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allsassnoclass · 3 years ago

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hi hazel I hope you're having a nice day! i was wondering if you could rec me some malum fics? length does not matter. i know I would have probably read most of them but i read most of the malum stuff before i made my ao3 so i can't even remember the ones i read and i would Love to read good ones whether i've already read them or not. i've said 'read' way too many times now avzcfhrb. in any case i would love to see what would make it on a hazel malum rec list! thank you i hope that's not annoying 🥰 -taylor<3

omg taylor did you know that you are the first person to ask me for fic recs like this. i'm very excited tbh. some of my favorite malum fics located below!

every malum rec list i make is going to start with make me a promise here tonight by @calumcest what can I say I just love this fic. so cute and very them yknow.

“Calum,” Michael says, walking into the bunk area and stopping in front of Calum’s bunk. “Cal.”

“What?” Calum asks, not looking up from his phone.

“I think we should get married.”

as for other helen fics, I also rec dancing with the demons (holy spirit, holy spirit), you're already the voice inside my head (i feel like this one might be up your alley specifically), it should be criminal that you could be mine, the first time i've seen love (and the last i'll ever need), and we know this is the way it's supposed to be

(unfortunately I haven't read these ones recently enough to know if there's alc in them or not)

another one of my absolute favorites is i got you right where i want you by @calumsclifford. very cute and sweet, although alcohol warning for the third section

“Next year. I’m going to plan you the cutest fucking anniversary you’ve ever seen in your life.” “It’s just a day,” Michael laughs. “It’s a day that means something, though. Let’s do something big, okay?"

or, 5 times Michael and Calum’s anniversary went wrong and one time it didn’t

also, and i breathe disaster, ever after (the winter soldier au) and it's no coincidence my hand fits perfectly in yours (cute 5+1 Valentine's day)

wake up with by asymmetric is one of my absolute favorites as well

Calum had been under the lights for ten minutes and he was already sweating.

(in which they film a lyric video and familiar things gain new meanings)

Yes, you make my life worthwhile by lumoon33 is nice and cute

"Hey Calum?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

i'm loving what you got by asymmetric is also super cute

Michael accidentally (sort of) kisses Calum in Nashville and Calum realizes a few things.

Fallingforyou by ercareyes is also cute

Michael is five years old when he discovers his fascination with love.

Or alternatively:

Michael falls in love every day and falls out of love just as quickly. Calum is always there to catch him.

Love (and other acts of madmen) by TempestRising is actually one of my favorites, but the malum is very light in it due to the circumstances of the fic

...every nerve Michael has is on edge and his brain won't stop screaming Calum Calum Calum and his hands are still red, and there's still blood under his fingernails from where he cradled Calum's body before they tore them apart. "Well honey," the nurse says, "if you've got a god I'd start praying. You might be here a while."

Or: Calum gets shot at a concert.

big fan of @escapesos Peyton's work, today I'm going to shout out sure as hell the happiest i've ever been

“Why Vegas?” Calum asks.

Michael shrugs, trying to play it off but he can’t help the truth slipping out. “It seemed kind of romantic.”

“Gambling and Elvis impersonators are romantic to you?”

malum take a spontaneous trip to vegas. and they get married. spontaneously.

also so say that i'm a rainbow (and tell me that I'm bright)

“Of course I want to, I’d love nothing more than to share what we have with the world. But only if you want to.”

Maybe there’s something familiar in Michael’s eyes that settles Calum. It’s the way he’s looking at him, he thinks, because it’s the way he’s been looking at him since they were 15 and didn’t know what they were doing with anything. The eyes looking back at him are the same eyes he fell for all those years ago. It’s just Michael.

“I want to.”

mali-koa writes a pride song. michael and calum use it to come out.

from Bella @clumsyclifford we have the malum section of spidy!au, latest nostgalgia, or happily ever after

Calum’s not cute.

Well, okay, Calum is cute, but that’s not something a straight guy should be thinking about, and — Michael’s not straight, but he’s trying to keep that particular fact on the down-low, so he can’t really speak to it. Still, objectively speaking, Calum is cute, and Calum is talking, and if Michael were the type to get distracted by cute boys talking, he’d be fucked.

He blinks. Calum’s watching him.

“Sorry?” Michael echoes. “I missed that last part.”

also by Bella, a part of my heart that you'll never change

Then they release an album, and that blows up, and then Calum somehow convinces management that they should go to Brazil for the World Cup, which is weird because Michael is pretty sure they’re scheduled to play the Where We Are Tour for, like, all of the World Cup, except apparently the Switzerland show has been conveniently cancelled (not convenient for the Swiss, though, Michael guesses), and that leaves them with a comfortable three-day window.

They go to Brazil.

i know this whole damn city thinks it needs you is the amazing superhero au by @igarbagecannoteven

But when Calum had become apprentice to the city’s biggest superhero two months ago, a lot of things changed. The main one was their nights. Instead of staying up doing homework and hanging out until they both crashed into their respective beds, Calum would slip out their window to save the day and catch the bad guys, and Michael would lay awake in bed until Calum returned, paralyzed with the fear that some night Calum wouldn’t come back at all.

the creek walk small talk series by @cringeycal is awesome, i love adri's writing style

Seeing a stranger’s footprint in his spot rips apart the imaginary curtain Michael’s woven between his creek and the rest of the world. Right now, he needs that curtain fully intact and drawn tightly shut.

A splash louder than the average rush of the creek comes from off to Michael’s left, downstream. He doesn’t bother looking. He knows who it is.

“Rough day?” asks Calum, sitting cross-legged on the ground next to the log, halfway in the water.

I could sift through works by various other writers we both know to find more but these are the ones coming to mind right now!

#ask #taylor #fic rec #malum #i feel like there's less malum out in the world than there used to be #i feel like people used to write them more #it's probably less that malum isn't being written and more that other pairings have become more popular around it #so malum isn't being written less the others are just being written more #which makes me feel better about having two malum fics in the oven right now #gotta ensure that they're equally represented in current fic stats

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snowdice · 5 years ago

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Gaps in His Files (Part 10) [Relabeled; Refiled Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Patton

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton

Appear: Remy, Virgil (but only in the epilogue)

Summary:

Logan Berry has learned many things the last 10 years: a lot of math and physics, a bit of humility, and how to be a hero being just a few. Through his education, his experience teaching, and his exploits as the superhero Bluebird, he’s changed in a lot of small and large ways. He has recorded these changes in well-organized documents and files. He’s even had to create two new file designations: a red one for files about his moonlighting at Bluebird, and a light blue one dedicated to his boyfriend, Patton.

When Bluebird is targeted by a memory device and all of those 10 years of progress suddenly disappear, Patton Sanders and Logan’s extensive files are left as his only resource to get those memories back. But what is Patton supposed to do when there are clear gaps in his files? And what does he do when he is one of them?

This is set 25 years before Sometimes Labels Fail though it’s story is completely independent of it and it is not necessary to read that one first.

Notes: Superhero AU, memory loss, past child abuse, past child neglect, unhealthy ideas about ones place in relationships, emotional suppression, self-deprecating thoughts, medical procedures mentioned, very brief unhealthy views of sex

I feel as though I should make a statement in Logan’s defense before you read this. There is a thing called unreliable narration and... our narrator is spiraling.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

“I have to go to work today,” Patton said Friday morning. “I am trusting you enough to not attempt to go to school like yesterday if for no other reason then so you don’t embarrass yourself.”

Logan nodded and Patton didn’t think he’d gotten his point totally across yesterday, but he thought Logan would probably not do anything today since on Fridays he only had to attend two classes and not teach or meet one-on-one with anyone.

“Good,” Patton said, biting his lip. Logan was distracted with one of his personal files and wasn’t looking at him. He’d been quiet yesterday after Patton had dragged him back from the college. He’d stopped asking Patton questions about himself or really talking to Patton at all, instead choosing to stew in his ire in silence. He read the book Patton got him and was civil when he needed something from Patton or when Patton asked something out of him, but his discontent with Patton’s presence was written all over his face. ‘Maybe I don’t want what I built’ echoed in the silence between them. It really sucked to know that Logan could so easily learn to hate him. “Bye then. I’ll see you later.” He shut the door to the apartment behind him.

He drove to the hospital in a daze of emotional numbness and sat in his car in the parking lot, staring at the tall building for almost 15 minutes with a tight feeling in his stomach before finally forcing himself into the building.

He had been hoping that having something to keep his mind busy with would help him feel better, but it just seemed to make things worse. It made the gaping hole in his chest widen and widen until it threatened to consume all of him. When he went to check on a patient’s wound, he felt like he could throw up despite the fact that he was long past being grossed out by medical things. It just kept getting worse and worse as Patton worked mechanically through the morning. Talk to patients, smile at coworkers, take vitals. Don’t rest. Don’t feel. Don’t break. Break and someone dies.

“Patton,” a voice called as the lunch hour crept closer. Patton turned to see Remy rushing down the hallway towards him. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I have a shift,” Patton replied blankly. He tried to turn away from him because a friendly face was the most dangerous thing right now, but Remy grabbed his arm. “What do you want Remy?” Patton asked, refusing to look at him. There was a pause before he was tugged on and yanked into a hall closet.

Patton rounded on him once the door closed behind them, a bit of it leaking, just not in any way that would actually help. Instead, it came out in a way that would likely just make it worse when the guilt hit later. “What?” he snapped harshly.

Remy didn’t respond for a long moment, just leaning against the opposite wall of the closet with a frown on his face. Patton bristled under the scrutiny.

“I heard Bluebird got beamed by a memory gun.”

“Yes, I’m sure everyone knows that by now,” Patton replied scathingly.

Remy again didn’t react to the harshness in his tone. He just nodded. “Bet that’s hard for people who know him personally,” he said.

“What do you want?” Patton said and this time it came out more wobbly than harsh.

Remy sighed. “Patton go home.”

Patton shook his head and could feel pressure building up behind his eyes.

“Patton this is not the place for you today. I’ll tell Bev you’re sick. Just leave.”

“I…” Patton stuttered. “I can’t. I…” he started to shake, bursting at the seams. “I can’t,” he gasped, and he didn’t think he was talking about how he couldn’t leave work anymore. Remy leaned forward to tug him into a hug and Patton shattered like a window in a hurricane.

He could hear Remy saying things to him, but he couldn’t make out anything of the words except the soft sympathetic tone.

“A little girl fell out of the window,” he blurted out, unable to keep it in anymore, “and she was so tiny and so hurt and I had to cut into her with a knife so I could try to put her bones back together right and if I did anything wrong she might not ever be able to move right again. She could’ve died on the operating table and it would have been my fault. I shouldn’t have been the one to do it. Why did they pick me to do it? I’m not any good at this. I shouldn’t be here. I’ve just gotten lucky and one day someone isn’t going to wake up that should have and they’re all going to know how much of a fuck up I am. I can’t do anything right. I pretend and pretend to be good at things and nice and perfect but it’s all just an act and eventually everyone’s going to see it and they’ll all hate me. No one loves me and no one should love me and everyone who thinks they love me will eventually find out the truth and leave me because I can never be good enough no matter how hard I try.”

“Woah, hey, that’s not true Patton,” Remy said looking alarm. He was trying to wipe the tears off his face with his sleeve, but more just replaced them the next moment. “That’s so very not true. You’re not a screw up. You’re a great doctor and you’re not faking anything. So many people love you for you including me.”

Patton just shook his head. “You don’t know me,” he cried. “You don’t know me at all. The only person who I’ve ever even let really known me is Logan and I love him so much, but he doesn’t love me back, because I’m not good enough. And now he hates me.”

“No, no, Pat,” Remy said. “I know you’ve probably had a rough couple of days, but that man absolutely adores you. He could never hate you no matter what. He’s a dork who’s afraid of his feelings sometimes and he gets all pissy with strangers, but I know he doesn’t have it in him to hate you. No version of him ever could.”

Patton just laughed. “No. He doesn’t love me. Not really.”

“He does, babe. I promise he does.”

“I proposed to him,” Patton said. He managed to steady his voice, but tears were still streaming down his face. “He said no.”

Remy blinked and his mouth gaped open for a moment. “When…?”

Patton sniffled. “Two months ago.” It had been a soul draining, humiliating experience.

“How do you feel about marriage?” Patton had asked one day in bed after staying in Logan’s apartment for the third time that week. He had been thinking about it for a while and that day he’d blinked open his eyes to see Logan staring at him with the softest expression he’d ever seen on the man’s face and then Patton had been slowly and thoroughly kissed the rest of the way awake. It hadn’t even led to sex that morning, but Patton had thought he wanted to wake up like that every day forever.

“Marriage?” Logan had asked in response with a lilt to his tone that had made Patton swallow.

“Yeah,” he’d replied, “uh, specifically you marrying me.”

“Are you saying you want to marry me?”

“I… yes,” he’d admitted, but felt the need to backtrack, “but only if you want to.”

There had been a long pause and Patton had felt his heart shatter in it. “Give me some time?” he’d asked, but Patton had known that meant no. They had been dating for three years and he knew Logan had likely already made his decision about Patton long ago. He didn’t need more time. He was quick at making decision and he rarely went back on them. Patton had known him saying that meant Logan didn’t think Patton was good enough. That he hadn’t loved him enough to want to wake up next to him every morning. Patton had felt tears prickling at his eyes which wasn’t fair to him, so he’d turned away.

“Of course, sweetie,” he’d said as steadily as possible and that had been the end of the conversation.

“So yeah,” Patton continued in the present. “There’s something wrong with me and I… I don’t know what. If I did, I’d change it, but I can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s just all of me. Maybe he’s too smart and can see through all of the acts and knows how horrible I really am inside.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Remy said and leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead. “You are wonderful. I promise. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Want me to slap Logan for you? That might fix the problem.”

Patton chuckled darkly. “Which problem?” Remy grabbed his face and made him look him in the eyes.

“You need to go home,” he said firmly. “You need to take a bath and eat some ice cream and watch a sad movie so you can pretend you’re crying about that. Okay?”

Patton didn’t respond, just averted his eyes.

“Come on Pat,” Remy cajoled, “nurses orders.”

Patton smiled just a bit. “I’ll take the day off,” he conceded.

Remy frowned probably because he could tell that Patton was not going to follow the rest of his instructions because Patton was too rotted on the inside to listen to anyone’s advice.

He let Remy deal with telling people he’d be gone for the day and headed back to Logan’s apartment.

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 11

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #tsss #superhero au #memory loss #past child abuse #past child neglect #emotional suppression #self deprecation #gaps in his files #labeled universe #relabeled; refiled #adriana writes

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nerolith · 4 years ago

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It’s your fault that I am mean now: all the oh lalala questions please~!

1. Top turn on? Being shown I am wanted. I should add by the particular individual that wants me and I want them is a top turn on.

2. Last time you had sex with the opposite gender? Few weeks ago.

3. Last time you had sex with the same gender? That is even longer I was in my early 30's

4. Last time you masturbated? Every day. Usually in the shower easy clean up haha.

5. What’s the weirdest thing that has turned you on? Dammit... The thought of having sex on top of a horse while it wanders in the back nine.

