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ponderingmoonlight · 5 months ago

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Sanemi finding out you pretended to be a boy in order to get trained properly and him falling head over heels for you after

Pairing: Sanemi x fem!reader

Word Count: 4,2k

Synopsis: If there's one thing you always hated, it was being underestimated. Because you're nothing but a petite girl in the eyes of every other demon slayer you stumbled upon with even the sound hashira going easy on you. They left you no choice but to pretend that you're a boy in order to finally get the training you deserve. Little did you know it will be the wind hashira himself who uncovers your dirty secret...

Warnings: it's Sanemi so language, the bonus scene is for those of you who are in desperate need of some spice (no direct smut), last part not proofread because this needs to be published and I'm tired lol

Thank you sooo much for that super cool request, @xxx-oneofthegirls-xxx, I hope you like what I came up with (also, you made me listen to one of the girls nonstop while writing this hehe)

You stare at your foreign reflection in the mirror, cheeks still burning. This looks ridiculous and you know it, your plan so plain and stupid that you regret your decision more and more with each passing second.

But you have to do this.

��Don’t overwork yourself, (y/n). You’ll rest here while the others run a few extra miles.”

“But Tengen-sama, I-“

“Here, let’s get you something to eat!”, Suma cried out.

“You’re overworking that poor woman, Tengen-sama”, Mako commented dryly.

“I already told her to take a break!”

Because without pretending that you’re a boy, they’ll never take you seriously. Not when you’re a petite girl, not when everyone treats you like porcelain because of your small frame and gender. You came her because you’re ready to fight, because being a demon slayer is your true destiny. You want to get trained hard, you urge to surpass yourself each and every day.

You stare at your eyes filled with determination in the mirror. Therefore, you need to make sure they see nothing but a normal boy in you.

It’s hard to breathe properly with countless bandages tied around your chest in order to hide your feminine curves to their eyes. Carefully, you tie a ribbon around the ends of your hair and pull them up. Good, now your hair is about shoulder-length. A plain hairband that is convincing enough as a sweat band turns your usual longer hair into a temporary short cut.

Is this enough? Will the mist hashira actually believe you?

Confidently, you change into the uniform you stole from a boy nearby earlier and grab your katana. There is no other way than finding out.

“Where’s that little girl? Didn’t Tengen-sama allow her to continue?”

“Huh, you mean the little wallflower? I bet she gave up when she saw what hashira training really means. She wasn’t even strong enough to hold a sword.”

Your heart drops to the floor while your eyes automatically look down in panic and distress. Everyone underestimates you over the sheer fact that you’re a girl. But why? Why would you give up? Why is everyone thinking you aren’t strong enough when women like Shinobu Kocho show them how it’s done? You didn’t train since you were 4 to get reduced to your gender and height.

No, you’ll show them soon enough how good you really are and that you’re no one to be messed with.

“Look at him!”

“Who is that guy?”

“He fights as good as Tanjiro!”

“I’ve never seen him around. Do you know him?”

And you did. Training after training, hashira after hashira. Somehow, you surpassed them all. Despite your small frame, your disadvantage towards the boys with their ability to move freely in the scorching hot sun, you made it.

“It seems like you’re decent handling your sword. I have no use for you here anymore”, Obanai proclaims dryly.

You…you did it? You’ve been here for 3 days, spent the first day tied to a wall while getting smacked by some useless comrades. But you really convinced him, the serpent hashira, the man a lot of the others were so afraid of.

Your heart jumps up and down in excitement. You convinced him.

“Thank you”, you mumble in reply with deepened voice.

“Let’s see how you’ll keep up with Shinazugawa. Now get lost.”

Shinazugawa? You’ve heard that name before. Is this…the wind hashira? Your eyes widen as you sprint down the forest in the merciless sun. If Iguro Obanai is considered rough, Sanemi Shinazugawa has to be a menace. You heard from countless slayers that went back home as soon as they arrived at his estate, some beaten up so badly that they needed treatment.

For days.

You swallow hard. If this man finds out that you’re not who you pretend to be, you’ll be dead. But you have no other choice. After everything you’ve been through, you won’t give up because of the wind hashira’s bad reputation.

“How’s training going?”, Sanemi mumbles while staring into the distance.

“All of them are trash. There’s only one that is decent, though”, Obanai replies dryly.

“Don’t tell me it’s that Kamado brat-“

“No, I’ve never seen that boy before. No one seems to know who he is. He’s pretty small for his age and acts even weirder than the others but I can’t deny that he’s skilled. Even Kanroji…praised him”, Obanai presses out.

He’ll definitely never forget you for taking up the space of a full hand-written site in her note to him.

“You all went too easy on him, then. I’ll mop the floor with his ass when he gets to me.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Your breath gets stuck in your throat. There it is, the estate of the wind hashira. Only him and the stone hashira are left. Only these two until you’re able to drop your false identity and use your newest skills in a real fight. When you’re done here, you’ll finally be able to protect your village properly. No demon will ever hurt your friends and family again.

You just have to get through a few more days of training. A few more days with the wind hashira…

-two days later-

“Get lost, brats”, Sanemi barks out in sheer frustration.

Are these losers really supposed to be useful in a fight against Kibutsuji? They aren’t even good enough to hold their wooden sword correctly, let alone find the right stance to fight. God, this is such a waste of time, so fucking annoying that he smashes his own wooden sword into the ground roughly.

“Fucking useless rabble”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

When his blurry sight catches yours, he’s even more infuriated. He really thought the other pillars were too gentle with you. You, with your thin and small frame, with your innocent eyes that almost make you look like a girl. And while you look like the biggest loser of this whole corps, you manage to fight better than all the others.

“Enough of this bullshit, we’re using real swords now”, Sanemi barked at you while already grabbing his sharp katana.

“Fine.”

You didn’t storm towards him, didn’t act out of confidence or rage. You stayed so calm that Sanemi didn’t know how to act for the split of a second.

The split of a second. This minor moment was enough for you to lift your blade and scratch his cheek ever so slightly.

“Did he…Just hit the wind hashira?”

“This can’t be true. A strange guy like him, hitting one of the most powerful demon slayers?”

“You…You have some fucking nerve, little brat! I’ll make you pay for this!”

Oh, how often he tormented you. Made you stand up in the middle of the night for a fight, forced you to stand up against all your comrades. He pushed you over your limit over and over, made you suffer in a way he never did before.

But you still stand your ground. Still, you grab your wooden sword and follow the others inside at dawn as if nothing happened.

And it simply drives him insane.

“You, little brat!”

“Yes, Shinazugawa-sama?”

Your guts turn in an instant. In contrast to the other hashira training, this feels like a trip to hell and back. It almost seems as if the wind hashira made it his mission to let you suffer more than anyone else. What have you done to deserve his anger? Did you act out of line, aloof? It has to be the fact that you injured his cheek during your fight…

“Never mind. Get out of my sight.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice. Instantly, you turn on your heels and make your way to dinner. Maybe you’ll finally have to chance to wash yourself tonight. With all those unexpected training sessions and the wind hashira torturing you until far past midnight, you didn’t even find the time to take a bath. Urgh, you can’t wait to finally take those bandages off and to wash your itchy scalp. All that sweating without the relief of a jump in the cool lake nearby is definitely hard to endure.

But tonight. Tonight you’ll finally get the chance to escape the merciless gaze of Sanemi Shinazugawa.

He doesn’t know what keeps him up tonight. Is it the full moon that lights his room, his still enraged heart? It’s still hard to believe that you’re acting up like this, that you manage to hit him. Out of all the jerks he trained, why does it have to be the smallest and therefore weakest one?

Maybe all he needs is letting his anger out on you. Sanemi storms into the dormitory wearing nothing but a casual yukata. He might hunt you around the lake for a few rounds or lets you practice your sword bows until you turn blue-

But his eyes don’t get greeted by your hair sticking out underneath you’re blanket.

“Where the hell are you, brat?”, he hisses to himself.

“This feels like heaven”, you moan to yourself while you dip your head into the cool water.

You never cared about getting covered in mud or dried blood sticking to your skin. But oh, the feeling of cleaning yourself up again after a rough day is just unmatched. Gently, your fingers brush through your wet hair, free yourself from all the dirt of those last days.

When will you be able to return? After that, only the stone hashira is left. How did you manage to land all the way over here? Hiding behind the identity of a boy no one know in order to get treated equally. Your efforts were definitely worth it. With those countless new techniques you’ve learned, you’ll finally be able to stand up against the demons that haunt down your village on a regular basis. Finally, you’ve got the education you deserved.

“You have to be fucking kidding me.”

All color drains from your face in an instant. You don’t have to look past his knees to know who stays right in front of you. Why didn’t you hear him coming? How did he manage to show up in front of you without you noticing?

“S-Shinazuwaga-sama”, you breathe out.

It doesn’t matter how he found you. With your hair open and your upper body barely covered by the water, he already saw through your well-hidden secret. Or better said, your lie.

“You’re so dead.”

You can’t escape. In the matter of seconds, he is with you in the water and grabs your wrists roughly.

“You lied into our faces this whole time?”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

“I had to-“

“You’re nothing but a little girl!”

“You left me-“

“What else do you have to hide? Are you even a demon slayer? I’m totally in the mood to kill you right on the spot-“

“YOU LEFT ME NO CHOICE”, you finally blurt out.

“No choice? Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

“Tengen-sama treated me like porcelain because I’m a woman, but I didn’t want that! I wanted to train like the boys do, I wanted to suffer like everyone else! How am I supposed to become a decent swordswoman when everyone goes easy on me because of my gender!?”

“You…You lied to us.”

“I did.”

“You aren’t a guy.”

“I’m not.”

Thick silence hangs between both of you, only interrupted by sharp and heavy breaths. What now? Will he send you away in dishonor or even worse, exclude you from the corps completely? You’ve worked so hard to even get accepted, poured your heart and soul into those past days. All of this, vanishing in thin air?

“Please don’t send me away”, you finally press out.

“Are you dumb? Ain’t no way I’m letting you stay-“

“I can’t return home in dishonor. I did all of this to be able to protect my family and village. If I return home like this…”

You can’t finish your sentence, your throat suddenly feeling so tight that you even fail to breathe.

“Get out of my sight.”

“But I-“

“I said get out of my sight!”, he screams on top of his lungs.

You flinch backwards and almost trip into the water. Talking doesn’t do much. If you’re not leaving the next few seconds, he might drown you.

With a heavy heart you leave the water, carefully hiding behind a tree until you’re fully dressed again.

“What’s your real name?”, he shouts towards you harshly.

“My name is (y/n)”, you mutter, not daring to look into his cold eyes.

And then you stumble back. Back into the dormitory you know so well by now. Back into what might be the last night at the demon slayer corps for you.

“Remember that skilled guy you told me about?”, Sanemi mumbles while staring at the ground.

“Yeah. What about him?”

“It’s not him. She’s a fucking girl that pretended to be a guy.”

It still feels like a feverish dream. Why did nobody realize sooner? Not even himself…God, he’s such an idiot for not throwing you out instantly. You lied straight into his face, you lied to the whole demon slayer corps all this time. You deserve to leave, you deserve all that hatred and disgust.

“That’s actually quite impressive. How did you find out?”, Obanai comments dryly.

“I caught her bathing. Said she didn’t want to get differently because she’s a girl.”

Just the thought of seeing you there lit by nothing but moonlight, your long hair draped like a veil around you and your female curves he didn’t even know existed…

“That are some unexpected news. Do the others know?”

“I won’t tell ‘em. I’ll kick her out the corps when I return.”

“Why kicking her out? No matter if boy or girl, you can’t deny she’s the most promising one until now. Why not keeping her?”

“Keeping her?”, Sanemi repeats in sheer disbelief.

“Ain’t no way I’ll ever speak to a filthy little liar like her again.”

“Her plan worked, though. And I hate to admit it, but she did pretty good.”

Sanemi’s furious eyes dart towards Obanai in nothing but frustration. You fooled every single hashira until now. You hold so much potential that eventually…Would you survive as his tsugoko?

“I’ll leave”, he finally speaks out before turning his back on Obanai and storming away.

What the hell is he supposed to do?

How utterly dumb you feel sitting on that porch with your wet hair still open in the cool breeze far past midnight. You have no idea where he went, if he’s out to inform the head of the corpse about your behavior or even worse, your own family. Is it too early to pack your few belongings, to leave before he comes back? You definitely can’t stand another round of getting yelled at by the wind hashira.

“What are you doing here outside, brat?”

Fuck. He steps out of the darkness like an unpromising shadow with his face as hard as stone.

“I can’t sleep anyway”, you murmur.

“I’m so fucking mad at you for shitting me like this. Pretending you’re a guy while you’re just a girl.”

“I’m not just a girl”, you clarify sharply.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re a lying little brat but-“

He takes a deep breath in while sitting down next to you.

“But you’ve got what it takes. I’ve been looking for a decent tsugoko for quite some time now and-“

You can’t believe your ears. This man can’t possibly be the wind hashira you know by now, the man who looked like he’ll drown you any minute just a few hours ago. He can’t suggest to take you in as his tsugoko, right? There’s absolutely no way this man wants to train you on a regular basis-

“And maybe you’re that decent fit.”

Oh.

“Me, as your tsugoko”, you repeat his words in order to make them sound real.

“I’ll still kick your ass for lying into my face like that, though”, he adds aggressively.

Never in your life would you ever dreamed of being the apprentice of a hashira. You always worked hard, always made sure to develop your skills with everything you do, but being considered a tsugoko? Of the wind hashira, who never takes in a student? Who seems so rough and cruel but allowed you to handle your katana even better?

“I’d love that”, you finally breathe out.

“I’m beyond thankful you’re e-“

“Shut up immediately. A yes is enough. You’ll stay here with me, then.”

“Y-yes, Shinazugawa-sama!”

“No go to sleep, I can’t beat your ass when you’re tired”, he mumbles before getting up and leaving while your feelings are still over the place.

You, the tsugoko of Sanemi Shinazugawa?

-a few months later-

“Gimme your best shot now, brat!”, he barks at you.

Sweat runs down your forehead like a waterfall, your heavy panting tasting like blood. Just one more hit, one more strike and you’ll get him.

“Thunder breathing, fourth form-“

“Too slow”, he comments next to your ear.

Within the split of a second, you find yourself just inches away from the dirty ground with Sanemi’s arms keeping you from falling.

“Still not fast enough. Do it again.”

Mindlessly, he still drops you into the dirt with his sword casually draped over his shoulder.

You lift yourself off the ground with trembling limbs. There you are again, deep within your trip to hell and back. What you expected when agreeing on being the tsugoko of Sanemi Shinazugawa?

You grab the handle of your sword even tighter and storm towards just like you did hundreds of times before with the smallest of smiles creeping up your features.

Well, exactly that.

-steaming hot bonus: meeting in the lake at night-

You allow the cool water to caress your countless wounds gently. How good it feels to finally bathe every single day instead of once every few days. When the truth came out and everyone started to realize that you aren’t a boy, you regained a part of your freedom along with the merciless training of the wind hashira. Each and every day, he tortured you and others with his cruel training methods before you slide into the lake before the sun sets and go straight back to sleep.

Not today, though. It has to be almost midnight by now, the stars in the sky glimmering so magnificent that you can’t look away. Sanemi allowed you to visit your family and friends today. As you have learned, demon attacks have subsided since the sister of Tanjiro Kamado mastered the sun. And even though that means your loved ones will be safe, you can’t deny the slight turn of your guts. This means a war is around the corner, that Muzan Kibutsuji himself might come for all of you.

But this is nothing you should think about now. Not when you just returned and desperately longed for a bath. You dip your head into the cold water, moan to yourself as the water surrounds you fully-

“What the hell are you doing here, brat?”

Sanemi.

Out of instinct you cry out while burying everything except for your head inside the dark water. You’re butt-naked. How long has he been here already? And…has he seen you? Suddenly your whole body feels hot against the cool water around, cheeks turning dark red.

“Calm down, idiot-“

“How long have you been here already!?”

“What? I’m always taking a bath around this time. You’re the one who shouldn’t be here”, he clarifies dryly.

There he stands. Droplets of water run down his bare chest and almost make him shimmer in the moonlight. His wet hair stick to his face so delicately that you can’t force yourself to look away. He looks…hot.

Hot?

“I-uh…I just returned from…home”, you stutter.

“Hope your family is fine”, he mumbles along with slicking his hair back.

Within these past months, you’ve caught a glimpse of Sanemi you’ve never witnessed before. This man isn’t as cruel as everybody makes him look, his words aren’t always meant as harsh as they sound. Sanemi has a very tender side. Especially when his eyes soften for the blink of a moment, you couldn’t help but feel lost.

“They are. Apparently, the incidents with demons involved lessened when I departed”, you press out.

God, you’re acting ridiculous and you know it. Sanemi is your teacher, your training partner. Even though you’re living under the same roof (he even gave you an own room), there aren’t any romantical feelings between both of you.

“Good to hear. I’ll let you rest a little tomorrow morning. You have to be dead tired.”

“I’m fine”, you lie in an instant.

Truth is, you’re so drained out that the water is the only thing that’s able to keep your knees for failing you at the moment. Not only from your journey, but all those countless harsh training sessions, dueling yourself over and over with Sanemi and the others. But you’d never admit it, would never say it out loud.

“You’re probably the baddest liar out there. Your cheeks are red as hell, (y/n)”, Sanemi comments dryly.

You don’t dare to move when he stretches out his hand. Enough to gently caress your cheek, enough to cause an explosion in your stomach.

Did Sanemi just touch you? Tenderly?

“I…N-no…I…”

You can’t find the words. In fact, you are too distracted to care about something like words. Slowly but surely, he draws closer with his perfectly formed chest exposed to your hungry eyes.

“(y/n), I…There’s actually something I wanted…Well…Fuck!”

Is that really Sanemi Shinazugawa, stumbling over his own words? And why is it him who’s blushing at the moment?

These past few months made it really easy for you to actually respect the wind hashira. Not only his frightful skills when handling the sword, but just him. Him, when he’s brushing the fur of the cat that visits his estate from time to time. Him, when he tucks you into your blanket when assuming you’re already asleep. Him, when checking on you in his own unique way.

How ridiculous to even think about him like that, to even allow your heart to jump up and down in joy. But you can’t help yourself. Despite the way you despised him when the two of you first met, you really started to love this man with all your heart.

“(y/n), you’re a pretty decent women”, he begins again while drawing closer.

“Well, I…Thank you?”

A decent woman? Is that what he thinks about you?

“I still can’t believe you lied to me about being a girl, though”, he barks at you.

Oh.

You hate the way your heart drops. Were you really dumb enough so think he might have something to say, that he might tell you he has feelings for you as well? How ridiculous, how absolutely dumb.

“I think I should get going. It’s been a long day”, you mumble.

It’s probably the best to get away from here as soon as possible. But just when you start moving towards the shore, his hand grabs your arm tightly and twirls you around.

Right against his bare chest.

“Don’t you dare leaving now, brat”, he hisses through gritted teeth.

“I…there’s something I wanna tell you…”

“Why are you acting like a child?”, you finally spit at him yourself.

Oh, you’re having enough of all those ups and downs. Especially today, when you’re totally drained out already. You really don’t have the nerve for him to pick on you again, not when his last statement lies like a heavy stone in your stomach-

“Acting like a child?”, he challenges you.

Just before his lips crash into yours.

Longingly, Sanemi wraps his strong arms around you, devours you against his body while all you’re able to do is holding onto his broad shoulders for dear life.

This…is really happening, right? This is really Sanemi, pressing his lips against yours over and over again while your naked skin brushes against his?

“You’re fucking driving me insane, brat”, he mumbles against your lips before grabbing you even tighter.

“Since the moment I realized you aren’t a boy.”

He grabs you by your waist firmly, your naked skin rubbing against his sixpack almost making you lose everything that’s left of your self-control.

“I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your hands wander around his biceps, feel the deep valleys of his muscular back. God, this feels so good – almost too good to be true. But even if this is nothing but a dream, you’ll enjoy every minor movement, every sweet moment until you open your eyes again.

But when you do, you don’t find yourself in the comforting darkness of your room. No, his eyes glimmer like molten iron when staring down at you in the moonlight, his hot breath brushing against your wet face so seductive that you threaten to lose your balance.

“Still saying I’m acting like a child, brat?”

3K notes · View notes

sweetteainthesummerx · 5 months ago

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it's nice to have a friend !

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

nhl masterlist !

pairings: jack hughes x shy!reader, jack hughes x bsf!reader, nico hischier x platonic!reader, luke hughes x platonic!reader

warnings: mutual pining, fluff

summary: you gain a best friend and a lover, all in one !

song: it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift

word count: 3.3 k

notes: I love me a reformed bad boy! this is based on this request: here. I hope you like it!

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

school bell rings, walk me home, sidewalk chalk covered in snow, lost my gloves, you give me one

"are you okay, miss?" a voice asks from behind you, and you jump.

it's a boy. he's real pretty, features the perfect balance between masculine built and delicate feminine.

you're so sure that you're fifty shades of red right now, but he smiles kindly at you.

"sorry, it's just you look really cold." he points at your hands, and the fact that your teeth are chattering.

you realize that you're still silent.

you hate that you're so painfully shy. it's especially hard after you moved from your hometown for work, where the little amount of friends had to bid you goodbye with worry.

sure, you talk to your coworkers, but it's not the same.

"I-i'm okay." you try to smile, but it comes out more like a grimace.

jack, you find out his name is, was raised by his mother to never leave a lady in distress (you almost laugh at that). he offers you his gloves, still warm from his own hands. you thank him quietly, and he grins wide, "you're welcome, sweetheart."

the sidewalk is still covered in snow, but he walks you back to your apartment building, where the two of you find out something else you have in common: you're practically neighbours.

he lives only 4 or 5 doors down from you.

he drops you off, brushing your fingers with his own bigger ones as he tells you to come find him if you need anything at all.

as he watches you enter the safety and warmth of your own apartment, he frowns.

why would he do that? normally he wouldn't care about this kind of stuff, but you looked so cold and down.

so when you offered him that sweet, shy smile, he melts despite the cold jersey weather.

it's weird, because you're very pretty, but he doesn't have the itch to fuck you and leave you.

he wants to know why you're here, what you do, you're favourite colour.

his phone dings with the notification of some instagram model he met up with a week ago. he sighs, turning back from his own door to go meet her.

for some reason, he doesn't want to go.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

"wanna hang out?", yeah, sounds like fun, video games, you pass me a note

you bite your lip, and retract your hand once more. you want to knock, but you...

just do it! you tell yourself, and you knock quickly, wincing.

a boy who is decidedly not jack answers the door.

"uh, hi?" he's tall, with curly hair and a lanky body.

you freeze up a little.

fortunately, jack pops up from behind.

he calls your name, with excitement and surprise. it makes something warm bloom in your chest.

"I brought you guys cookies?" it comes out more like a question, "I brought you guys cookies, because you walked me home last week."

normally, luke would be teasing his older brother - and the fact he was cheesing like an idiot still - but he smells the cookies first.

to your surprise, the younger boy grabs you by the wrist to drag you into the apartment, thanking you for the baked goods.

he offers you a hug, introducing himself.

you're a bit unnerved, but he's so cute, like a little puppy that you hug him back, patting his shoulder while stifling a smile. he reminds you a bit of your own little brother.

jack pouts. no way luke got a hug before him. so he sidles up to you, tucking you under his arm.

"wanna hang out with us? we're playing video games."

you don't know much, but you do know you like how he's looking at you, all soft brown eyes and crooked smile.

so you tuck yourself into the couch.

you find out a lot about both of them: they're brothers who play for the same nhl team - impressive - they can finish a whole batch of cookies in 20 minutes, and they have lots of friends.

people start popping up into the apartment, nico, johnny and so many more large, kind boys who hug you in greeting.

you almost don't mind, especially when jack texts you from across the room.

he's watching you from the kitchen where you're speaking in choppy german to nico. he's worried, because the first time he met you, you were so shy and shaking in your boots.

you all good? I can walk you home if the boys are tiring you out

you look up, a small grin on your face as you shake your head at him.

you look so at home on his couch with his friends, that something blind and unfamiliar stirs in his stomach. he ignores an incoming text from the instagram model he met up with, in favour to watch nico explain german grammar to you.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

light pink sky up on the roof, sun sinks down, no curfew, twenty questions, we tell the truth

jack thinks you're an angel. he'd come back to the apartment after a really hard game, battered and bruised. you show up to his door like you have been for a while, sometimes when it's just the two of you, sometimes when many of the boys are there.

this time, you're holding a bag in your hands. he sighs as he opens the door, falling into your arms.

"oh-! jack, you're too heavy!" you exclaim, trying to hold his weight. he pouts, leading you to the couch. he pushes you down gently, and you let him.

he snuggles up to you, head cradled by your chest.

he waits for you to coo and fuss over him, because you're just so kind and he finds this unprecedented comfort in you.

you feel like home, despite only knowing him for a few months.

