#why aren’t there more himbo aliens :( | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hintofelation99 · 3 years ago

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Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.

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nagdabbit · 3 years ago

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MY GIRLFRIEND HAD THINGS ABOUT DYNAMITE TO SAY AGAIN

"theyre really gonna make me watch hager. theyre really gonna do me like this. the opener is hangman's slot, fuck outta here with this."

"undefeated! bruh, this bitch only had three fights, and the last one was a dq cuz he can't keep it above the belt. that ain't something to be proud of, that's literally doing mma wrong."

"this man is a dumb, transphobic cunt." - this one wasn't a joke, it's just true.

"wardlow is just a great big boxer boi, huh."

"this is booooooring, fake mma is boring. regular mma is boring and it's literally one of my hobbies!"

siobhan upon getting even more bored: "i'm gonna make tea in honor of... this. its just honey for wardlow and a whole bottle of vodka to forget." me: "how is that tea?" siobhan: "ill use icecubes shaped like leaves. it still counts."

"i still think i should be allowed to hang with kingston for just like ten minutes. that's all we need to cause significant property damage."

"i need someone to clip darby yeeting himself at someone, but add the song wrecking ball."

"i am still manifesting hook's shoulder-waist ratio. can you imagine? those shoulders and my tits. exquisite."

"who hasn't won a fight with the clever use of zipties?" *darby proceeds to lose* "alright, fine, *I* have won a fight with the clever use of zip ties."

"small arn better wrestle in those goddamn loafers."

"kris is the best friend with custody of their single collective braincell, right? right? you're not agreeing with me. why aren't you agreeing with me?"

"i have no notes, this match was perfect, i would die for all of these himbos and the alien."

"peter avalon should be the leader of the wingmen and the fact that he isnt is a hatecrime against me, personally."

"i just think, personally, this callis character should be murdered. and in case this is ever used as evidence in a court of law, i am making a joke, but also callis isn't real, so." *several seconds of googling later* "oh he IS real. huh."

"wrestling sure is kinky, huh?"

"i just think that hook and his dorito shoulder-waist ratio should wrestle, not small arn."

sitting up straight and yelling, "HEY, SMALL ARN IS VERY GOOD, ACTUALLY? DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?"

"i take back the joke about about loafers, i like this young old man."

"when does andrade debut, why is he not in a ring wrecking shop right this instant, why am i not watching andrade."

"i do not care for the blondes. they bore me."

apropos of nothing, during a commercial break: "did i ever tell you about that time i snapchat'd running from the cops? like i was recording them while they chased me through a park, right? i dont remember why, i think i was just walking home and walked by a crime but i dont fuck with bacon so i booked it. that's like the same energy of joey janela. joey would snapchat running from the cops."

"they havent booked penelope vs jade cargill because they know i would absolutely cause major flooding in this region and don't want that on their conscience."

"oh, she f l e x i b l e."

"miro is so menacing and terrifying, but he could honestly talk my goddamn pants off."

"if anyone hurts vickie i will lose my goddamn mind. i will riot. i will drive to florida and wreck a bitch."

"santana and ortiz are my favorite tag team, i want it on record. they're good boys, brent."

"shut the fuck up dash." - she couldnt remember which was dax and which was cash

"oh they're still doing just the one women's match a week, huh. i see how it is. does tony just not like women?"

"i looked up smart mark sterling and unfortunately i would die to protect him."

"i want to fight jade. in both the horny and non-horny way."

various names shes called the young bucks because she refuses to remember their name(s): buckaroo bozos, mikey and nike, buck offs, jim and the other one, the fraternal twins, steel panther, matthew 7:21 (and i quote, "it's the only verse i remember that isnt the cold steve one), knob jackson, the fuck outta here, frat boys, alter boys, not this dumbass again, mrs. jackson's greatest shames, discount lucha bros, horse girls

"what the fuck do you mean karl is the older one?!"

"i like kaz. let him do like one murder, he's earned it."

"put penta in a dc movie, you cowards."

"go back to impact, leave my son eddie alone you fucks."

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harostar · 2 years ago

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Love and Thunder

Just some quick thoughts and rambling. But basically more Kirby-ish adventures and feels.

The fucking Goats. I kept waiting for one of them to die, only for the horror of realizing that NO THESE GOATS ARE IMMORTAL YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE THAT FUCKING SCREAMING. Angry screaming giant goats. I was denied Immortal Goat Resurrection but it’s okay but we got the reminder of why goats got associated with evil and its partially because of their creepy eyes and their screaming at everything.

This whole movie is about the loneliness of closing off your heart, and how you just have to open it and be willing to risk being hurt because it’s worth it.

“EVERYONE ADMIRES AND RESPECTS ZEUS BECAUSE HE’S THE OLDEST AND WISEST”. No I’m pretty sure Zeus is in charge of the city of the gods because he’s that Dudebro that has all the best parties and he won’t invite you if you aren’t “cool” with him. (I saw people complain they “ruined Zeus” but like.....hello? 99% of Greek mythology was “And then Zeus and his penis ruined everything” like he’s the classic Petty Selfish Asshole that ruins everything.

Okay yeah it was silly but also perfect to have Thor decide the best way to save the kidnapped children from the monsters was to ENCHANT WHATEVER JUNK THEY FOUND and temporarily give them all The Power of Thor.

Likewise, they never outright confirm it but the implication that Mjölnir had gained a secondary Enchantment by accident. That Thor whispering to it to take care of Jane and it responding laid the ground-work for it calling her when she was Worthy and needed it.

When two rock aliens love one another, they hold hands over a lava pool for two months. And then a baby rock forms in their hands. (His name is Dwayne, because of course we needed gay rock aliens with puns.)

And ultimately, throwing out the comics’ method of Gor being defeated in favor of a more uplifting and anti-nihilist ending. It wasn’t brute force, or being Right and Just(tm), or making him realize he’d become what he hated.

It was just.....making him realize that he could have whatever he wanted. And challenging him to decide between killing all the gods....or giving his daughter a second chance.

I legit didn’t realize until the end that her name was actually “Love”. Not a nickname, not him speaking affectionately to his child.

The “Love” in the title isn’t about Jane. It’s about the little girl that liked to draw and died a tragic death because of a cruel god that didn’t care, but got to have a second chance because her father finally found gods that did care.

So I guess the next Thor adventure is the classic Thor vs Heracles.

HIMBO VS HIMBO COMBAT GO.

#thor love and thunder

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my-writings-and-musings · 4 years ago

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Could you do Himbo king Riptide with the oxygen loss?

Yes

But first

Thank you for giving him the best possible nickname and bestowing upon him the GREATEST of all titles he is forever the Himbo King in my heart oh my GOSH.

Part One: Here!

Part Two: Here!

Part Three: Here!

Part Four: Here!

Part Five: Here!

Part Six: Here!

Part Seven: Here!

Part Eight: Here!

Part Nine: Here!

Part Ten: Here!

Part Eleven: Here!

Part Twelve: You're Here!

Riptide

·Having often been dismissed or even mocked for his struggles understanding things that come so easy to others, he was relieved when you met him and were entirely accepting, turning his curiosity for earth to fondness for you in particular. For your part, you simply found his sweetness absolutely charming from the very beginning. While he also has a bit of a mischievous streak, that only contributed to the appeal, and the aquatic Autobot had you smitten fast. Now you're inseparable and everyone knows it. Today you're hanging out by the oil reservoir to chat, complete with some drinks to enjoy as you do so, though they're somewhat forgotten by the snuggle happy Riptide. Not being one for quiet contemplation doesn't stop him from enjoying mostly wordless cuddling sessions in the peaceful chamber.

·You're gaining a static charge thanks to his enthusiastic and cat like nuzzles against you, but you couldn't care less, especially because you know silent affection means he's quite content. A little kiss on his nasal crest earns you a growling purr, and when his optics meet your eyes you can see he's trying to think of something suave to say. The effort alone is sweet enough for you to willingly wait as long as he needs. Unfortunately, he doesn't get the opportunity to finish. There's a very mood ruining tremor that turns into a ground shaking quake, one that sends the reservoir turning over until a wave of oil is sent your way. Thankfully the bot you're dating is able to react on the spot, transforming into a boat and balancing you on his back until the ship grows still and the wave returns to the tank, at which point Riptide reverts to bipedal mode and holds you above the mess.

·Knowing that things aren't supposed to just tumble about, he tries to message someone for an explanation but finds he can't reach anyone. That immediately worries him, but not for his own sake. On instinct, he looks to your tiny form in his hands, knowing that any trouble will prove disastrous for your squishy self. Even if this is just a technical problem, you might get hurt, and he can't let that happen! He has to get you somewhere safe... The challenge of figuring out where is what's difficult, as the entire ship could be dangerous, and he's not accustomed to going away from potential trouble... You can see the panic growing on his face as you catch your breath, and a reassuring request to share the problem coaxes him into speaking.

·You listen diligently as he lays out the problem, his optics growing more worried as he explains the need to assist clashing with his priority to you, and admittedly the concern is touching. Had he been by himself, no doubt he'd have just fearlessly charged for the problem to help. Putting your own mind to the predicament, the possibility of a solution to all present issues becomes clear; the medical bay. No sooner have you posited the destination than he begins acting on it, cheerily praising the sense of it as he holds you close and starts moving. Despite being your proud protector, he doesn't mind leaving planning like this to you, as in fact it makes you and him a kind of dynamic duo. Now that the plan has been set, it's his job to be the muscle and keep you safe...

·There's a kind of comfort to be found in Riptide's arms, even with everything being so tense and quiet around the ship. Between his speed, strength and dedication, there's very little in the universe that could threaten you in his company. It makes you appreciate every moment being held so close to his warm frame. The big bot certainly notices you snuggling close in the silence, and he fights the urge to be talkative as he holds you closer, letting your small form settle naturally against his spark. Somehow he doesn't feel so on edge with you nearby. In fact, not much is scary at all with you in his life, and as an MTO he's spent a lot of time afraid. There's been so much fighting and death from the first day he awoke, and now he feels there can truly be something else for a change, even in moments like this.

·He knows enough about irony to realize that the ambush he walks right into is very ironic. Thankfully, he's honed his reflexes more than well enough to both dodge the first incoming hit and to move into a protective stance around you without hesitation. Outnumbered, he moves swiftly from the center of the circling aliens, each as big as he is but far slower. Shoulder checking one to facilitate an escape, he has just enough time to spot a little alcove a small distance ahead, and for your sake he makes an immediate decision. With a command for you to run, he releases you from his cupped palms and turns to fight off the attackers. All he can do is hope you understand and that he can fight off this many bad guys at once. Knowing that he has to, for both your sakes, doesn't help him as much as he thinks it should.

·Though you're more than a little rattled by the rush of action, you've learned enough in the past few months to recover from such things quickly, and the command for you to run is all you need to get moving. Loud sounds of combat fill your ears as you take off, but you don't stop. Cover is needed before you can check on your partner, instinct tells you. A shot from an energy weapon nearly takes away your hope of seeing him again when it hurls dangerously close. Heat singes your hair and makes you stumble, but you still manage to hobble behind a corner and into a human sized alcove. Only then, burned to a very uncomfortable but not dangerous degree, do you look back at Riptide. To your relief, he's managed to turn the tide of battle and is finishing off the last enemy with his bare hands, sharp dentae bared as he fights like a bot twice his size.