7. What’s the weirdest kind of porn you’ve watched? Pirate porn haha.

8. How often do you masturbate/have sex? Sex isn't often. I masturbate everyday if I am up for it.

9. Have you ever taken nude pictures? Close enough to being nude?

10. Dom or Sub? I'm Dominic Toretto

11. Is pain a good thing? Only if there is a want for it.

12. Do you like biting? Hahem I do.

13. Do you like scratching? Not skin breaking hard.

14. Are you slightly horny right now? I'm a guy what does that tell you? Haha.

15. Are you very horny right now? Haha

16. Do you like face fucking? If the other individual was into it.

17. 10 of your biggest turn ons?

Dammit again, 10? Should I give a novel of exactly how to turn me on? Haha

Don't most of these questions give away turn ons?

18. Do you cook naked? I have and likely will again.

19. Do you like foreplay? Love it.

20. Have you had a vaginal orgasm? Erhm no.

21. Do you like sex with women? I do.

22. Do you like sex with men? I do.

23. Would you have sex with a trans* person? Yes, a feeling is a feeling.

24. Do you like your nipples played with? Sure? Can't say I've had it done to really know. Haha.

25. Do you like your lips bitten? Of course, it releases the excitement don't you think?

26. Do you like to kiss with tongue? I do.

27. How often do you masturbate? Wasn't this established already? Haha.

28. Have you masturbated while someone else was in the room? Hm I haven't.

29. Would you have sex with a married person? If they were married to me.

30. Would you have sex with a couple/multiple people? That would depend on how my partner would feel on it. Being single? Not sure to be honest haha.

31. Do you go outside naked? If it was private setting where I could I likely would.

32. Do you like being woken up with sex? Never had it happen, perhaps start with oral.

33. Do you give oral? I do.

34. Would you let someone eat off of you? Haha what? Sure? If they wanted to?

35. What is the youngest/oldest you would sleep with? No younger than 30 and up that is just a number. For the most part.

36. Do you like having drunk sex? I haven't been drunk in years I don't know.

37. Do you enjoy wearing lingerie? No.

38. What is your favorite thing about sex? From start till finish and after.

39. What is your favorite sexual setting? Basically anywhere as long as we are both sexual? Haha?

40. Would you ever fool around in a movie theater? Given the opportunity why not?

41. Would you ever make a porno with your bf/gf? Likely not.

42. Would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf? Sure?

43. Do you like it rough or sensual?: would depend on the mood and treatment of it. Haha.

44. Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both? It is all on who I like and gain that feeling for doesn't matter what their sex will be.

45. How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger? Never.

46. How do you feel about one night stands? I am not against them. Sometimes they happen.

47. Do you prefer to make love or fuck? Both

48. Have you ever watched porn while having sex? Yes.

49. How long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed? As long as the moment calls for it.

50. Do you like kissing during sex? Yes.

51. Does size matter? Erhm.

52. How many sexual partners have you have in the last month? 1

53. What does your favorite foreplay include? The usual, toys.

54. Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it? I've given it and I like it.

56. Do you ever worry about how you’re pleasing your partner? Listen to them? Listen to their body and you should have a problem.

57. Could you live without sex? No.

58. How long does a typical sexual episode last for you? Again depends on the person and mood.

59. Do you like to perform oral sex? I do.

60. Do you like to receive oral sex? I do.

61. Have you ever taped yourself in the act? Never.

62. Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some? I haven't.

63. Have you ever been caught in the act? Also no.

64. Have you ever had sex while on drugs? I do not do them.

65. Would you let other people watch you have sex live? No.

66. Do you ever have sex in the shower? I have yes.

67. What was the biggest age difference with a partner? 10 or something like that.

68. Do you feel your up to par in bed? With out a doubt.

69. What was your most embarrassing sexual moments? I don't have any surprisingly I know haha.

70. Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back? I'm very tall so it would be where ever is more comfortable.

71. Do you wear protection as often as you should? If I need too I will.

72. Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you? Does that matter?

73. Have you ever done bondage sex (chains ,whips, etc.)? I've tied a individual down before.

74. Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life? That isn't for the world or myself to name.

75. If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be? That is confidential between myself and if the other individual knows or not.

Ţhåņķ ýøů

#å§ķ #ņęřö

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luminara · 5 years ago

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Soukoku

A Love Like War by psychncislover (37,883 - ongoing)

The city of Yokohama was maintained by two Mafia Families. When an enemy targets the Nakahara Family, they find their only hopes lies in an alliance... with their greatest enemy, the Tsushima Family. But their help comes with a price - a marriage between the two heirs! Will both sides survive not only this enemy, but each other?

Only Human by TheGeatCatsby (62,143 - complete)

Shortly after the defeat of Mimic, Dazai Osamu leaves the Port Mafia. Wanting to take advantage of the situation, the government sends Nakahara Chuuya to gain his trust.

carve your love into my skin by Dont_Wake_The_Writer (64,820 - ongoing)

Chuuya looks underneath Dazai's bandages without his permission. What he finds underneath changes everything.

can the city forgive by erytheia (27,658 - ongoing)

Chuuya knows he’s so so close, fingertips just barely brushing the possibilities between them. But Dazai’s the one calling the shots again, and he’s yanking it away, out of Chuuya’s grasp, taking absolute control before Chuuya even knows he’s given it up. Every single facet of their relationship is one-sided, both of them too blind and too stubborn to stop for a second and consider what’s on the other side of the wall between them before they try to tear their way through it.

A Dandy In The Underworld by idontevenlogic (72,606 - ongoing)

Dazai presented the white candle with one hand and stretched his other hand out towards Chuuya. “My life to defend until your bitter end! Through the fire and iron of Hell, I order you to walk with me! I name you—”

Dazai’s eyes fluttered open as a tired smile spread across his lips at the sight of Chuuya’s impossibly stormy eyes widening with the realization of what specific spell the executive was performing. Nearly falling, the Wellspring altered his course in an attempt to flee from the range of the spell, but the power of the sigil’s pull had already latched onto him like a noose and began to pull him back towards Dazai, despite his wounded hollering and ceaseless writhing.

“—I name you, Nakahara Chuuya, my familiar!”

* * *

Or: Nakahara Chuuya returns to Yokohama and is forced into aiding the Port Mafia in helping them capture a mysterious, dangerous hacker from a checkered past. Along the way, he has to adjust to his new life as the familiar to the most infamous warlock in all of Yokohama: the one and only Dazai Osamu.

of bells, coffees, and love in between by KyuBaisu (40,398 - complete)

Chuuya just wants to eat with his sister, but he ends up wearing a gown, make-up, and high-heels in a fake wedding.

Dazai just wants to see the girl from the advertisement he did years ago, the girl with the ginger hair, blue eyes, and a never disappearing annoyed expression.

A Collision of Fates by dgalerab (83,603 - complete)

Dazai Osamu has always known his fate - to become the vessel of the Hollow God, a god hellbent on reuniting with Its lover, the Tainted God, and wreaking havoc on the world.

But that doesn't mean he can't try going on a last ditch effort of a quest trying to stop it from happening.

hide the truth by writingfromtheshadows (24,611 - complete)

When Chuuya wakes up in the middle of an ongoing fight without any memory of how he got there or what happened to him, he ends up turning to someone saved as 'bandage-waster' in his phone. Somehow, it just feels like the right decision.

Gifted by TheGreatCatsby (28,863 - ongoing)

The government's experiments with genetics to induce "gifts" in children is a well-kept secret. Dazai is sent to infiltrate one of the facilities and gather information. He is assigned to be the nurse of one of the facility's oldest and most successful experiments.

Message Received by hellosweetie17 (26,579 - ongoing)

Late for work, Chuuya collides with a stranger on the sidewalk. A stranger who happens to be annoying, frustrating, flirtatious, and even worse—gorgeous. Thanks to a tricky sleight of hand, their encounter leads to Chuuya texting the wrong number.

Dazai Osamu begrudgingly finds happiness (It's a long road) by BlueFlameSakura (34,810 - ongoing)

Dazai Osamu had never even dreamt about this happening to him, not even his worst nightmares could compare to this. To being married off to some stupid alpha prince as a mockery of a peace offering.

North- and South-Yokohama had been at war for several centuries now, and as much as the brunette would like a bit more of the tranquility peace between their nations would provide, couldn't it have been done with someone else? Or in another few decades?

Well, apparently not.

How to Hornswoggle Death by SecretlyACatLady (20,544 - ongoing)

This wasn't what Chuuya had in mind when he hoped for a big haul. ----- In which Chuuya is a fisherman with an adventurous past and Dazai is a merman who tries to bully Chuuya into killing him.

keep you alive, set you on fire by flyby (23,574 - complete)

Dazai steps out in a dress and heels for a mission, since the gown won't fit Yosano. He's only supposed to spend an hour or so leading their targets on a dance around a charity gala, but the unexpected arrival of a certain Port Mafia Executive threatens to disrupt all his plans. And when he and Chuuya find themselves finally face to face, they end up entwined in a tense game of mutual provocation...

bad enough for you by Maristella (28,555 - complete)

There are two reasons why Chuuya tolerates Dazai: 1.) The god inside Chuuya hates him; 2.) Chuuya definitely hates the god more than the stinking demon mackerel.

Or, alternatively, that one time Dazai and Chuuya swaps abilities, and Arahabaki was never the same.

360 degrees by setosdarkness (11,060 - complete)

Chuuya gets cursed by an Ability that forces him to eternally live out his biggest regret. Unlike the other victims who end up killing themselves or hurting others, Chuuya goes into a coma.

For his biggest regret is—

[groundhog day AU with a twist, where Chuuya relives the day Dazai leaves the Port Mafia over and over and over and over]

black /// reciprocity set by setosdarkness (3,363 - complete)

Soulmate AU where your soulmate mark will only appear on your skin once you’ve fallen in love with your soulmate.

Chuuya has Dazai’s name on his neck while Dazai’s skin is bare of any names.

partners by setosdarkness (27,746 - ongoing)

Chuuya realizes that he’s been married to Dazai since they’re 15: The Fic.

Featuring: wedding fairs, faked marriage registries, angry calls to newspaper agencies for unsolvable crosswords, fake leather couches, love epiphanies and falling in love, not necessarily in that order.

This Way Lies Madness by setosdarkness (41,338 - ongoing)

It’s supposed to be simple. Go in, hand over the questionnaires, wait a few minutes, take the answered questionnaires, get the fuck out. Chuuya should have known, with his shitty luck, that nothing’s ever going to be simple for him.

(—the one where Chuuya inadvertently catches the attention of quite possibly the worst serial killer in history, Dazai) (—police-trainee!Chuuya, inmate!Dazai)

our hearts steeped in hate by setosdarkness (10,202 - ongoing)

Needing to kiss your soulmate to stay alive sounds romantic in context, but absolutely shitty in reality if you’re bound to someone you despise with all your heart and soul.

The act of being human by purplesan (31,457 - complete)

‘This is Chuuya Nakahara, your new caretaker.’ his mother stated. Dazai’s eyes only widened in shock.

‘A robot?’

‘Kind of a degrading term, but yes; a robot.’

Dazai’s glaring only intensified. ‘I don’t need some pathetic excuse of a toy as a caretaker. No one can replace Odasaku anyway. Couldn't you have gotten me a pet instead?’

Chuuya didn’t seem to be affected by Dazai’s insults, which only showed how very non-human he actually was.

‘Stop behaving like a spoiled brat! We could have sent you to a clinic the moment you decided to behave like this, but instead we spent a lot of money on getting you this expensive solution.’

‘You could have spent more money on getting protection for Odasaku.’

(In which all 7 year-old Dazai really wants is to get back Odasaku, but gets Chuuya instead. Though in the end, perhaps the hatrack isn't all that terrible)

chuuya is red hot and dazai is so not by toriosaurus (12,040 - complete)

Dazai couldn't wrap his brain around it. How could the student population think that Chuuya Nakahara was more attractive than him? And, alright, sure, maybe professors shouldn't get caught up in petty drama. But to Dazai, this wasn't just drama. This was war. A war in which he was not going to lose.

The wooing art by holdinglucy (20,940 - complete)

The one where Dazai ended up with more tattoos than he intended to. Or:

Dazai's attempts at wooing the very hot, very dangerous tattoo artist he's just met.

Wrapped up in You by quinnlocke (100,935 - complete)

Chuuya just wants to get through his day as a reptile expert, but there's a bandaged lunatic in his reptile house trying to get murdered by his snakes.

Saving the man's life is a courtesy, taking him home is just asking for trouble.

still still still by toriosaurus (112,578 - complete)

Finally, Chuuya eloquently said, “I don’t want to date you.” Dazai huffed. “Yeah, well, I’m not too thrilled at the idea of having a crazy rockstar boyfriend. But you got us into this mess, you need to help us get out of it.” Had Dazai gone insane? Nakahara Chuuya and Dazai Osamu, dating? Had Chuuya not made it clear through the dozens of direct and indirect meetings that he despised Dazai with every fiber in his body.

Featuring: drunk tweets, falling in love, horrendous song writing, cheesy interviews, learning how to "fake it," and Chuuya getting over the headache that is Dazai. Not necessarily in that order.

where your loyalties lie by writingfromtheshadows (163,126 - complete)

Loyalty is the foundation of the yakuza code, something that was drilled into Chuuya at an early age. However, his lessons did not cover how to manage a political marriage with his organization's oldest rival.

color theory by setosdarkness (2,469 - complete)

Soulmate AU where your heart glows whenever you’re with your soulmate. The color of the glow depends on your feelings for them.

(the one where Chuuya and Dazai make sure to wear layers and layers of clothes and/or bandages just so they can hide their feelings.)

A Heat of Convenience /// A Mark of Inconvenience by dgalerab (19,902 - complete)

PART 1: Yosano won't give Dazai suppressants unless he can prove he's having a healthy amount of heats. Dazai tries to outsmart her. He fails. Chuuya picks up the slack.

PART 2: Dazai gets used to his new arrangement with Chuuya as his heat partner by forcing Chuuya to claim him. It works both better and worse than he expected.

centrifugal/centripetal by TopHat69 (154,138 - ongoing)

[No Summary Available] A/B/O Dynamics

A Catspaw in the Wolf Court by dgalerab (58,357 - complete)

Prince Dazai, a single werecat in a court of wolves, is to be married off to Prince Chuuya, a fox in the kingdom that accepts everyone. He's given one instruction: bring back a defector to the wolves and topple Chuuya's kingdom from the inside.

Things, of course, get more complicated than that.

Counting the Days by Neiro Gin (Neiroa) (23,575 - complete)

How will a certain bandage-wearing ex-Mafioso detective react to hearing that his former partner-who-is-definitely-not-more-than-that has…

…a girlfriend?

“He has been all lovey-dovey with her ever since they came back together!”

“No way! How could any girl fall for that short hat rack?”

“I heard she’s glued to him every single minute of the day. He seems to really like her as well! I’ve never seen him so sweet to anybody!”

“Even if—and that’s a BIG if—she loves him, he’s not the type to just fall in love after only knowing someone for a short amount of time.”

“She’s French.”

“…”

“D-Dazai-san? Dazai-san?!”

Countdown by setosdarkness (31,175 - ongoing)

Eternally-single Chuuya is dared by his friends to date someone. Chuuya eventually agrees, but adds a condition: if the guy he chooses breaks up with him within 10 days, it will suffice as proof that Chuuya’s not meant for dating and therefore his friends will stop nagging at him about his non-existent lovelife.

