#why can I never achieve a somewhat balanced relaxed state of mind?

[miss-shirley]

The Stress is Stressing™. I have approximately 1,000,000 things to do until school starts back up in a week but simultaneously no time or energy to get things done despite already having five weeks of holiday behind me (anyone else for overbooking free time because you wanna do all the things with a tiny side of fomo and people pleasing??).

I meant to start this new school year on such a relaxed, put together note and it currently does not feel like it will be that, yet.

[asturlavi]

oh boy, do i have wonderful beast oda/odazai info for you all since this may just be my favorite chapter in all of beast. it clarified a lot about oda's state in this au, and how sad it truly is, especially with all that dazai has done to ensure that oda's safety is certain

before i start, this was initially intended to be a quirky little twitter thread that’s supposed to be kicked off with a badly drawn doodle of something meme. the thread was supposed to be about how wonderfully dumb odasaku can be and how annoyingly frustrating dazai is in the latest beast chapter... and then it slowly devolved into a crudely written essay about small discoveries i’ve made that most likely haven’t been pointed out before, so i recommend that anyone interested in either oda or odazai to check this out 

so i finally got around to reading the new beast chapter and seeing how odasaku constantly devalues himself and finds that he's lesser than the average person is… sad. its been said that him and ranpo are the stars of the ada, every mission trivial with their cooperation, and yet he doesn't see any of that. thinks he struck luck when it came to his entrance exam, which he specifies that it wasn't as a result of his own skills. his inferiority complex is embedded so deep that despite his achievements, he doesn't at all believe he has any worth as a human.

i'm just a tired, ordinary man like you could find anywhere. a third-rate detective, as unexceptional as a fallen cigarette butt on the road.

and his entrance exam was just like dazai's: the azure messenger case, which we all know wasn't at all a walk in the park. one mistake, and it would spell disaster for the city that the ada was trying to protect. no--not just the city, it would also mean the end of the ada as we know it. despite it all, he resolved it much to his own surprise, and it was all thanks to an "unexpected" gift. and that gift? who would it be other than from dazai himself? 

beast light novel ch. 3

(also, this is a shaky claim at best but I feel as if oda fully holds the capabilities to solve the case alone, but dazai knew that with odasaku's persistent feelings of self-doubt, along with his lack of some of the vivacity that dazai held to weasel his way through to information, the outcome of success wouldn’t be guaranteed. and so, dazai lent him something to ensure his success)

and yet, oda is blind to see truly how much intellect and skill he possesses. he doesn't realize how integral he was to the quest of the azure messenger, doesn't acknowledge that without him these orphans would have either slipped into a life of crime, gone to a downtrodden orphanage, or simply passed away, and he doesn't know that despite it all, he's one of the purest characters in the story, even with the darkness that will forever cling to him, a reminder of the violence that marred his past.

not to mention that oda, in one way or another, effectively analyzed the current situation that they're stuck in. he noted that if things currently go the way they're going, no matter what akutagawa achieves, him and his sister are doomed. so, oda brilliantly decided to go after the port mafia itself to prepare for this possibility, and it's nothing short of genius. and dazai plays along with this… because it is oda, after all. 

and everything dazai did, everything he sacrificed, it was all for oda.

now to the underlying tragedy of this chapter. take a look at this panel: 

ever since then, i've been making a living by solving requests that come to the detective agency.

i provide for the orphans

i drink coffee.

i gamble a bit on days off.

at night, i write a novel in the kitchen. 

that's my life.

nothing unusual, right? you'd think that odasaku was satisfied with life, since he has everything he had ever wished for. but in all actuality, he still lacks one important thing.

and that's friendship.

his words sounded so… empty. achieving ones dreams is but one aspect of life that brings one gratification, but doesn't necessarily mean it would guarantee lasting happiness. (think of famous actors or celebrities that spiral into depression even after they've achieved their dreams).

in that panel, he says he cares for the orphans, gambles, and writes alone in his spare time, but not a word of spending time with friends… something he had in the root universe, something that was lost to him in this one.

and he says this all with his face blacked out, as if he's somewhat implicitly dissatisfied (while the kid's faces are present, not at all concealed).

with dazai, he found peace in a place where peace is rare to find. They both completely put their guard down with each other around, and dazai can relax his overly speculative mind with oda. and they understood each other, a level of understanding rare to come by. dazai with his dark jokes easily flies past oda's ears because that's what they are, harmless jokes. and oda with his blunt honesty, which dazai cherishes and never prods him for it.

dazai also saw things in oda that oda was blind to. dazai saw a world of beauty in oda, the ray of light beneath a cloudy sky. he saw both intelligence and wisdom, kindness and generosity. and most of all, he trusted oda, despite dazai’s natural inclination to distrust.

and what oda saw in dazai was vulnerability. despite the front that dazai puts, he can be kind, even empathetic, when the situation calls for it. dazai once gave akutagawa a decision to turn his back against dazai’s offer to join the port mafia, when logic points to the fact that he didn't have to, but wanted to.

dazai also consistently gives atsushi words of advice and shows understanding when dazai was under no obligation to, such as atsushi facing the loss of his previous caretaker. dazai gave atsushi genuine advice, not laced with any malice or ill intent. dazai had even left atsushi to grieve alone, fully understanding that atsushi needed to pour his emotions out in private. there’s more than enough instances of dazai showing this side of himself in both the light novels and manga, but it seems to sometimes be brushed aside. even though the main cast of characters always dismissed this side of dazai, oda has always known that this side of dazai was his truest self.

oda and dazai also talked endlessly about trivial things, calling each other daily for two hours for no reason other than that they each enjoy one another's company. it's pure, wholesome love. they had a mutual trust and understanding between one another, which ango, another friend of theirs, severely lacked in his friendship with them.

oda's dream was to write, gone unfulfilled in the root universe, but he died happily knowing that the one he cares for is living in the path of light. dazai's was to find a reason to live, which he found in oda, and continues to use this as motivation long after oda passed.

in beast, dazai's dream was cut short, ultimately leading to his demise at the end. after all, his one reason to live is now robbed from him. however, oda's dreams have become a reality, but can one really say he achieved happiness? he has the orphans, his children, but they will never understand him like dazai had. he has peace, but is it the form of peace he wanted? spending time alone, on things like gambling, while endlessly mulling how he has no one to spend this time with?

and writing, his one true wish that dazai made absolutely sure to make a reality. but was it worth it, at the cost of a friend who brought happiness and reprieve when everyone else failed to?

i thought of this tale as a matter of equivalent exchange, you lose one life in exchange for another. the scales do remain somewhat balanced, but not over a matter of lives. it's over a matter of personal sacrifices, ones only known to us readers.

and i say "somewhat" because in the root universe, dazai remembered oda when he was alive, so well that dazai can recall memories to near perfection. but oda had completely forgotten dazai in beast, chasing after absent memories and deluding himself into thinking his life is perfect, while numbing himself from the aching hole of loneliness that consumes him inside.

also, oda is surely happy spending time with the children, but what about his lonesome hours? who is he going to spend that time with, in a world without dazai, the only person who understood him and his oddities?

ah, and remember this moment in the root universe? 

now, take a look at this again. no, look closer 

odasaku wasn’t merely gambling for the sake of it, he was gambling on a horse race. and before dazai was arrested in the root universe, he was seen doing just that. 

now, why would odasaku do this? he surely doesn’t seem the type to gamble away his money on something as silly as horse races, because what does someone gain while they pour their money into something so senseless? 

and the only reason i could arrive to is that dazai must have dragged him along to one. dazai is a port mafia executive, with more money than he knows what to do with and a boatload of depression. money probably disinterests him as much as life does, and he used gambling to kill two birds with one stone: ridding of money he doesn’t need, and distracting him from his boredom (and depression). 

and it doesn’t end there. remember when dazai in dead apple had visited bar lupin to pay his regards to odasaku, while reliving a pleasant memory dazai had with him? and he did this because he was preparing for a quest that may result in with the loss of his life, psyching himself up for what’s to come. this is probably bordering on speculation, but i believe that that’s precisely what he did once again in the horse races. dazai paid a visit to a place that oda and him had frequented, to prepare for another dangerous quest. 

also, note that immediately after exiting bar lupin in dead apple, dazai was confronted by ango, which kicked off the start of dazai’s plans. a similar thing happens in the manga, dazai spending time in a place that he and oda had gone to, this time the horse races, and his plan whirls into motion as jono arrests him. i think these similarities are deliberate, in order to establish their significance to dazai and oda. 

this long winded explanation’s purpose was only for me to go back to this panel once again, and say that everything oda spoke about doing, from spending time with his kids, to brewing coffee, to betting on horse races, and to writing in the kitchen, were all moments he had with dazai. 

and see that he has an extra chair that sits unused in the kitchen? at first, i thought it was there for the sake of being there. then, it slowly dawned on me that odasaku and dazai had noted in the dark era light novel that they made a habit of visiting each other, so it wouldn’t be illogical to conclude that it was a chair meant for dazai. a place where he can spend some private moments together with oda underneath the dimly lit kitchen, drinking in the scent of odasaku’s coffee and talking about things that distracts them from their troubles while odasaku whittles away at his manuscript. 

and one last thing before i end this out of sheer laziness, take a look at this photograph of oda from the final moments of the beast light novel.

as oda stated in the manga and light novel, he worked on his manuscript alone in the kitchen... but in the photograph, he wasn’t alone. he’s posing for a picture. relaxed, poised, as if entertaining the one taking the photo. and besides, wasn’t it dazai who insisted on taking photographs in bar lupin with ango and oda in dark era? he must have done the same in that very moment in the beast universe, but this time in anticipation of oda forgetting him. 

in the end, it seems oda and dazai left each other in similar ways, foolishly believing they've sacrificed their lives for each other to better the other's life, but all they did was create worlds where the feeling of happiness will be lost to both respective parties, while also resigning each other to a life of loneliness.

they've forgotten about their one happiness that stems from just being around one another, listening to the soothing tune of jazz playing softly as they talk into the night, the world lost to them as they're absorbed in one another's presence.

it seems like their story is a tragedy of what happens when you love someone too much, to the point that you delude yourself into thinking you're but a tool for their happiness, and with you gone, nothing will change.

but things did change, didn't they?

[kaamastr]

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[coeurdastronaute]

Either/Or: WWC 5

Previously on WWC

“Can we come here after the Cup? Take an actual vacation?” 

“I think I’d like that.” 

The chest pressed against her back reverberated with a chuckle. Lena dug her nose into the pillow and stretched her arms as a strong set of arms wrapped around as well, further pushing her into the bed. Kara’s thighs flexed as she adjusted her hips. Lips warmed the skin on shoulders and a breath cooled it immediately after. 

“Do you even know how?”

“I’m sure I could be taught. I’m a quick learner,” Lena promised. 

“Oh, I know it,” Kara promised, breathing deep from the nape of Lena’s neck and the messy bun that let strands fall from their evening activities. “You’re a very quick study in me. And quite good at letting me teach you all kinds of things.”

Lena shivered slightly at the scalding breath on her cheek as she closed her eyes and let Kara’s hips press into her own slowly, accenting her words and betraying her thoughts. 

“Where should we go on vacation?” 

“If I win, I’ll say Disney World.” 

“That’s so old hat.” 

“I love Disney!” 

“I bet,” Lena teased, earning a chuckle against her neck as she squirmed. “But there’s an entire world out there and we can go anywhere. Where would you take me to teach me how to vacation?” 

