#why did he fall for the WRONG JOSH

[chelseeebe]

we can’t be friends.

a little fake dating situation in which eddie must pretend to be your boyfriend to keep up pretences, but then feelings start to become hazy and now he’s not sure if you could ever be just friends again.

a/n: i’m reading this back and actually not liking it as much as i first did hahahaah but i hope you enjoy!! i just wanted to reiterate my hate for the duffers and the fact that they didn’t give him any other t-shirt other than that dang hellfire one>:(

18+. mdni. smut. mentions of bad parent/s. modern au i guess but it’s hardly mentioned. no use of y/n!

eddie wasn’t expecting to walk in to you so stressed.

it was the usual thursday movie night but you’d answered the door with a green complexion and the look of a deer in headlights.

“what’s wrong?” he perplexes, shutting the door behind him as you continue to pace the living room floor.

you sigh, blinking at him as you stop for a few seconds. you’re contemplating something, sizing him up with your eyes narrowed. it makes him a little unsettled if he’s honest.

“next week, are you free?”

“what?” wondering what the hell that had to do with your nervous exterior.

“are you free?” you press.

“uh.. probably, why?” not an inch of sense in your words.

“you wanna come on vacation with me? i mean- it’s not so much a vacation but a family reunion, but can you come?” chewing on your fingernail.

“when? what? why?” rattling through all of his questions all at once.

you sigh again, frustrated with his lack of understanding, “family reunion, i can’t do it alone eds..” your hands cycle around the air, “josh was supposed to come with me but obviously.. that’s not happening so can you come?”

eddie’s face finally un-scrunches. it all made sense now.

you’d spoken enough about your crazy parents and subsequently just why you’d moved halfway across the country to get away from them to understand why you didn’t want to go on your own.

he’d also been elated when you’d told him that you and josh had broken up. eddie had never liked him, in fact, if were given the chance, he thinks he’d punch him square in the face.

that hadn’t really helped you of course, so he kept it mostly to himself. but if the opportunity were ever to arise, he’d do it. no shame.

“oh, shit, why didn’t you just ask me in the first place?” he laughs, rolling in his eyes in jest as he collapses on the couch.

“i’ve asked everyone.. and i mean, everyone and they couldn’t, i was scared!” your body relaxes, coming to join him on the couch.

“oh thanks,” eddie scoffs, “so i was the last resort?”

“no,” you prod him in the side, “i didn’t think you’d wanna come, that’s all.”

“yeah right,” chuckling as you hand him a beer, “i don’t mind, i’ll suffer for you,” popping the lid off and taking a swig.

“thank you,” you exhale, leaning back against the couch, “really. it means a lot.”

“so what are we doing? skiing? sightseeing?” eddie probes, making himself comfortable.

you scoff, “oh no, it’s at my aunt’s beach house in illinois.. it’s big enough for you to have your own room and shit, you’ll just have to pretend to like craft beer and talk baseball with my dad.”

eddie’s head hits the back of the couch, groaning loudly, “baseball? man, i dunno if i can make it anymore.”

you throw him the dirtiest glare, “you’re not funny.”

despite your words, he falls into a fit of laughter truly not making your scowl any lesser. he knows you appreciate him deep down, given the fact that you hadn’t hit him yet.

-

the drive across indiana isn’t too bad, eddie only wishes he hadn’t let you control the music for the entirety of the journey.

“just..” you exhale, glancing warily over at him from the passenger seat, “just be normal, okay? don’t let them piss you off,” nodding with every word.

“you don’t trust me?” he grins, earning a deathly glare. “i won’t piss them off.. don’t worry,” turning his sarcastic mocking into kindness.

your eyes squeeze shut before you slide out of the door, doubting your choice to bring eddie along.

your parents open the door with a wide smile and their arms extended, pulling you in before looking over at eddie, obviously slightly taken aback with the man at their door.

he offers his hand out, “i’m eddie, nice to meet you sir,” feeling very judged and not at all surprised, not with all your horror stories.

your dad takes his hand, gripping on tight as he eyes him up and down, “so this is the boyfriend,” humming quietly, “it’s good to finally meet you, son.”

eddie freezes, eyes sliding from your parents to you to find you in the exact same position.

boyfriend?

“uh..” you fumble, mouth opening and closing somewhat like a fish, “yes! yes.. this is him,” chuckling nervously.

oh shit.

his week of rest and relaxation was about to become a week of performing and lies.

you watch eddie anxiously, your eyes speaking a thousand words. praying he doesn’t mess up, doesn’t embarrass you in front of them.

“yeah.. yeah, that’s me,” he nods hurriedly, going to shake your mom’s hand, “lovely to meet you.. miss.”

now eddie wasn’t opposed to pretending to be your boyfriend but fuck, really? he needed at least a week to prepare and rehearse, rather than you throwing him into a week of improvisation at a whim.

the literal second the door to your shared bedroom shuts, eddie spins on his heel, jaw clenched with an exasperated expression.

“what the fuck?” he whispers, rather loudly.

“i’m sorry!” you hush back, eyes wide, “i- i.. i didn’t have a choice! fuck, i’m really sorry,” anger turning to regret as you flop onto the bed, head in hands.

well great. now he feels guilty. you’re almost sobbing when he joins you on the bed, pressing his lips together in frustration.

“hey! it’s fine.. it’s fine,” he assures, “shit, it’ll be fun,” bumping his shoulder into yours playfully.

you sniffle pathetically, looking up at him with tearful eyes, “i’m really sorry.. i panicked,” bottom lip wobbling.

god, you look like the reincarnation of bambi.

his heart pangs, guilt wracking his chest for the slight overreaction.

“i know,” nodding slightly, “it’s okay.. it’ll be funny, you know?” he’s not sure that it’ll be anymore funny than it’ll be stressful, but he’s prepared to see this week through.

for you.

-

it’s the little things that make a relationship a relationship. things eddie hadn’t ever considered.

like the seemingly insignificant touches and the casual kisses. all things he now had to meticulously plan and prepare for.

nothing was ever too much. a gentle peck on the cheek or a graze of the knee. things no one would really notice unless you weren’t doing them.

you grab his hand walking to the table for dinner and he almost starts cackling until he remembers, now hoping that his palm wasn’t sweating too much.

that night in bed, you turn to face him, tiny smile creeping onto your face, “i think my cousin likes you, i mean- did you see the look on her face when you walked into dinner?”

eddie lets his phone fall onto his chest, flabbergasted at your suggestion, “what are you talking about?”

you hit his arm, furrowing your brows, “c’mon, she was totally checking you out, don’t pretend you didn’t notice,” rolling your eyes in jest.

if he’s honest, he really didn’t notice.

he’d been too preoccupied by you in that damn dress to care about anyone else at the table.

eddie didn’t get to see you dressed up often and the dress was sitting just right, he couldn’t exactly focus on much else.

“oh, are you getting jealous?” he mocks.

you tut, shaking your head, “maybe after we’ve fake-broken up you two can get together.”

“you are jealous,” he laughs, sliding his phone onto the nightstand and settles into bed, “what if i don’t wanna fake-break up?” only half-serious as he says it.

“well then i’ll get a fake-restraining order against you,” poking your tongue out before turning the lamp off. “goodnight, eddie,” he can hear the smile in your voice as you roll over.

there’s a quiet, niggling little voice somewhere in the back of his mind. or maybe it’s his heart speaking.

whatever it is, he doesn’t feel the need to acknowledge it. at least not right now anyway.

-

eddie supposes that a vacation at your aunt’s beach house would entail seeing you in little clothing but he can’t help the little woah from leaving his mouth when you walk out of the bathroom in a tiny bikini top.

“don’t be fucking weird,” you frown, eyes trailing down to his hot dog swimming trunks.

“i’m not!” he exclaims, still trying to draw his eyes away from your chest, “i’ve just never seen.. them,” eyes widening at your revealing bikini.

your eyes roll to the back of your head, expressing your disgust with a small groan.

the entire day is made significantly harder by your top, or lack thereof. eddie finds his gaze slipping downward and every so often has to remind himself that he’s not actually your boyfriend and he doesn’t have the rights to ogle you.

it’s just hard to focus on a thing your dad says to him when you’re sat in front of him like that.

his limits are tested when your cousin suggests a game of tennis. already calling eddie for her team as you get into position on the opposite side of the court.

perhaps you were right, her unnecessary, constant touching sent alarm bells ringing in his head. not that he’s paying it any mind, too distracted by your chest as you bound around the court.

so much so, he completely misses the ball, letting it bounce off of the court and into a hedge somewhere.

“eddie!” she shrieks, running off to collect the ball.

your eyes lock from over the net, your brows threaded together, “how about we swap teams? you join me,” pointing your finger at his face, gesturing for him to join you, which he does with a smile.

mostly just glad to be away from her wandering hands but also, he gets to prove a point.

“you are jealous,” eddie smirks, hushed tones as he speaks into your ear. you’re so close now, enough to touch.

he wants to.

he wants to so bad.

even if it were just to make your cousin seethe with envy.

“me? never,” smacking your racket gently at his leg, earning a nasty glare from your unhappy cousin who smacks the ball far too harshly towards him.

-

he’s too hot and bothered to do much after such an exciting game of tennis, walking in stride with you as you enter the large house. blabbering away about something or nothing when your mom announces her presence rather loudly.

“oh god,” pulling a face as she eyes your outfit, “you really should coverup sweetie, nobody wants to see that,” cackling away to herself.

eddie’s floored, utterly stunned that she’d ever say something like that, let alone to your face. your despairing expression stabs him in the heart, choking him from the inside out.

“well i do,” grinning at the lady in front of him.

“of course you do, you’re a man,” the older woman sighs, “i think it’s a little disgusting to just.. have everything out there,” gesturing to your chest, “women should have pride in their appearance, you know?”

you blink, chewing the inside of your lip as you nod. shrinking into yourself as you glide up the stairs. in an ideal world, he’d call her a bitch and move on with his life, however, he supposes that probably wouldn’t be wise.

she tuts, shaking her head at the stairs, “she’s always so offended.. can’t say a thing to her.”

eddie bites his tongue, diverting from what he truly wanted to say to offer some mild criticism, “maybe you shouldn’t have said anything at all,” shrugging as he flies past her and up the stairs, hot on your trail.

the bedroom’s empty though the en-suite door is closed, a muffled sniff coming from the other side. he hates that she’s made you cry, that she’s capable of even making you feel bad when you had absolutely zero reason to.

his knuckles rap against the door, pressing his cheek to the wood, “it’s me.”

there’s a small scuffle and then the lock clicks though the door remains closed. having to console you after the amazing afternoon you’d had feels wrong.

he creeps inside, closing the door behind him. you’re slouched on the toilet, tears leaking down your warm cheeks. it’s a punch to the gut to see you like this. all those harsh stories you’d recalled to him suddenly made a shit ton of sense.

“you okay?” eddie asks, the answer already overwhelmingly obvious.

“yeah,” you sigh, wiping your sodden cheeks, sniffling for good measure.

“you shouldn’t listen to her,” he affirms, perching on the bathtub, “don’t let her upset you.. it’s not worth it,” although his words probably fall on deaf ears, you already know this.

“i know..” staring up at him with your puppy dog eyes, “i’m sorry, she just.. ugh,” snarling your lip, “she knows how to make me feel like shit.”

“what the hell are you apologising to me for?” eddie jokes, poking you in the arm, “she’s just jealous,” choosing wisely where to go from here, “she doesn’t look as good as you do and she doesn’t like that.”

his words crack a tiny smile on your lips, mission accomplished.

“thanks,” you nod, “i mean that. thank you for even coming with me.. i couldn’t do it without you.”

his heart swells a little, or a lot really.

this is a dangerous game, he thinks. wanting nothing more than to cradle you in his arms.. blur the boundaries a little more.

how much more blurred could they possibly get before eddie had to admit to his feelings?

he’s not sure he wants to find out.

-

on reflection, it had been a pretty good week. at least eddie thinks so, pretending to be your boyfriend wasn’t exactly normal or anything he’d ever pictured himself doing. but he’s enjoyed it nonetheless.

despite a new found, deep hatred for your mother, he doesn’t think the rest of your family were that bad. willing to volunteer for any other vacations you might be forced to drag him on.

nowhere near as testing as he once thought it would be. in reality, the hardest part about it all was that he had to go home alone tomorrow.

as both of you lounge on the bed, the tv prattling on in the background, he smiles, gently elbowing you in the side.

“y’know this week has been fun,” reminiscing on all the stupid things he’s had to do to sell this story.

one night, you had helped yourself to a little too much wine. stumbling all over the vast garden as your family watched on in horror. so eddie did what any good boyfriend would do and slung you over his shoulder, giggling into his back as he manoeuvred his way up to your room.

not only the public displays of affection come back to him, but also the seemingly minuscule ones. where only you were involved. sneaky laughs and glances that only the two of you could understand.

“mhm,” you hum, sliding your bookmark into your book, “it has, thank you for doing this,” before leaning over to place your book onto the bedside table.

“i’ve enjoyed it,” he meets your eye, that same uncomfortable fluttering starts again in his chest, “being your ‘boyfriend’ i mean.”

you shuffle, turning to face him properly, “well.. i’ve enjoyed being your girlfriend,” lips twitching into a smile.

there’s something in the silence, a tension that feels ready to burst.

eddie does something he might live to regret, something so idiotic and foolish that put your entire friendship at risk.

he leans forward, hastily connecting your lips in what must be the world’s most awkward kiss.

you hesitate for too long of a moment, jerking your head back to stare into his eyes.

he’s done it. he’s ruined the single best thing he had left.

an apology begins to form on his tongue but your lips silence him, your hand finding his cheek to bring him closer. eddie’s eyes fall shut, slowly accepting this, that you wanted it too.

he repositions himself, at your mercy as you tug on his hair, now hovering above your body, elbows sinking into the mattress.

he can feel you now, your chest brushing against his, the way your heart rate seems to match his, thumping away in your chest.

“we should.. we should stop,” eddie pulls away, breathlessly panting with your lips still tracing over one another.

“no.. no,” you shake your head, your eyes shiny and full of something he can’t place.

“what?”

“kiss me again,” you demand.

he’s not quite certain he’s hearing you right. fear had forced him to tear himself away but now you were asking for him to do it again?

eddie falters for a second too long, forcing you into kissing him, smashing your lips to his as your fingers scramble to find the back of his neck under his hair.

oh my god oh my god oh my god.

your entire family are in this house and he’s going to desecrate this innocent bed with you, his fake-girlfriend.

he feels your knee slide up his thigh, allowing him more space between your legs. now it’s more than just your chests meshed together, his poor sweatpants tightening with every slight buck of your hips. blood rushing to his cock as you gasp and sigh into his mouth.

he has to pull himself back into the room when your hand slides from his neck to his crotch, lightly tracing over his throbbing cock.

making out could be easily laughed off but this- this was serious.

“you.. you wanna do this?” he asks, gasping for breath as you continue to kiss at the side of his mouth.

“i want to do this,” you reaffirm, dipping your hand into the waistband of his sweatpants, drawing out a hoarse groan from his throat.

your hand wraps around the base of his cock, leaving a trail of kisses to his jaw.

his eyelids flutter, struggling to stay open as you start pumping your fist, thumb circling his leaking tip.

“oh my god,” eddie breathes, jolting his hips into your fist.

this entire week he had been internalising all of these intrusive thoughts and feelings about you and now it felt like he might genuinely cum all over your hand, not even five minutes into this.

it doesn’t at all help when you’re panting and writhing around underneath him, delicate fingers making him feel like he’s flying.

“f-fuck,” he stutters, grabbing your forearm, “you have to stop,” regaining just enough composure to reopen his eyes.

“why?” concern rippling through your voice.

now he falters, gazing into your lust filled eyes, pupils all blown out and crazy. it would be despicable if he were to divulge his embarrassing secret to you.

so he takes your arm, pinning it above your head before starting his descent, a paper chain of kisses and light grazings down your neck and chest.

it’s entirely too intimate for just friends, fake relationship or not.

“oh,” you sigh, head rolling back onto the pillow.

eddie has control now, regaining power without a damn clue of what to do with it. your shorts come down with his free hand with a little help from you, your ankle now comes to rest on his shoulder.

he should feel stronger than he does, rather more intimidated and fearful that he’s going to disappoint.

“please..” you pout, “please touch me,” he wonders if you can sense his anxiety.

he lets go of his grip on your wrist, trailing down your quivering body until he meets your lower stomach. this new position allows him access to your heat, wet and waiting for him.

“shit,” he mutters, sliding a solitary finger between your slick folds, watching as your chest heaves in response. “you’re so pretty,” he can’t help but blurt out.

“shut up and touch me,” you snap, chasing his touch with your hips.

eddie’s not going to deprive you of that now, is he?

circling around your clit, noting the way you groan and grab onto his arm. not that he thinks that there’ll ever be a second time for this.

your eager hands grab at his sweatpants, hoping that that’ll be enough of a hint.

he’s not going to last long, that’s for certain.

fed up with his stalling, you tug his sweatpants down, aiding him in sliding them off and onto the floor with a muffled thump.

your arms fan out across the mattress, glancing down at the minimal space between your bodies and then back into his eyes.

his entire body shudders as he slides into your eager cunt, bumbling through all of the profanity in his vocabulary. watching as your jaw falls slack, wary that you couldn’t make too much noise.

perhaps it was the fact that he’d been brushing off any even slightly sexual thought for an entire week or maybe it was just true but eddie swears that no one had ever felt this good before.

“fuck,” he wails, hips slamming against the backs of your thighs, digging his fingertips into the soft, mailable flesh of your hip.

just the way you grip onto the blanket makes him dizzy, letting his eyesight go hazy, a blurred picture of you sprawled underneath him.

the pleasure is insurmountable, something snapping in his stomach when your hand reaches out for him, gripping onto his forearm.

“eds,” you gasp, just loud enough over his barely contained grunts, “more,” sickening eyes doing all the work for you.

there’s not much more of him left to give, already nudging against your soft spot, repositioning your calf higher on his shoulder to allow him deeper, receiving a sweet whimper in return.

“yeah,” you pant, over and over, fingernails latching onto his skin. his arms start to shake, still holding himself up over you as his orgasm begins to catch up with him.

“shit.. i don’t- i don’t think..” eddie swallows, struggling to stay composed as you tighten around him, looking up at him through batting eyelashes.

it makes his stomach twist, barely able to move as his high comes crashing down, overtaking his senses, sweaty bodies colliding as he collapses on top of you.

“oh shit.. oh my god,” he whines, release painting your thigh, the sheet and even your fucking t-shirt.

he’s not ready for a child but he’s certain that’d have been worth it.

eddie glances at you, subsequently moving from your body onto the mattress. the entire high he had been feeling comes tumbling down, now faced with the reality that you were no longer just friends.

the ceiling becomes incredibly interesting, both of you avoiding eye contact as the silence somehow grows louder.

for a room that was just full of lewd, filthy noises, it sure is quiet now.

the blanket rustles and eddie dares a peek, you stand at the edge of the bed, disheveled and still slightly flustered.

you look down at the stain he had left, tutting quietly, “thanks a lot.. gonna have to change now,” adding a soft chuckle.

“sorry.. cheaper than a baby though,” adding to your banter, it’s indescribable the relief he feels.

eddie watches as you rummage around in your suitcase, no longer shying away as you pull your shirt over your head, shimmying into your clean clothes.

when you rejoin him in bed, the tension is mostly gone, the lamp clicking off, encompassing the room in total and utter darkness.

there’s a further moment of silence wherein eddie isn’t sure if he should bolt and hide or embarrass himself further and say something stupid.

something- someone, brushes against his ribcage as you shuffle, your hand coming to rest on his stomach.

there’s not a word exchanged between you but eddie takes the hint, sliding your hand further over his midriff. it’s a pathetic attempt at cuddling but it makes him flutter all the same.

-

eddie wakes up sprawled face first across the bed, blinking at the bright light, not a trace of you in the room.

he fucked up. he fucked up so bad that you’ve decided to find your own way home and left him here.

shit.

he clambers out of bed, pulling his hastily discarded sweatpants back on, remembering every last detail of your night last night.

the guilt comes in waves, and then embarrassment and shame jump in to make it worse.

years of friendship down the drain and for what?

he just about builds enough courage to leave the room and venture downstairs, creeping out onto the hall when you come bounding up the stairs, meeting him in the cramped corridor.

“hi,” smiling coyly, playing the oblivious game.

“hey,” he nods, reciprocating the smile.

nothing was ruined. you’re fine.

“i was just coming to wake you..breakfast’s ready,” you fiddle with your thumbs, a completely different version of yourself than the one he saw last night.

“oh good,” eddie blinks, “i’m starving,” wanting to smash his palm into his face the second the words come out.

“great!” you exclaim, the painful cringe coming through on your face too.

the two of you walk down the stairs in silence, sitting at the table with a small knowing glance.

this house is huge. he’s sure no one else would’ve heard.

he’s midway through his coffee when your dad leans across the table, probing the two of you, “so, will you be trying for kids anytime soon?”

eddie damn near chokes on the searing hot liquid, coughing his gulp back up into the mug, combatting the burning sensation travelling down his throat and also up into his cheeks.

why would he ask that? over breakfast no less.

“uh no.. nope,” you answer for him, thankfully.

“that’s a shame,” your father stands from the table, sliding his plate into the soapy water before making his way over to eddie, clapping him on the back, “you’re gonna have to make an honest woman outta her first son,” before shuffling off into the living room.

he wants to die. in fact, he’d much rather the ground open up and swallow the two of you alive than to be sat at this breakfast table.

judging by the look on your face, you share the sentiment.

-

he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you. he’s going to tell you.

he’s just not sure when or how. it’d be unfair for him to unload his feelings unto you at the beginning of the journey, not to mention also extremely inconvenient if you didn’t feel the same.

but then he’s also acutely aware that if he doesn’t force those words out soon, that they may never come out.

he’s just finished loading your bags into the back of his van, admittedly a little sad to be leaving.

it’s like, he could no longer pretend that what was going on was real. that last night might’ve just been a mistake and you want to cut ties here.

your phone blares from your hand, holding up a finger as you walk away to take the call.

eddie rehearses what he’s going to say to you. well, tries to.

i think you’re super cool, how about i become your boyfriend for real?

he cringes at the thought of it, it wasn’t really the declaration of love that you deserved.

the door opening startles him, your demeanour had done a complete one eighty, your shoulders slumped as you slide into the seat in silence.

“you all good?” eddie asks, wondering what had changed in such a short time.

“uh.. yeah.”

“y’sure?” he probes, not entirely convinced by your change in attitude.

“that was josh,” you swallow, looking straight ahead out of the windscreen, “he wants to see me when i’m back.. to talk.”

“oh,” he replies flatly, “wow okay.”

the life he had dreamed slowly crumbled before him, it was foolish to think that you’d just want to settle down with him now. he’d gotten ahead of himself and now had to reap the consequences.