Thinking that it’s an easy win, Chuuya chooses to date Dazai, his asshole childhood friend who’s known to be a serial womanizer.

Chuuya... is very wrong.

don't you ever tame your demons by writingfromtheshadows (108,592 - complete)

Every year, a handful of children are born with the ability to command supernatural powers. Thousands of dollars and dozens of trained specialists are tasked with identifying, tracking down, and labeling each one as Deviant. Once identified, they have no rights other than those that are permitted to them, and disobedience is a crime punishable by death.

Chuuya has never known a life outside of the routine he's forced to follow, but when the boss of Yokohama's Port Mafia offers him a chance of freedom, Chuuya is not prepared for the rebellion he's stumbling into.

Chuuya Nakahara and the Falling Camelia by Anonymous (12,628 - ongoing)

A new year begins at Hogwarts, and between a nervous wreck of a first year Chuuya met over the summer managing to become Akutagawa's arch enemy upon their first meeting, a pair of second year's younger sisters' complicating things, and leftover tension with Tachihara, Chuuya is in for a hectic term.

Things take a turn for the worse, however when there are rumors about a man eating were tiger, Dementors -- unspeakable creatures who bring back horrible memories and can steal your very soul -- surrounding Hogwarts as wardens and watchmen, and a murderer breaks out of Azkaban, a high security prison in the wizarding world.

Especially when that murderer is dead set on getting his hands on Dazai.

Chuuya Nakahara and the Chambers of Draconia by Anonymous (51,820 - complete)

After a first year full of questions, Chuuya barely gets a moment to breathe before his second year proves the last to be gentle in comparison. With tension among friends and the looming threat of an unknown danger, he'll need all of the clues he can get -- not just for the safety of the school, but for the strength of his friendships.

Madder Aubrieta by hypermoyashi (21,790 - ongoing)

Flowers bloomed, rain fell, and the whims of nature dictated all. This was the status quo that Chuuya knew, and it was a surprisingly delicate order. Change came in the form of a mysterious man he found, woken from an ageless sleep by none other than Chuuya himself.

Margin of Error /// Scale of Success by izanyas (31,416 - complete)

PART 1: After a failed assassination attempt on his person, Dazai finds himself recovering in an unfamiliar place: a hospital where criminals abound, staff and patients alike, and Dazai's own doctor is a little too attractive.

PART 2: Dazai makes due on his promise. Chuuya has to revise his.

#lumi's archive #bungou stray dogs #bsd #soukoku #dazai osamu x nakahara chuuya

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thatmetalbenderlinbeifong · 5 years ago

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@femslashfetale

1. Top turn on?

This is so hard because there are so many things that are a turn on. But I suppose a woman that can take control in the bedroom. Someone confident in their ability to make me submit.

2. Last time you had sex with the opposite gender?

Never

3. Last time you had sex with the same gender?

It’s honestly probably a few years.

4. Last time you masturbated?

Maybe a few weeks ago? I don’t actually remember.

5. What’s the weirdest thing that has turned you on?

I can’t really think of anything particularly weird. I suppose some people would consider elements of bdsm weird, but it’s not weird to me, so, I don’t know.

6. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve masturbated with?

I don’t think I’ve ever done it with anything weird, thankfully.

7. What’s the weirdest kind of porn you’ve watched?

Someone sent me on of those like wrestling porn videos and it just wasn’t my thing. That’s definitely the weirdest thing I’ve watched I think. At least in my opinion.

8. How often do you masturbate/have sex?

It depends. Sometimes I will multiple times a weeks. Sometimes I wont for months. It just depends.

9. Have you ever taken nude pictures?

I have, actually.

10. Dom or Sub?

Already answered this one.

11. Is pain a good thing?

Pain can be incredibly pleasurable. I think it’s a very good thing.

12. Do you like biting?

I don’t mind biting, but I prefer to be the one being bitten.

13. Do you like scratching?

Same with the biting, I don’t mind doing it, but I’d rather have it done to me.

14. Are you slightly horny right now?

Yes.

15. Are you very horny right now?

Not particularly.

16. Do you like face fucking?

Under certain circumstances.

17. 10 of your biggest turn ons?

Pain, bondage, submission, hands around my throat, name calling, praise, being bitten, being bent over something and dirty talk.

18. Do you cook naked?

Nope, never understood the appeal.

19. Do you like foreplay?

I love foreplay. I need it if I’m going to have a good time.

20. Have you had a vaginal orgasm?

I have not.

21. Do you like sex with women?

I love it.

22. Do you like sex with men?

Never had it, but considering I don’t like men, I’m gonna go with no.

23. Would you have sex with a trans* person?

Yes

24. Do you like your nipples played with?

I do. I actually have them pierced.

25. Do you like your lips bitten?

Yes, kiss me and tug on my bottom lip. That’s also a turn on.

26. Do you like to kiss with tongue?

I do.

27. How often do you masturbate?

Whenever the desire hits.

28. Have you masturbated while someone else was in the room?

No, haven’t done that.

29. Would you have sex with a married person?

Probably not, but I suppose it depends on the situation.

30. Would you have sex with a couple/multiple people?

Already answered this one.

31. Do you go outside naked?

Nope, sure don’t.

32. Do you like being woken up with sex?

I don’t mind it.

33. Do you give oral?

I do.

34. Would you let someone eat off of you?

Yeah, I don’t see why not. At the very least to give it a try.

35. What is the youngest/oldest you would sleep with?

I would say absolutely no younger than 22. And honestly, I am so hot for older women that I don’t know what I would say the oldest would be.

36. Do you like having drunk sex?

I’ve never actually been drunk so I wouldn’t know.

37. Do you enjoy wearing lingerie?

I do, when my partner makes me feel sexy wearing.

38. What is your favorite thing about sex?

The intimacy.

39. What is your favorite sexual setting?

I don’t know that I actually have a favorite.

40. Would you ever fool around in a movie theater?

Sure, if I thought we wouldn’t get caught. If no one was around us.

41. Would you ever make a porno with your bf/gf?

Maybe, it just depends.

42. Would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf?

I absolutely would.

43. Do you like it rough or sensual?:

Both, but admittedly, I prefer it rough.

44. Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?

Same.

45. How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger?

Never, like I said, I’ve never actually been drunk.

46. How do you feel about one night stands?

I don’t mind them, but I don’t think it’s something I could do.

47. Do you prefer to make love or fuck?

Both, it’s the same with sensual or rough.

48. Have you ever watched porn while having sex?

I don’t think so, but I’m not opposed to it or anything.

49. How long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed?

It depends on my mood honestly. But a decent amount of time.

50. Do you like kissing during sex?

Yes, I love kissing in general and it’s just heightened during sex.

51. Does size matter?

Not particularly I don’t think.

52. How many sexual partners have you have in the last month?

None, tragically.

53. What does your favorite foreplay include?

Kissing and biting my neck. I’m super sensitive there.

54. Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it?

I haven’t with a partner. But I’ve experimented on my own, and yeah, I’d say I do.

56. Do you ever worry about how you’re pleasing your partner?

All the time during sex.

57. Could you live without sex?

I could I suppose. I’d prefer not to but it is what it is.

58. How long does a typical sexual episode last for you?

There’s a lot of variables that go into that. Don’t know that I can say for sure.

59. Do you like to perform oral sex?

I do, a lot.

60. Do you like to receive oral sex?

Yes

61. Have you ever taped yourself in the act?

Not during sex, but I have when masturbating before. Something to send to my girlfriend at the time.

62. Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some?

I have not, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a 3-some. Actually, its something I’d like to do at some point.

63. Have you ever been caught in the act?

No, thank god.

64. Have you ever had sex while on drugs?

Nope.

65. Would you let other people watch you have sex live?

Maybe, it’s something I’ve contemplated.

66. Do you ever have sex in the shower?

I’ve never done it, but I’m down for trying.

67. What was the biggest age difference with a partner?

I think it’s only been a year or so? I don’t know, I don’t remember. But not very much.

68. Do you feel your up to par in bed?

I’d like to think so.

69. What was your most embarrassing sexual moments?

Thankfully I can’t think of anything particularly embarrassing.

70. Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back?

Never done it in a car, but again, I wouldn’t be opposed to giving it a shot.

71. Do you wear protection as often as you should?

72. Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you?

I don’t mind either, but like I said earlier, I absolutely have the hots for older women so…yeah

73. Have you ever done bondage sex (chains ,whips, etc.)?

I have, with rope. Nothing elaborate yet, but I enjoy it.

74. Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life?

I haven’t had the best sex of my life yet. So, no.

75. If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?

I don’t like answering things like this because I’m demi so I have to have a really strong emotional connection with the person before actually having sex with them. So I don’t really have like a “celebrity list” or anything like that.

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 6 years ago

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band rant:

okay, so. i never get involved in band drama nowadays bc like who has the time for that? but i felt like i had to say something on this topic.

today i woke up to being tagged on a fb article about how absolutely disgustingly creepy and inappropriate fans are being at p!atd concerts, when brendon urie does a big walk through the crowd during the song death of a bachelor. the thing that disturbed me the most about the people that lick or kiss him or do other creepy/concerning things (without his consent) is that they’re literally adults in their 20s, or at least that’s what people were assuming in the comments on the article, who should know that this stuff is creepy asf.

like don’t get me wrong, it took me literal years in my teens to realise that my attitude towards brendon and other band members (who I won’t mention by name here, but y’all know who they are by now) was creepy.

I’d make jokes about turning up their shows naked under a trench coat or how if i ever lived in the states they’d all have restraining orders out on me bc i’d follow to them to their houses and shit. hell, I even made a joke coming home from a concert once that i wouldn’t wash my hands for a week bc i touched one of the guitarist’s guitars and their hand at a show in 2009 (y’all can all guess who that was). i cried for an hour on the way home, bc i did actually wash my hands after that show. seriously 13/14yo me was a fucking freak when it came to her fave bands.

but the difference between me and these creepy presumably 20something women who should know better is that i was a kid who didn’t know any better and thought these jokes and other ones i made (like tagging a particular band’s members on my crotch and my very non-existent bewbs (*teenaged sniggering*) at that point, on my myspace with sexual tags) were funny and not creepy. when on the contrary, they were really, really fucking inappropriate/creepy and NOT FUNNY (bc these guys were in their fucking 20s (!!!!!!) and i was a literal goddamn child in high school).

it wasn’t until I was about 15/16 however, that i realised that i wouldn’t like some random kid turning up on my lawn to scream at me or turning up to my shows naked etc. but younger me thought her fave celebs owed her their time and stuff.... when they don’t. at all. in any sense of the matter. and yes, when I found those mentioned myspace tags at 18 when I went through my MS before it got deleted: I WAS FUCKING MORTIFIED. DO NOT DO THAT SHIT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. EVER. PERIOD.

finally, to finish this part of the post, the topic of consent wasn’t as openly discussed 10 years ago, back when i was doing this shit. if it was ever was discussed, it wouldnt’ve been like it is now, and I would’ve been to selfish and young to care about it tbh. bc after all, teenage me was an asshole. it’s only recently, (meaning like 2013), that I started to better assess my behaviours towards famous people (especially my faves/idols/role models) and my ignorance of their obvious non-consent in these scenarios.

the very same goes for these incidents. like, who the fuck wants a completely random stranger (and especially one that should know better by now) randomly kissing them or licking them???? what the fuck????? and then other weird things like intentionally grabbing their face etc??? i don’t fucking care if you’re inebriated (bc it’s a concert and if you’re over 18 in aus or over 21 in the US, why wouldn’t you have a couple of drinks? but this is currently happening on p!atd’s US tour) while you’re at p!atd shows. i don’t fucking care if you think that brendon urie is “my (your) baby! <3 *sigh* 😍😍😍😍😍😍” (girl he ain’t your baby, let me tell ya.) and “oooh my ovaries!!!” 🤤🤤🤤😩😩😩 (idk what constitutes as a swooning emoji lol) or any other weird fangirl nonsense speak shit you want to throw at me, because:

THIS SHIT IS CREEPY ASF. IT. NEEDS. TO. STOP.

like for the women apparently doing this, think about it this way: if some creepo dude in the club starts kissing you when you’ve repeatedly told him to fuck off or whatever.... or just randomly approaches you for a hug; you’d be grossed out and uncomfortable right? now stand in a famous person’s shoes, at their shows meeting fans and having them doing this to you. how do you feel? surely you feel exactly like you do when that creepy fuckwit dude gives you an unsolicited/unconsented kiss at a bar. or when someone touches you in general without your consent.

brendon has literally told the p!atd fan base on multiple fucking occasions about HOW UNCOMFORTABLE, UNEASY AND FUCKING CREEPED OUT HE IS when random fans kiss/lick him or do other creepy fucking shit like grabbing his face without his consent. just because he’s famous, and you love him soooo much XDDDD, or just bc you’ll probably never see him again after the concert or whatever other weird bullshit justification(s) y’all wanna give, DO NOT GIVE YOU THE GROUNDS TO DO THIS SHIT. I REPEAT: THESE REASONS/JUSTIFICATIONS DO NOT GIVE YOU THE GROUNDS TO DO THIS SHIT.

he has told you stop again and again. pls just stop. just because brendan urie is famous, it doesn’t mean that his safety and personal space should be violated in this twisted manner. obvs you could say that “hey he should expect this when he interacts with a crowd bc he’s famous. he should just deal with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ but why should he? he should not have to deal with this, when he has requested again and again for it to cease. just grow the fuck up and respect his boundaries, yeah?

anyway the point of this rant is that you should fucking respect your faves boundaries, safety and requests to stop any fucking behaviour that makes them feel uncomfortable y’all. just be decent human beings yeah?

rant over.

an addendum: if you’re a woman or just generally a person who condemns and considers entitled male fans who scream things like “HEY SEXY WANNA MARRY ME?!” or “I WANNA FUCK YOU!” at female solo acts/female lead singers like idk lady gaga or hayley williams (paramore) etc or any other weird shit that happens to female acts as creepy... but you don’t think literally grabbing someone’s face or even licking your finger before you touch a stranger (which was another weird thing a fan did at a p!atd show).... all because it happened to a man; then take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror and look at your fucking hypocritical bullshit. because this is the exactly the same shit as what happens to female acts.

so in short, you’ll stand in solidarity with female acts and agree that this is unacceptable behaviour (bc feels as a woman, right? and women are TIRED OF THIS Y’ALL), but you won’t stand with a guy when it happens to them? that’s fucked bruh. y’all need to sort out your priorities and shit STAT. learn that this behaviour is fucked up and unacceptable etc from both genders (or all genders if you’re non-binary or trans etc) and on all fronts. again, I’ll assert that you just have to be a fucking decent and normal human being in this instance. and *elle woods voice* is it really, like, that fucking hard?

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona goes on a big rant #but seriously though #if youre in your 20s doing this #what the fuck is wrong with you #(and also the flip side goes for female acts as well).#ok lets be real i think lots of 20 somethings would got to p!atd #but who really knows the age of the patrons

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mtvswatches · 6 years ago

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Crazy Ex Girlfriend 4x06 I See You

Stray thoughts

1) Okay, I’m definitely warming up to the new theme song. And Other Rebecca definitely needs help.