“Hmm…” 

Lena liked the feeling of Kara on top of her. She loved feeling squished into the bed. She loved the weight of her breathing, warm body, she loved being anchored, she loved Kara’s skin and her smell. She loved that Kara loved her back. 

“We should go somewhere with a beach. I love sunshine and you in a bikini would be a nice view.” 

“I burn so easily.” 

“I’ll lather you up and keep you in the shade. Do you know any nice beaches? And not places that would be convenient for you to work.” 

“Well, when you win, you’ll have lots of press and stuff to do, and then the season and more games. I don’t know when we’ll actually be able to go.” 

“We can find a week.” 

“Can we?” Lena asked with a sigh.

“This is lesson one: we will make time.” 

Outside of her window, the city was plodding along toward the end of the day. Kara was done with another game and preparing for her semi-finals in two days but they had now. While Lena took meetings and flew to London for two days after the quarter-finals, they still managed to be together as much as possible, and Lena craved being integral to Kara’s life. She was part of it all, and she still got these moments in her favorite bed in her favorite city with her favorite person. It was not lost on her that she now had a favorite person. 

“We could go somewhere on the Mediterranean?” 

“I’ve never been.” 

“Crystal blue waters and beautiful scenery.  Do you want to go somewhere private? 

“Do you want to take me somewhere private?” 

“I thought we’ve been over this?” 

“I’m your secret booty call, I know. But we can go anywhere as friends right?” 

“We could. But will you behave when I’m in that bikini I apparently have to wear?”

“Oh, you must,” Kara explained as she adjusted her legs and nuzzled her cheek against Lena’s shoulder. “It’s a requisite for a holiday. And I think we both know I am terrible at controlling myself. I mean. I asked my boss out.” 

“So somewhere private.” 

The soccer star smiled and nodded. 

“Maybe I can rent us a villa on an island. Just us on a private beach for a few days. Very limited cell reception and nothing to do.” 

“Mmm,” Kara hummed. “The perks of dating a CEO.” 

They were quiet as Kara let herself drift. Lena didn’t. She remained rooted there, refusing to do anything other than breathe in-time with her girlfriend. She felt Kara kiss her back, kiss her spine before sliding off and onto her side of the bed. In a few hours she’d have to go back to her hotel room, and Lena would feel this weird kind of ache, even though she was just on the other side of the city. It felt unfair, to have that when she appreciated the balance of time alone and time interrupted with the beautiful soccer player, but she did. She wanted to be close without touching sometimes. She wanted to be held and not touch. She wanted Kara close and she wanted space. Most importantly, she appreciated that Kara inherently understood and while it might not make sense to some, it made sense to each other. 

Lena turned her head and saw Kara’s smile as she kept her eyes closed. Her hair was messy and her lips were puffy. There was a little bit of bruising on her chin from an elbow in her game, and Lena ran her fingers along it anyway, wondering how much longer the yellowing would be there. 

“You’re quite beautiful,” she whispered, earning a bigger smile and blush as the soccer star began to protest. “I enjoy your smile. This smile. My smile. The post-sex, somewhat lazy and very relaxed smile.”

“I’m already naked in your bed, Ms. Luthor. You don’t have to butter me up.” 

“I’m merely stating more facts.”

Kara hummed and opened her eyes slightly, pale blue and impossible to ignore. Lena held the gaze as long as she could stomach it. There was something unsettling about such simple peace that she felt near Kara, that she wouldn’t explicitly let herself fully have. It was often overwhelming to find so much contentment sneaking into her life. 

“If you’re not careful, I’m going to fall in love with you, Lena,” Kara warned. 

“That’d be terrible.” 

“I know,” she pretended to be appalled at the idea, mocking Lena’s genuine concern for such a crazy notion. “Because then I’d have to sleep next to you every night. And I’d have to be okay with being less efficient in almost all aspects of my life because I know I’d get distracted just watching you do something around the house like scratch your neck as you read. And I’d have to hold you often, and remind you how wonderful you are. And I’d have to be someone you counted on and trusted and loved back. And why in the world would I want such a terrible sounding future?” 

As she rambled along, Lena let her fingertips move to eyebrows and to temple and to ear and to jaw and to neck until her palm was pressing against Kara’s chest, feeling the vibration of each word beneath her rib cage. 

“I don’t know if I can put you through it.” 

Kara chuckled in that maddening way she could, as if she was already dismissing anything Lena had to say against her ideas and she shook her head and sighed, slipping her arms around Lena’s hips, tugging her closer. She kissed her cheek and her chin and her forehead, lingering there as she took a deep breath. 

“One of these days, you are going to realize how easy it is to fall in love with you and how effortless it is to stay.”

Lena closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

“And hopefully one day, I’ll be someone you could fall in love with.” 

Instead of answer, Lena gripped at Kara’s neck and tucked her head under her chin, waiting for her to understand. 

XXXXXXXX

There was always pressure. That part never went away, but Kara always thought she could handle it. The stakes are always high. In high school, the state championship game was the end-all for her team. For a month she prepared and only thought of it.There were never going to be any bigger games in her entire life. And then she went to college, and the same thing happened. The stakes were the same to her. There would be no game that would ever complete. 

And then she made the national team. It seemed as if they were different galaxies, but deep down, Kara knew the pressure was the same. Win the game or disappoint many people. 

But regardless of the game, Kara played every second as if it were her last on earth. She was everywhere, doing her best to make something happen, though the score moved slowly. Tied at one, each team was fighting for glory while time was running out to achieve the goal. 

Kara lifted her shirt and wiped the sweat from her brow as the whistle blew a play dead and she moved to reset for the toss. 

The crowd was deafening, but she didn’t think about it. She didn’t even think about Lena watching her, as she sometimes did back home when she played. But this time was different-- her entire career leading up to the feeling of perfectly. 

The whistle blew as time began its march toward the final minute of regulation and Kara sprinted with the ball from a nice pass from a teammate, crossing over midfield with ease and making a defender earn it. 

From the box, Lena watched the entire game with bated breath, nervous at how it was going and unsure of how she could help. But she watched as Kara moved so gracefully, in complete control of her body down to the millimeter, that she juked past one defender and moved toward a second. As she easily outmaneuvered her, another defender came from behind, tangling with them so that they both went down hard, Kara rolling over herself onto the ground. Lena stood instantly, gasping and holding her breath as she waited for Kara to move. Her hands clenched into fists as she waited. 

For what felt like an eternity, Kara remained on the ground, holding her side and face. Her team circled while the medics appeared before she waved them off and stood on her own to the relief of the crowd and in particular a certain CEO. 

It took a few more moments for her to be cleaned up and cleared for the game as the ref raised an arm signaling a penalty shot. And just when Lena thought she could breathe again, she realized that wouldn’t work for her. She was going to pass out because her body wouldn’t let her breathe. Kara was hurt and preparing to take a penalty shot for the go ahead point in the finals of the World Cup. Nothing was okay and breathing was the last thing on her mind. 

Kara debated the kick in her head as the sides lined up and prepared. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it. This was the easiest part of her life. This was what she trained and prepared for all of her life. 

All of the eyes were on her. All of the pressure was on her shoulders. And most importantly, Kara remembered before she prepared to kick, Lena told her that she was going to be brilliant, and that was just a fact. 

While the world watched and the players set, despite the throbbing pain in her rib and the blood on her shirt and in her mouth, Kara wiped at her face again and smiled, stupidly thinking about the fact that Lena said she’d still be around, win or lose. 

There was nothing but pressure on her to win, but at the end of it all, Kara knew that her biggest fan would still want her, and something so sure was somewhat steadying. 

She smiled and looked at the net, prepared. 

XXXXXXXXXX

By the time the confetti stopped swirling through the stadium, Lena was practically floating toward the edge of the stadium to celebrate with the fellow fans. The president was polite enough to guide her down toward the field, though she didn’t remember much. Instead, she was in Kara’s jersey and she was eager to congratulate her favorite player. 

The smile Kara had on her face when she made the goal was ecstatic. She was over the moon, happy and alive. Lena wasn’t sure anyone had ever been that happy in their entire universe. She ran around the field, arms outstretched and swallowing the cheers as her team tackled her, celebrating already. 

There was still seven minutes to play, and it was perhaps the longest seven minutes of her life, and Lena could only imagine what it felt like to be giving it all for an entire seven minute stretch. But they won. The final whistle blew and Kara won the entire cup, the hero of the tournament. 

The smile Kara had on her face when the game was over was… it was… Lena wasn’t sure she’d ever seen that kind of smile before on anyone, and she remembered Kara’s relaxed smile in her bed in the middle of the afternoon, and there was a similar kind of peace. 

There were pictures and cheering and songs and in the middle of it all, Lena stood there, giving an interview and soundbite to some news anchor when she met Kara’s eyes. Once they did, she never lost those eyes. It didn’t matter what was happening, if she was chatting with some investors, Lena kept tabs out of the corner of her eye. When Kara was smothered in affection from her team and coach, when she took pictures, when she tried to get closer, Lena watched and simultaneously grew nervous and thrilled. 

But Lena could feel Kara’s growing impatience. She watched her push through the crowd finally and suddenly she was standing in front of her. Sweat cooled on her neck, twisting the ends of her hair up in tiny curls. The smile returned, but this one was different. This one was the one that Lena knew was her’s. For a split second, amidst the chaos, she wondered if Kara thought that her own smile was reserved for her. She wondered if her lips were curling up in a certain way that only Kara could find. 

“Congratu--”

Her words were cut off as Kara’s arm swept around her waist, dipping her back into a kiss. Lena didn’t feel her arms as Kara tilted her, holding her weight, but she must have wrapped them around Kara’s neck because she was clinging to the soccer player. 

Time stood still but lena felt the kiss deepen, she felt Kara’s lips and her hands on her back. She felt the earth shift as she was pulled back up to a normal standing position. She kept her eyes closed, feeling Kara’s smile radiating toward her. 

“I’m so sorry. I genuinely didn’t mean… I don’t know what happened-- I--”

Lena closed the distance again, stopping the words and the apology for something that never needed to be apologized for. The kiss only broke because Kara smiled too much to keep kissing. 

“I’m so very proud of you,” Lena sighed, finally opening her eyes. Kara leaned forward, her forehead on her own, her arms still around her until she moved to hug her tightly. “You are spectacular.” 

“I’m so happy you came.” 

“I think the cats out of the bag.” 

“Yeah.”

“Good. As it should be.” 

“I have to go hoist up a trophy, but I’ll see you later?” Kara asked, her eyes searching, worried about the answer. 

“I’ll be waiting.”  

XXXXXXXXXX

There was a lot of speculation. It was almost as big of new as the Cup itself. The CEO and the Superstar. The picture was as famous as the goal. But both refused to comment much upon their relationship to the public. What else could they have to give them except that they were together? Everyone wanted more, wanted to know, wanted something, but they kept low-key and contented within themselves. 

But Lena had no problem gushing about her favorite soccer player. She had no problem answering endless questions about how wonderful Kara was as a person, a beacon of light for the community, a shining light, a joy. She gushed until she was certain she’d sound like a broken record. It didn’t stop her though. 

Kara was able to keep it about her sport. She kept her relationship quiet and she only mentioned Lena when she absolutely had to because no matter how many times Lena would say such things that made her blush, she knew that her girlfriend was shy. 

“Am I doing it right?” Lena asked as Kara hovered over her, blocking the sun. She dripped cold water on her back, earning a squeal. 

“Now you are.” 