·From his own perspective, Riptide thought everything was a blur after he saw you stumble from a close encounter with blaster fire. Uncertain if you'd even gotten up, or what injuries you might have suffered, he'd gone into a rage assuming the very worst. The alien who'd taken the shot had been the first to go, their weapon crumbling in his servos to burn them with its acidic ammo, but pain hadn't been much of an obstacle in the face of worry. It had almost seemed like one blink of his optics had been all that passed between the start and end of the bloodshed. As soon as the last threat had been dealt with, his focus had shifted fearfully back to you, or at least where he'd last seen you. His spark almost sang to see you looking right back at him. Wincing from injuries he had been too preoccupied to feel before, he smiled through it all before kneeling to welcome you back to his arms in a careful embrace.

·Despite the burning afflicting your arms and face, bright pink blood was your first concern, especially that which dripped from a fist sized crater in his chest. Fussing over him without a care for yourself, you were lifted in a gentle hand as he tried to walk while reassuring you. Frankly, the discoloration to certain parts of your skin seems far more pressing a concern from his perspective, as he's never seen it look so flushed or give off so much heat. Suggesting that you take it easy the rest of the way to the medbay, he points out your still rapid breaths as a sign you need to relax. Even if he doesn't understand "breathing" he's seen it often enough to figure out you only speed it up when stressed. You find yourself surprised upon realizing you are indeed quite out of breath even now.

·Something lurches in his spark when he sees a disturbing slouch to your entire body, as if the adrenaline has finally faded and something awful is hitting you without its shield. Dizzy and quite exhausted, you lay yourself down in the palm holding you gently to try and regain some semblance of concentration, but find the allure of sleep to be growing by the second. Your brush with death must have taken a lot out of you... It's impossible to ignore how nice it is to relax and close your eyes. Even the pain of your injuries is so much more bearable when consciousness slips further away, and you suddenly can't think of many reasons to resist, even as your partner starts insistently asking why you want to sleep.

·Riptide goes right back to panicking as you start to power down in his arms no matter how he requests you stay awake. Tears start dotting his optics as the worst of possibilities run rampant through his mind, forcing him to run despite his own injuries to get you help before it's too late. What if you suffered some human injury he didn't know was possible during the fight? What if he couldn't get you to help in time? What if this was all his fault? Pleading for you to stay awake, he ignores the pain in his body as he continues to make himself run, half uncertain he's going the right way in his panic. Thinking borders on impossible with the hurt and grief warring inside of him. All he knows is that he can't lose you, and in the back of his processor a wicked bit of loathing taunts him for messing up in ways that a smart bot never would have.

·Limping into the medical bay, he brushes off immediate concern for his own injuries to hold you up and plead for somebot who knows how to fix you. The medics react quickly, having trained to treat humans with you on board, and First Aid informs him of a breakdown in the ship's atmospheric controls. Not understanding the finer details of the issue, he's nevertheless able to figure out you were in a kind of danger he wasn't even aware of. Seeing you be stabilized and bandaged makes him happy for only the shortest of moments. It hardly seems any of this could have happened if you had been with a bot who was smart enough to grasp these things. From the ambush to the delay just in getting you here, it isn't hard to conclude he's responsible for your suffering...

·Having not truly lost consciousness until the medics put you under to recover, you know where you are when wakefulness stirs your limbs, but that doesn't stop you from feeling a touch confused. Accustomed to waking in the presence of one particular bot, you stretch out your hand in a blind search for a familiar presence. A warm digit presses into your palm without delay. Opening your eyes to a beloved face partially obscured by an oxygen mask, you're relieved to see the injuries he endured protecting you have been patched up to the best of Autobot medical ability, leaving little more than a few bandages to mark their presence. However, the usually perky bot is looking absolutely distraught. Grey optics make it clear to you he's been crying. Without a pause, you ask him if he was hurt worse than initially thought, or if something terrible happened to someone else.

·At your concern he sheds more tears, both touched by your words and feeling wholly undeserving of their compassion. He can't help but say how all of your troubles are his fault, as anyone who was actually smart would have taken you here right away. They also would have been able to avoid walking right into an ambush, something only bots as slow as himself would do, because he's just so dumb. At his last word you grab his digit insistently, unable to stand up and stop such talk as you usually do when teasing gets to him. Hearing you say that such talk simply isn't true, that you adore him and he made the decisions that likely saved your life in addition to fighting off a team of aliens... Your words help, as they always do. Though he's still quite rattled at the idea of nearly losing you.

·Gesturing to his still healing wounds, you assure him that you're afraid as well, because there's a lot out there capable of hurting you both. But, together, you stand a chance. That gives him pleasant pause. Recalling how he'd compared the two of you to a kind of dynamic duo, he smiles and leans in to you as he does when seeking cuddles. Careful of your own bandages, you let him snuggle close and pet his crest just the way he likes, encouraging him to relax. Forming a protective wall around you, he's able to get some much needed rest alongside you, looking far more peaceful at the prospect of always having you beside him.

#transformers #maccadam #mtmte #more than meets the eye #lostlight #lost light #ll #idw #tf #my writing #my asks #anon #requests #riptide #riptide x reader #HIMBO KING

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aforrestofstuff · 4 years ago

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TOP 5 FAVE W O M A N MOMENTS

I gotcha, anon. Sorry this is so late! I took forever trying to gather these panels and despite my efforts, they are mostly potato quality. Thanks for your ask, though! ❤️

In no particular order:

1. Fubuki putting the fear of God into Do-S

It’s not often we get to see Fubuki tear shit up, and I think this is the one of only few times we’ve seen her use her signature move in the manga (not counting that one omake where she fucks up all those little spiders). It was up until this point that I thought of her to be super... weak? Like, I thought this whole time she was just using her status as Tatsumaki’s little sister to wrangle up a bunch of hooligans as her underlings but I’ve found that to be a fat fucking lie. She’s super badass in her own right. She even resisted Do-S’ love magic whip thingy because her will is just that strong.

Fubuki doesn’t need to be Tatsumaki’s little sister to be feared, she just needs to be pissed off.

Personally, we don’t give Fubuki enough credit in terms of strength and raw “fuck ‘em up” power. I know she didn’t win this fight (technically), but Do-S is a demon threat monster and even some of the S-Class have a hard time with demon threats (cough cough, Zombieman and Pureblood). And, not to mention, Fubuki was also fending off her entire crew—who were taken under the influence of Do-S’ super BDSM love spell magic—this entire fight!

Darkness Blade was also involved somewhere but this ain’t about him. Moving on:

2: Do-S would’ve straight up merked Amai Mask’s crackheaded ass had he not been an actual freak of nature

(Sorry for the microwave quality pictures but we’ve all read the manga right? Just use your imagination.)

So, prior to Murata reworking the entire “Amai Mask commits homicide via his own damn hands” segment with Do-S, we had Do-S basically surrendering herself to Amai at the sight of him dicing up her love slaves at the speed of light (the merc squad). I did not like this AT ALL. I thought Do-S was a kickass character and for her to have this stupid death scene was really disappointing.

Thankfully, Murata thought the same thing. She still fucking died, of course, but she gets a little more... er, dignity? Idk, she’s just badass.

Amai Mask pretty much slams her skull into the wall, gives her like 13 concussions, and when he thinks he’s in the clear—BAM! Elastigirl powers, bitch! Do-S wraps herself around Amai and utilizes her freaky ass Alien-esque snake tongue to drill into his eyeball as her last stand before death. And this is why I think it’s valid that Fubuki had such a hard time dealing with her, because if it were any other S/A-Class hero (besides Zombieman, Superalloy, Genos... and maybe even Metal Bat) that got their brains drilled into via snake tongue, they would’ve died. If it were Child Emperor, Puri Puri, or even Atomic Samurai at the other end of her attack, they would’ve been FADED, man! It’s only because Amai has those bullshit monster invulnerability powers that he survived.

In conclusion: Do-S got done dirty the first time around, but Murata has since redeemed himself by giving her some wicked elastic powers and nearly dealing the final blow to Amai before dying. She’s also rlly sexy uwu

3. It is written somewhere in the Geneva Conventions that using Captain Mizuki’s thighs as a means of destruction is considered a war crime

First of all: holy fuck I’m horny.

Second of all: UUUH??????? This is 100% just Murata’s death by snu-snu fetish in action but I’m not complaining. Mizuki is super badass. I’m not a fan of this trope that women in male-dominated media have to give up their femininity in order to be taken seriously, so I was expecting at least one female character in OPM to be a mirror reflection of this shitty trend (judging by ONE’s track record of being allergic to women). However, OPM is all about taking tropes and putting them in a meat grinder. Mizuki is super feminine, bubbly, and positive! And that doesn’t make her any less of a fearsome opponent to these monsters, which is something I can really appreciate.

Overall, OPM has very few female characters (which is bad), but the treatment of the few we have is very good when compared to other media of the same medium. I’ve said before how I enjoy the fact that both sexes are treated as equal opportunity fanservicing, and I think it’s fitting to reverberate that here.

Mizuki is hot as hell, but she’s also strong, fun, and a ray of fucking sunshine. Her and Mumen would be great friends, now that I think of it!

4. Shadow Ring said SIKE

UNDERAPPRECIATED QUEEN RIGHT HERE ^^^^^^^

She’s so badass in the entirety of the surface strike sequence we get before the heroes enter the Monster Association base (take a shot every time I say badass. Try it, you’ll die).

I was super impressed by how strong she is?? And the whole time I’m reading this fight sequence I’m just like.... why aren’t we seeing more of her. She should have just as much screen time as Stinger! She was even noticed by Ninja Extraordinaire, Flash Flash; and she played a pretty big part in getting the S-Class to open their eyes to the combat prowess of the lower classes. If it weren’t for her, I fully believe the strike team would’ve had a much harder time penetrating the monsters’ defenses.

Also she’s cute as hell. All of the other female characters in OPM are over the top supermodel sexy (again, not complaining), so it’s refreshing to get someone that goes against the status quo (which as I’ve said before, OPM is kinda all about). Whenever we see her unmasked in those little volume extras Murata makes, I just want to squeeze her cheeks like an annoying aunt.

I forgot to mention this in the Mizuki section, but I think it also applies here: her teammates never point out the fact that she’s a woman. There’s no commentary on it, no snide “oh hurr hurr you’re a girl under the mask?” comments, just women kicking ass and male counterparts kicking ass alongside them, which is another thing I appreciate. It’s not often we get women in manga just.... existing. It seems there’s always gotta be a good reason for writers to insert female characters into their stories (WHY), but not here. Shadow Ring’s sole purpose in the story is to kill monsters and look cool while doing it. She gets the same treatment as all the other himbos around her.

I am completely aware that my say on the subject of gender equality in media could be completely invalid because I’m a cis dude but those are just my THOTS

5. Lily being 14 and always ready to murder

Lily stole my wallet and kicked my ass :(

#asks #ask game #Fubuki #do s #OPM #one punch man #captain Mizuki #metal bat #child emperor #zombieman #shadow ring #flashy flash #atomic samurai #Amai mask #Tatsumaki

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rawliverandcigarettes · 4 years ago

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Mass Effect Retribution, a review

Mass Effect Retribution is the third book in the official Mass Effect trilogy by author Drew Karpyshyn, who happens to also be Lead Writer for Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2.

I didn’t expect to pick it up, because to be very honest I didn’t expect to like it. 9 years ago I borrowed Mass Effect Revelations, and I still recall the experience as underwhelming. But this fateful fall of 2020 I had money (yay) and I saw the novel on the shelf of a swedish nerd store. I guess guilt motivated me to give the author another try: guilt, because I’ve been writing a Mass Effect fanfiction for an ungodly amount of years and I’ve been deathly afraid of lore that might contradict my decisions ever since I started -but I knew this book covered elements that are core to plot elements of my story, and I was willing to let my anxiety to the door and see what was up.