"you okay?" you ask, and he pushes his head into your hands. you smile, getting the message.

you finally scratch his head, and he practically purrs. he settles into you, full weight like a thick blanket as you push through his hair with your nails.

"there you go," you murmur, quiet and loving. he thinks you'd be a good mom someday, and his heart twists when he thinks of you with someone else, making a home.

"can you scratch my back?" he knows he's being whiny, but you brush your thumb over his cheek and nod.

you're about to slip your hand under his shirt, but he sits up, tugging it over his head and returning to you like he always seems to do these days.

he slides his arms under your back, rubbing his head to your stomach.

you flush red, something unfamiliar spiking through your blood. he's all thick, soft muscles, unlike the vanity ones you see on some guys. raw, simple strength to take the hits and deliver them in his sport.

he's so handsome.

you scratch your nails down his back and he shivers.

"cold?" you hum, but he shakes his head.

after a while, he lets you get up because your legs are numb.

"you're too heavy," you grin again, and he complains that you're calling him fat.

he's ridiculous, with his abs under soft skin and big biceps. he still hasn't put his shirt back on.

"so, what's in the bag?" he asks, and you brighten up.

you dump it out on to the couch: it's face masks, eye masks and skin care.

"I like to relax with this, so I thought maybe you would like it?" you ask shyly, "we don't have to-"

"no!" jack exclaims, throwing everything into the bag and standing, "I want to. see what the hype is about."

he's seen the cute couple pictures online with the girl doing the guy's skincare; something about you suggesting it makes his feel ten feet tall.

so that's how he ends up with you on his bathroom counter, himself between your legs as you rub shaving cream onto his face.

"you better not slice me up," he pokes your tummy, and you giggle.

"don't worry, jackpot," you use his nickname, "cant' have the fans mourning your pretty face."

you carefully shave off his stubble, eyes concentrated.

you're so close, and you smell you, and you're so careful with him he wants to kiss you and give you his heart.

you hold his hair back as he washes his face. the act is so intimate, and the whole scene is so domestic that it makes him homesick for something he's never had.

"okay, so I'll put the eye masks on you first, then the clay one."

it's actually pretty relaxing, he has to admit. the eye masks are cool, and the clay mask is a little tight, but he likes to see you smooth it onto your own face, matching his.

he takes his phone, and you slide under his arm, linking yours around his waist.

the both of you smile wide for the mirror selfie, and he makes it his lock screen.

after both of you wash the masks from you - admittedly smoother - skin, he orders a pizza, and you make your way up to the roof.

the light pollution is too bad and he knows that the stars won't be visible, but the pink-inked sky is pretty as your smile.

the two of you talk about everything and nothing: some trick he managed to pull during practice, your co-workers pending divorce, something funny his mom said.

he wishes he could stay here forever, with you.

you, with your soft hair and smile, his too-big hoodie over your shoulders as you lean on him.

he likes seeing you all sleepy and vulnerable, answering his questions quietly.

"do you want a boyfriend?" he asks as the sun goes to bed.

"of course I do," you murmur, "but I just want the right person, at the right time."

he smiles at that. he wants to be that person for you.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

you've been stressed out lately? yeah, me too, something gave you the nerve, to touch my hand

"oh, shit." you swear softly, and sophie, your co-worker turned best friend - don't let jack hear that - apologizes.

"sorry! sorry! don't move, bro!" she rubs where the curling iron touched the back of your neck.

"that's gonna leave a mark. I'm sorry, sweetie." she fusses, and you tell her it's okay.

luke and jack are having a party for new years at their place, so you and sophie take that chance to dress up for once.

your makeup is done, so is your hair. you have to admit, sophie's done a real good job.

"yeah, dude. we look hot."

you're wearing a pretty red dress, with thin straps and material that clung to your body.

you were unsure, but Sophie hyped you up enough for you to put it on, and you felt really confident.

except you were a little scared at how short it was.

"hey, girl!" luke exclaimed when you entered their apartment. "you look great. hey, soph!"

he handed you both a drink, scurrying off to greet someone else.

the two of you link hands, trying and laughing while bulldozing through the crowd to get to the living room.

some guy catches soph's eye, and you encourage her to go off and talk to him.

nico finds you, being pushed around by the throng of people, and tucks you under his arm like your a football.

you giggle a little as he manages to navigate the way. jack's sitting on one of the arm chairs, and his eyes brighten when he sees you.

"special delivery!" nico pats your head like he would to his little sister, and you roll your eyes good-naturedly.

the only thing between you is many half-drunk hockey players and drinks on the ground. nico is about to pick you up like a cat, but jack hops his way over, swatting his hands.

"I got it, precious cargo, after all." he slips one hand under your thighs, and another arm wrapped round your waist so you're pressed against his vertically.

you cling to his neck as he makes his way back to his seat, turning you in his arms to fit you onto his lap.

"you look..." he breathes into your ear, "you look gorgeous, baby."

"thanks, jack."

the night continues like normal, until between the sheer amount of people in the apartment and jack's chest pressed against you is making you over heat. as you laugh at one of johnny's jokes you sweep your hair over your shoulder to let your neck breathe.

you feel jack tense beneath you, and he lifts you to stand.

"I-i need a drink," his eyes are panicked and shaky. he bolts, and you stand to go after him. nico and Luke call after you, concerned.

you find him on the roof, leaning over the banister, shoulders shaking.

"jack, honey?" you ask, slipping a hand between his shoulder blades, "do you feel sick?"

the cool air makes goosebumps rise on your skin, even more so when he turns to you, teeth grit.

"no, m'fine. go back to the party."

"not until you tell me-"

"why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?" he blurts out, refusing to look at you.

"huh?" you ask.

"why didn't you tell me? I thought we told each other everything."

"what are you-"

"you don't need to pretend. I know-" he shudders, like it's painful for him to say this, "I know you're..."

"jack-" you start, but he grabs your hands, new determination in his eyes as he draws you close.

"you should know that I'm in love with you. so you have options, baby." his lip is quivering, and his eyes are rimmed with red.

"I-"

"I could treat you better than he could. and I wouldn't hide it, either. we would be so good together..." he's rubbing the length of your arms now, trying to warm you up.

"we already work so well together. we're best friends and you make me laugh so much. you make me feel safe and tethered."

he continues, "and...jeez, baby, you're fucking gorgeous. I just want to press you against a wall and..." he's talking low and heavy in your ear, and you lean closer to him.

"please, just consider me. I wouldn't just leave a hickey on your neck behind your ear and not celebrate new years with you."

"what?" you asked, surprised, "no, that's not a hickey. sophie burnt my neck while curling my hair."

jack colours a brilliant shade of fire work red.

he just got all in his head, seeing you dolled up and loose, that when he saw the mouth sized mark on the smooth nape of your neck, his only thought was: that should've been me.

"fuck."

you've got a teasing smile on your face now, "you loooove me!"

"I am a dumbass."

"a dumbass who loves me." you grin, cupping his neck, smoothing circles over the skin there.

"my offer still stands," he tells you, winding his arms around your waist.

"yes. I love you too, you idiot." the people throughout the apartment building are starting to chant.

3, 2, 1, happy new years!

"happy new years, baby." he says, and he presses his lips softly, and sweetly to yours.

he's so delicate, trying to make sure everything is perfect.

and it is, because he's with you, with the promise of more forever.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

church bells ring, carry me home, rice on the ground looks like snow

"yeah, mom. I know, I've been eating good. my girl's taking care of me."

you hear jack's voice from where you're measuring rice in the pantry. he definitely thinks that the pantry doors are thicker than they are.

you smile, because he takes such good care of you too: he washes your hair in the shower, he carries and stocks your groceries, he always makes sure you're fed and warm when you're too stressed.

and he takes care of you in other ways that makes you warm and all liquidy.

"I'm gonna make her my wife, mom. she's...she's the one. yes, I'll bring her to the lake house for the summer, but I'll have to ask first. okay. bye. love you too."

by that time you've made it out of the room, closer to him. when he says wife, you drop the whole bowl of rice you were holding.

"did you hear that?" jack's ears are pink, but he's got a cheesy smile on his face.

"yeah. you have a really loud voice, honey."

"call me that again." he asks, as you come to stand between his legs as he sits on the barstool of the kitchen counter.

"loud voice," you tease.

he laughs, and when the two of you quiet down, he rests his head on your shoulder.

"I mean it, y'know."

"we've been only dating for like a month," you protest weakly.

"and I can't wait to see you walk down the aisle to me."

"will you cry?"

"no," he lies, even though he's getting a little teary just thinking about it.

"hmm." you kiss him anyways, and Luke finds you there 10 minutes later, still wrapped up together with rice all over the floor.

"you guys are weirdos." he rolls his eyes, making a face as jack kisses your lips again.

"watch it, mister. you're talking to your future sister in law." you joke, and luke jumps, reaching for your hand.

"dude, were you fucking with me?" he whines, "I got all excited too."

jack hollers something insulting his intelligence as you laugh, watching the two boys.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

feels like home, stay in bed, the whole weekend, it's nice to have a friend

jack kisses your forehead as he hands you a plate of food. you bite his cheek as he shrieks.

you laugh, sitting up so he can see his shirt that's practically falling off of your frame.

you and jack had a slow morning, the sun streaming over your naked bodies as you simply enjoyed each other's presence. around noon, he finally got up to shower.

you refused to join him because "no, the two of us showering together would not save water, it would probably waste more."

so he showered, sad and alone, and made breakfast after you went to clean yourself off.

now, watching you eat toast and watch his past game highlights from last weekend, he knows.

he knows it's going to be you, no matter what.

he knows it's you he wants to grow old with, and have three kids - two boys, one girl, he has the names all planned out - and that picket fence shit.

he knows it's you who'll take care of him with your soft hands and heart at the end of the day, and you'll be the one he'll protect and provide for too.

he knows that he loves you like the back of his hand.

and he knows you're his best friend, the love of his life.

so he knows that he wants to make you his wife.

he leans over to his bedside drawer and pulls out a box.

he got it the weekend after the two of you got together, and he's shaking as you turn to him with wide eyes.

"I love you. you're...you're it for me, baby. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I promise to keep you safe and warm and always finish your plate when you're full," he knows you too well, because your left overs are already on his plate, "and I just want all of you. will you marry me?"

"yes," you breathe, tackling him into the bed with a delighted whoop.

there's no other words to describe it, it's so nice to have you.

it's so nice to have you forever, now.

★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★

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peachesofteal · 1 month ago

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through me 🥹🥹🥹 its such a palette cleanser. always so sweet and endearing, the power of ur anthologies... i hope theyre as fun to write as they are to read!!!

if ur taking requests 👀 can we see the two of them going through name lists? would they keep to the stars theme? what would their backups be, would they find one really good GN name or different options if its a boy or a girl? middle names? nickname they call the baby before they decide on the real name? orions such a good name thats a high bar to match lmao

Through Me (The Flood) - Simon Riley/female reader

"I think we should keep the constellation theme." You bury your face in his chest as he cups the back of your head. When your fingers fist in his shirt and you gulp, he moves down your spine, kneading and stroking, trying to soothe the nausea.

"Do you need to get up?"

"No, I"m-" You shudder, and then jerk upright, hand over your mouth.

Two seconds later, you're running for the bathroom.

It's been like this for two weeks. You're sick in the afternoons, at night. You manage to keep down soup, and crackers, and he keeps water bottles full of electrolytes throughout the house.

He's helpless. Useless to you. Only able to stand by and give you comfort as you toss the contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl.

He didn't handle your last doctor's appointment particularly well. You were fairly calm and collected, while he was a mess, demanding treatments and options for something that they wouldn't be able to cure. Morning sickness is normal, even if it comes during the day or at night, the doctor told him. There's no need to worry unless it gets considerably worse.

You cough, and he finds the handle to flush. "I'm sorry sweetheart." He puts the cool washcloth on your neck, urging you to lean back against him. Your lashes are wet, whites of your eyes turned red, and guilt burrows in the back of his mind. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," you're peering up at him, and he uses the cloth to wipe your lips, the corner of your mouth as you sag against his chest. "It was the same with Ry."

"When will it stop?"

"Soon. Last time it was around twenty weeks, so shouldn't be too much longer." You press closer and he holds you tight, circling his thumb in your belly, stroking up and down as you take deep, long breaths.

"C'mon. Let's get back in bed."

"What about Pyxis?"

"Tell me about it." This never gets old. He could lay here and hold you for the rest of his life, listening to you tell him all about the stars, the constellations, where they are, how far away, why they're named.

"It's named after a compass, like the ones ship captains use. We could call them Pixie with a y for short." You frown. "I guess Pyxie isn't really gender neutral. Pyx, maybe?" He hums.

"I'm not sure either of those fall in the neutral category." You're both committed to the surprise. Maybe life's biggest, if he's honest, waiting to find out if the baby is a boy or girl, and because of it, the two of you decided to focus on gender neutral names. It's made the list shorter, but he's relishing every moment. He didn't get this last time, didn't get to hold you as you rattled off a million ideas. Didn't get to hear you excited you were when you finally decided on Orion.

He's soaking it up now.

"Aries?" He shakes his head.

"Too masculine."

"Corvus? Corvus for a boy, and then Core as a nickname for a girl?"

"He'd be cool, she'd get teased without mercy." You wince.

"I like Lyra, the harp, but it's too feminine. What about Vela?"

"What is it?"

"It's a constellation that's like part of big constellation, I think technically. It's latin, for sails of a ship."

"The A on the end always fucks with me," he murmurs, lips on your forehead, "it doesn't sound neutral."

"I still don't hate Pyxis." you chirp, wrapping around him. His hands slide to your belly and stay there.

"Let's think about it." He tugs your knee up to his thigh, turning you on your side to help you get comfortable, and you sigh.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

In the dark, not even an hour later, your voice rasps in a whisper against his ear. "What about Phoenix." It's not a question, and he pauses. "It's named after the myth. We could call them Nix for short. It works whichever way you want." Phoenix.

It's more than a constellation. It's rebirth. New beginnings. Transformation. Everything you've given him, everything the two of you have built together.

"It's perfect."

#peaches writes #through me (the flood)#simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader

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emithecharmer · 1 year ago

Text

Husband!SKZ Reacting to you telling them you're pregnant

Severe baby fever while watching them with babies- so here's for all of the stays that want to be moms one day :)

Tw: Sex talk (duh, she's pregnant), Changbin wants to have sex with his wife (but they don't), fluff, some hurt/comfort

Christopher Bang

Chris and you had always talked about having a family, he made it perfectly clear when you two started dating that he wanted to be a father. You had always wanted to be a mom, learning empathy and compassion from your own mother, you'd always had a very strong motherly instinct, which is how you just knew. You had always heard of women who just knew they were pregnant but you'd always just thought that it was a myth, until you felt it. You were walking down the feminine hygiene isle, about to pick up a box of tampons when your mind immediately just said 'you don't need them.' It was like a switch had flipped and your brain chemistry was altered. So instead you walked a bit more and grabbed a pregnancy test.

Now, you and Chris had also talked about how if you suspected a pregnancy, that you would tell him, and he would stay with you and watch the test together. But that was easier said than done, as you as you got home..you choked up.

"Hey baby," He leaned forward and kissed your lips sweetly, "how was the store? Thank you for going by the way, I'm sorry I got held back at the studio later than expected." He explained, going and unloading some of the groceries.

"It's okay, it was um..interesting."

"What do you-" He stopped his sentence and that was when you noticed what bag he was going through. He turned toward you, eyes wide and in disbelief.

"Are you-? When did you.. When did we-?"

"I don't know, but I- Today in the store, I had the strongest feeling about it! And I remember you told me your mom just knew and I just- I feel like I am Chris." He practically tore open the box with excitement.

"Can you take it, please baby, take it!" You nodded and you two walked to the bathroom together.

"How long does it take to pee on a stick?" You heard Chris whine from outside.

"I have performance anxiety!" You whined back, getting frustrated.

Finally you finished the test and washed your hands before letting your, impatient, husband in.

"Hey.." He sounded serious now, making you look at him. He grabbed your hands before deciding to bring you in for a tight hug instead.

"No matter what the test says, we have to agree to take time for the two of us, I don't want us growing apart at all, okay? If we have a baby..it's going to make us stronger okay? And if we don't just yet, we'll try whenever we're ready okay?" You smiled, pulling away and nodding, brushing a small hair that had fallen into his face and glancing at the test.

"Chris.." He looked at the test and you felt you heart clench at the way his eyes sparkled when he turned back to you.

"Thank you.." He whispered, bringing you in for a passionate kiss.

Lee Minho || Lee Know

"Min, what do you think of having kids soon?" You asked, making your husband turn around and raise a brow.

"Why would we have a baby when we already have three?" He asked, smiling when Soonie walked by and brushed against his leg.

"Ah, yeah." You said half-heartedly.

"..I'm also super busy, you know with our new come back and everything that we have planned- I wouldn't get to be there." He explained, trying to give you a better reason.

"Mm, no that makes sense." He smiled at your answer and turned back to cooking, missing the way you brought your hand to your stomach and the way that tears gathered in your eyes.

Three months flew by without suspicion, you never drank or smoked to begin with, so Minho thought nothing of it, that was, until you started to experience the horrible morning sickness.

You first woke up at 3 am, rushing to the bathroom and heaving into the toilet, you were trying to be quiet before remembering that your husband has chosen to stay at the dorms that night. After you were finished you shakily stood up and brushed your teeth. When you stood up from bending over, you noticed it, Minho's t-shirt tried its best, but there was no doubt, you had a bump. You had a baby bump and when you saw it you collapsed on the floor at the realization that you were hiding your child from your husband. You sobbed on the floor, not hearing the door open and Minho call out your name. You only noticed when he entered the bathroom with his jaw slack and a look of confusion on his face.

"W-What happened? What's wrong baby?" He asked, immediately going to bring you into his arms, lifting you up and taking you to your shared bed. You didn't know if it was from pure exhaustion of the hormones, or if you were just tired of keeping it a secret, but you just blurted it out to him.

"I'm- I'm pregnant Minho. I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!" His heart broke as you wailed your apologies, he hadn't realized that he'd come across not wanting children.

"Y/n- you- Oh God, please don't be sorry, precious." He whispered, pulling you in for a hug and rubbing your back.

"I hid it from you though.." You whimpered as he shook his head.

"No, no, that was my fault, you should have never felt that you couldn't tell me anything, especially this..You're- We're going to have a baby." His smile was even wider than it was on your wedding day as he brought you in for a kiss and then peppered kisses all of your face before he tilted your head up so he could kiss behind your ear.

"Thank you, so much, honey" He whispered as he squeezed your hands.

Seo Changbin

"Changbin!" You screamed, running to your husband whom you hadn't seen for almost 3 months.

"Y/n." He said, closing his eyes as you two hugged, he wanted to breathe you in for this moment. They were on tour and you'd decided to come and join them.

"I missed you." You said, smiling as he pulled away and grabbed you two suitcases, showing you where the elevator was.

"I missed you too, baby. I can't wait to show you the hotel room, it's insane!" You chuckled at his excitement.

"And we can go see the boys in a little bit too, if you're not too tired." He offered as the door opened and you two stepped out.

"Mm, I'm not tired, I actually slept for most of the flight, so I think I'll be okay." He smirked as he entered the key into the door and opened it.

"Not tired?" He asked, making you shake your head as you looked around the room.

"It is pretty here, I like the-" You we're cut off by your husband, who brought you in for a long-overdue kiss. You felt his arm wrap around you back, caressing your spine before reaching for your shirt.

"Mm, I should warn you, the doctor said that intercourse while pregnant is okay, as long as it's vanilla." You informed him.

"Huh?" You giggled at his reaction, staying quiet as he wracked his brain for a few seconds before his eyes widened.

"But that would mean-"

"Right before you left, yeah." He frowned.

"I left you.." He said.

"Neither of us knew, and I only found out when I saw..this." You lifted your shirt to show him your stomach, which now sported a small bump.

Your husband dropped to his knees and cradled your bump so soft that it almost tickled before he looked back up at you, tears in his eyes. He stood back up, bringing you in for a deep kiss, never once letting his hand fall from your stomach.

Hwang Hyunjin

"Jinnie." You smiled at your husband as he sketched the landscape in front of you. He hummed, looking down at you as you laid on the blanket you two had laid out.

"You'll never guess who's pregnant." You said.

"..You?" He asked warily, making you sputter a laugh.

"No, my sister in law." You said, giggling at Hyunjin's sigh of relief.

"What, you don't want to have a baby with me?" You pouted in a joking manner.

"What- No! No, I do! I do, I want to have like 10 babies with you-"

"Woah bro, slow your roll." He cackled at the hand you held out to him as a sign to stop and the look of utter horror on your face.

"Just not right now, I'd want to be there, not caught up in schedules." You nodded and hummed.

'Pregnant' You had to have read it wrong.

'Pregnant'

'Pregnant' Okay one faulty test, but four? You sighed and held your head in your palms as you tried to figure out how to tell your husband.

"No time like the present." You told yourself, grabbing the four tests and unlocking the door and walking into your guest room, which was more of an art room now.

"Hey, love, you okay? You were in there for a while." Hyunjin asked as he put down his brush and turning to you.

"What are those?" he asked, pointing to your hand.

"They're-.." You took a shaky breath before continuing, "They're pregnancy tests..and they're positive." You tried to decipher the look on his face as he stood up and came to you, holding out his hand, which you put a test into. He looked at the screen, 'pregnant,' for a few seconds before he looked back to you, that's when you noticed he was about to cry.

"Aw, Jinnie." You cooed, opening your arms to comfort him.

"You're pregnant.." He said.

"Mhm."

"You- You're going to have a baby. And we'll be parents." You nodded again, chuckling at your husband.

"You're going to be the best mom." He said, eyes watering a bit.

"And you're going to be an amazing dad, Jinnie."

"Power couple." He winked, a tear falling as he did, making you two giggle.

Han Jisung

You'd gone shopping right away after you read the positive result on the small screen. Jisung had always told you that he wanted kids, and being his wife, you knew he'd make a great dad. After finding out that you were expecting, you knew you had to make telling him special. You went to the store and bought a, blank white, newborn onesie and some fabric paint, painting in small words 'STAY' on the front and 'HAN' on the back. You put the onesie and the test at the bottom of a small box before filling it with other mementos you'd collected since the two of you had started dating.

"Jagi! I'm home, and I got us some sushi!" You heard your husband announce his arrival and quickly shut the box, making sure it was ready.

"In the kitchen!" You said, smiling when your husband's face popped out from behind the wall.

"You somehow get prettier every time I see you." He said, setting down the food and kissing the tip of your nose and nuzzling into your neck, hugging you close.

"Mm, missed you." He cooed at you, pulling away to kiss you properly, cupping your cheek softly.

"I have something for you." You said giggling as you pulled away, snickering at the slight pout he momentarily had.

"Ooh!" He accepted the box from your hands, setting it down to open it.

"Woww, this is from our first date! And is this in Japan?" You nodded as he increasingly got more excited.

"That's me at your first Stray Kids concert,- wow am I hot or what?" You giggled as he kept digging. You held your breath as he picked up a set of keys that you two had kept after locking your locks on the bridge, and then picked up your wedding photo.

"You look stunning in this photo. What was this all for, baby?" He asked, kissing you again.

"There's more, babe." You smiled, pointing down at the box.

"Oh, oops!" He looked back into the box, freezing when he saw what was inside. He picked up the onesie, setting it on the counter, before picking up the test. He turned back to you, taking one look at your face, making sure it wasn't a joke, before hugging you.

"I love you," kiss, "I love you," kiss, "and I love you." He said, poking your belly softly.

"I love you." Jisung said, kissing your forehead.

"I love you more, Ji."

Lee Felix

"Practice is kicking my butt." Felix groaned, flopping onto your bed and sighing as he felt the plushness under him.

"New comeback?" You asked softly and he nodded.

"Yeah, just- need something good you know? Not that you aren't good, baby." You smiled, setting your book down and leaning down to brush his hair with your fingers. He sighed at the feeling, he'd missed your presence for a few weeks, being so held up in schedules, he'd decided he'd go back to his old dorm for the time being, just so he wouldn't disrupt your sleep schedule, you being a nurse and all.

"Can you kiss me?" He asked.

"Course, bub." You said, choosing to move up, letting him scoot up as well and sit between your legs. He leaned forward, kissing your lips and the down your neck, and then back to your lips. A few minutes later he noticed that you weren't as into it as you usually were, so he stopped.

"You okay, pretty girl?" He asked, rubbing your hip.

"I'm a little tired.." He pouted, kissing your cheek before leaning over and turning off the lamp. The moonlight outside still illuminated the room, coming through the curtains and giving the room a soft glow.

"You should've said something, baby, we can sleep."

"It's okay, really, I think it's just the pregnancy hormones, my sex drive will fluctuate a lot through pregnancy."

"Ahh, yeah that makes sense." He said, laying down with you and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to him.

"Wait what." He said a few minutes later, making you burst into laughter.

"It took you that long?" You asked, watching him reach over and turn the lamp back on.

"You're pregnant? Like with a baby? Our baby, like one that we made?" You blinked at him.

