#why did my body do this today | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taylortruther · 2 years ago

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my stomach was in SUCH pain this morning that i took myself to an urgent care... now i'm waiting, have paid my copay, and feel fine 😶

#i have a really high pain tolerance #i was near tears #why did my body do this today

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ef-1 · 2 months ago

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🍷<3

#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad #and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything #i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing #but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT #and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing #and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over #and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop #and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me #and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it #again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that #so I felt guilty throughout #anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely #and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods #heres to healing ❤️‍🩹

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moeblob · 7 months ago

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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

#moe talks a lot #i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry #and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds #LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO #shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds #BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER #i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up #i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong #after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before #YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain #oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older #and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds #holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang #sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat #but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like #welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant #anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain #im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake #but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry #anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering

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bambeebirdie · 1 year ago

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This is for @bluepeachstudios ‘s Ghost in a Shell. It’s really good you should read it.

I looked at exactly one picture of Jupiter Jim and went “yeah this should be enough to draw him.” I will not be answering if it actually was

Have some bonus content under the cut!

And sketches

(I love any character who can say “I don’t want to go back to prison” it’s like the funniest thing to me)

#i don’t know what compelled me to hand write that text. it’s not very good #we just don’t do things the easy way here. that’s why I render with an app on my phone. i don’t believe in simplicity #i had a plan for a lot more full body shots but then I couldn’t find any good lair references so I decided to screw it #I’ve never drawn rise characters before. this is my first time drawing them and expressions wow #I’m not very good at style copying and my default is so much rounder than rise is so that was just a woof #i should say all text in these shit posts aren’t canon at all. you can figure out where they likely take place yes #but they never show up in story #just a little fyi incase anyone decides to check it out #the entire inspiration for this post was just watching 2003 and going #WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DID THAT??#ghost causally dropping the most wild facts about his life has like endless shit post potential #yeah I went to space. stole a ship. went to jail. aided a fugitive. held a dictator at gunpoint #and folks that’s just one arc. go watch 2003 #i debated making angst as it is likely more currently topical but I’m a shit poster at heart #chapter 29. how we feeling boys? I’m actually doing rather well. i think just the fact the build up is over and I’m so tired I no longer #have emtions I’m just pumped for the next chapter whoo!#i started to lose mojo very fast while doing this but I wanted to finish today so I did. i hope it’s not too obvious #yeah anyways go read ghost in a shell #go watch 2003 #go read ghost in a shell #i’m gonna go to bed now #ghost in the shell #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2018 #fan fiction recommendations #fan art of a fan fic #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003

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wouteke · 11 months ago

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#mathieu van der poel #wout van aert #So much. To say about this i cant even caption it because im going crazy #First of all matje little shoulders walking in. awesome. touching his own ass as an idle animation. my favorite. wout ALSO doing this #right after he does? ok. also them walking up the stairs... why do i go so crazy over walking #the MAIN attraction of this video of course being matje growling. HELLOOO BABYBYYY????#All of his little faces i could actually die... What are you doing. also is it just me or did wout look kind of miserable today #even mathieu didnt look so excited but thats more normal #ALSO MATJE STUPID SITTING DOWN. AND THE BODY. AND ONCE AGAIN CANI JUST POINT OUT THE FACES #anyway how do i get one of those duck.s

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astramachina · 2 months ago

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being on testosterone while inhabiting a body that's falling apart, including a disease that went undiagnosed for twenty years and has rendered my insides permanently scarred to the point that i will never be able to live a pain free life, drives me fucking insane. because said disease is hardly studied in cis women, doctor are just left flustered and twiddling their thumbs when my ass entered the chat.

"testosterone should slow the progression" cool, then why am i getting flare-ups that increase in frequency and severity. "uuuuuuh a full removal will probably do the trick but honestly we tend to leave a chunk in to help regulate women's bodies so we have no fucking idea whether or not we should go ahead and do something similar to you so you should talk to your doctor--" idk how to tell you but YOU ARE MY DOCTOR.

i'm tired, scoob. yeah the pelvic pain/lower back pain sucks ass to the point where i have to walk hunched over, but even that pales to the anxiety of having my abdomen and chest be in pain. just. christ.

#texts.#medical cw #ranting about it when i know hardly anyone is on.#had a hard one with my therapist today and just. ugh.#my levels are out of whack and they're unsure as to why but they think it might be my body just fighting inflammation #which they tried to curb with a dumb special diet that did not work even after seven months.#so now it's like 'best we can do is pain meds until we can get you into surgery' which i KNOW i'm not gonna take #bcs i have serious hangups about pain meds.#man. MAN.#i'm just gonna crawl into bed and deal with this tomorrow.#me and my tylenol and my heating pad and my cat.

