#why couldnt i have blocked him when we broke up???

[idkfitememate]

I really like your stories, especially about the Creator otter. It would be great if when the truth is known, they take the Creator otter to the "true creator" and when he tries to hurt the otter, the attack returns on its own or something happens. to prevent him from harming the beautiful otter and so it is known that he is the true creator, I imagine he would have many more pamperings than before

The Otter Chronicles Pt.3

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૮꒰˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶꒱ა Pairings : GN! Otter Reader x Fontaine

૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა W.K. : 2.2k

໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ Tags/CW&TW : Angst, some fluff, many mental breakdowns

໒꒰ྀི˶˙Ⱉ˙˶꒱ྀིა Author’s note : I. Am. So. Sorry. You have been waiting for months for this but I didn’t know how to continue and then I got writers block and UGH-

But I’m here now :). And your gonna get your wish :3

Future note, this will probably be split up into at least one more chapter because I know for a fact I won’t be able to write all the idea, plus, I have an idea on how to finish it!!~~

As you snoozed peacefully, the quiet seemed to seep into the room, suffocating everyone within it.

“So… the otter sat on your lap… sleeping… that’s the creator?” Finally, Wriothesley broke the silence that had consumed the room, making Furina jump and you chitter under your breath, snuggling into her stomach.

“Do we have any proof?- I mean, besides what happened with the Primordial Sea-“ “Do you need more evidence?” Neuvillette interrupted. His face was stern and cold, hands gripping at his pants.

“Well… it’d be nice to at least know for certain?” Wirothesley sighed out, a hand pressing to his forehead. He leans forward in his seat and took a breath before speaking again. “I mean, genuinely, can’t you see where I’m coming from? Sure, you might trust your gut or whatever magical power you’re keeping from us, but this is a little hard to believe for a guy like me. I mean, who knows! Maybe it was coincidence the Primordial Sea went back into the lock!! Because I’ve personally never seen a creature besides a human jump in there, have you? Maybe it’s all just one big joke I just-“ He stopped, huffing, hands shaking.

“I… we gave our everything… to the Creator. And now I’m finding out it was all a lie? If it’s true, and they really are THE Creator… then I’ve just been lying to myself?? That everything I’ve went through, every trial I’ve faced, every man I’ve stared down as we sent him to his death, every challenged I’ve faced… that i convinced myself that I would get through for them… that it was just a test to prove my worth… my loyalty… would it be for nothing..? I’ve…” The man stood up, chair knocking back behind him as he rose, tears staining his cheeks. Neuvillette also stood, putting a hand in front of Furina. Chlorinde simply sat with hands drawn to her lap.

“I’ve devoted my LIFE to them!! I’ve given my EVERYTHING to THEM!! I thought… I THOUGHT… I THOUGHT THAT THEY WOULD SAVE ME FROM THIS DAMNNATION OF SOULS GRIPPPING TO MY CHEST, CRYING OUT THAT I COULDNT SAVE THEM!! MY SIBLINGS, MEN I KNEW COULDNT HAVE BEEN GUILTY AND AND- YOU WANT TO SAY ITS ALL BEEN FOR NOTHING?!?” “CALM YOURSELF WIROTHESLEY!-“ “NO! BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS!”

A shouting match began between the two men, Chlorinde jumped up and wrapped herself around a now shaking Furina who was about to cry again, holding your form close to her chest. As the men screamed at each other - and teacups started being thrown - you finally stirred, opening bleary eyes at the scene unveiling before you.

Why were people screaming..? What… You looked up to see Furina shaking and silently sobbing over you, Chlorinde hushing her and whispering into her ear, though you couldn’t hear what she was saying. Wriggling around enough to face the shouting, your eyes widened at the sight of Neuvillette and Wirothesley screeching at each other, both Visions glowing wildly at the emotions of their wielders.

It was getting to a point where your ears were starting to hurt, so you leapt of Futuna’s lap, which led to her and Chlorinde whipping their heads to you, and ran over to the shouting men. You didn’t know what had come over you, seeing them both fight - something you never thought you would’ve witnessed honestly - and ran between them paws raised. Both paused for only a second, before Wirothesley started arguing again and Neuvillette followed. You tried to chitter and call over both of them, not getting anywhere with their raised voices.

You took a deep breath, focusing. This had been something you wanted to try since the beginning but just never had the time nor the energy to do so. But if there ever was a time, now was it. Your brows furrowed as you focused on any and all water in the current room, imagining the water following your command, as though alive and you its master. You grunted, catching Furina’s attention as she called for you to come back.

Cups suddenly started shaking in the room, only the Archon and Dualist taking note. It also didn’t help that the entire building was surrounded by water, though luckily you were able to mostly focus your attention on the small bits of water in the room. Neither Wriothesley or Neuvillette stopped to look at you as you raised your little paws to your head, the shouting mixed with your focus bringing on a headache.

Finally, it came to a close when Wriothesley shouted at the top of his lungs; teacups shattered and liquid swirled around the room, tea and water and otherwise swimming around the room like a raging typhoon, slamming into walls and knocking over objects. Finally the Duke and Sovereign stopped looking just as shocked as the Duelist and Archon. You pressed your paws forward, all the liquid slamming onto the arguing duo, pushing them into wall on opposite sides of the room.

Neuvillette looked remorseful while Wriothesley was shocked, eyes as wide as possible and jaw slacked. After a moment of silence you dropped your paws, allowing the two to fall to the floor drenched and standing in puddles.

“Holy… Holy Shit. They are the…” Wriothesley looked towards Neuvillette who nodded. Wriothesley fell to his knees, hands gripping at his hair and tears filling his eyes.

“All my life… was a lie?” You rushed to his side before he could spiral, rapidly chittering and crying, wishing you could speak so you could comfort him. In fear of another argument you began to cry. You sniffled and placed paws on his arm, practically begging him not to fall down that dark hole of spiraling thoughts.

Suddenly, you felt a hand on your head. Fingers gently carded through your fur, and you looked up, meeting Wriothesley’s eyes. They were still teary, filled with grief and sorrow, but there was something behind it, something bright.

“Mm… don’t cry little guy. I didn’t mean to uh… scare you?” His smile was shaky at best. You whined and climbed into his lap, paws pressed to his cheeks and small kitten-licks to the tears he evidently didn’t know about, rubbing away any others you couldn’t get. His eyes widened, quickly trying to rub away any stray tears he caught.

The others watched the scene, not daring to speak. Eventually Wriothesley picked you up to stare at you. All his life had been spent worshiping one person, they fell from the sky one day, and he figured that’d be it. He got live in the generation that saw the return of their blessed Creator. Never to have them look him in the eye or anything.

But here you were. An otter. And you had already done so much more for him than the Creator had in such a short amount of time.

It would take a while, he figured, till his mind really did say that you were, in fact, the real and true Creator, till his mind could finally let go of the notion that he’d never get to see them because here you were, in his arms, caring for him.

“… Y’know… you’re a pretty cute little otter.” Everyone’s eyes snapped over to him when he spoke, more tears falling from his eyes. You squirmed around, desperately trying to get close enough to wipe them but were caught off-guard when instead Wriothesley wiped tears out of your eyes.

You cried, squirming in his arms to wrap your own around his neck. Everyone was silent as this happened, watching as his arms gently curled around you, slowly breaking down.

Neuvillette turned away, ashamed that he had lost his cool, and watched as Furina got up from the couch and walked over to you and Wriothesley. She couched down and sat beside you both, laying a head on Wriothesley’s shoulder.

You chirped quietly into the mana chest, letting him silently sob into you.

Only the sound of moving water disrupted the calm.

૮꒰づ˶• ༝ •˶꒱づ ˚ʚ ꒰⁐⁐⁐⁐୨🍯🧁🥥୧⁐⁐⁐⁐꒱ ɞ˚

That meeting was weeks ago, and now your little group was coming up with a plan to bring this news to light before all the other nations.

It had been well established to them that creatures of Teyvat, from small bugs to the largest beast, would all listen to you under any and all circumstances.

Like now.

While they all spoke under the moonlight inside Wriothesley’s office - one of the most secretive places in all of Fontaine - you swam just outside the walls in a raft of otters, all in all just having a fun time until the inevitable.

The rebellion.

Naturally everyone in the room was pissed, especially since it had been years at this point that that false ‘Creator’ had sat on a throne that was rightfully yours. They could see the effect your presence had on Fontiane.

The sun shone brighter, the water seemed clearer, less Meka broke down, flower bloomed easier, crime even dropped. It was great.

Everyone and everything seemed and felt happier.

Much happier than with that fucking liar.

A map of the large, floating Sanctuary and Shrine that was supposed to house the Creator was laid out across a table, specific entry point circled in red.

“Next week marks the beginning of the *Creator’s Walk. Defenses will grow as this week passes but the first day of the walk, there will be no Acolytes.” Neuvillette broke the silence by pointing towards the circles on the map.

“But they’ll still be in the perimeter. I should know, I was apart of the last Creator’s Walk.” Chlorinde spoke up, adjusting her hat. “I can’t think of any entrance we may have left ungraded, even if from a distance.”

They were silent as they thought. The Creator’s walk was a Month Long holiday where the Creator would walk nation to nation - by themselves - in order to hand out blessings, push back monsters for a following month of no attacks and to retrace their original path between Nations, a show that they were all still connected.

The quiet was broken by the sounds of you chittering, the door opening and revealing you wrapped in a Melusine themed towel, Sigewinne trailing right behind you.

“Thank you Sigewinne for returning them to us, now if you would mind-“ Neuvillette started but was interrupted by the Melusine, “You’re talking about the plan right?” Everyone stared at her while you took it upon yourself to climb into Furina’s lap.

“How did-“ “Uh, duh. I’ve known all along? I would’ve figured you’d have guessed that by now, especially with all the other Melusine and Meka treating them so great? Come on Monsieur Neuvillette, you’re smarter than that!” The sentence was ended with a giggle as she skipped over to the still shocked older man.

Neuvillette shook himself from the sudden stupor, sighing and nodded, before his eyes lit up.

“That’s right. We have all the Meka of Fontaine on our side. They’d do anything for ma moitié. How in Archons name did we forget we have an entire army on our side?” Everyone stared at Neuvillette sheepishly, shrugs and mutters filling the room. Neuvillette sighs and hangs his head, but quickly rebounds.