Disclaimer: I didn’t reread Mass Effect Revelation before plunging into this read, and entirely skipped Ascension. So anything in relation to character introduction and continuity will have to be skipped.

Back-cover pitch (the official, unbiased, long one)

Humanity has reached the stars, joining the vast galactic community of alien species. But beyond the fringes of explored space lurk the Reapers, a race of sentient starships bent on “harvesting” the galaxy’s organic species for their own dark purpose. The Illusive Man, leader of the pro-human black ops group Cerberus, is one of the few who know the truth about the Reapers. To ensure humanity’s survival, he launches a desperate plan to uncover the enemy’s strengths—and weaknesses—by studying someone implanted with modified Reaper technology. He knows the perfect subject for his horrific experiments: former Cerberus operative Paul Grayson, who wrested his daughter from the cabal’s control with the help of Ascension project director Kahlee Sanders. But when Kahlee learns that Grayson is missing, she turns to the only person she can trust: Alliance war hero Captain David Anderson. Together they set out to find the secret Cerberus facility where Grayson is being held. But they aren’t the only ones after him. And time is running out. As the experiments continue, the sinister Reaper technology twists Grayson’s mind. The insidious whispers grow ever stronger in his head, threatening to take over his very identity and unleash the Reapers on an unsuspecting galaxy. This novel is based on a Mature-rated video game.

Global opinion (TL;DR)

I came in hoping to be positively surprised and learn a thing or two about Reapers, about Cerberus and about Aria T’loak. I wasn’t, and I didn’t learn much. What I did learn was how cool ideas can get wasted by the very nature of game novelization, as the defects are not singular to this novel but quite widespread in this genre, and how annoyed I can get at an overuse of dialogue tags. The pacing is good and the narrative structure alright: everything else poked me in the wrong spots and rubbed how the series have always handled violence on my face with cruder examples. If I was on Good Reads, I’d probably give it something like 2 stars, for the pacing, some of the ideas, and my general sympathy for the IP novel struggle.

The indepth review continue past this point, just know there will be spoilers for the series, the Omega DLC which is often relevant, and the book itself!

What I enjoyed

Drew Karpyshyn is competent in narrative structure, and that does a lot for the pacing. Things rarely drag, and we get from one event to the next seamlessly. I’m not surprised this is one of the book’s qualities, as it comes from the craft of a game writer: pacing and efficiency are mandatory skills in this field. I would have preferred a clearer breaking point perhaps, but otherwise it’s a nice little ride that doesn’t ask a lot of effort from you (I was never tempted to DNF the book because it was so easy to read).

This book is packed with intringuing ideas -from venturing in the mind of the Illusive Man to assist, from the point of view of the victim, to Grayson’s biological transformation and assimilation into the Reaper hivemind, we get plenty to be excited for. I was personally intrigued about Liselle, Aria T’loak’s secret daughter, and eager to get a glimpse at the mind of the Queen Herself -also about how her collaboration with Cerberus came to be. Too bad none of these ideas go anywhere nor are being dealt with in an interesting way!!! But the concepts themselves were very good, so props for setting up interesting premices.

Pain is generally well described. It gets the job done.

I liked Sanak, the batarian that works as a second to Aria. He’s not very well characterized and everyone thinks he’s dumb (rise up for our national himbo), even though he reads almost smarter than her on multiple occasions, but I was happy whenever he was on the page, so yay for Sanak. But it might just be me having a bias for batarians.

Cool to have Kai Leng as a point of view character. I wasn’t enthralled by what was done with it, as he remains incredibly basic and as basically hateable and ungrounded than in Mass Effect 3 (I think he’s very underwhelming as a villain and he should have been built up in Mass Effect 2 to be effective). But there were some neat moments, such as the description of the Afterlife by Grayson who considers it as tugging at his base instincts, compared to Leng’s description of it where everything is deemed disgusting. The execution is not the best, but the concept was fun.

Pre-Reaperification Paul Grayson wasn’t the worst point of view to follow. I wasn’t super involved in his journey and didn’t care when he died one way or the other, but I empathized with his problems and hoped he would find a way out of the cycle of violence. The setup of his character arc was interesting, it’s just sad that any resolution -even negative- was dropped to focus on Reapers and his relationship with Kahlee Sanders, as I think the latter was the least interesting part.

The cover is cool and intringuing. Very soapy. It’s my favorite out of all the official novels, as it owns the cheesier aspect of the series, has nice contrasts and immediately asks questions. Very 90s/2000s. It’s great.

You may notice every thing I enjoyed was coated in complaints, because it’s a reflection of my frustration at this book for setting up interesting ideas and then completely missing the mark in their execution. So without further due, let’s talk about what I think the book didn’t do right.

1. Dumb complaints that don’t matter much

After reading the entire book, I am still a bit confused at to why Tim (the Illusive Man’s acronym is TIM in fandom, but I find immense joy in reffering to him as just Tim) wants his experimentation to be carried out on Grayson specifically, especially when getting to him is harder than pretty much anyone else (also wouldn’t pushing the very first experiments on alien captives make more sense given it’s Cerberus we’re talking about?). It seem to be done out of petty revenge, which is fine, but it still feels like quite the overlook to mess with a competent fighter, enhance him, and then expect things to stay under control (which Tim kind of doesn’t expect to, and that’s even weirder -why waste your components on something you plan to terminate almost immediately). At the same time, the pettiness is the only characterization we get out of Tim so good I guess? But if so, I wished it would have been accentuated to seem even more deliberate (and not have Tim regret to see it in himself, which flattens him and doesn’t inform the way he views the world and himself -but we’ll get to that).

I really disliked the way space travel is characterized. And that might be entirely just me, and perhaps it doesn’t contradict the rest of the lore, but space travel is so fast. People pop up left and right in a matter of hours. At some point we even get a mention of someone being able to jump 3 different Mass Relays and then arrive somewhere in 4 hours. I thought you first had to discharge your ship around a stellar object before being able to engage in the next jump (and that imply finding said object, which would have to take more than an hour). It’s not that big of a deal, but it completely crammed this giant world to a single boulevard for me and my hard-science-loving tastes. Not a big deal, but not a fan at all of this choice.

You wouldn’t believe how often people find themselves in a fight naked or in their underwear. It happens at least 3 times (and everyone naked survives -except one, we’ll get to her later).

Why did I need to know about this fifteen year’s old boner for his older teacher. Surely there were other ways to have his crush come across without this detail, or then have it be an actual point of tension in their relationship and not just a “teehee” moment. Weird choice imo.

I’m not a fan of the Talons. I don’t find them interesting or compelling. There is nothing about them that informs us on the world they live in. The fact they’re turian-ruled don’t tell us anything about turian culture that, say, the Blue Suns don’t tell us already. It’s a generic gang that is powerful because it is. I think they’re very boring, in this book and in the Omega DLC alike (a liiittle less in the DLC because of Nyreen, barely). Not a real criticism, I just don’t care for them at all.

I might just be very ace, but I didn’t find Anderson and Kahlee Sanders to have much chemistry. Same for Kahlee and Grayson (yes we do have some sort of love-triangle-but-not-really, but it’s not very important and it didn’t bother me much). Their relationships were all underwhelming to me, and I’ll explain why in part 4.

The red sand highs are barely described, and very safely -probably not from a place of intimate knowledge with drugs nor from intense research. Addiction is a delicate topic, and I feel like it could have been dealt with better, or not be included at all.

There are more of these, but I don’t want to turn this into a list of minor complaints for things that are more a matter of taste than craft quality or thematic relevance. So let’s move on.

2. Who cares about aliens in a Mass Effect novel

Now we’re getting into actual problems, and this one is kind of endemic to the Mass Effect novels (I thought the same when I read Revelation 9 years ago, though maybe less so as Saren in a PoV character -but I might have forgotten so there’s that). The aliens are described and characterized in the most uncurious, uninspired manner. Krogans are intimidating brutes. Turians are rigid. Asaris are sexy. Elcors are boring. Batarians are thugs (there is something to be said with how Aria’s second in command is literally the same batarian respawned with a different name in Mass Effect 2, this book, then the Omega DLC). Salarians are weak nerds. (if you allow me this little parenthesis because of course I have to complain about salarian characterization: the only salarian that speaks in the book talks in a cheap ripoff of Mordin’s speech pattern, which sucks because it’s specific to Mordin and not salarians as a whole, and is there to be afraid of a threat as a joke. This is SUCH a trope in the original trilogy -especially past Mass Effect 1 when they kind of give up on salarians except for a few chosen ones-, that salarians’ fear is not to be taken seriously and the only salarians who are to be considered don’t express fear at all -see Mordin and Kirrahe. It happens at least once per game, often more. This is one of the reasons why the genophage subplot is allowed to be so morally simple in ME3 and remove salarians from the equation. I get why they did that, but it’s still somewhat of a copeout. On this front, I have to give props to Andromeda for actually engaging with violence on salarians in a serious manner. It’s a refreshing change) I didn’t learn a single thing about any of these species, how they work, what they care about in the course of these 79750 words. I also didn’t learn much about their relationships to other species, including humans. I’ll mention xenophobia in more details later, but this entire aspect of the story takes a huge hit because of this lack of investment of who these species are.

I’ve always find Mass Effect, despite its sprawling universe full of vivid ideas and unique perspectives, to be strangely enamoured with humans, and it has never been so apparent than here. Only humans get to have layers, deserving of empathy and actual engagement. Only their pain is real and important. Only their death deserve mourning (we’ll come back to that). I’d speculate this comes from the same place that was terrified to have Liara as a love interest in ME1 in case she alienated the audience, and then later was surprised when half the fanbase was more interested in banging the dinosaur-bird than their fellow humans: Mass Effect often seem afraid of losing us and breaking our capacity for self-projection. It’s a very weird concern, in my opinion, that reveals the most immature, uncertain and soapy parts of the franchise. Here it’s punched to eleven, and I find it disappointing. It also have a surprising effect on the narrative: again, we’ll come back to that.

3. The squandered potential of Liselle and Aria

Okay. This one hurts. Let’s talk about Liselle: she’s introduced in the story as a teammate to Grayson, who at the time works as a merc for Aria T’loak on Omega, and also sleeps with him on the regular. She likes hitting the Afterlife’s dancefloor: she’s very admired there, as she’s described as extremely attractive. One night after receiving a call from Grayson, she rejoins him in his apartment. They have sex, then Kai Leng and other Cerberus agents barge in to capture Grayson -a fight break out (the first in a long tradition of naked/underwear fights), and both of them are stunned with tranquilizers. Grayson is to be taken to the Illusive Man. Kai Leng decides to slit Liselle’s throat as she lays unconscious to cover their tracks. When Aria T’loak and her team find her naked on a bed, throat gaping and covered in blood, Liselle is revealed, through her internal monologue, to be Aria’s secret daughter -that she kept secret for both of their safety. So Liselle is a sexpot who dies immediately in a very brutal and disempowered manner. This is a sad way to handle Aria T’loak’s daughter I think, but I assume it was done to give a strong motivation to the mother, who thinks Grayson did it. And also, it’s a cool setup to explore her psyche: how does she feel about business catching up with her in such a personal manner, how does she feel about the fact she couldn’t protect her own offspring despite all her power, what’s her relationship with loss and death, how does she slip when under high emotional stress, how does she deal with such a vulnerable position of having to cope without being able to show any sign of weakness... But the book does nothing with that. The most interesting we get is her complete absence of outward reaction when she sees her daughter as the centerpiece of a crime scene. Otherwise we have mentions that she’s not used to lose relatives, vague discomfort when someone mentions Liselle might have been raped, and vague discomfort at her body in display for everyone to gawk at. It’s not exactly revelatory behavior, and the missed potential is borderline criminal. It also doesn’t even justify itself as a strong motivation, as Aria vaguely tries to find Grayson again and then gives up until we give her intel on a silver platter. Then it almost feels as if she forgot her motivation for killing Grayson, and is as motivated by money than she is by her daughter’s murder (and that could be interesting too, but it’s not done in a deliberate way and therefore it seems more like a lack of characterization than anything else).