2) I’m glad the show answered my question about Heather’s and Valencia’s role right away. They still have a big presence in Rebecca’s life, and I’m grateful for it.

3) How dare they criticize Daryl? He’s a beautiful perfect mustached bisexual puppy, and I love him, okay?

4) I’m sorry, Darryl is extra? I don’t think they get what “extra” means. Darryl is not extra!

5) This guy is pretty much Darryl without the mustache, isn’t he?

BERT: Hey, Nathaniel. I went to your house but you weren't there, so I called all of the dining establishments in the city until I found you.

NATHANIEL: Why?

BERT: Oh, some mail came for you at the office yesterday, so I thought I'd bring it to you the way, you know, coworkers with a good rapport bring things to each other on Saturdays.

Which… makes sense? Since episode 1 this season I’ve been getting the feeling they’re trying to parallel Nathaniel’s journey with Rebecca’s. And I guess this guy is acting the way Darryl did towards Rebecca in season 1.

If you think about it, does it mean that Rebecca is Nathaniel’s Josh? And who would be his Greg?

6) OMG.

BRET: When my seven sisters died in that tragic tandem bike accident, it took me 14 years to deal with it, to even cry.

This show is so ridiculous!

7) Yep, this would also be my face if I opened the door and Josh was there…

8) “I am, as always, amazed at your utter… Joshness!” What a polite way to sum it up.

9) So, this episode is going in the “unlikely pairings” direction, and I’m loving it.

10) It’s kind of uncanny how much I relate to Paula.

I can’t imagine how these two will find some common ground and bond, though.

11) I am loving the Nathaniel/Heather interactions! They are complete opposites in almost every respect, so again, I can’t wait to see how exactly they will bond? And Heather truly is a nice person, I would’ve kicked him out of the car three ironic “pleases” earlier.

12) I was smiling all the way through this song!

youtube

I loved the lyrics, and I loved the references to the genre.

And this was my favorite shot, for some reason…

I also loved the fact that when the song is over we cut to Rebecca mumbling the lyrics, which implies that the whole thing happened in her head.

13) This fucking show…

PAULA: There's a scratch here.

WOMAN: Really? I-I don't see how. I stored it away from my leopard and my anteaters.

14) Oh, Darryl, why would you tell a total stranger about Rebecca’s mental disorder? I was trying to defend you so hard this episode, but that’s a big no-no!

15) But he was right, though…

You know, sometimes I think we're close, like when you give me parts of your genetic code to make a person, but sometimes it feels like you just don't like me. And I look past it because I like the good parts of you, and I know you have some challenges, but that is no excuse for you to be unkind.

16) I loved this bit…

17) Hahaha!

18) Of all the things Heather said…

…this is the one that got to him…

19) Well, that happened…

These are the ashes of Heidi, my beloved, dead Au pair.

20) Oh, Nathaniel, you broke my heart…

She took care of me from the day I was born until I was 17. She passed away this year, and her family they gave me a portion of her ashes to scatter in the ocean, because that's where we went to a lot together. That's what she wanted. (…) I was close to her. I loved her. And she loved me. She practically raised me. If I needed somebody, she was there. Then she went back to Austria. And the very next person to love me like that was Rebecca. And now they're gone. They're both gone. The people I cared about most in my life are gone.

It was all very sweet until he compared his au pair to Rebecca, though. Then it got weird.

21)

JOSH: That's it, Paula! Enough! I can't stay here all night enabling your procrastination caused by an inner fear of success that's making you put off studying for your finals.

PAULA: Wow. Josh.

JOSH: Did I get that right?

Paula’s reaction is priceless.

22) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, DARRYL!!

23) WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK…

I can’t. words. what. They…

24) WHAT THE ACTUAL FUUUUUUCKKKK

Oh, thank god, this didn’t almost happen. But… Rebecca and Darryl… that did almost happen…

25) But this was hella sweet…

REBECCA: You know, I was thinking, the fact that I was attracted to you it gives me hope.

DARRYL: Yeah?

REBECCA: I mean, I was attracted to someone nice. I mean, if that can happen, maybe I can be attracted to a different type of guy.You know? Guys who aren't withholding or cold or jerks or unavailable or dating other people or immoral or married or Nathaniel or Greg or Josh. I hope one day to find someone who is as kind and as loving as you are.

DARRYL: That is so sweet of you to say.

26) OH MY GOD SHOW STOP TEASING ME WITH THESE CREEPY ASS ALMOST KISSES!

But I think it was really sweet of Nathaniel to apologize and open up to one of the few people who is showing him they care about him.

27) He’s singing the lullaby to his mustache, isn’t he?

Yep.

28) Okay, so this episode brought back the crazy but in a very fun and sweet kind of way? I really enjoyed the interactions of the different pairings, but I think all of those almost-kisses are going to give me nightmares. Eek! Sorry!

29) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

#Crazy Ex Girlfriend #CEG #Rebecca Bunch #Rachel Bloom #CEG recap #CEG 1x06 #mine #MTVSwatches

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phoenixrisingwoman · 7 years ago

Note

1-102. You should have known I was gonna do this.

This friendship was a mistake.

1) what’s a song you depict with your childhood? any HSM song brings me back to my childhood & also oldies that my parents used to play in the house like stand by me by Ben E. King, unchained melody by the Righteous Brother,….

2) did you have a memorable childhood pet? I think every one of my pets is memorable. one that specificly comes to mind would have to be our Tervuren. We took him in because his owner didn’t take care of him and was planning on ditching him in the middle of the woods. the poor thing got treated like some kind of monster when he only asked for the bare minimum, to get treated with respect and basic kindness. I still remember how easily he trusted us. We were a family of 5 so to have 5 strangers around you all of a sudden and not get defensive and lash out especially after getting treated so badly by humans is one thing but to completely immediately trust us wow. He was such a gentle and sweet dog and it hurts my heart when I think about how he died. He had cancer. Fucking dogs man i know i say this about all dogs but he really was an angel. What a pure soul.

3) have you ever been drunk? yes

4) have you ever tried drugs? i’ve only eaten space cake and that’s it. but i don’t really have any desire to ever try hard drugs.

5) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said? 99% of the time I regret what I say because I am dumb and say some real embarrassing shit

6) have you ever made someone cry? I hope not, unless they were happy tears!

7) has someone ever made you cry? most likely yeah i’m just very sensitive and take a lot of things to heart.

8) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it. i've never been in love9) which came first the chicken or the egg? The real question is where does a circle begin and where does it end?

10, 11) already answered

12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love? read the answer to question 8

13) are you a good cook? i mean i’m not the worst but there’s always room for (a lot of) improvement.

14) already answered

15) what is the last movie you cried during? i can’t remember but hatchiko is a movie that can always make me cry.

16) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

It’s such a long list so i’m going to narrow it down to a few: Skillet - Would It matter, DNA - Lia Maria Johnson, you don’t know - Katelyn Tarver, Adam’s song - Blink 182 , 24 floors - The Maine, Sleepless nights - Faber Drive, Just a little bit of your heart - Ariana Grande & I can’t make you love me/ nick of time - Bon Iver. That’s some real sad shit.

17) do you have a middle name? Nope18) have you been out of your country? yes, I’ve been to Italy, England, Turkey, The Netherlands and Germany & this summer i’m going to Spain.19) are you a chocolate fan or not? I am a huge slut for chocolate always20) how many people have you kissed? only one because I have no game21) already answered22) what is your dream car? don’t have a specific one in mind but a range rover looks nice. as long as my car is big enough to take all my dogs with me to the beach, i’m satisfied.23) what is your lucky/favorite number? don’t have one24) what is your favorite flower? i like water lilies a lot25) books or movies, why? Both. Depends. you can get lost in books and imagine the characters/scenery more and the words just stick with me more when i read them? But movies are also nice if a certain character gets played by a good actor and really brings it all to life.26) have you ever been on a blind date? I’d rather not get murdered on my first date. so to answer this question no.27) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you? yeah in my teenager years 28) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends? don’t really see the point in hurting a friend? If a friend betrays my trust i’ll cut them out of my life immediately and never speak a word to them again nor will i waste any more energy on them or be willing to listen to whatever bullshit excuse they want to try. I’m very loyal and loving but if someone takes advantage of that and betrays my trust then I have no problem with cutting them out of my life and continuining as if we were strangers all along. i can take a lot but i don’t fuck with fake people.29) what thing do you symbolize love with? many things really but that’s because i think love comes in many forms. friendship, hobbies, pets, lovers, family,…i think love is all around us really. a tiger playing with her cub, puppies play fighting a lil too rough with an older dog but the older dog allowing them because they still need to learn their boundaries, strangers pulling funny faces at babies or playing along with a game a kid made up, someone giving up their seat and so on. I think all of these acts symbolize love. Once you stop seeing love as this strictly romantic thing i think it’s easy to find it everywhere you look. no matter how small the gesture.30) do you have neat handwriting? It’s not too bad i think. 31) do you have a friend with benefits? nope32) do you want a friend with benefits? I don’t really think i’m cut out for that type of thing. I mean whenever someone holds the door for me i think about it for like days after so I really am not sure if I could trust myself with seeing it as only a friendship with benefits and nothing more.33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be? a siren, a wolf, a forest nymph, harry styles’ next gf haha34) have you ever been blackout drunk? yeah35) have you ever met someone famous? no :(36) how many concerts have you been to? uhh i think 13-ish37) which concerts have you been to? first ones were Justin Bieber (don’t judge), 1d, 5sos, ed sheeran, the script, dua lipa, harry styles, lord huron38) do you have a hidden talent? i can go trough 10 different emotions in the span time of an hour39) what do you do when you’re stressed? shut down, cry, get angry or all of the above.40) do you think money can buy love? money can buy things you love and that make you happy so i guess in that sense you can buy ‘happiness’ & ‘love’, but if we’re talking about real, true, genuine feelings then no that kinda love can’t be bought41) how old would you date? the oldest like 24 but for a sugar daddy i am always willing to make an exception42) have you ever done something illegal? jaywalking is illegal but most of us have done it at some point so like nothing too illegal43) what is your biggest fear? for my loved ones? that they wil never get all the goodness in life that they truly deserve and that life will treat them like shit and inflict pain upon them that i’ll never be able to undo. for myself? i’m scared i’ll never truly feel like I belong and will never truly feel happy and that once I’m close to dying i’ll be faced with the fact I’ve wasted all my time.44) what is an unusual fear you have? having a doppelganger that’s a real piece of shit and people thinking it's me that has done all that nasty shit to them and me eventually being sentenced for it while the real demon is still out there...yea idk

45) can you drive? no haha i really need to get my license46) do you believe in supernatural creatures? yes but i’m not sure to what extend but I do believe there are certain things living on this earth unbeknownst to us. 47) do you believe in karma? i think what goes around comes around. or so i truly hope.48) what is one quality you need in your partner? above all my partner needs to be kind. no matter what.49) do looks matter? i’m not going to be a hypocrite and say no because there does need to be a certain level of attraction but it’s not like looks are the most important thing about someone.50) does size matter? which size are we talking about here. but no idc if you truly love someone, you take them as they are. not a single cell in your body would even think about changing anything about them because they already are perfect just the way the are.51) who is the last person you forgave? myself for being so dumb52) what is your favorite ice cream flavor? strawberry and chocolate53) already answered 54) ever been on a plane? obviously55) ever been on a boat? yes56) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t? yea a highschool friend that i haven’t heard in years.57) are there any friendships you regret? yes, this one58) are there any friendships you wish you could make? yes @harrystyles if you ever wanna hang out hit me up. i am free almost always so we can hang out whenever you are free too. thanks my dude.59) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours? no60) have you ever walked outside after 12 am? yes61) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through? no but one day I will!62) are you scared of rollercoasters? yeah and i wish i wasn’t. but i always imagine some final destination type of shit when i’m on it so i tend to avoid rollercoasters and such. I’m a paranoid bitch.63) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually? 664) do you have any plans this weekend? yes 65) do you miss anyone right now? not really66) who do you wish you were talking to right now? the ghost of Christopher McCandless. I’d like to hear his stories and thoughts. he seemed like a very interesting individual.67) already anwered68) who is your favorite superhero? catwoman? idk i don’t really have a fave superhero69) are you dirty minded? me? an angel? of course not.70) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at the 80’s? this question should be illegal. how am i supposed to choose one? there are so many bops.71) how many kids, if any, do you want? at the moment i don’t want kids but if that ever changes 2 would be enough.72) who is your biggest OTP? don’t have one73) what is your favorite food? lasagna & pizza. other than that cake/chocolate/anything cookie or candy related. I have a sweet tooth okay 74) do you want to be married one day? idk I don’t really feel the need to get married but if someone is willing to marry my annoying ass then I’m grabbing that chance with both hands.

75) dogs or cats? both but unfortunately i’ve only owned dogs till now so i’m hoping that will change soon! 76) already answered77) have you ever seen a shooting star? nope78) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you? No, unless the aliens are there too. then sign me the fuck up79) how many best friends do you have? 380) when was the last time you cried? 2 weeks ago81) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself? mind ur own bussiness82) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed? yeah83) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go? countryside of Ireland, Sweden or Northern Wilderness84) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself? gentle, dreamer, stupid 85) do you consider yourself a loyal person? yes, very loyal until you give me a reason not to. but even then i won’t badmouth you i’ll just erase your whole existence from my memory.86) what is your favorite season and why? summer bc i need that vitamin D to beat the sad bitch in me. but also autumn because SWEATER WEATHER87) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it? no, i don't easily say i love you to someone 88) do you know how to play any instruments? no :(89) already answered90) what are you allergic to? pineapple. i might have other allergies i’m unaware off.91) already answered92) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be? I’d wanna be Daenerys Targaryen because I want to have dragon friends who will fly me anywhere I wanna go. also talk about an entrance when you arrive with your fucking dragon somewhere.93) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why? harry styles, niall horan, BØRNS or Maggie rogers because they seem like fun people to be around that will just brighten your day by being in their company.94) are you outgoing? nope, unless you catch me in those rare energetic moods or if i’m drunk then I do shit even I don’t want to know about.95) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to? no96) are you a good flirt? probably not because i always say some weird shit and kill the mood haha97) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down? nope98) already answered99) are you superstitious? not really100) are you a good listener? i like to think so101) are you a good kisser? who knows102) would you kiss any of your friends? depends how much money is involved

#i did it bitch i finished it #mama didn't raise a quitter #answered #jindotree

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x-oc-blog-x · 5 years ago

Text

Inside Avas’ OCs

I got a questionnaire from mibba.com for my OCs

Oliver Asman

Basic

1. What is your full birth name? Oliver Lee Asman

2. Any nicknames? Oli

3. When were you born/how old are you? June 5. I’m 19

4. If immortal or slow-ageing, what is your apparent age? I’m human soo.

5. Where were you born?

The United States

6. Who were your parents? Cassie and Daniel Asman

7. Do you have any siblings? Yeah. He is 5. His name is Joel.

8. Where do you live now? At jacks house in the US

9. Who do you live with? Jackson Canmore and his mom.

10. Are you right or left-handed?

Left

11. What words/phrases do you regularly use? I definitely say sorry a lot.

12. Name some habits or strange quirks you have? I chew on hoodie strings. And my shirt sometimes. I know it’s gross

Appearance

13. Height: 5’ 7”

14. Weight: 147 pounds

15. Skin Tone: I’m tan

16. Body Shape: normal? I don’t know.

17. Hair: blonde quiff

18. Eyes: blue

19. Face Shape:what does this even mean?

20. Everyday Dress Style:I like to wear black jeans and a t shirt

21. Formal Dress Style:slacks and dress shirt.

22. Any Jewelry? A few bracelets just to fidget with really.

23. Any Scars? Just a few. Ive got some on my thigh. I don’t want to talk about it.

24. Tattoos? No.

Growing Up

25. How would you describe your childhood in general? It was okay. It could have been better. I was kicked out though. There was that.