“Well in that case, most Nations haven’t fought our Meka-“ “But they have fought Ruin Guards.” Chlorinde spoke again. Neuvillette bit his cheek, she had a point. While Meka were different, it wouldn’t take to much the Acolytes to find weaknesses due to said Ruin Guards.

Silence again.

“The Local Legends and beasts alike could be of use. I mean, I doubt anyone’s fought giant crabs before.” Furina mentioned, though most of her attention was on you, drying you off and petting you.

“That is true, Lady Furina.” Wriothesley agreed. Eyes drew back to the map, taking in every spot on the thing.

“There!” Sigewinne was the one to point to a point on the map, near the back to the left of the large estate.

“What’s the spot?” She asked, Wriothesley took one look and responded.

“That’s a window to their wine cellar. Pretty unused but still guarded, why?” Sigewinne looked up with a grin.

“Because it’s closest to a body of water.” Chlorinde looked closely at the spot, and her eyes widened a bit.

“She has a point, and on top of that, while it is still guarded it’s much more lax, especially considering it’s not to far from where the ‘Creator’ will be leaving but far enough where anyone would doubt an entry. On the other hand, it could only appear that way.”

“That’s where Meka and monsters could come in.” Wriothesley started. “When we’re protecting the place we more expect other people than monsters considering they’re all scared of the place.”

The plan started to come together, more pieces being added and who should go first and so on and so forth. Furina was too busy playing with you to really care, but looked up with a confused expression.

“When are we going to tell the others? Vision users, I mean. And… how?” Everyone looked towards her.

“…Fuck.” And a new can of worms now needed to be opened.

໒꒰ྀི˶˙Ⱉ˙˶꒱ྀིა Author’s note : IM SO FUCKING SORRY I CANT DO IT!! I swear I will be keeping this idea in mind tho because I now have a plan to map out all of the creator stories I swear it I’m just tired omg I’m sorry but I hope this suffices for now-

… This is so disappointing I’m sorry-

[haechani4ever]

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: break up ✧

╰┈➤why would you two break up

. . ⇢ ˗ˏˋpairing ot7 x gn!reader

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋgenre angst

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋwarnings mentions of cheating

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋnote im sorry i know its kinda sad but im feeling very angst these days. also i had so much fun writing this and i hope u like it :)

✦➼mark lee ┈ he didn't have time for you

✦- sadly we all know how busy mark always is. likewise, he tried to give you some of his time, but it wasnt enough. sometimes days went by without them seeing each other and when they did see each other it was for 10 minutes. the good morning and good night messages didnt really make up for anything nor did the other text messages with small updates. probably you were the one who broke up with mark. he's too kind and sweet to do it. he also didnt really realize what he was doing and thats why you broke up.

it was a weekday when you approached him to talk to him. they were both in the kitchen of their house. they had just finished dinner when you told him. mark was shocked when you told him. he knew you were right but he really thought it was something that would happen and they could live with it. he told you that he understood but he was really very broken.

✦➼huang renjun ┈ fell out of love

✦- renjun is someone so sweet and loving but also someone who can lose interest quickly sometimes. i mean once you see something you dont like there is no turning back. you have to have a very strong relationship for it not to happen. but if it happens, i feel for you. it will start with things like stopping being attentive to you and almost completely avoiding physical contact between the two of you.

he told you out of nowhere really. you thought your twos relationship was in a good place, and suddenly he tells you that he doesnt love you anymore. probably it was that way because it was the only way he found to tell you. those words destroyed you completely and when you asked for explanations he didnt know how to give them because he really didnt know what had happened either.

✦➼lee jeno ┈ you no longer understood each other

✦- from one day to the next the relationship stopped working. you didnt understand him anymore, Jeno. It seemed like he no longer trusted you and was hiding things from you. the talks at the end of the day ended quickly and he no longer spoke to you much directly. you thought it was because they couldnt understand each other anymore so the trust between you felt absent.

a few months ago this was a problem in your relationship, suddenly talking to each other was not comforting nor did you listen to each other. every talk led to an argument. he was the one who brought it up to you. the relationship was no longer working, he loved you, you loved him, but they no longer understood each other. the spark that connected them had gone out

✦➼lee donghyuck ┈ cheating

✦- i dont know why but sometimes Hyuck gives me those cheater vibes. it must be because i read a lot of things with a plot about that, but thats not the point. despite being a very intelligent person, haechan can sometimes be somewhat impulsive. he was easily carried away by a provocation or he was simply drunk, we dont know really, but he did it. he swear it was a one-time mistake but it happened again, two more times. but since the third is the charm you caught him in the act.

you couldnt believe it when you saw it, the person you had fallen in love with being disloyal to you. he came out behind you quickly and started apologizing. but it was too late, the mistake had already been made. you told him you didnt want to hear his apology and you left. He tried to contact you in the following weeks but you blocked him everywhere. eventually he gave up looking for you.

✦➼na jaemin ┈ different visions of the relationship

✦- you had been with jaemin for a while when one day you sat down to talk as usual and this topic came up. they realized that they both wanted different things in life and that they didnt know where they were taking the relationship. you were willing to continue the relationship, settle down and maybe start a family one day with him. but jaemin still wanted to continue experiencing life and didnt see their relationship as something serious enough to settle down.

with this information the relationship was no longer the same. there was no point in really continuing with this if one of us thought that way. so one day, you faced him. you asked him if it was really true that he saw the relationship you two had that way and when he said yes, you blurted it out. it hurt him, but he understood and thought it was the best for the two of you.

✦➼zhong chenole ┈ big figth

✦- chenle is someone with strong ideas and sticks to them a lot, so arguments were not something unusual in their relationship. it was always little things like who had to wash the dishes and stuff like that. sometimes things escalated to another level but never like that time.

the argument had started over something that was certainly stupid given the strength with which they ended up arguing. everything got out of control when you reproached him for something. from there, they began to tell each other every bad thing they saw in each other. the argument ended when one of you shouted, "well, if we're so bad for each other we should break up." and that's how it ended, you didnt see him again after that for a long time.

✦➼park jisung ┈ a misunderstanding

✦- jisung thought you cheated on him. he misinterpreted a message that was on your cell phone. at first he denied it (not only because it wasnt true) but because he didnt believe it was true, especially coming from you. but after that he started noticing things that were always there but he had never noticed them. things that had nothing wrong and were purely innocent on your part, but he didnt see them that way.

one day when he got home he told you something that had made him a little jealous, and although he tried to stay calm he ended up exploding and letting it all out. you tried to explain it to him but he got carried away by his ego and didn't let you do it. also relevant is the fact that you had burst into tears because of what he thought of you. in the end you wiped your tears and told him that the relationship was ending.

[tyunzonlystar]

Bike ride (10:06pm)

Warnings! Sub!beomgyu, virgin!beomgyu, big dick!beomgyu, dom!reader, nipple play (gyu rec), strangers to ???, mentions of abusive parents, cuts nd bruises (injuries not sh), making out, pet names (pretty boy, mommy, baby, good boy, beomie, gyu) mommy kink, dick sucking? And unprotected sex (please use protection!)

word count: 1391

summary: Beomgyu snuck out his house to go on a bike ride and ends up falling off! :( but luckily you helped him..

smut under the cut!! MDNI‼️

You left your house about 20 minutes ago and decide to walk to the beachside a few minutes away from your apartment. As you were walking this boy kept riding past you until he fell off! You quickly run over to him and crouch next to him.

“Oh my god are you okay?” You asked him even though he now had cuts and bruises on his body

“Yeah im fine” he tried to move his bike off him “could you please help?” 

You nod your head and move his bike off him and help him up 

“Hey im y/n i live a few blocks from here so i can help clean you up if obviously you wanted?” 

He looked at you and smiled “really?”

“Yes”

“Your not gonna hurt me for like annoying your walk that was meant to be peaceful?”

“What? Of course not! I just wanna help you and then you can go home” you explained to him now having a bit of suspension on why he thought you were gonna hurt him so you decide to ask him as you two start walking back to your apartment.

“Hey i was wondering why you thought i was gonna hurt you? If anything is going on at home with whoever you live with you can talk to me or anything.. but you dont have to if you dont want to” 

The boy looked at you and nods his head to say he listened and appreciated your words

“Uhm i come out on my bike quite often at night when my family is asleep and i sneak out and come here often..” 

“Ohh so like its an escape for you then?”

“Yeah i uh guess?”

Soon enough you get to your apartment complex and you open the door and let him in first and then you walk towards the elevator and press floor 8. 

“Sorry you couldnt bring your bike in here.. but don’t worry the receptionist will keep it safe!”

The boy laughs a little as the elevator dings signalling your at floor 8. You walk out the elevator and the boy follows behind you as you walk to your apartment

“My apartment is kinda big and theres a spare bedroom incase you cant get home..”

“Thank you y/n you dont know how much this means to me..” He says just above a whisper. You make you way to your bedroom and grab your first aid kit

“Hey i never got your name..?”

“Beomgyu”

“Thats a pretty name for a pretty boy. Anyway sit down here” You pat a chair next to you and Beomgyu sits down with light blush covering his face from your complement. You open the kit and take out a antibiotic wipe and gently clean his cuts while he hisses in pain.

“Shit.. ouch” He mumbles

“Sorry..”

You finish cleaning his cuts and bruises and bandage them up

“Its 11pm and i dont want you riding home alone and my car is broke.. would your family mind if you slept here just for tonight?” You asked him

“Mm no they wouldnt mind..”

You nod your head 

“You can sleep in the spare bedroom but if you need me or anything you can come in my room”

Beomgyu smiles down at you on your knees and thanks you before asking another question…

“Could i sit on your bed uhm with you and we can just talk?”

“Yeah if you wanted i dont mind!”

“Really?” He asked surprised you didnt shout at him for wanting to be in your bed. You get off your knees and put the bloody tissues in the bin and put away the first aid kit and get on your bed and pt the space next to you. Beomgyu stands up and sits on your bed

“Y/n?”

“Yesss?”

“Can i tell you something?”

“Yes”

“I was on my bike earlier cuz i wanted to escape from my family.. i can’t remember if i told you.. but i wanted to escape from them because they uh abuse me.. so some of the bruises you saw were from my  dad as he doesn’t support what i do..”

