#why didn't you make an attempt to understand?
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I feel like a conspiracy theorist, but I'm convinced the GOP cheated by disenfranchising enough voters to win. Not just in swing states. The margins in every state are weird. A few thousand votes here and there across every county. The huge number of split ticket votes. The sudden loss of 12 million democratic voters despite record early voting turnout and voter registration?
It doesn't add up. It doesn't make sense.
So many people who had confirmation of their ballot being received and accepted are now finding out that they were unregistered or there was a "problem" with it.
They were saying for months that they didn't need anyone's vote. The betting market manipulation. The billionaire backers. Elon Musk's grubby hands all over the election.
They did steal the election. And we'll probably never find out how.
in the broad sense, yes, american elections should be fairer, and the franchise should be more universal. in the narrow sense--this is cope. purges of voter rolls happen in public. there's litigation on them all the time. a purge of 12 million voters from voter roles would not have gone unnoticed. to account for all these factors you would need an improbably large conspiracy. (stealing elections in the united states would be hard. each state administers its own elections! you'd have to steal 50 elections. and once again, this would be a case of someone rigging the presidential election and forgetting to rig any of the downballot races, which would be stupid.) including a conspiracy to rig most polling, given the outcome was within the margin of error of most polling averages for this election.
i get why it's the preferable scenario--people aren't dumb! my opponents are just evil! there's some optimism in that--but "i personally do not understand how this outcome could have occurred" does not mean it was a conspiracy.
So many people who had confirmation of their ballot being received and accepted are now finding out that they were unregistered or there was a "problem" with it.
this is normal and you typically have several days after the election to amend your ballot if there was a problem with it. if you do, it still counts. fun word problem time: if ~150 million people vote in an election, and 0.001% post on twitter about how they needed to amend their ballot (especially in non-swing states), how many twitter posts in a row do you have to see to convince yourself there is a ~conspiracy~ afoot?
fun second word problem: out of seven swing states, how many were governed by the opposing party or someone who had publicly opposed donald trump's election subversion attempts in 2020?
fun third word problem: do you know how elections in your state work? do you know which state official is in charge of administering them, and their party affiliation? do you know what the margins of downballot races like house and senate in your state were this election, and their relative swing from 2020? in short, do you know in detail how elections in the US work and what "typical" voting patterns look like, or are you just going off of vibes from a vaguely paranoid local bubble in social media?
#people did the same shit after the 2004 election#trying to cope with bush's win#and republicans did it in 2020#conspiracies are really persuasive if you don't know how something works
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More thoughts:
I linked a post below that has me thinking about Tommy's actions & Eddie's place in the narrative. In retrospect, I 100% believe Tommy knows and understands that Eddie is likely going to be Buck's last. (as much as anybody can know this sort of thing.) I know Tim and Oliver said Eddie had nothing to do with the obstacles in Buck's relationship, but I think that was a partial truth on their part. Technically, Buck does spiral because of Abby and #stagefoureddiediaz has talked about the way Buck is still stuck on the hamster wheel. I think both of these things are part of the obstacles mentioned in one of Oliver's interviews. However, if you look only at those things, you overlook the Pink Eddie in the room. While I agree that Eddie didn't interfere or try to stop Buck & Tommy from being together, his friendship with Buck has remained a constant. (see the link at the very bottom for more about Eddie in the narrative.) If you check out Buddielifer's post, several good points demonstrate the breakup was about Eddie. I'll try to avoid repeating what was said there as I explain. My opinion does differ on a few small points, but I'll get to that later.
Ok. I'm going to talk about Tommy a little but stick with me. This is a Buddie post. I promise, and I do have a point. I do believe Buck was attracted to Tommy, not because he had some great destiny to be the love of Buck's life, but because he did a few really cool things while helping to save Bobby & Athena's lives. Plus, Tommy did it in the coolest way possible. Helicopter pilots are cool, or they would be if they weren't dating one-half of your favorite ship. lol. Before the kiss, Buck wasn't self-aware enough to fully engage with his sexuality, I suspect that he handled his attraction to Tommy the way he handled it with other men before we knew him as a firefighter.
As we saw in a flashback, when Buck met a man he felt attracted to, he processed those feelings by befriending him. It was the same with Tommy. That is why he was at the hangar that day. When he offered to buy Tommy a beer, I truly think Buck thought he was making a new friend. If you think about it, you can see this was a pattern for Buck. He did have a meltdown over Eddie when they first met (but with Eddie, bigger things were and are still in play) It doesn't change the fact that once Buck got past his initial jealousy or whatever that was, he threw himself all in with Eddie. It was part of his pattern and part of #stagefour's hamster wheel. (Endgame will have Buck get off the wheel and look around. The person standing there was never part of the wheel, but the person waiting for him to stop and get off of it.)
The situation with Tommy is probably closer to how Buck reacted to his friend who wanted Buck as a sperm donor. Buck actually followed that 'friend' to Peru. I have a post from a while back where I discuss Buck sending mixed signals. In his mind, he is making a friend, but he is also unconsciously flirting. Tommy was the first to push through and just kiss Buck. I don't think this was nefarious so much as an attempt to interpret the signals Buck was sending. (I'm sure many see Tommy as having bad intentions but stick with me. I'm trying to put him into the context where Tim claimed he wanted him to be seen. Tommy was supposed to be a mentor or a more experienced man helping Buck navigate this side of himself.) As a teacher, Tommy did help him navigate, but he also let Buck set the pace. Although never shown, we know Buck is a very sexual being, and the deleted scene with Tommy, Hen, and Karen confirmed that Tommy was just trying to keep up with him.
But I digress. Buck's intention to befriend Tommy ended the exact moment that Eddie showed up at the hangar with a huge smile on his face. Stoic Eddie who does not show his emotions was smiling hugely. Even though this is from Buck's perspective and he is an unreliable narrator, it is plausible to me that Eddie would be excited to go to a live fight in Vegas. Oliver and Tim have talked a lot over the past few weeks about how Buck spirals. When Eddie left with Tommy, Buck began to spiral in a way that we have never seen before or since. He was absolutely unhinged with jealousy. There is no way that Buck, who didn't even ask about Tommy's dating history until six months into the relationship, was that insane to get the attention of a man he has known for a few days or weeks. Now that we are pulling in new material from the current season, it isn't even remotely believable that Buck's reaction was about Tommy.
If Buck had experienced some sort of love-at-first-sight moment with Tommy, then he would have asked Tommy about his past at the beginning of the relationship. In fact, people entering into something serious generally ask about past partners in the first few weeks of getting to know each other or before sex. The fact that Buck didn't, is a change in pattern for him. Buck typically throws himself all in and then when things go wrong, he doesn't know how he got there. (Also part of the hamster wheel.) However, I attribute the difference this time to the fact that, subconsciously, Buck knows what he's feeling. He can use his body. (borderline sex addict). However, he can't bring himself to share with Tommy what he already shares with Eddie, but you know our unaware cowboy can't see it yet.
At the hangar, Tommy didn't have a feel for Buck yet. However, by the end of the Vegas trip, I think he had picked up a good idea from Eddie that there was something there. (not because Eddie has made some sort of confession, but because I'm confident that Eddie talked about Buck nonstop. I'm hoping that we get some sort of confirmation of this in the current season. I don't want it to be forgotten.) At any rate, whatever conclusions Tommy drew from his time in Vegas with Eddie and the time they spent hanging out afterward didn't bother him enough to refuse to date Buck. I do think Tommy was longing for the family and support he could see Buck has with the 118, but I don't think he was ever planning a wedding in his head. In fact, I know he wasn't. That's part of why he broke up with Buck.
