at your entrance and he thrust hard inside you.  You gasped and dug your fingers into Annie’s thighs from the sudden intrusion.  Annie began to rock her pussy on your face as you lapped at her clit eagerly and thrust two fingers inside you.  As Tony fucked your cunt, Lilli sucked on your clit.

You began to fall apart between them.  Your whole body buzzed and your clit began to twitch.  Your breath became more and ragged and your head became fuzzy and with a loud cry, you came hard, bucking back against Tony.

Tony pulled out and moved around to Annie, changing condoms as he did.  He thrust into her and began fucking her hard.  You kept flicking your tongue around the base of his cock and her clit.  She was already close before Tony began to fuck her and it wasn’t long before her muscles started tensing and her legs began to shake.  Tony’s breath was coming in labored and you spanked his ass as you nipped at Annie’s clit.  She cried out loudly and came, her whole body shuddering with it.

Tony pulled out and moved again and this time you and Annie did too.  You both sat on either side of Lilli and as you leaned down and began to lick at her clit, Annie sucked and bit at  Lilli’s breasts.  Lilli rolled her hips in time with the thrust of Tony’s hips and arched her back off the mattress.

“Fuck,” Tony groaned.  “You girls are so fucking hot.”

“Cum on my tits, Mister Stark,” Lilli begged, reaching up and holding his wrist.

His hips began to stutter and you focused on her clit, rubbing it harder to bring her along too.  She jerked up and cried out, gushing around Tony’s cock.  Tony pulled out and tossed the condom aside as he jerked his cock hard and with a groan, he came in hot ribbons over Lilli’s tits.

She hummed happily and ran her fingers through the mess and Annie leaned in and licked it up.

Tony smirked at you and held out his hand.

“Cake?”  You asked as you let him help you to your feet.

“You know me so well,” he chuckled and pulled you into a deep kiss.

// NEXT

[starkerparkerpony]

AU where Tony (44-45 y/o) meets an aged up (23-24 y/o) Peter after Civil War, Tony is broken up with Pepper and all kinds of sorry for himself. Peter is a ESU graduate and currently has an internship with Oscorp and is a photographer for the Daily Bugle he is also spiderman and therefore perpetually exhausted and has very little patience.

(It's been a while since I wrote something, please consider reblogging)

I scold because I stan

Tony was starting to get sick of himself.

The self hatred and self pity were starting to crescendo, which was shedding a lot of light on how he got to and where Tony currently was in his life.

Spangle's betrayal shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.

The breakup with Pepper shouldn't have been as painful as it was.

He shouldn't miss the team as much as he did.

Vision injuring Rhodey shouldn't have felt like a personal failure but it did.

Speaking of personal failures, the accords shouldn't have scattered more than half of the planet's protectors in the wind all while labeling them 'war criminals' but they had.

And Tony was sick of himself because his centrally heated penthouse shouldn't be haunted by a Serbian cold but it was.

Because his heartbeat shouldn't feel like someone trying to jackhammer the arc reactor into his sternum sometimes... but it did.

So he decided to go out because his inner 'self hatred' voice was starting to sound too much like his father and that was about the last straw for Tony.

A baseball cap, coat and muffler later, Tony Stark was roaming the streets of New York but then it was too fucking cold for that so he quickly ducked into a cozy looking Irish pub.

He quickly scanned the place for a place to sit, it was pretty packed except for a booth which was occupied by one person who had their head down on the table and appeared to be, best case scenario, dozing off or worst case scenario, passed out.

Appropriate company for the kind of evening he was having he thought to himself as he made his way to the booth.

A waiter came to take his order and Tony took it upon himself to order a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. If he was gonna get hammered in a public place against all good sense then atleast he was gonna do it with some company... even if said company was seemingly unconscious.

When the waiter put down the glasses, his boothmate woke up. And Tony was confronted with a gorgeous guy with stunning brown eyes, he was sporting a rather sizable shiner over his left one but it did absolutely nothing to detract from his attractiveness.

"Jesus Christ... are you actually Tony Stark? Or am I hallucinating?" The guy asked quietly.

"I was hoping you wouldn't recognize me." Tony wrinkled his nose as he admitted.

"That's either a scathing comment on your perception of the general public's intellect or humility which absolutely does not go with the reputation that precedes you," the guy scoffed.

Huh... he's sharp and quick Tony thought.

"A little bit of both. The hat usually, miraculously works." Tony explained

"Don't judge me but I've had an entire wall dedicated to your face ever since your first Rolling Stone cover... the hat wasn't gonna work on me."

"That's a lot to unpack from a stranger"

"I'm Peter Parker."

"You know who I am."

Peter's face split into an overjoyed smile when Tony said that. It was a ridiculous 'only in New York' kinda thing to find yourself in the same booth as Iron Man in your local pub and Peter really needed this after the day he'd had. He was still completely terrified that at any moment Tony would accuse him of being Spiderman and make him sign the accords but he was also gonna let himself relax and enjoy meeting his hero a little.

"I'm not a billionaire expert but shouldn't you be drinking at a much upper scale place than this?" As amazed as he was, Peter was also perplexed by Tony's presence in the pub.

"There's a lot about me that absolutely does not go with the reputation that precedes me. You just admitted to me that you have a wall dedicated to my face and then brushed past it like it was nothing..." Tony said, incredulous.

"You're pretty, you're an amazing scientist, you build robots and are a superhero because of a badass armour you made that can fly. I'm a nerd and bisexual, it's is nothing, just nature basically," Peter waved him off as he started to pour the whiskey for them.

Surprisingly enough Tony's cheeks were a little flushed by the time Peter looked up, which made him think that maybe there isn't much accurate about the reputation that precedes Tony Stark.

"Hmm... who did that to your face?" Tony asked about the shiner Peter was sporting.

"Umm... a girl was getting mugged, I tried to play hero, you should see the other guy as the saying goes" Peter shrugged.

"Wow good for you... could've ended badly though." Tony's chest was unexpectedly and rather worryingly tight hearing about the danger Peter had been in.

"I know... I lost a loved one to a mugging gone wrong but the girl needed help, I didn't really have a choice."

It was like hearing those words was the straw that broke the camel's back for Tony. Because he completely understood what Peter meant. Tony never really felt like he had a choice either and whether or not Peter was ready to have a lot of information about the Avengers and his 'face wall' buddy Iron Man's wretched life choices, he was gonna be vented at like there was no tomorrow. Because Stark men don't go to therapy, they drink and speak very fast at unsuspecting civilians.

So Tony talked and Peter listened, about how the star spangled man with a plan is a fucking douchebag, how fucking hurt he felt that Nat, Clint and Wanda would still choose him over Tony, how he hasn't been able to look Rhodey in the eye since Germany and probably never will be, how easily things fell apart with Pepper even after he tried so hard, how the winter soldier fucking killed his mom and fucking spangles hid it from him, how he probably deserved it because that poor kid that got killed in Sokovia because of him... and as Tony talked he also drank so he was feeling pretty buzzed by the time he was done talking thankfully Peter was drinking right along with him.

It wasn't really a conversation, rather Iron Man just venting to him... he did notice a pattern though, everything Tony complained about, he tied up the line of thought with ultimately blaming himself for it.

Peter had always felt a certain kinship with the guy... but this man telling him how helpless his power had made him to the massive responsibility that came along with it, hit too close to home.

"Are you always this self loathe-y or is this just a today thing?" Peter asked when Tony stopped talking

"What? I don't... what?"

"Buddy... Captain America, if he really did to you what you say he did... then who gives a shit? He's an asshole. And I'm not even a supporter of the accords but even I think that the Rogues could have handled it in a better way...

No seriously, there's way more enhanced folks in this country than just the Avengers, some of them are minors, there's a dude in Hells Kitchen who is gonna sue the government and the UN so that the registration thing is scrapped, Charles Xavier and his team are even collaborating on the lawsuit.

Those people could have really used Captain America with them on this but he was too busy playing Rambo and violating other countries' sovereignty and beating the living shit out of Iron Man apparently.

I mean for a genius, you're a dumbass because you let the people who once tried to nuke Manhattan convince you that you're more dangerous than they are but you had 'dead-kid-in-Sokovia' guilt. So I get it but c'mon cut yourself some slack."

Tony was a bit flabbergasted by the kid's performance.

"Of course you'd say it... you stick my pictures on your wall," Tony grumbled

"Oh hell no! You will not use my stan status against me. I know exactly how problematic my fav is. I know your family made their fortune selling weapons and not just to the US Military and I know you only gave a crap about the under the table dealing with terrorists when they threatened your life but I'm sorry Mr. Stark if you deny yourself the credit for learning from your mistakes then every human everywhere is going straight to hell.

Intellicrops prevented famines... the arc reactor technology is saving the planet from global warming...

I saw that video of Helena Cho with those acid attack victims in India and openly weeped in a Starbucks...

You really did privatize world peace... there's a reason the biggest threat to us now is "evil aliens" you know... cause' what the fuck chance does ISIS have against War Machine? Even that Mandarin thing turned out to be a hoax.

I have 3 patents because of my Maria Stark Foundation grant and I didn't even get the MIT-full funding ones... one day one of those kids is going to cure cancer and it's going to be because of you.

So of course I'll defend you man... but you don't seem to realize that any decent person would." Peter was pretty pleased with himself after that and shot Tony an eyebrow raise as if daring him to disagree.

"I got nothing."

"Of course you don't." Peter grinned.

Maybe Tony had just isolated himself too much from people who didn't consider him a complete and utter asshole.

But with Peter it didn't even feel like praise... it was like the guy was scolding him for being too mean to himself.

It felt nice nonetheless.

Before Tony had even recovered from Peter's glorious rant, the younger guy handed him a business card with the words "Daily Bugle" embossed on it.

"Don't hold my gossip rag workplace against me... it's easy money and I'm only doing it till Norman Osbourne starts paying me for the work I already do for him." Peter shrugged

"You're with Oscorp? What do you do? Why not SI?" If he had scored an internship with Oscorp and a grant from his own foundation then he must be good enough for SI.

"I'm R&D chemical engineering and I'm not at SI because your recruiters are assholes who demand 3 years experience for a beginner position..." said Peter matter of factly.

"You should apply with us again." Tony insisted, the guy had 3 patents and very sharp, after tonight the least Tony could do was get him a job.

"You should call me." Peter countered

"I- wait are you hitting on me?" And much to Tony's chagrin, he found himself blushing again.

"Yeah duh Mr. Stark."

"I'm old enough to be your father." Tony sputtered and that hurt to admit.

"And I have insane daddy issues- you'll love me. I'm not even gonna ask you for a selfie... you don't look your best right now but definitely call me." Peter winked as he started to leave.

"You're fucking negging me?!" said Tony looking up at the ballsy kid as he slid out of the booth.

"Hey you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Gandhi said that." The kid called over his shoulder as he walked away.

"Gandhi absolutely did not say that Peter." Tony yelled back.

God he was gonna call the guy.

Read part 2 here, part 3 here

[gra-sonas]

Rainbow Crew is an ongoing interview series which celebrates the best LGBTQ+ representation on TV. Each instalment showcases talent working on both sides of the camera, including queer creatives and allies to the community.

Today we're speaking to Carina Adly MacKenzie, the show runner and overall mastermind behind Roswell, New Mexico.

Buckle up cowboys, because Roswell, New Mexico just ended season two with one hell of a cliffhanger.

After working through their romantic drama, Max took Isobel and Michael to a secret tunnel where they freed the alien described in Tripp's diary... and he looks exactly like an evil version of Max.

Fans are going to have a lot of sleepless nights over that big reveal, and without Maria's ability to see the future, season three feels like a long way off.

Thankfully, showrunner Carina Adly MacKenzie beamed down from Roswell to discuss what happened while teasing what's in store for "Malex" (Michael and Alex) in season three.

What a way to end the season! Obviously you don’t want to give too much away, but could you talk a bit about the stowaway, and what that big reveal means for the future?

