#why can’t i remember his name??
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You gave those wounds to your god, Enki. Did you think they would heal so easily?
(Uh Oh! Someone gave the priest catholic guilt!)
#fear and hunger#enki ankarian#fear and hunger enki#funger#digital art#csp#illustration#my art#pixel art#enki#hiiiiiiiiiiii so fear and hunger is great!#played it for 4 hours last night for the first time and I love it 🥰 I’ve made a half hours progress lol#I keep losing the save coin tosses#I can’t believe this is what it took to make my art brain turn back on smh it’s patho all over again 🤣#not surprisingly enki is my fav immediately a sickly rude wizard priest? yeah that’s my number lol#fun fact I edited a wiki for the first time while making this#his page didn’t have his crucifixion dialogue and I couldn’t find a transcript anywhere#so I had to go find a video with the scene so I could transcribe it myself#and I was so annoyed by the end I added it to the wiki 😂 hopefully I did it right I copied the format of the rest of the page#(note that I didn’t even own the game at this point akkajdksdj)#also! this is partially based on a fic I read! it got me thinking about how he’s walking around w stigmata#also part of why I even knew there was crucifixtion dialogue#I’ll link it in a reblog I don’t remember the name rn#oh wait should I tag this for blood? idk#tw blood#insects
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Sometimes (especially when I was younger) I would wish that I could just drop all my emotions in someone else’s head so that they could sort out what I was feeling for me or tell me what was happening in there.
Anyway I think Jon could probably benefit from a romantic partner who can do that for him (or at least might find it appealing) which is yet another reason why Jonelias is so viable I think.
#bonus points for when elias inevitably takes advantage of this to manipulate jon#Elias voice: yes jonathan you can trust me to tell you exactly what you’re feeling and why. don’t worry about it#there’s also toxicity the other way around if you want#‘I feel hurt because of you and I want you to experience the pain you caused in excruciating detail’#elias manipulates jon. jon suffers. jon projects his suffering into elias’ mind as a weapon to hurt him back. repeat.#a constant cycle of suffering for all <3#jonelias#sparky projects onto jon for fun and profit#there’s this one fantastic fic that brushes in this concept#can’t remember the name or author but it was a s5 panopticon fic#where elias talked about skimming jon’s thoughts#something like ‘don’t pretend it’s not a relief’#and I felt Seen
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TTGFHs as an allegory for colonisers and their actions—almost ALL their actions—as an allegory for colonisation in its many facets?
“More likely than you’d think” doesn’t BEGIN to cover it.
#the ten great family heads#tower of god#tower of god spoilers#spoilers#as always just in case#tell me the hunting down of the ancients or the drawn out war against the 5 flower kingdoms + tower natives isn’t ethnic cleansing#tell me what the Yeon family was doing with Zygenia isn’t stripping a place of its resources and keeping it poor#and Traumerai… ooohhhh when I catch that man#the whole ‘Jahad’s Princess’ thing also reminds me a lot of a certain practice I can’t quite remember the name of#Blood dilution maybe? idk#also the workshop is definitely counted in this cause what the actual fuck in unethical#also just different types of power dynamics generally#like the Khun family reminds me of certain polygamous families I know and know of#to a more extreme degree#the manufactured competition between the Princesses of Jahad as well#whatever the fuck Bloodmadder has going on with his conditional immortality#why is majority of this post in the tags?