“yeah..”

eddie doesn’t utter another word, instead, turning the key and starting the long, painful drive home.

maybe he’ll throw himself out of the van on the interstate. punishment for letting himself even slightly believe that you’d be interested in him too.

-

josh is waiting outside of your building when eddie pulls up, smug grin in tow.

tempted to just keep driving, smash into the side of his expensive shiny car and then reverse over his spindly little body.

that doesn’t happen of course.

instead, eddie keeps his head ducked low, muttering a low see you later before you clamber out. there’s so much left unsaid, even a complete idiot could see that.

he doesn’t watch as you walk over to your ex, certainly doesn’t want to see how his hands meet the small of your back and the way you seem to relax into his touch.

not a chance.

it’s eating him alive. even with the windows rolled down entirely, he’s sweating. as if it’s gnawing at his skin, trying to find a way out.

fuckfuckfuck.

tyres screech along the tarmac, his hands shaking as he turns the wheel. something otherworldly and dangerous overtakes his senses as he tears off back down the same road he’d just traveled.

and maybe he’d regret it and maybe it’d ruin your friendship forever but this week couldn’t have been for nothing.

you had to at least know.

eddie’s palms are wet, holding onto the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip. he doesn’t recall the journey to your apartment being so fucking long but he feels like he’s in this stuffy van for an eternity.

the moment he pulls onto that familiar street, bile rises in his throat.

maybe josh would have sweet talked his way back into your life and he’d get his ass beat. or maybe you’d laugh him out of there, telling him to never contact you again.

he supposes that there’s not much left to lose now.

eddie hops out of his van without so much as a look back, bounding up the short path as the door swings open, nearly knocking him for six.

“eddie,” you remark, phone gripped in your hand. your jaw hangs open, what looks like tears stain your cheeks. “i was trying to call you.”

frankly, he’s still out of breath from the exhilaration of it all, struggling to find his words as he stares gormless at you, “my phone’s dead.. i didn’t- didn’t know.. what’s wrong?” mind immediately jumping to josh.

what had he done?

“nonono.. nothing’s wrong, i just..” you trail off, your gaze not once breaking, “why are you here?”

eddie’s mind goes blank, why was he here?

to tell you that he thinks he’s in love with you? he can’t say that.

“you.. left something- in the van.”

idiot.

total fucking fool.

“oh!” swallowing the shock of his arrival, “what? what is it?”

why are you both dancing around this? he’s sure you feel it too. maybe. that could be the adrenaline speaking.

“nothing.. you didn’t leave anything- i don’t know why i said that.” shaking his head, if he weren’t so nervous, he’d have been crippled with embarrassment. “look, i have to tell you something,” biding his time, hoping your crazed ex won’t pop out of a bush and pummel his head into the ground.

“eddie..” you start, that solemn tone he was dreading to hear.

“no, let me say it,” he tries again, clearing his throat, “i need to s-“

“-eddie,” cutting him off mid-sentence, bounding up to him with your arms extended, throwing them around his neck as you press your lips to his.

it’s almost enough force to knock him on his ass, his hands coming to meet your waist in an attempt to stabilise both of you.

you pull away, lips still pouted slightly, “sorry.. what were you gonna say?”

eddie can’t recall a word of the speech he’d halfheartedly rehearsed. “well shit.. doesn’t matter now,” once again pressing his lips to yours, swaying in the evening breeze as everything seems to fall into place.

[bellysoupset]

Sick at Home - Part 2

-

Vince woke up a little past midnight, with the noise of the front door opening and closing.

There was giggling down the hall and Vince sighed, peeling Liv off of him — she was knocked out and still burning up, but not quite as much as before.

Downstairs, the living room lights were off, but the kitchen was on and Vince leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed, watching as Rita and Maryann, Sophia's friends, scoured the fridge for food. His own sister was slumped over the kitchen island, head in her hands and clearly drunk.

"Uh-hum," Vince cleared his throat and the two girls squealed, jumping up. Sophia simply lifted up her head and let out a groan.

"Mr. Monacelli-" "Mr. Moan- I mean, Monacelli!"

Vince stared at them, amused, before rolling his eyes and looking at Sophia, "what happened to I'm not gonna drink, Vince?"

"Uhhhm... M'not drunk," Sophia slurred, which would've been a lot more believable if she wasn't hugging the counter. Vince scoffed, walking further into the kitchen.

"What about you two?" he squinted at the girls and Maryann wavered, while Rita's face turned beet red.

"We're not drunk! We're not!"

"Yeah, there wasn't even anything to get drunk on," Maryann pouted, "they bought a two pack, for twenty people. I told you, Josh is super cheap," she turned to glare at Rita and the girl waved her off quickly, still looking mortified Vince was standing in front of her.

"I'm not sure I believe you," Vince groaned, then jumped as Sophia slid down her stool, falling on her ass on the ground. He couldn't help but cackle, crossing the room to help her up, "not drunk, uh?"

"Not- no," Sophia whined, she wrangled herself away from him, stumbling and bracing against the counter, "not drunk..."

Vince's amused smile slipped and fell as her friends chirped in, "yeah, she had like one beer. Hey bitch, sit down, you're gonna fall again."

"Lang-" he started to say automatically, before pausing, "one beer? Nothing else?"

"Nope," Maryann popped the P of her word, turning to Rita, "let's go?"

"Did anyone hand her any other drink?" Vince had completely tuned the teenagers out, his blood suddenly going cold. A memory of Wendy sitting in her bathtub looking completely destroyed flashed before his eyes, "anything? Even water?"

"No..." Rita frowned, "why? What's wrong?"

"You don't see- She's acting- Bambi, c'mere," Vince stepped closer despite his prickly little sister jumping back, "look at me, Soph," he cupped her face to force her to look at him, fully expecting to find her pupils blown, only to startle as his hand met burning skin, "Aw, Sophia..."

"What's going on?" Her best friend stepped closer, "Soph?"

"She's okay," he breathed out relief and nearly melted on a puddle as Soph lowered her head to his shoulder and whined: "Vin, I don't feel well..."

"She's just sick," he reassured Rita, the girl's big brown eyes squinting at her friend in concern, "I think you two should go, before you end up catching this... Do you want me to call you an Uber? Or drive you home?"

"We're not drunk, Mr. Moan," Maryann rolled her eyes, fishing out the car keys from her purse. Her personality was sarcastic and prickly like Sophia's, but Vince felt a vindictive sense of relief at the fact he knew Mary wasn't Soph's closest friend, "we can drive ourselves."

"Uh-hum," he wasn't sure he believed them, but there were more pressing issues at hand. They seemed very alert, so Vince sighed and gave in, "alright, uh- Get home safe."

"Feel better, Soph," Rita waved to her friend, while Maryann grabbed her by the wrist to drag her out, with a stolen bottle of juice in her hands.

"Your friends are so weird," Vince whispered, turning to face his sister. She let out a huff, cheek pressed to his bicep and eyes shut, "let's get you to bed, kiddo."

"My head's hurting," Sophia groaned and Vince wrapped a hand around her elbow, guiding her out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"You got a fever," he explained, a hand hoovering behind her back as they climbed up the stairs, "I think you caught Liv's bug."

"Liv- Liv's sick?" Sophia frowned, stopping at the landing of the stairs and glancing at Livia's white door, covered in pink stickers, just ahead of them, "I thought she was just being whiny because Ma and Babbo are gone..."

"She's got a stomach flu," Vince cringed, grabbing Sophia's shoulders and steering her away from their baby sister's room, "and she's finally sleeping now, so leave her be. I'm gonna get you some meds... Are you feeling nauseous at all?"

She shook her head, falling sit on her bed and groaning, "just a headache and dizzy..."

"Alright," Vince shuffled uselessly, wanting to fuss over her in the same way he did Liv and knowing full well Sophia was going to bite his head off, "I'm gonna get you some Tylenol for the headache and a bottle of water. You need anything else?"

"No," she yawned, starting to remove all of her rings and chains.

Instead of just grabbing the pills in his parent's first aid kid, Vince grabbed the whole plastic case, as well as a bucket downstairs and Gatorade. Sophia didn't seem nauseous, but he thought that was a matter of when, not if.

He stepped back in her room and let out a chuckle, "where the hell did you find that, Soph?"

His sister was wearing a combo of her own PJs little shorts, with one of his big team uniforms on top, back from his high school days, fitting on her like a dress.

"It's comfy, Ma said I could keep all of them," Sophia yawned, slipping under the covers and rolling on the bed so her face was buried in the pillows. On her back Monacelli was written in big white letters against the black fabric.

"Well, not all of them, I wanna frame one," Vince pouted, planting the Gatorade on her bedside table and the bucket next to her bed, "take your meds," he poked her shoulder and Sophia let out a groan, but grabbed the pills he was handing her without a complaint and swallowed them with a Gatorade gulp.

"Can I sleep now?" She yawned again and Vince sighed, nodding and lingering like a worried mother. He hadn't taken her temperature and Sophia was going to be mad if he insisted on it now... "Are you gonna just stand there? Don't be a creep, get out of my room."

Point in case.

Vince rolled his eyes, "I'm gonna be in my room, just yell if you need anything. I'm leaving all doors open."

"Okay," she huffed, sounding exhausted, then turned her head, blue eyes piercing him, "go away."

He didn't bother answering, flipping her off and walking out of the bedroom. Before going to his own, he sneaked inside Liv's bedroom to check on her. The little girl was still sound asleep and still had a fever, so he dug through the first aid kit until he found the old ear thermometer and waited for it to beep.

Still a 101.5 ºF....

He flopped down in his own bed with a sigh, vision blurring with exhaustion as he texted Wendy, despite the fact it was nearly 1 AM. Vince never felt bad about texting his girlfriend late at night, since she wouldn't wake up with something as simple as a text notification anyway.

"Liv's sick, puked the meds twice already. Can I feed her more??"

He dropped the phone on the pillow and rolled on his side, muffling a tiny burp against the fabric. His own upset belly wasn't over, intestines still squeezing and cramping, making him feel slightly queasy.

It was almost 3 AM when he woke up with his phone screen lighting up. Wendy had sent an answer, so she was probably on shift instead of home.

HoneyBee: when did you give her the meds?

He was too sleepy to type an answer, instead hitting the voice note button, "hey honey, sorry for bothering you. It was around 9 PM."

Wendy didn't answer him, instead the phone switched into call mode and Vin let out a yawn, picking it up, "Hi..."

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" she sounded wide awake and Vince shook his head, before realizing she couldn't see him.

"It's fine, I have to go check on her ag-" he yawned, "again... How are you?"

"I'm fine, it's been a hectic night. I got pulled as an assistant into surgery, was super cool," she was speaking a mile a second, "if you fed it to her around 9 PM, it's safe by now. How high is the fever?"

"Nearly 102," Vince sat up slowly, his whole body felt heavy, "should I wake her up to feed her more meds?"

"Take her temperature again, if the fever went up then yeah. Fevers are dangerous with little kids," Wendy sounded almost excited, but he knew it was just the adrenaline still going through her.

"Mmm'kay," Vince pulled the phone away from his face as he let out another burp, this one not so tiny. When he pressed the device back to his ear, his girlfriend had been stunned into silence, "Wen?"

"You're feeling sick, aren't you?" He could almost see her glaring at him and Vince shrugged.

"I think I'm just tired," he said, which wasn't a lie, more like wishful thinking, "I'm gonna go check on them..."

"Them? Sophia is down as well?"

"I think so," he rubbed a hand over his face, "she had a fever, but wasn't puking like Liv."

"Do you need any help?" Wendy sounded concerned, "Vince, if you're sick-"

"I'm not sick," he insisted, "and you're at your job and four hours away. Relax, I can handle my sisters, I've done it a bunch of times before," granted he never had both of them sick at the same time.

"Alright... Call me later, I'm not gonna go home until 6:30," Wendy sent him a kiss and he promised her that he would, before mumbling an i-love-you and hanging up.

Livia's fever had climbed to 101.9, that he didn't like one bit, so Vince was back to crouching down next to her bed, shaking her awake. This time, he was prepared, with a bucket in his free hand and had left a bunch of towels on her bedside table as well.

His baby sister whined and tried to roll away, so he shook her once more, "Liv," he brushed the dark curls away from her face, "Livia, wake up..."

As soon as she did, her eyes welled up with tears and he sighed, "hey... Shh, baby, I'm here. What's wrong?"

"I want mamma," Livia pouted, her voice all hoarse, causing Vince's heart to squeeze.

"i know, I'm sorry," he pulled her into a hug, "I'm sorry."

She sniffled pitifully against his neck, pressing her overheated forehead to his shoulder, "my head hurts..."

"I got you some meds," Vince peeled her off gently, "can you take them? How's your tummy?"

"Hurts too," her bottom lip was trembling, dangerously close to tears, "I don't like this..."

"It's gonna be over soon," he pressed a kiss to her brow, grabbing the children's syrup and a spoon, "just one big gulp and you can go back to sleep, alright?"

"Okay," she made a face at the medicine, but took it without much whining and Vince helped her lie back down, freezing as she gagged and burped at the taste, but nothing came back up.

"Vinny," Livia pouted, "cuddle?"

"Cuddle," he agreed, smiling at her, "I just gotta check on Soph first, bambi."

"Sophie's sick?"

"Yeah," he fluffed Livia's blankets, "bucket is right here, okay? I'm gonna be back soon."

"Okay," she curled up, but simply shut her eyes, seeming ready to sleep once again. He left her door open, then walked to Sophia's bedroom.

Unlike Livia, who was a perfect doll, Sophia had kicked out all blankets and was currently sitting up against the headboard, the bucket on her lap as she drooled.

Vince grimaced, his own stomach flipping, "Aw, Soph," he crossed the room and sat on the edge of her bed, gathering her long light brown hair into a ponytail, "so much for the medicine..."

"M'sorry," Sophia slurred, spitting in the bucket and curling up as much as she could, "I don't- My stomach-"

"I know, kiddo," Vince rubbed her back with the hand that wasn't holding her hair away from her mouth. He glanced past her shoulder and immediately regretted it. She had been sick already, an awful congealed mess was inside the bucket and his own stomach flipped at the sight. Vin turned his head, breathing through the nausea that was causing goosebumps to tickle at his skin and his mouth to taste weird.

Under his hold, Sophia convulsed and puked again. She was panting erratically now and Vince remembered his sister didn't do well with vomiting. She got sympathy nausea when others were sick and got really nervous when it was herself.

"Hey," he cupped her forehead with a hand, "hey, bambi, slow down. You're just gonna make yourself si-" she gagged and brought up another mouthful of acid and beer, letting out a pitiful whine.

"You're okay, I got you," Vince sighed, swallowing down the knot in his throat, "c'mon, one big burp, baby. Get it over with."

Sophia nodded, gulping down air and forcing up a burp that was deep and sickly, "God," she mumbled, spitting inside the bucket and belching again, "I feel gross..."

Vince patted her back like a baby's and it forced up another burp, that switched into a retch halfway through and Sophia buried her face back in the bucket, this time bringing up a powerful wave of vomit.

She started crying, still leaning over the bucket, words slurring into a pathetic chanting. Vince turned his head, moving his hand from her forehead to muffle a burp against his fist and gulping down when it brought with it a splash of puke.

Sophia let out a groan, "Vin..." she pulled back, "Vin, I don't- I don't feel well..." she straightened up fully, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, manners be damned and hyperventilating.

"It's the flu, bambi," Vince reassured her, "you're going to feel better by tomorrow, I promise-"

"No, I-" she squeezed her eyes shut, pushing the bucket in his arms and clearly trying to get up. She had a hand protectively on her belly and Vince grimaced as he realized why she was getting all frantic, "fuck, I- fuck-"

"Okay, c'mere," he planted the half full bucket on the ground, before jumping up and grabbing her by the elbow, "don't shit your pants, I got you."

"I'm- I-" she was getting all worked up and Vince cringed in worry and sympathy, "Vin-" Sophia never quite finished whatever she was going to say, because her belly let out a loud, upset gurgle and she folded in half, chest hiccupping as she brought up a mouthful of puke all over Vince's toes, her shirt and the hallway floor.

Vince jumped at that, his backburner nausea becoming pressing and urgent, causing him to clam a hand over his lips and close his eyes to avoid looking at the mess. Normally he was really good dealing with accidents, but tonight... The sensation of the liquid against his skin was more than enough to cause him to retch.

Next to him, Sophia grounded him quickly by letting out a sob. She curled up, hair getting in the way, and still hugging her belly fiercely, "M'sorry-Vin-" there was a desperate edge to her voice, and he wasn't sure if it was because of her normal reaction to puking or because she was about to mess herself up even more.

"I got you," his voice was a whole note deeper with queasiness, words sticking together, and Vince clammed his mouth shut, wrapping an arm around his sister's waist and all but dragging her to the bathroom she shared with Liv.

She was still crying, but conscious enough to shove him off the bathroom as soon as they were inside. Slamming the door on his face.

Vince wasn't offended, if anything he was relieved, as he sprinted down the hall himself and barely made it in time back to his suite, gagging over the sink.

The first retch left him breathless and deaf, but brought up nothing. However, the second one was accompanied by his stomach churning and Vince nearly projectile vomited inside the sink.

He opened the register to wash off the mess, trying not to think of the puke clinging to his toes or the clammy sensation all over him, or the way his lower belly apparently wanted to join in the mess by the fierce gurgling inside...

Vince collapsed sitting down in his toilet, grabbing the trash bin in order to puke at the same time his intestines emptied out once more, sending painful cramps that made him feel all jittery.

He wasn't sure how long it was until he felt wrung dry, head pounding from all the heaving, but he knew he couldn't let himself fall in bed like his body wanted to. There was a mess down the hallway that needed cleaning and Sophia who needed tending and Livia was still sporting a high fever...

Hell, did he have a fever?

Vince took a quick shower once again, spending most of it gagging fruitlessly over the drain, before forcing himself to keep going. Wiping down the puke from the wooden floors was a bigger challenge than he expected and he ended up dry heaving over the bucket half filled with water twice.

Just as he finished cleaning, he heard the bathroom door opening with a creak and Sophia's little voice, English lost as she had completely switched to Italian, "Vin?"

"Yeah?" He cleared his throat, trying to sound normal, "are you okay? Do you need help?"

"Can- Can you get me new pjs...?"

"Yeah, of course," he stood up from the ground with a grunt, wrapping an arm around his stomach and walking back to her room like an elderly man.

He was barely paying any attention as he grabbed a mismatched set of PJs from her first drawer, then stumbled back to the bathroom door and knocked, "Soph?"

"Just a second..." she sounded weak and it gave him a renewed strength to stand up straight. There'd be time to collapse later.

A minute later the door opened and his sister took the PJs, before shutting it again. She was wrapped in a towel, trembling like a leaf, her wet hair falling limply next to her face.

He heard shuffling around, then her retching once more and groaning, "oh no..."

"Soph?"

"Just a- Just a sec!" She yelled and Vince leaned against the door, trying to focus on her and not the fact his own nausea was building once more.

A minute later she opened the door, clad in her new PJs and grimacing as she saw the abandoned bucket near her door, "I'm really sorry about the mess..."

"It's okay," Vince breathed in, inspecting her, "how are you feeling?"

"Really dizzy," Sophia leaned against his side, uncharacteristically touchy and clingy. He hugged her closer and was about to guide her back to bed and go retrieve the thermometer, when Livia poked her head out of her bedroom.

"Vinny?"

Vince and Sophia both turned around, just as the little girl wrapped her arms around her belly, "I don't feel good..."

"God, don't puke now, please-" Sophia whined and Vince shot her a glare, crossing the hallway to scoop up his seven year old sister.

"That's alright, baby, let's get you to the bathroom..." he could feel the uncomfortable gurgling inside her tummy, pressed against his chest and Vince nearly gagged himself at the prospect of cleaning up more sick tonight, "Sophia, get in bed and take your temp, please. And some tylenol, it's all in Liv's bedroom."

"Uhmmmkay..." Sophia stumbled forward, then braced against the wall, breathing deeply, her skin deteriorating to translucent white. Vince stopped walking, only for Liv to let out a groan herself.

"Vinny-" there was an urgency in her voice and he wasn't sure who to even care to first. Sophia looked like she was going to collapse, but he decided he'd rather clean up puke than diarrhea as Livia's tummy let out another upset growl.

He sped up, planting her on the toilet just in time and grabbing the waste basket, holding it under her chin just as the kid's body decided to vacate of everything she had ever eaten.

Vince steadied her with one hand, the other one he pressed over his own mouth and nose and tried not to end up puking on his little sister's lap, since that would be a major dick move.

After what felt like an eternity, Livia stopped sobbing and vomiting and having the runs, so he flushed twice and closed the bin, putting it as far away as he could, "stay sit," he asked in a thick, nauseous voice, then leaned over the girl's sink and heaved himself.

Next to him he heard Livia let out a scared cry and Vince waved in her direction, grumbling between burps, "I'm okay- I'm alright..."

Vince coughed another splash of stomach acid, then washed the sink and his mouth, meeting his own gaze in the mirror. He looked a mess, "alright, baby, can you step in the shower, please?" he opened the warm water, "just wash up a bit, okay? I'll get you some PJs..." and check on Sophia. He was praying she hadn't puked in the hallway again.

"I- I- Are we dying?!" Livia sobbed, scared, and Vince had to force himself not to eyeroll. He kissed the top of her head, stripping her of her shirt — she had sweat through the fresh set of clothes — and grabbing her by the armpits, forcing her under the spray, nudity and water be damned.

"No, we're not dying, bambi," Vince stumbled slightly, shutting the toilet and handing Livia the soap bar, "wash up, okay? I'll be back in a minute. Sit down on the ground if you get dizzy, promise me."

"Okay," she was still crying and he hated that he had to step out of the bathroom, but those thoughts all but flew out of the window as he did and found Sophia curled up on the ground.

"Sophia!" He skipped to his knees, patting her cheeks, "Soph. Soph, open your eyes-" she was burning up, "Sophia, don't do this to me, open your eyes," Vince all but shook her like a rattle toy and his sister finally opened her eyes, dazed and in pain.

"Stop... Dizzy..." She slurred, letting her head fall forward, lolling like a broken doll. Vince cursed, throwing her arm around his neck and getting up, pulling her to his arms bridal style.

"Fucking hell," he cursed darkly, carrying her to bed and then running to Livia's room to grab the first aid kit, as well as the abandoned towels. He returned to the bathroom to wet them with cold water, only to remember about Liv...

"C-cold-" her teeth shattered and Vince grabbed her abandoned robe in one of the hooks, crouching down inside the shower area.

"C'mere, bambi, get your arms in- There you go, good girl," he kissed her temple, tying up the robe and picking her up like a toddler, "hold on to me, we'll go to bed in a second, let's just get this to Soph first..."

Livia yawned against his neck, still trembling and he wasn't entirely sure if he her fever had broken or his had risen to her level, because she felt cold to him.