I can’t say much. I’m trying really hard to spend the next year of my life not talking about the stowaway.

But I will say that we underworked Nathan Parsons at the beginning of this season. And then, you know, he spent a lot of time floating in a pod, and so we figured we would give him double the job for the next season.

So we're very excited to explore who Mr Jones is. Through his eyes, we’re excited to explore the truth about the other planet, where the aliens came from, and why.

Will the idea of Max being a "saviour" tie into that?

We’ll dig into Max’s destiny, and also what the future holds for Michael and Isobel, too. I think there’s been a lot of talk of Max as this central figure, and as this inherent leader.

But we’re also going to ask questions about where that leaves Michael and Isobel, and their role in the future of this planet, and of different planets too.

Lots of key relationships went through huge changes in the finale. What can you tease about Malex's future specifically now that Alex has hooked up with Forrest?

I think that Alex has never really had the opportunity to just casually date, especially in a space where he feels safe, and he feels proud of who he is. And so we’re excited for next season — Forrest is going to definitely be a part of Alex’s journey.

The thing that I really like about the end of the season is that Michael started this year saying that hope is the worst thing in the world; hope is the thing that hurts you the most.

At the end of this season, he says that he needs to end his story with Alex, because maybe there’s a new story for the two of them to start down the line. And I think that’s the most hopeful that we’ve seen Michael in a really long time.

So we’ll be telling a slightly lighter love story next season for Alex.

You've mentioned before that Isobel’s next love interest will be a woman. Could you talk more about that and how this will impact her in season three?

My intention when we started writing the show was always for the aliens to reject typical gender constructs. These three aliens were raised here, so they have very human perspectives on gender and sexuality. But Isobel’s entire arc this season was about exploring who she is at the base of herself, outside of any influence.

So I think we’ve been building to this idea for a while that maybe the aliens aren’t necessarily bound by the same rules and ideas about gender that the rest of us have.

But yeah, Isobel’s next love interest is going to be a woman, and I’m really excited about it.

Queerness has always been such an integral part of Roswell, New Mexico, ever since the pilot ended with that first Malex kiss. Why was it important for you to explore queer experiences in small-town America instead of the usual big city stories?

I’m always raring to see more queer characters  on TV. But I was seeing things that either reflected a reality that I don’t know— a reality that I think is a little bit idealistic, as far as what the world looks like right now.

I think a lot of people look at Gen Z as this post-homophobia generation, and I don’t know if that is realistic, especially in small towns in the middle of the country. So we wanted to take a look at a lot of different experiences of discovering your sexuality on this show. And I think that Alex’s story, with his father, and Michael’s story with his family, it’s not the only story to tell.

Obviously, Isobel’s experience of coming out is a lot different from everyone else’s experience of coming out.

I really wanted to acknowledge the sort of barriers that are still in place, and that we like to pretend they don’t exist.

From day one, there's been a huge fandom around Malex in particular. Did that add extra pressure for you?

No. The fandom that built around Michael and Alex wasn’t a surprise to me in any way. I knew that people were going to love them, because I love them.

In the end, I’m making a show that I would want to watch. I’m my target demographic [laughs]. So it wasn’t a surprise at all, and it hasn’t changed the way that we’re telling the story.

Just as much as we see people rooting for Michael and Alex, we’re also seeing a groundswell of support for Maria this season. I think that that story is important to tell, too. And I’ve been really proud of our writers and of our actors, and the way they’ve navigated it.

You've said before that you don't want to the show to ever fall into harmful queer tropes like "bury your gays". What do you do in the writers room to ensure that doesn't happen?

I feel a big responsibility to tell a story that doesn’t involve harmful tropes. That said, I think it’s also really important to not fall into a space where we’re telling a story about perfect characters.

If you spend too much wanting the representation to be exactly perfect, and wanting every bisexual audience member who watches Michael to find themselves in every decision that he makes – I think that you end up telling a boring story.

So while I’m very proud of the representation, it’s really important that we make the queer characters just as nuanced and flawed as the straight characters. And that means, sometimes, that they make mistakes. And they veer off into the wrong direction.

It’s a story about people figuring out who they are, and making a mistake, and then righting the course.

I’m very proud of it. I think it’s not necessarily everyone’s cup of tea, but I remember when any gay character on television wasn’t everybody’s cup of tea. And so, the more we find ourselves challenged in the writers’ room, the more I feel like we’re doing a good job, and we’re telling a story about two men, and their experience – and not trying to tell the story of everyone perfectly all at once.

Now you’re two seasons in, what's been the most challenging thing about this whole experience so far?

[laughs] Learning how to pace the season properly. I feel like with both season one and season two, I’ve gotten to the end of them and been like, "Alright, I’ve got so much more story left to tell."

I cut my teeth on The Originals, where we started off having 22 episodes a season. Figuring out how to put all my story into 13 episodes has been my challenge. Which is why you get these super action-packed penultimate and ultimate episodes.

But I think I’m learning! [laughs] I think we’ve got the pacing down for season three. But it’s weird. This is my first time doing this. It’s been an adventure trying to learn on the move, and to adapt to what’s going on.

But I’m really proud of the first two seasons. We leave a lot on the table at the end of season two. There are some questions dangling through season three that I think are going to be really fun to explore.

~ DigitalSpy

[timeagainreviews]

Reappraising Companions

Years after having watched every available episode of Doctor Who, I've had plenty of opportunities to rewatch episodes time and time again. As with most movies and television, I've found revisiting certain stories and eras has caused me to see them in a different light. A story I may have once reviled is suddenly more interesting. I even came to appreciate Peter Davison's performance as the Fifth Doctor for its subtle nature. But what about companions? Are there any companions I didn't care for at first, which I've softened toward over time? That is the question I wish to explore.

Below I've chosen a selection of companions of whom I had initially disliked for various reasons. They span across multiple eras and both the classic and modern versions of the show. With each companion, I have endeavoured to be fair in my reappraisal, but this doesn't mean I've changed my mind. I would also like to state that none of these appraisals are about the actors. My goal is to evaluate companions by the way they were written. The performance will come secondary.

1. Danny Pink

I chose Danny Pink to kick this list off because he is the reason I am writing this article in the first place. Recently, I took to rewatching a selection of Danny Pink episodes, in hopes that I may find something I didn't initially see. When Samuel Anderson was cast as Danny, I was excited. I've always been a big fan of male companions. They offer a different dynamic to the TARDIS that we don't often get to experience. However, in the wrong hands, they can be exhausting. Enter Steven Moffat.

When Steven Moffat took the reins of Doctor Who, he introduced us to Rory Williams. A smart, loyal, and combative male companion, not at all enamoured with the Doctor's mystique. At his worst, Rory was made to compete with the Doctor for Amy's affection. At his best, Rory held the Doctor accountable for the lives he brought aboard the TARDIS. With Danny, I felt like this is what Moffat was trying to do again, but this time, it wasn't as successful.

When we're introduced to Danny, we watch him and Clara fumble over their words like teenagers. It's meant to be cute, but their chemistry is non-existent. It feels like watching an episode of Coupling, in that it's painful and causes me to scan the room for exits. Their adorkable awkwardness is supposed to endear us to their relationship, but it seems forced. This is compounded when the Doctor enters the equation. Forcing Danny to fight for something very few of us in the audience believe in the first place.

Once again we find the male companion being forced to compete with the Doctor for the affection of a woman. But in this instance, instead of holding the Doctor accountable, Danny seems to hold the Doctor in contempt. Coming from his own history of military training and PTSD, Danny projects all of his inner struggles onto the Doctor. Which is unfortunate, as Danny's inner turmoil is his most humanistic trait. This wouldn't be the first time in Moffat's era where the Doctor's nature as a hero was called into play. The problem with Danny's appraisal of the Doctor as a general, barking orders, is that he's wrong. And we as an audience know it.

Not only do we know it, but so does the Doctor. The Doctor even gets a character arc over the identity crisis Danny gives him, wherein he realises Danny is wrong about him. Danny, however, never comes around to the Doctor's side. Even in his final moments on screen, he remains combative with the Doctor, in an exhausting refusal to grow as a character. We're supposed to believe he's come to some sort of character growth of self-acceptance by sacrificing his chance at a new life, for the life of a boy he mistakenly killed. Instead, he carries the same chip on his shoulder to his grave.

Danny is a companion wholly failed by writing. Even at his most heroic, it seems in service of making the Doctor look like a buffoon. His mimicking a soldier while yelling in the Doctor's face is embarrassing for everyone involved. Imagine this is your boyfriend meeting your friends. You would be mortified by his behaviour. Now imagine you have to lie about hanging out with your friends because it might make your boyfriend upset. Now imagine this friend is a very dashing person who constantly puts the lives of others before him. Danny and Clara's courtship is a romance by gaslight.

2. Clara Oswald

Clara is a whole other can of worms. I could probably dedicate an entire article to her character. I should clarify that my initial dislike for her character is somewhat mired in personal disappointment. By the time Clara was introduced, we had seen a string of modern human companions. We got the occasional tertiary companions from the future, such as Captain Jack or River Song. But we hadn't had a main companion from the past, future, or another planet. So when Jenna Coleman was introduced as Oswin Oswald, Junior Entertainment Manager of the starliner Alaska, I was very excited. Finally, a companion from the future! I was so ready for the Doctor to go on a quest to save Oswin from the cruel fate of becoming a Dalek. What an exciting storyline that was going to be.

And then we see her as governess Clara Oswin Oswald. Ok... Well at least she's still from a different era, right? Oh, she's dead now too? Oh. Much like Moffat's Dracula, all of this great promise was suddenly dashed against the rocks of a contemporary setting. Sigh. I was so excited. What we're given in “The Bells of St. John,” is a new character with less direction than either Oswin or the governess before her. So much that Moffat had taken to literally modulating her brain with an app. Maybe she's really good with computers now? Sorry friends, much like Rose Tyler's gymnastics and Peri Brown's botany, it's never going to come up again.

And this is the biggest issue I have had with Clara Oswald. She spends most of her screen time fluctuating between what character they're writing her as this week. The writers simply didn't know what to do with her while the Doctor tried to figure out why she's so "impossible." One week she's wacky, one week she's stern, another week she's bisexual queer bait. Her characterisation is all over the charts, which sadly, tracks with her entire storyline. She's a woman, fragmented across time, and so is her personality. And don't even get me started on that impossible girl nonsense.

Steven Moffat once said in an interview that one or two people usually guess his big reveal ahead of time, but that no one had guessed Clara's. Perhaps that's because nobody's fan theory was "It's going to be absolute shite." Instead of just being a woman who gets to be her own person, she has to become the most importantest companion. She has to save the Doctor by being planted throughout his timeline, saving him from the Great Intelligence. You know, by sometimes being born as herself, and other times being born as a Time Lord. Sometimes knowing who the Doctor is, other times having no idea whatsoever. Sometimes having a name that is a play on of Oswald, or Oswin, or Clara. And at no times did it make any kind of sense.

The funny thing is, that for me at least, Clara's character doesn't really become interesting until all of that nonsense is behind her. The Clara I find most compelling is the Clara in mourning. Clara post-Danny Pink is a Clara with focus. Her mood swings seem more from a place of destructive behaviour in the wake of great loss. Watching her hold the TARDIS keys hostage above a volcano was some seriously gripping stuff. Aside from the gross digs at her appearance, I found the Twelfth Doctor's relationship with Clara far more endearing than that of the Eleventh Doctor. It may have taken them until her final moments as a companion, but they did get her right, in the end.

3. Melanie Bush

Back in 2015, I had the opportunity to meet Louise Jameson, who played Leela, my all-time favourite Doctor Who companion. I also got to meet Colin Baker, who was all charm. Also in attendance was Bonnie Langford, aka, Doctor Who's Mel. After having gotten autographs from Louise and Colin, and having circled the convention hall a few times, I decided "Sure, why not. Let's meet Bonnie Langford. It's only 10 quid for an autograph." Upon meeting her, she was a very kind woman, and even still, I was racking my brain for something nice to say about Mel. To save face, I lied a very simple lie. I said, "I really liked you in Doctor Who." She smiled, said thank you, and signed my picture. And I walked away, taking my shitty liar mouth with me.