Sidenote: (Thanks to StageFourEddieDiaz, for pointing out how Buck failed to understand the mission from Josh's speech because this is what caused Buck to shift from not letting Tommy get too close to asking Tommy to move in with him.) Until the conversation with Josh, Buck was actively shutting Tommy out of anything other than sex and possibly learning the ins and outs of the LGBTQ community.
Again, in the beginning, this didn't bother Tommy. He knew what Buck needed, and as he stated a few times during the sixth episode, Buck was hot and fun. If you need examples of Buck shutting Tommy out, I point you to anything that happened in the Halloween episode. I'm not saying Buck didn't care about Tommy at all, but he was holding back. The look on Buck's face as Josh asked about his feelings really said it all. I think this is probably why Josh was a little shy of the mark when giving his speech about comphet. Josh had to give a long list of, "Do you feel "this or that" for your boyfriend of six months," before he finally hit on something that Buck did feel. I don't want to get off topic or repeat too much from the linked post, I just wanted to illustrate that the jealousy from Buck's coming out episode was 100% for Eddie and that it was something that Tommy realized before entering the relationship.
I know there will be some disagreement here, but I also feel like Tommy's feelings for Buck actually were on the verge of changing, and he hadn't expected that. When they were standing at the grave, Buck gave his eulogy directed to Billy Boils. Tommy's face went through a series of changes. First, he seemed annoyed or concerned. I couldn't quite tell, but the more Buck talked, the more you could see of our Buck. The guy with a huge heart who can empathize with the skeletal remains of a criminal. I'll link the clip for you to judge. What Buck had to say to Billy was more open and revealed more about Buck's character than anything he had been saying to Tommy over the past six months. It was a small scene, but one that probably came back to Tommy when Buck suggested moving in together.
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It was scenes like this one combined with Tommy's exclusion from group chat, etc., that probably helped to remind him that Buck's feelings six months ago were not about him and nothing had changed despite Buck's suggestion that he move in. Tommy's insecurities took over and reminded him what the inevitable end was going to be for them. He was the first not the last.
For the past six months, he's known that Eddie was between them, but you could see how comfortable he was with it. He didn't seem annoyed by Eddie's presence at all. I disagree with either Tim or Oliver when they try to play up that Tommy was Eddie's friend and this was natural. Eddie and Buck met Tommy at the same time, and Tommy was trying to shoot his shot by taking Eddie to Vegas. I don't know what was discussed between Eddie & Tommy during those few weeks where Buck was being left out, but it is clear that whatever conclusion he had drawn from the Vegas trip had been solidified by what happened on the basketball court, so much so that he wanted to apologize to Buck in person. We all know how that went, and I still think that was a good scene.
This brings me to the breakup scene itself. In the end, when Tommy talks about how he didn't see it coming. I don't think he was referring to the breakup. I think he was referring to the feelings he caught close to the end. He thought he would help Buck, provide a safe space for Buck to explore that he personally didn't have, and have some fun with a hot young thing, but he let it go too far. (His reasons are pretty much part of what Tim has said in interviews.) I don't think Tommy realized how much he had gotten caught up in the fantasy of Buck until Buck asked him to move in with him. I do think he's sincere when he says his heart would end up broken because, despite his feelings, he still understands there is something between Buck and Eddie even if they don't.
(One side note. I agree with Buck that first and last can be the same thing. I don't buy into the belief that you have to be with dozens of sexual partners, but I also don't think that would have been the case with Buck. He is a sexual character, and he's openly curious. I know people were mad about the interview where Oliver talked about letting Buck F#ck, but I think that would be in character for an upset Buck who was just dumped. It is less about his sexuality than it is about his abandonment issues and neglect trauma. That's my take anyway. We'll see what Tim does with it. I do think the part of Buck that craves monogamy already belongs to someone else, and the di was cast before Tommy came into his life, and we are back again to the hamster wheel.)
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If you stuck with me this long, thank you. I know there are few, if any, fans of Tommy around here so I appreciate that you were willing to objectively view him the way Tim kept trying to present him. I'm tired and I'm pretty sure I rambled a couple of times, but I do understand Tommy is a problematic character. I consider that to be a writing issue that never got a satisfying resolution. I'm equally aware some people hate him simply because he was with Buck. I'm not doing a lot of judging these days because I already know how unreasonable I'm going to be over Eddie being with another man. After seven seasons of subtext, they are already in love. These other relationships are like cheating. lol I'm not so secretly hoping that if Eddie needed a "first" he got it when he was a teenager or when he was in Afghanistan.
I can tell I'm going to be bad because when I see posts about Eddie sleeping with a priest, I want to scream into a pillow and pretend that I'm flipping over furniture and tossing chairs across the room. I just can't be reasonable. I would never attack the actors or writers though. That's not me. My jealousy is on Buck's behalf, and my bad behavior remains entirely inside my head. I don't know what they'll do with Eddie, but they are going to need a chat group to make sure Eddie's boyfriends do not meet with Buck's subconscious mind.
Click here to see the meta on Eddie Haunting the Narrative from #buddielifers.
#911 abc#buddie#ryan guzman#oliver stark#buck buckley#eddie diaz#911 spoilers#speculation really#Youtube
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Thinking about the "Do you Feel Safe Tape"
Honestly we should talk about the different reactions to 'who do you trust' a bit more.
Wooly - Wooly seems surprised that you trust him. I couldn't help but think it's partly because we like seem to like Amanda and Amanda hates him. Also considering Amanda doesn't trust him, he probably hasn't had anyone say they trusted him in a very long time and it was probably shocking. Then Amanda tells us she felt that way a long time ago and Wooly looks sad. I've noticed throughout the game that he seems to get sad whenever Amanda talks about not liking him anymore. He gets immediately sad when Amanda says that you have to think about who you can trust, before she even mentions. I think whatever he did to break her trust, he might actually feel really bad about it. (I can point out other moments he's done this too if you want). But what else is interesting is that Amanda trusted Wooly at some point. She didn't hate him from the start, something happened to change their relationship. I can't help but feel it was "recent" considering the events of the first game. Considering both Amanda and Wooly's reactions to Wooly coming back to life, I'd assume Amanda has never hated Wooly enough before to try killing him. When I say recent, I mean possibly during the years that Kate was watching the tapes and talking with Amanda.
Personally, I think both Amanda and Wooly unintentionally played a part in Kate's death and Hameln finding her. Considering Amanda's reactions to us saying "Hameln" I think they might still be monitoring Amanda and Wooly. I think that by interacting very directly with her (saying her name and stuff) could have helped them discover her identity and put her in danger. Which is not directly related to anything in this post (I mean it could be, but I'd need more evidence). That said, it's possible that him getting in the way of them remembering (once they started to gain back their memories) was exactly why she stopped trusting him. . But I think the important takeaway here is she did trust him at some point, and he feels bad that he broke that trust.
Kate: Amanda trusted Kate, and wishes she could still talk to her. Kate was one of the last people who knew Amanda when she was Rebecca. (well, positive relationships at least) Think about it. Sam is MIA. All the other librarians who knew her are DEAD. Any friends she had in school or whatever are definitely full grown adults if they didn't get trapped in the show (idk, like if they were watching it cuz it was their friends show or whatever). Every person we know who knew Amanda is probably dead now. Kate was the last one. Now that she remembers, she keeps saying she wishes she could still talk to Kate whenever we mention her, and Wooly looks like he feels bad. Now that she remembers who she was. Now that she remembers Rebecca, she wants to talk with Kate, maybe the way they used to. That could be why she's so angry with him. Why she tried to kill him AFTER they found Kate died (in the Wooly's birthday tape) but had only hurt him when they realized Riley was watching the tapes and not Kate (in the original in your neighborhood tape). Wooly might've caused her to miss her chance to talk to one of the few people who knew her as Rebecca. That was recent though, I think she lost trust in him over time as he kept blocking her attempts to reach out to Kate
Sam: She says Sam was trusting too, and that can be a mistake. She sounds so sad here, like she is going to cry. I think this confirms that Amanda doesn't hold any malice towards Sam about what happened. She understands that both of them were tricked. So idk, I guess any theories involving Amanda hating Sam for what happened are debunked now?