He wet the towels, then walked back to Sophia's bedroom, sitting on the corner of the bed and starting to wipe his sister's face with the cold wet towels, sticking the baby thermometer in her ear, age be damned.

103ºF, fuck.

"Sophia," Vince shook her vehemently, "Sophia, wake up, I need you to take meds. C'mon, wake up," he dragged her half sitting up and his sister turned her face away with a groan as he pressed the pills to her lips, but Vince was scared and angry thanks to the panic cursing through him, "no, no drama. Drink up."

"Vin..." Sophia whined, opening her eyes, "please, don't- I don't feel well..."

His own eyes burned, he hated forcing them to do anything. He swallowed against the knot in his throat, "Soph, either you take the meds or we're going to the hospital," he said strongly.

The threat worked, because she opened her lips and swallowed the small pill, but it worked too well, since it caused Livia to pull back from her tight hug against his neck, horrified.

"Spital!?"

"Not you, bambi," Vince pressed the heel of his hand to his eyes, trying to rub his killer headache away. Wendy would be cursing him for not drinking any water. Had any of them been drinking water? He was a big guy, he could handle it, but Livia was tiny and Sophia was always on some bullshit diet, definitely prone to dehydration.

"Is Sophie dying?!"

"No one is dying," Vince groaned, pulling back so he could glare at Livia, "no one, you hear me? We just have a belly bug, it'll pass by tomorrow... I need you to drink some juice for me, Liv."

Her little face scrunched up in disgust as he picked up the abandoned Gatorade bottle on Sophia's bedside table, his teenage sister lying passed out between them, "I don't wanna..."

"I'm sorry, but you have to," he broke the seal and held it to her, "just one little gulp. C'mon."

It was with a lot of effort that he managed to get Livia to take two full gulps of it, then with even more so to have Sophia semiconscious enough to drink. He took a large gulp himself, despite it triggering his gag reflex, then yawned.

"Let's get you in bed, Liv," Vince stumbled up, holding his sister by the hand. She looked ready to fall asleep right there, in her robe, on top of Sophia.

They went through the third set of PJs of the night and finally Vince managed to tuck her in bed, dizzily trying to hold the thermometer to her ear. He lost it so many times that his little sister let out an annoyed groan and held it there herself, until they heard a beep.

101.2 Fº .... Was this good? Higher? Lower? He wasn't sure anymore.

Vince frowned, struggling to think, "did you take meds...?"

She nodded and Vince squinted at Livia, unsure if he believed her or not. Had it been before or after she threw up again. Could she take them again?

She yawned and Vince decided against the meds for now, hoping he was taking the right decision. He pressed a kiss to her brow, "I'm gonna be in Soph's room, okay? All lights are on."

"Okay," Livia was sleepy enough she didn't have any energy to ask him to stay.

It was a struggle to return to Sophia's bedroom. The hallway was spinning and he vaguely noticed he still needed to empty out the trashcan from both his and the girl's bathroom and get rid of the bucket filled with dirty water in the hallway...

Sophia's face was red thanks to the fever and Vince almost fell over her as he crouched next to her bed. She looked really warm, but when he pressed his hand to her forehead, she didn't feel all that warm. Her room was freezing.

Vince collapsed on her office chair, near her little study station and stretched out, planting a hand over his own unsettled stomach and trying to rub it. He still felt overstuffed and gross, even though he was more than empty. That one Gatorade gulp was sitting inside like a brick.

Vince dizzily fished out his phone from his sweatpants' pocket — had he gotten it wet? — then set up an alarm for 6 AM. He frowned at the hour, 4:40 AM.

He just hoped he felt better in two hours, otherwise they were doomed.

[ssentimentals]

joshua + first morning together

usually it doesn't take long for joshua to fall asleep, most of the times he's in morpheus arms the second his head hits the pillow. but this night is different and even when tiredness succumbs him to sleep, he stays wide awake, alert as he's never been before. your chest rises and falls steadily; you are probably seeing a very nice dream if smile on your lips is anything to go by. joshua selfishly hopes he is there, in your dream. hopes he is the reason of your smile even in your sleep.

this situation is a bit surreal to him. you know when you waited so long for something to happen, longed for it, ached for it with all your heart - that when it does happen you just kind of stay in complete disbelief? this is what joshua feels watching your sleeping form on his bed. he cautiously reaches out to your hand and his heart stops somewhere in his throat, when your fingers immediately wrap around his. even in your sleep you are choosing to hold on to him. even in your sleep you gravitate towards him, your body inclined to his side more - how can he sleep if you are like that? how is he supposed to close his eyes and miss this view? how can he stop thinking of what it means to both of you? he spent whole night lost in his thoughts, in assumptions that when sunlight illuminates your room, joshua only blinks in surprise, shocked by how quickly the time passed. you frown a little at the brightness and his first instinct is to stand up and close the blinds but that would require letting go of your hand and he hesitates, looking at your joined fingers. he doesn't like it, the whole letting go thing. if he could, joshua would have held your hands all the time; until he'd have memorized all the little bumps and tiny scars on your skin, until he'd be able to recoginize your hand from the million others. joshua gently caresses your skin with his thumb and thinks he can write thousands of poems on this feeling, on the tenderness of your skin, on the warmth of your palm, on how your fingers fill the slots between his so perfectly well-

'josh?' you mumble, squinting a little. your voice is hoarse from the sleep and you clear it out, trying again: 'josh?'

'i'm here,' he answers quietly. with his free hand he reaches out and smoothes your hair lovingly. 'it's too early, bub, go back to sleep.'

it seems like you have other plans, cause you turn around and move, making him let go of your hand. joshua thinks it's a bit humilating how he instantly misses the feel of it. is it okay to be so..so into you? doesn't that make him weak? less of a man if he is that whipped? sometimes he starts thinking about it but then you do something - anything at all - like smile at him or kiss him and these thoughts fly out of the window. he'd gladly be considered weak if it means he can have you like that.

'why are you awake?' you grumble, fighting to get your legs out of the blanket. joshua's heart stammers as you move close, closer - until you are practically cuddled up to his side. 'have you even slept?'

'i-' he starts and promptly forgets all the words when you lift your leg and put it on top of his like it's the most natural thing in the world. 'um.'

lack of answer makes you look up and squint at him. you take a good look of his too awake eyes and a growing suspicion starts to form in your head: 'you have slept this night, haven't you? don't tell me that you were awake all this time.' when joshua only looks at you sheepishly, you groan loudly: 'oh my god, josh, why? were you not comfortable? is my mattress too hard? i'm so sorr-'

'no,' he instantly interrupts, gathering you in his arms. usually he's hesitant with his affections towards you, but nothing makes him act bold as you thinking that you did something wrong or the need to calm you down. 'no-no, princess, i just had a lot on my mind. don't be sorry.'

pet name and his cuddles make you smile and you nuzzle your head into his chest, hearing his steady heartbeat underneath. 'a lot on your mind?' you yawn, stubbornly trying to shake off remnants of your dreams. 'what could possibly have you staying up all night?'

with you in his arms, it's easier to be honest, easier to shake off the mask and just be himself. he leans in, places small kiss on top of your head and wraps his arms around you tighter. 'i was thinking of you,' he replies sincerely, having nothing to hide.

he can tell that you're trying to look up but find it hard to do so because of the angle, so he moves you both until you're laying side to side, facing each other. sleep is not gone from your eyes and he coos at the way you try to stay present for him. 'is that what i do to you? make you lose your sleep, hm?'

it's meant to be a joke or at least a teasing, but joshua replies seriously, tucking one hair strand behind your ear: 'you don't know half of the things you do to me.'

at that your eyes fly open, more awake than they've been before. joshua meets your eyes readily, holding eye contact for as long as you need to understand the meaning behind his words. he can tell that you are searching for something and he hopes you find there his desire to wake up like that every day. to have these kind of mornings with you forever. to have the opportunity to hold you like this, to not sleep because he's too busy staring at you and coming with terms that he can now have this. these nights, these mornings - he can now have them al.

'good things, i hope?' you ask, cuddling closer until tips of your noses touch.

joshua huffs, smiling. 'the best things, bub.'

you smile, content. 'now can we go back to sleep? let's wake up at a normal time like normal people do.' joshua nods, reaching out for the blanket to cover you both, when you stop him: 'no, too hot, leave it.'

'oh,' joshua drops the blanket and also starts to extract himself from your arms, thinking that hugging would also make you uncomfortable in this temperature, but you stop him here as well, frowning. 'you said it's too hot-'

'for the blanket, but not for you,' it's clear that you are losing patience with him not getting what you want and you wanting to sleep. 'c'mon, hold me close, hug me.' when he does as instructed you sigh, satisfied. 'that's it. and never let go.'

joshua tighens his hold on you, swallowing hard. if only you knew that given the chance, he'd never let you go. he kisses your forehead and mutters: 'i won't. sleep tight, love. i'll wake you up for the breakfast.'

you don't reply, already dead to the world and he only chuckles affectionately. 'i love you,' he whispers into your hair before finally also closing his eyes and succumbing into the sleep.

a/n: i think i hurt myself with this one, so why not let you all cry with me too :') - nini

check out my other works here and i think my tag list is rather old, so if you want to be added, let me know! <3

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 7

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

❤ Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

All OC Characters belong to me

Prequel (All Falls Down)

Series Masterlist

“Soo.” Elijah trailed off as he and Kiyana were driving to the restaurant. “That was your ex-husband huh?” 

“Yeah.” She said “I’m so sorry about that..” She apologized again. “He wasn’t supposed to be there.” she paused. “Him or his cousin.”  Elijah laughed. 

“It’s no big deal. Trust me. I’ve dealt with worse from my ex-wife. Her brothers are still on my ass to this day.” He chuckled again. 

“Oh you were married?” Kiyana asked, perplexed because he never mentioned it.

“Is that a problem?” Now Elijah was confused. Not even 10 minutes ago, he thought he was about to have a melee with her ex husband and his cousin. He cut his eyes over to her before looking back at the road when she didn’t answer. “Ki?” 

“No, it’s not a problem.” She shrugged. “I just thought you would mention it by now.” She paused, and turned her head to look at him. “It’s not a big deal though.” 

“You sure?” Elijah asked as he pulled up to a red light, now turning his full attention to her. “I don’t wanna start us off on the wrong foot.” 

“Ohh, there’s an us?” She teased with a smile, feeling her cheeks heat up. 

“There’s definitely an us. I normally have a rule that I don’t date coworkers but, it’s just something about you Kiyana.” There goes them butterflies again. She thought as their faces inched closer. He cupped her jaw and Kiyana felt her heart rate spike. Just as their lips were about to connect, the car behind them honked causing the both of them to jump away from each other. 

“Fuck!” Josh cursed as he watched Kiyana get into Elijah’s car and drive off. This was exactly what he was afraid of. He stomped past Joe and into his former home. “Samara!” He called out, softly though, still mindful of his sleeping children.  “Mara?!” He called out again, rolling his eyes as she strolled out of the kitchen munching on his children’s Doritos. 

“What?” 

“What restaurant did they go to?” He huffed when she shrugged and pushed past him to sit on the couch. “Samara ,please.” Josh begged. “I know I fucked up by doin' what I did. But shit, I can’t just give up and go let her fall in love with someone else. I won’t be able to take it. So please, just tell me what restaurant they went to.” 

Samara felt her hatred for Josh slip away. While they were never close she still considered him a friend and one thing about Samara was that she hated seeing her friends hurting. “Fine.” She sighed out. “But you have to answer my question first.”  Josh nodded immediately. 

“Aight, whatever you wanna know.” 

“Why did you do it? What made you cheat on Kiyana?”  oh Josh gulped.  “Josh?” 

“I don’t know. “ He said and Samara sucked her teeth. “I- we were arguing about her not listening to the doctor about not stressing. I just wanted her and Kairo to be okay.” He walked over and sat down on the couch next to her and put his head in his hands.  “You know the same thing happened when she was pregnant with Kehlani.” Neither one of them heard Joe as she entered the house and stood right by the entrance to the living room, listening to their conversation. “Her auntie died and..” He blew out a breath. “She wouldn’t relax, she wouldn’t just stop and not stress. I already have one dead kid. I didn’t want another.” 

Samara nodded, remembering how Kiyana blamed herself for years for the death of Kehlani. “So that’s why you cheated?” Josh scoffed and shook his head. 

“Hell no. I just- I wanted to vent. Everyone around me kept talking about how Kiyana felt and..” He paused and sniffled, wiping his eyes. “I- it’s selfish but damn, Kenneth was like a dad to me too. When Kish and my mom were going through it Ken and Ms Imani welcomed me with open arms. I just wanted to vent to someone who wouldn’t say oh well it’s Kiyana’s dad. And Shanté was there at the right  time. It wasn’t my intention to start the affair, I just wanted someone to talk to and things went too far.” 

Joe let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He couldn’t intervene with Josh and Kiyana nomore. He had already done enough damage by sleeping with Kiyana and truth be told, Josh was his favorite cousin and even if Joe thought that Kiyana should be with him, he didn’t want to hurt his cousin more than he already did. 

“The Grand Marlin.” Samara said after a minute of silence between her and Josh. “He took her to The Grand Marlin.” 

Josh pulled Samara in for a hug and thanked her. “Do not fuck this up again Joshua. I swear on my life I will make sure she fucks every single one of your family members.” Josh sucked his teeth and pushed her away from him. 

“Damn Samara.” She shrugged and pointed towards the front door.

“Go, before she falls in love with him or something.”  Josh nodded and rushed towards the front door, only to be stopped by Joe blocking it. 

“Uce come-on. Don’t do this to me right now. You proved your point already.”  Joe shook his head and put his hands up defensively. 

“I just wanted to apologize to you Josh. You my family and I should have never took it there with your wife.” Josh sucked his teeth. 

“You don’t mean that shit. What you want me to go get my wife back so you can fuck her again.” Josh felt the urge to pummel Joe so he took a deep breath. “ Getcho’ big ass out my way Joseph.” 

“Josh, this is the most serious I've been with you in years. I’m sorry.” Josh narrowed his eyes at Joe. Not believing him in the slightest. But he couldn’t worry about Joe right now, right now he needed to get to Kiyana. 

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Kiyana smiled over at Elijah as he pulled out her chair for her. “I’ve never been here before.” 

“No problem Ms. Jackson. I plan to give you a lot of first time experiences” He winked back as the waiter came over and asked for their drink orders. 

Elijah kept a smile on Kiyana’s face all throughout dinner. And if Kiyana was being honest, this was the best date she had been on in years. 

Her weekly ‘dates’ with Josh were just them going out to dinner, nothing special or spectacular. He stopped making her feel special a long time ago and she had just gone with the flow because she loved him. 

“Hey that’s your ex-husband right?” Elijah’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and she turned her head in the direction he was pointing to see Josh arguing with the maitre’d and pointing in her direction. 

“Oh my god.” She muttered, covering her face with her hands. “This is so embarrassing. Just give me two minutes please.” She said, biting her lip as she stood from the table and walked over to where Josh was making an ass out of himself. 

“All you had to do was let me through dickhead.” He sneered at the man, who was only trying to do his job. 

“Joshua.” Kiyana hissed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and dragging him outside of the restaurant. “What are you doing?!” 

“Tryna stop you from making a mistake. I’m so fucking sorry Key.” He whispered, cupping her face in his hands.  “About everything. About Shanté.” He swallowed hard when he saw her flinch at Shanté’s name. “About not sticking up for you at J’s party. About everything.” He repeated and Kiyana started shaking her head. 

“No.” She laughed as tears started to well up in her eyes. “You can’t just come here and ruin my date. You have no right Joshua.” She pushed him away from her. “You cheated on me, there is no apologizing for that, not after the shit I put up with from you and your family for years.” 

“Kiyana please - “ 

“Go home Joshua.” She muttered, blinking her tears away. She was done crying over him. “I’m trying to move on, you need to do the same.” Josh felt as if Kiyana just reached into his chest and pulled his heart out, as she gave him one last look before turning and walking back into the restaurant to continue her date. Leaving him heartbroken and empty. 

🙃

Y'all think Josh can actually win her back or y'all think Kiyana is over him and nothing her can do will fix or change anything. ?

❤ Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

A/N: Sorry this took two weeks 😭. I was just feeling a bit stuck with this chapter. Hopefully chapter 8 won't take another 2 weeks.

🏷️: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci1996 @empressdede @harmshake

@theninthwonder @alyyaanna @nbanenefrmdao @badbitchcentralinc @abadbitchblogs

@raya-hunter01 @msbigredmachine @dietothemusic @paigereeder @amandairene88

@woahthatshitfat @tian-monique @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade @allmyn1ghts @wrestlingprincess80

@reignsboy19 @cyberdejos2 @saintaquarius @bebesobrielo @scarlettnoir01

@alichesmi @xiamentshoneypot @hunnidmilly @jeyusos-girl @li-da-savage

@qveenmikaelson @black-yn @mzv11 @shantinextdoor @sheydnni

@zillasvilla @thatone-girly @xmonetsworld @jeysbae @kill-the-artiste

@simpin4pixels @mindairy @that-one-anxious-mango @mersers-moonypadfoot-prongs @vebner37

@trashbin-nie @adoreesun @meggylynnloves @shayaaaaaaa @angiedawn02

[2kverrr]

JESSICA RILEY - Dating Headcanons

UNTIL DAWN || Jessica Riley x Reader

she’s your best friend, has been since you were 13, you’d found a similar interest in these ones girls shoes at lunch, disgusting and almost offensive.

at an instant you’d locked eyes and started laughing, since that day you became joined by the hip. all secrets told, all insecurities shared, tips and rumours shared between you two.

you’re not sure when you started feeling things for her, but it only grew.

you loved bleaching her hair for her, helping her put together different outfits, braiding her hair, just being close to her.

you two were open books when alone, so it was the hardest thing you’d ever done, hiding your feelings.

“ugh- why are my- what the fuck.” jess stands in the mirror in your bedroom, messing and fussing with her top. there was nothing wrong with it, she looked completely perfect. you sit down in front of another mirror applying your mascara. “jess, you look like a babe, we’ll only end up getting shit faced and ugly by the end of the night” you smile, looking back at the bleach blonde.

the party was at matts, emily had forced him to host there and he soon obliged, to be quite frank, he was terrified of her.

throughout the house party, jess was conversing with a few different boys, clearly selecting the lucky bunch that would be considered to be her boyfriend for the night.

“ugh they’re all meatheads” jess groans, throwing her self onto the sofa you’re sat on, you’d had a few drinks, measured by josh so you deserved a little sit down (or else you’d literally pass out)

“did you hear me?” jess prods your shoulder, dramatically your roll your head sideways onto her shoulder. “fuck ‘em” you slur with a dopey smile which jess returns.

“sometimes i do wish i was a lesbian, girls are so much nicer. all these boys,” she points across the room, “, think with their dicks, not a single brain cell between them.” and for a moment, in your drunken, delusional state, you physically felt a lightbulb appear above your head.

“i’ll let you be my girlfriend.”

“what? you’ll let me?” she giggles, but all you can do is stare at the joyful wrinkles forming by her half-closed eyes.

you slowly nod your head, eagerly but it felt as though you’re in slow motion, “uh-huh”

as intended, you drunken seduction was successful (you think, you can’t exactly remember that night).

since that silly conversation at midnight in matts house, you’re friendship had changed, you became more like a couple though neither of you established so.

you both assume you’re… dating? whatever it is, you’re perfectly content with it.

anywhere you go your hand is being tightly gripped by the blonde. most the time she doesn’t even realise.

she blatantly refuses to drive. #passengerprincess4life

it’s your usual friendship but with little quirks. kisses on the cheek, hands, lips. a lot more sleepovers. she leaves notes a lot, like a mom would in their child’s lunchbag.

LOTS of wine+gossip sessions. it’s become a friday night staple between the two of you, it always ends up in you both falling asleep on your parents’ couch.

you didn’t really plan on telling any of the group, but the trip up to josh and his sisters’ mountain lodge would make it difficult for you to have any time to yourselves. so jess took it upon herself to announce it once all of the gang were together.

the group were shocked to put it nicely. mike, josh and sam are your biggest fans despite josh’s wandering eyes and perverted mind. emily couldn’t stand seeing jess happy, so it’s was a one up for the blonde.

[cryptidcorners]

Gardenia - Josh Futturman x M!Reader

Description: Being Josh's childhood friend, you never would have expected to see him appear by your doorstep after a month of radio silence. Though, in this particular visit, he's desperate to air out his true feelings before traveling through time. Unknowing if he'll ever come back to see you again.

Media: Future Man!Show

Character: Josh Futturman

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Childhood Friends, Catching Up, Confessions, Light Angst to Fluff, Kissing, Romantic, Comfort, Sweet Stuff

Warnings: Arguing (+ about Josh ghosting reader), Foul Language, Mental Breakdown/Depression Mentions

read my TOS + Josh Futturman Masterlist

Dread twisted in your stomach like rusted wire, and your constant stirring on your mattress was robbing you of any justice of getting any variant of rest. Your eyes grew heavy, dangerously puffy from expelling your grief several dark hours ago. Though, it had only felt like seconds to you. Your thoughts raced like a wild flock of puzzled birds, breath hitching along with it as you slowly fell into decay.

Your gaze was fixed to your glowing digital screen, eyes fixed on your messages with your old friend, Josh Futturman. It had been weeks of endless radio silence, along with your desperate texts. You were more worried than upset if anything. You went to his house to drop off a game you had finished, but his parents said he wasn't there. Along with all the other days you had made excuses to stand at his doorstep.

His parents weren't liars, and they wouldn't deny you. They knew Josh and you were close. You even remembered Diane saying you were helping him in ways they had struggled to for years. Your lip quivered, so why would he leave?

You two only argued once during a blue moon, you shared so much in common and you swore every second was sincere with him. It had always been him, and it had always been you. Ever since you were kids you were inseparable, to the point others figured you were his boyfriend due to how close you were. It was ridiculous.

Yet, here you were, hunched over and dry with internal pain, thoughts still clinging onto the thought of Josh. You were starved to see him again. He understood everything about you, even with the design of your mind being incredibly complicated. Had you done something wrong? Had you offended him? Had he grown tired of you? Did he even like you?

Then, you heard your doorbell. The familiar tune caught you off guard, but it had made you fix up your wrecked expression promptly and sluggishly fix your clothes. You raced downstairs while catching your breath. You were too out of it to care who it was, but you weren't stupid enough to open it at random. You rested your forehead against the door, "Who is it?" you asked weakly.

"Josh," a familiar voice answered. Muffled, and seemingly distressed as well. You jolted up and needily worked your hands to unlock the door. Your face was brimmed with shock. It was him, but covered in bruises and sweat. His curls were lazy and messy, his eyes were wide and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. Still, his gentle tone made you weak, relieved. But also incredibly angry. "Hey." He said, "Long time no see?"