Because the fact is, I didn't like her in Doctor Who. I found every moment she was onscreen excruciating. From her poodle haircuts, to her 80's disaster attire, to her fat-shaming the Sixth Doctor, to her constant screaming at every little thing, she depressed me. I spoke in my review of "Terror of the Vervoids," just how weird it was that we're never actually introduced to her as a character. Instead, Peri is written off, and suddenly, Mel is there, already chummy with the Doctor. You guys know Mel, she's the Doctor's friend, because we told you she was! Instead of getting to know Mel slowly, we're thrown into the deep end, forced to sink or swim within the curls of red hair piled high. Mel doesn't just come out of nowhere, she comes on strong. Fitness expert Mel here to get your fat Doctor Who loving asses into shape. Drink this carrot juice you geek pig!

Not even in Big Finish audios was I finding myself warming up to Mel. When Ace was introduced, they couldn't have pushed Mel out quicker. I found everything about Ace immediately refreshing. Here was a calm and collected badass rebel that I could get behind. It's ironic then; that it was in the Seventh Doctor era that I have begun to find something likeable in Mel. Much like Clara Oswald,  a changing of Doctors enriched my appreciation for her character. This appreciation didn't come immediately, mind you, it came about around my third or fourth watch-through of "Paradise Towers."

Perhaps it's the influence of Andrew Cartmel, but with the Seventh Doctor, I have begun to appreciate Mel in the snarkiest manner. Mel is best utilised as a commentary on the Doctor/Companion relationship. She's precocious to a fault, she chews scenery, she screams at the drop of a hat, and she is oftentimes a naive idiot. Yet in "Paradise Towers," it becomes hilarious. Like much of the 80's era of Doctor Who, there is a very "2000 AD," atmosphere to the stories, and I could easily see this as a setting for Judge Dredd to drudge through, busting skulls and filling bodies with bullets. Setting the sunshiny persona of Mel against this backdrop is so brilliant that I can't imagine another companion in this story. Where she would usually grate against me, her sharp contrast from the things happening around her is exactly why I began to soften toward her.

Not even the ire from the Kangs could shake Mel's confidence, which is oddly what makes her cool. Or "ice-hot," as they would say. For the first time, Mel's headstrong sense of self makes her a rebel. She doesn't need to follow a crowd to feel accepted. Sadly, very few writers were able to find this core to Mel, but it was enough for me to be able to look at her in a different light. I could finally look at Mel and say I did like her in Doctor Who. Even if it was just for a moment, and even if it was somewhat at her expense. From a very cynical perspective, Mel can actually be pretty fun.

4. River Song

I know a lot of you are probably aghast to see River Song on this list, but I assure you, I have my reasons, and they are not without consideration. I should begin by saying some good things about River. She's smart, she's competent, she's got a healthy grasp on her sexuality, and she's cool. Why then did I not like her very much the first few times I watched her? Well, if you hadn't noticed, the bulk of this list are characters written by Steven Moffat, and once again, it all comes down to writing.

We're first introduced to River in the Tenth Doctor two-parter "Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead." At first, she's just one of a team of forgettable space scientists on an expedition. However, as she finds out the Doctor is who he is, her entire demeanour changes. Like Mel on steroids, we're given a heaping dose of "Who does this bitch think she is, being all familiar with the Doctor?" Only, instead of it lasting one episode, it's every interaction we have with her character beyond this point. Instead of getting to watch River and the Doctor grow as a couple, we're forced to watch them meet in opposite directions. It is the antithesis of "show, don't tell." Everything about the Doctor and River's relationship is implied. "You're going to love me someday," she promises. Couldn't we just see it play out naturally? Spoilers.

This idea is one that can only really be done on a show like Doctor Who, where things are wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey. The problem is, this doesn't mean that the idea is worth exploring, or even successful. It's made even worse when the relationship implied is one deeper than friendship. The Doctor is famously chaste, married only to his TARDIS and what lies ahead. Because of this, the idea of a person the Doctor will someday trust enough to share his real name and eventually marry carries with it a sizeable amount of convincing. Such a huge shift in the show's dynamic requires a lot of character development. Sadly none of that is to be seen onscreen. Who is Jim the Fish? Who cares? Steven Moffat's joke of "I'll explain later," became painfully prophetic of his time as showrunner.

I've got no complaints about River being a Time Lord, or even her being the child of Amy and Rory. Those elements are fine, really. It's the way in which she is presented which I find most detrimental to her character. I never did buy into the idea that the Doctor loved her as a wife. Their wedding seemed necessary to save the universe, as opposed to a union made out of love. Any kind of enjoyment I've ever gotten out of River stems mostly out of my love for Alex Kingston's performance. Where the show fails to establish her, she more than makes up for in style and substance. I grew to like River Song, despite the show's failure to ground her properly. River grew on me as she always said she would, but by no effort on the part of the writers. River is cool because River is cool, not because it was inferred that she was.

5. Susan

If you’ve followed this blog long enough, you’ll know I’ve already mellowed on Susan. In my reviews of the First Doctor era, I’ve had mostly good things to say about her character. This doesn’t change the fact that I found her utterly irritating at first, and it feels appropriate to talk about it here.

My initial dislike for Susan is a lot like my intial dislike for Clara. A lot of it was wrapped up in my own expectations of the character. Susan is the Doctor’s granddaughter. She is a Time Lord, therefore she should also be brilliant. And we get a lot of that in her first episode. She is mysterious, she’s enigmatic, and she is brilliant. Even her teachers at school found her perplexing. But the show doesn’t continue down that line. In fact, there are times when they make Susan borderline stupid. But how much of this is clouded by my own preconceptions?

For starters, Susan wasn’t a Time Lord. At least, not then. She was just a young girl. She may have been smarter than her fellow students, but this played more into how she was raised. So when the show depicts Susan screaming at every little thing, grabbing her hair dramatically, it smashed apart my mental image of a Time Lord. I couldn’t appreciate that they had her act this way to help sell a bad effect. Oftentimes Susan, like many Doctor Who companions, had her character sacrificed to make the baddies scarier. It was a product of her time, and even still I feel her character suffers for it.

However, one of the things I have discovered through repeat viewings of the First Doctor era is the surprising amount of character development among the TARDIS crew. The Doctor, Ian, Barbara, and Susan all go through deep character development that was sadly often secondary in classic Doctor Who. Before the nature of the Doctor and companions was transient, there was a feeling of a family bond forming. Through this, I have come to find Susan to be a rather deep and sensitive person.

When it comes time to say goodbye to Susan, I can’t say I exactly agreed with the method. The Doctor locking her out and deciding she was mature enough to set out on her own felt hasty. But I would be lying if I didn’t agree that Susan had gone from a little girl to a young woman at that point. When you stop expecting Susan to be the Doctor, and allow her to be a kid, she grows on you instantly.

6. Adric

Let's be honest; it's not really original to hate on Adric. It's nothing new to point out what a bad companion he is, but here we are. Something I constantly endeavour to do on this blog is to be fair. One of my biggest complaints about the Doctor Who fandom is the proprietary attitude people take toward the fandom. The "I don't like it; therefore you shouldn't like it," attitude spat with such vitriol is one of the worst parts about being in the Doctor Who fandom. So when you say "Adric is my favourite companion," I'm not devising an argument for how wrong you are, it's fine. Like who you like. This doesn't mean I'm not also thinking in my head "What? Why?" Because I honestly, without malice, do not understand.

The most I ever enjoyed Adric, was in his introductory story "Full Circle." Setting him against a group of fellow Alzarians dilutes his lesser qualities. In fact, when paired with Varsh, he almost seems likeable. Sadly, we have to say goodbye to Varsh, and it's downhill from there. We're forced to watch a contrarian boy genius butt heads with the Doctor while he waddles around in a toddler's outfit while showing off his pound shop sheriffs badge for "mathematical excellence," to anyone who will listen. Adric is so obnoxious that he makes Wesley Crusher seem likeable in contrast.

However, it's not just his contrarian nature that makes me despise Adric, he's also disloyal to the Doctor and his friends. He's so susceptible to bad ideas as long as they a presented logically, that I've dubbed him the Ben Shapiro of the TARDIS. He's a smarmy little shit who believes himself superior to women, and he's really got no justification for his ill-placed self-confidence. Constantly demanding respect while giving very little reason to deserve it, he's like a poster child for incels. To make matters worse, he's oftentimes wrong and easily duped into taking the side of evil, turning him into more of a liability than an asset.

Recently, the idea that the Thirteenth Doctor could save someone from sacrificing themselves by using the TARDIS at the last moment to save them came under fire. "Why didn't the Doctor do this for Adric?" they said, forgetting conveniently when the Twelfth Doctor did the exact same thing in "Into the Dalek." But yes, why indeed? Why would the Doctor ever let a duplicitous, argumentative braggart die by their own stupid need to solve a math problem? My headcanon is that the Doctor got better at flying the TARDIS. The real reason is that people hated his character. The silence over the credits after Adric dies isn't out of respect for the character. The real reason is that the BBC couldn't secure the rights to Kool and the Gang's "Celebrate Good Times," before it aired.

Listen, I am not unsympathetic toward Matthew Waterhouse. He never should have been given such a big role, considering his utter lack of ability at the time. I imagine it was his own insecurity that fuelled his on-set antics. Giving unsolicited advice to veteran actors is cringey, but also the actions of a young and naive boy, in over his head. I know I said I was going to try and treat the performance as secondary, but in this case, it goes hand in hand. He has the stage presence of a fake. Every moment he's onscreen is disingenuous. The fact that he is present at the death of my favourite Doctor, stinking up the scene is genuine pain to me. If he has been made better in Big Finish, I've not yet heard it. As of now, there is nothing I've seen of Adric that has changed my opinion. But I'm glad if he makes you happy.

[starchildsteven]

Steven and Connie?

I got 2 asks for Steven so whoever sent the other one here is your answer. Because I’m just gonna do these two together.

Steven

Sexuality Headcanon: Listen at this point it should be clear: Pansexual Steven is a hill I'm willing to die on.

Gender Headcanon: I see Steven as gender non-conforming which I know people will argue is not a gender identity but I disagree with that because it’s what I consider my gender to be. What that means to me is an absence of gender while still I guess “preforming” gender. I don’t think of myself as male, female or agender. Rather all those genders feel like costumes I put on but don’t fully embody. Maybe it’s self-indulgent and projecting but I like to see Steven the same way. Also I see him as AMAB and pronouns are not important to him.

A ship I have with said character: Is this not clear? Have I not made this clear enough already? Do I need to be louder about my love of this ship? Joking aside Connverse is my OTP for Steven Universe (the show and the character). I could go into why but that would be an essay. Just look through my blog you will get the reasons most likely.

A BROTP I have with said character: This is really hard. I like a lot of BROTPs with Steven. Lars, Amethyst, Lapis. But you put a gun to head: Peridot. I’ve said before we spend more time with Peridot then we do with other characters who “redeems” themselves. I know Peridot kinda got the shaft in later seasons but when she was more serious, her relationship with Steven shined through and always felt like a genuine friendship rather than Steven “saving” her. I feel like they are actual friends something I don’t feel with his Non-family gems. Also “Peace and Love (On Planet Earth)” is another Top 10 for me! People sleep on that one. “Interest with meaning, Solutions with problems” is a more powerful line than people give credit. I said in my finale watch if only one secondary character was getting a pep-talk to Steven Peridot deserved it. I stand by that.

A NOTP I have with said character: Spinel. I want go into it but this might be the only Steven Universe ship I hate with a passion. I’m not ruining this cute ask meme by going into it. What I will say is every Stev!ne/ shipper that I have seen draw her as a human has made her white (or maybe a bit tan). I’m not accusing anyone of anything but replacing Steven’s canon dark-skinned love interest with a gem easily interpreted as being white makes me really uncomfortable... 