“Oh well what do you do?”

“I play the guitar and livestream it and he doesn’t support me playing music.. it’s because he doesnt want me to make more money than him since he gets really bad pay days like he doesnt get alot of money and my mom she pays for the bills and my dad uses her but my mom also abuses me but she does it mentally.. and earlier today my dad smashed my guitar while i was livestreaming…”

You nod your head and listen to him carefully.. 

“Im so sorry thats happened to you Beomgyu and im thankful you trust me to tell me considering we met a few hours ago..”

He smiles and nods his head.

A few hours go by and you dont know how you got onto the topics of your sex like but you did and beomgyu kept a pillow on his lap.. you  knew why but didnt say anything until the question came around..

“Are you a virgin?” You asked him and he shuffled slightly as he face went a crimson red as he slowly nodded and soon enough you found yourself on his lap heavily making out with him as you slowly grinded down on his lap.. He whimpered. 

“Holy shit..” you thought growing wetter at his moans and noises.

You run your fingers through his long oreo hair and pull away from the kiss

“Are you sure you want this? I mean your a virgin and we dont know eachother super well..”

He eagerly nodded his head

“Okay Gyu if its what you want” you shrug as you sit between his legs and pull his jeans and boxers down to his knees and his thick long veiny cock hit his stomach.

“Jeez baby your huge” you say as you watch the pre-cum drip down his shaft. 

“Ready pretty boy?”

“P-please!”

You took that as a yes and kitten licked his tip before taking little by little in your mouth slowly bobbing your head up and down while jerking the rest you couldnt fit in your mouth

“Y-y/n! Fuck fuck fuck!” He whined loudly as he gripped onto your hair

“‘m gonna c-cum.. please let me mommy” his whimpers bounced off the walls of your bedroom as your hands reach up and rub his nipples as he chanted your name like it was a ritual as he came in your mouth and of course! You swallowed.. you dont want his cum going to waste did you?

“M-mommy want your p-pussy..” 

“What do we say when we want something baby?”

“P-please”

“Good boy”

You get of the bed and shimmy your pj pants off and let Beomgyu tale your panties off

“Go on take them off for mommy”

His hands slowly took your panties off and he threw them on the floor as you hovered above his cock

“Ready?”

He nodded once again as you slowly sank down on him. You stopped halfway to try get used to him stretching you out and a few seconds later you took him all in your gummy walls.

“Hnng.. f-feels so good..” He moans as you start bouncing on his thick girthy cock 

“Doing so well for me Beomie.. so pretty.. fuckkk!” You praised as he hit your sweet spot 

At this point the only noises were skin slapping and both of your moans and whimpers

“G-gonna cum” Beomgyu whimpers as he bucks his hips to meet yours

“Cum for me baby” you whisper in his eat as you kiss his neck and leave nasty dark purple splotches on his neck and collarbones. He bucks his hips up to meet yours one last time before he releases his hot load into you and soon after you cream on him and collapse on top of him

“Did so well for me.. im surprised your a virgin with that cock” i laugh and he laughs back 

“Ill get towels then you can shower and we can go bed” you say as you get off his cream covered dick and go get warm towels to clean the both of you up..

After your both are cleaned up and in comfy clothes you two fall asleep cuddling….

do not steal, copy, translate!

feel free to reblog my lovelies!

[bridgyrose]

Nuts and Dolts Week: Day 7

Ruby clutched the piece of Floating Array she had kept from the fall of Beacon, the sword still felt foreign in her hands. She had spent weeks practicing with it as another option for close combat since she still wasnt all that great unarmed. But at least using the sword was going to be another option. 

“Are you ready?” Jaune asked as he held his sword and shield up. “You know I’m not going to go easy on you.” 

“I am,” Ruby said as her fingers trembled. “I have to be.” 

“Then your training starts now!” 

Ruby stepped back as she blocked Jaune’s strike, not expecting the power that came from it. Her arms trembled as she made her own strike against him, hitting his shield as he blocked. The sword vibrated in her grip as she took a few more steps back. It was still different from fighting with her scythe, Floating Array vibrated differently, built to be used remotely and not by hand. Still, she looked over Jaune and rushed behind him with her semblance to strike his back. 

Her blade was once again met with Jaune’s shield, and then a strike from his blade against her. She struck back over and over only to feel Jaune’s shield against her blade and then a strike of his own hitting her over and over again until her aura broke. Her legs finally gave out as she dropped to the ground panting. She looked up at him as he held a hand out to her. 

“Are you sure you’re still okay?” Jaune asked. “You still seemed distracted.” 

“I’m fine,” Ruby said as she took his hand. “I just need to practice.” 

Jaune shook his head. “I’ve seen when you’re fine. This… this isnt fine.” 

Ruby sighed and looked at the blade of Floating Array, swearing she saw Penny’s face in her reflection. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gripped the hilt again, voice cracking as she spoke. “I… I have… I have to be ready to get my answers. I need to know why our friends had to die, why Penny had to be killed like that.” 

“And you’ll get those answers when we head off. You’re still recovering, Yang still needs you-” 

“What about what I need?” Ruby half yelled at him. She took a breath and wiped away her tears as she held Floating Array up. “I’m ready again.” 

“Your aura-” 

“I’ll be fine. Please, I need to be ready. This is all I have left of Penny and I need to make sure I can use it when I can’t use my scythe.” 

Jaune sighed and raised his own sword and shield. “Alright, but if I draw blood, we’re done.” 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruby stared at the melted blade in her hands, her breathing starting to feel panicked. Everything on the bridge had gone wrong, Cinder had melted the only piece of Floating Array she had been allowed to keep as a wish from Penny, as an offering of her love. And now, it was damaged beyond repair and she still wasnt sure if Penny had survived.

“Ruby!” Weiss called out. “There you are!” 

Ruby quickly sheathed her melted blade and looked over at Weiss, surprised to see her. “Weiss. What are you doing here?” 

“I fell too. Just like you did.” 

“And… and Penny?” 

Weiss looked away. “Let's find Yang and Blake first.” 

Ruby felt her heart stop when she saw the look Weiss tried to hide, the sorrow in her eyes and the crack in her voice as she spoke. It was the silent answer that gave her enough of an answer about Penny’s fate, once again losing the woman she tried to save, the woman that she vowed to keep alive no matter what. Her fingers trembled as she reached for the last reminder she had, wrapping them around the hilt. “She… she died, didnt she?” 

Weiss stopped in her tracks, pausing before she spoke. “I-I’m sorry Ruby. Jaune tried to save her, but Cinder… we really should find Yang and Blake first. I dont want to explain this more than once.” 

“We did everything right,” Ruby said through a few tears. “We used the scepter to save her, gave her soul a new body, made sure she would live… and I still couldnt save her!” 

“And it wasnt enough this time-” 

“She has to be alive! She has to be here!” 

“Wait Ruby-” Ruby rushed off deeper into the forest of the Ever After, her semblance carrying her as far as she could go. The scars on her arms burned as she pushed herself to use every last drop of aura she had, finally dropping out of her semblance and crashing on the ground. Her eyes widened as she watched what remained of Floating Array drop into the water in front of her, sinking until it was out of sight. Her body went limp as she lost the strength to keep going. Beyond her memory, Penny was gone. Forever. 

[emoreooo]

doomed valentines 🥀

aka what if kel and aubrey took over sweetheart’s castle ?

this is an au where if you interact with the keeper of sweethearts castle as anyone but omori, it unlocks a whole new optional level. you wake up in the picnic area with hero but no kel or aubrey. sweethearts castle is different and basil joins you for this level

the castle's main towers seem to have split into two, but the main building remains one, and smaller from the outside. but it turns out to be unnaturally spacious at times, as if the building was a psychological maze trying to separate... certain people apart

you find aubrey. she looks different, but happier. “it's like a princess' dream come true. it’s everything i could ever want and more.” she says, smiling at you. “now... all i need left is my lovely prince charming—”

“hey, guys !!”

enter kel.

“ugh.”

kel also looks different, if not for the fact hes wearing an obnoxious shade of pink, head to toe. he is happy to see you all. “everyone here LOVES me ! they respect me and trust me and all that kinda stuff. man, i feel so powerful ! im never leaving this place !”

that didnt seem to sit right, so hero intervened. “but.. if you stayed here, wouldn’t you miss everyone else ? omori, basil, me... mari ?”

“well, duh ! that’s why you guys will be staying with me too !”

that broke a new fight between kel and aubrey, but for the wrong reasons

it ends with aubrey dragging basil along with her, hero with kel, and you alone on the bridge connecting the two towers. you have a choice to follow one of them first. lets say, kel.

you head for kels tower and find hero talking with kel, trying to convince his brother.

“didja know ?? the sprout moles here love me so much they made me offerings, like, im a god or something ! pretty cool huh ?”

“..offerings ?”

“yeah ! oh man.. hero, youre not jealous, right ?”

“wh— no. its just.. a bit ridiculous.”

“...ridiculous ?” kels confused expression contorts into a smile, that of understanding. “i see whats going on. its okay, hero, i know its gotta be tough to be put to the side. and overlooked. bet its weird not being in the spotlight for once.”

you caught a quick flash of horror written on heros face. “kel.. are you saying this because—”

“but its ok ! as long as were here, neither of us will ever have to feel that way !”

remaining determined, hero put his foot down. “thats enough, kel. you cant stay here.”

“yea, thats a good one, bro.”

“im... serious. were leaving, kel.”

the younger boy stops laughing. ”...oh. youre— why ?”

“i dont think this place is anything like it seems. i think its a sham.”

kel barks with laughter.

“oh so when it benefits ME is it a sham. man, how selfish can you be ?”

“...what ?”

“you really cant stand it when its not all about you, huh ? but what about me ? what about kel ?”

“i-i think this place is affecting you. please, kel, listen to me.”

“no. if you wanna leave so bad, fine ! the sprout moles can send you out. but im not leaving. im happy here anyway, and you wont get it.”

with that, kel leaves you two in his tower. hero seems distracted, before suggesting you both go find basil

you head for aubreys tower, only to find a scared basil locked in a cell. upon freeing him, he stares over your shoulder.