26. What is your earliest memory?

My mom and dad arguing over money. He hit her.

27. How much schooling have you had? I graduated

28. Did you enjoy school?

Yeah. I got to spend time with friends. And jack

29. Where did you learn most of your skills/abilities?

School

30. Any role models while growing up? Not really until middle school. I really liked the flash. Jack made me watch it.

31. What did you want to be when you grew up?

I actually wanted to be a dinosaur. Then I wanted to be a teacher

32. What was your favourite thing to do? Play with dinosaur toys with jack. And when I grew up a bit I liked to write.

33. Were you popular?

34. Who were your friends?

Jack, Misha, Collin, Rex, Alex, Loni

35. When and who was your first kiss?

My first kiss was a girl named Maddie in 6th grade

Past Influences

36. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Moving in with jack when I got kicked out. That really influenced our friendship and helped us get together. And that was life changing.

37. Who has had the most influence on you? Jack.

38. What do you consider is your greatest achievement? Healing from being kicked out and not trying to reach out to my toxic family.

39. What is your greatest regret? Missing so many opportunities because of insecurity.

40. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I have no idea. I try not to do bad things.

41. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? No

42. When was the time you were the most frightened? When I was kicked out. I was so scared. My dad had me by the hair and was dragging and throwing me.

43. The most embarrassing moment of your life so far? I accidentally submitted one of my writings for an assignment instead of the actual assignment. My teacher was really confused.

44. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be and why? As much as I loved living with Jack and his mom, I wish I wouldn’t have come out to them. Maybe they would still talk to me.

45. What is your best memory? My first kiss. Jack and I were in the park. And without me even telling him I liked him, we both just kinda kissed.

46. What is your worst memory? Other than being kicked out, Being beat up in the bookstore. I didn’t do anything to them, but because I was holding hands with jack, they put put me in the hospital.

Beliefs and Opinions

47. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? I try to be an optimist.

48. What is your greatest fear?

Being alone

49. What are your religious views?

I believe in the Christian god. But I never go to church or anything.

50. Political views?

Not conservative.

51. Views on Sex?

Sex is a cool thing. Everyone is different with it, but it’s nice. I like it. I want to go more into detail but I really shouldn’t.

52. In your own opinion, what is the most evil thing someone could do?

Kick out their child for being lgbt+

53. Do you believe in Soul Mates/True love? I do.

54. What do you base success on?

Personal Achievements. I’m successful for finding a healthy relationship and getting out of a toxic situation. Other people are successful for getting past their bad pasts.

55. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with yourself?

I try to push my feelings away. I don’t like negative emotions.

56. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with others?

I usually tell jack how I feel if I’m depressed because he likes to help.

57. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

Yes.

58. Is there anything you would absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances?

I’m sure there is. But I don’t know what they would be

59. Why would you refuse?

N/a

60. Who or what, if anything, would you die for?

I’d die for jack and his family. I’d die for my friends. Id die for the kids like me who don’t have anyone to go to because they were abandoned for who they are.

61. What do you feel the most passionate about?

Jack.

62. What one act are you most proud of?

Healing from bad things.

63. What one act are you most ashamed of?

Coming out to my parents.

64. Are you a leader or follower?

Follower

Relationships

65. In general, how do you treat people you don’t know well? I try to be nice to everyone.

66. How do you treat people you do know?

With respect.

67. Who do you respect the most and why?

Jack. He is a nice human who has been through bad days. And he is still the best and nicest person I know.

68. Who are your friends?

Misha, collin, Jack, Loni, Alex, and Rex.

69. Who is your best friend?

Jack

70. Ever been in love?

Obviously.

71. Who do you consider family?

Jack, Misha, Collin, Ms. Canmore

72. How close are you to your family?

I don’t talk to them. At all.

73. Who do you turn to in desperate times and why?

Jack. He has always been there for me.

74. Who do you trust to protect you and why? No one should have to protect me. But in the times that I needed it, Jack. Sorry if I keep saying his name for everything. He is everything to me.

75. Who do you despise the most and why?

My dad. He took me by my hair and threw me from our house because of my sexuality.

76. Do you tend to argue or avoid conflict? Avoid. My anxiety doesn’t like to fight.

77. Do you care what others think of you?

Yes.

Sex and Intimacy

78. Do you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, trans or something else?

Pansexual.

79. Do you have a significant other?

Yes.

80. Describe them: kind, smart, sweet, supportive, loving, and everything someone could want.

81. What is the perfect romantic date?

Going to the park and having lunch.

82. Best sexual partner?

Jack is the best. But he is the only person I’ve had sex with.

83. Worst sexual partner?

No one. Jack is the only person I’ve had sex with.

84. Worst thing you’ve done to someone you love?

I don’t know.

Likes and Dislikes

85. What is/are your favourite hobbies/pastimes?

I like to watch tv. And write.

86. What is your most prized possession?

The bracelet jack gave me.

87. Favourite colour?

Green

88. Favourite food?

Pizza

89. Favourite movie? Spider-Man: far from home

90. Favourite TV show?

Glee

91. What, if anything, do you like to read?

I like poems. Rupi Karar especially

92. What style of music do you like?

I like all music. Except country.

93. What is your idea of good entertainment? Books, tv, plays, etc.

94. Do you smoke?

No. It’s gross

95. Drink?

I don’t unless someone offers at like a party or something.

96. Drugs?

Nah.

97. Typical Friday night?

Cuddles with jack.

98. What would be the perfect gift for you?

Roses.

99. Rain or Sun and why? Rain. I like to feel the rain.

100. Day or Night and why?

Day. I like the sunrises and the sense of everyone having something to do in the light.

101. What makes you laugh?

Puns. Jokes.

102. What shocks/offends you?

Anti-lgbt people. People who deny human rights to others.

103. How do you deal with stress? I usually break down and cry.

104. Are you spontaneous, or do you feel you always need a plan?

I prefer plans to ease my anxiety.

105. Any pet peeves?

Nah.

Occupation/Study

106. Do you have a job or are you studying? I stay at home. I don’t do much. I sometime write for commission money.

107. If so, what is it/what course?

Writing.

108. Do you like it?

Yeah.

109. If studying/not working, where does your money come from? It doesn’t really.

110. What is your boss/teacher(s)/agent/publisher ect like? I am my boss that’s pretty cool.

111. What are your co-workers/other students like? Nope.

112. Do you get along with them? Nope.

113. What is something you had to learn that you hated?

Semicolons

114. Do you tend to save or spend your money?

Save

Misc.

115. Describe the routine of a normal day for you:

Wake up. Cuddle. Sometimes work. Eat. Cuddle. Blah blah.

116. What is your greatest strength?

Being able to pick myself up when I’m down

117. Greatest weakness?

Being so emotional

118. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I would want to look better. I think I could improve my face.

119. Introvert or Extrovert?

Introvert

120. Organised or messy?

Organized.

121. Three things you’re good at:

Writing, overthinking, and being a friend.

122. Three things you’re bad at:

Rationalizing, talking to strangers, and being alone

123. Do you like yourself?

Kinda

124. What is your life goal?

To be fully happy with who I am.

125. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Hopefully I’m married to jack. Maybe having a baby.

126. If you could choose, how would you want to die? With jack by my side. I don’t want to be alone.

127. Three things you would do with 24 hours left to live? Talk to my family and explain to them some things, tell Joel how important he is to the world, and to have some alone time with jack.

128. What is one thing you’d like to be remembered for after your death? Being a good person

129. Three words to describe your personality?

Awkward, caring, and nice.

130. Three words others use to describe your personality?

Awkward, horny, and fun😂

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astrolo-harry-blog · 7 years ago

Text

1800s!Harry au

“Please forgive me for what i'm about to say but i have the strongest desire to kiss you."

"Do it then. Kiss me Harry."

Harry wasted no time and feverishly kissed her. The kiss unleashed so many undisclosed desires. They both tried to act like they were fine without each other but they were in so much pain. So when Harry tried to deepen the kiss and slip his tongue inside Y/N's mouth, Y/N immediately let him. The kiss was slowly healing all the scars, taking away all the pain.

my attempt at a 1800s/pride&prejudice au where harry and Y/N are deprived of each other

1800ish words

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that balls are events all young ladies are looking forward to. Dressing up in a beautiful gown, dancing all night with their friends and finding a well-off husband. Y/N, being a typical 19-year-old, is usually thrilled to attend these balls but tonight she is to meet the bachelor her mother finds suitable for her. Sir John was 7 years older than her. He had an estate that was twice the size of Y/N's father's, a yearly income above average and a title.

Her mother dressed her in a brand new, fancy red dress that she picked up herself from the shop downtown. She decorated Y/N's hair with jasmines and Y/N must admit they did look pretty cute. After saying goodbye to her dad, Y/N, her mom and her twin sisters left the house.

In the carriage everyone was squealing about how fascinating Y/N's life'd be after she was married. Everyone was ecstatic except Y/N. She only had one person on her mind. The last time she saw him was over 2 years ago. He was nothing fancy but she knew he at least cared about her.

Y/N shook her head as the carriage stopped and everyone stepped out of it. "He was gone now, there was no use in drowning myself in sorrow. He was never coming back anyways. At least not for me." she thought.

The ballroom was wild. Girls and boys were dancing the night away on the dance floor while the orchestra played cheerful tunes. Y/N's sisters ran to find a partner to dance with, Y/N wanted to join them but her mother dragged her away to meet her husband-to-be.

"Sir John good evening meet my eldest daughter, Y/N!" "Y/N? What a lovely name for a lovely lady. Pleasure to meet you." He kissed Y/N's hand and she forced a smile and said it was her pleasure. Mom started a conversation and forced Y/N to join here and there. It seemed like Sir John was genuinely interested in her but how could they expect her to marry a man she doesn't even now. Y/N wanted to be in love with her husband, she was not after money nor a title.

As the night progressed Y/N was starting to get bored of this conversation. It had been hours and she was still here talking instead of doing something fun like dancing. By now Sir John had already got the idea that Y/N wasn't into him. He was nicer than she had assumed, he wasn't gonna pressure her into marrying until she was willing, he told her that when mom finally left them alone for the rest of the night and Y/N was grateful for that. "Hey have you met my friend Harold yet? He's a really nice young man. He was from around this area maybe you know him. Hey Harry over here! I want you to meet Miss Y/N!"

Y/N couldn't believe it, she didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be him. Why would he come back after all these years? "Colonel Harold, this is Miss Y/N. Miss Y/N this is Colonel Harold." Y/N could see that Harry was also taken aback from seeing her again. "Yeah, yeah actually me and Miss go way back." "Really? You never mentioned her when you were telling all those childhood stories." "He didn't?" Y/N spoke for the first time to Harry in two years and she knew she sounded desperate but how could he not? They'd been in love since they were 14. All those secret glances, smiles from across the room. Those weren't the things you could just ignore when you tell someone about your memories.

The trio had talked for 15 mins tops when Sir John left after hearing that Y/N and Harry hadn't seen each other in 2 years and said that they should catch up. They didn't say anything for a few minutes and just awkwardly stood there when Harry cleared his throat and said " Could you accompany me to the gardens Miss Y/N?" "I'd be delighted Colonel."

Y/N must admit that it was a fairly nice stroll through the rose gardens. They were silent most of the time but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. She finally built up the courage and said " Colonel huh? The last time i saw you, you were just Harold." He chuckled and said " Yeah time really took its toll on me." "Took its toll? Isn't life better nowadays? You've been to so many places, probably met some interesting people, women.." "I've never been with anyone if that's what you're wondering. And yes of course the adventures were good but i think leaving made me lose someone important." Y/N's heart started beating out of her chest upon hearing these words."How do you know you've lost that person?" She shouldn't've gotten her hopes up but she couldn't help it. She couldn't deny that she was still in love with him and if there was even a slight chance that he was still into her, Y/N wasn't gonna go down without a fight. " I heard that she was to marry another man. A dear friend of mine i must say. The only thing that's soothing my ache is that i know he can make her happy unlike myself." Y/N was trying to think properly but she just couldn't. The only person who could make her happy was standing right next to her, feeling like a stranger. "Why didn't you tell Sir John about me?" "I thought not talking about you would help me forget but it didn't."

They both didn't talk for a while, just strolled down through the forest. They were both thinking about their feelings for each other. Why couldn't they just admit that they were in love and end this suffering?

When they reached the river Y/N was the first to talk. "I'm not to be married to Sir John." Harry's eyes almost popped out of his head. "But i heard your mother boasting about how lucky she was that her eldest daughter was getting married to a well-off man." Y/N cracked a smile and said "Well you know how my mother likes to exaggerate." "Yeah i remember how thrilled she was when she learned about me and you." Harry added sarcastically. Y/N was taken aback a bit. Even though Harry was right she still felt like defending her mother but there was nothing she could say to defend her. "Look i'm sorry Y/N i meant no offence, i was being foolish and please forgive me for what i'm about to say but i have the strongest desire to kiss you." "Do it then. Kiss me Harry."

Harry sat the both of them on the grass without breaking the kiss and got on top of her. His hands were roaming her body, he still remembered every detail, every curve. How could he not when it was all he thought about late at night? "Let me make up for the two years Y/N please." Harry pleaded while lifting the skirt of her dress. He was eager to please her but he wouldn't do anything she was uncomfortable with. "What about you Harry? I've missed your body." "There will be time for me sweetheart. We'll have all the time in the world. We'll be together forever i promise you. Just please let me do my thing today." Y/N nodded and helped Harry lift her skirt up and pull down the underwear.

Harry took his time to admire her pussy before she rushed him. "Shh be patient baby. I told you we have time. Now tell me baby have you been with another man while i was gone huh?" "No Harry, i couldn't imagine someone else between my legs. i still can't." The newfound fact pleased Harry. He liked the fact that he wasn't the only one faithful even though they weren't together and she was free to do whatever she wanted.

Harry stopped teasing her pussy and started sucking on her clit. She still tasted as sweet as he remembered. He wanted to devour that taste. He teased her entrance with two fingers but inserted only one of them in, lifted his head up and said, "This pussy is mine isn't it love? I'm the only one who knows your pussy well enough to make you cum aren't i?" Y/N was thrashing and moaning on the ground but after hearing her lover she lifted her head up, looked down and said, "Yes yes it's yours Harry it'll always be yours. You know me the best."

Harry inserted his other finger in too after hearing this. "You'll always be mine Y/N. Physically and mentally. As i'm yours. You were all i thought about during the day when i was on the ship strolling and patrolling and you were also the one who was on my mind when i laid in my bed late at night, stroking my hard cock. The image of that perfect body of yours never left my mind. The way you moaned my name when my cock was pounding into you or when you took me so deep in that pretty little mouth. You're close aren't you? Cum! Cum for me baby and i'll be free of the guilt of leaving you."