A random headcanon: Style Change Steven

General Opinion over said character: So I have always loved Steven, I have this things for characters like Steven. These passive, peace-makers with strong optimistic outlooks on live. Another example would be Aang. Part of what kept me out of this fandom was the lack of focus on Steven. There were always fans of Steven, don’t misunderstand me but more often than not I saw people writing him off or saying the show would be better with him in it. I constantly saw people wanting the show to just be the gems. It angered me. It angers me now that some people are only into him because they can make him “dark and edgy.” However most people have just seemed to have grown an appreciation for Steven recently and I think that’s why I’m more involved with the fandom now. Steven is important to me. He doesn’t care about gender expectations, has not shame over his body type, he’s a lover not a fighter. He sees the good in all people. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t hurt though. It doesn’t mean he isn’t dealing with heavy stuff. it just means that rather than go brooding and dark, Steven chooses to stay optimistic. Sometimes at the cost to himself. Characters like that are important to me. Because that’s a lot like how I am. I’m defined by my giving nature and constant smile. I believe the world and people are good but that doesn’t mean going through life is easy. 

Connie

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual. No one in this show is straight. I refuse to interpret even the worst characters in this show as straight. An as a bisexual, someone has to represent me. Also how can you look at Connie and not see that she likes girls?

Gender Headcanon: Agender but uses she/her exclusively. I go back and forth on AMAB and AFAB. I like both for different reasons. Either way I like Connie being Agender. I know Connie portraying masculine tendencies doesn’t negate her femininity. I just choose to view her as being agender in part at least due to her defiance of gender roles. Not saying that’s the only way to take it, it’s just the way I do.

A ship I have with said character: Again, check the blog... Funny enough before Steven Universe became my main fandom and was just a fandom I liked the only thing I shipped was Steven/Connie. I eventually grew to like Lapidot. The only ship I have had through the whole series though was Connverse.

A BROTP I have with said character: Pearl! I love Connie and Pearl! I love their whole teacher/student dynamic. I like the parallels of them coming from similar lives in a way. I like how I could see them just hanging out together if they wanted to. I like that Pearl took to Connie right away when she’s been shown not to really like humans. I just think they’re neat. 

A NOTP I have with said character: Pearl... This was really popular for awhile. Again Gem/Connie ships disgust me. I don’t have any particular strong hate for this ship but yeah no eww. 

A random headcanon: Connie did have a friend before Steven when she was very young. But they weren’t close friends and she ditched Connie as soon as they got to middle school.

General Opinion over said character: Connie used to be my favorite character and is still the solid second (I just can’t pretend that Future hasn’t shifted Steven from second to first) Back when she was my favorite though I wrote a whole post on why. As of right now.

[ronweasleyisourking]

Next gen headcanons

Edward "Teddy" Remus Lupin

Nonbinary, uses he/him and they/them pronouns

Pansexual, but has mostly dated boys

Hufflepunk

Mixed bag of depression and anxiety

Tattoos and piercings everywhere. Also, a tattoo artist.

Walks with a cane due to chronic back pain

His first kiss was with his best friend, Basil Haywood-Karasu

He dated Victoire for a bit, but it didn't work out. They're better as friends

Lived in between houses for most of his life. His grandmother Andromeda and his godparents, Harry and Ginny share custody

When Andromeda began having a hard time getting around on her own, Harry and Ginny opened up their house to her happily, though this was after Teddy moved out on his own

Winifred "Winnie" Margaret Weasley-Wood

Daughter of Percy and Oliver

Bisexual

Gryffindor but almost Ravenclaw

Named after her late uncle and Grandma Molly, whose full name was Margaret, though she would never admit it

Has read every book in the restricted section, whether she was allowed to or not

Hands are constantly in motion. Does math in the air, taps fingers on surfaces, sometimes just does random stuff with her hands, has to stop herself from doing hand motions when talking, etc. Has no idea what causes it.

The shortest of all her siblings/cousins

Hosts a Qudditch Little League for her siblings/cousins

Victoire "Vic" Apolline Weasley

Bisexual

Ravenclaw

Sort of a preppy punk. Loves faux leather jackets but also loves tiaras :) completely beautiful, let's be honest

Curses in French all the time

Attended Magik N.O.U., a wizarding school in New Orleans in her 7th year, which sparked her love for travel

Learned wandless and non-verbal magic just because people thought she couldn't; the dictionary definition of "girls can be smart AND pretty"

Could totally kick Teddy Lupin's ass

Has to worst temper of anyone in her extended family. And that's really saying something

International Hit Wizard

Georgie Rhyme Jordan

Child of Lee Jordan, honorary Weasley due to his relationship with Fred prior to his Fred's death

Pansexual and Genderqueer; he/him or any pronouns

Feminist AF

Really into street art. May have graffiti-ed a few anti-Brexit and anti-Tory pieces around England, but there's no proof

Not vegetarian but has cut down on meals with meat

Was born with atrial septal defect

Megara "Meg" Rhys Weasley-Wood

Demigirl. Experiences some dysphoria but not a lot

Partially deaf due to an untreated ruptured eardrum.

Has a huge, fluffy, orange cat named Hercules

Blind enough that she has to wear coke bottle glasses.

Animal lover right to the core. Donates to any and all shelters that she knows have good practices and tries to adopt as many animals as possible from the bad ones

Loves divination. Has minor seer powers.

Has a magical disorder where smoke comes out of her hears when she gets mad.

Frederick "Freddie" Gideon Weasley II

Bisexual. In love with Taras Krum, who was in a student exchange program with Durmstrang and Hogwarts.

Suffered severely after getting hit by a bludger in his 6th year; a concussion and head trauma leading to epilepsy

Severe depression and imposter syndrome

Not much of a prankster

Bookworm

James "Jamie" Sirius Potter

Red hair + hazel eyes + freckles everywhere

Got a gold tongue piercing at fourteen and that's how he found out that he was allergic to gold

Smoked pixie dust once

Lover of poorly timed finger guns and funky socks (yes, he is bisexual, why do you ask?)

Not a professional quidditch player or auror

He runs a diner called "Lumos" that serves the best burgers in the wizarding world

Doesn't think he can do anything right

River Lee Jordan

Trans girl; lesbian

Allergic to cinnamon

Loves pranking; Dominique, Lily, Romany, and her prank their cousins all the time. They're terrifying.

Writer but she works as a herbologist assistant, waitress, and cashier at WWW on the side just to support herself

Can hear magic. It's an almost constant buzzing when she's around her family and at Hogwarts. Sometimes just needed to be alone so that she couldn't hear the buzzing.

Gwendolyn "Wendy" Lucille Weasley-Wood

Pansexual

Has a genderfluid s/o, Ari Spinnet-Bell

Very environmentalist. Tries not to be annoying about it.

Founded a Hogwarts theatre club and actually wrote a few, very very gay plays and musicals

Hosts a podcast/blog with her roommates (River, Ari & Susmita) called Witches Unstitched where they talk about anything and everything under the sun

Helped create a bunch of healing potions with all the plants she has in her greenhouse(s)

Dominique "Dom" Gabrielle Weasley

Pansexual and Aromantic

In a QPR with Lorcan Scamander, her best friend

Hates being compared to her older sister

When Lorcan got cancer and got pulled out of school, she took time off school while he was getting treatment

Shaved off all her hair when he lost his

Leader of the Pluto is a Planet society at Hogwarts

Best friend in the family is James, despite the fact that she and Arthur are in the Slytherin! Marauders together

Loves firewhiskey and menthol cigarettes (don't tell Wendy)

Illegal animagus - a white cat. Her nickname is Duchess.

Arthur "Art" Rubeus Potter

Gay + in love with Scorpius Malfoy

Dyed the tips of his hair green and silver when he was 12

Loves leather jackets, chokers, and combat boots

Has too many piercings to count, but his favorite is his deep purple nose ring. Hates the idea of a tongue ring

Trained himself in Legilimency and Occlumency

Learned Parseltongue, Mermish, and several other creature languages because "he was bored"

Knows quite a bit of dark magic, but is not a dark wizard

Had a lot of tattoos. Most were of creatures from the Black Lake, the Giant Squid taking up his entire back, and a merperson takes up his upper left arm

But over his heart is the Scorpius constellation, sketches of the four animagi are on his left hip, and on his ankle are magically fading footsteps that would eerily familiar to anyone who had looked at the Marauder’s Map

Went to a wizarding school located in the Great Barrier Reef, which offered courses for 18 - 21 year olds who had graduated from wizarding schools around the world

Loves puns, boxing, extra greasy pizza, potions, pet names, horror movies that are actually scary, singing in the shower, and his boyfriend, Scorpius Malfoy

Marine Mazoologist

Roxanne "Roxy" Fabian Weasley

Bisexual

Has been known to "experiment" with girls. In the Quidditch locker rooms. Forgets to lock doors. Oops

Her patronus is a coyote. Her happiest memory is of when her and Fred jumped of the roof of Hogwarts with their brooms. They had been trying to recreate the last scene of Pratical Magic, but like, with brooms

Loves cooking and knitting with her Grandma Molly

Studies in the strangest places. Lily once found her studying in the secret passage to Hogsmeade one night. Her brother found her sleeping in the Astronomy tower, with books strewn around her. Scorpius and Arthur once found her studying in a secret alcove (they still won’t admit to her why they had wanted to be in secret alcove in the first place)

Down to fight anyone for any reason

In love with Susmita Patil

Healer

Rosa "Rose" Bud Granger-Weasley

Lesbian

An absolute foodie

Named after a Charles Dickens character

Allergic to cats, which irks her mom and pleases her dad

President of the current Hogwarts chapter of S.P.C.W. (Society for the Promotion of Creature Welfare). Hermione has worked tirelessly in the ministry to get laws passed but even ministers can't change everything in a day

After graduating, her, Arthur, Dominique, Roxanne, Scorpius, Lorcan, and Lysander all went on a camping trip. Harry, Ron, and Hermione got really anxious about it

Loves reading trashy tabloids to call down. Circles all the stories about her family to torture her cousins with (jokingly)

It's a 50/50 shot whether she going to argue with you, and cite her sources, or if she is going to knock your teeth out

Spent her 7th year at The Salem Witches Institute in Massachusetts, a private all-girls school

Historian for wizarding history. Runs a small museum out of Grimmauld Place, which the Potters don't live in but Harry stills owns + has cleaned up a bit

Lily "Lils" Euphemia Luna Potter

Has meniere's disease

Vegetarian for medical reasons

Needs to wear glasses but never does

Gryffindor, but wanted to be in Slytherin

Will help out anyone and everyone if she can

Lived with Teddy for a bit after he moved out on his own

Asexual and Panromantic. In a polyamorous relationship with Frankie Longbottom and Estelle Huang

Had a pet snake named Besa. The snake was nearly longer than she was tall, non-poisonous, and the sweetest thing ever (at least, according to Lily)

Beat up James when he said that she "threw like a girl". She cracked one of his ribs, gave him a black eye, and broke his nose in three places. To this day, he claims that his nose is a little crooked (he was nine. she was five.)

