#why can't i be normal

[hyperfixiation-station]

Alpha!Ghost with an Omega!reader that is captured by enemy forces and goes through their heat alone and in confinement???? And Ghost finds them after they're finished??? And you're too weak to even move??? Sorry just and this thought and i wish i didn't have to write it and it was already there for me to read asdfghjk

[rosenkranz-does-things]

have a wip of a comic that i turned into a full blown painting as is my wont

[doodoobirds]

My friend gonna be mad ASF at me

[merryslilhobbit]

I hate that the probable ADHD I have means I overthink everything. Was off work today but checked email this morning and discovered I need to make a Phone Call tomorrow, that will basically be someone ranting at me about allegedly being a horrible mean bitch. So I have spent All Day thinking about this, preparing for what's coming, anxiety ruining my appetite & probably my sleep when I go to bed.

I try to distract myself but it doesn't help. I try to just accept there'll be a difference of opinions and get over it, the world will keep spinning. Also not working.

Fucking hate my brain.

[fedorah-the-explorah]

someone who isn't me should put carmen through horrible agony ❤️

[kairithemang0]

I've got jealousy so bad it makes me feel physically sick I want what others have but still crave individuality, I don't know how to stand up for myself or even start a conversation, meanwhile I have so much to say to the people I desire to know but I hold my tongue because getting left behind is terrifying, meanwhile my lack of ability to reach out is causing me to be left in the dust. From a young age I could never talk to people, I was explosive and angry and didn't know how to process my feelings and I still don't, I'm just better at hiding it now. I get it my own head and I feel like my body can't take it, I crave attention because if I beg maybe people will throw me a bone and talk to me, but I don't know how to start a conversation for myself. I fail my classes because going up to a teacher and asking for help makes me want to vomit, so I let myself fail and drown in my own failures as a human until I hit my breaking point. I feel like I'm drowning in anxiety and shame because all the people around me are so successful and amazing, and I feel like such a failure of a person because I can never be as good as them. I'm neurodivergent and queer, I'm an attention seeker and alone, I was born wrong and I can't fix myself and I crave validation from people who can't give me what I need. I don't even know what I need anymore. Love? Affection? Someone to just give me a pat on the back and tell me I'm doing a good job? To feel seen for even just a moment for what I am instead of what I'm not? I don't know, I really don't. And maybe I'll never know, maybe I don't deserve to know.

[artemistorm]

Why are interpersonal relations so hard?

[neptunetiger33366]

Y'all, I literally just can not. Why is this man so damn PRETTY?! I love him so much, this can't be real. Holy Hylia who let him be made? I've been replaying TotK on a new save and I... Fuck, he's just so pretty and cute and handsome all at the same time. I want to give him a hug and run my hands through his hair. UGH! I want, no, I NEED him to look at me the way he looks at food!

LOOK AT HIM! He is so cute and happy and it's all over FOOD! He's so precious and I love him so much. Like, I need him in a way that goes against feminism and I'm not even a girl! It's not even sexual desire (okay, it partially is, but that's not all it is). My demi ass wants him to love me. Not lust, love. I want him to want to hug and comfort me as much as I want to do those things to him. And I know he's NOT REAL, I know that. But I want him to be. Fuck, I'd give just about anything to have the opportunity to hold Link.

I want so desperately to hug him, run my fingers through his hair, rub his back soothingly, and tell him that it's all okay. That he's a good hero and none of the pain his era has been through is his fault. I want to let him cry into my shoulder as I tell him that he didn't fail Hyrule, didn't fail the Champions, didn't fail Zelda. I want to press soft kisses into his forehead or on the top of his head as I gently wipe away his tears and tell him I'm proud of him, that he should be proud of himself. Tell him that I love him. Hear him whisper back in a shaky voice that he loves me too. For him to fall asleep in my arms, use me as a pillow after being exhausted by his emotional burst. For him to smile in his sleep as he slips into a happy dream, making him snuggle closer to me. I want to fall asleep in each other's arms, unwilling to separate even in sleep.

I want to wake up to him whispering my name, rubbing my arm and shoulder to stir me from rest. Want to huff irritable and burry my head under a pillow and pretend to still be asleep, just to hear his beautiful laugh as he pulls the pillow away. To feel his soft lips kiss my skin as he pulls me into his arms, coaxing me awake with promises of a delicious breakfast he's made for us.