Hameln: Saying Hameln immediately makes Amanda stop trusting us. Wooly looks scared of Amanda yelling (as always) but I noticed he also looks kind of angry? Offended? Annoyed? I can't really tell cuz the tape gets really blurry. I've seen people say that Wooly doesn't react to the meatman or Hameln, but I think he does it's just more subtle. I don't know what else to say here, the clip goes by so fast.
Meatman: Again, both of them react to this. Amanda immediately gets pissed. And like, reasonably so. I've heard that the game won't let you progress past this point if you do this apparently, so like... the meatman is serious. Wooly looks shocked and then immediately motions at us not to say that. But like, it's a different surprise then when you answer "Wooly" he seems horrified. Like this is a pretty messed up thing to say. I'm not 100% sure what the meatman's deal is but like... both Amanda and Wooly seem to dislike him in the first and second game. Also is it just me or is it kind of odd that they only dislike the butcher? Like, there are variants of him in all the shops in the first game and Wooly and Amanda don't really seem to mind him, but they both don't like being in the butcher's. When only the meatman's buildings appear, Wooly looks pretty concerned, and then really scared when they enter, and asks her to take them someplace else. Amanda has a full-blown meltdown over not wanting to go in and when we enter she screams at us to let her out. I find this scene interesting because I don't think either of them are in control. Wooly is trying to distract her from Kate's death (or at least that's what I think the "something bad happened" means) by going a bit off-script and controlling the story a little. It doesn't seem like he was the one who messed with the stores. Amanda didn't either. What if this was the meatman? Like... punishing them for going off script by like reminding them of his looming presence or whatever? Idk. That whole scene was WEIRD in hindsight. Even though we never enter the butcher shop in the second game, his presence looms over us the entire time. Almost makes me think he's the real one put in their too keep the kids under control. They are both terrified of him after all and he seems to be connected with the surgeon who trapped them in there. Sorry this got a bit on topic but I think I might be getting somewhere.
But let's move on to the answers for the "what scares you" question.
"Amanda" or "you" - Question, has anyone tried Rebecca? I've only seen the answer compilations use "amanda" or "you". Amanda breaks our heart here by being hurt that after all this time we're still afraid of her. Ouch.
Hameln - Amanda gets terrified and says not to bring them up. I think Hameln is definitely watching these tapes.
Meatman - Wooly finally reacts to something, and bro is freaked out. Idk if it's by the mention of the meatman, Amanda's anger or both. Honestly, I have no idea why her anger spells still freak them out. I guess it is pretty scary, but I feel like he should be used to it at this point. Also she can't kill him, so what is he afraid of? He doesn't seem to be worried about being the one who makes her angry anymore, but he still gets freaked out when we do it? Weird. Anyway, I find it interesting that Amanda has spent the whole first game trying to tell us all about what happened, but she draws the line at the meatman and Hameln. Wooly wasn't there to stop her before, and she still didn't want to discuss it. Honestly, it doesn't feel like she's been as eager to tell us much in this game, despite trusting us. I mean she's told us plenty about Sam and Kate, so I don't think it's that she doesn't trust us. I think she doesn't want to remember things about Hameln or the meatman. She wanted to remember who she was, she wanted to remember Sam, she wanted to remember Kate and she wanted to know what happened to her... but somehow she draws the line here. Then we see the glitches of the surgery room and the mouth. I really do agree with the theories that the meatman is connected with the people who put her and Wooly into the show. That said... why is he there? That's what I don't get. I think I might be cooking with my earlier theory though no?
Wooly - Odd. He doesn't even look hurt, just confused. We can clearly see here that Amanda is not at all afraid of Wooly, so like I don't think he's like a Hameln worker. The meatman absolutely is though. We are not hating on the meatman enough guys. DOWN WITH THAT- Anyway.
Actually the whole point of this post was to talk about what Amanda says about how we were a stranger when we met her. I think this is really important to note. Because Amanda knew Kate long before she was Amanda. Possibly before "Amanda the Adventurer" even came to be. Of course Amanda trusted her. But she didn't know Riley. She tells us that she trusts us. This is HUGE. I mean, considering everything Amanda has been through. She barely knows us. She has EVERY DANG REASON not to trust us. Heck, I think that could be what Wooly means when he says she shouldn't talk to strangers. Because "not talking to strangers" doesn't make sense in this context. The viewer is a stranger, but if they didn't ever interact with the viewer they wouldn't have a show so Wooly's comment makes no sense. And yet, despite everything, she trusts us. Wooly looks kinda sad when she says she trusts us, probably because she trusted him once too, now she won't listen to a thing he says.
Then Joanne (I swear to god I got so mad at her in this scene) calls us and Amanda looks kind of sad when she hears that. Then looks really sad when Joanne says "that thing" I think Joanne was referring to the Wooly monster but Amanda doesn't know that. Then the possum appears and they both get really mad at it (and us for letting it mess with them). It's made very clear that both of them genuinely don't know who this guy is. It's funny because usually Amanda is the one asking us to get rid of him but this time it's Wooly.
And then let's talk about how COORDINATED THESE TWO WERE OMG. All it took was a look and a nod and they were already on the same page. If we don't help them, they manage to beat this guy up all on their own and mind you, not a single word is exchanged of a plan, they just work together. They just do it. And they do it so freaking well. Remember my Hameln theory? About how Hameln doesn't want these two on the same team because you know... two kids who can control demons who have every reason to hate Hameln and then there's THIS. When they get along they work so freaking well together. Could you imagine if they both decided to team up with their demons and beat the crap out of Hameln? Is there even a chance to be stood here? Honestly, I was also thinking, I think Hameln picked whoever Wooly is specifically for his avoidant personality, knowing that these two would clash. But clearly they don't have to.
Oh yeah, then they both get pissed AT US. I don't think we've actually seen Wooly get THIS mad at us. Like there was the time in the storybook tape but like he was not this mad. He's like... Amanda level mad here. Then they pick up the possum and throw him in the trash with still very minimal communication and ALL THE COORDINATION.
Then in the version where we do help, Amanda actually agrees with Wooly's sentiment that some strangers CAN be scary. Then without a word they both pick him up and throw him in the trash. BRO THE COORDINATION BETWEEN THESE TWO WHEN THEY WORK TOGETHER IS INSANE I NEED MORE OF IT ITS SO SMOOTH AND PLEASANT TO WATCH. Then Wooly asks if they can go home and Amanda playfully teases him "What are you scared?" Then he kinda makes this face like "yeah kinda" and she's like "c'mon let's go." she sounds a lot less annoyed with his presence then usual. Like still annoyed but also like she's kinda okay with it?
This deserves it's whole entire own post but like... I feel like gradually their relationship has improved over the course of this game. Like Amanda still doesn't trust him, there's still some rough stuff they need to work through, but she's starting to let him in again. Just a little. She's more okay with him being there. And I think people tend to overlook this when they say Wooly is evil. If Wooly was evil, why are they starting to get along again, (I mean they aren't besties again but like it's definitely a start and you can't ignore that.) Shouldn't Amanda continue to hate his guts? Instead she's actually agreed with him on some things, and they've helped each other out a bit. Like I said this is probably going to get it's own post at some point so I'll leave it here for now.