“o-omori.” he whispers. “...behind you.”

“well, well.. well !”

enter aubrey.

“aubrey! why was basil locked in?” hero asks, perplexed.

“hm? well, he kept trying to leave! i couldnt let that happen, not when i was sharing my happiness with him.” aubrey frowns. “i thought he was my friend.”

basil looks terrified. “aubrey.. i am your friend.”

“hmhm, of course you are. friends dont leave each other behind, right omori?”

hero once again steps in. “aubrey, i think youre taking this too far. of course we want you to be happy, but kidnapping your friends isnt the way. this place is messing with your heads, so we should leave before it gets worse.”

but your path is blocked by kel in the doorway.

“that wont do.” aubrey hums behind you, brandishing her shiny pink bat. “no.. not at all. what do you think, kel ?”

“i think its rude to leave in the middle of a party. right, hero? you taught me that one!”

“kel..”

he then takes a bow as aubrey joins him. “so, friends, may we have this dance?”

“let us sweep the floor !”

boss battle mechanics !

you can not change aubrey or kels emotions even at the start of the battle. the only ones who can change their emotions are each other, so the best strategy is to adapt with your own party’s emotion play

there are 4 phases to this battle. a neutral state, tier one emotion, tier two, and lastly tier three, much like most emotion based bosses. between each phases, aubrey will make kel happier, while kel makes aubrey angrier. they are not made to have the sad emotion, however,

if you end third phase with an attack from hero, kel will start fourth phase with a depressed emotion instead of manic, giving your team good advantage on winning since he relies on speed. aubrey will still be furious, but its still one enemy disadvantaged

once you defeat them they will go snork mimi in your arms and you must carry them out of the castle and back to mari.

“aww, i guess its past their royal nap time !”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to get back with an ex?

So i (21m) was in a poly relationship with S (21x) and J (24m) for about a year (so that would be when i was 20, S was 19 and J was 22)

Midway through the relationship i was going through some mental health shit so i kind of subconsciously distanced myself (my bad, i definitely shouldve been upfront about what was happening but i have vulnerability issues)

Dont get me wrong, i wasnt straight up neglectful or anything (to my knowledge?), but i really didnt go out with them as much as i used to (if one of us couldnt attend, the other two would go as a couple. It was more efficient like) and didn't really feel as much "honeymoon" intensity if that makes sense

I think its also important to note that once i was semi-able to pull myself out of my rut i decided to start these big art projects to show my appreciation for them and also kind of make up for my distance, like that shit took up my time and sleep and effort. i felt like i wanted to take the next step from casual dating to something actually serious with a future and everything because getting out of my spiral made me remember how much i loved them

So i called them up and found out that they kind of... kicked me off the polycule?? It was this weird situation where they thought I was leaving them behind so they also fully moved in together and started acting like a regular couple without me. obviously i was pissed, and S apologized and tried to communicate which i really appreciate, but J was just doubling down blaming me. At the time i was so angry i turned it into a full out yelling match

I realized it wasnt healthy nor working out and broke it off fully, telling S we could still be friends but cutting J off entirely. I gave all J's shit that was still at my place back to S, blocked J's number and scrapped my project altogether

Fast forward to present day, and im in a completely unrelated relationship with two people i love with all my heart, and by this time ive healed and mended my relationship with S enough that i thought we could start over and add them to the polycule (to be clear my current partners like them too and are on board). We did do that, it's going great and i'm remembering why i loved S so much in the first place

The issue is that S is still with J, and while J doesn't have any issues with both of us separately dating S, S wants all of us to reunite again for old times sake and its very obvious that theyre still holding onto the old versions of us and what we used to be. I say no, i dont even like J anymore and havent spoken to him in forever so why the hell would i care?? Ive grown and changed so much in the time after our relationship that i wouldnt even fit into the nostalgic mold that you want me to be a part of and i dont think J would either

The thing is J does also seem like hes interested in starting over. S said he's grown a lot since, but i think our personalities just dont mesh and ive also just fallen fully out of love with him. It seems to break S's heart, but they get it and don't bother me about it anymore. On the other hand J respects my decision but is still like passive aggressively annoyed about how seriously i took it, saying it was mostly my fault and i took drastic measures for nothing.

Aita?

What are these acronyms?

[markets]

For some reason this song will always remind me of the girl who will never realize what she did to me. i was always good friends with her ex boyfriend and she was always good friends with mine, and the way she acted around him sometimes bothered me once we broke up but i never said anything about it. one day she decided i was too close to hers and accused him of a bunch of stuff (none of which was true) while also saying god knows what to my ex about the whole thing even though he and i were still friends and im pretty sure a big reason why her ex would go to me for advice about their situation was because i was the only one of his friends who didnt tell him to just block her. i remember telling him that if he wanted to stop talking to me for the foreseeable future i genuinely wouldnt mind, because i didnt think it was worth all the trouble it was causing him. but he kept being my friend and ill always appreciate him for that

i would also constantly tell him to tell her to talk things out with me because i still considered her a close friend despite all the vile stuff she was doing to her ex months after they broke up, and she eventually did but i know she was just scratching the surface of what was really bothering her because her ex told me that before she even talked to me she'd already decided to just distance herself. sometimes he'd point out the hypocrisy in her getting mad at us being friends while she was close to my ex and i always told him to be careful, since i knew that she could easily twist that around to make me look jealous of their friendship even though, at this point in time, i wasnt anymore.

I now know that that's exactly what she did, since when my ex told me he couldnt be friends with me anymore he cited her as one of the main reasons. We used to be so close and then she got slightly mad at me and immediately went for two of my most important friendships, the worst part is i dont even think she realized she was doing it. i knwo i ruined my own life these past few months but if i were to blame anyone else, it would be her. She honestly scares me and i really dont ever want to talk to her again. And yet the other night i saw her crying on some stairs and ran to her. my ex boyfriend, who im not speaking to, came in from the opposite direction and asked me what i was doing, i said i was there to talk to her and he said ok you can talk to her then and i said no you can and he said no you can and walked away, i said "we both can" but he didnt hear me. I sat down next to her, gave her a hug, and asked what was wrong, she started talking about how her ex didnt care about her. when i assured her that he did, because he had no reason to talk to her if he didnt, she just shook her head. she kept talking and she was saying everything i was thinking about my own situation, and it almost made me cry until i remembered that she had everything i didnt, in every sense of the phrase. she had someone who cared about her, who wouldve been willing to stay with her if she hadnt done everything she did, who still loved her. I knew id fucked up but id tried so hard in ways she never had and yet i didnt have anything, not even my best friend. who she also had. I hated her so much in that moment but i just hugged her harder.

if she ever asks me about the whole thing ill tell her all this, and i know she'll pick out one small thing from it and use it to tell everyone im a horrible person, but i dont care anymore. Yesterday the planes over me were flying lower than ever and all i could think about was if any of them were going home

[bearbonespdf]

so i have this, ig now ex, friend who is also my ex boyfriend. right now im kinda coming to terms with the fact that he was? is? abusive. we've known each other for about 4 years now, dated for 2 of those, and broke up about 9 months ago. we've gone through a lot together, including a major traumatic event that involved him being called an abusive boyfriend. this has added to my... hesitance to call him an abuser.

he has hit me a couple times, which we talked through and he didnt do again. however he would bite me pretty often and pretty hard, and wouldnt let go when i asked him too. i used to beg him to stop but he'd (paraphrased) call me dramatic and to get over it. he'd also insult my appearance, personality, and intelligence pretty often. he would yell at me for things i couldnt change (ex: forgetfulness from adhd) and when i tried to explain that he'd tell me i was just making excuses. he would also compare me to our shitty ex friends whenever i did or said smth he didnt like. i had to change the way i spelled the word "ok" (i used to spell it "okay") because he would get mad at me for not being considerate of how he thought "okay" was disingenuous.

but despite all of that, he wasn't horrible to me all the time. we were best friends for a long time. i also contributed to our arguments, and he's said that i traumatized him too. i have friends who tell me that he's definitely abusive and that none if its my fault. i want to believe them but it just kinda feels like wishful thinking? he always told me that i have a tendency to avoid responsibility for my actions, and idk if thats what im doing? i have some other friends who are still cool with him despite knowing all of what i detailed above (and some more lol) and say that they understand why he's upset and why he did what he did. i think the friends who are on his side (which i hate saying, i dont really think its a "sides" situation?) are trying to explain his side of the story and feelings in the matter to the people on my "side".

anyways, this whole post is sparked by the fact that i just found out he blocked me. idk for how long, but i blocked him back. im scared, im stressed, i feel guilty but also kinda glad? i was planning out how to break off our friendship already, but i wanted to end it more amicably. i didnt want to block eachother, i was hoping to stay acquainted at best and maybe leave room for friendship again further down the line. when we both were changed and healed. im writing all this down to avoid a panic attack, but id also appreciate any thoughts and/or opinions anyone has on the matter?

[bakestpotato]

You know? I know it's all on me.

I broke my own heart loving you.

I've loved you for 12 years. Never have I stopped. You are The only person I've ever fallen in love with.

I was unable to fall in love with anyone else.

It may have seemed like I didn't choose you back then. I was protecting my relationship at the time. I was protecting myself. I was so damn scared to get hurt again by you. I was terrified of you changing your mind about me and getting up and leaving. So I guess I decided to get up and leave myself.

I should have taken a leap of faith and chose you back then. I'm sorry that I didn't. My words don't mean much when I say I'm so sorry and wish I can go back and change my decision.

I've tried to forget about you. I really did. It was so hard. But I never forgotten. There was always little things here and there that reminds me of you. Places that we been to together. Stuff that I watched that you recommended to me back then. Little phrases you used to say that became part of my current vocabulary.

So I never forgotten about you. I just tried to move on.

I thought I moved on. You saw that I got married. I was happy, you know? Happy with my little lie. Thinking everything was fine and peachy when it actually wasn't. I was oblivious to all the red flags. Or maybe I chose to ignore them. I wanted to make it work. I wanted it to work at the time.

But I'm over trying to defend him and trying to protect his feelings. When I feel so damn insignificant, when I feel like I'm never good enough.

