#why change it up 🙃
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Need I remind Ryan Condal(and the fans of this show who want her cut because she’s irrelevant) that in every piece of media on the Dance [The princess and the queen(2013), The World of Ice & Fire(2014), the Dance DVD lore(2015), Fire & Blood(2018), and The Rise of the Dragon(2022)]Nettles is always there.
Some characters that will be featured in the show like Addam of Hull(he’s not mentioned by name in the DVD lore), Alys Rivers(she’s not mentioned in the DVD lore or The World of Ice & Fire), or Gwayne Hightower(he’s not mentioned in the DVD lore or The World of Ice & Fire) are not mentioned in certain versions of the story, but Nettles is featured in every single version of the Dance.
#hbo I am watching you#nettles#house of the dragon#hotd spoilers#I’m not trying to piss anyone off because I like all the characters I mentioned#I am however trying to point out how this show is treating certain characters#netty#nettles asoiaf#hotd#she’s been there since the beginning#again if GRRM or even HBO itself could always find some way to squeeze her in what is stopping them now 🙃#why change it up 🙃#nettles f&b#what would be the reason 🙃#if someone replies to this with ‘HOTD has reached their Black quota’ you won’t like my reply 😊#they also shouldn't push her back a season#they've squeezed in everyone inlcuding freaking silver denys and give a storyline before the sowing for twiddle dumb and dee#give us nettles ✊🏽
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staaaaares off into the void
#officially spiraling again 🙃#bad thoughts everywhere about my inability to be a human and fear of that never changing#everyone around me can make it work can have lives can hold jobs and not want to kill themselves#why can't i lmfoafksjdhfs#um. yeah. idk. i have counselling on tuesday i think so i'm tryin to just hold on til then#but i'm also out of my antidepressants and the pharmacy has gone over the max 72 hrs without an update on my renewal request#had to take half my dose today so i have half for tomorrow too#so i'm probably gonna feel even worse for the next couple days 🙃🙃🙃#gonna look at doing some writing to distract myself + focus on good things#but i promise nothing idk how it's gonna go#and i'll probably be quiet when it comes to dms even though i just started catching up#bc being social just sounds like too much for me to handle today. sorry ;n;#i'll be fine!!!! promise i'm not like. Planning anything. just needed to vent a little#and as always i feel the need to explain my absence from dms bc god forbid someone misunderstand me that's apparently one of my worst fears#and deepest traumas lmaooooooooo... fuck#sorry. SORRY. sorry for the negative crying on the dash i just genuinely don't have anywhere else to spew it until tuesday (':#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.#suicidal ideation cw#personal cw#vent cw#negative cw
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im at the part of the unemployment/health chores where i am continually (politely!) harassing four different entities. why isn’t my shit done. why did you lose it. hello are you alive
#why aren’t my medical records transferred over. why aren’t my taxes done#why isn’t my unemployment here yet. why aren’t my OTHER medical records transferred yet#i bought new health insurance through the marketplace 🙃 expensive. i want to throw up. and changing all THAT over has been a nightmare#and i see a new primary care on fri morning#and i will need no fewer than seven referrals#i am betting on a six to nine waiting list for all of them which is why i feel ok doing it now whilst unemployed#and i need to. NEED to go to the dentist for them to give me a list of everything that’s wrong so i can take it to the dental college#and hopefully get better prices. but god almighty#still no unemployment money btw 🙃 im covered for rent for next month but a credit card is going to be late and i think at least one thing#will be overdrafted#and i still have not had a single response from any job or a single interview#and my cats still hate each other#and my beans have some sort of mosaic virus#truly so so so many trials and tribulations#this past year (last March to this March) has been the scariest and worst financial time of my Life and it’s not even over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#not feeling very adult and self sufficient and on top of it!!!!!
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Tumblr's new IM system is fucking horrible. Thanks for making it so I'm unable to close chat windows!