You struggled to collect your thoughts. "Yeah." Your eyes narrowed, "Do you want to come inside?"

"Please." Josh stated. You didn't say anything, and gestured for him to walk toward. As soon as you shut the door, he immediately opened his mouth and began rambling, "Look, I'm—, I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you." His eyes met yours, "Trust me, I didn't mean to leave you for so long." Josh stammered, "I was just, so wrapped up in something. And, I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn't, please, I didn't–"

You sucked your teeth, "Where were you Josh?"

"I–" his hands landed heavily at his sides, his face slightly appalled at himself. As if he were a dumbfounded audience. "I can't tell you."

"Why not?" You grew agitated, spilling out your gallons of binded frustration. "Why did you ghost me for over a month? Where . . . Where were you?" You breathed heavily, "I thought you hated me, or something terrible happened to you. God, your parents didn't even know where you were!"

Josh choked out a cry, "You don't understand. I didn't want to hurt you,"

"But you did!" You interrupted. "Josh, why did you leave? What happened?"

"I can't fucking tell you!" Josh shouted. "You wouldn't understand. It's too complicated!" You grabbed him by the shoulder before he could turn around, "No, I don't think you understand. How could you just go with no explanation? You look terrible. What are you running away from?"

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you." Josh winced, "I'm sorry, okay? Please, I had no choice. I didn't mean to leave you. I didn't do it because I hated you or anything like that, okay?" His breaths were unraveling, "Do you know how much I care about you? You know me. You're my best friend," a low whimper escaped your lips as you stated at him. The tension shifted, and you both gazed at each other longingly. "I love you."

"Josh." You released your grip. "Please, I, don't have much time. I love you, so much. I would never, ever, hurt you." His hands found your face, "I need you to know this." Something grew in your chest, and you brought your head forward. "I love you too."

You don't know who fell first, but you felt relieved once Josh kissed you. His hands scavenged across your back, and you dug your fingers into his hair. He hummed, body relaxing at the feel of you. Once his palm found its way under your shirt, you both collapsed onto your couch.

You were both crosslegged and smothered in each other, skin blazing as your love untangled. His hands found your sides and you were eagerly grabbing his collar to pull him closer. You swear you could see stars once he pulled away, trying to catch his breath. Josh held you close, face still red from the passion you had inflicted just a few seconds ago.

"Hey, I'm sorry." You whispered.

"For what?"

"For getting so angry." You frowned, "I shouldn't have gotten so pissed at something personal happening to you."

Josh cupped your face. You swore you could drown in his eyes, "Don't say that. You deserve to be mad at me, I left you. And it's okay, just . . . stay here with me." You cuddled up next to him with a sleepy exhale, smiling softly. "Stay."

Josh whispered, "I promise I'll make it up to you. In any way I can,"

[bucked-it-up]

I finally have some time and think about what happened in the episode and also in a way this season as a whole. This is probably going to be a ramble mess and I’m sure i will get some info incorrect as i am mainly doing this off of memory, i also haven’t fully read the post episode interviews but i know the gist of them. Now with that disclaimer out of the way I’m gonna just blurt my feelings out.

One. I want to start that personally for me the season has felt off from the beginning but particularly from after the opening episodes, i felt like the pacing was off and disjointed. I enjoyed the episodes don’t get me wrong but yeah something just has felt off for me writing wise, everything seemingly has been resolved quicker and easier than i think anyone thought it would be

Two. Might as well get into the meat of why i am rambling about my feelings. 806. Well it was certainly an episode. The miceli bucktomy scene that we have all looked forward to since we knew it was happening just immediately felt off. It was their 6 months? But yet Tommy seemingly got buck a present that didn’t fit what he has said about basketball at all in the past and to me felt dismissive as i was watching it. Buck taking a picture of the girls felt odd to me the tension about it idk just wasn’t for me but that part of the conversation could have led to interesting turmoil and lead to more stability. The Abby of this part. My first reaction was Ew. I was never one for the spec that Tommy was Abby’s ex never felt right and didn’t click but I would’ve been okay with it if it was handled differently. Tommy felt dismissive towards why Abby would be upset about a 2 year Relationship where they were engaged, like she had every right to be hurt and react maybe in a way you didn’t expect or like. While this led to a good speech from josh and gave buck the information he needed to know he would be happy in the relationship even if tommy had been with Abby and he understood why tommy did what he did or at least accepted it.

Three. The Break Up. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! They both express a want for a long term relationship and tommy decides that no that’s not what buck wants? And it also feels like it goes against him wanting a family somewhere to be and they were showing that he was becoming a part of it in 805. Just what was the characterisation in that scene? They weren’t the buck and tommy i know. Him saying buck? Like fuck you writers. You could have written a break up in so much more of a respectful way, handled it so much more respectfully not apparently doing 805 the way it was just to make 806 hurt worse. You had such a beautiful peace of representation on your hands and you just fucked it up.

Four. What i know of about the interviews. As said above ive not read them. I’m not in the right place to right now but i do know the gist of them. Why do you want buck’s character development to just fall back to season 1 buck, Oliver? Why? Tell me why it would make sense. Buck has shown longing for a long term relationship from the first hook up of the show. He didn’t sleep around after Abby who was his first transformative relationship as he said and tommy was he second major one again something that buck said. So why Oliver would he choose to fuck around? Why?

Five. The Eddie and Buck scene at the end. I will admit i didn’t properly watch it because i was too sad and that scene felt like someone had just rubbed a whole load of salt in the wound. I find out then from my friend that they had buck come over to eddies while he’s doing that pantless dancing and has shaved. Feels like bvddie ship bait not gonna lie. Would buck go to Eddie after a break up? Yes he would they are best friends why wouldn’t buck go there. But why couldn’t the scene be different, have it come at it from a different way.

Six. I dont know if I’m going to carry on watching the show, i have no nope for bucktommy coming back but if you do I’m really happy for you sincerely i would like some of that hope tbh. If i do watch it i will probably watch it after hearing spoilers.

Finally, I’m not reading this through so pls ignore any small mistakes but if you do want to correct me on something please do it kindly and politely. I love you all, my inbox is open if you need to rant somewhere and please take care of yourselves.

[simp-ly-writes]

begging for some more trev fics when u have time !! 💙

Cookbooks & Love Letters

─────── · · A Mythical Kitchen Fanfic

Pairing: Trevor Evarts x Chef!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: You are a celebrity chef, rivaling gordon ramsay himself online and when you come to Good Mythical Morning to star in one of your favourite childhood youtubers videos, you find yourself falling in love as well out of all things!

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, light swearing, mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers, mentions of anxiety, fluff.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 1,780

─ · · A/N: I fully support Trevors IRL relationships, this is fully fictional and meant for entertainment purposes! Thank you for the ask, kinda got carried a way with writing this hahaha!

─────── · ·

You were are a very famous culinary youtuber (on track to surpass Gordon Ramsay... not that you didn't like to brag about it or anything...) but you loved your job and the community you had built on youtube

There are many fan compilations and edits of you online detailing you forgetting just how popular were from becoming a three-times New York Times bestselling author for your various cookbooks to hosting your own private panels at creator clash

And you are embarrassed to admit how much you have fanboyed/girled in front of your favourite youtuber's you had grown up watching, such as Ian and Anthony alongside Rhett and Link... little did you know, they were all big fans of yours as well that lead you to meeting Trevor Evarts.

At first, you did not think he liked you very much as he refused to make eye-contact with you or hold a handshake for more than a second. In all honesty, you felt a bit subconscious that he knew more than you, having had a formal education while you worked yourself from the ground up. He also seemed so confident, more than you did when you first started working in front of the camera only a few years ago, he was so natural about it that you couldn't help but admire him, his smile, his humour, and then you realized you watched every video of him ever while doing some totally quick research for todays shoot at GMM... I hope he dosn't notice me stareing...

─────── · ·

Trevor was shitting himself internally, the whole office could see it as he practically skipped around the office at the announcement you were doing an interview with Rhett and Link on Good Mythical Morning. He had packed all three of your cookbooks and a sharpie, waiting for you to sign them. Especially your most recent one, he swore by it in almost every recent video and the fans caught onto this, shipping you ever since them... but you were too famous to know this... right?

Josh had to sit the younger man down and calm his nerves. "You both are incredibly sweet people, I'm sure even if you did say something completely off they would forgive you-"

"You sound so confident that I'll say the wrong thing, Josh."

"Well... I would be nervous too if I were in your shoes..."

"and why are you not nervous, they are like the biggest creator on the platform for food!?"

"Well... I don't exactly imagine myself going on a date with them outside of work." And Trevors cheeks were now painted a bright red and in that moment you decided to enter the kitchen space, eyeing up all the appliances and gadgets before introducing yourself and Trevor froze himself in time.

Your smile, the ways your eyes slightly crinkled at the ends and the feeling of how perfectly your hand fit into his own. Trevor struggled to introduce himself, feeling his hands begin to sweat and kicked himself from pulling away so quickly. That spark of a connection fading as for a split second you looked saddened before introducing yourself to Josh and the rest of the crew.

'I really like your cookbooks," Trevor blurted out, eyes going wide as he questioned why he said that only to find answers when your eyes met his once more, your cheeks started to warm, a chuckle escaping your lips as you shuffled your feet. "Um, thank you... I see you have them here-erm do you want me to sign them? Wait forget that, that was really rude of me to assume," you ramble, starting to pick at the skin by your finger tips as Trevor rushes to pick up the stack.

"Yes, I brought them here since I knew you were coming. I really like your one-pot pasta bake, really saved my ass during the first few weeks or working here at Mythical and I really just adore all your work and I really like you-" Trevor speaks at a mile a minute, the room seeming to fade around you both as staff begin to room, catching onto the moment you both were having.

"... I really like you too Trevor, you seem like a really great person. I'm happy I get to work with you. Maybe we could go out after we're done filming? I'd love to get to know you more with more time," you reply in an even tone as Trevors heart begins to slow, thankful that you didn't take his rushed words in a bad way.

"I would really like that," Trevor smiles, watching as you sign every book carefully yet take extra time on the last. Trevor starts to lean in, curious as to what you are writing only to find the book slammed in his face and placed at the bottom of the stack. Handing them back over you add softly, "Please read the last one later..."

"Okay," Trevor replies in an equally soft turn before a scream from Josh has you both remembering the jobs you needed to get done.

─────── · ·

🔔 cookingwith(name) just posted to instagram!

─────── · ·

Liked by trevorevarts, goodmythicalmorning, bffs_username and others

cookingwith(name) if you told me 10 years ago that i would be cooking for THEE Rhett, Link, and Good Mythical Morning Staff... I would not have believed you- I still don't believe it.

View all 7,342 comments

goodmythicalmorning we were so happy to have you (and your cooking) on the show, please come again! (we realize how much Josh's cooking now sucks)

↳ mythicalchefjosh hey! 💢 you were not saying that last night when I barbecued those handcrafted veggie burgers!

username09 king/queen of the kitchen, please teach me your ways!

username88 what I wouldn't give to taste some of your cooking, these people just don't now how good that have it!

bffs_username looked so cute in todays video! or well that person in the background did, you look fine I guess...

↳ cookingwith(name) i'm really out here getting slandered on main 😭

username17 anyone else notice how quiet Trevor was in this video? kinda adorable how chef (name) and Trevor kept looking at one another through the video. 💗

trevorevarts send me the recipe from todays video, please, i'm begging! 🙏

↳ cookingwith(name) and what would i get in return? 👀 ↳ trevorevarts uhhh... i'll pay for dinner tonight? ↳ cookingwith(name) you have yourself a deal, sir! 🤝 ↳ username01 AHHHH WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!??! WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS AND OR FREAKIN' OUT>!>>!>?!?!?!

username22 I don't know about you, but i'm really feeling (name) ad Trevor together. Their slight anxiousness and constantly helping one another clean and grab materials was so sweet to watch 🥰

username30 I keep messing up your potato salad dish, help?

username41 I just adore your cooking dear, please follow me back.

gordon_ramsay come on my show next!

↳ cookingwith(name) last time you kicked me out, Gordon. ↳ gordon_ramsay then just don't get yourself kicked out this time, darling. ↳ cookingwith(name) 🙄 no wonder i'm becoming more popular than you ↳ gordon_ramsay don't start saying stuff like that now. I still have the highest subscriber count ↳ cookingwith(name) but not for much longer~ ↳ gordon_ramsay hmm sure. ↳ cookingwith(name) hmm. fine. ↳ gordon_ramsay fine.

username61 not (name) out here beefing with THEE Gordon Ramsay LMAO 💀

─────── · ·

🔔 trevorevarts just posted, check it out!

─────── · ·

Liked by cookingwith(name), goodmythicalmorning, mythicalchefjosh and others

trevorevarts dinner w/ @.cookingwith(name) :)

View all 1,901 comments

cookingwith(name) this was super fun, we should do this again sometime when we both get the chance to next :)

↳ trevorevarts yes, definably, totally, one-hundred precent. ↳ cookingwith(name) okay, cool! ↳ trevorevarts awesome hahaha ↳ mythicalchefjosh you both are too awkward for your one good.

username27 never would have seen this coming on my 2024 bingo card, but im not not here for it.

username01 you two are so cute! I don't know if I rather eat you or your food. maybe both...

spennser woah dude, those flowers for me? I hope you know I'm allergic though.

↳ trevorevarts gosh darn! thought i really nailed them.

username60 this post made me smile.

goodmythicalmorning does this mean we get more good food? because then we are all for this.

username40 calling it now, they are getting married!

─────── · ·

After your date, Trevor could not keep the smile off his face as he walked back into his apartment and took off his jacket and shoes before remembering the stack of cookbooks on the kitchen counter.

Fingers trailing over your signature and short sweet notes, complementing his cookings and to his surprise, writing down a joke of his you linked and nevertheless remembered had his heart fluttering yet again. But even as he was taking his time to observe every curve to every letter of your handwriting, he was anxious to read the last message.

"Trevor, by the time you read this after what I considered to be our first date (and I hope you do too lol). I just want to you know that I'm really excited about this and where it will go. And that I haven't felt this way about anything or anyone in a really long time. I hope you feel the same way, - (name)"

─────── · ·

A few years later...

🔔 cookingwith(name) just posted to instagram!

─────── · ·

Liked by trevorevarts, goodmythicalmorning, bffs_username and others

cookingwith(name) 10/10/30.

comments have been limted

cookingwith(name) longer message: thank you for being my support, the love of my life, the greatest chef and the even greater friend. I could not have imagined life before or without you and I am so glad that we now share this inseparable bond that I will cherish until the end of time. I love you. ❤️

↳ trevorevarts I could not imagine another person I would rather marry and spend my life with than you and your incredible ability to make me forget how to speak for my love for you is inexplainable even if I used every word ever known to humankind. I love you. ❤️

mythicalchefjosh now where do I get one of these magical cookbooks??

goodmythicalmorning so happy for the two of you, everyone here at GMM wishing you both a lifetime of happiness together! (and then some!)

BFFs_username OMG WHAT THE HELL??? My bestie just got married today everyone! and to the only person as kind as them ❤️

gordon_ramsay a beautiful ceremony for an even more beautiful couple. you two have something many only think to be in movies yet make that a reality, wishing you both nothing but success ❤️

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: love some fluff every now and then!

─ · · TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics

[vanfleeter]

Conjure: Chapter 2

Characters: Jake Kiszka, Josh Kiszka, Maggie Warnings: 18+ || Fluff. Friendly banter. Angst. Grief. Mentions of death. Drinking. Mentions of being high. Crying. Paranormal. Ghosts.

Pulling his car into the driveway, he spots a familiar car parked on the side of the street.

Magnolia.

But he ended it.

Why is she here?

The driver door opens and she climbs out as he makes his way up the porch. “I thought I-” He starts to speak.

“I know, I know,” She says as she walks up the driveway. “And I know why you don’t want to pursue this any further, and I completely understand.”

“So then why are you here?” He sighs heavily as he turns back around to face her.

“Well geez,” She rolls her eyes and places her hands on her hips. “I thought I would be nice and check up on you. You seemed pretty depressed and I was worried.”

“Worried?” He scoffs and rolls his eyes, mimicking her action from just a few seconds ago. “You hardly know me.. Why would you be worried about me?”

“Because Jake,” She huffs. “You aren’t the only one grieving over a loved one.”

“You just don’t get it.”

“Then enlighten me,” She says, throwing her hands up in the air.

Jake shakes his head and pushes open the front door. He knows she won’t go away anytime soon, so instead he invites her inside his home. “Pardon the mess,” He mutters as he drops his keys in the glass bowl on the foyer table.

The foyer was fairly clean for the most part, minus the thin layer of dust. He caught her dragging the pad of her index finger through it. Following him through the hall towards the kitchen, she catches a glimpse of the living room as she walks past the entryway. Beer cans and bottles litter the coffee table accompanied by a bottle of jack and few bags of opened bags of chips.

“Are you hungry?” He asks as he sets the picnic basket on the island counter.

“What do you got?”

As he pulls open the fridge and scans through its contents, Magnolia looks over the kitchen. Similar to the living room. Good lord, how much alcohol can this man drink? Dishes are piling up in the sink and the trash is near full.

He doesn’t realize what she’s doing until he hears the trash can being jostled slightly. He peers around the door of the fridge to find Magnolia dragging the trash bag out of the can and setting it on the floor. “What are you doing?” He asks.

“Taking the trash out,” She simply says as she ties the bag closed.

“Magnolia–”

“Maggie,” She corrects. “I told you, I hate being called Magnolia..”

Jake can’t help the small twitch of his lips as they curl into a small smile. She did tell him that, he recalls from their date. “My mom is such a southern belle and she adored the name, and somehow I got stuck with it.”

“You don’t need to do that.” He says as he pulls out leftover pizza from the night before. No one can really say no to that.

“Jake.. I hate to be rude and all, but I’m gonna be brutally honest with you,” Her hand goes back to her hip and she cocks her head. “You’re a human, not a barnyard animal.” She slings the trash bag over her shoulder and carries it outside.

Well.. At least she gave him a warning. Though he has to admit, she isn’t wrong. This happens every year when it comes to Josh’s anniversary. He falls deeper into the hole of depression and just doesn’t care about anything, not even how his house looks. He doesn’t clean up after himself, which explains the beer bottles and the discarded junk food bags.

“When was the last time you mowed the lawn?” Maggie says when she comes back inside.

“Uhh…” Honestly, he couldn’t remember.

“There’s my answer,” She says with a giggle. “Don’t worry, we can fix this.”

“Maggie, you don’t–”

“Listen Jake, I’ve been in your shoes.. Hell, I still am. So I know what you’re going through and what you’re dealing with. Let me help you.”

“Can we at least eat first?” He says.

“Yes,” She nods her head. “Because I’m starving.”

The rest of the night was spent eating leftover pizza and cleaning the house. By the end of it, Jake is exhausted. He falls onto the couch and rests his arm over his eyes. He feels the couch dip beside him and he peers out beneath his arm to find Maggie sitting on the couch and drinking one of his beers.

“What are you doing?”

She looks over at him as she takes another drink of the beer. “Enjoying a beer..” His eyebrows raise and she shrugs her shoulders. “What?”

“Didn’t get one for me?”

“No..” Maggie shakes her head. “You’ve had enough to last you a lifetime.”

“So now you’re judging me?” He says as he sits up.

“Just stating the facts..” She smirks and he can’t help the smile that appears on his face.

Suddenly she’s pushing herself off of the couch again and walking over to the mantelpiece and looking closely at a candle that Jake used at the cemetery. He had placed it up there in the midst of cleaning.

“What were you using this for?” She asks.

“Oh uh, nothing..” He says, shaking his head.

She picks up the candle and starts to read the back of it as she sips more on her beer. “A conjuring candle?” She questions. “You should know that these things don’t work.” She looks back at him to find his cheeks slightly tinged with a pink hue. She smiles and sets it back down on the mantelpiece. “You were trying to see him again, weren’t you?” She asks as she goes back over to the couch.

“How’d you know?”

“I saw his photo in the dining room when I was cleaning in there. You had it turned over…” She sits back down beside him and sets her beer on the coffee table. “I had no idea he was your brother..” She says. “I remember reading all about it when it occurred, but other than that, no one really mentioned his family.”

“You didn’t know about the band?”

Maggie shakes her head. “No.. But I do now,” She giggles.

“Little late for that,” He mutters.

“Oh please,” Maggie rolls her eyes. “Elvis Presley earns new fans all the time. Same with the Beatles and two of them are dead. Don’t forget Nirvana. They’re still collecting fans even after Kurt Cobain died, and Dave Grohl fronted his own band. He kept going again after losing Taylor Hawkins.”

Jake shakes his head. “No one can replace Josh. Not in a million years.”

“I’m not saying he has to be replaced.. Not at all. But the band still earns new fans every day.”

“Only because of Josh’s death..”

“You really think the worst now, huh?”

“Well it’s true.. After his death, everything skyrocketed again. Sure you might have a lot of fans while you’re alive but no one truly cares until there’s a tombstone with your name on it.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Why care about someone when they die when you never cared about them when they were alive?”

Maggie nods her head in agreement. “You make a fair point.”

“The band can’t continue without him. It wouldn't be the same. We’re done.”

“And you think using that candle to conjure him he’ll come back and the band can continue?”

“One could hope..”

“Or be delusional.” She mutters, making him chuckle. “How long have you been using that thing anyways?”

“Every Halloween since he passed.”

“And has he ever shown up?”

Jake shakes his head. “You’d think I’d get the hint by now but,” He huffs and shrugs his shoulders. “I still have hope that something will let me see him. Just one time.”

“Hope is a powerful thing,” Maggie says. “It keeps someone going even when they know they should give up.”

“Do you think I should give up?”

“Nope,” Maggie stands back up again. “I have a plan.”

Jake looks up at her, his eyebrows creased together. What is he about to get himself into?

“Halloween is almost over,” He says.

“Oh I know,” She says. “This is for next year.”

“Okay? What am I supposed to do until then?”

“Pull yourself together,” She says, giving him a smile.

He scoffs. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” She giggles. “But so are you.” She says.

“You sound like my brother..”

Maggie smiles and finishes off her beer. “Well someone’s gonna have to sound like him, knock some sense into you.”

“After twenty-eight years, I’m okay not having a voice of reason now.”

“Too bad,” Maggie says. “You’re stuck with me now. Especially tonight.. Can I spend the night? I definitely drank my weight in beer.”

Jake chuckles and stands up from the couch. “I’ll show you to the guest room.”

The middle of the night soon crept up and Maggie finds herself waking up in the darkened bedroom. Rolling over in the bed and resting on her back, she stares at the ceiling as she listens to the quiet. The quiet wasn’t entirely quiet as her hearing picked up on the sound of a guitar lightly strumming from somewhere else in the house. As she sat up in bed and started to climb out of it, she realized that the guitar was coming from outside. Walking over to the window, she quietly pushes the window open and looks out into the backyard.