Dirty talking was one of Y/N's biggest turn ons. Dirty talking mixed with the sexual frustration of two years and Harry's skilled fingers meant she was already ready to cum. She came with a loud moan but Harry quickly captured her mouth in a kiss to quieten her a bit. They were still out and about, anyone passing by could hear or see them.

Harry pulled Y/N into his chest and they laid there for awhile before they heard Y/N's mother shouting her name and looking for her.Harry quickly sat up and looked directly into her eyes. "Y/N i love you. I know you know it and all i'm asking for is another chance please meet me at my summerhouse just out of the town tomorrow. I don't know whether you'll come or not but i'll wait for you there. Hell i'll wait forever for you. Just know that i love you. I'll see you later beautiful."Harry kissed her quickly then sprinted off into the woods, the opposite direction of Y/N's mother voice obviously. Y/N touched her lips in disbelief and whispered an "i love you too." It was so low that even she almost couldn't hear it.

She loved Harry and she sure as hell was going to that summerhouse tomorrow.

#i first wrote this in 1st person's pov so if there's any mistakes please let me know!! :)#harry styles #harry #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine #harry imagine #one direction imagines #one direction imagine #one direction smut

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raaven-nerd · 7 years ago

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92 Questions

Special shoutout to mary @tempus-fugit-so-study for tagging me in this!

rules: answer the questions and then tag 20 people!

LAST:

1. Drink: water :)

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my friend Sabrina

4. Song you listened to: Wait For It from Hamilton

5. Time you cried: i genuinely have no clue.. I laughed so much that I had tears in my eyes yesterday if that counts, but I don’t remember the last time I actually cried

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: lolnope I’ve never dated anyone

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no because I’ve never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: nope because I’ve never dated

9. Lost someone special: sadly, yea

10. Been depressed: nope

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i’m not of legal drinking age yet so nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12. pastel pink

13. pastel blue

14. pastel purple ( i like pastels lol)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yup!!

16. Fallen out of love: i mean i’ve never been in love so

17. Laughed until you cried: pretty much every second day

18. Found out someone was talking about you: so many times omg

19. Met someone who changed you: yepp

20. Found out who your friends are: yee

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no because i’ve never kissed anyone

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them, bc i only friend people i know in real life! cybersafety is important!!

23. Do you have any pets: yee I have a pet dog

24. Do you want to change your name: when I was little yes, not anymore tho,, but it is annoying when a friend continuously calls you Michael bc a teacher accidentally misread your name

25. What did you do for your last birthday: my two closest friends came over to my house and we went on a huge walk around all the parks and stuff with our dogs

26. What time did you wake up: 8:00 AM bc it’s the weekend and there’s no school so I slept in :D

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the holidays (lmao its literally 3 weeks into term) and also fantastic beasts 2.. which comes out next year

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: literally right now (we're in the same room lol)

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could be a little bit taller :( short jokes get kinda annoying when you have to deal with them for 3 years

31. What are you listening to right now: the Hamilton soundtrack

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Thomas that was a real nice declaration-- um I dont think so?

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: people who act like they know everything but actually don't know anything and aren't cooperative (can you tell that I have a bunch of group assignments right now?)

34. Most visited websites: tumblr, youtube, facebook and gmail lol

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME.

35. Mole/s: yep

36. Mark/s: yep

37. Childhood dream: to be an artist and a doctor

38. Hair colour: black

39. Long or short hair: long (mid back length,, but i want to get it cut)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: not right now

41. What do you like about yourself: how i can easily get settled into a new environment and make friends

42. Piercings: yupp! i’ve got my ears pierced, just normal earrings with one on each ear

43. Blood type: i.. actually don’t know.

44. Nickname: michy or mich but one of my closest friends calls me micjelle because i made a typo when typing my name into her contacts list so yea

45. Relationship status: i mean i’ve never dated or fallen in love,, so single?

46. Zodiac: cancer

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: i don’t really watch TV,, but the simpsons is always good :)

49. Tattoos: nope and i don’t plan on getting one..

50. Right or left hand: right :)

51. Surgery: yepp i’ve had surgery on my left arm before

52. Hair dyed in different colour: no,, but i’d like to dip dye my hair one day

53. Sport: sure, why not? especially if it’s soccer :)

54. no question?? not questioning the no question

55. Vacation? yes? i’d really like to go to london or japan one day

56. Pair of trainers: Nike

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: well, right now i’m not eating anything so ?

58. Drinking: water lol

59. I’m about to: finish off some homework

61. Waiting for: my friends to email me so i can figure out what their opinion is on the script that i wrote for the assignment

62. Want: less assignments (i have 9 right now and i’ve only been at school for 3 weeks)

63. Get married: one day,, in the future

64. Career: medicine,, or psychology,, or veterinary.. something along those lines

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs!!

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: umm idk?

71. Sensitive or loud: a nice mix of both

72. Hook up or relationship: what

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a nice mix of both :>

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: i’ve never kissed anyone,, let alone a stranger

75. Drank hard liquor: heck no i’m underage

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i mean i’ve been like i can’t find my glasses,, but they’d be in my hand or smth

77. Turned someone down: how does one turn someone down without having been asked out?

78. Sex on the first date: what no

79. Broken someone’s heart: i don’t think anyone’s ever loved me so no

80. Had your heart broken: nope because i’ve never loved anyone

81. Been arrested: lol no

82. Cried when someone died: yes,,, multiple times

83. Fallen for a friend: i’ve never fallen so no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: yea sure

85. Miracles: yes???

86. Love at first sight: nah dude love blossoms you don’t just love

87. Santa Claus: nah dude

88. Kiss on the first date: ehhh maybe

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Christine and Sabrina

91. Eye colour: brown

92. Favourite movie: ummm.. Can I say the entire Harry Potter series + Fantastic Beasts bc i don’t want to make a decision?

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: um okay i’ll tag @thecakestudyblr @tiny-notes @intcllectual @studitiious @serenitystudies @the-ravenclaw @joannastudies @bloodystudys @journalits @mugglstudies @hystorically @bioblrnotes @typicalstudyblr @raven-studies @chickencursivecalligraphy @ashlyn-studies @alistudys @meg-is-studying @bellaandherbujo @inquiry-studies If you’ve already done this, then just ignore this xx

#tagged #tag games #mine

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cant-catch-me-now · 8 years ago

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Tagging game - About me

Tagged by: Too many people. I’m sorry. I have just been to busy to do this one, soooorrryyy.

The rules: You must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagging: @mth21 @brumr @smolsnakeking @babygroot @livealwayscrystalclear @gokkivangogh and everyone else who wants to do this, because I’m way to lazy to tag 20 people.

The last...

1. Drink - Cocio! That is some good shit right there. 2. Phone call - Patrick, my boss.

3. Text message - @mth21 4. Song you listened to - Torches by X Ambassadors 5. Time you cried - Yesterday, out of pure frustration and anger. 6. Dated someone twice - About 5 months ago? 7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Like, way too many years ago for me to remember it. 8. Been cheated on - I don’t know, man. Like, 5 years ago? 9. Lost someone special - I don’t... what? 10. Been depressed - Oh boy, when was the last time I wasn’t? (That sounded really depressing, but seriously, depression kinda sticks with you for a while) 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - I never throw up. I was drunk a few weeks back tho.

Favorite colors... 12. Midnight blue 13. Violet 14. Forest greens

In the last year, you have... 15. Made new friends - Indeed! 16. Fallen out of love - Nah. 17. Laughed until you cried - Oh yes. 18. Found out someone was talking about you - Yes, mostly positive tho, so good good good! 19. Met someone who changed you - Yeah. 20. Found out who your friends are - OH YEAH! I also found the devil wandering amongst us! 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list - No?

In general... 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life - I know each and every one of them to a certain degree. 23. Do you have any pets - Yes, I have two dogs and a goldfish named “Bob!” 24. Do you want to change your name - I don’t see why I would need to. However, I did gain a middle name just before moving to England, because english people can’t seem to understand how “Mari” is pronounced. 25. What did you do for your last birthday - I absolutely hate my own birthdays, and probably went into some sort of witness protection... 26. What time did you wake up - Sleep I’ll do when I’m dead. I have too much to do, and balancing too many jobs to sleep. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night - I was at work, watching the second Transformers film as it happened to be on TV. 28. Name something you can’t wait for - I am so incredibly exited for January, as I will be going back to England to catch up with some of my favourite people. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom - A few hours ago. 31. What are you listening to right now - The soundtrack for Ori and the Blind Forest. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom - Way to many of them. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves - Let’s see... *Takes out a long list* Let’s start with people who are mental manipulative of any form. 34. Most visited website - Twitter, Tumblr, Youtube. 35. Hair colour - Mahogany 36. Long or short hair - Short 37. Do you have a crush on someone - Hahahaha, nah. 38. What do you like about yourself - I care, I solve difficult problems easily (unless they are about me and my mental health), I act, I lead, I balance a 1000 things at the same time and do not easily crack under pressure. 39. Piercings - One in each ear 40. Blood type - B i think? 41. Nickname - Mazza, Maz, Eve, Mew... the list goes on. 42. Relationship status - In a complicated relationship with myself. 43. Zodiac - Pisces 44. Pronouns - She/Her 45. Favourite tv show - Of those currently on TV it would be Turn: Washington spies. 46. Tattoos - I have two. A tattoo that says “You’ve had your last dance” over my heart, and a Galaxy on my right wrist. 47. Right or left handed - Right 48. Surgery - I have been lucky. 49. Piercing - ... Did I not just answer this? 50. Sport - ... hahahahaha! 51. Vacation: Last time I was on a vacation, I went to Mallorca with my family. 52. Pair of trainers: Simply black.

More general... 53. Eating - Those delicious little chilly cheese bits from McDonalds. 54. Drinking - Coffee! 55. I’m about to - Realise I spent way too much time on this damned post, and not enough time on actual work. 56. Waiting for - A purpose in life... Nah, I’m playing. I’m waiting for another cup of coffee to arrive. 57. Want - Food. 58. Get married: Sure, why not. 59. Career: Director of Cinematography.

Which is better? 60. Hugs or kisses - I would say neither, but since this is not an option... Hugs I guess? 61. Lips or eyes - Eyes. Definitely eyes. 62. Shorter or taller - Taller. Tall people, I envy you! 63. Older or younger - Older... 64. Nice arms or nice stomach - Nice personality, thanks. 65. Hook up or relationship: Uuuuugh, probably relationships? 66. Troublemaker or hesitant: Both. Both is good. Mix it up a little.

Have you ever... 67. Kissed a stranger - Jup. 68. Drank hard liquor - Yes 69. Lost glasses/contact lenses - Glasses! 70. Turned someone down - Yeah. 71. Sex on the first date - No. 72. Broken someone’s heart - I have absolutely no idea, but I don’t think so? 73. Had your heart broken - Yes. 75. Cried when someone died - I have the weirdest reactions to death, so immidiatley... no... but after letting it sink in for a day or two, tears will be rolling. 76. Fallen for a friend - No.

Do you believe in... 77. Yourself - I have yet to find belief within this area. 78. Miracles - Yeah. 79. Love at first sight - No. 80. Santa claus - No. 81. Kiss on the first date - I would not necessarily say so, no. 82. Angels - You know what? Why not?

Other... 83. Current best friend’s name - Ya’ll know who you are. 84. Eye colour - Blue/green 85. Favourite movie - Boii, you do not ask a film student graduate what her favourite movie is...

#tagging game #about me

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agalarianzigzagoon · 8 years ago

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gonna put this under a read more because sara wanted me to answer them all >_>