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God Wulf cannot get a break he’s just doomed to be the sole survivor of horrific events again and again
#regny… i thought she’d live too :(#and i now see why thrit sauma and khris or whatever were sent away… i kinda was worried they were being sent to their off-page deaths but#it’s the other way around… she still wants them alive#*karlsten. can’t be assed to remember his name lmao#a day of fallen night
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people think the theories are getting too crazy well I don’t think we’re getting crazy enough. we need weirder shit. Armand wasn’t Alice. Louis was Alice. how does that work? it doesn’t. but it’s only Tuesday and I can’t day drink rn so we’re gonna work with this until the weekend
#I just think that Luke and Jacob’s comments in interviews have me 👀👀👀#‘there was more there’ WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHY WOULD YOU GET IN TROUBLE MR ANDERSON. HUH?#also in this crack theory Armand definitely wiped both of their minds which is sooo funny to me#Daniel: I had a wife named Alice and she was beautiful and lovely and if she called I’d go to her instantly#Louis who has no clue he was Alice: wow man. that’s crazy. have I mentioned how badly I get attached to my exes and miss them after decades?#Armand dressed up in his slutty Rashid maid cosplay: let’s stop talking about the past during this interview about the past shall we?#I can make this weirder actually hold on uhhhhhg#Armand and Louis were BOTH Alice they took it in turns. it’s why Daniel can’t remember her properly#she’s an amalgamation she’s a mix#still Armand did mind wipe them it’s very funny to me that he encounters one issue and is like ‘…I gotta delete all the data right now’#idk I’m bored lmao#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester#Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
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at some point i am going to have to force even to go back and deal with donna & tentoo & rose & all and everything they ran away from. and that will probably involve them losing tentoo’s chameleon arch watch by giving it back to its rightful owner, whether she chooses to open it or not. and that is. not going to be a very fun or stable time for them.
#this part is v vague and fuzzy because i want to watch the rest of 12 & 13 and finish the doctor/donna specials before i set anything in#stone about it. but i think i need to rearrange some things in the timeline here vis a vis when the doctor is also forced to go back and#deal with his baggage.#i dont think 14 exists in even’s universe for this reason. and for the reason of tentoo kind of taking on his role? the human part of the#doctor who can stay with donna & with rose.#she’s also trans to me because i love trans!tentoo. her name is johanna. i think it’s pretty. i make a singular exception to my rule of#never changing characters names when i trans them.#but i think. what im getting at here is that this cant be a happy ending. not so cleanly. its more bittersweet.#like i think this version of the story. what i have so far. donna does remember. (tentoo doesn’t but that’s because she’s become her own#person. the doctor is who she came from but she isn’t just the doctor anymore.) and rose knows her doctor is out there and loves her but#she has her wife at home.#and even. oh even. you can’t hold onto a heart that’s not yours forever. you have to give it back.#this. i think. is a moment of respite and recovery for the doctor. and a really really low point for even. however this works out.#its not perfect but there’s kindness in it. and there’s a home to go back to. if they can bear it. both of them.#but like i said. this is all preliminary based on what i might play around with here. and how watching more of the show changes my ideas.#but i think. whatever revelations come in 13’s arc. i think in even’s universe they have to come after donna. i’ll find a way to make it#work.#but mostly right now the important thing is forcing even to give up the watch because why would i let them have one single comfort object <3#dw oc
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Recently I’ve been wondering what happened to David. He’s the guy who actually held Ponyboy’s head down in that water (albeit on Bob’s orders) and would’ve had that death on his hands had it happened, which it almost did. And yet he literally never appears again ever in the story. Not even at the courthouse
#you could make it a class thing about how they came after Johnny and pony legally but even after acquittal under self defense they#do nothing about the people they were self defending against#and that is probably why they don’t face consequences on a watsonian level#but on a doylist level there’s like five of them and only two of them are at all narratively significant despite one of them almost becoming#a murderer that day#…hang on that line kind of fucks. maybe a backup backup for outsiders week will be a short spotlight on Kevin of all people#edit okay his name is David. not Kevin. see he’s so irrelevant I can’t even remember his name#the outsiders#og#david the outsiders
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✨Gabe Symbolism✨