#🦇 || ooc#;; mun bullshit#UGH I am not happy with the new IM system#They've made the close button so far up into the header that you're unable to physically close the messenger 🙃#Worse it takes up at least a THIRD of my screen?#Who the fuck thought this was a great design?#Absolute cunts#Okay it can be closed IF you click their icon to bring up the blog header but why in the ever-living fuck do they do this shit?#Make changes so janky and convoluted when nobody asked for it?#Fuck off
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thinking about my immortal ocs and their fun family drama 🥰
#technically they exist in the same universe as livvy's canon#their names are nessa and angus and theyre old as balls#like angus forgets how he got his immortality but he resents it a lot#man is like 10s of thousands of years old. and the human mind is straight up not built to last that long#a lot of the time it seems like hes just got pretty bad dementia but. sometimes that involves him screaming out in long dead languages#or forgetting what century hes in#nessa is much younger in comparison#she was born and raised in the dustbowl during the great depression#she has a little sister who is now almost 90 years old and set up in a comfy assisted living community that nessa visits often#she begged for her sister to do the immortality thing with her years and years ago but her sister adamantly refused#the idea of outliving her husband and their children and grandchildren was just. not smth she could handle#so nessa begrudgingly accepted that#angus found nessa as a gangly 13 y/o runaway and took her in#he was VERY against the idea of her being immortal and refused to talk to her for over a year when she went through#the Change without telling him#eventually he forgot why he was angry at her in the first place 🙃#but yeah nessa is v much team 'death is for suckers there is SO MUCH i want to see and do still'#she looks maybe 30 and is thriving#she hired a 19 y/o caregiver to look out for angus and severely underestimates that caregiver in terms of Knowing angus is immortal#she just told her that angus is a historian with dementia and thats why sometimes he gets upset when he finds hes in present day LA#and not in viking era greenland#but the caregiver is like 🤨
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man sometimes wish I didn't have enough self-worth and critical thinking to prevent myself from making dumb decisions I want to be able to do something I know is very bad for me and not worry about the consequences!! let me be free!
#< said by the guy thats already doing this with several other things but thats not important rn#also this is slightly silly and goofy im glad im smart enough to not do all the dumb things i think#this is mostly about me wanting to get back with my ex 🙃 almost entirely bc im lonely and depressed and being with her made me happy#but i know that if we were to get back together it would be awful in every single way#bc theres no way for us to 'fix' the reasons why we broke up without one of us changing fundamentally#so if we got back together we'd both know the other is comprimising themself in some way#which is what made us break up in the first place!!#also also we'd still be long-distance bc. we still live in different parts of the country. so absolutely no physical comfort#which is really what i'd want from making this dumb decision#idk part of it is that i want to get back together bc i really miss what we had but what we had will never happen again between us so.#no point in doing it for that reason#this is all just a big word salad ugh#ive been v tempted to text her like things are back to normal and we're just friends#and id like to be friends again i just know i'll catch feelings bc they aren't even really gone and i can't do that to myself or her#EXPLODING TEN MILLION TIMES 💥💥💥💥
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Some of y'all need to learn what the fuck boundaries are because it is *no way* good for you to be genuinely frothing at the mouth that a teenager in your latest fandom doesn't ship your ship and simply blocking you over it
#the 'im gonna call anyone i dont like a anti and feelings yakuza' creeps are at it again lmao.#recently saw one make a comment in their own fic (which they *admitted* to mind you) telling people to watch cp instead of reading their fi#and another made up a scenario that a mom had saught her out because her daughter was harassed into being a anti and sent a fic to her kid#no explanation to how she knew op would be chronically online enough. no explanation as to how op would know the exact go to.#but still has near 10k notes despite what little knowledge is given 🤔#🙃 yall need to grow the fuck up right Now.#also why are you in your 40s attacking minors for blocking you when you tell them too if they dont like your content lmfao?????#the world hasnt known peace since yall changed 'proship/antiship' to mean 'good/bad'/'bad/good'#i mean this from the Bottom of my heart. shut the fuck up and move on - yall are both the same person but on opposite spectrums. genuinely.#have the night you deserve and all that comes with it.#im gonna get death threats from both of yall for this like always <3#in case this flew over your heads: neither of yall are 'anti harassment'. im telling you directly both sides have impacted me negatively.#you are the same person just with different ideas of morality. this does not make you smarter or nicer than the other.#your unwillingness to see how any of this is why you are the way you are and will never change.
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not a phan-blog anymore but I felt like this needed to be recirculated again
just gotta say the speculation into dans gender is really sad and hurtful to see. it genuinely bothers me that people really saw everything this man (and trans people) had to go thru over the past decade and said
"lets try that again but even worse this time!"
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i have personally gone thru this kind of invasive speculation; being harassed into publicly answering questions i didn't even get a chance to ask myself.
every outfit. how my hair looked. the way i sit. how i carried myself. what my interests were. my sexuality. what position i prefer in bed. everything. everything was used to prove or dispute any speculation about me.
it was extremely traumatic, painful and scary
i wound up being forcibly outed and put into serious danger over stuff like this.
Please Stop
people can cross dress or be androgynous and still be cis/binary. and that is okay.