Went to a wizarding school in the Himalayas in her 5th year, on the international student exchange program

Has very long hair that is almost always up in bun(s), braid(s) or ponytails. Has to magically shorten it for Quidditch games

Loves mysteries

Hugo "Go-Go" Cabret Granger-Weasley

Genderfluid [they/them]

Colorblind, dyslexic, and has ADHD

Dragonologist in Sweden, but almost went into wandmaking

In love with Allie Longbottom, who always painted her face Hufflepuff colors for games after Hugo got on the team

Uses medically prescribed pixie dust to help with their extreme anxiety; is careful not to take too much

Has a pet ferret that they named Star Boy

Joshua "Josh" Wilhelm Weasley-Wood

On the autistic spectrum

He takes his emotional support golden retriever, Laurel, to Hogwarts with him to help with the changing enviorment

Loves matchbox cars. Has hundreds of them. Carries one or two around with him at all times to fidget with

Loves hiking through the Forbidden Forest, with supervision from his dad, Professor Percy Weasley, or one of the other teachers, of course. All of them are willing to walk with him when they have time, but he loves hiking with his dad most

Has a hard time focusing when there's a lot of noise around him, so of course he has noise cancelling headphones

Learned how to fix up cars and bikes from his grandfather; opened up his own mechanic shop; loves riding the first motorcycle that he and his grandfather fixed up through the streets of London, especially with his girlfriend Lavi

It took him a while to overcome balance issues, but with training to be a seeker in Quidditch, and a lot of time spent taking practice drives on his bike in the fields around the Burrow, he was able to overcome them and once he did, he was on his motorcycle every chance he got

Has accomandations made for him when it comes to eating at Hogwarts, because the food can bother him sometimes

Hates when different foods on his plate touch

Romany "Romy" Charlotte Weasley-Wood

Lesbian-Oriented aroace; in a qpr with Maisie Greengrass

Is prone to accidental magic and has a bit of an anger issue that she works through with a punching bag, bring a beater on the Quidditch team, and playing drums

Her, Tessa Weasley, and Sariel Goyle formed a band called Bloody Bitchin' Babes that played underground gigs at Hogwarts parties before getting work at parties and bars

Hates all of her classes, except Transfiguration

Her plans look like the walls of detectives in murder mysteries. Photographs, post-it notes, paper ripped out of notebooks, red strings, and everything

Burnt Hufflepuff

Royal "King" Kingsley Jordan

Bigender + Bisexual; xe/xem pronouns

Loves all types of clothing but especially suits, flowery blouses, crop tops, chunky belts, scarves, and Doc Martins

Plays the piano all the time, xe even has a piano in xyr room

Gets chronic migraines, has been known to sit/lay in the dark for hours until the pain subsides. Hates taking meds for it

Never has her phone screen brightness above the lowest setting because xe hates that xyr light sensitivity may take xyr away from xyr phone, which is xyr life

Would love to travel one day

Louis "Louie" Antoine Weasley

Only has a little bit of veela charm, usually enough to get him out of minor trouble, and it isn't always permanent

Started taking in magical creatures when he was seven, when Luna gave him a suitcase like Newt Scamander's and got another one when he started adopting muggle creatures as well. He especially loves his mokes and his chickens.

He loves swimming in the Great Lake with the Giant Squid

Loves carmelized apricots, pumpkin gorgonzola flan, cinnamon roll cheesecake, molasses cookies, Bulgarian candy -specifically chocolate bars, sweet potato pancakes, and homemade butter-maple syrup

Was in a student exchange program with Beauxbatons in his 4th year and again in 6th year with the Canadian wizarding school and he loved both experiences

Tessa "Tess" Rue Weasley

Can see people's auras

An expert at potions. Began working on a cure for lycanthropy at the age of 13 and a long 17 years later, she finally accomplished it. She always says that she would have done it quicker if only she didn't have to sleep to live

Part of the potions club at Hogwarts, which is a much less snobby version of the Slug Club that actually has to so with potions talent and not just fame

With her cousin Louis's help, she was actually able to tame a baby raccoon and named him Meeko after the raccoon in Pochahantas to help her and also trained him to help her nick a few things from her cousins sometimes

Loves classic fantasy lit, especially Narnia. Tried to charm a wardrobe to take her to Narnia, and let's just say that it didn't turn out very well and that it was really hard to reverse

Shaves her head in fourth year, because she was tired of all the work it took to take care of her hair

Penelope "Penny" Elodie Weasley-Wood

Named after Penelope Clearwater, who was her father's best friend and who died in the Battle of Hogwarts

She was adopted from Ukraine and loves everything about the country. The language, the music, the art, the people...

Went on to be a dragon tamer at a Ukranian dragon reserve, which she applied to as soon as she turned 17, and when she got an offer, she took her N.E.W.T.s in her 6th year so that she could take the job immediately

At the dragon reserve, she met Norma Hawryluk, who she fell in love with and a baby Ironbelly whom she named Vera and raised. No one but she had Norma could touch Vera though, because of the dragons' extreme rage issues

Constantly stole her sibling's and cousin's clothing

Gets stuck in her head sometimes

Romulus "Rome" Wolff Jordan

Asexual and Aromantic

Has a fluffy white cat named Marigold (Royal named her)

Loves wearing a ton of rings. Like, one on each finger.

Will only eat rocky road ice cream, and no other flavor ever

Has aphantasia, or the inability to voluntarily visualize images in his mind, but can still dream, because it's involuntary

Loves to sketch a lot. Will sketch everything he sees

Loves turtlenecks; hates crocs to no end

Big windows with amazing views are his favorite thing

Genevieve "Genny" Maribel Weasley

Prone to anxiety attacks

Polyamorous lesbian, in a closed poly relationship with Noa Spinnet-Bell and Lyric Scamander

Best friends with Romulus, her cousin. She is loud and fierce, and he’s quiet and passionate, and together they’re going to take over the world two steps at a time

Figures out that technology works in the Room of Requirement and starts a tech club that meets on Wednesdays, and has movie nights on Fridays

Brought a pet pig named Prince to Hogwarts

Unofficially a freelance curse breaker, but worked as an intern at the dragon reserve in Romania with her Uncle Charlie the summer after Hogwarts. Eventually moves to South America because her girlfriend, Noa Spinnet-Bell, got recruited by their Quidditch team, Tarapoto Tree-Skimmers

They move to a farm where Genny gets her own horses!!!

Elias "Simon" Jacques Weasley

Has fibromyalgia, which makes it difficult for him to stay in Hogwarts. With the chronic joint pain, fatigue, dizziness, and difficulty with memory, it was easier for him to get privately tutored by his dad, who was the Ancient Runes professor

Severe anxiety and depression, which was most likely caused by his fibromyalgia, but there's no telling

Vegetarian for personal reasons, and had James teach him how to make vegetarian burgers and other vegetarian meals

Loves water-based magic and might have gone into the exchange program for underwater schools in the Bermudas or Oceania, but he didn't want to risk his condition

Can beat anyone at any board game. No one knows how he does it. Ron played wizard chess with him for eight hours once, but eventually gave up on ever beating him

Is the publisher of a Hogwarts exclusive magazine. Uses his older sister’s computers to work on it. Works on his novel in his spare time. Occasionally holds poetry slams by the Great Lake. Just loves writing in general

Matilda "Tilly" Honey Granger-Weasley

Has a photographic/eidetic memory

Got expelled from Hogwarts in her sixth year for using an unforgivable curse on another student who was bullying/harassing Elias, but doesn't regret it all.

Finishes up her studies at a small non-boarding wizarding school in Romania, where she lives with her Uncle Charlie and his queerplatonic partner, Barnaby, and their cat, Wick

With the help of Barnaby, dyes her hair platinum white (think Zoe Kravitz when she had white hair)

Moves to America almost as soon as she graduates

Travels the world to write about different wizarding communities for the Quibbler and for her sister's museum

A little too obsessed with Joan Jett

Loves lucid dreaming

Elliott "Ellie" Ryleigh Weasley-Wood

Genderfluid

Has narcolepsy. Tired all the time and been known to dose off during class. And meals. And conversations

Needs to wear glasses but doesn’t, because they don’t want to look like a nerd. Looks like a complete nerd when they run into shit all the time and it doesn't help that their notes are always wrong because they refuse to sit in the front of class

Witnessed a car accident on a street one day and has been able to see thestrals ever since. Hates to think about it

Loves strong tasting food. Spicy, hot, cold, salty, super sugary, bitter... down to eat anything to be honest

Became a therapist for the wizarding community

Amare "Mar" Sabra Weasley

Own a huge shaggy grey and white dog named Ollie who she took to Hogwarts with her and is her best friend

Ellie, her cousin, is her other best friend and they love building huge forts and watching Disney movies together with tons and tons of snacks. Ollie always joins

Didn’t care one bit about school. Hated studying with a passion. Barely ever showed up to class. Was in detention more than all of her siblings and cousins combined

Worked as an intern at Lee Jordan’s radio broadcasting company for a few summers and hosted her own show that was based around old music after her sixth year

Alcoholic. Can't even be around firewhiskey

[imagineaworlds]

I Do It All For You -- Obi-Wan Kenobi

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: None.

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

Word Count: 1048

As I started to wake up, I could feel that the space beside me in the bed was now empty, and I figured that he must have gotten up early to train or to meditate. I didn’t blame him… There was so much going on in the world— in his world. He was suffering, and he wouldn’t even talk to me about it. I think he almost felt guilty because after it all happened, I was the first person he came to… and we finally kissed. Because why not, right? The Jedi Order was gone, and he had lost everything and almost died. With no Council to tell him that he couldn’t love me, he immediately found me and collapsed in my arms.

But now he was different. He wasn’t the Obi-Wan I knew. He wasn’t the little Obi-Wan who grew up fawning over Satine, and he wasn’t the same Obi-Wan who nearly gave up everything for me. He was just a broken man now. And I wanted so badly for him to just tell me what happened and what he was feeling— but I supposed that he found that comfort in meditation and training, instead. I didn’t blame him for wanting to have some kind of normalcy in his life, and that all had to start with maintaining his schedule.

I turned over in the bed to see if my suspicions were true. Of course I sighed when I saw that Obi-Wan wasn’t laying beside me. He had made the bed nicely for me so that I wouldn’t get cold if I rolled over. I wiped my face of my sleep and stared at the ceiling.

Tatooine was hot, but being inside sometimes made it better— however I could never understand how it was that Obi-Wan could sit out in the heat for hours on end during meditation without even flinching the slightest bit. Sometimes I wish that I had what he had just so that I could understand him better.

“Sleep well?” his voice echoed smoothly from the doorway.

I looked over at him and smiled, “Nearly.”

“Another nightmare?”

I nodded, “The same one.”

“You know that there’s nothing to fear, my love. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“I know…” I whispered.

It was the same dream that I had been having since everything went wrong that fateful day. I had been with the Senator when we got word that the Temple was under attack. He had seen my face, and he had known why I looked pale, and that was why he offered to take me to the Temple. Together, we went to see who— if anyone— was still alive. When we got there, we were met by a squad of clones pointing blasters in our faces and telling us to leave immediately. When the Senator and I started making our way back to the vehicle, a young padawan emerged and attacked the clones. When they killed him, they turned their weapons on us.

I thought Obi-Wan had died that day in that Temple and my heart wrenched again and again. I felt like I was going to die. Even the Senator was sure of it. No one, not even the Masters themselves, could have survived such a traitorous attack. We knew that Coruscant was no longer safe for us. If they ever knew what we saw— or worse what Obi-Wan had told me over the years— they’d kill us without a second thought.  So we ran.

We called out to every Jedi Master’s last known location, but it was hard due to the lack of communication the Council always had with us. We never knew where Anakin and Obi-Wan were being sent next, let alone the other Jedi warriors. For hours we flew around the galaxy in search of our friends, yet no one responded. Master Yoda, Master Windu, Master Plo Koon. All were silent, and we all feared the worst.

Then one miracle came after the other. As I grieved the loss of Obi-Wan, Senator Organa continued his search for his friends. The whole ship erupted with cheers when we finally received word back from Master Yoda, who soon after boarded our ship. The Senator and I were the first ones to approach him, bombarding him with so many questions that he grew overwhelmed. I took a step back and looked down at myself. He was gone and I had to live with that.

“So sad you look, young one. Reason for this, is there?” he asked me.

I nodded, “I fear for Master Kenobi and Master Skywalker’s safety, Master Yoda. It wounds me to think that we’ve lost so many.”

“Dear one, hope there still is, yes? Unsure we all are. Come. Discuss what we know, we must.”