Now, to Aria. Because this book made me realize something I strongly dislike: the framing might constantly posture her as intelligent, but Aria T’loak is... kind of dumb, actually? In this book alone she’s misled, misinformed or tricked three different times. We’re constantly ensured she’s an amazing people reader but never once do we see this ability work in her favor -everyone fools her all the time. She doesn’t learn from her mistakes and jump from Cerberus trap to Cerberus trap, and her loosing Omega to them later is laughably stupid after the bullshit Tim put her through in this book alone. I’m not joking when I say the book has to pull out an entire paragraph on how it’s easier to lie to smart people to justify her complete dumbassery during her first negotiation with Tim. She doesn’t seem to know anything about how people work that could justify her power. She’s not politically savvy. She’s not good at manipulation. She’s just already established and very, very good at kicking ass. And I wouldn’t mind if Aria was just a brutish thug who maintains her power through violence and nothing else, that could also be interesting to have an asari act that way. But the narrative will not bow to the reality they have created for her, and keep pretending her flaw is in extreme pride only. This makes me think of the treatment of Sansa Stark in the latest seasons of Game of Thrones -the story and everyone in it is persuaded she’s a political mastermind, and in the exact same way I would adore for it to be true, but it’s just... not. It’s even worse for Aria, because Sansa does have victories by virtue of everyone being magically dumber than her whenever convenient. Aria just fails, again and again, and nobody seem to ever acknowledge it. Sadly her writing here completely justifies her writing in the Omega DLC and the comics, which I completely loathe; but turns out Aria isn’t smart or savvy, not even in posture or as a façade. She’s just violent, entitled, easily fooled, and throws public tantrums when things don’t go her way. And again, I guess that would be fine if only the narrative would recognize what she is. Me, I will gently ignore most of this (in her presentation at least, because I think it’s interesting to have something pitiful when you dig a little) and try to write her with a bit more elevation. But this was a very disappointing realization to have.

4. The squandered potential of Grayson and the Reapers

The waste of a subplot with Aria and Liselle might have hurt me more in a personal way, but what went down between Grayson and the Reapers hurts the entire series in a startling manner. And it’s so infuriating because the potential was there. Every setpiece was available to create something truly unique and disturbing by simply following the series’ own established lore. But this is not what happens. See, when The Illusive Man, our dearest Tim, captures Grayson for a betrayal that happened last book (something about his biotic autistic daughter -what’s the deal with autistic biotics being traumatized by Cerberus btw), he decides to use him as the key part of an experiment to understand how Reapers operate. So he forcefully implants the guy with Reaper technology (what they do exactly is unclear) to study his change into a husk and be prepared when Reapers come for humanity -it’s also compared to what happened with Saren when he “agreed” to be augmented by Sovereign. From there on, Grayson slowly turns into a husk. Doesn’t it sound fascinating, to be stuck in the mind of someone losing themselves to unknowable monsters? If you agree with me then I’m sorry because the execution is certainly... not that. The way the author chooses to describe the event is to use the trope of mind control used in media like Get Out: Grayson taking the backseat of his own mind and body. And I haaaaate it. I hate it so much. I don’t hate the trope itself (it can be interesting in other media, like Get Out!), but I loathe that it’s used here in a way that totally contradicts both the lore and basic biology. Grayson doesn’t find himself manipulated. He doesn’t find himself justifying increasingly jarring actions the way Saren has. He just... loses control of himself, disagreeing with what’s being done with him but not able to change much about it. He also can fight back and regain control sometimes -but his thoughts are almost untainted by Reaper influence. The technology is supposed to literally replace and reorganize the cells of his body; is this implying that body and mind are separated, that there maybe exists a soul that transcends indoctrination? I don’t know but I hate it. This also implies that every victim of the Reaper is secretely aware of what they’re doing and pained and disagreeing with their own actions. And I’m sorry but if it’s true, I think this sucks ass and removes one of the creepiest ideas of the Mass Effect universe -that identity can and will be lost, and that Reapers do not care about devouring individuality and reshaping it to the whims of their inexorable march. Keeping a clear stream of consciousness in the victim’s body makes it feel like a curse and not like a disease. None of the victims are truly gone that way, and it removes so much of the tragic powerlessness of organics in their fight against the machines. Imagine if Saren watched himself be a meanie and being like “nooo” from within until he had a chance to kill himself in a near-victorious battle, compared to him being completely persuaded he’s acting for the good of organic life until, for a split second, he comes to realize he doesn’t make any sense and is loosing his mind like someone with dementia would, and needs to grasp to this instant to make the last possible thing he could do to save others and his own mind from domination. I feel so little things for Saren in the former case, and so much for the latter. But it might just be me: I’m deeply touched by the exploration of how environment and things like medication can change someone’s behavior, it’s such a painfully human subject while forceful mind control is... just kind of cheap.

SPEAKING OF THE REAPERS. Did you know “The Reapers” as an entity is an actual character in this book? Because it is. And “The Reapers” is not a good character. During the introduction of Grayson and explaining his troubles, we get presented with the mean little voice in his head. It’s his thoughts in italics, nothing crazy, in fact it’s a little bit of a copeout from actually implementing his insecurities into the prose. But I gave the author the benefit of the doubt, as I knew Grayson would be indoctrinated later, and I fully expected the little voice to slowly start twisting into what the Reapers suggested to him. This doesn’t happen, or at least not in that slowburn sort of way. Instead the little voice is dropped almost immediately, and the Reapers are described, as a presence. And as the infection progresses, what Grayson do become what the Reapers do. The Reapers have emotions, it turns out. They’re disgusted at organic discharges. They’re pleased when Grayson accomplish what they want, and it’s told as such. They foment little plans to get their puppet to point A to point B, and we are privy to their calculations. And I’m sorry but the best way to ruin your lovecraftian concept is to try and explain its motivations and how it thinks. Because by definition the unknown is scarier, smarter, and colder than whatever a human author could come up with. I couldn’t take the Reapers’ dumb infiltration plans seriously, and now I think they are dumb all the time, and I didn’t want to!! The only cases in which the Reapers influence Grayson, we are told in very explicit details how so. For example, they won’t let Grayson commit suicide by flooding his brain with hope and determination when he tries, or they will change the words he types when he tries to send a message to Kahlee Sanders. And we are told exactly what they do every time. There was a glorious occasion to flex as a writer by diving deep into an unreliable narrator and write incredibly creepy prose, but I guess we could have been confused, and apparently that’s not allowed. And all of this is handled that poorly becauuuuuse...

5. Subtext is dead and Drew killed it

Now we need to talk about the prose. The style of the author is... let’s be generous and call it functional. It’s about clarity. The writing is so involved in its quest for clarity that it basically ruins the book, and most of the previous issues are direct consequences of the prose and adjacent decisions.The direct prose issues are puzzling, as they are known as rookie technical flaws and not something I would expect from the series’ Lead Writer for Mass Effect 1 and 2, but in this book we find problems such as:

The reliance on adverbs. Example: "Breathing heavily from the exertion, he stood up slowly”. I have nothing about a well-placed adverb that gives a verb a revelatory twist, but these could be replaced by stronger verbs, or cut altogether.

Filtering. Example: “Anderson knew that the fact they were getting no response was a bad sign”. This example is particularly egregious, but characters know things, feel things, realize things (boy do they realize things)... And this pulls us away from their internal world instead of making us live what they live, expliciting what should be implicit. For example, consider the alternative: “They were getting no reponse, which was a bad sign in Anderson’s experience.” We don’t really need the “in Anderson’s experience” either, but that already brings us significantly closer to his world, his lived experience as a soldier.

The goddamn dialogue tags. This one is the worst offender of the bunch. Nobody is allowed to talk without a dialogue tag in this book, and wow do people imply, admit, inform, remark and every other verb under the sun. Consider this example, which made me lose my mind a little: “What are you talking about? Kahlee wanted to know.” I couldn’t find it again, but I’m fairly certain I read a “What is it?” Anderson wanted to know. as well. Not only is it very distracting, it’s also yet another way to remove reader interpretation from the equation (also sometimes there will be a paragraph break inside a monologue -not even a long one-, and that doesn’t seem to be justified by anything? It’s not as big of a problem than the aversion to subtext, but it still confused me more than once)

Another writing choice that hurts the book in disproportionate ways is the reliance on point of view switches. In Retribution, we get the point of view of: Tim, Paul Grayson, Kai Leng, Kahlee Sanders, David Anderson, Aria T’loak, and Nick (a biotic teenager, the one with the boner). Maybe Sanak had a very small section too, but I couldn’t find it again so don’t take my word for it. That’s too many point of views for a plot-heavy 80k book in my opinion, but even besides that: the point of view switch several times in one single chapter. This is done in the most harmful way possible for tension: characters involved in the same scene take turns on the page explaining their perspective about the events, in a way that leaves the reader entirely aware of every stake to every character and every information that would be relevant in a scene. Take for example the first negotiation between Aria and Tim. The second Aria needs to ponder what her best move could possibly be, we get thrown back into Tim’s perspective explaining the exact ways in which he’s trying to deceive her -removing our agency to be either convinced or fooled alongside her. This results in a book that goes out of his way to keep us from engaging with its ideas and do any mental work on our own. Everything is laid out, bare and as overexplained as humanly possible. The format is also very repetitive: characters talk or do an action, and then we spend a paragraph explaining the exact mental reasoning for why they did what they did. There is nothing to interpret. No subtext at all whatsoever; and this contributes in casting a harsh light on the Mass Effect universe, cheapening it and overtly expliciting some of its worst ideas instead of leaving them politely blurred and for us to dress up in our minds. There is only one theme that remains subtextual in my opinion. And it’s not a pretty one.

6. Violence

So here’s the thing when you adapt a third person shooter into a novel: you created a violent world and now you will have to deal with death en-masse too (get it get it I’m so sorry). But while in videogames you can get away with thoughtless murder because it’s a gameplay mechanic and you’re not expected to philosophize on every splatter of blood, novels are all about internalization. Violent murder is by definition more uncomfortable in books, because we’re out of gamer conventions and now every death is actual when in games we just spawned more guys because we wanted that level to be a bit harder and on a subconscious level we know this and it makes it somewhat okay. I felt, in this book, a strange disconnect between the horrendous violence and the fact we’re expected to care about it like we would in a game: not much, or as a spectacle. Like in a game, we are expected to root for the safety of named characters the story indicated us we should be invested in. And because we’re in a book, this doesn’t feel like the objective truth of the universe spelled at us through user interface and quest logs, but the subjective worldview of the characters we’re following. And that makes them.... somewhat disturbing to follow.