Sitting down below in a patio chair, Jake is strumming a tune on his guitar.

Closing the window, Maggie slips on her sweater and makes her way downstairs. Jake is setting his guitar off to the side, leaning it against the table when Maggie steps through the open back door. He’s leaning over with his elbows on his knees and digging his hands into his hair.

He sniffles and wipes his hand beneath his nose. Maggie walks over and kneels down in front of him. He sniffles again and lifts his head.

“Fuck, I’m sorry…” He mutters. “Did I wake you?”

Maggie shakes her head. “No, you didn’t.” She says. “Are you okay?”

Jake inhales deeply and sits back up as he wipes his hands over his face. “Just one of those nights, I guess..”

Maggie stands to her feet and moves to sit in the chair beside him. “My sister passed around the same time as Josh did..” She leans her elbows on the table. “The first year was horrible.. I cried nearly every night, I never left my bed which resulted in me rarely eating so I lost quite a bit of weight.. I’ve gotten a little better since.. I actually eat now,” She laughs lightly causing Jake’s lips to twitch into a small smile. “I try not to drink a lot–except for last night, of course.”

He chuckles. “You did drink half of my twelve pack.”

“Less for you to drink.”

“You know, you would suck as an AA sponsor..”

“Good thing I’m not one.”

The air grew quiet as they settled in their chairs. The only sounds now were an owl hooting every now and then. “What was your sister like?” Jake suddenly asks.

“Hmm, well..” Maggie pulls her legs up to her chest and curls into the chair. “She’s my older sister.. Was.. But she was always so happy, it wasn’t often she was ever angry or upset–unless I was stealing from her closet, which I did often.”

Jake chuckles and leans back in his chair. “Sam did that often with me..”

“It’s a younger sibling thing,” She says, making him laugh again. “Everything was always sunshine and rainbows. Everyone loved Dani.”

“Her name was Dani?” Jake asks.

Maggie nods her head. “Danielle, but she preferred Dani.”

“What are the odds?” He says. “You have a sister named Dani and my best friend is Danny, but with two ‘n’s and a ‘y’.”

Maggie looks over at Jake, her eyebrows raised in question. “Are you on something right now? Like.. Did you smoke while you were out here?”

“I may have had an edible.” He chuckles.

Maggie giggles. “I can tell,” She says. “Anyways.. Dani loved life and she loved to travel. She’s basically been just about everywhere on this earth. She really wanted to go to Iceland, spend some time there–live there if she could.”

“Never been to Iceland before,” Jake says. “Though it looks gorgeous.”

“Oh it is,” Maggie says as she drops her hands to the table. “At least from the photos and videos she’s shown me from travel influencers. She promised she would take me there to see the Northern Lights.”

“I’ve not seen those either,” Jake says. “Always busy, or it’s too cloudy. Even when we had shows in Canada, I always missed them.” He leans on a closed fist. “Tell me more about Dani.”

“You seem to be really interested in my sister,” Maggie says, cocking her head to the side.

“It’s distracting me,” He says with a small smile.

“Okay well….”

Back and forth they talked about their passed loved ones until Maggie made the decision to head back inside and go back to bed. “I think I’m gonna stay out here a little while longer,” Jake says.

“Oh no you don’t,” Maggie says. “Out of the two of us, you need sleep.” She pulls him out of the chair and he swipes his guitar as she drags him back inside. “What would Josh do if he saw you high as a kite and moping out here?”

‘I’d do exactly what you’re doing..’ Josh leans against the kitchen counter with his chin in his hand. “Also I found out I can leave the cemetery..’

He follows the two of them up the stairs until they stop in front of the guest room. “Think you’ll be able to sleep or do I need to hold your hand?” Maggie says.

Jake scoffs and rolls his eyes. “I can sleep on my own, Mom…”

‘Jake, if you don’t make her yours, I’ll haunt you for the rest of your life.’

Maggie gives Jake a smile and pats his cheek. “Goodnight, Jake.”

“Goodnight, Magnolia..” Jake teases. He quickly backs away before she can swat at him.

“Sleep with one eye open, Jake.”

He smiles before turning back on his heels and going back to his room. Josh follows after him and floats through the door after Jake closes it.

‘That would have been bad had I been living..’ He follows Jake to the bed and relaxes back against the pillows. ‘I like her,’ He says when Jake crawls under the covers. ‘She’s such a keeper.’

“Goodnight Josh..” Jake grumbles as he snuggles down into the blankets. ‘Goodnight little brother,’ Josh snuggles down into the bed himself and closes his eyes.

would you like to be added? add yourself to the tag list!

@losfacedevil @writingcold @ignite-my-fire @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @hollyco @earthgrlsreasy @dancingcarbon @josh-iamyour-mama @oliverfuckingreed @cheersdannyx2 @highway-tuna @musicislove3389 @gretavangroupie @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @thetroublegetssoloud71 @squirreledelman

[phoenixyfriend]

I think Modern AUs of Beauty and the Beast need to lean harder on the "since the morning that we came to this poor provincial town" line

Belle came from something that is not a small, economically shaky rural town! There are a few possibilities, but I choose to understand it as Belle being a City Girl, because I think I can make it funny.

This is a City Girl who moved here, and looks Generically Pretty, because she's just Different from the others (that's why she's the most beautiful girl in town). It's not necessarily that she is prettier, but small towns tend to have limited options, and a new look is an interesting one.

She reads so many books because she never got agribusiness classes in high school, so she isn't set up for small town life in terms of actually getting a job locally, and she tends to avoid other people and hide in her books because it's easier than people. Everyone reads into this as her being kind of stuck-up and snotty because she looks down on the locals.

Her dad is some Weird City Man Who Lost His Tenure For Blowing Up The Science Wing, so he's now the eccentric who had to move to Nowhere, Middle Of for the sake of getting away from a whole lot of Crap regarding his reputation.

The local dudes who all peaked in high school are joshing for a chance at Belle, because she's the Hot City Girl. They do all think she's weird as hell because she's got Political Opinions And Uses The Wrong Slang, and are very much of the opinion that there is a certain level of crazy that can be excused by being hot enough.

Cue "Dad gets lost, gotta go find him, agree to stay in the cursed castle because, well, gotta save Dad! And curses are a pretty extenuating circumstance to 'weird guy wants me to stay with him indefinitely,' especially since isn't asking for sex or housework while living with him, so... whatever. I still have a phone and Dad knows to call the cops if I miss a check-in."

Also in regards to the various servants, there are cult rumors. These days, live-in staff are a lot less common. Nobody's seen anyone from The Big House in ages, but the building still accepts food deliveries and puts out trash for collection, so someone must be there, so the only reasonable take on why they're out of contact is cult.

From the perspective of the town... she falls for that weird rich dude who lives in the foothills and has what seems to be a cult, which for the peaked in high school crew is very "Okay. You weren't that hot anyway, bitch."

The 'magic mirror shows that Belle is trapped by a monster' is actually just people going "aw shit, new girl got sucked into the cult, should we go check on her?" Her dad keeps saying that she's fine and hasn't said anything is really wrong, but everyone insists that she's lying because it's all Cult Bullshit.

After that whole mess is over, with the Beast and crew once again human and Belle clearly annoyed and reading the riot act to both the townsfolk and Adam, showing she's not fallen for any brainwash-y bullshit, she was just a pissed-off girl who decided "I can bully him into being a better person," which is probably a bad decision, but she's a grown-ass woman, so...

The cops are no longer trying to kidnap her back from the local rich eccentric (as opposed to the local poor eccentric, of which there are several, including Belle's dad).

The townsfolk decide by and large that this was probably for the best because Belle's apparently broken the cult situation? Somehow? And people from the big house in the hills are finally visiting town and proving they're alive again, so that's good.

It was never a cult, they just couldn't show their faces when the faces were furniture.

This turned into a bit more 'massive misunderstanding' with a heavy dollop of accidental Hallmark movie, but hey, we got there in the end. We all know I love a good genre mashup, and a romcom on one side with a horror on the other is basically how Disney did it, right?

Also I've been bingeing a lot of SNL and the actress I've got in my mind for this is Ego Nwodim.

[thewritingbeforesunrise]

Confession.

18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI 

______________________________________

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a bit and I finally decided to post it. I hope you like it.

This entire fic was inspired by this picture, but you can really imagine Josh how you prefer in this one. I also drew inspiration from that cursed audio of him whimpering that was circulating a while ago.

Word count: 7K

Pairing: Josh x female!reader

Warnings: NSFW 18+ONLY, graphic sexual content, language, sexual tension, oral (m!receiving).

Link to Part 2

Summary: An unexpected turn of events leads Josh to make an embarrassing confession.

 _____________________________________

A sharp  knock on your door made you jump out of your skin as you were tidying up the green room you were occupying. 

"Y/N! Open the fucking door!" You heard a very familiar voice shout from the other side.

You thought the boys were already on stage by now, you thought you heard the last call at least five minutes ago. 

What is he doing here?

The knocking continued, even harder than before, so you quickly ran to the door.

As soon as the lock clicked, Josh stormed inside and started rambling, words going at miles a minute.

He was already wearing his golden cape over the white jumpsuit with golden marine embroidery that you had designed just for him a couple of months prior, following his directions. 

After a second,  you stopped his ramblings, grasping his shoulders and shaking him slightly.

"JOSH!" You shouted over his words and he finally stopped.

"What's wrong? Why is your jumpsuit half unbuttoned? And why are you not on stage right now?" You fired these questions rapidly, to better understand the situation and he groaned.

"Well, that's clearly the fucking problem here!" He said, hands stroking his hair nervously as he gestured to the zipper.

"This damn zipper isn't working. And I can't go on stage in front of twenty thousand people like this, right? So that's why I am here." He whined.

He was standing next to the door, his exposed chest was glistening with sweat and rising and falling rapidly as he panted, stressed and nervous. 

The zipper was blocked down past his navel, under the little belt that circled his waist, his happy trail was exposed.

You started to blush.

"I need your help, I tried everything. I can't pull it up or down. I thought about using candle wax but I am afraid to stain the fabric and the more I try to open or close it, the more I am afraid to break it. I tried to untangle the fabric from the inside but I couldn't. And I can't even change because it WON'T GO DOWN." He sounded really frustrated and said this while tugging at the zipper to prove his point. 

"I am trapped, Y/N! I need your help" He whined  in defeat leaning against the wall and squeezing his eyes shut.

You couldn't help but look at his chest and feel a little tingle run down your spine. 

I have to stay professional.

You thought, your eyes following his rising and falling chest. 

You quickly recovered and tried to reassure him.

"Let's see what I can do to help you. If I can't do anything I am going to cut the zipper and I am going to stitch it again. You can wear another jumpsuit tonight." You said matter of factly, coming closer to where he was standing. 

"Oh fuck" He exclaimed and he grasped his head between his hands. 

"What?" You said, a confused expression slowly made its way on your face.

"I can't wear another one, they are all to the cleaners. This is the only one I have" he said in an apologetic tone and you panicked. 

"I am in charge of the wardrobe. Who did allow that? I am sure I didn't." You replied confused and a bit angry.

"I did" he said with a guilty smile.

You glared at him and he giggled. That stupid giggle you loved in other contexts. Now, you positively hated him.

"I should make you go on stage like this, troublemaker" you hissed through clenched teeth. 

"Please don't, help me, please" he was begging you now. You watched how he had his hands joined, bottom lip pushed out and puppy eyes.

As if it was really a problem for him. You knew that he didn't have any qualms about showing way too much of himself to the crowd, sometimes. 

You glared at him, but you began to think about what you could do to help.

You grabbed the zipper and tried to push upwards and downwards delicately. Obviously it didn't work. 

You knew what you had to do. The zipper probably wasn't working because some fabric had caught into it from the inside.

"Maybe the fabric of your boxers got caught inside the zipper, that's why it's not working" you said and he giggled again.

"That's impossible, mama" he said playfully and when he understood you didn't get it, he worded it for you. 

"It's impossible because I'm not wearing any" he said in a whisper and you blushed. 

Oh

Oh God

To make it work you had to stick your hands inside it and try to untangle it. 

And there was no way you could do that without pushing your hands really close to his private parts. 

Just when you were thinking of another solution, a voice sounded from the hallway. 

"Three minutes to the stage, you are already late!" Someone shouted and he panicked. 

"C'mon Y/N! Do something" he pleaded and you knew you had no other option. 

You grabbed the zipper again and leaned closer to him. Your fingers slowly made their way on the fabric, around it and slowly dipped inside. 

You noticed how his breathing stopped  as your fingertips slowly grazed the hot skin of his tummy, his hair there tickling you lightly. 

You tried to suppress the deep blush that was creeping onto your cheeks as your fingertips slowly traced the zipper on the inside, till you located the problem. 

You were tracing your finger on the little bump of fabric that was causing the tangle when the door flew open and Jake pranced into the room. 

He stopped dead in his tracks as he assessed the scene in front of his eyes, mistaking it completely. 

You saw the smirk growing on his lips, his eyes never leaving your hand literally down his brother's pants as you quickly pulled it away. 

"Well well well, have I interrupted something, here?" He said, in a playful mocking tone. 

It was Josh's turn to speak now. 

"Fuck off, Jacob. Y/N is helping me unstuck this damn zipper" he said harshly, panting slightly. 

"Yes, of course, whatever you say, brother. And I am going to believe this, right? I am not stupid, Joshua." Jake replied, his smirk still beaming. 

The deep blush covering your cheeks wasn't helping the singer prove his point. You knew you looked very guilty right now.

"Y/N, you have to make it quick, you have two minutes left to fix the "help my brother with the zipper" thing that 's going on here." Jake said and winked towards you, grabbing a water bottle.

You cleared your throat and crossed your arms. 

"Look, Jake, it really is stuck like that" you said, tugging uselessly at the zipper to prove your point.

"And, unless you want to be the one with a hand inside your brother's pants, you better let me do my job or he is coming on stage like this, OK? You threatened him by pointing your finger at him.

He quickly raised his hands and made a retching sound at the idea you just suggested.

"Well, I think I am going to give you some privacy." Jake said while chuckling and wiggling his eyebrows towards you. He left quickly before Josh could hit him. 

As Jake opened the door a voice shouted "One minute to the stage!"

Your eyes widened and so did Josh's. You quickly resumed your position in front of him and you slowly traced the zipper with your fingers.

You slipped them inside the jumpsuit and found the problem. 

You tried to tug lightly a few times but it didn't work. You felt how his breath hitched in his throat as the fabric slowly shifted against his bare skin and you blushed. 

Your blush intensified as you noticed how the situation was affecting him. 

Your hands were so close to his crotch that you knew he couldn't keep his mind from wondering what could happen if you pushed your hand lower. 

Actually, you could see very well the effect those thoughts were having on him, in the growing erection he was sporting. You could also feel his gaze burning on your face, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his eyes. 

You grabbed the zipper with your other hand and tugged upwards. At the same time the hand that was tucked in his pants tugged downwards and the zipper unlatched. 

The force with which you tugged at it caused your hand to dip lower in his pants and you both gasped at the same time. 

Oh

Oh, fuck.

You were almost sure you had touched him in the process and, rapid as a lightning you pulled your hand out of the jumpsuit. 

You couldn't look him in the eyes so you turned around to get a bottle of water for yourself. 

You couldn't see his shocked and slightly aroused expression as he thought about what had just happened. 

After a few seconds you heard him move and you heard the sound of the jumpsuit zipping up. 

"Y/N, how do I look?" He asked you, admiring himself in the full length mirror and checking his hair.

You turned around to properly look at him and he looked ravishing, as always. 

You were really proud of the work you had done while tailoring this jumpsuit. It was your favourite because it looked divine on him, it suited him perfectly. This meant that you could easily see every detail of his body. And, right now, the fabric was clinging to the very prominent bulge between his legs, making it impossible for you to focus properly on anything else.

You quickly averted your gaze and told him he looked great, ushering him out of the room to join his bandmates there. 

In the hallway, the moment Jake made eye contact with you, he smirked and winked, making you blush with embarrassment and anger.

You didn't have time to tell him off because the moment Josh set foot in the hallway,  they were quickly ushered to the stage.

You went back to the green room and leaned against the wall, trying to process the last ten minutes.

Thinking about what had just happened caused your heartbeat to quicken. You tidied the room and then sat on the couch, trying to calm down a bit. 

After a while, you managed to regain your composure and decided to go check from the side of the stage if Josh had finally managed to destroy the only jumpsuit he had left and flash twenty thousand people with a visual of his bare dick.

Not that he minded, you knew that very well.

You walked along the same corridor the boys had been ushered from less than an hour ago and you reached the side of the stage where Jake was. 

He was prancing around absolutely smashing it with his Gibson, as always.

As he spotted you, he winked and a menacing smug smirk twisted his features. 

You knew he had something in mind, you had seen the very thought develop in his beautiful talented brain.

He kept eye contact with you as his hand moved a few times up and down the fretboard of his guitar, very suggestively, producing a moaning sound.

You knew he was mimicking the actions he thought he had seen his brother and you partake in inside the green room.

To put the cherry on top, you blushed wildly at his action, from embarrassment, but he mistook it for guilt and laughed at your expenses. 

Smug bastard.

You decided to avert your eyes from his whoring demeanor only to land on his twin, who was already watching you.

He was still clothed, thank God, but the white fabric of his jumpsuit didn't conceal much. You could see, and so could everybody else, that the bulge was still there, and it was even more prominent than before.

You were about to go back to the green room when you noticed an imperceptible movement from Josh. The crowd in front of them didn't catch it, but you, standing there at the side of the stage, very much could.

He was grinding the tip of his erection against the mic stand, while singing.

It was almost non-existent at first, but he became more and more impatient as the time passed and his movements couldn't be mistaken from your point of view.

The moment his eyes landed on you, he did it again, but this time he let his head dangle backwards, exposing his sweaty  throat and neck and keeping his mouth open in a display of a silent moan.

He swallowed and you had to forcefully avert your eyes from the indecent bobbing of his Adam apple.

He even brought his hands up and arched his back with a little satisfied smirk on his beautiful face.

You turned around and almost sprinted towards your green room, heartbeat going a mile a minute.

~

The concert was phantasmagorical as always.

When you heard the last pounds of Danny's drums you knew they were almost done. 

But this time you knew you wouldn't leave the venue soon, like you always did, following the boys in hotels or on the tour bus.

This time the owners of the venue had organised an afterparty for the band and the crew and everyone was invited. The boys had previously asked you if you were going to come and you didn't want to tell them no. So, even if you didn't like afterparties very much you agreed.

After a while, you heard the boys approach your door in the corridor and you went to open it to tell them how incredible they had been on stage.

When you opened the door, Sam and Danny passed by quickly and waved to you, heading to their respective green rooms.

Behind them you spotted the twins and, when they saw you waving at them too, they winked to you in sinc. 

Oh God. If alone they were trouble, together those two were an absolute menace.

You blushed and they snickered. Before you could hide into your green room, a black boot stopped the door from closing.

You knew who it was even before he entered.

Jake strutted inside, followed by Josh, still clad in the tight white jumpsuit. They were both sweaty. Jake's hair was clinging to his neck and throat and Josh curls were disheveled and damp from the exertion of performing.

"Are you coming to the afterparty, Y/N, right?" Jake said before gulping down half a water bottle in one go.

"You promised you would, so don't make up excuses or we are dragging you there by force" Josh said puffing his sweaty chest out, acting like a macho. 

"Well, macho man, you are not dragging me anywhere, and remember that, even if you wanted to, you would have to catch me first." You told him playfully, making him and Jake laugh.

"Just kidding Y/N, I wouldn't drag you anywhere. I would never force you to do something you don't want to." He said truthfully.

"Plus, I am a bit afraid of you, if I have to be honest. You are always so calm and collected, you can hide very well what goes on in that little beautiful head of yours." He said, smirking.

"Still waters run deep, brother" you heard Jake utter with a knowing tone, smug smirk plastered on his plump pouty lips.

They exchanged a look you didn't understand, their twin telepathy was working at its finest.

"C'mon boys, you have ten minutes to shower and clean up before the party" you said looking at your watch.

They thanked you and headed to their green rooms. 

You started to get ready, checking your almost non-existent make-up, your outfit and your hair.

You were about to exit when you heard a scream from the other side of the wall.

It was Josh.

You exited the room and simultaneously, his door flew open.

You could see very well that he was angry. You could also see very well that he was having the same problem with the jumpsuit as before. The zipper was stuck in the same spot as before, if possible even a little lower, exposing a whole lot of skin.

"Y/N!" He whined like a toddler. 

"Didn't I told you that you had to be extra careful with this zipper?" You questioned him, already knowing that your multiple warnings had fallen on deaf ears, as always.

"Yes, but…" he started  but was interrupted by another crew member.

"Guys, c'mon let's go. The party has started, you are the only people that are still missing" he said.

In the meanwhile, Jake had sauntered out of his room and was leaning against the wall across from you and his brother, smirking, with his hair still wet from the shower.

"Are you coming to the party like that, big brother?" Jake snickered pointing at his brother's state of undress.

"Not yet, Jakey, you go first and then we will join you as soon as Y/N fixes this damn zipper once and for all." The singer told him.

Jake's eyes landed on you, and he winked, coming closer, like a tiger stalking his prey.

You stayed frozen on the spot as he approached you. 

The smell of his body wash was clouding your senses. 

"Don't be late, it won't take much anyway, '' he said in a sultry manner, sounding cryptic as always. You pinpointed a bit of irony towards his brother state and you blushed.

"Fuck off, Jakey" Josh said grasping your wrist and leading you towards his room.

Jake left you two alone, but before leaving, he waved and winked.

Once you were inside the room, you closed the door and he groaned, fed up with the jumpsuit.

"I am not going to this party like this" he said, nothing but deadpanning.

"Josh, don't be dramatic, I am going to fix this zipper, I prosise, then you can go have fun" you tried to reassure him, but you understood there was something else bothering him.

You approached him and guided him against the wall to keep him still while you worked on the zipper. 

The moment his back touched the wall with a low thud, he exhaled a little breathy whimper that could have gone almost unnoticed if the room wasn't so silent.

This time, having a bit more time to work on it, you crouched down on your knees to be eye-level with the problem.

He closed his eyes and leant his head back on the wall, squeezing his eyes and his fists at his sides.

As soon as your fingers skimmed on the zipper, he bit his lips, with his eyes still closed.

You decided to pay no mind to him and traced your fingers on the inside of the zipper noticing the problem immediately. In doing so you brushed your fingers timidly on his flushed skin.

He couldn't take it anymore. 

He grasped your wrist and stopped you.

You gasped and searched his eyes. He drew a shuddering breath, then looked at you and regretted it immediately.

Seeing you like that, on your knees and with your big doe eyes looking up at him was worsening his state. 

You tried to pay no mind to the prominent bulge in his pants, but you were falling miserably.