All this did drive me to get curious about you. I've tried multiple times to seek you out. I really did. Even before I got married. I couldn't find you. I remember parts of your phone number but never figured it out. For the life of me I did not remember blocking you on snapchat, when I read your fb messages and saw your snapchat name I've tried looking you up to try and find you, little did I know that the reason why I couldnt find you was because I had you blocked. I didn't remember your tumblr until I found something on my phone that showed your page name. I found it and stared at your page. For a long time, I would just go back to your page, but I never had any courage to follow you. Cause I didn't want you to get a notification. Up until I said fuck it and followed you anyway.

Opening that door though. If I had known it would end like this. I would have preferred it to keep it closed.

But the realization of me being so damn in love with you has got me in a spiral.

I want it to be you. I want you to give us a chance.

I want to know though, is it over between us? For good? If that's what you want. You have to tell me.

Otherwise. I think I will forever wait for you.

@celestial-minded.

[girlschasinggirls]

I need some advice. I recently was broken up with and I'm reeling from it. We met when i was 19 and he was 32 and we ended up hooking up 6 years ago. He didn't tell me until after we hooked up that he had a wife which started a crazy feud, but he eventually divorced his wife and convinced me to be in a relationship with him. The relationship was pretty rocky at first because he was very emotionally abusive. Like he would constantly reprimand me for doing the wrong thing and saying the wrong thing and would lecture me for hours and not let me sleep until I agreed with him. I used to live with him sometimes because my mom got evicted and i couldn't hold down a stable job because I had an untreated learning disability and he would pick fights with me every day when I would say/ do the wrong thing and sometimes he would even kick me out.

While he did all this its v confusing bc he was also very good to me at the same time?? He helped me out when I was evicted and let me live rent free with him. He helped me get my diagnosis and helped me look for a job. He helped me get over some of my insecurities and would urge me to go to therapy and helped me get my driver's license. The last 2 years he started becoming more spiritual and became a lot nicer to me (He would still reprimand me but not as often) and urged me to do yoga and meditation. He started getting serious and during that time he was throwing ideas around of leaving everything behind and going to a yoga center etc. I was so drained atp from the constant mistreatment and feeling like I wasn't a priority so I went outside the relationship to explore my options. i met a guy that I was going to meet for dinner and just talk to, but I was drugged and assaulted. I felt so guilty that I told my boyfriend and he broke up with me. This was a year ago. Since then, we've been on and off because he would come back but couldn't commit because he couldnt trust me. Early this year he moved to a different state and he reached out to me to ask if I wanted to visit him out there in the summer. I was cautious but I agreed because I missed him. We started calling and texting every day and he started hinting that he wanted a relationship with me again. I started catching feelings again and was grateful for the opportunity to make things right because I fucked up. I bought the plane tickets and two days after I bought them he told me that he was getting women flirting with him out there and that he wanted to explore his options. I was so upset and I asked him why we couldnt work things out, he told me he still couldnt trust me after what happened. He told me it's best if I get a refund on the tix and just stay home. I felt so crushed, I felt like I was lead on and I feel so ashamed and guilty over what I did. The worst part is I felt like I ruined everything and it's my fault that the relationship ended the way it did. What do I do???? I have no friends and no one to talk to.

sorry for short and perhaps underwhelming answer but the best option for you is to break up immediately and begin to heal and move on with your life. ghost him cold turkey. block him on absolutely everything and do not respond to any attempts he makes to reconnect if he ever finds a way. your relationship with him in the past has been full of pain and uncertainty and that’s exactly what your future also holds. im so sorry that happened to you on your date and the fact he is focused on himself being hurt by you going on a date and continuing to fuck you around instead of supporting you through that traumatic event even though you were assaulted tells to his character especially considering he literally cheated on his wife and lied to both of you about it. please message me on or off anon if you need to talk about anything at all. best of luck xx

[mu-pt1]

in sync

its been a long while. ive been thinking about you every day but I just didnt know what to say. to start off, me and jj broke up in march. he moved away and before he moved, he was acting weird. I couldnt take one more day of holding back tears on the bus so I blocked him. it was a hard decision. I almost unblocked him multiple times but I had to push through and continue on. secondly, his friend confessed his feelings for me a few days ago. I didnt know how to feel. im not attracted to him. another one of his friends confessed to me yesterday. he’s pretty cool. reminds me of jj which I dont know if thats a good thing or not. heartbreak is hard and ill be the first to admit it just like I was the first to say I could never allow myself to be heartbroken by a man. I love my mind like no other. its scary sometimes but most times, its a beautiful thing. I love the way I think. I love the way I cherish things. I love the way my mind always finds the best in everything and how it always tries to help me explain my feelings. sometimes this becomes too much for even me to handle but thats okay. im sure thats the same for a lot of people. I hope that one day I can find my match and we can talk about the things ive always wanted to talk about. like the small beauties of nature. how I feel when I wake up vs when I go to sleep. how people make me feel. sometimes I wake up with this odd excitement for the day. then ill try and think of a reason as to why im so happy but I cant find any. its a nice feeling but not when you dont have anything to look forward too. is that how regular people get up every morning? happy for the day ahead? am I a regular person? whenever I wake up with that excitement for no reason, I just tell myself “im happy im able to say I woke up today. im happy that I could see my room and that I could walk over to my door and open it using my hands. im happy that today, ill get to hear the cute meow from my cat as he begs for food. today, I am happy that I get to connect with the nature around me in ways no one will understand.” that usually works. but maybe I am not a regular person. ive been hiding something for quite a while now. im very mentally unstable. ive been so since I was 10. probably younger. this year, ive only noticed a decrease in my mental health. ive been getting violent thoughts and making up stuff in my head and getting mad about it. Im showing signs of being a truly violent and aggressive person. but im not dangerous. I dont mean to be this way. I just am. soon, on May 30th, I will be seeing a psychiatrist. there, I will confess to something that I am still hiding from you. this is probably gonna land me in the mental hospital. im scared of men and my psychiatrist is one. I hope I wont be in that hospital too long. if by some chance, I am able to get on the internet there, even if its just for a second, I will talk to you. I love you! I got pancakes.

[technowoah]

Hi! This is my first time doing a request for a prompt list but can you do prompts 1,34,25 if you can put those in one fanfic, or mini series. Again this is my first time requesting a prompt list thing. If you can’t fit those three in there you can just do 1 of them. If anything I wrote just made sense, sorry if it didn’t. Have a good day!

Rather Be Devisive Then Indecisive...

Thanks for the request! I decided to do Techno cause I need some Techno content here!

Sorry it took so long 😭

C! Techno x gen neutral! Reader (platonic)

1) "I fucking hate you" "please dont say that"

34) "one more chance please?" "You're being greedy"

25) "You're right. You are useless"

⚠︎ swearing, indecisive reader, angst, angst, mentions of weapons, mentions of death, mentions of tnt & explosions, Wilbur's last canon life, sad techno, I didn't proofread, this story is so fucking long-

"Dont you see history repeating itself?!"

You found yourself in a huge predicament right now while standing by Technoblade's side, adorned in netherite armor and weapons. You were facing against the people you used once to love, the people you eere supposed to kill. You hadn't seen Tommy's face so distraught in quite some time.

Everyone thought you were the traitor, you lost the trust of the people you once sided with and loved. You couldnt stand to see the pain Tommy had in his eyes and the betrayal Tubbo showed. It wasn't true, from what you heard it wasn't true.

You didn't just appear on Technoblade's side one day, it was a tough ride to follow. The beginning of your journey had you looking desperately for a place to be, a home. You were lost in the huge kingdom with huge monuments and different types of people.

Then came L'Manburg. A place where you could be free, at least they sold it like that. You had met Tommy and Tubbo while on the Prime Path and immediately asked about their blue war coats and they immediately introduced you to L'Manburg. You were accepted a while later, meeting the citizens and making connections with all of them.

Then came Manburg and Pogtopia which led you here next to Technoblade as he went on about replacing tyrant with another. You were always on Technoblade's side ever since he joined Pogtopia. All it took was constant literature sessions and talks about politics and you were on board with his ideals and his hate for government.

You were apart of L'Manburg before Pogtopia and Technoblade had changed your mind on government he made you see everything through a different lense and that lense was beautiful and clear. You adapted his ways of thinking quickly and became "one of his personal favorites" as he would say.

Technoblade set off a firework explosion and everyone screamed and scattered, that was the "go" you ended up attacking somone else that wasn't a close friend of yours. You were trying not to attack anyone, this wasnt your style. Yes, Techno had taught you fighting styles and how to become stronger but you didn't want to fight who you considered your family.

You eventually found yourself on a hill looking over the explosions and swords swinging in the gleaming sun. People below were looking in your direction quickly then heading back into battle wondering why there werent any fireworks hot from above, but you couldnt do it. You just couldn't bring yourself to soot the crossbow that was hanging on your hip. Techno kept looking up towards you as you looked back towards him in distraught.

Everyone was yelling until Dream had spoken up.

"You know who the trader was Tommy? Tommy the traitor was Wilbur."

No it couldn't be.

"No! Technoblade killed Tubbo and Y/N left us behind, they're the traitors!" Tommy exclaimed in confusion.

Your mind couldn't make up anything at the moment, was Wilbur the real traitor instead of everyone thinking it was you? Everyone was questioning if Dream was right or not, but you were so into your own mind you didn't hear that one faint scream that lead to many others.

The ground started shaking like a earthquake was about to happen and then the ground started to break apart and explode revealing the huge amounts of TNT that was placed under the stone and dirt. You felt uneasy as smoke, and debris flew from the ground and up into the air. You heard screams of agony who were caugh in the explosion, screams of anguish who witnessed the explosion and screams of joy.

Emotions flew through you like blood. This wasnt what was supposed to happen was is? You were a citezen of L'Manburg before a citizen of Pogtopia and this was the worst thing you have ever seen. The sky turned dark and grey, the place you used to call home is gone and the person who destroyed your home was the one who built it.

"Wilbur?!" You screamed as you saw him and Philza staning next to what looked like a man made cave in the hill.

Everyone else followed your line of sight and saw Wilbur standing next to Philza talking to him. Philza had a sword in his hand and what is seemed like arguing with Wilbur as well. Everything seemed so chaotic you didnt know what to focus on, Wilbur and Philza, Dream inevitably sneaking away, or Technoblade's glare at you from a top a building. You couldn't bring yourself to face Techno right now. Technoblade was a source of comfort for you, but at this moment you had no where to turn.

