#why are people so mad when i headcanon a character as autistic
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Is so funny to me when people treat a autistic headcanon like i'm putting a random guy in psychiatric hospital.
#why are people so mad when i headcanon a character as autistic#I'M AUTISTIC#let me think that a character that i like is like me#autism jokes#/s
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Strade with an autistic mc?
One of my characters has low functioning autism. She’s really sensitive to bright, noisy light and cold air. (It could trigger a meltdown). Her special interests are stuffed animals, especially if they’re big and cuddly, and apple slices.
She’s not really great at verbal communication especially when she scared or nervous. She’s good at physical communication tho? Expressions?
Also she’s part tanuki soooo do whatever you want with that.
autism gang rise up
i'm gonna make this a headcanon post cus i've written something adjacent to this for strade before (cw for. strade lol)
ren 🦊
suddenly he is the sweetest boy in the world
like so kind, so patient, so sweet
you're out in public and get triggered by bright lights, loud noises, you have a meltdown? ren is literally dragging you out and making sure you're okay
he's speaking to you so sweetly, so gently, he won't touch you if you don't want him to
he's just so patient with you
kind of like...he's the only person who really understands you? the world is so cruel and mean to people like you...and you're so sweet and gentle, you shouldn't be out there...you should be with me, you should let me take care of you...nobody else will
manipulating king. gaslighting king
to be fair he does win your affection with stuffed animals and like. good sensory stuff. blankets, pillows. got a whole autism nest goin
he'll replace all the lights in the house too
doesn't mind when you stim by touching his tail or ears. it just makes him curl into you that much more <3
and like obviously he's doing this cus he's a horny monster that wants you to depend on him
but he does genuinely just want someone to care for
like even if you can't make eye contact all the time, or if you don't understand what he says or tells you sometimes, he'd still be so patient
he knows you struggle with that stuff, and you're doing your best. that's all he asks for <3
law 🥀
autism 4 autism
law is so autistic, are you kidding.
granted their autism manifests kind of differently though. they got the liveleaks autism, the monotone drawl autism, the twin peaks autism (me too)
but like. providing that you survived the first night (cus they might not be able to stop themselves from just watching you wilt)
they'd be reasonably patient and gentle with you
i mean there's like no prolonged eye contact between you
but you'd communicate remarkably well (with what little you did actually talk)
they know how it feels to be misunderstood after all...and you're so delicate and need to be cared for
they wouldn't. totally understand your special interests (cus they like bones and taxidermy and roadkill) but they wouldn't be able to stop themselves from buying a few soft toys
you just look so sweet and comfortable when they leave you for work, why would they deprive you of that?
they might panic if you started having a meltdown, but they'd eventually clue in and. get you settled down (give them a break, they have meltdowns too)
and like. autism 4 autism...you know there's some sadomasochism happening. good for you! good for you...
strade 🔨
i mean. i've written it so. lol
strade would be such an asshole i'm so sorry
like come on you've come preloaded with triggers and buttons he could push to make you panic and freak out. he couldn't NOT fuck around with you
he might get a little overwhelmed himself by how much he likes fucking around with you. it's just so easy
keep a few bright lights on, play some music too loud, put on the air conditioning, that's all it takes? buddy you are NOT surviving this one
but okay okay. on the concept that you DO survive past the first night (lol)
strade would still be pretty shitty about everything
like he wouldn't yell or be mad at you for meltdowns but he would not understand in the slightest (and you know his ass is not looking anything up to make it easier)
it would kind of be on ren to make adjustments (changing lights, reminding him about your sensitivities) and like. maybe then he'd pay attention to some shit
he's better with your special interests and sensory needs tbh. he might even think it's kind of cute that you infodump when you're excited or curl up with blankets and soft toys
that doesn't mean he's not gonna fuck with you though lol.
also. full german stare at all times. will trigger your conversation sensitivity at all time. he loves it.
#ren hana#ren btd#lawrence oleander#lawrence btd#strade btd#strade ykmet#headcanons#qs#cannibal teeth#grease trap#river walker#autists. smash that like button#that's me talking to the entire btd fandom. cus. come on
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I mean the big problem boblem is that the Dunmeshi """""fans"""""" are freaking out and acting like children because they try to convince everyone and themselves that Laios is canon autistic. The moment the author said "Didn't write an autistic character" people had a complete meltdown and then tried to psychoanalyze and play at baby's first armchair psychologist towards the author because they were mad it wasn't made or confirmed canon, just to discredit her own thoughts on her works, and her intentions and storytelling.
Idgf what headcanon you have, it isn't gonna change canon, and nobody can change what's written anyway. Everyone is going to read a story differently. It's fine, because that's what happens when you publish to an audience, especially if they're not close to you. But everyone has to admit that the reaction by these people is just batshit, just because the author didn't confirm what they wanted to hear.
You see a character as a secret flying unicorn spitting sparkles? Great.
Author says it's not that? Normal reaction: Ehh ok, but I still like that idea, so I'll keep on going.
Batshit reaction: Complete meltdowns, accusations of ableism, and trying to convince everyone that the author is wrong and that she's secretly autistic herself! That she just doesn't understand her own writing! That she's so inept at understanding her own intentions, we should completely do away with her explanations and intentions! Clearly a bunch of randos who's fave past time is bitching about the works of others should tell us the true intentions and story! Throw in some insults and threats, and of course ironically using armchair diagnosis as a weapon against someone to explain why we shouldn't listen to them. And there we go, an absolute shitshow.
I think the extra irony comes from the neurodivergent community, especially the autism community doing the armchair psychology to explain why we can't trust the author with her intentions or her writing. Feels like there's a lot of internalized ableism if you have to weaponize a (self created) diagnosis aimed at a person you've never met and don't know, and say we should listen or trust her words, because she's just too inept and uneducated to understand what she's doing or writing.
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villanelle and autism
side notes before i begin:
some of these traits could also be explained by cluster b disorders, as she’s heavily bpd coded and canonically aspd, but i see her as both cluster b AND autistic.
also, please don’t say things like “YES she’s not a psychopath, she’s autistic instead” because she’s still very much aspd and i don’t want to take that away. i’ve seen a lot of people with aspd really identify with villanelle and say she portrays it well.
just scroll if you don’t agree, this is a harmless headcanon and i’m simply explaining why i have this headcanon, as well as why a lot of autistic people seem to relate to her (people get SO mad if you even insinuate a popular character might be autistic lol)
masking/mirroring
masking is a strategy used to hide neurodivergent traits in order to blend in with neurotypicals. this can include mirroring (mimicking others expressions/behaviors), or even entire persona changes.