He's so soft looking. I want to run my hands all over his body. Find every scar he has and kiss them all. I don't even care about hair or anything to do with that! But I want to sit with him at my feet as I clean, brush, and play with his hair, just listening to him talk about fond memories from his journeys. I want to hear about all the cool bugs he's found, all the amazing sights he's seen, and all the people he's met. I want him to pretend to pout and be upset when I find a particularly bad tangle, just for me to kiss the top of his head or his cheek in apology, turning him into a blushing mess. He can't keep up the angry act and melts against my legs, refusing to lift his head to let me finish brushing until I coax him up with promises of cuddles and kisses.

I want to visit a hot spring with him. Soak in the hot, healing water with our bodies pressed together. For there be nothing between us. To be as undressed as we'd dare be in a public spring and cuddling shamelessly. I'm in his arms as he holds me to keep my anxiety at bay. His soft whispers promise that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. That he loves me for me, transness and all. That so long as he's there, nobody will dare hurt or judge me. For me to be half asleep, head on his shoulder, and to whisper back that I promise to protect him too. That even if I can't fight and protect him physically like he can me, I can protect him emotionally and mentally.

I'm scared of heights, but I want to sit with him on a Sky Island he swears has the best view in Hyrule and watch the sunrise. To sit on the beach with a picnic and watch the sunset. To lay down together and stare up at the night sky. For him to point at different stars and constellations, tell me all he's learned about them. To sit together bare footed at the water's edge, letting the waves tickle our feet as we talk about the sort of deep topics that only feel appropriate to discuss at night. Life, love, the universe. The meaning of it all. For me to make a bad joke to calm my anxiety brought on by the existentialism, just for him to laugh. To ask why I keep bringing such topics if they always end up upsetting me. I get defensive and pout about it. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and kisses my cheek. Tells me he loves me. I tell him the same and we share a kiss. I make a dumb joke about Hylia watching and he playfully smacks my shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt, because he'd never hurt me. He tells me that I'm the only "divine being" he needs, which makes me laugh and roll my eyes. I make a self deprecating joke, to which he scolds me gently. His beautiful blue eyes gleam in the starlight, making it impossible for me to argue. So I just apologize thoughtlessly as I gaze into them. He doesn't mind. I lean in to kiss him again. He does too. We kiss passionately, and all is perfect.

FUCK, now I want to write actual pieces about this. Maybe do a series of short stories with scenes like these. Upload them here from time to time. That'd be nice. Might help with the feelings. No promises, but I've already given myself several starting points. Maybe I'll even do shit in Gacha once I get into posing properly. That'd be nice. Think I'mma stop yearning here and put that energy into something else. Good on me. Or, well, I'll do that tomorrow. I should probably go to bed. Goodnight Tumblr.

[the-riddler-that-can-riddle]

Oh... What do you guys want from me...? It's been just about a week since I was finally able to finish days of my hard work and time... I've had a shitty week, to put it simply... I've been continuously mocked for my entire life, but it started getting really bad lately... I'm trying to learn how to use my longboard but assholes from school literally threw me off of it and mocked me because it was too big for me and it was a hand-me-down... There were what I could only assume were adults there not even a few feet away, they just didn't care that the freak of the town was being rejected from the only place they actually cared about visiting that day after their D&D session ended after school... It's the only place I felt relatively safe and now that's even ruined for me... I just want some kind of validation... Something to tell me I'm not some freak or that I'm not the only one who has been through this... I just want to be happy, but the whole fucking world seems against me for no good reason... Typing this at one in the morning while in a closet feels so fucking pathetic right now.... I literally avoided going to school the other day just to avoid those assholes the day after it happened...

[the-vanir-queen]

When your trauma hits up your mental health like that fuckboi at 3 am

"wyd"

[purplemarcell]

when you have two very different styles....

i'm a victim of not having a consistent art style, sometimes i return to my painting like drawing, and honestly, i think it looks better everytime. i have been thinking of using that style for a while now. but it just so crazy to think how can an art change with a simple behavior change. btw, this is my altmer oc, atrikus. :3

[cherryblossomforest]

I always have to take a minute to assess my life after Amara has been around. Especially after a night of drinking where she purposely only drinks to make us feel like shit. Compassion. Compassion. Compassion.

Inhale...

Exhale...

I do want to live.

I do want to live.

I do want to live.

Accurate gif of me this morning. I am so hungover and my throat hurts from being sick. My body hurts and I want to cry because I just got out of a Fibromyalgia flare-up.

This is what happens when I'm not around for two days. Okay. Got it.

- Rue

[christinem999]

guys the morbid jealousy is acting up again

[4rtsymugzzz]

i hate everything about me.

[chickensoup1025]

ARFID is a bitch >:(

[stroyent]

I hate that I'm still awake but the world is too interesting to sleep 😭