Holy crap did you actually read all this? OMG thanks. I did not realize I wrote so much WOW. BTW, I was watching those "all answers" videos along with a zero-commentary playthrough of the original so like, I'm not pulling this from memory at all.
#amanda the adventurer#amanda the adventurer 2#wooly the sheep#amanda the adventurer wooly#amanda the adventurer theory#maddykpost#ata 2#rebecca colton#sam colton#kate park
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"You good?"
Your head whipped around at the voice, the laughter warm in every word. He was smiling when you craned your head from where you knelt, struggling with the zipper on your backpack, to look at him. Of course he was. Jeong Yunho, class clown and unofficial prince of your whole cohort.
You snorted, rolling your eyes at the pretty man fiddling with the strap of his bag. "I'm fine. You can check off your quota of helping out damsels in distress for the day and find someone else to fulfill that requirement."
His expression shuttered at your harsh tone. The deadpan way you parroted the words like you were reading them off a script while your fingers worked furiously in an attempt to charm the zip unstuck. It was silent for a minute and you almost thought he'd left, only you hadn't heard any footsteps.
He was still there when you glanced up again, chewing on the end of one of the strings hanging perfectly from the talisman of truth hanging off the shoulder strap of the beat up messenger bag he wore slung over one broad shoulder.
"Are you always this mean?"
You shrugged.
"I'd say I understand why you have no friends, only that isn't true. You always have those two wolves hanging all over you. Your pack maybe? That would explain why they put up with you."
You sighed. "Do you always speak every thought you have out loud? It's rather annoying. I'm trying to focus."
Instead of leaving like you hoped, because why on earth would you ever be so lucky, he knelt beside you instead. Talisman forgotten completely as he ducked his head to get a better look at what you were doing. He nudged your hands aside and with a few deft movements of his own he had your stubborn zipper sliding back into place in no time.
"You didn't have to make that look so easy."
He wiggled long fingers in a way that sparked something familiar in your brain. You knew those gestures. Or, you should know them, anyway. You recognized a sigil of smoothing and a charm of repair. You sighed. Why did he have to be good at all the subjects you shared?
"Thanks."
You didn't spare the man another glance as you stood, swinging your newly functional again bag over one shoulder. He sprang back up to his full height with a grace you usually only saw in shifters and you remembered he was also an athlete. Of course there wasn't anything the golden boy of year 9 couldn't do.
You suppressed another roll of your eyes, just barely, and glanced over at your desk to make sure you'd gotten everything. It wouldn't do to leave any of your things behind, not here. It would be easy for any of your classmates to read too many secrets into any notes or objects they found lingering around. You couldn't have that.
You turned to leave, narrowly avoiding bumping right into Yunho's sweater clad chest. You put a hand out to stop yourself colliding with him, hand landing right on the soft cheery yellow fabric, and quickly pulled away at the little electric zap that followed. He frowned at you. You didn't stop to explain, just pushing past and angling your hip so no more of your body brushed against his as you hurried out of the room.
"I'm Yunho by the way. If you even care to know."
You threw the steely haired man a look that you hoped conveyed your disdain. Something you weren't entirely sure you were feeling but he didn't have to know that. The faux flame lighting crackling overhead along the lecture hall ceiling gave the silver of his hair a blue tone you found oddly appealing. You blinked those thoughts away and shook your head to clear it.
"I know who you are Jeong."
"Good, then can I call you by your first name next time we meet like this?"
"There won't be a next time."
You'd have to make sure of it. You couldn't afford friends. None besides the two you couldn't shake anyway. You really couldn't afford any distractions. Yunho was a very very big distraction in the making. You didn't give him time to get any more words in. This was the first, and last, conversation with Jeong Yunho you'd ever have.
Or so you told yourself.
#ateez#ateez drabbles#jeong yunho#yunho#yunho x reader#ateez x reader#ateez scenarios#fic snippet#magic au#witch au#snippet#ateez fic#fic ideas#fic drabble
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now that I've finished datv.. i have some first pass thoughts
spolers below
first of all why is this game trying so hard to rehabilitate in-universe controversial aspects? I mean like. Slavery in Tevinter. It's swept under the rug with a few lukewarm platitudes and codices about how it's being addressed off-screen. Previous games have established how horrific it is, but the tevinter we see in veilguard doesn't reflect that at all. it feels dismissive of a lot of major setting and character development. Same with the antivan crows! they were described as a brutal, cruel organization but now they're the underdog protectors? Sure, there was family drama and a few mentions of how cut-throat things HAD been before, but we don't get to *see* any of that. illario was weak as an example of this bc he was the only thing to be shown as bad. There's no tangible impact.
it seems like a feeble attempt to make sure the players understand that the writers do not condone the unsavory aspects of the setting and characters, while making everything a Teachable Moment. honestly half of the game felt like a psa on extremely basic ethics, like surface-level shit children already know.
on top of that, idk why the game is trying so hard to therapize the player via companions' emotional journeys. The extremely basic and direct "your feelings matter and it's okay to feel your feelings! " scenarios were so repetitive and cringe. Sesame street level bullshit. am i crazy for expecting a more mature and nuanced approach to emotional struggle??? I swear previous games were better at this
also fuck all of southern thedas, it's cooked. hope yall didn't care!
Anyway.
ive only played through Neve's romance and i chose her bc she talks and acts like an adult and not a flustered teenager like harding, or a quirky mpdg like bellara. I liked it, it was fine. no strong feelings about it tho.
I didnt consider Taash as a romance option bc they act like a petulant child most of the time and that's just not fun for me.. and I don't love that Taash seems more like a prop for Gender Ideology 101 rather than being a fully complex character who is working through a gender identity crisis. I am not trans and cannot fully speak to this but as someone who knows more than the absolute basics of gender ideology, their story felt patronizing.
the boys are... fine, I guess. I wrecked treviso so I think i got locked out of some Lucanis stuff but his possession just isn't as compelling as previous characters who have been possessed. Davrin is fine, inoffensive. Emmerich is funny I do like him, Manfred is delightful.
I played as an elf bc I hoped it'd be extra relevant to the story, what with the Big Bad(s) being evanuris. it didn't matter at all. the crossroads doesn't even look different for an elf character like it did in Trespasser.
I expected everything to drive torward making Solas out to being a Good Guy Actually, and it kind of did. but super aggravating for have phantom varric to say that after being actually murdered by him like damn!! you are just gonna let that guy walk all over you bc yall were friends for a short while a decade ago. Where was that sympathy for Anders??
varric being a figment of rook's imagination the whole time was a fun reveal, tho.
siiigghhh. but listen. there were things I liked about the game, too. the gameplay is fun. the environments are GORGEOUS. the characters look good, i think the art style is fine actually. the character creator is great (except those qunari fiveheads RIP)
a lot of the banter and jokes did genuinely make me laugh, and i did like exploring maps and interacting with the new companions generally.
I havent given a lot of thought to it but I think a lot of the plot-related issues i have could've been solved by just setting the game like, 100 years in the future. All of the questionable and unsavory aspects of the cultures the game tries SO hard to diminish and write off would've had time to be organically rectified in-universe. I guess.
well. whatever.
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At first he ignored it.
The jealousy piling up in his stomach.
He first noticed it when Wade electrocuted himself while changing the lightbulb in the kitchen to a mucb softer purple color instead of the harsh yellow that "made his skin look terrible" and lit the good candles. The ones that were new and smelled good, not from the dollar store and smelled like your grandma- No offense Althea.