"..I'm going to say yes?" He started to cry as he pulled you up to hug you, muttering thank you's and I love you's as he rubbed your back softly.

Kim Seungmin

Right when he gets home, you were going to tell him, right when he walks in, there was no stopping you.

"I just want today to be over, can no one do anything right?" Nevermind. You said to yourself as you heard the door slam and your husband walked in, slinging his coat onto the back of a chair before he took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry..I shouldn't bring work in with me, I'm sorry baby." He apologized, walking up to hug you in greeting.

"Hi Minnie." You said, nuzzling into his chest.

"You should just come in with me, just hearing your voice makes everything better." He said as he ran his fingers through your hair, kissing the top of your head every few seconds.

"Happy to be of service." You giggled, looking up at your husband, all of whose tension was released upon seeing you.

"I have to use the bathroom." He said, pulling away, making you chuckle.

"Okay, I'll start on dinner."

"Thank you, baby, I'll help you when I'm out." He promised.

"..Babe?" You turned around to see your husband holding something.

"Is this- Are you pregnant?" He asked, looking up at you, seeing your reaction, he knew you were.

"Ah- I was supposed to tell you when you came home- I kinda chickened out.." You looking down at the floor.

"Oh my gosh..Baby- Babe- Y/n- We're going to be parents." He smiled, walking over to you.

"Yeah, we are." He lifted you onto the counter, making sure you didn't hit anything before he kissed your softly, lifting his hands to your stomach and rubbing it softly.

Yang Jeongin (I.N)

"Innieeee!" You called as you knocked on Chan's studio door. Jeongin was with Chan and Jisung today going over some lyrics, but he'd texted you to come over for lunch so he could see you.

"Come in, it's only me." He said but opening the door anyway.

"Ooh, what'd you bring?" He asked.

"Cookies, but we have to eat lunch first, I brought subway." He gasped, holding out his hands as you handed him the bag.

"Thank you, love." He said coyly, kissing your cheek quickly.

"I got you two since you started working out again." You said, making him flush.

"Ah, you didn't have to." He said.

"But you wouldn't have been full if I hadn't, hm?" He nodded shyly. Despite you two being together for around two years, you still had your shy moments.

"Mkay, cookie time, gimme gimme." He said, throwing his trash into the empty bag. Chan and Jisung were back and their eyes lit up.

"Cookies?" Jisung asked with wide eyes.

"Jisung." Chan shoved his arm, making Jisung sit up straight.

"Sorry." You laughed.

"You can have some too, I got a batch."

Jeongin opened the box and shut it immediately, not even letting the boys see the cookies. As fate would have it, the rest of the boys arrived at the door, wanting to say bye before heading home, but now they were confused in the scene.

"You're a liar. You're literally lying." Jeongin accused, tears in his eyes.

"Innie, what happened?" Chan asked, trying to figure out what was happening.

"Uh-uh, I went to the doctor today to confirm." You said. Jeongin sniffled loudly as he stood up and walked to you, quite literally falling to his knees to hug you.

"So..Is everything good?" Hyunjin asked as he stood awkwardly outside the door. Jisung, the impatient man he was, had opened the cookie box and gasped, pointing at you.

"She's pregnant!" Chaos followed after the revelation that their youngest member was on the road to fatherhood.

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endlessthxxghts · 1 year ago

Text

Take It Easy

no outbreak!neighbor!joel miller x afab!reader || W/C: ≈10.2k

Summary: Your family throws an impromptu barbecue. You’re usually the one they throw every task on, but with today being your most painful period day, you say fuck it and leave them to fend for themselves. Only one other guest is invited today, and that’s Joel Miller.

Warnings: Age gap (23/43). Established relationship (to everyone but reader’s family). No physical description of reader besides outfit choices. Use of feminine pet names. LATINO JOEL MILLER (he’s canon in all my fics, sorry not sorry). Fluff with slight angst - getting caught, kinda (?) - happy ending, don’t worry. This version of Joel is always soft for reader, but I feel like he’s extra soft here. These idiots are so fucking in love (highkey jealous). SMUT 18+ MDNI: If you know the traffic light system for safe words, reader uses yellow at one point - but fluff & comfort happens immediately after. Dom/sub and Brat tamer/brat dynamics (subspace!). Daddy kink. Degradation kink (very brief). Making out/body appreciation. Masturbation (F). Oral sex (M receiving). Spit kink (I'm so weak). Exhibitionist kink - reader is being bold 🫣. Face fucking. Vaginal fingering. Lots of kissing (these two definitely have some sort of oral/kiss fixation istg). Soft unprotected p in v. Reader gets a surge of dominance, soooo ya get a glimpse of sub!Joel😏…...I think that's it. Let me know if there’s anything I missed. 🫶🏼

Author's Note: This can be read as a stand-alone, but I accidentally connected this a bit more than I intended to the What You Need fic. That fic talks a lot about reader's background/family dynamic and why/how Joel is the way that he is with reader. There's also some little details in here that might fly over your head if you haven't read What You Need. However, I genuinely don't think any confusion or such will occur if you only read this one shot. I hope you'll be able to enjoy all the same. Much love 💚

MASTERLIST || ONESHOT COLLECTION

“Can you prep the veggies?”

“Can you prep the grill?”

“Can you make the rice?”

“Why don’t I make the entire fucking dinner at this point?” You snap in the direction of the kitchen from your place on the couch, wrapped in blankets, snuggled with a heat pack over your lower belly.

“Well, if you’re offering,” your brother smirks.

You started your period yesterday, and the second day is always the absolute worst. Your flow is heavy, your cramps are excruciating, and your mood is all over the place. Today was not the day for an impromptu barbecue, regardless if there were guests or not.

You promptly give your brother the middle finger then pull yourself off the couch to make your way to the bathroom. You’ve filled up an entire pad, yet again, in less than 20 minutes.

You always do everything for your family, but today, you absolutely don’t give a fuck. Today is self care day for you — popping three painkillers then heading straight to the dark of your room.

You’re not entirely sure how long you fell asleep for, but the smell of charcoal smoke and sizzling steak is what wakes you up first. The next sensation that fills you is the sound of heavy boots walking from, what you assume to be, the back door to the kitchen. Joel. You’d know that walk anywhere. He’s taking on the tasks for your family that usually fall on your shoulders.

He called you this morning before everyone (including you) woke up, saying he’s excited to see you tonight. You grumbled sleepily, about to tell him you were just as excited when a searing pain ruptured in your stomach, causing you to gasp out in pain.

“Baby?” Joel called out, “What’s wrong, honey?”

“Fuck, sorry, baby, it’s nothing,” you shyly say. He says your name. You start to explain, “I started my period yesterday, and-” but Joel cuts you off. “The second day is always the worst,” he states factually.

You smile to yourself, “Yeah, exactly.”

He tells you to get up and get a glass of water and some medicine to ease the pain, which you do, then he tells you to let yourself sleep in today, which you don’t.

“Fine,” he relents at your stubbornness, “but at least take it easy today, darlin’, ya hear me?”

“Loud and clear, Miller, loud and clear,” you tell him.

You can feel his dumb fucking lopsided smirk through the phone, “Fuckin’ brat,” he snarls.

“Mhm, but you’re fuckin’ brat,” you correct him.

“Yes. Mine.”

“Mmmm,” you let out a soft moan at that. Mine. You love the way it sounds, the way he claims you. “I love you.”

His cock twitches at the sound you make, but he wills it stay down. He takes a breath before he responds, “I love you, baby.” He can’t get ahead of himself today. He needs you to take it easy. So he tells you exactly that, again, for the last time before he ends the call and lets you take on your tasks for the day.

Even though the mouth-watering scent of all the delicious food has completely pulled you awake, you stay in bed a little longer, basking in the sensation of absolute no cramping in the position you’re in. And as if on cue, Joel quietly knocks on your door, waiting for you to invite him in.

“Come in,” your voice cracks, still groggy from the hours of no speaking.

He enters softly, clad in that denim button up you love so much paired with some dark washed jeans. “Hi, darlin’,” he makes his way to place a soft kiss to your forehead, your nose, then a longer one to your lips. “How you feelin’?”

“Better now,” you coo, completely enamored by how soft your big, burly man can be. “Food smells good. You helped them?”

He’s sitting at the side of your bed now, facing you, so he can rest his arm across you. “Only your old man. Carried in the food as he finished puttin’ em in the trays,” he says as he draws little circles on your arms.

You hum in response, too content at his presence. Still unable to use your voice, you tug on his arm, silently asking for him to hold you for just a moment before you eventually need to get up.

“They all left, by the way,” Joel soothes.

You finally have the strength to lift your head up, a quizzical look on your face.

“Your brother needed an herb, your dad s’more charcoal, obviously your mother drove ‘em. I don’t know where your other siblings are, though,” he explains.

“Oh.” You look up at him. “So what you’re saying is,” tugging harder on his arm to pull him into your bed, “you can freely cuddle me until then.”

He chuckles at that, giving into your pull, and wrapping his hand around your jaw to pull you into yet another sweet kiss. He’s laying down next to you now, and you take the opportunity to completely entangle your limbs into his, your head tucked into his neck.

Your family is gone for another forty-five minutes from that point on, and you two spend each minute just completely wrapped into each other, sharing sweet, wet kisses everywhere both of you can reach. His thigh supplying light pressure between yours at your core, spurring you both on just enough but not to the point where you lose all self control.

There’s something about the way you two can touch each other like this. With past partners, they always wanted things to escalate. To undress you and devour you at any sign of affection. But with Joel, it’s natural. Of course, his body will react in ways that show he physically wants more, but truly, he just wants to adore you and appreciate you and love you. And in the moments where those three words aren’t enough, he shows it in the other pure way he knows how to.

You’re too distracted being consumed by Joel’s touch, but as sharp as an eagle, he immediately perks at the sound of your family’s arrival. He slowly pulls away, trying to savor the kiss as much as possible. Finally it breaks, and you immediately pull your bottom lip into your mouth, trying to savor the way he feels and the way he tastes. He gives you a look of pure love and devotion—a look you know is only reserved for you, a look you’ll never get tired of. “Time to get up, darlin’.”

“Ugh,” you whine out, “Okay, I’ll meet you out there. I’m just gonna change, baby.”

He pulls you up out of bed and straight into another chaste kiss, “Want me to make you tea?”

“That sounds lovely, baby,” you blush at his attentiveness. You’ve been spoiled rotten by him for the past year, but you still get so flustered every time. “But I think we’re out of what I normally drink-”

He stops you with yet another kiss. “I bought a box of that peppermint blend before I came.”

You can’t stop the way you absolutely fold for this man, evident in the shaky breath you take and the way you completely stumble on your words, “Y-yeah, o-okay, yes, please.”

He smiles and nods, walking directly to your kitchen without another second to waste.

God, he deserves some fucking head right now, you think to yourself as you quietly giggle.

You make your way to your bathroom, taking a quick body shower because those several hours of sleep, plus the way Joel was on you for 45 minutes, had you looking like a murder scene down there. You dry yourself off, lotion up, and change into some loose black sweats and a fitted, light blue baby tee.

You look a lot brighter after your rest; Joel was right in telling you to sleep in, you needed it. Not that you’d ever tell him. He doesn’t need anymore ego boosts. Ya see, what’d I say, darlin’? you can hear his Texan twang scolding you already.

He looks up from the kettle pot boiling before him to see you perched on the bar stool on the other side of the kitchen island, bright eyed and awake, watching him make your tea. “Thank you again, baby,” you softly say.

He comes around behind you, setting your mug in front of you accompanied with three soft kisses peppered to the area where your shoulder and neck meet. “Of course, my sweet girl. You ready to eat? Everythin’ is set up out back, and everyone is out there, too,” he sighs, “already eatin’.” He says, annoyed at the fact that no one thought to call and check in on you, let you know that the ritual of eating together already started. You’re used to it by now, but seeing his reaction reminds you that it’s not normal for your own family to treat you this way. You smile a little sadly, trying to think of how you want to go about this. Usually you just wouldn’t eat, but with Joel around, you know that’s not going to fly.

“How ‘bout,” he says as he wraps his arms around your waist, his head still resting on your shoulder, “I go out there, make a plate big enough for us both, and I come back in and we share?” He could easily get you your own plate, but he knows your family. They’ll jump at any opportunity to shit talk you when they don’t understand the entire situation. Getting you your own plate and serving you when he’s a guest in your own home could inspire that, and he really doesn’t want you to experience that right now.

You lean into him, turning your head a little to place a kiss to his cheek. “Okay, baby,” you smile, “yes, let’s share.”

He comes back inside to you snuggled on the couch again with a pullout table propped right in front. He snuggles up right beside you, placing your legs right on top of his, keeping you secure with a hand on your thigh.

The plate is filled with a mountain worth of food. You already know three-quarters of that is going down his bottomless pit of a stomach, laughing to yourself at the thought. One thing that wasn’t on the original menu for tonight was on his plate. It also just so happened to be one of your comfort foods whenever you weren’t feeling good. “W-who made the mashed potatoes?”

Joel looks up at you sheepishly. He thought he’d be able to pull it off. He didn’t just go to the store, before he came, for your mint tea. He also went to get the ingredients for the mashed potatoes recipe you love so much. Within the almost two years he’s spent getting to know you, he’s recognized that every single time you’re feeling under the weather or falling into some type of depressive slump, you’re either eating or craving it. “I, uh- When I went to go get your tea… I figured I’d get ya your stuff for this, too. Made it before I came to wake ya up.”

“Joel…” your voice cracks and your eyes tear up.

How is it that after 23 years of life, you’re finally experiencing what it means when someone loves you? And you’re not talking romantic, you’re talking pure, genuine love. Love that you should’ve received from your parents, your siblings. They have never once shown you the consideration of making you your favorite meal, or fixing you a cup of something warm when you’re not feeling well. They have never shown you what it means to appreciate someone, in any of the love languages. The only person that has shown you remotely anything is your mother, but even that is limited because she cowers behind the directives of your father. You see her try, and you feel selfish not to appreciate it. But is it selfish to just want to be wholly loved by the people who created and raised you?

You pull the fork out of his hands and set it back on the plate. And in an instant, you completely throw yourself on him, your arms wrapped around his neck tightly, legs tightly hugged between his own. He loses his balance and lays straight back onto the couch, letting out a grunt at the landing, with you on top of him. You push into him for a kiss, your noses smooshing together as you lick inside his mouth with a sense of urgency to show him how much you love him. Once the initial shock of you pouncing on him wears off, he immediately wraps himself around you, tightening his hold to pull you in impossibly more. His tongue dances with yours, one arm wrapped around your middle and another secure around the bottom of your ass.

You adjust to straddle his hips, sitting up and pulling him up with you by the collar of his denim. You break away from him just for a minute, heavy breathing and eyes dark, and you let your hand glide down his chest, swiftly undoing a few buttons of his shirt, making sure to leave a trail of sloppy, wet kisses as you go. You make your way down to his belt, unbuckling it with such a need that he can’t help but just watch you. You slip the belt out of the loops, letting it fall to the ground, and you’re scooting back more to situate yourself in between the tight space of his legs. You palm him through his jeans, feeling how absolutely hard he is, which elicits a deep groan from the man above you. With that, the button and zipper of his jeans are undone. You bring your hands up back to the hem of his jeans, looking back up at him for his approval.

“Sweet girl, ya know your folks are right outside,” he tries to warn but fails with the way his voice wavers with need.

You look to the back door that’s twenty feet away, curtains completely drawn, and look back at him. “You and I both know none of them are coming back inside for a while,” you raise your eyebrows in defiance.

He is truly at war with himself right now. He could let you do what you want, knowing you get off just as much as he does when you give him head. Or he could situate you back to your original positions and finger a few orgasms out of you, and he just pulls away from you if someone were to walk in — the safer route. Or. The safest option being he bids your folks goodnight and you let them know you’re going out for the night.

Though, the latter would just be too easy. He knows you both revel in the risk, in the act of sneaking around. Which is why he finds himself scooting forward to the edge of the couch, and you take the hint loud and clear. He wants you on your knees for this. He meets your stare once more, both of you sparkling with mischief. “Well? Darlin’? Best get on with it then, huh?” Followed by him lifting his hips slightly so you can tug his clothing down, his tip red and aching.

“Fuck, yes,” you gasp out, “been thinking about this since you left my fuckin’ room, daddy, I want you so bad.”

Your admission spurs him on more, and his eyes go impossibly dark. “Go on, darlin’. Prove it to me. Show me how fuckin’ bad.”

You pull yourself up to stand on your knees for a moment, and murmur a quiet come here to him, urging him to lean in for a second. He pulls closer, stopping an inch away from your face. You open your mouth for him, tongue sticking out and flat. He gets the hint, and before you can even register, his hand is on your jaw, tilting your head back and opening you wider, and he spits.

You use all your self control not to swallow it right here and right now, desperate to feel any kind of warmth from him slide down your throat. You have other plans right now. You close your mouth and let your own spit generate, absolutely giddy with want to please your man. His eyes are fixed on you, knowing your next plan of action, but still stunned all the same at how fucking filthy his sweet girl is. You pull yourself back, hovering your mouth over his erection.

You open your mouth and just let the combination of both of you fall from your mouth, sliding down his cock like the sweetest of syrups that you can’t wait to lick up. As the amount of spit starts to really gather, you grab him by the base and start stroking up and down his length, putting extra emphasis on his tip, running your finger over his slit for good measure. He lets out a stuttered groan at that, and you take that as your queue to finally put him in your mouth. Running your tongue in the same pattern your fingers did his tip, making him hiss in your ability to make him fold at the smallest of touches.

You keep this pace for a good while, using your hand in tandem with your mouth, stroking up and down in the speed and pressure that you know brings him to the edge fast. The sounds coming from your throat mixed with the slick feeling of your hand pumping him has your pussy absolutely dripping for attention. Fuck it. You slide your other hand down into your underwear, and begin to play with your clit, not wanting to go any deeper for fear of getting blood all over the place. Joel wouldn’t mind—of course, he wouldn’t—but you would, so you give yourself just enough to ease the aching need between your legs. Your moans get louder now that you’re touching yourself, your throat adding a delicious vibrating sensation to him.

His eyes were shut at how fucking amazing you’re taking him, but with the sounds you’re making, he can’t help but make sure all his focus is on you. And god damn, when he sees you touching yourself so prettily while you’re being such a good girl making daddy feel so fucking good, he can’t help but cum at the sight. “F-fuck, sweet girl, holy fuckin’ hell,” he breathes, “It turn you on that bad to have my dick in your mouth, huh?”

You pull off of him with a pop, making sure you keep as much of his cum in your mouth as you can—because there’s a fuck ton—and you fix your stare into his dark eyes as you swallow every last bit of him. “So fucking good, daddy, I-” you break off into a moan, your hand that was pumping him now gripping his thigh to maintain your balance as you continue the ministrations on your pussy.

“Cum for me, baby, show me how good it makes you feel to be daddy’s little slut,” he demands. You gasp out at his words, that demand being what really throws you over the edge. Your clit pulses underneath your fingers, you feel yourself gush out, your blood and cum making you feel impossibly messier, and with that, your body goes rigid.

Joel leans forward and grabs onto your jaw, keeping you upright while you come back down from your high. You’re so far gone that you don’t realize he’s peppering your face with kisses, uttering sweet nothings until you’re back with him. He gently pulls your hand from your pants and settles them into your lap.

“I’ve got ya, baby,” he kisses your lips softly.

“My sweet girl,” he kisses your jaw, “I love you,” another kiss at your pulse point below your ear. He feels your body begin to relax.

“Atta girl, baby,” he whispers before reaching down and settling his other arm underneath your legs, positioning himself so he can pick you up in a cradle position. He stands and carries you to your bathroom, settling you on your feet for one moment so he can pull your sweats and underwear off of you. He guides you down onto the toilet, kissing your forehead and muttering a quick one sec, baby before he steps out. He comes back two minutes later, and you’re still in subspace but slightly more grounded, and he kneels down in front of you, instructing you to lift one foot at a time.

He went to go get you a new pair of underwear and some gray sweatpants. He already stuck another pad to your underwear, too. The action fills you with such an overwhelming feeling that you can’t help the tears that roll down your flushed cheeks. He looks up, knowing everything you’re saying and feeling by your gaze alone. He cups your cheeks with both hands, rubs his thumb to wipe the stray tears, and kisses your forehead, your left eye, then your right, your nose, and finally your lips, all in an attempt to seal every ounce of love and adoration he has for you.

“I love you,” you finally say, leaning your forehead against his, and just take a moment with his hands on you. He pulls back again with a kiss to your forehead, and he grabs the wipes on the counter, encouraging you to lean back a bit, so he can clean you properly.

“Wait, no,” you meekly say, trying to grab the wipes from his hands. He knows you get embarrassed at the fact that he sees you a little gross like this, and you know he truly doesn’t care. Usually he relents and lets you do it yourself, but tonight, he’s doing everything for you whether you like it or not. He raises one eyebrow at you, and that’s all you need to bring your arms back down in defeat. You lean yourself back a little, spreading your legs open, and let him clean you up.

When it comes to other activities during your period, you usually are uncomfortable. But with Joel? With him, you don’t mind. You actually love it. It’s in moments like these that remind you how irrevocably in love you are with this man.

Afterwards he stands you up, pulls your bottoms on, and turns you towards the sink and washes your hands for you. He really wasn’t kidding at how easy he wanted you to take today.

He carried you back to the couch and wrapped a fluffy blanket around you. You threw yourself on him in the middle of your guys’ meal, so after he settles you into the couch, he transfers your shared food to a real plate instead of paper and warms everything up. He does the same to your peppermint tea.

After everything is warmed, he settles back onto the couch beside you, pulling your legs up onto his thighs and holding you above your knee to secure your position. You go to reach the fork, but Joel is quick to swat your hand away, taking the fork and feeding you a bite of your mashed potatoes instead.

“I told you,” he scolds, “to take it easy today.”

You frown, “And I have been! You’ve literally been taking care of me since you got here.”

He sets the fork down, reaching for your tea and lifting it up to your mouth. He’s not gonna respond until you take a sip, which was much needed as your belly immediately calms at the heat. You take one more sip as he begins, “You pouncin’ on my fuckin’ dick was not takin’ it easy.”

You cough on the fucking liquid still traveling down your throat. You were not expecting that to come out of his mouth. You try really hard to will yourself not to fucking burst out in laughter because you know how serious he was with this statement. So instead, you settle for your typical smart ass remark. “It wasn’t?” You asked. “Seemed real easy to me,” you add as you take the fork from his hand and take another bite of the yummy food before you. His eyebrow shoots up and you give him a lopsided smirk in return.

“Watch it, sweet girl,” he says as he brings his hand up, thumb and forefinger pinching at your chin to force your eyes into his. He gives you a bruising kiss, one that entices him to bite at your bottom lip as he pulls away. You can feel yourself slipping again. He’s not done with you, he’s just giving you a moment to refuel.

“I’ll be good,” you softly whimper as you chase for his lips. “I’m not so sure about that,” he responds as his grip on your chin gets tighter, forcing you stationary and a few inches too far from where you want him to be. Your eyebrows furrow and your eyes gloss over as you whisper out a small I promise, to which he says, “Don’t worry, darlin’. I’ll make sure of it.”

He lets go of your face completely and continues feeding you, alternating between the food and your tea. As the next bite he prepares for you reaches your mouth, something that has never happened before decided to occur. Your mother comes inside the house, and her first sight as soon as she came in was you, completely wrapped around Joel, and him feeding you.

Your jaw freezes, his grip on your leg tightens out of instinct to protect you, and it’s a staring standoff between the three of you. Joel doesn’t realize he’s still holding the fork up until his hand starts to shake, so he gently sets it down on the plate. It’s you who speaks first. “Mom, I-”

But it’s your mother who wants the first word. The first two words, actually. “How long?”

Your heart is beating out of your chest, and the only thing keeping you from full blown panic is all the ways you’re in physical contact with Joel. “I can explain, mom, I-”

“Flower,” she says to comfort you. She’s not mad? you think. Your heart immediately calms, but now you’re just confused. Growing up, your mother always called you her flower. She used it predominantly when she wanted to help you regulate. You’ve always been full of anxiety and other strong emotions. Flowers are strong and beautiful, and show exactly when they need support. And when they are given the support they need, they flourish. That’s you. You are a flower. Her flower. But now she can see, there’s someone else tending to you. And she is not mad.

“A year and some change,” you softly say. She looks between you two. Then she steps forward. “Look,” she breathes. “I know our family hasn’t been the best in showing love or appreciation. And they obviously haven’t been the best at fending for themselves-”

“Amen to that,” you say, and she chuckles in appreciation. She continues.

“Thank you, by the way. For everything you do around here. We both know none of it would get done around here if it weren’t for you. I try to help you as much as I can, but obviously not enough. If you can pull everyone’s weight around here, which you shouldn’t have been doing in the first place, then I can at least pull my own and whip them into pulling their own, too.”

Your eyes are watering, and you take a deep, shaky breath. Joel feels it. He brings his hand around to rub small circles into your back. You’re so grateful he’s here. “I love you,” you say to your mom.