"Josh" you whispered "Are you ok? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, absolutely not, it's not that…" he said and trailed off.

"What is it then? I am going to help you if I can" you reassured him and he laughed.

"Well it wouldn't be really professional from me" he said, hardly looking you in the eyes.

"Give it a try. The worst that can happen is that I am going to slap your pretty face, Joshua" you said playfully and he snorted out a laugh.

"What if that's something I'm into, Y/N?" He said with a glint in his eyes, resembling his carefree everyday self.

"Well, that's good for you I suppose. C'mon, spit it out, what's bothering you?" You asked him still on your knees, with his fingers wrapped around your wrist.

He didn't say anything at first, but his face was portraying his inner struggle very well.

You were about to continue fixing his zipper when he spoke.

"It's just that…" he stopped and shook his head.

Then he tried to go on, but shut up again.

You decided not to push him, letting him organize his ideas.

Then he spoke, looking directly at you.

"It's just that it's been a while" he said and you could see a little blush spread on the apples of his cheek.

A meek smile was adorning his beautiful lips.

You wanted to punch yourself because of the enormous amount of time it took you to really understand what he meant. 

He mistook your embarrassment with confusion and decided to explain himself better.

"It's been a while since I had a beautiful girl with her hands inside my jumpsuit, let alone on her knees in front of me like you are now." He said, finally meeting your gaze.

You blushed wildly at his confession.

"And believe me, it's not that I didn't try to take the matter into my own hands, literally, but it just doesn't work anymore, I don't know why" he pointed out with a humorless laugh.

"What do you mean it doesn't work, Josh?" You asked him before you could stop yourself.

He opened and closed his mouth. For once in his life he didn't know what to say.

"In the sense that you do it and after it feels like you didn't and you feel the need to do it again or…" you voiced in a whisper trying to understand more.

He shook his head.

"I can't even finish Y/N. I feel like I am too wound up for it. I am anxious about it and anxiety worsens my state. To really enjoy it I should be relaxed, and right now I am absolutely not. I don't know what to do and I don't know who I should talk to about it. Telling my mother is absolutely out of the question.

Sam would make fun of me and Danny would be too embarrassed to speak." He said almost without breathing.

"Have you tried talking about it to your twin?" You suggested and he scoffed.

"I have tried but you won't like the answer." He said with a tired smile.

"What did he say?" You pressed him.

"He told me… never mind… forget about it. Just help me with this zipper so we can go have fun at the party." He said,  yanking uselessly at the zipper, without meeting your gaze.

You straightened up to be eye level with him pointing a finger in his face.

"You are not going anywhere until you tell me what your brother suggested" you threatened him and he smirked.

"You won't like it" he said in a defiant manner trying to discourage you.

"Well, let me at least think for myself, Joshua," you retorted.

"Ok, but don't tell me I didn't warn you. He told me to ask for your help, Y/N." He said and you blushed under his fiery gaze.

You already knew that probably Jake's advice would involve something dirty and yourself, but hearing Josh say it caused a shiver to run down your spine.

Now you understood all the little jokes, winks and sneers Jake kept sending your way for a while.

"Just drop it Y/N, it doesn't matter, let's go to the party, I don't care if people see me like this. Already twenty thousand people have, I am not afraid of thirty more" He said grabbing your wrist and starting to walk towards the door

You resisted him.

You couldn't believe you were really considering it, but he was your friend and you couldn't just ignore his suffering and go on like it was nothing. 

He had the courage to confess it to you so you wanted to help him.

He let go of your wrist and watched you closely, not understanding.

You turned towards the door and reached it.

Once you were in front of it, you heard his breath leave his lungs in a defeated huff. It was an almost imperceptible sound and you knew he didn't want you to hear it, but you did.

He thought you were going to leave.

Your hand reached for the key and, without a word, you turned it, closing the door.

You could feel his stare burning on the back of your head. 

You didn't immediately turn around. You tried to heaven out your breath and stop the trembling of your hands, first.

When you turned, he was already watching you. 

You moved and he backed away from you, until he was again with his back against the wall. 

You were in front of him now.

You couldn't believe you were about to do this.

It's not that your mind had never indulged in such thoughts. How could you not. You had eyes, you couldn't deny that he was astonishingly beautiful.

But thinking about really touching him was making you nervous. What if you couldn't help him? What if that ruined your friendship and your working relationship with him?

He was staring at you, not even blinking, but his breathing was becoming ragged. A little whimpery noise escaped his lips and you couldn't think straight anymore. 

Your hand pressed on his chest, delicately but firmly pinning him to the wall.

"Please" he whispered and you couldn't deny him.

Two of your fingers touched his chin and traced further down the hollow of his throat, his toned flushed chest painfully slow and you swore you saw him twitch in his pants. 

You continued till his navel then stopped.

He swallowed, looking directly into your eyes but didn't say anything.  

You were the one leading the game and you could decide everything.

Your fingers inched downwards and he whimpered softly into his throat.

You circled his navel and then began tracing his soft happy trail. 

His eyes never left the movement of your fingers.

As you reached the zipper you felt him quiver.

You slowly dipped them inside and his lips parted with a silent gasp.

His skin was scorching hot and so soft underneath your cold fingertips. 

You went further down and traced them on the edge of the patch of coarse pubic hair there.

You were about to dip your hand further down his pants when a thundering knock threatened to send the poor door to the ground.

"JOSHUA, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? YOU ARE NEEDED AT THE PARTY RIGHT ABOUT NOW. SO STOP ADMIRING YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE" a booming voice you recognised as their manager's snarled from the other side.

You jumped away from him with both your hands on your mouth trying to cover any kind of sound.

"I AM ALMOST READY, GIVE ME A MINUTE" Josh shouted from the inside.

"You have thirty seconds, or I am bringing you down myself" you heard the other man threaten before running away.

Josh huffed, defeated. 

"Let's go" He said without meeting your eyes

"You don't want to change? I can unstitch the zipper…" you tried to say but he interrupted you.

"No Y/N, let's go, don't worry" he motioned you outside and you followed him.

~ 

Thankfully, the party ended pretty quickly so it wasn't too late when the crew, the boys and you retreated back to the hotel that fortunately was on the other side of the road.

As you checked in, you noticed that your key number was different from the one of the other crew members. You understood that the hotel concierge had assigned you a room on the same floor as the guys. 

As you reached your floor with the fastest lift you had ever seen, Sam, Danny and Jake went right, wishing you good night, while you and Josh, who was wearing a tshirt that he had borrowed from Danny to cover his modesty, headed left, following the numbers on the walls. 

As you entered your room, you jumped face first on the bed, exhausted. 

After a while a knock on your door startled you.

"Sorry, Y/N. It's me again" you heard Josh mumble from the other side of the door.

You opened it and ushered him inside.

He was still wearing the damaged jumpsuit.

"Right, let me grab my scissors so I can try to unstitch this without tearing up the fabric." You said, rummaging through your bag.

"Stay there" you said and approached him.

He was still nervous and fidgety, but once you came closer to him he tried to calm down.

You pushed him lightly to lean against the wall and his breathing picked up slightly. 

The situation of the zipper was the same as before and so was the situation in his pants. He was positively straining against them.

You tried to concentrate on freeing him from the constriction of the jumpsuit.

Unceremoniously, you knelt down and stuck your fingers in the jumpsuit, bringing the white fabric away from his skin and closer to your face, to be able to work without cutting him.

Inevitably this caused the fabric to drag on his flushed skin, eliciting a strangled sound from deep in his chest.

"Sorry" you mumbled and then started working.

You managed to cut some threads and then you slowly moved downwards to unstitch the bottom of the zipper.

The break of a particular tight thread you were carefully yanking caused your wrist to brush inadvertently against his bulge and he almost doubled over with a pained groan.

He needs help, he can't relax like this, you thought blushing.

"I think you can free yourself from this burden now" you said referring to the damned jumpsuit, straightening up to look him in the eyes, with the torn half of the zipper in hand.

He looked even more handsome against that dark wooden wall. His tanned skin was very exposed thanks to the missing zipper and gleaming in contrast with the stark white of the jumpsuit. 

You knew he wanted to say something, anything to convince you to help him, but he couldn't find the courage.

You could see the battle between feeling good at last and staying professional behind his soft deep brown eyes.

You decided to ease his stress and help him.

"Thank you Y/N, you are the only one who can put up with me without freaking out. Thank you for your patience with this thing" he said sheepishly, pointing at the jumpsuit.

He was about to turn around and go when you stopped him.

"Josh" you said and the hand he had on the door handle dropped.

"Hmm?" He said turning around slowly.

You were the fidgety one now, wringing your hands in front of you.

You both started talking at the same time. 

"For what I said earlier…" he started

"Earlier in the green room…" your voices overlapped and you both blushed.

"Y/N, forget about it, it was absolutely unprofessional on my part, even rude. I am really sorry if I have upset you" he said genuinely concerned looking down at the floor.

"Josh, it's ok, don't worry, I am not upset at all" you said and he smiled.

He thanked you, wished you goodnight and was about to exit when you stopped him with a hand on his bicep.

"Josh, wait…" you whispered.

He slowly turned around and smiled at you. His usual beaming smile was blinding you now, and intimidating you at the same time.

"Let me…" you tried to say but you stopped, embarrassed

You exhaled and then went on.

"Let me help you, you can't stay like that" you whispered without meeting his eyes. 

"You don't have to, I will figure something out, you have already done enough for me tonight." He said truthfully.

"Ok, bye Josh, have a goodnight" you waved at him and he exited. 

~

You got ready for bed, but you couldn't sleep. You kept tossing and turning around uselessly thinking very unholy things about the man sharing your wall right now, who, to make matters worse, happened to be your boss.

You were about to stand and make a cup of tea, to help you calm down, when you heard the water running and a muffled groan on the other side of the wall. 

Then nothing.

After a few seconds, you heard it again, this time it was a curse and a long drawn out whimper.

You couldn't mistake what he was doing, or at least, trying to do.

Those noises erased even the last bit of sleep that your brain possessed and turned you on beyond belief.

Your panties were sticking to your skin now and you almost slipped one hand into them for a quick needed solo session, but you stopped.

He sounded like he was in pain. He wasn't having fun doing that, like he should be. You couldn't let him feel like that. You wanted to help him, or at least try to.

You stood and, without a thought, a second later you were knocking softly at his door.

Nothing

You knocked again and you heard some commotion coming from the other side.

You heard the peep-hole open then close and he finally opened the door.

"Y/N? Is everything ok?" He asked. He had only a towel on, his curls damp and unruly.

"Yes…well, no. I couldn't sleep and I heard you were awake too and I wanted to know if you wanted to watch a film with me" you blatantly lied to him, but what else could you do? Or say?

"Hi Josh, I heard you were trying to masturbate in the shower and I wanted to help you?" No way, you really couldn't tell him that.

He smiled softly and let you in. 

"Of course, go sit on the bed, I am going to change and I'll join you in a minute" he said softly, going to the bathroom to change.

You sat against the headboard and waited for him, wringing your hands together and torturing your bottom lip with your teeth, until it was almost bleeding.

After a while, he came back clad into a soft worn white tshirt and grey shorts. He climbed on the bed and sat, mirroring your position.

"Do you have any idea on which film you want to see, Y/N?" He said, patting your bare thigh.

This made you shiver, but you masked it with a shrug.

"No, Josh, I trust you with the choice" you said, feeling his hand burn on your bare skin.

You two set on a movie that was already playing on some channel. He had already seen it and granted you it was good.

You watched it in silence for a while. 

You were slowly drifting off to sleep, with your head on his shoulder, but a sex scene came on the screen and, suddenly, you were wide awake again.

You felt him tense but you didn't say anything. 

You heard him shift as the scene progressed and an imperceptible whine left his lips because his movement caused the cotton of his shorts to caress his still strained cock.

He thought you were sleeping so he slowly lowered you on the pillow and stood. He started to pad towards the bathroom but you stopped him with a call of his name.

"Josh" you whispered and he stopped but didn't turn.

You stood and reached him.

He turned and leant against the wall, head in his hands, panting.

You couldn't wait anymore. 

You wanted to make him feel good.

You grabbed his wrists and lowered them to his sides. He looked at you then, with big shiny eyes. He looked so young and tired. His expression was painful and conflicted.

"Stop me if this is something you don't want." You whispered into his ear, placing a trembling hand on his chest and meeting his nervous gaze.

"Y/N, I don't want you to do this" he tried to say but, as you pressed him a bit more against the wall, he shivered and a breathy impatient whine left his lips.

"Shh Josh, just tell me what you need, nobody will know about this" you whispered.

"Please…" he whispered back.

You slowly lifted his tshirt exposing his tanned chest and then you discarded it on the floor.

His gaze was smoldering. 

"Please what, Joshua?" You whispered, encouraging.

He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again, locking gazes with you. You saw a new fervor inside them.

"Please, touch me" he huffed out.

You repeated the same actions that their manager had interrupted before into the green room.

You placed two fingers on his chin, and slowly dragged them down, on his neck, between his pecs and on his tummy. You swirled them slowly around his navel and trailed them even lower, following his happy trail and stopping against the hem of his shorts. 

He was panting now, his heavy breathing was the only sound filling the room.

You moved even closer to him to whisper into his ear. In doing so you placed a trembling hand on his chest, right on his heart. It was beating furiously underneath your palm and it only spurred you on.

"Is it ok if I take these off?" You asked, tracing your finger on the waistband of his shorts.

"Please" he whispered. 

You knelt down and started kissing the flushed skin right above the waistband. You sucked a faint mark there and he rewarded you with a breathy moan of your name.

You hooked a finger into the waistband and started to pull his shorts down, slowly.

"Fuck" he groaned as the fabric touched his sensitive skin.

As your fingers moved the cotton downwards, you felt him shiver, goosebumps rising on the soft skin of his hips.

The grey fabric pooled at his feet and a relieved moan left his lips as his erection was freed from that constriction.

Your eyes were trained on him and your mouth watered. 

He was rock hard and twitching against his tummy, the skin was flushed and the head was an angry shade of red and already leaking. 

White drops of precum were adorning his sensitive tip. He was beautiful.

The mere contact with the slightly cooler air of the room, caused his hips to buck forward, in search of friction.

"Hand or mouth, Josh?" You asked and he groaned.

"Whatever you want, Y/N, whatever" he all but sobbed, and you couldn't take it anymore. You needed to taste him.

You decided for a combination of both and you went to work.

You slowly wetted your lips and swirled the hot tip of your tongue on his head, wrapping your hand slowly around him.

He moaned, loudly, and you whimpered. His skin was scorching hot and his salty taste was heavenly.

The sudden contact with your warm tongue caused him to almost lose his balance. You spotted an armchair, close to where you were kneeling and motioned for him to take a seat.

"Josh, sit down" you said and he nodded.

When he sat down, you resumed your position between his legs and he twitched.

"Lay back and relax" you told him and he obliged without a single word.

You took the tip between your lips and slowly made out with it, swirling your tongue around the foreskin, paying extra attention to the little spot under his head that had his hands claw at the arm rests. 

"Oh my… fuck, Y/N" he whined and you stopped, letting him regain his breath.

"When was the last time you came, Josh?" You asked and he blushed.

"Fuck, almost a month ago, I think" he confessed.

In response, you placed your hands on his thighs and took him into your mouth. He doubled over with a loud curse.

With every sucking motion, he was letting out a whimper, signaling to you that he was close.

As you kept pleasuring him, his hips started bucking upwards every time you took him deeper into your mouth. 

You tried to fight your gag reflex as he hit the back of your throat a few times. Tears were starting to prickle at the corners of your eyes but you didn't care.

You locked gazes with him and he warned you through gritted teeth.

"Y/N, you better stop if you don't want me to…" he started but trailed off when he felt you swallow around him, the muscles of your throat clenching around him.

"Shit, Y/N, I am cumming." He groaned and a second later you felt his hot release trickle down your throat. 

His taste made you feel hazy and lightheaded. 

He kept moaning and whining low in his chest as your mouth stayed on him through his entire orgasm.

He let out a shuddering breath but was still hard inside your mouth.

His eyes were shiny and watery, his expression was completely fucked out as he met your gaze.

You kept your mouth on him, despite the soreness of your jaw and started sucking again, gently.

"Fuckfuckfuck" he whispered as both his hands grasped your hair.

You kept swirling your tongue around his shaft, tracing every ridge and vein and sucking relentlessly but gently, positively making him lose his mind. 

He couldn't keep quiet, choruses of pleas filled the room and, when your hand started kneading softly at his balls, he came again suddenly without warning and with a wailing satisfied scream.

You swallowed his warm release again without a second thought, savouring every last drop of him.

This time you released him slowly and he shivered at the loss of the warmth that your mouth was providing him.

Without a word, you straightened up, wiped your chin with the back of your hand and left him there, still twitching, naked and bewildered, wondering if what happened was real or a figment of his wicked imagination.

[katuschka]

Olalla Chapter Seven

Josh Kiszka x f!OC x Jake Kiszka

So, what was supposed to be just a brief beginning of Chapter 7, turned out to be much longer than I initially planned. :D At first I considered splitting the chapter in two again, but after rereading it, I concluded that this is just a fully autonomous part, and therefore should be treated as such. As always, comments are very welcome!

4.481 words

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): depression, angst, internal turmoil, a lot of arguing, some fluff, a very brief mention of gas chambers

If you like the story and want to get notifications, you can join the Taglist

Chapter Six 2/2 Olalla masterpost

Are you uncertain? Or just scared to drop your guard? Have you been broken? Are you afraid to show your heart? And all you never say is that you love me so All I'll never know is if you want me oh If only I could look into your mind Maybe then I'd find a sign Of all I want to hear you say to me

Agnieszka, September 2025, Zakopane

I thought I had my feelings all figured out. I knew this was inevitable…eventually, and I thought I had already made my peace with it. But deep down, I knew I hoped that we still had more time. Or…that I had more time with him, because who knows what he wanted. Probably not me.No…obviously not me. That should have made it easier. I had been convinced that it should work that way, and that’s why I always pushed other guys away – so that they wouldn’t love me. But once again, Joshua proved me wrong. 

Your rational mind keeps telling you to let go, but that’s like telling an addict to just stop. Perhaps at least one more kiss. One more kiss and then I’ll stop…

And that’s a lie. 

Because the truth is, I did get to see him. I even got to touch him again. He held my hand for a little while in that hospital room, but I was so shaken by the whole situation that I only barely noticed how his thumb gently stroked my knuckles. I wish I could go back to that moment, to savour it more, to remember how it felt and not just that it happened. Rationally, that wish makes no sense. How could it possibly make me feel better, knowing that it was over no matter what? I remembered how his dick felt, and that didn’t make me feel better.  

But that’s what you keep wanting: More. Or worse, even something that was never there. Surely, acquaintances, or even friends, don’t do this, right? That’s what you just keep thinking. That’s what I was thinking. And the way he looked at me then. It was just a stolen glance, but it felt like a whole song. I kept replaying those moments in my head on our way back home…well, my home…when Jake’s silence finally left me with my own thoughts and I could focus on them fully. I was still hopeful back then. 

I was, once again, a fool. 

After Jake walked out the door and crushed that hope, I felt as if he left me stranded on a desert island without water. It was a sudden shock I failed to prepare myself for. It felt like falling down the dark abyss for a split second, but the head-spinning sensation was replaced by complete numbness before I could hit the ground, figuratively speaking. Feeling completely disconnected with my body, including the heart, I just kept standing there without moving for a while. Dumbstruck. It could have been five minutes, it could have been more, and it doesn’t really matter. I was stupefied. I remember I just couldn’t feel anything. It was impossible to lift an arm, let alone think. 

The first thing I became really conscious of after a while were my eyelids, blinking slowly. I swallowed when the first fat tears fell down from my eyelashes onto my cheeks. The tingling sensation that started somewhere behind my eyeballs made me aware of my surroundings once again. It quickly spread like acid up my forehead and across my cheeks and I started crying in earnest to relieve that ache. 

I remember I thought that I couldn’t let anyone see me. My stupidity was humiliating and I was sure everyone was sick and tired of my neverending sorrows. I hated myself for letting it affect me like that. I didn’t want to fall in love at all. How could I let myself fall so hard? I mustered all my remaining energy to hide behind the counter where I crouched on the ground and wept silently until mother found me. I know I must have scared her. After she made sure I wasn’t physically hurt, she started yelling something, but I didn’t listen. I didn’t care, because she never approved of any of this. Not because she saw me suffering, but because the reasons weren’t worth it in her eyes. She wore the judgement written on her face, even when she was worried about me. 

Both Maya and dad noticed. They noticed how I fell…for him. Mother never understood me, and I never tried to make her. She couldn’t comprehend it, because she had searched for, and found, someone who stayed. I never really cared about her approval of my actions, but once in a while, an understanding hug would be nice. I was really and truly destined to spend my life alone and lonely. Like a wandering she-wolf, running up and down these hills. 

I didn’t try to explain what happened, I didn’t argue. It just forced me to move and search for more solitude upstairs.

In my dreamlike state, I passed my own door and continued up the steep wooden stairs that lead to what used to be his room for that bittersweet, fleeting moment. I stepped inside just when the last sun rays illuminated the inner window frame before they disappeared for the night. It felt like they disappeared forever, turning my world grayish blue before the black rot would take over everything. 

Once again driven by the self-destructive force, I climbed on the bed and buried my face in the pillow just like I would bury it in his hair. His crumpled comforter was welcoming, too. It still held his musky scent. I pulled it up to my chin and kept inhaling. I wrapped my arms around the blanket and rubbed my face in it, as if it was a ragdoll version of him. Pathetic, I know.

I lay motionless as the room grew completely dark and long after that too, until shallow sleep released me from my misery and replaced it with the sound of his voice, singing again on top of the mountain. He wasn’t alone though, I could hear two voices now. I spent the whole night there. It felt more like a hallucination than a dream. 

And then I woke up, feeling flat and numb. It was still almost dark outside when I opened my eyes. I could still hear the song inside my head, even though it was slowly fading into nothing, replaced by much more mundane sounds of passing cars, flushing toilets, quick brew kettles and footsteps on the wooden stairs somewhere in the house. One can only keep staring at the ceiling for so long, and when the first sun rays hit the tree leaves outside the window, I realized that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in such a limbo. It was time to wake up. I just didn't know how yet. Exhausted both mentally and physically, I couldn’t bring myself to move.   

Nature took care of that at last, finally forcing me to get up and drag my tired body to the bathroom. 

My own reflection in the mirror startled me. Last night took its toll on me, but it had been a gradual process. My hair and the dark circles under my eyes could be fixed with a shower and more sleep, but those hollowed cheeks and bitten lips ornated with scabs and swellings did not appear overnight. 

My grandma would understand. And then she’d yell at me for doing this to myself. 