Sure, Wade has done those things for him too- well... not change the light but he's lit candles and made him a mediocre dinner that would score a solid 5.5 out of 10 if he were to rate it. The extra 1.5 was from sheer love alone. He could taste it when he ate the food- so why did it seem like he loved her more?
He was trying so hard for her. For everything to be perfect. And it was like this almost every time, even if they were off and on, everything was always perfect.
Yes, He did something similar for him when they first got together a few times, but.. after that, it dialed down. He stopped changing the light. He stopped lighting the good candles. He swapped the homemade dishes for takeout. Sure, Wade danced with him in the kitchen but this wasn't the same.
Yeah, Wade gave him preformances while making breakfast or cleaning the house, but this felt more personal. Rehearsed. Reserved for someone who wasn't him.
Now, don't get me wrong, he loves Vanessa. No where near as much as Wade but she was genuienly a good person, caring, understanding, very pretty, and a bad ass for being able to put up with Wade for so long- without any regeneration powers. How the hell did he even bag her??
He wondered how long it took the stab scar on her arm to heal. How many times Wade break down apologizing for becoming spooked. How long until he would allow himself to sleep in the same bed as her again, punishing himself for hurting someone he loved.
When he saw him take the spoon, he couldn't help but watch as Wade put on one of the cringest performances that he's ever witnessed. Like a 20 year old frat boy who was trying to get a girl to let him hit, except the look in his eyes was genuine. He loved her more then life itself. And he knew it.
He acted so young around her. Suddenly, he was barely old enough to drink and fell in love with the first stripper he met at the club. Like T-Pain falling head over heels for a bartender, so excited and infactuated with her simply for treating him with human kindness.
God.. It reminded him of how he was with Kayla..
He watches as he holds her wrist, putting his chin on her crossed legs for a moment and slid down to his knees like the little weirdo he was. It made her giggle. Hell it made HIM giggle.
He wasn't sure how or where Wade got all this charm, but it worked a bit too well, but the smile on Vs face, looking at him as if she could tell how he was feeling, how her eyes invited him to join them but he was far too nervous. This was THEIR date afterall. He was only here because he lived here and had nothing else to do tonight.
Not like Wade minded, but he felt like he was intruding for being here.
"-Guilty feet have got no rhythm!"
Logan snorted, speaking before he could even catch the words on his tounge. "You never had any to begin with!" He teases.
At first, he worries Wade will be upset with him. Will scold him for ruining their date. Would tell him to leave.. but he didn't.
He only sprung up, giving him a sassy hand on his hip as he waved the spoon. "ExcUSE me!?"
Logan smiled, that small bit if jealousy going away, burning up like paper in the house fire of his heart that was lit ablaze by the playful attitude.
Oh, he missed this more than he realized. Starting trouble, play fighting with someone who matched his energy without becoming too upset by his growly demeanor.
"I can do more than waltz, you know." He tells him, glancing to Ness for consent to bud in. She gives him a quick nod as he takes Wades attention from her, attempting to try to dance with him but he pulls his hand away.
Right. Wade didn't dance with anyone else to this song. This song was Nessys. And he was okay with that.
"Oh, yeah!? Like what? Square dance?!"
"What's wrong with square dancing!?" His head tilts, furrowing a bit. Since when was square dancing outdated? Man, he really needed to catch up to the decade. Everything changed so fast that he never knew what was acceptable and what wasn't anymore. What dances were considered "too old" and which were "cool"
He lets go of him for a moment, letting Wade change the song, Madonna's 'Like a Prayer' "Wolvie! It's our song!" He squeals, waves his hands happily, shoves the pasta spoon back into the pot then took Logan's hands.
Yeah. Their song. A happy grin comes to his face as he's grabbed.
"Can you swing?"
"S-swing??"
After struggling, swinging around, and Wade getting his toes broken a couple of times, Logan took the lead, deciding to spin him instead, smiling as Wade giggled, only to scream when dipped.
"Don't drop me!!"
"Im not going to drop you!" He reassured him, about to cover his mouth when he heard Vanessa laugh, uncrossing her legs and dropped down.
"Not infront of Nessy!"
"Oh shut up, i'm not going to embarrass you infront of Vanessa-" he turned to her, whispering "I so am"
She laughs again in the way that makes him grin like a little kid, the way her eyes looked at him as if asking to but-in their sorry excuse of a dance, but he wasn't sure who she wanted to dance with until she smiled at him.
"Neeeeesssyy this is supposed to be OUR date! Logan!" He whines drimatically on the like between playful and serious.
"What? It's not my fault your game is weak." Logan teases him, giving her a playful nod, putting his hand out for her to take "Ma'am."
And that's how he got here. In the kitchen, brow raised while Wade snatched V back from him, holding her with a pout. One not so playful.
At first he worries that he messed up. That he flirted a bit too much, made Wade uncomfortable, became the third wheel...
Again.
The third that they wanted to play with but not actually love together.
Logan was used to that. Used to being played with and then scolded by the other partner when they found out about their playing.
So he stands there. Waiting to be yelled at. Waiting for Wade to tell him to stay away from Vanessa.
But it never came. Instead, Wade held her waist, tight, putting his chin on her shoulder, giving an upset look to him. "I thought you wanted to dance with me?"
"...What?"
"We were dancing, and I wasn't done with you!" He complained, now squeezing Vanessa a little more. "And you! You have to wait your turn! He's mine." He tells her, making V laugh, snorting, giggling from the hand placement on her sides.
"Yeah, okay, tough guy. He's yours. And you're mine. So I get seconds, don't I~?" She coes, reaching a half up to hold his cheek with that sexy smirk of hers and pretty siren eyes.
Swallowing, Wade noded quickly. "Yeah- Anything you want- I mean.. Of course... j-Just-" he glances between the two of them. "Stay here. I have to go make a fool of myself."
"Don't you do that already?" She sighs, happily leaning against the counter as he comes to Logan. "You know it, baby!! Hit it Christiana!!"
Ness can't help but laugh when Logans eyes widened, a deep blush coming to his face.
He says, as next on the playlist proceeded to play "Genie in a bottle" by Ms. Aguilera.
Yeah. He wasn't jealous anymore...
Thinking about Wade is having a stay-in date night with Ness, and this means the kitchen light is traded for a colored one, candles, half burnt pasta, cheap wine, and Careless Whisper blasting throughout the appartment complex.
He starts off with some cringy dance while V is up on the counter, rolling her eyes and smiling, but she can't help but feel like there was something different about Wade. Yeah, she knew this dance. She knew the routine of his 'serenade' and his littlw two step slow dance he had going on, making backup sound effects for Mr. George Micheal and eventually grabs the pasta spoon, singing into it.
This is not new, but.. something was. She couldn't put her finger on it but she knew her boyfriend. She knew him well enough to become engaged to him, break up with him, and start dating again.
It was like he was glowing.
But why?
"Tonight the music seems so loud! I wish that we could lose this crowd-" His non existsnt eyebrows wiggle, and Vanessa can't help but to almost spit out her wine.
"Maybe it's better this way, We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say!" He shouts into the pasta sauce covered spoon, leaning into her a bit as she rolls her eyes again, looking up at the ceiling. She knew what Wade wanted. He wanted to "earn" her with his performance.
God.. he really is her peacock, wasn't he?
"We could have been so good together! We could have lived this dance forever!" Taking her arm, He pulls her waist closer to him, connecting their foreheads with those pretty heart eyes of his beaming into hers with such love struck gleam.
"But now who's gonna dance with me? Please staaaayy~" He sings loudly, letting her go enough for V to notice that Logan is now staring too, the same lop sided love struck small smile on his face.