#Elena of Avalor#Gabriel Nunez#Gabe Nunez#My edit#I was looking through my Tumblr drafts and came across this thing#I don’t know why I never posted it but I’m doing it now#It looks pretty actually#Unrelated but I’m now thinking of making a personality (?) aesthetic for Gabe#aka his Zodiac Sign MBTI type enneagram type and other stuff like this#Or/and I’ll make a MBTI gifset illustrating Gabe’s cognitive functions because you can’t imagine how often I think about it#I’m not sure how to make it though but I’ll try#Akajdkfkf this is such a self-indulgent thing honestly :’D#But I love Gabe and I love MBTI so nobody can stop me#Oh and I’ll make some notes regarding the things I’ve chosen for Gabe#because my mind is still fresh even though I don’t remember when I made it#His surname has several meanings one of them is ‘son of Nuno’ (duh) another ones are ‘grandfather’ ‘ninth’ and ‘squire’#(those are meanings of the name Nuno)#Squire doesn’t seem like the most popular meaning but I’ve chosen it either way because this one is the most fitting to Gabe#When it comes to animals there are several ones that would fit him like a dog or a lion but well a bear seems to be fitting too#Not because he’s a cute teddy bear pls don’t traumatize me by saying it#Y’all will probably kick me for choosing the blue color for Gabe because this is way too obvious but tbf it actually fits him#And brown does too#He’s like a stoic cliff by the wavy sea#As for stones don’t even ask me it’s hard finding their meanings#Oh and back to animals for a moment I thought of replacing it with a deer because of the leaping stag move#But a deer doesn’t fit (spiritually) him that much sadly#Also if you read my Gabe fic you should know that a deer is a symbol of Gabe’s patrol not without a reason hehe
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Xenoblade 1 is the best game like ever fucking made and it has two of the most dogshit sequels ever fucking made
#meows#remembering just how insulted I felt in 2017 when I preordered the sequel and really really tried to like it#I hadn’t experienced Game I Don’t Like before 2 and it took me like 40 hours to realize I hated it#and that shit at the end is such an INSULT. such an insult#you’re telling me that [redacted] was actually only half of himself the whole time and that 1 and 2 are taking place at the same time???#and that oh actually [expunged] is one of three computers when the first game made no mention of any of that#y’all really went back to say your complete first game actually is only HaLf of the story? that someone like [expunged] is only a third of#the force that ended our planet#y’all went back and hollowed out your existing characters to make room for worse versions of the same characters#AND you play as a dork nerd child who ends the game with three gfs bc this is story#and the gfs do nothing but sacrifice themselves for you like three times and look pretty#but they don’t look pretty to like. normal well adjusted people#they look pretty to the I like questionable art of 17 year olds crowd#and the GALL. the GALL. of changing [expunged]s design in the switch port to try to stitch his afterthought purpose into the old game#while also making him just whiter and whiter until by 3 he’s like fucking light grey#and having him have a canon genderbend that’s just anime waif#who is also fucking white#and giving Klaus’ counterpart a name that has nothing to do with Gnosticism#even though so much other stuff in the first game comes from Gnosticism.#who the FUCK is Galea!!!! her name is fucking Sophia#killing biting maiming#and the gacha system? with bad odds for no reason in a game you’ve already paid for#it’s so fucking messy#it lacks a unified art direction#it’s soulless and even a game like 3 where only HALF of it is 2 flavored can’t beat the original because of the portion of 2 in it#and like what. is it like the two universes reunited after [redacted] died🙃#why did any of this need to exist! why did any of this have to be retconned#x is fine I don’t hate x and I don’t count it as a sequel to Xenoblade 1 bc there’s no#half assed tie back to 1 in x#2 and 3 would have been better as like. tales of games
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how i’m holding up after watching the beginning of the end for the first time and seeing discord’s speech to twilight
#sid speaks#horseposting#twicord#they’re so. hrrrgghh#the evolution of their relationship over the course of the series is so gorgeous#you can see her getting more comfortable with him & ribbing him back#because she’s come to understand discord being annoying is just his love language#and he respects her. he wants to succeed.#can’t remember the name of the ep that came after that with him in it but when he called her ‘your majesty’#i legitimately almost started crying LMAO#why does nobody talk about twicord. oh my god they make my heart ache#HIS SUPPOSED SACRIFICE FOR HER MADE HER BRAVE. POUNDS MY FISTS ON THE FLOOR.
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Can’t tell if it was somehow Gabriel that performed the miracle or ex-archangel Crowley is being hinted at
#good omens spoilers#good omens series 2#good omens#b/c when Crowley asked why the miracle couldn’t have been his#the other demon#who’s name I can’t remember#didn’t answer
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The thing with dementia is fuck Nickolas Sparks
#the notebook#nickolas sparks#i kinda hate this movie#My grandpa died with dementia and it was terrible#You can’t just take an existing disease and twist it to make it sexy#beside the fact that Ryan and Rachel’s characters (idk their names anymore) are in one of the most toxic relationships ever#that’s not how dementia works at all though#you remember your oldest memories#From when you were young but not new memories#(for the most part)#why didn’t he just make up a fake disease for his stupid book?