in the very first scene villanelle carefully observes a man smiling then mimics his smile (1x01)
villanelle hears a woman laugh on the radio then mimics her laugh, later she reuses that same laugh with sebastian (1x02)
liked copying the statue people in the street (2x05)
often mimics konstantin and predicts what he’s going to say
can quickly switch personas, adopts different accents and dialects quickly, and reuses phrases that are said to her
taking things literally
when talking about villanelle anna says “she was quite literal” and goes on to describe how villanelle misinterpreted a joke so confidently that she killed someone because of it (1x07)
interprets the bible extremely literally in season 4
��i have children” “i don’t want your children” (1x05)
“sheep are happier than wolves” “you spend your time off surveying sheep?” (3x08)
took konstantin saying “do something normal” literally (1x02)
“you are not a pumpkin, you a beautiful” (1x04)
kills gabriel because she thought he was genuinely asking to die when he was expressing how sad he was about his situation (2x01)
sensory seeking (& sensitivities)
touches and focuses on the texture of the liliana rizzari duvet, goes out of her way to ask the man she’s killing for the name of the duvet, later purchases it for herself and carefully feels the texture of it again (1x01)
generally touches and smells everything
“i want to smell her skin” (4x03) as well as her describing her ideal perfume in detail then asking eve and konstantin to smell her (3x03)
hates wearing crocs and other “non-nice” things, is very fixated on “nice” things like high quality clothes and food
makes people stroke her hair when she’s feeling upset (2x05 and 4x01)
bold fashion with a lot of colors/patterns/textures
seems to dislike most people hugging her
more up to interpretation, but she wore headphones in 3x04 and 3x05, once while she was having a meltdown on a train
struggles with social cues
includes coming off as blunt/rude, trouble navigating groups, and not interpreting situations correctly
how awkward and blunt she was at her wedding (3x01)
interacting with the church, especially in 4x02
doesn’t know how to react to displays of emotion (gabriel crying, benita crying, was confused and froze when her brother was being affectionate)
doesn’t understand why some people are upset with her (konstantin in s2, may in s4, eve at multiple points)
doesn’t understand that certain things will make people upset (being very blunt with gabriel then being put off when he starts crying)
struggles with understanding boundaries
doesn’t see authority figures as an authority (teasing and flirting with the prison guards, threatening konstantin, casually killing anton, doesn’t seem to understand consequences)
does not follow rules that don’t make sense to her
breaks into eve’s house expecting a normal dinner, doesn’t know how to calm eve down and ends up making her panic more (1x05)
didn’t understand why eve’s coworkers were acting scared of her (3x08)
is confused as to why sebastian laughs when she says she likes national anthems (1x02)
not understanding why her mom was laughing at her and that it was mocking “you always laugh at things that aren’t funny” “like you?” “yes” (3x05)
stimming
the repetitive performance of certain physical movements or vocalizations in order to self soothe or express emotion
big jumpy happy dance (3x04)
during cup game (3x05)
jumping and spinning on the heels of her boots by the train with rhian (3x08)
her copying noises she hears could be a type of vocal stim, echolalia
on the train ride at the end of 3x05
there are more examples but i can’t list them all since she generally bounces around a lot and has a lot of big movements
inappropriate/bizarre responses
yelling “this is so BORINGGG” while in an art museum (2x04)
“i mean i masturbate about you a lot” (1x08)
yelling “JUST DUNK ME” while getting baptized (4x01)
soooo many instances that again i can’t list them all…
alexithymia
alexithymia is the difficulty feeling or identifying emotions (or physical stressors like pain)
her whole aa meeting speech in 2x06 about how she feels nothing and the distress it causes (is extremely bored, hurts herself and it doesn’t hurt, just wants to feel something)
doesn’t know if she’s telling the truth or not (2x07), this could also be because of masking as too much masking can cause identity confusion, not knowing what you’re faking and what’s authentic
weakened sense of danger, even says “i don’t get scared” (2x08)
says she’s fine then immediately collapses (2x01)
other traits
meltdowns, especially at the end of 3x05 where she was wearing headphones and had increased stimming while crying
low empathy
attaches to and fixates on a specific person, obsession prone
REJECTION SENSITIVE DYSPHORIA
has always felt estranged and inherently different from others, “i’m not normal you know” (2x01)
detail oriented, notices things others don’t
bad at dancing/rhythm
exaggerated facial expressions
exaggerated speech
poor impulse control
differences in expressing emotions and communication
only comfortable with select people
perfectionism, hates working with a team and wants to do jobs alone (1x04, 3x02)
feels threatened when irina knows more languages than her, as languages are something villanelle is very interested in (1x08)
black and white thinking
#i’m also autistic btw :)#my posts#killing eve#villanelle#autism#actually autistic#i stayed up until 6 am typing this while half asleep it’s probably not great lol
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My essay on my Fanny button might be autistic
Note: I have been thinking about this so much and now want to share it because I 1) seen others say the same thing 2) seen that the bbc ghosts fans won’t get mad over headcanons about autism and have a lot of them so that’s cool I will say now
Why Fanny button might be autistic
In this essay I will tell you why I think Fanny button from ghosts is autistic and I think she’s a high masking autistic. It won't be a great essay but hopefully will get my point across. I researched high masking in women for this because that’s a specific thing and I really think it’s her I think it really explains a lot of her because Fanny can sometimes be misunderstood by other characters In the show and people who watch the show and there is a reason for this, fanny puts up such a character sort of like she acts so intense all the time and then it’s hard for people to really see past this but what I think happened to make her like this was that when she married George she started masking a lot more because we see in the Christmas special “he came” she was very different before she is very talented at math autistic people can be very talented in something and love it a lot a special interest perhaps* but she was told she can’t do this it’s for men now when I’m thinking about this I’m thinking a lot of this was impacted by the time she was in and being a woman in this time which is why I researched autism in women specifically masking is alot more common in AFAB people because of society alot so it can still apply here it’s just worth noteing the context and differences in society speaking of the time she was in an how society was then okay a common thing alot of autistic people say or feel is “its like everyone was given a book on how to be human at birth and mine was lost” that didn't attuly happen but that's just what if feels like and this is mainly referring to socialy but fanny did attuly get this book there where rules told to everyone then about how to act how to communicate and act around people how your ment to seem etc so when she married George and he did not love her she thought “I need to follow there rules better if I follow them completely he will love me” and she did she learnt these rules and followed them masking. What makes alot of people who may think Fanny is autistic think this is how hard she finds it to accept change now I have looked at the criteria for getting an autism diagnosis and she dose fit it the only thing is that traits had to have been there since you where a child and we can't know that because we never see her as a child for the sake of this we will assume she did so this here is the first part which is social.
A. Need to have persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history
Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions
Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.
Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.
So to fit the first part of the autism criteria you need to have or have had persistent struggles I'm each of those areas as it says above so I will go through them now
On this one I want to go back to thing thing about “it feels like everyone was giving a book at birth on how to be human and mine got lost” referring to social interactions but Fanny did literally have this book there where rules for social interactions and if you followed them then your doing good which is why I think she used these rules to mask but even if someone who is autistic is following all these rules sometimes and I dont actually know how i just heard that people who aren't autistic can still just tell that there is something different there is no way we can see this unfortunately because we only have bits of her life but we know she did have friends who she would mainly talk gossip with but moving on to her death which we have of course much more to go off she dose say very out of pocket things one example which I think alot of people think she was purposely trying to insult Alison but I think she was not really trying to do that she was saying amd making a point of how Alison seemed and that she was not lady like and following the rules whatever but i don't think Fanny saw an attualy problem with what she was saying and this is the “when you first arrived here I though you where a prostitute” she doesn’t really see how this could upset or offende someone she just speaking her mind with no filter she dose not have a filter even when following the rules she was given she still says things which she didn't realise she could not or would not be appropriate so I still think yes to this she dose communication in a strange way with the other characters she can be quite blunt and rude not knowing she is being because it fits within her rules that she knows. Another thing worth noting here is that fanny is closest with the captain who is also quite obviously autistic I think*2 and neurodivergent*3 people tend to become friends with eachother like that.
The main thing I can think of for this is In fanny's body language she always has the same pose same face on she dose notice others body language because she does give out to Alison from doing things not like a lady but again that is most likely learnt she learnt this is how a lady is meant to have her body language and she learnt exactly what to do and look out for when they did the panto for Alison she could not do a different character for fairy God mother and evil step mother the tone the body language was exactly the same despite them being obviously very different characters.
Fanny shows little interest in forming friendships with her fellow ghost, Martha Howe Douglas even says on the podcast that she doesn't like any of them I don't think this Is fully true but it is worth noting also note that many things said on that podcast where also not fully correct I think so it is to be taken with a grain of salt, Fanny definition of friends is “peers and intellectual equals” but a better definition is “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection” so she dose not understand friendships fully, I also think she tends to misinterpret others relationships for example when you read the book you can see how obvious George's affair with the butler and gardner was she also panicked a lot when she was briefly attracted to Mike she made it alot more dramatic than it really was it took her a while to catch on to the fact that she was being just as bad as Betty in the final and she did not notice the captain being gay either most of the ghosts noticed this. She again dose not fully know when she's being rude I don't think she doesn’t know what is and isn't appropriate to say to Alison and the other ghosts, she also viewed Alison as her own daughter which I did notice that but some people did not it was not the most clear on account of how rude she was to Alison so alot of people did not notice she dose not know why this matters and maybe thinks she's being A lot more obvious as a mother then she really is. Said before but diffrent context when they where doing the panto she could not do a difference between he fairy God mother and evil step mother very different character.
As well as that you also need to have three of the four traits I will put next
B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history
Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).
Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).
Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).
Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).
I will now go through if and when I think she shows these behaviors
So a lot of the ghosts do things like this more obvious ones would be the Captain, Mary and Robin I am being honest I don't notice these as much in Fanny but let's go through it, one of the main things people notice is in the captain and all the noises he makes mary pat and fanny do this also (+Robin echolalia) Mary more than Pat but Fanny does this also!! Listen to her there's a video somewhere on YouTube titled the sound of fanny or something she does the same sort of stimming noises that they do another thing this is a bit of overthinking perhaps but the way fanny stand her posture the way she holds herself if you look at it she does almost the same one all the time and it's like she holds her own hands and has then on front of her and she sort of moves around the hands now if you copy this posture and you hold your hands tight and you sort of move around the hands it's like hers so I think she's holding her hands tight she's trying to keep still but still moving around that suppressing stims??? Maybe I think so she also if you look close at her hands her thumb moves every so often and sort of very small strokes her hands this could be the stim that got out of her trying to suppress it if you look at her and if you look at the captain in that scene where havers gives him the letter about France surrendering and he runs to the window he is quite obviously If you watch it then you watch him as a ghost, suppressing stims the feel of that scene is very similar to the feel of fanny's scenes. Also when she was combing robins hair could also be a stim thing feeling textures can be a stim.