She was still here when Dominik died. Back then she told me that people leave but we’re still here, and as long as there’s still enough fresh air to breathe, we have to keep on trying. She loved fresh air, always kept talking about how much… and when someone asked why, she scared the shit out of them by telling them that when she drew her first breath, it was full of ash from Oswiecim. When she first told me, I couldn’t sleep for two nights. 

It was melodramatic, and disgustingly morbid and essentially bullshit. The wind couldn’t reach them here, but the words did, and as soon as my great grandmother heard what had happened to other pregnant women not so far away, she threw her rosary into the wood burning stove. That’s what shaped them and that’s what they passed on to me. Sometimes I forget. I didn’t listen to her the first time my heart broke. I was determined to do it now. 

It was time to open the window and let the fresh air in. 

I was systematic. I put the sheets and towels in the washing machine, I washed the teacups he had stacked on his bedside table, while the morning wind took away the last whiffs of his warm body. I put the malachite stone in a tin box and buried it in the garden. I could never throw it away, but I thought I could also never wear it again. I couldn’t even look at it. 

As if burning my wedding dress ever helped… So, half an hour later, I dug it up. Saying goodbye and trying to forget the unforgettable are two completely different things with completely different consequences. That’s what Joshua taught me. I wasn’t going to forget that. 

After I was done with all of that, it was time to take care of myself. Shower, food, clean clothes, even a face mask. All done with equally strong determination. Even though I had to force myself to eat my breakfast, I just did it, without anyone else telling me I should this time. That, alone, was a success. Just mere hours after I felt like my whole being was disintegrating, I was finally taking care of myself. The sun was already high up in the sky when I realized that I didn’t even know what time it was…

Jake tried to call. 

At first I didn’t even know. I missed the first three phone calls as I had left everything at the back seat of my car the previous evening. Holding the phone in my trembling hand. I decided not to call back. I simply couldn’t. What was there to gain? 

I was just sipping on my second coffee that day, watching the outline of Giewont as if I saw it for the first time, when the phone rang again, giving me heart palpitations once again. I couldn’t stand it. I watched the lightened screen for several seconds before I declined the call. Only several more seconds passed when the screen lit up again with a brief message: “Please! Pick up.” I replied this time, asking him to leave me alone, and then I blocked him. 

As days went by, it got easier. I kept working on autopilot at first, but as September came and the trees started to turn gold, I felt a surge of energy and, perhaps, hope. Nature always did this to me. Every change of season always felt like a new beginning.

Indian Summer is a busy time of the year, because the weather is warm and stable. The place was packed and it kept me occupied during most days. Early evenings were tough at first, because the alpenglow always reminded me: how he sang, how his teeth chattered until I used my own body heat to warm him, or how he talked about love that would never go away. And he was right. I could never stop loving either of them; one buried in the ground, the other one far away. Both of them forever out of reach, but forever in my heart. I would never be the same. It was meant to be like that, and I made my peace with it. After a week, my resolution to keep on living grew stronger. I was fully determined to do so. Days went by, and my senses returned. Once again, I could smell the yellowing grass and rotting needles. I loved that. Soon we would be buried in snow and then the Spring would come again, making the meadows bloom and hawks screech. Life is strange; full of pain, but abundant with wonders. 

A few more days passed. Then, on Wednesday evening, just when I felt it was all over and I could finally breathe again, the business phone rang, the foreign number on the screen strangely familiar. My breath hitched when I saw it. What could he possibly want? Why can’t they let me live in peace? With one hand gripping the polished wood of the reception counter, I finally answered.

“This is Willa Eulalia, Agnieszka Sikorska speaking. How can I help you?”

“Hello, veela.” It was the blackberry jam voice again. Just as bittersweet. It sounded soothing once, but I still remembered too well how venomous it could be when he wanted to bite, and I shivered at the sound again now. I wasn’t going to let him hurt me again. 

“What do you want, Mr. Kiszka?” 

I heard him sigh and take a deep breath again. It took him a moment to respond, and I was getting impatient. “I have a favor to ask,” he finally breathed out, his tone low and hesitant.

A favour?!? He had no right to ask me any favours.  “No, I’m afraid I cannot help you.”

“Please, Agnieszka, listen to m…” No, I didn’t listen to him. I hung up.

The next morning, he had the audacity to walk into the lobby. 

I was just going through new reservations when the doorbell rang. We usually kept the front door open only during check-in hours, our guests having their own keys. That day, I left the door unlocked as I was working down there anyway, but the person behind it obviously didn’t know. I checked the camera above the main entrance and froze. He was standing there with his head bent down, hands in his pockets and his long hair tied in a low, messy bun. Equally attractive – and equally lethal – as the one that robbed me of my peace. Well, they both did, in the end. 

I felt on edge all of the sudden, my fight-or-flight response fully activated. It was too late to lock the door now, because he would hear it click. I couldn’t leave the entrance unattended either. I waited with baited breath for him to give up and turn to leave, but instead the bell rang again, making me even more agitated. I couldn’t move, as the sudden realization hit. Was he alone? I tried to calm my beating heart by closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths, while my hands started shaking. That was a state he found me in when he finally tried his luck, opened the door and stepped inside, startling me even more. 

I expected him to be angry, but found only concern and confusion in his eyes. Well, anger would have been more palatable, as I couldn’t stomach his pity, or whatever it was. He took off his sunglasses, looked at the door, then back at me. “Why?” That was all he asked.    

“Please, just leave,” I whispered.

“Agnieszka, I beg you…”

I’m Pani Sikorska to you,” I interrupted him coldly. 

He slapped the counter with both hands, making me jump. “Fair enough. Treat me like a vermin, if that makes you feel better. I don’t mind. And I know I deserve it. But please, listen to me, because I’m here because of him. What happened…it’s all my fault. And… it has nothing to do with how he feels about you…,” he paused for a brief second before he continued: “I probably shouldn’t say any more.” He looked defeated all of the sudden. 

“Not a vermin. Just a stranger, Mr. Kiszka, “ I reminded him once again that it was him who had set those boundaries. I also wondered what he was talking about. What happened? Well, apart from treating me like a whore who was responsible for his brother’s accident, that is. My own train of thought made my blood boil again. “What do you want? What do you want now? And what are you doing here, anyway? Why aren’t you back home already?” 

He nodded, as if he had been expecting all those questions. “That’s the reason why I’m here, actually,” he paused again, as if contemplating something, before he looked straight into my eyes again and continued: “...but mainly to tell you that I’m sorry. So, I’m sorry Agnieszka, and I need your help.” His voice cracked slightly at that point, and the previous concern in his eyes transformed into genuine worry. He looked very tired, too. 

“Why?” I asked tentatively and stood up slowly to be eye level with him. 

“Because Josh is not well.” 

We just stood there looking at each other apprehensively for a few seconds, before I grabbed my keys and went to lock the door. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time. Only when I turned back to him, he finally relaxed. “Tea?” I motioned towards the kitchen. 

“Yes, please,” he smiled ruefully. “And thank you.” He wasn’t thanking me for the tea. I knew that. 

“So… what’s going on?” I asked after I placed the cups on the table and took my seat opposite to him. “The two of you never left Krakow?” 

“No. He can’t fly in his condition. The doctor said we would have to wait at least two more weeks. Three, preferably. I even called the consulate for more information and asked for someone who could give me another medical opinion. It could be done, but at our own risk, and I finally decided that I didn’t want to take that risk. But…that’s not an issue.” 

He paused to take a sip and I expected him to continue, but he just kept staring at a knot on the wooden table, tracing the outline with his finger. He was restless. “Ok, so what’s the issue?” I asked impatiently. “And what exactly do you need me for?” I tried to stay calm…and aloof, just to make it clear that I wasn’t going to let him fuck with me again. But inwardly, I was screaming. He was scaring me, suddenly avoiding eye contact, while I was growing more and more impatient. “Jake!”

He sighed and – toying with a teaspoon now – finally started talking again. He still refused to look at me. “When I arrived at the hospital, he…got agitated. And his condition worsened. They put him back in ICU for the night, and I had to leave, because…because we argued and…well, not my best moment. Anyway... Mom could stay for only a few days before she had to fly back home. Since then, it was just the two of us. They kept him in the hospital for over a week, because he wasn’t eating properly and refused to get out of bed. Things got slightly better then, and I booked a nice hotel room for us eventually…that’s where we’re at now. But I’m at wit’s end. He’s regressing. He hasn’t eaten anything since Monday evening, he spends the whole day staring at the ceiling and he refuses to talk to me. He’s in a bad place, obviously. Everytime I try to drag him out of it, he just turns his back to me and pretends to be sleeping. And I understand that, because he’s mad at me, but…”

He paused again to take another sip, because his voice was getting squeaky. “The doctor said that it’s only natural in his condition, and that it will get better eventually, but it bothers me greatly. I know it’s not just because of the injury. This is so unlike him. So… I’m here to ask for your help. I thought, if we could just stay here…”

The teaspoon slipped through his fingers and fell on the table with a clang that made us both wince. One part of me was heartbroken by the things Jake said, the other part was just astonished by the audacity of his request. It hurt to hear that Joshua was in a bad state, and the caretaker in me was refusing to tell Jake no, but I had to take care of myself too, because no one else did. Would it hurt to see Joshua again? Most certainly. And why should I do that, anyway? 

“I’m a maid, not a nurse.”

“I know I’m asking a lot, especially considering how I treated you last time we met. And I’m not asking you to take care of him. I will do that. I just…we just…I think we just need a better place to stay. We’ve spent half of our adult life in hotel rooms, away from the people we love, and at a certain point it just started to ruin our lives and now it just snowballed and… I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know who else to ask for help. I’ll understand if you refuse, and maybe it was a bad idea all along, but I had to try. I can’t call mom. She’d be mad with worry.” The words were pouring out of him like flood and when at last he paused again to catch his breath, his eyes bore into me with familiar intensity. They were so similar, yet they told a different story. I couldn’t help being fascinated by that. 

A better place to stay. Why did both of them have to be so cryptic all the time? I glanced out of the window, trying to process everything Jake just said, when it suddenly dawned on me and my head snapped back. “What do you mean, ‘just the two of you’?!” I barked. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and scrubbed his hand across his face, as if my question was giving him a headache. Maybe it was. “Christopher left before I got back to the hospital.”  

“What? Why?”

“Because he asked him who you were and what really happened…and Josh told him.” 

I stared at him as if he just pierced me with an icicle. “And what did he tell him?”

“I wasn’t there...” He leaned back on his chair and crossed his arms defensively. It was clearly something he didn’t want to talk about. Well, too late.

“Jake…”

“It’s not my place to tell, ok? I’ve already done enough damage.” 

“Oh, and you think this makes it better…” He didn’t respond. Now it was my time to become restless. I stood up and started pacing the small room. I felt like a marionette in some puppet show they all played together, only it all felt too real to me.

And I felt like a marionette, too, throwing my arms around with each sentence I spat at him: “You know what? It doesn’t matter. Whatever he told him, it clearly wasn’t something I’d enjoy hearing. Thankfully, he didn’t even bother telling me. At least you were honest. Go to hell! Both of you.”  

He stood up too, pushing the chair away with a squeak. “What the fuck do you mean? He tried to call you as soon as they let him use my phone! But you rejected him! He was a MESS after that last message you sent. And I was so mad! It only convinced me that I was right about you. Well, just like now. It just shows I was! And this was a mistake. You never cared. So, fuck you very much and have a nice day.” He was just turning to leave again when I lost it. 

“YOU THINK I WASN’T A MESS?!? When you told me that my services were no longer needed? I didn’t pick up the phone, because I was just trying to get my own shit together, and too scared to hear more of what you had to tell, Mr. Kiszka. I risked my ass when I went searching for your brother ALONE in a fucking storm! He was hypothermic when I found him, and I spent the whole night up there keeping him warm. Why do you think I did that, huh? Fuck you too! Asshole!” 

It never occurred to me that it might have been Joshua calling. But at that time, it didn’t really matter. I was just trying to be a functional human being again. All those years of having been a shitty person hit me like a boomerang and bit me in the ass the moment I saw Christopher in Joshua’s hospital room and became a third wheel in this farce. And now this. It just hurt. I knew too well what kind of information could possibly make Christopher leave, but the idea only made me feel nauseous, because even the unlikely possibility that it might be the case suddenly opened the wound that only just started to heal. It’s the kind of information that’s supposed to make you feel better, but it felt like a huge stone in my stomach. It was a huge mess, and it left us all hurting. And I was to blame, too. 

When we finished yelling at each other, we stood facing each other for a while, eyes wide, fists clenched and nostrils wide. 

I swallowed hard and my eyes finally welled with tears.  And when he finally moved, I expected him to leave for good this time. I buried my face in my hands, so I didn’t notice that he just moved around the table, until I felt his fingertips wrap gently around my forearms. He pulled my hands away and looked into my eyes again, his brows furrowed with concern. “I’m sorry, veela. This is all my fault.” 

I sobbed violently and he hugged me. It was unexpected, but suddenly very welcome. I hadn’t even realized how much I needed someone’s warm touch, and his was strangely comforting. I let him stroke my hair and he let me sink my fingernails into his half exposed chest. 

“Ok, bring him along,” I mumbled after a while, with my lips almost touching his clavicle. 

“What?” He pulled away a little, so that he could look at me again. 

“Bring him along,” I repeated, wiping my tears with my fingertips. “I have almost no apartments left right now, except his old little attic room, but the one just next to it will be free on Saturday, so I can book them both for you. It’s not much, but…”

“No, it’s perfect. Thank you.”   

I invited him to stay for lunch, but he declined politely, because he couldn’t linger. He had to go back to Krakow so that Joshua wouldn’t be alone for too long. It was obvious Jake worried about him very much, and it made my heart hurt even more. But we were going to make this better…

I went to see him off all the way to his rental car across the street. After we said goodbye and hugged again briefly I handed him a large package full of homemade mushroom pastries and chocolate doughnuts for Joshua. 

He opened the car door and hesitated, turning to me one more time. “You know…you really should know that he…”

“No, don’t. You were right. It’s not your place to tell.”

@its-interesting-van-kleep @edgingthedarkness @writingcold @thewritingbeforesunrise @lvnterninthenight @fleet-of-fiction @takenbythemadness @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @tripthelightfantastix @sanguinebats @love-isnt-greed @klarxtr @kiszkas-canvas @wetkleenex-gvf @clownstarr @lipstickitty @Dayumclarizzel @gvfmarge @emojakekiszka @hollyco @lizzys-sunflower @fleetingjake

[eddiediazismyhusband]

No but you’re so right about not wanting to watch season 8 because after how they handled the doppelgänger storyline I don’t want to watch it, with the rumours Gavin isn’t coming back and how this show has handled estranged parents storylines in the past I just have zero faith they’re going to do Eddie any justice especially after they sent him back to before the show levels of development, practically erasing everything we’ve seen him work on from seasons 2-6, like I can just picture the Diaz parents redemption and Eddie thanking them for taking Chris and ignoring everything a little like they did with the Buckleys

And something something this show hates happy queer parents, I don’t know how to really articulate this but like even if they do a gay Eddie storyline now, it’s not sitting right with me that it’s only happening now Chris is gone, like I know Eddie filters life through Chris/doesn’t really know who he is without the parent role etc etc I know that but with the way they treat Henren on the show and the way they treat Denny and Mara’s storylines, it almost seems like they weren’t going to let Eddie figure himself out while also actively parenting—it’s giving the straight grandparents need to save Chris from his gay dad (like they wanted to all along) i don’t know if I’m getting my point across well but it’s giving a “if you’re queer and a parent you will not be happy on this show your kid/s will get taken away from you”

👏👏👏

this. i understand the argument that eddie needs a chance to examine things without looking throughthe Chris lense, but it feels like he absolutely 100% could have had the realization because of Chris. like it would have taken chris saying he views buck as his dad one time and eddie would have spiralled and everything would have begun to fall into place— i get gavin having conflicts due to his move and possibly having to leave the show but there were so many other ways to essentially write him off (yes ik nothing is confirmed and that he very well could come back in a much slimmed down onscreen role such as may/harry) but it feels like they just went “eh… eddie started to reconcile with his dad…. let’s just send chris away even though eddie realistically would not have built up that much trust in this short amount of time (especially w helena)

and i 1000% agree w it mimicking the henren trauma bc why are we targeting the black lesbians with the same storyline we already saw with Nia…. why are we now lumping eddie into the traumatized poc paranoid losing their kid trope? especially if they plan to make him queer?

like i fully understand this show is a drama, but i miss when it was a DRAMA and not a SOAP OPERA… like earlier seasons had their fair amount of dramatic shit going on but this is just ridiculous and some of it feels farcical to me at this point… especially with the handling of buck’s bisexuality where his coming out scene to maddie included a joke about “always checking out a hot guy’s ass” once again reducing his character down to sex even though Buck has grown past that… idk it just rubs me the wrong way that we’re either sex-hungry, sassy, traumatized, or all three in one and it doesn’t sit right with me.

also them actively chosing to make a known problematic character queer just to serve as a plot device for a sexuality arc that didn’t even live up to any potential bc they kissed once, went on a coffe date and bam they’re suddenly together? even for a straight couple that’s such an anticlimactic relationship buildup let alone a queer one… and not only that but using his queerness as an excuse for his racism and misogynistic behavior as a way to sweep it under the rug is so icky to me… like why is the only decently treated canonically queer character Josh??? (even though even he was part of that whole hate crime plot!)

it’s so hard as a queer person to watch other queer people be told by straight people that they should settle for what we have… and that those queer people listen and also somehow think that settling is all we can do. i know it’s easy to settle for shit, but i’m sorry i did not spend six years watching these two build something beautiful to see it thrown away because what they gave us is (not even) “good enough.”

it really is disheartening.

anyway sorry for turning this into another rant post, anon, i just liked your added point of the traumatized queer parent thing and wanted to expand on that some more!

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 18

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

All OC Characters belong to me

Series Masterlist

July 30th 2021

Airielle numbly walked around the arena before the show started. She didn’t have a destination, she was just walking, trying to distract herself from thinking about Josh. Because, it wasn’t the fact that she didn’t want to be with him, she did. She was in love with him and if he never asked her to move in with him, they would still be together. 

It wasn’t his fault though, he didn’t know the full story of what went down with Christopher. The thought of living with another man terrified her. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, she felt herself shut down. She remembers stuttering out an excuse to leave his apartment, she remembers the look of confusion on his face as she all but ran out of the door and she remembers the pain in his voice as she told him she didn’t want to be with him anymore. 

Airielle let out a sigh as she looked at her watch. It was 15 minutes to showtime so she decided to get her makeup touched up.As she sat down she noticed Yara, a new backstage announcer and Zelina Vega were sitting in front of her. She was about to speak and say hello but something Zenlina said made her freeze. 

“You’ve been smiling at your phone all day. Is it Josh again?” Airielle’s world stopped. Of course he would move on. She was the one who ended things with him. She zoned out for the rest of their conversation as she was pretty sure she had just lost the best thing that had happened to her. 

“Hey Airielle. Can I sit here?” Airielle blinked as she was brought out of  her thoughts. She didn’t even remember walking to catering. “Airielle?” She looked up at Raymond and nodded her head. “You alright” he asked her as he sat down.  She blinked again and forced a small smile on her face. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She said, 

“”You sure, you look zoned out or something.” 

Airielle was about to be sick. Yara and Josh walked into catering with Josh having an arm thrown around Yara’s shoulders. They were both laughing and Airielle wanted to know what the fuck was so funny.  

She needed to get out of there fast. She abruptly stood from her seat and without saying another word to Raymond she walked out of catering. After making a stop at Hunter’s office, telling him she was too sick to work tonight. She made her way to the locker rooms to find Trin. 

 “Hey baby girl you okay?” Trinity asked as she opened the door to The Bloodline’s locker room. Airielle felt her bottom lip tremble and of course, Trinity noticed. “Airielle what’s wrong.” Trinity asked getting the attention of Jon and Joe and they immediately came to the door to see what was wrong. 

Fuck. Airielle thought as she felt the first tear slide down her face. Jon immediately jumped into big brother mode. “Who the fuck did it!” 

“Guys, I'm fine.” She said but her voice cracked and more tears started falling. “I’m gonna head back to the hotel and probably find an early flight home. I just wanted to tell you so y’all weren’t waiting for me.” 

She turned to walk away but was stopped by Josh standing right behind her. Should have just sent her a text. 

Josh noticed her tears and cupped her face, making her look at him. “What happened.” 

“Why don’t you ask Yara.” She said, glaring at him while she pushed him away from here. 

“Oop.” Trinity said, pulling Jon and Joe back into the locker room and closing the door.  

“Wait.” Josh chuckled. “You mad at me? For hanging out with Yara?” He scoffed. “I mean i’m single right?” Airielle wiped her tears and nodded her head. 

“You’re absolutely right, you are single. So if you’ll excuse me.” She said shouldering her way past Josh. 

July 31st 2021

Paul had granted Airielle her two week vacation early and she was beyond grateful. It couldn't have come at a better time. She had just walked out of the gym when her phone pinged with a notification. 

Raymond : Hey, i’m in Pensacola visiting my grandma. You wanna chill or somethin?” 

Airielle bit her lip as she contemplated  his offer. 

To Raymond: sure. Give me a time and place & ill be there. 

Raymond had decided to take her to a local lounge/bar that she had visited with Jon and Trin multiple times and was very grateful that they were not there tonight. 

“How many times am I gonna let you hustle me?” Airielle laughed as she placed the fifty dollar bill he just handed her into her bag. 

“Lets just call it payback for looking at my ass every time I bent over to hit the ball.” Raymond looked shocked then shrugged with a smile on his face causing Airielle to shove him lightly. “ Thank you for inviting me out tonight. I really needed this.” Raymond shrugged and wrapped his arm around Airielle’s shoulder and started leading her to her car.

“It’s not a  problem Airielle, really. I like hanging out with you.” Airielle smiled and pulled her keys out of her purse. 

“I like hanging out with you too.” Airielle’s eyes widened as Raymond started lowering his head towards her. She was about to push him away but… If Josh was moving on, so could she. 

Raymond let out a groan as their lips met. Airielle wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her and deepening the kiss. 

“You know.” A voice called out, startling the two of them. “Here I was feeling bad because you seen me hanging out with Yara.”  It was almost comical how wide Airielle’s eyes were as she turned to face Josh.  

“Josh,” She started. Taking a step towards him but he took a step back and started shaking his head. 

“I’m done Airielle. Whatever games you playin.” He shook his head. “I don’t wanna play anymore. You got it.” Josh sighed as he pushed past Airielle and Raymond and started walking towards the bar. 

“Fuck.” Airielle muttered, before getting in her car and driving away, without saying goodbye to Raymond. 

Airielle... smh..