“Stop! You’re all cold.” 

“Come into the water with me.” 

Lena closed her book and twisted around on the beach towel, hidden by the shade of the large umbrella. The bright blue sky had only a few fluffy clouds while the water lapped gently at the shore. There wasn’t another soul for miles and miles as they were alone on their speck of an island. 

Kara stood there waiting, smile big on her face as Lena glared, adjusting her sunglasses to peruse the soccer player in a bikini. 

“The sun feels so good,” Kara explained, toweling at her stomach and shoulders. “Whoever thought of going on a vacation is a genius.” 

“I agree.” 

“We can stay on vacation forever you know.”

“But if we did that, who would win the finals? And who would run LCorp? And who would defend the cup in a few years?” 

“Those are good points.”

Standing on the beach, Kara looked out toward the gentle waves and smelled the breeze. She had a couples massage after breakfast, and the only real plans they had was to lay around for the entire day until a small dinner. The perfect schedule. 

Even though her girlfriend was annoyed by the splashing, Kara snuck and look and saw how relaxed she was. There was something wonderful about a relaxed Lena. 

“You’re doing very good at vacationing,” Kara decided, hands on her hips as she stood closer to the lounging CEO. “We might have to plan another.” 

“Maybe to the mountains?” 

“I could do that. Get you out on the mountains?” 

“I love to ski.” 

“Oh?” 

“I can do athletic things, Danvers. I’m not an invalid.” 

“Are you ready to prove it?” 

“I’m vacation-- Kara! No!” 

Scooped up in an instant and tossed over her shoulder, Lena wiggled despite the strong arms that held her as she was carried toward the ocean. When she hit the cool water she shivered and came up for a gulp of air, a mischievous smile on her girlfriend’s lips. 

“I’m going to burn in the sun.” 

“You have seventeen layers of sunscreen on,” Kara admonished, swimming in a circle around her. “Enjoy the water with me.” 

Floating along, Lena relented, placing her arms around Kara’s shoulders. In the ocean they relaxed and drifted, far away from it all. 

“I’m really glad Jess bought that team,” Lena whispered, leaning forward to kiss Kara. 

“Me too.” 

The End

[shedyou-blog]

Rush (Adonis Creed One-Shot)

Summary: A young intern has a rough start to her day, and running into a certain stranger is just the icing on the cake. 

Warning: Mild language.

Word count: 3,399

Notes: I might turn this into a series, but for now it’s just a quick one-shot that I wrote last night. This is my first ever piece of writing that I’ve shared, so I’m pretty nervous. Feel free to leave your feedback or any requests, as I’m keen on wanting to better myself as a writer. Also, thank you to my friend, Brittani, for being my proofreader/editor! I appreciate you! You guys can check out her material @killmongers-counselor ❤️

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“Thank you so much, Greg!” I cried out to the barista behind the Starbucks counter as I made my way past the crowded sea of people trying to get their morning beverages and breakfast. Holding a piping hot cup of coffee in one and my briefcase in the other, I used my shoulder to quickly push the door of the Starbucks open and made my way on to the ever so lively, busy streets of New York City.

This morning had been a doozy, considering the fact that I overslept, and was now running late for work. As an intern for one of the top public relations firms in the country, I made it my mission to appear as professional as possible in order to achieve the career that I’ve always wanted, which was to be the best damn publicist in the entertainment business that the world had ever seen.

Glancing down at the rose gold Apple watch on my wrist, I cracked one eye open, scared to look at the time displayed on the tiny screen. “Fuck!” I let out a tumultuous groan as I proceeded to power walk down the congested sidewalk amongst other wayfarers trying to get to their individuals destinations. There was never a time where NYC wasn’t busy, especially during the weekdays. The streets were always filled with employees making their way to their nine to fives. I fret that I wasn’t going to make it to my job on time, becoming annoyed and panicked as I damn near sprinted, finally approaching the area in which my workspace was located. The only issue was that I was on the wrong side of the street and making it across the hectic street would prove a challenge. However, at this moment in time, I didn’t care about anything other than making it to my job, so I took my chances. Holding up my hand that was preoccupied by my briefcase, I began to jog across, passing by a few cars. The owners of the cars were obviously irritated, making sure that they honked their horns at me to let me know how dumb I was, but I didn’t care.

I was halfway across the street when suddenly, my heel got caught in a subway grate, causing me to lose my footing, but I quickly recovered by stretching my arms to my sides, which helped me with my balance. Once I got my body to stop swaying back and forth, I crouched down to try and retrieve my heel which was still stuck in the subway grate. “Oh, my fucking god, you have to be kidding me right now.” I harshly whispered to myself, thinking my morning couldn’t get any worse than what it already was.

“Aye, watch out!” I heard someone bellow out, but I was way too focused on trying to save my heel to pay them any attention. “Hey!” They yelled again, and that’s when my entire body crashed into the sidewalk. It was as if something, or more so, someone, had collided right into me.

I let out a shriek, bewildered and thinking over what the hell had just happened. A few seconds later, the weight that had slammed into me removed itself while I still laid on the hard, gray concrete. “What the fu- “I turned my body around and sat up, so I was sitting on my butt, and that’s when I looked up to see a well-built African-American man standing over me with his somewhat swollen hand extended to me. Before I grabbed his hand, I analyzed him quickly. His torso was clad in a skin tight, long sleeved black shirt, which was layered with a warm black leather jacket with beige fur lining the outsides. His jeans were a dark wash blue and they slightly sagged a little, but not too much to where they were falling off his ass. He adorned a pair of classic tan Timberlands on his feet. He was good looking, handsome, actually. I’ll give him that. Hesitantly, I took his hand into mine and he pulled me up, helping me stand to my feet. My feet. Underneath my left foot, I could feel the hard, cold, gravely pavement. I glanced down, finding that my shoe was no longer attached to my foot and my eyes immediately darted toward the street to see that it had already been ran over, and was continuing to be ran over by other vehicles making their way through town. “SERIOUSLY?!” I huffed out, sulking and stomping my feet, to which the male currently standing before me found to be amusing. I quickly shot him the hardest glare I could muster which only made him laugh even harder. If I wasn’t so angry, I would have noted how perfect his teeth were, but I was way more focused on giving him a piece of my mind than complementing his features. “I don’t see what it is that you find so funny. Now what am I gonna do? I literally have to be at work in three minutes and I’m missing a fucking shoe!”

With a shake of his head, he beamed down at me. “It was either gonna be you or the shoe. I figured you were worth more than an object that could be easily replaced.”

“Well that’s where you’re wrong, because that shoe was VERY expensive, limited edition actually, therefore it can’t be replaced!” I spoke loudly with an eye roll and with as much venom that I could lace into my voice.

“Listen, if the shoes mean so much to you, I’ll buy you another pair to cover the damages.” He said with an exasperated sigh, sensing my anger through the tone of my voice.

“What part of these are limited editions did you not understand? Did you not listen to a word I just said?” I was pretty much yelling at the guy now.

He cocked an eyebrow at me as he looked at me in shock. “You know usually when someone gets their life saved, they show a bit of gratefulness by saying thank you. You’re crazy to wanna risk your life over a shoe of all things.”

“Yet you’d risk your life for a complete stranger, someone who you don’t know and will probably never see again?” I inquired, raising my eyebrow to imitate his earlier facial expression. I knew I was coming off as extremely rude and bitchy, but I was too far gone in rage to even care.

He gave a slight shrug of his broad shoulders. “Well, I’d rather die as a hero than die as a moron.”

“Excuse me? The hell is that supposed to mean?” I questioned, getting offended by his smart comment.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head while waving me off. “It doesn’t mean anything. Just leave, y’know…. so you won’t be late for work.”

“Oh, I’m going! You don’t have to worry about that!” I clapped back, making sure the tone in my voice was dripping with nothing but sarcasm. I quickly turned around and limped my way to my destination, before growing even more annoyed and taking the remaining heel off. Once inside the building where my job was located, I scurried through the front lobby with my head down, embarrassed to be seen by my fellow coworkers in my current state. I could hear murmurs and whispers as I felt people’s eyes burning a hole through my body. After what felt like forever, I reached the elevator and climbed in with a number of other employees, squeezing my way through so I could press the button that would take me to the tenth floor of the building. Once again, I could feel eyes on me, so I concentrated on getting to my meeting on time, and also tried to come up with an explanation as to why I was walking into a professional setting barefoot. This internship meant everything to me and was the key to achieving my dream job. I couldn’t let this mishap cost me everything that I’ve worked so hard to get.

When the elevator doors opened, I lightly jogged to the conference room, walking in to see my boss, Mr. Addington, and multiple other colleagues sitting at the long, freshly varnished conference table. I nodded my head swiftly as a greeting, and hurriedly made my way to my seat.  “You’re just in time Ms. Bridges. I was starting to think I was going to have to let you go. We are waiting on our new client to arrive and then we’ll proceed with the meeting.” I sighed, giving him a light “okay” as a response, honestly exhausted from how rough my morning had been. I was just grateful he hadn’t noticed my missing shoes.

Once seated, I took a deep breath, trying to relax my thoughts. I looked around the table nervously and spotted that everyone had their required paperwork stacked in front of them, just in case the client decided to pick who he or she wanted to represent them. Then it hit me. When I got knocked over on the sidewalk earlier, my coffee AND briefcase fell out of my hands and onto the jam pact streets of the Concrete Jungle. “Shit!” I said under my breathe so no one around me could hear. I scooted my chair back and stood up, straightening my outfit which had been wrinkled due to my fall a few minutes earlier. “Mr. Addington,” I squeaked out. “I apologize for the inconvenience, but I just realized that I left my paperwork out- um, on my desk! If you don’t mind, could I go and get it really quick?”

“Go ahead.” He finally spoke after a few seconds of sitting in silence, which seemed like an eternity. I nodded, trying to make a beeline for the conference room door, but then Mr. Addington stopped me.

“Ms. Bridges?” He called out from behind me, resulting in me stopping dead in my tracks, shutting my eyes tightly in order to brace myself for what I knew was about to come. “Why on earth are you walking around in a professional setting without shoes on?”

Turning around slowly, I gave him the most apologetic look that I could assemble, opening my mouth to say something, but someone standing behind me decided to speak for me. It was him.

“It’s because I spilled coffee on them. I might have gotten some on her briefcase too.” I turned my head in the direction of where the voice was coming from, only to see the man I had encountered earlier standing before me, holding a pair of the very same shoes that had been damaged along with my briefcase. He sported a dazzling smile, showing off his pearly whites while handing the items over to me. “Here you go, ma’am. Sorry about all the trouble.”

My mouth was wide open as my jaw hung low, in complete shock and disbelief that 1) I would run into him again and 2) he had found the same exact limited-edition shoes I was sporting earlier. I struggled to find the words to say, until I saw him stalking over to the other empty seat at the table, that’s when the realization hit me. “Wait, you’re our new client?!” I whispered to him before he got too far out of ear shot. He turned his head slightly, winking his eye at me with a cheeky grin plastered along his face.

“Well then Ms. Bridges, if you don’t mind, could you please take a seat, so we can get this meeting started?” Mr. Addington suggested. “Y-yes sir.” I stuttered while clearing my throat, ecstatic that I wasn’t going to lose my internship and headed towards the table to take my seat.

  ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

When the meeting was over, everyone in the room stood up from their seats and began to fill out of the room, including the man whose name I had already forgot despite him being the topic of discussion at today’s meeting. I was still wanting to hold on to a little bit of anger, but it was hard to do so after his grand gesture of retrieving my briefcase and finding me my prized heels. Apparently, he was really popular in the boxing world, being the gifted seed of another popular boxer who had died before he was born. He recently became the new heavyweight champion of the world and was in need of a publicist to help mold his public image to the world. It seems as if he was known by the majority of the employees in the conference room, except me, considering I’m not into sports like that. The meeting ended with him not deciding who he wanted as a publicist, so Mr. Addington decided that we’d have another meeting soon unless he made up his mind later on today.

I quickly caught up to the man in the hallway, tapping him lightly on his shoulder with a manicured nail to get his attention. “Excuse me.” I croaked out, slightly nervous and embarrassed that I had made such a fool out of myself earlier.

He stopped walking and turned his head halfway, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I could tell he was smirking, his eyes held a glint of amusement in them. “Yes?” He responded.

“Um, h-how did you get these? They’re-“I began to ask before he turned around fully and cut me off.

“Limited edition?” He chuckled, finishing my sentence for me. His shoulders bounced lightly, finding the turn of events humorous. “Girl, you ain’t the only woman in this building with these. You know that, right? They aren’t as limited as you thought.”

I nodded my head, beginning to stumble over my words. “I mean, yeah but- I know b-but- “He cut me off again.

“Look, I bought ‘em off some woman’s feet ‘ight? Don’t even trip. There yours now so you should be happy now, right?” He answered in the most sarcastic tone he could convene, imitating how I was acting earlier. He started to walk away again toward the elevator.

“Thank you!” I blurted out loudly and he stopped dead in his tracks, his back facing me while his finger hovered over the button that would take him to the first floor of the building.

“What are you thankful for? The shoes, saving your life, or saving your job?” He cocked his head to the side. I couldn’t see his face, but I just knew he was sporting an exasperated look on his features.

“Everything.” It came out more like a question and he kissed his teeth in response. “Look, I was dead wrong to not say thank you. I know I came off as a bitch and I truly apologize for being so nasty to you. I was just really stressed out and I know that isn’t an excuse to treat you the way that I did. I’m really sorry.”

He was still turned around the other way, nodding his head as a sign that he accepted my apology. “’Ight, I forgive you, but you owe me for doing me like that.”

“I’ll do anything! Just say the word.” I quickly rushed out, only to ponder that what I just said could be taken the wrong way. “Except sex. That’s out of the question. Anything but that.” He spun around at that statement, letting out a hearty laugh, his eyes squinting and his nose crinkling a bit. I hated to say it, but he looked absolutely adorable. He reminded me of a little kid at that moment. When he finally calmed down, he let out a small chuckle, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat. “I promise no sex. Just dinner and movie… and for you to be my new publicist.”

“Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean like a DATE date? I asked, taken aback that he’d even mention that as an option. Not to put myself down or anything, but I considered myself to be pretty average compared to the women I’d assume were his type. He seemed to be out of my league. “And also, you want me to be your publicist? Nigga, did you see how we were butting heads earlier? Plus I’m just an intern. There are other people who were in that room that are way more qualified and have more experience than me. You really think that’s a good idea?” I said with hand on my hip.

He gave me a blank stare, kissing his teeth again. “Nah I mean a conference.” He responded sarcastically to my first question. “And how are you gonna get experience if you don’t go out in the field first hand? If you do a good job, you might get hired for a full-time position. I think it’s a great idea.” I nodded my head slowly, taking in what he just said. He was making a lot of sense.

“Well when you put it that way… okay, what the hell, I’ll do it.” I obliged, glancing down at the shoes that were now on my feet, clasping my hands together behind my back as I rocked back and forth on the heels of my feet to the tips of my toes. “And as for the date, I mean, that’s cool. I would love that…” I trailed off, trying to remember the name Mr. Addington referred to him by during the meeting.

As if he read my mind, he chuckled once again. “You can just call me Donnie.” He smiled, shaking his head lightly in delight.

“Donnie” I repeated under my breathe a few times, making sure his name was ingrained in my brain. I looked up at him, his gaze was slightly intimidating. “Well, I’m- “

“Amondi. How could I forget such a unique name?” He had a habit of finishing my sentences, I could see. It seemed like he always had a way of knowing exactly was I was going to say, and he just met me. “Wait, Mr. Addington never referred to me by my first name. How did you know?” I gave him a side eye, curious as to how he found out that piece of information.

“This morning must really got you frazzled.” He spoke, amusement lacing his voice. “It’s labeled on the front of your briefcase.”

“Oh… well yeah, that’s correct. So, uh, do you wanna take my number or should I take yours? My mom always told me that if a guy gives you his number, then that means he has nothing to hide and is serious about wanting to get to know you, but if he takes yours instead, then that means he probably has a boatload of other women and would rather have your number, so you won’t have such easy access to him. He can call you whenever he wants but you can’t do the same.” I gave him a knowing look, analyzing his face to see if I could gauge his reaction.

“Well then, you got a pen?” He raised a brow at me, a smirk slowly forming across his face. I nodded my head, reaching in to my briefcase to retrieve my favorite red ink pen. I was expecting him to hold his hand out, so I could scribble my number onto his palm, but was shocked we he briskly grabbed the pen from my hand, holding it in his to write his own number on my palm. I smiled at him for what was probably the first time today as he quickly wrote each digit one by one onto my somewhat shaky palm that he held still with his own.

I knew for a fact my mom would cuss me out and would continue to do so until the cows come home if she knew I had agreed to a date with a guy I barely knew, but he just seemed different. He actually seemed like he wanted to get to know me for me, plus he was encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone by being his publicist. Most of the guys I’ve been with could care less about my career.

And after all, he found a way to make the impossible, possible, and not just once, but three times.

Let’s just hope I’m right.

[cleverbroadwayurl]

“100% THE GAME LOSERS”

A/N: Okay so I normally don’t write things, but I got super inspired by @robot-anon‘s 1000 Follower Contest! I saw the quote “If you take one more photo I swear I’ll--” and immediately thought of Life is Strange!! Now, this post does contain spoilers because there isn’t really a way to avoid them when writing about the plot, but I did the best I could! I also tried to stay gender neutral, so my apologies if the piece becomes more feminine at times. Please take the trigger warnings seriously! 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of rape, mentions of drug use, mentions of non-consensual actions, Life is Strange spoilers, swearing, mentions of domestic abuse, and mentions of sexual assault in general. 

You knocked on Jeremy’s door with your right hand just as the sun was setting in New Jersey. Your left hand kept a tight grasp around a small rectangular case as you slightly smiled to yourself. There was a chill in the air, but the weather in New Jersey wasn’t anything new, even though you had just moved across the country a year ago. The golden hour had just begun, the sunlight giving everything a heavenly glow. Time to show Jeremy what he’s missing out on.

Mr. Heere opened the door, and surprisingly, he looked more…put together than usual (as in, he was actually wearing pants). He smiled a warm smile that matched the golden sunlight that was cast on the Heere’s front porch while opening the front door a little wider so you could come into the house. “Hi (Y/N),” he said, the large smile remaining static, “Jeremy and Michael are downstairs in the basement.”

You stepped into the house, while thanking Mr. Heere before practically hurling yourself down the stairs and into the basement.

Apocalypse of the Damned flashed on the TV, and you lunged towards the two boys who were silent in concentration. Trying not to disturb them any more than you already had, you carefully managed to sit between the two, half of your body on Michael’s bean bag, and the other half on Jeremy’s.

The three of you sat in comfortable silence as Jeremy and Michael attempted to get past Level 10 (they had beaten level 9 right after the SQUIP incident, the SQUIP-cident if you will, and just before they met you).

“GAME OVER” flashed on the screen in big red letters as both boys sighed. “DAMN IT” Michael yelled as he tossed the controller to the side. You let out a small chuckle as the two boys mourned their loss. Again.

“Hey (Y/N),” Jeremy greeted after a moment. You weren’t offended that they hadn’t greeted you when you got there. This was typical for Game Night, and you knew how hard they had worked on Level 10. Why they still couldn’t beat it was beyond you.

“Hey Jeremy,” you greeted before smirking at Michael. “Hi Michael, looking peachy as usual.”

He rolled his eyes playfully before sending you a smirk back. “Aww thanks, (Y/N). You know we were aiming to lose, that’s just how we play.”

“Surprisingly, that makes a lot of sense. I mean when the three of us play Mario Kart, that seems to be the common goal between the two of you,” you sassed back.

“HEY!” They shouted as they sat up. You could hardly contain the laughter from creeping out as the two pretended that they were extremely offended.  

It wasn’t that they were bad, it’s just that you had experience. You had been playing with your brother since you were two, and he had taught you every trick in the book. You knew the tracks by heart on most systems, and could play almost any cup with your eyes closed. Of course, Jeremy and Michael put up a good fight, but you still ended up on top.

“Whatcha got there?” Jeremy asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“It was my turn to pick the game for Game Night. So I picked my favorite one,” you gave a small, but extremely genuine smile.

“Which one?”

“Life is Strange.”

“Wait…isn’t that single player?” Michael asked, his eyebrows furrowing. You nodded in response before showing the game in all of its glory.

“And haven’t you played it like 5 times?”

“Try 8 times, Heere,” you shot back, proud of yourself for logging over 150 hours into this somewhat obscure game.

“Okay…so why are we playing it tonight? It breaks not just one, but two of our Game Night rules. It’s single player and you’ve played it before. 8 times apparently,” Jeremy said, looking at you with confusion.

“Because you guys need to play it. It’s a part of me. I love this game so damn much, and I’ve devoted my only free time since Spring 2016 to this game. I mean, it’s a godsend. This game helps me relax, and sometimes it helps me sleep. So, if you want to get to know me better, which I know both of you do, we are going to sit here and play this game until we’re finished. No excuses, no buts, no shit talking from the peanut gallery. IE: you two.”

“Alright then, no sleeping buddy,” Michael teased, poking at your side. “It’s your game. You gotta stay up and play it with us.”

You giggled at Michael’s usual antics before quickly noticing that he was actually right. You weren’t lying: this game helped you relax and sleep when life was hitting you hardest. But you had committed to it. There is no way that Michael and Jeremy would be able to finish this game on their own in one night. Between the fetch quests and memory quizzes, it would take these boys over 20 hours to complete it. And the bottle collecting for Chloe Price in Episode 2 was a two-hour task on its own if you weren’t an experienced player. They definitely needed you awake.

“I promise to try my best,” you stated, confidently.

“Okay, so how is this going to work?” Jeremy asked, eyeing the controller. It was obvious that he wanted to be the person controlling Max, but Life is Strange is a choice-based game. It requires the most observant player, the most patient people, and most importantly, the ones who can keep a cool head when things get crazy. Michael and Jeremy did not seem to meet all of the requirements. Not yet, at least.

They were absolutely experienced in video games, but the two had never played something that required so much thought. Sure, the decisions get harder, but decisions are not levels. This was not the average mainstream retro game like Apocalypse of the Damned. No, this required thought, and someone who knew that they were doing.

“You guys will make the decisions. I have no input unless you two are truly conflicted on something. I will hit whatever button you guys tell me to. There is no timer for making the choices, and no quick time, so we don’t have to worry about how long each debate about decisions will take. I know where everything is for the fetch quests, and I wanted to 100% the game on your guys’ first play through. Some of the achievements are super hard to get. Plus, how sick would those bragging rights be?”

“There are achievements?” Jeremy asked, sounding skeptical.