"And I'm never gonna dance again- Guilty feet have got no rhythm!!" He says, dropping onto his knees and arching his back, using her hand to keep his balance.
"You didn't have any to begin with!"
She hears, looking up to see Logan smirking as Wade jumps to his feet. "ExcUSE me!? My bad, not everything is a waltz, old man! Like seriously, when's the last time you could do anything but a simple one two three? Lincoln's wedding!?" He calls over the counter and Logan grunts, his joints popping as he gets off the couch.
Wades eyes widden with dangerous excitment as he turns to her. "Oh now, im in for it!"
"Damn right. I can do more then Waltz, you know."
"Oh, yeah!? Like what? Square dance?!"
"Whats wrong with square dancing!?"
Then it clicked.
Him.
That's what was different about Wade.
Logan had changed him. Unconsiously, for the better. He was so... Happy. He was like a missing puzzle piece to complete Wades purpose of being, mirroring what Wade needed, even if that meant insulting his dancing skills mid date.
Grinning widely like a moron with a crush, he changes the song- Wade was serious. He would never dance with anyone else except V to that song ever again- Pushing next on their shuffle only for Madonna to come on.
Squealing, he waves his hands, shoving the pasta spoon back into the pot then took Logan's hands. "Can you swing?"
"S-swing?- Woah!! Hey!"
"You wanted to dance so were dancing!"
"I didn't say that!"
As she listens to them bicker, she laughs as she watches Logan awkwardly step on Wade's foot multiple times.
"Ouch!! Hey! I'm regenerative, not indestructible! You're like 400 pounds!!" He teases, and the blush on Logan's face is something she wants to take a picture of, watching as he tries to teach Wade how to 'properly dance', spinning him around, holding his wasit and dipping him at certian parts.
"Ahh!! Don't drop me!!"
"I'm not going to drop you, Stop screaming!"
"Ness!! He's gonna drop me!"
She giggles, giving Logan a playful finger wag. "Hey do you mind? He needs all the braincells he can keep!"
"Yeah! Cancer already ate half of them!"
"Oh, sssuurree, just the cancer, definitely not how many times youve made me shove my-"
"Lo-Lo!!! Not in front of Nessy!!" He whines, being spun again.
"Oh shut up, i'm not going to embarrass you infront of Vanessa-" he turned to her, whispering "I so am"
"I HEARD THAT!"
"What? It's not my fault your game is weak." Logan teases him, giving her a playful nod, putting his hand out for her to take "Ma'am."
She laughs, hearing Wade suddenly complain that he wasn't supposed to be stealing his date.
"Maybe she wants to dance with a real man-" Logan coes, gently taking V and spinning her too... Vanessa could see why Wade liked him.. he was quite strong. And a gentleman.
"My gender blindness has NOTHING to do with this!" Wade whined in a high-pitched tantrum like sound, grabbing her waist and pulling her into him instead.
Oh great. And now they were fighting over her.
Gosh... Maybe she has two Peacocks...
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#deadpool 3#wolverine#deadclaws#vanessa carlysle#poolverinessa#Poolveriness#SoundCloud
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it's funny how any decision i ever make that my mom doesn't like is something i do to her and any decision she refuses to take that would improve her life is me shifting blame onto her and nothing is ever her fault and everything wrong with her was done to her and the only times she has ever been wrong was when she is guilt tripping me but don't you dare ever imply to her that she's guilt tripping, oh god no, how dare you imply that her ''heartfelt'' apology (that consists of her taking all the blame and not even a little responsibility) is an attempt to guilt trip you, you're the problem, you just don't want to take responsibility of your life, you're just wasting opportunities served to you on a golden platter, you just picked the easier path, you just picked the harder path, jesus fucking christ mother i really don't want to say it but the truth is this, that for someone who never took a stand for her own life, you sure have opinions to offer about mine
#'i raised you' you fed and watered me and tried to make me into a doll for you to project your unfulfilled dreams onto#and when in spite of the fact that you trained my every instinct to bend over backward to make you happy#when in spite of you i became i person#you have the audacity to say i'm hurting you? where the fuck were you when i was hurting?#why didn't you make an attempt to understand?#you know sometimes i feel bad for badmouthing her so much#but other times i remember how she literally emotionally blackmails me for everything single goddamned thing in the world#from how i live my life to what clothes i wear#that i just can't fucking care.#you wanted me to be an individual? a self dependent person? well i am now. and if you can't deal with it that's your problem.#i don't care if you think that's cold or disrespectful of me
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Found a new, concise way of putting it that I'm gonna try and remember so I can reuse it:
To say, as a straight person, that a queer character's queerness is out of the blue or unrealistic is to claim that they understand the queer experience to be able to identify inaccurate representation of it.
To call a character's queerness out of the blue as a straight person is to claim full understanding of the queer experience.
#YOU ARE NOT A BAD ALLY FOR NOT KNOWING EVERYTHING. YOU'RE A GOOD ONE. IF YOU KNEW EVERYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE YOU GAY NOT AN ALLY.#QUEER PEOPLE ARE NOT JUST YOUR TICKETS TO ELEVATE YOURSELF AS AN ALLY ON THE OCCASIONS THAT YOU WANT TO#WE ARE NOT EVEN IN YOUR PEERS OFTEN. WE ARE YOUR EDUCATORS UNIVERSALLY NOT JUST ON DAYS YOU FEEL UP FOR ADMITTING YOU NEED EDUCATION.#THE DISPARITY IN OUR QUALIFICATIONS IS THAT OF A PROFESSOR AND A STUDENT#AS IS THE AUDACITY OF A STUDENT TO CLAIM EQUAL OR MORE QUALIFICATION#lgbtq#finding ways constantly to rephrase it so people understand why they are not qualified to even attempt to debate#stranger things#also btw this is mostly for straight people because it's an entire different category of this action but no queer person has had every quee#experience either so you can't tell other queer people they're wrong for saying queer characters are realistic either#they match your experience or they don't#straight people have ZERO experience though so it's entirely different because that requires some fucking AUDACITY to claim qualification#mike wheeler#kitty song covey#evan buckley#the entire point of needing more representation is so that you see versions of the queer experience you didn't know about as a straight per#on#we aren't just asking for the same singular queer experience but in a higher quantity across more genres#you have NOT learned everything because you are not able to and that does not make you a bad ally it just makes you a straight person#so when queer people tell you you're wrong DON'T. ARGUE.#'it's unrealistic for them to be queer' really? and list off the exclusive number of ways a person can be queer. right now. go.#people being comfortable with will byers because he represents a queer experience they've seen in the media before#but if they've never seen it on tv before it's 'unrealistic'#no hon. it's unrepresented. there is a very big difference and it's the entire point actually. your lack of education is not your fault but#your denial of it is#lgbtq representation
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whenever ppl try to come up with some version of 'romance and love isn't forbidden by the jedi, on this one novel-'
i'm just...