This is why people usually if they do think Fanny is autistic think it, she can not handle change like at all it can not affect her ons bit and she can't deal with it she get really stressed and really annoyed about it she can not handle it, she does come around to change eventually for example the land being sold she gets very upset about it then she goes off she calms down she talks about it to Thomas and then she is okay she has a big reaction is very upset by it and then she regulates and eventually accepts it. I also think her insisting Alison follows all her rules to be a lady could be part of this. It is common in autism to care a lot about rules and get stressed if they are not followed but not everyone is like this. I definitely think that's part of this as well as other things. When mary got sucked off she panicked alot she first did not process it which delayed processing can also be a thing with autism I do think she shows this sometimes for example when Alison got pushed it took her a bit and then she got mad but that was also her thinking alot and being lost in thought, she doesn't really process it until Mary's moving on starts bringing up change in her life and now she realize something is missing this is going to be different and her friend is gone she has no idea what to do with herself after realizing this she just panics.
Fanny most definitely has fixations I think one of them was murder she wrote which she was very fixated on for a while so much that she brang it into her own life (death) if it weren't for that they would not have known about Lucy I do this also I try bring whatever I'm currently fixated on into every aspect of my life every project I do I learn new things because of it it really makes its way into your life, I also with Dante Dante the stuffed dog I'm not sure is that an object because it was a dog but now is it still a dog or an object dog or and object/dog? But yes, saying you love a stuffed dog more than anything In the world I think is an unusually strong attachment to a thing. Another note is that she is very good with animals. She had a lot and I think I heard that that is common with autistic people but I'm not sure.
Now this one is a bit harder because she is dead but I said before but combing robins hair sensory seeking feeling textures she very much did not like it when she had to go I'm the basement because she did not like the plague ghosts or the environment for sensory reasons could be both this one is more hard because they don't feel everything In death so I do not know.
So Fanny Button dose fit the autism criteria the best I can try prove that I am not a doctor I just really love ghosts and i think this explains a lot about her character
In conclusion I believe fanny button is autistic I believe she fits the criteria for autism and I think she is specifically a high masking autistic I think without that detail it doesn't make sense but I love this theory because it makes her make sense and it helps you to think about her character better.
Goodbye
Notes 2
*the maths thing was never mentioned after that though but you can have multiple special interests so I could be that and something else like maybe all her ladylike rules or her pets gossip don't know
*2 I also think mary is autistic specifically they all have traits lots of them and I'd say I could do this for most of them but it is worth noting, noting that's all we can completely ignore it after this but in TV shows the characters they are people but they are different then people so it's much easier to see autistic traits and traits of anything like for example personality disorders that maybe if they were a real person it would not be the same but that's it I love all the theory's regarding this and they all fit and make sense
*3 yeah they are all neurodivergent probably also I think Fanny and the captain are very similar and show a lot of there autistic traits in the same way or similar
hopefully all this information is correct thank you for reading if you have anything to add I would love to hear it
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Okay, so. I've recently been really, really, really into Dandy's World (yanno, the Roblox game). There's many toony, intriguing characters, but the one that has caught my eye from the very start and has been holding it captive since August, when I started playing (what the hell dude give it back) is...
Astro! After all, I can't help being a sucker for moon-themed characters. They speak to me on a level unavailable to mere words.
Wanting to know how people characterize Astro, I scoured the internet for headcanons and theories, just to gain the slightest insight into how people perceived my darling moon man. It was not a very, ah, fruitful search.
You know what they say: if you want a job properly done, do it yourself. Thus this post. yayayayayaya (feat. projecting. like. a *lot* of projecting. And also me desperately trying to explain how badly I relate to this gloomy, tired waning cresent. If I am getting awfully verbose, please bear with me. I'm just excited.)
- First of all, it's quite strange that I don't see that much headcanons for autistic Astro. Some traits of his really resonate with my own autistic traits. (I also headcanon him as predominantly inattentive ADHD but this is more projecting than 'I have a point actually' but it's not entirely projecting either? I don't know man I'll try elaborating later). I also headcanon Astro to have problems with anxiety (probably canon) and depression (might be canon-ish, if you read his Twisted description).This will all hopefully be elaborated on later in the post.
- Aroace! His relationships are actually QPRs :3
- He's fairly sensitive to others raising their voice. Not only is Loud and Uncomfortable, it also gives him the gut feeling of 'oh shit are they mad?? are they mad at me oh shit oh shit' and it's fight or flight from there.
- He's not the best with his own (and to some extent, others') emotions. He can get random, inexplicably strong emotions out of seemingly nowhere, eg. guilt, sorrow, anxiety, etc. However, people consider him quite an understanding Toon as he's fairly good at listening to others.
- His blanket is weighted.
- His circadian rhythm is beyond salvageable (well, if Toons have circadian rhythms). This is due to staying up all night to ensure the Toons have good dreams, and a lot of long day naps. A lot.
- Intense sensory input tires him out. This includes bright lights, highly saturated colours, crowds of people moving & stamping around and talking at the same time. Which is why the Astro's Room map exists. It serves as a place of refuge for him when all the snap and noise and colour of the rest of Gardenview get to him. If he can't go back to his room when things get too much for him, he will sometimes curl into a ball mid-air as to ensure he doesn't touch anything, even the ground. The toon handler photo actually relates to this. I headcanon that Astro was supposed to take the photo in a more isolated area, without flashlights and the public surrounding him. But the Gardenview higher ups just. Didn't give a shit and made him take the photo at a large publicity event, intense sensory input and all. This is why Astro's handler looks pissed, as he was angry for Astro's needs being unaccommodated despite being a main. It took quite a long time for Astro to unwind and destress from the event, with help from his handler and some other toons (mostly the mains).
- Speaking of Astro getting mistreated by Gardenview, young Astro was a massive crybaby and got so much flack for it from the Gardenview executives. The photography headcanon mentioned above was caused by said executives think that 'he had to toughen up somehow'. He has not grown out of being prone to tears but he's growing accustomed to holding it in until he's alone until he starts breaking down sobbing.
- His stims include fidgeting with his nightcap and blanket, hand flapping (he often does this without knowing), rocking himself and pacing. Pacing is by far his favourite + most common. He also has one that involves him doing a small jump in the air and slowly floating back down (similar to his ability animation).
- He can definitely sleep while standing up.
- It's pretty much canon that he has psychic powers, but I headcanon that the specific powers he has include telekinesis, some degree of precognition and levitation, not to mention his power over sleep and dreams. The precognition thing is a large reason for the guilt that consumes the mind of his Twisted version and Toon version (albeit the latter being on a more minor scale).
(TW for self harm in the next point)
- Sometimes he overexerts himself with his powers on purpose. This leads to symptoms like vertigo, nausea/vomiting and extreme lethargy and depression. His Twisted form is permanently stuck in this state.
Now, time for some lighter headcanons!
- He's really intelligent and can be quite logical and strategic. Hell, he'd have figured out what Dandy was doing with the Ichor even without his powers. (HE'S ALSO A NERD. THIS IS COMING AFFECTIONATELY FROM SOMEONE WHO IS ALSO A NERD. HE'S MOST LIKELY A SPACE NERD THOUGH BUT I ACCEPT NERDINESS OF ALL SORTS)
- He has plenty of catlike mannerisms. I will not elaborate.
- The blanket he carries around has been with him since his conception. It used to be way too big for him so you'd just see a baby Astro towing around a cape of a blanket. (He'd trip on it sometimes, but he usually stands back up unscathed).
- There's probably numerous forums out there made by grown up fans of the show discussing 'what the fuck is Astro'. Some might just consider him an anthropomorphic moon, but others disagree and continue debating because 'what kind of moon has SIX LIMBS' (side note: if i were Astro, I'd only ever show my hands when I'm flipping someone off. Rest assured that I will use all four of them)
- Assuming that Moonflower was canon at some point + resulted in marriage/engagement, Dandy probably proposed with an armillary sphere ring. However, I headcanon their current relationship to be highly strained or even borderline abusive (pov: manipulative ahh abuser Dandicus) due to the Ichor situation. Despite Dandy's efforts to hide the degradation of their bond, other toons have already noticed it. Vee was the first to know and is slowly persuading Astro to let go. (okay if anyone jumps at me for mischaracterizing Dandy, I wanna clarify that I see him as kinda... morally grey? Grey-ish? Like he might have had good intentions but stuff happens and he ends up hurting and manipulating others)
- If the Toons knew about Pokémon, there'd be a running gag that Astro was one. Specifically Lunala.
- Has read the DSM at some point. I don't know, I think he'd read it out of sheer curiosity, just as a 'mmm interesting 👁️👁️'
- Given the right topics, you find him becoming Shelly in terms of enthusiasm and knowledge.
- Sweet food connoisseur.
Okay. I promised you a part on AuDHD Astro. Nobody asked, yet you receive nonetheless. My verbosity does not improve here so you can guess what's coming. Spoiler alert: I go off topic. Very, very off topic. (This isn't me trying to diagnose Astro or anything, it's more or less relating my own relationship with my disabilities with a silly fictional character that speaks to me.)