The straw that broke the camel's back was seeing Philza kill Wilbur. He pierced the sword through his heart and as Wilbur's legs couldn't hold himself up anymore Philza hugged his son and fell down to the ground with him hugging him in his last moments as everyone below screamed at Philza.

Your vision became blurry as tears welled up in your eyes. Everything was gone. You had nothing left to go back, no home, no Wilbur. It seemed like Tommy and Tubbo didn't want you back in their lives so it seemed hopeless. Falling to your knees you cradled your face in your hand trying to block out all of the commotion outside.

L'Manburg was like a home you always wanted but never had. They were like family and you grew too attached. You loved them like brothers and a sister. You loved them you grew attached to them as well, especially to Wilbur because you looked up to him as a leader and he took you under his wing when you had no where to go, he cared for you like a big brother. Tommy and Tubbo were also another two you grew too attached to because of Tommy's impulsiveness and Tubbo's attention to detail and caring for others.

After the fall of L'Manburg Technoblade had to make everything worse.

He had looked towards you one last time before getting into position.

"Are you just gonna sit there!? We have a job to do!" Techno said while unsheathing a sword.

"Isn't the job done already?!" You yelled back still sat on the hill.

Techno started to laugh. "Barely!"

He jumped down from the building and into some rubble underneath him and you followed him down the hill. Techno had brung out soul sand and began placing it on the ground with wither skeleton skulls in his hands. You walked over to him and he handed you a skeleton skull, you reluctantly took it out of his hands and you saw him smirk at your compliance.

Tommy began walking towards Techno and you in a fiery rage ready to fight him. He couldn't get straight to him because of a small gap the explosion made. Tommy was trying to keep everyone on that side, safe. Dream and Punz jumped over the gap and joined both you and Techno by the soul sand.

"Stop this right now Techno!"

"You stay over there Tommy!"

The two bickered back and forth until they eventually died down and Technoblade spoke up over the talking and yelling coming from the side Tommy was on.

"Tommy, do you think you're a hero? Is that what this is?" Techno said while letting his guard down for a moment and put his crossbow down.

"I just- I just wanted L'Manburg!" Tommy exclaimed back clearly confused.

You werent a stranger to Technoblade's speeches you were a fan of them really, but not when its against someone you would consider a brother.

Technoblade spoke up over Tommy. "You wanted power.

"I wanted L'Manburg, thats all I ever wanted. I wanted..." Tommy stopped talking for a moment, like he was thinking.

"Tommy you just did a coup! You just did a hostile government takeover and then immediately instilled yourself as president." Techno explained to him in a more serious voice than before.

"And then you gave it to your friend, but that still a tyrant Tommy!"

"But the thing about his world Tommy, is that good things dont happen to heros. Let me tell you a story Tommy. A story of a man called Theseus."

Technoblade had taught you about Greek literature and how they could be compared to people in the kingdom today. He so happened to find correlations between Tommy and Theseus at this moment.

You were still anxiously waiting for Technoblade's long speech to end so you could get this heartbreak over with. The need to cry more never became more apparent until now, the need ro run away and never come back but you wanted to listen.

"His country was endagered and he sent himself forward into enemie lines, he slayed the minotaur and saved his city. You know what they did to him Tommy?!"

"What did they do-"

"They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. Thats what happens to heros Tommy." Techno finished his Greek mythology speech.

Tubbo spoke up from behind Tommy. "But he saved everyone!"

"The Greeks knew the score, but if you want to be a hero Tommy that's fine." Technoblade started walking backwards with a wither skulls in each hand.

You had soul sand infront of you and you were waiting till Technoblade set the first wither out into the world. There were wither skulls in the brown grass so you all could quickly put the skulls ontop if the sand. Technoblade thought it was a good idea to have multiple withers flying in L'Manburg at once. You and Techno were probably going to get attacked by the withers too because withers dont know who made them, they just attack.

"Technoblade dont do this! We're so close! Im not the hero! No one's the hero!" Tommy pleaded and that made your heart drop.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?! THEN DIE LIKE ONE!"

There it is. Techno started placing the skeleton heads on the soul sand and you followed suit placing three skulls onto the other. The two withers started to form and grow besides you and Technoblade. You didnt want to do this at all. You could hear the screams from the former Pogtopia and L'Manburg citizens, this wasnt what you wanted. You didn't want Wilbur to die, you didn't want L'Manburg to go, and of course you didnt want your family to die.

Technoblade grabbed your hand and led you to a higher plane, both of you dodging the blows the withers were giving out to anyone in their way. You had made it a top of the building Technoblade was before. You felt like your lungs had no air in them, from the running and and seeing Tommy desperately trying to fight a wither above him, Tubbo shooting arrows next to Quackity and the withers making Wilbur's explosion bigger than it was.

Technoblade started laughing at the destruction and the screams of the people below. You knew Technoblade was a dangerous man, he killed and did it for his own reasons that you didnt argue against. He had told you that he will tell you one day, but this wasnt that day. You didn't want to hear anything from him, you had lost everything.

"I fucking hate you." You breathed out in disbelief at the destruction below.

"Please dont say that." Techno rolled his eyes.

"You're not telling the truth-"

"MY LIFE IS GONE TECHNO! I- My home is gone! Wilbur is gone! Where do I go?!"

"Hou have me! What are you talking about? Did you just blindly follow me?! Newsflash I'm not Wilbur, Im not Schlatt! Im my own person that dosent associate with government so might as well destroy the government physically." Techno looked back out into the chaos.

"This cant be the way!"

"Do you have another plan?!"

"If I did it wouldn't have mattered." You said calming down, but still angry.

"Should've said something sooner." Techno said while walking away from the edge of the building and away from you.

"Again, it wouldn't have mattered." You said as a final statement before he walked away.

You didnt know where he was going nor did you care at this point. You retreated for now and found yourself back in Pogtopia. Going down into the decorated cave and reminiscing on times shared. The moments where Tommy was messing with Wilbur, when Tubbo immediately relaxed when he found himself around Pogtopia and he could be himself, when Techno and you had extremely deep talks in the potato farm.

You ended up going back to your home later that night trying to clear your mind and trying to know where to go next. The next morning your feet had a mind of its own that morning because you ended up at Tommy's house. You had knocked on his door and he swung it opened it with his widened eyes not expecting you to be there. He was bandaged up more than usual, he had scars on his hands and face too. It was a sad sight for you.

"Y/N?! What are you doing here!? I didn't-"

You cut Tommy off by hugging him and trying not to cry at the sight.

"Im so sorry Tommy." You said regretting everything.

"Im sorry I hurt you."

"Hey calm down. I forgive you, but it's gonna be hard ya know?" Tommy explained as you let him go sniffling.

"I understand, you shouldn't feel obligated to forgive me I know its going to be hard to help them grow even though I betrayed them." You slightly laughed and Tommy smiled.

You felt accomplished that day. You hung out with Tommy the whole day, then found Tubbo as well. They both accepted you but slowly but surely were going to forgive you. You hated that they were in pain but they knew you were in pain as well. Later that day you sat down with the both of them and wrote letters to everyone wanting to reconnect again. The two had said they would help deliver the letters while you delivered some too.

The day turned into night and you and Tubbo were currently walking around doing nothing in particular. Tommy had headed home as you promised to visit him tomorrow. You and Tubbo both ended up on the topic of Phil. Silence fell upon you two, you didn't know what to say about that. You didn't know Phil that well, but he seemed regretful. Wilbur's death became a touchy subject between you two. Tubbo then asked you about Technoblade and you had no answer to that either.

Technoblade left without telling you anything at first you didnt care, but now you are slightly regretting having that stupid fight. Days continued to go on and your regret became more apparent each and every day. You had reconnected with former L'Manburg members and asked for forgiveness. It was a slow process but you all became closer in due time.

Technoblade and your relationship grew further apart and you noticed that. You never seen him since the final day of L'Manburg until one day.

You had visited the abandoned and long forgotton Pogtopia once more longing for the days before all Hell broke loose.

"What are you doing here?" You turned your head to see Technoblade standing not too far away from you.

"What are YOU doing here?! Where have you been?" You exclaimed not knowing whether to run to him or stand still.

"Well im used to being left alone. It's not that hard you should try it sometimes."

"Last thing I remember was you walking away."

"Last thing I remember was you yelling at me and telling me that you fucking hated me." Techno said matching your tone.

"I was in a bad place at that moment." You tried to justify your actions when in reality you couldn't.

"Weren't you all!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" You said getting defensive.

"I mean all of you L'Manburgians. You all were going through something. That something was the death of your leader and the inevitable death if your country. You apparently never let go of that side, L'Manburg is still with you somehow." Techno explained to you.

He always read you like an open book. You still never let go of L'Manburg and thats why you went back and left your and Technoblade's relationship behind. Yes that was your fault, but you can try and reconnect, try to build trust again.

"Can't I be with them and you at the same time?" You asked, while your confidence left your body.

"NO! WHAT?! Why would you say that?! Have you been listening to me?!"

"I have! You-"

"No you clearly fucking havent! They are feeding into the very thing they sought to destroy! History is repeating and you going back is only encouraging it! Soon enough the new "L'Manburg" will fall time and time again!" Technoblade yelled clearly fed up with the conversation.

"Technoblade. I wanted to make ammends with you! I wanted to be on your side again!" You pleaded.

"Apparently not because you keep runnning to L'Manburg!"

You were getting desperate, it felt like everything was lost again. Why did you have to chose between anti-government and pro-government. You didnt have to, you just needed your friendship that was torn apart glued back together. The need to rekindle the friendship between you and Technoblade began to exceed everything else and continued to cloud your mind.

"One more chance please?!"

"You're being greedy." Techno taunted.

"Techno listen! I-"

"I am listening." He interrupted you on purpose.

"Seriously I wanted to rekindle our friendship so please just let me do this!" You pleaded.

"That's not going to be happening anytime soon. You know Im usually the one being left, but now that I see you like this I now understand why people leave others." He laughed.

You stayed silent and that gave him the opportunity to speak more.