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

🏷️: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci1996 @jeyusos-girl @theninthwonder

@nbanenefrmdao @empressdede @harmshake @paigereeder @li-da-savage

@alyyaanna @jeysbae @badbitchcentralinc @bluesole16 @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade

@bonni-98 @raya-hunter01 @abadbitchblogs @qveenmikaelson @black-yn

@mzv11 @shantinextdoor @sheyaish @zillasvilla @thatone-girly

@xmonetsworld @kill-the-artiste

[jakeysbuttsheeks]

Godfather v111

18+ mdni

Warnings : profanity, mature themes, sexual content, fingering, unprotected sex , asshole Jake , drunk Jake , puking , other shit

Pairings: Jake x fem reader ft. Ethan

You didn't know how you slept last night with your mind running with thoughts , Wondering what Jake's problem was. You had to ask him. He couldn't avoid it and pretend it didn't happen forever .

You went downstairs, finding Jake grabbing his stuff to leave for work.

"Jake" you say as you quickly grabbed your stuff too .

"yeah?" He asks as he opens the door to leave and you run after him. He was your only ride to work . And he didn't even bother to make sure you ate breakfast. You'd didn't care about that right now. You wanted answers.

"can we talk about last n-" you start to talk as he walks out the front door to the car with you following behind him.

"y|n-!" He stops and turns to face you, making you stop and stare at him.

"I told you already. We were drunk. Forget it" he says and you feel anger run through you , your chest rising and falling heavily.

"forget it!? Do you know what that meant to me!? You know we weren't drunk Jake! You're just a fucking asshole!" You scream loud enough for the neighborhood to hear.

"lower your voice" Jake says sternly but you know Jake could do nothing to do even if he tried .

"fuck you" you squint in irritation as you walks past him.

"where are you going?" He asks as you start walking down the street instead of getting in the car.

"I'm leaving" you say as you march down the street , heading to the nearest bus stand.

"leaving where?" Jake yells as he walks after you .

"I'm finding a place to move out. I'm 18 Jake , did you forget?" You snap at him as you walk away. Jake realised you were old enough to do what you wanted to do now , and that he legally had no way to stop you anymore.

He got into his car and drove to work , hoping to forget about it. But he couldn't get his mind off you. As he sat there in the studio with his brothers, mindlessly playing the guitar, all he could think of was you and everything that happened.

"alright Jake what the fuck!?" Josh screams , almost throwing his mic at Jake as Jake braced for impact.

"you've been playing like shit , what the fuck is wrong with you?' Sam asks as the music stops .

"y|n didn't come to work today. What did you do?" Josh asks , making Sam and danny frown in confusion.

"i- nothing-! It's not that simple Josh it's complicated!" Jake defended.

"wait what-? What's going on with y|n ?" Sam asks , equally as lost as danny.

"they like eachother but Jake's a fucking pussy" Josh answers.

"what!?" Sam and danny almost say in sync.

"I'm not a pussy! I just can't betray Mike! We grew up with y|n like she was our baby sister Josh , it's weird!" Jake yells.

"well , not really if you think about it" danny says.

"I've seen people fuck their own siblings" Sam says out of nowhere making everyone yell at him to shut up.

"that's not the point- I can't do this to Mike" Jake says.

"Mike's not here anymore Jake" danny adds .

"exactly" Josh agrees.

"Who's going to think about how Mike left us and what he did to us when he od'd ? He didn't care" Sam shrugs.

"he's got a point" danny nods.

"and the both of you actually like eachother to the point it can't be denied. That's rare Jake" Josh says.

"she's always had a crush on you" danny recollects and Sam y nods at him.

"fuck but I just-" Jake sighs as he wiped his palm over his face .

"stop stressing Jake. She wants you and you want her , stop trying to deny it" Josh points out.

"yeah well she sure as hell doesn't want me anymore" Jake speak with a sigh.

"what do you mean? Why didn't she come to work today?" Josh asks.

"she went to look for a place to move out" Jake answers and Josh burst into laughter.

"what the fuck did you do?" Josh asks , still laughing.

"well , after I spoke to you on the phone I went up to talk to her. And I might've kissed her and then told her to forget it like it never happened" Jake answers.

"oh my god" Josh dramatically holds his head in disappointment.

"kissed her!?" Sam asks in shock .

"yeah. After y'all left last night, we were playing around and then she kissed me out of nowhere. And I didn't kiss her back so she panicked and started apologizing and saying she was drunk. And then I called up Josh to ask him what to do and-" Jake explains .

"oh don't blame this on me you bastard!" Josh points at him.

"I'm not!" Jake snaps back before turning back to Sam and danny to explain everything.

"holy shit. You're stupid Jake" Sam laughs at the whole story but danny seems to sympathise .

"yeah no you really are" danny says sympsthically. And jake groans in frustration. .

"what am I supposed to do? I've made such a mess of the whole thing" Jake asks as he stares at the floor .

"stop making such a big deal out of it . What happened to the Jake that could pick up chick by just looking at them?" Danny smirks.

"she's not just some chick danny" Jake says .

"stop being a drama queen . just grow some and tell her everything. She'll understand" Josh says.

"yeah. I'm sure she will" danny adds.

"now shut the fuck up and play goddamn it" Sam snaps as he starts picking at his bass , danny coming in with his drums to pick up where y'all left off .

You'd called up Ethan to help you and drive you around. And Ethan happily came to help you, thinking you wanted to get back together with him .

He had been sweet and helpful tho . He helped you find a nice apartment that suited your budget, all you had to do was sign some papers and you could move in. Ethan had bough you lunch after and insisted on driving you home.

Ethan was great. But he wasn't Jake. As much as you tired to get comfortable with him, it would never feel as special as what you and Jake have.

"where's your uh...uncle?" Ethan asks as you let him into the house after offering him entry.

"ew not my uncle. Godfather" you say as you take your shoes off.

"he's still at work. He comes back late so don't worry" you say as you turn to him and he smiles at you.

"why would I be worried?" He smirks.

"I know you. You'll bone every chance you get" you say as you lightly punch his shoulder and he giggles slightly, holding your waist as pulling you into a kiss .

"you know me so well" he says against you lips as you feel him push his hard on against your thigh. He'd probably been hard for a very long time . One of the things you realised about Ethan was that he only wanted to fuck , And you were of no use to him otherwise.

You didn't really want to fuck Ethan right now. But you needed to get your mind off Jake. So technically, the both of you were using eachother. You hoped it was what you needed.

You were wrong.

You were barely wet enough for Ethan to be able to do anything , he played with your clit to try and get you in the mood but Jake was the one lingering in your head. You closed your eyes and imagined Jake touching you instead.

"there you go baby" Ethan praises as he feels you start to get soaked.

Once you were wet enough he started fucking you again, his cock hitting you strong and deep as he kissed your neck , the two of you panting as the bed creaked with your movement and you were finally feeling something.

Jake came home , immediately noticing the foreign pair of men's shoes before hearing the creaking and panting that came from your room upstairs , making his blood boil .

"fuck! J-ethan!" You wailed as you reached your high . You almost called out Jake's name but Ethan was too busy in his own world to notice.

Until the door burst open and Ethan grabbed whatever he could to cover himself, leaving you panting and exposed on the bed.

"what the fuck Jake!?" You scream and you grab your sheets to cover yourself as Ethan quickly threw on his clothes.

"I'm sorry uh- mr.-" Ethan stuttered as he tried to get past Jake to go out of your room .

"Get the fuck out of here" Jake yells at Ethan as Ethan makes a run for it down the stairs.

"what the fuck is wrong with you!? You're not my father Jake!" What the fuck is your problem!?" You scream as you pull your tshirt over your head and grab your pants

"my problem is that I don't want some fucking cocksucker fucking the girl I'm responsible for, in my own fucking house! Were y'all even using a condom!?" Jake yells back .

"Fine then I'll move out next week if you want me gone so bad! And since when did you care ? As if you're not some cocksucker that just wants to bang me anyway" you scoff and then immediately regret what you said.

jake visibly looked like he got shot right through the heart. His face turned red as his eyes got glossy with tears before he stormed out your door , you heard the front door slam shut not long after that.

It broke your heart to see Jake like that . He was being a bitch though. You didn't understand what his problem was. One moment he wanted to act like your father and the next moment he wanted to be your boyfriend.

You dressed up and went downstairs to wait for Jake to come back so you could apologize to him . You knew Jake didn't just want to fuck you. He would never. You should've never said that.

Hours had passed and jake was still not back. You were starting to pass out on the couch , but you were worried about him and that kept you up. You called and texted but he didn't respond or pick up.

Jake came home drunk , tripping and staggering into the house .

You'd dropped off with your phone in your hand and Jake's contact open. Jake's heart melted at the sight. He knew you only said what you said because you were mad at him for kissing you and asking you to pretend it didn't happen, but the fact that you said it meant that you felt it too. And he hated that you felt like he was just interested in boning you.

You woke up to the sound of someone gagging. You immediately sat up , remembering you were supposed to stay awake for Jake.

"Jake?" You call as you went into his room , the door was wide open and so was his bathroom door.

"fuck Jake are you okay?!" You gasp when you see him on his knees , puking his guts out while gripping onto the ceramic of the flush. You could smell the alcohol from a mile away.

You immediately run in to help him , holding his hair up in a makeshift pony as you caressed his back but he kept pushing you away . He didn't want you to see him like this . But what did he expect you to do ? Walk away and leave you like this?

You stay with him till there was nothing left for him to puke out and tears brimmed his eyes with the pain of his stomach contracting so much.

"here c'mon" you murmur as you help him off the bathroom floor , and leaned him over the sink to gargle out his mouth.

"I'll get you water okay?" You say and he nods before you scurry out of his bathroom while he continued to rinse out his mouth.

You came back with water and he drank it all, taking in a deep shaky breath after . He wasn't very drunk , but he wasn't quite sober either .

"I feel horrible" Jake breathes as he sets the glass down on the sink counter and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand

"You should lie down till you feel better-" you say as you hold his hand to help him out of the bathroom.

"No I mean I feel horrible about us. About this" Jake pulls his hand out of yours. You feel your face get hot as you look down.

"Maybe we should talk about this when you're more sober" you say.

"The alcohol just gives me courage y|n. It doesn't make up the words for me" Jake speaks sternly.

"Alright" you nod , having confidence that Jake meant what he said .

"what was that up there with Ethan?" He asks , resting his hip on the sink as he turned to you who was mirroring his position next to him while he pulled out a cigarette and lit in his mouth .

"i- I don't know- nothing I guess?" You answer as you watch him breathe in a puff to get rid of the sick puking feeling.

"no because I just want to make sure before I say what I want to say" Jake says, smoke gushing out of his mouth and nose . You found it hard to maintain eye contact with him in moments like this.

"it was nothing. Just casual" you shake your head.

"okay" he says softly , taking another hit before killing the cigarette on the cold tile , shifting the side of his hip against the counter before reaching out to hold your hand. You instinctively let him take it

"i don't know why you kissed me , and I don't know if you regret. But I'm just going to go out and say that I don't regret it." Jake starts and you feel your chest get tight and your stomach erupt with butterflies .

"I didn't wanna say anything because I don't know what you'd feel about it. I was scared you'd think I'm some perverted fuck , but that's exactly what you think of me anyway-" he says , you could hear the hurt in his voice.

"no Jake I didn't mean that. I was rude and horrible. I know that's not what you are. I just said it out of anger. I really don't think that of you, I swear" you interrupt him desperately.

"it doesn't matter. I acted like a dick and I'm sorry. And I'm sorry if I made you feel stupid" Jake spoke , shaking his head slightly as he stared at the bathroom tiles on the floor .

"and I did mean to kiss you , i wasn't fucking around. I just felt too guilty about it so I asked you to forget it. You'd understand why, your dad was my friend" Jake explains and you nod , looking at him with concern.

"i don't regret it either Jake. I think about you all the time it's making me go mad" you confess as his eyes met yours.

"I know it's wrong and I know it feels like betrayal but I just- I can't help what I feel can I?" You ask.

"no sweetie. You can't" Jake says , the nickname unexpectedly giving you chills as his free hand came up to tuck your hair behind your ear as he looked at you in adoration.

"do you know how happy it makes me that you feel the same way?" He asks and you shake your head.

"of course you wouldn't" Jake muttered to himself as he smiled and looked away , his cheeks were clearly tinted pink.

"I'm tired of all the tension and hiding Jake. I don't wanna keep pushing this away anymore" you say as you unintentionally lean in closer.

"are you saying you wanna-" Jake talks but you cut him off .

"Yes" you interrupt , adreline rushing through you, Your heart thumping excitedly in your chest.

"are you sure?" He asks , looking at you in concern and lacing his fingers with your hand that he held.

"what about Ethan?" Jake asks.

"I dont care about Ethan" you tsk in annoyance and look away before a slight shy smile plastered across his face.

"c'mere" he wraps his free hand behind your back and pulls you into him , wrapping both his arms around you as you did the same for him.

You took a deep smell of his cologne from his shirt , although it had a strong liquor smell as well , you still loved it .

You felt him press a kiss on the top of your head and you broke the hug slightly to look up at him , silently begging him to kiss your lips instead.

He knew what you wanted , his eyes falling to your lips before leaning in and pressing a kiss against your lips. You closed your eyes as you melted into the feeling, your hand went up to hold the back of his neck as you tilted your head , moving further into the kiss .

But he fought back into it , kissing you harder as your mouths opened to catch more of eachother lips. You hummed against his mouth as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

His hands went down to your ass making you panic before he picked you up and sat you on the sink counter in a second , standing between your legs and kissing you even harder , hot with hunger and passion, his eyebrows pinched together in bliss.

You could feel his palms burning into your skin through your clothes from the placement he had on your hips as you fell into his lips , feeling his tongue licking at your lip between the kiss.

You slipped your tongue into his mouth when he opened it wide enough. His tongue played with your piercing that was now almost fully healed , he seemed to like it more than you thought.

You'd wrapped your legs around his waist , arching your chest into his as you bunched his hair up in your fists .

You got desperate when you felt him breaking the kiss , only to pepper kissed along your jaw before going behind your ear , sucking on the sensitive skin , making you roll your eyes back and stretch out your neck for him .

You could feel the curve of his lips against your skin and it felt breath taking. You couldn't help the soft gasp that left you as he sucked harder on your skin.

He lifted up and you crashed your lips against his again , his hands came up to cup your face while you tightened your legs around his waist to pull him closer but he kept moving his hips back.

He picked you off the counter and stumbled out of the bathroom, almost tripping and dropping you in his drunk state , making you squeal against his lips but he rested himself on the door frame before he could fall.

The two of you burst into a hearty giggle against eachothers lips , still not willing to break the kiss as he continued out of the bathroom, laying you gently on the bed as he fell on top on you.

You refused to unwrap your legs from around him , never wanting him to seperate from him as he peppered kissed all over your face. But you could feel he wasn't comfortable, he was hesitant.

"Jake" you call softly as he lifts up his head at you.

"i really didn't mean what I said" you cup his face and jake sighs, knowing you'd read his mind and sensed his guilt.

"i don't want you to feel like that's what I want from you y|n" Jake says , his voice heavy.

"i don't Jake. I'm sorry I said that" you lift up and kiss his cheek and he felt goosebumps erupt around the area.

"baby-" he looks at you shaking his head.

"i know you Jake. you're not like that. And I'm sorry I said you were , I just wanted to hurt you because I was hurt. And that was immature of me. Please don't let it get to your head" you say , still cupping his face over yours.

"i would never have intentions to use you like that y|n. I love you" Jake confesses . Your eyes widened and your heart sank.

"so much" Jake continues in a whisper , his eyes fluttering all over your face , studying the way you were turning red .

"I love you too Jake" you admit , almost like it's been too long that you'd kept that to yourself for.

A smile pulls across his face before he pecked your lips and turned to lie on his back next to you , pulling you to lie on his chest .

You kiss him again , your chest pressed over his. You could feel his heart thumping. His soft warm pink lips felt like cloud 9. You would do anything for him .

You wrapped your leg around his waist and lay on his chest , his breathing making you rise and fall along with it as you payed attention to his heartbeat, your face nuzzled into the side of his neck . He smelt so good.

"don't move out" he says , his voice almost begging. Caressing your back with the arm he had wrapped around you .

"I don't want to" you mumble into his neck and he smiles to himself again, holding you tighter.

NEXT PART

Tags:

@mackalah @mindastreamofcolours @jjwasneverhere @themoreyou-love @gvf23 @sarah-gvf01 @thetroublegetssoloud71 @violetstarcatcher @brookekiszkaa @gvfmarge @mulberrimouse @lyndz2names @imdaisyfee @klarxtr @ignite-my-fire @dannywagnerschoppedhair @heckingfrick

[ashisill]

Honey, it’s alright

Summary: Josh brought you home completely wasted. Jake takes care of you, and attempts to sober you up.

Warnings: obviously alcohol use, mentions drinking and driving(it absolutely does not happen), praise, crying/emotional drunk, sweet absolutely tooth rotting Jake.

~

“Hi joshhhhh” you yelled as he walked into the party.

“Omg your fucking wasted. Girl we gotta go home” Josh told you as he saw the state you were in.

“Wait no I am notevendrunk joshuaaa” you slurred.

“Yes you are darling. I gotta get you home. Can you come with me please?” He asked you as he dragged your arm towards the door.

You pulled away “We going to Jakey?” You asked letting yourself fall into josh. “Jakey Jakey Jakey” you sang

“Exactly! That’s exactly where we’re going” he told you.

The car ride back was a roller coaster. It started out quite with you asking a few questions, and josh always answered them. No matter how odd they were. Then you turned the radio up, and you and josh sang your hearts out. Of course this roller coaster wouldn’t be complete without a breakdown.

“I love this song” you busted into tears.

“Oh god don’t cry” he turned the radio down. You yelled at him for it, and he was trying his hardest not to laugh about it.

“It’s .. just … so …. gooood” the tears fell from your eyes.

“Hey guess what” he said trying to distract you. You tried to guess but it was nowhere close. “We’re almost to Jake!” Which of course made you cry more.

“I miss Jakeyyy” you curled into a ball and cried.

“I can’t win” josh laughed.

You arrive back at your house. Josh had barley parked the car when you decided it would be a good idea to take off running inside. You somehow made it to the door, and Jake opened it.

“Dear god your wasted love” Jake said. “Oh fuck did you drive home? How did you get here? Are you safe?” You laughed as you fell the ground on the front porch. Josh started walking up to Jake.

“I drove don’t worry. I wasn’t even there long enough to drink I promise I am completely sober” Josh assured him.

“How much did she drink?” Jake asked.

“I don’t know I literally just walked in. She came up to me completely hammered.

“Jesus. Hey stand up okay. I gotta get you in the house baby” Jake said, and wrapped his arms around you to lift you to your feet.

“Hi Jakey” you said letting your body go limp in his arms.

“Hi sweetheart” he laughed and gave you a smile.

“I amdrunkkkkk” you slurred.

“Trust me I know” he said but your attention had been turned somewhere else.

“Where’s Josh? Where’s Josh?” You panicked.

“I am right here silly girl” josh laughed.

“Hi joshyyyy. Did you know I am drunk” you let out a belly laugh as they drugged you inside.

“No who would of guessed” josh and Jake both laughed. They laid you on the couch as you talked pure nonsense to them. Jake handed you a water and demanded you drink it all. When you did he just filled it up again. Which angered you, but when you asked him why. He said “I am trying to sober you up so you won’t feel as bad in the morning” he flashed you a soft smile that made your heart melt. It was impossible to be angry after that, so you drank the water.

“Those were such interesting stories my love, but it’s bed time now” Jake said.

“No no I can’t- I can’t I have to- I have no- shower” they looked at each other confused. “You want to take a shower? Jake asked. “Yep” was all you responded with.

“You headed home?” Jake asked Josh as he walked you to the bathroom.

“Yeah you’ve got her” josh said. You broke into tears in jakes arms.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Jake asked you brushing your hair out of your face.

“Josh don’t leave” you cried drunken tears.

“I’ve got to darling. Lover boy is waiting on me. I’ll be back in the morning” josh told you.

“No no no tell him to stay Jake” you said as Jake carried you like a baby.

“He’ll be back in the morning. We’re gonna take a shower remember?” Jake said.

“Oop yeah … okay. Bye joshhhh” you laughed throwing your head back.

“Oop yeah? Interesting dialect” josh laughed at your antics. “Goodbye darling … call me if you need anything Jake”

~

“Is the water to hot?” Jake asked you. You shook your head no, and he helped you into the shower. Maybe it was the shampoo that was leaking on the shelf, or maybe it was josh leaving. Perhaps it was the music that was playing. You started feeling that crash. When the high starts to wear off. Your sorta sobering up and nothing makes sense. Yeah that’s the point your at right now.

You started to whine. Which was followed by “no tears my love. Everything’s okay I promise”. You sniffed, and looked at Jake. “Good job just like that” he comforted you. You had no problem telling him how much praise meant to you. Ever since that conversation he made sure to always give you what you needed. “Your doing so good baby. Just breath”.

“I am ?” You questioned.

“Yes angel your doing amazing. I am so proud of you. Just keep breathing just like that” he washed your hair. You did as you were told, and took some deep breaths. “Give me a few more okay?” You nodded you head, and breathed in and out. “Look at that I am so proud. You’re okay I promise”. He looked you in the eyes, and saw how you were struggling to hold back the tears.

“I know nothing really makes sense right now, but I need you to understand a few things” you nodded your head to show you understood. “You’re okay, your safe, and I am right here” you nodded again. “Do you understand?” Which was followed by a nod. “Words” Jake told you.

“Yes I understand” you said softly.

“Good girl” he pulled you into a hug.

You stayed like that for a while. Skin to skin. Safe in jakes arms. You’ve always thought your inner child picked him. A sense of peace comes over you when Jake steps in. He makes your heart safe. You know he won’t break it, and that’s a feeling most people won’t feel.

~

Jake got you dressed and walked you to the bedroom. “What do you wanna watch?” You cuddled up on his side ignoring the question. “Any suggestions? … no …. Okay then we’re watching this”.

“Nooooo I don’t wanna watch this” you complained.

“Well you didn’t tell me what you wanted. Let’s try again what do you wanna watch?” You shrugged your shoulders. “Use your words”

“Shameless” you said. Jake wasn’t the biggest fan of shameless but he would always watch it with you. Normally getting into the episodes then you’d ask “I thought you didn’t like this show?” Followed by a giggle from you. “Its interesting okay”

As you laid your head on his tummy he brushed through your hair with his fingers. Every time he gently scraped your scalp you could feel yourself falling. “Getting tired sweetheart?” You shook your head no, although you both knew the answer.

“Y/n?” He called out. You finally drifted to sleep on jakes tummy. He picked you up gently and laid you on your pillow. You stirred around letting out a whine. “Shh shh I am here right” he pulled you into his arms.

“Get some sleep darling” he placed a kiss to your forehead.

“Jake?” You asked in a whisper.

“Yes?” He asked.

“I love you” he said weakly drifting back to sleep.

“I love you too” he gave you another forehead kiss “and I always will”.

And just like that two souls intertwined with each other for a good nights rest.