I haven’t touched on Anderson and Kahlee Sanders much yet, but now I guess I have too, as they are the worst offenders of what is mentioned above. Kahlee cares about Grayson. She only cares about Grayson -and her students like the forementioned Nick, but mostly Grayson. Grayson is out there murdering people like it’s nobody’s business, but still, keeping Grayson alive is more important that people dying like flies around him. This is vaguely touched on, but not with the gravitas that I think was warranted. Also, Anderson goes with it. Because he cares about Kahlee. Anderson organizes a major political scandal between humans and turians because of Kahlee, because of Grayson. He convinces turians to risk a lot to bring Cerberus down, and I guess that could be understandable, but it’s mostly manipulation for the sake of Grayson’s survival: and a lot of turians die as a result. But not only turians: I was not comfortable with how casually the course of action to deal a huge blow to Cerberus and try to bring the organization down was to launch assault on stations and cover-ups for their organization. Not mass arrests: military assault. They came to arrest high operatives, maybe, but the grunts were okay to slaughter. This universe has a problem with systemic violence by the supposedly good guys in charge -and it’s always held up as the righteous and efficient way compared to these UGH boring politicians and these treaties and peace and such (amirite Anderson). And as the cadavers pile up, it starts to make our loveable protagonists... kind of self-centered assholes. Also: I think we might want to touch on who these cadavers tend to be, and get to my biggest point of discomfort with this novel.

Xenophobia is hard to write well, and I super sympathize with the attempts made and their inherent difficulty. This novel tries to evoke this theme in multiple ways: by virtue of having Cerberus’ heart and blade as point of view characters, we get a window into Tim and Kai Leng’s bigotry against aliens, and how this belief informs their actions. I wasn’t ever sold in their bigotry as it was shown to us. Tim evokes his scorn for whatever aliens do and how it’s inferior to humanity’s resilience -but it’s surface-level, not informed by deep and specific entranched beliefs on aliens motives and bodies, and how they are a threat on humanity according to them. The history of Mass Effect is rich with conflict and baggage between species, yet every expression of hatred is relegated to a vague “eww aliens” that doesn’t feed off systemically enforced beliefs but personal feelings of mistrust and disgust. I’ll take this example of Kai Leng, and his supposedly revulsion at the Afterlife as a peak example of alien decadence: he sees an asari in skimpy clothing, and deems her “whorish”. And this feels... off. Not because I don’t think Kai Leng would consider asaris whorish, but because this is supposed to represent Cerberus’ core beliefs: yet both him and Tim go on and on about how their goal is to uplift humanity, how no human is an enemy. But if that’s the case, then what makes Kai Leng call an Afterlife asari whorish and mean it in a way that’s meaningfully different from how he would consider a human sex worker in similar dispositions? Not that I don’t buy that Cerberus would have a very specific idea of what humans need to be to be considered worth preserving as good little ur-fascists, but this internal bias is never expressed in any way, and it makes the whole act feel hollow. Cerberus is not the only offender, though. Every time an alien expresses bias against humans in a way we’re meant to recognize as xenophobic, it reads the same way: as personal dislike and suspicion. As bullying. Which is such a small part of what bigotry encompasses. It’s so unspecific and divorced from their common history that it just never truly works in my opinion. You know what I thought worked, though? The golden trio of non-Cerberus human characters, and their attitude towards aliens. Grayson’s slight fetishism and suspicion of his attraction to Liselle, how bestial (in a cool, sexy way) he perceives the Afterlife to be. The way Anderson and Kahlee use turians for their own ends and do not spare a single thought towards those who died directly trying to protect them or Grayson immediately after the fact (they are more interested in Kahlee’s broken fingers and in kissing each other). How they feel disgust watching turians looting Cerberus soldiers, not because it’s disrespectful in general and the deaths are a inherent tragedy but because they are turians and the dead are humans. But it's not even really on them: the narration itself is engrossed by the suffering of humans, but aliens are relegated to setpieces in gore spectacles. Not even Grayson truly cares about the aliens the Reapers make him kill. Nobody does. Not even the aliens among each other: see, once again, Aria and Liselle, or Aria and Sanak. Nobody cares. At the very end of the story, Anderson comes to Kahlee and asks if she gives him permission to have Grayson’s body studied, the same way Cerberus planned to. It’s source of discomfort, but Kahlee gives in as it’s important, and probably what Grayson would have wanted, maybe? So yeah. In the end the only subtextual theme to find here (probably as an accident) is how the Alliance’s good guys are not that different from Cerberus it turns out. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.

7. Lore-approved books, or the art of shrinking an expanding universe

I’d like to open the conversation on a bigger topic: the very practice of game novelization, or IP-books. Because as much as I think Drew Karpyshyn’s final draft should not have ended up reading that amateur given the credits to his name, I really want to acknowledge the realities of this industry, and why the whole endeavor was perhaps doomed from the start regardless of Karpyshyn’s talent or wishes as an author.

The most jarring thing about this reading experience is as follows: I spent almost 80k words exploring this universe with new characters and side characters, all of them supposedly cool and interesting, and I learned nothing. I learned nothing new about the world, nothing new about the characters. Now that it’s over, I’m left wondering how I could chew on so much and gain so little. Maybe it’s just me, but more likely it’s by design. Not on poor Drew. Now that I did IP work myself, I have developed an acute sympathy for anyone who has to deal with the maddening contradictions of this type of business. Let me explain.

IP-adjacent media (in the West at least) sure has for goal to expand the universe: but expand as in bloat, not as in deepen. The target for this book is nerds like me, who liked the games and want more of this thing we liked. But then we’re confronted by two major competitors: the actual original media (in ME’s case, the games) whose this product is a marketing tool for, and fandom. IP books are not allowed to compete with the main media: the good ideas are for the main media, and any meaningful development has to be made in the main media (see: what happened with Kai Leng, or how everyone including me complains about the worldbuilding to the Disney Star Swars trilogy being hidden in the novelization). And when it comes to authorship (as in: taking an actual risk with the media and give it a personal spin), then we risk introducing ideas that complicate the main media even though a ridiculously small percent of the public will be attached to it, or ideas that fans despise. Of course we can’t have the latter. And once the fandom is huge enough, digging into anything the fans have strong headcanons for already risks creating a lot of emotions once some of these are made canon and some are disregarded. As much as I joke about how in Mass Effect you can learn about any gun in excrutiating details but we still don’t know if asaris have a concept for marriage... would we really want to know how/if asaris marry, or aren’t we glad we get to be creative and put our own spin on things? The dance between fandom and canon is a delicate one that can and will go wrong. And IP books are generally not worth the drama for the stakeholders.

Add this to insane deadlines, numerous parties all involved in some way and the usual struggles of book writing, and we get a situation where creating anything of value is pretty much a herculean task.

But then I ask... why do IP books *have* to be considered canon? I know this is part of the appeal, and that removing the “licenced” part only leaves us with published fanfiction, but... yeah. Yeah. I think it could be a fascinating model. Can you imagine having your IP and hiring X amount of distinctive authors to give it their own spin, not as definitive additions to the world but as creative endeavours and authorial deepdives? It would allow for these novels to be comparative and companion to the main media instead of being weird appendages that can never compare, and the structure would allow for these stories to be polished and edited to a higher level than most fanfictions. Of course I’m biased because I have a deep belief in the power of fanfiction as commentary and conversational piece. But I would really love to see companies’ approach to creative risk and canon to change. We might get Disney stuff until we die now, so the least we can ask for is for this content to be a little weird, personal and human.

That’s it. That’s the whole review. Thank you for reading, it was very long and weirdly passionate, have a nice dayyyyy.

#Mass Effect #mass effect retribution #me critical #writing #mass effect novels #anderson #kahlee sanders #Aria T'loak #paul grayson #liselle #salarians #IP conversation #omega #mass effect lore #reapers #book review

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poisonheadcrabsalesman · 4 years ago

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More therapy thoughts part 1/?

Behavior Theory Frameworks/Conditioning and What the fuck does Master Chief talk about in therapy?

Ramblings below - like a lot, like I spent too much time writing this and you should not read this

Behavioral Theory could work well as a framework with rehabilitating Spartan IIs if the case worker focused on Operant Conditioning Theory and Cognitive Social Learning Theory, which I talked about in this ask because I think I’m funny and this blog is an archive of me applying human behavior theories to video games.

Spartans have always been taught the mission comes first! Always! The 2s are indoctrinated from age 6-14 and then have that reinforced the rest of their lives. From the beginning they are taught to push themselves to the limits, earn their food by winning, form bonds with teammates but be ready to sacrifice them for the mission. The whole lives wasted vs spent conversation between John and Mendez after the augmentation surgery!

What the UNSC/ONI wants comes before their lives, the lives of other soldiers, civilians, AI etc. This constant conditioning of expectations and rewards has created the norms cemented in their minds. This becomes standard operating procedure.

Spartans are also an entirely separated social group, other people have made really great posts on how they are Othered and have their own way of communicating with body language. ODSTs hate Spartans, marines see them as cyborgs or saviors, and while they’re allies, Spartans are not seen or treated as human, by literally everyone. They are a means to an end, with the original goal being to maintain the UNSC’s position of power and crush the insurrectionists in the outer colonies, but uh oh Aliens!

Maybe the 2s aren’t as expendable as the 3s but the mindset and reinforcement of “mission first, people second” being repeated their entire lives is going to stick. So is the constant mistreatment and abuse from their fellow soldiers and handlers.

Addressing the cognitive distortions that come from their upbringing while also balancing the fact that Spartans are so fundamentally different from the way they developed to survive would be so much work, especially considering how much information on them is given to their therapist. The main distortion I would apply is minimization, making large problems small and not properly dealing with them, and specifically for John, personification, accepting blame for negative events without sufficient evidence.

Like these are grown ass super soldiers who can kill you in less than a second and calculate the amount of gravity in a room on the fly but then also can flounder when trying to comfort civilians or make small talk because their experiences and values are so alien to adults who had more developmentally “normal” lives.

Literally applying therapy to Spartans would be like, what was done to you was wrong, the ends do not justify the means, you were children and the adults in your life failed to protect you. You are a human person who is fallible and did the best you could with what you had. And the Spartan would say, “sounds fake but okay, can I pass my psych eval and go back to war now please?”

Jumping back to Behavior Theory

Different approaches to therapy under the Behavior Theory umbrella help modify negative behaviors with treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical behavior therapy that teach individuals adaptive coping like emotional regulation, distress tolerance, cognitive distortions, and interpersonal communication. And that’s just one framework under the umbrella of human behavior theories.

Social work therapy is different from psych as it approaches individuals with heavily researched, evidence-based theories and frameworks in a holistic viewing of person-in-environment, instead of a strong focus on internal psychology.

Social work looks at all the interacting systems, environment, history, and internal and external factors affecting an individual. One of the most useful frameworks is the Biopsychosocial-Spiritual Frameworks (BPSS) when helping a client. It helps with identifying all the intersecting factors, both risk and protective, that shapes a client’s lived experiences. The most important thing to remember is that the individual is an expert in their own life, they know their experiences best.

The hardest part is applying this to Spartans because they Are So Fucked, their lived experiences, their environments and systems and institutions interacting with them, and the amount of their personal information that is probably so classified.

BPSS is a tool to help social workers assess individuals and their situations by collecting info that is related to the presenting issues and current and past circumstances. Info like medical history, hospitalizations, substance abuse, mental illness, personal relationships, family history and background, culture and norms, education, legal history, spirituality and participation etc. is all under this framework.