We went to speak with the wise Master privately and he told us everything he knew. He sensed that many Jedi were dead, but when he saw my face, he assured us that there were still some of them left out there, hiding until it would be safe to resurface. I asked Master Yoda if he knew where Obi-Wan was sent before he went missing. Utapau, he told us. Bail Organa informed the room that the planet had fallen to General Grievous and his army of droids.

But the dream always ended differently than how things really happened. In reality, we had finally made contact with Obi-Wan and we rescued him. However, in my dreams we would visit Utapau and discover that he was dead. Over and over again. It was my worst nightmare. To think that there was a chance that I may have never seen Obi-Wan again. Or what if Anakin had killed him on Mustafar? My stomach turned.

“I love you,” Obi-Wan said, still standing in the doorway.

I looked up at him and nodded, “I know… I just don’t want it to ever come true. All the love in the world can’t stop me from worrying.”

“You know that I do it all for you. Don’t you, my love?” He tried to force a small smile onto his sad face. “It’s all to keep you safe.”

I nodded, “I love you.”

He neared the bed, climbed under the blankets, and pulled me close to his chest. “I can never lose you.”

---

star wars family: @sardonicxhumor @flewe @peggy1999 @extra-trash77 @blu3-wine @polaroids @gorgeousdarkangel @cassiopeia-barrow @starryrevelations @marvelismylifffe @Mackie-winchester @bloodyprincess22 @alex--awesome--22 @multifandomgirl16​ @qwerty103 @that-girl-named-alex​ @Lijgffvnj

[nickelkeep]

Slice of Your Pie

Pairings: Dean/Cas, Naomi/Zachariah Rating: Mature Word Count: 6900 Warnings: Homophobic Language, Sexism, Dean going off.  On Ao3

It wasn't like Gabe to call before noon. Usually, because Castiel was working and Gabe knew better, but also because Gabe would be in the middle of a busy shift at one of his bakeries. Castiel hesitantly picked up the phone, grateful for the week off from his job.

"Gabe, are you in prison?"

"Come on, Cassie. Is that the only reason I would call you?" Gabe's voice was boisterous yet nervous. "I'm just checking in on my favorite baby brother."

"I'm your only baby brother." Castiel pulled the phone away from his ear to confirm the time. "Shouldn't you be elbow deep in flour or something, right now?"

"Nope. All three shops are under control, and I took the week off to fly in. Staying with Mom and Dad, you know?" Gabe's happy charade was faltering, and Castiel had a feeling of what was coming. "It's always great being home. Especially when I get to spend time with my favorite brother."

"Still, your only brother. Did Anna say no to you crashing at her place?" Castiel leaned back in his couch and kicked his legs up on the coffee table, careful to not disturb the stack of papers he had been grading.

"Anna's out of town until Thanksgiving, and something about she doesn't trust me to not burn down her house."

Castiel laughed. "That's a legitimate concern. Are you asking to crash here?"

"Actually, no. Mom and Dad have left me alone, for the most part." Gabe let out a heavy sigh, as though he had been burdened with the most laborious task on the planet. "Are you coming for Thanksgiving?"Castiel pulled the phone away and looked at the clock on it for the third time. "Gabe, have you been drinking?"

"Look, I told them it would be pointless, but they didn't listen. They want all three of us there for the holiday. Dad said he's getting up there in age, and he wants to be surrounded by his children and non-existent grandchildren."

"Like he's getting grandchildren from any of us." Castiel rolled his eyes. "No. I'm not coming."

"You know that's not going to fly." Gabe suddenly sounded exhausted. "Me and Anna will be here."

"Great, then he's got his two kids, happy marriage and white picket fence. Make sure you pick up a dog for him before you leave."

"Castiel, please. Don't make me beg. Or sic Anna on you."

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. "Anna's smart enough to not call or to tell our parents to piss off."

"It's just a couple hours on one day. You can cold shoulder them and give them the good old silent treatment." Gabe's voice took on a subtle hint of pleading. "Help me get them off my case and yours."

"I'm much happier spending my Thanksgiving at home with take out and a movie marathon. I might be alone, but at least I'm not getting attacked every other word out of their mouths." Castiel rubbed his forehead, trying to erase the thought of going to his parents for the holiday.

"That was one year, Cassie."

"Excuse me? What fiasco have you been watching?" Castiel stood up and moved to the kitchen to get a beer. "'Why are you single, Castiel?' 'Are you over your phase, Castiel?' 'Castiel, are you going to find a nice woman and give us grandkids?'" Castiel scoffed. "Don't even get me started on the digs they take at my job."

Gabe took in a suction of air, indicating that he was working on an idea. After a pause, he spoke up. "Bring a date."

"Right, like I'm going to find a guy to date me in less than a week." Castiel rolled his eyes.

"There are escort services, Cassie." Gabe paused. "Wait, that's it. There's also Craig's List. See if you can find a date for the day."

"That's ridiculous."

"I'm serious, hop on, look in the area, and check out casual encounters. That's got to be someone else looking for someone to spend the day with."

Castiel rolled his eyes and grabbed his laptop off the coffee table. "I thought that was for more... intimate encounters."

"HA! Like I'd send you to that part of the website. I certainly don't want to picture my baby bro doing the do with a dude."

"But, you just want me to bring a random person to Mom and Dad's to keep them off your back and mine." Castiel cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he typed in the address for Craig's List. "Look, I make no promises. If I don't make it, you can tell them that their worst fear came to fruition."

Gabe laughed. "That you married some random guy behind their backs, and you're moving to Venice to be Gondolier Captains."

"Maybe that one would push father over the edge." Castiel laughed. "Maybe this isn't a bad idea. I'll call you tomorrow with a definite answer. You and I both know either are good."

"That's my Castiel." The warm affection caused Castiel to smile. "Please give it a sincere look over, ok?"

Castiel promised to give it the old college try and disconnected his call with Gabe.

He pulled up the Casual Encounters section of Craig's List and was surprised to find out how right Gabe was. Many people were offering their services for Thanksgiving company. As he scrolled through the ads, one with an interesting title caught his attention.

Alone on Thanksgiving? Want to stop the ‘Why are you still single?’ questions?

I’m a 35-year-old guy with a GED and a loud, beautiful muscle car that’s older than I am. When people try to guess my age, I get anywhere from 32-38 depending on if I’ve taken the time to put on clothes that aren’t holey jeans and flannel shirts and do my hair. I work as a cook in my friend’s restaurant and tend bar for an aunt when I need extra cash. So if you’re looking for a platonic person to be your SO for a day, I can do it.

I am bisexual, so I don’t care if you’re male or female.

At your request, I can:

Hit on family members (including your parents).

Start an argument over politics and religion (I’m a liberal atheist).

and/or

Propose to you (I have a ring that works perfectly for this).

I can also act drunk as a skunk, but I personally don’t drink. I’ve been sober for a few years now. Need a ‘drunken’ fistfight started? I’m your guy.

I’m not looking for payment other than the free meal that comes from accompanying you.

Castiel smiled. This was perfect. It was a guy, he would appear to be less than to his folks, and he promised that he could cause a ruckus. Castiel quickly clicked the contact link and got their number to text them.

[1:00 PM Castiel:] Hi, I just found your add on Craig's List. Is your thanksgiving dinner date offer still open?

He waited several minutes, scrolling through a few more adds, just in case, when his phone's notification for a text message went off.

[1:07 PM 555-555-6767:] Hey, yeah. I didn't think anyone was interested, or it got buried. Name's Dean. You?

Castiel smiled, this crazy idea might actually work.

[1:09 PM Castiel:] My name is Castiel, and I am very interested in you pissing off my parents.

Castiel hit send and realized he needed more information about the random stranger he invited to Thanksgiving with him. As he got ready to send a request to meet in public, Dean beat him to it.

[1:12 PM Dean:] Interesting name there. You free in about an hour to meet? Would kinda like to see you and talk to you before I conform. It also sells the dating thing better. [1:15 PM Dean:] Any particular place where we can meet?

Castiel sighed out a breath of relief before sucking in a breath of panic. Where could they meet?

[1:17 PM Castiel:] A cup of coffee or tea, maybe? I only know of Right Ground, but they're good.

[1:19 PM Dean:] Oh hell yeah! My friend is the owner. The petite redhead?

[1:20 PM Castiel:] Charlie, right? I've seen her a couple of times.

[1:22 PM Dean:] Perfect! I get off soon and can head right over.

[1:24 Castiel:] Sounds good. What should I look for?

[1:30 Dean] Black Impala. She's my pride and joy. If you're looking for me, Sandy Brown hair, Green Eyes, lots of freckles, and uh...

[1:31 Castiel:] What?

Castiel tilted his head in confusion as he waited for Dean's reply. Was this going to be where he mentioned he had a humpback?

[1:36 Dean:] I'm a bit bowlegged. I've been told it's a bit of a turnoff, but I figured I'd be honest upfront.

Castiel let out a laugh of relief.

[1:38 Castiel:] There is nothing wrong with bowlegs. I've heard they make some things easier. 😘

As soon as Castiel sent the message, he instantly wished he could take it back. Instead, he quickly sent a follow-up message.

[1:39 Castiel:] I'm going to go get ready. See you in about 25 minutes.

Castiel let out a huff of air while waiting for lighting to strike, or a boulder to be dropped on him.

[1:41 Dean:] LOL! See you soon, dude. (Dude, right?)

Castiel didn't get a chance to respond as he quickly hopped in the shower and got ready to meet Dean for the first time.

…

Castiel had arrived slightly ahead of his and Dean's arranged meeting time. He didn't see a black Impala anywhere, and when he walked inside, there were no men that matched Dean's initial description. Castiel headed to a corner seat that he normally tried to grab when he went to get coffee and found it surprisingly empty.

He sat down, facing the entrance with his back against the wall. A little kernel of self-doubt starting to grow in the back of his mind. Charlie was behind the counter, and he briefly wondered if Dean texted her to tell him to keep an eye for him.

Castiel went to grab his phone to check the time when the low rumble of a muscle car stopped him. He stole another glance at Charlie, and a huge smile crept upon her face. Castiel looked out the front windows. Dean's black Chevy Impala pulled into a spot, and out exited Adonis himself.

Dean didn't give himself enough credit when he described himself. The sandy brown hair was styled short and looked as though it would be soft for Cas to run his fingers through. And the freckles! Dean was a walking star map, and Cas wanted to trace his fingers along the freckles he could see. The only thing he couldn't see were Dean's self-proclaimed green eyes.

Once Dean entered the cafe, Charlie yelled to him and ran out from behind the counter. She wrapped her arms around him and started animatedly yelling at him for not checking in often enough. Dean graciously accepted her punishment and walked further into the shop. Castiel could finally make out the bowlegs that Dean appeared to be self-conscience about. If anything, the legs emphasized everything perfectly.

Castiel shook his head once, twice, and a third time for good measure. This was supposed to be a professional business interaction. He stood up while sliding out of the booth and walked over to Dean and Charlie. "Hello, I'm sorry for interrupting, but are you Dean?"

Charlie looked at Castiel and smiled before looking back at Dean. "You come to my shop for a date, Winchester? Not to see me? I'm offended. Now you don't get that slice of pie." She punched Dean in the shoulder.

"Hey! It wasn't my idea, it was Cas'. He said he liked your coffee." Dean looked at Castiel.

"He is right, I can show you the text message." Castiel reached for his phone in his pocket before finding his hand being swatted away. 

"I believe him, and you. Gotta give the old man shit, though."

"Old man?" Dean blinked in shock. "I'm offended."

Charlie shrugged and walked back around the counter. "If you two want drinks, get up here and order before we have the final rush of the day."

"After you, Cas." Dean gestured. "Also, is Cas ok? Not sure how to pronounce your full name."

"Cas - Tee - Ell. But Cas is fine. If anything, it would infuriate my mother and father more." Cas smiled. "My brother calls me Cassie, I hate it, but I let him get away with it."

"Okay, one brother. Any other siblings?" Dean smiled at Cas.

Cas blushed from Dean's smile, "I have my brother Gabriel and my sister Anna."