“I love you, too, flower, but I’m not done. I also know that I’m not too great at using my voice. Defending what’s right. But you’re the one person in this family that’s given me the inspiration to fight for what I believe in. You give me strength, and constantly seeing this family pull you down lower and lower as the years go by breaks me. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

Tears begin to fall, both on your face and your mom’s.

“And in this last year, and some change, to be exact,” she smiles as she recalls your answer from earlier, “you have been the most vibrant flower of the entire garden. In the gloominess of this house, you continue to grow, and I’ve been dying to understand what changed. And now I see why. And I have never been more grateful for another human—the first one being you—until he entered your life.”

You and Joel both look at each other, his eyes have a hint of gloss to them now, too.

“So,” your mother says as she reaches for the tissue box on the counter and walks back to hand you the box. “I won’t tell a soul. It’s not my story to share. And remember. I will always have your back. Always. I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel comfortable enough to tell me about such a beautiful relationship, but we’re here now and I need you to know that I will forever support what makes my flower happy,” she looks to Joel, “and that’s you. I will support both of you until my flower decides on something different.”

Joel’s face turns into a scowl, half joking and half pissed at the thought of you leaving him. “Which, I have a feeling isn’t gonna happen, so you can calm yourself, Mr. Grumpy Pants,” your mother adds after seeing his boyish reaction that would normally scare anyone but you, and apparently your mother.

You lose your shit at his new nickname, and all the emotions just flow out at once. You pull yourself off of Joel and run into your mothers arms, needing her comfort. She holds you like that for a few seconds before she says, “Okay, go, I think Mr. Grump needs your comfort now. Absolutely no way I’m doing it.” You laugh and squeeze her one last time before she grabs something in the kitchen and heads back outside. You make your way back to Mr. Grump, straddling his lap. Before she opens the back door, though, she calls out your name.

“Yes, mom?”

“I’ll cover for you, hon,” she says nonchalantly as she goes back outside.

You and Joel stare at each other for a moment, too shocked to take action on the opportunity that just presented itself to you. Then, it finally hits. You pull him into a kiss that’s downright feral, your hips grinding down on him on instinct. “Take-” you say as you try to break away from the kiss, but you’re too drunk on him to completely pull away, “t-take me home, baby.”

He grunts in response, and stands up with you completely wrapped around him. He heads for your front door.

“Baby, Baby, wait, not here,” you say breathily as you go back in for another quick kiss, “through the garage.” He looks confused for a second before he remembers. The front door camera. The left side of your driveway being the camera’s blind spot. Immediately he reroutes.

You would think the first thing he does is bring you to his bedroom, but no. He sets you on his couch, molding your body into his signature position for you that makes you sit on your heels, palms up on your thighs. He could’ve easily told you he wanted you in position, but again, he told you to take it easy.

Although the position almost always forces you into subspace, you’re confused and coherent enough to question him, “Baby..?”

He steps back, looking down at you with his eyebrow raised, “Don’tcha remember, sweet thing?”

“You pouncin’ on my fuckin’ dick was not takin’ it easy”, he said.

You promised you would be good.

To which he assured you, “Don’t worry, darlin’. I’ll make sure of it.”

He sees the moment it clicks in your head, and immediately his hold is on your chin, forcing you to look up at him. He leans down, his lips ghosting over yours. He whispers, “Color?” Still demanding but with a hint of softness to it. You tilt your head further back, trying to make your lips touch him more, “Green,” you say.

He pulls your chin into him and kisses you, slow and sweet, his tongue tangling with yours. He pulls away, breath slightly shaky, but he composes himself quickly and stands straight up, letting go of any contact with you.

His couch is either really low to the ground, or he is just one big motherfucker. Either way, you sitting on your haunches on his couch like this while he stands straight up in front of you makes your head in direct eye line of his crotch. And you can’t seem to pull your eyes away from it. You see his tent forming, and you’re smart enough to realize what lesson he’s about to give you.

“Told you to take it fuckin’ easy today,” he says as he slowly unbuckles his belt, “didn’t I, baby?”

“Yes, daddy,” you say quickly, not wanting to piss him off more.

“But ya didn’t,” his belt falls. “Did you?”

Your spit thickens. “No, daddy.”

His belt is on the floor, and he’s reaching to undo his button and zipper. “My good girl was jus’ too fuckin’ eager to have my dick in her mouth, hm?”

You lick your bottom lip, catching the drool you didn’t realize was pooling out of your mouth. Like Pavlov’s fucking dogs, he’s got you trained. You let out a whiny mhm in response, already completely blissed out at the prospect of what’s about to happen. He settles for it, this time.

He pulls his jeans down, just enough to pull himself free. He leaves his boxers up for now while he explains. He walks closer to you, his hardness one lick away from you, and forces you to look up at him again. “You’re gonna take my cock in your mouth again, sweetheart,” he says.

You eagerly cut him off, “Yes, please, thank you, daddy, I-”

He shuts you up by pushing his thumb in your mouth. “But you’re not gonna move or do anythin’, besides sit prettily for daddy,” his grip on your jaw tightens, “ya understand me?” He slides his thumb out and spreads your spit across your bottom lip and down your chin.

“I understand, daddy,” you say, your eyes completely glossed over. Out of instinct, you fold your hands behind your back, signaling to Joel your complete submission to him.

“Such a good girl when you remember how to be patient,” he says as he stands back to his full height again. He gets impossibly closer, crowding your face. He pulls his boxers down, and his erection springs free, the tip landing against your lips, smearing the pre-cum across it. It takes everything in you not to lick it up—you can’t, he needs to give you your next instructions. He hears your silent pleas, and as he settles his hand at the back of your head, fingers grounding themselves into the roots of your hair, he tells you, “Open.”

Knowing how rough Joel can get, you take a deep breath, relaxing your throat, and you open wide, your tongue laid flat out, slick with the drool that’s been forming since the noise of the belt buckle hit your ears.

His other hand is holding himself at the base, guiding himself into your mouth. He taps his tip on your tongue a few times for good measure, before pushing himself all the way in. You feel your gag reflex coming, but you take another deep breath through your nose, urging your throat to relax a little more. It does. He pushes slowly in until your nose is flush with the patch of hair above his length. All you wanna do is unclasp your hands and reach for his thighs to pull him into you tighter, wanting to engulf his scent into you, but you can’t. All you can do is take what he gives you while sitting pretty like the good girl you are.

He starts to pull back a little, and that naturally makes your throat contract, forcing a groan out of him and more saliva out of you. He lets go of himself, and now both hands are on you. He taps your cheek, asking you to look up at him. “Hands behind the entire time. Any touch on my thigh signals red to me, okay?”

You nod your head as best you can with his grip on you and let out a little moan for good measure. At your signal, he completely and utterly wrecks you with no hesitation. And you take it exactly as he gives it, just like you promised you would.

The more he thrusts, the more spit that builds, leaking from your mouth and down your chin. Your eyes are shut at the feeling of him abusing your throat, but he won’t have that. You feel his other hand not tap your cheek twice. Your eyes fly open and land on his dark ones. “Those eyes stay on me,” he grunts out at a particularly rough thrust. You whimper out at his words, trying to convey your apologies for doing something that could make him mad. “No, it’s alright, darlin’,” he says, his pace never faltering. “I- fuck- wasn’t specific enough,” he grunts, “but ya know what I expect now,” his thumb caresses the apple of your cheek. “Isn’t that right, pretty girl?”

Your eyebrows furrow and try to emphasize with your eyes that yes, eyes on you, daddy. He understands. “Atta girl, baby,” he breathes out, pulling out momentarily to give you a breath.

You choke out a little as he pulls out. He softens, concern laced in his voice, “You okay, amor?”

“Yes,” you say weakly, “I promise, please. W-want more..” You open your mouth wide again, tongue positioned perfectly for him to slide back in.

His eyes fall dark again and there’s that signature lopsided smirk. He guides himself back into you, completely, and his hand from your cheek glides down to wrap around your throat. “Shit, amor, you feel that?” He squeezes at the base of your throat. “I’m all the way fuckin’ in there, baby,” he says, falling back into a rough pace, feeling the outline of his dick glide in and out of your pathway. “You’re takin’ me so-” he lets out a pained grunt. He’s close. “-so fuckin’ good, shit, baby.”

Your throat constricts again, and that feeling is what sends him over. For the second time today, all of your senses are being consumed by everything Joel: his taste, his smell, his touch, the downright sinful sounds that grace your ears, and you take it all in, eagerly. Both hands release their hold on you as he pulls out of your mouth, and you’re quick to lean into his hips. His hand shoots back to the nape of your neck, pulling you back like a mother does to her puppy.

“You’re fuckin’ insatiable, you know that?” he says, out of breath, still trying to compose himself from the soul-sucking he just took from you. You give him a blissed out giggle, “You jus’ taste so yummy, daddy.”

“Yeah?” he asks, amused. “Well, so do you, babygirl, so it’s my turn now.”

Immediately your ears perk up and your body goes rigid. The thought of him giving you head with the flow you have right now doesn’t sit right with you. “Yellow,” you shakily whisper.

He lets go of the back of your neck and falls to his knees to match your eye level. “Oh, honey,” he cups your face, “Please tell me how to make it better. Do you wanna stop here, mi amor?”

Your body relaxes at his instant reaction. You’ve only ever had to use a safe-word with Joel twice. Today, included. And in each rare moment, he does what every caring partner and proper Dominant should: validate, comfort, and communicate. He has never given you any reason to be scared or feel disrespected. This is Joel we’re talking about here. You’re safe in his presence, always. The thought puts you at ease, but it also makes you feel a little ridiculous at using a safe word for something that could easily be communicated without it.

“Wait, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you or anything, it’s something so tiny and stupid, I should’ve just communicated instead of going straight to the code-” you quickly start panicking as you ramble on, but he’s quicker. He pulls you off the couch and into his lap, holding you in a tight embrace, knowing the pressure is what helps pull you away from your panic attack. He’s muttering it’s okay, you’re okay and I’ve got ya, as he kisses the top of your head. As soon as he feels your body relax in his arms, he speaks. “Darlin’ girl, please look at me.” You do, teary-eyed.

“I completely forgot you were on your period. I was too in the moment, and I had a lapse in judgment in my words. I’m sorry. You should not be the one to apologize, ever, if you’re ever in an uncomfortable situation like this. The safe words are there for a reason, okay? Use them. They are there to keep you safe, always. Thank you for speakin’ up, my love.”

You nod your head at his words, too emotion-filled to respond with anything else right now. The only thing you can offer is a whisper of a “Thank you, I love you,” but that’s enough for him.

He gives you a soft kiss to your lips. “How would you like to continue, beautiful girl?”

You think for a moment, and the way that his hand feels wrapped around you starts to make your arousal build again. All you can think of are his big, calloused hands all over you. In your mouth. On your thighs. In your warmth. Screw the bloody mess, he doesn’t care. You squirm at the thought, and he feels you falling back into your space again. His cock stirs beneath you. He tightens his grip on you to coax you out of your thoughts. “Fingers,” you squeak out, your cheeks flushing red instantaneously. He grins, but his eyes stay fixed on you, hinting at you for something more. Then, it clicks. “P-please, daddy, need your fingers in me,” you say, voice trembling with need.

“I’ve got you, pretty girl,” he says as he pulls your thighs around him and brings himself to full height. He leads you to his bed, setting you down on the edge with a kiss to your forehead and a quick one moment, sweetheart.

He leaves to return back with a large bath towel and lays it across the center of his bed, dark blue to match his sheets. He situates pillows for your head and leaves a smaller one out, just in case. You feel his weight shift the bed, and he’s walking toward you on his knees. You lean into his touch the moment his hand makes contact at your lower back, and he’s guiding your shirt off of you. He takes that same arm, wrapping it around your waist, and leans down to situate the crook of your knees over his other arm. He’s carrying you up higher to the center of the bed, completely removing any opportunity for a thought to run through that head of yours. He wants you focused on nothing but the way he’s going to make you feel.

Once you’re laying down on your back, he makes his way down, placing soft kisses on your belly and all over your thighs while he slides your bottoms down your legs. Once you’re completely bare, Joel situates himself in a way that he’s never done before. He lays next to you on his side, shoulder propping him up, so his hand is underneath your head and he’s still looking down at you. He grabs onto your thigh closest to him, and he hooks your leg atop of his, opening you up.

The level of intimacy and vulnerability of the way you two are positioned against one another has your mind reeling, absolutely aching to be consumed by him. Joel is always sweet and soft with you, but this is completely on another level. It doesn’t feel motivated by a feral need to rip each other apart. The motivation lies in the pure need to feel. To feel you against him, consumed in the entirety of love and raw emotion. To feel him against you, filling you with a genuine intimacy and devotion you both know only he can provide you.

He brings his other hand up to gently cradle your face, and he leans in to slot his lips against yours, his tongue running along your bottom lip, swallowing the faintest of whimpers that slip from your throat. Your hand slides to the back of his neck, keeping him close, deepening your dance of lip and tongue. His hand drifts away from your face and takes his time to grasp and show attention to the rest of your body.

He takes one of your breasts in his hand, massaging it with a care that causes your fingers to curl tighter in his hair. He shows the same attention to your other one, then flattens out his entire hand to run down your sternum and belly, positioning his hand on the pathway down for his middle and ring finger to be the first that make contact with your sex.

And when it does, neither of you can hold back the groan that leaves your mouths. He’s too enamored by you to let his lips leave yours, but you have a feeling your filthy-mouthed man would make a comment about how wet you are for him. You know you’re right when he completely bypasses your clit and down to your entrance, eager to get his fingers covered in you, so he can spread it all over you.

You pull away for a moment, both of you out of breath and pupils completely blown. “You see how good you make me feel, daddy?” His fingers reach your clit again. “I’m so fucking wet,” you moan out, “and it’s all because of you- all for you, daddy.”

“Baby, please,” he grits out, his fingers leaving your clit after a few more circles, dipping into your entrance with ease. “So fuckin’ good to me, but fuck, stop talking,” he breathes, hips involuntarily thrusting into you, “need you to soak my fingers first, amor.”

You shoot him a smile that gives him butterflies, and then you’re pulling him back in, needing to feel him everywhere he can possibly manage.

The pace of his fingers are perfect, constantly hitting the spot that’ll get you there in no time with the heated sensation of lips. His hand behind your head moves down and wraps underneath your waist, pulling you in flush with his body. He needs to feel every part of you. Your leg closest to him—the one hooked around his leg—comes off of him, and now you two are completely laying on your sides, facing each other.

His fingers leave you for a moment to hike your other leg up and around his waist, your pussy inches away from his center. His fingers find you once more, and the angle is impossibly deeper. You’re whining out now as you rock your hips against his hand. He knows you're close with the way your breath shakes. He reaches his thumb up to circle your clit, and you break away from his lips, throwing your head back at an instinct, exposing all your sweet spots for his mouth to reach. As his hands continue working you to the edge, he gives you the final push when he latches at the base of your neck where your shoulder meets, and he litters the area in wet kisses and painfully delicious bites.

Oh, fuck, daddy, yes,” you moan out, your vision going white and your body going rigid. Your climax hits you so hard that you don’t realize his fingers left you, your thighs still convulsing and hurtling you through your high. You can faintly hear Joel, muttering his sweet whispers, as he always does.

“Oh, fuck, that was so fuckin’ sexy, baby.”

“You’re beautiful, yanno that?”

“I love you, my pretty girl,” he places a kiss right atop your heart.

Still, your mind is floating somewhere in narnia, so he understands when you don’t reply right away. You’re not even completely back from your orgasmic haze when he pulls his boxers completely off, throwing them somewhere in the room, and his aching cock is resting against your core.

“Darlin’ girl,” he brings his hand up to guide your limpless head to look at him, “I need you to use your words f’ me, honey, please give me a color,” he says, the softest you have ever heard him.

You give him the smallest smile back, but it’s so full of love and admiration. You’re lightly nodding your head yes, trying to will your vocal cords to respond. “G-gre..” you let out.

He stops you with a kiss, “Okay, honey, okay, that’s all I needed,” and another kiss, “Can I give my baby what she so desperately wants now?”

The prospect of the sensation your body is about to go through because of him ignites a fire in you. It forces you to come back down from your haze, so you can register every second of him in his entirety. Your neck straightens and your eyes open fully, pupils blacker than he’s ever seen. “Yes, daddy, please give it to me,” you say with a neediness more than anything. His lip quirks up in a smirk. “What my baby wants, she gets,” and he’s pushing your hips into him as he pushes into you, his tip notching at your entrance. You hiss, reveling in the stretch he gives you regardless of how much he works you open.

There’s a stigma with Dominants that they are always so calm and collected, always composed and never in a state of neediness and desperation like their submissive counterparts. However, that’s simply not true. In every please, in every whimper, in every cry; in every orgasm, in every act of brattiness, in each use of the honorific; in every demonstration of pure submission: there is a Dominant, willing themself not to give in and give their partner everything they need. There is a Dominant about to break because one more plea from the submissive’s mouth has them ready and willing to forgo every single plan they had for that particular scene.

And that’s exactly what Joel does here. He had a plan for you, even after you used your yellow code, but with the way he’s wrapped around you tonight—you have the power. You’re calling the shots. He exists simply and solely for you and your pleasure. Nothing else matters.

He bottoms out, and both his arms are wrapped around your waist, both of you completely aligned with one another. “How do you want me, baby?”

“I don’t care,” your forehead falls into his, “I just need to feel you, please.”

With your words, he’s thrusting into you with a calculated intention. You needed to feel him, you said. So he pushes in not too fast but not too slow, and hard. He buries himself to the hilt every single time, and it’s like he put you in a trance. Your eyes softly shut, trying to stay open to look at him; your eyebrows are pulled together; and the only sounds falling from your mouth are moans and whimpers and sweet nothings only he’d be able to decipher with your babbling. You feel everything in this angle, with his rhythm. You feel every vein, every ridge, you feel his tip kissing every sweet spot inside of you while simultaneously stealing the oxygen from your lungs. He feels so fucking good. Your leg hooked around his waist squeezes tighter on instinct, and he groans at the feeling. Seeing you completely desperate and at his disposal nearly finishes him right then and there.

Your hand is at its usual spot for tonight, wrapped tightly in the curls at the base of his neck. You're meeting his thrusts now, and it heightens the sensation tenfold. Both your breaths are hot and heavy, mingling into the thick air of Joel’s bedroom. You’re nearly at the edge again, you both are, but you need a little more of a push. “Baby, t-touch me, please,” you say with more breath than your actual voice. He sounds absolutely pained, “I got’cha, baby, I got’cha.” His hand leaves your waist, the other tightening around you to compensate for its absence, and his fingers are back on your bundle of nerves, circling at the same rhythm that he’s pulling in and out of you.

A gasp leaves your throat, and every part of you that’s wrapped around him pulls him in impossibly tighter, “fuck, just like that, fuck, please don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop,” you ramble on in an almost incoherent whine. You can feel your words and sounds spurring him on as his cock twitches inside of you. He’s close, too. Then it clicks, you realize what you meant earlier when you said you needed to feel him first.

His fingers speed up and so do his hips. “C’mon, darlin’, such a good fuckin’ girl, give it to me, soak my fuckin’ cock,” he grunts out, now chasing his own release.

Not stopping your movements, you unravel your arms from him and you push down on his chest, pushing him onto his back. You’re on top of him now, your movements only faltering momentarily as you situated yourself to straddle him. You grab both his arms, the one working your clit and the other on your waist, and you bring them up above his head. You pin them there with your own hand, your body leaning over him and adding to the momentum as you bounce on him. “No,” you say, almost a growl, “Need you inside me first,” sucking his bottom lip.

He fucking whines. “Need you inside me first, then I’ll give you what you’re looking for.” You switch off into a grind of your hips, moving back and forth as the feel of his pubic hairs rub against your clit causing your pussy to flutter on him. He feels it and his hands flex to move from your grip. Your hold on him tightens. You have the power. You lean down, licking a pathway up his neck and making your way near his ear. You whisper, “Stuff me full of you, daddy, and I’ll fucking soak you, I promise.”

“Fuck!” He growls as your hips speed up, and now he’s the one seeing stars. His face and neck flush into a bright red as he floods you with his release. And as if right on queue, the warmth and the feeling of him in you and seeping out of you is what finishes you. The constant stimulation on your clit from his pubic bone along with the angle his dick continues to prod at, you’re creaming and soaking him, just like he wanted. His thighs and even the area below his belly are drenched with the mixture of your guys’ fluids, and he can’t help but gawk at the scene before him.

You are completely surrounded by the product of your two’s arousal (plus a bit of blood, but he doesn’t care), you continuing slow grinds as you work yourself through your orgasm, and the way that your head is thrown back in pure bliss—he’s entranced by it all. His cock is nearing the line of painful overstimulation with you still on him, but he really can’t find himself caring enough to get your attention.

He thought he would never be into giving up his dominance, his yearn for control. But now that you’ve given him a taste at what you’re capable of, fuck, he feels downright insane if he didn’t want more of it.

You realize he may not be used to the oversensitivity as much as you may be trained for, so you bring yourself to a halt and slowly slip off of him. You bring your eyes to meet his, and you can’t help the giggle that leaves your mouth, seeing the goofy, blissed out grin on his face as he looks at you. You lean towards his head and give him a sweet kiss to his lips and his nose, and you softly tell him that you’ll be right back but to stay here with a slightly more demanding tone.

You quickly go pee in his en suite bathroom and wipe your bottom half down. You grab a pair of his boxers he leaves for emergencies under the sink (you let out a little chuckle at the fact), and grab a pad from the box he also leaves under the sink, for you, and stick it onto his underwear before shimmying it up on you. You grab another washcloth and soak it in warm water and walk back to the bed. You sit yourself up next to him and start wiping him down. As soon as you finish, you try your best and throw the washcloth, aiming for the sink of the bathroom, but you fail, miserably. It lands with a wet plop on the side of the toilet, centimeters away from landing in the toilet’s bowl. “Eh, that’s good enough,” you say to no one in particular as you nudge him to bring his hips up so you can take the towel out that he placed earlier to catch any of your blood drippings. You place it in the hamper, then you bring yourself to lay back down, cuddling into Joel.

He turns so you both are facing each other again. His head propped up on his hand. His other hand runs up and down everywhere he can reach.

“W-was what I did at the end there… was that okay?” you ask meekly as you slowly bring your eyes up to his.

He lets out a hearty laugh, shoulders shaking. You weren’t expecting that kind of reaction. “Honestly,” he says as his fingers come to a stop and he just lets his arm wrap around you lazily. “I was really shocked when you flipped me over, but then,” he pauses for a second. Really just to spur you on more than anything. “I was so fuckin’ turned on and achin’ for you. I’d just about let you do anythin’ to me if you treat me like that, darlin’,” he says as he leans down to place a kiss to your lips.

He pulls back and your gaze is away from him and your cheeks are as red as he was earlier. A shy smile paints your face. He brings his fingers up to your chin, “Oh, come on now, no point in gettin’ all shy on me now is there, my dirty girl?”

You give him the best reprimanding face you can muster (which he finds beyond adorable), and you parrot a common phrase he uses with you when you’re a brat, “Watch it, big boy.”

He laughs at your antics, but you see his cock twitch at the pet name. Your eyebrows shoot up. “Joel!” you say, actually reprimanding him this time, but you genuinely don’t know what for.

His hand shoots to cover his mouth, an attempt at stopping his burst of laughter at your reaction. He lets go of his mouth after a moment and pulls you closer to him. He places kisses all over your face while you both giggle and let yourselves fall from your high together.

He abruptly stops his kisses to look at you. He doesn’t say a word. “Yes?” you ask, curious of that mind of his.

“Ya know how much I love you, right?” he asks, genuinely.

“I think I’ve got a pretty good hint, baby.”

“Good,” he says, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“And I love you so much, you do know that, right?” you offer as you bury yourself into his chest, inhaling his musk mingled the faint aroma of you.

He repeats your response back to you. You smile in his chest. It’s you who places a kiss atop his heart this time.

You both stay wrapped up in each other for a few more hours before your tummy begins yelling at you for sustenance. Though, until that happens, you two lie in each other’s arms, wondering what you did to deserve such an all-consuming, raw and genuine love.

Your mother was right. You really were the brightest flower in the garden, and it was all because of your big, macho man, who was actually as soft and cuddly as the clouds that bring water for the garden. Ever since he entered your life, he made sure those clouds poured all their attention on you. Giving you all the water and nutrients, all the love and care that you would ever need.

Forever.

End note: Thank you so much for reading! As always, your support is always always appreciated. There's no amount of words to describe how grateful I am for how much love I receive from you all. You're all too amazing. Feedback is also greatly appreciated, whether it's praise or constructive! Anything and everything helps me to be the best writer I can be. I love you all so very much💚💚💚

Tags: @javierpena-inatacvest @katiexpunk @janaispunk @teatree121 @farmerlarrry @mellymbee @jobee403 @soavenuepenguin @rainbowcosmicchaos @untamedheart81 @babygal-babygal @pedritoferg @pedrostories

EDIT: As of the new year 2024, I no longer do taglists!! Follow @endlessthxxghtsnotifs and turn on the notifications to be updated when new stories come out!!