For Spartan 2s most of this info is lost or classified and helping someone who has repressed every negative emotion they've had for the sake of the mission would be so much to unpack but that’s also why you’re reading the mad ramblings over an over caffeinated nerd on the internet.

Life Course Theory which looks at developmental milestones and the individual’s experiences versus the socially expected markers, how do you apply that to children who were taken and have lived such different lives?

While early adolescence is when “normal” development of thoughts of self and identity take place alongside the physical changes of puberty, Spartans were being turned into emotionless calculating weapons. Sorry John, no forming a sense of identity and peer bonds for you, go kill that Watts guy who betrayed us and joined the insurrectionists.

And now that I’ve gone this insane and opened 2 whole textbooks up, let’s get to Master Chief thoughts. If you’ve read this far thank you, I swear I’m normal, 2020 has just been a weird year.

Why the fuck did I think I could write a therapy fic on a guy with 20 minutes of actual dialogue across almost 2 decades of games?

I make fun of him and call him a himbo, but he’s smart, he knows he’s being used and there is resentment there that’s been building for years.

There’s also decades of trauma and combat experience, physical, and emotional abuse, the lack of a support network, lack of an identity, the biological factors and aftermath of the augmentations and injuries he’s received, a whole lot of grief and self-inflicted guilt.

The loss of a third of his peer group with the augmentation surgery, Sam’s death, the loss of Reach (the only place he’s considered home), Keyes, the Pillar of Autumn crew, Miranda Keyes, Johnson, Cortana. He cares about the marines who fight with him!!!

He just stands there and takes it and rarely snaps, and even then it’s just small cracks on the surface with fissures running deep. The few details I will pull from Halo 5 are Blue Team’s reactions to John pushing himself so hard from the beginning of the game, and the literal crack in his armor from the fight with Locke. Like dude.

John’s a leader and will get the mission done but he tugs on the leash. He’s earned enough of a reputation and uses it to get his way.

Halo 2’s “Permission to leave the station” with Mr. “I’m going to hand deliver a bomb to the fusion reactor of a covenant supercarrier and hope my friends catch me”.

Halo 4 is when we see him say no to a superior officer and then 5 is him going AWOL. Palmer literally points out that no one is going to stop him.

Halo 5 kills me for many reasons but John bringing up Halsey and what she did to him and also pointing out that he knows Halo 5 Cortana is trying to manipulate him with psychological tactics hurts.

He knows what’s been done to him!

I cannot remember which book it was but John isn’t used to working alone. He literally takes fire because he was expecting someone to have his back!

He’s lost without Cortana! She was in his brain! Y’all! I played Halo Combat Evolved on the original xbox when I was like 8 and I knew these two were meant to be together. From the moment they met they had great chemistry and relied on each other! Cortana literally goes after people who have it out for John! John wants her approval and shows off for her in one of the books.

I’ve already written too much here but like all of the games have John showing off for Cortana, making dry jokes, jumping out of things he shouldn’t.

The whole point of this rambling is to try and get my thoughts about how to approach John’s character under control.

And that’s the thing. He’s lost control. He’s lost people, he’s losing his position and being phased out as an aging spartan, a relic. John’s used to following orders and making some decisions on the battlefield but it was always short term.

He has no identity beyond being a weapon. Complete the mission, clear the LZ, get put in cryo. Rinse, repeat.

The timeline of the games are what I'm most familiar with but with the comics and books too it’s one long run from Halo 2 to Halo 4. Cairo station to the Dreadnought to the crash landing to Forward Unto Dawn to Requiem to “The Didact is Dead but not really but we’ll deal with him off-screen”.

I know Hood apparently gave John R&R orders before Halo 5 that he ignored and kept running himself into the ground. This is a man who has to keep moving and keep being useful.

I imagine him giving in and seeking help as a last resort to fix any problems he has with performing his duties rather than helping himself be healthier.

Any professional he sees is going to have to approach him like they’re approaching a self sacrificing feral cat, with lunch meat and quiet. This man needs to have his support network closer, set up long term goals, and do some serious, and most likely incredibly painful, self reflection on where he’s come from and where he wants to go. Get him out of that tin can and into therapy. I don’t have a nice neat ending because this was a ramble and also therapy is not neat and tidy. Thanks for reading my words about mr halo

#this is not coherent but it needs out of my brain #John - has different characterizations based on what media he's in #Me - my writing must be in character or I Will Die #also me - we don't talk about halo 5 but i will loot its corpse for bits of lore I like #im sorry for being like this #my writing #Therapy time #John 117 #this is not a halo blog #haha this was peer reviewed nonsense #thanks yall for enabling me #i have even more ideas for the infinity sitcom folder now

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firstofficerwiggles · 3 years ago

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Do you have a favourite clone? A hobby? Or is there a Star Wars job you’d like to have? Or is there a headcanon you wish existed? Or a topic you’d want to see more people write about? Definitely not asking because of your birthday?

Ooh, these are all great questions! I went ahead and answered them all because, why not? Especially if it might have something to do with my birthday 🥰 Thanks for the great ask!

Let's see my favorite clones are Rex and Wrecker. I love Rex for his great leadership, his dedication and responsibility, and just his general good guy-ness. Wrecker is a sweet himbo and I just want to cuddle and kiss him.

One of my favorite hobbies is baking. I'm trying to eat healthier so I've been learning to make sugar-free baked goods and it's finally working out 😊

A Star Wars job I want is similar to my real job, I'd like to be a linguist working with alien languages and documenting them. I'm particularly interested in Mando'a.

The headcanon I would like to see in Star Wars is the Jedi realizing that it's possible to have healthy, loving relationships that aren't "bad attachments". I just think so many of the major issues could have been solved with a healthy relationship and not making the idea of love and commitment forbidden. Plus I love romance and love so I always want to see more of it. ❤

I honestly don't know if there's a topic I'd like to see more people write about. Honestly I'm so impressed with what people come up with that I really enjoy seeing all kinds of tropes and ideas.

Thanks again! This was so much fun 💕

#answered by wiggles #about me

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jadynrosetta · 4 years ago

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Okay so I may have caught COVID (not sure I’m going to the doctor tomorrow) so to occupy my time I got a prime account and decided to FINALLY watch Promare.

This movie has been on my Watch List since I first heard of it, which was before 2020 started. I just never got around to it, till I realized I was going to be stuck in my room to avoid people :(

So I watched it... twice. I probably will watch it again cause it’s the only movie I bought and I am not buying anything else. So here’s a little review and my thoughts about the movie. (Spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen it)

So the plot I thought was very interesting. For those who don’t know, the story starts with introducing “The Burnish”, a group of people who can create and control flames. These people seemed to come out of nowhere and it started a whole movement for Burnish rights and it caused a lot of problems for society. It ended, but The Burnish were labled as terrorists and do not have the same rights as humans. (Harsh)

Our main character is a part of a group called the Burning Rescue. Which is a group of fire fighters that deal with emergancy flames caused by The Burnish.

The team includes: Lucia, Varys, Remi, Aina, Ignis the leader, and Galo Thymos.

Now as I said, this himbo (Galo) is the main protagonist. He’s a rookie in the Burning Rescue, and has a “Firey Spirit”. He always goes off on some random speech and enjoys his job being a fire fighter and takes pride in saving people. He keeps this mindset and energy throughout the whole movie.

He gets sent up a building to save people on the roof and meets a terrorist group called the Mad Burnish. There aren’t many of them out now, but the top generals and the leader are still at large.

(This was the first and only image I saw from this movie and I was so confused I had to see it... months later)

After a tense fight with the generals (Both noting that Galo is an idiot) he defeats them and takes on their leader. The leader isn’t so easy to defeat, not backing down easily and even pinning Galo, but ultimetly he was taken down by the whole Burning Rescue squad. Their leader is actually a very small young man who goes by the name of Lio Fotia.

(I specifically wanted this scene so I looked hard for it)

Lio, who was mistaken for a child, is shown to be one of the strongest Burnish alive and takes pride in it. Wanting nothing but rights for his people and will never stop fighting for that.

He’s actually a good foil to Galo for many reasons and why I like them being the protagonists for the story. Galo is loud, over the top, and loves to show off his skills. While Lio is more on the quiet side, and doesn’t really show off, more on the reserved side.

But the two are very alike. Both feel the need to protect their people (Galo with humans and Lio with Burnish), but they don’t hate the other. Galo wants Burnish rights while Lio vows to never kill humans. They also share a god damn brain cell and 90% of the time neither of them have it.

So yeah, Galo gets a medal from his hero, Governer Kray, impressive prison break and all that. We cut to Galo and Aina having a moment, which Galo realizes the Burnish had escaped prison. He finds them in a cave and thus we learn more about the Burnish from their very leader, Lio, who remembers Galo, but Galo forgot him.

(Fire go pew)

Lio explains to Galo that the Burnish are people too, even showing how disgusted he is by Galo thinking otherwise (some very racist viewpoints). There Galo witnesses the death of a Burnish, turning her to ash. Lio explains to Galo that the Burnish can hear the flames, they speak to them, wanting to burn more. He also learns that his hero, Kray, was using the Burnish for human experiments, and calls Galo an idiot and to believe what he wants. Then the Burnish run away and leave Galo tied up...

Galo’s whole view changes on the Burnish and see that Kray is conducting human experiments on the Burnish, even though they’re people like them. The reason being that the Earth is gonna become a dead planet and everything is going to shit. So Kray is going to take 10,000 humans to another planet and use the Burnish as fuel. (Fucked up).

Galo goes against this and gets arrested. Meanwhile Lio and the other Burnish are found and taken as fuel, but Lio’s loyal generals get him to safety (much to Lio’s disagreement).

Lio goes into a full on rage and uses his full power to attack the city and Kray. Telling him to free the Burnish, or watch the city burn.

He takes the form of a dragon and damn near destroys the whole city. He almost succeeds too, getting to Kray. But of course Galo cuts in and fights Lio in an effort to calm him down. Aina decides to drop them off by the frozen lake to “cool off” and discover a lab under all the ice.

They meet Professor Deus, the man responsible for all the cooling gear. He wanted to help the Burnish, but was killed by Kray for disagreeing with him and his viewpoints. Deus, who is now a living computer, tells Galo, Lio, and Aina about the “Promare”, A group of aliens from another dimension who connected with a human, Burnish. However the Promare feel what their human host feels, even extreme pain. If Kray’s plan succeeds, then the Earth is gonna blow up due to all the pain the Promare feel.

It’s up to Galo and Lio to stop Kray from his evil plans (cause they happened to be there) by piloting the Deus X Machina. Later on the suit gets a name change, Lio de Galon.

A suit powered by a firefighter and a Burnish. Both Galo and Lio work together to stop Kray. Along with their allies they succeed in stopping the ship, but Kray was not finished. He reveals himself to also be a Burnish, and kidnaps Lio, saying he was going to be the new core to the ship. He then attacks Galo and sends him flying in flames. But Galo was saved last minute by Lio’s flames, and now he plans to save Lio, with the help of his team, and goes into the core to save his new friend.

He makes it, stopping the ship a second time, and sees Lio is dying, turning to ash right before him. Kray was ready to fight, but could not harm Galo due to Lio’s flame. Galo punches Kray and says he’s gonna save Lio, stop the magma, and even save him. Then we get the scene. The scene.