"Those that have treated me with kindness, I will repay that kindness tenfold. And those that treat me with injustice, that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends. I shall pay that injustice a thousand times over."

Another speech he would use another time. Your gaze was set on the stone ground beneath you. You couldn't face him and you knew he was talking about you. You weren't going to get the happy ending you always dreamt of. You were always aware of falling out of friendships but you never knew that one of your falling friendships would hurt this badly.

"All that time ago, you're right, you were right. You are useless."

"I dont need you anymore." Technoblade continued and ascended up the stairs to leave. He left you alone down in Pogtopia, it was hard.

"I came here to get actual shit done, but it turns out I couldn't." You heard Technoblade mumble upstairs before you were for sure he left.

You were left in the once lively underground community of Pogtopia. It was quiet and still now with the only thing was a small cool whispering of the wind.

You had your family, slowly but surely it was coming together but now everything seemed more broken than ever. Unbeknownst to you everything would get worse.

[the-restisconfetti]

Lithuanian photographer and volunteer Algirdas Bakas on his mission in Bucha, Ukraine (FB post):

Please treat this as a historical document. Im trying to be as impartial as possible.  All interviews have been transcribed from audio recording to the best of my ability.

2022.04.17

The pain of Bucha.

On the phone with a doctor Arina from Bucha.

“The last pharmacy closed with the first bombs, over 6 weeks now, we are in terrible need of blood pressure regulating, pain relieving, heart function supporting and other medicine people depend on. I have nothing to give them”.

She sends the order to the pharmacy and I promise to come right away. The main highway is closed resulting in 20km of incoming traffic. Its getting late as I deliver the medicine to a make shift hospital in Vorzel. Theres no way I can make it back to Kiev before curfew. Might as well stay in Bucha.

Its eerie. Streets have been cleaned but I cant stop aligning the images form the news to the reality of now. As night falls Bucha its nothing but zombie town, with a few drunks staggering around pushing shopping trolleys in front of them. I stop to take a picture and a young guy with an AK appears out of nowhere. Lithuania was one the first countries to react helping Ukraine with all we could so saying Im from Litva immediately summons an approving smile and a nod.

“Stay safe, curfew starts soon and theres a lot of marauding going on at the moment”.

Ok.

I arrive to a block of flats where doctor Arina lives. Since the gas and electricity were cut off, theres a constant fire pit going on at the entrance, so people can make tea, cook and get warm.

“Our sniper was sitting right over there at the top of the unfinished 16 floor house, they were trying to shoot him down and hit our house many times, thats why top floors are destroyed”.

Men at a fire offer me a cup of sweet tea and many stories. Oleg remembers how he was fleeing Bucha at the peak of attacks and saw a Ukrainian air defense pilot destroy a whole squad of tanks and gas trucks.

“He flew through once, turned around, got very low, turned the plane sideways and fired 6 rockets setting the whole parade ablaze. The noise of the plane and exploding gas trucks made me slightly death on one ear”.

Sergey was working in Kiev when Bucha fell in the first days of March and lost contact with his family, wife and two little sons.

“For two days I was trying to get inside Bucha after loosing contact with them, soldiers wouldn’t let me in, they were saying I will surely die, but whats the point of living if my family is dead, they are all I have. Finally they let me trough the bridge and  I receive a phone call from my mother in law to say they were evacuated to Poland. In a few days all hell broke loose here, they were killing everyone who was on the street”.

After a night in my van I find a bigger and slightly more sober crowd at the fire and the stories continue.

“They were shocked to see we have asphalt roads, electricity and microwave ovens in every house, they couldn't believe it. Everyone who stayed in Bucha had to tie a white piece of fabric on the doors. Houses without them were kicked in and all was stolen. They took everything, washing machines, TVs, spoons, slippers, even used underwear! What they couldnt take was destroyed. We sat in the basement with our doors locked with screws from inside, daytime we had to go out looking for food, we washed the spoiled meat in vinegar and ate it. Nobody was ready and had piles of food stocked up. We ate anything we could find. After the city got freed and President came, we slowly started receiving aid.”

Fried eggs are being made when women called Ira joins us. She says she cried all night and every night since finding out her only son Bogdan (24) was killed 60 days ago. He was at the front line working with Javelin launcher.

“He called us every night, and on the first of March - no call. We still had some network coverage, but almost everyone had run out of power to charge their phones. Somehow I got in touch with his sergeant, he apologized and told me Bogdan has stepped on a land mine and died. I have travelled for days to the hospital for recognition, we had to pass 35 bloc posts to get there, but there wasn't much left to recognize. I couldn't recognize my own son..! God, where are we going to do the funeral reception, here on the bench?!” 

A mistake was made filling out the documents and family cant burry Bogdan before its untangled, holding the mother in limbo. She asks not to be photographed. It wont bring her son back.

Food leftovers are being used to feed neiborhood animals. Theres a huge dog and bunch of chicken to be fed just across the road. Since the massive dog Boss wont let anyone in Ira ties the pot with food to a wire and pushes it underneath the gate. To feed the chicken she has to climb on the roof.

Im always trying to gather info about the situation in humanitarian aid points where ever I go. It helps me understand the situation and how best to help. This one in Bucha is set up in a gymnasium and even though the queue is long, people can get enough food to get by. I chat with Ira who runs the place.

“Its really touching, we have aid arriving from all over the world, Poland, Lithuania, Italy, Brasil.. Two crazy guys drove from Spain in a little cargo van stuffed with food. We received an ambulance stuffed with army vests and clothing for the soldiers. Finally we have enough food for everyone who comes hungry”. 

Ira, who runs a hair salon in the time of peace, hasn't left Bucha and had whiteness a fair share of horrors herself. 

Doctor Arina arrived and we go for a short walk around town. All the shops we pass were broken into. Many houses are destroyed. She recalls receiving the first batch of soldiers with shot wounds, limbs missing, some lost their minds.

“I was not prepared for it. I was taught everything in school and I had the knowledge, but I wasn't ready”.

Trees are starting to bloom and she says the town was blossoming too. Now its stained with blood and horrible pain.

“Imagine, they were planting land mines under some of the dead bodies on the street. You go looking for your missing relative, say you find your loved one shot laying on the street and want to bring the body to a safe place - boom. Theres many more things I can tell you more if you're ready? They would throw a gas bomb in the basement where people were hiding and opened fire as they were scrambling out into fresh air. They would shoot in the legs to watch them suffer and bleed to death. They came into a kinder garden just here, shot the woman in charge and fired rounds into the kids books to send the message about Ukrainian language. You’ve  probably heard about the gang raping, where 15 of them would rape a young girl and leave her bleeding to death. We have many, many stories like that..”

Ukrainian borsch is being made as we arrive back to the house. Neighbors are constantly cooking something to share with 5-8 families since nobody has gas or electricity at home. Theres no concept of ownership, everyone brings what they have to make a dish. People are united in pain.

I insist Im not hungry but they pour me a plate first anyway. Its probably the best borsch I’ve ever had. Definitely in the top 3.

After lunch a young guy Max takes me to see another part of town and whats left of his school where russian army was based. The streets are scarred with tank tracks, fences broken.

“Thank God local government has collected the corpses, few days ago it was really scary”.

Theres some chance Bucha wasn't de-mined 100% so we tread lightly trying to stick to the pavement. We pass through brand new blocks of flats, windows broken, burned and destroyed cars in the parking lots to reach the 3rd school where r.f. soldiers were based. Yard is full of ammo boxes, broken glass, empty bottles, shells, russian army out of date food packs, bullets and boots. A military shovel is sticking out of the ground. After some hesitation we enter the school. Its a mess. They didn't leave one door unopened. Ones they could no open were taken down with a frame. Class by class we go through the whole school witnessing thievery of the lowest degree. Computers have hard drives and chips removed, Ukrainian flags soiled, equipment broken. On the top floor we discover a pirates treasure room full of stolen goods, TVs, washing machines, mattresses. I guess they left in a hurry.

Only the ussr museum on the top floor remains in tact. I cant help but wonder what was going through the soldiers minds looking at all this memorabilia of an army that not so long ago were brothers in arms.

[australet789]

since you finished omori, i want to hear some of ur thoughts.

Like the character synergies, music, plot or something like that

oh boy do i have thoughts

under the read more for spoilers, suicide mention, violence, psychologial horror:

Oh god where to start.

First to say that it's very clear that the main inspiration is Undertale/Deltarune, basically because of the tone and intention, and while they tried hard, it failed at some points.

The big fail, for me, is how they handled the Dreamworld compared to the Real World. Cause once you get out and get a glimpse to the real world, you want to come back to it and try to solve the mystery. The Dreamworld doesnt sound appealing anymore, you just want to get to the bosses and speedrun those sections (specially Sweetheart's castle and everything related to her), so you can get back and focus on what's happening in the other world. Which is sad, because, while there's lore hidden in the Dreamworld, the characters are no memorable there. It lacks the charm that Deltarune has in this matter, if we compare the two pieces of media. I would say that maybe the writers tried to make the Dreamworld unappealing in a symbolic way for Sunny to move on, but that's a stretch.

Now to the real world

oh boy, now that's the interesting part

I think that area is the best one. You get to know the town, you get hints and reactions about Mari's death, why it couldnt have been made a scandal, the kids are grown up now but you care for them, for their now, their fucked up present, more than their past. Because you want to help them. even tho i felt it was more about helping Aubrey and Sunny, than the other three. Because with Hero and Kel we knew their backstories, but for Aubrey and Sunny, we didnt know the whys. And Basil wasnt as cared until the reveal moment, because he has been framed as an antagonist for the whole game until that moment.

btw the horror with Sunny's nightmares was amazing. The foreshadowing with the One Eye figure being Mari's judging eye was super cool. The whole section of overcoming your fears was very well done.

Before going to the controversial part (yeah, that part) I want to say that my favorite character is Hero. My man deserved better, he deserved to know what really happened, and when you see the photos with Mari, you can see how much he loved her That broke my little heart.

Kel and Aubrey are ok, altho i favor Aubrey because of what you see when you enter her house. You realize then that her anger was justified. Obviously the bullying was wrong, but she was in her right to be angry at Sunny and co.