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edenesth · 8 months ago

Text

TWTHH Spinoff: Little Touch of Heaven [Teaser]

Pairing: physician!Yunho x herbalist!reader

AU: historical au (Joseon era)

Summary: Dedicating his life to his work, Yunho had never bothered to entertain the idea of settling down. Despite encountering many charming women throughout his career, none had sparked his desire for companionship. But everything shifted when he met a certain herbalist whose medicinal knowledge seemed to surpass even his own. What began as mere intrigue might have gradually developed into affection.

A/N: Special thanks to the sweet @sundaybossanova for coming up with the main concept of Yunho's spinoff.

Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist | Part 1

"Mr. Ryu, I'm afraid I'll need all your raspberry and peppermint leaf supply for the day. Lady Park hasn't been doing too well in the early stages of her pregnancy," the physician announced upon entering the apothecary where he regularly obtained his medicines and herbs, his eyes busily scanning around for anything else that could be useful.

"Is that so? You might want to consider our latest batch of Codonopsis root imported directly from China just a week ago. It's highly effective in boosting vital energy and reducing fatigue during pregnancy."

Yunho's head shot up in surprise.

First of all, why hadn't he thought of that before? More importantly, the feminine voice addressing him sounded nothing like the elderly man who usually managed the store. He turned to find a young woman behind the counter, his eyes widening in astonishment.

"O-oh, um... hello there. I didn't realise Mr. Ryu had such a young wife," he blurted out before cursing himself, feeling embarrassed for making such a hasty assumption.

Your face immediately twisted in disgust, "Goodness gracious, you're severely mistaken! I'm his daughter!"

Way to go, you complete idiot!

This is probably gonna be the least angsty one out of all the spinoffs hehe but y'all know how I am, the climax might get a little exciting🙈 As always, I'm excited to hear your thoughts on the concept!

Tag list (1/8): Tumblr is a bitch and won't let me mention more than 5 users in a single sentence, so now my tag list looks like a complete joke🤡

@itstheghostofmypast @huachengsbestie01 @minghaoslatina @weedforthoughtz @minkiflwr @cheolliehugs |

@the-kpop-simp @writingwieny @stayatinykatsy @skzline @green-agent |

@stayinhellevator @vampzity @tinyteezer @evidive @vantediary |

@superbbananananana @kimyeolchan @chocolate-scoups @decadentstrangernacho @vic0921 |

@marievllr-abg @sunnyhokyu @seungmin-in-thebuilding @heyitsmetonid @sansaurora9904 @darkestacademiamindsx12-blog @pay13 |

@myblovedjyh @professormingisglasses @newworldwritings @chicken-fifi @thunderous-wolf |

@shythinggiver @madnpan @yandere-stories @anxiousskylar @frobin4ever @starssongs98 |

@dollce-exe @jan-l @lovelyred2 @haven-cove @watermelon2319 |

@dreamingofyeo @akimkim @scuzmunkie @satsuri3su @mismatchfluffysocks |

@borntoshineateez @st4rhwa @ddaeing @tropicalsstuff @bts-army380 |

@beauty143 @naps-over-degree @idfkeddieishot @sis-101 @lemon-sage17 @jcalicocatj

#edenesth #the way to this heart #little touch of heaven #twthh spinoff #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #jung yunho #jeong yunho #ateez yunho #historical au #joseon era #yunho x reader #yunho x you #ateez fic

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velvetures · 1 year ago

Note

could i request a ghost x “strawberry/cutecore/hello kitty” reader?! basically just everything is pink and they are super bubbly :>

pls and ty 🙏🏻

Simon "Ghost" Riley & Cutecore/Hyperfeminine Aesthetic

a/n: I loved this request... but it was my first attempt at the aesthetic/vibe as a whole and I'm not sure if I hit the mark. I used this pic as my inspo. ):( Summary: What it's like for Ghost to have an "everything in pink, please." gf, and what kind of feelings go along with it. TW's: suggestive content 18+ ONLY, established relationship, possessiveness?, def not proofread (the usual), fem!reader.

Of all the women that Simon ever entertained the thought of being, one like you didn’t initially even present itself as a remotely interesting option. The idea of someone such much different from himself sounded like nothing less than a good way of fucking up someone else’s -otherwise- normal life by inserting himself into it. You just always seemed so damn happy and excited about even the smallest of things; Practically amplifying the good feelings floating around in the air and blasting them right back at him. Never without something pink on and dressed up like you were minutes away from attending some kind of fairy party literally scared Ghost away from having anything to do with you.

You on the other hand, weren’t exactly sure what it was that made Ghost so averse to speaking to you more than a few words at a time. Yet made it your very private little mission of sorts to snoop and poke around until you found some kind of answer as to why such a massive and expertly lethal man couldn’t bear to stand within arms reach of you. He just intrigued you for some reason or another. Only getting glimpses of the man’s real self in his eyes -the only visible part of him- and having to make your next moves based off of nothing more than gut-feelings and the hope that you were reading his signals correctly.

At first, it crossed your mind that your preferred aesthetic of sorts could be a bit of the problem. For most people it might appear a bit too much, and when looking at Ghost dressed almost head to to in black with a skull painted on his masked face… there was good reason to assume it in the first place. What you didn’t know was that it was so much deeper than your affinity for lace-trimmed socks, Mary Jane’s, pearls, and practically anything hyper-feminine and in a shade of pink. Ghost didn’t believe you were weak or predisposed to acting childish. You held a massively significant job in journalism and worked harder than most people he knew at what you did. You just happened to enjoy everything around you looking like some damn cotton-candy tea party.

What bothered him was your sweet personality and an intrinsic value he held for just how fucking innocent you were towards him and everyone else around you. People could be utterly horrible right to your face, and you’d silently keep the hurt to yourself and never fight back against what they’d done. Revenge wasn’t something you cared for, while it was essential to Ghost’s motivation in his work and private life. For a long time he couldn’t balance his morals of being involved with you at all with the thoughts in the back of his mind about how much he might twist and form you into something unrecognizable. Something a lot less… pink. A person that didn’t enjoy such small little things like how a skirt had small pink flowers embroidered on it, or if the little bows you’d stick in your hair had a lace fringe on the edges.

Oh but how things changed when Ghost finally couldn’t stand looking at you without thinking about how nice it would be to have his arm wrapped around you, pulling you tight up against him to keep everyone from staring. The Lieutenant always had a weak spot for you and your sugar-sweet personality and looks. But goddamn did he start loving the color pink more than a professional murderer should. All the hues and tones of that fucking color began reminding him of you no matter where he was, or what he was doing. For the longest time, he’d been worried that he would be the one that changed you, all the while he was too deep inside his own mind to recognize that you were the one controlling the direction things were headed.

Just looking at you made him shudder with feelings of possessiveness and adoration. Standing there happy as could be with thigh-high white socks and a fluffy pink skirt, all dressed up just to go out to eat at a little late-night pub because he couldn’t stand the idea of having to show his face in the bright daylight. You knew to a certain extent that Ghost appreciated the way you lived your life just a bit more feminine than average… but the depths of his thoughts and ideas about you were surface level to say the least. He just knew what you looked like clinging to his arm walking down the street; His polar opposite and yet so happy to be close to him. A darling smile… pretty and glossed lips… frilly things on almost every piece of clothing you wore and just utterly adorable to him.

Knowing that gave him… fantasies.

Wanting to see all of the things he could buy for you to wear for him. Dress you up almost like his own little doll and get to show you off to anyone who’d look, only to have the pleasure of threatening them to do more than take one good glance. So delectable, squeezable; but for him and him alone. You were the princess Simon didn’t realize he wanted and unlocked this strange and insatiable urge to spoil the fuck out of you with every pretty pink or glittery thing you could wish for, just so he could take you home and watch you try it all on for him while sipping a bourbon on the couch.

Fuck… There wasn’t a better way to spend an evening. Well, almost.

Perfect didn’t count unless he got to see you under him, laying back on pink silk sheets you’d been adamant about buying for his house, watching your eyes roll back with every moment he made. Damn if he couldn’t make it more than fifteen minutes without needing to calm himself down, before needing to put you on your hands and knees so those pretty little fucking faces you made wouldn’t make him finish before he got started. If he was lucky he could leave hot and pink handprints on your ass for making him feel so good. Simon knew you weren’t sheltered. But to him you were still innocent. Kind in so many ways he didn’t comprehend or believe was humanly possible. For fuck’s sake, you allowed him to come into your life.

Him with his scarred hands, bullet holes, shitty disposition. A man who preferred destruction and death for it’s permanence and certainty. Simon, with his need to hide his own face and go by a name that lacked humanity. All of him starkly contrasted you in so many ways it made him spin with confusion and oftentimes guilt. Questioning why he’d been so weak as to touch you in the first place. Allow himself the chance at someone so full of life who could see the world -literally- through rose-colored lenses.

Yet you brought forth happiness and fulfillment that the soldier hadn’t found in his years of searching desperately for a purpose. He found someone he could visually see, and palpably touch who hadn’t been torn down or beaten into submission in one way or another. Sweet and innocent you had found such a simple yet powerful way of living life the way you wanted to. Ghost felt like he could protect you. Not only in the genuine aspect of loving you so much that he got physically ill at the thought of losing you to anything; but also because you were so full of life and love to give to everyone around you. He needed you. Selfishly. Then again, there needed to be more softness and genuine innocence and happiness too. And so long as he was alive and breathing, he’d always make sure you were safe.

Reblogs & Comments are Appreciated <3

#simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #cod #cod mwii #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #velvetures writes #velvetures #anon answered #anon <3 #anon ask

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bridgetoesoteria · 11 months ago

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🖤Breaking baddie🖤: Describing your 'dark feminine' energy. How to channel it?

Hola malacitas 😘 (i hope that actually made sense lol).

First things first, what is "dark feminine" energy?

Yes, this is the **first website that comes up when you google "dark feminine," but it is pretty thorough and comprehensive! I liked it the most out of all the others. The others either repeated the same points or had too many outdated/black-or-white views. Feel free to do your own research however. There are plenty of videos on YouTube as well. **One caveat...when you get to the part about tapping into DF energy, I disagree with #8 (specifically).

(We're going to keep this post light and I'll dedicate a separate post to my personal viewpoints.)

So I will be telling you all about your personal DF "archetype." I will also provide guidance on how you channel your DF energy.

I am so so excited for this! Eek 🙊 Okay, options below, left to right. I hope it resonates!

I am using a few different decks. I won't be adding pictures but I will provide what cards I drew.

Pile 1

Off the bat: I am hearing "no fuss" and also "ruthless," which is interesting considering the image you chose. I was also hearing the lyrics "all I do is win, win, win no matter what." So I'm getting some really bad ass energy right away! Come thru mob girlies!

4-Card Spread: 4 of Diamonds, 8 of Diamonds, 7 of Hearts, Joker. Bottom of deck is 6 of Clubs.

It's funny you have the 6 of Clubs (wands) on the bottom of the deck. I was hearing those lyrics about winning. This is a card that signifies victory and public recognition or celebration. I feel like the DF side of you is really bad ass! I'm also getting a pinch of "lover girl" energy. Its kind of like you have perfect formula sugar+sheist+everything nice! lol

This energy isn't afraid to be in the spotlight but is also quite comfortable in the shadows. You may be (or this is what other people think) the type to use underhanded to get ahead. Its not personal but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm also getting an energy of it is easy for people (I'm hearing "dudes" so maybe some of you talk like that) to get attached and feel led on. But I think you are married to the hustle.

Some of you may not regularly reside in this energy and could be put off by the description. But that is exactly why its dark feminine energy. It pokes and antagonizes the status quo, which is where most of us reside from day to day. Traditionally, feminines are not painted as cunning, street-wise, heartbreakers. Your DF energy pushes back against those constraints placed on feminines that require prioritizing the group over self. Not that anyone asked but I think that's actually kind of amazing.

Of course you don't have to reside in this energy and adopt some toxic alter ego, but there probably are some gems hidden here. People who move like this are usually made, not born. In some way, they learned that survival=competition, so you learn to "stay ready so you don't have to get ready." Your motto as a DF would be "every (wo)man for themselves," making betrayals feel less personal because...well it just isn't, as crazy as that sounds.

Advice: The Devil, Queen of Swords, King of Wands, The Star. Bottom of deck is 7 of Swords + Mute (Oracle)

I'm getting a strong message about speaking up. I am using Tarot de Carlotydes and in this deck the 7 of Swords is depicted as a sword swallower. Which I always interpret as "swallowing" the truth. Then as I was focusing on this group's image, I realized the cabinet behind her is full of skulls, reminding me of "skeletons in the closet." Then finally we have a literal Mute card:

The Mute is told what to hear, say and think and is often suppressed. Sometimes breaking the chains against heeded words may be rewarded.

So you currently may be the complete opposite of your DF energy. One of the keywords for the Mute is "insecurities." I feel like a lot of you are sleeping on yourselves. 🔊AND ITS TIME TO WAKE THE F UP!

Maybe you are trapped in your light feminine energy. I say trapped because it feels like you are forced into that box. Super passive, loss of control. Where your DF energy would insist on speaking up and standing out, you may just keep your head down and avoid any trouble.

I'm hearing specifically that some of you love writing poetry but may have someone who discourages you from pursuing this interest. You may want to present your poetry to an audience and they tell you that no one wants to hear what you have to say. For others, they are saying no one wants to hear from you about something else.

If you are used to toxic and restrictive connections or friendships, you are being called to step out of that. Get used to asserting your boundaries, "do not speak down about my hobbies," "if you cannot allow me to think for myself, then we can not continue our relationship." I think you definitely have it in you.

Another keyword listed is "hope." I think some of you may enjoy singleness and being single-mindedly focused on you and your goals, more fulfilling than you think. It can be healing to finally feel like the star of your show.

TL;DR: Your DF energy definitely has a bit of edge to her. She does what she has to do to move ahead and she prefers to fly solo. Even if that is not where you are right now, this energy already exists within you. Once you drop the dead weight--be it toxic family, toxic friends, or a toxic partner--you will see how quickly you flourish. You have every right to speak your truth and protect your peace. Its time to peel yourself off the wallpaper and start standing out and speaking up!

Pile 2

Off the bat: I wasn't getting anything with this group. I found that strange and wondered if I wasn't "tuned in." I think this represents your mental space when you are in your DF energy. You are clear minded and have a "sober" outlook. Maybe some of you are literally sober or are considering it.

4-Card Spread: 2 of Clubs, Queen of Spades, 8 of Spades (R), Ace of Hearts/7 of diamonds. Bottom of deck is 9 of diamonds.

I am very strongly getting that there is something noteworthy about your DF's decision making abilities. Maybe that sounds "boring," but its actually pretty admirable! The world often sends the message that feminine energy does not possess strong cognitive abilities. When feminines contradict this stereotype, they can be labeled as "cold," "mean," "masculine," or met with hostility.

I'm honestly getting that the DF in you does not care. You may naturally lean more to this side in every day life. Or this is where you could be if you tapped into your DF energy more often.

You make clear decisions and keep it moving. You do not allow your thoughts to keep you tangled up in a web of confusion and indecision. Some of you could be really good at chess. I am getting that kind of energy. Calculated, self-assured, and making decisions with no intentions of taking it back.

You are quite comfortable standing on your own, and pouring into your own little world. I get the image of a woman who lives on a quiet estate, walking through her garden, with birds chirping and flying above. Have any of you watched the movie Men (2022)? I loved the imagery in that film and that's kind of the vibe I am getting now. A lot of horse girlies may have picked this pile.

I feel you being very unbothered, above drama. Your DF energy would love to find a masculine that can match your energy. You are good on your own so you won't allow anyone disruptive into your peaceful little domain. You do not make impulsive decisions in love and you are willing to wait for a new opportunity that is worth the investment. With the king of diamonds two cards under the 9 of diamonds, I do feel like this DF energy could pull the kind of masculine you desire.

Your DF energy really shines in STEM related jobs, corporate spaces, or any position that requires a sharp mind.

Advice: Ace of Swords, 10 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Knight of Cups. Bottom of deck is 10 of Wands + Spider (Oracle)

As soon as I pulled the ace of swords, I heard "get used to speaking your truth." I also heard stop entertaining "little boys." I don't think this is in terms of age, I think this referring to the maturity level of masculine energies you may usually deal with. I am in no way encouraging that you pursue anyone older. (Honestly, that does not guarantee emotional maturity or respect. But that's another convo).

I think this message is about the expectations you set for your partners. There is nothing wrong with expecting them to match you. They can either rise to the occasion or be left behind. If you hold this potential inside of you to be a queen of swords, queen of pentacles, and 9 of pentacles. Then I'm sure that energy exists out there in a suitable counterpart. The ten of wands is encouraging you to keep forging forward. I don't like preaching to be "strong" and "endure," but this is different. You are being strong for yourself. If you have to walk alone right now, it gets tough at times, but you are doing it with purpose. It will pay off.

For some this may literally require you to live alone. Its interesting that I keep getting messages about homes. I got a lot of diamonds/pentacles in the last spread, which also can deal with the home and related practical matters. "Home" is one of the keywords for Spider. The Moon is on the bottom of the deck, I think it is also relevant. This is what the guidebook has to say about each:

The Spider traps those who wander into her web. Keywords: Control, Home, Familiarity, Comfort, Trapped, Security. The Moon is not always as she seems. Her delicate glow seeks for hidden truths while blinding others to her own. Keywords: Confusion, Apprehension, Suspicion, Feelings.

You may need to be more discerning when it comes to who you let into your home and/or your heart. You might need to create a little confusion when it comes to what your next move is. Everyone does not deserve your energy or to be held on to.

Spiders can also be associated with anxiety. In regular tarot, I do consider the moon to be a card that can speak about mental health. So some of you may need to make these changes for your own sanity, literally.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a very strong and self-sufficient queen of swords type. She thinks clearly, can make decisions without questioning herself, and always stands on business. She has high standards for those who come around her because she has built a beautiful life for herself and will vet anyone who wants to join. This self-respect and authenticity helps to attract a suitable mate. One who can match this go-getter, no bs energy. The key to channeling this energy is to start living in it now. Trust your decision making abilities, don't announce or seek validation before you make a necessary personal decision. Staying true to yourself and becoming more independent will pay off.

Pile 3

Off the bat: When I looked at the image for your pile, I immediately heard "I'm not one of those/your little girls." So whew! We are coming in hot! Also hearing "I wish a b---- would."

4-Card Spread: 7 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs, 2 of Clubs, Joker. Bottom of deck is 5 of Hearts.

I am getting more light-hearted energy in this pile than the previous two. Maybe a lot of young, or young-at-heart, people have chosen this pile. This DF energy could easily pull many suitors but she views lovers as more of a "fun time," not so much a "long time." You could also be a little toxic toward lovers. Makeup to breakup, or honestly sometimes its just breakup lol.

This energy is quite fiery and uninhibited. Some of you could be fire signs, specifically Sagittarius. Or I am getting that because of what Sag represents: free spiritedness, adventure, luck. No wonder this DF energy resists being tied down. The world is literally your oyster and you knows it!

This DF energy is also a little scrappy. Have any of you watched the Bad Girls Club? You know how there would be that one person who has a temper, then gets a little too messed up when they go clubbing and ends up wanting to fight everyone... When you see red, people need to clear your path! I do get a bit of a party girl energy which is not surprising considering I was picking up on Sag.

This DF does not have a problem fulfilling her emotional needs. You will always make sure your cup is full. You will always make sure you are having a good time. You realizes that you have this amazing, fortunate energy and unapologetically harnesses it to get the most out of life. I think your DF self is also likely to be single and happy that way. Picking yourself up after disappointments in love is no problem because there are plenty more where they came from. You have an abundant mindset when it comes to love and life.

Advice: Queen of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Swords, 5 of Cups. Bottom of deck is 5 of Swords + Ghost (Oracle)

In order to channel this DF energy, some of you may literally have to ghost someone. I am not surprised the energy of having to cut people off has been coming up. Sometimes the company we keep can really hinder our growth and self-expression. The hanged man is about surrender and next to the ace of swords, I sometimes see this combo as maintaining no contact. Ghost could also be taken literally.

But I think Ghost is also talking about a tendency toward self sabotaging and shrinking yourself. This is the total opposite of the DF energy that I just channeled. Its like the past and your insecurities have a tendency to haunt you and keep you stuck. You may also try to make yourself invisible. In the guidebook, the word forgotten repeats itself twice for this card:

The Ghost lingers, forlorn and forgotten. Keywords: Hidden, Mystery, Forgotten, Spiritual Matters, Fears, Faith

You will need to work on your self-confidence. When you are more confident in yourself, you will be more confident in your decision making abilities. You will be more authentic with the way you present yourself to the world because it won't matter whether people approve or disapprove. You know who you are. With the 5 of cups, there could be something that you are still grieving or regretting but you can bounce back from this! Channel your inner phoenix and allow yourself to blossom. Its time to reinvent yourself!

Be open to all the great things life has to offer you. Guided meditations for gratitude and self-confidence/self-love could be very beneficial. Trust that the flow of life is always leading you to something wonderful. Trust that you are allowed to call the shots in your reality. Do your part then trust and let go.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is very spicy! She is popular and free-spirited. She knows that life has so many different adventures to offer and she does not let anything stop her from exploring them. This DF is likely to be single or somewhat noncommittal. She does not mind flying solo and knows she can always find another mate. She is also quite lucky and manifests fortunate events with ease. To channel this energy you will need to drop any dead weight and increase your confidence in yourself and your decision making abilities. You could benefit from some form of self-help resources like books and guided meditations. And if it is accessible to you, therapy, support groups, or other resources that will help your create a stronger you.

Pile 4

Off the bat: I am getting a pretty serious energy. Some domme energy or you could just be a pretty dominant woman. This could be describing you or your DF energy. I keep hearing strawberries and champagne. Is that even a real thing? I've never met anyone who enjoyed that combo.

4-Card Spread: 4 of Clubs, Jack of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, and Ace of Spades. Bottom of deck is Queen of Spades

I am still getting some of that super assertive and stern feminine energy. I could see your DF self working being a principal. I am also hearing headmaster/headmistress. I think she would love working with children but not in the traditional, mushy-gushy light feminine way. Its more of a "I have/enforce rules because I love you" type of energy . You believe in structure and order. If this isn't working with children, this could also apply to raising children. I could also see this DF running an orphanage. I did hear "rule the roost" while I was shuffling, so no matter how this resonates, you definitely are not afraid to lead.

You are generous and wise. Beneath the stern exterior is a lot of love and compassion. Your soft spots are not visible until you take a closer look at what you invest your time and energy into. This kind of energy could also attract less mature suitors, because it intimidates them yet they are so infatuated. You carry yourself with grace and probably won't entertain them. You are much more suited to be their mentor than anything.

Going back to the original domme energy I was getting. You may actually prefer partnerships that allow you to wear the pants. You don't really want a masculine energy coming in and dictating to you. You can run your own life just fine and would rather partner up with someone who can understand that. I don't think you want someone that is "weak" either, its more like you desire the cliche of the masculine that calls the shots in the board room but is more submissive/passive at home. They are secure enough to be with a feminine energy as strong as them.

Some of you as DF would be comfortable living a "nontraditional" life. Nontraditional as far as feminine energy is concerned anyway. You may prefer live-in partners, or life partners, over traditional marriage. You could identify with being poly or something similar. You would love to travel and always seek to broaden your horizons. This is the type of person you would expect to have "summer homes." You could also decide to not have children or you would want to wait on having/adopting children. You love living authentically because of how freeing it is to just be you. You don't care what outsiders think of your life because you know you are doing what works best for you.

Advice: 3 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, Queen of Wands (R). Bottom of deck is The Devil + Soil (Oracle)

To channel this DF energy more, you will need to master the art of not giving a shit. Some of you could be currently suppressing this energy. I really don't think its that far out of reach for all of you. Its just your fear that is keeping you trapped.

For some of you this trapped feeling is because you are in the closet. I am not telling you to come out because I don't know how that would impact your life. I want you to stay safe! However, maybe you can seek out queer friendly spaces. Or spaces that are supportive of whatever group you identify with.

There could also be a heartbreak that has left you questioning yourself. In the Tarot de Carlotydes, the 9 of swords is depicted as a woman chained in a dark room, with a flower in her hand and broken heart drawn on a piece of paper. I always see this card as being tortured over a disappointment. In this particular deck, I see as a mental prison that you feel trapped in because you are clinging to and rehashing an event. Holding onto this event keeps the pain fresh or recurring. It is time to release it.

Do not internalize other people's actions and shortcomings. It is not a reflection of you. You are who you decide to be. Do not dim your shine for anyone. Do not stunt your growth either. I'm not sure what it is that is holding you back but you have the potential to be the brightest star! You can be strong, and confident, and assertive. There is this little ball of power inside of you, that can grow if you allow it. Soil echoes the same message I am seeing in tarot. You must let yourself bloom:

The soil is a conduit of both growth and decay. Eyes forward, rooted to the past and reaching to the skies, she'll grow. Keywords: Balance, Forward, Growth, Duty, Building.