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? i honestly have no idea. 2. Are you outgoing or shy? i’m pretty outgoing unless my anxiety is acting up. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? i’m potentially buying a ticket to RTX off of someone, so i’d be looking forward to seeing everyone there. 4. Are you easy to get along with? as long as you don’t give me shit, yes. 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? i wholeheartedly believe yes (after being texted multiple memes). 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? funny, caring, basically as long as you’re a fucking memer like i am we’re gucci. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i hope so .^. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? he knows who he is :p 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? sometimes? idk it’s weird. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? i’m p sure it was aidan because The Depression hit. 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “yeah this is the shit i come up with when i’m bored” to vix 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? everything is alright- motion city soundtrack, time won’t let me go- the bravery, breaking and entering- tonight alive, screw eyes- color therapy, the hills- the weeknd 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? i would literally melt into a puddle. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? absolutely 15. What good thing happened this summer? staying up way too late playing stupid fucking video games. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? absolutely not he turned into such a scumbag holy shit 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? i dunno, but it’d be cool to find out for certain. 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? nope, i haven’t seen him since my school closed after 6th grade. 19. Do you like bubble baths? don’t have an operational bath because the pipes are cracked, but i never really took baths. 20. Do you like your neighbors? my neighbors to the left of me (if you’re looking at my house) are weird as fuck, neighbor to the left is the sweetest person you’ll ever meet 21. What are your bad habits? biting my nails, cracking my joints really loudly. 22. Where would you like to travel? i really want to go somewhere cold. i’d love to see the northern lights. 23. Do you have trust issues? very severe ones. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? when i’m at work, coming home and being able to destress because my work environment is shit. when i’m off, going out and goofing off with niko. 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? pretty much all of it, honestly. 26. What do you do when you wake up? flop around looking for my glasses. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? i’m fine where it is right now. 28. Who are you most comfortable around? anyone from the discord chats i’m in and the few friends i retained from high school (aka sascha and inky). 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? it wasn’t even a breakup it was just “oh i moved away and mostly forgot about you” so i don’t even consider him an ex. 30. Do you ever want to get married? yeye. 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? that’s my hairstyle of choice. 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? bitch what. no. 33. Spell your name with your chin. kzasgtkied (could be worse) 34. Do you play sports? What sports? nope, but i like screaming at hockey. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv. i pretty much only keep it on as background noise anyway. 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yeah, and it sucked but oh well, things happen for a reason. 37. What do you say during awkward silences? “sooooo.......” 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? funny, willing to stick by even if things get bad, likes memes as much as i do. i’m not really picky and they don’t need to have the same interests that i do because i love hearing about things that i may not have any idea about. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? i really don’t have any? 40. What do you want to do after high school? well i’m already out of high school and all i know its not working this shitty minimum wage job. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes, unless they’ve already taken those chances for granted or done something severe. 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? that i’m extremely upset. 43. Do you smile at strangers? i try to. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? usually the fact i have to go to work, but if not, the pup. 46. What are you paranoid about? the people i care about not actually caring about me. that’s my main fear. 47. Have you ever been high? that’s a hard no. 48. Have you ever been drunk? twice. once on new year’s eve 2016 and then in january for my birthday. 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not that i can think of. 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? yellow. 51. Ever wished you were someone else? hasn’t everyone? 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? i wish i wasn’t so anxious over things. 53. Favourite makeup brand? i don’t really wear makeup but I like covergirl and prestige eyeliner. 54. Favourite store? as cringy as it is, gamestop and hot topic. but i don’t go out much. 55. Favourite blog? there’s a LOT. 56. Favourite colour? purple and blue. 57. Favourite food? chicken. 58. Last thing you ate? grape freeze pop. 59. First thing you ate this morning? bagel with cream cheese. 60. Ever won a competition? For what? i got third place in a spelling bee in 5th grade and got first place at both regionals and states for pjas (basically a pa statewide science competition). 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? i got an ISS for socking a kid who later became my crush in the nose in 4th grade because he was annoying me. 62. Been arrested? For what? nope. 63. Ever been in love? absolutely and it’s the best feeling i’ve ever felt. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? it was on the way back from a band competition, and we were all crammed onto a school bus. we were sitting in a seat together and i was tired so i kinda dozed off a little but when i woke up i was like “fucking kiss him god damn it you’ve been dating for like a month and a half” and i just DID. 65. Are you hungry right now? a little. 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i don’t really have too many “tumblr friends” that aren’t also my real friends. 67. Facebook or Twitter? facebook because i love reading the drama. 68. Twitter or Tumblr? twitter tumblr is a fucking cesspool. 69. Are you watching tv right now? just as background noise. 70. Names of your bestfriends? (most will be their online names) there’s like three sarahs/saras, vix, bonk, d, rose, rory, inky, james, aidan, quartz, bunn, hal, and cheese. (i have so many online friends holy fuck.) 71. Craving something? What? the sweet embrace of death. nah but for real like... watermelon or just fruit in general. 72. What colour are your towels? i have a blue one, a red one, and a yellow one. 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? two usually. 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? not anymore. 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? probably a good amount but they’re all in the attic. 75. Favourite animal? i love pretty much all animals but i love dogs/wolves/foxes. 76. What colour is your underwear? white. 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? why not both? 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? chocolate peanut butter swirl or mint chocolate chip. 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? reddish-magentaish? 80. What colour pants? blue. 81. Favourite tv show? my favorite of all time will always be siberia. 82. Favourite movie? twister or edward scissor hands 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls. 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? I’ve never seen 21 jump street all the way through so mean girls again. 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? don’t really have one, but if i had to pick, janis. 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? crush because who doesn’t love stoner turtles? 87. First person you talked to today? i think it was my mom. 88. Last person you talked to today? one of the many sarahs i call my friends. 89. Name a person you hate? if i say it i’ll probably get arrested lmfao. 90. Name a person you love? @riones-lair :* 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? i’m always ready to punch someone. 92. In a fight with someone? not that i know of. 93. How many sweatpants do you have? probably 5 or 6. 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? an unnecessary amount. probably 17 or 18. we collect hoodies like they're going out of style. 95. Last movie you watched? probably one of the harry potter movies 96. Favourite actress? don’t really have one. 97. Favourite actor? johnny depp because of edward scissorhands. 98. Do you tan a lot? no, i burn and i burn badly. 99. Have any pets? niko who is a massive neapolitan mastiff that farts a lot. 100. How are you feeling? sleepy and in pain. 101. Do you type fast? when i get really into doing something i can type so fast you would not believe. 102. Do you regret anything from your past? a lot of things, but the past is the past. can’t do anything about it. 103. Can you spell well? i like to think i do. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? of course, but they’re in the past for a reason. 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? a few times, my grandmother has a big backyard and we’d have bonfires back there. 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? i don’t think so. 107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes, his name was macaroni and i loved him very much. 108. What should you be doing? SLEEPING. 109. Is something irritating you right now? the slight headache i have going on. 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? once but then i realized it wasn’t worth the pain. 111. Do you have trust issues? didn’t i get asked this before? but yes. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? i don’t remember physically but while talking to someone it was quartz, aidan, and aidan’s girlfriend sarah. 113. What was your childhood nickname? usually only ever called kate. 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? farthest i’ve ever been out of state is alabama. 115. Do you play the Wii? i used to, not so much anymore. 116. Are you listening to music right now? i was but now i’m watching a twitch stream. 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yesssss. 118. Do you like Chinese food? certain types make me sick but for the most part yes. 119. Favourite book? the entire Maximum Ride series. 120. Are you afraid of the dark? not really? 121. Are you mean? really only if people are mean to me. 122. Is cheating ever okay? no. never. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? for a while, all shoes inevitably get dirty. 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes. 125. Do you believe in true love? yes. 126. Are you currently bored? somewhat. 127. What makes you happy? drawing, writing, talking to people that care about me. 128. Would you change your name? if i could get my full first name shortened to my nickname that’d be good enough for me. 129. What your zodiac sign? capricoooooorn. 130. Do you like subway? sweet onion chicken teriyaki all the way. 131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? tell him i have a boyfriend and that he should have said something like a year and a half ago lmfao. 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? pretty sure i was asked this too? but yeah, aidan. 133. Favourite lyrics right now? “i am so homesick for someone that i never knew/ i am so homesick now for someplace that i’ll never be” 134. Can you count to one million? it’ll take forever, but yeah. 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i’ve told a bunch of stupid fucking lies holy shit. 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed. 137. How tall are you? 5′6″, i’m short. 138. Curly or Straight hair? wavy. 139. Brunette or Blonde? dirty blonde. 140. Summer or Winter? winter. 141. Night or Day? night 142. Favourite month? october. 143. Are you a vegetarian? absolutely not. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk and white. 145. Tea or Coffee? tea. 146. Was today a good day? surprisingly, yes. 147. Mars or Snickers? you’re asking mars or mars. snickers, though. 148. What’s your favourite quote? as corny as it is, i love “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” 149. Do you believe in ghosts? definitely. 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Up!” - The Lake House

#here you go sara #cutesymikey

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wednesdaybeloved · 8 years ago

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my testimony: on the strange subject of return (mature subjects discussed in this post)

It’s taken five months to admit to myself that I’ve gotten into bed with a stranger.

My stranger often changes names. Sometimes, my stranger occupies my phone-book with monikers like “Tinder Ben” and “Tinder Aaron” and “DO NOT PICK UP Brian”.

My stranger often changes identities. Sometimes, my stranger stares back at me in the mirror with the faint familiarity of who I used to be. How I used to be. How I used to live.

And so I oscillate between strange things, welcoming strange new men into my bed with every ‘swipe right’ and giving strange new habits the key to my dwelling-place.

It’s all been figurative, mostly. I haven’t really broken my purity vows, mostly.

In the beginning of the semester, my first stranger slipped in to my suite unannounced. He introduced himself as ‘Lost Opportunity’ and he smelled of stale cigarettes, overly-fermented Kombucha, and, well, sex.

Shocked, I backed away from the tall, musty stranger, unsure of where he had come from or why he had found his way to my bedroom.

He cleared his throat, as if ready to recite a passage from any human history as old as time itself.

“What about the what if?”, he started.

I didn’t respond.

Mr. Opportunity took my stunned silence as an invocation, a space to be filled. “What if? What if this whole abstinence thing is arbitrary?”

“What if God is doing this to make you suffer? What if God does everything to make you suffer? Why would God make something good like sex and shame you for wanting it?”

I began to protest, “Well, I know that God has a time and a pla-”

But he was louder. “Aren’t you mad that so soon after you began your whirlwind romance with ‘Tinder Ben’, you had to give it all up because of your purity vows? Aren’t you infuriated that it seems like God doesn’t know what it’s like to be a black woman who has longed for touch all of her life?”

He was getting personal now, and I didn’t like it. I wasn’t sure if I didn’t like it because Lost Opportunity, this stranger, knew me so well or because it felt so true.

“Aren’t you upset that this one thing- if you actually did end up going over to Ben’s apartment for the weekend- would drive a mountain of undeserved guilt between you and God who created you to want to have sex in the first place?”

I knew that he knew that I was growing weak. With every new argument, I felt myself break-down as Mr. Opportunity chewed up every bit fortified bit of why I had been saving sex for marriage and spit it out like old tobacco.

“Besides, people in the Bible got married at 14 and 15, and you don’t plan on getting married until after graduate school. Unfair, much?”

“Besides, King Solomon of the Bible had 300 concubines and 700 priestesses and you just want to get to know your body with this one guy. So holy men are allowed to have unabashed sex and still be considered the wisest guys on earth, but you’ll just be another Christian girl who failed?”

“Besides, the idea of soul-ties is more than a little slut-shamey and you know your worth or value isn’t defined by how many people you’ve been with. Are you saying that all of the truths you’ve learned from feminism and womanism and loving yourself are all fake?”

“Besides, you’ve read too many thinkpiece articles about Christian women ending up petrified or in fright on their wedding nights, scarred because they were never taught how to disassociate “bad” from “sex”, scarred because they listened to an arbitrary archaic God instead of heeding to natural instinct…

Do you really want to be that woman?”

You might be surprised to know that Mr. Opportunity didn’t win that weekend. I’m quite sure I would have let the fear of Lost Opportunity convince me to go to Tinder Ben’s apartment had it not been for the 3 am texts and the necessary advice and fervent prayers of my amazing friend @blackstarising. But the battle was not yet won.

You see, Mr. Opportunity ended up making himself at home with me for the next five months. And he was a terrible roommate.

He never paid rent on time, he always left toothpaste all over the sink, and he constantly invaded my thoughts, ransacking what I held to be true and replacing my solid ground with sand.

He convinced me that I was tired of the Christian walk. Tired of blogging in Christian ministry, tired of turning the other cheek, tired of speaking in Christianese and tying up my blog with grace and making sure that I read my bible and prayed every day, tired of putting in so much effort into my Christian walk when my life seemed to have a lot more stress and a lot more worry than my friends not on that same path.

He made me upset with so many of the people in Christian culture- that we could approach injustices like Orlando with quick-and-dismissive platitudes like “maybe God forged a plan through this tragedy”, with weird and unwelcome jabs like “perhaps this will make these people turn from their sins!” That the white evangelical electorate could vote strongly in support of a bully that only pandered to Christian sensibilities with fools’ gold and “Two Corinthians” but with not much real love. (Yes, I’m generalizing, but yes, I think it’s true).

He made me remember all of the times throughout the past year that God had felt absent. I tried to protest that my God had also felt loving but I knew that Opportunity would make me count the times I felt absence and the times I felt love and I honestly wasn’t sure which would emerge with a higher count.

Of course, the doubts didn’t stop there. Of course, there came the sleepless nights. Of course, I grew hungrier and hungrier for answers and the Christian ones just couldn’t satisfy me anymore. The hundreds of blog posts I read telling me to trust God just seemed human-less. The multiple conversations I had with Christian friends who told me to not give up on hope just seemed too good to be true.

God’s plan just wasn’t enough for me anymore.

Biblical knowledge wasn’t enough anymore. One of my favorite parts of the bible, James 1, now just seemed like a sorry manipulation technique to act as if the bad things of the world were not actually the fault of an unaccountable God, and even if they were, they were designed to make us stronger instead. Job no longer seemed like a story of God’s triumph and instead, seemed like a terrible lesson wrought upon a man who didn’t deserve such misery.

Everything seemed like an excuse for God and nothing seemed like much of a reason to trust God and so Mr. Opportunity began to get comfortable with me- declined going to campus bible studies on my behalf, started to block calls from people at church asking if I needed a ride.

Lost Opportunity said it wasn’t so bad to masturbate- after all, you gave up probably amazing sex with an amazing guy for a God who doesn’t speak very often. And so I listened.

Lost Opportunity said it wasn’t so bad to go out twice a weekend- after all, you didn’t drink much your freshman and sophomore years of college and everyone is mostly legal now and alcohol isn’t so bad and FOMO hurts a lot more than a hangover does. And so I listened.

Lost Opportunity said that Christianity is the old friend that you’ve outgrown. It’s time to move it or lose it- pick your side, buddy. Move forward and move on.

And I wish I could say that I didn’t but honestly, I listened.

So yes, I let God go. He collected dust in my attic and I only brushed Him off whenever I wanted a fond memory of youth group or was reminded of a gospel melody. I only remembered God when I used His name in vain and only thought about Him when I wanted to scoff at how controlled I had been by Christianity. I dusted off God when people would ask how I was doing- if my doubts had been calmed since the last time we had spoken- and as soon as they turned around, I’d throw it back underneath the old rug, hoping that soon God could be misplaced for forever.

I was so sure that I could avoid losing out on this world if I just lost God instead. I was so certain that I couldn’t ever remember God to be the same God again- that I couldn’t ever trust His doctrine and his decrees and His love for me when the stranger in my bed had convinced me otherwise.

I lost God because I was tired of having to hold Him so close.

I’m starting this blog post now, two days after Thanksgiving, in the dead of night.

I had let a stranger in at the beginning of the semester- one small stranger, one small hesitation about ending things with Ben, one small doubt about why pre-marital sex had to be so bad- that completely renovated my whole house and locked me and my God outside of it.

*imagine a caption on Spongebob that reads “SIX WEEKS LATER…”*

It’s now the 11th of January, 2017, and I’m finally finishing this blog post. I intended on finishing and posting it when I went back to school after Thanksgiving break but got distracted by school and not trusting God all over again, and, well, porn.

I’m nervous that I’m so often flung between doubt and trust. That often, it takes a really good conversation with a friend to get me back on my Christian track again. That often, it takes enough brooding and negative thinking to believe that God is an absentee Father who doesn’t give a damn about people who are suffering and that my will makes more sense than His. That like this blog post, a post that I intended to tell of a whirlwind return back to Christ (a blog post that I started right after Thanksgiving, full of food and love and family and friends) was too good to be true. That where I am now, finishing the rest of this on the 11th of January, bitter and kinda needing to pee, is where I actually am with my faith.

I’m nervous that I’ve enjoyed living in doubt for so long- that I’ve enjoyed not feeling bad about partying, about doing more than kissing with guys, about skipping church for the entire semester. I’m nervous that I’ve enjoyed swearing when I want to and not turning the other cheek when I’ve felt wronged.

I’m nervous about where I stand. I’m nervous that my questions are too much and my doubt is far too deep. I’m nervous that I’ve come too far; that I’ve crossed the chasm, that I’ve fallen and I can’t get up (ahem…).

Most of all, I’m nervous that if I do come back to the church, my relationship with God will never be the same. That I’ll always be wary of His promises. That I’ll always be skeptical of the people next to me in the pews- that we’re not deluding ourselves, that we haven’t devoted our lives to a big nothing of invisible air, that we haven’t tricked ourselves into thinking that we’re okay with the prospect of billions of people burning forever in hell if they haven’t accepted the grace of God because we “all deserve to burn forever and ever, and it’s only by His grace…”

I wish I had an amazing comeback story. I wish that just one of the times, just one of the moments, just one of the prayers that brought me close to His arms again would be enough to snap me out of this dark hole of doubt.

Unfortunately, I don’t think return will be as easy as that. I’m not sure wanting to return will be as easy as that.

I talked to a good Christian friend tonight- a friend who is President of my ministry team at school. I’ve been sharing a lot of my doubts and questions and skepticism about faith with her and tonight she quoted the words of a pastor of a church near our school in St. Louis.

The pastor said something along the lines of:

“Christ came not to make bad people good; He came to make dead people alive.”

I liked that quote. I still have doubt. I still have worry and fear. I still am rocked with the anxiety of living a lie, of living like I don’t want to have sex with the guy who wants to hook up with me, of living like I don’t want to live by my own terms and not wait on God’s timing when in fact, I really truly do.

But I liked that quote.