"Are they part of the deal? Or are they off-limits?" Dean asked. "I mean, I clearly know you want me to go after your pops at the very least."

"You can jab at them if they jab at you." Cas conceded. "Looking for someone to come with me was actually Gabe's idea. So he may not appreciate being a part of the prank."

"Okay. We can play that by ear."

Cas tilted his head. "You said you wanted to see if we clicked before you agreed to the whole thing."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Dean winked. "So, tell me about your parents?"

The pair got up to the counter before Cas could answer, and Charlie sat down two cups in front of them. "Dean, black americano with room for cream. Cas, if I remember correctly, spiced chai latte."

"Thank you, Charlie," Cas responded as he went to grab his wallet.

"I threw it on Dean's tab. You two have a fun date." Charlie winked at them and shooed them so she could get to the next customer.

Dean blushed and looked at Cas and mouthed Sorry before picking up his cup and walking over to where they kept the cream.

Cas took the opportunity to grab his booth back and waited for Dean to join him. "So, you asked about my parents?"

"They're the targets, right?"

"Yeah." Cas nodded and took a sip of his drink. "My mother is Naomi, my father is Zachariah."

Dean held a finger up as he finished taking a drink. "Your family highly religious?"

"What gave that away?" Cas tried to hide his disdain, but by the look on Dean's face, he wasn't doing a good job.

"Gabriel, Castiel, Zachariah... Pretty sure there's a Naomi in the bible too." Dean placed a finger on his lips. "Not too sure about Anna."

"Prophetess in Luke's Gospel," Castiel responded.

Dean nodded in quiet contemplation. He paused a moment, and Castiel could see the gears turning. "Safe to assume you're gay or bi?"

"Very much Gay. I've been told it's a phase my whole life. My parents keep asking when I'm going to bring a girlfriend home. You're the first 'boyfriend' I'm bringing home." Castiel took another sip of his drink.

"Got it. What do you do for a living?"

"High School English Teacher." Cas scoffed. "Reason number two hundred fifty-one I'm a disappointment."

"Being a teacher is a disappointment?" Dean shook his head. "Well, I'll make sure that they know I'm a cook by day, bartender by night. I'm sure they'll love that."

"Your sarcasm is perfect. They both hate sarcasm, despite it being their first form of communication." Cas leaned back in his chair. "They definitely look down their noses at people too."

"Well, I'm sold. Food, chaos, and spending time with an attractive man?" Dean rested his elbows on the table and rest his chin on his knuckles. "This may be one of my best Thanksgiving in years." Dean winked. "What time should I pick you up?"

…

Over the next few days, Cas found himself texting back and forth with Dean frequently. He kept trying to remind himself that it was just so they could get to know each other so they could pass off as a couple on Thanksgiving. However, with the way that Dean flirted, it was harder and harder to keep that line from blurring.

[Wednesday 3:47 PM Dean:] Hey Cas, I know I'm supposed to be an asshole, but should I attempt to bring something with me?

Cas laughed, picturing how his mother would react if she were brought a gift from Dean.

[3:49 PM Cas:] You don't have to bring anything at all, although the image of my mother turning up her nose is both amusing and disappointing.

[3:51 PM Dean:] So, bring a six-pack of cheap beer. Got it.

[3:52 PM Cas:] You're incorrigible.

Cas found himself setting a special notification for Dean's text messages. He fought hard against doing it, as they were going to go their separate ways after Thanksgiving. Still, it seemed like something you would do for a significant other.

He heard the notification go off, and he picked his phone up again.

[4:00 PM Dean:] If I were a betting man, I'd bet that you liked it though.

Cas found that he couldn't disagree.

…

Cas' parents, completely surprised that he was coming and bringing a date, asked Cas to arrive around 3 PM on Thanksgiving.

Dean showed up at 1:30 PM.

"Hey, Cas." Dean stood in the doorway to Cas' apartment and leaned against the doorframe.

Cas couldn't help the smile that grew across his face. Dean was dressed up in a nice pair of jeans with a black tee-shirt and an open deep red button-up. "Hello, Dean." He stepped back to let Dean in. "You're early."

"I hope you don't mind. I was a little nervous." Dean smiled sheepishly. "Meeting the parents is kind of a big deal."

"That was the whole deal, Dean. You join me, free dinner, you make them regret telling me to come to dinner."

Dean's smile dropped a little, so slight that Cas almost missed it. "Right. I knew that."

"Everything okay, Dean?" Cas stepped closer and placed his hand gently on Dean's shoulder.

"Yeah, of course." Dean's face betrayed his words, but Cas let it go. "I figured I could also come over and help you load anything that might need to go with us in the car."

Cas frowned, unhappy at seeing this side of Dean. "Want to take a seat? We have some time to kill."

"Actually, can I hit the head? Then we can pack up Baby. You said it takes about 45 minutes to get there on a good day, and there is some traffic."

"Yeah," Cas responded as he pointed to the hallway. "First door on the left." He watched as Dean stepped away, wondering what changed so drastically.

Dean quickly finished up in the bathroom and found Cas in the kitchen, juggling a casserole and a couple of pies. "Dude, please tell me your pies are good."

"As long as they don't hit the floor, they should be." Cas smiled and allowed Dean to take them off his pile. "I remember Charlie teasing you about pie, so I stopped in special to ask what kind you like."

"Pecan?" Dean asked, a huge grin coming back across his face when Cas nodded. "Dude, you went to Charlie to ask her? Why didn't you just ask me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise, to thank you for this week." The next words escaped Cas' lips before he could stop them. "I'm glad that at the very least, I got to make a new friend out of this."

"Well yeah, Charlie's awesome," Dean responded without missing a beat.

Cas rolled his eyes. "I mean you, Dean."

"I, uh..." Dean's cheeks flushed scarlet as he stuttered over his words. "You're awesome too, Cas."

"Come on, then, let's go load up your car." Cas held up the casserole dish and nodded his head towards the front door. "Sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave."

The pair of them quickly loaded up the car, and Dean handed Cas his phone to punch in his parent's address. The first few minutes of the drive were quiet, as Cas appreciated the roar of the engine. 

"So, uh, Cas." Dean broke the silence once they got on the highway. "Question for you."

"I'm listening." Cas looked over at Dean and took a moment to admire his outline, highlighted by the sun. 

"Well, we determined that we've been together for a few months and that we met when you came by my place of work. But, uh, are you ok with a little PDA to sell it?" Dean's cheeks turned bright red again, as though he were embarrassed to ask.

Cas slid a little closer to Dean to be able to reach his hand and hold it. When his skin brushed against Dean's, it was as though sparks of electricity shot through his body, and Cas shivered involuntarily.

"Okay there, Cas?" Dean stole a glance at Cas and smirked, before returning his eyes to the road.

Cas nodded as he found his words lacking. They enjoyed the rest of the ride in comfortable silence, only the music and the occasional hum from Dean filling the car.

Once they arrived, Cas took a moment to look at Dean and give him a final once over. The shade of red he was wearing was enticing and made his freckles and eyes pop more than Cas would have thought possible. It had taken all of Cas' willpower to not trace over them with his finger.

"Ready, Cas?"

"I am." Cas nodded before looking up at their dreaded destination.

The pair got out of the car, and Dean took Cas' hand before going to the trunk. Cas looked down at their hands and felt a soft warmth against his cheek. He turned to find that Dean had kissed his cheek.

"Sorry, I should have asked first." Dean apologized, running his free hand through his hair.

"Dean, you already asked, and I had given you permission." Cas smiled and let out a little sigh. "Let's grab the stuff and get this over with."

Dean popped the trunk and handed the pies to Cas, grabbing the casserole, before closing it back up and following Cas to the house. Cas had shifted the pies to one arm and rang the doorbell. His hand immediately went back to Dean's, and he tried his hardest to not let his nerves show.

"You don't just walk into your parent's place?" Dean tilted his head in confusion. "Even if you don't get along, isn't it home?"

"This place has never been home, Dean," Cas replied, clipping his response as the door opened.

A stoic, cold woman answered the door, looking down at them, despite the pair being taller than her. "Castiel. You came." She scrutinized Dean more thoroughly. "And you brought a friend."

"Mother, I told you I was bringing my boyfriend." He turned to look at Dean and smiled. "This is my significant other, Dean."

Naomi's lips pulled in to a tighter pout. "That term wouldn't be correct, Castiel. Come in. You know where to set them up." She stepped back into the house, allowing them entrance.

"I make two pies and your favorite cheese and spinach casserole," Cas mentioned as he walked past. "I'll need to borrow the oven for five minutes once the turkey is done."

"I don't know, Castiel." Naomi picked up her pace to walk in front of them. "You should have asked if the oven would be available to cook things in."

Dean stared in disbelief at the way Naomi was talking down to Cas. "You mean you can't spare five minutes to make the cheese gooey again? I didn't realize heat was a limited resource."

"Excuse you?" Naomi placed her hand on her chest in shock. "Castiel, you will keep your friend in line."

"Boyfriend, Mother. But he's right. This is your favorite dish. I made it just for you. You don't want it warm?"

Naomi rolled her eyes as the pair set down their food offerings. "I'll figure it out." She glared at Dean. "Why don't you go find your father? He should be in the TV Room watching the game."

"Football. Sure. Let's go, Cas." Dean watched as Naomi cringed at the shortened version of her youngest son's name.

Cas tried to not laugh as he led Dean to the TV Room. He leaned in close to Dean to whisper about Zachariah. "Dean, he absolutely hates his name being shortened to Zach, and he hates the Eagles."

"Oh, I am all over this." Dean winked and wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulder.

"Father?" Cas inquired as they entered the room. 

"Castiel. You came." His eyes traveled to Dean. "And you brought a friend."

"This is my boyfriend, Dean." Cas felt the words falling easier from his lips. "Dean, this is my father, Zachariah."

Dean unwrapped his arm off Cas' shoulder and extended his hand to Zachariah. "Please to meet you, Zach."

Zachariah stiffened, and his eyes became cold as ice. "Zachariah, please." He took Dean's hand and shook it.

"Of course, sorry about that, Zachariah. I'm just a nickname kind of person, ain't that right, Cas?" Dean took his hand back and wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulders again, leaning in to touch their foreheads together.

Cas could see the vein in his father's forehead start to throb. "Castiel, do you have no respect for your name?"

"I do, as does Dean. But my name is archaic, and sometimes it's just easier to shorten it." Cas looked at his father and stood his ground.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Zachariah." Dean stepped between the two. "Cowboys vs. Eagles, right?" He pointed at the TV.

"You watch sports?" Zachariah asked, his doubt not hidden at all.

"Hell yeah!" Dean hopped over the back of the couch and landed next to Zachariah on the sofa. "Just cause I like to suck a dick every now and then, doesn't mean I can't like sports." He leaned forward and grabbed some crackers off a platter on the coffee table. "Oh shit, Eagles up, 21-3! Fly Eagles, Fly!"

"Castiel, a word!" Zachariah demanded, scrambling out of his seat. Dean looked at Cas in worry, not relaxing even when Cas gave him a gesture indicating he'd be fine.

Cas followed Zachariah into the kitchen, where Naomi was mashing potatoes. "Who is this bastard friend of yours?" Zachariah hissed, grabbing Naomi's attention to join in.

"He's not a bastard, and he is my boyfriend," Cas emphasized the word boyfriend for the umpteenth time since arriving. 

"You are in a phase, Castiel. We've found some nice girls who are very interested in you." Naomi added. Before she could continue; however, the front door opened, Gabe and Anna walking in.

"CASSIE!" Gabe called out, causing both of their parents to cringe. "You came home!" He dropped Anna's duffle bag in the foyer and bolted into the kitchen, trying to pick up his younger brother in a bear hug. "You seriously need to stop growing!"

Anna walked up behind Gabe and pushed him to the side, wrapping her arms around her younger brother. "Hello, Castiel. I've missed you." She pulled back and offered an apologetic smile. "Gabriel told me you were bringing your boyfriend to dinner. Is he here?"