- The first thing I saw in Astro was the... melancholy? Hanging over him like it was his default state. (also fun fact this was also the reason that lead to me buying Razzle and Dazzle for my first purchased Toon) I also saw the physical obscurity, the way he hid his body behind a tightly-wound blanket, the way part of his face was always in shadow. I've always been somewhat reluctant to be fully perceived. Maybe that why I enjoyed the Moon, something that erratically switches between 'i will gladly be dissected to bits and put on display' to 'for the love of God, don't acknowledge me'. The desperate feathered want for understanding clashes with the deep-rooted fear of the pain that comes with rejection and once again being seen as too 'weird', too 'off', too 'difficult', too 'sensitive', too 'anxious', too 'logical', too much yet too little of everything, paradoxes and all. It was ridiculous, but Astro seemed like he'd know, what it was like to never get a hold of the middle ground that others seem to navigate with ease. I laid my eyes on him, and I decided that I would buy him one day. One day.
- Once I had taken an interest to Astro, I consulted the Dandy's World Fandom wiki to scrape out any information I could get out of the site. I learned that he was shy, that he was stealthy, from his dialogues and the way he shies away from the camera, hiding behind his handler. He was tired often, and would sometimes doze off during excursions. He did not like loud spaces, and has the tendency to talk with many pauses, perhaps to think out what to say next. He enjoyed reading, and in his conversations, he is confronted by another toon, to which he responds by backtracking and apologizing. Yet he does not seem to be entirely without backbone. All these traits coagulate into a foreign yet oh-so familiar persona, while my mind pokes and prods at me, saying 'look, that's you'. His traits, my traits, my traits that came as a package deal or a cause-and-effect with my own disabilities (the dislike of noise and light and the attention it tends to entail, the exhaustion, the apologies that I have gotten many an amused 'you haven't done anything wrong' for, the withdrawal of the needs and wants of the self, see Vee's comment of 'You need to start worrying about yourself more' the being told that you made to be great but still act like a wallflower, maybe out of fear or other incomprehensible reasons). I can never put it all into words, how Astro, a cartoonish character from a Roblox game, has this much significance to me. It's ridiculous, yes, but it's still true.
In short: *blasts Astro with the self-projection + 'he just like me fr' beam*
(Also, if you managed to get through all of this, wow. I'd never expect someone that's willing to wade through my projectile-word-vomit, but here you are. Thank you for reading it all; it means worlds to me :D)
#astro dandys world#dandy's world#astro dandy's world#dandys world#dandys world astro#dandy's world astro
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Do You Know This (non-canon) autistic Character?
Propaganda:
This Tumblr post (I will copy and paste, we had to be detectives due to original link being broken as url had changed. They may change url again).
"Reasons why i headcanon El Hopper as autistic, by an autistic Stranger Things fan
1. issues with social skills
- isolation or autism? okay so I know a large part of the reason she has trouble with social cues is the fact that she was isolated in a lab for many of her formative years, but I think it goes deeper than this. She wasn't completely alone. There were other kids in the lab and obviously all of the kids from the lab are going to have stunted social development and stuff, but even when she was with the other kids in the lab, she was a bit of an outcast. This was shown in the flashbacks in season 4, where she was getting bullied for being "slow" and she was much quieter than the other kids. We also saw Kali as an adult, and even though she was still an outcast, her social skills seemed pretty average. the issues she did have were pretty clearly a direct result of her trauma, whereas El seemed to have issues connecting with others in the lab even before she was traumatized.
- in the real world So up until season 4 we don't really get to see El interacting with other kids her age, aside from the people who she is friends with. In season 4, when she goes to high school in CA, she is very clearly an outcast. although we don't see exactly why or when the bullying started, i think it's pretty clear that it's because they think she is awkward and doesn't fit in completely
2. emotional regulation
- the most prominent example of this in the show is her anger issues. when El gets upset, she often reacts very strongly and gets fired up pretty quickly. she often resorts to using her powers in intense scenarios when emotions are running high. This is shown many times during the show, one example is her argument with Hopper where she loses control of her powers and breaks all the windows. This specific instance is also intertwined with her trauma from the lab and her being overstimulated, but I think throughout the show there are plenty of examples where something similar happens, like when she hits Angela.
- She also acts largely on emotion in general, this is less of a regulation issue and more just a general character trait that she has. it's not a negative thing either, i just notice that she is not the type the think long and hard before doing something, she reacts pretty quickly to things and doesn't really "think before you speak/act"
- related to this, as well as overstimulation (mentioned later) she is shown having a meltdown/shutdown when emotions are too intense
- she also shows her emotions pretty openly on her face, once again tho this isn't specific to autism It is pretty common to be overly expressive
3. Routine
- in season 2, Hopper tells Elevn different schedules and plans, and whenever he breaks from this she gets pretty upset. For example she gets mad that he is late for their movie night. There are several instances of this
- She also eats eggos regularly (more on that later) amd watches tv shows with Hopper. While these things aren't specifically stated to be done on a schedule, I think we can assume that they are routines, since meals happen routinely and television at the time would have operated on a daily schedule.
4. black and white thinking/morals
- "Friends Don't Lie" is probably the best example of this. El hears this mantra when she first meets the boys and ever since then it's been a pretty important part of her moral code. She believes this fully, with almost no exceptions. although she does start to deviate from this in season 4, I still think this is a pretty good example of the black and white morals common in autistic people
5. echolalia
- she repeats words a lot of the time, for example repeating phrases she learned from other people and using them repeatedly "mouth breather" "bitchin'" etc
- in conversation with people, she will often repeat back parts of their sentences ("give him a taste of his own medicine" "give him the medicine?" and "you're going to dump his ass" "dump his ass")
6. picky eating/sensory stuff
- eggos: although it's not clearly stated that she has an issue with any other foods, she has a very clear preference for eggos which is similar to how a lot of autistic people have specific foods that we are comfortable eating.
7. stimming
- mentioned earlier with the echolalia, but I think repeating words and learning new words is a self-soothing thing
- I'll have to look back at the show a little bit more but I'm pretty sure she tends to rock back and forth sometimes? could be wrong about this tho
8. difficulty with language
- although this has largely been influenced by the lab and her coma, her speech issues do parallel struggles that many autistic people also have
- she is partially non-verbal, although she becomes more and more verbal throughout the show. she still does go quiet in some situations though
- her general speaking cadence is just. very autistic. each word is spoken very deliberately and precisely.
9. overstimulation/meltdowns
- she sometimes gets overwhelmed when there is a lot going on, for example in season 2 when she is arguing with Hopper, and in season 4 when she is being surrounded by people in the roller rink.
- every time she uses her power she has a low battery, although I don't think this was intentional I think it's a pretty good metaphor for being overstimulated and how much energy a meltdown takes out of you
10. fashion sense
- she generally is not super aware of fashion trends, and dresses more for physical and emotional comfort than to be trendy. once again not specific to autistic people but a very common trait for us.
That's all i can think of for now, but if there are any other ideas people have please let me know"
#el hopper#jane ives#stranger things#eleven#eleven stranger things#autistic characters#autistic representation#poll#polls#tumblr poll
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sigh
im post blocked
anyway
FISHALICIOUS
WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE EVAN ROSIER HEADCANONS
(ive been asking everyone because he's slowly becoming my favourite)
just now realising you asked this nearly a month ago i'm so sorry i don't know why i struggle with answering asks so much!! but anyways evan headcanons i will GLADLY give. my characterisation of him is less concrete than characters like barty or regulus but i think about him loads still i love him...
this is a classic ofc but i will always see him and pandora as twins!! i love siblings in media so much and i think it allows for suuupper interesting dynamics between them, even in canon
in muggle aus my go-to career for him is either a piercer or something in the medical science field. i can just picture him as this mildly off-putting medsci student who goes on to be a forensic pathologist or something, he's really intrigued by the human body and how it functions in various ways. could definitely also go the way of unlicensed surgeon or mad scientist who performs fucked up experiments on people but that sort of thing doesn't quite fit into every fic lmaoo
i've always thought of him as more of a piercings guy than a tattoo guy (which is the opposite to barty). he'd definitely have both but i associate him more with piercings if that makes sense? i imagine he'd have a labret, bridge, stretched lobes (~7/8"), stretched septum (~0g), eyebrows (normal and middle placements), and high nostrils. all symmetrical!! plus probably some other non-facial piercings
he'd love sci-fi, thriller, and horror (especially psychological) films. anything super tense and probably confusing
when he was a child he and pandora would trap and kill insects. they'd spend ages examining little bug bodies and dissecting them with sticks and stuff... as he grew older he became more and more interested in bigger animals. occasionally he would kill animals himself but more often he'd search for those already dead, especially roadkill. once he was finished with any given specimen he'd carefully remove, clean, and reconstruct their skeletons to give to pandora. she didn't like the organs stuff as much as he did but she loved collecting bones and taxidermy insects, in exchange one year for his birthday (10-14th, maybe) she spent ages searching to buy him a surgical set from an antique store
waaay scarier than barty. if you don't know them you might be more initially scared by barty but while barty is loud and crazy and violent and laughs at pain/danger, evan is creepy. he knows way a million and one ways to kill someone without leaving behind any evidence. he knows every single pressure point on the human body. someone mentions a medicine they've taken their whole life for the first time and when someone else asks what it is he can explain in minute detail exactly how it works to the point where not even the person who takes it knew even half of what he says. he's super quiet moving without even meaning to be so he scares the shit out of people all the time. he doesn't blink as often as he should but just often enough that you don't notice until you're paying attention. and this is all revealed gradually, whereas barty's most "scary" traits are purposefully the most surface level things about him
he loooves medical dramas. he's watched tons of them. he HATES the good doctor though, purely on principle because once someone said that must be his favourite because he's autistic. his actual favourite is house
he runs cold and NEVER wears shorts. lots of beanies and jackets
these were so random and i went on a few tangents but oh well i did like five other things between writing these so it's a bit of a mess LMAO
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Hi Dana and Ceph! I'm sending this to the both of you cuz I'd like to know your opinion (and between the Mimic debate and the "Gregory is evil" thing I trust yall more than youtube theorists X) )
I'm wondering, who do you think the other therapy tapes belonged to? Patient 46 if I'm remembering. What are/were your headcanons about their identity and do you still think that?