Sunny

Sunny is my least favorite but not for the reasons you may believe. I dont blame him for what happened to Mari, nor following Basil's plan to make it look like a suicide. ( funny story: i have seen several comments on youtube being like "kids wont ever think about suicide, the whole plan feels unrealistic", and i was like "dude, this is a game inspire in undertale...UNDERTALE. I was literally thinking about suicide at 6-7 years old. It's not weird for kids to have those thoughts". ok end of story, let's continue). Because if you gather information, you may know that Mari has weak knees caused by a prior accident. Now, both siblings were at the border of the stairs. I dont know you, but being so close to a border makes myself tense and try to keep my balance. Sunny pushing her just so he could pass (cause Mari was blocking the way) most likely made her lose her balance, and probably nothing would have happened has she not had the knee problem. Her legs probably wobbled, which caused her to fall and die.

Now the source of a lot of discussions in the fandom game: the suicide plan. Honestly? I also dont blame Basil to coming with that idea. Of course the idea was terrible and telling the truth would have saved a lot of the problems. But they were kids and the thing with kids is that they dont think the long consequences of their actions or how would that affect others. Which is exactly what happened. Basil just wanted to protect Sunny. In that moment he didnt care that a suicide is actually a big thing, and in the small religious town they lived, it was gonna be worse, Basil just cared to save Sunny and nothing else. If the accident was framed as suicide, they wouldnt focus on Sunny. I'm pretty sure that went through Basil's mind and that's why he did it.

It work, but not as they expected

Because obviously, the parents knew what happened. I'm pretty sure the police knew too, but it was stated that Sunny's family was one if not the richest in the town, so i would imagine the parents paid for the silence. but still, the family got broken: Sunny's dad disowned him and left.

But again, that's not why i dont like Sunny that much. What i didnt like of him was, when he finally gets out of his 4 years self confinement and reunites with Basil and he later finds Basil crying, he just freaking leaves in a cold way. I was livid when that happened. Basil risked himself by helping Sunny, lived with the same guilt for years, only for Sunny to see him in distress and just flees? wtf dude

And that happens again in the final boss fight against Basil. It's clear that Basil is having a mental breakdown and seeing hallucinations, and instead of helping, SUNNY TRIES TO RUN AWAY AGAIN!

For me, those two instances made me not like Sunny like the other characters. Yes, he was suffering too, but that's not the way to treat the friend that literally helped you when you killed your sister. Getting his eye lost was very deserved tbh.

And im glad that, in the true ending, he actually decides to reveal the truth. Basil and the others deserved as much. I would have loved to know their reactions and if they would decide to forgive Basil and Sunny for it. I like to think they did, at their own pace.

[lifewithborderline]

Trigger warning

Life never fails to throw things in my path when life is going well. My mental health has been up and down and my relationship with my gf has been up and down but more up lately as ive felt more connected and open with her. My relationship with my little sister has been a bit strained as i did not want to be around her jerk of a boyfriend and her girlfriend. But they broke up with her and needed my support so i had her over and we had a great open conversation. She opened up about a flashback she had and had questions about. She said she was about 5 and she was under the table with no clothes on and just me and my dad were home with her, mom came home early and me and dad came out from somewhere else in the house. We talked about how i have very few memories with my dad but i remember that day. I remember before mom left she put a phone in the bathroom bottom drawer and told me if something happened i should call and she would come home. Well i have no memory of what happened until mom came home early and dad freaked out. I know i called her but i do t remember why or what i said to her. I remember being scared. But being scared wasnt a new feeling when i was with me dad. I dont know why i was scared of him either. I have so many memories of going out with my dad but dont remember what happened when i got in the car. Only one memory i have was being pulled over by a cop because we didnt have seat belts on. My dad told me not to tell mom and if i did i would be in trouble and it was my fault that we got caught. So when my mom got something in the mail about the ticket she asked me and told me it was dads fault for not being responsible and i should have told her. Anyway, my sister bringing up this memory led to an immediate migraine. After she left i started crying, part from the pain in my head and part i didnt know why. I ended up having a panic attack but thankfully my partner was able to help get it under control fairly quickly. Many people have told me that i seem to act like i was abused as a kid and i never believed them. But now im not sure. Did i block memories because i was and couldnt handle it? Theres not much information on repressed memories or anything like that that ive been able to find. But looking up things that kids do when they have been abused sexually it was like describing me to a T. I dont know how to process something that only my body remembers and i dont know if i want to know what happened. It brings so many questions up and so much frustration. Nothing gives me answers. Mom doesnt remember, she has had brain surgery and lost a lot of her memories and she probably blocked some too if it was that bad. My little sister has blanks too. My older sisters dont know or wont say anything. And i dont talk to my dad anymore and dont really want to. I had a few really rough mental days but now i just dont know where to go from here. I havent seen my counselor in a while and am waiting for my appt to come up. I feel so lost, and depressed over something i dont know really happened. Its frustrating that i dont want to be at work, i just wanna crawl into bed and stay there. I cant seem to sleep. When i do sleep its that awful surface sleep that i can head everything happening around me and when i wake up it feels like i havent slept. Now it doesn't help that im getting sick.

Sorry that this probably is long, boring and doesnt make sense. But that how my brain is now.

[captainstevenrogerswrites]

Not my Captain.

@mrsrogerswrites

"Captain! Theres a rift opening. No known origin but its growing in size"

Captain Rogers stood tall as a smirk etched his features. Soldier surrounded him with few scientists. He despised scientists as a whole, always thinking they knew best, always over thinking, where as a soldier followed his command without any thinking and the ones they didnt......well their blood splattered the walls in defiant decoration to show anyone thinking of disobeying him just how he handled betrayal and free thinking from his men. He didnt care either if they respected him or just feared him, to him they were the same. You followed his orders, you lived for now. You didnt you would be praying the enemy killed you before Steve had a chance too because if he felt in a mood, he would drag your death out until you were begging for death and then simply keep dragging it on until your body killed itself and the last thing you would see was his dark smile creasing his lips. No one dared stand up to him.

Soldiers he tolerated, scientists only when they were of use to him. Everyone else was free game to him. If you were of use, he would acknowledge your existence, if not you were nothing to him. Same with relieving himself, if he wanted to fuck you, he never asked, he just took what he wanted from you, not caring if you couldnt take it either. After all, why would he care about you when you were just a fuck toy he was using for a couple of minutes relief. He was nothing like Captain America from other realms, he was Captain HYDRA; the ultimate super soldier in every way.

"Sir it's to another dimension " he dragged the scientist up to his feet as he began to tremble in fear "To where?" He snarled at the scared man "I....I....I dont know" with one swift action he broke his neck "the next person who cant answer my fucking question gets thrown in" everyone frantically tried to work out where.

He smiled to himself, another dimension, another Earth, he had helped HYDRA gain power over the world here and keep it. He was known as HYDRAS main man and he thrived upon it. If this other world wasnt ruled by them then maybe it was time it was "Sir, we have visual contact"

Looking up at the screen he saw blurry outlines of people as he snarled recognising some of them "Fury" he had killed him but it could be fun to kill this one too. The rift started to destabilise but he would be damnned if he was going to lose the chance of some more fun so he grabbed some of his men and ran through it just before it disappeared.

Walking slowly into view of the people, he didnt care his men had probably got shredded to pieces by not making it through with him. They were replaceable. "Captain Rogers" Fury questioned him as Rogers perked his brow in curiosity, the way he said it made it sound like this Rogers was on their side. He could feel the disgust inside of him with that thought, his version here working alongside him as a good guy, it was stuff of nightmares.

"But you're dead" another man spoke up in shock as Rogers fought back the urge to roll his eyes at his stupidity every bone in his body wanted to rip his tongue out and feed it him for it but he didnt. He was still assessing his situation and maybe he could play along as another good guy.

"I'm sorry for your loss, but dimensions are being split everywhere..." damn he was sounding like those pathetic scientists . "We need to fix the damage. What better way then teaming up?" He forced a smile, one that didnt look dark as his eyes then landed on a redhead. He would have her bent over that desk and fucking her brains out if he didnt have to play so pitifully good and maybe she would be one that could actually take it. He tried to hide the smirk, it's a shame he couldnt find out. At least not yet, as soon as HYDRA had taken over this world too, he would fuck her and if she was any good maybe he would keep her just for his amusement. Oh the possibilities but then she opened her mouth and he just wanted to ram his cock down her fucking throat to shut that precious mouth up. "So HYDRAs now the good guys" she motioned to his arm badge of the symbol of his home.

He smirked "different dimension love, who says SHIELD are the good guys for me?" He winked at her as soldiers attacked him and he snapped their necks, earning him a small fight and guns being to his head. He wasnt going to get anywhere with them all dead, so didnt show what he was fully capable of yet and put his hands up "well where we come from, HYDRA are the bad guys and were not taking any chances"

It had been at least three weeks since he was thrown in this god forsaken cell. Not that it bothered him, it gave him time to analyse and plan. If he wasnt sat up on the bed, he was doing press ups or walking around his block to keep his body moving but, even though he refused to show it, he was a restless beast trapped in a cage biding it's time before it attacked its prey. Two more days later and the opportunity leading to that might had reared its head.

"Our HYDRA has a device that can be of use to fix all the dimensions effected by the rift. You and Agent Romanoff will infiltrate and get the device. If you help us fix the rift we will let you go back to your dimension alive" he smirked at Furys words, Steve saw right through him, there was no chance in hell that these people would let him go back. His eyes deliberately walked all over her body before looking back at the man who thought he was in charge. This could be fun with her and he could bring down SHIELD here too. Throwing the lion back into the lions den....no wonder SHIELD didnt survive long in his world the idea of her company amused him too, which was rare so he nodded "very well, I'll be a good boy and play nice"

The woman scowered at him "or meet the end of my knife. Either way suits me" he looked at her and grinned, she was feisty and loved knives....now she just got a hell of a lot kinkier. Maybe he would keep her after all but then again he never really was much to keep things around and he had to play along for now.

"Lead the way, red" he smirked as they handcuffed him but his eyes stayed on her. fuck her and kill her, fuck her to death, just kill her or keep her as his own personal cum bucket. It was fucking awful he couldnt do any as he played the good boy. He was going to find a way back or turn this world into his own. Either way he wouldnt let some fiesty little redhead stop him. In time, he would double cross her and enjoy every fucking moment of it.