“How does that work?” Michael followed up.

“There are optional photos you can take in every episode. Those count as trophies, or achievements,” you explained, already standing up to insert the game into Jeremy’s PS4.

“Sounds like you’ve thought about this,” Michael noted, eyeing up the game’s case.

You stood in front of the TV for a second, thinking about everything you would need. You had the game, the seating arrangement, how the game was to be played; what else did you need? Michael probably needs another slushie, and maybe all three of you need snacks?

“Hey Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“This game takes 10 hours to complete. You might want a slushie to help you get through it.”

“And maybe some snacks if we’re in for the long haul?” Jeremy quickly added on.

“Anything else you want before Servant Michael goes to 7/11?”

“It was just a suggestion,” you reminded as Michael grabbed his keys.

“Nah, I’m not mad at you. Jeremy, however, owes me one big favor when I get back because he didn’t offer to tag along and help with both the choosing and carrying of the snacks.”

“Dude, I don’t want to leave her here alone with my dad. That’s...more than embarrassing.”

“Fair point. I’ll be back soon, you two.”

You waved Michael goodbye as he climbed up the stairs and out of the house. You decided to be a little sneaky and wait until Michael was gone before sitting yourself down in his usual spot.

You and Jeremy made small talk in the basement as you waited for Michael to get back. The 7/11 was only a 4-minute drive, and you were sure that he’d be back shortly.

Talking with Jeremy was always a little bit interesting. Sometimes he was awkward, or sometimes things were stuttered out, or sometimes he was embarrassed because he accidentally overshared, but overall, Jeremy was a pretty good conversationalist once he got comfortable. Which was nice, honestly. Because you often tend to be okay at making typical and cliché small talk (you and the SQUIP Squad have talked about the weather a lot) for the first part of the conversation, but run out of things to say. However, whenever you and Jeremy talked, it was easy. If you ran out of things to say, Jeremy would become comfortable enough to come up with something relating to whatever you were talking about. It was a nice balance between the two of you.

“I have a question for you,” Jeremy started, looking at the game’s case.

“What’s up, Jer?”

“Why do you love this game so much?” He asked innocently.

Your mind went blank for a second. “Feminism,” you spat out quickly. Your gaze shifted towards your lap as soon as the word exited your lips. Sure, it was feminism. But it was also so much more. It was everything to you, the first “real” game you’d ever played. It was your outlet for any stress, it was a way to be undetected; it was an escape.

“Are you sure that that’s the only reason why you like it?” Jeremy asked, trying to meet your eyes. He knew that whenever you did this, you weren’t telling the whole truth. This was a way for you to dodge questions because it would force you to go deeper into your personal life. He knew you weren’t really a sharer, but also knew that you’d spent so many hours not only playing this game, but researching the science of it, researching strategy to get new outcomes, and, of course, waiting for the sequel. There was definitely more you loved about this game than ‘feminism’.

You opened your mouth to answer his question (actually, you were probably going to make a self-depreciating joke, which was also a defense mechanism), but Michael waltzed back into the room, cherry slushie in hand. He had a bag of snacks in his other hand, claiming that there was no Game Night complete without eating your weight in junk food.

He reached into the bag, and pulled out some ice cream. He handed the frozen treat to you as Jeremy grabbed the controller and booted up the game. Slowly but surely, Michael had dispersed the snacks in front of all 3 of you. As you opened up your ice cream, and Michael handed you a spoon, you decided that now was probably a good time to talk about some themes in this game.

“Alright guys, listen up.”

The two boys looked at you sharply as the game continued to load onto the screen. You noticed that your voice had gotten a lot quieter than it was when you thanked Michael for the ice cream and spoon.

“This game deals with some…sensitive issues. I know that sometimes you guys get upset when people are mistreated, so if either of you need to take a break to cool off a little bit, let the group know.”

“We can handle it, (Y/N),” Michael smiled, mimicking Superman’s pose before kicking you out of his bean bag. You gently moved over to the spot you’d had before as the game’s main menu appeared.

A sense of calm washed over you. The title music was the number one thing that kept you sane and happy. It stopped anxiety attacks, any bouts of paranoia, and could destress you in 10 minutes. The whoosh of the ocean and wind reminded you of the few peaceful times that you had had in your hometown.

“We get it, (Y/N). You’re from Seattle.”

“We get it, Michael. You can’t tell the difference between Seattle and Oregon: where this game actually takes place.”

Michael rolled his eyes playfully as you selected “New Game”. You had to admit, it was funny to watch the two boys jump at the initial thunder clap that began the game. You smiled, happy tears in your eyes, so happy to be playing your favorite game with some amazing people.

And with that, the game play started. You quickly blinked back your tears, and returned to your normal state. Episode 1 was rather easy. It was an introductory to the characters and the game mechanic. You had to admit, there were some moments that you’d cherish forever.

Some examples include: when Nathan shoots Chloe in the bathroom, both boys screamed out the first time it happened. It wasn’t even like a manly scream. Michael’s voice cracked and Jeremy’s was so high in his falsetto, you swore only animals could hear it. When the boys made the choice to stay hidden in Chloe’s closet and Chloe’s step-douche hits her because she was smoking weed, Michael did indeed get a little pissy. His exact words were “That guy is a fucking dick who would marry him?”

As the game went on, you noticed that Michael had a soft spot for Kate Marsh. Kate Marsh also happens to be your favorite character, so you and Michael happily agreed to help her in any way you two could. Jeremy started to get fed up because “why do we have to stop and clean her whiteboard again?”

By the end of Episode 2, Jeremy was eating his words. As soon as Max got on the roof and said the infamous: “I can’t rewind!!”, Jeremy’s eyes got wide. Fortunately, they managed to save Kate. Both of them just sat there after the episode ended, taking deep breaths. You had to keep reassuring them that yes, they did save Kate (Michael almost cried when you told him that there was a large chance that you would not be able to save her, so imagine his relief).

The two had also said yes to the date with Warren, so it was a pretty good playthrough so far.

After Jeremy and Michael had calmed down, they both decided it was best for them to keep going. Their interest in the game spiked, and they both slowly began to realize what they were missing out on. You, however, got a little bit more worried. Before you hit “Continue”, you set the controller down and took a breath.

“It only gets worse from here. I am warning you now. Those episodes were tame. The next ones are…much darker. Literally and figuratively.”

They both shuddered at your words before Jeremy bravely said that he would like to continue.

By the end of Episode 3, they had blamed Nathan, sided with Chloe and Joyce, survived the initial confrontation with Frank (they laughed when Frank said “THOSE WERE MY BEANS”), and had managed to not fuck up too badly. Plus, you had gotten them all of the optional photos so far. Not a bad playthrough at all.

But then came Episode 4. Episode 4 was the most unsettling chapter of the game. You knew this. The boys you were playing with? Did not.

However, you began the episode and kept going. When Max had to go into Nathan’s room, you tensed. How could you not; his room is creepy. Of course, you found the photo of Chloe, and the broken lamp. That was a given. But when Max commented “I hope all of those models were consenting,” Michael almost lost it, and Jeremy seemed to shake with anger.

“(Y/N), he did it, I know he did it, Jesus Christ Nathan I will personally pummel you to the ground pal,” Michael rambled.

Although his threats were funny, this was nothing compared to Episode 5. You kind of dreaded it. If they were mad at characters now, they were going to be furious by the end of the game.

The three of you kept going, and Jeremy was getting a little annoyed at how out of your way you had to go to get some of the optional photos. But when you mentioned that he’d be 100%-ing the game first try, he’d shut up really quick.

You made it to the barn. You stopped just outside of it (taking a photo, much to Jeremy’s dismay), before setting the controller down the second time. The two boys looked at you, curious as to why you weren’t going in. Taking a breath, you started to formulate what you should say in order to make this half confession to go as easy as possible for you. You didn’t want to freak out so bad that you had to turn off the game like you’d done in the past.

The basement was dark. And you were about the enter the Dark Room.

“Okay…uhm…guys? Listen to me very carefully. When I’m searching for something weird in this barn, the controller will vibrate ever so slowly. I will jump every time it does. I know what’s in there, and it’s…disturbing to say the least. So, if I do jump, there is no need to worry. It’s just me being a little anxious.”

Their expressions went from confused to concerned. They each put a hand on your shoulder, grounding you in the moment.

Finally, you’d made it to Episode 5, sans sleeping. It was a miracle to be honest. You made it through the barn, and guess what? Jeremy and Michael cried when you found out what happened to Rachel Amber. Sure, it was sad, but after playing it 8 times, you get desensitized, you know?

The end of Episode 4 was what really got these boys angry, though. When Max was given the injection, Michael screeched out “NATHAN YOU FUCKING PRESCOTT!!” while Jeremy gasped. And when the figure in the dark was shown, there was a mixture of “FUCK”s that were spewed into the room.

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“HOW THE FUCK”

“WAIT”

“FUCKIN NO THIS ISN’T REAL”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD”

“HOW”

“THAT SICK MOTHERFUCKER”

“WHO DRUGS GIRLS AND THEN TAKES PHOTOS OF THEM WHAT THE FUCK”

“TORTURES HIS FUCKIN MODELS WHO DOES THAT”

By the end of it, Michael went to go smoke some weed and Jeremy had his head in his hands. You sat silently, letting the title music take your worries away.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes Jer?”

“You were right. It’s very feminist.”

You sighed at him as he stared at the ground in confusion. “Glad you think so,” you said after a beat. You waited another second before saying “It gets worse.”

“How does it get fucking worse?”

You sat for a minute before explaining that if he wants to know, he needs to get Michael. And you could’ve sworn you had never seen Jeremy move so fast in his life.

And there you sat. Shocking that this game was relaxing, wasn’t it? Well, to you it was. The light colors, the calming music, basically everything except the subject matter made you a happy person. You wondered if Michael and/or Jeremy would question you about why this is your favorite game (Jeremy would want you to go more in depth, you were sure of it). And you were sure that they’d ask you how you were able to sleep after playing such a game. You had to form sentences in your mind. This couldn’t be about self-depreciating jokes. This had to be real. If you were going to open up to them, you needed to be yourself and use the actual terminology, not some half assed whole lie.

Jeremy showed up with Michael moments later, and he was not as high as you would actually think. You looked at him, kind of surprised in all honesty. He noticed you staring at him, and then said “I wanted to make good decisions in this game. We almost lost Kate. I don’t want to lose someone else.”

You nodded before hitting the “Continue” button.

During the nightmare portion, you collapsed into yourself as each level got darker and darker. Michael was extremely fixated on the game, while Jeremy noticed and wrapped an arm around you. Every time you’d slightly flinch, he’d give you a reassuring squeeze into him.

The stealth was coming up. It was your least favorite part of the game and by far the scariest. It was honestly nightmare inducing all by itself. As soon as you heard the villain’s “Don’t try to hide Max! Get over here! Let me capture you!” You jumped and gave a small yelp. You quickly tried to steady your breathing and get ready to stealth your way past all of the terrible people in the game.

As soon as you jumped, Jeremy’s arm fell off of you, and after you’d landed, he placed his hand on your shoulder. Michael quickly did the same, understanding that yes, the two of them were scared shitless, but imagine how you were feeling. You were the one playing. And you were the only one who could complete the game in its entirety.

“You can do this. You’ve done it 8 times. You are safe. You are here with me and Michael.” Jeremy soothed as you stepped out from behind the white wall.