#star wars#jedi order#jedi critical#sorry no that makes no sense with what's presented through most of the canon#'but it was in this one novel' then that novel it's trying to retcon it or to twist the in-between lines because it doesnt make sense#the belief that the jedi only forbid romance if it's possesive or stops someone from caring about others it's a lovely pink-tinted view#but it doesn't work with canon and the only thing that it accomplishes is attempting to to give anakin a different narrative#which is 'anakin was actually just too stupid too understand what the jedi's teaching meant'#and yes you can make an argument that anakin didn't understand all of the jedi teachings but not in the way this idea proposes#it's actually ridiculous#'anakin why you kept this secret didn't you know romance it's actually allowed by the jedi? we all have our crushes and partners lol'#'you silly the only thing we forbid it's becoming toxic and possesive'#headcanoing or making aus or fics with the jedi as this#big happy hippie family full of pacifists that try to destroy the pillars of traditional conservative nuclear families in pro of free love#it's fine like go ahead headcanon that and make aus of that but when someone comes to try to argue that no it's in fact very canon#it's just...what like come on#EVEN OBIWAN the picture perfect child for most jedi fans said he would've had to leave the order to be with satine aka IT IS FORBIDDEN#i'm going insane or what they told a 9 y/o that missing his mom was path to the dark side but no no they're FINE with romance#how could we miss Yoda's three romantic partners and Mace's being a swinger and also Shaak's polycule Anakin you're just stupid#(he is stupid but not like this lfmao)#fandom stuff#ranting#AND TO BE CLEAR no this isn't an argument about traditional nuclear conservative families or some bullshit being needed#this is me saying the jedi in canon are pretty fairly conservative as it is sorry but they're basically the knight templars with powers#and orientalism in the form of buddhism as a white american man (GL) understood it (badly)
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Thank y'all for your input. It has been recorded. Additional details that were not included in the base post on purpose because it was stuff one or the other wouldn't have considered when deciding if they should apologize:
- B does not have an issue with A's sister, in fact he has offered to let her move in with them. He doesn't want to get between the siblings or to be the reason their relationship breaks apart, but he also doesn't want to lose his partner over the fact she doesn't like him for things that are Largely but not entirely out of his control.
- Sister thinks B is cringe because he's older, an adult goth, deformed, religious, and dating her brother.
- A loves B and, were his Sister not objecting to the relationship, would have 0 major qualms about it. He feels safe and well cared for and like this relationship has the ability to go the long haul otherwise.
- A puts so much weight behind his Sister's opinions because they are twins and still in the overly dependent on eachother phase of twin life. Before moving in with B he had never spent more than a day or two away from her.
- The fight started because A was crying over Sister sorta making him have to choose if he wants her or B in his life. B attempted to soothe while also reminding A that he was the one who offered him a no strings attached place to stay after finding out A and Sister's father was dangerously physically abusive. Sister was giving A a choice over who he wanted in his life more, B wasn't.
- It's a high tension scenario because A and sister are 16. A believes that if his relationship with B fails he'll have to move back in with his abusive father where he'll be in genuine danger.
- B would not do that to A. if their relationship fails A just moves into the guest room. Them being together has never been a condition for B to help him even if A, for his own poor self worth reasons, believes it is.
-Which is why B doesn't understand why it's such a big deal to A. From B's perspective, A is throwing a fit over not being able to have everything go his way and reaffirming that A thinks Sister is right to judge B for his deformities, religion, and past history as she didn't have issues with A pursuing other too old for him men. Her problem with B is that he's B, not that he's 30.
- A however sees it as his Sister making him Chose between a 'safe' home and happy relationship, and the only person A has ever cared about. While B is Making him let go of the only other connection in his life to prioritize the one between them so he can keep his safe home and happy relationship. It doesn't matter if B is sorta right, he's not being given a real choice by their situation and he's blaming B for that.
I as the author was functionally incapable of making A be the one to apologize bc fuck, that boys 16. he should be calling the cops not apologizing. but if you look at things from their perspective, A is absolutely in the wrong and hurt B because of it. thank y'all for affirming that.
ok I have a bottle of vinegar that used to be cheap wine in me now so I'm finally ready to make this post
You are king Solomon and these two assholes walk up to you. It Your job to decide which one has to say "I'm sorry".
Person A is mad at B for trying to make him prioritize their very committed relationship over his sister's approval. Nothing bad will happen to the sister if they stay together, she just thinks B is cringe and that A should dump him.
Person B is mad at A for genuinely considering dumping him and acting embarrassed about being with him because his sister thinks B is cringe.
(context: A should dump B for a Lot of reasons. him being cringe is only the one of them that's the problem right now. B should dump A for a mostly Different list of reasons.)
no third answer. one of these fuckers has to say I'm sorry and it's been holding up this chapter for Months
#source: ive been 16 and in a relationship with a man too old for me. You are Absolutely not taking that facet into account when you're the#kid having a lovers quarrel with a guy who was voting while you were still in diapers.#your friends also don't take that into account bc when you're 16 you think you're all grown up and so this adult is your peer#to suggest that the age gap is the problem is to suggest You aren't mature enough to evaluate a situation#which you aren't but when youre 16 youre the most mature youve ever been up to that point.#the 30 yo could be your coworker#why cant he be your beau etc etc etc
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you absolutely already know this, but i adore your work. i think it's hard to avoid the pressure of being surrounded by people we might consider "true artists," but the fact is that, frankly, everyone who makes art is an artist.
before this year, i hadn't drawn a complete piece in nearly three years. the line work i did produce felt abysmal and i was tempted to give up. then, i saw your comic and i thought, "wow, that's really cute, and it looks like a fun style to emulate."
i drew you, pondering me, eating grass. and it WAS fun. i forgot how fun it could be. i can draw lesbian horses, or pony!WWX throwing a chicken, or me eating grass. i can even make shitty memes! and all of it, no matter how good or how bad, is fun again.
you bring a lot of fun to people here. that's something equally as important as people who cultivate fancy line work or expert level digital painting. i'm sure that's something you know, but i hope it never hurts to hear it.
happy first season, friend! i can't wait to see the rest.
As a chronic perfectionist, it's been a long journey for me to accept that 'done is better than nothing' and that the worst critical voice is my own. Sure there's people who've gone to professional art schools, and those with a more than a decade of experience on me, but honestly? Would I tell a child their sonic drawing isn't art? Just because they have no 'experience' or 'technique'? Absolutely not. So I'm no longer saying my efforts should not count as art.
At the end of the day, art is what we choose to make it. We have the power to create whatever we want. And we are going to use it to have fun! We never lost the love and fun for creation we all had as children, we just told ourselves it wasn't enough. But it really is B*)
#ask#non mdzs#Thank you so much for this very heartfelt message B'*)#This kinda hit hard for me cause this blog isn't actually my first attempts at art (started with the classical florals and life drawing)#but it stressed me out immensely. All I could see was flaws and it made the process miserable knowing I wasn't going to succeed#So I stopped trying. I didn't draw for *years*#The point of Poorly drawn mdzs was always 'it doesn't matter how it looks it matters that I just keep going'#and it made art fun! I was making comics for ME and no one else. The bar was so low and I really could only go up from where I started#I think art block might be 50% fear of failure and 50% the weight of expectations. *That's* why art is perceived as 'hard'.#I'm gonna be fully honest here; your art is GORGEOUS!!! I'm glad you didn't give up B*) Though I understand the feeling.#I have greatly enjoyed chatting and collaborating with you! Thank you for so so many things#I hope to see more of your work again in the future!! I hope you keep finding the joy and fun in the act of creation!#is it not so amazing we can make something out of thoughts in our heads?#Lets all remember that art let's us draw ourselves eating grass and realize how wonderful that is
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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speaking of onion boy (onision)... a very funny/strange/interesting memory i have is that my very first original post on this site when i joined nearly a decade ago was... a multi-paragraph rant absolutely ripping that man a new one because i could see exactly what kind of soulless excuse for a human being he really was and i was frustrated that this concept was not grasped by... his audience of people my age at the time. no introductory post no "how do i use this site" post no nothing. i just came in swinging with pure hatred in my heart.