#read prev tags#dont dm me to argue#im really not interested in engaging with 95% of the phandom#hurts to see this shit over and over again#not entirely related to current discourse but still important#i made this post almost a year ago and nothing has changed 🙃#not only has it not changed#its gotten worse#*sighs dramatically*#im not even like angry or upset about it anymore#its just fucking annoying and almost laughable#and i mean that about all of the different discourse thats been happening over the past 4-5 months#can we like talk about their content and their world fucking tour instead of speculating about their personal lives#beyond what they share with us#like they share so much (almost too much) about themselves and each other and people still want more#why?#being more obsessed with the lives of two people you haven't ever met than you are with your own is not healthy please realize that#and they are never going to 100% line up with your personal views and beliefs#they are never going to be perfect#they are never going to be able to see every single fan in every part of the world#some places are not safe for lgbt+ and others require heavy censorship#and they could be banned from those countries or face jail time for violating the guidelines that they are given in order to enter/perform#i could go on and on about this but i really don't feel like dealing with rude anons in my dms#my opinion on these things will not change#phan#dan and phil#dip and pip#dan howell#phil lester#phandom
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#ofc my smoke alarm battery dies at 4am 🙃#why not#idk how to change it nor do i want to get up to do so#:((((
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I swear to god everything from the weather to my equipment to my neighbours to my own fucking body is conspiring to make sure I don’t get a good run this week
#let me see if i can get the timeline right here#tried to run on sunday but my treadmill was acting up by making the loudest knocking noises i have ever heard in my LIFE#after some consultation with google and the manual and my mother (who i assume knows everything) i realised i hadn’t oiled it since i bought#it in uhhhhhh fucking september. so i oiled it. couldn’t run on it same night because i was worried about oil#so i was like fine okay. postpone one day. that was monday. my period arrived 4 days late and with a ferocity that had me hiding#under a blanket and praying for death. fine. postpone one more day#tried to run yesterday and my leggings kept falling down. so much that i rage quit. i think i ran 5 minutes in total#i didn’t even think oh let me get changed and try again. i just decided it was all over for me#postponed until TODAY. the hottest fucking day i have experienced since last summer. fab#tell me why i was 100% in the zone and my neighbour came and BANGED ON THE WINDOW AND SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME#we are all very lucky i didn’t fall off. if she’d caused me to dislocate my knee (my recurring body problem 🙃) i would genuinely have killed#her. she would be an ex-person#and the kicker is ALL SHE WANTED TO KNOW WAS IF I WOULD FEED THE HEDGEHOG AND WATER HER PLANTS WHILE SHE IS GONE#this isn’t a personal pet hedgehog or anything like that mind you. this is a wild hedgehog. it can feed itself#i was like yes of course i will IF you promise me you’ll never surprise a person on a treadmill ever again#she slunk off home like a kicked dog. like i’m sorry but if you don’t want to be yelled at about the consequences of your actions#don’t be a dick#i’d be less mean if she hadn’t witnessed me this time last year hobbling around with a cane#if she didn’t know the absolute MONTHS OF AGONY i went through just to be able to stand long enough to do normal activities like cooking#and showering; i’d be a little more lenient. but woman you can see me running on the treadmill i bought TO TEACH MYSELF TO WALK#WITHOUT A LIMP AGAIN. back in september i was stumbling along on that thing at 2km an hour. do you want me back there??????#drove me a little insane tbh#anyway i did finish my run. i wouldn’t say it was a GOOD run. almost having a heart attack kind of took me out of the zone#and i never got it back again. count your FUCKING days jean#personal
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not to be that person but i really fucking hate depression
#why does it just appear from nowhere#like obviously it never fully goes away#but why do the bad slumps just hit you on a random thursday afternoon#make it make sense#i’m going to cry#i hate it here#tw mental health#tw depression#depressive episode#find me the nearest bridge#that last tag was a joke#probably#never say never#this is so 2013 tumblr#if this was written over a picture of ripped fishnets#it’d do numbers#i’d be unstoppable#anyway#gonna go cry now#fuck depression#mental health#send me happiness#if i end up having to change antidepressants again#🙃🙃🙃#idk what i meant by this#not to be that person#what a depressed one#idk lmao
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i hateeee whenever i give my ocs names that are so so cool to me that i really want them for myself
#why didnt i name myself victor.... or elias.... or dorian.... or jasper.... or silas......#like i know names are just words and you can change them but hhhhhh idk#especially craving the name victor or dorian for myself tbh#honestly i feel like ive loved the name victor since i was a little kid playing mysims and being kinda obsessed w vic vector#but ofc i had to go with leo 🙃 bc i was fed up with there even being an option ppl could mispronounce my name#like i like leo its a nice enough name and i guess after all these years it is sorta me but i rly shouldve chosen a cooler name#or i could just say actually fuck the name leo im picking a different one#maybe i should ask my mom again what other names i couldve possibly gotten idk....#but dorian and silas and victor tho.......