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I hope wherever he moves to next year fucking sucks. I can’t wait to not have to see his fucking face all over omfg
#Sometimes I feel like “why does everyone I love turn out to fucking suck” and the I remember how much of a fucking BITCH he was#He went from calling me pet names and caring to being fucking obsessed to hating me and being in love with someone else#Fuck him fuck his entire life k hope he dies#(Okay the last part is a bit aggressive. I just have a lot of anger that I can’t take out atm)#Happy Thursday I will be hoping for the rest of my life that his life SUCKS#Vent
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Riddle is so cute btw. He is looking at his besties Trey and Cater and going “BEHAVE YOURSELVES😠‼️‼️‼️ also I love you 😊”
#from caters scalding sands event card story#I keep forgetting it’s called firelit sky in engtwst lol#grips you by the shoulders so tightly. riddle is a good boy who loves his friends.#heartslabyul is a pack and they love each other so so so much#Ace and juice are so cute in this scene lol#‘wtf why do you get to go I wanna go!!! 😠😠😠’#‘we will bring you objects and things’ ‘okay 🥰🥰🥰’ SILLY BABIES#love throat Ace in particular is such a complainer lol#throat??? I meant that* I love that Ace complains. autocorrect hates my ass#complains about trey and cay going to scalding sands or whatever#complains about deuce getting to go to flower town or whatever in masquerade#(grim said ‘I wanna go to flower town or whatever’ in engtwst and now I can’t remember its actual name)#complains offscreen about juice and the others going to clocktown w/o him bc he has basketball#cranky little BABY wants to go on vacation forever#sorry I love heartslabyul more than anything. as if it’s my fault.#my very biased son feelings LOL#I’m wearing my riddle union jacket today it’s been perfect weather for it#cozy as hell brother
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just remembered how in the sixth grade there was a fucking riot in the cafeteria that ended in the entire grade getting silent lunch for like 3 months
#I think it was 3 months but it felt a lot longer. my god middle school was the school to prison pipeline at its finest#on one hand I think its unfair that we were all punished but to be fair the entire grade participated in this riot. I don't even remember#what we were rioting? I just remember a girl named whitney was involved and 1 thing led to another and whitney ran out of the cafeteria#and THE ENTIRE GRADE WENT AFTER HER 😭. myself included I didn’t even know why either but WE WERE AFTER THAT BITCH 😭#it was so bad I remember everyone was heading one direction and then everyone started running back the other direction.#and I got knocked down in the process looking back this was really dangerous. but after that we got silent lunch for what felt like forever#like not only were we forced to sit with our homerooms (and some us didn’t even like our homeroom) but we couldn’t even talk to each other#which is honestly not good for socialization?? but again I can’t entirely blame them cause the situation was out of control.#but also shouldn’t the adults have had that thing under control??? anyways the person who ran silent lunch was the vice tyrant dr levine#he fucking hated us like that man was PISSED OFF and he made it clear cause if you made a sound during silent lunch#that man was gonna threaten you with detention extended detention ISS (aka in school suspension)#he didn’t even mean it but it was pretty good for instilling fear in us good kids. but one time I remember there was a kid who didn’t buy i#he didn’t give into levine’s fear tactic and levine started yelling “ISS!! OSS!! EXPULSION!!!!!” like calm down#I feel bad thinking about how so many kids who would ACCIDENTALLY make a sound were punished. and they were so damn terrified#cause it was like you were on your best behavior all of the time and then one noise and suddenly you had an out of school suspension#one time a boy named jc’s phone went off and he picked it up and it was his grandma asking him if he wanted ice cream 😭 no fucks given#and levine was screaming at him to hang up the phone and jc was like “this is my grandmother I can’t hang up"#and there came a time where we were finally off the hook and I just remember people in the cafeteria were clapping 😭#like this was school sanctioned oppression and we were finally liberated... but then we were back to silent lunch and I don’t even know why#I remember once even I ended up in Levine’s office but I dont think its cause I was talking during silent lunch??#I think it had something to do with bullying idk?? I just remember levine had my back during it and made the other kid cry and apologize#so shout out to levine. always good times goodbye!
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