Some of you may use less than healthy tactics to cope. Maybe you should think of yourself like a plant. What are you fertilizing your soil with? What are you using for watering? Put the best in, get the best out.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a L-E-A-D-E-R, okay?! She calls the shots in every area of her life. Some suitors are attracted to her because their immaturity is infatuated with her self-assured, mature energy. However, she prefers an equally strong partner at her side but this does not mean she wants to be led. No, she wants someone that respects her as an equal but allows her to take the lead. She lives life on her terms, loves on her terms, and does not care what anyone else thinks of that. She does have a soft spot but that is not for everyone. This nurturing energy could be channeled into working with children in some capacity. In order to step into this energy, you will have to untether yourself from insecurity and heartbreak. You already have this power inside of you, its only a matter of letting it grow. You don't have to deny what you have been through or the way it impacts you, but it also does not have to hold you back. Replace your unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones.

As previously stated, I have a planned post that will expand on my views about feminine energy and other spiritual topics. I am really looking forward to sharing my thoughts and hope you all will chime in! I would love to start a discussion.

Until then ❤

~ K

#pick a card #intuitive readings #spirituality #tarot reading #oracle reading #pick a pile #tarot #oracle cards #tarot community #hecate #goddess lilith #dark feminine energy #spiritual awakening #shadow work #divine feminine #feminine energy

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hiraethwa · 11 months ago

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one summer day

02 fly high. where you have yet to realize what ushijima will mean to you.

<< 01 clear skies. | >> 03 shining light.

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader a/n: double post this week, I'm feeling like i need some motivation to keep going. i wrote this a while ago, and am super excited with how this part ends, but i still feel like the flow isn’t the best here… word count: 1.4k warnings: some angst if you squint terms: furoshiki -- cloth that is used to wrap bento

june, first year

“curry rice!” you grin at the ash blonde haired boy, plopping a neatly wrapped bento on his desk as you slide into the seat in front of him. ever since your brother introduced you to him, he has become a constant in your everyday school life to the point that the two of you are almost inseparable.

“are you coming over after practice again? we have that japanese homework that i need your help with” you shrug off your jacket, sweat sticking to your skin from the walk to school. summer is coming on quickly now, coaxing the spring blossoms that you loved so much away.

semi hums in agreement as he unties the furoshiki and opens the bento excitedly. “it smells amazing, y/n! i am hungry thinking about it now even though i had breakfast.” he pouts at you.

you laugh wholeheartedly, feeling something like satisfaction. it is one thing to have your family compliment your cooking, another to hear such sincere praises from your friends. you think this might just be it. high school might be better than you thought after all. after all the disappointments and heartbreaks from junior high and even before that.

“thanks, eita. now keep it before you make the whole class hungry.” you poke fun at him as you pull out another set of wrapped bento, this one in plain cat print. it was the plainest, non-feminine-screaming furoshiki you could find after the one with crashing waves that you wrapped semi’s bento in.

you didn’t normally bring bentos to school since both your parents are always busy with work. even this furoshiki is a recent addition after you graduated from junior high, when you started packing some meals for yourself.

“so, you remember how ushijima-san helped me with my wound a few days ago?” you sound hesitant even to yourself. inside, you wanted to kick yourself for following through with this now that you are actually in the process of it, but it is too late. so you might as well get it over with. “i made an extra portion for him to thank him for his help… could you pass it to him at practice?”

“ehhh, why does he get one too? i have known you for two months now and it’s only my first time receiving a bento from you.”

you roll your eyes at the boy. “if you help me, i will make you a strawberry shortcake.” bribing him is easy when you knew he enjoyed the cake you shared last week. you breathe a sigh of relief when he does not pursue the topic any further.

semi is quite the competitive persona, so it did not surprise you when that was the tangent he went off in, instead of the typical, do you like him? that other people would assume. this is good for you. you do not want him to misunderstand your intentions, and it’s not like you harbor those feelings for ushijima. you just strongly dislike the feeling of being in anyone’s debt.

“how is practice for interhigh matches going anyway?” you smile at your newfound friend who you got along with as naturally as breathing.

yes, high school will be different. i will see it so.

it is pouring outside later that afternoon regardless of how clear the skies were when you walked to school in the morning. the sound of volleyball practice fades into the background as you pull out a blank music sheet and start scribbling the tune that has been rattling around your head today.

today, when you climbed the stairs to the gymnasium and watched the practice match your school is playing against the college team that came in, you had expected to experiment with the melody when you get home later. you note that the usual starting lineup were on court, with the exception of one of the wingspikers being subbed out for ushijima. even though he is just a new first year. perhaps this is the lineup that the coach has in mind for the interhigh tournament, you had thought.

and even though you have seen countless of your brother’s matches over the years, this one felt different. the spiking form of the player as he begins his approach, swinging both arms backwards before leaving the ground, feet kicked out behind him, and making contact with the ball with his left hand, sending it back into the opponent’s courtside, felt different.

it had felt like you were given wings to soar high above the clouds when all life did was cover up the blue skies that you loved so much. it had felt like coming up for a full breath of fresh air after being dunked in water. it had felt like you were alive again, for once in a very long time.

and the melody that you had been crafting takes on a life of its own, taking its first flight from your hands and rise high up into the sky. twisting, turning. triumphant. the notes flow onto the sheet as your hand struggles to keep up with your mind.

before you know it, you hear semi calling your name from the court. eh, the match is over? you glance at your watch, showing two hours after when you arrived at the court. “yes! be right there!” you yell back, swinging your belongings onto your shoulder and making your way downstairs.

music sheet in hand, mind far ahead of yourself, wanting to play it on your violin already, you venture to find your friend. semi is standing at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed while waiting for you. “were you paying any attention to the game, y/n?”

“what– take a look at this first,” you shove the paper in his hands, excitedly waiting for his response. one could say one of the reasons you two got along so well is your love for music.

he takes his sweet time reading your rough draft and giving you a “hmph” before returning it to you. “fine, i forgive you for missing my set. this is an acceptable excuse, i suppose. it is no small feat to overcome a creative block.”

semi shoots you a mischievous smile before slinging his arm over your shoulders and messing your hair up with his other hand. “SEMI”

“well done! but no next time though” “no promises”

another voice cuts through the air, stopping both of you from making a bigger scene. you had resorted to trying to make his hair stick up vertically as revenge.

“miyamura-san…” ushjima holds out the cat clothed bento to you, slightly amused by you and semi. “thanks for the curry rice, it was delicious.”

“waa, a compliment from ushijima-san, your cooking must have been amazing, miyamura-san,” a red-haired boy pokes his head out from behind ushijima, whom you would later learn is none other than tendo satori, a troublesome boy who always seemed to be able to see through you.

you beam at his compliment, “heh, thanks guys.” swinging your bag to the front, you shuffle the things around in your bag to make space for the box. he had neatly tied the furoshiki around the box, which caught you by surprise, as semi had returned his to you in a clumsily packed fashion. you surmise that the rising ace in front of you is an athlete who probably likes to keep his life neat and in order, he seems like the type.

“so what are you up to later, semi-semi?”

“ah, i am going to y/n’s to study”

“can i come with? i have nothing else to do.”

“no! if you’re so free you can practice more volleyball.”

semi banters with the red-haired boy, which sounds like a regular occasion to you. you chuckle to yourself, picturing ushijima, the stoic spiker, playing the referee between the two boys. now that would be entertaining to watch.

your eyes meet ushijima’s, to which he raises his eyebrow at you as if he’s saying what’s so funny? you shrug, feigning innocence before turning away from him.

neither of you realized it at the time, but ushijima gave you wings to fly, even before you really knew each other.

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stormblessed95 · 4 months ago

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So I just had some thoughts about the minimoni exchange that I really needed to share - their relationship is so cute. There was one thing that I'm confused about and I wanted to know if it was just me lol, and that's the narrative Jimin was telling about how Muse came about. That Pdogg asked him what his thoughts are, and Jimin said he's been feeling a lot of apathy lately (I'm paraphrasing here cause I can't remember the words!).

Then he went straight into talking about how the album is about having a crush, but he said he can't remember the last time he had a crush. And he had to have help from a younger producer to talk about what a crush was like. He didn't really go into why he wrote an album about having a crush when he said he can't remember the last time, just that he's been feeling not much excitement lately. He even explained this albums emotions as "vague." If I could go into depth about it, my interpretation (could be completely wrong) is that it's an explanation of coming to terms with his sexuality, that the expectation that he fall in love with women but no matter how many relationships with women he's had he just can't find the one. Until JK comes along....

Sorry my thoughts are all over the place 😂😂. I just wanted to know if someone also found it confusing or it's just my ADHD brain!

Hello my love! I'm probably going to use your ask to talk about Muse as a whole I think. Hope that's okay ❤️ I'll make other posts for the songs individually if I have more I want to say in depth about specific songs.... Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and theories too! I love them!

My thoughts and feelings about Muse as a whole below the photo 💜 disclaimer that these are just my thoughts and opinions. I am in no way claiming this as fact or truth and unless I'm quoting something, these are all my own words. Everyone is entitled to agree or disagree as they see fit.

This will be a longer post.... So strap in I guess!

SO! To start, Pdogg shared with us that Jimins album/SMGB was in part inspired by the Beatles conceptual album "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." He said, and I quote:

"It was inspired by a conceptual album like the Beatles' 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.' And I tried to incorporate the excitement I felt when thinking of Muse into the songs. The flow of emotions is directly reflected in the track order, so it will be more fun if you focus on that."

Intro: Rebirth and Interlude: Showtime is what gives that connection and crossover from FACE, with its sound and chorus use, into the new concept and album I believe. Which Jimin has explicitly stated that Muse is not connected with FACE really at all. But that does give its connection and crossover from those first 2 songs. So you could EASILY listen to them back to back and find it flows smoothly from one sound into another!

Face is clearly about introspection, facing oneself, that vulnerability and overcoming that pain. It's about freeing yourself. Muse seems to be conceptually about finally feeling free enough to pursue that prospect of love and being open to those feelings. It was brought up by Minseong Kim, his performance director, in VMagazine that (I'm paraphrasing) they basically were focusing more on his masculine side and expressions for Who and in Muse. While in Face, Jimin showcased more of his vulnerabilities and his more feminine side and expressions. Specifically seeking out that contrast. Full interview here:

Now I don't know about you ... But it's giving gender. And I love that. It's not something new for Jimin, he leans into that contrast within himself alot. It's really giving gender fluidity. And I think that's on purpose. Jimin doesn't do things by accident. He thinks through everything and Jimin is in charge at the end for his projects. And considering how OFTEN this concept of *both*, of feminine and masculine, comes up in Jimins personal projects/stages, it's clearly something important to him that he wants to be highlighted.

Jimin absolutely had full control over the stories he wanted to tell in each song, even Who, where he didn't have full writing credits. He explained the thoughts, feelings and ideas he was wanting to express. We saw him in the behind scenes of things having direct input on his songs, the MV, and creating his own choreo. The Talent 😍 we were specifically told that Jimin "directly explained to them what he wanted to convey and the direction he wanted to take for this album and each song. This allowed us to put together tracks that are more musically diverse, but still feel right for him." Quote comes from an interview article from the Clash here

Similarly shared in another article, Pdogg said "We made it with Jon Bellion in New York. I remember Jimin personally explaining to him what story he wanted to tell, and he was really embarrassed/shy. I met Jimmy Fallon by chance in the studio next door. We played the song for him for the first time after we finished working on it. In fact After finishing work on the 'FACE' album, we went straight into the production of 'MUSE' and I thought, 'He's working this hard before his military enlistment?' Thanks to Jimin's hard work, you'll be able to see his musical journey, which has grown even more." From here

Okay, now that we got all those interview snippets out of the way from Jimins team.... We can get into more of Jimins words and my own thoughts/theories here too.... 😏🥰 But we like to work theories off facts, so we gotta get our base line!

youtube

Jimin finished recording his album in June of 2023.

Jimin stated in MMM that the first 5 songs in his album were basically the emotions related to having a crush and confessing your feelings. That would be:

Intro: Rebirth

Interlude: Showtime

SGMB

Slow Dance

Be Mine

And then the 6th track, Who, he takes it all back and is like no, that's not really true. Where he also lets us know that there really isn't a connection to FACE in the grand scheme of things.

To start with the title too.... Who are the Muses? The Greek Goddesses of artistic inspiration. Jimin has been drawing from Greek Mythology a lot recently, with Apollo and Artemis featuring in his photofolio too. Now while the basics premise of a Muse is and can be very romantic in nature, it isn't always. Jimins album Muse is inherently full of romantic songs, but I also think it's clear from his talk on MMM that this album is not JUST about looking for your run of the mill, romantic relationship and love.... But being in search of your passion, your heart and your desires. It's the expression of yearning. Yearning for love, for life, for his music, his work, his Identity as a person and an artist, to feel excited over something and look forward to something. He specially says to RM during MMM that he isn't sure if he will ever be satisfied with himself as an artist or find a version of himself that he is fully satisfied with (I'm paraphrasing). It's the idea that this search for his Muse (that satisfaction in himself and as an artist) is ongoing and probably will FOREVER be ongoing. Hence why in the end of the Who MV, after all that back and forth with so many people.... He is still alone. That search is still happening. Hence also why this desperate search of who his heart is waiting for is at the end of the album, not opening it up. He still hasn't found her, the Muses. His satisfaction. The yearning that is driving him forward to grow and learn and adapt and dig deeper into his art, is still there.

Jimin has a lot of control over his projects. His albums, songs, and performances. As he should. But it's important for everyone to remember that this album starts and finishes with JIMIN. And what he wants to say and express, this is his art, his emotions and his ideas, regardless of if he has help writing lyrics or not. To bring this back to my last paragraph above.... Passion as an artist is something plenty of people can relate to, but not everyone. Romance on the other hand is something *almost* everyone CAN relate to. And bringing those feelings of yearning and desire for passion and excitement and translating that into feelings of crushes, first love, romantic connect. Brings that full circle and is the outward Expression he chose to help represent the emotions and feelings he was trying to express through this album. I think it's also important to note that while Jimin expressed his desire for excitement and passion and how he is still looking for that.... He made sure to make it clear that he is happy and content with where he is at and who he is currently. These things can coexist!

Who in general could have some takes and theories about sexuality and what not, like anon said, I've definitely seen a variety of theories out there. I do think Jimin has long since come to terms with his sexuality though, but that doesn't mean that the inspiration from that couldn't still be drawn on. I can talk about that more in a post I make specifically only for Who. Soooo many things could be said for Who! Lol and if you've read this far, look forward to my post for Who and thank you for making it through my ramblings!!

#jimin muse

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ursa-tan · 1 year ago

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Can I have a request for a wally darling x reader where the reader "captures" wally as the villain of the show and has a bit of a dom kink? This is for playfellowxxx and I am 18 years old. Is this ok to request?

You’re mine

Wally Darling x Fem!Villain!Reader

Requested: Yes!

Word count: 3,312 Reading time: ~12 mins

Part 1, Part 2

TW: None

A/N: Honestly this was the first proper request I've gotten and I got really excited to write it! I hope you like it anon! Also, the reader is approximately 6ft tall, just so everyone knows :) Also, I'm really sorry this took so long to put out, have had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life.

Wally awakens, dizzy and almost completely disorientated – just because he can’t sleep doesn’t mean he can’t be knocked out. The world around him seems to spin for a moment as he attempts to orient himself in the darkness. He tries to move his limbs yet finds himself almost unable to move, bar lightly wiggling his body. Soon, Wally comes to realise that his hands are bound behind his back, to the back of a chair. His legs are also bound, rope wrapped around his ankles to hold them together and to hold them to the chair as well.

The room is dark, murky, almost pitch black if it weren’t for the small beam of light piercing through the side of a blind and streaming into the room. It’s just enough to let Wally see what’s happening around him. The room is still around him, not much happening apart from the wind whistling gently through what he can only assume is an open window tucked behind the blind. There are boxes stacked up around the room, pushed to the edges to make way for a desk. The room itself is small, seemingly more of a storage room than anything else.

His concentration on the room is broken when a door opens from somewhere behind him. The sound of the door closing is joined by the clicking of hard bottomed shoes against the wooden floor. He feels fear course through him for a second, jolting him forwards slightly when a hand comes to rest on his shoulder.

“Wally, Darling,” a soft, feminine voice rings out from behind him. Wally already knows exactly who it belongs to. Its full of a sickening joy that causes a pit to open itself up in Wally’s stomach.

“(Y/n),” Wally growls, immediately becoming defensive. The presence of this puppet causes his skin to prickle, making him feel as if his hair is standing on end. “What do you want?” His voice is uncharacteristically sharp and cold, holding a malice that he reserves for when it’s just him and (Y/n).

“Oh, nothing much…” She walks round to his front, crouching down to find herself eye level with the significantly smaller puppet. Wally stares into her eyes, its one of the few times he’s able to do so. “Just thought you looked especially adorable the other day, couldn’t help but want to snatch you up.” Her voice is playful and flirtatious, it doesn’t match the situation in the slightest.

“You just like causing problems, (Y/n).” Wally can’t help but say her name again, something about it feels good in his mouth, feels like its supposed to sit on his lips.

“Ah, maybe I do, but you love me for it,” She chuckles lightly, standing back up and patting his thigh as she does so. The sudden contact makes him shudder, causing his body to jump – practically pressing himself into her palm. It causes her to freeze, only for a moment, leaning down to stare into Wally’s eyes again.

“Do you like that, Darling?” His last name drips from her lips just like it did before, yet this time it sounds so different. Its sticky and sweet and causes his head to spin slightly.

Wally goes to speak, to say something, but the hand on his thigh halts his voice entirely. He’s not entirely sure why, but he can’t think clearly. The hand on his thigh squeezes lightly, a pressure that causes him to shudder. He wants to lean into it, his mind fogging with something he isn’t quite sue of.

“I need to hear a yes Wally, or I’m going to take my hand away.” Her voice pulls him out of his seeming trance, his head snapping upwards. He stares at her, eyes meeting with a desperation that he didn’t know he could feel.

“Yes,” Wally whispers, pupils blowing wide as he stares.

“Good boy,” She chuckles, voice dripping with that same sticky sweetness from before. Her hand squeezes again, trailing up his thigh and towards his hip. It rests there for a moment before trailing back down to his thigh. “You look like you’re enjoying yourself there”

Wally can’t find it in himself to answer, only staring into (Y/n)’s eyes, vision slightly unfocused. He doesn’t understand why his head is so foggy, but he does know that he wants more of her touch. As a result, he does his best to push his thigh up into her hand.

“Oh, you really do seem to be enjoying yourself,” The smile in her voice is obvious, “I’m going to untie you now, ok? But you have to promise not to try and run.” She seems to have an idea that he can’t think of at all.

Wally just nods, the prospect of being untied doesn’t properly occur in his mind, the idea of escape a million miles away at this very second. He feels her fingers trail down his leg, the other hand joining to untie the rope binding his ankles together. It takes her a few moments of tugging before the rope comes undone, becoming slack and falling to the floor in loose rings. Wally takes a moment to part his legs, stretching them out before returning them to their previous position.

“Good boy, you’re so good for me,” she hums, both hands returning to his thighs, giving them both a squeeze. Her hands are so big, Wally’s sure that she could wrap her hand entirely around his thigh if she wanted to. He wants her to, at least. The words make Wally feel like he’s melting, becoming absolute putty in (Y/n)’s hands.

He melts more when (Y/n) moves behind him, hands coming to his bound wrists and starting to undo them. She’s much softer this time, fingers brushing the bare skin of his wrists as she undoes the ropes. After a few seconds, Wally feels the rope unravel and drop to the floor, yet he doesn’t move. Not even as (Y/n)’s hands begin to trail up his arms, eventually coming to rest on his shoulders, lightly brushing his neck. She stays there for a moment, gently kneading his shoulders, holding him like he’s made of glass. Then, suddenly, her hands are on his face, forcing it backwards so she can stare into his eyes.

“Hi, sweet thing,” she hums, her hands gripping his face rather harshly, forcing him to stay still. She could’ve let go as soon as she tilted his head back, however, Wally wasn’t going to attempt moving. “You look so pretty like this, pupils blown all wide.” She eases up her grip, now stroking his face.

Wally lets out a short sound, something next to a whimper. He can’t tear his eyes away form (Y/n)’s. Her eyes seem to sparkle with something that only serves to draw him in. Like the lore of an anglerfish, he was walking straight into the jaws of danger, yet he couldn’t look away.

(Y/n) tilts his head forwards again, so that she can lean forwards and place her hands on his thighs. They begin to move, one trailing up and under his jumper, under his shirt, splaying across his stomach. Her finger are so warm as they press against Wally’s bare skin. The warmth from her hands bubbled up through his body until it forces a short, soft moan from his lips.

Wally, unable to look into (Y/n)’s eyes from this angle, decides he doesn’t need to keep his eyes open and so let himself relax into the sensations. Eyes fluttering shut, Wally presses himself against her hands, one of his own reaching up to hold onto her bicep. He continues to let out soft moans as (Y/n)’s hands reach up and towards his chest, dancing her fingers delicately across his skin. He finds himself completely unable to focus on anything but the hand on his chest. Until, that is, (Y/n)’s other hand moves to his inner thigh.

It rests rather high up, nearly brushing against his clothed crotch, snapping him out of his earlier fog. The sensation causes Wally to gasp, attempting to buck his hips into her hand without even thinking – its nothing but an involuntary action. He’s desperate for her touch.

(Y/n) chuckles, it’s a sick, sardonic sound that Wally still loves none the less. In fact, he wants to hear it more. More of her voice, more of her. She pulls her hands from his body at the same time, an action that makes him whimper and squirm; but he doesn’t move, he wouldn’t dare.

Footsteps ring out once again as (Y/n) walks round and stops in front of the smaller puppet, crouching down at an attempt to be eye level with him. It doesn’t work, however, as she ends up about chest height, looking up into his blown-out pupils.

“Hey, pretty thing,” She hums, a hand coming up to cup his cheek. “You enjoying yourself?” Everything about her feels like a trap, yet Wally can’t help but lean in. If he gets snatched up and captured, its worth it, as long as it’s her.

“Yes,” Wally murmurs, eyes half lidded as he leans into her palm. He reaches up, one hand coming to rest on top of hers while the other holds her wrist. “Yes… So much…”

“My good boy.” She smirks as she speaks, her voice flirty and now dripping with lust. (Y/n) pulls her hand away as she stands up, and Wally can’t help but reach out for her as she moves away. He’s desperate to have her back against his skin.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m not leaving,” She bends over, now actually being eye level with him, “get up for me, will you doll?”

Wally nods, scrambling to get himself out of the chair. (Y/n) has to take a step back as he hurries to stand so he doesn’t knock his head against hers. As soon as he’s on his feet, Wally is standing as tall as he can in front of her – something drives him to try and impress her.

“Oh baby, relax,” Her voice is sugar coated as she leans in, beginning to unbutton his cardigan. “There’s no need to be so tense.” She pulls his cardigan off, throwing it somewhere behind him. Part of him hopes it landed on the chair he had been sat on, he didn’t want it to get dirty, yet he also didn’t care.

His shirt came off next, being given the same treatment as his cardigan. Wally ignores the sound of it hitting the floor in favour of reaching up to start undoing his ascot. However, he doesn’t get far before (Y/n)’s hands are on his, pulling them away from his neck.

“Oh no you don’t,” she hums, holding his hands to her chest, cupping them near her collar bones, “that looks so cute on you, I want you to keep it on.”

“Ok…” Wally’s voice comes out as delicate whisper. His hands feel so small in hers, so warm and completely encapsulated.

“Good boy,” She mumbles, dropping his hands and gripping his hips instead and tugging him forwards. Her hands quickly begin work on the button on his trousers, popping it with one hand and using the other to undo the zip. (Y/n) has his trousers on the floor in seconds.

“Actually…” (Y/n) pauses for a second before reaching up, leaving Wally’s painfully hard and still in his boxers. Her hands come back to his ascot and tug at it, pulling it off. The red silk glistens lightly in the soft glow from the sun, laying in her hands.

“Eyes or hands?” She asks, suddenly making eye contact with Wally. He finds himself unable to answer, only able to stare into the perfection that is (Y/n)’s eyes.

“Wally, I’m only going to ask once more. Eyes or hands?” She snaps her fingers in front of his face, brining him back to reality far to fast for his liking.

“Eyes?” Wally mumbles, hesitating a moment before speaking. He’s unsure of what she means, and despite everything that she’d done in the past, he trusts her.

(Y/n) doesn’t answer, only reaching with the ascot in her hands. He isn’t given a chance to react before the red silk is being wrapped round his eyes, obscuring his vision entirely. Wally finds himself deprived of his favourite sense, the one he treasures more than anything else in the world – it should scare him… and yet it doesn’t.