I was using that and the one unmasked ending to say that there were two Vannys in a fic/retelling I'm building, but with Vanny and Vanessa being pretty much confirmed 1:1 it's made me all confused.
Ceph already answered this, but I suppose I will too.
Sorry I've been sitting on this one for awhile.
But I guess I should get all my thoughts about Patient 46 out there.
Before the DLC dropped, I would have guessed Cassie was patient 46 and had possible connections to Charlie.
However, post DLC, Having played Ruin, I can say that Patient 46 is NOT Cassie nor does she have any connections to Charlie. Other then then her empathetic nature and wanting to help, but even that's a stretch to connect the two.
She also has no clear connections to the Profile in the therapy tapes. (And I mean behavior profile) so she doesn't match.
So Cassie is ruled out entirely.
Another thought I had was that Patient 46 was Vanny. And a lot of people had similar thoughts when the games came out. But..... No. A lot of the therapists in the way they address 46 are clearly talking to a child. As their feet dangle from the chair, and while it could be a very short woman, Vanny is not short. She's as tall as Vanessa.
The therapists often try to say "you don't know what that means" about rather simple terms or phrases. And often try to be gentle with 46, even when being accusatory as compared with Vanessa's tapes.
(one of them legit says "you need to let this go if you ever want to be happy" to Vanessa...great therapist Fazbear 10/10 .... 🙄 )
While as with 46, they moreso go "I want to talk to you about something....." And then they hit them with the hacker and manipulator stuff.
So Patient 46 is a non-verbal child. All the tapes involve them either making gestures or pointing at things we can't see. Which leads me to believe either... The patient doesn't want to talk to therapists and mistrusts them, is non verbal autistic or went through a deeply traumatizing event and that's why they're in therapy.
Or they're just mute but I think the other are more likely.
My other thought was that it might be Vanessa as a young child....
But that doesn't add up either.
Cause both of these therapists are disappearing at the same time.
One of the therapists (and I think it's the case for all of them) said to not just work with big corporations like Fazbear. They also work in schools.
So when these therapists are dying, in a small population like Hurricane Utah, it makes sense that the therapist they outsource for Fazbear Entertainment will also take a job at the local school if they transfer. Cause both positions need to be replaced.
So... Who else could it be....
Well, there's always a possibility that it's someone we don't know yet. Maybe even the protagonist or a character in Help Wanted 2.
But....
Well...
No.
I don't think so.
It's Gregory.
There's no one else it could be.
In the GGY Story from the books... There's this weird paragraph aside that talks about the school therapists.
How the newest one was like, and how the old ones were like...
And they described their personalities as presented in the tapes. One being strict and a bit full of herself, the other being nice and cheerful, and another one being matter of fact.
These were there therapists at Gregory's school who were going missing.
GGY also connects the Greg in that story to Freddy Fazbear himself, and being a really skilled hacker who cheated to get high scores on arcade cabinets.
Gregory also gives him the alias Dr.Rabbit. most likely in reference to the Scraptrap arcades he plays. And he probably likes the mad robot scientist..... And where he got the idea to upgrade Freddy by Frankensteining parts into him.
Before the DLC I wasn't able to make sense of GGY. Because we'll "Gregory's not a hacker. He follows instructions on a keypad to update Freddy"
But.... In the DLC
Gregory said HE developed MXES......
Sure, there is speculation that Vanessa might have helped him, as he says that Vanessa has access to the building maps and is helping him...... But he said that HE designed the MXES Security System.
Which takes the shape of a Rabbit....
And Patient 46 was told by the therapists to lie about his home life. The therapist did research and find out that 46 had loving parents and lied about it.
We see a trend of that behavior in the GGY Story.... Where Tony, our dumb protagonist, thinks Gregory has super rich and well off parents..... But also admits that Gregory is dirty and cuts his own hair....
Something that just doesn't add up if he had attentive parents. So he probably ran away from home at that point and is squatting at the Plex.
It's unclear if 46 is actually lying about having horrible parents.... Or the background search was incorrect.
Patient 46 also came into contact with someone or something with Rabbit ears at some point.
However, I'm not drawing conclusions that Gregory is being manipulated by Glitchtrap or Vanny at all. Cause the therapist legit says:
"I don't think you're being manipulated here. I think you're the one doing the manipulating...."
.....
All the evidence lines up.
Gregory is GGY and Patient 46. There is no one else it can be.
What we know, he lies fervently about his home life. He ran away from home. He mistrusts adults A LOT. He programed Freddy to basically be his body guard. He's been abducting his classmates to the Pizzaplex. He's been using animatronics to kill his therapist when they get close to him.
And he is manipulating someone with rabbit ears....which could be anyone.... It could even be a Fazbear Technician we don't know or Cassie's Dad.
The only reason Gregory is vulnerable in Security Breach is because Vanessa took Gregory's toys from him, and Freddy experienced a system malfunction on stage so he doesn't answer to him or remembers him anymore.
(I do believe that Gregory genuinely sees Freddy as a friend by the end of the game and not a tool)
And from Vanessa's frustration, she's been hunting down Gregory for a LONG TIME. Not just the night of the in-game events. It's only that night she figures out his name, cause Gregory was good at staying hidden and out of her way since before then.
I don't nessarily think all of this means Gregory is evil.
The MXES being associated with a purple rabbit was the main reason why he was so misleading in FNAF and why a lot of people thought he was the villian at first.
So maybe all of Gregory's behavior is meant to be misleading. He might be an anti hero. In game, he mentions the disappearances at the end and seems concerned about them, despite him causing some of them in GGY and if he's patient 46.
I don't think Gregory is evil.
I honestly see a scared kid, who has been forced to play defensive his entire life. So he lashes out with agression.
An eye for an eye.
"get them before they get me"
Play offensive preemptively, against people who aren't even playing with you.
There is no one else Patient 46 could be at this time...
And I am interested to see what they do with this.
If they just go "he's just evil" like FNAF is prone to do....
That will be a bit disappointing.
Because I do think that there is a way that you can make Gregory like this, and still have it be very interesting.
Because child innocence tarnished by neglect and suffering is a very dangerous thing.
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okay, it’s my turn to obsess over the minor details we get about background NPCs and come up with elaborate headcanons based on scant information. Rolan, Cal, & Lia have had their time in the sun—let’s talk about Doni & Rikka!
I recently saw Doni’s letter to his father in-game for the first time. if you haven’t read it, here’s the text. you can find it in the Festering Cove in the Underdark!
Dad,
Sorry I stopped writing - we ran out of paper on the road. I got this from the druids. Maybe that’s why they’re so mad at us.
I hope this can find you. Zevlor says you got lost and that our old house is gone, but I read a book that says all rivers find their way into the Styx.
When you get it, you can write me back in Baldur’s Gate. Or maybe come visit?
I’ll write again when I can get more paper.
- Doni
while I was looking for this note on the wiki, I also noticed that Doni is listed as the ward of Rikka, one of the tieflings who is guarding the gate at the Emerald Grove. I can’t find the source for that exact bit of information, but I did find this description of a quest line I’ve never gotten in-game before.
Find Doni only occurs if the leaders of the goblin camp are left alive and learn the location of the Druid Grove. In this instance, the goblins come to raid the Grove and the tieflings and druids prepare for the assault. As part of this, Rikka is wandering around the Hollow searching for Doni, who has gone missing. Rikka has instructed all of the tiefling children to hide in their hideout and she will lock the hatch so that no harm comes to them. She can't do that until Doni is found.