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My cousin randomly messaged my mom in the middle of the night asking to crash at our place this weekend 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
This definitely won't fuck with my routine at all 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Im going to be soooo normal about it
#i love my cousin and dont mind getting to see her cuz its been over a year#but unexpected changes 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#theyre great arent they 🙃🙃🙃🙃#idk why shes suddenly coming up to visit#she hasnt texted me about it at all#my moms a lil upset cuz she took thursday friday and monday off for her birthday and now she has to spend her bday#cleaning her office and setting it up for my cousin to sleep in (im gonna help)#but like. mom. you couldve said no.#there are other relatives she could stay with#idk maybe im just a bitch but if someone randomly asked to interrupt my vacation i would simply say no#that being said it would be nice to get to hang out with her without her creepy ass grandpa hanging around and eavesdropping#like i doubt theyre still monitoring her phone since i dont think she lives with them anymore#but its hard to get past that paranoia that people are monitoring our conversations when we text when i know its happened before#so we dont text each other mucj#and i cant fully relax when we do#its not like im saying anything bad or inappropriate or whatever but i still dont need some rich oil company catholic#reading over all my texts
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Thinking abt how jack was another name for/derived from john so Jackson's first name is essentially the same as Alex's last name lol
#was daydreaming abt jackson explaining why he changed his name and remembered his deadname is arabic for john - not jackson#BUT jackson is still associated because jackson means son of john because jack was just another version of the name john#and what drives me insane is that i forgot to write that in 🙃#half of me wanting to rewrite this book is to tidy up parts that are messy#and the other half is just me wanting to put in things that i fucking left out because i forgot the audience doesn't live in my brain#happy's babblings
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It is officially time to set up a new bank account!
#I am so fucking stupid and I am so fucking mad#I’m still using the first bank account I ever made. which my mother has access to….#it’s never been an issue before she’s never looked at it#well 🙃#apparently that has changed now#and she just started messaging me about how I needed to be more responsible with my money because she didn’t like how I was spending it#I’m going to fucking hit her with my car I swear to Christ#I’m actually v good with my money for one#I literally always pay bills on time AND put portions of my paycheck into savings#but I set everything up so I’d have a whole paycheck to spend at the con#and apparently she’s been stalking my accounts and did not like that#fUCK#like that makes me so fucking pissed!!!!!!#I’m a grown ass adult and what I do with my money is none of your damn business#and now she’s acting like IM being an asshole because I’m like ‘why the fuck are you even looking’#I can’t stand this woman so much it is FUCKING unreal#but now at least I’m finally motivated enough to actually make an account#I really should have done it forever ago and I feel stupid for not….#it’s just. ugh. UGH! I shouldn’t have to because she’s an obsessive control freak!!!!#you shouldn’t be stalking your kids financial information!#ESPECIALLY when I’ve never been in any kind of financial trouble before#kaz rambles
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Idk man maybe if you're only defense as to why something isn't racist is "some people that aren't part of the minority group that it's being racist towards are racist towards me so it means it's okay" maybe. you aren't the correct person to answer the question that is being asked
#these recent posts kinda seem like im encountering some of the worst people huh#well. youd be correct#this also one of those 'everyones a Little racist (so we never have to unlearn not to be)' types so.#for a slight bit of context the writer of this novel seemed to have a hypocritical stance of imperialism = bad (but not when the mcs do it)#and someone (who is of the same race but not the same nationality) was asking if this changed#the comments. were as expected#one even claimed to have a major in economics and that. racism somehow was not intertwined with colonialism.#the book was partially telling a 'what if' scenario of if they stopped colonization in their country#while. also bulldozing over the fact they were colonizing a group simply called 'the barbarian tribe' 🙃#my own answer to the question is longer but to simplify: its written from a colonizers pov (and thats kind of the point)#the mcs are literally big names in the country (one literally being the prince later ruler and the other a marquis/general)#the prince is also mixed (mom was from the tribe)#and he winds up helping the tribe (but its still. colonizer talking points for why they Should be colonized)#but. the funny thing is about this is that the author even said this isnt her best work and she would/will make it different#and the author also has a tendency to write about characters and plots and themes that are different than her others#one of them completely disregards any nation even similar to this one
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