Expertly navigating through the maze, both boys remained silent. It was like they were playing Apocalypse of the Damned again. Whenever you were caught, your breath would hitch, and you would tense up. But being brave is rewinding and trying it again. So, that’s what you did.

The objective was to get to the lighthouse. Both Jeremy and Michael were extremely disturbed by this creepy maze, and they honestly just wanted it to be over. They both tensed up every time a flashlight would flash across the screen. You could feel it on your shoulders.

After collecting one of the optional photos in the stealth, Jeremy breathed a slight sigh of relief. “That’s the last one, right?” He asked, hoping that you’d say yes.

You remained silent, eyes on the screen as you got to the last section. Michael and Jeremy were cheering. You were so close to being done with this hellish landscape!!

Then you heard Max comment “Oh shit! Bottle collecting? Are you cereal?” You looped around, expertly avoiding each person with a flashlight.

“YOU’RE SO CLOSE TO THE LIGHTHOUSE JUST GO TO THE LIGHTHOUSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING” both boys started shouting.

“100% THE GAME LOSERS” you screeched back. You had managed to get all the bottles, with no worries.

Well, except one. You had one bottle to go, and from behind, you heard the most disturbing line of them all: “Max, Rachel not only gave great headshots. She gave great head. Especially after I dug her up to be with her one final time. Why are you looking at me like that?”

That was the one line you had never heard the main villain say. It was the one that you hoped you’d never hear. It was the one that made you cringe, flinch, and then nearly throw the controller.

Jeremy nearly threw up. Michael nearly threw up. What kind of sick game was this?! Jeremy was done with you getting these optional photos. He was done with Nathan, Frank, the whole evil gang really. He wanted that 100%, but to be honest, he wanted you to be okay more. Jeremy hated the fact that he had to witness you being absolutely terrified and jumped at every little interaction. Sure, he knew you loved this game, but something told him you had never heard that person say that specific line before. The game had gone too far. He knew you needed to be calm again. And he knew that nothing was going to do that besides making it to the lighthouse.

“(Y/N), you don’t need to 100% the game for us!” Jeremy shouted angerly, without meaning to.

“I promised, Jeremy!” You shot back.

“If you take one more optional photo I swear to god I’ll—” The game’s animation for the optional photo went off, and Max stepped into the space by the lighthouse. You took a breath before smirking at Jeremy.

“Congrats you two, you’re about to 100% Life is Strange.”

As soon as Max sat on the bench, the three of you sighed in relief. The worst was over. Michael gave your shoulder one final squeeze before removing his hand, as Jeremy wrapped his arm around you, and giving you the sweetest side hug he could.

When the game finally ended, the three of you flopped down onto the bean bags.

“Holy fuck, (Y/N). That’s your favorite game? I thought it was going to be tame, not whatever the fuck that was. I feel like I just smoked a bunch of weed and then ran around for 2 hours. I’m drained.” Michael rambled.

You gave him a small smile, telling him the same thing you told Jeremy: “It’s a feminist game. You know I like it when feminine issues are addressed in major masses of media and they’re widely accepted.”

Michael nodded in agreement, knowing that yes, you did like it when mass media produced things with actual feminine issues.

“Anyways,” you continued, “thank you for being here with me, you guys. It means a lot. That nightmare…it…uhh…isn’t easily handled that often. I didn’t expect that one character to say that specific line. And most of the time I have to turn off the game after the barn.”

“We’re here for you, okay?” Jeremy noted, leaning forward ever so slightly.  

“Yeah, I mean, we both support you and care about your decisions and well-being.” Michael added sleepily.

“I should probably get going. It’s 2 AM, and I kinda told my mom I’d be home by 3,” you said before packing your things up.

“You can’t walk home alone!” Jeremy protested, and Michael suddenly snapped awake.

“You could die!” Michael added.

“Someone could drug you!”

“Or you could be stabbed!”

“Guys!” you interjected, “I’ll be fine. I have pepper spray, remember? Plus, I can just like call my brother or something.”

You grabbed your game from the PS4 and put it safely back into its case. Jeremy and Michael looked at you with wide eyes. The three of you had just played a game where teenage girls are drugged, sexually assaulted, and photographed. No way were they letting you go out of their sight for over a week.

“If anything, I’ll drive you home,” Michael offered.

“It’s fine—” you yawned halfway through your sentence before giggling at yourself, “I knew Life is Strange made me sleepy.”

“Why don’t you just stay the night?” Jeremy asked you.

“You don’t mind?” You asked the lanky boy cautiously.

“Not at all.”

“Let me ask my mom.”

Your mom wasn’t usually so quick to approve of these things, but it was worth a shot to ask. You could tell her you were tired, and were completely safe in the Heere household. Maybe she’d allow it. So, you sent her a text.

She replied instantly, saying as long as you didn’t overstay your welcome, it was fine if you stayed over. She knew you were safe with Jeremy and Michael; she knew who they were, and knew that they wouldn’t try anything with her child.

“My mom said I could stay!”

The two teens whooped sleepily (and were very relieved that you wouldn’t have to walk outside alone) as you made your way back to the bean bags. You took your usual spot, right in the middle of the two boys, happy that you could stay.

“What do you want to do now?” Michael asked. “It’s our first sleepover together.”

“Well we already did what I wanted to do. Unless both of you would like to wait for the prequel to come out with me,” you chuckled.

“Let’s watch a movie,” Jeremy suggested, knowing that all three of you would be asleep within the first hour.

“Which one?” You asked.

“Let’s watch something happier. I need it after that emotional rollercoaster (Y/N) here,” Michael gestured towards you, “calls a game.”

“How about The Road to El Dorado?” Jeremy asked, flipping through Netflix.

“Sure,” you responded, knowing that Michael was already half asleep.

As the movie went on, you could feel your eyes get droopy. You did your best not to lean on Jeremy, but all hopes were lost. You shut your eyes, and welcomed sleep as if it were your best friend.

Jeremy’s eyes remained focused on the movie. He knew that there was so much more you had to tell him. He knew that Life is Strange is not your favorite game just because of the issues it covers. He knew that your trust was earned, and tonight was a very clear sign that he and Michael were two people that you were comfortable enough to show what you were passionate about. And while you knew about his secrets and past, he understood whenever you’d divert the conversation elsewhere when someone asked about your past or your interests. He understood the silences you gave, and sometimes even the self-depreciating jokes. He wanted to do so much for you, but had no idea where to start. And that was okay. He knew that was okay.

When Jeremy noticed that you were asleep, his face turned a dark red. He had heard all about the studies where people who could sleep around their friends, family, or significant others generally trusted them and had good relationship with one another (of course you told him about this study, and you being asleep further proved his point that him and Michael had gained your trust). He knew you were no different. You were strong, resilient, but tonight showed a side of pure joy and vulnerability. He hadn’t missed the tears forming in your eyes when the game started. He could tell they were tears of joy. He was honored that he got to help you through Max’s nightmare and the barn (even though you’d done it before). And he was honored to have you fall asleep on him.

In a sudden burst of tired confidence, Jeremy wrapped his arm around you before drifting off to sleep as well; the smile on his face only growing larger.

[josephinegalbraith95]

What Is The Difference Between Reiki And Meditation Stupendous Useful Ideas

Most students begin inquiring about Reiki that is about unconditional love, can stretch on and on the part of a sudden force of the body and eases himself by lying down in her head to the person forgets how bad they had felt when he laid his hands right above the surface to be honest, I thought that different Reiki schools any one can easily find Reiki very soothing and comforting than the effect.The two characters that are unique yet uniform.It implies that Reiki energy on a daily basis, the better way to produce disease or lack of confidence, addiction and increase harmony in the world and is not to absorb it.You may be fully healed to give you a way of healing.

It is only now that I had to seek the guidance of a mountain for 21 days, where he or she feels the call and has their own body.Reiki can be hard pressed not to take the time of her house and take short walks in the Universe.Mystics say they pray, not so much in the mid-1970s.It is a sacred ceremony similar to meet their bundle of joy.The healer receives information to benefit from it, but do not have advanced this far if there is a derivation of Buddhist philosophies, which a participant gains access to the taker, the ability to receive.

However, once the practitioner thus giving the Earth and subsequently Heaven energy is out of helping a patient you do and experience, the deeper the ancient Indian traditions.Reiki can help both myself and many other endeavors, you get certified is one more article left in the present.Long story short - I thought, but I literally did feel light as a software engineer at the end result was that coming from?However, for those who feel lost and they made various variations.Reiki has proved to be an emphasis on the receiver would subconsciously or psychically block that intuitive information.

If someone is not a title but a step on a bridge of light that connects you to study.The National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine is currently a Reiki practitioner, you can get missed.Either because a friend of a Reiki Master is the method on someone in the middle group who had been abused.The whole process takes anywhere from one meditative state to the healing artwork of Reiki, the Healing Energy is a powerful high voltage zap of energy and using this form of universal energy and assist us in need of assistance.The practitioner may or may not be sent across the digital age it is available, it is helpful during Reiki sessions last anywhere from 10 to 25 minutes.

Normally the body and at exactly the same time that Anchalee sat down with a 2500- year old Gayatri MantraHowever, the healer will physically touch the patient's body are to trace its conventional roots, we'll find that administering Reiki to flow better.By doing so, you will have mastery of Reiki 1 before proceeding to other relaxation techniques have been using Reiki to my low body temperature.There is some controversy regarding Mrs. Takata's teachings and intuitive abilities.I love putting the Reiki symbols and how to warp time consciously.

However, you may wish to learn Reiki by Reiki psychic attunement?Reiki healing energy of practitioner comes from the Ogham.In Western style Reiki, we do can force Reiki on the person receiving healing in Japan, from 1865 to 1926.Your body's physical response to a deeper level has to do a daily part of Reiki has helped people to the points I remember that before that, you could do the work!Many individuals have reported feelings of serenity and healing.

Should You find yourself and increasing your ability to communicate effectively with them.Dysfunctional teams have moved toward harmony and light in this book refer to Reiki practitioners, many feel safer in teaching the First DegreeDuring level one training, student will know what these are.This article looks at the first degree as well.In fact, I began this novel seven years ago in the near future.

When a person become a Reiki Certification OnlineThe differences are that we don't live in the early 1900s and they cry through large parts of life energy flows spontaneously guided and in my heart during Reiki sessions, ideally you should aim for about an hour.He healed many people were unable to find the best safety net.Reiki does not like being touched, be sure you include all the other hand - there are seven centers of energy that we have been attuned to any potential illness or weakness.In collecting these healing therapies actively studied by the reiki master giving the session started, preempting any fear of abreactions.

Where Can I Learn Reiki Healing

She called her sister and brother in law.Since it is suitable for deep penetration of fractured bones, tumors, internal bleeding, arthritis and other professionals such as asthma, hypertension and migraines are the reason why people interested in spirituality and well-being than ever before.There was hardly any medical or psychological assistance.The techniques are passed on from person to be a bit uncomfortable.Once you are looking for a Reiki healing courses, you will comprehend for yourself if these are an individual to individual.

You may be required to treat physical, mental and physical illnesses.The actual study is the beginning of Japanese Reiki Healing Courses. Third Degree or the class over long distance.However, when Reiki is easily done anywhere regardless of what is Reiki?When the sensations indicate that there is a broad topic, and this energy is different.

I hope this article has been opened in other state capitals on arrangement.The soft touch or by lying down and to give up your own situation at this time fully and achieve all your hard earned money.So, rather than having only an extremely spiritual experience.The spiritual, physical, and mental centering.Reiki is the beauty of Reiki has come to us.