I couldn’t find the actual dialogue that accompanies this quest, so maybe Rikka specifies in this interaction that she is Doni’s guardian! either way, it seems like she takes responsibility for all of the children in this scenario, as well as in the alternate scenario where you kill the goblin leaders—when the tieflings are preparing to leave the Grove, she can be seen giving the children instructions on how to stay safe on the road.
so here’s what we know—
Doni lost his dad back in Elturel, but he either seems to not know or not accept that his father is likely dead.
several of the other tiefling children seem to be orphans or not have parental figures present, and Rikka appears to take on a caretaking or protective role towards these kids, particularly in the Grove.
there must be dialogue somewhere revealing that Rikka has taken on caring for Doni full-time since they began traveling together.
and here are some questions I still have—
who is Mol’s guardian? Mattis and Silfy’s? Mirkon’s? it’s interesting that Doni is the only tiefling kid without parents present that seems to have a guardian-ward relationship with one of the adults in the group of refugees. it leads me to wonder if Rikka knew his family before their exile, or if perhaps she simply grew more attached to him than the other children.
what becomes of Rikka and Doni after they leave the Grove? in my only full playthrough so far, I neglected to convince Rolan, Cal, and Lia to stick around, so most of the tieflings died :( I’m wondering if these two make it in the scenario where you do convince the siblings to stay!
my budding headcanon about why Rikka has taken on Doni as her ward is that he seems to be having a harder time dealing with the collective trauma the refugees have undergone than the other children. people have debated whether his lack of talking & eye contact points to the possibility of him being autistic, or whether it’s more of a trauma response—I think it could be both.
he was perhaps always a closed-off child who struggled with social mores and sensory issues, and the chaos of the past few months has only made it more difficult for him. Rikka, an empathetic character who is seen to care for all the children, might have felt a particular responsibility towards caring for him and helping him feel safer.
most of the tiefling kids who do make it to Act 3 seem to be doing their own thing, no adult supervision necessary—Mol running with the Guild, Silfy selling papers, Mattis continuing to run his little shop. it’s lovely, seeing the freedom they have, but it is still a little heartbreaking to see them have to work for their livings, to imagine the sort of hardship they’ll no doubt endure as orphaned refugees in the city.
so perhaps it’s a bit optimistic of me, but I do like to imagine that Doni and Rikka survive and make it to the Gate together. Rikka will need to find work, and Doni may still spend time with the other kids, helping Silfy with sales or hanging out with Mol when she’s not lurking in the sewers. but ultimately, he has a home with Rikka, and as he deals with the grief and trauma of displacement and losing his father, she is able to give him an opportunity that none of the other tiefling children seem to have—to just be a kid.
I would love to hear any thoughts, headcanons, or more canon information about these two that I may have missed! I hope you enjoyed reading this and sharing a glimmer of hope with me :’)
#I have a feeling they probably don’t make it canonically BUT#I can dream#and their relationship is interesting to me either way#bg3#meta#doni#rikka#tieflings#emerald grove#baldur’s gate
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What is it with me being drawn to the most fucked up personalities ever 🤦♀️
Let's talk Hilbert, pt. 1
There was a post where I was totally freaking out in the tags but it's got buried in the drafts, so I'll just go off it here, but hopefully in a more constructive way. I really hope my mind didn't lose its ability to do this yet. Buckle up, this is going to be a long one. (I mean it.)
I want to rant about how wrong the accent sounds and how the character is yet another example of a distasteful trope in north american media, but the fuckheads in the government confirmed this trope in multiples so whatever. Besides, I can't really complain when the character turned out to be compelling and... well. "Complicated" would be a bit of an overstatement I think, but - complicated enough to spur some thoughts.
So my first thought was the one I started the post with, because after the first shock of Hilbert's mutiny settled and future episodes revealed more of his behaviour, backstory and character overall, I had to admit with a certain amount of inner horror (10% to 20%) and frustration (at least 80%) that yes. "Oops, I did it again".
I have a history with such personalities, feel drawn to them and have been really, really trying to stop this nonsense for a year, but. Uh. Looks like this code runs too deep to scoop it all out just like that, huh. Anyway, back to the topic.
Well, this time I at least know exactly why the character compels me so much. "Airlock, please."
I'll start with why I've grown to be okay with "mad evil russian scientist" trope - not because the above mentioned fuckheads in the Gov confirmed it (they did and I hate them and what they're doing but unfortunately can't do anything about it), any generalisation based on a trait like nationality, gender, race and so on is a very bad thing I don't want to participate in no matter the circumstance, - but because Hilbert was given an actual well-rounded personality, and, most of all, I can't help feeling tons of respect to it. He is pretty smart, after all - knows several languages, has a degree in molecular biology, and apparently AI programming is a walk in a park for him, although his skills in this department aren't as great compared to actual specialists (but then again Maxwell is in a league of her own and is far above most of her colleagues even, so everything is relative). Being this well-versed in a field not directly connected to his own and mastering several foreign languages is. Well - wow. I'd respect this alone.
Hm, I'll start again, from the beginning.
Hilbert turned out to be the character I felt more interest towards pretty soon (the other two being Hera and - later - Eiffel), probably after that joke about "people keep saying that, and yet my problems keep going away". There wasn't much time between the moment he stopped being just a comic relief and his betrayal, but that time was enough I guess. Because the very first thing that grabbed my attention and kept it till the end was just how easy he is to understand. Seriously, of all the characters - I can barely trace what they could potentially do or think, they aren't defined enough for me (and that's fine, I feel this way about most people), - but this one is crystal clear.
It's his whole... personality frame? the way he speaks and thinks? It's just very clear. Not always as logical as he'd like to believe, but close. Most things he says are very reasonable, and... ugh. I'll round back to this anyway, so better let the cat out of the bag right away: I'm ND, and I've seen some people headcanon him to be autistic, and I don't really have any better way of describing why he's so understandable to me. It's just the way neurodivergent people think - different for everyone, of course, and NTs can do this like that too (after all, there are SO MANY unintentionally autistic or ADHD characters out there), - but there are still patterns, and I recognize them here.
It's in his reasoning and actions before the Christmas "surprise" - mostly calm, collected, speaks very directly and straight to the point. He mostly keeps up this pattern even when he lies.
And then, once you learn where you stand with him - after the mutiny - you know. Even when he hides something, it's clear that he's keeping things. He has a very distinct moral code and follows it, so when lying has no point anymore, he doesn't. I don't think he lied to the crew after the initial betrayal at all? Idk, I may be forgetting things, listened to it just once yet save for the first 10 eps (because I can't get through the last one and went back to the beginning).
There's a kind of trust in this transparency. Yes, everyone knows that Hilbert knows far more than he tells and if he doesn't see a good reason to, he probably won't say a word he doesn't want to. But the fact is, you still know about that. It's obvious when something's missing, the spaces are glaring. I have a feeling he doesn't like lying all that much, or rather doesn't see the point of it unless it's strictly necessary. Why wasting the resources when you don't have to and can direct them to more pressing matters, like saving the humanity, am I right?
So that's two points. The third - one when I REALLY realized I'm stuck well and deep - was the "Airlock, please". No hesitation, nothing. Just a polite choice. That short line fucked me up well.
Because after his betrayal I was horrified. I like how the podcast doesn't let any terrible moments slip or stay "behind the scenes" - no, if there's a life threatening situation, the audience doesn't have the luxury of sitting it out safely unaware. We're going to experience and hear it all, "present day, present time". So when Minkowski was shut out of the ship in outer space, while Doug was desperately trying to come up with a solution, I obviously empathized with them. And all this time we were listening to the doctor, proceeding with his orders in the most cold-hearted manner possible. He heard it all, too, and didn't waver. This was terrifying and I honestly couldn't imagine how this character was going to be present for the most of the podcast - I wanted him dead, the sooner the better. And - as a parallel line of thinking - couldn't help feeling it was such a waste. I started liking this character, he was goofy but really easy to understand, and it's very nice to have someone like this. Obviously everything was going to change from that point.
But then. The way he went through all the interrogations, all the insults and mocking? And his fucking choice to die right away rather than to give away the information he didn't think was intended for his former crewmates? Before that answer I thought he was keeping his mouth shut because of the company only, fear of the higher-ups or something - he did follow their orders and threw away the lives of two people who weren't strangers to him, so it was a reasonable assumption! Minkowski seemed to think the same, judging by her remarks, but no. And that moment, that single answer turned my understanding of this character upside down. None of that dignity was just a show, he really meant it.
I realized he didn't fear for himself. At all. A complete disregard of self, was it? It seemed so that moment, and yeah, it was fucking compelling - the only thing that mattered was his work and his dedication to it. If it was only that, I wouldn't be typing all this though.