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bigbighouse · 3 months ago

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doppelgängers will have you having a life altering freakout in the bathroom of a pizza restaurant

#i need to stop 🛑 crying and get back to work immediately #he looked just like him. JUST like him #and my brain knows it couldn’t be him. he’s not getting out for ten years at least even if he makes parole #he’s probably going to die in there.#and my brain remembers the way our entire lives tilted backwards the day us kids found out why we could never see him again #but my body doesn’t know that. and i hate myself knowing that even with everything he did if i saw him today #i would just want to cry and run into his arms.because i miss him. God help me #God why did he do it. to my sweet mama. to my dear beautiful grandma. so many lives ruined for what. why did he do it to us #ugh what is the use of even writing all this. i’m deleting it after work #christ have mercy.

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toytulini · 7 months ago

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the challenge of i should commission art of my ocs. would love to commission like, siiyr or bokrae, maybe krachyn or jula. siiyr or bokrae would make the most sense, maybe krachyn. i think theyre the ones with the most detailed notes on their anatomy

but also

oh god i cannot subject another artist to the anatomical war crimes i committed in making these ocs

#toy txt post #ig id be best off commissioning someone w a lot experience w like. centaurs. let alone commisioning them actually doing anything #interesting. the good bad news is ai cant do it either. fucking i cant even do it. why did i make these bitches. i gave bokrae a gf #but shes not. she cant even. her lips dont really do a kiss shape shes all teeth #siiyr has too many fucking elbows and a weird skull situation #bokraes skull continues to break my brain. i think it does break physics in universe. birdie did weird shit w that eye #its constantly trying to explode #the art ideas i have for bokrae and siiyr have plagued me for years even now in my depression funk of no new ideas #i cant bring myself to subject other artists to them?????#i should specify Bokrae's teeth more tho probably. i used to jokingly explain it away as she has all the teeth/they change #and. they do. canonically birdie has to replace all of her bones over time especially her skull. but also #that was me being lazyyyyyyyyyyyy #idk i know you dont necessarily need like a super detailed ref sheet to commission things but like. if i was commissioning my own ocs id #want that probably?#maybe i will try to draw the girls today. probably not doing anything interesting #bc i have not drawn for One Billion Years and im out of practice with Normal Human Anatomy let alone #these fucking Monsters #also maybe one day ill figure out Jared #pigeon head on a deaths head moth body with gemstone eyes is something i can see in my head but when i try to draw it it doesnt look right #so. need to work on that? the main thing about jared is that he needs to Scuttle #and id like to incorporate a pigeon #hm #hmmmmmmm

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iiboronii · 6 months ago

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i'm so bored and i need something to do but idk what that something is

#can anybody hear me?#i have tried art today but. good god do i hate looking at what i made and hating it #i know everyone who does art feels that way or whatever but like #MAN WHY DID I GIVE UP BEING A WEIRD ART KID IN MIDDLE SCHOOL I COULD BE SO GOOD NOW #i could be using my skills to run the -ler blog of my dreams rn #WHYYYYYY DID I GIVE UP DRAWING WHEN I WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL #what did i even replace that hobby with ???? scrolling?????????? fml #i am about to start googling tutorials of how to draw basic things and just follow youtube tutorials for fun #anyways.#i think that i might go on a walk about it because my body feels weird and fluttery and usually that's a sign i need to MOVE #good lird i need to go back to college

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twodiamondhoes · 23 days ago

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Where we're at:

19 hours and counting on Very Little Sleep (thank you Mr. Dog)

My mind has been focused so much on Only Silver that I apparently conjured up a memory of running an idea past my partner that never... actually occurred.... (I fully remember talking to Jim about something in the car. I can picture exactly what intersection we were at and what we were listening to. We did not actually ever discuss this plot point. I felt like my brain was melting. Good to know that Dream!Jim is also an excellent plot snarl rubber duck?)

Dog has given me a headache

Room is starting to spin

Update will happen tomorrow first chance I get, so that I can look over it properly without my eyeballs melting out of my skull. 👍

#Sorry babes I did my best but whoo booy today has been Against Me #that feel when you push yourself past your chronic pain limits and remember why those are your limits #<- been doing too much physical activity for my body to keep up with esp. since I'm still healing.#turns out doing hefty cardio every weekday and then Being Social on the weekend is exhausting. Who knew!

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heartshattering · 7 months ago

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5 AM

Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃

#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous #and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep #I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip #I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home #(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today #and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too #BUT I also get what she meant #not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact #a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like #the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes #(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever #same with my mom's hallucinations as well #and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again #which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything #like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds #and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well #which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up #I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today #didn't eat #took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all #had too much caffeine #stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking

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moeblob · 7 months ago

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What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.