(Y/n)’s hands are back on his hips within seconds of his eyes being covered, this time tugging at the waist band of his boxers. They’re pulled down to around his mid-thigh, freeing his erection and causing him to gasp in both shock and relief. Wally can feel her hands on his thighs, still holding the fabric of his underwear. Although that doesn’t last long, as she tugs them the rest of the way down, leaving them pooled around his ankles much like his trousers.

“Step forwards baby,” She says, holding his hips and guiding him as he takes a step. He’s now completely nude, exposed to her and unable to see anything. His heart is racing yet he wouldn’t change a single thing about what’s going on.

The smaller puppet lets out a yelp as he feels his feet leave the floor. Although he doesn’t flail or worry, as (Y/n)’s hands on his hips hold him steady. He can feel her shifting, but doesn’t know what’s going on until the underneath of his thighs meet her shoulders. He can feel her hair tickling his inner thighs, the wispy strands painting feather soft patterns into the soft, sensitive flesh.

Suddenly, the flat of her tongue is pressing against the underside of his cock. Its warm and wet and has him bucking his hips upwards blindly. He feels (Y/n)’s hands slide up his back, supporting him and holding him against her. Wally leans back into her warm palms for a moment, relaxing just for a second. It is only a second thought, her tongue is back on him, sliding from the base of the shaft to half way up before pulling away and repeating the pattern.

“(Y/n)…” Wally mumbles. This time, its his turn for his voice to drip with lust thick as honey. He reaches down, fingers fumbling to intertwine themself with her hair. Struggling for a moment, Wally finally gets his hands comfortably in her hair, holding the back of her head for support. He defiantly needs it as (Y/n) pulls away, adjusting her head to slip the tip of his cock into her mouth.

Wally bucks his hips forwards, desperate to feel the warmth of her lips around the base of his cock. He partially expects (Y/n) to pull her head away, to scold him for the action – but she doesn’t. Instead, she pushes her head forwards, taking his entire length in one go. It happens so fast that Wally feels himself hit the back of her throat. (Y/n) doesn’t gag.

The warm wetness of her tongue begins to lap at the underside of his cock once more. It’s a sensation that has Wally letting out moans, sounds that bubble up from his chest and spill past his lip. They’re completely uncontrolled sounds, slipping past his lips in the same way foam bubbles out of a soda bottle.

Wally can already feel himself reaching an end. Something about the way she moved, the way she treated him, was driving him towards an edge much faster than he would like to admit. It doesn’t help that he can’t see, that he’s been deprived of his most vital sense.

“(Y/n)-“ he rasps, gripping her hair and tensing his thighs to squish her head slightly. He feels his stomach muscles tense up, causing him to curl forward, around her head.

The taller puppet only hums in response, starting to bob her head. Deliciously slick sounds fill the room. (Y/n)’s hands pressing into Wally’s back to pull him closer, keeping him in place as her tong laves at his shaft. She doesn’t stop her movements or change her pace, continuing to bob her head slightly and swirl her tongue at the pace she had already set.

“I’m- I’m- (Y/n)- I’m-“ Wally can’t splutter out much more than the first word of the sentence that he’s desperately trying to string together. (Y/n)’s pace is driving his towards an edge that he doesn’t want to fall off of – if he does, this ends. Wally is desperate for it not to end.

His hands don’t move from their spot, finding a perfect purchase scrunched up in her hair, holding the back of his head. His hips, however, begin to falter and buck forwards as if they have a mind of their own. Both his body and mind are senselessly chasing pleasure, but only his body wants to reach the finale. And it does.

Wally tenses up fully as he finally reaches his peak, thighs clenching around (Y/n)’s head. His arms pull in tight, hips pushing forwards as he desperately tries to push himself as far down (Y/n)’s throat as possible. He manages to push until he’s hitting the back of her throat, his tip touching the soft warmth in a way that has his whimpering and pleading for more.

The smaller puppet finally spills himself into her mouth, painting her throat white and filling her mouth with a slightly bitter taste. (Y/n) doesn’t recoil though, instead swirling her tongue around his length and continuing to bob her head to the best of her abilities. Wally feels like she’s trying to pull out everything he’s got.

“A-Ah!” he yelps, the sensation suddenly becoming entirely too much. Wally is whimpering, trying to pull away, wordlessly pleading for her to stop.

Eventually, (Y/n) does, pulling away from him and letting him fall from her saliva coated lips. She keeps Wally sat on her shoulders, looking up at him through thick eyelashes, eyes sparkling with mischief in what little light there is in the room.

“Too much baby?~” She purrs, voice still filled with lust.

Wally can only nod, letting out another pathetic sound as he does.

“Oh, you poor thing… Come here,” She mumbles, shifting his position until he’s got his legs wrapped around her waist. Her tone is so much softer now, as is her touch, as she comes to gently cradle his shaking body against hers. She holds him so easily, her much larger hands supporting under his ass and against his back.

“Would you like a bath darling?” (Y/n)’s voice is right next to his ear as she speaks. It’s accompanied by feather light kisses full of love. Her hands are so warm, radiating outwards and into him in a way that almost has him falling asleep where he is. Wally shakes his head. All he wants now is to curl up and sleep.

“Ok then,” she pauses again to kiss the top of his head, something she can do now thanks to his pompadour falling apart, “What about something to eat? Or drink?” Her questions are so gentle, they don’t really need answers.

Wally shakes his head once again, burying his face in (Y/n)’s neck. Her skin is so soft, he can’t help but relax against her. Although that relaxing is interrupted for a moment when (Y/n) pulls the ascot free from his eyes, discarding it somewhere on the floor. Its most likely piles up with the rest of his discarded clothes.

She continues to hold him tight against her body as she walks. Wally is far too drowsy to pay attention to where they’re going. But he takes not of it - a few short steps and a turn to the left.

Suddenly, (Y/n) is shifting the blue haired puppet. He’s sitting in her lap, partially straddling her thighs with his head resting against her chest. (Y/n) in mostly laying down, hands resting on Wally’s back, providing a pleasing weight.

(Y/n) doesn’t say anything as she begins to stroke Wally’s hair, placing many short kisses on top of his head. He can slowly feel his grip on consciousness loosening. He knows he isn’t going to fall asleep, but he’s not going to be awake anymore.

“I’ve got you, baby,” (Y/n) mumbles. It’s the last thing Wally hears before the world slips away from him.

#fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #playfellowxxx #request #requested #smut #I was so excited to write this #antagonist x protagonist

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yanderesimp2000 · 8 months ago

Text

Yandere Adam x fem reader chapter 4/6 'This is for your own good" MINORS STAY AWAY

GONNA DO 6 INSTEAD OF 5 CHAPTERS SO THIS IS Chapter 4/6 baby been out of ideas for a little bit but then I got one what is it keep fucking reading ya lazy fuck

TW,NON-CON TO CON, Brainwashed reader, reader has had their mind broken, reader breaks out of their mind control, EXTREME POSSESSIVENESS, Adam being an incel as usual, degradation, smut,Light violence, Abuse then comfort, Adam being a delusion prick, and reader pushing their limits

MY REQUEST ARE OPEN SO PLEASE REQUEST ME

BTW TO CLEAR THINGS UP MY PRONOUNS ARE SHE/THEY

After that lovely night with Adam you woke up alone in the bed he was in the shower so in the mean time you should make him breakfast you don't wanna make him mad right? You walked downstairs into the Kitchen were you went and made Adams favorite breakfast Pancake breakfast sandwich 2 pancakes with eggs,bacon,cheese, and sausage in between. He was always so happy when you made them and when he was happy something in your brain just turned into mush for him trying so hard to please him

you heard him come out the shower as he got dressed and when he smelled that your were cooking he yelled "LETS FUCKING GO THANKS BABE" he said before practically falling done the stairs to come get the food he basically ate it in one bite barley even chewing like a rapid animal he then stretched and said "thanks bitch" you got used to his mean words by for some reason your brain didn't think of it as hate just you were the one that failed him and you should be ashamed of yourself and do better. he then plopped himself done on the couch and said " what to do what to do hey what do you wanna do babe" you mind raced with excitement at him giving you the slightest bit of free will thinking of all the possibility you said you wanted to go to that new big park by the beach in the Chasity region

He yawned again and said "wow for once you had a good idea, don't take this as mean or anything but your not the best decision maker your a good housewife though like any proper women" this tone of misogyny should of made you upset but for some reason at first you were upset but something just washed it all away and you just again thought he was correct.

He then mockingly told you "your not going out in that outfit" he laughed referring to your clothes they were just pajamas and you agreed he could go out with his precious wittle trophey if shes ugly no no no she has to look marketable and good yes that's much better. He walks you over to the closet where he picks out different outfits until after a couple minutes of shuffling he finally finds one he likes its a

knee-length dress with a gently cinched waist that accentuates your feminine figure. The fabric is a soft, flowing chiffon in a delicate pastel shade, a pale lavender. The bodice features a subtle sweetheart neckline adorned with intricate lace detailing, adding a touch of romanticism to the design. you felt so nice in the dress and Adam agreed "damn I really did splurge on all these dresses but playing dress up with you sure is fun your like my little doll for me to play with and dress up to my pleasing" he teased

adam put on his normal robe before saying "welp guess its time to go" before you two walked out the door together into the streets of heaven the flight their was relaxing he was carrying you because he didn't want you do get tired and seeing heaven from that high up was just so nice but when you finally made it to the park you could see why it was so good The sound of waves crashing against the shore provides a soothing soundtrack to the park's ambiance, creating a sense of harmony with nature. Seagulls soar overhead, their cries blending harmoniously with the rhythmic lull of the ocean Adam seemed surprised and said "nicer then I expected you chose a good place I'm not gonna lie" before you two started to walk across the wonderful coast line off the coast of the park you saw the patience borough of heaven it was a small island off the coast of main land heaven which was Chasity,temperance,charity and diligence boroughs you saw the view of the skyline and you just watched it you decided to say "hey can we go over there" you said in a soft tone Adam sighed and said "not right now babe its to far of a flight for today

something in you snapped it wasn't you usual self you started to see a hint of rebellion in your mind you got angry and said "no I want to go NOW" you said starting to get angry Adam was surprised but brushed it off "come on dont be such a fucking brat we can do it tomorrow you started to yell "NO NO NO TODAY" then something broke inside of you and you just started to fly there to the borough this infuriated adam and he quickly flew after you catching up to you trapped you against his body he started to fly back to his house at a speed you could of never imagined it felt like only 3 minutes before you were in the door after taking off.

Adam SLAMS the door behind him and say's "you've been a bad GIRL A VERY BAD GIRL" you've never seen him this way he then said "how to punish you how to punish you ahh I got one I'll make sure you don't fly AGAIN until I feel like letting you fly"he said this in a light sadistic tone but he then sighed and said "then I'll put you under my little "spell" again you seemed to partially broken out of it but I can always reapply it, after my old 2 UNGRATEFUL SLUTS left me I've learned how to make people more "reasonable" and you've seems to have broken out of it partially"

he said this with a low coo before grabbing a knife from the counter and saying "cmere" before pinning you down this adrenaline brought back ALL your old memory what happened how he kidnapped you how Abused you it all came flooding back in you winced again and said "GET OFF ME YOU CRAZY PHYCO" Adam just giggled and said "broken out of my spell that's okay I'll just reapply it once I'm done with your wings" all you could think about was how could heaven allow this god, and seraphim they were okay with this one of their first man kidnapping and brainwashing a poor human soul so he could use you to not feel lonely it was all to much and you tried to beg Adam to stop "p-please Adam" you pleaded he looked like a felt a little bad but he seemed to shake it off when he said "this is all for your own good" before slicing off the front half of you right wing

You screamed in pain "Plwease Please s-s-s-s-stop" you pleaded but Adam when and clipped the left wing he used some angel magic to seal up the wounds and stop the pain but you were just left their a whimpering crying mess flapping your now useless wings Adam said "yknow what I'm not even gonna fell bad for you you got this coming this was all on you" he starts to rub his fings in-between your wings "maybe in a couple century's I'll fix your wings IF Im feeling generous I might just keep you like this forever my little peguin my little bird that's YEARNING to be able to fly but no matter how hard you try you just cant" he mocked causing you to sob more "awwwwww don't cry even if it's adorable it hurts my heart" he giggled You sobbed helplessly it felt like the teasing was just relentless you kicked and thrashed but he had a firm grip on you you couldn't escape he said as he stood looking down at you he laughed and said "are you sad don't worry try and fly yeah try and get an inch off the ground you can't oh no you can't you're too your wings that they're too small and too weak now "he laughed sadistically as he said that "you really are perfect now it's just time for the fixing of your brain" to begin you start flapping you're useless little wings you don't know why you knew they were useless but it was just instinctive somehow you felt powerless completely at his Mercy you don't even know how you got out of his hypnosis but all you know is he's going to put you back in it back into the helpless little play thing you were before

"Now look at me "Adam shushed you just look at me don't try and fight it you know Ill win he said as he started to force your head to look into his eyes yes just fall deeper and deeper you didn't know it was happening you started to feel delirious sleepy starting to go into a gray space between awake and asleep your eyes butterflied a little as you try to resist squirming but weaker and weaker whimpering and Wincing your pleas meant nothing if anything he enjoyed them "damn you're so fucking hot when you like" Adam moaned " you know what I think I might fuck you while I put you back into your submissive state, Yeah bitch doesn't that sound like fun trying to squirm away from me but falling deeper and deeper into my hypnosis it's just too much to resist I'm so sorry" he started to undress himself as you slowly backed away into the corner whimpering and wincing as you went "oh don't be scared" Adam teased "I'll be gentle oh so Gentle"

He started to approach you his erect cock visible " try not to struggle too much it's quite annoying, but don't worry you'll be wrapped around my little finger soon enough Like any proper women meant to serve their husband" just as he said this he started to pin you down you whimpered kicked but that didn't stop them he teased the tip of his cock right against the entrance of your pussy he was clearly getting off to you fear enjoying every second of it the more you cried the more you try to fight back the more you whimpered the more turned on he got " shut up bitch" he growled "at first you're begging was cute but now it's just pathetic you're not getting out of this and you know that " he said that and even deeper growl as as he slowly put his cock deeper and deeper into your pussy

Eventually it was just a full flown thrust " fuck baby keep looking into my eyes little bicth this will be so much more enjoyable if you fuckin cooperate" he said but as he kept looking at you and deep into your eyes something in your brain started to change as much as you try to fight it you know that you weren't going to win your mind was too weak easy to be taken control of manipulated turned into as Adam said your fate would keep going like this for the rest of Eternity the Injustice in heaven was all you could think about how could he do this how could he threaten to banish you to hell just for not wanting to be with him how could he do any of this but that was quickly wiped away by the thoughts that you were the problem that you should apologize to Adam that he was just doing what was necessary and that you were the crazy one you are unstable you needed him that's all you could think you started to enjoy him on you he giggled when he noticed that " are we done with our little tantrum" Adam said softly but firmly " yes Adam I'm so sorry for disobeying you this won't ever happen again" you pleaded to him " good that's what I thought, now let me fucking finish inside you bitch" he said approaching his climax his cock was deep inside you it was 38 cm there was even a little bump in your stomach from where it was since the height difference between you guys was like nine feet you were helpless he had all the control he wanted over you and that was just the way he liked it you started to grip onto the couch he was fucking you on you you were also reaching your climax but Adam beat you to it as you let out a moan long strings of cum started to fill you " yes baby" he said as you also climaxed " see I told you you would like it" Adam said smugly

You were under his spell again condemned to the same fate for the rest of enternity but hey atleats you enjoy it even if your brainwashed

#hazbin hotel #yandere #adam x you #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin adam x reader #hazbin hotel x you #yandere adam #adam x reader #dark romance #yandere male #adam hazbin hotel

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velvetvexations · 4 days ago

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I did not mean to sleep all day. Here all the non-kink asks in my inbox lol.

Does a little dance. People being weird about transmascs on here has messed up my self perception so bad im not actually sure of my own gender anymore, yayyyyy

Fuck that anon, if you're man that rules. Being a man is awesome. You don't need anyone else's opinion to affect who you are, there is no bad gender.

just saw someone acknowledge trans men are often lumped into female spaces due to bioessentialism but then turn around and say that thats proof that trans men arent oppressed. lol.

People act like being let into the Woman Club is the one and only goal of being trans and it's so fucking annoying.

Ngl I still don't understand why femboys are a "transmisogynistic caricature that can't be reclaimed by transmascs" according to some people. Do you have any insights on this because I genuinely can't understand, femboy sounds like gnc boy culture and in my own experience, maybe transfems before they come out occasionally identify as femboys. Idk is it like, someone with an outwardly feminine appearance being a guy? Because that's why I like calling myself a femboy.

Some people think femboy started as a transfem thing because they're idiots who don't know shit.

hey if catboy is ubiquitous and having nothing to do with crossdressing why did Jerma crossdress when someone drew him as a catboy???

Because catboys are allowed to do that lol. Taking one example of a crossdressing catboy to mean catboys infringe on transfem copyright is wild.

Hi thanks for letting me vent to you cause I am at work and can't properly process my emtions otherwise rn. I've been otherwise generally in a slightly emotionally fragile place and then I just got an awful review for my first actual order from a stranger on Etsy. And like I know logically that it's not the end of the world and I gave them exactly what they ordered and it's not my fault that they measured wrong or didn't take my advice and size up a little for fit etc etc but no one else will know that and I just got started selling craft stuff and it's just a hobby and it sucks that this person clearly expected something that wasn't what they paid for (my prices are low cause it's a hobby sorry I don't have super professional materials that would make my stuff cost double) but it's really fucking me up and I am trying not to like cry at work because of this and it's so stupid. This was just my first purchase online that wasn't from a friend and I was so excited and they hated it and didn't even send a message or anything about the length (that was exactly what they asked for by the way) not fitting before leaving a review. It just fucking sucks and I wish my brain didn't react to the most minor disappointments/shows of dislike with the I'm going to kill everyone in this room and then myself meme as first response Thanks for listening. It really helps to be able to vent this somewhere <3

I'm really sorry anon, that sounds so frustrating and hard to deal with. I love you so much. <3 I know you do great work and I hope it goes better next time.

Having NPD sucks, lmao, sorry for the rant ahead. I have to remind myself that the 'mark' on shinigami eyes doesn't actually mean anything, but it's hard sometimes because it's still a stain on my reputation. :( some people will see that and take it at face value, forever associating me with the filth that is transphobia, and I can't do anything about it. I appreciate the people who actually know what a transphobe is going out of their way to remove that mark, but it's a losing battle against a bunch of buffoons who think catgirls are transmisogynistic. sometimes it's really hard to pretend that it doesn't bother me at all, because it's highly insulting for me to be associated with the things I literally fight against. What an insult to my legacy and efforts to even bother to care about other people, you know? I don't HAVE to take time out of my day to do activism, I could just not bother to care at all, but I still try. I deserve praise, not this bullshit😭

I'll praise you! Thank you for fighting against transphobia. <3

All this catboy talk. Wanted to say hi as a catboy. Meow :3

Nya~!

My prediction for TRF discourse in 2025: closeted, non passing trans men shouldn't wear skirts or other traditional women's clothing (even if they don't want to and literally have no other choice) because they're MEN and men wearing women's clothes is obviously always transmisogynistic

All trans men are transmisogynistic because they grew up mocking transfems by wearing women's clothes.

some of this discourse is just so fucking wild i cant believe this is something people are taking so seriously. sipping my tea from the sidelines as a chubby catboy therian lmao

You have a cooler head than I.

iirc the "catgirls are transfem" thing started happening around the time Ferris got popular as a character because, if I'm correct, Ferris actually is transfem (coded?) and following that some people just decided The Aesthetique belonged exclusively to transfems now (also you're so so so so based for loving Schrödinger I remember first seeing him in like 2007 and wishing I looked exactly like him)

Schrodinger is my secret fifth blorbo. I'm obsessed with him. I think about him constantly. High five.

als catboys are only white passing in the way that people love to say anime characters are white lmao (aka cant conceive of the fact that anime characters are actually light skinned Japanese). not to say anime doesn't have a colorism problem but They Are Not White and its racist to say otherwise

lol yes exactly

I might be really stepping in it here, but tangential to catboy/catgirl discourse, I'm starting to get really uncomfortable with how the cutesy moe-blob yuri is treated as "trans lesbian culture" these days? as though none of it was ever straight guy fantasy shit? as though it's ideal representation instead of another vector of impossible beauty standards? idk, maybe I'm just being way too touchy. 😬

It's fine if something becomes emblematic of transfem culture but you just can't pretend something was always transfem when it blatantly wasn't lol

you got marked red on shinigami eyes and i havev no idea why

My smoke too tough, my swag too different, my bitch too bad.

juggalo here. we don't want them.

Devastating.

For what it's worth, the "cats transforming into people" thing is probably based on the bakeneko, yeah. The "bake" in "bakeneko" means "transforming", often with the implication of transforming into people (like the better known bakedanuki and bakegitsune). The popularization of cat-people in anime probably came from Neko-Musume from Gegege no Kitaro (the anime behind the "youkai boom" in modern Japanese culture), who is a half-bakeneko.

Fascinating.

(Dif anon) "leading one to wonder what transphobia they think trans men do face" 99.999% sure at this point we're at "trans men experience misgendering... maybe...?"

Well that doesn't count since everyone wants to be a girl, an idea that I believe has universal appeal because I'm a self-centered moron.

You're awesome <3

Thank you anon. <3

I didn't realize I was trans from yaoi but I did largely realize it from memes about traps and accidentally stumbling across largely transfem subreddits via a anime memes despite being transmasc so. Great amount of respect for our yaoi soldiers.

Hell yeah!

#I'm too tired to tag specifics #discourse

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robogart · 1 year ago

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Shadowheart's high pitched voice is actually really empowering to me as someone with a high pitched voice... :T thanks for perpetuating the idea that women sound "childlike" for that. I had to unfollow for how rude you've been about this character, why totally redesign her if you despise her so? Cannot imagine spending so much energy on something you don't like. If I don't like a character I just don't draw them at all, it's really that simple. Why spread so much negativity? You could have gone about this in a better way if you really wanted to redesign her, coming in with this like "I fixed her" attitude is extremely off-putting.

First off, that's great that you find Shadowheart and her voice empowering to you. Having a higher pitched voice on its own isn't childlike to me and, if I'm thinking of the post where you're getting this from, I just said that her voice sounds very young, I didn't reference it's pitch at all.

And I don't think the actual pitch of her voice is particularly high either - I just think she sounds very youthful and her character has a sort of youthful arrogance that feels very "teenage" in its delivery. And it's this delivery that, when coupled with her design and her writing, I find perpetuates a women character trope I personally dislike. This trope of eternal feminine youthfulness and, especially when paired with this amnesiac/brainwash characteristic, a sort of "born sexy yesterday" feeling to her that is already so prevalent with SO many "strong young women" characters in media. I just don't particularly like constantly seeing it. It's a preference and it's not for me - especially with how it's treated here, which doesn't seem to add anything different to this type of storyline. I wish it was handled differently in the writing.

Regardless, you're completely missing the point with this Shadowheart drawing. As you feel empowered with hearing the voice acting from this character, I feel empowered drawing/reimagining characters as fat. There is close to zero representation of fat characters in media who are being portrayed as strong, interesting, beautiful, and desirable characters - especially as part of the main cast. The representation for characters like Shadowheart is plentiful in media spaces, oversaturated even, and if I can draw characters like her in designs - in this case, where they are literally completely the same except they are fat - then I'm going to do it. Because doing this makes me feel - what you called "negativity" - nothing but joy. I feel immense joy reimagining characters as fat. It makes me feel seen, and that gives me joy. It makes others feel seen, and that gives me joy. It brings in people who are excited and love to see change and different bodies in these spaces, and that brings joy.

Me critiquing this game is not me despising it, far from it actually. If anything I'm enthusiastically frustrated. The reason I am so impassioned with this game is because I enjoy so many aspects of it and see so much potential for ways that I would love to see it improved. This is something that I, and many others, enjoy doing. It's fun to think about, it moves your brain around - it's called critically consuming something, not hating it. There's a difference.

It's probably for the best that you unfollowed because this doesn't sound like a space for you at all. I'm glad to be off-putting in these situations because I will stand for what I want to see more of - respectful depictions of fat people in media - and I will continue to do so.

#bg3 response

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cynicallyanime · 2 years ago

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The Distance Between Us

Author: @cynicallyanime

Warning: Lots of angst with a fluffy ending! (Also memory loss.)

Notes: Sorry if this seems a little short or cut off in a weird spot. I’ve been trying to get back in the groove of writing. But, I’ve been having lots of personal setbacks. I had originally planned for more of the story so I might make a part two later if I find the motivation. Please COMMENT/REBLOG if you enjoy!

Pairing: Momiji Sohma x yn

Words: 5,965

Momiji Sohma was always a peculiar one. Ask anyone who's ever met him. They'll tell you about how he liked to wear feminine clothes until high school and he finally hit a growth spurt. Or they'll tell you about his accent and frequent use of German words that hardly anyone understood. Maybe they'll even tell you about how he always had a smile on his face and goofed around like a little kid, never taking anything too seriously.