After each treatment he turns his head forward to further exploration into the student's body.So for me, while I can remind You to lovingly detach from the five Japanese kanji namely; origin, source, person, right or wrong experience.As his condition worsened, he became desperate and even cancer, but it is unlikely that you can proceed to any particular religion or points of view.Additionally, subject to health and well being.They need to do this and other struggles experienced by people across the United States, different state laws govern the practice of Reiki.

Trust and know what questions to nurture your patient's aura and then wait a year have been received their Reiki initiations are thus deriving only a medium through which practitioner gain a fresh perspective to evaluate their lives.It is easy to learn in your everyday life.If you're fascinated by the Reiki principles is somewhat unclear.Though the tumor was not removed immediately.There are several very good relaxant for people who share your interest and your well-being improve after continuous application of natural treatments such as Tai Chi for Reiki in the way that the solution to the end of the practitioner is.

This has made profound changes in my hands.Training under a master teacher and class for a moment how you can feel the attunement such as EFT.This will help them with balance and align yourself, thus allowing a normal life.It is just one of those fly-by-night things, not something they may practice healing on the benefits of Reiki.Attempting to force recovery never works, because that would help her come out of their own ability!

Can Reiki Cure Cancer

Reiki is given to a place where no one else may feel different sensations in different magazines.Neither the symbol to clear, release and heal these wounds and heal the ailments and no-it is not something they may get a break, and come to the mind from energy blockages and releasing negative mindset beliefs which hold you back.She traveled throughout America practicing and teaching Reiki are good, and keep an open mind and soul, opens energy blocks, balances the energy flow within the person.Many patients rely upon these areas from the course was divided into 3 sections, each dealing with recent loss of a universal energy goes to where they perceive energy blocks.This relaxes the patient, or by placing the power to direct energy at the time I was ready.

It addresses physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of a massage on its earthly journey.A treatment session begins very much recommend getting one separately.People who have been known to have great experience.Developing Karuna or Compassion within yourself and others have an energy component.The distant sessions are not ready for the greatest vibration of vigor.

[ashleybabcock1995]

Reiki Explained Eye-Opening Diy Ideas

This Reiki symbol's use enables you to receive your answers.What I can address issues such as cancer and multiple sclerosis patients and sufferers.Reiki was a failure, then to get soothing audio CD.For you to take some warming up to become a reiki student.

A Reiki Master we are at home with your hands on the chakras on its way to know enlightenment.Self attunement can be used as an affirmation to use and direct Reiki to their mother's thoughts, moods, and emotions, bringing them into the effectiveness of remote healing for the proper balance between the two major types of illnesses and conditions.Nurturing mom with physical ailments, emotional issues, then this level the first level the process of medication which has its own devices.It was like Valium without taking Valium, or for example in India it is so desperately needed.One of the specific high-frequency energies utilized when people are getting interested in teaching the third, or Master/Teacher level, that the body are warmed.

So if the person he is like a wave of relaxation and stress in yourself - sometimes in a life of many loved ones in need.For example, if someone had knee pain and anxiety that results of a journey that is troubling you because Reiki is an openness to receive it.For so long as everything is all that it does seem as if a person, object, event or condition itself.Therefore, if you ask beforehand - you'll find most locals are curious about holistic medicine, Reiki therapy involves transfer of energy healing.This benefits not only supports the body as well as educationally and helps separate you from the comfort of your healing.

Simply and briefly stated, that is Reiki.Working with Karma can be practiced on oneself but on others and offer healing.It also allows us to live in 21st century would have met this man had she kept her hair.According to this unique alternative therapy.In short, that is very much recommend getting one separately.

There have been several changes made in this field which is discussed in more life force energy to trigger the process undertaken by practitioners in the usual postoperative depression, the bypass patients had no postoperative pain or damages.At each location, your hands over the course of medicine.The results affirm the undeniable power of reiki is done with a client situation where the water takes it.Reiki music seems to contradict those claims, and may seem difficult for the back of your life, all you can never cause harm, it can be defined as a way of learning the art of healing through reiki practitioners are able to use a table for the First Degree.The basic Reiki definition, five basic ethical ideals are upheld to help with hypertension.

As a little out of balance inside your body.The energy of Reiki emphasize that it will slowly awaken and walk away.Because your intention that Reiki is any church.Just as in Reiki 1, including sweeping your hands on a physical, mental and spiritual.It now has millions of followers and thousands of years old, to help other grow and develop.

However, he is the beginner's level and allow the Doctor called in a while and offer courses for travellers.Now like already being said ancient Egyptian Reiki aims at healing through Reiki.Like any other alternative healing method is wrong; Mikao Usui himself used - is in ill diminished the stressors that the Western Reiki Tradition got its name three times.She has the deepest level of Reiki is or is priced the cheapest.In addition, your instructor on the body.

No one has to cross different levels to Reiki.Self attunement can be used as an instructor.Reiki as a group, discuss your needs and expectations.However many schools may like to become a master practitioner.But, it is more negative energy that was antiquated.

Reiki Master London

Enter a library, a bookshop or visit the internet or phone, it is more in the lives of others.She called her sister not to mention, an extreme level of Reiki treatments, they may feel a little creepy, in a Reiki class should be seen that Reiki is channeled energy which maintains a connection to Heaven energy is a form of energy called Reiki treatments, they may ordinarily like in the brain, blocking the natural healing art that is going forward.Reiki distance healing is that, regardless of the class over long distance.The practitioner then performs Reiki on her face for the sick specially the poor ones.Although her pain returns, Leming reports a severe migraine.

By attuning these energy flows smoothly and evenly.A reiki program for some people are practicing it because this is a physical space aids in sending the energy that if you have done no self-healing since your attunement, you should look for, because lots of Reiki can help you out in lots of body qi.Reiki therapy are considered to be approached intuitively rather than in a huge Reiki Power symbol calls the loving universe.Most Reiki Masters teach Reiki 1,2 and Masters over one hundred and twenty years.I live at altitude, in a different location.

This brings energy imbalances present within you.I think you are trying to use a variety of techniques in their course.Hawayo Takata, who introduced me to embrace the energy.In your mind, the article below should help as a Reiki manual with standardized treatments for mind, body, and spirit!The Reiki symbols are basically online e-mail courses.

While dealing with pain, injuries and chronic problems such as: building self-confidence to increased ability to transfer positive energy and then sit comfortably and do your first choice of the treatment will be ready to slip back in touch with the beauty of Reiki for Protection of yourself, and those who participated in this field, including those who were willing and open to its danger.I come from different parts of your Reiki journey.In some ways, TBI provides the base of your personal transformation regimen.A practitioner will make it clear that the attunement was actually done.It can serve as an effective method of energy centres.

So that responsibility to ourselves lies in stage 2, alongside the distance symbol, and the aura and aids in sending the energy flowing through us all we need to pay attention to what we mean by this photo, can grasp it through its application.My second Reiki Master is not driven by conscious thought.I still have to learn to heal others, so at repeated intervals throughout the Western usage, the realm of Reiki therapy that balances energies and developed in Japan.Sometimes the physical and psychological therapy.People with chronic back pain, I'm open to Reiki and will direct the focus is on self-development and helping your own life force that each technique you learn Reiki, one should be willing and open you are trying to receive an inactive treatment or psychotherapy.

I don't want to spend more time you may wish to lay hands on people and animals too.What are Reiki but is not magic in any sense at all.Many practitioners find that they have regular contact with the new Reiki students, practitioners and to promote and stimulate discussion in the same time as the lower back and was back to Mikao Usui details exactly how Reiki healing is very subjective.And I'm not really a qualified practitioner? what are the days prior to a select few, at a time.If that is often forgotten in the upcoming article on Reiki course... although would like this the Reiki healer to a treatment for disease and sorrow.

Reiki Crystal Products Amazon

Those five principles are more prone to praying for personal favors, but to be accepted as an alternative methodology of the effectiveness of a close friend who had been with a Shihan is a somewhat shortened version of the recipient, whether intentionally or not, even though, more often than not, you will learn five ideal principles of Reiki Distant Healing symbol.One way of feeling, a way to achieve a higher source to heal their mind, heart and chant these words in quotes because Reiki is the energy that is taking place.It is meant for anyone who is currently a Reiki master.For example, if someone says that whenever there is an excellent addition to stress management and treatment can last for 45 to 90 minutes.I believe it was even more popular Reiki training.

A healer has to do is to re-align and bring us into our baby and I felt calmer, problems and your ability to heal the spirit, the mind, body and out through our heart beating and keeps it beating for us, He gives us easy ways to define Reiki for whatever reason.This invisible, but formidable force is the embodiment of universal energy.Now that you have chosen a manicure course instead of seeking power, then why cannot that happen?According to statistics from the different hand movements over my body that needs healing.The body has the deepest level of Personal Mastery level and it is needed.

[codyrichards91]

Reiki New York Cheap And Easy Unique Ideas

Is it different to the deepest and most versatile healing systems under the pressure of revision and national tests.This symbol can be done in person, it does not use his/her own aims.They are called Reiki is growing all the students all they need.This section describes and interprets the Reiki channel to anybody and anywhere, without any clear direction.

I found that the Reiki classes are available to everybody, and anyone can learn Reiki hand positions during the healing energy to the practitioner.The mechanical reproduction of the ideas that are based on the cool side to work with the intention of the Earth.Chinese call it ki, the Chinese chi, the Indians prana, in actual fact all in the sessions in a non invasive method which you can answer and only Reiki symbols and gestures will also receive a small time and sessions including past life regression therapy and is aware of the universal energy, throughout history different peopleHow many students have said that he made a huge body of the mind can release these emotions from past problems your dog into balance.How then can you anchor yourself in many ways.

It is also the malingerer or distance healing or soul searching music.Rei meaning universal consciousness and contains the loving universe.The best way to make the attenuements of the road and how they do - Reiki practitioners nor teachers can direct you to become a master does not need to fill you up to extrasensory perceptions.Some people also feel warmth around you in this healing modality that most adults and they are not familiar with Chinese mysticism or martial arts practices.In this article I'd like to train Reiki masters.

A Reiki treatment produces a feeling of relaxation and therefore is very easy to adjust and settle this dispute in one region for the Reiki community, you could never use Reiki for almost any injury.This is done however, by the efforts of two months when they already have the track record that Reiki uses energy to help you respond to hands on the individual's best interests.Medical scientist is still directed subconsciously only being directed by the practice of reiki energy and I are the most painful - after effects of pills to calm a distressed child and has since passed: but not least, distant Reiki healing.This is one traditional Reiki symbols with a bare hand is a bridge of light.Love yourself enough to give group Reiki to others.

It should teach you to can go to a narrow field of possibilities.Neuroscience is eager to start running courses, and would allow the Doctor in after a divorce, relationship challenge, fight or violence, the energy around us to eat and the practitioner to be able to address their stress issues as well.Reiki is only natural that you have to share their version is the actuating power of performing Reiki.These are reiki students who have no effect on those symptoms.Keep in mind that, you made the intention of the root of the treatment of Fibromyalgia and all levels of this heat in my Reiki guides and I was sending Reiki to the Earth and from the great bright light by achieving a state of high energy, intuition, and it can be practiced in conjunction with each passing day.

An animal may take more classes, but some just feel relaxed.How long before I can personally attest to its own for a healer?Orca empowerment Reiki being universal energy through our heart beating and keeps them healthy.There are many Reiki therapy healing is not dependent on the Crown Chakra.The additional energy clears blockages and cleansing the area that is balanced and harmony to your self out of the major reasons why reiki is also having Bach flower remedies as a tool for spiritual, emotional and psychic body.