The “Kiss of Life” some like to call it, or just CPR. Either way, it’s a pretty romantic scene. Galo brings Lio to life and the two have a new plan. Save the Earth. Lio says the Promare want to burn out, so with the help of Galo, and all the Burnish, they create Galo de Lion

This behemoth of a mech saves the Earth and everyone on it. As well as burning out the Promare, sending them home. The movie ends with everyone being okay and the end of the Burnish. Thus the next plan, to clean up the mess they all made. The End

Longer than I thought, sorry... So what’s my thoughts?

Well let’s start with the animation. It was done by Trigger (if it wasn’t obvious just by looking at it), and they go ALL out on it. Everything is stylized and looks gorgeous. The colors just pop out at you, nothing in this movie looks dull. Action scenes are very fast pace and intense, and their calmer moments are beautiful and let you relax with the gorgeous scenery, everything is gorgeous in the movie.

The characers are pretty good, one complaint is that we don’t get to know some of them well, like some of the Burning Rescue. We only get to know Aina out of the Burning Rescue team. Plus a few other side characters, like the two Generals, Meis and Gueira, don’t get enough screentime, but I guess they weren’t the focus.

Galo and Lio, again, were really good main characters, who play off each other well. They both open each other’s eyes and see things in a different light, especially Lio who showed Galo what the Burnish are really like. They do tend to argue and seem to disagree, but they are an amazing team. We see that when they pilot Lio de Galon and together create Galo de Lion. I do believe they fell for one another in the end, but I cannot say it’s canon since I don’t know for sure.

Voice acting was also great. I watched it dub, don’t kill me, and I actually think the dub was better than the sub, and this is coming from someone who watches subs more and is very biased. Billy Kametz played Galo well, just giving off so much energy and really selling his performance. I’ve heard people not liking Johnny Yong Bosch playing Lio, but he was perfect for the role. Enough sass and emotion for Lio, I don’t think anyone could have done it better. Everyone else did a great job as well, Alyson Leigh Rosenfeld as Aina, Crispin Freeman as Kray, and Steven Blum as Ignis. Just... everyone did amazing.

Do I need to say anything about the soundtrack? It’s beautiful and I love every song in this movie, I am listening to is as I type this review. From upbeat songs like Inferno, to the saddest like Ashes. Each song that plays puts the whole scene together, music makes the scene after all. Gallant Ones is the most memorable example (plays during the scene) and it really sets the mood on how the characters feel about one another. Ashes is really good in my opinion since it plays during the death of a Burnish. But they all are good, if you haven’t seen the movie and don’t plan on watching it, go listen to the soundtrack, it’s worth it.

Overall I adore this movie, it’s over the top and super entertaining, keeping my attention the whole time. It has helped me relax during this pretty scary time for me ^^; I highly recommend this movie. It’s got way too many good points that I dare say it’s one of my favorites. It sold me on the plot and I stayed for the great and entertaining characters. If you haven’t seen it (which I would be surprised) then go check it out. If you want to see the sub then it’s on Youtube, but if I sold you on the dub then it’s on Amazon Prime, (you’ll have to pay for both and I’m too lazy to find it for free).

That’s all, thanks for reading my overly long review of this movie.

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plush-anon · 5 years ago

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You're starting to tempt me into your fandom plush-dearest. So please tell me - what do you love about Scooby-Do?

Oh Cryptic... I love so much of the Scoobyverse

I love how, when the gang is written well, they’re best friends and love & support each other

I love the characters, and how much sheer story potential they carry no matter what direction you face them towards

I love the interesting mysteries and monster designs, from all series - ranging from ‘what the hell even is that design, it looks like you glued a rubber duck to a chair’ to ‘holy jesus on a beach why aren’t you running yet that is TERRIFYING’

I love the goofy animation errors and storylines of the 70s and 80s shows, ranging from ‘Shaggy and Scooby are gym teachers to the children of famous movie monsters’ to ‘Vincent Price is a wizard leading Shaggy, Daphne, Scooby, and Scrappy to recapture demons across the world, cure shenanigans’, and ‘hey! let’s solve a mystery with Sonny and Cher today!’

I ADORE the Golden Four - Zombie Island, Witch’s Ghost, Alien Invaders, and Cyber Chase - not only for its adult take on the gang, but also the real magic, the intriguing antagonists, the gorgeous animation.

I usually enjoy the humor, Be Cool Scooby Doo probably making me laugh the hardest of the shows on the whole (seriously, the humor is wonderful - lots of amazing physical gags, stuff toeing the line of the fourth wall without directly addressing the audience, new takes on the characters that still fit them in some way - just a lot of fun stuff overall)

I love the WNSD? episodes and their over-the-top, plain ridiculous DTVS - while they go to strange places, at least the gang love each other and care about each other’s well-being and safety, and at least they push the boundaries without being terrible to the gang’s characters (for the most part)

I even have a soft spot for the live-actions - while they aren’t fantastic works of cinema by any means, they did bring new ideas and character development to the series that still resonate today (Fred as a Himbo, Daphne learning self-defense, Shaggy and Scooby with insecurities on their place in the gang actually handled well - at least, compared to later attempts)

I love how genuinely excited the fandom gets for new properties, even if they turn out to be just... awful (see: SDMI, Return to Zombie Island)

hell, the reaction to the new SCOOB! movie has been wonderful to watch unfold (tho I remain disappointed that it won’t be released to VOD, instead of pushing its release date back indefinitely)

I adore the fandom, and what we’ve made - some amazing art and fanfiction that does so much more credit to the characters than recent DTVS from Warner Bros, as well as some truly hilarious memes - and hell, my first interaction with an online Scooby fandom was a truly wonderful webpage/Yahoo Group that posted fanfic, art, comics, news updates, links to a popular forum that I don’t think exists anymore. Just a wonderful entry into fandom involvement with one of my favorite fandoms in general when I was still in middle school.

The Scooby Doo franchise is a long-running love of mine - in fact, I honestly can’t remember which came first of my first two fandoms/hyperfixations, Scooby Doo or the Oz series by L Frank Baum. And while the series definitely have its ups and downs, there’s just so much to love and enjoy, so many people to bond with on the series (with the biggest fandom split being SDMI, I believe - the live-actions weren’t really regarded as good enough to fight over, since most people agreed on the flaws, but SDMI actually split the fandom proper), and just a lot of fun in general.

The world they craft and tie together is rich with storytelling possibility that you can really sink your teeth into and feast, alongside equally delighted friends.

In short, while flawed, I love the Scoobyverse, and probably always will. How could I not? It’s childhood.

#scooby doo #plush gets personal #i just really love this franchise and fandom #it's flawed no doubt #and some of the properties are bad or just plain weeeiiiird #but it's like home for me #crypticauthour

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gayoperatorgunclub · 4 years ago

Note

Hello ! 17 on the mythical prompt list with Bandit and Jäger please ? 👀 (Or any chars if you're not fond of them)

hi!!! here it is!!! i hope you enjoy 💝💝💝

Dominic was not insane. He was certain of it. Last night, he had hidden his ice cream inside of a secret compartment in the freezer. He distinctly remembered almost knocking over Elias’s mountain of chocolate ice cream, so he knew he hadn’t been hallucinating. But it wasn’t like hallucination wasn’t a possibility. He’d spent the past week or so staying up all night with Marius watching documentaries and keeping him from calling Gustave, Olivier, and Lera to tell them about how essential oils can be used to assist with certain ailments, but how they should be used as a supplement to more traditional methods such as vaccines and antibiotics, rather than replacing them entirely. He would have to tell them of this sacrifice next time he was in medbay for something “stupid”. They owed him big time.

But enough of that. His chocolate fudge brownie ice cream was MISSING!!!!!!!!

There was a thief in the GSG9′s midst, and mark his words, he would find out who if it was the last thing he did.

First, the suspects.

Elias “Blitz” Kötz. Goofball, but make him driven. Already has multitudes of chocolate frozen treats, and is thus unlikely to steal someone else’s, especially since the stolen ice cream was hidden, and if Elias was in the freezer in search of treats, he was not in the state of mind to be thieving while he was at it. You didn’t hear it from Dom, but when Elias isn’t on the clock, he is best described as a......... Himbo.

Monika “IQ” Weiss. If you think for one goddamn second this woman consumes sugar outside of the mysterious week each month during which she eats her weight in chocolate, (the three men of the team each have their own theories about it, ranging from “werewolf” to “cheat week for chocolate addicts rehab” to “chocolate-fuelled alien who has infiltrated our society and is superior to us in every way. lads, we have a decision. either submit to this unknown species, or flee to the woods and live as hermits”) ANYWAYS!!!!!! Dom has a feeling that if he were to confront her about this, she would laugh him into next week. He has serious doubts about his self-esteem’s ability to recover from such an event, even if it would give him the perfect opportunity to storm medbay and tell Gustave the only way he would leave was if the Good Doctor would spend at LEAST an hour complimenting him. And nothing generic, either. These simply must come from the heart. He really just wants an excuse to make Doc talk with that sexy accent of his as much as possible. Is that so wrong? Either way, Monika is innocent. NEXT!

Marius “Jäger” Streicher. No. Absolutely not. Never. No way. Nein. How dare you even suggest it. Talk shit like that again and Dom will fuck you up, just you wait and see. Just you fuckin wait. Bitch.

So.

Clearly, God is testing him.

Well.

“Women want me, God fears me.” He muttered to himself angrily as he installed a hidden camera in the kitchen.

“Dominic? Who are you talking to, mein liebe?” Dominic fell off the counter and landed flat on his back on the kitchen floor. He looked up, and swore he was in heaven, for there, above him, stood an angel in a GSG9 hoodie with the name “Brunsmeier” on it, and train-patterned sleepy pants. God bless.

“Just, uhhhhhhhh. Living out my dreams of being a parkour superstar. Yeah. Yeah.”

This sleepy little angel cocked his head a bit, brow furrowing and good LORD, isn’t he just the cuddliest canidae there is??? What? Marius has a fox-like appearance! Just because he has an attachment to his helmet and visor doesn’t mean his little squinty eyes, pointy nose, and tiny little mouth aren’t there! Not to mention those fucking EARS!!!! Scritch them if you want to be responsible for him. Little baby fox man. Baby.

“You dreamed of being a parkour superstar?”

“Yes. Lifelong dream. Finally living it out. I thank you for your support.” The angel grinned at him adorably and plopped himself down in Dom’s lap, then leaned down so he was laying on top of him. They were nose-to-nose now, and Dominic could NOT handle this kind of tension. Kiss me, you sweet little angel fox-man. Kiss me.

“IF YOU TWO COULD NOT FUCK ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR THAT’D BE GREAT”

Monika. Monika Why. Why.

Many hours (and many rounds- HEYO) later, Dominic is hidden away in a closet, with clear access to the kitchen, and is watching the footage from his camera like a hawk.

He ponders what he’ll do once he’s caught the bastard. Capital punishment isn’t an overreaction, right? Right.

WAIT HOLY SHIT SOMEONE’S IN THE KITCHEN

Wait.

Are those........

Ears? As in, dog ears?

And a tail?!

The GSG9 will have to have a lengthy discussion on appropriate workplace attire.

In the meantime, Dominic has realized that this isn’t a person in the kitchen stealing his ice cream.

It’s a fox.

Like.

A real, live fox.

What The Fuck.

He scrambles to get out of the closet to catch this fox. He’s fairly certain foxes shouldn’t have chocolate. He throws open the door, hits the floor hard, and the moment he does, he hears a quiet little yip! before the fox is scurrying down the hall, tub of ice cream in tow.

Shit.