And as I was searching for the parable of the prodigal son tonight to somehow tie into this blog post, I found this:

“But it was appropriate to celebrate and be glad, for this, your brother, was dead, and is alive again. He was lost, and is found.”

Your brother was dead and is alive again. And because I like that quote so much, and because I’m vain as hell, I’ve decided to replace "your brother” with my own name.

Akua was dead and could be alive again. Akua was dead and could allow God to make her alive again. And in the words of the aforementioned pastor, Christ came not to make Akua good; He came to make dead Akua’s alive.

I don’t have a good way to end this blog post, and I don’t think this is as polished as it could be. I guess this post is the beginning of a testimony- the beginning of my return, if I so allow for it. The first step towards home; my first heartbeat after a semester in the tomb.

Although I don’t know and although my doubt is no less strong and although I’m no less brooding and no less inquisitive, at least I know that I can be given new life. That I can allow myself to accept new life as it’s been given.

It’s an opportunity. Not the Mr. Opportunity that I’ve flirted with for the past five months, but an opportunity nonetheless.

On the subject of return: I’m confused. I’m afraid, and I’m not sure if I can turn back or if I’m allowed to entertain these thoughts and still search for God.

But I think this man named Jesus is knocking. And to be honest, I want to want enough courage to open the door.

I ask that today, my God may grant me that want to open the door.

- Akua

(p.s., I would appreciate your prayers and well-wishes or good thoughts at this time.

pps. I’m in the middle of a book by Lauren Winner and it’s called “Still: Notes on a Midfaith Crisis” and it’s amazing. I would highly recommend it to those struggling with faith or with life or with themselves.

ppps. thank you guys for your ears).

#me #personal

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alicedoessurveys · 8 years ago

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131 Questions

1. On Saturdays, I like to… Depends what mood I’m in or how I’m feeling. If I’m in a tired, ’cba with anything’ mood I can easily lounge in my jammies at home watching telly and playing sims. If I’m in a more energetic ‘need to get out the house’ mood ill persuade my mom to go shopping, or take the dogs out or something

2. Where would you like to be a missionary to? Idk what that means

3. What’s better — toilet paper rolled over top or underneath? Over

4. Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) Probably shaggy and scooby cause I’m scared of everything

5. If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? Idk, hurricane maybe? Id rather not be in any disaster tbh

6. What movie or TV show do you take guilty pleasure in watching? Not gonna lie, there are some shows on kids tv I actually enjoy watching

7. If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be? Ive had a mental block and I can’t think of any traffic signs

8. What traditional stereotype would you classify yourself as? I don’t think I really fit into one stereotype. im kind of a nerd but not 100% nerd

9. What “group” did you belong to in high school? My group was a mishmash of people. we were branded as the weird, geeky, unpopular group by most people

10. If you wrote a book about yourself…what would it be about? Probably about my experience with mental health and how it affected my school/college years

11. If your house were burning down, what would you take and why? obviously first thing id do would be check my family and pets were safe. Then id grab my laptop, the teddy I’ve had since I was born and try to get the two boxes from under my bed that I keep my memories in.

12. Describe your favorite pair of PJ’s. My favourites at the moment are my Christmas ones I bought myself this year. They’re red and white, with a kind of Christmas jumper pattern on them. Its hard to describe them but they’re super cosy

13. How many handbags do you own? Like two, I’m not big on handbags. I buy one and keep it until its dies then get a new one

14. If this were your last day alive, what would you say to your friends? Thank them for sticking with me and giving me some great memories

15. What is your very favorite part of your day? getting into bed at the end of the day

16. What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it. I don’t consider any of my scars ‘best’.. the one that has the most meaning is the one on my stomach. Its from when my appendix burst when I was two years old and my parents said It was 50/50 wether I survived or not

17. You win a million dollars, but you have to give half to a charity. Which charity do you pick, and what do you do with the rest of the money? probably Birmingham dogs home, or dogs trust

18. Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. IF I every do get married, I would like a winter/christmas wedding cause Christmas is my favourite time of year and winter weather is a bit more predictable. Id want to get married in a church, then go to a big castle hall for the reception. Honeymoon in lapland!

19. What kind of deodorant do you use? I think its either dove or sure..? I can’t remember. its a spray deodrant though, can’t deal with those horrid wet stick ones

20. If you were a spy what would your alias be? is alias like, spy name? I don’t know, I can’t think of anything cool haha

21. Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Nope, don’t think so

22. You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to your guest list to keep the dinner talk interesting? Edie Redmayne because.. its eddie redmayne and he’s just adorable. kate mckinnon would be a freakin’ amazing dinner party guests I chose her and I can’t think who id chose for the third person.. maybe Walt Disney. NO WAIT, JOHNNY DEPP!! I choose Johnny Depp, I feel like he’d have a lot of great stories

23. What is your favorite sport, and which team of that sport do you cheer for? None

24. Which would you rather have a kiss or a hug? Why? Hug

25. If you could be a pair of jeans what style would you be? Why? Skinny jeans, so I could be skinny :’)

26. You have multiple personalities, describe some of them. too many to go into

27. What is the best thing you have done in your life? Probably passing my driving test. OR, when I was 17 I got certified as a Zumba instructor. even though I ended up having to give up Zumba, thats probably the thing I’m the most proud of in my life so far. As someone who suffers anxiety/panic attacks it was a massive achievement to travel to blackpool, go dance at Winter Gardens ballroom ON MY OWN in a room full of strangers for 6 hours, and come out with a certificate.

28. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Everything. It would be awful. Id probably miss seeing my dogs faces the most

29. What household chore do you hate the most? Washing the dishes, or hanging my clothes up in the closet

30. What is your most disappointing moment in life? the whole college experience. dropping two of my a levels, failing the other two. Then dropping out of college course. And again, dropping out of another college course. Not a great 3 years for me.

31. When have you laughed the hardest? Cried? today. I realised my dog’s haircut made him look like Edna Mode from the incredibles.. easily amused. Last time I cried, Im not sure. The last time I remember crying was Christmas Eve

32. If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be? My cellophane from Chicago? Haha idk

33. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? General appearance. Probably what they’re wearing, their hair, their face. If I’m up close face to face with someone the first thing I notice are eyes and mouth

34. What time period from the past would you most have liked to live in and why? 80s, I like the music

35. What is the best reward anyone can give you? support

36. If you had a band what would you name it? Idk, I used to have a name I said I would use but I can’t remember now

37. Do you like fruit? Vegetables? Not really. The only fruit I like is apples and bananas. The only veg I like are peas

38. What can someone do to encourage you? tell me they believe in me and be genuine about it

39. If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why? What a bazaar question haha! Erm, the one from coco pops? The monkey

40. What was the best thing that happened to you this weekend? New Years day. i spent the day surrounded by family at my sisters house and we stayed they’re till almost 2am playing heads up and singing too loud

41. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Ffs, I don’t know what an adjective is :’) favourite animal: dogs. Loyal, cuddly, goofballs

42. What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Again with the adjectives, gah! Fave colour, purple. I don’t know why, I just like it leave me alone

43. It’s a very hot and muggy day. You desperately want something very cool and refreshing to quench your thirst and revitalize your body. What would you drink — either make your own or store-bought. Cold water obvs

44. You discover that the person you’re head-over-heels interested in loves a good homemade & handmade dessert. What will you concoct when you have this person over? Cookies, either salted caramel or Nutella filled

45. What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most? Idk, I don’t really have anything to leave :’)

46. What do you consider to the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? Child: probably something stupid like dolls. Teenager: idk, laptop? Now: again probably laptop since I bought a new one yesterday. I would say dog but I don’t own the dog

47. What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? Idk

48. If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? Actress, or dancer. Or animal trainer for movies/tv

49. What are your best/worst subjects in school and what subjects would you want to learn now? Best subjects: none. Worst subjects: all of them, but especially science.

50. What are you most talented at? Nothing :’)

51. What is your worst nightmare today? Still being the way I am now this time next year

52. How often do you clean between your toes? Idk, like almost every day I think

53. What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught? I don’t have a job so idk

54. If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Tina in Fantastic Beasts.. being part of that amazing film AND getting to spend all that time with Eddie Redmayne <3

55. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? I don’t want to be apart of a circus

56. If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? Having to go to the bathroom <- yup, that

57. You were just given a yacht. What would you name it? the mad hatter

58. If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? ‘Dont expect everything to get better in college. It only gets worse’

59. You’ve just been hired to a promotions position at Kellog Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? These questions are hard man

60. Just like “Everybody Wang Chung tonight!”, what action would your name be if it were a verb? wtf

61. Name your favorite song. At the moment, I’m loving Todrick Hall ‘no place like home’

62. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? I have a tattoo. I have 3 musical notes behind my ear. I want another tattoo, i want a lighthouse on the side of my foot under my ankle

63. If you could play any musical instrument, what would it be and why? If you already play an instrument(s), what do you play and why? ive just started playing the ukulele, my dad bought me one for Christmas

64. When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? I never went trick or treating

65. Why do you live in the Washington DC area? I dont :’)

66. What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? Just Christmas in general

67. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? I haven’t done anything outrageous.. the most ‘unlike me’ thing I did was stand up in front of my church and give a testimony. It was terrifying and I cried with relief when it was over haha

68. If a movie was being made of your life and you could choose the actor/actress to play you, who would you choose and why? Jennifer Lawrence

69. Paper or plastic? Paper I guess idk

70. What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? I don’t eat anything weird, I’m a very boring eater

71. What do you keep in the trunk of your car? I have a basket which I keep de-icer, ice scraper, washer liquid, a torch, gloves, hat, tennis balls and dog poop bags

72. When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? I wanted to be someone who looked after peoples cats when they went on holiday.. don’t ask why

73. If you owned a CB radio what would your “handle” be? I dont know what that means

74. If you were given 24 hrs to live, what would you do? I can’t even, questions like this stress me out

75. If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question) i dont know, probably bring the dog on stage and dance with him or something haha

76. What do you think the most ultimate gift of the world is? Uh.. idk. I feel like this survey is gonna be really boring cause most my answers are ‘idk’

77. What is your earliest childhood memory? Earliest memory is mom dropping me off at preschool and my crying my eyes out being carried off by the teacher

78. What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up? I had many. I had a lot of veggitales videos

79. If you had one extra hour of free time a day, how would you use it? Either sleep, or just more time sitting on the sofa wasting my life

79. What CD is in your CD player right now? Rend Collective, Campfire II

80. The great theologian Andy Warhol stated that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame. What happened during your 15 minutes? Still waiting for mine

81. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. I met the wanted, Andy Jordan and literally bumped into laurence llewelyn-bowen in hobby craft last year

82. Name your favorite children’s story. Anything by road Dahl, the whole chronicles of Narnia or the grufflo

83. If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? hmm.. I haven’t mentioned eddie redmayne enough in this survey so ill say him :’) or Kate McKinnon.. love her

84. What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? Esther was my favourite growing up, and now I’m older I identify with her a lot

85. What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? A hoodie because you can pull the hood over your head and hide away just like I’ve been doing for a long time <-this

86. If you were to write a book what would it be about? Im sure I answered this question earlier..?

87. How many rings before you answer the phone? I don’t really do that. I see who’s ringing and I either answer it or I don’t

88. What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning? Lie there contemplating wether to wake up or go back to sleep

89. If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? Pay off they money I owe. Pay off parents debts, and sisters debts. Give them money. Buy a house in Bournemouth. Set up a doggy day care business.

90. If you had to, what part of your body would you get pierced? No thanks

91. Who was your favorite teacher and why? My English/drama teacher in the first year of senior school. She found out I was having difficulties and became like a mentor to be. She helped me out a lot.

92. What makes you feel the most secure? My family

93. Who do you admire the most? Mom

94. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it? I’ve had dreams about my teeth falling out a few times. Recently I keep having dreams about being in bed with spiders and snakes crawling on me and wake up hitting my duvet and generally freakin the f out

95. What was your nickname growing up? Bong

96. Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? My dad. I would try to play his guitars and would tag along with him when he went to his evening jobs

97. Peanut or plain? Peanut or plain what..?

98. What is your favorite cartoon character & why? I don’t actually know

99. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? all I remember is my dad took me to the park and held on to the bike while I cycled, then let me go and I rode into a tree

100. Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? The ability to jump to the worst conclusion in the quickest time

101. What’s the closest you’ve come to becoming a pop star/winning an Oscar? No where near

102. When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? I honestly can’t think of anything

103. What is your concept of a fruitful day? I dont know what that means..

104. What was your favorite thing to play with as a child? Why? I was quite an active child, I spent a lot of time climbing trees and running around outdoors. When I wasn’t doing that, my favourite toys were bratz dolls

105. If you could be any animal in the world for 24 hours, which animal would you be? Why? a bird, I would love to experience flying

106. Have you ever jumped out of a plane? Nope, im not adventurous enough for that

107. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Hate/war/terror

108. What is your best personal characteristic? Ughhhh I hate questions like this, I’m not good at saying nice stuff about myself

109. What is your favorite quote? “And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those you don’t believe in magic will never find it.” - Roald Dahl

110. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Sneak onto a film set and see what its like

111. What is your favorite weird food combination? Im not into any weird food combinations. Like I said earlier, I’m not adventurous enough

112. If you had to be a flower, which one would you like to be and why? Maybe a rose, cause they’re pretty but they have thorns so they fight back again people who try to pick them :’)

113. If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books and three people would you take with you? 3 books: Fantastic beasts and where to find them, Harry Potter and the cursed child (cause its the one I’m reading atm) and a bible. 3 people: my mom, my dad and my sis  114. My biggest pet peeve is… People in general

115. What is your favorite commercial? What commercial annoys you the most? I don’t really have a favourite. they all tend to annoy me after a while. OH WAIT! One advert I will never get fed up of is the Coca Cola Christmas one, ‘Holidays are Coming’

116. What’s the most interesting “Ice Breaker” Question you have ever been asked? I avoid situations that require ice breaker questions.

117. If you could be an ice cream flavor, what would it be? Why? Salted caramel, cause its my fave idk

118. Name a turning point in your life that makes you smile/cry. Makes me cry: probably the year I dropped out of college for the third time, got dianosed with depression then got ill with thyroid shit Makes me smile: maybe, going back to church this year because its changed my life for the better and set our family on an exciting journey thats just beginning :)

119. If there were a holiday in your honor what would it celebrate? everyone who isn’t perfect, who is awkward, and fails at stuff a lot

120. What clubs were you a member of in High School? Are you still interested in any of the same things? I joined a drama club for like a week before it got shut down because there wasn’t enough members

121. If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why? Probably big brother, I have no talents so I couldn’t go on anything else :’)

122. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why? Someone with talent. preferably someone who could sing, dance and act and was in musicals

123. If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it? ‘Make the effort to make someone smile today’

124. If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? The ability to get animals to like me

125. If you were a Smurf, what would your name be? Awkward smurf, talentless smurf, failure smurf

126. What is your worst personality characteristic? Please refer to previous answer

127. If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? well I completed a night course in canine behaviour so I guess I could teach how to care for and train dogs

128. How would you like to be remembered? Someone who made people smile

129. What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? Whether I’m doing the right thing or not. what I should be doing with my life.

130. What do you like best about your hometown? I don’t know, I guess the fact that its got a nice reputation

131. Something interesting you might not know about me is… Im not very interesting..

#survey #long

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