"Castiel's friend is in the TV Room," Zachariah responded before Cas could. "And he is a rude, ungrateful, little prick."

"I can assure you it's not little." Dean walked into the kitchen. "Sorry, I heard the commotion, and I just wanted to make sure Cas was ok." Dean walked over to Cas and wrapped his arms around Cas's waist. "Gonna introduce me, babe?"

Cas melted into Dean's embrace, allowing their actions to cross into new territory. "Dean, this is my older brother Gabe and my older sister Anna."

"I've heard all about you two." Dean lets go of Cas long enough to shake their hands before holding Cas again.

"Well, why don't you all go into the TV Room. Your father and I will finish up dinner." Naomi responded coldly, clearly annoyed by Dean's presence.

"That sounds like a plan. Get that damn football off the TV." Gabe responded.

"But the Eagles are winning. They're hands down the best team in the NFL this year, wouldn't you agree, Zach?"

If looks could kill, Zachariah would have killed not only Dean but all three of his children as well. Gabe, sensing his father's temper rising, herded Dean and his siblings out of the kitchen. "Jesus, Cassie, where did you find this one?"

"Took your advice." Cas shrugged.

"Word to the wise?" Gabe looked at Dean. "Keep him."

"Dean, you don't happen to have any siblings, do you?" Anna asked.

"Brother, half-brother, and an adopted sister. I'm the oldest." Dean tilted his head. "Why?"

Gabe and Anna exchanged looks before Anna followed up with another question. "They single?"

Dean laughed, a rich, warm sound that made Cas melt. "Sammy's not. I don't know with Adam, but he's the youngest of us all, barely legal. Charlie's single, and flaming lesbian."

Anna looked at Gabe. "Sorry, guess I win this round."

"Wait, Anna, you too?" Cas' head tilted in shock and confusion.

She looked over Cas' shoulder to see if their parents were listening. "Bi, Castiel. I'm Bi."

Castiel looked in shock at Anna, then turned to Gabriel. "Are you going to drop a bombshell on me too?"

"I don't care about gender?" Gabe responded.

"What? When?" Cas palmed his forehead and sat on the sofa.

Both Gabe and Anna had the decency to blush. Anna responded first. "I figured it out in college."

"I've dated many people over the years, Cassie. I just didn't always bring them home to mom and pops." Gabriel added.

"You're so much braver than the both of us," Anna whispered. "You brought Dean home with you."

Dean sat on the sofa next to Cas and wrapped his arm around him. He leaned in and quietly spoke into Cas' ear. "Want me to prank them, too?"

Cas burst out laughing, shaking his head and throwing his arms around Dean's neck. "I know why you two did it," Cas stated while hugging Dean tight. "I don't even think I can be mad."

"Dinner time," Naomi announced, appearing in the doorway to the TV Room. "We would appreciate no hanging all over each other at the table, Castiel." Naomi turned her nose up and walked back towards the kitchen.

"Let's go knock out this wonderful holiday, shall we?" Gabe clapped his hands together.

The dining room was awkwardly quiet as the all entered and took their seats. Naomi stood at her place and looked at Zachariah. "Grace, Dear?"

Zachariah nodded and clasped his hands together.

Lord, bless this food and grant that we May thankful for thy mercies be; Teach us to know by whom we're fed; Bless us with Christ, the living bread. Lord, make us thankful for our food, Bless us with faith in Jesus' blood; With the bread of life our soul's supply, That we may live with Christ on high. Amen.

When none of his children nor Dean responded, Amen, Zachariah cleared his throat. "I said, Amen."

Gabe and Anna quickly said it, and Castiel murmured it, but Dean refused to say it.

"Dean, is there something wrong with your voice all of a sudden?" Zachariah shot another deathly stare at Dean.

"Nope, my voice works just fine. I just don't do religion." Dean shrugged. "Guess you could say I'm an Atheist."

Cas flinched as he heard his mother gasp and prepare to yell at him. However, before she could get a word out, Dean spoke up.

"Are you about to yell at Cas? Cause Cas says Grace before every meal. I respect that he does. You know why?" Dean picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes and scooped a heap onto his plate. "Cause Cas doesn't force me to believe something I don't. He's kind, he's caring, and he's understanding. Clearly, you two didn't teach him that." Dean scooped a heap of potatoes on Cas' plate then passed the bow to Anna.

"How dare you!" Naomi spat. "You are a guest in this home."

"Yeah, let me tell you how guestly it's felt since I entered your house." Dean stabbed at the plate of turkey on the table and grabbed a few slices for himself and a few for Cas. "You both refuse to acknowledge my relationship with your son. You both have looked down on me for being a man who is attracted to men and women. God forbid I slip that I work two jobs." Dean smiled sarcastically. "Oops."

Dean passed the fork to Anna, who was staring at her mother as though she would explode. "You know, Naomi. How would you feel if I told you the farce between you and Zachariah here were invalid and not real?"

"We are one man, one woman. That's how it was created. You don't find any instances of your perversion in nature." Naomi gripped the edge of the table.

"Actually, Mom," Anna spoke up. "This last trip for NatGeo? I told you where they sent me. I was in the Savannah. I saw gay and lesbian animals everywhere."

"And the rangers released a document saying that the animals learned it from homosexual humans." Zachariah pointed sharply at his daughter. "You will speak when spoken to."

"You're going to tell the smartest person at the table to shut up?" Dean let out a low whistle and took a bite of a roll he had grabbed. "Man, I'd listen to everything she has to say. She works for National Fucking Geographic." He turned to Cas. "I'll still talk books with you all the time, though, sweetheart." He leaned in and kissed Cas' cheek.

"I said there would be no hanging over each other!" Naomi slammed her hands down on the table.

Dean snorted. "Me, kissing Cas' cheek, is not hanging all over him." He rested his hand on the small of Cas' back. "I bet a hundred dollars if Anna had brought along a boyfriend, or Gabe a girlfriend, you'd call a kiss on the cheek cute."

"Leave." Zachariah's voice sent a chill through the room. "Gabriel can take Castiel home."

"Like I'm going to leave Cas here to take more of your abuse. How long have you been telling him that he's wrong?" Dean whipped his head to Naomi. "How long have you been calling him a pervert?"

"We've never called him that." Naomi defended.

"Mom, you literally just did." Gabriel finally spoke. "You just called being Gay a perversion." 

"Castiel isn't gay," Zachariah spoke up.

"Yeah, he is, Dad." Anna stared at her father. "And I'm bisexual. When I told you two about my boyfriend, Rupert? I was actually talking about my girlfriend, Ruby. Ruby and I broke up, and I couldn't properly mourn that relationship because I didn't have a mother who understood me."

"Well, if we're all coming out. I have slept with more dudes than I have fingers." Gabe added. "I've also slept with as many women. I've slept with as many non-binary people. And you know what? I've also slept with Trans people. Love is love, and attraction is attraction."

Naomi looked as though she were about to faint, and Zachariah pointed a knife at Dean. "This is your fault."

"MY FAULT?" Dean yelled, finally raising his voice. "I just met Gabe and Anna today. They were queer long before I met them. I'm dating Cas, who came to me and asked me out. Tell me how this is my fault."

"You made them think it was ok to share this information."

"And you made them feel like they were less than nothing. You're the problem here. Not me, not a single one of your children."

Cas stared at Dean in awe. No one had ever come to his defense so quickly, and here Dean was also defending his siblings. "Dean, I think we should go."

"That's the first smart thing you've said all night, Castiel." Naomi snapped.

"Oh no, you did not." Dean turned to face the Ice Queen at the end of the table. "Did you seriously just call my boyfriend stupid? You know, your youngest son? The person I fall for more and more each time I talk to him?"

"You know nothing about this family, and you came in here and–"

"Ok, Boomer." Dean cut Naomi off, and Gabe spat out his drink laughing. "Cas, let's grab the food you brought and head back."

"Get out of my house!" Zachariah shouted.

"Already working on it." Dean shot off a one-fingered salute and stood up with Cas and followed him to the kitchen.

Dean quickly found the two pies, while Cas found his casserole hidden in the fridge. He pulled it out and frowned, showing Dean. "She was never going share."

"Cas," Dean set down the pies and took the casserole, setting it down as well. He pulled Cas into his arms and held him tightly. "I'm sorry if I did too much."

"I think you could have kept going." Gabriel entered the kitchen. "Cassie, you brought pies? Trying to one-up me?"

"Dean likes pecan pie. You usually bring pumpkin." Cas melted into Dean's embrace, determined to make sure it wouldn't be the last time Dean held him like that.

"Touché." Gabriel let out a sigh. "Got room for two at your place?"Anna entered the kitchen. "Go pack your things, Gabe." She looked at Cas. "Your address still the same? We're not staying here."

"You're just going to crash with me? How do you know I don't have a roommate?"

Anna cut Cas a look. "You two are a new couple, you haven't moved in together yet."

Gabe called to them from the foyer. "Let's roll before they figure out how to trap us here."

"Coming, Gabe," Anna replied. "Meet you at your place, Cassie?"

Cas' face lit up at his sister calling him a nickname - even if it was one he wasn't particularly fond of - and not Castiel. "Yeah. Same address." He reluctantly pulled out of Dean's arms and grabbed the casserole, placing it in Dean's hands. "We should escape too." Cas picked up the pies and followed Anna out of the kitchen.

"Yes, sir." Dean smiled and followed the siblings out of the house.

…

Once back at Cas' apartment, this time with two siblings in tow, Dean helped Cas get the food in the house and prepared to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" Gabe tilted his head in confusion, a trait all three siblings shared.

"I messed up a lot for you guys today. I'll let the three of you have your Thanksgiving together."

Gabe and Anna looked at Cas, who took Dean's hand into his. "I know we haven't been together long."

"Yeah, when did you find him, Monday, after we hung up?" Gabe smirked.

"Shut up, Gabe." Cas, Anna, and Dean said in unison.

Cas waited to see if Gabe would say anything else before continuing. "When I did this, I didn't think it would be more than a business arrangement. But I want this to be more. Please, Dean?"

"I'm not sure why, you still want that after today, but I would be lying if I said I didn't want more with you." Dean pressed his forehead against Cas'.

"Well, that settles it." Anna smiled. "Welcome to the family, Dean."

While Gabe and Anna set up in the guest room, Dean called up Charlie, and Cas ordered some Chinese food. Within a few minutes, Charlie was banging on Cas' door, bringing gifts of rolls and croissants and coffee from the Cafe. The two fiery redheads were introduced and instantly hit it off.

Their dinner arrived shortly after, and they all curled up on the various chairs and sofas together. They took turns picking movies to watch and created their own Thanksgiving.

As the night crept upon them, Charlie apologized but reminded them that she had to get up early for Black Friday shoppers who would hit up her cafe for coffee and breakfast. She exchanged numbers with Anna and told them to not be strangers.

Dean got up to go, and Cas grabbed his hand. "You said you're not working tomorrow. That the restaurant was closed for a long weekend."

"I did." Dean smiled at Cas. "I also don't want to impose. You have a full house right now, and I'm not sure if Gabe or Anna are claiming the couch."

Cas tilted his head in exasperation. "Did you think I wanted you to sleep on the couch?" He looked around, Anna had run to the restroom, and Gabe went to go grab a couple more of the chocolate croissants Charlie had brought. "I want you to stay with me tonight."

"You do?" Dean swallowed - hard. "Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you to." Cas stood up and led Dean back to his bedroom. "We don't have to go that far tonight," Cas added as they entered the room. "I'd actually prefer that we didn't.

"This is new, but it feels like forever at the same time." Cas continued, "Did you mean what you said?"

Dean wrapped his arms over Cas' shoulders. "I've meant every word I said today, but what phrase comes specifically to mind?"

"That you fall for me more and more each time we talk?"

 Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips against Cas', a soft caress that left them breathless. "One-hundred percent, Cas."