#tags are not funny btw i am recounting some memory of that idiot.#this was... 2014? i think...#his empire hadn't collapsed yet.#nowadays he's the indebted lunatic who doesn't break over 10k views unless he's going ape.#i haven't kept up with the 'saga' since the Chris Hanson thing. fucker.#does he still owe taxes? and that thing about the... wetlands..?#someone who keeps up with Onision in the legal sense tell me what's happening.#the most recent video i directly watched from his channel voluntarily#was before i made that first ever post and i think it was him trying to tell 'the truth' about his prior relationships.#he made fun of a previous relationship and tried to spin his ex as being crazy.#i don't know if what followed was a reenactment from him or actual footage of something.#he had. way too many videos of real confrontations or lunatic shit from his end. i couldn't tell you if it was an attempt at a story.#either way i came away from the video with an understanding that i was looking at someone who enjoyed inflicting torment.#like that was. startlingly clear to me. and i didn't understand why nobody else recognised it at the time.#just a completely empty human being.#his video where... i don't remember the full thing i just remember he talked about why he was discharged from the military.#i saw it as an attempt to take heat off himself by talking about his problems or whatever.#that was the moment i decided to make the post. like i remember it now.#anyway the spirit of guard-dog barking at weirdo men is alive and well within me.#ask anyone who has had to put up with me long enough for this to be obvious.#i might delete this post later... i don't like talking at-length in this kind of manner anymore.
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they animated this so well... villain origin story right there
Hashirama's new chinese mobile game intro is so evil it looks like he's the main villain of the story🙄
at least Madara looks fine.
#naruto#naruto shippuden#senju hashirama#uchiha madara#hashimada#someone in the comments was saying people are being silly for blaming hashirama for this#like no that's not the problem we're aware madara gave him no choice#and realistically madara went there intending to ''die'' bc there's no other reason for him to be attacking to village#save severing his bond with hashirama and/or giving him closure (and paralleling naruto and sasuke ofc) (and for biting him)#the fact that how hashirama chose to do it was devastating for madara is neither here nor there bc he never seemed to resent it much#no the problem was how and why things got this far out of hand#like genuinely do you think having hashirama kill him via backstab was like. an unintentional narrative decision?#do you not think it perhaps had something to do with what they respectively represent (konoha and the uchiha)?#the problem isn't ''hashirama killed the guy attacking his village with a chakra monster''#the problem is ''hashirama fucked up way before that making this confrontation inevitable''#i mean it was inevitable either way bc zetsu and the indora/ashura thing but they didn't know that so we'll ignore it for now#moreover - hashirama is the one telling the story. he's the one framing it this way#he's very VERY aware of how badly he fucked up and he wants to be sure sasuke is aware of it also#hashirama is the one who decided to take the time to tell sasuke that madara explicitly predicted what would happen to the uchiha clan#and that he - by ignoring his friend's attempts to reach out to him (poorly bc madara's social skills are g-dawful) - holds responsibility#this looks like his villain origin story bc that's exactly what it is#i also disagree with the person who said this was made by someone who didn't like hashirama very much#this feels like it was made by someone who really understands hashirama quite well imo#volume 57 is so good guys it's just *screams forever*#67! 67! I CAN COUNT
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What happened??
oh just louis coming here a whole month earlier for a m&g lol
#his tickets sales aren't the best here#he hasn't sold out anything yet#and i'm pretty not a single section has sold out in curitiba (at least last i checked it hasn't)#são paulo is better but he's doing like 20% of the stadium which is... a choice and i don't understand why they didn't just book the arena#from the previous tour again#but anyways#this makes me think this is a last attempt at selling tickets because you need to have one to have a chance to win the m&g#it doesn't make sense to me him coming a month before his shows for a m&g and interview (my friend mentioned he's got one booked too)#like it's definitely something that could be done while he's here in may
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growing up, my mum always told me, whenever i went to the doctors or any sort of health professional, that it was important that i told them that i was hypermobile. she'd done the tests with me (herself being hypermobile and disabled in large part because of it) and though she didn't know the details, she knew that hypermobility was important to have in my health record.
so it was to my great surprise and displeasure that, whenever i told doctors i was hypermobile, it was skipped over. never addressed, never touched on, not even a comment to belie what that meant for me. i myself didn't know the impact hypermobility could have on a person, but my mother had been insistent about that fact. it was important, so why did no one else seem to think so?
i grew up with kids in school who were on the extreme ends of hypermobility. i knew a boy in middle school who could put both feet behind his head. i knew a girl in high school with long, spindly fingers who showed me how far backwards her arm could bend.
both of them had health problems, which became more profound as they aged. i never knew the details, but it stuck out that they were hypermobile, and so was i, and with my own health declining there HAD to be a connection.
common knowledge gives the vague definition of hypermobility as extra stretchy muscles, of being double-jointed. it comes with warnings not to push your hypermobile body into the extremes. don't overextend, you will hurt yourself.
the warnings are warranted. the importance isn't overplayed. these things i knew, but i didn't know why. and without knowing why, they were warnings that i could never truly obey, despite how conservative i became with my movements in a vain attempt to protect what little ability i had left.
hypermobility is NOT stretchy muscles. muscles are supposed to stretch. in fact, it's important to their health (those conservative movements prolly hurt more than helped!). hypermobility affects connectives tissues, and lands under the umbrella of Ehlers-Danlos Sydromes (there are a few) which can range in severity from affecting skin and tendons to affecting blood vessels and organs.
severity is rare, and much easier to catch. this post is for the people who are "a little hypermobile" so that they can understand what makes their body different.
a muscle and its associated tendons are like a hammock. the muscle is the fabric you lie in, stretching to accomodate the load. tendons are the rope that attaches the fabric to the trees, providing a secure anchor for the muscle to operate.
so, what happens when the ropes on the hammock are also stretchy? well, you sit in the hammock and your ass hits the ground.
now imagine that the fabric of the hammock has the ability to clench like a muscle. a normal hammock doesn't need to work that hard to stop ass from meeting ground, because it has sturdy anchors. a hammock with stretchy rope, however, must exert several times more effort, because the more the muscle pulls, the more the tendons stretch.
in short, hypermobility forces your muscles to work harder, because they must first pass the threshold of stretch the tendons are capable of before it can actually do the task it's meant to do. the stretchier the tendons, the harder the muscle needs to clench, the easier it is to overwork.
this info reframed everything i was doing with my body. small tasks of strength required the effort of much larger tasks, and larger tasks ranged from extremely difficult to impossible. holding my arms up so i could work above my head required monumental effort. with an anatomical peculiarity of the feet, i needed to use several muscles in my calves and hips just to stand without losing balance.
so no fucking wonder i crashed and burned in my 20s, when everything i did took all of my strength to accomplish. no wonder i would contort myself out of shape, so flexible that i could anchor myself into extreme poses just to give my muscles a moment of relief, overstretching myself without ever realizing why, and what damage i could be doing.
so, some things to remember:
overextending isn't good for you, but it shouldn't be your biggest concern. instead, be aware of overexertion, both how LONG you are using a muscle without breaks and how HARD you are using it.
small, frequent breaks are your best friend if you need to do something for awhile.
when you take breaks, stretch the muscles you'd been using.
if you need to exert effort to maintain a pose (whether it's sitting, standing, etc) examine whether you need to be clenching those muscles, and why.
actually whenever you are using muscles, try to train yourself to use as few as possible. you can practice by sitting or standing, and relaxing as many muscles as you can before you tip over. finding a sense of balance can make your life so much easier.
become acquainted with what relaxed muscles feel like. chronic tension can distort your perception of this, and result in habitual tension.
so yeah. if you're hypermobile, that's important. don't let a doctor's dismissal make you think otherwise. take care of yourself and know what you are and aren't capable of.
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