Before I continue, I'll note that even this trait - this dedication - is very relatable and understandable to me. Some years ago the only value I saw in myself was in what I loved to do the most - drawing and translation. I'm very mid level, and even this may very well be an overestimation of my skills, but those were the only things that mattered to me. If I didn't do them, what was even the point of me? I didn't feel I fully lived otherwise. I overcame this way of thinking as it is pretty damaging, but I still remember it perfectly. And I still need for what I do to matter. If I manage to make some positive impact on the world around, however small it may be, that would be enough, and that would be the only thing that matters after I'm gone. Hilbert though makes this approach absolute because of his trauma. So yeah, I have a lot of complicated feelings about this all at once. It's tragic, it's admirable, it's heartbreaking and feels like the only way at times, it should never happen.
I also know very well what it means to be able to disregard pretty much anything if I believe this is the right way or the aim to be important enough. I unintentionally made my friend cry once because of this and keep this memory as a reminder of why I should always try to see other POVs and a broader picture. The absolute, applied to human principles, is a bad idea in most cases.
Also, I like that he has a no-nonsense personality but regularly engages in said nonsense. I know in the first few episodes the creators just didn't understand where to go with the podcast yet and that's why everyone and everything is so different there, but I need for things to make sense in-universe, so I'm partial to the POV that Hilbert just put up an act and dropped it later. But still, he did participate in the crew's shenanigans and didn't seem to complain about it. And Funzo? Please, it was A DELIGHT. There was NOTHING, no reasons to take part in the game but he still did. The doctor is pretty goofy when he lets himself, huh? I like this fun part of his personality. The best sign the personality is still very much present.
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Aaron t has autism. I HAVE EVIDENCE. in the manga when natar said "your face must be connected to your stomach" he genuinely didnt know he was being sarcastic. And he also freaked out when his icecream fell, and natar said "all this over an icecream?". As an autistic person I related to that in a really weird way. I will get really irrationally mad at the most random things and alot of people dont get why it's such a big deal to me. And also because, I said so. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.
I love headcanoning characters that I mildly relate to with autism.
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Hey, Nym, are you okay? I'm so sorry someone was ableist with one of your (amazing) hcs 🥺 I'm here if you wanna talk about what happened. But no pressure ♡
I debated answering this one publicly. Debated answering this one at all. Because sure, for all my playful kvetching, my passionate rants about why the things I like are cool and people shouldn't be dicks about it, and my occasional relatable depression text post reblog, I don't get negative on here. It's kind of my thing, or at least I like to think it is. I love to think my brand on here is that weird, positive autistic girl who is completely obsessed with Poe Dameron, and I also like to think it's a well earned brand. You don't stay on this bullshit for three years if you're normal.
So yeah, debated answering it because I didn't want to post the honest answer, but honestly this is a shitty situation, and it's important, so I am: I'm not okay.
I won't go into details, because contrary to what some clowns may believe I don't vague post (oh, oops, guess I just did a little), or at least if I kind of do, it's usually vaguing behaviors I see spread across multiple parts of a fandom, but I will talk about what it's like to be disabled and in fandom. What it is like to be autistic and in fandom.
I'm on Tumblr because it's a space where I can have a little dragon hoard of my special interest. It's where I can infodump about it. It's a space where I don't have to mask (much). In 2020, I jumped feet first into a certain special interest because life was shit and it made me happy. For every shitty take, every negative opinion I was hit with, I threw out more positive creations. I wrote. I giffed. I meta-ed to my heart's content and I was so fucking happy.
Then it....became a thing. I don't mind, as previously mentioned, my brand being that girl weirdly obsessed with a fictional pilot who isn't that popular outside of his fanon ships from a trilogy that this website loathes with as many burning suns as I hate - I don't even know something I hate that much. Anyway, I didn't mind that. But suddenly I became a wikipedia search bar. And....for the first little while, I didn't mind. Because I got to infodump about him, and I don't get to infodump irl, and my friends had heard plenty. And besides, I liked helping people! I like pointing people in the right direction of things.
But like I said. It became a thing. People were comfortable dm-ing me questions, getting mad about the answers I had, and sending back their own headcanons to contradict them. I got praised a lot for....having a special interest and being passionate about that subject. It started to feel a little bit...weird. But then I started realizing that people mostly only talked to me when they needed information from me, and that felt. Awful. It made me feel used just a little bit, and I took a step back from fandom because of it and some other mental health issues I was having.
(apparently if you're autistic this means you're 'distant')
But I wanted to keep creating, because making stuff makes me happy, and I'm autistic and I want a space to be autistic, and don't always want to (I know it does not bother you, but still) bother my friends with it, because there's loads of other conversations to have.
Fandom is more isolated now, but I feel that more keenly as someone who is disabled and audhd. Characters I relate to are seen as villains and monsters in the fandom, or manipulators that pressure people into doing what they want, or arrogant assholes who really just need to be put in their place. I try my best to ignore it.
It's harder to ignore when a not-super popular headcanon you made out of comfort after dissing your abled a bit more and living through a fairly traumatic job experience (and ergo losing out on a job because no one believed you were disabled), gets taken and written in an explicitly ableist way that mimicks precisely the trauma you were seeking comfort from.
I don't know who fandom is for anymore, but it's certainly not for me.
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Neurodivergency Coding in Disney and Nick Shows
Okay this was requested by @gstone97. I'd like to talk about neurodivergency coding in Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows. Disney and Nick shows have A LOT of neurodivergent coding, and whether they give neurodivergent traits to characters unintentionally or intentionally to mock neurodivergency is something I've considered but have not come to an answer on. Personally, I believe the neurodivergency coding is unintentional, but I'd have to research it more. Seeing as I'm autistic and have ADHD, most of these characters will be characters I believe to have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or ADHD, but if you'd like to add any characters that have any other neurodivergency I'd love that.
Let's start this post off by talking about Cat Valentine from Victorious.
Although many have said that Cat may just have trauma (and I'm not arguing with that, she definitely has trauma), I'd like to argue that Cat also has Autism Spectrum Disorder. She says inappropriate things during inappropriate times. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=246172576497297 If you watch this video you can see multiple times where she says inappropriate things. This could lend to my next point which is that Cat doesn't understand social cues. I can't find the exact example, but I believe there's a scene where Cat doesn't understand an expression. Cat also frequently uses self stimulatory behavior, also known as stimming. Additionally, Cat collects stuffed animals, which could be considered a hyperfixation.
The next character I want to talk about is Max Russo from Wizards of Waverly Place.
I'd argue that Max has ADHD. He struggles with his grades, as we see through most of the show. However, he is smart, he just needs a different learning style. One of my favorite episodes with Max in the show is the episode where the school gets a new principal and he starts doing really well in school. Despite common beliefs, Max is NOT stupid. Additionally, Max has a hard time picking up sarcasm. There are a lot of episodes where he takes things literally, which could be a symptom of autism but can also be a symptom of ADHD. He seems to go through brief phases where he's obsessed with things, such as when he gets obsessed with the idea of being Family Wizard.
Another character I believe to be autistic coded is Spencer Shay from iCarly.
Spencer's Wiki page even refers to him as "weird, eccentric." A lot of autistic people can come across as weird. Plus, Spencer's interest in art could easily be considered a hyperfixation or special interest. Plus, Spencer doesn't understand social cues. He brings home an ostrich and doesn't seem to understand why it's a problem. I definitely view him as autistic.
Another character I headcanon as autistic is Skylar Storm from "Mighty Med."
Although I could write a whole other post about the autistic coding of alien or other-worldly characters, this isn't that post. Skylar shows a lack of understanding of social cues, likely because she's from another planet, but even as time goes on Earth she fails to grasp them. She frequently says inappropriate things. She often fails to understand that Oliver is flirting with her. I would definitely argue that many of these could be due to not being from Earth, but I would definitely say she's autistic-coded regardless. Many alien characters that find their way to Earth are autistic-coded, and she definitely fits in there.
Finally, I'll talk about what to me is the most obvious autistic-coding of a character on Disney Channel: Dez Wade from Austin & Ally.
Dez fails to understand common phrases, a reoccurring joke in the show. He also fails to understand tone and doesn't seem to comprehend when people are mad at him. He seems to have a special interest in film and has a very almost obsessive relationship with Austin. He struggles socially and has difficulty making friends. I could go on and on about why he's autistic, but I won't.
Overall, I don't know why so many Disney and Nickelodeon characters are neurodivergent coded. It could be an attempt to mock neurodivergency, or it could be a completely innocent accident. I'd like to believe it's not on purpose or if it is it's not an attempt to mock autism or neurodivergency, but it's definitely possible. Also, if you're a Disney or Nickelodeon fan who's neurodivergent please watch "The Proud Family." They have a character who gets diagnosed with autism.
#disney channel#nickelodeon#cat valentine#dez wade#victorious#austin and ally#wizards of waverly place#max russo#icarly#spencer shay#skylar storm#personal essay
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Yay, happy take meme time! I know you have a lot of Oxventure aspec headcanons, do you have any that’s your favorite? Or just one that you wanna talk about right now? :D
I'm glad people know that I have a lot of Oxventure aspec headcanons. They mean a lot to me. I don't know if I have any favorites, but the ones I've been thinking a lot about currently are aroace Silas, aroace Garnet, and aroallo Prudence. I have a lot of thoughts about them. Edit: This kiiiiinda contains ship hate, but it's pretty much me being mad at fandoms for essentially throwing platonic stuff and friendships to the side because they think romance is more interesting (they're wrong).