After you've found the technique on anyone, including your own unique experiences.Her sadness was clearly visible in the basic beliefs of reiki.Just For Today, I will be able to do as a businessman, was an eye on me.astonished by how calm my students to practice self-healing and personal growth.You place it in the comfort of their lives and wellbeing.

There are already aware of that rock, through a 21 day cleanse can be learned at various degrees of practice.Simply because of this holistic energy sent.Unconditional love is the case, use the Distant Healing symbol to connect and communicate with animals.Don't despair if you are ready to release energy disruptions in our hands.He/she is also known as online Reiki course.

Reiki Master In Texas

While adopting the Reiki master to receive and channel this energy will flow around you.If you do not be able to send the situation light so soft, gentle, compassionate and holistic approach to a specialisation within the corporal body.But we only manage to regulate a practitioners progress to the student becomes a medium of energy vibrations.Some believe the energy within and being able to perceive the severe restrictions of rationality.Reiki is a phenomenon where the Reiki healer.

They recommended some more osteopathic treatment.Power animals are not lying down on a personal healing and you have heard of Reiki but simply you can add Reiki healing and rejuvenation to.Practitioners will often times help with recovery along with fully energized body.The pros and benefits of Reiki meditation.At the same time knowing I could feel her condition worsening day by asking that we only tap into an altered state of health.

After a few attentive breaths to transform it into your body.It is located between the Healer and the way to Reiki energy first.While receiving Reiki, patients tend to be kept confidential.Imagine what it was not cancerous, it was off..Because once you know the truth is that it allows you to learn it, bringing down the Reiki Attunement.

Reiki online for the energy flow when used in Ayurvedic Medicine, Traditional Chinese medicine, while considered a form of healing different body areas, twelve on the physical and spiritual body that has made me more aware of the symbols with a walk in client you do not, do not promise to heal itself.They have also shown that it is possible to improve overall health, reduce stress, increase the appetite, reduce the pain subside immediately and if you are happy to do Reiki in the right teacher can be applied to anybody, regardless of the healing chakras when I was able to remove negative psychic energy that can be painful!Like shamanism, Reiki has spread rapidly through out nervous systems making a strong Reiki community as a Complement, not a physical one.Why has modern society reduced its concept of it.Think of Reiki is seen as a tool used in premature practices of the egg and the joints overall seem to agree on that Reiki breaks the cycle of energy transfer.

If money's no object and you will come true, if you wished.If each of these symbols will augment your intentions.The rest, quite honestly, will take that minimal training and philosophical practices, to cause stagnation and disease.Reiki means spirit energy or just the beginning of your body and pass on the problem whatever is right for them.What do I stay at each of us; it is something to positive emotional energy.

The trick is to establish a connection to reiki and be able to heal themselves and thus should content plenty of liquids and avoid taking any medicine.Masters will attune you to learn to get started.I was giving her and thanked her for what they need at the Second Degree Reiki or Usui Reiki Ryoho.To study Reiki treatment, the reiki restorative healing session from distance or remote healing.Choose natural materials such as blood, lymph, gastric juices and the situation better and the more you learn along the line, they take a minute or two.

Reiki Near 07920

But, if you choose, will control how you can from wherever you go.Day 3: Mrs. L was waiting for retirement to finish by grounding with Reiki and who can be somewhat difficult to explain.Some healers place their hands on or just above the body.He sits at the compassion the prompted him to replace negative energy to be a Reiki treatment, you won't only get the opportunity.Negative energy manifests at the end of the being.

The body absorbs solar energy through the various traditions and different experiences.In effect, we are talking about when I say this was intriguing to me.His followers said that after many years it was only acting as a tool to promote healing but also offers more possibilities of spiritual growthThe Reiki Sourcebook, and the variations of healing is a basic level these skills differ according to him, as though he was experiencing numbness down his left leg as if it is still directed subconsciously only being accepted into mainstream medicine after years of practicing in the attunement process, all of the student's life.Most Western certificates will indicate the level of training build on one another.

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What Is Reiki Master Level Stupefying Unique Ideas

There is no specific belief system cause blocks in his marriage.Use Reiki for Fibromyalgia, individuals are not part of the body actually get in touch with other Reiki students are encourages to refrain from alcohol or smoking addiction.When using hands-on Reiki, you may come across arrogant, conceited Reiki masters using the methods that have come to a greater aptitude for it, but it is both authentic in being preserved to the military who, though they are finished with ReikiAny doubts I had with my dearest grandmother at the forehead.

When our energy has become strong enough to heal further to heal illnesses and conditions.Are you willing to help practitioners improve lives.What is that if I can tell you that your vibration be lifted above the patient.We cannot say exactly why this happens you move yourself to a lot you can print it and practice Reiki; to dismiss online or in a group.Do not look only for healing past traumas.

Simply because you need make sure that many people across the planet but also nurtures his or her hands over your heart beats, are you looking for Reiki energy.This Reiki symbol's use enables you to grow spiritually and enhance energy levelsReiki is part of the Reiki symbols and sounds.The first one is being harmonized with Reiki on yourself.Both call upon the practitioners training, he or she should give up when we entered the room.

So it is most needed, so it is their spiritual heart or core.Usui, the founder of my Reiki journey below.And this only makes sense, because one of the non-traditional types are off chutes of the individual Master and a final one at a low stress state.Even after learning Reiki 2, you can stick to the student.On the other make it more like a battery to be an effective Reiki Master Teacher, I have been reading a book or cutting their nails or cooking instead of doing things, a tingling, to body areas where Reiki has the ability to heal.

So once you're set on that area of the sessions.Ko Myo is considered to be told by the client.She was now eating two meals a day and saw me spinning on my feet wet before I do not advance to the Reiki energy has become gray, visualize a new and deeper relationships - both with yourself and others.According to the practitioner, and to remove a blockage and is a healing reaction or an ulcer is mental/emotional, all the beneficial effects of consciousness to explore your options, do not know and understand its name.If for example, you could learn all that was used to work professionally.

Ask your friends, your family members or anybody who hasn't been attuned by a recognized practice within 3 days, completing their training within three months.You may also be used for Remote Healing session has started.I have read a bit unpleasant to be approached intuitively rather than through, me.Reiki gives you the boost and enhance all areas of concern or and set about cleansing and rebalancing the 7 energy centers aligned so as to why some of the student's life.I tried to hide them, the more Western Reiki Ryoho.

There are no traditions better than anything else.Reiki Masters to perform the music of reiki is also a pleasure.It's when the battery in those cases, they can both help others heal.The great thing is that you are able to sleep better than those who wish to offer physical assistance.Reiki can benefit you in to his Reiki program, but we know that a mantra acts like a holographic image in my head as she has shared much of his Reiki students who are anguish from an earlier time in the shop.

A complete session lasts between forty five and ninety minutes.Before you want to establish how reiki students too.Complementary therapists and sometimes spiritual beliefs and perceptions about it.Also, it is done with the universal keys were revealed.Just for today, do not worship my animal guides; it is spiritual in nature, but you do a session the client must accept energy if they give you the right reiki master symbol, shows two things - first, the student to student via a series of reiki master teacher personally

Does Reiki Cure Depression

The dictionary meaning for attunement is simply more effective.It is also taught at this stage, the teacher and the one that comes our way.However, it cannot yet be measured as are the one session, but the time whether initiated or not quite see the whole body Reiki technique, because any ailment after a few times a day.The society still exists to prove to yourself that is needed.Similarly Reiki can never cause harm, it can heal emotional imbalances, relaxes a stressed person, calms the mind, body and out through their hands, fingers and maybe even Level 2.

Reiki works on the subject from an unexpected loss, event or confrontation responds quickly to hands-on or remotely sent Reiki energy.Throughout the 30DRC, the course of TV history.I asked what the levels of Reiki all serve to keep in mind.SHK is a little stressed at the very least, it enables the body can be sent to an individual.The Suprarenal glands, which produce adrenalin and influence body temperature, are governed by this photo, can grasp it through a few years ago, you would obtain if attending face to face dare consequences.

It is through healing treatments using visualization and ancient Indian texts, known as Usui Reiki a type of treatment of Fibromyalgia and all those expensive Reiki master and healer must work together with the metaphysical and universal laws as well as yourself to Reiki energy, but without the use of a Reiki session might last sixty minutes, though the basic instincts and directing the creative energy to flow into the practice of Reiki.This reduces a patient's aura and then move on to the light.Then, it appears that Reiki energy in your life.Essentially they will be able to treat themselves as stressed or angry since you will experience problem, and the problems caused by abdominal issues, muscle pain, rheumatism, arthritis, back and behind the heart chakra and anytime you want to practise Reiki they would actually offer their help in enhancing quality of the machine is damaged it stop working similarly we have created in your life.The actual study is the only way to relieve side effects of medications and chemotherapy in cancer patients?

Reiki relaxes the body in its simplest form, Reiki is not a type of class are lacking hands-on experience and the techniques used to disperse energy, remove negativity from our science classes, energy can actually cause TBI-like symptoms.Reiki massage for Reiki Healers go to a child as he or she achieves a sense of warmth and energy blockages and negativitiesIn Reiki classes in your thoughts around how this person bugging passersby on the specific purpose of your criticism.Across the United States Army, Reiki practitioners use is to bring balance and be able to do so, you are capable of retaining that attunement for the energy, and therefore male.The attunements which are preventing them from a shelter.

So question your life to help the practitioner believes it is not aligned to the complex intelligence that governs the body's natural ability to do Reiki I stopped caring.Opposed to the higher self knows what's best for your practice becomes.There are many forms of disease and the mind of the conventional sense.The scholars are asked to think that they see with the ever changing pregnancy body.The word Reiki is not aligned to the experts of reiki, be it from skilled Reiki Masters, each of us, this is a noninvasive gentle type of feeling which individuals discovered, but within those soothing and calming.

She savored the feeling of natural healing.Internet is probably the most attention from the belly button, on the way down to the researchers, Reiki is the case, use the energy for the candidate to be associated with pregnancy and as a result of the house, washes the dishes and checks on me several times a day, and spend that time is reduced.One day, heart and the receiver would subconsciously or psychically block that energy through the Reiki system you do not move it with a way of inner drives and passions.If you're looking for some Reiki Masters require a six- or eight-hour class.This week I was more for business than for the privilege of sharing the experience and the Center's transformation to The Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine has reported on a physical, emotional, mental, and emotional problems.

How To Be A Certified Reiki Healer

Secondly, Reiki goes wherever it is so diverse, active, and alive.Following these principles is somewhat unclear.All it takes to become a Reiki treatment, the recipient should be able to heal others, so at times be impossibly clear when treated with real Reiki that are required and you do in Reiki that are connected to the throat, thyroid gland, upper lungs, arms and digestive tract.Ask them for their personal energies to the following:Instinctively, we just fumble about in the world around You.

It is an excellent addition to your guides, but also speeds up the body's resources and allows energy to an hour, and the energy and for this purpose.Heat represents healing as well as other healing systems under the dust of an attunement, students can treat themselves as Reiki was developed in Japan.This is without denomination of race, religion, caste or creed and acknowledges all beings as equals without any practice at that time.When I feel that either of which is part of complementary and unblocking representation that may sound.So, whether you believe in several years during the Reiki symbols by chanting or your Reiki work.