The first time I met Momiji was when we were both really small. Probably, like, age twelve or maybe even younger. But, he went to an all boys' school and I went to a regular one. So, that's not where we met. I actually met him when I was preparing for my first big duet competition.

I play the piano. I have ever since I can remember. And for the competition, I needed a violinist to play alongside me. Or at least, that's what my instructor told me. My family had me in solo lessons, so practice was always pretty lonely. I was excited to finally be able to make a friend I could share music with. However, it was up to my instructor to make the match for me. I just hoped she picked someone nice.

There I sat at the practice piano on the day we were supposed to meet. All my instructor told me was that he was a boy, he was my age, and that we were at the same skill level in each of our instruments. So, it was a good match for the competition coming up in a few months.

I expected someone very studious. Someone who would probably not want to have any fun. That's just the way my instructor was. All work and no play. So when the door to the studio opened and I turned my head to see, I was surprised to say the least.

In barged the exact opposite kind of person I had imagined. A little blond boy skipped in through the doorway before the adults could even open it all the way. He bounded straight over to me with his violin case clutched in his left hand and practically touched his nose to mine.

"Hallo!! It's so wunderbar to meet you!!" His light brown eyes shined happily, the same as his broad smile. But, I couldn't help but be a little lost by his accent and the way he was saying things. "I'm Momiji Sohma! Und I can't wait to play together!"

Despite his friendly personality, I was still too flustered to speak properly. "I-uh..."

"Momiji. You're here to practice together, not play. Understand?" The stern adult scolded him. I presumed it was his violin instructor that had come with him.

He instantly stood up straight. "Ah! But we are practicing to be able to play together! No?" The instructor rolled his eyes likes he was used to his antics.

"Excuse me," I whispered out, not quite as outgoing as he was yet. He turned his eyes to me in surprise. "Why...um...why do you sound like that?"

He tilted his head and put one finger to his lips as he thought. "Sound like what? Hmm...oh! You must mean my accent. I'm part German on my mutti's side!" He explained with no hint of offense at all. Then, he continued with a small wink, "Mutti means my mother, by the way."

"Oh!" I finally relaxed when I realized that he wasn't intimidating at all. He was actually quite kind. "It's so nice to meet you! I'm yn yln!" I reached out my right hand and he took it without hesitation to shake it.

And that was the beginning of it all.

For the next few months, we spent nearly every day after school together. Hours upon hours of playing the piano alongside him made me so happy. His violin playing was so amazing. His face would become so serious while he concentrated on his strings. Sometimes I just wanted to listen to him play by himself. But our instructors said if one of us was playing, then the other should be too.

We learned so much about each other so fast. For the first time in my life, I had felt like I truly had someone I could call my best friend. Except...he wouldn't hug me like I saw all the other best friends doing. In fact, the closer we got...the further he moved away from me. At first, we would high five, bump shoulders, and even touch foreheads. Just like the first day we met. Out of nowhere though, he suddenly seemed shy around me and we stopped doing all of that stuff.

That was what was peculiar. The outgoing and bubbly boy who had become my best friend changed completely when I tried to get closer to him again. That made me a little sad. And also curious if maybe I had done something to hurt him. But, I never pushed because I wanted to keep being best friends.

Finally, it was the day of the competition that we had been practicing so hard for. But, we also had so much fun together that it hardly felt like practicing and sometimes I forgot that there would be an end. It was my hope that we could continue to be friends even after the competition. Maybe we could compete in more if we won this one. I had made up my mind to try harder than I ever had before.

A few hours before the competition started, I walked into the massive building with my hand held by my mother's. I gripped the skirt of my fancy dress in my other hand while she checked me in, nerves starting to get to me. All the nerves went away, though, when I finally saw Momiji.

The door opened to the green room we were waiting in and he skipped in, like always. My heart started racing so fast it felt like butterflies were hatching in there. I had never seen him dress so formally, all buttoned up in his suit and tie. He was so cute.

"Yn!!" He exclaimed upon seeing me as he walked closer. Maybe it was just my false hope, but I thought his eyes sparkled when he looked at me. "I've never seen anything prettier than you are!"

His declaration caused me to blush hard. So much so that I had to turn away. Our instructors and my mother excused themselves to go get some drinks, since we would be performing last. I clutched my hands over my chest, wondering if I would be able to hear the keys over my heart out there.

"I mean it, you know," he said softly, leaning his face to be in front of where I was looking. "It's not just the dress. You're always shining, just like schatz...like treasure." Momiji placed his hand on my shoulder for the first time in weeks and all my worries melted away.

I couldn't hold back anymore. I had to know why he had been distant from me. "Momiji," I whispered, eyes fixed on the ground, "do you...hate me?"

"What?" He sounded genuinely surprised. Like he didn't even know that his actions were impacting me.

Finally, I fully met his eyes as one of the tears that had been building up inside for weeks slipped out. "I asked if you hated me!!" His eyes widened at my volume and I was shocked a little bit too. But, how could he say I was like treasure when... "I thought we were best friends! But, you don't ever want to be near me anymore! You...you say I'm like treasure but you won't even hold me like I am!"

My outburst left a deafening silence hanging in the air. Tears flowed freely from my eyes. And Momiji...looked like I had struck him right across his face. His hand fell from my shoulder and I wished I could take it back. I opened my mouth to apologize and beg him not to stop being friends with me. But, he spoke first.

"You are wrong." I wanted to cry more at his words. How could I be wrong when I could see it so plainly? "It's because you are my best friend that I can't do that."

I clenched my fists. Couldn't he at least be honest with me? "Why?? How does that make any sense?!" I clapped my hands over my face to hide how red and puffy it was getting. Embarrassed. I was so embarrassed by my own behavior.

"Yn, stop that." His tone was stern but kind and he reached out to pull my hands away by my wrists. "Don't hide your sadness. Especially, when I'm the cause."

"Momiji," I sobbed, "I don't understand what you're saying." Feelings were hard at that age. First, you were confused about what they were in the first place and then about why they wouldn't go away. Mostly, I was confused because he was contradicting himself.

He reached out with both hands to wipe the wetness from my cheeks. Then, he patted my head so gently. "I want to hug you. But, if I do...bad things will happen. I don't want to stop being friends-"

"Then, don't!" I had listened to enough. My body moved without me telling it to. I slammed into his chest and wrapped my arms around his middle so tightly. "Nothing would ever make me stop being your friend!"

Then, it happened.

In a puff of yellow smoke, Momiji disappeared. The sudden absence of his body sent me tumbling to the ground. I sat up on my knees as the smoke started to clear and looked around. All I could see was his clothes piled in a heap where we were standing.

"Momiji?" I couldn't believe my eyes. The clothes heap started rustling. "Uh!"

I was scared of what it was...until a little yellow bunny poked its head out. Somehow, I didn't even have to ask. I knew it was him. His long ears sagged and his nose twitched as he looked at the floor. "I tried to warn you."

"Ah!!" I yelled in surprise. I hadn't been expecting him to talk in that state. But, I settled down pretty quickly. "Sorry! You just caught me off guard. That's all."

He looked up at me, his ears raised the tiniest bit. "You're not...scared at all?"

"Of course not!" Tears started to form again, except this time, they were happy ones. I promptly scooped him up and cuddled him in my arms. He placed his tiny ones on my shoulder. His nose nuzzled into my neck while I gently rested my cheek on top of his head. "You're my best friend, Momiji. I want to be friends with you forever."

I could feel the cold droplets falling onto my skin. So I held him closer with my hands. As I set him down and smiled at him, a noise on the other side of the door made us jump. Without thinking, I scrambled to shove his clothes out of view and hid him behind me as the door opened.

Our instructors and my mother had returned with the drinks, laughing and chatting about who knows what adult stuff. Momiji's instructor immediately whipped his head around. "Where is Momiji?" I gulped. I didn't know why, but I lied.

"The bathroom...? I think? Or maybe backstage?" I pressed one finger to my chin thoughtfully. "He did say something about watching the others from a good seat..."

With a groan, the instructors quickly left to search for him. My mother took a few steps in and looked over my face. "Sweetie, what's wrong?? Is it nerves?" I nodded.

"I think I left my lucky bracelet in the car," I lied again, "could you get it for me, please? I think it would really help."

She took one look at my pitiful face and her expression softened. "Of course, sweetie. I'll be back soon!"

I let out a sigh of relief just as I heard a poof sound behind me. "That was clo-" The words died on my tongue as Momiji reappeared...naked. "Ahh!"

"Thank you," he said calmly, and proceeded to put his suit back on while I turned the opposite way. "If they had found out, we wouldn't be able to see each other anymore."

We sat next to each other on the couch and he told me everything. The curse that ran back generations in the Sohma family. That hugging the opposite sex triggered the transformation and that it lasted for varying amounts of time. That no one was allowed to know or the head of their family, Akito, would be furious and erase their memories. It was a little hard to swallow. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would've thought he went crazy.

With his secret finally out in the open, he clasped my hand in his. I squeezed it tight, never intending to let him go. Of course, I had to when it was our turn to perform. I thought I couldn't get any happier up on that stage playing with Momiji. But, then we won and we were allowed to keep playing together for more competitions.

Day in and day out for six months we would meet up to rehearse. We would hold hands when the instructors weren't looking, and when they left us alone for short periods, I couldn't help but hug him. One day, I even got up the courage to give him a peck on his little pink nose. When he returned to normal he was as red as a sakura blossom.

Momiji had his birthday in that time, so he had turned thirteen before me. It was finally my birthday...and I knew what I was going to ask for. I waited on my piano bench in the rehearsal room like always. The keys played a soft melody under my fingers and I hummed until I heard the door open.

Momiji walked in and closed the door behind him. I was so excited to see him that I missed the signs. Skipping over to him, I grasped his hand to pull him over to the bench with me. I couldn't feel how he dragged his feet over my racing heart.

"I finally know what you can give me for my birthday!" He had asked weeks ago and I couldn't come up with anything. But, it had finally come to me. "Momiji, I li-"

He squeezed my hand as he interrupted me. "We can't, yn."

"You...you don't even know what I was gonna say," I protested, worry seeping into my skin.

When he finally met my eyes, I saw it. They were red and puffy and his nose was as pink as it was in his bunny form. "I do. Because I want to say it too..."

"What happened?" My voice came out barely above a whisper. I didn't want to know the answer because I knew it was bad. I felt it coming off him in waves.

He sighed. "We can't be friends anymore."

"But...why?" My heart shattered.

His other hand covered our clasped ones. "Akito found out that you know." My eyes widened. "He doesn't want anything or anyone to take us away from him. So, I can't see you anymore."

"No," I whimpered, "that's not fair!"

I watched as he scrunched his eyes closed, his eyelashes becoming wet. "He said...you have to have your memories of me erased."

"No!" I yelled, standing up abruptly. "He can't do that! I don't want to!"

Momiji opened his eyes and looked at me brokenly. "You'll be better off...not remembering. You'll be safer. He'll leave you alone that way," he tried to explain. I just kept shaking my head. I didn't want to hear it. Suddenly, he got up and grasped me by my shoulders. "It's not a request. Akito's word is final."

Tears started dripping rapidly from my lashes as the door opened. A studious looking man in a trench coat walked in. He looked guilty already. This must be the one that does it. I quickly looked at Momiji, curling up his shirt in my fists. "Please, don't let him do this, Momiji!"

"I'm so sorry, yn!" He sobbed and reached in his pocket before pulling something out. Angling himself so the strange man couldn't see, he grabbed my face in his hands and pulled me closer. Momiji pressed a soft kiss to my lips as he slid something under the layers of my short hair. "Happy Birthday, mein schatzi," he whispered in my ear as he pulled away.

When he did, I almost reached up to pull it out and look. But, he glanced over his shoulder and I realized it was supposed to be a secret. "That's not fair," I cried but smiled slightly, "kissing me like that when I won't be able to remember."

"I'll remember for the both of us," he stroked my bangs softly out of my face, "I promise."

He held my hands as he sat me back down on the bench. I took a deep breath, trying hard to stop crying so the last time I looked at him wouldn't be blurry. Finally, I nodded. "Close your eyes. It will be over quickly." The man said as he stood in front of me.

"Thank you, Momiji," I said as I closed my eyes, "for being my best friend." All I felt was falling asleep.

I opened my eyes and groaned. Lifting my head up, I saw that I was in my rehearsal room. "Did I fall asleep at the piano?" I looked around as I stood up and stretched. It seemed...emptier than before. "That's weird," I chuckled to myself and scratched the back of my head as I went to pick up my bag.

My fingers grazed something and I carefully pulled it out. "What's this?" I mumbled. Turning it over in my fingers, I saw a yellow, bunny-shaped hair clip. Something poked at the back of my head briefly. I shrugged. "Where'd you come from? I think I'll keep you. It is my birthday, after all!" I used it to clip my bangs back and decided to leave for the day.

~Ten Years Later: Momiji's POV~

I'm tired. These auditions are never-ending. My dreams are finally starting to become a reality. Ever since the curse broke, I've gotten closer with my family. So, I've started preparing for the concert that I want to put on just for them. My father, my sister, and my mutti. The one I promised to play for Tohru will come later.

The thing about the concert is that I thought it would be more fun for them if I wasn't playing alone. So, I'm searching for someone to accompany me. I've been holding these auditions for days and yet, no luck. It's not that they're untalented. But, they're all...missing something.

I've almost given up entirely. There are still a few musicians left on the list for today. But, I can't bear anymore. I stand up to gather my things from the table as someone walks onto the stage. "I'm sorry, but I've decided to cut things short for today. I'll be leaving now," I sigh, not looking up from my stack of papers.

"Oh," says the voice of a woman. "I understand! Does that mean I'll be first to audition tomorrow?"

That voice. Older and more mature, but still somehow the same. My body goes rigid and I'm afraid to look up. It's not her. It can't be. Tentatively, I peek up at the woman standing on stage, her hair pulled into two low pigtails. She smiles shyly and my heart constricts. Surely, it's not. I look back down, scrambling through the list of people auditioning today. It's got...to be here...somewhere...aha!

With a flourish, I hold the paper up. Her picture is attached to the corner and so I lift it up to uncover the name. I can't believe it...it's been how long? Ten years, almost? Quickly, I sit back down. "Play."

"You," she pauses uncertainly, "want me to play now? I thought you were leaving..."

I clasp my hands under my chin and lean forward intently. "I've changed my mind. You'll be the last today. So, please," I gesture one hand toward the piano, "play me something that you love."

Even from this distance, I can see her cheeks blush under the stage lights. She nods and makes her way to the piano. The light glints off of something in her long hair and my heart skips a beat. A bunny clip holds the bangs out of her eyes as she sits at the bench and takes a deep breath.

Just when I thought I couldn't be any more surprised, she starts playing. Fond memories wash over me as the notes fill the theater. This is the duet piece we played at our first competition together when we were children. Does she remember? How would that even be possible?

Perhaps, she chose this piece because it reminds her of the first competition she won. That's the thing about how Hatori erases our secret from their minds. He leaves just enough of the truth that they wouldn't notice anything is missing. There's no other explanation for why she chose it.

She's gotten taller...but not by much. Then again, I've grown as well. I'm sure I would tower over her if I could stand beside her. We're different people now. We've both gone through so many experiences that shaped us into who we are now...experiences that we didn't get to share with each other like we were meant to.

"Mr. Sohma?"

Her gentle voice pulls me from my thoughts and back to the present. I got so lost in them that I didn't notice the piece was over or her standing in the center of the stage again.

"Are you...alright?"

I tilt my head quizzically at her. Why would I not be? I'm confused until I blink again, and something warm slides down my cheek. Reaching up, I feel the wetness that has gathered there. I quickly wipe the tears away and stand up, plastering a smile on my lips.

"Yes, yes! I'm alright, danke!" My feet move me toward her of their own will as I continue speaking. "You just played so sweetly that it moved me to tears." Suddenly, I'm so close that I can see the surprise glinting in her eyes and I realize that I ran to her. "I don't remember that piece being so sad the last time I heard it," I admit.

She ducks her head for a moment before looking up at me from beneath her eyelashes. I knew it. I knew that I would finally be taller. "It's not supposed to be, actually," she begins shyly. Still so nervous despite all the talent in the world. "The original piece is a duet with the violin. It's missing its other half...so I can't play it without longing or sorrow."

"Where do you suppose its other half is, then?" I question, never letting my gaze leave hers.

I watch as a hopeful shine fills up her eyes. "It's right here." It feels as though my heart stops completely when she gestures to me. She remembers me! Overcome with emotions, I step forward. Ready to wrap her up in my arms and never let go again. That is, until she gently places her hand on my chest to distance herself from me. "Mr. Sohma...what are you doing?"

As quickly as my heart soared, it came crashing into the ground. Of course, she doesn't remember. She only meant I was the other half because it's the job she's auditioning for. I step back, bowing my head slightly.

"I'm so sorry, miss," I clear my throat for fear that she'll hear how disappointed I am. "I don't know what came over me. The job is yours...if you want it."

She clasps her hands in front of her lips. "Oh, really?!" Yn gasps. I miss her always having that excitement in her voice when she's near me. "But, I thought you have more auditions to go through..."

"I don't need to hear any more," I declare, "you are the one I want." She nods and I take that as her acceptance. "Wunderbar! I'll contact you in a few days with information regarding rehearsals. Danke and enjoy the rest of your day!"

I turn to go gather my things without a second thought. But, I'm stopped in my place when something pulls on my hand. I look down and see both of her slender hands grasping mine. When I glance at her face, I see that she's blushing and looking at our hands in shock.

"I just wanted to say..." I watch as she turns redder and redder before she finally meets my eyes. "Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I'll work really hard to make you glad you chose me!"

Some things never change. I smile softly at her while I take the hand she's not holding and pat the top of her head once. "I don't think you'll have to try too hard." The flustered look on her face makes me chuckle for the first time in days. "Bis bald, Miss yln."

Finally, I leave the dim theater to walk around in the late spring sun. Sakura petals float though the breeze as I sit on a bench and stare at my hands. I can still feel her small hands holding mine and the soft strands of her hair. So what if she doesn't remember me? We can make new memories now. Yn fell in love with me once, as children...we can fall in love again. There will be nothing to stop us this time.

Over the course of the next few months, we spend every other day together. It's almost like old times. The weather is getting hotter and she's started wearing her hair up. I have never seen her look so beautiful. I find myself getting so distracted looking at the loose hairs on the nape of her neck that I mess up frequently. But, each time she laughs and the embarrassment is worth it.

She's been so professional. Never wanting to take too long of a break to chat or stray off course for long. It's hard trying to get to know her again. She's very different from when we were kids. I can tell that she keeps a carefully placed wall up almost all the time. But...I don't know why. Could it be because of me? Does she remember the feeling of being hurt and abandoned, but just not the reason why?

On one particular day when the leaves are starting to fall, we get out of rehearsal so late that the sun has already set. I clasp the handle of my violin case as we exit the studio I rent side by side into the cool breeze. She bows toward me politely, like always.

"I'll see you next time, Mr. Sohma!" Yn turns to leave, but I want to stay close to her.

So, I call out. "It's been about four months since we've been working together!" She turns around in surprise. "Let's celebrate! It is dinner time and I kept us too late today." My heart thuds in my chest while she hesitates.

"Oh, no! I wouldn't want to trouble you," she begins to politely decline.

I tilt my head to the side. "You're never any trouble to me." Her eyes widen, the streetlights twinkling in them. "I insist. I'd like to get to know you better, anyway. You don't talk much about yourself..."

"I just don't think it's a good idea..." she says hesitantly. "We shouldn't mix our personal and professional lives." There's brief regret in her once twinkling eyes.

"Oh, I see." Disappointment sinks my heart into my stomach. "How long have you been together?"

Her eyebrows cinch together momentarily as her lips part. "What do you..." I smile softly, trying not to let it show in my face that I can't breathe. After looking over my face for a long moment, her face lights up. "Oh! I'm afraid you have it all wrong, Mr. Sohma!"

"I...do?" I try to keep my hope in check.

Then, she giggles gently, eyes closing in amusement. "Yes!" She opens her eyes once again and meets mine. "I'm not seeing anyone...romantically...that's not why at all," she explains, "I've actually never dated anyone."

"How is that possible??" I blurt out before covering my mouth with my hand. Her cheeks flush red with embarrassment. "No! That's not what I meant! I just figured that you're so wunderbar...there's no way someone hasn't-"

I cut off my stupid rambling before my foot slides further down my throat. She rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. "It's sort of silly...you might laugh."

"I won't," I say hastily, "I promise." Placing a hand over my heart, I lean a little closer to her. "Feel free to talk about anything you like with me."

Hesitation mixed with something else war on the expression of her face. With a sigh, she sinks onto a nearby bench and gestures for me to take the empty spot next to it. "I'm waiting for someone special," yn reveals.

"Isn't...everyone?" I genuinely question.

She shrugs, brows furrowing in what looks like an attempt to sort though her thoughts. "This is different. It's someone I've met before."

"!" Her words cause my heart to stop beating and my lungs to stop taking in air. I thought she had no memories left.

Her hand reaches up to tentatively touch the bunny clip in her hair that she's worn every single day I've seen her. I watch as her lips curl into the whisper of a smile, nostalgia painted in the way her eyes soften. Her eyes shift to mine and I jump slightly, not prepared for this look of complete and utter innocence.

"Have you ever...felt like-no," she corrects herself, head tilting up to look at the stars, "have you ever known that something important was missing? Like, you walk into a room and forget why you went in there in the first place but you know it was for something you needed?"

I nod silently as she looks at the clasped hands in her lap. "Of course..." You. You are what's always been missing for me...

"The past ten years have been that way for me," she admits with a sigh. Finally, she looks back at me again. "I found this clip in my hair on my thirteenth birthday." Pulling the clip from her hair, she holds it up for me to see. "Someone gave it to me. And I can't remember who..."

"Are you sure you it wasn't just a gift from a classmate?"

She shakes her head. "I didn't have friends as a kid." I want to take her hand in mine so badly. But, she always shies away from contact. "The piece I played for my audition...I won a competition with it as a child. Except...it was a duet competition. How can I not remember who I played with?"

"..." I can't find any words to say. Hatori messed up somehow. There's no other way she would be able to put it together. But...she's been thinking of me and looking for me all this time! How do I tell her it was me?

Waving her hand dismissively in the air, she lowers her head. "I told you it was silly-"

"Not at all!" She glances at me, grief swimming in her eyes. I'm the cause of that. She should never have that look on her face. I scoot closer and open my arms to give her a comforting hug.

She flinches back, panic filling her features. "What about the curse??" I immediately stop my movements as she looks around. "I'm sorry," yn covers her mouth in surprise, "I...don't know where that came from."

I can't stand it anymore.

Without thinking, I wrap her up in my arms. She goes still for a long moment, her heart thudding so fast against her chest I can feel it in mine. I carefully take the clip from her hand and place it back in her hair. "Yn," I whisper into her hair as I kiss it.

Seconds later, her arms slowly wrap around my middle. She clings tightly to the back of my jacket as she starts to shake. "Momiji!"

"What did you say?" I pull back slightly to search her face.

Her eyes are watering, a few tears dripping off her lashes. She sniffles, rapidly looking at every aspect of my face before smiling. "It's you."

"It's me." A small sob escapes her as she throws herself back into my arms. I squeeze her tightly, lips buried in her hair, never intending to let go of her again.

But, she untangles herself from me abruptly and scoots back. "Wait, what about-" she waits, probably realizing that minutes have gone by since our embrace and I'm still human. "How did...when did-"

"Oh, mein schatzi," I chuckle warmly, the hole that's been longing for her finally filled, "I have so much to tell you!"

Her whole face lights up. She finally remembers me. We're finally together. Nothing is standing in the way of us living the life we were always meant to live together. She reaches out and cups my face. Her thumbs brush my cheek and come away slick. I didn't realize I was crying, too.

"My birthday is coming up," she whispers hopefully, "and I know exactly what I want-"

I swallow her words with my lips on hers, my hand cupping the back of her neck gently. She presses against me, her arms holding me snug against her. Our lips push and pull, like the waves that crash on the beach shore. And I'm sure I'm not getting any oxygen because the only thing I want to breathe in is her existence. Her serendipitous reappearance in my life.

My lungs start to burn and I know that it will have to end soon. But, I don't want it to. I want to keep feeling her in my arms, smelling the perfume on her neck, and tasting the tea on her tongue. And she wants the same. I know it. But, eventually it becomes too much to bear, and I have to pull away.

We pant with foreheads pressed together, breath mingling in the air between us. "Sorry," I swallow thickly, "I couldn't wait until your birthday...I've already waited almost ten years for you."

"So, you..." She begins quietly, smile quirking one corner of her lips. "You've never..."

I brush a strand of hair behind her ear, closing my eyes as I kiss her forehead for a long moment. "I've never kissed anyone like that before. I've been saving it for you. Only for you."

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