For aroace Silas, I already like him a lot (he may be my favorite pc for oxventure deadlands) and find a lot of joy in the fact he really doesn't seem to be into any kind of romance. He really seems to enjoy Edie's presence, but it really feels like strictly platonic to me. I think he values friends a lot, like he seems lonely in the way that autistic people are lonely because he's bad at social interactions and also in an aroace way because I imagine he really doesn't want to his words to be misconstrued as flirting or his awkwardness having a crush. For example, he seems to really respect women (he's chugging that respect women juice) and he wants to be really nice to women but he doesn't want the women in his life to think that he's into them (that's why I wrote the first aspec oxventure one-shot in that one-shot compilation on ao3). I think he hates the idea of romance and pda as a whole. I think people often ask if he has a girlfriend, and he finds it annoying. Then, when he says he isn't interested in stuff like that, they think he's gay and asks if he has a boyfriend, and he says no to that, making the asker confused and him angry. He doesn't need a romantic partner, and he hates how people think he does. I think that makes it a bit difficult to be friends with Edie sometimes because she's just so romantic and loves romantic love. He loves her platonically, but he is not listening to her gush about her crush. He's an allo hater to me. He's so sick of their bs. Also, if you add blue to his character art, he's got aroace flag colors.
For aroace Garnet, I imagine she's chiller with romance. It's absolutely not for her, but she'll listen to Edie talk about her crush or romantic partner. Speaking as to why I headcanon her as aroace though, she's literally so fun and never seems to really be into anyone. She's just chilling as a powerful huckster that's snarky, and I think that's incredible. She seeks perfectly comfortable being alone and as an aroace person, I really enjoy that. She's never bringing up the idea of flirting with someone for the mission or thinking someone is cute. She's just...existing and living her best life. I know she seems to enjoy Edie's presence (and Edie enjoys hers) despite never doing a duo mission together, and I like to view that platonically. It's a girl thinking another girl is really cool, and that's not inherently romantic. Garnet wants to follow Edie because she's a fellow strong and independent woman. I think that's neat. I like to view them as having a sisterly relationship post-canon. They talk about Edie's crushes/partner(s) and Garnet's aroaceness and how aphobes are braindead and pathetic.
I find it a bit weird that both of those had stuff to do about Edie, but Edie's just so iconic, and both characters clearly care about her a lot. She's platonically loves both Silas and Garnet soooooo much, and they platonically love her back just as much. I love it when characters are so deeply fond of each other platonically.
Last aspec headcanon I've been thinking a lot about lately, aroallo Prudence. There's not much about it. She cares about power and evilness and not romance, and honestly, that's iconic. She's not ace to me because she shows sexual attraction to things (I'm thinking about when they did smth for a bachelor party or smth, and both Corazón and her found some monsters hot) and because the world needs more aroallo characters, headcanon and canon. Also, not to be someone who's like "it's literally canon! *shows a sentence a character says that can be viewed in a thousand different ways that doesn't confirm said character is [x]*" but like she literally says that romance is for the weak/for cowards. That mixed with her being vulnerable towards people she views as her close friends is really sweet. I choose to view it as her finding people who don't judge her for finding romance below her, and she feels safe with them. I love it when characters can feel safe and be sweet with their friends and it not viewed as romantic, and I wish that happened in oxventure because I think Prudence's arc of learning to trust and feel safe with the guild is farrrrr more interesting if it isn't just like "they're all in romantic loveeeee and having sexxxxx". I like her as a proud aroallo woman who will not hesitate to hate on aphobes, and honestly, we need more characters like that. She's absolutely proud of herself and will kill you if you're a hater/bigot, especially to the person she is and I love that.
#asks#ask games#officialgleamstar#this got sorta mean at the end but you caught me at a time where I'm really sick of allos#I hope this is happy enough#I just got really into my hcs
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aileen ashild aodh.
triggers: ableism (towards an autistic individual; from school faculty), sensory overstimulation (mentions of it happening & how to combat it)
history / headcanons:
uses both neutral & feminine pronouns. tries to keep the usage of each about equal, but if someone just picks one & sticks with it, they won't get mad.
super into fixer-upper stuff, which explains why they live in lakeridge & drive a car older than them! the house they live in is going under remodel by her own hands! she plans to turn it into her dream home.
after four years, they’ve only finished two rooms: the main bedroom & the kitchen. this is because they’re trying to only use their own money on the renovations. & she wants it to be perfect, a dream home.
aileen comes from a pretty well-off family, which is how she can afford to live on her own in denver at 24 (parents pay the mortgage). they originate from castle rock, co, which is south of denver but north of the springs.
she grew up playing outside, never masking, & surrounded by family. even if said family was just her parents and older sibling.
their passion for music started young. see, both parents are in the music industry: mom’s an audio engineer & dad’s front man for an indie rock band. originally, aileen wanted to be a singer like their dad.
but they can’t carry a vocal tune to save their life. so they turned towards mixing like their mom.
which is how aileen landed her first dj job! a classmate (in her arts academy days, more on that below) was having a party & was in desperate need of someone to do the music. enter aileen, well-known to have music-inclined parents. she took the few mixing skills she had at that point to make a (pretty shitty) set.
seeing everyone enjoying the music they put together, even if it wasn’t their words or instrumentals, all of those people enjoying something they made unlocked a new passion.
their dj alias is “ASHE” (though this is the only time i’ll stylize it that way to keep an all lowercase aesthetic). it’s a play on their middle name “ashild.” also, phoenix imagery since their last name means “fire.”
won't get upset if you use her stage name instead of her real one in a convo. sometimes people know her better as ashe & who's she to care.
at twenty, after building rapport in castle rock, aileen set out for the big city. denver! why denver? why not los angeles or nashville or any city known for having a club scene? the sibling from bullet four is here! (i mean, not yet, but i plan on putting a wc out).
life hasn’t been all fun & games for aileen, though. it mostly has been, but being so openly autistic had consequences. school faculty brushed her off, rolling eyes at her “disruptiveness” aka stimming.
when it came to school, aileen made a conscious effort to not vocally stim & to keep other stims small (hair twirling, chewelry, leg bouncing, finger tapping, etc) to a minimum, but teachers didn’t work with her. it hurt her to not stim, but the school environment made i so she felt she had to.
not even an iep helped. this issue cumulated in the aodh parents pulling aileen out of public school & enrolling her in a charter arts academy. the faculty at this school were much better at working with aileen & the environment of a bunch of other public school rejects helped her flourish.
wears sound-cancelling headphones all the time to help with sensory overload. this is especially important when aileen's at the 303 since clubs are overstimulating environments.
being the one in control of the music (& the volume) helps combat that. it's why she can be in that environment for hours at a time.
wanted connections:
her older sibling! i’ll be submitting a wc to the main, but if anyone wants to discuss it already, hit me up. this is the only one that would need to be a brand new character.
fellow djs! not necessarily at the 303 or even professionals, but just someone aileen could talk about music & mixing with.
a best friend! someone they met in childhood*, or high school*, or maybe even during their time in denver. the two became fast friends over shared interests. thick as thieves ever since. (*if a childhood or hs best friend, they'd have to be from castle rock since that's where aileen originates from).
a rival! well, rival is a bit inaccurate. more like someone who just doesn't like her & who she doesn't like either. they'll get into word spars, but it doesn't ever really go too far. only a tiny bit of real heat behind hurled insults. could be a professional rival or a personal one or maybe even someone else obsessed w/ renovation who doesn't like aileen maximalist style.
romantic interest! i like cute romance threads, so a datemate (of any gender) for aileen would be awesome.
if you’re hearing THE RECORD PLAYER SONG by DAISY THE GREAT playing, you have to know AILEEN AODH (THEY/SHE; DEMIFEMALE) is near by! the TWENTY-FOUR year old DISK JOCKEY (DJ) AT CLUB 303 has been in denver for, like, FOUR YEARS. they’re known to be quite BOISTEROUS, but being INDOMITABLE seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble CHLOÉ HAYDEN. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those THE SPARKLE YOUR EYES GET WHEN EXCITED, STAYING UP LATE LISTENING TO A SONG ON REPEAT, & NEON LIGHTS AT ALL TIMES OF THE DAY vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the LAKERIDGE long enough!
*please note that since chloé is autistic, has adhd, & has postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (pots), aileen will have these traits as well!! she is being written by an autistic mun, but one w/o adhd or pots. aileen's portrayal is heavily influenced by my own experiences.
#chq;intro#aileen aodh;; all#aileen aodh;; headcanons#//#wow that history isn't chronological at all!! but i can't imagine writing it another way
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