“ALRIGHT SCRUBS FAMILY MEETING”

Marius stumbled in from his room, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Elias bounded over from the couch, noticed Monika wasn’t joining them, skipped over to pick her up and carry her over, that stupid the-lights-are-on-but-no-one-is-home grin plastered on his face the whole time. You beautiful stupid slut. You’re perfect.

“There is a THIEF in our midst. Whoever it is, please just confess now and no one gets hurt.”

Elias pouted. God, he probably has an appointment to get pegged in a few minutes. Better keep this quick.

“Dominic, mein freund, maybe if you told us what has been stolen we could better help you figure out who it is!” Wow. Wow. How is this hot piece of helpful idiot not receiving constant requests for his hand in marriage.

“My ice cream, Elias. I keep it in a hidden compartment in the freezer, and the past two nights, it has been stolen by an unknown scoundrel, and I demand to know who!”

Monika banged her head on the table. “Hey dipshit, maybe if you could give us a description of the perp we would be of more use to you, instead of, you know, doing our jobs.”

“Well, Monika. The perp is a fox.”

Marius looked like he was going to be sick.

“A...... fox? As in, the woodland creature?”

“The thief had the ears and the tail of a fox! I’m not delusional. I swear it! They were real too!”

Marius stood up, slamming his hands on the table.

“IT WAS ME!!!!”

Dominic waved a hand dismissively.

“Nonsense. You do right by everyone, you’re incapable of theft.”

Marius’ face got all pinched, and he started vibrating.

“What the fu-”

All of a sudden, instead of Marius standing before them, there was a fox.

A fox wearing Dom’s hoodie and a pair of train-patterned sleepy pants.

There was silence. Distantly, Maestro could be heard singing “That’s Amore”

“So. Marius. When were you going to share with us that you’re a kitsune?”

Marius looked angy. Had he eaten today? Perhaps he was hungy. Dominic just wanted an excuse to hold his fluffy boyfriend and take care of him. He’s allowed to be nurturing.

“Can we leave?” Monika asked, “Because Elias has a very important appointment, and I’d like to get back to the workshop because if Masaru laid hands on my work I need time to locate a flamethrower with which to exact my revenge.” Elias nodded along nervously.

“Yeah sure whatever. You two have fun.” Dominic turned back to Marius, who was once again human, and sitting on the table, swinging his legs back and forth like a child.

“You,” Dom moved closer so he could trap Marius in his arms, “owe me two tubs of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. And at least 24-hours of kitsune-cuddles to make up for lost time. Capisce?”

“mhm” was all the answer he got before Marius was pressing his cute little face into Dom’s chest.

#ask #anonymous #r6s bandit #r6s jäger #bandit/jäger #thank you for interacting!

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themildestofwriters-ocs · 5 years ago

Text

OC Masterlist

~Divine Intervention~

Babette Felicia Abrams Melwyn

Celestial | Veteran | The Goddess out of Time

When Babette returned to Earth, she wasn’t even sure she was truly home. But, after a few months of the world staying remarkably consistent, she was beginning to rule out her return as some fever dream of the dying. This didn’t change anything though. It didn’t stop the nightmares. It didn’t stop the memories. Her family—and they were her family, weren’t they?—tried to help, but it had been so long and she could barely remember them.

She needed air. She needed some alone time, out of the hospital, out of the home. So what if it was Shabbos? Home was barely home anymore.

Tag: #oc: babette melwyn

fc: Anya Taylor-Joy

Josephine Avery Williams

Artist | Student | A Fan of the Classics

Josephine was a girl with a lot on her mind and, considering graduation was right around the corner, it was quite the pain in the ass. Grades, ATAR, university prospects, work prospects, drama rehearsals, and this isn’t even counting all going on in her private life. She felt like she was drowning in a tumultuous sea, barely being given the chance to breath.

Small things first. It was Samuel’s birthday, soon, wasn’t it? She still hadn’t gotten him a gift, yet. Perhaps she could organize a short trip to the city, just for that?

Tag: #oc: josephine williams

fc: Jessica Sula

Yael Aoi Melwyn

Complicated | Blade Fanatic | Takes After her Father

The first few moments of life for young Yael Melwyn was the sterile light of a laboratory, behind the spotless glass of her tank. A clone, bred to kill her genetic father and serve as an executioner of the Empire, but defective. She would’ve been thrown to the incinerator or dissected to perfect the final, penultimate clone. But when the very woman she was bred to kill besieges the facility she was born, plans change.

Older now, Yael searches for her father who had vanished so long ago. Her heart aches with pain and confusion and straight denial that Babette was dead. She was lost without her, lost without the single anchor she had in life, without her guardian.

So, when a being of pure light visited her in the night, asking if she wanted to be with her father again, there was no other answer she could give but “Yes.”

Tag: #oc: yael melwyn, #oc: yuuki melwyn, (defunct)

Ezra Valeria Melwyn

Miracle Child | Daydreamer | A Godling in the Playground

Ezra Melwyn, named after his mother’s brother in arms. Despite the chaos that was his birth, life for the little godling has been blessedly quiet (at least, so Mum says). But... there’s something wrong.

A pit of longing grows in little Ezra’s heart. Gods are abound, Uncle Apollo is proof enough, but the only kids like him are in his books. There is no Camp Half-blood, and aren’t any other godlings running around. He loves his mortal friends, but he’s the odd one out. Lavender skinned and golden eyed, he’s alone.

Tag: #oc: ezra melwyn, #oc: azrael melwyn, (defunct)

Henrietta Abrams

One night and Henrietta’s entire life was thrown into chaos. She barely had time to understand what was happening before her sister was shipped away in a speeding ambulance. When she next saw her, it was like a viceral punch to the gut. Tubes stuck out of her arms, out of her

she looked skeletal, almost dead yet somehow clinging to life.

What had happened to her sister? Why did she look at her family like they were strangers?

Tag: #oc: henrietta abrams, #oc: henrietta phillips, (defunct)

Miscellaneous OCs

Josephine’s Family: Harrison Williams (father), Alyssa Williams (mother), Noah Williams (older brother; deceased), Adrian Williams (little brother), Sofia Meric (aunt), Samuel Meric (cousin).

Babette’s Family: Aharon Abrams (father), Diana Harris-Caynham (mother), Fredrick Harris-Caynham (step-father), Benjamin Abrams (older brother), Henrietta Abrams (little sister), Flynn Harris-Caynham (little half-brother).

~A God Among Us~

Amara Windell

[synopsis pending]

Tag: #oc: amara windell

Meryl Culson

[synopsis pending]

Tag: #oc: meryl culson

~ INFAMOUS: Second Sons ~

Diana Evans, the Silica Conduit

Bio-Terrorist | Vagabond | Chaotic Good

Life sucked. First, your city is destroyed in a massive explosion. A plague sweeps the nation. Your family dies. You get superpowers, but you can’t do anything without the DUP hunting you down, and you can’t run far enough.

Years later, Diana Robin is sitting in her government funded cell, twiddling her thumbs. It’s not too bad, if you discount the guards treating you like subhuman pieces of trash, but the food’s alright and she can’t wait until Augustine lets her rip loose in the training arena again. But the Director has been gone for a while now, and nobody’s said a thing.

The answer comes soon enough, though, when some dude named Delsin Rowe comes bursting in, shattering the front door and liberating the conduits trapped inside. But, now that she’s free... what now?

Tag: #oc: diana evans

~Star Wars~

Lyira Arren, Apprentice to Darth Baras

Pureblood | Warrior | The Empire’s Wrath

Orphan of war and daughter of a hero, Lyira’s early life was filled with pain. But that was life, especially in the Empire. What really stung were the expectations. Her sister, Rayne Arren, heir to their house, was by far the more skilled of the daughters of Arren. The Force was second nature, and the things that she could do with her lightsaber were enviable.

What could Lyira ever hope to accomplish in the shadow of her sister, the prodigy? But now it is her turn to attend the prestigious Sith Academy on Korriban, and the most she can hope for is to survive.

Tag: #oc: lyira arren

~Vampire: The Masqurade~

Lisa Stroud

Tremere | Anarch | The Vampiric Troubleshooter

Strong soft arms, guide her to the bed. Bodies intertwined. Pain, then pure aching bliss. Bright lights and an insatiable hunger.

When Lisa went out clubbing to get over a rejection, she didn’t expect for anything to happen. A drink here or there; a break down in the bathroom. But now she’s been thrown into the deep end of vampire politics without a leg to stand on. With a puffed up Prince with the power to kill her in an instant and a brewing civil war on the horizon, Lisa just wished she could have one, one day to acclimatise to her new life.

Tag: #oc: lisa stroud

fc: Eiza Gonzalez

Julie and the Phantoms

Ryn “GrimmApple“ O’Brien

Skeptic | YouTuber | Problem-maker

Ryn was the quiet sort, content to fade into the background, an observer rather than a participant when it came to the daily dramas of Los Feliz High School. After all, why bother with who’s dating who when they could spend time thinking up ideas for their YouTube channel: GrimmApple.

A self-proclaimed skeptic, Ryn loves learning about the various supernatural phenomena, cryptids, aliens, and conspiracy theories across the world. More than that, they loved dissecting them, breaking them apart and debunking them—almost as much as they loved creating their own as little thought experiments. And that is precisely what GrimmApple was about.

Unfortunately, Ryn was going through a bit of a burnout. Motivation was hard to find and things were becoming a bit of a slog.

Then Julie Molina, a fellow classmate, takes the Spirit Assembly by storm with her hologram band, and Ryn needs a moment.

Holograms? Really?

Ryn wants to call bullshit. Where’d some high schooler get access to that sort of technology? In fact, why hadn’t anyone heard of holograms so advanced before? And how did Julie of all people, who hadn’t sung a single note for a year, got hold of a band in just one night? It just doesn’t add up!

So, with support and more than a little guiding wisdom from their older brother, Ryn sets out to solve the mystery that is Julie and the Phantoms.

tag: #oc: ryn o’brien

Terrence “Terry“ O’Brien

Himbo Extraordinaire | Aspiring Filmmaker | Penultimate Big Brother

Ryn’s brick wall of an older brother. Graduated high school top of the football team but quit sports to pursue film making. The gentle giant sort, he’s always looking out for his little sibling, whether it’s helping with their YouTube dream or lending support when life gets tough.

tag: #oc: terry o’brien

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Kaitlyn “Katie“ Walsh

Ray of Sunshine | Witch | Resident Pyromaniac

If Kaitlyn Walsh had to say where everything went wrong, she would cite Halloween night, 1997. One minute, she at a friend’s party, dressed up as a cute little witch. The next? She was face down in a pile of old books in the school’s library. Hours of time gone, no memory of what happened.

She wasn’t the only one. Countless people across Sunnydale had woken up in strange places across the town without any memory of how they got there. Of course, everyone else had different stories—break ins, arson, and violence in the street. It was utter chaos, and the only answer they were ever given was “A gas leak. Mass hallucinations. Nothing to worry about.”

Yeah. Nothing to worry about. Sure.

Still, she was alive. Her neck hadn’t ruptured, and nobody had tried stabbing her with a barbecue fork, so everything returned to normal. Schools. Studies. Boys. Parties. The usual. But… there was this niggling feeling that something had changed. That things were different now.

Then, one night, the power cut out. Her house was bathed in darkness. Rolling her eyes, she muttered a spattering of Latin and the candles decorating her vanity burst into flames.

She froze, staring into the fire and blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. “What the fuck?”

tag: #oc: kaitlyn walsh

fc: Bailee Madison

#oc masterlist #ocs #my ocs #original characters

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